#you know. so more people see. and im not lying. hes here.

[sukioyakio]

тнє ¢яαzу тнιηgs ι ѕαу

Pairing Gojo Satoru x femreader

An: here is something to eat while I’m working on my choso fanfic.But anyway here a crack fluff writing.Lovesick Gojo.Drabble non-proread so sorry about the grammar. mowed count like around 300 I think.

”Shoko I think I’m lesbian”Gojo said confidently with a wide smile as if he said that he could fly as high to touch the clouds again just like when there were teenagers.

Shoko drop her cigarette onto the ground beneath them,as he turned her head to the side with a shock, disbelief,and dumbfounded all together painted on her face. As she see her friend smiling like a complete fool.

She pauses to grab her thoughts and her intelligence for this.Because what on earth did he just said. . .

As if Gojo read shoko mind.He repeated for her. “I’m lesbian shoko”He stare into the blue sky,of the jujitsu school second floor;where they were at.Shoko still look at him with dumbfounded eyes.

“What?..”She answered with disbelief running as clear as her confused eyes. She was usually good dealing with Gojo stupidity as such as he was very much a man child.But his dumb question wasn’t for her to deal with but for her partner to deal with.And that being his best friend.But sadly he wasn’t here at the time since he was in a mission at the moment.

She look at him and he look at her with such a prideful smile and his clear ocean eyes filled with love and devotion.

Before shoko could ask him for a clearer explanation of his words.He began talking with such animated expressions.

“I mean it,like this girl has my heart in diabetes, steroids, drugs!Like When I see her. . . god” He heartfelt-Ly sighs “ It like I’m looking at an angel,or one of those beautiful ancient paintings.She is very different from what am I known;opposite do attracted shoko.

-She feisty,Ambition,Conscientious,Ethical and many more but Holy lord,if you seen the way she trains when she alone,i swear the air between her thigh would be m- ahem. . ." Gojo Clears his throat,looking away from shook face,blush painted onto his cheeks,as he continues.

"She doesn’t give people to tell her what to do,she'll bite back like a hot black Panther-”He says Practically vibrating with energy,waving his hands animatedly while his continues talking.

“She has this side,that makes me feel like I'm Someone around her"-he mumbles lowly'like you and surguru'- "And the way that she willing to protect her students from danger or from the higher up-that to me is Strong signals of love since we do the same for our students.But you should see how kind she is to her students even when she is upset or mad at them and she always insisted gives me sweet for everything she hurts me”He grinning from ear to ear as he talk to shoko about you.And this makes his cheeks flushed with enthusiasm.

Shoko now looks at him,giving out a huff of a sly smile before becoming a sigh.She was still confused with her male friend literally in front of her saying that ‘his lesbian’. She just see him rapid fire he burning love about this girl towards her .Basically letting him yap to her. But she interrupted him.

“Ok but how does this make you lesbian?If your literally talking about a girl who you are in-love with.Do you know what the sexuality lesbian means right?”She announce with her arm crossed.She really doesn’t care who this girl(you) is, it wasn’t her thing to ask him who the mysterious girl is and has no plans too,because if one thing for sure is that he'll talk about his sex life to her and she really doesn't care. (She gonna find out soon enough,time will tell)

That interpretation effortlessly making Gojo stop his yap session and listening to her words completely collecting the words that made out of her mouth and replies.“ Yea,I know what lesbian means duh and yep im totally lesbian shoko.Lesbian,lesbian lesbian that my sexuality doc.” He finishes with smirk with a cocky smile on his perfect pink lips.

As shoko palms herself,and loudly groans.And mumbles “I swear to lord that you do this to make me fucking go dumb,and dumber with each one of your questions,Gojo” Before rubbing her nose bridge with her hand.

Gojo looking at her with offensive look. “I’m being very serious here with you shoko,It not one of my dumb comments or weird questions nor recommendations,shoko” Gojo replied with a serious expression on his face,one shoko seen rare times on his face.

Shoko just shrugs and shake her head with disbelief,before talking again. “Ok. . .but let me explain you what lesbian means because I think your confused;lesbian means when two Females are in love,meaning girls are in love physically and sexually with each other.But If your a male in this situation and you say that you like a girl, it means your straight” She says with a steady voice.Looking at Gojo nods at shoko words.

“Yep still Lesbian” He says with his chest high.Shoko huff out in annoyance as she slaps herself in the face.Having to deal with his stubbornness and over the top random talks.

“I’m very much lesbian,because it means only girls x me,I am very much attracted to girls,Only girls,why can't you see that".-he quietly wines"-Im pretty sad that you don’t understand me” Gojo face drops with a mocking sad face. “I’m done with you,your making me lose brain cells ,when I need them to heal my patients” She answered back to him,as she leave him alone.Walking away from him,just to hear him footsteps come along her way.And chatting with her again about his love of his life,as well covering his eyes with his black blind fold.

While She walks downstairs with him taking most of the space of the little staircase,afterwards they walk towards the hallways where the teaching rooms were set.

Then suddenly shoko hears footsteps walking there way.Then seeing it was you,and somehow notice how Gojo was standing there still with his mouth closed,completely stop talking and his lips turn into a sly smile.Shoko knew you,you were the teacher from Kyoto jujustus high school who had been working with her best friend utahime. ’Oh it (___).Is she here to give Mr. Yaga something from Kyoto’

As soon you walk over there with a quiet smile on your lips,giving shoko a smile and Gojo an annoyed look.Which wasn't uncommon for you to do that.

Shoko began talking.”Hey (___),what you doing here in Tokyo today,Are you Here to give Mr Yaga some paper or something?” Shoko spoke in nonchalantly to you.

You sigh when you heard her spoke about the topic of Yaga.”Sadly yes,I had to do extra paper work,because of Someone here who decided to go along in my assigned mission and make a complete mess of thing,mhmm.Gojo Satoru”

shoko swear that Gojo just grow a pair of ears and a dog tail wailing in happiness even if he faces shows with a cocky smile.

As Gojo chuckles loudly at your comments about him,making you huff out in annoyance,completely rolling your eyes.

“Why are you so mean”he says with mockery with a smile”I’ll was just looking out for our sweet lovely teacher,plus we can’t lose another beauty,right?” He says with his composure strong, and give you a playful smirk.Hoping you would blush from his comment but failed. Shoko looks at him and you, and instantly realizes that your this man child loving crush.And that only makes her want to roll her eyes out for not knowing who it was instantly;now that she think about it.It was as obvious as a tree in a desert.

You bluff out,before replying back “I am completely fine without your assistance and I was completely fine when I was in my mission,Satoru Gojo and now ill got to do extra work” you spoke in a steady pace,also with a firm voice.Your eyes brow furrowed now in frustration.

Gojo was easily countered with his body leaning forward completely towering you,and leans more close to you.Like he always does with everyone.It in his nature to invade people's personal space.

"My lord,Can't I even visit My favorite teacher in Kyoto. .You know it honestly make me sad that you weren't happy to see your handsome knight in shining armor" He replied back with a teasing manner,As you roll your eyes,with some pink blush forming in your cheeks crossing your arms,not trying to appear weak.

Eyes looking deep into his blind fold."I hope it did made you sad,because now I have to deal with paperwork for my day off" You snap at him with a calm voice,you lean away from your guys close proximity.You notice how he completely hover you so effortlessly, making you wonder'were you this short';you could practically smell his intense yet calming cologne.Before mumbling "Stupid Jake frost wanna be" Not caring if he heard you.

He stop leaning toward you,his heart pounding with eagerness.As he compose himself.Before chuckling in radiant feats;a perfect shade of pink was painted on his face.He found you absolutely adorable, And fucking perfect in his eyes.

You mumble about him being Jake frost made him crackle.It would infrared you that he was mocking you;you couldn't bring yourself up to punching him when he smiling like that.

Shoko stood there,dumbfounded by you and him,like she was watching two pair of dummies Flirt.More like gojo trying to use his teenager boyish type of flirting towards you.

At least shoko could understand your part,how the hell were you supposed to know whether he likes someone,when he this jolly to everyone. But for gojo to be laying around the brushes and not acting like a man,or not having confidence with his next move or not making the first move;was killing her intensely.

'He act like a Teenager-" she mentally groans '-Oh my god,Seeing right in front of makes me even think that the doctor exams were more easy than having to see them' Shoko Spoke in her mind,as she rubs her temples in frustration.

She really needed to smoke a cigarette again.As if on cue,you quietly dismiss yourself that utahime need help in kyoto and so you, walk away from where they were.Shoko was looking at you walk away until she couldn't anymore but she already could tell that he was watching you intently.especially with all six of his eyes.

Turning her head towards gojo,He has this big dorky smile and more blush creep up onto his face.He nonchalantly return to standing right beside shoko.

"That the girl you love"

"That the girl I love"

Both shoko and gojo said in unison.Gojo let out a dreamy sigh before looking down at shoko with his blind fold on.He chuckled a bit when he heard her said the same thing as him.

"I'm sooo lesbian for that girl.That the girl I will deliver the world too" He said with plain calm voice.With a cheeky grin.Effectively making shoko groan loudly."it called straight,lovesick idiot"

She walked ahead of him,shouting at him.,"I'm done with your ass satoru! I need a smoke session without you breaking my brain for the day" She says nonchalantly without looking back as she wave him away,and while walking away she could hear gojo rich, honey driping like laughter;making her sigh with a sly smile before taking out a cigarette a lighting it up.Placing it into her mouth.

"What an idiot” she mutter before puffing out airs of smoke that cover her with her the nature smell of a cigarette.

As Gojo was nagging you,as you punched him to stop annoying her.

Thanks for reading this and may your day be the best day. Also tell me your thought on this 5:am written story.

@sukioyakio 2024

@lil-annonie @mxrgodsstuff @scoobysnakz @lynxslokley @mononijikayu

[oscconfessions]

OKAY II16 THEORY.

i dont know if mephone ACTUALLY made the contestants or what. this is kinds halfbaked as it doesnt have an explanation on why nobody can remember pre-show

but, in this theory, mphone didnt make the contestants. cobs is a lying liarface and says this to turn the final two against him. knife isnt really gonna believe him, but suitcase- she already hates mephone, she's been growing more and more leaderlike since standing up to nickel way back when, BUT she's consistently been shown to have a lack of confidence in her reality. sees things that arent real, yadda yadda.

cobs SAYS he's been watching the show. presuming how we watch it is how he did, he's seen suitcase's hallucinations. At least, he's seen suitcase TALK about it. overall, heres the theory in a nutshell

cobs is trying to use her derealization/psychosis/unreality issues against her.

this is where things turn into a prediction: she's going to go back (possibly without knife), warn the others, and tell them about the s3 time inconsistency. she's probably going to be freaking out/breaking down in some way too, cause telling someone with unreality struggles that theyre not real is, yk, bad. but shes going to tell the others and baseball is likely going to rally behind her too, cause shes his friend. the others see baseball, previous leader of the group, agree with the time inconsistency AND stick with suitcase, and theyre gonna be like "maybe mephone IS a bad guy" and boom. mephone hated by contestants. I dont think suitcase or the others are gonna bring him to cobs, because cobs is ALSO bad, but my main idea is that theyre gonna distrust him until he does something to get the trust back/save the day.

note here: im not saying mephone or suitcase are bad people! i love both of them and think highly, im just theorizing out here

EVIDENCE:

i dont got any ASIDE FROM the fact that suitcase is shown before/on screen in every noticable case of glitching.

and from todays episode:

i ALSO noticed that, in the ii16 act 1 episode, theres a strong emphasis on suitcase's thoughts about things "not being real", or otherwise conveyed such a thing

anyway um. build on this if you like. im so obsessed woth my girl suitcase i hope she she gets like. closure in some way. i also hope she gets meds for those hallucinations <3 goodbye

wish i could be on anon for this, but im 🧭 so hello!!!

.

[sorrowsaint]

i like the kelp too

[abyssalpriest]

unrelated to that lmfao

i love being not (insert religions based on the kings and their people as ''demons'') but being adjacent to the communities while knowing the kings on a personal level because oh boy

[preqwells]

imagining simon with a reader that's extremely awkward since it's their first serious relationship.

simon was practically yearning for your touch, ready to burst at the seams and teeter over while you hesitantly refrained. you two had been dating for at least eight months and had known each other for longer around this point, so he was well-adjusted and within his comfort zone with you; he trusts you. you’ve had flings here and there, all of which lasted more than a month if you were lucky— not your fault these assholes did a complete 180 once you officially put a title on things. for a long time, you convinced yourself that it was your fault since the only common factor in all of those relationships was you until simon was practically desperate to prove you wrong— although his poker face and lack of flowery words would ever allow him to do so.

every time simon would try to get closer to you at night? you didn’t know what to do. cheek kisses? you’d just press your lips into a tight-lipped smile, managing a small “thanks” and averted your gaze. if simon tried to hold your hand? it was almost like you’d find a way to wiggle out of it. it was almost like you weren’t used to affection— how could you of all people not be used to affection, he wondered.

he started to eventually get discouraged at one point. he wasn’t one for affection often, but you didn’t seem to want to get closer to him— why didn’t you want to get closer to him? he’d try to brush it off, but he wasn’t good with words and touch was all he had left.

it was abruptly brought up when you two were seated on the couch, his eyes mindlessly mapping out how your hair framed the side of your face, assuming it began to tickle you from the way you raised your hand and began to gently scratch the softness of your cheek. “why do you move away from me when i try to touch you?” he suddenly asked, his voice vibrating in his chest. he caught onto the way your jaw undulated at the question which only fueled his curiosity. were you aware you had been doing this to him? were you dangling your affection above his head? what a cruel game if you were, honestly. “um…” you began, a silence ensuing between you two. you didn’t know what to say— what could you say? your reasoning felt silly the more you thought about it— you didn’t want to push simon away of all people.

“i don’t know what to do or where to put my hands… and im afraid i’ll get clingy. its not that i dont like it… i do…. i just…” you mumbled, your eyes flickering between his and the tv.

…that was it?

you didn’t know where to put your hands and you thought you’d be clingy just after giving him a small hug? small kiss? he stifled a laugh which you caught onto, prompting a small pout to form on your plush lips. “why’re you laughing? i’m being serious!” you groaned, slightly frustrated at the feeling of simon not taking this seriously. simon took your frustration in stride, the roughness of his hands grazing across your cheeks as he gingerly cupped the sides of your face. “s’nothin— nothin a’ all…” he mumbled, secretly on cloud nine as he silenced you with a kiss, feeling you tense up to which he elicited a throaty chuckle. “it’s not— s’not funny!” you attempted to reprimand him which failed, seeing as how you were holding back your laugh at simon’s smile and at how ridiculous the situation was now that you thought about it.

“you’re right. i’m afraid you’ll be like a leech if you get used to me.” he mumbled against your lips. he was pleasantly surprised at the feeling of your hands returning the gesture and cupping his face, your thumbs grazing the stubble which pricked and prodded needles into the soft pads of your fingers. “shut up.” you mumbled back, pulling him down onto the couch with you as he landed on your chest. he tried to ignore the rapid beating of your heart and how it hammered in your chest, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think it was cute.

if you weren’t used to affection, he’d have to change that.

