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rafesplaymate · 4 months ago

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First Encounter.

Bestfriendsboyfriend!Rafe x Bimbo!Reader

⋆. 𐙚˚ 𑁤 navigation. ⋆. 𐙚˚ 𑁤 masterlist. ⋆. 𐙚˚ 𑁤 euphoria au masterlist.

chapter visuals here.

warnings: slight smut. infidelity (not on reader). choking. dumbification. immoral thought process. substance use (drinking while driving.) power dynamics. dom / sub dynamics. toxic behaviors. manipulation / gaslighting. slight coercion / dubcon?

a/n: i am so hyped to release this AU. been playing around with it for a while. i decided to use maddy’s name from the show so im sorry if you’re a maddy. Her face claim is NOT alexa demie, can be anyone you imagine. not verbatim to the storyline / scene —my version of it —btw they’re all out of high school. enjoy!

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Bang. Bang. Bang.

“M’fuckin busy! Fuck off!” Growls Rafe breathlessly, too entranced by his sweet doll who he’s pounding into the door. Pressing sloppy kisses to her cheek as he groaned into her skin; her bruised bottom lip hidden behind her front teeth in an attempt to keep her volume down as he presses her body to the bathroom door. But breathy moans and whines couldn’t help but slip past her swollen lips. The heat they built up in the restroom almost suffocating. Harsh breathes and moans of pure desire being passed to one another. He’ll be damned if he lets some stupid party-goer ruins this for him. Something he’s been dying to have.

“Rafe?!” His girlfriend knew that voice, wondering why she hasn’t seen him around the party. “Are you serious?! Open the fucking door, I have to pee! I’m not fucking around! Where have you been?!” she shouted, her voice full of vexation as she continues fumbling with the knob and banging on the wood from the other side. Sure, they’d been on a ‘break’ since their latest fight, but the was still her man and she wants to know what the hell he’s up to.

As for Rafe and y/n, the realization of who’s on the other side of the door —makes time stop. Their bubble of passion and intoxicating ambience getting popped. He looks at his doll’s eyes widen with immense fear, her lips parting to speak and the only thing coming out being a squeak when he shoves his large hand over her mouth. Her beautiful doe eyes looking into his as he presses her to the door and catches his breath. Mind calculating at the situation.

“Sh, relax —told you to trust me, didn’t I?”, he whispered gruffly to her; his eyes glaring with warning as he pressed her harder into the door. The banging from his girlfriend on the other side shaking her half-naked body as fear and anxiety drips from her eyes in the form of tears. “Don’t fucking cry. I swear to god —don’t. Just relax.” His voice softened slightly to accumulate her compliance once more.

He watched as her body relaxed slightly until the banging started up once again and his girlfriend started shouting for him to let her in once more. “Are you taking a shit? I can smell it, you’re fucking gross!” She mocked with a laugh, her hand jangling the knob once more. He watches as his doll’s hand comes down to press against it, keeping it in place as her eyes look at him for resolve, tears dripping down once more.

“I told you to stop crying, are you fuckin’ serious right now?” He reprimanded her, dragging his hand down her face to grip her throat while he repositions himself to hop her higher and adjust her body. “If you start trippin’ she’s gonna find out so, chill.” He mocked her, leaning his head in with his infamous smirk as he brushed his lips against hers. Not too deterred by his girlfriend on the other side. In fact the thrill sets him off and he begins grinding into her once more.

Her eyes flutter with the feeling as she relaxes her body once more, thighs widening around his waist as her manicured hand grips the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah… there you go. Sh, just let me take care of it —of you, alright? No need to worry that empty little head. I got it.” He whispered against her mouth, his chest burning with satisfaction at her submissive whimpers as she whines under her breath.

“Bu-but…” she starts up, her sweet voice filled with guilt as her brows furrow once more in worry. Looking deep into his cobalt eyes as he domineers her with his presence. “She’s my best friend.” She whines sweetly, her voice shaky and demeanor racked with culpability. It makes Rafe want to ruin her that much more, determined to break down her faithfulness to the girl on the other side. It should only be to him, he’ll be damned if it doesn’t happen.

“What about it?” He mocks under his breath, grinding his hips into her once again, watching as her brows furrowed and lips formed an ‘O’ and she fell into his being easily, brain going fuzzier from his cock in her. “She’s my girlfriend, but you didn’t mind too much when you were taking your panties off in my car to show me this pretty pussy, did you? Or when you were kissing and rubbing up on me.” He ridicules her for her earlier actions, for the reason she’s even in this position to begin with. Gaslighting her into believing she was the one who started this, even though he’s the one who knotted the web he caught her in.

“Don’t worry about what she is. Just worry about being good for me, and I’ll take care of it. Kay? Told you that your loyalty lies with me now.” He whispered to her, pressing his lips against hers softly as his girlfriend’s resolve broke and she walked off with a scoff. Leaving the two alone once more —just as it should be, in his mind.

“See? Nothing to worry about. Now where were we.”

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If Rafe said he was surprised he ended up in this position he would be wrong. Because he’d been dying too, ready to claim the little doll he’s had his eye on since the relationship with his girl has fallen into the flames of irreparability. Their toxicity no longer fun and draining as he find himself wishing he’d never got to this point in the first place. Or got with her.

But oh…. her sweet, little best friend has been the salvation he’s been dreaming about. Her mindless way of being consuming his every thought as he calculates how to catch her in his grip. How to ensure she becomes his, and his alone. Friendships and relationships be damned.

And it seems his constant thoughts of her finally manifested in real time. Smirking to himself as he walks out the door of the liquor shop he stopped by to get drinks before heading to Topper’s. His doll faced fantasy sitting outside on the sidewalk in her tiny little dress and cute heels as she sniffles to herself. Glittery eyes decorated with equally glittery tears as she drinks her sorrows away. Tired of the constant berating from everyone around her. Exhausted even.

The perfect time for Rafe to be her knight in shining armor.

“Hey,” he spoke out after leaving the shop. Coming to tower behind her, as he stares down at her. Watching as her gorgeous face turns up to look at him, eyes focusing on him with a false innocence that has every guy on the island vying after her constantly. Tits spilling out of her small dress, cute lace thong peeking out from the short skirt and her position on the sidewalk. French tipped toes in strappy heels pointed together as her knees held against each other. “What’s going on with you? Aren’t you suppose to be at the party? Where’s Maddy?”

He watches as she shrugs, looking down and letting her tears fall onto her smooth legs, that gleam under the moonlight with body glitter and lotion —as pitiful sobs rack from her chest once more. She’s the epitome of pathetic and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take advantage of it.

“We had a fight. She dumped me here. Said I was too dumb for her to be around. Too much.” She whispered pathetically, caving in on herself as her blinged, manicured nails fiddle with each other. Her cute nose twitching like a bunny as she sniffles —a baby bunny he’s determined to eat up and savor like the big bad wolf he is.

A scoff leaves Rafe’s mouth as he shakes his head. Lips quirking at the sides, as he speaks to her with insincere consolation in his voice. His pathetic girl, of course she’s too much. Head too empty, and in need of constant guidance. A little lamb wobbling on her weak legs as she attempts to walk and luckily she has him to guide her like a sheppard.

Everyone knew y/n was an airhead —a bimbo. As sad as it is to say, it’s completely accurate. She’d always been too sweet and too dense for her own good, with a banging body and pretty face. Maybe not the sharpest crayon in the box but she sure as hell was always the prettiest. Her point constantly dulled out by the way she was used —by everyone around her. Taking turns and fighting over who gets to color with her. Rafe is the one who’s determined to break her in half and keep her in his pocket. Completely unusable to anyone else except for him.

He remembers when he met her back in high school. Bouncing around Tannyhill during one of Rafe’s functions; in her skimpy outfit as her plump chest practically spilled out. Little, g-string nestled between her cheeks as the bottom of her tiny skirt lifted with her movements. Stumbling around in strappy heels, with manicured toes. Her body shimmering with glitter and flawless complexion shining under the strobing lights of the party. Pretty eyes decorated with sparkles and plump lips glossed as she giggled at the boys surrounding her.

She was the complete opposite of his girlfriend —her best friend. Both equally as beautiful, equally as stunning. But two completely different demeanors. Yin and Yang. Night and Day. Sweet and Salty. And that’s why they worked so well, that’s why they clicked. But that’s also why Rafe realized he had a sweet tooth way more than a savory one. Feeling like he chose the wrong meal when he preferred dessert as he observed her more and more over time —the more and more his relationship fell apart.

When he’d first met Maddy during the end of his junior year, he’d been completely entranced by her domineering and confident attitude. Equal to his and intoxicating. She was a challenge, something to conquer. A kitten with sharp claws he wanted to tame and let scratch him. She had been moving around enticingly in her skimpy cheer uniform during one of their pep rally’s, her sharp eyes gazing at him with desire as she seduced him. She was everything he wanted in a girl. At least that’s what he felt at the time.

Now 3 years into their relationship and he’s really understanding the saying that not all the glitters is gold. Thinking with his dick got his throat ripped out constantly by the lioness he succumbed too. His relationship was quickly and surely falling into the toilet and he was completely ready to flush it away. Tired of the constant fighting, the constant paranoia of setting her off and exhausted from the way she constantly set off the ticking-time-bomb he was.

Him and maddy were nearing the end —that was forsure. At first their toxic attitudes colliding was fun —thrilling even. Now though, it was anything but. She was sick and tired of his dodgy demeanor and asshole tendencies. His need to dominate her and the way he lashed out when he couldn’t. He was sick and tired of her constantly picking away at him, leaving him exasperated as she yapped away anytime he did something she felt was out of bounds. The constant battles for power, the constant attempts at enticing jealousy, the constant paranoia and possessiveness, the constant screaming matches —on both ends.

The sex was getting dull. In fact, it already was. So tired of her bullshit and constantly pressing her face into the sheets just to shut her the fuck up and get his nut in. His desire for her wearing off to the point that he felt like he couldn’t get it up anymore. In fact, she’d already ridiculed him for not being able to keep his dick hard. That’s when he knew, that any passion he may have once had for her had completely weaned away. And all they did was beat an already dead and rotting horse. It was time for something fresh.

The more his relationship declined, the more he noticed y/n. Fuck, she was so sweet. Like a delicate chocolate crafted with the intent to make everyone addicted, with just a taste of her presence. One he wanted no one else but him to savor. Sweet giggles and charming smiles, the way she hugs everyone with her chest pressed tightly to theirs. An air of glittery, demure charm that made everyone want to be around her. Gorgeous body, pretty face and an head so empty he swears if he knocked on it —it would sound hollow.

But the more he observed her, the more he noticed everything. Her constant need for validation, her lack of confidence. The way she so easily fell for anyone who gave her the slightest bit of soft affection. The way she clinged onto people like a stray needing shelter. Sad eyes hidden behind kind smiles, and charming giggles. The way she caved in on herself when she someone disregarded her. It was perfect, the perfect canvas for him to mold at his whim and every desire. The only thing that stopped him was her devotion to her best friend.

Maddy and y/n had been attached at the hip since they were pre-teens. Their friendship may have seemed tight from the outside perspective, but Rafe knew the truth. Their whole circle did.

Maddy saw y/n as her accessory, someone she could manipulate when convenient. Her doll to play with and use however she desires. Constantly speaking to her with a patronizing and condescending tone hidden behind faux care. Berating her with soft words of fake love. Dragging her around whenever she wanted, to wherever she wanted and disregarding her whenever just the same. Making her submit constantly. And y/n let herself, she felt like it was real-genuine love.

