#"Schizophrenia symptoms"

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

Vezi pe WordPress

[moccasins]

about a month or so ago i was playing dust in an rp and didn't know how to play him so i talked to my mom, who's both a writer and a mental health professional, and gave her a rough run down of his character and she said "sounds like he has schizophrenia or psychosis" and i find it funny that dust has now been "diagnosed" by a professional.

[ruvaidwani]

Schizo Ruvaid :

I once read in a psychology book that the earlier in life that one appears odd, the more severely they’re likely to be impacted by their mental illness later on in life. I guess you could say that’s the case for me. I can trace certain thoughts back to as early as 6 years old. I had crippling social anxiety and would become fearful of totally irrational things. Irrational even for that age. I was freaked out constantly and didn’t even like walking to the bathroom in my own house during the day time. I had this sensation that someone was right behind me all the time. I never felt alone.

My psychotic symptoms appeared when I was 12. They were brief and very spread out then. The first hallucination I ever remember was seeing a black hole or portal in my yard. By 14–15, I was having visual hallucinations nearly constantly. Mostly when I was by myself though. They really scared me . My parents didn’t wanna hear it because it upset them.

Around that time I also started having delusions that stalkers from my old school were crawling in my air vents, so I’d always close the vents. I believed I had to punish myself to absolve the world of its pain and sins and that was my duty on this earth. This led me to hurting or torturing myself in various ways. I believed I had a sort of gift to communicate with the ghost world but I couldn’t brag about it or else I’d be a pompous sinner like all the rest.

I also would hallucinate glowing quotation marks and I thought that was the spirit world quoting my thoughts. Whenever that would happen I’d focus extra hard on whatever I was thinking because I thought the spirits were trying to tell me it had a deeper meaning about how to punish myself for the world. I would also think random things were making vague references to my thoughts and that was a punishment toward me to make me suffer and go crazy.

There was also this delusion I had that my bathroom mirror was a two way mirror and I didn’t shower often because I didn’t want whoever was on the other side to see me naked. And I would see this caterpillar man on the bathroom door and I don’t know why but I believed he was the spirit of a criminal.

When I was 18 I started having more vivid hallucinations as well as nightmares where I’d wake up and see visions. I got these new visuals where shadows would commit suicide in front of me. I also started hearing voices at this time, usually at night. I would hear static and a lady calling me rude names and just repeating words. And I heard a man’s voice saying the name of a TV character. I also began losing my train of thought mid sentence or text or forget what words I’m trying to say. Or I will misread words on paper.

Despite the toll this takes on me, I keep it mostly to myself. I know deep down I am either gifted with the ability to see the forces around us, or I genuinely have schizophrenia.

I stay to myself as much as I can in my room. I do have to study and I manage to get through it. I’d say I’m pretty functional though I am constantly tormented with fears and thoughts. I can never truly chill out because it’s always going on and I can’t just fully ignore it or get used to it. I just hope that it doesn’t progress past this point.

It got worse when I was 18 I started to hallucinate more but it got better after I overcame my addiction but now it's happening again

[hotchlove]

Trustworthy | Reader X Aaron Hotchner

hi!!! welcome to my first one-shot fanfic :) i had a blast writing this and hope u'll have even more fun reading it.

• i take requests! plsss dm me or leave them here if u have anything fun you'd like me to write. it can be angst, anytype of trope, smut, etc. • PLZ NOTE: i ONLY do oneshots. they differ from long to short depending on the character and story. i do not write series! • trustworthy - 3.1k+ words (i got carried away D:) • desc.: - quite a bit of angst - probable inaccurate description of readers job - happy ending ♡

• • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~ • • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~• • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~• • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~ • • • •

it's been about five or six months since i've joined the behavioral analysis unit in the fbi. it's not like i've been counting the days...

who am i kidding? it's been exactly 191 days - whereas like 2 of those days my boss, SSA Aaron Hotchner, was actually nice to me.

those being my first two shifts.

on the third day, i had to make a spontaneous choice whilst on a case - one that, sure, was reckless and stupid and to quote hotch "unprofessional", but i managed to save many unpredictable lives with that choice.

we were on a case in miami, a state the team hasn't visited yet up until that day.

it was a 3h flight but it was a big case, so those hours flew on by as garcia briefed us. a 36 year old mother recently lost her teenage child to the hands of a drunk and supposedly has had hallucinations of her late child telling her to kill other kids, as revenge, i'm guessing - spooky, right?

i suggested manic schizophrenia - clear symptoms and obvious manic signs (the killings). that suggestion kind of cleared the foggy air on the jet. hotch gave me a nod of approval and i felt pretty damn proud of myself, it was only my third day after all.

on the third and last day, we finally cornered the woman on a traffic free highway. she had no where to run, agents were surrounded all around her - but she was holding a shotgun. the simple way out would've been having one of our federal snipers shoot her - but i couldn't let that happen. she killed the children of many, and letting her die a painless and simple death just didn't feel right.

i swatted the snipers away, the red laser that was planted on her forehead now gone. i throw my gun on the floor and pretend to surrender, hands up. "you remind me of my mother." i tell her, my arms up.

"Y/N." hotch warns me. his eyebrows furrow as he sees me now weaponless, basically staring the shotgun in it's eyes. i don't turn to him, i don't even acknowledge him. "she tried so hard to protect me." i say and walk tiny steps towards the woman, who now walks backwards to avoid me.

