#"Signs of mental illness" | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seldaryne · 8 months

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somewhere in the back of my mind i'm piecing together conversational fragments that must have happened post-cazador fight & post-orin fight (+ all that came immediately after) respectively. i don't think it'd be untouched until post-game, but probably would take place closer to the final fight. something something the calm before the storm, insomnia-induced contemplation, etcetera.

i'm not 100% sure on the tone of everyone's emotions yet. what i do know for sure is that when astarion asks velrith if she would have fought him the same way she did cazador (he's seen what she can do & knows there would probably be a decent chance of her success, which is like. at the very least a mildly frightening thought lmao), she's going to answer him truthfully.

yes, she would have, no hesitation whatsoever. & he kind of figured that would be the case, but also wants to know why. it's in the past, he's definitely not going to go out of his way to set up a new version of the ritual for himself so it's all conjecture anyway, but there's enough curiosity to justify it.

& she was still pretty removed from everything at that point, so it wasn't completely impossible to imagine her stepping back to just allow it either. it's not exactly like there's a blueprint for what the average person would do in the same situation, especially when he wasn't objectively incorrect about that type of power providing safety.

there was a case either way, but even she was pretty sure it was logically wrong to let 7000 people die for that from a moral standpoint. alexithymia aside, that's pretty obvious. she's still not even sure that 7000 spawn would be as dangerous as an ascended vampire, & would probably point out that statistically speaking, a decent number of them will probably end up destroyed before they become a threat. letting anyone ascend just seemed like an objectively worse path across the board, and while she might have a memory of mostly holes & miss out on a number of social norms, she isn't stupid by any stretch.

there's also the issue of her oath. he gets it as far as knowing it's extremely important to her & she essentially wouldn't be who she is now, but he'll probably never get it past that. in the timeline where she was personally in favour of ascension but still valued her oath, she would have made herself follow it. one of them was not going to survive that encounter, simple as that. which isn't a pleasant truth to hear, but he knows that she's definitely not lying either.

she loves him in her own way, as intensely as she knows how (which is actually quite a lot, but is very much something that requires you to know what you're looking for to actually see it), but that promise she made to an ideal, that single idea that she was able to re-build an entire identity around was going to hold more weight in that situation. there would have been no justifying it if she let him go on, no way she could crawl her way out of oathbreaking a second time (to say nothing of how badly it broke her when she made the mistake that led to the first incident).

she didn't even remember her own name after orin tried to cave her skull in & left her for dead, but she sure remembered the oath she swore before bhaal upended her life. to her, that means something. fighting him would have been terrible, yes, but it would also have been a familiar flavour of tragedy & not the same hefty blow to her sense of being. she would unhappily survive after that, probably alone by choice, but alive. self-betrayal wouldn't see the same ending.

& i don't see him exactly feeling comforted by this, because it's a lot to unpack, but he also wouldn't have bothered to ask if he wasn't able to digest the truth either (she's also historically a really, really bad liar & there would be no question if she was actually lying. it's actually embarrassing to watch her try).

the dedication makes so much sense, though. after the night she'd completely lost control, the only thing that really gave her anything resembling solace was the promise that there would be someone to end her if there was no chance she'd return to her senses. not platitudes, not gentleness, but the knowledge that someone would be willing & able to destroy her before someone else got hurt. (admittedly, that interaction left him feeling a bit weird in an inarticulate sort of way.)

& another thing--if they're having this conversation, she's also managed to piece together the memory of when she decided to pursue her oath, & more importantly, why.

rejecting bhaal had given her a notable change in her overall demeanour & energy, but absolutely nothing drastic. it doesn't destroy the typical disconnection she has with the majority of the world or the feeling of viewing everything from the other side of a glass barrier. that otherness in knowing there was something missing by the standards of her peers led her to value her body as a tool early on. so what if you can't make conversation without seeing the other person struggle not to visibly recoil? so what if you can't feel happy in a way that doesn't feel false? devotion to an ideal meant she would still meet a standard of goodness, could still serve a function & if she did it well enough, other shortcomings could be overlooked entirely. certain things were beyond her reach, but being useful and functional wasn't.

(even that was ripped away, and she learned that no matter how badly she wanted to change herself, she'd only ever been intended as an instrument of death. she didn't enjoy a second of it, but she's always been a tool that needed a guiding hand of some sort. the reaction to that much death shouldn't have been apathy, but even that felt too difficult to muster up after a while. whatever hope she had at at least being able to serve the people around her in a way that made up for her deficits was gone.)

no real messy conclusion here. he sits with the knowledge that she would have killed him out of necessity, but those same reasons are also a big part of why she was unquestioningly ready to aid him in the first place. she tells him it genuinely wouldn't have mattered even if he despised her for some reason on a personal level; he brought to her attention a man responsible for the untold suffering of thousands of people, and that meant she had an obligation to become involved. not exactly the romantic ideal of a knight in shining armour, but the consistency is terrifying & splendid in its own way.

honestly, i don't even know if he would know how he felt until he has some time to think about it. the way she functions internally is just so insanely alien to him sometimes, despite her general willingness to plainly answer more or less any questions he might have. the explanations work for how, not always why. he gets the bodily disconnect, of course, and the idea that you're only as good as your last performance. & his experience with other paladins tells him that they're generally kind of odd, but not in the way she was.

he wants to know why, then, if she'd always seen herself as someone who had such a massive blindspot, did she dedicate herself to something inherently selfless? usually, that sort of decision came out of emotional connection (not to be insensitive, if there's even a way to dance around that type of insecurity delicately). & she just sort of shrugs, as if the conclusion was obvious. she could always sense that there was something incomplete & incorrect in her, and if she couldn't fix it, then she could at least make up for it in other ways.

(this is probably the most glaringly obvious example of how different their internal workings are. he cannot for the life of him imagine continually putting himself on the line for strangers like that voluntarily, knowing he'd be getting so little out of it beyond meeting some imaginary and/or arbitrary standard. she's never even considered it to be that, on the other hand, and knows that causing suffering takes approximately the same amount of effort. better to at least have someone benefitting from her existence, if she should exist at all. there's still a part of him that feels like he's owed something for all of his suffering--she's still not even certain that what she's experienced would even qualify as suffering. if it is, shouldn't she tolerate it willingly because of what she is & what her purpose was?)

he'd propositioned her at the tiefling party for a few reasons. one was, of course, the need to secure his safety via her enamoured trust. not a single one of those interactions followed his usual script. yes, she went along with them, but never in a way that he felt stemmed from unbearable lust or otherwise being completely enamoured. he'd picked up on the involuntary detachment too without realizing, but it made him nervous. the second reason was more immediate; the staring.

in hindsight, he is now aware that the people watching is a harmless (if disconcerting when you're the one her eyes are on) habit of hers, and it's not just him who ends up targeted either. she's fascinated by the mechanics of someone who's able to work a crowd, who can effortlessly draw strangers in & figure out where things go from there. body language, vocal tone, everything is observed. she's moved past envy at this point in her life, she tells him, but she suspects that probably wasn't so as a child. there's a very hazy recollection of trying to imitate the way some neighbouring girls spoke to each other when they played outside, ending in confused disappointment when her efforts were laughed at as they ran off without her.

he could talk to people, though. maybe not always as well as he did now (everyone had an awkward learning phase, he figures, even if he can't recall any similar memories of ostracization during his formative years), and that wasn't saying he enjoyed the vast majority of those interactions either, but he could do it & do it well. so well, in fact, that her observational fascination had been inevitable. what he thought was intense suspicion was actually just a curious audience, and her (correctly understood) bafflement when he'd propositioned her had also retroactively made a lot of sense. she'd seen no reason for someone like her to have a place in his performances, but was curious enough to go along with it to see how everything looked from this side.

