#+ intersex isn’t trans + trans people are aware of that and will tell you that. even the wild loud online trans people.

[feministfang]

The lack of basic education in Pakistan automatically becomes apparent by merely giving a glance at the views on trans community held by Pakistani liberal feminists.

A few years ago, when I used to be a libfem, i was a big ally of trans community in this country. And it wasn’t because i supported these people with mental illness mutilating their body parts and transitioning into someone they are not, in fact, i didn’t even know something like this happen in many parts of the world. I was an ally like many others because i confused intersex people as trans people.

Now thankfully i have escaped that illusionary world, but more than 70% of the Pakistani feminists are still stuck there. They tend to conflate intersex and transgender identities due to a lack of awareness and understanding.

I have discussed and debated with many libfem activists here; a common belief they share is that intersex individuals belong to a diverse community known as 'khwaja sira community' which is equivalent to the transgender community. This community is recognised as a third gender category in Pakistan, with their own unique cultural practices, traditions and social structures.

It encompasses; Eunuchs, Transgender individuals, intersex individuals and gender non-conforming individuals. However, many Pakistanis conflate transgender individuals within this community as intersex.

Literally, in all their responses in defence of the trans people, they have provided me with the same biological information about intersex people as an evidence for the "natural" existence of transgenders. Anytime i tell them that males can never turn into females or vice versa, they send me a link to some site or recommend a biology book that talks about people born in variations in sex characteristics.

I have never seen someone being this confidently foolish, and this is why they get hyper-defensive over transphobic remarks or terfy opinions.

The issue doesn’t just end here; many Pakistani intersex individuals refer to themselves as 'trans people' as well. They are as much uneducated about their own identities as these paki libfems are.

Not once in my entire life there has been a trans person in my vicinity in this country, because those "transgenders" outside my car begging for money, dancing on streets, supporting women in women rights’ marches or sending their blessings to my family were all actually intersex people. However, they are commonly referred to as transgenders.

Also, this isn’t a problem in Pakistan, but the entire South Asia. A majority of the feminists in India and Bangladesh have swallowed this belief without chewing on one google research about basic differences between transgenders and intersex people. The so called desi "progressives" have accepted themselves as the most literate people in their backward societies that the thought of scratching the surface is not deemed necessary.

If you are a radical feminist from south asia, please know this and spread more awareness about what’s actually a trans cult in your community, society, social groups etc. I have been doing this since the day i woke up to the truth and i can see some changes in the feminist perspectives of those around me.

[devilscreekballad]

Trans man feedback: In reference to the binding flavor text stuff, not sure if """realistic""" for the time period or whatever but I would love a top surgery option? Or option to be born with a flat or unnoticeable chest?

Also, and I can’t speak for other trans people here and I don’t see anyone else who has minded but I would prefer less emphasis on what I was believed to be at birth.

So rather than "The midwife was obviously not correct in declaring you a girl”

I would prefer “The midwife was obviously not correct in her declaration of who you are”

Or something similar that just removes the statement on what I am born as. I think this could also help with intersex MCs somehow?

And lastly, I like the idea of the characters being unaware I am trans. I have a feeling this one is more complicated? I know we are immediately told that Charlie is aware we are trans. Not sure if this is to intentionally show us we don’t pass as what we identify as (Which I would really like to), or maybe to establish that we are close enough to have told him that (Which I would like to be my choice to not share yet). If the latter I would like the option to tell him and/or other characters later when it’s relevant, similar to how I believe you are thinking of doing intersex MCs?

Really sorry if this isn’t good feedback, I never do this stuff but I wanted to give my own perspective on things I would like to see as a trans man since you seem so receptive. I know this story doesn’t belong to me though so I respect how you tackle this all. <3🌼

It is good feedback, no worries.

What I will say that it is a balancing act, as I had a lot of trans peeps be happy that the characters know and care.

But (!) I already had it come up with Tess down the line, so in some way it's handled as if with the others you tell them offscreen (respectively lynwood might know for other reasons?) ? Not the best solution, I'm working on it.

As for the midwife bit, I'll admit that through those choices it sets, well, what's in your pants, which is later on relevant if you romance Tommy and Seán (where you'll also get an option for being intersex) If that makes sense.

What your chest looks like if you don't bind is up to headcanon, as only the binding/padding is relevant for flavortext.

And as for surgery: Mastectomies been around at the time for quite a while, but I'll do more research on how 'easily' they'd have been available (which from a cursory glance was 'not very') . Fun Fact that will annoy the anti-kaede anon: The first surgery done under general anaesthesia was a mastectomy done by a Japanese surgeon.

But I'll look into things :) thank you

edit: does this make sense?

[pigeonflavouredcake]

i'm so close to finishing the edits on my theory chapter so here's a extract about Terf witches

I'm directly taking this from my grimoire Book of Magic (BOM), literally just copy and pasted. I'm sharing this page specifically because I'm trans and I experience this everyday so understanding the signs of TERFism in the witchcraft community was something I had to learn.

All references will be at the bottom.

-Feminism Appropriating Radical Transphobes-

TERFism (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism) and gender essentialist ideology in spiritual spaces are a common sight but often overlooked as a necessary part of spiritual practice. They’re not. There are some well-known dog whistles used by TERFs that are very commonplace; “we are the daughters of the witches you didn’t burn” “divine feminine” “pussy power”. Many TERFs deal with misogyny or internalised misogyny disguised as "pussy power girlboss" feminism.

The idea behind TERFism is that gender is a patriarchal construct and that your sex assigned at birth is the only thing that can tell you if you’re a man or woman. (Wynn, N. (ContraPoints). 2019)

The problem with that is that because no-one is able to tell what someone’s sex is at a glance, TERFs use gender essentialism and white centric stereotypes to point out who they think is a man or woman and often getting it wrong which puts both transgender and non-conforming cisgender people in danger, more so if that person is also a person of colour. Due to the racialization of masculinity and femininity and the pervasive white standards of beauty it makes it near impossible for feminine presenting people of colour to be perceived as such without leaning into hyper feminine styles akin to Barbie or Marylin Monroe.

How one would recognise a TERF out in the wild may be tricky considering many of them are self-aware enough to never share their true feelings out in the open. Many of them use covert statements or gaslighting techniques in order to portray the narrative I spoke about in my previous section on cults, a narrative of heroism. A TERF isn’t spouting dangerous ideologies that put transgender people at risk of political, medical, and social discrimination, they’re just looking out for what’s best for you, they want to protect young gay men and lesbians from being influenced by a predatory agenda and to fight for the rights of women. 

A TERF will do a lot to portray themselves as the hero of an oppressive regime in order to experience the power and respect they may have been denied in life due to their own minority status as women.

