#[imagine caleb was an experimented on child??????????????????????????????????????????????????

[essektheylyss]

You know what I'm thinking about? That trip to Vergessen.

Not the memorable one. The super innocuous one, in which Ludinus and Trent insisted they'd just dug this weird rock out of the ground weeks ago, it's nothing to them, the Bright Queen can have it. The one where Eadwulf told Caleb he looked good despite having just crawled out of an eldritch horror's sludge and then showed off his super muscular, super tatted arms.

Let's return to Eadwulf's arms in a moment.

The scourgers were helping out with the Assembly's research portfolio, which at the time had included Ludinus's pet project of developing dunamantic super-serum. The scourgers had also previously been involved—in their off time, when they weren't doing their primary duties of torture and execution—with human experimentation of methods of augmenting a mage's personal reserves of magic.

Sound familiar?

(Really, Ludinus, are you too old to test your experiments on yourself?)

Back to Eadwulf's well-sculpted arms. By the time we meet him in 836 PD, whatever might've been done to them in 810 PD has been covered with those pointedly geometric tats. Somewhere around the same time span, an assassination attempt is made on the life of the Voice of the Tempest by assassins using what was likely a prototype of Otohan Thull's dunamantic contraption, which is a kind of harness that uses the distilled dunamis created by Yeza Brenatto from studying the stolen beacons. This attack of course left multiple Ashari dead and beyond the point of recovery, among them Derrig and Will.

Six years later, Otohan Thull of course would kill Fearne, Orym, and Laudna in battle using that contraption, and not long after would also use the same assassination tactic to draw out the Champion of the Raven Queen so Ludinus could press him into an orb.

Still with me?

In Molaesmyr, after the Solstice had been stuck in time, Team Wildemount find a number of interesting items in Gildhollow, Ludinus's forsaken bachelor pad. Notable among them is a chest harness designed to consume various natural sources of power in order to augment the wearer's arcane abilities.

I think it's incredibly likely that the human experimentation component of the scourger program, given its scope, was requested if not designed by Ludinus, in an effort to further his research in the realm of augmenting mortals' capacities for magic. (Mechanically, I imagine this equates to additional spell slots per day, or the capacity to singlehandedly pull off experimental spells beyond the scope of ninth level, i.e. Dunamantic Nap spell, but that's just speculation.)

Primarily my point here is to demonstrate that its entirely possible if not likely that even the minutiae of the Assembly's horrific program to create child soldiers may have been part of Ludinus's effort to release Predathos and kill the gods, in an effort to show how broadly this may touch even other previous campaigns.

Additionally my point is to say that if anyone has reason to lead the vanguard (pun intended) of righteous warfare against Ludinus Da'leth, it's a Liam O'Brien PC, and frankly, at this point, given all of this character reasoning to do so, I do not care which one.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

22. "Can we talk?"

Dealer's choice on whom.

22. "Can we talk?"

The call comes five minutes before his class ends. He sees the sending stone glow blue atop a stack of papers, freshly collected and ready to be graded. Assuming the worst, as years of experience have taught him to do, he ends class early, pretends that he isn't offended by the relief on his students' faces. He gathers his things and hurries back to the broom closet they call an office. Door closed, he nervously listens to Beau's waiting message.

"Can we talk?"

Caleb could kill her. Can we talk? That could mean anything. Is she dying? Is he dying? What if the Dynasty has figured out where Essek is—can they flee in time? He throws everything into a satchel and shoves the furniture to the edges of the room, fumbling his chalk out of his pocket. As soon as the teleportation circle is finished, he steps in, materializing just a few heartbeats later in the familiar basement of the Cobalt Soul in Zadash.

He's a familiar enough presence these days that no one blinks at him as he strides to Beau's office. He doesn't even knock, just shoves open the door with a breathless, "What's wrong?"

Beau is sitting at her desk, slack-jawed and staring. Her desk is covered in file folders and loose papers, her old bo staff propped up in the corner. She looks fine, at least to Caleb.

"Fuck, Caleb, I meant later tonight, like, over dinner or something."

Caleb could kill her. "I thought something was wrong."

She sighs, throwing herself back in her chair. "Well, I don't know if something is wrong, but..."

He is exhausted. He collapses in the rickety wooden chair across from her. "What is it, Beauregard?"

She chews on her lip. "It's Yasha."

"Ah. She is mad at you, yes?"

"No, you dick." She sighs again. "She wants kids."

Kids? Caleb tries to imagine it, a little girl with Yasha's muscles and Beau's temper, and he's grateful reproduction doesn't work that way. "I...see. And you...don't?"

"It's not that I don't. I like kids." She pauses. "I mean, they're fine. I think I scare them."

I wonder why. "Then what is the issue?"

"Me!" she explodes. "I mean, can you imagine me? A mom? Taking care of little...people?"

Caleb bites back a smile She is so silly sometimes. "Ja, of course I can, Beauregard."

Her eyes narrow. "What?"

"All you do is take care of people. Fjord, Jester, Kiri, Yasha. Me. You are gruff, to be sure, and rude, and often in a terrible mood—"

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

"—but everyone who has been loved by you knows what it is to be cared for. How many times did you coax me back from the brink? How many times has Jester cried on your shoulder? Who was the one Kingsley went to when he needed someone to help him just be? You are good at caring for others, Beauregard. You just...do so in your own way."

There's a profound silence, and then Beau clears her throat roughly. "Oh."

"Besides, someone needs to stop Yasha from giving her child everything they want."

She laughs at that, but it's weak and shaky. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Caleb."

"Any time." He stands up. "Only next time you have a crisis of the heart, please send a little more context in your cry for help. You do have twenty-five words, you know."

"Caleb?"

"Ja?"

"Go home."

He rolls his eyes and heads for the door. "I take it back. The last thing I need is a mini you running around."

[queenimmadolla]

I’m black and live in America so I’m aware of the racism here but I am always baffled about just how fucking racist people are over the pond. We’ve seen them tear Meghan Markle apart for simply smiling in a photo, so I don’t know what I expected but please just go check out the comments under this particular post/account. Caleb McLaughlin was sharing his experience fed with racism and these ignorant bigots are trying to excuse it by alleging Lucas to having been boring. To literally anyone who has seen the show, you know how incorrect that is. Lucas is a spitfire, and has been from stranger things 1. He was the main pusher to find Will in season one and even took it into his own hands when he believed the rest of the group was straying, we literally see him breaking the social norms of that time and setting by trying to romance a white love interest while her brother despised him for being black in stranger things 2, his Rambo and fun side returned in stranger things 3 for the Battle at Starcourt as he once more tried to save Hawkins, and he again defied the social norms in stranger things 4 by participating in sports, being a jock, and still staying true to his love for fantasy lore as a “nerd”, once he realized certain people attempting to take him under their wing posed a danger to his friends, he had no problem abandoning them to try and find his friends to warn them and then proceeded to risk his life, and take one hell of a beating/kick ass to defend them and save Hawkins again, just about losing the girl he loves in the process. Lucas Sinclair is anything but boring and if you have a moment, I highly encourage you to flood this comment section under this post with support. And flood ANY comment section regarding Caleb McLaughlin with support because lord knows he needs it, I didn’t realize just how much after seeing these pathetic people trying to excuse and rationalize their racism. They are actively using racist statements and terminology. My heart broke when he mentioned that during his first comic con (he was still a child, imagine little lucas from season 1) being told overseas that people didn’t want to get in his line because he was “mean” to eleven when even he at that young age knew the real why those people really didn’t want to meet him, his dark skin. Boost this if you can.

[writing-whump]

Sick from fear

Seline takes a student home. Matthew isn't happy about it. Intimidation, agression and some emeto ensue.

“Don’t be shy now. It’s okay,” Seline said with a smile.

Caleb hesitated at the doorstep of the apartment, nodding meekly, before he stepped inside and immediately started to take off his shoes.

She was doing writing consultation for the seminar she was assisting with for students as always, but today was special, because she got to talk with the only wolf student one on one. A young wolf, just 18 years old. He seemed like a child to her no matter what the passport said. 

Wolves that studied were rare, since most of them couldn’t handle the training to tolerate humans. Even rarer were wolves who studied the softer sciences, for when they already did, they wanted something that would increase their status or their skills for pack matters and business. 

Caleb studied cultural anthropology though and she was beside herself with joy. Finally it happened! Their faculty of european ethnology, one of the many names their faculty could be called, was small and cozy and little known. Most people couldn’t imagine anything under the name. Sociology was more famous, the annoying step-sister of the department, but people didn’t understand it any better.

But theirs was like a little secret club just across the big gallery building and the butterfly museum and the big state library. Surrounded by art and thoughts, just like she liked it. 

Caleb was insecure in the lessons, a little shy and flinched at loud noises, but he was there, growing into himself.  

Normally, she held her consultations at the student space, which was a fancy name for a hall filled with tables for student needs. As the end of the day neared, it filled with project groups and chatting students. At the point when she couldn’t hear Caleb's soft answers anymore, she decided just to invite him over. She finally had a place in Vienna, compared to the 10 years she spent traveling back and forth. Finding a quiet place, where you could just chat with people was a challenge, cause everyone had the same idea, so everything was very full, very busy and too loud.  

Caleb held his bag self-consciously in his hands, looking at her for directions. 

Seline smiled and waved him in to sit down at the kitchen table. The apartment always looked representative these days, because of Isaiah’s constant and insistent cleaning, which usually prompted her and Matthew to help out as well. 

“So. Tell me again about the research question.”

Caleb sat down gingerly, gaze downcast, like he was scared looking around would be some kind of attack on her privacy. 

“I’m not entirely sure about the topic yet. The assignment says we should choose something mundane and familiar, something we have close connection to and that won’t be hard to do participative observations on…but there aren’t that many public places…I feel comfortable in?” Caleb only recently moved to the city so she understood the whole experience as a wolf and as a student was very new to him. 

“Is there a place you would be interested in? It’s always best to start with what makes you curious. It doesn’t have to be familiar as long as it’s exciting and you feel like you would like to find out more.” 

“Uhmm…I actually thought I might ask you…is it allowed to write about your own home?”

Seline threw her hair back, straightening on the chair. “Yes, of course. Ethnography is all about exploring the small, mundane, the seemingly daily and personal. But diving in deep. Autoethnography or something or someone close to you is definitely allowed. Many first years do their first interviews with their parents or friends. There is nothing wrong about it, you have to learn the format and work up your nerve. You just have to be transparent and take consideration of that in your analysis.”

Caleb looked at the table, his eyes flickering to her and back for several long seconds. Seline held still. People didn’t like silence, so they usually tried to fill it and expanded upon what they wanted to say. She liked that technique very much. 

“Would I be allowed to write about wolves as well?” Caleb asked finally, shoulders tense, his hands curled up in his lap. 

Seline smiled widely. “Of course.”

Caleb lifted his gaze to her, eyes wide. “A-are you sure? Isn’t that…I don’t know…”

Seline took a deep breath. This was an excellent question and she had waited years for someone to ask.

“Shadow wolves are beings just like humans. We share space. We share cities, so we all have a right to the city. We share our lives and our desires and needs that way and need to negotiate our collective space. It’s an entirely legitimate topic for an ethnographer to explore.

Admittedly, there had been very little research done on this field from the perspective of social sciences. Political sciences have really ridden the hype on this since the legislative finally settled on a solution everyone was moderately happy about. But also communication sciences researching social media representation and debates. Film and media studies and literature studies have whole lectures about wolf shadow authors and how they have always been here, their identities more or less hidden in their content. But if you disregard the biology and medicine papers and the ethical questions and controversy regarding them that had been going on for over 20 years - the scientific community has actually done very little direct research with wolves as active consensual participants.

As a wolf yourself, you have to reflect your identity, role and positioning in this field - obviously - but it gives you unique access to spaces that are closed or uncomfortable for most scientists. Especially since most scientists are still very human and wolf packs are very private, structured and distrustful social units with their own rules for correct behavior that are very hard to understand, if you didn’t grow up with them. No one has yet written the rules down.”

“There are guidelines from government institutions and schools,” Caleb countered.

“Yes, but they are for wolves, not from them. There are only unspoken rules. Humans have made space for wolves, but they made them adjust themselves to human norms and rules - partly this is necessary as human safety, integrity and dignity have to be respected. But no one ever thinks about what wolves do, feel and where they are coming from. Why is it hard for them to fit into human communities and groups, why their instincts go against what humans would normally consider right or pleasant.” 

“But would anyone be interested in that? Would it be relevant…for someone who doesn’t come into contact with wolves?”

“Even if people didn’t want to interact with wolves - which is unlikely as they are very frequent in cities now and why wouldn’t they want to interact, when they have to come across each other - consider all the humans involved directly with wolves. Like humans born into wolf families.”

“Or witches,” Caleb said quetly, watching her. 

“Or witches,” she agreed with a nod. “It isn’t natural for me as a witch why wolves do and feel what they do. I have human instincts and understanding and I’m socialized into my own culture. Behavior for and around wolves had to be taught to me.” 

Caleb nodded eagerly. Seline noted how his shoulders relaxed visibly as fascination replaced the discomfort from before. 

“There are so many wonderful topics you can explore around wolves. Safety and conflict mediation are so common they are cliche at this point.”

“So I can research whatever I want?”