So it’s no surprise to Rafe that Maddy tossed her out after a fight. That’s just what she does, to everyone. No regard for anything that isn’t benefiting her. But he should thank her, because she created the perfect situation for him to get what he wants and he’ll be stupid not to take the opportunity. Maybe she was Maddy’s doll to play with, but Rafe would steal her and make her his and his alone. Like a limited edition that only he would have access too.

“Well, uh” he started, staring down at her with pure mischief in his gaze that she would never catch onto. His pathetic girl who needed someone to scoop her up and protect her from the cruel reality surrounding them. “I’m headed over there right now, I could give you a ride. If you’re up to it?” He said sincerely, watching the way her eyes lit up with cheer as the sadness washed away. That bright smile he adores, once again adorning her gorgeous face as she squeaks out a, “really? yes! thank you!”

He walks to stand in front of her and extends his hand out, letting her smaller one grasp his palm as he lifts her up from the sidewalk. Watching as her dress rises up more with her movements and exposes the tiny g-string she wore. His eyes immediately falling to the wrapped up present between her legs as she let out a ‘whoops!’ and adjusts her dress. Pulling it down like it did anything, her ass was still hanging out.

“C’mon, Top’s waiting on me.” He said with charm, gripping her now by her upper arm as he tugged her to the passenger side of his truck and opened it up for her. Letting her grip his hand to step onto the side bar as she lifted herself up —watching as her ass showed from under the dress until she tucked herself away into the passenger seat. “Thanks Rafe”, she told him sweetly. Giving him that pretty smile while he just nodded his head and returned it. Shutting the door and quickly jogging over to the driver’s side.

Once he gets in, he immediately starts the engine —putting his arm over the passenger seat and turning his head back to guide himself out of the parking space. It’s when he turned back forward after reversing and putting the car into gear that he noticed her staring at him. “Got something on my face, or what?” He jokingly griped, turning to look at her as she looked at him with her head tilted —observing him.

“Hmm, no. You’re just like, really pretty you know that?” She giggled, her faux lashes fluttering as Rafe’s lips quirked at the corners from her comment. One foot into the black hole that was Rafe Cameron, one step closer. “Yeah? Well I could say the same about you, doll.” He quipped back, watching as her smile widened and she leaned her body closer to his. Rafe’s fingertips burning with want as her sweet smelling perfume invaded the truck and his senses.

“You’re just saying that,” she said softly, turning her head to look out the window as she fiddled with her tinsled hair. “Nah, I mean it. You’re beautiful.” He said with confidence, watching her turn back to face him as she clung onto his words. Observing the way he reached his arm back to grab a beer out of the case he bought. Biting the cap off and spitting it out before placing it between her parted thighs, then reaching back to grab another for himself. “Um… I’m-I’m already a little buzzed.” She admitted, staring at the beer on her lap after he bit the cap off his; spitting it on the center console. Throwing it back and taking a big chug as he sped down the dark road to Topper’s.

“Y’know, it’s rude to decline a drink from someone who’s being so nice to you.” He drawled, left arm steering the wheel as his he brought the bottle to his lips and took another swig. ‘Future’ playing lowly in the background as he turned to look at her. Watching as she looked at him with guilty eyes and bit her pretty lips between her teeth. “Oh,” she stated softly, grabbing the beer and fiddling with it. “M’sorry Rafe, didn’t meant to be.” She said sweetly, bringing the bottle to her lips as she took a swig —clearly nervous. But the way she did exactly what he said was perfect.

As they both continued to take swigs of their drinks, tension and silence filled the car. Rafe staring at her every once in a while with a look that screamed want. Her looking at him with worry every few seconds when he began speeding up the car. The mileage amping up as they zoomed down the dark road. Her blinged acrylics gripping the seat to ground herself. It’s when Rafe went over a bump and the beer held in between her legs spilled over did she react. ‘Oh!’ she gasped at the cold liquid splashing on her legs.

She began giggling with embarrassment, unbuckling her seat belt and turning to wipe down any that fell on the seat as she looked at him with a coy smile. Rafe staring at her with an impish smirk as he watched her scamper with nerves. Finally settling back down and finishing off what was left of her drink as she held eye contact with him.

“Yeah… you’re real beautiful, doll.” He said with a bewitching tone. His eyes full of burning want that even her dumb, little brain could catch onto. She knew that look, that look in men’s eyes when they vied after her. And she reveled in it, reveled in Rafe’s attention —his validation.

As if entranced, with slow, sensual movements she lifted the skirt of her tight dress just a bit —hooking her thumbs against the edges of her g-string. She lifted her hips and with soft movements, began rolling the material down her thighs and legs seductively. Rafe’s gaze flickering between her little show and her gaze filled with unadulterated desire —when he didn’t need to look at the road. She bit her bottom lip between her teeth as she finally got them off her legs and threw them in the back. Lifting herself to push her upper body out of the open window and spreading her legs to show him the wetness between her legs.

Keeping eye contact as she spread herself open for him until she titled her head back and pushed out her plump chest sensually. Hair swaying cinematically in the wind as she posed for him. Rafe’s entire body burning ablaze and filling with triumph as she fell right into his lap. His eyes lowering to her cute pussy that he wants to ravage and own. Fuck yeah. He was gonna have her, take her. Make her his.

His sweet, little bimbo. His doll.

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When they finally pulled up to Topper’s she had been bent across the center console on her knees; pressing desperate kisses across his cheek and neck. Manicured hand rubbing over the bulge in his pants as she moaned against his skin. Rafe’s left hand white from gripping the steering wheel while his right arm was around her back —hand groping her ass as the tips of his fingers teased her wetness. “Fuck —baby” he started, bringing the truck to a halt outside of the function. Listening to her whine as she pressed sloppy kisses all over him and rubbed his hard-on. “We’re here, doll. Gotta stop.” He watched as she pulled back with a whine, her eyes full of dejection as she moved away from him.

“Did I… did I do something wrong?” She mewled, rejection filling her body. Rafe gripped her by the back of her head, leaning his body over the console and bringing her closer till heir lips met in a sloppy, harsh kiss of tongue and teeth clashing. When he pulled back, a string of saliva kept them connected —her eyes fluttering with lust as they stared into each other. “You didn’t shit wrong, baby.” He scolded while shaking her head in his grip. “Nah, in fact you did exactly what you’re suppose to.”

He watched as her eyes lit up, leaning herself into him as much as she could with the barrier. The alcohol buzzing through her veins alongside her burning desire for him. Her head fuzzy and filling up with thoughts of Rafe, Rafe, Rafe. Needing him to do whatever he pleases with her just as long as he keeps giving her attention and love. That’s all she wants, all she needs. Especially from him.

Rafe stopped her before she could connect their lips again, bringing a hand to grip her face and hold her in place as he spoke to her with firmness. “Hey, listen. I know it’s hard for that little brain to think but I need you to listen to me, okay?” He told her, needing her to understand it’s his word that takes priority. Her head nodding as much as it could with the grip on her face. Eyes digging into his own as she awaited his command.

“That’s a good girl, so good for me already.” He praised, watching as her expression changed into satisfaction. Her eyes full of adoration. Perfect, it was all coming together just as he wanted. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, now listen to me very carefully”, he urged. Slowing his words so her head full of air can catch onto them. “M’gonna go in first, okay? Then m’gonna to the upstairs restroom and I want you to meet me there. You know we can’t walk in together.”

The look in her eyes was quickly replaced penitence, the feeling of remorse sinking deep in her gut —filling her body and setting her nerves ablaze. Her need to be loyal quickly filling her senses with the fact that she was kissing on her friend’s man. Her best friend, at that. She tried to move her grip from his face, but Rafe quickly caught on. “Hey, no —relax. We’re not doing anything wrong, doll.” He cooed, consoling her guilt and trying to appease her now anxious demeanor.

“But-“ she tried to start up, quickly cut off by a gruff, “But nothing.” He said harshly, tightening his hold on her as her body tensed with fear at the thought of Maddy finding out. Rafe wouldn’t let that happen, not until he made her —his. She didn’t need to be loyal to anyone but him, least of all Maddy.

“Your loyalty lies with me now, okay? Don’t worry about Maddy, you know we haven’t been good for a long time.” He assured, but the guilt flickering on and off in her gaze was still there and he was determined to snuff it out completely. “She doesn’t care about you. But, I do. I just wanna take care of you, baby. Want you to take care of me too. M’gonna make sure everything is okay, gonna protect you. So stop forcing yourself to think so hard, you know that’s not your thing.” And that was enough for her, her head immediately going back to its dazed state as she relaxed in his grip. Her resolve deflating completely.

“O-Okay” she faltered, letting herself breakdown at his whim. Letting her head fill up once again with only him. “I trust you”, she vowed. Letting herself fall that much more into his black hole of a being. And it’s all Rafe needed to hear, all he needed to know that he gets his way —always. She was going to be his, bound to him completely. Maddy nor even herself would be able to stop it —no. This was the beginning of a relationship that would set ablaze everything they knew. He was more than prepared to either snuff it out or add gasoline to the fire if needed.

Just as long as she knew her place. Knew what she was and who she would dedicate herself too. He would break her down, take away everything she knew. He would ensure she had no one, nothing but him. Destroy what was already left of her mind and wavering self-esteem so she would be completely dependent on him and him alone. It wouldn’t be now, but it’s a start. One he’s determined to finish and come out in triumph.

“That’s my doll. Now be good for me and do as your told. I’ll see you inside.”

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a/n: phew! the first installment set. i didn’t want to copy the scenes verbatim, more so use them as inspo. i hope yall enjoy! pls let me know what you think! much love!

taglist: @littlelamy @xcinnamonmalfoyx @slut-4-gojo @hello-therree @atjlovverr @letmebeyoureuphoria @chroniccorpse @percysley @rafecameronssl4t @rafesangelita @lilbunnysfics @honeyncherry @jjsmermaid @cecehersworld @lethimultraviolenceme

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theetherealbloom · 6 months ago

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You Got Me So In Love, I've Never Been This Possessive

Summary: While on a scenic boat trip along the coasts of Malta, you bask in the crystal-clear waters, and laughter with Pedro’s cast and crew. Despite his injured arm keeping him on the boat, Pedro can’t keep his eyes off you.

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader

Warnings: Established Relationship, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Nudity, Slight Angst, Swearing, Anxiety, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Cameras, Swimming, Bikini, Flirting, Teasing, Cast, Pedro Fell Down The Stairs, ER visit, Hurt-To-Comfort, Mild Spice, Banter, Idk Spanish so the terms might be wrong but I'm trying my best

Word Count: 5K

A/N: GOOD MORNING CHICKENS!!! Y’know how I said there would be a part two? Yup. Also, I know no one asked, but back in High School, I fell down the stairs… A LOT. Like every year for six years. No major bones were broken, only a sprained ankle every time I fell down the stairs, so in a way I guess I was lucky. PSA to always hold the hand railing, and like Pedro said, it can happen to anyone!

Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!

Song: Te Quiero by KISS OF LIFE

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PASCAL RESIDENCE, CHILE — AFTERNOON

The sun bathed the Pascal family home in a golden glow, the air filled with the scent of freshly baked empanadas and the gentle hum of conversation. You were seated on the patio, your legs tucked under you, watching as Pedro animatedly retold a story from his teenage years. His siblings—Javiera, Lux, and Nicolás—listened with rapt attention, their laughter bubbling over when Pedro’s dad chimed in with his version of events, insisting Pedro had exaggerated again.

“Exaggerated?” Pedro placed a hand on his chest, feigning offense. “I would never! Everything I say is 100% true and scientifically proven.”

“Scientifically proven to be full of nonsense,” Nicolás teased, earning a round of laughter.

