#[i want more interactions figuring these tiny little things about him first and not just 'well hello there hamsom / brave/ strong man'

[daisyblog]

Dad Mode

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Harry is overprotective of Grace and worries about everything.

YN always knew Harry was born to be a father. She watched over the years as he interacted with Lux when they were on tour with the band, how he would be happy to help when her younger siblings, Doris and Ernest were born or how excited he was when they become Auntie and Uncle to Freddie, Lucky and Olive. 

But YN couldn’t help but notice how Harry’s protective side had kicked in at full speed once Grace wos born. 

Before YN and Grace were discharged from the hospital, the new family of three were enjoying some time of being in their baby bubble. Harry was sitting on the chair next to the bed, his eyes glued to Grace who was feeding as she laid in YN’s arms. 

“Do you think she’s having enough milk? How will we know?”. Harry’s voice was full of worry as he watched YN take to motherhood like a natural. “It’s not like a bottle is it? Where you can see how much she’s drinking.”.

YN glanced up to find a frown written all over Harry’s face as he was deep in thought. “Will you stop being a worry pants!”. She couldn’t help but laugh. “You know earlier when she came off the boob herself?”. Harry nodded. “It meant she’d had enough and she’s really calm and content when she’s feeding.”. 

Harry’s shoulders relaxed at YN words, her reassurance working instantly. “Yeah, that makes sense…m’sorry, I just want everything to be right”. 

“I know you do”. YN couldn’t be more grateful for Harry. “How about when we’re home I can express sometimes and then you’ll be able to feed Grace too?”.

Harry’s eyes lit up with excitement at the idea. “I’d love that!”: 

---

Whilst YN was preparing for Grace’s nighttime routine, and cuddling the little one in her blanket, Harry was running her a bath. 

“Babe? C’mere!”. Harry’s voice was heard from the bathroom. YN, with Grace still cuddled in her arms, padded across the hall. 

“What’s wrong bubs?”. YN watched as Harry held the little baby soap in his hands, reading the back of it. 

“How much of this should I put it? I don’t want to put on much…but then I don’t want to not put enough in….but I’ve read the back and it says a tiny bit…but what’s a tiny bit…it’s all too confusing”. Harry didn’t take a breath, YN could see the worry in his eyes.

“Bubs…take a breath…and relax…just put a little drop into the water and that’ll be enough”. YN calmly explained and watched as Harry added some nighttime bubbles to the baby bath. 

After Harry checked the temperature was safe for Grace, YN placed the little baby into the water and they both laughed at how relaxed she was as she laid there, her small blue eyes piercing up at them. 

After Grace’s bath, YN was sat on the rocking chair feeding her as her little eyes slowly closed as she quietly went to sleep. Harry was stood leaning against the doorframe as he watched his wife and daughter. 

“I’m sorry”. His voice was gentle, not wanting to disturb a sleeping Grace. 

“Sorry for what?” YN couldn’t help but wonder what Harry was apologising for. 

“I know I’m being silly and too much when it comes to things with Grace.”. Harry looked down as he spoke. 

“Aww bubs…you’re not being silly or over the top…you’re being a good dad and just wanting to do everything right”. YN reassured him.

YN walked over to be closer to Harry. “Here…take Grace and enjoy some cuddles!”. 

---

YN was woken up with a sound of a floorboard creak, as she squinted and tried to adjust to waking up, she could see Harry’s figure looking into Grace’s crib. 

“Harry? Bubs?”. YN whispered, aware that Grace couldn’t be awake because she usually cried. 

“I-I…I thought I heard Grace make a noise”. Harry rearranged the blanket before he got back into bed. 

“Talk to me bubs.” YN invited Harry to cuddle into her. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”. She ran her fingers through his hair. 

Harry didn’t say anything at first, just traced patterns over YN’s skin on her arm as he thought deeply. “I feel like I’m in constant worry mode..I’m worried about messing up or if Grace is okay…I just can’t stop worrying”. 

“I understand…but you do know that you’re the only person I’d want to parent with and you’re the best dad to Grace…and you’ll be the same with our future babies…so treat yourself with kindness”. Harry chucked at YN’s use of his lyrics. 

“Are you ever going to stop using lyrics in serious conversations?”. Harry smiled as they were still cuddled up as one. 

“No…now get some sleep before Grace wants cuddles in the morning with the best Daddy!”. 

Tag List:

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[convxction]

[ you being nice and wholesome to chrom will make him very emotional. thanks for support friend. 

[deadsetobsessions]

Alley Drunk! Danny AU- Part 1

[Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4]

To not turn into a giant raging asshole hell bent on murdering people and destroying the world after everyone he loved died, Danny had ran from Amity with his chosen vice.

A bottle. That’s right. Even after Jazz’s talks about alcoholism as a poor coping mechanism as a form of self harm, he still chose alcohol. Or maybe that’s why he picked it, because it reminded him of her, right before the booze took the sting of grief off of her memory. He was never really all that good at listening to Jazz.

And now she’s gone, so it’s moot point. Danny really hated Nasty Burger.

Danny made it all the way to Gotham, bottle constantly glued to his hand. It’s better than Vlad’s creep-o-self looming over him all of the time. He bummed out on the streets, fitting into crime alley like a native. Danny learned to pickpocket. Not much, just enough for a bottle when his ran out. He stayed human. At first he tried to convince himself that it was because he didn’t want to be perceived as a meta in a city where Batman notoriously disliked metas. Then, as he sunk deeper, he admitted to himself in a shameful curl of a whisper that it was really because alcohol affected his human side much easier.

Ghosts need an ungodly amount of alcohol to even get slightly buzzed. Danny’s human side? Only one full bottle the shittiest tequila he could find could even hope to be more than buzzed. It sucked.

He’s spent two years being an alcoholic that didn’t actually get that drunk. Technically, underage drinking was a crime. But then again, so was being a vigilante ghost. So, whatever. He does what he can to dull the grief. Mostly, he slept on covered and hidden nooks on top of Crime Alley’s roofs. Gotham city had taken pity on him and cleared her smog clouds when he was awake at night. Stargazing helped, at least. It gave him a little hope. It gave him a little wish to change and better and live like he wants. But then the night ends and when the day comes, Jazz isn’t there. Sam isn’t there. Tucker isn’t there. His mom and dad are not there.

Danny always went back to the bottle, in the end. Not that it did much.

Which was why, when he saw three looming figures over a tiny child, Danny’s saving people thing flared with a vengeance and his surprised ectoplasm burned what little buzz he had achieved by downing most of the bottle away, leaving him stone cold sober and pissed.

Danny sighed, dumping the rest of the nasty tasting liquid out. There’s no point drinking that little.

He approached the trio, who were beating up an actual child. Ancients, he hated Crime Alley sometimes.

“Give me your shit, you little punk!” Asshole 1 decided to say like a typical mugger, raising his leg to kick the curled up kid below. Danny doesn’t let him land the kick, smashing the bottle on the asshole’s head before any of them clocked his presence. He pivots, pushing a bit of that extra strength he normally keeps on a tight leash into his hands, and punched the other two in a quick fashion, knocking them out.

With that taken care of, Danny turned back to the kid who was still curled up. Danny sighed again, the trembles in small shoulders plucking on his heartstrings.

“You okay, kid?”

The kid uncurls, and Danny stared. Holy shit, is he looking into a mirror? Blue eyes, black hair, and tanned skin. Holy shit, he’s even got similar jaws to Danny.

“Huh.”

The kid flinched.

“Y-y’er the drunk,” the kid flinched again, eyes darting to the broken bottle still clenched in Danny’s hand. “I- I ain’t got money, honest. Please-”

Danny blinked down at the kid, brain connecting the dots after so long without actual interaction. He’s panicking and staring at the bottle in Danny’s hand like it’ll kill him. Danny raised the bottle and the kid closed his mouth with a click, terror worming its way into the kid’s eyes.

“I wasn’t going to mug you myself, kid.”

“But- y’er the- the Alley drunk.”

Danny blinked. Did he get a reputation without knowing again? Goddammit.

“I guess. Am I famous or somethin’?”

“Nobody- nobody fucks wit’ ya.”

“I also don’t hurt kids.”

“…”

The kid stared at him dubiously and with a sinking feeling, Danny realized that maybe the kid already had some terrible experiences with a heavy drunken hand. He promptly chucks the bottle further into the alley.

“I drink, yes. But I’m also not the kind of scum that would lay hands on a kid, let alone anyone that didn’t provoke it first.”

“Oh.” The kid uncurled more, looking at Danny warily, more at ease now that the bottle has left the chat.

“Yeah. I’m Danny. Stone cold sober, right now.”

“…”

Danny waited.

“Peters.”

“Okay. Peters, do you wanna take their shit?” Danny pointed a thumb at the knocked out would-be-muggers behind him.

“Y… yeah, sure. What’s my cut?”

“All of it.”

Peters stared.

Danny shrugged and started looting.

"Y'er so fuckin' weird."

----

See, the thing is, Danny hadn't anticipated saving Peters- "'s actually Jason"- would result in having a duckling following him around. The kid, Jason, glared at everyone who even looked at them wrong. But that's not the problem, because Danny could take anyone who took issue with Jason's looks, it's more like there's a child following him around now and Danny doesn't want to be the reason Jason turns into an alcoholic. It's- well, it made him cut down on the drinking. He even got jobs- legitimate jobs that sucks out his his poor ectoplasmic soul.

Why? Because Jason's apparently homeless. While that's something Danny's okay with for himself, he can't ever condone that for an actual child. Jason's walking around in threadbare clothes and thin soled shoes in the middle of Fall, for Ancient's sake.

Danny grumbles as he piled a bunch of clothes into the shopping bag as he checked out. Gotham's Walmart is a different kind of hell, but Danny feels right at home.

Sure, the work might suck out his soul and he might hate being sober, but Jason's face every time he comes home to an actual place to live, warm clothes, and food was worth everything.

[taiyouhimerich]

wow yeah im stealing my own cai bot is this what they call creativity????

“Smells like sweet home”

Husband! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

tags and warns: aaaw cmon just a bit of soft thing, it colds even be safe for work! but with just a little bit of mention of sexual interaction, so still 18+ mdni!!!

psss gonna make part 2 w/ aomething morrrrre

Words count: 1,4k (and yes thats alot for me)

Leon never needed much from life: he dreamed about what all American men probably dream about. You know, a white picket fence, a housewife always waiting for him at home and ready to welcome him after a hard day's work, and a couple or triple adorable children who would run up to him, hugging him, missing their daddy. And for a long time it seemed to him that all these dreams were shattered the moment he ran over the barricades on the road leading to Raccoon City.

But that belief was shattered the moment he saw you. Beautiful, graceful, soft, just perfect for him, how could he not notice you among all the crowds of these gloomy, rude, cruel people? He felt like an insecure teenager again, noticing the most beautiful girl in school, a feeling he hadn't had in a couple dozen years. Courting you was ordinary, romantic, but nothing fancy, but it still won your heart. Or maybe it was the way a grown-up man blushed and sweated like a puberty boy when he saw you, you don't know for sure, but it was definitely something that made you start dating him.

If you ask him now, he would say that he does not even remember what happened until the moment when he knelt in front of you, taking out a modest but beautiful ring in a velvet box from his pocket. Standing in front of you at that moment, he was thinking that he didn't know what he would do if you said no, and you could swear that you saw tears in his eyes when you agreed. Your fiance looked like a tiny puppy, wagging his tail and running around his owner with joyful barking while you put on your wedding dress, asking him to stay close and help with the corset at the same time. You were amazing: the beautiful white fabric flowed over your body as if you were doused with milk, and several layers of tulle under your skirt made your figure even more magnificent. He hugged you tightly after he was done with the lacing, while you tried to chase him away, laughing kindly, saying something about you needing your personal time, when she leaned into your ear, tucking a strand of your hair before whispering.

“Then let it be as you say, I'll give you your so-called personal time, because from the first second of our honeymoon, I won't let you go for even a moment....”

And he didn't lie, he never lied to you, because no matter how much you both wanted to go to an Indonesian beach or watch flamingos, you couldn't get out of bed. Oh, how you fucked, all the food you ate was from room service, you were on the bed, on the floor, in the luxurious bathroom, even on the balcony at night, you did everything you could think of while Leon pressed against you, kissing under your ear, pleading, but deep voice purring.

“Just one more time, Mrs. Kennedy.”

Mrs. Kennedy did something incredible to you, and you succumbed over and over and over again, allowing him to enjoy you, his beloved woman, his wife... and considering how furiously he thrusted into you, the mother of his children at the same time. So neither of you were surprised when, a month after your honeymoon, your period didn't come, and the next day you saw two stripes on the test. Even twice, so that the results are for sure. You heard the joke that two positive tests mean two children, it was from Leon when he joked about it, and you slapped him on the back of the head, making him laugh, but when doctor told you at the first ultrasound that you were going to have twins, you were both shocked. In a pleasant shock, to be precise.

