#"Anxiety disorder signs".

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

Vezi pe WordPress

[lifeinspiration4all]

Discovering a New Life Out of Anxiety

Discovering a New Life Out of Anxiety. In a world filled with constant pressures and uncertainties, anxiety has become an all too familiar companion for many. But what if we could discover a new life beyond its grip? “Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.”— Jodi Picoult, “Sing You Home” Discovering a New Life Out of Anxiety Anxiety knows…

[madaqueue]

Lost Cherry

pairing: yuta okkotsu x f!reader

themes/content: dark content. yandere/stalking. non-curse modern college au. language, smut. scent kink (?), alcohol consumption, drugging (no nsfw during), oral (f receiving), semi-public sex. 18+, MDNI

word count: 2.8k

a/n: "i love this guy and whatever undiagnosed anxiety disorder he has" is my fav yuta quote i've ever heard and honestly...me too (and yeah this is based off the tom ford perfume what about it)

Yuta noticed everything about you. How could he not, when the essence of perfection, an angel reincarnate, was here before him?

He truly saw you, his dark eyes boring into your soul as he soaked in your every move, every reaction, every thought.

When you met him your freshman year of college you thought he was sweet, albeit a little strange, his intense gaze putting you slightly on edge for a reason you couldn’t quite pin down. But nevertheless he was always the perfect gentleman, holding every door for you, driving you to class when it rained, bringing you your favorite foods when you were sick. He did it without question, as though caring about you came second nature to him, like it was his one true state of being.

The two of you continued growing closer over the years, sleeping on each other’s couches when study nights ran long, going to concerts of a band you loved together, cooking your favorite foods. It was almost uncanny how similar you two were, sharing the same taste in everything, Yuta’s smile never faltering as you gawked at him in disbelief when he recognized the obscure reference you made or when he happened to guess your coffee order. “I guess it’s just fate,” he’d grin as you laughed in awe.

But it’s not fate, he thinks. Fate would never be so careless as to risk letting you slip from his grasp; no, it was him. Time and time again he outsmarted the universe, foiling its plans to separate you. He knows you because he sees you, understands you, in a way no one else ever will (he’ll make sure of that). It wasn’t hard, really - he was always naturally observant, calculated, patient. All he needed to get close to you was a few chance meetings, accidental run-ins, where he could show you just how much he cares about you. And you, being as sweet and kind as you are, fell right into his open arms.

He loves you because he sees you.

He sees the way your lips curl into a smile as you sip your drink from across a crowded bar, a slight frown forming across your features as some pathetic excuse for a man tries to speak to you, making an idiotic joke you politely laugh at; he sees how you fidget with your hands, pulling at the chipping nail polish during class, a tell-tale sign you weren’t understanding the material (and an opportunity for him to explain it to you later while you studied); he sees the way you move when you’re alone, when you think no one’s watching, when you finally let your guard down and ease into the truest form of yourself.

It’s almost like you wanted him to see you, presenting yourself to him like a book with the pages peeled open and the cover ripped off, making it impossible for him to look away. It was only natural for his eyes to wander the words of your soul, mastering the lines and sentences of what makes you you.

So it’s no surprise when he gifts you a perfume that perfectly encapsulates your energy, your essence. After months of searching he finally found one that met his standards, living up to his mental representation of who you are. He knows you’ll love it, and you do - you begin wearing it everyday, the sweet scent of your skin filling his senses whenever you step into a room. The warm, amber notes become equivalent to you, a signal of your presence, a smile gracing his lips every time it wafts by him.

The one thing he doesn’t tell you is that he bought a second bottle, just for him, his best kept secret, the cherished liquid that evokes vivid memories of your laugh, your eyes, your skin, your voice, your everything when he smells it.

It’s harmless, really, when he sprays it on his pillow to help him fall asleep, calmness immediately washing over him as he pictures you there, holding him. He could practically feel the warmth of your body in his empty room, imagining how your soft hands would trace his body.

And when he wakes up, the scent of you still lingering, a smile graces his face as he nuzzles into the cool pillow.

It’s not his fault when he grows dependent on it, spraying the liquid into the air as he screws his eyes shut, picturing you. The way you’d kiss him, how smooth your skin would be, how soft your lips are, how your hands would feel wrapped around his cock, how warm and tight your cunt would feel around him. As he slides his fist around his length, he can’t help but moan your name, the idea of you filling his mind.

You.

One word, all-consuming. You occupy his thoughts, cloud his mind in bliss, every waking second. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you.

So when he sees you at a house party, wrapping your arms around his neck as you go in for a hug, why the fuck do you smell different?

“New perfume?” he asks, trying to hide how visibly taken aback he is as he pulls away from you.

Nodding, you take a sip of the drink in your hand. “Mhm,” you hum over the music. “Friend got it f’me. Y’like it?” you slur slightly, swaying in his grasp.

“I-it’s nice,” he stutters, his fingers beginning to dig into your arms.

How could you?

Glancing down, he notices the nearly empty cup you cling to, mind racing as he formulates a plan. “Want me to get you another drink?” he asks, steadying his thoughts and tilting his head innocently, hiding the rage he feels behind his dark irises.

A soft smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, lip gloss glowing under the LEDs, as your eyes lazily make their way up to his. Reaching out a hand you ruffle his hair, placing a sticky kiss to his cheek. “You’re s’sweet Yuta,” you murmur against his skin, holding your glass out for him to take.

This would be sweet, if it wasn’t for the vile, traitorous perfume that suddenly overwhelms his senses. It’s too floral, too dry, too not you.

“Be right back,” he purrs, placing a kiss to the top of your head before stepping away, afraid that if he stayed any longer he would do something he regrets.

Besides, he can’t pass up this opportunity: he gets to show you he can take care of you, how much he adores you, and get rid of the chance that anyone thinks they know you like he does.

When he returns, you don’t even notice the weird taste in your drink; why would you? You trust him, like you should. When your body starts to feel too heavy, legs struggling to keep you up, you lean on him, like you should. When your head begins pounding and you just want to lay down, you let him take you home, like you should.

In the comfort of your apartment, one all too familiar to him, he helps you change into pajamas before bundling you up under the blankets of your bed. You look so sweet, so innocent, as your head rests against the pillow, eyelashes fluttering as you ease into sleep.

Your mind is cloudy as you rest, body still pulsing with each beat of your heart, suddenly sensing his weight shifting from where he sits at the end of your bed. “Yuta?” you whisper weakly.

He could melt just hearing you call his name, your voice like honey. “Yes?” he responds, turning his head over his shoulder to face you.

“Stay,” you murmur, reaching a hand out to him.

God, he could die happy right here. He could afford a few hours of sleeping next to you, right? It’s not like there’s any urgency now, he’s already lined everything up, now he just has to knock it down.

“Okay,” he breathes, getting under the covers next to you.

The warmth of your body envelops him as you lazily wrap your arms around his torso, uncoordinated motions to keep him, your one source of stability, close to you. Your thoughts are fuzzy as you fade into Yuta’s softness, letting him overtake your mind. Shifting his weight he leans into you, head resting on yours as you bury your face into his chest. He holds you against him, the scent of your shampoo lingering on your hair, a familiar one, a kind one.

He waits until your breathing slows, soft snores leaving your throat as you rest peacefully against him. Gingerly untangling his body from yours he rises, making his way to your bathroom. Sitting atop your counter is the target of his task: the sacrilegious bottle of perfume. It takes so little for him to knock it off the ledge, glass shattering as it hits the tile, the strong smell suddenly overwhelming the confined space, making his stomach turn as he pictures you in it. Never again.

He softly pads back to your bed, careful not to wake you as he rejoins your shared warmth under the comforter. Overwhelmingly pleased, his heart races as a contented grin spreads across his face.

When you question him about it the next morning, it’s easy to brush off.

“Yuta?” you question sleepily after you return from the bathroom, “Do you know what happened to my perfume?”

Normally the frown across your face would haunt him, tugging at his heartstrings to see you unhappy, but now it takes everything in him to not show his excitement. “Dunno,” he shrugs, “maybe you knocked it over last night?”

“Mmm, probably,” you hum, settling back in next to him as your head rests on his chest, hoping you don’t notice how his heart races at the contact, your mind still too foggy to realize you never even told him that the bottle broke. “Thanks for taking care of me last night. Sorry I got so drunk, I don’t know what happened.”

“Nothin’ to apologize for,” he reassures, his arms reaching around you, “I like taking care of you.”

“Thanks, Yu,” you murmur, nuzzling your head further into the softness of his t-shirt.

It’s so easy, he thinks. Everything with you is just that, easy: it’s easy to make you trust him, easy to look after you, easy to love you.

So when he sees you a few days later, eating lunch outside between classes, it’s easy for him to go over and sit next to you, the grass tickling his shins as he crosses his legs.

“Hi, Yuta,” you smile, your cheeks slightly rosy in the sun as you lean your head onto his shoulder.

Before he can respond, a familiar scent hits his nose, the one that is so, undeniably, you. “You smell good,” he blurts out, unable to contain his excitement.

A giggle escapes your lips at the sudden compliment, the sound soft and sweet. “Thanks,” you laugh, “it’s the perfume you got me, so I’m glad you still like it.”

“O-of course I do,” he stammers, “I picked it because it’s perfect for you.”

Looking up at him, you don’t miss the slight redness covering his face as his adoration for you begins to slip through the cracks of his resolve. All you can do is continue giggling, the most angelic sound in the world echoing in his mind, as he melts before you. “You’re too sweet, y’know that?” you ask.

Popping one of the cherries you brought for lunch into your mouth, a comfortable silence falls between you as Yuta continues staring at you in awe - how could you be so perfect? He has to stop himself from nearly drooling as he watches your tongue work the pit from the flesh of the fruit, the way your lips move absolutely tantalizing. He has to have you.

Sensing his gaze, you turn to face him. “Want one?” you ask politely, holding the bag out to him.

As you shift the richness of your perfume again wafts towards him in the breeze, tearing down any remaining walls of shame or embarrassment left encasing his feelings for you. Suddenly he leans forward, one hand going to the back of your neck as his lips crash into yours.

