#really tho i am so tired of head hurting. why must it be this way :

[keeps-ache]

i have a headache and a sweet tea so i'm ready to fight the universe again

[indigo-o]

The Pet clown

Pt 2

I think we know who it's abt lmao

Nikolai gogol x reader PLATONIC

And some fyodor

Reader is a teenager

Tw impatient stuff depression, fyodor drugging, sleep deprivation, those annoying blankets they give at mental hospital even tho it's like -1 degrees Celsius if you know you know, talk of death, yandere fyodor, Manipulation from fyodor, Nikolai gogol, I think that's it so yeah

Angst/fluff

I wish you were here, this room is empty. White walls, heavy doors, thin white blankets, and chained blury windows.

This thin gown can't keep me warm. I know him. He just wants what's best for me. I guess that even means putting me in this room. This room to keep me safe.

Safe from me. No possibility of me hurting. I'm to sick leave this bed and to tired to talk. He says I'm helping him.

Im helping him cleanse the world of evil. So I guess if my pain will save the world I'll stay in this room.

Everybody else deserves to be happy and well so I'll hurt for them. If one death would save the world I'd die.

My body's purple now.

I hear a click at the heavy door. To my surprise it wasn't a anemic rat, it was his pet clown.

"QUIZZZZZ TIMEEEEEE! WHY AM I HERE INSTEAD OF DOS-KUN?! I THINK I HEARD YOU SAY CAUSE HES HAVING FUN! CORRECT!".

I looked at him. My eyes were heavy. But he did bring some color to the room. I smiled at him.

I opened my mouth to talk but I couldn't.

"Oh dove you still can't talk! I forgot! Dos-kun told me to take you outside to have some fun.".

He lied, either were not going to have fun or fyodor didn't tell him anything. Either way I was going to have to walk. I knew I couldn't but I was going to try anyway.

Fyodor knew If I could walk I'd escape from him. So he kept me physically, emotionally and mentally sick. I would have no choice to stay.

As soon as I got to my legs I collapsed, but Nikolai caught me.

"Silly me I forgot you can't walk guess I'll carry you.".

He picked me up as if I were a little kid.

"D-dont dr-rop.". I manged to get out.

"Oh dove I may be crazy but not only do we need you, Dos-kun would kill me, but I want to protect you from harm. Not like you can protect yourself in this state.".

I looked at him. Then laying on him. We proceeded to go through his cape.

We were in what seemed to be his house/apartment.

He went to put me down on his couch but he's so warm.

"Wait w-warm.".

He looked down at me.

"I guess we can go out later.". He picked me back up and took me to his bed. Laying me down cuddled with blankets, pillows and now a pet clown. I shut my eyes and finally went to sleep.

I woke up to Nikolai looking down at me.

"Am I a good pillow?". I realized how I was very much on him.

I nodded my head.

"You want to go outside for a bit dove?". He was using a soft tone.

He wasn't ever like this

Maybe because I'm a teenager but I don't know.

He got up "You slept threw the whole night, but the good thing is we have a whole day today and tomorrow, you know why?".

He leaned in close "I lied Dos-kun is away and he doesn't believe in your freedom so I'm here to show him that you're a good kid who won't run away. You see Dos-kun takes away your warmth so you can't sleep making you so tired that's why you slept for so long he wants you to be weak, weak without freedom. I'm here to give you freedom. To fly like a dove.".

He went to his closet and pulled out some clothes.

"Here's so clothes to wear so we're not caught. That sounds weird. I my dear am a very wanted person so I must look different and you can't really walk let alone the sun should hurt you eyes so if I were to be caught you wouldn't leave be caught up in it.".

What ever he said I guess.

I changed and so did he and he look pretty different

He picked me up and took me to wheel chair that he some how got, but I shouldn't question it.

He placed me in the chair and we Leigt looked like sibling going out for fun.

"F-flowers please.". I looked to him.

"You want flowers we will get flowers.".

We went to florist.

"Hi! What flowers are yall looking for!". She sounded very happy.

"What do you want dear?". Nikolai asked

While I could barely see I knew exactly what I want.

"R-rose and Lillys.".

"Of course dear I'll get right to that!".

The rest of day was amazing

I got flowers, yummy pastries and other stuff.

Who knew a deranged clown could be so kind. But at last we came back to his apartment/house.

He made dinner for us and helped me get to the bed. He tucked me in.

"Good night dove.".

I woke up

Back in the room

The room with white walls, a heavy door, thin blanket and blury chains windows. But now there wad a desk but with roses and lily's on top of it.

I heard the door click. An anemic rat with his pet clown walked in.

"You've proven yourself for now, you may keep your roses and lily's. Nikolai may visit you now and then. One thing. You may not regain full energy but.".

He stopped his words and Nikolais smile grew.

"YOU CAN HAVE A NICER BLANKET AND I CAN READ BED TIME STORYS TO YOU ONCE A WEEK!".

He ran over to with a puppy dog smile.

"Don't make regret this.". The anemic rat walked away throwing the key at the pet clown.

That was alot longer than I expected but I hope yall liked it!♡♡

[hotchaways]

Heyyy 💕 hope you're having a really nice day/night!!!

Well, I wanted to know if I could request an angst/fluff one where reader is having a breakdown at home and Spencer comes from work to find out and take care of her, her medications and stuff even tho at first it was hard bc of her, but happy ending. Reader doesn't work in the BAU n stuff

Thanks thanks for your time at reading my request 💕

hello! i hope you are having a great day/night too :) sorry this took WAY too long, was really caught up with school :( but i hope you like how this turned out! thank you for sending in a request! 💗

Throughout the whole day, Spencer couldn’t help but feel worried- although, he felt like that would be an understatement. There was a lack of response on your end to his texts or calls to check up on you. All he wanted was to clock out and head on home to read on the opposite ends of the couch with you, or even watch reruns of old sitcoms late at night. But, he didn’t know that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

“Sweetheart, I’m home,” Spencer called out in your shared apartment while he closed the door behind him, “I stopped by the bakery and got your favorite croissants. Actually, I got some lemon squares, too.”

Spencer would’ve usually been welcomed by you running up to him to tackle him with your infamous hugs. But, he only heard the sounds of sniffling and sobbing coming from your room.

“(Y/N)?” Spencer softly knocked on the door, hoping you’d let him in. He respected your space and wouldn’t do anything to upset you even further, “What’s wrong?”

“Go away, Spencer,” You choked out, “Why won’t you leave me just like everyone else?”

“Sweetheart, what are you talking about?” He frowned, wanting to know what prompted you to throw that question at him, “Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m me- I don’t know how you keep up with me. God, Spencer, I weigh you down so much- I am nothing but a burden to everyone around me!”

Spencer felt his heart ache from your words- he never thought you were one, but he couldn’t help but think of anything he did that could’ve possibly caused you to think that way, “Can you let me in, (Y/N)? I don’t want to talk to you with a door in between us. I want to know what I’ve done wrong, sweetheart.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Spence,” You said as you leaned against the bed frame, “It’s just- fuck, I hate this. It must be so tiring to stay with me, and I don’t even know why you do. I’m literally a fucking shitshow.”

“I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to always pick up after me whenever I break down,” You said as your bottom lip trembled as the tears started to fall again, “I know you’re going to leave me soon enough. Everyone does- they all get tired of my same old shit, and it fucking hurts because I know I try to help myself, but I can’t because the demons in my mind can’t stop fucking with me.”

“Sweetheart, let’s press pause for a minute, okay?” Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed when he spotted your medications bottle peeking out behind the vase and walked towards it. He opened the lid and counted its contents and frowned, you must’ve forgotten to take it for the day. Spencer got a glass of water and sat back down near the door, “(Y/N), I’m not mad nor do I want to upset you, but did you take your medications today?”

You wiped your tears with the sleeves of one of Spencer’s sweaters, “I couldn’t find it! I don’t remember where I placed it and it should be where it usually is.”

“I found the bottle, is it okay if I asked you to let me in?”

Spencer couldn’t see you, but you shamefully nodded as you dragged your feet to the door to unlock and open it, revealing a smiling Spencer holding the bottle, a glass of water, and the baked goods he brought home for you, “Delivery for my girl.”

Silently making your way to sit back down on the bed, Spencer followed to sit beside you, “Here, drink up, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Spence,” You muttered as you took the bottle and glass from him and set it at your bedside table afterwards. You didn’t know why Spencer seemed unfazed by the accusing words you’ve thrown at him, but you didn’t bring that up and climbed into his lap to wrap your arms around his neck, “‘M sorry.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N). For what it’s worth, I love taking care of you,” He said as he kissed your temple and stroked your back in soothing circles, “Aren’t we all just variations of the shitshows in this world? You’re everything to me- my sun, moon, and stars. I’m here to say that I’m promising you all of eternity.”

You looked up at him with a small smile, “I love you, thank you for sticking by me. Even when I’m a mess.”

“Oh, hush it, you’re anything but a mess. I love you, no matter what. Through all the lifetimes we’ll have,” He smiled as he looked down at you, “I'm certain you’re my soulmate if that ever exists. The Spencer today wouldn't be without his (Y/N).”

Burying your face back in the crook of his neck to conceal your blush, "You're turning me into a tomato, I hate you. Can we eat the pastries you brought home and watch reruns of Golden Girls?”

“We can do whatever you want, sweetheart.”

[books-and-catears]

Hi! If requests are open could i request the brothers with a teen MC who's stressed about school?

When they come home they immediately throw themselves to bed, they often have headaches, they become more cold and distant, they often have a hard time submitting homework on time and they're not as lively as they originally were. How would the brothers comfort them?

I'm so fucking tired rn, i know it's the last month (even tho It's more like 15 days) but my teachers are starting a new important project where we have to host an EVENT along with our exam that is coming up in a week. And we're in fucking highschool-

Aw I think I accidentally opened my asks again but I read this and I relate so much to this; I needed this as much as you. Being a student is too hard sometimes. *hugs* Sorry sweetie you must be so exhausted too?

I'll definitely write this. I apologize if it's a bit short but thank you so much for this ask. I'll try and do my best okay?

Exam season has just rolled out in Devildom and Diavolo had recently announced that the Exchange students will not have a reduced syllabus and have to study like the rest of the demons, to get a better understanding of their culture and history. This sudden increase in work hasn't been easy on you.

Lucifer

He notices something off with you when you stop telling him leave his paperwork and get some rest. These days it seems he has to pull you away from your work.

He can see how dull and lifeless your eyes look as you try to politely sit through meals with everyone.

"MC do you have some time to talk?" He asks you one day in the middle of homework. "I'm a little busy Lucifer maybe later. I still have finish three more these essays." Wow how the tables turn.

He was planning to have tea with you, but as you usually leave the tea near him when he's working, he did the same. "Don't worry MC I'll take care of this." He whispers to himself.

You're only a child, why are you being so overworked? This is ridiculous. Immediately takes it up with Diavolo and the authorities at school to make sure you're not given more than you can handle.

Mammon

What do you mean you're not up for movie night? Again? This is the fifth time you've denied him. Mammon starts getting worried about you.

At first he's afraid that maybe you're only mad at him so he asks his brothers who you are spending time with. You are nowhere to be found in any of their rooms.

He reaches your room and finds you curled up in bed, groaning in pain, holding your head. "MC what's wrong?" You manage to squeak out, "Head hurts." It looks really bad from the way you're wincing.

He goes into panic overdrive, going up to Satan and Lucifer, even ringing up Solomon for headache cures. After you get a little better, he found out that it's school stress that's doing this to you.

Godamnit Diavolo! Why would you think it's okay to send a little human to Demon school? They work differently don't they. He will volunteer to do most of your work at school- even though he forgets his own.

Leviathan

Levi was excitedly waiting for you to show up to play his new game. It was the usual routine for you to come back from school, freshen up and then join him gaming four days a week. But you haven't showed up. For the third time this week.

He keeps texting and calling you but don't reply. At first he thinks it's because he's a yucky otaku but then he notices you aren't even getting his messages. So he ventures out of his room and finds you in yours.

You were fast asleep in your uniform, your phone switched off due to low battery, your bed unmade and your bag in a slump on the floor. You look like a game character who got defeated in a fight.

When he hears it is the school stress that is doing this to you, he adamantly hatches a plan. "Levi we have school why anime now?" You ask as he drags you to his room.

"Because you need a energy recharge! So I told Lucifer you'll be staying with me all day and watch your favourite anime." Levi said, handing you a bunch of snacks.

Satan

This is the ninth day in a row you had fallen asleep in the library. Yes Satan was counting. Everytime he finds you, you're curled up in a chair with a heavy bookon your lap and your notebook and pens strewn across a nearby table. Overdue assignments.

"Oh MC again?" He mutters as he puts his jacket on you so you don't get cold. When was the last time you read a book with him? You seem so busy and distant these days. He noticed the way you kept denying all his brothers hence he didn't approach you himself. Now he understood why.

Diavolo must be barking mad in his head if he thinks an adolescent human can work the same way as age old demons. He feels annoyed at how you're being overwhelmed.

You wake up to him sitting next to you, writing down your assignments. "Satan why..." Satan smiles and palms your head, "You need to rest, you've been working too hard. I'll handle the assignments, you sleep some more, I'm taking you to a cat cafe later. Playing with cats will help you feel relaxed."

Asmodeus

Asmo notices the redness in your sunken eyes on the very next day after you pull an all-nighter. He offers you to come to his room but you decline saying you have to prepare for upcoming exams.

He finds it increasingly hard to keep his mouth shut and leave you alone when you look like this. Your skin is breaking out, your cheeks are sinking. You're starting to look like Lucifer.

Look at how school is ruining you! You are only a baby and yet you're starting look a workaholic corporate worker.

One day he's had enough with your lack of self-care and he drags you to his room. You try telling him off "Asmo I have exams-" He snaps back at you angrily, "Today is your day off whether you like it or not. I will not have you mistreating yourself like this. Now come on we're doing a home spa."

Beelzebub

Everything seems wrong. You aren't eating well. And today you look like you're about to pass out while eating dinner. He can't eat when you're like this - he doesn't want your leftovers anymore.

You try to smile at him, "I'm okay Beel. I'm just not very hungry." He isn't buying it but you leave so suddenly he couldn't say anything. You seemed to brush people off and be on your own these days.

He noticed you skip the lunchline at school to scurry off to a lonely table to finish up some work. He gets an extra plateful of food and sets it down next to you.

