notnorth

[notnorth]

I don’t know where this will go.

I don’t know where this will go,

However I know where this will end.

I can no longer pour from a cup that is empty,

So I take back my hand, and catch my final tears to keep.

This is my expression, and my very last emotion.

You bled me dry of love,

Now I save back my sorrow.

Turn water into wine;

Drunk on life.

I’m ready to close this chapter.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

Sleepless Nights.

Sleepless nights, staring at a phone,

Heart is hurting, feeling so alone.

I thought I was ok, but there’s this darkness inside,

So many questions, all because you lied.

Now I lay here awake, watching time pass,

Sleepless nights, my soul dies fast.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

Sharing Showers

I love sharing showers with you,

Watching the water trickle from your hair, down your face.

A place where it’s just us, and my world finally feels safe.

I love sharing a bed with you,

Hearing your heart beat, as I lay my head on your chest.

A moment in time, when I feel closest to you.

I love sharing a life with you,

Filled with laughter, freedom, and my new found favourite memories.

It all makes sense now; the universe was just waiting for you to find me.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

Garfield.

24 hours, and my life had changed,

My life in bags, escaping from his cage.

In the garden of Eden, I sat and I cried,

If this is freedom, why am I afraid?

Four paws bundled to me, “I’m yours for today”.

Today turned into tomorrow, yet tomorrow never came.

In the day we did share, the air that I still breathe,

Through the night you were there, cuddling me you would not leave.

Losing you, was losing me,

But we were on borrowed time.

You were Earths living angel,

I now hope peace, you will find.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

The World We Live In.

Life is beautiful.

Who was I to know that I had spent the last 25 years with my eyes wide shut?

The clouds appear more heavenly than I remember.

The sunrise a little more breathtaking;

And the air is easier to breathe through my lungs.

This is the world we live in,

And it’s the version I want to carry on experiencing.

From,

SCN

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[notnorth]

Thank you @m00ncrab and everyone who got me to 50 reblogs!

My Kind Of Love

I want a love where the door is held open for me.

The love that pulls out chairs, and strokes my head when I’m unwell.

The type of love that is kind, peaceful and soft.

The kind of love that makes me feel safe, and I’d never dare flinch.

I want someone who will hold my hand and kiss my forehead in a crowd full of people.

Where I never have to second guess if their intentions are pure and genuine.

That love where we build empires together, and support each other to grow.

Choosing our favourite pumpkins in a patch, to carve that same very night.

Where we cuddle up in front of the fire on a cold Christmas morning.

We dance and sing in the rain, to share that romance-movie passionate kiss.

Where we book a flight on a whim, because anywhere together is better than not having each other at all.

I want to receive my kind of love.

From,

SCN.

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[notnorth]

The Things We Learn.

The things we learn ‘after’,

are what we wish we knew then.

After you, there is laughter in my lungs again,

I feel a peace I forgot ever existed.

I can feel the sun on my skin, and the winter’s rain roll down my face.

I walk with my head high, and a spring in my step.

I feel happy,

free,

alive.

I released myself from the devils shackles,

And now soar with the angels.

I look at myself in the mirror once more:

“Hello again, old friend.”

From, SCN.

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[notnorth]

I Wish.

I wish someone would hug me,

Hold me tight and tell me everything is going to be ok.

I wish somebody would give me all of the love I give to others.

I wish that fairytales were true,

And the hero’s always win.

I wish that I could feel the rain on my skin when the heavens open above.

I wish that I could sleep for 8 hours without as much as a nightmare.

I wish I could be healed.

I wish I wasn’t alone.

I wish I was happy.

From,

SCN

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[notnorth]

What is love?

Love is…

Texting I miss you out of the

blue,

Drive home safe,

This song reminded me of you,

Your eyes are my favourite shade of

blue,

Have you eaten

today?

Are you ok, you've been quiet?

Not letting go of the hug first, A forehead kiss full of comfort,

Rubbing my cold feet on you in bed to keep warm,

Squeezing your hand

a little tighter

at a jump scare in a film, Letting you eat the last chocolate...

What is love?

Love is more than just

'I love you'

It's everything in between.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

My Kind Of Love

I want a love where the door is held open for me.

The love that pulls out chairs, and strokes my head when I’m unwell.