Examples of Transphobic/Gender Essentialist Ideology

(primarily: Cambridge SU. 2021-22. Other sources as specified)

Refers to themselves as gender-critical, radfem, adult human female/male.

Refers to trans/nonbinary people as ‘TRA’ (Trans Rights Activists), ‘TIF’ or ‘TIM’ (Trans Identified Female/Male). (Stone, G. 2020) 

Refers to trans-feminine people as predators and trans-masculine people as victims of the patriarchy/woke agenda.

Conflates gender affirming care with gay conversion therapy aka torture, another method of attributing transgender people to confused children or victims of an agenda. (Corry, W (Sci Guys). 2020)

Refers to trans women as ‘transwomen’, the removal of the space is an intentional othering and separation from women and womanhood. (Mildred & Thorn, A. (Thought Slime. 2023)

Disagrees with the term cisgender or asking for pronouns saying “i don’t have pronouns i’m a woman/a man/normal”.

Believes certain traits are, by nature, more exclusive to men/women and believes women are inherently more powerful because of maturity, periods, childbaring etc…

Sides with LGB spaces or argues to “keep penises out of lesbian spaces”.

Uses the term ‘womxn’ referring to women as people with XX chromosomes exclusively.

Uses 1st/2nd wave feminism to exclude the transgender/nonbinary/intersex/bi/pan/poly community from feminist spaces (essentially excluding anyone that could potentially not not have a vulva/uterus or who interact with people who may not have a vulva/uterus).

Covertly refers to nonbinary people as women adjacent through women and nonbinary spaces and stereotyping.

Uses dinosaur emojis and/or the colours of the British suffragette flag (purple, white, green). (Stone, G. 2020)

TERFism in Spirituality

In the witchcraft and pagan communities TERFs abound spewing this kind of nonsense with a spicey, new age flavour masking the rotten fruit beneath. You can learn about how TERFism is portrayed specifically in Hellenism on another page but generally speaking a TERF witch is one who excludes the title of ‘witch’ to cisgender women, denying and demonising anyone adjacent to men and masculinity, including cisgender men and the whole transgender and nonbinary community citing the points listed above. TERF witches believe that this community is a super special ‘girls only, no boys allowed’ club which gives them power over misogyny and sexism that caused them so much pain and frustration in their life however they forget that everyone is a victim of misogyny and sexism, including men and trans people. 

I am using Lisa Lister’s book Witch as an -admittedly obvious- example of how TERF rhetoric is displayed in spiritual spaces. In their book, Lister outlines who is a witch and her power as a force of nature and a “creatrix” making constant references to “divine feminine” periods, wombs and using exclusively she/her pronouns.

The Introduction

“The part of us that was once anaesthetized, domesticated and kept numb by food (or by shopping drugs and media) is now awakening in each of us. It’s our wholeness, our intuition, our magic and our power - the power that lies between our thighs” (p xiii)

“Waking up and reclaiming the witch within us takes really big ovaries. It takes womb-deep recognition that you are: a woman who is powerful: you bleed for five days and don’t die. A force of nature who knows the ebb and flow of the moon, the seasons and mumma nature and her own body….” (p xiv)

The Witch Wound

“The pelvic bowl is a witch’s most powerful magic making tool, a place where we create, make life and connect directly to the source” (p 90)

Lister directly infers that the title of witch is exclusive to women and only the ‘working’ cisgender ones. This is dehumanising by reducing a person's power to their genitalia and only if it ‘works'. This correlates with the TERF belief that women are inherently more powerful because of a female reproductive system as opposed to women being powerful because of their autonomy as human beings. If the latter is the case, then what is stopping cisgender men or trans/nonbinary people from becoming practitioners? The answer is nothing. 

My thoughts

While a spell or task one may find in specific kinds of magical/holistic practices may call for the excrement produced by a specific genitalia -such as menstrual blood used as plant fertiliser- I firmly believe an individual does not need any specific anatomy or gender to practise witchcraft. However I also think that believing your magical power comes from your own sexual anatomy isn’t necessarily bad if that is as far as the concept is taken. As long as you don’t take it upon yourself to enforce that idea upon others and deny different concepts of power and magic, it’s harmless, even empowering.

I personally try to avoid any reference to power coming from genitalia as I find the idea redundant to my own practice. I believe power comes from individual autonomy and what the natural world provides but that does not make nature a mother figure in my eyes. Nature simply is, it is its own force, always creating, destroying and recreating itself, always demanding balance. It is sexless, genderless and bodiless but it is none-theless a god.

Finally I cannot emphasise this enough, you cannot ‘always tell’ when someone is trans. Butch cisgender women being perceived as predators and harassed for using the women’s loos is evidence enough. (Maurice, E.P. 2021)

References

Cambridge SU Women’s Campaign (2021-22) How to Spot TERF Ideology 2.0. Cambridge SU. [PDF] https://www.cambridgesu.co.uk/pageassets/resources/guides/spottingterfideology/How-to-Spot-TERF-Ideology-2.0-2.pdf

Corry, W. (Sci Guys) (2023). The Science of Conversion “Therapy” | Sci Guys Podcast #239. Youtube. [Video] https://youtu.be/sFI5Ycs-nig?si=NYVKe0YydykcWsTp&t=3359

Lister, L. (2017). Witch: Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic. Hay House. London. [Book]

Maurice, E.P (2021). Butch lesbian harassed ‘tens of times’ in public toilets as anti-trans hostility spills over. Pink News [Web Article] https://www.thepinknews.com/2021/01/19/public-toilets-trans-bathroom-butch-lesbian-harassed-gender-critical-feminists/

Mildred, Thorn, A. (Thought Slime). (2023). Is This the Weirdest Transphobic Lie Ever? - Cringe Corner Ft. Abigail Thorn & Sophie From Mars. Youtube. [Video] https://youtu.be/EfzUtEcGluA?t=2039

Stone, G. (2020). A glossary of Transphobia. Medium. [Web Article] https://medium.com/@notCursedE/a-glossary-of-transphobia-a31a001d279

Wynn, N. (ContraPoints). (2019). Gender Critical. Youtube.com [Video] https://youtu.be/1pTPuoGjQsI

