#[ Another trust exercise? — memes. ]

[plxgue4two]

TAGS.

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons pt.2! :))

warnings: mentions of weed/alc , injuries/blood, VERY mild sexual content (boobs and ass 😕)

content: loser!ellie x reader :3

authors note: im back w another BANGER🔥🔥🔥 since ppl loved the last one IM BACK W MORE 😈

pt. 1 ! taglist.! masterlist!!

- CANNOT handle spicy food. my porcelain princess has the spice tolerance of a victorian child she is coughing and crying at the slightest spice 😞😞

- speaking of food…my girl is a CHEF!!! she hates leaving the house and she’s too broke to buy food so she’s just in the kitchen whippin ts!!!! she even has a goofy chef hat that she wears when she cooks. (this is so ellie coded i dont know why)

- loves commentary youtubers . kurtis,danny,nickisnotgreen,jarvis, and chadchad 🔥🔥

- knows so much niche internet drama…she tries to talk abt it and ur like???? literally what are you talking about….which gives her the perfect opportunity to ramble

- so many random injuries CONSTANTLY. she’s constantly covered in cuts and bruises and has no idea where they come from (mostly her awful skateboarding)

- “this ones for you” before she devastatingly fails to do a trick on her skateboard and falls on her face, and her entire lower face is covered in nose-blood

- whenever she gets hurt, she always asks you to “kiss it better” 😞😞 so cute im dying!!!

- follows you around like a puppy all day. goes with you on all your errands, sits by you while you do work. she is ALWAYS THERE

- if u think shes bad when shes sober, she’s literally the clingiest drunk in the world!!!! she will literally be constantly attached to you. even when you go to the bathroom, she’ll literally hold ur hand through the door while u piss cuz u wouldn’t let her in 😞

- she’s even worse when she’s high, cuz shes so BOLD. will literally just randomly motorboat ur tits while ur talking with zero explanation.

- loves sitting on the floor???? literally will just be down there. sometimes when you’re on the couch she’ll sit by your feet and cling onto one of your legs

- NEEDY!!!! oh my godddd so needy. every time ur doing something not involving her she’s trying to get your attention. most of the time shes doing really stupid shit in front of you for no reason. “babe look” is her favorite thing to say

- literally had a huge bruise on her leg cuz she tried to do a cartwheel inside and banged her leg on the kitchen counter

- whenever you lay on your stomach, she loves laying her head on your ass

“it’s my favorite pillow!!”

- sometimes she just randomly squeezes ur boobs when she walks past you. always with some random sound affect too. she’ll just walk by you while you’re cooking and just honk ‘em 😕

- sleeps DIRECTLY ON TOP OF YOU. like literally lays on you like a starfish all night

-sleeptalker!!! its always the most non-coherent things ever, and it’ll last for like 30 minutes.

“no papa john i don’t wanna hit a nae nae 😞”

- cannot be trusted on the road. she is actually a hazard to public safety

- this is such an unpopular opinion but she is DEFINITELY a passenger princess. she likes staring at you too much she can’t drive she’ll crash!!!!

- does NOT exercise. but she’s like. randomly strong. she’ll carry all your groceries in one trip and push ALL your luggage when you go on vacation

- literally turns into a child when you take her to the beach. building sand castles, swimming in the water, and finding rocks and shells and bringing them to you like a dog

- definitely wears those stupid snorkel goggles when she goes swimming cuz she likes doing flips underwater and hates water in her nose

- LOVES CAMPING!!! that girl can be OUTDOORS.

- has binders full of pokemon cards. she goes to this card shop by her house that has pokemon saturdays and plays matches for like…the whole day. she can and WILL trash talk a 7 year old little boy after beating him

- follows so many niche meme pages

- orange chicken enthusiast.

- this is literally canon in the show but she HATES COFFEE. she is a chai latte woman. with oatmilk cuz like…duh….lesbian

- absolutely goated at just dance for NO REASON

- really good at making string friendship bracelets

[cootcutebatkat]

More Ford Headcanons

Yeah I'm making a part two right now. Why not? These will be more adult-oriented.

Ford is not at all fond of high-pitched noises. Some he tolerates, especially if he has control over them. But most of the time, he'll react by covering his ears and grimacing.

There isn't a recreational drug out there that he has tried at least once. But his most favorites are alcohol, cannabis, hallucinogenics, and amphetamines. Oh wait, caffeine is considered a drug now? In the mainstream sense and not the medicine sense? Okay, well, that's also his favorite too.

He's only done caffeine the most since he came back into Gravity Falls through the portal. But ofc, with the help of Stan and Fiddleford, he's able to drink and ingest weed as much as he'd like! And yet. There is a limit on caffeine? The nerve!

He's only allowed the limits ever since Dipper and Mabel kindly asked him to follow the rules on his intake levels. Mabel used her darling eyes on him. Dipper used his darling eyes AND plenty of research to back up his claim. Curse his love for his grand-niblings.

Ford is, in a sense, trans-human. He's had many more modifications done to him beyond just the metal plate in his head. He heals faster, runs faster, jumps higher, and has more keen senses! Of course, a vigorous exercise routine helps too.

While Ford identifies as part of the asexual and aromantic spectrum, he's not immune to such feelings either, especially the asexual part. But he's unsure if it's the person's characteristics that are sexually appealing or if the sex alone is and they just happened to be good-looking. But romance is another story.

He has felt romantic feelings towards Bill and Jheselbraum. Fiddleford too, in retrospect. But if you ask him, a queer-platonic relationship sounds much more appealing and emotionally deeper. He has yet to deduce why.

He is polyamourous too! Somewhat. Well, it takes a lot of trust and he'd prefer to deeply know the other persons involved as well. But he isn't opposed to his partner sleeping with another being, so long as Ford is aware of their location, the exits, their current defenses, the stranger's weaknesses, their immunities and defenses and and and. Okay, he's not opposed to it due to jealousy and lack of trust. He's opposed to it because he cannot risk anything bad happen to his beloveds.

That being said... STD transmission is a thing. He might also be opposed to it due to health and hygiene purposes. Unless. He could craft a rapid-testing kit that his beloveds could take with them wherever they go if they feel the urge to sleep with another being.

If his partner(s) have a habit of sleeping with other folks though... it could cause some insecurities. Communication is an absolute must at this point. But depending on the relationship and other variables, you might not hear about said insecurities. So much for communication... (Stan is probably yelling at him for it)

Sometimes, he'll avoid communication to avoid arguments. Expect a lot of serious talks during the earlier parts of your relationship, especially if Ford feels it becoming more intimate and serious. He wants to avoid conflict as much as possible.

He loves absurd memes. The internet, while it did take a while to learn due to its rapid growth, is oddly fun and a host of many research articles! Thanks to Fiddleford, he's learned to bypass many security walls and such, so he's able to access all sorts of articles without having to subscribe or pay for them!

But also. Memes. He loves them. What, you don't think an old man from the 60s and 70s who has done many different drugs and has studied anomalies and has been to a shitty college and has traveled the multiverse would be weirded out by internet humor? My dear, he thrives in it! Hell, he's learned quickly how to make them and posts them regularly. He's pretty amused by how his followers believe that some of them are just absurd jokes and not events he's actually experienced. One day, he'll reveal the truth. But he has to figure out how.

Speaking of, he and Fiddleford has been working with the people of Gravity Falls on how to prevent another apocalypse and, with the consent of the anomalies, how to research the unique flora and fauna and strange happenings in this part of Oregon.

He, Stan, and Fiddleford now all live together in Fidds new estate! The extra rooms have been turned either into guest rooms, entertainment rooms, or academic archives. AND THERE IS STILL MORE ROOM?? Fiddleford, you've truly succeeded! Ford is not only extremely happy with his friend's fortune, but he's also grateful that he gets to share it with him.

Of course, Ford loves his alone time. All the more reason why he appreciates living in a mansion with his beloveds instead of a cramped cabin (seriously, that thing is massive! And yet, it's still too small for such a large and outgoing family). It is a bit too big, though. Hell, it's not a mansion. It's a palace! He's discussed with Fidds about it, leading to a map in every room and hall (with a little "You are here" dot in each one) and a PA system next to it. With some extra work, magic, and rummaging through the alien ship, there is now quick travel throughout the estate as well! Just... hold on to the railing while you're at it. And your stomach.

[smallest-turtle]

Writing meme: first line patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @zanarkandfayth

Thanks!