(everything worked out anyway, but he still feels a little stupid for being that off-base when she'd never even thought of hiding her motivations.)

there's also so much to unpack about withers dragging her back from the dead. she didn't even question it being a 'no peace due to the weight of your sins' scenario (which... i'm not certain it was entirely?). the only alternative she might be convinced of is knowing the reality of her strength and how valuable it would be for the upcoming fight. stepping into the actual gameplay for a second but she had orin down single-handedly in 1.5 turns. just over a minute of combat. that's not nothing, and would almost definitely be horrifying to watch happen in real-time. yes, that's your friend, yes, that's your lover, but it's a good thing she's not your enemy or else you might also be reduced to a pile of viscera.

i'd say this is probably the point where the lack of value she has for herself is crystal clear. not purposefully, but he's had some pretty pressing matters on the brain & didn't catch on while his focus was elsewhere (like not dying or being recaptured, for example). & she's also actually sort of... passive in a lot of ways? she's got a code she adheres to and acts accordingly in situations where it applies, and naturally there were some pretty strong reactions about bhaal's connection with her. but beyond that she tends to accept things as they come to her, operating without solid intentions or a notion of preference until after the fact.

this gets me to another thing i'll probably have more thoughts on later (or more in-depth anyway). him understanding & functioning for the majority of his existence with his worth measuring up to what he could do for cazador specifically. how good he is at reading people, using that to mold himself into someone that they'd be head-over-heels for in one evening and how easily those habits still show themselves presently & he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to unlearn that instinctive reaction, compared to her complete inability to hide anything. she will never be charming, or smooth, or even be able to do the briefest impression of 'normal.' people don't like her, even without bhaal's influence on her actions; there's still something that always flags as subconsciously wrong to them. and she'll accept the treatment anyway because it seems to be the best she can achieve. he knows how to have people falling at his feet with minimal effort; she's consistently surprised when anyone likes her at all.

(there's a parallel/connection here that i'm grasping towards but haven't quite defined yet & it has something to do with physical autonomy/reclamation of the self and how that can manifest.)

she also wasn't surprised when he confessed to having less than honourable intentions about their initial hookup. she didn't know the exact reasons behind it, of course, but she assumed it might just have been his own curiosity or even boredom that drove him. lightly insulting but another thing that explains her behaviour at the time. it was still something she wanted to engage in, but there was never any assumption that it was something more than skin-deep & honestly i think he might have been a bit miffed to learn that? in a way that isn't even entirely logical, since it also means someone didn't just fall for the ruse (& wanted to be around him anyway). but also: someone didn't fall for it, meaning there was some sort of hole in the armour, some type of vulnerability that gave it away. knowing now that he wouldn't have been persecuted doesn't mean this is any less of an anxious thought.

she's not aloof & never actually has been. she doesn't think she has that desire to connect because it's never been reciprocated, but it's there & it's strong. she'll take whatever she can to try and figure out what's missing in her, and this desire has been exploited before without her knowing. if bhaal's control made all her efforts pointless, able to control her body & override her own thoughts for the sake of murder, then there wasn't anything left to fight for. having her memories taken was inherently violating, but also probably the only way she was ever going to gain a desire to live for herself in any capacity. there's something just a bit extra tragic about someone who's never been offered anything remotely self-worth building to the degree they think 'hollow' is a positive state.

anyway, this definitely isn't a happy conversation for them, but it's important & revealing. it's also her first time really vocalizing what she thinks of herself, so that's pretty big too even if it's indirect. i also get the sense he might be even somewhat paradoxically angry. not at her, but more just the whole situation & the fact that these are the lengths she feels she has to go to for... what, exactly? the off chance that someone might speak to you like a person instead of an anomaly to avoid? it's gone on so long now, he knows she's never even considered that there should be an alternative. he's having to build himself back up again & it's been varying levels of struggling to do so, but he's never actually considered what starting from total 0 would look like. evidently, it looks like not even understanding what the issue is in the first place, or that it exists at all. he doesn't know if one is worse, or if they're just two types of the same hell.

mix this in with some guilt-tinged relief, though; if she's just piecing together herself now, then she's also not judging any of his own missteps. her tendency towards acceptance could probably use some more discretion on who receives it, but it's that same quality that allows her to gracefully deal with whatever he throws at her. if she doesn't know how, she will learn, not just for him but so she has the skill in the future. stubbornness can be a problem, but tempered with humility & patience? a lot of good can be done. he's done/said very little that she hasn't been able to take in stride and add to a growing list of experiences. it's also not like he's never crossed a line before, and it was made very explicit when it happened. his attempt to make light of the oathbreaking situation had backfired terribly, and that was apparent the very millisecond it happened.

but every time he asks something of her, or reveals a little more of himself, or dares to express discomfort, there's never been a need to push for it. how fear-filled had he been, wanting to crawl out of his own skin, when he'd choked over wanting to step back from sex? he'd expected something. disappointment, most likely. perhaps anger. a demand to be the exception. definitely not a thoughtful look while the request was digested before agreeing to it shortly after, only asking a question to clarify if he meant a break from physical contact entirely, or just certain kinds? & he just blinked back for a solid few seconds, processing how easy that was, how it didn't need all of the build-up or trepidation. ask & receive. that's it. & he asks why, because it's all he can actually think to say in the moment instead of an answer to her question, which produces an equally baffled because you... asked? what other response would there be?

as if no other option existed. as if what he said was completely reasonable and not something the majority of people he'd interacted with would have taken as a personal slight. the only concession she'd needed was clarification. and because he couldn't leave well enough alone, he did eventually manage to wheedle out that yes, should he have been turned off entirely from any sort of physicality whatsoever, she would have been somewhat disappointed (expected, honestly, especially since her recent discovery of general touch being something she craved after years of denial), but still wouldn't have pressed.

while grateful at the time (still grateful now, actually), he can't pinpoint if this was purely for his benefit, or just another side of how quickly she could deny herself anything that brought her the slightest amount of pleasure. it's not innocence, because it doesn't make sense in any world to apply that word to bhaal's former favourite, and she's aware of things even if she fails in their application. perhaps it's just the natural result of conditioning & neglect, a lack of recognition pushing her to accept scraps in place of something more thoughtful.

& sitting here now with her, learning that the one thing she had when everything else was stripped away was actually something she took up out of a desperate need to make up for the fact that she was simply born as herself is...

well. it's something, that's for sure.

because it's still important to her & likely will be until she's dead. it brings comfort and direction, providing a framework that she can use to navigate other people on occasion. he's not even going to broach the topic in a potential shift in interests. it wouldn't go anywhere or do anything beyond making her pull away. he'd been made to feel all sorts of shamefully inadequate over the last two hundred years, but he could at least sit with the knowledge that he had a few decades before all of that. it wasn't much comfort, especially with the understanding that he would be dealing with the ripple effects for an undetermined amount of time, patching the damage he could & learning to accept what he couldn't. but he knew enough to be able to mourn what had been lost.

so perhaps the solution here isn't to remove it, but to just... introduce more things into her life for variety. he's not sure yet, nor does he think he's really the best candidate to help either. (ironic, since she feels like she's the least qualified person in camp to help anyone with anything, but here we are.) & that's if a solution is even necessary here. perhaps it really is just a matter of time before there's a shift. she's been free of bhaal's influence now for... what, a week? possibly less? which leaves years to sort things out after, assuming they survive this anyway. a lot could change in that time.

another item on the post-tadpole to-do list, another bridge to cross when they arrive.