"Beel I said I'm not hungry." You try to say but Beel is having none of it. He snatches your stuff away. "School can wait, you need nourishments to work. I won't let you work before you eat all of this, MC."

Belphegor

This is heavily annoying to him. He sees you running out of your room, sneaking into the library to study at 3 AM in the night. Did you just wake up and decide not to sleep ever again?

When he tries to approach you about this, you act snappy and cold towards him. He doesn't mind - he understands why you're like this. He's grumpy half the time when he doesn't get to sleep either.

As if he needed more reason to resent Diavolo. Not only did he drag you down from Earth and now's he overworking you in school. Is this supposed to help somehow? Cause the only thing this has done is reduce the smiley chirpy MC to Lucifer version 2.0

One day he sees fall head first onto the floor as you try to flee your room. You stumble and shake as you try to get up again. "Okay that's it. Enough of this." Belphie appears and takes you back to your room, throwing you on the bed. "Belphie I'm fine I just need to finish-"

"You need to finish your sleep. I thought humans had better self-preservation than this. You will not get out of bed until you've caught up on your sleep" He tucks you in bed and stays there until you fall fast asleep.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

hi! request for one where reader struggles w depression a lot but hides it, tho it’s been getting worse recently and only bucky has noticed the small signs. then one night after no one seeing her the whole day or maybe something happened he went to check on her but she wasn’t in her room and he panics only to find her on the roof and just talks her down <3 all the love

Of course! I hope you're okay love❤❤❤. I saw another anon request something a lil similar in my ask box but I can't find it, maybe it got eaten, but I hope you like this!

Word count: 3,400 (ish)

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, depression, close to an attempt, Bucky talks about HYDRA, feelings of worthlessness.

A/N: This deals with very heavy subject matter, please do not read if you are in a dark place. I am here to talk if you want but I encourage you that if you feel this way in ANY way, no matter how severe, to reach out to someone. I also just wanted to say that the way someone talks someone down is never the same, some people may find a different approach more helpful or realistic. I wrote it this way because this is what I feel in my experience would have been helpful to hear. So please, if you don’t think it’s the way someone should talk someone down - please don’t come at me for it.

Overnight

People often don’t notice the small signs. The smiles that don’t reach the eyes, the dark circles from lack of sleep, the laughs that slowly become more forced. People don’t often pick up on those things right away. They happen slowly, as depression will often manifest. It’s rarely ever a flip of a switch shut down, happy one day and sad the net. Anxiety was like that, small things can trigger panic attacks. But with depression, it was this slow ache that grew in your chest, this dull cloud that made everything darker day by day.

These things rarely happen overnight.

You don’t know what caused this episode. You had struggled with depression and would go through some really low episodes before returning to baseline. It was never great, but it was...manageable. Most of the time. Some things could help you predict when you would go into another episode but you felt yourself slipping and you weren’t quite sure why.

You started withdrawing from the team. Subtly, not all at once. That would cause too much concern and the last thing you wanted was to be a burden. Especially with something like this, you didn’t even have an explanation.

It started slow, training on your own, missing team dinners, that sort of thing. If they were going out to celebrate or staying in for a movie you would slip away to your room where you didn’t have to worry about hiding it.

You didn’t want to be alone, you already felt so goddamn lonely. But somehow being lonely and surrounded by people who loved you hurt more.

The team chalked it up to you wanting to be alone, a bad day, being tired, etc. Whatever recycled excuse you gave them didn’t phase them. At least, not at first.

See, people who have experienced similar things will pick up in the small signs that others show. Someone who knows what anxiety is like will often be the first to pick up on nervous habits and tics. Often people notice when someone’s energy is coming from adrenaline and caffeine rather than sleep when they’ve done the same thing. Someone who knows what it’s like to feel hopeless and not want to reach out - they notice the small signs of withdrawing.

He noticed pretty early on the change in your demeanor. You had always been one to keep to yourself but this was different. You always seemed exhausted in a way that sleep couldn’t ever fix. Your laugh wasn’t quite the way it used to be, now forced and short, not the usual bubbly laugh it was.

Most people are able to just live and go about daily functions - eating, sleeping - it just came naturally to them. Surviving was natural to them. But it seemed like you had to put thought and effort into surviving.

Which, you were.

Slowly it became hard to motivate yourself to do the basic things to take care of yourself. You would do the bare minimum because you had to, but even that was starting to take more effort than it should. You were eating less because you just weren’t that hungry, but you still did because you knew if you didn’t you’d get sick eventually. You spent as much time in your bed as possible, but not much of it was sleeping.

Bucky picked up on these things and came up to talk to you about them, but you’d smile and shake your head.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired I guess.”

You weren’t lying, you were tired - emotionally more than physically.

Tired of more than what the day brought - tired of yourself, of your emotions. Tired of the way you felt so out of touch with yourself, out of control. Tired of how you wanted to get better but no matter what you did, it still came back. You were so tired of being exhausted all the time and there was nothing you could do about it.

You were tired of living this way.

You weren’t necessarily suicidal, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to live. You just didn’t want to live this life, not like this. You were so utterly exhausted day in and day out, every day was about getting to the end of it. Everything seemed pointless and you felt like you were watching life go by but you weren’t living it.

You were surviving. And you didn’t see much of a point to it anymore.

Your mask was cracking. And people were noticing.

Maybe it was when you were falling asleep during mission briefings, or nearly passing out in training because you had forgotten to eat. Maybe it was how no one saw you anywhere that wasn’t necessary. The team passed it off as a bad day or week, something you would get over because you were strong.

But apparently not the strong that you needed to be. You could fight off agents, assassins, you could run for miles. But you couldn’t stop your mind from telling you that life was pointless and you were a waste of space. But the team wrote it off as a bad week. But Bucky knew that this had been going on for much longer than a week.

These things rarely happen overnight.

Too many people were asking you if you were okay, and you weren’t, but you didn’t know how to say it. But you thought that if you had to choke out one more “I’m fine,” you would shatter. And you weren’t ready for everyone to see that.

You stopped coming out of your room unless it was for the bare necessities. You would come out at night for water and food, picking at it in your room so that no one would see you.

But that only made Bucky worry more.

The team, again, wrote it off as you needing some “Alone time” because maybe you just had a “bad day”. Of course they worried about you but they thought that if things were bad, or if there was something you needed help with, you would speak up. Because that’s what you did.

But Bucky was worried. He knew that when someone pushes people away, they may think being alone will help, but it only makes it worse. You may not want to talk to anyone, you may think being alone is what’s best. But it rarely is.

Being alone makes it harder to fight your demons. They can run rampant when given the chance. Being alone is the darkest and loneliest hell, and he knew that all too well.

He wasn’t going to leave you alone in that.

He came up to your room one night, wanting to check on you. He knocked on your door, being met with silence. He knocked again, calling your name, but was again met with silence. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked, opening the door to an empty room.

Where the hell were you?

You weren’t anywhere else in the tower, so where were you?

Bucky stood there for a moment, confused before he remembered the AI system. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.Where's y/n?”

“I believe that they were heading up to the rooftop about a half-hour ago.”

Bucky’s eyes widened as he sprinted out the hallway and towards the stairs.

---

You looked out over the street, arms crossed over your shivering body. For now, you just looked down at the city below. You chuckled bitterly to yourself. There must have been thousands of people down there, thousands of lives, and you wondered how many people felt the way you did right now. So much hustle and bustle, things to do and places to be. You didn’t know a single person down there, it was just a blur of movement. Yet they all had their own personal stories and hells and blessings and shit that made them who they were.

You wondered how many of them pretended like they were fine.

You were standing closer to the edge than you should’ve been. You weren’t doing yourself any favors. You really shouldn’t be up here, but you didn’t know what else to do. Everything hurt all the time and it was just getting worse. You didn’t know whether or not you were gonna jump but here you were, teetering on the edge. Because no matter how much this hurt you still couldn’t bring yourself to fall forward.

You were scared.

You felt tears sting your eyes, angry, exhausted, everything - you couldn’t do anything right anymore, you felt no purpose, you were tired and scared all of the time. You felt so utterly done with everything, yet here you were with a way out and you were too scared of that too.

You were trapped in your body, trapped in your life, and while you didn’t want to die, you didn’t want it to hurt anymore. It wasn’t that you had nothing to live for. It wasn’t that you had nothing left. You knew you did, you knew the team was there for you. You had more support than you could ever need. But you didn’t know how to use them.

You didn’t even know how this happened. How did things get this bad? You remembered when you were happy, the person you used to be. The person everyone still seemed to think you were. Where did they go? What happened to them? And would you ever be able to be that person again?

Did it even matter? Would anyone even care or notice? They did a great job at ignoring what had been happening. Not that you wanted them to find out in the first place. It was so confusing, you wanted to scream for help, you wanted someone to just fucking notice or something. But didn’t you also answer every single “Are you okay?” with "Oh yeah I’m fine, just a little tired.”

So did you truly want them to know? Did you actually want them to notice or help?

You closed your eyes tightly, shaking your head a little to yourself. It was all so confusing, so frustrating. You didn’t know what to do. You felt completely trapped within yourself.

These things rarely happen overnight. And they never get better overnight either.

You took a breath as you looked down, toes slightly off of the ledge. One step or losing your balance would be all it would take. And then it would be over. Forever. It wouldn’t hurt anymore.

“Y/n?” you heard a calm, albeit nervous voice speak from behind you.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. As you squeezed your eyes shut. “No,” you whispered to yourself.

“Y/n, can you come down from there?”

“Why are you here?” you asked, voice strained with pain.

“Because I’m worried about you,” he said, voice sounding closer.

“I don’t want you to be worried about me! I never wanted anyone to worry about me!” you exclaimed.

“And where did not talking about what was bothering you get you?”

“No one would ever have to worry about me again. Not anymore.”

“No one on the team would ever be able to stop thinking about you,” Bucky started, walking closer to you. He spoke gently, worried he would scare you or you would suddenly jump off. “About how we should’ve worried about you. Everyone would blame themselves and ask themselves if they could’ve helped you if they had seen you were hurting.”

You heard his footsteps stop.

“This isn’t going to solve anything.”

You took a shaky breath. “What else am I supposed to do, huh?” you turned around, back facing the streets below as Bucky stood a few feet in front of you. “Pretend like this is gonna get better? Because it isn’t. I’m so sick and tired of pretending like one day everything’s gonna be okay again. It never stops hurting, it never turns off, and I can’t do it anymore!” you yelled, tears streaming down your face. You shook your head. “I know this won’t solve jack shit and it probably makes me weak, but I’m okay with that. Because I’m past the point of wanting to solve anything. I just want it to stop! Is that too much to ask?!”

“It is if your life is the price!” Bucky exclaimed. “We can’t lose you. You’re a part of this team - this family,” he said a little more calmly, trying to keep his own tears at bay. No one should go through feeling so hopeless, and you were one of the kindest people he knew.

But some of the most kind-hearted people are the meanest people to themselves.

“I’m not here to judge you or try to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. I’m not gonna tell you life is all beauty and grace because it isn’t. It’s okay to be in pain but this is not the way to fix it. I just wanna help you.”

You shook your head. “No one can help me.”

“At least let me try,” he said gently.

“You don’t understand okay? It never stops hurting,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “It always hurts and it's this ache in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. No one told me that life was going to hurt, no one fucking told me! They say life isn’t fair, or that life may sometimes bring you down, but they never said that existing would be torture. And I don’t want to keep living if it’s going to hurt this much.”

You saw Bucky’s face fall and you shook your head. “Please just go - You weren’t supposed to see this.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather see you at your worst than not see you at all,” he said. “You don’t have to do this yourself. I know it may seem like you do but you don’t. You never had to, and you never will have to. You have me, us, the team - we’re all here for you but we can’t if you don’t let us. But I’m not leaving you. You’ve been alone for too long already.”

You felt a new lump in your throat, feeling overwhelmed. Trapped between death and your worst nightmare. You never wanted to be vulnerable, you never wanted to hurt anyone with your own pain. But hearing Bucky’s words, seeing the panic in his eyes -

You had already hurt him. And he was right - killing yourself was only going to hurt the team more.

But it just hurt so much.

You had heard it so many times - “think about the impact you’ll have on those you love”, or how “suicide is selfish” and shit - made you feel like a horrible person. Because you did care about everyone, you cared too much. And it wasn’t that you didn’t care about hurting them with your decision - it was just that the pain of staying alive began outweighing the fear of hurting those you loved.

And it was torture.

You wanted to say everything that was on your mind - scream and cry and curse the universe, you wanted to break something, you wanted to be hugged, held, and told it would be okay - you wanted to get everything out.

You didn’t want to be alone anymore.

You’ve been alone for too long already.

You let out a broken sob, knees going weak as Bucky caught you and pulled you into his chest, away from the edge.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said between sobs.

“I know you don’t, I know,” Bucky said, holding you tightly as if he feared you would disappear if he let you go.

Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt me was utter bullshit. Because the next words that came out of your mouth hurt Bucky more than anything HYDRA had done to him.

“Please just let me die. Why won’t you let me die? I just wanna die, please just let this be over.”

People didn’t realize what depression could do to a person. Someone who was full of life could end up like this. You don’t know what went wrong or when it happened, but you just felt absolutely broken inside. The kind of broken that can’t be fixed.

Bucky felt his heart shatter, tears falling down his own cheeks at how hopeless you had sounded. He had never been overly close with you, but you were always kind to everyone on the team. And the team had failed you by not noticing sooner.

“I’m gonna bring you inside okay?” Bucky said. You didn’t hear him, crying so hard that you couldn’t focus on anything else. He picked you up, carrying you back into the tower. Bucky brought you back to your room, sitting down on your bed with you. He rubbed a hand up and down your back, holding you tightly as he tried to help you calm down.

Exhaustion overtook you, your body becoming worn out from all of the crying and emotions. You never let your guard down like that in front of anyone, and shame began to overtake you.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that I’m so so sorry -”

“Don’t,” he started. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No one was supposed to know,” you whispered.

“Why not? What’s so bad about asking for help?”

You paused for a moment, unsure exactly why. “I don’t know - I just feel really weak sometimes?” you said, more of a question to yourself. “Like I know everyone needs help and shit but I didn’t have a reason to need it. It hurts but I don’t know why, I cry when I’m not sad, I just - I’m not in control of myself and I don’t know why and if I can’t explain it to myself then how am I supposed to talk to anyone about it?”

“That makes more sense than you think. All of us on the team, we all go through shit. We see so many horrible things, we’ve been through so many things. We all have something. You have this. It’s okay if you don’t know why you feel the way you do but hurting yourself isn’t going to help anything.”

