#you might be there with hatred and disgust and a wish to hurt but you're at least there

[genderfluidcrowley]

"because all he'll see is me" is a line that's absolutely killing me

[animeyanderelover]

can i request characters of your choice from tokyo ghoul (+kaneki, haise and ayato if possible) with a darling whose blood is sweet and addictive like yui from DL?

Last few exams will be written next week and then I only have to wait the last weeks until my holidays. Wish me the best.

Tags: @naeho @flaming-vulpix

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, obsession, possessive behavior, delusional thoughts, stalking, sadism, isolation, paranoia, clinginess, overprotective behavior, abduction, self-harm, death

Sweet & addictive blood

Ken Kankeki

🔲​Kaneki, who hasn't been a ghoul until the accident, already struggles with his self-control a bit yet his s/o really puts his mental composure to the test. Kaneki would never hurt his s/o, he'd die for them. So why is his mouth watering a bit whenever he catches a good whiff of their skin? That enticing smell invades his mind and fuels his greed for a taste yet as soon as he catches himself indulging in the thought of those primal desires, disgust and self-loathing burns through his entire being. He punishes himself for even thinking about you like this, although all inflicted wounds heal after a while due to his regeneration abilities. He spends hours in his room, tears in his eyes and his own blood coating his mouth and his teeth as he stares at his arms and watches the injuries slowly healing. It isn't enough, he thinks to himself. This pain isn't enough to make up for letting himself develop such vile desires for your flesh and blood.

🔲​Through all of this hatred directed against himself, there's another fear blossoming deep inside of Kaneki's soul. If he already lusts for a taste of you like this, how would it be for other ghouls? Suddenly his thoughts are overwhelmed with images of other ghouls attacking you, tearing you apart, devouring you as your agonizing screams die down and the life leaves your eyes. Such gruesome thoughts nearly make him throw up whenever they won't leave his head and twist and turn his stomach. Despite his disgust for himself, Kaneki follows you around whenever he can and every ghoul he comes across whilst following you, he attacks. His paranoia makes every ghoul see him as your future murderer so he scares them, hurts them and in the worst case kills them. His mind is spinning, his heart is aching and his body is just yearning for closeness with you until Kaneki who has already been cracking under the pressure of his own emotions crumbles apart.

🔲​Your scent soon fills his apartment wherever he goes and it is as soothing as it makes him go a bit crazy. He feels hunger for you, for just a small taste of your blood yet he always holds himself back. You're always uneasy around him as he often just stares at you and you see his entire body softly trembling. Occasionally he takes a step or two in your direction, his gaze needy before he stumbles back again and mumbles something to himself. Kaneki tries to stay away from you but it doesn't always work. You remember sometimes waking up at night to him wrapped around you, his face in your neck as he takes deep breaths and you can feel his own racing heart beat through his chest. If you should ever hurt yourself and the blood just seeps out of your wound, he completely relapses on his delicate control for a moment or two, might even taste the wound with his warm tongue.

Touka Kirishima

🟪Touka has been having some emotions for you for a while now but she has actively tried to ignore them. She's even pushing you away from her, seems short-tempered and brash around you if you should ever try to start a conversation with her. You're confused and wonder if you've done something wrong yet really, none of this is your fault. At least not a fault you made consciously. It's just that your scent ...drives her a bit mad. Touka has never wanted this obsession with you and as if her own emotions aren't already enough to give her a headache, your very sweet blood rushing through your body complicates it all a bit. It isn't that she's about to lose control per se as she has experience in controlling her appetite but the combination of her feelings and your sweet smell seem to make it so difficult for her.

🟪She knows how most humans view ghouls so she is very bend on never letting you find out what she is because as tough as she may try to be, she fears to see her darling being afraid of her due to her being a ghoul. Yet she also knows that not all ghouls will be as careful around you as she is so Touka often starts stalking you or just simply walking you home. Honestly, her behavior contradicts itself often around you because on the one hand she avoids yet also often accompanies you but it's not like you'll get an answer out of her for this. She does all of this for protection because she is fully aware that ghouls might very well come after you for your sweet scent. No one will harm you under her watch though because even with her quiet and aloof exterior at times, she is very ready to become violent for your sake.

🟪Her secret can't remain a secret forever though and eventually she sees herself forced to tell you the truth about her biology and also reveal to you what your sweet smell does to the hunger of a ghoul. She has to swallow back her her emotions when she sees the fear blooming on your face, some of it also directed at her. This is what she expected but still... seeing it hurts. This reveal doesn't have to end in an abduction though and she makes that clear to you too. If you just do as she says and let her continue watching over you, she would be willing to let you live on with your life as you're used to it. Although she knows it'll probably never be quite the same for you again now that you know what she is and are also aware just how special and sweet your blood is for her kind.

Ayato Kirishima

🌌Ayato would rather come up with every other excuse than the one that involves him admitting that he harbors deep inside his heart romantic attraction to a human. Your sweet and special blood is so used as his best excuse to deny his feelings and instead make it look like he's only obsessed with you due to your addictive blood. He's very straightforward in clarifying it to every other ghoul that they shouldn't dare to harm you unless they want to be attacked and murdered by him. Ayato is very straightforward with his territorial feelings and every ghoul who resides even close to you will be beaten bloody by him to the point where even their regeneration won't do much for them. He's big on just stalking you for a couple of months because he still doesn't know what to do with the mess of emotions inside of him. He knows who is to blame for it though. You.

🌌The time eventually comes where Ayato grows sick and tired of seeing you walk around and be so unaware and in good spirits whilst he is tearing himself mentally apart because of his conflicting emotions and has gone on a killing spree just to prevent any other ghoul from attacking you and devouring you. You're such an ungrateful brat. You don't deserve to be left like this, so carefree and happy with your life. He abducts you because he's spiteful and angry with you. A part of him just wants to see you suffer a bit so that he can feel better about himself and also convince himself that you're nothing more than a petty and pathetic human. You should be careful not to anger him since Ayato is very trigger-happy the first few weeks after abduction because your constant presence confronts him harshly with his true feeling for you.

🌌He's being a sadistic asshole for a while with you and hurts you on purpose to taste some of your blood, his tongue digging into your injuries as he watches you squirm with discomfort and tears in your eyes. Ayato is being careful enough to not injure you seriously but enough to make you fear him so that you will listen to him and enough to quench some of his lust for your blood. Passing time changes his heart slowly though and to his huge shame he finds himself growing a small soft spot for you. That's the last thing he wants, he doesn't want you to realize that you are a weak spot for him since he has a fear of you abusing his feelings for you for your own selfish purposes. Sometimes his love for you slips out though and instead of a harsh bite you expected from him you feel a rough kiss being placed on your skin, one that has him recoiling when he realizes what he's just done.

Nishio Nishiki

🎓​Nishiki has some conflicted emotions regarding his obsession with you too because humans were the ones who took his older sister away from him by murdering her. He won't deny that he holds a grudge against your kind but he's more mature in handling this situation. He can't deny that your blood has him lusting for a taste of you too but he knows to wait a bit and to not act too impulsively. Most importantly is that he realizes that you might be targeted by other people of his kind thanks to your rare and sweet blood and the enticing scent you carry around with you. To prevent anyone from hurting and/or killing you to enjoy you as their next meal, he opts to worm his way into your life as quickly as possible in order to have a good eye on you all of the time and prevent anything from happening to you.

🎓​There is a deep-rooted fear of Nishio to lose you too because he has lost the most precious person to him already with the death of his sister. Even if he doesn't show it, he is a tad bit paranoid to lose you as well now that you've grown on him so much. Perhaps this is why he turns into such a controlling individual around you and has set his mind to achieving a certain level of influence over you and your life. For that he uses his charm and his intelligence to get approval from your friends and your parents to have them put trust in his words and his judgement too if you shouldn't be as obedient and follow his decisions as he would like. In his mind, you just don't know any better though. You're only a human and differently from him, you've seen nothing. Nishio thinks of himself as better suited to make decisions involving your life.

🎓​He can't help himself at times from stepping closer to you and taking a few deep sniffs of your smell. As good and experienced he may be in regards of his hunger, a few weak moments still happen from time to time. He keeps everything a secret from you as long as he can though, including why he always has to accompany you and why you aren't allowed to walk around alone at night. When the time comes for you to find out though, Nishiki actually uses it as a way to blackmail and manipulate you further. If it wouldn't have been for him, you would have been attacked multiple times already by a ghoul. The only reason why you're still alive today is because he protected you and fought for you against other ghouls who planned to ambush you. Don't you understand him? You need him.

Shuu Tsukiyama

🍷​Tsukiyama is a self-proclaimed gourmet in the world of ghouls and one who wouldn't even shy away from cannibalism if it would present him with a new and unique flavor to explore and present to other ghouls. So when he one day just walks through the city and you just happen to pass him on the street, leaving a trail of your sweet scent behind you, he knows that he has found his next attraction, his next meal for him to taste and gush about. He doesn't just abduct you instantly though as he thinks of such a sudden act as bland, tasteless and beneath him. Instead it almost appears as if this young man is courting you at first with sweet words and lots of presents whilst simultanously having to swallow back his saliva by constantly being surrounded by your excellent and mouth-watering aroma.

🍷​His obsession for your mere blood deepens during this time where the unknown eye just assumes that this flamboyant young man is just courting you. Your company is genuinely enjoyable and he soon starts thinking about you as more than just the next fantastic meal for him to discover and present to others. Your personality is adorable and sweet and he genuinely enjoys teasing you and making you a tad bit uncomfortable. This triggers the abduction though because Shuu is ridiculously jealous and possessive over you all of a sudden and even with romantic feelings now involved, Shuu is still a sadist. In one moment he can be sweet, clingy and doting and in the next moment he pins you down with a creepy grin on his face as he rips your shirt away from your body, sniffing your bare skin and letting his tongue glide across you before letting his teeth sink into your flesh, enjoying his taste of your sweet blood that he won't share with anyone else.

🍷​By the time his father finds out about you and the way his son has treated you, your already covered in bite marks and scared for your life. Needless to say, you're rescued from Shuu and taken care of by the Tsukiyama household with Shuu strictly forbidden to see you. The man throws the biggest scene ever as he throws a temper tantrum, begs his father to let him see you again only to start crying when his father tells him harshly off and refuses to let his son see you until he has learnt how to treat the person he claims to love. Mirumo is utterly disappointed with the way his son has treated you, apologizes to you and promises you to never let such terrible things happen to you again. Shuu is kept for as long away from you until his father deems him to have learned his lesson, although even then Mirumo still is in the same room as you when Shuu can finally visit you again.

Uta

🎭You've stumbled by sheer chance into his store but find yourself staying for a while longer since you've never seen someone like Uta before. Uta, upon first meeting you, seems to realize that you are quite special too. He can tell as much from your scent that even makes his mouth water a bit but he hides it very well as he just starts chatting with you about random stuff now that you're here anyways. Initially he doesn't seem to care much for you, seems only interested to see how long you can manage to stay alive with that sweet blood of yours. As time piles on though and you continue to visit his shop since you find the owner of it so unique though, he has a chance of heart as he decides that you're too special to be killed. It would be a pity if he would lose his little muse because some ghouls couldn't control themselves now, wouldn't it?

🎭Uta is a bit more lazy so he wouldn't want to go on a killing spree or stalk you everyday if he can take other meassurements to ensure that no other ghoul touches. His occupation as a ghoul who crafts masks for a lot of ghouls is a small help as he always finds out about rumors and current events through his customers by sparking some conversation with them. If one of his customers happens to mention a human with very sweet blood, Uta automatically knows who he has to target if it should come down to it. All of his laziness aside though, Uta can be exceptionally cruel and sadistic if he should ever come to the point where he has to get rid of a threat. He takes your protection very serious so he would be damned if he would let someone else ever dare to touch you and take you away from him.

🎭You've grown accustomed to Uta's very quirky sides. He is just very weird so at one point you stop protesting when he sometimes leans closer to you and starts sniffing you like some sort of dog. Uta keeps his identity initially a secret from you too but eventually he just decides to tell you about what he is. Trying to escape is useless, he's locked the door up so you have nowhere to run. No reason to be so skittish though, he doesn't plan to kill you. He'd just like you to be his, his sweet muse. If you do as he says, he'd even let you leave again. If you tell anyone though or try to run away, he will come for you and he will find you. Uta is quite chill most of the time but he has his short sadistic moments where he just decides that a small taste won't hurt and so you can only sob silently as teeth cut through your skin to taste your blood only to have him afterwards hush and comfort you through your pain.

Haise Sasaki

🔳​Sasaki is more responsible and mature although also painfully good-willed to the point where he might appear as a tad bit naive. He isn't aware who he used to be in his past though so perhaps that's why he can be the way he is. He works to protect people against ghouls so his darling falls into the category of people he has sworn to protect. Yet something about their scent is quite enticing and sweet even for him but he would never admit that. He knows that it would sound very creepy to others and he himself recoils out of shame and embarrassment whenever he gets a bit too lost in the scent of yours. Instead he hides all of his thoughts and just acts around you like he acts around everyone else. A bit more reserved but still very polite. Maybe just a tad bit kinder to make up for thinking about you in such unsettling ways, even if you don't know about that.

🔳​Perhaps his willingness to be nicer around you to make himself feel better about his thoughts regarding your scent are what really starts his obsession as he spends more time with you. Partially to still do everything to make himself feel less guilty and partially because he is capable of realizing that every other ghoul would come after you for your sweet blood. Because he spends such an abundance of time with you, he really starts getting to know you and even starts developing feelings for you. You're kind and adorable and some part of him just wants to protect you from this cruel world that will rip you away from him and- He doesn't even know where those dark and intrusive thoughts come from but he knows that he has to push his growing feelings away as such creepy ideas start infiltrating your mind and he finds himself sometimes thinking of just locking you away and shielding you from all evil in this world.

🔳​He knows that he already spends a lot of time with you but somehow this doesn't seem to be enough. He wants to be even more with you but in order to not be seen as too clingy, he starts stalking you. It is embarrassing and shameful but he really can't help himself. He just has to protect you and a small voice in his head always reminds him that something could happen to you whilst he is gone and fuels his paranoia a bit. When you hug him, a part of him really just wants to hold you and never let you go so that he can get lost in your sweet aroma but he holds himself back from doing so, although his body starts slightly trembling as this takes a lot of his self-control. He does his best to hold himself back as good as he can but it's undeniable that some part inside of him, someone else inside of him, just wants to lock you away, keep you and murder everyone who would dare to touch a single strand on your head the wrong way.

[clxwnprinceofcrime]

(There is a plain, baby blue letter waiting for him on his desk that's addressed to him.) Dear Joker, I know this might be surprising coming from me of all people. As I tossed and I turned and I paced around, I can't seem to find the will in me to let this go, at least, not the way I expect to be. I want to make things right before we permanently part ways forever. Or else this will weigh in my heart for the rest of my life. You know how it is with me and guilt. ...

Joker... I did not lie when I said I pitied you. From what started as disgust and hatred grew into soft and fondness of your company, and... the longer we're apart I can say with full certainty that I hold held genuine feelings for you; it was just really hard to accept it from my end. Despite our mutual feelings, I think it would still be best that we never see each other again, mostly because I truly do think that you deserve someone better. Someone who truly does make you happy, not make you bathe in misery and heartbreak like I have. I do not feel worthy of you. Please do take care of yourself. I wish you a good life from here on out. Thank you for the memories, I know I'll cherish it as much as you have. Whenever I smile, I'll think fondly of you. - Azura

His hands shake as they grip harder onto the paper, his breathing is heavy and ragged in a way that almost seems feral. Slamming the note down, he balls his fist and grabs his hair. He attempts to catch his breath, the scene itself, frightening for its only observer. "..Sir, uh- She said it's best if you didn't send anything back. T..To leave it-"

"Did you hear her? What she wrote to me?" He asks.

The man behind him stands uncomfortably. "No, I just-"

He laughs, one that might have been fond to the author of the letter, but it certainly was no comfort to his henchmen.

"She loves me. She- She does love me, she... she was scared. Of course, of course. All of the pressure, the commitment. My sweets was always afraid of commitment." Joker stands, pushing the chair out and scrambling to his feet.

Jester flinches. "She-"

"Don't- don't act like you know her like I do. You've done your part, now you're going to do your job." He hisses through his teeth, that horrid smile on his face.

Jester shrinks, fighting whether or not he should do something about this. Help that poor girl one last time. She said she wanted him, she just couldn't make that choice. If he got in the way, what good would it do?

He slowly nods, stepping back to leave Joker to his own devices.

The clown watches the door close and he feels what was once despair become a vicious glee, his emotions swirling and drowning his mind till he could barely think. He falls and holds onto himself, so overcome with joy that it hurts. His eyes are manic and wild as he digs his hands into his arms until they begin to bleed. His head falls backwards and he lets out a cackle akin to a hyena after a wonderfully gory meal.

Ohhhhh, Azura.. You won't have to worry for long.

This guy's in loooove with youuuu.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Is it Really Self-Hatred When You're No Longer You?

Summary: '22 is a resentful man.

Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts!

[The counterpart fic to Fleeting Memory. Where Tup is struggling to deal with his grief and feelings of inadequacy, '22 has to deal with everyone else's guilt and their desire for him to "heal" and become Dogma once more. As you can imagine, this has a rather negative effect on him...]

---

Inevitably, '22 begins to resent Dogma.

It's not something he can help but to do. Not when everyone looks to him and wishes with all their might that, by some miracle, '22 would just seize to be and their lost brother was returned to them. And this is not mere speculation on his part. He's heard the whispers behind closed doors. Listened to every single word that slipped from the lips of clones that thought him too inept to understand that he wasn't wanted. That they only allowed him to stay out of pity.

He's watched from the shadows (a strange hollow feeling in his chest) as Tup asked Fives whether or not it was selfish of him, that he wanted Dogma to have truly been killed instead of being turned into '22. If it was cruel to wish for his brother to be at peace, instead of being forced to roam the halls as something lesser than a man.

Tup's words are always the ones that hurt the most.

Despite the growing annoyance (and burning hatred), he never confronts anyone about it. '22 much prefers to avoid conflict when given the choice. On Kamino peace and quiet had been just about the only luxuries he'd ever gotten. Rewards for being an agreeable little pawn that did whatever its masters told it to do without complaint.

If he didn't fight... If he didn't scream... If he did his tasks with the utmost efficiency...

The lab existed as an alternative to the dismantling and repurposing of defective units. It wasn't the better alternative, mind you, as reeducation was simply not an exact science. But it was certainly less messy in a more physical sense.

Clones who were not up to par in the field could be remade anew for a purpose that better served them.

Temperament issues, speech impediments, disobedience, independence... Those were symptoms of mental deficiencies that the lab could "fix".

Ultimately, Dogma had been defective. Disobedient in a murderous degree. Killed a superior officer (a Jedi no less), and then been sent away and never inquired after ever again. The 501st hadn't cared when they thought he was still alive and well. So why did they now, when '22 had taken his place? When they'd been shown the results of the Kaminoan's "corrective efforts"?

He's heard what the medic with the incision tattoos had to say.

How they ranted and raved with unrestrained fury that everyone was being a disgusting hypocrite. How none of them had actually liked Dogma prior to learning about the reconditioning. And yet, suddenly, everyone and their brother was crying gryzard tears over a vod they had often compared to a rupturing appendix.

The medic's honesty and outrage had been just about the only thing that had comforted '22. If just because at least someone (other than the little black and white critter that stared at him with understanding yellow eyes) didn't expect the impossible from him.

Dogma was gone and '22 had ownership of this body now.

It was never his intention to resent Dogma.

Anger, hatred and other heart-rate raising emotions were, quite frankly, counterproductive things that only caused trouble. Placidity and amicability were qualities that should be striven for. Especially if they made your chest hurt less, and your eyes and nose stop burning. What use was there to hate a dead man anyway?

Crying over something outside of his control was never pleasant. It made the headaches and the tremors worse. And then he'd vomit and the sour taste would remind him of all the times he'd nearly aspirated, during one of the many tests he was subjected to on Kamino.

Sour and salty things make him shudder and gag violently. The smell of cheese alone makes him lock his jaw on instinct. All his foods have to be coated in copious amounts of sweet sauces or other artificial sugars, for him to be able to choke them down.