1. Clarus hears Regis’ head thunk against his dining table as he pours them each another cup of coffee. (FFXV. Someone to Look Out for You)

2. The first thing Noctis woke to was a dull, throbbing pain. (FFXV. An Exercise in Trust)

3. The fog of early morning still lingered on the streets of Krat as the puppet worked its way through Elysian Boulevard. (Lies of P. When a Ghost Lives and Breathes)

4. When the light of the way back to his own world faded, Noctis looked around. (FFXV/FFXIV. The Chosen of the Crystal)

5. Thancred did not look up from the field reports he was reviewing when the door to the Rising Stones slipped open and closed. (FFXIV. Ring)

6. Eorzea's weapon was frightening, there had been no lie to the stories told. (FFXIV. Barbarous)

7. Fortemps manor is not expecting any further visitors when their butler announces that a young man has turned up at their door. (FFXIV. Off the Hook)

8. Janus adjusts the uncomfortable foreign mask again; another oddity of Amaurot. (FFXIV. Bark)

9. The Admiral couldn't help her surprise, if she were honest, and she said as much. (FFXIV. Envoy)

10. The world was still wet, beneath the overcast sky. (Lies of P. A Compassionate Thing)

It seems I either establish setting and weather, or point of view and emotion XD shout-out to my recent relapse into ffxv and fascination the Pinocchio adaption Lies of P for being the only reasons this list isn't all FFXIV lmao

If you write then consider yourself tagged

[blindfoldcd]

@arkclipse asked: [ dance ] for your muse to dance with mine ( Nea and Miya ♥ )

word prompts compilation | meme

Moments of tranquility are few and far between, but Miya finds it best to spend such instances in the company of the man she loves. Whether it be talking and joking around or simply resting together to recuperate lost energy, she couldn't imagine a better way to spend idle time.

Today, she was a little stir-crazy. As a supposedly deceased exorcist of the Black Order, it wasn't incredibly wise to walk around a town on planet earth chosen at random. Now that she had returned to Nea's side – and he had returned to his real body instead of setting up camp in Allen's – asking to spar with him as a means of exercise felt... out of place. She wants to cherish what little time they may have left.

Miya's restlessness must have been apparent – no sooner did she turn to make another circle around the room, did he capture her hand and pull her into a position primed for dancing. One could practically see the gears turning in her head, surprise lighting brilliant blue irises as they locked with the stunning gold of Nea's.

❝ Wait...! Nea – ❞

She sighs and hesitates, but doesn't pull away from him, a thought weighing on her mind. Her gaze shifts away from his, resting on their 'twined hands for a moment, almost as if she's unable to mention it without feeling embarrassed. However, vulnerability is something she had been working on with the Noah, allowing herself to be more open about her thoughts with the one person who makes her feel safe and accepted. She trusts him not to tease her.

❝ I... don't know how to dance. I've never had the opportunity, ❞ Miya mutters quietly knowing he'd still hear her due to their proximity, a light huff puffing from plush lips as her gaze returns to his.

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

💖 for Little Lao!

@hatxtoss

💖 AND I'LL GIVE OUR CHARACTERS A RELATIONSHIP SUMMARY FROM THIS MEME || ACCEPTING

How likely they are to enter a relationship with them:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they…

Make the first move? Yes | No-ish Lao is a unique circumstance where the two are on such a similar page that he will beat Zuriya to the punch by little more than a couple of minutes. Which her competitive side will huff over for a moment, but his arrogant satisfaction and that joy in his eyes is more than enough to make any frustration dissipate on the spot. Say “I love you” first? Yes | No Zuriya said 'I love you' first twice. The first time, it was bittersweet and rang a bit hollow because as much as her feelings were legitimate, they weren't on the same page. Lao felt like a novelty to her, and Zuriya was guilty of fuelling these self-deprecating feelings because she WAS loving him like a novelty. She was only scratching the surface because she, thanks to her trauma, feared connecting with him deeply because of the chance he'd leave her once he learned what she was actually like. After that first 'I love you' though and all the growing pains of moving past her demons that hamper genuine love, she told him again, but these times, the words rang like a sharp hook to the gut, and it destroyed them both in the best kind of ways. Cheat on them? Yes | NO Zuriya is a party gal, but once her heart, damaged as it is, sets itself on someone she loves for life! She would never turn to another, not for love or physical affection, and she wouldn't be afraid to exercise her voice both to scream at a creep to back off or to proclaim her love and lust for her lovers. Be the jealous type? Yes | No SHE IS SO CONFIDENT OH MY GOD, Lao may be a catch and a half with an arrogant charm she knows will have most swooning. But she is confident in herself, her value, and more importantly, his character. She knows and trusts Lao. He'll lead on a flirt or two for fun, but his heart and soul is true to her beyond the fun and games. The passing comments are great for the ego but she knows after he's had his fun, he'll turn them down and come back over to her with that 'did you see that?' grin on his face, brush it off and they can both laugh about it into the sunset. Plan the dates? Yes-ish | No Zuri will drag Lao to fun and lively places that draws her naturally extroverted spirit, but complex planning? Not at all! Making reservations may actually kill her, and Lao is more than happy to pick up her slack and make those phone calls for organized fun! Initiate the first kiss? Yes | No Zuri's ass stared at Lao wantingly for so, so long, but her heart was too worried about all the rumours she'd had about Earthrealmers and overstepping her love's boundaries. She heard tales about monks not even being allowed to touch other people, as in handshakes, from members of the court. Let alone the conflicting tales from her stories. She doesn't want to hurt him or drive him away. She likes him FAR too much for that! She doesn't know how to pose the question without seeming ridiculous (because she is being silly). But meanwhile, as she's stuck in overthinking. Lao is just taking her by the cheeks and giving her a big smooch. Leaving her with massive stars in her eyes! Remember anniversaries? Yes | No THESE ASSHOLES ARE THE FUCKING PEOPLE THAT ALWAYS POST THOSE ANNIVERSARY POSTS WITH GIFTS AND OFTEN MATCHING OUTFITS

BOLD WHAT APPLIES:

Their Relationship Is:

friends to lovers | rivals to lovers | enemies to lovers | still just enemies | mutual pining | star crossed lovers | old married couple | perpetual honeymoon phase (after the initial misunderstanding and settling in) | stable and boring | stable but not boring | secret lovers | best friends hiding their feelings | and they were roommates | friends with benefits | coworkers avoiding HR | one-sided affection | weird sexual tension | it’s complicated | toxic relationship | a secret affair | an actual dumpster fire | other

Lao PSPSPSPSP'd Zuri from team Outworld and being extremely morally ambiguous into team Earthrealm with the lads. I cannot for the life of me think about better words to use to describe this, but he looked at the hot giantess sorceress and said, 'I can fix her' AND HE FRIGGIN COULD!!! Now, if only she could help him with his humbleness problem!

PUBLIC Displays of Affection:

hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips |  cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection

PRIVATE Displays of Affection:

hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips |  cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection

And even more NGL, Zuri keeps the sappiness toned down in public because Lao will get teased about it, but put her in private, and she'll be sappier than a hallmark feel-good special!!

Do they stay together?

yes, this is endgame | yes but someone is gonna die tragically | something is keeping them apart | they part ways as friends | they part ways as enemies | they’re on-again-off-again | they have a super messy breakup | it was just a fling | other

Zuri will end up outliving her Lao by thousands and thousands of years, but she couldn't stomach the idea of that. Of watching him wither and die in front of her, years chipping away at his light. She would beg him to let her use some magic or sorcery to prolong his life and stay with her forever. It would lead to a lot of fighting, a LOT. Sadly, it was just one of those things they could never really get over. In the end, rather than being able to bring herself to watch him fade away while she remained helpless. She left but would ultimately return to be with him in his last years, for his sake, even though it destroys her heart in the process because she'd never stop loving him. Per his wishes, she would not take his soul into her gem after he passes; she'd let him return to the Earthrealm Jinsei, and she'd return to Outworld and likely the temple. For additional heartwrenching facts: Zuri gets her heart and hopes up every time she hears that another descendant of the great Kung Lao has emerged and taken the mantle of the last. Every time she hopes that somehow his soul has reincarnated and she'll find his light again, but it doesn't happen. They're all different, even in minor ways, and she'll leave again. She wants no imitation; she misses him. (which also, like, rip any Kung Lao descendent that comes to her in hopes of getting her approval of 'oh yeah, they're just as good' because her hurt and heartache would make her so bitter. like how dare you stand where he stood, you aren't even his shadow. WHICH OUCH, Lao would be so disappointed in you Zuri, but also strangely aroused and left warm and fuzzy from your devotion to him)

BONUS

What terrible pet names would they give each other?

OH GOD, this gal, she has so many for Lao it isn't funny. The first would be ruby, such a bright, flaming, regal, attention-grabbing stone. It's just like him, capturing her eye and attention. But then he's her little bee, so silly and funny, always buzzing around. But at the same time he's also her love, her heart. Her lion, so strong and brave. And--

[notasapleasure]

fanfic director's cut: only ever just one night!

ohhhh hohoho careful what you ask for my friend. But thank you <3

Only ever just one night - director's commentary meme

And while I'm here, a HUGE shout out of thanks to @weirdsociology-writes for reccing this fic!

