đľđŠđ˘đľ đ´đŚđąđľđŚđŽđŁđŚđł đŻđŞđ¨đŠđľ â˝
âđź đđžđđ đđđđ đđśđ đđđžđ, đđđđ đđđđđ đđđžđđ, đđ đđđđš đđ đđ, đđ đđžđđ˝đ.â -taylor swift
JOEL MILLER X FEM READER!
!! Mature themes and Dark content, NSFW, MINORS DNI 18+ !!
THE LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!
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Summary: đđ§đľđŚđł đľđŠđŚ đĽđŚđ˘đľđŠ đ°đ§ đşđ°đśđł đŁđ°đşđ§đłđŞđŚđŻđĽ, đđ°đŚđ, đşđ°đś đ˘đŻđĽ đđđđŞđŚ đˇđ°đ¸ đľđ° đľđłđ˘đ¤đŹ đĽđ°đ¸đŻ đđŁđŁđş đ˘đŻđĽ đŹđŞđđ đŠđŚđł đ§đ°đł đ¸đŠđ˘đľ đ´đŠđŚ đĽđŞđĽ. đđŠđŚ đŻđŞđ¨đŠđľ đŁđŚđ§đ°đłđŚ đşđ°đśâđłđŚ đ´đśđąđąđ°đ´đŚđĽ đľđ° đđŚđ˘đˇđŚ, đşđ°đś đłđŚđŽđŞđŻđŞđ´đ¤đŚ đ˘đŁđ°đśđľ đ°đŻđŚ đ°đ§ đşđ°đśđł đŽđ°đ´đľ đ¤đŠđŚđłđŞđ´đŠđŚđĽ đŽđŚđŽđ°đłđŞđŚđ´ đ°đ§ đđ°đŚđ, đŞđŻ đŠđ°đąđŚđ´ đľđ° đ§đŚđŚđ đ¤đđ°đ´đŚđł đľđ° đŠđŞđŽ.
Content warnings: đđŽđśđľ 18+, đŠđśđłđľ/đ¤đ°đŽđ§đ°đłđľ, đ´đ˘đĽ đŚđŻđĽđŞđŻđ¨, đŽđ˘đŤđ°đł đ¤đŠđ˘đłđ˘đ¤đľđŚđł đĽđŚđ˘đľđŠ, đ¨đ°đłđş đĽđŚđąđŞđ¤đľđŞđ°đŻđ´ đ°đ§ đĽđŚđ˘đľđŠ đ˘đŻđĽ đˇđŞđ°đđŚđŻđ¤đŚ. đđłđ˘đŞđ´đŚ đŹđŞđŻđŹ, đąđŚđľ đŻđ˘đŽđŚđ´ đ´đśđ¤đŠ đ˘đ´: đ¨đ°đ°đĽ đ¨đŞđłđ, đĽđ˘đłđđŞđŻđ¨, đ´đ¸đŚđŚđľđŠđŚđ˘đłđľ. đđ°đ§đľ đ˘đŻđĽ đ˘ đđŞđ đłđ°đśđ¨đŠ đ´đŚđš, đŚđ´đľđ˘đŁđđŞđ´đŠđŚđĽ đłđŚđđ˘đľđŞđ°đŻđ´đŠđŞđą, đĽđŚđąđłđŚđ´đ´đŞđ°đŻ đ˘đŻđĽ đľđŠđ°đśđ¨đŠđľđ´ đ°đ§ đ´đśđŞđ¤đŞđĽđŚ. đđŚđ˘đĽ đ˘đľ đşđ°đśđł đ°đ¸đŻ đłđŞđ´đŹ.
Authors Note: đâđĽ đłđŚđ¤đ°đŽđŽđŚđŻđĽ đđŞđ´đľđŚđŻđŞđŻđ¨ đľđ° đľđŠđŞđ´ đŞđ´ đŽđŚ đľđłđşđŞđŻđ¨, đđ˘đŁđşđłđŞđŻđľđŠ đ˘đŻđĽ đŽđş đľđŚđ˘đłđ´ đłđŞđ¤đ°đ¤đŠđŚđľ đŁđş đđ˘đşđđ°đł đ´đ¸đŞđ§đľ đ¸đŠđŞđđŚ đłđŚđ˘đĽđŞđŻđ¨!
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You were aware of the risk that relationships during the apocalypse brought, but you and Joel had decided to take it anyways.
He was the hesitant one, the one who would end up at your doorstep saying how much he missed you, only to ignore your presence for days. It hurt, making you feel confused and led on for awhile. youâd express that to him, and soon after he began changing.
It was easy for him to let his guard down when around you. The day he met you, he knew he was going to be in trouble. Even though the world is dark and crawling with disgusting infected, being with you felt warm and inviting, like the world was actually glowing and healthy. Thatâs what you radiated; comfortability, sparks, and hope.
Joel never cared for smiling a ton. Of course heâd occasionally laugh or grin at Ellie or Tommy, But it came effortlessly as you both started talking about anything and everything. Conversing was smooth with you two, never running out of topics to discuss.
You fell first, but Joel fell harder.
He forgot about the state of the world temporarily during the moments you and him were together, and dove into you head first, never looking back. He didnât regret it, none of it.
However, You wouldnât ever get the opportunity to hear him say that for himself.
Because Joelâs gone.
Itâs been a month without him, and oh, how lonely and void it is without his aura and spirit around Jackson. Around you.
You havenât been up to much. Some patrols here and there when you feel like it, and then its back to your new home in which you havenât payed much attention too yet.
Due to Living with Joel for two years, you got used to how perfect and content your situation was, pretending as though it would last forever. You basked in it, believing that the world can be good as long as you have Joel by your side.