#bg3 #astarion x durge #i think i ended up combining a few stray thoughts here.#its def not developed enough yet to my liking if i wanted to write fic tho #might come back to it might just rework it for something else whomst knows #anyway. mentally ill thinking about her path to fleshing out herself as a person for the first time.#not even grasping the depth of the damage because to understand that would be to sign off on your own destruction.#the depersonalization is protection in her case.#which likely ties into why she does just accept certain things at face value. its just subconscious.#oc tag #velrith #couldnt get that one suzanne rivecca quote out of my head either #'to make up the fact that it's me.' yeah. Yeah.#she Does feel that way & doesn't realize just how much she does.

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edge-oftheworld · 7 hours

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one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I can’t count the number of times someone I know is going through something and I’m like ‘I’ve got a song for u’ and how much of my life involves telling myself ‘if [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can i’ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I can’t understate how much I appreciate these things.

but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they don’t share with us, but when they do share things it’s not a big stretch to be like ‘this seems like it’s what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much better’. and it’s easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if you’re already fragile.

and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but it’s hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we can’t say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes it’s a whole lot of internally saying ‘you’re doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better faster’

#curse and catch 22 (not the song)#I didn’t mean to make this so anonymous as a post but maybe. it’s applicable to a lot of artists. I don’t know #just thinking about how sometimes someone will say something and it’s like ‘oh honey’ if you can see. why they might be saying it #like a glimpse into the top of an iceberg that makes a lot of sense to be there given other things they do and talk about #I feel like we’re in a unique position as a fandom with the way all four of them have been so vulnerable in different ways #and they may not be perfect but imo no one deserves to suffer like that especially for an extended amount of time. but the thing is #sometimes the fans are suffering and so are our faves and people appreciate the relatability and don’t have any basic compassion #or ability to see past their own struggles. with this fandom especially compared to a lot of others I’ve been in and I think I know why #but in the end the way I see it we’ve gotten so much relatable content and encouragement (bc the Finding The Positives Vibes which are ther #and sometimes there’s nothing we can give back apart from being a part of systemic change which all of us deserve for ourselves too #idk if this band is unique in this or I just find them more relatable personally and thus easier to see how hard they’ve worked #on themselves and taking risks in order to be honest. and it reminds me of the quote about how suffering won’t make your art better #healing will. and so imo anyone whose art is really good when they are going through a lot has me thinking. imagine what it’d be like #when life isn’t so hard for you?? or when you’re getting better but it just takes a long time I’m like. you deserve to feel better faster #this all said I’m incredibly proud and I’m not trying to insinuate there’s anything catastrophic going on bc there absolutely isnt #I am not in any way worried. I’ve seen tragedies about to happen and these guys show none of the signs. but I do relate to a lot of tidbits #pertaining to. certain chronic mental illnesses and/or being neurodivergent in an unaccommodating world (don’t ask which)#things I would anticipate would be a lot harder when there’s hordes of often fickle occasionally predatory fans to contend with #sometimes I just think of this idk #celebrities are people #5 seconds of summer #5sos #5sos fandom #cw mental health things

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teatraps · 2 months

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Gotta rant about Edgar Valden rq

Cause seriously, his character is so cool to me. Like, you have the basic rundown. Rich kid ran away from home because he was dissatisfied with his life there. But then, all of that ends up just being a red herring. The “dissatisfaction” which always came off as him just being in his own head and looking down on others because he thinks he’s better than them gets flipped on its head with his 3rd letter. All of his trash talk makes so much more sense. He wasn’t just saying he didn’t care about other people’s opinions or money or fame because he was super self absorbed. He was saying that because he knew first hand the damage chasing money, fame, and power can cause. Really thinking about it, his father basically killed his entire family for status. And then, the slight implication that Edgar’s dad knew what Sarai was doing to Edgar the whole time. Now, it’s vague about what Sarai did to Edgar, but it was obviously bad enough to deteriorate his mental health to the point of having hallucinations. All that, and his dad never got rid of Sarai. Never fired him. Nothing. Which makes sense, because having a super talented artist in the family looks good for status, why would his dad care. He couldn’t care enough to let his wife rest to get better from her illness, or to actually look for his youngest child when she went missing.

For the little we do know about Sarai, we know he taught Edgar that praise is the highest form of love. Again, playing into the idea that Edgar was brought up to try and appease others and try to get status and fame. This is even kinda hinted at in his very first letter when he tells Ella that he’s going to become a famous artist, a goal he ends up feeling disillusioned by. The fact he still kept painting even after no longer wanting fame and recognition shows his love for painting was rooted in something much deeper than that. Then, referencing back to his deductions where he says that life is beautiful and the brush can preserve that beauty, it shows exactly what it was that keeps him going with art. He thinks life is beautiful. A simple reason, but a lovely one nonetheless. He cherishes the beautiful moments like the time he had with his mother or Ella.

This also could change what he even meant by looking for inspiration when going to the manor. When he talks about how he finds no inspiration in his home, it’s not something as simple as everything is just boring. He talks about how the culture of the aristocracy is just straight up draining for him. The greed. The constant push for more money and status, even at the cost of loved ones. The shallowness. There’s no beauty in it, he can’t find inspiration in it. Even as he signs off his farewell letter, he implies he would never go back home. He’s not just running off on some little trip to find inspiration and go home right after. He was straight up cutting off the life he once knew because it wasn’t really a life at all. As he puts it, he was just another decoration for his dad. For most of his life, he was kind of treated as less than human. More like a party trick for his dad to show off and gain their family more status.

And while we don’t know much about his role in game 5, the context of the game makes him stand out a lot. Outside of the fact that Edgar wasn’t in a faction at the start and the only character truly confirmed dead, his goals are also completely different from the rest of the group and he thematically differs from the others. Every other character is in some way trying to fix some “issue” with themself to try to assimilate into a group they were ostracized from (I say issue in quotes because it’s usually something out of their control that they honestly shouldn’t have been blamed for). Chloe trying to become Vera to be accepted, Jose trying to get his first officer title back and rejoin the aristocracy (or his alcoholism in order to maintain his station as a first officer in the first place), Kevin trying to prove to himself that he’s reached a point where he could’ve protected Angelina so he can face her tribe, and Patricia trying to rid herself of her curse in order to be accepted into her mother’s village. Meanwhile, there’s Edgar who was wanted by his community, but not taken care of by them. All five of them have a similar goal, to get some form of community and support, but Edgar is in a much different position from the rest of his team since he is more confident in himself and who he is. It’s never been called into question, and I don’t think that’s a negative trait either since every time someone in game 5 tries to correct their “flaw” it causes more harm than good. From Chloe killing her sister who was innocent, to Jose accidentally poisoning Kevin who was innocent, Patricia killing Edgar even though he didn’t do anything to her, and even Kevin being self destructive in drinking the poison. Not to mention three out of four of them feel regret and unfulfilled after they do it (and the one I’m not counting is Patricia because it’s not fully confirmed, but tbh there are things that foreshadow her not feeling fulfilled either so you could make it four out of four). Edgar, at least on the surface, didn’t internalize that there was something wrong with him that made the people around him treat him like trash, mainly because he was always desired by the people around him. These people still weren’t good for him though, leading to the lack of inspiration they give him. As he says, he’s looking for “fresh colors” and Edgar only refers to colors when he’s talking about someone he cared for (his mom = green, Ella = white, Sarai = red). Edgar looking for fresh colors could probably roughly translate to looking for new companionship with people that actually care about him.