BACKGROUND The first SW fic I've written in….five years! I've been noodling around very small fandoms since then. I mean like…under 20 fics total on ao3 for the main one (a Georgian film about gay dancers). And a 1980s band AU of a 1960s book series about a sixteenth-century Scottish mercenary where we call ourselves 'tiny fandom' for a reason. So it's both extraordinarily lovely to have so much engagement with this fic and also kind of alarming. To enumerate my alarm: (1) What if I haven't researched the world coffectly (see: misspelling 'caf' as 'kaf')? (2) What if my first fic for this fandom is my best and I have no other ideas to explore coherently? (3) What if I want to write more and it Grows Plot and I end up with just another perpetual WIP trailing its innards all over my ao3 dash? (4) What if I fluked out and wrote something people vibe with while in a trance, but my justification for my actions has bad vibes? However, I try not to cultivate shame, so Andor fandom, specifically Brassian fans: know that you are lovely and it's making Not Looking Down easier.

CONCEPT The fic ambushed me in a back-alley when I was still trying to work through what I did and didn't like about the show (having been immersed in Jyn/Cassian fic and Rogue One backstory when I last did SW fandom). But I knew that what I very much did like was that hug in Rix Road. I am an absolute sucker for second-fiddle characters who are just quietly waiting for an opportunity to fuck shit up on behalf of the skrunkly little creatures we call main characters. Thankless and loyal, competent and smart - not a himbo, but someone who's watching their friend get into trouble and rolling their sleeves up to wade in and help without being asked. The ones you trust to help you hide a body. Also for characters who seem…I don't know, too good to be true on the surface, but have deep reservoirs of potential for darker emotions. I could also have just said I like broad-shouldered black-haired guys who give the best hugs (Brasso. Irakli. Jerott.)

Anyway, I find the best way to explore the relationship between two characters I like is just to make them fuck. I'm being a bit flippant, but only a bit. Communication - spoken and unspoken - is key whether it's good or bad, and you can do a lot with a character's idea of themselves as well as their idea of the other person. It's a performance, it can be about getting a response, and there can be a lot of motives at work. So I wrote this fic to work out how I saw Cassian and Brasso's friendship through a long-term lens - the trust, but also the distance Cassian keeps. Brasso's concern for him, which is overlayed by his frustration at Cassian not telling him everything. Brasso going into these interactions with eyes wide open and still finding it worthwhile, because although Cassian never gives anyone everything he gives something of himself to Brasso that no one else gets. Cassian actually relying deeply on Brasso as a constant in the turbulent life he's made for himself and feeling something almost like guilt for letting himself rely on someone that much. But needing that little hit of stability too much not to keep coming back.

FIC

It's in the present continuous because I was possessed by brain worms and they insisted. I literally haven't written anything in that tense for years so…?

Well, I had to try to replicate that hug. Turning favoured scenes over and over with new words is a fun exercise. And while I am very eyes emoji at the idea of Luthen/Cassian I'm also into the idea of Cass having One Place he knows he can always go back to for safety and comfort without any sort of judgement, and that place being wherever Brasso is. Hence also the idea that, although Cassian claims it's for Brasso's safety that he won't say where he's been or who he's working for, there's also an element of Cassian preserving his bolt hole. If he keeps this relationship separate from the Rebellion then whenever the work he does becomes too much, he can always go somewhere that feels like away from the Rebellion. Which isn't exactly fair if Brasso might choose to be involved in the fight himself, were he given all the information. And is something I want to poke at properly if I can sort out the right kind of Macguffin for the plot I have in mind following up from this fic. It would encompass, in theory, Cassian moving from a state where his work for Luthen feels still like a kind of ownership/debt repayment/self-flagellation towards the kind of responsibility and service he treats it as by the time of Rogue One, where I don't think he has any kind of release valve or bolt hole or temporary place to escape/experience respite from The Cause.

All this is bound up with the idea that Brasso sees Cassian in a way many others on Ferrix don't. I think Maarva sees him, but she's too close to what she did and all the guilt and resentment around her just taking him from his home for that understanding to come without massive strings attached. And Bix, similarly, I think she understands Cassian perfectly well and she's made the conscious decision that That's Not For Her. For all the telling the series does about their previous relationship, the showing doesn't involve much pining (from my perspective), or inclination to get back together, just two people who know each other too well to put up with the other's bullshit. Brasso has that too, but with what the series gives us there's not the same kind of caveats to his understanding of Cassian. At least, that's how I see it.

Connected with 'although Cassian never gives anyone everything he gives something of himself to Brasso that no one else gets', I wanted to keep the two of them isolated from the other Ferrix survivors here. Cassian's in too vulnerable a place to face up to them all together - what's that trope, where a shapeshifter gets confused by being presented with too many things to change into? I think that would be Cass trying to maintain his armour around Bix and Bee as well - lying about the jobs he's doing and where he's been to them all together it too likely to leave him exposed. He can be selective with his information around Brasso, and he can tell when Brasso knows he's holding out and would rather he didn't, but Brasso's also not going to push too hard, because he knows that just gives Cassian an excuse to leave.

'Brasso merely nods - it's only ever just one night. The first time it happened he believed those words and afterwards, ablaze with memories of that one night, he had come to regret agreeing to it - he'd burned through the long sleepless hours between the first time and the second, convinced that he'd just learned what it was he truly wanted only to be denied any repeat of it. Then there had been a second 'just one night'. A third. Brasso had begun to understand that just one night actually meant something else when Cassian said it. It meant I trust you. I need you too much to ruin it by staying longer. I'll be back. I'll always need to come back.'

Of course, in trying to figure out how this would go as something established, I backed myself into a corner of wondering how it might have started - hence Counting on you (ugh I really wish I'd had the patience to think of better titles for these two fics). But I like the idea of seeing how this relationship came into being without ever really having been talked about, just changing bit by bit to incorporate more - as I was saying to @elwenyere, it's a ship of Theseus kind of deal, where both physically and emotionally they're scoping each other out and building on each encounter, as well as on the friendship they had anyway, but really it's just 'yes and-'ing each other without addressing their feelings directly.

I'll admit to taking a deliberately contrary stance to what I expected to be the default take on this ship - that Cassian would be more experienced, more likely to make the first move. I just prefer a dynamic in my ships where they're differently experienced and both invested in making the other feel good, so there's always a bit of a wrangle over who's initiating what. From the way Brasso meets Cassian's improvised alibi to the way he knows exactly where to find him with Maarva's message, I don't believe for one second this is a man who's shy about using his initiative. And like Cassian is, I think he's highly conscious of how people view him and his body and has learned to manipulate expectations around that - either to make himself seem less threatening or to do the opposite. It's something that's part of what they both get out of being together - no facade, Brasso doesn't need to make himself seem smaller or less threatening (he defaults to bumbling when confronted with Imperial patrols, it really takes a lot to get him swinging that brick on Rix Road) because Cass doesn't find him threatening, and Cassian doesn't need his sharp edges, or to make himself seem small in the way he does, too (I keep thinking of how those two Corpos talk about him in the bar in episode 1).

In the end, I think Cassian does believe he's not coming back. Whether because he won't last that long, or because he can't keep this reminder of life outside the dirty work of the Rebellion without the contrast hurting too much/compromising the armour he needs to do his work. And yes, a lot of this comes from pondering Cinta's attitude to her and Vel's relationship - again, if I manage to write more, expect them to be there and that to be part of it. So while it becomes clear to Brasso that Cassian thinks he's not coming back - in a different way from all the previous 'not coming backs', I think that catches Brasso off-guard. Because I think Brasso...wants to believe he would be more honest about how he feels if he really could grasp the idea of it being the last time he sees Cassian. He'd go all in if it was his last chance to do so. But without time to prepare? I think he's made too much of being the one who can let Cassian go (cf. Bix - he's always leaving) and that that's what lets him keep coming back. If you never give something a beginning how can you give it an ending?

A question I find myself confronted with regularly, 50k words in and utterly lost. Stay tuned?

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

I’m halfway through a goddamn Katya/Sofia fic thanks to this stupid meme edit and I feel like I made a wish on the monkey’s paw. >:(

Katya had been maybe sixteen when she realized that most men wouldn’t waste an opportunity to explain something--anything--to her.  She knew why, of course.  Her mother had been practical about Katya’s beauty.

“We’re all brothers and sisters under Stalin--” You never knew who was listening, even at home. “--but you have a chance to get a seat closer to the head of the table, if you marry well.”

Explaining things gave even nervous and shy men an opportunity to demand her attention, to keep talking to her.

It had been the thing that first set Goncharov apart, when she’d met him.  He’d been ambitious, even then.  Cosmopolitan, clever, driven.  The import business was lucrative, but dangerous.  Give the wrong person too small a bribe, smuggle too much of the wrong thing, come back a little too comfortable with capitalist decadence... there were many ways to fall, doing what Goncharov did.  You had to have balls and brains both, and from what she knew he was doing it well. She’d thought he could be a useful contact to cultivate.

“Do you really need me to tell you?” he’d asked, when she’d feigned ignorance about something. “Or is it that you want me to tell you?”

