#‘​‘blorbo. that one’’ ‘‘that one?? you have like fifteen others just like it—’’ ‘‘THAT. ONE.’’

[butterfly-buck]

so about that neurodivergent clown show

still frame

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I’ve seen a few metas now that describe Crowley as self-loathing and…that’s not quite it to me.

Crowley for sure has Issues. He has a lot of anger and doesn’t always deal with it in constructive ways. He is hypervigilant as all fuck, and the fact that he is almost always correct about the amount of danger he and Aziraphale are in at a given moment just reinforces that hypervigilance feedback loop.

He has the hair-trigger flight response of someone who has spent millennia dodging oppressive forces that are more powerful than him, and this makes him default to RUN even when on some level he knows that is not the right response to a situation. He’s very aware that there are a lot of people out there who can hurt him, and there is no one coming to protect him. The only option is to try to avoid the blow.

And he is absolutely terrified of rejection, for very understandable reasons. This also encourages him to have one foot out the door of a situation, to pretend he doesn’t care, because if you leave first and actually never cared at all then you can’t be hurt. He is painfully aware that good things can be taken away from him without warning, that love that looks absolute can turn out to be conditional, because that already happened to him.

But. As much as I love a self-loathing blorbo, I don’t think Crowley hates himself.

Sure he talks a good game about how he’s not nice. But I don’t think, for example, that he thinks he is unworthy of Aziraphale’s love, that he is not good enough for Aziraphale because he is a demon or for any other reason. Because as far as Crowley is concerned, angels and demons are the same! All that good and evil stuff is just names for sides. I think he is afraid, because he’s still not sure, after all this time, if Aziraphale feels the same way he does, and broaching that topic is an enormous risk compared to just staying in the ambiguously-defined status quo they have now. (And then he works up the courage to do it anyway, and seems to have his worst fears confirmed.)

FWIW, I don’t think Aziraphale thinks that Crowley is not good enough for him either. Not at all. But I think Crowley might think that Aziraphale thinks that after the end of s2. And that really stings, because as much as they both gave lip service to the idea of “I’m good, you’re evil,” I think Crowley always assumed that Aziraphale saw through that when it came to him as a person, that it was just something Azirphale said and not something he really believed about Crowley, and now he’s not so sure.

I also think Crowley believes he did not deserve his fall (hot take: none of them did) not because he is extra-special Good, but because that’s a fucked-up thing for someone who said they loved you to do. While he is clearly still dealing with the trauma of it, I think he knows by now: I shouldn’t have been hurt like that. I didn’t deserve it, and it wasn’t my fault.

And so the horror of Aziraphale accepting the offer of going back to Heaven is partially I thought we both understood how this system works; I thought we were on our own side together and partially I can’t believe you’re going back to the people who hurt you and at least a little bit I can’t believe you’re going back to the people who hurt me. Do you think they were right?

(And Aziraphale doesn’t! He doesn’t think that! He thinks they were wrong, but he thinks they were wrong about Crowley, that it was an individual mistake and not a feature of a system that squashes questioning and nonconformity of any kind.)

I wrote a whole meta about “I won’t be forgiven, not ever” and “unforgivable, that’s what I am” in 2019 that I won’t rehash here, but tl;dr, I don’t think Crowley is saying that as a statement of his self-worth. I think he is saying, Heaven would never let me back in, and if they did, I wouldn’t go. Because I don’t want or trust the “acceptance” of people who don’t value me as I am.

And it’s part of the cruel dramatic irony of the Final Fifteen that one of the things that breaks them apart is that Crowley values himself enough not to go back to Heaven. Crowley, who we’ve seen will do almost anything for Aziraphale, says, No. I am not putting myself back in that abusive situation. You shouldn’t either; I really wish you wouldn’t; but if you do, I am still not going back there. Not even for you.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Celebration: 88,978 Words in One Day!

Just yesterday, a few other LU writers and I, Hot Cheeto Hatred, hosted our first ever monthly (hopefully) Write-a-thon! This event ran on June 4 from 12 am EST to 12 am EST, with one goal in mind---write as many productive words within that day as humanly possible. Words included in the final marathon count ranged from storyboarding, fic writing, editing, answering comments, journalling and homework---basically, any words that furthered yourself, the writing community at large, or your stories. We utilized either the Discord Sprint bot or self-reporting to collect the numbers at the end. Everyone involved gave it their all, with most of them being present for most if not all of the run time as they were able, and I'm so proud of their dedication towards their craft. Anyways, here's the final breakdown of the numbers below, as well as the awards and titles earned by each participant, as decided by the discord server (and myself at random).

Now onto the awards:

I am pleased to report that @not-freyja (Freyja above) won the "Writer of All Time" Award, pulling ahead with 20,565 of our total words. What an accomplishment! Freyja participated from dawn to well, dawn, and they absolutely deserve all praise and awe.

I'm giving myself, @hotcheetohatred (Cheeto), the award "Writer of Some Time," as I fell behind our lovely Freyja by a mere few hundred words fifteen minutes before the clock struck midnight. Next time, Freyja, next time...

The "Actually A Writer" award goes to @marcusdoodlesalot (Marcus), who, despite the name, DOES actually write, not just draw! Who would have thought. Not Freyja, that's for sure.

The "Early Bird" award goes to @lerikwrites (Lerik), who solely sprinted in the wee hours of the morning (my time, at least). Terrible. Good job.

"Star Commentor" goes to @elle-rosewater (Eliot), because I stole most of her words for the count from my own comment section in the BDOR Prologues. We love you, Eliot :3 Can't wait to see you next month.

"Cheerleader" goes to @la-sera, who gave us much encouragement throughout the day. I stole your 19 words from you saying you were excited to read Estelian's work. Hope that's okay, because I really wanted to include you---you provided a lot, even if you didn't write with us this time <3.

@whumpitywhumpitywhumpity (Dowsemaxxer) earns "Spirit-ed Storyboarder" for all of his lovely, informative talk on Spirit and just what makes him so great as a rather underappreciated LU boy.

Two awards next! "Chief Editor" and "Most Student" both go to @unexpectedstormy (Stormy) for faer work on getting. stuff. done. Fae did a steady amount of work, so proud.

"Editor (of Word Count) in Chief" goes to @tashacee (Tash), who, at reporting time, was scrounging up 100 and 200 word bits like spare change while I desperately tried to do math. I love you, never change.

The title of "Specter" goes to @somer-writes (Somer), who logged in very few sprints, but participated with the rest of us and pulled up at the end with a whole 7.5K words and a bunch of fics to post at the end, with a lot of it being Ghost AU! He's amazing.

The award "Better Late than Never" goes to our resident artist and recently turned fic-writer @estelian-01 (Este), who joined only in the last half of the marathon but managed to pull a whole 4K! Pictures might be worth a thousand words, but Este wrote a couple more anyway.

@across-violet-skies (Riv) gets the title "Mover and Shaker (of Blorbos)" for managing to participate and get quite the hefty wordcount only a DAY after moving. They're a trooper, that's for sure.

@anime-obsessed (Vio/Nene) earns the award "Most Old School" for writing with pen and paper for most of the day. Please go rest your wrist after all of that.

The award "Head in the Clouds" goes to my bestie and beloved beta reader @needfantasticstories (Skip), who spent the day listening to music and writing Skyloft drabbles. I am nervous/excited to see if those drabbles turned out fluffy as a Loftwing, or perhaps into something more angsty.

@noorahqar (Qar), my lovely fragile Victorian wife, earns the title "Chatty." You know why. But you were there nearly all of the run time, and so engaging and encouraging throughout---a blessing to us all. And even then, you managed to pull so many words. I'm impressed.

And finally, @rosehipandroots / @rosetintedtears (Rose) receives the titles "ndskanefnre" (self chosen) and "Birthday Santa." The first was borne of panic of being asked to choose a title---the second of her relentless effort to get her birthday fics done. Great job.

I'd like to thank everyone that I tagged for participating in the write-a-thon, and thank all of you for helping me draft this post as well. If I messed up any word counts or details or pronouns, you want to request a title/award change, or I missed someone, please DM and let me know! The next Write-a-thon will be held on July 1 from 12am to 12am GMT, and we'll be trying to beat our record. Can't wait to see all of you then!

[imshymorph]

Gather around everyone, here’s some soft!Gaz headcanons. Idk if it's a blorbo or me ranting and fangirling but i need to share the brain rot. another post today cause fuck it, i’ve been thinking about it for a while. also this was like a constant stream of thought and not proof read.

