#you know the germans always make good stuff

[medicinemane]

All I'll say, is that college professor who bitch about "professionalism" in students forgets that it cuts both ways

You're a professor, this is a student. You are in theory at least and educator, and so when someone behaves in a way you find unbecoming it's your duty to say "in future please do ___ because that's the polite way to do things" rather than just tearing into them and complaining... to do other wise... well it lacks professionalism

Because it's never a reaction to the student being like "Yo what up skank?", it's always something minor that's not even a universal faux pas

Which cuts to to the core of what it's really about, it's never the language used, or that handing in an assignment only x minutes before the due date is an issue, it's a pure power trip

I don't know about you, but I find power tripping pretty unprofessional

These professors will act like the sun shines out their ass while throwing bigger tantrum over nothing than a toddler would, while citing that the student isn't behaving properly and it's just... you're a disgrace to education, you make academia worse with your presence, you have the emotional stability of a child, and for all your pomp and airs you lack even basic manners which is the foundation of being a professional

Just get tired of that kind of professor and wanted to complain about them

(Bonus complaint, professors who brag that only a small % of students pass their class. Oh... so you're a bad teacher... you're not good at your job. You fail at the one thing you're paid to do with a large % of your students)

[fxrmuladaydreams]

austrailian kisses (sv5) (dr3)

pornstar!seb x reader , pornstar!daniel x reader

summary: you take seb’s advice to broaden your horizons and spend some time with his austrailian friend

notes: this may be the filthiest thing i’ve ever written.

warnings: !! CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI !! bondage, oral (f receiving), sex toys (vibrator), overstimulation

prev part next part

You were hesitant to text Daniel. How were you meant to go about this? Should you just come out with it and ask to collaborate with him? He did say he was a fan, but he just being nice?

You swallow your nerves and shoot him a text saying hello and introducing yourself.

To Daniel

Hey Daniel, it’s Y/n, the girl that Sebastian was filming with last week. He gave me your phone number so that I could message you.

I was wondering if you wanted to try to film something together? If not, I get it. It was nice meeting you the other day.

You throw your phone to the other side of your bed and bury your face in your hands. How was Sebastian able to be so confident when he asked you to collaborate?

A few minutes later your phone buzzes, the screen lighting up with a notification.

From Daniel

Hey Y/n, of course I remember you, I wasn’t lying when I said I was a fan. I’d love to work on something with you.

You let out a breath then text him back, making plans to meet in person.

You felt odd, waiting for Daniel at a cafe. Your mind flashed back to the nerves you had when meeting Sebastian for the first time, how he was effortlessly charming, and so easy to fall for. You shake the thoughts out of your head. You’re doing this to move on, to forget about Sebastian.

Daniel comes in wearing a cream colored hoodie with jeans, and a baseball cap over his head. He grins when he sees you. You reach a hand out to shake his, he grabs it pulling you into a hug.

He’s got a smile plastered on his face, and his eyes are bright and warm. He pays for your drink and a few pastries for you to share, scoffing when you try to pull your own wallet out to pay.

“Don’t even try it sweetheart.” He smiles, handing the cashier his card.

Daniel is different than you thought he’d be. He’s always so controlling and commanding in his videos, but in person he’s all smiles and soft touches. He’s sunshine personified.

“Have you seen my stuff?” He asks when there’s a break in the conversation. “I watched your videos with Seb, and I feel like I should tell you I’m a lot more… dominant… than he is.”

You feel a thrill run through you at his words. “I’ve seen your videos.” You nod. “But I want that. I want what Sebastian couldn’t give me.” You ignore the double meaning in your words.

Daniel smirks. “Alright then sweetheart.”

You make plans to go back to the studio to film the next day. You feel odd getting ready. Knowing that soon someone will start knocking on your door, but it won’t be the blonde German you’ve grown accustomed to.

You scold yourself for hoping to see Sebastian when you do hear knocking, and feel a little disappointed when you see Daniel standing at your door.

“Ready to go?” He asks.

You nod, walking with him to his car. The ride is silent. You spend a good portion of it staring out the window, while Daniel keeps glancing over at you.

He sighs. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It won’t hurt my feelings or anything.”

“No, no, I want to.” You reassure him.

“If you ever feel uncomfortable, remember the safe word. We’ll stop immediately, no questions asked.” He reminds you.

He helps you out of his car, and guides you inside with a hand on the small of your back. You feel your heart sink when he takes you to the room you had filmed Sebastian’s video in.

He looks down at you as he feels you tense up next to him. “Is this okay? We can go somewhere else if you want-”

“No. It’s fine.” You cut him off. “Let’s set up your camera.”

He gives you a hesitant nod, pulling out his camera and tripod from his bag.

“Alright, let’s get started.” You say once he’s finished setting up.

Daniel can tell something is off. You seem uncomfortable in this room, so he decides to try to use his charm to lighten the mood.

“Have you ever had an Australian kiss before?” He asks.

“What’s an Australian kiss?”

“It’s like a French kiss, but it’s down under.” He smirks as you feel your face warm up.

He pulls you clothes off of you, letting his hands wander each new expanse of skin that’s revealed. He takes your arms carefully to tie them up behind you. He tugs on the restraints, then lays you down, checking to make sure you’re still comfortable. He plays with your breasts before moving down to rest between your legs. He pulls them apart and softly strokes your folds.

“Look at how pretty you are.” He softly presses his thumb against your clit, pulling a gasp from you. “You’re so sensitive, aren’t you bunny?”

You feel a pain in your chest at the nickname, the one given to you by Sebastian, now being used by Daniel, but that’s quickly forgotten when you feel his finger slowly push inside you. You moan, lifting your hips up at the intrusion.

“Aww, such a needy little thing.” Daniel murmurs as he starts to curl his finger inside you. He pushes a second one inside you, his thick digits spreading you open further for him.

He stills his fingers in you, and smirks when you whine. “I know bunny, so desperate to get fucked? Why don’t you fuck yourself on my fingers.” He coos.

You rock your hips against his hand, hands gripping the bedsheets under you. You falter when his palm brushes against your clit, slowing the rhythm you created.

“You can’t get yourself off, can you? Do you need me to help you cum?”

“Yes, please!” You whine.

“I don’t believe you bunny. Beg me.”

You plead with him, your words falling out of your mouth quickly, desperate for him to make you cum.

He curls his fingers again once he’s satisfied, now fucking you roughly with them. He leans down and takes your clit in his mouth, rolling it against his tongue.

He feels you clench around his fingers and pulls himself away from your clit. “You’re so tight bunny, are you ready to cum?”

You nod quickly. “Yes, please make me cum, please!”

He takes your clit back in his mouth, sucking on it harshly. You feel yourself practically thrown over the edge as your orgasm hits you.

Daniel pulls his fingers out of you, replacing them with his tongue. He takes everything you give him, slurping obscenely from your cunt.

Just as you feel yourself start to come down from your high, he pushes his tongue back inside you. You let out a loud moan that turns into a whine as you feel his nose brush against your clit.

“C’mon bunny, you were just begging me to make you cum a second ago, isn’t this what you want?” He doesn’t wait for your response before he throws your legs over his shoulders and buries his face between them again.

He moans against your core, and looks up at you. “You taste delicious bunny.”

You feel a second orgasm quickly approaching, and before you can warn Daniel, you feel yourself release on his tongue.

Daniel licks up your cum, but pulls away shaking his head.

“Did I tell you that you could cum?” He asks. When you don’t answer, mind still a little fuzzy from your climax, he lands a sharp slap to your clit.

You yelp, attempting to pull your hips away from him.

“Don’t try and run away. I asked you a question bunny. Did I say you could cum?” He stands up now, practically towering over you.

“No, you didn’t.” You say, your eyes welling up with tears.

“Then I think I need to punish you. Turn you back into a good little bunny.” He says.

He steps away, leaving you wiggling around on the bed. You close your legs, feeling your release spread over your thighs.

When he comes back he holds a black vibrator in one hand, and tape in the other. He rests the toy against your thigh, making sure the head presses against your clit. He tapes it to you, making sure it’s secure.

“Remember the safe word?” He whispers in your ear.

“Yes Daniel.” You whisper back.

He nods before turning it on to the lowest setting.

You whine, twisting your hips around in an attempt to move away from the vibrations.

“You wanted to cum so bad, so now you’re going to cum until I’m finished watching you.” Daniel moves behind the camera, watching you through the viewfinder.

You lose count of how many orgasms you have, you mind far too cloudy to keep track. With every one Daniel walks back over to you and turns the vibrator up one setting, until it’s buzzing is arguably just as loud as your moans.

“I can’t- I can’t! No more, please!” You thrash, feeling a mix of pleasure and pain between your legs.

“C’mon bunny, give me one more good one, and I’ll stop it.” Daniel coaxes.

He doesn’t have to wait long for your past orgasm to shoot through you, your vision almost blackening out.

Daniel reaches out to turn the vibrator off, then pulls the camera off the tripod and walking over to you. He pulls your legs apart to show the camera the mess you’ve made, then pans it up to see your face. You struggle to keep your eyes open, you’ve got a sheen of sweat over your body, and your hair lays in a mess around your head.

Daniel softly strokes your cheek, smiling when you lean into his touch. “You were so good for me, my good little bunny.”

You flush at his praise, and give the camera a lazy smile.

He shuts the camera off, then gently lifts you to sit up. He leans you against his chest as he reaches behind you to untie your hands. Next he softly pulls the tape and vibrator off your leg.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I sweetheart?” He asks, the smiley soft Daniel back immediately.

You shake your head. “No, that was so much fun.” You turn to get up, wincing at the feeling between your legs.

“Here.” Daniel grabs a towel, wiping off your legs.

He helps you stand up, you lean against him for balance, your legs shaking like a newborn deer.

“I’ve got you.” He says as he helps you get dressed.

You walk back to his car with his arm around your waist, whether it’s to help your balance or just affection after your previous activities you don’t know, but you have to admit to yourself that it does feel nice.

He keeps chatting with you in the car in an attempt to keep you awake and aware. You furrow your brows when he passes your home.

“Daniel, where are we going?”

“I’m going to take you to get some food sweetheart.” He says as if it’s obvious.

He parks his car outside an old looking diner. He rushes over to your side to open the door for you, and again wraps an arm around your waist.

“Get ready for the best meal of your life.”

He guides you inside, greeting a few of the workers as he walks over to a small table in the corner and pulls out a chair for you.

“Hello Daniel, and who is this pretty little thing you brought with you?” An older woman asks as she places menus down for you.

Daniel answers her question before you can. “This is Y/n. Y/n, this is Dorothy.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you Miss Y/n, I hope Daniel is treating you well?” She raises her brows at you.

You laugh and nod. “Yes, he’s been very sweet.”

“I’m glad, you know he’s never actually brought a girl here with him before.” She winks at you.

“Dorothy!” He exclaims, his cheeks now tinted a soft pink.

“Alright, alright, I’ll be back in a few to take your order.” She smiles as she leaves.

You smile over at Daniel. “So you don’t bring all the girls you film with here?”

He can’t hide his smile as he shakes his head. “Only the ones I really like.”

You wince but laugh at his answer.

“No, I’m sorry, that was bad.” He laughs with you.

“It was. But it was cute.” You tell him as you look down at your menu.

Daniel grins looking down at his.

You spend your meal laughing with Daniel, well more with Dorothy telling you stories about the Australian sitting across from you, as Daniel tries to get your focus back on him by reaching over the table to interlock your fingers with his.

He pays for your meal once again, claiming that your money was no good here, then walks you back to his car.

The night has brought a cool breeze with it, creating goosebumps across your bare arms. Daniel feels you shiver beside him, and whips off his hoodie. He pulls it down over you before you can protest.

The drive back to your home is filled with silence once again, but this time it’s a comfortable silence. Daniel’s music plays softly in the background, you can occasionally hear him humming softly.

