Sometimes I hate my brain cause it likes to tell me I'm not as funny as I think I am. Then I write gems like this and I am reminded that, at the very least, I think I'm funny.
The Red Hood growled, feeling around his headspace for the Pit Rage he knew lurked. Now would honestly be a great time for a tiny bit of an adrenaline boost, thank you very much. Jason got the feeling this criminal wouldn’t say such things if he didn’t mean it. “You wish, Cat Boy.”
“I am not a cat boy!” The boy wearing a cat skull protested.
“Then what are you, a discount Catwoman?” Jason asked as he prowled closer to the pouting thief.
“I don’t even know who that is!” Cat Boy continued to lie. “This,” he gestured to the bone-colored mask covering his face, Lazarus green eyes narrowing in distaste, “Is a fashion statement. Nothing more, nothing less, I just- I don’t even know why it’s a cat!”
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Prompt 119
Another divine twitch chat Au? Another divine twitch chat Au. With a bit of a twist.
Billy would like to say it is in fact not his fault. It’s really not. Who hits someone with magic they obviously don’t know how to use? Well okay maybe he had done that before, but it’s not like he ever did it around other people where they could get hit!
But someone was an idiot and now he’s here, as his normal ten-year old self kicking his legs while sitting in the Watchtower as the others argued. Apparently the League thinks he’s been de-aged, which is good as his secret isn’t out.
The uh, issue is that something about the spell might have um, partially manifested the gods- or as he called them the Mediterranean Magic Men, if only because of how annoyed it made Zeus. Now everyone can see the chat that’s usually only visible to him and apparently it’s concerning.
He doesn’t see how it’s an issue, Zeus has been silenced for the next hour and Hercules has been dying of laughter for the last three. Oh, wait, it might be from Mercury’s constant attempted flirting with Flash.
…Or the fact they’re trying to convince him to commit a crime and he’s honestly down for doing so seeing as he’s a homeless ten year old who is down for getting clairvoyance and super speed for the next thirty minutes in exchange…
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Snippets for my Clone^2 Au that I thought was funny...
in incorrect quotes style format (Clone^2 = Both my Clone Damian Au and Clone Bruce Danny aus combined)
Snippet 1: Danny and Damian meeting for the first time
Danny, avoiding Damian's katana: I don't wanna know who made you I don't wanna know who made you I don't wanna know who made you
Danny: pleASE STOP TRYING TO STAB ME
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Snippet 2: Danny and Damian meeting (Alternative)
Bby Damian: gets dropped off in the ONE city where his dad's clone is
Danny, internally: damn I don't wanna know who made you
Danny: alright little buddy, lets -- *blocks Damian's sword* please don't stab me -- let's get you something to -- *blocks Damian's sword* please don't stab me -- something to EAT
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Snippet 3: Danny checking out books in the library
Librarian: oh, are you trying to learn arabic, Mister Fenton?
Danny: oh- uh, yeah :) my parents recently,,, took in a foster kid from overseas,,,, but we found out he doesn't know english and he's having a hard time adjusting
Danny, lying (only partially) through his teeth: so I,,, thought,,, maybe it would help him acclimate to his new environment if I learned some arabic :)
Librarian: oh how sweet! let me know if you need any help, i can find you more books
Danny: thank you
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Snippet 4: Damian wants to patrol
Damian: let me come with you on patrol
Danny, 16 year old idiot who fights without powers: uh. no. you are Itty Bitty Child
Damian: comes with anyways
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Snippet 5:
Damian, trying to fight a ghost without a ghost-proof sword:
Danny, catching him and holding him against his chest: *radiating exhaustion* no,,,, no,,,,, not yet,,,,
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Snippet 6: danny has an epiphany
Danny, realizing that he needs to set an example now that Damian is coming with him on patrol: fUCK
Danny: I NEED AN ACTUAL SUIT
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Snippet 7; dynamic duo
Danny: what is it with you and batman and robin????
Damian, silently sweating: ,,,,,,,because they are exemplary partners and i would like to think that us two are the same
Danny, doesnt know identities: ...aww??? thats kinda sweet??? okay :)
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Snippet 8: hypocrite
Damian: dijaal (affectionate)
Danny, on day ?? of solving a cold case after a ghost asked him to: hrbhk - Damian, what are you doing up? it's late, you have school in the morning
Damian, staring at him deadpan: you have school too. you should go to bed
Danny: five min..utes buddy. then i'll go to bed
Damian, grabbing the back of his rolling chair and pushing him to bed: no. now.
danny, with eyebags the size of the marianna trench: ...fine. now.
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Snippet 9: ...the line
Danny, doing homework with Sam and Tucker:
Danny: *has an epiphany* wait. shit
Tucker and Sam: ...?
Danny, his head in his hands: am I Damian's dad or his brother??
Danny: wh- what do we define this???
Tucker: ... you're brothers until its funny? and then you're his dad?
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Snippet 10: learning
Danny: reading a book about learning arabic
Damian, slamming his hand down on the book to get his attention: dijaal, *points to book* kitab
Danny, frowning: what?
Damian, tapping book: kitab
Danny: ..ki..kitab? Kitab? Book?
Damian: Boog...book. *points to table* tawila
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Snippet 11: clone reveal
Damian, later after he knows enough english and months of chilling out: i am a clone.... meant to kill my original
Danny, internally: wow you don't say?
Danny, out loud:..huh. okay. thanks for telling me, uh, same here. except that last part
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Dijaal = imposter
Damian is affectionately calling Danny an imposter because danny is a clone of bruce :)
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