#<== it doesn't have to be but thats always perspective I'm coming from

[fma03envy]

Junko and Izuru are fun because their subtext never really gets addressed, but at the same time there are multiple subplots that would make 0 sense unless one assumes that they valued each other

Like, what reason did Junko have to keep Izuru around in the first place and involve him in any of her plans, other than enjoying his company? To participate in the student council massacre? He was primarily a spectator there. Nothing about how that incident was portrayed implied it would've ended differently if Junko had only brought Mukuro for muscle. As a red herring to divert attention from her during the aftermath (in dr0)? She was already avoiding suspicion through blackmailing Juzo and getting her memory wiped (not to imply this was her main motive for the latter -it wasn't- but nonetheless it sure would have made her harder to question). Her apocalypse plans? She carried those out mainly using Ryota's mind control, not Izuru's talent. As a precaution to make sure he wouldn't try to actively oppose her? Junko already knew a ton about Izuru when they first met. She knew someone as apathetic as him would have no intrinsic motivation to meddle unless Hope's Peak were to weaponize him. In which case, simply trying to prevent the school from contacting him would be more straightforward, and would cause more despair (illusion of autonomy etc). Saving her from Nagito that one time? That wasn't particularly despair inducing for anyone; she wouldn't have sought him out for such an inconsequential payoff. Bringing her AI into the Neo World Program? All her other loyal remnants were also coming along, as far as we know she could have just as easily gone with one of them. As a really, really long scheme to psychologically devastate Hajime at the end of dr2? We know from Junko's internal monologue at the end of dr0 (which was over a month after The Incident) that she hadn't planned as far as dr2 yet. And even in dr2, the killing game was hardly set up as though Junko's satisfaction hinged on Hajime specifically. (He was the one talentless participant in a killing game where Junko concealed Izuru's true identity until the last moment. It would have been so easy for him to die before the reveal).

Junko is never shown to have made Izuru an essential component in any of her plans for despair. And then as for Izuru himself, it's like.

Why would Izuru choose to go with Junko into the simulation, if he didn't have faith that she would make it interesting for him? Future Foundation forced him to go against his will? He's like Ultimate Everything there's no way they'd actually beat him in any sort of confrontation. Junko forced him? Same answer. Junko didn't tell him that it was a killing game, and he legitimately thought he was going to some remnant rehabilitation therapy thing? He wouldn't go to therapy; boring. Also he knew that Junko was coming along, there's no way an Ultimate Analyst couldn't connect those kind of obvious dots. He thought he'd get to participate in the killing game as himself, not as Hajime? That would still imply trust in Junko to protect him from boredom, but also on the boat he tells Nagito that he won't be able to participate in the upcoming events, so he definitely knew. He wanted revenge on Junko for being evil and/or using him for her plans? As previously mentioned he wasn't even particularly useful for her plans, and he never acted like he had any problem with her being evil. (Sure he cried about Chiaki, but was too emotionally repressed to understand why. He instead concluded that to emotionally influence him, hope too must have some entropic potential for amusement. This was why he left Junko, not because he took moral issue with her actions. For reference: his last convo with her in dr3). Also she's on a hard drive in his pocket. If he did want revenge, he could've just stomped on it or something. (...and if she was backed up somewhere? Then trapping her in the simulation wouldn't have worked in the first place).

Izuru coming into the NWP and bringing Junko, a plot point upon which the entire premise of sdr2 is built, would only make sense if he to some degree trusted in her.

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

[jonjaydami]

Breaking down the song too sweet by hozier and literally shoving any dc ship in it. Well mainly any bat x super ship cause honestly I love the idea that the song is from the bats perspective talking about their respective super.

Also I feel the need to make this clear, I do ship superbat, timkon, and Damijon but not all in the same universe. Like no offense to anyone who has written anything containing all three of these ships but I think it's just weird cause it's like man if superbat is canon and then you put damijon it's like Damian and Jonathan are brothers so it just makes me feel weird about the ship at that point. But if they are all in separate fics then I feel like it's fine and I love it.

But anyway! I was writing my newest chapter and on my superbat fanfiction called " does superman cry" (FYI I regret not making the title too sweet or ice tea and tears or something silly like that)

Cause I'm so OBSESSED with Clark having a deep appreciation for ice tea and loving it cause Martha would make it during the summer months and would make it warm during the winter so Kal just always had that bitter sweet tea after a long day of working on the farm.

So Bruce learns about it and he absolutely hates tea. He takes his whiskey neat and coffee in bed at 3 and this man just can't stand the bitter taste. Even with sugar in it he hates it. But after he learns Martha makes it he has Alfred the tea steeping master he is make his own so every time Clark comes over he baits him into drinking a glass.

Especially if he wants Clark to stay longer. He secretly just brings him a glass and Kal the nice boy that he is can never refuse a glass of home made sweet tea.

Eventually they fall into this pattern and even start dating and Bruce finds that he doesn't mind sweet tea as long as it's on Clark's lips when he kisses him. Thats the sweetest tea of all.

Also I'm imagining Clark not actually being a coffee fan and liking tea cause it tastes more like home and the earthy flavor it provides, but he will bring Bruce a steaming cup of coffee just like how he likes it as compensation. Kinda like a trade of sorts ♥️🖤💙💛

[mizu-nights]

HELLO!!! iys me again heheh, id like to request ermm.. tsukasa and minori, with a s/o that RARELY shows affection by physical touch, BUT gets really clingy when theyre half awake or when theyre sick,,, though when they fully regained their consciousness/health,, they get embarrassed about it? thank yew :3!!

♬ now playing: "suddenly clingy"

-> when you've got a partner as aloof and reserved as you, can you really blame them for being so surprised?

★ — chars ; tsukasa , minori

★ — notes ; MWEHEHE HELLO AGAIN LYN (i hope thats ur name and im not misreading anything somehow huhu)!!! another tsukasa and minori req... rlly love writing them so im always grateful :3 DID U KNOW I DREW MINORI FOR MY CLASS PIN THING!?!?! my teacher was nice enough to print it out for everyone hehe... still have yet to receive it bc of break but just a fun little thing that happened!! hope u enjoy <3

★ — warnings ; implied fem!reader for minori (implies that reader also attends miyamasuzaka) , otherwise none!