But now thereâs nothing making you happy. Nothing making you want to stay. You donât eat, barley sleep, avoid your friends or go on patrol. Each and every day itâs the same shit. The reality around you looks and feels unbearably bleak, but Joelâs life was the soothing light.
With Joel, each day was a blissful mystery. He knew how to keep things fresh and enjoyable, thatâs something you loved about him. He tried so hard for you, and youâd always appreciate that.
Itâs unbearable when youâre not busy. Unwelcome flashes of the evil girl taking Joelâs precious life like it meant nothing, like he hadnât changed yours for the better. No matter how hard you cried, begged and pleaded, she wouldnât stop the harsh beating on him.
Even with Ellieâs help, the girl didnât care. She decided to end it, to permanently take him away from the world. Away from you. How fucking dare she? You couldnât and still canât wrap your mind around why she would kill someone so warm and valuable to the dark world.
But the amount of rage you had didnât matter thanks to the two men holding you down, making you unable to move out of their death grip. Your eyes were plastered on your loverâs mutilated face from the golf club, the chunks of his once delicate skin now stained with dark red. The sight churned your gut, bile rising in your throat. You wanted to throw up witnessing your lifeline take his last breaths.
The hot tears streaming down your cheeks were ignored as you screamed out once more, belting erratically, âI love you, Joel! I fuckinâ love you!â
You hoped with every fiber stored away in your soul that he somehow heard your confession. A confession that neither of you had a chance to admit.
Unfortunately, unbeknownst to you, he hadnât.
He was the last thing you saw before one of them kicked you in the face, sending you unconscious. and when you woke up, it was confirmed what occurred hadnât been a terrifying nightmare. It was the cruel reality check that was inevitably catching up to you.
When you, Tommy, and Ellie had gotten home later that day, Ellie pulled you aside and expressed how you all should go out, search for Abby and her friends, and give them the revenge they rightfully deserve. And you, without a second of hesitation, agreed with her. Youâd be leaving tomorrow morning on your horses with her and Dina, since Tommy took it upon himself to unexpectedly leave sooner.
Since that haunting day, sleep for you became nonexistent due to the reoccurring flashback dreams of your boyfriend being brutally killed, invading your brain like a parasite.
Tonightâs no different. Youâre lying in your bed, the flesh of your face stained with tears, new ones joining them not long after. Your vision is fixated on your ceiling, the empty feeling from next to you creeping up like a curse.
That spot was filled with such a beautiful person not too long ago, but now it only held you. It felt absolutely dreadful and mind boggling.
Youâre alone again. And itâs your fault for believing you and Joel would live a long and happy life together while being in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Where fast, infected cannibalisticâs roam around, trying to slaughter anything they see or sense.
And the despicable, disgusting human beings who resulted in using violence instead of common decency, selfishly murdering innocent people for their supplies and what not.
This is no place to have committed relationships, but you and Joel were so in love that that no longer mattered to both of you, even though it shouldâve. Should you have been more distant with him?
No, then you wouldnât know Joelâs intelligence and his beautiful brain that matched so effortlessly with yours, you wouldnât know what being in love felt like, you wouldnât know how a person should be treated. Joel taught you many things, including taking chances.
You donât regret it. Youâd never regret being with him. Even though your heart, body and mind aches and longs for his presence, its worth it to have the amazing memories you created with him.
The memories. Theyâre all you have left. Thank god you remember every moment you shared with Joel, that way you can revisit them whenever you want.
Right now was one of those moments. You miss him terribly, wishing you could see him even for one last time because thatâs better than nothing. Anything to get that last image of him out of your head so it canât haunt you anymore.
You turned your body to the side, eyes fluttering shut as you decided to imagine one of your favorite memories of you and Joel.
Specifically that September night.
âââ
Autumn leaves glided through the air until they fell onto the ground, the crisp afternoon air picking up with some wind.
The perfect temperature and visuals of fall, yours and Joelâs favorite time of the year. The weather isnât too hot or cold, you get to wear sweatshirts, and cuddling up next to him is the cherry on top.
Itâs been one year since youâve moved in with your boyfriend, Joel, and you both couldnât have been happier being side by side.
You know the risks, but to be able to call Joel Miller yours was very much worth it, and vise versa; he couldnât get enough of you.
Currently, you and Joel just got back home from patrolling a new town a few hours away, scouting it out for potential enemies or infected.
While there wasnât a living person there, multiple infected were and so you and Joel gained a kill count of 20, making both of you completely spent and exhausted.
You went right home, but didnât go straight to sleep. Joel started humming to himself during his shower, and you decided to ask him to sing you another song while playing his guitar.
His voice was one of your favorite things about him. You could sit and listen to Joel sing for hours, your eyes glued on him the entire time, entranced.
Of course, Joel said yes. He wouldnât deprive you of anything you wanted, especially when it comes directly from him.
You sat on the chairs placed on the porch, starring at Joelâs fingers strumming the guitar strings as he cleared his throat.
The moment Joel sung, you were dialed in. His voice was low and gruff, but smooth and controlled at the same time. It was the perfect melody for your ears, pleasantly listening to him while your lips curved into a smile.
Joel never made eye contact while singing, as it made him quite flustered, and he didnât want to sound bad to anyone, but especially to you.
But with you sitting besides him, softly humming the same tune, eyes either locked on his face lovingly or down to his hands, he couldnât resist connecting his gaze inside of yours, all the while still singing and you humming.
Your chest crackled like a fire, spreading an unbelievable amount of warmth throughout your body, and you suddenly had an epitome.
You felt euphoric in this moment with Joel, doing something simply domestic while living in a hellish nightmare. Youâd feel kinda bad and guilty for feeling this happy, but truthfully, you both deserve it.