And this was the moment that he loved to remember every time he returned home to his dear wife, unlocking the front door with keys so quietly that his newborns would not wake up. Most of all, he wanted to throw his bag on the floor right in the hallway, along with his unbuttoned uniform, and fall on the bed, without a shower and dinner, although dinner at three in the morning is a terrible idea. When he lets out a tired sigh, hearing his vest release his chest, falling to the floor with a soft booming thud, he hears the rustling and creaking of your bedroom door, immediately tensing up and turning his head in that direction. A smile paints his face with happiness when you come out to him, in a pink fur robe and slippers in the form of pugs, coming closer, and slightly timidly spreading your arms in an invitation to a hug.

“My pretty one....” He mumbles, taking a step towards you and wrapping you in a tight hug, letting you bury your forehead in his shoulder.

“I missed you, Lee....”You gently stroke his back, running your palms over his shoulder blades when you feel his kiss in your hair. You can't help but giggle softly, kissing him somewhere on the jaw, feeling his unshaven stubble with your lips. It makes you laugh again and pull away, putting your hands on his chest with a smile. “Unscathed?”

“Kinda. A little injuries here and there, but nothing I couldn't handle, you know me.”He laughs hollowly, placing his palms on your forearms to pull you closer and kiss your cheek. “I missed you too... and our little ones.... How are they?”

“Scott is just perfect, and Melissa has become more moody in recent days.” You respond by sighing softly while his kisses make you giggle. “She is not so willing to being fed with breast, I have to use a pumper.... God, there's too much of you in this girl, you know.”

Leon laughs, quietly, so that God forbid not to wake up your children. “I don't think I've ever been able to give up on your breasts.”His lips continue to shower kisses on your face as he gradually descends to your neck, pushing back the collar of your robe. Huh. He even remembers the times when you met him in a red silk nightgown and black lace underwear… Well, after the wedding and pregnancy, your wardrobe has changed significantly. But that doesn't mean it's bad for him. Come on, he likes how homely you are!

His lips find your collarbone when he runs his tongue over your skin, sucking greedily, under your quiet but ringing giggle, and it makes you let out a soft moan. Your hands find his head with a familiar movement, intertwining with his hair as you mumble. “I don't think I've ever offered you...”

“Do you want to do it now?”His cheeky grin is audible even when you can't see his face, while he buries his head in the neckline of your robe, nuzzling into the cleavage between your breasts. He knows for sure that you will slap him on the back of the head, confusedly mumbling something about how it's something perverted, but he can't help but inhale, closing his eyes and soaking up the smell of your boobs. Those round soft tits, all big and swollen because of the milk, smelling of sweet, warm this very milk.... His children, his precious daughter and son, smell the same scent because your milk is what is always around them, so this smell is so cozy, homely, relaxing him and making him forget about all those horrors he looked at during his missions....

That's where he ends up, but not because you push him away, no. He stays between your boobs, continuing to take this bath of your milky scent until he feels... ashamed. When this process heals his mental wounds enough for him to think more sensibly, he realizes how embarrassing this thing really is. That he's literally obsessed with your boobs and sniffing them like some kind of pervert. He feels the warmth of your chest against his face for a little longer, and then pulls away, straightening up and straightening your robe. He can't help but squeeze them lightly in his palms, and before you can say anything, he looks away, clears his throat, and pats you on the shoulder, walking around you and muttering.

“Gonna check on ours.”

Later, you will find this tough, exhausted man sitting on the floor between the cradles of your children, sticking only his fingers between the partitions to hold each of the babies by the palms. A soft smile spreads across your tired face. What a cutie. All of them.

definitely p2 guys i just feel ashamed to make it as a one pretty big post, so I splitted that…..

[divineei]

TOOTM  zero. old beginnings

! go kyungjun x fem!reader

# relationship lore, first meeting, heavy infatuation, mentions of kyung jun having daddy and mommy issues

a/n. chill yall i swear im putting my whole authorussy on this

months before the school trip…

rain pours on top of the bus stop's roof. although tiny, the cover is enough to prevent kyung jun's clothes from getting even wetter.

if only he had brought an umbrella. he was in such a rush to get out of his house after yet another fight with his parents, he didn't even hear the water falling from the sky before it was too late and was already running around the streets.

kyung jun had no idea how long had passed since he stormed out, not that he cared anyway. he considered this ten times better than all the yelling at home. when he managed to ignore the cold, the little bus stop was peaceful; quiet.

or it was.

he dug in his pocket to take out a cigarette and put it in his mouth when the sound of hurried footsteps stepping on puddles distracted him. he turned his head towards the noise, immediately setting eyes on the figure sprinting towards him: a girl in winter clothes held a bag above her head as a shield from the rain while she ran in his direction. she stopped right next to him, breathing heavily and drenched in water.

kyung jun turned his attention back to his tobacco. he paid her no mind. why would he? he had enough to deal with seeing as he also fell victim to the pouring rain.

he felt the weight of the stranger sitting at the other end of the bench as he took out his lighter. however, rolling the flint wheel was useless as only a spark came out. he tried again. and again. and again, but still no flame. kyung jun's breath rose erratically and his pent-up frustration with it.

"fucking piece of shit", he sent the thing flying with as much force he could manage, making it break into pieces. was nothing supposed to work in his favor? he can't stop misbehaving like he promised his mother, he can't be the top of his class like he promised his father, he can't stop himself from lashing out right in their faces; for fucks sake he can't even light a cigarette. maybe they were right: he was worthless.

out of the corner of his eye, he saw something being handed to him. the stranger had reached her arm out with a lighter in hand. kyung jun's eyes varied from it to the face he'd been ignoring: drops of water were falling from her hair to her cheeks, she wore headphones around her neck and a lit cigarette between her parted lips, with eyes that stared at him through wet lashes, waiting for him to accept the offer.

he reached for the lighter, brought it close to him, and finally took a puff of his cigarette.

"you okay?", asked the pretty girl.

he looked back at her, seemingly taken aback by her interest but nodding nonetheless.

their interaction was cut short with a quick smile from her as she put her headphones on.

in his mind, kyung jun caught himself juggling feelings from shame to disappointment, realizing maybe he wanted somebody to ask if he was alright. he wouldn't have minded an opening to more conversation, even if it was to forget his troubles for just a few minutes. but he understood. i mean, who would care about a stranger on the streets anyway? who would care about him anyway?

the time passed as quickly as did his pack of cigarettes and now, with an empty box in his pocket, kyung jun's anger was rising once again. not because of the distress of his mind though but because of the loud music disturbing his peace.

after what felt like hours of trying to ignore the noise, he decided he had enough and aggressively waved his hand to catch the girl's attention.

"mmh?", she looked at him and removed one of the speakers.

"turn that shit off."

"excuse me?" she scoffed raising her brows.

"i said," kyung jun pointed at the headphones that were now around her neck, "turn it off. it's fucking annoying me."

she let out a teasing chuckle. was she... laughing at him right now? "fuck off. i'll listen to my music however i want."

...the fuck? his mouth opened in disbelief. this was a first. nobody, and i mean nobody, would even think of talking back to him like that.

"who do you think you're talking to?" he turned his body to her with a scowl intimidating enough to make anyone at his school go running with their tail between their legs.

"someone with no taste in music, apparently."

damn, she really was laughing at him.

kyung jun's mouth opened to fight back but no words came out. he couldn't believe it. he was stunned. did the rain wash out every threatening aspect of him?

it could be the cold, the shock, the contagious smirk of the pretty girl, or maybe the exhaustion finally catching on to him, but for whatever reason, he couldn't find it in him to say anything back. so he laughed. just slightly. some probably would consider it more of a defeated sigh. but he did.

"what?"

her smile was taunting him, provoking him to keep talking.

"nothing", yet he didn't have the energy for it, not right now. so today, he'd let it slide.

her smile shifted from cheeky to genuine when he brushed her off. as much as she enjoyed the banter, she had enough awareness not to tease any further.

"you know what," instead, she disconnected her headphones before handing her phone to the guy. "if my music is so annoying to you, show me something better."

kyung jun frowned, but a small smile graced his face, betraying his attempt at indifference.

and so he accepted her offer, for the second time that day.

minutes went by with surface-level conversation and recommended songs. it was a pleasant distraction for him, at least enough to make him miss the way his pulse merged with the beats of the tunes. they enjoyed their time together until the faint sound of wheels appeared in the distance. turning off the music, the pretty girl stood up in front of him.

oh right, the bus.

for a second, he forgot where they were.

"well, that's my ride" she announced, just seconds before said ride stopped before them.

for a second, time seemed to freeze.

the girl said something else, but whatever it was fell on deaf ears. it felt like his senses were failing him all of a sudden.kyung jun sat there, helpless and paralyzed, as he watched her walk away. a chill ran down his spine, causing goosebumps to break out all over his body. his mind was screaming at him to do something, anything, to make her stay just a little bit longer. he wanted to ask for her name, to strike up more conversation, to find out who she was and where she was going. but he couldn't bring himself to move. all he could do was see her disappear, without time to wonder what might have been.

when he came to his senses the bus was out of sight, and the empty spot on the bench felt heavier than ever.

kyung jun looked at the sky. there was not a single ray of sun to be seen, but at least the rain had finally stopped. he leaned back and just as his hands came to rest in his pockets he touched something cold. he took it out, eyes falling on a lighter. her lighter.

he could feel the beat of his heart against his ribcage. why? where did all this adrenaline come from? since when has he become so soft as to let such a flimsy little thing make his head spin and his face fire up?

"fuck", he cursed to the skies.

as the days went by, his intense but short-lived experience with that stranger remained fresh in the back of his mind. no matter how many times he tried to blur her face she was like a ghost that reappeared every time he looked away, a fading memory he couldn't fully forget. 

at the back of the school's building kyung jun took the last puff of his cigarette just when the bell announced the start of classes. he dropped what was left of it on the floor at the same time his two companions dropped the innocent student they had been tormenting. they walked together to their classroom with the same enthusiasm as a kid who received a pair of socks for christmas and sat in the back row. 

"good morning, class", the teacher greeted as she stood in front of the students, who immediately saluted back.

kyung jun rolled his eyes and laid down on his desk with no thought other than finding the perfect position for the three-hour nap he was about to take until his next break, wondering if his dreams would finally be undisturbed by images of the one he couldn't fail to recall again and again. 

"alright," the teacher clasped her hands to get the class' attention. "before starting our lesson, i'm pleased to inform you that we have a new student coming in today and i hope you'll help them accommodate to the school."

already starting to doze off, kyung jun's eyes remained closed even after someone knocked on the door and the tutor welcomed them in. "welcome, please come in and introduce yourself."

"hello everyone, my name is yoon yn. i hope we get along well."

what the...?

his eyes shot open. 

there's no way. no fucking way.

he saw the new student politely bowing at the front of the room like she wasn't the same that had been living in his mind rent free day, night, and day again. 

"thank you. please, take a sit."

she walked like in slow motion towards the back of the room and, for a split second, their eyes met. the idea that he must've already fallen into a deep slumber invaded him when she sent him a subtle smile before sitting just a few sits away from him.

the teacher regathered the attention of the room and started her lesson. needless to say, his plan of breezing through the school day with a nap got ruined.

hours passed insanely slow until the bell rang through the speakers and announced a much-needed break. 

having pulled up two chairs by his side, jin-ha was cracking up at something on seung-bin's phone. whatever it was, kyung jun couldn't care less. his eyes were set on the crowd surrounding the new girl as his classmates smothered her with questions and compliments.

"are you new in town, yn?"

"what school did you use to go to?"

"were you in any clubs?"

"well–", yn tries to answer in between the frenzy.

"O-M-G, you should join our cheerleading group!" interrupted mi-na.

"im not interested in any clubs, thank you" yn declined with a smile.

"oh, of course." said so-mi, "someone like you was probably on the student council, right? you can always help me and jun-hee with-"

"i'll pass. thank you, so-mi."

"woaah, the class president got rejected!" heo yool pointed out and the small crowd joined in the teasing.

in the chaos of it all, she managed to find him staring. the moment was brief, yet enough for kyung jun's heart to skip a beat. 

"you know her?" 

"huh?"

"do you know her?", jin ha repeated. "the new girl."

kyung jun hesitated but shook his head, "no, i don't."

"could it be?", seung bin dramatised. "does ko kyung jun have a crush?" 

his friends patted his back, mocking him, and giggled in unison. 

"shut up," kyung jun sighed and leaned back on his chair closing his eyes with his arms crossed, trusting they'd get the hint that his temper was better off not tested.

"he didn't say no," seung bin whispered, gaining a repressed chuckle from jin ha.

boring lessons and occasional glances between the delinquent and the new student continued throughout the day until finally the moment to get out that hellhole arrived. 

by the time kyung jun had his bag over one shoulder and ready to go the class was almost empty. yoon yn was putting away her stuff without any rush as if she wasn't the only one left in the classroom.

