#you thought bc it took me forever to see this that you were safe huh

[kooktrash]

OMGGG YES YES YES TO POWDER BLUE BIKINI DRABBLE!! Maybe in a rough yet intimate “I HAVE to have you right this second because if not I’ll die” quicky because they need to rush bc jieun should be coming home soon all for her to end up leaving soon after because she’s staying at Yoongi’s ?? So now they have all the time in the world🫠

GUYS MY AGE | dilf jeon jungkook drabble

literally just a little continuation and obv outside smut [unedited]

warnings: unprotected smüt. doggy. poolside sęx.

It was hot. It was so damn hot in this house and this entire city—country even! The worst part of the summer is the damn scorching Sun so yes, you will forever stay in a bikini because IT’S HOT.

“I thought you were gonna swim,” Jieun says as she sits next to your chair, “Instead you’re just sitting out here in this heat.”

“I’m trying to tan, if I can anyway,” you said with a shrug lowering your sunglasses, “And what else is there to do?”

“You can come with me and pick up Yoongi because that dumbass told me he didn’t need a ride after dropping his car off at the shop and now he does. That’s a 20 minute drive.” Jieun said with a hopeful smile but you just stared at her. “No.”

“Why!?” “Because I’m sweaty and in a bad mood!” You said jokingly and Jieun knew you were only being dramatic, “So leave me here to die of a heatstroke and go pick up your boyfriend.”

“Fine, you suck…bitch,” with that she smacked the side of your head making you whine as she left with a laugh. You turned back toward the glistening pool debating if you should just drown yourself in cold water. Jungkook had been busy all day, Namjoon was over to deal with some court case for this big company at the moment. Literally the most boring thing ever and to make things worse you’ve been sitting outside in this cute powder blue bikini that he couldn’t even properly enjoy the sight of because Jieun was home.

Don’t ask him where things stand between you and him because he does not know. You haven’t questioned him about your relationship so he assumes right now you two are just fine. That doesn’t mean he’s fine not being able to touch you whenever because he’s not. So the second Jieun came in complaining about the forty minutes drive and back it’d be to pick up Yoongi, Jungkook was already getting excited.

“Alright Namjoon, pack it up, I’ll work on this later.” “Huh?” “Yeah, safe drive.”

Jungkook had never ran to the backyard so fast in his life. You lay there with your eyes shut watching them Orange hues on your eyelids fade to dark making you open them. Jungkook stood over you making you smile, “Hi stranger.” He took a seat on the edge of your laying pool chair, “No one’s home.”

“Is that so?” You asked already sitting up for him to get close to. You wore a powder blue bikini now, small breast cups and very tiny shorts. The fabric was shimmery and the sides were tied together with flimsy strings that could easily come undone with his fingertips. Seeing you every morning lounging by his pool in his house, that he worked so hard for, sitting there looking pretty just does things to him. What’s he going to do when you and Jieun go back to school? You cleared your throat, taking your sunglasses off, “So what do you want to do with me now that we’re the only ones home? We have like thirty minutes.”

“Everything.” With that he pressed his lips against yours roughly, “I have to have you right now because if I don’t I think I’ll die.”

You giggled at that as he trailed his kisses down your neck, hands coming around your chest making you gasp. His fingers slid the small triangles of fabric off your tits, sliding them down the string to expose your nipples as he squeezed them between his fingers. Your body always reacted so quickly to his touch, so eager. He doesn’t think he’s felt this in a long time and your eagerness just makes him that much harder.

You let out a soft moan as Jungkook wrapped his arms around your lower back tightly so he could lift you and put you closer to the end of the chair while he was toward the back, “Ugh what are you going to do when I go? Are you gonna forget about me, Mr. Jeon.”

Goddamn you were so damn dirty. You never called him Mr. Jeon in front of Jieun, only when his mouth was devouring yours. Jungkook held in a breath as you began to grind your cunt against his lap. There was absolutely no concern of being seen outside at his poolside by his neighbors. All he’s thinking about is the way your bottoms worked as a very small barrier between your pushy and his shorts. You both were so eager, so ready to just get on with it—or get it on.

He licked his dry lips, “How can I forget if you send me all those pretty pictures of you?”

It’s been days since the first time and last time you slept together which happened to have all three rounds in one night. It would have been enough for him after three years but now he can’t stop thinking about you now. He came to seriously get annoyed whenever Jieun was home all day, did that make him a bad dad? That he didn’t want his 20 year old daughter home so he could fuck her best friend? And fuck you, he will.

“We haven’t done it like this yet,” you said in a sultry voice as you turned your back to him suddenly and laid down on your elbows and knees. Jungkook’s jaw slipped open at the sight of your rounded ass up for him, your spine arched and your shoulder blade protruding from the bend. Your hair was on one side of your head and you just presented yourself ready to be fucked from behind. Jungkook couldn’t help but to press his hips against yours despite still being fully dressed. He was just amazed by how he fit perfectly between your ass and you made sure to give a small wiggle making him groan.

Neither one of you had the patience to take things slow and with Jieun coming back soon with Yoongi nonetheless, you rushed through things more. Jungkook was nearly fully hard just at the sight of you and kissing so he pulled down the zipper of his pants, slipping them down with his briefs as he pulled his member out. He barely had time to look around and make sure no neighbor was by a window or anything as he pulled your bottoms to one side exposing your wet pussy. Jungkook guided his tip toward your entrance making sure to coat his head with your slick. You were already withering beneath him and he couldn’t stop the smirk on his face.

Just imagine everyone around him knowing he’s about to fuck one of the tightest pussies he’s ever had. You released an impatient sigh, “I thought you needed to have me now! I thought you would die if you weren’t in m—ngh.”

Your words caught in your throat as Jungkook pressed his cock into your folds making you try and relax your body to welcome the strength. Jungkook took pleasure in the way your back seemed to arch like a kitten’s at being touched. He pressed a hand down on your spine keeping you arched for him as his other hand was on your ass backing you into him. He gave you a breathy scoff at your submission, “Don’t raise your voice at me, baby, I don’t like that.”

You groaned in frustration and pleasure as he began to pull his cock out giving you a small thrust back in as you adjusted. Jungkook licked his lips at the sight below him and he couldn’t help but reach for your skid over bottoms, hooking a finger on it, lifting, and letting go. Your body jumped, pussy constricting around his length making him groan as he did it again. Once again you reacted the same, hands stretching out before you on the chair, “Mm, you’re so dirty Mr. Jeon.”

He released a low grunt as you began a steady pace of fucking back on his length and he brought his hands away to watch you fuck yourself using him so eagerly. He stood straighter, hands going to his hair to brush it back as you continued to shake your ass on his dick, soft little moans leaving your lips. He licked his lips as he looked down at the view, hand sneaking down your back to your hair, making only so your hips could move as he gave you a small tug. You forced yourself up as a hand came around your stomach and the other around your throat until your back was arched nearly touching his chest. He slid the hand on your stomach down to your pelvis, keeping you in place as he fucked you deeply, face in your neck as his other hand left your throat and traveled to your exposed tits. You smiled at the way he groped your body while fucking you so dirty, “Look at you, you can’t even control yourself.”

“It’s all because of you,” he growled into your throat, sucking on your neck, marking you, “You drive me so fucking crazy.”

You smiled, hand going over the one he had on your breasts forcing his fingers to grope more roughly, “Fuck, you feel so good.”

He couldn’t help but smile as he lifted your hips enough to grind you down on his member, “So you gonna cum? Jieun could get here any second.”

And you were so close. So close that when he pressed his finger against your folds, finding your clit and softly running over it, your thighs shook. And he enjoyed every second of the way your body was always so quick to react to him that he wasn’t even surprised when you released a loud whine as you came. Jungkook’s lips parted in a low groan at the way your pussy flooded his member with release and though he tried holding you through it, you pushed away from him. Jungkook’s hands tried adjusting your bathing suit back into a soft caress as you tried tearing yourself away from him. Jungkook let you go watching you turn, making him go to kiss you when you dropped down onto your stomach, hand coming around his cock and placing your lips around it.

The action alone was enough to make Jungkook drop down onto his hinds, mouth opening in a low moan as he came down your throat, watching you lick up his and your release at once.

In his back pocket, a buzz was felt and as he reached for his phone feeling you lick him clean, he checked the notification.

jieun: we’re getting dinner and going back to his place. pls let y/n know :)

He couldn’t help the small chuckle that left his lips as you finally got up, tucking him back into his jeans and just like that, his hand was holding your chin bringing your lips to his own, “We have all night now. So wash up for dinner, then we’ll see how the night goes.”

You smiled kissing him softly, “Yes, Mr. Jeon, but I’m going to need help getting clean.”

“So needy.”

“But you love it.”

“‘Maybe.” He likes feeling wanted.

::.

personal taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog @alwaysdreamingnotsleeping @cherrymonlightt @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover7 @saweetspoiled @uwu2rawr @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @tearyjjeon @joons-uparupa

collab taglist: @blueberrysoda a @cupidguk @weirdorathexplora @purpleguk @exactlygreatcoffee @minnie-mouser22 @bangtans-momma @royallyjjk @iceykoo @tae-hibiscus s @happygolucky7777 @taeslarityy y @jeonzll @errewaythings @kmadelin @bloopkook @anjcrbnll @literaturenutz @absolutelyjeons @strawberrysweetness @jungkookminthairwhen @sincerelyflora @twilight-loveer @heartjiminie @outro-kook @blueberrysungie @r0ttenbeans @koo-kz @allfryou @takochelle @kookies-n-spice @bighitbabie e @jjkreblog @queenmasterxx

[free-pancakes]

WRITE A LEVIHAN FIC ADTER THE FIRST WORD YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU SEE THIS LETTER: H

Alright moon, i thought of H for Hawkeye. Not sure if you're a Marvel fan, but here goes. I got a little carried away bc I love an AU where Hange is Hawkeye and Levi is Black Widow.

hope you like it <3

Levi held the tesseract in his hand, staring at its mesmerizing, light blue glow as he held it up to his face.

“Looks like we’re here for the same thing, huh, Mr. Ackerman?”

Levi quickly pulled the cube close to his chest, revealing someone standing on the other side of the room, staring right back at him. Her big brown eyes glowered behind thick-lensed classes, brown hair tied messily in a high ponytail. She swiftly reached back to reveal a bow and arrow, now pointed directly at him.

“If you hand it over, I promise I won’t kill you!” She said playfully.

Levi frowned and grit his teeth in annoyance.

“Are you mocking me, Four-Eyes?”

She laughed heartily— “Well, people usually call me Hawkeye, but you know what? I’ll let you call me that instead!” With that, she launched her arrow at him, Levi’s reflexes so fast, he dodged it right on time. However, he didn’t expect the arrow to explode.

The blast blew Levi off to the side, and soon Hange already had a hand gripped on his arm. He twisted to grab it, throwing Hange down right on her back. Levi reached for his gun, but she was too quick—Hange punched upwards to launch his handgun from its holster, sending it across the room. Levi quickly countered with a kick, sending Hange’s bow sliding across the tiled floor.

Off they were into hand to hand combat, each punch caught by the other, every kick countered with a dodge. Levi was thrown for a loop. He’d met his match.

It was the most frustrating fight he’s had for awhile, yet, he found himself smiling—and he could have sworn he saw a smile on her face as well.

Suddenly, explosions sounded from the ceiling, confusing Levi. Hange had already set the explosives prior to meeting him.

While he was distracted, Hange grabbed the tesseract, but Levi countered quickly, sending the cube flying. Levi ran as Hange scrambled for her bow. When she turned, a huge chunk of debris came falling towards Levi.

“Levi—wait!” She yelled. Luckily, she sent an explosive arrow towards it, blasting it and preventing it from crushing Levi. Smaller pieces showered down, but to Hange’s dismay, one piece of debris was still much too big. Levi stared up and it hit him straight on the head, his vision going black.

Levi woke up suddenly, quickly sitting straight up. His heart raced, and sweat beaded on his temple as he tried catching his breath. Disoriented, he looked around fast, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Once he came to his senses, he gasped and stared downwards—Hange was still asleep, her head rested on his lap. Safe.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he leaned back, staring up at the walls of the metal air vents they had been hiding up in for the last 5 days. Little scratches in the walls of word games, tic tac toe, stupid things to fill the time as they waited on the go from Erwin.

But Levi’s thoughts quickly switched back to dwelling upon his dream—clearly the first time he met Hange had been on his mind, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. They went from enemies to… whatever this was, real fast. This was their 10th mission together, and here they were, stuck hiding out in a small space inside the air vents of a subway station in Budapest. After finishing this mission, Levi would be taken in as a trusted agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. It was crazy how fast the tables turned for him—in a good way, for once.

He looked down, and rubbed the back of his hand against Hange’s cheek to wake her up. Her eyebrows furrowed as she woke, turning up to face Levi, giving him a little smile. Levi ran his fingers over the side of her covered eye, scratching away at the dried blood clinging to her skin.

“Get up, Hange. We have to change the dressing on your eye.”

Hange stretched sleepily, and sat up. Levi grabbed some supplies, and knelt in front of her, peeling the medical tape and gauze away carefully. He brought an alcohol pad, wiping away the dried blood.

“Can you see?”

Hange opened her eye.

“Yes, don’t worry! Though I’ll probably just have a nasty scar to remember this mission together forever!” she exclaimed with a tired laugh. Her persistent optimism never failed to surprise Levi.

“There’s been something on my mind, Hange.” “Oh, and what’s that?”

Levi hesitated, but continued with his burning questions—they spilled out of him so fast he couldn’t control himself.

“Why did you choose to save me that day? Why didn’t you just take the tesseract and run? Why did you think I’d be someone that should work as a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Why—“

Hange laughed. “Suddenly so talkative, Levi!”

Levi grumbled. “Just, can you answer??”

Hange grew silent for once. She thought back to when she was tasked to learn everything she could about Levi, following him all over the world. She remembered when her turning point was—a time when Levi planted explosives in a building, but rushed back in when he realized three innocent children had been lurking around where they shouldn’t have been. And that was when she learned something the world didn’t—Levi Ackerman wasn’t truly the cold-blooded killer everyone thought he was.

And she took her chance on that.

“Hm, well, I could almost say the same to you! Why did you choose to trust me? Why did you decide to stay with us? You had every chance to leave, it’s not like we had you imprisoned or anything this entire time?”

Levi thought about their first meeting—how he had never met someone else that matched an equal combat ability to himself. It grasped his attention quickly. But what really drew him to stay, was that Hange genuinely trusted him, stood up for him… believed in him. No one had ever done this for him since he was a child—only his mother ever did.

Levi laid the new set of gauze on Hange’s eye, and taped it down snugly.

Their true thoughts lingered in their heads, but neither of them could bring themselves to say their reasons out loud. Their eyes met for a moment.

A beeping roused them from their trance.

“Oh, must be Erwin,” Hange said with nervous laughter, trying to ignore the intimate moment they just shared.

She read the alert message. “Levi, it’s time to go,” she said with a serious tone.

“You ready to take down Zeke once and for all?” She said with a devious grin.

Levi smirked. Of course he was ready to fight with Hange—fighting back to back with her might actually be his absolute favorite thing in the world.

“Let’s do it.”

[writingtoforgetreality]

You’re A Winchester? (Castiel x Winchester!Reader)

Request: You are so sweet, is a little sister Winchester reader good? Like in her late 20s that is their sister from another world/dimension, but they don't have a sister in their world? And she is just trying to fit into their family but she is a good hunter? It can be with Cas Meg or both, whatever you are inspired to do :) (by @sourpatchspinster), [Supernatural-Masterlist]

Part Two

Summary: You woke up in the middle of nowhere. How the hell did you get here? The last thing you remembered was being in a motel room & all of a sudden, you found yourself lost with the worst headache ever. Who would have thought your life was about to be changed forever?

Words: 5,270

Warnings: takes place in season 15 bc I want “everyone” to be alive & happy, language (do I still have to mention this?), mentions of our dear friend Chuck, angst?, innocent reader (I don’t know what happened to me during my writing break tbh), not my fav piece but I loved the request so there you go, fluff, (possible second part?), (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Black. That was all you could see. Your head was killing you, it felt like someone tried to crush it with their bare hands. It took you a lot of strength but after a few attempts, you managed to open your eyes & were met with a blue sky. Huh…Did you fall asleep outside? No. WAIT?! Were you captured? No, you were just lying on the grass. Slowly, you got into a sitting position, looking around to figure out where in the hell you were. Unfortunately, your surroundings were unfamiliar. Taking deep breaths, you tried thinking logical for a second. The last thing you remembered was you sitting in a motel room, turning pages in an old diary your family left behind.

You had never met any of your family, growing up in a children’s home because…well, you had no idea if you were completely honest. Throughout the years, you had been to multiple foster families but in the end, you always ended up back at the children’s home. Not that you cared too much. It was not like you ever felt like you belonged with them anyway. On your 18th birthday, Sally, one of the employees, came into your room with a small package in her hand. That was the first time you had ever received a gift.

“It says I should give it to you today.” she handed you the small wrapped gift with a genuine smile on her face.

“What is it?” your curiosity got the best of you.

“Open up & see, I guess. I have no idea.” & with that she left you alone once again.

The day you got the diary was when you left the children’s home for good. You could not believe what you had read. Apparently, you did have a family. Or so it seemed. But why the hell had you never met them? And why the hell did it seem like your family suffered from psychological problems? Schizophrenia? To be honest, you did not care about that. The only thing that mattered to you was that it seemed like you had a father & two brothers out there somewhere. It looked like your mother had died a while ago…

~back to your confused ass self~

Being alone out in the middle of nowhere was not particularly comforting. What scared you even more was that you did not even have your stuff with you. Where was your diary? Your phone did not matter to you that much, neither did your clothes. It was not like you owned much to begin with. But that diary? That meant the world to you. Even after years of unsuccessful searching for your family, you never gave up. Because deep down, you knew you would come across them eventually.

Coming to a standing position, you dusted off the dirt that was on your clothes. A black car in the distance caught your attention. What was a car doing out here in the middle of nowhere? Maybe your kidnappers were driving it & brought you here? That thought let your heart race. Yet, you found yourself moving closer to the car. The closer you got, the more you could make out. Was that a ’67 Impala? Out here? And it looked like it was in great condition? If you had enough money you would buy a similar car & you sure would treat it the same way that the Impala’s owner did.

You risked a look inside the Impala, finding it relatively empty, but before you could spend much longer admiring it, you saw something silver in the corner of your eye. Was that a…door? Okay, yeah, you were definitely kidnapped. But not by professionals, that was for sure. Not the right time to joke? Okay, okay, right. Upon closer inspection, you noted that it was most likely a door to a bunker. Why you did not run right away, you were not sure. Something about this place felt like…home. Huh, weird. How could you be so anxious yet so at peace all at once? Only one way to find out. Oh boy, you would so regret this later.

Before you could think too much, your hand was moving towards the door, ready to push. Surprisingly, it was not locked. You had to push your entire weight against the door to keep it moving since it was so damn heavy. By now, your legs were moving on their own & all of a sudden you were standing inside a…bunker? There was not much to make out because your eyes had to adjust to the dark inside at first.

It sounded like footsteps were approaching fast but because of the echo in the bunker you could not quite tell where they were coming from. There was one thing you did notice, though, & it was the fact that there was more than one person coming your way. Fuck.

“HANDS IN THE AIR!” the click of a gun was followed after the loud voice. Obeying, you put your hands up even though you were sure nobody could see what you were doing anyway. It was still dark after all. Right this instance, light illuminated the room & you were stunned by how big the bunker was. Eyes wide, you looked around, only to find you were upstairs & the voice you heard was coming from beneath you. Gazing around, your eyes fell on two broad looking men, both of them pointing a gun at you. Fucking great. You should have run.

“DOWN. NOW.” the shorter one of the two yelled once again. Not wanting to mess with them, your legs moved towards the stairs & slowly you got down, not once letting your eyes move away from the man with the shorter hair. He seemed like the bigger threat. While the taller man looked scary as hell too, he held something behind his eyes that eased you a tiny bit more.

“Who are you & what are you doing here?” this time it was the taller man who spoke up & you had to take back your previous thought. He was scary as shit, especially with his voice sounding like he was up to no good.

“Um, I-I swear, I don’t know. I-“ but your attempts were cut short.

“Cut the bullshit right there. Did Chuck send you?”

“Chuck?” your eyebrows raised up, showing your genuine confusion.

“Dean, I don’t think she’s with Chuck.” the one with the longer hair mumbled. Dean? Huh. The name made you think of your lost diary again. You hoped you would find it eventually.

“Sit down & start talking.” he was not to be messed with so you followed both men further into the bunker until you reached a huge table. Choosing one of many chairs, you sat down but still eyed the guns that were no longer pointed at you but still very much a threat. The men each took a seat opposite of you, putting the guns on the table in front of them. At least they were not holding them anymore. You noticed you held your breath & again, started taking slower ones to calm yourself.

“I’m Sam & this is my brother Dean. We won’t hurt you, just…who are you?” what a coincidence. Brothers Sam & Dean. Were you dreaming? Of course, why did you not think of this sooner? It would make sense.

“My name’s (Y/N).” your voice was barely above a whisper & your eyes shot down to your lap, suddenly feeling small.

“(Y/N), okay. Well, (Y/N), um, why are you here?” Sam’s voice was a lot softer than at the beginning. Dean had not said anything else, he simply looked at you sternly, still thinking you were a threat. You did not even have weapons on you. Hell, you did not even know how to fight in the first place. But clearly they did not know that. Fuck it, if you were about to die then you could actually tell the truth, right? What did it matter? Your voice was quiet but loud enough so the boys could hear you.

“One moment I was reading through a dia- book & the next I wake up in the middle of nowhere with the worst headache ever. I saw the Impale parked outside & then found the door. I don’t know where I am, I don’t even know why I thought opening this damn door would be a good idea.” a slight chuckle was all you could muster right now. Hopefully they would believe you. When neither of them said anything for a few moments, you looked up & saw them eyeing each other, having a silent conversation.

“What book were you reading?” this time it was Dean but his voice was a lot kinder now. The boys knew you were not a supernatural being, the bunker was safe when it came to that & you would have not been able to enter otherwise. Yet, you were confused by his question? That was really all he cared about? Not the fact that you had no clue where you were or how you got here? Not wanting to anger him, you answered, looking him straight into the eyes.

“My dad’s diary. Nothing special, why?” a noise coming from the entrance made you look towards the door. There sure were quite a lot of people for being in the middle of nowhere. Your conversation was cut short when a voice spoke up.

“Sam! Dean! I salted & burned the bones! Case done! Well, Castiel helped me but he said he was proud of my work.” how could someone sound so excited about…burning bones? What the fuck?

“Jack did a good job today.” the other person spoke up. He was wearing a trench coat & his voice was deep, deeper than the others. Obviously, they had not noticed you yet but a look at Sam showed you how uncomfortable he was. At this point, you were more than confused. Salting & burning bones? Why did this sound familiar though? Shit. No way. Your dad’s diary was filled with salting & burning stuff. What was happening to you?

“Uh, guys…” Sam got up & approached the two men who were called Jack & Castiel. Somehow, your gaze fixed on the man in the trench coat. He looked good. Again, wrong timing, (Y/N). Get it together! Jack & Castiel saw you & their faces turned into confusion.