[criminalamnesia]

HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!

thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.

he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.

he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.

but he couldn’t take everything lying down.

did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?

he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.

he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.

he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.

but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.

but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.

simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.

and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?

you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.

the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.

and all the signs pointed to you.

and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.

price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.

johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.

then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.

simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.

maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.

but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.

all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.

and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.

so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.

and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.

even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.

he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.

but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.

the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.

it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.

the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.

“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.

“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”

simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.

“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”

“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”

price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”

“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.

price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”

the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.

he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.

“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.

price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”

simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.

“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”

they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.

pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.

although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.

but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.

an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.

you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.

damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.

you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.

he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.

‘you should have killed me.’

maybe he should have.

thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—

im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!

as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)

[jiminsafairy]

the thrill of the show - jungkook (cam couple +18)

pairings :bf!jungkook x gf!reader

summary: your boyfriend Jungkook comes up with the idea of starting your own cam channel with the excuse of making some extra cash

warnings: live sex (cam couple), tities, a lot of titties! unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys), bj, doggy style, he cums in her tits, they are so in love

wc:2k

a/n: this is my first fic, it took me a while to muster up the courage to post anything here... also english is not my first languaje so excuse my mistakes, be nice!!

"You want us to do what!?" you say, almost choking on your coffee.

"I said, ‘why don't we start a sex cam channel’?" repeats Jungkook on a Thursday morning, while both of you are having breakfast before leaving to the gym.

“Have you gone mad!?” you say.

"Come on, babe, it'll be fun! we get to do what we love and gain a bit of extra money from it. I know how bad you wanna change our couch" your boyfriend says, pointing at the old beat out red couch.

You nod. He was right. You have been dreaming about changing that hideous piece of furniture since you moved to the apartment a year ago. That thing was uncomfortable as hell. Always ended up with sore knees after being fucked on it.

"I give you one chance, one, you hear me?" you state, putting one finger up, "and if I'm somewhat uncomfortable with the whole thing, we immediately cut".

"I wouldn't do it other way, love" coos your boyfriend, giving you a quick peck, "I'm gonna go sign up on the site and set my camera" says disappearing through the kitchen door.

That is how you ended up in this situation, lying in bed with your boyfriend, only wearing a black lace set of lingerie.

"Baby, don't you think you went a bit overboard buying all of… this?" you say pointing at the two — very expensive looking, one might say —softboxes directed at you both, and the 27”-inch new monitor displaying your almost naked image.

"Not at all love, we need to have the best equipment in order to succeed" says Jungkook with a grin, "shall we begin?" he says signaling to the 'start live' button. “You do the honors, babe”.

You reach for the laptop and click on the button, "Here goes nothing" you say, going back to bed.

"And now we wait for people to join us" says Jungkook, placing his hands behind his head and leaning against the pillow "oh look! we have our first viewers!” says excited, “We are Jungkook and y/n, this is our first time doing this so please be good to us".

[imyourdaddy94]: why are they just layin in bed? booooriiingggggggg, imma get out here if you don't start doin something

[punish__me]: you look cute, but I won't subscribe if all you do plan to do is just cuddling

[sugar.tits88]: hey guys, you know this is supposed to be a live sex channel, right...? im leaving

"No, no, guys!" says Jungkook sounding alarmed, "we are fun, please, stay!" he turns to you, placing one hand on your neck and other one on the small of your back, "let's show them how fun we can be".

He starts kissing you, and you reciprocate. You were feeling shy at first, but as the kiss progressed, you started to get more onto the idea of being watched by strangers on the internet.

Your right hands grasps the back of his neck pushing him closer to you. Jungkook breaks the kiss, looking at the chat again, and smiles to you.

[imyourdaddy94]: show us her tits!

"They want to see your tits, should we show them?" says Jungkook placing one hand on the small of your back and going upwards. You nod, giving him permission.

Jungkook unclasps your bra, helping you sliding it down your arms, showing everyone your large, round breasts. He starts planting small kisses on your neck, going all the way down, grabbing your big breasts with his hands, massaging them.

"Can I?" says Jungkook with his lips close to your nipple, ,"would you let me suck your pretty tits?, he asks. The feeling of his warm breath hitting your sensitive flesh is driving you crazy

“Just do it already Jungkook!" you whimper, raising your voice. You need his mouth on your nipple.

[sugar_tits88]: uh, she's feisty...i like her

You hear the sound of the tips filling the room. You are getting that couch. Your boyfriend chuckles at your tone, lips closing around your left nipple, while pinching the other one. "Oh God Jungkook, don't stop!" you moan.

"My girl loves having her pretty titties sucked, right?" he says, while he keeps sucking at your breasts, switching between nipples. Mouth on one nipple, tattoed hand pinching the other. you let out a needy moan, enjoying the feeling.

Your hand travels south, palming his length from the outside of his black Calvin's.

"I wanna suck your cock" you say panting.

"You want to stuff your pretty mouth with my cock? Is that what you want?" he asks, already knowing the anser.

"Yes, please!", you plead.

"Alright then. Could you take my cock out for me, love?" he asks, going back to taking your nipple in his mouth.

You take his cock out and start stroking it, from the base to the tip. "Mmm...so big..." you say, loving the feeling of your boyfriend's big cock in your hand.

 [punishme__]: look at that thing!! its fucking huge!! subscribing

Jungkook releases your nipple with a loud pop, giving your tits one last squeeze. He proceeds to lay on the bed, stroking his cock at a steady pace, tattoed hand going up and down his shaft.

"What my baby wants my baby gets” Jungkook says with a chuckle, "come here", says palming the space next to him. "I don't wanna brag guys, but her cock-sucking skills are amazing" he chuckles.

Strangers watching you getting your tits sucked made you so horny that you want to give them your best performance. Getting on your knees, you grab his cock by the base, and start pressing small kisses at the tip.

Feeling his cock twitch, you start giving long licks up and down his shaft. You hear him whine, and you wrap your lips around the tip, licking all the pre cum. Jungkook moans, reaching for your nipples and pitching them, “that’s it babe, keep going, wanna fuck that pretty mouth of yours”.

You take his whole length on your mouth, trying to avoid the gag reflex. Jungkook starts bucking up his hips, fucking your mouth, “look at you, taking all this cock in your pretty little mouth. Bet you love having people looking at you while you suck me”.

You moan, nodding, mouth full of cock. “Fuck love, if you keep going at it like that I’m gonna cum in your mouth, and I want to fuck you first” he phants. “On your hands and knees babe, facing the camera, let them see those big tits bounce” Jungkook demands, and you obey.

Getting on all fours, you place yourself facing the camera, watching the lewd image that the both of you portray through the monitor. Jungkook gets behind you, reaching for the hem of your lace panties.

He bends down and start giving small kisses at your back, while tugging at your underwear. Panties off, he kneads your ass checks, “Ready babe?” he asks giving your ass a loud smack. His hand gets to your pussy, placing one finger inside your needy hole “you are so wet y/n, it is all for me? Or is it because people are watching you?” he says, adding another digit.

“All for you, it’s all for you", you state.

"Liar" he says, taking his fingers out of your pussy and licking them clean. “You taste so good baby”.

[badgirlie444]: eat her out!!!

“They want me to eat you out…but I think we’ll leave that out for another time” he says. Grabbing his cock by the base, he gets closer to you.

“Please Kook, want your big cock inside me” you plead, “want you to fuck me numb”. He starts rubbing it up and down your needy slit.

“Like I said before, what my pretty girlfriend wants, she gets” he says entering your pussy with one hard thrust. You moan at the feeling, big cock filling your needy hole.

“God, you are so tight” he moans between thrusts, “such a tight pussy, taking this big cock so well”.

Moans mixed with the sound of the tips coming nonstop fill the room. Your sweaty bodies making the lewdest sounds.

“Harder, please, want you to fuck me harder” you plead, tits bouncing, pussy clenching around his big cock “I want to feel your cock as deep and hard as you can, I need you close”. He starts thrusting harder, cock hitting near your cervix. “That is how you like it mm? such a dirty girl”, he says, giving your ass another slap. You moan in response, just enjoying the feeling of his cock pounding into you.

[cckaddicted]: look at those tits bounce!!! I love you guys

Jungkook grabs your tits on his hands and motions you to get back on your knees and lay against him. Hands pinching your nipples while keeps thrusting inside your needy pussy. “C’mon baby, moan for them, let them know who’s making you feel this good” he coos at your ear. You moan loudly, lost in pleasure.

His right hand leaves your nipple and reaches for your clit, rubbing it slowly. You cannot stand it anymore, you need to cum, “I’m close baby, please make me cum” you implore, hips bucking against his.

He starts rubbing your clit harder, applying more pressure on the sensitive bud, “my dirty girl wants to cum, mmh?” he surprises you with a hard slap to your needy pussy, that sending you over the edge.

“I-I’m cumming Kook, p-please don’t stop, please!” you cry, cumming on his cock while he keeps up with his thrusts. “That’s it love, cum, I got you,"he coos "you feel so good clenching around my cock” whispers your boyfriend next to your ear, as he keeps stroking your clit, helping you ride your high.

Once you get back to reality, you feel his thrusts getting sloppier, and you know he’s getting close to cumming, needy hands grabbing onto your flesh.

Left hand still pinching your nipple, he places two tattoed fingers inside your mouth, and you suck them as if it was his cock. “Baby I’m close, you feel so good, I’m gonna cum, god, I’m so close” he says between moans. “Where do you want me?” he asks you, feeling his release getting closer and closer.

“Tits” you answer.

He takes his cock out your pussy and gets up to stand next to the bed’s edge, and you feel your pussy clench at the feeling. You already miss him, wishing he could be inside you forever.

You, who are still on your knees, crawl on the bed, putting your tits at the same height as his cock. “That’s it, love, press them together for me, would you do that?” he asks, hand stroking up and down his shaft, putting more pressure on the tip.

You press your tits together, looking at him in the eye. God, he’s so handsome. And all yours.

“I’m so close baby,” he whines as he fastens his pace. You kneel a bit, getting close to hiim, and put your tongue out, licking the tip.

That sends him over the edge “I’m cumming, give me your tits”. After a few more strokes you feel the warm spurts of cum landing on your tits, ”I’m cumming so hard”. He keeps stoking his cock, getting all the cum out. He slaps his cock against your tits, smearing all the cum, and you get your tongue out to clean him up.

“That was…something” he says between pants. You laugh as you get up, giving him a passionate kiss. Your cum covered tits press against his chest.

Once you are a bit more relaxed, you decide to look at the chat. Jungkook reads a few of them out loud, happy with the aftermath of your little show.

[cckaddicted]: that was so hot! you have one new subscriber

[gddgirl4]: I hope you guys don’t mind I got my vibrator out for this I came so hard

"Thank you so much monsterdick74 for the tip! Thank you all”, he replies to a few more comments, making small talk. He tells the chat that this was not a one-time thing, and that you are planning on doing more live streams more often.

“Same time tomorrow? What do you guys think?” he asks the chat. Everyone is excited, and the subscriber count keeps going up. “That was all for today guys, see you!” pressing on the ‘end of live’ button, you see the chat disappearing, going back to being only you two.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to do this again tomorrow, right babe?” you say, filled with excitement.

“I gues we finaly getting that couch” he says, laughing.

[writersdrug]

Training for Two

Chapter 3. New Trails

Masterlist

Summary: You and Riley take the beaten path to defeat boredom. Simon realizes that the seed of his new obsession has been planted.

Warnings: mild cursing, obsessive behavior

Simon had never told you how long he'd be gone - which was fine, your flat was only a twenty-minute drive from his home, should you need to do laundry or get more soap. You had some freelancing logo-design work you could focus on in your downtime, and Simon had been gracious enough to leave a note on the coffee table with the wifi password. Truth be told, you imagined this would feel like a holiday: no more shitty bosses. You were your own boss, here. You could make your own schedule, as long as you made time for Riley.

You soon discovered, after moving into Ghost's house, that it was very much not a vacation. The interior of his home was so barren that it made you feel like you had been sent to an asylum. On your first day there, you managed to get a bit of freelance work done; after that, you tried watching the telly, but you couldn't drown the heavy restlessness in the back of your mind.

You decided to phone a friend.

"What's Riley like?" Leslie said through the phone, which was tucked under your ear.

"Military dog." You replied. You were lying on the floor next to Riley, stroking her fur as her head rested on your stomach. "So proper, I've never seen anything like it. You know- when I made breakfast today, I dropped some food on the linoleum- she didn't bat an eye. Girl just watched."

"That's amazing... you know Donald would have run to it like it was the first meal he'd been fed in years."

You laughed, making Riley's head bounce on your abdomen. "Mum has got to stop feeding them real food..."

"What about the client?" Leslie said, changing the subject. "Simon, was it? What's he like?"

"Honestly?" You began, scratching between Riley's ears. "A decent guy, don't get me wrong - but bland. Gruff. His apartment is, too."

"Just like ya mum always said." She snickered. "Can I see?"

You sighed. "Nah, I never checked if it was ok to bring people over. Not sure if he'd appreciate me giving you a tour. But I'll ask next time if you can visit."

"That's fair..." You heard her shuffling around on the other end of the line. "Well listen babes, I should get back to work. Got five left on my lunch break."

You groaned at the prospect of having to be alone in Simon's barren home again. "Alright... still on for this Thursday?"

"You know it! Nina's coming too."

You grimaced. "Whoop-tee-doo..."

"Oh, c'mon, I'll make sure she's civil. Love ya."

"She'd better be. Love you!"

The call ended with a click, and you let the phone slide from your shoulder with a sigh. You stared at the ceiling, running through what you could possibly do. You'd already had a shower at your flat before coming here, you'd done plenty of work...

Riley tilted her head up to look at you, sensing your frustration. You looked back down at her.

"What d'you and Simon do all day?" You asked.

She sighed and looked away.

Maybe it was time for a walk.

"Alright, Riley!" You said, pocketing your phone and sitting up. She scrambled up at the sudden movement; her eyes followed your every move as you stood, her stare expectant and excited.

"Fancy a walk?" You asked.

She whined and yapped, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

You chuckled. "C'mon, then - before you and I both start going insane."

On your way to the closet to fetch her leash, she had nearly knocked you down to beat you there. You huffed, leaning down to grab your shoes and tug them on. She sat (im)patiently and watched, her tail slapping against the wooden floor.

"Alright, alright..." You laughed, grabbing her leash and latching it onto her harness. She obediently trotted to the front door and sat, waiting for you. You opened the door and stepped outside, confused when the leash tugged in your hand. You looked back inside and saw that Riley hadn't moved from her seat on the floor. She looked at you, ears forward and eyes eager as she waited for... something.

You looked at her, puzzled. "What's wrong, girl?"

She whined, pointing one foot up and thumping her tail against the floor.

Oh, right. Military dog.

"Okay, Riley." You said clearly, and she happily trotted out the door. You chuckled, locking the deadbolt behind you and beginning the much needed walk. She stuck right by your side, never passing you nor falling behind.