"hey, kyung jun!" seung bin shouted from the door. "you coming or not?"

"nah," he answered without turning his eyes away from the girl. "i'll see you tomorrow."

with a shrug, seung bin left the room with jin ha following after him, not before exchanging a knowing look.

"move, nerd!" was the last thing heard from the two vandals out on the hall before they left. 

kyung jun approached yn with the same caution you do a stray cat in fear it'll run away and with each step, his pulse accelerated. as the girl cleaned up her belongings, he leaned on the desk next to hers wth his hands inside his trousers' pockets.

"the uniform doesn't suit you, you know?"

she turned to him–smirking–their eyes met and, for the first time today, neither looked away.

"i could say the same for you", yn crossed her arms.

"i'd say it's better than wet clothes.", he shrugged.

"please," the girl rolled her eyes, "it was just a little rain."

"a little rain?", kyung jun repeated. "you were literally running with your bag on your head."

"you were watching me?", yn put a hand over her chest and furrowed her brows, yet her smug smile remained. "you weirdo."

"look who's talking, you fucking stalker."

"excuse me? why the fuck would i stalk you?", she pointed at him.

"you tell me," he teased, lifting his hands. "you're the one in my school."

kyung jun kept staring at yn waiting for another one of her snarky comments but instead she tightly closed her lips together.

"what?" he provoked.

unable to hold back any longer, she let out a peal of laughter which made kyung jun's eyes widen as much as his own smile. he couldn't help it, her laugh was contagious and the situation was amusing. randomly meeting someone and obsessing over them to later find out they just enrolled in the same school as you is something you would only see in movies; or fanfiction.

yet here they were.

"nothing", yn smiled, finally gathering her stuff and putting her backpack over her shoulder, ready to leave.

leave?

flashes of the day he thought he'd never see her again flooded kyung jun's mind. he couldn't bear it. to someone else, this might seem extreme; desperate. now that they were classmates he'd most likely see her every day, so why even panic in the first place? but maybe, just maybe, he was desperate. to him, seeing her leave felt devastating. like a reminder of the day his whole body failed to even ask her name. but if the universe saw it necessary for them to meet again, that meant he wasn't supposed to let her go, right?

kyung jun clumsily opened his backpack and took out the trinket he'd been carrying around since that rainy day, handing it to her.

yn stared at him with her eyebrows wrinkled.

"here", the guy insisted, slightly shoving the lighter toward her.

"why?"

"'fuck you mean why? it's yours."

"i told you to keep it. you didn't hear me?"

"oh," he felt what seemed like a heatwave run through his neck and ears. "i guess not."

"all that shit you gave me about my loud music and look at you." she mocked.

the guy lowered his head. he would have run away right then and there to avoid any more embarrassment if it wasn't for the little pride he still had.

"hey, uh..." she paused. "sorry, what's your name?"

all this time and he still hadn't introduced himself? fuck, he really couldn't do anything right, huh? 

"ko kyung jun."

"right. so, kyung jun, since it's such a nice day out i was wondering if you'd be free to show me around?" 

like on queue, sunshine started squeezing through the window’s blinds.

he wasn't sure if it really was the world roaring at him to see the signs or if she just happened to take pity on him, but whatever it was he felt relieved, and his anxiety washed away the moment he lifted his head to look at the girl with her arm extended.

this was it, wasn't it? the opportunity he keept missing? 

how many times will she have to reach out until you take the chance, dumbass?, screamed the universe.

"sure", kyung jun uttered. "i can do that."

she offered her hand, and for the final time, he accepted.

🏷️ @flaneurpastel - @jwijii - @watamotee33

© to @divineei on tumblr; do not repost or steal

[hees-mine]

𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 - 𝐋.𝐡𝐬 𝐩𝐭. 𝟖

Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader

Warning: smut, unprotected sex, sir kink, crying, angst, taboo relationship, angst, fluff.

Genre: 18+, best friends dad, smut, single dad, taboo relationship, minors do not interact!

WC: 3,186k

Decided to make a longer chapter also kinda wanted to add a daddy kink but would that be weird? I feel like it would :/ lmk also I think there will only be one or two chaps left after this one

⟱⟱⟱

It took every last ounce of strength to pull yourself out of bed after heeseung came into the guest bedroom. All you wanted to do was lay there in his arms, wake up to his pretty eyes staring at your own, but you couldn't, and you knew that, so with a heavy heart, you moved his arm that was draped over your body and snuck out quietly, leaving him all alone.

You went on about your day or tried to, but the image of him crawling into your bed last night and hugging you was still fresh in your mind.

You remembered what he said about not caring anymore if you both got caught, but he was drunk. Surely, he wouldn't say that sober. You convinced yourself of that and erased the thought from your mind completely.

Even though you did your best to try and ignore him, it didn't work, or maybe it would have worked if he didn't personally ask to speak with you when it got late and his daughter went to bed.

You know you shouldn't have, but your body dragged itself to his bedroom on its own. You knocked softly before entering. "Come in," you hear his voice through the door, and you have to take a deep breath before opening the door. You hated how the first thing you thought about was how handsome he looked in a plain black tank top and gray sweats.

"Y-you wanted to talk." You closed the door and stood awkwardly, staring down at your feet.

He nods even though you aren't looking at him. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for last night. I don't know what came over me; I was drunk, and I probably did and said things I shouldn't have," he admits.

"I figured." You lifted your head, finally looking at him and chuckling softly.

He smiled slightly, feeling a little less tense around you after he saw your little smile. "That being said, there is one thing that I truly meant, drunk or not." Your eyes widened a bit as your mind raced with thoughts of what exactly he could be talking about. "Look, y/n." he stood up, taking slow steps to your figure that was pressed against his door. "I love you, okay? You know that." He grabbed your hands, lacing your fingers with his. "And I don't know how this is going to work, but I need you. I know it's wrong, but I just can't let you go. I tried, but I can't." You looked up at him as he stared into your eyes, not even blinking once, showing his sincerity.

"Hee, we can-"

"Stop saying that we can't, princess" he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "If you want me too, we can," he whispers, tightening his hold on your tiny hands.

"What about your daughter, hee? There's just so many things that could go wrong. I could ruin your relationship with her, and I could also ruin our relationship. We've been friends for so long, and I just don't kno."

"Baby, I know, I know." he closed his eyes, resting his forehead on yours and cupping your cheeks. "We have to make it work, we have to," he whispers. "Since the day I saw you, you gave me butterflies, and baby, I tried so hard to control myself around you, but it was impossible, and now I just can't see myself living a life without you in it."

"Oh hee," you laughed softly and lifted your palm to his cheeks, rubbing it softly. "W-"

You paused as you heard his daughter's doorsteps coming down the hallway.

You and Heeseung quickly parted from each other, hearts racing in your chests.

Your eyes grew wide, and before you knew it, she was poking her head inside the door. "Dad?" She says, still half asleep.

"Hey, sweetpea, what's wrong?" He asks her while you take a few more discreet steps away from him.

"Nothing, I just thought I heard some sounds from your room," she mumbles.

"O-oh yeah, y/n was just uhh wondering if I had some extra toothpaste," he lies not so smoothly and smiles to distract her from the fact that he just lied to her face. You were definitely not looking for toothpaste.

She nods her head, shuffling back to her room and you. Both release a sigh of relief.

"That was close." Heeseung stood there, breath heavy and heart racing cause you both almost got caught.

"See? It'll never work," you reasoned, trying to calm down.

"Then let's just tell her y/n I need-"

"N-no hee, you think you need me, but you don't. Please, let's just end this." You backed away from him.

"Y/n, please," he hugged you in his arms. "Let's just try"

"No." Ever since you ended whatever you and him had, it seemed neither of you could be on the same page. One night, you wanted him, and the next night, you were screwing your head in straight and saying no.

Same for him. One night, he was telling you to leave his room, and the next, he's wrapped into your arms, and it's clear to see how much you were both fighting, but it had to be done because it could potentially ruin everything.

You pushed his arms off, and he stood there, obviously hurt, but you couldn't. You just couldn't. "Hee, you'll be fine without me. Maybe go on more dates. What about your co-worker? You have options, hee, just don't waste your time on me." Tears were welling in your eyes as you slowly walked to the door, him automatically following after you.

"I don't want anybody else, though." his eyes softened once he saw the tears in your eyes. "What don't you understand? I don't want to date my co-worker; I don't want to date, period, unless it's you. When I was with her, nothing felt the way it did when I was with you," he cupped your face, stroking your cheek softly. "Please believe me, don't you want more? Don't you want us to be happy together? We deserve each other, and you can't say otherwise cause I know you love me."

"I won't say it again, hee." You backed away from his touch as hard as it was you had to.

"Y/n, you're killing me," he whispers, and with that, you shut the door, leaving him before you stupidly run into his arms again, just like all the other times.

-

While sometimes it seemed like you and Heeseung were getting somewhere, you ultimately weren't, and you hoped now you were both seeing eye to eye.

Understanding that you and him would never work out.

It was back to the both of you ignoring each other, not even sharing glances anymore, and you could tell it was so hard for him. He looked completely defeated. His eyes were sunken in. He started locking himself in his office again, and you barely saw him. The look on his face when you first walked in almost brought tears to your eyes, but you kept telling yourself it was better this way. Even though your relationship with his daughter wasn't the same, it was still better than no relationship at all, you convinced yourself.

Heeseung would beg to differ, though this was affecting not just him but his work performance, his sleeping schedule, and his relationship with his daughter, whom he now barely talked to cause he engrossed himself in work like he always had when life got to be too much for him.

He knows it's unhealthy, but the quiet space and privacy of his office are what gave him some type of peace while everything fell apart. He did the same thing during his divorce, and he could feel himself going down the rabbit hole, only this time he might not make it out.

-

You put on a happy face only so his daughter wouldn't notice anything, but you were dying on the inside. It felt like without him, you would die. It hurt so much not seeing, hearing, or talking to him, but what could you do? Be selfish and start a relationship with him, or be the better person and just understand it was right people's wrong situation.

Heeseung has been avoiding you so much that you don't even see him anymore. It's been weeks since you saw him, and everything just felt so hopeless.

Usually, he'd pop his head out of his office when the coast was clear and grab a snack while you were in the living room, but he didn't do that anymore, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he didn't even live there anymore.

Your friend looked to the side, knocking you from your thoughts and noticing your gloomy state. "What's wrong?" She asked, concerned. You hate the fact that you made her worry with your stupidity.

"Nothing," you put on a fake smile like you've been doing for the past month. "Just a little tired"

"You can sleep in my room," she offers, and it makes it hurt so much more cause she was so considerate, and here you are lying and fucking her dad behind her back.

"I wouldn't want to disturb you. I'll just go home soon," you politely declined.

"Oh, then use the guest room, my dad won't mind," and that was it. You could barely keep it together anymore.

"O-okay, goodnight." You nearly sprinted to the guest room, hearing a quiet goodnight from your friend, and you closed the door, leaning against it to let all your tears fall.

-

Heeseung had come out of his office hoping to catch a peek at you, but you were nowhere in sight. He grabbed some water from the fridge, joining his daughter on the couch. "Y/n leave?" He asks casually, making it sound like he wasn't dying to know your whereabouts.

"No, she was tired, so I let her use the guest room. I hope you don't mind," she pouted slightly, getting ready for a scolding.

"Of course not, sweetpea." he played with her hair and started watching whatever she was watching. "Learning your manners from the best dad ever," he chuckles, and of course, she only scoffs at him and rolls her eyes.

Although he was watching TV, he couldn't focus cause the thought of you being all alone in that room wouldn't leave his mind.

He felt bad for thinking this way, but he couldn't wait til his daughter went to sleep so he could go see you.

Which was only about half an hour later, so if he was lucky, you might still be awake. He peeped through the door, seeing you on your bed on your phone. "Hey," he whispers, and you nearly jump in surprise when you see him at your door.

"What are you doing?" You say, looking panicked as you rose up from bed.

He doesn't answer. Instead, he turns around, locking the door so there won't be any interruptions like last time.

He walks over to you, slipping under your covers and wrapping you in his arms like the other night, only this time he was sober. "What does it look like?" He says, pushing his face against your skin and placing kisses along your neck.

"Hee-"

"I don't want to hear it this time. We love each other, and that's all that matters." he climbs on top of you, pinning your wrist above your head, dipping his head down to kiss you while he circles his hips over your core.

"Mmph," you moan instantly when he kisses you. His soft bulge rutting against your core is already making it really hard for you to say no. "Fuck” you curse, body heating up instantly cause you've wanted this so bad you tried to suppress your urges for him, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't think about you and him in many different compromising positions and to finally feel him again was just feeding all those urges that your body couldn't deny no matter how much you tried to fight it.

"If you don't want to, I'll stop, okay?" He leans back, pausing his movements, making sure he has your full consent.

