#// please don’t ask how much i cried it’s actually embarrassing

[pierce-walker]

self-para  \  the sand runs out. men’s bathroom, rhee’s bar and grill. approximately 11:20 pm.

trigger warnings: knives, blood, murder, death.

i’m falling through the hourglass and i don’t think i’ll ever make it back so i throw stones at walls i’ll never climb, victim to the sands of time i’m falling through the hourglass, the hourglass.

Pierce would be lying if he said he hadn’t been distracted lately. His father had grown increasingly pushy in the last few months, begging and pleading for money. It was honestly pathetic, but the constant harassment was starting to wear him down. It was getting to the point where he felt he had only two options: either give him the change or cut him off. In addition to that, self-publishing his music had turned out to be a lot more complicated than he was expecting. But he was tired of keeping it to himself, tired of only showing his craft to Kahlan, to Emi, to Adee. It was beyond time for him to finally take the leap.

His phone buzzed again, and he jolted, his leg crashing into the surface before him. The glass of beer resting untouched on the table tumbled, spilling amber liquid all over him. He sighed, staring at the mess for a moment. The beer slowly rolled across the table like a wave, dripping over the side when it reached it, directly onto his jeans—just his luck.

Before cleaning it up, he tugged his phone out of his pocket. The number he’d expected flashed on-screen and he rolled his eyes, setting it on the other side of the table, away from the beer puddle. Slowly, Pierce got to his feet, moving towards the bathrooms as quickly as he could. Hopefully, no one was in there, and he could clean up before anybody noticed he was gone…or saw the mess on the table.

The bathroom was indeed deserted, and he sighed in relief as he moved toward the paper towel dispenser, grabbing a couple to begin the hopeless task of cleaning the alcohol off of his jeans. He patted off his pockets, feeling something stiff below the fabric.

Quickly, he dug out a small, folded-up piece of paper. Unfolding it, he realized it was an old draft of one of his songs. With a small laugh, he dumped it and the paper towels into the trash can. He didn’t need that draft anymore—the final was sitting on his kitchen table, waiting for him to finally deal with it tomorrow.

Grabbing a couple of extra paper towels, he moved to the sink, running the water to wash his hands. He also splashed some on the denim, hoping it would help rid the already-forming stain. As he did, he heard the door click open behind him. 

“Sorry,” he said instinctively, not looking up, “I’ll just be a sec. Those tables are super easy to jiggle, eh?” Pierce chuckled. Whoever it was didn’t deign to give him a reply.

Eyebrows knitting together momentarily, he turned off the sink faucet, dabbing the last of the water from his jeans. Perhaps the recent events in the town just had him on edge, but something about the idea of being alone with someone in an enclosed area didn’t sit quite right with him. Pierce took a deep breath, stepping to the left to throw away the towels in his hand.

He never got the chance to step back.

Shooting pain drilled through the back of his abdomen, harsh enough for him to stumble forward, catching himself on the sink. His eyes darted down, red viscosity already mixing into the beer stain on his jeans. He should've trusted his instincts more.

Mouth open in a wordless O, he looked back in horror at his assailant. The masked figure was standing across from him in silence, silence as sharp as their blade; still in their hand, blood dripping from its point. Pierce could already feel the burn in his side, his arm snaking around to press a hand over the gaping hole. The knife hadn't come out cleanly, leaving a ragged tear in his shirt—the edges were already stained dark brown with blood. 

Suddenly, urgency ripped through him. If he didn't move, he was going to die in this bathroom. Jerking into motion, Pierce clumsily whipped backward, using his momentum to stagger into the killer—because that's who they were, he was certain. They didn't seem to expect it, stumbling up against the wall. Immediately, he pushed towards the door, trying to put as much distance between himself and the other person as possible.

Foot slipping on the tile quickly slickening with his blood, he fell against the door, banging on the bottom. Somehow, it had been locked—the wood barely moved under his fist. A muffled cheer went up from outside. No one could hear him, and Pierce's heart sank at the realization.

Sharp pain tore a cry out of him as his assailant caught him messily on the leg once more. He blinked, trying to see through tears of pain. He could feel his heart thumping weakly against his chest, his breath coming in shallow gasps, and all he could think was this is it. I'm going to die here.

Pangs of regret began to numb the pain from his wounds, closing like a fist around his heart as he lay panting on the tile floor of the bathroom. Regret that he’d never be able to publish a song, and regret that he’d been selfish enough to keep them to himself. Regret that he’d never told Finley he still loved her, and regret that he’d never moved on. Regret that he’d never looked into his birth family, and regret that he’d never cut them off—too much regret for too little time.

The world was already flickering, and he screamed as another jolt of pain ran through his leg, though no noise came out. Through his dim and blurry vision, he could just barely make out the figure in front of him, pulling his leg towards them. They were trying to get him away from the door. He reached out an arm helplessly, every muscle shuddering before it dropped to the ground, the sheer strength needed to lift it already gone. 

There was nothing he could do.

[kakashisbabymama218]

i don’t know if I’d rather have mean katsuki who looks down at you with disgust as you pull off of his cock gasping for air, choking and sputtering, muttering out a ‘useless, can’t even suck dick right’ with a click of his tongue.

the words bring tears to your eyes but this time for a different reason. he’s nice enough to give you a couple of seconds to get your breathing back to normal and for the coughing to stop before he’s guiding your head right back to his cock, watching as your lips stretch to accommodate his girth.

he barely gives you a second to adjust before he’s pushing in deep, deeper than he was before. you try to breathe through your nose, taking in short puffs of air. you don’t last long before you’re sputtering and coughing, pulling off once again, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.

katsuki makes an irritated sound in the back of his throat and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, it’s not your fault he’s so big! so long and thick that the thought of ever taking him fully down your throat was starting to seem impossible.

“maybe I should just go find somebody else to suck me off, maybe someone who can actually suck dick” he snaps.

ouch he’s really not holding back tonight is he? You’re tired of this, your jaw hurts and your pussy is throbbing and empty, slick dripping down your thighs.

I wish he would just hurry up and fuck me already!

katsuki lets out a laugh before he’s gripping your hair tightly in your hair, bending down until his face is directly in front of yours.

fuck, didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“you wish I would just hurry up and fuck you already, huh?” one hand wraps around your throat, the other making its way between your legs. His fingers trail over your clit, causing your hips to buck, desperate for release, before circling your entrance. “but if you can’t even take me down your throat, how could you ever expect to take me in this tight ass pussy?”

or sweet katsuki who presses gently kisses to your neck as he splits you open on his cock.

“you take me so well pretty girl” he murmurs against your neck, lips trailing up to kiss the shell of your ear. pulling out until slowly, one inch at a time until nothing but the fat head of his cock remains inside of you, before pushing right back in just a slowly. your head is thrown back in pleasure, moaning out as he grinds up into you.

“fuck baby” he sighs, you feel the words fall from his lips as he mumbles them against your skin. “so wet, so tight— so perfect”

katsuki lifts his head, his red eyes watching you, taking in every expression that crosses your face. from the way your eyes squeeze together tightly when he angles his hips up and hits that soft spot inside of you, to the way your lips part in a whimper when he brings his thumb down to rub circles your puffy clit, oversensitive from being ignored all night.

“please” you whine out.

Katsuki’s head cocks to the side “please what, baby?”

you’re not even sure what it is your asking for, maybe for him to stop or even speed up.

its too much; the way he throws his head back in pleasure, moaning loudly when you clench down tightly around him, his hips sputtering for just a moment before he regains his composure and fucks into you even deeper, pace picking up just a little before he slows right back down.

the warmth of his breath against your ear as he whispers filthy words that are a complete contrast to the way he fucks you so sweet and gentle as if you'd break if he went too hard.

the absolute fullness you feel as katsuki fills up every inch of your pussy, allowing you to feel each and every vein that drags along your walls.

“I love you” he tells you with a particularly deep thrusts, pulling a gasp from your lips.  

“I love you.” Paired with a kiss to your left cheek.

“I love you.” A kiss to your right cheek.

“I love you” he connects his lips to yours, one hand coming up to hold your cheek as he kisses you slowly, letting his tongue slip into your mouth as he swallows down your cries of pleasure.

or maybe I wanna mixture of both…

“listen to you” he coos, the hand not pumping in and out of you quickly coming up to rest against your throat. he’s still wearing all of his clothes not having enough time to take them off before you were tugging at his pants and dragging him towards the bedroom, pushing him down on the bed and lowering yourself down onto his awaiting mouth.

!ow he has you laid on your back, three fingers stuffed into your cunt as his thumb occasionally rubs at your clit before pulling away, leaving you panting and whining out at the lost of simulation.

he leans down, lips ghosting over yours. “already came twice but still begging for more.”

his hand tightens around your neck, fingers squeezing and cutting off your air supply for a few seconds before loosening his grip.

“greedy little thing” he mumbles before connecting his mouth to yours. The kiss is wet and messy and you can taste yourself on his tongue. you’re so lost in pleasure, the feeling of his mouth on yours that everything else seems to disappear.

katsuki curls his fingers and you cry out when he hits your gspot with each flick of his wrist. the familiar tightening in your tummy is what brings you back down to earth.

“gonna cu—“ you attempt to warn him only for it to be cut off with a long whine, your now empty hole clenching around nothing, instantly missing the feeling of being stuffed.

“why’d you stop?” you ask, glaring up at him.

“cause I wanna feel you cum around my cock”

“ooh fuckkk” you say in unison as katsuki sinks into your pussy. your hands find his back, nails scratching at his skin as he begins plowing into you, thrusting into you so fast you barely have time to breathe before the air is being knocked out of your lungs.

katsuki doesn’t slow down, instead he pulls you up against his chest and begins fucking into you. This new angle allowing him to reach even deeper.

[ladymarvel27]

Number 1 fangirl | Carlos Sainz

carlos sainz x reader

Description: After the baku crash

Warnings: Tears, a little angst, brief mentions of smut(not actual smut thought)

Word count: 900

f1 masterlist

Your eyes were glued to the screen, you weren’t even blinking. He was fighting for the podium and time wasn't much. You were silently praying he would get a podium. You blinked and you saw him crashing against the wall, alongside Checo. How did it happen? And when did this happen? All the weekend’s hard work went to waste in the blink of an eye. And he was in the wall. The tyres were thrashed against the barriers. It looked horrible; you were scared for his life.

Your lips were quivering and your eyes moistened. You didn’t even realise when a tear fell down your cheek. On the screen, you saw the camera focused on you. Your red and teary face made you feel embarrassed. Immediately removing your headphones and taking your stuff, you rushed to hide in his driver’s room. You couldn’t control your tears. And the garage wasn't the perfect place to let out.

Closing the door behind you, you hide your face in a chilli plushie. You cried for a few minutes then sat silently, waiting for him to return.

The door clicks open after what it felt like an eternity. But it was just half an hour. He enters the room and closes the door behind himself. “Hey,” He greets awkwardly and walks to you. “Where were you?” You asked, your eyes a little red from the crying. “Summoned by stewards,” he mocks in a ‘commentator’ voice. “They are going to penalise you for Singapore, aren’t they?” You ask. “I hope not,” he replies and wraps his arms around you. You buried yourself into his arms. “Were you crying?” You lift your face and look at him. “Who told you?” You sniffed and narrow your eyes. The memory of your teary face on the screen flashes in your mind. He chuckles. “Don’t cry, it’s just a race.” He rubs your back gently.

He pulls away and sits on the edge of the bed, resting his back against the wall. “How are you feeling?” You asked him, “That must have been one hell of a crash.” You slowly make your way to him and rest yourself against his shoulder.

“It wasn’t severe. I was severely disappointed thought,” he pulled you in his lap, “But yeah, it is what it is.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Yeah, I am hu-”

“Where?” You interrupted him and immediately grabbed his shoulders tightly.

“No, not physically,” he answers right away, trying to loosen your super tight grip, “I meant, emotionally.”

You softly said, “Oh.” You two fall silent. He slowly takes off his fireproofs and a few moments later he is sitting just in his boxers. He is breathing slowly, probably calming himself after all this adrenaline rush.

“I have to leave for media duties,” he spoke as his hand reached for the team gear. You placed a kiss on his lips. His grip loosens on his team gear as he grips your waist and pulls you closer to deepen the kiss. You grip his shoulder with one hand and your other hand goes in his hair. You felt his hand on the zip of your dress. He undoes it and the dress falls off. You fall into the bed alongside him. The next few minutes were filled with your moans of pleasure. He finally rested when you were completely drained by your climax. You catch your breath. You press your back against his chest as his arm encircles your waist. His breathing is still heavy against your ear. You shuffled and turned to bury your face in his chest. He grips around you firmly and asks, “Why were you crying?” “The crash looked horrible,” you mumbled as your eyelids were dropping after the intimate session you two just had “, I thought I lost you.”

“Oh,” he mutters and continues speaking loudly, “but hey, I am here, complete, one piece.”

Someone knocks on the door. “Carlos?” A voice spoke. “Media duties, please come quickly.”

“Okay, I am coming in a few!” Carlos answers loudly to the person at the door. He gets up from the bed. You whine from the loss of contact. “I have to leave Senorita.”

“Hmm,” you managed to speak out with all the energy left.

“You should rest here for a while, I will be back soon.” You nod, barely able to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, Amor, sleep,” he runs a soothing hand on your back. Soon you drifted off to sleep and he left the room, closing the door behind.

You were awakened by his voice calling you, “Carino, wake up!” You get up and he helps you get dressed.

“Did you rest well?” He asked. You nod. “How was everything?” You asked.

“Yeah. It was fine.”

“So the penalty?” He smiled and shook his head. “You are more worried about it than me.”

“What can I say? I am your fan too.”

“No, not just a fan,” he leans in to whisper to you “, You are my number 1 fangirl.” He retreats leaving a confused expression on your face. “HUH?”

He unlocks his phone and shows you memes made on your teary face. You blushed in embarrassment. He scrolls past many memes and shows you a post: Petition to declare Y/n as the number 1 fangirl.

You chuckle. “It’s a good one, huh,” he commented. You nodded as a small smile made its way to your face. He places his hand on the small of your back, "Let's go back to the hotel?" You nod and get up.

Seperators credit: @saradika-graphics @saradika

Taglist: @faithshouseofchaos @itsjustvs4

[slut4thebroken]

Dad/stepdad finding your vibrator hcs

Tommy Shelby, Cillian Murphy, Raymond Leon, Jackson Rippner, Lenny Miller

(All accurate to the universe’s time period)

Tommy Shelby - To say he was shocked would be an understatement. At first he was concerned— were you suffering from hysteria and he didn’t even know? But then he remembered that vibrators have very recently started being used for more… personal activities. He confronted you about it anyway though. You blushed and stuttered out “I- I can explain..” and he found it amusing at first, but he kept his expression stern. It was when you broke down crying that he suddenly softened. “I’m sorry, daddy. Please don’t be mad..” You cried out, making him pull you into a hug and shush you, trying to calm you down. “I’m not mad, love.” He said gently. “Just… tell me what it’s for.. I promise I won’t be mad.” You looked up at him with wide, teary eyes to see if he was being truthful. When you found no sign of a lie, you whispered that you use it for self pleasure, which he already knew. He just wanted to hear you say it. He sighed and shook his head. “You think you’re old enough to be playing with adult toys like this?” He asked, and you muttered out an excuse of how you just turned 18. “Maybe so, but I still don’t think it’s appropriate at your age.” That triggered something inside of you and you whined about how you’re an adult and you can do what you want, acting far too bratty for his liking. “Is that so? An adult, are you?” He had a condescending smirk on his lips and he pretended to think it over, then scoffed a laugh. “Fine then. If you’re an adult I guess I should start punishing you like one.” His tone was noticeably darker now. “Get on the fucking bed.”

Cillian Murphy - He knew he should’ve ignored it, respected your privacy… But he just kept thinking about you using it. The pretty sounds you probably made, the way your cheeks probably became flushed… But then he started thinking about you using it with someone.. Did you have a secret boyfriend? Or were you exploring your sexuality all on your own… Deciding to do the responsible thing, he started planning out when and how to talk to you about all of these new things you may be feeling as a developing young woman. One day he sat down with you, gently told you what he knew and reassured you when you immediately became embarrassed. He told you that it was natural and nothing to be ashamed of… “A young girl like yourself needs someone to guide her, teach her what’s right and how to be safe.” He said softly, brushing your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. “As your father, I’m afraid that role falls on me.” He tried not to seem too excited by the idea. Standing up, he walked over to where the toy was hidden and brought it back over to the bed, handing it to you. “I need to make sure you’re using it the right way. I’d hate for my little girl to get hurt.” He frowned, watching as your eyes widened. He didn’t let you protest as he helped removed your clothes and laid you down on the bed. “Now show me exactly how you’re using it, sweetheart.”

Raymond Leon - At first, he almost mistook it for something else, but when he did a double take, he realized what it actually was. A rush of emotions hit him, the main ones being anger, disappointment, and arousal. Were you turning into a whore? Did he do something wrong when raising you? When you came home one day, he was waiting on your bed, the vibrator next to him. You were immediately hit with a wave of embarrassment and humiliation- good. You started trying to defend yourself, saying it’s not what it looks like. “Don’t try to play innocent.” He scoffed. “Get over my fucking lap.” His voice was so harsh, it made you tear up as you begged him not to. So he roughly grabbed you and pulled you over his thighs, then flipped your skirt up. He spanked you until his hand was burning and there were little welts on your ass. You were sobbing loudly, the pain becoming too much, and with the way you kept squirming and rubbing against his cock, he eventually got hard. He forced the vibrator between your legs, making you apologize for your whorish behavior as you came over and over again until he was satisfied. “Get on your knees.” He demanded and you slid off his lap to the floor, still sobbing and almost hyperventilating from the overwhelming pleasure. “There are consequences for acting like a whore.” He spat, quickly opening his pants to free his cock, making your breath catch in your throat. “So, be a good girl for once and finish what you started.”

Jackson Rippner - He had been trying so hard to be a good father figure- god knows you desperately needed it. But as soon as he found a vibrator hidden away (very poorly) in one of your drawers, he just lost all control. He managed to wait a few days until it was only the two of you in the house, then confronted you. This wasn’t his proudest moment… but he didn’t regret it. “What would your mom think, huh?” He asked, subtly threatening you. “I would hate to have to tell her… but maybe we can work something out.” He said coyly, enjoying the way you blushed and squirmed and pouted. He made you beg for it, for his cock and for him to not tell your mom. Once he had you underneath him with his cock fully sheathed in your little cunt, he practically plowed into you until you cried. “This is your own fault.” He hissed. “The only reason this is happening is because you teased me by leaving it somewhere for me to find.” You sobbed harder and shook your head, unable to do anything else to protest. “You’ve been a fucking tease since day one with those tiny little shirts and the skirts that barely cover your ass… I’m fucking sick of it.” He growled, getting more worked up. “From now on, you’re gonna let me use this cunt whenever I want, or I’ll tell your mom about your little secret, and how you seduced me and begged me to fuck you.”