I truly don’t understand why this man gets ignored so much and I never will. He literally has everything you could ever want, saying he’s a ten doesn’t cut it. And yet I barely see people talking about him. (Except the gaz nation pookies, I see you).

This man absolutely bags the hottest significant other, doesn’t even know how. Don’t get me wrong, he 100% has rizz but he’s also just naturally attractive and inviting so i feel like by the time he starts to flirt on purpose it’s been two hours of pure smoothness. He’s also absolutely whipped but plays it off really smoothly.

- - - - -

Not only does he bag the hottest and meanest pookie aka you, but he also absolutely knows he did. And he’ll let right about everyone else know. I do think he’s more private about his life than say Soap, so it’s not like he’ll stop a random recruit and tell him about you (which i truly believe Johnny would do). But he has absolutely followed Price around base while he tells him about the two weeks leave he took to be with you.

Poor Price on his desk, dealing with the paperwork that comes as a necessity after Ghost and Soap blew something up during a drill that didn’t involve explosives at all. Not only is he having to fill out like fifteen different forms and reports, but he has Gaz sitting across from him, scrolling through his gallery and showing pictures of the place he took you out to on your Friday dinner date. Not only that but if Price just pretends to look but doesn’t actually pay attention Kyle will know and insist until the captain actually looks at the slideshow.

He doesn’t hammer your dates' knowledge onto Soap and Ghost as much, but he’ll definitely do subtle flexes. He chest the time on his phone instead of his watch so they’ll see the picture of you he has as a background. If someone brings up a weekend plan he’ll say how he can’t because he’s already going out with his darling. Subtly will tell anyone that will listen how you got him his new shirt, pants, cap, whatever it is tbh.

He also knows every single product that you prefer, doesn’t matter what kind it is. Makeup, skincare, cologne, fabric softener, snacks, beverages, food places, clothing brands. He doesn’t care, he knows all of them by heart. It’s like he has a six sense too, every time you’re close to running out of them he’ll randomly stop in the store on his way back to you from base and get them.

While i headcanon that Johnny gets into skin care after his darling introduces him to it (which you can read here, if you want). I believe Kyle absolutely has his own routine and that he is the one who first brings up the idea of having a spa night once a week. He’s the one to get the products, he even goes all out and does them themed, like by scent or colour or something.

Has a bunch of hoodies in rotation (or any other clothing piece you might steal from him) always making sure to wear at least one of them for a few days before “forgetting” it at yours or “forgetting” to take it to base once you’ve moved in together. He knows how much you love wearing them and how important it is that it smells like him. So he dutifully makes sure you always have a fresh Kyle™ piece of clothing available. Also it absolutely works for him too because he takes back the one you’ve had with you meanwhile. The mix of your cologne, body wash and fabric softener his favourite scent for sure.

And last but not least of my Gaz is the perfect boyfriend agenda (for today) is the fact that i know he just gives the best back massages. You don’t even have to ask for it, he’ll just come to the living room, lightly pat your shoulder so you move forward. He fits himself between the couch and your back and just gives you the massage of your life. He just laughs it off when you tell him he could be a masseuse if he ever retires from the military.

It takes less than 5 minutes to have you absolutely melting, and when he’s pleased with how comfortable and relaxed you look he just pulls you back against his chest. His arms wrap around your waist and his chin rests on your shoulder as you sit between his legs, the both of you watching a random show he saw good ratings of.

[broadwaybalogna]

send prompts it is!!

because I just finished a math test and need my blorbos to suffer with me, let's have zutara in a modern au where they take a math test together! 😊

one of them would have a pretty low score and fluff and comfort ensues

(i hope I pass)

I’ve literally been waiting all night for another prompt to pop into my inbox and this is so cute omg!!!

Have I ever said how much I love modern Zutara? Because I LOVE modern Zutara.

Also- I hope you pass your test! Sending all luck your way~

Oh yeah, before I start this. I would like to reiterate that I am an American. Apparently different counties have different ways of grading but for me an A is a 90-100, a B is an 80-90 and a C is around a 70-80. D is 64 up and F is anything below. Just thought I should point that out before I begin.

Zuko moved out of his dad’s house when he was fifteen. Well, more like he was kicked out and he displayed little to no reluctance to leave. After his mother had left, he had little hope of seeing his father redeem himself.

But Zuko found that old habits died hard. Because even though his uncle was one of the most caring people he had ever met, there was still this overwhelming anxiety Zuko felt when he did something wrong. Especially in school.

In Zuko’s experience, school was the easiest way for Ozai to control Zuko. He spent most of his nights either studying or hiding, only ever leaving his room for dinner. His father checked his grades twice a day (he had figured out Zuko’s school username and password) to make sure Zuko was on top of everything. So when Zuko moved, his mentality regarding school didn’t change, even if his environment had.

He found himself still cooped up in his room reading through books, skipping meals, and solving equations well into the night.

That changed when he met Katara.

Katara was what many people called a “nerd”. But she still looked pretty so she didn’t get teased nearly as much as she would’ve had she not been. Katara, like Zuko, aced tests and projects. However, Katara, unlike Zuko, was an enthusiastic learner. She would raise her hand every chance she got in class to answer a question or ask for clarification. She even sometimes corrected their teachers on their mistakes. Needless to say, Zuko gave her a lot of side eyes.

They didn’t have very many classes together, especially since she was a grade below his, but she had been moved up to Zuko’s Math, English, and Physics classes. She apparently also took on level Biology which made Zuko’s head spiral.

At first, they barely spoke a word to one another. But once acknowledging each others academic achievements, they began so talk every so often during free time in classes. Katara would often be working on something for another class while they talked, though. Zuko still found it relaxing. Although she enjoyed it more, she still understood the pressures of school and the mental spirals it would put people through.

One thing led to another and they began studying together as well. Zuko couldn’t really help her with Biology (it was an elective. Seriously, who takes a core class as an elective??) but they exchanged notes and shortcuts for other classes. Zuko was able to give her a lot of tips on writing papers for English since he had a politician for a father (finally, Ozai was good for something).

Katara was a beast at math, though. She tackled each problem like it was common sense. Since it was a higher level, she was still challenged, but not nearly as much as other kids in their class were. It was no wonder Katara also took physics, the science that revolves around math.

The one thing she struggled with was history. Zuko learned very early into their friendship that Katara was absolute ass at memorizing anything. The only way she was able to memorize formula’s was because she would repeat them over and over throughout study sessions until it drove them both insane. So Zuko found himself helping her most with that subject.

One night, when a study session ran much longer than it should’ve, Iroh suggested she stay with the two of them for the night. That was her first and most notably, not last, sleepover at Zuko’s. Actually, it was the furthest thing from her last. It became part of their routine for her to stay over once or twice a week to keep studying. Iroh tried to get them to relax and take breaks every so often, which they did, but most of their time was spent either studying or talking.

Then even more of their time was spent talking.

Then a really good portion of their time was spent going on walks midday and talking.

And Zuko enjoyed it so much. He seriously enjoyed just being able to breathe. He felt genuenly free when he was with Katara, studying or not.

But both Zuko and Katara soon realized that prioritizing their mental health over school had consequences.

It had been time for their unit test in math, a test both of them had forgotten to study for the night before. Zuko mentally beat himself up over and he could see Katara out of the corner of his eye drop her head onto her desk.

They were so screwed.

Or, well, just Zuko was screwed. Turned out that Katara’s ‘mathematical Common sense formulas’ came in handy and get her an 79% on the test. Although she had never gotten a grade below an 85 in the class, she still let out a sigh when she checked her grade in her phone.

“Are they out?” Zuko asked, already pulling out his phone to check his own grade.

“Yeah. Ugh, I’m so screwed. Sit brought down my semester grade to a 89.”

“That big of a jump? I thought you had a 96 earlier?”

“This was worth a lot of points. I feel so stupid.”

Katara continued to ramble but Zuko tuned her out as he looked at his grade from the light below him.

61.

He pursed his lips and closed his eyes, convinced that it was all a hallucination.

“Nine was a hellscape and- hey, are you okay?” He heard Katara say as he looked back down to his phone.

61.

It was still there, staring at him, no, laughing at him from the grade-book. Zuko felt like he could hear his father’s voice yelling at him, lecturing him over the horrifying careers that lie ahead of him based on this one mistake.

