#ʚ ✿ ɞ venting

[lacedfangs]

just give me attention i dont care if you hurt me

[rottingbunnyheart]

I’m just so tired. I want to be left alone to sleep forever.

[failure-girl-fuyu]

i hate getting violent urges whenever someone talks to me and im in a slightly bad mood. i wanna hit, stomp, kick and break, but thatll get me in trouble, so my only outlet is grabbing the blade or if there's no one to hear use my fists on my legs and hope itll make bruises (it never does, my capillaries are too strong ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡)

[f4ilure-g1rl-fuyu]

i hate lacking empathy but at the same time i hate it when i do have empathy. why can't i just care for people when i have to? why do i still feel completely empty even when someone close is having a breakdown? i can't bring myself to feel almost anything other than a void, might as well slice and burn our skin to feel at least some pain

[moenxs]

I hope you feel better! What sort of things do you feel are rampant in the rpc? Do you think they are things that are easy to improve?

oooh boy now THIS is definitely going under a read more because the yapping i'm about to do....

Let me start off by saying a lot of things "wrong" with the rpc are easy to improve as a whole but much harder to improve individually since really a lot of this comes down to individuals and a "vocal minority" in a sense.

I think there's a lot of underlying elitism as a whole in the rpc whether its purposeful or just a byproduct of existing on this site. And a lot of this also results in a very "cliquey" vibe that stretches across every fandom. Now I'm not saying that having a friend group that you tend to prioritize a bit is bad, we all do that, i mean going out of your way to exclude people that try to extend a conversation of interacting, especially if you happen to be mutuals with them.

And I get that OOC interactions can be a little rough especially when social interactions can be hard for people, but if that's the case, then why be mutuals with someone if you're either not going to reach out first, OR interact with them at all if THEY reach out first? Idk that whole thing is just frustrating to me and I think that it's something that definitely needs to be improved on as a whole.

This next thing is just a little more personal and to some people i might sound like I'm whining but it's genuinely an issue with roleplay as a whole and not really just on tumblr.

The topic of a strange aversion to female characters, and OCs. And particularly female OCs. I talked about this with a mutual briefly earlier and they helped me feel a little better about speaking up on this. To be blunt, it still sucks to be an OC writer on tumblr, especially if it happens to be a female OC (don't even get me started on female CANONS though lmao that's a whole other convo-) and especially if you're not really "popular" within the rpc already.

I quite literally have one of my blogs on a momentary hiatus because he was getting a little too much attention. Meanwhile it was nearly crickets here at one point, and I won't lie it does hurt quite a bit. But I'm not going to blame everyone entirely, people have their preferences and that's understandable.

As someone who is a cis woman, i started out on tumblr writing female OCs, and slowly when i found myself getting more comfortable writing male OCs I also found myself getting more consistent interactions. It felt like people were actually getting excited to write with me. And younger me was loving it! I didn't even realize anything was weird as I eventually transitioned over to just writing male OCs entirely for a time. Female OCs still existed on my blog but they were collecting dust.

It wasn't until recently (post 2020 ish) that i really dived back into my female characters and it was around that that I had started to notice the trend as well. I dedicated myself to female OCs in particular and I noticed a pretty steep decline in interactions as a whole. Yea, maybe you can say it was a coincidence until I started writing a male OC again and things steadily increased once again.

Also, I dearly love interacting with other people's OCs, wholeheartedly so. But who wouldn't want to interact with a canon character as well? Other OC writers are extremely welcoming, I've rarely found someone that actively writes OCs more often than not that's not sweet as can be (there are exceptions but i won't get into that).

I've noticed though that (not all obviously but it's definitely a chunk) a decent bit of the elitism that I mentioned before comes from these canon writers. The ones that are "popular" and are actually well known in the space, while most can be just as nice, there's that "vocal minority" that can easily leave quite a bad taste in your mouth.

Like i said, it's a pretty vocal minority. Most if not all of my mutuals that write canons are absolutely not in this category. But still there are some that-

this is going to sound so bad but i promise it's not it's just that i cannot find a better way to word this-

Make me as an OC writer, idk, feel lesser? Like if i'm not one of their close friends that also happens to write an OC it feels more like it's simply an obligation to try and write with me than it is a mutual "excitement" i guess.

I don't know, it's just that even with some mutuals, there's a lack of mutuality and sometimes it makes me wonder why we're even mutuals. Maybe that's just a bit of insecurity talking but honestly at this point it's just incredibly frustrating than it is disheartening anymore.

Like, I do not care how slow you are as a writer, I would just be happy with some sort of reciprocation OOC???? I don't know if that sounds entitled, I know people have busy lives but to see people boasting about ships or plots that theyve been talking about with other people when I've been trying actively to plot with them or even just converse with them is also now more frustrating than disheartening these days lol.

