#you're such a kind and encouraging person

[nkjemisin]

Hey there. I'm writing a story set in New York City and am not American. I have few characters, but most of them are arab or white. I can't help but feel a bit wrong about it, given that America is much more diverse than that, and NYC being an emblem of that. Do you think I should force myself to include more representation or should I just tell my story, and leave that more diverse cast to some other story I could write? I know this is a neverending debate and there are many opinions about it, but I've always agreed with everything you've said in matters of representation in fiction, and so I'd be curious to know your personal answer on it.

I'm a little confused by how you're using "representation," here. It sounds like you think representation = "randomly sticking BIPOC everywhere." I think when most people use that word, it means something more like "create an accurate or at least plausible depiction of a group or place." In actual New York, there are plenty of Middle Easterners and white people who live in relatively homogeneous small communities where they might only see someone of a different ethnicity on the subway. If your story is set in one of those communities -- and you do stick some random BIPOC in that subway scene, because that's plausible -- then it sounds like your characters might be an example of good representation.

(Note: if you're not writing something set in the real world, but it features human beings, it needs to represent humanity as a whole, unless there's a good in-world reason not to. But if it's our world? You can get specific.)

Here's the catch, tho: plausibility is relative. If you've absorbed some biases and haven't done enough research, then you might end up writing something that feels plausible to you, but which isn't actually representative or plausible to anyone else. The way to avoid this is to do the research and check (to the best of your ability) your biases. For example, you aren't American, I assume you've at least visited NYC? If not, you should. You can visit some of the communities I mentioned! You can eat in restaurants, visit mosques, have conversations with actual real people who are living the life you're writing about! If you don't have the time, money, or spoons to do that, there are other ways to do good research -- films and YT/Tiktok videos made by people from the communities in question, for example. But you'd need to watch a lot of them to get a good representative sample.

I recommend this book to all the writing students I've taught at Clarion, and other writer workshops: Writing the Other, by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward. There's a particular part of it that seems relevant here, which is a kind of hierarchy of "appropriate" appropriation, I think first mentioned by Diantha Day Sprouse but included in Writing the Other. Basically it says that if you want to write about a culture that isn't your own, you can learn about that culture in one of several ways: a) You can be an Invader, and just go take whatever intellectual and artistic tidbits from that culture that you want, regardless of how damaging this might be to members of that group. Example: non-Indigenous people who write about actual secret practices, or who encourage the desecration of sacred places. b) You can be a Tourist, in which you're still mooching from that culture, but at least you're figuratively paying someone for it and accepting tidbits that the culture has chosen to sell. Example: getting a sensitivity reader. Or c) you can be an Invited Guest, who brings in as much as they take out, and who has formed relationships that are beneficial to all involved. Example: being part of an exchange program, both as a student and later as a host, and maintaining those friendships outside of the program.

The goal is to be an IG, but that isn't always possible. Tourist is still better than being an Invader. (...I feel like I'm leaving out a category. It's been a while since I read the book; any more recent readers want to check me here?) But the closer you can get to actually participating in that culture, the more your work will be informed by reality instead of biases or misinformation, and the more likely your work will read as plausible not just to you, but to your widest possible audience -- people familiar with the culture and people who aren't.

(I'm a little concerned about your phrasing of "force myself to include more representation," note. Why would that need to be a forced thing? A writer's goal should be to write something that feels lived-in and authentic to [if it's a real place] most people's experience -- not to meet some arbitrary standard, but because that's how you master immersion and characterization. If good immersion and characterization feel forced to you right now, that suggests you need more practice. I recommend writing short stories!)

[seat-safety-switch]

Tradition is a horrifying thing, isn't it? Everyone is forced to do things the way their great-grandparents did. We're stuck in eternal ancestor worship, doing little things to honour the memory of someone we've never met. Even if, as in my family, it's highly likely that those folks didn't intend for things to become "the way things are done from now on."

Where I grew up, you can be a Ford person, a Chevy person, or a Dodge person. It's not encouraged to be a Dodge person, although it is a lifestyle that has become more acceptable in the present day. My grandfather was a Ford person. His father? Probably would have been a Ford person, but he believed that cars were the devil and instead tried to breed souped-up horses using exotic varieties of hay. The usual story, you know how it is.

Because my dad's dad was a Ford person, he was a Ford person, and so now I am also forced to be a Ford person. If Ford ever went away, I assume that the entire family tradition would be destroyed, washed up on the rocks of the inevitable collapse of an unwieldy capitalist enterprise that makes kind of half-ass SUVs now and not much else. Do I drive a lot of Fords? Hell no: they're expensive to fix, and I much prefer my late-70s Mopar crapcans, which unlike the Fords, nobody else wants to own.