“I know what it’s like, wanting a way out,” Bucky said and you immediately knew what he was talking about. “Days that I wished Pierce or Rumlolw or whoever would just finish me rather than punish me over and over. It wasn’t that I wanted to die, I just wanted it to stop.”

You looked at him. “I know. But what I didn’t know then was that it would end. I never thought it could ever end or that it would ever end, but it did. And if I had died back then I would’ve died only knowing that pain. I wouldn’t have known that it could get better or that it would. And I’m not saying everything is perfect now because it’s not. But it’s better than it was. Okay?”

You nodded, fresh tears spilling out of your eyes. You knew the torture that Bucky went through, everyone on the team did. It had taken him a long time to speak about it on his own and move through it. But he did.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” you said.

“Talking about it, getting it out is a great start. Talking about it never hurt anyone.” When you seemed a little apprehensive, Bucky added, “I felt alone for so long. Battling these thoughts and memories in my head. They never stopped. But when I started talking about it with someone, and they helped me work through it - I don’t know. It helped me a lot. It wasn’t just me and my thoughts anymore. I wasn’t alone.”

I wasn’t alone

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’m not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not I’m gonna be right here with you

These things rarely get better overnight. But maybe with someone else, they could get better a little bit quicker.

You gave a small nod. “Okay.”

---

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @thatfangirl42 @im-sick-of-failing @sup--ernova @peggycarter-steverogers @bucks-bunny @barnesplums @mardema @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @strawberrimae @broadwaybabe18 @sokovianheadtilt @daydreaming-lightly @onyourgoddamnleft @arkhamasylumresident

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[tendous-socks]

TOKYO REVENGERS HEADCANONS OF ME BEING NON BINARY / REACTING TO SOMEONE BEING NON BINARY

tw: ⚠️⚠️kisaki⚠️⚠️ and manga spoilers, mentions of death, transphobia,

would misgender and dead-name me

1.kisaki.

must i need an explanation?😐

2. shion

“ what’re you gonna do about it?? HUH?? WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT ???”

actively looks for a fight

… if y’all are in a relationship he’d still call you his “girl” but beats people up for doing so….

3. mucho

i get the vibes that he’s traditional

would silently stare in judgment

4. mochi

he just doesn’t care clslfkxkslk

thinks it’s weird

“ nor/mal”

7. rindou..

“you either have a pen or a vag. “

8.ran

“interesting”

*continues dead naming me*

9. KOKO

he would be nicer about it when he’s in toman due to inui… but once they’re separated- an ABSOLUTE MEANCE

… reluctantly apart of the protection squad with inui ( enjoys beating people up tho)

10. bontent mikey

… he’s just so tired and doesn’t really care ) that is if you’re not close with him… but then again how close can you really get?)

11. ) PAH CHIN

AND ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS IGNORANT AND HIS FATHER DIDN BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF AND HE DIDNT KNOW BUT THEN ( if y’all are close ) HE’D FEEL BAD AND AFTER YOU EXPLAINED IT TO HIM HE TOLD PEH CHIN TOO AND WERE SURPRISINGLY SUPPORTIVE

but if y’all ain’t close he would slowly get the hint… this is canon.

because i said so-

11. sanzu…

he’s quietly judging you

EDIT

SOMEONE SAID SANZU WOULD USE ANY PRONOUNS AND I REALLY LIKE THAT HC-

SO SANZU WOULD PROBABLY JUST ‘ SILENTLY JUDGE YOU’ SO OTHERS DONT CATCH ON MHMHM

12. akashi

traditional- plus it was a different era for him growing up so…

(would glare at someone if he really did see you getting emotionally distressed)

13. smiley

“ that’s one of the most stupidest shit ive ever fucking heard 😁”

.🙁

“ you either have tits or a dick “

.☹️

but would beat people up if you get SUPER upset ( call it his protect instincts with angry, but would send people to the hospital)

14. taiju

“ i wanna church girl who goes to church and reads her bible “

would spit at me

- WHO WOULD BEAT SOMEONE UP FOR DEAD-NAMING / MISGENDERING

1. PAH CHIN AND PEH YAN

THEYRE ABSOLUTE MENACES TO SOCIETY IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A GIRL / BOY

head canon : during tenjiku you were there and had to adjust your transtape cause it was coming lose 🙄

which is literally the most annoying thing in the world-

and shion saw you.

he came up and was like “ HUH WHAT’VE WE GOT HERE?? A GIRL PRETENDING TO BE A G-“

couldn’t even finish his sentence with how fast peh chin clocked his ass 🤭

( peh yan supremacy)

2. my main man takemichy

no explanation needed ( maybe deadnamed you only once cause he didn’t know)

3. inui cause i said so

5. BAJI BAJI

BAJI WOULD ALMOST KILL A DUDE FOR CALLING YOU YOUR DEAD NAME

i KNOW mama baji raised him right ✋🙄

almost clocked chifuyu when you told him about your first encounter kcksldofospdoco

almost clocked your mom when she said “you got it girlfriend”

she was confused when she saw you desperately trying to prevent the next criminal minds episode

best listener for body dystrophia fight me 🙉❤️

6. senju

*comes out*

“..oh okay! anyways as i was saying [preferred name] “

would need some gentle reminders only once or twice cause i will say it does take a bit of time for people to get used to it and there are always a few slip ups

tells akashi about your pronouns ( ONLY WITH YOUR CONSENT OFC)

( promises to try and be more girly if he calls you by them and your preferred name)

she wants you to go into more details about what you’re feeling cause she’s genuinely very interested about everything and she wants to know more about you.

7. emma 😻 vv supportive 🙌🙌

*sicks mikey and draken out on anyone who hurts your feelings

“you know [blah blah blah] from history?”

“of course yeah “

“yeah he ended up calling me slur during class- what’re you doing?”

*emma pulling out her phone

“hm? oh nothing don’t worry about it”

gave more insight about it to draken and mikey

8. HINA

YALL SAW HOW SHE SLAPPED MIKEY-

THIS GIRL WOULD D R A G A BITCH BY THEIR HAIR IF SHE SAW THEM BULLYING YOU

the one of correct takemichy

9. yuzuha

hina but 10x worse

trips transphobes for shit and giggles 🤪🤞

i like to think that the girls (all 4) would just all stare down a girl who was shit talking you and just pick her apart mercilessly ( a little ooc but this is my head canons so they can be whatever i say they are)

ones idk about

1. mikey

he knows that you can handle yourself so he lets you correct people.

or

sometimes he’ll jump in and correct them instead for one of two reasons.

1. he felt like it

2. they kept calling you your dead name and misgendering you EVEN THOUGH you already corrected them

but if the person ACTIVELY does that and says some… not so fruity things. he’ll send em to the hospital and end up on life support 😌☝️

like dom tertto, he cares about his family. and toman is his family, and you’re in toman ( not THAT kind of y/n way 🙄 )

“ BE WHO YOU AREE🌈🌈🌈🌈🤪🤞🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈”

1. draken

… listen… idk why, but i just don’t SEE him beating people up for misgendering me… well okay i kinda see it,

but he’d be like, “ i don’t understand what you’re going through, but i support you and if you want to talk about it i’m here”

wants to try and understand so like i said before, he lets you rant about what you’re feeling

would let you handle your own battles cause your strong enough to

a true king 😎🙌

does in fact throw punches when it gets REALLY BAD

2. angry

… idk h o w empathic he is and how mad he’d have to be on your behalf when people actively kept misgendering you to become the blue ogre.

but he’d just start crying at the confrontation.. 😐

my hero ig 🤥

3. izana

��� that’s fucking stupid”

*beats up middle aged woman who said for you to “ have a good day ma’am”

but if y’all close he’ll only say it’s stupid once when he sees you genuinely upset and ignoring him

“ be who you are.. 🌈”

4. kaku

same boat as izana, A LOT less judgmental

5. mitsuya

won’t hesitate to send a bitch flying

actively corrects people

( teaches luna and mana about your pronouns for the next time you come over 🕺🏻)

TAKES YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES

6. haitani brothers

*actively bullies you

*bullies kid into the grave for looking at your chest area

7. …hakkai

he accidentally slipped up once🤒

WHEN I SAY THIS MANS FACE WENT PALE- HE DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR A W E E K MINIUM CAUSE HE FELT SO BAD

YOU KEPT TELLING HIM THAT ITS FINE-

BUT HE FELT AWFUL

( has nightmares about it)

8. chifuyu would only do it in his mohawk era cause he wanted to seem metal and impress da boys 🥶🥶☝️☝️

pulled you aside at the end of the day to apologize

( like i said before, baji almost clocked him when you told him about your first encounter )

who am i kidding they’re all in gangs, they’d probably kill someone if they hurt you cospwpfoslief

——————

IF YALL GOT ANYMORE IDEAS LMK CAUSE IM INVESTED IN YHIS AND WANNA HEAR WHAT YALL THINK

[livingalifeofasimp]

Heyhey! I don’t know if I already requested this, and if I did I’m sorry I forgot. But I was wondering if you could write a yandere childe x reader where the reader has been abused. So when he kidnapps her the darling is kinda willing since she feels safe with him? What would childe do to her abuser? Thank you for your time :>

♚ Yandere Childe x Reader ♚

Thank you for your patience ❤️

Disclaimer : This content contains Yandere themes, if you are sensitive please refrain yourself from reading it. It's purely for entertainment purpose, arts are not mine credit to their respective owners.

❤️Childe interest sparkled in you probably when he saw you being nice and kind to everyone, how you made everyone happy. Always willing to give your helping hand to anyone who needs it, like the way you smile at people and try to make them feel comfortable. Childe wondered can someone actually be this good? Either way he wanted to talked to you. "I see a pretty lady here, wanna fight I can't seems to find anyone here and you don't have any company", you were surprised when a strange guy suddenly appeared and challenge you. Without wasting anytime you ran away feeling overwhelmed leaving Childe shocked "I just wanted to talk".

❤️As you were walking home after being tired from work wanting nothing more than to jump on your comfortable bed, you saw the same guy leaning against the wall, his eyes wandering around  in the ocean of people ,not wanting to get caughted by him you slowly turned your head and started walking away. After covering safe distance, you inverted your eyes to where the previous stranger was standing but he wasn't there, good grief then suddenly you felt someone behind you whispering in your ears "I bet you are looking for me", flinching you turned around scared, seeing you so afraid of him, Childe quickly apologized "Oh forgive me I shouldn't have appeared like this", "Ah no it's alright", as polite as ever Childe thought smiling. "How about a drink? my treat", and waited for your permission to hold your hands.

❤️"Oi your are late", Childe flicked your forehead, holding your head you answered breathing unevenly "I am so sorry, I just got so busy, I won't be late next time", you nervously laughed as Childe got annoyed with all those people who take advantage of your kindness. He pated your head and walked towards the table since you both decided to have dinner together tonight. You passed a dish towards Childe "Ain't you spoiling me", "No way I know that's your favorite", showing you his infamous smile he holded your hand with his two "I don't even know what I will do without", your laugh and Childe's favorite moment was ended by a guy who intruped in between.

❤️"Hey Y/N what are you doing here? you promised me to help with my work", as you tried to recall you heard Childe growling. "How about you do your own work, you got your own hands right? Or should I cut them off" something in Childe's voice warned the guy to not bother you again if he don't want to die. "Childe why did you do that?" You stood up to ran after him only to be pulled back by Childe. "Why are you going behind him? Why are you so good to people even though they do bad to you, I don't like him I know I shouldn't ask you such but I just don't want you to get hurt and that guy he is so fishy". Sighing you sat down again, maybe you need some free time "Alright", his smile changed the dark aura from surrounding to brighter ones. Not caring about the world and pressure to impress people feels good at least with Childe you can be how you really are he never judges you, even tho he can be jerk sometimes.

❤️While collecting some flowers Childe thought about you oh how happy would you be to see the flowers he is gonna bring to you. Near your house he saw a different guy flirting with you. Even if it was just a normal talk Childe was afraid that they would try to take you away since you are so good, caring and comforting people with your presence. Of course everyone will try to take you away but they will never know how to take care of you like he does. You are so pretty and caring such an angel that one of kind a girl who is perfect for him. Childe's last string to sanity was cut off when he saw them making you laugh, his jealousy and possessiveness clouding his decision. You are his, he only wants to be the only you love, imagining you with someone else burns his heart making him want to to go insane, the obsession and love he have for you made him take you away from the selfish world he is confident he can take care of you and your interests.

❤️You woke up finding yourself into a room that is decorated with all the expensive items whatever it is, this isn't your room panic rised in you chest as you jumped down the bed knocking on the door with all your force. On hearing the noise Childe unlocked the room, he realized that you calmed down after seeing his face, fluttered his heart "Child you are here, did I passed out anyways thank you so much for helping me", you said passing through him when you felt yourself being lifted up by strong arms and gently putting you in bed.

❤️"Y/N stay here", "Childe I appreciate this but I need to go I think I am good now", he pinned your hands on bed. "You are going to stay here and that's what I have decided", Childe said with his low voice binding your wrist to the chain attached to the bed post. You clearly were confused is this some kind of prank, he is capable of doing that. Your watched his movement, stroking your cheeks "How happy I am, you don't know", everything about him felt sick and foreign something is definitely wrong. "Re-remove this chain, why isn't it coming out? You said stuttering trying to remove chains."Childe its wrong don't do this".

❤️After rejecting Childe for almost a week you realized that he gives you all the love and affection one desires. He provided you with everything that you needed making you feel protected and happy, you were allowed to roam inside resident that he owned sometimes Childe does get paranoid but finds you in garden admiring the flowers. It was everything Childe ever wanted, he was the best he could ever ask for in his life, when he realized his darling loves him back and returns his hugs and kisses it's makes him smile like a happy toddler. He opened the doors of your room only to find you crying frustratedly did you had a nightmare? He rushed towards your curled up form, to comfort you and to protect you from them. He asked you what could possibly make you feel like this?

❤️ Instead you cried even more seeing you in this form made him really sad. Childe hugged you, letting you crying on his shoulder while his hands ran through your hair. He pated your back softly making you feel calm and forced you into telling him everything. Childe's face turned pale how can someone hurt you this bad? Marks on you skin he failed to realize it was given by your abuser? How could someone-? They are wishing for death ain't they and now it's going to be granted. His gorgeous s/o was hurt by them, they are going to taste cruelty, he wondered if he should skin them alive or kill them slowly. Childe's attention shifted on you, you were crying he wiped your tears "I am always here for you no one can harm you or else they will not go unharmed you will always be protected my love", he kissed your forehead slowly tugging you back in bed. You holded his hands close to your face and he hummed you a soft song filling you with positive yet comforting affirmations. 