“Yes. As long as you can find logical arguments and explain the relevance and connection to ethnography.”

“But you just said-”

“There is one,” she said with a grin. “There always is. You just have to learn to situate your personal interests in the wider context of your scientific field. You are an ethnographer-”

“I am?”

“-as long as you act and think of yourself as one. You are my colleague at the faculty now.” She had always loved it when their professors treated them like colleagues and partners in the seminars and discussions, although it was plain they had so much more experience and knowledge than students could gain in the 5 years it took to finish the master's degree. It was incredibly confidence-boosting and remade her own understanding of herself as a researcher. 

Caleb redded, but couldn’t quite suppress the hopeful smile as well. He seemed to have become taller during their conversation, just by uncurling. Satisfaction swelled in her chest. She wanted to stay as a professor at the university for moments like these. 

“Now, I would like to show you some exercises to help you formulate-”

The entrance door opened and slammed shut, interrupting her. 

“Seline? You home? Class ended early and I…” Matthew’s voice faded as he got closer, walking inside the kitchen. “What the hell is this?”

“Oh hey, Matt, I just invited my student over for a consultation. We should be finished in 15-”

Matthew’s bag fell down on the floor with a bang. It had been some time since she had seen that expression on his face. It was somewhere between an angry grimace, pain and a snarl that contorted his features.

Then a loud growl echoed inside the room.

Caleb was on his feet in an instant, backing away to the wall. “I’m s-sorry, I’ll leave, sir,” he said, trembling.

“Matthew, what are you doing?” Seline said in disbelief and irritation. She didn’t understand what caused such a reaction.

Matthew’s shadow rose up, black and swelling, like a giant nightmarish monster behind him.

Caleb whined, crouching against the wall. His own shadow stirred, but it was small and hesitant and completely scared. 

“This is my territory. How dare you-” Matthew could barely put a sentence together, his hands shaking as he towered over the younger wolf.

“I’m sorry,” Caleb repeated, shaking all over.

Seline jumped up from the chair, positioning herself between Matthew and Caleb. “What has gotten into you?” She said angrily. “You are scaring my guest.” 

“You brought a foreign wolf here?” Matthew said, turning to her. It was very different to have thar angry scowl accompanied by a risen shadow that reached the ceiling directed at her. She felt a shiver run up her spine and her hair standing up on the back of her neck. 

“Stop it,” she said quietly. You are scaring me. 

Matthew stared at her, eyes shadowed over, reaching for her arm…

Seline had no wards, no shields. All protections in the apartment were made against wolves she didn't know, she didn't like, didn't trust…and she had no way to sing a song or call on water inside the apartment, without preparation and time. 

If he hurt her now, she wouldn't be able to do anything. She stood frozen from fear, helplessness flooding her from head to toe. 

Caleb made a soft whiny noise behind her and that snapped her out of it.

Seline grabbed Caleb’s hand and without turning and retreated back, going for the door. Caleb barely managed to take his shoes before they were out of the apartment, both breathing hard. 

Seline’s heart was hammering in her chest. Once the door stood between them, the cold creeping presence of the shadow wasn’t notable anymore, but the cold dread remained. 

They were silent on the elevator, Seline still processing the shock of that feeling. She recognized it from when her younger brother made that move like he wanted to hit her for the first time during an argument. 16 years old boy who she cradled and played with from the day he was born, growing to be taller than her only that year, almost hitting her in the face. His fist stopped centimeters from her nose. She cried herself to sleep that night and started to look for her own place the next.

This felt so close to that horrible moment she felt tears in the corners of her eyes, hugging herself. 

The elevator jingled as it stopped. They both stepped out, Seline feeling weirdly detached from the situation as the fear still coursed through her.

Then Caleb suddenly made three quick steps to the side of the building, reaching the beginning of the decorative grass and promptly threw up all over it.

That snapped her back into action again. 

Caleb was shaking, hands braced on his knees, breathing fast. Seline walked to him, first hesitant, but when he groaned, she dared to put her hand on his back. He tensed for a moment before relaxing. He gave her a look from the side, opening his mouth to say something, when his body rocked and heaved again, spluttering vomit onto the grass.

Seline rubbed his back, hating the tremors running through him. Such a nice boy. Even as a wolf, she felt like he would never even think of hitting her. And now he was scared out of his mind by her…what was Matthew to her? A roommate? A friend? A pack member? They weren't a pack, were they? 

Can wolves attack their own pack members? She had never heard about it being witches at least - pack witches were always cherished, protected and untouchable. 

Was it because they weren't a pack or because they were, but not enough?  

“I'm so sorry, Caleb. You are going to be fine. Deep breaths. You are safe.”

Caleb spit on the ground with another groan, then tried to straighten up, swallowing visibly. He looked at her again, perspiration sticking his short blond hair to his forehead. 

“No, it's my fault. I was in foreign territory and I-”

“You were invited though. I invited you. I don't know what got into him.” Seline wasn't sure if it made it better or worse, that she lived with someone who couldn't be trusted like that.

“It's a classic response when you have a threatening foreign element on your turf. It's fine. He was worried about you, not me,” Caleb said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“I'm really sorry.”

“No. Humans don't get how wolves work, remember?” He gave her a shaky smile that didn't last more than half a second. “Trust me, Miss Silverstein.” 

She rubbed his arm up and down. The texture of his white cardigan was so thin she could feel the shirt underneath. “Don't be so formal with me and let me apologize.”

Caleb shook his head. “I'll accept your apology if it makes you feel better, but really - no harm done. My shadow is so ridiculously small and my reaction is exaggerated. I'm sorry you had to see that.” A bit of color returned to his too-white cheeks as he flushed.

“It's okay. Are you feeling better now? We can go sit somewhere and wait until you are ready.”

He waved her away. “I'm all good. Thank you again for your help.”

Seline watched him go, not knowing how to explain how much worse everything seemed to her now. 

@bellysoupset

[beatriceeagle]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series)

Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Characters: Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett, Bren Aldric Ermendrud, Original Male Character(s), Yasha (Critical Role), Essek Thelyss, Astrid Beck

Additional Tags: canon compliant through Mighty Nein Reunited, canon inspired through Echoes of the Solstice, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, technically this is kidfic in both senses of the term

Chapter: 5/24

Summary: Six months ago, Beau adopted a teenager who loves the Cobalt Soul, but can't stand her. Ten minutes ago, Caleb accidentally summoned his own teenage self into his living room. So you know, they're both going though some shit.

At least Caleb's got experience befriending novice monks with attitude problems. And Beau's got experience befriending Caleb.

Chapter Summary: Bren makes friends; Caleb window-shops.

_____

Bren was ready to go well before Caleb the next morning. Caleb couldn't imagine he was excited to visit the Cobalt Soul—Ikithon's descriptions of the organization had always been dismissive at best. He guessed that Bren was simply eager to be out of his company. The feeling was mutual.

They ate a much simpler breakfast than the previous days', just barley porridge that Caleb had set to simmer overnight. They didn't look at each other while they ate. The short walk to Beau and Yasha's passed in silence.

Jasper answered the door. "Beau's finishing her coffee. You can come in."

He was doing a bad job of pretending not to stare at Bren. The impulse was entirely understandable, but it made Caleb's skin itch. He did not want Bren in this safe, cheerful home.

Read more

[chirpsythismorning]

What do you think about ST writers staying silent when it comes to homophobia in fandom? I've seen some people talking about this and I have to agree that it is getting toxic, and the creators can say something about it. This issue is not about shipping, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in this fandom.

I get this, I really do, but there is a reason they don't bring a bunch of attention to the negative and it's the same reason most of the cast tries to not bring attention to the negatives going on that they experience.

This reminds me of when Noah came out for example. A lot of fans were congratulating him with support and stuff. But that didn't last long bc suddenly everyone in the tag was fixating on the negatives they were seeing, reposting homophobic comments he was getting and just freaking out on a loop over harmful shit going on. Some fans even made like plot twist edits of hateful comments he had under his coming out video and Noah himself commented on one of them, like alluding to the fact that he tries to not let it get to him.

When you're in these peoples positions, you're hearing about god awful stuff happening constantly. And that makes sense, when you have an audience of hundreds of millions of people, shit goes down. ALL the time.

And so it gets to a point where, eventually you have to give up basically. I'm sure there was a time early on like in s1, when they might have felt the need to put the fans in check over certain harmful things. But it probably got so big they couldn't do that any more, simply for mental health reasons I wouldn't ask that of anyone.

Think about Finn who has been through some shitty fandom behavior over the years with fans obsessing over him and like essentially photoshopping a fake story about his gf SAing someone. Did he come forward and talk about that? No bc fans like that don't even deserve the attention. And while yes, it's clear that he feels like grateful about this experience, it's also clear he has an intense sense of bitterness over the fact that having millions of fans means that there are bound to be quite a few who don't understand boundaries. And yet it's gotten to a point where acknowledging them only makes them stronger.

And then there's Caleb, who experienced fucking racism as a child simply for his character getting in the way of milkvan... And he only recently over the last year or so has felt comfortable enough to start talking about it more. And it's probably because he was in large part not wanting to re-hash over stuff that is obviously traumatizing and just not fucking fair for him to have to discuss in the first place. He deserves for this to be an incredible experience. He shouldn't have to give any of his time and attention to people that don't fucking deserve it in the first place. He deserves better than that.

And then there's Millie who has also been through a lot, to the point where it's like near impossible to even pinpoint everything because it's just so much. And she has the biggest following on social media so that makes a lot of sense. Her fandom experience is a large part of why she doesn't really use social media anymore. She used to love interacting with fans, but now it's just not something she can handle. Not only does she have to deal with people that hate her for no apparent reason, she also has to deal with so called fans psychoanalyzing anything and everything she does, to the point where they're convinced they know everything about her and her boyfriend and her family, as if they know what's best for her? Like imagine not having a space anywhere despite having millions of people say they love you, when they just turn around and treat you like a product to be consumed and discarded? It's exhausting.

All of them have a story like that, that just makes you realize that this is so much bigger than ship wars and any nonsense fans obsess over. Sometimes we forget these are real people and they have to see this and it obviously effects them mentally over time to the point where they just can't acknowledge it anymore in order to simply live their lives peacefully.

Now, I'm not saying the Duffers will never address the homophobia, bc they no doubt will. However, I think that in large part the point is to let these homophobes especially feel like they are superior and have the upper-hand, only to rip it out from under them basically.

And that's because we're also talking about a show that is hiding the truth in plain sight. This show is in fact for the so called freaks and geeks (and the gays). And so when that truth is finally revealed, THAT'S when they're going to call the bigots out on their bullshit. Because this show was never for them in the first place! And making them tune in for all of it, convinced it was for them all this time, only to find out it wasn't, I'm sorry but it's fucking badass.

If they're hiding that core message in plain sight, and yet most of the audience STILL doesn't see it, and it's also a big reason why they refuse to even consider byler, then yes it makes sense to hold off this scolding for when the reveal happens, only to throw all of that backlash on the people STILL being homophobic when it's all said and done, despite them saying it was all indeed intentional.

Right now there are genuine homophobes out here, and then there's people that are merely misunderstanding the extent of what's truly happening bc of heteronormativity, which is arguably the way the show was intended to be watched, assuming you're only watching it once through and you don't consume any more content regarding it much outside of that initial viewing (most of the ga). And then there's the fans who are literally queer and love queer stories, but aren't allowing themselves to believe it this time bc of how prevalent queer-baiting is.

By no means am I saying homophobia is okay. Obviously it's not. But people are homophobic, people are bigots. You can decide for yourself which situations you want to call it out and when you want to let it just be because otherwise you're gonna be fighting forever with people that do not fucking care, and that's not helping anyone, least of all queer people who would rather probably just ignore all of the noice and be happy being their authentic self, despite all of the hate that's out there.

We'll have to see how fans react to s5. I have hope that it will go well.. I do think that there could be a time period where people are like in denial and grieving or whatever. But we know the evidence is there. We know that the Duffers are going to be happy to admit that it was intentional to disprove the claims that try to say byler came out of nowhere.

Absolute worst case scenario, I think the critical reception will be something along the lines of this:

[elvenmother]

I need to talk about the latest episode of Ahsoka. So obviously, there are spoilers.

The flashbacks to the Clone Wars were brilliantly done and I noticed something that the live action version was able to pull off better than the animated version.

Just how young Ahsoka was at that time.

She was 14 when she joined Anakin on the front lines. 14!!

Now, I know that the Padawans being on the front lines was all part of Palpatine's plan to corrupt the Jedi Order, but the Jedi Council went along with that plan.

A group of Jedi Masters sat there, and when it was suggested that they put children into battle, they went: "Sure, that sounds right."

They turned an entire generation of Jedi into child soldiers. Granted many of that generation didn't survive because of Order 66, but if they had the Jedi Order still would have been screwed. The amount of trauma those children experience could never have been undone.

Ahsoka was 14. Kanan (Caleb Dune) was probably about 12/13. Cal Kestis was 12.

Any way you look at it, these are kids. And the live action Ahsoka was able to really drive that home. Age can be difficult to gauge in animation, but to see a teenage girl playing Ahsoka really shows the age gap between her and Anakin.

Another thing... part of the reason the Council approved the idea to send the Padawans onto the front lines was their own hubris. Their way of thinking at that point was, "We're Jedi, we're the only ones who can do this because we're the greatest."