'22 hates that everyone keeps giving him cheese when it clearly distresses him. Because it was Dogma's favorite. He always gives their offerings to DB instead, who eagerly eats them and then nuzzles his fingers gratefully in return (the little Bean is his only true friend).

Intentional or not, resenting Dogma comes naturally.

And it's not even his fault. It's everyone else's and their single-minded insistence on trying to push him to become someone he's not. With every comparison, every inquiry over memories or inside jokes he's not privy to, every attempt to tease him over a quality he does not possess, every single interaction where no one sees him for who he is... The burning in his chest increases.

And as time passes, his resentment of Dogma extends to Tup as well.

Tup who consistently torments '22 with the futile hope that his "actual brother" will one day return to him. Tup who is a despicable terrible man who dragged '22 out of the only place that ever made sense to him. Tup who he fantasizes about smothering with a pillow in the night so as to put an end to the perpetual misery.

He can never bring himself to do it, even when he knows he's the only one awake. The only person currently looming over the more tangible object of their ire, with clenched fists, gritting teeth, and a cold horrid burn in his withering heart.

Instead he always finds his way up onto the roof and sits on the ledge overlooking the cityscape.

Trying to desperately stamp out the wickedness that overtakes him, whenever his head gets too full of the buzzing anguish that comes with wanting someone he hates to love him just as much as he clearly loved Dogma...

One of these days he might just jump. It'd be easier after all, if he were simply dead.

At the very least easier than pretending anyone might ever come to love '22, when all he was is a reminder of someone they apparently hadn't even liked all that much if they'd let Kamino spirit him away into nothingness...

Well, someone that isn't DB and the maintenance droids at least. The little Bean and his mouse droid friends seem to be the only beings in this galaxy that give a damn about '22's well being. They're the only thing keeping him from doing more than just sitting at the precipice of his demise.

And, pragmatic as ever, '22 considers that to be enough for now.

[jerzwriter]

Do you answer all the anon hate you might get? Sometimes I do because I don't want to be seen as someone who is hiding but sometimes I don't want to because I don't owe them any explanation, you know?

It depends.

First and foremost - you don't owe anyone shit. Period. ESPECIALLY some troll who is trying to hurt you. Block, delete, and move on with your day. Protecting your peace is not only acceptable; it should be an obligation.

In general, I delete. My blog, my rules, and I'm not here for that crap. I'm sure you're not. Excuse my French, but fuck them.

So, when do I share...

When it's to the point that I think it's better, the fandom sees that there is a disgusting underbelly roaming beneath us. (The "We are legion" doctoral thesis in hatred I received for no good reason comes to mind.)

When it's comical. Sometimes, an opportunity just presents itself. Like the time someone sent me, "You're writing sucks." Sorry, that's just a gift.

Sometimes if they just get me on the wrong day, and I feel like I have to say something.

That third one there that's a little tricky, though. Those are the ones you may regret later. You know a good way to counteract those? Screenshot it, send it to a bunch of fandom friends, VENT, and engage in a healthy dose of private "how much of an a**hole is this anon" together. Then, block, delete and move on with your day.

Being here isn't much different than real life. Want to irritate your haters? Ignore them and live your best life. I just wish I had the block button (no matter how ineffective) in real life too. :)

GOOD LUCK, Nonny and if you ever need an ear, I'm here. I've kind of got a silver medal in this Olympic Event.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Virtue

Part II

Pairing: fae!Steve Rogers x fae!reader

Warnings: soft!yandere, obsession, Stockholm syndrome, mass murder (kinda? annihilation of fair folk), failed suicide attempt (nothing descriptive), hurt/comfort.

Words: 2k.

Summary: Rumored to be the deadliest out of all fairy queens, the bearer of curses, you have been laying in your glass coffin for centuries until the knight destined to save his kind comes to your tomb. He demands justice, but not the kind you expect.

Part I

__________

Now it's you who's taken aback by his words as you watch him watching you. Slowly, you regain your vision little by little, and you see the knight has bright blue eyes, and his hair is light like ripened wheat. With his miscular figure and broad shoulders, he looks too much of a human to think he's a descendant of a fair folk, too, but you don't doubt him. A mere man wouldn't be able to find you, taken away by the Unseelie prince somewhere where you spent centuries, undoubtedly. Besides, he must have put charms on your tomb, charms the knight had to break to get in, and it surely wasn't easy. No, he's here because it's his fate, just like you. He was chosen to wake you, stop the curse from taking the lives of fae descendants who wanted to live in peace. Is it his family who suffers from your curse? His parents? His wife? His child?

Despite his kind words, he must hate you for bringing this deadly magic into the world, hurting people he loves. You smile at him, grateful he conceals his anger well, but he can see through you and your pain, you know for sure.

"I was raised with love," he starts speaking when you are silent, still. "My father was human, and my mother is a part fae, so both of them knew their children might carry this disease, but they still got married. They loved my sister and me probably more than they ever loved themselves. Even when my mother fell sick and I learnt it was me who was destined to find the Queen of Curses, it was because we were together we could still keep going. I can't imagine what it feels like growing in a place where no one at all loves you."

You make a strange sound, something that was supposed to be a laugh but turned into sigh. You wish the knight was talking about someone else, not you, but he's right. Of course, your mother loved you, maybe even as much as his mother loved him, but she's not with you, and you wish for someone else who would at least pretend to be kind to you.

Your knight does exactly that, though.

"Is it love that you want?" He asks you suddenly, and you raise your head, confused and strangely ashamed. "If the fair folk failed to give you any, would you take mine in exchange for breaking the curse?"

It sounds like a twisted proposal of marriage where the groom has to submit to the bride unless he wants her to stab him. It makes you feel miserable, it makes you feel guilty and sick and disgusted with yourself because you made someone do this for you in exchange for the lives of his loved ones. You are no villain, you thought when you marched to the Unseelie prince in hopes he would kill you in an instant, but you enjoyed the thought it was you and your hatred that wiped out your immortal enemies from the earth. You didn't think of all those people who died just because the curse carried on without your or their involvement. Gods know how many innocent lives your curse took just because they had fair folk's blood running through their veins. When you imagine your knight's mother laying in bed, knowing her days are numbered just like her children's, your face distorts in disgust.

"If it's love you want, I can give you so much until you're sick of it," the man whispers to you, and you see he's desperate, silently praying for you to accept his proposal while you sit in front of him like a queen, waiting for a better offer. "You won't be disappointed with me."

"Stop," you shake your head, wondering why your hair seems to be the same length as when you were put into coffin centuries ago. "I don't want anything in return. I will break the curse for you and other descendants of the fair folk, and that will be the end of it."

"Don't try to trick me," he cocks his head to the side, his sharp blue eyes nearly burning a hole in you. "I know it's love you long for. Why do you refuse taking what I am willing to give?"

You understand what makes him so cautious - he, undoubtedly, considers you a faerie since you grew up among them, those ancient, wicked creaturs who would lie and cheat for their own sake. It shouldn't surprise you he doesn't believe your words.

"I will give you an oath if you so desire, but I'm telling the truth. I won't take advantage of you."

"Then it's too late for that."

You want to hide your face in your palms or scream at him in frustration because you don't know how else to prove you are not the Queen of Curses he still expects you to be. You want nothing. You're an empty shell of a human girl you once were, and all you want is to crawl inside that glass coffin behind you and close the lid. What good will his sacrifice do for you? What makes him be so reckless with his own life when you offered him an oath you won't break?

You're tired, you think as you raise your head and stare at the ceiling again, exhaling loudly. You don't know what else you can do.

Before you have a chance to say a word, the knight starts speaking.

"You have been in my thoughts since the day an old crow told me of my destiny. Sometimes I couldn't sleep because I imagined myself battling with you, cutting your head off and bringing it to the fairies as a proof I've done well," he tells you, and you appreciate his honesty, knowing he's still afraid of you because of how cautiously he moves. "But then my mother told me the Queen of Fairies would charm me with just one glance at my face. It was stupid to think I will win just because I have a sword and armor. What my mother said is that I should appeal to the Queen's heart because she was greatly wounded by the man she loved."

Well, at least that part of the legend was true, you think as you listen to him, hoping he will tell you what he wants aside from forcing his sacrifice down your throat.

"She told me you longed for love so much you were ready to become curse bearer just to punish the one who refused you. In the end, why would someone as powerful as Queen end her life? She could have many other lovers. She could make her past lover suffer for his betrayal, but she preferred to die and take that lover with her because the truth pained her so much.

"Doesn't it show how great her love for him was? She could no longer live, knowing she would never be loved by the person she cherished the most. If there was anything I could do to stop the curse, it was to make her happy so that she would forget her past lover and the pain he brought her. Of course, it was what kept the curse going for so long, my mother said."

You hope you aren't crying like a pathetic child you once were. When you touch your cheek, it's dry, but the knight catches the movement of your hand, and now you are sure he knows exactly why you did it. It feels miserable.

"And so I lived, imagining an unhappy woman who wept in her coffin as she slept, neither dead nor alive, laying in her tomb as centuries passed. I thought it was her misfortune that made her cruel, and I hoped to find out how I can mend her heart. I grew up, and my compassion for her grew as well. I started seeing her - you in my dreams, and your face looked just like it does now. "

When you stare at him, you can see his expression is almost dreamy, and it makes you want to cry, but you can't. It's harder to breathe, though.

"You said you don't want to take advantage of me, but you already did when you accepted the curse. I was born because you needed me," he says, and you feel his fingertips on your skin as he touches your cheek like a lover. "I am here because we are a part of one legend, and you can't take it away from me. You can't take away my dreams of you, and the oath I gave to the world you can't take either. But you can have my love, all of it, because it's yours for the taking. Won't it be enough?"

You want to tell him this is forced love, a kind of love that isn't true, love that will poison him the moment you decide to take it, but when you look him in the eyes you know he doesn’t feel repulsed by you nor he pretends to love you out of call of duty. His feeling is true and pure, and it's a sin to doubt him or reject what he has to offer.

"I was waiting for this day my whole life," he admits with a sigh, but then you see a smile on his lips when kneels in front of you again and offers you his hand. "Please take what I give you and give me what I asked in return."

You have nothing to say as you slip your hand in his and make him sit close to you, his back against a glass coffin where you laid until he found you. When you put your head on his shoulder, you whisper your oath, releasing the curse you bore for too long, and you hear your knight breathing deeper as if somebody took their hand off his throat. You two keep sitting in the dark until you fall asleep, listening to the human heart beating in his chest, and he cradles your head in his lap. His iron armor doesn't feel as cold against your skin as you thought it would.

THE END

________

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[pedrosbrat]

Sorrow You Are My Light {Pero Tovar x Max Phillips x F!Reader}

CHAPTER II : Land Of Broken Promises

AU - Vampire Hunters

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Angst, Sad Memories, BLOOD, VAMPIRE FIGHT, Language, alcohol, yearning, violence (fight) , mention of murder, mention of children death, sword, church massacre, some feelings …

Summary: The three of you will go looking for Max’s creator, making unexpected encounters on your way, also discovering that you don’t hate vampires as much as you think...

Little Comment : Hi everyone, it’s my first series, I hope you will like it (if you see any mistakes let me know and I will correct it) & 1 chapter will be published every week, every Saturday⚔️reblog are appreciated ♥ Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Series Masterlist

You've always known and understood that your life wasn't the way you wanted it to be, that it's a state of being that's pretty pathetic and that your whole life revolves around your grief. But collaborating with a vampire was never in your plans, and when you woke up this morning you really didn't think you'd end up talking to this Max Philips who seems quite comfortable with the both of you. That's when you knew you were really in a bad way… A vampire comfortable with vampire hunters…

Max for his part is not quite as comfortable as you think, but he doesn't show it still keeping that smug and amused look on his face, not showing that anything is getting to him. He tries to ignore the way you look at him with disgust in your eyes and a deep hatred in pero's eyes. He knows everyone hates vampires, but he thinks you seem to hate them in a rather personal way and wonders what has happened to the both of you to get to this point... Having no prospects, no attachments to anyone... A very lonely life, even spending it as a duo...

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

"We heard there was a massacre not far from here, Father," Max says with a more than innocent and sweet look on his face.

You turn to Pero and roll your eyes, tired of this little comedy he's been putting on for two days now. But Pero doesn't care, he's more worried about the rest of your little adventures, realising that he doesn't know his enemy as well as he thought he did, not understanding how a vampire can enter a church for example. "What do I know, Pero?" you answer him, more and more worried with each moment you spend with him too.

Not that you fear him... Or maybe a little, realizing with every step you take that, places that are supposed to protect you won't, and that every weapon that is supposed to hurt him has no effect on him... He must have a weakness...

So, two days ago, contrary to what you thought, Max had not taken you back to the forest where the massacre took place near your home and took you west, explaining that after attracting so much attention, members of his species never stay in one place. He explained to you that they have a method of travel that is not as random as you might think: When one superior vampire is spotted in the east, the other will head west, because when attention is suddenly focused on one place it can become too dangerous for all members of their species.

You have also discovered that what Max calls vermin, are vampires who were simply bitten and left for dead, that the ritual was not completed, bringing them back to life as mere vegetables that follow any order... Mere flesh to be slaughtered.

You've learned a lot in the last few days... Wondering if he was making it all up... Why was he telling you all their secrets? And how many of them are like him?

"Apparently there's been another massacre in the nearby town and..." "I always thought you called it a buffet." said Pero cutting Max off, flashing a smirk on his face, obviously very proud of his remark "... For there to be a buffet handsome, someone would have to eat." he replied simply as he got back on his horse starting to gallop, overriding the vampire joke, leaving you to follow closely behind him puzzled "He..." You hesitate to ask him too much, not wanting him to think at any point that you're even remotely close to trusting him "You can ask your question, I don't bite..." he said with a smirk, holding back from making his joke. Pero gave him a cold look, letting him know that he didn't find it funny at all, and Pero simply raised his arms in apology, "I was just wondering if... They don't eat them?" you say, disgusted with the image your mind has just created. "Oh no, not with the buffet he made himself less than two days ago..." he says, referring to the massacre in the forest.

He stopped talking for a moment, and you thought you saw a hint of sadness in his eyes for a brief moment, before he began to smile again, noticing that you were watching him "... No, this is all just a game to him, like a simple hunting party" "And don't you play occasionally MAX?" asked Pero as he turned to him, gradually moving deeper into the village "Not like this... But I can show you the other ways I entertain myself if you wish".

Pero frowned and turned his head. For a moment you thought you saw his cheeks turn red. Maybe I imagined... Like that night when we were both around the fire... That night when you told him that his scar didn't bother you, that it gave him a charm, on top of what he already had... But he wouldn't blush in front of this creature... So you put the thought out of your mind and just answer him as calmly as you can. Imagining for a few seconds the two men doing things that you could not name out loud, feeling a certain heat growing in your sex... God, what's happening to me? Pull yourself together!

"It's going to be dark soon, we'll go and inspect the place tomorrow" you say starting to head towards the nearest stable "No, we're going tonight" says Max as he pulls on your harness. You stop completely before dismounting your horse, "We don't hunt vampires at night. "And that's why you spend more time on it, or maybe it works with the little varmints you usually hunt, but with this one you're going to have to make an effort sweetie."

"Don't call her that," Pero says dryly. Max turns around quite surprised by this request, knowing that he doesn't react the same way, when he calls handsome.

You look at Pero who makes you understand that you have to try. You have no choice. So, when night falls and you have taken the time to tie your horses to a tree not far from the church in question, you follow your new travelling companion very closely, remaining more than ever on your guard, being convinced that you are walking into a trap. Nevertheless, you can't help noticing how broad he is, like Pero, and wonder what it would be like to be between these two men in bed...

You obviously don't notice that Pero has his eyes on the same places as you, thinking the same things as you, for a few seconds: what would it be like to spend a night with you in his arms as he has always wished and a man who doesn't repulse him as much as he thought he would... He wonders how he could have attached himself to Max so quickly, secretly starting to like him... He chases his thoughts away when your words bring him back to reality, avoiding a bulge that would have been more than embarrassing at this moment...

"He will feel us coming no matter what…" you say "Not necessarily... In the same way that you humans can't use all your senses correctly when you drink too much..." he says, leaving you to guess what he was about to say next. You don't know if you can believe what he is just told you, but as for the information about their survival, he hasn't lied to you so far... So why not...

The church that the village priest told you about the massacre is still soaked with blood. You feel your stomach lurch, never getting used to the loss of human life and bodies lying around you, starting to give off a putrid smell from the heat. Pero squeezes your shoulder lightly, knowing your aversion to this kind of sight, but you try not to flinch, gripping your sword tighter in your hands.

"We have to..." you start but Max rushes to put a hand over your mouth faster than you can anticipate. You find yourself pressed against his chest, being able to feel every part of his body against yours, his scent intoxicating your breathing space... He smells good, and his body is hard and pleasurable, you wonder what it would be like in another situation, but quickly push the thought from your mind AGAIN, thinking that you're probably just horny for the slightest contact you've wanted to have with Pero for years, and no men has ever satisfied you correctly...

He says nothing and stops in the direction of the open door near the altar, inhaling in that direction. Pero walks around the few benches still standing in his path, sword in hand, leaning against the wall where the door is, where Max is interested. But you notice that Max shakes his head with every step he takes, signalling him to back off. You wouldn't trust a vampire in any situation, but for this one, for Pero, you don't hesitate for a second.

You start to move towards him before Max can realize it, and try to silently reach Pero, telling yourself that if the vampire in the room next to him is there, maybe Max wasn't lying to you after all... But a woman suddenly appeared from the doorway, her face gorged with blood, black veins surrounding her eyes, turning her gaze directly towards Pero, who barely had time to raise his sword to hit her in the cheek, causing her cheek to smoke slightly from the contact of the silver on her skin, followed by a shrill cry and a black look of anger towards Tovar.

He didn't flinch and just tried to give her another blow with his blade, which this time he hoped would pierce her flesh, but she quickly avoided it, laughing, almost amused that you were trying to fight her. You glance behind you wondering where Max might be and see him struggling with another vampire who must have been watching you from behind. The two men are hitting each other with a strength you've never seen before, you've never seen two vampires fight before today... In a split second a second vampire comes up behind him, and you are about to warn him, feeling a sudden concern for him, but you don't need to, before you can see it, he comes up behind the vampire he's standing with facing the newcomer, rips off the head of his first opponent and grabs the new one by the throat to sink his fangs into it and rip out his throat before cracking his neck and dropping him to the ground. You watch him perform all these moves in a few seconds and find yourself slightly excited by this...

You shake your head slightly and come to your senses despite yourself, suddenly finding yourself thrown against one of the walls. A deep pain runs through your body, but you don't pay attention to it, you are used to this kind of feeling and you stand up to give a precise blow of your blade to your opponent, cutting his leg and then separating his head from the rest of his body.

You then grab one of your powder pouches and throw it in the face of the one who is still attacking Pero despite all the wounds he has inflicted on her to try and distract her for a short while. But it doesn't work, and only brings her attention to you. You then grab your sword and thrust it into her arm, driving it as deep as you can.

She doesn't scream, and smiles at you, preventing you from regaining possession of your sword, and grabs you by the throat, lifting you slightly off the ground with her fangs slowly coming out to rest against her lips, until something sinks into her chest and forces her to let go of you "Vete al infierno, hijo de puta" : Pero's sword. She looks at you for a short moment before her body turns completely grey and lies coldly on the ground before forming a pile of ash.

Pero leans towards you and checks your neck, pushing your hands away roughly, "I'm fine Pero... Pero..." Something grabs him by the throat in turn, but as always Pero reacts quickly, and grabs the dagger at your calf to slice the hand around it and turns to face his enemy, another vampire who he inflicts a dagger blow to the leg, knocking him completely off balance.

A hand suddenly appears at your side, you point your sword in that direction. But it's only Max, his hands completely bloody, blood still dripping from his lips, and strangely it doesn't repel you like it usually does, so you grab his hand without any hesitation. "Are you going to help Pero or watch?" you say, pointing in your friend's direction, "He's doing great, I think! We could just go and talk about the little looks you gave me instead of fighting" he says with a smile, pointing to the church exit. But you don't smile and put a more than serious look on your face, "I'm just kidding, sweetheart... I have to talk with our dear Ted anyway..." he says, dropping his jacket on one of the broken pews of the church.