The kiss is messy, needy, as his tongue slides into your mouth. His body presses against yours, desperate for more of you, as you fall into the grass. His hands are everywhere, finally able to feel the one thing he’s been thinking about for years, as they roam your body.

Pulling away slightly, you breathlessly try to get his attention with a call of his name, but he doesn’t stop, only shifting his weight to kiss down your neck. Everything about you overwhelms his senses as he sucks against your skin, leaving a trail of bruises behind. His.

Your back arches off the ground as he moves lower, lips trailing kisses down your abdomen over your clothes as his palms grasp at your tits, your stomach, your ass, any part of you he can find, his touch hot. When he begins undoing the button to your shorts, a wave of panic overtakes you as you process what he wants.

“Y-Yuta,” you stutter, your hand reaching down to tilt his chin up, forcing him to face you. As he does, your face flushes at just how feral he looks, his pupils blown wide and lips parted as he pants expectantly.

“Please,” he whispers, “need to taste you,” his eyes moving back between your legs as he continues removing your shorts.

“B-but-” you begin, worried about the chance of being seen if someone were to walk past the small field you sat in, your gaze moving across the open space.

“There’s no one here,” he explains without looking up, sensing your nervousness. “I’ll make you feel s’good, I promise.”

Glancing around, you confirm the absence of any other students or professors, biting your lower lip nervously as you acquiesce.

Frankly, Yuta didn’t care if there was anyone around - once he started, he couldn’t stop.

He tugs your pants off, pausing only momentarily to admire the wet spot in your panties before pulling the flimsy material out of the way, his mouth attaching to your cunt. He moans as his tongue meets your folds, so much better than he could’ve imagined. The sound vibrating against your skin elicits a sharp gasp from you, your hands instinctively reaching down to his hair.

“Yuta,” you whine as his tongue glides up you.

God, he loves the way you say his name; he needs to hear it again.

His palms trace down your body to hold onto your thighs tightly, nearly leaving more bruises against your skin as he pulls you impossibly closer to him. Swirling around your clit he whines as your hips move up, desperate for more friction, his heart swelling at the idea that you need him just as badly as he needs you.

After years of loving you he knows just what to do, exactly how to move to make you feel good, his compendium of your body finally paying off. Slipping his tongue into you, another whimper escapes his throat as you moan his name. Bringing one hand down he roughly circles your clit with his thumb, using the exact pattern he’s seen you do more times than he could count, one he knows is guaranteed to bring you closer and closer and closer.

As your grip on his hair tightens, he knows it’s working.

His mind is flooded with you, your smell, your taste, your sounds, your everything. He loves it, he wants to crawl inside you and live in your heart forever, just like you’ve done with his. He wants to make a home in the corner of your mind, getting to see the most private and intimate thoughts you have that not even he could be privy to.

The only thing tethering him to reality is your soft voice calling his name, the most soothing rhythm in the world as your body begins to shake, heat building as you approach your release.

“Yuta,” you whimper, “m’close.”

Warmth spreads across his body, knowing he’s the one making you feel good, taking care of you, loving you, like nobody else ever could. His motions pick up, messily grinding his tongue against your cunt as you pull him into you. Everywhere he presses feels like flames, heat pricking over every inch of your body.

His name leaves your lips like a prayer as you come undone on his tongue, a series of whines reverberating against you from Yuta as he continues messily lapping you up, desperate for anything more you’re willing to give him.

When he finally pulls his face away from between your legs he’s immediately back on top of you, his lips pressing into yours with the same feral desire. His breath is hot against yours as you taste yourself on him, the entire thing overwhelming your mind as your body comes down from its high.

Pausing for only a moment, his eyes flutter open as he looks down at you, a gentle sheen of sweat across your features, grass surrounding your hair, cheeks a soft pink. Everything about you so, absolutely, undeniably perfect.

“Mine,” he whispers to himself, so quietly you nearly don’t catch it, before his lips are on yours again.

[yusiyomogi]

(tw discussion of food-related trauma, eating disorder, suicide)

i'm starting to think that chara possibly had some sort of trauma related to food. well, i know that we're probably never gonna find out, but some things we know about them do make me feel that way.

first of all, we know that they most likely had a bad experience at home and that's why they came to the mountain. many kind of parental neglect include accidental or purposeful starvation of the children. some of the behaviors they had could possibly be signs of that sort of trauma. some quotes imply they ate pie with their bare hands, they always filled their glass with water to the brim when they wanted to drink and now we know that they connected "getting a high number of something" to the feeling of security and safety.

yknow, if you have a maximum number of everything, you will never run out? it reminds me of food hoarding, something that many people who were traumatized by fear of starvation develop. the way they focused on the fact that the fridge in asgore house didn't have any chocolate (implied that toriel always had a bar of chocolate in the fridge for them; was it to help with their anxiety?)

and finally, very upsetting factor of… everything about buttercup flowers. the fact that they had an idea of putting some random flowers into food. that they laughed this off: does this imply that they had a similar experience in the past and thought it was fine?… and the way they chose to kill themself, by eating those flowers. i don't know if any of this make sense.

[mimastuff]

Hello! I'm having a bit of a rough time so I thought I'd send this ask. What would the turtles be like with a S/O that has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they help them if their depression is bad enough that on some days they can't get out of bed, forget to eat, etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/kinda chubby and insecure about it.

I love this request !! I totally relate to this one so there was a lot of writing <3

TW: mentions of ptsd , swearing, pet names, depression, eating disorder , anxiety, physical touch

——————————————————————————

Raph

- he would i understand completely abut how you feel

- Especially after the krang

- He would wake up after horrible nightmares

- To this day he still has them

- But , that being said if he were to like touch you on your waist and your flinching due to PTSD

- Or he does something that triggers it

- If you guys are in the lair , he would pull you aside and talk about it.

- If your bad at communicating how you feel he will most likely comfort you till you eventually have the right head space to talk

- He will sit you in his lap and hold you until the feeling passes over

- But if you’re not to good with physical affection he will sit you down on his bed while he makes you breath properly

- His main goal is to make sure that you know that your safe

- He is always here for you

- And he will make that known.

- If you guys are in your living space then he will guide you to the kitchen where he will most likely make you your favourite hot beverage.

- He knows that I can be hard to speak so he will send you to your room to calm down

- Once you have calmed he will ask what’s wrong but if you don’t want to talk about it he is totally cool with that

- If you do however he is all ears on you

- He will say whatever you need.

- When he starts noticing your depression and not getting out of bed he will come to you and lay with you till you’re ready to get up.

- He stars motivating you

- If all else fails he would much rather you did this at his place

- It’s easier in his eyes to take care of you

- His brothers also help with the depression

- You and doctor feelings have designated days where you can have a talking session

- It doesn’t even need to be about the problem, he will always listen to a friend.

- Raph does not care for your size

- Like at all.

- He loves and I mean LOVES your thighs and tummy

- He goes feral

- Also cuddles are heavenly to him

- Like he loves you so much

- Your just so squishy

- He thinks you look hot in anything so don’t be alarmed if he stares at you randomly

- He just loves you and your body

- He said this to you, and I quote “you’re a little bit chubby. So fuckin’ what.”

- Oh. And he meant it as well

- And he sure as heck will make it known that he thinks your cute

- Compliments you allll dayyyy longggg

- With the food situation, he ain’t gonna shove it down ya throat

- That’s not who he is

- He loves you and wants to take things slow

- He asks mikey to make you food which be will gladly do

- Seeing your drooling mouth over his dishes is always a win for both him and raph.

Donnie

- ok , let’s get this straight , he could not care less about your size

- The fact is that you love him . A TURTLE

- So why couldn’t he love someone as soft as you!!!

- That man goes more feral than raph

- Like all Donnie wants is too lay his head on your lap while talking about his inventions and science

- He really loves your cheeks

- NOT YOUR BUTT

- Welll…

- Any ways , he loves grazing his fingers on your face and his cheeks on yours

- He just thinks that they are tooo cuteee

- He knew about your depression and anxiety before you even did

- He saw the signs before anyone did

- And that’s why you love him

- He would stop by yours to make sure you ok

- Blaming it on ‘I just wanted to show you my invention and ooo is that a tv I see In your room ?? You wanna watch something’

- Let him win.

- Please.

- He thinks he is being smooth

- We all know he is not

- Let him be , pleaseeee

- With the PTSD he completely understands your situation

- He however might be a little ummm

- Let’s say , controlling when it comes to being around people

- Like he would want only you to come to him for advice

- But he would do it like raph

- Pull you aside you so two can deal with it together

- He has good intentions, he just wants to help you

- But he can’t help it if he wants to also spend time with you

- In his eyes it’s a win win

- When he sees you anxious

- I head cannon him to have a build in anxiety detector in his goggles just for you Lmaooo

- But it’s cute , all he wants to do is look out for you

- But he will pull you aside and not let you do anything you don’t want to

- He is trying so hard

- He loves you so so much

- He just has a hard time expressing it

- With the eating , he may result into threatening to feed you

- He isn’t serious

- Take no notice of him , he’s just a silly guy

- He would make you meals tho

- That guys can follow instructions like there is no tomorrow

Mikey

- soo he is like so good at comforting due to him being the youngest child

- The thing is that when you have anxiety he will pick up on it before it happens like Donnie

- He is more than likely gonna calm you down before he escorts you out

- He feels it’s best as it means you two can talk through how you feel after it happens

- He is so good when you over think things

- If your anything like me , you tend to make things bigger than they acctually are

- Doctor delicate touch will handle that one easy

- “baby , with all do respect . STOP MAKING THINGS BIGGER THAN THEY NEED TO BE. Okay my love ?🥺🥺”

- He will be the one to plan all the fun dates that you would actually enjoy just to kick your depression in the ass so you can get up

- He would remind you to eat throughout the day and would take care of you when needed

- He would also make sure that you would brush your teeth , do your laundry etc

- If you find it cringey , or tell him to stop worrying

- GOOD it’s working

- His little devilish plan is taking over

- See in his eyes , if he was to check up on you so much , you would do it before he said it so that you would get praise from him

- Simple!

