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serenityseventeen · 3 years

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Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The First Letter

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To: Choi Seungcheol

From: Y/N

Hi, Seungcheol.

I know that in your life, I've probably been a side character. A classmate in your autobiography or life movie. I don't expect to become anything more than that because now, I don't think I have a chance.

We've known each other since we were young. We've known each other for all of our life basically, right?

I can still remember what a cute kid you were back in kindergarten. You were such a nice little boy and whenever the other kids picked on me, you would stand up to them and say, “Hey! I'll tell the teacher and I'll also tell Y/N's parents about everything!”

I don't know if you remember that, but I do.

When we went to middle school, I think that's when I first began liking you. Even though we live just a block apart from each other, we didn't talk a lot outside of school. Since we were both classmates and knew each other's house location, it was a bit awkward for me, but thank you for talking to me when we waited for the bus at the bus stop together. Sometimes you would just briefly mention my hair or the small details like new shoes or socks.

Thinking about it still gives me hope that you like me.

Throughout middle school, you always fed me hope. Maybe because in general, you were just a charming, manly, attractive, and caring guy. Maybe I'm still misunderstanding too many of your actions.

I can remember so many times that my heart fluttered and my stomach filled with butterflies because of you, Seungcheol. Since this is a letter to you that I won't send, I guess I'll just write them all down here to keep as a memory, just in case I ever miss you or feel nostalgic. You're my first love, after all, Seungcheol.

There was this time when we were in 6th grade. In 6th grade, both of us didn't talk much, and surprisingly, we didn't get a lot of long-term projects together. I don't think we got any at all actually.

Anyway, it was the middle of spring and both of us were just hanging out with our group of friends. You were throwing around a paper ball, playing a game of catch with your friends during the break. I was just being the usual me, listening to my friends talk while drawing dancing cartoons in the empty spaces in my notebook. Sometimes I would glance up and catch a glimpse of you catching the ball.

Despite being in middle school, you had really large, muscular arms. I was watching you and your friend play catch for a bit. Your friend was right next to me, catching the ball, and you were on the opposite side. I turned back to my notebook then all of a sudden, the ball flew right in my face from your hands.

I let out a small “ouch” even though it didn't hurt. Your friend asked me if I was okay, to which I replied that I was fine. Just then, I don't know when you came, but you came in front of me and took my face in your hands. It only hit my forehead but you examined my cheeks, chin, nose, turning my face in all sorts of directions while asking “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” and saying “I'm so sorry” repeatedly. As I'm writing this, the lingering feeling of your warm palms holding my head and the side of my neck still makes my heart race. I didn't think my heart could beat so fast but it did. I think that's when I was sure I liked you more than a one-sided crush. It became a one-sided love for another two years.

There were way too many times my heart fluttered because of you but because this letter is already so long, I will only express my side of three of those times.

I hope this is an event that you remember. It was the day when you, me, and two other friends went to an amusement park. I think of this day as a double date. I can still remember my friend joking about how you and I looked so good together. I don't know if you noticed but I was so shy. She was also joking about how ‘this was a double date’ and because I was being paired up with you like that, I was just feeling over the moon. You didn't even say anything to deny it, you just laughed as I did.

I remember how your friend was convincing you to ride some rollercoasters but you were so afraid and whining. I remember just thinking you were so cute even though the memory is a bit blurry.

After that, because I wanted us to get closer, I said, “I'll ride it with you, it'll be okay.”

You were still skeptical but to me, it looked like you were giving in. I always wonder if it was because of me or if you were annoyed by your friend's continuous convincing. If it was because of me, then, I might regret not telling you my feelings.

Anyway, I rode the rollercoaster with you and I was, evidently, really scared. I was so scared to ride that thing that I was unintentionally screaming with you with my eyes shut. My hand was holding tightly onto the bar that secured us and I couldn't open my eyes at all. Just then, I felt your hand on mine and I could feel the courage to open my eyes. When I finally stopped yelling and opened my eyes, I saw that you still had your eyes squeezed, gripping my hand tightly.

You looked so cute, Seungcheol. If you opened your eyes, you would have seen how brightly I was smiling. Later that night, I remember, I rolled around in my bed and wiggled thinking back on it.

However, whenever I tried to get close with you, I always backed out because even though there are small moments like those I mentioned, there are more times where it seems like you don't like me the way that I like you. I don't know your heart and I know better than anyone that being friends with you would only make my love for you grow deeper.

It's the first time I'm feeling this way for anyone and I don't know what to do. I want to get closer and explicitly tell you that I like you and want you to date me, but at the same time, I don't know which decision is right. We're both still young is the only excuse I can think of, but still, I can't bring myself to tell you how I feel. All I know is that I might be in love with you and you make my heart race.

This is the last thing I'll share in this letter, even though you won't receive it. I just want to tell you my honest feelings that I can't tell you about physically. Yes, I'm being a coward and writing a letter like this.

You know, Seungcheol, you always had this strong aura to you. You can be so cute but you're so masculine too. I like how caring you are, always taking care of your classmates. I admire you for having such a great sense of responsibility. You always remind me when I'm on cleanup duty. Not to mention how charismatic you look when you rap alone at the bus stop. Your deep voice is beautiful when you sing too. I don't think you know how much I know about you. I don't want to seem creepy because these types of things are just things I can't help noticing. I don't even know why I'm writing this down, it just crossed my mind just now. I might as well pour out the rest of my heart to carve you out, right?

There was this one time last year, at the bus stop, when I arrived before you did. Usually, you always came to the bus stop first, and honestly, without you there made me feel uneasy. It made me realize a lot that your presence gave me feelings of reassurance and comfort. Without you there, I was so paranoid that I took out my headphones just in case my headphones would block out the sound of someone coming. I just remember feeling so scared, clenching my cold fists in my lap. The morning was gloomy and it was even raining.

I remember my mind racing, waiting for you to come. However, I was getting even more scared at the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to hear anything so I just wore my headphones again and listened to some music. I was looking down the sidewalk in the direction of my house, wondering if I should ask my father to drive me to school instead, when all of a sudden, you yanked out my headphones.

You were panting, covered in rain. I stood up because I was shocked and nearly wanted to hug you for coming but because we weren't close, I knew it'd be awkward if I thanked you or something. However, what you said to me, has always lingered in my head.

“Hey!” You shouted in a scolding tone, placing your hands on your hips. “What are you doing out here all alone? Why didn't you go back home and get an umbrella, it's raining so much! Plus, you could have waited until I came first until you decided to sit here alone with music blocking your ears! What are you, stupid!?”

At that time, I just stood, frozen. I was wondering why you didn't have an umbrella meanwhile my heart was fluttering. I was wondering why you were scolding me. Were you worried for me? Do you like me? Those questions still float around.

After scolding me, you sighed and apologized.

“No, it's okay,” I said quietly. I couldn't tell you that I was scared because I just didn't know how to say it without making it awkward. If I did say that I was scared since you weren't with me, would things change?

In the end, you were still soaking wet so you called your dad to get you an umbrella. Why was that? Why didn't you just come out with an umbrella?

I have so many questions about so many seemingly minor things you do to me. Are you worried just for me or are you worried for everyone, including all our classmates? Do you find me a source of comfort or were you just too scared to think on the rollercoaster?

Since the questions will never get answered like how this letter will never get mailed, I will conclude negatively, that you don't feel the same way. The main reason I'm writing this letter anyway is that I'm deciding to get over you. I know we're probably going to be stuck in the same high school but I'm going to stop loving you foolishly like this.

Thank you for being my first love. You being yourself made me feel so many different kinds of feelings, so many different emotions. I fell in love for the first time and I'm glad it was with someone like you, even if the ending is bittersweet. After summer break passes, I'll make sure to get over you.

I won't forget you though. I won't forget the way you cared for me. I won't forget the way you are.

You're an unforgettable first love, Seungcheol.

Sincerely,

Y/N

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6/18/21 - 3:39 pm

a/n: I'm in love with the entire Your Choice album!!! Ready to Love is such a beautiful song, gosh, I'm in love with it!!! Seventeen always has superior B-Sides and ANYONE is my new bias wrecker + The members posted on Instagram today for the first time in forever (except for Seungkwan)!!!

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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the council incompetence rant may sound interesting, but its been kind of a while since i worked on it and looking back i dont think i had as much of a point as i thought i did bvkfhskj

but the gist of it was that i was annoyed at the fact that the council were incompetent despite being individually demonstrated to be competent, and/or someone to look out for, if that makes sense.

although now i want to amend that my gripe with this issue is less about that are more about the fact they are often described as doing right or competent things, but as a whole.......are not good or competent at all.

and specifically when it comes to the council, i feel like the later books have started to have an air of complacency around them, and they are much kinder to the council than before.

for example, bronte suddenly becomes a good figure instead of an actual or even semi-threat (which i feel he worked very well as) and while thats not a bad thing in and of itself, we dont see this development happen with our own eyes (maybe through sophie's weekly lessons with him, etc?) and instead are just hit with a 180 he did off-screen, and then suddenly he's a "good guy", and i love his little speech to sophie about the dire wolf pin as much as the next person, but he's also just making excuses for having child soldiers, which i like decidedly less so. but thats. not acknowledged. its treated as some uplifting moment, instead of the reality of a government recruiting a bunch of children to fight their wars.

and the council in general just...lack the vibe and presence they had at the start? i think the ability restrictor was a fantastic idea (in terms of a plot device, not an in-world decision, although it has its merit even there) and really did wonders to how far the council were willing to go if they felt threatened, and we've gotten other hints all throughout the series that they arent something to be messed with, but i feel we never really see that in action, instead getting....either nothing, them being stupid and absurd, or fuzzy-feelings fluff. which i....kind of hate.

im not sure how to fully accurately describe it, but it feels like the council have been...kidified.

- pyro

bold of you to assume I'm not interested by everything and anything all of the time. The world is vast and I'd like to hear everything I can about it!! Maybe looking back you'll find some new points to structure your argument around. Here, I'll give you a thesis statement! While The Council, the governing body intended to protect and serve the people of The Lost Cities, maintains a vice grip on power and control over the people, the use of that influence remains unused and abused without regard to the well being of those it claims to serve; repeatedly throughout the series, councilors make decisions that negatively impact both the main characters and their society as a whole, ranging from social status to physical wellbeing, demonstrating a thorough and ingrained incompetence in their methods. (I wrote that before reading the rest of your ask so pardon me if it's a little off)

oo that's a really good point--as normal people these councilors function perfectly fine within society, but once they're given influence their incompetency become more prominent. But you're very right, the way the council is introduced is like they're this perfect governing body and always make the right calls. There's no "this is our government and this is how it works but here's what could be better," instead Sophie is told "look here's our government they're so cool!! none of your human problems!!" and then there were...several of the human problems. And that attitude is carried throughout the series, even though it's now been acknowledged things aren't working.

I guess its treated in such a way that it's like ah yes, all this suffering and injustice just slipped under our notice but now that we're aware we're gonna fix it. Except they're not gonna fix it because they don't care about that, they care about how their public image may be affected.

yes!! an air of complacency!! that's a great way to put it. I think i touched on that a little bit in one of my posts about the Black Swan becoming less effective in their goals when they started working with the council, but not enough. Now that the council is a bigger part of the story and Sophie's started to get more into the politics of this world, she gets more contact with them. Especially since the Black Swan is kind of working with them now. it's as if they've sacrificed some of their complaints for the sake of working more openly and with access to some of the council's resources, but they gave too much and now it's like...hey are you actually concerned about those things still?? The Council is still doing all those things you didn't like but they gave you access to some info so is it not important anymore or what?

oo Bronte! this is a great point. I think I've made a post about he changed more than anyone else in the series, really. But this happens in like a single moment and we see none of the other thoughts behind it. Sophie inflicts happy emotions on him and he breaks down and suddenly...he likes her for not judging him? I feel like there has to be more to that switch than just not condemning him, and we didn't see any of that. What about that moment motivated him to set aside thousands of years of suspicion and bitterness to warm up to this one child?

and that whole child soldier thing is one of those details that's has two main facets, in a way. It's whether or not we take it literally in the context of canon, I suppose. Because on one hand, the government and world is relying on a group of teenagers to fix it and giving them these huge responsibilities, which is Not Good and opens up a critique of the system in that way. But also, this is a kids series. And so the main characters are going to be kids and they're going to be put into situations they wouldn't normally be to satiate the story-telling. So while it may not be intentional to have child soldiers in this world, it's a consequence of the medium, if that makes sense. Like I 100% understand Shannon's perspective on this one, but that doesn't make it any less uncomfortable to think about outside of the writer's perspective.

oh you're very right; they're vibe has definitely changed. I think beforehand they were used as a presence to incite fear. Here are these powerful leaders and little Sophie who doesn't know what's happening has to face them and earn their approval--they had power over us and the story in that way. Sophie wanted to fit in and as such wanted to earn that approval, so there were stakes when she interacted with them. But now she's separated herself from that desire and doesn't see The Council as all that important or meaningful anymore, so they've lost that presence. They're a nuisance now, something to bother the plot and hinder progress.

But they're still important to the world, so they can't be completely thrown out. I think maybe it would've been a smoother transition if they took on a different role in place of their previous one, as opposed to just loosing it and still existing there. Shannon's approach to them (they're to be respected, don't mess with them, follow the rules, etc.) has stayed the same while Sophie's opinion has changed, so it feels a little off at times.

They were willing to put untested technology that scared them on a child!! That was a majority decision!! That's a scary thing for a government to have the power to do, but now it's like they have no real influence over where the plot happens, they're just being used for continuity. The ability restrictor was so good plot-wise, but I don't think we've ever gotten something like that from them since on a level that leaves an impression. Technically, Sophie was never told to stop wearing it, and yet it was never brought up again. But I don't think that'll be addressed ever.

"the council has been kidified." Excellent verbiage, pyro. They're honestly have been! I don't think they're made any propositions that are actually quality, so instead it's like there these group of bumbling leaders who are always wrong...where's the flavor? Where's the intrigue? I want them to have good opinions and make smart calls from time to time, as it would make it harder and harder to tell good from bad. The always fighting with them is getting old, I have to admit.

I want more from the council! There's so much potential in having a corrupt/bad government that's convinced they're right, especially with the main character interacting with/working for them on a regular basis!! The possibilities, ahhh!!

#this response is 1147 words #I'm starting to think I may be a little more invested in keeper than I realized....#but the council is fascinating!!#the potential they could have...oh I have so many thoughts #unsatisfied with the way they're written #guess I'll just have to fix it myself #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc character analysis #the council #long post #quil's queries #pyrokinetic-loser #kotlc council

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 20)

PART TWENTY! I've written thousands and thousands of words about this particular character's love. That's really crazy. And you guys read thousands and thousands of words! And we're not even done yet!

We will talk about the second half of this "gap arc", including one of my favorite chapters, and then the school will turn upside down, as we will see in the next part.

Chapter Ninety-Three

Mikan was so exhausted saving Narumi from Persona’s alice that she ended up hospitalized. Nobody else seems to know much of what really happened except Natsume, who spends so much time in the hospital these days that it would have been more surprising if he didn’t know she was there too.

Besides, Natsume knows so much about Mikan. He knows about her mom and that the ESP is interested in Mikan possibly possessing the stealing alice. He knows that she’s in danger. He’s vigilant, as I’ve said, and this vigilance means absorbing all possible information. He overhears Narumi warning Mikan to keep her new alice a secret, and Natsume gets confirmation that Mikan does indeed have the stealing alice, that Narumi knows and wants to protect Mikan too, and that this information could possibly get to the ESP if they’re not careful.