Ted... Does he know him? Of course, he knows him...

He disappears before you can ask him the question and finds himself with his hands around the throat of this Ted, pushing his head down the stone stairs of the church, with remarkable ease " Where is he? " Says Max pulling out his fangs, " You'll never find him, he'll find you before my dear brother does, to kill you, when he'll be done with Tarja, and you'll join them... with your new friends ". he said, laughing. Max put a foot on his back and grabbed his hair and yanked his head away.

You glance at Pero, who doesn't really pay attention to you, staring at Max, who is also staring at him, waiting for an explanation for these last words, but he doesn't say anything and just goes around him and grabs his jacket to leave the church. "Pero..." "I don't think he's lying to us..." he simply said, cutting you off "... He's not lying to us Pero... You should have seen the rage in his eyes when he was fighting them... You know I hate them as much as you do, but apparently we're going to have to trust this one." you say, running your thumb over his cheek to get the blood off it. A hand gently grabs your wrist, and you turn to see Max looking at you with a neutral gaze "If you want to talk about me... Write. I can hear you from far away" he says licking your thumb as he stares into Pero's eyes, who says nothing and doesn't give him a disgusted look as he would like to do, that would be lying to himself and this strange attraction he has to this individual, so he just pass his gaze to you before turning back to the horses, leaving Max's gaze plunged into your finger sucking hold, making your clit swell in your trousers. And as if he could feel it, he smiles, letting go of your finger to head back to the horses, leaving you standing in front of the church confused at what just happened between the three of you.

On your departure Pero decided to burn this place, even though you insist on the discontent of the villagers, he persuaded you, making you admit that no one wants to see what is in this place, that no one should have to see such a massacre…

When you were about to leave, the church cross fell into the field around it, and you watched it burn, upside down, probably announcing nothing good for you...

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

"You could stop looking at everyone like that Pero..." you say sitting in front of your plate in the tavern. "You scare everyone...".

"I don't mind, and I'm not the one who scares them..." he says as he points max up and down with the tip of his fork, making you aware that you are completely covered in blood, probably explaining the extra food the tavern keeper gave you probably scared of you. "And I'm only smiling for you, you know that" he adds silently, letting a simple smile form on your lips, touched by every little attention he expresses, rare as they are, even knowing that you're just a sister to him... It makes you wish he'd say it in another context, one where you wouldn't be just friends.

Your gaze shifts to Max who looks at you tenderly and amused, shaking his head, thinking that you are both blind "Who was that Ted?" you say trying to change the mood at the table. He frowns and doesn't answer, turning his gaze to the people in the tavern who are staring at him. A man completely covered in blood, who hasn't touched a spoonful of his food, accompanied by strangers. With the stories of demons coming to damn the land of your country since you were a child, it doesn't seem suspicious at all.

He then grabs his spoon and takes a portion of soup, without making a single expression. You widen your eyes in surprise at what you've just seen, and Pero frowns in confusion, realising once again that he doesn't know as much about their species as he thought he did, realising that anyone who can blend in could be one of them...“It taste like ashes to me…” say Max quietly, trying to remember what a soup taste like.

"She asked a question," he said, pointing his fork at him. Max smiled at him “It was my brother handsome, and I want you to talk nice to me. I can… feel, that you love to give orders, but I take them only in bed.” Pero didn’t say anything and just frown, faking to not understand what the man was proposing right now and putting some food in his mouth, hiding his desire like he always do with men, usually waiting to be alone. "He was your brother, and you didn't hesitate to kill him, so how can we be sure that you..." you start but Max roll his eyes and cut your sentence "You're not going to doubt me again sweetheart? This is getting lacy and redundant." he says as he puts his spoon down in his bowl"...He wasn't my brother per se... We just had the same maker... Like all vampire in the church tonight..." he says with a smile, but his smile doesn't fool you and lets you see a hint of sadness in his eyes. Something Pero doesn't miss either, something he thought about on your way to the camp, but doesn't say anything about it, interested in his story, nonetheless. "Who are you supposed to join when you die?" he said, breaking the silence around the fire.

He stared at Pero through the flames, and hesitated for a few seconds, but finally spoke, realising that you both trust him a little more every moment, step by step "My wife and daughter..." he said softly, almost inaudible. You and Pero stare at each other, eyebrows furrowed, surprised by this revelation. "I... A vampire child?" says Tovar, pretty sure he's never met one in his life. Max looked at Pero and laughed, "I was human before I was like this, handsome! ... I had a life..." he said sadly, looking into the flames and talking as if he hadn't been able to do so for years. "... I had a farm with my wife in the south of the country, a farm she had always wanted, a farm I had given her with promises of a better life... Our daughter loved the horses we had there... She would wake up and run straight to them every morning, although we told her every morning from the moment she could walk that she had to ask us or tell us... and one evening I asked her to go and check as she always did if all the horses were there..." He paused for a moment trying to smile, probably not wanting to show you that he has feelings, toward the both of you " ... That was the last time I saw her alive. My wife found her completely pale and bleeding in the stable… She let out a scream like I've never heard before. When I arrived, he was on top of her... Already dead with empty eyes, looking at me... and his own face... was so monstrous, soaked in blood, the blood of my beloved... ". he take a little pause, and you let him, putting your hand on his shoulder, before he said something who really broke your heart “I promised her the world to only die on a land of broken promises”

You feel your heart clenching hard in your chest and look at him with compassion, because you can see him as anyone could see him right now that he is not lying to you... Pero hands him a flask not really knowing if he is drinking alcohol or not, but he grabs it, appreciating the gesture and takes a sip before continuing "I grabbed my pitchfork you know... And I tried to struggle against him... But I woke up underground... And he told me later that he liked the fact that I wasn't afraid of him, and preferred to turn me to join him ... I would have preferred to die with them that night... And I was forced to follow him for so many years, I wouldn't have survived a day without it..." he says, passing you the flask.

"You must not be the only one like this” Pero said without an ounce of malice or teasing in his voice as he would normally have seen a member of this species suffer, he was sincerely starting to enjoy the company of this Max Philips, actually sad for him "There's Tarja, who left the clan many years ago before me, and who settled alone near the border in the east... At least that's the last time I saw her there... And if he's after her, she's probably already dead. She wasn't as well trained as us, and much younger..." he says, straightening up slightly and giving you a dry, forced smile.

“If she had lost her family that…” “Oh no it’s more complicated for her beauty… She was a saint in a monastery that he attacked a few years ago… She lost all her children in one night… And he turned her for fun, thinking that a saint with a damned soul would be something fun, I guess…”

Pero frowned his brows and there was silence between you for a few seconds. You put your hand on Pero’s arm and sent him a smile of compassion “… This monastery was in the north? A monastery by a river." asked Pero silently with his eyes closed. "How can you possibly know that you..." “Because your creator did not kill all the children that night...” Pero said, opening his eyes with a dark and sad gaze…

Chapter3

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chapter 24

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.94K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: things are getting heavyyy

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo

If you're still enough, you can hear the inner whispers of your heart.

Have you noticed?

You're able to hear everything you have kept locked away. It tries to break through the cage, and you can feel the chains growing weaker and weaker with each passing moment. Each tick of the clock drawing closer and closer to the moment where you can no longer hold it in.

Where you finally break down.

Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair, the meeting room now empty and dark. It's hard to believe that at the break of day it was filled with conflict and torn decisions.

-

"I'm against it."

At the sound of Yoongi's sharp dismissal, it's as though the room wakes up. Some in protest, some in shock. Suga raises his brow at the reaction, almost scoffing when he sees it.

"It's too much of a risk." He sighs almost in contempt. "If you want her so badly, why not sign her with Source or Pledis? They're our shareholders for a reason. Plus, since we're all under HYBE it will be exactly like she were a BigHit affiliation. Given the way this industry runs, however, she's probably best out of Kpop and should be signed under HYBE America. After all, she is a foreigner."

Though they are harsh, his words make sense. This would be the most logical approach rather than breaking their ban on female trainees. They made the ban for a reason, Yoongi doesn't understand why they would throw that away for someone who is slightly talented.

Besides, what about every other talented girl before her?

What reason should she have to achieve the dream which they were denied?

"I have to agree with Yoongi," Jin speaks up, his brow furrowed in concentration. "She has a unique and beautiful voice, that much is true. It'd be a shame to let it go, but if you think about it, we wouldn't be letting it go. Giving it to another company under HYBE might provide a better chance for her in the industry."

Taehyung bites his lip, not liking where this is going.

Jin glances around the table, hesitating before he says his next piece.

"We just got back, can we trust that they'll accept us if we do this? Next thing you know there'll be rumors of a scandal."

Though it was all on their minds, it still hurts to hear it out loud.

Can they trust ARMY to be there for them this time?

"It is a bit concerning. She'll be the only female trainee in an all-male company. Can you imagine the rumors? The field day Dispatch would have? She'd be hated before she even had a chance to show them her worth." Jhope murmurs under his breath, his eyes sparkling with deep worry.

They've all faced that. The fear of being hated for just being you. For existing without the mask.

"But I liked her," Jimin says, leaning forward. Though his words are simple, they are said with the most sincerity. "She's someone you hardly ever see, her voice stays with you, it doesn't leave. It's the kind that people can't get enough of. That's something special...shouldn't we take that into account?"

Biting his inner cheek, Taehyung glances up at BangPD, wondering if he knows. Did Jungkook tell him? He knew about Yen, why wouldn't he have found out about him as well?

If only he hadn't saved that recording. If only he hadn't been so careless, then none of this would have happened.

Somehow he feels as though those moments are being stolen from him.

"Jimin has a point, Yoongi. Did you hear her?" Jin speaks up, his gaze glazing over as though he were looking into the distance. Or recalling a long forgotten memory. Yoongi scoffs and smirks bitterly.

"Of course I did, I have ears."

"Are you sure?" Jin mutters in response, but it's almost as though Yoongi can't hear him.

"Think of this realistically, you have to know there's zero to no chance of her making it. Even if she's talented." There's a moment of uncomfortable silence at his words, words which no one wanted themselves to say. Sighing, Suga gestures towards Namjoon.

"Come on, Joon back me up here."

The room turns to Namjoon, waiting to hear his response.

He stays silent for a moment, his hand resting on his chin as he ponders the situation, his deep eyes calculating moves and countermoves. Possible situation and solutions.

All while trying to forget that the possible trainee is Yen.

Biting his bottom lip, he can't help but remember the way she was in the studio. How her eyes lit up with unimaginable love and devotion. A look only a fellow artist would be able to recognize. She was made for this, he can tell. She yearns to sing, to be lost in music, enveloped in a world of her own making. To be able to share that with others.

Looking over at BangPD, he narrows his eyes thoughtfully.

"What are you planning to do?"

Yoongi's eyes widen at Namjoon’s question, and he leans back, looking to BangPD's response. Bang Sihyuk smiles softly, almost as though he expected this.

For some reason, that look irks Taehyung.

Don’t think you can control us. We weren’t made for your chessboard.

"It will be on a purely trial basis. I am planning to sign her as a trainee, but the public will not know about it until I am sure that she will be a good addition." He looks towards Suga, pointedly directing his next statement towards him. "I understand your concerns for her. After all, she would be our first female trainee for a while."

Suga bites his inner cheek in protest, leaning back in his chair and brooding.

"However, I have been planning this for a while now." The room goes silent with the revelation as they turn to him, waiting for him to reveal more. "Ever since you've left for the military, I've been thinking of possible trainees to recruit for a new girl group. The first girl group to be officially under BigHit entertainment. They would be managed, produced, and signed underneath our label. Not through a loophole like BE:LIFT, Source Music, or Pledis. This would be ours and ours alone."

Jimin shakes his head in confusion. "Why now? What changed?"

BangPD sighs, his careful eyes scanning the room in a calm and collected manner.

"I don't know entirely myself." He rubs his face before continuing, playing with the portfolio of Yen. "I thought it was time to expand our horizons, to try something new...I guess you could say I was inspired."

He glances towards Namjoon, and Joon can't help but remember that day all those years ago.

The day when BangPD proposed a plan, an inspiration to him, not quite unlike this one.

Namjoon’s brow furrowed in concentration, he turns to your smiling photo, still spread across the table.

Was it you?

Were you the reason for this inspiration?

"In any case, before I moved any further, I wanted to see if things would work out with her. One trainee. I didn't want to make a mistake like last time, hence the trial period." Bang Sihyuk continues, swaying a bit in his chair.

"Who would train her?" Taehyung mutters underneath his breath, unable to look away from your photo this whole time. Turning to BangPD, his eyes are aflame with conviction. "If we have our normal staff take part in her training, we won't be able to control who else could find out. If her existence were to be completely secret, who could we trust?"

It's a valid question, but Taehyung doesn't like the glint Sihyuk gets in his eyes at the notion. Silently, he wishes he never spoke up. Maybe then he would've been able to stay under the radar, and BangPD would never have to suspect he had any affiliation with the girl.

With Yen.

"You would."

Two words is all it takes.

Two words and the room is in an uproar.

"What are you talking about?! We have enough on our plate with our comeback, and now you expect us to train a girl who shouldn't even be here in the first place?!" Yoongi is so outraged that he stands, his chair rolling back into the wall.

"Yoongi, calm down--" RM begins, but Suga isn't willing to listen to anyone at the moment.

"Do you have any idea how much pressure we're under? And now you want to add an inexperienced trainee to our list of burdens just because she can sing?!" he snarls, his lip curling in disgust, his eyes dark with anger.

"Yoongi-hyung, you heard her voice. You have to admit that we found something here." Jungkook speaks up, meekly. Taehyung narrows his eyes his way.

Just what does Jungkook get out of all this? Taehyung knows he has to be the one who gave BangPD the file of your voice. He was the only other one there, besides Taehyung. Taehyung himself couldn’t bring himself to give you the flash drive, but Jungkook didn’t even think to tell you. He went straight to BangPD as though this were his decision to make. Did he even think of asking you what you thought?

What’s your angle?

Yoongi rolls his eyes, gesturing to the portfolio on the table.

"Yeah, we found something. But not something worth risking everything we built over!"

"Don't you think you're being a dramatic? We aren't even sure if this will work out. It's just a trial, and it's the best option for us to train them given the situation." Namjoon murmurs, rationally. Suga's eyes flame with defiance at the rebuttal and slams his hand on the table.

"And what happens if word gets out before we're ready?"

The room goes silent with the ultimatum, and they all avoid his gaze.

"What happens when we're the cause of her downfall?"

Glancing at each other, they ponder the question. A question that has weighed heavily on them ever since they debuted, ever since they became the star in the public's eye. Ever since the world knew about the boy group...

BTS.

Scowling, Yoongi pulls away.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have time for this. I have work to do, work that has been waiting for us for 2 years! Or did you all forget our promise?" When they don't answer him, he scoffs, pulling his backpack on his shoulder and walking out the door. "I'll see you at practice."

There's a moment of silence as soon as Yoongi leaves, silence uncomfortable and pressing. Licking his lips in nervous anticipation, Hoseok looks at the rest of them, almost unsure.

"Is he going to be okay?"

BangPD leans forward, folding his hands on the table.

"Don't worry about Yoongi, I'll talk to him later. But what about the rest of you?"

His quick, analytical eyes scan the table, hovering over every one of them. Almost as if he were trying to predict what exactly they would say next.

"Do you agree?"

-

Now, Taehyung grits his teeth. His grip tightening around the water bottle he was playing with in his hands, he throws it across the wall. As he watches it crumble at the force, he finds the ruin in his mind easing. Water drips off of the wall, and he feels a sort of sadistic satisfaction at the sight of destruction.

Now he’s not the only one broken.

But once that fades, he's left once more with his memories and his regret.

"Dammit." He groans, dropping his face in his hands hopelessly.

-

Standing, Tae grabs Jungkook by the hand before he can follow the rest of them out. The door shuts behind them, leaving only him and Jungkook in the meeting room, an uneasy silence hanging over them. With words they need to say, questions waiting to be answered.

"Taeh--" Jungkook begins, but in his rush, Tae interrupts him.

"Were you there?"

The silence that blossoms between them grows to a deafening roar as Jungkook gently pulls away from Taehyung's firm hold. It creates a bitter but necessary distance between the two of them. It lets them know that they're different, that what happened back then was something that belonged to one as much as it did the other.

"You heard her too, didn't you?" Jungkook murmurs, his words turning Taehyung's blood cold. Smiling softly, Jungkook runs his hands through his hair. "I saw you as you were leaving, you were the one who recorded her, aren't you?"

Biting his bottom lip, Tae can't answer. Even though he knows that moment wasn't his, even though he knows that his ideas of fate and chance have been destroyed, he's unable to admit to it. He can't find it in him to voice the fact that he was there, that he gave birth to her chance, and he wanted it to be his and his alone.

Jungkook chuckles nervously at the silence before speaking once more.

"I wonder...why didn't you have the same idea as me?"

-

His hands tangled up in the locks of his hair, Taehyung stares at the slick wooden table, his heart in knots and his mind jumbled.

"Why didn't I?" he mutters to himself, a soft whisper that lingers empty on the air. "Why couldn't I say anything?"

Pulling away from the table, where Yen's future was decided this morning, he swallows hard. By the end of the day, he found himself lingering around this room, the studio, anyplace that reminded him of her.

Laughing bitterly, he rubs his forehead.

"Why..." He whispers, holding his phone tightly to his chest.

"Why can't I forget you?"

Biting his bottom lip, he quickly messages you, having the sudden urge to see you. Maybe then, would he realize what he can't find? Would he be able to create another memory, another moment in time? One that was yours and yours alone?

After a couple of moments, you don't answer.

Maybe...I was just afraid of letting go.

Standing almost decisively, he rushes out of the room, and down the hallways of the building.

I need to know.

As he rides the same elevator you rode yesterday down to the lobby, he holds his phone tighter in his hand.

If I don't find out now, I may never get another chance.

Desperate, he sends another message to you.

One more time.

Catching his face in the metallic walls of the elevator, he can't help but imagine yours smiling up at him. A face that makes everything seem alright again.

That's all I need.

What happens when that is taken away from him? What happens when he can no longer see the person who gives him courage? Biting his lip, he can feel the pain in his chest grow.

Just let me see you one more time.

He doesn't want to let you go.

As the elevator dings and he steps out, he pauses, seeing Namjoon right in front of him. Namjoon glances up, his eyes glazed over and tired, but when he sees Tae, they widen in recognition. Taehyung smiles inwardly to himself, he knows this look. A look lost in the wilderness of creativity and desolation.

"Oh, Taehyung!" he says, and Taehyung nods to him curtly before brushing past him and continuing to the front door. Namjoon, however, catches him by the wrist and Tae pauses, turning around.

"Namjoon?" His face is blank, but something in his eyes tells Tae to be wary. They are sort of dark, not really there, but urgent and anxious. Taehyung wonders how eyes can hold so many words, and yet tell you nothing at all.

"You knew, didn't you?"

At his words, Tae blinks, his heart pounding.

"I..."

"That's why you followed her, how you knew about her injury."

How does he know?

"When were you going to tell me?"

Biting his bottom lip, Taehyung can't help but feel a bit of aggravation towards his older friend. Why can't he keep anything to himself? Why is it a crime for him to live his own life, without everyone looking in? Yanking his arm out of Namjoon's grip, he scowls, turning on his heel.

"When it became your business."

Namjoon stands there, a bit in shock before rushing forward and taking Tae forcibly by the arm once more.

"Taehyung, wait!" At his touch, Tae tries to pull away, but Namjoon won't budge, his eyes desperate and wild. They unnerve Taehyung, make him want to escape, hide away until everything turns back to normal again. "If she's going to become an idol, any affiliation you have with her will only hurt her."

Tae's eyes widen at his words, snapping a hidden string he didn't know he had inside of him. RM doesn't notice, instead, his grip tightens around Tae until he feels as though he's suffocating from the inside out.

"You know that right?"

Gritting his teeth, Tae pulls away from Namjoon, staggering back until he's a good distance away. Raising his eyes to his hyung, Namjoon finds a look he's never seen in his younger friend before.

Loathing.

"Don't act as though you know everything." He spits before turning away and walking out of the door.