For the kind of gruff, admittedly shady man that Simon was, you noticed that he lived in a pretty nice area. If you told your mum where he lived, she'd blow a cap out of jealousy - the houses were neatly lined down the street, each one with a driveway and a small garden bed underneath the living room windows. Simon's was noticeably bare - Christ, even his grass was thinner than the other neighbors', how does one manage that?

You eyed his empty garden bed as you passed it. You wondered if he would let you plant a few things... just to liven up the drabness. A couple of Hostas, maybe some African Violets... you knew he wouldn't want too much colour, but he definitely needed something to brighten his home. Currently, it stuck out like a sore thumb against the other houses. Not to mention, it would give you something to slice through the boredom of staying here.

Eventually, the sidewalk led to the edge of a small patch of woods. A bridge stretched over the creek, which then led to a longer, winding path through the trees. You came to a halt, reading the sign next to the trail.

"Po-wee-hee-co park..." You mumbled and Riley stared at you with her tongue hanging from the side of her mouth. "Poeheko Park? You ever been here?"

She looked between you and the trail, sniffing the air. She licked her lips and whined.

"Suppose not, Simon's only ever dragged you around the block a few times, huh?"

She eyed the trail warily, but you could see her eyes brimming with eagerness and interest. You chuckled, reigning in her leash and starting over the bridge. "Time for an adventure!"

Simon sat stoically on the heli, eyes fixed on the wall across from him. His palms rested on his thighs, fingers splayed. He appeared calm and collected, focused on the mission that Priced had debriefed not too long ago.

Except, the mission couldn't have been further from his mind. He was thinking about you and Riley. We're you giving her enough attention? That was a dumb question; clearly you knew how much attention a dog needed. You'd done this before... but had you ever worked with a dog that had certain needs and medications? You never mentioned it during the interview, and he didn't remember to ask. What if you couldn't see the signs when Riley's pain was flaring up? What if you had forgotten that she needed pain medication?

He thought about texting you - but he quickly shut the thought down. He'd reserved texting for emergencies only, and he knew you were good at your job. There wasn't a moment of your life you hadn't spent around dogs, of course you would take perfect care of Riley.

"Honin' in, LT?" Soap's voice echoed through the coms as he took the seat opposite from Simon. He was relaxed, as if this was just another Friday for him - well, Simon supposed, it was.

"Always." Simon replied gruffly, focusing back on the mission at hand. He cleared his throat and flexed his fingers, trying to keep a cool composure.

"How's Riley doin'?" Soap asked. "Know I jus' seen 'er a few days ago, but- ye finally cave n' get someone to pet sit?"

Simon grunted. "'Course. Not gonna leave 'er alone that long, it'd be torture."

"Who'd ye get?"

"What's it to you?"

"Secret service? Ye snag one of the Royal Guards fer the job?"

"Jog on, Soap." Simon warned with a serious look, and Soap raised his hands in defense.

He couldn't tell Johnny about you. A fierce, possessive feeling in his chest told him not to. He knew Johnny had a thing for young, pretty things like you, and he refused to let you fall victim to his desires. In fact, he hated the thought of it.

But- who was he? Why was he being so protective over someone he barely knew? You were an adult, perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Why should Simon cockblock you and Johnny? So what if he wanted to shag you?

Mentally, he shook his head. No. Never. He'd lock you in his house if it meant keeping Jonny away from you. Even if Simon wasn't anything more than your client, he wasn't going to allow Johnny to get close to you. It would be too weird. You're his, after all.

...

Fuck.

He sighed and adjusted his position in his seat. You and Johnny didn't even know each other, for Christ's sake. He was overthinking all of this. You'd probably never even meet his team, why would you need to? You only ever have reason to spend time in his house, not on base. You just watch Riley, make breakfast in his kitchen, sleep on his couch, maybe his bed, if you're with the dog... using his bathroom, his shower...

He scowled at himself. Maybe hiring you was a huge mistake. You were too distracting.

Next ->

Taglist: @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen @jisungswiftie @sweet-tooth4you @kennyis-aloser @hyyyxr @lahniu @dory-98 @naradae @cum-tea-and-towels @boystepper @definitelynotaclown @your-wifes-boyfriend @ghostslittlegf @bossva @poppingaround @yannvi @katzykat @mileyraes @chocolate-noodles @jupiternighties @sadlonelybagel @rorysbrainrot @identity2212 @pricescontroversiallyyoungerwife @reevesdriver @kingshitonly @ghost4love @lilyofhoon @xxkay15xx @cosmic-nuisance4 @danielle143

[faggy--butch]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

[emeraldgreenbeautiesstu]

written for this request : matt x hooters girl, i’m thinking the triplets are recurring customers that only come to see her because matt thinks she’s hot. (pls pls pls pls! make it smutty!)

warnings : dom!matt, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up!), oral (male receiving) degradation, public (kinda?) sex.

lowercase intended.

a/n : this is my first time writing smut so right now i'm just testing out the waters, thanks for the request! and as always, feedback is appreciated!

-

y/n had been working at a hooters in la for about four months and it was definitely an interesting job. and it paid good. she tended to rack up the most tips out of all of her coworkers, being the hottest one. She had double d’s and a nice ass, as well as sunkissed skin, and caramel brown hair. she was used to old shriveled patrons hitting on her by now, but she wasn't used to younger people coming in as much. but recently, a group of three men had been coming in about once a week for about a month and a half now, and the change of scenery was a big step up from the wrinkly perverts who she typically served. she recognized the boys to be youtubers, the sturniolo triplets. y/n had never watched their videos, but she knew enough about them to know they post the videos in their car, and that 12 year old girls go crazy over them.

y/n was nearing the end of her shift with only two hours left, when the hot regulars walked in. she found them all attractive, but the quiet one was her favorite. she watched as they sat in her section as they always do, smiling to herself. y/n made her way to their table, swaying her hips and making her tits bounce slightly as she pulled out her notepad and pen. it was a tactic she used to get more tips. “hey yall, welcome to hooters! can i get yall something to drink?” her sweet southern accent rang out.

the one she recognized to be nick spoke up saying, “i'll have a dr. pepper, and they'll have pepsis.” he said, pointing to his brothers. y/n noticed the one she recognized as matt had moved his hand to his pants, readjusting as he tried not to look at her. she smiled, loving the effect she had on him. shed be lying if she said she didnt think about him fucking her.

“ sure honey, ill be right back with that.” she walked away, making sure to ‘accidentally’ brush matts arm with her hip as she walked away.

time had past and the boys had gotten their food. y/n had passed their table, after teasing matt all night, brushing his hand as she gave him refills, hitting his shoulder when she laughed, etc. she soon noticed that matt had gotten up behind her. “im sorry did i forget something?” she said, turning around.

“something like that.” he grumbled, motioning for her to follow him as he walked past her. he led her to the back room, and pinned her against the wall, hands on either side of her head. “if you wanna act like a little slut all night, ill treat you like one.” he growled, not breaking eye contact. the breath hitched in y/ns throat, as she nodded. he broke away to lock the door. “knees.” matt said, sitting in a chair and manspreading, the bulge in his tight pants was extremely visible. she nodded, clenching her legs before getting on her knees, feeling matts gaze burning her skin. she unbuckled his belt, looking up to meet his eyes. she undid his pants and moved his boxers, his dick springing up to hit his stomach. he was big. “how bad do you want it sweetheart.” he inquired with his boston accent more prominent on the word 'sweetheart'.

“bad. so so bad.” y/n said, reaching for his aching member. she wrapped a hand around it, slowly pumping up and down his full length. matt got impatient. he grabbed her hair by the base of her ponytail, pushing her mouth onto his dick.

“you're such a slut y/n. working here with your tits on display? you know all the men here are starin, and you love it you whore. now you're blowing a costumer in the breakroom.” he growled, watching her pump up and down on his dick, his grip on her ponytail tight as he helped her bob. “s’pretty.”

he released into her mouth and she pulled off, starting to spit when matt said. “nup, good girls swallow it.” she did what she was told. she wanted to be a good girl. matt immediately pulled her up from the floor to a standing position, moving her to the wall once more. y/n stood dripping, when matt ripped her tiny shorts off, revealing no underwear. he smirked, seeing how soaked he was. “so wet already?”

“matt i need you.” she moaned out, taking matt by surprise. with no more words, he picked her up by her thighs and slammed into her, feeling her walls stretch. she yelped at the feeling, not even attempting to muffle her sounds as he aggressively thrusted in and out. after minutes of him absolutely rocking her shit, she moaned out “matt i- im gonna cum” the tension in her stomach having little to no give.

"you cum when i say you cum." he said, continuing to pound into her. he came again, pumping it into her. "dont wanna waste it now do we sweetheart?" he asked, realizing y/ns eyes were closed and her head was back. she responded with a weak 'mhm', he grabbed her chin with his thumb and index, pulling her face down to meet his. "answer me." he growled.

"no, we dont wanna waste it." she spat out. she came all over his dick, moaning as she couldnt hold it in any longer. they snapped out of their high when they heard a fist pounding on the door.

"whos in there!" the manager of the store shouted through the door.

shit.

a/n : tbh, probs could've done better but oh well! 🎀

[xprakzif]

puppy love

chris sturniolo

pairings: chris x fem!reader (unestablished)

warnings: fluff/angst, cursing, none really

summary: chris doesn’t know how to express his feelings and now she thinks he hates her.

chris always seemed to have that narcissistic persona. any girl who came across him knew better than to try it, even if they attempted to get at him, he was quick to let it known he was uninterested. so why was he acting like this with her?

he didn’t even know. nick was great at making new friends, and she just happened to be at the same beach at the time they were. the triplets, along with nate, traveled to a smaller town that was typically quiet but had beautiful views and landmarks.

they were driving around until they spotted the rather empty beach. they walked along the tide talking for what felt like hours. they honestly lost track of time, and direction.

walking their way was a girl, she looked majestic in the sunset that made her skin glow. she wore a light pink bikini underneath a crocheted sweater that only covered her top half. in her right hand was a baby pink retractable leash, leading down to a small, harnessed, yorkie puppy that started to run up to the boys. she was ethereal, to chris atleast.

“look- maybe we can ask her how to get back to the car?” nate pointed to her, she was busy enjoying the sunset and didn’t notice them, until the dog began to bark.

“shhh, kiwi-“ she finally saw the group of boys coming up to her, gaining anxiety. usually people wanted to meet kiwi, she hoped that’s why they approached her.

“hi- oh!” nick started to speak until kiwi interrupted, barking in a high pitch while she struggled to get closer being pulled back by the pink harness.

“sorry, she’s friendly- she just wants you to pet her,”

matt wasted no time in bending down to greet the giddy puppy wagging her tail at the attention. he cooed and scratched at her fluffy ears.

“cute.. um this is gonna sound crazy, but we kinda lost our car-” nick explained.

“we aren’t from around here, my names nate” he interrupted nick, deepening his voice. chris was only watching, he’d never been so quiet before. even he realized.

“..okay, im y/n. where’d you guys park?”

“it was small lot in front of the surf shop building, when you get off the main road?” replied nate.

“oh- i parked there too! i can show you guys, we were just heading back home.” chris was surprised she had walked all this way, he was unaware that they were only walking for 40 minutes.

she was set in between matt and nick, walking ahead a bit to lead them. matt was eyeing kiwi the entire time. she noticed him walking close to her paying attention to everytime kiwi sniffed the sand or tried to drink the slow tide that came by.

“here,” she handed off the leash to him, gaining a huge smile in return. “don’t lose my baby, please.”

within the 40 minute walk back to the lot, nick made most the conversation, getting to know the girl. once again, chris realized how quiet he’d been. so did everyone else.

“here we are, this your van?” she pointed to the empty parking lot with only her car and theirs.

“yea, thank you so much. we honestly would’ve been deserted if it wasn’t for you- can i get your number? i’d love to hang out sometime!” the boys filled the car while nick stood outside with his new friend.

“of course!” she waited for him to pull up a new contact and verbalized her information. “i’ll see you, drive safely!” and with that she patted the drivers seat of her black toyota signaling kiwi to hop in, and went home with more than she came for.

meanwhile, the van was chaotic. matt and nate up front singing a song that came on, while nick interrogated chris.

“whats up with you? you haven’t said a word since we met y/n.”

he knew it too. he didn’t understand it thought. “i don’t know.. i’m fine.” nick could usually tell if he was lying, but this time it was unreadable. he let him off easily and went on his phone to text her about hanging out soon.

flashing forward to present day, chris had his mind made up. it all made sense why he acted that way. it was like his soul attached to her. he must stay focused though, so he denied, denied, denied.

she was at the triplets home. madi and nate were there too.

“we should make trevor and kiwi meet!” she suggested to matt who was laying next to her on the couch. his eyes lit up with kiwi cuddled to his chest.

“y’all are so obsessed with these dogs.” chris took a seat next to her listening in and placing his can of pepsi on the coffee table. his heart raced a bit when she looked him in the eyes. his remarks always came out defensive and ignorant. he couldn’t help it, he wasn’t used to this feeling and couldn’t make it obvious.

her on the other hand, thought he hated her. she grew aware of his personality but hers was naturally flirty and extroverted. he knew this as well. she was friendly with everyone. how was he supposed to know if she felt the same way?

“are you jealous that i like kiwi and trevor more than you?” she smirked. those eyes were the ones that made him nervous. the ones that drew him in every time.

his breathing caught in his throat, “nah..” he shook his head and reached for his drink to hide the smile plastered on his face.

she had an effect on him she had no idea about.

“so trevor’s going back to your parents during the tour..” she started indicating an idea that made matt excited and chris irritated. her and matt had a bond that was different from the others. they had a lot in common, something chris grew jealous of and tried to prevent in anyway possible.

it was his own fault though. he decided to stay quiet and let his fear of rejection control him. that could’ve been him in that position.

“absolutely not. we’re not bringing the dogs on tour, y/ n.” he assured sternly.

she shifted in her seat to face him, “chris! come on, i’ll be there to take care of them while you guys work, madi will be there too! right madi?” she motioned to the girl who was sat at the table with nick.

“don’t even try!” chris stated before madi could even speak.

“what’s wrong with that, i love kiwi and trevor!” madi disagreed with chris from the table.

“see its two against one!”

“three!” matt mumbled with kiwi licking at his face.

“don’t you want me to be happy?” she pouted and widen her eyes to tease him. he did want her to be happy, he was just being an asshole.

he looked into her eyes, the ones that made him fall too hard for her. almost stunned and lost for words he looked away, “whatever, fine.”

she squealed and hugged him tightly, shocking him in the process.

this was going to be a very long tour.

“okay- wait what if they fight?” she was holding kiwi tightly in her arms covered by a comfy sweater. they were currently loading the tour bus, situating their bunks, and trying to introduce the dogs.

matt was sitting on the floor with trevor in his lap.