"stop! one more move and i-i'll shoot." no she won't. "she basically devoted her life to making sure i remain scratchless and pure." i chuckle.

"well, look how that turned out. i've got scars all over my body and a fun memory to come with all of them." i get even closer to her. "i know how you feel. i know how much you miss him." the woman cries and nods.

"i do. i really do. what did i do wrong?!" she yells and she points the shotgun at me. "i protected him like he was made out of glass, whilst other mothers - bad ones - let their kids wander everywhere alone."

hotch jumps a little seeing the woman point her hefty gun at me. "Y/N. move." he warns, his tone as stern as his expression.

i shake my head but don't look back. "other mothers - bad ones - still have their kids. and mine," her tears fall. "my baby boy got swept off his feet the only time - an exception - when he got to walk home alone from school." she cries.

"you're right. you did everything right," i reassure her and walk even closer, only 10 meters standing between me and the shotgun barrel.

"except you forgot one thing," i scoff. "teaching him to grow the fuck up."

bang.

the gun drops to the floor shortly after she shoots. morgan runs towards her, putting the metal cuffs on her wrist. he reads her rights and takes her to the sheriffs wagon that was parked just 2 minutes away.

the bullet didn't hit me - she had no idea how to take an accurate shot. god, she barely even held that shotgun - the weight of it almost holding her instead of the other way around.

"agent Y/L/N!" hotch runs towards me, i pick myself up. "we got he-" i get interrupted by him. "what is wrong with you?!" he yells.

"are you actually insane? i gave you a direct order to move. do you think of me as a fool?" he yells, his voice basically growling.

"excuse me? i just basically handed her to you." i say, offended he's yelling at me for doing my job. "and in the process you almost got your head blown off." he's even angrier as i talk back.

"head blown off?" i scoff. "hotch, the woman couldn't even hit a giant red target if she tried. it was a risk i had to ta-" he interrupts me again.

"no- no, agent. it wasn't. you put your life on the line to appear macho infront of everyone here." he puts his pistol in it's holder and crosses his arms, taking slow but sure steps towards me. "you took control of the case like you're a veteran - but actually, you're just a rookie that will probably quit in the span of 2 months because you'll realise you can't do this." he growls again. that one hurt. "badge and gun. you're flying back to quantico tonight. i'll put in a request for a two week suspension as soon as i am back." he holds out his hand, waiting for me to hand him my gun and badge. my eyebrows furrow. "what?" my mouth parts - speechless. "you can't be serious." i say, unsure if he is. he's silent for an entire minute.

so he is serious. i give in - i have to, he's my boss, so i hand him my badge and my gun. without saying anything, i walk away. leaving the crime scene, wasn't authorized to be there anymore anyway. and ever since that day, 188 days ago, aaron hotchner has got it in for me.

--

everyones sitting in the briefing room except me and garcia. i walk in 2 minutes late and excuse myself, "sorry, lost track of time." JJ nods and hotch says "you own a watch, don't you, agent?" his angry expression once again tainting his face.

god i'd pay a ridiculous amount of money to punch him just once. "yes, sir. will not happen again." i reassure.

no one calls hotch sir except me. it's kind of a unspoken rule - the others are close to him, which i am not. which i will probably never be, considering he still judges my mistake as a way to not trust me with anything.

garcia walks in just a minute after me "sorry, guys, kevin was blabbing and blabbing and i could not get him to shut up." she says and smiles awkwardly. "it's fine" hotch says. "everyone's allowed to be late - once." he raises an eyebrow and looks at me.

just one punch.

JJ briefs us on the case and tells us the local police department doesn't want us there - so she's going to have to convince them, which can take a day or two. i don't mind - i was honestly not in the mood for a flight today. everyone goes back to their every day business. files, reports, coffee and smalltalk in the kitchen - or for morgan and garcia, friendly flirting in her office.

me and spencer are both stirring a fresh cup of good ol' joe in the kitchen, talking - or well, he's talking - about some new physics crap. i just nod and pretend i understand.

the color of the beige wall behind him looks particularly interesting today. he keeps explaining and suddenly goes "BOOM!" his hands wide and i jump a little at the noise - spilling coffee all over my pink blouse. i look at him annoyed, "oh my god. i will murder you." he can't contain his laugh and bursts, "i was just demonstrating!" then goes running out of the kitchen before i can get to him. i sigh and look at my now brown blouse - this would be awfully devastating if i didn't have a go-bag. i place my almost empty mug in the kitchen sink and head towards my tabe - emily giving me a curious stare. "what happened to you?" she scoffs, "physics." i reply and take my go-bag, fishing out the only blouse i have - a white one.