“Zuko? Can you hear me?”

Could he hear her? For some reason, he didn’t know how to answer.

“Iroh! Something’s going on with Zuko!” That was the last thing Zuko registered before he felt his chest heave and his mind race.

When Zuko could finally register the things around him again, he was in his bed laying down. He turned to his side and saw Katara pacing in his bedroom.

“Kat?”

“Zuko! Oh my god, toh scared the bejesus out of me! Are you okay? Do you need me to get you a water?”

“That would be nice.”

“Good, because I already got you one.” Katara tached over to Zuko’s bedside table and passed him a cup of water. Classic Katara, always being one step ahead. “Iroh said you had a panic attack. I assume it was over- um…” Zuko thought back to what had happened. Right.

“Yeah, my bad.”

“Oh no! Not your bad! In no way is this your bad, Zuko! This is your shitty father’s bad- no- your shitty father’s worst,” she corrected herself.

“Hmm,” he hummed.

“Zuko,” Katara finally said, lowering her voice and finally becoming more calm, “I don’t really know much about your relationship with your dad- or school. But it was so nice seeing you actually happy and talking these past few days. It really put things into perspective for me. I realize that I’ve been studying so much all the time, that I never thought about how it affected you. I’m sorry.”

“What? No, don’t be sorry. My relationship with school is.. complicated at best, but in no way is any of it your fault,” he sat up to face Katara, “but I have realized how much more I like being free. I just need to find a balance.”

“Could I- could I help you find it?” Katara asked after a short moment has passed.

“I’d love that.”

They both smiled and Katara engulfed Zuko in a soul-crushing hug. Zuko’s heart did a little flip and he let out a sigh.

He liked this.

He also might like Katara.

He was happy with those conclusions.

It’s 1am and I have state testing tomorrow (today??) so GOODNIGHT!

[ravenpureforever]

random question time! which wwx's relationship do you like the most and why? It could be platonic or romantic, all canons allowed

Thank you for the ask! Oh boy this question is hard, because I like I appreciate so many of his relationships for different reasons that picking just one feels kinda cruel 

I think the biggest tie for me is between JC and LWJ for WWX. 

Wangxian is the rare ship where I genuinely can only see them romantically with each other, like I’m multishipper, I’ll ship literally anything if you have an interesting concept, pretty words or beautiful art, like grab my attention I am yours, except these two, they live in my head rent free and they can only be together because like maybe you lost everything, maybe you can never go back to that blissful youth you once had, but that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new life for yourself and find happiness and all the grief and tragedy does not define you but you still want to help people and you will help people and maybe it isn’t the life you thought you wanted when you were fifteen but it is a wonderful one and you love and you are loved and you are happy and that is enough. Maybe you suffered, maybe you were cruel, maybe the world misread who you are and assigned you a role you did not ask for, but maybe that doesn’t matter because you know who you are, you are still kind, and you have someone who knows and understands you and trusts who you are. You are both also kind of insufferable in your love and get to be annoying too. 

But JC & WWX are my ultimate tragic doomed platonic relationship, my neurotic little freaks who can’t be normal about each other and have zero boundaries, bickering idiots, wanting to go back to your youth except you’ll never be 15 again and you the person who knew the most intimate parts of yourself is now a stranger except you still see the glimmers of the person they used to be, the most brutal variation of you’ll never recover from that kind of devotion, the ultimate capturing  lost youth and having to go down different paths and really depicting what growing up is like sometimes, the viciousness where I am able to hurt you unlike anyone else (regardless if I want to or not), the abusive household codependency of survival, literally carrying a piece of your soul in my chest and making the ultimate sacrifice you never asked for because I couldn’t bare to risk losing you, the hollowness is a symbol of my devotion and the fullness is an omen of our splintering, there is one brain cell being shared like a game of tennis, my pathetic meow meow and beloved blorbo, I genuinely can’t be normal about them. 

I think if I really have to pick between them though, I’ll have to say JC & WWX just by virtue of I don’t like Wangxian fics that mischaracterize or villainize JC, like if he’s featured and isn’t a well-written character (Shanastorytellers' and loosingletters’ fics my absolute beloveds), it really takes me out of the narrative. His depiction and relationship with WWX has a lot of impact on my Wangxian enjoyment, and even in canon my beloved Wangxian gets to develop because of all the Ls this poor guy takes, so congrats JC, you win here! It’s by a literal hair, but JC & WWX platonic relationship, get these boys a reconciliation so they can drink in Lotus Pier and gossip about their kids and people they think are stupid, WWX it will enrich your marriage so much I promise. It’s what *I* deserve.

[pancake-blogging]

Transformers: Rescue Bots in Disguise — Prisoners of the Alchemor, and Cybertronians on Earth

( @too-many-blorbos because I know you enjoy these posts :] )

Surprise surprise! I have more thoughts about this au!!! For this post, we're exploring what I think they should've gone with in-canon when it comes to the general roster of the prisoner ship the Alchemor as well as the connection between Earth and Cybertron at the start of the series. This post won't go into EVERYONE who was imprisoned on the ship, but it will provide some examples. Without further ado! The post!

Personally, I think it's kinda silly that Earth DOESN'T know Cybertronians exist. I mean, the arrival of New Kaon in Nevada should've announced to the Whole World that aliens existed! As such, I've decided that for TF: RBiD, the existence of Cybertronians will be a known fact by all of Earth, with there being a Cybertronian Base on Earth that's run by Ratchet — when Chase and the others come to Earth, they'll likely stay at said base. Helps to explain why we'd have an adult Raf as the main human companion as well!

The Alchemor, in TF: RBiD, will have prisoners belonging to a variety of moralities AND factions — not all of them will be Decepticons, and not all of them will be explicitly evil. And we're not going with there being more evil Decepticons or wrongly arrested Autobots, either: there will be just as many good Decepticons and evil Autobots as there are good Autobots and evil Decepticons. Why am I doing this? To help sell the main lesson Chase is trying to teach Strongarm, which I touched on in a previous post!

Will some of the escaped prisoners get locked back up? Yes, some of them should actually be serving the sentence they were given (Thunderhoof is an Actual Mafia Boss who bribed corrupt members of Cybertron's police and oh my GOD what if he was arrested by Chase? Because he made the mistake of trying to buy Chase's cooperation! Rivalry!!!)

However, some of the prisoners who got locked up were an extreme response — the first example will be our favorite Terror Twins returning together, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker! Sideswipe was arrested for going SLIGHTLY too fast in a residential area, and Sunstreaker was arrested for putting up graffiti on too many walls. For the two of them (as well as any other prisoner whose crime doesn't ACTUALLY warrant being locked up indefinitely), Chase will instead issue them a very basic community service based on their specific skillset.

You know what this results in? More background bots! A reason to bring them back in a later episode without them being Problem of the Week: 2!

Now, let's talk about Steeljaw again... Unlike in canon, where he was introduced fairly early on and Strongarm immediately saw through his ploy of "I'm one of the GOOD guys who was on the Alchemor :)" — he's going to be introduced later on (probably still in season 1, but closer to the halfway point if not later), and will be specifically introduced after several OTHER Decepticons who actually were wrongly imprisoned! That way, we can have a version of events where Strongarm actually believes him and willingly brings him into the base.

When in the base, Steeljaw will find a way to incapacitate the Rescue Bots, and when he goes to free his imprisoned Decepticon cohorts, he finds some of them out and about on the base. Believing them to be like him, he tries to enlist them to help him free the imprisoned Decepticons and crush the Autobots...

So imagine his surprise when they reply with "Are you KIDDING? Chase gave me FIFTEEN HOURS of community service and then I can go do WHATEVER I WANT so long as I don't break the law!"