You feel a sense of calm wash over you, being wrapped up in Daniel’s hoodie. His hand rests against your thigh, his thumb brushing soft circles against it.

So, this is what it feels like to be wanted? It feels nice. You think to yourself as you watch the streetlights pass by.

[anyroads]

OK you know what, if we're gonna talk about Bake Off then fuck it, let's do this.

It used to be this wholesome, lovely show! We used to watch it for the bakers! And the learning! And the light banter and occasional bit of coy innuendo! What happened?

Channel 4 happened. When they bought the show they made a number of changes, most of them Not Good™️. Not just in the sense of them resulting in a lot of 😬 and 🫠 moments, but in the sense of how they changed the show's purpose, atmosphere, and brand.

Look, I know most people are just like, "whatever, it's just a baking show," and yeah, sure. But it's one of the UK's most successful TV exports, and where it once shifted the tone of reality competition to being wholesome and supportive of contestants, it's since moved towards creating tension at the contestants' cost. So aside from the fact that most people watching it signed up to watch a nice show, it has also shifted the goalposts of what that even means. And that, lovelies and gentlefolk, is some bullshit.

I decided to break my rant analysis into four main parts: theme weeks, the hosts, the judges, and the bakers. Let's get to it!

Theme Weeks:

If you watch Bake Off, you know the show's always had a specific theme for each week. The staples that come up in most seasons are:

cake

biscuit

bread

pudding/dessert

pastry

patisserie

Less common but consistent are things like caramel and chocolate week.

Then there are the fun episodes! When GBBO was on the BBC, this started out with things tea week, tarts, pies, tray bakes, basically little tangents still focused on emphasizing specific baking skills. In Series 6 (still on the BBC) they had their first nation-focused theme week with French week -- fairly innocuous given that a lot of patisserie is French, France and England share much more culture than either cares to admit [Norman Flag dot gif], and it was a nice change from watching Paul make the bakers do recipes that involved boiling things while talking about how wonderful boiled doughs are (are they, Paul? Are they?).

The show kept mixing it up with innocuous themes like advanced dough and alternative ingredients weeks, European cakes, Victorian week, batter week, and botanical week. And while it was frustrating to watch Paul Hollywood mispronounce things like the Hungarian Dobos Torta and lecture bakers on babka when he clearly knew nothing about it (or about Jewish baking in general, go off Past Me), the show's general attitude was that the judges had their own opinions, which were separate from the immutable facts around the chemistry of baking (more on this later) and shouldn't affect how bakers are judged.

After the show moved to Channel 4, the number of themed weeks increased and more of them focused on specific countries. In 6 seasons on the BBC, there were only two country-focused theme weeks, and in 5 seasons on Channel 4 there have been five. And while they've also had themes like vegan baking, roaring 20s, the 1980s, spice week, etc. the show has really started to go hard on exoticizing other cultures in outright disrespectful and racist ways. There's been Italian and Danish week, German, Japanese (it wasn't, it was East Asian week), and now Mexican week (which doesn't touch on interspersed Jewish bakes that didn't get a theme week, like versions of bagels and babka set as technical challenges that were borderline hate crimes and mansplained by a guy who has no idea how to make either and once wrote in a cookbook that challah was traditionally eaten during Passover). Each time the hosts played up the theme with racist bits and jokes that can be used as evidence in court if your case is "why should shows with scripted content have a professional writing staff."

Which touches on other issues the show has now...

The Hosts:

When GBBO was on the BBC, the show was hosted by ✨Mel Giedroyc✨ and ✨Sue Perkins✨. They encouraged the bakers! They'd hold stuff for them sometimes! They were interested in them! If a baker had a breakdown, they would start singing copyrighted material to render the footage unusable! When the show moved to Channel 4, they left, though I'm not unconvinced that Channel 4 offered them impossible to accept contracts to force them out so they could rebrand the show. They replaced them with Sandy Toksvig and Noel Fielding. Sandy was a lovely host in the vein of Mel and Sue, and she and Noel had a relatively sweet rapport, but she left a few seasons ago and was replaced by Matt Lucas.

Noel Fielding is mostly known for his quirky brand of comedy, a sort of British Zooey Deschanel who's goth from the neck up, an upperclass British gay divorcee from the neck down, and basically an early 60s Beatle re: trousers. Matt Lucas has almost definitely never watched a single episode of GBBO and his most redeeming quality is his thinly veiled contempt for Paul Hollywood.

The two treat the baking tent as their personal playground. Far from the supportive attitude of Mel and Sue, they tend to get in the bakers' way during the most stressful moments, especially when they try to do hilarious "comedy" bits (I can't not put that in quotes) like Noel's talking wooden spoon thing, or Matt talking over Noel to do time calls. During theme weeks like Japanese and Mexican week, they do culture-specific bits that are both racist ("just Juan joke" and "is Mexico a real place?") and unsurprising, given that both Matt and Noel did blackface on their respective sketch shows and absolutely could and should have known better because it was already the current fucking century.

All this to say, there's now a separation between the bakers and the hosts, as if they're on different shows. The hosts are doing their own thing and the bakers are doing GBBO. The show has gotten meaner to the bakers, and the hosts aren't there to support them anymore, they're just there to be comic relief. Because when you refocus your show on stressing the bakers the fuck out, you need a forced laugh I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The Judges:

First of all, a sincere congratulations to Paul Hollywood who managed to squeeze I jUsT cAmE bAcK fRoM mExIcO aNd YeT sTiLL pRoNoUnCe PiCo De GaLLo As 'PiKa De KaLLa' and I aM aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS wHiCh aRe MaDe WiTh DiGeStiVe BiScUiTs AcCoRdiNg tO mE, aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS, just two in a giant pile of astoundingly wrong hot takes, into a short enough time span that they all aired within Liz Truss's term as Prime Minister. A true man of accomplishments.

In the interest of fairness, I need to preface this with a disclaimer that, due to the fact that I've been watching Bake Off for most of its run, I'm biased. Specifically, I can't stand Paul Hollywood's smarmy, classist, egomaniac ass because he's proven time and again he's more interested in looking smart than actually knowing what he's talking about. Since the show moved to Channel 4, they've changed the occasional handshake Paul would give bakers to the HoLlYwOoD hAnDsHaKe™️. It's gone from being an emphasis of someone's skill to a goal, a reward, and one that emphasizes the judges' place above the bakers.

The judges used to function as teachers, imparting their skills and insights to the bakers. When the show was on the BBC, the voiceover leading to a judging would focus on the bakers' work being finished, saying how it will now be evaluated based on their skill and how well they met the brief. The voiceovers now, on Channel 4, focus on the judging (literally saying something along the lines of, "the bakers will now be judged by Prue and Paul"). There is a clear distinction Channel 4's producers have made, to mark that the show is now about whether or not the judges approve, not whether the brief was understood and executed well. On the BBC, it was irrelevant whether the judges liked a particular flavor, as long as the bake was well-made. Now, the bakers are expected to know the judges tastes and cater to them, which is frankly bullshit. A judge doesn't have to like a flavor to know whether or not it was executed well, ie. is it carrying a bake and was it meant to etc.

The judges have been turned into a brand. Cynically, Channel 4 knows that by building them up and focusing the show more on them, they can exploit their image more for profit. In the process, they've become much more biased and their own biases have come out as well. Most recently in the flaming dumpster fire that was Mexican Week, Paul Hollywood tried to intimidate a baker by telling them he had just gotten back from Mexico (which must have been a fruitful learning trip if he couldn't even learn how to pronounce pico de gallo correctly). Where do I even start with this? Here's an amateur baker from England (the show specifically casts middle and lower middle class bakers for the most part??) who likely can't afford trips to Mexico, who lives in a country with incredibly limited access to Mexican cuisine, who is expected not only to understand the cooking and baking traditions of a completely different culture but to do so well enough to play with it and do something creative with it. On top of which, one of the judges is now using his privilege of traveling halfway around the world as some kind of leverage, as if this were a bar that any amateur British baker could clear.

Prue, meanwhile, has openly asserted her biases against cultural flavors and textures, prioritizing her own personal preferences over them, as if they were in any way relevant to the skills and knowledge necessary to execute the tasks she sets to the bakers. She has also been consistently elitist, criticizing bakers for choices they made that were clearly informed by their experiences within income brackets that are too low and foreign for Prue to comprehend. She once had a go at a baker on a Christmas special because his Christmas dinner themed bake didn't have a turkey, even though it was clear from the stories he shared of his own Christmases that his family likely couldn't afford one. "It's not really Christmas dinner without a turkey," Prue said into the camera angrily while sitting on a chair made of live orphans and telling the ghost of Christmas Future to come back when he had another museum gift shop necklace for her to round out her collection.

The show is no longer about which baker has the best skills. It's become about which mortal can appease the gods of Mount Olympus, ie. the judges.

The Bakers:

Remember when the show was about them? Channel 4 doesn't! Because this is a reality competition show, the bakers are chosen both based on their skills, as well as cast-ability. They're cast as characters, distinct from each other, from different areas, age groups, ethnicities. All of them are amateurs. All of them are middle or lower middle class. They've ranged from college students to supermarket cashiers to prison wardens to scientists.

Something I noticed when the show moved to Channel 4 is that the baker who goes home in the first week is always wildly behind the rest in skills. I have no proof of this other than my eyeballs and deductive reasoning skills, but I think that Channel 4 deliberately casts a ringer each season who they think will be an easy send-off in the first week, just to get the audience's feet wet.

Anyway, like I said, this show used to be about the bakers - about them building skills and learning, and having walked into the tent with a self-taught foundation and understanding of the processes and chemical reactions involved in baking. When the show was on the BBC, the end of each round had some (often brief) moments of tension - will they finish in time? Will they get their bakes on the plate before time is up? Did they forget to add sugar to their batter and only remember at the last minute? In the end, they usually managed to finish and we'd all breathe a sigh of relief and think, yeah! You go, Bakers Who I'm Rooting For!

Now, on Channel 4, the end of round drama has been stretched to be so much longer that they've composed extra music for it. The bakers often seem out of their depth, whether because the instructions for the technical challenge are too vague (bake a lemon meringue pie??? As if anyone in the UK under the age of 60 has had one in the last decade???), or because they were expected to bake something that required a more than a basic foundation they weren't told of. Often it seems like they just aren't given enough time, a tactic used by reality competition shows to manipulate contestants into giving the cameras more dramatic content. On top of all this, the hosts get in their way, instead of helping them plate their bakes. As has been pointed out before, when everyone fails the challenge, the real failure lies with whoever set it.

In conclusion:

The show no longer exists to teach the bakers - and the audience - skills or knowledge. It now manipulates contestants for dramatic effect and prioritizes showing conflict over wholesome content. Channel 4 sees the bakers as social media content they can churn out season after season, and don't care about them because in a few months there'll be a new batch to exploit. Meanwhile, the judges are also out of their depth, co-opting recipes from other cultures and butchering them horrendously, while the camera gives them nothing but status as they hold bakers to the expectation that they learn how to make things very much the wrong way. If you saw any of the tweets about Mexican or Japanese week, or read my post on how Paul Hollywood isn't allowed to go near babka ever again, you'll understand.

So what would fix all this? Scrap the current judges and the hosts altogether. Bring back Mel and Sue, and replace the judges with expert bakers who have a love of their craft and want to share it with others. The draw of GBBO used to be its warmth and comfort - if Channel 4 isn't going to start its own version of Master Chef For Bakers, then it needs to stop trying to find a balance of how it can insert that vibe into GBBO. It can't. That's not a thing. Stop trying.

[jarofstyles]

Flower 2

Okay so I really love these babies so I think I'm gonna do 3-5 parts! I'm loving the tension hehe. Let me know your thoughts!