emily just nods at my remark and goes back to her file as if it was the most normal thing ever. considering it's me - it probably was. i change in the ladies room and scrunch my coffee splattered blouse into a ball. standing infront of my mirror i realise how see-through this blouse is - especially with a pink bra that i wore just for the pink blouse. "you have got to be kidding me." my eyes widen. it's really not that bad, but it's noticeable. so noticeable HR might force us all into a "appropriate clothing" seminar tomorrow. i really don't have much of a choice so i walk out like that, hoping or praying no one notices. my hope is diminished when i meet garcia in the bullpen, holding her palm to her hand so she doesn't burst out laughing. "not a word, garcia." i look at her, my eyes shooting arrows. thank god for kevin, as he comes and pecks her lips, her surpressed laughter now gone like the wind. saved by the bell. or well, by a kiss. i sit down at my table and keep working on my reports - if i slouch down enough you really can't see it. i'm a great problem solver. a rough, deep voice calls my name from a distance, "agent Y/L/N, my office, please." hotch says standing in his doorway. my head drops in defeat - i really have no luck today. i grab the file i was working on and hold it on my chest, basically hugging it - it makes me look weird but not weirder than having my pink bra open for everyones eyes. i stand infront of his door, mumbling to myself about how i hate my life and knock twice. "come in" hotch says, his eyes glued to his computer. "sir. you wanted to see me?" he nods and tells me to sit down, still not looking up. and so i do, i sit down and keep hugging my file like it's gonna grow legs and walk away. he finally raises his head and looks at me. his eyebrows furrow at the sight of me holding for dear life on the file, "is that for me?" he asks. "huh?" the file. "oh, no- i just really like this file." i smile awkwardly and his mouth parts as if he wanted to say something more, but he doesn't. the embarassement i'm feeling right now could wash half the population off of the earth. "you're gonna have to be transfered to a different unit." he says and coughs, his throat sounding almost dry as he barely speaks that sentence. my eyes widen to 3x their size, "what? but i didn't do-" i take a breath. "i didn't do anything wrong? you're just gonna transfer me? just like this? wh- i don't get it." i rise from my seat not realising i let my file drop. he stares at my chest and then back to my eyes like 10 times till i realise. i heastily grab the file again, sit back down and cover my chest back up, "i spilled coffee on my other blouse." i explain. hotch sighs, "it wasn't my decision. strauss wants you gone." he coughs again. "i tried to convince her, agent." i scoff. sure he did. he was probably the first one to agree to the transfer. "you're joking, right?" i stand up once again, file still in my embrace. "i know you want me gone. i just know you were the first one to agree with strauss decision." i raise my voice slightly. "wanting me gone is one thing, so is transferring me - but lying about it? you're pathetic." hotch's eyebrows furrow. he doesn't seem angry, he just seems.. apologetic? "agent, listen to m-" this time i interrupt him, "i'm done listening," i drop the file on his table "here. it's yours now." i exit his office but notice in my peripheral vision that he stood up, as if wanting to follow me. all eyes are on me and how i storm to my desk, either that or my pink bra. but i don't care. i grab my bag and jacket, my files still scattered around my desk - but they're not mine anymore, so why should i care? "Agent Y/L/N." hotch calls and exits his office, i ignore him and just keep walking. "Y/N." he calls me by my first name now. i notice the elevator is about to leave so i ask the person in it to hold it, a hand splitting the doors as i manage to walk in just in time, aaron standing 10 feet away looking defeated. --

i took a cold shower as soon as i got home to calm my nerves. didn't help much but pretending it did helps. got myself dressed in a large shirt and some raggedy pyjama pants and poured myself a glass of red wine. then another one. i'm reliving today in my thoughts - why did i get fired from the bau? and why did aaron - sorry, hotch - lie? everyone knows he despises me and wanted me gone as soon as possible, and he did so, why lie then? i gulp down another sip of wine and hear a knock at my door. if this isn't the chinese food i ordered i'll be heavily disappointed. i open the door without checking who it is and see hotch standing infront of my apartment door, the arms of his dress shirt folded up to his elbows and his jacket held on his shoulder by his hand. he looks pissed. like always but worse. "what are you doing here? i don't need to transfer to another apartment, do i?" i mock him and cross my arms. "can i come in?" he asks with a stern expression. "why?" i look at him, awaiting an explanation. i'm not just gonna let my asshole boss into my apartment with no plausible reason. "we need to talk. please." his expression changes and my heart breaks a little. i don't know why. i hate him. he's rude and selfish and made me doubt my career. but i let him in anyways. i take a seat on a bar stool at my kitchen island, sipping on my red wine waiting for him to say what he has to say. "i didn't request your transfer. i didn't agree with strauss either." i scoff but he keeps talking before i can, "but i couldn't disagree either." i knew it. god this motherf- "you got offered a unit chief position." he says and my eyes widen. "it's gonna be great for your career. it's a better pay and everything." he walks towards me and chuckles, "you'd be in a higher department than me, and that within just 6 months of working at the fbi." my eyebrows furrow, he better not be playing with me because i'm believing every second of it. "i didn't want you gone. you're an amazing agent and we," he gulps. "i was so lucky to have you. but i can't deny you a promotion out of my own selfish reasons." my mouth parts as i inhale a small breath. this is.. unexpected, to say the least. "hotch, i'm so sorry for going off at you like that." he shakes his head, "don't apologise. i know how i've been treating you and it was unfair. and totally unprofessional." he takes small steps towards me, stopping just infront of me. he swipes a strand of hair behind my ear and my body freezes - his warm fingers slightly touching my ear, his gaze so soft. i've never seen him so vulnerable before. "i care for you. and even though i handled it poorly, i thought i'd lose you on just your third day." he exhales and his arms now cross. "i couldn't let that happen. so ever since, i thought going hard on you would cause you to be more careful, less reckless." his head drops and his eyebrows furrow. "i know it was selfish, and god did i hate seeing you on the verge of tears everytime i had to discipline you." he looks me straight in the eyes, they no longer shoot fire arrows, they shoot soft looks and quick smiles as his mouth curls a little. "i'm sorry, Y/N. and i hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me." he closes his eyes and leans forward, placing a kiss on my cheek. i stand there, still frozen. i don't manage to say anything but i notice him moving. leaving. he grabs his jacket and twists the doorknob on my door without a word. "wait -" i manage to blurt out and he turns around, surprised. i walk towards him in a very quick manner, basically sprinting. if me two hours ago was put in this position, i'd finally take swing at the punch i've been begging for. but i don't. instead, i cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him.