And then they kick him out and help Chase and the others recover from Steeljaw's attack, because they appreciate Chase treating them like actual bots instead of criminals :]

And when some of these Bots finish their community service... They decide to stick around. Earth is nice! They can get JOBS here! A lot of them think Chase is a cool guy! (The first (and possible only) one to say this will be met with Chase asking them to call his old teammates and repeat what they just said. This Will stop anyone else from calling Chase cool to his face)

[brucequeensteen]

the problem with doctor who is that i think very early on the writers began to take way too many liberties with quality and consistency because they could hide behind a) popularity of the show, b) star power + popularity of the actors, and c) nostalgia. and i think that really came through with the most recent specials because on the one hand yes it was fan service and im the fan and i do feel served, but on the other hand there's a level of quality you expect from these people especially for a 60th anniversary special that just wasn't there. and before you think "oh that's just the doctor who charm its always a bit badly written", that's my point exactly thats the excuse they hide behind, because people say that but they also always come back (im one of these people. that always comes back) when actually theres proof that the show CAN be really good. Not just silly and campy and nostalgic but actually good and interesting and intelligent.

and my issue with the specials is that they introduce all these new ideas like bigeneration or solving the metacrisis but in what feels like such a rushed and underhanded way, in favour of nostalgia-inducing lines and callbacks to older lore and cameos. and thats not to say that the specials were devoid of any meaning or emotion, and the nostalgia worked for me and overall my reaction to all 3 episodes was positive. but these themes and plot points that get revisited and quote unquote "resolved" are not given the gravitas that they SHOULD have been given, or hypothetically WOULD have been given by a writer who actually cares and can be bothered enough to get into the details and the grit. bigeneration was a total curveball that simply MUST be explored in depth in fifteen's series cos otherwise what was the point? and the metacrisis solution was very clearly shoehorned in and also a little bit cringe and not in the classic doctor who acceptable cringe way. all 3 episodes felt like they'd dug this great wide hole called "plot" and this hole is grand and impressive and draws people into it with the promise of being filled with something interesting.. and then u get to the hole and its just filled with a scattering of pebbles and a few nice shiny rocks. the good bits were the shiny rocks. i could list every good thing about the specials but it would just be a list of aspects or individual moments or lines. when in combination the whole thing is underwhelming and underdeveloped. and to be honest it felt like russell t davies got sidetracked writing fanfiction for his favourite blorbo and forgot to focus on writing the Actual TV Show he's Actually writing.

all that being said: Ncuti Gatwa stole the show and i am really excited and the specials were good enough that i have hopes for his series and i DID have fun and i believe i will CONTINUE to have fun. but i have to say that overall I was disappointed. these episodes definitely planted the seeds for some wonderful storytelling. but. it was the 60th anniversary, the return of DT and Catherine Tate, and the transition into the next series that is on so many levels radical and exciting. it should have been more than just seeds. it should have been the whole tree. also Martha should have been there. thank you for listening

[sunreisets]

tell us more about sarzhou please 🥹🥹

HELLO DEAR ANON I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED

Half of what consists of sarzhou is fanon FOR NOW… I don’t know much about their lore yet and I haven’t been digging into sarzhou lore hehe but there is my first very short thesis link here

I did save a few images and I know that the two of them were in this one image and they were both VERY YOUNG like probably in their fourteens-fifteens because Logan does look really young for his age back then and Guanyu looks 15-16 ish IM SO SORRY I COULDNT FIND THE IMAGE I will link it when I find it :D

Here r some images I think can contribute to the sarzhou thesis

Firstly, may be a personally bias but I love both their smiles, very sweet and unique grins and LOOOKKKKKK pre race interaction. I love pre race interactions I love when the drivers come together to gossip. I love friendships I love them!

Thinking about how Guanyu compared to Logan is the more fashionable one while Logan is just. Polo tee cargo shorts. Maybe Guanyu can do something to help with his fashion sense. Nevertheless both of them are perfect either way

(Also Logan playing with the buckle on his cap is so real I do that all the time with my caps too)

THAT NIGHT WHEN THEY WENT TO A PARTY TOGETHER. And many other nights, I think they went to post race parties together a couple of times and believe me or not when I didn’t know Guanyu might have a girlfriend I would have thought they were dating.

Fanon wise Thinking of how maybe they might have asked oscar to come along. And oscar couldn’t (noooooooo 😭) so they went themselves. Silly

(That height difference though)

Was this F3 days? I think f3 or Prema. Yes they’ve come from the childhood friends trope as well love love love that trope so much (Hi Sean)

Currently I like thinking about how they bonded because both of them were so called “outcasts” as well, Guanyu being an Asian karter in Europe and Logan an American, they aren’t from Europe/England and I love thinking about how Oscar and Guanyu introduced Logan around when he first moved to England on his own (before meeting benny). AM I MENTIONING OSCAR TOO MUCH IM SO SORRY I just love the guy

(Also Logan I’m sorry that cut. I’m so sorry who did this to you)

CIRCA 2023 I don’t know which race this was. But we have a couple moments of Alfa Romeo x Williams boyband this year and aufufufifucifufu my favourite blorbos. Valterri looks like a dad

OSCAR HEYYYY OSCAR. I associate Guanyu a lot with being Loscar’s third wheel but BUT. what if the turntables. What if Oscar’s the one having to third wheel them

I always remember how Oscar is literally a common figure in both of their social circles, like omg remember the time he said he would go out with Logan and Guanyu to a party after Vegas. That’s one of my Roman empires thank you very much

I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SHARE OF THEM I TRULY APOLOGISE I think I need another season to see how this goes HAHAHA

thanks anon for sending this in it is ssoooo fun to do a much needed hunt for their content!! I love it when you guys send in asks :)

[darkurgetrash]

15 Lines Tag 💬

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well. I feel like making a little ask game out of this SO: if you wanna you can send me one of these and i will give you context/ a snipped of what it is from! (you could also guess the context if you like!)

Thank you for the tag @dutifullylazybread! It was really interesting to look back through LMTTD and see how much Tavlyn has come out of her shell! My poor depressed blorbo. 🥺💔

Without further ado, here are fifteen lines from Tavlyn Fairchild: queen of insecurities, saying ‘sorry’ too much, ellipses, and not passing the Bechdel test.

“Really, it was my fault for misunderstanding. I have a tendency to read too much into things.”

“Well, I was trying to think how we could avoid conflict, but apparently saying ‘it sounded like you two were having fun’ wasn’t the way to go about it.” 

“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t snooping, I was just… Well… I guess I was trying to.” 

“I can’t read people, never could. I’m not… insightful.”

“Gods, sorry. I have no right to be so moody!”

“I wasn’t trying to drown, but maybe it would have been better if I had.”

“Knowledge is a given right, and if you dare refer to Master Rolan or any tiefling as an ‘imp’ again, I’ll do far worse than shout at a shelf of books!”

“I feel more fragile now than I did the whole time we were fighting the Netherbrain. Everything seems to set me off into a panic, and then I become embarrassed, and then that sets me off and — Gods, it’s a… spiral.” 

“Lia, I’m really sorry if this comes off as ignorant, but I’m really having a hard time understanding this — what exactly is so gross about sleeping with your brother?”

“I meant slept together, like slept, caught the z’s, hit the hay, took a trip to the astral plane, mingled with the mind flayer, rubbed elbows with the emperor—”

“I’m not some kind-hearted hero worthy of any admiration. I was just… surviving.”

“I’m the one who isn’t worthy of you! I’m selfish, stubborn, and spoiled – I’ve always been too rash in my decisions and my actions, always given in to my emotions no matter how irrational they are, and I’m clingy, and foolhardy, and so desperately lonely that I unfairly demand attention—”

"Wouldn't I? I mean, I wasn't planning to... but now that you've told me not to, it makes me want to!"

“Is this ‘bully Tavlyn’ day or something?”

“But I’m alright, Rolan, we all died at some point, it’s fine!”

No pressure tags to @savriea @lisa-and-shadow @little-paperboat 🩷

[strawberry-selfships]

🍋🍋🍋 can i see three of them?

-bleedingheart-s

send me a 🍋 and I'll tell you a character I crushed on that never became an f/o

oh my GOSHHH OF COURSE U CAN @bleedingheart-s AAUJGKGHKSGU

ok one of them is this fella named lester parnell from a film called saltwater moose . i havent started shipping with him yet because i only saw the movie once and the plot was like.. baffling (in a silly way like a What Is Happening Hello) so nothing ended up happening because i was like.. so goofily dumbfounded by the movie itself . HES SOOOOOOOO CUTE THOUGH.

and yes i did make that gif of him. (and yes hes played by dalton who is.. rassilon . among other blorbos of mine)

OK the other two will be from DW because youre you and you get it

my most recent DW crush is kazran...... thats the latest DW ep/special ive seen (besides fifteen's new eps and besides the later ones my friends have showed me individually like the mr clever ep) and i just..... its so unfair bc i already crush on a version of scrooge so u give me a scrooge-inspired guy AND make him from DW its just . not faiiiiiirrrr thats oscar baiiiiit !!! idk what the likelihood of me coming back to him and selfshipping with him is tho . bc i have sooo much DW to still watch.

and one more ahhhhhh THE NEXT DOCTOR AHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!! (idk what else to call him...) i can hardly even think about him without nerding out . HES SO WONDERFUL !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i actually wish i did properly start selfshipping with him after i saw his episode but ah well . maybe ill make that day our anniversary when i do start selfshipping with him . AND ALSO HIS ACTOR PLAYS ANOTEHR ONE OF MY ROMANTIC F/OS SO THATS MORE OSCAR BAIT AAAHHH

HES SOOOO CUUUUTE RAAAHHHHHHHHH runs circles around him really fast

[quinloki]

I am here to rescue you from whatever it is that has you down! As always, this runs long and the damn ask function will not allow me to do a keep reading cut so everyone else is just going to have to suffer.