Dead man walking. Or rather... dead boy walking.

He walks away from her room, unseen, coughing. He walks down a hall of doctors and patients and nurses and he doesn’t stand out at all. Natsume’s presence in the hospital is so normal that nobody bats an eye anymore. Kaname is hospitalized for long stretches of time, as we shall continue to see, but Natsume merely goes to the hospital for limited periods of bed rest and for getting huge bags of medicine to take before bed so he doesn’t accidentally pass away in his sleep. Natsume might be in just as much need as Kaname for long periods of hospitalization, but he can’t for two reasons.

One, the school absolutely does not want that. They want their favorite child soldier to be always at the ready. He can’t be at their beck and call at all times if he’s cooped up in a hospital bed. He needs to be where they can grab him easily, and pumping him full of medicine and pretending that’s enough for him is the most they will do.

Two, Natsume absolutely does not want that. Mikan is in more danger than ever, and being sequestered in a hospital without seeing anyone leaves her alone and unprotected. How is he supposed to spy on the ESP and Persona for information on Mikan if he’s hospitalized? He needs to be free as a bird, just like they want him to be, so that he can be at Mikan’s beck and call. At the slightest threat, he will be there for her.

Later, when Bear follows Mikan around while Kaname is sicker than ever, Koko can discern that Bear wants Mikan to steal Kaname’s alice from inside of him. Many people are onlooking, and Natsume has a shocked expression, not because he didn’t know that Mikan has the stealing alice, but because he’s concerned for what consequences may come if more people find out. If the ESP comes to hear any of this, serious issues will arise. Things are already dangerous enough, but if the ESP finds out, then turmoil will come sooner than later.

This is an "Oh, shit" moment! How terrible.

Things get worse when the rumors about Mikan’s alice spread through the upper divisions. Mikan gets chased by upperclassmen who want her to steal their alices because they think their star rank will go up if they can catch her in the act. The ESP seems to have purposefully spread such a rumor in order to speed things along. He wants to push Mikan into a corner, perhaps force her into using her alice and exposing herself, so that he has an excuse to swoop in and take her into his custody.

We see a panel of Natsume hearing the news of the middle schoolers’ pursuit of Mikan and he’s just as shocked as before. Her life is endlessly hectic in the worst way. She is always under attack from rumors and speculation and being honest about her alice will only end poorly for her. This is the last glimpse we get of him this chapter, but his reactions, despite the fact that he says nothing this whole time, is enough to give hints to where his mind is right now. His priorities and concerns are all made clear, building up to when he will eventually be quite needed.

Chapter Ninety-Four

Class B is getting ready for swimming lessons in P.E. Most of the class, especially Mikan, are excited for this.

There’s not much Natsume in this chapter either, but we can see him on the poolside, obviously not well enough to swim. Swimming is one of the most physically taxing exercises because of how much it requires you to use your full body. Natsume can’t waste what little energy he has on P.E. when he has missions to do. Those are much more important.

Mikan may get occasionally down or sad about her alice and the uncomfortable state of things, but Ruka is there to cheer her up and play water polo with her. Natsume simply looks on.

Tsubasa spots him, and instantly looks troubled. He and Natsume are not just both in the DA class now, they’re also going on many of the same missions. He’s also the only one who knows the truth about Natsume’s alice shape, and how much the taxing missions affect his body. Seeing Natsume sit on the side and not join in with the others is not a good sign. He’s not doing well.

Fun and games are over! It was never gonna last long anyway!

The panel of everyone having fun while Natsume coughs by himself, isolated from everyone, brings to mind the page from Chapter Nine, so long ago. The last page of that chapter has Natsume being sent on a mission, in stark contrast to the final panel of the rest of the class having fun and bonding over dodgeball.

He could never join in for long was the message we got then, and it’s not any less true now. Natsume let himself get attached to Class B and to Mikan in particular but his fun happy times of joining in on the fun were never meant to last. He can’t play the sax anymore. He can’t run around with the rest of them. Luna was a warning to him as much as she was to Mikan. His time is running out and his life will always be too different from the rest of theirs. He will always be shrouded in darkness and an imminent death. They can take occasional breaks from the stress and worry of their lives, but he can’t. Not anymore. Not in any real way. Not without it taking a serious toll on his body.

The last page features two groups of best friends: Natsume and Ruka looking out the window at Hotaru and Mikan as they walk through the rain.

Bad things are going to happen. And that right soon.

There’s a feeling of foreboding in this arc. The last page carries some threat with it while also trying to stay on the side of hope. One should not take things for granted is the main take-away, a harsh lesson for these kids to learn, especially in this way.

These few chapters between the Sports Fest and the next arc are almost similar to the gap chapters between the Hana Hime den chapters and the Sports Fest. They are a much needed respite from the heavy chapters before and after. The difference is that these gap chapters are heavier and there’s a threat looming over Mikan and the others in each one. The happiness and lightness of the Valentine’s day chapter are not present, even in this sweet chapter about swimming. Everyone is unsettled and disturbed, aware that something horrible is to come.

Chapter Ninety-Five

And nothing good ever lasts, as this chapter reveals. The tension that has been building for so long is starting to reach a boiling point.

A lot will happen here. Hotaru gets called to the headquarters. Yuka returns to the Alice Academy campus to find Mikan. Tsubasa goes missing.

God, could they stop sending children to get blown up for FIVE MINUTES?!

Natsume and Tsubasa are separated during a nondescript mission. A warehouse explodes and Natsume screams out for Tsubasa, not knowing where he’s disappeared to, or if he’s even still alive.

Tsubasa is missing, his location unknown. Natsume has returned to campus from the mission, but he hasn’t been seen by anybody yet either. He’s busy trying to locate Tsubasa, trying to find information.

Natsume goes on missions all the time. He goes with other DA types and is frequently in life or death situations with them. That being said, he hates most of his classmates, Youichi being one exception. But Tsubasa is different. They have an unspoken respect for each other, and might even be considered friends. They spent a lot of time in the DA class on missions that we haven’t seen in the manga and their work to find--or rather not find--Yuka and protect Mikan has probably brought them closer.

Natsume wants to find Tsubasa because he’s so important to Mikan, because she loves him like a big brother and losing him would break her. He wants to find Tsubasa because Tsubasa is his friend too. If something happened to him on a mission they went on together, then it’s his responsibility to bring him back, and he might even feel guilty for his disappearance as well. Knowing what we do about Natsume’s self-esteem, martyr complex, and tendency to blame himself for everything, he is probably not taking this very well.

It’s exciting and nerve-wracking to see so many people involved in this chapter, but seeing as everything’s coming to a head, many of the characters narratively have to be involved.

Nobara, who discovers that Narumi plans to run away with Mikan to keep her safe from what’s to come, is soon after made aware that she will be blessed with a friend in the DA class: Mikan. Nobara and Natsume do not get along, but so far she’s been diligent in communicating with him about information she discovers that he would not otherwise find out. There’s no way she wouldn’t try to reach out to him, which explains why he knows about it.

Natsume has been mainly absent from the chapter, and from school as well. Nobody has seen him, because he’s too busy trying to find Tsubasa. But it’s nighttime now and everyone is going to sleep. The rumors about Tsubasa’s disappearance are all around the school and he knows that Mikan knows by now. And she’s all alone.

So he takes a break from all the work he has to do to go and comfort her. He cannot leave her alone, even if he originally planned on it.

He appears in her window and she rushes to him. She asks him questions, about where he’s been and all those wounds on his body, but he didn’t come here to talk about what happened to him. He’s here for her. He confesses that he hadn’t wanted to see anyone until he’d found Tsubasa safe and sound, but he had to see her, fearing that she was crying on her own.

They're both sad. They're each other's comfort.

Natsume knows Mikan, that she frequently acts fine even if she’s suffering. Her resilience and determination are great traits, and it’s easy to get lost in the illusion that she should always be bubbly and optimistic and smiling, but even a girl like Mikan needs to let it out sometimes. Finding out that someone you love is missing is not easy, and smiling in the face of that is not something that even Mikan can do all the time. She needs comfort, and Natsume wants to be there for her.

He’s wanted this the whole time, deep down, to be someone she could rely on, someone who could comfort her, and now he’s the only one who can. All the things he’s wanted to do for her this whole time: to comfort her, to tell her it’ll be okay, to hug her. He does it all because after all they’ve been together, she knows now that he’s someone she can rely on.

She’s crying, and she admits that she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to, because she has to cry in Natsume’s place.

Natsume came to comfort her, yes, but he’s been through a lot too. He also cares about Tsubasa and has been suffering on his own for even longer. He also needs comfort, and because he won’t let himself cry, she’ll do it for him. Mikan can see that he can’t afford to not be perfectly composed all the time. She’s thinking of him, too, and it must be nice to be seen so clearly by somebody he loves.

She knows that he's close to Tsubasa too, even if he won't admit it. THEY'RE EACH OTHER'S COMFORT.

He tells her he will find Tsubasa, and “about her too”, which means he’s letting her know he’s taking care of her. He will keep an eye out and try to keep her safe. He’s hinting that he knows about her other alice, and that he’s on top of it. He has to go now, but his farewell--his promise--is his final way of comforting her for the night. She doesn’t need to worry too much about Tsubasa or what will happen with the school, because he will fix it all. He will protect her.

Conclusion

There's something looming over the kids at the academy. Something really bad is going to happen, and everyone seems somewhat aware at this point. Natsume is at the ready for the slightest threat to Mikan, and he will finally be able to spring into action in the next edition of this already-too-long essay.

So... This is the twentieth part. If I'm to guess, I'd say there's not going to be another ten parts to make it to thirty, but I might be wrong, depending on how long my analysis gets in the last parts of the manga. As I post this, I'm about fifty chapters ahead (which sounds impressive but actually isn't considering the Time Travel Arc has groups of entire chapters that I had to skip). Maybe it'll get to something like twenty-eight but I'm not sure about thirty. We'll see. Once upon a time I thought it'd be forty, even! No, not Natsume's. Mikan's, maybe, but not Natsume's.

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fitzs-trained-monkey · 3 years

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Chapter Thirty-Six: How I Did It - By Jack The Ripper

Rated PG-13: For dark themes and language

Masterlist

~We'll never get free Lamb to the slaughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water? The price of your greed Is your son and your daughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water?

Beg me for mercy Admit you were toxic You poisoned me just for Another dollar in your pocket Now I am the violence I am the sickness Won't accept your silence Beg me for forgiveness~

"He's here."

Crossing the Event-Horizon

That's what that's called. I've always thought that's the most beautiful way of putting it. The words have a certain ring to them.

Crossing the Event-Horizon

It means crossing the point of no return. That itself - the point of no return - could mean a lot of things. It could mean the beginning. It could mean the end. It could mean the infinite. It could mean life. It could mean death. It could mean war, peace, happiness, sadness, or anything in between.

But it means one thing for sure.

Crossing the Event-Horizon means there's no going back.

If I had to identify a beginning to the end of my story, then I think that little red dot on the map of time is where I'd stick my proverbial pin. That one little sentence, those two little words.

Yes, it was that moment, I think.

That was when it all started to go wrong.

"Felix is here," I said quietly, "He's outside."

I didn't know what I was going to do to get my revenge from that point. All I knew was, in order to kill Felix, I would need to get to him. And that meant getting away from Jack. Getting away from the son of the devil is something certainly easier said than done.

I would have to do it in a manner which would compel him and the Winchesters to come 'save me'. Of course, I could just knock Jack out and ditch him, but then I would have no back-up if things with Felix went sour. Now, if there was one thing I had learned in the five years leading up to my presence in that lighthouse, it was redundancy. It never hurts to have a safety net. Mine just happened to be a Nephilim.

"You remembered to lock the door, right?" Jack joked. I huffed a laugh. "We're safe in here. Don't worry, Marty. I'll protect you."

Isaac shook his head. "Felix has hostages. Two of 'em." He informed me.

"It's not me I'm worried about," I said to Jack, "This is a hostage situation."

The Nephilim's expression darkened and Isaac rolled his eyes.

"Personally, I say we go on the offensive. I mean, ya boyfriend here has more than enough juice to disintegrate seven dudes, right? Just waltz out there like we own the place, boom, clap, poof, TA-DA!"

"Ya know, that's actually not that bad of a plan," I said, nodding. I relayed the message to Jack who nodded.

"I could do it." He seemed confident.

"Felix brought six helpers. Have you ever dusted that many guys before?" I asked.

"I have, yes. Many more, in fact."

Well, that was... thoroughly disturbing. He seemed so calm about it. As if anyone who stood against him was nothing more than an obstacle. That could be me one day. That could be me tomorrow.

"Alright then, lead the way," I said, smirking.

Is it bad that I hoped something would happen to Jack? Nothing deadly, of course. Just something that would stop him from using his powers to take my revenge for me. Felix was mine. I needed to be the one to kill him. If Jack did it then what had been the point of it all? So, was it bad of me to hope that the quickest, cleanest solution wouldn't be the one that played out?

Was that wrong?

Did that make me evil?

Did I care if it did?

"Everything's going to be fine, Marty. You'll see." And Jack smiled at me softly and I wondered how long that would last.

I found myself standing beside him at the door to the lighthouse. My blood was boiling for a fight because this was it. Felix was on the other side of that door and in a few hours, I would be free, one way or another. Jack turned the handle.

Across the Event-Horizon.

A vampire, a ghost, and a Nephilim stepped out into the muggy night air. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but it was more the beginning of a new era, at least for me. I stayed mostly hidden beside Jack, maintaining my air of powerlessness. Isaac stepped into place at the Nephilim's other side to match. I could feel the heat of Felix's presence bleeding through the space between us. He carried with him the foul stench of burning tar and just his scent made me want to wrinkle my nose.

He stood about ten feet away from Isaac, Jack, and me, flanked by six other vampires. There was no army, not that I had expected there to be - that wasn't how Felix worked. He didn't need an army, he'd brought two hostages. Two humans knelt on the ground in front of each of Felix's lackeys, poised to die.

Felix's lips stretched into something that approximated a smile but his little ruse was transparent. I could see the hate simmering in his eyes.

"This little game of ours has been fun but a score still stands to be settled and its resolution, I do believe, is long overdue. There is no place left for you to run, child. Are you finally ready to face judgment for your crimes, Martina?" He said. A smile spread across my face to match his.

"Are you?" I challenged, leaving all human emotion out of my voice. I had been so afraid of him before, but that fear was in the past. I had come to witness true power, I had seen it up close and Felix Ashton Monroe was nothing in comparison. I wasn't afraid of him anymore.

"I suppose you'll just have to find that out," He said. "Now, I've just had a rather unsavory chat with one Samuel Winchester. Barbarians those boys are - him and his brother. I do so hope you'll remember the manners I taught you and come along like a civilized being."

"Ready when you are," Isaac reported. His Darth Vader figure was tucked safely in my boot and I counted the fact that Felix didn't know about him as one of the few advantages I had. Both Isaac and I knew that in order to keep that advantage my brother would have to suffer through being dragged behind a car via his attachment to the figure to prevent Felix from noticing his presence. We had decided a long time ago that I wouldn't face Felix alone. Isaac had protested against us facing him at all.

