#•》taking every chance I've got like the man I know I'm not (ic)

[cherriegyuu]

lens of ice | yjh | one

pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, smut in the next part word count: 12k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: jeonghan is kind of reckless with his body a/n: i've been writing this one for so long now and though it's not finished yet, i decided to post half of it, as a way to motivate myself to finish it. i really wanna thank @ressonancee first for giving me idea and second for helping me through all of this and putting up my crazy ass mind 💓

part one | part two (final)

The light buzzing of the fluorescent lights made him uncomfortable, it was like a premonition of what was to come. Something bad, he was sure.

Jeonghan was many things in his life, stubborn perhaps being the most obvious one, but dumb wasn't one then. He knew that his ankle was fucked up, that he was probably the cause of it. Too many hours of training, never giving himself enough time to heal before he got the ice again. He didn't know exactly how bad it was, that was for the doctor in front of him to say, but Jeonghan knew that nothing good would come out of the man's mouth.

"It's worse than I thought," the man said with a sigh, taking off his glasses "It's not just your ankle anymore, it's also your knee. And, I could be wrong, but considering the way you're walking, I'd say that you're right ankle also started to bother you"

Jeonghan hung his head. He was an athlete and he knew that he was being reckless, beyond actually. He should have gone to his coach the second he felt a sharp pain in his ankle. But he just went home, took an ice bath, and kept the whole thing to himself. Even on the following days, when the pain didn't go away at all, he still chose to keep his mouth shut and go to practice every day. And his coach, unaware of his condition, kept pushing him during practice. 

Not that he needed anyone to be harsh on him, Jeonghan did all of that on his own. But having someone else do that for him as well brought out a different desire for perfection. One that came from a dark place to show someone else that he was good, to prove people wrong.

"Can I still compete?" was all he asked, it was the only thing that mattered to him "Can I make it to the Olympics? It's the last one for me, after this I retire"

The look on the doctor's face wasn't reassuring, Jeonghan knew that his next words wouldn't be the ones he wanted. He wasn't about to hear what he needed.

"If, and only if, you have surgery, take physical therapy seriously, and rest as we instruct you, there might be a possibility. Small, but it exists" 

"When can I have the surgery?"

You stared at your computer screen, a hand on your forehead as you read the email your boss sent you. You sat at your desk, not really knowing what to do.

"Seungkwan!" you called without looking up "Did you get this email too?"

Just to make sure that you weren't crazy, you read it once again. The third time in less than five minutes. No matter how many times you read it, it didn't change.

"Yeah. I'm excited but scared…"

That was enough to get your attention.

"Why?" 

Closing your laptop, you stood up moving closer to Seungkwan. Unlike you, who read the email many times, Seungkwan had already started his research. Not that he really needed to, everyone at the office knew that he was a huge fan of figure skating. So of course he would know all about Yoon Jeonghan.

The nation's pride and joy in figure skating, at least in the make category.

"Why scared? I thought everyone loved him"

It was impossible to look away from the picture Seungkwan had open on his computer. Jeonghan's face really was something else, as if he had been carved in marble by some ancient Greek artist. From his dark hair covering his eyes, giving him almost a mysterious vibe, to the way his lips were slightly crooked into a smile. You had to give it to him, the man was absolutely stunning. No wonder he left a trail of fans everywhere he went.

"He isn't the biggest enthusiast when it comes to the press. He barely gives interviews so I guess doing a documentary about him won't be easy"

Seungkwan kept scrolling, reading the latest news on Jeonghan. But the truth was that there wasn't any. His social media was also rarely updated, the last post was from months before.

"Well, good luck to you"

"What do you mean? You're the one in charge"

You just shook your head. The problem was Jeonghan honestly, you barely knew anything about him, though Seungkwan's words didn't help the case. The thing was that you barely knew anything at all about sports, in general, much less about figure skating. Lack of knowledge was an easy fix. The real issue was the fact that a documentary on a sport was way too different from what you usually did.

