mimisfortress

[mimisfortress]

Things I like to do Sometimes

°ʚ🎀ɞ°.

Life is a prick, but I manage to pull through.

I like to bring a Portable CD player to school

• Owning physical copies of music feels super meaningful and personal

• You can decorate it with bling and stickers

• Music in class with less risk of teachers freaking out about phone policies + they'll prolly be more flexible and maybe even amused that you brought a CD player

• I think some of us may agree that sometimes it feels good to not use your phone and find alternatives for entertainment

I Bring a Personal Journal to School Sometimes

• This is probably common practice for many, but sometimes I just don't have to time to journal or don't have the room in my bag

• When I DO bring my journal, I feel good about myself and feel like I have a safe space to record my feelings or anything of that sort

I like to Draw Sigils on Stuff

• Makes things feel a lot more personalized and "me" because the sigils I draw on things are ones that I tend to create myself. It's just nice to see them because they remind you of your wishes and what you want most. To me, they are sort of like a slightly more discreet signature.

• Easy & practical way to imbue wish-making magic into schtuff. It's such an easy way to move you forward in granting your own wishes and making your desires come into fruition. You can incorporate sigils into just about anything-- you've just got to get creative.

Doll Collecting

• Keeps those damn burglars away, I bet.

• Unnerving at first, but it just took a bit of changing my mindset to fully eradicate my fear of dolls (especially at night). I began collecting porcelain dolls at 8 or 9, despite my slight fear of them. I was curious about them and also was hoping to make a ghost friend, haha.

• They're rather cheap and easy to find at second-hand stores! Same with tea cups & tea pots. Porcelain stuff reigns superior.

• They make people uncomfortable. This gives you a degree of power, LOL. Even I, a doll obsessed individual, used to experience discomfort in the presence of an old doll. I wonder if maybe this is evolutionary or something. Uncanny valley, most likely. If you're getting bullied at school or sumthin, I highly recommend getting yourself an army of dolls.

• Good company!

Rock & Plant Collecting

• I'm infatuated with gemstones. I love shiny objects.

• Download some identification apps! If you are curious about the world, you will NOT regret it. You'll get the hang of that stuff sooner than you know and you will impress tf outta people. Very useful 4 witches.

• Tea, jewelry, pressed flowers, etc. all that natural Earth-y stuff will accumulate to the point you could probably do all sorts of stuff with it. Get creative.

Scrapbooking

• Plane tickets, Magazines, all sort of paper things that you are hesitant to get rid of-- scrapbooking is the cure.

• I for some reason love looking at beautiful messes of stuff.

[mimisfortress]

My Packing List 4 Tmrw 🎀~.°•`

Here is my packing list for my high school choir's flight to L.A. tomorrow

Any liquids must be 3.4 oz or less & pack light.

Clothes -

• Swimsuit

• School & Choir Uniform Shirt

• Denim skirt or pants (I don't own any jeans so I may have to borrow from my brothers...)

• Princess Attire for Deeznutsland (Disneyland)

• Something mayhaps equally as princess-y for day 2

• 3 changes of pajamas

• Undergarments for each outfit

• My own personal theme for this trip's casual clothes for going out: Practical Magic (movie) or Horror game protagonist girl. That's how it's feelin' this time around. OOH, or a socialite type of feeling. I haven't picked outfits yet so we'll see what I'm really feeling like wearing this vacation.

• Epic cargo jacket that never fails me, equipped with pockets that are like voids. They hold more than my purse can. These will be for the Horror Game Protag outfits (gotta have that expansive inventory)

• Jewelry

Toiletries -

• Feminine hygiene products

• Face wash & stuff that'll remove my makeup

• Moisterizer

• Chapstick/Lip smacker/Lip Balm

• Fake eyelashes

• Eyeshadow palettes

• Highlighter

• Primer

• Foundation

• Deoderant

• Setting Powder

• Eyeliner

• Eyelash curler

• Sponge & Brushes

• Lip products

• Toothbrush

• Toothpaste

• Mascara

• Hairbrush

• Hair curlers & Curling iron

• My precious scented lotion

• Shower stuff

Misc. -

• Phone & Charger

• Books

• Emotional Support Stuffed Animal

• Journal & Pen

• Money

• Headphones

• Meds

• Snacks & Stuff

• ID

For this trip I am hoping to feel like myself. I am going to unwind and spend time with people that enjoy my company. I am going to talk to some princesses and my heart will flutter when I immerse myself into a world of pirates. I will feel comfortable in living life, I will be free once more and I will love the feeling and sensation of being alive. I will rejuvenate my life and feel again.

[mimisfortress]

Diary Thingy #292938

Depression is a wild thing. It really has been screwing with me and I can't tell what is fake and what's real. I've been going to therapy as one would expect, but it's been put on pause because my family is poor. Don't tell my opps, but I'm being beat up by life constantly (not even by life necessarily, but by existence which I guess is the same, but it feels different to me). I'm so sick of going from having a great time to having a terrible time and not being able to "thug things out" like I have always been able to. I hate brain chemicals. I hate the world. I hate the concept of life.

I can't go to friends to talk about it because as much as they care, it feels like there's no use. I feel dull and trapped, but the fluoxetine I take seems to sugarcoat everything and neutralize my emotions. I am so tired, I'm so exhausted, why can't life feel like something?

[mimisfortress]

My Prom Pictures

This year's theme was the Roaring 20s and it was held at a nearby air museum 🌹

It was alright, wish they played some 1920s jazz or something to fit the theme, but it is what it is I guess. I was also excited to see some airplanes but they didn't allow us to see them unfortunately. This saddened me greatly!