“Who’s that?” Jack asked, his voice did not scare you, he sounded sweet. He seemed like a kind person.

“Jack, Cas, this is (Y/N). She showed up in the bunker out of nowhere.” Dean eyed you once more before getting up himself. Frustration could be felt & you hated that you were the one causing it. Never was it your intention to cause trouble in their lives but it looked like you just did by opening that damn door.

“Could you all maybe sit down? It makes me nervous when you’re all pacing like that.” you were surprised by your own voice. Usually you were never one to intervene, especially not in a situation like this. But you were exhausted & all you wanted was just to get back to your motel & these were the only people who could help your right now. All eyes shot to you & to your surprise, they began walking towards the table. Sam & Dean, taking the seats opposite of you. Castiel sat down right next to you & you hated how your heart skipped a beat by this simple action. You did not even know this man, he could be a killer. Jack took the chair next to Castiel & Sam made it his job to explain your situation briefly. All you could do was listen, your hands fiddling in your lap, still somewhat anxious to be here.

“Cas? Isn’t there a way you could…I don’t know, check her memories?” Dean added right after Sam finished explaining. Your confused face shifted between the two men, not understanding a single word. How could a stranger help you with your memories?

“I could try. But I need your permission to do that.” while saying the last part, his eyes looked straight into your (Y/E/C) ones. Damn, his eyes. His head tilted slightly & it was only then when you registered that he had asked you a question & you simply stared at him.

“Um, permission for what?”

“To take a look at your memories & see what you remember. We could help you after that.” his voice was so casual, as if he had done this multiple times. To you, though, it sounded like he was crazy.

“Right. And you can do that because…?”

“Because I’m an angel of the Lord.” Castiel stated. A what of the what now? A short laugh escaped you. Not because you laughed at him but because you were shocked & confused.

“Cas…” Sam mumbled & put his head in his hands. That was something he had wanted to keep from you. He had a feeling you had no idea about the supernatural & he wanted to keep it like that.

“You can trust him, (Y/N).” Dean chimed in.

“Will it hurt?” not that you were scared of the pain, your pain tolerance was pretty high but on the other hand, he had just told you he was an angel.

“Only a little.” Cas gave you a reassuring smile & that was when you decided you would let him do it. Because, frankly, you did trust him. Even though he might have some sort of mental illness.

Sam, Dean & Jack left the room to give Castiel some time to prepare & to give you time to calm down. He could tell by the way your leg was bouncing that you were highly uncomfortable but he was not sure how to help. His idea was to get it done quickly & then to bring you back where you came from. Hopefully, you would not ask too many questions. He already gave too much away by saying he was an angel. Replaying your face when he had said it eased him a bit. You did not look convinced at all which was probably for the best.

“Try to breathe more evenly, it’ll help.” you could tell he was trying to make this easier for you but you just wanted to get it done.

“I’m ready, let’s do this, please.” the plea at the end was almost inaudible but Castiel could hear it anyway.

Your eyes closed as you saw Castiel approaching. His fingers touched your temples gently but the next thing you felt was a short but piercing pain shooting through your entire body. It only lasted a few seconds & the only words you could make out before you fell unconscious were “You’re a Winchester?”.

“What do you mean she’s a Winchester?” Dean asked with shock written all over his features.

“She’s related to us?” it was Sam, he took the information way better than his older brother.

“Your sister, to be exact.” Castiel paused briefly, waiting if one of the boys wanted to add anything. He took their silence as a sign of continuing. “Her father’s diary, the one she was reading before she got here, it was John’s.”

“Wait, wait, wait…WE have his diary. There’s no way she has it. Besides, we would know if we had a sister.” Dean gestured with his hands to get his point across. He had never seen you, you could not have stolen the book from them.

“You’re right. But in her world, she was the one owning it. In her world, you guys are her brothers.”

“In her world? What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam decided to join the conversation, now wanting answers himself.

“She’s from an alternate universe. I expect she was reading through a spell or something similar & somehow she got sucked into our reality. From what I’ve seen in her head, the portal closed itself behind her so if she has no idea how she opened it & got here…well, it could be hard to bring her back. Besides, I’m not so sure she wants to go back there…” Castiel’s voice got quieter at the end of his sentence.

“Why not?” Dean imagined himself in your situation & he would do anything to get back.

“It’s not really my place to tell, I believe.” & before Dean could argue any further, Jack came running into the room.

“(Y/N)’s awake.” to that everyone followed behind him to one of the many bedrooms the bunker had to offer.

You were tired but the pain had completely disappeared. No matter how hard you tried, you still could not remember how exactly you got here. The door creaked & you looked up to find Sam, Dean, Castiel & Jack entering the room. You were no longer scared. Probably because you were way too exhausted to care.

“So?” you spoke up after a few seconds of silence. Castiel stepped forward & took a seat at the end of the bed you were lying in. His ocean blue eyes looked you over, making sure you no longer were in any pain. You nodded at him to show you were fine & with that Castiel told you what he had seen. It was a lot to take in but your tired state simply made you nod at everything he explained.

“The thing is…We don’t know how to get you back.” Sam approached you slowly, took a seat in a chair next to your bed.

“Cas?” ignoring Sam’s statement, you only had one question on your mind. Back in your world, you had spent years looking for your family. For your brothers. The ones being in the same room with you right now. Also, when did you start calling Castiel by his nickname? When did that happen? His humming gave you enough confidence to continue.

“Are they alive back home?” you did not have to mention names for Castiel to know who you were referring to. His face turned into one of sadness & you knew the answer without him saying anything.

“I don’t wanna go back.” every ounce of uncertainty was gone, you knew it was fate that you were here with all of them now. The four men shared a look, having a silent conversation again. Dean nodded but left the room a second later.

“Don’t mind him, he just needs time to process.” Sam’s sympathetic smile relaxed you a bit. The bunker was nice, so was the fact that you practically met your brothers but you were not planning on staying with them. Dean’s reaction showed you why. They had lived their lives without knowing they had a sister. You, on the other hand, had known about your brothers for years & yet you did not feel the satisfaction you had so desperately hoped for after finally finding them.

“It’s fine, I’ll get going soon.” with that, you sat up straight & tried standing up. A wave of dizziness kept you from doing so. Castiel was at your side in an instant & guided you back down.

“You need to rest.” he told you.

“You’re not staying?” Jack’s voice erupted from the door. You had almost forgotten he was there too. Your eyes focused on him briefly before you looked back down again, a blush slowly making its way up  on your cheeks.

“It’s for the better. I’ll be fine.”

“(Y/N). You’re our sister. Doesn’t matter if you’re from here or from another world. You’re family. We just found each other, we won’t let you leave again.” Sam’s words made you tear up. He did not know you, yet he told you that you were family & he wanted you to stay. For the first time, you felt like you belonged somewhere & you were overthrown with emotions. Since Castiel was closest to you, he sat himself next to you, threw an arm over your shoulder & pulled you into his chest. Usually, you hated crying in front of people but right now you could not care less. Besides, being in Castiel’s embrace felt right. What was it about him? Neither of them left the room, all staying with you for as long as you needed. When you could not feel more tears flowing down your cheeks, you slowly removed yourself from Castiel, immediately missing the warmth of his body. If you were about to stay here, he would be trouble, you could feel it already. Sam, Castiel & Jack then left the room, telling you to get some more rest & to scream for one of them if you needed anything. Details could be discussed another time.

They were right, you needed sleep. Time to sort your thoughts. Maybe that was the reason why you entered the bunker in the first place. Why you were not concerned about them brutally killing you. After waking up, you were more comfortable with the idea of sticking around with the boys. Sam told you Dean would come around eventually & you just hoped he was right. Getting up, you paddled to the door, quietly opening it since you did not know how late it was. There was a long hallway that looked exactly the same, no matter what direction you were looking at. Distant voices could be heard so you followed them & prayed you would not get lost in that labyrinth of a bunker. You had to ask your brothers a question. Your brothers. It felt weird to call them that but they were, right? Back home, you had read through your dad’s diary about a thousand times. You were familiar with what he wrote about. He called himself a hunter. Sadly, you were not about to meet him. Castiel had told you that he had died a long time ago. Sam & Dean were the only family you had left.

“Um, hi.” you made yourself present & Dean turned around to meet your eyes. He looked a lot less tense, thank God.

“Slept well?” at least he was attempting to start a conversation with you. Nodding your head, you walked over to where Jack was sitting. Dean spoke up again.

“Hey, sorry for how I acted earlier. It was just a lot at once. I do want you to stay. We do.” he emphasized his words. This made you smile. At first you were not sure about how Dean would react but this showed you that he was trying & that was enough. Telling him it was fine, you sat down next to Jack & looked over at what he was reading. The book was old but the condition it was in was surprisingly well. A cup was placed in front of you by Dean & you thanked him. He brought you coffee.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Where is Sam? I wanna ask you guys something.” feeling silly with how you put it, way more dramatic than it actually was.

“Right here.” Sam entered the room, walked past Dean & straight to you. A pat to your shoulder eased the tension a little.

“What is it?” Dean seated himself on top of the table.

“Okay, so…I just want you guys to be honest with me, okay?” both men nodded, Jack was lost in his book, he did not even hear you conversation. You continued.

“Monsters are real & you hunt them?” their eyes widened at your question but deep down they expected something like that. The diary you owned was filled with the supernatural.

“Yeah, we do. It’s kinda the family business.” Dean chuckled at the end. You were family but clearly you had never hunted any monster before.

“Okay.” was all you answered.

“Okay? That’s it? You’re not running outta the door?” Sam could not believe you. He expected you to freak out. On the other hand...you were a Winchester.

“I don’t know about you, Sam, but I let an angel of the Lord look into my head. Monsters don’t sound too crazy after this.” all of you laughed out. “So, you guys hunt the supernatural. Castiel is an angel? And Jack? What is he? Your trainee?” the mention of his name made Jack look at you & before the boys could answer your question, Jack decided to take matter into his own hands.

“I’m a nephilim. The offspring of a human & an angel. Lucifer is my father but not really, you know. My mother died when I was born but I have Sam, Dean & Cas. They are my family.” his smile was too pure for this world but the way he so casually talked about the fact that he was Lucifer’s son had you stunned.

“Sure.” was all you could manage at that point. Jack’s smile grew wider & he got back to reading.

“Welcome to our world? I guess?” Sam’s smile was faked but if you were honest, you could imagine yourself being thrown into this mess. Nothing you could not handle.

~a few months later~

“Guys? Have you seen Cas?” you came running into the kitchen where Sam & Dean were having breakfast.

“What? You boyfriend ditched you?” Dean teased & earned a slap from Sam. You simply rolled your eyes at him. Your brothers realized very soon after coming to them that you had a big crush on Cas & Dean loved to mess with you.

“Shut up, asshole. We’re about to leave for the case in Wisconsin but he’s not here.”

“I haven’t heard from him but come on, sit down & have breakfast with us.” Sam offered. You walked over to the boys & sat down next to Dean who handed you a cup of coffee right away. Your smile was a thank you enough.

“Seriously, though. When will you tell him?” Dean munched on his food, not even looking at you but you knew the question was directed at you.

“That we’re leaving for the case? He knows that, Dean.”

“That you like him.” scoffing could be heard. Sam enjoyed your banter in silence. That was one indicator that you were a their sister. After warming up to them, they found out you were actually a lot like Dean. This made you guys argue more often, never too severe, mainly siblings teasing each other.

“Right, & then we’ll have that apple pie life. Is that what you want? Dean, he doesn’t like me like that.”

“Yeah, he does. Poor dude is a mess whenever he talks to you.” again, you simply rolled your eyes at him. Yes, Cas could be awkward when you guys talked but then again, this was Cas.

“(Y/N)?” Cas came into the kitchen where he could hear voices. Immediately your head snapped up & a smile started forming. An action that did not go unnoticed by both, Sam & Dean. Neither mentioned it though.

“There you are, I got worried for a second.” you got up & pulled Cas into a hug. That was nothing special. The two of you hugged each other all the time. Another thing that Dean commented on a lot of the time. Apparently, Cas had never been much of a hugger before you had come around. You simply shrugged it off even though, deep down, your heart skipped a beat at the idea of you being the reason for his change.

“Jack needed to talk to me, I’m sorry.”

“No problem, are you ready?”

“Yes, we should get going anyway.”

“Alright, bye boys.” whenever one of you got ready for a hunt, you made sure to say goodbye properly. You never knew. The last few months, your brothers had helped you with the basics of hunting. If they were honest, it felt like you were born to be a hunter. You picked up the skills quickly & learned a lot about the supernatural in a very short time. Cas told you that it probably was because you were always meant to be here. After a while, you started believing him. At first, Sam & Dean told you you were not allowed to come on a hunt with them but after realizing that you were good at what you did, you became an inherent part of the team which you were grateful for. Now, they even let you leave with Cas, a big step forward.

“Your bag’s already in the trunk.” Cas pointed at the back of the car.

“Thanks, Cas.” you lovingly smiled at him. Yeah, you were totally into him. Cas stopped briefly & got closer to you. Yet, he made sure to keep a little bit of distance between the two of you.

“Why don’t you tell me?” he whispered & you felt like you could not breathe for a second. Had he heard your conversation with Dean earlier?

“W-What?” you hated how weak & nervous your voice sounded. Why could you not play it cool? Why did you have to make a fool out of yourself? Before you could even process what was happening, Cas slowly leaned in & pressed his lips to yours softly. You were too shocked to kiss him back, not knowing if it was really happening right now. Cas pulled back & he looked rather uncomfortable. Your face was still full of shock.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this. Just…Dean told me you liked me & then I heard your conversation & I thought you might-“ you cut his rambling off by pulling him close again. This time you kissed him & he lost no time in kissing you back. You let yourself get lost in the moment. You had dreamed about this particular moment for months & the fact that it was happening right now? Your body was on fire. When the both of you pulled apart for air, you could see Cas’ smile & you were sure your were blushing like crazy.

“So, Dean was right?” Cas’ hands settled on your waist & it felt natural. As if you had done it a thousand times.

“Remind me to kill him after this case.” you laughed & pulled Cas into a hug. He tightened his arms around you. Who would have thought, all those months ago, that you would end up with an actual family?

“Wasn’t he our…how do you call it? Wingman?” Cas chuckled after planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. He released you from the hug & you moved over to the passenger side. Your elbows were propped up on the hood & a smirk started forming at the corner of your mouth.

“Still. I told him to keep it to himself & he is my brother. I think I have permission to kill him for this.” of course you were joking & if you had to be honest, you were kind of glad that Dean could not keep his mouth shut. Cas walked over to the car, shaking his head at you but you could still see a small smile, opened the door & got in. You smiled to yourself. Finally, you knew that Cas did like you too. Where you were going from there? You were not sure yet. But there was a case you had to finish & it would take a few days to get it done. That would be enough time to figure out what you two were but you had a good feeling about this. It felt right & you had a home with people you loved & cared for. You were meant to be here from the start.

~to be continued?~ (let me know)

Part Two

Published (03/18/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @teelagurl558, @babymango-writes, @hollymac79 (thanks for your support <3)

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[kyeungsoo]

it’s gonna be forever (or go down in flames).

× pairings: oh sehun + oc: reader

× genres and warnings: fluff :/ are you bored yet lmao, angst? i guess? i wouldn’t really categorize it as that tho, slight angst i suppose, royalty au, bodyguard/knight au

× notes: no </2 bc this concept hurted and even worse i’ve been obsessed with them lately if you see a prince chanyeol fic sometime soon don’t @ me <2 also! (i posted this before a few months ago, but i accidentally deleted it then and lowkey forgot to ever repost it rip).

When he thinks about it, there are only a handful of memories Sehun can recall of a time in his life before you were in it.

Two and half year olds don’t understand much of the concept of pregnancy other than that it means a new, tiny human will arrive soon and that pregnant people’s stomachs get bigger. So when Sehun was a mere toddler waddling around the palace halls, he didn’t think much of the Queen’s pregnancy, other than that it meant that there’d soon be a baby around.

But since you were born, Sehun has spent every waking—and sometimes sleeping—moment by your side. As a kid, he didn’t know that his life’s purpose was to protect you, but if you’d asked him, he’d have accepted the role, regardless. And when he was eight, he did.

To him, you’re more than a princess that he’s learned to protect as a knight. You’re his confidant, his best friend, someone he might even love more than himself.

Sehun always took his job seriously. He trained diligently with the other knights, was brave and wise enough to choose to master the bow and arrow when swords hindered him, and always, always, always put you before himself.

It’s kind of scary, actually, to think that Sehun couldn’t begin to picture his life without golds and tulles of your dresses flowing about in his mind; without your mischievous smile when you convince him to go horse riding after midnight; without the soft touch of your knuckles against his cheek telling him he’s the bravest knight this castle’s ever seen. Without having you by his side.

Sehun watches you more than anything. He tries to not be creepy about it, but it’s kind of his job to keep his eyes on you. Not that he minds—you’re easy on the eyes, interesting to watch, and if he’s speaking honestly, if it weren’t for his… supervision, you’d have at least broken a leg or two by now.

He watches you now, in your bedroom suite, his legs folded criss-cross atop your bedding whilst you pace back and forth against your ceiling length windows. Sehun almost chuckles—you can be such a cliché, wander-lorn princess when you want to be.

“You’re zoning out again,” he grins, eyebrow quirked when his voice startles and stops your pacing, “You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

With a smile he pushes himself forward, laying on his stomach atop your bed now, elbows pushing into your mattress and chin in his palm as you look at him with a less than impressed visage.

He knows you hate when he lays in your bed with all his armor on, but being your knight and best friend of over two decades has its privileges—one of many being that Sehun is one of about six people in the world who can annoy you without immediately getting an arrow to the throat.

“What are you thinking about, huh?” he questions, a sly smirk playing on his lips, “Smartest princess in the lower region?”

“Where did you learn to flirt?” you retort with a scoff, tossing a decorative pillow in his direction. The attack does little though, as Sehun catches it with a single arm extended in the air, then tosses his behind him without flinching.

“Must have been from you,” Sehun smirks, swinging his legs around until he’s sitting upwards and they’re hanging off the edge of your bed.

He extends his left arm with his palm facing upwards, and waits until you pace forward to accept his hand. Sehun gingerly wraps his fingers around your hand, an action in complete contrast to what comes next—when he pulls you into himself, and effectively, onto the bed with little effort on his part at all.

Sehun laughs over your screeching as he tosses you until you’re flat on your back in the middle of the mattresses and he’s laying beside you on his side, head propped up by his bent arm, cheek resting into his palm.

He looks down at you with a bratty and mischievous look in his eyes, but you succumb anyway, slowing turning your body until you’re mirroring his own. Sehun’s grin only widens—he knows that if he weren’t all suited up, you’d have jabbed him in the ribs by now. Or, at least, attempted to.

If anyone had been caught roughhousing you the way Sehun just had, it’d be grounds for execution on sight. But he was the exception. He always way,

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong now?” he hums, “I can almost smell your anxiety.”

You sigh, and Sehun watches as your eyes dart everywhere but to his own. But while yours are flittering around, he’s reading them. He knows you want to lie to him, tell him nothing’s the matter, but he knows that you know that’d be futile.

Eventually, slowly, you come to terms with the fact, shifting your body slightly and using your free hand to push away some of the lower fabric of your dress.

“It’s the council,” you begin, and Sehun’s eyebrows are already drawing together, “They think I should be married before I take over for mama and—”

“And you don’t want to,” Sehun finishes for you.

But Sehun finds you shaking your head and biting your lip in opposition. His eyebrows crinkle further. Those are two telltale signs of a princess who is about to let some old people make decisions for her.

“It’s not that I don’t want to—I want to be married, eventually,” you clarify, meeting his eyes at the latter half of your sentence, “It’s just… their list of bachelors.”

“List?” Sehun sits up now, one leg bent to support his weight as he looks down at your figure. “Are they actually expecting you to get married to someone they picked for you?”

“It’s not a list, really,” you correct him, and he’s lost your eye contact. He hates that, and he hates the defeated tone in your voice, “It’s more like… a single request.”

Sehun’s lips purse at the new information. The council is easily his least favorite thing about the castle, and the kingdom in general, so it doesn’t surprise him at all, but that doesn’t mean he’s any happier to hear it, either.  He knew that the royal council would be instant on you marrying eventually—at some point in your late twenties, much like the tradition of women before you—not now. And not to—

“No,” Sehun all but growls, “Not him.”

“Sehun, I—”

“You hate him,” Sehun continues, sitting up more straightly with every word that leaves his mouth, “He’s not good enough for you—and he barely knows you!”

“Junmyeon is a prince, Sehun,” you sigh, sitting up to level your posture with his, “An exemplary one at that. And that’s all it really takes, unfortunately.”

Sehun huffs. Exemplary? As if. If not the council, then Prince Junmyeon is easily Sehun’s least favorite thing in this life.

He has no real reason for this distaste. Well, no, real, concrete reason, but Sehun likes to think he’s pretty good at reading people. Particularly when people don’t like him, and Prince Junmyeon has made it clear that he doesn’t like or trust Sehun one bit.

“He’s a bit childish,” Sehun had overheard the Prince talking to a few of his noblemen on a visit to the castle, “He doesn’t seem fit to be a knight.”

The memory alone is enough to make Sehun furious. Childish his, ass. He’ll show him childish. Putting an arrow straight through his forehead would show him childish.

Not to mention that you and Prince were acquaintances at best, and that’s being generous. The council had no reason to push you two together other than for financial and agricultural benefits, and Sehun would be damned to see your freedom signed away for a piece of land a sack of gold.

“Sehun, they just want to make sure I’m being looked after,” you pull him out of his thoughts, “Junmyeon and I aren’t friends, but he’s kind and wise. He prioritizes the protection of his family and kingdom above all and the council thinks that I’d be safe with him.”

“And what about Junmyeon himself, huh?” Sehun grits, “How is he to look after you when all he does is work and talk and work all day? The last time he visited the castle he could hardly offer you the time of day, much less hold a conversation.”

“He’s a prince, Sehun, he has many duties and—”

“And if he is to be your husband, you should be his most important one.”

Sehun’s words escape his lips before he can catch them, but he has no regrets about letting you hear them, either. Your eyes are solemn, yet full of affection as you take his words in. Sehun thinks they’re beautiful, even if a little lost.

“They just want me to be safe,” you repeat, words soft as you reach a hand you to rest against the cold, metal armor wrapped around his body, “You know with the tensions from the west, and Jongdae’s alliance growing it’s—it’s not easy, Sehun.”

Your thumb swipes against his armor, but Sehun swears his can feel your touch on his skin.

“Are you to insinuate that I am not good enough security for you?”

“Absolutely not,” your words come quickly, without hesitation—he almost smiles, because he knows you mean it. “You are. Enough, I mean. A little bratty, but still, there’s nobody better suited than you.”

Your words pierce his heart, true and full. “Then what?” he asks, extending a hand to cradle your elbow.

And you look up at him again, and Sehun doesn’t want you to look away. “They… mean civil protection, Sehun. Legal protection, too, I guess. A husband to suffice for that.”