It was ironic, really. He was the ghost, yet out of the two of us, I was the vengeful one. See, Isaac had never sought revenge against Felix. The only person Isaac wanted vengeance against was himself. He sought punishment for his failure to keep me safe, to keep any of us safe. I suppose he got his wish. Ever since that night, Isaac remained trapped on earth with what was less of a mission and more of a duty. To keep me alive. If one looked at it properly, that was another advantage. Isaac had been formidable when he was alive, but as a vengeful spirit and with a threat on my life to power him up, Isaac was alarmingly deadly.

I didn't need to send him a discreet nod to acknowledge his words. The two of us had been preparing for this moment for five years. We knew our roles. We knew what we had to do.

"Marty isn't going anywhere with you," Jack cut in, his voice firm.

"You're Jack Kline I presume," Felix said in his usual drawling tone. His voice too reminded me of tar with the way it oozed lazily around his words. Everything about him was so clean and sharp yet somehow it was all horrifically revolting.

"I am, yes." Jack nodded. He was trying to sound confident and authoritative, mimicking Sam or Dean or Castiel. But he wasn't like them, it wasn't in his nature. Jack was too soft. Felix regarded him with a smirk, studying the boy in a calculating manner as if Jack were merely a rare antiquity he was appraising in an effort to determine its value.

"The boy born to rule..." He hummed, drawing out the words almost reverently. "Yer smaller than the rumors describe ye to be."

"So are you," Jack replied, standing up straighter and lifting his chin confidently.

"Oh, I'm afraid not." That slime ball cracked a smile. "I'm much too careful to allow for rumors of my physical appearance to drift beyond my reach."

"Really?" Jack challenged. "Because it seems like Martina found us. She told us everything about you."

Felix just laughed like he was talking to something as insignificant as a flea.

"Do ye never listen, young one? I said I don't allow rumors to drift beyond my reach. Seeing as Martina is standing directly ahead of me, I'd say she is well within my grasp. That which is mine does not escape me, laddie. She knows that better than anyone," Felix said.

"If you're so careful, then why come here yourself?" Jack asked, struggling to remain impassive. He didn't really have a poker face.

"Why, because unlike an amateur I actually quite enjoy getting my hands dirty every now and again. Especially with a vendetta this personal. Isn't that right, Martina?" Felix taunted. "Will you be coming willingly or not?"

"I said you can't have her," The half-angel forcefully growled. Jack pushed me behind him, shielding me from my creator's gaze.

"Is that so? I was unaware you had a choice in the matter," Felix accosted, seemingly amused. "Were your circumstances not clearly implicit in the situation? No? Very well! If you insist against using so much as a modicum of intelligence, I suppose I'll have to explain this situation to you. See, these dirty, pathetic excuses for intelligent life forms you see trembling before you are called humans, dear boy. I hear you're quite fond of them, and today they are playing the role which we in the criminal world usually refer to as the hostage. Now, their miserable little lives are in your hands, Jack. I am a man of my word thus I will gladly release them, alive and well, upon the prompt return of my property. However, I will not hesitate to rip them both to shreds right in front of you if I don't get my way. Do you understand that , boy?"

Jack didn't respond. He appeared torn between protecting me and saving the lives of the hostages.

"Good," Felix droned, "Now, are you ready to leave, Martina dear?"

" You don't get to speak to her ," Jack snarled. His teeth snapped together with an audible click as he threw his arm out in front of me, not quite ready to give up. Felix rolled his eyes.

"Must we really do this the hard way?" He asked, boredom evident in his tone.

"Yes."

Felix tilted his head and his gaze flicked to me. I could see a hint of amusement in his expression.

"Tell me, lassie. Have you kissed him yet?" He chuckled. Then, abruptly, his expression darkened. "Or is he just that stupid? "

"Who says I did anything?" I replied evenly. Felix huffed, rolling his eyes.

"So you have?" He turned his attention to Jack who just seemed confused. "Did you enjoy it, me boy? If you'll recall, I did wish you a very exciting first, did I not?"

"Marty, what's he talking about?" Jack asked, doubt wavering in his voice. I didn't answer him. Felix was taking a chisel to the wall I'd built in that boy's head. Not causing enough damage to send it crumbling, but planting enough doubt for it to hurt even worse when it did.

"Ah, my devious little Martina," Felix sighed, shaking his head dramatically. "You're as predictable as you are appallingly cruel."

"Guess I learned from the best," I hissed, glaring at him.

"Does that mean you'll be sensible?" He asked, raising a brow.

"You're not taking her!" My angel boy yelled. "She's mine. " A shock ran through my bones as Jack's powers ignited and his metaphysical wings spread out in front of me in a terrifying reminder of what he truly was.

Felix didn't flinch. Instead, he chuckled.

"That's cute," He said, gesturing to Jack's massive wings. Then, he straightened the cuffs of his suit and sighed. From out of his pocket he retrieved a box of matches, pulling one out and striking it. He tossed the match lazily in front of him, the reflection of its tiny flame dancing in his eyes.

The match hit the sand and flickering orange flames erupted from where it landed. The fire spread outward in a ring that encompassed the entire lighthouse, trapping me, Jack, and Isaac inside.

Jack hissed through his teeth as he watched the flames die down. They were low enough to pass easily through, so how were they supposed to contain us?

"In case ye can't tell, that there is holy fire," Felix informed, tucking the matches back in his pocket. "Any angel who finds themselves encircled by holy fire is rendered powerless, and if one tries to step through those flames, one will be instantly vaporized." He looked up again, unimpressed. "Don't get smart with me, boy . I am thousands of years your senior. I'll do with that disgusting whore whatever I damn please."

"No, you won't !"Jack yelled. His wings flared out and a blazing golden light poured from him like molten metal. The air buzzed with a divine power that burned my skin from standing so close. He was like sunlight, and it burned. I cowered away but watched in awe as Jack's veins lit beneath his skin as if gold were pumping through them instead of blood. Because that's what Jack Kline was. He was power. With a sudden ferocity, the flames leaped up, roaring around his body in an effort to keep him trapped inside. But Jack did the impossible and stepped beyond the ring with a cry of effort.

Felix did not cower away as his underlings did; he merely tilted his head with slight interest.

"How intriguing," He mused, folding his hands in front of him. "Tell me, lad. How did you manage that?"

Jack glared at Felix, his chest heaving, for I could tell that act had caused him pain.

"I'm not an angel."

Jack raised his hand, poised to snap the monsters all into dust.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Felix half-heartedly warned.

"Why not?" The Nephilim ground out.

The vampire smiled coolly. "Because these fine specimens here are not my only hostages." Of course, he had more. He was always prepared.

"Where are the others?" Jack demanded, eyes flaring.

"They're safe and sound, I assure ye. Unless, of course, you try to do somethin' stupid, such as kill me. If that's the case, and I do hope it's not, then my people have orders to do some rather unsavory things to a room full of children." Felix raised a brow, daring Jack to make a move against him.

"I can save them," Jack said, confident.

"Please! Ye don't even know where they are!" He scoffed. "Do what ye must, Jack Kline. But I really do fear for the children." Jack gritted his teeth but said nothing. He knew he was beaten. "That's better." Felix turned his attention to me. "Give up this pitiful act of yours, Martina. Come on out. You know this is checkmate."

I stepped away from Jack and stood tall, allowing the thing that had made me to see the steel in my eyes. I passed Jack and planted myself in front of Felix.

"This isn't checkmate, Monroe. This is merely check. I'll be damned before I walk into something with no way out, you know that better than anyone." My voice was calm and cool and I let it chill him. It was my real voice, not that other one I always used to put people at ease. My real voice was the one that makes people do what I want.

The corner of Felix's mouth twitched up. "Oh, yes. I know." He leaned down, his face merely an inch away from mine. "I'm looking forward to it."

"So, where's the car?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Right this way, m'dear." He gestured towards the dirt road a ways away and started toward it. I began to follow but Jack's voice made me stop.

"You're a monster," He spat, shaking with rage. His pained expression had morphed into one of hatred and his glowing golden eyes fixed on Felix.

Felix twisted around, mildly amused more than anything.

"Empathy, humanity, and morality make you weak, boy. Alas, weakness is a bitch , isn't it?" He smirked, basking in the pain he caused.

"I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!" Jack screamed. His power flared with his anger but there was nothing he could do. The absolute helplessness and hopelessness of his situation finally dawned on him. He never could stand feeling helpless.

"Hold on, I'm confused. Is that not what you do ?" Felix jeered, lifting a brow. Jack froze, his eyes going wide and puppy-like as the vampire's words hit him in the heart. His rage and power dimmed.

"W-What?" Poor thing. His voice sounded so small. He had never been made for this.

"You're the Winchester's attack dog, are ye' not?" Felix clarified. "Playing judge, jury, and executioner for anything you deem a monster."

"You are a monster," Jack scowled, clenching his fists.

"Oh, I know that!" Felix laughed. "But I like to think I've done quite a bit to earn me that title. There are, however, six quite innocent and quite human patients in critical condition at a Manhattan hospital. Six patients, who you put there. Those weren't monsters now, were they?"

Jack's face paled. Sam and Dean had said everyone was fine. Sam and Dean had lied. "H-How did- How did you-"

"That was some stunt you pulled in Times Square, boy," He mused. "Did you really think I wouldn't know about it?"

"Th-that w-was... I-it wasn't... I didn't mean to I-" Jack shook his head in denial. "It was an accident!"

"Why, of course it was!" Felix laughed. "You've not a malicious heart nor the disposition to take an innocent life. Dear boy, you are but a loaded gun for the Winchesters aim at anything they don't like."

Jack shook his head. "T-that's not true! I kill things that are evil because they hurt people." His words sounded hollow like they were something practiced. Like something that had been pounded into him.

"Do ye now? Because as I recall, you killed your own mother and ye' don't even know why. Sad, that." Felix smiled. "You kill because you were bred to; it's your purpose. It's almost cute, the son of the devil thinking he's a hero."

"I am ! I'm a hunter!" Jack insisted.

"You are not a hero," Felix sneered, shaking his head. "You are a murderer, Jack Kline. What else could ya be?" The Scottish man turned on his heel, not caring much to hear what the Nephilim had to say.

"Y-you're wrong. You're wrong about me!" That was all Jack could force out. He tried so hard to keep the tears at bay. I shook my head and turned away from him to follow my creator. "M-Marty?" Jack called out from behind me, his voice laced with desperation and confusion.

I stopped.

In that moment, I finally stripped away the final pieces of the human girl I'd made for him. The girl I'd designed for him to love. Jack would never see her again. That girl was gone now. And good riddance to her; I hoped she'd never come back.

Because she was weak.

And I was not.

Because she was human.

And I was a monster.

Because she was kind.

And I was cruel.

Because she was innocent.

And I was insane.

Because she was honest and grateful.

And I was a deceitful manipulator.

Because she was the blissful mirage.

And I was the horrid reality.

Because she was perfect.

And I never could be.

Because Jack Kline loved that sweet girl.

But that girl wasn't ME.

She never had been.

Of course, I still loved him which only made this harder. But I supposed that in a few hours that would be of no consequence. He wouldn't care. And that fact hurt like a needle to the heart, but pain only brings power to those with nothing left to lose. So, I threw my head back and I laughed as I embraced that pain, just as I did for every other cut and bruise I had ever received. That needle was one in a million and all that pain was what made me real. So, I sighed and turned back to where my angel boy stood, staring at me like some lost puppy.

"I'm sorry, Jack," I said sweetly, "Thanks for getting me this far, I don't think I could have done it without you. Unfortunately, this is something I have to do on my own. This is my last page and nobody can write it for me."

"You can't go," He said, shaking his head. There were tears in his eyes but none in mine. I smiled at him and that was the first he'd seen from me that was real, because, for the first time, Jack was talking to me.

"Why are you worried, Jack?" I was surprised at how smooth and pleasing my own voice sounded, now that I took notice. My real voice was why I was dangerous; when I used it I could make anyone do anything. But there was a reason I had been masking it for so long. It was what had gotten me into this in the first place. "I know you'll come to save me."

"What if I'm too late?" He asked, his voice breaking.

"Then I'll be there waiting for you," I answered.

"You'll die," Jack whispered. I laughed lightly, shaking my head.

"I'm not going to die today, Jack."

"You don't know that!"

"I've known for longer than you think," I said. I watched his teary, desperate expression and copied it to my memory as best as I could. It was the last time he'd look at me that way. At least for a while. "Just do me one last favor?"

"Anything," Jack promised.

"There's a girl you haven't met yet, try not to hate her when you do." I smiled and Jack nodded, trying his best to stay strong.

Then I left him there.

Alone in the sand, he watched a stranger he thought he loved going to what he thought was her death and vowed to save her from it.

Was it wrong for me to deceive him?

Did I care if it was?

***

Sam paced back and forth along the length of the lighthouse as he waited for Dean and Castiel to return. Every few minutes or so he would check his watch anxiously and run a hand through his hair, muttering something unintelligible under his breath before he resumed his pacing.

But Jack wasn't paying attention to that. He was busy staring at his hands. There were too many thoughts racing through his head for him to focus on any one of them. It had all happened so fast and there was nothing he could have done, but it didn't feel that way. Jack felt responsible. Martina was going to die because of him. It was his fault.

It was always his fault.

The door of the Lighthouse burst open, revealing Dean and Cas standing there in the driving rain that had come on before anyone had time to notice. Dean threw himself inside and Cas trailed after him, taking the time to close the lighthouse door while Dean shook the rain off like an oversized dog.

"What took you so long?" Sam was immediately questioning. "Where were you?"

"Gettin' information," Dean smirked. "It took a while, but one of the bloodsuckers squealed. What happened here, Jack?"

"I kissed Martina," Jack blurted out.

"What?" Sam, Dean, and Cas asked in unison, sharing the same disbelieving expression.

Jack hadn't meant to say it but it just sort of came out. It probably wasn't his fault, though. Jack simply couldn't stop thinking about every detail of his time with the girl in the lighthouse. He wanted to focus on what had happened after, but his brain simply wouldn't cooperate.

"I, um... I kissed Martina..." He repeated, somewhat nervously. "And I think I liked it..."

Had he liked it? Jack thought so; he was pretty sure. But something about it felt off.

Why had he kissed her in the first place? What had compelled him to do that? Jack didn't know.

His memories of the kiss were strange. He remembered clearly the emotions he'd felt, and the intensity of them. Yet, for some reason, Jack couldn't seem to recall where those feelings had come from. He had wanted to kiss Martina, but not like that... Or... maybe he had? It felt to Jack as if the decisions he'd made weren't his own. He couldn't even remember making any decisions, really. All he remembered was those feelings and acting on them. Something about that seemed off to him but Jack wasn't sure. He supposed it wasn't that out of the ordinary for him to behave impulsively. On the contrary, he tended to do that quite a lot. So, what was bothering him?

"Wait..." Dean paled, "You and Marty... You- You two didn't, like... do it in a lighthouse, right?"

Jack tilted his head, brows furrowing. "Do what?"

"C-Cas?" Dean's face whitened another shade as he turned to the seraph. "Please tell me your son didn't-" Castiel gave a long-suffering sigh.

"No, Dean. I really don't think they did anything," He said, rolling his eyes.

"Not everyone is like you," Sam added. Dean waved him off.

"Yeah, okay, but why am I the only one gettin' weirded out by this?" He exclaimed.

"Because we have bigger problems, Dean!" Sam pointed out, exasperated. Sam seemed anxious and Jack wondered what he wanted to tell them.

"Well, I think this is pretty big!" Dean insisted, turning to Jack. "Dude, what the hell?"

"I don't understand what you mean. Martina and I kissed." Jack said simply.

"Dean, seriously. I-" Sam tried. Dean held up a hand, sighing.

