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#you could almost say green takes after his dad
eternalglitch · 2 years
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Okay so I've been keeping up to date with your fic LFLS and obviously it is amazing, I usually stick with completed fanfics simply because I'm always afraid they would be abandoned, which of course I don't blame people for it: life happens and a fanfic isn't always the priority and such! Any how, your fanfic literally was everywhere (TikTok, Tumblr, Instagram) for me so I decided to check it out and it has to be the most engaging, angst fanfic I've ever read!
Anyway before I keep rambling on about how great your writing and story telling skills are, I did want to mention that in the recent chapter where Green is ripping up Lou Jitsu's Posters (oof!) and Splinter walks in, obviously upset that his son is kind of tearing his father apart. It did make me wonder about Green finding out that the person Draxam wanted him to be, the person Green couldn't live up to, is the same person who is currently trying to raise Leo from the dead, who is trying to get Green to heal as best as he can. Also, the fact that Big Mama is coming back made me think about if Green did find out about the fact that Splinter = Lou Jitsu, would that confusing him more, making him feel more untrustworthy towards his family? Or would it help Splinter creep in through the cracks of Green, since Splinter had gone through so much during the Battle Nexus, and when he came out of it he also had lost everything (his family, his humanity, even his alter ego) to the point where he was no longer Hamato Yoshi nor was he Lou Jitsu, he became known as Splinter, similar to how Green now refers to himself as so. I'm pretty sure if you answer, I probably won't get to know, you know because spoilers and such, but now that I've written this I did realise that Splinter and Green have a lot more in common now simply because Splinter can no longer *be* Hamato Yoshi nor Lou Jitsu, because of everything he's been through, and even becoming a dad, he is now Splinter, who was once those people, and now a different person (not the greatest person, or dad, but he tries). Was it a coincidence that Green is so similar to Splinter? Or perhaps planned? Or am I looking a little too deep within the lines because that is another thing I tend to do instead of taking things at face value, aha!
Sorry for the short story 😅 it wasn't supposed to be this long but I tend to ramble and I'm not one for slimming text down to the point, oops!
I think the title of the fanfic could help answer this one for me…
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screampied · 5 months
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‘ ONE OF HIS GIRLSSSS ! ,
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ᡴꪫ‎ sum. toji ends up finding out maybe his best friend's daughter isn’t so innocent after all once he walks in on you and your precious 12k viewers. he grows amused by your little side hustle as a cam girl. but actually, maybe having him as a special guest wasn’t so bad. (girl it was)
wc. 6k
warnings. fem! reader, vōyerism, dad's best friend! toji, age gap (reader is over twenty), unprotected, praise, dirty talk, squírting, cunnílingus, slight dumbification, impact play, size kink, spit.
dbf! toji masterlist
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“guys, i’m serious,” you’d utter, your monitor staring right back at you — a full live audience of over twelve thousand eyes listening to you speak. you were cooped up in your room, slouching on your chair with your legs pressed together. “he’s totally real. we even almost got caught one time.”
you were referring to your dad’s best friend, toji…
just muttering his name aloud made you feel all sorts of tingles. oh, to think how that 'one time' was just about three days ago. you still remember everything like it just happened, the intoxicating taste of toji’s lips, his unforgettable loud cologne scent, how fucking mean he was, you missed him, who were you even kidding. last time you checked, him and your father went out somewhere. you didn’t bother to care where, probably fishing or something.
skimming through the plethora of donations with filthy questions, thirsty provocative questions that desperately craved your attention, you read one, “how is he in bed, oh—well,” and you squeeze your thighs before re-adjusting your screen. “he’s okay. i had to fake my orgasms a few times though, figures ‘cause he’s kinda old.”
“oh yeah?”
as if on cue, there toji stood—right outside your doorway, hands buried in his deep roots of pockets and that same unreadable expression. he’s sending you straight daggers, you crane your neck to glance at him before you panic, “uh, i’ll talk to you guys later.”
“nah keep that shit on, girl,” he shakes his head, trodding his bare feet towards you. you mentally face palm. you could have sworn he was out somewhere with your father. “just when i thought ya couldn’t get even freakier,” he mutters, and he’s now behind you—green irises peering at your monitor. the chat suddenly spams with some of your audience lusting over toji, wondering if he’s a special guest. “heyyy,” he says to the screen, his voice was a pitchy low and then you gasp once he throws an arm around you. “is he a special guest?” and then he turns to you with a sly grin. “i don’t know, princess . . am i?”
“. . . i mean i guess,” you speak, not even realizing how your tone softens a bit. this always happened, whenever you were just a few feet away from toji, you’d feel so tense. it’s officially been a week since the two of you were screwing around—you hadn’t gotten caught, at least you think you haven’t gotten caught. the thrill of it all though, it was enticing. he eyes your little set up and he’s amused more than anything. “this is the guy i was telling you guys about,” you avert your dilated pupils back towards the bright screen. “this is . . . toji.”
“heh yo,” he scoffs at the screen with a greet, seeing how your confidence fades the moment he’s in the room with you. toji leans beside you, eyeing the lewd comments before one catches his eye. “tell him to turn around. what for?”
you sheepishly grin at the webcam, knowing some of your aroused fans wanted to take a quick peek at toji’s ass. to be fair, you couldn’t exactly blame them. you stare a bit yourself, and it was definitely. . . something.
three new tips from mod gojoclitoru: girl bye he looks like he doesn’t shower
wormfucker69: he looks like the guy who works @ my cleaners lol
shokostrapdestroyer: Where’s Shoko ?????
kanyeastinfection: Soooo hawt ;)
iloveosamudazai: i miss nanamin
“how come y’er all shy? i heard what you’ve been saying ‘bout me, y’know,” toji mumbles. he stands tall, cracking his neck towards the left. his entire frame, he was always so handsome. you take a moment to glance up at him, his perfectly chiseled physique. he looked like he was about to head to the gym, he had on a simple wife beater with dingy grey sweats. his gaze he had towards you was purely tantalizing. “. . ah,” he inches closer towards you, bending down as you sat on the office chair, getting right up close to your face. “why don’t you repeat that last bit for me. you fake your orgasms with this old man?”
“i didn’t ….” you trail off, trying to come up with some excuse. suddenly, it felt hot. you felt hot.
your heart starts to race the more he stared you down. the chat was going at a much more rapid speed, it’s like your viewer count doubled the moment toji entered. then you thought—maybe this would do you some good, having him as a special guest didn’t seem so bad.
he lightly grabs your chin, making you peer straight into his eyes. “i stay away from you for three days ‘n it seems like you forgot how to act.”
toji did have a point precisely, for the last three days you basically had the entire house to yourself. him and your father went out to some business trip, you missed him though.
of course, if you tagged along you’d be sure you’d both get caught so you just offered to watch over the house. it was as if the more time you spent with toji, the more you started to feel something.
you didn’t know what it was, it was hard to put into detail, put into pure words—but you knew for certain, you didn’t wanna stop seeing him. it was spring break after all…
“i meant what i said,” you mutter.
while returning his gaze, toji’s eyes widen for a bit, off guard by your sudden switch of attitude. you had a bit of a plan, you decided if you played along, your sweet thousands of fans would eat it up. and they were, the repetitive high-pitch sounds of constant donations rang through your ears before you continue to speak. “i faked everything, toji.”
his eyes linger into you for a long time before he drags a thumb down your lip. “well shit. that so?” and his voice—it pitches a dangerous tune. you already start to feel your thighs squeeze together more tightly. “mhm,” he grunts, watching you nod your head in response. he scoffs to himself before grumbling. “maybe i should make it more real for you then.”
with such simple words, trust and believe he does.
toji’s way of making it more real was to simply have you ride his face, all in front of your audience too.
for some reason, you felt burning up coming to the sheer realization that literally all eyes were simply on you. a quick glance at your blue light monitor and the viewer count displayed a hefty whopping amount of 12,295. all you could think about it was the hefty bank you were about to make.
your legs quaver as toji’s laid flat on your old bed, having you take your seat right on his face — his breath is hot as he runs his tongue alongside your inner thighs before giving you a stare. “eyes down here, not them,” he snarls, and you moan once he spanks your pre-soaked clit, your panties still attached. “they aren’t about to fuckin’ eat you out, are they?”
“n—no,” you murmur out, looking down back at him and he slowly runs a fat thumb down your slit.
oh, you were soaked alright.
a cute little damp spot between the middle part of your underwear makes an appearance and he slides his tongue all against it. he’s so slow with it all, making sure to take his time to make you pout out for him. “toji,” you mumble, feeling your tummy sink in before you huff out a single breath. he’s still so attractive, even underneath you—a little yet nice amount of facial hair scatters near certain parts of his face. scattered specks of brief darkened hair near his sharp jaw paint his face like an empty canvas. you run a finger against his chin and he shoots you a sleazy grin. “hurry up, toji.”
dark eyes flicker back towards you before he gifts your sopping pussy a mean spank. “hurry up toji,” he mocks your tone. you melodically whimper, watching as he licks a single stripe between your covered slit. “shut the fuck up. ‘m gonna take my time with you since apparently you ‘fake’ everything.”
you couldn’t help but merely slip out a giggle, your comment really offended him in some way. obviously, you were joking though—you and toji both knew he knew how to snatch multiple orgasms out of you at once. he was quite a skilled man without question, with his tongue—his dick, literally anything.
although, you snap out of your salacious thoughts the moment you feel him latch his tongue against your folds. it took you a minute to realize your panties were already off, he practically ripped them off and he was already digging in. you whimper, hovering your weight over his face before staring at the lit up monitor.
BIGDICKKUNA: Even my domain has better camera quality than this
gojoclitoru: here sukuna go…
FOXYKITTEN2940: clean up aisle my pants >.<
you’re starting to grind against his face, a hand combing through his hair before your bite your lip. toji stares at you, dragging a thumb down your puffy slit before leaning back to spit on it. he was always such a sloppy man—no shame in the world. you’d feel yourself pulsate whenever he did that, departing his lips away from your cunt before collecting a good wad of saliva to coat your folds with such a sheeny translucent color.
squelch after squelch, undeniably you were sopping. his nose briefly prods against your nub and you whine once he finally starts to actually eat you out.
“f-fuckkk.” you’d breathe, intaking a sharp breath. sudden dizziness overtook you—a thrum escapes from your sheeny lips as you rock your hips forward. it was hypnotic, the way you move against his mouth. toji looked so pretty underneath you too. his eyes, so hooded and half lidded—such a hungry gaze, a starved animal. he starts tantalizingly slow at first, making sure to lay the flat of his tongue against your entrance before simply digging in.
side—to—side, his head continues to swiftly shift and move as he’s devouring his meal, a thumb continues to strum against your slick arousal before he starts to suck, suck, suck.
candy, a perfect way to describe your taste in toji’s humblest opinion. he could never get enough, a few long strands of his hair tickles against your thighs as he resumes his sloppy eating. “mhm. pull on it.” he says between hot breaths, and you feel a sudden fire ignite inside of you. you knew immediately he was referring to his hair. such ruffled, messy strands desperately awaiting to be tugged by your fingers.
so you do—you take a good grab, lightly yanking him forward and he grunts.
“. . harder,” he rasps, and he’s already starting to look blissed out. eyes all glazed over, you wriggle over his face before you feel a sudden shiver overtake you. you pull harder and his face goes right against your cunt. you sloppily swipe against his nose like a credit card and he smirks at you. “that’s what ‘m talking about. ride my face, girl.”
his words, his filthy vulgarly words guide you through it all.
each pulse makes you twitch even more—each breath that runs out your mouth feels like it’s going to be your last, especially with a tongue like toji’s. he makes sure not to miss a drop, slurping quite everything out of you. he was a man—not necessarily a clean one, but he was never scared of a little mess. you start to coat the bottom part of his chin with your slit, it’s glistening so much.
after a while, toji’s already drunk off of your sweetened taste. every few flicks of his tongue against your nub makes cute whimpers coo out your throat and you only tighten the grip against his hair.
“r-right there, ‘s good when you suck there, toji.”
“cause i know what the fuck ‘m doing.” he grumbles back, bringing his same thumb to slide down your slit. he repeats it again and again. smearing your own mess right back on you, only to clean it up. he was a messy man, and with a tasty pussy that you had—you only made him ten times messier.
he was never one to complain though, toji’s the type to never say thank you—he shows you how grateful he is, it involves with being between your legs.
toji fushiguro…
a sleazy man without a single care in the word, maybe messing around his with best friend’s daughter slash colleague was a bit taboo. but did he care—no, was he gonna stop doing it—no, was he perhaps catching feelings for you the more time he spends with you? were you catching feelings?
. . .
unanswered questions, even if you asked yourself that question, you honestly couldn’t even know how to reply. the two of you never really labeled anything, so this was just a simple spring break fling right?
once courses resume and you go back to your well prestige university your father got you into due to connections, that’d probably be the last you’d see of him. toji fushiguro, the man you’ve been screwing around with for the past almost two weeks. it’s almost safe to say that you started to get attached to his presence—sometimes it’s like the two of you didn’t even care if you got caught. there was literally a time where toji fingered you under the table during dinner.
that was . . embarrassing.
the way you were trying to withhold a conversation with your father—he’s just rambling you about what a boring day he had at the office and you’re over here gushing on his best friend’s fingers. you find yourself thinking about that specific moment all too well—as well as the various other ones, him fucking you on the hood of his car, in the living room, and even the bathroom—which your panties ended up getting found.
oops.
“told you to keep those fuckin’ eyes on me,” he hoarsely rasps—snapping you out of your lewd reminiscing fantasm. his tongue, it’s swirling all against your clit as you focus your attention back towards him. with two big hands, he holds your jerky hips steady—feeling you rut against his mouth before he feels you pulse right in his mouth. “yeah.” he mutters, bringing two digits to prod towards your slick entrance. you whine, feeling him slowly insert them with ease—so wet, he was almost in awe at how you were dripping like a faucet. not even a faucet could compare nor describe how sodden your sweet cunt was. each lap he makes with his tongue gets more filthy, it turns into sucking before you’re practically spasming all over again.
you moan, hands still tight and rigidly tangled within his strands before you take a quick peek at your laptop. so many eyes were on you—so many more eyes now, the count was steadily doubling, the donations you were receiving made your mouth nearly water. tip after tip, your pupils turned into green dollar signs. this was probably the most viewers you had in the entirety of your little cam girl side hustle.
all thanks to toji.
you’re getting close, it’s inevitable—especially with the way your hips continue to rock back and forth. a cute rhythm he got accustomed to, toji brings two rough hands towards the fat mounds of your ass before squeezing it. he was always a handsy man, feeling all over your body. green pools of eyes stare right at you as you’re intaking each staggering breath that escapes your spit-glossed lips. “c-close, toji,” you’d babble out, your knees almost buckle—a sudden twinge pouring into your lower abdomen before you mewl. “gonna—cum, gonna—”
“baby hold it,” he says sternly, the base in his voice never failing to make you wet. he breaks his lips away for a moment before he glances at the screen—an upside down position. “hm. chat, should the pretty girl finish early?”
your heart drops—you knew how many trolls you had in your audience, and before you could cutely tell him to just let you climax, he hums in amusement at the incoming flood of comments.
chososbootylicker29: Petition to have Toji oiled and cheeked up
zorosballswallower: NOOOOO
anonymoususer: dad?
gojoclitoru: lol no.
and with many others the comments continue to flood.
majority of the answers being no—you hated being edged, loathed it. especially with toji because he was so damn mean. he snickers, reading the responses upside down before you feel the two tips of his fingers shove way deep inside you. your back arches and you whine ore he holds your hips in place with a single hand. “looks like y’er little fans want you to wait pretty girl,” and you look down at him with a cute glare—his lips depart and his entire mouth from the very bottom of his chin was damp. even still, he looked so attractive. “cute. a glare ain’t gonna change nothing though,” and a pout shortly stretched against your lips as he runs his tongue near your frantic pulsing clit. he brings a spank to it and it makes you whine. “be a good girl ‘n wait a little longer.”
“i can’t,” you frown out, and that only earns another sharp spank towards your folds.
“yes you fuckin’ can,” and you start to whine once he stops eating you out. it felt so warm, all of a sudden the cold air wafts against your skin and you shudder. toji loves more than anything to spank your pussy whilst staring right into your eyes. “if i tell my girl to wait, she’s gonna wait.”
my girl…
for some reason, that made your pulsing ten times worse, a plethora of butterflies arise inside your stomach and you’re still just hovering over his face.
he palpates his fingers—not his tongue to rummage all inside your cunt, you frown cutely. you wanted his tongue, not his stubby thick fingers. although, the thing you wanted most was to finish. as you grind against his face, you feel his infamous scar run against your pussy and it tickles. it tickles in such a way that it drags out a sweet crying moan from you.
“t—toji,” you start to grow impatient. he’s just teasing you, blowing against your folds with warm breath, swiping his nose alongside your sopping entrance, anything but tasting you again. he likes seeing you like this, on the brink of tears because you got denied a climax. it started to come closer and closer until once it was finally there—you puff up your cheeks for a split second before moaning. “g-god, i can’t hold it. ‘m gonna cummm.”
“wait,” he utters in a husky rasp, watching as you quaveringly hover over his face—chin just soaked with your arousal, he licks the bottom of his lip before tittering at you. “you finish when i’m ready.”
“f-fuck you,” you whimper, and you end up cumming anyway—he’s taken aback but it only arouses him even more. the brat, oh the brat that you were. one of the many things he liked about you, you were submissive but not entirely—you had a backbone, you talked back to him, you even had the nerve to roll those pretty eyes at him.
it hits you like a semi-truck.
illegal full speed, the brakes were had to step on and you feel it just strike right into you at full force. your orgasm, you scoot your hips forward against his mouth and now he’s the one glaring at you. toji laps up all of you, two fingers spreading your clit apart before he spits on it again. “you just don’t listen, huh,” and his voice was even lower than it was before—a rich baritone lingering underneath it. you’re riding out your climax when he lightly shoves you on the bed.
in your mind, you’re thinking . .
finally, the good part.
toji grimaces at the cute smile that goes against your lips. you’re eager just as him— not to mention, it’s been three days since he’s touched you. “don’t get too excited, brat,” he grumbles with a scowl tugging the corners of his mouth. he plops onto the bed before staring down at you. “bend the fuck over for me. fake orgasm my ass.”
so blunt, you immensely comply—so impatient for him to just be inside of you.
the piles of donations triple by this point, and you try to take a peep at your screen before he spanks your ass. “ass up, face down little girl. don’t got all day.”
“sorryyy,” you giggle with a mere eye roll.
testing toji’s patience was always so fun for you. for whatever reason, getting on his nerves really turned you on. once you finally bend over for him, two hands grab the fats of your ass and you bite your lip once he prepares to align himself. you’re facing your bright lit screen.
the comments talking more about toji than you and you pout . . . figures though. he’s hot, no wonder all the attention would be on him instead of you.
with his right hand, he wraps it around his thick length before rubbing his tip against your pre-drenched entrance. he grunts, witnessing how your pussy tries to swallow him so easily…
you’re puckering, awaiting for him to stuff you full as you’re slump right into the mattress. “but sweetheart, y’er not sorry,” he grunts, smacking his fat tip against your slick folds. a soft mewl runs out the back of your throat before you arch just a bit more. with another spank, he snarls in a huff, “not gonna fuck ya that easy. y’er gonna have to use those manners if you wanna get what you want.”
“huh?”
“huh?” he mocks, kissing your ass with another spank from his palm. “you can’t hear? speak, girl. talk ‘ta me nice.”
glossy eyes of yours avert towards your screen, everyone’s lusting over toji and it only fuels his ego even more—you easily felt yourself throb, a pout never leaving your lips before you inhale.
“please . . ” you start, feeling him softly drag a hand against your curves, your physique. his touch always had you weak, taking in every part of your frame. all his . . just for these few weeks.
“please what?”
“please f—fuck me,” you grumble, and you’re growing more and more irritated—he hums to himself, amused. each second you spend speaking, each second he could be inside of you. you and him both knew that.
toji rubs his leaky tip with a bit more pressure against your pussy, just a a little more and he’d be inside. you started to feel your mouth salivate before you start to whine. “hm,” he ponders to himself, green eyes occasionally staring at the laptop that had about hundreds of comments spamming per second. “fine. i feel like bein’ nice to you today, especially since i haven’t seen my girl in a hot minute,” and again, he refers to you as his girl. it sends an unfamiliar feeling of butterflies brewing up in your stomach before he spanks you for probably the umpteenth time now. “now, arch a liiiitle more ‘n stare at your fans for me, yeah.”
you’re propped on the mattress with your ass all up in the air. from your screen as you stare at it, you spot toji’s mirroring reflection. that sly smile that slowly and gradually forms against his lips.
“lie the fuck down.” he mutters, feeling you try to sit up. you do, intaking a single breath before you feel him huff out a low puff. toji’s eyes stare right at your ass, he takes every moment in. the way you suck him in, it’s just filthy. the saturated squelches that shortly follow afterward—so filthy.
a six letter word to perfectly describe this entire situation.
arched over for your dad’s best friend, who would have thought—not you, not in a million years.
“ . . . shit,” he pants, and you’re so wet. you moan, pawing at the fat silk sheets in front of you. so many flooded comments of your audience merely thirsting over toji, wishing desperately that they were in your position. ( . . quite literally . . )
and toji’s just so fucking big.
he’s got a lofty height of inches under his belt.
metaphorically speaking—just a single sharp thrust and you’re speechless.
the wind gets snatched out of your lungs and it’s so vigorous that your head’s spinning. this entire angle, he’s got you right where he wants you—on all fours with your ass perked up. toji can’t keep his hands to himself anyway, his hands roam all over your waist before holding both hips in place. clammy hands just about stick to your skin before he starts to create a decent pace.
a slow pace — a slow pace that turns more mean.
languidly, you feel yourself leaning to his touch as he runs a hand down your spine.
toji brings one leg up to deepen the position and not even moments later, your lips part.
“t—toji . . ah ah,” and you don’t even recognize yourself. he repositions himself for a split second, making haste with his hips before sliding his feet right past your knees. with this, it’s more stimulation and you feel it all. just the right amount of pressure, his balls sharply thwack against your ass and it makes your mind cloud up with fuzz.
“. . damn,” he groans, a hand grabbing towards the back of your university hoodie. as he leans forward, dark viridescent colored pupils stare at your rear. the way it jerks and recoils against him, everytime . . it’s the best part. even more when he spanks it, deepening his hips against your cunt to earn out a cute whine or two from you. for what seemed like the millionth time, toji kisses the right cheek of your ass with various spanks. the sting has you gnawing on your lip like it’s candy, curling your toes up with a few droplets of sweat coating the bridge of your nose. “missed this pussy, three days too fuckin’ long, brat.”
“i missed you t—.”
“girl hello? i wasn’t talking to you.”
you frown, and it follows from a snicker from him.
“. . . so dramatic,” he’d eye roll once he hears you blow out a cute sigh. “fine, i did miss you,” and that was only a half lie. you knew in actuality, he missed what’s between your legs. toji still remained sassy as usual, it never left and it’d always stay. he’s buried all into you, deep to the hilt that each time his angry reddened tip drives against that spot, you squeal out in sweet pleasure.
it didn’t take him long to locate it, your g-spot. after a while you start to feel your pussy open, spreading wide—gaping. he was so ridiculously big, it’s leaving such question marks floating over your forehead because how can someone be this thick.
with a gruff—toji groans, veins bulging through his veins as he yanks your hoodie forward into him. he’s lenient, at least for a good while. letting you have your fun, get drunk off his cock before he edges you a more . . . oh just maybe.
gojoclitoru: does anyone want the link to my only fans :(
willbang4curses: Idk who I wanna be more…
iamnotsugurugetoseriouslyiamnothim: i want your only fans @/gojoclitoru
hotpeach03: Toji please I’m a single mom
your chat continues to spate, it’s so much that as your eyes watch them all flood down the logs, you could barely read the words.
he’s so deep inside, you’re almost drooling.
the stretch—he always leaves you so full, lips all parted and that same gaping mouth opening. pant after pant, you’re heaving heavily with your chest feeling tight and warm. “so deep,” you’d shriek, and he makes your arch lower just a bit further. he’s hitting all the right spots, not missing a single area. his dick retreats as it pulls out, then back again—twitching all inside of your cunt, he lunges forward with his hips before making you plop on your chest. “. . . .ohmygodohmygoddd,” and you were so whiney, you still can’t believe such pathetic noises slither past your damp lips. engulfed with your warm gummy walls squeezing him tight, he spanks you again . . . and again, and again.
“miss me that bad, huh?” he starts to speak. his voice was a pitchy rasp. a gruff base hides underneath it and you can hear the grit lingering like he needs to clear his throat. nevertheless, you throb anyway as he’s jackhammering his cock right into your swollen cunt over, and over, and over. “that why ya keep walkin’ around with these outfits? with no fuckin’ panties underneath, yeah?”
“forgot,” you whimper, shuddering once you feel toji grow playful. he trails his thumb towards your neglected puckering hole, fiddling with it just to get a reaction out of you, and he does. “s-sorry, ‘m sorry.”
“you don’t just forget to put panties on, slut,” he groans, and he feels himself approaching soon. it’s at the tip of his tongue—he feels the burn arise in the lower parts of his thighs, veins contouring to bulge all throughout his body. “wonder what y’er old man would think. ya only pull this shit ‘cause ‘s just you ‘n me here.”
he was right.
then again—if you’d have your father here, you’d never pull a bold stunt like that.
you’d rather drop dead than save yourself the embarrassment. funny though, considering the amount of times you almost got caught.
“so . . ” you mumble, and that’s when he presses his weight right against you this time. ah, prone bone.
you were really in for it now, thickly you swallow before his weight merely hovers over your ass, really deep in you this time.
he vigorously rams his thick cock into your sweltering cunt that’s hugging him oh so tight. he’s such a tease too—using every few chances he gets to poke and gingerly rub a thumb against your pulsating hole.
sweet moans die from your throat as you’re clinging onto the bed—such force that the springs nearly collapse from the whopping amounts of weight creating sheer impact. each thrust, it rings rapidly throughout your ears before toji groans. “f—fuck,” he’d groan, ignoring your little attempts of pure bratiness. you were at your wits end, smothering your glossed lips together before you feel his rounded cockhead mash against your most forbidden spots. spots that was so deep inside the inner areas of your cunt that it makes you mewl out in pure ecstasy. “gonna make me fill you up, princess,” he huffs out, tugging even tighter on the bottom part of your cerulean blue pull over. “s—shit,” and his gruff voice pitches time and time again. for a moment, you think you can hear toji whimper. it was real subtle though, but you heard it. loud and clearly. “gonna take it like you always do?”
“yesyesyes,” you nod—words pouring out of your lips like a waterfall, kneading your fingers into your palms as you bawled up the bedsheets right into your hands. with hooded droopy eyes, you stare at the screen with a dumb expression—he then takes the opportunity to get closer, grabbing you by the hair before holding your head up in front of your thousands of viewers.
“yes what, girl.”
you whine, feeling how perfectly his dick mashed throughout your folds—so easy for him, he was so thick that the stretch was simply immaculate.
“yesss, ‘m gonna take your c-cum, toji,” you’d pant, feeling your own eyes roll backwards—you probably looked a mess in front of your own thirteen thousand viewers, but you could care less. all that your empty brain could fathom was how you were ludicrously stuffed with his hefty cock. he’s drilling into you so good that that it almost feels like a massage. rough fingers run down your spine with one hand, another holding your head by the hair like it’s a prized possession before you whimper. “fuck me, fuck me, fuh—”
toji slaps a hand over your mouth the minute he hears something from downstairs—sure enough, it had to be your father.
shit.
he must have came home early. you remember him mentioning to you he was taking a trip to the corner store after work, probably to get some booze for him and toji to enjoy for some dumb football game.
“honeyyy? you up there?”
you moan, almost feeling your eyelids grow heavy as he’s still holding your head up in front of your laptop—his reflection in the screen just pounding into you at full speed.
already, you’re coating the back of his hand with nothing but your damp saliva—such a dirty girl, preferably his dirty girl.
maybe you were a bit delusional, no. you were very delusional—maybe this could go somewhere? then. again, it was no secret on how toji’s only around to get his dick wet, a reality that you forevermore choose to ignore—until you’d soon find out how that would bite you in the ass later on.
dead silence—you’re just muffling out mewls right into his mouth, and as if on cue, toji ends up finishing inside of you. it’s so much, velvety ropes of hot nut that fill the very insides of your pussy, shooting straight into your womb that your tummy flutters. it’s so much to where it spews out of your hole, he’s gotta poke his thumb in and swipe some out with the way it continues to leak. it’s so dirty, then again—toji fushiguro was a dirty man, the dirtiest.
“are ya gonna reply ‘n let y’er old man know you’re getting off his best friend’s cock or . . ?”
his words, such a tease that he’s still slowly pumping into you. gradually but slow, he plugs into your walls—seeping with cum that oozes out of your folds and you stare at the screen with a cute cock-drunken expression. “mmph,” was your reply, the only reply you could formulate since his big hand almost covered your entire face. so you give him a concise nod, hooded eyes feeling dry from staring at the screen for so many amount of minutes.
eventually, your father leaves and returns back to what he was doing . . . phew.
“that’s right,” he whispers in a low risqué tone, bringing a kiss towards the left part of your neck.
so tender—you’re gathering the strength to sit up but you end up slumping forward. with a pathetic, ‘oof’ you land on your chest, your own climax at the very edge. it’s cute because you end up finishing around the same time—your chest feels heavy, lungs tightly collapsing and all. the perfect way to describe your orgasm was a bomb—a bomb that was ticking and ticking, preparing to detonate before it finally does. instead, the destruction was you squirting, all over toji’s dick that stuffed you full. he’s so close up to your ear, hot breath fanning against your earlobe before he continues to speak. “. . oh, y’er fuckin’ dumb right now, aren’t ya. can barely speak.” and he removes his hand to where a trail of your spit departs. so lewd, you’re spasming from your recent release before with a quick glance—you stare at your monitor. you surpassed your tip goal by a huge milestone, yet like toji said—you were too dumb to even process let alone acknowledge it.
“t—toji,” you whimper, feeling the remnants of his sweet and savory seed pour down the crevices of your thighs. it was sticky, sticking to your skin like glue, sweltering of its entirety.
“come here, princess.”
it surprised you. for once, he was being . . . soft.
you reach backwards, closing your laptop before leaning right into toji. you moan, feeling his beefy ripped arms wrap around you, bringing you right into his embrace. bulky arms go around your waist and he pulls you into a sloppily heated kiss.
simultaneously, your heart skips a few beats—a few, probably an understatement. he tastes sweet, you could make out a brief tang of liquor on his tongue—a taste you didn’t want to ever forget. as your tongue rummages against his, you moan once he gets a bit handsy, a hand going right between your legs to feel the mess he made. the mess you made yourself also.
breathy pants could be heard from your lips as you press your dampish perspiring hands all on his bare chest. he’s wearing a somewhat of a formal shirt — you tug on his collar, yearning for him to come closer, to touch you more, hold you more. something, whatever it was was just brewing up inside of the very depths, the very pits of your stomach.
toji groans, the warmth of his breath wafting against yours before he pulls you away to get a good glimpse of you. a big hand holds your waist, and his eyes peer into you for a long time before as if he hesitates—he kisses the top of your forehead, only to stare away with a scowl.
“. . . toji,” you murmur, and by this point you weren’t speaking with your brain—more so with your heart. it was apparent, especially with the way your droopy hooded eyes suddenly soften the moment you speak out the two syllables in his name.
“let me speak first.” he grouses, a thumb stringing alongside your back, gently strumming against your skin. with the way you gazed at him, making him lie back before aligning yourself, it was clear as day that you wanted more of him. he leans back, long strands of black hair run down his face with his legs sprawled before he prepares to finish.
you straddle him, sitting flat on his lap and he’s so warm—he’s a bit flustered, flaccid from his release and of course a bit sensitive. it’s quite rare to see toji in such a . . . vulnerable state. perhaps you soften him in a few ways or less. at least, that’s what you’d like to think.
it takes him a long time to formulate the words, it’s as if his tongue was tied—weird for him considering it’s toji, he’s always direct and blunt.
and yet for once, you have him speechless.
toji lets off a irritated sigh before while what seems like forever, he mutters out a gruff, “shit. i . . i think ‘m in love with you.”
“ . . . ”
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teddybeartoji · 5 months
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imagine toji and little gumi and little miki going grocery shopping. i just know that little girl is running the house lmao. she's walking ahead with the little list, her head poking into every single aisle as she collects everything they need. gumi is clinging to his dad's hand (his pinky finger), his tiny green eyes scanning his surroundings and toji can't help but glance down at his son every two seconds with soft eyes. he's so tiny. toji has to walk in slow-motion for gumi to keep up and his heart melts. but he's not in a rush. he doesn't mind that at all.