★ — taglist ; @akitosheart , @mintchocaur (tsukasa!!)

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ track #1: tenma tsukasa

to put it simply, tsukasa was really surprised! just the night before, you were so calm and reserved, maybe holding his hand a few times. even kissing his cheek once or twice.

... but right now? after you just woke up? you're all over him. literally. he doesn't mind, please don't get him wrong! tsukasa finds it endearing, if anything. it's just...

"tsukasa... love you..."

feeling your entire body cling onto his with such desperation... he wants to question it, but at the same time, it might risk embarrassing you and making you back away again, which isn't what he wants at all!

though the embarrassment was basically inevitable, as 20 minutes or so later, you're back to your usual self, just a little more shy this time.

"oh, goodness... tsukasa, i'm sorry, i didn't-"

"not to worry, [name]! i don't mind it one bit!"

he knows that you don't show a lot of affection normally for a reason. maybe you're too shy, maybe you're uncomfortable with it. as much as he loves it when you do, tsukasa doesn't force you to do anything! sure, he'll ask once or twice every once in a while, but he's very understanding if the answer is no.

... though, if you do it when you're fully awake for the first time... expect him to suddenly get all quiet and freeze up. it's a good thing, no worries.

★ track #2: hanasato minori

minori's way of showing her love for you is mostly words of affirmation or gift giving, so she doesn't mind that you aren't too keen on physical affection!

that doesn't mean anything bad, of course! it's not like she doesn't want to hug you, hold you, or kiss you, it's just that... she's a little shy about it. which means your lack of physical affection works out just fine.

so you can imagine how perplexed she was when you started begging for her attention, holding her hand and asking her to stay with you when you got sick.

"minori, stay a little longer... i'll feel so much better if you're here..."

minori may be an idol now, but hearing compliments from someone she truly holds near and dear to her heart... might give her a heart attack.

... but she also really adores it. after all, it makes her feel loved and special, more so since it's coming from you, of all people.

with all the training and practices she needs to attend to nowadays, minori makes sure to leave cute, handwritten notes or sweet text messages to check up on you! if you're allowed to use your phone when you're sick, that is.

when you finally recover and go back to school, it's absolutely over for the both of you. minori gets flustered easily on her own, but now that you've also lost your cool, getting all red alongside her? it's quite a cute scene from an outsider's perspective.

... the outsiders being the rest of more more jump, of course. as silly and clumsy the two of you can be, you're really the perfect pair for each other.

[p1nk-matter]

(hxh) PHANTOM TROUPE // KURTA CLAN theory

...debunking PT did it

So let me preface this by saying this was 100% inspired by a tiktok comment in a hxh phantom troupe's religious symbolism video back in 2021 (:/). The person who commented made such an impact I screenshotted their comments which unfortunately are not in correct order and messaged them this year (i just know they think im weird) but they never responded. I'd give their @ but its their government name (I take it) so msg me for deets. All credit goes to them as I'm just polishing and tidying these thoughts.

First op talks about Meteor City, a junkyard city inhabited by outcasts. People who live there do not exist on any official records and are treated horribly from the outside, people are taken from Meteor City for crimes, prostitution, slavery and no one's doing a thing to stop it. People go outside and face racism, like the one guy accused of a crime he didnt commit and when the truth is shown no one does anything (think op meant The Bum Incident, vol 11, Chapter 102). These people get no justice, they're just used and this is where the duality of Chrollo comes in, he is a demon to the outside world because he is challenging the gods but also a Jesus figure for the underprivileged Meteor City. Even his reverse St Peters Cross on his jacket means that he feels unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as Jesus. Thats his way of saying he doesnt see himself as worthy of savior. His priority is the Troupe so they can together be seen to the outside world, they are literally a troupe of phantoms, trying to be recognized. This is why when he asks Neon if she believes in ghosts and she says no, she is the oppressor that doesn't understand the one hurt.

If you read the story with this idea in mind you start to observe that the Troupe only attacks people hazardous for the City (mafia, ants) or when they want revenge for one of them killed so its weird they are presented in a positive almost heroic light. Only exception that sticks out to the story? Kurta massacre.

The og commenter wondered why it was that the Troupe was always presented in a positive light. We've known the Phantom Troupe does acts of good alongside the bad but we also haven't seen anything entirely "evil" commited by any of them yet. Most of the legends surrounding them are hearsay. And though they could have easily killed Gon and Killua, they don't, twice. Also, Uvogin when taken by mafia/Kurapika says if freed, they wouldn't hurt them as they are not the target.

Op comments on how narrative should be filtered as its being commented via Gon- a non objective source, they claim that the 1st arc feels like a kid show whereas chimera arc feels dark, thats not to say it is actually like that but as Gon's perspective changes so does the narration. At first when innocent people die, he doesnt really care but in chimera we need a narrator to explain as Gon is too biased at that point. Regarding the massacre we only have Kurapika's word but what we are being told/shown about the Troupe is different. The characters talk about the Kurta massacre, how horrible and brutal it was but the narrative is keen and favors the Troupe, it paints them in a favorable light and why should the narrative do that, they don't become better people like the Ants after all.

From the moment they appear on screen, the narrative wants us to see them as underprivileged, both in York New and in the ship, even when they're fighting in Meteor City, they're fighting for injustice or when somebody hurts them. Then why justify their actions everytime they appear on screen if they massacred the Kurta Clan? If they are responsible for this why make them the underprivileged representation? Both Kurta and Troupe says the op are ostracized by the outside and seen less from people.

Say they did it. 3 ideas were proposed as to why.

1. for the eyes (Chrollo likes the eyes, like Hisoka said but Hisoka is a liar and also Chrollo has never shown interest in the show for them. For someone who steals things he likes, why make an exception and murder here?)

2. for money (that's not correct, we are told multiple times they don't care about it, neither money nor fame, they want to be recognized by the world but how would that work by killing a clan that's been hidden for 100 years, they dont get anything out of it.)