Dean sighed. "Jack... Y-You don't do that."

"Dean! Listen-"

"Not now, Sam!" Dean cut him off again.

"Why not? Jack asked, frowning.

"Look, ya just- Ya gotta wait a little while, man!" Dean said, running a hand over his face. "I mean, Marty's like, twelve!" He insisted. By then, Sam had decided he'd had it.

"No, Dean! She's really not!" The younger Winchester yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

"What?" Dean was shocked by his brother's sudden outburst. Sam took a deep breath to calm himself now that he had everyone's attention.

"Martina's not as young as we think she is. I-I think she's older, m-much older." Sam said, stress leaking into his tone.

"What are you saying, Sam?" Cas asked.

"I'm saying we've been played."

***

The car ride was smooth and it was the first time I'd been in a limo, so naturally, I took the comforts offered me. I stretched out across the seat, lounging as I stared out the tinted window. I didn't worry about Felix sitting directly across from me. I knew he didn't want to kill me. Not yet anyway.

"I'm curious, how did you manage to fool them?" He asked, watching me with a comfortable expression.

I shrugged. "Long story, lots of boring details."

"Indulge me," He insisted.

"Why should I?" I asked. He shrugged, mimicking me.

"I'm simply curious."

I hummed. "I bet you are."

He smirked. "Well, what can I say? It's just my nature." I nodded vaguely, continuing to stare out the window. We both knew how this would end. There was no real reason not to tell him.

"Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel..." I said their names thoughtfully, allowing the corner of my lips to twitch up into a sly smile. "They seem so simple at first glance. You have the poor unfortunate soul who lost so much yet kept his kindness, the perfect killer who spent his whole life at war, and the fallen angel who found a home. But if that was all there was then I never would have fooled them. However, for men who claim to be so faithless, there's so much they want to believe in."

"Whot do ye mean?" Felix asked, tilting his head. I smirked lazily. T

"I'll start with Sam. Sam is kind because he's damaged, but the last thing he is is a fool. When someone's good at unraveling lies, the last thing you do is give them a really big one to unravel. If you do that, then they'll cut right through and they'll figure you out easily. So, what do you do? You give them distractions. Hide puzzles within puzzles and Sam will stop to solve each one because he loves it. But how do you get him to ignore the big picture?" I stopped and grinned.

"It's easy really. All I had to do was appeal to his hate. Sam Winchester is so extraordinarily full of such raw and powerful hate, that if you simply aim it at a conceivable target, he can ignore anything else. And of course, with his hate blinding him to the truth, Sam can't figure out the lie. All one has to do to fool Sam is give him a puzzle to solve and something to hate.

"So, I made him hate you."

***

"How?" Castiel asked, tilting his head.

"It's Marty. We can't trust her," Sam said. Dean scoffed

"After all that lecturing earlier? Why the hell not?" He demanded. Sam took a nervous breath.

"Because she's been lying to us, Dean," He said. "I-I think she's been lying to us this whole time."

Dean's jaw clenched and he crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you talking about, Sam?" His voice was tight and guarded.

"I talked to Felix after I saved the little girl," Sam admitted.

"You just stood there and talked to that son of a bitch! He's a sick, messed up, psychopath! Sam, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Dean yelled. Sam held out his hands in a peacemaking gesture.

"I know w-what he is, Dean. A-and, believe me, I thought the same things you are now and I swear it was over the phone a-and all he did w-was tell me things. But-" Sam hissed through his teeth and tugged at his hair, seemingly at war with himself.

"But what, Sam?"

"I don't know. He- he just-"

"You don't know?!" Dean interrupted accusingly.

"H-He said things, alright! Felix told me things. Things about Marty. A-and they- they made - They just made so much sense! And I hate him just as much as you do and I don't wanna believe him but-" Sam's voice faltered and he shook his head seeming lost.

"What did he tell you?" Castiel pressed, gentle but still firm.

"He told me Martina killed his wife."

***

"Now, Dean? Dean's a little harder," I said as the driver made a sharp left-hand turn. "Dean's not just a hardened killer, though that's mostly what he wants people to see. He wants people to see the machine without a heart so no one will see how horrifically broken he really is." Thinking of what Dean was really like made me laugh and I flicked my gaze at Felix. "And believe me when I say that there's nothing that could fix him by now."

"But there's so much more to him than the killer and the brokenness. Dean's the righteous man who's never known a day away from war. There are so many things he wants so desperately. Dean dreams of walking peacefully along a beach yet he's never even been to one. For all he's never had Dean tries to give it to others. For all the blood and death he's seen he's remarkably full of love. Love is the key, really. Dean Winchester loves more powerfully than anyone I've ever met. If Dean loves someone he'll do anything for them.

"He sees my age and sees in me the child he never was. He sees me afraid and wants to provide me the protection no one gave him. He sees me flinch when someone yells and wants to offer me the security he never knew. He sees an orphan and wants to give me the parental love he never had. All one has to do to fool Dean Winchester is give him a child to love.

"So, I made him love me."

***

"And you believed him?" Dean scoffed. "Marty is a kid, Sam! She's a kid! Just a scared kid who needs our protection! Marty never could have done something like that."

"Why not?" Cas spoke up. All eyes snapped to the angel.

"BECAUSE SHE'S A KID!" Dean roared. Jack flinched away from him, he'd always hated when Dean yelled. It scared him. Though, this time Dean sounded less angry and more desperate. As if there was something he didn't want to believe. As if yelling the words would make them true.

"T-that's what I thought too. But what if we're wrong?" Sam asked.

"How could we be wrong?" Dean demanded.

"What if Marty's not a kid?" Sam carefully spoke, "What if she's not human?"

Dean shook his head. "No," He said, "No, you're wrong. I know what you're thinkin' and you're wrong." Jack shook his head too. There was no way... was there? Something itched at the back of his mind. He didn't know what it was. Did he want to?

"Dean, I know this is hard to accept, but we need to think this through," Sam said, holding his hands out beseechingly.

"We don't have time for that!" Jack spoke up. "Felix is going to kill Marty! We can't just let her die!"

Sam held up a hand. "He's not gonna kill her, not for a while. We have time."

"No, you don't get it! I promised I'd save her!" Jack said.

"Exactly!" Sam pointed out. "Jack, that's exactly what she wants! She's been planning this the whole time."

"What do you mean 'the whole time'?" Dean inquired, crossing his arms.

"Think back to the beginning, w-when we first met Marty," Sam said, walking them through it. "Why were we in Copper Harbor?"

"For a ghost hunt," Jack answered, impatience leaking through his tone.

"You're right, but there was another case there. What was it?"

"Blood was being stolen from the hospital..." Cas said slowly as if remembering.

"Exactly! Exactly." Sam took a breath. "Now, that ghost in the viral video, who was it? Was it whoever's bones we burned?"

"No, it was..." Jack made the connection. Why hadn't he noticed that before? "It was Isaac."

"Okay, so that means..." He trailed off.

"That Marty was lying about the hunt and the bones," Cas finished.

"Right, now why would she do that?"

"I dunno, professor. Maybe so we wouldn't torch her brother?" Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam pursed his lips, sighing. "Well, yes, b-but no! This isn't about Isaac, this is about Marty. What would she have been hiding?"

"The blood theft," Cas said decisively. Dean shook his head.

"That's a coincidence. Marty can't be - She can't-" He couldn't even say it. He could hardly think it. "Marty can't be a vampire."

***

"Castiel was harder," I continued. "Aside from the fact that he's a multi-billion-year-old cosmic being, Castiel also lacks a soul. That made tapping into his emotions significantly more difficult, but once I did that it was quite clear that I could never fool him. At least, not directly. He's intelligent, not easily deceived, and he always tries to do what he thinks is best. Whatever that course of action might be, more often than not, it hasn't been the right one.

"Castiel is, primarily, a screw-up. There's a lot of history and even more drama involving his fellow angels and the Winchesters, and he has consistently attempted to fight for both sides of the war between them. His torn loyalties have caused a great many more problems than they've fixed and it seems as though any attempt to fix one of said problems breeds yet more chaos. Castiel is rebellious. He can never seem to do what he's supposed to. So, naturally, that makes him the most dangerous piece on the board.

"When Castiel sets his mind on something, there isn't much that can sway him. His actions have proven, repeatedly I might add, that he is even willing to go behind the backs of the Winchesters if he believes it's for the greater good. But his destructive pattern stops only for the one person he's never betrayed. Thus, to fool Castiel one has to fool his son.

"So, I got my hands on Jack."

***

"Why not?" Cas snapped.

"'Cause she just can't!" Dean's voice broke.

"She single-handedly killed five vampires, Dean! Remember?" Cas pressed. "There's no way a mere child her age could have done that."

Jack shook his head, refusing to believe it. "Marty can't be a vampire. Dad, she just can't be."

Castiel sighed, his eyes soft. "I know you want to believe that."

"Why shouldn't we?" Dean challenged.

"Because she killed five vampires single handedly! What part of that escapes your understanding?!" Cas repeated with frustration.

"We don't know what happened in there!" Dean persisted.

"Exactly! WE DON'T KNOW!" Cas yelled.

"THEN WE CAN'T ACCUSE, CAN WE?" Dean shouted back. Jack flinched again and Cas took notice, forcibly relaxing his posture in hopes of reassuring his son.

Sam groaned. "Look at the facts, Dean. The research!"

"Damn the research, Sammy! This is Marty! We know her!"

"We know she's an empath!" Sam spat. "She's been playing with all our emotions, we know that! We need to look at this objectively and, as hard as that might be, it means looking at the facts!"

"What about the facts?" Dean asked reluctantly.

"Think about it," The younger brother said. "W-we did the research, remember? Remember how none of it lined up?"

"Yeah, because Felix messed with it!" Dean tried.

"Not all of it," Sam pointed out, "Marty said she was nine when she died, but her youngest brother was ten. Remember that? How could she have been younger than her youngest sibling?"

"Sam, that-"

"Because she wasn't, Dean," He hissed, "She wasn't nine. Marty was sixteen."

"I-I remember..." Dean froze, his eyes flicking up to meet his brother. "Sammy..." He said, his voice tense and shaking, "How did I forget that?"

Dread coated Castiel's tone as he answered instead.

"I think she wanted us to."

***

"Jack is a very special boy," I said, sarcasm lacing my tone. "Although, he is the offspring of a fallen archangel, so I'd assume that 'special' comes rather naturally. Thanks for that clue, by the way. It would have taken me much longer to figure him out if it wasn't for that itty bitty little detail."

"You would have gotten it regardless." Felix shrugged.

"Of course I would've!" I snorted, shaking my head. "I didn't think my abilities were of any question."

"They weren't," Felix replied. "I know what you're capable of, lassie."

I smirked devilishly. "You should." Felix's hand clenched into a fist and he sent me a tight smile.

"Indeed." He forced the word through his teeth. "Which is why I'm surprised you enlisted to lie to that boy so completely. Doesn't that violate whatever moral code of Donoghue's it is that you've adopted?" I nodded and shrugged with a sigh.

"You're right, it does. Jack is in many senses young and vulnerable and on top of that, he's dreadfully naïve. He could never deserve what I did to him." I huffed out a humorless laugh as my face twisted into a sneer. "But you do. So I made an exception."

Felix shook his head as if disappointed. "Now, now, Martina. When one has a goal, one does not make exceptions. Lest they desire to fail, of course. Only hypocrites make exceptions. Did I teach you nothing?"

"I'm not like you," I spat.

"Is that what it looks like from where you sit?" He mused quietly. I flashed him a barred toothed grin and continued.

"There's only one that Jack Kline truly wants in this world. He wants to be good - to prove to himself and those around him that despite his parentage, he can be good. He's been told that there's something wrong with him, so he wants to find a way to somehow purge it. But he can't because there's nothing wrong and there never was. Yet, he can't believe that. So it leaves him with an insatiable desire to please.

"It's pathetic, really. He seeks validation in everything. He thinks he has to be useful to be loved. Otherwise, he's just a burden, one that nobody wanted. Jack doesn't want to believe that; he wants to be told that isn't true. Jack Kline may be powerful but he's also soft - moldable if you will. See, he's so haplessly needy that it's honestly sickening. He'll do anything for you to tell him what he wants to hear. And he'll do anything to keep hearing it.

"Jack is a combination of his three guardians. He's desperate. Like Dean, he doesn't want to see what's right in front of him. But he's not stupid. I had to erase his memory more than once. Then, like Sam, I simply distracted him and, much like Castiel, I had to keep him in line by appealing to that insatiable need of his. To fool Jack Kline one has to give him someone to save.

"He thinks he's saving me." I smiled fondly when I'd finished, glancing up at Felix with a challenge in my gaze.

"Well, we both know that's impossible," He said, eyeing me with a smirk, "There's nothing left in that cold shell of yours worth saving." I grinned, showing him the insane thing he'd created.

"You're damn right."

***

Then, like a memory, there were words running through Jack's head. Words and voices, but he didn't remember hearing them.

'You said you were nine then! But y-you - you weren't!' That was his voice in his ears. But Jack couldn't remember saying those words. 'You haven't aged a day... Five years and you haven't aged a day.'

'I aged about a month, actually.'

The other voice was Marty. The words buzzed like static, making his headache. Jack shook his head. It was like Deja Vue but entirely more vivid. Sam, Dean, and Cas kept talking. It was hard to hear them through the ringing in his ears.

"Cas, are you saying she can wipe memories?" Dean asked.

"I'm not sure," Castiel replied, shaking his head. "But she can certainly suppress them."

"But it-it must only work when she's around b-because when she's gone - I know for me - When Marty's not around I-I start to remember," Sam said.

The ringing in Jack's ears intensified, making him groan and grasp at his head. He clamped his hands over his ears but the ringing only grew louder. It was like angel radio, but instead of being surrounded by fire, Jack felt like he was burning from the inside out.

"Jack?" Cas was calling his name. "What's going on?"

"I-I don't- I-" Jack gasped, the pain growing stronger. "It hurts! Dad, please make it stop!"

"Jack? JACK!"

He stumbled into Cas's arms as another blurred memory hit him like a train.

'I'm gonna need you to forget that,' Marty's voice whispered in his head. She sounded so gentle, so inviting. She sounded like a spider.

'I wish I could,' His own voice shook as Jack listened to himself say words he couldn't remember speaking. It felt like a memory that didn't belong to him.

There was more to it this time. There was a picture frame, but the picture inside was out of focus. There was an image. It was Martina. She had fangs. And there was something else too. Jack could feel it like a phantom pain. It was terror. The paralyzing kind. The feeling of being trapped. Jack felt the shadow of limbs and he couldn't move. He was trapped. Jack couldn't get out. He was trapped like a fly in a web. Marty was the spider. He couldn't get away. He couldn't get away from her.

She wouldn't let him.

'I can make you forget,' She was going to hurt him. ' Take us back to the night we met. '

'What do you mean?' His voice asked cautiously. He was scared. He was so scared. He couldn't get out.

'I'm going to talk to you, and then you're going to forget, and everything will be back to the way it was.'

'You're a monster.' He'd said

The ringing in Jack's ears faded and he bolted upright, gasping and shaking as panic set in. He needed to tell Sam, Dean, and Castiel what he'd remembered but he couldn't seem to find the words.

"S-She lied." That was all he could force out.

"Jack, what happened? Are you okay?" Castiel worried, checking over him. Jack just shook his head.

"She did something to me," He choked out, shaking. "I don't know. I can't remember. Why can't I remember? She did something to me!" He felt sick. There was something wrong with him.