I have a '75 Comet with a bent frame, full of old tires, for posterity, in case my dad ever comes back from the circus, and that's about it. Grandpa would be proud, probably, although I'm sure if he had the chance today he would pick up a base Honda Odyssey minivan, because it would be faster and more comfortable than anything else made in his entire lifetime. Hell, even great-grandpa would probably give up the horse modding for a chance at two sliding doors and seven seats.

What I'm trying to get at is: just because your dad, mom, or court-appointed guardian is real weird about a certain make of car, you don't have to be too. You can make your own choices about what shitty automobile to use, because chances are you're already going to let them down in a million other ways. At least this way you get to do it in style, laying down a four-alarm burnout in their driveway when they get a little froggy about your shitbox at Thanksgiving.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

More Darry Curtis headcanons

-Goes to every single parent/teacher interview night or open house at Ponyboy’s school, even if he has to take off work. Part of it is because he’s determined to be a good guardian but part of it is because he just proud of Pony and likes hearing from teachers how great he is

-Speaking of how great Pony is, Darry brags about Pony SO much. Like his work crew and the gang never stop hearing about how great the kid is…except when the kid is present. Then you couldn’t get a compliment out of him if you pried his jaw open

-He and Sodapop both have a soft spot for soap operas and watch them together super late at night so no one else in the gang- Pony included- will find out. (Steve caught them once but he just sat down quietly, waving away their hasty attempts to explain themselves, muttering for them to shut up, and that he used to watch them with his mom when she was still around. The three of them finished the episode and went to bed without saying anything else.)

-Loves music of all kinds (I just know he’d be one of those guys that is SO into music history and makes it everyone else’s problem) “did you know this song was meant to be an apology to-“ “-to some random broad, we know Dar, now shut up would ya?”

-Is left handed

-He and Two-bit butt heads quite a bit but he’s also closer to Two than almost anyone else in the gang because they’re the closest in age. They have so many inside jokes that the rest of the gang gets confused because Two can sometimes get him to snicker from seemingly innocuous remarks that aren’t funny to anyone but Darry

-Has dragged Soda (and Steve by extension) away from Buck’s too many times to count and is pissed every time

-Worries the whole time when he goes on ski trips with his old buddies. He worries a lot anyway, but it’s always worse when he’s too far from home to get there immediately  if something happened. Both Soda and Pony know this so they’re actually better behaved when he’s gone than when he isn’t

-Speaking of the ski trips, he always comes back glowing, for once looking his age, so the gang encourages him to go as much as possible. They have to be subtle about it though, because he gets suspicious that they’re planning something if they make it too obvious they’re trying to get him to leave, and then there’s no way in hell he’ll go

-Loves rodeos but unlike Soda has never and never wanted to participate in one

-Mother's day and father's day are contentious days in the Curtis house ever since the accident, so Soda and Pony just designated a random day as 'Darry Day" and got him little gifts, and did all the housework because they really do appreciate everything he does for them. Darry was super touched and vehemently denies tearing up when he saw the card Pony made for him

-His bond with Tim Shepard is hard for the gang, Darry himself, and even Tim to figure out, but it’s very strong despite how little they actually interact

-Despite refusing to ever go to the hospital, he’s actually the absolute worst patient when he’s sick. It takes a lot for him to admit that he’s ill, but once he does he’s absolutely insufferable. Pony and Soda takes turns taking care of him because they’re both liable to lose their temper if they have to do it for too long without a break. (“Soda my head hurts” “I know Darry” “Soda I need a glass of water” “you have a glass of water” “but Soda it’s not cold” “I got you a new one five minutes ago” “but Soda it warmed up” “damnit! Pony tag in, you deal with him, I need a smoke” “Pony I’m dying” “you’re not dying Dar” “yes I am” "no you're not")

-He’s a super fast walker. Like, anyone shorter than him has to jog a lil to catch up

-He’s a cat person. Pony and Soda are both dog people, and it has caused more than one argument despite the fact they have no pets and couldn’t afford  one even if they could agree on what they wanted

-He and Soda definitely made a secret handshake when they were little, and he still remembers every single move of it even though they haven’t done it in years and he isn’t sure if Soda even remembers making it

[relaxxattack]

hihi im going to dump about auspisticism in your askbox because i feel like the people here would appreciate it

anyways i feel like auspisticism would be less touchy feely than the other quadrants. like moirails are like that, and obviously matesprits are going to be affectionate, and even kismisesess are going to be affectionate l. but auspisticism doesn't have the same sort of immediate physical relationship.

i think that auspisticism more than other quadrants is definitely very individual to the people involved. because its a mediation. it kind of has to be tailored to the people involved because what stops one person from doing something stupid encourages others.

because the role of an auspistice requires so much understanding of others, often certain people will be shoved more into that role (i.e. kanaya). it requires you to know a lot about relationships and the specific people you're auspisticing

in the culture it's definitely seen as the least glamorous relationship. it's still important, just harder to sensationalize. the most widely represented auspisticisms are either subversions of the typical relationships or focus more on the relationships within the auspisticism rather than the auspisticism itself.