3. for revenge: Revenge for what? Kurta are a peaceful clan that hide for years. We know the Troupe left a note that is the motto of Meteor City (I'm adding here what op referred to: "we reject no one so take nothing from us"). Op says note means they serve justice to their city, when someone takes things away from them so what did Kurta take? From the thematic and narrative point they are not set up to have done it, op thinks thats 100% intentional.

Like said above, BOTH have the thematic of oppression from the outside world, they are a commodity for the rich and powerful (gods) but why is Phantom Troupe put in the light of both, the oppressor and the oppressed? Why would an oppressed group oppress another one for NO good reason? The Troupe doesn't kill innocent people if not necessary, they do NOT care about money or fame and the revenge aspect doesnt work because the Kurta were isolated from the outside.

If we look back at the York New Arc they never state the massacre, they simply suggest it and of course from a Kurapika POV they are guilty but if you look again you have to ask..are they really?

☆

this took ages for me to coherently formulate and ik it goes back and forth but bless op's heart because it changed my perspective completely (more than any yt analysis found online) !

[mazzystar24]

Hello, I hope you are having a good day. I was wondering if I could ask your thought and possible speculation for next episode. I've read what you've answered so I hope this is not a redundant ask.

I know and we all know that this is gonna hurt Buck to feel left behind to be replaced even maybe not feel good enough to be Eddie's friend (or more but my shipper heart need to calm down) and most of us realise that this is most likely, hopefully the time where buck is gonna realise that he feels more towards eddie. But my question is more regarding Eddie, what do you think happens in his pov? Like eddie doesn't have the same problems as buck regarding abandonment issues but he knows buck has them. You think he gonna realise them like during their basketball fight or after (that is gonna hurt to watch) or maybe someone will point it out? And if he realises it would he also go on a journey to realise his feelings or at least have him question why buck feel that and him wanting buck to realise that he should never think eddie will leave him?

And last then I'm stopping cause I don't want to be a bother, but what about Christopher? You think he's gonna be mentioned? Maybe Tommy mentioning him or something switch the flip for buck to start a fight (I know it's mostly and accident but I dont know how else to put it) or eddie uses christopher to anchor him (more episode 7x05 I guess then)? But that feels like the first one hurts way too much and the second like eddie would mask his feelings by using Christopher as a sort os middle ground/shield.

Sorry for the long ask is just that I ve always been the person whose friends preferred other friends and never picked for teams that sort of thing so just the sneak peak hurts to see and I wanted some insight and I've really liked your take on the whole thing. Also, fun fact the only person that did pick me I ended up marrying so eddie please take note lol

Hey anon thanks and you too! <3

I think Eddie’s perspective is super interesting to get into this episode because I genuinely think that he genuinely doesn’t realise that buck could be jealous because in his head he’s reassured Buck so many times and he himself is so self assured in their friendship and their places in eachothers lives that I think it genuinely doesn’t cross his mind at first to even think buck may be jealous. Like you saw him in that sneak peak like he saw buck and started bouncing on his heels like OMG BUCK IS COMING? YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THATS SO GREAT!!!!!🥰😍👏🏽👏🏽

I think like when he sees the jealousy that seems to be apparently directed toward him over tommy(??) and also towards him having other friends that he’ll be a little pissed and hurt and confused inside but nothing like deep or angsty I think he knows buck enough to like understand how deep his insecurities lie and will very easily overcome this little conflict

I don’t think from his perspective he’d question buddie things based off of this because their relationship has always been different than other friendships and buck has always been very insecure in general so he may hash it up to that, but if buck were to point out that not only is he feeling replaced on a friendship level by Tommy and maybe mention something about Marisol it could cause a little 🤨👀👀👀 moment but I think that’s the secret optimist in me

Ah stop don’t worry about being a bother I legit love these asks, on the Christopher front I think that’d be hard to fit in but would be cool to see, like I think that based off interviews it’s supposed to be a very lighthearted episode so I’m not expecting an overt amount of angst. But Chris is such a huge part of Eddie’s life and this is a character driven episode so I can see them mentioning him. Also I sorta made a joke about this but I can see them not so subtly comparing player Chris at the start of the season to this funny little jealousy thing going on between buck and Eddie.

Again DONT APOLOGISE FOR THE LONG ASKS AND I WONT APOLOGISE FOR THE LONGASS RAMBLING ANSWERS (that’s a lie I will continue to do that but I’m a hypocrite) I totally get what you mean like that is such a shitty feeling but I don’t think that this episode seems to be that angsty so hope it’s lighthearted for you too when it airs. That last part was so adorable btw yes Eddie should take notes from you and your spouse 😌

[correctional-transition]

Not trans, don't have a detrans kink, just genuinely curious and it seemed you might be willing to discuss the topic a little. I'm not trying to kink shame but my first thought on detrans was "this is transphobic". A lot of detrans posts I've seen repeat rhetoric that transphobes use in a degrading way or just straight up express positivity towards transphobes. So I kind of just wanted to ask, how is this kink separated from just actual reinforcement of internalized transphobia? Just the consent of the individual? Because even with consent (from an outsider's perspective) it kind of seems like a form of self harm? At what point does the kink stop, bc it seems like a lot of people actually mess up their mental image? Once again, no hate intended I was just wondering if you have an answer for any of these questions

Honestly this goes for almost any and all extreme kinks from cnc, age play, detrans/misgen, orientation play, etc.

I don't judge anyone on their kinks and although I will never understand some of them to the point of enjoying them I can understand a lot of them can be developed from different things.

Now I'd like to make it clear that this is all OPINION and it cannot be true fact as I have done 0 research onto the topic of how kinks start or the statistics of bad vs good (which are all subjective) within kink.