ANYWAYS HAHA

yea that sure was a yap session and a half, I don't know how many of you will make it to this point but if you did thank you so much for hearing me out and hopefully I didn't really offend anyone that badly at any point LMAO

[literally-love-sick]

i feel disgusting

[littles-in-a-trench-coat]

Intro

All likes come from @i-have-too-many-names

Please read rules and DNI before interacting or sending messages/asks (under the cut)

This blog is an alt for all of our littles and regressors to post, along with their/our caregivers. Our main blog is @vampiriccollective. Were are open to (RESPECTFUL) questions and asks. As this is a new blog, people will be making their intros gradually, please be patient. None of us have any trouble with doubles, and most of us are fine with / open to source mates, if someone’s personal intro says otherwise, respect that.

Littles

Hunter (He/They/Xe) - Fictive, age hazy, 🐦‍🔥/🍁

Perri/Peridot (She/He/They/It/Xe/Zir/Alien/Star) - Fictive, age regressor, 👽

Ushka/Mimi (She/They/Doll/Kittie/Bun/Paw/🌀/🎀/🧸/🫧) - Fictive, age pet and doll regressor, 🩵

Powder (She/They) - Fictive, ageslider , 🦈

Kai (He/Xe) - Brainmade Intoject, age and pet regressor, 🦊

Goob (Any pronouns) - Fictive, age regressor, 🐶 (@goobert-ploobert )

Eli/Eliot (He/They/It/Pup/Woof/🐾) - Brainmade, pet and age regressor, 🐾

Blue/Blueberry (He/It/Blue/Star/Berry/⭐️/✨/💙/🫐) - Fictive, little, 🫐

Alden (He/They) - Brainmade, middle, 🪶

Kai (He/They) - Brainmade, little, 🪶

Felix (They/Them/Any) - Brainmade, animal regressor, ❄️

Icarus/Tom (He/They/Faun) - Fictive, regressor, IWEC, 🌕

Caregivers

Glisten (He/Shimmer/Any) - Fictive 🪞 (@glistening-r0ses)

John (He/Him) - Fictive 🐻

Springy (He/They) - Fictive 🚸

Adrian (He/Xe) - Brainmade 🧱

Rules (-🧱)

1- No syscourse or fake claiming ANYONE

2- None of us owe you anything (regarding sources, traumas, or opinions on things)

3- Not a rule, but alters are not their sources!

4- Respect boundaries in EVERYONES intros

5- Please use tone tags, not required, but appreciated

DNI (-🧱)

Homophobes, racists, terfs, radfems, transmed, anti xenogender, anti neo/xeno pronouns, anti age/pet regression, anti therian, anti otherkin, syscourse, NSFW or kink blogs

Proxys and Tags

Blurry/Other - 👤 /Blurry + 👤 / Other

Hunter - 🐦‍🔥 / Hunter + 🍁 / Hunter + Wolf Kid

Perri/Peridot - 👽 / Perri + 👽 / Peridot

Ushka/Mimi - 🩵 / Ushka + 🩵 / Mimi + Kitty

Powder - 🦈 / Powder

Kai - 🦊 / Kai + Little Fox

Goob - 🐶 / Goob

Blue/Blueberry - 🫐 / Blue

Alden - 🪶 / Alden

Kai - 🪶 / Kai

Felix - ❄️ / Felix

Icarus/Tom - 🌕 / Icarus

Glisten - 🪞 / Glisten

John - 🐻 / John + 🐻 / Price

Springy - 🚸 / Spring + 🚸 / Springy

Adrian - 🧱 / Adrian

ʚ♡ɞ ~ Intros - introduction posts

ʚ♡ɞ ~ Vents - vent posts (will provide triggers before the cut if needed, interact with care on these posts)

ʚ♡ɞ ~ Source - posts about source, or source memories

ʚ♡ɞ ~ Boards - Stimboards (usually reposts from other blogs, or goobs)

[sw33tecstasy]

Mothie diary..?

Pupi doesn feel right..mnn..somfins wrong pup thinks..? Pup nuh no how explain its pup jus no feel ok, feel icky, pup no like this..want it go away, pup doesnt like feeling like this when pupi..pup space supposed to be safe...mn pup does nots feel safes...pup wana poof..?

➷✾◌@cryo-berry ｡:･ﾟ☆ <- this is pup's puppy boy btw

[rottingbunnyheart]

‘omg you’re so kind, you’re so empathetic’

Thanks lol it’s fake and I don’t actually give two shits about you. I do it so that you’ll constantly praise me and know how much better I am than you but the recognition is appreciated you dumb fucking bitch.