"dad!"
tsumiki's ponytail swings as she pops in front of him with puffed out cheeks. toji raises his brows and rumbles out a hm?.
"i can't reach."
that makes him smile. she's so tiny, too. "ya can't reach?"
toji takes his hand from the cart to gently pat miki's head (his hand is still so heavy that her knees almost buckle), making her whole face scrunch up in the cutest way possible. her brows furrow as she pushes his hand away with a tiny grumble. but toji doesn't miss the little, the teeniest tiniest, smile that's creeping onto her lips. he grazes his finger over her cheek in the most loving manner and gives her a wink.
"c'mon... i'll help ya."
at that her lips really do stretch into a grin, the corners of her eyes crinkling at her dad's antics before leading him to the bag of cereal that sits on the highest shelf. toji doesn't just hand it to her, nor does he place it into the cart – he wants her to do it. so, he raises her little girl as if she weighs nothing and grins when she lets out a loud giggle. she successfully grabs the bag and throws it into the cart as toji places her down. "where to next, hm?"
while she's staring at the list, toji feels fingers tugging on the hem of his jacket and when he looks down, he's met with a shy little gumi, who's hiding his face into his dad's thigh. a coo rests on the tip of toji's tongue but he let's out a quiet laugh instead.
"want dad to carry you?"
gumi gives him a nod and toji doesn't waste a second before bringing him up into his chest. gumi's face falls into the crook of toji's neck and he tilts his head to take a look at his son.
"tired already, little man?" he gives his nose a small boop and gumi nuzzles deeper into him. another pair of hands tug at him and he looks down at a very determined tsumiki.
"we still have to get the cheese and the ice cream."
"the ice cream? don't remember that being on the list..." toji cocks his head but she doesn't budge. she really is his daughter, huh?
"it is on the list. we need it." she raises her brows and toji knows not to argue. "yes?"
"yes, ma'am."
miki beams up at him and he knows he's simply unable to say no to that little girl. not now, not ever. nor can he say no to his little boy. he's going to give them everything they could ever possibly ask for, he will give them his all. they're his little blessings after all.
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anadiasmount · 5 months
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as time gets close - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: almost close to your due date, what is wrong with a late-night grocery trip with your very excited and anxiously waiting fiance?
wc: 1.8k | masterlist | jude's masterlist
psa 🗣️: a little dad! jude blurb bc we haven’t seen much of this on the timeline!! like always hope you enjoy 🤍
"why are you bending down? you know that is bad for you," you rolled your eyes at your fiance's scolding, grabbing the keys from the floor. "i dropped the keys by accident," you say as you pick the correct key that belonged to the lock. jude rubbed your belly, ensuring you were okay before helping you out to the car, the reusable bags tucked underneath his arm.
"did you bring the list?" you ask him seeing as he nods and pulls it out from the pockets of his hoodie. "i did. i also brought you some snacks because you didn't eat much after getting some nausea," you pouted your lips leaning up to peck his cheek thanking him. "what would i do without you?" you tease, a playful scoff falling from his lips.
"what makes you think you'd be without me? i'm attached to you for life remember?" he grabs your left hand kissing over your ring finger as he gives you a knowing look. you feel as he brings your intertwined hands to your belly, "and you're carrying my baby in there."
"really i couldn't tell," you say sarcastically.
"let's make it quick because my feet already hurt and i want to sleep," you advised letting out a tired yawn. despite being close to your due date, you still had some work to do before maternity leave. making calls to set meetings, attending them over zoom, filing paperwork, in charge of making sure the firm doesn't backfire, and planning some stuff out for your wedding.
jude had told you multiple times to take it easy, but placing that aside, he always helped you unconditionally. in the shower, when cooking, taking care of chores, before bed, and attending all your doctor's appointments. he was your personal midwife and wanted to take care of you the most he could.
you remembered to look on his face when you told him you were expecting, the tears on his face as he spoke to your barely bump all night and traced his hands on your belly. singing and humming lullabies and stories about his day. since then he wanted to protect you the best he could.
going to the grocery store at this time was nothing new, in fact, it became so prevalent now that you were pregnant because you craved everything. making jude do a late run to pick up your cravings or groceries for the upcoming weeks. the same store, at the same time.
you placed your purse on the cart, snuggling into your jacket as the cold air inside the store blew you away. you followed jude who picked out veggies and greens for his meal prepping, helping him tie the bags and weigh them on the digital scale that produced labels. you watched in awe as your boyfriend picked out three pairs of different flowers. "what are these for?" you asked, smelling the flowery scent.
"for the house. we need to replace the old ones that dried out," jude says with a shy grin. "you were the one who said plants and flowers bring a sense of home into our house, " jude recalled your words, kissing your temple, pushing the cart since it became a bit heavier. "i did say that didn't i? well i wasn't wrong," you shrug, wrapping a hand around his bicep as he trailed along isles to pick up the different items on the list.
he did all the heavy lifting as you reached and picked stuff up from your level, like spices and eggs. you turn your back for a few seconds to retrieve some milk and coffee beans for the morning, to see the cart filled with pop tarts and other salty snacks. "no no no," you shake your head, as jude whines out protests. "y/n we need them! they're even on sale!"
“jude, i don’t care! we just got some three days ago!,” you say laughing, putting back the box of pop tarts. “y/n i’m telling you right now, in a couple of hours or days you’re gonna have me running back here for them,” jude states following behind you.
“am not!” you quickly defend, bringing a hand to your aching back. “are too! last night you had me running out for cheetos. what’s it going to be today? kettled popcorn? or wingstop?” jude teased making you rolls your eyes and focusing back on to what needed to get done. “don’t forget we need to pick some of that acid reflex stuff for you, to get rid of the heartburn,” jude reminds you, taking the cart and walking out of the pop tarts isle, sneaking a box in for you.
“what’s left on the list?” you ask him, taking out a small snack you had in your purse and offering some to jude. “we need bananas, strawberries, orange juice, and meats for upcoming dinners…” jude reads the list one by one, using his index finger as he goes along.
you pass by an isle grabbing some cereal and granola for your yogurts and bowls. jude insisting he grabs his favorite too since you refuse to share from your part. as you wait by the deli section jude come behind you, grabbing your belly and relieving some of the pressure.
you immediately lay your head back on his shoulder sighing in relief, hearing jude chuckle and place a kiss on your head. “almost there darling,” he whispered running one of his hands along your tummy. “i know what you’re doing jude… and if this baby starts kicking right now i’ll leave you here,” you warn.
“i’m just trying to help you love. doesn’t it feel good?” he reprimanded as you nodded. “yes but not when she starts kicking, i swear she does it on purpose and it’s your fault. like she knows it you,” you said feeling your lower back less tense and heavy. "i kid you not, last night she almost made me pee from this hard kick!"
"sounds to me like we have a mini footballer coming into our lives," said jude continuing to hold your belly since you were tired and your baby was heavy. he had read the method online with other tips and tricks. jude got more into reading when he found out you were pregnant, wanting to know every effect and secret to ensure a healthy and safe pregnancy.
"let's hope not, i don't think i could handle cleaning up broken stuff around the house every day," you sigh, releasing yourself from his hold because you began to get hot. you didn’t understand how your body was so quick to adjust and then de-adjust from hot and cold, but it was so easy and it drove you mad sometimes.
“you okay?” jude softened his eyes as you let out a breath of despair, holding your hand and feeling a sit squeezed tightly against his. “yeah just got a mini cramp,” you held your back and practiced breathing methods you learned, “i’m good, i promise,” you kiss his hand before retrieving the meats from the butcher. "we'll get home soon, and i promise you a warm tea and massage okay?"
"did you want chocolate or strawberry milk?" jude held up the pint containers, "strawberry, we still have chocolate milk at home," you said, jude nodding as he quickly picked the orange juice and your favorite yogurts. "i was never a fan of sweet or flavored milk but these are soooo good," you exaggerated, jude smiling hard down at you.
"never a fan? these were my childhood as a kid! my mum used to buy these or the powder to make it ourselves," jude says recalling a old memory thinking of his babygirl. "you reckon she'll like them too?" jude spoke softly as he saw you give him a fast nod. if there was one thing loved it was discussing his babygirl. he was so anxious and wanted to meet her. the itch in his teeth getting bigger as every day passes.
to hold her while she slept, hug her to keep her warm, coddle her to sleep, feed her. he was ready for it all. he loved to shop and spoil her already. her carrier, crib, different books, toys, and stuffed animals like he had as a kid. she didn't know it yet, but she would be jude's second best friend. firstly you. always you.
they saw if one ever finds love at first sight, and jude definitely did with you. a smile so bright, eyes gleaming with happiness, a stranger who he fell madly with almost immediately after hearing her say hello. through ups and downs, you found your way to each other and since then, it's a love story for the movies. jude had his career blowing, a beautiful fiancee, and now a baby on the way. what more could he want?
as jude helped bag the groceries into the recycled bags you had, you paid and thanked the cashier whom you got close with on nights like these. asking how her day was, about her kids, anything special, always something to distract her. "you two have a safe night!" she yelled as you turned and thanked, wishing her a good night as well.
after you insisted on helping, you carried four light bags as jude carried most bags since he hated double trips. you guys quickly unpacked everything, longing and wishing to get into bed. you ensure the stove and other appliances are off, grabbing your tea and heading upstairs with jude.
"lay here for me," jude instructed, grabbing some cream and begging to smooth and massage out the muscles on your legs and shoulders. "after we have her, i promise i'll return every single thing you did for me while i was pregnant," you say struggled and full pleasure as the tension went away at jude's fingertips. "oh i'm fully expecting the injured boyfriend method again," jude teased as he finished up.
he grabbed a new book, laying on your side as you brushed and played with a few curls on his head, twirling them around your finger as he breathed softly. he looked so gentle and full of excitement like this, reading to your babygirl, who sensed her daddy's voice as she kicked. she knew, she always knew.
he applied your belly oil to prevent any stretch marks and kissed the small ones that formed along the way. jude cherished your body for carrying his baby in there, for being able to give and bring a new life into his and yours. you laid on your side, jude's chest connecting and fitting the crevasse on your back, holding your tummy as in a way to keep it safe.
you placed and locked hands with his, as jude wishing you a goodnight, peering kissed on your shoulders then finally lips, moaning in delight, a tiny groan leaving his lips. "i love you so much darling," he whispered, kissing your temple and snuggling into you more. "iloveyoutoojude," you said fast, with a playful smile on your lips as you felt a familiar sensation of a certain craving. "okay now i do want some pop tarts..."
"are you serious right now?"
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sttoru · 1 year
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toji taking care of newborn megumi while reader sleeps?
⟣ tags. dad!toji x female reader. fluff. gumi isnt rlly a newborn but we ball. use of curse words teehee
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“tch—i’m really regretting buyin’ this thing.” toji was running out of patience as he reads the instructions on the piece of paper in his hands. it was all so vague; he’s questioning himself for even trying to figure this stuff out in the first place.
the small coos and babbles coming from megumi sound throughout the living room, the baby sitting in the pillow fort that his dad made him. the correct name would actually be ‘pillow jail’, since the fort wasn’t built for megumi’s entertainment—it was mainly to keep the little boy confined so toji could peacefully work on setting up the playhouse.
your husband was so intensly focused on putting the playhouse together to the point that he didn’t even notice the little thief escaping his self-made jail.
megumi was crawling on his hands and knees, his palms making soft ‘pat’ sounds as they came in contact with the cold floor, pouty lips forming a smile as he crawled his way over to his dad. toji had his back facing megumi, giving the kid a good opportunity to sneak up on him.
“fuck.” toji curses idly as his hand slipped and his finger bumped against his own face. not thinking much about that slip-up, the man continues to put the parts together, until he feels something tugging at his shirt from behind.
toji glances down and spots his son trying to climb up on his back—the journey up to toji’s broad shoulders was like climbing a mountain for such a little thing.
“phack!” the cute voice from below repeats what it has heard with confidence. megumi used all of his strength to reach up to his dad’s shoulders, repeating the used swear word proudly, a series of ‘phack! phack! phack!’ echoing louder in toji’s ears with each movement upwards.
the kid eventually reaches his destination, head placed right next to toji’s, chubby arms circling around his dad’s neck—basically hanging on for dear life.
toji wasn’t even concerned about megumi repeating that bad word over and over. how his son had managed to break free from his confinement was of more importance. his green eyes land on the destroyed pillow fort behind his back and your husband couldn’t help but chuckle. almost proudly.
“i see y’re already outsmarting your dad, kiddo.” toji grins, one hand coming up to stabilise megumi on his back. the baby looks over his father’s shoulder, seemingly inspecting what he was building. toji sighs as his free hand holds onto the piece of paper that included the instructions; “maybe ya could’ve even helped me build this shitty thing if ya knew how to read.”
“sjiddy!”
it was as if megumi was purposely only picking out the curse words. toji chuckles at this and—unlike any other parent—encourages his child to continue for his own entertainment.
“mhm—tha’s right. repeat after me, son.” the dark-haired man nods with a smug grin and points at the half-built playhouse, making sure megumi knew what he was talking about, “that thing is shitty.”
“sjiddy! sjiddy!” the kid repeats loudly and giggles as his father ruffles his hair afterwards in a ‘job-well-done’ manner.
“good boy.” toji laughs softly, moving megumi over to his lap so it’d be more comfortable for the both of them, “y’r momma is gonna kill me if she hears you say such things, though.”
megumi tilts his head up until it rested against toji’s torso, big eyes glancing at the face hovering on top of his; “mama? mama ‘eepy.”
“no, mama isn’t.”
toji freezes in place, megumi gasps in delight. you had awoken from your nap and decided to check in on your husband and son whom you had left alone for a few hours.
and, apparently, you couldn’t leave toji and megumi alone without it ending in your kid picking up on his dad’s bad habits.
you put your hands on your hips and glared at toji. he knew what time it was and he was not about to sit through another lecture. the last time you gave him an earful, he had to sit and listen to you scold him for almost an hour.
“shit.. gotta run.” toji immediately grabs tightly onto megumi, gets up and prepares to flee—not even realising that he cursed. again.
“sjit!” megumi giggles happily, the boy just having fun as his dad runs around with him, unaware of the reason nor of the meaning behind the words he was repeating.
“mama shit!” toji’s eyes widened as he heard megumi combine the two words; mama—megumi’s favourite word—and shit, the bad word your son had just learnt.
your husband knew that that would only increase your fury more and thus shushes his kid while running around the house—your quick footsteps just meters behind them;
“crap. shut it, megumi.”
“crap! dada crap!”
“…”
guess he had it coming.
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moneymasnn · 2 years
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Right Timing | Charles Leclerc
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Notes: 11k words of Charles and y/n pinning for each other…your all (hopefully) going to love it xx
this is my first post in about 6 months and I'm so happy to be back! thank you all for the continuous love and support I fucking love this app. this fic hasn't been proof read but oh well, ignore some spelling mistakes, sorry. anyways... ENJOY!!!
Blurb: One where you have a huge crush on your best friend's brother, the one and only charles leclerc, since you were a teenager, with him continuously telling you he was too old for you and you had no chance. You eventually gave up hope and moved on. But did charles? (Best friends brother troop/ slight enemy’s to lovers troop/ Older boy and younger girl)
Warnings: lots of angst, crying, sad y/n and sad Charles. lots of arguments and slight nsfw? but not really. Small age gap.
11.1k words
Arthur leclerc, your best friend since nursery… Your favourite partner in crime, your favourite laugh on a bad day, your favourite person in the whole wide world. Best to be described as home, your comfort person. He was the voice within reason, all that was right in the world. 
He's your best friend.
Y/n y/l/n, she was truly and utterly his favourite thing about the world. He counts his lucky stars he has her to help him carry his weight. Y/n was the only person Arthur let visit him when his dad died, and in his books, that made her alright. Sure she would make him want to scream and cry and punch walls, especially with her choice in men. But Arthur was always there for her, when she needed to laugh or to cry he knew what it was she needed at any given moment, he could read her like she was his favourite book. 
She was his best friend. 
How it started:
A little girl with puffy red cheeks sat at the bottom of the nursery playground. Her legs crossed on the green summer time grass as she sniffled again, gently plucking a daisy for the ground before adding it to the daisy chain she was making. She liked to say she enjoyed her own presence, but truly she was distracting herself from the lack of company. With the other young girls teasing her for her wild curly hair, she willingly chose to be sat on the grass of the playground alone.
“Hey! Can you teach me how you did that? I wanna make one for my mum!”
And with no regard for her personal space he sat down next to her on the grass, squashing half of her daisy chain, but she didn't tell him that.
He didn't care that she was crying or that she had poofy hair or that she was even a girl, he was eager to learn her talents and carry on with his lunch break.
But when Arthur noticed the signs that the girl was rather shy and sad he thought he would stay with her for the rest of lunch, keep her company.
Little did she know this company wasn't going anywhere any time soon.
And at age five, the pair promised to be friends for life.
It didn't take long for them to get their mothers talking, and after that it was set in stone, playdate after playdate. Arthur's mum became your mum's hairdresser, so there were many nostalgic memories for the two in the salon, especially when y/n would accompany her mother to her appointments. The pair's best memory is y/n letting Arthur cut her hair in the storage cupboard of his mum's shop. The horror on both parents' faces when one of y/n's pig tails were held in the hand of the young boy.
Their friendship only bloomed from there…
After spending almost every weekend watching Arthur and his older brother race in karts in the rain, to spending most afternoons around the leclerc residence playing with Arthur on his xbox, the girl felt like family.
When she was young she always found herself drawn to the middle leclerc. He was away a lot of the time, karting. He was slightly older so no doubt he found the pair childish and would always moan when he was made to spend time with them.
Charles' mother was the first to figure out your little crush on the boy. She first noticed it when you joined the family on a winter skiing trip, you were around thirteen. It was your first time up in the mountains, so when your arms started to wave and you felt your body lean way too far back Charles did the only morally right thing, dropping the glove he was putting on and outstretching his body to catch you in time.
He didn't catch you in time. 
Instead his heroic act to save you turned into humiliation when he realised you had taken him down with you.
Pascal carefully watched as you turned around, her eyes glued to yours that were glued to her sons. She watched your tinted red cheeks as Charles scoffed and begged you to get off of him as his bare hands were now engulfed in the thick snow, causing him to suffer with a cold for the rest of the holiday.
Your eyes widened and sparked at the sight of him. You would gaze up at him like he hung the moon and the stars, an expression his mother would soon get used to as she watched you fall for her son over the next few years. 
Charles was older, and very uninterested. He didn't find your little crush as cute as everyone else did, the thought it made him look uncool. He would roll his eyes when you would grab his arm or duck when you would try to kiss his cheek. He hated when your families would go out for meals and you would sit next to him, or how you would call him after a race to congratulate him, no matter his result.
Charles always saw you as his little brother's best friend, nothing more and nothing less.
That was until your first boyfriend. A three year age gap wasn't that big of a deal as they all grew older. Charles found himself having mutual friends with his brother and would occasionally bump into Arthur and you at a party.
You were 16, you thought you had met the love of your life, an older boy, he was 18, around charles age who was now 19 and worming his way into f2. 
Arthur didn't approve of Joao. He knew you were trying to prove to charles that the age gap isn't that big of a deal after his brother had repetitively told you you were to young for him, but somewhere down the line you found yourself mesmerised by Joaos eyes and that was it for you, charles no longer rented the forefront of your mind.
Joao was great, at first. You knew he wasn't the love of your life, but for the moment he looked to play the role quite well, and you were happy. You just didn't expect it to end like it did, maybe age gaps do matter?
You were at some house party in the hills of monaco, some friend of Joaos. You were downstairs in the kitchen with Arthur as he watched you drink your body weight in alcohol. He could tell something was bothering you but he chose not to mention it. In all your years of friendship he knew you would come to him eventually. 
“Where is the lover boy anyway?” he spoke up.
Your lack of response is when Arthur clocked onto your boyfriend being the reason for your excessive drinking. Him ditching you, yet again.
You slammed down your empty red cup, wiping the dribble from your chin as you decided enough was enough and you looked for the presence of your boyfriend. 
Arthur bid you good luck on your travels as his attention was now turned to the girl he had been eyeing up across the room.
And with your liquid courage you stumbled around the party. The house was huge. Gigantic windows that draped around the whole house. Everywhere you looked was so picturesque, making you fall in love with Monaco more and more. From the kitchen window you could see the river of lights leading down to the beach front. From the other end you could see continuous hills leading up into the stary sky, tiny specs of light from homes probably just as big and fancy as the one you were currently standing in swarmed your vision, a far cry from the apartment you and your mother shared where your view was a brick wall to another apartment complex.
Your heels were rubbing the back of your ankles as your hands gripped the bottom of your dress pulling it down as it was miles too short as you made your way out to the garden.
And there he sat, on the steps leading to the lit up outdoor pool, your boyfriend. A skinny little blonde girl sat on his knee. She was older than you, clearly. She took the cigarette from his lips and placed it on her own as her other arm draped over his shoulder. It was like this week after week, it was like you were a ghost.
This isn't the young love you put out for, and you decided enough was enough.
You always forgave him, but tonight was different. This night changed everything.
Tears welled in your eyes as you turned back into the house, you were going home. Joao caught a glimpse of this as he jumped up and followed you back into the house, why he would always chase after you you still don't know.
“Y/n, baby stop.” you ignored the sound of his voice as you pushed through the crowds of people to get back to the kitchen in hopes that Arthur was still there. He wasn't.
You made it to the kitchen before he grabbed the back of your arm pushing you against the kitchen island. His hand came up to wipe away a fallen strand of hair as he tucked it behind your ear.
“Come on y/n i didn't even do anything-”
“She was on your lap.” your voice crooked, you so desperately didn't want to be the little girl everyone thought you was and cry, not in front of everyone anyway. 
“It's not that big of a deal-”
“It is that big of a deal! I'm humiliated!” you shouted back, creating a scene you so desperately wanted to avoid.
“I just- I just want to go home.” you said in between sniffles.
“Baby, don't cry, let's just go back to mine, okay? I'll call a taxi-”
“No, I want to go home, my home.” you begged, the tears were falling now.
His grip tightened around your arm as you tried to wriggle out of his grasp.
“I need to find Arthur, and I need to go home.” you said, pushing his arm as he still had you pinned against the counter.
“Oh come on y/n, drop the act you know you want to come back to mine.”
You threw your head back dodging his fingers that were trying to touch your hair again, avoiding his eyes.
“Joao let go, you're hurting me.”
That only made his grip tighten around your arms, pushing you against the counter even harder than before. As he leant down to your ear-
“She said let go mate.”
Your vision was too blurry to focus on what happened next, but you felt joao grip loosen as he stood back.
“Yeah and what are you gonna do about it, leclerc?”
That's when punches were thrown and Joao was hunched over holding his busted lip. Joao was grabbed by another person before he could lunge back at who you assumed was Arthur, but as you turned your head you saw a different leclerc shaking his hand. His knuckles were red, and his eyes were darker than the ones you were used to, charles.
“y/n get in the car.” he said, you stood up, sniffing and nodding your head. But then you remembered your missing friend.
“Arthur-”
“I'll get him. Get in the car.” his tone was strong, not what you were used to from the middle leclerc. 
You waited by his car in the cold for a few moments just before Charles came out the house, a stumbling tipsy Arthur under his arm. There was pink lip gloss smeared over his cheeks and lips, and at that moment you felt a small smile creep on your face. 
However, the car ride home was silent, you sat in the front with Charles, as Arthur passed out in the back seat. Faint french music played from the radio as charles eyes were firmly gripped on the road.
As you rounded the street to your home Charles finally spoke up, “You really know how to pick them.”
You sniffled again, unable to reply to him mainly because he was right and you were embarrassed. As the car came to a stop Charles undid his seat belt mumbling that he would walk you to your door.
He balanced on the back of his heels as he watched the moonlight highlight your tear stained cheeks. Charles thought you looked beautiful that night even though you had been crying for the last half an hour, your hair hadn't been brushed and you were rummaging through your purse like a mad woman, he still thought you were pretty. He would never tell you that though.
“Don't tell me you've lost-”
“Got them!” You giggled, shaking your keys in the air before whipping your nose for what felt like the fifth time that night. You stalled as you pushed the key in the door, turning to look Charles in his eye for the first time since the party.
“Thank you-” but he cut you off, not wanting to hear it. You were his brother's best friend, Arthur wouldn't forgive him if he ever watched you in a position like the one that night and didn't do anything.
“Dont.”
“No really, thank you, charles.” You smiled, Charles smiled too, mainly because it was probably the first time you had called him Charles and not charlie.
After a moment you dropped your bag on the floor and wrapped your arms around the boy's waist, your head rested on his chest as he hastily moved his hand and rubbed your back.
“Just make sure the next one isn't a total dick, okay?” he whispered, his chin placed on the top of your head.
He didn't know how much that sentence broke your little 16 year old heart.
You smiled and entered the house, Charles didn’t drive off that street before you waved at him out your window.
On the drive home we looked back at his younger brother, drooling on the back seat of his car. 
It was that night where he realised the both of you weren't all that different, but so far apart.
The first time Charles saw you after that night was a couple months later, a family day at the beach. You had turned seventeen in that time and joao was old news. But charles eyes were stuck on your body as he watched you sat in the sand on your own. Sipping from a bottle of beer that you most likely stole from his crate, your toes were dipped in the wet sand as you watched the sun set on your own.
Arthur had brought his new girlfriend with him and even though you were still as close as ever, Arthur's attention was stuck on the pretty blonde that was talking to his nan.
The rest of your families were distracted too, or so Charles thought. His mum watched him intently as he walked back to the car park, grabbing a spare jumper from his car before making way down the beach front to join you.
He spent so much of his life avoiding you, but after the night of the party he just wanted to make sure you were okay. 
He crouched down in the sand next to you, aware of how your eyes were on him. He placed the jumper on your legs,
“You're going to get a cold.”
You scoffed but complied. Putting the jumper over your head and pulling at the sleeves, it smelled like him.
“How are you?” you asked charles, he could feel your eyes staring into his side profile, but he stared at the sun setting over the monegasque sea.
“I'm okay.”
The boys lost their dad a little under a year ago now, you hadn't really seen Charles since. But he knew you hadn't left Arthur's side for them few months.
“How you holding up, really?” you nudged his shoulder with yours, he did his little signature smile before looking down at his lap. Avoiding the question.
“Thank you. For looking after Arthur I mean, he's lucky to have you.” 
“Charlie…”
He looked in your eyes this time, he looked so sad, so broken. So desperate for a hug. You didn't pressure him to answer your question, insted you gently placed your head on his shoulder looking along the coastline in silence.
Charles appreciated the silence and the way you didn't push him, moments like these he understood why Arthur loved you so much.
“It will be alright you know.” you hummed on his shoulder.
“I know.” Charles whispered back.
“Really, i can already see Charles leclerc, ferrari formula one driver. Your face will be all over Monaco, and we're all so proud. He'll be so proud.” 
Charles hated how much you believed him, because in that moment a nineteen year old boy with dreams bigger than the world itself everything felt impossible. 
“Don't forget about me when you're all big and famous, yeah?” you smiled up at him.
Charles looked down at you, his eyes were glossy but the smile on his lips was enough to melt your heart, he threw his head back in a laugh. 
“I dont think I'm ever getting rid of you.”
Now it was your turn to laugh, “at least your self aware charlie.”
After all the laughing he noticed how your eyes shifted from his own to his lips, and then he remembered why he was avoiding you in the first place.
“y/n..” he whispered, oh how he whispered your name in his little broken accent, your heart melted as he backed away.
“I know, I know.”
You smiled and placed your head back on his shoulders looking at the sun that was nearly gone.
“You know I'm too old for you, right?” Charles whispered as he leaned his head on yours that was resting on his arm.
“I'm in it for the long game leclerc.” Charles giggled as he let his cheek get comfy on your head, pushing his side into you as you fully watched the sun disappear over the sea.
On the night of your 18th birthday Arthur had taken you out to your first club, you drank, alot…
Charles happened to be at the same club, so when your drunk body collided with his you couldn't help but wrap your arm around his torso, clinging onto him.
He gently placed hand on the small of your back smiling as you leaned on him.
Charles was 20 now, soon to turn 21 and had just signed a contract with alfa romeo, he was officially in formula one. Even Though you were proud of him you missed having him around. 
You stood on your heels, leaning up to his ear as Charles met your movements and bent down to hear you better in the loud club and your heart fluttered at the small action of his ear hovering near your face.
“I'm eighteen now charlie.” he could hear the smile in your voice.
“I know, happy birthday mon amour.” kissing your forehead, this was the closest you had ever been to him before, and you craved more. He had never called you the nickname before, he was teasing you.
“I'm officially an adult nowwwww.” you longed out his ear before you hand palmed his cheek. You so desperately wanted to kiss him.
“Y/n.” His tone was serious as he caught onto your intentions.
“Y/nnn.” You teased him back, imitating his serious tone and rolling your eyes as you do so.
“I know you want to Charlie, come on…” you giggled at him, but you were drunk and a mess, so the arm around your waist was to stop you from falling flat on your arse not because he just wanted to touch you, you thought. You pushed his hand off you and stood up straight, Charles sighed as he placed his hand back on the small of your back, you looked up at him. The stupid little puppy dog eyes that he refused to listen to.
“I'm too old for you, love.” Charles' hand once again held you close as you started to lose your balance again, “and you're too drunk.”
“Drunk on love.” you exclaimed, Charles laughed, like really laughed and you couldn't help but admire the creases around his eyes. He moved your arm over his shoulder so he could hold you up.
“Let's find Arthur and get you home, okay?” but as Charles pulled away you pulled him back.
“I've waited eighteen years, Charlie, I'm sure I have the patience to wait a bit longer.”
Charles thought maybe you had forgotten that night, but you remembered the way his hand was filmy stuck to the small of your back most of the night, and how he lent down to hear you and how his stubble felt in the palm of your hand, and the butterflies only got worse. 
You were falling harder everyday and you hated yourself for it, he didn't like you back.
Charles carried on with his f1 career with alfa romeo that year and you took up a journalism degree, following around arthur as he navigated the world of f3. You would occasionally bump into Charles when the boys had races at the same circuit. 
But with his first Monaco race you obviously had to be there to support him.
Charles hated how his heart beat boomed in his ear when he saw you standing in his garage with your old ferrari cap on and an alfa romeo shirt with the number 16 on the back hugging your chest. 
You truly had blossomed into a beautiful young woman and Charles found it harder to stay away. Your hair isn't frizzy anymore and you had for sure gone through puberty, he didn't like to stare but he found it hard not to sometimes. Especially on family boat trips when you would wear a bikini in front of him.
The worst part is you hadn't even openly flirted with him in a while, and he couldn't seem to figure out why, and that bothered him so much more than he liked. 
The small little y/n that used to follow him everywhere, always latched to his arm, looking up at him with heart eyes. I mean, you weren't sixteen anymore that was sure, but Charles couldn't help but feel a sense of abandonment that you weren't head over heels for him anymore. 
Charles needed to snake off that weird feelling in his stomach.
You were now 19 about to turn 20, it was the off season and you couldn't wait to soak up some sun on the leclerc yacht. Your favourite summer getaway.
You drove up to the small paddock on a little beach and climbed onto the grey boat, it was charles’, of course. The whole family was there, you were talking to pascal as arthur pulled you around the side of the boat, nearly causing you to break an ankle.
“Erm hello? Watch it.” you scolded him for pulling you so ruffly.
“You're over the whole in love with my older brother thing, right?” he asked, his hand running through his hair.
“I- i why?” you said, clocking your head to the side at Arthurs panicked manor. He knew you had been doing great this year, and he also knew why you declined every single boy that had attempted to ask you out on a date this year. 
“Okay, erm,'' Arthur stood up straight and scratched the back of his head.
“Forget your stuff, let's just get off this boat. And er, don't turn around okay?” he tried to nonchalantly say, his hands gripping your shoulders were a dead give away something was wrong though.
You nodded your head and followed Arthur down the steps of the boat before stopping in your tracks.
“Since when have I ever listened to you? I going to read my book on the sun-”
Your mouth fell open as you turned around to be met with Charles, your Charles with a girl.
A pretty girl, beautiful actually, she was slim and perfect and her smile was enough to make you want to crumble in a ball. 
She was leaning on him, grabbing his bicep as her hand brushed through his hair, he was laughing like really and truly laughing at whatever it was she had to say and you had never felt emotions like the ones you felt in that moment.
You felt like he had personally ripped your heart out himself, no remorse, and had just served it back to you on a silver platter.
He really didn't want you. 
“y/n, i didn't even know he was bringing her i-”
“You knew?”
Arthur sighed before running his hands through his hair, “it's been around four months, mum really likes her, she's nice. I mean she's not you, but he's happy so i can't complain.'' Arthur shrugged his shoulders, not sure how to console you in that moment.
You turned away from the happy couple and sat on the small steps that lead down to the bottom of the yacht. Arthur sat down next to you, pulling your body into his as he wrapped his arm around you.