Did I see something really cute today? Yes! Our local box turtle, a juvenile house wren, but most importantly the juvenile tufted titmouse. Why is this the important one? Well, the window bird feeder we have was running low on food and it was also raining today. Every time he landed, he'd hop into the feeder to eat the food.

Well, it's a wee bit slippery and he hasn't figured a lot of stuff out yet. Every time he landed int he feeder his legs splayed out in opposite directions. He kept hopping them back together only to end in the splits again. It was utterly hilarious. All those cartoons of characters having their legs go in different directions on ice were not inaccurate.

Is your pet adorable? Yes? I don't really have pets, I have plants. They are named: Lacey, Touchy McFeely, Jewels, Polydora, and Mapleine. Four out of five are succulents. Lacey has a crimped edge to her leaves. Touchy McFeely is a panda plant and all the leaves are fuzzy. Jewels is a jade tree. Polydora is a community of succulents in a single pot, and the name comes from Greek mythology. Polydora was an Amazon and as a tall lady myself, that was the Polydora I went with (there have been several people with the name in Greek myth).

And then we have Mapleine (pronounced maple-een, like Maybelline but with maple). Mom has informed me that mapleine is the chemical compound responsible for all artificial maple flavors. Why did I name the one plant I have that isn't a succulent this? I'm glad you asked. For some inexplicable reason, her leaves smell like maple syrup.

First time I smelled it I thought I was having a synesthetic moment. I was sitting at my desk (I keep her with me at my desk) and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with maple syrup scents. I spent a good fifteen minutes trying to figure out what my trigger sense was. I gave up. I then sniffed my plant. It was her. MY PLANT SMELLS LIKE MAPLE SYRUP. No clue what kind of plant she is but damn is that fun. So Mom named her Mapleine. Whenever we smell maple now we say, "maybe it's mapleine."

If your blorbo was real, and appeared right besides you right now, how would you react? Well, I have more than one blorbo so let's tackle 'em one at a time, yeah?

Arlong—I'd probably scream and hit him with my baseball bat. In my defense, that would be terrifying but I'm in my PJs in bed and I have my dignity to preserve as a woman.

Benn "Fine Motherfucking Vintage" Beckman—drool.

Shanks—I'd probably just start poking him to see if he was really real and actually here.

Aramaki—I'd probably stare like a goof as I tried to figure out how he fit in the room.

Now for the non-One Piece blorbos:

Gildarts—I'd probably attack him first out of fright and then feel bad because the dude is missing half his limbs.

Laxus—same as Beckman's.

Skinny Might—probably introduce him to Tiny Might and inform him quite proudly that my Tiny Might can do something he can't: glow in the dark. I'd probably then explain why I have Tiny Might in the first place, tell him what he means to me, and offer him a place to sleep. I love Skinny Might. About as much as I love Beckman.

Aizawa—take pity on him and scooch over in bed so the man can finally sleep.

Hawks—probably going to touch the wings automatically and if he tries to leave tackle his ass to the ground. I guarantee I outweigh him and mark my words, I will be dragging him to bed one way or another.

Nanami—same as Beckman's.

Sorin Markov—I'd be deeply concerned honestly. The sudden appearance of a Planeswalker is not a good sign and he's the vampire planeswalker to boot. I also love him more than any other character in existence (besides Boromir but that's more of a platonic love), but I know he isn't fond of humans and he has a bad track record with women in particular. Knowing as much about him as I do, I'd probably inquire if he was okay and offer my assistance short of letting him feed on me (my period just ended but if it hadn't, I could technically feed him).

Tell me your three favorite things: These change because I don't know what favorite things is, it's too broad of a question. So, I'm giving you my three obsessions right now:

My professor and lest that sounds creepy, I greatly admire him as an academic and a person. I have a lot of respect for the guy and I enjoy looking into any of my professors' research because I like knowing what to expect and being able to learn from experts is awesome. I just bought two of his books too. I love my professor to pieces (platonically) but I disagree with him nearly across the board and I find it challenging to dissect things because we're in opposite camps (while in the same field), but at the same time I learn a lot even through disagreement and I get to learn how to disagree respectfully. Plus, Mom & I have decided that he isn't just one of the good professors, he's a fucking genius and I gotta make hay while the sun shines. I only have 13 or so weeks left to learn as much as I can because once this class concludes I will have taken all the classes he teaches at the Extension School. =( My time is extremely limited now.

Dystopian literature & films. This has been ongoing for awhile now but it has gone beyond just reading/watching for fun. I'm trying to construct my own online class for the genre, as if I were going to teach it at the Extension School. I've been trying to create the reading/watch list, craft a syllabus, and of course come up with the lectures. It's a ton of work but I actually want to teach a course on this (I'm not qualified, I'm just an undergrad). Since I cannot teach it at my school, I could just create it online outside of school and that is always a possibility but for now I am very much in the crafting stage.

Stand-up comedy. I have been reliably informed that I am the funniest member of my family. I also greatly enjoy doing impressions and have mastered a few...odd ones. And I do them better than anybody alive. It's a weird flex but it's what I've got (the other flex is coming in 8th place at a 6 person tournament). Alas, I cannot tell you what these impressions are, I'm building up a repertoire and will eventually debut them at open mic nights. I have to work on myself internally and get nerves/anxiety/panic attacks under control first, but I already have about a 2.5 minute routine ready to go. So when I get stuck in school or work I just start practicing my impressions. However, once I do debut them live (and Mom records the performance), I will happily share them.

There, do you feel a little bit better now? Have I made you smile or laugh at all? I'm sending you a hug as well and if you need more just let me know.

Oh that poor bird 😅Well, providing some entertainment to the people helping him get a meal probably isn't a bad trade off ^_^

Okay, I love the plants and their names \o/ Polydora is a great name for a collection of succulents - and I really love that it's a name that shows up more than once in mythology.

And Mapleine... ah, I'd love a plant that smells like maple. I have a set of runes made from Maple Wood and the scent is so calming sometimes I just put my nose in the bag and breathe when I need to relax a little.

I love that Arlong gets the bat, and Beckman gets drool XD The Skinny Might interaction is just adorable, and man hard same with Aizawa and Hawks, frankly.

I hope you get everything out of your esteemed professor in the time you have. May you, by happenstance or will, find yourself befriending him and having an opportunity to speak beyond class.

I would love to see your syllabus on Dystopian literature and films when you get it sorted out - if you're comfortable sharing it. Fates willing I would happily be a test subject for you ^_^

I look forward to the video as well, and I'm already very curious about who you're good at impersonating, but I will wait patiently 🥰

You managed to distract me, delight me, and help me relax all in one go ❤️ Thank you, my friend. Ah - who are other Polydoras in mythology? Are they all humans? Do they do amazing feats, or are they supportive pillars for those we deem heroes?

[cheerscoops]

ship: Chrissy Cunningham/Steve Harrington wc: 3.4k A/N: this one was requested by my favorite person @sherifftillman <3 it was originally supposed to go up on their birthday, but I am terrible at time management. hopefully, I did our blorbos justice. also, apologies in advance for the minimal angst. I apparently can't write cheerscoops without making one of them a little sad.

“We don't have to stay long,” Eddie said as he parked his van. “I promise. As soon as I'm sold out, we can go back to my place and watch whatever movies you want. It probably won't take more than fifteen minutes.”

“It's fine,” Chrissy replied. “I don't mind being here. I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to come with you tonight. If it takes you longer than that, I'm sure I can find someone else to talk to. It is a party after all.”

“And that's why you're my best friend. You ready for this?”

“As ready as I'll ever be.”