"Don't stop, hee, please I need you so fucking bad missed you so much," you cry out as he kisses the side of your lips, hips grinding on your front, and you feel his cock getting harder as he humps your clothed cunt.

"Me too," he whispers and trails his hand down, slipping it under your shirt and gripping your supple breast in his right hand. "So soft," he whispers on your lips.

"Ahh hee," you moan, arching up into him for more.

"Yeah?" He breaths out, freeing your other hand. "Arms up." You obediently lift your arms so he can easily peel your shirt off. "So fucking gorgeous," he whines at the sight and quickly attaches his mouth to your perked nipple, kneading the other with his left hand as you tangle your fingers in his silky hair.

Your eyes flutter shut as you squirm under him, whining from the pleasure. "Please take your clothes off."

He doesn't even have to be told twice. He quickly got up, stripping himself entirely for you, and you nearly drooled at the sight of his big cock. You missed, sucking him off and feeling him fucking it into you so bad.

Getting back on the bed, he situates himself above you as you slip your bottoms to your knees. He soon takes over and drags them down to your ankles until they're off finally, and you both share a smile before he lays on top of you, making out with your soft, juicy lips that he loved so much. "What do you want sir to do now?" He whispers in your ear, biting it gently.

"Fuck me please, sir, need your cock in me so bad," he groans from your straightforwardness, and he can tell by the neediness of tone you missed this as much as he did.

"Fuck yeah? Need sir to fill that little hole probably aching for, huh? Begging for my cock? It's been a while. I bet you were just dying to get it right, baby hole, just so wet and needy for sirs dick?" He rubs his tip on your entrance, mixing your precum together and drenching his shaft in the wet stickyness.

"God, yes," you whimper, eyes rolling into your skull as you squeeze around nothing. "Yes, want it, sir. Been so empty without you" You spread your legs wide open, showing him how you clench desperately for his cock and how much you're already dripping for him.

"Don't worry, princess, sirs gonna do you right." he holds your hips, shifting your body as his tip meets your hole. He throws his head back as he ruts forward, his tip getting lost in your creamy wetness. "Oh fuck” he huffs out, chest muscles tensing as your tight walls welcome him in.

"Hmmp fuck” you whine, rotating your hips, trying to get him to put it all the way in.

"Oh god, princess, you feel so fucking good" he looks down as he thrusts forward, watching the way your mouth falls open and your eyes roll back. "Missed this," he breathed out, bending over and kissing your lips as he pushed all the way in your walls, stretching them open just for him.

"Oh hee," You gripped his shoulders, pulling him in as close as possible to kiss him deeply as he thrust in and out, his wide tip brushing on your walls perfectly.

He dug his hands into the sheets, fisting them each time your walls fluttered around his hard cock. "Y/n," he whimpers softly, losing himself in the feeling. It was so intense he was already twitching in need to fill you with his cum.

He tucked his arm under your head, kissing you feverishly as you moved your hands to his waist, strumming his back and sides. "So deep, oh my god fuck yes, yes, yes, yes" Your whines only made him pick up his pace, going faster as he gave you every last inch of his dick til his balls brushed against your ass that was wet with a mixture of your guys precum.

"Princess, I'm already so close," he mewls and hides his face in your neck, feeling bad that he can't make it last longer for you, but your next words take him by surprise.

"Me too" he slips his hand between your bodies, pinching your clit between his fingers rolling softly and then transitioning to a soft rub, the pad of his thumb stroking your clit perfect your toes curl as you bite your lip, body hot and tingling in anticipation, to cum around his thick cock.

"So fucking tight," he groaned, licking your bottom lip as he bucked his hips nonstop, filling up the room with smacking sounds. "I'm going to cum” he says against your lips, and the way you squeeze sends him over the edge, his cum shooting inside you in long hit spurts.

"Cum in me, yes, please, sir, fill me up" His warmth invades your insides, filling you to the absolute brim, and you feel complete with his warm cum and cock buried deep inside you.

"Come on, baby cum on sir's cock. I know you want it. Come on," he encourages as he fondles your clit, and you reach your climax seconds later, he quickly covers your moans with a kiss so you both wouldn't make too much noise.

He steadied his tired hips, thrusting a few more times till your highs faded away.

For at least the next three minutes, you both lay there kissing each other, melting against one another, and you only pull away when you need to breathe, and even then, he pulls you back, not wanting your lips away from him for even a second. "I love you," he says in the kiss, his hot breath fanning your flushed cheeks. "I love you so much." he pecks your lips one last time and cradles you in his arms.

"I love you too." You smile at him, and so does he, not being able to hide his feelings of happiness. "You're so cute." You kissed the tip of his nose, running your fingertips along his sweaty back.

You both lay there satisfied and content, but of course, that nagging feeling makes its way into both of your systems. "Let's just keep it this way. We don't have to let anyone. I promise we won't get caught, and if somehow we do, I'll fix it, okay? I'll make sure we stay together no matter what, yeah? Look at me." You turn to face him, your eyes a little teary, not from sadness but just how much he was willing to go through for you. "I got you, princess," he promises, and there's no way he was going to go back to the way things were last time.

⟱⟱⟱

Thanks for reading please reblog and leave feedback.

[red-write-hand]

Modern!Tommy headcanons

(this could just be my thoughts splat onto a page but have fun! also no beta read we die like tommy's sexuality the moment he saw alfie solomons)

If that man could take his computer to bed with him, he would

He runs on cigarettes and coffee

I feel like he would totally have those machines that are super intricate about making coffee

Usually an apple loyalist but buys add-ons from others (think headphones, charging cables, other Bluetooth items)

Listens to The Neighborhood, Drake, Hozier, Eminem, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Kendrick Lamar, Bastille

Exclusively buys from Boss, started as a joke with his brothers but then he realized he really likes the suits he bought

Owns a bunch of clubs and knows about the best clubs to go to if you want a good time

Likes to eat expensive food but will never turn down Italian take out at horrible hours of the night

Absolutely owns a pair of those Bluetooth Raybans that play music discreetly

Favorite movies are the Tobey Maguire Spidermans, Star Wars (only the New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Revenge of the Sith, and Rise of Skywalker)

Has better figured out his own mental health and sexuality

this👏man👏is👏bisexual👏 (it radiates off him, takes one to know one)

since it is more widely accepted, he feels a little better about it

he absolutely had his first bi panic when he would banter with Freddie

that and EVERY interaction with Alfie

alfie bought him a tiny pride flag which he keeps in his desk, right next to his incredibly expensive alcohol ~x fem!Reader headcanons (m! in part 2)~ warnings: kinda unethical office workplace relationship?

its become a joke of sorts about being tommy's secretary around his family

this all stemmed from him taking an interest in you when you applied

you really were gorgeous to him

you're the only person he is slightly comfortable around besides the Blinders or his own family

the longer you work with him, the more comfortable he gets

after awhile, he (politely, our boy is respectful) asks you to call him Tommy instead of 'Mr. Shelby'

he is one of the most sought after men in the city which makes him very alluring to most

you don't super see it, he's always been very "normal" around, not the silver tongued devil most people knew him as

it wasn't that you didn't like him, you really did, his gorgeous frame, his perfect eyes, his slender fingers, his dark hair, everything was amazing except for the fact that he never really showed any interest in you, to him (you thought), you were his secretary, nothing more

oh how wrong you were

this all changes one late night, him still tirelessly working and you still there making sure that he doesn't stay there all night

it doesn't take much for him to just keep running on fumes so it usually falls upon you to remind him what god awful hour it is

you gently crack open the door and poke your head in

"Hey, Tommy, it's almost 1, pack it up and get some actual sleep."

He rolled his neck and closed his computer, just before packing everything up, he stops

"Cmon 'ere"

It was simple and you knew what could happen if something were to go down but you could find a new job if you had to

The Shelby building was quiet and the only office with any lights on was his

You leaned on the side of his desk and he opens the big drawer at the bottom

He procures the bottle of probably very expensive alcohol and starts pouring you one

"Why do you stay so late? Making sure I go home isn't in your contract."

You thought about it, it had become such a part of your daily cycle

"I guess I've just gotten used to it. Seemed like the right things to do after awhile."

He thanks you quietly and hands your glass of the whiskey he had poured

This was the softest you had ever seen him, you decided to capitalize off of it

"I've never understood it, why are you so comfortable with me Tommy?"

He nods slowly, knowing he would have to explain himself soon

"Polly says I don't 'ave my head straight yet, so my answer won't do you much good."

You, of course, weren't satisfied with that answer so you decided to play a hunch

By this hour of the night, his hair was rather disheveled so you tentatively ran your finger through it, fixing it for him

a small smirk bloomed on your lips when his expression seemed to soften more

This sort of tension was now a pattern for the two of you

The tension got to such a height that after awhile, late at night, he would just pull you into his lap and have his hand wrapped around your waist

You like to run your hands through his hair or trace his jaw with your fingertip

this is just how it is for the two of you and both of you like that <3

[unicyclehippo]

flew for the first time in a very long time, since well before covid started, & oh i missed it so much. first, how remarkable an invention a plane is, how clever, how world changing!! it can seem so normal but actually we are FLYING. i looked down on the clouds that look down on me. the sun rose & everything was brilliantly incandescently white. i stared out the window for the entirety of the admittedly too-short flight & cloud spotted—i saw lions & palaces of cloud & a fleet of dolphins breaking out of the waves. mostly it looked like quilting wadding. i love to fly. i love to people watch, i love to cloud watch, i love the clouds, i love the captains & the cabin crew. when i fly i feel like i will never run out of things to love about humans

a short list of things i loved about the two flights i took:

- special shoutout to the cabin crew, ground crew, they’re incredible. literally all the crew i interacted with had the biggest smiles & were so so friendly & helpful. if ur a crew member out there, i love you. huge shout out to the mid 50s (?) hostess on my first flight—short, super sharply put together in the “im a modern witch” kinda way—who had a quip for almost every comment directed her way. the only one i rmbr was when an elderly passenger called her love she replied “how’d you know my name is love? you must be a psychic!”

- all the passengers i saw were calm & unruffled at the least & sometimes very nice! all around me i could hear people meeting & passing with those small human courtesies repeated & repeated—pardon me, d’you mind if i duck past, hey do you need help with your bag, oh mind their head there, where are you headed, can you get by do you need some room, thank you, thank you, thank you, can i help you, can i help you, can i help you

- special shoutout to the passenger w the crying baby. he was such an upset baby & the only thing that calmed him was being walked up & down the aisle over & over. every time he came down the aisle, i saw heads turn toward him & people smiling their baby smiles—exaggerated, kind, often accompanied by a scrunch of the nose or a tiny wave. ‘he doesn’t sound happy poor thing,’ i heard a lot, or things like it, as his dad bounced him in his arms, & then, invariably, help was offered. ‘my mother swears by this trick‘ — ‘my husband does this to calm our kids” — ‘my wife always does this’. the flight was delayed by nearly fifty minutes. no one was allowed out of their seat as we idled on the tarmac except for this unhappy baby & his dad, walking up & down the aisle.

- special shoutout to my seat buddy, who had a wonderful bright yellow backpack with rainbow straps. i have a matching one & told her so. she said it was a whim, on account of the yellow & rainbow. i told her it’s a very durable bag & one of my favourites. there’s a softening that comes with a compliment, a small comment when we meet—it’s an invitation from then on to say whatever little something pops into our heads. are you listening to music? what book are you reading - oh it’s a library book! good on you mate! we gotta use them more. do you know how to get the headphones working—ooh i figured it out. mind if i use your charger, mines not working. hey the refreshments are headed this way did you want anything? are you headed home? my family is in the row in front & she smiles every time they twist uncomfortably to chat through the gaps in the seats. later, as we are waiting to disembark, she confesses she was on the flight before but it was cancelled . you mean i could’ve had more space, i teased. she laughed, apologises. i could have had far worse company…but not by much, i teased a little more, & she laughed harder. get home safe, we say to each other—i don’t know her name, she knows mine just because my mother whispered it through the seats (are you too hot back there? do you have enough leg room? i can’t move the seat but - oh your sister wants me to recline my seat onto you, im going to squish you!). get home safe, i hear echoed by ten more people to their seat buddies as i hurry off the plane. the last is from a smiling crew member (refer back to my first point. i love you crew members).

- a turbaned man held his baby up at the huge windows looking out to the planes. she clung to him for a minute then tried to dive out of his arms, her own spread wide like the wings of a plane, laughing.

- the women having dinner in the food court as we waited for our plane. i was facing away from them & somewhat half heartedly eavesdropping but every now & again they said something so familiar that it may as well have been my own sisters sitting behind me. ‘—don’t hate her but some of the things she says-‘ ‘i know, i know. can she even hear herself? it’s like. so self-centred.’ ‘and she THINKS she’s being the nice one or she wants us to think it? i don’t even KNOW anymore. like, either she’s so conceited she thinks we love everything she does or she knows she’s behaved badly & is enjoying, i don’t know, us not knowing what to say?’ ‘i KNOW. and, like, we have to be honest,’ ‘absolutely,’ ‘but at the same time it’s like. she should know.’ ‘she should KNOW.’ ‘but she doesn’t or she’s pretending not to and im so done.’ i don’t know who you ladies were, i never saw your faces, i wish you all the best with your friend.