- And it actually works for a while

- With your Weight

- He actually is in love

- Like I see him going for a bigger person

- Like he is smooth as all heck so how could you not resist his impeccable charm !!

- He loves da booty and the tummy

- Favourite cuddling position is spooning

- This is so he feels every squishy part of you

- It’s his fav to also bury is face in your neck

- He finds it comfortable

- He also loves lying on your chest

- He is in love with the feeling

- With the PTSD he would swoop you up from the situation

- And take you two a more sensory comfortable space

- You would not force you to do anything you didn’t want

- He would also care for you like no tomorrow

- Want food ? Here is a three coarse meal !

- Want a drink ? He is your favourite that I have stacks of in the refrigerator that I don’t even like all too well

- He is just a sweetheart when it comes to his lover <33

Leo

- He is going to use his one-liners to the fullest

- If you are not crying , you are now

- Only with laughter of course !!

- He would be the partner that would hold you while you cry your eyes out

- I can imagine him rocking back and fourth

- If you are not comfortable with that then he is totally going to respect your boundaries

- But he will tuck you in his bed while you rest up from the anxiety

- He knows what it can do to and he always wakes you up with your favourite meal and drink <3

- He really loves movie nights so if the depression gets bad to the point where getting up is a struggle

- BAM ! Your favourite movie is on in HD , surround sound and in a volume of your choice !

- He always knows what’s best for you

- But he always knows your habits so that nail Biting habit and hair pulling is out of the door while he is in the room

- He is constantly trying to change your attention to something else

- Please just stop

- Just for him 🥺

- He needs to know trying works

- It will help you and him.

- He loves to help you through the PTSD because you two can relate to so much stuff

- (In my opinion) he had one of the worst experiences during the krang

- So you two will trauma bond

- Mark my words.

- That man is a very good sweet talker

- Trust me he will have you up in the mornings , teeth brushed , full with food in no time.

- With the weight situation

- He literally could not believe his ears when you told him that you were insecure

- Bro was flabbergasted 😮

- He just sat there

- Comprehending it all.

- How can someone like you not love well , you !

- Your too perfect in his eyes

- He definitely loves to lay on your stomach and just stare at you

- With sparkles in his eyes

- As you vent out to him.

- He really loves you for who you are

- And nothin will change that.

——————————————————————————

Omg I love this one ! It took me a while to do it but that because there was sooo much to add !! I hope you all have a good day or night !! :D ❤️❤️

[sideblogforquery-argh]

People are not using pronouns, using wrong words, but I don’t remind anyone verbally. TW: Su1cide, s3lf h4rm, anorex1a mentions.

TLDR at bottom, I appreciate if anyone reads this or has any advice. Other key points in bold.

I’m sorry this is so long, and I promise this is about nonbinary stuff, but there are Complications, if you will:

1. Autistic doormat. (Professionally diagnosed)

2. Anxious and hates confrontation of any kind.

3. Chronic pain that stops me from going places and doing things.

4. Long history of depression, anxiety, s3lf h4rm, su1cide attempts.

5. Speak in a high pitched voice (not natural, forced again by anxiety of being viewed as competent and mature and not having my limitations taken seriously)

6. Have feminine mannerisms.

7. Have a very slight build and feminine features.

8. I have not had IRL friends for ten years, or online friends for about six.

9. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

10. Underweight, low key restrictive eating disorder (I will gladly maintain current weight, but comment on my body, eating habits or try to feed me more and the anorex1a says Hello. Also maintaining low weight to avoid “filling out” as much as possible in breast area.)

I’m 25 and nonbinary. I’ve known I was nonbinary since 2014/2015. I had come out verbally to my mom many years ago, maybe around 2017. Came out to brother via a written sign on my door and then a short verbal confirmation in late spring last year. At my high school graduation last year (age 24) I had my write up read aloud by the principal include “I look forward to being my authentic enby self” and I wore a pronoun pin and necklace. My grandparents were also at the ceremony. I reactivated my Facebook account and posted an artistic image and write up explaining my pronouns, name, etc. I have a variety of pride and pronoun items, pins on my backpack, a They/Them pronoun necklace, a keychain. I usually have some sort of sign declaring my pronouns and sometimes my name on my door. I even attended my local Pride parade and festival last August with my mom. Also since coming out I have explored neopronouns and I like to use Ae/Aer for myself.

Now, as mentioned at the very top, I am a doormat. I hate being bother, I have had huge mental and physical health challenges. I always want to help, to do things, I’ve been trapped at home with no pain free or easy way to go into town. I’ve been alone for a very long time, not attending school, and then trying to do it by myself online. I am also AFAB and I generally don’t present in a “gender non-conforming” matter. (Put in quotes because I am not a girl) Just the other night, there was a talking head on the news who’s name was Tiana* and my mom gleefully exclaimed “her name is Tiana*, she has the same name as you! You almost never hear anyone with the name Tiana*!”

ANYWAYS, to the point, I can never manage to bring myself to verbally remind anyone to use my pronouns. I can’t discuss my dysphoria with anyone, including my counsellor, which has really increased in the last few months. My counsellor had to be told what gender dysphoria is, and he’s trying but I don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it. My PMDD is also not only making my mental health in general really mad, but increasing my gender dysphoria. I have tried birth control for this, and it resulted in a suicide attempt.

I came out a year ago now to the wider family network / world, but it feels like everyone has completely ignored that fact. I came out of the closet, but a new, iron maiden style one has been built around me by anyone and everyone who perceives “me.”

I put “me” is quotation marks because it’s not actually me that anyone is seeing or talking to, it’s the mirage of a past person. I just feel so weak and pathetic, I don’t speak up for myself, I just let it happen. I don’t exist, not according to how I am referred to my people the vast majority of the time. They/them does get used at home frequently, but more often it’s my birth name. I’ve gone through waves of uncomfortable indifference to just feeling really shitty, having an abuse of use of that name, where now I am starting to not feel neutral but dislike it. It’s always, “Tiana* this”, and “it’s in Tiana’s* room,” “I think Tiana* has it, don’t you?”

I just feel hopeless. I don’t see myself ever being able to exist as actually myself. If I can’t remind my family in my safe home to use my pronouns; or that I want to use a different name, OR that (body pain permitting) I’d probably like to have my breasts and nipples removed; how am I supposed to reminded anyone else? The massage therapist, the doctor, the other pain specialist, the orthopaedic surgeon, the counsellor, the psychiatrist, the osteopath, anyone and everyone who I’ve ever met before who just, “she/her’s” and “Tiana*’s” me.

*Tiana is not actually my name, it is used for example purposes only.

TLDR: I have a variety of visual objects and signs that describe my pronouns and nonbinary-ness, but I have almost never reminded anyone verbally to use my pronouns and that I am not a girl. The most I can do is squeak out “they” quietly. How can I actually be brave and speak up for myself for once?

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

💖 Angel Dust 💖

VOs:

Michael Kovach (pilot)

Blake Roman (series)

Theme songs:

Canon:

AU:

Fave quote:

“IT’S NOT AN ACT!!! It's who I need to be. [Crosses arms to chest.] And this... [Gestures to the redlight street.] This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... Everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe... If I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go...”

Basics:

True name: Anthony

Surname (AU): Romano-D'Amico

Birthday: 1st of April

Sex: Male

Year of Death: 1947

Cause of Death: Drug overdose (angel dust)

Sexuality: Gay

Age: 30s (biological)

Zodiac sign: Aries ♈️

Height: 8ft (including the heels he wears)

Nationality: Italian 🇮🇹

Bed type: Submissive

Species:

• Human being (formerly)

• Sinner Demon (jumping spider)

Style of speech: Slang

<> Accent(s):

<> New Yorker (standard)

<> Italian twang (when really emotional)

Occupation(s):

• Adult film star (pornography)

• Sex worker

• Drag queen

Other:

• Unnamed mafia (formerly 💀)

Likes:

• Husk (implied)

• Drugs

• Being abrasive

• Pranks

• Getting into scraps

• Cooking

• Flirting

• The colour pink

• Monetary gain

• Italian food

• Dancing (implied)

AU:

• Duets with Husk 🤭

• Pet names

<> Except for Whorebug (which is the only one he dislikes; most likely because that’s what Valentino calls him)

• Being called by his birth name

Dislikes:

• His feet

• Losing credibility

• Valentino’s abuse

• Memorising scripts

• Niffty getting into trouble

<> Niffty handling weapons

• Anyone pointing out his facade

<> Being called fake

• How expensive drugs & alcohol cost him

• Anyone else ending up like him

• Anyone discrediting his acting

• Charlie involving herself with Valentino’s affairs

• Forecast conditions

<> confirmed but not canonically shown yet ~ Viv stated that he doesn’t like weather the same way as a dog is scared of thunder

• Politics

AU:

• Being triggered when it comes to ownership of Angel & Husk’s (respective) “owners”

• Niffty being talked about (negatively)

• Kat’s life choices

<> Her occupation of being an exotic dancer (because it hits too close to home for Angel and wished she picked a more safer career)

<> Her doing drugs

<> Her rebellion

• Being called “kid” by Husk (considering technically Angel is older than him in Hell since he died first 🤣)

• People being ageist and vindictive about his relationship with Husk

Flaws:

• Agoraphobia (anxiety disorder)

<> PTSD

<> Panic disorder

<> Specific phobias

• Animotophobia (fear of emotions)

• Drug addict

• Victim of abuse (by Valentino)

<> Emotionally

<> Sexually (SA)

<> Mentally

<> Physically

• Neurotic

<> Particularly when really, really REALLY pissed off

• Alcoholic

• PTSD

<> Age regression (very common in people with PTSD)

• ADHD

• Self esteem issues (emotionally)

• Physical strength

• Low Frustrated Tolerance

• Self destructive

• Nymphomania (sex addict)

• Parasomnia

<> Night terrors

<> Insomnia

<> Sleep paralysis

<> Sexsomnia 🤣

• Borderline Personality Disorder (environmental)

Strengths:

• High alcohol tolerance

• Carnality

• Character growth (potentially)

<> To the point where Angel Dust may even drop his alias and just become “Anthony”