❤️It took Childe no time to find those jerks who hurt his s/o due to his connection and a sweet tongue someone will die a brutal death tonight, after wiping their disgusting blood off his face. Childe smiled now his darling can sleep peacefully, she must be waiting for him. He felt happy truly.

[star-anise]

Thank you for your reply. My ask was kind of all over the place. (I've done some dbt before with a previous therapist and it helped! But that therapist was not a good fit I'm at a new one now tho).

Random thing, you mentioned bpd I heard in my abnormal psychology class that a lot of therapists won't treat someone diagnosed with bpd??? It was the teacher who is a grad student studying to be a therapist who said it. And like. I don't understand. They sound like a very in need population who was often abused and there's a whole huge book of treatment resources written by someone with bpd. I've heard they're "hard to treat" and talked about like they're hopeless. but like why be a mental health professional if you don't like mentally ill/different people?

This is also the same professor who insisted trauma is only the few things listed under dsm ptsd definition as traumatic events.. like she said parents getting divorced isn't a traumatic event because you aren't physically in danger... that class really scared me about the mental health field because of all the awful people in it aspiring to be therapists including the teacher.

Sorry for all the asks I love the work you do on this blog

Ahahaha, what IS it about undergrad abnormal psych professors? Mine said he wouldn't touch clinical practice with a ten-foot pole, and told a story about how once a student told him she had schizophrenia, and he knew that she was lying because obviously nobody with schizophrenia could actually manage to attend university.

(It's seriously untrue. I've had both friends and clients with psychotic disorders who succeeded in university. He was being an ableist bastard. Like, I know psych students can tend to over-identify with a disorder they're studying without actually having it, but that doesn't mean no psych student is ever entirely correct about their deal.)

Okay so, BPD. The thing about BPD is that it requires a special skillset that does not come standard in most clinical training. If a therapist who doesn't have that skillset tries to treat someone with BPD, the therapy will not be very effective and the process will be very frustrating for both them and their client. To be very frank, it's just as true that ordinary therapists are bad at treating BPD and don't like feeling stupid, as it is that people with BPD are hard to treat.

(And training to deal with people with BPD clinically is often not included in grad school education. DBT training is expensive and they won't accept you unless you have an adequate clinical placement.)

Also, part of dealing with BPD in particular is... people with BPD often have trouble seeing authority figures with anything more nuanced than "adoration and compliance" or "fear and loathing". As a therapist, you're signing up as an authority figure. Part of the work means letting your client express all their feelings about you, and helping them work to something more nuanced and sustainable, like, "I am furious and enraged that I'm in pain and I wish my therapist could take that pain away, but I realize that's not within her power. I have to admit that she's not being an evil villain here, so I can feel my resentment but let it go."

Which can be stressful to deal with, as a therapist. You have to live with a lot of hurt and anger and rage headed your way, and keep your perspective. Be empathetic without getting carried away in those emotions. You have to be able to face that pain and say, "I can't take that away. I can only help you learn to bear it."

Basically everyone I know in grad school had a nervous breakdown somewhere along the line because we go to therapist school because we're smart and capable and feel good about helping people, so when we encounter a person we can't help, or are put in situations where we have to stop helping, we tend to have existential crises and end up sobbing in the student lounge about What Am I Even Good For Now. I was lucky because I had a version of that breakdown before I entered grad school, and my therapist warned me to get a new shrink when I moved for my Master's, "Because if you don't need one at the beginning, you'll definitely need one by the end." So I was more equipped to help classmates for whom this was a wholly new experience.

In my opinion, the healthy way to approach the problem of A Person You're Not Good At Helping is to practice humility, set reasonable boundaries, recognize the limits of your competence, and see where you can learn and grow. But many therapists and helping professionals use what I consider to be an unhealthy approach, labelling such clients as "defensive" and "resistant" and "hard to treat" and blaming them for the difficulty.

Which like, I get that "practicing humility" is like "doing exercise", sometimes you're tired and cranky and don't want to go for a run. Sometimes you just want to blame the other person for not accepting your magnanimous help.

Anyway, within the field of mental health psychotherapy, complex trauma is a unique sub-speciality that many therapists don't want to touch at all. I had many classmates say, "Woof, you're into complex trauma? You must be so tough, I could never." 🙄

(Technically I have the ethical obligation to represent my profession in the best possible light to encourage public confidence in the field of psychotherapy. But I think it's not undermining the profession to admit what everyone already knows, which is that some therapists are oblivious assholes who do bad work. I've seen it, I've met them, I want them to piss off forever. Jordan Peterson is a blight to our names and Phil McGraw can go choke.)

So people who are on your wavelength about BPD and trauma and What Therapists Are For are out there. They're just a little rarer than the usual run of therapists. For what it's worth, I've found they cluster more in areas like complex trauma, DBT, Narrative Therapy, and the Hearing Voices Movement. Next year (knock on wood) I'l be going to a conference on the treatment of complex trauma with a friend, and this sounds weird given that it's a weekend all about child maltreatment, but I expect it to be a blast, because I'll get to be among My People, talking about the work that fills our souls.

I really wish that as an undergrad, I'd spent more time hanging out with Social Work students, and going to conferences and trainings. Those are where I met some of the coolest people I really clicked with. And in grad school, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting other people who were a lot like me. Those friendships were especially rewarding because as skilled helpers, we ended up playing a game of Needs Chicken, where each tries hide their own needs and caretake for the other, which finally ended up in a standoff where we had to agree to put down our caretaking skills and just be honest about what we wanted, even if that felt new and scary and raw.

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[jeo9n]

Majesty || JJK

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre : Angst,fluff,smut,King Jungkook

Warnings : angst, future smut, reader is like rlly shy:/, mean jungkook, virgin reader.

this is my first fanfic pls be nice to me🥺 also let me know if i made any mistakes.

next

Growing up poor was never easy. ever since my siblings and I were younger our mom tried everything to provide a good life for us. Her being a single mom of 3 children and having to work all the time was rough. Nonetheless our mom made sure we had a good childhood. As i grew older i started noticing how hard our mom worked for us. I wanted to start working too so our mom could get a little rest. So I started working at small bakery in our small village even tho I didn’t really liked it there.   

My two older brother’s were already married and had a family of their own and had long since moved out. My mom wanted me to get married really bad. She kept on looking for a potential husband for me, but none of them would ever chose me to as their wife. And i was honestly happy about that. The idea of marrying some stranger and leaving my mom behind wasn’t something that I wanted to do. But I knew I had to get married eventually.

There were some news going around that a new mysterious King was looking for a wife. flyers have been passed around for a "potential wife competition“ here and there, who would even attend such a thing? anyway, that’s all that was being talked about in the village young girls being excited for potentially marrying a King and becoming his wife. I honestly felt bad for them. Why would a King even marry a poor girl when he could marry a girl that came from a more wealthier family?

A few days have passed and the day for the competition was becoming nearer and nearer. As i was walking home from the small Bakery that I work at with some baked goods for my mom and I, I could see every mom going crazy for the upcoming day, every mom made sure that their daughter looked the absolute best. In hopes that the King takes interest in one of these girls. As i reached home my mom greeted me with a hug. „how was work?“ she asked „good i brought something to eat“ i said as i handed her the basket i was holding with a smile on my face. She took them and put them on a plate for us to eat. „so have you heard the news?“ she asked „what do you mean? What news?“ I asked her with a confused look on my face „you know what news“ she said while sipping on her tea. „The King is looking for a wife.... and I was wondering since you’re still not married and probably won’t be for a while why don’t you.... participate in the competition?“ she looked at me with a hopeful look on her face „Mom no. I don’t want to participate in such a thing.“ i said while munching on my croissant. „You know Y/n I don’t think it would be a such bad thing, both of your brothers are already married and have a family of their own, don’t you want the same thing?“ she asked. Well, i do want a family... but i want to find my Partner naturally not at a competition with thousands of other girls.

„I don’t even know what he looks like mom for all we know, he could be some old disgusting looking guy that has a fetish for younger girls“ I said with a look of disgust on my face. „Well, yeah, your right“ she said. „But he could also be some good looking guy but if you don’t participate, we’ll never know...“ she said while finishing her cup of tea. Okay maybe she’s right and it won’t be such a bad thing... participating won’t hurt right? Because my mom was right it’s time for me to get married. „ I‘ll think about it okay? Im gonna go head to bed now tho i’m really tired. goodnight mom.“ I said while giving her a kiss on her cheek. „thank you sweetheart.“ I heard her saying as i was walking to my room.

The day of the competition came sooner than i thought it would. My mom kept on bugging me to say yes so I eventually agreed to attending the competition. Ever since then my mom made sure i looked my absolute best. She bought me a long white nice looking dress, made sure that my hair always looked shiny and healthy. And i honestly felt so pretty my dress hugged my figure so nicely and my hair looked so beautiful all thanks to my mom. „You look so beautiful y/n i’ll miss you so much“ she said with tears in her eyes, as if i won’t come back home with her later tonight. „Relax mom it’s not like i’m getting married or something.“ I said while giggling. „Well you might“ she said with a big smile on her face. „I won’t.“ I said while rolling my eyes but she just looked at me with that smile still on her face. „Come on we don’t wanna be late“ she said while grabbing my hand, and leading me to where the competition was gonna be held.

Almost an hour later my mom and I arrived at this huge building. It was one of the biggest building i have ever seen. There were so many pretty flowers surrounding it, I was in awe at the sight that was in front of me. As i was looking around i noticed all the other girls and started feeling a little self conscious... they all looked so pretty with their colorful dresses while I was here wearing a boring white dress. How would I even stand out among all these girls? I doubt the King would even look at me.

An old Man with a smile on his face started approaching us „good evening ladies you all look beautiful i must say.“ He said with a big smile on his face. „ I know the weather is beautiful today but the King would rather have all you girls inside“ he said, while stretching his arm out pointing to the building. „let’s go ladies“ he started walking towards the entrance and we all followed him.

The room itself where the competition was being held wasn’t that big as I thought. But the old man told us it’s because, the King wanted to get a close look at us. So, he chose a smaller room so he could look at all of us more closely. ...I was so nervous my hands were trembling and i kept picking at my nails a habit of mine that i never got rid of. Even tho my mom told me stop many times. All the other girls seemed to be not as nervous as I was. They were all taking to each other, except for me I stayed by myself sat at a table. I didn’t feel like talking, I was way too shy to approach any of them anyway.

30 minutes later the King arrived. The doors to the room have opened, and the King and the older man from earlier started walking inside. There were gasps coming from all the girls, as soon as they saw his face. I was at the back so I wasnt able to see his face yet, but I once I did My eyes widened and my heart started beating faster. He was probably one of the prettiest man I have ever seen. He had a such flawless good looking face. Everything about him was perfect, he was tall, his eyes were pretty, his nose looked pretty, even his dark hair was pretty. It was slicked back with only on strand hanging in his face. Truly flawless. He was stood at the center of the room wearing a white suit with gold details on it. He looked around the room looking at every girl carefully. With the older man right beside him, his eyes wandered around the room and they found mine. I immediately looked away once we made eye contact, I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes. I felt myself blushing. Once I thought he looked away, I looked at him again but he was still looking at me. And I wondered why? Am I not pretty enough? Does he think I don’t belong in a place like this? The older man beside him started coughed and he eventually looked away.

The older man started introducing the King to us. „Ladies this is Jeon Jungkook King of Aramella“ he said. And we all bowed to greet him. „As u all know the King is here today, to find a Wife, that can fulfill his wishes and dreams and stay by his side till the rest of your lives. So, if u think you would be his perfect wife, than please step forward.“ the older man said.

And all the girls immediately stepped forward. Well, except for me. I didn’t have enough confidence in me to step forward.

The Kings eyes wandered around once again. He looked at every girl in front of him that stepped forward. But soon his eyes found mine again and he looked at me with furrowed brows.

„Why aren’t you stepping forward?“ he asked me with a cold tone to his voice. And suddenly everyone turned around to look at me.

stay tuned for part two. ☺️

[dianagj-art]

MIPHA! MIPHA! MIPHA!

I tried to do more of the screenshot/cinematic kinds look but I gave up and just bullshited the backgrounds bc I didn't wanted to look so plain but I also didn't want to do a background

anyways Mipha is here! it's Mipha time!

(Friendly remainder that what's bellow is just copy paste from my draft and there's probably a lot of typos and gramar mistakes)

More of Yiga Link AU

<Previous / next>

A group of young Zoras finds Link's body sinking on the river, south of the Minish Woods. They take him out to land and check on him, he is barely alive and they quickly take him all the way to Zora's domain. They send the fastest of them first to inform the princess and she meets them halfway.

Link's wounds are bad, but she still can heal him, they take him to the domain to keep an eye on him, besides he is still uncouncious. They set him up on that little area for other species when they visit, and Mipha had other healers take a proper look at him.

The princess buys him clothes from a merchant since his are barely existent with so many cuts. The zora recognize those cuts, they know the boy was on a Yiga attack and unfortunately, they find his tattoo behind his neck.

They are not idiots and they fear the boy might be a spy and all was just a set up, the princess still wants to talk to him. Mipha was no fool and she wasn't as naive as most people outside the Domain may think, but she was curious, and there was a feeling in her chest that told her there was more to know about this boy.

Link wakes up in unknown clothes, he has no idea of where he is but soon finds out as he started to look around. He remembers what happened and a hand grips his chest. He knows he shouldn't be alive.

"That was terrible wound you had there," The voice startled him and he instantly stood up to go into combat mode. "Don't stand, you are not fully healed yet." he really didn't have another option, there wasn't a part of his body that did't hurt and the pain brough him down to the bed again.

He looked up to see 3 zoras, two tall ones dressed in armor flanquing a smaller one in shinny red scales and dressed in zora jewerly. The princess.

"Don't be sacred" she said and gestured to her guards to stay put as she walked to him, "I just came to look on your wounds"

Link frowned at that, the princess? Coming here to check on a stanger's wounds? Yeah sure. Link remembers his tattoo and quickly hides it with a simple illution spell that wouldn't take that much of his stenght.

"Dont you have healers for that?" he asked coldly.