- the Intensely Cheerful & Organised Mother who was my seat buddy on flight 1. you were corralling three teen daughters &, from the glimpses of your notebook i caught, were studying for a test on medicine or maybe nursing. i know you were all on your way to see taylor & you were Determined that it was going to be the perfect trip. i have never seen someone work so hard at getting their luggage to fit in the overhead compartments but you managed to find a space for all of it & i applaud you now

i know there’s more but im for bed. basically i love to fly & im so happy to have done it again

[raapija]

I'm curious (read invested) do you have a time line in mind for the strollonso au? Like when they met, got engaged, got married

In my pookie au, which I set most of my edits into, it goes something like this.... THIS IS GONNA BE LONG OH LORD, I have a whole thing formulated in my brain and writing is down is gonna be a struggle

2014-2015 They met for the first time very briefly as Fernando was visiting the Ferrari Academy drivers at Prema. Note that Lance is a massive Fernando fan since he was a kid, so this was like meeting his hero. Nando immediately forgot about this meeting as it was just a promotional thing, very sad :(

2017 Lance debuts in F1 at Williams, he's about 19yo and still a massive Nando fan but they rarely interact with each other (see, 'shy canadian rookie'). Sure, they talk every now and then, but no sparks yet...

2018 This is where it starts to get interesting. Nando is struggling (and when I say struggling I mean STRUGGLING) at McLaren and his interest starts to waver which leads to his little fixation on Lance. It started out pretty tame and harmless with Nando writing little notes/letters to him and hiding them around the Williams garage (no one knows how he did it without getting caught) and Lance's belongings. He gets more invested in this than driving the McLaren GP2 engine shitbox.

Eventually Nando gathers up enough courage to ask the 20 year old man out. To his absolute horror and shock, the kid says "yeah, sure" and that's how they began dating. For the remainder of 2018, they keep it strictly to themselves, not telling anyone in case their relationship gets leaked. Lots of hotel room slumber parties, discreet dinner dates and traveling in the same planes between races.

Fun little side story I got is that in 2018, Lance, Fernando and Lando took part as team LANCELANDONANDO (hilarious, I know) in the 24h of Daytona ✨ They finished like... 50th, but it was a big deal since Lando was a tiny little baby boy and Nando was a bit of a mentor to him. (see, 'nando never got kids of his own but really wants to be a father figure)

2019-2020 Nando decides to "retire" from F1 after losing all his ambition to drive because of McLaren draining the life force out of him. Now that Nando isn't in F1, they can make their relationship public since the conflict of interest is no longer an issue.

2019 is a rather dark time for Lance, as the media rips him to shreds for 1) dating a man, 2) being almost 20 years younger AND 3) the person he's dating just happens to be Fernando Alonso. He's called every name under the sun, constantly ridiculed and the fans pretty much turn against him. He tries to avoid all the drama by becoming more closed in and even more shy around people.

Fernando, on the other hand, is off doing indy and endurance racing. He's pretty outspoken about their relationship and does his best to gain respect for Lance, always praising him and telling nice things about him. This starts to work after a while as the media starts to forget about the whole thing.

Nando would visit the F1 grid from time to time and Lance would be at his indy races. Eventually it became normal to see them together and act like a couple and the fans started to support them, so the media did a complete 180°. Now it was a race to get the best Strollonso story in the papers...

During this time also, Lance starts to visit Fernando's karting school a lot more and after a while becomes a key part in its operation. He would volunteer as a race director for the kids' tournaments, pop in as a guest coach or just help around with whatever they were doing. He would become a bit of a celebrity in that community of young drivers and really like spending time there.

2021 Surprise! Fernando gets bored of the other stuff and unretires himself to come back into F1 with Alpine! Before this Lance, Nando, Alpine and Aston Martin have a proper sit-down with FIA to figure out how they can allow Nando back in without the risk of sharing team secrets. A couple rule changes, some NDA's and contracts later, it's settled and F1 gets its most popular Spaniard (sorry Carlos) back on track. Everyone celebrates!

Turns out Nando is on a revenge mission this time. All that pent up McLaren resentment is poured right into Alpine and he becomes the villain of F1, which the fans kinda like. Outside the track, he and Lance live their best comfy life, getting a couple houses together, traveling and expanding their family with a doggy, Nyla! 🥰

2022 Alpine is in shambles. Estie Bestie is threatening to strangle his best friend's boyfriend on a daily basis. Lance suggests, just as a joke, that Fernando should come to Aston as he knew Sebastian was about to retire and they hadn't found a replacement for next season. Fernando doesn't take it as a joke. So, Nando calls up Lance's dad and he agrees immediately to take the Spaniard in.

Fast forward to the end of the season, Alpine gets a couple more big L's, and finally Nando can leave that sinking ship to walk right into Aston Martin's motorhome as soon as he drops out the last race. Fans rejoice, as Strollonso is now in the same team, media is fired up from the potential content and FIA can have a breather now that company secrets are no longer at risk.

2023 Working in the same team turns out to be the best choice they ever made. The team spirit is at an all time high, everyone is enjoying working together and the fans absolutely love them. Nando's tiktok influencer career also helps tremendously and people follow their social medias like it's Friends in 1996.

Nando decides before the summer break that it's now or never and proposes to Lance. To his absolute horror and shock, the 25 year old says "yeah, sure" and they get engaged. Everyone expects a big and glamorous wedding, but turns out they have a small civil ceremony during the break with just family and close friends, away from the limelight. It's a cute and intimate wedding party in Tuscany that only gets out as Lance posts a few pictures from it. Fans rejoice once again! Future's looking all bright and rosy for them <3 And speaking of rosy... They got another fur child! Rósa was Lance's 25th birthday present 🥰

2024.... We'll see ✨

[the-gateway-to-madness]

Platonic dynamics I want to see more in the (tiny) Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons fandom:

Jack being like an older brother to Hiccup and sort of seeing an older version of Jamie in him and not scoffing at how nerdy he is ("holy crap you MADE this? Man show me how it works!!")

Rapunzel post-her-movie being all gung-ho and cheery, and Merida trying to get her to stop being so naïve, only for Rapunzel to calmly list all the ways she was betrayed and abused throughout her adventures (and you'd only have to go through the canon events of the movie and show to make this work, btw, girl's been through STUFF) and tells Merida she is upbeat and kind because she chooses to believe that most people are good, because so many people stuck with her through so much and so many people came back to her after betraying her. And Merida is like "well dang ok, wanna learn to shoot a bow"

Jack being calm, responsible, and protective of the others without becoming too angsty in the process- playing harmless little pranks to bring everyone's spirits up, that sort of thing

Merida being annoyed by Jack at first, but it's because she misses her brothers, not because she categorically dislikes the pranks. She tells Jack this and he asks her to join him doing pranks. She has much more fun after this.

Rapunzel is good at many things, but not so much inventing, as we see in TTS; her trying to assist Hiccup and him being good-natured about it but entirely accidentally outclassing her

Jack very deliberately keeping his past and loneliness to himself, and the others figuring out something's off because they never catch him sleeping, he's pensive when he's not interacting with them, he's got such wide and extensive experience, and he starts admitting bits and pieces like "I'm older than I look" etc etc

Jack never openly getting angry with the kids because they're kids and he's a Guardian, so instead when one of them is upset or trying to pick a fight with him, his staff will glow brighter or it'll get cloudier or windier or snowier- his magic responds, but Jack refuses to, making his calm all the more scary.

Jack being the first to realize Rapunzel has been through Stuff and sitting down with her when the other two are asleep "what happened to you?" entirely gently and patiently because HE'S A GOOD BIG BROTHER DANGIT I WANT THIS SIDE OF HIM TO SHOW MORE-

Hiccup worrying/getting upset/doing that I Have To Stand Alone thing and Rapunzel approaching him like "you're not the only one who grew up alone, you know. It's okay to rely on us, we won't let you down"

Hiccup doing the I Have To Stand Alone thing in general cause I don't see that a lot in crossovers or at least the arts

The others finding Jack in weird places because super-balance go brr

Jack being reluctant to touch any of the kids for any reason because he doesn't want to see the way they treat him change once they realize how cold and inhuman he really is

Merida recognizing Jack immediately as the only other obviously competent fighter by the way he moves (she was raised around all manner of warriors and guards, after all) and immediately setting about allying herself with him because Heaven knows they all need as much protection as they can get

Merida helping Hiccup to have a moment like he has in the HTTYD books where he realizes he's actually a really amazing swordfighter when he actually uses his dominant hand

Hiccup and Rapunzel asking Merida and Jack what siblings are like

Jack just treating them all like his little siblings

Jack and Merida gathering ingredients together and, depending on the region, Jack teaching Merida the safe local vegetation and herbs because he's been everywhere. Also, Jack teaching the others how to cook with local ingredients

Jack knowing a lot about herbal medicine and helping and teaching the others

After much internal deliberation, Jack choosing Hiccup to hold his staff while he takes care of two-handed tasks

Jack knowing how to style hair because of Mary, and he and Merida helping Rapunzel tame her hair

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

Billy can be difficult to read at times. If he isn’t actively hiding his emotions altogether, he usually reads as angry no matter the mood he’s in.

This makes it difficult to interact with him.

Unless you’re Steve.

There are very tiny details that signal what kind of pissed off Billy is at any given time — sad pissed or mad pissed.

After watching him huff and mope around the kitchen with his arms crossed, Steve determines easily that it’s the former. While this means that the issue is likely more difficult to resolve, he’s glad that his lover isn’t angry.

Last time they argued in front of company, things… escalated.

Steve realistically knows that he’s never in danger. That Billy just has big emotions and doesn’t know how to express them in healthy, communicative ways sometimes.

The kids, however, see him getting red in the face and raising his voice and think that all hell is about to break loose.

The drama of it all gives Steve a headache just thinking about it.

He pads into the kitchen just in time to find Billy solemnly closing the pantry for the umpteenth time, and fixes the blond with a soft smile.

“Hey, Stevie,” Billy sighs.

He crosses his arms and leans against the pantry door, eyes downcast as the brunet steps closer.

“Hey,” Steve coos. “What’re you over here being all bummy about, huh?”

Billy shrugs halfheartedly, brows drawing together, and the little conversation going on around the kitchen table stops.

Dustin and Mike had been discussing character concepts for their next campaign, the tabletop spread with notes and drawings and books for references.

All of that gets put on pause for a moment.

Steve keeps his focus on Billy.

“Brain stuff again?” Steve asks, voice quiet. When Billy nods after a brief moment of hesitation, he cocks his head to the side. “What spots are you feeling sad about, tubs?”

Billy huffs a laugh at the nickname, but frowns as he looks down. Just below his crossed arms, there’s the gentle pooch of his stomach. Steve follows his gaze and smiles at the sight. Moves closer and sets one of his hands on Billy’s waist, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

“Go figure it’s something that I like,” Steve muses.

“Fuck off.”

Billy’s face flushes red, and he tenses up when Steve’s touches move closer and closer to his softened abdomen.

“You’re such a hater,” Steve murmurs. He presses closer, shuffling Billy up against the pantry door with both hands on his waist as he leans into his neck. “Always disliking my favorite things.”

The blond uncrosses his arms and secures his hands on Steve’s shoulders. Doesn’t pull or push, just rests his hands there while Steve ghosts kisses over the corner of his jaw.

It doesn’t take much to smooth out the hard edges.

After all, Billy is, at his core, melted sugar. Warm honey dissolving at the bottom of a teacup. Everything soft and sweet and all too easy to overindulge on.

Steve sneaks a hand around his back, presses him away from the pantry and into an all-encompassing hug. It has Billy sighing softly once he’s wrapped up, his own arms lacing around Steve after a beat.

“I mean it when I say I like it, y’know.” Steve gives his partner a reassuring squeeze. “I know that doesn’t change how you feel about it, but I’m here to help however I can, baby. All you gotta do is ask.”

Billy holds his breath for a moment before he hides his face in Steve’s shoulder.

“I know,” he whispers.

“Mm, did you want a snack?”

“Yeah…”

“Would it be easier if I had one with you?”

After a brief silence, Billy nods. Steve gives him one last, firm squeeze before he pulls away and offers a gentle smile when he notices how glassy and red-rimmed his lover’s eyes look.

Together, they have a snack cake of Billy’s choice, and the blond’s demeanor changes almost immediately after he takes the first bite. Steve smooths a loving hand over his upper back before he ropes him into his side, which earns a little smile in return.