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

honestly what I think frustrates me the Most out of the discourse is the assumption that AFAB trans people = transmasc and only effected by transmasc transphobia and AMAB trans people = transfem and only effected by transfem transphobia. when like. no that is actually not how it works. i am not inherently transmasc bc the doctors said i was a girl when i was born stop constantly misgendering nonbinary people bc we have specific genitals. and the harassment and transphobia i have faced is entirely decided by whatever the random dickhead talking to me assumes my birth sex is which they don’t know bc they’re not my fucking doctor. like i've recieved those “you’re a perverted Male jacking off to this grossly specific sexual fantasy we decided you had and you should Die” sort of messages bc as it turns out people are not actually aware of what decision the doctors made at birth! afab trans people and amab trans people aren’t a category you can tell visually you’re just forcibly binarising us again (and this isn’t pointing out that it falls apart when it comes to intersex people) like!!! and this isn’t about any one “side” in this inane discourse yall fucking treat transmasc and transfem as genital signifiers and not personal identifiers they’re not a binary. like i'm open about my assigned gender at birth bc like. it says nothing about me. but i'm starting to become way more dysphoric seeing people basically forcibly binarise me again on that scale! like if your discussion only makes sense on a binary trans spectrum stop forcibly binarising us for it! and if you can’t be bothered to actually reach out to any nonbinary people that aren’t in a strict mold don’t make wild assumptions and admit you don’t know what happens with us!!!

like not being constantly misgendered on purpose should be the bare minimum in trans spaces and i don’t even get that. like again obviously it’s nothing compared to the fact The Tories Want To Kill Us All but like if y’all are doing intracommunity discourse at least stop fucking misgendering us for once in your life

[aimlesswalker]

This reddit post has the comments locked now but it and all the responses rubbed me the wrong way so here’s a PSA that all cis people need to be aware of. (cw for frank discussion of genitals)

So first, I think it’s INCREDIBLY WEIRD that cis people automatically assume that if someone is trans, they have the genital set up associated with their assigned gender. Like bottom surgery exists and a fair number of people get it. Not everyone who was assigned male at birth has a penis. Like. Why is that so hard to understand? And bottom surgery has some great results nowadays. Sometimes you can’t tell it’s surgery by looking at it and sometimes you can and both are ok. This isn’t even touching on intersex people who might have genitals not typically associated with their assigned gender or they may have had a non applicable gender assigned to them at birth. I’m really tired of the bioessentialism. Not all trans women are women with penises and not all trans men are men with vulvas. Not all people who were assigned female at birth currently have a vulva and not all people who were assigned male at birth currently have a penis. It’s incredibly arrogant to assume otherwise. If you do have a genital preference then tell the person ahead of time so they can bail or get to know them first like an actual person.

but SECONDLY, trans genitals (on HRT) are completely different from cis genitals even if the basic anatomy is the same. Hormones are incredibly powerful stuff. Like dicks on estrogen have a completely different mouth feel, vulvas on testosterone have a larger clitoris/little dick. And hormones will also change the smell of the genitals. It’s definitely noticeable. Also the fluids produced during sex will have a different taste and/or texture. HRT changes the entire experience. Usually the people with a genital preference have these expectations that trans genitals are exactly like cis genitals and that’s the ENTIRE problem behind having said preference. It’s a completely different experience. You might be pleasantly surprised because regardless of whether she has a vulva or a penis, you’re still going to be having sex with a woman. Having sex with a trans women who has a penis is a very different experience than having sex with a cis man who has a penis. Trans women are still women, not a different species, not something halfway between man and woman. And trans men are still men, they’re not something between man and woman either.

Most of the time having a genital preference is rooted in (socially accepted) bioessentialism and cis people need to do some deep thinking about why they have such a preference. If after some reflection and research they still have a preference then fine! that’s perfectly ok. But this is a subtle form of transphobia that people should be more conscientious of.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Evolutionary biologist Colin Wright says sex IS NOT a spectrum | Free Speech Nation: The Podcast

Andrew: I've never had an evolutionary biologist on the show before. So you'll be in a position to be able to tell me, is sex a spectrum?

Colin: So it is not a spectrum. There tends to be a lot of ways people try to argue that it is, but it's really confused about what sex actually is, which is how your reproductive anatomy is organized around or the type of gamete it's organized around to produce. So people will use things like the existence of intersex people - so people who have ambiguous genitalia - as this way to suggest that males and females are just these arbitrary social constructs.

Or they'll confuse the secondary sex characteristics, like you know, facial hair and the upper body strength that men get or breast development, as evidence that sex is a spectrum, because these individual traits might differ and overlap between males and females. But this is just fundamentally misunderstands what it means for someone to be a male or female. So sex isn't a spectrum any more than flipping a coin could potentially land on its edge one out of every 6000 flips doesn't mean that heads and tails don't exist. So that's that's sort of my take on that.

Andrew: So, you would be able to find women that are a lot stronger than me, that are a lot more traditionally masculine than me, but that doesn't mean that there's a third sex.

Colin: No not at all. There would have to be another type of reproductive anatomy that is evolved, that someone can exhibit that's organized around to produce a third type of gamete, something between sperm or ova.

So a lot of people think when I say that there's two sexes, that I mean that every single individual in the entire planet can be categorically defined as either male or female. Now I kind of leave it open. Someone might have a developmental condition that makes them truly sexually ambiguous in certain ways. But they wouldn't be a third sex in the same way that male and female are individual sexes.

Andrew: So why do I hear all the time intersex people being used as examples of a third sex, much to the annoyance of a lot of intersex people, i notice.

Colin: Yeah it's part of a larger move to try to blur the lines between male and female, and to assert that male and female, these are these social constructs which is then being used by trans activists to suggest that people who are unambiguously male or female should therefore be able to identify as the opposite sex, and that no one can tell them that they're wrong. So in a way these intersex individuals are just being used by activists to further their own agenda

Because even if sex were a spectrum, this still doesn't indicate that you can choose where along that spectrum you reside. So their arguments just sort of don't hold up no matter even if you grant them what they would like you to grant.

Andrew: So perhaps you could talk us through then this differentiation between sex and gender, because I think that's at the heart of so much of the confusion around this debate.

Colin: Yeah it's what kind of got me into this whole debate too. Because you probably are aware that maybe in the 2010s, this is when I first started hearing about people talking about these differences between sex and gender. They were saying that sex is you know, your biology, it's reproductive anatomy. But gender is how you identify and that was something I was willing to go along with, a lot of other people were. As a biologist, I just wanted to make sure there was this sharp line between biology and psychology to some degree.

But then that line has been more and more blurred. So I know what biological sex is, which refers to your reproductive anatomy, your primary reproductive anatomy. But gender can mean all sorts of things, and I think it's a major point of confusion in this entire cultural discussion about it.

Because some people view gender as the equivalent of sex, they don't distinguish the two. Some think gender is just the evolved natural differences between males and females, some include the social aspects that maybe we've become socialized into into behaving certain ways. Some people view gender as the societal norms and expectations that are placed on individuals because of the sex they're perceived to be. And then some people just think that gender is just something you can completely identify with, it's like this internal sense of being male or female.