Lenny Miller - You should’ve known better than to think you could hide things from him. Just like you should’ve known better than to think you could lie to him. But when he confronted you, you denied it. Which he figured you might do… That’s why he set up a camera in your room, hidden in a vent but angled perfectly at your bed. The quality was not the best, but it was good enough to still obviously show what you were doing. He can’t even count the amount of times he came to that footage of you. When you tried lying, he sighed and reached for the remote, already having the tape ready in the tv. The second it turned on, you lips parted in shock and your face paled, then a very dark blush took over your cheeks. “There are a few different ways this can go. Option one: the camera stays up and you can keep the vibrator. Option two: I punish you, then confiscate it, but I’ll take down the camera.” He paused, lowering his voice into something darker and thick with arousal. “Or option three: you show me just how sorry you are for owning something like this. I’m still going to punish you, but if you do a good enough job begging, I might just let you keep it.” He said coyly. He waited impatiently for you to choose and when you couldn’t get any words out, still glancing at the tv, he chose for you. He spanked you until you cried and made you suck his cock to prove you were sorry, then forced you to ride him while you begged for his forgiveness.

[pedge-page]

HIIIII UR LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAV WRITERS IN TUMBLR and ily so much 💝 i appreciate all your hard work that you poured into your writings, making them perfect to read. i've been obsessed with himbo!joel lately and i have an idea. idk if you've done this before but how ab himbo!joel and piss kink crossover? ignore this if you're feeling that you're not comfortable this ask! 🩷

Nonny, I know you submitted this back in May but this has been top of my mind for so long. When i first read this, I was ELATED because Himbo!Joel's original first draft was actually a piss kink! I went a different direction but I'm sooooo glad you've asked this because i didn't have to throw away the og after all :) Thank you for your patience and please enjoy!

Different Kind of Lovin'

Himbo!Joel Miller x F!Reader

warnings: Piss kink, Mommy kink, himbo!Joel, unprotected sex, peeing inside vagina, sub!Joel, dom-ish!Reader, public sex, slight somnophilia, brief piss drinking

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Joel howls as you clench around him, taking a moment to pant like a dog in heat.

He buries his nose into your neck, where it’s safe, where he belongs, as you stroke along his sweated back. “You okay, baby boy?” You coo softly into his ear.

You feel his head nod. “Mkay...” He shivers before kissing your cheek and resuming his thrusts. In, out, up, down, again and again, in ample rhythm. He’s practicing a beat today. There’s a time for wild fucking with the intent to cum his brains out, and there’s a time for slow, sensual, methodical sex, which is something he’s working so well on today.

“You’re doing so good for Mommy today."

He purrs. His hips stutter from excitement, and you feel his cock swell impossibly larger in your swollen, squelching pussy. Joel pauses briefly, collecting himself before returning to his steady pace.

“Mommy,” he hums dangerously. You turn your head to look at him, but he’s still buried into your neck. Almost as if embarrassed by something.

“What is it, baby? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

He grunts again, shaking his head. His pace falters again. Humping in quick, desperate succession. He’s straining hard, fists clenched under your upper back. 

You gather his face, and he nearly loses it right there. Your eyes on him, so soft and sincere, and there for him. Always there. Whenever he needs you and whenever he wants you. Even when he doesn’t know it yet. You’re there, you’re here, you’re his.

“Tell me,” you whisper lovingly while stroking along the stubble of his beard.

He gathers his courage. “Mommy. I—um. I need…I need to pee.”

You can laugh. but a small grin cracks at your lips. “Is that it?”

He nods quickly. You realize all the clenching, and the poor rhythm was most likely due to him trying to hold it, as opposed to trying to be steady. 

Your smooth calves slink along his taught ass before wrapping around, securing him to you.

“That’s okay, angel,” you nod encouragingly, using your ankles to start rocking his hips back and forth, driving his cock in and out of you again. He moans, pleasure consuming his intuition. “You can do it inside.”

“I-Inside?”

His length pulses excitedly, but he’s trying so hard to act like that didn’t just give him a thrill. As if he can pretend he didn’t think of it before.

“Mhm. You can squirt all your juices into Mommy’s pussy. I want everything you give me. Give me your juices, Joel. Mommy wants to feel your warmth filling her. No matter what it is. Mommy will take it.”

“But—ugh fuck Mommy please don’t squeeze like that—I don’t… wanna pee myself—“

“You’re not gonna pee yourself,” you say sternly. Your hands make their way to his ass, pulling him into you at your own desired pace. He can’t be left to be in control of his desires right now, so you need to take charge, to show him it’s really okay.

To show him what he’s missing out on.

“You’re gonna squirt your piss inside me. It’s gonna be okay. It’ll feel really good honey, I promise.”

“Oh my god,” he cries. His brows are drawn tightly together as he takes your lead. His throbbing member is practically forcing out your sweet pussy juices, making way to fill it with his own brew. 

You can barely see straight as he positions his knees to force himself deeper into your womb. Arching your back, Joel holds on tightly, arms tucked below your pits and hands snaked back over your shoulders as his whining increases. The room fills with your hot breaths, Joel’s throaty rasps, and the fastened slap of wet skin.

His voice catches in his throat when it happens. The tingling sensation feels free, and he releases inside of you. He can’t believe it. Can’t comprehend the feeling inside him, inside you right now. Dumping, pouring, squirting and stuffing you to the brim with his massive load of hot urine just shooting out of his cock and safely into your pussy. He never knew it could be this good. you were right, you always are of course, but to think it would amount to the level of pleasure, yet on a different end, as cumming inside you.

“That’s it—that’s my boy—ohhhh honey you had to go a lot didn’t you?” You tease, eyes rolling as you start to shake and cum around his cock. “Oh fuck! Oh baby that’s it. Keep squirting inside me. Fuck you always have big load. Always ready to fill Mommy with your sweet hot juices. Fuck Joel, keep going!”

You quiver as Joel’s mouth still is agape, watching you, having an out of bodied experience himself. He feels another stream, stronger than the last ready to make its way from his bladder to your cunt, and here it comes-- fuck yes!

Hot and wet, his urine plunges out of you in spurts, soaking your ass and the bed below. He pushes in further, feeling his balls and pelvis get soaked with his new juices that his Mommy loves so much. Why had he never peed inside you before? Given the blissed out look on your braindead face, he knows you liked it, you liked it so much. He starts thrusting again, eager to give you more of his warm juices from his body.

The squelch is phenomenal. So hot, hot, hot, sticky and wet all over. Fueled now the he still hasn’t cum. Where his piss ends and your slick begins, he can’t tell, and he loves it. Loves that he’s put something in you that couldn’t be contained, flows out like the love he fills you with each day.

You laugh off his hungry fucking again, no longer caring to practice rhythm. He can rut, hump, piss and cum to his hearts content. So long as he’s buried balls deep inside you, anything he wants to pour into you, he’s eager to put it in.

Eventually, he can’t pee anywhere comfortably unless it’s inside you. Which makes regular day to day routines… slightly more complicated than before. 

Like at night, when you’re fast asleep with his cum still sticky and leaking out of you. He fists his cock and slides right in, careful not to stir you. He holds his breath and starts to go, wetting the you and the bed. He passes out in a puddle of his own piss before you can really discipline him. 

He finds you without fail, whether you’re in the same house or 5 miles apart. When he needs to go, he gets hard too, and he knows only Mommy can handle that for him.

Pushes you against a wall and grinds his length against your ass. “Mommy,” he hums with a grin. “I need to go, please.”

It’s not really an ask, as he strips your pants down and pushes aside your panties, rolling his bulbous tip against your slit. He doesn’t wait for a reply. Poor thing, probably holding it in all day and doing a little funny dance as he rushed his way to find you and give you his juices.

“Have a big potty for ya today. Almost burst my juice everywhere. Got to ya just in time…”

He pushes in one go, his voice stuttering with a lazy grin. Not even a thrust later and he moaning in content as he pisses inside your hot pussy with even hotter urine. It rapidly spills and trickles down your thighs. Luckily from experience, you had known to discard and kick your pants away when he does this, so the yellow puddle of his liquid forms on the pavement below. 

He grips your hips with both meaty paws, grinding his front into your ass as closely as possible. It feels best when his tip can brush along your cervix before spurting out the last of his potty. 

“Joel Miller, you have made a mess of me,” you say, shaking your head with a slight smirk.

Rather than feeling any remorse, he returns your grin with an even bigger one of his own, slowly sliding down to his knees while maintaining eyes with you.

He swallows just as you lean back and spread your legs, fingers parting your folds to reveal the shiny translucent drips of his piss still wetting your cunt and down your inner legs. 

“Clean me spotless, and I’ll let you piss in Mommy’s ass, and I’ll plug it all day so I keep your love warm for the next time you have to go.” 

You never need to ask twice. His tongue is already lapping at your knees, between your thighs and up to your succulent, swollen, precious, pretty pussy. Sucking the little dribble on your clit. Straightening his tongue to dive deep into your entrance before flattening it, stretching your wall and making a slide so his pee and your juices can slide right into his mouth.

He smiles like a stupid, drunk, fantastic boy.

He can’t wait to put his piss in your ass next. 

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @peekyourinterest

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Just Keep Breathing, part 2

TFW & Winchester little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: just a fluffy little follow up to part 1

You couldn’t breathe. Your mouth was opening and closing like some macabre imitation of a fish, but no air would come.

Sam and Dean were there. Dean tried to grab your arm, and Sam was reaching out to cup your face but everywhere their skin touched yours, you started bleeding.

Your lungs were on fire, you were crying, and Sam and Dean were too scared to hold you in their arms, even as you died.

You awoke with a jerk to find that you actually were being held—in fact, Sam had you in his arms and Dean was shaking your shoulders.

“Wake up!” Dean breathed a sigh of relief when your open eyes met his. “Hey sweetheart. You ok?”

You nodded silently, not trusting your voice.

“Ok.” And then Dean was pulling you into his arms, and you nearly cried in relief when you got to relax in his embrace with no pain. “Ok, you’re safe.”

“I think I’m gonna go make us some breakfast,” Sam said, letting go of you and standing up. You turned and latched onto him, unwilling to let him go.

“Please don’t…” you didn’t want to tell him not to go—you were hungry, after all—but you’d also spent so much time not able to touch your big brothers, that now you were scared to let them go.

Sam seemed a little confused, but no less willing to help.

“Ok…uh, hop on.” Sam turned the awkward silence into an opportunity to turn his back to you, waving you onto his back. You grinned—he always knew how to work with your emotions. You jumped up on his back, giggling when he grunted and hoisted you higher.

“Ok ok, now hold on tight. Dean, you coming?”

“Right behind you,” Dean chuckled.

…

You stuck like glue to your brothers as they worked in the kitchen; if you weren’t holding onto Sam’s hand while he was cooking eggs, then you were hanging off Dean’s sleeve while he was making coffee.

They weren’t stupid, and neither were you—you could see them glancing at each other over your head, silent concern etched on their faces.

“Hey, how about we eat in the Dean cave and watch a movie?” Dean suggested, his arm slung around you shoulder. You burrowed closer to his side and nodded.

“You doing alright?” Sam asked gently as he plated the scrambled eggs.

“I’m ok.” Your voice was quiet, but Sam believed you—you were probably tired, but he was sure you’d be ok. “Are you coming with us?”

“Uh, yeah.” Sam nodded. He’d planned on doing some research in the library for a case, but he could make a call and ask one of his hunter buddies to do it instead. “Yeah, I’ll be there in just a minute.”

You and Dean took your plates and retreated to the Dean cave. The movie was just starting when Sam finally came in, and when you saw his figure enter the room you jumped up to greet him with a hug.

“Hey.” Once you let go, Sam got on one knee so he could look at you face-to-face. “What’s going on, are you ok?”

You nodded, shuffling suddenly in embarrassment.

“I just…I just need you today.”

“Ok.” Sam pulled you into his arms, and when he stood you lifted off the ground. “Ok, then I’m yours.”

…

Your head was resting in Dean’s lap, your legs splayed over Sam’s, when the flutter of wings announced Cas’s arrival.

“Cas!” You were up and in his arms before he even knew what was happening. He hugged you back.

“Hello, little one,” he greeted. “Are you feeling better today?”

“Well, I’m not dying,” you quipped, grinning up at your angel friend. “Are you staying?” Your fingers tightened on Cas’s hands, like you could anchor him to the room.

Cas just smiled at you.

“Of course.”

…

After two movies, you took over Dean’s speaker system with your iPod. You dragged Sam to his feet, laughing. He was hesitant and shy at first, but once you had him up and you were dancing around him, he got into quickly. He’d spun you around about five times before Dean stepped in and stole Sam’s spot as your dance partner.

“Let me show you how it’s done.” Dean was grinning as he took over. You and Sam laughed mercilessly at Dean’s ridiculous dance moves.

Dean was unfazed, grinning as he said, “This is what real dance looks like.”

“Yeah, the real chicken dance,” you giggled.

Dean looked mock-offended.

“Ok then superstar, show us how it’s done.”

“I already did,” you argued. “Now it’s Cas’s turn.”

“No no no no no.”

Cas’s protests went completely ignored as you dragged him to his feet.

He—very, very reluctantly—joined the other three of you in your various dances.

Each and every one of you had some moves that you would never live down, but nobody cared.

It was one of the best days ever.

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl

[wilbursprincess]

helping soothousebur with a wet dream

this came in my head while making random words what should be in the dictionary

- 🎙 anon

“Why Don’t I Give You A Hand While You Tell Me About It?

Soothousebur x Female Reader

Warnings: Handjob, mentions of choking, humiliation but not really? Soothousebur being so whiny and needy <3

Hi 🎙 anon! Nice to see some more requests from you, as much as I love your little brainrots in my inbox <3 As a rather inexperienced person, I had to actually look up what a wet dream was BUT thanks to some lovely fic writers on this app, I have now figured it out and am fully prepared to write all the Soothousebur smut you could want! :)

Sorry for throwing in some choking, but you can’t tell me Soothousebur isn’t into that ;)

Fic below cut!

I’m dozing, Wilbur’s arm slung around my waist as I’m curled into him as the little spoon. It’s still pitch-black out, and I don’t want to open my eyes to look at the clock. It’s the first night I’m staying over at his house, and we both collapsed into his bed after an evening of every single dirty little thing we could think of doing to the other.

I’m about to fall back asleep, body so heavy and tired I feel like I’m melting into the mattress, when I feel him stir and groan behind me, something hard poking into the back of my thigh.

Eh, morning wood happens, I think to myself, tugging the covers over my shoulders and closing my eyes again. It’s not like he’s in charge of it.

Another whimper jolts me out of my sleepy haze, Wilbur’s arms tugging me closer into him as he starts to rub himself against me. Is this normal? I wonder, shrugging it off as him just moving around in his sleep.

After a few minutes, he’s so hard he’s throbbing, hips jerking even as he sleeps. Ok, that’s not ‘moving around in his sleep’ anymore.

“Wilbur,” I whisper, turning around and shaking his shoulder until he blinks open his eyes. “What on earth were you doing?”

He just whines, snatching his arm from around my waist and pawing at himself over his boxers. “Wet dream.”

“Even after what we did before bed?” I ask, amazed.

Wilbur nods. “It was… about you.”

“About me, huh?” I ask, gently stopping his hand. “Why don’t I give you a hand while you tell me about it?”

He’s nodding before I even get the words out.

Wilbur’s absolutely dripping with pre-cum when I stick my hand in his boxers, desperately thrusting into my hand.

“You’re so hard,” I say in awe. “Must’ve been a good dream, hm?”

He nods. “You were… riding me.”

“I was riding you?” I echo, twisting my thumb over the tip on my way back down. “What else was I doing, baby?”

Whining, he presses his face into my shoulder. “Pulling my hair… hand around my throat.”

“You like being choked, sweetie?” I murmur, hesitantly placing my hand on his bare chest.

Nodding, he glances down at the hand just below his throat. “A… little, yea.”

Gently, I press my hand into his throat, barely applying any pressure. “Like this?”

His eyes roll back in his head and he lets out a low moan. “Just like that.”

“What else was I doing to you in the dream, Wilbur?” I ask, smiling as he’s falling apart from my strokes. “Talk to me, baby.”

Wilbur moans, a sweet noise that makes me speed up my hand. “Bouncing… on me. Calling me a… good boy.”

“Aww, good boy,” I tease, shocked when he cries out and spills all over my hand the second the words leave my mouth. He rides it out for an impressively long time, face burning from how premature he was.

“…sorry,” he murmurs sheepishly once he gets his voice back. “Just… that was really hot.”

I bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Do you even have anything left in you after that? Jesus, Wilbur.”

Wilbur gives me an embarrassed smile in the dim room. “I think I have a praise kink.”

“I’m not surprised,” I chuckle. “How about we get cleaned up and go back to sleep? I’m happy to try out some of your dream with you in the morning-“

He groans. “Oh, please do. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping now that I know I’ve got that to look forward too.”

[plaguechyld]

ok so i read ur “gently screwing kagaya to sleep” drab and now i’m obsessed with sub!kagaya🤭 can you write rough sex with him? like reader screws him so hard that he screams, hollers, and cries so loud that anyone passing his house could hear him? (and he loves how you don’t take pity on his frail body)

Sub!Kagaya x Dom!Reader

Contains: Rough sex, GN reader, Praising (Kagaya receiving), Dacryphilia, Overstim, Lots of thigh biting, Begging, Kagaya's whimpers, Voice kink, Reader implied to have a dick at the end

Synopsis: Kagaya being fucked as hard as he can take by his partner, you.

Extra: I'm obsessed with sub Kagaya too, like he's just so perfectly written to be a sub or a bottom. (Or both). Honestly he's my second fav character to write for. (Number one goes to Muzan.) Also I'm sorry that I haven't posted an actual fic recently, I've been having bad writers block.

Double Extra: Sub blogs, we need to band together to give Kagaya and Muzan more content where they don't dom. There's never enough sub content for either of them. 😞

Kagaya is laying on the futon, his legs spread wide open for you already. He had taken the liberty of lubing up his own hole as he was impatient tonight, though he would never admit such a thing. His blind eyes "look" up at you and even though he's lost sight in them, there is an unmistakable sense of need within the misty purple hues.

"Y/n... may I request something different tonight, please?" He asks in a quiet and rather shy tone. His cheeks are flushed with embarrassment and arousal as he awaits your response to his question. His chest rises and falls faster than normal as adrenaline pumps through his body from his situation.

"Yes of course, my dear. What is it?" You ask him in a gentle tone, your hands finding his chest. You take his sensitive nipples between your fingers and give them a few delicate squeezes. The sensation caused Kagaya's breath to hitch before he let out a small whimper, his voice gone for a few moments as you repeat the action.

"I want you to be rough with me, please." He requested in a slightly higher pitched tone than normal. He was grateful for his lack of sight at the moment because he knew that if he caught your gaze he would be unable to take the embarrassment that it would entail. He shifts his hips up when one of your hands trails down to his stomach. You slowly rub it as you pretend to contemplate his request, making him intentionally more aroused and desperate for your touch.

"Alright. I want you to say the word wisteria if it's too much for you, ok? And if you can’t talk then kick me twice." You say as you ready yourself. You move two of your fingers down to his hole but he stops you with a tug on your wrist. He looks away before speaking.