A lot of kinks can be seen as bad to people because it goes against a lot of social acceptance such as the detrans/misgen because outside of kink if you saw that you'd say "wtf. That's transphobic. You're a bad person." Whereas within a consensual kink environment it is more openly used as a form of self discovery, acceptance of the world and even coping mechanism. It can, however, still contain bad apples. You can still have transphobes playing within the kink and these people SHOULD NOT BE and you should ALWAYS watch out for people like these in ANY kink. When it comes to bad apples you want to look out for red flags such as "doesn't separate kink from reality", "doesn't provide aftercare", "doesn't support who I really am", "ignores the boundaries and limits I've placed to keep myself safe". And sadly there are a few people who do use it as a form of self harm so you need to be careful with people like that as their mental health matters but it can impact your own mental health too (both in negative and positive ways)

Kink stops ultimately when someone wants to. Everyone is different. Some people make the kink a reality becomes for some people it was used as self discovery and that's how they realised they may be more comfortable as a woman or man or non-binary etc. Some people stop immediately because they realise they were just trying to hurt themselves with the kink and that's not what they wanted to do.

Thats all I can really say atm off the top of my head on this matter but I'd love for some of my followers to also include their own thoughts and opinions in the comments or reblogs because I think its important to have a collective view/opinion on a matter like this as its completely subjective and so everyone's perspective will be different ♡

[fancyfade]

Hi! Just wanted to say that i love reading your analysis and your knowledge on comics astounds me

Question, do you view any of dc's heroes as autistic? (If thats too much just batfam is fine)

Thank you for all your thoughts and mini essays 💚

Ty!! Glad to hear you enjoy it!

Ok right. So I'm thinking in general about DC characters I imagine as autistic. Batfam is easy to start with b/c I"ve read so much, but I'll include other characters as well

Cassandra Cain (Batgirl) - This is kind of a gimme, almost everyone headcanons Cass as autistic b/c she is explicitly textually neurodivergent (but they do not give her a real world diagnosis) and canonically has problems with language.

Damian Wayne (Robin) - another one I've seen a lot of. He has difficulties socializing that COULD be chalked up to being raised as an assassin, but also.... its in a way that's realistic for very many autistic people :P he also generally does not care about gaining the approval of everyone around him, like he's prickly and often unlikable but he's not trying to be liked.

Barbara Gordon (Oracle) - she reads as so autistic to me. Her conflict with Dinah in the beginning of BoP is positioned in the text as right brained vs left brained, which I think doesn't really make a lot of sense neurologically but does work as words the characters are using to describe things - the just think differently. Babs often reads as if she's coming at things from what in her perspective is trying to be analytical and unemotional (tho I do not think she always succeeds in this), and keeps people at arms length socially.

Bruce Wayne - he just reads as kind of autistic to me :P

Talia al Ghul - same :P

Milagro Reyes (Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle's little sister) - she's not a superhero but she reads as very autistic to me. We have scenes where we see her clearly upset by sudden change, she also acts generally very similar to how I did as a little kid. We see her blocking everyone out by watching the TV when a lot of new stuff is going on in the house.

Raven - NTT Raven reads as very autistic to me as well. NGL just like many other characters this can be explained by other factors (She was raised in a cult in another dimension, taught not to emote, and is fighting off the influence of her demonic father) but also. They keep doing characters that are relatable to neurodivergent people like that ;P

Back when I watched YJ, I had very strong opinions about Kaldur'ahm being autistic. I still do, even tho I don't normally count the animated tv shows in my version of DC

I also feel a case could be argued for Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman. But I am still marinating this in my brain.

[dballzposting]

i feel inclined to add on to that ask abt movies (cuz i love watching movies).

Trunks to me speaks to me as a person who at one point expected the stuff he watches to change him a little. To help him think in a different perspective and challenge his preconceptions or. SOMETHING. hes the kind of guy to try to watch movies like 2001 space odyssey but by the end of it, just looks up the ending explained. he has to try to get anything out of it. I don't think he liked trainspotting. I don't think he knew what to make of The Shining. Trunks would almost certainly try to not get bored at the beginning of Pulp Fiction (the bulk of that movie is talking). But he'll still go see movies in theaters or watch whatever he's got laying around in the house though.

He thinks he's watching movies to gain something but tbh ? Trunks has been watching movies all his life, and it might just feel rly weird to suddenly. not to. If that makes grammatical sense. I think it just gets too quiet in his house. His mom's always working on something in her lab, vegeta's always in his training room, etc etc. so he puts em on to chill. Even if he doesn't really get them sometimes. Bulma seems like the type to do the same thing while she works, maybe he gets it from her.

That's probably why watching movies with goten is so interesting though. He can really get to the core of what it's trying to say, engage with the story and themes on a meaningful level and come up with his OWN well constructed analysis with an infectious enthusiasm reminiscent of the way Gohan talks about entomology.

And Goten, country bumpkin that he is, probably hasn't even seen more than MAX 30 movies in his life (ever) besides whatever soaps his mom leaves on. he's glad trunks invites him over to watch this stuff. At the end of analyzing whatever film they saw I think he'd be like Waow. That was so cool Trunks thank you for showing me this :-) can I borrow this dvd and never give it back and Trunks will be like yeah man thats cool I'm glad you liked it so much. I have a bunch more laying around it's whatever. (He found a lot of these movies in this "guest" room he's never really been inside of. It still has a lot of stuff from before he was born.)

I think that's so interesting.. that Trunks is familiar with the elements present in film but because it's familiar, it's harder to parse how or why these elements are meshed together to make the whole. he's just "watching" them without really thinking about anything and as such, doesn't gain anything.

But because Goten isn't accustomed to watching movies all the time, he can look with unclouded eyes. Not just watching, but observing and taking all of it in.

Its the difference between hearing and listening if that makes sense.

(One last tidbit which isn't super important. I mentioned earlier a guest room. It was yamcha's. When he moved out, he didn't really take a lot of things with him, choosing to leave some of his clothes and most of his movies behind. Bulma probably told him that he could just leave his stuff there in case he ever wanted to visit. The only movie he bothered to take with him was Caddyshack. For some reason. Why)

peace 🌷

I mean this as a kindly reminder and I'm saying this to everyone: you can always make your own post / reblog the post in question in order to add on to it. You can get your name out there. Look alive... It's showtime. I mean I will always faithfully post asks (I cannot guarantee in a timely manner) but never forget your options there.

(For instance perhaps posting your own words on your own post stands to grant them more respect, rather than forcing them through the filter of somebody else's input in order to be posted - as is the reality of sending asks. I can tell when someone really cares, and I appreciate that, and I try to be faithful to that, but I also like to babble. Maybe some posts ought to be stand-alone?)