• Clean (drug-free)

• Physical attractiveness

Romantic interests:

Ex-boyfriend: Valentino (indirectly implied)

<> Definitely hinted at in the song “Poison” — obviously very early into the relationship before things went severely downhill

Husk (canonically implied)

AU/RP:

Stolas of the Ars Goetia (FWB / client)

Axel White (FWB / client)

Family:

Mother: Unnamed

Father: Henroin

(older) Brother: Arackniss

(fraternal) twin sister: Molly

Other (surrogate family):

(surrogate) Sister: Charlie Morningstar

(surrogate) Daughter: Niffty 😂

(surrogate) Daughter: Crymini (TBA)

Role-play (RP):

Husband: Husk 🤭

(surrogate) Sister: Snow Dust (OC)

(bio) Daughter 1#: Kat Dust (OC)

(Future) Daughter-in-law: T.J. Buckzo

(bio) Daughter 2#: Luster Dust (OC)

Aliases:

• Angie (by Cherri Bomb)

• Mi Amore (by Valentino 🤮)

<> Angel Cakes

• Whorebug (by Sir Pentious)

<> Spider

<> Striped Freak

• My Effeminate Fellow (by Alastor)

• Angel

• Slut (by Travis)

AU:

• Anthony (by Husk 🥰)

* Tony

* Ant

(Given the nickname because of how antsy Angel is and can be with his ADHD ~ also for the fact that it’s hilarious that he’s a spider only to be called another insect name)

<> Baby etc

<> Mama (affectionately)

<> Little Incubus

<> Loser (affectionately)

<> Baby doll / baby girl

• A.D. (by T.J., Snow Dust & Blitz)

• Papà (by Luster)

• Daddy (by Kat)

• Fratellino (by Arackniss)

Translation: “Little Brother”

<> Tony

• Romano-D’Amico (AU surname)

Affiliations:

• Hazbin Hotel (patron)

• Porn Studios (workplace)

• The Vee Tower (formerly residency)

<> Not confirmed but definitely implied in the music video “Poison” and “ADDICT”

Other:

• The Black Dot (1x04)

• Consent (1x06)

Friends:

• Charlie Morningstar

• Cherri Bomb (close friend)

• Niffty

• Husk (best friend — TBA)

<> Vivziepop has previously described Husk as Angel's "best friend" during later development streams for the pilot, suggesting that their relationship may be planned to greatly improve

Others:

• Fat Nuggets (pet)

Porn Studio employees (co-workers):

<> Dia

<> Summer

<> Kitty

<> Travis (client & director)

The Vees (acquainted):

<> Vox

<> Velvette

Hazbin Hotel employees (acquainted):

<> Alastor

<> Vaggie

• Sir Pentious (former enemy)

<> Egg Boiz (former enemies)

• Tiffany Titfucker (rival)

RP:

Axel (rival —> one sided)

Enemies:

• Valentino (boss, pimp, and owner)

• Sir Pentious (formerly)

• Exorcists

<> Adam

<> Lute

Abilities:

• Retractable set of arms

• Weapon proficiency

• Weather sensitivity

• Athleticism

• Cooking

• Bilingualism

<> Can speak one or two languages only; which is much different to multilingualism)

• Flexibility

Appearance & Personality:

Angel has a slender build and is the tallest of the main cast of characters. He is estimated to stand around 8 feet with his heels on.

His fur is white and he has a mop of fluffy white hair that extends from both the front and back of his head, with splotches of light-pink across it. He also has a distinctive and focal light-pink heart pattern on the back of his head. The light-pink outline of a heart also encircles his chest, the bottom point of which extends past his waistband and down to his crotch area.

His eyelids are light pink and the color extends up to his eyebrows, giving the effect of eyeshadow, and his lashes are dark and thick.

His irises are cerise pink. His right eye has a light yellow sclera, his left eye has a dark sclera. He has a wide mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth and possesses a single golden fang that sits slightly to his right of center, a feature he shares with his boss, Valentino. He has three cerise-pink dots under each of his eyes, which are intended to evoke freckles, although they are actually another set of smaller eyes.

One of Angel's most noticeable features is his prominent chest. The chest is actually composed entirely of fluffy fur, however, which Angel intentionally pushes up into a breast-like formation with his tightly pinned jacket for show.

Angel's everyday attire consists of a long light pink suit-blazer with horizontal white stripes down the length, reddish-grey miniskirt, and long reddish-grey thigh-high heeled boots, accessorized with a reddish-grey bowtie with a cerise pink center and a black choker. On his top set of arms he wears long cerise pink gloves with white detailing at the cuffs, on his bottom set of arms he wears long white gloves.

Though usually depicted with six limbs, Angel has a third retractable set of arms that he usually keeps hidden but can summon at will.

In background artwork seen in the pilot, Angel Dust's feet resemble those of a spider's.

How would you describe Angel Dust’s personality?

• Reckless

• Sexual (OTT)

• Sarcastic

• Sharp-witted

• Destructive

• Playful

• Vulgar

• Confident (excessive)

• Flippant

• Callous

• Cynical

<> Particularly about the idea of redemption however has a small hopeful part that it’s possible for him

As Anthony:

• Defensive

• Family orientated

• Shy

<> Through copping constant abuse from Valentino which would often make him nervous in his presence

• Hopeful

• Self assertive (outside the Porn Studios contract)

• Volatile

• Comedic (genuinely)

• Inferior

<> Seen when Charlie declared Sir Pentious as “official patron” at the Hazbin Hotel

• Attentive

<> Seen when Angel Dust rejected Cherri Bomb’s offered drugs after Husk mentioned about “undoing his progress”

• Protective

• Traumatised (via “Poison” at the end)

• Broken

Trivia:

• When it comes to physical contact Angel Dust always backs away (which is common in SA victims) seen with both Husk in “Masquerade” to bring him back to the hotel and Vaggie when throwing him off the building for a trust exercise

• The more Angel Dust (Anthony) gets upset the more his (New Yorker) accent gets thicker and automatically breaks out of his persona

• If Angel Dust hadn’t died at 30 years old he would have been around the same age as Husk if not somewhere between 12 years younger

<> However Angel is actually older than Husk down in Hell because he died first (which is kinda cool)

• Angel & Charlie have a “brother/sister” relationship (both Headcanon and implied but not confirmed)

• In a earlier draft of Angel’s character it appeared that when he blushed it showed on his upper body (face and chest area)

• Blake Roman (Angel Dust’s VA in the Hazbin Hotel series) is a huge Huskerdust fan

• Angel Dust’s birthday lands on April Fools Day (which explains he loves pranks so much 🤭)

• The name Anthony may come from the word "antonia", which means "priceless/praiseworthy and or beautiful".

<> His real name officially appears in the episode "Masquerade", signed on Valentino's soul contract.

• "Angel Dust" is Angel's chosen all-encompassing persona name, and one he uses exclusively in place of his actual name. It is intended as multipurpose for both his drag queen persona and his sex-work persona.[30] It is also a possible reference to his mode of death, a drug overdose.

* Whenever Angel is outside of work and doesn't feel the need to maintain his public persona, he prefers to dress in very cozy, comfortable, unsexualized clothing.

• In an earlier development stream, when asked if Angel is venomous, Vivziepop stated she did not think Angel was venomous due to being based on the jumping spider. However, she returns to this in a later stream, stating that Angel's bite may be venomous. But, that venom in Hell can't actually kill anyone, it just causes temporary pain or disfigurement and making them fall ill.

• During the gang war with Sir Pentious, when Angel's shadow is cast behind him, it appears much larger than him, with six arms and glowing red eyes. This implies that Angel can possibly transform into a larger form like other sinner demons.

References:

https://hazbinhotel.fandom.com/wiki/Angel_Dust

[grim-wildwood]

Digital Tools

(For the Witch)

•☽────✧˖°˖⛤˖°˖✧────☾•

You may be thinking, "Locke, you're devoted to the Old Way. Why are you blogging about technology?"

Well, the truth is: I love technology. It makes my life easier, and when it comes to witchcraft, I have found so many different tools to both boost my academic productivity and help keep my focus.

So, without further ado, here are five free programs that I use to study witchcraft with:

Canva Whiteboard

Planable

Google Keep

Finch

Live Transcribe

Now, I know that new software can be a bit hard to digest, especially if a witch is inexperienced with technology to begin with. So, let me break down everything for you. I've kept all my information short, snappy, and easy to grasp right away.

Canva Whiteboard

Pros

Visual organization

Customizable templates

Infinite space

Cloud storage

Cons

Learning curve

Text limitations

A lot of people use Canva for making lovely little infographics, icons, and wallpapers. What they don't know is that Canva has a whiteboard function that allows their users to play with sticky notes, shapes, stickers, multimedia, graphics, and more. I find this absolutely perfect for making mind maps, keeping sigils, and keeping a visual record of herbs and crystals.

This is great for visual-style learners who like to study with minimal writing.

Planable

Pros

Aesthetic layout

Customizable font

Group editing

Tagging system

Cloud storage

Cons

Limit of 50 articles for free

You must sign up as a "company" (I say coven!)

Mobile app does not allow note editing

Planable was originally designed for planning professional social media posts. However, it's also fantastic for keeping long-form notes. It has all the writing tools you could possibly need for making in-depth articles, plotting out the content of your grimoire, and hosting live study groups. It can handle any multimedia you throw at it. It also has an app in beta for viewing your notes on the fly.

Great for witches who love hoarding all their knowledge in one cozy spot.

Google Keep

Pros

Customizable note backgrounds

Voice memos

Drawings

Tagging system

Cloud storage

Cons

Only has basic font customization

Images only (no video compatibility)

It's short; it's sweet. Google Keep (or simply Keep) is an ad-free notes app that gets down to the nitty-gritty. It's best for lists, checkboxes, short-form notes, and posting pretty pictures all in between.