No.

There was something wrong with Marty.

She was sick.

"What? What did she do?" Dean demanded, eyes wide.

"She-She made me forget. I knew. I-I knew and she made me forget!"

"Forget what?" Sam asked.

"I figured her out a-and she made me forget but I remembered." Jack stopped and only then did he realize he was crying. "She's one of them."

Because she had betrayed him. Marty had betrayed all of them. Jack didn't even know what to believe anymore. Had any of it been real? Or was it all some twisted lie?

"I'm sorry, Jack," Cas offered quietly.

"You were right, Sam," Jack whispered. He couldn't stop his voice from shattering. "Martina is a monster. A-And she lied."

There was silence for a moment. Then, Dean spoke up. Because someone had to take the lead and it was always him. It wasn't fair, but it was always him.

"We gotta go," He said, struggling to make his voice sound cold and firm. But he'd lost a daughter today.

"W-Where?" Sam asked.

"Me and Cas know where Felix is taking Marty. That kid's got some answering to do," Dean answered, his green eyes darkening with his tone. Castiel stood, helping Jack climb to his feet.

"Martina is dangerous, Dean. Are you sure you're willing to do what may be necessary?" Cas asked, watching Dean with a somber expression.

"It's not gonna come to that," Dean said.

"And if it does?"

"I will." Jack's voice was quiet but it caught the adult's attention.

"Jack, are you- Are you really sure?" Cas asked gently. Jack shook his head.

"I don't want to kill Martina. But you're right, she is dangerous." His voice faltered. "I can't let her hurt anybody else."

***

Felix's limo pulled into the garage of what was easily a multi-million dollar home. It was four stories and it reminded me of a castle with its dull grey stone and tall windows. The interior of the garage was constructed simply of polished cement and was entirely empty aside from the car now parked within it. I sent Felix a smirk and climbed from the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind me. The car was surrounded. Twenty or so of Felix's vamps stood guard but I knew they were more for display than anything else. Some of them I recognized, some I didn't.

"And here I thought this little girl's night was just gonna be you and me," I huffed dramatically upon seeing them, "You had me feeling all special."

"Sorry to disappoint, Lassie," Felix drawled. "But don't worry, I invited some of your friends too. Well, just one to be exact."

I shot him a curious glance but shrugged before sauntering my way past Felix's lackeys like I owned the place. I supposed I had, but that was so long ago. Were his minions really still so afraid of me? I surveyed one of the vamps as I passed him, taking notice of the bead of sweat dripping down his neck. He was clearly terrified.

So, they remembered who their queen was. Good.

Spinning on my toe like a ballerina, I let a bubbling laugh escape my throat. All of Felix's soldiers turned to face me, watching with careful eyes.

"Hello, Lovelies!" I called, grinning. A few of them shifted nervously. "Just thought you all should know, both your beloved Prince and Princess are dead! I killed them!" Murmurs spread around the empty garage, echoing off the polished grey walls. "That's right! Boyd's head I ripped off with a tractor, though I'm sure your leader was glad to finally be rid of his bastard son." I glanced at Felix who stood there stoically and winked. "I knew about that, by the way. As for Elwyn, I had the Devil's son snap her into dust like Peter Parker in Infinity War. 'Cept she ain't comin' back!" I giggled in reaction to the horrified expressions of Felix's soldiers and send the man himself a smirk before whipping around again.

"Ye know, Martina?" His voice made me pause though I kept my back to him. "I look at you and I don't see anyone looking back..." He trailed off, his tone thoughtful. "Where is that soul you used to have?"

"Just like I told your daughter, I lost it in the woods in favor of something else. You wanted me to learn something and I learned it!" I eyed him over my shoulder. "You never should have sent me there."

"I know that now." Felix sounded almost solemn. "Whatever Sampson brought back with him wasn't the girl I tossed in, was it?"

I shrugged. "That's where you're wrong. It's still me. Like I said, I just learned something over there is all."

"And what did you learn?" He wondered.

"That you were wrong."

"It doesn't seem I was," He said. I chuckled softly.

"You said I was made to be a queen. You were wrong."

"Aye?"

"I'm not a queen, Monroe." I turned to face him. "I'm a damn Empress." I grinned. "And, honey, you should see me in your crown."

I didn't bother to watch his expression. I just turned and walked.

Pushing my way through the garage door, I skipped down a long, dark hallway decorated with dark wooden pieces that I was sure had cost more money than they were worth. I smirked upon hearing Felix's footsteps trailing behind me. Whirling around and walking backward, I grinned at my former torturer.

"Got anything you didn't wanna say in front of your minions?" I taunted.

"I do, actually." He huffed a laugh that held no humor. "For the record, I'm sorry."

My expression soured. "No you're not."

"I am, truly." He placed his hand over his heart in a gesture of sincerity. "I apologize for my greed and my stupidity. I unleashed you upon this world; that will be my greatest regret, I think. I made you into a plague and I lost control over you."

"You never controlled me," I hissed.

"And I the second I realized that I should have put you down," Felix said. "I just hope the Winchester's don't make the same mistake."

I shook my head. "That's the think, Felix. They will."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not." He shrugged.

"I guess I'll find out, won't I? So! Where's this friend of mine?" I asked, rubbing my hands together.

"Two doors down on your right," Felix answered. I glanced at the door he was referring to then back to him.

"Ooh, goodie. Before I open it, why do I get a present?"

Felix shrugged. "Call it a joke."

I nodded. "Dope."

Then I skipped over to the dark wooden door and grasped the handle. It wasn't locked, of course, so I pulled it open. I didn't look for traps. I knew Felix would never stoop that low. The room was pitch black and there were no windows, but I found the light switch easily enough. Bright fluorescent bulbs flicked on and washed the space with light.

Sitting on a wooden chair in the middle of the room, was a rather muscular man. His arms and legs were tied to the chair and his head was tilted down. I may not have been able to see his face, but I would have recognized that old, grungy cap almost anywhere. I crossed the space between us and tapped him on the shoulder. The man inclined his head, squinting against the light, but when he caught a glance of my face, his usually bright eyes filled with terror.

I had forgotten how fun it was to instill that level of fear. I smirked.

"Hey there, Benny! I haven't seen you since the Hunger Games!"

~We'll never get free Lamb to the slaughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water? The price of your greed Is your son and your daughter What you gon' do When there's blood in the water?

Beg me for mercy Admit you were toxic You poisoned me just for Another dollar in your pocket Now I am the violence I am the sickness Won't accept your silence Beg me for forgiveness~

Lyrics from: Blood In The Water by grandson

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calif0rnia-lovers · 4 years

Text

safe haven.

A/N: Don’t mind me, just giving J a normal high school romance--one where his family is not involved. Set in S1 of Animal Kingdom. First time writing for this guy, so let me know what you think

Pairing: Josh Cody x Black!OC

Rating: 💙 A soft piece with the youngest Cody, and the girl he tries to keep secret from his new found family.

Request: Convincing J to study bc he's too caught up in the family business to worry about midterms

Words: 3.3k

Josh tightens his grip, crushing the letter in his hand. Left inside the unaddressed envelope, the letter remains unread. There is no point in reading it. J got the gist of the letter from the conversation with the counselor. He discards the crumpled mess in a nearby trash can.

The end of the school week produces a flood of excited teenagers emptying into the parking lot.

J's mind is on the previously discarded letter.

It was a letter of truancy, addressed to his grandmother, his current guardian. It has been months since the passing of J's mother. The school's patience has spread thin. His grades have not dropped, but his attendance has.

His mind is on the letter when he fishes his keys out of his front pocket. His pace slows before he comes to a complete stop a few feet short of his truck. The truck is where he left it, but there's a new addition.

It now has a powder blue backpack on the hood. Seated beside the backpack is the prettiest girl in school.

Cori Edwards has a familiar pair of black shades concealing her dark brown eyes -- now J remembers where he left them. She has abandoned the denim jacket he caught a glimpse of her in earlier. A knowing smile spreads across her face as she watches his eyes linger on the sundress she wears. As his eyes return to hers, J can't deny the smile on his lips.

The last time he saw Cori, for longer than the brief seconds they pass in the halls, was a month ago. This year, it appeared fate wanted to test the two. They had the same classes, the same teachers, but never at the same time. A few months ago, this meant they spent all of their free time stealing kisses at lunch and in the halls. They would then make up for lost time as soon as the school bell rang.

But things have changed too much.

J's mother didn't keep track of his movements. His grandmother and uncles, J came to learn, analyze his actions. Keeping secrets has become second nature to him since moving into the Cody House. The one secret he swore he'd never reveal was Cori. He hasn't introduced her to Smurf or his uncles. He hasn't shared much about how his life has changed, upon his moving into their house, with Cori.

After so many vague responses, Cori understood it was better not to ask questions. She didn't want to spend her limited time arguing with J. Only, in the last month their limited face time has dwindled. Fizzed out to nothing.

A few texts here. A few long spread out phone calls there.

It was after one of those texts that their last reunion had taken place.

J might have been slightly drunk -- sober enough to drive, and park his truck a block from Cori's parent’s house. He had climbed through her bedroom window. The act itself was not graceful. His tumble through the window at three am woke her dad. Her dad came in to find Cori “still sleeping,” the toppled over AP Calculus and Physics books on the floor enough incentive for him to return to bed.

Once the coast was clear, J managed to strip before climbing into bed alongside her. All she received was a quick kiss before his arm was around her. He was out before his head hit the pillow. He left Cori with no time to inquire about his reasoning behind showing up drunk. Or about the black eye and busted lip. He had to sneak out in the morning before her parents got up.

Rumor has it J’s been showing up to school, even if Cori's rarely seen him there. He shows up for three days, almost like clockwork. Technically, it is enough to stop the school from legally reporting him for truancy. Until the counselor concluded it was time J stopped playing that game--which brings us to J's current situation.

He's standing in the parking lot, keys in hand, staring at his girlfriend -- at least he thinks she's still his girlfriend. Is it weird if he leads with that question?

As he stands before her, the only thought in his mind is how much he's missed her smile.

Jingling the keys in his hand, J regards the innocent smile on Cori's lips before shaking his head.

“You got a tracker on me, I don’t know about, Edwards?”

“Nope. It’s just a Cody sighting is kind of a big deal in these halls,” Cori sighs lightly as her eyes pass over the crowded parking lot. “Word gets around pretty fast when you actually show up.”

Cori’s words don't receive a verbal response. Her eyes are covered, but J knows what look lies inside them. The look causes his eyes to avoid hers. His hand rubs against the back of his neck, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

"Haven’t seen you around lately, Josh." She continues, the warmth of her fingers against his chin lifting J's gaze. Cori raises her sunglasses, her eyes passing over his face. "Nice to know your black eyes is gone."

"Yeah--sorry about that night." The smile on his lips is sheepish as he watches her study his face. He mentally kicks himself for the following line--he knows it's getting old. He says it anyway. "I had some family stuff-"

"That left you drunk with a black eye and busted lip?"

J takes in her raised brow, his shoulders sink.

What can he say?

I got my ass kicked after I was caught in the act of stealing some guy's car. Granted, my uncle saved my ass, but not before I got a black eye and busted lip?

No. He can't say that.

If he does, then he would have to explain why he was stealing a car in the first place. And that is a rabbit hole J isn't willing to jump down--not with her.

The passing of her fingers through his hair causes J to speak up.

"Sorry. I know you're tired of bullshit excuses." He shakes his head.

"I'm used to it," Cori sighs, her hands falling to her lap.

Before he can stop himself, J's hands are on her thighs pulling her closer. His lips are on hers.

"I'm sorry. You look nice," he smiles as his lips press a second kiss against hers.

"Hmm?"

"I’m serious," he chuckles as his hand finds her waist.

"Trust me, I know it’s true," she laughs. "I’m just trying to figure out why it’s taken you so long to say it."

"I’ve been busy," he begins. "With-"

"Family stuff," Cori nods, her hand waving to dismiss the subject. "I know, but that's not what I tracked you down for. I have so graciously blessed you with my presence because you owe me two things."

"What are they?" J's brow arches, a soft smile on his lips.

Cori drops her hand for his cheek. J's eyes remain on her as she leans back, weight resting against her palms.

"I need a ride home," she lightly pats the hood of the car. "And I need a study buddy."

J lets off a light scoff at the latter.

If there is one undisputed fact, it is Cori's academic ranking. She is top of their class. Between the two, J needs a study buddy to catch up to her perfect GPA.

"Okay. When?"

"Tonight, genius," her eyes roll as she pushes against his shoulder. "Josh, please don’t tell me you forgot we have midterms Monday."

J's eyes briefly drift shut.

"Shit--I have a family thing tonight."

"When?” Cori smiles as his eyes pass over the parking lot. The corners of J's lips turn up into a smile before his gaze returns to hers. “I’m just saying...it’s technically not nighttime yet…and being as you haven't seen me in ten thousand years...the least you can do is study with me...”

"What’s it gonna take for me to get out of this?"

Cori pauses to think.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Shaking her head, Cori smiles as her hands find his shoulders. "There is absolutely nothing that you can give me for me to drop this."

"Damn."

"Unless,” Cori bites back her smile as her playful eyes meet his. “You want to tell me how much you missed me.”

“If that’s it,” J sighs, his lips stopping short of hers, “You might want to go ahead and find another ride home--”

“Shut up,” she giggles as his hands find her waist.

Helping her down, J steals a kiss before following Cori to the passenger side of his truck.

"I'm just giving you a ride home."

"Uh-huh." Turning to face him, she smiles as his lips press against hers.

She allows him a second kiss as J's arm wraps around her waist.

“To sweeten the deal,” she beams. “I’ll even let you take me out.”

"What is it?"

Cori's eyes remain on the surfers visible from the parking lot. She watches the girl who manages to ride the swell longer than the rest of the group. When she glances across the truck, she discovers J watching her.

"What do you mean?"

A low chuckle escapes J as he watches Cori busy herself with the task of finishing her milkshake.

"What's on your mind?"

Despite her asking him to stop and grab something to eat, Cori hasn't said much to J. Even if she had, he knew her well enough to grasp Cori was waiting to ask him something. Her brown eyes raise to meet his gaze before she lets out a breath.

"It's kinda stupid."

"Coming from you?" His brow arches as his fingers interlace with hers. "I doubt it."

Cori's gaze remains on their interlaced fingers as she speaks.

"It's just, the winter formal is coming up. I figured we could go together."

She glimpses up once her suggestion is met with silence. J's brow is a furrowed, a hesitant smile on his lips.

His thoughts are racing--he's praying this is the initial time she's breached the subject. That he hadn't missed any hints in his haze the past weeks.

"Seriously? You never want to go to those things."

Cori's eyes roll. J's right. In the last two years, neither of them have attended the school’s dances.

She bites her lip before opting to take another sip of her strawberry shake.

"You really wanna go?" A light shrug is what J gets in response. "If you want to go, I'll go."

"It's just--we're going to be done with school soon. We have to go to at least one--"

"And prom?"

"That's not up for debate. Your ass is taking me to prom, Joshua Cody." Cori laughs as J's lips press against her fingers.

J's smile fades as a ringtone interrupts the conversation. He releases Cori's hand before retrieving his cellphone from the truck's console.

She silently observes as he reads the name on the screen.

Baz.

She remembers the name--he is one of J's uncles--but that's where her knowledge ends. The furrow of J's brow sets in as he declines the call.