The princess laughed lightly "Yes," she admitted and stood by his bed, her amrs behind her body, holding her spear "and they know more about hylian anathomy than I do, but they can't do what i can. Your wounds were bad enough to require my assistance."

Link frowned again, "what does that mean?"

Mipha smiled and gestured at the bed, "Can I?" Link recoiled his legs, leting her space to sit down, the princess did, leaving her spead resting on the bed besides her, she extended her hand to him, "give me your arm" she said softly.

Link hessitaded but he rested his arm on her hand. She carefully took off his bandages and let exposed a deep cut on his forearm, the boy winced at the sight.

The princess then put her other hand above the wound and closed her eyes. Her palm started to glow and link gasped loudly. His arm started to feel cold and a bit numb, but the pain was gone, and soon the same sensation washed over his body. It was nice.

Mipha was focused on the wound but she looked up for a moment to catch his expresion, she smiled lightly and looked down again.

The light coming from her palm dimmed until it was gone and his exposed wound wasn't there anymore. Slowly, the pain came back to the rest of his body. Mipha let go off his hand and he lifted his arm to his eye level, twisting it one way and another, trying to see the trick but no, the wound was really gone.

"You... You really have healing powers..." he had herd the rumors but no yiga had actually seen it, just heard things from other people.

Mipha hummed a laugh, catching link's atention, "Outsiders are always so surprissed to see it" she stood up, taking the spear again, "I have other things to attend, but i'll come back to heal the rest of your wounds latter."

She leaves with her guards, a few minutes latter another group of zoras show up. Two of them check on his wounds and tell him to rest while the other two just guarded the entrance. He had a bad feeling, whenever he peeked an eye to the other room he saw a guard. He didn't know if that was normal or if it was because of him.

He rests, too tired to try and transport, and fully knowing that in this state he wouldn't be able to fight. He starts trying to form a plan to get out of there. Taking a swim was not an option, anywhere near water he would be an at disadvantage. He had to make it to the montains that sorrounded Zora's Domain, he could take a run for it once he were back to his feet, he had no idea if zoras were fast runners but they had short legs, he was sure he could outrun them. Once close to the montains he could teletrasnport himself to a higher place and away from them.

Tho he didn't know where to go from there. It's not like he could go back to the Hideout.

Mipha comes back that evening and heals two more of his wounds before leaving. Link is starting to think that maybe her healing magic tires him as much as illutions and trasportation tires him. It takes a few days for him to be fully healed, all the time he is forced to stay on the rooms to "rest"

All the time he feels uncomfortable, he feels watched. It gets worse when he is fully healed and the princess wants to give him a little tour around the domain, everyone always stares at him, or maybe they are looking at their princess and he was just being paranoid.

He had never been to Zora's domain, to be honest, he hadn't seen that much of Hyrule, and he was intrigued to see and learn more.

As they start to walk around the Domain a little red-scaled Zora runs to her and hugs her leg "Sidon!"

"I'm sorry princess," another Zora runs to her, "he's been running away the whole day, he doesn't wan't to do the jump"

"If you don't jump how am I going to teach you to climb waterfalls?" Mipha asked him and he just hugged her tighter, hiding behind her from his instructor.

Link quickly put two and two together and figures out he must be the young Zora Prince, but he was most concerned with the idea forming on his mind. Would they follow him if he jumped? He eyed an opening on the level they were on, and without really thinking about the heigh he kneeled down

"If I jump would you jump?" he asked Siron, "I can't swim as well as a zora would, so if i can make that jump I guess a zora prince would have no trouble doing it, right?"

Siron thinks for a moment then nods. Link walks to the edge and looks down to the long drop. "Having second thoughts?" Sidon's instructor asked him. Link just frowns at him, and takes a few steps back, he took off his shirt and dropped it before sprinting and jumping.

He hits the water gracefully and as he sinks he prapares to transport, but sees a lot of Zoras around him. He sees that at the bottom of the lake there's a whole underwater town that probably outstretched fartest of what he could see. He goes out to the surface and finds it quite hard to not let the current take him away, even when he was under their castle as there were underwater walls shielding him from the strong current of the main water fall of the domain. A few zora heads pop out, looking at him curious. Some heads look younger, maybe teens? And look at him impressed and exited

"SIDON!" Link lifts his gaze and sees someone had jump and the tiny zora splashed in the water. He looks around but the zora prince doesnt come out.

"OW!" something bites his toes and a tiny shark head pops out, sidon smiles with sharp teeth and giggles until the current starts to drag him out. Link lets him, surely other people would help their prince. But they dont they just look, and as much as the tiny zora tried the current kept draging him.

Link reaches out a hand and takes him, wraping his scaly hands around his neck as he swims to the base of the castle structure. He leaves sidon on the rock and climbs up too.

Mipha's head pops out behind him, "you swim quite well for a hylian" Link jumps in surprise, when had she jump? he didnt even see or hear her splash, "You are bleeding," she said and he lifted his feet off the water to see quite a deep bite. "SIDON!" mipha screams distressed, "how many times do i have to tell you it's impropper to bite others!" she lifted herself to the place they were sitting and patted the space between link and her, he puts there his feet and she healed him. As always he stared at her hand facinated.

"I have to thank you, for not letting the curent carry Sidon" she said, "you shouldn't have to, he is 23, he should be strong enough to be able to withstand it." link looks at sidon as he jumps into the water again swiming closer to the rocks. 23? "but I would have done the same" "and thank you for jumping, her instructor had been trying to make him jump all week"

Link looks at his foot and thinks of all the other wounds he had, all the wounds the yiga had made. "I should thank you," he said, "I should be dead. You saved me."

"those wounds were no accident, were they?" she asked, "the yiga were sent to kill you" Link nods, "but why?" he sruggs.

"I have to leave," he said softly, "but i'll hate to leave without paying back what you have done for me,"

Mipha smiles, "I'm sure we'll think of somehting," she stands up, "I know a place you can stay meanwhile. Sidon! Lets go!" he swims to them, his little back fin braking the surface, he jumps towards Link, mouth open. Link backs up but Mipha catches him on the air and hums a laugh. "I'll meet you at the top," she said to link and pointed over his shoulder "you can use the leadder to climb up."

Mipha swims up the waterfall they just jumped from with sidon on her back. They meet at the top and Mipha leaves sidon with his instructor. He runs to link when he shows up and tries to bite his leg, "My prince, dont do that!" the instructor pulls him away before he can do damage and sidon smiles with his spiky teeth.

"I have to apologyze for his behavior," Mipha said tho she is trying not to laugh, "His new teeth just came out and he has a need to bite eveything."

They walk to a village at the top of the mountain overseeing zora's Domain. Mipha pays him a night to stay and tells him good bye. Link is bafled that she has so much trust in him, he plans on just leaving, but he has a chance. He now knew and gained the trust of two zora royals. He knew they were the only heirs of the zora domain and since the king didn't had a mate... He could make a move. And maybe, he could be allowed back with his people.

[booksweet]

Real

Starring: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

Synopsis: what If your favorite character became real the moment you needed the most?

Contents: fluffy, probably shibuya incident arc spoilers (not too much), grammar mistakes

word count: 1.368

A/N: helloo, guys! It's Friday and the time has come for me to post again! This story came up because I'm reading (suffering) shibuya incident arc since Monday and it's been HARD, so it may be the aftereffects of 20 chapters read and a lot of crying and sobbing. Hope you like it!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

main navi | masterlist

She was laying on her bed, not really in a peacefully way once she was reading one of her favorite stories and all the plot was driving her to hell and back. She knew it would be bad, it would be terrible, but no one warned her it was THAT BAD. She couldn't help but just cry after all that happened, she felt his pain and hurt through the pages, even though he was the strongest, he was still human. He was still capable of feeling sadness, pain, and grief.

She knew he was just a fictional character, but to her he was more. She loved him in a way she wished he was real, he was a fictional character tho, and hardly he would become real.

Still, she loved Gojo Satoru with all her heart, evertyhing in him enchanted her, from how he cared about his students to his cocky personality. She knew that her friends couldn't understand how much she cared about him, he didn't even exist, how could he affect her in so many ways?

Yet, there she was, wrapped in the sheets of her bed and in her pajamas while reading that manga, thank God it was late night and she was alone at home, otherwise someone would have come by to check her out - and the person would have a little surprise, seeing her with watery eyes and her red stuffy nose. How come just an arc like this one destroy her like that? How come?

"I can't read it anymore" She mumbled, leaving out a soft sneeze. "I'll finish it tomorrow. This arc is going to be my end."

And after pressing slightly the tip of her nose, she fell asleep slowly, head laying on her pillows, driving her to unknown dream places related to what happened to Gojo and the odd future of shibuya incident arc.

"Who are you?" she heard the voice before open her eyes, she felt a sweet air cherishing her face telling that there was someone closer to her. The first thing she thought was that seh was still sleeping and she was dreaming vividly.

How come I can feel anyone like this? She thought in panic. A man trespassed my house and he is in my room, I'm alone...

"Won't you open your eyes? I know you're awake" He said softly seeming to feel her fear. "I really need some answers, and you're the only one I have."

She almost yelled once she opened her eyes. Almost. Screaming requires air in her lungs, air that ran out of her when she looked at him. A man who was pretty much similar to her favorite character... Gojo? Satoru?

"This must be a dream, I am dreaming" She closed her eyes again, sheets upon her face. "This must be a dream, he's a fictional character-"

"Uh... I'm not?" He said and she could hear confusion in his tone. "Last time I checked, I'm a man in bone and flesh."

"Oh, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming..." She pinched her arms, her cheeks, but she wouldn't wake. "Why am I not wakening?"

"Is this... because... you are already awake?" he said, and she looked at him again. Still not believing her eyes. It's not been a long time since she was crying over his sealing at the prison realm and now this?

"How?" She was out of words, the one she... loves? Her comfort character was right beside her as confused as ever, and handsome as hell. "You're more beautiful in person..." She mumbled.

"First: Yes, I am." He said with a smirk growing on his face, eyes still covered by his blindfold. "Second: I don't really know what happened, I thought this was the prison realm, but..." He pinched the tip of his nose with frustation and then looked at her, she felt her body warming as he was fully concentrated on her. "Prison realm only accepts one prisoner by turn, so once I saw you sleeping there, I realized I wasn't really trapped in there. Then where am I? Who are you?"

"O-oh I'm-" She tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out, stuttering as she was right now. She shook her head, If this is real, I have to recompose myself. "I'm Y/N and... I don't know how to explain either, but you came into my word from that little book over there" His head turned out to the manga she put on her desk before sleeping. He kept staring it for a while in silence. And an unease feeling was rising down her throat. "Say something, please."

"To be honest, this is the first time I actually have nothing to say," the sound of his voice was a muffled noise. "Last thing I remember before appearing here I was in Shibuya, fighting and..." His body became stiff as a rock, the memories were hiting him like waves, waves of sadness and hurt.

"Yeah, I know..." And she really knew, in some ways, she felt his pain, and cried because of his broken eyes and she saw him realizing Getou's body was stolen, his best friend's body.

Here they were again in this obnoxious silence, she felt sadness arising from him. She coudn't take it. If this was real, she would do something to him try to forget the pain. Even if it is just for a moment.

"Hey," she called him, taking him out of his reveries. "Wanna go downstairs to have breakfast? You seem hungry." A smile started to grow wild upon his face, and she never felt such joy.

"I was thinking you'd never ask!" He stood up in a wink of an eye, and Oh God he is tall. "I'm going first, I see you need to change your clothes." Her face became red like a tomato, remembering she was still on her pajamas all this time, the shock made her forget about it. "Unless you want me to stay..." She tried to threw her pillow on him, but he was faster and a loud sound came from the closed door. Why was her heart beating so fast?

"So, how are you?" She tried to catch his attention once more. After she showered, reality came punching her in her face. It wasn't a dream, Gojo Satoru was real and he was at her home, drinking coffee with her. She tightened her hand's grip on her mug while waiting for his aswer. It was hard to resist trying pass her thingers through his white hair, touch his clothes, his arms just to prove once more his was real indeed.

"I don't know exactly" he said with a strange voice, Is he tired? She thought. "I'm not trapped at the prison realm, but at here. I still can't help the ones I care so... Yeah, I-"

A sudden hug made him stop with his words, she mindlessly held her arms around his torso, hugging him tight with tear in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She coudn't stop apologizing, he probably wouldn't understand but Who cares? He mattered to her, she didn't mind anything else.

"Y/N..."He held her back, arms around her shoulders and waist. It's so warm. "You don't need to..."

"But I feel to." She stopped again what he was saying. "I can feel your sadness from here, I can feel your pain. I don't know what's happening for you to come here, but still I care about you. I cared about even without known this would happen. And now, I'm caring more and more because I know you are real."

After a moment of silence that seemed like hours, he left out a soft smile "Okay, let me hug you then". With his right hand, he took off his blindfold and she was blessed by his stunning blue eyes. Eyes that can see everything. I could easily get lost...

"Then I will be here to find you again" He said hugging her tighter than ever, the smell of black coffee surrounding them. "I still don't know what I am doing here and why, but I know that if I'm with you, we'll discover it sooner than you think."

Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome 💛 Thanks for reading

[diofasolia]

{Always}

{Shattered! Dream x Reader}

Shattered! Dream by @shattereddreamsau

Writings by me

Today (8/7) is Shattered! Dream's birthday and I decided to post a writing I did last year—which is also the reason why I eventually join in the tumblr

Because back when I wrote this story, I found Dark Cream comic, which made by amazing @zu-is-here

Her creations give me the inspiration for the writing

The story is long (it has like 2000 words in it) and may be a bit cheesy, but I'll be happy to know if you read the whole thing (◡ ω ◡)

******

Before the story start, I want to ask you a question.

   Do you believe that the worst person can change?

   Oh! How awkward, sorry, I ask the wrong question.

   What I meant to ask is—

   Do you believe that the best person, the kindest person in the world can change?

   Maybe…all it needs is a tiny push?

   The harsh whipping hits in my abdomen again. I kneel on the ground, thinking how deep the scar might be from that blow.

   "What're you doing!? Look at your king when I'm talking to you! Such a piece of useless trash!!"

   "I apologized, My Lord."

   Raising my bruised neck, I gaze at the former guardian of positivity. Those eyes that used to hold the tenderness, now only fill up with hatred.

   "Where're those fricking basters!? I told you to track down my brother and other Sanses!"

   "I'm sorry, My Lord. They escaped. I can't find where their location is–"

   Not even waiting for my sentence finished, another powerful punch land on my face. I watch as a tooth fall out of my mouth. Blood dripping down my chin.