(Gotta raise my glass to this though becasue i found out today [I would have found out a week ago if I had bothered to check my email] that I may or may not be helping my school start a film club so TBH i gotta appreciate this ..... and I gotta respect the grinde.... It's funny thouhg because you know I actually hate watching movies. When the time comes I ought to come back to you and the other user for recommendations. Well anyway back to the ask)

OK Well this is some real shit you just said. I fully agree. It coheres with what was already said although with some extra sensitivity ...

Reposting this segment for a TL;DR becasue I thought it was an elegant conclusion:

Trunks is familiar with the elements present in film but because it's familiar, it's harder to parse how or why these elements are meshed together to make the whole. he's just "watching" them without really thinking about anything and as such, doesn't gain anything. But because Goten isn't accustomed to watching movies all the time, he can look with unclouded eyes.

I mean really it all comes down to Trunks being a Modern CityBoy; he's used to background noise, he's used to mindless entertainment. Goten doesn't have things in his life that are meant to be taken for granted, though, so that just makes him overall more attentive and appreciative.

That's the greater discussion here ... A veiled call for action for us all to try to look with fresh eyes upon our own lives ....

Really, If Trunks isn't taking to the creative storytelling aspect of it, he should at least take a shining to the technological artistry. Maybe he doesn't care why or when, but he does know HOW they do what they do. That'd be swagg. But then he'd have to do research on something that isn't Minecraft related. Sighhhh

BTW Thanjk you for addsing that Caddyshack bit in there for me. Mondo appreciated <3

[inverted-flowers]

Secret Life Tarot Reading no. 6!

It's Scott's turn!

Quick reminder that as of reading number 5 with Tango these are done after episode 3s have come out. Also! You don't really to know anything about Tarot Cards to enjoy this post. Just understand that I'm using them to predict how our lovely ccs are gonna do in Secret Life.

First Card - Start

So to describe the (now passed) start of Secret Life for Scott I drew The Hanged Man. This card feels like it's more so saying he did well in terms of avoiding rash descions. How? My thoughts are on how while everyone else was taking silly bits of damage, from falling off of things for example, Scott didn't really do that. He did very well in thinking through his situations to avoid losing hearts.

Second Card - Individual

This card is meant to describe how Scott plays this season. I drew The Lovers. This card talks about positive collaboration and how trust in your team provides strength. I'm thinking this is saying Scott plays with a strong bond with his team or at least intends to. He wants to be able to work with his team and trust in them.

Third Card - Social

This card is supposed to describe how things go for Scott on the social aspect. I've drawn Justice in Reverse which discusses dishonesty and one-sidedness. It's funny because at first I was just looking at this card and the one before it and wondering how the heck that could make any sense. They're kind of difficult for someone to have at the same time here ya know? But then I changed perspectives a bit and it makes more sense.

There's a few ways we can take this. Usually when I'm drawing this card when someone's I'm got a team assuming that it's going to refer to their team first and the rest of the server second. Since we're looking for the more major kinda baseline stuff it just makes sense. So I suppose the first idea here is that this card is referencing Scott's social experience outside of his team. I'm not really feeling that theory but it felt best to mention it anyway. The next idea is that the dishonesty is coming from either Gem or Impulse. I'm also not going to completely shoot down the idea that Scott is the perpetrator in either of these. I just think the cards are saying he gets deceived- maybe marinated if we don't mind using Among Us terminology lmao. Someone pulls the wool over his eyes and keeps it there.

Fourth Card - Big Impact

This card is meant to tell us about what has the biggest impact on Scott's season. I drew The Chariot for this. This sounds like he survives something by the skin of his teeth. That or it's describing something like what usually happens to the last green (which Scott has plenty of experience with). If that's the case I'd reckon he sees it coming from a mile away and narrowly avoids it.

Fifth Card - End

I drew The Emperor in Reverse. This card talks about being blind to others needs as well as hiding one's true intentions. This sounds like it could be a callback to our 3rd card. Someone, whether that be a teammate or someone else, decieves him.

Final Thoughts and Theories:

I somehow drew all Major Arcana cards for this reading? Also as I was interpreting this the song Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine by The Killers popped into my head which was ironic with some of these cards. (I always have a song stuck in my head at this point I swear.)

Is he gonna win a second time? This reading certainly doesn't sound like it's giving a definite 'no' but I'm not sure it's a 'yes' either. If I had to make a guess as to how it unfolds I'd say he trusts someone he gets deceived by (cards 3&5) and it does him in. Could he pull a gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss? Sure but thats not the vibe I'm getting. Maybe he gets decieved and it results in him being unable to help his teammates. That would leave him alone after he builds his game around working strong together. If we wanna go back to my previous reading with Impulse, I said there's a chance he betrays or just overall messes things up with Gem & The Scotts. Maybe Impulse stabs him in the back for a task? The task would be the need Scott is blind to here (card 5). There's also the whole thing with how Scott is usually one of the last alive. Those who will be around towards the end of his season are likely to all be red. Yeah we'll see I suppose!

'Til next time! :D

[juicybiohazard]

Yes, finished my first playthrough of separate ways. The game is RE4 remake so I can't say anything about the gameplay that anyone doesn't already know, so... I'll talk about what I really care about here, the story, you see... Ada Wong and Albert Wesker happen to be my favorite characters in this series, I like the AWs yes. Naturally that means that I noticed how different both are from their original portrayals, listen there is a reason why in my mind the one true canon/continuity is the OG games and not the remakes, because its in those older games when I first experienced the RE world and ended up loving these people as they are, so how I could like these new versions of them when they are so different? they may as well be new characters. The appearance is the only thing they share, they are similar to the OGs on a superficial level but thats where similarities end, and of the two I think Wesker is the one that changed the most and not for the better, from little things like his voice not being so distinctive anymore and sounding generic af to his personality being a cardboard cutout of a cartoon villain, some might say, wasn't Wesker always like that? I mean you can choose to describe him as a cartoon villain but any older version of Wesker wouldn't admit to be willing to murder billions and reveal his plan to some random mercenary he doesn't know... he knows better. Even RE5 Wesker wouldn't do that, ever wondered what happened to the scientists that helped developed Uroboros? You get the general idea from multiple files, it looks like they all got killed and essentially they never even knew what they were doing and what was its true purpose