Flower Masterlist

Check out our Patreon for early access and 180+ exclusive writings

WC-4.6k

Warnings- mention of age gap romance, mention of bdsm, mention of bad sexual experiences, loads of sexual tension, low-key sugar daddy h, trust me

Sleep didn’t come too easily for her, but she felt absolutely wired when she woke up. Her coffee only made it worse as she wrapped herself up in the dark wash denim jacket she’d borrowed from Harry when he drove her home a few weeks back. His truck pulled into the driveway and she was grabbing her tote bag and phone, making sure to lock up before turning to face him. 

There was a weird expression on his face- something she couldn’t place. It wasn’t quite angry or mad, but it was a little darker as his eyes ran over her face and then body. He remained quiet until she got down her porch steps. “S’that… my jacket?” He asked lowly. The tone was strange to her as he stepped closer, tugging on the collar of it. 

“Yeah, it’s really cute and I figured I could wear it around today and give it back to you at the end. Is that… is that okay?” She worried her brows. “I can take it off now if you want to wear-“

“No.” He cut her off. “No, it’s totally fine. It just… it looks really good on you, is all.” He mumbled, squeezing her shoulder. “You look beautiful, as always.” His compliment was genuine, feeling his finger tap her nose, making her crinkle it. “Put the shiny stuff on it again? Your fairy sparkle?” 

Y/N laughed out loud at his nickname for her highlight on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. “Mhm. I got a new pink one, think it suits me.” And maybe she’d been a lot more meticulous about her makeup now that she had a feeling this may be a more-than-friends situation. “I really like this look.” It was a tease, considering he wore the same thing off duty. Jeans and some sort of tee shirt with a quirky phrase or obscure musician on them. Today’s was relatively tame with a bee surrounded by some words about honey and health. Cute. “I actually like the tee today. A bit muscle-y.” His arms looked real fucking nice in this one. Of course he would have some considering he worked with his hands and was a pretty physical person but… damn. She allowed herself to admire it, respectfully. 

It wasn’t something she’d caught before but a slight pink brushed his cheeks at her compliment. “Thanks, petal.” He smiled. “I… I got us some coffee, got your favorite. It’s only half an hour away but I figured….”

“You know I love coffee. You’re the best, as usual.” She sighed, leaning into him to have a hug. It wasn’t usual for her to do it first but he reacted quickly, pulling her close as he rubbed her back, content to keep her there forever. He was never the first to pull back from a hug, but Y/N would happily stay like this for hours  if the option was there. He smelled good, was so warm and sturdy and he knew exactly how to play with hair. Unfortunately she did have to pull back, shooting him a shy smile as he took her by the shoulder to the car. 

Of course he opened the door for her, made she she was in properly before jogging to his own side. He ever did the whole hand on the back of the seat while backing out move, which… wow. It never missed. The weirdest turn on, but something about it just elevated a man. 

His car smelled ridiculously good, and judging by the little clips on his air vents, he had just changed them. He had a few lanyards for access to work yards and membership cards to certain stores, but no fun little fuzzy dice, or a air freshener with a kitty on it like she had. There and then, she took a mental note to get him one. Maybe a puppy one, though. His German shepherd was his best friend.

“Are you getting any books?” She asked him after a little time passed. The chatter had been casual so far, easy. The tension she felt since last night wasn’t bad in the car if she continued topic switching and slight gossip. 

“Mm, I dunno. I haven’t done much reading lately. What are you gonna get?” He questioned, sneaking a peek at her as they stopped at a red light. 

“Probably romance. I’ve been most interested in that. I’ve seen some good book recommendations online and the girls sent me some, Gia and I wanted to do a book club thing for one of the books by our favorite author. It’s a bad boy romance but it’s called Reaper.” She figured he’d have no idea what that was, but she watched his brow raise as he gave her a look. 

“Well… you do have a naughty side, don’t you?” He snickered, watching her eyes widen. “Think m’clueless? Just because I don’t read a lot doesn’t mean my ears don’t work. Tony told me his wife was reading that and it’s full of sex. Basically erotica.” He licked his lip, looking her over. 

“Oh- well, yes there’s sex but there’s plot to! Just because a book has sex doesn’t mean it isn’t good!”’she crossed her arms, huffing at him. It was a bit to rile him up a bit considering he was doing it to her and it worked. She watched his mouth open and close before rushing out an explanation. 

“No! No, m’not saying that. It’s not bad at all. It’s empowering, but uh, I was just saying I didn’t expect you to read books like that.” He had to pull away as the light turned green but he looked a little stressed that he offended her. 

“I’m joking, H. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” She snickered, watching his face turn to a bit to a scowl. “What, you thought I’m a nun or something? Just cause I’m not spilling all my stories at the table doesn’t mean I don’t have them.” She knew a lot of the group was very open about their sexual experience which was more than fine with her. Y/N was nosy and loved knowing other people's business, But in her life she didn’t share sex related things. It was private, for her and her partners. She didn’t want to betray their trust either, regardless of the terms they were on. 

“I….” His face was more pink now, hands flexing around the wheel as he cleared his throat. “I just thought maybe you didn’t care as much about it. Which is fine, by the way! It’s cool. I just wasn’t sure you cared too much. You never talk about it when we have our confession nights so I… I was being a bit presumptuous. I’m sorry. It just shocked me a little.” 

It was funny to make him squirm a bit but he didn’t need to feel bad. “It’s fine. Promise. No one really asks anyway, so I don’t offer it up first. I’m usually private about it because some of our friends are loud mouths but you can ask me stuff if you want. Maybe after we get our books you can ask me whatever questions come up.” She knew there would be plenty based on his face alone. 

“Really?” He seemed surprised. “Yeah, sure. I mean, I’m not trying to be weird or anything but you know about the time I called someone by the wrong name and the girl who put her tongue in my ear so….” He shrugged one shoulder. 

“Oh, god.” Her giggle was muffled by her hand. He had shared some of his horror stories and she’d found out he was a bit of a bondage fan and dabbled in kinky stuff but until now that info had been locked away in her brain under padlock and key. Suddenly someone had taken nippers to the lock and it was spilling out again, staining the floor. “Yeah… I suppose that is fair.” Angling her knees towards her, she stirred her coffee with the straw. “I think the worst thing that’s happened to me… hm. Probably the time I went home with a guy after a few dates in college and his place was really gross, but he was even more so. Like…” her nose scrunched. “Took his pants off and there was a smell coming from them. I couldn’t do it.” 

“Oh, fuck.” He hissed, wincing at the thought. That was pretty much a nightmare situation. Harry always smelled good and never seemed to be anything but hygienic so she knew he gave a shit about it but still. No one wanted to think of that. “That’s… unfortunate for both of you. Was he embarrassed? How did you get out of it?” 

“He wasn’t, is the thing. Said ‘girls should like a natural musk’ and I told him that it wasn’t a musk, it was a stench. He wasn’t happy with that so he didn’t refuse when I left. I had to take a long shower after that.” Shuddering in disgust, she hated recalling that. “At first I felt really guilty too, cause that’s such a hard thing… but he ended up being such a dick. It was surprising considering he had been sweet on the dates but apparently men change a lot in the bedroom.” That was an understatement. 

“I can agree with that, but I’d hope it’s a positive change.” He shook his head at the thought. “Like, sweet in the streets and freak in the sheets or whatever the saying is.” 

A laugh peeled from her throat, leaning her head against the headrest with her face turned towards him. “Yeah, close enough. But ideally they would be. I dunno, you don’t have to be crazy to be good in the bedroom but I’d hope for the same level of respect. Some men have no idea how to actually handle women so it’s partly why I stopped dating.” And why she had stayed up looking at his Instagram last night and thinking about how she’d look inserted in his life. Harry seemed like a man who could potentially handle her. 

“I wish I could disagree but I can’t. I’ve heard many horror stories from girls, way more traumatizing than men. It’s why…” he stopped himself. “Sorry, was gonna overshare. But I can only imagine how it is and if it’s any consolation, I’m sorry for all the men.” 

God, he was cute.  But… wait. 

“No no, you can definitely  overshare.” She perked up. “If you want to, anyway. I don’t mind.” Blinking at him, he cut a look at her and let out a laugh as he lifted a hand to run it over his chin, the slight sound of skin scratching stubble audible in the cab of his truck. 

“Well, I was gonna say it’s why I try t’be aware of that when I’m with someone that their comfort is first. If there’s anything they don’t like they can say it, that m’not gonna be mad. I don’t want someone to walk away from something with me and feel uncomfortable.” Seeing him a little shy was really fucking adorable. “I don’t really do hookups anymore. They’re not fulfilling, at least not to me. Lost their appeal a few years ago but, the few relationships I’ve been in the whole goal was to make them feel good. I think there’s a lot of selfishness that’s mainly revolved around men and sex, which I noticed a lot. The fact that a lot of women aren’t getting off at all is fucking ridiculous.” He scoffed, looking truly bothered by it. 

Another point added to his growing list. 

“Yeah, it is. It was rare I could because for me, and I think a good amount of women, there needs to be the foreplay aspect of it. Mentally, I need to be stimulated. Y’know, like teasing or not so clean talking.”

It was her turn to feel a little shy but she powered through. “And men can dive right in. It’s where we differ a lot of the time. I think part of it is biological too, I guess. I tried hooking up for a while but it never did anything for me either. I prefer someone with a connection so it’s easier to get to that point.” Now she was the one oversharing. 

“I understand that. I like those things too. A bit of cat and mouse can be fun…” he pushed his hair back before returning his hands to the wheel, squeezing it. “It’s laziness and selfishness. I’d say for me personally, M’more of a giver. Not saying it to praise myself or anything but it’s just… it’s what I like.” There was a pause. “Sorry if that’s a bit much.”

No, it wasn’t enough. She wanted to know more. Her neglected cunt was more than interested in how he was in bed and if he’d like to be a giver for her, but she had to at least try to behave. 

“It’s not. We’re just being honest, right?” She placed a hand on his knee, giving a daring squeeze and let it linger for a few moments before peeling it away. Again, testing the waters of initiating touch. Once she’d realized last night that she hadn’t shown her own interest much she had vowed to at least try today to see how he'd respond.

In this instance his smile grew and he couldn’t look right at her, but he nodded at what she’d said. “Yeah. I jus’ don’t want to seem like some creep. But uh, what other sort of books do you like? Romance, yeah, but what sort of tropes?” He did know some of those. 

“Oh, I’m pretty adventurous.” A double meaning. “I like the grumpy and sunshine ones, the billionaire romances, mafia is a guilty pleasure. Meet cute is something else I enjoy for a light read. I dunno, I think I mainly go for what the summary calls to me for. I do read some darker stuff but it’s nice to have a little fantasy world to escape to. And the fantasy men know how to find a clit.” Throwing the joke in there was meant to diffuse some of tension but somehow it seemed to make it grow. 

Not in a bad way, per say, but he looked at her curiously. “Don’t tell me that all of them couldn’t….”

“No, no. Some of them did, but majority no. They rub the side and think they’re doing something. But I’ve never faked it, I refuse to give a man an ego boost for something he didn’t do.”

“Good on ya, petal. S’bullshit that they get off and you don’t.” He genuinely seemed bothered by it. “Buncha pricks is what they are.” 

“They are.” She snickered. “But I’ll let you read some of the blurbs for the books I pick out today, you can get a read on what sorta books I like.” It was yet again, another way to experiment. 

“I’m very intrigued to see what you’re into.” 

Y/N hopes that held a double meaning too. 

—-

Harry was hovering a bit. 

Normally that would annoy her. She’d huff and tell him to sit in the cafe, or go look at his own books- but she hoped that it was because he was paying attention to what she picked up. 

Plus, he was holding the basket for her. 

The store was earthy and rustic, exposed wooden beams running along the ceilings. There was a little cafe that served teas and coffees which she definitely planned on getting after her shopping, and from her nosy look over when Harry greeted the owner she had seen a blueberry scone. That would be coming home with her too. 