They couldn't imagine a galaxy where they were in the wrong. This arrogance is seen times and again throughout the Clone Wars but also before it. Master Sifo-Dyas foresaw a war coming. When he tried to tell the Council, he was told he was wrong. They couldn't sense anything coming, so he was wrong. He wasn't.

There are other examples that I can't fully remember of Jedi and others warning the Jedi Council of the threat only to be hand waved away.

Anyway, this was my anti Jedi Council rant that bubbled up after watching Ahsoka. The Jedi themselves were the reason for their downfall. All Palpatine did was take advantage of their own arrogance and blind belief that they were infallible.

[bornspellcaster]

Little Firefly - Chapter 5

(When the time pool closes before she reaches it and Luz finds herself hopelessly stuck in ancient times, an incident forces her to work together with her enemy to ensure their survival. In the midst of it, Luz learns there may be more than meets the eye to the frigid Puritan, and discovers the real secret to saving The Boiling Isles may just lie in reuniting an estranged family…)  

Chapter 5 - Ultimatum

Chapter Index

It had to be the first time in a while, longer than Philip could recall, that he woke up feeling moderately rested and content. He didn’t awaken with tears coating his face, or shivering from the lack of warmth provided by body heat. The ever present gnawing of grief was always there…but it felt cushioned as he opened his eyes and looked down.

As the rain had tapered off they’d all crawled just to the outside of the tree for more space, but yet through the night, at some point, both children had cozied up to either side of him. Luz’s warm cheek was pressed against his stomach, and Eclipse was splayed out on top of her.

He smiled, and was thankful no one was awake to see it.

Philip gazed down at the sleeping children’s face. Eclipse was already starting to wriggle and rub at his eyes. Luz was strangely taking more time to rouse. “Wakey wakey Luzura,” he told the girl with a gentle nudge. A far cry to the cruel kick he’d always given her before. The toe of his boot barely pressed against her midsection, and to his secret endearment and great amusement, she giggled and covered her belly.

“I said wakey wakey Luzura.” When his foot pressed to her stomach, it gave it a bit of a jiggle this time. Luz squealed and gave a subconscious snort through her dozing, but appeared to fall right back into her slumber when the giggles tapered off.

Philip sighed. “I tried being nice.” He looked at his spider. “Arakate, you know what to do.”

The little arachnid seemed to give a battle cry as she eagerly skittered over to the teenager and slipped into her sleeve. Philip turned around to pack their things just as, predictably, shrieks and laughter rose up from behind him and he smirked darkly.

Luz was on her feet in an instant, dancing around as her lumpy shirt could be seen wiggling about from the merry spider crawling all over her.

“This is what happens to those that aren’t up at the crack of dawn,” Philip shrugged as he wrung out his jacket and snuggled it up over him again. “Well actually they’re eaten usually, but…this is what Caleb would have her do to me if I was foolish enough not to get up when told.” Apparently he didn’t realize what sensitive information he was divulging.

“Oh…?” At least not until Luz’s far too inquisitive and smirking tone could be heard. “Oh you don’t say…?"

Philip flushed pink, but luckily, he found a way to divert the conversation. “…You look like hell.”

She stopped smirking and now looked a tad annoyed. “Gee thanks?” She scoffed. “Can’t say you look like your Sunday's best at the crack of dawn either!”

“No, I mean you really look terrible. Did you sleep that badly?” he blinked. In the morning sun now, he could see the bags under the child’s eyes had practically packed themselves and gone to bed. She appeared disheveled, and her darker complexion was even a bit lighter. There was a strange look in her eyes, almost glazed, and it didn’t appear to be from morning grogginess.

“Well I feel okay, just a bit tired. Hey, do we have any of those snapping berries left?” She changed the subject fairly quickly and avoided his stern eyes boring into her.

They…had had a difficult night, after all. Maybe she was just a bit under the weather.

Philip shrugged and ruffled through the small satchel of snapping berries. The pouch immediately growled and he rolled his eyes. “The audacity, honestly. A fruit that growls at you, never imagined I’d experience the likes.” Only in this hell…

“Hey at least they aren’t snapples!” Luz laughed as she fished out a berry. The raspberry shaped eyeholes seemed to narrow, and its pulpy jaws snapped angrily as it was retrieved.

“Evelyn taunted me once when I was being ‘rude’ and said if I didn’t behave, the tree would turn me into a fruit. I thought it rubbish. This hell had to draw a line somewhere, right? So I picked up a snapple and it bit me. Only after I noticed my fingers became the consistency of pulp did I believe her.”

Luz burst into laughter, pulling a chunk of the purple pulp off the snapping berry and chewing at the sweet seeds. “That’s why I like snapping berries better. They bite you with their gummy fruit mouths but you can’t feel it…and you don’t turn into anything.”

Eclipse sat on a stump and looked at the berries, seeming a little downtrodden that he couldn’t eat any of them. Philip took notice.

“What did you like to eat, when you had a physical form?” he hummed to the star baby.

“Oh!” They grinned. “Well we didn’t really have to eat, but I liked doing it because it helped me feel like a mortal! And it looked fun and tasty! I liked star candies! Which basically is just when I took a big bite out of a star.”

Both looked at the blissfully smiling entity for a good moment, and returned to their respective breakfast. In the middle of licking the remnants of berry juice from his fingers, Philip’s caught sight of the complexion Luz’s pale face was taking.

Somehow, she was turning a sickly jade, and he didn’t back up in time. He heard the grotesque sound before he felt the stomach contents splash his shoe. He shuddered, but didn’t have much time to mull on that, because he had to rush to steady Luz before her head slammed into a rock.

He caught the girl and supported the small of her back, giving her an incredulous look. Luz had the audacity to look sheepish.

“Sorry about that. Heh, I guess I’m more nauseous than I thought… …Your boots were gross anyway.”

Philip rolled his eyes. “Don’t make me second guess dropping you on the rock,” he drawled. He pulled the girl back to sit down. She was still wobbling and he kept his hand hovered near, just in case. “Now what is going on with you?”

“Nothin,” Luz huffed, rubbing at her eyes. Philip fixed her with the kind of look she hadn’t seen since last her father scolded her. It was the same warning tone as well.

“Luz.”

It had the same immediate compliance from her. “Okay okay! I don’t really feel the best…my tummy is kind of sore. It’ll feel okay later.”

He wasn’t convinced, but the sun had already kissed the horizon and they needed to get a move on. They couldn’t exactly stay in that hollow for the rest of time. They needed to find a new base of operations, some new…temporary dwelling.

Or you could go home. Philip jumped when he heard his spider give a chitter, and he hissed at the persistent arachnid. “Oh, make yourself useful and turn into a staff!”

As expected, the staff-hating palisman made a series of disgruntled noises, before she materialized back into wood. He was certain the wood was glaring. Honestly…all these vile creatures and he had to get the one that didn’t even know how to be a palisman.

Philip decided to fly low. He wasn’t sure how well he could trust Luz to stay on Arakate, and if she fell off, he certainly didn’t trust his own piloting skills. His brother had always tried to encourage him to work with Arakate and try to fly with her. He really wished, just for once, he went against his bigotry so he’d have the practice…

“Hey can I call you Papa?” Eclipse was suddenly in front of him, grinning their large and hopeful cheshire grin. The question was so unorthodox that he could only blink for a moment.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Why do you even want to?” The man finally tossed his hands out in exasperation, and partially to try and wave off the shadow child looming over his head. …He wondered if he might also wave away the warmth that seeped within, to the question.

These brats and their…emotional curses…

“Well you kind of look after us,” Eclipse shrugged. “Oh, and it annoys you so I want to.”

Ah, well there went the warmth. Philip felt the embarrassed and endeared pink drain from his cheeks and ears as his face fell deadpan in record speed. “Seriously? Why aren’t you bothering Luz, like you always are? Luz loves playing with you.”

“Luz isn’t much fun today!” the baby complained, as his gaze drifted back to the teenager that had her face pressed against Philip’s back. That was concerning enough on its own…but it was honestly the uncomfortable heat that was radiating through the fabric that was the most concerning.

It was very chilly outside now, the post boiling rainstorm having cooled in the grass and left its damp in the air. She…had no reason to have a body temperature like that.

“Luz?” He jostled her lightly with an elbow. “Luz? Are you…napping?” he asked awkwardly.

Eclipse floated back next to the teenager’s side, but in typical child naivety, he didn’t seem to grasp the situation. “Yeah what’s with the nap, Luzzy? You promised me you’d teach me to fly a staff, and here you’re all…” He trailed off at Philip’s withering glare.

Philip redirected his attention to Luz and his face softened an increment. Seeing the darkening bags under her eyes as she weakly looked up, it softened more. “Luz.”

“Just…more tired than I thought.” Luz’s lips turned up in what she hoped was a convincing smile. Her lips looked pale…

Philip merely nodded, deciding to humor the very…blatant lie. She looked like she needed a moment, and perhaps he could take the time to examine her.

“Right. Well, we’re going to do a supply run then,” he informed the kids as his feet finally hit the damp auburn grass. Hopefully the heinous creatures of the town had some sort of medication suitable for human children… “Everybody off the staff. Arakate does not like to be a staff, ever. She’s partially why I could never learn real magic even if I wanted to,” he drawled. “She absolutely hates being on top of the stick and would…rather ride my head or shoulder.”

“Ohhh she’s your Pikachu!” Luz giggled, delighted with her joke. Philip might have misconstrued it for fever delirium if he didn’t…know her decently well by now.

He shook his head incredulously and decided it was just best not to ask further. Maybe the kid’s brain shouldn’t be stressed anymore than it had to be.

You’re right, I do hate that thing, he heard his spider echo in his mind, concern strong in each bulbous eye. But it doesn’t look like she should be walking anywhere right now. So just for this one time, I’ll make a sacrifice.

He nodded in satisfaction and gratitude to the arachnid and propped himself up against the staff. The moment his legs slung over the wood to hop off however, he seemed to…grossly overestimate Luz’s center of balance, and how strong her body was at the moment. Without him to lean against, the poor child toppled into the grass like a sack of bad potatoes.

“Luz!” Philip yelped in surprise as he found himself beside her on the ground in a span of two seconds. Luz groaned and her eyes drifted skyward to gaze up into the pink clouds. Everything spun, the painted tinge of the sky and his horror stricken face and wide blue eyes as they came into view. “Child, did you forget how to walk??”

“Walking is for lame-os…” the teenager mumbled as she pulled away from his hands.

Philip shook his head in disbelief as he turned to Arakate. “What do you make of this?”

Arakate hopped down and skittered to the young girl’s side, darting back and forth as she performed a small examination and chittered in concern. The child was pale as could be with the exception of her clammy, and reddened cheeks. Sweat clung to her brows and her clothing was even starting to stick to her from it.

I don’t know but…she doesn’t look that good, Philip, his spider said gravely. She’s getting awfully feverish. Her long spindly legs tapped at the girl’s skin, and her gaze trailed down to where Luz was flexing her leg in apparent discomfort, face contorted.

Eclipse gasped when he saw the state of the girl’s leg. It was patterned from the thigh to the knee in what looked like fuzzy splotches of blue and purple. It looked like the spores of a spoiled loaf. “Ew! She’s all fuzzy like bread gets right before you throw it out!” they cried in alarm. “Oh no, we have to throw Luz out!! She’s….she’s EXPIRING!”

“Eclipse calm down,” Philip instructed the frantic child. “We do not have to throw Luz out. She will be fine, we just need to get some care for her.” He refused to think of the fact that, in a sense, Eclipse was right. If they didn’t figure out what was wrong with this girl she would…no. No, that wasn’t happening.

“Night night,” Luz mumbled in a sweet little croon as she turned onto her side and tucked her knees and her hands beneath her cheek. It was, to say the least, a horrifying thing to hear after what Eclipse had just said.

“No, not night night!” Philip exclaimed as he hauled the whining teenager up by her shirt collar. Her noodle legs unfortunately couldn’t sustain her body weight and she buckled once more into the grass. “Come on now, child…you just need a bit of assistance.” He dipped down himself, and with a bit of adjusting, he soon had the girl pulled up onto his back.

Luz flopped forward like dead weight against his back, and despite the uncomfortable heat sweating through his jacket, Philip felt a strange unnerving chill. Something was very wrong.

The teenager was heavy. He’d built up a bit of muscle mass through living on his own and hunting, but she was still difficult to carry. “Put your arms around me. You like hugs, remember? Hold onto me all you want.”

Luz mumbled in barely coherent acknowledgement, but after a moment her sweaty arms flopped around his neck and hung there like limp strings that she could barely even support.

Philip cursed. He cursed whoever was out there that made these hellish ailments in this hellish place. “How did she start to fade so fast?” he demanded Arakate anxiously. “She was fine last night! Chatty, annoying—very annoying. All of the usual! Did she become sick because of the rain? The fluctuating of body temperature with damp clothes? No…that doesn’t quite add up to these symptoms.”

She has a terrible rash, the spider pointed out, skittering down the girl’s back to once more get a look at it.

“Right, rash, rash…argh! So many damned things cause a rash! Well, small pox doesn’t make one fuzzy and blue, so I suppose that’s one we can scratch out. The common mold definitely doesn’t cause such symptoms…”

“Is it dragon pox?” the baby collector wondered as he lingered by his friend’s side and tried to see if this weird rash looked familiar. It didn’t.