Sehun pulls his lips together, tilts his head back and upwards to look at your ceiling, letting your words and his thoughts permeate the room instead.

He’s always liked the paintings on your ceilings. Hyperrealistic constellations that make him feel like his out in the garden on a clear night looking up at the sky. It’s gorgeous, fitting for a princess such as yourself, and while Sehun can’t take credit for the art itself, he can for the idea.

“Then marry me,” he says, still looking up at your ceiling. He only tilts his head back down to meet your gaze after he feels the weight of his words cement in his chest. He meant them. He means him.

“Marry me,” he repeats, eyes now searching yours for an ounce of disagreement (to which he finds none). He glides his hand down your forearm, slips it into your own, “Who better fit to protect the princess than her own knight.”

[stargaze-issei]

— "𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞" (𝐛. 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; when your father, the head of the japanese mafia, was killed, your childhood friend swore to protect you till his death. now, you're the empress of the underground world, and he doesn't know what's harder, to keep you safe or manage to hide his feelings. what will he do when, for the first time, your life's at risk and he isn't anywhere near?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; mafia!au, angst.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; swearing, mentions of blood, guns, murder, kidnap, yk... mafia stuff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; lemme know if u want a part two bc i felt like it was getting too long and i don't know if anyone will read it or like it 👉🏻👈🏻

"where the fuck are you?" bakugou's voice stroke over the phone, noticeably angry. he had told you several times to never go anywhere without him, which you mostly did, if it weren't for him being away a lot of times. nothing less was expected from your right hand, who handled every dirty job, and considering your line of work, it wasn't scarce. but you did had other bodyguards, just as trained as katsuki, willing to give their lifes for you, which was extremely better than having bakugou giving his life.

to his eyes, you were still the little girl from before. he saw you as a someone who needed protection. at first, you agreed. your father was murdered, someone managed to get through all his security and killed him, none of the guns he and his security team carried around could protect him, killing you would be like stealing a sweet from a baby. bakugou had always kept you safe, despite his agressive usual safe, he cared about you more than he cared for himself. so you stuck to his side, believing, hoping, he'd die for you. but that was a long time ago, now, you could defend yourself, and had raised a sense of loyalty in your people by your own. your father's empire was based in fear, yours? by admiration. you didn't see your people as working ants, but as important parts of a whole. still, anyone who was a threat to you, bakugou made sure to erase them forever.

"don't talk to me like that, i'm your boss" you could feel him losing his shit, a smile began to form in your face. even when everyone respected you, he was still the same.

"you can't boss anyone if you're fucking dead, you dumb shit" a laugh came out of your throat, he couldn't avoid smiling at the sound "wait, oh, okay, i know we're you are. stay there, i'll be in three" he hung up before you could reply.

you looked back, at one of your guards who was just putting away his phone. of course they told him. why couldn't you go get your own coffee? being in the office all day was tiring, to be five minutes outside was all you asked for. a few seconds after, they handed you your coffee, obviously, a guard had to try it first, in case that barista wanted to suddenly murder you. of course he didn't.

"who let her go outside without me knowing, huh?" a furious katsuki appeared through the door, making a scene in the place. you gave him a warning look. if there was something you hated, was that. everyone in the area knew who you were, but why make it any more obvious. those people were just living their usual lifes, and people tend to get nervous around you. "the car is waiting outside" he understood, but you knew he was going to scold you anyways.

you walked outside, smiling, and got into the car, followed by katsuki and one of his subordinates, the other one got in the front sit, next to the driver.

"save it, i'm n–"

"the fuck you are" he cut you "your safety is my responsibility, if i say you can't go out without me, then you fucking don't. specially not when there are people after your head" there was no denying he was right, but still, it upset you.

"there's always people after my head, bakugou".

two weeks ago, two men went into your office. they were in charge of some dealing territories, though small, important. most contraband had to pass those places, you controlled those police departments making everything easier to your truck drivers. they were beaten, cover in blood and barely standing.

"our men, all of them... they all..." only one of them could talk, the other being too shocked to even look at you. "kazuhito's men, it was them... they said we had to tell you, they're coming after you" you couldn't show any fear in front of your so called soldiers, and your template remained at ease. a shout was enough to get those men the help they needed, after holding their hands, you promised to go see them once they were checked by doctors. you called bakugou as soon as they left, he was the first who should know and help you decide what to do next.

the kazuhito family had always been rivals, enemies of the worst kind. everyone suspect they were behind your father's assassination, but with no proof, even you knew it would be the biggest mistake to charge against them, despite your personal desires.

"i already told the drivers they had to take rout b for a while, but we can't let them just keep what's our" you explained to katsuki once he arrived. "those drugs have to get in town by us, damnit". it was clear how frustrated you were, those assholes had mess with your and your father's hardwork.

"if we retaliate, a war will unchain. your father tried to avoid that for years"

"and see how he ended up" bakugou didn't know if it was the anger, or you talking. "we will lose everyone's respect if we don't do something, they killed dozens of our people, katsuki".

he was trying hard to stay objective in that situation, but it was near impossible. a war would put you in more danger than ever, your life was at stake, and bakugou wasn't sure if he was willing to risk it. growing up by your side, your father taking him in when his parents died, you were his only family. more than that, he loved you. the only reason he was able to do his job right, was the fear of losing you. your head was already valued in millions, how could he protect you in the middle of a conflict, that would end only with your death or the kazuhito's leader's death? your power was bigger than theirs by little, but they did something that reckless, which meant they thought they had out powered you. had they? or were they just bluffing? had they miscalculated?.

"we're taking action, wether you support me or not" you looked into each other's eyes, you knew him enough to understand his fear, just not the reason behind it. your voice softened "but i'd much rather do it with you by my side".

"you're the boss" he spoke, already regretting it "i'll schedule a meeting so the high charges let everyone else know, i'm staying at your place so we can trace a plan".

and there you were now, being reprimanded by bakugou. he was extremely tired, he decided to stay with you until things were calmer, which could be several months from then. getting up at six a.m, going to sleep past midnight, being always looking for possible threats, it had given him bags under his eyes.

"i'm sorry" you said once you were alone with him, it was only then that you could let your guard down "i'm making this harder for you".

"yeah, you are. but it's my job, after all" that came out wrong, he thought. it wasn't his job, it was his fucking life purpose. he wanted you to live a long, happy life, as hard as it seemed.

"i guess it is" deep down, his response disappointed you.

"hey, look at me" out of nowhere, his body was insanely close to yours, you felt his breath in your face as he lifted your chin with his finger "there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, got that, dumbass?"

for a brief moment, the taste of his lips was all you could think about. i bet they're soft. but as fast as it started, it was over, katsuki pulled away harshly, inventing an excuse to leave. he had flown too close to the sun, so close that it burned his skin.

a few more people went to see you that day, asking for diverse permissions, advice and stuff like that. since it had been slow, compared to other times, you decided to home early. a call to your team, and the car was already outside. bakugou left instructions for your departure, because he had things to do somewhere else, much to his displeasure. you were accompanied by your escorts to the doors of the building, that seemed like a normal office compound. there were waiting two other guards, making a total of six people protecting you. way to go, bakugou.

"how's your wife, ryota?" you asked the driver. of course, not everyone fitted in the same car, so you got into the second one, middle seat, between a built up woman and a big man. you tried to remember everyone's name, but it was difficult.

"she's good, ma'am, sends her regards" he smiled at you over the mirror.

"and the baby? he must be a month old, right?" at the memory of his child, his face lightened "you should take some days off, i bet your wife and son miss you"

"i have a duty with you, m–" a loud impact interrupted him, the front glass had exploded. the car had an abrupt movement back and forward, all you could see was blood, everywhere.

the woman next to you took her gun out, in order to protect you , you thought, completely wrong. before everyone could react to her act, she shot the guard in front of you.  you looked at your side, searching for someone alive, the same bullet that had killed ryota was in the guard's at your right forehead. besides you , the only other person was that woman. if she hadn't glasses on, that stare could've seen throughout your soul. then you remembered, katsuki made you bare with a knife under your sleeve. with a weird move, you felt its sharpness against your skin, it was there, but she read you like a book. before you could even pull it out, another shot stroke followed by a intense pain in you thight. the bitch had shot you. you blamed it on the adrenaline, because nothing hurt. what happened after was a couple of blurry images in your memory.

bakugou had called you more than a hundred times, you, the drivers, the guards, everyone in his fucking team, but no one knew anything. the cameras at your house never showed you arriving, your phone's location was off. he was out of his head, if he didn't hear from you in the next five minutes, someone's going to die. he rushed into his car, following your rout at a dangerous speed. 

both cars were full of bullet holes, and every guard he had hired was dead. there wasn't a place without blood. tears of pure rage came to his eyes, fuck, it was his fault. he started to look for you, but the whole world was spinning around him. where were you? where was your body? were you alive?, this couldn't be happening. he had left you unprotected, alone, and now you could be dead, because of his uselessness. his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"sir, we– we have– the kazuhito's are here" he left as fast as he came. they had touch you, they had taken you away from him, and he wasn't going to let them get away with it, even if he had to go against a whole army, whoever was behind it all was going to pay.

a man in a suit was sitting in the chair of your office, smoking a cigarette, as calm as a rock. katsuki was so close to rip his head of right there, that somebody had to hold him down. his own people updated him, saying that he had gone into the building alone, with no weapons of any kind, not even a cellphone.

"where the fuck is she?" he crashed his hand against the desk.

"ah, mr. bakugou, please take a se–"

"tell me where she is right now if you want to keep your head, fucking bastard" his hand had wondered to the tip of the gun in his belt, menacing to blow up at any second.

"you won't do that, mr., if i don't return to my people in one hour, she'll be so fucked up that not even you will recognize her" a laugh surge grom bakugou, a dark, cold laugh.

"i don't have to kill you, then" one of the man's hand rested in the desk, like asking for katsuki to rip it off his body. as you did, he also carried knifes under his shirt. in less than a second, one of them was buried into the man's hand. he screamed, both in shock and pain, giving your bodyguard a hatred look. "what do you want, shitface?"

"i-it's quite simple, actually" his face was white as paper, and even though he wanted to talk normally, his voice shivered "we want you to take over the y/l/n's business, under our command of course" he let out a sigh, trying to keep his composure and ignoring his bleeding hand "if you– if you agree, she will have to leave japan and never..."

bakugou won't agree to that. not now and not ever. to give away what you and your father built from scratch, and spent decades keeping safe, was like killing your child, and your father's memory. to send you away, alone, where he most likely won't see you again in years, was also off the table. it wasn't funny anymore. he started walking around the man's chair, picking up his sleeves. he checked the clock in the office, he had forty-five minutes with the man, meaning, forty-five minutes to make him talk. he ressourced to every fast interrogation method he knew. the people outside the door weren't surprised when they heard the man's screams, even wondering what had taken so long for the boss to start acting. katsuki was never a patient man. his senses were blocked, he couldn't hear anything but screams and begging, all his eyes could see was pain through all the man's body, his hands felt nothing but warm blood. but for the first time in a while, he wasn't enjoying it. he was doing it out of need, the need to save you. every minute that went by, was a minute were your life risked. he never felt so close to losing his sanity.

"outside the city! she's in one of our safe houses outside the city! i don't know which, please stop!" ten minutes before the timeline he finally gave up. your intelligence had all their safe houses, storages, garages, every location needed. not a second passed when one of yours men delivered a map with all the points marked. there were five in total.

"throw him outside in ten minutes" he shouted, walking to the armory "two teams, six people each, my fucking people, hear me? now, dammit! we're leaving in a minute, if i have to go by my fucking self, i'll do it"

when he was armed to the teeth, almost a dozen of people followed him outside. they were his most trusted men and women, being trained together, he knew they were as skilled as him, and they were all willing to put their life's at stake for you, their boss. in the car, bakugou barked the instructions. he had narrowed it down to two possible locations with all the information he had. if they had to kill every person in those places, then be it. he's going to get you back.

[krewbies]

I'm so glad to see Bolin fics bc your girl has had a crush on him for awhile. Can you write something where Bolin proposes? Timeline wise, sometime after saving the city in book 4? 👉👈

awww i love this :( i hope you enjoy!!!

••••••

The last month had been absolutely insane. You and Bolin had both been busy- the Earth Kingdom was pulling itself together again, Republic City was still recuperating from Kuvira’s attack, but there was still a sense of peace. For now, everything had been resolved.

Bolin. Boy, was he thankful for you. You had supported him, rooted for him, since the days when the two of you had just been two clueless teenagers in a big city. Sure, you gave him a hard time about unknowingly working under a fascist regime, but that was quickly forgiven after he helped save the Beifongs. And, sure, sometimes you could be overbearing, you didn’t want him to hurt himself after all!

It was so daunting for him, standing in a flashy jewelry store. He had grown up poor after all, he was used to just scraping by with Mako. But Mako wasn’t there, and neither were you, but the memory of a wedding- Varrick and Zhu Li’s- was fresh in his mind. 

It was standing there, seeing you in the crowd, sitting with his brother and closest friends, glossy eyed and awe stricken, that he realized how ready he was to let you know just how much he appreciated and adored you.

The ring he picked was small and modest. Big and expensive wasn’t exactly something that either of you enjoyed. Your relationship had always been surrounded by chaos and dramatics and other people’s conflicts, and deep down, you both just wanted simple after all these years. You weren’t teenagers anymore, and there were no more wars to be fought, and there was finally room for peace.

~

“It’s so pretty.” You sighed, glancing up at the evening sky. Bolin turned his head to admire you, his eyes following the curve of your nose and examining the color of your eyes as if he hadn’t already memorized his favorite color a thousand times.

“Well, I think you’re a lot prettier.” His voice cracked. That always happened when he was nervous. And he was wringing his hands. You decided not to ask. Instead, you laughed, trying to ease whatever was running through his mind. He wasn’t one to hide anything he was feeling, so he’d tell you when he was ready to.

“Y’know, it’s so weird that we met here- wow, it’s been 5 or 6 years now.” You swung your legs and ran your hands over the wood of the bench. It was nostalgic, and reminded you of when things were simple, and you reached out to take his hand. 

Now or never. Now or never. His hands were oddly sweaty too. Huh. He stood up abruptly, back turned to you, leg shaking slightly.

“Um, okay, so, I’m, uh, usually good at talking, but I’m not right now because I love you so much and I don’t want this to end badly, I feel like you feel the same way but I’m not sure and-”

“Bo!” You stopped him in the middle of his speech, turning his body around and taking his face in your hands. He glanced at you as you stroked his cheeks, taking a deep breath. “What’s wrong?” You continued after a few long seconds of silence. He looked down at the ground and hesitantly opened his mouth again.

“(Y/N), I just... I love you so much. And, and all of the stuff that’s happened in the last few years has made me realize how lost I would be without you. You laugh at all my jokes, and you’re always there whether things are going good for me or not, you always make sure I’m okay,” He took a deep breath and shot you a sweet smile, and reached a hand up to twist the piece of hair on his forehead. “And Mako likes you! That’s so great! I’m saying so much, I don’t even know where I’m going. At... At the end of the day I just want you to be safe and happy, and I want me to be happy too, and I would be happiest if,” He slowly knelt down, taking one of your hands in his, and proudly showing you what he had picked out. “If you would just be mine forever?”

Your heart raced. This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be. You wanted to cry. You had never entertained the thought of him asking you; it had always felt too good to be true. That he was so perfect, and he only wanted you. A million thoughts ran through your head, but one was louder than the others, and it helped you utter a simple response.

“Of course.” You stared at each other for a moment, hearts racing and the cool night air surrounding you. Finally, finally, a smile sprung on his face as he picked himself up, placing both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Really?” You stopped yourself from giggling at his shocked expression,

“I’d be an idiot to not want to spend the rest of my life with you.” You replied, tears threatening to spill. He engulfed you in one of the best hugs you’ve ever had, warming you up inside and out. This was it. This is what all of that was for. 

He kissed you softly after he pulled away. “Wait! We have to go tell everyone!” He was so giddy, rocking up and down on the balls of his feet, shaking you. “This is so exciting. I get to marry you.” Every reservation you had ever held in your life was gone, and they were replaced by the knowledge that he would be yours and you would be his.

~

i hope you enjoyed!!!! i just wanted to say, thank you guys so much. I made this blog thinking it would just be a fun past time but you are all so kind, my inbox has been flooded with the kindest things, i spent like an hour crying over it earlier. i’m sorry its been a few days since i last put something out, ive just been insanely busy and ive been jumping between writing things because i have a ton of requests. i just wanna give you all a hug! i feel like i hit 100 followers overnight and now i’m at around 140, its surreal. thank you. ps, this can perhaps be read as a sequel to the hcs i did about the airbender? but its up to u ;)

[kyber-crystal]

Maybe It’s Meant To Be

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~3.7k

Summary: Sometimes, love finds people in unexpected ways. In this case, fate has extra special plans for America’s golden boy and one of SHIELD’s best agents in history. And you know there’s no running away from fate once she’s set out your futures for you. 

Warnings: mentions of violence and blood, angst, and once again, soft steve :)

A/N: I haven’t attempted a soulmate AU in over a year. this is one of my fav works but it’s really poorly written rip. The age gap between you and Steve is ~3 years. 2017 AU where they made up after the Accords :) Steve’s back with his WS look bc that suit was hot af

Tags: @pies-writes-and-more​ this is for you! THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING SO ACTIVE ON MY BLOG AND FOR YOUR SWEET AND SUPER ENCOURAGING WORDS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. AND @marvelsswansong BECAUSE YOU'RE MY IDOL AND I LOOK UP TO YOU YOU'RE AMAZING

Soulmates.

You'd heard plenty about them growing up. Seeing your parents' perfect relationship blossom over the years piqued your interest, and for the longest time, your only wish was to find someone who could love you with their whole heart and soul and mind, like the way your Mom and Dad loved each other.

Unfortunately, as all stories must come to an end, love stories had to find their ending. And not all of them ended on a high note.

Their jobs should've kept them apart from the beginning. Your mother was head surgeon at one of the best hospitals in Brooklyn, and your father was head of SHIELD's navy division. Constantly out and about, they were rarely granted any time to rest. Yet they still found a way to make things work; and it all started because of a run-in at a café around the corner.

Then when you were fifteen, you got word that your father had been deployed overseas again, but this time, he wasn't coming back.

You had to stand there and watch your mother slowly fall apart, breaking down a little more each day until she fell gravely ill. A mere week after her diagnosis of cardiomyopathy, she passed away in her sleep.

A person's soulmark didn't appear at a specific time. It could show up at any point in their lives, when the Gods believed the time was right for them. When those Gods felt the time was right for you to find out who it was, you'd feel a slight tingle where the mark was etched into your skin.

Some people didn't receive the soulmark at all. Along with this came a sense of freedom to fall in love with whoever they pleased, but often times it would end in a loveless relationship. But they were additionally granted the ability of being able to carry on by themselves.

If your soulmate got injured in any way, you would feel the same pain that they endured. And if they died, you would carry a weight around with you for the rest of your life that slowly progressed into a disease. So ultimately, those left in the world without their soulmate would also die in the end, further proving the claim of humans being unable to live without love.

One by one, you watched your friends find their match. They would excited come up to you, goofy grins on their faces as they showed you their marks. You were happy for them in the beginning, of course. But as years went by, and you passed adulthood with still no sign of your designated soulmark, you slowly began losing hope. There was no point in looking forward to the future when you watched one fall apart before your very eyes.

Maybe it was because of your job. None of the Avengers had received their soulmarks either, asides from Tony and Pepper. But they were an exception. Everyone could see it coming from the day they first met, judging by the way they lovingly gazed at each other from across the room. It was a match made in heaven.

You believed that maybe, just maybe, you were destined to be alone. So when you woke up one morning with the burn mark on your wrist, you were taken completely by surprise.

"Hey, Tony? Bruce?" you asked, walking into the lab with a frown. "I need to ask you guys a quick question."

"Ask away, Killer," Tony nodded, using the nickname he'd given you years ago when you first joined the initiative. "What's on your mind?"

"So, um..." you fiddled with the sleeve of your sweatshirt for a moment, before pulling it up to reveal the mark, "this happened."

"That's a soulmark," he stated.

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," you rolled your eyes. "But why would it appear now? I don't see any sign of me meeting them anytime soon."

"When did it appear?"

"I don't know. I woke up this morning and saw it."

"Let me take a look at that," Bruce carefully took ahold of your wrist, squinting as he adjusted his glasses to peer at the mark, "huh. So it appeared last night...have you felt any side-effects?"

"Not that I know of yet, no..."

"If you start feeling any severe symptoms, I can prescribe you some medication to deal with the pain, though I doubt that's going to happen. In the meantime, we need to figure out who this could be."

"Imagine if it was someone who already died, and I'm slowly dying right now," you joked.

"No, if that were to be true, you'd be lying in a hospital bed right now."

"Does the symbol have any specific meaning?"

"That I'm not so sure about," Tony shrugged.

Bruce was silent as he began typing away for a bit, before turning the screen over to you.

"I've checked out over a dozen different sites about this, and..."

"And what?"

"Well...once both people discover their mark, they have a week to find each other before both of them disappear off the face of the earth, forever."

"Sounds like a damn time bomb to me," you muttered. "What the hell? I thought that the point of this whole thing was the gods trying to push us with someone else! Not the other way around!"

"I don't know, Y/N," Bruce sighed. "Feel free to do your own research, but everything I've read up on so far says the same thing."

"So basically, what you're telling me is I'm gonna die if I don't find out who the hell has this same mark as I do," you repeated.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Well, I'll have to worry about that later. Got a briefing with Cap, Bucky, and Wilson in five. Fury's gonna kill me if I'm late again," you breathed out as you tugged your hoodie's sleeve back down. "See ya."

"Agent Y/N," Nick Fury gave you a curt nod as you burst into the meeting room, breathless. "I hope you slept well last night."

"Of course."

"I need you four to track down a weapons dealer in Skagway," he explained as he handed Steve a black manila file folder, "shut down the base, download the intel onto the flashdrive. You’ll be staying at a safe house in Juneau afterwards for about a week to keep things on the down-low in case something goes wrong. Simple in-and-out job."

"When are we leaving?" Sam questioned.

"You're taking off in half an hour. Suit up."

You sighed. Finding your soulmate would just have to wait, then.

...

"Y/N, look out!"

You quickly whipped around and narrowly missed a bullet whizzing past you, as Steve tugged you around the corner, an arm wrapped firmly around your torso as he hid you both behind his shield.

You gasped as you felt a sharp pain in your chest, and Steve immediately pulled away from you in alarm, gripping your shoulders worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you panted, trying to steady your rapid breathing, “I’m fine. But we’re gonna have to split up from here if we wanna get the job done faster.”

“Y/N, I can’t-”

“Steve,” you interrupted, the firm tone of voice making him immediately shut up. “I can handle myself just fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure! Go find Sam and Bucky, and I’ll meet you guys by the rendezvous point as soon as I’m done. Okay?”

“Alright.” He looked around for a moment before stepping away, as if he was hesitant to leave you on your own.

Ignoring the slight ache in your chest, you parted ways, darting down the hall with your guns up and ears alert. 