If I really wanted to get into the internalizing thing tho, I’d probably say his willingness to sacrifice himself probably comes from…

1. Being so used to getting treated like a tool his entire life he thinks it’s the standard to a degree (hence why he’ll complain about having to play hero roles but still gets them regularly anyway)

2. Being unable to truly repent to Patricia because he can’t bring himself to apologize for killing Sarai (and he shouldn’t tbh, especially considering that was like his first act of true autonomy)

3. And lastly, just not really having anywhere to go after the manor. His goalpost ended at the manor while the other four saw it more as a stepping stone to get to other places.

And that’s not even getting into his overall lore relevance because let’s not act like he didn’t imply the Deross family are family friends of the Valden family in his 3rd letter. PLUS he has ties to Barriere.

He’s always got this slightly hopeful air to him, like he’s always looking up. It’s honestly just a really nice breather from the usual doom and gloom of idv’s storyline (granted his story is still depressing asf, but for idv standards it’s pretty happy. Like his 3rd letter where he just goes no contact with his dad is probably one of the healthiest things I’ve ever seen an idv character do). Even in the end, he gets the ending he wanted. He finds the inspiration he was looking for, but tbh I don’t think it was death that he was trying to achieve. His deaths are always portrayed as sacrifices specifically. It’s usually not something he really wants to do. Runaway didn’t want to risk his life and put himself in danger with mir, but he does it because he doesn’t want to abandon the followers to a cult. Censer didn’t want to die, he still really wanted to see his creator’s wish come true, but he accepts death if it will bring it closer to coming true. Even in his experiment file, Orpheus says Edgar accepted it at the end, so he decides to accept it at the end of the game. Most likely for some greater goal that hasn’t been revealed yet since Orpheus was hella vague in his experiment file.

I could honestly go on and on about how well executed his whole character is too. With how well they played into double entendres with his words and used a lot of art metaphors to sort of hide his actual character so on the surface you wouldn’t clock it immediately. Or the carefully picked art references they used in his trailer that all tie into his character really well (I still think he has one of the best trailers to date). To even the way his birthday letters are released, and keeping his perspective on game 5 hidden despite probably having the most reliable account, instead having other characters describe him to play into the misdirection.

I could literally talk for hours about Edgar Valden, he is the idv character of all time and I love him sm

#idv #edgar valden #identity v #painter idv #edgar idv #idv edgar #idv painter #idv lore #chloe nair #jose baden #patricia dorval #kevin ayuso #edgar valden hates the one piece (not clickbait)

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pinkscaped · 3 months

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⌗ HEADLINES ! HEADLINES !

A mini collection of headlines that made The Pinkscape stand still. Content warning for Age Gap Relationships, Slut Shaming, and Employee x Boss Relationships!

POSTED : MAY 23RD 2024.

Hide your moms! Finn Lee was spotted making out with veteran idol and second-gen icon Myrah Yamazaki on the balcony of the Mydol building. It's alleged that the pair were at a company party, celebrating the acquirement of DeepDive's contract from Flowerbank Entertainment, when the pair went outside to smoke together. A fan, who might or might not be a stalker that doesn't matter here, caught the pair "kissing passionately" on the balcony after talking for a few minutes.

Though Mydol has released no official statement, Myrah posted on her blog about the photos, stating:

"I know I only post on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays, and it's a Friday, but I just want to say that I DID kiss that guy, and it shouldn't matter. I kiss a lot of guys my age, not my age, older, younger, whatever. I kiss a lot of men because I want to, and I am nearly forty. Apologies for kissing your bias or whatever but leave me alone. He's not hard to kiss so go find him and kiss him yourself. TTYL xoxo, Myrah."

Many girl group stans found this statement empowering, while DeepDive stans found it offensive to Finn, who has remained silent on the issue. "She could've not called him a ran through whore like that," Twitter user "kiwowsussy" posted. "She's a loser I do not get y'alls obsession 😭" User "l8rbaebi" said in the quotes of the original article. This pairing seemed to cause a lot of commotion on Twitter and Instagram, many fans flooding both Myrah and Finn's comments with demands for an apology or pleas for them to break up.

To which, Finn simply replied with these Instagram stories:

Though it's still debated if the pair are officially dating or not, fans have seemed to calm down due to the very blunt statements of, and I quote, not giving a fuck.

POSTED : JUNE 3RD 2024.

Controversy follows Jung Yoonah wherever she goes. We were all there for when the infamous photobooth Jinah pics were posted to the Mydol Family Twitter. If you don't remember, here's a refresher:

Whichever intern posted that was obviously fired because the incident not only caused the tweet's deletion but also Mydol to release an official statement, threatening legal action if anyone makes "defamatory remarks about staff or artists" which we know Son Jinhwa is not above doing when you say something he doesn't like.

What was shocking was the 20-minute explanation video Jung Yoonah would go on to upload on her personal channel. In the video she's sitting on her bed room floor, providing her perspective on the entire situation as well as some insight on the infamous trial between her and Son Jinhwa in 2023.

"I think it's beneficial for everyone to know the truth. I did not want to leave Angelico, I did not want to sue Jinhwa or press charges against him, and I do not believe he is a bad person, which is why I took the first chance to sign with him again. All of those decisions were made for me by people who didn't and still don't care what I have to say. I never wanted to go to trial, but I'm dealing with its ramifications every day. I'm tired of it." Yoonah would start the video off guns a blazing, later going on to name-drop Lee Iseul, Carmen Bae, and former Venus member Bliss as the main people making these choices for her, which caused a massive stir online.

"With all the sincerity in my heart, please stop treating me like a child. I have had people make the most basic of decisions for me my entire life, and I would greatly appreciate it if everyone let me do what I want. I'm twenty-five years old. Let me live my life even if you don't like how I'm living it, please." This plea would cause a debate on whether or not Yoonah is capable of making her own decisions, her messy past of substance abuse, toxic relationships, and mental illness being brought up by fans and detractors alike.

While the video proved to be controversial, it got her point across and even had constellations trending #WELOVEYOUBAEBI across various platforms, which Yoonah responded to by posting an Instagram story of a black screen with a single "thank you 🤍" in the center of it. Despite this support, many are still worried about Yoonah's well-being under the management of Son Jinhwa, who was found guilty of assaulting the idol last March.

The worries seem to have fallen on deaf ears.

POSTED : DECEMBER 3RD 2023.

Son Roan, the magnetic CEO of Angelico Entertainment, was recently seen on what seemed to be a date with Yoomi, once the central figure and lead dancer of Lunarix. However, Yoomi's recent demotion by Mydol Entertainment has led many to question her abilities and intentions.