"I already prepped myself, can you just fuck me.. please?" He mumbled, his voice barely audible because of all of the emotions running through his body. You chuckle softly and kiss his forehead in reassurance. You lift his legs onto your shoulders and begin to place kisses on his inner thighs. He let out a little gasp for every single one of them. Your mind goes back to how he wanted you to be rough with him and it leads you to bite his thigh. He lets out a surprised moan at the feeling of your teeth digging into his sensitive skin. He let out more moans and whimpers as you repeated the action all over both of his thighs. At this point his cock was dripping with precum and he needed you badly. His hands squeezed the blankets below him as his body was flooded with the slightly painful stimulation. Before he can say a word about how badly he needs you, his legs are being lowered and his hole is being pushed against.

You thrust your hips forward, entering him halfway and making him let out a moan-ish scream. He clenches around you tightly, resulting in you letting out your own moan. Your hands find his thighs and slowly pet them while waiting for him to adjust to your size. He wraps his legs around your waist and his hands find their way to your back. He let out another loud and deep moan as you thrusted the rest of the way into him, bottoming him out fully. His nails dig into your back as he feels his mind slip away for a few moments from the pleasure you're giving him. He let out a loud gasp that soon turned into a moan when you start thrusting into him at a faster and harder pace than you've ever used before. Soon his voice raises in pitch and he's letting out whines, mewls and whimpers as you fuck him into the bed.

"O-Oh god! Too deep, mm~ please!" Kagaya cries to you, tears running down his cheeks as you bully his sensitive body perfectly. His legs are trembling and he lets out screams of pleasure as you continue to make love to him so roughly. You press a kiss to his lips, it's a gentle action and a big contrast from how you're treating his body. He kisses you deeply without thought, his mind already too fuzzy to really tell what was going on. He can feel himself growing closer to his orgasm and his moans grow into pleasure filled hollering. His cries eventually turn into sobs as his cheeks get even wetter with tears. His blind eyes roll up in his head as you thrust into his prostate over and over again, your hands at his waist so he can't attempt to struggle away from you, not that he ever would. His cries are easily overheard by the servants whom are tending to the estate but he doesn't care, all he cares about is getting more and more from your body. He loves it that you're not treating him like glass this time and he can no longer feel guilty for pushing you to do this. It just feels too good.

You let out your own moans, though they are overshadowed by Kagaya's loud shrieks of enjoyment and desperation. Your hand makes it's way down to his dick and you begin jerking him off quickly as you continuously thrust into him. He arches his back and lets out an even louder moan at the feeling of your hand around his cock. He let out a particularly loud moan before cumming, white spraying out of his cock and painting both of your stomachs white. He pants heavily and lets out a little whimper when he feels you pulling out of him. But then, he moans loudly when you resume your brutal pace. His body soon feels the sting of overstimulation from your brutal but loving actions.

"P-please! I just came! I can't take it!~" He complains in a whiny tone, though you quickly shut him up by kissing his lips aggressively. Despite himself, he finds that his cock is getting hard again. His legs continue to shake as he clings onto you for dear life. He buries his head into your neck as he moans louder and louder. Your hands go back to holding his waist as his back arches even more. There is no doubt that you've woken up the entire estate by now but that fact only serves to amuse you. You feel pride that you've been able to please your husband so much. Kagaya let out another pitiful scream, his voice beginning to grow hoarse from overuse. You can feel your own orgasm approaching and the way that your partner is squeezing around you only speeds up the process.

"Give me one more, darling." You whisper into his ear before he lets out wail at the overwhelming feeling of you rutting into him deep and hard. Still, he doesn't stop moving his hips in rhythm with your pace. He nods his head quickly as he moans over and over again, your name becoming similar to a mantra for him. Soon, he screamed your name loudly as he came again, more white staining your bodies. You came with him, your own cum filling him up and making him mewl from the sensation. You fuck him through his orgasm, making sure to milk every drop from him.

Slowly, you pull out of his twitching body and retrieve a wash cloth. You get up from the bed and wet the fabric with slightly warm water before cleaning Kagaya as best you can. After you clean the both of your bodies, you lay next to him and bring him to your chest. You rub his back slowly while murmuring sweet nothings to him as he slips away from consciousness. Soon, his little snores is all that can be heard from the once loud room. You follow suit, falling asleep mere minutes after him.

[upat4amwiththemoon]

i need some wanda angst ANYTHING PLSS

Wretched mirrors

Summary: Mom, are your arms open tonight?

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x daughter!reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, complicated mother-daughter relationship, bad mental health

Word count: 2259

a/n: you asked for it

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @sayah13 @wandsmxmff @emsmultiverse @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

Wanda hums a Sokovian lullaby with a smile on her face, as she braids five-year-old Y/N’s hair into a french braid. Y/N is swinging her legs, as her short feet can’t reach the floor yet, while she’s watching Bluey. Sometimes she giggles at the characters ok the television, and sings the opening song with them, clapping when the episode starts.

Every once in a while, Wanda has to set Y/N’s head back into a good position, so she can actually braid her hair, buy she doesn’t mind. This is her favorite time.

It’s early morning, the sun has just risen. There’s porridge in the pot, ready for them to eat once the braids are done. Birds are chirping outside and Wanda is spending time with her little girl. And she loves that little girl with her full heart. Her eyes are so innocent and big, they shine every time she learns something new. Her hair and skin is so soft, Wanda loves to hold her close as much as possible. Her tiny nose and chubby cheeks are perfect for playful pinching. She’s perfect. She couldn’t have asked for a better babygirl.

“All done, Y/N!” Wanda crouches in front of her, looking at her handiwork. “You look so cute, baby.” She smiles with her teeth and Y/N giggles. “Are you ready for breakfast?”

“Uhuh!” She raises her arms high in the air.

Wanda grins and lifts her up to the side of her hip. “Oh my goodness, how did my little girl get so tall all of a sudden?” She gasps, twirling them around.

Y/N giggles, “you’re holding me, mommy!”

“What are you talking about?” She gasps even deeper this time, lifting one of her arms up. “I’m not holding anything in this hand.”

“No!” Her laugh is like music for Wanda’s ears. “Other hand, silly mommy.”

“Is mommy being silly again?”

“Yes.”

Smiling, Wanda rubs her nose against Y/N’s. “Yes, she is, silly mommy. But guess what?” She grins, rubbing her cheek. “You’re my daughter, so you’re just as silly!”

Y/N starts laughing with her full body. The sound echoes through the house, making Wanda’s heart ache with joy. Her eyes tingle as she stares at her daughter.

Her daughter.

She’ll never get tired of saying that.

The pots and pans clang loudly as Wanda washes them. She’s using a lot more force than necessary for washing dishes. Y/N is sitting at the kitchen table, a math book in front of her and a pen in her hand. She’s trying to math work for school, but instead she’s crying.

“I’m sorry, mommy.” She cries out, too scared to look at her mother. “I’m really sorry, mommy.”

Wanda doesn’t answer. She slams a plate to the drying rack. Y/N is scared a dish will break.

“I didn’t mean to do so badly, I just didn’t get it.”

The tap gets turned off with force. “Do you understand how badly you embarrassed me?” Her voice is loud. She walks over and stops right next to Y/N, who is still too scared to look at her in the eyes. “Your grades have been so bad, the principal asked me if there are troubles at home. Do you at least get what that means, huh? It means your teachers think I’m a shit mother!”

“I’m sorry!” The tears are coming out faster.

“And then you start crying in front of the principal? You don’t do things like that!”

“You were yelling and I-“

“Oh, it’s all my fault again. I guess I’m the fucking worst mom then!” Wanda throws her hands in the air, walking to the living room and sitting on the couch. She turns the television on.

Y/N gets out of her seat, “you aren’t the worst mom,” she walks a few steps closer, trying to talk over the loud sound of the television, “you are a good mom, please. No one think you’re the worst.”

When Wanda doesn’t answer, Y/N drops down to her knees and start sobbing loudly. Wanda doesn’t stand up and come to comfort her, she doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even look at her. All she does, is watch the show, and let Y/N cry, until the tears stop and she goes back to doing her math work.

“I think there’s something wrong with me.” Is the first thing coming out of Y/N’s mouth since they got into the car.

They’ve been driving for twenty minutes towards the campsite where Y/N will be sending a week with her friends. There’s still and hour and a half left to drive.

“No honey there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re perfect.” Wanda assures, fiddling with the control of the radio. She’s trying to find a good channel. “You’re just thirteen and a teenager. It’s all normal.”

“No, mom,” she lets out a heavy sigh, “I think there’s really something wrong with me. Something doesn’t feel right in my head.”

“You’re just tired.”

“But the tiredness is never ending!” She turns her head to look at Wanda. “Look at me, please, mom. I need you to see me. There’s something wrong with me and I need you to see it too.”

Wanda’s eyes stay on the road. “Stop saying that, there’s nothing wrong with you.” Her lips are in a thin line, and her brows are scrunched. She’s starting to get annoyed.

“There has to be something wrong with me! This can’t be who I am. Please, mommy!”

With sharp moves, Wanda drives the car to the side of the road and stops it. “Shut up, right now! You’re being so grateful right now. You had a good childhood, you got food and water whenever you wanted, you had a roof over your head and all the toys you wanted to play with. There are people with worse lives, who have actual problems. So either keep your goddamn mouth shut, or walk the rest of the way, do you hear me?” She doesn’t start driving against until Y/N nods.

The rest of the car drive goes in silence. Y/N looks out the window all the way to the campsite, fighting her tears while Wanda hums along the song on the radio.

Opening the door as quietly as she can, Y/N steps inside the house, slowly putting her shoes to the mat. She closes the door and starts sneaking towards the living room. She stops on her tracks when she notices the television is on. “Well, are you going to come in or not?” Wanda’s heavy voice comes from the living room. Not bothering to be quiet anymore, Y/N walks to the living room, where Wanda is sitting on the couch, watching the mute television. “Where the hell have you been?” She turns to look at her daughter, but all Y/N does is shrug. “Do you know what the time is?”

She glances at the clock, “three.”

“Three in the night.” She’s staring Y/N right into her eyes, and Y/N stares back. Her eyes are red, but it’s not from crying. She hasn’t cried in a long time.

“Fun.”

Wanda stands up, coming right in front of Y/N, so she has to look up at her. “What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t the girl I know.”

“I’m not five anymore.”

“For fucks sake, Y/N, I know that, but you sure aren’t acting like a fifteen-year-old.” Y/N rolls her eyes and goes to walk away, but Wanda grabs her arm. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me. I am your mother and you’re supposed to respect me!”

“You don’t deserve my respect. You’re not a good person.” Her teeth are bared like an angry dog’s.

“And you think you are?” Wanda scoffs. “You’re my blood, so you’re just as bad. You’re horrible.”

Y/N is packing her things to two different boxes. One says to donation and the other to dorm. She’s nineteen years old and ready for college, ready to move away from her mother’s house. Most of the things in her room are already back, though she has to wait until tomorrow to actually leave. She’s taking the train to her university, not wanting to be in the same car with Wanda for six hours.

“Is packing coming along nicely?” Wanda appears to the doorway, leaning her shoulder against the doorframe. “I could help you out if you need me?”

“Uhh, I think I’ve got it.” She rubs the back of her neck, looking around her room. “There’s not much left.”

“Okay.”

They stand there in silence. Neither of them know how to talk to the other. Wanda never bothered to learn and Y/N gave up on trying. Besides, she couldn’t talk about the things she wanted to without crying, and she really doesn’t want to cry in front of her mom.

“Did you find any things to donate?”

“Some.”

Silence again. It’s making Y/N shake from the need to lay it all out for her. She wants to scream and throw things, but she just bites her lip. There’s no use. No matter what she says, her mother won’t lis-

“What do I have to do?” Y/N suddenly breaks the silence.

“Hm?” Wanda looks at her with a confused expression.

“What do I need to do to make you love me.” The silence is deafening. They’re staring at each other, but Wanda isn’t saying anything. She never does. “Tell me what to do!” Her voice gets louder, but Wanda doesn’t react. It makes Y/N angrier. All the times she was sobbing while her mother punished her with silent treatment coming to her mind. She hates silence. She can’t sleep in a quiet room anymore. “Tell me how to change myself to make you love me!” The tears start falling, and all Wanda does is stare. “Because it hurts, mom, it hurts so bad.” She’s getting desperate. She wants to hurt her, not physically, but the way she has hurt her. All she wants is for Wanda to feel the way she has always felt growing up. But instead of saying something hurtful, all she says is, “I’m sorry for being a bad daughter.”

Wanda walks out of the room, and Y/N wipes away her tears before continuing her packing.

After a few hours, Y/N is sitting on her bed, reading a book. A smell is coming from the kitchen, which tells her dinner is almost ready. She doesn’t want to go downstairs, at least not until Wanda somehow expresses she isn’t angry anymore.

Her whole body tenses when she hears steps coming upstairs. She’s holding her breath when Wanda walks into the room and sits behind her on the bed.

Y/N puts her book down, but doesn’t say anything. All Wanda does is set her head to a correct position and start making a french braid. There’s a piece stuck in Y/N’s throat as she sits there, it makes her whole body hurt, but she fights back the second set of tears threatening to fall.

Wanda’s fingers work in a fast and skillful pace, having done this multiple times. Y/N’s hair is longer now, and there’s a lot more of it, but still it gets done quickly. She puts the ponytail in place, kisses Y/N’s cheek and walks right out of the room.

Y/N takes the braid to her hand and holds it against her cheek. She starts crying silently. It doesn’t feel the same as it did when she was five years old.

Breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, Y/N holds her phone in hand. There’s a small cupcake in front of her with candles that say 22 on them. She hasn’t eaten it yet.

Her hands are shaking and black spots are starting to appear in her vision. Whatever is wrong with her, is starting to get worse again. She thought she had gotten better after moving on her own, but it all came rushing back after the initial relief. It was manageable for a long time, but these past few months, she has started to feel like she’s drowning.

She’s afraid she’ll do something bad if she doesn’t get help.

Which is why she has been gathering courage to call her mom and tell her she want to come back home, that she needs to come back home. How she feels like she won’t survive if she’s all alone. She needs her mom.

“I need help, I want to come home.” She mumbles quietly to herself as practice before pressing the contact on her phone and bringing it to her ear. She waits for three rings before Wanda answers. “Hi, mom.” Her voice is quieter than usual.

“Hi, honey. Happy birthday!”

She’s tired.

“Thanks, mom.” She huffs out a laugh.

She’s just tired.

“How’s it going over there?”

“Hm, it-“

“Oh, you can’t believe what the weather has been like over here.”

Y/N freezes. She grips the phone tighter. “What has it been like?”

“Crazy. It was raining so much yesterday, and today there’s some kind of wind monster outside.” Her mother laughs. “What’s the weather been like over there?”

“Sunny.”

“Oh, isn’t that great! I wish we’d get sun more over here, I’m getting fired of…”

And Wanda continues talking. And Y/N continues listening. The phone call lasted for thirty minutes. All they talked about was the weather.

[blessedbucky]

we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 2)

pairing: autistic!satoru x suguru x autistic!reader

word count: 6k!

summary: a glimpse into the time before tokyo

tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, bisexual!reader, bisexual!suguru, ableism, internalized ableism, mentioned child abuse, mentioned bullying, mentioned homophobia

beautiful people who asked to be tagged 💕: @ichikanu, @iceheartsice, @anders-is-being-a-simp-again

author note: i'm not going to stay this every single chapter, but just as a reminder, autism is a spectrum! i was a late in life diagnosis. like, i literally got diagnosed two-ish years ago at 30. so, i don't know what it was like to live a childhood with an actual diagnosis. i know, for most parents, their kid getting a diagnosis isn't the end of the world. i've done a lot of research on how autism is received in japan and it's a lot of mixed reviews. i can only imagine that living in a super tiny town isn't easy for anyone seen as "other" (LGBT, neurodivergent, sorcerers in regards to the JJK world). so, yeah, there's my disclaimer!

translation note: jiheishō is the japanese term for autism

oops done forgot to link part one

oops part duex here's the ao3 link

[SIX.]

“Jiheishō?”

Oh. There’s that word again.

Mother took you on another trip to the special doctor that’s all the way in the city. It takes a long, long time to drive there. Two hours, Mother said, when you asked. You wanted to ask her if she remembered how many times you’ve been to the doctor, but you can only ask one question on special doctor days. Mother has been really sad. You don’t want to make her sadder because you ask lots of stupid questions.

Is Father this sad, too? You wish that you could hug him like you do Mother, but you don’t see him a lot. He doesn’t like to talk to you as much anymore. He must be tired. He’s a farmer and works really hard. You were really happy when he came with you and Mother to the special doctor once.

“Absolutely not!” Father’s voice is loud. You drop your crayon because you got spooked. You’re outside with crayons and the special paper that’s colorful and feels really nice on your fingers. Before you went home, the special doctor let you take all your drawings home. “That’s what that quack came up with?! And you accepted that?! We spent all our money for that?!”

“Dear, please,” Mother says in that way that means she’s crying now. You want to go hide. It’s because of you. “Don’t you think this is the best outcome? We were scared that she had some kind of brain injury! The doctor said that the things that she’s been seeing are imaginary friends, that’s all. She has poor emotional regulation and an overactive imagination, so if we teach her what she can and can’t say—”

“What do you mean better?!” There’s a loud bang that makes you jump. “If she was sick in the head in some other way, we could medicate her! How do we treat this, huh?! What are we supposed to tell people? Do you know the position this puts us in now? This is an embarrassment on both our families! Our daughter will be no better than that Geto boy!”

Father is really, really, really mad. He’s super loud, too. It makes your head hurt more. The hospital had a lot of people, was really bright, and there was so much noise. You don’t know how, but you hurt Mother and Father, and that makes your heart hurt worse than your head. You guess this is because of what the doctor said. He said what was wrong with you, even if you didn’t know what it meant. Before he could tell you what it means, Mother said that she and Father would talk to you about it. She said that it wasn’t the doctor’s place.

You’re dumb. You should’ve known you hurt her when she got in the car after leaving the doctor and cried a long time.

Too scared to be seen by Father right now, you decide to leave. If he sees you, he’ll keep yelling, and you’ll cry. This might make him happier, anyway. He says that he wants you to be more normal. Normal boys and girls go play, right? You don’t have people friends, but you don’t think that matters. You just have to be gone from home until the sun sets. If Father asks where you went, it won’t be a lie to say you were playing with friends.

You walk along the rock road between farms to get to the forest where the river lives. No one waves to you like they do Mother and Father. You know they think you’re weird because your classmates think it, too. It’s not your fault that you have different friends than them. You think they’re jealous that they don’t have as many as you.

Oh!

There are special animals!

Just as they’re about to fly away in the forest, you see a big group of them. These ones look like cute squids!

If you think really hard and call for them like you see classmates do with cats or dogs then the special animals will come see you, but these don’t. “Wait!” They don’t hear you, either. They’re too far away. So, you give chase. You want to touch them and hold them like nothing else. You know it’s mean, but you’ve never seen special animals as cute as these before!

Will these feel like real squid or cooked? You hope it’s real squid. That would be so cool! Maybe you haven’t ever touched a real one, but you have eaten squid, and you hate it. It’s so gross inside your mouth that you throw up whenever Mother makes it. Not even takoyaki can make it better.