   "Worthless! Can't even do a little task like that!"

   Multiple kicks and insults throw at me. The numb feeling slowly occurs in my torso as I curling up into a ball.

   Closing my eyes, the memories from the past arises in my mind, bringing me back to the day that I seal my fate.

   "Dream? Earth to Dream!"

   "(Y/N)? What's wrong, love?"

   "What's wrong? I've called your name for five times! But you didn't answer to me."

   Dream scratches the back of his skull, looking a bit embarrassed.

   "Is that so? I'm sorry, (Y/N)! It won't happen again, I swear!"

   I cuddle Dream close, letting out a giggle.

   "It's fine! I don't really mind it. But Dream, you tend to space out recently. Is there something on your mind? You can tell me everything, you know that, right?"

   Giving me a kiss on the cheek, Dream smiles gently. He assures me that there's nothing to worry about. It’s just the task of guardian makes him a little exhausted.

   "Well, if that's the case, go on and get some rest! I will inform you if something was up."

   "Okay! Thanks, (Y/N), I'm glad I have you by my side."

   "Me too, my dreams and hopes."

   It's been quiet in Dream's room. He must be very tired. I knock on his bedroom door, telling him to wake up.

   "Dream, I know you're tired. But you still need to eat."

   "Dream? Are you awake yet?"

   There's no answer.

   Guess I’ll have to get into his room.

   Yet no one is there, only an opening portal hanging in the air.

   A portal leads to Dream's corrupted universe.

   "I'll show you, brother. I know what you're feeling…I know what you're going through…"

   "No! Dream, stop!! You don't know what you're doing!!"

    Two vague voices shouting in the distance. I begin to run like my life is in danger.

    What the heck is going on here?

    What is this dreadful feeling?!

   I'm too slow.

    The half bitten black apple lay on the ground. I watch in horror as the small tendrils creeping out Dream's eye sockets. His painful screech rings in my ears.

   "Dream!!!"

    I reach out to him, hoping that I can comfort Dream in my arms. The positive energy…they gotta do something, right?

   "What…? Nightmare! Let go of me!! I need to…to get Dream!!"

   "No! You can't get near him now, (Y/N)! You'll…you'll get hurt!"

    I thrash in Nightmare's hold, screaming at the top of my lungs.

   "Dream!! No! Dream!!!"

   "What's wrong, love?"

   My teary eyes stare up, it's…Dream's voice.

   But it sends an unknown coldness down my spine.

   "Ahh, you're crying! Good, keep doing that."

   A sadistic grin spreads on Dream's face.

   "I love it."

   Nightmare is already sobbing, begging for his beloved brother to come back. I walk step by step to Dream, putting on the best smile I can muster.

   "My love…Dream…please, come back to me…! I love you. I know you're strong enough to resist those negative feelings…"

   Dream cackles loudly. The tentacles wrap tightly around my neck, pulling me closer to him.

   "Go back? To my weak self? (Y/N), when did you become stupid? Why would I do that?"

   "I've already past the point of no return."

   A bucket of freezing water splashes on me. I must have passed out during the abusing session.

   "Wake up."

   "Get clean up, we're leaving."

   I pick up my sore body, stumbling across the lonely hall that me and Dream live in. There's no one here except the two of us.

   "Make a choice, (Y/N). Will you join me? Or will you prefer to disobey me like my coward brother?"

   "I'll go with you."

   I want to weep, yet I can’t even shed a single tear. I shouldn't be upset. After all, it's me who decided to follow my corrupted lover.

   Filling up the bathtub, I submerge myself in the steamy water.

   "Why, (Y/N)!? Why are you side with him!? Open your eyes! Dream doesn't love you anymore. He's just using you!"

    "It doesn't matter, Nightmare."

   "Great job, (Y/N)! You make this AU full of despair and miseries! I always know you're my favorite soldier!"

   "It's my pleasure to serve you, my lord."

   I scrub my blood-stained skin, the wounds sting because of the soapy water. Some of the old gash reopened, making me yell in frustration.

   "We can save Dream! Don't lose any hope, (Y/N)!"

   "How? There are barely things we can do. It's over, Nightmare. Look at yourself! You transfer back because Dream shattered! How are you gonna turn him back? By let someone else eats a black apple again?!"

   The white dirty bandages wrap around my mess up torso. Why am I even bother treating my injures? They sure are going to reopen soon anyway.

   "No matter what you say to me, I won't change the path I've chosen, Nightmare."

   "I've already gone far enough."

   "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"

   I hate it so much.

   The smell won't disappear no matter how many times I wash it over and over.

   I hate it.

   My hair smells like those disgusting goop on Dream.

   Why can't I get rid of this sickening stink!?!

   Throwing the bottles at random direction, I tug my hair till I scream out.

   "What's with all that noises in there!? You better finish your business soon, I'm losing my patience!"

   I hate it.

   "I deeply apologize for making you wait for such a long time, my lord."

   I wish I can understand your pain sooner.

   "Whatever, time to leave."

   I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

   "My lord, where are we going, may I ask?"

   Dream's left eye glows in excitement.

   "I find out where those sneaky scums are hiding."

   With a wave of hand, Dream opens the portal leads to an unknown empty place.

   No one is left out.

   Nightmare, Ink, Blue, everyone's here.

   "And I'm going to give them a pleasant encounter."

   But today is a little different.

   Then all hell breaks out.

   Nightmare's starting to transform. The dark gooey substance covering up his body gradually.

   The same routine as usual. Nightmare pleads Dream to stop his actions while the former guardian of positivity just laugh it off, a bit talks here and there.

   "Miss me, dear brother?"

    The crazy laughter of Dream rings in the air.

   "Yes! Finally, things are getting interesting!"

   While Dream focusing on battling with Nightmare, I have to handle the two other skeletons.

   "I know deep down you don't want to fight us, (Y/N)! Let's just drop our weapons, okay?"

   Ink creates a bunch of arrows, ready to launch them at Dream. I block his charge immediately, slashing Ink's arm with my sword.

   My silence is always my only answer.

   "No one's going to get near Dream."

   I continue to attack Blue. We've already been through this conversation many times.

   "How…how's this possible?!"

   Dream can only defense himself from Nightmare as the latter one keeps on firing attacks. It looks like Nightmare gets more advantage of the battle.

   "Seems like you can't control your tentacles very well yet, little bro."

    Nightmare mocks, resulting Dream to lose his temper. He strikes at Nightmare blindly, only to receive a powerful blow in the guts.

   "Dream!!"

   I rush to Dream, who’s looking more exhausted than usual. From the way how he’s panting heavily, I know he's already losing too much strength to fight.

   "Get away from me! I don't need your help!!"

   The attack is sloppy but I didn't dodge it. Dream can beat me all he wants after I get him to safety.

   Even if it means I can possibly die.

   "My lord, I apologize, but we have to move to another universe again."

   Dream growls at me.

   "It's you who are dragging me down!!"

   They're still following us.

   I'm whacking to the ground in a flash. A heavy boot stamps on my ribs harshly.

   The nasty cracking sound and my piercing shirek fills in the air.

   "You're no longer useful to me."

    I watch as Dream disappears in a portal. He doesn't even spare a glance at me. Leaving me bleeding and slowly dying on the ground.

   "I've told you."

    Nightmare's lurking shadow towers above me.

   "Oh no, Ink! We must save (Y/N)! She's…!"

     Ink put a hand on Blue's shoulder, shaking his head solemnly.

   "We can't, Blue. Remember, our priority is to capture Dream."

   "Please, Night…"

     I find myself pleading to Nightmare.

   "Don't…kill Dream…"

   "You and I both know that's an empty promise, (Y/N)."

   Three skeletons begins to move towards the portal that opens by Ink. Before they leave, Nightmare whispers in a quiet voice but loud enough for me to catch.

   "…he's in Dreamtale."

   How much will you sacrifice for protecting your fallen love?

   "You really are dumb. You know that?"

   "Or you're just enjoy me breaking you apart bit by bit?"

   "Don't you scare of your own nightmares?"

   "I deserve it."

   "I'm already living with it."

   "You will always be my fading dreams."

   "It's my own redemption."

   "Surrender now, Dream. Then we can put an end to this whole mess."

   My time is running out.

    "Heh, I thought you know me well, dear brother. You should get the answer by yourself now."

   "…goodbye, my poor little brother.

   I pray to you, God. Let me see him one last time.

  ��I can't save him the last time.

    It's always a miracle how accurate the portal can lead to.

   "(Y…Y/N)?"

   This time, I'm going to save Dream.

   There's no pain anymore.

   "…at least…you……say my…name……one…last……time…"

   Crimson blood drips down my penetrated torso. I think I see Dream's crying. But that might be just my own tears.

   Forgive me, Dream.

   My collapsing body falls forward, landing on the soft grass surface before me.

(3rd pov)

   "Nightmare, I need your assistance."

   "I thought we're enemies now."

    "There's a method I want to try. It might succeed to bring Dream back."

   "Well, I'm here to listen."

   "She's just a tool."

   "Nothing else."

    "Because I know him well. The extreme emotion is the only possible way to get things right again."

   Dream mutters to himself like a broken recorder. Staring the wrecking body of yours, his non-existent heart begins to hurt.

    "I refuse! That's too dangerous! You surely will be dead in this terrible plan! Besides, how can you so sure he'll behave like you predict!?"

    "It's worth it. I'm doing this for the whole alternate universes, and him."

    "But…you…"

    "Wake up! I demand you to wake up now! (Y/N)!!"

    "It's not…worth for your own life."

    "Don't pity me. Pity for the one who can't help himself in his own nightmare."

    "Wake up."

   "Don't leave me…alone, (Y/N)…please…my love…"

   Ahh, it must be the time when he transfers into this horrible creature.

   Nightmare, who’s now in his uncorrupted form, widening his eyes.

   "…congratulations, (Y/N). Your suicidal plan…works."

   Dream doesn't recall when’s the last time he breaks down.

    No one dare to speak a word, except Dream drowning in his own pitiful cries.

     "Always."

     "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"

   You look at Nightmare with a smile, replying to him like it's the only correct answer in your mind.

[tokyoimagines]

✧ I’ll Always Take Care Of You ✧

❀ Summary: Megumi was hurt on his last mission so you took it in your own hands to take care of him!

❀ A/N: If I mix up the names I’m sorry, I watched Jujutsu Kaisen in three different languages and the names get mixed up a lot. I’m not a native English speaker speaker so there will be mistakes (feel free to correct me)

❀ Pairings: Megumi x Reader

❀ Warnings: Grammar Error / Fluff / Blood / Bad Language

❀ Published: 11.02.2021

❀ Words: 1.742

You couldn't believe it.

Megumi just came back from a mission that Gojo gave him a few days ago but he won’t let you allow see him. He came back a few hours ago and went straight to his room, not even looking you in the eyes. You just wanted to know if he was fine but he kept blocking every social interaction.

All you knew was that the mission included a grade 1 curse while Megumi was a grade 2 sorcerer so this shit didn’t even make sense. You were really worried, not knowing what happened.

“Megumi? Can I please come in?” it’s the fifth time now that you are were standing in front of his closed door. Shifting on your feet you waited quietly until you heard his stern voice replying. “No you can’t. Now please leave me alone.” Wow that hurt. A frustrated sigh leaving your mouth. Your best friend could be so stubborn its incredible.

Deciding if you should go to your room or just try again you saw Yuuji approaching you. “Yo!” he waved at you “He won’t let you in either?”

“No, I don’t know whats going on with him. So you also tried to talk too him?” you sigh, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. Looking at Yuuji you noticed that he also seemed kind of worried. You remember how happy he was when you first met him, this boy has definitely changed a lot.

“Well he told me to fuck off.” he said laughing. “HE SAID WHAT?”

Yuuji let out a loud laugh. “I guess he’s just really exhausted, we should give him a break and try again later” Thinking about what he just said you bit your lip. Maybe he was right and Megumi was just really tired. We’re probably just annoying him right now.

“You’re probably right. If he was really hurt he would have went to Shoko. I’ll look after him again in the evening.” you said in a monotone voice.

After the sun began to set you found yourself in the kitchen, brewing some soup. “If he won’t let me in this time I’ll pour this shit over his head!” you mumbled while stirring the soup. Grabbing a bowl of the freshly made soup you made your way to Megumis room again.  Hesitantly you knocked on the door again. “Megumi? I made you some food. I haven’t seen you the whole day, you must be hungry…” You waited nervously, biting your lip.

What if I just woke him up? Oh shit this punk will kill me.

“Leave the food in front of the door, I’ll get it later.”

Wait? Is this idiot serious right now?

You couldn't remember the last time you were this angry at your best friend because this shit just reached a whole different level. “You know what? I give a shit if you don’t want anyone to see you. Get the fuck ready because I’m coming in now”

“Y/N I dare y-” You stepped into his room, making his words die on his lips. He was laying in his bed while holding an ice pack to his lips.

Walking over to his bed and putting the soup on his nightstand you could make out some bloody tissue papers in his trash bin.

Now inspectating his face more closely you were able to see a big cut over his eyebrow and a dark purple eye. Now grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand with the ice pack away from his face, revealing a bruised lips.

“You could have just told me you were hurt.” you pressed out quietly. “You should go to Shoko”

“It’s really not that bad” he mumbled, pressing the ice against his lip again.

“That bloody shit in your trash says otherwise.” you pointed at his trash bin. “I’ll be right back, just don’t run away.”

“Where do you think I would be going looking like th-” again he was cut off by you leaving his room.

A few seconds later you came back bursting into his room again, in your hand a little package.

“Okay I guess I’ve got everything I need. Can you sit up? And put that damn ice to the side.”

Megumi put the ice on his nightstand and sat himself on the edge of his bed looking around his room. He looked everywhere but definitely not at you. After you positioned yourself in front of him you grabbed his chin softly, not wanting to hurt him any further.

“You look like shit” you said while getting out the bandages and the alcohol.

“Yeah Sherlock you don’t say” you chuckled at his stupid remark.

Putting some alcohol on a cotton wrap you padded it on the cut over his eyebrow. This angle gave you a chance to have a better look at his eyes. They were so dark, almost like obsidian. They were so deep, you almost got lost into them but Megumis hissing made you snap back. Ah right, the alcohol.

“I’m sorry, does it hurt that bad?”

“No, its fine. Just hurry please” You nodded, putting the cotton wrap away and grabbing a big band aid to put it over the cut. “This should stop the blending for now.”