Finch

Pros

Cute and easy app design

Turns goals into a game

Guided meditiation

Daily affirmations

Recieve uplifting messages from friends

Cons

Requires a healthy/newer phone to run

Only available on Google Play Store

Finch is charming, useful, and an anchor all bundled into one. Aimed for self-care, this app is no standard pet simulator. Your finch brings genuine companionship from a place of love, sending you affirmations, inspiring quotes, and offering compassion in hard times. You raise your finch by setting and completing goals for yourself, whether it be for self-care, everyday tasks, magick, or all three. The app also offers guided meditation, emergency panic/anxiety attack regulation, journaling, motivation check-ins, and other various emotional wellbeing activities.

The best way to do magick is with a clear and calm mind. Finch is perfect for facilitating this!

Live Transcribe

Pros

Minimalistic

Instant loading time

Transcribes in multiple languages at once

Offline usage

Cons

May occasionally mishear you

Doesn't shy away from transcribing vulgar language

If the app is closed, you will lose your previous transcription unless history is turned on

Turn it on and let it work! Live Transcribe takes verbage and turns it into a live and fairly accurate transcript for you to format into notes. I personally love finding short video documentaries on history and witchy how-tos to transcribe.

Great for learning and retaining verbal information for witches who may have an audio processing disorder. It's also good for the humble act of hoarding knowledge.

I hope that you find good use out of these digital tools! Have a lovely rest of your week, and enjoy a breath of fresh organization. 🌿✨️

•☽────✧˖°˖⛤˖°˖✧────☾•

[martyrbat]

martyrtodd, my beloved, I see your disability takes and as someone who is physically and mentally disabled I appreciate them and hold them close to my heart.

I humbly ask for some disabled Jason headcanons

goosey my beloved <3 im so glad you're enjoying them and i offer mere samples on how far deep the disabled jason todd rabbit hole can go <3

im mixing in some that he should just canonly have and personal hcs (plus a bit of self projection) but hopefully you'll like any of these too :3

schizoaffective disorder

more prone to mania outbursts

can be extremely delusional

paranoia and anxiety -> isolating

psychosis

(lots of people give him hallucinations due to his ptsd but i think he experiences a range of it and in different levels of intrusiveness!)

(and fun fact, children under 16 who experienced trauma are more than 3x likely to have psychosis as an adult! up to 50x if its severe!)

autistic

literally just a given. look at him. autism coded.

deaf/hard of hearing

always had poor hearing

fast visual learner because of it

has multiple pairs of hearing aids he wore as robin to "keep his identity secret"

bruce taught him asl

batman and robin used a lot of nonverbal cues and their own version of sign language on patrol too. (batman teaches it to the others when hes gone and jason cries)

as a kid he had a gun shot near him & developed tinnitus

^ only worsened as time went on

it gets overbearing after he comes back to life due to the beating he received and literally dying in an explosion

it continued until he got Lazarus Pitted. but that ringing was replaced with silence & most of his hearing fully gone

gains more due to close proximity with firearms and explosions constantly

terrifies him as his hearing loss got worse.

like full on sobbing terrifies.

he spent his entire life relying on his senses and wayne techs always improving technology to keep himself and others safe. with that fully removed it leaves him feeling vulnerable

'how will i know if im alone? if someone is sneaking up on me or im being too loud? if someone is screaning for help just out of eyesight?'

so much fear !

but! he grows to accept it and use it to his advantage and

helmet rigged to have sensors that alert him of almost anything around him

and so sensitive to the vibration of any sound to where he can pinpoint anyone

will close his eyes/remove his hearing aids when arguing so he doesnt 'hear' them

really into heavier music for the bass and drum vibration

fully deaf by the time he reaches his 30s

speech

(this one can be effected by all but)

severe speech delay as a child

repeated lines/quotes mostly to express his feelings because he's autistic and its easier than coming up with the words yourself

semi nonverbal

damaged vocal cords, gets hoarsed easily/painful to talk for too long

stims by clicking his tongue against his teeth

^^ became a tic !

chronic pain

a given for anyone but especially jason

from the streets and not being able to afford a doctor

to as robin and the injuries he received

to dying

to being forcefully brought back to life

to the Lazarus Pit

just so much pain. he cant remember a time he wasnt in pain. its the one thing that'll always be consistent no matter what.

chronic migraine haver, u can tell

talia tries her best to help ease it and make sure he has meds/the fake id and doctor to keep his prescriptions

his shoulder, head, and hips get the worse flares

would push himself as robin too much and made it worse

allows his body the rest as an adult, using that time to do his scheming and think of every detail/possible route in it

misc.

had NAS

picks at his skin if overstressed

being poor can and will make your health worse. from stress to not being able to get the help you need and something small becoming chronic or permanent

extreme fatigue

so many burns and damaged nerve tissue :(

i think about that one batwoman comic where he lost an eye in a future timeline constantly

OCD

periodically gets bad tremors in his hands

again. so fucking autistic coded.

[saltiestgempearl]

I wanted to talk about a favorite headcanon of mine regarding Dr. Jack Seward that @throwawaydracula shared with me a while back. It centers around this line, way back in the September 3 entry:

How can he'—and he pointed at me with the same look and gesture as that with which once he pointed me out to his class, on, or rather after, a particular occasion which he never fails to remind me of—'know anything of a young ladies? He has his madmen to play with, and to bring them back to happiness, and to those that love them.

Except, that isn't exactly the wording in the original book. In the original book, it says "He has his madams to play with, and to bring them back to happiness, and to those that love them." Many people write this off as a typo to the point of changing it to "madmans" or "madmen" in some versions.

But what if it wasn't a typo?

The word "madam" implies an older woman, like anywhere from middle-aged to elderly. And at the time, it was not at all uncommon for women in this age group to be sent to asylums to recuperate. Sometimes it was just a way to get female relatives you didn't like out of the way, but sometimes it wasn't.

You see, many Victorians (men and women alike) unironically bought into the "delicate woman" narrative. People really, genuinely thought women were just psychologically more predisposed to mental instability (we saw this most in Dracula with how the group treated Mina— that wasn't really malicious, it was generally accepted as almost medical fact by many during this period.) I don't have the exact quote, but I think Van Hellsing, at one point, mentions a French doctor who had the idea that men could also suffer from hysteria, and that was actually considered pretty groundbreaking at the time.

Anyway, the headcanon is that Seward actually started out as a relatively low-level psychologist at an asylum, primarily working with middle-aged to elderly women. And being the inquisitive man he is, he interacted with the patients in a less-than-conventional way, letting them talk about things that would normally be considered signs of imbalance by the contemporary medical community (e.g., "sometimes I wish I'd never had my children," "sometimes I just want as little to do with my husband as possible," "honestly those suffragettes make some good points," etc.). This isn't to say he was some feminist icon mind you; he didn't even necessarily agree or legitimize these ideas. But he didn't shoot them down either—he just listened. And by engaging with the women in this way, he was essentially exploring some of what we now call talk therapy, which was very much not a thing at this time. He may have also tried to be supportive of their hobbies, which while not unheard of (institutions like Bedlam set a precedent for this), was not the most common thing either.

So he did this for a while, and surprise surprise, it actually helped these women quite a bit. He quickly got a reputation for being someone who was unusually gifted in turning around cases of "nervous disorders" that were so common with these delicate womenfolk.

But then some higher-ups decided "oh, well if he's good with this, he must be good with insane people too." So despite being a 29-year-old budding psychologist in a very young field, he suddenly found himself the head of an asylum with a very different sort of population.

Given why he was put in this position, Jack naturally continues using the methods that helped his former patients recover so spectacularly. The issue is, of course, that people who are dealing with psychosis or other more serious conditions generally need a different approach than neglected women with anxiety. Basic talk therapy isn't going to cut it with someone like Renfield.

But again, this field is very young, so Seward is actually relatively limited on how much he can research this. So he continues with his talk therapy, but then adds things like straightjackets into the mix when his patients have meltdowns because that was also a relatively accepted solution at the time (though not universally so; even in Bram Stoker's time, there were some professionals in the field who had figured out that this type of manual restraint was not helpful and honestly not humane.)

It's also possible that Jack might have had some criticism early on for not being firm enough with his more "difficult" patients, so he might have overcompensated for that by using the straightjacket solution more often when things got out of hand.

And finally, Jack also has his mad scientists tendencies that he openly grapples with in his diary—you know, the sort that caused him to make wildly irresponsible decisions like "let's let Renfield escape, but supervised, and see what happens." And since Jack was the head of the hospital, no one shot down this obviously ridiclous idea because they probably didn't have the authority to.

And then even with the more recent events, Quincey and Van Hellsing didn't voice their doubts about Jack's "we are not going to let Renfield leave the asylum despite him begging us to do that" plan until they were out of the room, and even then gave in pretty quickly because Jack is considered the authority on this in the group.

TL;DR: The headcanon is "maybe Van Hellsing did mean 'madams' because Jack started off wildly successful in treating older women with anxiety, and as a result was catapulted into a much more powerful position he was neither properly trained for nor mentally ready for."

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

[radishhqueen]

i know I've talked about it a few times on the internet in passing, but i have an eating disorder called ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). kinda does what it says on the tin. every ARFID-haver has a different experience, with different bad foods and safe foods, and for different reasons, but it mostly boils down to avoiding eating for reasons related to 1) bad textures 2) fear of vomiting/getting sick and/or 3) just a general lack of interest.

buzzfeed just published an article yesterday detailing a bit more about ARFID and some quotes from some individuals who have it. since it wasn't added to the DSM until 2013, it's still not widely known about. i didn't have a name for the thing that framed my whole relationship with food until 2020! it would mean a lot to me if people could take the time to read the article and maybe share it around. :)

a little bit about my experiences with ARFID below the cut:

tl;dr: the more people are aware of ARFID, the more likely people are to get helped. more info on the r/ARFID subreddit. if this sounds like you, you're not the only one going through this!