“What about me? When will I be happy?”
You hadn't realised you were crying until Arthur grabbed your arm and pulled you straight off the boat.
That was your wake up call, you had spent too much of your life waiting for someone that never wanted you. 19 years to be exact, a sad sad story to anyone that knew you. You were embarrassed and angry at yourself. 
You needed to actually move on. 
So that's what you did.
And that's when you met him, a young british boy, he was around your age and drove for a papaya team that shared the f1 grid with charles.
Lando norris.
He was 20, awkward, way too cocky for only his second year, and when you bumped into him in Bahrain of 2020 you chose him to be the one to make you move on.
He asked for your number a few races later and the two of you used to text all the time. He took you on cute picnic dates, asked if he could kiss you before he did, and overall was the kindest most respectful boyfriend a girl could ask for. You were actually happy, and it only took nineteen years.
It was imola when you bumped into Charles in the paddock, his brother wasn't here so he was confused as to why you were here, but then he saw the McLaren hat on your head and his eyebrows furred evenmore.
“y/n?”
“Hello, charles.” you gave him a tight lip smile before moving past him but he chased after you why you walked down the paddock strip. Past the ferrari garage.
“You're a McLaren fan now, huh?” 
“Yep.”
Charles' heart hurt at your bluntness, he grabbed your arm so you would stop walking and talk to him. 
“y/n.” serious charles. That stupid tone that usually made you freeze and obey whatever he had to say.
But this time you rolled your eyes and pulled your arm from his grip.
“Charles, I really have to be somewhere.” you lied, checking your watch.
“Like a journalism thing? Why didn't you tell me you were going to be here, you could have flown with me and Joris?” and Charlotte, but he didn't mention that.
You really tried to pull your eyes from the red drivers suit that was wrapped around his hips, he was a ferrari driver now and you had never been more happy for him. You just wanted to wrap your arms around him and tell him how proud you were of him. 
But right at this moment, you had never wanted to create more distance between you both.
“y/n?” 
Both of your heads snapped as Lando ran up to you, you coughed and took a step back from charles.
Landos arm wrapped around your shoulder as he put out a fist for Charles to spud. Charles' eyes were glued to landos arm resting on your shoulder and he could feel the blood pumping in his heart speeding up.
Lando kissed your temple and Charles' eyes were glued to yours. 
“Charles.” Lando smiled nodding his head.
“Lando.'' Charles' voice was laced with venom, not that Lando noticed. 
“So you guys are?” Charles' eyebrows furred pointing between you both.
“We havent you know, labelled it yet. It's still kind of new” you smiled, it had been months.
“But I'm happy, really happy.” Charles knew that was a message to him, you were happy and he needed to leave you be. But with Lando of all people, Charles couldn't seem to shake this one off.
Charles mumbled something about needing to be somewhere and walked away from you both. Lando again oblivious to the interaction as his arm stayed secured around you and he balabbed on about the race as you walked to the McLaren motorhome.
Charles hated him. 
Charles hated himself for his feelings.
He didn't know why he was so bothered, he had never been this bothered, nothing gotten to him like you and Lando just did. Joris told him maybe it was because he had a soft spot for you deep down, he joked that maybe Charles liked you back and Charles ignored him for the rest of the weekend at that accusation. But that didn't mean he didnt ignore his words. 
It was over, you grew up and he should feel relieved you've moved on, right?
He broke up with Charlotte a month later.
Charles scoffed when you first bought lando along to family night, he hated how your mum loved his accent and how arthur laughed at all his jokes. He hated that he hadn't caught your eye all night, instead your eyes were glued on the stupid little british boys. Charles hated it, he sat there like a toddler that hadn't gotten their own way all night. He knew it was wrong but he hated his feelings more than he hated lando being sat at his table.
Charles was in the kitchen, he was picking at the leftover pie on the table top as everyone else was outside fawning over one of landos stories, he had really charmed the family.
His mother walked into the kitchen as he was taking a bite of cherry pie looking like a caught child, she laughed at the cherry stains in the corner of his mouth and passed him a tissue.
The pair stood in silence for a moment before Pascal spoke up.
“That's definitely not allowed in your diet, my sweet.” she smirked knowing the driver's strict diet.
“But you won't tell on me maman.” Charles flashed his puppy dog eyes as his mum laughed at his actions. She sighed and moved closer to him as he stood up straight. 
“You have a lot on your mind my boy, and don't tell me you don't because I gave birth to you, I know you better than you know yourself.”
“Maman.” Charles sighed.
“This is about her isn't it?” Charles' eyes refused to look at his mother at her words.
“I don't even need to say her name, it's her, it will always be her.” she smiled as she walked over to her son and placed a hand on his cheek.
“She's happy, Charles.'' he heard the sternness in his mothers voice.
“So everyone keeps telling me.” Charles scoffed again.
“So then you know you're being an ass, right?”
Charles' eyes widened at his mothers language but she just laughed and waved him off.
“After all the years she spent pining after you, Charles, it would be cruel for you to not let her be happy.”
“But what if I'm not happy?” he asked his mum, she just sent him a sympathetic smile and grazed his cheek once more.
“Do you love her?”
“I dont know.” Charles shrugged.
“See, it would be cruel to break her heart over this kind of uncertainty. Either you love her or you're just jealous. You have a lot of thinking to do my boy, but don't do anything until you're really sure. She's fragile when it comes to you.”
Charles nodded his head.
His mum was right, he really did have a lot of thinking to do. 
And as if on queue there she was, walking into the kitchen, the widest smile on her face as she grabbed another beer from the fridge. She had started to let her curls rome free recently and it was sending charles’ heart into a spiral, with her stupid little shorts and crocs and no doubt she had conned lando into giving her his jumper. 
She used to do that to him, Charles thought, remembering all the times you had tricked him into stealing his hoodies. 
She smiled at Charles mum and told her again that the food was lovely, nodding at Charles, and she left just as quick as she came in.
“Maman, I'm so in love with her it physically hurts me.”
And there it was, the words you had so desperately wanted to hear your whole life, but you didn't hear a sound as Charles vowed to never say it again out loud. Your happiness came before his.
Charle suffered for a year, he knew he loved you, he had said it out loud once and the vulnerability he felt in that moment knowing you were stood just 15 feet away with the boy you were in love with was enough to make him swear to never voice his feelings again, he was embarrassed and wanted the world to swallow him whole. The worst part was the guilt, he could only feel like he had let one of the best things go, slip straight from his grasp all for a bit of pride. He didn't want to be seen with the young naive girl that had a crush on him, but now he just felt stupid. Stupid that he didn't recognise your love for him sooner, he had always thought you were one of the most amazing humans he had ever met, he found himself looking for you in other people when he didn't even know it. He was stupid, and he knew that for sure.
Charles dedicated the rest of the year to focusing on his f1 seat, with ferrari fucking him and sebastian over and over and after his wins at spa and monza he felt hungry for more and felt that the true love of his life should be formula one.
But his heart hurt when he didn't hear from you after his win in spa, and then it crushed him again when you didn't contact him after his result at monza.
No call.
Not even a text.
He had fully let you slip from his grasp.
It was a long year for Charles that year, and as summer break quickly approached he found girls and training were his favourite pastime. He stopped turning up to family events when he knew lando would be there and you were in love and happy. After a while it was a rarity he would even stay at an event for an hour.
He was 22 and as a new season started the only thing he was talking from lando was his teammate, not that charles was complaining. He liked Carlos, and he was ready to step up and take that 1st driver's seat. He was ready to make everyone proud just like you had promised him that night on the beach.
After a while charles mothers birthday rolled around, one he would definitely not miss as his mother requested a small family meal. Everyone was sitting, looking over the menu when Charles undoubtedly noticed the missing presence of you.
“Where's y/n?” Charles asked Lorenzo, who was sitting next to him.
Lorenzo just shrugged and turned his attention back to his menu, was it normal for you to not attend family outings? Charles hadn't been around for so long he didn't even think to consider that maybe she didn't turn up to these things anymore either.
“With Lando I suppose.” Charles murmured, he tried not to sound jealous but the older brother just laughed.
“Lando?” as he turned to his younger brother.
“Why would she- you really haven't spoken to her have you?” Lorenzo asked, his eyes widening at the thought of his brother being so dumb.
Charles just shrugged his shoulders as he urged his brother to continue.
“They broke up, a while ago actually.”
Charles didnt know why his shoulders felt lighter but he chose to ignore it and try to press some more information out of his brother.
“So? First break up, we've all been there, doesn't mean she can't be here for mamans birthday.'' Charles rolled his eyes as he tried to act like he didn't care.
“She's not even in the country charles.”
Charles' head snapped towards his brothers, “She's taking a gap year, last I heard she was staying in Australia for a while.”
Lorenzo could see the gears turning in charles’ head; he knew he wanted to ask more so he answered for him.
“Hey Arthur, where's y/n these days?” Lorenzo asked his other brother who was at the other end of the table with his girlfriend.
Arthur shrugged before answering, “Still in australia at the moment, she really likes it there, but i told her she cant like it to much because there's no way i'm sitting on a plane for twelve hours every time i want to actually see her face and not on a phone screen.” arthur joked, everyone else laughed along with him for a moment until charles countered up the courage to speak up.
“Why didn't she just travel with formula one? She wanted to be an F1 journalist anyway.”
Arthur's eyes narrowed at his brother. 
You definitely hadn't meant to cause it, but there was a small crack in between the brothers' relationship within the last year. Arthur definitely blamed Charles and his stupid effects on you for you running away.
“She wanted to be away from f1 for a while.'' Arthur told his brother like it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world, hoping to squash this table subject, not really wanting to talk about his run away best friend.
“I mean I don't blame her, especially when her Lando ended like it did. She's living her best life.” Carla, Arthurs girlfriend chimed in. Arthur slightly winced at his girlfriend's words not wanting this to be the dinner conversation tonight, especially when Charles clearly knew nothing about y/n's life within the last year.
“What?'' Charles asked the table, but no one answered him, instead everyone's heads were down dead planted down at the table, everyone except for Carla who had no idea what she had just started.
“Why did no one tell me what's been going on?” charles raised his voice slightly, catching the attention from everyone else on the table.
Charles mother intervened knowing where this was going, “charles, not right now-”
“No, she's been going through something and no one even thought to mention it? What the fuck.”
Arthur was visibly turning red, Charles noticed as Lorenzo's head was shaking telling his little brother now wasn't the time, pleading Arthur to just bite his tongue.
“Say it arthur.”
The flame was lit.
“And who do you think upset her in the first place, charles?” Arthur tutted, picking up his menu pretending to scan it so he didn't have to pay attention to the conversation anymore.
“Drop it, arthur.” Lorenzo sternly interrupted.
“Considering no ones told me anything how the fuck am i supposed to answer that question?” Charles spat back at his brother.
Arthurs cheeks were a visible red now, he was about to blow up. Something he had been holding in for a while. He slammed his menu down and turned to look at his older brother.
“You know what Charles, you have no right! No fucking right, sorry maman for the language-” charles mum just put her hands up in defence as she let her youngest son get it all off his chest. 
“She loved you, and you constantly broke her heart and told her no and then when she was finally happy in a relationship you had to go tell the world you love her so much that ‘it physically hurts you!” Arthur mugged his brother's words.
Charles was shocked, he had no idea what was happening. 
No one knew of his feelings towards you, no one except- charles head snapped towards his mother who pulled a tight lip smile and just shaked her head in a no. Charles was about to deny deny deny when-
“Yeah, she heard it. And it fucking broke her charles. It was mean and it was selfish, and I've never despised someone more than you for what you did to MY best friend.”
“Arthur-”
“I'm not finished. Then you have the decency to finally come to a family meal for the first time in nearly a year, nearly a year charles! And ask about her like you didn't completely cut her and us out of your life? You're selfish, completely and utterly selfish charles.”
Charles sat at the table pale, he felt the colour drain from his face as he scrambled to find the words to say but his mouth didn't open.
“You really do pick and choose your moments brother, I don't know why I even came tonight, I'm sorry maman but I told you I wouldn't be able to sit in a room with him.”
Arthur stood up, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and took Carla's hand in the other.
“I'm really sorry maman, and everyone else, happy birthday, i guess.” Arthur gave his mother a hug and walked out of the restaurant with carla. Leaving everyone else at the table in pure shock.
Especially Charles, he had know idea what to say, he looked up at his mother opposite him who looked at him with sympathy.
“My sweet boy, I'm sorry to say it but there was some truth to your brother's words. I told you she was fragile.”
Charles felt awful.
Charles felt like he was going to cry at the table.
It had been a long year for Charles, he had groveld for the most of it, thinking you were happy somewhere while Lando flew you anywhere and everywhere around the world. Now he came to think of it, maybe there was a better reason for the young mclaren driver avoiding him.
He wasn't really friends with Lando, but his teammate, Carlos was close with the boy and whenever there was an offer for the three of them to hang out Lando magically had something come up and couldn't attend. 
It all made sense now. Even the fact he hadn't seen you in the paddock, he thought maybe you were caught up in your studies, oh how he was wrong.
He sat at the table for the rest of the meal, and with every passing comment he didn't think he could sink more into his chair.
He was an awful person, he thought.
When the family were leaving the restaurant Charles hugged his family members, swallowing the anxiety and embarrassment down.
He looked over at Lorenzo who sent him a sympathetic smile, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Tonight wasn't supposed to go like that, i told arthur to just drop it i-”
“No, it's okay. I deserved it.”
“I dont know, you fucked up, but you didnt need to run, nether did she.'' Lorenzo, his older brother shrugged.
“What happened? With her and lando." Charles pushed.
“alot .” lorezono chucked.
“I don't know if it's my place to-” enzo sighed at that stupid little puppy dog face his younger brother was pulling.
“I'm pretty sure she cheated on him, Arthur said as she fell into a bit of a hole. So the only thing she really could do was just leave Monaco for a while. She seems good, Charles, healthy and happy." Lorenzo shrugged, watching as Charles' eyes widened and he latched onto every word. 
“If it's any closure she's not mad at you, Arthur, well I'm sure he would be he loves y/n like a twin sister, but she's not mad at you. She was just confused and hurt.”
“If i call her-'' Charles started but his voice flattened as he realised it would ne dumb to contact you.
“Call her Charles, I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you.”
You knew what today was, arthur's molthers birthday. You had called her in the morning sending her your love and wishes, she told you that Charles was attending the meal and Arthur would be on his best behaviour, little did you know.
You wondered if Charles knew what you were up to, if pascal or lorenzo had been keeping him in the loop.
You were at the beach, cocktail in hand and book in the other, your earphones were in as you hummed to the faint sound of the music and read, but you were disturbed when the rigging was a call from your phone echoing through your earphones, charles.
Pick it up.
Pick it up.
You couldn't do it.
Your body froze in place, you pulled your airpods out, throwing down your book, not caring that you lost the page you were on. You took in a deep breath and picked up your phone, and just as your thumb hovered over the answer button, the ringing stopped.
He had called you?
You needed a moment to think about what you were going to say to him, what he would say.
You so desperately wanted to hear his voice, it had been a year, and you wondered if that was enough time for feelings to vanish.
You looked out at the calm seas for a moment, did you really want to fall back into a loop of pining for him like a puppy. You loved him, loved, past tense. You were a grown woman now, so you opened your phone and called him back.
Ringing.
“Hello?” his voice echoed through the phone.
“Charles?”
You heard his sigh of relief over the phone, and your heart melted all over again, he hadn't even spoken yet, but the closeness of his presence made it all too real.
“I'm sorry.”
He's sorry?
“Charles-”
“I'm sorry, okay. Arthurs right, I was mean and I was selfish and you deserved so much more than what I did to you. From the bottom of my heart y/n/n, I'm so so incredibly sorry.”
“It's- it's okay.” 
You forgave him.
“It's not.”
There was a silence that lingered for a moment.
“What I said, what you heard, it wasn't supposed to happen like that. I really didn't want it to happen that way.” he pleaded over the phone, his breathy voice echoing through the speaker.
“I want to see you.”
More silence.
“Please, y/n.”
“Okay.”
More silence.
“Soon, okay.” There was promise to your words.
“Soon.” he repeated, as though it was something for him to hold onto. 
Soon.
“When I'm ready Charles I'll come home, I'm just not ready yet.” you winced at your own words because you so desperately wanted to see him too.
“Then don't come home- i'll come to you, i'll catch the next plane if i have too just tell me where you are-”
“Charles, I'm not ready yet.” you interrupted him. 
Silence.
Charles wanted to cry, hearing your voice and knowing you were just within reach he wanted to see you, hold you, apologise as much as you would allow him to. He wanted to kiss you and hug you and love you forever, but you weren't ready.
“I'll wait for you, okay? Soon or not.” his voice cracked, and god did it melt your heart.
“I'll see you soon charlie.”
This was feeling a little too much like a goodbye for charles.
“y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“Am I too late?’
“Time doesn't apply when it comes to you.” and Charles had hope. He hadn't fully let you slip, yet.
Charles would now spend every waking moment wondering how soon was soon?
But after a while he figured ‘soon’ was a little long, three more months to be precise.
You had left Australia, travelled around more like you wanted to, and you came back to Monaco just before the end of the f1 season.
Charles was already in Abu Dhabi by the time you landed back in monaco.You had asked everyone to not tell him of your arrival.
You were sitting with Arthur in his mothers living room, just like the old days. You told him about your travels while he updated you on his love life and gossip in the paddock.
You had missed this.
And it wasn't until pascal passed you a warm cup of tea and sat with the two of you, sharing her own gossip from the hair salon you realised how much you were ready to be home again.
Arthur had run to his room quickly to grab his trophies to show you and as he walked out of the room your eyes lingered on the suitcases by the door.
“You're going to Abu dhabi?” you asked pascal.
“Tomorrow.” she smiled at you.
Pascal could visibly see the gears turning in your head, she placed a hand on your knee and smiled up at you.
“I don't want to pressure you y/n, and i know you just got back but you should consider it.”
You knew what she meant and you nodded at her with a small smile, and Arthur came back.
You went home a few hours later and sat in your room, if you go you'll see him, but you're going to see him at some point regardless. 
You felt vulnerable.
So completely scared, but that didn't stop you from texting Arthur that night telling him you were going to join him and his family tomorrow.
You were going to see him.
Your time was up.
You were ready.
You meet up with the leclerc family at the airport in the early hours of the morning, your suitcase gripped in your hand as you were mentally preparing yourself to sit on the plane and go over any and every possible outcome this weekend could have.
Arthur sat with Carla at the front, and Pascal was fast asleep. But the chair next to you suddenly became occupied when you looked up and saw the eldest leclerc.
“You look well, y/n.” he smiled down at you.
“Thank you.” you smiled back at lorenzo.
“I think the time away did you good, no?”
“yeah, i really needed some space, but now i'm back and just feeling a little..” you stumbled on your words, struggling to describe your emotions.
“Overwhelmed?”
“Yeah, exactly that.”
“Does he know you're coming?” you knew the ‘he’ lorenzo was referring too.
“I dont think so.”
“He's going to be happy to see you.” lorenzo nudged your shoulder.
“I hope so.” you nervously chucked.
You took in a deep breath and looked back at the eldest leclerc brother, “I'm just anxious, I have no idea how this weekend will pan out. The next time I'll be back on this plane going home I could be happy, sad, crying or planning to run away again. I just feel so lost.”
“Lost isn't a bad thing.'' Lorenzo shrugged.
“He's just as lost as you y/n, trust me. I just hope you both figure it out, you both deserve the peace of mind. And if this all goes to shit, you still got on this plane today and tried.”
“I just don't want to get my hopes up.”
“Then don't, sometimes things aren't just meant to be.”
That's what was worrying, you had loved this man for years, and now was the deciding day if he loved you back or not and you don't know if you were ready to give up the fantasy of him
being the love of your life up yet.
You weren't mentally prepared for the shit outcome of this story, you didn't know if you could handle Charles breaking your heart another time.
When the plane landed and the warm air hit your skin you took in a deep breath. Time to face the music.
You went straight to your hotel, it was a Friday so Charles was about to participate in fp1 by the time you turned up to the track.
The smell of burnt rubber and the sound of happy fans filled your ears, you had missed being in the paddock more than you knew. This place was your home.
You were walking with Arthur and Carla when your name was called, judging by the accent you knew it wasn't the monegasque, it was the papaya coloured boy running up to you.
You told Arthur and Carla you would catch up with them as you stopped and smiled at lando who had now reached you. 
“Hey.” he smiled.
“Hey.” you smiled back awkwardly.
“Listen lando, you deserve an explanation-”
“It's okay y/n, we were young, it was a while ago you’re forgiven.” Lando chuckled as he poked your shoulder.
“But that doesn't mean what I did was okay, you deserve more than what I gave you.” 
Lando gave you a sympathetic smile.
“Consider it done with, okay? No hard feelings.”
You smiled up at the British boy, he looked good, he seemed well and that made your guilt feel a little less painful.
“I erm, I have a girlfriend actually, she's great, her names luisa.”
You watched as he lips upturned at the mention of his girlfriend, he was smitten.
“I'm happy for you landini.”
You both laughed for a moment, the free air was nice. Seeing lando meant there was a weight lifted off your shoulders.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing, I didn't want things to be awkward.” he said.
“I don't think I could ever be awkward around you.” Lando smiled at your words.
“Are you still thinking about becoming an F1 journalist?” he asked, remembering how it was your dream, he had also hoped your disappearance in the paddock for the last year wasn't his doing, stopping you from reaching your dream.
You smiled as he remembered, “I'm working on it.”
“Well i hope i see you around more often then, you deserve it y/n, really.”
Lando was getting called from the other end of the paddock as he had to be in his car within the next 10 minutes, you both shared a hug and it felt nice to feel comfortable with him.
His hands squeezed your back before saying a quick bye and skipping down the paddock. 
As he pulled away and walked past, your eyes connected with them all to familiar grey ones you were so nervous to see.
Charles.
He didn't seem too happy though.
He had just watched you smile and laugh with your ex in the middle of the paddock and then hug him bye, even though you thought nothing of it, Charles' mind was spinning.
There he was, a tight lipped smile right opposite you. He had grown out his stubble and he looked tired. You knew he hadn't had the best of seasons with Ferrari, you didn't keep up with it too much, it upset you that his childhood team had failed him massively. 
He nodded his head and followed his press officer in the opposite direction, but you weren't going to let him go just yet.
“Charles, wait!”
And before you could process it you were running, sprinting down the paddock after him, but he had already disappeared into ferrari hospitality.
“Shit.” you mumbled as you jogged down to the garages in hopes of catching up with him.
You scanned your pass and walked into the back of the garage Pascal had walked up to you and grabbed your hand.
“You need to put some headphones on dear, it gets loud in -”
“Pascal, where did he go?” you asked her frantically, like a mad woman out of breath.
“Charles?”
“yes!”
A slight smile just appeared on her face as she turned around, “Be quick dear, I think I can see him putting his balaclava on.” She pushed your shoulder and you walked around the red barrer that clearly said ‘no public entry’.
“You can't be back here, ma'am.” a security officer grabbed the back of your bicep.
“No, I need to get through, it's an emergency.” you whined, pulling your arm from his grip.
“I'm sorry ma’am, it's a safety hazard.” the man's grip tightened on your arm as he pulled you away from the back of the garage. You pushed off him but his grip only improved as he swept you off the floor, lifting you up at your attempt to run. You kicked your legs like a child learning to swim and kicked arms that trapped you.
“If you refuse to cooperate, I'll have no choice but to remove you from the garage.” he said, trying to dodge your feisty little kicks.
“And If you don't get your slimy huge hands off me right now i'm going to-”
“y/n?!”
Your head snapped at the sound of your name, Jorris, Charles' best friend.
“Jorris, oh thank god!”
“She's okay, she can come in.” Jorris grabbed your other hand and wiggled you away from the huge security man's grip as he dropped you back to the floor. You brushed off your dress and gave the security man a dirty look before turning to Charles' best mate.
“Jorris, where is he?” your breathing was rapid and your heart beat feeling like it was thumping out your chest.
“y/n you really shouldn't.” he sent you a sympathetic smile.
“Please.” you pleaded with him. After seeing you try to fight a six foot five security man Joris really didn't want to feel the wrath of you right now, so he complied.
“You have five minutes, follow me.” he led you through the back of the garage.
Whenever Charles got in the car he liked to be left alone to his own devices, it was his switch off time, but you knew on some occasions he didn't mind the company, you just needed to talk to him, tell him you were here for him. You didn't want him getting in the car overthinking that you were here for lando.
And before you knew it, there he was, standing in front of you, you were painting out of breath with your hands on your knees as you looked up at him.
Charles giggled as you held up a finger to let him know you were still getting your breath back. He pulled his ear pieces out of his ear and zipped up the rest of his race suit.
“I hate to rush you, but I have to be in the car in four minutes.” Charles frowned, “and four minutes aren't enough for what I have to say to you, y/n.”
“Let's keep it short and sweet then.” you stood up straight and smiled at the boy.
“Im sor-” he started but you cut him off.
“That's not what I meant by sweet.”
Charles squeezed his eyes and winced at his name being called behind him, he opened his eyes and saw you beaming up at him and he knew he was in love, he just wasn't going to tell you yet, especially not if he had just witnessed you make up with lando. Lando made you happy, Lando didn't break your heart on multiple occasions like he had. Charles wouldn't blame you if you went back to the British driver.
You tilted your head to the left and smiled at Chris, Charles' manager. He was pointing at his watch and tapping his foot.
You looked back at Charles and took in a deep breath, you stood on your tip toes and placed your arms on his shoulders, gently placing a kiss to his cheek.
Your soft lips connecting with his ruff stubble is something Charles cherished, he couldn't wipe the Cheshire cat grin off his face.
“I know it's only a practice session, but good luck out there charlie.”
“Thank you.” he smiled, trying to hide his blush. He couldn't believe he was blushing and how the roles had reversed between the two of you.
“What about lando?” he had to ask, it was on his mind.
“I'm not standing next to Lando wishing him good luck right now, am i?” you smirked at him.
Charles smiled before looking back at his manager, he bent down and kissed your forehead like he had done a thousand times, but this time it felt different, electric, it felt like love. It was love.
“I'll be waiting for you, okay?” you told him.
Charles smiled to himself, he wasn't too late.
If anything was on Charles' side that day it wasnt timing. Charles finished fp2 with a few flying laps and a heavy heart, his first plan was to find you but his press officer had forced him to do interviews, and then he had a meeting and then he had checked his watch and it was way past nine and he knew you were probably back at the hotel by now.
He huffeed as he left his meeting, grabbing his jumper and keys and saying goodbye to the engineers that were going to work on the car overnight.
He had it all planned in his head, he was going to get some flowers on the way home, knock on your hotel door and ask you on a date.
“Charles!” called out his manager, he really hoped he didn't have to stay in this hell hole any longer, he just wanted to leave the track and get his girl.
“What?” he huffed.
“She waited.”
“What?” Charles repeated, his manager now having his full attention. 
Charles caught the way his manager's lips turned into a devilish smirk, but he wasn't looking at Charles, yet something behind him. When he whipped his head around there you were, his heart thumped at the massively oversized ferrari jacket one of the staff must have given you to keep you warm while you waited.
You just smiled at him and waited for him to walk to you, but charles sprinted, he was a man on a mission and when he got to you his hands slipped around your waist, pulling you up in the air for a moment before he dropped you back down, his hands still remaining tightly wrapped around your torso.
He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear before placing his forehead on yours.
“Take what's yours charlie.” you smiled. 
Charles' thumb gently traced over your plump bottom lip before he placed his hand on your cheek, smiling like an idiot. 
He slowly grazed his lips on your before gently adding pressure and connecting your soft lips with his in a quick kiss. A kiss that was full of smiles as Charles pulled you as close to him as possible. Towering over you as he kissed you unlike he had kissed anyone ever. The way your lips moved in sync with his was magic to him, it had never felt like this before.
He pulled back letting you get some air, before using that as leverage to stick his tongue in your mouth, he put all his power and passion into the kiss and it was just as you imagined him to be with you. Sensual and passionate. 
Your hands ran along his shoulders and up to his head where you gently tucked on his hair. Charles groned on your lips and eventually pulled back, he giggled as he placed his forehead on yours again. 
“All mine, finally.” He said through a wide smile.
“I've always been yours…”
Thank you for reading!! Here’s a gif of baby Charles because this is how i imagined him when y/n had her teenage crush. Bare faced and spiky hair🥹
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corroded-hellfire · 1 month
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hi, babes! i saw that you’re open to some AYW blurbs so i wanted to shoot my shot 🥹 i am YEARNING for jealous!eddie sooooo bad so could we pretty please with cherries on top have a lil blurb about him where a different dad hits on the reader while they’re picking up the boys from school or maybe while they’re doing some kind of errands like grocery shopping or something? it could be from when they’re already dating or from when they’re just pining over each other, it’s up to you! i just want possessive!eddie to come back lmaooo thank you in advance if you choose to do this! i love youuu and the entire AYW universe ❤️
Jealous!Eddie? Possessive!Eddie? Oh, you're definitely speaking my language. As much as I love Eddie being possessive after he and Reader get together, there's something about Eddie being a total jealousy monster while they're still just pining for one another that butters my biscuit.
Words: 2.9k
Warnings: age gap, Eddie is technically married to someone else but if you know this series you know what that's all about
[As You Wish masterlist]
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The stoplight turns green, and you put pressure on the gas pedal of your gold Elantra. The car rumbles down the road as you bop your head and sing along to the radio. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by The Backstreet Boys is a great song, you don’t care what boy band haters say. 
It’s part of the usual routine for you to be early when arriving at Hawkins Elementary School to pick up Ryan and Luke, but since your literature class let out twenty minutes before it was supposed to, you’re extra early. You turn your car into the school’s parking lot and find a visitor spot that will allow you to easily swing into the pick-up line when the time comes. 
Car in park, you turn the volume on the radio up and tuck one leg underneath you. You’re so engrossed in the music that you have to do a double take when you see an attractive man walk past a few cars, headed toward the school.
It’s Eddie. Something is in his hand but he’s moving so briskly that it’s hard to tell what it is. Lead fills your stomach. Why is he here? What happened? Did something happen with the boys? Are they okay?
You yank the key out of the ignition mid-song and throw open the driver’s side door. 
“Hey, Eddie!” you call as you jog to catch up with him—his long legs striding further in one step than either of his sons can go in three. 
Eddie turns his head as he reaches for the handle of the door. He’s just reached the entrance, and he stops with his hand on top of the silver bar. You could almost swear his tense face eases into a smile when he sees you coming up behind him. But perhaps that’s just wishful thinking. Of course it is. What else would it be?
“What’s going on?” you ask. “Is everything okay?”
He sighs and pulls open the front door of the school, gesturing for you to step inside first. You do, and he follows in behind you. He lifts his other hand which is holding a pair of small pants.
“The school called me at work and said Luke spilled glue all over his pants, so I grabbed a pair from home for him to change into,” he explains. “I tried calling you when I got to the house, but I guess you were already on your way.”
It should probably surprise you more than it does that Luke got into such a sticky situation, but you’ve known him for long enough that this just seems par for the course.
“Oh, Luke,” you sigh as you and Eddie stride side by side down the hallway.
“He keeps life interesting,” Eddie says. He checks his watch and sees there’s less than half an hour left in the school day. He gestures toward a classroom door covered in student’s artwork. “Might as well grab Ryan from his class since it’s right here.”
You wait out in the hall as Eddie slips inside to get his oldest son.
“He did what?” you hear Ryan asking as Eddie opens the door on his way out. The little boy looks as if he’s going to say something else, but he sees you standing in the hall and immediately steps forward and wraps his arms around your waist. “Hi!”
“Hey, Ry.” You chuckle at his eagerness and ruffle his honey brown hair. “How was school?”
“Pretty good,” he says as he takes your hand. Both Munsons head down the hall, you tagging along since you don’t know the right direction to go in. “I played kickball in gym. I ran the bases so fast!”
“Nice!” You hold your free hand up for a high five, which he gladly returns.
Eddie stops in front of another classroom door and nods towards it.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” 
He slips inside and Ryan swings your joined hands between the two of you for a few moments until the door opens again and Luke waddles out in a bow-legged stance, feet slowly shuffling him along.
“What did you do?” Ryan asks with a sigh. It’s in the same exasperated tone that Luke brings out of a lot of people.
“Nothing!” his little brother defends. “The bottle was clogged so I took the lid off. Then it slipped out of my hands!”
Eddie lets out a silent chuckle as he closes the classroom door behind them. 
“I think they’re stuck to me!” Luke says.
“Okay,” Eddie says, gently taking Luke by the shoulders and leading him towards a bathroom a few doors down. “I can help get them off.”
“Can Ryan?” Luke asks, reaching for the door handle.
“Ry?” Eddie looks at his oldest son.
“Yeah, let me help.”