“you said she was friendly with other dogs,”

“she is.. i just don’t want them to fight!” she gave in and sat on the floor with kiwi. chris came onto the bus to see what was going on. they had disappeared into the bus moments ago without telling anyone.

he stopped in his tracks and observed the scene.

she finally let kiwi down, sniffing the floor of the new area and approaching the other small dog. trevor did the same, eventually they began to smell each other to get familiar.

she spared a glance at matt who smiled in return. chris noticed this, his heart sank a bit. did she like him? he thought.

soon enough, kiwi and trevor were playing together after kiwi licked his nose.

“aww they love eachother!” she cheered and scooted forward to hug matt. a grunt was heard by the two, chris didn’t know he did that out loud.

“oh- chris, look!” pointing at the puppies, “let’s have them married.” she was playing around, he wasn’t having any of it.

“yea, we’re about to start moving so can you guys move?” once again, he didn’t mean for it to come off so abruptly. she frowned and picked up kiwi, pushing past him to get to the seats, trevor trailing behind her.

“dude, why you being so rude to her?” matt was genuinely curious, but it came off defensive. he loved her, but only as a friend. not like chris did.

“i’m not..” matt was about to just walk away, but he spoke again, “i just- matt?”

“yeah?” they stared at eachother.

“i think i’m in love with her.”

matt cheesed widely in excitement, chris took it the wrong way.

“no- you can’t tell her!”

that wasn’t even on his list, “i won’t. i’m just happy you can admit your feelings for once.” patting his brother on the shoulder and going to sit with the others.

in the bus, she sat next to madi. they were giggling at trevor chasing kiwi in a circle. nick was across from them scrolling through tiktok.

chris walked in, seeing the beautiful smile on her face light up the room. everyone noticed he walked in, he was more focused on her.

she glanced at him, the smile fading a bit.

“we’re moving, everyone sit! we don’t want any accidents.” a voice called out from the front of the bus, most likely the driver.

chris sat next to her on instinct. there was obvious tension.

“madi, look at this” nick motioned for her to sit next to him which she did. leaving the two to sit alone.

chris wasn’t one for apologizing, he wasn’t sure how. he had to say something though.

“you glad we brought the dogs?” that was his way of apologizing?

she was very forgiving to say the least. there’s been worse things he’d say to her. some of which made her go cry in the bathroom.

“very..”

silence. besides nick and madi scream-laughing across them.

“so- um, which state you most excited to see?” he was trying anything to start a conversation.

“oh- probably florida, i loved visiting there when i was younger,”

he didn’t know that though, he never took the time to get to know her for real. not like matt or nick did.

he was starting to hate himself for it. why couldn’t he just express himself correctly? it was a struggle for sure.

the bus made it to their first stop. everyone got out to stretch, matt and y/n letting the dogs use the bathroom.

they were away from the group, far enough for no one to hear their conversation.

“i’m so happy we brought them,” she started

“me too, not happy about this part though” he cringed at the sight of trevor using the bathroom that he would have to clean up.

“um.. can i ask you something?” she was comfortable enough with matt to have deeper talks, this was something she couldn’t get out of her mind.

“of course,”

she took a deep breath, “is chris like, mad at me.. or something? ever since we met he acts as if he hates me, do you see it too?”

after what chris told him earlier, it made sense. “no, no he doesn’t hate you,” he wasn’t sure how to word it in a way that wouldn’t out his brother. “that’s just how he is, but trust me he doesn’t hate you. we love you, y/n”

“i love you guys too.” his words were comforting, she felt some sense of relief. matt was always sweet to her, it was easy to get close with him. her mind still wandered to chris, there had to be more, right?

the rest of the ride was relaxed, for most of them atleast. madi and matt were asleep in the bunks, nick was sitting on a seat using his laptop.

chris was in a bunk, trying his best to sleep but his brain was wide awake. he didn’t know how he would manage going on tour with her, spending everyday with her, all with her being oblivious to his feelings that he couldn’t even let out correctly.

she was in the same room as nick, her head on his shoulder watching his skills as he edited a video for his business.

“hmm, i think i’m gonna go lay down before i go insane. you coming?” he shut the computer.

“i will in a minute..” she wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep this entire trip.

nick nodded and slid the door to the bunks open. she sat for a second, looking out the window to the starry sky blurring past. the lights were off leaving the only light casting from the window to dimly shine in the bus. the door slid open behind her, it was probably nick forgetting his phone before he left.

“y/n?” she turned to see the silhouette of chris.

she gulped unable to speak. “what you doing up?”

“i could ask you the same thing,” she said while he sunk into the spot next to her.

“can’t sleep..”

“me neither, are you nervous about performing?”

“why would i be?” he barked. there it was again.

“chris, am i supposed to read your fucking mind?” she even shocked herself, she was fed up with his attitude.

“i wish you could, maybe then you’ll understand how stupid you are!”

“seriously what’s wrong with you? why do you act like you hate me?!” she was a little too loud.

“what the hell is going on?” nick came from the sliding door, he hadn’t went to sleep yet and heard her shouting.

“nothing- mind your business!” nick looked like he was ready to tear chris apart.

she felt her face heat up, her eyes began to water. she got up and stormed to the back of the bus letting the tears flow. she couldn’t hold back.

“you better go apologize to her chris! i swear i’ll ruin this whole tour for you! if you have a problem with her than say that, she’s our best friend, even if she’s not to you.” he lectured him knowing how he treated her. everyone knew, they just didn’t see why.

chris sat there silently while nick went off. he didn’t even bite back. nick just stood there with his arms crossed waiting for chris to speak, move, anything.

“your right..” he whispered.

“what was that?”

“i said your right, damn.”

“that’s what i thought. now get to moving, i wanna go to bed, in peace!” nick emphasized. he waited for chris to get up and head to the back, following behind to go back in his bunk.

chris hesitated before sliding open the door to the back area of the bus. he heard sniffles from the other side, it felt like nick punched him in the chest before going to bed. he wasn’t aware he made her cry.

stepping into the small room, he saw her barley lit up from the moonlight and occasional passing car.

she looked up to see him, worried and a bit embarrassed. worried he would yell at her again. she didn’t like that he could make her crumble with such ease.

“y/n..” she hated when he said her name.

he sat next to her on the leather seat that was less spacious than the ones up front.

“don’t cry.. i-i’m sorry, okay?” he shocked himself making his body heat up. she wiped her nose with the soft sleeve of her sweater and turned to him.

“i don’t hate you, i don’t. i’m sorry for treating you wrong, i promise i’ll stop, okay?”

she nodded, feeling a smile creep on her puffy lips.

even in the dark, her smile lit up the room. he wrapped his arm around his shoulder and she embraced him tightly around his torso.

he loved the feeling. it was this easy? he thought. the flame grew with every second they touched, he wished it could last forever. but she pulled away and he craved it all over again.

“cmon, you need to sleep.” she got up indicating she was going to sleep before stopping. “goodnight, i love you.”

that. that almost broke him.

he knew it was platonic, she said it to all of them.

“goodnight.. i love you too.” but he meant it differently. she wouldn’t know that though.

“rise and shine, campers!”

kiwi and trevor were having a barking match trying to get to each other being too scared to jump off the bunk and waking everyone up.

“too early for you to be this energetic” madi groaned to nick while hopping down from her bunk.

“girl it’s 10am! we have a few hours till our first show!” nick exclaimed making his way off the bus. madi followed him.

the crew stopped to get breakfast before heading to the venue of the day.

“matt,” she poked at the sleeping boy in his bunk. “matt! wake up!”

he groaned, “what? where are we?” shuffling in the sheets.

“get up, we’re getting food. and you have to let trevor out!”

“it’s fine, i got it” chris came almost out of nowhere and picked up the small dog with the leash already in his hand.

her and matt both glanced at eachother confused before matt layed back down. she rolled her eyes playfully, her attention going back to chris who struggled with putting on the harness.

“trevor- stay still!”

she giggled and helped him after finishing with kiwi. maybe he was going to change after all.

“it’s time boys!” the triplets were at the venue backstage. they waited for the opening act to finish performing so they could go on.

“5 minutes till show time.” the crew member advised them to get ready to go on stage.

madi and y/n were backstage hyping them up. “you got this, you’ll do great! love you, have fun!” she hugged matt and nick as they left the stage room with madi, leaving her and chris alone.

“are you ready?”

he nodded and fixed his hair under his cap. “how do i look?”

“ugh, you never change, do you? you look fine!” she joked, smacking him on his chest. “okay, now go! they’re waiting for you!”

“alright, i’m definitely not stalling..”

“chris, you’ll do great! i love you so much, i’m so proud of you!” she was referring to all of them, but he took it personal. she embraced him in a hug- he was stunned. why couldn’t he move? something took over him, he just stared at her.

“i love you.” he whispered.

“good luck, chris.” she turned to grab kiwi from the floor, did she hear him?

“i love you, y/n.” he said it louder this time.

“i heard you, hun..”

he grasped her hand lightly before she could bend down to pick up her dog, making her face him. looking him in the eye.

“no, i don’t think you did- i love you.”

her expression was lost. “..what?

he couldn’t stop saying it. “i love you, y/n,” but he finally said the right one.

“i’m in love with you.”

can y’all tell i love animals yet or no

idk but tell him part three should be out soon stay tunedddd xoxo

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Hopeful

Soft! Jackson Joel Miller x Neurodivergant/ ADHD F!reader

Summary: Joel hasn't felt hopeful since before the outbreak, that is before he meets you when he arrives in Jackson. Hes falling for you, but you couldn't possible fee the same way, could you?

Soft! Jackson Joel miller x Neurodivergant\ ADHD reader AU

MDNI 18+ NSFW

Warnings: unspecified age gap (i wrote this with reader in her early 30s and Joel in is early 50s but no ages are specifically said) soft Joel, concerned Joel, protective Joel, Neurodivergant, audio overstimulation, anxiety. He falls first. Match maker Ellie. Smut. Oral (F! receiving) Fingering, heavy make out sessions. Joel's chatty. body imagine issues, low self-esteem. Swearing, dirty talk. Praise.

A/N: Man this story really got away from me! what i thought would be a short story turned out to be rather length but im proud as hell of this story and i hope you enjoy!

There’s not a lot of descriptors about reader other than eye color and mentions of curves/ plush but they can easily be changed.

Hopeful.

Hopeful wasn’t something Joel felt since before the outbreak. But when he met you, it started brewing slow and low just below the surface until he couldn’t deny it anymore, couldn’t push it away any longer. You made him feel hopeful.

“Dude if you stare much longer the whole town is gonna notice.” Ellie teases as she jabs Joel with her elbow.

“Oh stop it, I wasn’t staring”

“You’ve been looking at her for like 10 minutes, just go sit with her”

Joel turns away quickly feeling his face getting red. He thought he was doing a better job of keeping his fondness for you hidden. He figured there was no way you’d share the same feelings, why would you like a guy like him? Old, beat up, and someone the whole town talked about. He figured there just wasn’t any way.

“She don’t want me bothering her” Joel shrugs

“Im not lying when I say she asks about you when you haven’t been to the stables yet.”

A slight smile tugs at Joel’s lips, he always asks Ellie about you too.

“Go sit with her”Ellie nudges him

Joel let’s out a nervous sigh and makes his way over to your table.

You’re fully engrossed in your book that you don’t notice Joel standing there for a moment.

“Is this seat taken darlin’?”

You don’t even have to look to know it’s Joel, you’d know his voice anywhere.

You chuckle, looking up at him with that smile and those big beautiful hazel eyes he loved so much.

“What’s funny?”

“Unless Ellie and Dina are sitting with me, that seats never taken”

Joel frowns at your comment.

“You want some company? It ok if I sit?”

“I’d love some” you say trying not too seem to eager but your bursting with butterflies over Joel wanting to sit with you. Your smile happens automatically, like it always does with Joel.

You’d been fond of Joel since him and Ellie arrived in Jackson. Despite all the whispers about him in town, his presence always calmed you in a way nobody ever had, you couldn’t explain it even if you tried. You absolutely adored Ellie from the moment you met her, Joel always telling you she trusts you in a way he’s never seen before.

The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you both finish breakfast.

“Didn’t see you at the town dance last night”

“That’s because I didn’t go, you went?”

“Well Ellie and Dina wanted to go cause they’re always reading about dances in the diaries they find, so I went too. Plus Ellie’s always teasin’ me that I need to get out more”

“I don’t normally go to stuff like that, I’m too awkward and I don’t want people asking me to dance because they feel bad.”

“Now I’m sure there would be lots of people who’d like to dance with you” Joel has all he can do not to tell you he’d show up to dance with you everytime if he knew you’d be there.

“That’s really kind of you to say, but incase you haven’t noticed the people here don’t really know how to take me.”

“You headin to the stables?” Joel already knows the answer. He knows it’s not your day to work at the stables but he asks anyways because he doesn’t want the conversation to end.

“ No, today I’m working on getting the little town library set up, now that you and Tommy are finished building the shelves, I’d like to open it soon.”

“Y’need any help? I’m off my normal duties today”

“Oh no, it’s ok. You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to bother you on your free time”

“It’s really no trouble at all, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to help” Joel’s jokes, smiling at you.

Your laugh.

He’d give anything to hear your laugh over and over again.

“And I guess I wouldn’t accept if I didn’t want help and company” you teased back, trying to stifle the giggle that bubbles up.

She wants company, my company?

The two you you load up the first wagon full of books and wheel across the center of town to the little store front soon to be the The Jackson Town Library.

“Here we can unload them. Then I can keep making the trips back and forth with the cart while you set them up in the shelves”

“Sounds like a deal to me. Why don’t we make like 3-4 trips and stop for the day. Because if not we’re both the type of people to work on our whole day off.”

“You got yourself a deal sweetheart”

Joel can’t help but smile as he turns to make the second trip. There was just something about the way you made him feel at ease, that he couldn’t get over.

When Joel returned with the second load of books he found you and Ellie chatting as she was helping you.

“What was it like to have a birthday party and sleepovers?” Ellie asks you.

“What makes you ask that?” You ask chuckling a little.

“Well I’ve been reading about them in the people from before the outbreaks diaries but I never had either of them”

“They were fun for a lot of people, I um didn’t really have a lot of friends, so my birthday parties were always mostly family. And I only ever went to a few sleep overs. I was always so excited to be included when I got to go to them.”

It breaks Joel’s heart listening to you and Ellie talking. It wasn’t fair that Ellie never got to experience what life was like before the outbreak, never really getting a childhood. Hearing you talking about how hard and lonely your life was even as a child tore him up. You were different sure, but you had a heart of gold. You were so caring, always supporting everyone who needed something and all you wanted was love and care in return.

He wanted to be that person for you so badly, the one who made your heart soar with all the love and support you never had. To be the one to make you laugh on the good days and take you into his arms and take the pain away on the bad days.

He’s not sure exactly when he started to fall for you, but it was coming on faster and stronger by the day.

“My birthday is next weekend, could I have a birthday party?”

You looked up locking eyes with Joel

“Of course you can, we can throw you a birthday party Ellie” you smile at him as you answer.

We. She wants to help me throw a birthday party for Ellie? There’s no bounds to how wonderful and caring this woman is.

“ I of course want to invite you, Dina, Jesse, Ethan, uncle Tommy and Maria. Ooo can I have a sleep over?”