[failure-girl-fuyu]

why are they ignoring me again. what did i do this time. why isnt it telling me anything. i didnt do anything. i hate xem so fucking much i want to push fae onto the road or kick them or hit them or–

[f4ilure-g1rl-fuyu]

deleted our 30 days til graduation post because i don't want people reblogging it

[moenxs]

This is just a lil vent that i need to get out after therapy yesterday lmao.

let me preface this by saying this is not about anyone in particular but just something I've noticed over the last few months-

Okay i don't know if it's just me being a chronic over analyzer or like, is it really hard to properly talk to people in the rpc??

not that i don't understand that people have livelihoods outside of roleplay and writing because of course, that's a given and very much an expectation these days

i just mean more in the sense of like, sometimes it just feels like talking to brick walls sometimes? Like especially when it comes to trying to plot with someone. my gripe with this I guess is the fact that a lot of the times these same people are posting constantly about how much they'd like to plot with people and yet at the same time, it's like I'm the one doing all the work when it comes to approaching or even guiding the conversation.

which is especially rough considering i'm still not the best at plotting in general.

I hope this doesn't come across as just straight up complaining because I do get it that it can be hard to talk to new people or just in general but I just wish that people would put the same effort i do into cultivating a friendship of sorts.

It's the mutuality that I just think is missing and i don't know if it's because i'm a strictly OC writer, if maybe I'm too forward when messaging??? or maybe it really is just the other person and I'm just doing my best.

Idk i just wanted to get this off my chest because I've been sitting with these feelings for a little bit now and normally i wouldn't post something like this but i dunno maybe there's a mutual that feels the same way and needs to feel heard as well?

This will probably get deleted at some point within the next few days but hopefully this doesn't come off as entitled or anything, I'm pretty bad at describing these kinds of things in a way that doesn't sound horrifically blunt QAQ

[literally-love-sick]

i dont think i like loving so strongly anymore. it hurts

[always-andromeda]

-

Like a lot of other folks, One Direction was very special to me. Growing up as a somewhat Evangelical Christian, I was taught to view a lot of music and media as "worldly" and, to a degree, sinful. Sure, my mom occasionally let me listen to Fiona Apple, Rihanna, and the Black Eyed Peas. But outside of that I wasn't really allowed to engage with a lot of stuff that my peers did when I was younger...unless I did it in secret, of course.

Listening to One Direction was one of the first times I broke away from that fear and let myself love something people had told me I wasn't supposed to love. I used to lock myself in my bathroom and watch their music videos, interviews, and crack compilations on YouTube, hoping I wouldn't be caught. The first friend I ever made in middle school was with a girl who used to cut their faces out of teen magazines and carry them in a little tin with her. I used to read One Direction fanfics all night and go to school exhausted. I'd dream about one day growing up and getting to go to a concert like so many other girls did at the time.

It's so dramatic to say, but for the first time in my life I felt like a real person. When you're raised in a culture that deliberately discourages its children from discovering their identity for themselves, something as simple as being a fan of a band is a massive exercise of your agency. At least it was for me. It was one of my first steps to figuring out who in the world I was at that age.

So while I, as a twenty-three year old person, can look at Liam and recognize that he was a terrible man, the thirteen year old girl in me is heartbroken. And it's not even really about the fact that this man did horrible things, though that certainly is a factor. I think my heart hurts more for Maya Henry, who is already being blamed by a loud minority online. My heart hurts for Liam's son, who just lost a parent. My heart hurts for the teenage Liam, who very openly struggled with his mental health and addiction and was in an industry that exasperated both.

I don't know. This is all incredibly parasocial and makes me sort of re-evaluate the place that celebrities have had and currently do have in my life. I've always prided myself on not being one to idolize them. But this one hits a lot different than pretty much any other celebrity death I've heard about. I sincerely cannot think of any other time I've felt like this.

Normally I wouldn't post this. But part of me just wants to offer some reassurance to anyone who's been feeling similar things right now. Because I've already seen plenty of jokes and people folks taking this hard stance that it's weird to feel any sort of sadness or internal conflict about any of this. The fans were sold a specific image of these boys. And I don't think we can be entirely blamed for buying it. We were kids. And so were they. But we're all older now. And I don't think think there's any shame in giving that kid inside of you a hug. Take care of yourselves, friends.

[bloodiedelbows]

blehhhh therapy appointment todaaay.. not really a bad thing at all but i just dont wanna talk? its weird to explain but even though i need help i dont wanna talk about my problems.

[blood-loving-leech]

tw sh

i’ve been clean for the longest time since i started shing 4 years ago

my old record was two months, 1 week, and 2 days, and that was in 2022 but i’m almost certain its been longer now since i last did anything but the urge is coming back for no reason like im better than i’ve been in years idfk what’s happening