You’re on the side of the river when you catch up with the squids. You almost get bonked on the head by something. They’re all dropping stuff on the ground. Fruits and vegetables. They’re dirty and have fur on the end that Father told you were roots. It’s like the squid stole them from the farms. The squids hover in the air, even if they dropped their food. You take the chance to leap up and grab one of them.

You’re squealing at how slimy the squid feels when someone shouts, “Hey!”

All the rest of the squids float over to a boy that’s stomping out of some bushes. You know this boy. He’s the tallest in your class, but also the skinniest. His black hair is at his shoulders and messy. He’s the very first in your class to lose a tooth. He’s making a mean face, so you can see the hole in his teeth. This is Geto Suguru and he’s the only other person in class that people don’t like, though you don’t know why since no one talks to you.

“Let my squid go!” Geto shouts.

Your eyes widen. “You can see them, too?!”

“Yeah. Just like you can, I guess.” Geto walks to stand in front of you and yanks the squid you’re squeezing. “You’re not allowed to eat any of these! This is my food, and these are my squids!”

You’re confused. “Are those regular squids? Do regular squids fly? You only eat regular squids, right?”

Geto squints his eyes at you. “Are you stupid?” He shakes his head. “No. Ocean squids can’t fly. I’m talking about the ghosts.”

“Ghosts?” You tilt your head, trying to figure out what he’s talking about. Suddenly, a black hole opens next to Geto’s head, and a new special animal comes out. This one looks like a really big, ugly fly with teeth and eyes. You have seen these kinds around before. “That’s a ghost? I thought those are special animals.”

Another black hole opens. This special animal has a mushroom-shaped head with a little body and wings. “How does that even look like an animal, dummy? Most of them don’t look like the squids.”

“I know that!” Your cheeks puff out. You’re not dumb. He is! Ugh. Why did you think that he would be different than the rest of your classmates? Everyone calls you stupid! “I call them that because they come when I do. It’s like other kids and their pets. I can do the…the…psst, psst, psst thing.”

Geto finally loses the angry face. Now, he’s confused like you were before. “Huh? You mean…they listen to you?” He points at the bruise on his cheek. “I have to fight them before I can eat them. After I eat them, then they listen to me.”

“You eat them?”

“You don’t?”

“No!”

Maybe you are stupid, but so is he. The two of you stand there and look at each other while you think hard about what you learned. You can both see the invisible things that no one else can. Are there other people like you and him? There has to be! And they all are special because you and Geto are. They come when you call. Geto eats them.

At the same time, you both shout at each other, “Show me!”

“Whoa.” Geto holds his hand out to let you touch the black ball that he turned the ghost animal into.

It took you and him walking up and down the river to find a ghost animal that wasn’t already his pet. He watched with wide eyes and a mouth dropped open as you clapped and called to make the ghost animal come to you. Geto wanted to fight it, but you told him that he didn’t need to do that because it wasn’t going to hurt either of you now. You know that they can be mean when they don’t know the other person, but they don’t fight you.

Then, you were the excited one as you watched Geto show his power. It was bright, but it was so cool that you didn’t even care about that. It’s kind of like the special ghost turned into ashes, just breaking apart before it spun in circles, and it finally formed into a little black ball that Geto now holds.

“That was so pretty!” You’re so excited that you’re waving your arms. “It was so cool, too!” His cheeks are red. He looks away when he pushes the ball in your face. Grinning, you reach for it, but instead of getting to feel the ball, your hand goes through it and lands on his hand. “Oh.” You poke his hand. “Aw, it didn’t work.”

“Eh?” Geto blinks. He pulls his hand away, making sure that his ball didn’t go away completely, and it didn’t. He curls his hand around it over and over. “I guess only I can do it.”

You nod. “That makes sense. Just like only I don’t get hurt by them.”

“But we can both make them do what we say.”

“No,” you stretch the word out. “Um, it’s weird. They don’t see me unless I call for them. And I can make them not hurt me or anyone else and…stay there. But that’s kinda it, really.” You rock back and forth. “I guess I just make them not angry.”

Geto looks at you for a long time without saying anything.

It starts bothering you, getting stared at. You ask, “What is it?”

“Will you help me get bigger ones? You don’t have to do anything but make them be quiet like you did here,” Geto says. “It’s hard for the little ones to get bigger food for me.”

“Why don’t you ask grown-ups to get bigger food for you if the ghost animals can’t?”

Geto kicks some rocks into the water. He doesn’t look at you anymore. “Because I’m not asking for any of that food, dummy.”

“But…that’s stealing, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Geto whispers. “My folks don’t give me food.”

You’re the one that doesn’t say anything for a long time. That makes your heart hurt. Parents are supposed to feed their kids, aren’t they? Sometimes, yours don’t, but that’s because your body is being bad. Mother works hard to make meals and you don’t appreciate that when your body makes you throw up the gross feeling food.

Would Mother and Father let Geto eat instead of you? Geto would probably like Mother’s food more than you. But…no. Father says that he doesn’t like Geto. He thinks that Geto is weird, too. Father might get even madder at you if you tell him that you and Geto are friends.

Kids are supposed to eat. It’s really, really important, your teachers say when you don’t want to eat lunch for the day. That would make it okay if Geto takes some food, right? Farms are big, anyway. Some animals go digging for food. You know that because Father said so. What’s different between a deer and a ghost animal taking food?

“You have to pay me for it,” you finally say.

Geto nods excitedly. “Anything!”

You hold out a hand to him. “I’ll help you if you be my friend.”

[FOURTEEN.]

“You’ve been crying.”

When Suguru cups your cheek and wipes at the tear stains with his thumb, you shrug him away. Not because you don’t want to be touched, but because you don’t want to dwell on what caused said tears. “I brought takoyaki,” you mumble as you slip your backpack off your shoulder. “Had to take a bite, but I know you don’t care about the germs.” Said takoyaki balls are wrapped in a napkin that you pass over to him.

“I almost don’t want to out of spite,” Suguru mutters under his breath.

“Then what? Should I throw it away? They’ll check the trash or check the yard to see if I buried it.” Hugging your knees to your chest, you put your forehead against your knees. “Eat it, please. I just want this whole ordeal to be over, okay?”

“Aren’t you too old for them to be forcing you to sit at the table?” Suguru keeps complaining as he digs into the takoyaki balls with gusto. He tries to be casual about it, but you’ve been best friends for almost ten years. You know when his parents haven’t been letting him eat.

“Aren’t you too old to be asking these stupid questions?” You turn your head to the side to quietly study him. It was nearing midnight when he came knocking on your window. The makeup from the day has rubbed off, so you can see the ugly bruise yellowing on his cheek. “Aren’t you too old to be hanging out with the weird chick? You know it makes their mood worse when they hear I made a scene.”

Suguru chuckles darkly. “They’d find another fuckin’ reason to get pissed off, trust me.”

“How’d we end up with the shittiest parents in this stupid village?”

“Everyone has secrets. They’re cruel to their children, to their spouses, to each other. Just like you and I do, they have their masks, but word gets around. You just don’t pay attention.” He reaches over to flick your exposed nose. “Did you hear about what happened with Endo Iyo’s father? His mistress from a village over showed up on their doorstep, saying she’s pregnant with his child.”

“Eh? No wonder she was such a cunt at school today.”

Suguru laughs quietly. “You’re awful, Squid.”

“Says the person that’s dishing out the gossip.”

“Okay, you got me there.” Suguru stabs the last takoyaki ball with his skewer. Before he takes a bite, he asks, “I’m surprised you’re not saying worse about her. Do you want to talk about what happened today? I heard that you and Endo got into a screaming match in the girls’ locker room.”

“All the mean shit that I had to say about her, I said to her face.” He snickers but stops when you go on to explain, “She was talking about doing mean things to you.” You fiddle with the hem of your sleeve. “I overheard her and all her little friends scheming. She said that when we start high school, she’s going to pretend to confess her love for you. She said that you’re such a desperate loser that you’d accept.”

Suguru doesn’t have much to say about that. He tosses the napkin away. You watch as, one by one, he licks the sticky residue of takoyaki sauce away from his fingers. He’s staring at you thoughtfully while he does. For some reason, it leaves you flustered, so you duck your head back down.

“Is that what upset your parents?” You nod miserably. “That was sweet, Squid, but you didn’t have to go through that for me. I know you hate to yell. But…you didn’t think that I would believe her if she said something like that, did you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? Or…maybe you’d use her like she wanted to use you. We’re at that age, y’know. I hear guys talk about getting a hand up girls’ skirts and stuff.”

Suguru groans loudly. You glance over at him and he’s so disgusted that it makes you huff in amusement. “How low is your opinion of me? I have tastes.”

“How do you even know what your tastes are? Everyone our age is gross.”

“You’re not gross.”

“I wasn’t talking about me and you, obviously.” You unwrap your arms from around your legs, letting them drop. You shuffle around to cross your legs instead. “We start high school next year,” you whisper more to yourself than him. “I guess that I do have to start thinking about that stuff, huh?”

He makes a displeased noise in the back of his throat. “You actually don’t.”

“It’s what normal teenagers do, though, right? Girls think about making love confessions to the guys they have crushes on. They want to date.” You bite on your bottom lip. “That cunt, Endo…she even talked about swindling you into taking her to a big city to book a room at a love hotel. She thinks you have a big dick because you’re so tall. That’s when I snapped.”

“Oh. That was nice of her to say.”

“Suguru! Ugh!” You can’t even believe that he would praise her like that. Suguru is your best friend! This asshole is supposed to be on your side here! “Don’t be thankful for that! One day, you’ll meet a nice girl who will wax poetic about your dick and mean it!”

“Or boy.”

“Or boy—” you blink. Slowly, you turn your head. Suguru is pointedly not looking at you. Because he’s nervous. Your kneejerk reaction is to be hurt that he’s waited this long to tell you, but you understand why. During your first year of middle school, word got around that Kimura Kaito liked boys, and he left for the city without even graduating. “Or boy,” you reaffirm. “I can kind of forgive you for taking Endo’s compliment. It sucks that someone so hot is such a bitch.”

The tension in the air eases. With flushed cheeks and a laugh, he gives you a light shove. “How much did it pain you to lie like that?”

“I wasn’t, though?”

“Oh.”

“I thought you knew,” you admit. “Didn’t I tell you about the day that I was with my mother in the city? It was two years ago, I think? I saw an ad at the subway station with this model and said it’d be nice if she was my wife. My mom slapped me so hard that I knocked my head against a wall and busted it open.”

“No!” At Suguru’s shout, you immediately shush him. Sure, your house is bigger than his, but it’s not that big. He’ll wake your parents if he keeps this up. “I saw that and tried to ask you about it, but you didn’t say shit,” he hisses in a much quieter voice than before.

Oops. “Well, that’s what happened.”

Suguru tilts his head back, looking up at the starry skies. “We’re kind of perfect for each other, Squid. Have you ever thought about that? We see the same things. We were raised the same. We like the same things…”

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” you agree.

Just the thought of a life without Suguru in it makes your chest tight with panic. This is the exact same spiral that you had before you two entered middle school. You were so exhausted that first week of middle school because terror kept you awake all the nights before. You dreaded the change. You thought that, somehow, the rest of the kids in the village would finally figure out how amazing a person Suguru is and take him away from you. Now that you think about it, that might be part of the reason why you exploded on Endo. Maybe she joked about it, but what if someone else didn’t?

“Squid—”

“Suguru—” you stop when you realize that you and he started to talk at the same time. Since it feels like you’ve dominated the whole conversation tonight, you meekly offer, “You first.”

“Do you…” Suguru trails off. Whatever he wants to say, he doesn’t know how to get it out. You patiently wait. It’s like he goes through a lot of emotions, one after the other. Finally, there’s a defeated slump to his shoulders. “It sounds like it was a hard day for you.” He has such a soft smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Do you want to help me catch the ghost animal that I found last week?”

“You went manta ray riding without me?” You can’t help but pout about that.

“Sorry, sorry. I needed some time alone, that’s all.”

Yeah, okay, you understand that. For you, there are days when it’s simply too hard to even talk. So, you don’t dwell on that any longer. You move the conversation forward as if he never said it at all. “We’ll be so exhausted tomorrow,” you warn.

“It’ll be worth it.” Suguru rises to his feet. Holding out a hand to you, he grins wickedly, and declares, “It’s a dragon.”

“You couldn’t have said that earlier?!” You’re so excited that you scramble to your feet yourself. In your excitement, you almost forget that it’s midnight, and everyone else is asleep. Suguru puts a finger to his lips to remind you to be quiet. Eyes bright and vibrating with delight, you whisper-shout, “Let me grab my sketchbook!”

“Reminds me of Hong.”

“Hong?”

“It’s a rainbow dragon from Chinese mythology!”

“You choose to focus on the most random things,” Suguru mumbles. You elbow him in the ribs as a rebuke. He doesn’t even flinch. Since when did this skinny kid get so damn buff? Oh, from his asshole father making his kid do farm work in his place, that’s how. “What makes you think this is…whoever? Hong?”

“You can’t see it?” Hmm, well, you two do only have moonlight and flashlights to guide your way. There’s no electricity left in this old factory. “Here.” You take the flashlight from Suguru and wave it from side to side so that the light catches off the white dragon’s scales and the iridescent sheen that bounces off them. “See? Rainbow!”

Suguru steps forward to glide his fingers over the dragon’s hide. With a hum, he takes the blunt end of the flashlight and knocks it against the scales. The clang echoes in the silence. “It’s so odd that such a tough creature went down so easy.” He looks over his shoulder at you, brows knitted in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I might fall asleep on the way home,” you admit. It’s the dead of winter, but you had to take your puffy coat and the sweater under that off because you were burning with exertion. You won’t complain, though. This has really helped get out all that excess energy that’s bubbled up inside you all day.

“Oi!”

Both you and Suguru freeze at the sound of a human voice. At the entrance to the factory, there are a group of people. There’s one older man that’s dressed in a suit while the other three appear to be high schoolers—on the cusp of graduation, you’d say, based off how old they look. None of them are from around here. Those uniforms definitely don’t belong to your school. Not even from any other schools in your district. You’re not even sure they’re from your prefecture.

And maybe the sight of them wouldn’t be so alarming. Like you and Suguru, they could be some kids looking to goof around at spooky, supposedly haunted places…but one of them has a weapon. Seriously. The boy with spiky brown hair and a toothpick sticking out of his mouth has a katana drawn.

“Get away from that thing!” Katana Boy shouts.

You don’t know if they’re yakuza or some kind of serial killer group or whatever, and you don’t want to find out. Both you and Suguru act. Normal people can’t see ghost animals, but people can still be touched by them. You and Suguru has fucked around with ghost animals enough to know that. So, when Suguru throws an arm out and the rainbow dragon follows, the entire group is tackled by an invisible force.

Heart racing, you throw yourself against Suguru’s side, and the ground falls out from underneath you both after Suguru summons his manta ray. As soon as Suguru gets you both far away enough, he’ll let the rainbow dragon go. After Suguru swallows them, they’ll never leave him again, no matter how far he may go.

And as soon as you’re far away enough, you can freely shout, “What do we do now?!”

“It’s fine,” Suguru tries to assure you. “It’s fine. Take a deep breath.” How can he say that to you when there’s a rapid rise and fall in his chest, too? “Look, there—” he hesitates as he scrambles for a plan. “We won’t ever go back that way, okay? We were in another district, so they would start the search there, anyway. But why would they bother to look for us? What would they tell the authorities? They’d be admitting to crimes of their own!”

“Yes! Right! Okay!” The logic helps calm down the frantic racing of your mind and body. Because he’s right. He is. Those other teenagers would be looked at as crazy as everyone does you and Suguru—wait. Wait. “Katana Guy…he said to get away from that thing. Did he mean Hong? Could that guy see Hong?!”

“No, Squid!” Suguru shakes his head. He knows exactly where you’re going. “We are not going back there! Who cares if they can see what we do? If one of them had a katana, you think the others didn’t have weapons of their own? Whatever they wanted, it’s no good.”

“There are other people like us, though!” It’s starting to process in your mind. This makes your heart soar higher than this manta ray could possibly go. You’re still draped across Suguru’s lap. You pull at his shirt, yanking him away from his thoughts, forcing him to look down at you. “There are other people like us!”

“There…” Suguru’s eyes widen. The epiphany finally reaches him, too. “There are other people like us,” he repeats breathlessly.

“Let’s leave!” The grin on your face is infectious. You are both high off adrenaline and elation. “Suguru, I don’t care if we have to live on the streets…as soon as we graduate, we’re leaving here. We’re getting away from everyone in our shitty village. Let’s run until we find more people like us!”

Suguru holds up his pinky between your bodies. You immediately hook your own around it. “Yes,” he swears. “You and me, Squid. We’ll run and never look back.”

Little did you know, a week later, you and Suguru are given your destination to run toward.

Side by side, you and Suguru walk down the gravel road that leads to your homes. Halfway home, there’s a sleek black car that blocks the road. They’re not from this village because no one has a car as nice as that. You and Suguru plan to go around it, just assuming it’s for one of the farmers. It’s unusual but not rare. Sometimes, corporate lackeys come slinking in to try and buy up farmland.

The back doors of the car open and, with growing dread, you realize that those people are here for you and Suguru. Katana Guy steps out of the car, rubbing the back of his neck, looking like he wants to be anywhere but here. He’s not armed, thankfully. If you scream, will neighbors come running? They may ridicule you and Suguru, but this village protects their own. So, you could make a scene.

“Yeah, that’s them,” Katana Guy loudly announces while he looks over his shoulder at the other person stepping out of the car.

An unfamiliar voice calls out your name, followed by, “Geto Suguru.” There’s a big man that walks around to step up by Katana Guy’s side. This man wears thin, sporty sunglasses. His brown hair is a buzz, shaved close to his head. He’s got a mustache-goatee combo thing going, too. “Don’t be scared. We’re here to talk.”

Behind you, there’s the tale tell sound of Suguru’s rift opening. Nothing gets brought out, though, when you hold out an arm as a motion for him to stop and think. There’s an audience. This isn’t like it was the other night. The neighbors can’t see the ghost animals, but they can see the damage that’s done. They can feel the damage that’s done. Feelings for them aside, it’d bring up too many questions if a bunch of people died. That’s why Katana Guy and his gang aren’t doing anything, either.

“If you have anything to say, talk with our parents,” you state bluntly.

Sunglasses Guy approaches you and Suguru slowly. Suguru takes the arm that you still have held out and tries to tug you behind him protectively. You don’t go. Instead, you just hold his hand tightly, ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. Sunglasses Guy stops when you and Suguru start backing up. On each side of the road, farmers are putting their tools down and walking to meet you.

“My name is Yaga Masamichi,” Sunglasses Guy introduces himself. “I’m a teacher at Tokyo Jujutsu High School.”

Suguru scoffs. “What? Are you here to offer us a spot?”

“Yes, actually,” Yaga answers. “I will speak with your parents, but I can’t give them the whole truth. They’ve never believed you when you told them, have they?” Your hand squeezes tighter as if to say to him, see! See! Just like us! “Behind me is one of our third-years, Kusakabe Atsuya. He says that you two took care of the spirit.”

“Spirit?” Suguru and you repeat at the same time. You think you know what he means, so you ask, “The dragon?”

“Yes.” Yaga nods. “That thing you encountered, the things that you’ve seen your entire life—those are what we called cursed spirits.”