"I'm not doing this one. I have other projects I want to work on. Plus, this is too sudden. They want us to start tomorrow, Seungkwan. Do you really think that it's possible to have anything done by tomorrow?" he shook his head and you nodded in agreement "Precisely, so I'm sure that if we talk with Jihoon…"

"Nothing will change" 

A curse left your lips at the sudden voice behind you. Turning around you faced the small man. Jihoon had his arms crossed over his chest and the look in his eyes that told you that no matter what he wouldn't let you off the hook. Still, you had to try.

"Jihoon, I'm not your sports person. And it's too soon. I don't anything about Jeonghan or figure skating"

Jihoon simply shook his head at you.

"They want a different approach than the average sports documentary, so I recommended you. I'm sending Seungkwan with you because I know this isn't your area of expertise, though I highly suggest you do some sort of research" he turned around to leave with a wave of his hand then turned around for a second, as if remembering something "Hansol will be your camera and sound guy. They asked for a small crew"

With a salute Jihoon left.

"Fuck"

You couldn't take your eyes away from the crutches under Jeonghan's arms and the orthopedic boot around his left leg. There was not a single article that pointed to surgery. There were plenty about his constant injuries though. Seungkwan had the same look on his face, of pure shock. 

"Are you okay?" you asked once he made himself comfortable on the couch.

Jeonghan sat sideways on the couch, his leg propped up over cushions. The position looked weird but he didn't seem to mind.

"Ah, this" he pointed at his leg nonchalantly, as if it was the most normal thing "Yeah, it's okay. Had to get the surgery done in order to make it to the next Olympic"

Nodding, you looked around. His apartment wasn't as big as you had expected. In fact, the three of you stood closely together in the living room, a bit too small for all the gear Hansol said he needed.

"Put your things down, let's talk. I don't know how this is going to work"

Me neither, you wanted to say but kept your mouth shut. Thankfully, Seungkwan was there to help you.

"Before we start any real interview or conversation, I think we have to tell you that this was very last minute for us. We only heard about this documentary yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon" he used his kindest voice, his voice laced with concern and a hit of fear, maybe "yn is in charge, she's the documentarist, she'll be asking the questions and dictating the overall direction that we're going to take with the documentary. I'm Seungkwan and that's Hansol. This is the smallest crew he could assemble"

Seungkwan was giving too many explanations, you felt. But he also wasn't wrong. What he did was normal, he was just introducing the crew. Maybe you were a little irritated by the way you were tossed into this job, without someone giving you enough time to prepare. Sixteen hours were barely enough.

"I assume my… reputation has gotten to you," Jeonghan said, a small smile on his lips.

A reputation he had indeed. Jeonghan was known for not liking the press and journalists. He avoided them at all costs and once, on one occasion, was seen being rude. And honestly, you had to give him a pass for it. Pushing the camera away from his face, almost delicately, could barely be considered rude at such a moment. There were way too many cameras around, all of them on his face, trying to get some sort of pronouncement on why he had not made it to the podium. 

And that had been years before but people still remembered him by that one moment. But what exactly did they expect? He underperformed, came in fourth place, and injured himself in the process. Was anyone expecting a happy and bright Jeonghan? 

"You can be comfortable around me. A conversation like this is fine. I just don't like being swarmed" 

Though his words were inviting, his face told a whole different story. He clearly didn't want this documentary.

"All of our interactions will be recorded," you told him, not leaving room for arguments on his end "These first few minutes aren't, out of courtesy and so that we can set our goals. I need to know if you're uncomfortable with anything, or something that you don't want to be filmed, either right now or before we turn the cameras on. Once we start, we won't stop"

Jeonghan adjusted his position on the couch, his eyes never leaving you. It was like he was measuring your every move. He didn't like your tone, and how aggressive you were towards him. 

"I know this was last minute and I apologize for that. This is going to be my last run and, as much as I hate to admit, I'm a bit sensitive to it.

With furrowed eyebrows, you nodded. Jeonghan knew that you didn't believe him or that you cared about his reasons. He knew that the sole reason you were there was because someone made you. 

"Will you need to film my family?" 

"Yes, usually film family members to get a complete idea of someone's life" 

Turning around you nodded at Hansol, telling him to start setting up. With a shake of his head, Seungkwan moved to help him.