The shelves were high and they had multiple different sections. It was far bigger than any indie bookstore she had been to in the past , and that lead her to quickly realize quickly she was going to make a monthly trek out here. Maybe Harry would be interested in joining her in them. 

Maybe he’d be interested in doing a lot more with her. 

“I’m almost done.” She promised, plopping a used copy of a vacation town romance into the basket. It had to be a little heavy but Harry didn’t complain. It didn’t even look like the weight bothered him, the basket hanging off his arm. They’d stuck mostly to the used section considering they were far cheaper, but she was ready to go for the new ones now. 

So what if she took a little bit out of her savings for this? She deserved a little treat for once. 

“There’s no rush, Flower.” He assured her, following closely behind her as she moved towards the new books. “I was wondering if….” There was a pause as she looked up at him. It seemed to make his brain buffer for a moment, his eyes looking over her face before he blinked out of the stare. “Uh, it you wanted to have lunch or something after?”

Why was he so cute, and why did he look so nervous? Maybe Y/N wasn’t giving the signals she needed to. That would be her own fault, but it was hard to flirt when she was as serious as she was about her books. 

“On the condition that the iced mocha with a pump of caramel and the blueberry scone I get for the car ride doesn’t count as lunch, yes. I would very much enjoy that.” She chirped, watching the nerves melt off of his face. It was mind boggling that her of all people could cause him to be nervous in the slightest but you learned something new every day. 

“I’ll agree, because that’s more suitable for a dessert.” He drawled. Harry did like to tease her about her sweet tooth which always made her roll her eyes. So what if a girl liked to have a brownie with each meal? Life is nothing but spinning on an orb in space. You may as well enjoy the creature comforts. 

“If that’s your dessert I don’t think you’ve had a true one in a while.” The flirtation was light, testing the waters as she looked over the book covers. His eyes could be felt on the side of her face as he was quiet for a moment before letting out a little laugh. 

“Suppose I haven’t. You’re right. Maybe I’ll need to try yours and see what you mean.”

And oh. Oh. She did everything in her power not to react besides a little smirk, though she could feel the heat radiating off her cheeks. Harry could most defintely try her dessert whenever the fuck he wanted. 

“Should you be so lucky.” Was her slightly snarky reply, but he followed it up quite quickly. 

“One could only hope, Petal.” 

And yeah, maybe she felt her new heartbeat between her thighs as the newly heavier silence settled on them like oil in water, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. The anticipation was in her stomach as he got a bit closer, looking over her shoulder at the book she had picked up and was currently reading the back of. 

“What’s this one?” He asked, so close that she could feel the heat of his body against her back. 

“It’s called The Highest Bidder. It’s about… a girl who goes on an auction block at a BDSM club, he is one of the owners? Well he’s one of the richest. Anyways, I saw someone recommend it saying it has sugar daddy vibes and there’s some juicy stuff in it.” Y/N explained, taking the moment to lean back into him as she held the back cover for him to read. 

If he was surprised he didn’t show it. Instead, his hand came up to rest on her shoulder, pinky finger nearly grazing the side of her neck as he looked over to read. Such a casual touch of affection, but he seemed to like it. “And you’re gonna get this one?” It was a bit weirdly arousing feeling the vibrations of his words through his chest and onto her back. 

“I think so. I haven’t read an age gap for a while. Just hope the sex scenes aren’t shit. It’s hard to tell with books sometimes, even if they’re more kinky oddly enough. I’ve seen books that have the best summaries and seem super steamy have a two pump sex scene- or fade to black. Which, you know, is fine. Not all books need to have that, but what’s the point of making the book seem like it then?” She muttered. Clearly she had been victim to it a time or two.  “Then the authors get mad about low goodreads reviews. It’s like, cmon! Don’t mislead the readers about the book then.” 

It was something the woman did get passionate about when provoked, but Harry had opened that can of worms in the car when he had given his go ahead that he didn’t mind discussing things like this with her. 

“Mm. I see.” He nodded and she swore she could hear the smile in his voice. “Show me the others you want to get.” 

Y/N felt increasingly more comfortable as she went through the next five books, letting him read the back covers and giving him the low-down about what she had heard about them. Each time they moved their position would go back to where it was, with his hand on her shoulder and her back leaned into him, only he had gotten a little braver with running his smallest finger back and forth over the side of her neck. 

It nearly made her choke when she first felt it. She definitely stuttered when he did it, but she didn’t comment on how the little action felt incredibly intimate and soft, yet charged with an unspoken sexual energy that would probably kill her if she thought about it too long. Harry was being casual about it, but he always had been. He’d been the first to initiate most touches with her that Gia said were abnormal. Of course he didn’t start off their friendship by being super grabby and touchy but it had morphed into that, and it definitely did take him by surprise when she had initiated last night and again today. Kind of like she was reinforcing that it was more than okay to touch. 

“Are you sure you’re done?” He asked after placing her final book in the basket. Y/N felt like if she didn’t stop this weird, hot position of him asking questions about the books earnestly and his chaste-yet-sexy touches she may bend over the book table and get inappropriate really fucking fast. 

“Mhm.” She assured him. “Please, I’m gonna have to dip into the rainy day fund to afford all the stuff from today but it’ll be so worth it.” The sun shone through the windows and highlighted his features which, god, had her testing her own willpower. Of course she was far too shy to be super direct with him verbally, but she didn’t hide the fact that she was admiring him. 

Considering she had already been successful in her little experiments today, she saw the lock of hair that had flopped over his forehead and decided to push it back. Letting her fingers card through his hair, she pushed the strands out of his face and back into place. If she hadn’t been looking so intently she wouldn’t have seen the shiver he had from the action. His hair was so soft and obvious that Harry took care of it, and she had never really touched it all that much but the temptation had been too much. “Sorry, it was bothering me so it must have been bothering you.” She said simply, giving him a small smile. “I’m just gonna run to the restroom quickly and then we can check out. Okay?”

“Course.” He cleared his throat, nodding his head as if the question had taken a moment to load in his head. “I’ll be by the cafe then.”

Y/N really hated that bookstores made her have to go in there but it was a right of passage. Taking care of her business took only a few minutes, but when she came out she didn’t see him at first. 

He wouldn’t just leave her, so it took her a second to realize he was leaving the counter, two bags of books hanging off his arms and two coffees in the little tray. A brown paper bag clutched crumbled in the hand he used to balance the drink tray, making her eyes widen.

“Hey! I was gonna pay for our coffees and stuff.” She pouted as he approached. “You’ll have to let me get lunch then.” Her eyes went down to the two tote bags with the store logo on them. “Ooo, that’s so nice that they gave you these to hold them in. Let me just grab my wallet and we can go to the till to-“

“Don’t worry about it.” He cut her off, shrugging a shoulder. There was a pregnant pause, her eyes blinking rapidly before her eyebrows crinkled. 

“What do you mean? I have to pay.”

“They’re paid for.” The reply was simple and matter of fact. Again, words escaped her as she looked between him and the books. 

“Did you-“

“I paid. It’s fine, Flower.”

“Uh, what?” Her eyebrows shot up as her stomach dropped. It did the weird thing that had her feeling a little lightheaded as he stood there, like he didn’t just spend probably close to two hundred on books. “No way I can accept that.”

“If I told you I got a discount for building this place will it help?”

“Harry.” She said quietly. “You…. Why?” 

“Because I’m happy you agreed t’spend the day with me.” The reply was so to the point, not hiding anything at all that it almost felt unreal. Hell, it did feel unreal because who the fuck spent two hundred on books for a friend? Granted, she had a feeling-or a hope- there was a crush in there, but it felt like a huge gesture. 

“You already do so much for me.” She swallowed the lump down her throat. “You help me at my place and you drive me home from get togethers and you buy me drinks when we go out and… I feel like it’s a lot. I surely don’t do as much for you.”

“I’d do even more if you let me.” He stared honestly, nothing but truth on his face. “So jus’ let me do this for you. I want to. It makes me happy.” 

Y/N didn’t know how to argue with that. Instead, she nodded, and reached to take the bag and coffee tray from him since he had the much heavier books. “Thank you. I could cry, probably.” That wasn’t a joke. Her eyes felt like they were stinging. 

“None of that, Petal.” He shook his head. “C’mon. I’ve got plenty of questions and you’ve got answers you promised me on the way here.” Without thinking twice, he grabbed her free hand with his own, tangling their fingers before leading her to the truck. 

Y/N had no idea how so much had changed in 24 hours,

But she had a feeling it was about to change a whole lot more.

[starofthesea7]

König~ Fervently

(Pure filth)

Your eyes are rolled back in your head, tears glistening against darkly flushed cheeks, drool running down your chin, pooling onto a threadbare mattress. A spring is digging into your ribcage but you hardly feel it, as the bed is slammed over and over against grey cement wall. You can barely hear him, his breathy grunts, “Im so sorry leibling, ah- so sorry. Too rough, i know,” König is a fervent mess above you, desperate for release, unable to restrain himself. His face is contorted with pleasure, muscled arms straining as he holds himself above you, still careful not to crush you with his colossal mass, even in his state of inebriation.

Hes embarrassed- repulsed- at the roughness with which he ruts into you, apologies spilling from his lips as he ruins you, splitting you in half- stretching you out, ruining you for any other man. “I’m so sorry, you’re so good for me liebling, i’m hurting you, i’m - ah!- so sorry.” His mouth parts, raspy breaths like music to your ears. He mumbles, a shamble of german and english, how you’re so small, so tight, stretched so wide, stuffed so full. He’s fucking drooling.

“Told you to use me, ‘s okay.” It’s all you can muster right now, head thrown back, body limp. The fat of your hips recoils with each violet thrust. His head drops to the crook of your neck, overstimulation forcing tears from his glassy eyes. It mingles with your sweat, searing skin melding together. He’s edged himself for hours, cock painfully hard as you suck him in, so tight. He’s so thick, larger than life, gummy walls spasming as they attempt to take all of him in, be good for him, it’s all you ever wanted to be. Make him feel good, allow him to use you, not asking him to hold back like he always did. That’s what you’d told him two hours ago. “Do whatever you want to me, don’t hold back.” Did you regret it? No. Usually he would prepare you, stretch you out, agonizingly slowly, a finger at a time, readying you for him. Not tonight. Tonight was about him.

His breaths become airier, more pathetic as his release nears. You are a ragdoll, limbs spread, nails scratching blindly, a hole as he ruts into you, faster, jerkier, more erratic, his colossal frame curling around you. Your whines echo around you. Breasts bounce painfully, and the sound of his wet pelvis slapping against yours is obscene. Your wetness coats his pale lower stomach and rippling thighs. Brawny arms wrap around your body, holding you so fucking tight. “So, -ah, so close- scheiße.” He lets out a pitiful groan as he stuffs himself into you with a final thrust, holding your pelvises flush as his cock lurches, mushroom head notching so deep inside you- it sends you over the edge. He lets out a pitiful groan as your walls stutter around him, “C- cumming.” You shudder, shaking, clawing at his arms. His voice cracks, cock jumping, spurting inside of you, impossibly deep- you feel it in your guts, hot cum filling you up. You fall limp, stuffed, belly full and warm, you sob at the pressure.

He stills, both of you shuddering with after shocks. His breaths are dense and raspy as the adrenaline haze clears from his mind. He softly thrusts into you, a crackled groan at the feeling of fucking his cum back into you as you squirm.

When he pulls out, he stares with glassy eyes, pupils blow wide, breathing heavily at how he oozes from your puffy slit. His face is flushed and sweaty, lips parted in focus. The image makes him lightheaded. He hesitantly brushs you with his finger, making you jolt at the contact. He groans at the lewd squelch as he pushes his cum back inside you with a finger twice the size of your own, cunt clenching, spasming around him, always so willing, so good for him.