he doesn't react at first, the kiss starting slow, but then he grips at my waist tightly and pulls me towards him. he grins into the kiss and it feels like he just wants to eat me whole. he's greedy, unwilling to share, like he's wanted this for a while. i break the kiss so i can take a couple of breaths, he doesn't let go of my waist and looks me in the eyes. "i'm really sorry" his thumb carressing my left cheek. "you've said that."

"not enough." his lips land on mine again, this kiss shorter, more like a peck. his strong arms embrace me and my head lays on his broad chest. "isn't this unprofessional? a boss and his subordinate?" i ask as he hugs me tightly, "you're not my subordinate anymore, though, uniet chef Y/L/N." i chuckle into his embrace and pull myself away from him, looking into his eyes. "what if i don't take the job?" his eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head, "you have to, it's an amazing offer." i shrug and look up at the ceiling. "maybe. i kinda like my current work place though, i'd be willing to go back. unless of course my snarky boss won't take me." i grin playfully and he kisses my forehead. "monday 8:00 o'clock. don't be late this time."

[vintagegeekculture]

The 1945 Doc Savage mystery, "The Wee Ones," was a ripped from the headlines case inspired by newspaper stories of the Mad Gasser of Mattoon, an unexplained series of gas attacks in Illinois where a masked mystery man blasted others with sprays from a gas gun.

Considered Illinois's answer to the Mothman, many psychologists now believe that the Mad Gasser was just a case of mass hysteria, no doubt fed by irresponsible Illinois police departments who attempted to calm people down, but instead gave statements like (direct quote) "a gas maniac is on the loose."

A well known symptom of schizophrenia are what are called "ray delusions," where schizophrenics believe some dark, malicious figure has a poisonous ray that goes through walls, causes sickness, or turns food rotten or milk sour. Being attacked by a mysterious gas gun wielding assailant is perfectly in line with schizophrenia ray delusions.

Unfortunately, the "Wee Ones" is seldom read because it is in the 1944-1945 era of Doc Savage, when Doc's semi-superhuman, large scale adventures with apocalyptic imagery and natural disasters were subdued and turned into more commonplace mystery thrillers.

[schizosamwincester]

It's fun being a schizophrenic wincest person when one of the most important wincest quotes is "psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent." Here is your lesson of the day. Psychotic means having or relating to psychosis. Psychosis is a symptom of various things, not a disorder. It is characterized by hallucinations and delusions. The most basic summary of it is a disconnect from reality. Psychosis can be caused by medication, illegal drugs, physical illness, pregnancy, and lots and lots of mental illnesses, not just schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is the most famous cause of psychosis, but it is not the only one. There is also so much more to schizophrenia than psychosis. I am not experiencing much in the way of hallucinations and delusions these days, but I'm still very much disabled by schizophrenia because of the cognitive symptoms and negative symptoms. My point is. Psychotic does not mean murderous. It does not mean dangerous. It does not mean crazy. It means "having psychosis."

I'm not saying we all need to stop using the quote. It's too late for that. It's already in the show. Besides, they actually are "irrationally, erotically codependent." Hell, according to my preferred headcanon, the psychotic part does also apply to Sam. What I am asking is that you don't follow this show's lead in describing them or anyone who is not actually experiencing psychosis as psychotic outside of that one quote. I can't go back in time and have them change the quote. I can tell all of you not to follow its example.

[bluenightcomedies]

🗝️

i have plenty to say about the syscourse on this site, but it would inevitably invite bad actors and harassment so i'll start simple.

to those who quote the DSM-5 and the medical industry to proclaim that endogenic systems aren't genuine plurals, please keep in mind that the DSM-5 also encourages doctors to dismiss and refuse diagnosis if it can be 'explained away' by other conditions such as schizophrenia or epilepsy, despite it being known that DID has a large overlap with those conditions.

also, this stance of refusing to acknowledge a possible diagnosis or treatment if they can pin the symptoms on a comorbid or 'easier to treat' diagnosis is why there's a widespread problem within the american medical industry of misdiagnosing and refusing to treat ADHD, BPD, PTSD, eating disorders, and practically anything that can be dismissed as obesity or gendered issues.

even without including endogenic systems, DID itself is severely under-diagnosed and poorly researched specifically because of this counterproductive practice of trying to oversimplify the patients' issues to fit under preexisting bias or to save effort and money.

i understand the concern about bad actors, but you really shouldn't be making your point using hypocritical ableism. :p