"I don't want my family to know the extent of my injuries. So if you only want them for context, to know about me as a child, that's fine. But they can't know anything about this" Jeonghan pointed at his leg "I've been hiding this for a very long time and I'd like to keep it that way"

You dropped your bag on the couch, eyes tired and mind filled with one too many thoughts. The day had been easier than you expected, far more so. 

Based on Seungkwan's words you had expected to fight with Jeonghan in a way. It was a documentary so you needed him to talk and talk he did. There was no question unanswered or dodged, all of his answers were precise and consistent. All of it had sounded fake like he had rehearsed them a million times.

Even if you thought that your question had been good, and had caught him off guard, Jeonghan seemed to be fully prepared for it. He didn't hesitate for a second. 

In the few hours you spent around him, you finally managed to understand the fascination most people had with him. He was handsome, yes, but that was just the very basic and surface level of him. Beyonce that he was also good with his words. It was hard to tell that he was lying because he talked with conviction. After just one interview you were sure that if one day Jeonghan decided to tell you that your mom wasn’t actually your mother, you’d somehow believe him.

And the man knew all of it. He was aware of his beauty and charm, of what it did to normal people, and he used it in his favor. Jeonghan knew that most people couldn’t resist a handsome talented man. And that was a part he was all too willing to fill.

“Yeah,” you answered your phone, not bothering to see who it was, certain that it was just Jihoon.

“How was it today?” he sounded just as tired as you felt and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was okay.

“Fine”

“Just fine?”

You turned on your back, facing the ceiling, or at least whatever you could see with the lights turned off - not a whole lot, to be honest.

“He lied through his teeth today. There was no manager, and no coach around, though I do remember him saying someone would come. The person never showed up” you sighed “Seungkwan hates and Vernon probably thinks I’m a crazy bitch. So yeah, just fine”

Jihoon laughed on the other side of the line and you felt the little butterflies in your stomach come to life. You rolled your eyes at yourself. How pathetic it was of you, to have a crush on your boss. How very much bland of you.

Growing up, like a lot of girls that were influenced by way too much TV, you had wanted the be the odd one out. The I’m one of the guys kind of girl, or the one who refused to wear any kind of makeup or even come close to the pink because that was just girly for you. And now there you were, in love with the color pink, finding excuses to wear pretty dresses, and having a crush on your boss.

Teenage you would throw eggs at your head if she had the chance.

“Okay, but how was Jeonghan?” Jihoon pressed even further.

You sighed and closed your eyes, covering over face with your hand.

“He was polite, answered all of my questions, had a pleasant smile the entire time, and only asked for a bathroom break while we were there. Offered us food and drinks. He was fine” you said again, emphasizing the fine.

You could picture Jihoon, nodding his head and looking at the floor, probably thinking of what to ask next.

“Why would Seungkwan hate you? And why would Vernon think you’re a bitch?”

“Seungkwan thinks I went too hard on Jeonghan and Vernon just trusts Seungkwan’s judgment and goes with it”

Jihoon laughed again and you heard him moving around.

“Classic yn, going at someone while she’s angry. At least your anger was sort of directed to the right person”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you sat up.

You liked to think that you didn’t act that way all the time. In your mind, most of the time, you were able to hide your anger and just play nice like your mother had taught you to be. Jihoon’s words told a completely different story.

“Have some rest, there’s still a lot of work to do. Tomorrow you’re going with him to rehab, right?” Jihoon paused for a second and you heard a female voice in the back, you couldn’t make out what she said but you were sure of who it belonged to “I have to go. We’ll talk next week”

The line was disconnected and leaned back on the couch again. The problem of having a crush on your boss was also the fact that he had a long-time girlfriend and soon he was supposed to be marrying her.

You groaned, wondering if you had gone far enough that there was no going back from this crush.

You sat across from Jeonghan once again, the position exactly the same as the first day. But this time you chose to be less irritable.