Philip shook his head. “Dragon pox causes an affliction of scales. Not…scale like rash, literal scales. And your eyes turn hideously yellow. If this is dragon pox, it’s certainly a new strain I’ve never come across. And I almost died from it soon after getting here, during the great plague. We need an expert’s opinion.”

We need Varuka, Arakate told the young man pointedly, and Philip felt a small surge of panic. He waved a hand dismissively and ignored the annoyed eyes.

“Oh, no need to go that far. There’s a healer in the town that we were in earlier. Remember that little tent? We’ll get the girl there. A potion, or a spell, and she’ll be in pristine condition.”

There weren’t many resources in that tent, Arakate frowned at him. And you still have quite a black and white view of how magic works. It’s not necessarily…that simple, especially if she has a rare sickness. You know that Varuka-

“Eclipse!” Philip cut off loudly. “We're going to walk back to the town we were in. It isn’t far, and it’s safer than flying for her right now.” He hiked Luz up against his shoulder blade, and tried to ignore the pang of concern as her face flopped against him. Her eyes only fluttered now and again.

“The…healer will be able to help her, right?” the baby collector hesitated. “‘Healer’ is in the name, after all.” He nodded his affirmation. “Yeah, of course they can. Th-that lady will know just what to do!”

Philip said nothing, but away from the godling’s imploring gaze, he bit his lip and just hiked on through the trails…

-

“Where’s the markets?” Philip felt his stomach drop as they approached the near barren square. At least, it was certainly more barren than it had been the day before…

People aren’t out here everyday, Arakate’s trill rang through his head. There were mainly a couple tents with carts of produce, and an unfortunate jeweler that was still vainly searching for some customers. Don’t forget, they have to restock. Tend to their fields, pick the herbs they sell for potions…

“Well how am I supposed to find that stupid witch then?” Philip snapped.

There is still Varuka, Arakate reminded, and this time her tone carried a bit of an annoyed edge. The cottage isn’t that far. We could easily make it by evening on foot. Shorter if we can somehow manage flight.

Philip bit his lip and felt sweat forming on his brow from the anxiety of the situation…and the fact that he knew options were dwindling if they couldn't find that healer. Luz needed medical care and she needed it now. Still, he shook his head adamantly. From this apparent connection he had with the blasted arachnid, he could feel her growing ire. “We’re here now. N-not only that, but flight would still be quite dangerous with the girl. She cannot even support her own weight and gripping your staff would be a near impossible thing trying to hold her.”

Eclipse was unmindful to the angry spider, his silhouette stretching up as far as he could manage to get a good view of the surrounding place. “Well….there’s a tent up ahead that’s set up next to where the old lady was!”

Philip looked over to where the shadow’s finger was pointing. Sure enough, he could see the glint of silver, and steel from setup armory. There was also an older vendor that vaguely resembled a reptile, and he did not look enthused to even be there. This should be fun…

Philip sucked some air into his cheek and sucked up his pride as he marched forward. He despised asking for help, least of all someone that was literally carrying weapons. His footsteps fell heavy and sunk into the wet ground, but the vendor didn’t even glance up.

“Excuse me, Sir-“

“Go away.” The voice was gruff and begged not to test it, but Philip still did.

“I said excuse me, Sir,” Philip repeated with an air of feigned politeness. “I was wondering-“

“I don’t sell to your kind,” the vendor growled once more. “Leave. Now.”

Philip felt a flare of indignation, but he smothered it. “I’m not interested in your wares, Sir. I was wondering if you knew where the healer is, the one that was set up in the tent next to you.”

“I told you to fuck off,” the reptilian blacksmith grunted. The gleam in his eyes suggested he was definitely thinking of ramming him through with one of those swords. “I ain’t telling your kind anything. Especially you.” He pointed a harsh and accusing finger towards Philip, and he saw hatred in his eyes. Other than in passing, Philip had never really interacted with this man…but something in his stomach curdled. He tried to fight it off.

“I won’t bother you further Sir,” Philip grit his teeth, tearing his gaze away from the hateful one that bore into his blackened heart. “…After this. Please, I need to know where the healer is.”

“Our friend is really sick!” Eclipse cried, springing up from his rock. Philip pulled back the obol protectively, even knowing that Eclipse was merely a shadow right now and this witch could do nothing to him.

It was difficult hiking the slipping Luz up on his back and handling Eclipse’s stone, but somehow he managed. “She is sick and she needs help.”

“The less of you the better,” the vendor grunted as he polished off his wares, spitting along the metal hilt and shining it with a cotton cloth. Both travelers gasped and Arakate hissed.

It took everything in Philip to keep from slamming his boot against the base of the table and send the metals tumbling. “You savage! You barbarian!” he shouted. “She’s a little human girl, how can you-“

“AND MY SON WASN’T MUCH OLDER THAN HER!” the witch roared. Philip fell into an immediate stunned silence, and he jerked back as if he’d been slapped. Eclipse’s silhouette darted behind his leg.

The reptilian sneered, and suddenly Philip could trace the features back to something with a more haunting…familiarity. “You think I don’t recognize you, but I do. My son was a curious one…but one day he met the wrong person. A man that took advantage of that curiosity…and naivety. I have no evidence, but I know. “

Philip felt his legs shaking, he could feel Eclipse’s confused gaze and Arakate’s…strangely resolute one. It took a moment before he could speak again. “…Luz is not resp-“

Before he knew it, before either of them could react, he felt a blinding pain in his stomach and was sent crashing backwards into the ground. Luz let off a weak, squeaky moan as she smacked against the ground. It took a moment for Philip to realize that he’d been slammed in the stomach by the hilt of a sword…and that the other side of it was now pointed inches away from his face.

The witch ground his sharp yellow fangs. “…Talk to me again and it’ll be the sharp end next time.”

Philip held his breath until the weapon was pulled away from him, and even after it was he remained in the wet grass for another few good moments, processing. It was only when he heard a small bleary sob from the bundle on the ground that he finally looked over.

Almost in a daze, the man mechanically scooped the teenager’s damp form into his arms and started to stagger away from the tent, and away from the almost empty market.

“…Phi-lip?” Eclipse asked slowly. “What was…that crazy dude talking about?“

Philip didn’t answer as he continued to limp his way back to the trail, and it was visible easily by the way he just aimlessly wandered in a half circle, that he had no idea where he was going. He didn’t know what he was doing.

Philip sunk down against the trunk of a tree, and he just sat there…with Luz in his lap. Luz’s breath came in shallow inhales, and each breath sounded clogged and thick and wheezy. Her fever made her uncomfortable just to touch.

The worst thing about this wasn’t the shadow's curious eyes that looked at him, but instead the multiple eyes that bore into him from Arakate. Her gaze wasn’t like Eclipse’s. It wasn’t confused and agitated with curiosity. Her expression…was grim. It was sad, and it was disappointed and…knowing.

“Philip I don’t understand…” Eclipse said in a quiet and meek voice.

Why did it matter? Why did he care? He didn’t care. No, he…he was just shaken at nearly being gored through.

“Help, a human? There ain’t enough snails for me to ever do that.” His ire had bloomed at the reaction from the crowd. A few had jeered, a couple had sneered, and most in fact, had just nervously returned to their business.

Blast it. Bloody charisma was a magic in its own, and one he never seemed to have a handle on, unlike Caleb. Caleb had been here long enough to have most of them eating out of his hand, but he had no such luck.

He’d been about to lick his wounds and prepare to try again another day, when a small wide eyed reptilian demon had approached. He looked to be about seventeen. His curious and excited gaze made the man resist a smirk. It would be easy to get his hooks into this one…

“I’m interested, Sir! My pops doesn’t like humans…but I think your kind is quite fascinating and exotic!”

If only the boy had caught the malevolent glint to his eyes, as Philip had feigned a diplomatic bow, and sweet words. “Not to worry, dear boy. Treat me with respect…..” He smirked. “And I shall return in kind.”

He’d been so eager for adventure that he’d trusted the scorpion…

Philip shut his eyes quietly. The weakly shifting form in his lap took his gaze and he quietly ripped off a part of his vest, dipping it into their canteen of water and applying it to her forehead. He wasn’t sure what difference lukewarm water would make. She flinched momentarily, but her muscles seemed to relax slightly…

His eyes were shut for a moment, contemplating. He heard what sounded like softer footfall through the muck, but thought nothing of it until a voice spoke up. It was older and soft, and right now it honestly coated his ears in honey.

“Boy, what are you doing out here in the wet grass? You’re the little group from earlier, aren’t you? Oh dear me…is your child alright?!”

Philip almost cried with relief. There she was, standing with her brows wrinkled in concern, and already bent down to his level to check on Luz. “I-it’s you! We were searching for you…”

“You’re lucky,” the healer sighed as she touched the girl’s cheeks with a calloused hand. Quickly she withdrew in alarm. “I had to pick some herbs for a potion order nearby. My cabin isn’t far from here. Come along, and I’ll see what I can do for the young one.”

Philip felt a chill as he tried pointedly to ignore the very quiet mumble of ‘if there’s anything I can do for her…”

-

“Sleeping Shade Indigo Cap Mushrooms?” Philip repeated incredulously, trying to make sure he got that mouthful right. They had Luz laid down on a cot in the elderly witch’s cabin. It was even smaller than Varuka’s cottage, condensed into mainly one room that split into an older kitchen, and what Philip supposed was the woman’s make do hospital.

“They’re an incredibly rare and lethal relative of the sleeping shade family,” the witch informed him as she helped the tired human to dump another bucket of ice into the pail of cold water they had perched beside the child’s bed.

“I’ve yet to find a relative of the sleeping shade family that isn’t poisonous,” Philip said tersely as he dunked the cloth into the water to let it soak and absorb the icy water.

“Well they all are, but unfortunately the fungal relatives of the sleeping shade are the most…potent.”

“Of course,” he muttered. “With my luck…”

“Although the gray sleeping shade herbs have their oils extracted for lethal dosages of poison, minimal drops can be used for a deep sleeping potion. Sleeping shade herbs are only dangerous if ingested, but the funguses are far worse. The slightest brushing against one of these dastardly things can set off a chain reaction of rashes that can kill a grown man in less than three day’s time. A child in...much less."

Philip went as cold as the bucket next to the teenager’s bed. “B-but how is this even possible?!” he spluttered furiously. “Luz has not ingested a sleeping shade herb. She eats puzzles….and I might have had to stop her from licking a frog—but she did NOT eat a sleeping shade herb! Or touch one of those mushrooms!”

“I don’t know if that’s true, Philip,” Eclipse pointed out.

“What are you talking about?!” Philip snapped. Suddenly, he remembered.

“Ugh those smell like gasoline!”

“How curious, I don’t believe I’ve seen those mushrooms before!”

He staggered, and was appreciative for the kitchen basin that was thankfully just a few paces away, which he found himself gripping onto as his complexion rivaled Luz’s. “It…it was me,” he mumbled faintly. “It was me.”

“Oh right, you pushed her into those mushrooms!” Eclipse cried. Philip shrunk into himself as the old healer turned slowly towards him, simply aghast looking.

“I didn’t know!” he snapped desperately. “And I didn’t push her into them! I pushed her, playfully! W-we were in a tree hollow!”

The witch gravely shook her head at him. “Oh-oh…that’s where they frequent the most.”

“THANK YOU for the tip, Orla!” Philip snarled venomously. He sat in one of the bedside chairs and wrung his hands out in distress. The progressing fuzz and what almost looked like spilled ink splotches had only seemed to spread up her skin, far beneath the rim of her shorts and creeping towards her feet. “So…what do we do now?” he asked helplessly.

Orla leaned over to check on the cauldron she had hissing and bubbling on the wooden countertop. The concoction smelled simply foul, but if Philip knew anything about medicine, it was that the worse it smelled and tasted, the better it was for you...Normal medicine anyway.

“So this will heal her. This will heal her then, it’s some magic drivel.” He nodded and watched to see if Orla nodded along as well. A tightening formed in his chest when she seemed to pause in her step, and then just…continued to the bed. “This will heal her,” he repeated loudly. “…Why aren’t you agreeing, you blasted hag?”

“Child, this might help with the fever,” Orla sighed as she spooned out a mucus green colored stuff into a small pestle and crushed it up a bit more. “But…that’s it. I…can do nothing for the fungal infection.”

“You’re a witch!” he cried furiously, shaking his head in disbelief. “A damned witch! If there’s anything good that’s supposed to come of you, at all, for this situation, it’s that you have magic! What good is your kind if you can’t even do that one cursed function?”

Orla pursed her lips in impatience, but chose to chalk his ignorance to his parental stress. “You have quite the narrow vision of our kind…but I knew that already,” she sighed. She bottled him up some potion and dropped a few other herbs into a homemade drawstring pouch. “I have a tent set up to tend to more minor illnesses and injury. Cuts, bruises….and I’m mainly a potion maker.”

She sighed as she looked back at Luz. Luz’s clammy hands were heartbreakingly reaching out for a blanket to drape over herself, but Orla had pulled them away with the spike of her fever. “What she needs is a disease specialist, someone that has studied various types of diseases and infections and has turned every mushroom and herb over in the realm just to find out its medicinal properties.”