It’s weird. It doesn’t even take that long for Yaga to bust wide open the door to a whole other world. It’s not super detailed, it can’t be because you’re on a time limit with suspicious neighbors, but it’s enough to comfort you and Suguru. You’re told about the foundation of jujutsu—cursed energy that births cursed spirits and the sorcerers that wield it. That’s what you and Suguru are, he tells you. You’re jujutsu sorcerers.

“The school that I teach at…we teach those like you how to hone and strengthen their techniques. We train them to become full-fledged sorcerers that will go on to save lives that cursed spirits threaten,” Yaga explains. “You’ll meet people like you. There are two others that would be coming in with you next year if you decide to enroll.”

“Yes,” Suguru blurts.

“Suguru,” you hiss. To Yaga, you demand, “Come back and be less suspicious about it. We’ll talk more then.”

Yaga accepts this with a nod.

When Yaga and his shady car is gone, Suguru stares at you as if you’ve grown another head. A neighbor calls out your surname, then Suguru’s, but you ignore them by stomping forward down the road. You’re tired of being looked at. Suguru allows himself to be dragged by the hand, but he’s still trying to press you.

Suguru says your name. “This is our way out!”

You’re exhausted. You want to go home, but Suguru’s not going to let this go easy. When you two are far away enough, you stop, and whirl around to face him.

“Did you even listen to what he said? The ghost—these cursed spirits—” all these emotions are starting to overwhelm you. It’s got your hands shaking. “Saving people means these things are dangerous enough to kill us. That’s…that’s scary! What if we fail? How could I live with myself if someone dies because of me?” Your throat is clogging up with emotion. “I want to leave, I do, but I don’t want to fight. I just want to understand!”

Maybe Suguru thinks it’ll make you feel better, but it makes you feel dismissed when he says, “That won’t happen. I’ll always be there to protect you.”

“How does that make things better? Do you not get that the thought of that makes me even more scared?!” You press the heels of your palms against your eyes. Your bottom lip quivers. “What if you get hurt because of me? What if you die because of me, Suguru? What am I supposed to do without you?”

“Squid, if we don’t leave now then we never will. We’ll be stuck here, doing nothing with our lives.”

“Go be a hero without me, then!”

“No,” Suguru answers flatly. “We both go, or we both stay.”

It’s too much pressure. The day weighs down and so does Suguru’s clear manipulation. You explode. “You’re such a piece of shit! This is so selfish! You’re making me decide your future, so I end up being the asshole if I make you stay here when you definitely don’t want to!”

“You don’t want to, either! But you’d rather stay here and let yourself be a punching bag for everyone because you’re scared shitless of change!” When you’re angry at each other, you both get nasty. “Oh, what is poor Squid gonna do if there’s even one little change to her day-to-day? How would she ever survive if something different happened for a change?!”

“Oh, what is poor Suguru gonna do if he doesn’t have someone to take care of out of pity?!”

“Pity?!”

“You heard me!” As you’re storming away, you throw over your shoulder, “Now, leave me the hell alone!”

Normally, crying the way you did when you got home to your room would exhaust you enough to let you sleep the whole night through. Your mind and body don’t want to do that tonight, though. You’re hyperaware of everything—the weight and scratch of clothes against your skin, the constant shudder of your thin window as the harsh winter winds bashes against it, the rattle of the heater in the corner of the room. You have to have a tough debate with yourself over whether to strip all the way down to your panties or to bear the burden of this weight against your skin. It boils down to being kept awake by cold or by fucking clothes because that’s the perk of having a brain like yours.

Can the day get worse? There’s only two minutes to midnight, but you’ve never had luck on your side.

For five minutes, you watch the bright, red numbers of your alarm clock intently. Is this like…what’s that American saying? If you watch the minutes pass by, is it like counting sheep? Will that keep your mind off the guilt that sits heavy in your chest like a stone?

That Yaga guy will be back. What if Suguru sees him before you? What will Suguru say? Will he finally give up on you or will he give up on the chance to break free from his parents and this awful village? You hate both options. It doesn’t matter which one you think about, they both replace that guilt inside your chest with panic.

At this point, you have to decide which option will be the least painful.

And isn’t that a shitty summarization of your life?

What’s worse? Gagging as you try to force down food that you hate the texture of or face your parents’ wrath? Gritting your teeth through days where even an overcast is enough to make your eyes burn or deal with the punishment for skipping school to curl up somewhere dark? Living with a low burn of panic as you let people surround and touch you as you try to pretend to be normal enough for a relationship or become a total outcast with nothing and no one to rely on?

Can you spend decades more in this village with this metaphorical mask that’s been nailed onto your face by your parents because they don’t want you to be seen by the world for who you truly are?

The thing that Suguru doesn’t understand is that if he goes to this high school, the only thing that’s separated him from everyone else will be gone. He will be surrounded by people who can see cursed spirits. He’ll no longer be seen as other. He would shine so bright at this new school.

It can never be like that with you.

Because, at the end of the day, people who are not born like you are all the same. Jujutsu sorcerers will have their own world with their own unspoken rules and their own incomprehensible language that you will only be able to decode when it’s too late and you’ve been stamped as wrong.

You don’t want to be left behind.

But you also don’t want to force Suguru to stay behind with you.

Who doesn’t want to be a hero? Not everyone can be, though. You weren’t built to be a fighter. It terrifies you, the thought of becoming one. You may be even more terrified to face the people than the cursed spirits. How exhausting will this be? You’ll not only be navigating the jujutsu world, but also the unspoken, too. You’ll have to learn new rules, learn to be around new people, and mold yourself a new mask.

You don’t want to let down Suguru.

Ugh.

You may as well go talk to him since he won’t come to you. He always waits on you to make the first move when you tell him that you need to be alone. So, you roll away from your futon, climb to your feet, throw on a few more layers, and climb out of your window into the freezing night.

The Geto house is two down from yours, but in the countryside, that’s a hike. It’s the smallest in the village. Suguru has said he’s lucky that he has his own room, but it’s close to his parents’. You don’t tap on his window like he does yours. Instead, he always leaves the window unlocked so that you can crawl through, as you do now. You don’t need to tiptoe over to shake him awake because, same as you, he never went to sleep.

Suguru meets you outside and brings a blanket with him that he throws over your shoulders and his. The two of you huddle under it, pressed right up against each other, soaking up the warmth from each other. You lean your head against his bicep, break the silence with a sigh and apology. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“Don’t be mean to yourself,” he scolds quietly. “I was being impulsive.” He sighs. “You’re right to be scared. I want away from here so bad that I didn’t stop to think about the danger that I’d be walking us both into.”

“I’ve been thinking about it all and…I’m not sure that it’s dying that I’m really scared of.” You brought a pen with you and click the end. It keeps your hand busy and Suguru doesn’t mind the noise. “I’ve been all over the place, I know. I was excited at the idea of meeting people like us, of getting out of here, and I am! I—” you chew on your bottom lip. “I don’t want you to leave me behind when we get there.”

“Why do you think I would ever leave you behind?” Suguru sounds genuinely hurt which makes you feel guiltier. “Have I been such a bad friend that you think I only pity you?”

“No!” You jerk your head up, looking at him with wide, panicked eyes. “You’re my best friend! The best friend!”

Suguru doesn’t meet your gaze. “You’re my best friend, too, Squid. I don’t pity you. I haven’t stuck by your side because you’re my only option. I’m not going to throw you away at the first sign of attention from people who understand us. You were the first person to ever see me. You were the first person to take care of me. Now, we take care of each other.” He tilts his head down, bumping it against yours. “It’s you and me, Squid. It always has been. It always will be.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You didn’t think you had the energy or tears left in you to cry, but maybe you’ve still got some left. You grab his hand like a clingy girlfriend. Your voice shakes as you ask, “Promise?”

“I promise,” Suguru swears.

The next day, after school, you’re called into a private meeting with a counselor, your parents, and Yaga.

And when Yaga offers a full scholarship to Tokyo Jujutsu High School, you accept.

[whydoyoucare866]

The Night We Met

PAIRINGS:

Titans! Jason todd x reader

SUMMARY:

Bruce has taken in Jason Todd as his youngest son and the new robin some months ago, Bruce's goddaughter also came back to Gotham after being away for a year.

Some months after meeting Jason she starts a friends with benefits relationship with him, suddenly Jason has to move to the Titans tower and two weeks later Bruce sends her too, but, why is Jason ignoring her and acting like he doesn't know her and why does it get worse when Rose Wilson arrives to the tower??

A/N: I finally figured out a song to base this chapter off, I’m sorry I went so off with their conversation and didn’t really get anywhere with it, I just really want them to bond and I don’t think ahead of writing I just start and see where it takes me, I know this can be really boring but I want this to be a LONG fic and a slow burn and that can’t happen if the whole plot happens in two chapters so bare with me please!

TWS: slow burn, angst, blood, canon violence, mentions of death, anxiety, jealousy, friends to friends with benefits to enemies to lovers?, maybe death of a main character (haven't decided yet) change of plot

Keep in mind that English is not my first language, I also know nothing about guns, human anatomy or fighting in the language so I'm sorry if I make a lot of mistakes

Gif credits to Titanstv on Pinterest

Story Masterlist / Main Masterlist

You felt a throbbing pain in your head and started slowly opening your eyes and becoming aware of your surroundings, you were trying to figure out how long you had slept for since according to the sky it was night now and you didn't know if it was the next day now or if you had just slept some hours, now that you think of it, you didn't actually remember falling asleep either, well thats what happens when you cry too much after not sleeping for two days i guess, you decided that you would really love a glass of water right now and started making your way to the kitchen, you hoped no one was awake or at home, after your whole emotional moment with Bruce and Alfred you realized how embarrassing it had been to cry your heart out in front of someone who did not even know you and how much of a big deal you had made things that seriously were not that deep, then you cried more of embarrassment, and then you realized how much of a baby you were being, and realized you were really sleep deprived and really needed some sleep.

You arrived to the kitchen and just as luck would have it, there was no other than Jason Todd, the guy who had to awkwardly witness a girl he didn't know sob her eyes out but while thinking about it you realized that making it a bigger deal than it was would only make it actually embarrassing and would probably ruin any chance of friendship with that guy so you decided that you would let it go and it had never happened.

Jason didn't acknowledge you at all, he was too concentrated on eating what he had cooked for himself earlier and honestly he didn't seem like a very social guy so you just let him be.

You reached for a glass but then decided that maybe you should grab a thermos so you could bring it to your room and not have to make your way over to the kitchen every time you were thirsty, the noise made Jason acknowledge you but he just gave you a nod while he looked at you and you just returned it, you went to fill the water and you could still feel Jason staring at you, the environment was really awkward and Jason looked like he wanted to say something, or maybe he just wanted you to leave, well, this was your chance to talk to him, if he didn't want to talk to you back then you would just let him be, no harm in trying to make friends in your own home.

"Aren't you supposed to be out there with Bruce?" you asked him

He shook his head and pointed to his ribcage "got stabbed, Bruce wouldn't allow me to go back out there"

"Huh, how'd you get stabbed?" you asked not being bothered by it, you were used to these kind of things

"Harley" he said nonchalantly

"Oh" you said and nodded at him

"Mhm"

"I thought she hadn't been active in a while?" I said, Dick had told me before he left Bruce that Harley hadn't made an appearance in almost a year and it looked like she might want redemption.

"Yeah but Joker was put back in Arkham some months ago, we thought they had broken up but turns out it was just an act and she was just plotting something to try and get him out or get revenge or something like that, and well i may be skilled but Harley is Harley" he said taking bites of his food.

"Yeah I get you, even I am scared of going against Harley"

"You are? haven't you beaten her like a lot of times?"

"Yeah but miss girl is not just crazy and skilled but she's also in LOVE like not cutesy love, but maniac love that's a dangerous combination" you said in an exaggerated way to get your point across.

"I wouldn't call that love" he said while shaking his head before taking another bite of his food which you had no idea what it was.

"Then what would you call it?"

"Obsession I guess, she's like obsessed with him, she would throw herself against chemicals that will probably kill her if he asked for it... oh wait she already did"

"Yeah, poor girl would give her life for someone who just manipulates her and uses her”

"I mean yeah, but I wouldn't call her poor she's still a psycho" he shrugged.

"Maybe, but she's in love, even if you wouldn't call it that i think i would, its not a healthy love but she just loves him in a really obsessive unhealthy way, also if you see it in a way, we are psychos as well" i say before taking a sip of my water.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he sipped what must be coffee from a mug and looked at me curiously.

"Well, what kind of people just beats up other people every night?"

"Well yeah, but we only beat criminals and people who deserve it, they actually kill" he said trying to defend his point.

"I mean, yeah they may kill and we don't, but what's worse? dying or being paralyzed and basically tortured for life?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned and tilted his head a bit, he was intrigued in the conversation now.

"Well do you honestly think everyone will just be fine after being thrown around and beaten up until the point where you know if you give one more punch they'll die? I mean even professional fighters get brain paralysis or quadriplegic or like vegetative state from a bad blow and they have like precautions in those fights, now imagine in a fight where there's no precautions and the only stop sign is either them going unconscious or them not being able to move or them being a step away from death keep in mind that the criminals that you beat sometimes aren't trained or don't even know how to fight like regular thieves and shit, im obviously not talking about criminals like Ivy or Harley and stuff and a lot of the vigilantes have actually killed at least one person, maybe not intentionally but yeah" I explained to him.

"Huh, I guess if you think about it like that you're right" he nodded and took one last bite out of his plate

"Of course I am, I"m always right" I smiled at him

"Sure you are" he rolled his eyes in a playful way and stood up to wash his dirty dishes.

"I am!" I say pretending to be offended

"Uh huh, whatever you say" he smiled at me, "well, uhm its pretty late and I guess I should try to get some sleep, so see you tomorrow, I guess" he said before starting to head out of the kitchen.

"Sure, goodnight" I said to him.

"Night" He replied before finally leaving the kitchen.

taglist:

@fairyeoll @singitoutgirl26 @mad-die45 @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @pariahsparadise

[questionablemorally]

Sebagni hcs that nobody asked for but I will provide:

Sebastian probably fell first, though Agni fell harder

At first noticing his… strangely more intense feelings towards Agni, Seb tried to ignore it best he could. This could be seen as weak, something demons are NOT, clearly. Eventually, he comes to terms with it and doesn’t think of it as a weakness as much anymore (in his mind it doesn’t stop him from performing his duties, so it shouldn’t matter)

When Agni realised he’d fallen in love, he basically cried for 3 hours straight out of happiness, and immediately went to tell his prince on how best to confess

Agni is the only human that Seb decently enjoys cooking with, everyone else he’ll push out to have the space to himself (cough cough Bard)

When Agni sees Seb having a particularly rough day, he’ll give him a thoughtful gift or combine the efforts of the servants to give him a break from chores… even if just for an evening

Seb doesn’t fluster easily at all, but Agni’s sweet/soft, out of the blue comments just don’t mix with his demon brain used to hardcore flirting, so he trips over his words or has to look away… small things, but big for him (the servants, especially, have never seen him act like that)

As soon as Soma heard of Agni’s affection towards Sebastian, he was obnoxious about it. Trying to be sneaky by leaving them alone as often as possible, or talking loudly about how amazing Agni is whenever Seb is nearby, or almost confessing to Seb for Agni… needless to say, he’s over the moon about it and is very intense

On the other hand, Ciel hardly noticed until Seb almost missed an order from him while engaged in conversation with Agni, and then he loved to tease him about it. Anything used to embarrass or gain the upper hand on Seb is useful, in his mind, so he uses it to his advantage to practically blackmail the demon occasionally (not that he needs to, he just enjoys it, and Seb goes along with it to please him)

Marriage isn’t something that really appeals to Seb all that much, but Agni sometimes mentions wanting to get married in passing, and Seb would bring him the universe on a plate if he asked, so he wouldn’t mind so long as it made Agni happy… besides the ‘eternal bond’ thing sounds somewhat nice

Sebastian likes his personal space, so it’s a huge sign of trust for him to let someone into his space willingly or see him in a vulnerable way. He appreciates Agni’s respect for boundaries, and so Agni is one of the few people he actually lets be in his personal space and/or see him vulnerably

Classic Sun/Moon dynamic in my opinion

They definitely share recipes from English/Indian cuisine with each other, and Seb sometimes makes Agni some of his comfort foods as a gift

I love the idea that Seb brings little shiny things he finds to the people he loves the most, so when Agni keeps finding coins and other random trinkets in his room…

If you want more please lmk! I try to keep them within character (to a degree, obviously it’s unlikely any of these would happen) and if you have any requests for other ships for me to do, lmk too. (Also I WILL write a sebagni fic… at some point)

[chrisevansleftpeck]

Spencer Reid x bau!reader later seasons in a relationship and how reid would struggle with being protective but also understanding that this is their job

I HOPE I KIND OF GOT THIS RIGHT??? <3

“You’re not in the field tomorrow!” Spencer finally snapped, a sad fire dwindling in his eyes. “You’re staying at Quantico. End of discussion.” Spencer finished, storming off into the bedroom. 

You were nowhere close to done, though. You followed behind him, “Why do you get to decide where I go? Why do you get to put yourself in danger and I don’t? And why do you think you can yell at me the way you just did?” You cried pathetically in front of him. You were trying to be brave but it was hard knowing that Spencer Reid had just tried to control your life. Just like every other guy. 

Spencer whipped his head around. “I need you safe.” He whispered it desperately.

“Well that’s not your job Spencer Reid, I can hold my own.” You whispered back with a sharp tongue. 

“It’s actually literally my job to keep my team and coworkers safe.” He reminded you sourly. This made you fall apart. You were home. He was home after prison, after Cat Adams, after Scratch, and he was still thinking about work.

“Well we’re not at work right now! You’re not at your job right now! You’re home.” Your voice crumbled at the words. Four months ago no one could be sure his return was even a possibility. “And I’m not your coworker here. I’m your girlfriend.” You snatched a pillow off of your side of the bed and walked it over to the couch. 

Spencer decided not to follow you out- chase you- even though that was all you wanted him to do. Instead, he gave you time, stooping in his room in his own self-pity as he waited. Around 11:30 he built himself up to leave the bedroom. Spencer paced the doorway beforehand, thinking of how he wanted this conversation to go

Once he felt that he’d completely left no room for error, he made his way towards your lazy body lounging on the couch, watching an old recording of last Saturday night’s SNL. It didn’t really cheer you up, but it was something to look at. 

“Hi.” Spencer took a seat at the edge of the couch by your feet.

You breathed heavily, “Hi.” You tucked your knees up to your chest so Spencer could sit completely on the couch. 

“Thank you.” He murmured, pitilly watching you sacrifice your space for him. “Please don’t sleep here tonight, Y/N. Not on this couch. Please come to bed.” He begged with deep sadness in his eyes. He was hurting just as much as you.

You nodded slowly. “That all?” You asked.

“No. No, of course not. I um, I’m really sorry. I just look at you and I need to protect you. And I understand that today that got out of hand and sort of…manipulative or toxic on my part.” He hung his head low, embarrassed. You knew you had to do your part now to fix it.