Born in 2001, Yoomi is ten years younger than Roan, who was born in 1991. Despite her youth, she has struggled to captivate the public. Both fans and critics have noted her lack of exceptional talent and her abrasive demeanor. Her appearance, which some consider average by K-pop standards, hasn't significantly boosted her popularity. This has fueled speculation that her association with Roan might be an attempt to gain attention rather than a genuine relationship.

Roan, renowned for his professionalism and keen business insight, swiftly addressed the circulating rumors. "We are merely close acquaintances," he clarified, adding, "I would never date an artist currently or formerly under my management." This statement seemed aimed at avoiding the kind of controversy that has long overshadowed his cousin, Son Jinhwa—CEO of Mydol Entertainment—who is notorious for dating younger women within his label.

Despite Roan's reassurances, public skepticism persists. Yoomi’s frequent appearances, often perceived as attention-seeking stunts, only serve to mar Roan’s otherwise stellar reputation. Her failure to secure a stable position within Lunarix has led many to question her true motives. Is she genuinely interested in Roan, or is this just another attempt to remain in the spotlight despite her waning popularity?

As the head of Angelico Entertainment, Roan has established himself as a figure of integrity and respect in the industry. It’s unfortunate that he is now caught up in this controversy, probably due to Yoomi's relentless pursuit of attention. His assertion that their relationship is strictly platonic should be sufficient to dispel the rumors, but Yoomi's controversial past makes it difficult to dismiss the suspicions entirely.

Roan works tirelessly to uphold his reputation as a respected figure in the industry, but Yoomi's relentless pursuit of fame consistently brings unwanted attention. The publc can only hope that Roan remains unaffected by this problematic association, so he can continue leading Angelico Entertainment with the same dignity and competence he has always shown.

At the moment, it appears that Roan is unjustly associated with his cousin's notorious actions due to Yoomi's frantic schemes. We can only hope that this will be a brief chapter in what will otherwise be a remarkable career for Son Roan.

POSTED : JUNE 6TH 2024.

Seoul's entertainment circles are buzzing with the latest news about Ahn Youngeun, the luminous actress and expecting mother, who was seen alone grocery shopping without her engagement ring. The missing sparkling diamond has ignited a wave of rumors concerning her relationship status with Son Jinhwa, the contentious CEO of Mydol Entertainment.

Son Jinhwa is no stranger to controversy, often making headlines for his eyebrow-raising behavior and tendency to date much younger female artists. However, last year he surprised everyone by announcing his engagement to Youngeun, the first woman his own age that he's publicly been involved with. Since then, their relationship has been closely scrutinized, and with the recent news of Youngeun's pregnancy, even more attention has been drawn to them. This new development has only intensified the public's curiosity and speculation.

At 32 years old, Youngeun was spotted without her engagement ring and in casual attire, causing speculation among fans and observers about the state of her high-profile relationship. However, when asked about it, Youngeun promptly shut down the rumors by clarifying that they are still planning to get married. She explained that she is currently pregnant and sometimes struggles with swelling, making wearing jewelry uncomfortable. She also emphasized her love for Jinhwa and how hurtful these rumors can be to her.

Son Jinhwa, 45, quickly came to his fiancée's defense. He shared a heartfelt photo from their maternity shoot on social media, captioned with "I love my wife," demonstrating their solidarity amidst the rampant rumors.

Although the couple has released statements to dispel the rumors, the public is still divided. Son's notorious history of objectifying his artists for financial gain and his controversial dating past have cast doubts on the authenticity of their relationship. Additionally, Youngeun's pregnancy and the significant age gap between them only add more complexity to the ongoing drama.

Is this merely a minor setback for the famous duo, or is something deeper at play? Time will reveal whether Youngeun and Jinhwa can withstand the turmoil and silence their critics. For now, the pair appears resolute in staying united, with or without a ring.

POSTED : JUNE 1ST 2024.

After being caught with Jung Juyeon, the failed actor turned dedicated fansite, Chloe Lee, the main vocalist of Venus, this past winter, she gave a somber apology via the Flowerbank official Youtube channel which has now been deleted.

With her hair in a low pontail, natural makeup, and a black turtle neck Chloe would stare somberly in the camera and lament how sorry she was for "abusing her power" and that "she was blinded by love" when falling for CozyChloe AKA Jung Juyeon. "I deeply regret my actions and hope you all can forgive me. I'm no longer seeing Juyeon and will begin seeing a therapist to help me with my behavior."

Yeah, all that was a lie.

On a recent URIDOL, the exclusive platform for Mydol artists, live stream Chloe would share a photobooth photo of her and none other than Lee Juyeon.

"I thought you guys broke up. No. Never. We're still in a relationship and have been even after that bullshit video," Chloe would respond to a comment with a proud grin on her face, "You guys didn't seriously believe that video, did you? I was never sorry. Iseul is just a bitch. That entire video was scripted...I should do more acting, shouldn't I?" She'd shrug her shoulders with a beaming smile.

This clip would go viral, sparking discussions of how we don't really know our idols and shouldn't trust anything put out by companies. Chloe would be scrutinized on social media for this, but only for a short amount of time, as her fans acted like the army, striking down any account that dared to speak ill of her, resulting in a whopping 52 accounts getting suspended.

Chloe would comment on the matter by posting a photo of her and Juyeon on a frozen yogurt date with a "😙" emoji, clearly unbothered.

We wish Juyeon luck.

POSTED : MARCH 13TH 2024

Angelina Choi lost the long-standing defamation lawsuit between her and Son Jinhwa, owing him an outstanding 20.7 billion won as well as a public apology, which she believed the same day she was publicly fired from her job at The Daily Idol, who also had to pay Jinhwa in damages.

"THE THING ABOUT JINHWA. The worst-kept secret in the idol industry." Was published September 6th, 2023 amid a nasty legal battle between him and Jung Yoonah AKA Baebi. This article weighed heavy allegations of grooming, pedophilia, and physical assault against Son Jinhwa, primarily focusing on the testimony from Kim Misun, an idol and estranged mother of his child. Misun would also be found guilty of defaming Jinhwa, though Jinhwa would not require her to pay him any damages, only asking for an apology behind closed doors.

Despite the jury and courts ruling in his favor, the public is split. The police records of Son Jinhwa's violence are undeniable, and the paternity of his son is also undeniable, but since the article's release, Misun has refused to release a statement. Though she didn't release a statement, her mother did, siding with Jinhwa and calling her daughter a liar. "Jinhwa never touched that girl. Those pictures are nothing more than a mentor and a mentee. She was always desperate for attention. I never thought she'd go this far. He's a good man who was good to her."

Following the verdict, Jinhwa says, "The jury gave me my life back." The public celebrates this, while Angelina Choi and Misun are shunned. Petitions to remove Misun from her group, Haute Pink, would reach over 100,000 signatures, and the group's Instagram page would be flooded with death threats and hate comments.

Flowerbank stood strong behind Misun, threatening legal action against those who slander their artist. "We believe Misun and stand firmly behind her throughout this heartbreaking verdict." But Misun, as usual, remained silent and will be absent from public appearances with her group until further notice.

Jinhwa walks a free man with a clean slate.

#ི᭨ᩧྀ LORE #fictional idol community #idol au #idol oc #oc kpop group #kpop oc #kpop au #bts addition #fake kpop oc #fictional idol group #kpop addition #kpop fanfic #oc girl group #idolverse #fake kpop girl group #fake kpop idol #stray kids addition

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verycharismaticdragon · 1 year

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Been thinking about Luo Binghe. As one does, but in this particular instance of why, waaaaaay before I actually like... understood large portions of his character and themes tied to it, I still came out of the novel having imprinted on him.