It hadn’t been a transparent ruse; she hadn’t wanted him to think her an idiot.  But he’d been watching her as she’d been watching the rest of the room, seen her weighing up her options, charting her course.  Their positions had been reversed enough times in the years since--he’d known what she was up to because he’d been up to the same thing.  She could see him even now, in her mind’s eye, looking at her and thinking what a pretty, fashionable, social-climbing wife could do for a man in his position.

Katya had been older when she’d recognized, with a startled flash of gratitude, that it worked with women, too.  There’d been a freedom in the exercise of that power that she reveled in, a freedom that wasn’t there when she talked to men.  She’d felt like a god, like a hypnotist, like a witch from a fairy tale.  When it was another woman, she could give anything, take anything, and the next day, it would all be like it had happened in a dream.

It was a technique that worked even better in sun-drenched Naples.  Katya barely had to thicken her accent, to make her phrasing a little more stilted, and men would believe practically anything.  She could point to a fishing boat and say, “And what is that?” and they would trip over themselves explaining the ocean to her, as if perhaps they didn’t have maps and ships in Russia.  It had paid dividends so far around her husband’s new associates--they were careless of the things they said to each other in front of her, provided they said them in Italian.

Sofia was not careless, and Sofia wasn’t in a great hurry to explain anything to Katya, and when the day’s business was done and Katya had a moment to herself, she found that it made her want to tear her hair out.  Or perhaps Sofia’s hair. 

That would at least break the glacial calm on that porcelain face, bring some expression into those dark eyes.  And it would be very satisfying, getting a great fistful of those raven curls and giving them a good hard pull.  Sofia might even make some noise, if she did that.

Katya had met commissars with less self-possession than Sofia.  If the Italians hadn’t proven themselves inveterate chauvinists time and again, she’d have suspected Sofia of being one of Ambrosini’s assassins, though Goncharov had told her they did things differently here.

“They have a system,” he’d said, when she’d told him she didn’t trust Andrey around him. “Like a machine.  If a man wants you dead, the word passes from one man to another until it gets to a man he’s never met, and you’ve never met.  That’s the man who kills you--a stranger.”

It was uncivilized, apparently, to kill your own enemies.  Katya wondered if they made love the same way.

Katya thought of giving someone a kiss, letting it pass from mouth to mouth until it came to Sofia from a stranger.

“How do they know why a man is dead?” she’d asked. “How do they know who ordered it?”

Goncharov had spread his hands and shrugged, mimicking Andrey’s response whenever someone brought up too many specifics for his taste. “They simply know.”

There was an art to it, in Russia.  The giving of absurd alibis, the witnesses who were mistaken.  Everyone saw a man or his right hand walk into the home of his enemy, but then when the police came no one had seen it after all.  Enough money was paid, and then the police stopped asking.  People knew to take you seriously, that you weren’t someone to slight or to cross.  People knew there was fire in your blood, that you’d come for them.  They knew what it was over, too--after that, they stayed away from your woman, or your money, or your family.

The Italian way seemed little better than putting it in the hands of their fickle god.  She might as well go into one of the cathedrals and pray for Sofia to kiss her.

“You’re sulking,” Goncharov told her one morning.  She hadn’t been sulking, but she still didn’t trust Andrey, and he was coming over after breakfast.  Goncharov forgot sometimes that she could watch him, too. “I’ll call Mario and have him send Sofia over.  She can drive you to the market.”

“And get what?” she asked.  She was sulking now, just a little bit, because she didn’t like being accused of sulking when she wasn’t, and because she didn’t like the eddy of excitement and disappointment swirling in her belly.  She could ride in the back while Sofia drove and look her fill.  She could make Sofia carry her bags and translate for the merchants at the stalls.  She couldn’t make Sofia pay attention to her.  She couldn’t make Sofia look back.

“Whatever you want.” His gaze went to the flowers in their vase at the center of the table, bright, beautiful things unthinkable this time of year back home. “Something you’ll remember, if we can’t come back again.  Something to write your mother about.”

Katya stopped sulking.  Goncharov was right to keep the possibility of being recalled in mind.  There were others who wanted what they had, and it was easier to bend an ear when you were there in person instead of basking in the Mediterranean sun.  The Italians had a fickle God; she and Goncharov had a fickle Party.

“Fine.”

By the time she had finished dressing, Sofia was waiting on the front steps.  Andrey couldn’t help but stare at Katya when she swept past, that thing she didn’t trust pulling his eyes tight under his thick brows as Goncharov kissed her cheeks.  Andrey clasped her hands lightly, a combined greeting and farewell, and the band of her wedding ring shifted under his grasp.

Sofia checked her watch instead of staring when Katya came to the door, and Katya wished petulantly that she could show the same level of detachment.  Sofia was dressed well but not extravagantly, and Katya couldn’t help but let her eyes trace the shift of Sofia’s muscles, the sway of her curves, the toss of her hair.  Katya had dressed well and extravagantly, all reds and golds against the bright white of her dress, and Sofia found the scratched glass face of her wristwatch just as compelling.

It was infuriating.  If Sofia had been Russian, she’d have understood what she was doing.  Katya could have done something about it, if Sofia at least understood.  They could have fought in the street.  Katya could have slapped her and torn her braid and called her something indecent in front of everyone.  Katya could have made Sofia hate her, if nothing else. 

But no--the Italians did things differently.  Katya would just look like a barbarian, and Goncharov would have to smooth things over if they wanted to keep the rubles flowing back to Novorossiysk, and it would either be like it hadn’t happened or retribution would come out of the blue, from nowhere.  To not even have the luxury of Sofia’s anger--it was intolerable.

Katya envied the wind that tousled Sofia’s hair on the drive to the market.  She should stop making a hell of paradise and tell Goncharov to ask Mario for a different driver.  Mario had insisted, when they’d taken the house.  The roads in Naples weren’t like Russian roads, he’d said.  They needed an experienced hand at the wheel.  And it was better for business to make sure the driver was discreet.  Mario would arrange for drivers, as their friend. 

Katya thought that he sent Sofia to drive them because Mario hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her that first night when they’d met over dinner, and he thought that what he couldn’t do, no man could do.  Mario didn’t want trouble, not the unpredictable kind of trouble.  Not over a driver.  Katya didn’t know if it was because Italian women didn’t know how to love or if it was because Italian men ignored love affairs between women the same way Russian men did.  Or maybe Mario just knew Sofia.

The market was drowsy and quiet when they arrived, and Katya tried to imagine what the streets in Leningrad looked like now.  It had been such a long time since she’d been home.  There wouldn’t be flowers now, she was certain of that.  Her gaze fell on a patch of vivid red.  Or pomegranates. 

She remembered the first time her mother had given her one.  She hadn’t known the trick for opening them yet, but she’d wanted the seeds so badly.  She’d ripped it open with her hands, precious tart juice staining her nails and running down her arms.  Her father had laughed and called her his little lioness before giving her a knife to do it properly.

Katya hesitated, hand resting on the plumpest one in the pile.  There had to be limits to even Sofia’s stoicism.

“What sort of apple is this?” she asked, picking it up and turning it over.

“Apple?” Sofia asked slowly.  She was probably trying to decide if Katya had said the wrong word or if Katya was playing a joke on her.

A joke, of sorts, but Katya would never admit it. “Da.  What sort of apple?  The skin is so thick.  Do you need a special knife to pare it, as you do with your cheeses?”

“It’s not an apple.”

“Then what, if not an apple?” Katya tossed it in her hand, demonstrating its firmness.  A persimmon of the same hardness would be vile, completely inedible.  Her gold bracelet flashed on her wrist as her hand moved.

“It’s a pomegranate.”

“A what?”

“A pomegranate,” Sofia repeated, irritation creeping into her voice.

“What do you do with them?”

“You cut them open and eat the seeds.”

Katya picked out a half dozen and paid the boy minding the stall.  After that it was easy enough to keep going.  She knew what Goncharov would like.  Fresh white bread.  Some sort of exotic hard cheese ripened in caves by the sea, made with the milk of goats fed on herbs and sweet grasses by the same family since the time of the Romans.  Jam from fruit that you couldn’t get in Moscow, wine that tasted like herbs grown in the sun, flowers that could fill a room with their perfume. 

Time was fleeting, and fortune was more mercurial even than God or the Party.  What point was there in denying yourself when someday the memory of past pleasures would be all you had left?  She and Goncharov understood each other in that respect.  They understood, too, that there were things a person could do to put a thumb on the scale and maybe keep fortune by their side longer.

“What sort of wine does Signore Ambrosini like?”

“I don’t know.” Sofia shrugged around the bags. “He doesn’t drink when he’s conducting business.”

Katya had a moment to think that it was perhaps Sofia’s turn to play the game, then dismissed the thought.  Sofia’s attention was already on the next stall.

“Not even when things are concluded?”

“No.”

Katya tried to imagine it.  It was a bad idea to get too drunk, even once things were agreed on and the papers were signed.  Tempers could get out of hand, words misunderstood.  But not drinking at all would be like spitting in a man’s face.

“Doesn’t that get in the way of doing business?” she asked.  How could a man trust a business partner who wouldn’t even drink with him?  A man who thought he was too good to share your vodka would never honor a bargain with you.