[mrdogface]

lol so in real life, flat affect is one of the most common symptoms of schizophrenia, so much so that schizophrenics are often misdiagnosed with autism and sometimes vice versa

in comics schizophrenics are fanciful little elf men who quote cs lewis and say eeehehehe

[lunas-a-little-looney]

something that I never understood about anti endos is the way they try to appeal to psychology to prove that endos can't exist. I mean there's the obvious rebuttal that, in fact, there is acceptance of endogenic plurality within psychology (sophieinwonderland has some great posts about that). But also it just doesn't make sense because that's not what psychology is for. It's the science of studying clusters of symptoms that often occur simultaneously, then labeling them and finding treatments that commonly help people that fall into those clusters. Ofc they will also try to understand things on a deeper level, find links between disorders that were thought to be separate, etc. But they still don't decide what is and isn't possible for the human brain to do. Science is about observation, not deciding how things work and then forcing the world to fit that narrative. The only person who can know what's going on in your mind is you. Imagine if you went to a psychiatrist telling them you were hallucinating and they told you "no you're not, only people with schizophrenia hallucinate." That would be stupid, even if the only known examples of hallucinations were in schizophrenia patients. Psychology doesn't know everything about the mind, it never will. Something doesn't need to be documented to be real.

And this is a bit more philosophical but I don't necessarily believe there is one objective explanation of how anybody's mind works. For one what we think about our experience affects it, if somebody thinks they're allergic to something they will feel genuine pain when they come into contact with it, even if they aren't allergic. But also it's not a "real" place. It's an abstract concept that we use to understand ourselves. I like to treat it like outer space, there's so so much that I'll never know about it, sometimes things just happen and I don't know why. My job is just to identify patterns and figure out some models which help me explain things that I didn't understand, and uncover new information. Then I can make some new models with the new information and repeat. There's a famous quote that "all models are wrong, but some models are useful" If plurality is a useful model to you, then imo that's all you need to be a system.

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

[strangeauthor]

while idk if they're Offensive all the time some of the other personality disorder names piss me the hell off. Like actually "histrionic" sucks it's literally "wow ur overreacting" stupid disorder name. BPD- the borderline is bc it was seen as being on "The Borderline Between Psychotic and Neurotic" like. What. also looking up differences between OCD and COPD is. Quote from a website "The primary difference is that OCD includes obsessions/compulsions, while OCPD does not" THEN WHY IS IT CALLED OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Anyway probably less stupid but more confusing is the disorders beginning with the Schizo prefix. Schizophrenia - generally known as a psychosis disorder, also has negative symptoms like flat affect/anhedonia/etc. Schizoaffective - generally seem to be defines as schizophrenia in conjunction with a mood disorder. Schizotypal PD - generally lacks hallucinations or delusions, but still have negative symptoms and "odd beliefs" that may not align with reality. Schizoid personality disorder: this one's just social it's literally just social. Also one of the core diagnostic criteria is asexuality (or some places say "lack of interest in sexual relationships" like can we please just redo this whole shit. Also schizoid USED to be synonymous with schizophrenia but now it refers to the more social disorder. (it's a little funny when ppl try to use "schizoid" as an insult similar to psychotic bc it's much closer to saying antisocial.) WAIT I FORGOT ASPD.... CRIME DISORDER tho that's more diagnosis than name. Personality disorder names/diagnoses are just a mess we gotta start over (also in other countries personality disorders have been like re categorized with new names in the International Classification of Diseases, being more... Umbrella terms now?? It's something idk) sorry for this long fuckin rant I gt fixated on Schizoid personality disorder bc Mental Illness and now my brain is full of ????

signed cause that was some TRUE SHIT you said!!!!

[thescreamcorner]

i disagree with a lot of your views on mental health just given my own research and knowledge of mental illness and the dsm-5.

i think the inherent issue with it is the categorization. organizing things by how they present behaviorally feels very unscientific. we need to do a lot more research to lean into like a sort of biological taxonomy. one big example is that schizophrenia and bipolar disorders have a LOT of overlap in brain areas, and while they are not identical areas, treating bipolar as something closer to anxiety and depression seems like a poor way to treat it, especially if you're looking from biological and medical perspectives.

i'm not as familiar on ptsd and personality disorders, but there's a lot of overlap there, and considering my own experience "developing a cluster b personality disorder" from trauma (i say this in quotations because i do not actually like the diagnostic system and would rather remain undiagnosed), i wouldn't be surprised if there was neural overlap in like, activity, connectivity. There's probably other stuff too we haven't really looked into. I feel like there's so much more we can do to look into the neurology of mental illness than we're doing as is. Focusing on symptoms too much, and even neurology wise plasticity can be a problem. Did you know bullying can change the way your brain works?! (Reductive way of saying it, but there's a bit of research on bullying +plasticity, also i'm off track.)

i also feel as though the clinical/general applied psych community could do a lot more pulling from basic research. we only get the moolah if we work through their lens (i'm a cognitive neuroscientist), so like. i wish therapists and psychiatrists would look a little more into our readings sometimes...

i've been doing a lot more reading on dimensional models, and i kind of like what it's putting down. part of me worries that having neurological profiles of mental illnesses might end up sort of labelling neurotypical people in the same sort of essentialist way a lot of diagnostic labels do with mentally ill people (reason i would like to remain undiagnosed). But I think the idea of quote unquote "neurotypicals" with tendencies (something discussed both in literature and in clinical settings where mental illness is defined as symptoms + distress) and similar brain patterns to those with adhd, autism, ocd, depression, psychosis etc sort of forming community with those who have those disorders proper. i think we could learn a lot from one another! coping mechanisms, how to deal with big stressors, learning what sets us off in situations with better coordination and less yappy narcs than group therapy. perhaps it's idealist, but i'm a bit of a dreamer.

i hope you read this and consider my point of view, even if it did meander a bit XD

It took me awhile to be able to sit and take this in, and even still I'm having a hard time comprehending chunks of it so if my response ends up misinterpreting anything feel free to send another anon to clarify.