So if we're going to have a debate on these, it needs to be clear about what we're talking about. I don't really have a personal definition of what gender is, I just sort of ask people what they mean and then see whether or not that conflicts with my understanding of biology, to make sure they're not trying to blur some boundaries and use sophistry to confuse people or push their agenda.

Andrew: But it is very confusing. I mean I often hear people talking about how we have an innate gender which is fixed, that we can't change, that should should supersede our biological anatomy. And at the same time I'm told that gender is really fluid and it can continually be in flux. And then I see people, for instance, there was a BBC program where where a woman was telling children as young as five there are over a hundred different genders, and she seems so certain about this. But no one's really certain are they?

Colin: No, I'm not even sure what they mean by gender in these situations, I mean, it sometimes appears that they're just referring to the recognition that people have about where they reside on the spectrum of masculinity or femininity. Like they've come to realize if you're a girl, that maybe you're more masculine and you have more in common with boys in terms of your likes and dislikes and personality and and temperament.

But then there's this whole ideological overlay on everything, this almost like an immaterial soul, the way they talk about gender identity. We all have one, this is this deep-seated thing and we know from a very young age even though it can change from moment to moment, and then we should use this as the basis for springing forth and doing things like surgeries and blocking puberty because kids know who they are is what they say. It's one thing to say that kids are aware of their sex and are aware of where they reside in terms of masculinity and femininity compared to their their peers. It's one other thing to say that we have this internal sense of knowing if you're a boy or a girl.

Like, this is kind of a religious framework that they're dealing with. It exits the realm of science and it's really entering pseudoscience, mysticism type of thing in my view.

Andrew: And given that these definitions of this innate sexed soul being either male or female, invariably draw us back to quite conservative ideas of what it means to be male and female. They tend to rely on sex stereotypes. If we're teaching children this, is that not quite a regressive step?

Colin: Yeah and this is the angle I try to convince people of the harms of gender ideology, you know. The feminist movement is in large part defined by trying to defy gender norms, saying that just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't be masculine, I can't be an engineer or a scientist, I can't be risk-taking, I can't be aggressive, all these things that they were trying to shake off.

And what gender ideology has really done, it sort of embraced those ideas of what it means to be a man or a woman in a very essentialist sense, and it asserts that if you're behaving feminine and you're a boy, then maybe you're actually a girl trapped in a boy's body.

There was a really good summation of this. It started off saying sexism was that women should do the dishes, and then it was equality both men and women should do the dishes, and then gender ideology really says that whoever's doing the dishes is a woman. Like that's sort of how they're framing things now based on identifying with these roles.

Andrew: So then that leads us into this realm of of non-binary and I keep seeing this phrase online, "non-binary lives are valid." But as far as I can see, someone who identifies as non-binary is just someone who doesn't see themselves as fitting into traditional roles of male or female, and therefore by identifying as non-binary, they are in a sense reinforcing those roles.

Colin: Exactly. The non-binary phenomenon I think really shows what's behind the mask of a lot of the gender ideology stuff. Because they're not claiming that they're intersex. It's not like they're claiming to be somewhere in between male and female, although some will say, use male and female as identities.

But what they're really saying is the so-called gender binary that a non-binary person is objecting to, isn't the biological categories of male and female, it's like the social roles and expectations that are associated with being male and female. So these types of roles about masculinity and femininity and what those roles mean for society. So they're basically just saying that they don't agree, they don't identify with these maximally masculine roles or these maximally feminine roles, they're somewhere in between.

I attended a gender webinar recently, that I sort of infiltrated, and under this, they had this big umbrella that was like non-binary and underneath it - and keep in mind, non-binary is considered a subset of transgenderism - but under the non-binary umbrella was literally just gender non-conformity. So gender non-conforming kids, adults they're now considered transgender according to this new ideology.

Andrew: But they're absolutely not. I mean, I was a gender non-conforming child. I didn't play football, I didn't I preferred hanging out with girls than boys. It's absolutely not the case that that makes you trans.

Colin: This has been a really big definitional shift that I think a lot of people have not really caught up to. I mean, I'm the same way. I'm straight man, but I'm certainly not like a Randy "Macho Man" Savage type of masculine character. I think a day spent bottle feeding kittens sounds like a nice day for me.

So by their definitions, I would be considered non-binary or gender fluid or something like that. And this is something we need to really push back on. It's one thing to just re-imagine what it means to be trans in these cases, you know, what's the harm of kids just identifying this way. Well, there is a whole medical apparatus that is set up around people who are identifying as trans and what it means to be gender dysphoric. And so if we're letting gender non-conforming kids be trans, if we're defining them as as being trans, literally this opens the door to medicalization, it medicalizes gender non-conformity, and the medical institutions really need to catch up to this change in definition. Because it's, I believe, it's causing a lot of harm, and it's contributing to this insane medical scandal that's going on right now.

==

https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms

Transgender | An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth.

[maskedrealities]

I’m easily annoyed with others. This is an extremely bad habit of mine that I struggle to work past. I understand that everyone has different ideals and preferences, but once this goes down to being a bigot and judging someone’s identity, it makes me easily annoyed and rightfully so.

It’s annoying how other beings will see someone else that is different to them and judge them like they can pass judgement. No, you do not know what that person has done or been through. You cannot ask personal questions and expect an answer as an answer isn’t required to be given. Personal space and boundaries still exist in online communities.

For someone to ask me:

“Well, you look like a woman, so you can’t be intersex. Have you just transitioned?” I’m not required to answer and you cannot tell if someone is or isn’t intersex or trans just by looking at them, don’t assume to further your bigotry towards intersex individuals.

“You’re intersex? You can’t be! Just because you look androgynous doesn’t mean you’re intersex!” Yet you aren’t aware of my chromosomes, what I deal with. Why are people so concerned with someone being intersex if they’re perisex?

My experiences shouldn’t be undermined just because I look, sound, or act a certain way. The gender binary/trinary doesn’t need to exist, stop trying to put me and others into a box to fit your narrative

Others ask me things extremely personal related to my non-humanity. Such as:

“What made you want to identify as such? What happened?” Trauma and dehumanization. That’s all you need to know about.

“What are the details?” None of you concern, frankly. My trauma is mine to know, not yours to weaponize or to use as a means to claim my experiences are fake.

I know what it’s like to be interested in wanting to pick someone’s brain apart, but that doesn’t mean you ever have to act on it. You are able to ask these questions to yourself. If they sound invasive to you, don’t ask them. It is not “simply getting to know someone” but asking questions that might make someone feel unsafe and uncomfortable around you.