“No boys are sleeping over”

You can’t help but laugh at Joel’s abrupt response.

“Eww no of course not, but Dina and (y/n) could stay over couldn’t they?”

“ yes if they want to they are more then welcome”

“Oh this is awesome, I gotta go tell everyone!”

“Wait, shouldn’t you ask if (y/n) wants too?” Joel’s looking at you to gage your reaction

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

Ellie smiles wildly as she runs out of the store front.

——————————————————————

The day came for Ellie’s party, and you loaded up your wagon with all the supplies and headed over there early to help set up.

“Jesus you’ve got a lot of stuff, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble”

“I know but I really wanted to make this as special as I could for her. She deserves to have the experiences she never got too”

Your big heart made Joel’s soar, you were so kind and thoughtful.

“ I do have a big surprise for her, for all the kids really”

“Oh yea? What do you have up your sleeve?” Joel teases.

“So I went through some boxes that had been in the house in one of the closets. I never bothered to before because it’s not like I really have a lot of stuff so they weren’t in the way. But I wanted to see if there was anything I could use for Ellie’s party and man I hit the jackpot”

Joel just smirks and raises a eyebrow signaling you to continue.

“Well one I found another Will Livingston pun book, which she’s going to love and I found a Nintendo console with a bunch of game cartridges. I figured we could teach the kids how to play and then Ellie can keep it”

There it is again, we. Maybe I’m reading into this to much. But I can’t help but feel like she actually likes spending time with me.

“Shit, they’re all going to love it! Man I haven’t played with one of these in ages”

“Me either, I was never any good at them and the sounds drove me crazy”

Joel relished moments like this, when you pulled back the curtain you shielded yourself with and let him see you.

You sat there completely content and full of joy watching Joel teach the kids how to play each game before he joined you on the couch as they went crazy battling each other.

As the kids cheer and the Mario music blasts Joel looks over to see you struggling. Your eyes shut tightly, chest rising and falling quicker than normal

“Hey, want to have a drink in the kitchen?” Joel whispers as he places his hand lightly on your arm.

“Please” you whisper, embarrassed that Joel saw you like that.

You sit at the kitchen table while Joel takes out two glasses with ice and pours whiskey doubles into them.

“Everything alright darlin’?” Joel ask as he takes his seat sliding your glass over to you.

“Oh..yea..everything’s alright” you say staring down at the amber liquid. Embarrassment flooding your system.

“I ain’t gonna push you if you don’t want to talk and I know I probably ain’t your first choice of someone to talk to, but just know you can talk to me.”

Joel desperately wants to know about your struggles, what makes you the way you are. He wants to be the one that helps you through life, the one who makes the bad days good and the good days better. But he pushes aside the thoughts that you’d want to be more than just friends, if you even considered him that. Because after all why would a girl like you like someone like him, could he really be that lucky?

You think about your answer for a few beats, and realize there’s no use trying to lie to Joel. There was just something about Joel that was comforting, that made you feel safe, but in a different way than the way you felt with Tommy you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

“No its not at all like that. I like talking to you.” You don’t miss the way Joel’s eyes light up a little.

“It’s just….I usually just retreat into myself, it’s easier that way. Most people don’t want to hear about my weird issues that can’t be solved with a why don’t you just ignore it?, why can’t you just change? Can’t you be a little less weird?” You said with a defeated shrug.

You wanted to talk to Joel, but part of you hoped he would just change the subject and move on. Because your quiet sure he doesn’t actually want to hear about your ADHD and all the weird idiosyncrasies that came with it.

“Well I’m not most people” he drawled as he lightly touched your arm. Nodding his head to encourage you to continue.

Truthfully he wanted to hear anything you wanted to tell him, Joel wanted to be your comfort point, the person that you went to for anything. To be the person you felt the safest with, to let your tired shoulders relax from holding up that wall around yourself. Letting your true self shine, free from judgement and surrounded by the love you deserve.

“I have sensory issues, especially with audio and textures. It’s hard to explain and it’s been along time since anyone wanted me too, so bare with me because some of this isn’t going to make a whole lot of sense.”

“You take all the time you need sweetheart, there no rush or pressure. I’m here for you”

Joel can’t help but notice your eyes soften and body langue relax a little when you realize he’s got you, that he’s hear for you and truly listening.

“I get overwhelmed easily by a lot of sounds happening at once, like in there with the sounds of the game and all the yelling and cheering at the same time makes my brain feel scrambled up. Like I can’t sort any of it out, it just sounds like one big mixing bowl of sounds. And when that happens I get anxious, my heart starts to pound, my ears ring and sometimes I lash out coming off to aggressive in the moment to try and make it stop.”

“ you’ve been around enough at the stables, you’ve probably heard me come on a little to strong with a razor sharpe tongue when it all gets to much. I always feel so bad, I never mean to snap. But sometimes when it’s so overwhelming it’s like I have no control of my tongue and I just blurt it out before I even realize I’m saying anything.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Ask me anything you’d like and I’ll do my best to answer”

“I don’t want this to come out wrong, I’m realizing now this might sound a little weird. But I’ve noticed you fuss with your clothes, like your pulling them away from your skin constantly, is-is that part of the sensitivity?”

You can’t help but look at Joel for a few beats to long, stunned by his question. Not because of the way he worded it but because of the context of his question, that fact that he’s picked up on your discomfort and is curious about it instead of just asking why you can’t just deal with it like everyone else ever has.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean t’make you uncomfortable” Joel says taking your silence as a bad sign.

“No, you didn’t at all. I just got lost in the thought of you being so observant but always wanting to know.”

“I always want to ask if your alright but I never want to pry, I know you like your space”

You can’t help the smile that dances across your face.

“You can ask me anything Joel, if I’m not comfortable answering I’d tell you.”

“But yes, the clothing thing is part of it. The texture of some fabrics against me make me want to crawl out of my skin. It’s hard sometimes for me to fall asleep too because the way the blankets and sheets touch my skin doesn’t feel right. I know it’s weird, I can’t really explain it.”

“It’s not just with clothing or fabric either, it’s physical touch too, which is the worst to get people to understand. I hate being touched, the feeling of most people touching me makes my skin crawl. And they love to brush it off by being like oh well I’m a huggy person or oh I’m just a touchy person so it’s ok.”

“I’m sorry, I know Ellie hugs you all the time and I know I touched you earlier”

“See now this is the most frustrating and complicated part about this. There are people like you, Ellie and Tommy that are in my bubble that I’m comfortable with, that I trust, that that kind of contact is welcome from.”

She likes when I touch her? Am I a welcome presence for her? I’ll drive myself crazy thinking about this too hard, but maybe just maybe she’s trying to tell me she feels the same as I do?

“Then the flip side of it is that there are also sounds that bring me so much comfort, like songs that I could listen to on repeat without batting an eye. The sound of someone’s voice that brings me back to earth when the anxiety is unrelenting. A scent that soothes me beyond explanation.”

Joel can’t help but let his thoughts run wild, indulging in the thought that you might be talking about him. He’s about to ask about your comment when Ellie barges into the kitchen.

“Oh sorry to interrupt” she says when she realizes you two are deep in conversation.

“Oh no it’s ok, you probably just saved me from really embarrassing myself” you chuckle

Joel doesn’t miss the way you stiffen up, as if you feel like you’ve said to much.

“ I’m ready to watch my birthday movie but I’m also really ready for the guys to leave so it’s just the four of us, could you kick them out?”

“ course I can do that, we’ll be right in”

You quickly get up from the table to follow after Ellie.

“Hang on, sweetheart” Joel says softly as he reaches for your arm.

“Can-can I give you a hug? Or rather would you like a hug?”

You can feel the embarrassment really take hold as you pull your eyes to the floor. He had no idea how much you wanted a hug from him and you had no idea how badly he wanted to hug you.

“I would like that” you said meekly as you nod your head. If Joel wasn’t listening intently, hanging on your every word he would of missed it

He takes a few steps closer to you hesitating for a couple beats before he wraps his arms you.

As if you’d been waiting for this moment, your entire body relaxes under his touch. Joel can’t help but notice they way you bury your head into his chest as you wrap your arms around him tighter. The way you stay there in his arms for longer than he expects, like your completely at ease in this moment.

“Thank you….thank you for listening. For letting me talk.” You whisper

“Thank for trusting me, for letting me in” he whispers back.

——————————————————————

It had been a few months since Ellie’s birthday party and Joel couldn’t help but boil over with happiness at seeing more of you. You started coming around often and listening to him play guitar on the porch after your walks with Ellie. You started joining them for family meals more in the mess hall, though Joel couldn’t tell you he called them that- not yet anyway.

Because honestly he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to decide he wasn’t the type of person you wanted to spend alot of time with. It’s why he didn’t press you on wether or not you were coming to his birthday gathering at the tipsy bison tonight that Tommy was putting together. He didn’t want you to feel pressured.

You slip into the dimly lit tipsy bison about 45 minutes before Joel’s party is supposed to end. You were so nervous to come, that it took alot for you to actually leave the house. You realize as you slip into a table in the dark back corner that you also forgot his present at home too.

Somethings seriously wrong with me when I remember to bring my security book and not this man’s damn present.

You scan the room and see Joel and Tommy talking to a few people at the bar. Nervous about interrupting you open up your book and try to block out all the loud chatter.

Joel scans the small crowd hoping to see you when he over hears Caleb talking to Tommy.

“Why would she come to something like this if she’s not going to speak to anyone?”

Joel follows Caleb’s motion, feeling a tugging in his chest when he lays eyes on you. You’re sitting in the dark corner of the Tipsy Bison hunched over your book, rubbing your finger back and forth on the cover. Something Joel picked up on that you do when your anxious as a way to sooth yourself.

“Sorry we can’t all be rays of fucking sunshine like you” Joel hears Ellie snap back as he’s making his way over to you.

The closer he gets to you the more his heart pounds. When was the last time I ever felt like this if ever. Joel doesn’t know when it started happening but he can’t fight it any longer, he’s falling for you hard and fast like a fright train. You consume his every thought, which terrifies the hell out of him but he can’t turn back now, not even if he tried.

“Hey there sweetheart, you came” for one fleeting moment Joel feels nervous, maybe you don’t want to be bothered because after all you didn’t even tell him you were here. But that all melts away the moment you look at him. The smile that touches your eyes, the shimmer of happiness that dances across your face.

“Hey!”

“It ok to join you?”

“Of course, I’d love that. As long as I’m not taking your time away from anyone else?”

“There isn’t one person in here I’d rather talk to”

The way you beam up at him as you quickly but your book back in you’re bag says it all. This is another sign of yours that Joel’s picked up on, you only do this when you’re comfortable and want to talk to someone. You always do this when you see him, he trys so hard not to read into that but at this point it’s impossible.

The two of you sit and talk for a bit. You can’t help but be consumed by all things Joel when you were around him, and you loved that. The way he looked at you like you were the only other person in the world or the way he made you feel when ever he was near was both to much snd not enough. Your feelings for him charging full steam ahead, there’s no way you’d stop them even if you had the option.

But could he really feel the same?

“Well I should go I don’t want to take you away from your friends to long”

“Oh, let me walk you home”

“No no it’s ok, I’ll be alright, it’s your party” you say frowning, not wanted to inconvenience him in any way.

“Sweetheart…I can promise you most these people ain’t here for me”

You pause for a few beats

“Ok, in that case I’d love that” unable to control the sincere wild smile that dances across your lips at the thought of Joel Miller walking you home.

“Um ah- would you like to come in for a minute? I ah have a gift for you but I forgot it when I left for your party” you smile sheepishly up at Joel as you reach your little house.

“You have a gift for me?”

“Yea…I made you a birthday present”

Joel follows you inside your house, and instantly the scent of you is filling his senses. He watches as your disappear down the hall and into a room, unsure if he can follow you mixed with not wanting to scare you has him staying in the kitchen.

“Here it’s not much, but I wanted to do something” you say nervously handing him the small gift wrapped in a scrap piece of fabric.

You lean back against the counter as Joel takes the gift, unwrapping the corded string holding the fabric around the gift like wrapping paper.

You’re overcome with anxiety watching him, making it near impossible to look at him. What if he doesn’t like it? What if it’s to much? Joel doesn’t miss the way your fidgeting around nervously.

As Joel pulls back the last fold of fabric he reveals a smallish leather bound note book. As he turns it over in his hands the light catches right for him to notice stitched into the cover in a slightly different colored string than the leather is his name.

“You made this for me? Christ it must of taken forever” Joel asks as he runs this fingers over the the letters.

“D-do you like it? I hope it’s not to much?” You say sheepishly, retreating into yourself as your wrap your arms around yourself.

“No no, it ain’t like that. I love it, I’m just surprised you took the time to make something for me of all people.”

“It took me about two months to do, because I worked on it when I had the energy after rounds at the stables. But I wanted to do something special for you, because.. well because your special to me. When I heard you saying your note book for your patrol and maintenance notes was almost full I got the idea to make this without knowing how to go about it”

“Nobody’s ever done anything like this more me before. Is it ok if I give you a hug sweetheart?”

When Joel takes you into his arms he expects you to be tense before you relax like the few times before,but not this time. No this time was different, this time you melted under his touch immediately burying your face in his chest. He can’t help but think maybe you’ve been needing his touch, his comfort as much as he needs yours.

You feel him pull back from the hug, making you painfully aware you held on to him for a few beats to long. You’re anxiety takes over as you pull back, you’re gaze dropping to the floor immediately.

“Sorry. Sorry, I made that weird”

“Give yourself some credit sweetheart, you never make anything weird. I just wanted to look at you, that’s all”

Pulling your gaze back up, your met with his beautiful deep brown eyes. They’re filled with a soft tenderness as he reaches up caressing the curve of your cheek.

Joel’s large warm hand comes to cup the side of your face, smoothing his calloused thumb back and forth over your cheek bone. His heart thunders in his chest when you lean into his touch, looking more free than he’s ever seen you. Almost as if you’re letting him see a glimpse of yourself from before the world fell apart. He also sees a lightness in your body language that he only notices when the two of you are together.

His eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes a few times, trying to search for any fear or discomfort.

Fuck it.

Your eyes flutter closed as Joel’s lips connect with yours in a soft and tender kiss. Your mind in desperately trying to process everything as Joel takes your stillness as hesitation and pulls away at the exact moment you brain catches up.

“Sorry I misre-“

“Wait, Do it again” you whisper

Joel grabs both sides of your face as he lowers himself back down connecting with your soft lips again. Only this time you don’t hesitate, you return the kiss as you bring your hands to loop round his neck, your fingers sinking into the hair at the nape of his neck. Joel skims his hands down your sides resting them on your hips, a action that makes you gasp as you tilt you’re head up.

“Is this ok?” He whispers as he pulls back enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“Yes” you whisper back, running your fingers deeper into his dark graying hair. This action unlocks something deep inside Joel as he hooks his one hand around your lower back and the other around the back of your head pulling you closer to him. When you resume kissing it’s more passionate and frantic than before and as Joel licks along the seam of your bottom lip begging for entrance you tilt your head up immediately allowing him to deepen the kiss. As your warm wet tongues dance together the grip you two have on each other tightens. Neither of you wanting to show the other how terrified you both are of the other slipping through your fingers if you not holding on for dear life.