Ryan holds the door open and Luke crab walks his way into the single bathroom. The door clicks closed behind them and Eddie gives you an amused look. You can’t help but giggle as the two of you wait out in the hall. 
Sounds of movement come from the other side of the door, along with the murmur of Luke’s voice as he speaks to his brother. A few minutes pass before the door opens a crack and Ryan sticks his head out.
“Daddy?” he asks. “Can you get a Band-Aid from the classroom?”
“He’s bleeding?” Eddie asks, slight alarm creeping into his voice.
Ryan sighs. “Glue pulled off a scab on his knee.”
“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Eddie says. He looks at you as Ryan pulls his head back inside, and you nod, letting Eddie know you’ll be here with the boys. 
Parents begin to trickle into the hallway. It’s the kindergarten wing so it’s not unusual for guardians to be waiting right outside the classroom to pick up their kids. Luke was more capable than that, he assured when he said that he could walk to the pick-up lane outside all on his own—or sometimes with Ryan. 
“Everything okay?” a voice asks from behind you.
“Oh!” You’re slightly startled as you spin around to see a man standing near you. 
A smile quirks up on one side of his mouth when he sees he surprised you. His smile is nice, you notice. In fact, all of his face is nice. He’s around Eddie’s age and height, with short black hair and piercing green eyes. Very attractive. 
“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” you say with a wave of your hand. “Um, yeah, everything is okay. Just a glue incident.”
“Been there,” the man says with a gruff laugh. “Nail polish remover.”
“I’m sorry?” you ask.
“Nail polish remover will get the glue off of clothes,” he clarifies. “Just in case you or your husband didn’t know that.”
His words fluster you. Had he seen Eddie and just assumed he was your husband? Or was he just assuming in general? Either way, it takes a moment for you to compose yourself. 
Part of you doesn’t want to correct him. But it’s possible the boys can hear this conversation through the wood of the door. Also, what if the man says something similar after Eddie comes back? Eddie would obviously refute, and you’d be mortified all the way around. 
“Oh, uh, he’s um, he’s not my husband. He’s their dad. I’m the babysitter.”
“Ah, my mistake. Sorry.” He doesn’t look the least bit sorry though. “I should’ve guessed. You’re far too young to be their mom.”
He must’ve seen Eddie and at least Ryan, then. 
Again, you’re flustered. He’s clearly flirting with you, so why does part of you want Eddie to hurry up and come back? This man is handsome and charming and neither of you are doing anything wrong by having this conversation with one another. There’s not a ring on his finger either, you notice. 
You still haven’t responded though.
“You have a beautiful smile,” he says.
You hadn’t even realized you were smiling. 
“Thank you,” you say, your smile turning shy.  
The man takes a step closer to you and tilts his head to the side.
“Do you come by here every day? Or is it just my lucky day?”
Behind you, Eddie comes back with a Band-Aid in his hand. He hears the man’s question and immediately his hackles go up. His back straightens and his jaw sets as he purposely squeaks one of his black boots against the tile floor. 
The sound has the intended effect, and you spin around in his direction. Why do you feel as though you’ve been caught doing something wrong? An image of Brittany’s beautiful, cold face flashes in your mind and the trace of guilt disappears.
“You got it?” you ask Eddie.
“Yep,” he states curtly. 
He brandished the Band-Aid, realizing he had crumpled it in his fist in his irritation. He knocks on the bathroom door. “It’s me. Here’s the Band-Aid.”
Ryan opens it a crack and sticks his hand out. Eddie lays it in his palm as you hear a footstep right behind you.
Spinning back, you see that the handsome man is closer to you now. Eddie is not happy. But neither you nor the man notice. 
“I feel like I would’ve noticed you here before,” the man says to you.
“I’m usually in the carpool,” you explain. 
“See, I knew I would have recognized you,” he says with a bright smile. “You’re very pretty.”
Your face immediately fills with heat. So does Eddie’s, but for another reason entirely. 
“Thank you,” you say.
A fist banging on the door behind you startles you, and you spin around to see Eddie pounding on the wood.
“How’s it going?” Eddie asks loudly. 
“Good!” Luke calls back. “I’m almost all the way unstuck!” 
Eddie takes a breath and turns towards you.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to stay here through this.”
Though he didn’t consciously intend it, there’s possessiveness in the pet name. It’s not uncommon for him to call you “sweetheart,” but this time there’s a harshness in his tone that whispers he’s staking his claim on you.
This may be the only time Eddie has ever wanted you to go away from him. And it’s not because of him, but because of the flirtatious father that is not him. The father who can’t leave with you because he’s still waiting for his kid.
“Oh no, I’m fine,” you assure Eddie. “I can take the boys back home and you can go back to work.”
Eddie waves a hand dismissively.
“Nah, I already took the rest of the day off.” 
The stranger behind you opens his mouth to speak, so Eddie makes sure to beat him to it.
“What do you say we go get some food once Situation Sticky Pants is solved?” Eddie asks. “The gremlins are always hungry.”
“If I had a nickel for every time Luke climbed into my car and immediately brought up food, I’d be able to buy this school,” you say with a fond smile. 
Eddie’s responding chuckle makes your heart leap into your throat. You’re so ensnared by the man you’re so infatuated with that you almost miss his eldest son calling your name through the bathroom door.
Quickly, you shake it off and press your ear up against the smooth wood.
“Yeah, Ry?”
While your focus is on the boy talking to you from inside the bathroom, Eddie looks at the man behind you, steel in his deep brown eyes. The man doesn’t react or respond one way or the other. It irritates Eddie even further. 
“What was the name of that movie we watched yesterday?” Ryan asks you.
“Flubber?”
“That’s it!” you hear Luke say.
“Okay, thank you!” Ryan adds. 
You pull away from the door with a soft chuckle.
“I really hope whatever conversation they’re having about that movie has nothing to do with getting Luke’s pants unstuck,” Eddie says. 
You lean back against the cool, white brick wall next to the bathroom door and the man sidles up closer to you. Eddie doesn’t have the chance to intervene before he speaks this time.
“I know it’s a shot in the dark,” the man says to you, “but would you want to get dinner sometime?”
You’re stunned speechless. Sure, he had been flirting with you, but you assumed that’s all it was. Just some innocent, fun flirting. A date could also be some innocent fun, you tell yourself. And this man has been nothing but kind and respectful towards you. But…it doesn’t feel right. It’s hard to parse out if it feels wrong accepting another man’s advances in front of Eddie because of how you feel for your boss, or you just don’t want to go out with the guy, as nice as he seems. Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean you owe him anything. Regardless, you feel a sense of relief when you decide to decline his offer.
What you don’t know is that Eddie is ready to combust behind you. Waiting for you to answer the question is pure agony for him. He’s pretty sure he’ll burst into flames if you keep him in suspense any longer.
“Oh, that’s very sweet of you,” you say. 
Eddie’s heart seizes in his chest. He leans his shoulder against the wall, hoping it will help keep him propped up. 
“But…” you continue, and Eddie’s heart starts beating again, even if it’s at an erratic rhythm. 
“I actually have a boyfriend though,” you finish. 
Eddie feels sick. He half thinks he’ll have to barge in on the boys in the bathroom and empty his stomach into the toilet.
The man gives you a sad smile and nods his head.
“He’s a lucky guy.”
You offer him a small smile just as the bathroom door bangs open and the boys step out—Luke clad in his glue-free jeans.
“How we doing?” you ask them.
“Good!” Luke grins and gives you two thumbs up. His previous pair of jeans are slung over his shoulder. Eddie slips them off and rolls them up into a ball. 
“We ready to go?” Eddie asks.
Luke nods his head enthusiastically and slips his smaller hand into yours. He begins to pull you in the direction of the school’s exit. You turn your head as you’re pulled away and give the man a small smile.
“Have a nice day,” you wish him.
“You as well,” he replies. 
Once your gang makes it into the parking lot, the boys start bickering about whose car they want to ride in. They come up with Rock, Paper, Scissors as a way to decide.
While they play that, Eddie turns to you. 
“Boyfriend, huh?” he asks. It takes a Herculean amount of effort to keep bitterness from coating those words. 
Eddie knows he has no right to ask you about this and it’s completely inappropriate. Yet, he can’t stop himself from asking. 
“Hmm?” you question. As soon as his question registers in your brain, adrenaline pumps through your body, eager to let Eddie know that you’re very available—even if it doesn’t make a difference one way or the other. “Oh! No, no, I don’t have a boyfriend. My best friend taught me to use that excuse when I don’t want to accept. It’s a no, but the guy won’t get all bent out of shape or start harassing me because it doesn’t really hurt his pride.”
“Wow,” Eddie says, blowing out a breath. He’s immensely relieved that you’re single, but also annoyed that you’ve had to employ this trick for your safety. ‘I am so sorry that you have to do that. A ‘no’ should be enough.”
“Should be.” You agree with a shrug. “But it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Scissors!” Luke exclaims before he turns in your direction. “We’re riding with you!”
“Want to meet at the diner on Essex?” Eddie asks.
“Sure!”
Eddie ushers the boys into the back of your car and makes sure they’re buckled in before walking across the parking lot to his own truck. As he slips into the driver’s seat and turns the key in the ignition, Eddie replays the last fifteen minutes in his head. 
“She said no to that guy,” Eddie muses out loud to himself as he navigates through the traffic that’s collected in front of the school. “She said no to that guy because she has a boyfriend. But she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
A large sigh of relief spills from his lips. The mere thought of you having a boyfriend created a multitude of knots in Eddie’s stomach. He can’t even bear to think about how much of a hypocrite it all makes him. 
“But…” Eddie continues to himself, a new sickening thought taking root. “Oh, fuck. What if she didn’t want to date that douche because he’s older than her. My fucking age.”
The thought disheartens him even more than the idea of you having a boyfriend does. He reaches up and rubs his calloused hands over his face as he rolls up to a red light. 
“Jesus Christ, Munson,” he groans. “You’re sitting here, talking to yourself about whether or not she has a boyfriend, or if there’s a possibility she could be into someone older. You’re fucking married, douchebag. It shouldn’t matter one way or the other if she's with someone or not. Or who she might want to date or not.”
The light turns green, and Eddie lets his foot rest heavy against the gas.
Maybe none of this should matter to Eddie. But it sure as hell does.
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steddiealltheway · 10 months
Text
Eddie’s eyes are brown.
At least, that’s what Steve would’ve said before staring into his eyes for…ten seconds? Thirty seconds? Five minutes? … he’s lost track of time.
But the time is certainly not wasted.
Steve’s not sure how he’s never noticed that brown eyes aren’t just brown. It’s a silly thought, and he knows that he should probably know this considering he also has brown eyes, but maybe he’s been too focused on his hair. And maybe he’s been a little too focused on Eddie’s lips…
He fights to glance down at them as Eddie stares back at him, his pupils blown wide, but every now and then when he leans a little to the side, the sunlight from the windows hits his eyes just right and his pupils contract, showing off all the color in his eyes. And Steve loves when this happens.
The brown turns into an almost amber color, deep brown highlighted by hints of warm red and orange. And at the bottom of his eyes, there’s small patches of gold standing out against the deep brown ring that circles the whole iris.
Steve thinks he could get lost in it all and stare for hours.
He leans in a little closer, trying to see more of that gold, and nearly groaning when Eddie shifts away from the light again, eyes becoming such a deep brown that Steve can easily see his reflection.
But he doesn’t want to see himself, he wants to see how that dark chocolate turns into that gold and red in the sunlight.
Then, something Steve didn’t fathom happens.
Eddie closes his eyes.
“Steve won!” Dustin shouts, as the other kids carry on loudly, and Steve is harshly startled back into reality.
A staring contest. That’s what this was supposed to be. A staring contest, not a Steve gets lost in his friend’s eyes for so long that he forgets to blink contest. Christ.
He glances sheepishly at Eddie and takes in all his features, the furrowed brow and the slight frown to his lips as Eddie tugs at a stand of hair.
As the kids file out of the room, moving onto whatever activity is going to keep them entertained next, Steve asks, “Are you that upset about losing?”
Eddie shakes his head and leans forward, staring into Steve’s eyes again. Steve fights not to look too deeply, afraid he’ll get lost in the depths forever if he gives himself the chance.
“I saw something I hadn’t seen before,” Eddie comments, looking back and forth between his two eyes.
“I did too,” Steve admits, allowing himself to stare a bit. He reaches out and pulls Eddie closer to him, getting both his eyes directly in the sunlight. “I see a whiskey my dad used to always keep on his desk, with hints of gold that reminds me of the jewelry my dad got for my mom, back when they still loved each other.”
His heart pounds at the memories, back to a time when things almost seemed normal. When he thought he would always be happy.
Steve shakes his head and glances away, unsure of how the colors he saw before could bring up the deep memories he spewed to Eddie. He changes the subject and asks, “What did you see in mine?”
He expects maybe an analysis of green and brown, or hazel as many girls tell him after staring at him for long enough to make him feel uncomfortable. He wonders why Eddie doesn’t make him feel that way.
A finger lifts Steve’s chin, turning his gaze back to Eddie whose stare sends chills down his spines. “I saw longing,” Eddie states and continues, “Was it for those things? Those memories?”
Steve finds himself shaking his head as his eyes glance down to Eddie’s lips which twitch as he swallows. “Was it longing?” Eddie asks, nervousness seeping into his tone.
Steve glances back at his eyes and nods. It’s not like he’s unaware of his deeper feelings for Eddie, but he didn’t expect to fall so hard in just a few moments as he stared into his eyes. And he definitely didn’t expect to have those emotions read so clearly in his own eyes.
Eddie’s hand slowly moves to cup Steve’s face as he says, “Steve, read my own eyes for a moment. Please see the-”
“Can you guys give us a ride to the arcade?!” Dustin yells from the other room.
Steve sees Eddie’s eyes flash with annoyance which is much different from the loving expression from before.
Loving.
Steve takes a deep breath and steps back as he hears multiple footsteps hurriedly making their way back to the kitchen.
“Did you hear us?” Mike asks, crossing his arms.
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, “Get to the car.”
He lingers back with Eddie as he watches all the kids run to his car, and when Steve gets to the door with Eddie behind him, he yells, “Give me a minute, I need to grab my wallet!”
He closes the door quickly and rushes into Eddie’s space, cupping his face, and asking, “Am I reading this wrong?”
“Not at all,” Eddie says, hope and deep longing shining in his eyes.
“Good,” Steve says, leaning forward and meeting Eddie in the middle as they hurriedly kiss, pouring in all the longing they’ve both experienced for months now but were too oblivious to see before.
(Robin laughs for minutes on end when she hears that a staring contest is what got them together when they’ve been having multiple for months without the label. Steve just rolls his eyes, but as soon as Eddie asks, “Want to have another staring contest?” He can’t resist.)
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x0xomady · 7 months
Text
touchdown*
⭒⭒⭒
⭒ Football!Harry / Coaches daughter!reader ⭒ frat boy harry ⭒ shy reader ⭒
warnings: smut, 18+, cursing, unprotected sex.
summary: harry is the varsity quarterback for their universities football team. after a practice harry is accidentally left at the field with no ride home. y/n is there to help him.
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⭒⭒⭒
y/n’s dad was her universities football teams head coach which meant she was forced to go to most of the games. she didn’t have a huge interest in sports, but she went to support her dad.
she occasionally went to practices because she loved to study outside. she was studying film so she would film the teams pre-game videos and promos.
today was a beautiful day. y/n decided to go to the practice and sit up in the stands so she could study in the fresh air. the whole team knew who she was so it wasn’t awkward or weird when she walked in.
y/n was sitting in the first row of seats editing her film assignment. she wasn’t paying much attention to the running and yelling going down on the field. she heard her dad close up practice which meant she had to pack up and go get her stuff from his office.
harry was having a good day. he had an amazing practice and felt good. his frat was having a party tonight too so he knew that would be fun. harry liked to take a few minutes after practice to stretch so he wouldn’t injure himself. after that he did his normal routine of showering, changing, and getting a snack from the vending machine.
however, today he realized that everyone from his team had left together by the time he was done, and harry didn’t have a car. he looked around the locker room and field to see if anyone was left but he was completely alone.
maybe his coach would be nice enough to give him a ride. harry walked to the office looking for him, but instead saw y/n exiting.
“hey y/n!” he says with a smile.
“hi!” she was cute, very shy, but cute.
“do you mind giving me a ride home? they ditched me.” he laughs a little.
“of course!” y/n thought nothing of it. harry and her had an english and psychology class together so it wasn’t their first time interacting. they actually ran in the same big friend group. they just never hung out one-on-one.
the car ride was filled with quiet music and mindless chatter between the two of them. y/n always had a small crush on harry so she was a little exited about the private time between them. she would never admit it to him because he didn’t like her back, but she thought he was hot.
i mean who didn’t?
harry was practically the most wanted guy on campus. he had an array of tattoos covering his arms and chest, he had the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen, and he was built. as she pulled her car up to harry’s frat house, he turned to her.
“are you coming to the party tonight?” harry thought she was hot. she wasn’t super out going, but he liked that about her. girls that were super loud and in your face weren’t attractive. she was sweet and cute. he secretly hoped she said yes just because he wanted to see her again.
“yeah i’m going with y/f/n!” she nods at him.
“cool we can hang out.” he smiles and hops out giving her a ‘thank you’ and a wave.
unlike most frat boys, harry was super sweet. he was always respectful and kind to her whenever they talked. which is why she liked him so much. that and the fact that he was insanely attractive.
she was almost bursting with excitement by the time the party rolled around. y/n was wearing a mini strapless black dress. she would never admit it, but she was wearing it to get attention from harry.
harry was just as excited to see her. he was wearing a thin black sweater and blue jeans. he put on a cologne that she had complimented one time when they were hanging out with their friends.
y/n and her friend pulled up to the house and it was already blowing up. harry was in the biggest frat on campus so everyone was anticipating this party.
when they walked in they were instantly struck by the large group of people filling the home. luckily, since they were friends with harry and others in the frat, they were let into the back where only select people were allowed to go. it was much less cramped in there and their friend group was sitting around on couches drinking.
“hey!” niall, y/f/n boyfriend walked over and greeted them. the rest of their friends welcomed them as well. y/n was immediately handed a drink from one of the pledges harry and niall had walking around serving drinks.
she accepted it and walked over to the couch to sit. niall and her friend were already making out so she needed to get away from them. y/n’s eyes started searching the room for the boy she had come to see.
“hey y/n.” she looked up to see harry standing next to the couch.
“oh hi!” she smiled and scooted over so he could sit next to her.
they talked for a bit and joked around with the other members of their friend group for a while until y/f/n walked over to you.
“c’mon let’s go dance!” she grabbed y/n’s hand and pulled her away from harry.
the dance floor was filled with people and the only thing that could be heard was ‘Rock your Body’ by Justin Timberlake.
y/n and her friend were jumping and dancing with the other people when she felt somebody walk up to her.
“missed me that much” she laughs at harry who was smirking down at her.
“oh it was terrible” he says dramatically.
they dance together and y/f/n gives her a look and a knowing smile before walking away to find niall.
when the song changes y/n feels harry grab her hips and flip her around so she is facing him. without any warning he leans down and kisses her on the lips. she was shocked by this and pulls back.
“fuck i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done that.” harry’s eyes widen. maybe he had misread the signals and she didn’t like him like that.
she doesn’t respond and instead stands on her tiptoes to give him another kiss. y/n wraps her arms around her shoulders to deepen the kiss. his lips felt amazing. he had his fingers in her hair holding her to him tightly.
“wanna go to my room?” harry says leaning down to kiss her on the neck. she nods and pulls him towards the stairs to his room. they had to get through a maze of people making out against the walls.
she has been to harry’s room a couple times before while they were working on homework and projects together. as soon as the door is locked harry is on her.
he leans down to pick her up against the door and press his lips against hers hard. y/n whimpers out and holds her hands on either side of his face to deepen their kiss. harry presses his hard on to her core and groans.
“see what you do to me?” he slowly grinds into her while they continue to kiss hard. “can i taste you baby?"
“please harry” she whimpers as he moves them from the door to his bed. he wastes no time in pushing her dress above her hips. harry presses kisses against her clit through underwear. “need you."
“where do you need me baby?” he teases her by running his fingers against her inner thighs.
y/n was too shy to say it. “you know.”
“no i don’t you have to tell me.” harry smirks. “here?” he presses a kiss to her inner thigh. y/n shakes her head.
“please harry need it so bad.” she begs him.
“only cause you’re so sweet.” he smiles and pulls her underwear off. he hastily presses an open mouthed kiss to her clit. “such a pretty pussy.” he licks a stripe from her slit to her puffy button.
harry brings his lip to her clit and sucks hard. y/n moans and wraps her legs around his shoulders. “fuck harry!”
this is all the encouragement he needs to go faster. he gives her clit one last kiss before leaning down to push his tongue past her entrance. y/n is experiencing true bliss from the feeling of harry’s thick tongue and his nose that’s pushing against her bundle of nerves.
he brings his hand up to press a finger into her entrance while moving his mouth back up to her clit. he fucks her with two fingers while suckling on the bundle of nerves. this has her approaching her orgasm faster than ever.
“fuck i’m gonna cum harry!” she gasps and pulls on his hair slightly.
“cum for me baby.” he moans out at her tug on his hair.
with one final kitten lick against her clit she cum's on his face.
“gonna let me fuck you baby?” he gives her cunt one last kiss before climbing back to press kisses along her neck.
“yes please need it so bad.” she nods quickly and leans down to help harry take off his pants and shirt. once they are both naked he wastes no time in pushing past her tight entrance.
“shit got the tightest pussy i’ve ever felt.” he moans and leans down to kiss her on the neck again. he starts rolling his hips into her hard.
“harder harry.” she whimpers at the feeling of his thick cock running deep into her cunt. she clenched tightly around him moaning louder.
“if you say so.” he picks up her hips and starts drilling faster into her dripping hole. y/n was losing it. he was thrusting at the perfect angle. his cock was hitting her g-spot perfectly and his hip bone was stimulating her clit in just the way she needed to orgasm.
“such a perfect little cunt.” he groans and thrusts harder. harry was obsessed with her. he was obsessed with her moans, her face while she was coming, and her cute little moans.
“let me ride you.” y/n turns harry over so she can be on top. she hastily raises her hips above his cock and drops down hard. this makes the two of them moan out in satisfaction. she grinds over his hard length which has harry groaning.
“gonna cum in you baby.” he moans and grabs her hips to help her move faster over his cock.
“cum with me.” she gasps and pushes her hands against his sweaty chest for stability. the two of them are experiencing pure ecstasy.
with one final grind against him y/n cum's on his cock while harry empties his balls deep inside her cunt.
“fuck why haven’t we done that before?"
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snazzydwarf · 1 year
Text
Jasons pit madness is actually him going mama bear mode-
I was brushing my teeth when this DC x DP idea just zapped into my brain and I HAD to let it out-
So I'd imagine that in the GZ time works differently, but in the sense where it passes really really slow compared to how it would normally pass. This is to allow newly formed spirits a time to grieve and heal before saying good bye to their loved ones.
So now imagine a newly formed Jason Todd arriving to the Ghost Zone, still donned with the Robin outfit he died in. 
While he floats aimlessly around for a while he eventually encounters another young ghost... like really young, no more then 5 years old.
He watched as this kid, his kid, grow into the powerful ghost he was always meant to be. His favourite moments where when Clockwork allowed them to visit outside the GZ to go stargazing so they could fulfil the kids space obsession. 
This ghost is Danny. (You can choose your own way of him getting there but I would imagine the portal being completed way earlier than cannon but still follows how Danny got his powers, although this time he was trapped on the other side of the portal rather than popping back out into this parents basement.)
Years pass in the GZ and Jason has officially taken Danny under his wing. At first it was difficult, he was only 15 goddammit! He shouldn’t be the soul caretaker of this kid, let alone a dead one! But the thought of leaving Danny alone in this green void made his stomach churn, he couldn’t up and leave and abandon a kid he said he would take care off, he would do anything for Danny. He wasn’t like Bruce
They were fine, happy even, he couldn’t imagine a life without this little tyke who became his whole world in the time he was in the Zone, but then it was all gone. His core felt a sudden pull so tight it felt like it was being ripped out of his body, it hurt, oh god did it hurt but it couldn’t compare to the sound of Danny’s cries as he watched Jason crumple to the ground and begin to fade away.
He stalked through Gotham at night and began setting up his plan for revenge, although Red Hood was born he couldn’t help feel like he lost something. The slightest thing would tip him of, making him go into a blind fury, ripping his enemies apart in an almost frantic desperation. He knew he was searching for something, fucking something, but what is it? 
He was back in the land of the living, and he was furious, but he didn’t know what for. His memories where fuzzy at best and the only thing he remembers is a sharpness in his chest and green in his vision. 
At first he thought it was the desire for revenge, that he was searching for retribution against the man who killed him and the man who didn’t do enough to save him, but it wasn’t until almost a year after he took up the Red Hood mantel did it all click into place and his world suddenly became right again, all it took was one voice and one word.
“DAD!”
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mrsmikaelsxn · 2 years
Text
Flower Crowns
masterlist
pairing: harry potter x female reader
warnings: kissing, jily 2.0, fluff, flirty harry
summary: you were quite popular among the wizards and witches in the school, you had many admirers but none of them were like harry potter
a/n: harry would honestly be such a perfect boyfriend
song: i was made for lovin’ you - kiss
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It was your sixth year at Hogwarts, today was your first day back after summer. Seated at the Slytherin table with some of your friends, you were in a conversation about what everyone did over the summer. 
As you were about to tell them about the trip you took, you hear a throat being cleared from behind you. You turn around as your friends look up and roll there eyes. 
“Hello, darling,” Harry grins while plopping himself on the bench with little room next to you.
“Potter,” you nod looking him over.
“How is it you’ve gotten even more beautiful over the summer,” he sighs dreamily. Your friends moved down the table more since they were tired of this routine. You look at them with betrayal as they just smile and shrug. 
“What is it you came over here for?” you dont know why you bother asking at this point, you already know whats coming. 
“Well, love, I came to ask you if you would go out with me this weekend,” he winks. You glace over his shoulder to see a Hermione sighing and a grinning Ron. 
“Sorry, Potter, but I’m going to have to decline your offer,” you said looking back at him. He’s use to you saying no, like how it has been for the past four years. He still trys all the time, he has never done anything with another person either. He is so set on you being for him that he is disgusted at the thought of being with anyone else that isn’t you. 
In the summer before second year, he went back home and told his parents about you. He would somehow have a way to bring you up everyday, while he blushing thinking about you. James would always grin at Lily while lifting his eyebrows up and down. She would roll her eyes as James starts to tell him about how to get you to take interest in him. 
Taking his dads advice, he would buy you little things at least twice a week, give you compliments every time he saw you, and many more things. 
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One time during fourth year, he saw you walking around alone at the Quidditch World Cup. You were in a somewhat long silk green dress that complimented your body perfectly. You had some light makeup and your hair styled back.  He told the Weasleys and Hermione to go on and that he would joining them in a few minutes. 
“Hi, sweetheart,” Harry greets you while letting his eyes roam all over you in adoration. You glance over at him, taking in his messy hair and him in general. You would be lying if you were to say that he was not attractive, anyone could see that. 
“Potter, how are you?” 
“I'm perfect after seeing you, you look stunning” he smiles.
You blushed and looked away trying to hide your light pink cheeks. Although he most definitely saw, he felt like the happiest person ever. This was the first time he was able to make you blush.
“Thank you, I suppose you don’t look bad yourself,” you tell him while the corners of your mouth lift up a bit. 
He could have fainted right there, he started to stutter as he wasn’t expecting that. 
“I best be off, Potter. My family is waiting for me, I’ll see you soon,” you wave at the blushing boy as you start walking back. 
“I- uhm- brilliant!” That day he went to back to the Weasley’s tent as he told them about what happened. They all teased him about his massive crush as was still in a daze. It was truly astonishing how one sentence from you could lead him to act like this. 
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Another time was last year, fifth year, when you had gotten detention with Umbridge. You were walking back to the common room with tears stinging your eyes. Umbridge had you stay much longer than you thought because of your “innappropriote behavior”. Apparently, speaking the truth is innappropriote now. As you were turing you almost crashed into someone. You look up to see a worried Harry Potter looking down at you. 
“I’m sorry, Potter. Excuse me,” you excuse yourself trying to go around him. Before you can, he gently grabs your waist and turns you to face him again. 
“Hold on, darling. Why are you crying, did something happen?” 
You couldn’t hold in the pain anymore. You started crying while grabbing onto Harry. His arms quickly wrapped around your waist. 
“Shh, love. Tell me whats wrong,” he whispers while using one hand to play with your hair. 
“I- um- had detention, with Umbridge,” he looks confused so you take a step back an slowly hold your left arm out. 
He was still confused for a second before looking at your hand. He was fuming, he saved his anger for now and decided to comfort you right now. He also felt such sadness that anyone would hurt an angel like you. 
“She did this to you?” he asked while sounding like he was about to cry. You nod, with some tears still streaming down your face. Oh how we wished he was able to kiss them away. 
“Come on love, I’ll take you to Hermione… she is much better at healing spells than me,” he informs you while gently pulling you towards the Gryffindor common room.
It was pretty late, so the room was empty when you both arrived. Except for Ron and Hermione who were arguing on the couch. They never had anything against you, even though you were a Slytherin, you had never participating in any of the bullying that a lot of other Slytherins did. You even scolded Malfoy when he called Hermione a Mudblood. 
Since that day you became somewhat friends with the girl, ignoring the looks of disgust from others in your house. 
When the two gryffindors looked up and saw you crying with distraught Harry, their argument quickly ended as they rushed over to you both.
“What happened, y/n? Harry?” Hermione says worridly. 
You tell them what happened, and they were just as mad as Harry. They tried to get rid of the writing on your hand but it would not go away. So Hermione decided she would just take the pain away for now. You thanked her with a hug and said goodnight as her and Ron went to their rooms. 
You turned to Harry and noticed how close your faces were, you glanced down at at his lips almost leaning in when you heard a bang from the dormitory making you both jump. 
“I- uh- should get back. Thank you, Potter,” you smile, quickly giving him a peck on the cheek before rushing out and leaving you both a blushing mess. 
Harry was left standing there as he lifted his hand to his red cheeks where your lips were. “What a girl,” he mumbled walking up the stairs. 
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Back to present times, Harry got back up from his seat and looked down to you. “I’ll suppose I’ll have to try again tommorow, pretty,” he grins walking back to his seat. 
You blush lightly before picking up your things to head to your first class. The professor ended up assigning seats, and to Harrys luck, he was partnered with you for the year. 
“It’s meant to be, love,” he says as he leans back into his seat. 
“You wish, Potter,” you smile at him. 
“Yes, I do wish,” he grins looking at your eyes. 
After a long day of beginning of the year speeches, you were finally able to plop onto your bed and sleep. You look over to your friend, Daphne Greengrass, she was one of the only tolerable Slytherins in your opinion. 
“It’s adorable how much Potter loves you,” she laughs laying in bed. 
“Pfft, don't be ridiculous Daphne. He doesn't love me,” you shake your head. 
“He looks at you like you’re the only person in the world,” she giggles.  
“Hm”
You decided to drop the conversation, you closed your eyes and fell asleep. Later the next day, you were in the forbidden forest. Around a year ago, you found a place with a pretty flower field that was closed off. You come here often, as far as you know, you’re the only one who knows about it. 
You started to weave a flower crown out of a few lovely flowers you picked. You finished it and put it on as you hear meows from behind you. You turn around a squeal as you pick up the kitten and started to play with her (you checked the gender). 
You were unaware of Harry who was on his was to you after using the Mauraders Map to find you. He finally found you and his heart melt as he saw you giggling with a meowing kitten that licked your face as you lay in the field. 
You heard walking and sat up only to find yourself looking at the boy who has been on your mind a lot recently. 
“Oh! Hi, Harry, I didn’t expect you to come here,” you say. 
“Harry?” he asks you, trying to suppress a smile.
“Thats your name, is it not?” you laugh. 
“I suppose it is. Mind if I sit?” you nod, as you sit together in silence that was unexpectedly comfortable. 
Harry couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of you. 
“I really do fancy you,” Harry mumbles.
You turn to look at him, “I know… maybe I fancy you a bit as well,” you say, bringing your fingers up to show a pinch. 
“Really?” Harry asks leaving closer to you. 
“Really,” you whisper as you move so close your lips are brushing. You look into see his eyes and notice how pretty they are. 
“You’re perfect,” he whispers against your mouth as he connects his to yours. You both close your eyes as you kiss back and reach your hands into his hair. For the first minute it was sweet, before it started to become more passionate. You bring your leg over his and straddle him without disconnecting your lips. It was pure bliss.