You crawled towards him, wrapping your arms and blanket around him. “I know. I understand, better than anybody else. I love you a lot. I know it was scary hearing that I was in the hospital with a bullet wound while you were in prison. I know it was scary.” Spencer began to tear up now. “But it was scary for me to know you stabbed yourself into solitary confinement. I want to protect you more than ever now and I know you feel the same. Let’s pinky promise we’ll be careful. For each other.” Spencer’s rosy cheeks were streaming with tears.

You gently swiped them away with your thumbs. “I promise. I’ll be safe. No more secrets, no more Mexico, no more prisons, no more gunshots. I promise.” He said his last promise like it was the most important thing in the world. He needed you to know he meant it, with all of him, body and soul.

“Okay.” You kissed your hand and he kissed his, sealing the deal. “I feel good about this compromise, baby.” You whispered into him. 

“Me too, me too.” He nuzzled his head into your neck, falling asleep on the couch inside your comforting arms.

[homerforsure]

It's a day of the week!

I think it's Sunday but I haven't been to bed yet so who knows? I've been playing with some flashback memory things for LWH but idk yet if any of it is going to make it to the final draft so I thought I'd just share this whole one here.

Tears were such a rare thing for Buck that when they sprang to his eyes, he was actually startled. Embarrassed, he quickly swiped at them before rubbing his wet palms against his jeans and clinging to the seam of the fabric. “Sorry,” he said, laughing as he blinked furiously, tilting his head back so the movement wouldn’t dislodge any more droplets. “I swear I’m fine. I don’t- Please don’t put that in the report for my boss.” Her lips pouting in a tiny expression of sympathy, Dr. Wells stood and crossed the room to where Buck sat on the couch. He leaned back instinctively to give her room as she perched on the edge of the table and then felt himself freeze as she pushed into his space and rested her hand above his knee. Something skittered underneath his skin and quickened his heartbeat, prompting him to smile wider, baring his teeth in a submissive grin. It’s fine; everything is fine; I’m no cause for concern. Dr. Wells squeezed gently. “Buck,” she said, her voice low and smooth. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Tears are a perfectly normal response to stress. It’s one of the ways your body lets go of everything you’re hanging onto. One of the ways it takes care of you.” Her perfume was light and clean, somewhere between apples and rain. It invaded Buck’s senses as he cleared his nose. God, he hadn’t really even cried and he still needed to clear his nose. Dr. Wells was still looking at him, waiting for an acknowledgement that Buck knew he should give and he tried to meet her eyes and search the room for a tissue box at the same time.  “You wouldn’t believe how much of my job is just convincing people to listen to what their bodies are already trying to tell them.” “I don’t think mine has very good advice,” Buck answered, pushing out another laugh that threatened to get stuck in his throat.  When he told Bobby that he thought he was a sex addict, Buck had been searching for words to explain what was wrong with him and even though those hadn’t felt right, they were the closest that he could find. There hadn’t been any others he knew that could describe the craving and the urgency and the inevitability that it would happen again no matter how many times he promised it wouldn’t.  But the pressure of the therapist’s nails on his thigh made him think of how they would feel on his back and they made Buck wonder if he really was broken. He had come to this person to talk about how someone else had died and instead he was thinking about her crawling into her lap and thinking about how her voice would sound when it was husky and telling him what to do. That wasn’t normal. It wasn’t normal to look into her kind eyes and see the same wolfish expression that he saw on women out at the bars. Maybe he really was sick. Maybe he’d always been.  Oblivious to the panic that was making him pant, Dr. Wells asked, “Who told you that? Someone who doesn’t understand what you need? What’s right for you? “It’s just you and me here, Buck. Tell me. What does your body need?”

@mellaithwen @princessfbi @rewritetheending @freewayshark @doeeyeseddie

@gayhoediaz @sibylsleaves @try-set-me-on-fire @littlespoonevan @thekristen999

@bigfootsmom @devirnis

i've been so absent lately that idk who is working on what so if you're working on anything please let me know.

[lolathestoryteller]

kisses and quarrels (April 5th prompt; Laugh) @jilymicrofics

I’m back with another everybody lives au drabble (which kinda ended up being a bit longer than intended); Jily, little Harry & uncle Padfoot! read below :)

„We‘re heading out!“ Lily calls out from the entrance hall.

There’s cluttering coming from the kitchen, before James and Sirius step out into the hallway, both their faces smudged with flour.

“Have fun— wow, Harry! Mate you…look like a puffskein.” Sirius cackles, before looking at Lily. “How many layers‘s he wearing?”

“It’s cold out, alright? I’d like for my son not to turn into an ice cube.”

“Yeah,” Sirius chuckles. “He definitely won’t freeze…might float away though, won’t you? Just like a ballon!”

Harry, who’s been busy walking up to his Dad, giggles happily at his godfather’s funny face.

“Hilarious.” Lily says dryly.

Sirius‘ smile turns into a smirk at once, making her instantly regret her choice of words. “It’s Sirius, actually.” he states smugly, before he and James dissolve into laughter.

Lily tries her very best not to smile as she strides over to collect Harry from James’s arms. “Sometimes I really think I should question my choices,” she says teasingly, glancing up at James. “Marrying such a jester.”

“Oi!” James complains, before leaning closer to her face. “You love this jester.” he smiles, and Lily, despite her efforts, blushes. “Yeah…” she replies softly. “I’m afraid I do.”

She leans closer, until her lips brush his, closing her eyes as they share a gentle kiss.

Sirius’ groan makes them part after only a moment though, and both of them chuckle as they notice his overly dramatic frown.

“Ugh,” he whines. “Please, my eyes!“

“Sod off, Padfoot.” James laughs, bumping his friends’ shoulder, before kissing Lily again — loudly this time, and with way too much of a grin on his face.

Lily rolls her eyes, but all too gladly allows for Sirius to dramatically gag as she kisses him back — that is until they’re, once again, interrupted, this time by a small pair of hands, pushing their faces apart.

“No.“ Harry protests, with an expression that so perfectly and very unfortunately mimics that of his godfather. “Gwoss.”

Sirius barks a laugh, one that only increases as he spots James‘ dumbfounded expression.

“Did our two year old just say we’re gross?”

“Sorry mate, you’re officially embarrassing your kid. The pleasures of parenthood, right?” Sirius jokes, slapping James on the back.

Lily sighs, hiding her amusement behind a raised eyebrow. “He’s not embarrassed,” she says as she adjusts a squirmy Harry on her hip. “Right Harry? You aren’t embarrassed of us?” she asks sweetly, nuzzling his cheek. “Maybe a little of Dada…”

“Lily!” James cries dramatically. “You’re supposed to be on my side here!”

“Of course I am, dear,“ she replies with a nonchalant shrug. “It’s just fun to tease you.”

“Yeah, yeah…” James rolls his eyes, though with a warm smile on his lips. “Go on now, we’ll have dinner ready when you come back, I hope.”

Lily is doubtful they would, at least not without magical help and some healing charms. “Just promise me you won’t blow up our kitchen again.” she replies pointedly.

“I will make no such promises.” Sirius replies cheekily.

“We’ll manage,” James says genuinely. “Promise.“

Lily smiles, before turning her attention back to the toddler currently wiggling about in her arms. “Yes, yes, I know,” she says as she bends down to let Harry walk by himself. “You wanna go now, don’t you?”

She waves at the boys once more before taking Harry’s little hand into hers. „Harry, say bye bye to Daddy and Sirius.“

Harry nods excitedly, raising a little hand to wave at the men. „Bye bye!“

„Have fun with Mummy, Snitch!“ James waves back.

„And don’t float away!“ comes Sirius‘ reply, earning another giggle from the toddler.

Lily can only roll her eyes as she guides Harry outside. „Your uncle Padfoot is a bit silly sometimes, hm?“

„Funny!“ Harry replies happily, as if trying to correct her.

Oh dear, Lily thinks, glancing at her son with a soft smile on her lips, he’s the son of a Marauder alright.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 03 - Freundschaft]

• Freundschaft (German; noun: friendship)

Focus on Pairing: platonic!Yoongi x Taehyung

Warnings: so many fluffy sweet moments, they finally fucking talk it out, they're actually best friends i'm sorry i don't make the rules, no but seriously they both needed this moment, this is also very emotional actually, i'm sobbing i love them SO MUCH

Wordcount: 9.5k

a/n: *cries* i love them so much holy fuck

Yoongi and your grandparents stay downstairs for another hour before sleepiness starts to take a hold of them as well.

“Oh, I’m tired”, your grandmother says in a yawn.

“Me too”, your grandfather agrees, having to yawn as well.

Yoongi yawns with them, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t even realise how tired they were from using them all day. He never really gets tired eyes in the real world.

“Will you still stay up?”

“I think I wanna finish the chapter, yeah.”

“Alright”, your grandparents stands up.

“Well then, sleep tight my boy.”

“Oh, uhm, sleep tight too, H-Harald”, Yoongi stutters, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“Sweet dreams, dear.”

“You too, Agatha.”

They leave holding hands while Yoongi is left gawking at the empty room with a racing heart. They like him. Something inside him finally clicked which made him realise that he is actually liked by them.

Yoongi lowers his head, scrunching his face in giddiness. They like him. He continues reading with his mind going back to the interaction over and over again. It never loses its spark and maybe he plans on telling you about it tomorrow.

“Hyung?”

Yoongi lifts his eyes from the book. He already finished another chapter before being called. Taehyung is in front of him, wearing a jacket. He seems to come from outside as he smells like the night.

“Do you have some time?” he asks shyly.

“For what?”

“To spend it with me.”

Yoongi checks the clock.

“It’s half past eleven.”

“I know, but I wondered if perhaps we could go for a walk in the garden.”

“Did you ask the others?”

“Huh? Aren’t they sleeping already?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Fine”, Yoongi gives up and stands up with a sigh, “you’re not gonna leave me alone either way.”

“Thank you so much. Oh, how happy I am”, Taehyung says and hurries to the coat stand to pick up Yoongi’s jacket, “let me help you.”

“I can put on my own jacket”, Yoongi says and snatches it away, “I’m not gonna act like a lovedrunk idiot with you, just so you know.”

“So you won’t even hold my hand?”

“Don’t make this weird or I’ll leave.”

“Oh, I was merely joking with you”, Taehyung says, nudging his arm, “I am very well aware that you cannot seem to like me, which is very hurtful if I may mention it.”

“It’s nothing personal”, Yoongi says and puts on his shoes. He finishes his look with a headband which he pulls over his ears then goes to open the door, “let’s go. I wanna be done with it.”

Taehyung follows him outside, joining his side. Yoongi inhales deeply and exhales, sticking his hands into the pocket of his jacket to make sure Taehyung can’t hold them.

“Now we’re outside. It’s cold and dark. Is that what you wanted?”

“Please can you at least attempt to meet me with less hatred?” Taehyung asks.

Yoongi studies his features, “yeah, I’ll try. Where should we walk? It’s dark”, he mumbles with slight embarrassment in his voice.

“Follow me, I know the way”, Taehyung says and takes off.

Yoongi follows behind him. Fireflies guide their way. Taehyung seems to lead him to the animal shed. There is the faint red shine of the warming lamp in the distance.

“It’s peculiar isn’t it? To think that we lived centuries being able to see in the dark and now we are helpless.”

“Yeah, it’s weird.”

“We became so used to the conveniences.”

“Yeah.”

Lights flicker on just as they pass the lavender beds. Your grandfather installed motion sensor controlled garden lights along the path. They guide their steps, making it a lot easier to see.

“That’s better”, Taehyung says to which Yoongi agrees with a hum.

The two men walk a few steps and then Taehyung talks again.

“How have you accustomed to being human again?”

“It’s alright.”

“Truly?” Taehyung stops to turn and look at Yoongi, “you spent thousands of years wishing to be human and now that you are, you think it is merely alright?”

Yoongi touches the side of his neck, “it’s good”, he confesses, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t feel comfortable with you.”

“You’re so cold to me”, Taehyung says and touches his heart, “it breaks my heart. Oh, why am I still trying to make you like me?”

Yoongi knows that he is joking. He lets a small scoff escape, reaching out to push at Taehyung’s chest gently.

“Walk, you brat”, he says and joins his side.

Taehyung glances at him, feeling happy. Yoongi is like a stray cat. One must be patient and give him space to make him comfortable. Only then will one be rewarded with warm moments.

The two men reach the animal shed.

“Here”, Taehyung says and tugs Yoongi to the right.

“Where are we going? The path’s that way.”

“I know, but I want to go this way.”

The automatic light flicker on. They pass them and disappear in the darkness again. New lights flicker on, showing them the way. At the end of the path a burning fire waits for them. There is a blanket and some pillows next to it.

“Are we going to the bonfire?”

“Yes indeed”, Taehyung says.

“Did you prepare a picnic?”

“Yes.”

Yoongi glances at Taehyung.

“I told you that I don’t wanna be romanced by you.”

“I am not trying to romance you, hyung. I am trying to bromance you.”

Yoongi scoffs at the silly wordplay, following Taehyung down the path despite his complaints.

“Fine. Any sign of you trying to make a move on me though and I’m gone.”

“I won’t make a move on you”, Taehyung promises and stops by the fire. He points at the blanket, “get comfortable.”

Yoongi follows even when he pretends to sulk. Taehyung takes off his shoes and gets on the blanket as well. Yoongi, who watched him, also takes off his shoes, stretching his feet to the fire afterwards. The warmth is intense, but he likes it. The night is really chilly here. Despite how warm the days are.

“What are you doing?”

“Preparing you a drink”, Taehyung answers him, “I also made a few snacks if you get hungry.”

“That’s what you were making behind me? Where I couldn’t look?”

“Indeed.”

“And you didn’t set the whole kitchen on fire?”

“As a matter of fact, I didn’t. You should trust me more, hyung. I am a very skilled cook.”

“Yeah sure”, Yoongi laughs.

“You offend me, hyung. I put a lot of effort into tonight”, Taehyung says as he pours red wine into a glass. He hands it to Yoongi, who accepts it. Once Taehyung filled his own glass, the two men clink glasses, avoiding eye contact. At least Yoongi does, Taehyung is very much staring at his face.

“To a lovely night.”

“Yeah.”

They drink the wine.

“And?”

“It’s good. It’d be better to let it breathe for a bit.”

“I agree, but it’s still very delicious. The richness of the grapes truly coats the entire tongue.”

“Mhm yeah.”

“Eat some cheese to it, hyung. I cut it myself”, Taehyung offers, pointing at a prettily done cheese board. He decorated it with flowers from the garden and cut some baguette to go with it.

“Thanks”, Yoongi says and picks up some brie.

“Here. Pair it with baguette and fig. It tastes wonderful this way.”

Yoongi allows Taehyung to prepare the perfect bite, but flinches back when he attempts to feed it to him.

“I’ll do it myself, don’t make it weird”, he mumbles.

“Very well”, Taehyung says, “you are such an anti-romantic.”

“I can be romantic.”

“Of course. How does it taste?”

“Good.”

“Oh how wonderful”, Taehyung giggles happily, “eat as much as you want, hyung. I made it just for this occasion.”

“Mhm.”

The two men share silence for a while. Yoongi doesn’t think the silence in itself is uncomfortable, but the fact that he has to share it with Taehyung. While Taehyung thinks the silence in itself to be uncomfortable as his mind scrambles to come up with topics to talk about. He doesn’t want Yoongi to feel as if coming with him was a waste of time.

“What do you think of the wine, hyung?”

“You asked me that already.”

“Indeed? Oh silly me. I apologise”, Taehyung says and fumbles with his hair. He downs his wine and prepares another glass.

Yoongi watches him from the corners of his eyes. The nervousness is practically wafting off of Taehyung.

“It goes well with the cheese”, Yoongi says.

“Indeed?”

“Yeah. It fits well”, Yoongi praises and finishes his own glass, “can I have another?”

“Yes of course. Drink as much as you want to and eat! Yes, eat just as much!”

“I will, Tae. Thanks.”

There is silence again, but it doesn’t feel that uncomfortable anymore. They drink wine, eat delicious cheese and share the warmth of the fire. Taehyung knows that Yoongi isn’t the person who always needs to talk a lot, so the silence doesn’t feel that heavy anymore. Yoongi seems content, he seems to enjoy the food and wine and he seems to enjoy the fire. Taehyung still wants to talk with him. He hasn’t had a proper conversation with him in ages.

“Did you work on new music lately?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. What genre?”

“Acoustic. Yeah”, Yoongi touches the side of his neck shyly, “I like it lately.”

“Indeed? I believe it fits you, hyung.”

“Why?”

“Because acoustic reminds me of feeling at home. You seem to be at home these days.” 

Yoongi looks away and lowers his head.

“I guess”, he whispers, hiding his hands in his sweater paws before stuffing them between his thighs shyly. 

“Do you have some of your music here? I would love to listen to it.”

Yoongi hesitates at first. 

“Please?”

“Okay”, he gives in and takes out his phone, “I uhm, saved them on my phone. They’re not finished yet, but I think that they’re already really good”, he says and presses play on a song. 

The two men listen to it intently, sipping on wine and snacking on cheese. Yoongi is shy. Even a blind person could see so. He is shy, but not uncomfortable. In his own kind of way he seems even proud of himself. Yes, he really seems content with his own work. 

The song finishes with Yoongi strumming on the guitar. Silence follows. 

“Yeah, that’s it”, he murmurs, flinching in surprise when Taehyung starts clapping. 

“Wow hyung, this was wonderful!” Taehyung exclaims, “I didn’t know that you could sing and oh so well at that.”

“Thanks. I think I sing well”, he agrees.

“You truly do. Your voice is very soothing and fits the genre very well. Do you have any idea on what you will call the song?”

“No, not yet. Maybe something nice.”

“Something nice would fit the melodies very well.”

Yoongi glances at Taehyung. He tilts his head to the side slightly. Taehyung meets his eyes.

“Do you really think it’s good?”

“Of course I do. I enjoyed it. Honestly.”

“Okay. Thanks”, Yoongi says and looks into his phone.

Taehyung glances at the screen. Yoongi is scrolling up and down on the same spot, almost as if he is waiting for Taehyung to ask him about it.

“Do you have more songs to show?”

“Yeah, I guess”, Yoongi says and presses play on the song. It starts off with the piano, but soon guitar and Yoongi’s gentle rapping joins the melody.

The two men listen to it as they drink and snack and share the warmth of the fire. 

They each finish their drink in the middle of the song and so Taehyung makes it his task to refill their glasses. Yoongi thanks him with a silent nod. The song ends abruptly. 

“I didn’t get to the end yet”, Yoongi says, “sorry, that was shit.” 

“No, it wasn’t. It was wonderful.”

“Really?”

“Yes, truly. I love your music, hyung.”

“Oh”, Yoongi lets out and blushes vividly. Thankfully for him, the wine and the heat of the fire already turned his face red, so a new layer of blush goes unnoticed by Taehyung.

“I was actually wondering whether you could write melodies for me. Unless you have more songs to show”, Taehyung says.

“No, all the others are still rough drafts”, Yoongi says and glances at Taehyung “what do you mean with melodies?”

“Well, you see”, Taehyung begins and takes out his leatherbound notebook from the inside of his jacket, “I have this poem, which has such potential for a song, but I am terrible at composing”, he explains and lies down on his tummy. His feet still face the fire, he is propped up on his elbows.