this is also reflected in the color choice. red is a color of passion, black is intense, pale is soft and childlike, but grey is just sort of meh. honestly it's kind of the troll equivalent of beige. which represents the most necessary, and yet the least sensational romance.

popular gifts for ashmates would include clovers (because of course), The Get-Along shirt, and anything that involves understanding. a journal explaining your thought processes, an art piece representing your relationships. auspisticism is about coming to an understanding, at the end of it all. an understanding of who you are as people, and your relationship.

honestly i wish people explored auspisticism more in fanfics. it can get complicated, but it's really interesting to explore!

RAAAHH AUSPISTICISM MENTIONED ‼️‼️♣️♣️

hell yeah we definitely love that stuff over here!!!!!! and yes auspisticism is for sure not the most glamorous, but it’s really important because it keeps other relationships from not falling apart. it keeps friendgroups from imploding and it maintains some social order to prevent murder or vengeance cycles and shit like that!

it’s about keeping other people in check. that’s important!

though i’ll admit i dont have the eye for auspisticism like i do moirallegiance and kismesissitude

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

Some truths people need to accept about therapy

This isn't an anti-therapy post. If it works for you, that's great. I just see people getting a bit pushy when it comes to encouraging others to attend and not accepting different points of views. Some of these I've talked about before but figured I'd list them here anyway

-Bad therapists exist. Sometimes people aren't good in the field they chose. Sometimes those people are the wrong kind of people to be in that field. You know, like when they that the "mean girls" become nurses. A bad therapist, for example, might take the side of an abusive parent, using excuses like "they probably had a bad childhood" or "they did their best." If you're there because you're seeking help, that isn't helpful. Imagine being traumatized by the abuse you suffered and the person who is supposed to help you sympathizes with your abuser instead. It happens and it's not okay.

But I've seen people online that get defensive when these therapists are called out or the practice has any sort of criticism towards it. I think a lot of that stems from wanting to protect therapy in a sense from being badmouthed. But then you have this problem of shutting out anything that could be deemed oppositional and you hurt people in the process. (which I'll get into more on the next point). If you take criticism and believe that comes from an anti-therapy mindset, then you need to reflect and ask yourself why you only want to accept the positivity. Those bad therapists don't just cease to exist because you've shut the "idea" of them out.

Bad therapists need to be held accountable for their actions. And in sense, I'm not referring to "bad" as a bad fit for you. I'm talking about those that behave unethically or something else along those lines.

And no, saying that "well therapists are humans too..." is not an acceptable excuse. Sure, it's true but I hold people of certain professions to a higher standard than others. A fast food worker making a mistake and giving you the wrong food is one thing. But you'd probably have a much stronger reaction if a nurse gives the wrong dose of medication to your loved one because they weren't paying attention. Are you going to be placated by "they're only human"?

In the same way, you don't want a therapist that can worsen your mental health. A therapist is in a position of a delicate situation- bad ones need to be weeded out. I think too often people just shrug and tell others if they don't like their therapists then just try a new one. That's not always an option for someone, especially if for insurance reasons or whatever, they have limiting options of who they can go see.

-You shouldn't invalidate someone's experience. Kinda goes along with number one. As it was mentioned, a bad therapist can worsen someone's mental health. Someone might have had a bad experience and doesn't want to go back ever or they might be hesitant because they don't want to encounter it again. The thing is, though, in many cases if someone has a bad experience in therapy there's this assumption that it's their own fault. They weren't willing to work hard enough. They obviously don't want to get help. If you think about it, isn't that victim blaming?

Sure, there's people who go to therapy and are like that, but it's not the case for everyone. But I see this sort of thing online a lot.

-Not everyone has access to therapy, be that because of financial reasons or there isn't a place near them offering services. This is a huge one too. Online, people throw the word therapy around like there are no obstacles for anyone and if you don't go, you're just not willing to help yourself. Not everyone can go. Instead of acting morally superior, try to understand that everyone's situation is different

-Someone not having the time to go is valid. it's great that you're going to work full time, taking care of the kids, maintaining the house and having a social life while being able to squeeze in a therapy appointment but it's just not realistic for a lot of people and you have to understand that. And I know to some people it's as easy as if you really want it you'll make time for it but again, that's not necessarily how that works. You can really want something sometimes and it's just not feasible for you. You have to understand that your experience does not mean it's the same for everyone

-Be respectful if someone doesn't want it. Maybe they'll attend in the future or maybe they won't and that's okay. It isn't the only form of help they can get for themselves. You can't expect people to be respectful of you or others if you(/they) want therapy if you're not willing to be respectful in return