You couldn’t help but grin, soaking in the easy camaraderie of the family. Pedro’s hand found yours under the table, his fingers lacing with yours in a way that felt like second nature. He glanced at you, his dark eyes soft with a love so deep it made your chest tighten.

“Tell them,” Pedro said, turning to you with an exaggeratedly serious expression. “Tell them I’m not lying.”

You bit back a laugh, tilting your head in mock consideration. “Well… the story did sound a bit too good to be true.”

“Et tu, mi amor?” he groaned, but the corners of his mouth quirked up in a smile.

Javiera, ever the ringleader, stood and declared, “Enough storytelling! Let’s put her to the test. If she’s going to be part of this family, she needs to learn brisca.”

Pedro leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “Fair warning: They’ll gang up on you.”

“Good thing I’ve got you on my side,” you murmured, a soft blush rising to your cheeks.

“I’ll always be on your side,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple that sent a shiver down your spine.

A FEW HOURS LATER…

The sun had dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the yard. Pedro had wandered inside to grab more drinks for everyone while you stayed on the patio with Lux, discussing her latest project.

The sound of a crash shattered the peaceful air. You froze, the glass in Lux’s hand slipping and shattering on the ground.

“Pedro!” you gasped, bolting toward the house.

Inside, you found him crumpled at the base of the stairs, his face pale and contorted in pain. Nicolás was already at his side, his hands hovering uncertainly as if afraid to make things worse.

“Call an ambulance!” you shouted, your voice shaking as you knelt beside Pedro.

He looked up at you, his breaths shallow and uneven. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” he said through gritted teeth, but his wince betrayed him.

“You’re not okay,” you said, your hands trembling as you gently brushed the hair from his forehead. “What happened?”

“I missed the last step,” he muttered, trying to manage a weak smile. “Guess I’m not as graceful as I thought.”

“Pedro, this isn’t funny,” you whispered, tears pricking your eyes.

Javiera appeared with the phone pressed to her ear, speaking rapidly to the emergency dispatcher. Lux crouched beside you, her face pale as she reached for Pedro’s uninjured hand.

“Help’s on the way,” Javiera assured you, her voice steady despite the panic in her eyes.

Minutes felt like hours as you waited for the ambulance. You kept your focus on Pedro, your hand gripping his tightly. “Just breathe, okay? I’m right here. You’re going to be fine.”

THE ER — EVENING

The antiseptic smell of the hospital hit you as you paced the waiting room, your heart pounding in your chest. Pedro had been whisked away for X-rays, and you felt helpless, the absence of his hand in yours leaving you cold.

When the doctor finally emerged, you rushed to meet him, Javiera and Nicolás close behind.

“Mr. Pascal has a broken arm,” the doctor explained. “It’s a clean break, but he’ll need surgery to set the bone properly. We’re scheduling it for late January.”

Relief and worry collided in your chest. “Can I see him?” you asked, your voice small.

The doctor nodded, and you followed the nurse to Pedro’s room. He was sitting up in bed, his arm in a temporary sling, his face pale but his smile still intact.

“Hey, troublemaker,” he said, his voice softer than usual.

You crossed the room in a few quick steps, perching on the edge of his bed. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” you said, your voice breaking as tears spilled over.

Pedro reached for your hand with his good arm, his thumb brushing soothing circles over your knuckles. “I’m sorry, mi amor,” he murmured, his eyes glistening.

You leaned forward, pressing your forehead to his. “I thought… I thought something worse happened. I couldn’t breathe until I saw you.”

“I’m here,” he whispered, his voice steady despite the pain. “And I’ll be fine. Especially with you by my side.”

You kissed him gently, pouring every ounce of love and relief into the touch. As his lips moved against yours, you felt the fear begin to fade, replaced by the overwhelming gratitude that he was still here with you.

“I’ll take care of you,” you promised, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

Pedro smiled, his gaze tender. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you said, brushing a tear from your cheek. “You deserve the world.”

And in that moment, surrounded by beeping monitors and the sterile walls of the hospital, it felt like nothing else mattered but the two of you.

FORT RICASOLI, MALTA — DAY

The sun was high over Fort Ricasoli, the Mediterranean breeze carrying a salty tang as waves crashed against the nearby shore. The reconstructed Roman Colosseum loomed grandly in the fort, its grandeur a perfect backdrop for the epic Gladiator II production. You stepped out of the transport van, sunglasses shielding your eyes from the bright Maltese sun, a bag slung over your shoulder filled with Pedro’s essentials—medication, snacks, and a cold water bottle you knew he’d try to avoid drinking unless reminded.

As you walked toward the set, Pedro spotted you first, his face lighting up in a way that made your heart ache with affection. He was seated in the shade near the makeup tent, his left arm encased in a royal blue cast that made him look both ridiculous and endearing.

“Hi,” you called, setting your bag down beside him. “I’m here to be your nurse.”

Pedro’s grin widened, his dark eyes softening. “You’re more than my nurse. You’re my lifesaver. And I love you so much.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his forehead. “How’s the arm?”

“It’s humiliating,” he muttered, holding up the cast as if it were a mark of disgrace. “Everyone keeps staring at it. Or laughing. Or both.”

“There’s nothing humiliating about needing help once in a while, my love,” you said gently, brushing a curl from his forehead. “Besides, it’s a great conversation starter.”

“Oh, yeah. Real smooth. ‘Hi, I’m Pedro Pascal, and I fell down a flight of stairs like a medieval jester.’”

You smothered a laugh just as Joseph Quinn sauntered by, pausing dramatically to give Pedro an exaggerated salute. “How’s the mighty warrior today? Still battling gravity, I see.”

“Go away,” Pedro groaned, waving his good arm dismissively.

“You’re a walking PSA now,” Fred Hechinger added as he passed. “Don’t text and walk down stairs, kids!”

Denzel Washington approached next, shaking his head with mock solemnity. “And here I thought I was the one who’d pull a stunt like that.”

“Traitors,” Pedro muttered, pulling you closer as if you could shield him from the teasing.

Coco, his ever-sassy hair stylist, smirked as she fixed his curls. “Just make sure she doesn’t trip over your ego next.”

“Coco!” Pedro whined, but his cheeks flushed, his pout making him look boyish and undeniably adorable.

Ridley Scott ambled over, his tone a mix of concern and exasperation. “Take it easy, Pedro. You’re not 25 anymore.”

“Gee, thanks, Ridley,” Pedro huffed, pulling you against him as if seeking comfort.

The day pressed on, the heat making Pedro’s clinginess somehow both unbearable and heart-meltingly sweet. Despite the steady teasing from the cast and crew, he stuck close to you like a second shadow whenever he wasn’t on set, his blue cast drawing as much attention as his ever-present pout.

During a break, he tugged at your hand, a soft whine slipping from his lips. “Go with me?”

You glanced up from the book you were pretending to read. “Go where?”

“Craft services,” he said, gesturing toward the shaded area where snacks and cold drinks awaited. “I’m starving, and I need moral support.”

“You literally just had a protein bar,” you teased, but stood anyway, slipping your hand into his.

“As long as you hold my hand,” you added with a smirk, letting him lead the way.

His good hand entwined with yours, his thumb brushing lazy circles over your skin as you walked. “You know I’m not letting go, right?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Reaching the craft services tent, Pedro made a beeline for the iced lemonade, his cast making the process comically awkward. You reached over to help him hold the cup steady as he poured, ignoring the amused glances from the crew around you.

“I got it,” he insisted, though his pouty tone betrayed his frustration.

“Sure you do, Mr. Dexterity,” you teased. “Here, let me.”

As you steadied the cup, Paul Mescal appeared beside you, a mischievous grin plastered across his face. “What’s it like being Pedro’s personal assistant and cuddle therapist?”

Pedro narrowed his eyes, his body shifting slightly as if to shield you from Paul’s teasing. “She’s an angel,” he declared, his tone defensive. “Unlike all of you degenerates.”

Paul laughed, grabbing a handful of chips. “Touché.”

Connie Nielsen joined the growing group, her warm smile softening the teasing atmosphere. “An angel with the patience of a saint,” she agreed. “He’s lucky to have you.”

You squeezed Pedro’s hand, glancing up at him with a playful glint in your eye. “Oh, I know.”

Pedro leaned down, his voice low and sweet in your ear. “Remind me to buy you something shiny and expensive later.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you whispered back, brushing a kiss to his cheek just as Coco walked by, her ever-present smirk firmly in place.

“Are we making out by the lemonade now?” she quipped, adjusting Pedro’s wig as she passed. “Just don’t knock over the drink dispenser, Casanova.”

Pedro groaned, but you could see the corner of his mouth twitching, betraying his amusement.

When Pedro was shooting, you stayed nearby, perched under an umbrella with a bottle of water and a timer set for his next dose of medication. He’d been restless all morning, constantly checking in between takes to make sure you were still there.

The moment the director called cut, Pedro scanned the area until his eyes landed on you. A small smile tugged at his lips as he made a beeline toward you, his costume slightly dusty from the action sequence.

“Hydrate,” you ordered the moment he reached you, holding out the water bottle.

He wrinkled his nose but took it, his good hand struggling to unscrew the cap. You wordlessly reached over to help, earning a sheepish look from him.

“You know,” he said after a long sip, “you’re bossier than Ridley.”

“You love it,” you countered, wiping the sweat from his brow with a small towel you’d tucked into your bag.

Pedro’s lips curved into a soft smile, his gaze lingering on you. “I do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “A little too much.”

Your heart squeezed at the tenderness in his tone, and you reached up to brush a stray curl from his forehead. “Good. Now go back to work. Ridley’s glaring at us.”

He glanced over his shoulder, spotting the director gesturing for him to return. “Fine,” he grumbled, but not before pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

As he walked back toward the set, Ridley shook his head, a faint smile on his face. “That woman of yours has you wrapped around her little finger.”

Pedro shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. “Don’t I know it.”

THE XARA PALACE RELAIS & CHÂTEAUX, MALTA — EVENING

The day had taken its toll on both of you, but by the time you returned to the cozy luxury of the hotel suite, Pedro’s exhaustion only seemed to amplify his need for affection. As soon as the door clicked shut behind you, he flopped dramatically onto the small couch, casting a forlorn look your way.

“Come here,” he said, his good arm extended toward you like a lifeline.

You chuckled, slipping off your sandals. “I thought you were tired.”

“I am,” he replied, his lips twitching into a pout. “But I’ll sleep better if you’re right here.”

Shaking your head fondly, you joined him on the couch, only to be pulled down against his side the moment you were close enough.

“It’s too hot for this,” you teased, trying—and failing—to push against his firm hold.

“Don’t care,” Pedro murmured, nuzzling into the curve of your neck as if you were the only source of comfort in the world. “You make everything better.”

You sighed softly, your resolve melting as your fingers found their way into his curls. They were still slightly damp from his post-shoot shower, and you gently combed through them, marveling at how they always seemed to spring back into place.

“I think that’s the heatstroke talking,” you quipped, though your voice was warm with affection.

“No,” he said, his voice muffled against your skin. “That’s the love of my life talking.”

Your hand stilled for a moment, the weight of his words settling over you like a gentle wave. You pulled back slightly to look at him, but Pedro didn’t let you get far. His warm brown eyes met yours, brimming with sincerity that made your breath catch.

“You’re insufferable,” you said, though the tremor in your voice betrayed how deeply his words had affected you.

“And you’re perfect,” he countered, his tone so soft and certain it made your heart ache in the best way.

Your cheeks warmed, and you leaned down to press a tender kiss to his temple. “You’re lucky I love you,” you whispered, your lips brushing against his skin.

