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None of us are

None of us are

Well love Is work An unfortunate but accurate truth

And it’s Hard work Trying to grow a diamond in dirt

And I’m Not perfect But I try so hard and don’t get far

And you’re Not perfect

But none of us are.

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Ch-Ch-Changes

I believe that we are all in a constant state of change. We learn and grow every minute of the day. Our values, opinions and personalities are continuously challenged or confirmed by our daily experiences. The changes that our experiences incur may go unnoticed individually, but together they shape our fundamental selves.

We have limited control over how our daily experiences shape us. Very few…

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My Ex Boyfriends

We seem to spend a lot of time being bitter about the past. When we think of former relationships it’s usually with a sour taste in our mouths. But the truth is that I have learned valuable lessons from the people I have dated, and I probably wouldn’t be who I am today without them.

Here’s what my boyfriends have taught me.

Boyfriend #1

The beginning of my obsession with love. Boyfriend #1 taught…

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If you’re looking for wicked adventure which won’t plunge you into crippling debt, why not spend two weeks in the land of tofu and internet censorship?

This was our itinerary…

Day One: Chengdu

There is one main reason to visit Chengdu… Pandas. And the ‘Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding’ has all the pandas you could hope for. They have large pandas, small pandas, sleeping pandas and… Well, lots of sleeping pandas. I was initially concerned about the ethics of the organisation (China isn’t exactly known for the ethical treatment of animals) . However, the researchers seem to be doing some great stuff for the conservation of pandas and their habitat.

  Once we had your panda fix, we wandered to Jinli Street for a taste of Chinese culture. With hanging lanterns, ancient architecture and bizarre foods, the marketplace is a great place to capture the essence of China. Here tourists can try a classic Chengdu ‘Hot Pot’ dinner or brave some street food*.

  *I do not recommend braving the street food.

Day Two: Train to Yichang

It’s train time! Day two was spent speeding through the stunning mountain scenery from Chengdu to Yichang. It might sound like a boring day, but the views alone made the trip worthwhile.

Day Three – Day Six: Yangtze River Cruise

The next day we hopped on board a cruise ship and set sail along the Yangtze River. The Yangtze River region is home to China’s most breathtaking scenery. For four days we sailed between rocky gorges topped with lush, green forest.

  The cruises offer a range of day trips. We, of course, opted to take all of them:

Three Gorges Tribe A history walk like no other, we spent the morning strolling along the boardwalk that snakes around the Yangtze. Here tourists can experience both the natural beauty of the Yangtze and the cultural traditions of the Tujia minority. The incredible beautiful of the walk blew us away, with bamboo forests overhanging the most stunning blue-green river.

  We also saw monkeys… They were assholes.

Three Gorges Dam Sure, it just looks like a giant slab of concrete that has displaced thousands of people… But wow, what a feat of engineering! The hydroelectric power plant creates 3% of China’s electricity (that is a heck of a lot of electricity).

Lesser Three Gorges For this day trip we boarded a far smaller vessel to experience the beauty of the Lesser Three Gorges. After piling into a wooden long boat we were steered through the (relatively) untouched paradise by a local tour guide. Here tourists can sneak a peek at the marvellously morbid ‘hanging coffins’.

  Fengdu Ghost City Temples and statues and shrines, oh my! The Ghost City of Fengdu encompassed everything I had imagined about religious worship in China: ornate decoration, gorgeous roof lines and more colour than you can poke a stick at. Although some of the temples are not original, they still give great insight into Buddhist and Taoist beliefs.

  Day Seven – Xi’an

Once the cruise was over it was time to step off the boat and fly to Xi’an. Xi’an is known as the Ancient Capital of China, and for good reason. As the final destination along the Silk Road, the heritage in Xi’an is unbelievable. A tour around the museum led us deep into the ancient world of the Zhou, Qin, Han and Tang dynasties.

    Day Eight – Xi’an

I could have spent all day just strolling around Xi’an, embracing the history of the city. We were told ancient stories under the Wild Goose Pagoda, took a calligraphy class in the park and rode bikes around the Ancient City Wall. There are not many places on this earth where you can ride a bike on top of one of the oldest walls in the world. That was one experience I will never forget.

    Day Nine – Xian

Xi’an is not only the Ancient Capital of China, but also the home of the famous Terracotta Warriors. On day nine we took a bus to the Terracotta Warriors Museum and spent the day marvelling both at the soldiers themselves, and at the story behind their discovery.

  In the afternoon we went for a stroll down Muslim Street, where tourists can taste some of the famous sugary snacks that the vendors have to offer. Alternatively, you can pick up a 100% definitely authentic Burberry scarf for 5 Aussie Dollars.

