fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow - Tumblr blog

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

https://readallcomics.com/the-boy-wonder-001-2024/

thank you to this person and one other anon who sent me this y’all are godsends 🩷🩷🩷

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

i desperately need to know where yall are reading this 😩

Jason Todd in The Boy Wonder #2 (2024), art by Juni Ba.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

NEVERMIND LETS GOOOO

ofc now that my day is over and i get to relax ao3 is fucking down 😩

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

ofc now that my day is over and i get to relax ao3 is fucking down 😩

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

no capes au where there’s no capes anywhere and no villains

in which jason doesn’t die but gets into an accident and slips into a coma. when he wakes up he turns to see a newly adopted tim and is like “who tf are you?”

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

You said to send in headcanons so

I feel like Damian would break into Jason’s apartment to ‘borrow’ his books and Jason would pretend not to notice as long as they get returned.

What are your thoughts on that?

yes 🥺 i love a good damian and jason headcanon jason has the best books so why not steal from him 🤷

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

Batfam headcanon for you: Dick's favourite movie is Armageddon because it's a comforting dude-movie about good guys winning, bad guy losing and the 'bad guy' is a giant space rock that gets punched to death by Bruce Willis and I have never met a guy who was less than neutral on Armageddon anyway.

He watches it whenever he has a bad day and sometimes starts crying when the "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" starts up.

i have seen this movie once ages ago but what i remember about it is can definitely see him using it as his comfort film

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

I have this hc that gothamites have a very subtle accent and slightly different slag from the rest of like america or wtv (I'm canadian so) and that's how u can tell that they're from Gotham (aside from the obvious paranoia, desensitization to danger, and clown phobia ofc)

the world building is just mwah *chefs kiss* 👌

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

i have been waiting for this moment my entire life, so here’s some jason hc (sa tw for #12):

1. his scars were not healed by the lazarous put

2. hes the most scarred out of the entire family

3. bros lowkey a bit immortal and somewhat aware of it (he did not let anyone know about that revelation)

4. literally ass at cooking

5. he and dick are each other’s favorites

6. did not tell any one about his all caste training

7. also did not tell any one about the field trip he went on with kyle and donna

8. did not tell any one abt his time with the league of assassins

9. doesnt really tell any oke about anything hes doing or has done tbh (this is important)

10. drops lore like a dad (that is why it is important)

11. i am a “he died at the end of utrh” truther

12. was a sex worker during his time on the streets (just like me frfr,,,)

13. most cautious with his identity (bro had a fuckin bomb in his helmet)

14. also did not tell anyone abt the bomb in his helmet

15. knows quite a few languages

16. he a roma king just like dick

i LOVE these, he and dick so talk shit together and it pisses everyone else off.

and although i am a ‘jason can cook’ stan i love to see some variety ✨

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

i’m bored send me some of your batfam headcanons.

please look at my ask rules before you do any that do not follow them will be deleted.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

love this so much

sibling core is hearing your sibling say something from somewhere in the house and responding.

based on things me and my siblings have said.

————-

tim looking for something in his room: omg am i blind or something??

damian from across the hall: yes!

—-

dick finding something he lost ages ago: where have you been?

jason walking past the door: dead.

dick jumping up: omg jason you scared me!

——

steph stressed out about something: i’m gonna throw myself out of the window!

tim from his bedroom: noo don’t do that you’ll ruin the patio!

steph: oh thanks for caring!

—-

if people like this i’ll add more these are just the only ones i have written down

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

i’ve got enough aches and pains for the whole family i’ll be handing them out like oprah winfrey

fuck it maybe i will project my chronic pain onto the batfamily

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

sibling core is hearing your sibling say something from somewhere in the house and responding.

based on things me and my siblings have said.

————-

tim looking for something in his room: omg am i blind or something??

damian from across the hall: yes!

—-

dick finding something he lost ages ago: where have you been?

jason walking past the door: dead.

dick jumping up: omg jason you scared me!