From there, it was easy to fall into your usual routine. Keep all eyes and ears open; don’t hesitate, shoot on sight unless ordered otherwise. If necessary, engage powers but if not, use your fists or bullets. The mantra repeated itself over and over in your head as you followed through with your job.

You hid behind a tower of wooden crates, back pressed up against the steel walls. “Sam. Status update?”

“Controls room with Barnes, disabling all security systems. Steve’s retrieving intel from the north wing. You?”

“Outside on standby,” you murmured, keeping a finger pressed to your ear. Three technicians were loading equipment onto crates as the other six stood guard several yards away. “I make nine hostiles on the load dock straight ahead at twelve o’clock. Three dozen in total scattered around the area. Most likely preparing for an overseas arms trade. We’ll have to stop them.”

“And...done. We’re heading your way,” Bucky reported. “Be there in three.”

“Roger that.”

Exactly three minutes and two seconds later Bucky showed up, with Steve and Sam in tow. You came out from your hiding spot and began making your way towards the loading dock where the agents were stationed. They were quick to stop what they were doing and noticed the four of you approaching, whipping their snipers out and proceeding to open fire.

...

Your breath came out in white wisps of fog as you got caught in between a fistfight with one of the three dozen men on the docks, the freezing cold slowing all your movements and making them feel more sluggish than usual. If it weren’t for the thick material of your suit and your enhancements, you would’ve succumbed to the harsh weather hours ago.

The man captured you into a tight headlock with his thick arm but despite your frostbite you were too fast; you quickly whipped around and grabbed his wrist, twisting it to the side. His eyes widened slightly as he cried out in pain, the sickening crunch of bone echoing through the frigid Alaskan air as you swiftly dodged each one of moves as he attempted to come at you, countering with a sharp right hook to his jaw. 

His body slumped to the ground with a thump. 

“Why the hell do you even carry around a sniper if your fists do all the work for you?” Sam yelled over the cacophony as he released Redwing, swooping down from the rooftops. “Seriously, you don’t need guns! You’re strong enough as it is!”

“I prefer versatility in fights, Wilson!” you yelled back, grunting as you dodged a blow to the stomach, sweeping out your attacker’s feet from underneath him as his head smacked against the wall, before sliding down to the ground with a dull thud. 

“Y/N, look out-” Bucky called out, but it was too late. You didn’t get to hear his warning in time before you felt something cold and hard hit your lower abdomen. A yell of pain ripped through your throat as you felt a sticky warmth spread across your skin, your knees hitting the ground as you clutched the wound.

At that exact moment, Steve felt a sharp pain flare up his side as well. “Shit,” he cursed to himself, “Buck, cover me so I can get to her.”

You were barely clinging on to life by the time he reached you. Your breathing was heavy and labored, your eyes beginning to roll back as you struggled to stay awake. Everything hurt. Your arms and legs felt like they were weighed down with bricks. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t open your mouth to scream, either - you had no energy left to do so.

“Come on, Y/N, stay with me, please stay with me,” he muttered as he began carefully applying pressure to your wound. You let out a hiss of pain at the same time he did. “Just hang in there for me, please. Sam’s getting the Quinjet ready. We’re gonna get out of here in just a few minutes, okay? Please don’t die on me.”

“Look, if I don’t make it-”

“Don’t say that,” he spoke in between clenched teeth while fighting back tears of his own, “you’re not going to die. Not today, not tomorrow, and certainly not on my watch.”

“Steve…” you croaked out, the stinging from the wound almost becoming impossible to bear. Your eyes were becoming heavier by the second, your body throbbing painfully now that all the adrenaline had worn off. It was a struggle just to take in a single breath and to stay awake. "I'm so tired, I can't do this anymore..."

He disappeared from your line of sight as your began seeing spots at the edges of your vision momentarily, before reappearing and pulling you into his lap, trying to put pressure on the area of injury again in an attempt to stem the bleeding. But it didn’t seem to work. There was so much blood. So much of it, coming out so fast. There was no way you’d last out here for longer than ten minutes before bleeding to death.

"Stay with me..." he murmured as he looked up around him. "Hang in there for a few more minutes, please…Damn it, Sam, how much longer is this gonna take? Y/N’s down. We gotta get her to the safe house as soon as we can. She’s bleeding out.”

"Three minutes, tops. I’m circling the perimeter as an extra precaution," Sam replied. "You guys hang tight for a sec."

"We don't have time!" he raised his voice. "Just hurry the hell over here."

"I'm so sorry," you choked out before going into a coughing fit, blood dripping down your lips and chin much to Steve’s alarm. "I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for being reckless and not keeping a look ou—"

"Shhh, it's okay," he soothed, "There’s nothing to be sorry about. Just save your energy for later, okay? You're gonna be just fine."

"Hold my hand," you begged hoarsely.

"I already am," the super-soldier answered, but his look shifted to that of an alarmed one when he realized you couldn't feel it. "Y/N—"

"I'm cold," you said weakly, already feeling your limbs grow heavy and numb and your vision growing blurrier with each passing second. "I'm so tired, Cap, I just wanna sleep—"

"No no no, please don't leave me," he pleaded as he felt his head begin to spin as well. Where had the sudden wave of dizziness come from? "Hang in there for a little longer, please, I l—"

You didn’t get to hear the rest of his sentence before your eyes fluttered shut and everything went dark.

...

When you came to, your throat felt dry and raw, the metallic taste of dried blood around your lips and chin overwhelming your senses as you adjusted your eyes to the harsh bright lights streaming into the room. It looked like you were in some sort of antique coastal house, strangely void of belongings with the only decoration being a plain floral calendar hung on the wall opposite you, above the fireplace.

You were still in your suit, but your wound had been treated and wrapped up in a thick set of bandages. The couch you were on was old but extremely comfortable, so you found yourself not wanting to sit up at the same time you wanted to get up and look around.

The blinds were drawn shut, but the sunlight still managed to shine through. It was light outside, but you  weren’t sure what time it really was. The walls were a dull grey, and if you listened hard enough you could hear the faint ticking of a nearby clock and probably Bucky or Sam talking on the phone upstairs with someone in hushed whispers.

You finally pulled yourself up into a sitting position, glancing around at your surroundings. Someone quietly entered the living room and you looked up to see Steve. His shoulders sagged in relief upon seeing that you were awake.

“Hey,” his voice came out so softly it took both of you by surprise. You moved over slightly to make room for him to sit. “How are you feeling?”

“Like crap,” you groaned lightly, feeling a dull ache in your stomach where you’d been hit. “But other than that, I’m fine. What about you? Did you get hurt anywhere?”

“Body aches that come and go, but I’m fine. It isn’t your place to be worrying about me right now though, Y/N. You got shot.”

The curtains fluttered and a cool breeze rushed in, making you shiver. Steve took notice and stood up to go light up the fireplace, then sat back down and wrapped the fleece blanket around your body. You let out a small sigh of contentment. “Thanks.”

“Are you sure you’re alright? You knocked out for over twenty-six hours .”

“I’m fine, Steve, just tired...hey, how’s Bucky and Sam?”

“Sam’s upstairs radioing Fury on the mission status. Bucky’s taking a nap in the guest room.”

“Oh. Okay. So, I-” you were interrupted by a sharp stabbing sensation in your wrist. “Ow. Fuck.”

“Language,” he joked lightly, but when he saw the obvious pained expression on your face, his face fell. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just...I get those random pains from time to time. I don’t know why, but...they’ve gotten worse since we took off for Skagway and then came here...”

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized, eyes glassy with unshed tears, “I should’ve kept a closer watch over you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine...I should’ve watched my own back better.”

You both fell into an awkward silence for several minutes before he spoke up again, the realization finally dawning on him. 

"Y/N."

"What?"

"Your wrist."

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you looked down and saw the star glowing brightly, sending a white-hot pain down your arm. "What about it?"

Steve pulled at his shirt's sleeve for a few seconds before lifting it up to reveal the same exact symbol.

"We're soulmates," you breathed out, the realization hitting you like a flash flood.

"Yeah, I guess we are, huh," he smiled softly.

“W-when did yours appear?”

“Monday afternoon.”

“Mine appeared in the morning...I showed it to Tony and Bruce and they said I had a week to find who it was or both me and my soulmate would die. So I guess we got lucky, huh? Only four more days, then...”

“Yeah, we did,” he exhaled. “I’m glad you’re the one. I can’t imagine living out the rest of my life with anyone else.”

“But Peggy...”

“She found her soulmate decades ago,” he explained, “which explained why our relationship was so short-lived. I didn’t expect to find mine...especially not after coming out of the ice. Maybe I had this coming from the get-go, I’d wonder...”

“Then how come they’d appear now?” Your brows furrowed together in confusion. “I don’t get it. We’ve known each other for years.”

“Because it was only this year that I accepted it.”

“Accepted what?”

“That I’d fallen in love with you, and I kept that inside for far too long.”

“You...what?” You were officially rendered speechless. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled lightly, face breaking into a gorgeous, million-dollar grin before turning serious again, lowering his voice. “Y/N, I’m in love with you. You are my infinity and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re my present and my future, and I hate that I couldn’t see that sooner. I should’ve known from the start that Peggy and I wouldn’t work out, but I never understood why...until I met you. I didn’t believe in the concept of soulmates because I felt I was undeserving of that love, but then you came along...and I started hoping and praying I’d find someone who’d love me as much as I love you. So now that I know for sure it’s you, that it always has been and always will be...I couldn’t be more happier that you’re my soulmate.”

You didn’t realize you were crying until he reached forward to brush your hair away from your face and wipe the stray tears that fell, before wrapping an arm around you and gently pulling you towards him.

“God, I made you cry, I’m so sorry,” he choked on a sob of his own. “I’m the worst.”

“I’m not mad at you, Steve,” you sniffed as you wiped your nose with your sleeve, and looked up and cracked a small grin. “You’re just so cheesy.”

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered, so quiet you almost didn’t catch what he said. 

“You can kiss me any day, Captain,” you smiled.

“I love you more than you know.”

“I know. I love you too.”

He then brought a hand up to cup your face, allowing his thumb to lightly skim against your cheek, his warm breath fanning against your skin.

When his lips met yours, it was like you were turning back the clock. Everything in the world stopped and held its breath,  and all the hurt, all the sadness and heartache and pain bottled up inside your body, washed away.

...

BONUS

“HOLY SHIT, Y’ALL ARE SOULMATES?”

The sound of Sam’s screeching made you finally break apart for air. You could’ve been like that for two minutes, two hours, or two weeks, you weren’t sure.

You blushed and quickly averted your gaze. 

Steve’s face was as red as a tomato. “Yeah. We are.”

“I KNEW IT! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN BETWEEN THEM SOON! PAY UP, BARNES! YOU OWE ME TWENTY BUCKS.”

“Come on, man,” Bucky groaned, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a crumpled twenty-dollar bill. “We’re gonna head back home soon, anyways! And you’re not even poor.”

“A bet’s a bet, Barnes.”

“Of course you two bet on it,” you groaned. “Classic Sambucky activity.”

...

NINE MONTHS LATER

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, Captain Rogers,” Fury announced, a rare smile gracing his normally stoic features. 

Steve did his best not to break down sobbing as he slid the ring onto your finger. With the backdrop of the waves gently crashing against the shore and the sun slowly sinking lower and lower into the horizon, he leaned down and cupped your face in his hands, passionately pressing his lips to yours. Your soulmarks glowed brightly in tandem, lighting up in a brilliant gold hue. 

Needless to say, there wasn’t a single dry eye in the house. 

[hesther-mcg]

chained  

➥ pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

➥ summary: the one where two people are chained to one another, hopelessly in love but every bit of wrong for one another

➥ rating: angst, song fic, biker!bucky au 

➥ warnings: explicit language, mentions of toxic relationship 

➥ a/n: happy valentines day! in the name of irony i’m going to post this today, bc i can. this has been rattling around in my noggin for a bit now and i actually rlly like this. i hope u do too. i highly recommend listening to the song while reading, its also available on spotify. 

chained :: elle king ft. cameron neal  chained  marvel m. list

We can run away, but we can’t hide for long 

And all that lingers harms us 

She’d tried it—moving houses, running away from the problems she was used to, changing things. She’d already tried it, and it had worked beautifully at first. The high of being in a new place, a place all to themselves, it was wonderful. And it had brought out the man she had started to believe was gone, the man she’d loved for so many suns and so many moons; years of her life having been spent growing alongside him, and she felt nothing short of complete satisfaction. 

“Thanks for running away with me,” she’d whispered to him in the late hours of the night, head rested on his bare chest and his calloused hand running up and down over the delicate skin of her back.

“I’ll go wherever you want me to, babe,” was his promise, spoken softly into the dark with a tenderness reserved for her heart and ears only. 

But all good things came to an end, and her life had brought truth to that statement. Things settled, routines came back and everything that lingered became visible. The issues that remained, the unspoken anger and unresolved conflicts rearing their ugly heads once again. She’d tried to pack up her life and her love and run away, but she was learning that she couldn’t hide for long. 

I can lie to you, but the truth comes alive

Every time I die saying goodbye

Everything was a slow progression, the honeymoon phase wearing off slowly but surely; the conflicts creeping in where they weren’t welcomed. Again, everything was fine at first, they seemed to move as a team and it filled her heart with a warmth almost indescribable—they were so much of the same mind, in her eyes. 

But then things drifted off course, the scales tipped in every which way except balanced—right where she wanted, and irritation grew to be the default when she saw his hands reach for the motorcycle keys. Betrayal became the default when she looked away from him and nodded her head, giving a flat and unconvincing ‘I’m okay,’ or ‘have fun.’ Hurt became the default when she bit her tongue until her mouth filled with the taste of crimson copper and her sobs shook her entire body, the sound of a roaring motorcycle engine filling the house. 

She could lie, but he always knew. They had their problems, they battled through their conflicts, but they were still positive and negative forces magnetically pulling the other closer, two links in a chain stuck together for eternity. 

Cause I don’t want to change

but I can’t stay this way

Love was a lot of things; sometimes she thought of it as something warm and familiar and safe, and other times she was convinced it was the chain that kept her around. She loved him, god damnit did she love James Barnes, but she knew that she was nearing her limit. Her heart could only take so much before she’d lose herself completely, and then she was done for beyond that point. Forever damaged; irreparable. 

When Y/N thought about a life where she was on her own, miles upon miles away from the man she only wanted love and comfort from, her chest felt similar to how she imagined a sinkhole made the earth feel. The memories they shared, the laughs and the cries and the endless fun, it would forever haunt her if she were to leave—but one could argue that they already haunted her, already plagued her thoughts and dreams and every second she was breathing. 

“What do you want?!” He’d screamed when she’d brought up her concerns, arms raised in the air and brows furrowed. 

“Things can’t stay this way, James,” she’d stressed, fingers knotting her hair as they frantically ran through the strands. 

And I don’t even mind staying chained, and thinking of you

Thinking of you 

“What if I don’t wanna change?” 

The breath had caught in her throat at his words, heart sinking to the pits of her stomach as her teary eyes bore into his, his figure blurry but radiating frustration. 

“Then I’ll leave,” she threatened, the words burning her mouth as she spoke them. “I love you but I won’t let that stop me.” 

But she always did—when he crawled into bed with slow movements and gentle hands, words soft, sweet, and oh so guilty. Apologies and false promises, admissions of love and sweet nothings, it mended her heart for the time being and she remained in the same place. 

Is it up to me?

It’s always been up to you to find the peace we needed to 

Strength had been dwindling, strength to fight for a relationship immersed in chaos. When things blew up, when the road grew rocky and dangerous and sometimes even lethal, it’d always been her to struggle putting the pieces back together. His words of affirmation and endless charm was the glue that only temporarily mended the cracks, but it was her will and her strive that got them there in the end. 

Strength was dwindling, and she was starting to give up. “It’s always been up to me, James,” she’d told him, voice quiet, scratchy, and broken. “It’s always been me, but it’s on you now.” 

He hadn’t responded, lips slightly parted as he took in the way that she didn’t even bother looking at him. He knew he’d been digging a grave, and he was starting to see that eventually he’d have to lie in it if he didn’t straighten up. The problems in their lives, in both him and her, they were deeply rooted and while she’d been trying to hack away at them, he’d only been watering them. 

Is it said and done, is it carved in the stone? 

How many days is it gonna take ‘til we get back home? 

Most days, he did nothing but convince her that their fate was sealed—that their ultimate demise on the horizon and refused to move for anything. She’d tried and tried to tell herself that that wasn’t the truth, exalted all resources willing into existence the fact that they were meant to be—stuck together for the trials and tribulations that life undoubtedly bring them. 

Things could change, and perhaps they would; nothing was said and done for them because only Y/N could write her story and only she could choose her ending. 

But the harder she held on, the longer the path seemed to be. If what they had was a journey through struggle and strife, then the journey seemed years and years long—an endless battle to just make it through the days to even see the end of the road, and it more often than not left her wondering how long it would take before they would make it back home. How long would it be before they returned to where they started—sickeningly sweet, head over heels in love and willing to do anything under the sun for one another. 

Cause I don’t want to change

But I can’t stay this way 

If this was what growth was, then she wished someone had told her of how painful it was. It felt like scratchy throats from screaming matches, aching chests from nights spent clawing away at the burning skin, and so many more things that weren’t even worth listing. The point of it was that she was finally reaching the point where the door was opening, creaking slowly and revealing the outside world where she could escape.

Y/N didn’t want to escape, but she was starting to see that maybe it was what she needed to do. At one point she had loved her life because he had made the sun shine brighter every day and the stars twinkle a little more each night, and while she longed for that version of James he was not anywhere in sight—and hadn’t been for a long time. 

She knew she couldn’t stay this way, she knew it and felt like a complete idiot every time she saw her own reflection, but, much like the aforementioned growth, this change was just as painful. And pain was something she’d felt enough of. 

And I don’t even mind staying chained, and thinking of you

Thinking of you

The doors had all been slammed, every single one had the unfortunate fate of being in the path of an angry James, and a few of them hadn’t survived and refused to close completely. 

“Why do you want to leave so bad, huh? If you don’t wanna be here then just fucking leave!” The emotional torment was clear as day in his voice as he screamed to the top of his lungs, and it tore her heart to shreds. 

“You know damn well why!” She’d shouted back, face beet red as her chest violently heaved. “I don’t fucking deserve this, Buck, and I’m sick and tired of it!” Her nerves buzzed under the surface of her skin and she could feel her pulse in her face, and the man before her only stared back with dark eyes. 

“You won’t change,” she’d sobbed. “You won’t and you know it, and if you loved me you would.” 

“Y/N—” he’d started, taking a step forward but she’d held her hands out, pushing herself against the wall to get further away. 

“No.” Her words were shaky yet void of fear; actually, James could hear the grit that she’d developed after dealing with his shit for so long and he felt his chest cave in slightly. “You stay there and you listen to me.” 

Will you wake me up? Will you shake me up?

Cause I’m losing my way in the game 

The cracks and creases on her heart deepened greatly, and when they did so she felt every bit of it. The way his eyes bore into hers, as if he was searching her soul like he’d done so many times before, made her look away—for this time she couldn’t trust him to search with good intentions. 

“I’ve tried for a long time to make this work, and you can’t tell me you don’t see it. You’re not stupid, James; don’t pretend to be.” She’d shook her head with her last statement, hair going every which way and tears almost filled his eyes because she was right. “But it wont work if something doesn’t give and I’ve given enough!” 

He nodded lamely, because that’s all he could think to do. He knew she didn’t want his words, they didn’t matter right now. 

“Are you even serious about this? About us? You know this isn’t a joke, this is MY life! It goes way beyond just you and your issues and your anger,” her arms waved around in the air. “James, I’m losing myself in this and you’re supposed to save me!” 

The tears did fill his eyes then, stinging the blue orbs and causing him to blink rapidly. He felt like shit, and every bone in his body ached with guilt. 

Even at our best, my love 

Neither one of us was ever really good enough 

The realization that some things truly weren’t meant to be, that some people really weren’t meant to be together, was a tough pill to swallow. Y/N felt herself choke on it multiple times throughout the years, but it was finally down and done with. She couldn’t say if they were never meant to meet, or just never meant to stay together, but either way she knew that they were a recipe for disaster. 

Her chemicals and his mixed together didn’t make the love that lasted a lifetime, the kind that made it through the dark and the light of the rocky road through life. They made poison, a stunning and paralyzing formula of toxic traits and deep rooted issues. They weren’t a match; even at their best they were never compatible—just too blind and in love to see it. 

“I don’t know why I can’t change, and I will always stay this way,” she sang softly, her heartbreak shining through under the bright lights of the stage in a bar miles and miles away from the man she loved. The band behind her kept up well, putting the raw emotion behind every beat and note that this song required, and for that she was grateful. It was a slight break in the constant dull that she felt, a break that she was beginning to believe she wouldn’t see in her lifetime. 

“And I don’t even mind staying chained,” the drawl in her voice was nothing short of old soul and broken dreams, and it wouldn’t have fit in anywhere other than the rundown bar filled with folks of a similar kind. She’d worn heartache daily long before she walked away from that house, but now it never seemed to wipe off. It was never ending, and so was the thought of him. She truly was chained to him, and sometimes in the middle of tear filled nights she told herself that he was still chained to her as well. “And thinking of you.” 

Thinking of you, thinking of you, thinking of you. 

➥ send as ask to be added to the bucky tag list! 

[tickle-bugs]

Incentive

Summary: Eleanor refuses to do the worksheet that Chidi’s assigned--not out of her usual stubbornness, but out of an overwhelming case of the butterflies. Simone provides an incentive that Eleanor can’t refuse. 

I got assigned my darling @peachytickles!!!!! PEACH!!!! I hope you like this bc they’ve been in my head rent!!!! free!!!!!! Happy wooluhwoo month I love you endlessly <33 Huge thank you to @ticklishraspberries for organizing Femslash Feb!! This was an absolute blast :D

“Eleanor, you’re being ridiculous.” Chidi crossed his arms.

“Don’t care. I’m not doing it.” Eleanor slid the sheet of paper back towards Chidi.

“Eleanor-”

“Say my name again and I’ll start throwing stuff, I swear.” She glared at him but he didn’t flinch. 

“Simone needs this data for her study.” He slid the worksheet towards Eleanor, leaving his hand pressed down on the paper so she couldn’t fling it off the desk. Rude. 

“Perhaps we could do it together? I’m never averse to a good study sesh.” Tahani beamed, tucking her fancy pen behind her ear. 

“I’ll pass.” Eleanor slipped out of the classroom, a sour taste on her tongue. 

It’s not that she didn’t want to be helpful--she really did want to be more than the mean lady who sold scams to the elderly--but they were asking far too much of her.

Picture a person that you deeply care for. Answer the following with that person, and that person only, in mind.

She couldn’t even get past the first question without Simone’s stupid beautiful face overwhelming her. Her crush was easy to manage at first, but it had grown into an unavoidable monster over the last few weeks. The other day, Eleanor had heard Simone’s laugh in the other room and snapped a pencil in the middle of a lecture. She drifted off at night imagining Simone wrapping her up in her arms and worming her fingers beneath her shirt, whispering teases into Eleanor’s sensitive ears. 

God, she was so forking screwed. 