“So...this family thing," she notes, as his eyes meet hers. Before she can get the rest of her thought out, a text comes through recapturing J's attention. "It must be pretty important.”

J's shrug seems outlandish when held alongside the urgency of his uncle. In the time it took to eat, J's phone has got several notifications. Each time, he pauses long enough to silence the call and proceeds as if it never came.

“It’s just a thing with my uncles.” His mood is light as he sets the phone back down. His easiness returns as he meets her eyes. "Smurf's pretty serious about everyone being home for it."

He can notice the slight hesitance in her eyes before she offers him a smile in return.

Leaning across the car, J presses a kiss against her cheek. His lips drift to her neck.

"I'll get the tickets Monday," he mumbles as his lips retrace their steps. "Promise."

J's truck is parked engine idling. His left-hand rests against the steering wheel, his eyes on her.

Cori has removed her seatbelt. Her body is turned in the seat so that she faces J. She toys with the hem of her dress instead of moving to get out.

"It was good to see you, J."

"Yeah," J agrees. Her eyes lift to meet his, the soft smile on his lips stretching into a grin. "You too."

J opens his mouth to continue the thought, but Cori has already turned away from him. He watches as she retrieves her backpack from the back seat.

"Cori," J clears his throat. The action hinders Cori's opening of the door. Her hand hovers over the handle. "Maybe we can hang-"

"Nope.”

J blinks. His brow furrows as a silence falls over the car.

"If you want to see me again," Cori teases, her hand falling from the handle. "It will be in school."

"Why do I have a feeling you're not gonna let this go?" J's eyes roll softly as Cori leans across the car. "You’re serious?"

"Because I'm not letting this go," she smiles sweetly, ignoring the chuckle the action pulls from J. "And, I'm 'lock my window' serious, Josh. Show up if you want, and I’ll leave you outside."

The smile on Cori's lips grows as J's gaze falls from hers. His tongue passes over his lips as she leans closer.

His eyes drift shut as her giggle fills the car before Cori presses a kiss against his cheek. She leaves a second kiss before moving away. Hopping out of the truck, Cori slips her backpack onto her shoulders.

"Think about what’s important to you, Cody," she beams before shutting the door.

J picks up his phone. The screen lights up as a new text message appears.

6 missed calls. Baz

7 missed texts. Baz

1 missed text. Craig

He opens the most recent notification from Craig.

Dude. Call Baz back so he'll stop losin his shit. You know we got that thing tonight

Cori is in the process of unlocking the door when she hears the sound of his car door slamming. Looking over her shoulder, she smiles as J crosses the driveway backpack over his shoulder.

"Two hours,” he concedes. J is powerless to the tug of her hand as Cori pulls him inside. “Then I have to go. Baz is blowing up my phone.”

"Then we better get started."

J's fingers comb through his hair, the brown eyes trained on him forcing him back to reality.

Judging by the look on Cori's face, this is not the first time she has spoken. Heat rushes to his face as J's gaze reverts to the stack of notecards in his hands.

"Uh--yeah," he clears his throat as he shifts in the computer chair. "That's right."

He steals a second glance at her, the smile on Cori's lips not helping with his current situation.

"Of course it is," she winks. Her gaze returns to the review sheet. She stops to make a note alongside the term The Baroque.

The two are currently in the midst of an AP European History review.

J isn't much help, but Cori doesn't need it. Each of her responses is correct. That's good for J. He's spent the last thirty minutes distracted.

It's a good thing Cori claimed the bed, laying on her stomach as she pulled out her notebook. J took the computer chair opposite of her. If Cori had let him join her on the bed, no studying would have taken place.

It doesn't matter that a month has passed. J hasn't been able to keep his eyes off Cori Edwards since her arrival freshman year.

A smile creeps across his face as J's eyes meet Cori's for a second time.

"You need a break, Cody?" The grin on her lips widens as Cori rests her chin in her hand. "You seem distracted."

"Just thinking about how you don't need these." J lifts the cards in his hands before discarding them on the nearby desk. "You never have."

"Hmm..." Cori's eyes return to the review sheet. She pauses to add more to the notes written neatly in the margins. "True, but you do."

Pushing herself up, she passes over the review sheet. Written neatly in the top right-hand corner is J's name.

"I made this for you Tuesday night."

J studies the sheet for a moment, his fingers massaging his temple as he takes in Cori's study guide.

Shit--she's right. He does need it. He missed the review session on Tuesday. The thing about AP Euro is that it's not as straight forward as Trig. J can ace his Trig midterm in his sleep. AP Euro is a whole separate story.

"Thanks, Cori," he sighs. The grateful look in his eyes as he watches her cross the room earns him a warm smile. "You didn't have to-"

"Oh, trust me, I know." Taking his hand in her, Cori lowers herself down onto his lap. "But, I know you have a lot going on. Besides, making the sheet helped me review for the test."

"I love you. You know that?"

"As you should." Taking his face in her hands, Cori smiles as J meets her gaze. She closes the remaining distance between their lips. "I love you too."

As her lips drift to his neck, fingers slipping beneath the hem of his t-shirt, J pushes her dress up her thighs.

"I thought we were studying," he chuckles, his lips returning to hers.

"We're taking a break," she giggles. "You’re useless when you’re distracted."

When he wakes, J knows he’s overstayed. He was meant to leave by four. It’s four thirty.

The cellphone, humming on the surface of Cori’s desk, sounds through the bedroom. J doesn’t lift his head from the pillow. Instead, he watches her face scrunch in irritation as the sound gradually pulls Cori out of her sleep.

“You gotta go?” She breathes, her eyes remaining shut as she tries to fall back to sleep.

“I should,” he chuckles. His finger traces the curve of Cori's shoulder. “Your parents will probably be home soon.”

“You’re right.” A soft giggle follows as J's arm wraps around her waist, pulling her body across the bed. “You should probably go.”

Despite his words, J makes no move to leave the bed. He sinks his face into her neck. His weight presses her into the mattress as her arms wind around his neck. He stays there for almost ten minutes. His eyes closed, listening to the delicate pattern of her pulse. Neither says a word. Cori knows the time has come to let him go when J presses a soft kiss against her skin before forcing himself up.

“I have some family shit I gotta handle,” J huffs as his palms rub against his eyes. “So, um, I probably won’t be on my phone for most of the weekend.”

“Okay.”

J proceeds to redress, his body in no rush to leave, as his phone starts again.

He needs to go. Now.

J has prolonged his return to reality, and the Cody House, long enough. If he doesn’t call back shortly, Smurf might have a heart attack.

J tugs his t-shirt over his head. His eyes focus on the bedroom window. He’s shocked Smurf's car is not parked out front. It wouldn’t be the first time his grandmother has tracked him.

“I just meant--I might not be able to pick up if you call,” he crosses the room to meet Cori. The faint smile on his lips brings one to her. “You can text me.”

“Maybe,” Cori sighs as J's lips caress her cheek. “If I have time. I’ll have to check my schedule.”

She catches sight of his sparkling eyes before J’s lips are on hers. The kiss itself is soft, another step in his lingering goodbye. His lips linger against hers before pressing against hers a final time.

“Hey,” J pulls back, his fingers interlacing with hers. He gently squeezes her hand as she meets his gaze. “Thanks for today. I missed you.”

“You too.”

“I’ll text you later,” J smiles before retrieving his phone and backpack.

Main Tags: @wiccanmetallicrose @themarkblues @mariaxliliana @gemini0410 @binooo98 @the-jer-bear @abbiesthings @trhett21 @trulysuccubus @leahnicole1219 @keithseabrook27 @starrynite7114 @awkwardtayler @toni9 @vannabanana1995 @queenbeered @kaystacks17 @thesandbeneathmytoes @star017 @richonne4life @cocotheclown @oscars-wifeyyy @rosieposie0624 @jennisdirtyimagines @ughdontbeboring @partypoison00 @myakai13 @appropriate-writers-name @demonquartz @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @linziland13 @mrsmarvelous1995 @sadeyesgf

#all of his relationships irritated me #let me know what you think?#j cody #j cody imagine #finn cole imagine #animal kingdom imagine #josh cody imagine #ryan destiny faceclaim #ryan destiny #black!oc

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jojikawa · 4 years

Text

•.¸♥¸.•*´💖PREY💖´ *•.¸♥¸.•

💎 SUMMARY: -♥-♡--^[ Izuku allows himself to be persuaded an manipulated by an attractive female villain using her quirk to cloud his judgement and hide her true nature ]^--♡-♥-

💎PAIRING: Izuku Midoriya/Reader

💎WORD COUNT: 2,416 words 12,951 characters

You were apart of the League of Villains. Just a mere school girl like your friend, Toga. It wasn’t until you joined them when you met her. You guys would get along fine and would have fun annoying Dabi together and you trusted her enough to willingly give her a blood sample so that she could impersonate you if needed.

➢One

Two

Three (soon)

After U.A. getting so much attention from the Sports Festival, Shigarki had ordered you to enroll in the school and be a continuous spy for the League. Toga would assist you during the Licensing Exam.

Getting into the school was easy and smooth. Shigaraki had some underground workers forge recommendations for you and the main group of class 1-A automatically liked you with the exception of Katsuki Bakugo. He just rubbed you the wrong way and no matter what you did to charm him he just couldn’t stand the fact that you’d also associate with Izuku.

Over sometime, it had become obvious that Izuku was with All Might somehow, just like Tomura had described to you. You needed to figure out why exactly. The best way to get things out of him would be to see how well your quirk works on him. Your experiments went something like this:

You waited until Izuku was alone. You noticed that he would run off and speak to All Might. You didn’t hear much but it came to your attention that he did not know how to use his quirk. He often hurt himself and tried to cover it up. It was a sunny spring day and the conditions for stalking the adorable little Izuku was more than perfect.

You watched him train for a bit before revealing yourself. Seeing him so hard at work sparked the ‘Alpha’ in you. You wanted to be the one who could tame this power he harnessed.

“Izuku~” You called out to him. He recognized your voice! The scent of the area changed. It smelled...sweet. Izuku didn’t exactly know you but the scent of you and your presence made him feel comfortable and at ease.

“(l-l/n)-chan!” He replied with a stutter but before he could turn around you snaked your arms around his waist and pulled yourself close to him. The feeling of your breasts against his back enticed him and made him melt on the inside. He was getting contact with the new pretty girl.

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” You questioned, releasing him from your grasp. He turned around, face red from blushing and more awkward than ever. He was trying to come up with an excuse to throw you off but your stare was so alluring and hypnotic.

"I-I'm just practicing! What are you doing here? I thought I would have more privacy." He muttered, rubbing the nape of his neck and looking off to the left, as he was too shy to maintain eye contact.

"Practicing?" You tilted your head in an adorable way. "For the licensing exam?" You pretended to think for a moment. You knew what he was doing.

Izuku nodded. "Yeah! There's going to be a physical test so I wanted to be ready!" He told you. "Were you trying to find a place to practice too, (l/n)-chan? If you want, I can leave-"

You moved closer to him and silenced him by placing your hands on his chest. "Please, Izuku, call me (y/n). And I was hoping I could do it with you." You chirped with a smile. Your smile made him feel tingly inside. “With me? I thought you’d want to do it with someone else. Maybe with Uraraka or-”

“No, silly. You need to have more faith in yourself. We just met but I can already tell you’re being more than just modest. I saw your performance at the festival. There’s no one else I’d rather train with.”

This made this Izuku ecstatic on this inside. But he couldn’t shake this feeling that he was in danger. He assumed the feeling came from how you interrupting him in his thought and might’ve heard is talk with All Might, but he didn’t want to assume things about you. “Wow, (y/n), that means a lot.” He blushed deepened and he didn’t deny your touch.

You grinned. It was working. Your quirk was nicknamed “Love and Beauty” It’s passive allowed you to get closer to others without trying and it’s main power allowed you to keep someone infatuated with you. Some emotions can cut your power off such as a natural disliking, explaining why Katsuki Bakugo seems to be immune right now. Maybe when he softens up it can work.

“Good”

From that day forward, you gave Izuku extra attention but you would make yourself scarce, allowing him to miss you. He noticed that you called him “Izuku” and not “Deku” or “Midoriya”. It was off-putting at first but he grew to like the sound of his name more and more.

You had realized that you were making a lot of the first moves and felt that maybe you came on a little too strong?

The other students saw the way Deku would act without you. He seemed like he was almost on edge and often zoned out. It was obvious he was developing Separation Anxiety. A side effect of your quirk. You knew that if someone you used it on started acting indifferent then it was working.

Ochaco was the first to figure out what could've been going on. Izuku had a crush on you and you most likely felt the same way if spend so much time with him in private. She disliked that he had been throwing away his social life to master his quirk and then kiss up to you.

She waited until the end of the class talk to him about it.

"Deku!" She spoke cheerfully. "We're all going to the mall again soon. Would you wanna go this time? Aizawa said he would have Principal Nezu beef up security so that we can have a good time!" She explained with her school supplies in hand.

Izuku grimaced and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, hey, Uraraka! I would love to go but I promised (y/n) that we would hang out after school hours." He laughed awkwardly and fiddled with the bandages around his fingers. This made Ochaco frown. "Are you sure, Deku? You haven't really been yourself lately. We don't really hang out anymore."

"I've just been caught up with studying and training. (y/n)'s been a really big help. She always takes care of my injuries so that I'm not always held up at Recovery Girl's office." Izuku smiled his usual smile at the thought of you soothing his wounds. "I understand but-" Ochaco's words were cut off by your appearance.

Without a word, you had snaked your way behind Izuku. Any normal person would have been startled but it was almost like he expected it. "What's taking so long, Izu?" You asked him in a firm but sweet voice with your gaze on the girl in front of you. Your eyes were piercing Ochaco like a sword. "(y/n)! I was just talking to Uraraka. She was inviting us to hang out at the mall today." Izuku replied.

Really, she had invited him, not you but-

"Sorry, we can't do the mall today. Maybe next time. I'll be waiting outside for you, Izu~" you let go of your boy toy and left the room, making sure to let your eyes linger on Ochaco.

She was cute and a good friend but you feared she would figure out your true intent if you hung around her too much. Once you were out of sight, Ochaco continued.

Izuku blushed and laughed nervously. “I-I kinda think she likes me!”

“Deku, can’t you see the way she’s acting. No girl that likes you would keep you away from your friends. Since when was the last time we all hung out together? She’s not good for you.” She lamented.

But her cries fell on deaf ears. Izuku’s system had already been compromised from your quirk. “I’m sorry, Uraraka but it’s all just for the licensing exam.” He reassured her. “I can try talking to (y/n) about hanging out with you guys until then. She's so good at what she does. Whenever I get hurt, she's always there to patch me up. She’s just shy!” He explained.

Ochaco could tell that she may not have gotten through to him but she had to believe in him and she could live with that. It hurt that Izuku was being charmed by another girl. It was so obvious. Izuku inspired her so much and she wanted to be the one and now a sad prang sat in her chest because she had lost a game that she didn’t know she was apart of. You were so beautiful and your energy was so enticing.

“Alright, Izuku. We’ll see you soon. Please don’t keep us waiting too long.” She smiled kindly and left accordingly. “A-Alright!”

When Ochaco passed you on the way out, she didn’t make eye contact, nor did she even breath in your direction. You had picked up on her subtle feelings for Izuku but it was too bad she was in the crossfire.

“H-Hey! Sorry for taking so long.” He ran over to you with his things in hand. Without a word, you gave him your bag of books, which he was happy to carry. “No problem, Izu~”

The two of you began walking. You skipped and twirled around, occasionally glazing and giggling at the green-haired boy.