Namjoon sighs as he watches him leave before glancing over at the now empty lobby. The lobby where just a day ago, he met a sweet, cheerful girl. Someone who filled his mind with inspiration and wonder.

Smiling sadly, he rubs the back of his neck, looking up at the sky as though that will offer him the answers he seeks.

"Just who are you, Yen?"

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: this one was actually pretty hard to write, i'm ngl ;-;

chapter 25 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

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[yanderemommabean]

I don't know if you're writing Skyrim anymore. But I just got to thinking of yandere Inigo, finding out his s/o is pregnant. And now he's ten times more protective and possessive of them. He's lost his parents and brother, and he can't bear the idea of losing his s/o and their baby. S/o at first is understanding about why he is acting so protective; but becomes very concerned when Inigo starts acting hostile towards anyone that comes close to them. S/o decides to escape, but it's short lived.

When you first told Inigo of your pregnancy, the khajiit was ecstatic and shouting praise and songs over the wonderful news. You thought he would be supportive, there was no doubt with how kind and loyal he is, but to see him act so happy and thrilled warmed your heart and put you at ease. Honestly, you could’ve sworn he was purring when he hugged you tightly and cheered. 

The coming weeks after, however, his kind demeanor changed and turned into something more extreme. Such as when you bumped into a villager at riverwood and began to apologize. Before you could so much as excuse yourself, Inigo had a bow drawn, and his ears flat against his head as he sneered vicious remarks towards the shaken villager. It was so sudden and so mean, you thought maybe he had a personal vendetta against them, and offered to talk with him about it over a meal at the local inn. 

He simply denied having enemies, at least any left alive, and offered to carry you the rest of the way towards the Sleeping Giant Inn. You couldn’t deny him that request, as he decided for you as you stammer to answer. You were a bit humiliated from the whole ordeal, but things continued to worsen in ways you didn’t think were possible.

Constantly, the khajiit is threatening others, insisting that he protect you and even suggesting - more like heavily enforcing - the idea of you just living in one of the houses you own. You deny the offer again and again, telling him to back off about protecting you like you’re some helpless citizen. You were growing sick of it! You couldn’t even buy supplies without the man hovering over you and threatening the keepers with a subtle gesture to his weapon. “Hurt my friend here, and you won’t live to see the sunset” “Swindling us are you? I have half a mind to cut off those thieving fingers of yours to teach you a lesson!” “Please, allow me to do your adventure today! You will be much safer here in this cozy home, and I will be much more at ease knowing  you aren’t surrounded by vicious, manipulative, disgusting people who wish to hurt our family”. 

His usually quirky, funny personality has done a complete one-eighty, and he’s more smothering than ever. When he’s not snarling at strangers or trying to kill the closest thing that moves, he’s always touching you, talking to you, following you, watching you, and you didn’t usually mind when he did these things before. But now? Now he’s changed from a goofy, well meaning friend to a terrifying and unhinged lover who seemingly hates everything that isn’t you or your growing child. 

Not even the poor farm animals are safe from his wrath, as the chicken who pecked you earlier today was found gutted and plucked in the kitchen, next to an open journal of Inigo’s that detailed his (admittedly humorous) growing hatred for the birds. 

You can’t take it anymore! You need a break, for your health and the baby’s. Would it be so bad to just sneak out tonight and kill a few thugs? Just to relieve some stress and feel like you aren’t seen as incompetent and fragile! You killed the world eating dragon Alduin for fucks sake, you can handle a small group of lowlifes! 

You’re a master sneak, you’ve honed your skills in many guilds and have learned a nice trick or two with a lockpick. You just needed some alone time to let loose, then you’d be back before dawn, and no one would have to know! Right now your cat friend turned guard dog was upstairs resting, hopefully he would stay asleep for a bit longer. If you were quick enough he might not even hear the door open. 

You crept to the weapons room, beginning to search for the beloved swords and bows you’ve obtained throughout the land of Skyrim. You’re irked however, seeing that the bastard had the audacity to hide them, as they weren’t hanging in their display shelves or racks. “What the hell?” You whispered to yourself, irritated beyond words. You rub your small but present baby bump, and try to take deep breaths. Think, think, think! Where would he have hidden them? 

You turn to try and search the storage room, only to bump right into the person you wanted to escape. “Looking for something?” he asked in a dubious tone , his tail swishing behind him as his arms crossed over his chest. You’ve fought dragons without any hesitation, you saved the world from it’s impending doom, and you’ve fought with vile, evil creatures that only few have laid their eyes upon. The blood chilling sensation those scenarios might have caused have nothing compared to Inigo’s tone and piercing eyes. “I was just-” you began, trying to think of a lie, feeling that you possibly crossed a line and may end up hurt somehow. You had no idea what he was capable of anymore, and that terrified you. His hand comes up to cup your face, cradling it gently as he shushes you and pulls you closer to his body. “You shouldn’t be down here...you could get hurt. You’re lucky I got rid of all of those weapons, otherwise you and our child could be in jeopardy.”

His voice was so soft, his touch gentle and like that of the man he used to be, you found yourself leaning into it. It took a moment for his words to set in, and when they did you felt a pang of rage shoot through you. “You what? Inigo those were-” “Highly dangerous. I know, I know. Do not worry, I have many other safety features for us. Such as making sure those locks can only be opened by me.”

(I hope this was ok! -Mommabean ) 

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

Can you do a Duke Crocker imagine, where you're Nathan's twin and you can't feel anything either? Like you've always hated Duke and he jokingly pats you on the back one day and like Nathan with Audrey's touches, she can feel it and starts making any excuse to get Duke to have any contact with her(high fives, random hugs, grabbing his arm when she almost "falls" ect.) And she ends up falling in love with him despite his past with her brother🥺sorry if that's too long

(A/N): I’ve fallen in love with this idea as soon as I got it in my ask box. Thank you so much for trusting me for writing it, dear! <3 I changed your examples of contacts the reader creates to try and make it more logical, so I hope you’ll like what I’ve come up with despite that.

“Show me your teeth.”

You roll your eyes at your brother, Nathan. “I come to see you at work and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

He blinks a few times at you. “Sorry. Hi, (Y/N). Now show me your teeth.”

You reluctantly open your mouth wide, your brother taking his time to inspect each tooth that is very much still in place.

“Show me your hands.” You close your mouth and put your hands in front of you, turning them around a few times. “Now turn around.”

You give out a groan while you do as he says, already tired of these shenanigans.

“You don’t seem to be hurt anywhere. Good.” He gives you a bright smile, satisfied with his inspection. “Someone has to make sure you’re not bleeding or losing any members.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “And is someone making sure you’re not bleeding?” He loses his smile, already knowing what you’re gonna say. “That’s right. It goes both ways. Now show me your teeth, Nathan.”

“Don’t worry, (Y/N).” Audrey suddenly appears next to your brother, the blond putting her hand on his shoulder. “I checked him twenty minutes ago. He seems good.”

You notice him slightly tensing up under Audrey’s touch, his lips slightly stretching out into a small smile when he turns towards her. Nathan told you about Audrey’s specialty; how he manages to feel every single bit of touch she gives him. And though you feel a bit jealous of him, you also feel extremely happy for him. You’d do anything to be able to physically feel something, anything... even the breath of the wind against your face, but you can’t.

“Hey, (Y/N) is here!” Your expression falters down as soon as you recognize Duke’s voice from behind you, already seeing his large smirk inside your mind without even looking at him. “What a surprise!”

You give your brother a glare. “I thought you said he wouldn’t be here today?”

You’ve tried to avoid seeing Duke Crocker most of your life, always feeling pure annoyance whenever he’s in the same room as you, and as of now, you’ve managed to only see him a few times since childhood. You were also sure that you wouldn’t see him today, especially since Nathan told you that he wouldn’t be here.

“I didn’t think he would be.” Your brother turns his eyes towards Audrey, squinting them when he notices a knowing grin on her lips. “But I have a little idea why...”

“Ouch.” You turn your head towards Duke just as he comes to a halt next to you. “And here I thought we could be friends. What did I do to earn such hatred?”

You give him a hard smile. “Look in the mirror and you’ll have your answer.”

He gives out a dramatic gasp at your response, your brother giving out a loud laugh. “Good one!”

“Guys!” Audrey gives you all her ‘big eyes’. “Come on, can’t you get along for once?”

“Nah, it’s okay, Audrey.” Duke gives her a wink, not at all bothered by your remarks. “(Y/N) is just teasing me. She always does. Right, (Y/N)?”

You’re about to let out another remark when he abruptly pats your back, your words dying inside your throat as soon as you realized what happened.

You felt his hands on your back.

You tilt your head at Duke with pure confusion, the man staring back at you with the exact emotion. For once, you weren’t looking at him with annoyance or hatred, and it couldn’t exactly pinpoint why you suddenly weren’t.

“Audrey.” Your brother speaks up, the police officer giving the blond a hard look. “Why is he here?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” Audrey gives him an innocent look. “He’s gonna help us with the investigation.”

“He’s gonna ‘what’?!”

Duke looks away from you to send your brother a smirk. “Audrey said I’d be ‘useful’.”

You blink a few times, suddenly remembering where you are. “I find that unlikely.”

“Yeah, well...” He looks back at you, his smile not at all flinching. “You always do.”

You give him back a hard smile, though not as hard as you usually do. The feeling of his hands on your back still lingers there and partially clouds your mind. You can’t help but wonder if you’ve imagined it. You were thinking about your brother’s situation with Audrey... maybe you were wishing for the same thing so hard that your brain gave you a small exception?

“Anyway...” Duke claps his hands together, looking back towards Nathan and Audrey. “Are we gonna go or are we just gonna stand here like idiots?”

Your brother gives him a glare. “Audrey?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” She grabs her coat from her chair, sending you a smile on your way out. “You’re welcomed to join us, (Y/N).”

“Huh?” You blink in surprise, slowly starting to follow them. “Yeah... yeah, sure.”

“(Y/N) is willing to share a car ride with me?” Duke sends you a grin. “This must be my lucky day.”

“Don’t push it.”

He just laughs at your reaction, none of you noticing Nathan and Audrey exchanging whispering words.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You give a side gland towards Duke sitting next to you, your eyes carefully watching his face as he spits out a large number of words to annoy your brother more than he usually does. Normally you would have shut him up with one of your remarks by now, but the moment from earlier still obsess you. Forget how or why it happened, you have to know if you’ve imagined his touch or not... and there’s only one way to be sure.

“Ow!” You suddenly interrupt Duke by suddenly flicking your fingers against his cheek, his head snapping towards you as he holds his face with his hand. “Why did you do that?”

You ignore him and look down at your fingers, feeling a satisfying pain rushing through them. “... I just had an urge.”

You barely hear your brother laugh as Duke pouts about the pain you put him through, a small smile appearing on your lips as you realize that this is real. You can feel Duke’s touch. Would you have preferred someone else? Absolutely. Anyone but Duke would have been more than welcomed. But are you going to ignore this opportunity life is giving you? Hell no.

You’re gonna have fun with this.

“Oh, stop crying.” You poke his cheek just where you flicked your fingers earlier, a large grin forming on your lips when you feel his skin against yours. “I didn’t take you for a baby, Crocker.”

“What-stop poking me!” He pushes your hand away, a frown on his face as he hears Nathan chuckle in the front. “You’re lucky you can’t feel anything-”

 He gets interrupted by your hands suddenly squishing his face away, confusing spreading on his features.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Trying to shut you up.” You let go of his face, realizing that you might be going a bit too far. “But it’s not working.”

“Guys.” Audrey interrupts your conversation, Nathan still chuckling as he stops the car. “We’re here.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s been more than a few minutes since you’ve arrived at the crime scene, Nathan and Audrey now currently questioning the witnesses. Why were you and Duke even around in the first place? You have no idea. But as the two of you wait around for them to finish, you decide to test your theory a little more.

“Ow!” Duke takes a step away from you as soon as he feels your shoe kicking his leg, his eyes squinting at you. “Okay, what is your problem?”

You lose your grin as soon as he says that. “It’s not obvious? You’re my problem.”

“Yeah, yeah... you hate me, I know. But you’ve never kicked me. Or poked me. Or squished my face.” He points at you, suspicion all over his features. “So what’s the sudden change, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You almost want to curse yourself at how fast you said those words, already knowing that he’s not going to believe that. You almost want to cringe when you see his lips stretch out into a large grin, already dreading the worst.

“Don’t tell me...” His smile gets wider, his excitement suddenly rising. “You actually like me!”

“What-no!” You frown, already shaking your head at him in disgust. “Ew! Never!”

“Aw, don’t deny it.” He approaches his face to yours, his annoying ‘charm’ turning on. “I knew you’d like me eventually. Everyone does-”

You shove his face away with your hands, muffling his words by doing so. “I will never ever like you.”

You truly believe those words, trying your best to ignore the tingling going through your skin after you touched his face. This is not going to change how you feel about Duke. You’ll make sure of it.

But Duke seems to be sure of something else, as he starts to laugh while he gently puts your hands away from his face.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Wuornos.” He gives you a knowing smile. “But I know the truth.”

You realize that you’ve let him hold onto your hands, your mind to enraptured by the feeling of it to let you do anything about it until now. You suddenly pull them back towards you, sending him a glare.

“In your dreams, Duke.”

“Already happened.”

You give out a gagging sound while you walk away from him, his laugh resonating in your ears. You were hoping there wasn’t a blush creeping up on your cheeks, having never been able to feel the heat of it. What you could feel was your heartbeat getting incredibly louder inside your chest, your mind already screaming at it to stop.

This is one of the many reasons why you try so hard to avoid Duke. You try your best to hate him, to despise him... and you do... until you get to spend time with him, and then you have to beat yourself up to hate him again. You don’t want to like him, not after what happened between him and your brother all those years ago... and you’re not gonna let his stupid feeling exception put all of your past efforts to crumble.

So why are you not quite believing that?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Boo.”

You give out a scream when you hear Duke suddenly whisper that word in your ears, already pushing him away from you. “What the hell?!”

“Aw, did I scare you?” He gives you a grin. “Sorry... not sorry!”

You glare at him, feeling your hands starting to tingle from having just pushed him. It’s been a week since you’ve felt anything, having realized that it wasn’t worth risking your brother’s trust. So you’ve started to avoid the crooked criminal again, and it worked. Until now.

Gosh, why did you have to go on a walk today?

“What do you want?”

“To bother you. I think it’s a good payback from last time.” He shrugs, his words already making you groan in annoyance as you start walking away. “I also wanted to see how you were doing. You know? With the whole ‘liking me’ thing?”

“I don’t like you.”

“Hm. Right.” He snaps his fingers before he points at you. “You love me.”

You suddenly stop in your tracks, sending him a glare. “I do not love you!”

He just gives you a large grin as an answer, as if he knew something you didn’t, which only seems to make you angrier.

“What?”

“You’re pretty when you’re mad-ow!” He rubs his arms after you hit it, his grin coming back soon after. “See? You like me!”

You shake your head at him. “How is me hitting you proof that I like you?”

“I don’t know... maybe the fact that you’re blushing?” Your eyes open wide, your hands immediately going to your cheeks to try and feel the heat: but as usual, nothing. “If you don’t believe me, I can fetch a mirror for you.”

“I’m not blushing.” You walk away from him, deciding to just deny everything. “You’re lying.”

“But I’m not!” He follows you close behind, forcing you to stop walking when he suddenly jumps in front of you. “Come on... why are you denying it?”

You glare at him once more. “I don’t need to deny things that don't exist.”

“Is liking me that much of a bad thing?” His question takes you by surprise, and you can almost sense a glint of pain in his eyes. “You don’t have to hate me just cause your brother does, you know?”

“Are you not hearing me when I talk?” You poke his shoulder with your finger, slightly pushing him away. “I. Don’t. Like. You.”

“But I like you.”

You stare at him in shock, your words choking in your throat. “... what?”

“I said I like you.” He puts his hands in his jeans’ pockets, seeming a little less confident than before. “I always have, and I know you like me... so why won’t you just give me a chance?”

“I...” You give out a sigh, rubbing your face with your hands. “Why do you keep saying that I like you?”

He lightly chuckles. “Why did you suddenly start touching me so much?”

“Because...” You hesitate for a second, then give out another sigh. “Cause I can feel you, okay?”

He stares at you for a second, confusion in his eyes. “Huh?”

“When you pat my back the other day.” You cross your arms over your chest, a sense of embarrassment going through you. “I felt that, but I wasn’t sure it was real... so that’s why I kept hitting you and all.”

“... you can feel me?”

“Yeah.” You notice the glint of an idea going through his eyes, frowning. “What are you thinking, Crocker?”

“So if I do this...” Your eyes widen when he suddenly takes your hand in his, his lips stretching out into a grin. “... you can feel that?”

You feel a shot of electricity running through your arm, watching his fingers intertwine with yours. “... what are you doing?” 

“What if I do this....” You shut your eyes close when you suddenly feel his other hand against your cheek, his fingers gently pushing a strand of hair away from your face. “... can you also feel that?”

You feel the warmth of his skin against yours, a shudder running down your spine for the first time in your entire life. You open your eyes again, now seeing him getting dangerously closer. “Duke... seriously...”

“What about this?”

You’ve never been able to feel what a kiss feels like before that moment, your mind screaming the moment you felt his lips on yours. Every little movement he made, every touch of his fingers against your skin felt like little explosions that had dangerous consequences for your heart. You couldn’t think anymore, all you could do was feel, and when he parts away a few seconds later, you can barely hear him talk.

“Did you feel that?”

“I...” A stutter threatens to come out, your free hand slowly raising so you can point at him. “... I hate you...”

He gives out a grin at your answer, noticing the tremble in your voice. “Really? I beg to differ-ow!” He gives out a laugh when he realizes that you’ve hit his shoulder yet again. “Well, I guess you definitely felt that.”

You try to wipe his touch away from your lips, without any use. “Don’t do that again.”

“Alright, I’ll do that again.” He gives out a larger grin. “As many times as you want.”

“You know that’s not what I said!” You realize that you’re still holding his hand, and so you try to free yourself, but without any success. “Duke, let go of my hand.”

“Nope.”

“Let go of my hand!”

“Not until you agree that you like me.” You give out a groan, which only seems to make his grin wider. “I’m waiting...”

“Fine!” You shake your head before you glare at him. “I like you. Satisfied?”

“Very.” He lets go of your hand, a sense of disappointment washing over you when he does. “Now... are you free tonight?”

You squint your eyes at him. “... why?”

“So I can take you on a proper date.”

You stare at him for a few seconds, then give out a sigh. “... you’re not gonna take ‘no’ as an answer, are you?”

His lips stretch out. “Does that mean you’re saying ‘yes’?”

You hated him. You’ve always hated him, just like your brother did. You swore this newfound discovery wouldn’t change anything... but gosh, it did. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

“Yeah.” You give out a sigh. “Yeah... I guess I can go on a date with you.”

“Yes!”

You can’t help but chuckle when you see him throw his fist up in the air in victory.

And you know, maybe... just maybe... this little exception is a hint that this is destiny.

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 25

Chapter title: But Can You Brave What You Most Fear?

A/n: I HAVE HAD THAT ENDING SECTION WRITTEN FOR MONTHS AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED. LOOK THE REST OF THE CHAPTER IS ABSOLUTE TRASH AND I KNOW THAT BUT I LOVE THEM AND IM SO SORRY THAT THIS STORY SUCKS

First | Previous | Next

words: 5000

summary: Tensions run high as the courthouse is under siege

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene,  murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link  

“Liam quiet!” Patton shushes him, keeping a steady eye on his friends. Regretfully he ushers the man towards him, hearing the frantic sounds growing loud as they approach their location. “Its locked, come on” He pleads, Emile finally calmer, trying now to stay calm for the two children. Liam bangs once more on the door but huffs as he joins the group.

“What's the plan?” He spits, ignoring the clear animosity they emanate towards him. Emile pulls out his phone, Willow follows suit, both in frustrated shaking of their devices. Patton swallows trying his, ignoring the photo that tugs at his heart. Logan and him smiling, the twins giggling as they control the men, he shakes away his thoughts trying the numbers.

“Nothing” Patton notes, shoving the reminder back into his pocket. “We need to get out of the open” He cautions, Remus stifles a scared sniffle, reaching for his father. Patton takes him in a heartbeat, cradling the fear-stricken child. Valerie nuzzles comfortably into Diana, her tears staining the lawyers suit.