I'm very lucky in the sense that I've gotten a lot better at eating since i was a kid. most of my problems with food are related to texture, and my bad textures pretty much rule out all meats, fish, poultry, and a lot of mushy things, like mashed potatoes and cooked onions. these textures make up a lot of my region's cultural foods, so growing up i had a solid 10-15 foods that i could reliably eat, and i started showing signs of ARFID as soon as my parents started giving me solid foods.

i was accused as a kid of being a picky eater, and was told I'd grow out of it. the thing is: i desperately wanted to be able to eat normally! i wanted to be able to eat whatever my family cooked, or go over to a friend's house without being scared of what was for dinner! but if i tried to eat anything with a "bad texture", I'd end up gagging and eventually throwing up. this is not pleasant for anyone involved. this quickly turned into an aversion to trying new things, as i was scared of gagging and the annoyance of the people around me.

throughout all of this, i never met anyone who had similar issues to me. adults in my life would compare it to how they didn't like XYZ food as a child, but eventually got over it. i kept waiting for the magic switch in my brain to flip over, and it didn't. i had a lot of mental health issues as a kid unrelated to food, but the shame and loneliness i felt around eating certainly did not help.

the magic switch in my brain never flipped. it still hasn't. what did change was I moved out and suddenly had complete control over my own diet. for the first time, i didn't have to force myself to try to eat food without throwing up. my friends in college didn't even know about my extensive issues with food until i told them. but once I had that judgment free space, i was able to push at those boundaries that had been encroaching, and become more and more comfortable with a wider variety of foods.

nowadays, i don't worry about going to restaurants or eating at other people's houses. i still don't eat meat, poultry, or fish. I still can't eat a lot of mushy foods. what changed was suddenly having the space to accept my eating for what it was, and be okay with failing to eat new things. increased anxiety due to the pandemic and y'know. the world. has definitely made food a lot more difficult for me again, but this time i have the support of a community behind me, and it makes a world of difference.

i have to emphasize, throughout all of this i was incredibly lonely. i didn't have the words to describe what i was going through. food has a huge cultural importance, and it was something that i felt disconnected from. i can't blame my parents, because they thought they were doing the right thing, and there was absolutely no guidance on this sort of thing. again: ARFID wasn't added to the DSM until 2013. it is still not widely known about. i have never had a doctor that has already known about ARFID, and i have bounced between a lot of doctors.

if any of this resonates with you, there's an active community on the r/ARFID subreddit. i personally am a member of the associated discord server, and it's been a really great experience to meet a bunch of people who are also dealing with the issues I'd faced alone for my entire life. you're not alone 💕

[echonvoid]

Holy Shit!!! Thank you guys so much for 50 followers!!! Have a celebratory screenshot redraw of the best bois!!

I started with just wanting to draw them with face masks (a strange benefit from quarantine; I never knew how much I loved wearing masks); which led to wanting to draw them wearing merch outfits. I spiraled from there. Raph’s was the hardest cuz I wanted it to be like corpse husband or the dude from Tokyo ghoul; an eyepatch face mask combo. But neither fit. So a teddy bear would do (although now I’ve totally decided it’s a knock off glam rock freddy)

Other headcanon shit:

They all definitely had a Minecraft phase that they will sometimes re-hyperfixate on (Pbbfffttt I’m not projecting I dunno what you’re talking about/s)

Techno’s death hit them all hard. He was definitely a MC CC that they all enjoyed; the potato war was much quoted in their household. He probably passed shortly after the movie, so it was salt in already massive tender wounds.

Dinosaurs was a thing they love because of splinter and the Jurassic Park series; he hyperfixated on them when Jurassic World came out. And they all loved getting to share it with him. It was one of his healthier mental and physical health times when they were growing up. Only Mikey actually ended up hyperfixating on dinosaurs, to the point he’s the only one that can name the more obscure dinosaur species

MCC is sacred. They, splinter, April and all their other friends join. It’s essentially the Super Bowl for them. They all pick/vote on who perspective they’ll watch from (Philza being the most often picked) eventually Draxum is roped in as well (Mikey definitely bonds with him by playing Minecraft with him)

Individual Headcannons:

Leo:

Still has his can, it’s just pretty hidden. He’s a huge Ranboo fan: I mean Gender and Gay? Sign him up. (Also the fact that they can both teleport in some fashion or another is just an added bonus)

It took him a long time to accept his transness; he never felt like he should consider himself that since he’s amab and a demiboy. Finally April and Donnie helped him accept that he’s still trans, transitioning or no.

He still struggles with it, not wanting to take away from “actual” trans people, but he’s working on it. And the fucking comfy ass pj pants really help.

Donnie:

The cape/cloak is supposed to be JoJo’s Bizarre adventure merch (a cloak I saw on their store) but all the cloaks had ridiculous patterns and character art on the back, and I had no fucking idea how I’d even go about doing that. So you get a mosaic esque one instead

The only other merch he’s wearing (except for maybe slippers idk) is a Philza beanie, which of course says Dadza on it; it was given to him as a gift by Mikey in honor of all his robotic children

The non-Bi-nosaur is my pride and joy, it’s based off of this I found while looking for ideas and inspiration (I added the Bi part, god I love puns)

God I want the pants I drew for him. Oh and he’s definitely wearing arthritis gloves to help with pressure sensitivity and joint pain

EDIT: I totally forgot to mention that Donnie’s mask is based on Corpse Husband

Mikey:

Made his own mask based off of some of my own versions of c!Ranboo. He’s a huge fan of beeduo and the whole arc where they adopted Michael. Fell in love with Minecraft bees. They spent weeks drawing the Minecraft family. (Fell out of the fandom cuz of the craziness of the kraang, and all the ccs doing different things)

The jacket is definitely not the same matching pair Tubbo and Ranboo bought; not at all /s

And yes her shirt has a Minecraft EnBee on it.

At this point it’s safe to assume they’re all wearing arthritis gloves to help with all kinds of pain and sensitivities. Mikey’s help with a cooling salve he puts on whenever his scars start feeling like they’re lighting on fire. The glove pressure is just a nice soothing bonus

Raph:

I need to give Poot Raph some more love, he’s definitely how I feel as an eldest sibling and someone with very nasty anxiety disorder. Apparently my love of twins is too powerful

Like Donnie, he has a burning blistering rash along his skin where the kraang infection had been. It healed after a couple weeks but the scarring and irritation remained.

The siblings all compare him to Glamrock Freddy, which to him is the highest honor they could bestow upon him; it really works well since both Freddy and Raph were mind controlled at some point (a fact that they don’t bring up too often)

Raph’s shirt says “Dinosaurs are cool; Transphobia is not” (from the great Jammidodger) and his Jacket is a Techno Memorial hoodie

His right eye can only see in Ultraviolet after the Kraang invasion. The eyepatch is incredibly important so he doesn’t get a sensory overload or blow a breaker in his brain from such different spectrum inputs

This is what he sees:

[drcornwater]

Health Update

For the last year or so, I've been experiencing seizure like symptoms that's altered my life more than I ever could have thought.

It started in April 2022. I got up from my computer chair to grab some coffee while at work (I work from home) and suddenly my eyes went blurry and my knees were weak. I made it to the kitchen counter but knew something was going on so I put my cup down and tried to get back to my chair only a few feet away from me.

I didn't make it and fell to the floor. My head had what felt like pressure in it and it had just exploded out of me. I woke up to carpet burn on my forehead and with my head about 3 inches from my computer chair wheels. I always think about how close I was to whacking my head on those sharp ass wheel covers whenever I think about it.

After that first time, I started having what seemed to be seizures regularly. I would be kind of aware of what was going on, but I was locked out of my body as it seized. I'd slur and get really drooly after one and sometimes I'd just be bedridden for a whole day. I had experienced something similar when I was a teen and in my early 20s, but it was sort of brushed off by my doctor at the time. It went away as I grew older so I never thought about it afterwards.

So after months of waiting and anxiety, I finally got tested in an inpatient epilepsy monitoring unit. Basically that means I was strapped to an EEG for 24 hours to monitor my brain activity and catch an episode as it happened to see if it was epilepsy or something else. After a day, the doc came in and said I had Psychogenic Nonepileptic Seizures.

To quote the above link:

Psychogenic nonepileptic seizure (PNES) involves attacks that resemble epilepsy-related seizures in symptoms and signs, but abnormal electrical activity in your brain doesn’t cause them. Instead, the seizures are a physical reaction to underlying psychological distress.

It's a conversion disorder, meaning my brain has a hard time dealing with extreme stress or anxiety and manifests it physically. It's linked to trauma, personality disorders, and other types of mental issues. I def fall under Trauma and Mental Illness so I wasn't super shocked I was diagnosed with this lmao.

I'm deeply committed to treatment for this. I want to get better. I need to get better. I have a future waiting for me and I want to get there.

This has obviously all been stressful on its own so it feels like it's an ouroboros eating itself. I've missed so much work and the travel to appointments is brutal at times. My partner is so stressed all the time and I feel like a burden with how much she has to dedicate her time to me. I was supposed to get my driver's license when we moved up here, but I can't drive for a year after having a seizure so I'm not doing that anytime soon. We had to move bc I can't make enough money working due to being part time and missing days of work consistently. It just feels like there's more being added onto the plate every month.

And then today

I um. I...

fuck man

I just got out of a meeting with my HR person at work. We talked about how much work I'm missing and how my metrics aren't great and I'm not meeting expectations. There's a lot more going on than just my health at work, but they only see my health issues and want to stick with that. It doesn't matter that everything outside of my health is affecting work.

So my HR person put two options on the table:

I go through the process of filing ADA accommodations. It's a long process where my doctor has to sign off on my ability to work and there's a bunch of paperwork involved and a lot of effort on both sides (me and my work). They made it very obvious they do not want to go down this route.

2. I quit and they can just dust off their hands and move on.

It doesn't really feel like I have a choice at this point. They put a lot of emphasis on how much effort the ADA process is and made quitting more appealing. I know they want to get rid of me and this is them saying "we can get rid of you the easy way or the hard way" since they can't fire me due to health issues legally.

I mean, and they're right. What options do I have? I can't work and it's been proven. I can't. I just can't meet those expectations and I'm taking up a spot for someone who can. I've proved to myself and everyone around me that I literally cannot work in my condition. I've tried and it's just not possible.