I got my tiara at Walmart, I must admit. Walmart tiaras are very beautiful. I got my dress for free at a dress drive and it really feels like this dress was meant to be. It was exactly what I had in mind when searching for a flapper-esque dress.

My friends and I showed up to the dance about an hour early after getting ready together watching Hot Fuzz on our friend's living room TV. We went to Walmart on our way to the venue and made a little charcuterie board with the best Walmart bread we could find. There's a huge field at the venue with picnic tables, so we arrived and had a little picnic and took some pictures at the gazebo. We played in the grass in our fancy clothes (I have grass stains on my dress now but it's my fault, so whatever) and climbed a tree. The dance itself was... alright to say the least. All you do is mingle, take pictures, play some connect 4 and maybe eat some burnt popcorn that they served. It was fun, but I really was looking forward to some airplanes. Oh well.

[mimisfortress]

[mimisfortress]

channeling spirits of dead dollies

[mimisfortress]

I want to hear about other people's thoughts on this game, and perchance even people's experiences with depression. Maybe I can learn a thing or two.

I forget I have tumblr as an outlet to be emotional and what not in times when I just can't bare to console my friends or family.

Has anyone played or watched a playthrough of the Cat Lady (2012)?

I watched a 6 hour playthrough of it after finding out about it simply by chance. I watched an Instagram reel and someone said "the sound effects used remind me of a game called the Cat Lady, lol". I was curious and looked into it. I had gone to the ER the day prior because I felt overwhelmingly suicidal and I was really desperate to inspire myself and give myself some sort of hope. I read the summary for the Cat Lady and the main character, Susan, kills herself but then is revived and she dies over and over again because she's the Cat Lady and has many lives. But it's almost funny because she's made invincible, but she just really wants to die lmao.

I watched the full playthrough of the game and it touched my heart, really. It didn't fix me magically (I wish), but I couldn't BELIEVE how throughout the game, Susan would say depressive thoughts that I've thunk VERBATIM.

[mimisfortress]

Literally how it felt for a while and sometimes still feels.

[mimisfortress]

She's up on Spotify now

Guys I dropped a new song

It's about all the things I vented about in my earliest tumblr posts 💀😭

[mimisfortress]

Me for the past two weeks

[mimisfortress]

Tw: venting & unhappy thoughts

Pretending that I do not want to kms everyday has been getting increasingly harder and harder

I don't think anybody knows because I tell nobody, that is a secret between tumblr and I

Looking the way I want and documenting myself doing interesting things is the only thing keeping me going at this point. Thank god i have REAL friends and a good relationship with my family and spiritual beliefs or else I'd be long gone, i can't even lie. I'm thankful for the things keeping me alive, but I wish I could just "☠️" or something.

I almost wish I didn't have all these things to look forward to. Does anyone ever feel this way? No one to miss me, nothing to lose. I'm just so tired. Everything keeps getting worse and worse and despair is becoming more apparent. I already am in the midst of letting go, surely this isn't another lesson to let go of something that played a key role in helping me let go. I'm not done grieving and it's possible I may need to grieve again. I don't need to learn the same lesson again.

[mimisfortress]

Nosferatu

Me onmw to go watch Nosferatu

[mimisfortress]

Guys I dropped a new song

It's about all the things I vented about in my earliest tumblr posts 💀😭

[mimisfortress]

It's important to put these into practice 🤸

when sad days hit 𓂃⋆.˚

sometimes, when life feels heavy, it’s hard to figure out what to do with yourself. here’s a little list of things that help me feel more grounded on days when everything seems off:

clear your schedule as much as you can. make time for yourself, to breathe, distract yourself, and focus on what brings you a little joy.

step outside for a bit. even if it’s just walking to the store to grab a snack. If going for a walk feels pointless, having a tiny mission (like buying chocolate or gum) can make it feel more doable.

call a friend. if calling feels like too much, text someone you trust. even a small connection can help break the mental loop.

stay warm. I swear, being cold makes everything worse.

try to pinpoint why you’re sad. if there’s no clear reason, that’s okay too, don’t overthink it. sometimes feelings just exist, and that’s okay.

move your body. you don’t have to hit the gym if that feels like too much. a YouTube workout, some yoga, or even just stretching can release some of the tension.

take a shower. clean hair = clean mind. I don’t know why, but when my hair feels dirty, I feel awful.

chill with the caffeine. too much coffee makes me more restless and anxious, so try to swap it for tea or water when you're already feeling down.

get off your phone. do something creative instead, make a collage, bake cookies, experiment with makeup. it’s a nice way to focus on something tactile and rewarding.

find cosy productivity. when I don’t feel like talking to people, I stay home and study or work on small projects. being cosy but productive is satisfying and keeps my mind busy.

keep track of your meals. I lose my appetite when I’m feeling down, so setting reminders to eat something makes a big difference.

sleep, sleep, sleep. honestly, sleep fixes more than you’d think. Give yourself permission to rest.

be gentle with yourself, and remember, it’s okay to take things one tiny step at a time. you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. <3

my insta -> @ malusokay

[mimisfortress]

🍀Even More Cool Gem & Crystal Facts🌷

All images are from the Crystal & Gem Eyewitness book <3

[mimisfortress]

🍀Cool Gem & Crystal Facts for Witchcraft, History and Geology Lovers alike🌷

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All Images are from the Crystal & Gem Eyewitness Book

[mimisfortress]

Stolen from @hui_noe (Kanoe) on pinterest and sharing bcuz I agree with this philosophy.