I do agree that we're still not at a perfect stage of "all of these things are 100% properly understood", and by no means do I feel psychiatry has managed to hit a perfect stride when it comes to diagnostics either. Things can and do still get misdiagnosed for various reasons, and there's definitely disorders that get seen as "similar" because of behavior that brain-structure wise may be worlds apart.

I also agree that in concept, having spaces that allow currently undiagnosed/traits of/self-suspected people, or those who just have a few similar symptoms that find themselves relating to, is certainly not a horrible idea. Having peer-to-peer support spaces shouldn't necessarily depend on whether or not a doctor has given you the "stamp of approval," and in some cases I've even seen well-vetted, non-specific spaces that foster this in a very positive manner.

But in the spaces dedicated for a specific disorder, the language used in them is.... not that. It isn't someone who suspects they have it asking for advice on how to see a doctor, or another saying "I relate to x symptom, what do the people here with y disorder find helpful for mitigating this?"

It's often rife with people who, whether due to comorbid disorders, malingering, or active faking, are spreading vast and wild misinformation that causes harm to both those already diagnosed (possible to adapt false behaviors and receive improper care if doctors assume misdiagnosis), and those actively seeking one (may exaggerate/lie about symptoms or use key words found online that lead a doctor to assume malingering, even during real cases).

There's so many takes that disregard the medical misinfo to fixate on validating "all" experiences, regardless of when those experiences indicate a different disorder. And if that gets called out, then you're fakeclaiming every single person there somehow. And if the space is actively pro-self dx, then they're often prone to telling people that no psychiatrist should be trusted (ESPECIALLY if they tell you your self dx is wrong) and that a diagnosis doesn't matter anyway because it's all some grand conspiracy to further oppress you.

And outside of that, even when someone has similarities, traits, or specific relatable symptoms, there's times where those of us experiencing a specific disorder want to feel a sense of community with those who have the same type of experience, and not just someone who understands "by proxy" or as an outsider.

I have plenty of people who don't have a dissociative disorder in my life who can relate to certain symptoms I have, or can understand in a sympathetic manner when I talk about my experiences and frustrations. But I don't know anyone else with DID, let alone that I know is being honest about it. I don't have a sense of community or belonging-- I feel isolated. And the internet hasn't made me feel more of a sense of community in having DID, but instead it's managed to make me feel more shut-out due to how wide-spread the horribly reductive rhetoric around it is.

I don't have this in regards to having autism or adhd. Hell, I'm even less strict about my views around posts and self-recognition of those because 1. they're often found due to social irregularities that a person experiencing them may be able to pick up on, and 2. people are much more receptive to when misinformation, infantilization and ableism in regards to them is called out.

This has turned into a bit of my own meandering but basically, a lot of my frustration at the moment is stemming from the internet's treatment of DID (and dissociation in general), and there's definitely things I've said about disorders in general that I think there are exceptions to, but it can be hard for me to sit down and think about/talk about those things while I'm wrapped up in my frustrations about this thing specifically.

[sp00ky-scary]

The Mad Hatter kinnie went off the rails

I am only recently familiar with Tetch so this took a lot of research, design discussion time !!

Prefacing this with the fact my Jervis is genderqueer and uses he/she pronouns.

As a child Jervis Tetch was bounced around the foster care system with his sister. During this time Jervis and his sister only had each other and they found comfort in fiction specifically the stories of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There". Jervis was especially attached to the stories, and the two siblings nicknamed each other "Hatter" (Jervis) and "Alice" (her sister who I don't have an actual name for yet). When they were younger the siblings would often hold pretend tea parties inspired by Lewis Carroll's works. As a child Jervis was often bullied often over two things, a combination of genetics and stunted growth because of a lack of food for years on end resulted in Jervis being particularly short (4'9 as an adult to be exact) plus her generally odd looks, and her being autistic and having some "weird" habits and quirks. The bullying and being in the foster care system and a myriad of other traumatic events and circumstances did nothing good for Jervis' mental health and over time he developed paranoid schizophrenia although his symptoms weren't too bad till later in life. As an adult Jervis managed to go to university and eventually became a neural scientist at Wayne Enterprises, she began developing her mind control technology during this time and hypnosis skills (idk how else to describe that).