Don’t say it…

“What she needs is Varuka,” Orla finished. Philip grit his teeth. “Varuka is the most powerful healer in this realm. She’s been studying for nine hundred years! Everything I learned I learned from that woman.”

Philip grit his teeth in desperation. He suddenly spun angrily to Eclipse. He was frustrated, he was terrified, and he handled it in the only way he knew how to—find someone else to target.

“And why aren’t YOU doing anything?!” he snapped. Eclipse looked taken aback.

“Me?!” they spluttered.

“You’re the collector! You’re supposed to be this all powerful being, supposedly one of the most powerful beings in the realm! What was the good in recovering you when you aren’t even strong?!”

“I am!” Eclipse snapped. His silhouette had grown five times the size, towering now over the smaller man that stood there defiantly. “But I’m also trapped! I’m in another dimension that can only project from a rock! I can….” He sighed and his shadow deflated. “I can pass on the knowledge that I know, and give instructions, but…I can’t do much from where I’m at!”

His options had been utterly exhausted, and Philip quietly deflated to sit on one of the stools. Eclipse paid no attention to him as he just floated quietly back to Luz.

Orla watched as Philip hung his head in his hands, barely perching his forehead up against both palms. “I knew I recognized you.” He froze until she continued, “When you were all at my tent earlier. I could tell I recognized you. One of Varuka’s boys. Quite easily distinguishable. I don’t think there’s many other humans but you and your brother.”

He’d turned away from her on the chair, and his pained gaze just took in every one of Luz’s ghastly features. This disease had already taken so much. Her tanned complexion, and the soft healthy pudge to her face seemed to have sunk in. Her skin was either whitened or blue… It certainly didn’t appear her sleep was peaceful either.

“…I don’t know what’s keeping you from going home to them,” Orla continued quietly. “But…this child needs more care than I can give.” She chose to pick her words carefully as she looked over at the silhouette of Eclipse.

Philip took in a deep steady breath. “Watch over her for a moment Orla. I…need to step outside.”

Numb, Philip made his way quietly to the door, and once outside, he slid down the side of the house. From here, he could see the cliffs of The Boiling Isles, overlooking a view of the sea. He could see the titan’s skull in the distance. He heard tiny legs skittering behind him.

“…This is all my fault.”

Arakate looked up at him. Philip…you didn’t know, his spider began hesitantly. You didn’t know there were mushrooms there and had no idea they were this poisonous.

Philip shoved himself up from the siding and shook his head angrily. “No! All of this, Arakate!” he cried. “Everything that has happened to this stupid girl since she got here is because of me! I am why she’s in this blasted place in the first place!” He paced angrily. “I’m the reason she’s even in this time! She came through that stupid pool to find me! I-I don’t know, for some information on getting home!”

He snapped a branch off of a tree, just needing something to throw. The dry twigs snapped as they hit the bark off another tree. “Every bad thing since she has come into this time that has happened to her is because of me! And do you want to know the best part of this?” he laughed brokenly, with bitter sarcasm. “It. Should Not. Matter to me!” He stabbed himself in the chest with his finger.

“I should be happy! All I have done since getting stuck with her is gripe about the fact that I’m stuck with her! That I can’t get rid of her…and now…now I am going to be rid of her. And I am not happy, and I cannot figure out why.”

He knew the truth. He knew he knew the truth of why he wasn’t happy. He knew the truth for why the thought of this annoying little beam of sunshine snuffing out like an extinguished candle, threatened to twist him into two. …But he wasn’t sure if he was ready to admit that one to himself yet.

“I should be happy.”

…..But you aren’t, Arakate finished quietly. Philip…it is abundantly clear to me that you care about this girl. He crossed his arms and he looked away, but he refuted nothing. That you care about…both of these children. You’ve spent today doting over Luz. I watched you spend two hours teaching them how to write in caligraphy, using up countless pages in your precious journal to let the girl practice.

Philip unconsciously gripped his satchel, where he could feel the bulk of the journal. This book…for so many years now, it had felt so empty even when filled with words. Deliveries of lies, the telling of the ghost of memories for a life that no longer existed. Now, at least ten of those pages were filled with messy scribbled attempts of letters of the alphabet, and even a page of her stupid little doodles…where she’d made fun of his beard.

You care about this girl…so I think you finally need to ask yourself something. How much do you care about this girl?

Philip looked up. Even through the broken shutters of Orla’s window, he could see Luz’s prone form. He could see the way her face was drawn up in pain, see the way her chest spasmed now and then.

….Do you care enough to face your greatest fear?

-

The tree beside Varuka’s cottage was always one of his favorite places to be. That one single tree to him, was like the rolling waves to Evelyn that she sailed across. It was his calming place.

It was one of those trees that, back in the human world, you might see a swing roped up to. Or, in a more grim set of lenses, a tree that you might see used to hold the swinging bodies of the accused. It was a deep red, and large enough that it towered the height of the cottage.

Everybody had things they liked to do in this tree. Evelyn worked on star maps, and would sit with Aasha and him many nights as they’d look at all the constellations. It was something Caleb used to do with Philip as well. Varuka had a garden that either she or Kiki tended to, and sometimes she’d sit and read. …Aasha of course just climbed it, fearless of the snapples that hung above, and even of that fire bee hive they had at one time. Thankfully, cotton bees had moved in instead. It always was adorable watching her play with the harmless little flying cotton balls.

The tree was full of carvings as well. There was a heart that Caleb and Evelyn had carved together, with a small engraving in their respective handwriting. An ‘E’ with so many fancy and eccentric curls, his simple ‘C’…and below it, a tiny, tiny little messy scrawl with an ‘A.’

Nana and Great Nana say it’s getting late!

Caleb nearly yelped as his daughter’s tiny body suddenly flopped onto one of the lower hanging branches he was on. He didn’t help her. He’d learned the hard way that trying to help her climb it would only produce an angered screech.

“Rah! Getting late! Supper time! Late supper!” her palisman screeched as the parrot’s large talons hung onto the girl’s shoulder.

Caleb sighed, but he gave a smile as he scooped his baby into his arms. Aasha squeaked and giggled with delight, her tiny nose rubbing against her father’s. Her straw colored hair was shoulder length like her mother’s, with two long braided bangs that cupped her face and were tied into beads at the ends. She had his fiancé’s beautiful green eyes, that he smiled into each time he looked at them…and she had a nose much too similar to his baby brother’s, and it made his heart ache just to look at it sometimes.

“Sorry sweet thing, I was just reminiscing…” As the five year old tilted her head to him questionably, he chuckled. “I’m thinking back fondly on things. And…thinking back to some sad things.”

Caleb cupped his hand softly over one of the tree carvings. It was an older, decrepit ‘P’, that his brother had begrudgingly forced into the wood just to please him. It was shafted off to the side, refusing to be in the heart Caleb had drawn with Evelyn.

“You’re lucky I’m carving the stupid thing at all,” Philip had angrily spat as he’d thrown down the tools and stormed back into the cottage. The P had faded with time, buffeted by their last storm. How fitting… Caleb choked down his tears.

Is it Uncle Philip again? Aasha signed sadly. Mimic jumped on her back. “Uncle Philip! Pippins! Uncle Pippins!”

Caleb laughed as he wiped his eyes. “I really don’t know how he’ll feel about Uncle Pippins, but yes.” It would be hard enough just getting the kid to accept Aasha. …Not so much a kid now, he supposed. It had been years, and although Philip had always made himself scarce, he’d heard rumors of a human man that was out there….dwelling in caves like a cryptid. Titan, did he hope those rumors were true.

You’re out here a lot, his daughter signed, and Caleb nodded.

“I know…but it helps me think.” He sighed. “It’s a good resting place.” The father smirked as he poked his daughter in the tummy, and she squeaked. “When a little monkey isn’t interrupting me.”

He shrieked, and slipped slightly as a slender wrist gripped a hold of his ankle. Twisting over his arm to look down, he made playful beady eyes at his beloved.

“Or a bird of prey…” Evelyn gave a few more tugs, and laughed as Caleb pouted and held onto the branch. “Hey, Nana says dinner is ready and she’s getting impatient. If she gets the wooden spoon out, I am not saving your ass…” A trail off as Caleb scowled and held Aasha’s ears. “…ortment of sweets,” Evelyn finished with an eye roll . “What are you even doing out here, starlight?”

“Just…thinking,” Caleb mumbled as Evelyn took up the last of the space on the massive branch.

“About the little twig?” she asked softly, and her expression fell as somber as his did once he nodded. Turmoil always filled her gaze. She felt the ache of regret with her grief. She always envisioned it - he flash of her anger, the magic she’d whipped at him…and frightened away a boy that had needed more understanding than they gave.

“I get it…yeah, that’s pretty normal,” Evelyn cleared her throat as she tried not to look at the faded, angrily scrawled ‘P’ on the trunk. “Miss when he’d sit up here and sulk in the tree,” she laughed sadly. “You know…refusing to come into the cottage, and refusing dinner. He always assumed it was poisoned.”

“It really is about to be poisoned if you miscreants don’t get your sorry rumps into the house,” a gravelly and angry voice spoke from the ground, nearly startling all of them off the branch. “Your Mother and I have bent our backs over this stew all day and it’s already getting cold.”

Varuka was a small stout demoness with maroon skin and two world weary heterochromatic eyes of orange and yellow. Her hair, actually moss colored hands, were drawn up tightly into two fists on either side of her head. It was slightly different than the one ponytail shaped hand of her daughter’s, and both of their hair was tucked up into a bonnet. The difference was in their faces; whereas Kiki had a younger and shapely face, her mother carried the wrinkles of the world, and the tribulations that had come with it.

“It’s congealed,” Varuka continued, in that same deadpan tone of voice. “Like the way your blood is going to be when it dries in a few days on my walls.” You could never tell when this woman was joking because of her delivery, and they never wanted to take the chance.

“Oy, we’re coming!” Evelyn huffed as she started sliding off the branch. She reached up to pluck Aasha, but the child started to screech, and wisely, she let her hands drop to her sides. “Come on Caleb.”

Evelyn held out a hand to her beloved, but Caleb didn’t take it. He was staring ahead, towards the direction of the grassy slope and winding trees. “Come on…” She smirked after a moment, and didn’t seem to catch the way his eyes had widened, and the way his limbs trembled. “What? Expecting to see something special? A shooting star?"

It took a moment for his moving mouth to get anything out that was audible. “Better…”

“Caleb?” Evelyn gaped as the man just dropped from the branch. He didn’t even climb down it, and honestly, he didn’t do anything less than catapult himself into the grass, surely bruising something. “Caleb, what the hell?!”

His feet hadn’t even gained footing, and he wasn’t even running so much as he was rapidly bear crawling down the hill on all fours, like a mad man. The speed of which he moved down such a slope caused him to tumble multiple times, but he didn’t care.

“Caleb!” the girls shouted after him. They were wiser and took the actual dirt path to give themselves more traction on the ground. They held their dresses up as they ran along the path. From this distance, they could begin to see what had caught Caleb’s eye. There was an approaching silouhette. They could see Caleb as well, just a few feet away from the silouhette and both stood still as a granite statue.

The girls reached the bottom, and the silver moon finally illuminated him.

Evelyn’s knees gave in and she fell to them in a crumpled flounce of fabric. Varuka’s own eyes had shot open and both hands were cupping her mouth, leaving no secret for once to what she was feeling. Aasha blinked in confusion, looking at everyone and wondering why they were reacting in such a manner.

Somehow, it was the two men that stood almost calmly…processing. Wide eyes took in each other’s features for the first time in half a decade.

The oldest stood taller now with his ponytail long abandoned. His jawline was more pronounced and it seemed he’d never replaced his coat. Somehow the one thing that never changed…were the same hazel eyes that stared at him with…so much unadulterated affection, that spilled out now in the form of steady tears.

And there the younger brother stood, carrying a wheezing bundle. He was still wrapped in his coat, the only life line he had of his brother. His scraped and dirty hands clutched a limp child so protectively, tucked nearly under his untrimmed beard. His own blue eyes lacked the spark of life Caleb had seen before. They looked empty enough that surely if he called into them, he would only hear an echo.

“…Philip…” he finally whispered.

“…Caleb.” Philip swallowed. He lost his voice. He wanted to run the moment he saw everyone's eyes gazing at him, with expressions that elected emotions much too complicated to be hatred.

He felt frozen into the grass, prepared to bolt into the other direction. It was the rattling from Luz’s chest that ignited a determined fire he had never felt, and finally gave him the strength to speak. “...I need your help.”

-

(DUN DUN DUN! Finally I return, and on a cliffhanger! Just imagine if I abandoned it after this lmao. No, I have no plans to abandon it, but chapters may be more sparse because of rl problems.

This chapter was going to include an illustration but I haven't felt like drawing so finally I just decided to post it. Next chapter may be a while, as it is very thicc with juicy plot.

So excited to finally include the rest of the gang! We have reached the first climax and turning point for this fic, and things are really gonna be picking up now~ Stay tuned!)