Joel stops singing to chuckle lightly, âWhat? Why are ya starring at me?â
I love you, you wanted to say, but instead you settled on giggling cutely. âI canât look at you?â
One thing about yourâs and Joelâs relationship that isnât the healthiest is the only set rule you both mutually agreed upon: no saying I love you.
It made sense. No saying I love you so if one of you were to die, it would somehow make the grief easier. You were all for that rule at first, But now you wanted to screw the fucking rules and blurt it aloud.
You canât no matter how much you may want too, though, because you know Joel promptly sticks to the rules and hates breaking them. He felt strongly about not saying I love you, he was the one to bring it up when you both started dating.
Confessing wouldnât end up well. Youâre sure Joel would run away the second he heard those words out of your mouth. He would be terrified, because him dying would ruin you, love is a big word with a big meaning and you feeling it meant that it was real.
Joel snickers and plays random strings on his guitar, âRight. I can tell you were in thought.â
A part of you sometimes hates when he can see right through you.
âWell, your voice is great and so is your guitar playing. Iâm wowed every time you sing for me, thatâs what Iâm thinking.â Okay, not a complete lie. You just left out the part where you realized you had fallen in love with him. Not a huge deal, right? Thereâs a rule for a reasonâŚ
Joel mumbles under his breath, looking away for a second. He always does this when you boldly compliment him, he still isnât used to that. He wonât complain, though, he loves when you explain why you like him.
Why do you like him? Joel canât see what you do, constantly bashing himself any chance he can get. What makes your vision and opinion different than his? How come you donât acknowledge his many flaws?
Youâre too good for him. And thatâs why Joel hates that he has loved you for months now, the feeling only growing the longer he spends time with you.
This isnât like him. Should he get checked for something? Because Joel is shocked that he disregarded his own rules for another person. Let alone a romantic relationship.
Joel had a list of rules that you donât know about to this day. The first time he saw your breathtaking face, and heard that dainty, addicting laugh, he knew he had to hold himself back. He knew that youâd cause him some inner turmoil. Just by seeing you for the first time ever.
He decided to ignore youâre presence all together, pretending as though you didnât exist.
That was short lived when he got a little too drunk, finding himself approaching you by the horse stables. You were just getting back from evening patrol when you noticed him walking up to you.
You both found you had most things in common. Basic components like: Music taste, weather, your love for beer, camping out in the woods, etcetera. Long story short, you and Joel hit it off and the rest was history. Of course, over time, deeper personal stories and life experiences were shared, only making your connection stronger.
As much as he loves you, Joel refuses to say it. You voluntarily agreed with his rule, so he didnât want to fuck everything up when youâd most likely get scared and distance yourself away from him. Thatâs the last thing he wants, so if he canât say it to save what you both have, then so be it.
Joel faces you. âDo you got morninâ patrol tomorrow?â
You bite your lip to suppress a smirk. âNope. Jesse wanted another shift so he offered to go in my place. Why, do you?â
But you already know what his answer will be. âGood, âcause I donât either.â His eyes lock in your pretty frame, tongue gliding along his inner cheek, the intensity making you feel hot.
You vaguely bat your lashes, âCome here.â
Joel instantly obliged, standing to his feet, you following suit, heart ramming against your chest as he crept towards you at an achingly slow pace, anticipation building inside you.
You havenât been able to feel him all day, breathe in his intoxicating scent of woods with a hint of refreshing mint, shocking given the circumstances, but he always smelt good to you.
His eyes never tear from yours, his body coming to a halt just an inch away while he lifts up his muscular arm, hand cupping the side of your jaw, giving your flesh there a tight squeeze.
The sensations of his fingers digging into you sent goosebumps along your skin, the hungry gleam mixed inside his eyes sending arousal to form down below.
âJoel,â your soft voice was just above a whisper, his name masking a plea.
He playfully clicked his tongue, âAlways so impatient.â
Before you could retaliate, Joelâs lips crashed into yours, blissfully in sync, your soft mouth pushing more force into his lips as your desire grew.
Joel groaned huskily, disconnecting your mouths, leaving you in a pout. He chuckles at your dim reaction, reaching for your hand. You intertwine with him, smiling warmly.
âCan I take you to the bedroom?â He asks genuinely, making sure that you still want this.
And god, do you.
âPlease,â you tease, chewing your bottom lip, doe eyes laced with a plea.
Joel leans in dangerously close to your lips, âIâm gonna need a yes, darlinâ.â
Heat rushes to your core at the nickname, and if youâre honest, him wanting your verbal consent poured more gasoline onto the sparkling fire.
You ghost your lips over his, so subtly, âFuck yes.â
He smirks handsomely, gently pulling you behind him as he leads both of you through the house, up the stairs, and into your shared bedroom.
You kick the door shut as Joel spins around, his fiery eyes boring into you intently, stepping an inch away from you, bringing either of his hands to grip your waist possessively, tingles running through your flaming skin at the touch.
He forcefully pulls you flush to his body, more warmth radiating off from him. Your arms wrap around his neck, head tilting to the side as he did the same, lips moving together feverishly, desperately, like this was the last time youâd be able to kiss him.
Your fingernails dig into the back of his neck, earning a low growl from the back of Joelâs throat, making your clit pulse and wetness collect in your underwear.
Your kisses become more passionate but impatient, moving your hands down the front of Joelâs clothed stomach, hovering them over his belt.
He chuckled, flicking his gaze below. âEager Darlin?â
You nod without a second thought, âI want you, Joel.â
Joelâs eyes widen, something shifting inside of them as he admires you, drinking in your sight and how fucking gorgeous you look before him, eyes begging for him to do more, lips moist and red from the rough kissing, hair slightly messy due to Joelâs wandering hands. It was heaven on earth for him.