You tug his hair getting a groan from him as his tongue swipes against your bottom lip, asking for permission. You happily comply and open your mouth, letting him explore your mouth, and you his. You gently pull his hair back and kiss down his neck and jaw. You leave many butterfly kisses. In between the kisses he whispers some small compliments, making you smile against his neck. You find his sweet spot and lightly suck on it, making him whimper, and leaving a beautiful hickey.  He says some praises bring heat to your face. He kisses your cheeks, “I love making you blush,” he smiles. 
“Oh hush, Potter,” you get off his lap. He groans but you decide its better to stop now before things get more heated. 
“Is it alright if I make you a flower crown? I think it would look rather good on you,” you asks with a sheepish smile.
“Of course, love”
He lays his head on your lap as you make the crown, you finish after about four minutes. It was somewhat hard for you to focus when you could feel Harrys gaze on you, but you tried your best to ignore it. 
“Andddd… done!” Harry sits up and you place it on his head. 
“You look pretty,” you smile pecking his lips. A light pink coats his cheeks. He honesty has never been so happy, he adores you so much that you are 90% of what he talks about. It was such a pain for his friends to have to listen to his rants about your “angelic beauty,” as he puts it. 
“Thank you, angel,” he says. 
“I think we should head back now, dinner alreader started,” you say standing up, also taking the kitten with you. You both walk hand in hand, you grinning at the kitten asleep in your arms, and both of you forgetting about the flower crowns on your heads. You both keep up a good conversation throught the walk.
You stroll into the great hall with Harry as it goes silent. Then there was a chorus of gasps as they take in your guys hand held together, both of your somewhat messy hair, swollen lips, and the hickey on Harrys neck. You step away from him and you head towards your friends, you could hear most boys wolf whistling, some scowling at Harry. Many girls were also glaring at you out of jealousy. 
You look at the staff table and see Dumbledore wink at you, making you raise your eyebrows. You also see Snape hand over some galleons to McGonagall. 
“I’m happy for you, Harry,” Hermione smiles, glancing at Ron as she kicks his leg. 
“Oh- yeah! Good going, mate,” he smirks as he pats his back.
The next day Harry asked you if you would be his girlfriend. You nodded with a smile and gave him a soft kiss.
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megalony · 1 year
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Buck Jr
This is an Evan Buckley (Buck) request from anon, thank you for this I had so much fun with this. All the requests have been great, any other 911 requests would be great.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway
Masterlist
Summary: When the team get called out to a car crash pile up on the motorway, they find Buck and his heavily pregnant wife in the middle of the crash.
Enjoy.
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"Just one more month left," Evan glanced his eyes away from the red light ahead of him and over to (Y/n) perched in the passenger seat.
Despite the calmness in his voice, (Y/n) could see the way he was almost bubbling over with anticipation just thinking about it. She could see the way his hands gripped the steering wheel that little bit tighter and he couldn't help but bounce in his seat like a child waiting for Christmas to arrive.
There was only just over five weeks left and then Evan would be able to meet his baby. He couldn't wait; time seemed to have dragged out and gone so slow since they found out they were expecting and he was ready to have his baby in his arms now. Evan loved how his wife looked while she was pregnant, but despite how good and appealing she looked to him, his arms were craving to hold his baby and he was so pumped and ready to be a dad.
"So, where are you putting this picture, baby?" (Y/n) looked down at the photos in her hands before she glanced over at Evan again just as the lights turned green.
During the pregnancy, Evan had made sure he was at each and every appointment (Y/n) had. One time he got the team to drop him off in the truck, all dressed in his uniform just so he could be there to hold (Y/n)'s hand and see his baby on screen.
And each time they had gone to a scan, Evan had collected all the photos and displayed them in various places. He had one in his locker at the station, one on the fridge at home and another one in his wallet. He didn't have much more room to fit another photo in and (Y/n) dared not think what he would be like once their baby was born and he had actual photos of them. There would be a mess of pictures flying everywhere.
"I don't know, I'll find some room in my wallet I think."
(Y/n) nodded along and moved to put the pictures in her bag that rested between her feet. She had been staring at them for long enough, it was time to put them away before Evan reached out and snatched them from her. He was protective over the photos, he loved showing them off but begrudged giving Maddie one for her fridge.
"What do you say we stop somewhere for dinner? I've got the whole day off after all." Evan reached his free hand out until his fingers could smooth over (Y/n)'s stomach. It was hard to keep his eyes on the road when all he wanted to do was sit and stare at his wife until the sun went down and the moon came up.
"Sounds lovely, baby."
He had been working a lot of shifts recently and the team had been great in swapping a few shifts around so he could be home with (Y/n) when she wasn't feeling well and when she had her appointments. Eddie had even covered one of his shifts in the early stages of (Y/n)'s pregnancy when she rang Evan at the station, crying and gasping that she had thrown up so much she passed out and felt too weak to move. Eddie covered for him so he could go home and take her to the hospital and then stay with her when she was admitted in for the night.
Evan was putting in more shifts to make up for the time off Bobby had already agreed to and secured off for him next month ready for the baby.
Going out for something to eat sounded like a good idea, they had been trying to do more things together recently before the baby arrives.
Evan couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his lips and he started to feather his fingers up and down (Y/n)'s stomach for a few moments until he finally let go to hold the wheel again.
Leaning forward, (Y/n) straightened up to click her spine into place before she reached across and turned up the volume on the radio. She had no idea where Evan had decided to go for dinner but she knew he had somewhere in mind when he switched into the outside lane and deliberately missed their turn off that would have taken them the short way home.
With a smile, (Y/n) rubbed her hand up and down Evan's thigh as she slouched back in her seat but her fingers tightened around his leg when she looked out the window and saw a car speeding past them in the inside lane. The dark rouge car flew ahead of them in the other lane but in a split second, the driver swerved across in front of them where there was barely any room to squeeze between Evan and the car in front.
"Fucking hell!"
Evan slammed his foot on the break but his left arm automatically reached out and planted across (Y/n)'s chest, pushing her back into the seat like an additional seatbelt when they both lurched forward.
He kept his arm pinned to her chest until he could release the break and they weren't in danger of crashing.
"Idiot! What the fuck was he doing?" He thrashed his fist on the horn before going back to gripping the steering wheel, ignoring the shaking that set in through his system. "You alright babe?" He didn't want to take his eyes away from the car in front but he had to sneak two then three glances at (Y/n) to calm his mind down and reassure himself she was alright.
(Y/n) kept one hand curled around the door handle and her other hand moved to her chest when it felt like her heart was about to break free of her ribs but she managed to nod her head and whisper a small 'okay'. She didn't want Evan to worry, he had to focus on the idiot in front of them in case he swerved into another lane or caused an accident.
Evan clicked the indicator and moved back into the other lane, he didn't want to be close to the other car.
But moving lanes didn't make a difference.
"You sure you're okay babe? I think I might-"
The horrid sound of metal clashing and colliding broke Evan's speech and he felt the steering wheel jutter beneath his fingertips when he slammed the breaks so fast and harsh that the tyres started to smoke. He couldn't keep the car going straight, as soon as he slowed down the wheels spun out and the car was turning just as they felt another car crashing into the back of them.
The speeding car in front had crashed into the middle barrier and backfired into the line of traffic and their car was next to collide into the growing pile.
A burning scream ricketed against (Y/n)'s throat and teeth and her eyes slammed closed. She could feel her body tensing and pulling inwards and she scraped her shoes down against the floor to try and steady herself and push back in the seat. Her hand tightened around the door handle and her free hand reached out to hold the dashboard when she heard Evan make a noise between a growl and a scream.
Her head collided with the window and the shock caused static to pound through her ears. Nothing but white noise filtered through (Y/n)'s head and she couldn't concentrate or feel anything but the way the car was shaking and how every muscle tensed to the point they were going to snap.
Evan's head thrashed between the steering wheel, the window and the headrest like a pinball and when he hit the wheel for a second time, he blacked out.
A choked cough bubbled past Evan's lips that made his lungs wheeze and burned the back of his throat.
What happened? Where was he? What was he doing?
The moment he opened his eyes, his head started to pound and ache like someone was hitting him with a hammer. All he could see was the black leather steering wheel and he realised it was smushed against the right side of his face. His neck burned when he lifted his head and slowly tilted himself back so he was sitting upright in the chair with his head lolled back on the headrest.
His right arm was tingling and his fingertips felt like they were turning numb and when he looked down, he realised his lower arm and wrist had been trapped between the side of the chair and the door that had been caved in.
"Oow, fuck…" He hissed gruffly as he slowly wrenched his arm free, earning a large scrape of skin to peel back and slowly trickle blood down to his fingers. But he could still bend his wrist and move his fingers, it didn't feel broken; thankfully.
He dared to move a hand over his chest, wincing and stiffening when he felt at least two broken ribs on the lower right side.
Evan let his head loll to the left but felt his heart rocket up into his throat and choke him when he remembered where he was and what he had been doing. They were going out. They were on their way back from a scan.
(Y/n) was with him.
Oh God, she was in the car with him.
A quiet sob bubbled past Evan's lips and he could feel tears burning up in his eyes when he looked at his wife.
"Babe… baby look at me," Evan flung the seatbelt off so harshly it snapped against the window and backfired against his shoulder but he paid it no mind. His eyes were trained on his wife. She was doubled over, arms bound around her waist and forehead leaned down on the dashboard but he knew she wasn't unconscious. He could see her subtly shaking and hear the little murmurs and groans leaving her lips.
Reaching out, he carefully slipped his hand between her forehead and the dashboard and with his other hand on her lower back, he tried to get her to sit up. He needed to look her over and see if she had any injuries.
"Evan…" (Y/n) reached her hand up to grab his wrist when his hand moved down from her forehead to cup her cheek.
"I'm here, I'm okay. Are you alright, let me look at you." Both his hands moved to skim over her frame and see if he could find any injuries.
He could see she had a gash on her forehead, much like the one he knew he had on his temple since he could feel the blood dripping across his brow. But he couldn't see any cuts or patches of blood seeping through her clothes which was a relief. There was no broken glass or jagged pieces of metal sticking out near her.
"My knee a-and my stomach hurt," (Y/n) didn't dare look Evan in the eye but she could feel the way his hands started to shake and hovered near her stomach. He was desperate to touch her but too afraid in case he hurt her or there was something wrong with the baby.
They had been thrown about in all directions, they were lucky the car hadn't turned upside down in the crash but Evan sure felt like he had gone too many rounds on the waltzers. He didn't dare think what it would be like for their baby or what could have happened to them.
"Okay, I… just try not to move,"
Evan desperately looked through the windshield and in the rar view mirror but there was nothing he could do. They were jammed in an increasing patch of cars and they would be backed up for miles in a matter of minutes. He couldn't get them out and they were on the motorway, he couldn't swerve into the next lane and get out and drive them back to the hospital.
But he could feel a small bubble of relief in his chest when he looked at the dash screen. His phone was connected up to the car and it was set up so that if he ever had a crash- just like this- his phone would alert the emergency services. He didn't have to dial 911, they would know already and he knew countless people would be ringing because there was a crash that was inconveniencing them and their day.
"The team will get us out babe, I promise. You just take deep breaths, I've got you until they get here."
His words settled down one of the thousands of (Y/n)'s petrified nerves and she inched forward so rest her head on his shoulder. She felt his arms curve around her waist and start to smooth up and down her back before he kissed the top of her head, keeping his lips there for a while to calm himself down.
They were both shaking and Evan could feel (Y/n)'s silent tears soaking into his shirt so he started to quietly shush her and hum into her hair to see if it would help calm her down. Panicking wouldn't do them any good.
Evan moved one hand to hold the back of (Y/n)'s head and he tilted his head to press his cheek into her hair which also allowed him to look out the broken windscreen. People were starting to get out their cars and move about, that was a good sign. Anyone relatively uninjured could get out and direct the emergency services to those more in need.
If Evan had been alone in the car he would have been out by now and scanning through the other cars to try and find anyone he could help and look after.
But he had (Y/n) with him.
There was no way Evan was getting out the car and leaving her in here alone when she was heavily pregnant and in shock. He wasn't budging an inch away from her. Today, he was off duty. He wasn't the emergency services, he wasn't a fireman helping rescue people, he was one of the civilians who needed help.
"Evan, it hurts." (Y/n) kept her eyes tightly closed and smothered her face deeper into his shoulder as her hands came up to clench around his shirt.
It felt like her stomach was pulsing and throbbing and she didn't like it at all. She had never felt discomfort like this before and she knew she had been tossed around side to side when the car spun.
"I know baby," Moving his hand from (Y/n)'s hair, Evan slipped his aching arm between them and tried to apply pressure to different parts of her stomach. She wasn't whimpering or flinching like her stomach was tender and he could feel some sort of movement which had to be a good sign but other than that, he wasn't sure what he could do or interpret.
Evan flinched when (Y/n) cried into his shirt and she gripped his hand tight, moving his palm lower down to where the sudden burst of pain had come from.
"You're doing so good, just keep breathing through it and stay calm just for a bit longer baby." He leaned back a little to allow (Y/n) to fold over and bury her face in his legs instead, one hand gripping his thigh and the other holding her stomach as she went back to quiet whimpers. And Evan curled around her, kissing her head and smoothing his hands over her lower back as he started to cry too.
"Oh God, Evan… oow Evan!"
(Y/n) gripped Evan's thighs so tightly he could feel her nails pinching into his skin before he held her shoulders and pulled her back up so he could look at her. But when their eyes met, he saw utter fright hiding in her blown pupils and her hands moved to his biceps. Such a horrid howling noise left her lips that made Evan flinch and his jaw dropped but nothing came out. What had happened?
"What? Baby, what is it?"
"My waters… I- I think the baby's coming," (Y/n) moaned through her words and she could barely see her husband from the tears spilling down her face.
She watched his big doe eyes flip from her, down to her legs where a sudden gushing feeling had errupted all over the seat, and then back up to her eyes again.
"Fuck, fuck! Okay, uh… right." Leaning forward, Evan carefully moved (Y/n) back so she was leaning against the chair and he unbuckled her belt. Relief sweltered through him when he jammed his shoulder into his door and it swung open fairly easily. "I'm gonna look if anyone's arrived yet, then I'll move you into the back, okay?"
"Hm." (Y/n) nodded but she couldn't look at him any longer when another pain rippled through her. She tipped her chin down into her chest and breathed through clenched teeth.
Evan didn't like what he saw when he climbed out the car. At least six other cars were banged up and collided in front of them, including the red car that had cut him off earlier. And when he turned and pushed up on his toes to look behind his own car, another half a dozen cars had crashed and beyond them, everyone had come to a stand still.
The only good thing Evan could see was that there was a hard shoulder down his side of the road that was clear. The team and the ambulances could get down there and reach them without having to cut off the other side of the road or make a rounded approach. It was easy access to the crash site which was what he needed to get (Y/n) help.
He realised he had hurt his ankle when he rounded the front of the car and a red hot shooting pain creeped up the back of his left ankle. It wasn't broken, he knew that but it might be sprained or a muscle snapped, whatever it was he ignored it. (Y/n) was the only thing he could think about.
Nothing had hit the front passenger door which was a relief because Evan managed to open it with ease and he leaned back and opened the back door too. If she was going to have the baby here, depending on how long help took to arrive, he needed her in the back seat. It would be too hard to try and crouch down in the footwell and deliver his baby.
God, Evan might have to deliver his own baby!
"Alright baby, let's get you in the back."
Crouching down in front of her, Evan gently held her legs and turned her round until her feet were dangling down between his legs. He let her dig her fingertips into his shoulders when he secured his arms around her waist and slowly pulled her up, taking her weight when he felt her knees cave in immediately.
"I got you, you're okay," He reassured, speaking into her hair as he slowly started to shuffle away from the door and towards the back seat instead.
(Y/n) buried her face in Evan's shoulder and let him slowly ease her back until his hips brushed against hers and his legs were planted either side of her thighs, caging her beneath him. He lowered her down onto the back seat and effortlessly took her weight again to shuffle her further into the back.
She tried to tilt a little and leaned her back up against the seat, reaching across to brush her thumb against Evan's lower lip for a moment when he hovered over her to grab his jacket that he'd left there earlier.
"Alright babe, let's take a look at you. Good job I've done this with Cap before."
***
"Alright, you all know the drill. Major pile up in the middle of the freeway, if anyone can walk for help direct them to the paramedics. Shout out if you need to cut someone out the car, find anyone stuck and get them free. Chimney you're with me, Eddie go with Hen."
Bobby strapped on his helmet and nodded at his team but his eyes frowned when he looked over at Eddie.
They had parked up on the hard shoulder a few feet away from the crash since the ambulances needed to get round and them be closer to the scene so they could drive ahead and get out of the mess.
"Eddie, what's up?"
"Cap, the blue ford…" Something stirred in Eddie's chest and his fingers curled tighter around his helmet in his hand when he scanned his eyes over the mess. Right off to the right near the middle barrier was a navy blue ford that looked beat up and bashed about, but Eddie knew who drove a car exactly like that and he knew said person wasn't on shift today.
This was the direction away from the hospital where Eddie knew Buck had gone to this morning, he hadn't been able to talk about anything else except how excited he was to have a day off and be with (Y/n).
"What about it?"
"It's Buck!" Eddie dropped his helmet and set off into a sprint the moment he saw a familiar crop of sandy curls come into view when the tall figure stood up next to the car. It was Buck, he could tell it was him from a mile off. He was in the middle of the mess.
Eddie could hear Bobby shouting something through the throng of sirens and panicked cries but he didn't bother trying to make out what he said. And he knew Hen was following close behind him but he didn't slow down to wait for her. If Buck was here trapped in all this then that meant (Y/n) was here too. A pregnant woman in a car crash was never a good thing.
"Buck! Hey, Buck we're here mate! We're here." He waved his arm out to signal his arrival and shuffled the medic bag higher on his other shoulder when he got close and weaved through to Buck's car.
Something rattled in Eddie's chest when he watched Buck pull his shirt over his head and wipe it across his brow before he went back to kneel down in front of the open back seat. What the Hell was he doing? Was he injured- God, was (Y/n) injured? How long had they been here without help?
He barely reached the before Evan spun his upper body round and grabbed Eddie's wrist with what could only be described as desperation.
"The baby's coming!"
Evan was more relieved than he could say that he had been on a few callouts over the years and witnessed women giving birth. It meant he knew roughly what he was expecting and what he was supposed to do to help until someone could get them to the hospital.
He had laid his jacket out on the backseat but the baby was coming now and he had nothing but his shirt to take off so when the baby was here, he had something to wrap them up in and keep his newborn warm.
"Hen, (Y/n)'s in labour over here! Alright (Y/n), how you doing?" Eddie slung the medic bag onto the floor and knelt down beside Evan on the road but when Hen approached, (Y/n) shook her head.
"No one else! I- I don't want anyone else, please…"
"Okay baby, just me and Eddie that's okay." Evan turned to look over at Hen, apologies already burning in his eyes and forming on his tongue but she held her hands out and started moving towards the next car. Hen could understand (Y/n) not wanting a big scene, she wasn't comfortable in this situation and too many people surrounding her was only going to make her feel worse.
"We can handle this, can't we Buck? Did your waters break?"
"Yeah, and she's already started pushing," Evan rested his hand on (Y/n)'s knee when she didn't bother to respond. She couldn't find anything to say when another contraction hit, all she could do was cry and grit her teeth until they were grating down together.
"You work fast, eh?" With a smile, Eddie snapped on a pair of gloves but he stopped and waited when (Y/n) started to move. He could see she wasn't the least bit comfy or relaxed back here and it was understandable, but they didn't have time to move her when she was already so close and giving birth in a stationary car was preferable to a moving ambulance. "Any injuries we need to take care of?"
Pushing forward, (Y/n) wrapped her left arm around the back of the headrest and pulled herself forward so she was sitting up as much as she could, (Y/n) didn't want to slouch back any longer. She tucked her face into the headrest like she was trying to smother herself and with her free hand, (Y/n) reached down and pulled Evan's hand tight until she could hold it up against her chest.
Something close to a smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips when she felt him move and kiss her thigh.
"Y-your arm," (Y/n)'s voice was barely more than a whisper but when she cracked an eye open to look at her husband, he was shaking his head with pursed lips.
"It'll wait," Evan couldn't even feel his arm anymore. The skin was still loose and scraped back but it didn't matter, the adrenaline was so fast and consistent in his body that it numbed everything. His arm would be fine until they got to the hospital, he just wanted his baby in his arms and his wife to be alright.
"God, Evan please… fuck, can I push again?"
When (Y/n) tugged on his arm again, Evan got the hint and bypassed Eddie, climbing into the footwell that didn't fit his large frame very well. He leaned his weight onto his knees that pushed into the chair and curved his frame around (Y/n) so his chest was against her shoulder and he could kiss her temple. She kept tight hold of his hand that was still smothered against her chest so his arm was wrapped around her like a comforting blanket.
"You keep pushing you're doing great, I can see the head already."
(Y/n) let her head fall back onto Evan's shoulder and she moved to kiss his neck and she had to hold back the urge to bite down and give him a dark bruise when the pain made her jaw clench. But Evan didn't even shiver or jolt against her when she screamed into his neck, he soaked up the sound and instead started to hum against her hair, letting her deadlock her fingers around his wrist that had gone numb a while back.
"…And the head's here," The smile that lit up Eddie's face made a knot in (Y/n)'s stomach slowly untangle. He didn't look panicked or overly concerned or like he was trying to take control of a bad situation, he was relaxing and it made (Y/n) feel more at ease.
She could feel Evan laughing into her hair, the feeling rumbled through his bare chest and vibrated through (Y/n)'s skin and he just had to lean forward to get a look.
"Another c…contraction,"
"Keep pushing baby, you're doing so great, I can't wait to have them in my arms."
Evan leaned forward when (Y/n) did the same and he kept his chest smothered against her back but he just couldn't resist from getting closer. He kept his left arm secured around (Y/n)'s lower waist but he reached his right hand down to see and touch the baby.
"Alright (Y/n) you're so close now, push again for me… Buck get ready." Eddie grabbed Buck's shirt that was laid in the footwell and nodded up at his friend to signal it was almost time.
(Y/n) tightened her left arm around the headrest to keep her weight up and moved her right hand to hold onto Evan's bicep, allowing him to lean around her because she knew what he was desperate for. He wanted to hold their baby the moment they were born and Eddie could see it too.
With a final scream and a blinding pain that sent spots dancing across her vision, (Y/n) slumped against the seat as Evan doubled over and stretched his arms out like he was reaching for the sun.
"Here he is! Buck Jr," Eddie laughed triumphantly, swaddling the baby boy in his dad's shirt before he slowly handed the bundle up to Evan who had tears trecking down his face.
Evan stayed doubled over with his abdomen resting on his knees and his arms outstretched towards Eddie. He didn't dare move an inch until Eddie had clamped and cut the cord, he couldn't pull back without it being cut unless he wanted to risk pulling on the placenta and harm (Y/n) in the process. But once the cord was safety cut off, Evan stretched back up and shakily tilted his boy around so he was laid on his bare chest.
He was a mix of soft blushing pink and the lightest shade of orange, covered in a protective layer of white fluid and droplets of blood, but he was perfect. It was mesmerising how Evan's large hand covered almost the whole spa of his boy's back when he patted to make sure he was crying properly and his airways were clear.
"God, he's beautiful." Turning to the side, Evan leaned over so (Y/n) could see their boy before he smothered her temple with his lips and felt her trembling hands rub over his jaw and neck.
"Cap, we have Buck Jr safely delivered, do you have an ambulance available?" Eddie spoke into his radio before he wrapped up the placenta and stood to his feet. They needed to get (Y/n) to the hospital to be checked over just to be safe and Buck needed patching up too.
"Well done guys! The second ambulance is all yours, Hen grab the stretcher."
"He's okay, isn't he?" (Y/n) dared to brush a trembling finger across the newborn's cheek but she couldn't help but worry. He had been bashed about a lot and forced into the world a bit earlier than planned. It was a miracle he didn't have the cord wrapped round his neck or some sort of trauma or shock from the abrupt crash.
"They'll check him over at the hospital but he seems just fine, he's a tough cookie. Come on Buck," Eddie flagged him out when he heard Hen approaching fast with a stretcher.
Evan slowly climbed out onto unsteady legs and he could feel his knees wobbling from the adrenaline high that was going to wear off soon. But when he looked between his baby boy and his wife, he slowly turned towards Eddie and carefully slipped the newborn back into his arms.
"I got you babe," He curved his arms beneath (Y/n)'s and shuffled her as carefully as he could to the edge of the seat before he looped his arm beneath her knees. He could feel Eddie hovering beside him and Hen close behind, just in case he wobbled or fell but he didn't need help. He'd picked (Y/n) up a thousand times and despite how many times she told him she was too heavy now she was pregnant, he could carry her like she weighed nothing more than a feather. Even in his rattled state, he could do this blindfolded.
Her arms curved around his neck and she kissed his neck when he carried her out of the car and over to the stretcher Hen had gotten ready for them.
When she was safely on the stretcher, Evan didn't need to say anything for Eddie to pass him back his son. Just the feel of his boy in his arms had Evan grinning like a fool and puffing his chest out like the proud dad he now was.
"Do we have a name for the little guy?"
"Didn't you hear Eddie? Buck Jr."
"Evan no!"
1K notes · View notes
periprose · 1 year
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Fly Away
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Michael Berzatto x Reader
You're a family friend of the Berzattos and you're invited to have fun at their annual Christmas dinner. You think you still harbor feelings for Carmy, but as the evening progresses, you feel something for his brother.
Genre: friends to lovers, former crush on carm, really everything w carm is mostly platonic, unrequited stuff, insecurities, age gaps (reader and carm are 25, Michael is 38), takes place in 2017, takes place in S2E6, lots of angst, anxiety, some fluff, no use of y/n (you have a nickname: Birdie)
Word count: 11k
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There’s a bauble and trinket everywhere you look. Festive, Christmas spirit seems to ebb from the very walls of the Berzatto household– and you would be remiss not to compliment it vocally in some way.
Donna is clearly waiting, teetering on a response from you as you take everything in from the front door. And you know how she reacts if you don’t say things in that perfect, supportive tone that she so desperately thrives off of.
“Wow, Mrs. Berzatto!” You clasp your hands, trying not to seem too cloying or ironic. “I love what you’ve done with the house. Such an eye for details.”
“Oh, stop.” She giggles, and lightly taps your shoulder as she takes your coat and hangs it up in the closet. 
“No, really. I wish my house was so… Christmassy this time of year.” You shrug, knowing that your dad isn’t the festive type after divorcing your mother.
“Aw. Well, we have love to spread here.” It’s a strange unseen sympathy coming from Donna, and she pulls you inside, and you take off your shoes, shuffling around in your socks and your comfy, hopefully chic, green loose turtleneck sweater. “Except you might have to wait a bit, because some of these fuckers are late.”
There’s that bitter tone you remember from Donna. You don’t really care for that– you tend to have an avoidant personality especially with how your own mother acts sometimes– and she yells out for Carmy and Mikey to greet you.
“Boys! Birdie’s here!” She calls from the stairs, and you suddenly feel self conscious.
Ever since your dad, a former co-worker and friend of Cicero’s, starting taking you as a teenager to these Berzatto hangouts, you have always had a eye for Carmen. It was hard not to be, seeing this bashful, slightly angry, awkward boy, around the same age as you, with dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes. You felt like sometimes, he really, really listened to you, and that was all you needed.
You wish you could be there for him too. 
It’s something you’ve never acted on, never bothered to actually approach him about– he always seemed so absorbed by his own thing.
You relished in the fact that he never had a girlfriend. You felt secure in that, because he just seemed safe. And it’s not like he would’ve been mean about rejecting you if he knew– you were always close to the Berzatto siblings. You were Bear and Birdie, ready to head out on a walk together, while the adults gossiped and drank.
Of course, you haven’t seen him in about… two years now. Around after he left to his apartment, and did his chef-education-training (you’re a bit vague on the details, honestly), and ever since then, as far as you know he’s slowly been doing what he loves. He does text you from time to time, but you’d be overstating those texts’ importance if you pretended it really quantified a relationship.
Mikey clambers down the stairs, wearing what looks to be pajamas, or very chill homebody clothes, and he raises his arm in a big, Italian gesture.
“Oh! Is that little Bird I see?” He exclaims, and pulls you into an eager hug. Maybe a little too eager– you think it’s almost as if you’re comforting him as you hug him back, his face coming down onto your shoulder, as he encapsulates you– and he pulls away, grinning.
He actually looks really good. You don’t know when you started thinking that Mikey was good looking, but it’s true– he has a certain, rough around the edges appeal that you find yourself drawn to.
“Merry Christmas. You’ve been keeping away from us.” Mikey points as you, intended as a stern remark, but you snort.
“Yeah, Merry Christmas. I’ve been busy with work and law school, Michael. I’m not a kid anymore.” You resist the urge to comment on his beard, and then do it anyways. “Are you sure I’ve been keeping away? You’re the one with a hermit-ass beard.”
“Oh… they grow up and just start taking shots at you, don’t they, Ma?” Mikey places his hand over his heart, as if he’s wounded, and Donna shakes her head in agreement, before heading back to the kitchen, already seeming annoyed about something. “Beards are fashionable in 2017, Bird. Maybe come back to our current time– no reason for you to start dressing like a grandma already.”
You scoff at that, pointing at your sweater. “It’s semi-formal, c’mon! It looks nice. Respect the gathering’s rules.”
“It’s my house, babe.” Mikey leans in with maybe a little too much comfort, his eyes shining with some warmth, mirth even, and you don’t exactly pull away– the guy is like thirteen years older than you, and even if he does kid around, play up an older brother thing, you’ve started feeling like he’s restraining something more as of late, maybe some primal level of attraction that he knows better than to mess around with. You know that the feeling is kind of mutual– but you really don’t know how to quantify it. “I’m man of the house, and I say you should wear something that maybe, uh, shows off the pretty twenty-five year old that you are.”
The last part of this sentence has you swallowing a little, and you feel your face turning warm, and Mikey himself looks embarrassed that he’s said it, that he’s given a bit of evidence to your theories– he seems to brush something off, inside himself. 
You have never thought you were all that. You’ve always been pretty sure you should be glad that you’ve gotten by without having to worry about your looks. The idea of wearing a nice, somewhat revealing dress to the Berzattos’ house has you cringing, because you know it would just be… bad. 
“I’m not–” Mikey scowls at himself and you can visibly see himself fighting something, looking a little anxious, and you tentatively grasp his forearm.
“I know what you mean. I’m not offended.” You smile slightly, making the effort to calm him down a little, because you would never want Michael to beat himself up over you (he really seems to do that as of late and you know you’re not worth the trouble), and he nods and inhales. “You look good, too.”
“Right. Right on, Birdie. You can do what you want, anyways. Not up to me.” He seems to really dial back some of what he said, and before you can respond, Carmy walks downstairs.
“Hi. Hey, Birdie. Merry Christmas.” He says, kind of quietly, and you find yourself somewhat happy to hear him say your nickname again. Carmy looks especially nice– deep blue has always been his colour, it brightens up his eyes– and he has slightly longer hair than you remember. 
He leans in for a brief but firm hug, and glances at your eyes once, before looking towards the floor again.
Mikey nods and proceeds to exit to the kitchen, and you’re left with Carmy grappling with what to say.
“How have you–”
“How’s law sch–”
Carmy coughs awkwardly, and you find your face turning warm as he looks towards you.
“Sorry, Bear.” You let him speak, hoping not to scare him away. “How’s everything? You okay?”
“Yeah. Uh… well, I’ve been training at Copenhagen?” He furrows his brows, runs his hand through his hair. “Just learning as much as I can.”
“Oh. Uh-huh.” Your curiosity is piqued– you didn’t know he was in Denmark, much to your disappointment– but you want to pry more of an answer out of him. He doesn’t seem interested in talking about it more than that. 
“Sorry. Sorry. Stupid answer, there’s just not much to say.” Carmy shrugs, and then realizes suddenly that you’ve been standing at the foyer of the house for quite some time now, which isn’t very polite or inviting of him. “Wait, hold on. Let’s go sit inside and talk.”
Carmy makes some offhand comment about how you need to speak up sometimes and stop being so nice and accommodating to idiots like him, and you snicker, knowing that this is the Carmy you remember– snarky, ready to fight people on sometimes, even if he is a little weird and bashful. Although he’s short– he makes up for it with his resilience.
Carmy leads you through golden-lit hallways, a certain pepperminty, pine tree scent seeming to overlay the entire house, and there’s bushels and wreathes and mistletoe everywhere, and somehow even more baubles, ornaments, trinkets, knickknacks, all gold and red and warm tones that do make you feel a little fuzzy.
Carmy sits you down in the living room, on the sofa, and you’re next to him, and you place a foot under your knee, trying to feel casual. Not freaking out about him sitting right next to you. Weirdly enough… you don’t think you feel anything anxiety inducing. 
Perhaps you’re just getting more reassured of yourself with age. 