"So, what type of training are we focusing on today? I think I'm getting better at using small portions of my quirk so that I don't get hurt." He spoke, breaking the silence.

You looked directly at him. A brief silence before he went on. "N-Not that I don't like it when you take care of me. I appreciate you helping out so much."

"Mmm...nope!" you sped up your pace, ushering Izuku to speed up at well. "No? Oh, well, since we're free today, do you...think we can hang out with my friends sometimes? I know Kacchan scares you and it's hard for you to open up but I promise their good people." He cheered, happily. Your facial expression didn't change. You just wore a semi-fake smile.

He was definitely adorable and you didn't want to say no but getting caught up with the other kids could get you into a lot of trouble..

"If you're talking about today, then no. I have something else in mind...like the park." You moved closer look him and linked your arm with his. "I have a small surprise."

Izuku blushed at your closeness and huffed. "Okay then."

Once you got to the park, you found some clean ground under a tree and instructed Izuku to sit your things there.

It was such a beautiful day. The sun was perfect and made your skin look so radiant. The cool spring breeze was refreshing and Izuku couldn't help but bask in your presence. You were truly amazing to him.

So beautiful, understanding, and supportive. You felt so comfortable to be around and he could always smell this pleasant scent while around you.

Maybe this is what love was beginning to feel like.

You sat on the ground. "Come, Izu." You commanded and like the obedient pup he was, he listened.

"I have something important to talk to you about." You took his calloused hands into your soft delicate ones. His friends were going to become a problem soon. Your quirk would wear off if his feelings for you became too complex. You had to seal the deal.

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows. He wanted to feel happy but a nagging feeling on the back of his head didn't want him to. "Is it about-"

You silence him by squeezing his hand lightly and taking a deep breath. "It's not school-related or even exam related. I've spent a lot of time with you since coming to U.A. Before you, I've never had any friends or even someone I liked. I've been casted away and bullied for my looks but you bypass all of that and accept me for who I am." You stopped for a brief moment to locked eyes with him. He used this as a moment to get a word in.

"Of course (y/n)!...You're beautiful! Whoever thinks otherwise doesn't know what they're missing."

He didn't actually mean for that second part to come out. At this point, Izuku was allowing your intoxicating smell to infiltrate his senses. He interlocked his fingers with yours. His scarred skin being so rough in contrast to yours.

"Oh, Izu~" You leaned forward, so close that he could feel the ghost of your lips touching his.

He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to taste your sweet lips so badly.

You let go of his hands and cupped his face.

"You will make an amazing #1 hero. You deserve so mu-" before you could finish your speech, he kissed you.

Izuku just couldn't take it anymore. His hands reluctantly wrapped around your waist. You've used your quirk to charm other guys but you've never let one kiss you.

It felt so real.

He bit at your lip, asking to use tongue and you let him in. The kiss was so gentle and passionate.

When it came to needing air, you finally stopped. The boy back away, huffing and puffing from lack of breath.

Now it was your turn to blush. You placed your hands on you cheeks, as you felt them heating up. "Izu..." You whispered, nervously.

Izuku's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—" He reached out to you but you just turned away slightly.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser. I can't believe you stole my first kiss!"

"Y-Your first kiss?" He repeated. You giggled madly. "Yes! I took you for a timid one. I thought I was gonna be making all the first moves. You sure did prove me wrong."

"W-Well, I-I don't know what came over me. It just felt...right." He said, honestly. You cocked an eyebrow toward him. "Right? It felt right?"

"Y-Yeah, like...it was supposed to happen."

This was too easy.

"Like fate? So what does that make you and me?" You asked innocently but you already knew the answer.

"I want to be more than just friends! I want to be your boyfriend!"

242 notes · View notes

devinescribe · 3 years

Text

Agape

Last Boss/ Takatora Samura × Reader

Warnings: swearing, past trauma, cheating, murder. Past trauma. I know I said it, but you know

Eros, sexual or erotic love. Can be the love you share with a partner. Lust.

Philia, platonic love. The love you share with friends.

Storge, natural love. The love you share with your family.

Philautia, love of self.

Pragma, long standing love. The love of a married couple.

Agápe, unconditional or Devine love.

Ludus, childish or playful love/flirting.

You laughed, watching the screen, seeing Ludus try to talk some sense into the boy she was helping. "Look at those two getting along," Eros said. "It's been nine years, no? You'd hope they're getting along," you laughed. The screen changed, and you jumped back. "Oh, someone said the word love around divinities," Eros noted. "Ooh, a job for me? It's been so long," you excitedly said, pressing the button. "Well, they're not talking anymore. But, I'll just assume the best and go," you sighed, touching the scene. You felt cold wash over you and shivered. It was so overwhelmingly cold.

"W-what the hell?" You shivered, looking around. There was no one. You sighed, they must have left the room or hidden. "Hello?" You questioned, looking around. The room was a mess, you could barely walk through. "W-what are- who are you?'' A voice questioned. You turned to face them, and saw a man with tattoos on his skin. He was wearing a hoodie without sleeves, most presumably to show off his tattoos. "Silly, you should know. You summoned me!" You laughed, floating over the mess. 'And now she's floating... what is this mess?' He thought to himself, staring up at you. "I didn't summon anything," he stated. You tilted your head to the side. "Oh... It was an accident? Yeah, I get that a lot, but now I'm stuck with you until I help you fall in love, sooooo... let's start with introductions and get that out of the way, yeah?" You suggested, sticking your hand out. He looked at it, sceptical that he would actually touch something. You were either someone that Niragi was using to prank him, or a figment of his imagination. "My name is (Y/N), I'm the cupid of Agape. What's yours?" You introduced. He didn't answer, staring at you. "Ok, well, um... anything you want to talk about, mystery man?" You questioned with a smile, floating closer. He backed up slightly. "Ah, the antisocial type, huh? Alright I like a challenge. May I please know your name?"

You spent hours trying to get him to speak. Finally you had to show him you were real until he answered. He was quite the odd man. He hadn't meant to summon you, really. He was muttering the words to an old rhyme he read once and it just so happened there was divinities on his desk. "The universe never makes mistakes my dear. Even if it was an accident, that," you said after explaining everything. He was not as sceptical anymore, but it still made you laugh. "So you're telling me the only way I can get you to leave is to fall in love with someone or die?" He questioned. You nodded. There was silence once more, and you were getting the feeling that he was not going to talk unless provoked. "Ok, now that you know a bit about me, let me know your name," you said. He looked up at you, studying you.

"You mean to tell me your basically all powerful... but don't know the name of the person you're going to help?"

...

....

"You know what, you're right. I'm going to suggest that to the gods."

It was hours later, and he wouldn't tell you his game. "Please?? Pleaseee?" You begged, shaking his shoulders. "Fine... it's Takatora Samura," he sighed. You jumped up, cheering. "Finally! Thank you!" You shouted, hugging him. You felt him tense up, and let him go. "Not one for physical contact, hm? It's ok," you said, letting him go. You saw him let out a sigh of relief, and laughed a bit. "Is there something humorous about this situation to you?" He asked. You giggled, nodding your head. "Your reactions my dear," you answered. You saw his ears turn red and you smiled. "I'll find out all about you sooner or later, whether you tell me willingly, or I force it out of you," you said, an innocent smile on your face. He didn't think that was an innocent wording to it. It sounded like a threat, and he assumed it was best to just talk to you. You were quite... pretty. Maybe it was the fact you were basically a goddess, but something about you pulled him to you. Not the fact that you two were literally bonded until you helped him fall in love, but something else. He didn't know what it was yet, but he'd figure it out.

"Following you around is quite tiring you know? Always jumping on and off things. It's quite the impressive feat, but still, you must be tired aren't you darling?" You questioned, floating besides him. "So since I asked you to stop calling me the other nickname, you come up with a new one? You're... a frustratingly stubborn woman," he said quietly. He seemed to notice that people couldn't see you, so he found it best to keep quiet when talking to you. "And you're just a frustrating man, so we're even," you said with a smile. "Can you see other cupids? Like when they're down with other people?" He asked, a sudden thought coming to mind. "Hm? We can't see them, but we can most certainly feel their presence. One of us has been with the same one for nine years. He's... well, she keeps him in line that's for sure," you answered. Your dress seemed to float around with you, bouncing and flowing around as if it were alive itself. He didn't know what to think of this whole situation. It was so bizarre. "So... if I had a person who I thought had a cupid helping them, could you find them?" He asked. "I don't know what you're plan is, but it sounds fun, let's go!" You chirped, pulling on his arm.

"Hmm... oh. Oh, yeah he's definitely got a cupid. That's Ludus's energy alright," you said. He let out a small chuckle, and you looked down at him. "What's so funny Mr. Mystery?" You questioned. "If I'm not mistaken... Ludus is childish or playful love, no?" He asked, hiding a smile. You nodded slowly. "So he has a cupid that's the total opposite of him... who repremands him... and makes him do things that follow a normal moral compass? I find that to be hilarious," he said. You laughed, nodding your head. "I guess that is funny when you look at it that way. What else do you have to do?"

It was currently night time, and honestly, you were bored. He just sat in a chair in his room, reading some book he found. "Hey... hey. Hey! Pay attention!" You shouted. He slowly moved his book down, glancing over at you. "Can we talk about something? Anything is better than silence," you said, sitting on his bed. "I guess... um, tell me about your past?" he asked, shutting the book completely. "Oh... sure!"

"I have no doubt you'll do great! I'll see you in a week?" You said, hugging the man in front of you. It was you husband. You had always supported his musical career, insisting that he would make it one day. "Aw, thank you my dear. And of course, in a week or a bit longer. Goodbye," he assured, waving as he walked off. "Goodbye! I love you!"

All was fine, until news came back that he had been see with another woman. You of course, shook it off. Maybe she was just a friend? But of course, they had been caught doing things no friends would.

"I- I just... I need some time,'' you stuttered, pushing him away softly. "You're mine, don't forget that. You don't need time, you just need me," he said forcefully. "No. We aren't doing this. You cheated on me. Please give me the respect I deserve, and give me time to process what happened. In this moment I am not yours. The moment you decided to be with another, was when I stopped being yours," you stated, running off.

After everything you had supported him through, he really threw you to the side for another woman? You had lived in poor conditions, barely managing to pay rent, supporting him, just for him to do this to you? You had never complained, and always told him he'd be great. He was destined for good things. You always knew it. And this was how he repaid the years of support, love, and loyalty? (As Cardi B. Once said... ahem... "Broke boys don't deserve no pussy, I know that's right.")

It was months later when you got a knock at your door. You turned off the tap, placing the dish you were washing down in the sink. You grabbed the towel besides the sink, drying your hands, while walking to the door. They knocked again and you walked faster shouting, "I'm going!"

You got to the door, unlocking it, and opening it. In front of you was a woman who looked the opposite of you. Every aspect if her was different from you. "Oh... um, hello! Is there anything I can help you with?" You asked. She nodded, "I want you gone."

You stared back in shock, thinking you'd misheard her. "Excuse me?" You questioned. She pushed you back, making you hit your head on the wall. You yelped in pain, falling to the floor. "What the hell?!" You shouted, standing up. "He's so obsessed with you, he misses you, we'll see who he misses when I get rid of you!" She screamed, grabbing a knife from the kitchen. You quickly grabbed the doorknob, getting ready to leave. "No you don't you bitch!" She yelled, running at you with the knife. You opened the door, going to run, before she grabbed the edge of your nightgown, pulling you back. You landed back in your home, and she closed the door, locking it. And thats when you knew you wouldn't survive, as she had blocked every exit.

"I think that's about it. She stabbed me to death, I became a cupid. Oh, and I found out that she was the girl he cheated on me with and blah blah blah. Boring talking about me. What about you?" You finished, waving your hands around. "You are- what? I'm so... he... then she.. You got murdered ?" He stuttered. You nodded, "Yeah,why?" "You're so... so nonchalant about it!" He exclaimed, standing up. "Woah there darling, that's a lot of emotion coming from you right now. You sure you're feeling ok?" You asked, walking towards him. "You're like serious? Like actually? That happened?" He questioned. You were so confused. In the single day you had known him, this was all it took to get a reaction?

"Yeah? Why would I lie about that?" You answered. He sighed, sitting down on his bed "Well.. he wasn't a good person. How do you help others fall in love when the love you experienced wasn't devine or unconditional?" he asked. You looked down, an floated over to him. "Um... I-... I don't know... it's just what I do. It makes people happy. I like seeing others happy," you murmured, playing with your hands. "But... doesn't it get tiring of constantly seeing others get what you never had? Don't you get angry or sad?" He asked, turning to face you. "What? I've never.... I-... y-you're... you're right..." you whispered, tears filling your eyes. His eyes widened, seeing your tears. "I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm-"

"It's o-ok, I know you didn't mean to. Y- you've actually helped me..."

Helped you? How had he helped you? By going off on an observation based off of what you had told him? It was strange to him that you hadn't thought about it before.

"But at least you're able to look for your 'one true love' or whatever bullshit people make up."

Silence met his ears, something that he usually would be happy about, but this time, not so much.

"Right?"

"You get to fall in love still, right?"

"..."

"...."

"...no..."

He stared at you like you had just told him the world was going to end in the next five seconds. How could the gods be so cruel as to make you suffer through your life, and now your after life? He couldn't believe it. There was no rest for your soul.

"We die if we do... and a devine death means no coming back. No after life can or will take you. Your soul, essance, and being dissappears," you explained. "Has anyone ever tried it?" He questioned, looking away. You shook your head, "No... it's just something Zues told us all. Oh, and Ares. And Dionysus."

"Those boys always messing with you ladies. Oh it infuriates me. Hello my dear Y/N!"

You jumped, grabbing onto Last Boss. "Fear not, it's only me," she said. You looked up, and smiled. "Lady Freyja! It's so wonderful to see you!" You laughed. "Now, what the boys told you are lies. You are most certainly allowed to fall in love. What ridiculous nonsense. I can't believe they'd play a prank so cruel on all of you," she ranted. "I- we are?" You questioned. She nodded. You smiled, and realized how stupid you were. "Thank you, Lady Freyja," you said, bowing to show your gratitude. She laughed, shaking her head. "There's no need for that. Do be careful however. My magic was almost not strong enough to reach you. Wherever this is... it's dangerous. Please be aware."

Weeks passed, and Last Boss had never shown interest in anyone. "Taka, come on, there's got to be someone you like. Anyone. Really. Guys, girls, in betweens. Anything darling," you complained as he sat reading a book. "You want to know what? I have taken interest in someone," he responded. You jumped up in excitement. "Really?! Who?" You exclaimed, jumping up and down.

"You."

Again, he was met with silence. Something, he realized, he only hated when it was coming from you. "Me? As in... Y/N, cupid of Agape, me?" You questioned. He nodded. Your smile grew wider, and he was becoming worried at your silence.

"It's a good thing I've take interest in you too Samura..."

For the first time in a while, he smiled. A genuine smile. You floated over to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you accidentally summoned me."

Yay! I finished! So, now vote between the ones that are left which is:

Karube - Storge (the love you share for family)

Chota - Philia (the love you share between friends)

Arisu - Eros (sexual love, lust.)