“Not that I’ve seen.  It’s more professional.” Sofia shrugged again, paper rustling at the movement. “He doesn’t say anything he doesn’t mean to say.  Keeps his temper.”

Katya shook her head at that.  Perhaps being bred in the peninsula’s warmth let the people cultivate a certain cold-bloodedness.  If they tried it in Russia, they’d freeze solid and break apart like a sheet of ice on a window pane.

[ragedaisy]

AO3 First Lines

I was tagged by @vault-heck​, thanks:)

rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have fewer than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

1.

Catalyst could not think of what kind of mind to sculpt today.

from 3 Flowers For Cash, where my Decepticon artist OC Catalyst is feeling a bit glum and decides to gatecrash an artist party for fun and things do not go well for him. (Or anyone else present) 😬 (mind the tags)

2.

When Lizzie Wyath stepped into her favourite bar, she saw a man in a fancy suit sitting at her usual table

from Derek Roy's Failed Charisma Check. Derek offers Lizzie Wyath a job and a fancy laboratory at the vault where he’s from. They could use someone with her talents and mindset! Only catch? It’s in Canada...

3.

Dear Self, Today, a small black-and-white tomcat, with a magnanimous gesture of his tail, granted me an audience in my living room

from Small Fictions. A lonely man is visited by a cat (a series of poems and style exercises, inspired by fanfiction)

4.

About a year ago, he found a loose ceiling panel in the studio, with some kind of crawling space behind it

from From Bad To Totally Screwed. When the Overboss of Nuka World suddenly decided to wipe out all the gangs, RedEye thought it best to lay low for a while. He knew the perfect spot, too, a hidden room where no one would ever be able to find him. But find him she did and now she wants to talk to him...

5.

The door slid open with a swoosh and the Overseer of the [location redacted] Ronto vault stepped inside Derek's room

from Contribution to Science. Overseer Alkali pays a visit to Derek Roy, her friend and unofficial right hand man. (mind the tags)

6.

"So  then I broke into Smeltrise's place and reprogrammed his entire collection of severed Autobot heads, added proximity sensors, some batteries and now they all sing every time he goes near them!"

from The List. My Decepticon artist OC Catalyst is hanging out with Sharpshooter, the Autobot Art Critic (borrowed from Slyjinks). Sharpshooter tries to convince Catalyst to be a better person, however, Catalyst's idea of "acceptable behaviour" is "what I have observed from my peer group" so yeah that's a bit of a challenge there.

7.

Toby looked around in wonder at his new friend's place, it was so nice!

from 1812. Things are looking up for Toby Quinn; he gets to hang out with his amazing new friend, a handsome and mysterious vaultie who came all the way from Canada!

8.

'Caravans ain't that well guarded'. Well these folks obviously hadn't heard that rumour.

from A raider, a tire iron and a deathclaw. A vignette about a raider having a very bad day, which then gets worse

9.

It had been a long day's march, when three Gunners suddenly heard an unfamiliar voice.

from Derek Roy's Epic Wasteland Adventures. Three Gunners come across a lost vaultie in fancy power armour. He seems quite trusting and naive, so getting him drunk and stealing his gear should not prove too much of a challenge, right?

10.

Before that disastrous bash, two months ago now, Afterglow and Mosh only ever saw each other at parties.

from The Invitation. After the events of 3 flowers for cash, Mosh and Afterglow have both lost people they care about and they seek to comfort each other. Desperate for some semblance of normalcy, Afterglow invites Mosh to yet another artist party. She's not taking no for an answer. Now Mosh has to rethink a lot of his life choices, not in the least his choice of friends...

I think most of my mutuals already did this meme 🤔? Tagging @beckyh2112 and @slyjinks if you want? Or anyone else who wants to do this meme?

[svankmajerbaby]

✨️🎀🎈💞💝🕯🎙🤲💌

!! thank u so much for the ask. i love talking about writing......

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

-hmm theres a point in which i have to tell myself not to worry about likes or comments bc what really matters is me getting the practise and exercising my writing muscles and having fun with it... But. i do wish i could get more ppl into my toy story fic. its got a whole bunch of wonderful comments and kudos and stuff, i just feel so proud of it and writing it came so easy and i poured so much of my love into it, i really really wish anyone who loves these characters would read it too.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

-english is not my first language so grammar isnt often The Best, but i take a lot of care with using words and expressions as correctly as possible, and I try to always spell words right (i dont think ive ever confused loose and lose, for example, which ive seen confused a few times). some descriptions of spaces are particularly well done, at least to my own criteria, and the song choices are fun (or at least fun to write and picture in my head).

🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

- honestly, ive no idea. i think i get verbose, and i write long dialogue scenes. i overuse the — to lead into another thought, because thats kind of like how my mind works. i try to be "cinematic" in my writing and always start a scene with a description of a place, its lighting and its sounds, like im used to when writing scripts. and i got the sense that usually the characters often ramble and go on long discussions about stuff that maybe normal people wouldnt just start out discussing so strongly. but honestly id much rather someone else outside my own perspective told me what my writing is like, i would trust them more than my own opinion.

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

-the characters!! everything is important, and stuff like grammar often jumps out first for me... but i need to enjoy how the characters are written, and feel like theyre real people with genuine motivations and interactions. i dont mind too much if theyre not super alike to canon, as long as they feel true to the core of their personality and values.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

-i was surprised to even get comments on my barbie frankenstein one. i loved writing it and it came through so easily and comfortably, but even though i had used that moderately popular meme of reimagining barbie as a gothic protagonist as inspiration i didnt really think it would be anything but something i liked to picture existing. i was so happy to see people enjoyed it too.

🕯️(there are two questions with this candle emoji symbol? i chose the first one, idk why theres two) was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

-the tiff fic :'^) ive always liked writing sorta dark stuff, ever since i was little, but this was on another level. sometimes i felt (and still do) feel a bit awkward bc i really do push myself to write stuff i feel a bit embarrassed or shocked by, but i do think that if i want to be a better writer it does me good to make an effort to depict stuff that makes me uncomfortable and seek to write it in a sense of finding a way to both make if effective and relatively tasteful (or at the very least in-character).

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

- i have never heard about pod-fic before, but i guess i can imagine what it is (wonder if its like an audiobook, or if it has sound effects and the like??). i would love to listen to an audiobook of the barbie frankenstein fic mostly bc i would love so so much to hear the dramatic literary dialogue ive written in kelly sheridans barbie voice. also now that i think about it i have no idea what the creature would even sound like... that would be an interesting challenge.

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

-practise writing in english, a sense of accomplishment (when i get to finish something!!) and every once in a while some strong validation in the form of ppl liking what i write... all of it is super valuable to me, especially practise and the push and drive to finish stuff to upload, but the validation in particular just really hits that dopamine in my brain i guess

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

-its from the glen and glenda fic im halfway planning! i got a few dialogues written and some scenes sketched out, but its still a long way to go. im very excited about it tho! ive grown to really love the versions of the twins ive made in my head. hopefully theyre faithful to their screen depictions while also adding a bit more depth and character building ive wanted to take them through.

[warsinmyhead]

ramble with felix and minho

x | meme status: accepting!

At first Minho thought he was coming face-to-face with the older version of his “brother” Yongbok, who was included with his fake family that lived in Seoul during the time that the KGB sought to steal intel from S.H.I.E.L.D. But upon making some brief observations of the young man he encountered while trying to talk Petra down, he realized quickly that this guy was NOT his brother. (As his younger brother was blonde, wide-eyed, and quickly stopped believing in fairytales and monster when their “father” told the boys that it was just garbage written to amuse children.)

The first time the guys sparred against each other, Minho perhaps let his anger from earlier get the better of him and he was a bit too aggressive with the punches thrown. It’s only when he won when it triggers a memory of him beating up a weaker trainee in the Red Room, while his instructors looked on with approval. He was angry at himself and disappointed that he caved into that kind of behavior after all of these years, which makes him walk off without warning. Maria Hill eventually shares with Felix that the Red Room was rough on the former KBG agent and that he prefers to not talk about his time there.

In the beginning Minho is on guard and isn’t used to Felix barging in or inviting himself to join Minho for moments or tasks that he does alone. (Ex. Cooking, bathing, etc.) Felix has probably had his fair share of close calls with Minho and his bare hands or maybe a knife if the former sneaks up on him while cooking. Over time, Minho calms down and doesn’t assume Felix is trying to attack him like the other trainees did when he was in the Red Room. At one point, Felix makes a joke about the fact that Minho’s not threatening him with a knife at his throat. “You know, I was starting to wonder if you were into–” “Don’t finish that sentence.”

If the pair spar for practice and exercise, it’s a toss-up. Sometimes Minho will win and other times Felix will. Minho never dwells on the victory and quick to get up off Felix. As they start getting closer, sometimes Felix might crack a joke about their situation, regardless of who won, which might earn an eye roll and an exasperated groan from Minho.  “We are just practicing.” “But does it just have to be fight practice?”

