#npdawareness

[empath-abuse-awareness]

A disorder is not abusive you’d never say it for any other disorder why the fuck are you saying it about personality disorders and psychotic disorders

[clusterrune]

Narc Supply

a list of things that could be a narc supply! things pw npd find give them a narc high.

explaining a narc supply - masterpost - compliment generator

Personalized Praise

compliments that are personal to the person theyre directed towards

compliments that include facts or interests

compliments that are more than just the generic "i like (your appearance)"

praises about a persons skillset, created content, something they put even the slightest effort into

praises for help of any kind

complimenting something theyre good at and/or passionate about

praises for being knowledgeable about a topic

these can be very different depending on the person, some like the usual "good job im proud of you" and some prefer very high title praises like "youre a god/royal!"

Attachment / Emotional Feedback

some gain a high when they get certain reactions out of people

hate asks, love confessions

when someone has some sort of feelings towards them it helps them feel wanted and/or at the center of someones focus/attention

some prefer positive over negative feedback, some see negative feedback like hate mail as a sign they've reached popularity of some sort, some are neutral.

some narcs find people gaining an attachment to them as a supply

Break The Record

some narcs see reaching a goal as a supply

this can be reaching a new high score on a came

beating their own records

or beating other people's scores

getting ahead in a competition, even if it wasnt a competition to begin with, beating that goal they set can give them a high

Comforted

some might look for comfort media

listening to music or watching something they find comfort in

art or fanart they find comforting

comfort characters

all can help recover from a crash in a soothing way.

Perceive Me

people telling them how theyre perceived as an individual

especially if its in detail and can contain praise

knowing how one is perceived either by strangers or those theyre close with, can be someones supply

a narc supply can be anything, ranging from anonymous hate to being told someone's proud of you, to being given a little affection and even something akin to being worshiped or feared and it can be more than one of these at a time.

feel free to share any resources, tips or anything that works for you that i have not yet listed!

[ray-of-melancholy]

Its "mental health matters" until someone has a trauma response that's not disordered in a way you like to romanticize

-🕊

[npders]

believing in narcissistic abuse is ableist and hurtful as hell because it demonizes a personality disorder caused by trauma.

believing in narcissistic abuse is ableist and hurtful as hell because it demonizes a personality disorder caused by trauma.

believing in narcissistic abuse is ableist and hurtful as hell because it demonizes a personality disorder caused by trauma.

[thelonelyelysium]

I wish anyone who uses the term “narc abuse” “narcissistic abuse” a very bad holidays and I hope your tree burns for you being ableist. And if you don’t celebrate Christmas I hope your oven catches fire like in the sims

[jewishfagdyke]

I'm sorry but if you use the term narc abuse, you're ableist. That does not exist. That's just normal abuse. By using the term narc abuse you're reinforcing the stigma that all people with npd are inherently abusive. You do the same thing when you use narcissist as an insult. Someone having npd doesn't make them a bad person and some of you need to realize that. You can understand why calling a Schizophrenic person crazy for having Schizophrenia is offensive right??? So why is it okay to call people with npd abusers. It's so fucking wild how you people treat those with cluster b disorders.

[lifewithnpd]

something i want to make very clear: i do not enjoy being a narcissist. i do not want to be a narcissist. it does not bring me joy to hurt others. i do everything in my power to avoid doing so. i am not an abuser. i am an abuse victim. i will never abuse someone. if i fuck up, i apologise for my mistakes. like a decent human being does. some people clearly can't get their heads around the fact that npd is a DISORDER and not just a thing you choose to have, that makes your life better or because you enjoy hurting people.

i was horrifically abused. i was devalued, over and over and over again. i learnt to protect myself, as a child, by believing in my own self importance. that's literally it. i learnt to survive by believing i was greater than everyone around me, because if i was greater, then maybe i wouldn't be abused. for fuck's sake, guys. get a fucking grip, please.

i'm not saying you weren't abused. ofc i'm not. and i'm not invalidating your trauma. all i'm saying is, have a bit of compassion, for the kids that were abused just like you. just because you developed cptsd (which i also have) instead of npd, doesn't make you magically better than me, or a better survivor, or kinder or in any way stronger. likewise, me having npd doesn't make me an abuser, or magically weaker than you, or sitting there plotting every empath's demise.

so, if you're one of those people who talks about narcissistic abuse, please: just have a think. not all people with npd are the same. and not all of us are abusers. tarring us all with the same brush is damaging to trauma survivor community- because the majority of people with npd are trauma survivors.