Because I've talked lately about how important it is to read deeply to actually understand him, but I definitely didn't do that on my first read. He was absolutely as confusing and weird to me as to any of the ppl that hate on him, I just. didn't feel the same despite seeing the same picture.

And after mulling this over, I think this is due to his character soothing a very particular anxiety for me. As a mentally ill neurodivergent person - and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one of those who feel this way - I have definitely wondered at times if I was much more difficult to love than ye average neurotypical. Not in the way of mental illness making one feel unlovable (though dam it sure does that.), but more in the "woah my symptoms are sure a handful to deal with, hard to imagine someone would sign up to do all that work on a life partnership scale" way.

And you see, in media you definitely get (positively portrayed) characters who have a similar problem. But the authors don't really... manage to portray those characters' concerns as having weight. Because they shy away from making those characters symptoms, well, too problematic - lest they actually become unlovable for the audience.

MXTX, however, goes full throttle with Luo Binghe. He's undeniably, glaringly difficult. He does so many things that he really shouldnt have (that he instantly regrets, actually), quite a few of those hurting the person he loves. He gets in his head so much he nearly causes an apocalyptic event over that person saying 'uh-huh' to someone else without even meaning it. He needs constant reassurances. "A handful" doesn't begin to describe him.

And... throughout all of that, he is loved. We are in the head of a guy who loves him. Who gets exasperated, and doesn't understand, and goes through a lot of shit because of Luo Binghe - and yet never stops just, loving him and caring about him, whatever happens.

So Luo Binghe is someone who is genuinely difficult to love - portrayed so without pulling any punches. Definitely more difficult than an average nd guy like me or u. But. He is portrayed as deserving of - and receiving - unconditional, boundless, and eventually commited love anyway. Even when it is actually, forgive the overused quote, rotten work.

He gets to have that.

Yeah, no fucking wonder I tucked him into my ribcage right next to my heart even before I really understood why.

#and once u actually start excavating the layers mxtx put in he is soooo interesting and fun #but even before that he really got me #luo binghe #svsss #svsss meta #(admittedly this is more 'svsss things i should probably talk thru in therapy' but still)

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emithecharmer · 1 year

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Lotte World

(Amusement Park), Friends to Lovers, fluff, kissing scenes, teasing between friends, jokes about being mentally ill

Sorry for any mistakes!!!!!!

"Ooh they have cotton candy too!" Jisung laughed at your excitement, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, trying to keep you close to him. It was crowded at Lotte World, but after you told Jisung that you'd never been, he made it his life's mission to be the one to bring you.

"Oh! We should take pictures too!" You said, moving towards the booth.

"We should do it at the end, then our smiles will be the biggest." Jisung said, leading you slowly away from the photo booth.

"Ah," You pat his head softly, leaning on his shoulder, "what a smart man you are, Han Jisung." He preened.

"I try." He chuckled.

"What's the plan for tonight?" He asked as you two were sitting down in the food court.

"Hm..We could have a movie marathon." You suggested.

"No Twilight though.." You scoffed at him, rolling your eyes.

"Wouldn't be much of a movie night without Twilight." He groaned at you, putting his head into his hands, but you saw the smile.

"We can watch Howl's moving castle first, so you can replay it in your head." He jerked his head up, brows furrowed.

"I think you underestimate my ability to quote that movie, word-for-word." You laughed, throwing you head back slightly. Jisung's eyes practically sparkled as he watched you give him a detailed plan for the rest of the day, only butting in a few times to help you out with directions.

"Arcade!" You squealed, running behind Jisung and watching him play a game he was 'an expert at.'

" 'No, Y/n, I'm great at this game!' But then he loses." Jisung pursed his lips and pretended to be offended.

"Poor bay-bee." You exaggerated.

"Baby?!" He turned to face you.

"I'm older than you!" He continued.

"Technically, yes, but mentally, I'm older." You said, making him scoff.

"Mentally, you're ill." He said, making both of you burst into laughter.

"Tell Minho to never cut his hair, please." You said, making Jisung snort.

"I'm not supposed to tell you, but I'm your only friend, so who are you gonna tell," You deadpanned but he continued anyway, "Minho has a haircut scheduled." Your jaw dropped and you pretended to cry.

"Life is so unfair!" Jisung giggled at you as you wiped your fake tears, giving a very exaggerated sniffle.

"Where's somewhere you've always wanted to go?" You asked Jisung as he lead you both to where the photo booth was.

"Hmm, your house." He wiggled his eyebrows, making you snort.

"You've already been there." He shrugged.

"I don't know..I think I have everything I want." You nodded, not seeing the way his eyes quickly darted to look at your face, and the small smile on his lips.

"Ok, pick a style, and then pick the sticker you want on it..Not that one." You chuckled as Jisung gave his input.

"Okay, now look here.." He pointed to the camera before hoisting you onto his back.

The first picture was you on Jisung's back, holding up a peace sign and smiling brightly into the camera.

The second was you both making finger hearts and tilting your heads slightly toward the other.

The third Jisung brought you in for a back hug, confusing you a bit, but you held onto his arms and smiled nonetheless.

"Can I try something new for the last picture?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course!" You answered, unknowingly, before smiling again at the camera.

The fourth picture was you both smiling at the camera, although Jisung's mind was elsewhere.

The fifth, Jisung pulled you close to him, tilting your head up, and smiling down at you. You immediately knew what the sixth picture would be.

"I love you." He whispered before kissing you softly, hand on the back on your head, stroking your hair softly.

The sixth picture. Your first kiss, your first love confession, and your first of many Lotte World dates with Han Jisung.

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realbeefman · 1 year

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Do you have any good house fic recs? I am Struggling with my search.

for sure! although Disclaimer, i havent been reading house fanfic for very long and ive pretty much only read house/wilson so far, SO this is more of a hilson fic rec list than anything lol

Warning Signs by out_there - oneshot, 12k words, Wilson-POV, set around the end of s3. SUCH A GOOD FIC i laughed so much while reading this. genuinely delightful. possibly my fav house fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium - oneshot, 12k, Wilson-POV, set after s3 e15. THEEE classic fake-dating AU. this was the first fic i read in this fandom and it absolutely fucks. im a SAP i love a good “no homo but OH GOD THE FEELINGS” plot!!

Desert Mesa Motel - 8 miles outside of Kingman, Arizona - 12:03 AM by plorp - ficlet, 1k, House-POV, post-canon. this makes me BAWL. very very good fic but SAD. and DEPRESSING. will make you CRY/pos

How Not To Be Boring by fourleggedfish - incomplete/abandoned, 497k, Wilson-POV, AU from around mid-s5. if u like whump (which i absolutely do) u will probably like this fic. if u are squicked out by sex, u will hate it bc these guys bang 24/7. this fic had me pacing, glued to my phone, sick to my stomach, crying (several times), and obliterated my sleep schedule. i can’t rec it highly enough. every chapters includes appropriate content warnings, but some major themes that appear throughout are character death (not of main characters), the aftermath of severe child abuse, and mental illness. if any of these topics are a trigger for you, please don’t read this work.