The other day you were frustrated because you had to give up other projects to be able to accompany Jeonghan and that, thinking rationally, had nothing to do with him. He asked for a specific documentary filmmaker profile and you were chosen by the studio. Maybe it was more your fault than his. But it was also a no-return kind of situation. The job was assigned to you and there was nothing you could do to change it. So the least you could do was do your best and pray that it didn’t take a turn for the worse.

And, if anything, the conversation with Jihoon helped you focus on work. It wouldn't be the first time you were doing something you didn't want to do and it certainly wouldn't be the last. So you decided that the best thing to do was just work, showing your professional side that had been left aside before.

Jeonghan looked at you the same way, eyes serious as if he was ready for a new attack.

"Thank you," he said to Vernon, who had just placed the microphone inside his jacket, so that he could pick up the sound well, but it was not visible to the camera.

You turned to Seungkwan and Vernon, waiting for confirmation from the two that you could begin. You received a wave from each of them after they checked that the cameras were on and recording.

You took a deep breath and turned to Jeonghan.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," you said "I wasn't fair to you. I was irritated by things that had nothing to do with you, but I somehow decided that they did"

Everyone in Jeonghan's living room seemed to hold their breath, you included. You didn't know what to expect from Jeonghan, not really. You had been anything but ungracious with him, in a way that to most people meant that any door between you two had closed.

Jeonghan decided, at that moment, that he had two options: a) he could let the previous day dictate how all interactions between the two of you from then on would be, and it would be many months of a bad relationship that would bring no benefit to anyone involved in it; or b) he could accept your apology, which seemed sincere enough, and let go of the discomfort he felt.

Option b was actually the only possible choice.

“Okay” he finally smiled “my reputation isn’t the best, either way”

Seungkwan and Vernon breathed a sigh of relief. It was as if a huge gray cloud had moved away and the weather was beginning to clear.

“No, your reputation had no influence. I was the one who lost my hand because of my problems and for that, I apologize” you said and you were sincere in your words “But Jeonghan, I need you to stop seeing me as your enemy. I need you to be honest with me.”

You hoped Jeonghan could understand what you were saying.

“You think I wasn’t honest?” he tilted his head as if analyzing you.

“In the same way that you don't want your reputation to affect the way I see you, I need you to not let the way you see other journalists affect the way you see me. I want to tell your story, however you want it told, but I need you to be honest with me.”

You hoped Jeonghan could understand what you were saying.

He was silent for a minute, his eyes fixed on his hands. His hair covered his face, so it was hard to get an idea of what was going through his head.

You looked at Seungkwan, seeking confirmation that you hadn’t been rude. He seemed to be as lost as you were, but the small smile he gave you was enough to make your restless heart rest for a second.

“What if I say something and regret it later?”

It was the first time Jeonghan looked insecure and it was a strange sight, but much more realistic than the other version of him.

“We can edit it, it’s not a problem. I said that because I was angry” you said apologetically once again.

“Can we throw it all away and start again?”

Jeonghan smiled and you had no choice but to smile along with him.

“Let’s start with what’s happening now,” you said, folding your legs under your body, notebook open to a blank page and a pen ready to take notes “You underwent surgery not long ago, right? Why?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath, eyes closed for a second before placing all his attention on you. His gaze was almost too intense. You had to force yourself not to look anywhere but at him.

“A few years ago I fell during training and twisted my ankle. At the time, it wasn't a big deal and if I had stayed quiet for a few weeks, and did everything right, I wouldn't have had any problems. But I couldn't do it, I was preparing for a competition. I didn't tell anyone about the problem and just endured the pain. When I participated in the competition I fell again and that only made the situation worse. Today I have a problem with my ligament and tendon.”

With every word that left his mouth, you felt like a lump was forming in your throat, and with every second it was getting bigger.

Unlike the day before, it didn't seem like Jeonghan was lying, but you didn't know if you wanted the truth he was sharing. Even if it was a lie, a character he had created, the version of Jeonghan from before was a little brighter, a little more present in the moment. The version of him that was in front of you, that you imagined to be the closest to reality, was almost sad, detached from everything.

“Because I forced my right knee a lot, trying to compensate for the lack of my left one, I developed a problem with that one too”

“You’ve never talked about your injuries before, right?” he nodded “Why talk now?”