Chrissy knew the real reason why Eddie had invited her to go to this party with him. He could say it was just because he wanted the company, but she knew the truth. He just wanted to get her out of the house and back around other people again. Ever since Jason had unceremoniously dumped her during halftime at the basketball game two weeks before, she hadn't really left the house for anything other than school. She hadn’t been feeling very social, and she knew she was starting to worry her best friend. So, even though the last thing she really wanted to be doing was attending some weird Christmas rager filled with people who witnessed her most recent humiliation, she agreed to go because it meant Eddie wouldn’t worry about her anymore.

The fact that they wouldn’t be there very long helped, too. If she had to spend the whole evening there, she wouldn’t have been able to force herself to go. She wasn't sure if she was really ready to face this crowd - the people that would either be hyping Jason up or looking at her with those horribly pitying glances that made her feel about two feet tall - but there was another reason why she didn't want to be at this house in particular: this was Steve Harrington's house.

It wasn't that she had anything against Steve. It was the opposite really. Back when she'd been a freshman, she'd fawned over him just like all of the other cheerleaders did. It had been so easy to develop a crush on him because she'd always thought that he was so out of her league. It was just a sweet little fantasy that occupied most of her daydreams. 

When she started dating Jason, her crush had faded away, and she'd figured that she was completely over that fantasy. They were at the same sporting events and the same parties, she talked to him on occasion, and she didn't think she felt anything for him. But then Jason dumped her and everyone started treating her differently - except for Steve. He stopped Tommy H. from making jokes at her expense when he started up with his stupid comments at school, and he didn't look at her with the same pitying glances that everyone else gave her. He treated her just the same as he always had, and it made her realize that maybe her crush had never really gone away. It was just lying dormant and waiting for an opportunity to resurface. The fantasy was back, and she was feeling more delusional than ever. Steve would never go for a girl who'd been dumped in front of the whole town like that. She wasn't good enough for him, but it was nice to dream. 

That dream was why she couldn't be at his party though. It felt too risky with her crush. Every other time she'd been to a party at his house, she'd been with Jason, so this hadn't been an issue. Now, she didn't know how to act.

As Eddie ushered her into the house, she scanned the crowd in front of her. It wasn't hard to find Steve in the midst of it all. He stood out on a normal day. For this party, however, he was wearing one of those sleazy Santa hats that had mistletoe on the end, and Chrissy hated how that wasn’t a turn off for her. As she watched Rachel P. make her way over to Steve and point at the mistletoe on his hat before reaching up to give him a kiss, Chrissy couldn’t help but think she wouldn’t mind getting to have that same opportunity herself. She’d never be bold enough to go up to him on her own though, and she certainly wasn’t bold enough to say whatever it was that Rachel P. whispered in Steve’s ear after their kiss that made his eyes go wide before shaking it off and adopting his signature confident smirk again. She was content to keep her distance and avoid any and all potential humiliation that would undoubtedly come from her being anywhere near him.

But she was hanging out with Eddie that night, so she should have known that he was going to unintentionally put her face to face with the guy she was trying her hardest to avoid. She loved her best friend more than anything, but he was oblivious to the chaos he caused her. Sometimes it was through more over the top means, but tonight it was via the simple action of calling for Steve’s attention. He acknowledged Eddie with a slight nod before saying something to Rachel P. and abandoning her to head their way.

Chrissy started panicking almost immediately. He was going to be standing in front of her wearing that ridiculous hat, and she'd have to find a way to kiss him without being awkward about it. Of course, there was always the chance that Eddie would jump in and kiss Steve to mess with him. Or worse, he could push Chrissy forward and urge her to kiss him and make a big deal out of it. She felt like she was going to be sick.

But then something that she hadn't anticipated happened, and it was maybe even worse than anything she had imagined. As Steve got closer to them, he noticed Chrissy was with Eddie for the first time, and he stopped dead in his tracks. He recovered after a moment, and as he started walking towards them again, he pulled the hat off of his head and ran a hand through his hair. That settled it then. He didn't want to kiss her at all, so he was taking away any chance that it would happen. Even though she'd been panicking about it, she'd be lying if she said that didn't sting.

“What? No kisses for me?” Eddie asked. “I'm wounded.”

 “I'm sure you'll survive,” Steve told him before turning his attention back towards Chrissy. “I didn't know you were coming.”

“That's because I forced her out of the house. We're just staying until I sell out, and then it's a night of debauchery.”

Eddie threw an arm around Chrissy's shoulders and wiggled his eyebrows, and she turned bright pink before slapping his chest.

“He's kidding,” she insisted. “We're going to watch Christmas movies and probably end up annoying his uncle.”

“I think he'll be charmed by our antics and just how often I plan on pausing the movies to add in my own scenes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have party favors to hand out.”

Eddie gave an exaggerated bow before heading into the party, leaving Chrissy standing there awkwardly with Steve. She didn't know what to say to him, and he didn't appear to have anything to say to her, so she was standing there wishing that the ground would just open up and swallow her when Heather Holloway appeared and threw her arms around her in a bone crushing hug. Whatever was in the cup that she was holding sloshed, and a little bit dribbled on the floor.

“You came!” she said as she pulled away from Chrissy. “You said you weren't feeling up for a party, but you came!”

“I did.”

Heather was clearly more than a little buzzed already, and Chrissy watched as she turned her attention towards Steve.

“Stevie. Would you mind terribly if I stole Chrissy for a minute?” she asked. “I can never get her to go to parties anymore, so I need to go get her a drink or seven to make up for lost time, okay?”

“She's all yours,” he replied. “Don't get too crazy.”

“Me? Never.”

Heather grabbed Chrissy's hand and started to pull her towards the kitchen, but as Chrissy glanced back at Steve, she noticed that he put that stupid hat back on the second he wasn't looking at her anymore, and she felt that same sting from before again.

“Can I just say that Jason is a rat?” Heather said. “A stinky garbage rat. The lowest of the low. He was never worthy of you, and you can do so much better than him anyway.”

“Thanks.”

Jason was the absolute last person Chrissy wanted to be discussing right now. Tonight was supposed to get her mind off of everything, and already she was feeling awful. She knew Eddie had meant well by bringing her here, but she needed to not be around these people.

“I'll be right back,” she told Heather. “I need to find the restroom.”

“Use the one upstairs. The one down here is probably super grody by now.”

Chrissy made her way upstairs and easily found the master bathroom. Luckily, no one was in there already, so she was able to lock herself inside and take a moment alone. She took a few deep breaths as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She could do this. She could be at this party and act normal and pretend she wasn't hurt by what Jason did to her and how Steve had clearly been repulsed by the idea of kissing her. She had to handle this. Just a little while longer, and then Eddie would be ready to leave. She could make it that long. She knew she could.

She exited the bathroom and started to make her way back downstairs. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Eddie leaning against a wall and flirting with Nancy Wheeler. He was trying to look cool, but Chrissy could tell that he was freaking out on the inside. This was a new development, and while she was happy for whatever was happening with her best friend, she had a feeling that she was going to be staying at this party a lot longer than she originally intended.

She would just have to make small talk with people and try to handle being there the best she could. Maybe if she stuck by Heather, she could get away with not doing any talking at all, and she could just let her friend talk at her for a while. However, that plan was ruined when she walked back into the kitchen and found Heather making out with Jason. He had her sitting up on the counter, and he was standing between her legs with her hanging all over him. So much for him being the lowest of the low.

Chrissy turned on her heel and ran out of the room knowing Heather wouldn’t have seen her. She was too invested in Jason’s tongue to notice her hurt friend or care if she did. She couldn’t grab Eddie and make him leave. She didn’t want to be a burden on him, so she tried to go hide in the bathroom again. This time, the door was locked, so she ducked into the first unlocked room she could find. 

After locking herself in said room, she sat down on the edge of the bed and willed herself not to cry. She wouldn’t give Jason the satisfaction of knowing he still had the power to hurt her. She couldn’t. She just needed to stay isolated from the rest of the party until it was time to leave. Eddie would come find her soon enough, and she could put this whole stupid night behind her.

She was only alone for maybe five minutes before someone tried to open the door. When they realized it was locked, they pounded on the door.

“Hey!” a voice called through the door. “No one is supposed to be up here!”

Chrissy got up from the bed and opened the door to find Steve standing there. Once again, as soon as he saw it was her, he pulled that stupid hat off of his head and held it behind his back. This was the last thing she needed, and she could feel herself crumbling from the inside out. She had to get out of that party, and she had to get out now.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know. I’ll just leave.”