[the-npd-culture-is]

npd culture is auugegaryegahwjrhe jraeyghehrjeyaurejr hghhguhewuhrehr 😭😭 ok. im good now

.

[doomsdayradio]

do you ever wonder how many people who got sucked into narc abuse communities who were raised by "narcissistic" (abusive/toxic) parents actually have npd? npd is literally a trauma disorder 99% of the time, theres an extremely likely chance some of these people have npd but have been convinced they couldnt possibly because "if you think youre a narcissist, thats proof you arent." and obviously having npd/being a narcissist is a death sentence that means youre abusive /s. feels kinda anti-recovery ngl. 💀

[scumbagsys]

npd butch flag !

format inspired by @gendertreyf 's butch flag & colors from @npdsafe 's npd awareness flag

i made this in a rush so it's not the best but im still pretty proud of it

IMAGE ID: The flag is rectangular and has 7 stripes that are, in order: merlot brown, orange, light yellow, an even lighter yellow stripe, bigger than the others, lily purple, greyish lavender purple, darker purple. END OF ID.

img id & alt text by @valeiroth

[empath-abuse-awareness]

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful, they deserve to be proud for all that they have survived especially with such a distressing disorder

[clusterrune]

npd centered/safe blogs

[npd scentered/safe blogs]

active

@ndcultureis

@narcissisticpdcultureis

@enigma-in-reality

@loverofmirage

@npdemu

@npd--bakugou

@selfdxculture (last posted sept.)

@yourlocalnpd (last posted sept.)

@fixingantinpdableism (last posted aug.)

@narcissist-hoarding (our term hoard blog)

@npdfavs

@prideisforeveryonebutcops

@a-sip-of-milo

@narc0path

@nicepersondisorder

@edrecovery-space (we have not posted in a while but are still active)

@fantasy-store

@cpunkwitch

@your-fave-is-crippled

@vineyard-edits

@archival-arrival

@ego-est-ignis

@objectumluv

@butchcoining

@narcissism-awareness (last posted may)

@mischiefmanifold

@npders (last posted aug.)

@queersrus

@apparentlysubhuman

@sapphic-horror

@your-npd-meme-plug (last posted july)

@puffl3m0n / @acetrappolaswife

@pyrocultureis

@hauntedselves

@empath-abuse-awareness

@citrine-rabbit

@narcissists-true-crime (last posted nov)

@kodiescove

@foolishnpd

@nahmanidontwantto

@alphabet-mafia-collective

@duckduckgoose-exe

@npd-haver

@zombie-dyke

@indifferentvincent

archives

@npdarchive

@npddoll

[inactive blogs moved to new list] here(link)

if any blogs would like to be added or removed please let us know! same goes for any blogs you may have/know that arent on the list and you think should be added.

does not have to be a blog specifically for npd content but at least safe for those with npd.

i would also prefer to include blogs that are screen reader and dyslexic friendly. ie no non-sans serif fonts or coloured text and/or at least includes plane text. as well as blogs that are pro-(researched) selfdx.

[aspd, bpd and hpd bloglists coming soon]

id's in alt text.

[ray-of-melancholy]

I want to like r/cptsd and r/cptsdmemes but God they are so ablist to people like me. I'm sick of not being welcomed in spaces that fit me and that by all means I should belong in because of my disorder actually, like sorry my trauma didn't form in the nicely packaged way you wanted it to, im not happy about it either.

[npders]

i don't know what your abuser did to you, but they are not a narcissist. narcissism did not abuse you. i did not abuse you. i did not and i do not want to. i don't even know who you are, and you probably don't know anyone wNPD. however, i know your story. i've listened to it and i hear you. i hear you and i see you. you do not deserve what you are going through, but i do not deserve your hate speech either.