No one is required to answer any sort of question. In person, online, anywhere. And if you are the type of person that gets angry when someone doesn’t answer a question that they don’t want to… then I’d suggest self-reflecting and being a better individual. It’s like getting angry at someone for saying “no.”

A question has an underlying question of consent. Such as “how are you doing today?” I am able to tell you how I am, which gives you consent for knowing. Or I can avoid answering you as I don’t feel it appropriate to tell you or for other reasons, which would be equal to a “no, don’t ask/Id like space.”

So, please, understand that everyone is a being, a living breathing part of the world we all live in. Don’t treat them badly just because you can’t get information out of them that you want to know as a stranger. There is nothing bad with getting to know someone and slowly building a relationship and seeing if those questions could be asked, but also understand how you can still be supportive and a bigot.

[dinitride-art]

/verashälurks kept talking abt how there’s only two genders, hence all the pro-trans posts

Oh, thank you for telling me. Anyways, I’m going to distract myself from the posts I saw in their blog before I blocked them, by sharing some cool science stuff!

This is very gendered and not really all that hopeful about genders outside of male and female being societally accepted but it does help explain some basics of the idea that sex isn’t as clear cut at were generally taught. So, not gender based and not really about trans and non-binary people, but it’s a look at differences in biological sex and is a good starting point to the idea that sex isn’t all that simple. From that one can infer that gender isn’t either. But it’s equally important to understand that intersex people exist. And biology is really cool! And chromosomes are all over the place, it’s fantastic.

And this is a basic rundown on terms that are used by trans and non-binary people. They’ve got genderqueer in there (me) so it’s not leaving much out, and seems pretty alright in it’s definitions and descriptions.

Gender is harder to find a study on that works with biology because gender and expression of gender aren’t dictated by sex. A lot of the time it’s cultural and expression of gender depends on where you are and who you are. It’s pretty fun and funky if you ask me.

I haven’t checked this source but that’s not really all that important. It’s more about the concept than the validity of the information in this article. ‘Third-genders’ are generally what documented occurrences of cultural genders that are not male or female. The concept of genders outside of male and female is not a new concept. Colonization was a factor in pushing the idea that there could only be men or women, but that’s never been true. It’s really fucking cool that there are culturally significant parts of many different countries and places all over the world that have had or do have groups that are described as a ‘third-gender.’ In North America, because of colonization and genocide, indigenous ‘third-genders’ are (from what I am aware of) all called two-spirit. This term includes different aspects of sex and gender identities in different nations. However, this is one of many different examples of genders outside of our currently accepted gender binary of male and female.

Non-binary people and queergender people and anyone who doesn’t identify as either male or female, or people who were assigned male or female at birth who are the opposite, have always existed. And continue to exist. Die mad about it.

[rosekicks]

Lmfao isn’t it great????? The uk government has set up an openly transphobic and anti-intersex network for their staff!!!!! Dubbing itself the sex equality and equity network its whole thing is blindly insisting that biological sex is binary!!!!!! Thereby erasing millions of people who do not fit into that binary because, guess what, science figured out years ago that biological sex is NOT binary, even in humans!!!!!!!! Never has been and never will be!!!!!!!!!!!!! Intersex people are born at approximately the same rate as natural redheads!!!!!!!!!!!! Millions of trans people live in the uk!!!!!!!!!!!!! And more than 40% of those people have experienced a hate crime because they are trans!!!!!! And you wanna know an extra awesome side note to this????????????? Intersex awareness day was two weeks ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the people pushing this false and damaging rhetoric count as a protected group so no one can tell them to shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!! Isn’t it great :)

[hellomynameisbisexual]

The 23rd September marks Bi Visibility Day. I’m bisexual, and I’d like to talk about what bisexuality, visibility and inclusion mean to me.

A word on language to start with. Language is dynamic, and dictionaries are descriptive of usage rather than directive. In my case I use bisexual to indicate that I can be attracted to more than one gender (or sex). It doesn’t mean that this attraction is always the same, or that it’s equal. My bisexuality, however, is trans, non binary and intersex inclusive. Pansexual is another word which is often used to describe people like me. There are many (many!) nuanced definitions of both words and anyone who tells you they can tell you what any of these words absolutely mean is, well, at it!

You only need to leaf through the pages of any national newspaper to see why trans, non binary and intersex rights and inclusion is something I will never tire of shouting from the rooftops. But I’m not trans, intersex or non-binary so I would suggest reading Codi’s blog to find out about their experiences as a really good starting point.

Back to my sexuality. As a bisexual, cis (i.e. ‘not trans’) man, married to a woman, my sexuality is not immediately obvious. To the casual observer we are look like a cisgender, heterosexual nuclear family, with a dog: in many ways normal, but that all depends on what normal is for the observer.

Why is that an issue? Well, I’ve spent most of my career (and unless I live to a ripe old age, most of my life) never quite being ‘out’. It’s not that I’m ashamed or secretive about my sexuality – it’s just that I’ve just been in more relationships with women than men, so many people assume that I’m heterosexual. Most of these assumptions are silent, though. I can correct what I know, but if the assumption is in someone else’s head, it stays there uncorrected and unchallenged.

I like to think of it as being Schrödinger’s Bisexual. If I’m observed in a relationship with a man, the observer thinks I’m gay. If I’m observed in a relationship with a woman, the observer thinks I’m straight. This analogy breaks down a little if I’m observed in a relationship with someone who isn’t a man or a woman, but the point stands, that what the observer sees leads them to draw a conclusion which isn’t correct. I don’t blame them – they may not have (knowingly) met many bisexuals before, and they’re very unlikely to have ever really discussed it. I’ve been guilty of making similar assumptions – being part of the LGBT+ community doesn’t make you any less susceptible to this kind of thinking.

I first came out to friends in the mid 1990s. I knew at that time I wasn’t ready to tell my parents, but I didn’t think that nearly 30 years later I’d still be in the process of coming out. A good example of this is the fact I only recently got round to coming out to my parents last year. Between their increasing age, and COVID’s increasing spread, I became aware of their mortality and mine, and I didn’t want to leave things to be the fodder for future regrets. I had the real privilege of knowing I wouldn’t be shunned our outcast (a comfort many LGBT+ youth don’t have, even now). If anything, my sibling coming out as queer years ago stole my thunder! My mum was lovely, as expected, but my dad’s reaction was mostly confusion – why this big announcement now after so many years of marriage? He was fine – in his own way – just perplexed. I decided that I could probably leave enlightening him about non-monogamy for another day.