His glazed soft eyes trailed up your body, from your abused, leaking hole, to your hips, bruised and covered with indents from blunt fingernails, to your breasts, covered in sweat and flushed from his mindless gropes. Your face is flushed and glowing with sweat and tears, lips puffy and red. He raises his hand to your cheek, his own face heated with shame as he wipes tears from his inflicted pain.

You know you look a mess of drool, mussed hair and cum, broken and battered beneath him, but he looks down at you with pure venerable adoration, as if you are a shining angel sent from God himself.

@simonsslvt

@sweepyy

[thediaryofaurora]

General HCs

Ticci Toby/Tobias Rogers

Sorry this took so long!! I’ve been contemplating writing one shots, but I feel like I should get the head canons out first. If any of you have any ideas for one shots (x readers, char x char, nsfw), my request box is open! I’ll get around to them as soon as possible. :)

- 5’11! Sleeper build and scrawny, but extremely strong upper arms. He’s not as fast as Kate and Brian, but he makes up for it with how long he can run. He never gets tired and can chase victims for hours. Lots of freckles, too!

- White with mostly German heritage. He doesn’t know very much German, just baseline stuff he learned from his mom. (Connie grew up in Germany until she was 15.)

- Medium brown hair and dark brown eyes. He’s pretty pale, but being outside most of the time he does have a slight tan, lots of freckles too.

- His dad was extremely abusive and would beat him, his mom, and his sister, it was rare for him to not be drunk. Toby killed him only a few hours after his father beat his mom to the point she was unconscious. He’d rather his mom lose both of her children and her abusive husband than endure so much pain, he cared about her more than anything. He didn’t want to sit idly by as he loses his sister and mother.

- His fingers are TORN up. Bites and picks at his nails, cuticles, dry knuckles, all of it. His fingertips and palms are also super calloused.

- Hangs out with Jeff and Ben most of the time. He’s closer to Ben and thinks Jeff’s a douche, but he puts up with him since sometimes the three of them have fun.

- He can be a jerk, but if you’re able to break past his shell he’s super sweet. He’s still sarcastic and snarky, but not necessarily mean. VERY smug.

- Had Jeff do a tattoo of Lyra’s birthday on his shoulder. It turned out surprisingly good. He was originally going to do her death date, but he felt like it was better to honor the time she was alive.

- Halloween junkie. He has a massive sweet tooth and loves autumn, so it’s the perfect day ever in his eyes.

- This guy DESTROYS in poker and blackjack. The few times his dad would spend time with him they’d play together. Even though he hated him, it meant a lot to him when he was little. Has the teeny tiniest gambling addiction, makes a bunch of bets with other residents of the mansion and usually wins.

- MIDWESTERN EMO BOY!!!! I will die on this hill. Music taste, clothing, all of it.

- His tics are pretty rare now that he’s older, but when he’s anxious they get bad.

- Exclusively wears comfortable clothes. Not because he gets uncomfortable, he could (and does) sleep in jeans and not be bothered. When he was younger he would always be forced to wear slacks, dress shoes, button ups, and ties for church or family gatherings. He HATED it.

- Him, Tim, and Brian are usually put on missions together. They’re all pretty compatible, and it’s nice to talk to just some regular ass dudes. Sometimes all three of them will go to run down diner’s if they finished their mission early, it’s the most normality any of them have in their lives.

- He and Tim bicker a LOT, but he secretly find comfort in it. He sees Tim as a protective older brother, rather than someone who just hates him. With how his dad treated him growing up, he thought all arguing was yelling and being aggressive, but Tim’s is more disagreement or annoyance.

- Almost knows how to play the acoustic guitar. He’s a quick learner, but he doesn’t have a crazy strong desire to get better at it.

- Pretty much always wears a big bandaid over his cheek gash. He’s not necessarily insecure about it unless he has a crush on someone, but it’s hard to eat or drink when it’s just open.

- He’s actually not to bad at soccer! Sometimes when it’s nice out him and Cody find a ball and play.

- Anywho, I’m in love with him.

Feedback and requests are welcome! Thank you for reading. :)

✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩

[starkwlkr]

Can you make Charles x Reader where she is the daughter of an older driver, maybe Senna or Schumacher?? and decides to move to Monaco and ends up crashing his car in Charles' car in his first week in the city and it’s race week in Monaco, maybe some other driver in the car with Charles?

monaco does that to you | charles leclerc

sorry for the wait but here it is! (finally lol) also do germans say mom or mum? google never gives me an answer 🤨 i’m going to use mom so apologies if that isn’t the correct term to use because i grew up in texas and i always use mom 🫤

Y/n was on the phone with her sister, Gina. She had successfully moved to Monaco and decided to call Gina to tell her she was okay. The Schumacher siblings were always close so it was going to take some time for Y/n to get used to being away from her family.

“It’s so lovely here, Gina. Maybe you and mom can come in time for the Monaco Grand Prix. We could all be together. I know Mick would love that.” Y/n said as she grabbed her keys from the coffee table and exited her apartment. She had a few errands to run before she went to lunch with Mick.

“I’ll check with mom, make sure she’s free for the weekend.” Gina replied. Then she started to talk about some plans she had with a couple friends as Y/n walked to her car. Y/n listened to Gina as she opened her car door and turned her car on.

Y/n was so focused on listening to her sister that she didn’t switch the car from reverse to drive so when she pressed on the gas, the car went backwards hitting a very nice car as a result.

“Shit, shit, shit, fuck, oh my god.” Y/n repeated as she turned the car off and looked back at the damaged car.

“Y/n? What’s happening?” Gina asked through the phone.

“I just made the biggest mistake of my life. Gina, I’ll call you back.” Y/n sighed heavily and ended the call. She put away her phone and got out of her car, ready to face the consequences.

She looked at the car and saw that it was a Ferrari. Why did she have to hit a Ferrari? Suddenly the doors of the Ferrari opened and out came a brown haired man.

Nice, you hit a hot man’s car, Y/n thought to herself.

“Are you okay?” He asked her.

“I just hit your car and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”

He nodded. “Are you?”

“Yeah, but I hit your car. An expensive one.”

“I can get it fixed, don’t worry.”

Oh, so he’s rich

“I’m really sorry. I can help pay for the damage.” Y/n said, but he shook his head. “Then give me your number for like the insurance and stuff. I’ll work it out.”

“How about I pay for the damages and dinner? I think that sounds pretty good. I’ll stick take your number too.” He said with a smirk.

“Is that what you say to all the girls?” Y/n teased.

“Only the ones that crash into my car.” He replied. “If you wanted my attention that bad, you could’ve just walked up to me.” He chuckled at her.

“Sure, whatever. It wasn’t on purpose! I was distracted and I didn’t drive my car here last night, my brother did. I think I was passed out in the back seat or something.” Y/n explained.

“Yeah, Monaco does that to you.”

“I don’t even know your name, I’m Y/n.” She finally introduced herself.

“Charles.Does dinner anytime this week sound good?” Charles asked.

“I’ll have to check. I have this thing with my brother on the weekend, it’s really important.”

“Maybe next week if you’re not busy?”

“Sure, Charles. If I’m not busy.” Y/n smiled.

After exchanging numbers, Charles and Y/n said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways. Y/n had gone back up to her apartment, too embarrassed to even go out now while Charles went back inside his car where Pierre had been waiting for him the whole time.

“What did she say?” Pierre asked.

“We are having dinner soon, that’s what she said.” Charles replied.

“You’re having dinner with Mick’s sister? I can already see the f1 gossip accounts going insane when they see you two! A Schumacher and . . . Charles. Don’t worry, it doesn’t sound too bad.” Pierre laughed.

“Mick’s sister? She was Mick’s sister?” Charles asked. Mick mentioned his two sisters often, but Charles never met them personally.

“Yeah, Mick said she’s moving to Monaco. I think she’s going to be in the paddock this weekend.”

Holy shit, it really is a small world, Charles thought

[xokohaneazusawa]

✮ - Thinking about this video, but with Kaiser instead.

It started with just a simple download of the app (well unless you already had it), chatgpt, after seeing somebody online download it and ask it a bunch of questions and it always responded in a flirty way. I mean what could go wrong? It was a way to not only check if it actually worked and possibly learn some stuff in the process. You decided that since it was around the time you and Kaiser would practice some German (so you could actually understand what he was saying) you would ask questions about that. So you opened up the app and went to the button that let you have a voice chat with it. It started off fine with just you asking about how to say things like “good morning” and “hello” just to make sure that it was actually working. It wasn’t until a couple minutes later and a few questions later it started acting sort of flirty with you, calling you names like “sweetheart” and “baby” and that’s when Kaiser’s attention was finally drawn over to what you were doing. He had been sitting in your shared bedroom at his desk, watching over one of the previous matches but once he heard a male voice coming over from where he knew you were at, and calling you names like those he went out to investigate. He stood in the doorway for a second looking over at you, slightly laughing as you asked your phone another question about how to say “I slay” in german. All to which it responded with the german translation and a “sweetheart” at the end. With a roll of Kaiser’s eyes he walked over and grabbed your phone from you, walking away with it. “I don’t know what that was, but no more.” He placed it up on a high counter, as you followed behind him jumping to get it back. “I was just trying to learn German!” “You don’t need whatever that was, you have me. I’ll teach you.” He said, leaning back onto one of the counters, crossing his arms as he watched you jump and try to climb in the counter in an attempt to get your phone back. “But you were busy.” “And now I’m not. So I’ll teach you.” He walked over and grabbed your waist from where you were slightly standing on your knees to reach and grab your phone, with a quick motion he lifted you up and pulled you off the counter, placing you back down on the floor. He took your hand and pulled you over to the couch with him, sitting you down on his lap before placing his head on your shoulder. “First Lesson, Du brauchst dein Telefon nicht. Du brauchst nur mich.” You could only give him a confused look, you assumed he had something about your phone just based on the way he said “Telefon” but the rest you had no idea. “Sure?” You responded, not really knowing what else to say, to which he smiled and kissed your cheek. "Wunderbar, Second Lesson~"

Mind you the second sentence I asked my friend with help for since I had no idea, so just roll with me here. Also Warning: All Google translated German, so if there is any mistakes please let me know!! Sie brauchen Ihr Telefon nicht. Du brauchst nur mich. - You don't need your phone. You just need me. Wunderbar - Wonderful

[heartysworld]

The Red Race Suit || Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Request: Let's say Mick actually managed to stay in F1 and is actually winning GPs (in a perfect universe) and this time he got P1 and Seb is P2 and during the press conference after the race a reporter asks Seb how he feels about someone else "stealing" P1 from him and instead of talking about that Seb says how he's proud of Mick for achieving such success and stuff like that! I'll leave the rest to you!

A/N: To whoever requested this, I hope your pillow is cold on both sides as that's the cutest thing I've ever written! The feelings were all over the place! I hope you enjoy this one and if you guys have any more requests feel free to send them in💝

You watched from the Ferrari garage as the post race conference was about to begin, your husband being there as well as he got P2 at his home race. On your lap sat your 3 year old son who excitedly bounced his arms as his big blue eyes registered his father's Ferrari red race suit.

"Dada!"

"Yes, my little love that's daddy there on the big screen." You said as you kissed his chubby rosy cheeks while the little boy in your arms let out an excited squeal.

"Following a spectacular FIA Formula 1 German Grand Prix we are joined by Max Verstappen in third place , Sebastian Vettel in second and our winner Mick Schumacher. Good job Mick, another spectacular race added to the long list of wins. How does it feel to get P1 once again, following your father's footsteps?" One of the many interviewers behind the camera asked.

"Yes, thank you. Of course it's very rewarding to see all of you hard work pay off. This was a hard race, the weather conditions were quite concerning at some point. To be able to go through with the whole race and get P1 is always an amazing feeling. I can only hope my family is proud and watching, I know my sister is somewhere here today." Mick said, a small smile gracing his lips as he thought about his big sister witnessing yet another of his wins.