[chaos-in-one]

Getting blocked immediately after pointing out how saying it's abusive for people to be upset that their very existence is being demonized in spaces supposedly for trauma victims is straight up victim blaming is so funny LOL

Like way to show you don't give a flying fuck about what trauma victims have to say the second we have a disorder that isn't palatable and don't let ourselves get walked all over for it

[yunis-speaks]

The Conversation Surrounding Narcissism and "Narcissistic Abuse"

I think the first question to ask ourselves here would be "what is narcissistic abuse?" What constitutes that specific type of abuse? In which the answer we usually get is: controlling behaviour, uneven power dynamics, blame shifting, guilting, gaslighting, rejection and degradation and occasionally some aspects of physical abuse. This is where we go, "but are those exclusive to 'narcissistic abuse'?" In which the answer is a simple no. So let's unpack that, why do we use the term "narcissistic abuse"? What does it imply?

The usage of the term narcissistic abuse has many reasons, but one of the most prominent and prevalent ones is 'othering'. If abuse is inherent to narcissists, then we can't possibly be abusers — and any 'toxic' traits we may have in regards to how we deal with relationships (say, being overly dismissive) can be ignored, because we're not narcissists and therefore not abusers and cannot hold what we label "narcissistic traits" that would be indicative to abuse.

Another is that by othering the narcissist, we can have specific 'traits' that can indicate that a person is a narcissist, and therefore an abuser, in which you now clearly identify the 'hidden evil person' in the crowd. Based on which, you can avoid the narcissist and any subsequent abuse. Here, we find some problematic implications that having gone through abuse is the victim's fault for failing to notice the 'evil scheming narcissist" first.

When narcissism is successfully alienated and othered, then intrinsically tied to abuse, abusers get described as narcissists and armchair-diagnosed with narcissism. Where certain victims of abuse will claim that their abuse is unique and special, and that the only people who could understand them is people who went through the same unique and special abuse (because their abusers were unique and special).

Ultimately, this serves to demonise narcissists and narcissism. There is nothing that is 'unique' or exclusive to "narcissistic abuse" which justifies the existence of the term beyond ableism. The traits ascribed to narcissistic abuse are simply what constitutes emotional abuse, and in much more rare cases complex/sophisticated abuse.

The term "narcissistic abuse" as such only ever dehumanises and demonises narcissists. It does not allowing them their humanity or complex experiences, instead shoving them into boxes where their existence is equated to abuse, and their disorder to being an abuser.

It only further stigmatises an already heavily stigmatised disorder, and cuts them off from societal, social, and professional support.

Narcissists are "abusers", "lost causes", they "cannot be treated". They are not human. They are sub-human. They are "sadistic" and "cruel" and "do not care for others." If all a narcissist does is bring suffering and 'be evil' — the world is better off without narcissists.

This is what a narcissist has to deal with day-to-day. From friends, family, mental health professionals. That they are lost causes and cannot be treated, that they are deep-down, inherently evil. Nevermind that all these opinions are informed by stereotypes and the stigma surrounding narcissism, and that none of that is true.

Nevermind the fact that narcissistic personality disorder forms as a result of abuse and associated trauma (in Ireland, it was once contemplated to change the categorical name from 'personality disorder' to 'complex trauma responses') or that narcissists are more suspectable to abuse.

Narcissism doesn't make an abuser. Abuse makes an abuser.

Then comes the question, "but wouldn't being a narcissist influence the abuse?" The short answer is yes. The long one is that mental illness influences how you perceive and interact with the world, it influences all things including 'abuse' were the mentally ill person an abuser. However, it does not make them an abuser. If a depressed parent abused their child, say as influenced by their depression, with no energy and little to no motivation to care for their child and high irritability should they ask for that care or any energy-inducing things (so in here, through neglect) we wouldn't call it "depressive abuse" or say they abused the child because they're depressed in a 1:1 connection between depression and abuse where all depressed people are abusive or 'more likely' to be abusive.

That simply wouldn't be true, and not to mention extremely ableist. And yet, we do that exact same thing with narcissism to alarming degrees where the word "narcissist" has become synonymous with "abuser".