thehauntedp0et

[thehauntedp0et]

I believe every person holds a beauty inside of them.

Maybe it is our souls, something we have that is pure, at the essence.

Or maybe it is simply that of life itself.

Whatever which, we are all made to be beautiful, and the life that surrounds us is what changes us into the not so beautiful.

Maybe your parents never loved you like there’s never loved them,

Maybe something so terrible happened that caused the terrible in you,

It all comes down to one rotten no good cycle, a never ending never breaking cycle that makes this world so terrible.

I can not believe it is who we are made to be. We were once all serene and possibilities but this terrible pain sinks into you and pulls you under,

so far, you can no longer see the light.

But at the core, at the core I believe there is pure sunshine, gifted to us by the stars.

//if we are not good what hope is there

[thehauntedp0et]

Why do I burn?

With a vengeance in my heart

So powerful I feel it may explode.

I’ve always hunted down a truth that no one yet knows

And when I don’t find it

I fall over in despair

As if it wasn’t hopeless all along.

Why shall I be different?

What is so special about me

Besides the pain in my bones

That aches so profoundly

I sometimes wish I was dead.

But every one hurts, don’t they

We all have a subtle ache inside of our chests

that beats like a second heartbeat

A reminder that the hurt, it never goes away

It will always linger.

It’s as if we were made to hurt

When pain is all you know

Why would you expect

Any less

Then heartbreak.

//we were made to hurt.

[thehauntedp0et]

It is that time again, when the night is so quiet you can almost hear the monsters

under your bed whispering your name, calling out too you, asking you too come play.

So utterly quiet it seems the dark is seeping into your eye sockets and pouring into your brain.

Rotting your insides until flowers grow in place

of your

Bones

your

Organs

And they trap you

in there tangled embrace.

Seeds of worry expanding into madness

Their thorns digging into molten skin and filling you with ugly little lies

And choking you with the tangled vines

Wrapping around your throat until there’s only silent suffering

And smothered cries.

//there are monsters still under my bed.

[thehauntedp0et]

I love when people are kind.

When they hold the door open, or pick up that five dollar bill that you dropped and yell:

Hey you, you dropped this

And you say wow thanks how can I repay you

And they say what for, and walk away.

Or they say simply nothing at all, no expectations, just pure bread compassion of the unlikely kind.

I love when people do good things without any reward other than the blind hope of receiving what we give.

Kindness is something we learn at a young age, in kindergarten, when we’re taught to share, and if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all.

It is something many have forgotten.

With rotten youth, spines grow unsparingly harsh.

And they twist words like a knife to our yearning hearts.

And kindness, they never do get back

The older, the fainter, the crueler.

[thehauntedp0et]



//wasting and waiting

[thehauntedp0et]

Hearing the children screaming in joy

On the playground

Had brought back memories I never could have imagined forgetting

How childhood had slowly slipped away

To a scarcely hum

In the back of the brain

When it was lost on me, I can’t recall

I just know it is gone

And I am morning it like waking up from a lovely dream.

Becoming

Foggy

Distant

As more time passes

To the point when you knew you had one

But recollecting the events is a near impossible deed.

//childhood is dead

[thehauntedp0et]

I am a true performer at heart

Even when I am not an a stage

Everything I do is to please everyone else

Aesthetically and in the heart

I dress to draw eyes and to catch your stare

But I also fear the possibility of rejection

I hate to be hated

I crave to be seen

All I’ve ever wanted was to be understood.

There is soul in everything I do

Even when I am making my morning coffee

At what point does the performance stop

When am I aloud to be anything less then perfect

It is exhausting

To always be dancing on the edge

Of a pedestal of my own making.

//even my soul is masquerading.

[thehauntedp0et]

I feel so guilty

For hating him

Because I remember those few good times we had

When I was 6 and we went to see the butterflies

When I was 8 and we would go to the movies

When weekends were fun

And not torcher

Because I know you’ll be at home

When I thought he loved me with

No conditions at hand

But those times have been gone for a while

I can’t even remember the last time we were in the same room without it ending in ‘I’m the bad guy’

I feel so guilty

But he is the reason I am the way I am

He is the reason just the sound of his voice makes me go insane

Because when I needed someone most

He yelled in my face

When I needed love

He dangled it in my face

When I needed a hug

He held a knife to my face

But not once

Did he kiss it

And tell me

‘Everything would be okay’

Instead he forced me into hiding

So many times

In my room

Left to cry

To my own devices

When I really needed advice

He turned it around

And acted like I accused him

Of some unspeakable crime

When I needed a hand

He patronized me and called himself a saint

For doing the things that were required

Of a parent for a daughter

That is why I am the way i am

That is why I feel guilty for simply existing

and breathing your air.

//am I an idiot for thinking you could change?

[thehauntedp0et]

I mastered the skill of avoidance

from my mother

I learned walking away is all you can do

For the people who will never truly listen

Narcissists are never wrong.

I learned that yelling and hitting harmed no one but yourself

from my father

That breaking things

And breaking people

Is a dangerous way to live

A cycle that never ends

No matter how many times you say it will

No matter how good the rage may feel

It will end in nothing but misery.

I barley grasp the craft of saying goodbye

My best friend left me and now I dread just that

So I horde all my memories in a box

Locked away in the corners of my mind

My room littered in objects I will never need

But can’t bear to be without.

I mastered the art of starvation from all the girls on my phone

Telling me the lowest calorie foods to eat

And how much I must run to burn them off

And from my mother I learned

To hate all the things she hated on herself

Starving can only get you so far

Till there’s nothing left to loose.