âYouâre so beautiful.â He compliments lowly, knots forming in the pit of your stomach, heat rushing to your cheeks.
You bite your bottom lip, âCome back.â
Joel cups your jaw harshly, the stinging causing adrenaline to rush throughout you as he returns his mouth to yours the hardest youâve think heâs ever done, the force making you stumble back a little so you fist his blue button up shirt with both hands, a noise of surprise leaving your lips.
He groans gruffly, shoving his tongue into your mouth when it opened for him, and you gladly accepted, your fingers sliding up to the top button of his shirt, starting to undo them quickly.
Joel parts away, watching you practically rip his shirt off, tossing it across the room. You take his hands and guide them to the hem of your short sleeve, letting him know it was okay to do the same.
You lift your arms up so that itâs easier to peel off, Joel pulling it off you with ease, throwing it to where his shirt fell.
His eyes instantly lock with your bare chest, nipples perky and breasts full, his mouth watering just from starring at them. You feel slightly flustered, but Joel dives in, sucking your nipple and nibbling it softly, the sensation purely perfection, a soft moan escaping your mouth. Your hand flies to the nape of his neck, shoving him harder into your flesh, his tongue swirling around your areola and teeth gently biting your nipple.
âFuck, Joel.â You tilt your head back when he gives the same treatment to your other boob, biting the inside of your cheek due to the pleasure.
âYou sound so pretty like that,â He praises, looking up at you, and the sight made your core drip. You needed more. You needed him.
You take it upon yourself to yank him away, and he glares at you with confusion, but when he notices your thighs squeezed together, he smirks with realization.
âMy pretty girl want more?â He asks tauntingly, standing up straight and gazing directly into your narrowed eyes.
You nod. He clicks his tongue. âUse your words, sweetheart.â
Your clit pulsed at the pet name, arousal becoming unbearable. âYes, I want more.â You admit bashfully, bathing in too much desire to care about embarrassment.
Joel furrows his eyebrows, âYeah? Câmere.â
You oblige, walking towards the bed, laying down on your back but holding yourself up with your elbows, watching Joel kneel down in front of you, full of anticipation.
He just takes a moment to observe every crevice of your body, the healed scars from your dark past, only adding to your beauty, the random freckles along your skin, your perfect thighs, waist, faceâ- everything. You are stunning in Joelâs eyes, not just on the outside, but inside too.
He begins pecking his soft lips down your legs, reaching closer to where you needed him most, but heâd retreat and kiss the other way, blatantly teasing you.
âJoel.â You complain with a groan, and he sucks on your inner thigh. âWant something, darlinâ?â
Your eyebrows pull together, âPlease, I need more.â
He wanted you to be clearer with your words, but with how much youâre begging for him and how pretty you sound, he donât deny you anymore.
Joel grabs the undersides of your thighs, dragging you closer to him and he moves your legs to dangle over his broad shoulders, displaying his toned muscles and brawny build, your mouth dropping at the sight.
âYou look so fuckin good.â You daintily gushed, softly giggling as Joelâs cheeks flushed. He gives a thank you by kissing your covered pussy, your annoying pajama pants still on, but nonetheless the pressure felt good, but you yearned for more.
He knows what you really want, but he wonât give it to you just yet. Heâs gonna teach you some god damn patience.
His tongue darts out, applying blissful force to your clit, your head falling backwards as your mouth parted open again. Your right hand pulls at his hair, trying to shove him harder into you, but he relents.
âSo needy,â he scoffs, âCanât I play with you for a bit?â He suggests with amusement, knowing that isnât what you want.
You look at him with furrowed eyebrows. âPlease, Joel. At least take these off.â You gesture to your pants, and he snickers.
How could he reject you when you sound so desperate for him? âOkay, baby. Lift up.â You do as told, lifting yourself up while Joel pulls your pants down, taking them completely off and discarding them behind him. Your legs return over his shoulders, this time the only garment covering your pussy being your black panties.
It was a step closer, so youâd take it. Joelâs warm mouth sucks your skin, his teeth biting every so often, slowly but surely making his way down to your core.
Your heart is practically thumping out of your chest, desire building the more his lips work their magic, your clit starting to ache from wanting to be touched. You choke out a irritated moan, glaring at your unfazed boyfriend.
He ignores you, keeping his slow pace down your thighs, leaving dark purple hickeys in place. You watch him, letting out whimpers.
Finally, his wet tongue glides over your slit, stopping to suck at your clit. Your back arches as electricity pulses through you, belting a satisfied whimper, Joel groaning into your pussy, the vibrations making it feel euphoric.
The noises coming from you shrink Joelâs resolve, and soon heâs moved your panties to the side and started devouring you like you were his last meal on earth.
His lips encase your clit and he harshly sucked while two fingers thrusted inside of you over and over again, you letting out uncontrollable cries and whines from the immense pleasure.
Your legs and back would be hovering off the bed if it wasnât for Joelâs strong grip on them, holding you down with all his might. The tip of his tongue circled your clit deliciously, sparks of pleasure coursing around it.
His fingers hit your g spot each stroke, your high catching up to you faster than intended. Joelâs assault on your pussy felt amazing, itâs not your fault you wonât last when heâs a master at this.
When he felt your walls clench around his digits, Joel knew that your orgasm was coming soon. Since he felt heâs denied you enough, he came to the decision to award you.
Joelâs tongue works quickly at your clit, hammering his fingers faster than before, rocking your body and tits back and forth, his dick hardening uncomfortably tight in his pants from looking at your contorted facial expression, mouth agape, moans and high pitched whines releasing like beautiful notes, eyes screwed impossibly shut with furrowed brows, head thrown back, enunciating your jaw line.