Her legs drew her to Simone’s door, hovering just outside the door frame. She was clearly deep in thought--she had a habit of biting her lip when she concentrated. 

“Knock knock,” Eleanor accompanied the phrase with the gesture, immediately cringing at her own corniness. 

“I’d say ‘who’s there’ but, well, I already know the answer. Come in.” Simone waved her in with a smile.

“I’m not doing the worksheet.” Eleanor shoved her hands in her pockets, glaring a hole through Simone’s forehead. 

“Okay.” Simone resumed her typing. Huh.

“It’s dumb and way too personal.” 

“...okay.” Simone raised her eyebrow.

“You can get your data from the others. I’m not doing it.” Eleanor spun on her heel and stormed towards the door. Don’t let me leave, don’t let me leave, don’t let me-

“What if I offered a reward?” Simone pushed her chair out and stood. Eleanor whirled around.

“What could you possibly-”

“I’ll give you tickles until you tap out.” Simone said, oozing nonchalance, as if she hadn't dropped an earth-shattering statement.

“Wh--why would I want that?” Eleanor cursed herself for the break in her voice. 

“Okay, not going to point out the obvious in your behavior for the past forever, but it’s pretty obvious you’re a physically affectionate person. Tickling isn’t that uncommon of a desire, y’know? You crave closeness with the people you care about, but the study is getting in the way, and this worksheet is your latest enemy. I get it, Eleanor. It’s not weird.” Simone leaned on her desk, smiling warmly, and Eleanor couldn’t for the life of her get her vocal chords to function. 

“You don’t have to do it. I’m just giving you an incentive. It’s up to you if you finish the sheet.” Simone held out the folded worksheet, waving it a little in encouragement. Eleanor snatched it and shoved it in her pocket, cheeks burning. 

“Whatever,” Eleanor mumbled, speeding out of the room before she could do anything embarrassing, like agreeing to Simone’s terms. Though, she supposed she already had. 

Ah, fork. 

                                          -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Come in.” Simone took a loud slurp of her smoothie--probably pineapple, judging by the color--and took a few more clacks at her keyboard before looking up. Eleanor held the crumpled worksheet out towards her, cheeks blazing pink, and Simone took it, brushing Eleanor’s fingers with her own. 

“Thank you.” Simone beamed, skimming through her answers. She murmured the answers aloud in an incoherent blur, pausing between irrelevant words to make quiet noises of approval. 

“Don’t mention it.” 

“I believe I promised you a reward.” Simone rounded the desk, positively sparkling with playfulness. 

“Yep.” Eleanor coughed, shuffling backwards a little.

“Any ideas for a safe word?” Simone put her hands on her hips, tilting her head slightly.

“Do we need one?” Eleanor didn’t mean to squeak, she really didn’t, but the sight of Simone stretching and cracking her fingers was nearly too much for her to handle.

“Well, yeah! Otherwise I’d be stopping every time you said ‘stop’ or ‘no’ and I assume that’s going to happen quite a bit.”

“How about...neuron?” Eleanor’s knees hit the back of the couch--couch? How’d they cross the room so fast?--and she fell with an oomf. Simone climbed on top of her, settling her weight firmly across Eleanor’s thighs.

“Perfect.” Simone grinned down at her, fingers poised.

Oh man. Oh man. 

“Where are you ticklish? I’m sure I’ll figure it out myself, but you could give me a few hints.” Simone swooped her fingers in, just barely skimming Eleanor’s t-shirt, and she squealed, hiding her face behind her hands. She’d imagined this for months, hypothesized what that word would sound like falling from Simone’s smirking lips, but nothing could ever compare to this. 

“No,” Eleanor squeaked, peeking between her fingers.

“No? Then you leave me no choice.” Simone sighed, fingers latching onto Eleanor’s ribs like magnets. Eleanor burst into squeaky cackles, arching hard into the sofa. 

“S-Sim--” 

“Sound it out, you can do it. Si-mone.” She vibrated her fingers into the divots between Eleanor’s ribs. 

“Stop!”

“I’m barely even touching you!” Simone laughed, trailing her fingers up and down her ribcage like a xylophone. Eleanor shimmied in place, elbows pressed firmly to her sides, but she couldn’t block out Simone’s accursed fingers. 

“T-Tickles!” A strange gurgling noise escaped from Eleanor’s throat and her next bout of laughter turned deeper, more desperate. 

“Well yeah, Captain Obvious.” Simone launched a flurry of pinches and pokes across Eleanor’s stomach, paying careful attention to the spots that made her fold and twist.

“Hmm, we’ve hit some good spots, but we’re missing something here. Are you sure you don’t want to tell me?” Simone leaned close, close enough for Eleanor to smell her perfume, and god she was going to die here, under the tickly touches of the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. She deserved Good Person Points for this. Not even the strongest soldier would survive being able to see the slight gloss of Simone’s chapstick without completely falling apart. 

“N-No!” She bucked until she flipped herself over. Simone tipped back, grabbing the back of Eleanor’s leg for balance, and she squealed. 

“I am absolutely going to need you to do that again,” Simone whispered, eyes wide. Eleanor turned to protest, but Simone already pinned down her left leg, scribbling over the back of her knee. Eleanor was beyond grateful for the way the couch cushions muffled her screamy, hiccupy giggles. If anyone else heard her, she’d die on the spot. 

“You are the worst-”

“That’s not very nice. I am giving you what you wanted, y’know.” Simone scratched one finger in the dead-center of the pit of Eleanor’s knee. She screeched, kicking wildly, and caught Simone in the shoulder a few times with her heel. She twisted hard, nearly taking both of them to the floor, but she ended up dangling off of the couch, with Simone still anchoring her lower half to the cushions. 

“Rude,” Simone scoffed, but there was a mischievous glint in her eye, and Eleanor suddenly became very aware of the way her shirt had slid up to reveal bare skin. 

“Wait, nonono-”

“I think you owe me an apology,” Simone singsonged, slowly wiggling her fingers just over Eleanor’s skin. Every once in a while, she’d trail her fingers lightly over Eleanor’s stomach just to watch her muscles quiver with panicky, anticipatory giggles. 

“Fork off-”

“Nono, try something like…’Simone is the greatest ever’. That has a nice ring to it, yeah?” Simone smoothed her hands over Eleanor’s skin, taking firm hold of her waistline, and when it appeared she had nothing to say past a protestive scrunch of the nose, Simone squeezed. 

“No!” Eleanor’s laughter overtook her as she batted at Simone’s hands, stuck in a loop of laughter-filled sit-ups while she tried to free herself from Simone’s hands. 

“Again with the rudeness. I’m wounded, Eleanor.” Simone held one hand over her heart while the other pressed into a particularly devastating spot on her side. Eleanor lunged, latching onto Simone’s hands. 

“Gotcha.” Eleanor grinned. 

“Checkmate.” Simone twisted her wrists until Eleanor’s grip faltered, drinking in the look of panic on her face before plunging her hands under her arms. 

“N-Neuron!” Eleanor wheezed, tapping Simone’s wrist. Simone hauled her back up onto the couch, rubbing a soothing hand over her leg. 

“Are you okay?” Simone leaned down to catch Eleanor’s gaze, searching for any unease or discomfort in her expression. 

“Yes! Yeah, that was perfect.” Eleanor ran a hand through her frizzed-out hair, laughing a little in disbelief. The gentle burn of laughter in her chest felt incredible. She let Simone help her up and lead her to the door, absolutely floating on endorphins. 

“This doesn’t have to be a one time thing. My door is always open.” Simone leaned forward, little by little, until they were nose to nose. She tilted her head, eyes flicking down to Eleanor’s lips, as if asking for permission. Oh. Eleanor quickly kissed her before she could squander the opportunity. 

So the smoothie was pineapple. Nice. 

“Y-Yeah. No problemo.” Eleanor cleared her throat, grinning like an idiot. She pecked Simone on the nose, emboldened by dopamine, and slid out of the office. It wasn’t until the door clicked shut behind her that she registered what had just happened. 

“No problemo? Really?” Eleanor hissed, smacking herself in the forehead, but there was a little bounce in her step as she made her way down the hall. 

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Three: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 6-14 and “Alyta’s Missing Earring”

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Two | TaT)

Contents:  Elephants, guesses about gods and dead men, villain team up, the unexpected, AAAAAAH, elaboration on the word cloud above (which is one big Gen, medium Pheris, medium love, and scattered other names), and more quantitative analysis! I love this book.

Format:  Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Chapter 6

285. unkingly moment, last night with her at home

MISMATCHED STOCKINGS (I have a thing about this.)

Wedges of ribbons?

285. cute

286. a pitneen? A drunk bird?

Wait. Gift of animals??? Did he steal the thunderbolts wearing it?

A canary no longer

287. Hilarion and Ion, wow

Throw a cup of wine on me

288. War pants! War pants!

What’s Attolia wearing?

Sophos! (the whistling!)

288. Ok fine it’s gonna be sad ... I say as if I didn’t just experience the trial (the last lighthearted moment)

Pepper!

Be careful Pheris

Also Relius went to Dite and Juridius, right? (I was convinced Dite would show up)

Sinerine!

290. SOCKS! Yay <3 magus

I was resigned to not much magus but he is HERE!

He’s … so much nicer than he was to the kids in the Thief, lol

A CART!

Lamb, falling in same paragraph. Worried.

Gen :( Gen you ran all over the palace and leapt in the water last night. You are so stupid.

292. Yay Sophos I love you

Math buddies!

294. I’M SAD.

They have had this convo before

I love them

It’s because I can that I think I should

295. Do not overreach. Eddis is right

Danger in self indulgence?

I love her! “I was outside chasing your brother with a stick”

296. My heart. You have to trust yourself. I don’t know if I can. Then you have to trust us.

Tactical Irene!

Thanks I’m gonna hold on to it: “The Call of life is a s powerful as the call of death, and it is no weakness to answer to it”

297. Oh no. My children. Tell each other things like that!

Great time to be childish, Gen.

Yeah honestly. It’s bothered her FOREVER

299. Pull it together, kids!

Thx Helen

Inkpots … :( :( :(

Chapter 7

302. See … that Continent occupation isn’t good either!

303. Unfortunately that is NOT an alternative. Bc volcano.

305. This is stressful.

Chloe, interesting

306. Elephants

Oh my god it’s better than I ever could have imagined (there was like 10 years of lead up to the elephants, and I thoroughly enjoyed them)

I love him

Gen wtf

Yes drink up those guards (“We could keep [an elephant] in the guard’s bathhouse! There’s plenty of room.” “And the guards will bathe ...?” “In the palace reservoir.” “Our drinking water.”)

#6 Gen about elephants

308. This is gonna be a disaster

Hilarion with an eyeglass

Fuck Pheris is making this up.

Gen I love you

Oh my god

Honestly idk if Gen is having fun but I AM

They’re. They’re such a power couple.

Also Bu-seneth is so rude to Attolia

309. so vague about battle, but I’m sure it’s horrible

310. hero talk. Chills.

311. all the woman comparisons for Gen (“Would [a world with no war and no heroes be a bad thing?” “That’s a woman’s question”)

Wow. Interesting. Anonymity

312. Don’t listen to them Gen!

Bad tempered cooks

313. lol. Good looks.

Gen. the hand joke. Why

Well that was … a scene (I don’t know my Henry V)

Reassuring to have a glove. Which one?

314. No. Bad. This is what I was afraid of. (Nahuseresh baiting Gen with Kamet)

Ok Pheris

315. That cannot be true. (it was not!)

Gen. No. No.

316. Wow. That worked out well. So far.

They called him annux. If Kamet is really dead…

319. Yeah Attolia is RIGHT

Yeah I can’t actually either!

Irene knows. In his story!

320. Glove resolved very fast

Interesting reversal (Gen and his dad)

Maddening!

Chapter 8

322. who’s charging off in a haze of glory now

Philologos wounded

Wait, the attendants follow him in to battle...

Cleon RIP

Temenus <3

No. Stenides

If they ever returned.

His brother died in an explosion

Gen’s tears

This is sad.

323. lion lamb :(

325. At least they have each other

Morality is an illusion. Like safety?

326. that’s what Costis was mapping, right? (nope)

How many has Gen killed now

328. Who. Pol? Ambiades? (The cairn man question remains)

Oh no

Oh no. you can fall from a horse

HILARION!

Is Fordad a spy?

I am just not accepting this yet

WAIT THE MEDES TOOK HIM! (I thought the Attolians had taken Gen, or Gen’s body, at first.)

330. wow things only Pheris can do

GDI Erondites

WOW THIS IS A VILLAIN TEAM UP

332. You gave it to him dude (Nahuseresh asking “Why does he still have this?” about Gen’s hook)

I love Gen. I wonder if he’s afraid.

This is bad.

Whose treason, whose betrayal?

333. Yeah! Kamet said so (“Tell me again that you are king.” “Annux, if you prefer.”)

334. Oh god.

Get your stories straight bastards

Rolled in a rug!

336. Oh gen

Oh god

Yeah this is …

Be careful what you ask for

338. What did he sign as, though, Attolis? Eugenides?

Nomenus wtf

What does mwt have against facial hair (Fordad, Nahuseresh)

Costis please come (idk how I thought he was going to help, but I was in Costis Denial and expected him to show up at any moment)

Everyone must be going through a lot

A face like an open grave

Gen.

Gen I love you

YES

YES

Is he … invulnerable now?

Gen what.

Is he possessed? Is he already a god?

341. Yeah same. (“I think he meant that I should not fear him, either. I did, though ... I still followed him”)

This isn’t being self indulgent or overreaching, is it?

342. RIP Ion Nomenus

“My work”

Oh Nomenus

Does he just exist for the morally gray and loyal angst feelings? It works (...)

344. What did he DO

Yes! Swearing Gen!

345. love all caps Gen

Those names

Aaah

346. Ooof.

Chapter 9

347. moon promises

Yeah

Noooo Philologos :(

Legarus … :(

349. Gen what what

Sparks

Costis? Stenides? STENIDES?

Wow ok he killed Bu-seneth

350. god

See I said Nahuseresh shouldn’t have said that

Also is Gen a bastard

351. WHAT (“Because your council had just voted to kill him”)

Oh Helen

Oh Irene

Does he invite him in?

This is reassuring to the reader (“He can bear his god a little while without losing himself”)

Aaaaah Galen

354. Gen that’s a lot. A lot.

Don’t kill everyone.

So so so x7 of doom

Bye Yorn

I hope he wins too

Go away Nahuseresh

Omg

another fall

Interregnum

Ok it was Lader (when you don’t know who the man at the cairn was, keep on guessing!)

Yeah the circumstances thing is back

Oh god

Oh no

Chapter 10

361. how long has it been?

362. three days

I love them (Elephants! My excellent queen!)

You promised to trust him

364. Oh no. Oh no. (Relius)

370. These Helen convos…

371. Sad. :(

372. Emtis and Lader

Yeah.

Omg

374. Wow

Steal by elephant?

377. Don’t forget about Dite!

378. He’s gonna kill him?

379. Is Dite dead too?

Oh Sejanus

Oh I see

He’s got a mercy taste too

380. Switching!

Lying in moonlight. Hm.

381. Yesss

Nooooo

383. I’m nervous

Gods blessing on your road

Wow. <3

They would have fallen… (if Pheris had gone through with his plan, that’s how they both would have died)

Did not expect Sejanus feelings in Rott.

Chapter 11

386. He’s gonna know. But the trust.

Ion knows.

390. Gen…

Pheris is Lyopidus?

I’m scared

393. I kind of love Ion

More Sejanus, bring it on

I’m nervous

Hmmm… who could it be

395. MoW :( <3 I will not be ok if he dies too

Gen knows the way bc Costis (nope)

Oh my god these two (“I lied” “I know”)

Chapter 12

398. Oh no.

This is not

Her Thief

Irene. “only sleeping” this is what Eddis said to her

But mist… water???

Face touch

402. not living or dead. King

Yes. But no.

403. crying at everything and the MoW next to him

There he went

It was the Eddisians. He fought with them.

404. yeah that’s a lot to deal with, Pheris

405. what a mystery man (Sejanus)

Lol mysterious exit averted

Excuse me that was a difference

406. :(

Am I king

407. Helen is once again right. She’s also always right

MOIRA was Melisande???!??!? (who even knows)

409. ?? Irene?

Same as for Dite. Man loves his brothers. (nephews. you know what I mean.)

Nice.

AAH yup. Add it to the list (“How neatly you tie them together” ... the list of is ways Gen and Irene are becoming more like each other)

410. speaking of which where is Costis!

Hm… what god was that

I love their reactions

411. SPLENDID.

Oh Irene. It’s true <3

It’s so true (“When the king gives his heart he gives it completely”)

Now I’m crying again, at them

412. Gen, she has a point.

Amazing. I … I don’t think she meant to ask like THAT

Jesus, Gen.

You do not know a wagon from a wheelbarrow

413. Irene!

She’d better get home safe.

Gen!

Omg

414. I have another bad feeling, about Gen

415. High king or queen though?

Magus <3

Chapter 13

416. “of course”

That’s ominous

417. No! Sejanus!

A gut wound yikes

418. sadness

419. lol “ill will”

We’re in Roa. My heart’s pounding.

422. I love Gen.

YESSS

Yes I love them.

Sheep.

Kamet!!!

?!?

Costis. Mattresses exist.

424. Oh no.

426. roof dream

Good roof dream

Good job Helen

428. TWINS. Everyone was RIGHT

Reyatimi

Oh shit. The sky.

Oh dear. :( aaah

430. Climbing the rigging!

“it’s just that you have so many least favorite things”

431. I love them (Gen and Irene)

432. I love them (Gen and Helen)

433. RIGHT! I was thinking

I can’t <3 (they’re naming the baby after the MoW, and it’s perfect, and she’s not gonna tell us, huh)

OH MY GOD!!! (baby thief!)

WOW!

434. AAAAAAH (Hector! @threetoadswaltz​ finished reading before me and knew that I would explode about this and I DID, I threw my arms in the air! HECTOR!)

PERFECTION!

435. AAAAAAAAH (this was when it became clear they were going to dance on the roof)

Yes she was (as surefooted as the king)

Is this the first time she’s Irene

Yes.

I’m filled with happiness

Celia and Lavia again … lol.

Lol Chloe

THALIA

CRENELATED wall

HE’S ALIVE

Kamet is a sweetheart

The gods!!!

The gods!

Aracthus

Mystery goddess?

Ula?

Moira! Yes!

(I was very happy. The page itself:)

Alyta’s Missing Earring

Wait. Was it Alyta.

Glad we got a bi god (with all due respect to Immakuk and Ennikar, whose bi-ness and godliness is perhaps more up to the reader)

Got very bi very fast

Also. He’s Gen.

Interesting difference in story

Kathodicia!

Are we literally getting ALL the answers? (No. But so many more than I expected!)

Gen’s grandfather sucks

An urn huh

Omg. Heiro’s earrings?

Oh my gosh.

Same, Gen. Same.

Obvs Phresine knows.

Is Phresine a goddess?

Same, Gen. Same.

She got to tell a story! She is so happy!

I think he’s a little scared

Moleskin

Yeah peace huh

This series is socially sanctioned silliness

1000 Eugenides. Wow.

They did melt though

Little thief.

<3 <3 <3

He’s a character in a story

A big question

Tamarisk? Takima? (We are not getting all the answers.)

That’s it! Thank you for reading - it feels very self-indulgent to type up all of these, but I will honestly take most chances to relive the intense and wonderful experience of reading this book for the first time, which often means looking back at my own notes and sometimes means sharing them with people. Also, I really love reading liveblogs/real-time book thoughts, so here is one from awhile ago ... all at once.

Anyway, check out this word cloud from all of the notes (made with this site):

It’s ... mostly just character names, with a variety of words that express my enthusiasm and feeling (love, lol, wow, yes, excuse me...). Gen is the biggest because I said his name 115 times! Here are some totals for the other characters who came up a lot:

115 - Gen (and 10 Eugenides)

42 - Pheris

26 - Costis

18 - Irene (and 6 Attolia)

16 - Helen (and 8 Eddis)

10 - Sophos (and 4 Sounis)

12 - the magus

11- Kamet

11 - Teleus

10 - Relius

9 - Ion

6 - MoW

6 - Moira

5 - Sejanus

These don’t fully represent how much I had to say about them, because I didn’t always refer to people by name or title ... which kind of explains why Costis’s total is ridiculously high compared to how much he is in the book -  I likely have more notes about other characters, but I didn’t need to bring up their names because they were already present in the scenes I was taking notes on (for example, I think I talked about Relius more than Teleus, the magus, or Kamet, but many of those just referred to him as he, because it was obvious to me who I meant). But also I was just looking for Costis! Anyway. My use of names and titles for the monarchs also really illustrates how much this book reshaped the way I think of these characters’ relationship to them, Gen’s and Irene’s especially.

It’s representative of my feelings about this series that I wrote “I love them” about so many combinations of characters. Who, exactly? And how many times? Well...

5 - Gen and Irene

4 - Gen and Helen

2 - Gen and Pheris

1 - Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos

1 - Helen and Sophos

1 - Costis and Kamet

1 - unknown combo of Gen, Pheris, and Relius on p.166, I love them all and can’t remember. Kamet’s map was there, too, and I do love Kamet, so maybe he was in there too.

no matter what the numbers say, I love them all endlessly, and I love this book.

be blessed in your endeavors, yes I will take any questions about these notebook screams, etc.

[honeypirate]

jan 6 2017

I’m posting this bc I thought it was cute. I don’t remember writing it but I want to post it so I can keep it forever. Hasn’t been edited for three years.

Spencer and original character fic 

Opposites Attract 

Chapter one 

Jane walked into the elevator and pressed the floor’s button. 

“You can do this. You deserve this job. No one else wants this job more than you. This is your dream. This has been your dream your entire life. You have been to school for practically nine years preparing yourself for this. An undergrad in philosophy, a master’s degree in psychology with a minor in sociology, and you got your doctorate in forensic psychology. You are ready. You are prepared. You can do this.” Jane smiles as the elevator doors open. She steps out onto the floor of what seemed to be a very busy office. ‘So this is the BAU’ Jane thought to herself. A tall, dark, and extremely handsome man approached you. “Hi” the man looked you over obviously checking you out. “I’m Agent Derek Morgan. Can I help you?” he reaches his hand out, you take it and firmly shake it “Hi, my name is Jane August Mills. I have a meeting with –“  you were cut off “Miss Mills. In here” you looked up at the man who was walking back into his office across the room. You looked at Derek and he winked at you. “just relax Jane. He’s a lot softer than you would think.” She smiled and laughed nervously as she made her way across the office all eyes watching. Before she entered she swallowed and regained as much of her composure as she could. “Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner, thank you for meeting with me” she said as she stepped into his office. He was looking at a file, “shut the door” He said without looking up. Jane knew it was her file. She closed the door and sat down in the chair across from him. “Why do you want to work for the FBI?” the question caught her a little off guard. She didn’t know why. She prepared for this. He didn’t look up as she answered the question. “as you probably know, my sister was murdered by a serial killer fifteen years ago. She was kidnapped when she was ten. I barely even knew her.” He nods and finally looks up at you. Jane meets his gaze, trying to look professional. “after that, I had a hard time. The guy was never caught and he is now presumed dead. Because of that time in my life I decided that I never watched another family to feel the way mine did, I dedicated myself to become the person who could fight for these families. To help them find the closure I never had. I want to make a positive difference in this country and I believe that I am prepared to do so.” She said the last sentence with conviction. She knew she was ready, “well, Miss Mills, I believe that you are qualified on paper, but I won’t be sure until I see you in the field. We have a case that just came in and if you can start now, we will reassess your qualifications at the end of the case.” Agent Hotchner says, his facial expression never changing. “Absolutely. Thank you for the opportunity. I hope to prove to you that I can do this.”  He stands up and shakes Jane’s hand. “Follow me” 

Agent Hotchner leads Jane into a large room with a table and a projector, the seats around the table were almost all full. She looks around at everyone, Derek winks and smiles at her, his eyes saying something like ‘I knew it’. Her eyes found a man, a boy really, with a mop of curls on his head and a quizzical brow. She couldn’t figure him out. “Everyone, this is Jane Mills. By the end of this case she very well may be joining our team.” Hotchner says and then turns to Jane “Have a seat” He says and she nods, walking over to the empty seat next to Derek and across from the man boy. 