At the table, Dustin and Mike have returned to chatting about their concepts. No longer bothered by the display in the kitchen.

Even if no one else can read Billy, Steve’s just glad that the element of fear is withering away.

One day at a time.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Iphicles (Male!Reader x Percy Jackson PLATONIC)

Big brother!reader x Percy Jackson PLATIONIC Just headcanons of him protecting and helping and just genuinely being a good brother please 🥹

tw angst, mentions of emotional and physical domestic abuse, injury

NOTE: I was thinking of making this a series and continuing it through to Last Olympian. This one doesn't have as much Percy x big brother interaction, but think of it as a setup. Let me know if you want more!

Did you know Heracles had a brother?

While Heracles was the son of Zeus and Alcmene, Alcmene had a husband already - Amphitryon, a mortal man. So there were two babies in the crib - the child of a god and the child of a mortal.

This child was named Iphicles. And while he was never as strong as his brother, he was a powerful warrior in his own right, and accompanied his brother on his quest.

You think about this myth a lot.

You're about four when you meet Poseidon. He went by Yuri then, and it was only later you found out it was short for one of his other names, Eurykreion, which meant wide-ruling.

Yuri loves your mom, you know that. But it's hard, that year, when they get close, and you start to get attached to this guy who might be a father figure to you, and he vanishes.

Leaving your mom pregnant, and you with nothing.

Nothing but a brother with a weird name.

You're ten when Mom meets Gabe. Gabe seems kinda cool at first. He lets you ride in the front seat of his Camaro when he takes you to school, teaches you how to open his beer bottles on the corner of a table (oh what a red flag that turned out to be), and he takes an interest in you, when most of your life since Percy has been about the really weird stuff that starts to happen around him.

You remember screaming when you saw that snake in Percy's crib.

You're pretty sure that that lady who tried to take Percy from his stroller wasn't just wearing a funky coat, and actually had wings.

Or that bus driver with the one eye.

Mom freaks out you bring home a book about Greek myths from the library. She bans you from showing it to Percy.

And that's when it kinda clicks. These monsters you read about... they're part of the world, but they fit in differently. They're not robbers on the dangerous roads between Athens and Thebes, they're mattress salesmen and reclusive sculptors, and kindly old women on the bus, and teachers that constantly demean your little brother for his dyslexia.

Like, you're ten, and MOM can barely even say dyslexia, so how could your six year old little brother figure it out?

And then Gabe shows his true colors. All the little warning signs that could be forgiven from a nice guy start to balloon to almost comic proportions.

You've been a good big brother to Percy. Yeah, it's your job to take care of him, but you love him too. He's tiny and adorable and afraid of everything, and you just wanna show him that things can be good. Like the blue food your mom makes, or the little moments you can make for him that aren't weird or worrying.

But then Gabe tears your little brother away. Percy gets sent off to boarding school after boarding school. For six long years, the only time you see your brother is during the summer, or when he gets expelled.

Part of you wonders if he feels that same sibling bond, if he wants to leave his fancy schools to get back to you.

Gabe's a shit. Way more when the little kid isn't around, and as you get older, he gets bolder, more willing to get nasty the less you look like a baby.

You try not to get bitter, but it sucks so much, living like this. Your mom works soul-crushing hours at that candy store, and her mean boss says you can't just hang out there after school anymore cause you'll distract her.

You wander New York as long as you can after school rather than be alone with Gabe.

And the one time you tried to talk to a counselor at school, she perked up oddly and mentioned your little brother Perseus (how did she even know?) and her eyes changed color and you ran as fast as you could.

You feel angry at the world. At Gabe. At your mother, for letting your brother get sent away, for doing nothing when Gabe yelled at you for no reason, for all the little things, and at yourself for blaming her, for being powerless yourself, for barely recognizing Percy when he gets home, for almost hoping he gets expelled soon so he can reunite with you sooner.

You've had suspicions since you were nine. You turn sixteen and you scream at the Harlem River, daring Poseidon to fight you.

And for any other mortal, he wouldn't show up, but a hand lands on your shoulder and you turn to punch Yuri in the gut.

Your hand breaks, but he pulls a starfish out of his pocket and plasters it over your hand and you can feel the bones mending, and you both sit and talk.

The gods are real.

And they suck.

Your mom refused his offer of a palace under the sea, and you can't decide whether to hate her for it or hate Poseidon for dating your mom when he's already married and he knew he couldn't stay.

He's never been there for Percy. Never been there for your mom. Never been there for you.

Gabe hits her, does he know that? How long until he starts hitting you? Hitting Percy?

How long before the dwindling light goes out?

You hate him so much, you growl, but he hugs you and all the fight leaves, like the tide finally setting back out.

You are not his son, but in that moment you are of the sea, and he understands you.

You are the son of Sally Jackson, the brother of Perseus, and you will be the Earthshaker where the Earthshaker himself cannot tread.

It doesn't change anything, but when Poseidon finally says it, finally says "I am sorry," it moves you. There is someone out there that can see and acknowledge your suffering. Poseidon has lost countless children, was eaten by his own father, betrayed by his brothers. He has witnessed the entire breadth of humanity, and yet in this moment, a god apologizes for the woes of a mortal.

You are sixteen when you meet a god.

He will not be the last.

Poseidon kisses your forehead, drenching you in seafoam as he vanishes, and you feel reborn.

You are worn smooth by waves, hardened by salty brine, and you bide your time, even bringing yourself to smile at Gabe when you get home. You make the bean dip so Mom can rest when she gets home, and you smirk when Gabe is visibly shaken by your confidence.

You wait, because like Poseidon said, Percy is getting older, and things may come to pass. He will need a guardian, a guide.

There is a place for children of the gods, like him.

Camp Half-Blood.

[jben073]

Grace Chasity headcanon rambles!

Some silly Grace hcs for @nighthaterfrfr!! I tried to mostly avoid any of mine that you mentioned something similar to in yours bc we had a good deal of overlap! :D

(Just to preface, one of my biggest headcanons is that Grace is autistic so there’s a good chance that some of these may be influenced by that! I did try to pick ones that are more applicable to canon though! [But if anyone wants any of those, I have about a million :3])

When Grace was a young child in elementary school (or Sunday school), she very innocently kissed Alice Woodward and felt something™. (She entirely represses this memory for YEARS.)

^ During her eventual sexuality crisis, despite not having talked to Alice for years outside of polite conversation if they ran into one another, Grace reaches out to her for support/to ask questions because she was the only out queer person that Grace knew and trusted enough not to out her. (Alice big sister mode activated.) 

^ (They’re so silly, they’ve literally never interacted outside of a throwaway line about them knowing and possibly disliking each other but to me they're friends who fell apart and eventually find each other again when they're both more grown as people.)

^ Also, ignore me indulging my other biggest hc which is that Grace is a lesbian.

Grace took piano lessons as a child and is actually quite good because she wanted to be the pianist for her church’s masses when she got older! She stopped taking lessons in high school, but she keeps up with playing in her free time to maintain the skill and occasionally help out with music at her church.

^ Richie constantly tries to convince her to learn anime openings and music from games that he plays for him (he begged her to learn Megalovania for weeks until she finally gave in).

She has never celebrated Halloween because her parents think it’s satanic so Ruth and Richie (who definitely still go trick-or-treating in high school) make a point to bring her some of their candy on the following school day.

^ She definitely doesn’t cry about this gesture later when she goes home!!

She is an absolute monster while playing board games, like she gets REALLY aggressive about them.

^ (definitely influenced by Angela's chaos on smosh games, especially the “be a little more gentle!! >:(” clip)

She can’t go to sleep (intentionally) without getting a kiss goodnight. At home, her parents kiss her on the forehead before bed and if she’s at camp, she has to get a kiss on the head from Girl Jeri if she wants to sleep well.

^ It disrupts her routine which makes it harder for her to wind down!!

^ I like to think that before the events of Abstinence Camp, she thought of Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri as older sibling figures.

She has never been to a sleepover because she’s never had good enough friends to be invited to one :(

^ The nerds + Steph very quickly remedy this!!

^ (quick ramble related to the last hc) During the first group sleepover, Steph wakes up in the middle of the night to get a drink, realizes Grace is still up, and after Grace sheepishly admits her dilemma following Steph’s prompting for an explanation, Steph very casually plants a kiss on her forehead and then goes back to sleep. Grace’s face is beet red after this and now she can’t sleep for an entirely different reason.

^ They're in love to me!!!

LIB related

(Based almost entirely on Blinky’s line about watching Grace and the nightmare about Max/Richie that implies she has the gift.) 

^ Grace has been connected to the Lords in Black since long before we see her, Steph, and Pete summon them in NPMD.

^ Much like Lex was friends with Webby as a child and forgot, Grace was friends with the LIB when she was young but grew out of it.

^ (I have a whole little overanalysis/hc set of things for this hc if anyone wants to hear :3)

After she starts using the Black Book, her appearance starts to very slightly change so that she always looks just a tiny bit off.

^ Her teeth are just a touch too sharp, her ears have the slightest point to them, and her eyes almost seem to shift in colour (depending on which LIB is influencing her).

^ But hey, it must just be a trick of the light!! She's so normal!! Dw about it!!!

She will occasionally feel the sudden compulsion to bite others (Nibbly is feeling silly!!)

^ She does not act on this… most of the time :3

One more silly one to end on

She once owned a Tamagotchi and became so deeply stressed over the state of this virtual creature that she made herself sick from anxiety. 

^ Karen and Mark confiscated the toy very shortly after this.

Anyway ramble's over now but my 45 page google doc of Grace hcs continues to grow every day bc I am fixated hard on this silly little show :3

edit: had to add the '^' thing because the bullets didn't indent properly for some reason!! every one that has that is attached to the previous one without it!

also idk why on mobile the sleepover hc and the Alice hc got cut short?? The sleepover one is supposed to say that now she can't sleep for an entirely different reason and the end of the second bullet says (Alice big sister mode activated).

[hey-kae]

Communications and Confessions

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Request: Heyyy could you please write a drabble/headcanon about Charles' communications manager behaving distantly all of a sudden because she realised she has feelings for him but then he confronts her about it, it gets a little angsty and turns out he has feelings for her too?

Warnings: bit of cursing.

a/n: i was supposed to directly answer the ask but ended up mistakenly deleting it. Luckily, i managed to copy it before 😅 also, i’m aware this is a bit more like a short imagine but i honestly couldn’t figure out how to write this as a drabble so bear with me pls!!

Somehow, over the last few race weekends, things had changed so quickly between you and Charles.

Sure, you were collegues and when you first found out how close in age the two of you were, you thought it would make things easier, especially when you became friends really quickly. If only you knew.

Fast forward a little while, you started dreading race weekends.

As his communication manager, you were often the first person he saw after the races. The first consolations were always from you and you always were one of the few first people he would hug after a win. The friendship the two of you shared definetly made that part of the job easier and less awkward. For a while, at least.

Now, you had went back to the uncomfortable shyness that had being lingering around when the two of you were first introduced last season, simply because you caught feelings for him when you knew you shouldn’t have.

Therefore, the only solution you could come up with was to distance yourself, emotionally at least and just hope for the best. The post-race hugs turned into high-fives, hanging out when it wasn’t work-related was a thing of the past and the small chatters and whispers the two of you would exchange during team meeting were long gone as well.

About three race weekends into the second half of the season, and after zero communication during summer break, Charles had enough of the unexplained cold shoulder you were giving him.

He found himself unable to stay silent about it when you greated him with pursed lips and a sorry look after the Dutch GP, immediately walking in front of him to the media pen instead of giving him the hug he was so used to getting, the one thing he looked forward to after a race.

He hid his annoyance-tinged surprise and rushed through the interviews, being a bit more curt with the interviewers than what was appreciated and what you had recommended.

You thought he had misunderstood your advice due to the way you had panicked and tripped over your words when he had leaned down to hear you, his hand on your back as you walked to the media pen.

"You didn't have to be so short with them." You noted to him as the two of you walked away from the cameras and microphones.

"You don't have to be so short with me either but, oh well. You can't always get what you want."

His defensive response startled you as the two of you made your way into the motorhome, Charles now way ahead of you, his steps hurried as he loosened the collar of his suit.

Sighing, you followed him up to him driver’s room where he immediately turned to face you.

“So… Care to explain why we’re back to strictly professional interactions?” He let himself fall into a chair, one of his arms hanging over its back as he sat challengingly.

At first, you attempted to tell him you weren't being short with him and that if you were, it wasn't on purpose but he wasn't buying it so you gave up and told him you needed to get going.

He quickly closed the door of the tiny room and blocked the way to it.

"You won't even look at me, ma chère. And i believe there's a hug i have been robbed of."

"Quit the dramatics, Charles. I need to leave."

“You’re not leaving until i figure out what the fuck changed.”

Even then, you couldn't meet his eyes, especially with the underlying disappointment in them from the race. That would just make you want to wrap him in the biggest hug. Yeah, he got P3 but you out of all people knew how little that meant to him.