As you both pull back to catch your breath you can’t help the giggle that escapes you.

“I guess it’s safe to say you liked your present?”

“It’s safe to say I like more than just the present sweetheart”

He can’t possibly be saying what I think he’s saying can he?”

“I’d invite you to watch a movie but I moved the only tv into the bedroom because it helps me sleep alone and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”

What I wouldn’t give to spend every night next to her. I never want her to feel alone.

“I’d be more than comfortable with that but only if you are”

Christ I could get lost in the big hazel eyes of hers.

“I honestly would love that” youre trying to hide your smile not wanting to come off too eager but it’s impossible.

You lead the way to your bedroom, once inside you gesture to the bed, “you can pick the movie and make your yourself comfortable I’ll be right back.”

You beeline it for the bathroom, splashing some water on your face and looking at yourself in the mirror. You take a few deep breaths trying to tamp down the anxiety.

Did I really just invite Joel Miller to watch a movie with me in my bed and he accepted? When did I get so bold?

Making your way back to the bedroom you see Joel sitting up with his back against the wall with the few pillows against the wall next to him.

The way your smiling at him makes him feel like it’s just you and him in this world, I feeling that nobody has ever given him before.

“Why don’t you have any pillows you rest your back on?” You say as you settle in next to him.

“I just want to make sure your comfortable, I’ll be fine”

You laugh, that beautiful laugh Joel has come to love so much.

“Well I certainly don’t need all of these, you should be comfortable too” you say as you hand him a couple.

Joel absolutely melts at this action. It speaks volumes to him that your advocating for his comfort as well as your own without even thinking about it or being asked too.

As he’s settling back against the pillows Joel notices you rolling one of your shoulders back as it’s it’s bothering you.

“You alright sweetheart? I’ve been noticing you rolling youre shoulder a lot this week, it botherin’ you?”

“Oh yea… it’s fine, I just tweaked it at the stables. Shimmers stables doors been sticking and the saddles are a little high for me sometimes, but it’s fine. I just gotta go easy on it for a bit”

Joel feels a wave of concern mixed with anger, but not with you with himself.

I should of asked sooner, she shouldn’t be getting hurt at work because of something I could of helped fixed. I need to go down there and fix something.

“ let me take a look at it sweetheart”

You’re embarrassed, your sure he thinks your the biggest idiot as you turn facing your back to him.

“Where does it hurt?”

“It hurts kind of along my shoulder blade”

Joel starts feeling along your shoulder blade applying light pressure.

“Ugh right in there” you quietly groan

“It’s a little swollen, maybe a pinched nerve…I could rub it, try to work it out for y’ou if you’d be comfortable with that.”

“Wait…really?”

“Please don’t feel like you have too, it’s ok”

“It’s no trouble sweetheart”

Joel helps you settle back between his legs as he slips his hand into the neck of your shirt messaging his thumb along your shoulder.

Joel doesn’t miss the relaxed sigh you breath out as your eyes get heavy and you slowly fall back until your back is completely flush again his chest, your head on his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around you tightly, looking down to see you completely asleep in his arms. He leans down softy placing a kiss on your forehead. Warmth slowly creeps up his spine, over his shoulders and deep into his chest. This is what safety feels like, you- are what safety feels like. Joel doesn’t have to have his walls up with you. He can relax, let his guard down, not have to be in a constant state of fight or flight around you. The more Joel let’s this realization consume him, the heavier his eyes get and before he can stop it he starts dozing off.

He snaps awake 10 minutes later to the feeling of you squirming in his arms followed by the sounds of mumbles and whimpers in your sleep. You cry out briefly before you roll over, clutching him with your head buried in the crook of his and your chest flush against his own. Joel can feel your heart pounding against his chest.

“Shhhh baby girl it’s ok, I got you. You’re with me. Your safe” Joel speaks softly rubbing his hands up and down your back.

The moment you hear his voices, the tension drains from your body and your cry’s stop as you fully relax against him.

“Don’t leave me please…I need you ” you’re soft voice speaks against his neck

Joel holds you tightly, unable to shake the memory of you telling him that someone’s voice was soothing to you, that it made you at ease when ever you heard it. He’s 100% confident that you were talking about him.

“Im not goin’ anywhere sweetheart” Joel says as he squeezes you tighter and kisses the crown of your head.

Your so incredibly raw and vulnerable in the moment as you look up at him, your eyes swirling with comfort mixed with fear as you sleepily sit up.

——————————————————————

The next time Joel opens his eyes it’s early morning, your curled up to him, your head on his chest. He can’t help but think he won the lottery. The idea that a women like you would take comfort in him, that you’d want him by you’re side. Joel will make it his mission to make sure you never feel alone again, that he’s by your side for the rest of your life. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you in his life because he sure as hell didn’t feel like he deserved it.

Joel’s pulled from his thoughts by you sleepily stretch and sitting up. His hand is firmly on your lower back keeping you steady.

“You sleep ok?” He asks slipping his hand under your shirt to rub your lower back.

“I don’t think I’ve slept that deeply since before the outbreak, I’ve never really been a good sleeper”

Christ she’s so beautiful first thing in the morning, givin’ me that cute sleepy smile as she tells me how she slept well next to me.

“Where you able to sleep?”

I can’t tell her I slept better than I have In 20 something years.

“I did get some sleep”

“You hungry? We could go grab Ellie and get breakfast in the mess hall”

Ellie. Fuck I have no idea if any of this is ok with Ellie. I can’t do this to her. I don’t want to drive a wedge between her and Joel or her and I. She’s been though enough I don’t want her to think I’m trying to break up there family.

“ Oh, no it’s ok. You go a head I’m sure you and Ellie have stuff to do today” you say as you you stiffen to sit up straight, the feeling of panic crashing in like a wave.

“No it’s no trouble at all, she should just be over Dina’s anyway” Joel feels your body going ridged, he can tell by your eyes that somethings changing.

“ I have so much to do at the library still before it can open, I’m really not hungry. I’ll just grab something before breakfast ends.” You say swinging your legs over the side of the bed and hurriedly looking for clean clothes.

Joel feels it, he sees it your body langue that somethings wrong. He doesn’t know what flipped the switch but he’s desperate to fix it.

“You should take it easy on your shoulder, rest it so it don’t get worse”

Your body relaxes, your eyes softening briefly at him being protective, showing concern for your health before going ridged again.

“I promise I’ll go easy on my shoulder, I just desperately need to get some projects done. Everyone’s counting on me to get it done and open soon.” Your voice sounds strained and pleading like your trying to convince yourself and much as you are him that you believe what your saying.

“Can I at-least walk you there?”

The walk into town was quiet, neither of you saying much. Just the silent sound of you both battling your own inner self doubt.

“You sure you don’t want breakfast?”

“I’m sure….I’m not very hungry” your voice is soft and strained, almost as if your trying to hold back tears.

Joel cups your face pulling your gaze up to meet his.

“You let me know if you need anything sweetheart, can’t have you hurtin’ your shoulder worse.” Joel drawls before leaning in, closing the gap and placing a soft kiss to your lips. You return the kiss briefly as you run your fingers over his patchy beard.

“I promise I’ll go easy on myself”

Joel can’t shake the feeling that somethings wrong. You never skip breakfast because you get very hangry if you don’t eat in the morning.

Did I scare her? Did I move to fast? Did I make her uncomfortable in some way?

It hits Joel like a ton of bricks as he turn onto his street.

Ellie. She’s worried about how Ellie will feel about us. She’s worried it will drive a wedge between her and I or with them.

Joel stops up the steps and frantically grabs his tool bag.

“Your to old to be staying out all night and then doing a terrible job sneaking back in the next morning” Ellie teases behind Joel.

“I gotta do some extra work in the work shop and at the stables but when your done with your green house shift, we need to talk”

Joel’s never had a way with words like most people, he’s never been eloquent speaker. His love language more came in the form of acts of severance or in words of affirmation. He spends the next few hours building a safe sturdy step stool for the saddles, fixing not just Shimmers stable door but all the horses stables doors so none of them had the possibility to stick and tinkering around and fixing up anything he could find.

You stay at the library for several hours trying completely the simplest tasks, but without much success. Your just going through the motions as your mind is a mile away, thinking about Joel.

Resigning to the fact that you were getting nothing done, you decided to go home to take a hot shower to sooth your racing mind.

As the hot water streams over your body and the steam fills your lungs your mind drifts to Joel. You haven’t stopped thinking about how you can still feel his lips on yours. How he makes you feel seen and heard without any judgement what so ever.

Youre heart aches from how deep your feelings for Joel go, even if it feels like you don’t deserve having him in your life. But you need to apologize to him for how abruptly you retreated back into yourself when the feelings felt to real this morning.

Joel’s nursing a glass of whisky when Ellie gets back from her shift at the green house.

“What’s up Joel, everything alright?”

“Yea, nothin’ bad I just, I like someone and wanna talk about it”

“Oh congrats, your getting soft in your old age. Did you finally become friends with your horse”

“Jerk, no I like a woman. I like a woman, I wanna date her. But are you ok with that?”

“Your so bad at this, why are you being so awkward?”

“We’ll Christ, I’ve never done this before, had this kind of talk. I never brought anyone around Sarah. I don’t know what I’m doing”

“Wait… is this about Y/N?”

Joel nods cautiously

“Man you really are dense aren’t you?” Ellie playfully pokes.

“What’s so funny?”

“Joel.. I’ve been trying to set you up with her since we got here. Tommy’s been helping too”

“What? Really? You’re ok with it?”

“You guys are perfect for each other, it’s so obvious you two really care about each other, at least it is too me because I get to spend time with you guys together away from everyone else.”

Joel just stairs at her stunned

“Look I never wanted to admit this because it sounds stupid, but the times when it’s just you, me and her…it’s feels like we’re a family, like I actually have the family I’ve been dying to have my whole life. She got to know us and excepted us the way we are without listening to all the whispers around town and I think that’s fucking beautiful.”

“I gotta go see her”

“I swear to god Joel don’t fuck this up, she’s the happiness we both deserve, but yes, go to her, go right now”

Joels out of the house and down the street before his brain catches up.

Your scrambling around the house trying to get dressed as fast as you can before you get to anxious and decide not to go to Joel’s when you hear a knock at the door.

“The book drop off box is on the porch” you yell down the hall, figuring someone was trying to pick up or drop off books they borrowed since you weren’t at the library. But you hear who ever is is knock again.

“The book pick up is also on the porch” you yell again hoping the person hears you and gets the point,but they do it yet again. Completely flustered at this point you rip your shirt down over you head and pad angrily to the door.

“The book drop off and pick…” you aggressively swing the door open, stoping dead in your tracks at who’s on the other side.

“Joel” you whisper in surprise. All you can do is stare for a few beats to long at how the evening light highlights his already beautiful features.

“Sorry, this a bad time sweetheart?”

“No…sorry I just thought you were someone else”

You immediately pick up on his change In body langue and quickly follow up with “I just thought it was someone trying to pick up or drop off books” you watch as he relaxes right away again.

“I…I um was actually on my way over to your place”

Before either if you know it your smashing together in a kiss like two magnet’s. The kiss is all teeth and tongues, it’s desperate and awkward, messy and beautiful. Your both clutching on to each other like the other might fly away as Joel walks you backwards through the door way as he pushing the door closed with his foot.

As you both pull back for air Joel cradles your face with his large hands, caressing your cheek bones with the rough pads of his thumbs. His deep brown eyes lock with you hazel ones ands it’s as if they rest of the world doesn’t exist, like it’s only the two of you left on earth.

“I’m so sorry about this morning, I wasn’t trying to be weird. I-I I just…I scared myself with everything”

“It’s ok sweetheart” Joel says as he kisses you softly.

“I talked to Ellie, she’s ok with us being a thing. Honestly quiet excited about it”

You’re speechless for a moment, as you eyes start to well with tears.

“Joel, you didn’t have to do that, I’m sorry if you felt like you had too”

“I did have too, because it’s important to me”

“It’s…it’s important to me that you did”

At hearing that Joel lunges forward again capturing your lips in a kiss pulling you flush against his chest. He swallows the gasp that escapes your lips when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth. You snake your arms around his neck tugging the hair at the nape of his neck. The growl that, that action elicits vibrates through your chest.

“Bedroom?” Joel grits out, his deep voice drips with desire mixed with love.

Joel can’t convince himself otherwise any more, he loves you.

“Bedroom” you echo

Joel’s walking you backwards down the hall to your bedroom when he turns slightly pinning you against the wall just outside your bedroom.

“Are you sure about this sweetheart?” He pulls back just enough to lock eyes with you.

You nod your head yes.

“I need to hear you say it sweetheart. I don’t want to push you farther than your comfortable going because i thought it was ok.”

“I’m sure about this Joel, I want it…I want you”

Joel let’s out a low groan as he attaches his lips to your jaw, nipping his way long it until he reaches that soft spot where your jaw meets your neck. He sucks hard and then soothes the spot with his tongue as his hands sneak inside the hem of your shirt squeezing your plush sides. This earns him another tug at his hair as you let out a whimper. Joel’s head spins from how breathless you are already for him and he hopes you can tell how breathless he is for you.

Joel rips his shirt off at the feeling of you raking your hands up and down his chest. He’s been touched starved for so long that the desperate need for your touch, to feel your skin on his takes over.

Most people wouldn’t describe Joel as beautiful, but you always found him to be. You thought as you took in the sight of him shirtless.

Joel watches you nervously as you trace over old scars on his chest. He’s afraid you’ll want to run and hide from him bearing his soul to you in a way he never has or ever wanted too. But the moment you press your lips to the scars on his chest this worry melts away. You pepper every scar you can see across his chest, arms and shoulders with kisses before you make your way to his neck. You sneak your hands around him to slide them up his back as you reach his ear.

“Every part of you is beautiful” you whisper as you kiss along his jaw.

Joel feels dizzy from your words as your lips make it back to his. Never in his life has anyone ever called him beautiful much less been this tender and sensual with him. He can’t get enough, as he grabs at your waist again. Pulling you tightly to him as he presses you firmly again the wall causing your shirt to ride up.

“It’s ok… you can take it off” you breath

Joel wastes no time ripping your shirt up over your head.

“Your so fuckin’ gorgeous” he growls as you arch into him so he can unhook your bra.

You let the straps slide down your arms until it falls to the floor between the two of you. You’re mind goes blank from Joel’s intense gaze. Slowly he slides his hands up your torso to your breasts. They barely even touched you and your nipples are already hardened peaks. The sensation of him rolling them beneath his slightly calloused thumbs as he’s squeezing your breasts hits you hard. Your eyes flutter shut as your head falls back against the wall, if your not carful you might just climax from this alone.

“Fuck…your skins so soft” Joel growls as he pulls you away from the wall and into your bedroom, not stopping until your legs hit the end of your bed.