“Turn your head a little bit, I need to see how badly your lips look.”

He turned his head to the side. His lips where mostly bruised but you could make out a little cut.

I can’t really patch that up but I can at least disinfect it.

Grabbing your alcohol and cotton again, you began to press it on his lips.

“Sorry this must hurt a lot”

Megumi kept quiet and just looked at you. His stare made you nervous.

Damn this boy and his beautiful eyes.

“I guess that’s all I can do for now. Do you have any more cuts or bruises I should take a look at?”

you immediately regretted your question.

“I actually got some more wounds, but I guess I can take care of them myself, it’s fine.” Oh no. If I do my job I do it correctly.

“Can you at least show them to me so I can see how bad they are. They should not get infected, you know right?”

Megumi let out a loud sight. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. Damn it, I wasn’t expecting it to be on his rips. I thought they were on his arms or some shit like that. So this was the reason why he had troubles getting up. Makes sense now.

You immediately became flustered by the pure sight of his upper body. Luckily Megumi was busy trying to not look you in the eyes.

I have to touch him. Oh please no.

You quietly did your job of disinfecting and cleaning up his wounds. His skin was pale and cold to your touch. Your eyes staring right at his upper body, not daring to look him in the eyes for just one second. Megumi was just as nervous as you were but after some minutes of acting like all of this didn’t happen, he was able to look at you cleaning his wounds. How careful you were to not hurt him.

“Y/N?” he spoke softly. You instinctively looked up, becoming even more red.

“Thank you for doing this.” he said, still staring into your eyes.

You hectically looked away, fixing your eyes on his almost patched up wounds again.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always take care of you. No matter what.”

After you finished patching Megumi up, you packed your things together, strands of hair falling in your face. Megumi pulled his shirt over his head, being fully clothed again. The situation was awkward and even tho you really like Megumi, you wanted to get out of it.

“Guess my job is done here. Text me if you need something and I’ll come over. And eat your soup!” you said smiling at him, pointing at the soup that was still on his nightstand.

You were about to turn around, when Megumi spoke up.

“You know you could just stay here, then I don’t have to text you if I need something” he mumbled while scratching the back of his neck, not even looking you in the eyes.

You heart hammered so loud, you were scarred he would be able to hear it.

Was he serious? He wants me to stay with him over the night. This boy is joking right?

“Are your sure? Like… you want me here to stay?” you mumbled. Not really knowing what to say. You’ve gotten so nervous it’s getting ridiculous.

“Only if you want to, I thought that would be the better option” he shifted around, not knowing if what he said was wrong.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess that would be better.” you agreed by rapidly nodding, almost stumbling over your own words.

This was everything Megumi needed to hear. He lifted his blanked up to signalize you to get your ass into his bed.

Hesitantly you crawled into the bed, now laying next to him.

Megumi was laying on his back. You turned around to face him. “Can I….. you know. Can I maybe lay my hand there?” pointing at his stomach. You felt ashamed for asking to literally cuddle him, but you just couldn't help it.

Everyone can sleep better when they cuddle something, right?

Megumi looked at you, surprised that you even asked him that. “If it helps you sleep, sure.”

You slowly slit your hands up his stomach and rested it right under the wound you just patched up before. Curling into his side you breathed his scent in. He smelled so incredibly good, it gave you butterfly's in your belly.

“Am I not hurting you?” you asked, referring to the position you hand was in.

“You could never. Now go to sleep, you had a troublesome day with me acting like a completely asshole.” he chuckled, patting your head once, letting his hand rest on your back.

“I guess your right.” was all you where able to say, before slowly drifting off into a deep sleep.

Megumi watched you a bit longer, questioning how you both ended up like this. He always had liked you since he first laid his eyes on you. Seeing your sleeping form curled into him, made him realize how much he cared for you.

A/N

I hope you liked this imagine. If you know things I could do better, feel free to DM me. I always want to improve myself and my writing.

Have a nice day! ♡

[gojospetd0g]

The accidental meet-up

Megumi Fushiguro x reader

Just some wholesome fluff about running into your childhood friend you never talked to since junior high.

“Can you please go to the store for me, y/n?” Asked mom from her office room.

“Sure.” I walked there and popped my head in “What do we need?”

“There’s the list honey, thank you so much.” She handed me the note and smiled at me with a usual tired face.

“You have enough to do mom, and i wanted to get some fresh air anyway.”

“Be careful on your way. Should i call someone to go with you?”

“It’s fine the store is not that far y’know!”

“Just making sure. Then, take care sweetie, hurry before it gets late. There’s some extra money on the fridge, buy something for yourself.”

“Thanks, i’ll be back soon!”

I went back to my room and got ready. Mom was a jujutsu sorcerer back in the day but after an incident in which she experienced a huge loss, she retired. She was a teacher in Tokyo Jujutsu High but now she’s an undercover in there. Looking for curses and informing the school, the heads of the sorceres and things like that. However, she’s considering going back because a certain boy ate a finger of Sukuna’s. She tells me stuff you know, she spills everytime i massage her shoulders or make her coffee to have a break.

In my case, i can’t see curses nor do i hold the power sorcerers have. But it’s fine, mom said it’s better this way. Her stories are fun tho, i wish i could have some connection with this whole thing, my life is really boring this way. Anyways, as i left the house i put my earplugs in, closing off the noises of the outside world. On my way i thought of getting some snacks for later tonight. I was planning on catchcing up with some shows.

After minutes of walking i was getting closer to the store. But i couldn’t believe my eyes, there was someone really familiar going to the same building. I took one earplug out and squinted my eyes. Is that.. If that’s not him i can just pretend i’m having a phone call or sum.

“Megumi?” He looked my way, a suprised expression on his face. He didn’t change one bit; hair messy, face expressionless as always.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same! What happened to your face? The guy who always beat others got beaten up? How is that possible.”

He laughed a little, looking at the ground “Well.. stuff happened.”

“Sure did, oh-“ i looked at his clothes and asked “Are you a jujutsu sorcerer?”

“How do you know about this? Sorry I mean-”

“See you never believed me when i told about my mom beating evil curses!”

“Jesus y/n that was ages ago! How was i supposed to believe that?”

“Hmph, so disrespectful.”

“If your mom is a sorcerer why aren’t you-

“I can’t see shit, i have absolutly nothing to do with this whole thing. Sooo good luck i guess, be strong.”

“That’s...unfortunate.”

“All good.”

“Do you want to catch up? I.. missed you. I guess.”

“Aww, did you really?? I don’t even know why you stopped talking to me suddenly so yeah! I have some things to buy let’s go in ol’ friend!”

Even when we were little we were on good terms with Megumi. He stayed over at our place a lot but i was never at his, we were classmates throughout elementary and junior high school every year and there was nothing more than great friendship. He beat guys up who hurt me in any way, took me out sometimes and overall he was a really good friend. Best friend as you call it. But some days after junior high he stopped answering my calls, texting me back and everything. I was feeling really under the rock at the time, i doubted myself every day: ‘did i do something wrong?’ ‘what happened to him?’ ‘where did he go?’ ‘is he okay?’ Until one day i got a message from an unknown number saying ‘I’m sorry i’ll explain one day-Bedhair’ And i knew it was him. I was never really the type to keep grudges and i moved on since then, deep down waiting for that day. And the day came. Unexpectedly. Accidentally.

“So did you make any friends?” I asked opening the ice cream i just bought. He opened his can on Sprite, nodding.

“I guess you can call them friends. Shit, there are only three first years including me. And we live in a hostel. Kinda fancy tho. My upperclassmate is a literal panda, and the other one is communicating with sushi ingredients. Don’t get me started with our teacher, he took pics of me when i first got beaten up.”

“Bruh, damn. That’s deep.” I laughed and he smiled at that. “Sounds fun.”

“Did you make any friends?”

“Yeah, i have a few. Not as cool as your friends but they’re fun to hang out with too.” He nodded as he sipped on his soda.

“You don’t know how glad i am to see you.”

“Aw, things have been rough or sumthing?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if i’m allowed to tell you this tho.”

“Please, my mom always tells me everything. She even draws me how the curses look sometimes.”

He looked me dead in the eyes then smiled with a sigh. “So i was sent to this school to—“

And he told me. He told me how that ‘idiot’ ate Sukuna’s finger, how he met his other classmate, a full of potential but loud girl, how his said friend died in front of him and how he came back. How the fight went against the other school and other small things that happened in his daily life. He asked about me too. And i told him. I told him everything that i’ve been throught and he didn’t judge me for them being just average teenage things, he was interested in the new game i was playing, the new mangas i’ve been reading, how i started cooking ect. I’ve always loved the way he listened and the way he talked. I felt understood and at peace next to him.

“But i understand why you decided to distance yourself from me. I’m not mad don’t worry.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, mom told me how i could be in serious danger if i was in some kind of relation with anyone in this field. She’s kinda unknown now so i’m okay, but if she goes back to work seriously i might have to move.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay, my rich aunt, swag unle and gay cousin live not that far from here. They’re even closer to my school! I’m prepared bestie.”

“Thank god. I don’t even have to explain then.”

“What is that supposed to mean!”

I pushed him hard but he didn’t even budge.

“Holy-!”

“Know who you’re messing with weakling.”

“If you keep this act up i’m going to leave.”

“Ok sorry.” He laughed and made our knees touch. Back in middle school we’d always connect our knees for no reason so it just felt quite nostalgic.

“I missed you too Megumi.”

“Happy to know that.” He smiled gently.

But as he was about to say something we heard agressive running and a “Fushiguro-kyun!”

A puder pink haired guy and a short brown haired girl clung into him asking “Who is this woman??”

“Have you forgotten the night you toasted to my eyes? Was it all a lie when you said your time with me was the most enjoyable of all? That night, that night!”

They must be the said friends, i just laughed at what they were saying. He really found good people to be around and i’m glad.

Another voice was heard “Could you not touch him so casually please?” A rather handsome man stood a few steps from us. Is he the teacher? “You homewreckers?! Megumi-chan has violin practice with me now.”

“Do you play the violin?” I asked him, not paying attention anymore. I wiped my eyes from the laughing while he just stayed unbothered and done with all of them.

“No i don’t.”

“Let’s go home, Megumi-chan.” Finished his speech the beautiful eyed man.

“Don’t mind them please. Are you done?” He said to all of them, pushing the girl away and punching the guy next to him.

I took my bags and bowed a little “Hi i’m y/n, i’m an old friend. Nice to meet you all.”

“Oh you’re y/n! I’m Itadori Yuuji.” The pink haired guy smiled at me and i tilted my head, averting my eyes to Megumi. But he looked away immediatelly “Fushiguro told me about you.”

“Did he really?? Dang, Megumi.”

“First name phasis huh? I’m Gojou Satoru. Their teacher.” He showed a rather questionable face but it was funny, the girl and i laughed. I looked at her and she turned away with a blush.

“Nobara.. Kugisaki.”

“That’s a cute name it suits you!” Her blush deepened as she flipped her hair, sticking her tounge at Itadori with the lines of ‘they didn’t compliment you but they did me!’

“Gojou-san stop staring at me.” Said Megumi “We’ve known each other since we were little we just bumped into each other.”

Then my phone rang. “It’s mom, i should go. I’ve been out longer than expected.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Suggested Megumi but i declined.

“It’s okay, i’ll be fine. It was a pleasure to meet you all. Take care of Megumi for me, be safe guys!” I said walking away.

“Tell your mom i said hi.” Said Gojou with a wink which made me shiver and gag, that sounded so wrong. “N-not in that way i just know her!”

With a laugh i answered the phone call. I was a bit far from them already as they went the opposite way as well, then i sighed.

“Thank god i was worried. Everything’s fine honey?”

“Yeah.” My voice came out weaker than expected. I really missed Megumi. And now i do again. “I missed him so much mom.” A tear slid down my face, but my smile never faded.

“I know honey. I know. Hurry home, i’m making cookies. We can talk about it when you arrive.”

“Thanks. I’ll be there soon.” With a sob i put the earplugs in, treasuring todays happening. Who knows when we’ll be able to see each other again.

I woke up and chose wholesome but make it sad at the end :D

Hope you guys enjoyed, have a nice day/night! <3

[twinkies-f]

Home

Bakugou x reader

Warning: death mention in a conversation, weed smoking, fluff

Summary: late night talking with bakugou while you both smoke weed turns out to be the beginning of a long relationship

Note: I recommend you listen to home by cavetown _ it is what I am listening to while writing this , I also inspired some of it out of the lyrics _:)

Note 2: I didn't check for mistakes yet , I got so emotional writing this so I hope it got out well...have fun!

After bakugou got kidnapped, he got really quiet, not as loud as usual

That doesn't mean he stopped being his usual self , not at all ...he just...got quieter. Not screaming all the time ... trying his best to keep his emotions to himself , to not look as week as he feels

Especially that his own mom thinks it's his fault that his got kidnapped, that allmight lost his power because of him

So , and as a way to not explode and hurt someone close to him , he decided that it's okay if he get out of his room and walked in the garden around the drooms

Setting there, under the night sky..he feels like a stranger to himself...so lost without a hope to get out of his own mind...prisoner to his own feelings ... he let out a heavy breath, throwing hi head back and closing his eyes

"It will get better kat, don't be a week mother fucker now...you have made it so far so don't give up now you fucking idiot "

Mumbling to himself, he wiped away a tear that fall from his eyes...he is so done with all of this...

Maybe he was so lost in his mind that he didn't even notice your footsteps coming from behind, Maybe he was so deep in the beginning of a panic attack that he didn't hear your feets making thir way to him

He shivered when you touched his shoulders , looking back as he get his hands out of his sweet pants pocket, ready to blow your ass up immediately

"What the fuck are you doing here now you fucking idiot?"

"Wooh, calm down boom boom boy! Jesus, am just smoking "

"What??" He asked, looking more relaxed that it was just you and not some villain...at least he is not alone with his thoughts now

"Oh , I smoke...weed..from time to time...you know? To help me relax a little "

"This shit is going to fucking kill you one day"

"Ooh , you are worried about me? How adorable " you laughed,setting on the grass , next to his tall legs

And just resting your head to the side of his legs , it's not like he minded tho , you were a sweet person and he was kinda comfortable around you .

"Want to try some? You look like you need to relax...I promise I will tell no one !" You smiled to him , you were the most chill person he ever knew...kinda like sero...it was helpful that you did ask anything, just smiled to him

"You have another cigarette?"