“It is wonderful to meet you! I am Penelope Garcia! This is Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Derek Morgan, whom I say you already met this morning, David Rossi, and our boy genius, Spencer Reid”. Jane smiles, “It’s my pleasure to meet you all.” “What do we have Garcia?” Hotchner says. She felt eyes on her. As Garcia lunches into the case she flicks her gaze across the table at the boy genius, he was staring into her eyes and she felt herself blush. He shakes his head slightly and looks down as Jane turns her attention to Garcia. 

“On to the icky news.” Garcia clicks the remote and a picture flashes on screen “Jasmine Holliday, 32, a teacher in long island, was murdered while on vacation in Florida last week. She is the fifth woman to be found in the area within the month. All of the victims were from different areas on vacation in the area. All victims were hung and then after they were dead their ankles were cut and they were bled dry.” 

“were their signs of sexual assault?” Spencer speaks up, his voice gave Jane butterflies for some weird reason, she shakes it off. “None.”  Derek scoots his chair closer and shares his file with Jane. She smiles at him her thanks. 

Jane speaks up, “so this unsub, abducts women on vacation between the ages of 20 and 35, and then murders them to drain them of blood. What is he doing with their blood?” 

“That is what we are going to find out. Morgan, take jane back to her apartment to get her a go bag. Wheels up in 45” Hotchner responds and then stands and leaves the room, everyone else following. 

“I need to grab something back at my place, mind if I come along?” Spencer asks “Of course, but be quick. Come on jane lets go. You can tell us all about yourself on the ride.” Derek winks at her again and she feels her cheeks get warm. “I don’t know how much I can tell in the short amount of time it takes to get to my apartment. I live just around the corner” Jane laughs and follows them out. “Down the block on the left?” Spencer asks and she nods “I live there as well. I must has seen you there before. That’s why you look so familiar.”  “Wow. What a small world” jane comments as she gets in the back of the SUV Derek led them to. 

Back in the plane Jane was seated in the back next to Spencer, he was reading a book about psychology? Sociology? Jane wasn’t pang attention. This was her first time flying and she was nervous. She tried to pay attention to Hatch bunt to be honest she couldn’t keep up. She heard something about jasmine Holliday being abducted at a gas station, just like the other girls, but as the plane started to take off she closed her eyes. “this is your first time flying” it was a statement, not a question. An observance by Spencer. She released the breath she was holding and nodded. “it’s kind of obvious huh?” Jane didn’t even look at him. She felt him turn his body towards her. “you’re safe, Jane.” He whispers and lightly grabbed her hand. She opened her eyes and when they met his she was immediately calm and relaxed. “thank you Spencer” she whisper back and he started to rub circles on her hand with his thumb. He didn’t let go until they landed, you noticed that Morgan kept staring at your hands with the weirdest look. 

“Jane, Spencer, and Morgan, go talk to the boyfriend of Jasmine, JJ and Prentiss go to the dump site, and Rossi and I will go see the families of the other victims when they come to the police station.” 

“do you mind if we look around?” Jane asked Jasmine’s boyfriend, Jimmy, who just nodded. Spencer seemed to have this covered so Jane and Morgan took a look around the house, eventually making it back to the bedroom. “he doesn’t do that, you know.” Morgan said once they were alone “doesn’t do want?” Jane asked him “ he doesn’t touch people. He doesn’t like germs.” Morgan said while going through the bedside table. Janes hand still tingled where Spencer was touching her. Her heart beat an little faster and her face flushed. “oh?” she said, barely a whisper.  She just met this man boy and he had such a hold on her heart already. She pushed down her feelings, being experienced in the field of unrequited feelings she has learned to keep her feelings to herself. Morgan was about to say something but stopped when spencer came into the room. “you guys find anything?” he asks and Morgan tells him that you hadn’t. there was nothing left to do here and Spencer decided to fill you in with what he found out at the police station with everyone else. 

She knew that she didn’t know him very well, but she felt compelled to approach him. She felt this pull in her ribs that was connected to him. She had to speak to him, she couldn’t take him looking so miserable and gloomy. “You make a difference you know, one person at a time”  he looked up into her eyes and nods. Jane pulls him into a hug, she knew he wasn’t big on personal contact but she couldn’t help herself. Spencer was hesitant but he eventually relaxed and gave into it. They stood together for a while, it felt comfortable 

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Owen Grady’s child

Owen Grady x child!reader

warnings: knives, guns

a/n: i cannot remember the plot bare w me

prompt: being owen’s child

okay, let’s start with the fact that he’s a single dad

that did not stop him from raising you right

navy brat

after a little bit of instability during his years of service, he got a job as a raptor trainer

so you see, it wasn’t a typical childhood

you two moved to isla nublar so he could begin his work

“woah, that’s a dinosaur?”

“yeah, kiddo, she’s a velociraptor”

you were a bit older when you met the dinosaurs, so owen trusted you to be around them

“if you respect them, they’ll respect you”

blue took a liking to you pretty quick!!!

owen thought it was adorable the way you got along with the raptors

you were sort of like a co-trainer

living in that lil trailer

“this place is too small”

“quit your complaining and eat your mac and cheese”

your dad taught you how to fix cars and motorcycles

you did a bang-up job

“you really are my child. oh, my god, im so proud”

watching tv with owen all the damn time

it was usually cartoons though bc that was all he cared to watch

sometimes he forgets that you are not a raptor and you have to jog his memory

“can you get your hand out of my face before i tear it off?”

half of your holiday gifts are weapons

“look at this knife, y/n! it’s two inches longer than your old one. you’ll grow into it”

“dad, a knife is not a pair of pants...but thank you, i love it”

you’re pretty good at throwing knives, though. your dad put a target on a nearby tree for you to practice

every once in a while it’s gun practice, though

“okay, remember the proper foot stance...now arms. make sure not to lock up, make sure your fingers are clear from anything that could move...okay, go!”

there was a high level of trust between you and your dad

he ruffles your hair a lot, you used to care

you no longer care

you had free admission to the park, so sometimes you’d take the day off and wander around for a while

you always came home with a stuffed animal (or several)

“is that a stuffed pterodactyl?”

“his name is pterry”

“nice”

back to raptor training: you loved it!!!!!!!

training a dinosaur was nothing like training a dog, lemme tell you

these lovely dinos made you so happy!!!

they’re pretty at-ease when you’re nearby

arguing when anyone talks about using them for some sort of selfish profit

“they’re animals, dipshit! stop treating them like weapons!”

“mr. grady, are you going to tell your child to behave?”

“no, no i will not”

claire popping over to see your dad while you were working on his bike

because she suddenly needed your dad’s help

and wanted to exclude you until your dad said he wouldn’t do anything unless you had the opportunity to come along

“you know, y/n, i have a nephew who’s about the same age as you visiting here right now”

“how old am i, claire?”

she did not have a response

your dad was stifling chuckles

“nice one, kid” *high five*

tHe InDoMiNuS rEx

you: 👀

owen: 👀

yeah this was not gonna be good

tbh you almost died when you were surveying the cage

why? oh, i don’t know...because there was a BIG FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THAT BITCH

“y/n! under there!”

you ran ahead of owen and ducked under a truck where he soon followed (and dumped gasoline all over yall)

terrifying, truly

your dad did not want to let you out of his sight

not todayyyy

“are you okay, yeah?”

“perfect...”

busting into the control center :) tee hee

while owen was barking orders at people and telling them to not do what they were doing, you were sitting next to the guy with a bunch of dinosaurs on his desk

“you like them?”

“not really, i’m not five”

“oh...”

turning to the screen to see flatlining soldiers

“oh, shit. uh, that’s not good. you need to close the park maybe?”

they dont like listening to the child with the bright ideas ig

they did end up shutting off rides though. best they can do, huh?

claire couldnt get in contact with her nephews

you went after them together

it was a long ass journey

you almost died a few times

although your father did trust you to take care of yourself, even in a situation like this, he still was extremely worried for your safety

you got a gun :)

this was actually positively the worst day of your life

okay, it took a long while to catch up to claire’s nephews

“jesus, claire, you’re nephews sure know how to move. this is getting exhausting”

you didn’t find them until the......pterodactyls got loose

“pterry would never do something like this”

“not the time or place, y/n”

“sorry, dad”

finally finding those damn kids

“hey, i’m y/n, your crazy ass aunt just dragged me and my dad all the way around the island to find you!”

oh yeah a pterodactyl tackled your dad

whoop de do your gun was jammed

claire saved the day and all three of you witnessed their little display of pda amidst chaos

“wow, uh, maybe we’ll be cousins...”

your dad finally caved and agreed to use the raptors to find the indominus rex

and you got to prove your badassery out there

“you sure you’re up for this mission, y/n? you know you can stay with claire and the boys if you want”

“i’ll be okay, dad, i promise”

he gave you a hug

YOU GOT A MF MOTORCYCLE

okay i cant lie, you and your dad riding motorcycles side-by-side among velociraptors was probably the coolest thing you’ll ever get to do

but they, uh, kind of turned on you and next thing you know, you were speeding after the ambulance claire was driving

zach and gray were relieved to see you

you gave ‘em a little wave

“do you think we’ll ever be that cool?”

“gray, not now”

“i’m gonna take that as a ‘no’”

CLAIRE LET OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX

it was an Experience(tm)

you were split up from your dad and the boys while she was doing that

so you were deathly worried

running over there when it was safe

“is everyone alright?”

“define ‘alright’” -gray

“we’re fine, y/n” -zach

“are you okay?” -dad

“yeah, i think so”

this final battle between the dinosaurs was a bit shocking to watch, but it was hard to keep your eyes off

it all wrapped up and the dinos were let loose

and......the park got closed down

you and your dad were unemployed effective immediately

but your dad and claire finally got together

“you guys are sweet but are we all going to fit in that little camper?”

“we’ll make it work”

they did for a while

but there was a lot if arguing

your dad wanted to reside in the camper forever, claire didn’t, they broke up, you stayed with your dad to help him out during hard times, he decided to build a cabin

he claims he was not affected by the breakup but you knew better

you and your dad had an unbreakable bond, you’d been through so much together

it was only a matter of time before the world had something new in store for you and dad

taglist:

[wall-maria-fritz]

The Wingman (Erwin Smith x Marie)

Chapter 6: The Scout

Reposting this because I am officially overhauling my @levi-lives blog, in lieu of this one because SOMEONE Tumblr won't let my posts show up from there anymore! grrrr.

@levi-lives blog is still up tho, if you would like still see my original posts

THE WINGMAN MASTERLIST

A/N: FINALLY! So remember when I said this chapter was only going to be 5k words? WELL BEEYATCH IT’S 6.5K WORDS HAPPY UPDATE, HAVE A NICE DAY. In retrospect, it seems like I can only seem to write when I’m heartbroken and depressed, haha *sweats nervously at my 27 remaining chapters* But hopefully this thick boi of a chapter would be worth the wait! I’m just a little swamped these days, thanks to Ms. Rona’s world tour so updates are pretty sparse. But don’t you worry child, bc I still plan on finishing this baby. Music Inspo: Dream Sweet in Sea Major by Miracle Musical Crime by Private Island Do It All the Time by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME The Boys Are Too Refined by The Hush Sound The Other Lover by Little Dragon

The Wingman Playlist

Chapter 6: The Scout

Krolva District, Wall Rose

Spring, 825

“Mama, why can’t I go to school with Papa and Derek yet?”

Erwin whined in his little voice. His chubby little legs were swinging and bouncing up and against his bum from where he was sprawled out on his mother’s Persian carpet, with his favorite picture book of The Secret Garden opened in front of him—Erwin has always been an avid reader. And he loved The Secret Garden best of all.

Agatha Smith looked up from her paperwork. As Krolva District’s council chairperson, she’s been busy reading through district reports all morning. For the most part, her son has been quietly reading his book like the good boy he is. But Agatha knew her son, and it was only a matter of time before her little genius started asking her the curiosities which—how Erwin would say—‘bugged his mind.’

“Because you’re still little, darling. You’re just three years old!” Agatha smiled brightly at her baby, hoping it would help convince Erwin why he can’t go join his father and brother yet. Although, Agatha tried to ignore the twinge of sadness in her stomach at the thought of her son growing up.

She was perfectly fine with her baby staying home, and keeping her company; safe in her home office for the rest of forever.

Erwin meanwhile, as much as he enjoyed reading and coloring in his mother’s pretty office—with all the big books, the many vases full of  flowers, and the ever-present smell of strawberry tea—still wanted to go on the adventures Derek would  tell him about whenever his brother comes back home in the afternoon.

School just sounded so fun to Erwin! He wanted to play with kids like him, and read more books!

Erwin puffed up his cheeks, ‘It wasn’t fair. How come Derek gets to go, all because he’s older?’

“But I thought you said I was a big boy already!”

Agatha tried to hide her smile at Erwin’s quick retort. Her son has always been a clever boy.

“Well, you need to get just one more year bigger,” the boy’s mother says, as she held up one finger.

Erwin pouted. His cheeks were starting to grow red; the boy was going to cry.

“ookay, ookay,” Agatha immediately stood to scoop up her son the moment she saw him rubbing at  his blue eyes. She repositioned him at her hip, and peeked into the little boy’s clear blue eyes.

Her husband’s eyes.

Tiny drops of tears were already rolling down Erwin’s chubby, red cheeks. Like tiny little diamonds.

Agatha cooed, “I’m sorry you can’t go with Papa and Derek yet, but don’t you like staying with mama at home?” Agatha’s cobalt eyes peeked into Erwin’s. Erwin nodded, still swiping his small fists at his tears.

“How about Mama makes you your favorite strawberry pie, huh? Would that make you feel better?”

Erwin’s teary eyes looked up at his mother, “You’ll make me lots?”

His mother only ever gave him one slice since she’s very particular about making sure her boys are eating healthy.

And anyways, as a working mom, having two sugar-rushed boys isn’t going to help her productivity. Nor does she want them to be spoiled.

It’s a  different story for Erwin’s father, though. Jonathan was really a child himself, and saw no problem in giving his sons a few extra slices of pies.

As long as his wife never finds out, of course.

Agatha pauses at the request. Lots of slices meant lots more strawberries to pick. She glanced back at her pile of paperwork, and all the district proposals waiting for her approval to peruse. Agatha knew she simply did not have the extra time to pick strawberries.

“Well, then why don’t you go ask Sibyl to accompany you to pick yourself the juiciest, sweetest strawberries we have, yeah? Don’t you want to pick the best ones, Erwin?”

Erwin immediately perked up, “Yes, please Mama! I want to pick the strawberries!”

And just like, Erwin’s little legs ran him out the room and to his nanny for an hour of chores.

Not only did she calm her son down, that was also one task off her planner. Agatha patted herself. ‘Nice save, Mrs. Smith.’

~

When Jonathan and Derek arrived home that afternoon, Jonathan immediately sought out his wife, who was at the patio overlooking the garden. She was busy setting up tea and freshly baked pie slices for her two other boys, while a little Erwin was already happily scooping up the last of his strawberry pie.

Jonathan kissed the top of his wife’s sandy blonde head, and patted his younger son’s golden one.

“Someone’s been chowing down!” Jonathan’s laughter seemed to boom to Erwin’s ears. “Wow! Seems like Mama’s been spoiling you today, huh?” Jonathan’s clear blue eyes crinkled tenderly as he watched Erwin drop a big strawberry into his tiny rosebud mouth

“PIES!!!”

Derek immediately ran and seated himself down the moment he saw the treats. He excitedly took a teaspoon, started scooping himself big portions of strawberry pie.

“Hey young man, kiss mama first,” Jonathan chides his eldest. Agatha bends down, and soon enough Derek gives his mother a kiss on the cheek. Though, the kid was didn’t even look away from the treats.

Jonathan was about to say more, but his wife just patted his chest sweetly, and mouthed, ‘it’s fine.’ The parents watched their kids eat, while gently reminding them to slow down and make space for dinner.

In the middle of tea time, with his mouth full of strawberries, Derek exclaims, “You won’t belieeeeve what Papa taught us today, Erwin!”

Erwin looked to his brother in wonder, “Tell me, tell me!” Erwin caught his mother’s disapproving look.

“…please?”

Before Derek could gulped down what he was chewing, Jonathan already cut in. “Aww, don’t tell spoilers, Derek.”

“Spoilers?” two pairs of little clear and cobalt blue eyes looked to their father.

“It means, let your brother find out our lesson himself once he’s your age,” Jonathan says as he gives Derek a little tickle. Derek giggled happily.

“Awwwwww,” Erwin whined, knowing he’d have to wait a while, seeing as Derek was already six.

“But I wanna know, Papa,” he pouted.

“Want to,” Agatha corrected.

“I want to know, Papa.”

“Alright, alright,” Jonathan gave in. He couldn’t really resist his sons. “How about I tell you the Legend of King Arthur and The Excalibur tonight. Does that sound good?”

The boys cheered, already babbling how that was their favorite story, and how excited they were for bedtime. Another tactic Jonathan picked up from his clever wife to get the boys into bed.

“As long as,” Agatha cautioned within the din of giggles, “You smarty-pants go to bed on time.”

Agatha had an eyebrow quirked up, as she turned to give her husband a stern look as well. As if saying, ‘You better make sure, Jonathan.’

All three, effectively charming their mom, were already giving her puppy dog eyes. Jonathan proceeded to solemnly cross his heart, and so did the boys.

~

For Erwin, his father was not only the smartest person he’s ever met, he was also the most fun. His dad was so fun, that even his stressed out mother would laugh whenever he’s around.

And every night, Jonathan made sure to read to his kids. Animatedly telling them stories of far off lands and great dragons for kings and princes to slay.

Every night, passing on to his sons the yearning to dream beyond. To look beyond. To look around their realities with a curious, ever-critical eye.

And it was something the brothers picked up well, as the two grew up locking themselves in their home library, getting lost in volume after volume. Their fair heads joined together as they poured into a book on the carpeted floor.

Even after what ultimately happened, Derek stayed firm and true; Erwin’s best friend and brother till the very end. The two swore to defend their father’s legacy. Dedicated their hearts to finding out the truth because really,