While I don’t make a big secret of my sexuality these days, many people assume my wearing of the Scottish LGBT+ Police Association lanyard and badge is me trying to performatively show how ‘woke’ I am. I am happy to talk about it if it ever comes up, and I can’t deny that there is little bit of fun in collecting confused looks when I confound expectations in conversations about the attractiveness or otherwise of celebrities (Dan Levy, I’m looking at you!). That approach is limited though – while joining in a conversation about the various reasons why Schitt’s Creek was the best lockdown discovery ever... constantly engineering conversations where to go on about people you find attractive would get very creepy very fast. I’m just fed up with feeling I must come out. I can’t drop my boyfriend or my husband into the conversation as subtle indicators. It’s not that I want a bigger fuss – there’s no need for a full-page ad in press. It would just be nice if people didn’t always assume that I am their version of normal.

To be able to come out in a safe and secure environment is something that too many people in the world today cannot take for granted. For too many people this decision would expose them to violence, to abuse or to homelessness. In some jurisdictions it would place them on the wrong side of the law – risking state-sanctioned violence, imprisonment and even death. I know I’m very lucky in my suburban straight-passing relationship to have the choice to come out safely.

Bisexual erasure (the opposite of bi visibility) is real too though. Research by Stonewall shows that bisexual (and pansexual) people experience unique challenges – including prejudice from within the wider LGBT+ community. While an encouraging 74% of gay/lesbian people are out to all their friends, that figure shrinks to 36% for bi people. From the same research 57% of gay/lesbian people were out to all their colleagues – only 22% for bi people. I can really understand those figures. Even in our values-driven workplace, being out – being your authentic self – isn’t always an easy choice.

There are simple things you can do to help, though. Firstly, try not to make assumptions – and challenge them when you notice that you have done. Believe people who tell you they’re bisexual – it’s all-too-often written off as being a phase, or indecision. Watch your language too! Prejudice isn’t just about throwing insults and slurs at people. Language can cause harm when it’s not inclusive. Straight/Gay are not the only two options – so be careful not to make it seem that way in the language you use. Finally, remember that a person’s sexuality is unique to them, and private to them. Your words and deeds can help to make your friends, family and colleagues feel more comfortable talking to you about their sexuality, but that’s their choice not your right. Pointed questions aimed at trying to work out someone’s sexuality will rarely be welcomed.

Ultimately while I do want us bisexuals to be more visible, whether the person (colleague or customer) who sees me wearing my rainbow-festooned lanyard assumes I’m gay, I’m bi, I’m trans, intersex or non binary, or if they think I’m a straight ally… what matters is that they know to expect a supportive and understanding response if they speak to me about LGBT+ matters. Whatever your authentic self looks like, make sure that’s your vibe.

[smittywerbenjaegermannjensen]

Ah, @chaos-in-one, if you ever see this, here’s the response you were so afraid of: 

“You failed to tell me in what way you would be limited if people only treated you as your birth sex, and you failed to tell me how that has been expanded.

Respectfully, having a medical condition doesn’t automatically make you an expert on all similar conditions, nor on the political analysis surrounding those conditions. But I’d like to hear your thoughts.

I hesitate to consider intersexed people an established class, because as I’m sure you’re aware there’s a lot of grey area. There are a lot of markers in a society that leads to a full class of people being established: Wealth, Hierarchal Status, Subculture, Access to education and occupation. Is one medical condition enough to effect all/most of these things?

A group of people that can be defined isn’t necessarily a full social class.

It’s your job to prove what you’re saying, lol.

Like here, I’ll go:

https://unherd.com/2022/01/the-truth-about-trans-murders/

https://4w.pub/the-epidemic-of-transgender-murder-victims-is-really-an-epidemic-of-misinformation/“

I do think it’s very telling though, when people say they’re trans because ‘they want to be seen as more’ than what they are, or were ‘assigned.’ 

But won’t cop to how sexist stereotypes play into their identity. 

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

[cardentist]

the insistence that trans men face a lesser kind of oppression than trans women is no different from the insistence that bisexuality is a watered down form of gayness

all of these groups can have different relationships with their oppression thanks to how they’re presented and perceived by society (invisibility in media vs overt demonization in media for instance) but these differences being boiled down to one group being distinctly More Important or More Authentically Oppressed than the other is legitimately harmful.

on the surface both of these ideas seem to make a sort of logical sense. trans men are trans people But Men, and we all know how men are treated by society. bi people are like gay people except they also like people of a different gender, and straight people like it when you do that. add on the relative invisibility and there isn’t much in the mainstream to challenge those ideas. 

the truth of the matter is that invisibility affects more than just mainstream media. this idea that bi people or trans men have lesser experiences with oppression are gut instinct because their voices, their experiences, have a history of under-representation. people don’t Hear the experiences that the people in these groups face and then create conditions within queer (and activist) spaces that treat those people like their voices matter less because they’re privileged. this creates a cycle where these groups are devalued and talked over because these groups are Already devalued and talked over.

this all pares horribly with the atmosphere in discourse (and particularly exclusionist) spaces where identities are used as social capital that is enforced by tearing down whoever it is you think is encroaching on your space. it’s not uncommon to see posts talking about the experiences of one identity that goes out of their way to exclude whatever’s being spoken of from another identity that they see as lesser, deliberately putting another identity down and crushing their voices in the conversation to lift themselves up. (the sheer amount of times I’ve seen a post start with “trans men Never-” while describing something I experience in my daily life is exhausting)

the most insidious thing about this is the fact that when you create an environment where oppression is social capital then someone trying to assert their lived experiences with their oppression when you view them as under you is considered overtly aggressive and is often framed as bigotry within itself, because theoretically if they’re equal to you then your social capital has been lowered. you see this Constantly within ace discourse, with people doing things like calling asexuality Inherently homophobic because they didn’t want to acknowledge another marginalized group’s oppression.

this can be particularly dangerous when it leaks into broader and more serious subject matter and colors how people look at and talk about a marginalized identity’s experiences. one of the bigger arguments in these spaces was that trans men are literally incapable of experiencing misogyny and this notion was enforced by people directly discrediting trans men talking about their experiences (telling people that they’re lying about their experiences, that their experiences didn’t happen in the way or for the reason that they said they did, and sometimes intentionally misgendering the person to discredit it). I had personal experience with that which was, not great I gotta say.

this kind of target vitriol isn’t unique to any of the mentioned groups, in fact it’s something that goes both ways. there are trans men who are absolutely Horrible to trans women. but well meaning people in activist spaces are particularly skittish to stand up for trans men in this situation because they’re Aware that trans women are particularly marginalized (which they are) while also being affected by the lack of visibility for trans men. I’ve seen people who engage with Nasty discourse defending asexuality, nonbinary people, transness in general, bi/pan people, etc who outright Refused to get involved in when it was trans men on the line because it wasn’t Worth it to them. that’s definitely anecdotal evidence on my part but it’s emblematic of a bigger issue.