Again, don't act morally superior. Don't mock them. Just don't. It's not right and it won't bring someone any closer to going so I don't know why someone would do it

-It just doesn't work for everyone and that's okay

Don't be the kind of person to push someone away from getting help (be that for the first time or again)

Sometimes we get so enthusiastic (/ protective) of something we believe in that we push people away by being narrow minded and that's what I see happening here

[heartsformars]

Hi! Can you please do the ramshackle trio, which are Skipp, Vinnie & Stone with a fem s/o who comes from the rich. Unlike the rich people, she doesn't seem the poor as inferior but human beings. She EXTREMELY SHY & doesn't know how to talk to people but she is kind & gentls as you get to know her. Plus she possesses an angelic beauty & a good singer. Sorry if this request is long.

Her outfit is this:

Heaven is missing an angel… ramshackle trio x fem! shy! Reader

A/N: Hi, I don't know if you wanted them separately or together but I wrote them separately because it is more comfortable for me to write them this way, but if you want me to write them again there is no problem

TW: stealing and gambling mentioned, bad jokes, vinnie being vinnie… again

───────────── ✿

SKIPP

-You share his musical taste and he loves that! -He'll probably play songs for you while you sing, although if you're a little embarrassed he won't force you to. - you and him would definitely be that kind of duo where one talks more than the other. On any given date skipp would probably be telling his fifth story of the day or telling you about the things he likes while you just listen while sipping tea or coffee (or whatever drink you like). -He doesn't care if you're shy, he'll always be sure to give you a push to encourage you to talk to more people. -Even if it doesn't always work out and ends up being a disaster he will always be there to cheer you up at the end of the day. -he LOVES your fashion style. -probably mentioned it to you several times but you never knew how to respond in a coherent way. -until one day you gave him an outfit that matched yours -and he LOVES it -you probably always see him in those clothes when you go on dates and he'll make sure they don't get torn or damaged too much. -will always be sure to keep the things you give him in good condition. -although vinnie has accidentally pawned a few of them -from that time on all the gifts you give him will be kept with a "Do not touch" note.

───────────── ✿

STONE

-probably won't think much of your shyness at first. -however, later on he may have doubts about it, he will not ask tho -he won't admit it but your voice relaxes him too much. After a crappy day he probably ends up falling asleep when you're asking him how his day was. -He denies affection too much, so when you give him things as gifts he'll act like he's not interested or even kind of annoyed that you spent money on him. (but you can see him smiling as he turns away.) -he's definitely a softie out of that whole "I'm not interested in other people" shell, so don't feel bad when he acts aloof, he just doesn't know how to express how much he appreciates you. -he never really cared about the way you dressed, it was nice and fancy like all the other rich people in ramshackle. -although if you give him a suit that matches yours he won't mind at all. -he probably won't wear it often, but he'll always keep it in a place where it won't get dirty or broken by rats. -he has flaws, of course, but you still love your sadboi no matter what.

───────────── ✿

VINNIE

"Ermm excuse me, she asked for no pickles" ahh relationship 💀💀💀 -But no kidding, I feel like vinnie wouldn't pick up much that you're shy, you're just more reserved. -so don't be surprised when you find her shouting out things that you consider embarrassing but (according to her) are normal. -although obviously if you tell her someday she'll try to stop doing it, although it still gets away from her sometimes -Another person who LOVES your voice, whether it's a date or they're just hanging out, will encourage you to sing something just to hear you. -probably always admitting to liking your voice while you're dying of embarrassment. -Vinnie doesn't take hints very well. -I mean, outside of the basic secret steal signals if you tell her something like "the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?" she'll probably be like "yeah uh-huh." -although she'll start to pick up on them eventually, don't worry, she learns fast. -just like stone I feel like at first he didn't pay much attention to the way you were dressed, but she thought it was cute -I feel she wouldn't like wearing dresses so much, it's not comfortable to steal with those things on. -but if you give her one, she will try to wear it on occasions to look more decent, especially on dates. -although she would keep it in a special place with the other things you gave her as a present. -at first skipp and stone were hesitant to see her wearing so many expensive things -suspecting if she'd gotten lucky ripping off gamblers or if she'd stolen something REALLY expensive -although eventually they will realize it’s just her fancy gf giving her gifts

-and they’re fine with it until it’s practically vinnie drowning them out by mentioning you even before they go to sleep

-“oh and y/n is very cute and-“ AND you have stone covering himself (what is supposed to be) a pillow and skipp just telling her very politely that he wants to sleep

-but at the end of the day she’s happy with you, no matter what

—bye this actually took me so long is embarrassing but I didn’t have much time to write so SORRY!! But I have more free time so ig I’m just gonna finish some hcs & oneshots that I just left there lol

[zukosdualdao]

i've been seeing the take recently that what aang is actually encouraging katara to do is to forgive herself and that he’s not explicitly encouraging or expecting her to forgive yon rha.