The thing that really rubs me is that they have no idea what losing this job means for me. They think I can just leave this job and I'll be able to focus on my health and make the right choices for myself. But really, it completely fucks the plans we made moving up here. I will have to wait for months or even years for disability to kick in, I can't get unemployment after the pandemic bc of complicated reasons, and there's no way I can get another job like this with the flexibility it provided. They see this as the best option when really, it totally destabilizes any security I have in my personal life. I don't have any other options but to keep trying to work.

So much has been taken from me by this fucking medical condition. It's so hard to not be bitter or angry. I had to move in with my in-laws, become financially desperate, and now I've lost my job. I feel like I have nothing of my own left to give at this point. What more could it possibly take? The only thing it hasn't stolen is my relationship and that's the thing I worry most about.

I feel destitute and scared. My entire life has been taken from me in the span of less than a year. It's difficult to describe how hopeless this has left me at times.

So here I am, 10 years later after first experiencing these and I'm in a shockingly similar situation: No job, living with parents, and relying on others for everything. I feel like a fucking loser. I did then, and I feel it now.

But I'm keeping my head up. I have a lot of support and I want to get better. Sarah has been my rock and is the one thing propelling me forward. I can't give up on her. She's put so much effort and love into helping me out on this journey and that just makes me want to push farther every day.

Just send some love my way. I really need it right now. I'm not sure where to go from here but it looks like I'll have to contact Daddy Government again to get on disability. I don't want to have to go through that process, but I feel like it'll be a slam dunk. Hopefully the process isn't dragged on like it is known to.

I can do this.

[ennie-meanie]

ORIGINAL CHARACTER         ⸻         ENYA MARIE FRASER !

 /   ❝   INTRODUCTION   ─    

NAME:         enya marie fraser

⸻ ENYA.         the name is of irish origin and means "fire". this name was picked just due to her parents liking it. 

         • °. ─ PRONOUNCIATION /         eh-nyah

⸻ MARIE.         the name is of french origin and means "star of the sea". this name is a family name on her mother's side. 

        • °. ─ PRONOUNCIATION /         muh-ree

⸻ FRASER.         the name is scottish and means "of the forest men". this is her father's last name. 

        • °. ─ PRONOUNCIATION /         fray-suh

NICKNAMES:

⸻ ENNIE.        a nickname based on her smaller size, but also working into her sister's nickname which is "mo" as in eeenie meanie minny mo. 

DATE OF BIRTH:       november 6th ( nineteen )

STAR SIGN:       scorpio

GENDER:        female ( she / her )

SEXUALITY:         bisexual

BIRTHPLACE:         fort wayne, indiana, united states of america

LANGUAGES:         english, irish, scottish, french.

( her mother is of english & french decent while her father is of scottish and irish decent. )

 /   ❝   PERSONA !   ─    

PERSONALITY:         

⸻ enya is a lot more introverted then her twin sister. she is quiet and extremely timid. someone who walks around with her shoulders drawn together, tense as if she's waiting for an attack to come at any moment. she hates being put on the spot as she tends to have a panic about making decisions. she likes being given time to make choices. she can be seen as naive and emotionally vulnerable because she's a people pleaser who wants to keep the peace with everyone. the way she sees it is that if she doesn't take up a lot of room, and keeps to herself no one will be tempted to hurt her because she stays away from conflict. she's a romantic at home. songs, books, movies - she soaks it up and likely can quote several of her favorite things. but she tends to stay away from developing actual feelings for others as she worries about changing the pace of her life. she's used to the calm and gentle hum of being invisible so much that it's like a safety blanket around her. she is patient and sweet to those that she meets but there is a ache down deep to scream "what about me?" because she hates being overlooked even if it's the easiest way of going through life. 

MYERS BRIGGS:          istj - the advocate

⸻ STRENGTHS.        honest, direct, disciplined, very responsible, calm, practical, organized, effective, research-oriented

⸻ WEAKNESSES.        stubborn, insensitive, always by the book, judgmental, prone to burnout. 

LIKES:         romance novels, cleaning, organizing her bedroom, other irish people, flowers, gothic aesthetic, sundresses. 

DISLIKES:        overthinking, violence, blood, random loud noises that make her jumpy, mean nicknames about her hair

HABITS:        hiding behind her hair, running out of an uncomfortable situation, stuttering when nervous. 

FEARS:        her father's friends, being yelled at. 

ALLERGIES:        salmon. 

MENTAL HEALTH:        social anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. 

PHYSICAL HEALTH:        she has asthma. 

OCCUPATION/CAREER:        she works part time as a librarian while attending college majoring in english literature and creative writing. she inspires to one day become a publisher author. 

 /   ❝   VISAGE   ─    

APPEARANCE:         born with bright red hair, she tends to be considered very beautiful. she has dark blueish grey eyes. her skin is porcelain caucasian due to her scottish/irish ethnicity. she is average height but tends to appear shorter due to how petite she is. while enya is very beautiful, she sometimes overlooks her appearance due to being shy but she does acknowledge that her identical twin is beautiful - she just struggles to remember that they are identical and therefore - so is she. 

        • °. ─ FACECLAIM / julia adamenko

        • °. ─ HEIGHT&WEIGHT / five foot six inches & sixty-two kilos

MODE OF DRESS:         enya's style is a mix of academia and casual wear. she likes to wear skirts, cardigans, stockings, jeans, sweaters. and tends to look very well kept. 

BODY MODIFICATIONS:         she has her ears pierced and a small tattoo of a star behind her left ear. 

GENERAL SCENT:         enya tends to smell like lavender oil, vanilla and the faint hint of pine. 

/   ❝   RELATIONS   ─   

FAMILY:         

⸻ FINN FRASER.        father; the relationship between finn and his youngest daughter is strained. he taught her at a young age that he simply did not care for any of his children. though he made sure to train her how to respect men, and how to never overstep. though she hasn't been in his care for many years, she sometimes struggles to unlearn the trauma that he gave her. 

⸻ BREE FRASER.        mother; the relationship between bree and enya is non-existent. she basically gave birth and passed her right to heidi to raise. she looks upon both her parents with disdain but more her mother than her father as at least he sometimes tried to spend time with her. 

⸻ HEIDI FRASER.        older sister; the relationship between enya and heidi is amazingly close. heidi was forced to raise her siblings, and enya respects her for it. she's more like a mother figure than a sister. they catch up as often as possible. 

⸻ CIARA FRASER.        older sister; the relationship between ciara and enya is average though ciara did get jealous when the twins were born as she knew that meant even less attention would be on her. 

⸻ SEANI FRASER.        older brother; the relationship between sean and enya is good, he is a very protective big brother though he tends to favor moira more than her. 

⸻ MOIRA FRASER.        twin sister; the relationship between the twins is once that is extremely close. enya has sit in and taken tests for moira - moira has helped her with public speaking. the two have often swapped places to help each other in their weaknesses. 

EXTENDED FAMILY:         

⸻ NOT APPLICABLE, 

PETS:         

⸻ NOT APPLICABLE. 

 /   ❝   BIOGRAPHY   ─ trigger warnings : neglect, grooming behavior

HOW THEIR PARENTS MET AND THE LEAD UP TO THEIR BIRTH:         

⸻ bree and finn would meet in college. both of them coming from strict families that passed down generational trauma, and sadly they wouldn't break the cycle. the two got married right out of college before getting white collar jobs. they never wanted to have kids but peer pressure to have the ideal life forced them to have some so they would welcome their first child heidi, two years later they would have another daughter named ciara, followed by a son a year later named sean before having the twins two years after that. 

THEIR LIFE SO FAR:         

⸻  enya was the second born twin, and her sister moira never lets her forget it. the year that the twins were born was the same year that their parents stopped trying to be parents. they would make heidi who was just six years old look after the younger four kids a lot. this left enya confused as she always thought that heidi was her mother. sometimes her parents would hire a babysitter but most of the time it was heidi that got them ready for school dropping them off before running to school herself. her parents were just too busy to raise children that they didn't even want. her father would often bring over business co-workers and they would make the girls sit on their laps which resulted in the girls having anxiety issues around older males. they were taught how to be quiet and "sit still, look pretty" damaged the girls perception of their self-worth. even years later - all grown up the four girls struggle with allowing themselves to take up room in the world. when her older sister turned eighteen, she would report her parnts to child protection services. enya was only twelve at the time but she was thankful to be away from her father. she graduated high school and went on a gap year before heading off to college. /   ❝   MISC   ─    

EXTRA INFORMATION:         

⸻ ONE.      she sang in choir as a kid. 

⸻ TWO.       her accent comes out whenever she's angry or really nervous. 

 ⸻ THREE.       she was valedictorian in high school. 

PLAYLIST:         

⸻ "fearless" by taylor swift.     

" you take my hand and drag me head first."

⸻ "silence" by marshmellow.      

" i've been quiet for too long " 

⸻ "you are enough" by citizen soldier.     

" you bleed emotion, so devoted to what people say" 

[sharksa-shivers]

🍕🍔🥩🍣🦪🍤🍺🌮Kidnapped food-posting quotes n shiz PART 2🌯🦑🦐🐟🦀🍗🍪🍫🍰

Part 2!!! TRIGGER WARNING; Sharky doing self neglect stuff here. Plz take care of yourself if you find yourself struggling with that. You're important and you matter. 💙💚💙💚💙 --------------------------------

(We see Sharky caving in and driving Kristy to get some food, Kristy very tired and not feeling good since she's been doing a fuckton of magic shit. She's tired and hungry and wants food…Sharky's not really happy about breaking out of his self neglect stuff but he's alot less happy seeing Kristy hurting so he puts himself aside to take care of her…)

Kristy:(in pain, sick and tired, her tone is very drained)Fuck…….God this fucking hurts, ughhhhh…

Sharky:(having experience with this stuff, we see him dig out a water bottle from the backseat and hand it to Kristy, keeping his eyes on the road)Here, i know it's not food but it'll help somewhat, take the hunger pains away a bit…

Kristy:(taking the water bottle and opening it, talking)Is this what you really do all the time?? You manage to deal with this for days??