They were still the little children listening to their father’s stories in wonderment.

~~~

Whispers and shuffling snap Erwin out of his ruminations.

Already at the Corps’ Archives Office with his father’s research journal hidden beneath several notebooks and volumes of military discourse (and perhaps a love letter for a certain bright eyed woman), Erwin hesitated at turning the doorknob.

Was some other cadet using the office today? Erwin was sure he read Derek’s schedule correctly before burning the letter. Then Erwin had his answer;

“Oh Derek, please!”

Considering his brother’s uhh… reputation, it wasn’t difficult to guess what exactly was happening on the other side of that door.

Erwin shook his head, ‘That letter wasn’t kidding. He’s got a girl alright.’

And with a smirk, he then swings open the door—

Adeline Müller jumps off of her lover in a panic. It was clear by the disheveled locks of her platinum blonde hair, as well as her smushed cherry lip gloss that the two have been busy.

“E-Erwin!” she exclaims, trying to smooth down her now-crinkled nurse’s uniform as gracefully as she can despite the situation.

Adeline’s doe-like purple eyes flitted between her lover and his brother’s knowing look.

Erwin smiled courteously at the lady, “Good morning, Nurse Adeline.”

“Hi.” Adeline gulps, as her small hand flies to hide the creeping blush at her neck.

Erwin then looks pointedly at his brother, a smug look on his face.

“Derek.”

Derek puffed out an exasperated breath.

“Brother.” Derek grits out as his eyes turn to slits. “Punctual as always.”

Erwin gestured offhandedly, a picture of nonchalance, “You called for me.” His polite but teasing smile comes back, and turns to Adeline, who has now managed to put her little nurse cap to rights on her head. “I hope my brother’s been a good patient, seeing as you’ve been busy helping him feel better, miss.”

Derek puffs out his chest at that, his Scouting Legion uniform making his already imposing height look even more domineering. He pulls a profusely blushing Adeline to his side, proudly beaming out, and “Oh I’ve been an excellent patient, Erwin. Little Nurse Adeline here has been tending to my Titan bone—“

“Shut up!” came the woman’s cry after giving her lover a good smack to the arm. She tried to look as menacing as she can in the face of all the cajoling, but see…

…she was just too cute, and the fierce eyes just really weren’t working.

Adeline Müller was already a remarkably petite woman. And at that very moment, not only did she feel miniscule, she also wished the ground would swallow her up in embarrassment.

Well, Adeline supposes, at least it was just Erwin. Any other cadet, and news would have reached her father and…

Adeline shivered, ‘Who knows what he would do to her Derek?’ Nonetheless, she knew what Erwin was here for, and she was more than willing to leave.

Derek started chuckling, and leaned down to tenderly kiss the top of her head. Suddenly, all was forgotten, and Adeline was once again gazing dotingly up at her lover. Derek then whispers ‘conspiratorially’ at his brother, “Legion perks.” Then winks at Adeline.

Adeline rolls her big purple eyes, while Erwin just gave a slow, sarcastic nod, his mouth forming an—

‘Ah.’

Before the most infuriating brothers in the Three Walls decided to tease her again, Adeline hastily darts over to Derek to give him a peck, saying that the Head Nurse will be looking for her at the Infirmary soon, which Derek returns with whispering in the poor girl’s ear, before kissing her hand.

Whatever it was, had Adeline blooming red, her eyes growing to saucers. She swats at Derek again, before flying out the door, she pauses;

“Bye, Erwin. And please tell Mike that Mrs. Kissling is onto him and Greta!”

Then the tiny blonde all but runs out the office.

Erwin sighs inwardly, ‘Even the fucking nurses Mike?!’

“Yes, ma’am!” Erwin hollers back. His face turns serious as he faces his brother,

“Müller’s going to castrate you.”

“Hah! I can outrun Corpse Cock on foot, and he still won’t catch me even if the old bastard used 3DMG!”

“She’s engaged.  To Alexei Lobov, no less.”

“And? I’m pretty much as good as dead with what I do. What’s some butterball nobleman gonna do to scare me?”

Derek swept back the same golden blonde hair as Erwin’s, while his cobalt blue eyes twinkled.

“Besides, I’m not going to go around fighting Titans to have Corpse Cock and some pig getting in the way of me and my girl,” came Derek’s obnoxious reply with his equally obnoxious grin.

Derek Smith was a man with what their mother calls ‘an award-winning smile.’  This was only accentuated by his Smith-good looks, his ever-present stubble, and perfect teeth.

Erwin snorted sarcastically, “Nice to see the Titans haven’t scared the jackass out of you yet, Derek.”

Although Erwin’s brother can be a smart-mouthed git, hearing his familiar Wall Rose twang alone was enough to bring back the nostalgia of home. Soon enough, both men were shaking their heads and chuckling fondly, knowing full well that no other man within the three walls could understand the other, as much as each other.

And within that familiar bubble of a moment, the Smith brothers finally move to give each other a firm hug.

~

Derek Smith’s thick eyebrows (it’s genetic, unfortunately) crinkled in concentration, as he was hunched over trying to discern the messy scrawl of his father’s handwriting. Derek rubbed at his stubble, a frown marking his lips, “Sweet Sina Dad, it’s like you don’t want anyone to ever read your work.”

“Speak for yourself,” Erwin retorts, a hand over his jaw, as one hand held Derek’s report up to the light, slowly realizing that the sun wasn’t making his brother’s writing any more legible. “It’s like reading code, Derek. You write your reports to Shadis like this?” Erwin turns to his brother with an incredulous look, lightly chucking the paper atop the mahogany desk.

“Hey, they asked for a researcher, not a clerk,” Derek retorts, throwing a hand up.

It was almost like a ritual for the Smith brothers to pour over the leather journals of Jonathan Smith whenever they have their intelligence meetings. It was a nice way to revisit and review whatever their father theorized in conjunction to what new information they’ve got.

The journals’ old leather smell also reminded them of their father, and that was always a comfort—like an intangible slice of their childhood.

Derek straightens up and breathes out, “Alright, give me that Erwin, I’ll just fucking tell you like the baby you are.” He swipes the report from the desk. “Sheesh, I’m like mom reading you The Secret Garden again,” the older brother mutters.

Erwin made face. “At least I don’t write like a cryptid, asswipe.”

“iM eRwIn AnD I nEeD mY BiG BroThEr tO rEaD tO mE.”

“I’m going to break your face.

“Try.”

“You sure? Because I just might, and we both know mom’s going to take my side.”

The two brothers stared each other down. Seething cobalt blue meeting challenging cool blue ones. It was an undeniable fact—Erwin was their mom’s favorite, her baby.

Derek nodded slowly in understanding; his jaw locked, arms crossed over his chest.

“Okay Erwin, low blow. But I’ll give you that.”  Derek, still locking eyes with his brother, started shuffling the papers, and flipping to the page he needs.

Erwin just gave a smug quirk of his eyebrows.

Derek cleared his throat. “Shadis managed to scrounge up enough funding to finance an expedition next month.”

“About time.”

“Tell me about it. It’s not much, but clearly enough for Shadis to make a gamble. It seems like this one’s highly classified– a job for just us Intelligence, because we’ll be attempting to set up base outside the Walls.”

That certainly interested Erwin. It was no secret that Commander Shadis’ lobby for continued (much less increased) funding for the Scouting Legion is an ongoing uphill battle. The House of Lords is simply too uninterested in patronizing a losing war, when there are people without food, homes, and healthcare to prioritize…or so they say.

And so this sudden decision to undertake such an ambitious mission when the Legion can’t even seem to return with less than a fifty-percent mortality rate, and with barely enough funding to boot, would only mean one thing;

“There have been developments to the situation. Shadis is no gambling man, he wouldn’t risk his best and brightest on a whim,” says Erwin, his eyes so wide and so clear, they almost had a sparkle to them.

Derek had a similar expression on his face, but paired with an impish grin. “Exactly. And Ilse Langar and I have been ordered by the horse’s mouth to ‘record any suspected anomalies within titan territory.’ ”

Erwin’s jaw nearly dropped. “You’re looking for something.”

“But we don’t know what that is,” Derek replied.

Erwin, ever the curious one, took a step closer to his brother, almost like a child begging his parents for the surprise. “But you’ve got an idea, don’t you?”

Derek’s cheeky grin flashed back on, “…Maybe.”

Erwin rolled his eyes. He then hastily gestures for his brother to take a seat, as he took one himself, all too eager to hear the conspiracy.

“Beginning of last year, I have a source from the Garrison tell me rumors of dear old Shadis finding a man wandering from outside the Walls,” Derek began. “Apparently, he seemed like he knew nothing of our society. Like he was a foreigner. I reported this to Shadis during a meeting, and guess what? The man was almost uninterested. Far too eager to shrug the rumors off as bullshit. And now a year later, he’s kick starting a highly-sensitive mission to set up research bases outside the Walls?”

Derek leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed. “You won’t get any smoke without a fire. These rumors came from somewhere. That possibility alone is worth investigating. And if it were true?” The scout tightened his hold on his arms, his biceps flexing. “It would be an astonishing turn of events.”

Erwin had his hands cupping his jaw. A thumb caressing his chin in deep thought, as his eyebrows furrowed together. His clear blue eyes were bright and sharply focused on a random point in the room, as the many kegs in his mind started turning.

A man wondering from outside the Walls. Clueless of their societal structure.

“You think the commander is hiding something?”

Derek breathed out, releasing his arms. “I think the commander knows something. Shadis’ heart is true; he wouldn’t keep information like this from his officers if it meant serving humanity’s best interests.”

And to that end, Erwin agreed. He would do the same if only to get to the truth. Surely, a man lying to pursue his true intentions is not unheard of. In fact, the Smith brothers are doing just that—committing treason for the purpose of realizing their father’s dream. Almost as if he was reading his brother’s mind, Derek clear his throat and declares, “We’ll know the truth soon enough. I’ll make sure of it. I’m leaving in two weeks, and I’ll be on the lookout for any leads while I’m stationed at base. I’ll rendezvous with you once I’m back.”

At that, Erwin turns to Derek immediately.  “How long are you staying there?”

Derek pursed his lips. “Indefinitely.”

A pregnant pause overcame the brothers. Indefinitely, or until the base gets overrun by Titans.

And as if Derek was reading his brother’s mind, he shrugged, “Occupational hazard.”

The younger brother nodded in understanding. Erwin knew. “What am I going to tell mom?”

Erwin did not dare let any emotion pass over his face as he watched his older brother’s shoulders droop just that little bit. While Erwin may be their mother’s favorite, but Derek was the more emotional of the two—much like his father. Derek Smith, brilliant as his mind may be, still operated with his heart in consideration. And choosing to potentially let their mother grieve over a son was a truly heavy burden to bear. More so with the memories of their mother weeping inconsolably for days after she lost the love of her life, playing at the back of his head.

Erwin was probably too young for their mother’s grief to have an impression on him; especially since their mother particularly protected Erwin from ever seeing her in hysterics because of the guilt poor little Erwin was nursing. But Derek? Derek witnessed his mother at the lowest point of her life—sobbing alone in her marriage bed, her dead husband’s coat wrapped around her, her nose buried in their father’s pillow.

And their mother—like Erwin—was not a woman who would easily let herself go to emotions. So seeing her in that state was its own kind of trauma for Derek

Derek stood up, already getting misty eyed at the memories whirring in his head. He starts fussing over organizing and straightening all the books, journals, and papers scattered across the table. “The usual, Erwin. ‘Derek is off at another mission. He’ll visit as soon as he can.’ ” His voice was pert.

“And Adeline?”

Derek stopped. He faced Erwin, his mouth a thin line. His cobalt eyes serious and intense.

“Make sure Adeline gets my Wings.” The Scout’s finger absent-mindedly caressed the proud Wing of Freedom at his chest. “That’s all a man like me can give her.”

Wings are all a man like me can ever give an angel like her, Derek muses in his thoughts.

While Erwin doesn’t completely approve of Derek’s attachment to Adeline, without hesitation, he clamped his brother’s shoulder in a tight grip. As if saying, ‘You have my word, brother.’

Derek breathed out a small sigh of relief, also giving a firm pat at Erwin’s hand on his shoulder. Derek turned back to the books and papers he was aligning and tidying up earlier, telling Erwin about how he probably won’t be around for their father’s death anniversary because of his rigorous training in the upcoming weeks for the mission.

“…Although I’ll make sure to visit mom at Wall Rose before I leave, don’t worry—“

An envelope slips out of one of the journals Derek was straightening. Immediately, Erwin reaches out, almost lunging at Derek, “Don’t touch that–!”

But it was too late.

Derek had already pulled the letter out of reach. Already opened the still unsealed flap, and flicked open what is obviously a love letter. Derek wordlessly held a hand out, effectively keeping Erwin a distance away. Derek’s body was turned away from Erwin, as he read what his little brother wrote:

My Darling Marie,

How do you do it?

I would like to think that I am a strong man. I’m a soldier trained in combat. And Sina knows, I can kick a grown man to his knees. Perhaps even slay a whole Titan.

But you, my lovely, you weaken me so.

You soften my heart so much that, while most men my age dream of glory and fortune, I only dream of a dance with you.

To hold your delicate hand and kiss it, to hold you close to my chest so I could gaze into your eyes; eyes so bright, they put the very stars to shame!

So? How do you do it, sweet Marie?

What power do you wield over me that I can’t—nor want—to shake off?

Forever Yours,

Nile

Erwin watched in horror as his older brother’s face went from curious, to intrigued, to absolutely gleeful.

Slowly and comically, Derek lifted his head to look at is brother; A funny look on his face.

Erwin prayed to the Goddesses he wasn’t blushing.

Oh, but Erwin was blushing.

“Who’s Marie?”

Erwin snatches the letter away, not looking Derek in the eye.

“No one.”

“No one?”

Derek was still grinning cheekily though, as if he just learned a most salacious secret. Erwin sighed. “Nile’s courting her.”

Derek’s not buying it. “Yeah? Then why’s his love letters for her with you?”

“Because.” Erwin snapped, already itching to change the subject. “The bastard promised me Ragako in exchange for wooing her with love letters for him.”

Derek quirked a thick eyebrow, clearly seeing through his younger brother’s bullshit. Sometimes Derek forgets that Erwin was still a young man– still clammy over the thought of falling in love with a woman; over wanting a woman for more than what she can offer with her clothes off.

“No man is going to waste his time writing the kinds of words you wrote for a woman he isn’t interested in.”

Erwin had heard enough. He slips Marie’s letter back into one of his father’s leather-bound journals, and quipped back, “Just like how you entertain that woman’s affections as if you can’t die in the next week? As if she isn’t promised to another man? It’s selfish, Derek.”

And although it was never said, Erwin’s frigidity and the muscle jumping from his tightened jaw told Derek exactly what the younger Smith thought—the whole affair would compromise their goal. Their father’s goal.

Derek must remain focused, or else…

And the very thought of any man, even his own brother, gatekeeping his rarest of earthly joys away, infuriated Derek.

How dare he?

How dare anyone?

Not very many people towered over Erwin Smith, but Derek Smith was one of them. And at that very moment, the Scout is perfectly fine with reminding his foolish brother of the fact.

“I’m not about to deprive myself of love and happiness just because I’m a Scout, Erwin. I’m a man. Not a martyr. That woman? That woman keeps me alive. That woman keeps me fighting. Keeps me sane.”

The two men were like a pair of lions prowling each other.

Derek continued, still seething, “With that woman, I’m just Derek. Not Sergeant Smith, not even Derek Smith. Just Derek. Derek and Adeline.”

Much like a mirror image of his own passion and intensity, Erwin took a stand against the unwavering glint in his older brother’s eye. Erwin has seen that very expression on his own face. An expression which said that absolutely nothing could change his mind.

Still, Erwin gambled.

“What about hurting her? You can’t give this poor woman any assurance nor security, Derek! Or is that an occupational hazard too?”

“That’s life.”

~

Derek had just swung up on his steed, ready to gallop out of the Training Corps compound, and back to report in Scouting Legion HQ. Meanwhile, Erwin wordlessly pulled and tugged on Derek’s straps to ensure his brother’s saddle was secure.

It was then that Adeline rushed out from the servants’ steps and into the stables to give her lover a jug of water, as well as the bread and cheese she packed. The two men have been holed up in the Archives Office the entire afternoon, as evidenced by the orange streaks of the already setting sun. The trip back wasn’t very long, but it was just Adeline’s nature to ensure that Derek had more than enough food to fuel him along the way. ‘Besides,’ Adeline thinks, ‘A man that large must need as much food as he can.’

Next to Derek’s great steed, Adeline looked terribly miniscule. Like the afternoon winds could blow her away any moment. Still, after accepting her packed knapsack, Derek reached a large hand down to cup his beloved’s cheek, the purple of her eyes especially accentuated by the fading sun.

‘She really is a sight to behold,’ Derek thinks. He was quiet for a moment, just letting his thumb caress her soft cheek. Drinking her all in, memorizing every detail, as if he would never see her beauty again.

“Take care of yourself, mignonette,” Derek says tenderly.

Adeline smiled in amusement. “Says you.” She kisses the inside of Derek’s palm, and beams up at him, “Come back to me, my love.”

Derek winked. “Always.”

Derek straightened up and pulled on his horse’s reins to settle the beast, then looked down to his brother’s still morose face. He motions to the letter hidden in the journals held by Erwin, and says in goodbye,

“Allow yourself to be happy, brother.”

Then off Derek Smith rode. Dust, dirt, and gravel trailing his horse’s hooves.

The Wings of Freedom fluttering proudly against his back.

~

Erwin and Adeline took a moment to stand by and watch the Scout ride away.

That is, when Adeline’s soft voice broke the silence, “Love doesn’t make him any less of a soldier, Erwin.”

Erwin looked to the small blonde with the delicate curls beside him.

Adeline looked back, purple eyes firm and genuine. “Nor does it make him any less of a son.”

She paused. Doe-like eyes fluttering down for a moment.

“And it’s the same for you.”

It was then that Adeline was struck by how much Erwin resembled her lover. They had the same fire within the depths of their blue eyes. The same brilliant mind beneath their heads of blonde hair. The same imposing build and stature…

The same pride and dignity in their stance.

And yet, the two were so much more different.

Derek was full of tenderness, warmth and joie de vivre, while Erwin… seemed very far away. Like he could never look around him. Just straight ahead. Eyes fixed to the horizon.

But it was that fixation, Adeline knew, which would keep this man alive.

“I’m ending my engagement. I’m choosing your brother, Erwin.” The petite blonde swallowed back a lump in her throat. “No father, nor nobleman can change the course of true love, and—“

Adeline bit her lip. “He’s just so reckless!” she grits out in frustration.

“So please. Convince him to stay, Erwin. Here. With me.” The girl blinked back tears, as she gazed back to the minimizing form of her beloved. “I want to keep him alive. Keep him fighting.”

Keep him alive. Keep him fighting

‘That woman keeps me alive. That woman keeps me fighting.’

It was almost cute to Erwin how the two lovers just repeated each other’s thoughts and words, albeit unknowingly. And so Erwin thought it only fair to repeat to this girl– this woman– who would clearly give up anything for his brother, Derek’s very sentiments.

Erwin reached an arm to wrap around Adeline’s shoulder, and patted her saying, “You’re already keeping him alive and fighting, Adeline”

Eyes still gazing out, the glint of the setting afternoon sun against Derek’s fair head was the last of what Adeline glimpsed of her bold lover.

~

Business was thriving at the Territory that Friday night. Its usual evening assortment of clientele filling up the place with the stench of booze and cigarettes, with guffaws of laughter. All the more made merry by fiddlers the establishment hired to strike up a jig for the patrons. And so besides the usual hullaballoo of the place, drunk men were also prancing around now.

Marie meanwhile, was left breathless. The barmaid grinned merrily as Nile pulled her back up to his chest from their dip. Nile seemed to have the full intention of monopolizing Marie tonight, seeing as they have been dancing and jigging around the bar’s makeshift dancefloor—a cleared floor space, really—since Marie clocked out for her break. Nile promptly bought her a drink, and asked her (albeit drunkenly, seeing as he wouldn’t be able to do so otherwise) for a dance.

Marie was caught up in a fantasy—one where she was a duchess in a glittering ballroom in Mitras, spinning around in a silk dress in the arms of a prince, dancing like they were made of starlight. Like this dingy little bar in the middle of Wall Maria was holy ground.

Although, Marie would never dare admit just who exactly she envisioned to be her prince. Marie rolled her eyes at the thought, ‘she really should just enjoy the dance, and this funny man tossing her around.’

“I’m afraid my dance card’s full, soldier,” Marie teased flirtatiously. Her cheeks were already glowing red, eyes twinkling in mirth from the exertion.

Nile didn’t dare take his hands off Marie’s waist, and most certainly never let his eyes glance away from the ginger’s lovely visage. He grinned delightfully, and pulled the girl even closer, “That so? I reckon you can still squeeze me in for the last twenty minutes of your break, yeah?”

Nile was absolutely over the moon. When Marie started laughing– a tad bit tipsy herself—Nile didn’t even let her finish replying, he heard the lilt of a new dance starting, and immediately twirled the smiling girl towards him. Marie gave a high girlish squeal, and let the soldier sweep her away.

~

Perched by the bar, sat a man whose broad shoulders hunched beneath the influence of whiskey in his system. He took a drag of his cigarette, almost grunting out the smoke, as his blue eyes followed his best friend and the barmaid twirling around the dancefloor. Erwin’s thick eyebrows drew together, grimacing, ‘the bastard actually got her to dance.’

It was certainly rare, but tonight, Erwin is apprehensive. The letter seemed to burn a hole right through his jacket pocket, reminding Erwin of his brother’s final words to him.

Allow yourself to be happy, brother.

So Erwin continued to watch. Knowing full well that this newfound interest Marie had on Nile was thanks to his letters.

His words.

Also knowing full well that he could continue to write this lovely, shining girl in proxy for his friend or…

He could stop. He could stop, and perhaps… this lovely, shining girl could…

Allow yourself to be happy, brother.

Nile gave Marie another dramatic dip, one that had the ginger girl giggling. Nile almost looked silly with glee, as he brought the girl up. And in a moment of what must be drunken ecstasy, Nile kissed Marie’s hand.

Erwin threw back what was left of his whiskey at the sight.

‘Fuck it.’

~

Erwin took one last inhale before putting out his smoke at a nearby ashtray where Marie was already busy wiping down.

Marie felt the blonde man’s presence before she saw him. Could smell the sandalwood before Erwin leaned over into her space. Marie rolled her hazel eyes, although a tiny smile danced around her lips.

Marie refused to look back at this annoying man trying to distract her from work.

“Yeees?”

Erwin playfully presented Marie the letter in between his index and middle fingers, his blue eyes actively looking directly into Marie’s, trying to catch her full attention. Purposefully crowding her, wanting to drown her in all that is him.

“You seemed like you enjoyed your dance.”

Marie finally faced Erwin, a hand moving to rest at her slender waist. She tilted her chin up, trying her best to look as imposing as she can before this tree of man. But not before she registers—definitely not for the first time—just how infuriatingly handsome Erwin Smith is.

“Why? Did you want to join in?”

Marie felt her heart do a little leap and jig at the sight of Erwin’s perfectly cut face falling just that little bit.

Erwin snorted, “With Nile? No thank you, he’s all yours.”

Marie made a show of delicately plucking the letter from between Erwin’s fingertips. She pursed her lips as she read the scrawl at the back of the envelope: For my Marie.

She peeked back up at Erwin. “Hmmm. Seems to me you’re just trying to hide your two left feet.”

“Excuse me?” Erwin cocked an eyebrow, already smiling openly. Marie notes how straight his teeth are.

“I’m an excellent dancer, thank you very much.”

Marie abandons her washcloth, and went up on her tiptoes, getting into Erwin’s face. Something sly and mischievous played around her features.

Erwin could pick up on the alcohol in her breath when she whispered;

“Prove it.”

Glass bottles jingled in their shelves.

The man had brought his large hands down to rest at the liquor shelf behind Marie; effectively caging the girl in his arms.

Marie felt like a rabbit before a wolf. Cornered. Helpless. Frozen.

Felt her heart beating a rapid cadence. Felt her eyes darting between Erwin’s thin, chapped lips, to his hooded blue eyes—darker and deeper beneath the lowlight.

But above all, Marie felt herself wondering if this breathtaking creature would taste like whiskey and cigarettes—like a brooding phantom she could only ever glimpse in dark nights amongst candlelight.

Or perhaps he’d still taste like strawberries? Like sweetness and zest and freedom and hope.

Erwin gently tucked a ginger curl behind Marie’s ear. He caressed her freckled cheek.

Marie was already dizzy from the smell of nicotine off his fingers… or was it something else that was making her dizzy?

Rough pads of fingers pressed against the plumpness of Marie’s lips.

“Then…”

The woman took a deep inhale.

“…Can I have this dance.”

It wasn’t a question. Not when he sounded like that. Like, sin.

In a panic, Marie squeezed her eyes shut; “You’re drunk.”

Erwin blinked. And like a magic spell broken, Erwin releases his hold on the liquor shelf.

Marie’s eyes shot open, as she looked up at a chuckling Erwin. He was already smoothing back the few strands of golden hair that fell onto his eyes.

“I guess I am.”

‘Huh.’ Marie thinks, ‘This odd, odd man. He’s got a knack for immediately switching emotions, alright.’

Erwin must have noticed Marie’s strange look, and jabbed light-heartedly, “You better start working again before Nile notices you ‘aren’t busy’ anymore.”