Chapter 6 - If I Stay- Luz experiences confusing revelations

Chapter 7- Brothers Can Be A Pain - Philip dreads the consequences of his actions

Chapter 8 - A God Fearing Minister - Repressed trauma of the boys is revealed

[not-poignant]

75/? - Underline the Black (omegaverse) - Efnisien/Gary

Title: Underline the Black Rating: Explicit Pairing: Efnisien ap Wledig/Dr Gary Konowalous Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Darkfic, Disturbing themes, Age Gap, Omegaverse, Alpha/Alpha, no Mpreg, Medical experimentation, Medical trauma, Dominance/Submission, Dystopian universe, Forced bonding, Forced relationship, Imprisonment, Nonconsensual medical procedures, PTSD, Flashbacks, Nightmares, Chronic illness, Mating cycles/Heats, Knotting, Miscommunication, Trauma recovery, Mind control, Child Abuse, Hope, Hopeful ending.

Summary: Efnisien ap Wledig is an omega born into an all-alpha family. Abandoned by his birth mother and raised by his aunt, he is subjected to a lifetime of medical experimentation and brainwashing and believes himself to be an alpha. But the experiments begin to fail, and he is abandoned yet again to an Omega Rehabilitation Facility, where the family expects he will be retrained into the ‘perfect omega’ and placed in an arranged marriage, or be eliminated if this is no longer possible.

The Facility don’t know about the experiments, and Efnisien doesn’t even know why he’s in there in the first place, since he’s an alpha…isn’t he? One thing’s for certain, he definitely doesn’t need an alpha companion, no matter what the staff at the facility seem to think.

Underline the Black - Chapter 75 - The Lare Body @ AO3

In which Efnisien experiences Gary as a lover on a level he's not prepared for, and finds it more overwhelming than he could have imagined.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this story possible!

The following early access extras are also currently available on the Augus & Gwyn, and Efnisien & Gary tiers at Patreon and Ream:

Underline the Red - 05 - Caleb/Faber Underline the Red - 06 - Caleb/Faber Underline the Gold - 07 - Flitmouse/Anton The Nascent Diplomat - 40 - Augus/Gwyn Constellations - 02 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Constellations - 03 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Constellations - 04 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Underline the Blue - 09 - Nate/Janusz Underline the Blue - 10 - Nate/Janusz Underline the Blue - 11 - Nate/Janusz

Want another way to support my writing? // I have a Patreon account! // Come check out REAM! (Patreon mirror) // Buy a Ko-Fi!

[rockislandadultreads]

Nonfiction Thursday: Native American Heritage Month

A Mind Spread Out on the Ground by Alicia Elliott

In an urgent and visceral work that asks essential questions about the treatment of Native people in North America while drawing on intimate details of her own life and experience with intergenerational trauma, Alicia Elliott offers indispensable insight into the ongoing legacy of colonialism. She engages with such wide-ranging topics as race, parenthood, love, mental illness, poverty, sexual assault, gentrifcation, writing and representation, and in the process makes connections both large and small between the past and present, the personal and political - from overcoming a years-long battle with head lice to the way Native writers are treated within the Canadian literary industry; her unplanned teenage pregnancy to the history of dark matter and how it relates to racism in the court system; her childhood diet of Kraft Dinner to how systemic oppression is directly linked to health problems in Native communities.

With deep consideration and searing prose, Elliott provides a candid look at our past, an illuminating portrait of our present, and a powerful tool for a better future.

An Afro-Indigenous History of the United States by Kyle T. Mays

Beginning with pre-Revolutionary America and moving into the movement for Black lives and contemporary Indigenous activism, Afro-Indigenous historian, Kyle T. Mays argues that the foundations of the US are rooted in antiblackness and settler colonialism, and that these parallel oppressions continue into the present. He explores how Black and Indigenous peoples have always resisted and struggled for freedom, sometimes together, and sometimes apart. Whether to end African enslavement and Indigenous removal or eradicate capitalism and colonialism, Mays shows how the fervor of Black and Indigenous peoples calls for justice have consistently sought to uproot white supremacy.

Mays uses a wide-array of historical activists and pop culture icons, "sacred" texts, and foundational texts like the Declaration of Independence and Democracy in America. He covers the civil rights movement and freedom struggles of the 1960s and 1970s, and explores current debates around the use of Native American imagery and the cultural appropriation of Black culture. Mays compels us to rethink both our history, as well as contemporary debates, and to imagine the powerful possibilities of Afro-Indigenous solidarity.

Canyon Dreams by Michael Powell

Deep in the heart of northern Arizona, in a small and isolated patch of the vast 17.5-million-acre Navajo reservation, sits Chinle High School. Here, basketball is passion, passed from grandparent to parent to child. Rez Ball is a sport for winters where dark and cold descend fast and there is little else to do but roam mesa tops, work, and wonder what the future holds. The town has 4,500 residents and the high school arena seats 7,000. Fans drive thirty, fifty, even eighty miles to see the fast-paced and highly competitive matchups that are more than just games to players and fans.

Celebrated Times journalist Michael Powell brings us a narrative of triumph and hardship, a moving story about a basketball team on a Navajo reservation that shows how important sports can be to youths in struggling communities, and the transcendent magic and painful realities that confront Native Americans living on reservations. This book details his season-long immersion in the team, town, and culture, in which there were exhilarating wins, crushing losses, and conversations on long bus rides across the desert about dreams of leaving home and the fear of the same.

We Refuse to Forget by Caleb Gayle

In We Refuse to Forget, award-winning journalist Caleb Gayle tells the extraordinary story of the Creek Nation, a Native tribe that two centuries ago both owned slaves and accepted Black people as full citizens. Thanks to the efforts of Creek leaders like Cow Tom, a Black Creek citizen who rose to become chief, the U.S. government recognized Creek citizenship in 1866 for its Black members. Yet this equality was shredded in the 1970s when tribal leaders revoked the citizenship of Black Creeks, even those who could trace their history back generations - even to Cow Tom himself.

Why did this happen? How was the U.S. government involved? And what are Cow Tom's descendants and other Black Creeks doing to regain their citizenship? These are some of the questions that Gayle explores in this provocative examination of racial and ethnic identity. By delving into the history and interviewing Black Creeks who are fighting to have their citizenship reinstated, he lays bare the racism and greed at the heart of this story. We Refuse to Forget is an eye-opening account that challenges our preconceptions of identity as it shines new light on the long shadows of white supremacy and marginalization that continue to hamper progress for Black Americans.

[barks-hideout]

So, I said that someday I’d upload ref sheets for my marvel ocs, but I never guessed that it’d be all at once 💀💀💀

here’s a summary of each (heads up folks, I’m pretty sure I wrote the sequel to The Bible)

Marley Underwood: She’s just a fangirl character I made for Smokey. I like to imagine she runs a blog or something dedicated to her. She likes to hang around the arcade that Cami works at, who is rather fond of the kid.

Captain StinkBomb: He’s an experiment like Rocket, being number 89R14. He snuck off the Higher Evolutionary’s ship and fled to Counter-Earth, where he lived his life as a small farmer in the woods. That was until the guardians showed up and CE blew up. He, obviously, was upset and blamed the guardians for what happened. Now he lives his life as a space pirate until Rocket met him and they became friends.

Chris Caleb/The Brown Recluse: I made a post a few months back with his story and spider suit, but basically, Chris was an orphan bitten by a radioactive brown recluse. Because of the untreated spider bite, he developed gangrene, but because of the mutation, any part of his body that rotted off instantly regenerated. He was adopted by my universe’s Doc Ock and became a superhero, all though, most of the crimes he stops are usually his dad’s.

Dom Lee Cho/The Sun God’s Disciple (hero name is still a WIP, would love better suggestions): I don’t have too much of a story, but basically, Dom was chosen to be next in line as a disciple of Haemosu, which is the Korean Sun God. His father, who was the previous disciple, was murdered by a jealous follower of Haemosu. Dom is hesitant to take the title, insert something about generational trauma and legacy, yeah…it ain’t much, but it’s honest work.

Miguél Rodriguez/NightVision: So, Miguél is basically an ex-con who is trying to get his life back together. He gets a job at Crystal Corporations, a tech company trying to change the world as we know it. One day, while cleaning up, Miguél finds mysterious crystal shards in the trash behind the facility and decides to take them back to his apartment so he and his roommate, Archer Dodge, can mess around with them. Realizing that the crystals have powers stored in them, Miguél takes this as a sign to become what he’s always wanted to be, a superhero. He and Archer work together to create NightVision and Miguél becomes a sorta micro celebrity in NY. His boss, a shady businessman named Giovanni, finds this out and coaxes Miguél into working together, making Miguél a poster boy for Crystal Corp. Giovanni, like any shady white guy businessman, is basically stealing Miguél’s hard work and claiming it to be his own, and when Miguél tries to call things off, Giovanni blackmails Miguél into staying with the company through Miguél’s criminal records. Miguél breaks things off and his crimes are exposed (I’m still wondering about the crimes in question) and Giovanni becomes the new “hero.” Looking more into Crystal Corp and its business practices, Miguél realizes that Crystal Corporation is using these crystals for Evil Shit (tm) so now it’s up to Miguél to take down the company, which he does, but Giovanni dies in the process. This leads to Miguél having an opportunity to become the new president of Crystal Corp. He rejects this, however, and gives the title to the Giovanni’s assistant, Sook Lee Cho (who happens to be Dom’s sister omgggg)

CatFish: There isn’t much of a story to CatFish yet, but here’s what I have so far. CatFish, legal name Kenny Campbell, was a kid growing up in the ghettos of Detroit. He lived with his single mom, who was an asshole to him, and never really cared for him, especially when he started questioning his gender identity. Because of this, CatFish would always get involved with gang violence and other legal trouble. This continued until an attack on the US was made from HYDRA, and a 10 year old CatFish was met with Dr. Edward White, who claimed he was part of a rescue team that was trying to help the children in the war. Of course, Kenny was actually experimented on and became the way his is now. While living his life in Project K wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, he’d rather be there under the command of Dr.White rather than go back to his mom, wherever she was. I mean, Dr.White was even nice enough to let Kenny transition, so how bad could he possibly be?

Amar Bucciarati: Born in a small town in Spain, Amar was either always bullied or babied for his blindness. He couldn’t go out without a ball to the face, or a kick to the shin, and he couldn’t stay in without his family trying to coddle him and do everything within their power to “cure” him. He couldn’t stand it. All he wanted, just once, was to be treated like a normal person. When he was 8, his town was attacked by HYDRA, and was left alone in the rubble of his home until Dr.White came to help. He was experimented on and developed telekinetic abilities. With these abilities, Dr.White taught him how to become stronger, and use his skills for spatial awareness to help him see. Since then, Amar has been nothing but loyal to Dr.White, and will always be White’s most faithful soldier.

Dr.Edward White: So, this is the moment you all’ve been waiting for. So, Edward was born in Tennessee as the younger brother to Chris White.

Growing up, Eddie was always an outcast, often being seen as “weird and creepy” compared to the charm of his brother. Home life wasn’t any better, with an abusive father and an exhausted mother, Eddie was always seemed invisible. He found one thing he loved, which was science. He always flourished in school, and was on his way to change the world. He became obsessed with the idea of superheroes, and wanted to,not be them, but make them. This obsession made his family rather…uneasy. Everyday Eddie would always talk about how he wanted to experiment on people, studying the human body and it’s limits, even going so far as to take live animals and “work” on them. This continued all the way up into his adulthood, being a successful geneticist and biologist, while his brother became a famous football player and was married to his wife, Clara, a nurse. On April 12th, 2005, Clara have birth to a beautiful baby girl, which the couple decided to name Camellia Anabelle White, the first name being after the flowers they were so lovingly given to them during their honeymoon in Japan. Eddie couldn’t explain it, but he felt such a deep connection the moment he laid eyes on his niece, one that he knew he wanted to keep. When Camellia, shortened to Cami, was growing up, her and Eddie became inseparable. Eddie would always teach her how the world works and take care of her when babysitters or her parents couldn’t, and would always indulge in listening to whatever his niece was fascinated with at the time.