Pedro grinned, his good arm tightening around you as he pulled you even closer. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

For a while, the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, the soft hum of the air conditioning blending with the distant sounds of the Maltese evening outside. Pedro’s breathing began to slow, his head resting heavily against your shoulder as he drifted off. His cast was awkwardly propped up on his chest, and you carefully adjusted a pillow beneath it, not wanting him to wake up sore.

As you gazed down at him, his face relaxed and peaceful in sleep, your heart swelled with a familiar ache—one born of overwhelming love. He might’ve been clingy and dramatic, prone to complaints about his cast and the heat, but he was also tender and selfless, with a way of making you feel like the most cherished person in the world.

You traced the curve of his jaw with the tips of your fingers, marveling at how even in his sleep, his hold on you never loosened. He was steady and constant in a way that made you feel safe, loved, and utterly at home.

He might’ve fallen down the stairs, but it felt like you were the one falling—deeper in love with him every single day.

Later that night, as the two of you lay tangled together in the king-sized bed, Pedro stirred, his voice groggy but laced with warmth.

“Are you still awake?”

“Barely,” you murmured, your head resting against his uninjured shoulder. “Why?”

He shifted slightly, his fingers grazing over your arm in lazy circles. “Just wanted to say… thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me. For putting up with me being clingy. For loving me even when I’m ridiculous,” he said, his voice soft but earnest.

You smiled in the darkness, pressing a kiss to his chest. “It’s not putting up with you, Pedro. It’s just loving you. And it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

His breath hitched, and he leaned down to press a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, his words carrying the weight of unspoken emotion.

“You deserve everything,” you replied, your voice firm despite the tears prickling at your eyes.

Pedro’s arms tightened around you, and in that moment, the world outside the four walls of your suite seemed to fade away. There was only the two of you, tangled together in love and gratitude, the promise of another day together stretching out before you like a gift.

And as you drifted off to sleep, cradled in his embrace, you couldn’t imagine a place you’d rather be.

COASTS OF MALTA — MORNING

The morning sun bathed the harbor in a soft, golden glow as you and Pedro stepped onto the pristine deck of the yacht, greeted by the lively chatter of his castmates and the crew. The day promised adventure—an exploration of Malta’s dazzling coastlines, including the famed Blue Lagoon, Crystal Lagoon, and the secretive caves on Comino. The air smelled of salt and freedom, and the water, impossibly blue and inviting, stretched out like a gem-laden carpet before you.

Pedro lingered close to you, his blue cast slung in a casual sling, though it didn’t stop him from giving your hand a light squeeze. He leaned down, his voice low and teasing.

"Don’t get too excited," he murmured with a grin, his dark eyes gleaming. "You’ll make me look bad."

You bumped your shoulder into his, rolling your eyes. "I can’t help it if I’m more fun than you."

"More fun? Or more distracting?" His gaze flicked briefly to the bikini peeking out from your cover-up, his expression bordering on predatory before he quickly masked it with a playful smirk.

“Behave, Pascal,” you teased, your cheeks warming under his intense stare.

As the boat cruised toward its first stop, the Blue Lagoon, the mood was light and cheerful. Connie and Fred lounged near the bow, animatedly swapping stories with the crew, their laughter carrying over the soft sound of the waves. Coco flitted around like a hummingbird with her camera, capturing candid shots of the lively group. Near the railing, Paul was attempting to teach Denzel a ridiculous dance move, the two of them tripping over their own feet and causing more chaos than rhythm.

You stood near Pedro, feeling the sun’s warmth on your skin, the gentle breeze teasing at your cover-up. A playful grin spread across your face as you untied the knot at your waist, sliding the fabric off and tossing it onto a nearby lounge chair. The vibrant bikini beneath was perfectly chosen—bright and bold against your skin, hugging your curves in a way that made you feel confident and beautiful.

Pedro, seated comfortably in the shade with his injured arm resting on a cushion, froze mid-sip of his drink. His gaze locked onto you, his eyes darkening as they traced every inch of your form. Appreciation was clear in his expression, but it was the simmering heat in his stare that sent a thrill down your spine.

You stretched your arms over your head, feigning oblivion to his attention as you joined Coco and Paul in their antics. The movement made your waist curve just enough to draw a quiet groan from Pedro’s lips, which didn’t go unnoticed by Coco. She smirked, leaning down to whisper as she passed him.

“Subtle,” she teased, her voice dripping with amusement.

Pedro didn’t even attempt to hide his grin. His eyes stayed glued to you as he shrugged, unapologetic. “Can you blame me?”

Coco snorted. “Not one bit. But maybe cool it unless you want everyone else to notice how thirsty you are.”

“Let them,” Pedro muttered, mostly to himself. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he watched you laugh with Paul, the way your body moved under the bright sun making it nearly impossible for him to look away.

When you caught his eye and shot him a playful wink, his good hand flexed against the armrest of his chair, the urge to pull you back to him almost too strong to resist.

Later, as you leaned over the edge of the boat, peering down at the water with Paul pointing out fish, Pedro’s voice rumbled low behind you.

“You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?”

You turned to find him standing close, his cast resting awkwardly at his side. “I am. The water’s beautiful,” you said with a smile, but his eyes weren’t on the water.

“They’re not the only thing,” he murmured, his gaze dropping to the curve of your hips, the dip of your waist.

Heat bloomed on your cheeks, but you couldn’t help the grin that tugged at your lips. “Pedro Pascal,” you teased, stepping closer. “Are you flirting with me on a boat in front of all your castmates?”

“Flirting?” He scoffed, his voice rich with amusement. “I’m just admiring. Can’t a man admire his girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend?” you repeated, arching a brow.

He smirked, leaning in just enough for his breath to ghost over your skin. “The girlfriend,” he corrected, his voice dropping into a tone that sent a shiver racing through you despite the heat.

You bit your lip, glancing around at the others, who were too distracted to notice the charged moment. “Behave yourself,” you whispered, though your heart raced at the way his good hand brushed lightly against your hip.

He grinned, leaning back with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m trying, but you’re not making it easy, sweetheart.”

The way he said it, rough and low, had your stomach doing flips. The teasing sparkle in his eyes told you he knew exactly the effect he was having on you—and he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it.

When the boat anchored near the Blue Lagoon, you practically bounced with excitement. “I’m going in!”

Pedro chuckled as you grabbed your snorkeling gear, pausing to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Try not to miss me too much,” you teased before hopping off the boat with an elegant dive.

“Not possible,” he called after you, his voice tinged with laughter.

The water was cool and crystal clear, every ripple catching the sunlight like scattered diamonds. You swam alongside Coco and Paul, laughing as he tried to outswim everyone only to splash clumsily when Coco teased him about his lack of grace. Schools of fish darted around you, their silvery bodies glimmering in the lagoon’s shallows, and the thrill of the moment made you forget the world beyond the sparkling blue waters.

Pedro watched from the deck, his good hand cradling a drink as his cast rested on his lap. He smiled softly, his heart swelling at the sight of you. You were so effortlessly kind, so radiant, laughing and splashing with his friends as if you’d known them your whole life.

“She’s really something,” Ridley remarked as he joined Pedro at the shaded table.

“Don’t I know it,” Pedro replied, his voice warm with pride.

“She’s good for you,” Ridley said simply, his tone laced with a rare softness.

Pedro glanced at the director, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. She’s my soulmate.”

Later, you clambered back onto the boat, droplets of water clinging to your skin, sparkling in the sunlight as they traced lazy paths down your arms and legs. Your grin was infectious, the kind of radiant joy that could light up an entire room—or, in this case, the deck of the boat. Pedro’s eyes were glued to you, as though the rest of the world had faded into the background.

“Having fun?” he asked, his voice tinged with amusement but warm with affection.

“The best,” you replied breathlessly, grabbing a towel and wringing out your hair. “You should’ve come in with us. The water is incredible.”

He raised his cast dramatically, pulling a mock grimace. “In case you forgot, I’m a bit handicapped here.”

“Oh, poor baby,” you teased, crouching beside him. You leaned in to press a playful kiss to his cheek, your lips lingering just long enough to make him sigh. “Next time, I’ll stay on the boat with you. We can sulk together.”

Pedro’s good hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer before you could stand. “Don’t you dare,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble in your ear. “Watching you have fun out there is the next best thing to being in the water myself.”

You arched a brow, motioning to your bikini with a teasing grin. “You mean you like the view.”

Pedro’s lips curved into a slow, devilish smirk. His mouth brushed your ear as he whispered, “I love the view.”

The heat of his words sent a shiver down your spine, making your cheeks flush. You swatted at his chest playfully before standing and tossing the towel over your shoulder. “Careful, Pascal. You’re not supposed to overheat with that cast on.”

The boat anchored near the caves on Comino, the turquoise water shimmering like liquid glass. Pedro waved you off with a mock sternness, insisting you go explore while he stayed behind.

“I’ll hold down the fort,” he said, settling back into his chair with a small smirk. “Don’t get lost in there.”

You rolled your eyes, blowing him a kiss before diving into the water with Paul and Fred. The group swam toward the darkened entrance of the caves, their laughter echoing off the limestone walls. Inside, the sunlight filtered through cracks, casting dancing patterns on the rocky surfaces.

Pedro, stuck on the boat, didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. His gaze followed you like a shadow, lingering on the curve of your body as you moved effortlessly through the water. Every so often, you glanced back at the boat, catching him watching you. He didn’t even pretend to look away, his expression soft, adoring, and entirely unguarded.

When you returned, dripping wet and exhilarated, you plopped down beside him with a dramatic sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“You’ve been staring at me all day,” you teased, your tone light but your heart pounding at the intensity of his attention.

Pedro turned his head slightly, brushing his lips against your temple. “Can you blame me?” he murmured. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten. You tilted your head to meet his gaze, your hand finding his on the armrest. “You’re laying it on thick today,” you joked, though your voice wavered just slightly.

“It’s the truth,” he countered simply, his thumb brushing across your knuckles.

Your moment was interrupted by Paul’s exaggerated wolf whistle from across the deck. “Get a room, you two!”

Fred chimed in with a loud groan. “Some of us are single and fragile!”

You laughed, your head falling back briefly before you turned to Pedro, lowering your voice so only he could hear. “They’re just jealous.”

“Damn right, they are,” Pedro said, leaning in close. “You’re all mine.”

The possessiveness in his tone was playful but sent your pulse racing nonetheless.

Later, as the boat rocked gently in the open waters, you sat on Pedro’s lap, his good arm wrapped securely around your waist. The sun had begun its descent, painting the sky in hues of pink and gold.

“Pedro,” you said softly, your fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on his thigh. “Can we stay like this forever?”

His eyes softened as he looked down at you, his smile tender. “I’d stay here with you forever if I could,” he replied, his voice filled with quiet certainty.

The weight of his words settled over you, grounding you in the moment. You bit your lip, leaning in closer until your noses brushed. “Please just kiss me already.”

Pedro didn’t need to be asked twice. His lips captured yours in a kiss that was slow and deliberate, full of unspoken promises and a depth of feeling that took your breath away. His hand splayed across your back, pulling you impossibly closer as the world around you seemed to disappear.

When you finally pulled apart, his forehead rested against yours, and he let out a soft laugh. “I think you might be my soulmate,” he said, his voice a mixture of awe and certainty.

Your eyes searched his, and for a moment, the noise of the others and the gentle lapping of the waves faded entirely. “I think you might be mine too,” you whispered, sealing the moment with another kiss.

Laughter and chatter echoed around you, the boat a hub of joy and togetherness, but for you and Pedro, time seemed to stand still. In his arms, surrounded by the beauty of Malta and the warmth of his love, you knew you were exactly where you were meant to be.

