b-ryj - Tumblr blog

[b-ryj]

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he wears his shirt with the first few button undone. his eyes are like honey oozing down straight from heaven. his smile is as bright as daylight. the mole over his lips begging me to put my lips to it. oh how good his voice would sound whispering in my ears, whispering my name, whispering I love you's .

i want his hand holding my face, i don't care if it's calloused or as soft as a feather. i want his lips on my neck. i want him to see himself in my eyes. i want his hand sliding through my hair. i want my hand on his shoulder. i want him in my house. i want him on my couch. i want him. i want him. i want it all to be mine.

dear lord, let him love me like he almost did once, when he stayed out to watch me get in, when he looked into my eyes with nothing but love and care. let me have him once, even if it would be the death of me. let me have him once, i'll be content, i'll be happy. i'll be happy.

[b-ryj]

things i couldn't say #2

i was a child

[b-ryj]

If reincarnation is real I wonder how many people stare at their own art in museums, listen to their own music they made in a different life and read books they don't remember writing

[b-ryj]

[b-ryj]

all the things i want to say are giving me a bellyache

[b-ryj]

things i couldn't say #1

would you still be proud of me if i fail over and over again?

[b-ryj]

would god be able to answer me?

[b-ryj]

somedays my heartbeat is all i know of myself

[b-ryj]

the korean word for anger is 화 (hwa) and the word for artist (painter) is 화가 (hwa-ga).

once again i am left wondering what is an artist without their anger. what is art if not anger wrapped in colours that are easy on the eye?

what is anger if not art?

[b-ryj]

a part of me is stuck in the past

and most days, it's all of me

[b-ryj]

so existential crisis is real after all...,

[b-ryj]

From Two poems by Mahmoud Darwish

[b-ryj]

he wears his shirt with the first few button undone. his eyes are like honey oozing down straight from heaven. his smile is as bright as daylight. the mole over his lips begging me to put my lips to it. oh how good his voice would sound whispering in my ears, whispering my name, whispering I love you's .

i want his hand holding my face, i don't care if it's calloused or as soft as a feather. i want his lips on my neck. i want him to see himself in my eyes. i want his hand sliding through my hair. i want my hand on his shoulder. i want him in my house. i want him on my couch. i want him. i want him. i want it all to be mine.

dear lord, let him love me like he almost did once, when he stayed out to watch me get in, when he looked into my eyes with nothing but love and care. let me have him once, even if it would be the death of me. let me have him once, i'll be content, i'll be happy. i'll be happy.

[b-ryj]

Icarus, oh, Icarus!

Could you tell me what to do?

They make fun of you here,

They call you a fool.

But I think I understand you,

I know what you wanted to do.

They tell you to aim for the stars,

They tell you to fly.

But do they forget what flies may fall?

Do they forget that stars burn

And how far could one go for dreams, for perfection?

But you, my love

Just wanted to be free,

Just wanted to taste your dream.

So now there's beauty in your rise and fall.

For you might have fallen but you touched the sky

And for the first time, the sun smiled.

And wouldn't I kiss the sun too, if I could?

[b-ryj]

[b-ryj]

a murakami protagonist day*

do the dishes

make your bed

read a book in silence

get the groceries for one or two meals

have a beer

go for a walk

(get a phone call from nobody)

follow a cat through the neighborhood

do the laundry

change your sheets

sit on your couch and listen to a full album

take a shower

sit on your balcony at night

go to a diner alone and have a bite to eat

watch people from afar

take a train to the next town

call an old friend

clean your room or house

take a nap

have a cup of tea

paint or draw

air out the room

stretch or do yoga

(* murakami’s descriptions of his protagonists’ day to day lives always seem so mundane and calming to me that I thought I’d list a few activities that fit right in and might calm me, too.)

[b-ryj]

daddy

daddy, daddy you won't let me breathe

you won't let me take off these invisible high heels

neither let me wear the real ones

daddy, your hometown is a mess

everyone hates everyone

and you hate your brothers too

but want me to love everyone

daddy, daddy you won't let me breathe

you're a narcissist

you make sure I don't feel good

when i look in the mirror

daddy, you need the upper hand even when you sleep

you won't let a soul talk

unless it's something you believe

daddy, daddy you won't let me breathe

you hate the way I dress

and the way I address those around me

so I guess you might just hate me

daddy, i've got your jaw and you mind

and i let men who i don't like love me

because you won't

but i hate me if I hate you

and somehow I just can't love you anymore

so I guess that's just what i'll do

daddy,daddy i'm through