The two would often visit an open field filled with colorful flowers and waste the day away with bliss until it was time to go home. If he wasn’t by Cami’s side, Eddie was at work. He would continue to conduct his superhero experiments at a little facility called HYDRA. If he wasn’t there, he was posing as a scientist for the government, and feeding the information back to HYDRA. One year, Dr.White got word on the possibility of certain people having a certain chromosome mutation that would grant the person superpowers, these people were known as “Mutants.” When the US found out about their information being sold to other parties, there was talks of war looming over the world. Eddie knew this, and used it as an opportunity to start funding a facility that was designed to continue the education of children in case war was coming, this building was known as Project K. Still hiding as a weasel for HYDRA, Dr.White was assigned a new task, “Make sure the war happens.” He and other scientists would start causing havoc amongst parts of the US, trying to provoke the government into war. Looking at all the people that were affected by the destruction that was being, Dr.White got an idea. “With the new research we’ve gotten on superhuman abilities, why not run experiments on the children of the war?” It sounded insane, ludicrous, but Eddie had an explanation. “People are always hesitant to war, but the children? The children would go out and fight anybody that took away their homes and families without hesitation! As for our opponents? What kind of monsters would they be if they were to hurt such sweet and innocent souls?” As crazy as Eddie was, he was also a genius. This was when Project K became a breeding ground for mutant experiments, where damages would be done, Dr.White would take the children, and run experiments on them. This pattern continued until White was given another idea. What’s stopping him from bringing Cami into the mix? August 19th, 2011, Cami was left at home with a babysitter, staying up late to watch her dad play in the championship game. She wanted to go, but her parents all wanted to keep their daughter out of the presses. Both Cami and her babysitter watched the game, cheering for the girl’s father…until an explosion went off in the center of the field, then another in the crowd, and another, and another, until the cameras shut off and the TV cut to static. Cami, being only 6, didn’t understand what was happening or why her babysitter was making such frantic calls to her parents. She only realized what happened when a tearful Uncle Eddie came home, but her parents didn’t. Eddie took her in to Project K, a few months after the funeral, and ran tests on Cami. The first thing Eddie needed was a blood sample from Cami to look into her DNA for the now known X-Gene. Unfortunately, she wasn’t compatible, not at first. Eddie remembered research he’d done on mutants and called back to a serum that would make people with a recessive X-Gene into a dominant one. He spent weeks perfecting the formula, and finally out Cami under the needle, or needles. He ran test after test on her, putting her body through straining tasks that not even adults could handle (if you’ve seen Deadpool, YOU KNOW)

Finally, Cami gained the ability to control fire, and what a glorious flame it was. Eddie continued getting kids and running tests on them, the facility now more productive than ever with the new serum being used, and started training the children to use their new abilities for combat. This was when he would then send out kids 12+ to their first battles in the now ongoing war, dubbed WWX. This wasn’t enough for Eddie, however, he wanted to aim even higher, and so, started running tests on his top soldier, Cami included, to push them to their genetic limits. These new types of mutants were called “Provectus,” meaning advanced in Latin. With the difference between them and normal mutants being that they now have a new subset of their original powers. This sparked another building called “Provectus Mundi,” or “Advanced World” in English. Where it was Cami and 9 other kids being held as the most dangerous of Dr.White’s army. Eddie and Cami’s relationship would continue to strain until a 15 year old Cami was snooping through old files in her uncle’s lab and found an audio recording of the night where her parents died, the night where Dr.White killed them. Eddie attempted to explain himself, manipulating her into staying quiet, but Cami wasn’t having it. She burned Eddie alive, leaving him disfigured so severely, that he had to replace parts of his body with tech. This lead to Cami wanting nothing to do with her uncle, refusing to listen to him any chance he got. Which, in turn made Eddie upset. In his mind, what he was doing was all out of love. After a mission, it was reported that Cami was MIA and Eddie was LIVID, going off in the rest of his niece’s team. This disappearance caused him to go off the deep end, becoming more violent and aggressive than normal, even at his angriest. He even went as far as to give himself mutant abilities just for a chance of growing strong enough to find Cami. This time period was also when he started research on another concept that had been swimming in the back of his mind since the beginning, the multiverse. He finds Cami in the current MCU timeline and starts building his own machine to successfully travel through the multiverse, finally being able to see his niece again. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily work. With Cami finding her strength and beating the ever loving hell out of Eddie, getting other mutants to slowly take apart the original Project K. Before his last breath, Eddie looked his niece in the eyes and squeaked out his last words

“I love you…so much Camellia…”

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 35

After Aeor, Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns to be a person separate from the trauma that shaped his life for so long, and begins the arduous process of preventing what happened to him from happening to anyone else. It gets far more personal than even he could have anticipated.

Chapter content warnings: general references to grief, loss of parents, Trent's child abuse, related trauma

Chapter summary:  The dust settles and life continues.

Chapter notes: Chapter title from Atom 2 by Sleeping at Last. Happy Mighty Nein oneshot, everybody. No oneshot spoilers here.

***

Chapter 35: And make infinite room for hope and oxygen

Things were better in the morning. Caleb busied himself with calculations for the language enchantment alongside Essek. He did, however, take a break in the afternoon to find Yasha and Caduceus working alongside Nico in the garden. The anxious animal inside Caleb quieted at the sight. He was not an optimist by any means, but he let himself hope both he and Nico would be okay in time.

Caduceus handed him a trowel. The calculations would keep.

He re-cast the Tower when it faded, quietly factoring in the new enchantment. He sat with Nico in the garden, drinking tea, and tried not to fret over it. Nico wasn’t talking much. That was okay. Caleb didn’t feel like talking, either.

Caleb used the quiet to get his thoughts in order. The biggest immediate hurdle had passed. Next up would be the intermediate students at Soltryce; Astrid had yet to fully confirm, but it was possible there would be Volstrucker students in the class… if their parents were convinced not to pull them out. It had been some time since Caleb had dealt with students at that stage of the process, not since his own time as a student. They would have been with Trent for a few months at most, but that was more than enough to cause problems. Trent had this down to a fine art. Those children probably still thought they were going to live glorious lives serving the empire. He wondered if they would resent him for taking away that imagined future.

Then, the support group. Besides Wulf and Astrid, Caleb hadn’t spent a lot of time around the Volstrucker who had completed the program. He was not convinced they would take him seriously, or if many would even show up. Maybe this had been a bad idea. The more stubborn part of him, however, did not want to give up without evidence to support a hypothesis in either direction. If it didn’t work, he would have a bit of egg in his face… but what would he really lose? If no one showed, all he had lost was some time, and perhaps a little dignity. He didn’t have much of the latter anyway. If people showed up and it was a disaster, well, at least they would know what not to do, and whether or not it was worth trying again. But if it went well…

Caleb was under no illusion that the fully-initiated Volstrucker would think much of him. He was, after all, a failure. That said, he knew so little about what his old friends and their colleagues had experienced; Beauregard had tried to shield him from that aspect of Astrid and Wulf’s testimonies, though he’d put some pieces together over time. There had to be other points where Volstrucker failed, fatally or non-fatally. The young woman in the Dungeon of Penance had been so ready to die. Eager, even.

And, maybe, there was a part of Caleb who hoped someone would… get it. Astrid and Wulf had eleven years of experience on him, plus the five-or-so additional years before breaking free of the man who turned them into monsters. They worked for Trent that whole time, while Caleb was insensate for over a decade, and then on the run. Maybe it was overly optimistic to hope he would find someone with an even remotely similar experience. He was not sure he’d know what to do even if he did.

The closest he knew, frankly, was Nico. But Caleb was the adult. The one with experience. The living proof that life went on. But, gods, if he didn’t feel lonely sometimes, even among people who loved him. Except Yasha, but even then…

He was definitely still a little fucked up from yesterday, thinking like this.

A light pressure on his shoulder pulled Caleb from his thoughts; Nico had dropped his head onto Caleb’s shoulder. They sipped their tea and watched a handful of honey bees hover around the cornflowers Yasha had planted. Caleb used to collect them in the fields as a boy; Una used to weave them into his hair, and Leofric into hers.

Over time, the weight on his shoulder grew heavier, until Nico was softly snoring. Understandable. Caleb was tempted to do the same, if not for the risk of disturbing him.

A quiet sort of day.

***

With the week wrapping up, Caleb was well into preparations for the intermediate students’ return to Soltryce. As planned, he would assist with the intermediate Transmutation class. As things currently stood, Alphira mostly taught the beginners in Evocation and occasionally assisted in teaching the upper levels as needed, but, honestly, many of the senior professors were close to retirement, so it was likely she would start taking on additional responsibilities soon enough. Caleb was fine not teaching higher level Evocation at this point; he probably needed more time before he could handle that.

Caleb met with Astrid, Bettina and Alphira at the end of the week. Hopped up on excessive amounts of coffee, the four of them were sifting through last year’s report cards and other assorted notes related to the intermediate students, who were to arrive over the next couple of days.

Astrid had separated the files related to the students who had been plucked out for the Volstrucker program and pushed them to Caleb. “These three spent a few months with Trent, before you distracted him.”

Caleb speed-read the files. Two boys and a girl. “What have your dealings been with them?”

“Lately? Speaking to their parents.”

“And?”

“This one.” Astrid pulled the girl’s file. “Annike. Her parents have been convinced to allow her back to class. She is a quiet one. She will need time to warm up to you.”

“We can give her that. What do any of you know of her interests?”

“She has shown some aptitude for Divination and dabbles in tarot card readings… sometimes during class time,” said Bettina. “I believe she grew up in a circus before her parents settled in Yrrosa.”

“Probably not by choice,” added Astrid. “Intel from the area suggests the circus fell into debt with the Myriad. Annike is not close to her parents, so she won’t relate to any family talk.”

“Circuses seem to find trouble in the Empire,” Caleb remarked, thinking back to Trostenwald.

“You want to have fun? Go to the Menagerie Coast. Speaking of…” Astrid pulled another file. “Eric’s family has moved to Port Damali and have refused all attempts to contact them. It is unlikely he will return to class. The Cobalt Soul have been notified and will keep an eye on him. There is not much we can do at the moment.”

Caleb couldn’t fault the boy’s parents for their decision. Hopefully the Cobalt Soul could prevent any magical incidents, maybe take him under their wing eventually. Or at the very least, they had books. Eric was still a wizard, after all.

“A shame,” said Bettina. “He was showing interest in Transmutation.”

Astrid pulled the third file. “This is Kaspar, a young half-elf from Bysaes Tyl. He is likely to return to class, but his parents are coming with him at the beginning of next week and wish to speak to you, Bren.”

Caleb knew enough about Bysaes Tyl–elven-ruled, reluctantly agreed to join the Empire in exchange for limited cultural autonomy, ruled by three elven elders alongside a Crown-appointed starosta–to suspect they were likely less than pleased to learn the intended future for one of their people.

“Anything I should know?”

“He has shown some interest in Evocation,” said Alphira. “He used to hang out in my office before Trent got a hold of him.”

“And the three of them as a group?”

“They were close, of course,” said Astrid. “They usually are.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I am not sure how they will fare without Eric. Report back to me what they are like in class.”

“Ja, of course.”

***

Nico had a bit of insight about the youngest crop. He seemed unsurprised that Eric’s parents had taken him away from everything.

“Eric is very close to his family,” Nico said that evening over snickerdoodles and some kind of spiced tea from Marquet that Jester had brought from the Nicodranas markets. “He wrote to them constantly. They’ll take good care of him; he’ll be all right. He will probably find his way to the Cobalt Soul on his own.”

That was comforting. “Did you spend much time with them?”

“Not much, but enough.” Nico broke off a soft piece of cookie and dunked it. “Trent was relying on us a lot in those last few months to teach the young ones the basics. It was babysitting, really. Many of his most trusted Volstrucker died in the war, and he was distracted. By you, I assume.”

“I did annoy him quite a bit eventually, ja.” The invasive Sendings had nearly sent him back to the madhouse, it felt at the time. But, in hindsight, it was a little gratifying that he had finally managed to get under Trent’s skin. “What else did you pick up about these three?”

“I assume Professors Weber and Winterheart already told you about Annike’s tarot cards,” said Nico. “She sometimes prefers to communicate with them instead of speaking plainly. Her parents seem like a pain in the ass. She is difficult to rattle, except when she is, if that makes sense. Eric was the only person who could talk sense into her on the rare occasion something got to her, so… good luck.”

Jester popped in, ostensibly to check on the batch of cookies in the oven. “Did somebody say tarot cards?”

“One of Trent's younger students grew up in a circus,” Caleb told her.

“Ooh, you should show her Molly’s cards.”

“We’ll see,” Caleb replied. Getting a look at Annike’s deck seemed like a good place to start, before introducing any other variables. “Do you have any insights about Kaspar?”

Jester checked the cookies and bounced out of the kitchen, flapping her hands in farewell. They both returned the gesture and then continued conversing as if nothing had happened.

“I’m pretty sure his mother is someone important back home,” said Nico. “He’s a weird choice for the program, unless Trent assumed the Empire wouldn’t care about pissing off Bysaes Tyl that much.”

“Or perhaps he had a reason to want her off the chessboard in a few years,” added Caleb.

“Ja, maybe. Kaspar gets anxious about his father’s health sometimes; I’m not sure if it’s just because he’s human, or if he’s ill. So, it might not have been a difficult prospect to take him out, and make losing both of them less suspicious.” Nico paused, and then pushed his empty plate away. “I need to stop making myself nauseous.”

“Ja, I think that’s more than enough. Thank you.” Caleb drained the last of his tea. “Yasha told me the market is strung up with new lights. Shall we take a walk?”

“Ja, bitte.”

***

Caleb spent the next couple of days ferrying the Nein back to their respective homes. Veth, of course, insisted Caleb and Essek stay at her place overnight. Luc spent the day running around and shooting things with his mother, so he was well and truly tuckered out by bedtime.

Caleb, as usual, allowed Essek to braid his hair before bed. He let one light globule bob lazily throughout the space, as Essek needed very little light to see. However, he did like seeing Caleb’s colours, which was not possible in the dark.

Essek kissed Caleb’s shoulder where his shirt had slipped; it had once belonged to Fjord before the Wildmother gave him muscles. So, a little large on Caleb, but not ridiculously so. A few more kisses followed the first, never quite in the same place. Caleb turned his head to kiss Essek’s temple.

“Freckles,” Essek murmured, his cheeks darkening. He straightened, cleared his throat, and finished off the braid. Caleb captured his fingers before they could retreat, and pressed a kiss on each knuckle… all fourteen of them on the one hand, counted, of course.

Essek chuckled. “Ridiculous man.”

“Were you not just counting my freckles?”

“...quietly.”

“So?”

Essek grabbed his face and kissed him. Caleb strongly considered casting the Tower to remove any possibility of someone walking in on them; he and Essek had split the teleportation spells between them today, and thus still had access to most of their more powerful spells. Wound as tightly as he had been of late, it felt like forever since they had last been physically intimate.