Nile! Oh god, Marie almost forgot about him! He could’ve seen… whatever that was between her and Erwin.

Marie hastily went back to her washcloth, and started wiping down more glasses. She looked around for any sign of Nile, and found him still drunkenly gloating to Mike about his romp with her.

Although from the looks of it, the man is about a tankard away from completely passing out.

Erwin was already casually lighting another cigarette when,

“Are you a pigeon, Erwin?”

Erwin nearly fucking burned himself from his lighter. He spluttered at the bizarre question.

“Err…no?”

“Then why do you have to keep passing Nile’s letters to me? He’s right there!”

The two looked on to watch Nile finally succumb to sleep. Mike awkwardly patted his already passed-out friend.

Erwin snickered, “I’m afraid that’s why my oaf of a friend calls me his ‘wingman’.”

“Ha!” Marie chuckled out.

~

Marie read her letter immediately after the last of the bar patrons left—which happened to be Erwin. He insisted on keeping her company to ‘keep the wolves away.’ As if he hadn’t just tried cornering her a half hour ago. It was nice though, the conversation was lovely while she was closing up.

And so, when she lay awake in her bed that night, smiling to herself, fingertips on her lips. She wasn’t thinking of Nile when the words of the letter echoed in her head.

A/N:I know. Derek’s an absolute d r e a m b o a t, and I love him too.

Mignonette,’ from my understanding is “delicate” or “darling” in French. I heard that was Prince William’s pet name for Princess Charlotte, and I thought it was adorable.

On Erwin’s family, a discord friend of mine actually gave me the idea that Erwin possibly got his leadership skills and his you-think-this-is-your-idea-but-it-was-all-part-of-erwin’s-fail-safe-plan charm, from his mother. Besides, who doesn’t love a powerful working mom? And the rest went from there! It also made sense to me that a man as curious and as daring as Erwin’s dad would also be a child at heart.

As usual, any questions and feedback are very much welcome!

I also have an AO3!

[cheryyori]

SK8TERBOY - Skaterboy!Yeosang/Soft!Reader Social Media AU ft. side pairing: Seonghwa/OC

Genre: Pure fluff (possible smut has yet to be determined)

A.N. Whoop, new update, not a lot of Yeosang bc Y/N is a bit of a mess rn. Also italics is Japanese. Also a bonus chapter about Seonghwa and Sumire’s date from the last two chapters will be coming soon bc I’m soft for them.

Chapter summary: It was supposed to be a nice evening between roommates/friends until Y/N gets an unknown text from what might be Yeosang and starts freaking out on what to do. Aka Y/N is still up to her usual clownery.

Taglist: @philosopher-of-fandoms @mangobee @mingiibabieee @yourbunny-xxii @angelichris-b97 @yeosatinyngz @kimtae-bae​

(let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

Masterlist.  prev.  next.

Chapter 4. You’re Pretty Cute

Once Y/N returned home, she dropped her bag onto the floor and kicked her shoes off before flopping face down onto the couch. A muffled loud groan left her lips as she recalled her clownery.

“Oh god, she’s finally lost it,” a voice mutters, followed by the sound of a slap to the shoulder. Yusung, Y/N thinks as she recognized the deep voice of his.

“Yusung, don’t be rude!” another says in a harsh whisper. Y/N knew that it was Suzaku who was berating the younger.

“What? It’s not our fault she’s an idiot,” Yusung said. Suzaku smacked his shoulder again, only this time harder than the last one, “Ouch, will you stop that, you bastard!”

“You know that said idiot can hear you, right?” Another chipped in. Junho had been sitting on the other couch, adjacent to the one Y/N flopped onto while scrolling on his phone for anything remotely interesting.

“I have such great friends,” Y/N huffs as she looked up to see the three boys. She could see Yusung stand tall (the bastard being the tallest out of all of them and using his height to make many short jokes at both her and Sumire’s expenses) besides Suzaku who had a concerned look on his face.

“Again, not our fault that you’re an idiot sometimes,” Yusung said once again. Suzaku elbowed him but used one hand to cover the small smile on his lips.

“This is bullying! I will not stand for such slander!” Y/N cried as she sat up, a pout on her lips as she glared at the boys. Junho remained unfazed by the whole exchange, ignoring his group of friends as usual. Yusung, on the other hand, stuck his tongue out at Y/N.

“You two are being loud, shut up!” A female groaned. Emerging from the kitchen, Sumire had a tired looked on her face. Her hair a mess as she walked into the living room, apparently she had been sleeping before the commotion.

“Sumi!” Y/N whined, “They’re bullying me again!” She said as she pointed to the boys, standing up as she went to Sumire’s arms. Sumire only sighed and placed a small pat on Y/N’s back in a weak attempt to comfort her.

“Sumi, you can’t blame us for Y/N’s own clownery!” Y/N heard the soft snort that escaped from Sumire’s lips and pulled away, staring at her in betrayal.

“Sorry,” there a small smile on her lips, “but it was kinda funny to read the whole thing,” Sumire explains. Y/N groaned as rest her head on her shoulder, wanting nothing more than to forget this moment.

“Don’t remind me,” Y/N whined, “I was so excited to see him again and thinking about what nonsense you three idiots were spamming in the chat that I totally spaced out and forgot to ask for his number!”

“Disappointed, but not surprised,” Junho mutters to himself but Y/N’s ears perked up at his words.

“Nam Junho! You are rude!” Y/N fumed. Junho merely shrugged and continued scrolling through his phone. Sumire sighed and decided that since she was up now, she might as well get started on dinner.

“I’m going to make dinner now, feel free to join me if you’re bored─no, not you Yusung!” She gave Yusung a pointed look as he started heading towards the kitchen, “Don’t think you’re still off the hook from the rice cooker incident last night.”

“Oh my god, it was an accident, how was supposed to know you plug the damn thing in?”

“How do you burn rice without having it plugged in?” She replied, raising a brow at him. Yusung opened his mouth before promptly closing it, not wanting to be judged more than he already was by his best/childhood friend.

“Fine. I’ll go play with Iroha, at least she’ll appreciate me!” He grumbled as he stalked over to the small ragamuffin kitten that was settled in the corner. “Iroha-chan! Come play with uncle Sungie!” He cooed as he picked up the small kitten and the toy that had caught her attention.

"I think I’m gonna be in my room for a bit,” Y/N said, “Today was quite eventful,” she mutters as she slowly dragged her feet to her room. Sumire almost felt bad for her friend. Almost, if she didn’t recall the texts she had with Seonghwa earlier. It will only be a matter of time when Yeosang will text Y/N.

“Alright, I’ll call you when dinner’s ready,” Y/N nodded and went inside her room, flopping onto her bed. Y/N closed her eyes, her mind constantly replaying her time with Yeosang and felt her cheeks heat up. Her heart suddenly picked up as she thought about him in general and let her thoughts wonder if he was dating anyone. Would he want to date her-

“AH! Y/N stop thinking like that!” She shrieked as she smacked her warm cheeks lightly again. “You don’t even know him! And you didn’t get his number! Maybe this is a sign that you’re going to be forever alone,” she scolded herself before letting out a dejected sigh.

It was then that her phone went off, Y/N figured that it might have been either one of the boys or Sumire and glanced over at the message before she let out a scream when she saw who texted her.

Meanwhile, in the living room/kitchen, everyone was doing their own thing to pass the time before dinner was ready when they heard Y/N’s voice coming from her room.

“What the fuck is going on?” Junho was the first to ask as he looked up from his phone. 

“So it’s begun,” Sumire muttered to herself as she ignored Y/N’s scream and continued to cook. Suddenly Y/N rushed out of her room and into the kitchen, her phone in hand as she held it out towards Sumire.

“H-he─” Y/N couldn’t even make the first words out as she slowly started talking nonsense. This ruckus caused all the boys to walk into the kitchen (surprisingly Yusung wasn’t kicked out this time) to figure out what the hell was going on with their roommate.

“What the hell is going on with you?” Yusung asked, carrying Iroha in his arms. The ragamuffin kitten was oblivious to what was happening around her as she started to paw at his fingers.

“I-I, he─!” Y/N continued to babble before Sumire shuts off the stove and went over to take her phone.

“Oh,” she says, “He texted her.”

“Who did?” Suzaku asked, going over to Sumire’s side as he peered over her right shoulder while Junho peered over her left side.

“Her skaterboy friend,” Sumire replied.

“I thought you said you two didn’t exchange numbers,” Junho asked with a raised brow.

“W-we didn’t,” Y/N said.

“Then how the hell did he get you number?” Junho continued, skeptical of the idea that this was really her skaterboy crush who was texting her.

“U-uh, I don’t know,” Y/N mutters.

“Hey, here’s a crazy idea,” Sumire started, “Why don’t you, you know, ask him,” she suggested, handing her phone back.

“B-but that’s scary,” Y/N mutters, thinking what if it some stranger or worse. It actually was Yeosang, how the heck was she going to text him?

“Can’t you do it for me, Sumi?” Y/N asked, batting her eyes at her wife.

“No,” Sumire replies, “besides, it’s not that hard it’s just a text, you can text him. Also take a deep breath before you do, you look like you’re going to pass out,” she told Y/N, who was looking rather pale at the moment.

“I think Y/N rather die than do that,” Yusung snorted.

“Shut up, Yusung, don’t make me hit you,” Sumire glares at her childhood friend, eyes narrowing at him.

“As if you can reach me,” The boy mutters. At this, Sumire kicked the back of his knees, causing him to fall onto them.

“Ah, thank you for continuing to brighten my day, Sumire,” Junho smiled brightly at the sight.

“Dammit, Junho, you bastard!” Yusung grumbles as he sets Iroha safely on the ground and rubs the back of his knees.

“Anyways,” Sumire continued, glancing back at Y/N, “Just text him, trust me, it’s not that hard.”

“O-okay,” Y/N said as she took a deep breath. Just a text, she told herself before going replying to the unknown number might or might not be Yeosang.

“Oh my fucking god, Y/N,” Yusung muttered over her shoulder, apparently reading the text she just sent to Yeosang.

“S-shut up, Yusuck!” Y/N exclaimed with a red face before reading Yeosang’s reply, turning away from them all.

“So? Did he say how he got your number?” Suzaku asked curiously.

“He said that his roommate Seonghwa gave it to him,” Y/N replied, causing the boys to have a surprised look.

“Seonghwa? Like Sumi’s Seonghwa, Seonghwa?” Yusung asked. At this Sumire went back to cooking dinner, missing the suspicious look Junho cast her way before turning back to the conversation at hand.

“Yeah, I guess I must have given Seonghwa my number and he passed it along to Yeosang when heard about our situation,” Y/N concluded, earning a quiet snort from Sumire.

“Huh, that’s kinda anti-climatic, I thought skaterboy started typing in random numbers until he got your number right,” Yusung pouted before cooing at a mewing Iroha. Junho gave Sumire another glance and hummed to himself.

“Well, at least you have a way to get in contact with him,” Suzaku said, “And the fact that he texted you first means he likes you!”

“Oh my god, Suzaku, I barely know him!” Y/N sighed.

“But you think he’s cute, right?” He pressed. Y/N bit her lower lip because yes, she did think he was cute. And she hates how these little heathens knew that she thought he was cute.

“I mean yeah but─”

“Then why not ask him out?” Yusung chimed in, leaning forwards slightly, “I mean let’s be honest, we’re all sick of you complaining to us about wanting to go on cute dates whenever Sumi leaves the apartment to meet Seonghwa.”

“I-I─” Y/N’s cheeks were tinted pink as she gawked at Yusung, “I-I do not complain! I just think that going out with someone would be nice,” she pouted.

“Ah, you’re complaining again!”

“Shut up, Yusuck!” Y/N snapped before turning her attention back to her phone.

“CHO YUSUNG!” Y/N shrieked as Yusung stole her phone from her hands and replied to Yeosang. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the text he sent before she started hitting his chest with a red face.

“Ouch, ouch! Dammit, woman! You should be thanking me, I just secured you your future boyfriend!” Yusung whined as he grabbed her arms to stop her from hitting him anymore. Y/N will not be thanking him if anything she felt mortified.

“More like secured your own death,” Sumire comments.

“I AM GOING TO KICK YOU IN THE SHIN, CHO YUSUNG!”

“As much I would love to see that,” Junho drawled out, “I think your skaterboy called you cute as well,” he said as he swiped her phone out of Yusung’s hand and read the newest text.

“WHAT?!” Y/N took her phone back and stared at the screen, feeling oddly giddy as she read the text.

“Oh god, you’re already sending him cute love memes? You’re so whipped for him,” Yusung teased, beside him was a snickering Suzaku.

“Shut up, Yusuck! It was an accident! And Suzaku! How could you betray me like this!”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s kinda cute though,” Suzaku cooed, “This is the best and cutest entertainment since Seonghwa paced around the living room and asked for our permission to try to ask Sumi-chan on a date last week.”

“Anyways, dinner’s ready,” Sumire says, clearing her throat when her name was mentioned and placed five plates on the table they were all gathered around. The three immediately quiet down as everyone took their seats to enjoy dinner, a few teasing remarks from both Suzaku and Yusung as they poked fun at Y/N and her crush on Yeosang ( “It’s not a crush, you two!” “Aw, look at how red her cheeks are!” “Aw, how cute!” )

After dinner, they all went into their room to retire for the night. 

[themarcusmoreno]

unsteady

an: this doesn’t have a read more bc i don’t know how to do them tbh AND i’m posting from mobile. any errors present are yet again my own. i tried to give my dumbass, baby boy javier what i took away in timing is everything. i suggest listening to this version of the song that inspired the title and i hope that you guys enjoy it, i’m proud of this one. i left this with a possiblity for more, if that’s something you’d like to see let me know! feedback is welcome! //// tagging: @spacedadheadcanons, @bonkybaaarnes, @callingmrsbarnes, @buckywiththegoodglare, @drakecaggiula91, @thatsonehellofajedi, @mando-vibes, @i-like-those-odds, @i-am-forever-a-fan, @fvckingavengers, @ikeatwins776

You found becoming a DEA agent to be an easy task, falling into the training and field work like they were second nature. You made a name for yourself, eager to the fight and quick to solve the issues presented to you. So, when the opportunity came for you to take an open post in Colombia, in Bogotá, you took it. Transportig your life to the new country seemed easy enough but finding your place amongst the senior agents proved troublesome, especially when Javier Peña seemed to be involved. You'd been placed with him and his partner, Steve Murphy. Where Steve had warmed up to you quickly, Javier stayed distant and cold. Every bit the asshole you had been warned he would be.

Over the coming months, you saw small breaks in the persona the man presented. Whether it was when you joined he and Steve for drinks after a particularly rough day or at the "family dinners" that Connie held once a week. You, even in the briefest of moments, got to see a different side of him. One that showed the crinkle of his face as he laughed at one of the jokes Steve shared, the warmth of his smile as he watched Connie with the Murphy’s little girl and even the lingering glance he'd give you as you told stories about your early days as an agent. A smirk played on his lips every time he saw you home safely and bid you goodnight.

"You know if you keep this up I may think you actually like me or something, Peña." A smile spreads across you face as you lean against the doorway of your apartment.

"Now what would give you that idea?" Javier has a smile of his own as watches you, arms crossed over his chest and head tilted upward ever so slighty.

You chuckle and roll your eyes, turning to disappear into your quiet home. "Goodnight, Javier."

A brief wave of somethig like sadness fills his chest as he watces you turn away, his arm aching to reach out and grasp yours but instead he is met with the soft click of your door. "Yeah.. goodnight, cariña." He mumbles, sighing and rubbing his jaw before he backs away to head to his own place just a floor below.

In the coming weeks, you saw more of that change in Javier. Once in him lingering near the entrance of the office long after finishing his cigarette, fresh cup of coffee in hand for the both of you. You hid the soft smile that crept on to your face at the gesture behind your cup, walking along with him as he explaied yet another lead in the hunt for Escobar. You saw it again in him seeking you out after another raid had failed and your team had lost four men. You'd be alone, gathering your own thoughts when the knocking at the door had pulled you from your silence. Wiping your face quickly, you opened the door to him standing there looking no better than you felt. His jaw clenched and eyes tired as he took your appearance in slowly.

"Mind if I come in?" The softness of his request betraying the way his features held such frustration. You gave a slight nod and made your way back to the chair you'd previously occupied. When he speaks again there's something in his tone you can't quite place, concern maybe. "I couldn't find you when we got back. You disappeared and nobody saw where you went. I thought you'd left. I needed - wanted to make sure you were okay."

You were silent a few seconds before you brought your gaze to his, fresh tears threatening to spill. "Would you be? I lost men, Jav. I lost four good men because of a fucking raid I planned." There's a bite to your words, not at the man in front you but at the pain in knowing you'd cost someone their life for something you believed in, something you trusted. A wave of nausea brought you to your feet, the emotions overwhelming. You let the tears fall, not noticing the gentle pressure of Javier's hand on your arm as he pulled you close. You didn't fight him, instead you turned into him and gave yourself over to the sobs that racked your body.

"Easy, cariña. Easy." Javier rubbed the small of your back, holding you close and letting you cry. His heart broke for the pain you felt and the thought of the guilt you carried. "What happen.. What happen today, it wasn't your fault. The best laid plans fall apart every fucking day and I know that better than anyone else. So does Steve. But this, this raid and what happen to those men wasn't your fault. You want someone to blame, you blame me. Not yourself, me. Understand?"

You listened to him, your tears slowing as spoke to you. Firm but gentle. When you did't respond he said your name softly, repeating his question. "Blame me, no one else. Understand?" He gave you gentle squeeze, words slightly muffled by your hair as he rested his chin against you.*You nodded slowly, pulling away from his tear strained shirt, and answering. "I understand but - "

"No buts. You did your job well today and thats what matters for now. Losing men is never easy but we recover, come back harder the next time and you can bet we will. Harder and faster than this time. We'll avenge the fallen and take that bastard Escobar down a peg or two when we do." Javier looks over your face, absentmindedly reaching to brush a stray tear from your cheek. He lets his hand linger before he shakes his head a little and steps back. "You should take the day. I'll get your reports done. Just go home and rest, yeah?"

You don't stop him as he pulls away, don't reach out fo him the way you want, instead you nod slowly and wrap your arms around yourself to savor the bit of his warmth left. "Are you sure, Jav?"

"Positive, miel. Go home, rest and I'll check on you when I get done here." He gives you a soft smile, not hesitating to reach out and brush your hair from your face. "Maybe I'll bring food too."

"Nothing you cook though because I want to survive the night." You smirk, laughing at his look of shock. "Sorry, you're a great agent but a shit cook." When he grumbles a response, you just shake your head and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Jav." You squeeze his arm and smile, glancing back at him before you step out into the hallway.

He feels it then, the unsteady beating of his heart as he watches you leave. The feel of your lips still on his cheek and your scent lingering on his shirt, he knows what it is but he won't say it, at least not aloud. He just sighs, "Shit..."

The month that follows is different, you can't place it but something is different between you and Javier. He's more attentive, checks in on you more frequently. Lingering touches, soft smiles and few too many quiet moments shared for you to keep ignoring whatever may be there growing between the two of you. You don't get to bring it up to him, address the elephant in the room, before another wave of information comes in. Leads you needed to help the raid you, Javier and Steve were planning. Though leery to go out again, your partners encouragement had you eager to finally put a dent in the armor Pablo Escobar thought he wore.

"We've get every possibly scenario covered. Too many guards, too few guards. Nothing in the lab, something in the lab. Civilians present, no civilians present. I'm not saying it's perfect but its about the best damn plan we've had in a while." Steve looks up from the map to the small gathering of men, including you.

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful. Expect the unexpected, I don't want another repeat of last time." Your arms cross over your chest as you look at everything spread across the table. “Everyone gets a vest, everyone has a partner. You watch each others back. We work quickly, we get home faster."

"Well you heard her. Date prisa, go get the gear and be out front in ten." Javier gives your arm a firm squeeze and winks before he joins the other men leaving the room.

You feel his gaze on you before you speak, sighing as you look at Steve. “What Murph?"

"You gonna tell him?" Steve quirks an eyebrow as he pops his gum and rocks on his heels.

Your breath catches and you brush it off as a cough as you start to speak again. "I don't know what you mean. There's nothing to tell anyone."

Steve scoffs, shaking his head as he gathers things from the table. "Uh huh. You keep telling yourelf that, darlin.” He smiles and squeezes your shoulder, "If it helps, he feels the same way. I've been that asshole's partner long enough to know when he's fallen for someone and that someone happens to be you." He heads towards the door, glancing back once more. "Just... Just don't wait too long to tell him. With our job, we aren't always promised tomorrow. But I told him the same thing and so far no one has made a move.”

You hesitate in the now quiet room and let Steve's words sink. Whatever you felt, Javier felt it too. You wouldn't wait past today, you'd tell him as soon as you could. "I'll tell him tonight." With vocal confirmation, you nodded to yourself and went out to join your men.

Javier had been right that day in the office as he held you close, the best laid plans really do fall apart and its usually in the worst of ways. There had been an ambush waiting, a leak from your own department tipping the guards off. You were all outnumbered before you even got there, but when you did you gave them hell. Losing two of your own men as they worked to stop the assault. When the man you'd paired yourself with was taken down, you felt the fear of not making it set in. It make you hyper aware, but not enough. Javier had covered your six after your partner went down, keeping an eye on Steve as well. That's how he saw him, lurking just out of your peripheral vision and coming up fast. The solid body crashing into you was enough to distract you from the shots but when the body didn't hurriedly move, you knew something was wrong. You shifted enough and the body of your protector landed beside you, causing him to groan lowly. You could see the blood pooling slowly, panic rising as your eyes traveled up to his face. Javier.

"Steve, fuck! Steve, get some medic here. Javi is shot, he's bleeding out!" You look around for Steve, locking eyes with him as he brings his walkie to his mouth.

"Necesito abulancia. Oficial de policía abajo." He listens to the feedback and curses. "Goddamnit! They're ten minutes out, he got that long?"

You survey the area of the pooling blood, grimacing at the pained sound Javier produces. "Maybe.. I can't be sure. He took a couple rounds, looks like they went through but its not good. It doesn't look good, Murph." You feel the familar burn of tears as they start to form. Steve's voice fading away as you look down to the soft call of your name. "Jav? Take it easy for me, okay? Try not to move."

Javier blinks softly, the vision of you him above edged in darkness. "Mi sol.." He winces, grasping at your hand as you press it against the wounds. "Oh mi sol, I'm sorry."

His sun. You blink back tears as you look him, cupping his face carefully with your free hand. "Javier, why? Why would you do this?" You don't hold back, letting the tears fall freely. The sound of the ambulance outside not pulling you from the moment. "Javi, why? I don't - I can't lose you now."

Javier smiles, its weak and fading but he smiles as he squeezes you hand and starts to lose consciousness. "This.. This is about keeping you alive." When he starts to drift off, he hears hurried spanish and your cries.

A week. Javier Peña lays in a drug induced coma for a week before he starts to become aware again. Its slow at first, a groan that has you gathering a nurse then a few mumbled curses as starts to fully wake up. You watch him drink slowly from the cup of offered water. Closing his eyes again before he slowly opens them once more to scan the room, you hear his breath catching softly as he looks at you. You don't hear the nurse leave, you don't feel yourself move until your close to his side and his hand is in yours. The warm, tan skin familiar and welcome in your grasp.

You get choked up as you start to speak, the reassuring squeeze of his hand in yours bring the words forward. "I.. I thought I lost you."

Javier's voice comes out soft, raspy from lack of use. "Can't kill me if they wanted to, miel. I'm too fucking stubborn to die." He laughs and grimaces, shifting in the bed for you to have room to sit.

You reach up, rubbing his cheek gently once you finally join him. "Well you at least got the stubborn part right." You tease, wiping your eyes as you look at him. Stubble lines his jaw and chin, his hair unkempt and you know he's never looked better. Never looked more alive.

"What's on your mind?" He questions, running his thumb over your knuckles as he watches your eyes shift over him.

"Do you remember what you said? Before you blacked out?" You work your lip between your teeth before he slowly reaches up and pulls it free.

"Si." He cups your cheek, no hesitation in his movements. "Por qué?"

"What did you mean? 'This is about keeping you alive.' What does that mean?" You lean into his hand, savoring the feel of him against your skin.

Javier shifts, taking his hand from your face and wincing he sits up more. When he's finally up and stable, he leans in presses a soft kiss to your lips. Sighing against your mouth as you return his affection, he breaks the kiss and rest your foreheads together. "It means that I can't picture my life without you in it and I don't want to. I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you that, to tell you I love you."

You smile, matching his own as you kiss him again. "Glad to know it takes almost dying to get you to confess your feelings." You joke, closing your eyes and basking in the moment with Javier. "I love you too and I'm not going anywhere."