Forsake Me Here by MonsterBoyf - complete, 8k, Wilson-POV, ambiguous setting. Wilson has intrusive thoughts about mutilating House. He tries to cope. features a lot of very graphic imagery and does an excellent but extremely accurate job of portraying an OCD-spiral that could be triggering to people. i LOVE this fic i think about it so so much.

An Inconvenient Truth by anathaema - complete, 15k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. contains the quote “You’re the suicide bomber of revelations” and is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. plus the way in which wilson’s sexuality in this fic is handled is honestly so realistic and entertaining. HIGHLY recc this to absolutely everyone who enjoys hilson

the more it took away by scribespirare - oneshot, 10k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. Omega!House has his first heat since presenting. Alpha!Wilson helps him through it. I LOVE OMEGAVERSE AND I LOVE FUCK OR DIE AND I LOVE THE WAY THIS FIC HANDLES THIS IS JUST GRAHHHH. If u don’t enjoy omegaverse u won’t like this but i can’t make a house fic rec list and NOT include this one

Aftershocks by black_cigarette - series, around 125k in total, various POV’s, set sometime post-Tritter arc. this fic IS gen, but honestly, i didn’t know that going in and didn’t realize it wasn’t a slash fic until the very end. tldr is that wilson is brutally assaulted because house has been gambling with some unsavory people, and house helps him deal with the aftermath. this fic does not pull punches. its is extremely graphic and everything wilson goes through is described in detail. it is a messy story about recovering from brutal trauma and everything that entails. DISCLAIMER: there are sequel(s) to this series available on the author’s livejournal, but i haven’t read them and can’t speak to anything they discuss.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare - complete, 25k, House-POV, set sometime in the early seasons. House lies about having a Jewish boyfriend to get out of visiting his mother at Christmas. Things quickly get out of hand. THIS FIC IS SOOO *tears into it with my teeth*. I love when they scheme together <3

#ty for the ask!!! had a lot of fun thinking abt which fics i enjoyed the most/stuck with me the hardest #tried to provide tws for everything but if i missed anything plss call me out #house md #hilson #housefic #house md fic recs #hilson fic recs

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onefite · 7 months

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10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

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#"Adult ADHD symptoms"#"Agoraphobia symptoms"#"Anxiety disorder signs".#"Anxiety symptoms"#"Bipolar disorder symptoms"#"Burnout symptoms"#"Depression symptoms"#"Emotional breakdown symptoms"#"Mental breakdown recovery"#"Mental breakdown symptoms"#"Mental health disorders symptoms"#"OCD symptoms"#"Panic attack symptoms"#"Post traumatic stress disorder symptoms"#"Psychological distress symptoms"#"PTSD triggers and symptoms"#"Schizophrenia symptoms"#"Signs of a nervous breakdown"#"Signs of mental illness"#"Stress symptoms"#"Types of mental disorders and their symptoms"#Anxiety #Depression #EmotionalHealth #MentalBreakdown #StressRelief #Symptoms

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beguines · 7 months

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A recent review of the science behind the psychiatric discourse concluded that "no biological sign has ever been found for any 'mental disorder.' Correspondingly, there is no known physiological etiology". This conclusion also became clear to the APA's own DSM-5 task force when they began work on the new manual in 2002. As Whitaker and Cosgrove record, in reviewing the available research evidence it was plain to the committee members that "[t]he etiology of mental disorders remained unknown. The field [of mental health] still did not have a biological marker or genetic test that could be used for diagnostic purposes." Furthermore, the research also showed that psychiatrists could still not distinguish between mentally healthy and mentally sick people, and consequently had failed to define their area of supposed expertise. This issue was recently highlighted with reference to comments made by Allen Frances, the chair of the previous DSM-IV task force. When the DSM-IV was published in 1994, it stated that "mental disorder" was "conceptualized as a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual and that is associated with present distress (e.g., a painful symptom) or disability (i.e., impairment in one or more important areas of functioning) or with a significantly increased risk of suffering death, pain, disability, or an important loss of freedom".

However, as the architect of the DSM-IV, Frances was later quoted by Greenberg as stating of the above definition, "[h]ere's the problem . . . There is no definition of a mental disorder . . it's bullshit . . . I mean you can't define it." The lack of knowledge on mental health and illness has haunted the entire history of psychiatry. Some have dismissed critics who highlight this fundamental hole in the science of psychiatry as "antipsychiatry" or "mental illness deniers." Such attacks on scholars who attempt to investigate the accuracy of the central pillars of psychiatric knowledge should further concern us, as it perhaps signals that plenty in the profession are already aware of the flimsy nature on which their "expertise" continues to rest. Together with an understanding of the history of the psychiatric profession—summed up by Scull as "dismal and depressing"—I would argue that it should be the duty of all social scientists concerned with the mental health field that, in good conscience and putting the needs of the public first, they remain highly sceptical of a psychiatric discourse that poses as expert knowledge on the mind but produces little actual evidence to back up the assertions made.

Bruce M.Z. Cohen, Psychiatric Hegemony: A Marxist Theory of Mental Illness

#bruce m.z. cohen #psychiatric hegemony #psychiatry

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goose-duck · 7 months

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One Piece incorrect quotes :D

Decided to do this bc I have a bunch of quotes in my notes app from my friends

~~~~~~

Law: You're like sparkling water...you look sparkly and fun but really you're just disappointing and annoying.

Doflamingo: well, excuse me then??

~~~~~~

Sanji: You're so pretty I could stare at your face for hours and never get tired of the view...

Ace: 0///0

~~~~~~

Shanks: I know the penis from my heart

Buggy: you know what now?

Shanks:...the penis...from my heart...

Mihawk: I dont...i...what is wrong with you..?

~~~~~~

Luffy/Marco/Whitebeard: Why do you need a reason to be loved?

Ace: *bursts into tears*

~~~~~~

Koala: That's a weird combination of things you have, a lighter with no lighter fluid and a box cutter in the shape of a flower, what mental illness is this?

Sabo: Depression.

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Zoro: *talking about how he'll be the greatest swordsman and beat Mihawk and how strong Mihawk is*

Perona: you're like a fangirl obsessed with their idol...

~~~~~~

Luffy: *being chaotic*

Law: is he neurodivergent?

Nami: He probably doesn't even have a neuro to diverge from...

~~~~~~

Sign: *do not touch*

Luffy: *trying to touch the thing*

Sanji: luffy, it says "do not touch"

Luffy: yeah yeah I'm only gonna look at it with my hands...

Sanji: luffy!!

~~~~~~

Nami: *telling Zoro to go do something*

Zoro: *doesn't do it*

Nami: Zoro...the thing I told you to do..? Is it done?

Zoro: oh...i was supposed to do that?

Nami: OF COURSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT, YOU PERSONIFIED DOORKNOB! YOU WERE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE ROOM WHEN I SAID IT!!

~~~~~~

Sanji: toe eyed cabbage

Zoro: 🤨

~~~~~~

news reporter: so, Mihawk, tell us, why did you leave the Cross Guild?

Mihawk: I got bored of listening to people ignore eachother.