“Nothing changed!” Your voice rose.

“Yes, exactly. I’m not an idiot so don’t try to get me to believe that.”

Your rubbed at your eyes in frustration, your heart racing as you realized you had no clue about how you would get yourself out of this situation.

“Why do you even care? We were barely even friends.” You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Ouch!” He grimaced, “You’re telling me all that shit meant nothing?” He tried to catch your eyes but it was all in vain.

“No… I don’t- Charles, it’s still… Fuck, i don’t know!”

"You know, for a communication manager, you're shit at communicating." He said while leaning back against the door, the suit now hanging off his hips.

"There's really nothing to communicate, Charles."

"Tell me, please."

“Tell you what?!” You faked cluelessness.

“I’m not stupid. Please, just say it, whatever it is.”

Silence reigned as your thoughts raced.

“Please.” Charles still insisted.

“Charles, please don’t make me do this.” You pleaded while tears threatened to pool in your eyes bit you immediately wiped them away, making sure he didn’t notice them.

But he did.

“Fuck…” was his response to that, taking a step closer to you, his body frozen with worry now, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

You sighed and looked away before murmurng the words in a whisper that was barely audible, "I kinda like you."

You checked for Charles' reaction out of the corner of your eye and found his brows raised in surpise, a slight smile on his face, all the worry disappearing in an instant. His heart was racing at those four words.

"Don't say anything." You held a hand up at him, "I'll go resign and disapper into some underground hole on the other side of the planet, maybe even on another planet altogether, forget f1 and ferrari ever existed and then we can pretend we never knew each other to begin with. Simple and easy. It's just a crush, you know? It’s no big deal, right? It-" You tried delaying having to face his reaction by rambling.

"God, do you ever shut up?" He cut you off with a laugh as he moved even closer to you, grabbing you by the hand and pulling you closer before guiding your arm onto his shoulder while his wrapped around your waist.

"What are you doing?" You questioned, retracting your hand and looking at him weirdly for a millisecond while your heart was thretening to beat out of you chest.

"Responding to the confession." He smiled, "Look at me a little."

The second you did, his lips were on yours in a delicate and quick kiss that took you by suprise and made you blush and resist a smile until he pulled away and smiled widely at you himself.

"Just like i imagined, even better than the hugs." He said before hugging you tightly anyway, his face hidden in your neck this time as he whispered to you.

"Just in case you didn't get the hint, i like you too."

[therantingsage]

Misc additional observations/notes relating to the implication analysis post that I either forgot to add or omitted for pacing reasons.

This one's embarrassing to admit, but I literally did not remember this until the post was done and posted:

N being bad at keeping things to himself is literally the first thing we learn about him when he starts talking. "Inclusive reflexes" isn't what teaches Uzi this, it's literally the first thing she finds out about his character, so she has no excuse. There is no plausible deniability she knows her boyfriend can't keep secrets.

((Unrelated to anything but since I'm talking about the pilot like. Why does he fan himself here. Dude you don't even have feelings for her yet bro what's this about. Guy who really likes strong personalities I guess))

N's tiny little smile in Promening when Uzi admits to wanting his help. He's like, critically underappreciated by the people around him before this so Uzi reaching out to him here must be so meaningful to him. He wants to be helpful and she's letting him be.

And Uzi, too, despite being stubborn about it. N being so eager to offer help in the first place isn't something she's used to, either. I'm pretty sure the (correct) general consensus is that this is the episode she falls for him, and honestly all the blushing has very little to do with why I think that's the case.

Because, like...no one really bothered even pretending to get along with her. Like, aside from Thad, but that's for like one scene total before N enters the picture, and Uzi's "how do you know my name, people willingly talk to you" implies to me that they didn't have a lot of, if any, meaningful interactions before that point anyway. And then here comes N, who despite how they'd parted, doesn't even seem upset with her. They both spent their time apart terrified of things being bad between them....but it all just melts away when they reunite and the mutual genuine concern shines through. It's great.

N maybe has fragments of memories of life at the manor, not a lot, but he probably has the vague sense that people used to be nicer to him in general. So it's not as foreign to him. Uzi does not have that luxury so having N be so enthusiastically in her corner definitely touches her heart. And it shows through in how she interacts with him in this episode.

There's lots and lots of little moments in Cabin Fever that I like but this tiny sheepish blush is a funny one. Like he just. Alluded to talking about her. And that flusters her for some reason. We have no idea how much time has actually passed since the last episode but its clear from how little it takes for this reaction to happen that her feelings have grown stronger. She likes him and its cute.

This scene is one I want to talk about in more detail, though. Home establishes that V still has faint lingering feelings for N, so it's not that hard to assume that her behavior here is at least partially motivated by jealousy. She's petty and vindictive and jealous...but most importantly she's perceptive.

Uzi has abandonment issues, which I think is easy enough to understand so I'm not going to elaborate on it. But V figured that out, and makes this threat with the knowledge that Uzi is worried about being abandoned. Uzi fears the idea that she wouldn't be missed if she disappeared, and here comes V, claiming that the one person she cares most about wouldn't care either. Hitting her where it hurts, trying to convince her that her fears are justified and inevitable.

It's likely that this moment contributes to her eventually going feral. That the stress overheats her faster.

She's incredibly vulnerable, when she snaps out of it. Shares that specific fear with N, who reassures her. Because this whole scene is him telling her that no, he wouldn't be able to just get over it if she was gone, because their brief time apart in this single episode was already something that scared him. That she's already become important enough to him that her absence was keenly felt.

It's probably around here, or a bit after this point in the nebulous timeskip between this episode and the next, that N falls for her. Scratch that, his whole speech, as I said in the prior post, just...really feels like some kind of romantic-adjacent confession. But I don't think it WAS explicitly them confessing feelings for each other. N figures out he likes her in this episode I'd like to think, but that speech was the closest he could come to admitting that. Cuz. Y'know. Uzi needs reassurance in other ways right now, no point in muddying the issue.

((and also not news to anybody I'm sure but the song that plays during that scene is LITERALLY called 'Falling...for you??' so. y'know. hindsight is 20/20 this is genuinely the moment he realizes his feelings for her are romantic))

And additional thing I like that I think about a lot, but the way he deliberately choses to switch his hands to claws when he pries her wings open. "I'm a monster, leave me be" she says, to which he replies "Hey, look, I am too, see? It's ok". It's great, he's mirroring, trying to make her feel seen. And by the vulnerability of her next line, it works. They really just, understand each other so damn well.

Home stuff. The fact that the first word that comes to mind to describe him is 'cute' is funny enough, but the fact that she even goes so far as to SAY it out loud before hastily correcting herself. Looking at her bf's baby pictures-coded. Has to keep her image up tho, this version doesn't know her so she can't be too weird or open about it.

But she still wants this version to think she's cool cuz she's a dork who likes him. It's unclear how much of this episode is diegetic when you subtract Uzi, but since these are memories and not proper time travel, we don't know to what extent Uzi's trying to avoid affecting the events. She might not care at all. Did the real N even go down to that basement willingly at any point? I doubt it. But we don't know! And also that's not what I'm making this post to talk about.

Funny Solvercam-Uzi body language on display. Delighted he recognizes her finally, spits out something edgy to play it cool (genuinely my favorite Uzi line of all time), sheepishly looks back at him, and shyly averts her gaze when he thanks her before looking back. Had she her regular face I'm sure she'd be smiling and blushing about it. It's cute as hell. It's very open delight, when you think about it. But still awkwardly teenage. It's easy to see this and have it make a whole lotta sense if they were already dating at this point. Got that meaningful eye contact going on. She likes making him happy so she's proud she succeeded.

Him trying to help steady her when they land. She blushes and slaps his hand away like 'dude I'm fine people are LOOKING at us stoooooop >:('

Her tail chewing on him is fine tho because we don't know if she controls it fully or if it does things subconsciously. And also the others aren't actually looking at them in this shot. Neither of them make the tail stop chewing so at the very least N doesn't mind.

Still flustered easily when he shows her he cares tho. Early-relationship 'hehehe he likes meeee' moment, adorable. Still clearly giddy that someone cares about her.

He's so conflicted after 'Tessa' tells him Uzi needs to die. He loves her, he loves her so so much, but Tessa is his oldest friend. All the memories he has of her paint a picture of someone he's supposed to listen to. Someone he can trust. Someone who wouldn't lie to him. He spends the rest of this episode bracing himself for a goodbye he doesn't want to give and its heartbreaking.

And despite his fear...Uzi still manages to comfort him the best way she knows how. And it gets him to smile! Because that's what the two of them are to each other. He's scared...but she's with him, so its less scary.

They've both caught up to the moment. 'Oh. We're still holding hands while the other two can see oh god'. They're both tight-lipped. She bumps him and they let go, maybe N thinks 'oh, right, yeah, not in public' but then they hold hands again but with intent this time.

And once again, it gets N to smile! And a second later Uzi does too! Awkward little moment of intimacy that must be so refreshing for them because there's so much heavy stuff happening but now they get to be distracted thinking about something lower-stakes.

To me, this bit is an interesting parallel to the Cabin Fever falling scene. He tends to be pretty perceptive about Uzi's worries. He's a good listener. Uzi fears abandonment, he fires back with a promise to stay with her.

But here, the thing Uzi fears is that things are being kept from her. That these two are keeping secrets from her. But instead of assuring her that they'll talk later, like they said they would, he instead chooses to use this moment to put his foot down with 'Tessa'. He just lost V maybe, and he's not willing to lose Uzi too, so he's decided she must be wrong about this being the only solution to the problem.

Up until that very moment, she didn't realize hurting her was on the table. It comes out of nowhere, freaks her out, and confirms her fear that she's not being told something. So she runs.

And the guilt he feels for scaring her off is heartbreaking. Half this episode is limb-chopping, genuinely, so the fact that he chooses this bone-saw to cut himself free instead of the litany of other things he has that he knows are quicker can't be a coincidence. He's punishing himself. And, additionally, probably reminding himself of V, hiding things because he worries the truth will hurt. Which makes the V hologram showing up moments later thematically very appropriate.

Can't add anymore pictures to this so maybe I'll make a part three later lol

[staycalmandhugaclone]

You'll Have to Go Through Me

We're at a point where I strongly recommend not reading this until after working your way through the entirety of Doc's Misadventures beginning, of course with Touch Starved!

There are still some slots left for the 400 follower celebration. I'll be bouncing between Doc fics and reader oc fics bit by bit (though, I can't really stop mid arc for brain reasons, so you'll get part 2 of this fic before I pop back into Asks)

Last head's up: Given my last fics weren't Doc fics, I didn't start this yet, but after today, I'll be reducing my tag list. If folks haven't interacted in some way for a few fics, I'm going to stop tagging you. Because Tumblr just can't do things easily for me, I frequently hand type my entire list, so if yuh want me to take the time to tag you, ya'll have to give me something back so I know I'm not tagging people who've lost interest or aren't even on here anymore. To all my lovelies who silently reblog: I adore you and you can do no wrong in this world! To those of you who frequently comment/chat with me about this crazy little world I accidentally made: I would happily burn the world to see you smile

Warnings: Lots of heavy emotions in this one - angst, guilt, angry, blame, got some profanity in there, and reference to child soldiers kinda

WC: 3,171

There was a rumor that the Kaminoan’s eyes could see colors humans simply couldn’t; that everything from the unblemished armor of shinies to the very reports endlessly updating on their communicators was overlaid with additional data invisible to those deemed a “lesser race.” That rumor left the identical, monotone halls of their cities feeling even more unwelcoming; as though secrets laid all around me, taunting my every step in some undeniable proof that their prejudiced beliefs held a merit I would never be able to fight, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about that anymore.

I roamed those immaculate halls aimlessly, purely for the want of letting myself get lost in them. The need to hide, to flee despite there being nowhere I could run drove me to wander endlessly through the most distant corridors, blindly staring at barracks that had long since been left abandoned as the production of clones lessened with every day that passed. Once, each of the countless rooms around me had been home to cadets too young to understand the horrors awaiting them, and I bleakly wondered how many of those children were now lost to the never-ending demand for sacrifice towards a goal that seemed just as distance now as it had during that very first battle.

I’d nearly walked past him, utterly oblivious to his presence until his helm shifted just enough to catch my attention, and, with a sharp gasp, I was ripped from the illusioned reprieve of my thoughts.

“Kriff!” The curse hissed through clenched teeth, wide eyes locking on the lithe figure leaning silently against the tiny inlet of a doorframe. That silence lingered until my panic withered into that too familiar dread, air catching in my lungs as I stood frozen before him.

“We’re leaving in an hour. Hunter sent you a com.” He stated, and I nearly broke from the chill in his raspy voice.