Sharky:(nervous but he answers, being honest with his tuskuda as she drinks water)Uh…Yeah…Kinda. But uhhhh, i am pretty used to it. You kinda learn how to cope with the hunger and stuff after a while…(anxious laughs)……Not gonna lie but it honestly feels good sometimes to just starve and i don't know how far into the hole that kinda stuff is but i know it's……Probably not good…

Kristy:(anxious but she doesn't have the energy to fight him on that, tired but clearly not thrilled hearing that)……This is why we keep dragging you to Pink Fin, this shits really gonna fucking hurt you long-term…I don't want you getting an eating disorder or something…

Sharky:(looking over at her, shifting to her, caring)Yeah, i know, i know but…Look, not about me right now. Did the water help at least a bit?

Kristy:(she nods, continues to drink, sick still)Yeah, kinda but i still feel like…Nauseous…And i do still have some energy to worry so now i'm just worrying i'm gonna throw up water everywhere…

Sharky:(caring, trying his best)That feeling is probably just hunger. I know i've dealt with that before, the sick feeling goes away whenever you eat a bit as…Counterproductive as that sounds but yeah…Just try and hang tight ok? We'll get ya some food and you'll feel better.

Kristy:(looking over)I'll feel better if you eat too. Cuz i haven't seen you eat today which is usually a bad sign and i'm now just…Scared and anxious after hearing that…I care about you, i want to help you out of this hole, not watch you fall farther down it.

Sharky:(his hands tighten on the wheel, we see the uncomfort on his face…But he looks over at Kristy and sees the anxiety on her face and that breaks him singlehandedly, sighs)…….Ok, ok. I will.

Kristy:(lightens up a bit, relieved)Thank you…(cheerful as she can be being sick)I love you with everything i have and you deserve to love yourself too. And that means taking care of yourself. --------------------------------

(We see Sharky in bed sick…He's basically got the flu or something but either way, Kristy's trying to help…Sharky atm can't sleep well and he hasn't been eating anything except the meds he's been given…And Kristy ain't too pleased with that so she tries to help.)

Kristy:(caringly, trying to help)…Hey, i know what could maybe help you get some sleep! Hold up, lemme grab it! (She teleports out of the room.)

Sharky:(coughing, annoyed, rolling his eyes)…Lemme guess, it's food isn't it?

Kristy:(teleports back in, holding like 2 treys of food, happy)I made some food for you!!!

Sharky:(annoyed, sick)…How'd you do that that fast?

Kristy:(cheery)I mighta made all of this earlier with Amber's help…She wanted me to make sure you ate something too heh…

Sharky:(sighs, covering up more in his blanket)Course she did…

Kristy:(putting the treys carefully down on the desk, showing him what she's got for him)We tried to make some of your fave stuff…So Amber made you some fried fish and shrimp, i made you some chicken nachos, i got you a bag of those shrimp chips you love and to top it all off, Amber made some chocolate cake and i cut a nice big slice for ya for dessert!

Sharky:(unphased, he tries to ignore it)……Meh, pass…

Kristy:(a bit hurt by this but not surprised)…Dude, are you serious? You're sick though…

Sharky:(coughing, tired)I don't wanna eat right now, i wanna sleep…I'll do it later…

Kristy:(sighs)No you won't. You're gonna let all this go to waste unless me or Max or somebody else eats it…

Sharky:(shrugging)Oh well, so be it…

Kristy:(caring, trying to reason)…Look, you really do need to eat since you're sick…You need energy to fight this off…

Sharky:(annoyed)I'm fine, i'm not gonna die from this, god…(coughing again harshly)Besides, i've been taking medicine, it's fine. Just need a few days…

Kristy:(worried)…Medicine can only do so much though, you really should eat some dude…

Sharky:(annoyed)I said no.

Kristy:(not giving up, trying to sway him)The meds also aren't helping you sleep really are they? And that's cuz you're hungry i'm sure…And i mean, hey, you say it alot yourself, you sleep much better on a full stomach then an empty one…

Sharky:(annoyed, trying to shove the problem under the rug)Well that sucks cuz i'm gonna sleep on an empty one, not interested.

Kristy:(pushing still)You say that but you've been tossing and turning for like 3 hours now so how's that workin out for ya? (Grabbing the fried fish/shrimp plate, caring)Cmon, what's the harm in just a little bit? You get something tasty, you fill your tum up some and it'll help you fight this crap off faster so you can feel better, what's the downside?

Sharky:(insecure, sick still)…Weight gain. That'd be the downside. And that's a pretty big one. I don't care, i'm not gonna eat…(coughs, annoyed)Just let me starve, it's fine…Doesn't matter…

Kristy:(irritated)No, not gonna do that, part cuz i care and part cuz me and Amber didn't spend time making all this for you to reject it. I'm not leaving you alone til you eat some…

Sharky:(getting fed up, sitting up annoyed)…Fuckin, fine, god, ok, ok, ok, just…Quit, god…

Kristy:(brushing that off as him not feeling good but points it out)Eating some also will probably make ya feel alot less grumpy cuz wowwww you are pretty irritable today…

Sharky:(letting Kristy put the treys down, annoyed as he sniffles, rubbing his snout with the back of his hand)Yeah, i'm sorry, i don't feel good…My nose is clogged as hell, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, not too happy, not gonna lie…

Kristy:(cheery)Nothing some food won't fix! Go on, eat some dude. It's really good, you'll love it…

Sharky:(grabbing a fork, cutting at the fried fish)Ok, ok, fine… - (Cut to a small bit later, Sharky's ate like every crumb of food and obviously does feel kinda better)

Kristy:(amused, moving the stuff off of him)So you feel better?

Sharky:(laying down, sick still but he's a bit less grouchy, arm around his body)Yeahhhhhh, yeah i do…Man, guess you weren't wrong, i do feel alot sleepier now…

Kristy:(caring, sitting on the edge of his bunk)Yeah, i figured a full belly would do you good…I know that'll put you out like a light heheheh…

Sharky:(flipping over, getting cozy)Guess i'll try and get some sleeps now…Hopefully it'll work this time…(coughing)It'd be nice if i could feel a bit better cuz i still feel like shit…My chest feels like it's full of shit…Ehhhhhhh…

Kristy:(caring, kisses his forehead carefully)Well ima let you sleep then okey? (Plops his phone up on his pillow)Here, just text me if ya need anything ok?

Sharky:(tired but asks)…Maybe another blanket. I'm kinda cold, it'd be nice…

Kristy:(amused)Got one in mind?

Sharky:(nods, sleepy)That green quilt in the hall closet'd be nice and heavy…I'd like that one…And that red fleece blanket…

Kristy:(caring)You got it!!! I'll getcha those super quick!!! --------------------------------

(Aquarium shit again lol)

(We see Sharky and Kristy looking at fish, Yeah, you know where it's going, leave me alone lmao.)

Kristy:(she looks over at Sharky, happy)What do you think about the fish Sharky?

Sharky:(we see him laserfocused on some of them, drooling a bit)…….Sushi…

Kristy:(annoyed, shoves him a bit, kinda snapping him out of it)Cmon, are you serious?

Sharky:(wiping his mouth off with his jacket sleeve, amused, still looking at them)I mean……….Sushi…Really nice fresh tasty sushi, wish i had some soy sauce, holy hell…

Kristy:(annoyed)You do this literally every. Single. Time…Everytime!!!!

Sharky:(just kinda gazes at her, shrugs)I mean, you're the one insistent on dragging me here with like no warning, you know what's gonna happen.

Kristy:(annoyed)I do tell you ahead of time though!!!

Sharky:(a bit annoyed too)No, you…Don't actually. And then you get mad whenever my instincts flare up like i have any control over that. I dunno, maybe…Warn me ahead of time so i can eat before we go and i don't have to deal with the instinct issues maybe?

Kristy:(sighs, annoyed)I swear i do tell you though…

Sharky:(trying to reason)Maybe like…Double check next time then? Triple check maybe? I dun-(a fish catches his eye)…Oh wow, that one looks REALLY tasty, oh shit… --------------------------------

(We see Sharky and Kristy walk into and sit down at a sushi bar)

Sharky:(a bit confused)Uhhh, we here for a reason or?

Kristy:(looking at him, inhales and exhales a breath then speaks)So the thing i didn't tell you is that we need to go to the aquarium after this…BUT before we did, iiiiiii figured i'd try and maybe get you some food before we went…

Sharky:(understanding a bit, thinking)So you're wanting me to eat before we go so my instincts are in check and whatnot?

Kristy:(nods, grins)Yep! And don't worry about any of the money or any of that crap, this is all you can eat so i hope you're hungry.

Sharky:(perking up some at the sound of all this, smirks a bit)I'd say i am honestly so…Liking the way you're thinking Kris Kris…

~ (We cut to a bit later after they both eat. Kristy's only had a few plates while we see Sharky's had quite a few, Sharky now a bit out of it…)

Kristy:(amused, rubbing his shoulder some)You alright dude?

Sharky:(his head and arms down on the table, he's obviously had wayyyyy more then enough, a bit sick)…….Fuck…

Kristy:(kindly)You have enough to eat?

Sharky:(sick still)…….I literally feel like my stomach is gonna explode…

Kristy:(laughing a bit)Well i hope that doesn't happen dude! Legit, you alright? Need a minute? You good? (Grabs his drink, offering it to him)Here, maybe drink a bit of water yeah?

Sharky:(he sits up, you can tell he doesn't feel as good now, he takes Kristy up on that offer and drinks some before letting a breath out)…God…Yeah, i guess i was alot hungrier then i thought i was…Sushi was way too good honestly…Jesus…

Kristy:(smirks)So…?

Sharky:(recovering some)So what?

Kristy:(smirking)So if we go to the aquarium now, you think you can control yourself?

Sharky:(groans, sick)Yeah, i can't eat another bite…I'm stuffed…Don't have any room for dessert either so…Yeah, fishes are safe…

Kristy:(grinning, hyped)Perfect!!! That's what i wanted to hear!!!

Sharky:(sick)Can it wait a few minutes though? God, i think i need a few, i don't feel good… --------------------------------

Do not let this sharkboi near your fish tank, he will wreck that shit and by that, i mean he will eat every goddamn fish in there if he skipped a meal or two which he probably has cuz self neglect, poor boyo

Dis what i got for now tho lol xd