    Day Ten – Training

We were on the move again. While this time the scenery wasn’t so exciting, the destination definitely was… we were off to Beijing

Day Eleven – Beijing

Our first day exploring Beijing did not disappoint. We made our way through Tiananmen Square where masses of Chinese tourists flock to see Chairman Mao’s mausoleum, ignorant to the fact that the rest of the world view the area as a symbol of government oppression and violence. We then strolled through the enormous and extravagant Forbidden City, marveling at what a goddamn waste of money the whole bloody thing would have been.

  Day Twelve – Beijing

What sort of China trip would be complete without a visit to the Great Wall? We ended up visiting the Juyong Pass, which is an incredibly steep (though very scenic) part of the wall. The trek to the top of the pass is hard… Really damn hard… especially in 38 degree heat and 100% humidity. By the time I reached the top I think I was running on sheer stubborn determination. Having said that, I would 100% recommend at least attempting the climb. Just remember that trekking down is the dangerous part…

  Day Thirteen – Beijing

Well and truly exhausted from the previous day’s trek, we spent our last day in China pottering around Beijing. We started the morning with a tai-chi class at the Temple of Heaven, a lovely spot to relax. We then spent the afternoon browsing through the Beijing Pearl Market. While the pushy vendors and crowded stalls made for a not-so-relaxing experience, the Pearl Market was a great deal of fun. Here we haggled our way through the last of our gift shopping before heading back to the hotel to pack.

Day Fourteen – Home

Our trip through China had come to an end. I was incredibly sad to be leaving, but more than looking forward to being back in country with English restaurant menus. It was time to head to the airport and spend the next 24 hours eating, stressing, and definitely not sleeping… But that’s a blog for another time…

Two Weeks in China If you're looking for wicked adventure which won't plunge you into crippling debt, why not spend two weeks in the land of tofu and internet censorship?

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Why I'm Shit to Date

Why I’m Shit to Date

I’m married. Not sure how. I’m a pretty shit person to be with. Here’s why:

Baggage! In 2013 I decided to stop eating and lost 20kg in a couple of months. My hair fell out.

Too Independent “Hey babe, I’ve just booked flights to China for a couple of weeks. Can you water the plants?”

Basically a Cat Maybe I want 100% of your attention, maybe I’ll scratch your eyes out if you touch me. You don’t…

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Vows

You are my peach, you are my plum, you are my earth, you are my sun.

I promise to keep you smiling, because there is always something to smile about.

I promise to support the decisions you make, and encourage you to be the best person you can be.

I promise to keep teaching you, and learning from you, so that we can grow together.

And above all else I promise to love you, across borders and over…

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Cloud 9 - Fiji

Cloud 9 – Fiji

Recently, my husband and I spent a week honeymooning in Fiji. On our first full day in the country we decided to take a day trip out to the famous Cloud 9. If you do not know Cloud 9… Well, you probably actually DO know Cloud 9 and just are not aware that it is called Cloud 9.

Cloud 9 is a floating bar on the Roro Reef off Malolo Island. It has been featured on countless travel blogs and images…

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  By now I think we all understand the societal pressure which is thrust upon women to look a certain way. We must be feminine, but not too girly. We must be bold, but not too startling. We must be ourselves, but only if that self is attractive, unassuming and understated. We claim to celebrate individuality, but this celebration is limited to a very restricted type of look.

Today I want to talk about hair.

Throughout my adolescence I loved nothing more than expressing myself with my hair. I bleached it, cut it, shaved it, dyed it. I would have a new look every month. This phase was not short lived and my passion for colourful hair stayed with me for over a decade. I became known for my hair. Sometimes I was a striking redhead. Other times I was a blue haired mermaid. But most of the time I was Pinky, the wacky Arts student who did whatever the hell she wanted whenever the hell she wanted to. I didn’t give a shit what people thought about me or my hair. I was a liberated woman.

At the beginning of last year, something changed. I had just graduated from university and voices all around me were telling me that it was time for change. It was time to grow up. Nobody would hire me looking the way I did. I had to blend in. Be professional, be attractive, be mature. Dye your bloody hair.

I succumbed to the pressure. I dyed my hair a natural colour and over the year I let my natural blonde grow out. I grew it long. Very long. And ohh it was lovely; everybody told me so. “How is it so healthy? Is that really your natural colour? Oh it’s so lovely and thick!” The compliments, although well-intended, reinforced this idea that it was better to be beautiful than to do what made me happy.