âYou gonna cum sweetheart?â Joel muses, already aware that you were, but the tease earned him a dragged out groan of his name. God, his favorite part of sex is having the privilege of making you cum on his tongue and fingers. He doesnât even need his dick to make you all fucked out, and he feels proud that he has the ability to make you feel good.
You chew your lip roughly, sharp pain emitting from the flesh there, but you hardly care. Youâre on the verge of letting go, and your desire to cum grows bigger each second his fingers pound your pussy, his mouth returning to your swollen bud, both sensations adding to the desperation.
âFuck, Iâm gonna cum.â You warn, the back of your head involuntarily slamming into the pillow beneath you, feeling your orgasm build rapidly as Joel continues his actions, going faster when you grip his hair and shove him further into your core, one more stroke of his fingers and one more lap at your clit makes your inner coil explode, your orgasm washing over your body harshly, fingernails digging through Joelâs skin, legs uncontrollably shaking, your desire seeping out of your hole and covering Joelâs fingers, soaking them entirely.
Youâre a panting mess, and you havenât even fucked him yet. Your chest rises and falls while your heart pounds speedily, feeling as though it was about to tear out of your body. You stare at Joel lovingly in your post orgasmic daze, watching as he sexily brings he fingers inside of his mouth, sucking your juices clean off.
Your pussy throbbed, yearning for more of him. Your eyes flicked to his jeans, and the apparent bulge only added to your want. He met your gaze, smirking at your approval, he motioned you over with a tilt of his head, his need for you rising as you get on your knees for him, hands roaming over his tent.
Joel quietly sighed with relief when your fingertips ghost over his clothed dick, electric waves streaming inside of his veins, teeth gnawing at his cheek. Your hand cupped his cock, caressing it through the dark blue material. He groaned huskily, hand reaching your hair to create a makeshift ponytail.
âDonât be a fuckinâ tease. Canât you suck it for me?â Joel boldly questions with dripping inclination, thick eyebrows drawing downwards. He sounded frenzied and intoxicated with arousal, and youâd be honored to give it to him.
You nod sheepishly, unbuckling his belt and sliding it through his jean loops, throwing it onto the floor. Next, you undid his button and pulled the zipper down, his pants following suit until Joel was left only in his grey boxers.
His dick was springing upwards, begging to be released and finally touched. You could tell he was becoming eager from how his grasp on your hair tightened, causing pleasurable stinging on your scalp.
You beam at him through your lashes, his eyes peering straight inside of yours, letting you know this was okay, so you slid down his boxers, freeing his large, thick shaft from its restrains. Purple bulging veins were prominent through his skin, leaking pre-cum dripping from his flushed tip.
âWhatâre you waitinâ for?â Joel complains impatiently, and you send him a glare. âYou made me wait much longer, I think youâre fine.â
He shakes his head, not able to retaliate because you were right, he had took his sweet time with you deliberately to tease you, to make you want more, to have you beg for his mouth, and now he was being a hypocrite, demanding for you to hurry up and suck him off already.
But he didnât particularly expect you to show him attitude, since majority of the time you never act dominant, but something about the sharpness and how bratty your sultry voice sounded made blood pulse in his cock.
You lean your head down to his dick, sticking out your tongue, running a stripe of saliva over his stiffened shaft, up to his tip where you halted your mouth and gently sucked, lapping up his creamy pre cum, the salty and bitter taste melting on your tongue.
Joel sucked in a rush of oxygen through his teeth, exhaling a shaky growl at the feeling of your wet appendage wrapping his dick delectably, his heart starting to thump a mile a minuet.
Your hand snaked the base of him as your tongue continued to lick over his tinted skin, darting it out when you approached the slit. You opened your mouth wider, preparing to take his huge cock inside.
You take a deep breath using your nose, slowly lowering your hot mouth down his throbbing dick, Joelâs hand clutching your hair, pulling on it harder than before.
âFuck.â Joel grunts, eyes glued to your pretty form taking his while dick without having to ask. âYouâre such a good girl.â
You mewl onto his cock, sending warm and tingly sensations to encase him pleasantly, watching as you begin to bob your head quicker, taking advantage of your free hand to jerk what you couldnât fit, which wasnât much. You enjoyed being stuffed with Joelâs dick, choking on it and hearing the sexy noises he belts out thanks to you.
The oxygen in your lungs was about to run out, so you slid his cock out with a pop, gathering saliva inside of your mouth, spitting it slowly onto his tip while your eyes bore into his narrowed ones, smiling at him mischievously, suddenly going back in for more.
You were relentless this time, sucking, lapping, spitting, and jerking his swollen, girthy dick. Joel borderline whines at the merciless attack, but the intense and overwhelming desire distracted him from acknowledging that.
It hadnât gone unnoticed by you, however. The whine was monotone, yet the last string of his voice changed octaves, your walls clenching at the beautiful noises.
Joel yanked your lips off his cock, saliva dripping onto your chin as you glanced up at him cluelessly, wondering why he wanted you to stop. But he pulled you back up so that you both were aligned, grabbing the bottom of your chin to kiss you feverishly, his tongue immediately finding home in your inviting mouth, softly moaning into his.
He pulled away, scanning your features and gorgeous body, and he realized he couldnât take anymore foreplay. Joel wanted to fuck you, to make you feel blissful, euphoric, enchanted. He wanted you to only want him forever, only want him to do this to you, kiss you, feel your supple skin, admire the scars the normal eye canât see. He wants to be the only one you curl up with at night, underneath the comfortable and warm blanket, bodies touching with gentle carcasses.
While Joel paused to stare at you with an unreadable yet soft expression, you tilted your head to the side and brushed your fingers along his jawline.
âAre you okay?â You asked, worried that he mightâve changed his mind about continuing.