The type of love that is kind, peaceful and soft.

The kind of love that makes me feel safe, and I’d never dare flinch.

I want someone who will hold my hand and kiss my forehead in a crowd full of people.

Where I never have to second guess if their intentions are pure and genuine.

That love where we build empires together, and support each other to grow.

Choosing our favourite pumpkins in a patch, to carve that same very night.

Where we cuddle up in front of the fire on a cold Christmas morning.

We dance and sing in the rain, to share that romance-movie passionate kiss.

Where we book a flight on a whim, because anywhere together is better than not having each other at all.

I want to receive my kind of love.

From,

SCN.

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[notnorth]

I Lost My Life

I lost my life because of you.

My home, my family, my money, and worst of all: me.

I now find myself reliving those moments every day.

Unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to move-

Flashing back to every evil thing you did.

Not just to me, but to her, to them, and everyone else.

Yet I sit perfectly still as a Pandora’s box, full of your secrets and calculated abuse.

You live on as the man who sells dreams, that always turn into nightmares..

And I exist here as your collateral damage, and injured bird with her wings clipped.

I can’t do this anymore.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

Start Over Again.

How many times do I have to start over again because of you?

How much more money do I have to lose?

How many times do I have to pack and unpack my whole life again because of your abuse?

Only this time, I do this on my own.

I find myself whisked away in mere hours to a women’s refuge.

I never envisioned this at 24 years old,

Yet then again, I never envision to go through the deep pits of hell you drag me through.

Is this a new beginning? Or is it just simply the end.

From, SCN

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[notnorth]

Can I see your poetry?

You never asked to see my poetry.

Who knew that would be the realisation to seal our fate.

You didn’t care enough to listen to my souls truest emotions..

Maybe if you did, you’d have realised long before it was too late.

All the signs, all the trauma, and all of the pain were written on these blank pages…

But you never asked to see my poetry,

And I see now, that you never will.

From,

SCN

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[notnorth]

One Too Many.

Every time I hear that tone in your voice, I know you’ve had one too many..

But one too many leads to way too much,

And way too much has led to me being hurt.

The only hands I thought I’d bare, were with love,

Yet somehow you hurt me in the name of love.

So now with every tipple and every curl in your voice, I wonder..

Will we be adding to my long list of traumas, that you so love to update.

I find myself realising, you can’t ‘cross the line’ when you don’t seem to have one.

So where and when does this end?

From,

SCN

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[notnorth]

Into Paradise

Today I find myself humbled by the fragility of life.

Grief surrounds my home and of those I love.

It’s said that grief is all of our love that’s left unspent,

And oh was there so much more to give you.

An angel on Earth now reclaimed by Heaven,

Into paradise may you lay at rest, at peace, and in ever-true happiness.

You are missed dearly, loved unconditionally, and remembered eternally.

From, SCN.

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[notnorth]

One.

You were the one person who just got it, got me, got us.

One year on from a part of me dying with you.

One year older than you, I now find myself,

One last moment I wish I could’ve had.

‘One day we’ll meet for those bottles of wine’,

One last conversation we never realised we had,

One final ‘I love u’ and mutual understanding,

One last breath.. Yet I thought it would have been mine.

One.

You were the one.

The one that lived in sync with me.

Together, we were one whole.

From,

SCN.

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[notnorth]

Adrenaline

They say that anxiety and excitement are the same feeling, interpreted differently.

Adrenaline pumped around by your fluttering heart,

Clammy palms, shaky breath, and unstable hands..

So I try and trick myself into believing that this is happy, this is good, this is energy..

Yet my energy is floored,

Like my flawed perception of reality.

Rose tinted glasses, turning a blind eye to the suffering.

Suffer in silence, until the quiet is deafening.

Borderline personality disorder,

More like I’m being out of order.

Out of the ordinary of the mundane lives of the slow and steady.

Unconditional love is the killer,

Of the person I no longer recognise in this broken mirror.

A carcass of who once was, devoured by the vultures who will then send you above.

Above and beyond your limit of capability, there’s no escape to tranquility,

Yet we are preached that heaven is a destiny.

So why are we condemned to want to fly with the angels,

When our wings were cut by the devil dressed as our saviour.

From

SCN

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