“Maybe we can find some others?” Emile suggests, his eyes examining the world around him. Patton clicks his tongue, Emile recognizes the face.

“I fear we might be the only people…” He covers Remus’s ears, Diana follows with a confused Valerie “Still alive… and I fear thats exactly how they want it” Patton sighs, wishing he had not ignored so many tell-tale signs. His happiness, this unfiltered joy, he didn't get it, he didn't deserve it, and he sure as hell wasn't feeling it right now. After a petrified moment of silent realization the group moved quickly, the hallowed halls leaving a different sense in the lawyer.

“We should split up” Liam offers, Emile rolls his eyes in a scoff, the remnants of his tears stinging. “We can look for different exits! Its not a bad idea” He whispers his last part, was that...embarrassment? Patton focuses on Remus, the young boys breathing worried the father, soft kisses upon his forehead as the pair argue about Liam's idea. After a resilient ‘Fine’ from Emile, Liam claps his hands. “We have five people, excluding the twins-

“Six” They turn, a breath of relief as James waves. “Looking for an even number?” He jokes through staggered breaths. Patton smiles, a sad twitch but alas. The way he takes charge of the group, overpowering Liam easily brought a happy satisfaction to the father. That was until he made his pairings. “Willow and Diana, go look for exits through the courtrooms” They nod, Patton ignores the soft affection he thinks he witnesses. “Patton, you take the twins and uh… Liam, look through the courtyard and towards the back” The first part made sense, he wasn't leaving his children. He wasn't here to argue, he couldn't upset the children more. Diana, after an apologetic look, secures Valerie in Liams arms. No man should look so disgusted by a child, and yet Liam looked as though he might faint. “Emile and I will look towards the main entrance, the police should have already been alerted. Look above all, stay safe ok?” James squeezes Patton's arm, a comfort as they part.

“Hey, you stay safe ok?” Emile takes Patton aside, He looks the lawyer in his sparkless blue eyes. “Above all, its you and the twins. If it comes down to it…” He glances to Liam, the man stands trying to figure out how to hold a child, the anxiety rises fast in Patton. “Leave him behind, I love you and he is not worth it. Pat?” Emile refocuses the man, Patton agrees knowing he could never do that. They split easily and quietly, each group traversing through the halls.

“So Logan...” Liam begins as the two creep through the offices. Patton scoffs, turning to him, fear hitting him as he looks upon Liam's face.

“Really? Right now?” He questions, this pure hatred wasn't him but at this moment he wanted nothing more than to be home and not here, with...him. Liam shrugs, what else were they going to talk about? How could Patton had fallen for that face so many times, now he simply felt sick, he wanted nothing more than to see Logan. Wake up from this nightmare, his children running to wake him up, Logan's arm lay over him. “Liam, I cant do this...ever...now” Patton falls again, any bit of confidence he had built up...shattered.

“Yes now” A sultry whisper, when did Liam get so close. Patton pushes him away, only a nudge as he remembers Valerie. “Sucks to suck” Liam laughs, god that sound...it pierced. “Come on cupcake, lets be honest, you miss me” Liam tickles, Patton yelps, jumping away. Valerie shrieks as Liam squeezes too hard, she manages to scramble away finding herself safe behind Patton.

“Come here angel” He mumbles, lifting her up, though harder to carry both, he didn't care. “I love you both” He promises, sweet kisses on both of their foreheads. The jump, the stutters, everything he had worked so hard to leave behind fell apart. And now he felt as eggshells were beneath him and Liam controlled his every feeling and step. He was simply a puppet in the mans game.

Bang

Too loud, Patton clutched to the walls, feeling lightheaded. After five years, through every tribulation he thought this, at least this was gone. But as he felt himself sinking and things went up in smoke, he knew...the panic was setting in. And he couldn't breathe. Liam took his side, relieving him of Remus, he helped situate him on the floor.

“Patton you have to get up” Liam requests, Patton shuts his eyes, the only thing he could feel was a shaking Valerie. “Come on cupcake” Liam pleads, and there it was. He knew that voice, he knew that soft spoken beg. ”I love you” He tries

“No Liam! Im done!” Patton cries, his hands tight on his packed bags, Liam stands at the door a snarl upon his pristine face. How Patton's blood ridden face compared was awful, but then...then Liams defenses fell. His lips loosened as his body collapses ready to embrace Patton. “Let me out” A pathetic whisper

“Come on Patton, Im sorry” His gentle tone carried like a song, he took Patton's hands, the bags cluttered the floor. “It won't happen again, please stay, I love you” He lied. A moment of hesitation before Liam wrapped him up, kissing his neck before nuzzling into his neck. And Patton fell for it, every goddamn time.

“Get off of me” He commands, a shallow breath. His eyes open, a dead glare forward. Breathe love, you're okay. With Logans words imprinted in his mind Patton regained himself, taking Remus back with a careful smirk. “I'm with Logan, and I love him” Liam groans, stomping his childish foot.

“What's so great about the lawyer?” Liam fights, Patton couldn't believe they were getting into this right now? “Why is he so good?” Liam grabs Patton, turning him as they face one another. But Patton wasn't going to shrink, not now.

“He's not” Patton swallows, looking at Remus and Valerie's shining faces, happy to be with their father. “He's not good, he's divine” Patton admits, a blush and a flutter at the mere vision of Logan in his mind. “He's my divine” Patton chuckles, he strides away, maybe he was going crazy. Maybe the adrenaline of this tense situation finally caught up to him, but he kept going. With no regard to whether Liam was with him or not.

Because he didn't care about Liam

~~~

“Patton I would like to-” Logan shakes his head, turning onto the highway in the clear night. “Patton maybe we have a moment?” Logan tries, the sour taste on his tongue. “Patton, if you have a brief second-” Its not going to take a second Logan, he chides himself. The streets empty at this hour, the clearing into the courthouse however?

Why was it so crowded?

He parks, a little sloppily but his mind had other ideas. He reaches the door, pushing through the rummoring crowd, finally reaching the ‘do not cross’ tape, the yellow hurting his eyes. He scans the front lines finding Virgil talking to another office, he taps him.

“What is happening?” He inquires, his calm manner hiding his panic. Virgil turns to him, his already sullen face sinks deeper into the dark that surrounds him. “Virgil…” He starts, but the noise finishes the thought for him.

Bang

“Pattons in there” Logan identifies, the whisper hissed. Virgil nods, looking to a seemingly determined Remy. “Emile” He breathes, Virgil bites his lower lip one final time he glances towards a furious Roman. Logan shakes his head. “James too?” Logan was concerned, but the first name stuck. Patton, no doubt the twins. The box in his coat pocket becomes heavy with dread. He fears it may rip through his fabric, dropping through the floor. “Patton” Logan goes again, Virgil recognizes the slight shudder in his voice. He takes his arms, bracing himself, knowing his own grief must wait.

“Im so sorry Logan” He laments, for whatever they must face next. Knowing these hours would be heart wrenching, and Logan wasn't prepared. Logan smiles, its terrifying, he looks just past the tape. Empty, suspension as they await, the swat teams advance but they want to do something.

“Patton, Virge… please I must...I” He struggles, what must he do? So much, he has too. He begins to make a move but Virgils too quick, Remy joins him keeping the lawyer back. “Come on!” He screams, he didn't mean to but the silence felt numb. “Please” He cries, real tears, he hated the feeling but hated this so much more.

“Lo, breathe bud come on” Virgil takes him to where the officers are set up, seating him with some water. Remy rubs his hands together, the small whimper from a baby catches both of the men's attention. Logan's eyes go wide as Remy cradles Thomas, shushing him the best he can through his own fear. He wasn't the only one with something, someone at stake.

“I apologize,” Logan says, Remy turns to him, waving him off. No one had seen the detective so silent. “Let me take Thomas, so you can focus” He offers, a truly grateful look and Thomas sits sweetly in Logan's arms. “Where the north wind...meets the sea, there's a river full of memory” Logan hums gently, watching the curious look on Thomas smile at his intrigue. Remy stops his tears turning back to defenses, an encouraging squeeze from Virgil. “Sleep my darling safe and sound” He rocks Thomas, watching his eyes fall into a sleepy river.

“So we know there's a shooter right?” Remy gains himself, Virgil nods looking over the transcript so far. “We don't know how many or where right?” Another nod, Virgil cringes as he hears Romans stifled fears. He sits next to Logan, both discussing over hushed whispers their worries.

“We know that there have been casualties, and according to our heat signatures...there eight people inside” Virgil explains, Logan perks his ears up, a soft hope as he listens. “We cant seem to track or locate the threats, they must be using something...it also seems they disposed an EMT, we cant communicate at all” Virgil informs, rushing as the situation only worsens.  

“Ok breathe, the team is in there and-”

Bang

But this time accompanied by a scream, at least they were close. Everyone froze trying to identify the noise. Logan pours his energy into calming the baby, letting the world move on without him, ignoring as Remy breaks trying to go beyond his own security perimeters. Wishing he could cover his own ears as the cries, sobs and screams only grew, unbridled sadness oozed from each of them.

“Ok enough everyone!” Haley commands, her declaration silences the crowd. Once joined they become their own pieces, each a story, someone they love and care about. And only eight would be relieved. “Yes ma'am?” Haley points, Logan follows her scowling as Gloria and Arlo strut to them, no concern simply annoyance.

“My son and his partner are in there” She states, Logan furrows his brows...partner?

Oh god

Oh no

“Liam is in there?” He gapes, Gloria looks to him, no qualms as she examines him. “Virgil” He pushes, the detective understands, getting on his walkie. He listens as Virgil warns the swat to arrest Liam when they find him first, for safety measures. “Keep Patton safe” Logan begs, the men can't respond.

“Oh don't be ridiculous” Gloria chides “Im sure he's fine, I mean really this is a tad dramatic” She laughs, Logan goes to say something but it seems Arlo has his own control for once.

“Gloria are you serious?” He exclaims, turning to the shocked woman. “Our son is stuck in there with a monster and lord knows who's pulling the trigger!” He huffs, Logan watches feeling a prideful smile. “Can you for one moment be human and care?” His desperation matches that of Logan and Virgil and Remy and Roman. Logan nods to him, a shared moment.

“This doesn't redeem anything you have done, especially to Barbara and Patton” Logan reminds, Arlo smiles softly. No doubt picturing his children.

“I know, but I hope its a start” They shake hands, before Logan returns his attention to a cooing child, a spark of intrigue as he fumbles with Logans tie. He sat rocking Thomas again, tuning out the absolute panic that spread through the crowd, simply staring straight ahead. Praying that Patton would emerge, a sweet grin as he tumbled forward with the twins.

Thats all he could do

And listen to the constant-

Bang

~~~

“Anything?” James wonders, shaking yet another door. Emile huffs but to no avail as his efforts fail as well. They regroup in the center, going over every move and every door they've tested. Emile picks at his tie, letting the silk calm him.

“Surely the police have been notified and have sent in a team” Emile knows how the precinct works, he's seen this a million times. If he's got his knowledge down, there should be a swat team parading through the building right now, searching for survivors. “What if we just tried to sit and wait?” He proposes, James shrugs no harm no foul. He directs Emile to a hidden corner in one of the rooms, they kneel listening to the solemn silence.  The door opens, they clutch to each other as multiple feet shuffle in.

“Clear!” A voice declares, Emile shakes his head jumping up.

“Not clear! Not clear!” the team turns, as James and Emile approach them. The leading man turns to his walkie, clicking the button to speak through, the emotion that washes Emile as Remys voice speaks back.

“We found two of the eight, bringing them back now, over” He informs, Emile bites his lower lip.

“Copy that, split up the team and find the others” Remy commands, Emile can barely steady himself. The next few moments are pure terror as they walk in the open, following the swat team to safe haven. Every turn petrified the new father, and every small creak stopped him in his tracks.

But nothing hit him harder than coming out into the clearing and seeing an expectant Remy, both eyes locking as the world around them disappears. Remy could have, and should have waited till they reached the line but instead jumping skilfully over, pushing past the team, right up to Emile.

“Remy!” Emile practically sobs, falling safe into his partners arms. Remy squeezes him tight, promising to never let go. “I love you so much” Emile whispers, ignoring more excitement from around them.

“Right back at you” Remy sighs, pulling away through hesitancy. “Come on” He leads them back over, securing Emile behind the line, sitting him down. “Logan” Remy identifies, the lawyer nods placing the sleeping child into the doctor's hand. Granting the trio their moment in time, frozen as happy as they were.

“And you're sure you're ok?” Roman questions rather forcefully, James scoffs with playful laughter. The judge examines his boyfriend, checking every inch of his seemingly safe figure. James takes Romans cheeks, stroking them with gentle affection.

“Im okay, I promise” After a tender kiss, they retreat to a restful place. Sitting with exhaustion through their adrenaline. Logan watches as Virgil stares at them, regretful pools strain his eyes. Logan knows he should comfort him, but he feels numb, the clearing nwo remains empty, no one in or out. Just a pair of anxious, blue eyes, hoping with every last cell in his body.  

~~~

“Where the north wind, meets the sea” Patton hums carefully, the twins napping peacefully in his trembling arms. “There's a river...full of memory” Liam listens, the voice so quiet, the tune carries through his mind, dancing gracefully through the echos of the courtroom. “Sleep my darling safe and sound” Patton continues, sitting in a hidden corner of the room “For in this river, all is found” He promises, kissing them on their forehead as they nuzzle into him. The chill of the room hitting them soon however.

“Thats a nice song” Liam comments, locking the doors after their trail led to a dead end of exits. Now deciding they must sit and wait.

“Logan sings it, it seems to work quite well” Patton dreams, picturing the mans soft face as he sings to the giddy twins. The night stars reflecting on his perfect eyes, twinkling with intrigue for more. Liam rolls his eyes through a grunt, restless he paces. “The more noise you make, the more likely it is for us to get caught” Patton warns, keeping his eyes on his children.

“Whatever” Liam scoffs, kicking the rug below him. Patton shakes his doubts, swaying delicately to keep the children at ease. “Why here? Why now? Why us?” Liam rambles, Patton ignores him, figuring his silly mutterings had no meaning. “What if they're targeting us?” Liam poses, Patton swallows, the thought crossed his mind a couple of times.

“That's ridiculous, who wo-”

“Patton Hart!” A grunged voice screams, the sound pierces yet no source can be located. Liam eyes him with fear.

“You were saying?” He mocks, Patton shushes him, gesturing desperately to hide. Liam obliges through his own scared manner, the shallow breathing heard from both ends. The door crashes open, and Pattons instincts fight. His hold on the twins tightens as he pushes into the plaster hoping he might just melt into the wall.

“Patton Hart!” It repeats, Patton clasps his mouth, ignoring the stifled tears that cascade down his cheeks. “Come out, come out wherever you are” It teases, Liam shakes and Patton prays for once the man keeps his mouth shut.

But no one was there, no one, no human resonated in Liam.

He just was

“Over there!” A timid confession, Patton bites his hand. “P-patton is over there” He knows Liams pointing, he knows in only a matter of seconds everything would be over. “Please dont hurt me” Patton wanted to laugh, how many times had he uttered that same plea, that same beg. To Liam nonetheless. Ironic…

“Go” The voice demands and Liam scatters, his feet echo down the hall before disappearing. Patton was alone, and it was over, he had failed.

“Im so sorry my little angels” He whispers, the twins cry into him, shaking like they could never stop. “Im so sorry” He strokes them gently, hoping they find solace in these last moments, praying they would be spared.

But the universe and whatever higher powers work in a strange way

A strange way indeed

“Get on the floor! Drop the weapon and hands on your head!” Someone new? No...there were many bodies. They filed in, a beautiful rhythm as they surrounded the criminal. It went on but Patton remained frozen, until the last silent drop fell to the room. “Mister Hart?” He dares look up, a man in uniform, bright white ‘SWAT’ letters placated. “You're safe now, lets get you out of here” He offers his hand, he offers an exit from this nightmare.

The next few moments were a motionless blur, they walked calmly through the building. Ignoring what seemed to be the piled bodies, Patton felt empty but refused to let the team help with his kids. Nothing sparked in his eyes as they traversed what used to feel like his home away from home. Nothing was alive, until they reached the crowded clearing. A hush over the crowd as the team appeared, but nothing would compare to when Logan and Pattons eyes met across the tense air.

“Patton” Logan refuses to heed Virgil's cautions about crossing the line, he didn't care. He made his way slowly, a staggered breath before he reached the father. “Love” Was all he could manage, Patton thought he couldn't speak but he fell into the lawyer. Allowing Logan to take his cheek, kissing him so gently. Checking each twin so meticulously.

“Im so sorry” Patton mumbles, Logan laughs, shaking his head. Relieving the clearly struggling father from Remus, the young boy feeling safe instantly. At this moment they didn't care about the commotion, they were here. “I love you” Patton needed to tell him, from the first night to this moment the words had never felt so true.

“I love you” Logan replies, the phrase used to feel so weird as it tickled his tongue, refusing to fall for anyone besides his mothers. But now, it felt like the pieces just fit. “Come on, they cleared the building, lets give you some time” He ushers the family away from noise, watching as Virgil and Roman follow them. “Breathe Patton” Logan assures, squeezing his hand.

God it felt so good to hear it, not a fading memory, but the words imprinted in his mind.

~~~

The air had calmed, and after many ‘Are you ok?’ and angry promises from Virgil the four felt like a machine again. Jokes and jests, Roman and the twins, Virgil and Logan's debates, it felt comfortable. James, Emile and Remy soon joined them and Patton was excited almost, forgetting the event.

He was targeted...and it had failed.

He should feel on edge but something just felt right? He felt safe, maybe that was premature but he was surrounded by people he loved. The conversation only livened and Patton found himself yawning, leaning on Logan who took him with no push back. The box in his pocket became more prominent, the lawyer swallowed standing with Patton.

“So targeted?” Virgil asks, Patton nods, practically relying on Logan for support. “Patton is there something you aren't telling us?” Virgil pushes, the normal expression should not be on Patton. Why was this so ok with him?

“Im vegetarian?” He wonders, awkward laughs but Virgils not convinced.

“Why don't we resume this conversation at a later date?” Logan proposes, aware of the uncomfortable fidgeting Patton does. Murmurs of agreement from the rest of them, a grateful kiss from Patton seemed to shut Virgil down. “We will be back, Im going to get Patton some water” Logan informs, Roman nods his charge of the twins set now.

“Thank you” Patton nudges as they take a stroll through the sleeping building. Logan smiles, kissing his forehead, even though a short separation he had missed him dearly. He decided now was as good as time as any.

Because he was sure

“Can we talk?” Logan asks once further from the group, Patton nods allowing Logan to take him away. Logan takes his hand carefully leading him into the empty room, their steps echo as they step further in, Patton looks around, his eyes marvelled. Logan tugs harder making sure Patton keeps up, he smiles at his boyfriend as the seemingly nervous leads him to the middle of the room. Patton looks dazily around everything, it's just so relaxed and calm.

“Patton” Logan clears his throat, the lawyer turns to him, cocking his head. Logan will never get over the sweet innocence his partner radiates, the absolutely adorable way he composes himself.

“Hmm?” Patton hums, Logan takes both his hands, fiddling with his fingers gently. He can't help the urge, leaning in slowly he kisses Patton softly, surprising the smaller of the two.

“Sorry, I jus-” He's cut off by a gesture of return, Patton cups his cheek as he kisses him back. It's safe to say they both melt. Once he pulls away, he sighs content, shakes his head quickly however. “Ok I have something to say, and I need you to listen” He asks, Patton rubs his thumb against Logan's cheek reassuringly. Logan swoons, shutting his eyes, feeling the warmth against his face. Logan kisses the palm of Patton's hand, allowing the smaller man to giggle.

“I love you starlight” Patton confesses, as he had done so many times before. “Now go, tell me!” He encourages, Logan nods ready.

“Patton...you are the smartest person I have ever met, you never, ever fail to amaze me” Logan breathes as Patton cups his face, letting go was not an option. The room resonated with his love, his words echoed, Patton couldn't miss them. “From the moment you walked into this exact courtroom ten years ago, to this very second, you've been my everything” How do you reciprocate something so strong, how can you explain your own words?