——

steph stressed out about something: i’m gonna throw myself out of the window!

tim from his bedroom: noo don’t do that you’ll ruin the patio!

steph: oh thanks for caring!

—-

if people like this i’ll add more these are just the only ones i have written down

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.

================================

Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs

Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them

Nightwing: Go right ahead

Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head

Nightwing: sure.

Jason:

Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.

Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-

================================

At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening

Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?

Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!

Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*

Stephanie: Right.. party pooper

Nightwing:

Nightwing: Okay got it.

*heads out*

Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!

Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?

Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-

================================

Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking

Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?

Nightwing: whatever you wanna do

Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this

Nightwing: *hands him knife*

Damian:

Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*

Damian: ..

Nightwing: .? Go on?

Damian *putting it away* : .. no..

================================

It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

Damian always brings disabled/badly hurt/ aggressive animals home without a doubt that the batfam would immediately adopt them and take care of them- growing fond of the strays and loving them.

Why?

They took him in.

He was no better.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

yes yes projection is key

fuck it maybe i will project my chronic pain onto the batfamily

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

Reverse Robins AU where everyone is their canon ages but Bruce gets them backwards

And Sooner, thus smaller

Cass: David Cain makes the mistake of letting Bruce know of Cass. Bruce comes back to Gotham with an infant while David Cain resurfaces years later with a case of broken spine. Alfred is torn between pride in his son and exasperation at his newfound hobby of dressing like a furry. (Cass's first word is "bat")

Damian: Talia looks at Bruce (and his ruthlessness in child protection), likes what she sees, and decides he's her new baby daddy. She then spends the next few years in a push-pull seduction trip with Bruce (consensually, fuck you) while simultaneously building up her power base, weeding out her father's men, and plotting his downfall. However, when she becomes pregnant she vanishes for several months only for a baby to appear in Bruce's bed; swaddled in a beautiful blanket and tucked next to the wickedly sharp knife she murdered her father with. Cass is eight years old.

Tim: Bruce doesn't adopt Dick, he doesn't become Robin, thus Tim never connects crazy acrobatics between circus child and traffic light. He's still a baby stalker with an interest in Gotham's nightlife, but here batman works alone. He eventually figures it out anyway, but not before getting involved in something he really shouldn't have which leads to Bruce looking into the Drakes much sooner. By the time they fly back from wherever the hell they've been three months later, Tim's already living with the Wayne's and Bruce has legal blackmail a mile wide. Nine year old Cass has a new little brother big enough to dance with, One Year Old Damian is decidedly unimpressed as toddlers can be, and Six Year Old Tim is starry-eyed at living with the actual batman.

Jason: is eight years old when one of Batman's rouges explodes the building he lived in with his mother and Willis. (Something that wouldn't have happened if he had another pair of hands to help and distract with a quip and a laugh) Bruce Wayne finds him stealing his converter while visiting the memorial he set up in Park Row for his parents. (Jason doesn't know what this rich idiot with more money than sense wants with him; probably as a "playmate" toy for his three spoiled brats no doubt, but at least he'll be off the streets.) One kidnapping later and Jason is of the firm belief that he's still a rich idiot with more money than sense, because all his sense was beaten out of him in that fursuit. Jason turns nine with a seven year old stalker, a two year old demon, and a ten year old shadow as siblings and he's never been happier.

Dick: Oof. The scales of fate aren't fucked with lightly. His future siblings may have happier lives, but only because he suffered instead. Here's the deal: As in canon, the Graysons came to Gotham and died when Dick was nine. However, Bruce never went. Cass was sick, so Bruce never saw the Graysons fall. The Court of Owls did. And the rest, they say, is history. (Until the Kidnapping of Jason Todd, "Street trash" sullying the Wayne name, cracks the Court's disguise and Batman finds an immortal sixteen year old Assassin in the depths of Gotham's oldest cult.