the ironic thing is that i do think part of what katara needed from the experience of confronting yon rha was to let go of the guilt she held for her mother sacrificing herself for katara. i find this especially evident in the scene where she recounts the story to zuko and remarks that she's "not the helpless little girl" she was when they came, and how enraged she becomes when yon rha asks who kya was protecting. but though she ultimately chooses not to take revenge, katara facing yon rha and realizing what he did is about him and what kind of person he is and was never her fault is ultimately a good thing. it’s not an easy or fun experience, but i do think it was a very necessary one.

i might be somewhat less critical of aang in this episode if that actually was what he was saying (though if he went about it in the exact same way, i would still find it condescending and not a productive way of reaching out to her.)

but that’s just… literally not what he’s saying.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him. Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish? Katara [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn't understand. [Begins to walk away.] Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people? Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice. Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge. Katara [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves! Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

i think this is the one interaction between aang and katara in which you could maybe argue that he wants her to forgive herself, as he brings up something he's expressed guilt about before, in the storm, (running away before the fire nation killed the air nomads), and she comforted him there and encouraged him not to feel guilty.

but the thing is, he doesn't say anything about how she shouldn't feel guilty. he tries to acknowledge what she's feeling, which is good, but if he was honestly trying to encourage her to forgive herself, i think he would remind her of how she comforted him when he expressed his own guilt. i'm not even totally sure how in tune he is with her guilt. it's not something he mentions when expressing he knows how she feels. (and this isn't me saying he's awful to not know that; it's not something he can necessarily know unless she's expressed it to him, which we haven't seen. but we have seen her try to connect with him over her mother’s death to empathize with him in the southern air temple, and he doesn’t really acknowledge it. so, i do think it shows he has an overly simplistic understanding of her emotions, and that he's not thinking about this in the framework of forgiving oneself.)

if the writers wanted to showcase him encouraging her to forgive herself, they could have had aang say something like, "i know how badly losing your mother must have hurt, but it wasn't your fault, and i'm worried that confronting the man who killed her won't help you."

instead, he immediately makes an argument about moral corruption - he thinks it is about revenge and expresses she sounds like jet because of it. that... is not encouraging her to forgive herself. it's a judgment based on morality. you can argue about whether aang's right or not (i, personally, find his stance reductive in context, but to each their own), but he is absolutely being judgmental here.

this is when the concept of forgiveness comes up:

Katara: Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice. Aang: Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness. Zuko: That's the same as doing nothing! Aang: No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive. Katara: It's not just hard, it's impossible. [Cuts to overhead shot of the field as she walks away, Zuko following behind.]

in it, aang encourages forgiveness directly after katara expresses she feels she has no choice but to confront her mother’s killer. even if aang does mean forgiveness for herself, katara does not hear it that way, as is made evident by the fact she insists forgiveness would be impossible here, and if he does mean forgiveness for herself, i don't know why he wouldn't try to correct that misunderstanding.

Aang: So you were just gonna take Appa anyway? Katara: Yes. Aang: It's okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?

this might actually be my least favorite part of the episode. while it is generally not nice to take a friend's sky bison without permission, it is so genuinely condescending and a false equivalence to even try to compare that to the murder of her mother, particularly because of how smug aang is about his example of forgiving her for it.

also, aang is trying to "give [her] ideas" about what she should do, and it's clear he doesn't blame himself for katara taking appa. he is not forgiving himself here and telling her that’s what she should do. his point is that he's forgiving her and thinks she should do the same. (for the man. who murdered. her mother. and, while we're at it, would have murdered katara herself if he knew the truth. it is just... not the same situation at all.)

Katara: Don't try to stop us. Aang: I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. [Katara situates herself on Appa's head.] But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

aaaand there we have it.

aang 100% wants and tells katara to forgive her mother's killer. even if you think he also wants her to find healing (which i actually agree he does want for her, but i don't think he expresses it well/in a way that is likely to reach her, and the show acts like he is wise for this regardless) and forgive herself (if he does realize katara needs this, it's not something he expresses), he also very much does absolutely tell katara to forgive her mother's murderer, and that she won't find healing without doing so.

you can agree or disagree with his stance, but that is absolutely the argument he is making, and it’s weird to try to act like it’s not.

and, as i said before, i personally find it reductive. there are things in this world that we should be angry at. there are things people find impossible to forgive. those things may be different for everyone, but they do exist, and that's completely morally neutral. i find the idea that katara has to forgive the man who killed her mother in an act of imperalist violence in order to find healing and inner peace disturbing. no, actually, she doesn't!

this ideology is also very commonly weaponized against abuse survivors in particular, which is a big part of why it is significant that zuko goes with katara on this journey and defends her right not to forgive yon rha, even as he later also respects her decision not to kill him, which shatters the whole false dichotomy of forgiveness vs revenge being presented by aang’s role in the episode.

we don't actually see the talk in which zuko tells aang about what happened, but based on his perspective the whole episode, i very much doubt he framed it as "katara decided to forgive yon rha."