“Lo-” Patton tries, he has so much to say. He's not sure where this is going but damnit if he won’t tell Logan how much he loves him.

“Please, let me finish” He begs, his eyes twinkle, Patton's favorite feature. The absolute excitement in his eyes, the hinted buzz as he generates thoughts. He nods staying quiet at his request “Patton, you are the strongest, kindest, most loving person, and I don't know how” He admits, they laugh dryly. “Im serious, you've been through...quite a lot in your life” Patton shrugs hoping it'll stop the tears. “There aren't words…” He stops, his breath stutters, there really aren't, this overwhelming pang in his chest, the absolute adoration in his eyes. “There aren't words to describe everything I feel...I don't even know what I feel” He says, tilting his head up to stop the tears. He can get through this. Patton smiles, sadly wiping them away for him. “Patton, I love you, from the smile you gave me as you sat down for our first case to the moment you asked if you could kiss me” He reminisces, Patton sucks in a breath, he'd like to do it again.

“Take a breath divine” He requests watching his partner struggle to get his words out. Logan laughs through his sweet sorrow, allowing Patton once more to rub his thumbs under his eye, wiping away more tears. The prickly feeling quickly washed away, replaced by warmth and safety. A promise of love.  

“I-i promise I can get through this” He only half jokes, Patton has to wonder where this came from. Not that he doesnt love it, and that he isn't vibrating to return everything Logan says to him, to give him all the love he so deserves. He removes his hold from Patton's waist, lingering as Patton's hands meet his own. He inhales slowly, a deep breath closing his eyes, he begins his descent and Pattons heart drops. Logan kneels shakily, Patton can feel his hands move fast, Logan goes to his pocket. “P-patton Hart” He stutters, Patton squeezes tightly to his hand. “Will you marry me?” He meets his tear dewed eyes, the bright star behind the glasses. The box he holds out, a beautiful perfect ring awaiting an answer.

“Youve got to be kidding me” Patton scoffs playfully, his heart beats fast he can hear its pulse, Logan feels the panic set in. “Only me” He shakes his head, Logan recoils his hands, feeling a deep flush. Patton goes to his own pocket, a small velvet box emerges. “A walk in the park, everything planned out, under the stars just like you like it” He mumbles, Logan stands, a calm floods him, the urge to scoop Patton up smothering the man he holds so dear overtakes him. “Oh! And yours was so good, I mean yes of course and…” He rambles on but Logans eyes go wide, he cups Patton's face stopping him in his tracks.

“Y-yes? You said yes?” He rushes, Patton nods unphased. “Oh..oh!” He exclaims picking up the lawyer, he spins him around delighted, squeals of laughter are released. He sets him down meeting his lips, Pattons arms make their way around Logans neck returning the gesture. They pull away desperate for air, clutching to each other. “I love you Patton” Patton smiles bright, a toothy grin spread across his face. Logans not sure what happened, the way his frozen smile disappeared so quickly, Logan doesn't have time to register. Had he said something wrong? The shortest breath released as Patton lurches only slightly forward. He had missed the high-pitched ringing that had entered the room seconds before, but he didn't miss Patton falling limp in his arms and the increasing amount of something warm oozing in his hands. “P-patton?” He fears, He descends to the ground with Patton still in his arms. His eyes dart around the room quickly then back to Patton. Everything happens so slowly, he doesnt understand whats happening, until he sees the dark red bleeding from Patton's abdomen. “Oh god...oh god! Patton! No no...no! Help!” He cries, his hands applying heavy pressure to the wound. He hugs him closer, he can't even see anymore, the fogginess and blurriness of his glasses and tears well him up. “Patton! Please! God no! Someone!”

Take a breath divine

I love you my starlight

“Help...” He pleads softly

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Not happening. (Not again)

He sighed in pure annoyance and hatred while walking slowly behind the desperate girl that was running and whimpering for help on that filthy alley.

He didn't even wasted his energy running after, because he knew that no matter what, that girl would always come back to him by force or by will. Especially when she didn't want it any more deaths happening because of her curse...

Nobody understanded. Nobody. Eri's blood was essential for reviving the old man's wish and dream... and to free his dear one from her curse.

He didn't had much time...

~

"Sir?" The doctor spoked aprehensively with Chisaki while you got out from the hospital bed "Mind if we talk for just a bit?... alone?"

He arched his eyebrow in pure disgust and annoyance while you giggled and waved your hands up in the air.

"Is okay! I will get out." You looked at Chisaki with a smile before discretely caresing his gloved hand "I will wait for you outside on the waiting room, right?"

"Be careful." He said simply, the moment you closed the door his body immediately froze while his gut told him subsconciously that.. something bad was going to happen.

This usually appeared minutes before he saw you dying...

"Overhaul sir..." the doctor sighed with grief "About your partner's quirk.."

"Spit it out." He growled while glaring daggers at the doctor.

"... you might want to take a seat." The man showed with his palm at the chair in fron of his desk.

Despite being so aprehensive, and dare he say anxious, he sitted slowly, glaring at him for answers. The man sighed, while locking his hands together on the desk.

"She has not much time left." Kai's eyes widened like they never had before on his life, gloves dissapearing in one blink of a eye.

"..what?" He breathed out, his spine going colder and colder by the infuriating tic and toc from that clock hanging on the wall.

"Her quirk. I treated her father once, so I sadly know the deal..." he looked up at Chisaki with a sour expression "Pardon me for asking... but how many times did she..?"

"... I almost lost count. But I guess it was... 119..."

The doctor winced before taking inhaling, preparing to bring the bad news for the young man in front of him.

"Quirks like that have a certain... limit of atturing themselfs... You can guess that by many times she got weaker and more fragile to some of accidents right?" He saw Chisaki nodding a bit trembly.

"That means her body is not taking anymore... Overhaul, I am afraid to say this... but if she suffers another accident or even much loss of blood... her quirk is not going to work anymore and..."

"Will not... be back." He ßaid in oure horror while the doctor nodded sadly, never once expecting to see such a face on the yakusa boss future leader.

"I am afraid so... Her father died by something so indignant, he fell down some stairs, something that it seems normal for us. But his wife told me that he had presented death by the number 119... just like your partner out there."

His heart dropped to his stomach as his eyes remained wide... one more. One more and you would be gone for real...

"You can't tell me there isn't a fucking cure for this." He hissed teh words, griping on his pants so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Only by a miracle... maybe if her quirl was removed or something, her cells of the body would be slowly recuperating their strenght and health..." he sighed "But that's impossible. Unless you have someone like Eraserhead in your house and keeps using his quirk on her."

He lifted up abruptly from his chair, scaring a bit the man before he nodded and left his room with a bitter and insufferable taste on hsi mouth.

He opened the door and bites his tongue to not just cry and fall on your arms when he saw you reading some magazine and gently waved at him when noticed presence.

One more time.. and he would lose this...

"So. Any bad news?" You asked worriedly before he carresed your cheek, sighing in relief when your face melt in bliss at his touch.

"No. No, nothing of bad news." He lied bitterly before walking besides you "Just warnings for you to be more.. careful."

"Does he know it doesn't depend on me?" You asked sadly, frow returning "It just happens out of no where... you know that."

He sighed trembling before reaching for your hand, pushing you gently for him to be on the side of the street instead.

"I know this better than anyone angel... trust me." He sighed heavily, you tilted your head at his expression.

He wasn't wearing that stoic facade of his... he seemed more... angry? Desperate? Even determined you would guess.

"Kai? Did he said something else?" You pried, only receuving a shake of his head and a squeeze on your hand.

You... had a bad feeling about this... yet, couldn't tell what it was...

~

She stills keep running even knowing that he will get her after... seriously, he knew that childs were dumb but why keep making him waste energy and time?

He doesn't have time for her tantrums. He has to make those bullets for testing, curing his angel and prepared the marketing of the bullets on the underground.

Crush hero society. Cure the world from the hero syndrome. Bring the yakusa back to their glory days.... save his (Y/n)...

Those were the only things that kept him living. That gave a life purpose...

He wouldn't let Pops or his angel down. He knew that. He was going to prove this.

~

"Have you completly lost your humanity Chisaki?" Pops asked in pure horror after interrupting Kai's explanation from his plan.

Again. Again being refused. Why he can't understand that he just wants to repay him?! Is that difficult to get that this is for him and her?!

"... Lost my humanity?" He said darkly, walking slowly towards the elder "You took me in, I just want to repay you."

He lowered a bit his glove with his thumb, the elder catching what was happening before Chisaki continued.

"Lost my humanity you say? Tell me pops. How would you feel if your father figurine turned your ideas down constantly? Or even better yet.." he looked Pops dead in the eye, clenching his jaw while controling himself to not just break down.

"How would you feel if the love and light of your life, simply had a curse that just can't be cured. Keeps dying in front of your eyes every damn time... if you got something to cure them you would take it wouldn't you?"

He aproached even more and his glove fell down...

"Just lay back and relax. Is going to hurt just for a moment."

~

He growled at her sudden pleas starting to come out while she runned and kept looking back at him.

He had to do this. Stop running like a damn pest.

~

"He what?!" You asked in horror while lifting youserlf from the couch, immediately coming to him with hands on his arms.

He was pleased when he discovered that Pops and you grew found of each other... this explained your reaction when he told about his... current condition.

"Kai I'm so sorry..." you said almost tearing while he only stared into your eyes.

"Is not a problem. He is going to be alright soon. I know it." He carresed your cheek before frowing. "What are these clothes for?"

You looked down at yourself and your gym clothes, making a confused noise while looking back at him.

"What's the matter with them? I was going in for a run like I always do. Remember? Around the block?"

His eyes darkened in worry and hatred. No. You couldn't get out. What if something happened?

"You're not going." He growled while you arched a eyebrow at his tone of voice.

He never once lowered his voice with you excluding in some couple fights which were rare... so why?

"Excuse me?" You asked in disbelief "I was going with Ku-"

"Not with Chrono. Not with Mimic. Not with ANYONE." He growled whiel he glared daggers at you "You're not getting out of this place."

You tsked in anger before turning in your feet to walk out before he grabbed your wrist.

"Kai let g-!"

"You're NOT leaving this house. Understand (Y/n)?"

"Give me a good reason then!" You shouted this time, not even caring about how he despised those things.

"You want to just die outside like the other times? Is that it?!" He hissed in pure anger while you gasped in disbelief.

"Chisaki is only around THE BLOCK."

"You can be attacked. Suffer a car accident. Hell even trip in your own foot by how careless you are!"

"Is this worry now?" You laughed bitterly before yanking a bit your hand... without success on getting out of his grasp.

"Yes it is dammit! I'm tired of seing the only light on my dark life dying over anD OVER AGAIN!" He shouted, catching you off guard immediately.

A uncomfortable silence got between teh both of you while he breathed in and out to catch his breath and his compusture back.

He flinched a bit at your hand in his cheek before looking at you.

"I know it hurts... I told you many times that you can let go of me-"

"Like hell I would." He growled, grabbing your hand on his cheek and pressing it even more to hsi face.

You made one of your most sad and broken face before oushing him in for a hug. He catched you again off of guard when he wrapped without hesitation his arms around your waist and buries his face on the crook of your neck.

"... You know that always I will come back to you right?"

He broke at those words... knowing exactly that this time it wasn't true.

He let out a cry and just burried his teary eyes in your neck as his back shocked with every sob pass through his lips.

He couldn't lose you...

~

Ah great... that brat bumped into some hero...

He inhale to remain his compusture and to remain pacient while talking with those socks.

"You should be more careful." He started, Eri looking at him with terror "We don't want to cause any problems for the heroes."

The green haired boy looked up at him with the same look Eri gabe to him while the older and blonde one just gave him a look.

"Let's go home. Eri."

[msladyrosa]

I'm here to tell a story that my heart is screaming at me to tell.

This is me. I fucking hate myself, just as much as I fake loving me. I don't think I've ever been this contempt as I was in these photos. I'm awkward and I fake confidence by throwing sarcastic and snarky comments. My coping mechanism consists of lying and just hiding behind my fake me. I've created a confident, pretty and delusional front that isn't me, but it's just as real as the raw version. My raw is ugly and disgusting and I hate it. I hid it and for the love of the non existent God there is, I wish I didn't have the raw side. I write in my skin, because if I went back to cutting, then I would no longer have pretty skin that people can love. I love eating, but I don't do it, because of the fear of losing my 36,28,42 measurements. I'm suicidal, but heavens forgive if I make a joke about it in order to cope with my insane itch to make my skin purple. My arm hair is soft and the last time I shaved I was scared that someone might see the thin, white lines that are underneath. My body is sexy as fuck, but Heavens forgive me if I actually feel comfortable in it. Thoughts of "they'll be fine without me" or "it's better if I'm not here" are drowned by the words I told someone who was a suicidal as me, "killing yourself would not make the pain disappear, you're just passing it on to someone else". I'm such a fucking hypocrite, or is it just a twisted way of actual introspection? What is wrong with the way I walk funny because I'm dizzy for the lack of food is that people notice. Oh great deity in the sky, please allow them to notice, but forgive them is they dare to ask what's wrong. I look happy and relaxed in the photos, hell yes, but not I'm an anxious mess that's writing this in the middle of a mental breakdown. Parents are never the one's to blame, no forgive them for not validating their children's emotions and struggles. No, strict parenthood creates strong-willed, rightful and successful people that think of themselves as worthless, weak, pathetic excuses. Oh we lie, and we lie good. Ask actors if they had strict parents... You'll find none, why? Because strict parents will inforce you an internalized fear of failure outside of social norms and acting is "a waste of time" to their standards. Support doesn't come from the right sized bra, but it sure as fucking hell is welcoming to be held and somehow relived from a burden you didn't fucking asked for. I was so happy ya'll. I was in cloud nine. That day I had a date with a guy I like that I thought was way out of my league, I lied my way through his pseudo intellectual remarks and he believed it.

We know how to lie so good and so true that eventually you lose track of your actual motive to do it in the first place. Society wants you perky and pretty, fuck yeah they do. How do I get all perky and pretty when I only see disgusting, overdosed surroundings? It's easy to get worried when you finally realize somethings not right. It wasn't right to be kneeling at someone's feet screaming a nasty and raspy wail of pain. 10 years it took me to fucking do that and yet nothing really changed. Now I'm just looked at with pity and the quizzical look that can only mean "when is this one gonna blow up again?" Oh, honey, I won't, you're just worried that you're just realizing this now. It's easy to be outside and just stay that way.

I was so happy, all the time. I was forced to lie in order to move forward. You love me? Yeah, as long as you earn it. Are you proud? Sure, as long as you don't fail. Am I okay because I feel like this? Well, it's fine as long as you keep it in. It's beautiful. "As long as..." my reality had always been subjected to a condition, and clause, a fucking constant reminder that I have to earn my happiness. I have to earn my own idea of self worth that is diluted through your standards. I have to earn reassurance from the people I surround myself. I must assume the best case scenario but I can't be surprised when it's the worst outcome.

Having loved a mad human made me realize how flawed I am. I was happy. So, so happy I forgot I wasn't. I tortured myself through endless nights of doubt, starvation with a full kitchen. Sleepless nights contemplating self harm and then decided against it because I had work and the cute client at work would see how damaged I was. I tortured myself with the idea of loneliness in a see of people, only to realize I've been in that see long enough that I grew a tail and fins. I was plagued my guilt because I didn't love them, but when exactly did it go from happy to uttermost bullshit? I was so happy I forgot what sadness was.

I was so happy it started hurting. Hurting when I failed to do something. It was excruciating when I was not able to buy a car because I had noticed I had spent my money of pleasing those who swore they'd provide for me. I was in pain when I showered and instead of singing, I just blasted music loud enough so that nobody heard my hyperventilating bitch ass. I was in so much pain that I welcomed it as my way of happiness. I loved my pain, because I've had it my whole life.

I had it when I was in forth grade and in order to fit in I had to go a sneak around to kiss a boy, and I didn't want to. It was there when I was accused of fighting other girls, but in reality I was trying to establish my self worth, so I was punished. In fifth grade I loved a boy so much I had written beautiful words to describe how much I loved his smile, and so he said I was stalking him and he got scared; 2 months later I was in a shrinks chair talking about it; fast-forward to last night, that same boy explained to me how much he wanted to fuck me now that he had lost weight. Middle school was terrible. Seventh grade, I was constantly degrading myself because another pretty blonde chick was only my friend when she could laugh through me. I insulted a perfectly great teacher because she noticed my self destructive behavior. Eighth grade came and I was lost with a blonde boy. He was beautiful and I was not. He was friends with the girl that swore fielty to me and he chose someone else and because he chose the pretty pale skin on someone else, I settled for the kid that wantedto finger me in the bleachers during recess. Ninth grade came and I was failing classes, parents were strict and hurtful, but they aren't to blame for my shortcomings. That's when I found myself in the arms of the pretty blonde thing I had fallen for. The pretty girl had him in public, I could only have him when we snuck around and he would hold me and kiss me like holding on to his life line. I was letting him touch me, but my self hatred didn't know no boundaries so I suck to my knees and gave my first blowjob at the top of staircase wearing only a lazy purple bra and the school uniform and the shame I'll forever wear because I did it without wanting to, but because I was expected to.

I was so happy to be out of there, that I ended up sinking deeper into my lie. I was smart, new and vulnerable. That's how I met the wholesome boy I called my first boyfriend who was nice and respectful, but he was as ugly as they come. I was a queen to him, but he was looking more like the ogre on the fairy tale and there came my vanity, my ego, my selfishness. I was brutal and I couldn't care less. High school started with a bang with the boy I played with, and when he got to close to my actual raw person, I kicked him out with a bang and he cried. I just stood there not knowing how to react, so I just went on to the next person I could lead on and play. Junior year I knew was difficult, and a black boy with a nice boy and a promising basketball future came around, I once again craved approval and degraded myself to it. That's how I ended up sneaking around 10 minutes before my parents picked me up. In the second floor, I'd found myself again on my knees, and expected to give a blowjob in exchange for attention, and like before, I was hidden, and I expected to be I had tears in my eyes, but because of my shame. Senior year came in, and the black boy with the attractive body was replaced with another, but this one only had pretty eyes and the promise of spoiling me with his family's money. Once again, I said yes when he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend, at least this time I was not hidden, but I was back in the cycle and I ditched my best friend in a movie theater so that I would be in the backseat on a Dodge, sucking my pseudo boyfriend's dick with tears on my eyes, not becauseofhis size, but becausethe disgust towards myself. Like before, I was expected to do so, and so I did.

Heavens above forgive the religion to blame women for sin and lust, but instead punish us for the boys who couldn't keep their dicks to themselves. The end of senior year came, and I was relieved, but then I fell for the guy my parents liked. Humble background, similar interests, and a promise of stability. I was ditched because for him I was a whore and his friends told him so, I accepted the insults and insinuations.

I was so happy, I forgot the rest. College was great and a religious nut job, a platonic love, a semi smart dipshit with the complex of being over everyone in experience, a quiet mature man that treated me with decency, the suicidal broken guy who needed healing #1 and the suicidal broken guy who needed healing #2, later, here I am.

I was so happy in these pictures, I had no idea was contemplating my own disappearance. I write this with migrane, blue ink from a ballpoint in my thighs, with nostalgic memories of moments where my mind wasn't this crowded. I was so happy it hurt. I guess that my logic dictates that happiness is painful and that my pain can bring me joy, but fuck I was so happy.

I had everything. I was pretty, I was smart, I was important. I'm still all those things, but right this very second, I'm happy, and painful so. Heavens above forgive for I have sinned...

I dared to fail... I sinned

I dared to fall into lust... I sinned

I dared to judge... I sinned

I fucking dared to wake up every miserable day... I had sinned.

I dared to be painfully happy... I sinned

I lied... and so that's my greatest sin of all.

[cocastyle]

Christmas Miracle

Pairing - Stanley Uris x reader

Word Count - 5,591

A/N - just a cute Christmas piece for my boy Stan :)) if anyone else has a Christmas request they would like written, just let me know! I write for so many fandoms so you can check out my master list for character ideas!

Request - could you do a Stan x reader with enemies to lovers but with slight Christmas au pls? @nikitty-to-the-rescue

Mike Hanlon let out a sigh as he set the heavy crate he was carrying down on the ground, slowly standing back up and lifting his hand to wipe at the beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead from the afternoon work on the farm. He didn't pause for long, knowing that the sooner he got done the sooner he could go hang out with his friends.

