casualhideoutkitten

[casualhideoutkitten]

“Don’t be afraid, just start the tape.”

another iwtv fanart cause armand has been living in my brain rent free !! I hope that the gremlin content is at your taste….

[casualhideoutkitten]

Grant me inspiration oh duck of wonder

[casualhideoutkitten]

It's Hard to be the Bard

He sits, hunched over an old wooden desk that bears the marks of countless frustrations

Hands shaking as he forces them to write tale after tale, but alas, his ministrations

Prove fruitless. The sweet intoxicating cries of fans only fuel his desperation

As he adds blood to his ink, weakening himself in the name of creation.

Another stack of scrolls crumbles with a disappointed sigh

It is barely acknowledged, even though each letter carries the cry

Of a person whose story longs to be told, who will be left to wonder why

The one who claimed would help them, didn't ever seem to try.

He begins to write once more, filling pages with rhyme and reason

Tales of strength, feats of bravery, tragic deaths and sinful treason

The glamour falls away as he views his work, written to please them:

Those who adore him, if only for a season

Of course this life is a gift, one he'd never trade away

That's why he bleeds himself dry, simply trying to stay

In the world in which he is worshipped, day after day

The world where, for his shows, people are willing to pay.

So there he sits, alone, at a desk in a room

The curtains drawn as the dust settles in the gloom

The doubt slowly growing begins to doom

His attempts to make sense of this tangled loom

Writing is now a battle, fighting for ideas to link

His mind clashes alongside swords of ink

The cocktail of merit is his choice of drink

Yet there is no telling what they truly think

It may be a dream come true but gods it's fucking hard

It's hard, it's hard, it's hard, to be the bard

[casualhideoutkitten]

Sometimes, when everything gets a little much, I forget how much I love you

And this doesn't upset me, although I know it could

What this really means is that every time I am reminded of us

By a song, a thought, a text, a reel, a whisper of the wind

My world explodes

All troubles melt away as I'm carried away on torrents of melodies, love songs washing over me, tumbling in a whirlpool until I wash up on your beach, a sodden lovesick fool.

Honey

[casualhideoutkitten]

People classes friends noise cars classes people talk friends stress flirt rush school loud

And then

you

You're the calm at the end of a piece of music; and the euphoria when a chorus hits in one's soul

You're the sheer joy of watching fireworks explode while my heart mimics the motion as you hold me close

You're the burning fire of autumn leaves as the trees shed skins of their previous selves; time healing wounds from long ago

You're the peace of a Sunday morning, and the jubilance of a Saturday night; the comfort of a random Tuesday in which you can finally hug me tight

And, you're mine

Other people's too, of course

But knowing that even a small part of this beauty that resides in your every action is mine to love?

Well, I now understand what Belinda Carlisle meant when she sang 'heaven is a place on earth'...

Honey

[casualhideoutkitten]

ok, since my last notes post did so well

if this gets 10,000 notes by september, i’ll come out as trans to my parents and ask to get my name changed

ive always promised myself i would come out as trans by then, but im honestly just too scared to

dont worry, they are accepting, they treat my trans friend amazingly and even when he isnt around correct themselves when they accidentally misgender him

im sorry if this sounds like im milking for notes, thats not at all my intention here

[casualhideoutkitten]

I apologize for calling Macklemore cringe

[casualhideoutkitten]

Ocean of Infatuation

Infatuation

Noun

'a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something'

I made a paper crane every time I thought of you and soon I had a small army, fit to conquer the world with gentle wingbeats and soft birdsong.

I made a folder of reels I wanted to send you, and now it's the biggest I've ever made, filled to the bursting with love confessions and silly jokes.

I made a joke about falling fast, for someone I met a few days ago, and it became my reality, my feelings spilling over, threatening to drown me.

I don't know how to tell you I'd gladly float away in this ocean.

For it is an ocean, not a lake.

It's dangerous, and stings with the bitter taste of salt.