Aang: Zuko told me what you did. Or what you didn't do, I guess. I'm proud of you. Katara: I wanted to do it. I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or because I'm strong enough not to. Aang: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing. Katara [Rises from boardwalk.]: But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him.

aang hears about what happened and assumes that because katara didn't kill yon rha, she forgave him, and katara corrects him. she (quite angrily) tells aang that she didn’t forgive yon rha, and she never will. katara knows exactly what aang was telling her to do, and even at the end of the episode, it’s clear she resents it and resents aang being “proud of her” for his assumption.

[artist-issues]

why are people thinking you're antisemetic or racist or generally hateful? doesn't make sense

I think many people confuse this: "I disagree with some of your beliefs, and some of your choices," with hate. Which isn't surprising.

Many people choose to make their whole identity their race, or background, or scars, or parents, or social cause, or religion. So then if you criticize or condemn one of those things, they take it as a direct attack on themselves.

To be fair, I haven't criticized any races! That would be silly. Lumping a whole people group together and saying, "all ______ people are _____ or wrong about something!" Would be super untrue, and definitely racist. Because you're assuming something about them based on their skin or where they come from.

But I didn't say anything like that. I said I disagreed with certain (not all) conclusions that the Orthodox Jewish religion comes to about the God of the Bible, and I said homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible (big whoop, so is pride, so is anger, and I get angry and prideful all the time: it's a sin Jesus died to save me from like any other.)

But like I said, the problem is, people wrap their identity up in those things. So to them, it feels like an attack on their person. It's not enough for them to say, "you're incorrect about that." They have to also say "you're hateful for believing that." It's not true, but I can see why they think so.

Thank you for the encouragement! You're very kind. Anything good I happen to say is good thanks to God, in spite of me. Remember, if the posts bug you, filter out the "very long post" tag!

[tbhyknow2]

TSUBAKI AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

notes. the only reason why i got into windbre is because of her and mister white-haired blue-eyed hajime umemiya. (im gonna explode)

contents and warnings. mostly fluff, tsubaki is referred to using she/her pronouns (pls she is heavily transfem-coded), making out (mentioned, non explicit).

✦ Somehow, some way, you managed to get into a relationship with someone as cool and awesome as her! How? Why? You aren't sure, but you don't question it, afraid that it'll backfire on you.

✦ Tsubaki is extremely affectionate and loves PDA. She would hold your hand if you let her to, squeezing it occasionally to make sure you're still hanging onto her. It's a small, little habit that you have formed— a wordless communication.

✦ Sometimes, when she sees you from a distance, she'll run up to you and either greet you with a hug or surpise you with a hug from behind. Forgive her if she buries her face into your hair and smells your shampoo, it makes her giddy when you use the new scented shampoo she recommended you.

✦ More often than not, you'll find lipstick marks all over you when she goes to attack you with kisses. It's a fun surprise whenever you suddenly find a mark on your forehead or on your jaw... It's kind of embarrassing, but hey, that's love you suppose.

✦ If you aren't comfortable with PDA, Tsubaki will understand and will adjust to be more affectionate behind closed doors.

✦ She loves to have sleepovers at your place, even more so when your parents are so welcoming and accepting of her. You'd guys have self-care sessions, pulling out skin-care kits and applying facemasks while watching a movie together; Sometimes, you'd have long rant-filled talks about random things you guys find interest in. The sleepovers often end in either cuddling or makeout sessions that also ends up in cuddling.

✦ Uses pet names, but to the point it's unbearingly sweet. Most of the time, it's the slip of a tongue like "Could pass me the salt, darling?", "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry" and "Don't keep me waiting, Angel"... And the other half is just teasing because she just loves watching you become all flustered.

✦ She's also easily flustered, so you guys have flirting competitions and the first to become shy loses. It's a cute, little bonding moment!

✦ Shopping dates are a must! It's practically a ritual for you both. At first, she brought you along, so you can give your honest opinion whenever she tries out new accesories or outfits. But when you start to do the same, you bet she'll be hyping you up. Even more so when you're the type to stick in your personal bubble and avoid new things.

✦ She's the kind of girlfriend that'll introduce you to things you never thought of trying before, but you're glad you did because it makes you so happy! And that's her number one goal when it comes to you.

✦ Whenever you're feeling down, she's there to comfort you. If you need a calm voice to listen to, she's there to sit beside you and offer her shoulder to dry your tears. She'll pat your head and tell you everything's going to be alright, and just lots of encouraging things.