“I… I haven’t read it, yet…” I finally admitted, jaw stiff. I’d remembered how my heart had dropped at the alert for the incoming message, certain I’d find orders detailing my reassignment lingering within, and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look. Crosshair said nothing for a long moment, and I had to fight the nervous dance of my fingers. Without another word, he turned and began to walk away, and a new panic overwhelmed me.

“Wait!” I gasped, body stealing a half-step toward him before locking up once more. He paused, but didn’t turn back, and I could feel something on the verge of shattering within me.

“I thought you said you didn’t regret it.” It was quiet, as though whispering those words might hide the hurt in them, and the air fled me in a shuttered exhale.

“I…” My throat locked around that choked word, and I cursed myself for faltering when I so desperately wanted to offer him some hint of reassurance, but I could only stare as his shoulders sank before starting through those sickeningly pristine halls once more.

“Wait…” I begged, voice barely audible, but he didn’t stop, and finally, my body remembered itself. “Wait! Wait, dammit! I don’t regret being with you!” I shouted, racing forward to cut him off. He said nothing as he stared down at me, that emotionless visor offering nothing of the warmth with which he’d looked at me just days prior, and I could feel myself wilt beneath it. Letting out a carefully controlled exhale, I reached up to remove my own helmet, robbing myself of what protection that barrier feigned to lay myself bare before him.

“They… they can’t even look at me, Crosshair…” I whispered, and I could see the dark circles beneath my eyes in the sliver of my reflection, “and I don’t… I don’t know how to deal with that.” I couldn’t breathe as I waited anxiously for some manner of response. When he finally began to move, that need surged anew within me, and I could only watch as his hand slowly reached up to trail lightly along my jaw until his palm rested against my cheek.

“I told you they’d figure it out.” A short scoff escaped me, and I couldn’t keep myself from shifting further into his touch. My lips parted, breath catching with the beginnings of speech, but I felt the words abandon me, too weary to force out a response. Instead, I let myself grasp his hand reverently between both of mine and turned just enough to press my lips firmly against his gloved palm, fingers tightening with a desperation I couldn’t risk giving voice as I listened to the air leave him in a slow sigh. Without a word, he pulled his hand away and wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t hesitate, eagerly pressing myself against him for that familiar comfort of his embrace.

“Every time that damn com went off…” I whispered hiding against the rigid planes of his chest plate as sobs vied to rob even those strained words from me, “I was so sure it was an alert that I’d been reassigned…” and, I couldn’t fight back the tiny hitch of a sob as his arms tightened.

“That’s not going to happen.” A hopeless huff of laughter escaped me, but when he called my name, I found my gaze automatically turning up to his, and I couldn’t bring myself to doubt him. “Just give them some time… Please.” How could I not yield beneath the raw need in his voice? I barely noticed the way my head subtly nodded against him, but that didn’t diminish the truth of the gesture. Of course, I would give them time. I would grant them as long as they needed regardless the way my heart twisted at the mere thought of subjecting myself to the terrible quiet they fell into at the very threat of my presence… I knew I could never leave them… any of them… not unless they told me to… I’d promised.

-

I’d hidden away in those abandoned halls for three days before he’d come to find me. Following him back to the hanger had the same taste as an akk dog being dragged home from the pound, and I couldn’t keep my gaze from studying the metal ramp below as we eventually reached the Marauder. I’d finally glanced at my datapad as we walked and found myself wishing I hadn’t. There were only two lines of text in that initial com: the time of the mission brief, which I’d missed, and the time we were meant to leave, which we only barely made it back by. A subsequent message appeared to summarize that brief, but I didn’t have time to more than open it.

As soon as the ramp locked into place, Crosshair pulled off his helmet and stored it in his gun locker. I started to do the same, but paused at the sudden quiet that stole through him once I’d removed my bucket, fingers absently shifting over the ridge where padding covered the unyielding plastoid. He said nothing as he stepped toward me, but I melted at the first feel of his hand slipping up the back of my neck to just tangle into the base of my hair as his lips pressed against my forehead. He held me like that until the ship began to rise, and then he left, silently disappearing into the cockpit where, I assumed, the rest of his brothers waited.

I knew those little moments of softness were, in part, merely an effort to distract me from the guilt ceaselessly twisting through my chest, but that realization didn’t lessen the warmth they granted me. I’d always believed there was more to him than the snarky, eternally unimpressed persona he so loved to flaunt about, but to find myself the subject of such gentle affection was something I would never weary of.

Finding myself alienated from his brothers, however, was a sorrow that contrasted so starkly with the thrill that lingered after Crosshair’s touch that I was left in a place of violently conflicting wants and regrets each too overwhelming to allow even a moment’s understanding of any one emotion. Part of me wanted to follow him, to plead some ignorance that the easy dynamic we’d fallen into hadn’t been shattered so effortlessly, but I couldn’t.

Images of the detached distance in Hunter’s eyes when he’d last looked at me sent me, instead, to the small kitchenette if only to busy myself with restocking menial items in some useless plight to distract myself. When those heavy footsteps sounded from down the hall, however, I found myself regretting that decision, despite how I loathed the thought of hiding away in the medbay again, but my heart raced at the thought of Wrecker coming to a sharp halt at the doorway, at the awkward silence that would fall as he tried to make some excuse to flee, and the coming devastation that would bring me.

I didn’t turn to him when he stopped just outside, attention carefully turned away from him to grant an easier escape, but he didn’t move. After a few tense seconds, I glanced hesitantly toward him, and found myself frozen at the quiet in those mismatched eyes as he looked at me.

“I was worried you weren’t coming back.” He murmured, and I had to turn away for a moment, lungs straining to draw in a steady breath before I could answer him.

“I was worried you might not want me to.” His broad shoulders dropped, automatically taking several steps nearer to me before catching himself.

“Of course, we do!” He said quickly, voice vainly forced into something of a hushed whisper. “It’s just… it’s hard, I guess… different… but that don’t mean we don’t want you around! Just… gotta figure out how everything fits, now, I guess…” Relief and turmoil warred through me as he stammered to explain, and I had to catch my lip between my teeth at the question that followed. “Is that why you stayed away?”

“I think… I think I was trying to figure out how things fit, too…” I answered, stumbling over the same inadequacy of spoken word to touch on the chaos and doubt that led me to wander those abandoned halls.

“… Crosshair… he makes you happy?” He asked suddenly, and my gaze instantly darted back up to find his focus staring blindly toward the too-small table meant to house half the number we’d so often crammed around it.

“… yeah… he does” I hated the hesitation in my voice, and found myself wanting to say more; to offer some promise that… that what? That it wasn’t that Wrecker didn’t make me happy? That the whirlwind of emotions storming relentlessly through me was so devastatingly confusing that I couldn’t begin to sort through them? That I had to bite my tongue to keep from begging him not to hate me? Trapped in that indecision, I allowed myself to say nothing at all, and his response nearly brought me to tears.

“That’s good.” There was still a subtle edge of sorrow in his voice, but I couldn’t doubt the sincerity of his words, which made them all the more painful to hear. “Things have been… hard lately - guess they always are, but… you and Cross… Yuh both needed something to be happy about. So, I’m happy for yuh… Just… sorry it took me a while to figure that out.”

My breath fled me in a broken sigh, and I instantly threw myself toward him, arms locking around his shoulders as my face hid against his neck. I felt him automatically move to return the embrace before freezing, body tense.

“Uh… is…” He stammered hesitantly. “Is it, yuh know… okay for me to-to hug yuh?” The laughter that escaped me sounded too akin to a sob, and I held him even tighter for it.

“Of course, it’s okay for you to hug me.” I said, voice dropping back into a whisper lest the words break, and some of that crippling weight finally slipped from my shoulders as he readily locked me against him.

“You look at the briefing, yet?” He asked after I finally released him, and I couldn’t help but notice the trace of tension hidden beneath that boisterous excitement.

“Not yet,” I replied, watching him carefully though I tried to keep the hesitation from my voice, “I was planning to read over it tonight. What’s the mission?”

“Just stealin’ files off’a some fancy database, but after I get to blow the whole thing up so they can’t figure out what we took!” There was an overzealousness to his too-quick response, a nervousness that I doubted many others would note, but I knew him, and, when I reached for my datapad to finally look through the message, I wasn’t surprised to hear the way his breath caught slightly in his throat. It took only a brief glance to understand why, and whatever traces of guilt within me went silent beneath my sudden rage.

“Hunter!” I shouted, already storming around Wrecker, blind to the way his face pulled into a barely restrained cringe. Two data ports needed to be spliced simultaneously at opposite sides of a large compound on an isolated world recently lost to Separatist forces. Crosshair was being dropped off on a nearby cliffside to provide cover and report troop movement, while Wrecker would begin placing munitions strategically throughout the facility. Hunter and Tech would infiltrate the northern port, and Echo the southern one nearest Crosshair’s position. Meanwhile, I was meant to remain on the Marauder as “backup”.

“What the kriff is this?!” I snapped. He was just cresting the cockpit ladder as I approached with my datapad clutched in my hand.

“If you’d been at the briefing, you wouldn’t be asking that.” He retorted, arms crossing over his chest as he stared down at me.

“Oh kriff you, Hunter!” I snarled, numb to the hurt I knew I should have felt at the feigned impatience in those eyes. His brow twitched briefly together, but he offered no further response. “You’re leaving Echo practically defenseless!”

“Echo is an arc trooper. He’s more than capable of taking care of himself.” He replied blankly.

“Not when he’s plugged in!” My words reverberated slightly against the metal walls, and some part of me wanted to feel guilty for how his sensitive hearing surely ached because of it, but I couldn’t stop myself. “The instant he’s connected, his reaction time-”

“Is still better than yours.” He interrupted harshly. My jaw snapped shut, heart pounding against my chest as he began walking toward me, movements slowed beneath a purposeful intent, exhibiting every ounce of the intimidating, elite soldier he’d been painstakingly created to encompass, but my anger, my dread that something would happen, that his benching me might cost his life or the life of one of his brothers forbade me from yielding, from feeling even a whisper of fear as I stared him down.

“Until we figure this out, you’re a liability. I can’t have them distracted out there in the middle of a mission just because you don’t want to feel left out.” He continued, voice sharp, and I wanted to spit at the word ‘they,’ balking at the vain implication that he’d managed to convince any one of us that he was somehow unaffected. “Unless you want to go running off somewhere again, we can try to figure this out after, but we’re set to land in four hours, and I’m not spending that time playing mediator when we need to be focused on not getting killed.”

Later, the silence that fell between us would break me. Later, I would remember the way my hands clenched into fists as I glared at the man before me with an animosity that, just days prior, I would have thought impossible. Later, I would remember that I was to blame for the crippling discordance that so effortlessly brought our unbreakable family to ruin. In that moment, however, I wanted to hurt him for all the ways I was hurting, and I hated myself for it.

“This is a mistake, Hunter.” The words left in a strained growl, teeth clacking as my jaw snapped around his name. “You know that… and it’s going get one of them killed.” His lips tensed with the beginnings of a scowl just as his attention shifted ever so slightly behind him.

I couldn’t hear what was said, but I held no doubt that that was the intent, that one of his brothers had murmured some warning or plea before he could offer whatever justifiably harsh retort lay seething atop his tongue, and I was glad I couldn’t hear them. If it was Crosshair, would I have lashed out against his attempt to protect me? If I’d heard Tech recant some psychological study dismissing my concerns in favor of Hunter’s logic, would I have yelled at him with that same vehemence? Or if Echo… I couldn’t… I couldn’t do this… I couldn’t breathe beneath the sudden certainty that I was alone in that moment… that I had no one to turn to as my thoughts cascaded into a darkness I feared would consume me.

Gaze falling to metal flooring forever stained with oil and grime and far too much blood as my chest tightened into a vise around my heart, I found myself frozen for a mere second longer before turning away from him. He made no effort to stop me. I didn’t think I could have stopped even if he had. I needed to think… no… I needed to run; to hide… I needed to escape the unspoken accusation in his eyes. I needed to escape the nightmare of my own thoughts berating me for each word that fell so thoughtlessly from my lips, the terror that Hunter was right, that I’d turned myself into the deadly distraction I’d so feared becoming all those months back. I needed to escape this faltering reality as the consequences of my own actions threatened to rip my very sense of self from hands I still couldn’t manage to unclench.

It wasn’t until hearing the quiet beep of the medbay’s door denying entry that I even realized I’d locked it behind me, and I instantly knew who stood just beyond that wall of chilled metal. Wrecker would have called out, and I doubted the others were quite ready to speak to me directly yet. I knew it was Crosshair; knew that he stood there waiting to see if I’d yield, but the seconds turned into minutes, and I made no effort to haul myself from where I sat tucked against the corner, fingers tangled into my hair as I merely let myself hurt beneath the weight of everything I’d lost, everything it felt like I was still losing. I heard his fist fall lightly against the door just once before, after a final moment of denial, treading slowly back down the hall.

Look at this adorable FANART!!! - Thank you so much @mythical-illustrator!!

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