But the moment he went to grab the crate he was instantly dropping it again, a voice behind him calling out, "Still always working I see."

The crate hit the ground with a loud bang, but Mike didn't even wince as he turned to the owner of the voice, his eyes widening at the sight of his best friend Y/N L/N who he hadn't seen since the previous summer.

"Y/N?" Mike whispered in disbelief. The girl shyly nodded and Mike couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud in excitement before he was running over to the girl, his arms wrapping around her as he spun her around.

Joyous laughter filled the air as the two best friends hugged and Mike was quick to put her down so that he could look at her face. He couldn't help but notice that she had changed in the past year, definitely having grown into her features more and looking as beautiful as ever.

"Look at you, all grown up," Mike teased as he pinched the girl's cheek. Y/N rolled her eyes at the boy and blushed slightly as she smacked his hands away. This only made Mike laugh before he quickly pulled her in for another hug.

Y/N and Mike had been best friends since they were in diapers, the two's families being very close. That meant both automatically had a best friend from day one and the two were so close that they were practically siblings. They were all the other had and for the past year Y/N had been at a private, all girls, boarding school, but she was finally back.

"I've missed you so much," Mike whispered as he hugged the girl tight, trying desperately to hold back the tears as he thought about everything that had happened in the past year— getting bullied by Bowers and his gang, having to deal with the stress of his family, and the events that had happened with It and his new group of friends that called themselves the Losers' Club.

"I've missed you too, Mikey," Y/N said with a smile. She then let out a small gasp before pulling away and gripping onto the boy's arm. "Guess what? You'll never have to be alone again because my parents have decided I don't have to go back to that shitty school again!"

"Woah, seriously?" Mike asked, his eyes widening with excitement. "Y/N, that's great!"

"I know! You don't know how awful it was, Mike. I can't wait to get to spend my time back here in Derry. It will be just like old times," Y/N said.

Mike's smile dropped slightly before he began to scratch the back of his neck. He gave the girl a nervous smile. "Actually, I-I met some people. . .um. . .made some new friends," Mike explained.

Y/N's face fell at that, "Oh."

"But don't worry! They will love you," Mike assured her.

Y/N gave him a confused look. "You want me to meet your friends?" she asked.

"Of course I do. You're my best friend, are you not? They deserve to get to meet the person whose kept my head on my body for this long," Mike joked as he nudged the girl.

Y/N smiled softly at that before nodding her head. "Yeah, okay. I would love to meet them," she said, Mike's smile widening at her answer before he was hugging her again.

Agreeing to meet Mike's friends had been Y/N's first mistake. It's not that she didn't love his friends because she did and the Losers had even been quick to accept her into their group.

Of course there was Mike who was her best friend and like her brother. Then there was Ben who was the sweetest human being she had ever met. There was Bill who was her second closest friend and who was the leader of the group.

Next was Beverly who was the first female friend that Y/N had ever had and who was practically her sister. Then there was Richie and Eddie who were like her brothers, the two being so protective of the girl and dragging her along to all sorts of things like the arcade and the carnival.

It was just one of the Losers that she seemed to have a problem with and who made it their personal job to make her life a living hell—Stanley Uris.

So it wasn't meeting Mike's friends that had been the mistake. It was meeting Stanley Uris that had been the mistake.

Y/N didn't know what it was, but the two never seemed to get along. In all honesty, Y/N had actually been star struck the moment she saw the boy, having never thought she had seen a boy as beautiful as the curly haired boy who she found out to be named Stanley Uris. But the moment he opened his mouth, a scowl appearing on his face as he complained to Mike about bringing Y/N along was the moment their feud had begun.

Not that Y/N didn't think Stan was attractive because she still thought he was probably the most gorgeous boy she had ever met, but his attitude towards her was enough to prevent her from having any sort of feelings towards him except for hatred.

Or at least that's what she thought it was. Because why would she have any sort of feelings towards the boy when he was so rude to her. It was impractical!

Y/N found herself arguing with Stan more than half of the time whenever the group hung out as a whole. One of them always seemed to find something to pick at the other for before their side comments became a full blown argument, both sides going red faced as they practically yelled at each other.

The Losers found it extremely annoying and would constantly tell the two to just kiss to ease the sexual tension that was obviously present, but that would only make the two even more red before they got into another argument about how they would never date someone like either of them.

One of the things that most annoyed Y/N was that Stan thought he was better than her and that everything he said was correct. Y/N couldn't even joke about something before Stan was saying something about how wrong she was and embarrassing her in front of the others.

For Stan, the thing that most annoyed him was the fact that Y/N refused to call him anything other than his full name. And the way she said it. Oh, the way she said it drove him crazy. "Stan-ley," she would say, making sure to pronounce each part of his name so that he was well aware she was calling him his full name. He never found something more annoying than when she did that.

Y/N knew this drove him crazy which is why she continued to call him that. Although a small part of her just loved the way his name sounded, but she would never ever admit that.

The feud between Y/N and Stan was one that went on for years, starting the year that Y/N came back from boarding school when they were thirteen and still continuing to present day when the two had finally reached the age of seventeen.

Y/N would be lying if she said she loved arguing with Stan. In fact, all she had ever wanted from the boy was to just be friends. After all, she had been in awe the first time she met him, so being his friend had always been a secret wish on her wish list that no one knew of. But she had promised herself that if Stan was to continue being rude and throwing hateful comments her way then she would return them.

She had tried the whole being nice to him thing, but that had only made him more flustered and the comments only more spiteful, so all Y/N could do was hope and wait until that one day when Stanley might change his attitude around.

She just had no idea when that day would come.

And on that cold winter's eve, Stan's attitude was the least of Y/N's worries. She was walking through the snow, tears streaming down her face as she hugged her Secret Santa for Beverly close to her body.

Her car was in the shop and her parents were at work so she had to walk through the snow. That had been a big mistake because she had been walking through town and towards Mike's farm house when she had the misfortune of running into Henry Bowers and his gang.

Bowers and Y/N had always had a weird relationship. Henry knew that Y/N was friends with Mike, so he automatically would give her the same treatment as he did the boy. But the thing about Y/N was that she didn't take any of the boy's shit and that only made him angrier. Usually Y/N was able to brush it off, but this evening had been different.

The words Henry had spat in her direction were enough to hit her and they hit her hard. Comments about how ugly she was, about how worthless and disgusting she was had hit her where it hurt. But the moment he had mentioned about one of her exes who had cheated on her after claiming she was 'just not pretty enough' and how he 'wasn't in love with her anymore' and 'could never love her' was when Y/N had broke. The tears that had filled her eyes were enough to make Henry laugh and him and his friends had had their fun by shoving the girl onto the ground and kicking her present away from her grasp.

Now there Y/N was, struggling to keep it together and holding on tightly to the gift that had been lucky enough not to break. It was only when she reached Mike's house that the tears had stopped and Y/N found herself standing outside for a moment just to catch her breath and make sure her face wasn't red from crying before she finally went up to the door and rang the doorbell.

The door opened almost instantly and Y/N was met with the face of a gorgeous red head, her smile almost so blinding that Y/N had to blink a few times. "Y/N!" Beverly cried out in joy as she leapt forward to hug the girl. "Thank goodness you are here! I can only handle the boys for so long you know and they were getting quite impatient."

"Sorry, Bev. I lost track of the time," Y/N told her, letting out a small laugh to cover up the pain she felt. She was going to be early actually, but the run in with Bowers had made her late.

"It's completely fine, Y/N," Beverly assured her as she pulled away to look at the girl's outfit. "I love your sweater! You'll have to tell me where you got it, but for now the boys are talking in the kitchen and I'm sure they'll want to see you."

Y/N nodded and quickly walked in before taking off her shoes and leaving them and her jacket by the door. She kept the present in her hands and dropped it off by the tree in Mike's living room before following Beverly into the kitchen where laughter could be heard.

The girl was instantly hit by the sweet sugary smell of cookies and Y/N couldn't help but smile once she saw the boys all standing around laughing with each other.

"Look who I found wandering outside in the cold," Beverly announced, her voice instantly making the boys all turn to look at the two girls.

"Y/N!" Mike exclaimed happily as he took big strides across the room to wrap his friend up in a hug. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Mikey," Y/N greeted as she hugged him back. "Thanks for inviting us all over."

"Y/N," Bill greeted with a smile as he walked over with his arms out. Y/N smiled warmly at the boy and hugged him before saying, "Bill."

"Okay there, Bill. My turn!" Eddie exclaimed as he pulled the boy away and quickly wrapped the girl up in a hug. Y/N let out a small laugh and went to hug Eddie back, but she was already being pulled back into someone else's arms. The girl glanced up and chuckled once she saw the familiar Tozier smirk as the boy winked at Eddie and said, "Sorry, Eds, but Y/N loves me more."

"Asshole," Eddie huffed as he crossed his arms and walked off to go get a drink.

Richie glanced down at Y/N and smirked before saying, "Why hello there, pretty lady. And how are you on this wonderful evening?"

Y/N rolled her eyes and pulled away from the boy's hold before smiling at him. "I'm doing just fine, Richie. Thanks for asking," she replied. She then turned and smiled at Ben before engulfing the boy in a big hug. Ben was quick to hug her back and that was when Y/N's eyes locked with the last person in the room—Stanley.

The two stared blankly at each other and Y/N silently wondered what kind of attitude Stan was going to be in tonight. But once that all too familiar scowl had appeared on the boy's face as he rolled his eyes and looked away with a small scoff, that was when Y/N knew it wasn't going to be a very good night.

Which was great seeing as she was already having the worst night she'd had in a long time.

Beverly seemed to notice the small interaction between the two and inhaled sharply before putting her hands on Y/N's shoulders and smiling at the group. "Why didn't we go ahead and do our gift exchange, shall we?" she suggested.

"Oh yes! Watch out, motherfuckers. My gift is about to be fucking amazing," Richie proudly stated before walking out of the room and to the living room leaving the others to shake their heads and laugh softly as they hurried after the boy.

After about a half an hour everyone but Y/N had opened their presents. Y/N had made Beverly a scarf and had gotten her a sweater much like the one Y/N was wearing that night which Beverly was excited about. Beverly had Richie and had gotten him a recorder for him to practice his stand up act with and a picture of the whole group which Richie may have teared up a little at the sight of.

Richie had gotten Ben some history and architecture books. Ben had gotten Bill a new journal and some art supplies for his drawings. Bill had gotten Mike a new pair of shoes that he had saved his money up for, knowing that the boy had been eyeing them for a while but wasn't able to pay for them himself.

Mike had gotten Eddie a new fanny pack that read 'Losers' Club' across the front and some of his favorite candy that his mother would never let him have in the house. And Eddie had gotten Stan a couple of books on birds for the mornings he spent bird watching.

That left Y/N as the last one and it didn't take a genius to figure out that there was only one person left who hadn't given out a gift yet. Y/N was silent as Stan reached into his pocket before pulling out a small box which he then held out to her. She gently took it from him and ignored the excited looks on her friends' faces and Beverly who was gripping onto a pillow as she smiled widely.

Y/N gave Stan a small look before opening up the box, her mouth dropping open at the sight of a stunning gold necklace with a gold sunflower pendant. It was beautiful and Y/N felt tears spring into her eyes at the sight of it. She had never been given something like this before.

Her eyes flickered up to Stan and she gave him a confused look, wondering how he knew her favorite flower was a sunflower and surprised at the fact that he had gotten her such a thoughtful gift. Stan's eyes shot up to meet her gaze and he silently stared at her as if he was studying to see if she actually liked it or not.

"Stanley," Y/N whispered, smiling softly before shaking her head in disbelief. "I-I love it. Thank you."

"I'm going to go put it on right now," Y/N smiled warmly, the action making Stan blink in response. The Losers all smiled at that before they began to pick up their own conversations while Y/N got up and began to head towards the bathroom so that she could see as she out the necklace on.

However, she had only just made it to the doorway when a voice called out, "You hate it."

Y/N froze and turned around with a confused look on her face. "What?" she asked, her eyes looking to Stan in confusion.

"I knew it," he scoffed as he stood up, wiping his hands on his pants once before beginning to walk over to the girl. "You hate it. Of course you do. You know what, I'll just take it back and you can use the money however you like."

Before Y/N could process what was happening, Stan had snatched the small box from her. Y/N was quick to grab it back, something that made Stan look back at her with a small look of annoyance.

"Woah. Woah. Woah. I never said that I hated it," Y/N defended herself. "I really do like it, Stanley."

"Your body language suggests otherwise," Stan frowned as he went to reach for the gift again, but Y/N was quick to hold it away. "Y/N, stop being a child and just give me the gift."

"How about you stop being immature and listen to what I'm saying when I tell you that it's a very thoughtful gift and I love it," Y/N argued, her voice raising slightly as her and Stan both narrowed their eyes at each other.

"Please," Stan scoffed. "I know you don't like the gift and it honestly shouldn't be that much of a surprise. You aren't really the type of person to recognize a nice gift when you see one."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Y/N asked, her face growing a little red as she scowled at the boy.

"Guys," Beverly sighed from the couch while the other Losers all watched silently, but Stan and Y/N ignored her.

"You know what it means. Out of all the people I had to get for Secret Santa, I got you, the girl who I can barely even be in the same room with. And you don't even like me gift!" Stan exclaimed. "Do you know how much money that cost me?"

"First of all, I never said I don't like the gift! Second of all, no one made you spend that much money on me. No one!" Y/N exclaimed. "So why didn't you sit the fuck down and let me go out on this very thoughtful gift from you, huh?"

"Guys!" Richie yelled causing the two to turn to him in anger. The boy was quick to put his hands up in mock surrender before sighing and saying, "Do us all a favor and quit it with the arguing, okay? You know what, you two are both stuck in a sticky situation right now so why don't you just kiss and confess your undying love for each other before you kill the night's mood and we end up killing ourselves?"

Stan and Y/N gave the boy a confused look but then they noticed Beverly shyly pointing above them and the two glanced up to see that the doorway they were standing under had mistletoe hanging at the top. The two froze before looking at each other, their eyes wide.

Stan was the first to look away, a grimace crossing his face as he said, "What? Ew, no! Me kiss Y/N? You guys do understand I have better taste than someone like her, right?"

Y/N blinked in surprise, her eyes flickering over to the boy as she watched him pinch the bridge of his nose. "I mean she's stuck up, stubborn, and a pain in mine and everyone else's ass" Stan complained, the utter disgust in his voice being enough to make Y/N flinch.

She was instantly reminded of what had happened earlier that night and she couldn't stop the tears from beginning to prick her eyes as she looked down at her feet. All of the Losers except for Stan seemed to notice this and Bill gave the boy a harsh look before saying, "Stan, st-st-stop."

"No, Bill. I won't stop. Kissing her would be like some cruel punishment!" Stan exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air for dramatics. Y/N stepped back slightly at that and that was when Stan looked over at her. His face instantly fell when she looked up at him with teary eyes, but he didn't have time to say anything before Y/N had turned and was running out of the house, the front door slamming behind her.

A deafening silence filled the air after that and Beverly scoffed before getting up from the couch, ready to go after the girl. Mike was quick to place a hand on her arm and sit her back down, the boy standing up instead.

"No, Bev. He's going to go," Mike said, his eyes locking on Stan who was staring at the front door with a pained look on his face. Stan's gaze shifted over to Mike and he shook his head. "I-I didn't mean to make her that upset," Stan said.

"Yes, you did," Mike replied, the words making Stan hang his head. "But you're going to fix it. Not us. You."

Outside in the steps sat Y/N who was desperately wiping at her face with the sleeves of her sweater as she tried to calm herself down. "Quit being a pussy, Y/N," she grumbled in annoyance. "It's just Stan. His words shouldn't affect you like this."

So why did it hurt so much?

It took a few minutes of her breathing in deeply through her nose and breathing out through her mouth before she managed to get the tears to stop, but she still couldn't bring herself to go back inside. So instead she merely sat there on the steps and stared at the sunflower necklace, wondering why Stan would get her something like that if all he was going to do was tell her that she didn't like it.

The door opening and closing wasn't enough to pull Y/N from her thoughts. It was only when she heard footsteps approaching from behind her before someone plopped down by her side that she finally managed to look away from the necklace and over at the person.

Her eyes instantly locked on Stan's figure and she was quick to look away, her eyes latching onto the snow on the ground instead while she felt Stan's eyes burning a hole into the side of her face.

"What?" Y/N finally asked, her voice harsh as she hugged herself.

"I brought hot chocolate," Stan said, his voice soft and warm, a sharp contrast from the usual tone he used around her.

Y/N glanced over at the boy and he held a cup out to her. She stared at him for a moment before she silently took it from his hands, the mug instantly warming her cold fingers once she had.

The two sat in silence for a couple of minutes, snow falling slowly around them while they both drank from their mugs. Stan was the one that eventually spoke up, his voice breaking the silence of the night as he asked, "What's wrong?"

Y/N turned her head quickly, her eyebrows raised as she asked, "What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you fucking kidding me, Stanley?"

"Woah, it was only a question, Y/N! No need to be a bitch," Stan grumbled.

Y/N's mouth dropped open in shock, a scowl on her face as she asked, "Why are you even out here, Stanley? Cause if you can't notice I really don't need this shit from you right now."

"I came to check on you because you stormed out of there upset!" Stan exclaimed.

"Of course I did! What you said was fucking rude!" Y/N yelled.

"Well my words never seemed to have bothered you before!" Stan yelled, the realization that his words had hit her harder than usual for a certain reason making Y/N's eyes fill with tears once again as she stared at her mug. "How was I supposed to know you were going to be a little too emotional tonight?"

"Just shut up!" Y/N exclaimed as she looked to Stan, hot tears spilling down her face and making Stan freeze in place. "Shut up!"

Before Stan knew what was happening Y/N was looking down and sobbing, her hand going over her mouth as she tried to quiet herself. Stan didn't even know what to do as he sat there. He felt the urge to comfort her, but he couldn't even bring himself to so much as place a hand on her shoulder, afraid that it would only make her more upset.

So all he could do was sit there quietly as he waited for the girl to calm down. It took a couple of minutes, but she finally managed to calm herself enough to start talking again, her voice cracking as she wiped at her tears.

"I got cornered by Bowers and his gang on my way over here," Y/N muttered, the words making Stan still as he looked to her in what looked to be concern. "They treated me like shit, but what else is new? Usually I don't let their words bother me, but then they were attacking how I looked and making fun of me for my past relationships and how I've been cheated on and I just-" Y/N fell silent as she shook her head, trying to collect her thoughts.

"And then I come over here and the one boy whose opinion I care about the most and who doesn't even notice me unless we're arguing makes fun of me and is disgusted at the thought of kissing me and embarrasses me in front of my friends," Y/N finishes with a whisper, a few more tears falling down her face.

Y/N shook her head and quickly tried to wipe at her tears only for them to fall harder and in bigger quantities. "Shit," she muttered with a cracked voice as she continued to wipe at her eyes.

Stan was quick to put his mug down before reaching out and grabbing the girl's hands, the action making her eyes flicker over to him in surprise only to find that his face was inches from hers. Y/N's eyes widened in surprise and before she had time to process anything, Stan was leaning forward.

Y/N's heart began to beat furiously, erupting into a volcano of butterflies as soon as Stan's lips brushed against hers. The kiss was soft and short and before she knew it Stan was pulling away again so that it almost felt like the kiss hadn't even happened.

But it did and boy was Y/N confused.

Y/N couldn't stop the small blush on her face as she opened her eyes and stared at Stan in a stunned silence as she awaited an explanation for his actions. Stan's eyes flickered over her face and he wiped at her tears and sighed before looking down and whispering, "I'm sorry."

"W-What?" she whispered, still confused about what was happening.

"I'm sorry for always yelling at you and for always starting up arguments. I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said. I shouldn't have said any of it and I definitely shouldn't have made fun of you like I have. Something about you has always infuriated me since the day we've met, but it wasn't until recently that I realized it was only because I cared about you. I've been too afraid to admit it and couldn't stop myself from treating you the way that I have. I guess I thought that arguing with you at least meant that you felt something towards me, even if that was nothing more than hate. And all those things I said tonight. . .I shouldn't have said them. I was only being an insecure jackass. I just. . .I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry," Stan whispered as he finally looked back up at the girl before looking back down.