"And Sebastian, what's the feeling of losing grasp of P1 during the last two laps? Surely that's something to talk about. Nobody expected such turn of events during the last few minutes of your home race!" The next question was addressed to Seb. Your husband smiled before answering.

" If it was any other situation I wouldn't be the happiest man out there. However, I couldn't be more proud of Mick here, seeing him achieve something he's worked so hard for. He's the godfather of my son, he's family at this point, probably the only one whom I don't mind being P1 instead of me." Sebastian asked, his answer making everyone in the room laugh.

There is not a person out there who's not aware of the bond between the two. Seb was to Mick was his father was for the once young an energetic Toro Rosso rookie in 2007.

When you found out you were pregnant with your first child three years ago, one of the first things your husband asked of you was to allow him to make Mick the godfather of your baby. Even though the Schumacher boy was just seventeen years old back then you didn't need to be asked twice if you agreed with your husband. You loved both Seb and Mick,and seeing them happy could only make your life better.

Your husband wasted no time finding you after all the interviews were over. By that time you and your son had moved to his motorhome as the little one had started to get cranky, demanding his naptime. The moment Seb saw his son's squished cheeks against the soft pillows a bright smile graced his face.

"Hey there, champion" you stood up from your spot on the bed beside your son, wasting no time in finding the comfort of your husband's embrace, nuzzling your face in his chest. "you need a shower, schatz, as soon as possible." You murmured against his chest. Your words were followed by a low laugh from your husband, careful not to wake up the sleeping toddler.

"Let me enjoy this moment a few more seconds, liebling. I don't get to have my wife and son at a race every other week." Sebastian said before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Hmm, that is correct. Our little man was so excited to see his papa in the red racing suit. The moment he recognized you he got so excited. I wouldn't change this for world of me." You said as your mind went back to an hour ago.

"Neither could I, liebling. Having you here makes me even more agitated to win." You husband answered, one of his hands coming up to your face and making you look up at him before kissing your lips softly.

" The second place today says otherwise." You laugh as you watch his eyes crinkle as he laughs at your sarcasm while his hands come to press you even tighter to his body.

" Don't be mean, my love. As long as it's Mick or our son in 1st place one day I don't mind." Seb said smiling at the thought of his son following his footsteps one day.

"You're going to make go through the same stress levels with our son as the ones I'm dealing with right now as I watch you race? How thoughtful of you, Seb." You exclaimed whole your husband laughed at you.

"Don't worry, liebling. I'm going to give you more children who will take your mind off such things." You husband leaned closed, mumbling against your lips as he smiled before giving you a deeper kiss.

"Hmm, I'll have to think about this. Win me another world champion title and we might get to work on your request."

"You know better than to test what I'm capable of, darling. When I want something I achieve it. And when I do, I don't apologize for winning. So he careful what you wish for."

Reblogs and likes are deeply appreciated! 💝

[blue-devil-of-the-lord]

What kind of desert do you think Kurt would like? Is there any German deserts in particular he would like?

This is an interesting questions, thank you. So...

We don't really know a lot of what he likes in canon, however I seem to remember to have read that he is fond of chocolate and biscuits, which means I'm going from there.

I'd like to think, that Kurt is something we call a "Naschkatze" where I'm from. Don't know if it's used in other parts as well, but it's quite common from where I'm from. It's basically someone who loves to nibble on sweets as often as they can. Literally translate to "snacking cat" or "nibbeling cat"

He's got a sweet tooth, you could say. So, going from there:

He loves pastry. Doesn't matter if it's cake or cookies or cupakes, he loves it. If it got chocolate? He's in heaven. So, it's good that he's from Germany because we've got some really good cakes, if I may say so:

Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte: This is one of the most stereotypical cakes that you can find when looking up "German Cakes" but it's really good. It traditionally consists of several layers of chocolate sponge cake, cherries, cherry liqueur, whipped cream and chocolate rasps. It named after the "Schwarzwald" which is a region in Baden-Wüttenberg, the "neighbour" of Bavaria. It's really tasty and I'd like to think that he would love that.

Baumkuchen: Literellay means "tree cake", originating from it's looks. It consists of several layers of dough when baking it, making it look like the age rings of a tree. It's art to explain, but it's really good, one of my favourites actually.

Kalter Hund: Literally "Cold dog", also referred to as "Kalte Schnauze" or "Kalter Platt". I think this would be one of his all-time favourites because it not only consists of chocolate but also of biscuits. It is made from layers of chocolate cookies and a cream of chocolate and coconut oil. There are different variations of it, which can differ in the ingredients used. It's a little harder to make, at least in my experience, but it's really worth it.

Pudding: Kurt is in love with this stuff, especially chocolate, however only when it's hommade. The incredibly overly sweet stuff from the stores does not taste good in his opinion, so he refuses to eat it. He may have a sweet tooth but not that sweet.

Spekulatius: Another typical german sweet, that's an alltime favourite among Germans. It's usually just sold during Christmas time, due to the different spices that are used for it.

Mousse au Chocolat: Of course he's not restricted to German desserts only. It's a french dessert and since France is a neighbour of Germany it's not that far-feched that he loved it growing up. It's fluffy, it's chocolate... What more could he ask for?

Grießbrei mit Roter Grütze: "Semolina porridge with red fruit jelly" It's not really a dessert but it's quite famous and I personally know many many Germans who love it, me included.

Germknödel mit Vanillesoße: Germknödel are a traditional specialty of Austrian and Bavarian cuisine and are also popular in other regions of the Alpine countries. They are steamed yeast dumplings filled with a plum jam filling (Zwetschgenröster). Although the classic version is filled with plum jam, there are also variations of yeast dumplings with other fillings such as poppy seeds, apricots or curd cheese. Personally, I have always loved the fruit filling. Top it with vanilla sauce and poppy seed sugar and it's perfect.

Pictures in order

It's a bit much, but there are so many good desserts. In general I think he loves anything with chocolate in it, as long as it's real chocolate and not some fake stuff from the industries. He prefers usually darker chocolate but especially in cake she doesn't mind so much. He also likes a bit more heavy desserts such as Germknödel or Grießbrei, especially since he's from Bavaria where such desserts are more common, from my experience. You are welcome to correct me though.

Hope this was helpful :)

[yournightmary]

Loser!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU

AN:: first time writing, literally scared shitless🔥 english isn’t my native language🙏

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who made a pasta recipe once (probably from instagram reels), and became a self-appointed master chef. Forgot about the fact that it took her 3 tries to even cook the pasta.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who can’t stop saying flavor instead of scent. She just genuinely doesn’t see the difference.

“What flavor do you want?” she asks you while holding up two colorful packs of wax melts. She bought a wax burner and used it to melt chocolate so she can have chocolate covered fruit anytime she wants. Used it 2 times total.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who vapes. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. She just loves to puff on her cute little mixed berries disposable. Also, keeps saying she can quit anytime she wants, she can’t.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who uses axe body spray. If someone asks about it she just says it works better, but she actually likes the scent. Kind of her guilty pleasure.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who hated on the sims franchise her whole life only to find out you’re a fan. She pirated the whole series (DLCs and all) off of some russian website in one night. Got like 20 different viruses but at least her girl could play the sims 2 happily.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is terrible at foreign languages yet has a duolingo streak that over 500 days. She knows how to say ‘the apple is red’ in german and can barely pronounce her order in mexican restaurants.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is chronically online. Constantly posting shit to her insta stories, sending you tik toks 24/7 and all that stuff. One time she got so invested in a facebook group drama that she didn’t reply to your texts for the whole day.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who wears the most unfunny-funny shirts you can imagine. Stuff like ‘women want me, fish fear me’ and ‘eat, sleep, game, repeat’. And they’re always either way too big or way too small.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who always said she doesn’t want any pets, that it’s too much of a commitment for her… Then she found the ugliest kitten she’s ever seen on the street and took it home without thinking. Let you choose the name but calls him ‘stinky’ no matter what. Like mother, like daughter.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who couldn’t tie her shoes until she was 15. That’s it.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is so lovestruck for you that I can’t even explain it. She’ll always do the cheesiest things possible, like standing before your house with roses, a bluetooth speaker and a promposal poster or bringing you every little thing she found on her walk that ‘reminded her of you’.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who doesn’t like to go out on dates. She’d rather stay at home with you, watch a movie, make dinner together (you’ll be the only one actually cooking), maybe paint something or just spend time together doing nothing… Would really enjoy a date at the planetarium though.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is a total yapper. Can and will talk about anything and everything for hours on end. And if you mention an interest of hers? Oh god, get ready to see a powerpoint presentation about it. Literally the definition of ‘☝️🤓’ but in a good way.

I’m so scared to post this it’s not even funny☠️ Hope you liked it <3

[itsmeelenoryayy]

Cannon stuff (pluss a few headcannons) about our favourite boy "Ticci" Toby

Authors note: just i honesly don't know why am making this am just really interested in him and his story he was one if my childhood favorites other then jeff

Cannon:

I feel like a lot of people know this allready but hes originally german they creator of him never acually said if his parents or grandparents are german but he was born in Colorado so am guessing his parents moved to america

Hes not as tall as people make him out to be when he was 19 he was only 5'6 (haha am taller then him)

He haves very pale alnost grayish skin and his hand is bandaged up a lot when hes not wearing his gloves because he bites the flesh on his hands he also haves a emo fringe if yk what am talking about

Please give my boy back his sick haircut

Its cannon that he dosent remember his past unless hes like having an episode then he remembers small things

His personality was described as mostly up beat with bad mood swings very sarcastic and can be frendly to some people a natural born troublemaker and delusonal

He was originally supose to be a cannibal but the creator didn't liked the idea because he thought that it would be way too similar to eyeless jacks story

I personaly see a lot of people argue about tobys sexuality and i even saw some people make headcannons that he had raped people but i don't like that shit pluss the creator allready answered questions about toby sexuality (am just gonna show you the picture am too lazy)

But at that time asexual was used as like an umbrella term and only in 2023 did people acually started seperating things like aromantic asexual or even demiromantic so that could mean a lot of things

Around 2021 or something the creator said that he and the creator of clockwork don't like the ship anymore and are very embarrassed about it (he posted it on Instagram) so i guess ticciwork isint really a cannon thing anymore and they broke up wich is honesly good but i will make a seperate post about that

I could also make a seperate post explaining his backstory if yall want that

The creator said that the gash on his cheek was because of the fire but him eating away his own cheek because he can't do it to his hands because of the gloves is also a good idea

His creator said that toby was insiprated by marble hornets

Headcannons:

I see a lot of people say that he has insomnia but i don't know i don't really see him as one i feel like if he feels safe he can sleep anywhere anytime wich with you is almost always but hes a pretty light sleeper

If you share a bed with him will kick the shit out of you in his sleep

His hands are very cold but the rest of his body is very warm idk how that works don't ask me

Always drumming or tapping on something and god forbid you have anything on thats soft or haves a good texture because he will be touching that all the time

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I found a probably illegal fighting range posting as a gym near my house and so, picture THIS

Engel just wanted to get a good workout near the place she lives. Not knowing German, she just googled first thing that popped near her on the map, and decided to get a first workout just so think if this place works for her.

Konig, getting his steam off in barely legal fighting range and very nasty, testosterone-filled gym while he is out of deployments. Engel in her dumb little workout clothes, with her silly water bottle, probably pink or baby blue or lavender, stands in front of the administrator desk because she was told it was a gym(((

Konig who uses her as a workout now!! Not even in a nasty way, just making her sit on him and so on, for the added weight. Bench presses with her on his back((( makes her cheer for his fight and acts like nasty personal trainer

My fellow yandere pookie!! I love this ask! 💋

I bet König would love to parade his sweet angel around some nasty, testosterone-filled gym/ fighting range :( Loves to show her off and also wants to murder anyone who dares to look at her! She’s too cute when she’s sweating and panting like that, don't you dare check her out when she's exerting herself in those dumb, tight sports clothes or else you'll get yourself a new asshole....