“So? How is Copenhagen, otherwise? I know Denmark is really interesting, but you’re probably busy with chef stuff, huh?” You prod just a little further. Just out of your own personal curiosity to see how far Carmy will go for you, and he nods. “Any friends?”
“Ah…” Carmy winces a little. “Can’t say if he’s a friend yet, but there is this guy that’s out of this world with pastries. I don’t know if I can meet his standard on that.”
“Oh, please.” You roll your eyes. “Bear, you make my dad cookies all the time. Or, well, you used to. You can’t be that bad at it, considering that he always eats all of them.”
“Oh, really? Fuck, man.” Carmy looks at you in disbelief, settling more into his corner of the couch, closer to the tree, but looking more openly at you. You feel yourself cower a little under his watchful gaze. “I didn’t know your dad enjoyed them that much… I would’ve made more. Did you ever try them?”
“Hm?” You were getting lost in the details around Carmy– the dark blue shirt, the little bits of stubble around his jaw, the tattoos peeping out from under his long sleeves– and you nod. “Ah, I tried a batch around the last time you gave him some. I think it was… macadamia, matcha, white chocolate? Really good.”
Carmy is unreadable, his eyes flickering from the ground to your eyes– you think maybe you’ve embarrassed him a little– but he thanks you. “Where is your dad, anyways?”
“Ah. He’s got the flu, and he was kind enough to not want to infect you guys.” You admit. “Even though he was trying his best to walk over here from our house.”
Carmy remembers that you live in the neighbourhood over. You two used to hang out a lot during elementary and high school. He kind of missed you– something he’d never say out loud, but Carmy knows friends are few with him, and you were always a good friend to him growing up. You were always a comforting presence for him– you never asked him for too much, and he could tell you were being careful to do so. No pressure.
You just became really busy with law school, and he became really busy with chef stuff, and now you’re both… you both just lost touch. He feels bad about it– bad like he always does, with former friends and acquaintances from high school that he’s accidentally ghosted and lost– but at least you don’t seem to be annoyed about it. 
He thinks it’s probably because in this case, you pulled away just as much as he had to.
“How’s law school, anyways?” Carmy counts the years in his head. “You’ve either just finished or you’re in your final year?”
“I’m in my final year.” You stretch out your arms, looking eager. “It’s a lot of work– I’m only here because I’m lucky enough to have a bit of a break in the winter months, and I’m ahead on my courses. But, uh… I don’t know. It’s fun.”
“Fun? Wow.” Carmy grins a little. 
“What?”
“I don’t know, Birdie. Fun is more… fucking, I don’t know, fireworks or something? Drugs, maybe, yeah.” Carmy watches as you laugh, and laugh, at what he’s said, and again he’s never really sure what’s so funny about what he’s said, but he likes to hear you laugh.
“Clearly you don’t know either.” You snort, and lightly punch his arm. “When did we become workaholics?”
“Probably when we became, uh, adults and entered the workforce.” Carmy states, and you wrinkle your brows.
“We’re not really in the workforce yet, but–”
“What, really? C’mon. You’re a fucking receptionist or some shit, right?”
“Business administration specialist.”
“Yeah, there you go. That’s work, especially with all the school you have to do.” Carmy shrugs. “But what do you really want to be, then?”
“Oh, we getting into dreams, then?” You cock an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t think you cared that much, Bear.”
Carmy, for some reason he can’t detect, turns a little red. “No, of course I do. We’re still friends, right?”
“Acquaintances.”
“For real?” Carmy looks back at you, affronted, but you have a little smile and he knows you’re teasing. “Oh fuck you. Stop it.”
“Sorry, sorry.” You shake your head, giggling a little, glad to have so easily fallen back into a comfortable, friendly banter. “Of course we’re friends, it’s just that… I always thought very highly of you, Carmen, and I can’t always be sure that feeling was returned. You know? I assumed that you’d be out doing sophisticated cooking in big, upscale restaurants, and the rest of us would just be reading about it. Forgive me for feeling a little behind it all.”
“No, no, no. You got it all wrong, Birdie.” Carmy half-laughs at how you put him on such a pedestal. “You were always the one doing real work, as Mom would call it. You’re the one who’s actually smart and good at arguing, debating– that’s a real skill coming from me, because I just yell fuck at everyone and hope it works. I always thought you were the impressive one out of all of us.”
You snicker, but you’re actually quite pleased with that, and you feel your heart warm at his praise. “Ah, that’s so sweet. Thank you. If it makes you feel better, I’ve been surviving off of ramen and convenience store food for the last month. I can hardly make the time to cook efficiently.”
“...” Carmy shakes his head. “That doesn’t make me feel better. You’re gonna eat good food today then, I hope.”
Almost as if on cue, Donna calls for Carmy to come help her with something– and you’re left sitting as he tells you that he’s going to hear about your dream job when he gets back.
/
Fifteen minutes later– Carmy is still MIA, and you’re starting to get a little hungry. 
You know it’s rude, but luckily Michael comes by and asks if you want a snack.
“Yeah, how’d you know?” You ask, and Michael snickers.
“You’re the same girl that can eat a whole number four combo at the Beef. I’m pretty sure you were hungry before you got here.” Michael jokes, and you blush in embarrassment.
“Oh my god, stop it.” You shake your head. “Anyways, yeah. A snack would be nice.”
Michael gives you a wink that strangely has you a little twitterpated, before you shake that off. He comes back a few minutes later, chewing on something himself– and he hands you a bowl full of Italian sausage stirfry.
“Thanks, Michael.” You smile up at him, and he nods, trying not to smile too much back at your gratitude, but he likes how you take a bite and look super relieved, happy with the food. He’s always loved giving food to people– taking care of them. Especially you, for some reason.
Michael heads back to the kitchen, and Natalie comes by and takes his place.
“Birdie!” She hugs you tightly, and you hug her back, equally happy. “Oh my gosh, if I knew you were down here I would’ve come by ages ago!”
“Aw.” You beam at her. “That’s okay, Nat. I’m happy to see you too.”
She’s off ranting about how Pete, her husband, is late, and how she can barely manage everything going on, and you’re sympathetic. You know Nat gets more of a harsh treatment from Donna, and you tell her that you’re there if she needs a person on her side.
“Oh, Birdie. I couldn’t do that to you. Even if you are amazing at talking, Miss Lawyer-to-be.” She lets you continue to sit down in your corner of the living room, as she heads off to check on her mom– maybe pour out some alcohol.
 Carmy comes back in, slightly powdered with flour on his forehead– and he sits back down, sighing, as he drinks a glass of water.
There’s the slightest air of awkward tension still– even if you and Carmy have fallen back into your old ways, he still keeps a slight distance, one that he’s grown into, and you feel that you have to break the silence. You don’t know if he’s just tired or if there’s some level of irritation of having to deal with all the holiday bullshit, but you take a guess it has to do with Donna.
“That bad?” You grimace, and Carmy matches your expression.
“That bad.” He shakes his head. “She always gets a little woo-woo around these fucking events. Like, I never wanted her to do all of this– but she insists and insists and doesn’t know how to let go of the, uh…”
“Hubris.” 
“Yes. Hubris.” Carmy sighs, glad you still have the perfect word for everything. “Whatever. Anyways, haven’t forgotten. Hit me with your dream.”
“Okay, it’s going to sound a little weird, but, um… I’m really interested in becoming a labour relations lawyer?” You feel almost too much glee at the fact that Carmy remembered, and you see Carmy bite his lip, a little confused, so you continue, hoping you don’t sound like too much of a fucking nerd. “Meaning to help employees get out of their shitty situations with wages, working hours, benefits and fight for their rights. Union stuff. I don’t know, just feels like everyone is struggling with this nowadays… might as well push forward and try to help them out.”
“Wow, now that you’ve said that, it makes a lot of sense.” Carmy blinks. “I mean, uh, it’s not just that you’re good at arguing– you always go for the justice part of things. Remember when Michael and Sugar were arguing about cleaning the basement?”
You do remember that. You suggested dividing up either equally or by who owned what, and they eventually came to an agreement based on that. Michael wanted to dip because he was older, and Sugar thought it was demeaning to ask a girl to clean.
“Or when Lee said that women can’t think analytically, or what was it… mathematically?” Carmy laughs as he watches your face turn angry again.
“Yeah. I especially remember that. I told him to think about Ada Lovelace and to shut up.” You wince. “Maybe not the most mature thing I’ve ever said. I don’t think that’s such a great thing… sometimes I don’t know when to let go of arguments.”
“It’s alright, it was funny.” Carmy plays with his fingers. “That being said, I think you’ll be good if you choose to be that. A labour relations lawyer. You’re smart, and god fucking knows we all need the help. You should check out how many chefs get fucked over because they work at places for the prestige of doing so.”
“Damn.” You make a mental note of that, feeling embarrassed over how much praise Carmy has freely given you. “Is that going to be you?”
“Doesn’t matter if it is. Sometimes you gotta do what you can.” Carmy doesn’t really give you a clear answer, and you feel bad for him. Bad that he’s still stuck in that mindset.
/
You can hear people hooting and jeering near the stairs, as you walk around the house, exploring a little. Tiff was grateful that you visited her for a brief moment– she told you being pregnant was not all it was cracked up to be– and now you’re just on the upper floor, near the stair railing, on your phone.
You’re not really one to eavesdrop, but you hear– you believe it’s Mikey and Richie– they’re chanting “Claire! Claire Bear!”
Your stomach drops, as you hear them hoot about how hot she is, whoever this Claire girl is– how stacked she is, apparently, the banging body she has, the glasses no longer ruining her appearance– and although you know it’s gross men talk, there’s a small, sad part of you that wants to be perceived as attractive, too. 
Still, even as you find yourself frowning and turning away in disgust, you can’t stop yourself from listening.
You remember her. Claire, one of the neighbours down the street. Went to the same high school as you and Carmy. She was really something, someone of note if you remember the popular kid cliques correctly, but she had largely gone unnoticed by you, and it wasn’t for any reason in particular. You can’t be close with every person in high school.
But still– you feel jealous. Just a teeny bit. What was so different about her?
Sure, she was a nice girl. But weren’t you? You arguably had more history with the Berzattos, and yet… it’s as if you’ve simply blended into the wallpaper, their assortment of home decor and furniture. You’ve always been here, and so you don’t stand out.
You might never stand out.
You can hear Carmy trying his best to argue against them, asking them what they did, telling them to fuck off with their teasing– but he sounds sheepish, embarrassed, righteously mortified in the telltale way one would be when they have a crush, and you feel sick. 
They’re heaping compliments on her. You know what they mean when they talk about her like this– she’s the clear, obvious choice, probably closer to the family, more interesting, more affectionate, a genius. You don’t really know Claire that well, but apparently, she’s perfect. And you know you, in your silly frumpy sweater, in your attempts to dress up– you are not. You feel humiliated that you even believed Mikey when he said you were pretty– he was clearly complimenting you just to be nice. 
You weren’t even an idea in their minds, not for Carmy, anyways. You don’t even think Carmy is capable of seeing you like that now, and it’s with a crushing blow that you realize you were holding out hope. Mistaking familiarity for affection.
It’s a rookie mistake. One that you thought you were self aware enough not to make, because you’ve always known Carmen Berzatto was just out of reach for you.
You wait for them to leave, and come down the stairs, running into Carmy as he groans in annoyance.
/
Carmy says he needs to wipe some of the flour out of his hair, and you let him go upstairs, not really wanting to look at him, doing everything you can to make your way back to the living room unnoticed. In the meanwhile, Michael comes back and flops into Carmy’s seat on the sofa, next to where you sit, sullen.
“Hey, Birdie.” Michael starts, and you can’t read his tone, and you’re a little annoyed with his fake-nice attention. “Why not sit with me, the Faks, Michelle and Stevie? They’re really good people, I promise.”
“How do you know I’m avoiding people?” You snap back, maybe a little too aggrieved.
“It’s written all over your face, little Birdie.” He touches his knee to yours, and you bite your lip, swallowing your confusion, and Mikey enjoys the fact that you’ve chosen to wear a deep, brick-red Christmas lip colour. It’s hot– he doesn’t get how you don’t seem to be aware that you’re attractive.
He wants to kiss you. Maybe mess up that fancy lipstick and that sweet, annoyingly justice oriented, always-right character of yours. But he keeps it to himself.
“Don’t be antisocial. You of all people shouldn’t be alone during the holidays.”
“I’m not trying to be antisocial. I promise.” You shrug, trying to keep your emotions, that sinking feeling in your gut at bay– the last thing you want is for Michael to see you upset. “I was keeping Bear company, but I can come sit with you guys.” 
“That’s my girl.” Michael pulls you up by the arm, and you can feel your face warming at his choice of words– you like being in Michael’s good graces, even if you feel less than great right now.
Michelle, cousin of the Berzattos, has always been sweet to you. She’s impressive in her own right, and as you sit down in front of her and Stevie– she gushes about New York.
“Ah, that’s not to say Chicago isn’t impressive. Right, Birdie?” She smiles at you, not unkindly, and you feel happy to be included. 
“Right.” You shrug, knowing that the law firm you work at isn’t all that crazy. You can’t shake the feeling that you’re nothing special, not after what transpired just a few minutes ago, and you voice it. “It’s just okay.”
“No, c’mon. You work at one of the top fucking law firms in the city– you’re gonna make it.” Michael admonishes you. “Out of us Chicagoans, I mean, Michelle, before you take offense.”
“Yeah, Mish.” Richie echoes, popping up out of nowhere.
“None taken.” Michelle fixes her eyes between you and Michael– perhaps reading on something that you’re not even really sure how to understand, let alone explain– and she laughs. “Anyways, what was I saying? Right.”
She launches into a story about hating a woman who didn’t understand the Berzatto name. It’s quite funny– you find yourself laughing every now and then, the dull ache in your heart less noticeable, especially with how good Michelle is at telling stories, and somewhere along the story, Michael’s hand has stayed intertwined with yours, without you really noticing. You only notice when he lets go, and again– a pitfall in your stomach, wondering if Michael just feels familiar around you because there’s nothing to be attracted to and thus respectful of– and it’s such a stupid thought, but you still just know you want to feel wanted. You want to get a hold on yourself– remind yourself you’re not owed attraction and there’s nothing wrong with Mikey or Carmy seeing you as just a friend.
You realize with a start that you’re feeling confused about Michael, too. Was it just a weird quirk of his, calling every single girl pretty just for laughs? Could you even trust what he said? Why does Michael’s opinion of you feel way more pertinent and important than Carmy’s does?
You find yourself mulling over these thoughts, not sure of what’s going on around you, and you hear Michael tell the Fak bros, Ned and Ted, to shut up about California, which they do.
Donna starts screaming in the background, which causes you to turn abruptly. “Oh, fuck me!”
Michael turns and looks at you with some caution– he’s used to his mother’s outbursts, but he never ever wants you to face them. You don’t deserve that, you’ve probably never done anything to deserve it. Not like him.
Stevie gets up, much to the surprise of everyone around him. “Looks like Auntie D needs help, huh?”
“No, no, no.” Everyone tries to stop him, including you.
“What?”
Michelle pushes him back down, but he gets back up, resilient. 
Lee decides to comment in. “Let him, why not?”
“I’m sure she could use a few extra hands. I’m going.” He goes, and you stand up to follow, not willing to let an innocent person get dragged into Donna’s insanity.
“Wait, Birdie. Where are you going?” Michael holds your hand again, and you turn red at his action– a little angry, a little glum that he seems to care for you, and you can’t even be grateful for it. “Don’t throw yourself to the wolves. It’s not fucking worth it.”
“Not throwing myself– just want to make sure Stevie is protected.” You move forward, your face stony, and Michael lets go of you, sighing as he wraps his blanket around himself, wondering when you got all pissed off, but glad that you’re not so upset that you wouldn’t act all lawyer-y for Stevie.
Lee is glancing at him, while Michelle looks pleased as punch.
“What? What the fuck are these expressions?” Michael looks around questioningly, and Richie gives him a side glance.
“When’d you get all sweet on her, bro?” Richie gags a little. “Not that she’s not your type, but, uh–”
“I’m just being friendly.” Michael dismisses him, leaning back in his seat. “It’s the holidays, she shouldn’t be lonely.”
“Bullshit you are.” Richie sniggers, and Michael lightly shoves him.
“Yeah, I call bullshit too.” Michelle grins. “I can see it– you’re blushing.”
Michael groans, hating to be so obviously vulnerable in front of everyone. 
“Well I, for one, think it’s a huge, fucking catastrophic mistake.” Lee starts, and Michael feels himself blanch under the judgement of this guy. “You’re going to ruin that young woman’s potential if you go around messing with her.”
“Lee, she’s not that young–” Neil starts. “I think she can decide that herself?”
“Whatever. This one knows he isn’t right for her– always wants what he can’t have.” Lee mutters, and Michael feels that white-hot rage– the anger he feels bubbling inside of him as of late. 
He does his best to swallow it down, but a part of him knows that it’s true. As much as Michael enjoys your random visits over the past two years, he knows– you’re too good for someone like him. Too young, too selfless, too honest and good and pretty, and he feels an overwhelming wave of shame that he came so close. It’s like he just… doesn’t know how to be a good, responsible person, and it kills him on the inside that he could be so shameful, be so abhorrent and take advantage of you like that, and even if there is a tiny part of him screaming that it’s not so black and white– that you could be just as interested, of your own volition, in him as he is in you– he feels guilt. 
Michael is ashamed of who he is. Over, and over, there’s that feeling again– kill yourself– that he doesn’t know how to suppress, and he ignores it as he starts up a new story.
/
Natalie is tearing up as Stevie hugs her.
You came towards them in the midst of Donna yelling for Stevie to get the fuck out of the kitchen, and Sugar shushing him and shoving him away, and you now place a hand on her shoulder– clearly Stevie has it handled, somewhat.
When he lets go, she sniffles and you smile encouragingly, albeit a little sadly, and Natalie wipes away a tear. 
“It’s okay. It’s fine, it’s nothing. You don’t need to talk to her.” She starts, and you shake your head.
“I’m not going to. I can see that would make things worse.” You squeeze her shoulders, and Stevie nods.
“Yeah, Natalie. But we’re here. We’ll always be here if you want to talk.” He tries, and you smile at her– but something about Nat’s slightly upset, off putting expression, and Donna’s grumbling in the background– you feel your heart seizing a little at the tense emotions, so similar to your own, and you excuse yourself.
You walk until you reach the pantry, hot tears already working their way down your face. Every single negative emotion have come to a head, and you’re in terrible danger of having to explain things if you don’t get it together in under ten minutes or so.
You sit on the high table in the pantry, trying not to cry anymore than you already have, your head between your knees– but something about today has all your nerves on edge, and you know it’s because you put in some effort to come here, to see your dear friends, to look appealing enough, to be someone worth talking to, and now you feel as if they never really cared about you at all. 
You know these are lousy, immature feelings. You know you can be above them if you really, truly tried, but you let yourself sink into them further, because something about this environment is terrible and you just can’t let it go.
Even worse, no one has really done anything wrong. If this was a court case, you wouldn’t even have any evidence to make a claim. You’re simply confused, perhaps looking at things from the wrong angles– but the fact that you can’t look at this rationally makes you feel worse. As if you’re not as smart as you believed.
You don’t know how long you’ve been in here, when you hear someone shuffle into the pantry, next to you– it’s Michael.
He’s quick on his feet– you try to move away, let him grab whatever household ingredient he needed– but his full attention is on you as his eyes narrow, scanning your tear stained face and your hunched over body.
“Birdie?”
You can’t quite look at him, and you desperately try to wipe your tears, burying your face more between your knees. 
“Hey, no. Birdie.” He shakes his head, grabs your arms. He thinks it’s a little strange he’s had to cheer up two different people in the pantry, but he chalks it up to how his house always is. “What happened? Was it Ma?”
“No.” You sight and swallow down the sobs in your throat.
“Then what was it?” Michael’s eyes turn steely. “Fucking ‘Uncle’ Lee? Asshole. Told me I can’t finish any fucking businesses.”
“But… you run the Beef, don’t you?” You say, amid sniffles, entirely honest about it, and Michael’s eyes soften. “That has to count for something.”
“Yeah, little Bird.” He’s glad to have you here– he doesn’t care if it’s fucked up, not when you’re the only person on his side at this moment. “But why don’t you tell me what’s up?”
“I–” You shake your head, and feel your head hang heavy as you slouch over the table, and Michael leans over you, pressing your head to his chest, and you feel yourself crying silently into his shirt, as he shushes you and combs back your hair, his other arm caressing your back.
Michael’s not the best person– not the most comforting to be around– but he knows, by being an older brother, by being someone people want to be around, he knows how to make it count when he does give in to comfort. 
He just wishes he didn’t feel so goddamned depressed himself, so he would know the right things to say. He doesn’t want to be so useless all the time.
“Mikey?” You voice is timid. Small. 
He feels both elated that you would trust him with this, and devastated that he’ll never be good enough to deserve your trust. 
“Yeah, Birdie?”
“It’s so juvenile, but I…" You shake your head and decide to commit to it. "I wish I was pretty."
“Is that it?” Michael’s arm wraps around your shoulder as he squishes onto the seat of the table, next to you. “You think you’re ugly, huh?”
“I don’t think I’m–” You inhale deeply, and wipe away your tears again. “It’s not about being ugly. It’s more like an objective reality that I have to accept. I’m just not… I’m not anything special to look at.”
“Wow, kid.” Michael tuts and shakes his head. “Ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? That stupid fucking mantra, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s true.” Michael almost starts laughing, but you look so solemn and serious, he resists the urge. “You’re not ugly. You might not think you’re all that, but you don’t see what I see.”
Michael tenses, and you watch as he falters over how to explain.
Michael thinks you're so damn annoying with that ardent, sweet expression– even if your tears are staining your face, you still look so grateful to hear him say those words– and it just crushes him. It crushes him to know that you look for his approval so much, when he knows you're worth so much more than that.
He doesn't want to let you down. You and Carmen– he will never be enough for the two of you. 
"I don't– I'm fucking stupid, Birdie, don't listen to me." He swallows, but you're hanging onto his words and your face falls again. 
"But I can listen to you get all poetic about Claire, right?" You mutter, angry, and you get up to leave– but Michael grabs your forearm, and he's quite a bit stronger than you are. 
“Hey. That’s different.” Michael tries, but you shake your head, and you’re left sitting on the table again. “I was only teasing Bear. It has nothing to do with you.”
“I know.” You turn even more glum, and Michael is left feeling terrible, wondering what was so wrong with what he said. 
You’re silent for a moment– you know that you like Carmy, but something about telling Michael about it feels weird, like you’re pre-emptively rejecting him rather than Carmy by confessing feelings that are slowly disappearing– and you just don’t want to.
But you know you need to. You need to accept that Carmy would never see you that way.
“I just… for a really long time, I thought that I…” You fall to silence, again, and Michael is staring at you, hanging onto every word, watching your side profile shake as you try to gather your thoughts. “I really liked him, you know? I don’t even know why– maybe he was just the clearly available, safe option, and now that’s not even true and I feel like I’m mourning something that was never even real. How stupid and childish can I get?”
“Wait, Birdie–”
“And I just… I know I’m not like Claire. I don’t know what I got myself into. I don’t even really like him anymore– it’s just that the situation makes it so damn apparent that I am just average.” You huff out your words with an air of finality that even has Michael flinching a little, and he runs his hands through his hair, unbelieving of what you’ve said. “You can’t even say I’m not, Mikey, because I know how you talked about her and it was just so different to how anyone here has ever thought about me.”
“Birdie, shut the fuck up.” Michael breathes out really heavily, pinching his brows, thinking that he regrets everything he said and he wishes he could take it back. “I didn’t really– I was trying to tease Carmy, you know? It didn’t mean the shit you think it does. Hell, I would be way more serious if I was talking about you.”
He takes a beat of silence– should he read your reaction to that, or keep going? And he decides to keep going.
“You can’t just act like you can read everyone’s minds because you’re a lawyer, Birdie.” Michael says it with a slightly lighter tone, and his hand traces the small of your back as you lean against your knees, staring up at him. “Didn’t you learn about intent or whatever the fuck it was? In school?”
“Yeah, I guess.” You admit despite yourself, and Michael smiles but continues seriously.
“I don’t think that about Claire, okay? If anything, I’m fucking embarrassed you heard me talk all of that shit– that was just meant to be, uh, guy talk. I swear.” Michael swallows, feeling guilty that he still had to be so low about it. “I don’t– I care so much about him, I just went too far in working him up. I think it would be a good thing for him, right?”
Hurt flashes across your face– you still don’t think you like Carmy anymore, you just don’t know how to feel about someone else being portrayed as a “good thing.” But you inhale– you know part of getting over it is having to accept this, and you let yourself think and then nod.
“Yeah. Yeah, I could see that.” You agree, and it doesn’t hurt as much since Michael is looking at you sympathetically. “I just… I want to be a good thing, too. Not for Carmy, just…”
“For someone?” Michael answers as you trail off. 
“Yeah.”
“Listen, Birdie. I’m gonna tell you something you gotta hear.” Michael has that determined look where you know he’s going to say something smart– he has his fleeting moments of wisdom even if he doesn’t believe in himself– and he goes for it. “I can’t believe no one has ever told you just to, I don’t know, fucking love yourself a little? Like, c’mon, you should be able to like yourself! You’re an incredible person and you deserve– you have the right to be insanely fucking confident and it’s so fucking annoying that you don’t see it.”
In the heat of his argument, Michael’s come too close again, and he can feel your breath on somewhere near his jaw or neck, and he has to remind himself to pull away again.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper, and Michael combs back a strand of your hair.
“Don’t be sorry. Just listen to what I’m saying.” Michael inhales, thinks over why he can’t do this himself– Tina always tells him to be a little easier on himself, but he just struggles– and he thinks that you look terribly cute so it’s just a lot easier to root for you. “Don’t do it for some idiot guy who will never really appreciate you, little Birdie.”
You can feel the conclusion of that sentence, even if Michael doesn’t quite say it: do it for yourself. Be there for yourself. Listen to the good part of yourself, rather than him.
“Oh. I guess that’s…” You swallow, taking it in, knowing the value of his words. “It’s true.”
“See? You know it.” Michael leans in a little too close again, his face a mere breadth away from your own.
“I think you’d actually make a fantastic lawyer.” You slyly comment amid wiping your face, and Michael blinks and then laughs.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Then you’d get to see me and hear my advice all the time.” Michael mumbles a little over his words but to his surprise, you nod. 
“Yeah, then I’d get to see some idiot who really does appreciate me.” You murmur even more quietly, and Michael, feeling stupid, has a wistful smile on his face that he maybe has not felt in a decade. It’s so sweet– he thinks his heart is bursting with something. 
Maybe love. Maybe that jovial, Christmas spirit that seems to emanate as the food smells closer to ready, maybe what Carmen gave him as a kind gift, most likely the closeness he feels with you– not just being close in familiarity, more like– he can make out the little spots and freckles adorning your face, every single eyelash your still watery eyes have, the faint lines in your still-red lips, and it occurs to him that he’s too close. Somewhere during this talk, his hand has stayed around your back, and you have been tentatively tracing his right hand’s knuckles with your own thumb. 
Michael knows how it looks. If anyone was to walk in right now (and he’s sure Michelle or Richie have already put it together that the two of you have been gone for a while) they would assume you two are a couple.
He has a sudden air of regret– it’s not because he wants to reject you, he just… he struggles a lot with feeling wanted. He struggles with the standards that people seem to put on him. Michael has always known he’s not a good guy– he doesn’t know how to be the person that everyone seems to think he is. Carmen, Natalie, Richie, you– you all seem to think the best of him, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He nearly had a breakdown watching Carmen look up to him so lovingly.
Before he can pull away– with another responsible refusal, telling you that he’s too old and washed up, and that you deserve the whole world and he is not enough to offer that to you– you gently but firmly grab his face, tracing his cheek, and he thinks it could be wrong– what if you’re just feeling all confused and willy-nilly about feelings because you’re displacing what you felt about Carmen, what if you don’t actually like him and you’re assuming that you do because of his clear attraction to you, what if you’re just feeling the moment and the sweet guidance he’s given you?
Tons of questions seem to flow from his mind, things that he wants to ask you, but Michael thinks fuck it, because you’re leaning in first and pulling him in and it’s something he would’ve never expected in a million years, that you could be just as attracted to him.
He kisses you maybe a little too hard– maybe it should’ve been softer, more gentle since you’ve opened up to him so much, but you kiss him just as eagerly back, and he doesn’t fucking care to be gentle anymore. He’s leaning over you and Michael knows he’s quite a bit taller, so he has to pull you upwards to really reach your lips, and the table the two of you are sitting on is quite small– it shakes a little and there’s not much room for Michael to really feel you.
Until you climb into his lap, because of course you do, and now you’re just tangling your fingers in his hair, and he thinks he can feel whatever migraine that the day’s events have spurred on him slipping away, and his hands wrap around the smallest part of your waist as he pulls you in, pressing his chest against yours. 
You feel like Michael’s beard tickles a little– but you don’t mind that. You weren’t sure until you did it that you’ve wanted to kiss him for a while. You feel like maybe you’ve actually been more attracted to him than you ever were with Carmy, maybe even just going for Carmy due to his aforementioned security. 
Michael groans, and he slips his tongue into your mouth, and you sharply inhale as his tongue roams around your own, and he knows he likes hearing you gasp when his hands come up under your sweater, just to feel your bare skin, and you pull away.
Michael comes in too close again, placing a soft yet firm kiss on the corner of your mouth, and you laugh at him, and it’s one of the best sounds he could hear. No longer are you all gloomy and sullen in the corner of the room– but there’s still an air of heat around you two, and he knows he should let you go before things go too far. 
“Consider that a Christmas present.” You murmur softly, tapping his face, genuinely smiling despite the smeared lipstick, and you clamber off his lap, and peek out the pantry. “I think you’re good to go eat dinner– let me just…”
You wipe the red lipstick from his mouth using the corner of your sweater sleeve, so not to leave evidence, and it’s an intimate moment that has Michael staring at your hand, to your eyes, and there’s something in his eyes– maybe sorrow, maybe appreciation, but most of all, tenderness, and he takes a silly, soft moment to just kiss your hand. You beam at him.
“How long have you wanted to do that?” You tease him, because you know that Michael has always had that look, and he stiffens for a moment.
“Ah… maybe around when you came back from graduating college.” Michael admits, feeling weirdly high and low all at the same time, but he questions you too. “What about you? Don’t tell me you just decided to kiss me right now. That would fucking… that would be too much.”
His heart falls for a split second– thinking about how again you could’ve just been having a little fling– why would you ever like him? He struggles to think how you could, even after having kissed you.
“No, no. I swear it’s not like that.” You turn a little red and play with your hands. “Um. You’re not like a rebound, Mikey, I just… I think I liked you ever since I started coming around more, maybe around last year? I probably just didn’t notice because I thought I was into Carmy. You know? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.”
“Yeah, I know.” Michael tries not to let the relief show through his face too much. “I thought maybe I was… reading too much into it. Putting pressure on you.”
“No, you’re good.” You shake off his concerns. “I don’t think that at all. I really do like you… might’ve just been obsessed with the idea of a childhood friend turning into a lover.”
Michael grins. “Well, who’s to say that didn’t fucking happen, Birdie? Are we not childhood friends?”
“Eh… kind of. You’re a bit old.” You give him a so-so motion, and Michael jokingly pushes you a little. “I’m kidding! This is more like– your friend’s hot older brother gives you a chance and it’s crazy and exciting and you just want to know more.”
You were half kidding, but you’re so honest about it, and Michael loves it, but there’s still that undercurrent of agony– he wants to just openly like you, too, but he doesn’t want to be such a fucking failure about it.
“I’m gonna just head to the dining table, I think.” You check your watch. “Gotta go think about this a little more– is that okay? Not in a bad way, I’m just overwhelmed with everything that’s happened today…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s okay, Birdie.” Michael presses a kiss into your hairline. He knows it is a lot for anyone to handle– getting over a crush you thought you had, realizing that you like someone else– he gets it. “Take all the time you need.”
“Okay.” You smile eagerly at him and then walk outside through the hallway, wiping your mouth so it looks less kiss-stained, and peek around so no one is looking at you. 
Michael feels a million emotions hit him at once, and he knows he has to cool himself down before explaining to everyone where you’ve gone, what’s happened– or he’s certain to implicate himself, and he can’t have that. 
It all goes to shit not even twenty minutes later.
You’re sitting pretty between Richie and Tiff, who seem to be a little bit… awkward, maybe arguing mentally about something you don’t completely understand. No one has really commented on your disappearance, but you’re sure it’s obvious based on how Michelle and Stevie are whispering and smiling at you.
Michael gets a massive, depressive episode right after you’ve left him. He can’t exactly pinpoint why– he feels like a creep even if he isn’t one. Hell, he only actually met you when you were nineteen– he was in a different state when you started visiting the Berzattos. But even if Michael ignores his potential, old-man creepiness… he also feels like you’re headed for so much more than he ever was, and he knows he’s holding you back if he does this. 