Essek was now in his lap, and Caleb made up his mind before all the blood in his body could travel south… as soon as he had a chance to move. Right now, though, Essek had drastically increased his density and there was no way Caleb was getting anywhere short of telekinetically moving the man bite-sucking a hickey on his neck, just low enough that his scarf would cover it.

Coming up for air, Essek said, “You are doing much better.”

“I will be, if you let me cast the Tower.”

Essek hummed thoughtfully. “In a moment, dear.”

[darius-dues]

November 15 – NPC Playlist

Caleb Belos was the previous Golden Guard for Emperor Belos on the Boiling Isles, as well as Darius's mentor. He allowed Darius to stay with him while growing up, and helped him navigate and climb the ladders of the coven system. However, one day, Caleb disappeared. According to Belos, he simply retired and moved away, but Darius is not so sure. What might have he discovered, and what happened to him because of it?

Sleep Alone by Two Door Cinema Club

He sleeps alone He needs no army where he's headed 'Cause he knows That they're just ghosts And they can't hurt him if he can't see them, oh

As the Golden Guard, Caleb was often tasked with hunting wildlife to gather materials for Belos's needs. While he grew numb to the killings, they never left him entirely. He was haunted over many years, especially in his dreams. He continued to tell himself he did what he needed to for the Emperor, and didn't look too deeply. For a time.

2. The View by Modest Mouse

As life gets longer, awful feels softer. Well it feels pretty soft to me. And if it takes shit to make bliss, Then I feel pretty blissfully.

Much like Hunter, Caleb started his position in his adolescence. The story of a young child being taken in by their powerful relative would become the story of the Golden Guard. It was even the story that he would repeat with Darius. But unlike others, Caleb was one of the longest serving Golden Guards, a position that he held for decades. Time wore on him and over the years he lost his illustrious shine and hopefulness in the system.

3. No Lullaby by Siames

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home? Where's the love when you were left on your own? So alone

Caleb does not remember much of his life before Belos. But his home must have been broken for the Emperor to "save" him, right? When he found Darius in a similar situation, alone and in need, he knew he had to step in and support the young sorcerer. In each other, they found a home and a family that their biology had not been able to provide.

4. Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber

Tears falling down at the party Saddest little baby in the room Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started I get a little gray hair for every scare you share

That being said, raising an adolescent when you have no experience with children is not easy. Caleb and Darius butt heads a lot, especially with the latter's teen dramatics, of which there were plenty. It was a bit of a mad house at times, but Caleb would have it no other way.

5. Sing for Absolution by Muse

There's nowhere left to hide In no one to confide The truth burns deep inside And will never die

Caleb's position often left him deeply isolated. Any conflicting feelings he had he could never speak of to anyone, not even Darius. He yearned for absolution, but was never able to find it.

6. The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy

Sometimes I wanna quit this all and become an accountant now But I'm no good at math and besides, the dollar is down Plant palm trees on Lake Michigan before it gets cold I gotta feel the wind chill again before I get old I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

There were times--times that Caleb was deeply ashamed of--where he would imagine starting over in a new place. Somewhere without magic, without politics, without the eyes of the Emperor on them. He wanted to bring Darius, and shield him from his own ambitions within the coven system, but he knew the boy would never stray from his dreams. Caleb loved Darius more than he was willing to acknowledge even to himself, and it kept him in a situation that would ultimately consume him.

7. Wake Up by Arcade Fire

Now that I'm older My heart's colder And I can see that it's a lie Children, wake up Hold your mistake up Before they turn the summer into dust

We're definitely starting to repeat some themes here, but over time, Caleb realized something was not right. He tried as best he could to convey this to Darius, without putting him in harms way. He would never know if or how his hinting ever got through to his protege.

8. I Can't Stay by The Killers

The emotion, it was electric And the stars, they all aligned I knew I had to make my decision But I never made the time No, I never made the time

Over time, Caleb began to look deeper. He knew he shouldn't. He knew it was dangerous. But he couldn't keep living his life like he was. There was some point where he knew his time with Darius was coming to an end. There were many regrets, especially not being able to voice what he was going through, but he made the most out of the time he thought he had left.

9. How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty

I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world, But its feeling just like every other morning before, Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone, The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

And then, it broke. Caleb looked too deeply and discovered something he shouldn't have. What happened for certain we may someday never know, but those last moments with Belos were intense.

10. Tomcat Disposables by Will Wood

Spring bloomed in the kitchen again So I crawled out of the wall and squinting Saw hope on the stovetop Just like I'd always imagined it More than I could eat My dreams were finally reality My struggles had a happy ending They must want to be friends

A song about a mouse that struggles to survive and dreams of a life of ease. When that finally seems to be coming true, the promised food is poisoned, betrayed by the creatures who he lived alongside. In many ways, this is Caleb's "retirement".

[wingkink]

-> thoughts post for m9 oneshot because i dont want ot make 85 indivcidial posts that get half a note each

puts up my sign that says "it has been [0] days since matt last used the wrong pronouns for his own nb npc"

sam is always doing some shit (derogatory this time)

also. sam not knowing hold old luc is has the same energy as matt not knowing how old vex and percy's kids are. lmao

also this is fucked like do NOT take the CHILD into the battle with you . we learned nothing from "SHE HAS SIX HITPOINTS"

where is essek. bangs my fists on the floor

actually forget him where is astrid. ASTRID MENTION !!!! FOR MY LIFE!!!!

blumentrio mention doesnt count altho appreciated^

not relevant but i think she should be evil. i think too many people want her to have a redemption arc or have her as like the good person (tm) on the assembly who is like a thorn in their side bceause theyre evil and she's not. no. she should be evil as well. and hot

SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO KLILL HIM SHE WAS RIGHT SHE WAS RIGHT SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i spent the whole first 10 mins of this stream thinking this guy was so annoying and now he's a guest player. was this show designed by someone who hates me personally or

"what sort of creche is this" and then blank looks from the cast is so funny. universal non american experience

hey i just had a coffee so this is going to get progressively more manic

ESSEK MENTION 🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙

"perhaps we were too easy on him" "well we'll have to kill him this time" YOU THINK/.??? YOU FUCKING THINK??????? you know who knew that? ASTRID KNEW THAT

anyway shut the fuck up . get essek

this aggy guy ius so annoying like you will never be Spurt

i accidentally posted this help anyway contuining

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO ok sorry that's kinda funny. like chris perkins did it better but that's sitll pretty good

ARE U GOING TO ok well they cant call essek. sending is broken. shit. well they can mind meld with essek or something idk

i want him so bad <- what who said that

using wish to cast simulacrum never done before in cr history (real) anyway is anyone thinking what im thinking? anyway

HOW DO U HAVE THE ENERGY TO CAST TELEPORT (to the grove) TELEPORT (to the nein heroez) THE TOWER MIND BLANK AND WISH. U DONT.

screaming wailing and banging my fists on the table because i want to see my wizards

^^ wait. sorry. the simulacrum could have cast mind blank. im sorry for the caleb slander wont happen again

if astrid isnt here im going to kill myusefl

idk what's gonna happen when tyey go in but i know it's gonna be less cool than what im imagining but im just remembering liam saying that he once thought the two bodies he'd take back to replace his parents would be astrid and wulf . do you guys ever think about that? i do

WHER ETHE FUCK ESSEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GAY

im shaking physically btw i think the autism ghost is tyring to escape. my body

NAW COZ WHY DOES LEOFRIC SOUNDS LIKE WULF i know it's bc matt is probably just doing "zemnian man voice" buyt come ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

insane that they would be in blumenthal in the house that the drei burnt WITH ikithon rehashing that last battle of campaign 3 and wulf and astrid ARENT FUCLING THERE. kills you kills you kills yo

im now picturing the debrief where caleb has to sit down and explain this to astrid tomorrow. i think she's gonna kill him

(wheres essek)

theres only 50 minutes left in the episode like i feel like this has barely started energy. hello

anyway astrid is so so gonna kill them like this cunt is killing people and you know how many people he wouldve killed if astrid had gutted him 7 years ago? 0 <3

god using her 9th level to summon artagan is so erotic. we stan

aww i miss the twins man

10 minuites to go.

insane pacing (derogatory). sub optimal number of wizards. not worth the time commitment. 0/10 do not recommend. goodnight

[sagaofstardustmkg]

Recollections // Nevros // 6.4. // Re: Ben, have a little guy

They’re sitting in the small teahouse at the top of the tower, the older man anxiously twisting his hands as they sit opposite from each other. Sardines and jam, and tea so atrocious it made Ben’s eyes water. Not exactly the most calming cafe experience, especially considering they were in the middle of the fear motive. “What’s your fear then, for the motive?” Nev’s tone is intrusive and curious. “My fear? Ah.. i-it’s an illogical thing. I wouldn’t want to trouble you with an illogical fear being made even more potent.” “Uhhh, illogical? I mean all fears are illogical, almost none of them make sense. Well, maybe getting eaten alive is a a rational thing to fear here, or getting murdered..” “I… I suppose it’s just –... Ah, .I'm worried about losing Pluto.” Nev’s not really sure why Ben sought out their company, not really sure why he came to trust them with his greatest fear. "Why? Why do you put so much on him?" Nevros scrunches their nose. They sorta already know the answer; because some people make you whole. Because some people make you better. Because some people you would try to kill someone for.

"Because I love him. He is the love of my life. I've never loved someone else the way that I love him. I've loved him for longer than I've not. I can't imagine my life without him, the world without him. It just...wouldn't be a place I'd want to be. Not without him. He makes the world beautiful.", Ben says very simple.

"I guess what I oughta say is 'I wish I'd had someone like that when I was alive'. I... I don't, not really. I want friends. I want Petrel and Mizukabe to be my friends again, I also like people a lot... but.."

"..."

"... That just sounds unhealthy.” ____________________________________ Unhealthy? Yeah, it sure had been unhealthy… but not in the way Nev had envisioned. Seeing the Timekeeper – or does he still prefer Caleb, no, that doesn’t matter, names out here are less about what you want them to be and more about what you truly are – walk among them and receive the dark makeover… well. Seems someone here has an unhealthy way of processing issues. Which is a bit much, coming from someone as inherently fucked up as Nev, but sometimes the pot can call the kettle black and be justified in doing so. King of Dance on Nev’s shoulder never stops dancing. It feels a bit morbid, as if it’s rejoicing the revelation of its creator’s true power. Nev, regardless, sets the little guy down on the table. It doesn’t really understand why Nev pushes it away and points towards Ben, but it happily teeters across the table to the cat boy, scampering to try and catch his attention. Nev doesn’t know any other way to comfort him. They recognize how much his very core has been broken, how deeply he has shattered and scattered, like a  fragmented painting of glass, every shard of him reflecting the darkest shade of violet, the shade of the owl’s eyes, the shade of Caleb’s robe.

Nevros recognizes a world turning upside down. They’ve experienced it themself a couple of times too many. But the only thing they know to do is extend a thing that makes them feel better, a child handing over a mudcake and telling you it’s going to make you feel better, hey, trust me, it’s made with love. Are all the little guys Caleb has made for them knowing it’s one of the few things he can do to ease their suffering? One of the few things that aren’t there to lead them to their demise? One of the few things that for sure won’t hurt people?

Are they made with love? At least the King of Dance is born from a wish for love.

[beatriceeagle]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series)

Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Characters: Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett, Bren Aldric Ermendrud, Original Male Character(s), Yasha (Critical Role), Essek Thelyss, Astrid Beck

Additional Tags: canon compliant through Mighty Nein Reunited, canon inspired through Echoes of the Solstice, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, technically this is kidfic in both senses of the term

Chapter: 6/24

Summary: Six months ago, Beau adopted a teenager who loves the Cobalt Soul, but can't stand her. Ten minutes ago, Caleb accidentally summoned his own teenage self into his living room. So you know, they're both going though some shit.

At least Caleb's got experience befriending novice monks with attitude problems. And Beau's got experience befriending Caleb.

Chapter Summary:

Jasper learns a new card catalogue system; Bren gets a people's history of Kamordah; Beau runs into dead ends.

_____

The library, like the rest of the campus, was empty of people, save a very bored clerk who waved them past when he recognized Caleb. Other than that, it didn't seem so different from the Soul's library: tall shelves, old books, tables and chairs and a thick smell of paper and glue. But where the Soul's library and archives held everything they could get their hands on, Soltryce's was dedicated to one thing and one thing only. Magic. The shelves were labeled with a numbering system Jasper didn’t know, and Caleb called out the subjects as they passed them by. Evocation, transmutation, enchantment. Components, somatics, verbal spells. Cantrips and ritual casting. Magical items and magical focuses. History of magic and magical theory. Magic wasn't a particular interest of Jasper's, but surrounded by so many books and words about it, he could imagine a world where it was. Where he spent his days in a library like this, copying spells and absorbing magical theory. 

He'd always been like that—drawn to the romance of different lives and interests as soon as he heard about them. Only monkhood had ever stuck, though. 

"Do you notice anything missing among the subjects?" Caleb said. 

Lots of things were missing. Anything outside of magic, obviously, but that probably wasn't what Caleb was looking for. "Aren't there… you know, other kinds of magic? Like clerics and stuff?" 

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