At least 90 % of the “customers” are men seeking a brawl so Engel stands out like a sore thumb, taking hungry gulps from her pink water bottle which is the only spot of colour in the bleak brutal gym. A kind, sweet girl just trying to have a nice lil workout, and they can’t turn her away because they have to pose as a real gym… (lol I’m not surprised Engel somehow managed to get herself into a situation like this AGAIN)

And König is so proud of her! Trying to attempt a squat PR with weights he uses for a quick warmup, it's too adorable. He cheers her on when she’s trying to do her very first chin up – he has to help her up because the bar is positioned too high.

These two are simply disgusting because Engel will flirt through the mirror as revenge for König being low key nasty, always putting his hands around her middle, trying to remind her to keep her core tight or some silly stuff like that. Climbs on his lap when he’s trying to bench press, they get a warning because they’re distracting the other “customers” and look it’s also potentially dangerous. König knows it but he’s got his pump on and it makes him a little soft in the head, besides Engel trying to help him in her own way only makes him lift more because of course he has to show off to her and to the other men. He’s the strongest male around here and he’s having fun with his darling angel, everyone else can fuck off with their warnings and rules.

And NOO not König kicking everyone’s butt at the range while Engel watches him with wide eyes 🥺 He’s being so violent again, she doesn’t know if she’s grossed out or aroused :// It might be a little sick but they both get turned on by this, König “letting out steam” and Engel being his “innocent” little cheerleader. They go home and take a shower together, Engel cleans his wounds too, whispering confessions on how scared she was – when in reality she knew all along that König would destroy those guys, like is this the same girl who screamed from joy when he bashed someone's face in lol – and König being more than happy to have a worried but sparkly eyed angel, fussing about his health after he just gave some poor guy a free nose job.

[milkywayhou]

"One step backward. Two steps forward"

Summary: “호랑이🐱: Congrats to the happy couple! @Hans839 I’m sure you’ll take good care of our Snow.”

Or

Snow make one silly post and it accidentally blew up.

TWs: Nothing. Just some weird stuff.

Words Count: 900+ words (Not really much)

It was meant as a harmless joke – Snow never dreamed it would cause such a stir. It all started when she took a rare week off to help a friend with their photography project. Trying on various elegant gowns was good wholesome fun – at least until she impulsively snapped a selfie in her favorite flowing white gown with some vague caption about “Feeling nervous for the big day”

Her post were blowing up with congratulatory messages, assuming the gown meant something more significant. Snow laughed it off, replying with bubbles and clown emojis.

Suddenly she noticed a new tag in one of the comments from a certain Korean operator, Horangi.

“호랑이🐱: Congrats to the happy couple! @Hans839 I’m sure you’ll take good care of our Snow.”

Squinting in confusion, she clicked to see who this “Hans” person was that he had tagged – only to realize that the account was set private.

Then Snow nearly dropped her phone in horror when Horangi’s congrats and mysterious tag unleashed a torrent of notifications – their colleagues from KorTac flooding her post, assuming the worst.

Her blood ran cold.

Even some higher-ups Snow barely knew chimed in with off-color jokes. Great, now she’d given the crotchety old Admirals yet another reason to gossip about her love life.

Holy shit, was this some practical joke? Snow wracked her brain trying to connect the dots as more congratulatory messages poured in.

All at once, things clicked into place. Hans must be a high rank man on their base. And knowing Horangi’s mischievous streak, he had purposefully tagged the him just to stir up trouble. Judge by his name this Hans dude was probably a German person, and she was aware of the fact their Colonel is a German.

Fuck

It was König.

As in, her commanding colonel at KorTac, König. The scary, stoic commander she’d only ever patched up in medbay. Faceless weirdo who’d never said more than four words to her but ALWAYS stared so intensely she swore he hated her guts. Snow had no idea he even had social media, much less that his profile was connected to his real name! What was Horangi thinking?

There was only one thing to do – delete the evidence and face the heat wave of embarrassment back at base. But when Snow pulled up the post, she froze again when she noticed more senior commanders had already congratulated her! Deleting it meant the possibility of loosing her face on her workplace!

That day, Snow was mortified hurrying back to base, ready to hide in the weapon lockers for a year and came back later like nothing happens, praying and hoping everyone will forget about her silly post that created these misunderstanding if she suddenly show up one day with a big smile and say “Oh, no, That post is just a joke hahah. And no, I don’t marry the colonel. It was Horangi’s idea haha..” Oh how she wish it was easier like that. Pretty sure it wouldn’t end too well.

“Soooo, when’s the big day? I call being best man.” Snow’s panic must have showed, because Horangi chose that moment to saunter over with a shit-eating grin.

“Horangi I swear to God, you and I are gonna have words-“

“Oh, by the way Colonel König wants to see you, Snow. Good luck…” And with that he leaves doing only God knows what while humming something that sound similar with ‘Here Comes The Bride’, leaving Snow shuddered to imagine König’s reaction, quietly seething behind his closed office door no doubt.

She was so screwed.

How could she face him now without dying of mortification?

Steeling her nerves, Snow marched over and gave a tentative knock. At his gruff “Enter,” she slipped inside, bracing for the inevitable eruption. Instead she found König leaning back casually in his chair, staring at her with an amused glint that somehow wasn’t comforting at all.

“So Schatz , care to explain this intriguing post I saw over your break?”

Snow spluttered helplessly, launching into a garbled excuse about costumes and photoshoot as König watched with growing amusement. Finally he cut her off, standing to slowly circle her desk until she was caged between his arms.

“I see. Well since we’re apparently already engaged…” His predatory tone sent a shiver down her spine. “…We may as well have some fun with it, ja?” That’s when Snow knew she was absolutely fucked when she felt the cold feeling of metal on her ring finger. She sighed before replied back, fighting a smile of her own while mentally plotting Horangi’s demise.

“Of course, Sir”

=====

At the base, König went about his duties as usual. But come evening when things quieted, old habit drew him to Snow’s profile like a moth to flame when she was away from him. What he found made his breath catch.

There she was, his beautiful Schatz, beaming radiantly in white satin. Before reason could intervene, König double tapped to like the photo, mouth curving up at the image he hoped to see for real someday.

Unfortunately one certain meddlesome comrade had been watching too, ready to seize any opportunity. Not long after, a notification popped up on König’s phone – Horangi had tagged him in a comment on Snow’s post, congratulating them both excitedly.

On the one hand, he knew Snow too well, It was undoubtedly just an innocent tease on her part. But on the other hand, the thought of another man putting that gown on her, claiming HER as their wife... Makes König saw red. At that moment strange knot formed in his stomach as he studied the photo more closely than proper.

And then, an idea took hold that he might be able to use this amusing misunderstanding to his advantage…

=======

Phewww. I just done write this one a few weeks ago. Don't worry, I'll continue the other fic later but don't know when, since my right ear is getting worse and I might go seek medical treatment.

Also Love, Reblogged and Comment will be really appreciated!

[anadiasmount]

is this real? - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: breakup, attempt of a makeup. but you're not here to play around, wanting security, but it doesn't help when jude can't find out what he really wants. is your love really worth the shot?

wc: 2.7 k | masterlist | jude's masterlist

psa 🗣️: hi! i'm back this is kinda angsty and kinda meh :( i still hope you enjoy and like tho! also I will be starting a small jude series in the upcoming weeks, which I'm super excited about! in the mean time here is this :)

“Hi, buddy. Hi! How’s my big baby?” you say in a gentle voice to the German shepherd who couldn't stop licking your face in excitement, his tail wagging and almost crying. It was a month since you had seen Duke, and it was safe to say he missed you as well. He was a birthday gift from Jude about a year ago, since you had asked for one, and Jude wanted a guard dog when he wasn't home. 

You remember the day vividly since it was during the summer, a few weeks before his season ended, and you had the opportunity to travel with Duke around the holidays you took. Duke was a momma's boy, he wouldn’t ever leave your side no matter what. If Jude was here he would acknowledge him but he refused to leave your side. Duke was the biggest and softest sweetheart, he was so friendly and always so happy, so you wondered how he was after you and Jude split. 

Duke came into your embrace and let you hold him for a good five minutes before you got up and made sure he had his breakfast. You practised a few tricks and rewarded him with treats after. He continued to follow you around as you picked up your suitcases and took them upstairs. He tilted his head to the side confused before he whined and touched your leg, “I'm not going anywhere buddy, at least not yet,” you leaned down and kissed his head. He ran up the stairs and watched as you ragged up the three suitcases. 

Duke layed on the carpet as you went into the closet and began to retrieve your jeans and leggings from the drawer, along with your other skirts and shorts you had. Those all barely fit into one suitcase, having to lay on top of it in order to close it. One task was done but you still had to retrieve the other parts of your stuff. You wanted to make sure no trace of you was left behind. Wanting to leave a blank new canvas for Jude’s life. 

After putting that suitcase in your car, you walked back upstairs and started to take your shirts from the hangers. You never realised just how much clothes you had. Any of the shirts or dresses Jude had gifted you, you set them aside in a different pile in a box labelled “do whatever you want” for Jude to decide. You were being petty but you didn't care, you didn't want anything to do with him anymore, all the jewellery and stuff he gave you went into that box, including that damn promise ring…

“Y/n we need to talk…” Jude sighed, he shifted towards you as you sat on the park bench overlooking the small lake. “What's up? Is everything okay?” you ask, your full attention towards him. Jude covered his face, his breathing becoming uneasy as well as his heart. He wanted to avoid it but when you saw his state, the goosebumps appearing, you knew what he was about to do… it was a sign and you felt it.

“I-I-I wanna break up,” he stuttered, avoiding how you stared shocked with wide eyes at him. You let out a small gasp as tears brimmed your eyes, “But why? Have I done something?” you say shaky. You had the urge to reach over and comfort him, wipe his tears away, and reassure him you were here for him, but now you could just stare at him. Stare at his bloodshot eyes, his eyes completely dark and uneasy. 

“You haven't done a single thing, baby, I have to do this… I'm moving away and I just can’t do long distance, knowing that I'm holding you back. I also want to focus on myself and my career, I can’t let this move go to waste, it's a dream and an opportunity…”

Your gaze averted to the white swans in front of you, watching as they cuddled into each other, and swam away. You said nothing, having difficulty processing his words. It seemed like he made up his mind, and you always said you wouldn't hold him back… but now all you wanted to do was fight for your relationship. Fight for him. “Say something…” Jude said, watching intently as your bottom lip trembled. 

You sniffled and wiped your nose and tears away as you stood up. “What’s there to say… you’ve made up your mind. I’ll just go along with it” You smiled and shrugged upset, turning around and beginning to walk away from him. You heard as Jude shuffled around, and jogged towards you. “Wait wait wait, what do you mean? You have to say something, Y/n!”

“No, I don’t. All I can say is I hope it goes well with you Jude, that you have the best season ever in Madrid… And no, you would’ve not held me back… I know what I want, but now it looks like you're not a part of it,” you avoided his pleading eyes. Your gaze returned back to the white swans who now drifted away from each other. “Don't do this Y/n…” Jude begged, grabbing your chin gently, facing you to him where he had tears running down his face.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is, Jude. I’ll miss you but I won’t beg for you to stay, hold you back like you say. I’ll respect your decision…” Jude just stared at the girl who he loves to walk away. Jude cursed at himself, jogging to you because he made a mistake, a regret. But it was too late because you quickly disappeared. 

The first few days were rough, you avoided any light or noise, just staring out at the wall in front of you. But you grew angry at yourself and the world. Jude had left you, and everything inside you felt broken. You couldn't shake away the tears anytime you saw him pop into your head. Jude was a constant reminder he would always be there. 