One can trust the ocean with their life and they still might perish in its clutches.

You told me you could never love me,

Your words stinging like the salt in my eyes,

But my infatuation draws me back to the water,

And the swimmer inside of me will never leave, no matter how much she tries.

Homewrecker

[casualhideoutkitten]

Eaten Alive

There's that emptiness in my chest again.

It threatens to swallow me whole,

its gaping jaws eating me from the inside,

until I am nothing but a shell of a human.

I will shatter if you talk to me now.

Why I do this to myself I don't know.

Why I twist myself in knots, convincing myself you don't care, that you never did.

I'm being eaten alive by my own demons, and all because

I love you.

[casualhideoutkitten]

Dandelions in the Wind

Nebula

My galaxy, my world

A world encompassed in something as small as a person

Someone as fragile and beautiful as a dandelion in the wind

I'm scared to hold this dandelion, the chaotic storm of my flaws threatening to blow it away

I put up barriers and build a shelter of perfection around it,

but it's only a matter of time before the wind destroys our dandelion.

These fleeting moments of beauty won't last forever, and I'll take them with me to the grave.

Nebula

[casualhideoutkitten]

A Force of Nature

I want to surrender myself to you like I do to the waves.

I want to feel the same level of trust as I do in the current.

I want to let that current sweep me away, off my feet.

I want to give in to the sea foam.

Even when forming the ocean into rivers and channels, it's still in charge.

You, my ocean, my galaxy, will always have that over me.

The amount of power you hold is one only deserving of a force of nature.

Please, don't abuse this power darling.

Nebula

[casualhideoutkitten]

There's a hole in my chest

The empty spaces whisper,

You don't love me

You don't love me

You don't love me

I know you do, you've told me so

I try my hardest but I just can't know

I try but there's still no letting go

Of the hole

The hole where my heart should be.

Nebula

[casualhideoutkitten]

Desire is a bitch

Sofia Isella is right, desire is a bitch

From where does the bitch come from is the question

Inside us

Around us

Through us

It courses through us

Desire rules our lives, turning tables and changing minds

Breaking hearts, breaking time

Making dreams, breaking mine

Desire is a bitch

Like a dog, desire comes in many forms and, like a dog, it will make you fall in love with it

A lifetime companion or a source of heartbreak

How much are you willing to acknowledge what's at stake

When desire is a bitch

Written as a response to confession by Sofia Isella

[casualhideoutkitten]

Sweet Fantasies

I lean back against the shelves,

looking up at you.

You're leaning closer

and looking at me too.

Your hands are on my waist,

brushing my neck, in my hair.

Something falls to the floor

but in that moment we don't care.

My fingers wander in your hair,

winding into the waves

You pull me in closer

and my heart caves.

Our lips meet, gentle, sweet,

but there it stops.

My imagination dwindles

and the fantasy drops.

Gold

[casualhideoutkitten]

Scaffolding

I love so hard, so much.

I give away the pieces of my heart, more easily than I'd like to admit, letting people see how much I love them.

Now I have yours. It fills the gaps left by the pieces I have lost, shiny, perfect and strange in its loveliness.

"It's not really there" The whispers coil gently at the edges of hearing, reaching into the subconscious.

I know

I know

I know you love me and I think I'm finally accepting that.

Why it's so hard, I don't know, but the pieces of me I have been chipping off are being strengthened by you.

Nebula

[casualhideoutkitten]

A Beautiful Melody

The song loops

Over

Over

Over

Over again

I can't tell where the beginning and the end is anymore.

This song feels like you.

Less than an hour until I see you again.

You're already here though, in the beats of the drums, in the harmonies, in the beauty carried by the music.

You're music, you're art, you're poetry.

You're beautiful.

Gold

[casualhideoutkitten]

Nebula is

Nerdy (although they don't like to show it)

Earnest

Bold

Utterly perfect

Loving

Attentive

Fuck

I don't deserve you Nebula