He was silent again, his lower lip caught between his teeth. That was a great question, one that not even Jeonghan himself knew exactly how to answer.

“I'm not sure, to be honest” he laughed a little. Instead of looking directly at the camera, his eyes were focused on you “Someone came up with the idea at some point and it didn't seem like a bad one, but I think it will only work if I make it to the Olympics.”

“Is that the ultimate goal then, to get to the Olympics?”

He shook his head, that fearless, confident look you had only seen in photos finally making itself known.

“No, the ultimate goal is to win”

As promised, Jeonghan waited for you, Seungkwan, and Vernon outside the clinic. He was nowhere to be seen, really, but the car his assistant informed you of was parked right in front of the door.

You were the first one to exit your own car, while Seungkwan and Vernon prepared the camera to follow along. You could only assume he was the manager. Terribly young for a manager, sure, but a manager nonetheless.

“I assume you’re in” he extended a hand to you “I’m Joshua”

“Hi”

The exchange of words with Joshua was quick, no more than half a dozen. You didn't have much to talk about with him and he wasn't your priority, at least not at the moment. Later, at some other time, talking to him would be great. He had introduced himself as a friend/manager of Jeonghan. Having his point of view would be great and could contribute a lot, but your eyes couldn't leave Jeonghan.

His hair was tied back, but a cap covered much of his face. He had barely said hi to you or the other two. It wasn't a big surprise. While it was true that made up to a certain extent, you didn't expect him to simply welcome you with open arms, but his reaction was strange - or as strange as the reaction of a person you knew little, or nothing, could be.

“Can we film it?” You asked.

Jeonghan stopped and turned towards you. He had forgotten that you and your team would attend his first physical therapy session, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Since the last time you saw each other, Jeonghan spent hours on end watching documentaries made by you and they all had one thing in common: they were almost like video logs. You followed everyone around documenting every tiny aspect of their lives. All those people told their stories and didn't seem afraid of having their lives exposed. And perhaps for people who didn't lead lives where they had been exposed too much, sincerity came easily.

For Jeonghan, that was never the case.

Being treated as the future, a promise of the sport, had brought a lot of harm and situations that neither he, nor anyone else, had the option to deal with or even, perhaps, ignore.

Cameras were pointed at him, rumors spread and suddenly he wasn't just Yoon Jeonghan, the boy who started skating because it would annoy his little sister. He became someone from whom people expected something.

As much as he could, Jeonghan tried to live up to all of those expectations, realistic or not. He tried to be as perfect as possible, on the ice and off of it. And it only took one day of silence, a few rude unanswered questions, and one bad performance — which had no real effect — for everything to collapse.

“You said you would film anything and everything.”

You grimaced, clearly regretful and maybe even a little embarrassed. It wasn't his intention, but he found your reaction funny anyway.

In your place, Jeonghan would have done much worse.

“Do you think it’s important?”

You nodded, perhaps more forcefully than necessary. Jeonghan laughed, he wanted to hold your head to make sure it was still in the right place.

“The documentary is about your return, so filming you here is important. I asked because it's your first session. I heard it can be painful.”

“It will probably be uncomfortable” he couldn’t deny that “Let’s do it like this, you can record it, if in the end you think it’s bad or that it doesn’t fit, we won’t use it

You quietly followed Jeonghan and Joshua out of the clinic, Seungkwan and Vernon trailing behind you talking in hushed tones. It was no surprise that they were talking. Truth was rehab had been brutal. You knew that it could get hard for Jeonghan, that it could be painful but nothing really prepared you for what you saw. And if it was hard for you to watch him go through that, it was unimaginable to understand how it was for him.

Throughout the entire session, Jeonghan looked in pain, his grunts and the scowl on his face growing with each passing second and new movement. Midway through you told Seungkwan and Vernon to stop filming. You had seen enough and you had more than what you needed for the documentary. 

You would only film his rehab again when he was no longer in such pain, you decided. Out of the many things you learned about Jeonghan was that showing his weaknesses wasn’t something he was too fond of or even comfortable with the idea of it. So there was no real reason to keep recording and you couldn’t stand it either. 