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janecafe · 2 months ago

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future spouse's pac: reasons why they choose to love you every time

uno - dos - tres

paid readings available here

masterlist

©janecafe 2025

˚⊱🍀⊰˚

₊˚ʚ 𝐔𝐍𝐎 🪅 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

i just wanna be more authentic here. your person is a class that doesn't believe in love, they think it's just human fabricated and imagination well perhaps this may be because they have not yet experienced the feeling of "love". their beliefs and practices affecting their perspectives of what love really looks like. i think they're insecure about themselves and may have a gloomy heart about the topic of affection. so the time they infatuated with you, they will experience many first times. the reason why this person love you so much is that you were the first person to show care for them, it's like a natural characteristics of you.

i think you will work with them, in a project. it will take months for this person to grow feelings and as the time you're gonna know about their feelings, it's also gonna take more time for you to mirror these emotions with them. this seems like a slow burn yet a very assured love. when i say it was their first time to be in love, i speak about--a real love, the feeling is different and because they love you because of you.

the second thing is that you're not afraid to show yourself well despite the hesitation and nervousness you feel inside most of the time. you have this mindset where; "who's gonna do this? i have no one to rely on but myself needs me more". because of this positive aspect it's energizing you to do the task completely. i heard you might be insecure and have a public speaking anxiety but this bright side of your profile always gets you to wake up in reality. although your voice comes out in a full you can feel and hear your heart banging loudly inside when interacting with strangers. i feel that you have a high frequency, you may frequently noticed people at the public, staring at you without any reason. sometimes you felt awkward and embarrassed.

another thing to add to the list is that, despite that you are someone who is quiet and gentle. you have a great humor, i think people who are close to you like your jokes but most of the time these gags are overlay from you telling the truth. its like you are saying what's real behind those. well, this person will love your humour too. you are making them laugh even with their bad days, it makes their cheeks hurt. most of time, people don't understand the two of you because you two are the ones who master of each other's understanding. they love how you try your best understand them in every way possible without judgement this is how they fall deeper to you to the point they are willing to protect you to those people who would try to harm you physically or emotionally.

★ check the previous pac

₊˚ʚ 𝐃𝐎𝐒 🪅 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

ohh, la la la. they be willing to be stripped and get cold for you. love makes them crazy, i think they have a circle where most of their friends are in love in such a way they tell themselves that, "love makes you an idiot and crazy bet i'll never be like that" not until you come and knock the hell out of them. their perception on love turned around like 360°, is indeed make them insane. they feel you are so rare that's why they have a strong feelings for you. even in afterlife, they be willing to chase and make love with you haha. this reading becoming out of the topic, well the thing that makes them choose to love you is that, you give them an unquestionable loyalty.

you show them the best version of themselves which they didn't know before because all this time they think they already reach that--- that they reach the top of themselves. your presence makes a huge difference to them. it's not a big deal, it's neither your fault for them to change but it was their decision. they embrace and love it. another thing is that you are a home and a light, it's like a feeling of waking up that sunlight hitting your face. they love it when you give the best comfort especially when they really need one.

i think they will pursue you in such a very long way and with the time you are gonna them love too. they'll be like; "finally, my happiness choose me". from their expectations and imagination they already love the life that you two were building.

you are their muse of art. the root of their inspiration. the star in the darkest days. they can metaphor you with everything, make you poems with so fondness of words. they're lucky that they are able to love and see you in this lifetime. and the day they will meet you, is the day they will share their wind-gentle love story.

★ check the previous pac

₊˚ʚ 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒 🪅 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

the first thing i heard is that--- you make them marveled in love. they love how you send cute messages whenever they're at work. they think you are the most unexpected thing that happens in their life, they didn't expect you to come and boom their world. you shake things up i swear. they feel that they're bad person and nobody will ever love, they feel that they don't deserve you and their love. but you make them realize that love can make change. love makes you better. they love how patience you are with them and they are so forever grateful for that.

i think you give your best to match their energy and they really do appreciate your efforts. this slaps them that you are the one that they are willing to spend with for the rest of their lives. they want to love you much better than you do to them.

they also love your kisses and hugs. it makes their knees weak. and trust me, they'll try their best to match and give you the best communication. your encouragement and care was the ones they choose to love you every day.

another thing, they appreciate and have a soft spot for you when they take care of them when they are sick. when you make them food even though they don't usually ask for it. although most of the time you make something stupid they realize that you are the person they want for the rest of their life. i considered that their love for you was better and stronger than others.

★ check the previous pac

˚⊱🍀⊰˚

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wise-writer-girl · 2 years ago

Text

This song called me an anxious perfectionistic people pleaser with a fear of failure and disappointing people in like 8 different languages, what the motherfuck-

Now they're screaming that they hate me. Never wanted you to hate me

#castles crumbling #sntv #speak now taylor’s version #taylor swift #im in agony #high functioning anxiety #fear of letting people down #fear of failure #vault tracks

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a-hermit-pining · 9 days ago

Text

LaDs Men in Book Tropes

AN: for fun because I love AUs

Pairing: LaDS boys x gn reader

Genre: fluff and crack

Ingredients: 100% fluff

My Fav: hmmm all ig (but Rafayel and Zayne were fun to imagine.

Xavier (mafia boss x student):

You look threatening.

Elegant. Composed. A dagger in one hand, the other resting lightly against your hip. But your slacks are tailored within an inch of their life, and your thighs?

Xavier refuses to blink. Partly out of defiance. Partly because pins and needles are currently climbing up his leg from where he’s been zip-tied to a steel chair for the last hour.

And that’s when your left-hand man mutters something low.

You still. Your gaze narrows. “What do you mean he’s not the right student?” you snap.

Xavier turns his head slowly. Trying very hard not to wince at the sudden cramp behind his knee.

“Tell me,” you say, your voice like a blade slipping under skin, “you did not just kidnap a random man off the street?” The silence answers for him.

Xavier blinks once. Deadpan. “I was literally eating ramen.”

Your henchman tries to defend himself. “He ran, boss. He ran when I asked for his name—”

“Yeah,” Xavier cuts in, shrugging as much as his bindings allow. “Because a man with a neck tattoo and three guns asked if I owed money.”

You sigh. Fold your arms. Lean against the table. “Joke’s on us, then.”

It gets worse.

Because not only is Xavier not the debt-ridden student you were trying to scare straight. He’s a detective. A bored, off-duty, highly observant one. And your organization just gifted him a front row seat to all your illegal operations.

He doesn’t look worried. At all. In fact, he smirks. “So,” he says, tilting his head at you, dark eyes gleaming, “this where you tell me I’m your fiancé now?”

You arch a brow. “Do you want it to be?”

Rafayel (Office Romance):

You’re the creative director. His boss.

And he’s your trusted, anxiety-inducing, dangerously talented graphic designer.

Every time he disappears from Slack for more than five minutes, you feel the phantom grays sprouting at your temples.

So when Rafayel lands in this world, his heart’s a mess.

Because why the hell are you in a three-piece suit on a Thursday? Why are you speaking in PowerPoint? (He doesn’t realize there’s a conference.)

He goes through the full rom-com shbang...blushing at close proximity, nearly yeeting his stylus when you lean down to adjust his brush settings. He would be outraged by your bossy interference... if this version of you didn’t look so competent doing it.

You bet he becomes the undisputed champion of in-office work. Remote who? He's commuting through a hurricane if it means lunch breaks with you.

He silently laments not being your assistant. The daily chaos? The tension? The dramatics? That’s the kind of messy office romance he lives for.

Zayne (Jock x Nerd):

Zayne has approximately 25 breakdowns the second he realizes he’s been transmigrated into a high school AU.

Why him? Why now? What ancient evil has he offended? This is worse than open surgery without gloves.

And then he sees you, leaning casually against his locker in a lacrosse jersey, with a dopey grin and the faint scent of Axe trailing after you like bad decisions. You’re radiating school spirit and main character energy. The golden retriever jock.

He looks down at himself: books clutched like a shield, glasses sliding down his nose, striped polo tucked into khakis.

Oh no. He’s the nerd.

He goes completely still when you reach out and push his glasses up with two fingers, like you've done it multiple times. He hasn't hit the growth spurt yet so you lean down while doing it. Dammit.

“Tutoring in period five?” you grin.

He blinks. Swallows. Soul exits body.

This is it. This is his villain origin story. Or worse, his slow-burn romance arc.

Sylus (match maker):

“You are my worst client,” you snap, slamming your planner shut so hard your pen jumps. “You’re going to die alone, General Sylus. Your sword might be your only lifelong companion.”

You’re trying so hard not to throw your teacup at him. But unfortunately, treason is still illegal.

Match #23. Another perfectly elegant, emotionally stable, high-ranking woman. Gone. Sent running by him.

You’re down to your last lead, your last shred of credibility, and you swear if one more noble family calls to "check in on your progress with the charming general,” you’re going to fake your own death.

This was supposed to be easy. He was supposed to be easy.

A war hero. Stoic. Loyal. Families should have lined up to offer their finest daughters and strongest family swords.

But no. Sylus defies every known law of socialization.

“Making her dig for a brooch?” you bark. “In the rain, Sylus?”

He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t even blink. Just raises his teacup, and smirks. That slow, infuriating, battlefield-smirk that somehow makes you want to both kiss him and knock him out.

“If she can’t find a brooch,” he shrugs, “how will she find a way to my heart?”

You scream internally. Outwardly, you smile. Professionally. Barely.

One more match. And then you’re done. Or in prison. Possibly both.

Caleb (Idol x Bodyguard):

This is his dreamland.

You. All the time. Every damn second.

He’s not even ashamed of it.

Because this you. the idol version of you. is free. Untouched by the mess of the other lifetime. And Caleb? Caleb is thriving.

Your bodyguard. Your shadow. Your guard dog. The reincarnation of Cerberus himself.

He stands next to you on red carpets. He scans every crowd before you hit the stage. He has a black folder of “threatening letters” and a second one for “bad fanfiction.” He has read all of it. He will not talk about it.

And backstage? Oh. The jealousy he inspires.

He gets to see it all, barefaced you in pajamas, you blowing raspberries at the vocal coach, you dancing with one sock and a protein bar.

The fandom eats it up. They ship you both. Hard. They make memes. Fan cams. Slow motion edits of him holding an umbrella over your head.

Is he labeled a fandom traitor? Absolutely. Is he proud of it? Yes.

He zips up your jacket when you forget. Keeps track of your vitamins. Carries four backup chargers, three types of gum, and a taser.

And when you fall asleep on the van ride home, head resting on his shoulder, he doesn’t move. He barely breathes.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #love and deepspace caleb #love and deepspace headcannon #love and deepspace x reader #sylus x reader #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #zayne love and deepspace #caleb x reader #love and deepspace reaction #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #gn reader #fluff #crack fic

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illyrianbitch · 1 month ago

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Breathe

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel has a panic attack. You help him through it.

Warnings: panic attack pov, symptoms of anxiety (heavy breathing, dissociation, bad mean internal narration), lots of talks of fear, breathing exercises, comfort/care

Word Count: 3.6k

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

Azriel didn’t notice it at first— not really.

But his shadows did.

They curled in close, drawn silent and taut, as if bracing for something, getting ready to soothe him like a newborn babe.

It always started quiet. Or, it used to, when it happened more often. Like pressure building— something soft at first, something creeping.

Azriel shifted in his seat at the end of the table, half in shadow as he often was.

He blinked once. Twice.

He realized, rather quickly, that he was too warm.