moreover, there’s a common trend in and around queer spaces where people identify vulnerable groups based on how established they are and go out of their way to hurt those on the outskirts because they know that it’ll be tolerated. from asexuals to nonbinary people to mogai to neogenders to pan people to intersex people to polygamous people to bi people and beyond. what you’ll see a lot of is transphobic cis women extend performative activism towards trans women while being overtly transphobic towards trans men and justifying it with the fact that trans men are Men and therefore they’re punching up.

this wasn’t really made with one solid thesis in mind and I honestly could keep rambling until the sun died out, but to cap things off I want to remind people of something that I still think about to this day.

quite a few years ago trans men were looking for a term that they could use to describe their specific experiences with the intersection of transphobia and misogyny, particularly when trans men were being pushed out of spaces talking About that intersection. obviously “transmisogyny” was taken, so someone came up with the idea of taking that word as the root and changing it to be clearly and obviously about trans men. which is how the word “transmisandry” came about.

if you’ve lived through gamergate you probably just flinched reading that if it was your first time, which is fair. the point of the term was to make its meaning as immediately identifiable as possible. if you know what transmisogyny means and you know what misandry means then it’s not too difficult to put together what transmisandry is supposed to mean if you’re seeing it for the first time. that said, it (perhaps predictably) sparked quite a bit of controversy. but the criticism it got? was that trans men didn’t Need a term to describe their own experiences. trans men aren’t oppressed for being men, “transphobia” should cover all of their experiences because they don’t Have unique experiences, trans men don’t Deserve a term to describe their own experiences. a lot of this was attributed to ignorance after people started pointing out how fucked up that reaction was, how it was kneejerk, but I don’t think that’s an excuse anymore. I don’t think it should Ever be an excuse.

nowadays people tend to use “transandrophobia,” not because the meaning is any different, not because it’s a functionally better term, but because people weren’t Willing to overlook their kneejerk reaction to Not take a term away from another marginalized group because their ability to talk about their own lived experiences in their own spaces mattered Less than momentary discomfort.

[zaolat]

Real talk though that post about being trans and intersex hits HARD because like...

I have a very complicated relationship with my intersex features and my transness. I have hyperandrogenism as a dfab individual, which basically led me to develop a fair amount of “male secondary sex characteristics” including facial hair, more masculine facial features, and increased body hair.

I’ve had TERFs try to insinuate I’m a “trans-identified male” (ugh) before because of my facial features. Like being called a trans woman isn’t an insult but what they’re obviously trying to do is say I’m “really a man”. It’s extra confusing for them because I’m short statured. Sometimes people looked at me (at least before my dysphoria started making me shave obsessively) and I could tell they were trying to determine what I “really” am

Jokes from other trans people about “built in t” do not help me. In fact, I don’t think I actually ever want to go on t. The facial hair gives me dysphoria already, it’d get much worse on t. As much as I’d like my voice to be deeper and more androgynous, it isn’t worth the other changes for me

At the same time, I want to be more androgynous though. Medications like spiro, which are testosterone blockers that are often given to trans women, have been prescribed to me because I’m not allowed to take estrogen-containing birth control due to neurological issues. I’m not sure I want my features to be more “feminized” though.I just...don’t want to look like a man OR a woman

This is why there are so many shared experiences with intersex people and trans people. I’m not someone who has to go through coercive surgery or hormones, but my intersexness is still visible and has affected the way I perceive my gender and how others perceive me

As my hyperandrogenism really surged forward after at the end of and post puberty, a friend who’s known me since before then looked at me once and told me “you look like you went on t and I’m not joking about that”

I do think being intersex is something you can be proud of. I am proud of being intersex and it is a part of me that is intrinsic to my body, but gods do I wish society made things easier for me. And I wish my dysphoria would stop flaring as soon as I feel my stubble coming in or get a glimpse of my hairy back or stomach in the mirror

Our bodies should not be stigmatized. Our bodies should also not be altered without our consent. Raise awareness and fight against “correctional” surgeries on intersex infants to forcibly assign them one binary gender or another or who are given hormones without their consent. This goes for other intersex people who haven’t experienced this as well - those of us with hormonal, chromosomal, etc. differences who haven’t experienced this need to uplift the voices of those who’ve had their bodies altered against their will

Also, for perisex people: it is not your place to decide if intersex people “belong” in the LGBTQ+ community. Our experiences are diverse and so are our needs. For many of us there is overlap with transness, especially for those of us who are trans ourselves. For many others, that isn’t true. It is not your job to decide if we belong or not, it is ours.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of seeing “intersex people have said they don’t want to be included in the LGBTQ+ community” from perisex people. The same goes for people saying the opposite. We are not a monolith and we have different needs. Stop saying these things. It’s an intracommunity discussion and quite frankly you have no say in this. No one intersex person speaks for the entire community. If people want to be included and use LGBTQI+, let them and leave them alone. If people don’t want to be included and want no I for them, let them and leave them alone.

Perisex people your input is not wanted on this post and I’m not arguing with you. Listen to us, because we can speak for ourselves

[aberrate]

Re: transandrophobia. Cis men are not oppressed for being men, but trans men are. This is not a contradiction, b/c our experiences are different. To put it briefly: I am trans *because* I am a man. My transness is hinged on the fact that I ID as a man. My transness and manhood cannot be separated. I experience transphobia BECAUSE I am a man. And I experience a unique type of transphobia because of that fact. This does not mean men as a class are oppressed, but it does mean that trans men / other transmasc people, as a class, experience a unique type of discrimination. We deserve to have a word for that, and space to talk about it. This does not harm anybody else, and it's not us trying to play oppression Olympics. I face a unique type of medical discrimination that is specifically based around the fact that I am medically transitioning as someone with a uterus, for example. Doctors treat me worse for taking T and not wanting to get pregnant before having a hysterectomy, and try to stop me from getting one, encourage me to stop taking T to have babies, etc. This is transandrophobia as it is unique to our experience. Whom does it harm for me to have a word to describe that?

wow this is some intensely bad logic. since trans men and cis men have being men in common with each other, if transness is not the aspect which causes you to be oppressed, what IS causing the difference in experience between you and cis men? why are you here talking how oppressed you are instead of proudly telling me you're not oppressed at all just like cis men?

let's break down your examples of oppression

• saying you are oppressed as someone with a uterus which of course all trans masc people have, and of course sure doesn't smell like t.erf dogshit to me /s

• doctors treating you worse for being on HRT. this is inherently to do with your being trans. also, it can and does happen to any/all trans people who want to/are on hormones, making this a universal TRANS experience and not one reserved for trans masc people

• encourage you to stop taking HRT for reproductive reasons. surprise: also happens to trans feminine people! a trans experience not relegated to being trans masc specifically.