✦ She'd do anything she can to distract you from your thoughts, even going as far as take out on dates and have you focus on being happy instead of whatever your problem is.

✦ Tsubaki just cares so much and loves you lots, and she wants you to be is comfortable around her. So if you have a problem with anything (i.e loud noises, crowds, being uncomfortable with affection), she'll understand and adjust. All she asks is you do the same for her as well!

✦ With her, people don't even make you a target. I mean, she is one of the four heavenly kings in Boufurin. Anyone who messes with her beloved, messes with her.

✦ If anyone dares to push their luck, well... They best be prepared because she isn't going to let that slide.

✦ And after she's done teaching them a very important lesson on how to keep their noses in their own business, she's off to giving you all the love and affection you deserve, making you forget all about anyone that tried to hurt you.

[maochira]

Hello hi! Can I request the father figure coaches finding out that the reader (only girl) having imposter syndrome and/or very low self esteem since she got through blue lock surviving out other players who she think deserve her spot instead. Please and thank you!

I don't write fem!reader (in the way you requested)........ anyways. *transgenders your request* (also please read my request rules before you request something. Thanks)

Tags: transmasc!reader/transfem!reader/non-binary!reader (can be read as any trans!reader), father!figure Noa, AU where Blue Lock isn't only for guys but for any gender, I didn't feel like writing for every coach so I just did Noa

Noel Noa

Noa is the only person in Blue Lock who you're out to

Back at home you'd always talk to him when you would doubt yourself and even though he never knows what exactly to say, Noa has his own ways of making you feel valid

But because he's so busy with in Blue Lock, you stopped talking about your problems and began to keep them to yourself

You already felt out of place back at your soccer club at home, but with all these great strikers around you, you begin to doubt yourself more

Noa notices there's something off about you. You've been skipping practice a lot and you seem to be unable to concentrate properly during matches

He honestly doesn't know what to do. He's usually not the type of guy to ask you what's wrong because he knows you usually approach him with your problems

There are also barely any moments when he has time to spend with you alone. So one day he says you need to do some sort of special training with him

At first you were scared that he'd scold and critisize you for your skills getting worse

But instead of doing any kind of training, Noa keeps asking if you're okay and what's wrong

You try to convince him that everything's alright, but eventually you end up breaking down in tears and everything you've kept to yourself spills out

The way you feel so undeserving of your position. The way you feel like everyone is so much better and that there's no way you'd ever catch up to their level. The way you just feel as if you don't fit in because you're not cis like them.

Noa is so confused because he never expected the last part to be an issue for you. He always thought you were confident in your gender and never let the fact that you're trans drag you down

He keeps reminding you that your gender doesn't matter and how many reasons there are for you to be in Blue Lock. It's your skill that matters here, not how you identify

After that day, Noa begins to ask how you feel more often and makes sure to give you lots of encouragement and reassurance

If you liked this, please remember to reblog and add tags! Reading them is the best way to support me because it motivates me a lot!

[dent-de-leon]

Lastly, Leo Amicus Circle connections. I'm going to miss him ; ;

Taliesin: "Let's start with Lycoris. I'm going with Coworker. I will admit, when you talk about what you do, I kind of glaze over. I really appreciate the suit, because it makes me look good, which is a good wingman to have. But the circles you run in are definitely circles I don't run in, and that's so valuable. You're a tough nut to crack, so I always like--I really enjoy trying to get you to laugh, smile, or grimace...getting a reaction out of you is always rewarding."

"Grimoria--Confidant. I am a keeper of secrets. I know everybody's bullshit, you have to tell someone. You are more or less the only person on earth I actually more or less tell everything to. I think I probably invite you up for coffee and tea quite often, cause I'm also in the Red Lamp district, and I like to think it is really a safe haven, and you're invited up. You probably have a key to my place. So no matter what happens--sit down, we're going to have a cup of coffee. But I may talk more than you no matter what's going on..."

"Synamynt...I love it, I love the name...I put down Muse. I feel like my charms don't work well on you because I'm nothing but eye contact, and I do not know how to turn it off. I'm sure there comes a point--there are occasional points where I have to talk to you and I literally close my eyes, just to make it possible. The work that you're doing fascinates me, and I think there might be a solution to my problem that is in your problem, and so your problems interest me, because I feel like we might have some stuff in common with our damage.

"And you're smart enough to be able to actually approach it in a direction I can't. So I would like to think that I am at least trying to encourage your work however I can. Quietly. I think we would've [crossed paths before] I'm trying to see if I would've remembered...my feeling is, I would've remembered you when you were younger, because those sorts of functions were the boring ones where people trotted out their families. So it was never the wild or crazy stuff, it was Uncle Titus' Boxing Day party that is held every three years, because they have to divide it up amongst the family. And everybody's in a fucking suit, and it's vile. Oh, you would've been trotted out, like just the grandkids shown off , cleaned up. So you know, I would've been aware. There would've been that mental image of where you are because, you know, you start taking account. But I don't think I would've read a personality in you yet. But I do know your family, and you apparently--and I think I have the right read--fell delightfully very far from the tree. In a weird direction, but anything's better than that tree. (Katy: "Would you have known my mother?") Probably, yeah...Yeah, you know all the other families cause they have money. You know, money knows money, so yeah. That's possible. We can cement that. I would've at the very least known of her."