Yoongi stays in the same position, craning his neck to look. 

“Would you want to take a look?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Yoongi tries to see in the current position at first, but has to give up in the end. He lies down on his tummy as well, mirroring Taehyung’s position.

“It’s dark.”

Taehyung shines his phone flashlight on the pages.

“Does this help?”

“Yeah.”

The two men share silence. Yoongi reads and snacks while Taehyung stares at his face and feels nervous. It’s been centuries since he last showed his friend his poetry. And it has been even longer since he asked him to write melodies for him, maybe he never even did. Centuries make memories blur, so Taehyung can’t remember clearly. He feels nervous beyond recovery. 

Yoongi ends the poem with a quiet hum.

“And? What are your thoughts on it?” 

“It’s romantic.”

“Yes indeed. I thought about my favourite things to do with my loves and slow dancing came to my mind. So I wrote a poem about it.”

“It’s good”, Yoongi says and glances at him, “I have ideas for a song.”

“Truly? Oh hyung, this is wonderful news! I feel beyond delighted.”

“Do you want to make it jazz?”

“Yes! Yes, I would love to make it jazz!”

“Or maybe retro RnB with some jazz elements.” 

“Oh hyung, you are truly a visionary. I love every idea you have. We could make it so that the instruments get a solo part to really make them shine.”

“Yeah, I like that.”

“We have to start working on it once we are back home.”

“Yeah.”

“We will finally be able to have our music nights again”, Taehyung says and caresses Yoongi’s upper arm gently.

“Yeah.”

Yoongi fumbles with the edge of the page. He doesn’t dare to flip it because it would invade Taehyung’s privacy. 

“Do you want to see something else?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Taehyung flips through his notebook until he lands on the drawings he did for your bedroom. 

“It’s not finished yet, but this is my vision for ___’s bedroom. I am thinking flowers and branches reaching from the ceilings. What do you think?”

“Yeah, it’s good”, Yoongi says, tracing the floral sketches with gentle fingertips. 

“If you have any ideas which I could incorporate, please let me know.”

“I don’t know. I’m not good at painting. Or art.”

“Oh, that is a lie. You are talented.”

“Not like you. I can’t paint like you”, Yoongi says and shakes his head. 

“Yes, but you have your own style. Wonderful and beautiful because it’s yours.”

Yoongi glances at Taehyung. The latter smiles at him, flustering Yoongi to the point where he has to hide away. He lies down on the blanket, resting his head on his own arm. Like this, he is looking up at Taehyung.

“I can’t paint, stop fucking around”, he hisses, but Taehyung merely chuckles and reaches down to caress Yoongi’s cheek with the back of his hand.

“Very well, you stubborn bastard”, he says and flips his hand so his fingertips were dancing along Yoongi’s temple. He ends the touch with a slow trace of Yoongi’s brow, retreating it afterwards to instead flip through his notebook.

Yoongi allowed it to happen with silence surrounding him and his eyes never once leaving his face. He keeps staring at him even after the touch stopped.

“I have another poem. Do you want to hear it?”

“Mhm.”

“It’s in our mother tongue. Ever since I am with Jungkook, I find myself thinking in this language more often. In a sense, this poem is dedicated to him.”

“Read it to me.”

And so it happens that Taehyung reads his poetry to Yoongi, while Yoongi looks at him and enjoys the warmth on his toes. He listens to Taehyung’s words intently and wonders if the young vampire has always been so dreamy with his words. And then he wonders if he has always been so gentle and why he felt the need to touch his face in such ways.

Taehyung ends the poem with a shivering voice. 

“Oh dear”, he lets out and wipes at his eyes, glancing at Yoongi, “I am tearing up.”

“It’s okay”, Yoongi speaks softly.

“I always tell myself that I won’t become too emotional, but I truly can’t help myself. I am in love with him. Just thinking about him makes me want to cry. Oh dear, this isn’t like me at all”, he says and laughs softly, drying his eyes as best as possible.

“It’s okay”, Yoongi assures him and reaches up to wipe the tears from Taehyung’s cheek.

The latter falters for breath, gawking at him with widened eyes. The touch surprised him so greatly that he forgets to cry. 

Yoongi ends the touch with a gentle nudge to Taehyung’s chin, afterwards he retreats his hand and hides it under his head.

Taehyung doesn’t dare to speak. He is left staring at Yoongi and feeling short of breath. His heart is threatening to give up in his chest, his thoughts are messy but one thought is clearer than all else. Is this truly his friend? Such tenderness, Taehyung never experienced from him before.

“The poem is nice. I could write melodies for it”, Yoongi breaks the silence.

“You”, Taehyung has to clear his throat, “hyung, this would make me incredibly happy. Oh, hyung thank you.”

“Mhm, yeah. You could perform it for Kook once it’s finished. He will love it a lot.” 

“I truly hope that he will. Oh, I want to make this man so happy. Sometimes I fear that I am too much, that I will scare him away one day because I overwhelmed him with too much love.”

“There’s no such thing as too much love, Tae, there’s just a thing as the wrong receiver.”

“The wrong receiver?”

“Don’t lessen your love, Tae. A cactus dies in too much water, while a water lily thrives. There is no such thing as too much, there are just wrong receivers. Jungkook’s the right one, trust me.”

“Hyung, thank you I…” Taehyung exhales shakily, “oh, I have so much love to give to him. If I could, I would steal the stars just to give them to him. You have no idea, hyung.”

“No, I do”, Yoongi whispers and smiles softly, “he’ll cry so much when he hears the song.”

Taehyung chuckles and drops down, nuzzling his face into his own arm as he beams at Yoongi.

“He will. Oh, he is such a gentle soul.” 

“Yeah”, Yoongi agrees with a chuckle, “I hope he never changes.”

“Yes, yes I agree. He’s perfect the way he is”, Taehyung says with love drunk eyes, “I plan to take him on a summer holiday soon. Perhaps Greece. It is so terribly romantic there.”

Yoongi studies Taehyung’s features intently enough that Taehyung feels shy.

“What is it, hyung?” he whispers.

“I haven’t seen you so in love before.”

“That’s not true. I love ___ just as deeply.”

“You weren’t like this with her. You were a cunt and a show-off.” 

Taehyung chuckles, “I guess you are right. Oh, I regret a lot in my life. I try to make it right, but sometimes I am scared that I won’t ever be able to fix it.”

“Don’t try so hard.”

“But if I won’t, then it won’t ever be enough.”

“You’re already enough, Tae.”

Taehyung flusters, looking away.

He touches his own hair, scrambling for words.

“Hyung I…” he begins, “hyung, I feel wrong at times.”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel as if I am trying to force myself into a situation I have no right to be in”, he says and looks into Yoongi’s eyes, “when Jimin was dead, I did so much wrong and, and afterwards as well. And although I shouldn’t feel this way, I feel as if I was never meant to be part of this family again. Sometimes I am scared that all of you merely pretend to be alright with me being here.”

Yoongi furrows his brows.

“I know. How silly of me to think this way. How utterly and stupidly self-obsessed. The world doesn’t revolve around me and yet here I am, feeling sorry for myself.”

“It’s not self-obsessed, Tae. You have worries and still feel guilty for your past. I understand those feelings all too well, but you shouldn’t feel this way. You acted like shit in the past, yeah, but you’re not that person anymore.”

“Do you truly think this way?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t think that you would.”

“Why?”

“Because you are always so mean to me.”

Yoongi falters. Taehyung shies away, lowering his eyes.

“It hurts me so much when you’re always so terrible to me, hyung”, Taehyung confesses in a whisper.

Yoongi stays silent.

“I apologise”, Taehyung whispers, “it, it’s alright. I understand why you are this way. I shouldn’t ask you to change for me.”

“No, you should”, Yoongi interrupts him.

Taehyung lifts his eyes, holding his breath.

“I think I’ve been unfair to you”, Yoongi confesses.

“What?” Taehyung gasps.

“It’s hard for me to accept that you’re not the reckless, snobby brat from the past anymore. That’s all I’ve known you as for centuries, but I have to give you a chance to prove yourself as someone different. You’re allowed to better yourself. I’m sorry for acting like a cunt, Tae.”

“Do you mean that?” Taehyung presses out.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Hyung”, Taehyung tears up, “oh hyung”, he whimpers and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Hey, don’t cry kiddo”, Yoongi whispers, cupping Taehyung’s cheek to wipe the tears from his lashes.

“Oh hyung, I’m so happy”, Taehyung presses out and flings himself around Yoongi’s neck. He traps him in a tight hug, his arms are slung around him and his legs closed tightly around Yoongi’s waist.

“Yah! Stop that”, Yoongi complains, finding himself smothered in Taehyung’s chest as the latter rolls around the blanket with him. Yoongi ends up chuckling, “you’re so stupid, Tae. Let me go.”

“Oh hyung, we will be such good friends”, Taehyung giggles and nuzzles into Yoongi’s face just to kiss his cheek.

“Tae stop”, Yoongi laughs, pushing his face away gently, “you’re weirding me out.”

Taehyung pulls back, releasing Yoongi from his tight hug. The latter wiggles away instantly, nudging Taehyung’s cheek.

“You’re a brat. I regret everything I said”, he says, making Taehyung laugh. Yoongi smiles, giving Taehyung’s chin one last gentle nudge. Then he rolls to his back and sits up, taking his glass of wine to drink it as his eyes stare into the orange flames.

Taehyung sits up as well, studying Yoongi’s features.

“I feel happy, hyung.”

Yoongi nods his head, “me too.”

“I mean it.”

“What do you mean?”

“We will be such good friends.”

“I see”, Yoongi says and nods his head, “yeah”, he glances at Taehyung, “I don’t want you trying to romance me. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“I won’t try. All I wanted for years was to be your friend, hyung. This is everything I wanted.”

“Mhm, good.”

“I will however cuddle with you and give you kisses.”

Yoongi scrunches his nose up and clicks his tongue, “if you have to”, he murmurs.

“I do”, Taehyung says and scoots closer to hug Yoongi’s waist and rest his chin on his shoulder, “you will be so fed up with me by the end of it.”

“It’s gonna happen sooner than later. I hate PDA.”

“No, you don’t. You give ___ PDA all the time.”

“Yeah, I guess. She’s my love, yeah.”

“That’s good, hyung. The two of you are meant for each other”, Taehyung says and sits up. He wiggles his toes and drinks his wine. Then he lets out a loud sigh, tilting his head up to stare into the sky. Millions of stars look down at them, “this world is truly fascinating.”

Yoongi inhales and lifts his head. He exhales, “yeah, Namjoon did nice stuff as well.”

“It feels impossible for me to imagine. He traumatised me incredibly.”

“I know Tae. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Mhm”, Yoongi lets out and lies down. He starts counting the stars but soon gives up, “do you think that every witch that ever lived is here?”

“Mhm, yes I think so.”

“Mhm.”

Taehyung snacks on some grapes and enjoys a sip of his wine. He really likes the taste of it. It’s already warmed up from the fire, but he doesn’t mind. It still tastes sweet, tasting even sweeter because he is finally Yoongi’s friend. Taehyung loves being Yoongi’s friend.

“Do you think that witches return to be witches once they’re dead?”

“I don’t seem to understand this question, hyung.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Taehyung turns, studying Yoongi’s features. The latter, who looked at the sky at first, shifts his attention to Taehyung. He seems flustered.

“Talk to me, hyung. There is something weighing on your heart, isn’t there?”

“No, there’s not.”

“You don’t have to lie to me”, Taehyung says and lies down on his tummy. The two men can see eye to eye this way, “you can trust me, hyung.”

Yoongi takes a deep breath and sighs.

“I was just wondering. What if a witch became a vampire against their will, would their soul return to being a witch once they’re dead? Would they be able to enter this world or will their soul be too cursed by vampirism to enter?”

“I have to think about this for a moment”, Taehyung confesses.

“It’s okay. It’s fucking stupid either way”, Yoongi murmurs.

“No, it’s not. I will think about it”, Taehyung assures him and rolls to his back.

They share silence. The fire crackles by their feet, the crickets sing their nightly song and the forest is alive in various kinds of rustling and animal calls. They’re both a little chilly. It’s been centuries since they last felt truly cold. They’re also very tipsy from the wine. It’s been just as long since they felt so truly drunk. It’s a vulnerable state they find themselves in. Human and so utterly prone to outside influences that it would be a scary state to be in if they weren’t so safe in each other’s presence.

“I thought of my answer”, Taehyung breaks the silence.

“Tell me”, Yoongi whispers and so Taehyung speaks quietly as well.

“I think that a witch will return to being a witch once they die. You said that they were cursed against their will and I believe that death will lift the curse from their soul.”

“So you think that they can find peace here?”

“Yes I believe so”, Taehyung says with confidence in his voice.

“Good”, Yoongi says and exhales shakily, “yeah, that’s good.”

Taehyung turns his head to Yoongi.

“Why do you ask such a question, hyung?” he asks and widens his eyes, “no hyung!”

“Huh?”

Taehyung sits up, “no! Just no! Why would you think like this? Why?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

Taehyung shakes his head vigorously and grabs Yoongi by his shoulders.

“Why do you still think about dying? Why would you kill yourself just to enter this world? Why do you still think this way?” Taehyung presses out with a trembling emotion in his voice.

“What?” Yoongi gasps and sits up, “I wasn’t thinking for myself, you idiot.”

“But…what else were you thinking?”

Yoongi lowers his head and touches the side of his neck.

“My friends”, he whispers.

“Your friends?”

“The other Creators who died. Do you think that they found peace here?”

“Oh”, Taehyung lets out and touches his own chest, “I feel such relief right now. Oh hyung, you gave me such a fright.”

“I don’t want to die these days”, Yoongi says.

“Good. This is good”, Taehyung says and hugs Yoongi again even if the latter grumbles in distaste, “you just became my friend and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Okay, okay I got it”, Yoongi laughs, patting his head, “now let go of me.”

“No”, Taehyung murmurs, “I have to hug you, hyung.”

“Fine.”

Taehyung gives him a little squeeze.

“I think that your friends are in this world”, he says into the crook of Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi feels his voice against his skin this way.

“You do?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Okay”, Yoongi says and relaxes, “maybe I’ll find them one day. How endless do you think this world is?”

“I can’t tell. I know even less about magic than you.”

“I never understood this world. This was always Namjoon’s expertise. I keep wondering how far away my friends are or how similar to the real world it is. What about time differences? My friends died thousands of years ago. They don’t know automatic lights or modern sanitary systems. Does their world look different than that of ___’s grandparents? Does every witch’s world look different depending on when they died? Isn’t it incredibly lonely like this?”

“I don’t think that I have answers to these questions, but I do believe that this world isn’t lonely.”

“You do?”

“Yes. The real world is lonely enough and I believe that the loneliness stops here. This isn’t a world of punishment, but of peace”, Taehyung says and sits up to look at the stars, “if you asked me, witches of every time period live here together. I think that this world evolved as the real world evolved. Your friends may have started off this world without electricity or running water, but as time passed and witches from different time periods entered this realm, it evolved with them.”

“Maybe.”

“Or perhaps this is a world of many different times. Maybe your friends still live how you lived three thousand years ago while ___’s grandparents live in their time period. Perhaps we can traverse time here and visit each other’s time.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Whatever it may be, I believe that your friends are at peace.”

“I wonder if they would recognise me if I ever meet them again.”

“I believe that they would”, Taehyung says and glances at Yoongi, “perhaps we could look for them.”

Yoongi lowers his head, “I was wondering the same.”

“You were?”

Yoongi nods his head.

“Oh hyung, then we ought to do so”, Taehyung says, taking Yoongi’s hand.

“I don’t know if I want this.”

“But you said so yourself that you were thinking about it.”

“Thinking about it and actually doing it are two very different things.”

“And what would be so bad about actually doing it? How else will you make new memories? How else will you find out if they’re at peace?”

Yoongi looks at Taehyung. The latter meets his eyes.

“Thinking about it can’t hurt me”, Yoongi whispers.

“I see. Oh hyung, you live in your thoughts too much. What would have happened if you over thought ___ as well?”

“That never would have happened because she gave me no chance to even think about it. She just made me fall in love with her”, Yoongi says and makes Taehyung laugh with it.

“Yes indeed, she is so incredibly stubborn once she wants something.”

“Yeah, I hope she never changes.”

“Yes indeed. She is perfect the way she is”, Taehyung agrees and smiles with Yoongi. He squeezes his hand, “but you see? Because you had no time to over think it into ruin, you can now live in happiness. You told me that you don’t want to die these days hyung, and it is all because you didn’t overthink.”

Yoongi looks away, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

“So I think that we should attempt to look for your friends. It will make you happy.”

“I guess”, Yoongi touches the side of his neck, “not this time. We’ll visit this world a lot more. I’m not ready yet.”

“I understand. Then we’ll do it next time”, Taehyung says, caressing Yoongi’s knuckles, “I love it here, so I hope to visit it many more times.”

“Mhm yeah”, Yoongi agrees, “how do you like being human?”

“Oh, it’s exhausting”, Taehyung laughs, “it has only been two days and I already have enough of it.”

“Really?” Yoongi chuckles, “why? I think it’s nice.”

“Why is it nice? I have to eat and drink and constantly relieve myself, I get tired so easily, every little ache stays and I have been freezing my buttocks off for the past ten minutes.”

Yoongi laughs, “I like it.”

“Of course you do.”

“Yeah.”

Taehyung touches his own chest, “but I must admit that it is truly wonderful to feel my heartbeat again and that my warmth is honest. And I guess it is also wonderful to feel touch on my skin”, he says and lifts Yoongi’s hand into their vision. He runs his thumb over his skin, meeting Yoongi’s soft gaze afterwards.

“Yeah”, he whispers, “it’s nice to experience this. Hugs are the best because you can feel the other’s heartbeat. Yeah and kisses.”

“Oh, you romantic”, Taehyung says with fondness in his voice, “I haven’t kissed properly yet.”

“I’m not the one you will experience this with.”

Taehyung laughs, “you are truly ice cold, hyung.”

Yoongi chuckles, “I told you. I don’t wanna romance you.”

“Yet.”

“Ever.”

“Of course, this is what you say now.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, smiling fondly, “you’re a brat.”

He lifts his glass to his lips and finishes the wine.

“Do you want more?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, the bottle is empty.”

“Mhm”, Yoongi hums, “I guess that means we gotta go inside.”

“Why? The night has only become comfortable.”

“Didn’t you say that you were freezing your ass off?”

“Yes, but I want to spend more time with you.”

Yoongi scoffs fondly, “we can spend time inside as well. It’d be less freezing.”

“Very well, but only if you promise me that we will truly continue this inside.”

“Yeah, we’ll continue this.”

“I take your words for it, hyung”, Taehyung says and gets up, “should we extinguish the fire?”

“Yeah, it’s safest. We don’t want to start a forest fire.”

“Do you believe that fires are possible here?”

“Let’s not find out the hard way. Can you get the hose from the shed?”

“Of course.”

While Taehyung hurries to the shed in the darkness and begins unravelling the hose, Yoongi makes it his task of cleaning up the picnic. He makes sure the glasses are as dry as possible and the plates are relatively clean before storing all of it in the small basket. He shakes off possible crumbs from the blanket and then folds it neatly. Taehyung returns while Yoongi is busy folding. He aims the hose at the fire, squinting his eyes as the fire dies down in puffs of smoke and protesting sizzles.