At one month shy of eighteen

I still don’t yet know

How to properly love someone

How to give my heart away

And trust it won’t be broken

Into a million tiny fragments.

All the people in my life have molded me into the person I am today:

Avoidant

Angry

Apprehensive

Starved

Detached

And most of all

Someone who doesn’t know how to love

But I guess some skills come with time

Time and much much practice.

[thehauntedp0et]

They talk of closing the border

And producing more oil

Drilling more holes

All for saving the economy

But at what cost?

Drilling more holes

Striping our natural resources to the bone

They are fixing the economy

By slaughtering our home

America first

Americans first

No

It is them first

They only care about themselves

The rich support the rich

And the poor fend to the death.

But what of the people dying

What of the world burning

Our home is dying

It is our fault and no one seems to care

At least the people that matter

Who have the power to actually turn it around

Because no sweat for what you can not see

Right?

But I see

I see the world eroding

And the ice burgs melting

They say Climate change is fine

It is not us

We are not to blame

Right?

And what can I do

I can sit in my room and cry

Because I do not control the oil

And I am no saint

I can not perform miracles

When my hands are tied

With a Palomar knot

And dipped in denies

Denials of our leaders

There hands

Are the ones coated in vile play

Like it is all one big game

Playing with mankind

It is our hands dipped in the blood of our demise

Our self inflicted termination.

Here is the cold hard truth;

There is no rewind button

No do over

Life is not a game

And we have already lost it

I am not the one diminishing

The only protection we have

Recycling my bottles wont save a thing

So let the world burn

Because it will

Not unless you open your eyes

Please

god please

Would you just open your eyes.

//our world is dying and we are dying with it

[thehauntedp0et]

Prompt #229 The flowers died on Monday:

The flowers died on Monday

And with it my last shred of hope.

On Tuesday it poured and I stared at the mirror until I was red in the face

Longing for someone’s somewhere.

I couldn’t even find it in me to get up on Wednesday

Rotting I was

Never leaving the confidence of my bed.

Thursday was a fever dream

Over in the blind of an eye

Yet somehow still harrowing.

Friday felt like coming home

from years at war

finally serene.

On Saturday I realized I was completely alone when no one reaches out to contact me

I work nine to five.

Sunday was a torch to the heart

My parents fight again

My father is condescending and my mother cries.

It is Monday once more

And somehow there is less hope than before.

[thehauntedp0et]

The floods coming and I know there’s no time to get out

I know I’ll be stuck in her tide and she will drag me down

till it’s all white

All white lights and still nights

Shivering shells of ossein

Weighing me down like stone

Death is coming for me

I know

I know

And it’s not coming fast

My head pops above the surface

A silent remorse

A burst of relief

In a shimmering storm

Till the next wave nears

And I’m under again

I’m under…

I’m under……

I’m

u

n

d

e

r…………………….

//death is not quit, but the after is.

[thehauntedp0et]

Sitting and open windows

Stars and thunderstorms

Counting the seconds

Between lightning

and sound

Smoking through the cracks

Guitars and mellow melodies

Waiting for the new day

Fearing what comes when this mirage ends

Silence is on our side tonight

But there is no promise

It will be tomorrow.

I am

running

From this precious idea we call time

The idea of losing now

So I count the seconds to make them last a little bit longer

Grasp them with my fingertips and hope they stay still

And by doing so

I lose it all the same

Their is no running from time

It all catches up to you

inevitably.

// humor me, let’s sit and watch the stars and listen to the thunder and pretend this moment shall last forever, because I can’t bear the thought of it’s end.

[thehauntedp0et]

I just want to hurt a little less

And I want to feel a little less

And I want the pain in my chest

To eradicate

Into something that doesn’t hurt

I don’t want to hurt any more

And I don’t want anyone else to hurt because of me.

I just wish i could fall asleep

Without the hours of restless misery

I wish I could close my eyes without it opening my mind

Wish my thoughts could be pushed away without all the aid

Wish I wasn’t so filled with rage

So this rage,

in this chest

It’s growing by the day.

So much night in these eyes

It’s my cage

In my hands the darkness resides

Into bleeding ink on a page

Till I’m drowning in it

Till I’m gulping it

Inhaling it like it’s mercy

And I’m the taint

I’m the crease in your brow

The frown on your face

I don’t want to hurt any more

And I don’t want you to hurt because of me,

But I can’t help being a hurricane.

// I don’t want my pain to cause you pain.

[thehauntedp0et]

Nothing could ever emulate that captivating feeling you get

when staring up at the stars

on a clear night;

That sense of longing, for something you can never have.

Of knowledge you will never know, all hidden in the dark between stars.

I could lie beneath it for hours and never tire.

There will always be more to see, something I missed in the moments before and there will always be something in the moments after.

It is an infinite scope of cosmos.

And it is utterly incomparable.

//take a breath and go catch the stars with your eyes

[thehauntedp0et]

when you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers ^^

5 songs I like are Stubborn Love, Brand New City, Girl I’ve Always Been, Kiss with a Fist, and Don’t Panic!!!

[thehauntedp0et]

Where right back where we started

All those years ago

I feel it as my heart aches

I feel it in my bones everything is gunna change

All we had has gone away

Our one last hope has gone with the day

I kinda knew this from the start

I wanted to believe in a better place

But that time is not today

Hopefully my children do not feel this way

I’m told I’m one for the melodramatics

As I read comment after comment telling women to obey

They say go where you belong

Take it like a good girl

Your body my choice

No more killing babies

Now keep those legs closed

She must give amazing head

It’s all she’s ever used it for…

How can you be so sick?

//retrograde