It goes beyond dialogue, even his mood is different, in the old games he is cool and collected in any situation in this game he is easily irritated by ANYTHING 😂 its kind funny how Ada seems to just exist and Albert huffs at her presence, seriously I could go on forever citing each and every single difference between the old Wesker we know and this new take on the character, but I'd rather end this post today

Like I said before in my little RE4 review, my only real dislikes of this game are the changes to Wesker and Ada, and subsequently Krauser. I loved the dynamic of these three in the old game and its completely gone now. They are no longer deeply connected like before, it's all superficial now, they just happen to be in the same place at the same time due to circumstances of fate, not because they know each other. You know what, that sucks, I don't like that one bit because it feels like taking things away just for the sake of making something different. Ada used to be a true grey character, remember Separate Ways was developed for the ps2 version of the game after it launched on GameCube so the times you saw Ada in the OG game where few, far between and the game gives you no reason to believe she isn't genuinely on Wesker's side. Maybe the devs always wanted her to end up betraying him but whatever the case I'd very much prefer if she wasn't just another good guy, we have enough of those and too many haven't returned for a long time (a lot of people still want Billy and Sheva to return). The amount of heroes in this series is astronomical, do we really need another one? why can't Ada at least be in-between? let her believe that ends justify the means at least, let her believe that some good can come out of eugenics, let her believe that the world needs an enema to erradicate true evil. I don't know I'm rambling here, but I hope this made a bit of sense, I always liked the idea of Ada and Wesker going way back and him being the reason she is alive today, meaning she feels she owes him and genuinely cares about him (I admit this might have never been on the table from the devs perspective so this is just how I wish things were for them) but it is what it is, story aside, the game is fun and this DLC is worth every peny

One last thing...

The post credits scene will live rent free in my head for the coming months, it seems more obvious than ever that RE5 remake is in the works, or it will be after RE9 is out. What a crazy time to be resi fan, it looks like capcom isn't going to stop giving us content. Can't complain about that one

[synthshenanigans]

Really Stupid Theory Idea:

(Ive totally definitely cracked the code)

Thinking about this bit from TSE

Soul says the brain is what split them up in the first place (i doubt hes talking about Mind). Going into "Someone help me understand what's going on behind my eyes. Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me" shows how much his sense of identity has been jumbled up since the "brain" is split into three he doesn't know whats happening in his head nor what hes supposed to be. The beginning half of Cacophony has Heart & Mind fighting over Soul/who should control him/take his place, not even trying to view him a person or having his own identity. Especially with Storm & a Spring, Mind saying "A Soul so deep, and dark, and eternally cold and an oath, formed from us both that it would stay whole" saying that THEY are in charge of Soul and are the ones keeping him Whole. So by the time Soul has his song he's 1. Trying to keep the other two from tryin to kill the other again/stop their arguing and 2. Trying to figure out who he and what hes supposed to be. And since in the end of TSE Heart & Mind are still fighting and has no idea what hes supposed to be, he gives up and views tridental regicide as the answer. Its only till Heart & Mind attempt to see the others viewpoint that he can make his own viewpoints about himself and his identity.

Where am I going with this? Well its obvious

(im not going anywhere with this I just wanted to rant about Soul and I made a stupid theory out of it)

I was always confused why Soul looked like this

But also this

Like whys he half colored in Light but other times hes not?

Speaking of Night&Light, who tf is thie fella??

Are you Whole? Are you Soul? Well ladies, gentlemen and the technicolor rainbow in between the answer to that is Yes but also No

That shadowy figure is totally definitely

Soul 2

Now you may say "KJ, soul 2 isnt real, it was just the way CJ was mixing his music/lyrics and he just forgot to fix it"

And I say stfu you're WRONG and im gonna TELL you why you're wrong.

(All lyrics im getting from are specifically from CJ's videos that indicate who says what)

As i said before the line from TSE in the forst photo up top says Soul can't understand whats going on behind his eyes/in is brain/head. He also says this line:

"Open your window look out and see them. Tines stabbed through eyes that the sides have condemned"

While this lyric is usually used for how heart went blind theories, its odd that it says "The Sides have Condemned" the sides being Heart & Mind. And as we know by the lyrics " Heart Mind Slay Soul" and "Fathers of fathers, I know that I'm vile. Let's see how long it takes to murder me. Neither is wrong, yet neither is right. Condemn him to the infirmary" Soul uses their own lines against them and knows how their fighting is a threat himself (also shown by the lyric in Dream). He tries to show that neither side is Good or Evil (the thing they only come to terms with in VoaC) but the very thought of working together and seeing the others side, is said that the person deserves to be Condemned. Which is exactly what the line from Night. A person with another perspective (from the window), and the sides (Heart & Mind) condemn that idea.

However the lyric in Light "Open the window, look out and see me, that sad, sulking mess, this human you're being" is said by the black shadowy character. But thought Soul was in the window? Unless the Shadowy Guy

IS THAT DARKER HALF OF SOUL

Is that idea dumb? Probably BUT you have lyrics like in Two Wuv "The person you see is a dark divided man". Divided can mean both Heart & Mind but also the fact that Soul is divided into 2 colors. But thats up to interpretation you say, well what about the fact that this line from Night (that have {} which are indications of when Soul is singing)

ARE SAID BY THE SHADOW MAN AND NOT SOUL.

Along with this, Soul & Shadow Pal can both say Me when talking about themselves specifically. But when trying to say Me as in all together/Whole, they glitch out and cant say it. Because neither of them are Whole. But are technically the same person/entity

(Two Wuv is also the song where you can point out the parts when which half of Soul is singing. Depending if talking about the point of Cacophony/HMS or the perspective of Whole/Soul 2 when writing about/making the songs themselves. However i dont have enough room for that atm so thatll have to be a separate post (if i make it lol) )

The ending of Light has all of them singing together while physically being overlayed as well.