As adults Jervis and "Alice" stuck together and shared an apartment (I would like to clarify there was 0 incest I don't fuck with that shit and I do not want to write a character like that, yes I'm using the sister idea but unlike Gotham (the show) there is no incest). Except this apartment was in a really shitty part of Gotham (I mean all of Gotham was shitty but like in one of the worst areas) and one day their apartment was robbed and Alice was murdered. This event triggered essentially a psychotic break and Jervis had an episode convinced he was the Mad Hatter, and he kidnapped women with similar features to his sister in his attempts to "find Alice" although she considered most to be "the wrong Alice" and they would be killed. She was caught though and thrown into Arkham pretty quickly.

Further explanation of her mental health just because I want to explain it. Jervis experiences periods of lucidity where he is calm, aware of his actions, and experiences minimal hallucinations. But then she also experiences bad episodes where he experiences extreme hallucination, delusion, lost time, paranoia, etc. His hallucinations are centred around Alice in Wonderland. During his episodes she will often take hallucinogens and other drugs to maintain and further her hallucinations (idk if that would work irl I haven't done much research into hallucinogens and schizophrenia but it sounds logical). His episodes vary in severity and can be quite mild sometimes and her extreme episodes are surprisingly rare. Anyway with his crimes Jervis uses mind control technology, although it's not full control it's more of an influence and a suggestion, if an individual has absolutely 0 inclination or want to do something then they more then likely won't do something, but human beings are complicated so usually they'll do what Jervis wants even if they require a little extra push to do so. Also generally Jervis speaks in rhyme and using Alice in Wonderland quotes, but these quirks are especially bad during his episodes where she speaks solely in rhyme and quotes.

Outfit time, I drew two Hatter fits because Jervis is essentially irrelevant before he's the Mad Hatter. She sticks to mostly blues and oranges and using patterns to create interest, although occasionally wears much more chaotic outfits both colour and accessory wise. I think overtime her outfits would become more disheveled and patchworked. In Arkham somehow Jervis made a paper mache hat, idk when or how but I'm guessing they let him keep it assuming if he's happy and calm then she's less likely to have an episode (although they've got her on so many drugs he's barely human anyway). Oh and the watch with his outfits is basically because his mind control is a combination between his technology as well as good old fashion persuasion and hypnosis, and just the watch helps with it.

As already stated Jervis is genderqueer and uses he/she pronouns, idk his sexuality I didn't put any thought into that probably aroace. Jervis has a complicated relationship with Scarecrow, their relationship is positive, they're very close but not romantic, I guess it'd best be described as a queer platonic relationship but honestly I don't think they've ever defined it or even discussed it. When lucid he has a tense friendship with the Riddler, when having an episode he's quite fond of the Riddler. Other than that she's friendly with the other rogues but not overly close with anyone. And that is all I have to say, fuck I wrote a lot about a character I barely even knew existed before a few months ago.

[panicdeleter]

the unfortunate experience of having dissociative identity disorder diagnosed young is that I go to a fucking psych hospital tell them I have DID and they just, don't believe me. I had fucking Fuge. Motherfucking fuge. Nowhere online can I even find a description of what fuge looks like during the process other than "bewildered wandering" and these psychs definitely got the abnormal psych class at the local college that I've been told by someone who took the class "doesn't even mention the disorder" so my *absolutely has had dyskinesia like 6 times because my first doctor gave me 5mg of abilify as a 5 year old and wrecked my brain* having ass bitch got put on antipsychotics and because I was also age regressed out the ass, and totally disconnected from reality and deep in some antichrist demon boyfriend fantasy (I have... interesting power fantasies when totally unable to cope that apparently just, took over? like I *was* the maladaptive daydream) yeah I just, I want to go on, I can't I don't have the energy to pop back three stages of disconnected connected thoughts. This is just, how I think. I had a point but the amnesia kicked in and now I'll have to walk back through the thought process to find the idea and pick it back up with a new thread of self. I feel like I'm mostly fragment and not even alter. It's fucking atrocious in here guys. I am sorry for the incoherency. I'm tired of doctors not knowing what this disorder even is while also contradicting themselves by believing they're capable of distinguishing between "true" and "false" did like anyone would honestly pretend to be like this... like BPD and DID... I've met several people diagnosed BPD and like, low and behold after a while of hanging out and just, talking about myself and them BPD, CPTSD, and DID all feel like a spectrum of the same fucking thing. It's the same shit. I have at least one friend who's a diagnosed autistic narcisist and she's *also* dealing with the same underlying shit. Like it's all fucking trauma. I'm fucking pissed about how little information there is about DID vs Schizophrenia and how people don't have enough training to recognize did.... which doesn't respond to medications and shouldn't be medicated in the first place... and it takes 5-12 years on average to get diagnosed. That's 5-12 years of intense psychiatric drugs. 5-12 years of being a fucking hostage to a system that isn't educated about you, being passed from psych to psych as they slowly realize they don't know what's wrong with you, from therapist to therapist as they say they *aren't qualified to help*, direct quote from a therapist of mine. I have no idea how to emphasize on top of this how exausting this all is. How much each intake appointment means ripping into your history of trauma and telling them your entire backstory as much as you can. Every bubble sheet filling how much you struggle. Every psych eval... after psych eval after psych eval. I must have had at least 20. I'm tired. This is a major injustice no one gives a shit about. It won't improve, because unlike autism we don't have marketable devices, unlike schizophrenia we don't seem scary or dangerous, unlike chronic illness we can't be scienced in imperical ways, we can't be examined through the lenses of biopsy and genetic testing... what little research is even out there is mostly about detecting "fakers"... when a commonly known symptom of did is dissociating about your dissociation. I want help. I really, truly want help. There just *isn't help*.