Hatter - Philautia (love of self in a positive or negative way)

#alice in borderland #×reader #last boss #last boss × reader #fluff #this took a while to write #i need to write more for him hes such an interesting character #i would love to have long conversations with him just because it wouldn't get boring #hed be pretty fun ngl

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bangtanreadingcorner · 4 years

Text

all this time • kim seokjin

plot – you and your best friend, seokjin, drifted apart after he became a famous actor. years later, you find your way back to each other.

words – 3.5K

When your best friend Kim Seokjin got the lead role in a movie when you two were eighteen years old, you were ecstatic for him. What you were less ecstatic about was the fact that you grew apart to the point where you didn't even greet each other if you happened to cross one other in the street. Something that didn't happen very often because he moved to the city, but it still happened, each time he visited his parents in your hometown.

You, on the other hand, could never leave your home. Not forever, at least. It's not that bad, despite what some of the teenagers might say, it's a really big town. Big enough that not everyone knows everyone, and nobody poked their noses where it didn't belong. There is a lot to do, too, if you're a local and you know where to look. You love this place and you'll never completely leave it. You left years ago, to study and become a doctor, but then you came back. Now you live in an apartment and your work at the local hospital. It's not glamourous and glittery but it's home and it's what you've always wanted. It makes you happy and content, to help people and to heal physical injuries, get parents and children alike back on their feet, curing someone who's sick.

Sometimes there is a hollow place in your chest that aches, somedays more than others, but mostly you ignore it. You know what's missing from your life, you know what belongs there. You also know you're never getting it back, so you push past it and deal with it.

But beyond that, life was good.

A scream startles you out of your reverie and you come back to earth, looking around the small coffee shop you were in from where to were seated by the window, nearly rolling your eyes when you saw what it was.

It was Kim Seokjin, famous actor who had most woman's heart skipping a beat, who had just walked into the coffee shop, who used to be your best friend. It was two girls who spotted him and was now giggling while pointing - at least discreetly - at him with wide smiles on their faces.

You wonder with vague amusement what they would say if they knew that when you were thirteen, he stuck an olive up his nose because you bet him that his nose was to small and he wouldn't be able to do it.

Your eyes suddenly met Seokjin's, and you looked away immediately, missing the way his face fell into a cherstfallen look. But Seokjin, ever the professional, quickly wiped his features into a charming smirk, even if he felt like he was breaking inside. He wondered, not for the first time, if stardom was worth the price of losing you.

You ignored his presence as best you could, finishing your hot chocolate and the rest of your breakfast. After paying for your meal and getting ready to leave, you couldn't help but take another look at him, because he was your best friend Jin for long before he was Kim Seokjin the Actor and despite what you try to convince yourself of, you still miss him.

You looked to where he was seated and found him already staring. Instead of immediately looking away, you let your gaze linger, long enough that he gave you a hesitant smile and a little wave. You finally adverted your eyes, turned around and walked out of the cafe.

***

"I heard Seokjin-ah is back in town." Your mother said conversationally when you went to visit your parents that evening for dinner.

"Yeah, I saw him this morning in Misses Jung's Diner." You answered, making sure to keep your tone disinterested, not wanting her to get into this topic.

Your mother brightened, as she bustled around the kitchen. Your father was in the living room, watching television. "Oh, and how is he doing? The star life treating him well?"

"How would I know? I didn't talk to him." You shrugged with a light frown. "I told you, we're not friends anymore."

"And who's decision was that?" Your mother asked, rounding on you with narrowed eyes.

"No one, it was just life. We drifted apart, that's it." You answered honestly. You really did drift apart, but it could have been prevented, if Seokjin put in more effort. You did everything you could to keep your friendship, but eventually he stopped returning your calls and texts, and it wasn't until he finally didn't even send you a text on your twenty first birthday that you gave up completely. When you got a new phone from your parents, you didn't save his number again.

"Maybe now that he's back, you two can patch things up again." You mother suggested with an excited smile. "You know, you aren't getting any younger and I want grandbabies."

"Mom!" You gasped in a little exasperation, but not surprised at all. This has been going on since you turned 25. You suppose you're lucky that she's not like Mrs. Kwon next door who tries to set her daughter up with any willing man, that she just teases you with Seokjin every now and again. Probably because she knows you're in love with him, even after all these years. "I'm 28, not 48. Also, Jin and I were just friends. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You can never tell me enough times that I'll be convinced." She said with a pointed look in her eyes as she grinned at you. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, regretting the night you showed up at home and cried your eyes out because you realised that you are in love with Seokjin and he's gone and you never got to tell him. You almost went to Seoul that weekend to tell him.

"Just because I have feelings for him, doesn't mean he has feelings for me." You reminded her.

"Hah!" She scoffed, muttering under her breath about 'stupid children' and 'won't know unless it hits them in the face'. You shook your head with a fond smile as you watched her until the door bell rang.

You frowned lightly, "Are you expecting someone?"

"Yes." You mother nodded, brightening up significantly, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "Oh, that must be Minji and Seokjin."

"You invited Jin and his mom to dinner?" You hissed at you mother, only glaring slightly. You assumed Seokjin's dad wasn't coming because he isn't home, probably on rotation - a military man through and through is how you'd discribe Mr. Kim, if ever asked.

You got a whack with the dishtowel behind the head, "Y/N, behave."

Dinner was a boisterous affair, but not from your part. You didn't know if it was thanks to your mother - but you'd bet a month's salary that it was - that you and Seokjin end up sitting next to each other, but you did. He looked at you, a lot. You could feel it, his gaze like a brand on your skin.

"Seokjin-ah, your mom tells me you'll be in town for a while." Your mom said with a bright smile and you breathed a little easier when he moved his eyes away from you. Your heart was still unsteady.

"Yes, Ma'am, I'll be staying for a month before my next film's production starts." He answered politely, voice deep and soothing and everything that you want. You clenched your fists in your lap, swallowing thickly as you reminded yourself that you couldn't have it.

"That's wonderful." Your mother said.

After finishing your dinner, you had to get out of there. "Excuse me, I'm feeling like swinging."

"Me too." Seokjin said with a cheery smile, rising from his chair as well.

"You're not invited." You snapped and felt guilty when he flinched.

"Y/N, this is not how I raised you." Your mother said with a slight glower on her face. You look to your dad for help, but he just smiles at you before stuffing his mouth with more food.

You sighed in resignation, "Fine, he can join me if he really wants."

You walked to the backdoor without looking to see if Seokjin was following you. You wanted to leave so you could get away from him, clear your head and get your bearings right.

The swing you talked about wasn't an actual swing - although you do like going to the swings in the park a few blocks from your house - but a swinging bench that your dad hung for you from the tree behind the house years ago. The swinging bench held countless memories of you and Jin, playing and having fun. You sat down and wait for him to sit down too before kicking with your feet against the ground and swinging.

It was dark and quiet outside, just the sounds of the night animals waking up. It was soothing in a way that little else was. The comforting and safe presence next to you hasn't been there for a decade, and you soaked it up, knowing it wouldn't last past tonight.

"How have you been?" Seokjin eventually asked, breaking the silence that settled over you two.

"Do we have to talk?" You asked and it's not meant to come out that sour or mean, but there's a lot of resentment in you towards him for just letting fifteen years of friendship go down the drain for fame. The friendship between you was something you cherished most in this world and before you were in love with him, you just loved him. Losing a loved one always hurt. And it did. It hurt like hell when you lost him and your friendship.

He flinched from your words, again, and you felt guilty again. He looked at you but you didn't look at him as he spoke. "I'm sorry, that I ever hurt you by leaving."

"It's fine, it's been ten years. I'm over it." You waved him off, when really it isn't fine and you aren't over it.

"Still, I never wanted to hurt you." Seokjin said, sincere and open.

You sighed, closing your eyes and leaning back on the bench. He had the right idea, by apologizing, but he was apologizing for the wrong thing. "You leaving didn't hurt me, Jin. Cutting me out of your life did."

***

A few days later on your day off, you were riding your motorcycle, on your way to the mall - the bookstore had finally let you know that the medical journal you ordered had arrived - when you heard it. Voices screaming 'Seokjin- or Jin-oppa'. Your head automatically swivel in that direction and you didn't know whether to laugh at the sight or feel sorry for Seokjin, who was being chased by five girls. You wanted to just drive away.

But then you caught sight of the slightly terrified look on his face and your heart twisted violently. You swore, and revved your bike before turning around and making a U-turn, riding to where Seokjin was. Both him and the girl's stopped in their tracks when they noticed you were driving straight at them. They all froze, not moving or running like most people would have.

You braked and slowed down until you were infront of Seokjin, idling as you flipped open the visor and called, "Hey, Kim Seokjin! Get on!"

He didn't hesitate, climbing on and wrapping his arms around your waist tightly before you took off. You drove him to his house, not making any detours because you wanted to get away from Seokjin before he could realise the fast pace of your heart was not because of adrenaline but because of his close proximity.

"Can we talk?" He asked after he got off, placing a hand on your forearm to prevent you from taking off.

You took a deep breath, then turned off your bike and took off your helmet, looking at him expectantly while flattening your hair. "Talk about what?"

"Anything, I don't care." He answered, tone bordering on pleading. "I just want to talk to you."

"You were the one that shut me out." You said, voice just this side of cold as you rested your feet on the tar road.

"Because I wanted to make something of myself and I couldn't do that if all I thought about was packing up and coming home to you." Seokjin defended himself, hoping that you'd see reason.

Instead, you scoffed at him. "Well, you did. So, congratulations. I hope you're happy and I hope it was worth it."

"I missed you." Seokjin said out of the blue. Your body tensed and you wanted to look at him, but you didn't. Too afraid that if you did you'd cave and forgive him. "Everyday, for the past ten years, I've missed you. I never stopped, not once."

The words was like a healing salve to your sore and bruised heart that never quite healed right. You swallowed thickly. "What do you want me to say, Jin?"

It was quiet for a while, before he finally asked. "Do you really hate me that much?"

You laughed a little, as if. How much easier would your life be if you could have just hated him after he stopped talking to you. If you did, maybe you could have moved on, had those grandchildren your mother is always nagging about. You shook your head, "No, I don't hate you, I never have. I never could."

"Can we try to be friends again?" He asked, bright and hopeful and you hated to be the one to destroy that, but you didn't have another choice.

"Just so we can drift apart again?" You challenged, scoffing a little. "No, thanks, I already lost you once, I'd rather not do it all over again."

"It's different this time." Seokjin insisted earnestly.

You opened your mouth, to give a harsh remark, but when you saw the honesty and seriousness in his eyes, you asked instead, "How?"

Seokjin smiled at you and you ignored the way it made you feel like you could melt into a puddle of goo. "Well, for one, we're both grown up this time around. And two, I've decided that maybe it's time to start putting roots down."

"Haven't you done that in the city?" You questioned with a frown.

"Not really, no." Seokjin shook his head. "There's just no place like home, you know?" He asked, giving you a look

You looked at him and smiled slightly, "Yeah, I know."

"Can I show you something? Tomorrow?" Seokjin asked, and seeing your hesitation, he added on a gentle, "Please."

"Okay." You agreed, watching as he gave you a brilliant smile. Your heart singed and your stomach flip-flopped.

"You can come by tomorrow at 11." He said and you nodded in agreement.

"See you tomorrow."

You started your bike and drove away, anticipation and excitement for the next day knotting your stomach.

***

"Why did you bring me here?" You asked the next day, heart full of bursting emotions as you looked at the house. It wasn't just any house, it was your dream house. The house you fell in love with when you were fifteen years old, it wasn't a mansion, but it wasn't a small house either, at three stories high. It was an old, fixer upper, but you've always loved it. It was a little secluded, being just out of town and in the woods, and it was where you planned to stay one day.

Seokjin knew all of this. You two sneaked here many times and he listened to you rant about the house and how perfect it is even more times. So, why bring you here now?

"Remember what I said about putting roots down?" He asked and you hummed in confirmation, nodding slightly, a bit confused. "I bought it."

Your eyes widened and you gaped at him, completely thrown off by his words. "You- what? Why?"

Suddenly, his demeanor turned nervous, hands trembling slightly and voice shaky when he spoke, "I was hoping that, maybe, it could be a home. For us."

"Jin-"

"Just let me talk, okay? Because if I don't say this right now, I never will." Seokjin said, holding up a hand to silence you, and you nodded, a little greatful because you had no idea what the hell to say to that. "I've been in love with you since I was thirteen years old and ten years ago I left because I had nothing to offer you, I had no money, no way to give you your dream house. But now? Now I can give you everything you deserve."

You still didn't know what to say. You stayed quiet, thinking about what he said and how to respond to that because this - Jin telling you he loves you back - is everything you've ever wanted.

"Jin, I didn't need this, it was just a dream. You-" You broke off, emotions choking you up. "You were what I really wanted."

"I know, Y/N. I've known you almost all my life, and I know material things isn't what makes you happy, but I wanted to be able to give them to you." He said sincerely, looking at you with his chocolatey depths that made your heartbeat speed up. He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "These last ten years, they were hell with out you. I tried to stay your friend, but it got to hard to talk to you everyday and not be with you, not being able to tell you what I feel. So, I started putting distance between us, promising myself that one day, I'll come back and tell you everything."

Your mouth felt dry, heart thundering in your ears as you looked at him. Your voice was a whisper when you spoke, "Do you know how much you hurt me? Do you have any idea?"

"I do, because it hurt me too. I'm sorry, Y/N, so truly sorry and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll let me." He said, taking a step forward but you took one back, needing space to think.

"How do I know you won't just leave again?" You asked him, challenging and a little mean.

"Because I love you and I want a life with you." Seokjin said, then much more hesitant and softer, he asked, "Do you want that too?"

You stared at him, heart beating wildly, eyes stinging and chest constricting. You didn't think it was possible to feel this much all at once. Finally, you nodded slowly. "Yeah, I do."

Seokjin sighed in relief, shoulders slumping over as he nearly kneeled over with the force of his relief. He took a step closer and when you didn't move away from him again, he stepped closed until he was near enough to pull you close, hugging you tightly to his body, the way your body fit against his familiar, but at the same time it was new because he'd never hugged you before while knowing that you reciprocate his feelings. He dreamed, wished, hoped but never fully believed it. His whole life, everything he built, was done on nothing but his love for you. He didn't know if you felt the same or if you'd even still be here by the time he came back or even if you were, if you would still be single then. All he had was his love. His love that burned brighter than ever before.

"Hey, stupid." You called softly, cheeks aching you were smiling so wide.

"I'm not-" He cut himself off with a resigned sigh. "What is it?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." He said, and you could hear the smile in this voice.

"It's not going to be easy." You warned him, because there was at least sixty different ways this could go wrong. You held him a little tighter and he squeezed back.

"Nothing worth having ever is." He retorted smugly.

"Smartass." You huffed, slapping lightly against his back, more fond than anything else.

"Your smartass, though."

"Yeah," You nodded with a happy smile, lifting your head from his chest so you can look into his eyes. "Mine."

Seokjin cupped your cheeks, leaning down and pressing a quick and gentle kiss against your lips. He pulled away, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. You could feel the heat spreading to your own cheeks as well. "Sorry, I should have asked before I kissed you."

"You call that a kiss?" You huffed, watching as realisation spread in his eyes. He smirked down at you and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, you yanked him down and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss, because really, it's been over a decade since you've wanted to do this. He didn't hesitate to respond to your kiss, just as eagerly and you realised that this was finally happening. After all this time, years of pining and hurting and thinking it never would, it was finally happening.

Your mother is going to gloat all the way into the next century.

the end.

#kim seokjin #bts jin #seokjin #bangtan #bangtan fanfic #bts fic #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin x y/n #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x oc #jin x oc #jin x you #jin x y/n

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