But you have this one at the final chorus

You see Heart & Mind with the lighter split of Soul together but ALSO the Shadowy Man/the dark half of Soul. You can tell by the fact that none of them are holding a microphone but Shadow Bro is.

Now this has all probably been sad before (i cant remember if anyone did a theory for this honestly i have a bad memory)

But im going further.

So much stupidly further that im claiming these lines in The Whole World And You

Are not mind & heart singing but instead soul & the other half

But maybe technically are?

At that time, the () & [] werent indicating whether Heart & Mind were singing. They were just spitting up the duet lyrics to be more readable.

Yes, the Mind voice is there but the lyrics are more talking about having to be Whole again. Soul & Other One are talking about how them two split and eventually become Whole again. "I hope you're happy now ive merged dark and light" is especially talking about how dark & light/heart & mind are now together again. So the person singing isnt either of them. It sounds more of Whole talking to himself about being split and coming back together again. But the voices still sound like Heart & Mind as well as the lyric colors in the video being black & white (but spining into the opposite colors). Unless,

And this is quite stupid so much so that i dont rlly believe it and wont accept as canon when drawing them

But, at least at that point, the halves of Soul ARE Heart & Mind.

In a way at least. Soul is also his own person/self as well shown by how he talks in TSE & Two Wuv. But he also has lines like "I can feel them stew" in Night or "I won't hesitate to kill my Heart & Mind. I will abdicate these deviants sat inside" or the entire 2nd verse in Two Wuv. Its why he's called the vessel as well, Whole spilts into Heart & Mind leaving Wholes Identity & Self behind. Soul IS his own self (being Wholes identity) but also your emotional & logistical side are apart of your identity as well. Which is why the combined photos in the end of Light are at first split color soul are each halves/are on the sides of Heart & Mind, but also one of all 4 of them being overlayes together with the halves of Soul as full bodies. (Also goes into to the fact CJs original name for Soul was Body a bit as well) . Also why the album cover is Heart & Mind as 2 halves with Soul as the Mask & Whole being the hand that holds it (shown by the nailpolish colors)

Okay im done i originally just wanted to rant about Soul & Two Wuv cos i relate to them a lot. But i had a silly idea and wanted to type it out.

So in an incomprehensible conclusion, there might be 2 Souls/2 halfs of Soul (one of them might sorta be Whole) but they also might be Heart & Mind finally agreeing with the other.

Or something idk im tired and i find this HILARIOUS so im posting it hi

[dandyshucks]

rambling about Guz under the cut hsdhgjkl, CW for abuse and (c)ptsd talk as well as discussion of racism

i've hesitated to say anything about his trauma-caused aggression and anger because i fear it'll be misconstrued by ppl (<- tags on that other post that i'm going off of bc i wanna ramble abt it)

he's not Scary or Violent or Mean. i mean maybe other ppl might view him that way, he might come across that way if you don't know him well, but like.... its trauma. if you were physically abused as a child... yeah. youre gonna come out of that with issues that won't be pretty. you're not going to be the Perfect Victim. you are going to have symptoms and reactions and whatnot that are ugly and difficult and upsetting and hard-to-be-around sometimes.

I am really aware and cautious of the stereotype where many men of colour (mainly black men, but this also includes indigenous men and some other men of colour) are portrayed as being Big and Aggressive, so I have avoided getting anywhere near that, especially since I made the decision to change Guz's skintone in my portrayal of him (which I'm not going to get into, at least rn, but that decision was carefully thought out as well for me). So I always get a bit worried that IF I show any of that side of his trauma, it is going to come off the wrong way.

When I look at him being angry and aggressive in any way, I'm coming at it from the perspective of "this is a man who was a child who was abused and beaten, and he's grown up being taught he needs to Fight, that he needs to be scary in order to be safe, and he is very afraid in a way that translates to anger because that's the way he learned to deal with that emotion." And then we (Guz and co) figure out how to work with that, how to start unravelling all the trauma that's packed into that behaviour, how to start unlearning those reactions and begin working on new ways of Being. He's got a safe environment now, where the people he's around genuinely care about him, where he doesn't have to scare the people around him in order to be respected and safe. Plumes and the squad love him, and Junebug loves him, and he doesn't want to hurt any of them. He also doesn't want to continue that cycle of abuse, doesn't want the grunts or anyone else to feel afraid of him like he was afraid of his dad, nor does he want any of the grunts to feel like they have to be aggressive to be safe in the world.

I'm also aware of the fact that I have white skin even if I am indigenous lol, and the little white-skinned partner appearing to be the "uwu soft niceys" one in the relationship with the big "aggressive" man with brown skin is uhhhh a really fucking awful look! really fucked up! And it's not something I'm interested in presenting to the world, even if it's just in this small circle of the internet. That's a really fucked up dynamic to be putting out there without context lmao.

Anyways, so even if Guz has that shit going on, I'm very careful with how I present it and aware of how it might come across, and if I ever step over any lines, people are more than welcome to holler at me and let me know I've fucked up!

Currently, I figure he was working on shit for a while before my self-insert came along (this is not a case of "i will fix you all by myself" because again... my white skin makes it look like white saviorism, plus I do not think thats a very interesting dynamic for me personally anyways lol, you gotta be putting in a bit of work yourself for me to stick around very long and help you out), and then Junebug showing up was just another motivational force to keep working on his shit. Guz has a good group of people around him and Junebug is just kind of a bonus in the situation. He'd be putting in the work either way, but they're just a little extra boost for him.

I think he’ll always have a bit of a tendency to react with the fight instinct rather than flight or freeze in situations where he is genuinely terrified and doesn’t have time to think through a reaction, but all of the rest of it improves. It’s amazing what a person can change about the way their brain is wired with enough time and effort and support!