I began to see my hair as my best, or perhaps my only, positive feature. I became obsessed with having it as long as possible. I felt that the longer my hair, the more attention would be taken away from the other aspects of my appearance that did not fit into those beauty standards. I found myself refusing to wash it, refusing to style it, because I wanted to prevent anything from damaging my only beautiful trait. I felt proud of the fact that the weight of my hair had caused neck problems… And that’s when I realised something was seriously wrong.

My hair was controlling my life. It had to fucking go.

I wanted to shave it. I wanted so, so badly to shock everybody like I used to, by shaving all that hair off my head. Alas, one unfortunate truth prevented this… I work at one of the fanciest schools in Sydney. I somehow doubt that baldness fits their professional dress standards for women. As uppity as I seem to be, I am not ready to risk my career for the fight for equality.

So I did the next best thing. I took kitchen scissors and hacked half a metre off my hair. I gave myself a bob cut and it was the most liberating fucking thing I’ve ever done.

Before I cut my hair I worried that, if I did, my husband would be less attracted to me. I worried that my students would think I was boring. I worried that other women would be disappointed. I was so scared of regretting my decision, but the second I heard that first ‘snip’ I knew I had made the right choice. That snip reminded me that it doesn’t fucking matter what other people think. It doesn’t fucking matter if I fit into some bullshit standard of beauty. I’d somehow become so lost in the idea of being beautiful that I’d forgotten how it felt to be free… but now this angry little feminist is hairless back with a vengeance.

It’s time to find myself again.

It’s time for another hair adventure.

Shot Hair Do Care By now I think we all understand the societal pressure which is thrust upon women to look a certain way.

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The Artist

    Always feeding, growing, thinking,

My creative brain is starving.

I will not be a fucking muse,

I will be the artist.

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Nom Nom Nice-Cream

‘Nice-cream’ is one of my favourite breakfasts to make. It’s simple, delicious, and packs in the carbs! There are thousands of recipes on the web (some more complex than others) but the base of nice-cream generally remains the same – frozen bananas!

…and that’s it. Bananas. I told you it was simple.

Nice-cream is great on it’s own, but it’s fun to spice things up. These are a couple of my…

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Making Long Distance Work

Make Long Distance Work

Long distance relationships are never easy. Some work and some don’t. Here are some tips from a military girlfriend on how to give your long distance relationship the best possible chance:

For a little background on my relationship please see my post ‘One Year Ago Today’

Keep in contact Try to have some form of contact with your partner every single day. I know this can be difficult for busy…

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Not Sorry

Finish school, get your degree Men won’t like your tattoos Why do you still dye your hair pink? You’ve got your whole damn life to lose. Travel now, while you’re young Take better care of your skin Be more careful, keep your legs closed People will care where you’ve been.

I’ll grow out my armpit hair And shave my fucking head I’ll sleep in my car that I paid too much for And write poems that don’t…

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(Un)happily

  Attached to my own agony,

I thrive when I am drowning.

I know that I could save myself,

Instead I sink into the sound.

  The water washes over me,

An ocean of affliction.

I revel in the misery;

My sadness, my addiction.

  Beneath the waves I write my songs,

Of suffering and sadness,

Of sicknesses and of hollow hearts;

The sirens sing along.

  I have the strength to save myself,

But these depths…

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Dreaming Reality

It moves through me like a harrowing dream, A touch I’ve never felt, And a love I’ve never seen.

It haunts me as though it were dead, A weekend I never had, Lived out a thousand times in my head.

There is this girl who isn’t me, With a boy who isn’t you, But what I imagine you to be.

There is a bed that was never ours, There are sheets tangled with her love; Your body bends, her body bows.

Althou…

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Road Tripping the Top End

Road Tripping the Top End

“So what brings you to Darwin?” “I’m on my honeymoon.” “….”

When you think of traditional romantic escapes, the Northern Territory of Australia probably isn’t the first place you think of. However if dirt, heat and magic are what you’re after, there is no better place you could visit. This is how we spent five days exploring the Top End.

Day One: Kakadu The first stop on our trip was Kakadu…

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My Minimalist Wardrobe

There is too much happening in my head.

While I successfully compartmentalise different aspects of my life, I struggle with existential thoughts and internal anxieties. I worry about who I am and what is going to happen in my future. Because of this, I often find it difficult to make even the most simple of decisions. I fear that I will take the wrong path and potentially damage whatever my…

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Baby Got Back Problems

Baby Got Back Problems

I love weightlifting. I love yoga. I love being able to move.

In February this year, I lost the ability to do any of these things.

  At the beginning of 2015, I was strong. I was at the peak of my fitness and could deadlift the weight of a large man. Then, life happened. I began my practical year at university and every waking moment was committed to lesson plans, research tasks and stress. It…