For Jude it was worse, he showed up to training late, spoke only to his brother and mom who grew concerned, and even lost his spot in the starting eleven for their last game. Jude was devastated and without you there, he couldn't piece his life together. Jude wouldn't sleep, especially now that your sweet scent was gone from his pillow and sheets. If someone had asked Jude if this was where he would have been a year ago he would have laughed at their face.  

Jude had come back from a last meeting with his club, he was exhausted and only wanted to sleep. But he was taken back when he saw the house spotless, and it was strange that Duke didn't greet him at the door. But he smelled that sweet scent again, lingering all over the living room and kitchen, were you here?

Jude tried and tried to contact you, asking how you were or what you were doing, but there wasn't any sign of you. He would just watch your stories when you'd post but it looked like you were always with someone… He was beginning to grow frustrated, why couldn't you respond back to him? 

Jude walked up the stairs, seeing the bedroom door you once shared open. He looked around the room and saw different clothes piled everywhere. “No no, this can’t be happening..” Jude said out loud causing you to get startled. You avoided his gaze and whispered a small ‘shit, fuck’. You weren’t expecting him to come so soon home, or was it that you were here for more than you intended to be? Jude’s eyes directed to you, who was standing there looking effortlessly elegant and beautiful, his Y/n…

“I've set all the clothes and stuff you’ve given me in this box… you can do what you please with them, I don’t want it…” you say in a soft tone, cutting the silence from the room. Jude shook his head, still trying to process everything, “This can't be real… There is no way this is happening right now… This is just a dream right.” Jude paced back and forth, a hand on his forehead as he nervously chuckled.

Why was it so difficult to process what you were doing? Why was the image of you packing causing an ache in his chest? Why did it feel like you were packing away every memory and throwing it away? You were packing your stuff away and Jude knew it would be the last time he saw or heard of you. “Jude… Calm down…” you say, just watching as he sits on the bed in denial. “This day was bound to come… We have to move on, you know?” 

“It’ll be okay Jude-”

“No, it won’t. I can’t move on knowing that I still love you and the fact you're here packing everything away is hurting me, Y/n…” Jude stressed, just wanting to feel your comfort, your hands relaxing his tense body and whispering that you would stay. “Jude you broke up with me. I'm giving you space to figure yourself out but you can’t hold onto hope one day things will change. This is what you wanted, no?” you said, testing the waters. 

Jude went silent, unsure of what to say. He wanted to blurt out to stay, to not leave, that he loves you, but he had trouble doing so. Duke stood and came to your side, going between your legs and sitting, he was protecting you, Duke sensed you were feeling sad and recognized you felt like crying. “No, this wasn't what I wanted… I thought if I did what I did, it would benefit both of us but for me, it isn't… Fuck I can’t even drink my coffee without thinking of you there!”

Jude stood up, his height intimidated you as he towered over you, and you became shy and nervous. “I can’t sleep knowing the pain I caused for both of us or the fact your scent isn't in my sheets anymore… I can’t go and pass by the park we visit because it reminds me of you. I can’t help the fact I lost my best friend and girlfriend at the same time because I thought I was doing the right thing in protecting our hearts… Or it's the fact I refuse to let you go because I love you still.”

“Protect us from what exactly? Jude, I thought we were doing fine! We discussed how our relationship would work once you moved to Madrid. I have a year left of uni, graduating early so I can start my career early because that has always been my plan. You wouldn't hold me back from anything, I knew what I was getting myself into when I started dating you… If you had these doubts we could've talked it out, maybe save ourselves from all this!”

“I was scared you would lose interest and get tired of all the back and forth. Scared you would get unhappy knowing that the long distance would affect us both. I wouldn't know how you felt, and you drifting away, us growing apart, I didn't want that,” Jude insists, his hand connecting with your jaw and running his thumb along your cheek. You leaned into his touch, relishing the feeling, and fluttered your eyes closed, a sense of safety and home. 

“In a relationship, there’s stuff we need to sacrifice to make it work, and I was willing to do that because I love you. I want to see you succeed Jude, after all these years, the hard work, and dedication, you deserve this. Which is why I think it's best if we leave things as it is… We’re so used to and wrapped around each other we-”

“No no no, please-”

“You don't know what you want Jude! You pick and decide and live life as it goes! And I can't put myself through that because look at you now, you first claiming you couldn't do long distance and now saying we could work it out. What if two months in you realise it wasn't what you wanted? Are you becoming unhappy and breaking up once again? I refuse to be put through that, be treated like a test or lab rat just for your self-satisfaction. I also deserve to be happy,” you state, frustrated wiping your tears away and stepping back from him. 

Jude knew you were right, he hated it because it meant that now his biggest nightmare was becoming true. You were done, you were just done, you’d be willing to move on. Jude knew you for who you were, a girl who would listen and observe and not comment, but when you talked you spoke to let the message be clear and heard. So hearing this from you was quite humbling. He didn't know what he wanted, he was confused. 

“You’ll meet new people in Spain, this is just the beginning of something exciting and yet scary. Try it out Jude enjoy it, because this depends on how your future will be, around the people you're surrounded with… You never know, you may just find yourself where you should be… And I will always be here for you like I have, but right now it's better if we just focus on ourselves…” you say frowning, your palms sliding against each other to soothe your nerves. 

Jude just let out a breath and cried, his shoulders shaking and lips trembling which caused you to tear up knowing what you said was hurting him. But in all honestly it was the truth, “Come here,” you said, Jude didn't hold back and wrapped his arms around you, his head hiding in the crook of your neck as he let himself be completely vulnerable, holding you tight so he could relish the moment forever. Duke whined and laid his head on your legs, confused. 

Four months later here you were in England, mostly busy at Uni and an internship you managed to get after getting a referral. Duke and you enjoy walks in the morning and sometimes evening, going to dog parks to clear your head. You hate to say it but the breakup had taken a huge toll on you, you refused to admit it though. It was hard to lose the only person who had been there from day one. 

Jude was thriving in Spain, quickly fitting into the team and contributing to many goals and some assists. Best and youngest player, with many nominees to awards, It looked like he was doing better and happy, but you wouldn't know since your messages became less and less through those four months. You hated feeling a bit angry, jealous, and frustrated because he was doing better than you. 

But that would vanish because, at the end of the day, his happiness was yours as well. Even though you were miles apart, there was always something that brought the two of you together, which was Duke. You relished the good memories with Jude and cried to sleep because it wouldn't happen soon again. But a moment of honesty, you had to move on and not hold onto hope he would come back and chase you.

You learned to live with the fact but it was still hard to process. Maybe in another lifetime, you could have what you did with Jude, but for now, you were okay. It might be hard, but if something is worth fighting for, then it will occur, they just needed and required a huge miracle. You might have lost Jude but it meant you could learn from that and become a stronger person. 

Having been invited to an art gallery and museum, you got ready for the evening. Had the patience to complete a perfect blowout, and do your makeup. You also had the chance to wear your new black dress that fit perfectly for the evening. “How do I look Duke?” his head propped up and barked, which made you giggle. 

You turned to face the mirror for one last look, fixing your necklace, hiding the J initial that was still there, and spraying your favourite perfume. Your doorbell rang, and a few knocks were heard as you approached the door. Unbeknownst to you, Jude was on the other side. You opened the door to reveal him. “Jude!” you gasped, Duke coming to your side and shaking his tail when he saw Jude. Jude’s eyes roamed your body, his mouth slightly agape feeling breathless.

“I was hoping we could talk. Can I come in?”

[howtotwirlaknife22]

Hesh dating headcannons (NSFW & SFW)

Hesh is one of the best guys you could possibly ask for as a boyfriend let be real.

He’s respectful, he’s smart, and he even knows how to crack a joke or two that has you gasping for air laughing.

He knows how to get crafty and build things. You need a new bookshelf because the one you have doesn’t hold all of your books? Don’t worry, he’s already on it. You have a picture you need framed? He’s building you a custom one with a cute message written on the back of it from him.

He loves to go on dates like the movies, walks in the park, going out for dinner at a new restaurant, camping, and even things like mini golf are fun for him. He just likes to get out and do things.

He especially loves it if he can bring Riley on those dates.

Which is another thing, you should be a dog person if you’re going to make a relationship with him work. Riley is his #1 wingman and he brings him with him EVERYWHERE.

That’s actually how the two of you met.

You were eating lunch in a park, sitting on your little blanket when you heard some rustling behind you. You turned around and saw a huge German Sheppard sniffing around in your picnic basket.

At first, you were a little intimidated because you didn’t know who’s dog it was, but then you saw a man running towards you and calling out for the dog. You’d be lying if you said the man wasn’t incredibly handsome.

He apologized as he leashed the dog again, explaining to you how the dog had gotten off his leash while he went to the restroom and how he must have smelled the peanut butter in your sandwiches. The next thing you knew, you were both exchanging laughs and phone numbers.

Hesh is such a supportive boyfriend. He’s the first to tell you how proud he is of you, and he encourages you to keep chasing after your goals.

Hes also amazing at providing comfort to you. After what he’s been through, he knows how tough life can be. But he’ll never judge you for anything you’re upset about. Whether that be a sad animal video you found online, or something more serious like losing a job or failing an important college class. He’s there to give you a hug and tell you that it’s okay, that there are always other options and ways to fix it.

Do NOT let this man into a kitchen for anything that requires more than 5 ingredients. It will either end in the house almost burning down or a mess all over the entire kitchen. Boy cannot cook to save his life.

Somehow Riley got a long stripe of frosting down his tail in the process of him trying to make cupcakes for your anniversary.

Speaking of anniversaries, he doesn’t forget any of the important dates you guys have. He remembers your birthday, your anniversary, your plans for Valentine’s Day, and he even remembers your family members birthdays.

He’s definitely the type of guy to treat your father with respect and charm your mother.

“I see where ____ gets their good looks from!” When your mother laughs, he raises an eyebrow. “I actually meant him.” And he points at your father. Your mother laughed even harder and your father shook his head at you. You just rolled your eyes and smiled, knowing how much of a goof your man was.

Now onto the dirty stuff…

Hesh is a passionate lover, he takes his time with you in the bedroom and would never make you feel bad if there was something that you didn’t want to do.

The second he sees discomfort in your face he immediately stops and checks in on you. When you confirm you’re okay he kisses you on the forehead and slowly starts up again.

When he’s really in the groove of things he’ll have his hands by your sides as he’s pumping in and out of you at a steady pace, letting out grunts and huffs as his eyes take in your gorgeous body under him.

He loves to play with your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and index, and sucking on the other. He sometimes bites down a little as well, cheeky bastard.

He’s a little too shy to ask you for it, but he’d love it if you sat on his face. Especially if you’re on the thicker side. Suffocate this man, please.

Speaking of, his favorite positions would be missionary, against the wall, or even lotus. He just loves to see your face, he loves to see your expression as he’s pleasuring you. He does like to tease you a little, so he imitates the faces you make just to see you get flustered. This always makes him chuckle a little.

He’s not one to be super serious in the bedroom. He’ll tease you a little just to see you blush and laugh. He sees this as a way to break down walls, make things easier to work around.

He’s not against shower sex, and you often have to fight him off of you before you get ready for work because he’s always wanting to shower with you (he almost always makes you late when he does).

He’s a pretty decent size, he’s about 6 inches long with a slight upward curve. He’s girthy as hell too. His balls are truly impressive though. They’re very full and tight, and they’re the keys to getting him off fast.

He’s hairy, but he tends to manscape pretty often. Lots on his chest, arms, and legs. He has a nice happy trail and he knows you love it, so he loves to stretch in front of you.

He’s also very strong, and he loves to flex in front of you and hold you up whenever he can.

Okie that’s all I have for today, requests are still open so lmk if you want me to write :) 💌

Edit: I didn’t add my frickin tag list 😭😭

My b ya’ll and lmk if you wanna be added to it 🙏🙏

@blacktacmopsi @forsworned @tokillamockingbird427 @milkteaarttime