Not the kind of warm that settled into your bones on a sunny day. Not comfort. No, this was the kind of warmth that crawled across his skin. Under it. Sticky, stifling. His leathers suddenly felt too tight, like his chest couldn’t fully expand.

He shifted again, pushing himself to focus on Rhysand’s voice once more. On the words his brother, his High Lord, was speaking.

Nothing was wrong. Not really. He was seated where he always sat, in the same chair, in the same meeting room, listening to the same details about the same rotations and intelligence reports. Nothing was out of place. Everything was all as doomed, as dismal, and as hopeless as it had been recently.

They were losing a war. And Azriel knew it.

The conversation turned toward intelligence failures– intercepted reports, broken leads.

Azriel couldn’t stop his thoughts from growing louder. Faster. Those were another failure on him. On his abilities, his spies. He’d fucked up. Again, and again. The one thing he was good at, the one thing he was supposed to do— and he couldn’t.

No, no. Stop. He couldn’t afford to think like that. He’d been doing better. Azriel, deep in his rational mind, knew it wasn’t his fault. Not entirely, at least. Koschei was unpredictable. His devoted followers hadn’t been something anyone could’ve predicted — Children of the Blessed who had found another ruler to worship. Another god to bow to. That wasn’t on him.

But it was… wasn’t it? It felt like a failure.

His shadows stilled around him, began calling to him in the way only they could. But Azriel couldn’t pay attention. His mouth was dry now. His hands were cold.

And there was something curling in his chest. A pressure. A discomfort. A wrongness inside him, like something off-center. He was sure of it. A flaw, like some thread pulled too tight.

Az tried to anchor himself. Tried to focus on the sound of his brother’s voices, the crinkle of paper beneath his hand. But his thoughts were racing ahead — spiraling.

The room was too loud.

He gripped the edge of the table. Attempted to draw in a deep breath. When it resisted, when his lungs protested against the strain of his ribs— broken many times before, he opted for flexing his fingers. Uncurled them. Tried to breathe through it once more.

This was pathetic, Az thought bitterly, the sharpness of his own anger swallowing up all other thoughts. The soft voice that tried to tell him he wasn’t to blame for everything was drowned out. It sounded so much like a younger version of himself. And something else, too— a voice that sounded awfully like his mother.

Azriel had been fine this morning. Hadn’t he?

So why, now, was he in such pain? Why was his throat tight? Why couldn’t he breathe?

He needed to breathe.

None of this was real. It was all in his head. It would pass.

He was fine, he repeated in his mind, even as his wings twitched– betraying him before he could catch them. A subtle flex at first, a slight stiffening in his membrane. Defensive, instinctual.

He tucked them in closer to his back, as if he could subconsciously make himself smaller, less visible.

He was losing it. Gods, he was losing it and he couldn’t even stand without drawing attention—without someone noticing, without Rhys or Cassian giving him that look.

His wings spasmed again—this time sharper, a visible shudder that raced down the spine between them. Panic, the primal kind, began to bleed into the edges of his breathing.

Not real. Not real. He clenched his teeth so hard his jaw ached.

He barely noticed when Rhysand’s voice faded into nothing, when the world outside of his own body dulled to a low hum. His vision blurred, not outwardly—no, that would’ve been merciful—but inside his mind. Thought tangled over thought until all that remained was one screaming, splintered thing: move.

Azriel refused to give in to that weaker, fearful side. He refused.

So, instead, he forced himself to lift his head– to act like he was still present. He gripped the edge of the table harder, forcing another breath through lungs that refused to expand. He forced his body to stay still even as every part of him screamed to run.

His eyes caught yours immediately.

You weren’t speaking. You hadn’t been speaking for a while—Az realized dimly that you’d fallen silent when he had.

You were staring at him, a brow furrowed in confusion, eyes darkened with worry. Real, devastating worry— written across your face like you’d felt his unraveling in your bones, like you knew exactly what he was fighting.

You always did that, Az thought briefly. Noticed things. Noticed him. Even when he tried to disappear, buried himself in shadows and distance and the anger only he knew how to hone, you still saw him.

And you were another thing he’d fucked up. Another thing, another person, he’d failed.

His panic hit him like a punch to the chest.

A wild, churning thing inside him lurched loose—sharp and wrong and too much.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think.

Not here. Not now.

Azriel tried to push to his feet smoothly, tried not to let the room tilt sideways around him. The scrape of his chair on the floor was deafening. His wings flared slightly behind him — a startled, instinctive reaction — before he forced them down again with trembling effort.

He didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. Couldn’t.

He just needed to get out. Get out.

By the time he stumbled into the hallway, the panic was a roaring thing in his chest. His wings kept twitching, muscles seizing like they couldn’t decide whether to shield or flee. His shadows seemed to pulse in time with his heartbeat, gathering in dark, frantic swirls at his feet, then dissipating and flickering against the walls, like they were trying—desperately—to anchor themselves, to pull him out of the fear gripping him.

The world narrowed to the thud of his boots and the pain in his chest. He was shaking now — his hands, his arms, his breath. He couldn’t get a full inhale. He couldn’t slow down. His mind was spiraling. He didn’t know where he was going.

Get out. Just get out. Get out get out get out.

He reached the end of the corridor, but his vision was still tunneling. He staggered sideways, shoulder slamming into the wall. They were getting closer. Tighter.

Get out.

He needed air. Real air.

Needed out.

He winnowed. All instinct, like a broken wild animal on the run from something it knew it couldn’t beat. And then—he landed. He didn’t even know where he was going until the cold hit him.

Dirt. Grass. Night air.

He fell to his knees in it.

Hard.

It knocked the breath out of him. He doubled over, fingers clawing into the earth. Trying to ground. Trying to focus. Trying to breathe.

Stupid. Stupid. This doesn’t happen. You’re fine. You’re not a child.

But he couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t stop the rising panic clawing up his throat.

You’re a joke. You’re unraveling. You’re slipping and they’re going to see. You’re a liability. A fucking mess. You’re going to ruin everything—

He shouldn’t have been like this — he’d trained for worse, he’d handled worse. His shadows crowded him, trying to ground him, to pull him back, just as they did when he was three hundred and covered in blood. Twenty-two and angry. Eight and afraid.

It didn't work. They were just more noise. The pressure behind Azriel’s ribs sharpened. His skin itched. He couldn't tell if it was sweat or fear crawling over him.

A cold wind rushed over his skin, sudden and powerful. And for a second—just a second—it grounded him.

Then the panic surged again. Harder.

His fingernails dug further into dirt, the movement straining and pulling at the tight skin at his hands, the raw tendons and everything that was wrong with him.

He couldn’t fucking see anything. Couldn’t focus. Azriel was sure his heart was breaking itself against his ribs. He pressed his forehead to the ground, desperate to disappear into it. The skin between his shoulders was buzzing, crawling with invisible ants. The old, familiar impulse to tear his way free, to snap bone and tendon if it meant getting out—getting away—scratching out the thing inside him he couldn't reach.

Somewhere, deep in the marrow of him, the boy he'd once been was crying. Somewhere, even deeper, the soldier he'd become was roaring at him to stay still, stay quiet, get over it.

Azriel was vaguely aware of the wetness on his cheeks. Of a choked gasp that sounded too much like him. His shadows were scared now, concerned, louder as if they were trying to be louder than the voice in his head. But it was no use.

His body was too small and the panic was too big.

And then—

A sound. A shape.

His name, maybe.

But it didn’t sound right. Didn't sound like anything.

It felt, almost, as if Az was trying to hear underwater— trying to breathe it in and choke.

He jerked away from the voice, instinctual. He didn't want to be seen. Not like this.

But then it came again. Warm. Gentle. Familiar. His shadows darted towards it.

“Azriel?”

And for the first time, he felt it. Felt you.

His eyes blinked open—wild, unfocused—but the world began to sharpen.

Not all at once. Not clearly, at least. But enough. Enough to see you there, from the corner of his eye, approaching him slowly, breath white in the cold air.

He squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head, and pressed his palms flatter against the earth. His wings half-flared without permission.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

It wasn’t working.

You’re weak. You’re not enough.

Your failures are going to get them all killed. Koschei. Koschei. Koschei. What if he kills them all?

A flutter of heat brushed against his shoulder. He briefly registered the movement, somehow coherent enough to piece together the fact that you were crouching beside him. He could only imagine how pathetic he looked, a warrior, a spy— a feared male brought to his knees by his own damaged mind.

For one harrowing moment, he wanted to snarl at you. To bare his teeth and tell you to go where you’re needed, to leave him alone— Because he didn’t want your pity. He didn’t want your help. He didn’t want to admit that he needed it. If he admitted it now, so vulnerable and exposed in front of you— embarrassingly so— you’d realize, for a second time, he wasn’t worth it.

But he would never do that. He didn’t want to push you away again.

A wave of shame hit him flat in the chest—flooding his system. Azriel forced his wings against his back until the muscles screamed. He gave a tight shake of his head, managed to say between jagged breaths, "I'm fine. Go home."

Your hand hovered at his back, near his wings. Gently pressed. He was shaking.

He turned his face away. “Please.”

“Azriel,” you said again. Closer.

Something crumbled in him when his shadows returned to his wrists, floating in soothing circles. He squeezed his eyes shut. Breathe. He just needed to breathe. Count, like his mother always taught him to. Trace the patterns of his shadows.

But gods, it wasn’t working.

“I can’t,” Azriel rasped. His voice was barely there.

A few seconds later, your hand was on his cheek, thumb brushing his jaw. You tilted his face toward yours.

“I’m right here,” you said. Your eyes were wide. Pleading, almost. Like he was lost and you were begging for him to find you again.

And he would, wouldn't he? Find you, that was. In every lifetime.

He blinked. It didn’t feel real. He didn’t deserve this tender touch.

“Az, can you look at me?”

“I can’t—I can’t—”

“Can’t what?”

You reached up, brushing a hand through the strands of his hair at the front — a soft, slow rake of your fingers like you were trying to soothe him back to himself. The touch startled him. His eyes opened wider, found yours again, even as his chest still heaved with shallow, broken breaths.

“I’m—” he sucked in a breath, but it hitched, harsh and shallow. “I’m not okay. I’m— I’m scared and I don’t know what I’m doing and I can’t keep pretending—”

He was unraveling. Words spilling out of him like blood from a wound.

“I’m not enough. I’m not—stable. I can’t help with Koschei. I can’t find anything. People are dying. I’m letting everyone down and—fuck—” he squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t breathe—”

You shifted without hesitation, lowering yourself to your knees before him, so you could meet him at eye level. Gently, delicately, you reached for one of his hands — still clawed into the dirt like an animal — and began to uncurl his fingers from the earth. He shifted his position with the movement.

He blinked again at the sensation, disoriented, his brows furrowing as you guided his hand up and placed it over your chest. Over your heart. And covered it with your own.

“Feel that?” you whispered, taking an exaggerated deep breath. His hand rose with the motion. “All that air coming into my lungs. It’s really nice, Az. Refreshing. Don’t you think?”

He nodded. Or thought he did. It was hard to tell where his body was.

“I want you to breathe with me. Can you do that?”

He swallowed hard. His lungs still fought him. But he would try. Gods, for you — he would always try.

You inhaled again, slow and deep, and he followed — or tried to. Again. And again. Until something in his lungs finally loosened, like a muscle unclenching.

He closed his eyes.

The panic didn’t vanish. But it ebbed. Enough to come back into his body. Enough to feel the weight of the earth, the throb of his heart. The gentleness in your touch. His wings gradually relaxed. His other hand stopped trembling against the grass.

When he opened his eyes, he found yours already waiting.

And for the first time in what felt like hours, he could see you. Not through panic. Just… you.