But he just laughed. âOf course I am. I canât look at you?â He uses your words from earlier on purpose, and you chuckle along with him, agreeing.
âThatâs fair,â You conclude, licking your lips. âJoel?â
He leans in closer, his hot breath fanning your face. âYes darlinâ ?â
You repeat his actions, noses brushing together subtly. âPlease, fuck me.â
Your beg ignited an animalistic fire in Joelâs chest, his possessiveness over you fueling because of how bad you craved him, and how could he deny you of that when itâs so blatant that you want him just as much as he wants you?
Joel nudged you to lay flat on your back, the back of your head and neck resting softly on your pillow, but corked enough to have a clear visual of your boyfriend, who was now hovering slightly over your frame, arms caging you in between them, bent at the elbow as his face drew an inch from yours.
His pretty brown eyes with a tinge of green were gaping at you, him becoming enthralled once again by how fucking beautiful you looked underneath him, legs already spread out, giving him full access to your most intimate parts.
You displayed no ounce of hesitations, showing that you fully trusted him to take care of you and your body, and satisfaction filled Joel to the brim.
His cock poked at your soaked entrance, your walls clenching around nothing, desperately wanting to feel him inside of you.
You pout at him, eyes begging. âPlease.â Your eyes fly shut when he suddenly thrusts his dick in your pussy, the size stretching your walls perfectly, coating him with your delightful juices.
Joel unleashed a dragged out groan, his dick feeling remarkably euphoric, your wet pussy pulsing around him repeatedly, your hands flying to his back where they mindlessly clawed at.
It felt good; the burning pain. Because he knows itâs due to you feeling good too. Joel always ensures that he isnât the only one having a good time, and always makes you cum first.
Joel begins at a slow pace, his hazy, narrowed eyes boring delicately into your lust-filled ones, you both starring as he thrusts inside of you, the tip of his cock hitting your G spot relentlessly.
Your nails dug so harshly into his back that they ended up breaking skin, but Joel only groans at the feeling, tingles wracking up through his flesh.
He suddenly changes his speed, using his elbows to hover above you while he hammers his dick continuously in your gushing pussy, juices leaking down his shaft and the sight makes blood flow down his cock.
âFuck, sweetheart.â Joel growls, grabbing each side of your lower torso, forcing your body to fuck him harder, the intense pressure curling your toes and slamming your head back into the pillow, a yelp ripped out of your throat, one of your hands finding their way to cup Joelâs throat.
Your hand tightens around it before yanking him so that his lips crash on yours desperately, all clacking teeth and wet mouths moving together quickly, tongues entering not long after.
But your impending orgasm was building rapidly in the pit of your stomach, the coil flaming hot and ready to explode any moment. And again, itâs because of Joel and his knowledge on how to make you feel good.
Joel pulls away from you, sitting back a bit on his knees, your legs hooked around his torso, his eyes roaming down your flushed and sweaty body, his hands still using you to fuck his cock while he keeps slamming into you.
Your back arches off the bed, left hand gripping the pillow. His dick moves impossibly faster, the tip assaulting your cervix each stroke. Youâre uncontrollably moaning at this point, the pleasure in every inch of your euphoric body.
He can feel your walls pulsing and clenching around his dick, a tell tale sign that youâre close. Joel moans at the feeling, jaw clenching as he thrusts quicker.
Joel leans down to your level, a smirk pulling on his kiss bruised lips. âYou gonna cum on my dick, baby?â He tuts, biting his bottom lip.
You nod frantically, eyes screwed shut, preparing yourself for an orgasmâ- until Joel stops all together. Annoyance floods your system, lifting your head up to glare impatiently at your boyfriend.
He chuckles gruffly, lowering himself next to your ear, âI didnât hear a yes.â
You groan, âYes, Joel.â
Joel nods with satisfaction. âNow that wasnât too hard, was it?â
âFuck you,â you muse, wrapping your arms around his broad neck, pulling him flush to your body.
âI am, baby.â Joel playfully retorts, caressing your face with his fingers, until they reached your neck, giving it a tight squeeze.
You whine, âPlease, move.â
He wastes no time obliging, as he is close too, and his patience is thinner than a thread. Heâs fervent, groaning lowly, watching as your eyes roll to the back of your head when he starts again.
Joelâs hips thrust over and over into your throbbing pussy, both of you drunk off endorphins and unmatched bliss, releasing groans and moans together as you get closer to bursting.
âF- fuck.â Joel stutters while he slams into you.
âCanât hold out much longer, darling.â He warns, but youâre too fucked out to reply, your orgasm about to wash over you next time he hits your G spot.
You arch your back, toes curling into the mattress, hands holding onto Joelâs back while he pounds you into the bed.
âGonna cum, Joel.â You moan, âCan I cum?â
Joel answers you, both by saying, âYeah, sweetheart, Let go for me.â And following that up by bringing his fingers to your puffy clit, rubbing it speedily back and forth or in circles, his pace in your walls aggressive and loving.
The moment he added to your exponential pleasure, the boiling hot coil in your tummy exploded like a firework show, your vision turning white and your body convulsing with euphoria, Joelâs name repeatedly pouring out of your mouth like a mantra, your cum leaking out of your gummy pussy, right on Joelâs dick.
Joel fucks you through your orgasm, now chasing his own, but it didnât take long after he felt the way your pussy clenched harshly around him, your juices soaking his cock. The way your soft voice belted his name sent him over the edge, though, stilling inside of you as thick white ropes shot out of his slit, animalistic growls coming from his throat.
You both take a moment to recollect yourselves, catching your breaths as they were very much temporarily taken away. The room was blistering hot and your bodies were sweaty, but nonetheless Joel kissed your forehead and gave you a smile.