Her voice cracked as she spoke, and she moved to exit the room, but Steve was blocking her path.

“Were you in there by yourself?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and she didn’t want to cry in front of Steve. She didn’t need to add on to the humiliation she was already feeling. She tried to push past him, but he moved to stop her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Wait. If you need to be alone up here for a while, you can stay. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Or I can go get your boyfriend for you if you don’t want to be alone.”

Chrissy let out a dry laugh.

“What boyfriend?” she asked. “Jason dumped me two weeks ago. You were there. Don’t you remember?”

“What? I wasn’t talking about that jackass. I meant Eddie.”

“You think Eddie and I are dating?”

“Well, yeah. Aren’t you?”

Chrissy was silent for a moment before doubling over from the force of her laughter. She moved back to sit on the edge of the bed as a way to steady herself because even in this laughing fit, she knew she didn’t want to fall to the floor in front of Steve.

“I’m so sorry,” she said once she’d calmed herself down enough to speak. “I’m not laughing at you. I promise. It’s just that the idea of me dating Eddie is the most ridiculous thing to me.”

“So, he’s not your boyfriend?” Steve asked. He moved to sit down next to her, and he set the hat on the bed in between them as he did.

“I certainly hope not considering the fact that last time I saw him he was very clearly flirting with another girl. He’s just my best friend, and he lacks all sense of personal boundaries when it comes to the people he’s closest with. I guess I can understand why someone would think we’re dating, all things considered. It’s just that kissing him would be the same as kissing my little brother.”

She scrunched up her nose in disgust before wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes.

“Thanks for that though. I really needed that laugh.”

“Glad I could be of service,” he told her. “Can I ask what had you upset enough to lock yourself in my bedroom in the first place?”

“It’s stupid,” she told him. “I saw someone who I thought was my friend making out with Jason. Which is fine. He’s allowed to do whatever he wants. We’re not together anymore, so it shouldn’t have had this effect on me. It’s just that he chose Heather, and she let him choose her after just telling me what a piece of shit she thought he was. But it’s fine. I just didn’t want to be forced to see it, and I didn’t have anyone else to talk to, so I came up here to get away from everything until Eddie was ready to leave. It’s easier that way.”

“Do you want me to kick him out? Because I can make him leave if you want.”

“He’s not worth the effort. I’m already ruining your party enough by keeping you away from your guests. I don’t need you to make a scene on my behalf.”

“I could spit in his eggnog then. Or accidentally spill some punch on him. Maybe trip him or something? Whatever I can do to help you get back at him.”

“It’s fine. Really.” She let out a tiny giggle. “Technically, he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’d say he did plenty wrong if you asked me.”

“How do you figure?”

“I mean, setting aside him making out with your friend, the way he treated you at that basketball game was one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed. He was needlessly cruel, and you deserved better. Frankly, I don’t think he treated you very well while he was dating you either, but that’s a whole other thing entirely. You always seemed too nice to be with a guy like him, and he didn’t appreciate you enough.”

“Maybe that’s just your opinion.”

“Well, it should be everybody’s opinion. I bet there are loads of guys in this school who would realize that you're the best thing that's ever happened to them.”

“You're sweet, but I'm not that special.”

“Not that special? Chrissy, you're -”

Steve paused for a moment and ran a hand through his hair.

“I remember this one day from back around when we first met. A bunch of the cheerleaders and the guys from the team were hanging out outside the gym. Barb Holland was walking past on her way to her next class, and she tripped and absolutely ate it in front of everyone. Jason went to make some stupid comment, but you scolded him and told him to shut up before getting down on the ground to check if she was okay and help her gather her things. I'd already thought you were cute before that, but I think that's when I started to have a crush on you. I never said anything, and then you started dating Jason a week later, so I figured I'd missed my shot and kept quiet. Anyway, my point is that you are special. Anyone who doesn't see that is kidding themselves.”

Chrissy smiled, but avoided looking at Steve to hide the fact that she was certain she was blushing.

“So, you have a crush on me?” she asked.

“I kind of let that slip there, didn't I?”

“Yeah. You did.”

His admission only confused her though. If he liked her, he should have wanted to kiss her, and yet he took that hat off every single time he saw her. It didn't add up.

“Can I ask you something?”

Steve nodded.

“If you're really into me, why'd you take the hat off? Why eliminate the perfect opportunity to act on your feelings in a non-obvious way?”

“A couple reasons. First, up until about five minutes ago, I thought you'd just started dating Eddie, and I didn't want to kiss another guy's girlfriend. Second, the hat wasn't even my idea. It was Tommy's. He gave me this line to use about how it's bad luck if you don't get a kiss when you're standing under the mistletoe, and said it works every time, but I kind of hate wearing the thing. And maybe most importantly, I didn't want you to feel obligated to kiss me. The whole idea of it made me feel gross. If you kissed me, I wanted it to be your choice.”

The sting from earlier had vanished completely and was replaced by a swarm of butterflies that were making her heart flutter. She wanted to be cool about this, but she didn't know if she could be. She had to try though, so she grabbed the hat and pulled it into her lap.

“You know, I kind of have a crush on you, too,” she told him.

“You do?”

“Mmhmm. And I would have welcomed the opportunity to kiss you even if it came with Tommy's admittedly terrible line.”

“Duly noted.”

She picked the hat up and placed it on her head.

“Well, would you look at that,” she said as she pointed at it. “I think that's mistletoe.”

“I think you might be right.”

 “You know, I heard it's bad luck if you don't get kissed when you're underneath the mistletoe.”

“I think I've heard that somewhere.”

“You wouldn't want me to have bad luck now, would you?”

“That sure would be terrible.”

“So, what do you say, Steve? Wanna help me make sure I don't have any bad luck?”

“Please.”

With that, Steve leaned in, and Chrissy pulled him closer for the first of many kisses.

Later on, when Eddie was finally ready to leave the party, he felt terrible for how long he'd ended up leaving Chrissy on her own. But, when he found her sitting on the sofa, snuggled up to Steve and looking happier than he'd seen her in months, any trace of guilt vanished away.

[fire-branded]

8 & 14

8. What makes you stray away from canon material and base your character, in case of canon muse, on your own headcanons?

A lack of detail, most of all. If canon gives me the barest bones of information to work with, I will run with that sliver of info, dive into Headcanon Land, and never look back.

Or canonical details that I feel don't line up well enough with other details established in the content(game, in this case), things that come across to me as contradictory, things that I don't personally feel comfortable with utilizing(especially when it comes to ages of characters), or information presented in the Ultimania that don't make sense with what we know from the game itself. Because for me, the game's lore takes precedence over an outside source like the Ultimania. (Though no shade to anyone who does choose to use its info.)

That and just... the general notion of adding a personalized touch to my blorbo, you know? I do try to use canon material as at the very least a basic foundation and build off of it, but sometimes there's not enough background information, so you just have to fill in all of the details yourself.

Especially when the character you're playing as dies within the first like fifteen to twenty minutes of the fucking game, and you learn more about him through other characters than through actually ever having gotten to know him through seeing him.

14. What is the most annoying fact or trait or fanon that is attached to your muse and bothers you?

I ... admittedly have no idea. I never kept up with fandom opinions outside of my little corner here on Tumblr. Like, I'm sure Twitter and Reddit and whatnot have A Lot to say regarding him as a person, regarding his parenting, regarding his rulership over Rosaria, etc.

There is one fact that bothers me, even though I can see where people get the idea from overall despite me disliking the theory. And that's the theory that Elwin and Hanna Murdoch were having an affair behind Anabella(and Rodney too I guess?)'s back.

I can, again, understand where the theory comes from, despite heavily hating it. I don't hate it purely because of my personal feelings towards adultery; I just don't see it as a proven fact. The absence of evidence does not make evidence. We don't see enough of Elwin and Anabella on a personal, more intimate level to know what their relationship was like behind closed doors. We know Anabella was pissed at Elwin, yeah -- but again, in my personal opinion, her grievances sounded more directed at his method of and priority while ruling(putting the people first, and their territory/land second), and the decisions he made combined with his ambitions for the duchy's future. Her remarks in her Inner Thoughts thing are surprisingly neutral, with statements like, "My husband, for better or worse" and ... I forgot what exactly the one with Phoenix Gate was, but it read to me like, "Nothing personal, kid".