His hand twitched under yours. You interlaced your fingers, pressing his palm against your skin even firmer. Finally, Azriel took a deep breath. A proper one. Felt the refreshing night air fill his lungs.

And when you smiled — soft and aching and full of something he couldn’t name — he felt the last of the panic slip out of his bones.

He realized, with excruciating clarity, exactly where he was now. Realized that he was touching you. That you were so close. That somehow, impossibly, despite everything he’d ruined, you were here.

He almost forgot to breathe again.

You shifted your free hand up slightly, brushing it back through his hair — a tender, absentminded thing, like it was instinct for you now.

“There we go,” you said softly. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Azriel took advantage of his proximity to take you in— the curve of your mouth, the way the moonlight caught the shine of your hair. How close you were to him, how real it felt. It was almost enough to make him believe he had died after all— that this was some kind of fragile heaven he wasn’t meant to keep, a dream created by a brain deprived of oxygen.

He let out a breath. His body went lax, sinking into the earth. Into you.

You glanced back at him again, your hand still in his hair, and for a moment, neither of you moved. He studied your face like he could memorize it all over again — the faint crease between your brows, the tremble you were trying to hide in your jaw, the way your eyes softened when you caught him looking.

Something inside him cracked open wider.

His gaze dropped to your lips. Then to your eyes. And then his gaze dropped once more, landing on where his hand still rested over your heart, your smaller one covering his. Without thinking, Azriel brushed his thumb across your skin. A slow, reverent sweep. He felt it immediately— the sudden, sharp skip of your heartbeat under his hand.

“Your heart,” Azriel whispered, “It’s...beating really fast.”

You let out a small breath, almost a laugh. “Yeah,” you murmured, giving him a sheepish, crooked little smile.

“Why?”

Azriel swore he caught the faintest tint of pink at your cheeks.

“It tends to do that around you.”

Something inside him stumbled, caught on a beat he didn’t recognize. "Oh," he breathed out.

A few moments passed. And then, slowly, you shifted — separating just enough to ease down beside him. Azriel mourned the loss of your touch, of his hand on your skin. He settled into a similar position, watching as you tucked your knees to your chest and rested your head lightly atop them.

The silence that followed felt easy. Comforting. Azriel was grateful for it, despite his longing to touch you again. His breaths, now more regular, were still slowly coming back to him.

You turned to look at him, your cheek pressed against your knees. “What happened, Az?”

Azriel squeezed his eyes shut. Shook his head once, almost imperceptibly.

Out of everyone, you were the only one he'd ever truly opened up to about these episodes. These small attacks — flashes of terror, of helplessness — they'd started creeping back after the second war against Hybern. A strange, ugly pattern.

He hated them. Hated the way they made him feel: weak, broken, like he was still the trembling boy locked away in a lightless cell. But he’d been doing better. He had been. And now — this — it felt like a step backward. Like a fall from a cliff he'd barely managed to climb. He felt like a failure. Like a burden.

“I…I don’t know. I just…”

He looked at you then. Really looked. At the way your eyes urged him to go on. And somehow, his thoughts came easier. More honest.

The truth was — Azriel had spent most of his life benefiting from the image of someone fearless. The cold, steady blade in the dark. The one who didn’t flinch.

But Azriel was afraid all the time.

He moved through his fear like a second skin — worked off it, thrived off it. Fear of losing someone. Fear of being weak again. Fear of being proven wrong. Fear of being left behind. It sat in him like something feral, something sharp-toothed and restless, always on the edge of recognition.

He knew fear the way an animal knew the shift of the wind before a storm.

And lately, it was starting to take more than it gave.

He hated it. Hated that for all the years he'd spent learning to master it, it still had the power to master him.

“I hate this,” Azriel said finally. Barely audible. “I hate that I can’t control this panic. That it’s still in me. That I freeze. When I’m needed most.”

“You’re not frozen now,” you said. “You came back.”

He shook his head. “I’m supposed to protect people. I’m supposed to keep our court safe. That’s what I’m for. If I can’t do that... if I’m just afraid…then what am I?”

“You’re still you. Even when you’re afraid. Especially then.”

Azriel closed his eyes for a moment. Nodded, just barely. “I think you’re the only one who thinks that.”

“The fearless don't win wars, Az. They just die faster. The ones who love... the ones who are afraid — they're the ones who survive. They're the ones who save people."

He blinked, like you’d struck him, and a wave of relief ran through his body. Azriel let out a rough breath — almost a laugh. “Since when did you get so philosophical?”

You shrugged, a faint smile tugging at your mouth. “I used to date this guy…”

He arched his brow and you tilted your head, pretending to think. “Taught me a few things about war. About fear. About how important it is to find people worth being afraid for.”

Azriel’s mouth twitched upwards. “Sounds like a piece of work.”

You breathed a soft laugh and the quiet stretched again. He ran his fingers idly through a blade of grass, taking in the calm night surrounding him.

“How did you know where I went?” Az asked.

Your arms were wrapped around your knees, chin resting on them, eyes tracing his shadows dancing along the grass. “I made a lucky guess.”

“Well… thank you," he said, his heart glowing. "For finding me.”

You glanced at him, your eyes softening as you replied, “Always.”

Then you tucked your chin back onto your knees, looking up at the sky again. The stars spun lazy arcs overhead. Azriel watched you instead— for a few indulgent moments, at least.

Eventually, Azriel’s gaze drifted from you, scanning the patch of grass beneath you both. A soft smile tugged at his lips as the memory surfaced—of the first time he kissed you—here, in this exact spot.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

authors note: posting this randomly as i am...crawling...slowly....from the grave.... where uninspired writers.... and my abandoned wips.... go to rot...

as a girl who has suffered w panic attacks my whole life (thank u traumatic events!) i would rather die than have someone like...kiss me for example, but i cannot tell u how intimate those moments are after someone sees you so vulnerable and theyre just like so...casual abt it? so i simply had to write a lil something, idk anyways enjoy this random lazy ass work <3 onto my series i go!!!!

fun fact.... this is actually a scrapped scene from one of my drafted series (anatomy of dependence), that full exes to lovers, second chance romance, best friends to luvers goodnesssss!!!!

permanent tag list 🫶🏻 (im going to revamp this soon, so if you wanna stay on it, let me know!!)

@rhysandorian @itsswritten @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon @glam-targaryen

@cheneyq @darkbloodsly @yesiamthatwierd @azrielsbbg @evergreenlark

@marina468 @azriels-human @book-obsessed124 @bubybubsters @starswholistenanddreamsanswered

@feyretopia @azrielrot @justyouraveragekleemain @marigold-morelli @mrsjna

@anarchiii @alittlelostalittlefound @melissat1254 @secretsicanthideanymore

@m4tthewmurd0ck @beardburnsupersoldiers @isnotwhatyourethinking @tothestarsandwhateverend @raginghellfire

@angel-graces-world-of-chaos @acoazlove @paradisebabey @inkedinshadows @mellowmusings

@paankhaleyaaar @curiosandcourioser @thisrandombitch @casiiopea2 @w0nderw0manly

@rottenroyalebooks @jurdanpotter @casiiopea2 @gamarancianne @weesablackbeak

@booksaremyescapeworld @knoxic @wynintheclouds @dacrethehalls @louisa-harrier

#azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #azriel x reader angst #azriel x reader fluff #azriel angst #azriel fluff #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel fanfiction #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #acotar #acotar fanfic #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fanfiction

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pearlprincess02 · 10 months ago

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what you lie about (mercury signs & houses)

aries mercury

mercury in aries often lies about their intentions or feelings. this placement is characterized by a quick, impulsive thought process, which can lead to hasty statements or exaggerated claims. an aries mercury might exaggerate or downplay aspects of their situation to appear more confident or to avoid vulnerability. they might also lie to cover up mistakes or to stay ahead in competitive scenarios, driven by their desire to maintain control and assert their independence. their approach to communication is usually direct and energetic, but the impulsiveness can lead to inconsistencies or half-truths when they feel cornered or pressured.

taurus mercury

mercury in taurus tends to lie about practical matters and personal resources. this placement values stability and security, so taurus mercury might distort the truth to protect their financial situation, possessions, or personal comfort. they could be inclined to exaggerate their wealth or downplay their expenses to maintain an image of financial stability or competence. their lies are often motivated by a desire to avoid conflict, preserve their status, or keep their personal life secure and private. taurus mercury’s approach to communication is typically deliberate and cautious, so when they do lie, it’s usually well thought out and aimed at preserving their sense of security.

gemini mercury

mercury in gemini often lies about details and facts, driven by a desire to navigate social dynamics and maintain a flexible image. this placement values intellectual stimulation and social interaction, so gemini mercury might exaggerate, omit, or twist facts to entertain, impress, or fit in with different groups. they might also lie to avoid confrontation or to adapt quickly to changing situations, ensuring they can keep up with the fast-paced social environment. their lies are usually more about maintaining curiosity or keeping conversations engaging rather than malicious intent, reflecting their ever-shifting interests and adaptability.

cancer mercury

mercury in cancer often lies about their emotions and personal circumstances. this placement is deeply connected to their inner world and can be sensitive about their vulnerabilities. as a result, cancer mercury might distort the truth to protect their emotional well-being or to shield their private life from scrutiny. they may downplay their feelings or fabricate stories to avoid appearing weak or to maintain a sense of control over their personal narrative. their lies are often motivated by a desire to create a safe, comforting environment for themselves and others, reflecting their need to manage how they are perceived emotionally and protect their sensitive nature.

leo mercury

mercury in leo often lies about their achievements and personal importance. this placement values recognition and admiration, so leo mercury might embellish or exaggerate their accomplishments, talents, or status to enhance their image and garner praise. they may fabricate details to appear more impressive or to maintain their dominant presence in social situations. their lies are typically motivated by a desire to shine and be acknowledged, reflecting their need for validation and a strong sense of self-worth. leo mercury's communication style is often grandiose and dramatic, and their fabrications usually aim to reinforce their sense of superiority and influence.

virgo mercury

mercury in virgo often lies about their imperfections and mistakes. this placement values precision and efficiency, and virgo mercury might downplay or obscure errors, shortcomings, or personal flaws to maintain an image of competence and control. they may also be inclined to embellish details or present overly polished versions of reality to avoid criticism or to uphold their high standards. their lies are driven by a need to appear reliable and capable, reflecting their anxiety about making mistakes or falling short of their own rigorous expectations. virgo mercury's communication is typically meticulous and analytical, and their fabrications often serve to preserve their perceived perfectionism and competence.

libra mercury

mercury in libra often lies about their true opinions and feelings to maintain harmony and avoid conflict. this placement values balance and relationships, so libra mercury might obscure their genuine thoughts or preferences to keep the peace or to align with the expectations of others. they may also exaggerate or soften their views to avoid rocking the boat or to present themselves as agreeable and diplomatic. their lies are typically motivated by a desire to sustain social harmony and avoid discord, reflecting their strong emphasis on creating and preserving pleasant interactions and maintaining a fair, balanced atmosphere.

scorpio mercury

mercury in scorpio often lies about their deeper motives and personal vulnerabilities. this placement values privacy and emotional intensity, so scorpio mercury might obscure their true intentions or feelings to protect themselves from being exposed or manipulated. they may also conceal their strategic thinking or hidden agendas, driven by a need to maintain control and leverage in situations. their lies are typically motivated by a desire to safeguard their inner world and maintain power in their interactions, reflecting their tendency to navigate life with a sense of secrecy and psychological depth.