A small silence fell among the two and Y/N stared at Stan with a blank expression before finally whispering, "Stanley?"

Stan glanced up at her, the way she said his name in such a caring and soft way being enough to make his heart flutter.

"I may be an idiot," Y/N whispered, pausing and biting her lip before saying something that made Stan's heart stop. "But I think I might love you."

Stan blinked in surprise, his whole body going still as he just stared at her without saying anything.

"Oh," he finally said, another silence following suit as the two stared at each other, still unsure how this was all happening but both silently thankful that it was.

"Well, I guess we're both idiots cause I think I might love you too," Stan admitted, a soft smile dawning his face as he looked at her. Y/N couldn't help but smile back, a small laugh of relief escaping her lips as the two stared at each other with love filled eyes.

How this was all happening was still a mystery to them both, but deep down, they always knew that this would happen eventually. Their feelings for each other were evident, even if they tried to hide them behind arguments and yelling.

Stan let go of Y/N's hands down that he could stand on his feet before holding a hand out to her, a soft smile on his face as he said, "What do you say we try that kiss under the mistletoe again?"

Y/N smiled at that and nodded before reaching out and taking the boy's hand, their hands nodding together like two puzzle pieces. Nothing had ever felt more right and Y/N still couldn't believe this was even happening.

Together, the two walked back into the house before heading towards the doorway that only moments before they had been standing at yelling at each other. Stan smiled lovingly at the girl and reached out to take the small box from her hands before pulling the sunflower necklace out of the box. Y/N turned around and the boy clipped the necklace around her neck before letting his fingers linger on her neck.

Y/N slowly turned around and Stan let his fingers dance across her cheek before coming to rest on her neck. The two stared at each other in silence, their breaths mingling together as they slowly began to lean in.

Then Stan's lips were on hers and the two had initiated their second kiss, this one being even better than the last. The mistletoe seemed to glisten in the firelight above them and both of them found themselves slowly beginning to smile into the kiss as they gently pulled the other closer to their body. But just when Stan was about to dip the girl to deepen the kiss, they were broken up but the sound of cheering.

"About damn time," a voice said making the couple pull away to see their friends all standing there with smiles on their faces as they cheered the group on.

"It's a Christmas miracle!" Richie cried out, his arms up in the air while Y/N and Stan rolled their eyes at the boy, the girl leaning into Stan who had wrapped an arm around her waist and was holding her close.

The Losers all laughed and Y/N shook her head slightly at the boy before sneaking a look at Stan. It was in that moment that Y/N realized Richie might've been right.

To think the two had hated each other when they first met years ago and now they had just shared a kiss under some mistletoe.

Christmas miracles happened every day. And Stanley Uris? Well, he was Y/N's.

* * *

Permanent Tag List

@marvelismylifffe @roboturtle16 @purplelittlepup @amberkay284 @blogforhoes @artlovingbre @bitch-imma-head-out @the-story-of-the-tucks

[fal-carrington]

Just The Two of Us

Pairing: Kamilah x Mc x Adrian

Disclaimer: The characters are NOT mine.

A/N: I was bored, so I wrote this. I don’t know if it will be continued or will be one shot, so let’s pray for my creativity.

Prompt: After the last night fighting against Gaius, before his fall, he puts his plan into execution, changing the lives of Adrian, Kamilah and Mia forever. Friendships may end, a heart may be broken and a new love may arise. In the end who will win the girl's heart?

@desiree-0816

"Adrian will come, Adrian will arrive," Mia repeated to herself as a mantra, the girl sweated cold, clung firmly to the only thread of hope that was still in her mind. Adrian would arrive, Adrian had to arrive.

Kamilah, on the other hand, stared at him coldly, her perfect jaw closed, her brown eyes no longer present, replaced by red blood

"Well, well..." Gaius, the old vampire king, who had come back from his own sarcophagus, paced back and forth with a cold, charming smile. This man was a real monster, much more scary in person than Mia's visions showed.

Cornered in that ancient temple, Kamilah and Mia had no choice but to succumb to Gaius. Mia and Kamilah were kneeling in front of the stone throne, Kamilah unable to move, trapped under Gaius' control. He was very powerful, Kamilah had fought hard, Mia had never seen her fight so much, trying to resist him with all her might, but unfortunately this time she was not able to defeat him. Behind them they found the rest of the council, stuck to the ground, without even being able to move. The Baron was unconscious, Priya and Lester were the only ones still conscious enough to see what was going on around them.

"...And you all thought it was over. They thought I would not make they pay for what they did to me. Your betrayal.” He clenched his fists with a grim look at Mia. With her breath catching, she felt chills in her body, whatever Gaius had in mind, that was not good.

"Look where your betrayal took you all. And now you’re all are at my mercy, so that I may punish as I please." Gaius's eyes went to Kamilah and he approached her with slow steps, both holding each other's gaze.

"I should have killed you myself that night when Adrian hesitated." Kamilah spat the words, the hatred evident on her face. Gaius watched her, he approached enough to touch Kamilah's face.

"Oh, my queen. Even with two eyes, you still only see half of the picture. Have not you learned anything yet?” He caressed Kamilah's cheek with the back of his hand.

"Just kill me already," Kamilah said between her teeth.” Stop this little game of yours. You want to punish me, death is enough. Is not that what I deserve? Save Adrian, spare Mia."

"I have a punishment for you much better than death. I have other plans for that traitor and the girl,” he said with a cold smile. "Adrian is almost there, we can not let our guest wait. We have a ceremony to do."

"What... What ceremony?" Mia asked.

"It would not be fun if I revealed the surprise." Gaius gave a mischievous laugh.

"Please, please. Do not hurt him.” Mia pleaded through her tears. She cared too much for Adrian to see him hurt.

"Is not love a beautiful thing?" Gaius grinned at the girl. "Your love for Adrian will be your greatest fall, my dear."

"GAIUS!" Adrian's voice echoed through the hallways, Gaius' smile grew even wider, smiling like a madman. Adrian himself was at the temple doors, furious, beside him were Lily and Jax.

"Well, well. Our guests have arrived, huh?” Gaius smiled. “My beautiful prince, who I gave everything and turned him into a god, became a traitor." Gaius's smile disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Release them immediately! If you hurt them... I swear on everything that is most sacred... " Adrian stepped forward, his face contorted with anger. His eyes on Mia, making sure she was okay, just like Kamilah.

"We're saved." The mere thought occurred to Mia's mind.

"Hard words, for a dead man," Gaius said.

"Please do not hurt him," Mia pleaded.

"I will not, my dear. First I'm going to destroy his heart and then kill him."

"Do not even think about it, Darth Vader." Lily pointed her beast at Gaius.

"My, my. Why do not you sit back and relax? The ceremony is about to begin.” He clenched his fists and the flames of the torches grew, the back doors locked, arresting all the vampires and Mia in there. That would be genocide.

Adrian lunged forward, at an absurd pace, but fell to his knees, just like Kamilah and Mia, Gaius controlled him with ease. Adrian tried to loosen up with all his might, unable to contain himself.

"I do not think so." Jax stepped forward with his katana, but even before he could do anything, Gaius twisted his fist and himself was thrown out the window.

"Jax!" Lily shouted. "Oh, you son of—" She aimed her beast at him, but before she could fire, Jameson came up behind her and broke her neck.

"LILY! OH MY GOD! "Mia screamed as she saw her best friend lying unconscious on the floor. "Stop, please!"

"Jameson, let's start the show." Gaius gestured for Jameson to approach.

"Jameson, your filthy rat." Kamilah said between her teeth. Jameson stood beside Gaius, bringing two globets close to him and placing them on a table. He approached Mia with a knife.

"What are you doing?!" she stammered.

"Do not touch her!" Adrian shouted, trying to break free. Jameson pulled out her hand, cutting the palm of Mia's hand, releasing a cry from the girl, letting her blood fall into the globet.

"Now, Kamilah. I believe it's your turn, my queen." Gaius said, Jameson approached Kamilah, who looked at him with a somber expression. Jameson pulled Kamilah's hand hard and did the same in the same gold globet.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adrian shouted with all his might. Gaius took the goblet from Jameson's hands and placed it in front of Mia's face.

"Drink," he said seriously.

"No," Mia denied.

"I'd advise doing what he says, miss," Jameson said behind Gaius.

"Mia." Kamilah looked at her.

"No. Do not drink," Adrian shouted.

"DRINK," Gaius shouted. "Do it. Do it or I swear I'll kill everyone in the blink of an eye.” Mia with no choice, drank from the cup, ending up choking. Gaius turned to Kamilah.

"Are you out your mind ?!" Kamilah shouted. "I will not!"

"Yes, you will! Or I kill Adrian right before your eyes, is that what you want ?! "

Kamilah stood quietly, looking directly into his eyes as she drank the contents with disgust. "Stand up!" Gaius said and they both stood up. "Jameson, you know what to do." He said turning his back and sitting on his throne.

"Is that the part where you sit your big ass on the throne and have your footman kill us?" Mia shouted.

"No..." Kamilah looked at him, it seemed she had finally understood what was happening. Jameson went down the steps, facing the two in his robe.

"Dear friends and beloveds, we're gathered here..." Jameson began to speak, Mia looked from side to side.

"Stop it, stop it now!" Kamilah shouted.

"What is going on?! What's he doing ?!” Mia screamed without understanding.

"You son of a bitch!" Adrian shouted on his knees. "Why are you bonding them ?!"

"To unite these two souls..." Jameson continued speaking, ignoring the commotion.

"Stop it, stop!" Kamilah shouted, unable to move to move forward in Gaius, who smiled coolly. Adrian had finally realized what was happening, the ritual, the blood, the witnesses.

"NO! NO!” Adrian screamed in despair.

"What is he doing ?!" Mia looked as desperate as he.

"You're absolutely crazy!" Kamilah spat the words. "You can’t even think... For gods sake!” She shook her head angrily. “ Isn’t obvious, Mia? This is a wedding of blood." She said between her teeth. The blonde at that moment began to cry, looking desperately at Adrian, wishing he would somehow loosen himself and release her from it.

"Stop it, Gaius! I do not know what you plan on it, but you better stop it now!” Kamilah shouted.

He stood up.

"You betrayed me. You, of all the puppets I created, I gave you the greatest gift of all, I turned you into a goddess, my queen, and you turned your back on me! You protected Adrian, so what's the best way to destroy him, if not for his heart? Marrying his best friend, his blood sister, his confidant, to the girl he truly loves?” He smiled coldly, grinning wickedly.

"You son of a bitch, sick!" Mia shouted.

"...Now, Kamilah, you are bound to her by blood, and she to you, your pain will be her pain and her pain will be your pain, with this marriage, you are united forever. Jameson will make sure of that.” He laughed.

"You want to kill me, do that, but spare Adrian.” Kamilah said, swallowing hard. Leaving her pride aside.

"For centuries I destroyed every lover you had, I made a point of going after each one. Your punishment will be to marry the girl your best friend loves, to see him suffer daily without being able to undo what I have done, and in time, you will fall in love with the girl just like Adrian, and when you realize it will be too late for you. She will age and you will not, and when she dies... It’s you who will suffer the most"

"I'll kill you! I'll tear you to pieces!” Adrian screamed, tears streaming down his face. "Mia, I promise this will not happen!"

"Let's continue, shall we?" Gaius returned to his throne. "Jameson?"

"... To unite these two souls in matrimony." Jameson continued his speech.

"NO! I WILL NOT!" Mia cried with tears in her eyes. "You can not do this, who do you think you are ?! Kamilah and I do not feel anything for each other! You know I love Adrian, you can not marry two people who do not want to! You're no god!” She shouted nervously, in that instant Gaius stood, his face contorted with anger. He twisted his fist, making Adrian and Kamilah scream.

"I'M GOD! And you will do what I tell you, otherwise Adrian will not live long enough to see the sunrise” Gaius screamed clenching his fists, making the screams of Kamilah and Adrian rise.

"... Then upon the eyes of our almighty god, our profane eminence, we prepare to consecrate this union blessed with vows." Jameson continued with his words. Then he went on, ignoring every word, every lament of Adrian, Mia's crying, and Kamilah's hatred.

“Kamilah Sayeed, is it of your own free will that you accept Mia as your mate in marriage?” He turned to Kamilah.

Kamilah moistened her lips, she knew what was at stake, their necks. Adrian would probably die if she denied, or Mia would die, even though she did not have so much affection for the girl, she would hate to see her best friend suffer for her death.

"Kamilah, no. Please.” Adrian begged.

"Yes," Kamilah said quietly enough.

"Mia O'Connell, is it of your own free will that you accept Kamilah, as your mate in marriage?" Jameson asked.

Mia cried, she wiped her eyes trying to stop the crying.

"I can not..." She kept saying to herself low enough. She knew Adrian's eyes were on her. But her eyes met Kamilah, and she knew Adrian would not live if she denied it. "I... Yes."

"So please, join hands and prepare to give and receive the vows of love, which are among the greatest gifts of life," Jameson said. Mia opened her mouth to protest.

At that moment trying to protect the girl, Kamilah took her hands, turning Mia to her. The girl's green eyes met those brown eyes, somehow they expressed a quiet comfort.

"Please," Mia said in tears. "This... This is a wedding. You can not undo it!"

"Do you have any doubts about what I'm capable of doing ?!" Gaius shouted with bright, crazy red eyes, threatening to move forward on Mia. "SAY THE WORD!" He shouted.

"I, Kamilah, receive you Mia, as my wife and I promise to be faithful, to love and to respect, in joy and sorrow, in health and sickness, for all the days of our lives, until death do us part" Kamilah stepped forward, holding the trembling girl's hands.

"Mia, please." Adrian's voice was hesitant, he cried.

"I... Mia, I receive you Kamilah... As my wife and I promise to be faithful." She choked on the last sentence, trying to control the crying. Kamilah nodded for her to continue. "...Love and respect, in joy and sorrow, in health and sickness, for all the days of our lives, until death do us part." Mia sighed, looking briefly at Adrian. Jameson took out what appeared to be two rings from inside his tunic pocket, to Kamilah.

"Mia, I give you this ring as a sign..." Kamilah paused, as if searching for the words. "... As a sign of my affection, and... All my love" She said putting the ring on the girl's finger. Mia, with trembling hands, took Jameson's ring.

"Kamilah..." Mia began, taking a deep breath. "I give you this ring as a sign that I chose you to be my wife." She did the same.

"The parchment," Gaius said with a victorious smile on his face at the sight of Adrian's suffering. Jameson came up with a yellow parchment covered with a tight black paint. "Sign," he ordered.

Kamilah took the quill from Jameson's hands, exchanged a silent look with Adrian, before signing her name. Noticing the gloss of the ink after signing.

"Mia." Jameson handed the pen to the girl. Mia took a step forward looking at the parchment with the name of Kamilah written on it.

"I'll always love you, Adrian," she said, watering her eyes at Adrian over her shoulder, signing her name.

"...And so, having witnessed your exchange of vows before all who are here today, also on the basis of this marriage certificate which you have signed, it is with great joy, with the blessing of our king, that we declare that you are married"Jameson smiled at both of them. "You can kiss her, Kamilah." He gestured.

"We do not have to do that." Kamilah shook her head. "You got what you wanted, made Adrian suffer, the girl cry. We do not need that."

"He did not suffer enough." Gaius smiled.

"Kamilah, please." Adrian begged.

"You know if I do not... You're going to die. And I can not lose my brother.” She said turning to Mia and approaching her, touching both of the girl's cheeks.

"Kamilah..." She cried.

"I know. Let’s end this now" Kamilah nodded, and with that, she kissed the girl. A mere quick kiss, which was enough to make Adrian scream, and seal the union and the bound between them. Kamilah stepped back, looking into the girl's green eyes, her brown eyes softening with empathy, Kamilah wiped a tear from her face. "I hope you're satisfied." She turned to Gaius, who stood up and began to clap.

"Very. It was a beautiful, beautiful show. Did you enjoy Adrian?" He turned to Adrian who was head down. "You all will do whatever I tell you from now on, for I control you all."

"But not us." With that, the front door flashed, Jax staggering and more angry than ever, at his side was his clan. "Do not let him live," he said between his teeth.

Around Mia everything began to spin, her vision became a mere blur. She could feel the sweat running down her face, taking a few steps back, the voices turning into mere echoes in her head. Her mouth was still dry with the metallic taste of blood, her stomach twisting.

"Mia?" Kamilah called her hesitantly as she approached. "... Are you okay?" Mia had been able to hear this, minutes before she lost consciousness.

That night, she had small flashes of consciousness, fallen into Lily's arms, which was kneeling on the floor. Kamilah, Adrian and Jax attacking Gaius, Gaius screaming. And, finally, his last words.

"It does not matter where, no matter when. You will never be able to undo this marriage, which I did today. The girl is attached to Kamilah, will always be bound by a marriage of blood, and it will only be a matter of time until Kamilah falls in love with the girl. This girl will be the end of the two of you.”

[juupajaa]

hi, you! 🌺 you're so great & kind & inspiring (esp. w/ the new songs!). so i hope that, as a long-time lurker, i could fling some worries @ you. i'm starting outpatient soon. but b/c i never got underweight (just close), i can't see myself worthy of my diagnosis; anorexia. b/c disgusting as it is, i kinda romantized anorexia as a teenager (b/c i binged/purged during that time & felt like a gluttonous failure) (1/2)

so now that i've got it, my mind's a mess of pride & bone-deep self-hatred; i feel like i'm rotten for having these thoughts & idk how i'm going to bring it up in treatment, or if i even should? i sought help b/c i realize (on some rational level) that it's dangerous behavior. but @ the same time, i feel like a garbage human like me, who basically brought an eating disorder on herself, deserves to suffer on her own. hope it's okay to dump this on you & that your Saturday has been dope 🌺 (2/2)

Hey there long time lurker, good to finally meet you! First of all thanks, that's really sweet and makes me feel all giddy inside🥰

You know, whenever you feel like you shouldn't say something in treatment you can go right ahead and do the exact opposite. Eds are amazing at making you feel ashamed and confused about everything you say, do or think and it is good to make a very clear mental note to yourself that the shame you feel is your ed and not you. You haven't done anything wrong, it's just your ed making you think so. Your ed will literally blame you for "catching" it, while simultaneously making sure you can't let go of it and that is one of the wildest things I know.

And you know what, I thought my ed was the best damn thing in the world when I was a teenager and got sick for the first time. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret called the honeymoon phase. Here's the stages of eating disorders by a Finnish ed specialist:

So the honeymoon phase is actually quite interesting imo. During the honeymoon phase we absolutely adore our ed bc it is helping us to cope with whatever issues we have at the moment. During this time one might have all sorts of fantasies about how happy they'll be or how much attention they'll get, and one feels powerful and in control and even gets pleasure out of the illness and not a single drop of shame has yet entered the mind. We form most of our disordered thought patterns during this time, which helps us to give our ed more power over us, which in turn does us dirty later on when we don't want to be sick anymore. The honeymoon phase is over the moment you realize your ed is hurting you instead of helping you, yet you can't just shake it off anymore nor get the kicks you used to get out of it.

When my nurses where banging me over the head with this graph, they made sure I realized that the honeymoon phase is short lived and no matter how much we'd like to stay in it forever, it will never last and the suffering phase will hit us every time. A lot of us will have times when we "miss being sick" and those feelings can lead to a relapse. That feeling means we miss the honeymoon phase, where our ed made perfect sense and we really felt like it worked as a coping mechanism, but the truth is, it's never gonna be like that again bc we know it's not helping us and we know it will only get worse, not better.

My point is that it's perfectly normal to "romanticize" your ed. It's literally a stage of the illness. Most of us get sick around our teens and so quite a lot of us are in the honeymoon phase around that time (which explains quite a lot of the pro ana content we see online). But yeah, eds are damn good at making you feel like you're the lowest scum on earth and leaving a mess in your head, but I promise you that mess can be cleaned up and your thoughts reorganised and restored and you're no worse person for catching a brainworm from hell!

I wish you a lot of strength and willpower!! I loooove you lurker, hang in there ❤❤❤