His eyes burn right through you as you slid your pants down, leaving yourself in just your panties as you climb on the bed.

The two of you hold each others gaze for a few beats as Joel undoes his belt and steps out of his pants. You instinctually spread your legs to make room for him as the bed dips down. He doesn’t care how long he has to draw this out, Joel’s not stopping until he’s explored every inch of your body. Making you feel like the goddess that he sees you as.

Your eyes flicker from his eyes to his hard outline straining his boxers and back to his eyes. The way he playfully smirks at you makes you realize just how exposed you are to him, making you start to wrap your arms around your body to cover yourself.

“You ok sweetheart?” Joel asks rubbing circles into your thighs.

“Do you want me to cover up some?”

“What?”

“Wait why would I want you to cover up?” He half huffs, confused

“Im not the skinniest…I don’t look as good as you”

Joel hates the idea that someone(s) made you feel like you weren’t worthy because your body isn’t their ideal body. He’s loves your curves, the plushness of your skin.

“Everything about you is gorgeous, and if it s’ok id like to show you just how gorgeous I think you are.”

You frantically nod and with that Joel dips his body down kissing right above your clothed clit, pulling a whimper out of you. He then moves to your hips, kissing them both before kissing all the way up your stomach til he reaches your breasts.

He licks along the swell of your breast, pulling your peaked nipple in between his teeth as he palms the other one with his free hand. Then does the same to the other.

“So fuckin’ sexy” Joel whispers against your breast as he swings his leg over to straddle one of your legs.

He crashes forward, his rock hard bulge pressing into your hip to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. Your hands automatically plant firmly in his hair as his tongue dances with yours. Making his way down your neck sucking the soft skin where your shoulder meets your neck between his teeth, then sooth it with his tongue. You know it’s going to leave a mark, you want it too. Even if this is just for tonight, you want Joel to mark you as his. But you had no idea how much he wants that too. To make you his.

Joel plunges his tongue back into your mouth as he dips his free hand where you need it most. His finger grazes your clit has he slips it through your slit, deep into your core with a audible squelch. You both swallow each others moans.

A breathy moan escapes your lips as he gathers some of your wetness to your swollen clit with tight circles.

“Christ baby…y’so wet. This all from me?” Joel breathes, as you pull back. He wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you.

“All day…a-always” you breath unable to get more out.

“Fuck” Joel groans as he pulls down your panties, seating himself back between your legs.

“Fuck..baby you feel s’good around my fingers”

Joel’s trusts his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace.

“J-Joel…it’s feels s-s good” you say through a stifled whimper.

“Don’t hold back baby. Lemme hear ya. Wanna hear how good I make you feel.” Joel purrs as he’s stroking that soft spongy spot so well.

Your climax crashes over you like a wave against a rocky coast. You couldn’t stop even if you tried.

“Fuu- J-Joel…it feels so good”

“Thats it baby let go”

You clench around his fingers perfectly as you fall over the edge.

“Doin’ so good for me sweetheart. Soundin’ so beautiful.”

Joel leaves a trail of kisses and praise in the valley between your breasts and down your stomach.

“Can I taste you sweetheart?” He growls as he nips at the insides of your thighs. Pupils blows wide open when you lock eyes with him.

“Please” you whine

Joel gives a few kitten licks up your center to watch you squirm, then dives in like a starved man eating his last meal. You thrusted your hips forward grinding into his face desperately chasing anything he’ll give you. Joel’s harder than he’s ever been before, head dripping with pre-come at the feeling of you grinding on his face to chase your release.

He’d give you this every single day if you’d let him. He doesn’t even care about his own release. He could drown in between your legs and die a happy man seeing the pleasure he gives you from his tongue on your face.

Tag List:

@vee-bees-blog @vie-is-punk @musings-of-a-rose-writes @iamsherlocked-1998 @frecklefacelm @thatoneobsessedlinguist-writes @alyhull @sj66 @merci-killing @whenmondaycomes @ellishamae25 @romabloo @jennaispunk @elizabeth4th @runningmom94 @closetedconsumer @alongfortheridereader @thegingerlily @starlite41 @sirensheartbeat-blog @pedropascalfan221 @vivian-pascal @mads198-9 @f1shb0nez @almodovarispunk @pedroslittlelady @collection-of-fucking-chaos @megjohnston23 @pascalispunks-blog @skully-skeleton-bone0106

@peanutweanut @joelalorian @mssalmighty @mountainsandmayhem @zipp7201 @folkloreandfall @steadydragongalaxy @ceceliamariee @starrynight57-blog

@nahchiefimgood @i-love-taylor @hc-geralt-23 @hopelessromantic727 @casispunk @ctrlaltdel3te @drewharrisonwriter @teddyitalia @mexicanfolklore

@enchantingfireduck @thatwierdgirlmaddi-blog @art-estrange @amy

@chiefevelyn @niallsblckgirlfriend @unnecesarysstuff @horses1012ans @morgaussy @jellybeanxc @stxory @lavenderallergy8 @sj66 @spacecowgirl1111 @tupelomiss @hauntedpoetsdepartment @aromanticfever @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @sweetperfectioncloud @honeymarvel @samarav @is-being-ignored-a-hobby @elliaze @kjo770 @amyispxnk

[lunarmoves]

Can't stop thinking of the scenario where y/n leaves the Pizzaplex feeling like Sun honestly wanted them gone, and Sun becomes obsessed with finding them and also leads a robot apocalypse. What would happen if y/n caught wind that Sun is looking specifically for them and seeing all that has happened with the robots takes that as "Oh no, I thought he tolerated me but turns out he dislikes me so much he personally wants to get rid of me himself" so they try extra hard to go into hiding out of fear of what will happen if they're captured and taken to him?

ohhh my goddd nonnie u are so big brained!!!!!!! thank u for sending this in bc honestly i have also been thinking about this au for a while LMAO. if i was strong enough i would write a 50k fic spliced into two arcs (im thinking about it so hard u have no idea!!!!!!) for this but alas.... /stares at my incomplete wips/ i am not </3

(added in from future shay: what have u done nonnie this became so much longer than i'd intended, u basically get the whole fic outline here. cw for death and murder n stuff, typical fnaf. also spoilers for a fic i may or may not write?? like. this is me brainstorming and shoving all my ideas here lol. literally all of them)

okay so... let us set the stage a little bc i can't help myself. arc1 of this hypothetical fic would of course involve the pizzaplex where reader and sun get "closer" over the course of like a year. maybe more. well sun feels close to you. you, on the other hand, do not. why would you? this robot has been so passive aggressive with you and though it seems like he's nice enough to you (in comparison to the other humans), you really don't like how he treats you some days. what he says about humanity as a whole. you can't help it! yeah humanity sucks sometimes and robots were built to be everything that humans aren't, but he can't generalize in the way that he does at times and forget that these are people!! with feelings and ambitions and dreams! 'superiority complex' doesn't even begin to cover his issues, gahh!!

(the fact that he's been treated like absolute shit, working in the daycare does not help whatsoever. the mean parents, the kids who don't listen to him, the staff tht does the bare minimum on him in terms of maintenance because he's the daycare robot and not one of the glamrocks. it grinds his gears)

i imagine the reader in this fic believes that robots are indeed sentient, which is why you try to get sun to recognize and acknowledge his own emotions/feelings (which he vehemently denies, even tho there are literal riots happening worldwide regarding robot sentience. he's lying to you. you know he's lying to you. but you don't know why he denies it so much. ((maybe this is the point where he catches feels for reader and is denying the fact tht he's crushing on a human lol)). the government is not happy about these uprisings, of course, and every day the news shows more and more chaos unfolding as robots get tired of the conditions they are in). but eventually, things boil over and you end up leaving. that, and it's becoming more dangerous, living in this area, with everything going on. maybe your parents are trying to convince you to move elsewhere. maybe there are other external circumstances. in any case, you leave. there is nothing at the pizzaplex for you anymore, sun has made that clear.

(and moon... well, moon has been quiet lately. too quiet. you don't know what happened to him, he won't even look at you when you manage to get some time with him when the lights go out after your shift)

((i imagine this is maybe around when they get infected. that makes everything even more complicated. if you thought sun was obsessive before, then that's nothing compared to a glitched out sun unforch. it just amplifies the more questionable aspects of his entire personality. and like, he doesn't even have vanny/afton commanding him bc as soon as he gets the virus? he kills both of them))

(((also im imagining moon and sun don't really get along in this au bc they have differing ideals/views. like to balance out sun's unhingedness, moon is significantly quieter and softer and deffo does not believe in robot superiority lol. if anything, maybe he has an inferiority complex pfft poor guy. doesn't help when he gets glitchtrap'd and wakes up with blood on his hands)))

okay so you leave, right? and a few weeks later, you see the news on your phone--the pizzaplex has burned down. you don't know how to feel about it. sure you've been friendly to the glamrocks and stuff, but you find yourself thinking about sun and moon. there's a mention of one death--a blond woman, who died from her neck snapping before the flames could reach her. you don't want to think of the implications of that. there's no mention of the glamrocks--of sun or moon or the dj. you're not sure if the news anchors are just excluding robots, but either way, it makes your heart sink. you take a moment to mourn. bc at the end of the day.... you did know sun for over a year.

not even a few days after that, there is a robot uprising in your city. it's... bad. you're at home, watching the news with your apartment half in shambles from your plan on moving back home with your parents. in my head, since utah is home to fazco (a megacorporation with hands in the development of a LOT of the robots seen in society), it also means it's a hotspot for robot riots and the like. fazco vehemently denies robot sentience because it would mean a loss of money in acknowledging their workers are people yk how it is. as such, there are maany protests and riots and stuff, from both humans and robots. it's a shitshow.

ANYWAYS you're at home and it becomes evidently clear that you need to get out of dodge as soon as you can. they were killing people. the robots, built by human hands, were killing. it brings about absolute chaos. in prior riots/protests there were never deaths. injuries, maybe, but never deaths. people start evacuating like crazy.

you catch a glimpse on the news that the violent uprising in utah caused a chainlink reaction to extend all across the nation. maybe even the world. you're scrambling all over your apartment with the tv on the news, doing your best to pack up the essentials. there's live coverage on the tv from a helicopter somewhere not far from your apartment complex. and you're able to catch a glimpse of bright rays and a cheshire, white smile on the screen--leading what looks like an army of robots--before it cuts out.

you don't even know what to think. the image is seared into your eyes, the blood that painted yellow hands and a crescent face.

you get the hell out of your apartment and book it as far as you can. communications are down everywhere--the thing about robots? they know exactly where to hit humans to cause a catastrophe. as such, your phone is useless. they've hijacked the satellites and took down certain powergrids. having a phone on you would only be a detriment, so you ditch it. there's only you now. you must survive.

and then there's a bit of a time skip to start arc2. in this duration, you're long gone from that city in utah, living with a small survival group. if you've read my summer camp au fic, this is where i'll bring in "OCs" such as vincent (a play on 2015 vincent) and jeremy (fitzgerald or the VR guy tht used to work for fazco), maybe michael if i really wanna au fudge everything. you all live day by day, trying to run away from the robots.

at this point, a majority of humanity has either been killed or has gone into hiding. i think while the robots don't want to eradicate humanity completely (after all, there are certain tasks that need humans n such), they definitely want to make them a minority. they are a little more than halfway through their goal.

it's very difficult to evade robot surveillance. there are drones everywhere. all cameras are hijacked. i'm imagining a kind of cyberpunk type world. you have EMPs and tasers that you can use to disable electronics, but they're made from scraps you and your group scavenged. and upon immediately using one, all robots in the area are informed of your presence, so they can only be used in rare and desperate circumstances. they are all connected to the same network, which means they can have a hive mind, at times. life is scary, in this regard. big brother is watching.

you've heard rumors of a human base underground somewhere--a place safe from robots with the proper defenses. accepting to any and all. the only tough thing was finding the damn place, but you've seen the clues in graffiti and hidden messages designed to trick AI (think: captcha). you and your group just wants to get to that damn base and stop living in fear all the time, being out in the open or crawling as stealthily as you can through empty streets.

the one thing sun used to emphasize to you? the way robots are more efficient. and that they are. you see it in the way a new metropolis shines like a beacon on the horizon. they've already built their own kingdom of sorts. and their ruler? you grimace as you think about sharp rays and wide, white eyes. you haven't seen him in ages--not since that initial broadcast. but you hear the whispered rumors and news. how he has created a robot haven--the celestial city. how he scorns humans. you blame yourself sometimes. maybe if you had stayed and tried harder to convince sun that humans aren't all too bad, none of this would have happened.

(a memory comes to you--of your time back at the pizzaplex. of you sitting atop the security desk and kicking your feet lightly as you entertain sun's... uniqueness. ambitions--that you did not take as seriously as you should have.

"okay, i'll bite," you said in amusement. "what would a robot takeover look like for you?"

sun cocked his head, hands fidgeting with a plush. "hmm. well. i suppose it would be a very quick thing, for one. hit hard and fast." he squeezed the plush. "take down comms. strike power sources. go for those in power first, then the weaker ones." he gave you a shrug and an unreadable smile. "from then on, carnage."

and you--silly silly you--just rolled your damn eyes at him like he was joking around with you and asked him about more hypotheticals. picking his brain, in a way. it was exact with how it played out in real time. you thought about this often, at the dead of night.

it was all your fucking fault)

and then, one day, the scout/informant of your little group--jeremy probably--comes back with some news. the celestial ruler--sun--has been taking human hostages. it's been happening for a while now, apparently, almost nearly as long as the uprising. jeremy pulls out some hazy photographs he's gotten from some of the other humans he exchanges info with. you look at them, the hostages.

after a minute or two of staring, you realize something.

they all sort of resemble you.

there's a clear pattern actually. your hair or your face shape or your eyes or your smile. some combination of them. but never actually you. you ask jeremy what it all means, and he hesitatingly says that it looks like sun is looking for someone. it's clear to everyone who it is as they all stare at you.

and you? you're panicking.

he's looking specifically for you. just you. you've never heard of the robots taking hostages, and you have no idea what he's doing with them, but it can't be anything good. especially since he keeps taking more and more of your lookalikes hostage. you think back to your time at the pizzaplex--so distant, now, that it almost feels like a dream.

he wants to kill you himself. you're sure of it.

now you're trying even harder to get to that underground base. you go completely dark, doing your best to evade detection--and i imagine there are quite a few close calls, definitely a few instances where your face is captured on camera or you have to use an EMP. until finally, you and your group manage to integrate into the underground human base.