sagittarius mercury

mercury in sagittarius often lies about details and commitments, driven by their desire for freedom and exploration. this placement values honesty and big-picture thinking but can be prone to exaggerating or glossing over specifics to avoid feeling constrained or bogged down by mundane details. sagittarius mercury might fabricate or embellish stories to make their experiences sound more adventurous or to align with their optimistic outlook. their lies are usually motivated by a need to maintain their sense of excitement and spontaneity, reflecting their resistance to being tied down by practical constraints or tedious commitments.

capricorn mercury

mercury in capricorn often lies about their achievements and the extent of their responsibilities. this placement values status, structure, and reliability, so capricorn mercury might downplay challenges or exaggerate their accomplishments to project an image of competence and control. they may also conceal their struggles or mistakes to avoid appearing vulnerable or inadequate. their lies are typically motivated by a desire to maintain their authoritative position and protect their reputation, reflecting their need to uphold their professional and personal image as steadfast and capable.

aquarius mercury

mercury in aquarius often lies about their true thoughts and personal beliefs to fit in with unconventional or progressive ideals. this placement values originality and social ideals, so aquarius mercury might obscure their genuine opinions or downplay their personal views to align with a group’s vision or to maintain their image as a forward-thinking individual. they may also fabricate details to seem more innovative or to keep up with rapidly evolving ideas. their lies are typically motivated by a desire to blend into or influence social trends, reflecting their need to be seen as part of the cutting-edge or socially aware crowd.

pisces mercury

mercury in pisces often lies about their true feelings and personal realities. this placement values empathy and imagination, so pisces mercury might obscure or romanticize the truth to protect others’ feelings or to create a more idealized version of events. they may also fabricate details to avoid confronting uncomfortable realities or to escape from harsh truths. their lies are typically motivated by a desire to maintain emotional harmony, avoid conflict, or preserve their idealistic view of the world, reflecting their sensitivity and tendency to navigate life through a lens of compassion and fantasy.

in houses

mercury in 1st house: their true age, their real height, their actual weight, their genuine feelings, their past mistakes, their hidden insecurities, their secret fears, their financial situation, their academic struggles, their social awkwardness, their lack of confidence, their unpopular opinions, their embarrassing moments, their guilty pleasures, their secret talents, their hidden desires, their biggest regrets, their darkest secrets, their manipulative tactics, their true intentions,

mercury in 2nd house: their financial status, their debt, their spending habits, their savings, their investments, their job security, their salary, their inheritance, their possessions, their material desires, their financial goals, their money management skills, their business failures, their gambling habits, their shopping addiction, their financial dependence, their greed, their materialism, their stinginess, their financial secrets,

mercury in 3rd house: their intelligence, their knowledge, their grades, their communication skills, their writing ability, their reading habits, their language skills, their travel experiences, their social skills, their sense of humor, their gossip, their secrets, their lies, their manipulations, their gaslighting tactics, their ability to persuade, their power of persuasion, their ability to deceive, their knack for storytelling, their ability to adapt,

mercury in 4th house: their family background, their childhood experiences, their home life, their relationship with parents, their siblings' secrets, their family's financial status, their family's history, their family traditions, their home address, their neighborhood, their hometown, their country of origin, their ancestry, their family secrets, their family feuds, their family scandals, their family's dark secrets, their family's mental health issues, their family's criminal history, their family's secrets,

mercury in 5th house: their romantic interests, their dating history, their number of partners, their flirtatious behavior, their cheating habits, their creative talents, their artistic abilities, their gambling addiction, their love for drama, their need for attention, their childish behavior, their lack of commitment, their fear of intimacy, their jealousy issues, their possessiveness, their manipulative tactics, their hidden desires, their secret fantasies, their true intentions, their emotional instability,

mercury in 6th house: their work ethic, their job responsibilities, their salary, their health issues, their daily routine, their diet & exercise habits, their sleep schedule, their stress levels, their time management skills, their organizational abilities, their work-life balance, their job satisfaction, their career aspirations, their performance reviews, their sick days, their work conflicts, their job hunting process, their professional networking, their career failures, their mental health struggles,

mercury in 7th house: their relationship status, their partner's flaws, their own flaws in the relationship, their commitment level, their future plans with their partner, their expectations from the relationship, their compatibility with their partner, their communication issues, their jealousy, their possessiveness, their infidelity, their past relationships, their exes, their love languages, their arguments, their disagreements, their shared values, their long-term goals as a couple, their financial situation as a couple, their plans for the future,

mercury in 8th house: their financial situation, their debts, their inheritances, their shared finances with partners, their investments, their tax returns, their insurance policies, their wills, their fears about death, their obsessions, their addictions, their secrets, their grudges, their dark desires, their hidden agendas, their manipulative tactics, their power plays, their control issues, their vulnerability, their deepest fears,

mercury in 9th house: their educational background, their travel experiences, their foreign language skills, their philosophical beliefs, their religious views, their political opinions, their cultural background, their intellectual abilities, their knowledge of world events, their interest in current affairs, their love of learning, their thirst for knowledge, their open-mindedness, their tolerance, their respect for diversity, their prejudices, their biases, their bigotry, their ignorance, their arrogance,

mercury in 10th house: their job title, their salary, their career aspirations, their work-life balance, their job satisfaction, their relationship with their boss, their performance reviews, their job security, their career failures, their professional networking, their ambition, their work ethic, their time management skills, their leadership abilities, their public image, their professional reputation, their awards & recognitions, their career goals, their career path, their industry knowledge,

mercury in 11th house: their friendships, their social life, their group memberships, their online presence, their social media following, their networking skills, their popularity, their influence, their humanitarian work, their political views, their social activism, their rebellious nature, their desire for freedom, their need for independence, their fear of commitment, their aversion to authority, their ability to make friends easily, their social skills, their networking abilities, their desire for connection,

mercury in 12th house: their fears, their insecurities, their doubts, their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities, their past traumas, their mental health struggles, their addictions, their secrets, their lies, their manipulative tactics, their dark desires, their hidden agendas, their power plays, their control issues, their jealousy, their possessiveness, their resentment, their anger, their loneliness,

all observations belong to @pearlprincess02

main masterlist

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spaceyaemonds · 1 month ago

Text

pairing: dr. michael robinavitch x nurse!reader

sum.: it’s your last week at work. there’s no way you’ll go into labor early, right?!

warnings: pregnant!reader, idk if it’s implied here or not but age gap (robby is late 40s, reader is mid 20s), reader and robby have a disagreement, robby implies she could stop working and she gets upset (he means well and is not trying to take her working away from her, i think i may have not portrayed him the best here), mentions of reader having a difficult pregnancy, mentions of assault of healthcare workers, they’re having a baby girl :), i think that’s all! minors DNI

note: loosely based off of a request! honestly, i lowkey hate this :( i’ve rewritten it like 5 time and this is the version i liked best. i have the bones for a part 2, or even a prequel, if that is something you guys want, just let me know! unedited. and as always, any feedback is extremely appreciated, it helps keep me motivated. especially reblogs/comments/asks!

wc: 950 (ish)

You gasp, clinging to the chair you’re seated in at the nurse’s station as your abdomen contracts for the third time in the past two hours.

Dana, ever observant, raises an eyebrow at you, “You okay?”

You clench your teeth as you nod twice, “Braxton hicks,”

She squints, studying you closely, “For the twelfth time this shift?”

Immediately, you shush her, looking around frantically, “Don’t say that. We are not speaking this into existence.”

Dana huffs a laugh, “You need to tell Robby.”

“I would tell him,” You groan, placing your hand on your abdomen, “if there was anything to tell.”

She gives you a blank look before shaking her head.

“He’s going to be fucking pissed.”

Yeah, yeah he is.

“I’m gonna go check on patients,”

You get up with a grunt and try your best to walk away.

Only to be ambushed by your loving boyfriend.

“I really think you’re too far along to be here today. You should have started your leave two days ago,”

You roll your eyes, “I’m thirty-six weeks pregnant. Not an invalid.”

He sighs, grabbing your shoulders, turning you to face him, “That may be, but this pregnancy hasn’t been very easy on you.” He speaks in a low voice.

You sigh, closing your eyes. He’s right.

Not that you would ever admit it out loud to him, but it has been extremely difficult.

You were so sick from the moment you found out until about three weeks ago, your blood pressure has been either really high or really low.

It hasn’t been the best experience.

Michael’s been a godsend. Truly.

But he’s also been overbearing.

Every time you turn around, you nearly jump out of your skin because he’s right there.

“Look,” You sigh, “I love you, and I appreciate you. But you’ve been hovering, a lot. And I understand, but Robby, I don’t have an insane amount of PTO built up. If I want to stay home with her as long as we planned, I have to finish this week.”

His hands squeeze your shoulders, “You don’t have to worry about that. I’ve told you multiple time that I’ll take care of all of it.”

You roll your eyes, shoving his hands off of you as you walk off to south 14.

Take care of it?

You know he means well, and truly you appreciate it. But you hate the idea of not contributing to anything while on leave.

You know if he had his way, you would have stopped working at the twenty week mark. Working in the ED isn’t the best for nurses, especially when pregnant. And it had been the source of many, many arguments.

He wanted you to transfer departments, to which you laughed in his face when he suggested it.

Robby knew how bad the ED got, especially for nurse’s. He’d seen them get verbally, physically, and sexually assaulted, spit on, and so on. He hated the idea of that happening to you.

Especially pregnant with his baby.

The further along you got, the more nervous he got. Especially since everything was so hard on you. He spent your whole pregnancy sick with anxiety, terrified something was going to happen to you. Happen to her. He prayed a lot more the past eight months than he probably has his entire life.

He just wanted you to be comfortable.

But, you wouldn’t be the woman he loves if you weren’t insanely stubborn. It was part of the reason he fell in love with you.

So he bites back a groan as you waddle away, knowing that this argument probably isn’t over.

He doesn’t glance over at Dana as she approaches, “I told you to stop bringing that idea up.”

“I can’t help it,” He sighs, “I just can’t help it.”

She hums, “Well, keep a close eye on her today. I’m pretty sure she’s in labor.”

Robby shakes his head, laughing slightly before he runs his hand down his face. Half torn between taking you up to labor and delivery himself or letting you be for a few more hours.

Whitaker jumps when you walk in, “Oh, hey,”

You nod, “Do you need help with anything?”

He looks between you, your abdomen, and his patient, “Uh, ye-yeah sure. Can you order some labs, an ultrasound and a CT? And then help me with the workup, if you don’t mind?”

You nod, looking over the patient briefly before getting to work.

You help Whitaker make quick work of his patient, drawing blood and starting the IV before CT comes down to get him.

“She’ll go for an abdominal ultrasound next, and then I’ll probably get Robby to-“ He cuts himself off abruptly, looking at you more alarmed than usual.

You turn your head toward him when he squeaks out your name, “What, Whitaker?”

He looks pale, “I would hate to assume that you just peed your pants, so I’m going to go with your water just broke,”

Oh, is that what that is?

You glance down, grey pants quickly turning dark as another contraction hits you, “Oh god,”

“Oh god!”

You turn to glare at the med student, “Go get Robby, please. And stay calm, just have him come here. Do not elaborate on anything.”

He just nods, rushing out.

Robby opens the door not even two minutes later, “Look, I’m sorry. But do we really have to continue this her-“

He cuts himself off as he looks you over.

“I don’t want to argue about this anymore. You were probably right. But you started this conversation here.” You groan and shake your head, slightly annoyed, “Now, are you ready to have a baby?”

Through the pain, you give him a big, but nervous smile that he mirrors as he takes your hands.

#the pitt x reader #dr robby x reader #dr michael robinavitch x reader #michael robinavitch x reader #🐝 writes: the pitt #🐝 writes

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