After the incident with the paperwork, the pair don’t speak about what happened. Maria Hill figured out what happened, but she doesn’t say anything to Fury or anyone else about what happened that night. The paperwork did get done either way. 

There was a point where Felix disliked Wanda/Scarlet Witch and struggled to trust her. Mainly it has to do with the fact that she forced Minho to relive his worst times in the Red Room when she was working for Ultron. Seeing Minho become as dazed and withdrawn as the first time he sparred against the agent concerned Felix. He didn’t do anything physical or verbal to threaten Wanda, but Felix did side-eye her a couple of times out of distrust until she eventually became a regular member of the team. 

There was a point where Felix did corner Changbin, AKA Hawkeye, and demanded to know if he and Minho were former lovers. The suggestion made Changbin laugh really hard, puzzling the hunter for a couple of moments. Eventually Changbin explained how he was supposed to take down Minho when he was a KGB agent, but he thought they could use someone like him and recruited Minho for S.H.I.E.L.D. Upon meeting Changbin’s partner and little ones, Felix gets closure knowing that Changbin is happily married and not a contender for Minho’s affections. 

“I didn’t know you danced,” Felix commented one day when watching Minho do a series of pirouettes smoothly across the room without getting dizzy.  “It was a cover for all of the agents in the Red Room,” Minho explained. “All of us started in ballet, but a few of us did train in other styles too, in case the missions called for another style of dance.”  “So, you wanna take me dancing some day?” Felix joked.  “People still go out and dance? Thought that was only something Steve did. He mentioned owing some girl a dance in the 1940s.”

“These are...huge,” Minho complained when Felix left him some clothes one day. “Don’t tell me you wear these and they stay on your body.” “What are you implying hyung?” Felix teased with a wiggle of his brows. “Agh not that way, I meant they could be too big and fall down!” Minho corrected himself.  “You wear a lot of tight clothes – it can’t be good for your circulation,” Felix argued. “Yah, they’re not that tight! I can breathe!”

The Winter Soldier is a touchy subject for Minho. He doesn’t like to discuss her with other agents, not even Fury or Hill. He eventually explains his history with her to Felix, as he feels the young man deserves a proper explanation for why he doesn’t fight as aggressively when matched against her. Over time, he is able to drop his feelings for her, but Felix does distance himself from the soldier if they run into each other. The pair do talk things out in private one day when the solider isn’t brainwashed, and swap stories. Felix eventually comes to learn that like Minho, the Winter Soldier is not romantically interested in Minho anymore and has moved on. Granted, maybe Felix might probe her for some 19+ stories about Minho so he can get a better understanding of the agent in that sense.

“Blonde?!” Felix gasps upon seeing Minho after months of him being on the run, due to the Sokovia Accords.  “The red sticks out – had to blend in and change things up.” “Why didn’t you call?”  “Ouch! Felix, what the –” “Tell me next time, will ya?!” 

“You had my expensive mattress all to yourself for months.” “It was too big.” “Excuse me? You hog it every time I see you in it!” “That’s because I knew you were coming back. But when you went on the run, I didn’t know what to do. Fury told me secretly to just give basic answers to that secretary guy and I said I didn’t know where you were. Also had to prove to them I didn’t have any powers or tricks. How did this guy decide to control all superheroes?” “Try, the other governments voted too.”

“I see the kids call you ‘Uncle Min’, did you want kids of your own?” “I can’t. The Red Room took that away – if you graduate from there, you undergo a sterilization procedure. It’s effective.”  Felix is pretty upset to hear that Minho and the other graduates of the Red Room had no say in their futures, including starting a family the traditional way. But he offers support to Minho if the agent ever wants to talk about it. 

Minho did fill in Felix about his time on the run after the Sovokia Accords were signed. The latter is curious to hear about the family reunion and will laugh, cringe, and listen as the agent describes breaking his “father” out of a high security Russian prison, trying to spar against his younger “brother”, and getting closure by killing off the man in charge of the Red Room for good. 

[feministfocus]

Stress on Steroids: High School Edition

by Crystal Fan

Pulling all-nighters for exams. Dark eye circles. Classmates who are half asleep in class. My senior year of high school has been more hectic than I could have ever imagined. It seems like everybody is suffering from a concoction of feeling overwhelmed, senioritis (burnout), and a terrible case of stress. Looking around, the senior year has decimated us, with things coming at us a thousand miles per hour. For starters, there's academic pressure. Then there are extracurriculars, family life, friends and relationships, cats on the internet, and the black hole that is social media. The cherry on top is college applications. Senior year is a never-ending to-do list requiring a NASA-level scientific and precise approach to time management and perfection. In short, it's impossible. There is no human way to juggle everything. There are too many balls in the air. 

Eventually, something gives. We sacrifice things. Sleep. Mental health. Not to mention sanity (some of which I'd like to keep in case I need it one day). It is almost as if we live in a never-ending cycle of to-do lists, exams, and the pursuit of accomplishments. This quickly becomes exhausting. 

In short, high school, especially senior year, is a breeding ground for stress. Stress multiplies and feeds off of everybody in a frenzy. The statistics speak for themselves. Approximately 45% of high schoolers report experiencing stress daily (CrossRiverTherapy). Roughly 61% of teenagers between the ages of 13-17 admit to feeling pressure to attain high grades.

Generally, there are two types of events that cause stress: external and internal. External event-driven stress typically dissipates after the event is over. Internal event-driven stress is caused by thoughts and things we say to ourselves. 

While some stress can be beneficial and acts as a motivator to prepare us for events, too much stress leads to unhealthy short-term repercussions such as fatigue, insomnia, unhealthy relationships with food, trouble focusing, and becoming overly anxious or depressed. But chronic stress? A whole different ball game. According to the Mayo Clinic, chronic stress holds severe consequences such as muscle tension and pain, headaches, weight gain, and even heart attacks. 

Stress is a fact of life. It is inevitable. There is no way to avoid it; once you get comfortable, life throws you another curveball. So the question is: do we manage stress so it doesn't take over our lives? 

Well, here are some stress management tips Harvard University has for high schoolers: 

Keep a journal

Download a mindfulness or meditation app

Eating healthy meals

Exercising regularly 

Getting plenty of sleep

Limiting caffeine

Reaching out to family and friends for support

Making time for hobbies

Some tips that have worked for me:

Start a gratitude journal. Spend 5 minutes daily jotting down things, events, or people you feel grateful for. Even something that brings you the slightest amount of joy counts

Establish a meditation routine that works for your schedule, and meditate for at least 5 minutes daily. 

Talk to someone. You don't need a therapist to feel better. You can talk to a trusted confidant about your worries, concerns, and challenges. You are not alone. There is always someone willing to listen. 

Additionally, you can try:

Volunteering in the community. Science has shown that giving back makes people feel better. 

Finding ways to laugh more. Spend time with people who make you feel good, watch a comedy, or find memes online. 

Seeking professional help through counseling or therapy. Mental health services can be highly beneficial. 

Citations:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037

[ailtrahq]

A brief burst of optimism circulated in the Pepe community last week after its price hinted at a downtrend reversal. Yet, it has once again begun to crash. This comes after weeks of sell pressure pushing the price -85% from its all-time high (ATH), currently trading at $0.0000006359. With that in mind, traders opt for more promising projects showing more notable potential. One is Meme Kombat, which has surged past $450K in just over two weeks of presale. Pepe Coin Continues to Dump Amid Further Bearish Sentiment and Falling Volume The recent geo-political turmoil in the Middle East led the crypto markets to significant volatility over the past few days. However, Pepe, alongside XRP, has fared as one of the worst affected tokens.  While the reasoning behind XRP’s dump remains unclear, Pepe has faced several fundamental issues that have rapidly diminished interest and trust in its project. Pepe is currently down 11.06% in the past seven days, trading at $0.0000006359 with a $248 million market cap. However, its 24-hour trading volume drains even quicker than its price, at just $57 million and down 15% in the last 24 hours. Unfortunately, Pepe is at the center of a “pump and dump” money laundering fiasco. The former head of OpenSea Ventures was accused of a “premeditated rug” by NFT Ethics, an NFT-related news account. The report alleges that the accused bad actor used PEPE to launder $10 million it stole from investors. While this is unlikely to affect Pepe’s long-term price, it has undoubtedly tarnished its reputation this week amid other project-related issues. Investors’ most prominent concern is that a group of supposed ex-Pepe team members recently snatched $15 million from Pepe’s multi-signature wallet. The remaining Pepe team members then stated that the culprits had been removed from the team and had access to the wallet revoked, attempting to ease investors’ worry. The event occurred on August 24 and has significantly damaged its price, with Pepe trading at a -42% discount since then. A prominent TradingView crypto analyst, Behdark, recently shared a trade idea predicting a move toward $0.0000003. This would result in a 50% dump to the downside, at which point the trader believes there is a demand block that will prove a strong support level. KhaldHegazy shares Behdark’s bearish sentiment. According to the trader’s recent analysis, we could see Pepe move to lows of $0.00000025-$0.0000002. The analysis shows that this is the strongest support area, which will pique buyers’ interest the most. However, YouTuber Zack Ventura urges his followers to exercise patience, predicting that the Pepe price will enjoy a monumental long-term recovery. That said, recent issues massively damaged its reputation and investor sentiment. Looking ahead, the next meme coins to pump will likely provide a novel and fresh outlook. One is Meme Kombat, a new meme coin with real utility and transparency that has exploded in its presale. GameFi Project Meme Kombat Surges Past $450K and Offers 112% Staking APY – the Next Pepe? Meme Kombat is a new P2E staking coin enabling users to wager bets on AI-powered battles between their favorite meme characters. The project launched as a presales just over two weeks ago, raising over $450K. Its early success can be attributed to its blend of trending topics like meme coins, P2E, and crypto gambling. The project also features a staking mechanism, offering a 112% annual percentage yield. This is a far cry above the market average, with Ethereum staking offering just 4% APY and many other prominent cryptos less than 10%. Another benefit to the project is that the $MK token holds real utility since users will gamble with it. Combined with its staking mechanism, this could create high demand and low supply. In the wake of the Pepe team’s multi-sig wallet blunder, Meme Kombat has a significant advantage in that its team is doxxedfully doxxed. This provides a high degree of trust and transparency, which is missing from most other meme projects.