For Malcolm, I put Family. For kind of the same reason you did, which is we have the bond of where we came from, which no one really understands. That is such a very unique place. We are very different people, but in this one point, we are-- (Imari: "Connected.") --There's just no one who can know what that is. Everything else is just--'My word, you're useful and it's wonderful to have you around.' But yeah, we would not be friends if this wasn't here. In the real world, we would never talk. We both grew up in a cult, more or less."

Taliesin saying Leo likes to make the doctor laugh and smile and that Malcolm is family to him...my heart is in shambles.....

[atlabeth]

now that the dust has cleared from the chaos for me irl, i want to officially thank you all for 3000 followers!! because wow. where do i even start?

this isn't a milestone i thought i would ever reach. i made this blog during my junior year of high school when i was bored as hell in online school, not knowing what would come of it, and honestly not expecting anyone to read anything i’ve written. i exclusively wrote avatar fics (kind of embarrassing that a series i started at the beginning of my blog still isnt finished huh?) because it was what i had been watching most recently. i started to gain some recognition, made some friends, and slowly but surely i carved out my little corner of the internet. and now, 3 years, 3000 followers, and almost 500,000 words later, i’m going into my junior year of college with some of the best online friends a girl could ask for (shoutout to my day 1 @simplysolo for still being around and still being the best ever, and shoutout to all my other tumblr friends that have deactivated over the years</3 i miss you guys) a whole array of fandoms that i’ve dabbled in, and a newly discovered thing for middle aged men. cool 

i truly cannot thank you all enough. i’ve always been a writer, but this blog has given me a sorely needed creative outlet and made me more confident in my writing skills than ever. at the end of the day i’m just writing silly little x reader fics, but i’ve truly had so much fun doing it! every single fictional man im in love with is also in love with me isn’t that crazy!!!

a special, extended shoutout to the loveliest mutuals i’ve picked up over the years. i wouldn’t be half the writer i am and i wouldn’t have half as much fun on here without you all. @simplysolo for being around since the beginning and truly being the greatest person on this app, i love you intensely, @sokkadora for being another one of my ogs (we dont talk anymore but i see you every so often on my dash and you’re doing great!!) @mcallmestiles for being one of the first avatar fics i ever read, traitor encouraged me to be a better writer and i hope you’re doing well with your medical career!! @tangledinlove for being my most famous mutual, the kindest person in the world, and being brought together through the power of lockwood, @giyuji and @milkiane who are both inactive but who i have to tag because i love them and i hope they’re doing well; naomi you got me into the grishaverse and liane we were in the trenches of the stranger things revival together, @boneblushed for dealing with so much but still being phenomenal and lovely in every way, @tommymcartney for being so sweet all the time, my biggest cheerleader and encouraging my insanity in every fandom ive been a part of, @nghtwngs for being the only person who loses it over nikolai lantsov as much as i do, to all my new/more recent mutuals @hotchfiles @ma1dita @moowithmidnight @emiliehornby @supercutszns i can't wait to get to know or keep getting to know you!!! you're all so lovely!!! and all the mutuals i don’t talk to as much as i should, i love you all and cherish you in my heart regardless of if we talk every day or have never said a single word to each other!! i don’t want to tag you all because i don’t want to bother you, but if you’re looking at this and thinking am i talking about you, i am. i love you. it takes a village and im so lucky to have you all as mine 

i can’t believe it’s been 3 years, i can’t believe i’m halfway done with college, and i can’t believe we hit 3,000. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for reading my fics and letting me be some small part of your lives. i can’t wait to write more for you all. keep a lookout for my 3k celebration post! 

[reddriot]

luxanna crownguard (lux) ✧ cosmetics in league of legends

if you can smile, you can be the light!

for @tanchirou, a literal ray of light and the lux of the real world. happy birthday, aki!

[uncanny-tranny]

Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?

[anarkittyuwuuniverse]

I love how people on this website will say you're like an evil person if you're not boycotting everything related to Harry Potter, even fanmade merchandise and fanfiction that doesn't make any profit for JK Rowling. But if you're encouraging people to boycott industrial animal agriculture then you're suddenly a moral purist who shouldn't be forcing your lifestyle choices on others and you need to understand that an individual's actions has no power whatsoever and that your consumption doesn't have any ethical dimension to it. Like lol, the priorities, the difference in scale.