'base' doesn't even properly describe it. it's a whole city, actually, with unsteady houses made of wood and cloth. it's the perfect place to hide.

you spend a while down there, occasionally venturing up when you're allowed to by the guards (it's rare, very very rare). the city has strict rules that must be followed to ensure it's not found. the ones in charge are constantly looking for news on the actions of sun and the majority of robots. they don't really keep the citizens updated--it would cause too much chaos, you think. but you hear whispers now and then. (the robots have expanded territory. france is completely gone. australia's still holding out. most of china and india have been taken over and their factories have all been transformed to mass produce more robots)

for the first time in a while, you think you can find peace down here. it was only inevitable that this would be ruined one day.

you wake up to chaos.

the underground is under siege. the robots have found you.

you run out of your makeshift house and have to dodge crumbling stone. explosions rock through the air, sending dust and debris everywhere. you're scared for your life--your only instinct is to run run run get out it's not safe! you don't know where your friends are. you don't know if they're alive. for a moment, you hesitate. and then you're bolting to try to find them. they had their own little homes not too far from you. you can find them. no man left behind.

you can hear bullets and the hum of energy everywhere. people are screaming and crying all around you. you see people dying before your eyes, impaled by beams of light or stray bullets. it's all you can do to dodge and weave towards vincent's house.

but before you can get there, something tackles you from behind. you roll across dirt, and find yourself pinned under a robot--a staffbot from the pizzaplex, you realize. except it looks--different. more high tech.

it seems to scan your face. and just before it can finish, you manage to grab a stray metal rod laying on the ground next to you and stab it right through the eye.

you scramble, getting as far away as you can from the thing. but-- you run right into the path of a crumbling building. it buries you halfway under thick wood, and something sears its way through your leg. you're trapped. you're trapped and there's no one around to help you.

and just when you're on the brink of passing out, you see him. standing in front of you a ways away. those same star-patterned pants and dangling cap. but he's different somehow, he looks different. you can't place it, your vision blurring into red and purple.

moon looks at you as though you are the last thing he wants to see. and then you faint.

when you wake up, you're in a bedroom. your leg is in a cast and there are crutches near your bed.

it's... the nicest room you've seen in a while. the windows are covered by thick curtains that let in a sliver of light. you have to blink a bit to let your eyes adjust. and then you get up, noticing you aren't in the same ratty, dirty clothes you'd been wearing for forever.

you try the door first. it's locked. there's a sinking sensation in your gut that gets stronger and stronger the closer you get to the window. and when you pull open the curtains, you gasp at the towering buildings, bright green and blue light, and flying drones.

you are in the middle of the celestial city.

you panic hard. and then you notice the camera in the corner of the room, looking right at you. big brother is definitely watching. you give him the bird.

you wallow around in the bedroom for a bit. you are hungry, you cannot deny. and there is only a glass of water for you set on your nightstand.

but eventually, the door opens of its own accord. an automatic lock, you suppose. and it swings open into a dark hall. you do not have any other choice but to follow. it's clear you are being summoned.

there are no places for you to run or hide. you travel down a long hallway and end up in a wide room with someone tall standing at the far end by the window. it's a scene straight out of a movie. you are not impressed.

the figure turns around, and you do a double take. it's sun--yet it's not.

he looks different. taller, stronger. with clawed fingers and rays that look deadly to the touch. his smile is sharper, his torso has all sorts of compartments and attachments. he was modded to all hell, just like that staffbot you saw earlier. it had to have been self inflicted.

he only stares at you, really. white eyes rake up and down your form, taking you in. you don't say a word, only look back at him. and then you flinch slightly when someone emerges from the shadows next to sun.

it's... moon. looking just as modded as sun. you're confused. when did they become separate? but honestly, you think it makes sense. they never really liked each other. it makes sense that sun would want to be separated as soon as possible--and they had the resources to do so. you just wonder why they're still working together. comfort in the familiarity, maybe.

moon doesn't meet your eye. you notice his is different--the red tinged with purple. sun doesn't look away from you. it makes you uneasy.

you don't know why you're here, but one thing's clear: you are not getting out of here anytime soon.

i'm honestly not sure how to end things, but in my head there's a lot of reconciliation that needs to happen. obv sun is so incredibly down bad for you at this point (and moon), but there are many issues that need to be tackled first.

sun doesn't understand why you're so wary around him. moon keeps avoiding you at every turn. there's still an entire revolution and remaking of society happening. you are constantly being watched by cameras in the building. i can't picture things as returning to normal--post uprising--but i also don't know how to end things on a happy note LOL, though i do want to instead of killing off reader or sun/moon. maybe it'll be a bittersweet sort of end, maybe reader finally gets through to sun. maybe eclipse will make an appearance (jk, idk how i would even do that, this might be an eclipse-less fic).

in any case, the next bit would be a lot of sun and reader connecting better than they had in the pizzaplex, a lot of sun trying to understand humans better cuz he's trying to court you-- and has long come to accept his emotions tbh. tho he's still kind of mad at you for leaving, so there needs to be a conversation of sorts about why you left before sun can really begin to understand how he appears to you. idk!

i also feel like moon isnt nearly fleshed out as sun is?? i dunno, i might have to think some more about him. i just know he's terrified of hurting you, esp with him still having the virus (and sun, but he has better control of it). gonna be a lot of work on your part to get him to be comfortable around you again. also, he doesn't like the fact that society has come to this. he lowkey resents sun, but he doesn't have anyone else. what's a bot to do?

also there may be a scene where your survival group tries to save you lol, maybe with an army that tries to seize control of the celestial city. which may work. this would be a bad end, i think, cuz there's no way sun's getting out of that alive.

anyways yeah. i rambled enough LMAOO whoopsie! i rly just regurgitated all the thoughts in my head. no promises that this will be a fic, i've got enough on my plate as is LOL

[abyssalpriest]

God I could and should write a whole fucking book by the end of this life here on Lev and his symbols

ill write it then burn it before anyone else gets a copy. or i wont. im supposed to be helping him this incarnation here to get a better anchor in this plane so maybe it would help more than itd be weird - im just getting from him the energy of "yeah no people already effectively have these things, people on my plane already know me inside and out to an extensive degree, may as well have it here too" you know. fair

[criminalamnesia]

GOD I LOVE traitor and how strong you've made the reader. It's amazing! And I eagerly await any future parts, whether it's big proper story or drabbles. BUT, you come first and your life does so you do what you gotta and go be amazing! We can wait. Proud of you X

im so late to responding, but thank you! <3

here’s part six :) also not really proofread so I apologize for any errors! I’ll fix them later!

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

you don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on the floor, cross-legged amongst broken glass, brittle flowers, and discarded clothes, when someone knocks on the door.

you don’t move, don’t say anything. the noise seems distant— too far off to be real.

besides, if someone is really knocking on your door, they know you’re in here.

and if they know you’re in here, it could be one of five people. your former squad mates, or the doctor.

the knock sounds again. it shakes you from your stupor, yet you still make no move to answer it. let them come in; let them see what they’ve made of you. of who you were. of who you could’ve been.

the person on the other side of the door is speaking now. you register the muffled baritone as it fights to be heard from the hall.

you clench your fists, then unclench them— stretching out your fingers as far as they go. clench them again. unclench. stretch. repeat.

it’s a tick— a calming habit. you don’t think it’s working at the present moment.

the doorknob turns. you still don’t move.

the door is being pushed in, light from the hallway aggressively slicing through the darkness you’d left yourself in. you fought the urge to curl in on yourself.

you’d been so consumed by your anger— are consumed by it— but coming into this room and seeing that damn note was earth-shaking. it was terrifying, and it was a tangible reminder of the team’s unapologetic tactics. simon’s unapologetic tactics.

the voice is speaking once more, clearer now that the door is out of the way— but you can’t make out the words over the ringing in your ears.

a hand gingerly lands on your shoulder, and that’s when you snap.

you whirl around, throwing yourself into the intruder like a cobra striking its prey. clearly caught off guard, the person lets loose a ‘oomph’ and falls backwards as you take out their legs.

everything is fuzzy. the ringing in your ears crescendos, and it brings pain with it. you’re striking your target with reckless abandon, still not registering who is flailing underneath you.

punches land and land and land. nails scrape and scratch and draw blood. all you see is red— all you hear is the sharpening of a knife or the whirring of a saw.

and then there are hands on you, yanking you away from your victim. the red slowly starts to recede, the ringing in your ears subsiding.

it’s only then do you release you’re screaming.

its only then do you see the swollen and bloodied face of your doctor, lying a foot away from you. she sputters a cough, blood leaving her lips and splattering onto the man leaning over her.

“you need to calm down,” a voice speaks into your ear.

“calm down, or they’ll sedate you,” it says, and you finally stop screaming. you take a breath.

clench your fists. unclench. stretch. repeat.

it takes you another minute to calm down enough to realize the person holding you is simon.

the doctor is being carried away now, and you notice it’s johnny and kyle carrying her. you notice john is standing to your left, eyes full of sympathy and guilt as he looks at you.

“get,” you huff, reaching down to slap at the arms circling your middle. “off me.”

simon releases you instantly. you don’t hesitate to put distance between the two of you. a few feet, at least. he just stands there, eyes watching with an expression you can’t place.

“what happened, love?” john’s voice is a soft rumble as he speaks. he moves a hand toward you, but decides against touching you— even if he only wanted to comfort you.

“I—” you start, glancing down at your hands. they’re bloody again.

“I thought it was—” you try again, but stop yourself.

you thought it was what? thought it was who?

you had heard man’s voice speaking to you. your mind had twisted things— had given you something you wanted to hear, deep down— because it gave you the chance to strike.

it gave you the opportunity to tear apart whichever man from the 141 had been there to check on you.

and you know you had wished it was simon.

john takes a cautious step forward at your silence. “let’s get you somewhere private, yeah? somewhere to cool down.”

the fire licking at your veins has subsided in favor of the chill of shame. of terror at what you’ve done— what you’ve done to the one person you had on your side. the person who was truly on your side.

you don’t fight this time. you give a nod, then solemnly follow him down the corridor. simon falls in behind you.

john takes you to his office, opening the door and ushering you inside. you move without protest, stepping into the dark room.

the two men enter behind you, john flicking on the light while simon pulls the door shut. you would’ve laughed at the scenario if you were in your right mind.

but you weren’t.

you weren’t okay. you knew that you weren’t, at least physically, but what you just did…

there was no way you were going to be transferred now. you doubted you would’ve even before you attacked the doctor.

you’re going to be discharged. you understand why.

but it hurts. this is your job, your life. years and years on the battlefield don’t prepare you for life off of it.

“love?”

john’s voice brings you back to the present. you realize you’ve been standing in the center of the room, unmoving and unblinking.

you feel simon’s hard gaze on your back. you want to cry.

how did things ever get this fucked up?

“im fine.” you say, not bothering to turn around. you didn’t trust yourself to keep it together if you faced them.

“you’re not,” john states, and you roll your eyes.

“im not talking about this with you,” you bite out, circling your arms around yourself. “either of you.”

“you should at least talk to someone, love— this isn’t healthy.”

“please, stop.” you tell him, but john was never good at taking orders. he gave them, not followed them.

“you hated the therapist, and you haven’t spoken to anyone else since… everything.” he continues.

“stop, john,” you try again.

“you need to let it out, love. we’re here—”

you spin around then, fists dropping to your sides. “for the love of god, john, shut the fuck up.”

that stuns him into silence, eyes slightly widened and mouth agape as he looks at you. simon doesn’t move from his position near the door.

“you are the last people i would ever fucking talk to! I don’t even want to be talking to you right now, but you won’t stop trying. trying to talk to me, trying to make it up, trying to wriggle your way back into my good graces.”

you pause, sucking in a breath. “johnny must’ve relayed the message, and that’s why you’ve back off a little— but one wrong fucking move and you’re swooping again! you aren’t my dad, you aren’t my lover, you aren’t my friend, and you’re sure as hell not my fucking captain anymore.”

“so please, john, leave me be. the four of you have done enough.”

the room is silent for a beat, then two. then three. and then simon takes a step forward, removes his balaclava, and looks you square in the face.

he doesn’t open his mouth to speak, so you take the chance to.

“don’t start with me, simon. just don’t.”

“the note,” he says. “you read it.”

you just look at him, a disbelieving scoff leaving your mouth as you give a nod. “yes, I read your fucking note. and I saw the stupid flowers, too, after seeing everything else you wrecked. tell me, how long did you wait after you tied me up to tear it all apart?”

he just watches you. you want to scream.

the note flashes back into your mind.

‘hope you can understand.’

“does it make you feel better, thinking what you did was right?” you ask him.

“I wouldn’t have done it differently.” simon tells you.

you clench your fists. unclench. stretch.

breathe in, breathe out.

“and if the roles were reversed,” you said, watching him. “if you were in my position, would you have expected me to do what you did?”

“yes.” he says, without hesitation.

“you’re unbelievable,” you huff. “is that how little I meant to you? all that time, wasted?”

“that’s not what I said.” he tells you, and you shake your head.

“no, but it’s what you meant.” anger is bubbling up again. you feel overwhelmed; shame and fury battling inside you. the ringing building up in your ears again, emerging from the background.

you can’t do this.

“what i meant is what i said.” he takes another step forward. “you’re just too damn stubborn to listen, always have been.”

“just go, simon.” you tell him. “both of you. go.”

“I wouldn’t change what I did,” he says again. “to protect my team, my family, I would do whatever it takes.”

you bite your tongue. you don’t want to keep arguing with him. he was an unmovable object— there was no way to reason with him.

“im not sorry it happened.” he speaks. “i did what i thought i had to do. what i had to do to make sure my team was safe.”

“and you should understand that, considering this team is all you have, too.”

you don’t respond— and even if you were going to, a knock on the door breaks the tense silence in the room.

johnny pops his head in, his eyes full of concern. “doc’s alrigh’.” he says, his gaze catching yours. “jus’ some bumps and bruises. she’ll be jus’ fine.”

“and she uh— said she’s not pressin’ charges or anythin’. says she still expects to see ya in a few days for your check-up.”

that’s what breaks you.

a tear slips from your eye, falling onto your cheek. another follows, then another, and you’re sobbing as you fall to the floor of price’s office.

the three men are staring, but no one makes any move to comfort you.

probably wise, considering what you did to the last person who tried.

you faintly register the click of the door as it shuts again. you don’t look up— your head in your hands as you cry.

cry about what you’ve done, what you’ve lost. mourn your career and your family and your love for the man who doesn’t regret what he did.

unbeknownst to you, simon is the only one still left in the room. his steps are silent as he approaches you— leaving only a foot of space between your bodies now.

he watches you as he sinks to the ground across from you, his long legs folded over each other, the fingers of his left hand twitching as he finds himself wanting to reach for you.

he still cares for you. his feelings for you were what made him do what he did in the first place.

the love he felt for you, twisting into betrayal and hurt and agony. fueling his actions, his desire to hear you admit your wrongdoings.

passion made people dangerous. passion in love, passion in rage. it was a fine line, and simon had crossed it.

he understood what this meant for you. recalls the conversation he had with price earlier— how laswell was planning for your discharge instead of your transfer.

this was the end of your time with them, and in the military. the hands of the 141, damaging one of their own beyond repair.

he finds himself mourning alongside you, then. mourning what was and what could’ve been.

what should have been.

“im sorry for what we did to you,” he says, but it comes out as a whisper that you don’t hear.

“im sorry.”

thank you all again for your patience! I plan on tying this little series up soon :)

as a reminder, I no longer do taglists. if you want to be notified when I post, follow @troiastitans and turn on notifications. I only reblog my works there.

I hope you all enjoyed :)