Considering these factors, it is no surprise that the presale is quickly selling out. However, this means potential buyers must act fast to secure the lowest presale price. Visit Meme Kombat Presale

[gayravi]

i just wanna tell you how i feel | buck/eddie | 7.6k

Buck thrusts his phone into Eddie’s hand, opened to their text thread, and—oh. It’s a picture that Ravi sent him that Eddie obviously sent to Buck immediately, because it was—actually, he doesn’t really know why he sent it to Buck. Ravi sends him random shit like that all the time, from memes to TikToks, and usually, Eddie just reacts to the messages with a laugh or a thumbs up and leaves it at that. But Frank’s been telling him to express himself without words, since Eddie is, according to Frank, emotionally constipated sometimes, and so—he just sent it without thinking. Eddie glances at the picture, mouth quirking a little in the corner. “It’s a meme,” Eddie says, raising an eyebrow at Buck. “I know you know what that is. You’re the one who taught me what they were.” (or, healing through shitty memes sure is cathartic.)

Eddie has a feeling that this isn’t what Frank meant when he said that he needs to find new ways to express himself, but in Eddie’s defense, Frank wasn’t very specific. Sure, he probably meant like, yoga, or something, but this—this works too.

He’s pretty sure Buck disagrees, but oh well. Healing is healing is healing, or something.

It starts a few weeks after the day Eddie almost hits Buck with a baseball bat amid a panic attack that rivals the one that sent him to the hospital that day in the suit shop. Buck had let himself in with his key like he’d been doing for years, and Eddie had thought he was an intruder, and, well—Eddie never thought he’d fully break down in his best friend's arms, but he never thought he’d be shot in broad daylight in LA, either. 

After that, Eddie goes back to Frank. He still doesn’t really think it’s for him; he’s doing it for Christopher, who can’t lose another parent, for his team at the 118, who care about him more than he’s ever been cared for in his life, for Buck, who has been at his side through all of this hell and deserves a partner that he can trust completely. 

So, Eddie isn’t doing it for himself, but he’s still doing it. That has to count for something, right?

Anyway, Eddie is—trying. For Chris, for the team, for Buck. He’s putting in the work, taking himself to therapy, doing breathing exercises, actually talking about his feelings with the people in his life that matter.

But sometimes—sometimes it’s easier just not to say anything. Sometimes it’s hard for him to articulate what he’s feeling, hard to put into words the way his traumas are twisted and hooked into him like barbs, tugging and tugging until he can’t breathe. It’s hard to say I’m really fucking tired of being so broken without setting off alarm bells, so Eddie finds another way to do it. Frank said to find a way to express himself that wasn’t punching walls or just straight up repressing his emotions, and Eddie’s doing that.

He is. Really. It’s just—no one was expecting him to do it like this.

keep reading on ao3

[td-scenarios]

How they react to seeing their S/O crying

First scenarios are a go!

Cody

Will most definitely start panicking at your status and start asking you various questions.

“Are you okay? Did I do something? Do you need space? Should I hug you? Do I need to punch someone?” And you better believe he’ll do that last one based off that one scene of him and Duncan in World Tour.

Goes and brings his stash of candy to you for you to enjoy

If you don’t need space at the moment but instead comfort, you better believe this boy will turn into the biggest cuddlebug. His arms just wrapping around your entire body and him resting his head into the crook of your neck. Would totally start kissing you all over the face until you smiled and were laughing as you told him to stop in a lighthearted manner

Trust me, Cody is not leaving until there’s a smile on your face. Even if you ask for some space he’ll be sending you memes or stupid little drawings.

Also would totally do the really cheesy thing of wiping away your tears and resting the palm of his hand on your cheek so that you can lean into it.

Scott

Doesn’t really understand what’s going on at first. He’s clever, but he ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed at times.

“Why are you crying? It better not be somethin’ stupid, cuz, ya know, back on the farm-” cue you punching him in the face or on the shoulder

That’s when he’s like ‘Oh fuck, something is ACTUALLY wrong. Oh no this is a time where  I have to step up as a boyfriend oh no oh no’

Him awkwardly being all “So....um....what’s wrong?”

His face absolutely breaking upon seeing your shattered expression. Protective boyfriend mode = activated.

“Did someone hurt you? Babe, you better believe that I’ll go and make their life a living hell, trust me.” And then you just slowly shaking your head no and leaning your head onto his chest, which just makes this big softie melt.

Y’all cuddling for a long time until you eventually fall asleep on him and he’s just brooding on the fact that if someone did cause it, he really was gonna go and  beat them up, He doesn’t make idle threats, but for now, it’s just calm between the two of you.

Brick

He gets back from running one of his bi-hourly jogs with Jo to see your form shaking from under a blanket in the cabin. Since you’re under the blanket, he can only assume you’re not cold and immediately comes to the conclusion that you are upset

“Y/N! What has got you feeling so blue right now?” He would try to lower his voice for you, but his same tone only wavers a bit. Habits and all that.

You already know that this sweet boy will drop whatever other plans he had for today to stay in the cabin and comfort you until you were better.

He’d try to suggest going outside and getting some fresh air, but you two would go out for a bit and you’d either see the person who upset you or get reminded of your homesickness or whatever else made you sad, so you two would just go back inside.

Brick being Brick would probably find a way of accidentally making you laugh and he’ll just continue with that until you forgot why you were sad in the first place. 

Mike

Taking a break from the others, Mike finds you sitting on a rock near the beach with your head buried into your folded arms. He instantly comes jogging up to your side and sits across from you, gently saying your name which gets you to look up. When you ask for alone time, he softly shakes his head.

“I can’t leave you until I make sure you’re okay, Y/N. You know me, it’s good knowing that the people I care about are good.” Those words kind of put a smile on your face as you look at the gap toothed boy.

Mike counts this as the start of working your mood back up. He wouldn’t want to make you more sad by making you talk about what upset you, so instead he decides to start telling you funny stories of shenanigans his alters have caused.

“They’re quite the cast! I remember when Manitoba was really proud of himself for digging up some new material, but the guy was already a little bit tired so instead he was just holding some dried cow patty! Vito wouldn’t let him live it down for weeks!” More and more stories of that caliber, all of which would make you giggle in some way or another.

At some point, Mike ends up wrapping an arm around your shoulders and it’s become night time so you’re both just looking up into the stars. A nice serene way to forget about what was plaguing your mind earlier

Dakota

“O M G, babe, are you okay? Your skin is getting a little blotchy.” You would wince a little bit at that prompting her to apologize as you wipe one side of your face with your hand.

The blonde would sit next to you on the cabin bed and ask that you “spill the tea, sugar.

After telling her what’s wrong, she insists on taking care of you for the rest of the day. Bringing you any food she can scour off the island, asking the other teens of the cast to leave the two of you alone, and once your crying dies down a bit she starts doing your makeup.

“I like doing your makeup so much because it gives me a great view of your gorgeous face.”

This comment of Dakota’s immediately gets the waterworks started up again.

She starts panicking, thinking she said something wrong while carefully putting her makeup brushes down. You just shake your head and hug her tightly, to which she’s confused about, but reciprocates anyways.

Leshawna

This girl immediately hugs you as soon as she sees how distressed you are. She gives the best hugs ever, I would know, Fresh TV told me.

“Alright baby, tell me what’s got your feathers in a bunch! Leshawna will make all the problems go away.” Her voice is so calming at that point that you break down even more and choke out what’s been bothering you.

If it is someone, she would definitely start making threats, but wouldn’t dare to leave you alone in this state, so whoever did this to you would definitely get some knuckle sandwiches later.