"Yah wait" you got one out of your pocket and gave it to him smiling, he took it and lighted it up with a small explosion from his hands and took a deep breath

"You look good with a cigarette in between your lips "

"Shut up , dumbass "

"Sorry sorry" you laughed and closed your eyes, getting more comfortable with your head still attached to the side of his leg

Comfortable silence went between you both before you layed your whole body on the grass and pointed at the empty space next to you

"Come and lay down , watch stars with me"

He looked at you for some time before he get up to lay next to you , staring at the stars

Few minutes passed, until you talked

"Are you dead?"

"W...what?" Honestly he was so confused to even use his usual angry voice

"You know , sometimes I think am dead...because I just can't feel anything.. "

"How?" He asked slowly, welling to know more.. maybe understanding your emotions will help him with his

"It's like...am not what everyone wants me to be ... not as funny as denki or as smart as deku or as strong as you..not what my family wanted and not what my friends wanted .. it feels like I am a stranger...like no one really likes me as who I am...it feels like I am disappoiment...you know?"

"Well...I think I know" he turned his head back to the sky, staring at them while he talks

"I have Always tried to be the best...but somehow...somehow I have Always been a disappointment " he whispered, not looking at you as you got yourself to set and took a deep breath of your cigarette

"It's not true tho, I know how bad it feels... I know how bad you must be feeling now...but hey! You don't have to be alone anymore!"

He looked at you with red eyes that shines from the reflection of the sky

"You have done amazing you know...going through all of this...it was never your fault...I know you think you are week and everything but kat , if it makes any difference...I am really proud of you "

"Why? Why would you be proud of me? I am not good, y/n ...I couldn't even save myself and I put my friends in danger to save me...I am the reason almight I not a hero anymore .. I can't even get my shit together and focus on studying and training! I AM USELESS .. so why the fuck would you be proud if me???"

He said, his voice is not loud but it's broken... tears falling down his face and he doesn't even try to hide it...as much as he hates that he is crying in front of someone but it was all so much.. he can't hold it back anymore

"Why wouldn't I be proud of you katski? This is the real question... you have done amazing agents all of those villains, you are back to us and you are trying your best to study and train, you are smart, strong , beautiful, loud , caring, lovely...you are doing you best and if people around you don't see this so fuck them...I am fucking proud of you and you can't change that , so just accept it because I will say it over and over again, for every day from now on if I have to , until you believe it" you said, staring at him with a serious look that you don't show often

He broke down. Setting up and crying like a little kid...God he can't remember when did anyone told him that they were proud of him

And as he cry hardly you just smiled softly and hugged him so tight

"It's okay , heros cry too you know.. let it all out okay?...am not going anywhere .."

Je cried for almost a hour, hugging you back and not saying a word

Just listing to your soft voice mumbling a "It's okay now" and a "there there.. I know it have been too much...just let it all out ... I am proud of you kat" from time to time

When he finally calmed down he talked slowly with a low voice

"Y/n...I...am a little out of it now...but .. you have always been in my thoughts to help me when I lose myself "

Ge looked you in the eyes, desperate for your love

Only you made him that happy .. only you can see him crying like this

"Will you. .go out with me sometime?"

You laughed softly and kissed his forehead, getting up and giving him a hand to get up to

"Of course I will kat, now come on...let's get inside...you must be so tired "

Yes , it have always been you.. you have always been there to give him a hand .. maybe he is not a mess up after all .. maybe he is greedy enough to want you for himself

"You have always been there for me , waiting with open arms...and I will always be there to catch you ...you will be my soft and beautiful and I will always be your strong and faithful man...until the very end" _ katski bakugou

The end ♡

[amara-scott]

Confessions

Movie: Harry Potter (Maurauders Era) Characters: Remus Lupin x Reader Categories: Fluffy and Sweet

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It was a cold winter morning when Lilly woke me up to join her at breakfast. I groggily complied, following her without having exchanged a word. I am not a morning person. And she very much knows that. But she is my friend and leaving her to go alone on a Saturday morning would be too cruel. Simply because of one person. James Potter- we all know they are meant to be. They are both just too stubborn. Well, Lilly is. James would marry her right there and then.

"Thanks again, (y/n), you know I can't handle him. Especially not in the mornings." I just smirk, nodding.

But my smirk is wiped off my tired face as soon as I catch a glimpse of Remus. Remus Lupin. Aka the death of me. Those brown locks and shy smile drive me mad. Sure I didn't tell anybody, everyone would make fun of me for it. Just like they do with Potter and Evans. Besides, I know he doesn't feel the same. He has a huge crush on that Gryffindor Girl that has luscious golden locks and full, pouty lips. It's hopeless, really. But Lilly has other plans as she drags me with her, right up to the Marauders.

"Good morning, beautiful Lilly-flower. How did you sleep?" There's the reason why I'm here.

"Shut it Potter, not today." Lilly mutters as she sits down opposite him and pulls me down next to her. Her small blush obvious to everyone. I sit down. Right next to Remus. I try not to show my excitement. Or how nervous I've gotten all of a sudden. And definitely not turn toward him.

It must have been too forced which is why Sirius sends a smirk my way. I raise an eyebrow in return.

“Why so tense, (Y/N)? Can’t handle the beauty in front of you? You seem overwhelmed-“

“Actually, let me stop you right there, Sirius. Nothing of the above.” Remus chuckles next to me but it turns into a muffled cough, which catches my attention and I can’t help and turn too look at him. The first time I really do today. And a sense of hurt fills me as I see his scared face. Another rough night. I lift a hand to touch his shoulder but decide against it mid-air.

“Remus, are you alright?” He doesn’t glance back just pokes at his food and still holding a fist to his lips after the cough. He shakes his head and ignores my question. I frown and turn back forward, trying to feel hungry. Actually, trying to feel anything but a void in my stomach. And hurt. He never ignored me. Sure, he is frank sometimes and maybe doesn’t always looks me in the eye when we talk but- he never once ignored me.

“Soo, are we going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?” James asks, trying to cut the tension at the table but I can’t hold it in anymore and am scared they will see my glossy eyes.

I shake my head and stand up briefly. “Sorry.” I speed walk down the table and out of the Great Hall. I only stop once I reached the common room and decide to sit on the couch until classes would start. Who needs food anyway. I bury my head in a book and nearly miss to leave for our first class. Potions. Funny enough this is the only class I usually sit next to Remus because James sat next to Lilly the first time. Now I slow down my walk and hope he might have switched seats. When I enter though Remus is glancing around until his eyes land on me. I freeze for a second but gulp down my nerves and take my usual seat next to him.

It’s quite for a while. I don’t look over and he doesn’t say anything. Not even raising his hand when I can clearly see he did his homework and knows the correct answer.

A paper ball lands on his side of the desk which catches my attention. I don’t want to be nosey so I don’t try to read what’s written there. But I get where it must have come from by the look he is sending over to Sirius. Sirius gestures wildly at him, looking stern and I frown until he points over to me and our eyes meet- he quickly whips his hand up and ruffles his hair, sending me an awkward smile with a wave. Then turns back around.

I frown but don’t question it any further, trying to also ignore the eyes I feel on the side of my face. I Scribble down on my parchment but can’t help and notice Remus clearing his throat a couple times. After the third time I sigh and glance up. He’s wringing his fingers below the table and his eyes dart up as he sees me looking up. His eyes growing wide for a second before he sends me a small, uneasy smile.

“Hey.” He whispers. I can’t help but let my gaze linger on the scar below his eye. It looks painful and I quickly relax my face as I notice I’ve been cringing at him.

“Hi.” I reply and have to send a smile back. I can’t stop myself. He does that to me. Goofball. I am about to turn back to our task as he opens his mouth, inhaling- as if to say something. But he stops himself.

I raise a brow at him and wait. “What’s up?” Is add, trying to encourage him to keep going.

“I- I just-“ he smiles down at his hands and turns toward me slightly, “-I wanted to apologize. You probably think I’m absolutely rude and, and insufferable-“

He wants to ramble on but I glance up to the podium to see McGonogall sending us a suspicious look. I turn back to Remus, taking one of his fidgety hands and he stops talking, looking down at our hands.

“Remus, it’s okay. I still like you- let’s get back to work and talk later, alright?” I give him another small smile and he sighs, sending one back, nodding.

It took a short moment longer before I let go off his hand and turn back forward. I shield my warm cheeks from his view with my hair covering them now. The grin on my face suppressed.

___

“So- who’s up for a ride on our magnificent sled this fine evening?” James asks as he rounds the couch of the common room where Lilly and I sit, reading and talking. Our eyes go up to him as Sirius joins his side, throwing an arm over his shoulder and sending us mischievous smile. I roll my eyes and glance over to Lilly who’s sighing. But she wears a smile, her eyes finding mine.

“What do you say?” She asks me and I shrug my shoulders, standing up and throwing the book onto the soft cushioned couch.

“Why not, it’s beautiful outside.”

“Remus is coming as well~” Sirius is singing teasingly as he walks off with James to get ready, but not without winking at me over his shoulder. My eyes grow wide at his remark. Does he know? I tried really hard to hide that crush.

“-(Y/N)? Let’s go, come on.” Lilly pulls me out of my trance and pulls me after her at my sleeve.

“So, what’s that with you and Remus?” She asks, a small grin on her lips.

“What do you mean? Nothings going on.” I reply, maybe too quickly because Lilly sends me another big goofy grin and I roll my eyes, as she rummages through her stuff, throwing a beanie at me and one of her gryffindor scarfs.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She mumbles and we jog back down to the common room, waiting for the boys.

As they join us, James picks up a squealing Lilly and runs ahead. Sirius carries the sleds and nods at us. “See you there, losers.” He runs off as well, yelling after them. Now it’s just Remus and me. Peter needed to rest, he’s been sick for a few days already, enjoying his peace in Madame Pomfrey’s Medical Wing.

“Are you going anywhere special this Christmas?” I ask, trying to cut the tension I felt growing. I loved that we quietly, without saying a word, decided not to run after them. We kept walking normally.

“No, just staying home, what about you?” I bury my hands deep in my pockets as we step outside, the wind instantly blowing across our skin.

“No, neither do we. My grandparents are coming over this year tho, so- that will be interesting.” I mumble and he chuckles, I glance up at him.

“I couldn’t hear what you were saying.” I realize I’ve talked into my scarf and push it down a little, my face now warm anyway.

“Hey! Watch out-“ I can’t even look at the source of the voice when a snowball hits me right on the cheek. I stumble, squeezing my eyes shut but Remus holds me before I slip.

I blink my eyes open, Remus wiping at my cheek, frowning. “Are you alright?” I nod quickly, staring into his warm eyes.

“Guys, come on!” Sirius whines and runs over.

“Seriously, be more careful Sirius.” Remus mumbles, quite annoyed as he turns to him, his hand leaving my hair, where he had also tried to get the snow wiped away.

“Aw, are you mad I threw snow at your girlfriend?” He smirks and folds his arms. I stare at the icy ground now and Remus says something under his breath while bending down and collecting a pile of snow, Sirius quickly runs off and giggles. Remus runs after him, holding his beanie as it’s slipping off.

“Get back here, Black!”

I hide my smile behind the scarf and walk toward where Lilly is watching James, who seems to struggle with a spell. He rearranged his glasses, his cheeks slightly tinted pink as he sends a shy smile over to Lilly. “I nearly got it.”

“Hey, why aren’t you sledding yet?” I ask as I join Lilly’s side.

“James wanted to make the sled bigger so- more people could fit on. But-“

“-I nearly got it, okay?” He clears his throat again and gulps. He gets so flustered, trying to prove himself to Lilly. It’s absolutely adorable. “Enlargio!”

I take a step back and Lilly follows suit. The sled grows in size, not too much either. Well, I guess successful?

“See?” He smirks and gestures toward his accomplishment. Lilly claps, her mittens muting the sound.

“Well done, you mighty wizard.” I add and he glares over, taking a pile of snow quickly. I hold my hands up.

“Sorry, sorry, please don’t- I already got enough snow in my face for today.” He chuckles and we look over to Remus still running after Sirius, he finally tackles him to the ground and pushes a snowball into Sirius’ face. We all laugh at the scene and walk over, up the hill.

“Hey, let poor Sirius go, I think he learned his lesson.” Lilly states and I nod, smirking at Remus as he stands up, out of breath, just as Sirius.

The latter stands up too, wiping himself off the snow and flares at Remus.

“What was that for anyway?” James asks and Sirius smirks through his white lashes.

“Yeah, Remus, what for?”

“I just- just don’t be so rude to-“

“-to, (Y/N)?” Sirius finishes for him and I roll my eyes, Remus sighing.

“Yes.” He grits out and I raise a brow at them both. They are standing now, facing each other again, Remus looking ready to throw another snowball if Sirius kept talking. And Sirius- well he just doesn’t know when to stop.

“Why don’t you just tell her that you like her? Maybe then I’ll stop.” He grabs more snow and strides my way, throwing a look over his shoulder at Remus. I shriek and turn, running away. But I am no way as fast as he is. He grabs me around my waist with one arm and lifts me up, laughing as I try to wriggle free. He holds his other hand close to my face, turning us to face the others.

“Come on Remus, you know what to do-“

“Sirius, stop, I’m gonna get sick-“

“I like her, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Don’t tell me, Remus, tell her-“ Sirius turns me further and I stop struggling, looking at Remus. He seems in conflict but shuts is eyes for a moment. When he looks back at me he gulps and steps forward.

“I- I really like you. A lot.” I want to throw my scarf and beanie off, that’s how hot I got and run toward him. Telling him I feel the same. But before I can even say anything I feel cold snow. My eyes back closed. I step on his foot now causing Sirius to finally let me go.

Remus is by my side once again and helps me with the snow. “I’ll kill him.” He whispers and runs his thumb across my cheek.

“You may. But- not without-“ I lean up and holds his face as I press a kiss to his lips. Brief but all I needed to tell him I return the feelings. He smiles down at me, his face now warm and eyes lingering on my lips and back up my eyes.

“I’ll be right back.” He adds quietly and runs around me, Sirius not noticing at first so they both stumble to the ground and throw snow at each other.

Lilly walks up and James follows suit. “Well, that took longer than expected- I owe Peter 5 galleons now.” I whip my head toward him and frown, he looks back at me, startled. “Did I say that out loud?” I nod at him. “Oh oh.” He turns around and runs off, me hot on his heels and Lilly joins me.

“Come back here, Potter!”

_________________________________

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