[aspd-culture]

I'm so sorry if you've gotten this question a thousand times, but do you have any non-biased list of ASPD symptoms or things people with ASPD tend to do/think? I've been questioning if I have it but I can't find any list of symptoms that isn't extremely ableist

Well, part of that is because the diagnostic criteria's phrasing is pretty ableist. I can give you a quote from the most recent DSM (DSM-V TR, 2022) which is the book that professionals in the USA diagnose out of. I cannot give you the current criteria for ASPD outside of the US, because the ICD-11 has gotten rid of individual personality disorders in favor of a general "Personality Disorder" diagnosis with 3 severities but no clusters or individual disorders. I can give you the previous criteria from ICD-10, however.

(From DSM-V TR, 2022 - "Antisocial Personality Disorder, Diagnostic Criteria")

"A. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following: 1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest 2. Deceitulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure. 3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead 4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults. 5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others 6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. 7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another B. The individual is at least age 18 years. C. There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years. D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder."

The important thing to remember is that the DSM specifically states it is not meant to be used like a cookbook, where a list of ingredients makes a final outcome. That is to say, having ASPD isn't as simple as having 3/7 of the numbered criteria and fitting the lettered criteria. There is nuance to understanding what ASPD looks like and feels like, the diagnostic and associated features sections, development criteria that must also make sense (aka what, as far as we currently know, are either genetics and/or environments that cause ASPD) within your life experience, as well as differential diagnosis to make sure the symptoms don't fit better elsewhere.

The associated features section of the DSM-V TR section on ASPD is fairly long, so I am unable to put all of that here.

The differential diagnosis section of the DSM specifically mentions a few types of disorders to look out for that may appear to be ASPD based on symptoms alone, which I can list here.

Substance Use Disorder: If someone would also qualify for a substance use disorder diagnosis, then ASPD is only diagnosed if ASPD symptoms were present from young childhood and to present day. Both can be diagnosed, even if both were present in childhood and adulthood, but it is not ASPD if no ASPD traits were shown in childhood prior to the use of substances.

Schizophrenia and Bipolar disorders: If ASPD symptoms are only present during episodes associated with Bipolar disorder (manic episodes) or Schizophrenia (psychosis), then that isn't considered ASPD.

Other Personality Disorders: ASPD *can* co-occur with other personality disorders, but you want to research all of them to be certain that it a different PD doesn't fit better than, rather than in addition to, ASPD.

(From ICD-10 Dissocial Personality Disorder)

"Personality disorder characterized by disregard for social obligations, and callous unconcern for the feelings of others. There is gross disparity between behaviour and the prevailing social norms. Behaviour is not readily modifiable by adverse experience, including punishment. There is a low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence; there is a tendency to blame others, or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behaviour bringing the patient into conflict with society."

(It is worth noting the word "gross" used in the phrase gross disparity is referring to a secondary definition of gross, meaning large/important/marked/prominent. They are not being bluntly ableist on main in the ICD).

In the ICD, they note exclusions, which I believe is similar to the differential diagnosis section in the DSM, for Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (BPD) and Conduct Disorders.

Overall, this criteria has its own serious issues for both versions, but it is the diagnosing criteria (current for the DSM and recent but not current for the ICD, as mentioned above) for Antisocial/Dissocial Personality Disorder and therefore needs to be a part of any research into self diagnosis.

I would highly recommend looking into the DSM entry itself for ASPD as it is lengthy but thorough (and yes, somewhat stigmatizing) in its explanation of how ASPD tends to present itself. Putting the term PDF after DSM-V TR definitely does (cough) not (cough) produce some results that would aid you in this, and idk why anyone would do that when there is a perfectly legal way to buy the DSM for over $100 for a PDF version.

I hope this helps!

[dear-systems]

"OSDD-1b systems can experience [...] occasionally grey-outs, where memory is impaired but not completely absent, and some say they can experience retroactive amnesia or generalized memory loss but not cleanly between different system members as they switch."

Hi! We saw this quote in your most recent post and wanted to ask something about it. We have all these issues- grey-outs, retroactive amnesia, generalized memory loss, etc- and we've been trying to figure out if we're DID or OSDD for a long while now. Is it true that these symptoms wouldn't qualify for DID? We do have members that black out when out of front, and subsystems that have internal member-specific amnesia, but said amnesia doesn't entirely apply to front because I'm almost always in front so all memories of front go through me, so to speak. Do you know if all this would have any alignment with DID? Sometimes it feels like OSDD doesnt encompass our experiences (and since the last therapist we saw tried to dx us with schizophrenia, we're hesitant to get professional help)

thanks for reading! sorry if this is too complex a question ^^;;

None of the mod team are medical professionals, so unfortunately we cannot help with this. It’s understandable to not want to seek out a therapist, but unfortunately, we’re not qualified to assess you, especially not from an anonymous tumblr ask.

Your experiences are valid and real regardless of the words for them. Medical labels are just labels for facilitating medical treatment and insurance paperwork; you can use whatever terms you like from a community standpoint, but medical diagnoses have to be left to medical professionals.