• doctor tries to stop you from getting a hysto, thinks it's weird you don't want to have children. amazingly, also not specific to trans masc people, something common for cis women as well as intersex women to experience. the root? the idea that cis women are property whose sole purpose in life is to bear children for cis men. just because you are not a cis woman doesn't mean your doctor doesn't treat you or view you as one which is...say it with me...transphobia.

you have cited three examples of general transphobia and one example of misogyny. none of these are unique to being a trans man. now if you read what i actually wrote, then you'd be aware that i directly stated that uniqueness of an experience isn't why oppression based terms exist. in fact i gave 2 examples of this. the existence of terms used to describe oppression exists to be able to have a language to talk about oppression that has no current language. you HAVE a language to describe your experiences, you just want to be special. because for some goddamn reason noone can talk about their own experiences (in this case trans fems talking about transmisogyny) without people acting like spoiled entitled assholes who think they "deserve" the spotlight too. as if the spotlight is even a good thing. and you want to know why i can firmly say that about you? because i never said oppression olympics. i never even insinuated it. but YOU said it because you instantly saw the post and decided to compare yourself to trans feminine people which is a you problem

[mildlyoccultish]

I don’t usually post personal stuff here, but...

Yesterday, I had a white gay cis man tell me to recognize my passing privilege when I am in queer dominated spaces. He said be aware of it. This man, who is a podcaster with a large following and a massive platform in the pagan sphere, and who is conventionally attractive and fit, “passes” more for cishet than my shaved purple crewcut fat ass does.

He said this because I mentioned that I am a non-binary bisexual/pansexual person who is married to a cishet man. I’m also poly. He disregarded that I am also married to a non binary pansexual person.

I was told by a cis white conventionally attractive man that I am less queer because I am married to a man. Because I can pass as cis and straight.

He said “It isn't that you don't belong. It's that walking around as a passing heteronormative person, you are far, far, FAR less likely to be a target of violence due to your identity. You are far less likely to be a victim of a hate crime due to your identity. You are far less likely to be denied housing or employment … or any number of things because of your identity. You pass. You have the golden ticket. Many of us can't pass for cis/het/etc or don't want to and need a safe space to be ourselves.”

Ourselves. As if I was not one of them.

He said “It's not that it isn't your space, but it's important that you recognize going in to a space like that as a straight passing cis white woman you carry 𝑰𝑴𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑺𝑬 privilege.”

Even after I pointed out I was non binary, he still misgendered me.

When I pointed out that this gay cis white man was gatekeeping, he said “Nobody here is gatekeeping.

I will defend the sacredness and queerness of queer spaces, but I don't think I am defending them from you or REDACTED, as you both certainly belong in those spaces.

I don't care if you don't *want* to pass. You do pass. That is privilege. Immense privilege. Recognize and remember that. That's all I'm saying.”

“... That idea seems to have touched a nerve with you, given how you've sort of blown up this comment thread. Perhaps this is something you can unpack and write about elsewhere. I'd be happy to read those thoughts.”

Okay. Sure. Right-o.

Let’s be real for a minute - anyone can pass if they want to diminish themselves enough. Not talking about the safety of trans folks here - just merely the concept of “passing”.I recognize some trans folks make the choice to pass for their own safety, regardless of their true gender. That is a shitty, horrible choice they have to make. They shouldn’t have to.

I am specifically talking about passing in queer spaces.

What he said is incredibly hurtful, and it is gatekeeping. It is biphobia, panphobia, and it is not privilege. Calling out people as having ‘straight privilege’ is a silencing tactic. It’s turning being queer into a binary – you’re either gay or you’re straight. Monosexism is the great uniter in the erasure and bigotry against pansexual and bisexual people.

I do recognize that most cishets might just clock me as weird, but not necessarily queer. I recognize that to the cishet world, I am less likely to suffer violence than someone who is trans or a lesbian with their partner, for example. However, it is not a privilege to be shut out of my own community because I happen to be married to a cis hetero dude. I’m also married to a non binary pansexual person who looks like a cis hetero dude, but is no less non binary. It’s not privilege to be questioned about how queer I am. That I’m somehow a traitor or fake because I married a cishet. It’s not a privilege to be shoved back into the closet because I somehow don’t tick all the binary boxes.

Did you know that bi and pan people are far more likely to experience issues surrounding mental health? That they are at an increased risk of intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and stalking? That bi and pan people have a harder time raising human rights and discrimination suits if their relationship appears heteronormative? Bi and pan folks (and ace and aro folks too) constantly have to reaffirm and restate and justify their queerness to cis white gay men to pass their judgement and be let past the velvet rope, temporarily. That somehow being bi means if you’re in a gay relationship, you’re going to leave anyway because you’re not actually gay, but if you’re in a heteronormative relationship you’re a traitor and no longer belong in queer spaces.

Pan and bi erasure is a real thing, hidden under the term “passing privilege”. It’s absolute horseshit. And the audacity of this cis white gay man – this conventionally attractive white gay man who “passes” as more cishet than I do – to other me out of queer spaces that I belong in is disgusting. He has more privilege than I ever will, and instead of recognizing his own, he decides to lecture me about what he perceives mine to be.

Not to mention that there are loads of queer people out there who don’t fit the idea of how queer people should “look” – and what does that even mean anyway? Does it mean that a femme lesbian who goes to a queer event without her girlfriend as proof of queerness will be turned away? Or how about all the single queer people that don’t look “queer”? Are they questioned by the cis white gay men in charge to make sure they’re queer enough? There is no specific “queer” look. I know lots of gay folks who are “cishet passing” – doesn’t make them less queer, nor does it give anyone the right to question them about it! Queer people are not homogenized - everyone is different and beautiful and just as valid as anyone else. If someone is in a queer space and says they are queer, they are queer.

I don’t owe anyone androgyny. I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I am queer. I belong.

(Now – in other terms of privilege, yes. I am privileged because I am white, lower middle class, and appear able bodied. I don’t identify as trans. And there are other folks who have to deal with this bullshit ‘passing privilege’ stuff too – trans folks, intersex folks.  All of the shit I am saying? Goes DOUBLE for queer BIPOC who identify as bi/pan. And trans folks and BIPOC trans folks have it even worse. Because of my own privilege, I feel pretty safe to talk about this, but please remember that all of us in the queer community should be elevating more marginalized voices and people who are not able to voice their concerns on this. This happens all the time. If you see it, speak up against it because fuck this bullshit.)