âYou okay?â He questions as he peels his frame off of yours, laying down next to you instead.
You giggle, shifting your body to the side so you could look at him. âWell, I am now.â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âShush.â
His arms reach out to you, pulling you against him. You rest your head on his chest, snaking one arm over his torso, holding him tightly.
âAre you okay?â You follow up, tiredness creeping up on you, eyes drifting slowly, but you feel him nod.
âIm Perfect. Go to sleep, baby. You gotta long day tomorrow.â He reminds, and you heavily sigh thinking about having to wake up early even though you didnât have patrol.
You wonât disagree with that.
After using the bathroom quick, you head back to bed with Joel, curling up comfortably next to him, arms lacing together like puzzle pieces. Your head returns to his chest, but this time you close your eyes and breathe out with contentment, sleep finding you instantly.
It doesnât find Joel as easily, though.
His fingers lace through your hair, gently playing with it while he admires your sleeping frame, and the soft breaths that release from your nose ensuring him that youâre alive and that youâre actually here, lying in his arms.
And Joel smiles.
âI love you.â he mutters under his breath, so quietly that even he had a hard time hearing it.
Heâs positive that you didnât, but selfishly, a part of him truly hopes that you did.
Unfortunately, unbeknownst to him, you hadnât.
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Too Late - Bucky Barnes
Masterlist
đđ˘đłđŻđŞđŻđ¨đ´ - đđ¸đŚđ˘đłđŞđŻđ¨, đˇđŞđ°đđŚđŻđ¤đŚ, đŁđđ°đ°đĽ, đ˘đŻđ¨đ´đľ, đ¤đŠđ˘đłđ˘đ¤đľđŚđł đĽđŚđ˘đľđŠ. đđŚđ˘đĽ đ˘đľ đşđ°đśđł đ°đ¸đŻ đĽđŞđ´đ¤đłđŚđľđŞđ°đŻ!
đđ°đłđĽ đđ°đśđŻđľ - 2đŹ
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đđłđŞđ¨đŞđŻđ˘đ đŚđŻđĽđŞđŻđ¨ (đđŠđŚ đ§đđśđ§đ§đş đˇđŚđłđ´đŞđ°đŻ)
Sweat dripped down your forehead as you sprinted through the compound, a growl leaving your lips when the super soldier sped past you. There was nobody on this planet you hated more than Bucky Barnes, and he could say the same about you.
âWill you hurry the fuck up?â He spat in your direction, elbowing a guard out of his way. The urge to shoot the ex assassin emerged, and you had to lower your gun just to stop yourself.
Believe it or not, you actually used to be friends. Laughing, joking and deep conversations were part of your norm. But one day, it just changed, for him anyway. He couldnât stand to be within 5 feet of you. So, you wordlessly agreed to keep your distance, and the team understood that. All apart from Tony, who believed that you just needed âbonding timeâ. Not that youâd call killing half a crime organisation a good team building activity.
âShut up and let me do my job, Barnes.â You grunted, shoving past him to get into the records room. With a scoff, he followed you in and started glancing around the room. The tension in the air was getting thicker by the second, and you wasted no time in accessing the files you needed from the database. Your eyes flicked to the ex assassin, and a small pang shot through your heart. Part of you missed him, the way he made you feel. He was the first and only person youâd ever loved, not that he knew that.
A shallow beeping sound gained your attention, making you furrow your eyebrows and turn to Bucky. He looked around the room before facing you with a shrug. You opened your mouth to say something, but the door got kicked open, revealing three more enemies.
Before you could grab your weapon, a gunshot bounced around the room. Ringing filled your ears, and you couldnât focus on anything happening around you. It was like you were underwater. You couldnât even scream when a sharp pain ripped through your stomach.
Grunts and screams echoed off the walls while Bucky took care of the men. Once they were down, he turned around to chew you out for not helping. But he stopped in his tracks when he noticed the growing blood stain on your abdomen. Panic flowed through his veins as he examined you, eyes glassy and hands covered in your blood. The part of him that still cared for you, still loved you, wanted to reach out and hold you in his arms.
âNo, no, no fuck, Y/N. We need to g-â
The beeping sound from earlier got louder and distracted his thoughts. His brows furrowed in thought, and eyes widened when he worked out what it was. Without thinking, he lunged forward, forcing you to the floor and shielding your body with his as the bomb went off. Pained grunts fell from his lips as bricks dropped on his back and glass pierced his skin. As soon as it was over, his eyes ran over your body frantically while he found your pulse, letting out a relieved sigh at your steadily beating heart.
Small whimpers escaped your throat as you came round, and you tried to push yourself up, but the intense pain that travelled through your body made you flop back down.
âDonât move.â Bucky warned, standing up and scanning the room. âShit, weâre blocked in.â
His metal hand ran over his face in frustration and he stomped over to the doorway, attempting to move the debris that trapped you in. Explicativeâs were the only sounds leaving his mouth, and even in your current state you found a way to roll your eyes at him. Ignoring his demands, you dragged yourself up off of the floor. After wobbling on your feet for a second, you made your way over to the ex assassin, who was now muttering into his earpiece.
â20 minutes?! Sheâs been shot, Steve! - Fine, yes, I know.â
Hearing your pained whimpers, he spun around with a look of disbelief. Of course you wouldnât listen and stay down. You leaned back against some of the more stable rubble and hesitantly looked down at the wound. It was serious, and bleeding out quicker than youâd have liked.
âWell, dying trapped in an enemy compound with you wasnât how I saw myself going. No offence.â You chuckled, but you both knew it was humourless.
Something snapped in him, and he shook his head in thought. He couldnât let you die, not now, never. There were too many unspoken words, apologies, and confessions he had to make first. Pushing you away was the most stupid, hardest decision he ever made, and he has never regretted it more than he did while you stood there dying.
