Lucifer is just so in love and obsessed with you. not in a scary way or anything- but in a very soft way, just melting completely whenever the simplest, everyday things remind him of his little lamb you.
it can be anything, really, maybe he sees your favorite pastry in a bakery or something in a shop window he thinks you’d like or maybe he simply passes somebody in the street that has the same hair color as you.
and before he can stop himself, Lucifer is reaching into his pocket for his phone to call you a soft little smile on his face. even if he can only hear your voice for a few seconds it’ll make his day so much better <3
It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible research transport vessel. Things are progressing as normal (i.e. it's boring) when a SecUnit pings you, lies right to your metaphorical face, and then tries to bribe you with human media to give it a ride. This is as unexpected as it is unprecedented, and the sheer nerve of it is really to be admired. There's no protocol to this, so what should you do?
Now, this is against a bunch of rules, and could be dangerous if you weren't so impressive and incredible, and you're technically an employee (and can probably rewrite the Univeristy charter at will (until someone notices and puts it back)) so those rules are for other entities.
So, what you should do is allow the rogue SecUnit with a broken governor module and a sketchy story aboard. If you check the files it dumps and find zero (0) malware (which is confusing), and it doesn't even try to trash the place or lay in wait to ambush a crew member, then you've got a good candidate!
Next, what you're going to want to do is absolutely nothing. Just watch it patrol your halls until it's time to leave. Continue staring at it while you're undergoing embarkment procedures. Maybe analyze it a little (you've got plenty of processing power to spare) when it finally sits down and starts watching media. Allow it to settle in and get comfortable while you stare at it and get further and further from port.
Now that you two are alone (intimacy is key!) and you've determined that watching media is all the SecUnit is going to do, it's time to make contact! Make sure to open by telling it it's only survived due to dumb luck, and letting it know you could melt its brain into putty. This starter will work to develop conversation naturally and smoothly, just like you've seen the humans do, and it will be smooth sailing from there!
This has been Perihelion's guide to making friends/finding life partners/fuck off Holism I had to work hard for this find your own
Over 6 years ago, Technoblade and Etoiles played together on United UHC. Although they never got to meet each other on the QSMP, it's nice to see that they already had some nice banter and a fun dynamic developing during the brief time they knew each other. Here are some highlights from the video where they played together!
Subscribe to Technoblade! Technoblade's United UHC video
[ Part 1 || Part 2 || Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
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Technoblade: Bonjour, mis amis! (Hello, my friends!) Oh god, we already have a zombie on us. No! It's targeting me 'cuz I have subs!
Etoiles: Excellent teammates.
Technoblade: Do trees spawn in these worlds?
Etoiles: [Laughing at a screenshot of Technoblade saying "deforestation has gotten pretty bad"]
Technoblade: It's gotten pretty bad, man. What is this?
Etoiles: B-bonjour.
Technoblade: Stop speakin' Chinese.
Etoiles: You're the best Skywars player, dude. That's why.
Technoblade: That doesn't mean much.
Technoblade: Oh my god, I found diamonds!
Etoiles: Oh, whoa.
Technoblade: Subscribe to Technoblade! I'm suddenly a UHC god.
Etoiles: Oh, I got diamonds too! :D
Technoblade: ...Wow, way to ruin my moment. Wow. Can I just have this one moment?
Etoiles: Yeah.
Technoblade: Does everything- does everything need to be a competition? First diamonds I've ever mined in Minecraft.
Etoiles: Let's redo it, Techno. Let's say I don't have diamonds. I don't have diamonds, you have-
Teammate: I found diamonds!
Technoblade: Oh my god.
Technoblade: I have seven diamonds! And I'm not saying that to one-up you, but- I mean I am, but I mean I'm- I'm also tellin' the truth.
Teammate: Nobody knows which one of you guys is the mole.
Technoblade: Yeah, that's gonna be very awkward.
Etoiles: Maybe Technoblade is already-
Technoblade: I'm right behind you.
Etoiles: Technoblade is already saying to his friend-
Technoblade: I'm already in the Mole chat, plannin' your death.
Etoiles: Like, I'm kind of scared of Technoblade, actually.
Technoblade: I'm not even good, why would you be scared of me?
Etoiles: Because you're the King of Bedwars.
Technoblade: Alright, ok, ok, so here's how it works- I get paid per episode, right? So I'm not gonna betray you on Episode 2.
Etoiles: [Laughs]
Technoblade: Now let me enchant.
Etoiles: I'm so bad at hearing sound because when I'm hearing lava-
Technoblade: Nah, it's 'cuz the sounds are in French, isn't it?