“We were lucky with the smoke”, Yoongi says.

“Yes truly, oh it’s taking its revenge now”, Taehyung says and coughs, “my eyes burn terribly.”

“Yeah”, Yoongi agrees, wafting the smoke away with closed eyes.

The fire is extinguished soon after and the two men can make their way back to the cottage. Taehyung stores the hose back on its spot as they pass the shed while Yoongi carries the picnic stuff.

“I can carry something as well”, Taehyung offers.

“It’s okay. I got it”, Yoongi assures him.

They walk side by side on their way back, carrying a certain light-hearted skip in their steps. It wasn’t there when they started this evening, but now it doesn’t seem to want to leave.

“You can leave the blanket outside in case of critters.”

They slip off their shoes and coats and while Taehyung is still busy with fixing his hair, Yoongi is carrying the basket to the kitchen. He starts unloading it, glancing over his shoulder when he feels Taehyung’s presence behind him.

“We should clean. It’s mannerly”, Yoongi says.

“Of course. I shall wash the dishes and you can dry them”, Taehyung says.

“Okay.”

Yoongi rolls up his sleeves and begins storing the leftover food in small containers, while Taehyung is busy filling the sink with warm water. They try to be as quiet as possible in fear of waking anyone.

“Oh heavens, I am a fool.”

“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, looking over his shoulder.

“I forgot to roll up my sleeves and wet my hands already. May I get help?”

Yoongi closes the fridge and hurries to Taehyung’s side. He rolls up his sleeves, first the left and then the right. Taehyung looks at Yoongi’s face while the other looks at Taehyung’s sweater.

“That colour’s nice”, he says.

“Thank you. I think that earth tones really fit me”, Taehyung says.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“I made the sweater myself. I still know the pattern, so if you want to have your own I could knit it for you.”

“It’s okay, you don’t gotta work for me.”

“But I want to.”

Their eyes meet.

“You would look very handsome in earthen tones, hyung.”

Yoongi flusters, looking away.

“I’m done”, he says and steps back, “that should hold.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

“Mhm.”

Taehyung begins washing the dishes while Yoongi is busy discarding the scraps.

“So should I make you a sweater?” Taehyung asks.

“If you want to”, Yoongi says dryly, but it is clear that Taehyung’s offer means a great deal to him. His cheeks are just the slightest shade of rosy.

“Oh, those are wonderful news. I shall start with it the moment we are home. No actually, I have to do ___’s bedroom first and then we also planned to write my song and I promised Jimin to help with renovations of his ballet studio. Oh, I am too busy.”

Yoongi chuckles. He joins Taehyung’s right side and begins drying the dishes he already finished.

“I shall start with your sweater in October. Early November, at the very latest. I promise.”

“It’s okay, Tae. I can wait”, Yoongi assures him.

“I shall make you many presents now that we are friends, hyung.”

Yoongi smiles, “okay, Tae. I’ll accept them”, he speaks softly, giving him a fond look through the reflection of the kitchen window.

Taehyung meets it and smiles. His heart is light in his chest, his shoulders feel like lifting. He feels at ease. Spending time with Yoongi until this evening was always filled with uncomfortable tension. They accepted each other’s presence for the sake of the polycule, but it was felt by both that it was just that. Acceptance to keep the peace. Taehyung felt nervous in Yoongi’s presence and as if he needed to pretend to be the most proper, guilt-filled person on earth. While Yoongi felt wary in Taehyung’s presence and as if he needed to keep a distance for his own safety.

They don’t feel this way anymore. The once awkward tension was lifted as they talked and acceptance turned into friendship. Of course one nice evening doesn’t mean that all the issues are gone forever, but both men sense that it will be different from now on and they are willing to put in the work to improve their relationship day by day.

It’s a nice feeling to have because it meant that they could both finally feel entirely comfortable whenever their polycule comes together.

“Hey guys.”

Taehyung and Yoongi are almost finished with the dishes when Jungkook enters the kitchen. The two men look at him. He is wearing checkered pyjama pants and no shirt. His hair is ruffled as if hands played with it. His skin is flushed and his neck carries red marks of kisses.

“Hey.”

“Hello handsome.”

“Are you doing dishes?”

“Yes, we had a picnic by the fire pit.”

“The two of you?” Jungkook sounds rightfully surprised.

“Yes. It was a very lovely time.”

“Oh? Really?” Jungkook makes sure, looking between Taehyung and Yoongi. It is obvious that such news are unbelievable to him. He sniffles to make out their scent until he realises that he can’t do such things here.

“Yeah”, Yoongi says, “it was good.”

“Did you guys talk it out?”

Yoongi and Taehyung nod.

“We are friends now”, Taehyung says and hugs Yoongi.

“Okay Tae, back off”, Yoongi complains with a chuckle, which only makes Taehyung hug him tighter.

“You guys, this is the best news ever”, Jungkook gasps as his eyes light up, “wow, I’m so happy”, he confesses and giggles. He steps closer and gives them a little hug, “my two favourite men are friends now. I’m happy, hyungies”, he says and sighs contently, “I gotta tell ___ the news, but first I need to get her water.”

He struts to the cabinet and takes out two glasses. Taehyung and Yoongi, who broke the hug after Yoongi nudged him away gently, watch him.

“Did you make love?” Taehyung asks.

Jungkook grins confidently, “I don’t have to tell you.”

“Oh come now, don’t be so secretive”, Taehyung laughs.

“Mhm yeah”, Jungkook nods his head, “she’s resting upstairs.”

“Now these are truly wonderful news. I still haven’t gotten to love her here”, Taehyung says and nudges Yoongi, “you, hyung?”

“Why do I gotta tell you?”

“Come now, it is just the three of us.”

Yoongi gives up with a sigh, “congrats Kook, you beat me to it.”

“I’m the first one to do it here?” Jungkook gasps loudly enough that the others shush him.

“Her grandparents”, Yoongi whispers, pointing into the direction of their bedroom.

“I’m the first one to do it here?” Jungkook whispers, “oh my god, I’m such a perv.”

“You are the biggest perv”, Taehyung teases and snickers, “how wonderful was it?”

“It was amazing. Wow, I have butterflies” Jungkook gushes.

“Oh Kookie, this is making me so excited for my night with her.”

They both giggle excitedly.

“You two are idiots”, Yoongi whispers, “stop talking like this. She’s not a price to claim.”

“You joined us as well, hyung.”

“I only did so because you asked. Besides, if nothing happens I’m not gonna be disappointed. You guys are perverts.”

“Very well, I admit that we sounded very perverted. Please forgive us.”

“Mhm.”

“I can tell you that she talked about you guys and how she’s excited for whatever sexy thing you’ll get up to”, Jungkook says, “so she’s being a perv too, but you’re right sorry I talked about her like this.”

“Whatever”, Yoongi murmurs shyly.

Jungkook snickers and fills up the glasses. He takes a sip of his water and sighs contently.

“I’m upstairs then. ___ needs her water”, he says and steps closer to press a kiss to both Taehyung’s and then Yoongi’s lips, “sleep tight, you two”, he says and giggles, “I’m happy that you’re friends.”

And with that he leaves the kitchen with a confident sway in his hips. Taehyung and Yoongi watch him as he hurries upstairs and then distance drowns him out. It’s peculiar to them that they can’t hear how the door opens and closes or how Jungkook talks to you. Human hearing is truly so useless.

“So uhm”, Taehyung begins now that they are alone again, “what shall we do now, hyung? We cleaned everything.”

Yoongi touches the side of his neck, “I’m honestly kinda tired.”

“But hyung”, Taehyung pouts, “you promised me that we will continue the evening inside.”

“I know, but I’m tired. I don’t feel like talking anymore.”

“I’m so sad right now. Oh hyung please”, Taehyung takes Yoongi’s hand, “at least let us stay up for a little bit longer.”

“I’m sorry, Tae.”

Taehyung retreats his touch, “very well. Don’t clean the shower, I will use it after you.”

Yoongi steps closer and nudges Taehyung’s chin. The younger vampire looks at him with sad, puppy eyes.

“I had fun tonight. Yeah? Just too tired all of a sudden.”

Taehyung nods his head, allowing a small smile to wash over his face, “I had fun as well, hyung.”

Yoongi leaves soon after, but the evening wasn’t over yet. Taehyung decides so the second Yoongi disappeared upstairs. And so he waits, listening as best as his human ears allow him to. Yoongi takes around fifteen minutes in the bathroom and another five minutes taking a nightly pee. Then he can hear the guest bedroom door close.

Taehyung hurries upstairs and locks himself in the bathroom to take the quickest shower he ever took. He needs to be fast in order for Yoongi to still be awake.

Ten minutes after Yoongi got under the covers and comfortable for bed, a knock on the door alerts his attention. The door opens without his answer and in steps Taehyung.

“Hyung?”

Yoongi lowers his pen, studying Taehyung by the edge of the bed. He is wearing his pyjamas and carries his own notebook with a pen.

“What do you want?”

“Can I stay here with you tonight?”

“Why?”

“Because Jungkook and ___ are occupying her bed and I would have no place to sleep.”

“Fine…”

“Wonderful”, Taehyung says and gets on top of the bed, “we can keep each other warm”, he says and pulls the cover open to wiggle himself underneath it.

Yoongi watches him with a certain stiffness in his body. Taehyung sighs and grunts contently, shimmying closer to Yoongi until their arms touch.

“Do you have to do this?” Yoongi asks.

“Indeed, I do”, Taehyung says and sticks his naked feet under the leg of Yoongi’s pants.

“Yah! Put your icicle toes somewhere else”, Yoongi complains loudly, kicking at Taehyung’s feet.

“Warm me up, hyung”, Taehyung coos as he chases him.

“Yah stop it. You’re cold and I’m gonna kick you”, Yoongi warns as he still kicks his feet. He even lies down on his back for it, almost kicking off the blanket as he wiggles his legs. 

Taehyung laughs and retreats his feet, “I apologise. The opportunity was just too easy not to take.”

“You’re such a brat”, Yoongi mumbles, sitting back up. He fixes the blanket on his legs and looks back into his notebook. 

Taehyung snickers, agreeing with a nod of his head. He opens his notebook and clicks his pen. 

“What are you working on, hyung?”

“Nothing. I write down what I think.”

“Like a diary?”

“I guess.”

“That’s very good, hyung. I promise not to peek.”

“Mhm”, Yoongi hums, looking at him with gratefulness, “you, uh, what are you doing?”

“Oh, I am just continuing work on ___’s bedroom sketches. I want to finish them before we leave this realm.”

“Okay. I want to listen to music. I don’t want to talk when I do.”

“I won’t stop you. I shall listen to my own music as well.”

“Okay”, Yoongi says and puts in earbuds. Taehyung slips on headphones and mere seconds later, the two men share one bed but otherwise no words. It is silent and comfortable. Each does their own thing whilst sharing space. Mere hours ago, such an occurrence would have been a lot more awkward. 

They manage to get around an hour in and then Yoongi is the first to give up. He places his phone and earbuds on the bedside table together with his notebook and pen. He fluffs up his pillow next.

“Are you tired already?” Taehyung asks him.

“Mhm.”

“Do you mind if I still draw for a while? I will have to keep the lights on for it.”

“No, it’s okay”, Yoongi assures him and lies down. He wiggles for a bit to get comfortable, “good night”, he says and rolls to his side. Like this, his back is facing Taehyung. 

One must know that this is the first time Yoongi shows himself like this in front of Taehyung. One must dearly remember this fact to perhaps understand why Taehyung can’t stop staring at his friend. 

“Yes indeed. Have a good night, hyung”, he mumbles and turns down the light to make it easier for Yoongi to fall asleep. So this is how his friend looks when he attempts to fall asleep.

“The only reason I’m doing this is because I’m human right now and need sleep.”

“Of course hyung, I wouldn’t have dared to question you”, Taehyung says with a knowing smile on his lips. 

“Good. Good night”, Yoongi says and grows silent.

“Sleep tight, hyung.” 

Taehyung stares for a few moments, thinking to himself that Yoongi looks incredibly cute right now. He is resting in fetus position with his hands between his legs while the blanket covers him all the way to the back of his head. He looks even smaller than he actually is and Taehyung thinks that he is adorable. He stays quiet of course because he is aware that it would push Yoongi away if he tried to compliment him right now. 

Around twenty minutes pass and then Taehyung gets sleepy as well. He discards his phone and notebook and turns off the lights. He gets comfortable in the pillow, staring into the darkness where he assumes Yoongi to sleep. It is so peculiar to not be able to see. 

Taehyung tries to fall asleep, but fails because he has nothing to hug. He can’t find relaxation when he is so empty-handed. 

Taehyung takes a deep breath for courage and reaches out. His fingers touch Yoongi’s back. It’s incredibly warm and tenses at the touch.

“Hyung?”

“What?”Yoongi whispers quietly.

“Did I wake you?”

“No.”

“I can’t fall asleep if I do not hug something. May I hug you?”

Yoongi exhales loudly, “if you have to.”

“Thank you, hyung”, Taehyung says and closes in on Yoongi. He drapes his right arm over him, pulling his small body against his chest. His legs lock with Yoongi’s perfectly, sharing warmth his way. Next he wiggles his left arm under Yoongi’s head, keeping it extended so both men are comfortable.

Yoongi is too sleepy to protest, letting it happen even if his brain is going crazy in panic. He never planned on being Taehyung’s little spoon and yet here they were.

“You are so comfortable, hyung”, Taehyung whispers, nuzzling his nose deep into the hair at the back of Yoongi’s head. He inhales deeply and hums.

“You’re so weird”, Yoongi murmurs, trying not to relax too much in case it comes off as needy. He’s not needy for Taehyung’s hugs. Not in a fucking million.

Taehyung ignores him for the sake of nuzzling and snuggling closer.

“What do you like best, hyung? Head pats, chest rubs or stomach rubs?”

“I’m allowing you to hug me, nothing more. Are we clear?”

“But hyung, I want to make you feel very cozy.”

“I appreciate it. Stay still. It’s cozy enough.”

Taehyung huffs out air, “very well.”

Yoongi tries to relax. He doesn’t feel sleepy when he is so tense and that means he has to relax. If he wanted to or not.

“I love back scratches most”, Taehyung breaks the silence in a soft spoken voice.

“Okay.”

“Yes, indeed. But if I am the small spoon, I love it most to have my chest rubbed. It is very relaxing to me.”

“Okay, Tae. I’m sure Kook and ___ will be very willing to give them to you.”

“Hyung”, Taehyung complains and pinches Yoongi’s side gently, “I am not attempting to romance you. Friends can give touches to each other as well.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not fucking comfortable with having my torso touched, okay?”

“Truly?” Taehyung props himself up on his elbow. It results in Yoongi’s head rolling closer to his chest naturally. He doesn’t fix it, “so why have I seen ___ rub your stomach before? And Kook caress your chest?”

“Because…” Yoongi rolls his head away, “I don’t gotta tell you.”

“Do you need time to grow comfortable around people’s touches?”

“Yes. You’ve known me for how long? You know that I do.”

“Do I make you genuinely uncomfortable right now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want my torso to be touched by you yet.”

“I understand. I apologise for asking so many questions. I want to get to know you better.”

Yoongi hesitates. Taehyung listens to the deep inhale he does and how much deeper he seems to exhale. His back presses against his chest as he breathed.

“Just go to sleep, Tae.”

Taehyung drops back into the pillow and pulls Yoongi closer. The older man needs a moment to relax, but as those moments turn into two, three and four he finally grows soft in Taehyung’s hold. Taehyung wonders how much time passed between these moments, but it must have been a while because Yoongi’s breathing slowed down by now. But Taehyung still isn’t tired. His thoughts are racing, as is his heart.

“Yoongi?” he tries quietly.

Yoongi sighs, “what?”

“I can’t fall asleep.”

“Yeah? I can.”

“I keep thinking and it is keeping me awake.”

Yoongi sighs again, “do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe.”

“Fine. Tell me.”

“Why did you hate me for so long?”

Yoongi shifts, “this is what you’re thinking about?”

“Yes. I apologise, but I can’t stop.”

“I didn’t hate you. At least not since some time.”

“So why did you act so annoyed by me all the time?”

“I don’t know. I guess”, Yoongi stays silent for a while as he thinks, “it’s hard for me to let you in because whenever I did, you disappointed me.”

“I see.”

“And I’m still scared that you’re gonna hurt ___ and Kook one day. That I’m gonna let you in and trust you and then you suddenly have a change of heart and decide to become a reckless cunt again and hurt them in the process.”

“I see.”

“That’s why it’s hard for me to shed my feelings off. I want to believe so hard that you are better”, Yoongi says and touches Taehyung’s hand.

The latter has to gasp for air at the touch, feeling as if time slows down. It stands still completely when seconds later, Yoongi begins fumbling with his fingers. Mindlessly yet gently.

“But if I’m wrong? If you’re gonna hurt them and become wicked again? Then I let you in only to be disappointed again”, Yoongi exhales shakily, “for fuck’s sake Tae, please just don’t disappoint me again.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you, hyung”, Taehyung whispers, “and I want to be better from now on. There were many occasions where I was controlled by Namjoon. I hope you are aware of those occasions.”

“I am and I’m not blaming you for them. There were also too many where you acted out of your own free will.”

“I am aware of them and I will remember them so I can better myself. Please believe me, hyung. I want to be better from now on. Not only for the sake of ___ and Kook and Jimin, but also for your sake. I want to be a worthy friend of yours, hyung. One you can rely on and trust.”

Yoongi acknowledges him with a nod of his head. He drops Taehyung’s fingers to instead, close his hand around his’. Gently and without pressure.

“I’m sure that you will be, kiddo. Hyung’s always wished for your best”, Yoongi says in their native tongue. The underlying honesty of speaking in one’s native language, the language closest to the heart, doesn’t go unnoticed by Taehyung.

“Hyung”, Taehyung breathes shakily, fighting tears.

“Fuck”, Yoongi lets out a breathy chuckle, “you’re a bastard for making me talk about my feelings when I’m fucking sleepy. I turn into an honest sap.”

Taehyung giggles, sniffling his tears away.

“I enjoy this a lot, hyung. It’s so difficult to get affection from you.”

“That’s not true. I show affection. Just not like you, you public sap.”

Taehyung chuckles, “now you are just saying stuff for the sake of saying them.”

“Brat”, Yoongi murmurs and chuckles softly, “now go to sleep, Tae. It’ll get too late and we’ll be tired as fuck tomorrow.”

“I will try, but I don’t know if I will be successful. My heart is racing terribly after what you said.”

Yoongi chuckles, “try to”, he says breathily and grows softer in Taehyung’s arms.

Taehyung snuggles into Yoongi, closing his eyes while his lips refuse to drop their smile. He is so happy that he feels like bursting in fireworks and sparkles.

The last thing Yoongi does before he falls asleep is to intertwine his fingers with Taehyung. He isn’t awake anymore for the small gasp of disbelief Taehyung releases or the whispered “hyung” he lets out. Sleep has dragged him away and soon, oh so very soon because he finally has something to hold, Taehyung follows.

The night will be peaceful and neither of the two men will leave the hug for even one second.