[hvwks]

and listen i get it i understand a hefty sizable chunk (honestly, the vast majority) of the fandom wants endeavor dead, rendered useless, written off, etc, for his actions and thats fair and completely valid bc like. its a fictional dude. actions were reprehensible, you may have those opinions.

but... i just... the potential for those kids to finally heal and move forward. and begin a life for themselves free of the shackles that their family's fucked up dynamics created... so much of that can come from seeing what brought you pain and misery and choosing to move forward, anyway. i'm not saying you need to forgive your abuser or anything of that nature. absolutely not. but i can tell you. if... my mother, who spent so much of my childhood and adolescence telling me how useless i was, how i can't do anything right, won't achieve anything with my life, and fostered these severely debilitating neurodivergencies that i know have to be in full-time therapy for the forseeable future with no real "cure" for it (woohoo lets go bpd!) .... so much as apologized to me even once. for the things that i went through. i think i could heal so much of my inner. i wouldn't be fixed compeltely. hell, i will still need to do my dbt worksheets and my grounding techniques. but at least i won't have to spend the rest of my life dealing with a "would she ever say sorry? would she ever recognize what she did to me?"

and the thing is, at least for shoto, fuyumi, even natsuo to some extent.... they are choosing to be there, choosing to listen to the man that made their life a living hell in his apologies. enji didn't force any of his kids to listen to his apologies. much less accept them. and that's said time and time again. shown multiple times, too. the way those kids choose to step up and move forward is completely of their own volition--and whether YOU, the viewer, an outsider's perspective, decide hes worthy of "redemption" (which!! he explicitly said he didn't want! he specifically said he wants to atone for his actions!! not be seen as a completely different person, but the same man who recognizes his evils and is actively making the choice to see where he can make things better, even by a small fraction if he can!!) doesn't change the fact that there are people out there who would give up their pinky toe to have a parent that hurt them so badly acknowledge their actions and apologize for them.

not because it makes them a btter person all of a sudden. but because it gives the people affected by them the chance to find closure and move forward to grow into something new and transformed.

and THAT is why endeavor's survival, ESPECIALLY after the climax of the todorokis vs dabi, would be important to the narrative as well as the overall growth of the todoroki family. dabi felt what it was like, for the first time, to be seen. he's a boy that never got to grow or learn how to handle his very big emotions. he was a victim in all things. whether that was with endeavor or with afo. but the potential for him to see what could be, see where things can, maybe, just maybe, one day become what the little touya that died at sekoto peak always wanted is too good for me to ignore.

[fkinavocado]

i just reread chap 25 of DI and i just wanna say dreea this is my comfort story.attention to every detail,dysfunctional family,not a saviour lover,but a supportive lover,how support and love can save people ,such a lovely love, such a monumetal but a the same time simple but beautiful love story ,it healed me,it made me believe that someday i can have this too no matter how damaged i am and how damaged the other person is ,there is someone out there that will love me through everything , you reminded me of it and i can't thank you enough for that, but i just saw people's reaction to it recently in your blog and it truly breaks my heart cause i see so much of a person's emotions poured into it so whoever wrote al those criticism,remember that dreea wrote a very realistic story with trauma and sensitive issues ,she never said it was a fairytale,the way she's writng it ,thats how life is and when ur critisizing it you are ignoring that a lot of the emotions ,incidents,things that are happening in the story ,how the story is going could be reimaginations of the author's real life emotions,(maybe),but when your reading a realistic fiction/fanfiction you should know that nothing ends like a fairytale and when ur asking the writer to stop at somewhere when they put so much of themselves into the story ,its no longer feedback or criticism its just something very wrong.you're not only taking away a writers will to write but also invalidating the writer's heart that she poured into it thus ignoring her feeling AND also the feeling of the readers that relate to it.this might be a new perspective but a perspective nonetheless so please think hard before coming here and criticising cuz at the end of day an app like tumblr,and things like fanfiction ,writing /reading is for escapism people come here as an escape ,away from all the criticism not to drown more in it we have enough critics out there as it is let's not bring em here too how about that!

but alas could go on forever about this but im just gonna say dreea pls whater you do with DI i want you to do what you would've done initially ,what your heart wanted initially, not what others want because remember we,the ogs, loved the DI that you created from your heart not the one you will make just to satiate other's expecations of you.DI is your most lovely baby.i love you and i'll wait for you however long it takes for your heart to beat like it used to for DI again.love you soo much!!XD

i'm literally crying reading this. i finally feel like someone GETS IT. i feel whole again after reading this. i swear to god. i've had other ppl reassure me and send me love for DI and encouragement, but you worded it perfectly and i just-- i don't know how to thank you. like, i swear it healed me.

everything you wrote is 1000% correct, that's exactly how i feel about everything. y'all don't understand how much this fic means to me... and how much it's been killing me to feel like i was being told their story was wrong, invalid, irrelevant etc. even if those exact words were not used, that's what it felt like.

it was my story to tell, and people were slapping their palms over my mouth telling me to quit it with that nonsense. they didn't want that. they wanted the fairytale and i wasn't delivering!

it made me upset. but mostly, it made me so sad. this was always a story about two broken people finding eachother and healing themselves by being together. and now it felt like people were mad at me for not having them be perfect all of a sudden. "there's always something wrong, something bad is always happening to them, problems from the past haven't been solved yet and others are already being created etcetc". like-- yeah. because just because you're healing and found your soulmate (because this is what i think they are) doesn't mean life is just gonna be hunky-dory from there on out. life is still gonna throw shit at them. the real challenge now is to face obstacles together and not let them ever set them apart ever again. to prove their growth through the lessons they've learned the hard way.

i just felt like nobody was getting what i wanted to do with the story.

again, i'm generalizing because i know so many others have been there for me too, and i thank them also and have been amazing supporting me all throughout and ever since that happened. i'm not taking away from the importance of their presence here at all- please don't misunderstand me! but i'm just saying- this particular person that wrote this ask put it into words perfectly and it all just clicked within me. like it finally feels right again...?

i'm still crying. i'm so happy.

thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. i don't know who you are... but i'm forever indebted to you for reaching out and telling me this. i really needed to heart it. i can now finally finish telling their story the way i always intended to!

i truly don't know how to better express what i'm feeling. i'm so grateful to you. and to all of you who have stuck around ❤️❤️❤️❤️ it means the world to me.

i'm going to pin this post to my blog cause this is what i'm most proud of- i've got lovely, big-hearted, like-minded people here that get me, that appreciate my work and this is the reason why i'm doing this in the first place!

all my love to you ❤️