For once in his life, he just wanted to be happy. He just wanted to be wanted without the stigma of not being good enough. 
You, Carmy, and Nat. He knows you guys are on your way. Michael feels a pit in his stomach as he imagines why you guys all have to look up to him so much– he just happened to be in the right place, at the right time.
He can’t ignore the feeling that he is just a major fucking loser.
That’s why Michael goes and gets high. He knows he’s making a mistake, and he doesn’t want to do something so disappointing– but he figures he’s already a disappointment anyways. He’s grateful you’re not here outside to see how pathetic he really is– how much he craves a hit just to feel a little less shitty. And yes, it calms him down as he feels the high of the painkillers exacerbate positive memories, like with you, Carmy, Natalie– but it still makes his anger, his depressive tendencies strong, too. 
When he sits down at the dining table– he’s not that intoxicated, but he knows it’s a little apparent on his face, based on the mild alarm on your own. You’re sitting just far enough from him for there to be plausible deniability, but still– you are worried about him.
“You good?” You mouth, and he waves away your question with an air of fake nonchalance. 
You don’t look convinced. You can see the red in Michael’s eyes, the general tension in his shoulders, the unnerving sense of resentment in his expression. You wonder what could have happened in the last ten minutes that you’ve been sitting at the table, why Michael decided to go and get intoxicated just minutes after kissing you.
Were you too much for him? Maybe.
You know Michael gets high. In fact, last Easter, you’re pretty sure he spent the entire time high on something– but you only vaguely know about his anger flare ups. About his negative emotions, the supposed depressive periods he goes through. You’ve seen him argue a bit with Richie, you know he’s gotten a bit harsh with Carmy, but you know he’s a bit more troubled than that. The whole family seems a bit troubled. Natalie has told you that much, and you have your experience with that– your mother and father’s fights are ones that still make you quiver to think about. But with Michael?
You don’t know how much you believed it, until now, because Michael always seemed kind of… like he always had the right thing to say. You almost feel like he’s in the right to get upset, because he’s had a hard time, with his family, some of his luck surrounding his career– especially with how Lee continually riles him up.
The table is formal and nice for a bit. Michael and Tiff converse about something, Carmy asks if you’re okay and you mostly are. Michelle asks Mikey to say grace, and he sounds resentful, again, of Lee cutting him off so often. 
Cicero, being the responsible uncle that he is, tries to push off grace to Stevie, who promptly rejects it, and Michelle decides to ease the tension by asking what the hell the seven fishes are all about. Lee, of course, gleefully answers, about the dutch potatoes and the bible.
Michael glares at him and throws a fork. A real, honest-to-god, heavy piece of silverware. It clatters on the carpeted floor– you feel yourself flinch, and you watch Natalie and Pete’s expressions crumble into the realization that Michael is not okay, and everyone seems to look towards him in fear.
“You see what you did, right? You already did that. You already bitched about the dutch oven.” Michael retorts at him, not completely coherent, and you can feel the lights glazing over– the Christmas tree, the wreaths and baubles, everything seems to lose focus in comparison to the red-hot anger that Michael is bubbling over with.
Cicero and Carmy try to call him off, but Michael isn’t listening, and you can tell– he’s in a place to be upset. It’s like a slowly proceeding car crash– as much as you don’t want him to do it, you understand why he’s going to. You feel like there is a bit of a double standard in place here– Cicero seems to want him to respect his elders, and Michael is being kind of childish, but you can’t say you don’t understand why.
Michael asks for Fak’s fork, in direct opposition to Lee’s attempts to play the father in this house. Despite Fak’s insistent refusals, Michael successfully takes it. Everyone speaks with the intent to stop him, and he’s too focused on Lee to stop.
You know you hate Lee too. But such a severe reaction, coming from Michael? It has you wincing a little. You want to pull him away– tell him to be the nice older brother you’ve always known him to be– but you know it takes time. You know it’s probably going to get worse. You try to catch his eye– and he can't quite look at you.
You have faith in him. You know Michael can do better than this– you just hope he can see it, too. 
Michael throws the second fork, and you feel regret in trusting him, again, because he’s making things bad but it’s almost as if he can’t help it. You catch Natalie’s eyes– she’s clearly disappointed, too.
Michael feels a sick sense of pleasure, as he often does when it comes to acting out his worst desires. But he feels a flash of anger with himself– is that what he did with you? Is he really this guy? He thinks that he is, he is a bad dude and he can commit to that role if that’s what’s needed.  
“Cousin, you’re scaring the normals.” Richie tries, looking at Tiff and you, but you’re still yearning to catch his glance– and Michael can only respond that it’s nothing, everything is fine, and you’re suddenly reminded of when your parents used to fight and how you used to have to be the middle man and convince them that things were alright.
Michael looks towards you this time– but you’re not looking at him. You have your hands neatly clasped in your lap, your eyes are focused on the set of candles in the middle of the table, and you look horribly upset, with your neck all tense as you wait for things to blow over, and he can tell– he’s fucking up big time. Stevie, Carmy, everyone is looking pained, and Michael can only think that he doesn’t give a shit. He wants to make Lee feel just as terrible as he does.
"You see– I can throw forks because this is our father’s house." Michael scoffs back, and there's real agony in his tone. “My father’s house.”
Michelle inhales. “We have lift-off.”
“Okay, you got everyone's attention, so go ahead, tell us a story we've all heard a million times already.” Lee spits out, barely holding back his own contempt for Michael, and Michael starts laughing as if everything’s alright. “Tell a story about how you're living with your mom and you're borrowing money off of her and any other sucker who'll listen to your bullshit.”
Everyone looks towards the table, feeling terribly awkward about Lee’s accusations– it’s not that it’s necessarily untrue, but there’s a hefty amount of his own assumptions, his own bias thrown in there, and you want to speak up.
“Lee, shut the fuck up.” Cicero looks absolutely pissed off at him, and you’re grateful someone has taken some of the heat off of Michael. It’s Lee’s fault, too.
“I’m sorry. I told you not to be a sucker, Jimmy.” Lee comments, and Cicero exhales, exasperated.
“Lee. That’s not really fair– you’re being too hard on him.” You utter through gritted teeth, and Lee’s eyes narrow on you. It's the first time you've spoken, and Michael glances at you– his eyes are bright and he genuinely looks sorry. Sorry he had to go this far.
“Oh, am I? Really, Birdie? I would suggest I’m not being hard enough.” Lee raises his hands, invites you to speak more, and you know that it’s not really your place to do so, especially because Lee and Michael seem to have a lot of history.
But you have your almost-lawyer tendencies, and of course you’re not exactly unbiased either, because you want to see the best in Michael– you want to like him. 
"Please, Lee… Michael's working on himself. You don't need to lie to him." You stare at him, and Lee’s face seems to turn darker with that. “I’m sure we all have our issues… it feels like a lot.”
"Is that what he's told you, Birdie?" Lee sneers at you, and you suddenly feel small. "He's a sick, fucking twisted man, and you would trust him, wouldn't you?"
He doesn’t go further than that– but it’s enough that you feel humiliated for being read so thoroughly. It’s obvious what he’s implying– you’re a silly little girl who doesn’t know any better. 
“It's fine. It's fine. Because this guy's nothing and he's nobody.” Lee points at Michael again, and his expression sours so much. You watch as Michael seems to zero in on what Lee’s rambling on about. 
Natalie shakes her head in little no-no motions.
“Hey… Petey… I just need to, uh… I need to borrow this for one second.” Michael’s got that nonchalant expression again, but there’s pain in his eyes, and there’s a clamour of everyone again telling Michael to stop, calling his name, trying to distract him.
"Michael. Michael. Please don’t do this. Hey. Hey. Hey!" Natalie calls at him, and you know she's just begging for him to leave it alone. “I love you. Okay?” 
You watch as Michael, holding the fork, just holding it, clear malicious intent in his eyes, tension building in the air and you feel a little sick, but his eyes are watering and he clearly doesn’t want to do what he thinks he has to.
“I love you too, Sug.” Michael says honestly.
Stevie giggles, Cicero de-escalates things further, and you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel, if not for the fact that Michael is still holding the fork. Still standing up, taunting him, acting like a big old child as Carmy rebukes him– and it’s really just two grown men beginning to get all macho and toxic about who’s tougher, who’s really the man of the house, and they start screeching at each other and you watch as Michael’s eyes glaze over with something, with Lee’s final insult that “he’s nothing.”
You watch as Michael takes his seat. He seems ambivalent, hard to read– he’s not meeting anyone’s eyes and you feel terrible about it.
Donna comes in and takes her seat– she seems rather drunk, too, and the last thing you need is more evidence that substance abuse is a bad thing– and Stevie starts the most wonderful prayer that still isn’t enough to dissuade Michael. You catch his gaze– he’s mulling over something, his eyes are watery, and you want to go over there and talk him down, even if that idea is unwise.
Donna cries over the prayer, and Natalie commits the most cardinal sin that she could at this moment: she asks if she’s okay.
You flinch with recognition as Donna starts screaming at her, about how she is okay and could a person who isn’t okay make such a gorgeous meal, and she exits the room in visible anger, and Natalie begins to hyperventilate, while Michelle tries to calm everyone down.
Donna throws a plate down on the floor, and exits the room continuing to scream– and there’s a beat of tense silence, full of angst and what-nows, and Lee decides to take initiative breaking that silence with a silly joke– almost in a paternal role, again, a hot topic between him and Mikey– and you watch Michael’s eyes start narrowing as he leans against his hand.
Michael throws the third fork.
It’s like every single nerve you felt, every bit of tension that was already in place, comes to a head as Michael starts going batshit, trying his best to attack Lee, while the Fak brothers and Richie are between them, and you can barely think straight as everyone starts screaming at each other. 
Tiff almost gets dragged into the chaos, and you're left shielding and comforting her from the fight. Pete and Richie hold Michael off and you're thankful– the last thing you want is to go up in there and get caught in the crossfire yourself. It’s genuinely a blur– you have no idea how bad things are getting until Cicero starts telling them to get the fuck out.
Suddenly, the wall of the living room bursts inwards, the Christmas tree getting dragged in the crossfire, and you realize with shock that someone’s driven a car inside.
Not just any car– that’s Donna in there, driving, and you think for a moment she’s dead. You can’t believe what’s happening– you can feel your heart hammering through your chest.
Michael runs towards the car, tries to open the front door, yelling and asking her what she did, asking her to open the door. She stirs a little.
Everyone else is standing there, in shock, not focusing properly on what to do, and you pull yourself away from the crowd of people, as they stare on in horror. You don’t want to be a part of this, but you are, and you know what a responsible adult would do. 
You go outside, into the December night’s cold air, and call 911. Specify for the firefighters and ambulances, because Cicero has a big thing against narcs and cops and you’re not getting into that right now.
Even though you’re freezing, and that’s what you should be focusing on? You’re in an incredible amount of despair because of what’s taken place. You hang up the call and feel exhausted by everything that’s happened, and you wonder if Michael really knows better. If he can be more than this. It’s not something you’re judging him for– but you feel terrible about his circumstances and you want him to get out of there.
Worse, you can’t help but feel a little upset with him. Because you know that Michael didn’t have to stoop that low– he chose to, and that’s what bothers you the most. He let his emotional responses dictate how he was going to act, and you know it’s hard to not be so provoked in this environment, but still: you are concerned and upset with him, and you know you need to take a step back. As much as it hurts you to stay away, you feel like it’s going to hurt even more if you intentionally stay around.
You wait for the ambulance and fire trucks to show up– you take a minute to direct them through the house, and then you trust that someone else has got it from there. Carmy, Natalie, Michelle, Stevie– they’ve got each other, they’re whispering about something, and you know where you’re not needed.
You grab your coat and leave, leave as silently as you can without interrupting everything that’s going on. It’s an strange walk home– ten minutes of you thinking about everything.
You hope next Christmas will be better.
/
Michael comes down from his high hard. Someone’s wrapped a blanket around him, and he’s sitting on the front porch’s staircase, wondering what the hell is going on. Donna’s apparently been taken to the hospital– and there’s a makeshift tarp where the wall has been crashed in. Everyone has gone home.
Where did you go? He has a moment of panic. Are you okay? Did he fuck it up that badly? That you would leave without saying goodbye? Michael can picture the disappointment on your face, and he wishes– he really wishes he was someone else.
He’s stressing really hard, his eyes are beginning to tear up. God, he knew he wasn’t really worthy of your attention– you’re young still, you have the whole world ahead of you– and he wonders if he can apologize. He wonders what he could possibly say to make it right. After such an insane situation, he can’t even blame you for taking off.
Natalie tells him, kind sister that she is, that you were the one to call emergency services. Of course you were– you have a strong head on your shoulders and Michael feels strongly that his family is in debt to you. And then you headed home, but Natalie doesn’t know why.
He does have your number. But he’s not going to call you, not right now– he’s not going to make a bigger mistake and fuck things up further. 
Michael sighs, and leans back. He doesn’t deserve to be happy.
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kadwrites · 1 year
Text
the color green | T.S
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summary ; you've met tommy's secretary , who has a thing for him.
warnings ; mentions of death (no one dies), my bad writing?? probably typos, arranged marriage trope
a/n ; um idk what to think of this part but lmk what you think of it
-
he just looks back at you, his brow raised ,waiting for an explanation
"what?"
"what did ya say to 'er?"
"nothing, why ? what did she tell you?" you can't help the amused expression on your face, you did try to hold it back.
"she said you and polly cornered 'er"
"what" you let out a small laugh "all we did was speak to 'er, and it was mostly polly. she barely acknowledged me."
"really?"
"yes really."
"did ya tell 'er that we're engaged?" his voice was deep and cold. it sent a familiar chill down your spine.
"why ? did ya not want people to know?"
"answer the question"
"i didn't. polly did." you stare at him for a while, eyes tracing his face with a raised brow "are you fucking 'er?"
he blinks slowly, his demeanor doesn't change "i beg your fucking pardon?"
"ya heard me."
"no."
you study his face "we didn't say anything to 'er, polly asked 'er if she knew who i was, she looked me up and down like i was some whore and then almost cried when she found out you and i are engaged. thats it."
"we're not engaged yet."
"we are, according to your aunt. so if ya 'ave any fucking complaints , ya might want to take it up with 'er."
you try to walk past him, deciding that storming off is the best way out of this ,
"and how do ya think youre gettin' back home? polly is gone"
you freeze, stopping in place when you hear that, and he turns, just staring at your back.
"walking exists , ya know?" you turn as well to face him, you try to maintain the most confident expression you could muster
"you're gonna walk back? to your father's house? at this time?"
you just nod,
"no you're not"
"yes i am."
"no."
"why not?"
"what kind if fiancé would i be if i let ya walk home in the dark?." his voice is sarcastic
you just raise your brow again, "i thought we weren't engaged."
"go to my office, i'll drive ya home in a minute."
"ya don't 'ave to, i don't want your charity."
"go to my fucking office, y/n."
you mumble curses under your breath as you stride through and to his office, you open the glass door and plop down on the chair facing his desk. you can see the sectary's silhouette from the corner of your eyes. she's sitting on a desk outside his office and you walked by without sparing her a glance. you can feel her stare burn through you.
the door opens again and he walks in, and sits on his desk
"are we goin' to stay here long? cause i can call oliver to come and get me."
he looked up from the papers he was holding and his stare made you look away. okay maybe you'll let him drive you home.
the secretary knocks and walks in "i just need your signature on this form sir." she walks to his desk and gets as close as appropriately possible.
" y've met my fiancée then, miss carter?" he asks the secretary without looking at her
"i.." she stands straight and glances at you "i did , yes i did."
he looks up at her briefly "she might be comin' here more often now, so please make 'er feel at home whenever im not around."
"of course, sir." she smiles sweetly at him before grabbing the paper and walking out of the office.
you raise your brows, a small smirk on your lips "oh im your fiancée now , aye?"
he doesn't answer you, but you see the corners of his lips curl.
you stifle back a yawn as you sit on the sofa , trying to not to nod off. its the middle of the night and your brother had woken you up. safe to say tonight was not a night you've expected and its yet to end.
"how did ya even know about this?" you nod towards abraham who had a cup of tea in his hand
"mum called" he muttered as he handed you a cup as well
"its just a cold , ya know that? , ya didn't 'ave to leave anna and come all the way here."
"it's dad, i couldn't just sleep after 'earing mum cry about 'im"
"she cries about everything" you say with a sigh as you take a sip of your tea
the living room as dark except for a small lamp that was next to you
"did she call celest and oliver?"
"i think so, but they'll probably come by in the mornin'."
you hear your mothers sniffles as she leaves her and your father's bedroom.
"hes asking for you."
you and abraham look at each other before you put your tea cup down and get up from the sofa.
"come in"
you walk in and close the door behind you gently. your dad is propped up with a pillow behind him, you approach the bed and get on it, laying next to him
"ya better not give me another one of your speeches dad." you feign annoyance but your smile gives you away.
he lets out a laugh then turns to you "i'm an old man ya know, i 'ave to make sure i say everything i need to say before i leave ya."
"y've got a cold dad, its not the plaque " you chuckle as you turn to look at him too.
when you were a child, your father would never sleep if you got sick, he would stay up. sometimes fall asleep beside you, or on the uncomfortable hard wooden chair he'd drag next to your bed.
he would put his head on your heart sometimes late at night anxiously, scared it might've stopped when he accidentally drifted off to sleep.
"listen to me love..." his hands intertwine with yours, his hands calloused from all the days he's spent caring for the soil, or in the war that you never thought would end. "i need to talk about this."
you hum, your hand holding his tightly in yours.
"i'm sorry it had to come to this my love,"
its not another one of his speeches, its a different kind of speech.
"dad..."
"when your mother first told me about this, i thought she was jokin, honest to god" he lets out another laugh "but now..... when i think about it , i cant let ya do that to yerself love..." he shakes his head slightly,
"what?" your eyes look up at him, taking in his features , his dark under eyes, the lines on his face, around his eyes.
"i saved some money yeah? , for when me and your mother might need it. ya can 'ave it." his voice drops to a lower tone
"and do what ?"
"run away."
"run away?" you laugh softly, looking at him with a raised brow "and go where?"
"where ever you want." he smiles softly at you
"you're not serious."
"i am"
you stay silent for a while, processing what he's saying "im not runnin' away dad."
"so you're gonna marry tommy shelby? is that what ya want ? what ya truly want?"
"its what i need to do"
"ya don't"
"so you're gonna go back on your word ,aye? ya gave the man a word after all"
"for you , id break every promise ive ever made."
"dad..." you let out a small smile , his other hand goes to cup your face "i cant do that"
"are ya scared id hate ya? or that id be angry at ya if ya didn't?"
"i cant runaway dad... i cant leave ya" your emotions betray you and they flood through you, your tears start to drop. i cant not be here when you die, when you're buried.
"sometimes i cant believe you're all grown up now,"
"hmm"
"ya were such a lively child"
"you're sayin' im borin' now aye?"
you two share a small laugh, you turn your face and kiss his palm, before closing your eyes "id put myself through anything and everything to keep ya with me for however long i can."
-
@tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator , @theshelbyslimited
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helpimhyperfixating · 4 months
Text
Wedding - Jotaro x Reader
This was a commission requested by @worldsetfree !
Thank you so so much, love, for your patience with me and for commissioning me in the first place ^^ I had a lot of fun with this!
CW: none
This is a post p6, happy ending au. Because dadtaro yes :3
Word Count: 3855
“What’s going on, love?” You ask softly as you reach up, straightening Jotaro’s tie. He’d just earlier come home from a long day at the office, writing on his newest research paper. Right now though, he was fresh out of the shower and getting dressed in fancy wear.
“I have a gut feeling.” The man mumbled, looking down at you. His hair was still a little damp, one stubborn curl draped across his brow while his hat was laying to the side on the dresser – the usual purple one replaced with a black one to match his suit, decorated with silver emblems for some more subtlety.
“About what? Jolyne asked us out to dinner. You were saying recently how you barely see her anymore, I thought you’d like this?” You questioned and Jotaro sighed softly, taking your hands away from his tie as he instead brought them down, squeezing a little as he instead looked over your head, seemingly trying to find the right words.
“It feels too sudden. Forced.”
Smiling a little sympathetically, you turned your hand around in his hold, squeezing his hand back to get his attention back on you. “Jolyne asked us to come. So we come. It’s dinner with her and some of her friends. Don’t you think that after everything she’s been through, she deserves a night out to a fancy place?”
“She does, but-“
“-No buts.” You interrupted him, making him frown a bit. “Jotaro, it’ll be fine. If anything, having us two there puts her in a safer position than when she’s alone.”
“Good grief, you’re insistent.” He sighed, though you saw the small quirk of his lip and smiled back.
“Good. That’s what you have me for. Now come on, let’s blow-dry your hair and go. We don’t want to be late.”
“Fine. So long as Anasui isn’t there.”
- - - -
Sitting at the restaurant, Jotaro had his arms firmly crossed over his chest, his hat casting his eyes into shadows as he scowled, almost brooding as he sat next to Anasui.
The pink-haired man – to his credit – kept his composure, holding a face of indifference as best as he could as he looked anywhere but the annoyed man right beside him at the table.
Sitting next to your husband, you couldn’t help but struggle to keep your smile down.
Jotaro looked downright pissy.
Sitting at the table, Jolyne sat to your left at the head, Ermes next to her (and opposite to you) and followed by Emporio and Foo Fighters, with Weather Report finishing up the crew, sitting at the head of the table opposite of Jolyne.
It was a positively merry band.
A little while ago, the drinks and entrees had been ordered, Jotaro already halfway through his beer.
“Dad, how’s the paper going?”
Pulled out of his brooding, Jotaro lifted his head, glancing to his daughter. “It’s going well.” He responded and you smiled to yourself, seeing the man’s sour expression soften the moment he laid his eyes on the green-haired girl. Or- woman, now. She wasn’t your little girl anymore. A thought that stung, though you kept it to yourself.
“What was it about again?”
“Blue whale migratory patterns.” Jotaro cleared his throat, always a little embarrassed to speak about his work.
“Oh, I hear they’re rare to be sighted!” Emporio spoke up, ever curious.
Jotaro nodded, crossing his ankles under the table. “Indeed, due to whaling in the last century their numbers drastically decreased. It’s been banned since 1966 but they’re still an endangered species.”
“So how’d you find them?” The now thirteen year old boy asked.
Jotaro’s lip quirked up before he answered while angling his hat’s brim down. “By knowing where to look.”
You knew your husband had a soft spot for the kid. In fact, the two of you had offered to take him in, but Jolyne had declined, saying she and Ermes could do that since they lived together. And neither of you protested, given Emporio and Jolyne in particular had a bond that could not be shattered.
“How’s the job, Jolyne?” You asked instead, lifting your glass to take a sip of your drink.
At that, Jolyne smiled. “It’s going well! I got some designs approved finally and have started making them.”
“You should see some of them, they’re incredible!” Ermes butted in, placing her hand on Jolyne’s thigh, making the girl blush as she glanced off to the side – a trait she got from you.
To his right, Jotaro saw Anasui glare daggers at Ermes, making the raven shift forward in his seat, blocking Anasui’s stare with his frame while giving a scrutinizing look of his own to the man in pink.
Seeing it, Anasui swallowed bitterly, crossing his arms and just letting it go. He knew he couldn’t beat Jotaro, no matter what happened.
“Oh! Do you have some pictures, Jolyne?!” Foo Fighters piped up excitedly, leaning on the table with both her forearms.
At that, both Jolyne and Ermes shared a look. Tilting your head in intrigue, you studied the two young women. There was excitement in their eyes, as well as slight nervousness in Jolyne.
“Sure.” Jolyne then hummed to her friend, nudging Ermes, who picked her bag up off of the floor, digging through until she pulled out a camera.
Before she could show anything however, waiters came up with the entrees, putting them down one by one in front of the right people.
Again, you saw the two women to your left touch, their hands intertwining under the table.
Perceptive as ever, Jotaro noticed too – the two of you sharing an inquisitive glance. There was something going on with them.
“So, show me what you’ve been up to, miss fashion designer.” You smiled, reaching over and gently squeezing Jolyne’s elbow.
“Okay, mom.” The girl smiled, taking the camera from Ermes, turning it on and flicking through a few pictures before handing it over to you.
Taking it happily, you shifted a little closer to Jotaro, pushing the camera’s strap to the side as you saw a picture of a slim fitting coral patterned dress sit on a mannequin. Jotaro leaned into your space, the two of you looking over at the small screen together, as you tilted it so that he could view it as well. “Oh wow, that looks so detailed!” You complimented.
“There’s some more pictures if you press the arrows right.” Jolyne instructed and you followed her word, moving your thumb to click the arrow.
The screen shifted to a new picture and your eyes widened as you felt Jotaro grip your hip tight, his breath faltering a bit.
Right there on the screen was a photo of Jolyne and Ermes on the beach, Ermes down on one knee, a small but ever so prominent box in her hands.
Snapping your head up to your daughter, you saw her with a wide grin on her face, her eyes a little misty as she lifted her hand, showing a beautiful yet simple ring sitting on her ring finger.
“You’re engaged?” You asked, in disbelief though quickly, a warmth filled your heart as you saw both women nod.
“No way!” Foo yelled out, almost throwing herself onto the table to look closer at the ring, Jolyne easily obliging. Emporio had the widest smile on his face, having already known and Weather Report held an unusual but calm smile on his face.
To your right however, you suddenly heard a chair screech, followed by a loud clang.
Anasui had abruptly risen to his feet, rage in his eyes as he stabbed his knife into the wooden table next to his plate.
Before he could say or do anything however, Jotaro had snapped his hand around the man’s elbow, tightly squeezing as he yanked Anasui back down into his seat.
“You shut up and smile.” He spoke, voice low as he glared at Anasui, a silent rage emanating from him that you hadn’t seen in quite some time.
“I won’t sit here and-“
“Then you won’t sit here!” Jotaro interrupted, yanking his arm before abruptly getting up himself, dragging Anasui with him to his feet.
Angry, a shimmering aura of a stand began to grow around Anasui, but Jotaro retaliated instantly, a familiar purple beginning to emanate around it.
“Think very carefully about what you’re going to do.” He spoke threateningly. Yet when Anasui just grit his teeth, glaring daggers at Ermes, the raven tightened his grip on his elbow and began to drag the pink-haired man out of the restaurant.
“I’ll make sure he makes it out alive.” Weather Report sighed as he got up. “Congratulations Ermes, Jolyne.” He said, giving another little smile before following the marine biologist and his impromptu charge.
Now you knew why Jolyne had made Jotaro sit next to Anasui.
Sighing softly, you then turned to your daughter, reaching out to grab her hand, reaching over to grab Ermes’ a second later. “I’m so happy for you two.” You whispered, tears in your eyes, which in turn caused Jolyne’s to fill as well. “I speak for both your father and myself when I say that I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. You’ve been through so much. The both of you have. And I’m so happy to see you find solace in each other.”
At that, the two glanced at each other, Ermes reaching out and linking her free hand with Jolyne’s.
“Ermes?” You said her name and she turned, looking at you. “I couldn’t be happier to have you join our family. And you will always have a family in us.” You whispered. At that, you almost physically saw the lump form in her throat as she then nodded with a shy smile.
Smiling wide, you had to keep back your emotions as you then got up, starting to drag both out of their seats. Dragging Jolyne into a hug, she happily joined, Ermes stepping up a second later, joining in on your insistence as you hugged both women tight.
“Congratulations.”
Pulling back, Jolyne smiled at you, blinking away tears. “Thank you, mom.” She whispered and you reached up, thumbing away the beginning tear in the corner of her eye, saving her makeup.
“I’m so excited!” Foo suddenly exclaimed, pulling Emporio close into a hug, the boy tensing up and frowning a bit, his growing age making him more averse to affection – like most teenage boys – making you chuckle a bit.
Just then, Jotaro and Weather Report came walking back in, Jotaro shaking his hand out a bit while Weather walked a bit more casual.
Yet as the raven walked up, seeing you all on your feet, he softened. Especially when Jolyne broke away from you and rushed up to him.
Without hesitation, he pulled her into his arms, burying his face into her shoulder as he hugged her tight. You watched as he spoke a few words – too quiet to hear – but it resulted in Jolyne holding him tighter.
The two embraced for a few seconds longer while Weather Report took his place at the table again. Then, they pulled apart, Jotaro taking off his hat for a brief second to press a short kiss to his daughter’s forehead, just like he used to when she was a little kid.
Walking over a moment later, he walked up to Ermes, tightly shaking her hand. “Treat her well.” He muttered and Ermes hummed, a bit of a cocky smile on her face.
“Wouldn’t do anything else. Pink baby give you much trouble?”
“He asked to pass on his congratulations.” Jotaro said coolly, letting go of Ermes’ hand as he then walked back over to his seat beside you. “He unfortunately had to go home.”
Rolling your eyes good-naturedly, you took your seat at the table again as well.
Once everyone was seated, conversation flowed naturally, food being eaten before the main course was served. And by the time that dessert rolled around, Foo Fighters was firmly drunk after having stolen Weather’s glass of wine, and Jolyne’s ring had been thoroughly inspected at least a hundred times.
- - - -
Walking into the bedroom, Jotaro’s face fell into a deadpan as he saw you sitting upright in bed with your laptop on your lap. “Are you still on it?”
“It has to be perfect.” You mumbled, typing away as you continued to search for different venues.
It had taken about six months since the engagement, but Ermes and Jolyne had finally began planning the wedding, having asked you and Jotaro for your input – both thanks to the fact that you were funding it for a big part, as well as the fact that you already had experience when it came to planning a wedding.
“Darling, leave some planning to them. A bit of wedding stress is good for them.” He sighed, taking off his shirt as he walked to his side of the bed, lifting his pillow and rummaging under it to find the pyjama pants he keeps there.
“But there’s so much to do, I just want to help.” You frowned, glancing to the side to see your husband switch out his pants for the pyjama ones.
“Your helping is causing you to stress like it’s your own wedding. They’re smart girls, they can handle it.” Jotaro said, climbing into bed beside you.
“But-“
He grabbed your cheek and turned your head to face him, shutting you up. “No buts. Sleep, Y/N.”
“I’m not overbearing, am I?” You whisper, worried now and Jotaro huffed in amusement, rubbing his thumb over your cheek.
“No, you’re not. Jolyne asked me to get you to take a break because she’s worried about you. She assured me she appreciates you taking the work load from them, but as I said; let them have their own wedding stress. It’s healthy.”
“You sure?”
Reaching over, Jotaro closed your laptop and placed it on his nightstand, shuffling down under the blankets a bit while pulling you down with him. “Certain.” He assured, looking at you with gentle eyes. Age had truly mellowed this man out.
“Okay.” You whispered, allowing him to pull you in as he took a deep breath, his arms tight around you as he cuddled you close, your own body melding with his.
“Goodnight.”
“Sleep well, love.” He muttered.
- - - -
Reaching up, you straightened Jotaro’s bow tie a bit.
“I can’t believe she still invited him.” The raven grumbled and you sighed softly.
“Like it or not, she views Anasui as a friend. He saved our lives, remember?” You asked, dusting his suit of imaginary dust as you spoke and Jotaro huffed.
“I’ve saved his life dozens of times by not caving his skull in.”
Letting out a little ‘tssk’ you softly hit his arm. “It’s your daughter’s wedding day! Stop with the negative talk.” You scolded, crossing your arms. “He won’t be a problem. Weather Report is there to keep an eye on him.”
“He’s going to object.” Jotaro spoke matter of fact, clearly displeased.
“Didn’t you threaten him so severely he stayed out of Jolyne and Ermes’ way the entire wedding planning?” You countered, raising an eyebrow and Jotaro sighed.
“Yes, but even his malleability has an end. He’s obsessed with Jolyne. It’s dangerous.” He frowned and you nodded, not wanting to wave his concerns away, as well as knowing he was right.
“This is true, but Jolyne only allowed him to be here if he promised to behave. And we’ll step in if we have to.”
“I don’t like it.” Jotaro just said and you gave him a sad little smile before leaning up, pressing a small kiss to his lips.
“I think you don’t have to worry.” You said. “I heard Ermes talking to Jolyne earlier, said she had it handled.”
At that, Jotaro seemed pleasantly surprised. “She okay?”
“Weather went with her.”
“Good man.”
Chuckling a bit, you nodded, patting his chest for a moment until music started up in the chapel. “Oh, that’s my cue.” You hummed, standing up straight. “I’ll see you at the front row. Love you.”
With that, you walked through he double doors, leaving Jotaro alone in the forechamber. “Love you too.” He mumbled, looking down and straightening the small flowers in his suit jacket pocket.
And then, a door opened behind him and Jotaro turned, the crease in his brow vanishing as slowly, Jolyne stepped out of her dressing room.