#incorrect quotes #op incorrect quotes #dracule mihawk #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #cat burglar nami #monkey d. luffy #trafalgar law #ghost princess perona #revolutionary sabo #koala one piece #portgas d ace #fire fist ace #marco the phoenix #whitebeard one piece #buggy the clown #red haired shanks #donquixote doflamingo #one piece

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trekmupf · 3 months

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maybe the way we treat mentally ill people and prisoners is still not fixed huh

Pro

Super suspicious package is suspicious of becoming plot relevant

McCoy hanging out on the bridge again. Also he is absolutely incapable of standing without holding onto something in this episode (did I make a screenshot collection? Of course)

The way Kirk handles Van Gelder with the weapon on the bridge

McCoy being a good doctor! Also gives further insight into his character: scientific curiosity, gut feeling, good patient care. Also his close ups are so beautiful, He's so expressive, 10/10 Bone's face

Kirk and McCoy dynamic! McCoy having him investigate, Kirk implying he doesn't have great psych personnel, McCoy sending a woman he has history with to annoy him and it absolutely working

That weird dove, hand and rainbow sign screams danger cult

So many scenes between Spock and McCoy. When they properly work together it's beautiful (jk they're always beautiful even whenthey're verbally bashing each other's heads in)

Van Gelder's pain and suffering while trying to tell them what's going on is terrifying and sad, but it tells us a lot about who he is

Kirk like I can totally try the crazy people device on myself!

At first voluntarily but who could have known, it escalades

Dr. Noel is great! She has things to do, is a good doctor in her field, an actual character with ethics and a moral compass (not letting Kirk kiss her as he's not himself despite clearly being into him), and she gets shit done! I'd argue so far the most a female character gets to actually do in an episode

Spock's face when he sees them kissing is gold (also Spock's face when Noel first says “We've met”);

Another “he's dead, captain” by McCoy

Love the last conversation between McCoy and Kirk

More of Kirk's character: Is a very mentally strong person who to a degree can shake out of the machines manipulation twice, and is very resilient – it's that this trauma is still with him, McCoy and Spock are worried and he reassures them he WILL be fine with a slight smile (but he isn't yet) (Shatner's acting is SO good here)

The horrors of psychiatry / mind manipulation (conversion therapy, shock therapy, forced medication comes to mind), in the 60's extremely relevant but looking around now, still relevant today (sadly)

Van Gelder calling out Kirk: “You smug, button-pushing brass hat! Wash your hands of it. Is that your system?” is a great callout to the people in power ignoring the people in the system

The absolute horrific death of the bad guy by his own device – even though it was his own design, instead of turning the narrative towards “he deserved this” it's made clear that this was a terrible death that no one deserves. Shatner's acting of grief here is great, and this mood stays until the end of the episode

The set up of Dr. Adams being a great man in his field who revolutionized health care for the better having turned to the dark, experimental side and being dangerous – achieving great things or doing good should never stop people from questioning what a (famous) person is doing later on and McCoy was right to do so

Introduction of the Mind meld!

The tension and pacing of the episode are excellent; especially the scenes with the machine are horrific and hard to watch

I cannot overstate how much I love everyone's acting in this episode, but especially Morgan Woodward's depiction of pain, mental illness & urgency and Shatner's suffering & pain at the end

Cons:

Noel making Kirk think they had sex when he was vulnerable was and uncomfortable ( I think it can be sooort of excused by neither of them taking the machine seriously and her having to think of something they both know didn't happen - she clearly wouldn't have taken advantage)

Counter: Fake womanizer Kirk (non con due to hypnosis) Quote: "To all mankind, may we never find space so vast, planets so cold, heart and mind so empty that... that we cannot fill them with love and warmth" - Dr. Adams

Moment: When Kirk uses the mashine for the first time and the viewer realizes how invasive and terrifying this is – he doesn't even know it happened Summary: Great episode with an open political commentary still relevant today, interesting and well acted one time characters and more characterbuilding for the trio – Kirk as Captain putting himself front of the line to find out the truth while Spock and McCoy support him from the ship and swoop in when he needs them to (and them teasing each other a lot!)

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#star trek tos #star trek #dagger of the mind #star trek the original series #wewatchtos #wewatchstartrek

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juliettedunn · 2 years

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Luz’s Softness in Thanks to Them

We all knew Luz was going to have an angst arc in Thanks to Them. Her angst had been building long before then, and King’s Tide was the final straw.

Angst is popular in characters like Amity and Hunter, who act cold and mean as a result of deep pain on the inside. If they cry, it’s in secret, hidden away from anyone who might see through their confident persona. The “bad but sad boy” / “I act like I don’t care but I secretly do” type, to quote Luz.

That’s not what Luz does. Luz cries multiple times in front of others in Thanks to Them, and even has an emotional outburst in front of her teacher in classmates.

It’s the classroom scene that has a lot of people saying Luz is being “cringey,” and that they have to cover their eyes from “second-hand embarrassment.” I’ve seen post after post mocking that scene, saying Luz needs to “sit down and shut up” and that she has a “y/n complex.”

Whether a vulnerable person gets sympathy or ridicule from others is based on mysterious standards of what are acceptable and unacceptable ways to act when we are at our worst. And what is acceptable for some isn’t acceptable for others (white favoritism, especially in the fandom’s response to Hunter’s over-the-top emotional displays vs Luz).

Luz’s outburst in the classroom was highly impulsive and not something many would do, but Luz doesn’t know how to ask for help, not when she feels too guilty to confide in her friends and family.

Luz is at best passively suicidal in TTT. It’s actually one of the first times she DOESN’T see herself as the main character, she sees herself as the selfish villain, the “evil Lucy” rather than the good witch Azura. Her self esteem is at an all time low, to where she doesn’t think she truly deserves love.

It’d be so easy to lock herself away, bottle those feelings inside and turn cold. Many thought this was the direction her character was headed in. And Luz does indeed isolate and keep her inner feelings secret.

But she remains soft and tender-hearted, constantly cheering on her friends and supporting Hunter through his hardships even when she herself is at her worst. She even lets her silliness peek through, calling a possum a “little angel.”

Despite her low self esteem, she very clearly WANTS someone to help her and intervene. She wouldn’t have had the classroom outburst if she didn’t think there was some worth in making her feelings clear, some hope that someone might respond to her and perhaps tell her something different. Which makes it even more heartbreaking when the class gives her a weirded out look and then ignores her.

If someone behaves this way in real life, it should be taken as a serious warning sign, not as a “Oh my god that’s so cringe” moment.

You can see multiple times in the episode Luz fighting her depression, like when she goes to cuddle with Camila. When she asks Camila to let her stay in her bed, it struck me how amazing she really is for being able to do that.

Luz feels she doesn’t deserve to live, yet she still desperately wants to. She wants to hold on so much that she manages to seek comfort, despite her guilt telling her she shouldn’t be receiving it.

When I was her age and in her mental state, I didn’t have the ability to do something like that. Seeking help when you’re in that kind of state is one of the hardest things to do, and Luz does it multiple times.

For people to call her a cringey embarrassment for having an outburst is in very poor taste, and a bad sign for how we view signs of mental illness in real life.

Not everyone who angsts will be like Hunter and Amity, becoming aggressive and/or cold towards others. Not everyone can hide behind thick skin. Some become softer and more sensitive, cry more easily. The latter is in fact the healthier and often more difficult option.

Some expected a cold, withdrawn cynic, hiding away her emotions. Instead we got a messy, tender-hearted girl desperately seeking help in impulsive outbursts.

The fandom is finally starting to focus on her angst and trauma, but let’s not forget the strength that lies in her unfaltering softness as well.

Luz is a loving, kind, strong, beautiful disaster, and she deserves better from this fandom.

#luz noceda #the owl house season 3 #toh #thanks to them #the owl house #julietteanalyzes

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