The girl would take you back to her cabin and lay both of y’all down on her bed and softly sing to you (even if it’s not the best, it’s endearing.) Until you fall asleep in eachother’s arms.

Leshawna would be the first to wake up and would smile upon seeing your face, now with a soft smile instead of the heartbreaking expression it carried mere hours before. You were definitely her everything.

Heather

She really wants to keep up her mean façade like she does in front of everyone and say “ew, you’re showing emotions right now?” or something like that, but she decides that she could never do that to you. Even if anyone else was watching her at the moment.

Heather would take a seat next to you and put a hand on your shoulder. “Tell me what’s up.” And before you could say anything she interrupts, “and no, I won’t tell anyone what you tell me. I would never.” She made sure to keep both her hands up so you could see that she wasn’t crossing her fingers.

You let out a sigh and then hesitantly began telling her what’s up.

“Are you kidding? Hun, you need to put your game face on! Come with me.” She then grabs your hand and takes you around to do calming activities all around the island. Being bitchier to everyone else, but the most soft, kind, caring person in the world for you. She doesn’t let go of your hand at all just to let you know she’s there.

At the end of your day together, your tears long forgotten, both of you sat on a blanket watching the sunset, she looks over at you. “You ready to go kick some loser butt?” She says with a smirk, you sniffle a bit and nod yes. “Cool, lets go.” Her hand finally leaves yours, which saddens you, but she waits for you so you can head back to camp together. Who knew you could go a whole day with your girlfriend without her being TOO focused on the million?

Dawn

You thought you had found a quiet spot to let your feelings free under a shaded tree that may be capable of eating you any second, but how wrong you were. You nearly jump out of your skin when you hear a familiar soft voice speak, “your aura is stained with anguish. What is plaguing you so?”

Dawn’s statement startled you out of your tears for a bit until you began to explain to her what had happened with a shaky voice and it all became too much so you stopped talking.

The look on her face gave away that she knew more than she let on.

“Here Y/N breathe with me.” You would give her a confused look but go along with it since your girlfriend was weirdly knowledgeable in some areas.

“Very good. You’re shaky, but there’s nothing your position won’t fix. Here follow what I do.” Dawn got into a position perfect for breathing exercises and you followed suit. “Your chakras will align in the median in your body and your mind will be freed of its chains, do not be afraid.” She repeated the affirmations in a hushed tone as you two breathed with one another.

It was actually pretty calming. The sounds of the toxic island along with Dawn’s hushed voice made for the perfect aura around you two and you can’t remember a time when you have felt so at peace.

“I can sense that your aura is back to its normal state. Are you feeling any better?” The different words took you out of your zen and you looked up at her and nodded, which made her smile.

“That is nice to hear. Would you like to go look at the flowers with me?

[zulivaris]

Art Block tips that helped me

 I’ve recently experienced art block after 3 or so months of overcoming my last one. Thankfully this block only lasted a few days thanks to some things I’ve observed and noted down from the previous time. So I’m sharing these few tips in hopes that it might help someone get unstuck :D!

First and foremost if you’re tired, sad or anxious don’t be surprised that you can’t make art, go and take care of yourself by treating yourself with kindness and patience, the sketchbooks and canvases will wait for you :)

The tips are under here:

Separate art studies from the creative time:  When you do art studies you’re there to focus on specific things, learn and understand how things work so you can apply them later in your art. Studies take a lot of energy and focus and are the opposite of the creative "flow” of making your own pieces. If you combine the two the results are either unfocused studies or stiff drawings. When you sit down at your desk ask yourself “Do I want to learn something new or do I want to create something of my own?”

When you have an idea don’t be afraid of being messy: Let’s say you want to make a picture of several cats kolo dancing in the moonlight. How do you go about doing this? Well since you came up with the idea you already have a vague image in your mind, sketch it out with simple shapes, stick figures, circle and spheres etc Don’t worry about cat anatomy, or the dancer’s moves, sketch out the essence of it. This method removes the need to be perfect or accurate. 

Ok after the messy sketch then what? Well now that you have sketched out the essence of your idea (and hopefully had fun doing so) now you go on to look for references! You put the creative process on pause and you can do a few brief studies if you need to: anatomy, color schemes, values, poses. Pick out a few of your favorites but don't obsess over them, they are a guide, a tool.

You know much more than you think. You’ve probably been drawing for a few years now. You’ve probably done some studies and drawn more than one type of subject. Then you have already internalized some of that information. I used to be obsessed with capturing the minute detail of the subject, and not be able to draw ANYTHING without reference. Instead of a useful tool, references became another obstacle to my creativity. That’s perfectionism my friend, and that’s no good. Here is an exercise a good friend of mine offered: Draw a few characters, animals and objects from imagination. Make sure that the subjects have no personal value to you (no ocs for example) so that if you make a mistake you won’t feel bad about it. Make the process relaxed and comfortable, pour a nice cup of joe, listen to your favorite music ... You will notice that you do indeed know how to draw some things without reference, and it’ll help with your confidence. 

The more you do studies the more you understand This seems evident but the more you understand your subject the freer you can be and the easier it’ll be to draw it from imagination in the future. If you really struggle with something to the point of frustration (as in you can’t get it right even with reference) It means you have to study it. Have a study list, for example: hands, perspective, color theory etc. And one of those days you want to study pick something from the list, and look for videos on youtube or useful sites like line of action etc. Only study one thing at the time. You can go from studying hands to studying arms since they’re more immediately connected, but you can’t study hands and then jump to learning perspective right after. Trust me you can learn perfectly fine with the resources online, and I’m sure you’re clever enough to do it :D

Mistakes don’t mean you “suck”  I’ve noticed that the two most common causes for art block are perfectionism and lack of self-confidence.  The two can often go in tandem which is worse :’D But let me remind you of something, you can fix your piece along the whole process. Use erasers, lasso tools, liquify , select, paint it all over etc If something looks off to you then you also know deep inside how to fix it. Useful ways to see what clunks: flip canvas horizontally (helps with placement, proportions), turn the image to grayscale (helps to check values and where your eye tends to look), look at your image in thumbnail size and ask yourself if it’s clear, see the pose’s silhouette and ask yourself if you can tell what the character is doing etc. Don’t fret, everything can always be fixed :)

Perfectionism, sometimes it stops you before you begin Perfectionism causes you to overwork a piece, it makes you draw less, it makes art stressful, it brings insecurity. Let’s remove it with a simple exercise. It can be combined with the “draw things from imagination” once you’ve drawn something you like: dont do line art, don’t shade it, keep it as simple and crude as possible and then...post it. Yes, post it. You’re not at your best? You’re only human, this will help you embrace that very human side of you. You make mistakes. So what? The more mistakes you make the more you know what you need to study and the better at art you become. Mistakes are there to show us what we need to learn. See them as another tool and not a sign of failure.

Make the process as enjoyable as possible: You like art. You love drawing. Never forget this. Otherwise why are you drawing if you don’t enjoy it? It’s easy to fall prey to the mentality of those relatable memes that “art= suffering” or “I can’t even draw the other eye”. No no no my friends, these messages are fueling your insecurities instead of overcoming them. Let me tell you what, art is fun. It is. Art is fun, because I decided to make it fun again. And you should decide on that too. Personally I adore lineart but my hand-eye coordination is lacking to do it digitally, so....I just skipped it. Yes. I skipped it. I do the sketch, I clean it up a bit and then jump onto color which I adore. It allowed me to draw more and more freely. When I draw I listen to music, make strokes with the rhythm, I take breaks often and I drink my favorite iced teas. If you don’t like coloring do it in grayscale, if you love lineart then do that etc It doesn’t mean you won’t learn your weak points in the future with studies and practice, but you won’t let your weaknesses prevent you from drawing at all. No no, you won’t let them. You draw because you want to, despite of them.

Don’t wait for inspiration, provoke it  Inspiration is not a divine and capricious muse. You make inspiration. It’s easy just collect all the things you like, music, artists, objects, characters, animals, patterns, plants etc Make boards on pinterest or similar sites, combine things you like. You like suits? You like birds? You can draw a bird in a suit, or a bird-inspired suit design, there is frankly a lot of ideas that can spring up from little things like these.

When a project stops being enjoyable either pause it for now or move on to the next thing. Pieces aren’t precious. They’re not “the one time I got x right” they are one of many. This advice goes mainly to hobbyists who can afford the luxury of passing to a new project. I have a WIP of a character who is overly complicated (I enjoy a challenge from time to time) sitting for half a month. I sometimes come back to it and add something... but as soon as it starts to create discomfort and insecurity instead of enjoyment I move onto something else. In the meantime I created 3 or 4 new pieces. If I had waited on finishing that piece I would have been severely creatively and physically exhausted. The art comes from you, not inspiration. The more art you make the better you become.

That’s about it :D I know it’s long but I prefer to be thorough and cover all the possibilities. If you have read of this: Thank you so much I hope this helps you at least a bit, if it helps only 1 other person I’d still be very happy. Have a nice one, and kick art block’s butt!