He pulled his shirt over his head, much to your confusion, before rushing over to you.
âYouâre not dying here.â He stated, fingers hovering over the zip of your suit. âCan I?â
You slowly nodded, observing the shirtless man as he removed the top half of your suit. A hiss escaped your lips when his finger brushed over the wound, making him mutter apologies. Nausea hit as soon as you saw it, and you turned your head in the opposite direction to keep your breakfast down. Bucky winced at the sight and firmly pressed his shirt onto your stomach. Your blood soaked his hand, and he was sure this image would be the source of his nightmares for a long time. Especially if he couldnât save you.
Out of nowhere, you started laughing. Maybe it was because of the situation, or maybe it was because of blood loss, but you couldnât stop. He raised his eyebrow at you, confusion written all over his face.
âJust never thought youâd be the last person to see me shirtless, Barnes.â You sighed, dizziness making you stumble to your side. His arm automatically snaked around your waist, dragging you into his chest to keep you steady. Silence filled the room again, and you rested your head against his shoulder, not caring about petty arguments anymore. You just wanted him to hold you. The urge to close your eyes was beating you, so you did, leaving Bucky to bear the full weight of your body.
With uneven breaths, he lowered you back onto the ground, shaking your arms gently.
âHey, Y/N. You need to open your eyes for me, okay?â He paused, placing his fingers back on your pulse. âPlease, open your eyes.â
The rhythm of your heart was slowing, and he knew you didnât have long. Hovering over you, he brushed the stray strands of hair out of your face. Your slightly parted lips left light breaths over his face while your skin paled. But even near death, you were the most beautiful woman heâd ever seen.
A small gasp left your throat as your eyes fluttered open, landing on Buckyâs panic stricken ones. He let out a relieved sigh, and lifted his bloodstained hand to check on the wound.
âBuck.â You croaked out. âI donât think Iâm gonna survive this.â
He shook his head frantically, but he knew you were right as he saw the life slowly leave your eyes.
âHey, weâre gonna get you out of here, get you home. Just hold on a little longer, okay?â He almost begged.
Watching you slowly slip away broke his heart. It was killing him that he couldnât do anything more than try to stop the bleeding and just be there. If he could swap places with you, he would do it without question. You deserved to live, to be happy.
âI loved you, before you pushed me away.â You stated, the confession making his wide eyes water. âI think I still do, Buck.â
Millions of thoughts ran through his head as he attempted to process your words. Your hand settled against his cheek and left a bloody print upon his skin. A tear escaped his pained eyes, hitting the tips of your fingers as you wiped it away. He lay a shaky hand on yours with a strangled cry.
âI pushed you away because I love you.â
Tears stained your dusty cheeks, and you dragged him down, hovering your lips over his while your shallow breaths tickled his skin. The kiss you shared was passionate, desperate, and tragic; almost like it was ripped from the pages of a Shakespearean novel. Muffled sobs echoed around the room as you tasted Bucky for the first time and held him for the last. He reluctantly pulled away, and his eyes explored your face, trying to memorise every inch of you while a spark of life still remained.
âPromise me you wonât lose yourself, donât become him again. You are more than that, Buck.â You whispered, stroking his parted lips with your thumb. He nodded quickly, and allowed you to relax into his chest. His fingers drew patterns on your arm as he hummed into your hair, rocking you gently as you slipped away.
The last few pages of a book were your least favourite part of a story as a child. You hated the endings, knowing there was nothing left of the tale or the characters. But in death, you realised that endings were so much more. They gave a chance for redemption, closure and new beginnings for the characters left behind.
Now, you were on the last page of your story, and you were ready for it to be turned.
He felt it. He felt your heart as it stopped beating and your chest as it stopped rising. Bucky felt you slip away. It was underwhelming, in a way. There was no dramatic last breath, or long monologue. You just ceased to exist. One second you were there, the next you were gone.
Death wasnât a foreign experience for the former Winter Soldier, but losing someone he loved, that was, and so were the emotions that followed.
Numb. That was the only way to describe the way he felt. The need to cry and scream until his voice cracked was overwhelming, but he couldnât even make a sound. Not yet. So he silently cried, clutching your limp body to his chest with his face buried in your hair.
By the time the Avengers arrived, making noise was no longer an issue. It made it easy for them to find him; they just followed the pained screams, the curses to god, and the strangled sobs that tumbled from the ex assassinâs lips.
Only Steve knew of Buckyâs hidden love, and thatâs why he was the only person who didnât freeze at the scene before them. The super solider quietly stepped forward, crouching down to his grieving best friend. With a sigh, he reached out to touch your shoulder, but a bloodied hand shot out and almost crushed his wrist. A crazed look swirled in Buckyâs distraught eyes as he turned to his best friend with a clenched jaw.
âDonât fucking touch her.â He growled.
Ignoring the othersâ presence, he returned his attention back to your body and twirled a lock of your hair around his metal finger. They needed to leave; he knew that. But a part of him hoped, prayed that youâd suddenly come back to him. That colour would return to your cheeks, and your chest would start rising and falling.
A strangled sob ripped from his throat. âShe loved me, Steve. We kissed and now sheâs gone.â
The vulnerability that Bucky displayed was something he had never revealed before, even to his best friend. It was raw, a downright devastating sight for everyone in the room. Losing you had completely torn him apart, and they didnât know how he would recover from this, or even if he could.
âWe need to go, Buck.â Steve whispered, gently placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
With one last kiss to your forehead, Bucky nodded. Carefully, he stood up with you still in his arms, holding you as close to his body as possible. He shoved past the other Avengers, not sparing them a second look as he started the journey to the jet.
âIâm going to get you home, doll.â
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