We also know that Elwin is very big on being an honorable, just, compassionate, and duty-driven man, and I personally doubt that excludes in his personal/familial life.

Again, these are all my personal views and interpretations.

Even the fact that Hanna still had Elwin's old outfit and whatnot doesn't automatically spell "cheating" to me, considering the home is the Murdoch's home, and Elwin and his family visited Eastpool to spend time with the Murdochs there every summer, where the description says Elwin left the clothes there to wear every time he returned to Eastpool on vacation. It screams of sentimentality to me, of the same intense grief and not wanting to move on that Hanna also shows towards Rodney. She still wears her wedding band, even nervously fidgets with it when she talks about Rodney having died at Phoenix Gate. The fact that she never moved away from Eastpool to seek refuge in Rosalith, didn't even move out of the Murdoch's home... The fact that she was selling other items from the house and family to take care of the people of Eastpool and the displaced Bearers, but never sold her wedding band, Elwin's clothes(including the Metian Bonds, which were forged for Elwin by his dad when Elwin came of age, as was tradition. They probably would have sold for a pretty penny.), or Invictus -- which was Rodney's sword.

She held on to these specific items that had been important to the two men, in my belief because of the strong emotional attachment she has to those items -- because those items are the only things she has left of Rodney and Elwin.

Oh god I rambled I AM SO SORRY.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

Hello! Congratulations on nine thousand followers... wow. Now that it's been... gosh... nearly an entire year since its conclusion, how do you feel about the best-evangelion-girl poll, in distant retrospect? I'm still a bit salty that Lilith didn't win, but hey, ridiculous gimmick polls are a democracy and I've only got one vote. Have you ever felt like you might host some other similarly complex poll again? I would really like to hear your final thoughts on the whole running-a-gimmick-poll-blog experience, now that that one is over. It's the reason why I found your main blog in the first place lol. I also really like your OCs, I ended up looking through your 'my art' tag one day and your pixel art, both old and new, is amazing. I hope you are having a wonderful ninethousandfollowersday. #lilithsweep

hi bestie! thanks for the ask

here's a quick explanation for everyone who doesn't know. I have a sideblog @best-evangelion-girl. now, it's mainly a queue blog for the anime stuff I like. but original it was a poll gimmick blog, to find which character in Evangelion was definitively the best girl and end the dumb debate once and for all. the only catch, none of the participants where any of the human characters from eva. they were all either angels or evas or mechs or whatever from the manga, anime, rebuilds, and other spinoffs. in the end, Ramiel ended up winning. but fan favorites Lilith, Unit-02, and Misato's Car all came in close behind.

I would say that in retrospect, if I would do that whole thing again, I would have planned it out better. firstly I would only do half as many entries. a lot of them were just filler. there were a ton of repeat entries because of the differences between the anime and rebuilds, and a bunch of nothing entries like the eva 4444C or whatever that cannon fodder from the fourth rebuild movie was called. I also would have scheduled the posts out ahead of time, instead of making them the day the results came in. also, I literally made all the posts on my phone during work, which probably isn't the best use of my fifteen minutes. I probably should have just waited until I got home lol.

my advice to anyone making a gimmick poll blog as someone who's done it twice now (I also had one for fictional transgender characters), start small. you don't need 64 or even 32 unique entries. you can just keep it simple. also, if you feel like it, try seeding your results based on what either you think is the most popular or by having a mini poll of a bunch of entries and ranking those by popularity.

as for if I'll host another competition like that, I'm not sure if I will. I don't have anything planned at the moment, but I'll keep you posted.

also, thanks for checking out my OCs! I love my little blorbos, and I'm super happy other people like them too! I'm still trying to figure out my style, but I feel like I've finally nailed it. pixel art is amazing, and after being almost entirely self taught for about two years, I feel like I've improved dramatically.

[screechthemighty]

Great news, everyone, I've got new God of War fanfic incoming! Of note: The original characters included in this fic are from my "memories of mother" series. Technically that series isn't Ragnarok compliant, but I love those little blorbos from my brain, so I'm going to include them here and just tweak any details about them/those stories that aren't fully canon-compliant. Also, the full fic is going to delve into Asgard's war crimes, so brace yourself for that. (And if you happen to stumble across this at random, it's a sequel to ANOTHER fic called "will you greet the daylight looming?" which is on tumblr here. For context and all.) AO3 link will be in a reblog, but you can read the full chapter below!

dreaming 'til you hit the truth | a god of war fanfic part one

cw: childbirth, mention of family loss and grief

.

fifteen years ago...

Guðrún couldn’t decide which part of the situation was more unbelievable.

That Laufey, her notoriously single-minded adoptive sister, had settled down with a man.

That she was somehow with child before Guðrún (though not by very much).

Or that the man she’d settled down with was not a man, but a god. A foreign god, from the sound of things, but a god nonetheless.

Guðrún could sense his presence behind her as she kept her eyes on Faye. She probably should have felt more threatened by him, but he was really no different than every other new father she’d encountered: anxious, unsure of what to do, and fretting. It was almost comical. Guðrún did her best to ignore him. “How do you feel?” she asked Faye gently.

Faye huffed an exhausted laugh. “Hurts.”

“But nothing feels wrong?”

“No. Just…hurts.” For a moment, Faye’s eyes flooded with tears, ones unrelated to the pain of labor. She didn’t have to say anything; she’d done her grieving early in the labor. Her mother should have been there, her mother and her blood-sisters and the older women of the community. She should have had so many people around her to help. All she had was a foreign god, and her few siblings by adoption or marriage who would be leaving her soon

As if she could sense Guðrún’s thoughts, Faye rested her head against her shoulder and spoke in a low voice: “Don’t feel guilty. You’re here for me now. That means everything.”

It didn’t feel like everything. “I’m sorry…”

Faye shook her head. “My place is here. Yours…” One of her hands shakily rested over Guðrún’s belly. “...you have to live. She has to live, too. Wherever that takes you, you live. Hear me?”

There was such fierceness in her eyes that for a second, Guðrún didn’t know how to respond. There may have been a god in this home, but in that moment, Faye felt like the most formidable one. The guardian of Jotunheim. The one who’d broken the wall of prophecy and stayed alive despite everything.

Her sister.

That spark in Faye’s eyes was suddenly replaced by confusion, excitement, fear. “Fárbauti?” she called.

The god was at her side in an instant. “What is it?” he asked.

“I think…no, he’s coming, he’s definitely coming…”

Guðrún’s training set her in motion. “All right, then, you’re almost there…you can do this, Faye. Not long now.”

 It felt like seconds and years until Guðrún was calling Fárbauti over to help her catch the baby. “All right, systur, one last push, there you go…he’s almost here…”

And then, there he was.

Just a small thing, small enough to fit in both his father’s hands. A little boy with his mother’s red hair and her eyes, once they opened. Guðrún wondered if he could sense the danger of the world he’d been born into. Maybe; maybe not.

But when he took his first deep breath and let out his first cries, Guðrún couldn’t help feeling like they were cries of defiance.

.

six months after ragnarök…

“You’ll wear a hole in the floor,” Hallveig said.

Guðrún stopped pacing and glared at her sister-in-law. “It’s not like her to be gone this long,” she pointed out.

“Laufey’s got a good head on her shoulders. A little delay doesn’t mean anything.” Hallveig’s voice was far too calm. “We haven’t seen any Aesir…”

“And the Aesir aren’t the only dangerous things in the world,” Guðrún snapped, though she knew why Hallveig had said it. She still flinched at the sound of thunder and the call of ravens. They all did. “Weren’t you almost kidnapped by a chicken house?”

“That was a misunderstanding. I told you, we sorted things out – “

The door suddenly opened. In burst Guðrún’s daughter, a whirlwind of chatter and excitement as always. “Mama, look!” she blurted, her dark hair breaking free of its braids and falling into her face. “Look at who I found!”

“Laufey Guðrúnsdottir, I…”

Guðrún’s rebuke died in her throat. Laufey was carrying a boy on her back. He had short red hair, tattered clothes, and the look of someone who had been travelling a long time. She recognized the make of his armor and weapons, the design of his tattoos.

More than anything, she recognized his eyes, big and blue and just like his mother’s.

Laufey set the boy down at the table. “Go on,” she said. “Tell her!”

Guðrún already knew, and from the look on her face, so did Hallveig. But hearing it was another thing entirely.

“I’m Loki,” said the boy. “Loki Laufeyson. And I’m here to take you home.”