tigerbasilisk

[tigerbasilisk]

I just read through an interesting write-up about a man who tried to fake the success of his self-published fantasy book series.

The blog that hosted this write-up is no more in the present, but it can still be accessed through the Wayback Machine, linked below.

It's a bit of a lengthy read spread across ten pages, but I greatly enjoyed the way the writer of this blog presented their investigation. They go into detail about a lot of things.

The comments section of each page is also amusing to go through.

What constantly baffled me while reading this was that the man in question was already a successful author in a manner of speaking, through his non-fiction manuals published by Microsoft. And yet he undertook a fruitless journey of falsehood to make him seem like a bestselling fantasy author instead.

Note an error in blog formatting where the links at the bottom of each article accidentally leave Page 9 out. Pages 1 through 7 link in numerical sequence, but Page 7 links to the FAQ (Page 10) which then links to Page 8. Remember to visit Page 9 from the index. 1 -> 2 -> 3 -> 4 -> 5 -> 6 -> 7 -> 10 -> 8 -x- 9.

[tigerbasilisk]

Any conspiracy theory about people going missing in National Parks is automatically silly to me. Like "Why are National Parks such a hotbed of disappearances???" because they're full of idiots. You've got thousands of people who've never pissed outdoors in their life wandering around the woods/desert/mountain with zero experience and zero gear and zero understanding that this place can kill them. You don't see as many disappearances in wild areas because people don't go to them unless they have some background knowledge. Whereas you get tour buses full of old folks and suburban families shuttling people into National Parks 365 days a year. If you took the same amount of buffoons and dropped them in the actual wilderness the disappearances would be significantly higher than at the parks. Use your brain.

[tigerbasilisk]

This game is set in 2008.

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“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

[tigerbasilisk]

This is a tangent for sure, but I have always wondered what Ganondorf would really be like as a king. The only times we see him in power, the world is in a state of apocalypse, but I don't really think that should be the case. Ganondorf is just a regular person, albeit highly unscrupulous. He is motivated by greed, but also the prosperity of his people. I can accept a kingdom ruled by him being authoritarian or economically weak, but it seems far-fetched that he would just kill everyone and burn the lands.

[tigerbasilisk]

Batman will say "This ends now." and then softly drop the Joker in a playpen until next time.

This is about a comic I read today where yet again I could not take Batman seriously.

[tigerbasilisk]

a treasure found antiquing today

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[tigerbasilisk]

Fatal Fury: City of the Wolves

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"Proposition" is a real word I use regularly, and every time I do, I feel like I am rolling the dice on whether the listener will react correctly.

[tigerbasilisk]

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

[tigerbasilisk]

This is a big deal. A step forward in understanding of marine life. Since this is a juvenile, the team should be able to observe a good portion of the colossal squid's life cycle from studying this individual. Never thought I would see the day.

Here is the description of the video for convenience.

This is the first confirmed live observation of the colossal squid, Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, at depth in its natural habitat. Pilots filmed the young cephalopod at about 600m near the South Sandwich Islands as the Schmidt Ocean Institute’s remotely operated vehicle SuBastian descended through the water column on a dive aiming to discover new marine species, in partnership with Ocean Census during the South Sandwich Islands expedition.

Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni was formally described and named 100 years ago, in 1925, based on two partial specimens found in the stomach of a sperm whale near the South Shetland Islands. However, no one has ever captured footage of a living colossal squid until now.

Seabirds, marine mammals, and fishes prey on juvenile colossal squid. At full size, their only known predators are sperm whales and sleeper sharks, although remains of large adults have also been found in toothfish stomachs, likely scavenged. Experts believe colossal squid may reach total lengths of 6 to 7 meters and weigh about as much as a small Italian Fiat at more than 500 kilograms, making them the heaviest known invertebrate.

Dr Kat Bolstad, associate professor and lab leader of the Auckland University of Technology Lab, NZ, worked with glass squid expert Dr. Aaron Evans to help confirm this observation, and she narrated this video.

www.schmidtoceaninstitute.org

www.oceancensus.org

Associate Professor Dr Kat Bolstad, lab leader of the AUT Lab for Cephalopod Ecology & Systematics

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

[tigerbasilisk]

The transience of spaces like these makes me feel a certain way.

Now that I have started watching House, I understand why the girlies go crazy shipping him with Wilson. There's already so much.

He is the only completely positive relationship House has.

He is able to explain House's thinking to the other characters.

He leaves his wife alone on Christmas to go hang out with House.

But most importantly,

He has no reason to be around. The main cast of the show consists of House, his three lackeys who are professionally bound to him, his boss who constantly is in conflict with him, and Wilson. Wilson is just another doctor at the hospital and generally does not work with House. He's purely in it for the love of the man.

In the context of comparing House to Sherlock, the role of Watson appears to have been split into several characters. Wilson gets the lion's share of the emotional part of Watson. He is the one friend that the quirky main character has.

Looking up the release dates of House as well as certain other shows, I must say it is a little surprising that House, M.D. never formally became a part of Superwholock.

[tigerbasilisk]

Now that I have started watching House, I understand why the girlies go crazy shipping him with Wilson. There's already so much.

He is the only completely positive relationship House has.

He is able to explain House's thinking to the other characters.

He leaves his wife alone on Christmas to go hang out with House.

But most importantly,

He has no reason to be around. The main cast of the show consists of House, his three lackeys who are professionally bound to him, his boss who constantly is in conflict with him, and Wilson. Wilson is just another doctor at the hospital and generally does not work with House. He's purely in it for the love of the man.

In the context of comparing House to Sherlock, the role of Watson appears to have been split into several characters. Wilson gets the lion's share of the emotional part of Watson. He is the one friend that the quirky main character has.

Looking up the release dates of House as well as certain other shows, I must say it is a little surprising that House, M.D. never formally became a part of Superwholock.

[tigerbasilisk]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.