She was dressed in a beautiful wedding gown, white as snow and fanning out from her hips, giving a simple yet elegant shape, accentuated by jewelry embroidered into the boddice. Her hair was up into a perfectly sculpted bun, wreathed in braids.
“Look at you.” Jotaro muttered, holding out his hand and Jolyne walked over, positively shining as she took his hand, a smile tugging at her lips.
“Can you help me, dad?” She whispered, holding up her veil.
Looking down at it, he huffed a little in amusement and nodded, gently taking the piece of fabric from her.
Stepping closer, he raised his arms, carefully inspecting her hair, testing where it would be best to push the prongs of the veil’s comb into to keep it in place. With a gentle move, he slid the prongs into her hair.
“This reminds me of when you used to do my hair.” Jolyne whispered and a fond smile spread on her father’s face.
“Only fitting I do it one last time before giving you away.” He muttered, fixing the veil in front of her face so that it hung proper. “You planned it, didn’t you?” He asked and Jolyne smiled from behind the white silk, nodding.
“I love you, dad.” She whispered, her voice breaking a bit and Jotaro had to take in a heavy breath, cradling her cheeks through the veil as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“I love you too, my little seastar.” He murmured back before pulling away, giving her a proud look before he shifted to stand beside her, holding out his arm. “Are you ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Jolyne said back, her nerves flaring and Jotaro hummed.
“Then you’re doing better than I was.”
“Really?” She murmured, looking up at her dad and the raven nodded.
“I was sure I was going to throw up, waiting at the alter for your mother. Let’s hope Ermes is doing better than me.”
“So, I finally have something I’m better at than you?” Jolyne teased and at that, Jotaro turned his head to look at her, right as from inside the chapel, the organ began to play, the ceremony starting.
“You’ve always been better than me, Jolyne.” He spoke, his eyes soft. “You’re my little girl.”
Taking in a shaky breath, Jolyne was just forced to bite her lip and hold in her tears as right at that moment, the doors were opened, showing her to the gathered people.
Inside, everyone was waiting on chairs, even though there weren’t that many family or friends gathered. Ahead, Foo Fighters was spreading flowers across the carpet, fit to burst with excitement before she quickly veered off to the right and sat down in one of the few chairs set up in the room, not many attendees present.
Still, as the two Kujo’s started walking down the aisle, Jolyne felt her heart fit to burst, seeing Ermes stand at the altar, a proud smile on her face.
Almost perfectly, the sun shone in through the stained glass windows of the church and Jotaro glanced left, seeing the head of Weather Report’s Stand peeking out behind the man, even as he sat next to a pissed off Anasui.
Finally, the two reached the end of the aisle and Jotaro turned to Jolyne one last time, looking down at her, his hands dropping down to hold onto hers.
“Go start your life, Jolyne. Properly this time.” He quietly spoke, glancing up to Ermes who was still beaming with pride in her white suit, in awe of Jolyne in her wedding dress.
With a small squeeze to his daughter’s hands, he then helped her up the shallow stairs onto the altar, his hand feeling strangely empty the moment Jolyne’s left his to instead grab Ermes’.
Letting out a little breath, he turned and moved to sit down on the empty chair next to you, feeling your hand grabbing hold of his. And god did he not realise he needed that.
Together, you watched as the officiant began to read his lines, Ermes and Jolyne only having eyes for each other at this point.
They looked gorgeous and so so happy together and Jotaro was once again reminded of the Joestar family saying. Joestars only fell in love once in their life. And Jolyne had found her single love.
As the ceremony progressed, the entire church was dead silent, solely focused on the couple while the sun continued to shine perfectly down through the windows, bathing them in a multitude of colours.
And then, it came time for that dreaded part of the ceremony as the officiant called out. “Is there anyone who objects to this union?”
Turning around, Jotaro glared at the man sitting two rows back from him, but before either could do anything, a snap came from behind the raven, followed quickly by a kiss sound coming from around Anasui. He opened his mouth to protest and both you and Jotaro watched how there were two tongues in his mouth, only to snap together as Ermes’ signature Stand sticker disappeared.
Immediately, Weather Report shoved a handkerchief towards the man so he could hide his grunt of pain, as well as the blood.
For, with his tongue shredded, Anasui couldn’t speak a single word.
“Very well. The rings, if you’d please.” The officiant asked and carefully, Emporio stood up from his seat beside you, walking over to the two where he presented the rings.
With a smile, Jolyne took one first, slowly sliding it onto Ermes’ hand while repeating the phrase the officiant read aloud. Shortly after, Ermes did the same, Emporio walking back over to his seat.
Watching it together, Jotaro held your hand tighter and tighter, watching as Ermes now reached up, lifting Jolyne’s veil.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Reaching out, Jolyne grabbed Ermes by the hips before twisting her into a dip and kissing her deep as instantly, applause and cheering roared out through the church.
Your smile was as wide as the Chesire cat’s as you stood up like many as you watched the scene.
And as you looked over at Jotaro, his eyes were misty as he watched, clapping as he stood beside you, seeing Jolyne pull Ermes back to her feet, the two of them smiling sweetly at each other before sharing another, more tender kiss.
With that, the two of them began to ran down the aisle together, rushing out the doors and as you watched, Jotaro’s arm slid around your waist as he pulled you in tight, not having his hat to be able to hide his emotions.
-
If you wanna commission me
258 notes · View notes
seeingivy · 4 months
Text
middle name
ryomen sukuna x f!reader
**part of my best friends older brother fic
previous part linked here
--
all you can do is stare.  
there’s the smallest hint of gray hairs mixed in with his natural color. his hair is longer, but it’s still the same color. he has the faintest smile lines near his eyes and that small wisp of a beard that he used to always sport is long gone. 
he looks younger. what you assume is his youngest daughter is wearing a sparkly green bracelet. green was always sammy’s favorite color. they both seem to have his nose – though that’s really the only resemblance they bear, since they almost entirely take after the lady at their side. 
she had to be younger than him, a willowing black dress clinging lovingly to her figure. she had the same smile lines and that short haircut that you find young moms always sported, with three stacked silver chains and a glittering diamond on her finger. 
you wonder if she smells like vanilla like your mom does. 
“don’t react.” 
you turn to your left to find sammy at your side, sukuna and yuuji hovering in the background with matching hazel eyes filled with concern. you shake your head – throwing away the image of their picture perfect smiles – as you focus on sammy, mostly on the fact that her upper lip is trembling. 
sammy was always the favorite. 
“what did you say?” you ask. 
“don’t react.” sammy repeats. 
you pause, mulling over the thought. 
“okay.” you respond. 
“yeah? because we can’t give that asshole the satisfaction. he has no right barging in here the way he just did.” sammy seethes. 
you give her a nod, before she takes her side next to you on the wall, the four of you leaning against the wallpaper. sukuna slithers his hand into yours, offering you a smile that you don’t return, before focusing back on the four of them in the living room. 
it annoyed you – that you didn’t have enough time to really consider what the best course of action would be. not reacting, you suppose you could understand the appeal. of showing him that you were above him, that he didn’t even warrant a response. 
but deep down, you wondered if that would bother you the day after next. if you would be standing in the shower, rinsing the soap out of your hair, and somehow come up with the right thing to say, that would perfectly encapsulate whatever it was that you were feeling. 
though you suppose that’s easier said than done. you can barely put words to whatever it is that’s forming in your chest. 
you watch as he talks to sukuna’s old basketball coach. so loudly animated as he chats – about how the property values are better two towns over and how the school district is better for the girls. you wonder if the coach thinks it’s offensive. you wonder if he ever considered that you and sammy needed to switch to a better school too. 
and it happens in a split second – your dad catching the sight of the four of you – before lifting off the couch and closing the distance between you. yuuji shoots you a weary glance as he gives the four of you a bright smile, before clearing his throat. 
you catch a slight whiff of the lemon smell as he walks up, though the lingering scent of smoke you remember gone all together. 
“sukuna. is that you?” 
you look over at sukuna, watching as he swallows hard, before clenching his jaw. 
“yes.” 
you watch as he frowns, before pressing one of his hands to his chest. 
“i’m so sorry for your loss, kid.” he states. 
“sure. thanks.” sukuna responds, rather stiffly. 
you can tell that your dad finds the situation uncomfortable – being treated so blandly by the kid he watched grow up, a kid that he knows could surely be more expressive than that – as his eyes flicker over to you and then back to sukuna. 
“your dad told me you studied abroad in europe. is this a pretty girlfriend you brought back?” 
you bite down so hard on your cheek that all you taste is metallic blood pouring out of the side of your mouth. the implication makes all of you seethe. 
that he still talked to people in town. that sukuna’s dad had known his whereabouts, probably for years. and worst of all, that he didn’t recognize you. 
“what?” sukuna hisses. 
your dad turns over to you, eyes bright, as he holds his hand out. you can feel a sensational burning in the back of your eyes. 
“he always used to brag about how his son was studying with the greats. i’m mr. l/n. i’ve known sukuna since he was little.” he states, holding his hand out. 
you swallow down the lump of bile, before extending your hand out to him, unsettled by the freezing cold feeling. 
that was in no way what mr. itadori said. and he didn't know sukuna, only briefly, when he was little, before he ran away. and you know exactly who he is – far too well. 
“nice to meet you.” you mumble. 
“take care of this one, okay? he’s a tough one, but we all need a little love sometimes.” he jokes, lightly tapping sukuna on the shoulder. 
you watch as he gives sukuna a lingering smile, before shuffling over two steps to where sammy is. sukuna places his hands on your shoulders, his eyes boring into yours – like he’s trying to beckon for your attention – as you watch the two of them. 
“hi sammy girl.” he whispers. 
you watch as sammy’s eyes water. sukuna watches as you clench your jaw. 
“hi dad.” she whispers. 
so much for not reacting. 
you wonder if you would have broken just as fast if he recognized you. though you suppose you’ll never know, because he didn’t. 
it’s a long list of things you’ll never know. the questions that bother you at night – the ones that expose that deep rooted rot that festered in your brain –  seem to come to the surface for the first time, in broad daylight. 
when did he fall out of love with your mom? when was sukuna going to fall out of love with you? why does he have such a distaste for you? if you were more polite like sammy, would he have stayed? if you screamed a little louder, would the begging have worked? 
“i wanted to tell you something.” 
you watch as he slings his hand around sammy’s shoulder, squeezing hard, before pointing to the two little girls that are seated on the couch, the two of which were making a mess of mrs. itadori’s coaster set. you wonder what she’d think fo all of this, if she wasn’t so preoccupied. 
“those are my girls. claire and molly.” 
you watch as sammy scrunches up her nose, her fists clenched into little balls at her side. 
“molly was born a year ago. she’s a little shy, but she loves music. but claire, claire’s the exact opposite. headstrong, strong-willed. exactly how a big sister should be.” 
“so?” sammy asks, her voice dripping with attitude. 
he shakes his head. 
“what i mean is that my girl claire reminds me of you. my first girl. so much so, that…well. claire and molly are real special to me. but you, my sammy girl, are always going to be the person who made me a father. that’s why i made claire’s name claire samantha.” 
you watch the tears spill from sammy’s eyes, the most bitter contempt in her eyes, as she turns to him, wiping away the stray. 
the questions return. what festers in someone to breed such cruelty? what horrors could you and sammy had exacted in your past life to deserve it? how much pressure does it take before something cracks? 
would sammy ever get over the fact that she had basically, for all intents and purposes, been replaced? which one is worse – not warranting recognition or just enough to be traded out for the shinier new model? 
“thanks dad. that’s real kind of you.” she mutters, crossing her hands over her chest before leaning back against the wall. 
you watch as his face falls, albeit halfheartedly – the clear inclination that he didn’t really mind that the statement didn’t land as he intended – before he turns back to the three of you and gives you an awkward smile. 
“family stuff.” he mutters. 
he disgusts you.
“well, i’ll take my leave. molly’s about to start fussing. i’m very sorry for your loss again, boys.” 
you watch as he walks off, retreating back to the couch and picking up claire – claire samantha – before you feel sukuna’s lips on your temple, his hands rubbing circles into your side. yuuji’s at sammy’s side, offering her his pocket square which she takes. 
“oh shit.” sammy mutters. 
“what?” you ask. 
“he’s going to the patio, where mom is.” 
you clear your throat, turning on your heel to move, before sammy reaches for your elbow. 
“it’s better if you stay here. you don’t want to make things worse when he realizes it’s actually you.” sammy responds, before walking off towards the direction of the room. 
sukuna watches as you step back, cursing the fact that sammy, for the most part, always seemed to have a horrible way with words, as he reaches for your hand. 
he knows what she meant. that whatever reaction your mom was going to warrant would get infinitely worse when she realized that your own father wasn’t able to recognize you at first glance. 
but she didn’t need to say it like that, sinking words placing the blame on you. 
“she didn’t mean it like that.” yuuji states. 
sukuna watches as you look over at yuuji, face blank, as you nod. he can see that you’re picking at the scab from the shot glass a few days prior on your hand, but you sidestep too fast before he stick his hand in between yours and make you stop. 
“i know.” you respond. 
it stings. 
“i’m just going to take a minute. i’ll be back.” you respond. 
you drag your feet as fast as they can take you to sukuna’s room, before shutting the door behind you, quick and fast breaths heaving out of your chest as your vision blurs. sukuna’s voice is quiet, muffled by the wood. 
“hey. i’m on the other side when you’re ready for me, okay pretty girl?” 
--
you sit in sukuna’s room for two hours, watching the sun sink down into the horizon from his window, watching as people trail in and out of the front door from below. it’s a pretty sunset – a vibrant mix of purple, blue, and pink – with the clouds swirling beneath. 
if sukuna’s dad was a different type of guy, you’d almost think it was a sign from him. that sweet solace that people felt – seeing their loved ones in the beauty of nature. 
though, you’d figure he’d be more of a hurricane or a tornado, wrecking havoc to everything he touched, as opposed to a pretty sunet that shed light. 
sitting at the windowsill is the first time you realize that from sukuna’s vantage point, he’s always had a perfect view of your bedroom window. it’s not exactly level, so you assume that he was probably never able to see much, except for if your light was on or off and if your curtains were pulled. 
you wonder how often he stared at it. 
you find one of his sukuna’s old hoodies and pull it over your dress, before climbing into his sheets and pressing your face into his pillow. it smells faintly of his shampoo, the smell so sweetly comforting, as you feel your eyes swell up, the choking feeling in your throat unbearable. 
the sounds that leave you are embarrassing, but luckily, you’re the only one who can hear them. 
[sammy]: mai came to get me. let’s talk tomorrow okay? 
the typing bubble appears, before disappearing. and after a few minutes, a second text followers. 
[sammy]: i love you. 
you wonder if that complicated, infected part of your brain that seemed to always cultivate some type of disgust for sammy, even when nothing really happened, was a part that you got from your dad. 
you’re almost positive that it is. and it bothers you that it somehow feels like it’s something so fundamental, almost biological, that she’ll always rub salt into a wound that you can’t even heal. 
you turn your phone off instead. 
--
“are you okay? your mom mentioned that you went upstairs pretty abruptly, said you needed a minute.” 
sukuna looks up to find your mom standing there, two ice cold bottles of water in her hands, before she plops down on the carpet next to him, hiking her knees to her chest. the usual picture of perfect hair is astray, the front stands pulled out, and sukuna absentmindedly wonders if you get your hair pulling habit from her. 
he doesn’t respond. only because what he said was a lie. 
not entirely at least. it was true that he needed a minute, it was just an obstruction of truth that he really needed to take that minute for you. 
sukuna notes that she doesn’t mind the silence that much – not only because it’s something that she was well versed in, the mere fact that sukuna didn’t really like to talk when it came to things like this – and instead changes the subject. 
“has she come out yet?” she asks. 
“no. did yuuji tell you what happened?” sukuna responds. 
she smiles, leaning her head back against the rungs of the stairs. 
“you missed quite a show downstairs.” 
“what?” 
she laughs, before reaching up to mess with the ends of the strand closest to her ear. 
“he walked out onto the patio with his wife, cindy he said her name was, because he wanted to offer his condolences. your mom responded by slapping him across the face.” 
sukuna wishes he was there to see it. or do it himself. 
“he was about to start yelling but that’s when sammy came out. i got the gist of what happened before, because sammy basically dragged him out on his ear, giving him a choice set of words about how he can’t gives his new daughter the same names as his old ones, and that he wasn’t her father, no matter how much he deluded himself into thinking that he was.” 
sukuna watches as she pauses, taking a shaky breath. 
“he told sammy that he wouldn’t really want to be their father anyways, which is why he left, and yuuji punched him in the face.” 
sukuna pinches the bridge of his nose. 
“i really did miss a show, didn’t i?” he mutters. 
“nothing we aren’t used to. i’d think hell froze over if there wasn’t some type of drama at this thing. though, i’d expect violent dramatics from you, not yuuji.” 
sukuna shakes his head. 
“he came up and talked to all of us before you. he didn’t even recognize y/n, he…he thought she was some girlfriend i brought home from studying abroad. and i’d almost understand it – she was really little when she left – but there’s no excuse. she looks the exact same.” sukuna offers. 
sukuna looks over, seeing the same bridge of your nose mirrored in her face, before looking back at the faded paint chipping off the wood of his bedroom door. he wished that he had yuuji’s horrible habits of hoarding snacks in his room, just so that you weren’t sitting in there crying.  
“do you have the key?” 
“what?” 
“the key to the door.” she states. 
sukuna bites at his lip. 
“i’m not going to open it. or give it to you. she’ll come out when she’s ready for me.” sukuna mutters. 
he watches as she laughs, full bellied and warm, before reaching forward and tangling the matted mess of his hair off of his forehead. 
“have i ever been one to force you to do anything?” 
sukuna sighs, slumping against the wall, before shaking his head. 
he had heard the sentiment before, the first time he carried his tired and bleeding knees to the porch, after being kicked out of his house for the first time. 
he nearly beat his knuckles bloody from knocking on the door loud enough before she came down, tired and weary eyes that were instantly snapped awake at his crying. and he can’t exactly remember what it was that he said, though he assumes that it wasn’t short of rudeness. 
when he begged to stay. and when she let him in without a second glance, he said it quietly.
“you can’t force me to tell you what happened.” 
and the response was always the same – the seventh, eight, and ninth time – before he finally got a understood. 
have i ever been one to force you to do anything? 
“do me a favor, sukuna.” she states. 
“okay.” 
“let me take care of your mom.” 
sukuna looks over at her, taken aback by the sentiment. he was half expecting the half hearted lecture that sammy gave him months prior, about being careful and gentle with her sister, and was expecting a tougher version of that to come from what he knew was a very opinionated and defensive woman. 
“what?” 
“the worst part is over. i appreciate you picking up slack with me where you could and i’m sorry i couldn’t help more.” 
sukuna shakes his head. 
“she was basically debilitated. you had to stay with her.” he offers. 
“and you sicked my daughter on your brother. but his boyfriend has got him for the rest and i’ll be with your mom for the foreseeable future, like i always have been.” 
“i don’t think –” 
“you’re leaving here tonight. and you’re taking my daughter with you.” she states. 
sukuna shrugs. 
“i can’t just leave her. she’s my mom and…and she’s been so fucking fragile for the past few days. you saw how she acted when –” 
“and you’re her son. that’s not your job.” 
she pauses. 
“you step back and take care of my daughter. and maybe more importantly, let my daughter take care of you.” she whispers, raking her fingers through his hair again. 
sukuna feels a shiver down his spine, before shaking his head. he can’t just leave. 
“no.” 
“sukuna.” 
he shakes his head again, this time more fervently. 
he can’t just leave. he can’t just pawn his own mother off to her and his brother to megumi and walk away. 
“you know that godawful, shitty dining table downstairs that your dad picked out? the one that we gave to goodwill when he left for his trip to new york?” 
“yeah.” 
he remembered the fight that followed after when he realized it was gone. and sometimes, he wondered why his mom would pick a fight over something so trivial as a table. 
“it was really heavy. seeing it every day irritated her to no end – that this was her house and her space and that he had taken over it another time. it pissed your mom off so much that every night, after they fought, she’d try to push it out of that damn room on her own. ” 
sukuna snorts. 
“i remember that.” 
she smiles. 
“i remember it too. watching her try to push it out of that room on her own, barely making a dent in moving it the merest inch. i think sammy even took a picture of it with that shitty disposable camera i bought her.” 
sukuna rubs his palms together. 
“okay.”
“i ended up helping her. carried one side and we were able to move it a few more inches. it didn’t really do much, so i got that piece of shit down the street, to help us too. and the old guy who used to live next door, the handyman. your dad was on a three day trip and it took five of us to push that god forsaken table out of the house.” 
sukuna feels her pull him closer, wrapping him in a hug. it makes his chest pang, eerily similar to the feeling of being sixteen and sitting on the fact that he was going to leave without saying goodbye. 
“my point is that there’s just some things you can’t carry alone, son.” 
sukuna feels his throat dry. his eyes water, as he understands – the embarrassing and pitiful question spilling out as a byproduct. 
“what if it’s too heavy for her? what…what if i can’t hold her up?” he asks, shaking his head as his voice cracks. 
what if sukuna breaks his lifeline? an even worse fate than you dying – being the one responsible for killing you. 
she smiles, before gesturing to her left, where sukuna sees yuuji standing. 
“you’re more than capable, sukuna. you always have been. and there’s always an extra set of hands to help you lift.” 
the thought comes an hour later. 
maybe his mom did get to meet the love of her life. and maybe it just wasn’t the person he was expecting it to be. 
the second one that follows makes even more sense. 
of course the love was always going to be there between you and him. it was destined before you even got here. genetic even. 
--
you make it back home around two in the morning, to three plastic wrapped plates of dinner and megumi asleep on your couch. 
it feels a little bit like intruding, but the two of you can’t help but stare as yuuji lightly nudges megumi to wake up, the latter of whom literally bolts up at the sight of him, arms quick on his face before pressing a kiss to his cheek. 
you look over at sukuna, gesturing for him to turn around with you, as sukuna unboxes the closest package – the replacement of the broken mug from your birthday – as you hear the two of them retreat, a quiet goodnight whispered to the pair of you. 
“which mug do you want?” he asks. 
“we can just share.”
there’s a ghost of a smile on his face as he wraps his hands around your wrists, his touch warm as he pulls you forward, tucking you straight into his arms and resting his chin against the top of your head. 
and you’re not sure when it starts, but it’s not long before he’s quietly weeping, his frame shaking under you as you bury yourself closer to him, his heart pounding under your ear as you run your hands up and down his arms, quietly whispering into his ears. 
he doesn’t stop. he makes no inclination of stopping and it sends a shiver down your spine. 
you pull back, cupping his flushed pink cheeks, and wiping away the wetness from his eyelashes before locking your fingers together behind his neck. 
“you took my jacket.” he whispers, voice strained. 
“it was cold in your room.” you respond. 
he nods, before leaning his forehead against yours, quietly trying to steady his breaths in pace with yours, before he abruptly pulls away, and leans against the granite. 
“what’s wrong?” you ask. 
he gestures his head to the left, where yuuji is standing, before quickly wiping the wetness from his face and pouring the warm milk into the mug. you give him a nod before retreating over to where yuuji is standing, his eyes glued to sukuna. 
“yuuji?” 
yuuji looks over at you, shaking his head. 
“sorry. i wanted to take a shower. do you –” 
“i’ll get you a towel, yuu.” 
yuuji watches as you retreat, socks sliding on the tile, as he runs his hand through his hair, a deeply sweltering hot regret in his chest. 
he had you pegged all wrong. both of you, written off the second he found out about it. 
yuuji had the tiniest glimpse of it the other day. the way you so freely ranted to sukuna, watching as he quietly attended to you by braiding your hair to stop you from pulling at it, really – exuding a quiet comfort he didn’t even know he possessed. 
but this was worse. because while you were being exactly who he knew you to be – maybe just shocked that you were able to do it with someone else – what he just saw in the short amount of time – sukuna freely crying, or more importantly, openly humbling himself to let someone in to help him crawl out – it was foreign. 
unheard of. yuuji was almost positive that sukuna hadn’t even done it before, being so vulnerable with someone. 
and he had been giving him a hard time for it
“here’s your towel.” 
yuuji grabs your hand as you hand it over to him, squeezing hard as he looks up at you, teary eyed. 
“thank you.”
for loving my brother. 
“of course. get some rest.” you respond, giving him a smile as you watch him retreat back to the room. 
sukuna’s crying has ceased when you make your way back to the kitchen. there’s a steaming cup of hot chocolate with a godawful amount of marshmallows and whipped cream, that he passes over to you for the first sip. 
“i’m back.” you respond. 
he nods, as he place the cup in your hand hand. and it’s a searing warmth in your cheeks as sukuna lifts his hand, wiping the whipped cream residue from the top of your lip. 
“real cute.” he responds, before licking the excess off his own fingers. 
you shrug. 
“i try.” 
he smiles, taking the mug from you. 
you’re confused by what happens next – because it looks like he’s going to say something, even going as far as opening his mouth to start talking, before he clamps it shut, with something steaming behind his eyes that you can’t really understand. 
and he does it a few times.
“are you okay?” 
“yeah. yeah, i just…was trying to figure out how to talk.” 
“how to talk?” you ask. 
“you know. about all the stuff.” 
you hum in response, before looping your arm around his torso, watching the marshmallows slowly dampen under the warm liquid, the smallest amount of steam still leaving the glass. 
“it’s probably a lot.” you murmur. 
“you have no idea.” 
“how about you pick one thing? and we’ll do one thing at a time.” 
sukuna nods, heaving a deep sigh, before tangling his free hand into your hair. 
“my dad was a piece of shit.” 
one of the marshmallows sinks down into the cup, the curved waves of the whipped cream disintegrating with it. 
“i mean…my dad was a piece of shit. he died a piece of shit and now he won’t ever be anything else.” 
you nod. 
“do you…do you know those lifetime shows? where people go on the news and talk about how…how different things changed their lives? like families getting out of horrible financial situations and being happy or people finally getting time to put the work in to better themselves?” 
“yeah.” 
“i had this really, really crappy thought that i held on to when i was a kid. that some day, that prick would just wake up, and realize what really mattered. that he’d put in the work, that i’d watch my mom get what she deserved, and…and he’d come to my wedding.” he murmurs. 
sukuna shakes his head, before clenching his jaw. 
“knowing him, the last thing he probably said about you was shitty. and not because he was some vile, sick asshole filled with hatred for you – but hatred for me. for yuuji. for the fact that you were fine with yuuji just as he was. liked me just as i am.” 
the steam from the mug is gone. 
“that stupid asshole died just as he was. a homophobic, misogynistic prick. he won’t ever change.” 
you lean your head against his shoulder. 
“still hurts, doesn’t it?” you ask. 
sukuna nods. 
and thanks his lucky stars that you had that in you, to parse out what he really meant. that his dad died just as he was and now sukuna knows that whatever it was he lost out on is something he won’t ever be able to get back. 
grief for what was never going to be. 
“more than you know.” he responds. 
sukuna pauses. 
“what do you think about it?” he asks. 
you look down at the mug. 
“that it’s his loss.” 
“what?” 
“by some turn of fate, your dad was very undeservingly blessed with two very loving children. it’s his loss that he’s died without even getting to feel even an inch of that. and i get it, that on paper, his legacy, his career – it’s seemed so worthwhile to people at your house. that even though he died young, he lived a very full life.” 
you push the mug over to him. 
“to me, it always seemed like he was chasing something. a better title at work, a bigger party he could throw to show off, anything that made him feel like he was larger than life. and i feel sorry for him. he’s had two boys that give the word love meaning under his roof for all these years and it’s embarrassing for him that he never got to feel it.” 
you shrug. 
“you won’t ever get to have the dad you wanted. but he won’t ever get to reap the benefits, the good love, of what he already had.” 
sukuna leans forward, gentle hands on your cheeks, before locking his lips with yours, the kiss mixed in with his quiet tears. 
the best kind of kiss he could give you – affectionate. devoted. and bare. you felt like the smallest parts of him were in the palm of your hand, to cherish and preserve. 
“your turn.” he whispers. 
you snort. 
“do you have short term memory loss? i just told you what i thought.” 
sukuna shakes his head, wiping the wetness on the back of his hand, before clearing his throat. 
“i gave you three hours in that room. it’s your turn.” 
you elbow him in the side, before lifting the mug with your hands. 
“i gave you a week.” 
“you’ve always been more patient than me. i nearly broke the door down.” 
you roll your eyes. 
“i know you have a key.” 
“and i’d never use it.” sukuna affirms. 
you smile, seeping in the warmth of the ceramic mug, as you look down at the flowery print, a mottled mess of liquid swimming from everything you had mixed in the cup.
“some part of me thinks that i’m rotten.” 
sukuna watches as you set the mug down, reaching for the ends of your hair as you twirl them in your fingers. 
“what?” 
you sigh, warm tears in your eyes. 
“i always thought that there was something wrong with me. there was always a rotten part of me, deep down, and everything i was doing was to keep it from getting out. like…like an infection or something.” 
“okay.” sukuna whispers, his tone in his voice beckoning for you to continue. 
“he’s vile. he’s vile for showing up to your dad’s funeral. for not even saying a word to yuuji when he was there the day he was born, for trying to sweet talk on your behalf like he knows you or something. having a new family, two new girls, not even sparing a second glance to what came before.” 
you pause. 
“and he’s my dad. he’s vile and sometimes i feel like he’s…he’s in my head. that some part of him is always going to be intertwined with me and deep down, running through my blood, and that’s why i won’t ever win.” 
sukuna reaches forward, cupping your warm cheeks in the palm of his hands. and you look up at him, warm brown hazel eyes so washed in concern for you, and it makes your chest hurt. 
“i look at you and all i can think about is that one day, it’ll be the last time you’ll look at me like that. because you’ll leave. you’ll realize that it’s just lipstick on a pig, or…or too much and you’ll take your leave for something better.” 
sukuna wishes that he was the one who got to punch him instead of yuuji. 
“what do you think?” you ask. 
sukuna drops his hold, lifting your hands against his lips and pressing a kiss against your knuckles. 
“that i wish i punched him instead.” he states. 
“what? someone punched him?” 
sukuna smiles. 
“my mom slapped him. and yuuji punched him. everyone got to have their cake except for me.” 
you snort. 
“i wish it was me. because i think he’s sick in the head.” 
typical. sukuna was never one to really mince his words. 
“i think it’s absolutely disgusting that he left without a trace and that the one person he talked to when he left was my dad – though i suppose that’s fitting.”
sukuna pauses. 
“it’s been criminal to watch your mom suffer when she’s one of the first people who gave me a lifeline…and when she brought my second lifeline into this world.” 
you smile. 
“i think any bit of harshness or judgment i’ve passed on sammy is unfair, because i think i’d be immeasurably cruel at times too if the one person who was required to love me felt that i was special enough to deserve a replacement, but not enough to be the one who was actually loved.” 
you sigh.. 
“and i think it’s batshit insane that he was unable to recognize you when most of the time, you’re the only person in the room with me. it’s entirely unbelievable to me that the one person he gave no recognition to is probably the only person who would ever deserve it.” 
sukuna looks down at you and frowns.
“you’re a considerate daughter, a compassionate sister – maybe even when you shouldn’t be – and the warmest friend that my brother has ever had.” 
sukuna leans forward, pressing a wet kiss to your forehead. 
“you’re a beautiful girlfriend, so painfully kind-hearted towards me that i’m half convinced you’re god with the way you’re able to fix everything with just your hands. you’re everything good and every part of you is worth acknowledging and appreciating. it’s humiliating for your dad that he’s part of the reason you’re here – and that he won’t ever be able to realize that his greatest accomplishment is you.” 
you lean forward, tucking yourself into his neck, and it makes sukuna shiver – the cold tears running down his neck as you quietly sob, your voice muffled against the fabric of his jacket. 
“you think i’m god?” you sniffle. 
sukuna rolls his eyes, unable to contain his smile. 
“of course that’s what you take away from it.” 
you lean back, looking up at him and the smile on his face. and you commit it to memory – the laugh, the love in the silence, and how it persists in the pain. 
“people worship gods.” you clarify. 
“and i worship you.” 
you curl your nose in disgust. 
“ew, sukuna.” 
“you’re not saying ew when i’m doing it. it sounds a lot more like –” 
you wrap your hand over his mouth, before shushing him. 
“your brother is in the next room over.” 
“he’s always such a thorn in my side.” sukuna mutters, earning you a laugh from him. 
the two of you retreat after the fact. you wash sukuna’s hair in the shower. he insists on doing your skincare for you. and the sun rises on the two of you the next day.
--
next part linked here
an: LOL. ok I write dream girl now I just wanted to get that out of me.
edit: someone left an ??? upset? or like...idk the word for it comment on ao3 about the fact that it's kind of toxic that sukuna calls her god at the end. pls know that it's JUST a metaphor and he's just trying to compare her to something that's really important and being hyperbolic 💌
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