While you watched his face contort in pain, you felt something inside your chest tighten. 

It had never been a real issue before with you. You had always managed to separate your personal emotions from the things you felt while working. More often than not you told stories that were hard to listen to, took someone’s suffering, and put it on the TV for the entire world to see in hopes that maybe a part of their lives would be changed. You had always been able to detach yourself from that. 

However while inside with Jeonghan, such a thing was not possible. You felt your throat constrict and your eyes grow wet and for a short while, you couldn’t breathe either. It made no sense really. Why did it hurt to see this man, you knew nothing about, in pain to the point you wanted to cry? Why did it sadden you so much that he was limping harder than before?

You wanted to approach him, ask if he was okay, if it had been too much. But it was out of line, it was one that you knew you shouldn’t cross. There was this itch though, in the back of your mind, begging you to just ask, to just take a step closer to him. 

It happened so suddenly that you didn’t even see it happening. One second it was just the five of you in the parking lot, in the next there were reporters with mics and cameras pointed at Jeonghan. You noticed how Jeonghan raised his shoulders at the same time he lowered his head. He couldn’t see in front of himself, you were certain. 

Joshua put an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulder while he used the other one to keep them away from him. Not that it was of any use. One of the cameras was directly under his face as if trying to get an expression, anything at all, that could show his discomfort with the situation. From somewhere behind you there were flashes. 

"Do you believe your injury was a result of your own carelessness?"  someone asked. 

You felt your blood run cold for a second and you froze in place, Seungkwan and Vernon behind you. 

"Do you think your skating career is over after such devastating injuries?" someone followed. 

"Did you regret pushing yourself so hard during training, knowing it led to your injury?" 

"How did it feel to watch other skaters progress while you were stuck in rehab?" 

"Are you worried that your injury will define your career more than your achievements on the ice?" 

The questions got progressively worse and you wanted to scream at them to just shut up, and stop. How could they just ambush someone like that with those questions? It made no sense at all. And though you knew that it would cause more harm than good you wished Jeonghan would tell them all to fuck off.

Instead, he kept his head low and just slowly walked to his car while ignoring everyone around him, all the careless words being thrown at him. 

You tried to take a step forward but were held back by Seungkwan, who gripped the strap of your purse. He didn’t say a word, just shook his head. 

“They can’t just do that to him” you almost cried

“If you say anything, it might only make matters worse,” Hansol said, his voice sad. 

That sudden need to protect Jeonghan felt weird but oddly natural as well. Weird because you knew that you shouldn’t, because you hardly knew the guy. Natural because it felt as if you had always done that like it was just second nature to you. 

“He is used to this,” Seungkwan said, still not letting go of your purse. 

“He shouldn’t be! They are barely treating him like a human!”

By the time you turned around, Jeonghan was already inside the car leaving the parking lot. 

The clock on the top of your phone screen told you that it was 4:37 am. You hadn't even realized that you had spent so many hours still awake. 

As soon as you got home from the rehab with Jeonghan, you took a quick shower, ate the leftovers from the night before, and started to look up Jeonghan’s performances.

The man was a celebrity amongst athletes since he was a child. He was always seen as a promise of the sport. He was good from the start. Performing moves that he was still too young to do, entering competitions boys his age never really competed in and somehow managing to either come up to the podium or even winning some of them.

Everything was displayed online. Yearly competitions, practices, and small moments of his life.

Jeonghan's entire life, at least the sports part, was exposed on the internet for anyone, from anywhere in the world, to see. And it wasn't just the competitions, having videos of that part seemed completely normal and expected.

What was scary was all the other content. Some photos of him in school uniform, not one where he was actually looking at the camera, but ones that were clearly taken in secret. Another one from when he seemed to have simply gone out for coffee with Joshua.

You knew he had fans, that he was liked wherever he went, and that he was always followed, but that seemed a bit much.

In reality, watching videos of the competitions was like a gateway to everything that came after.

You knew very little about Jeonghan, only what you had read about in all the articles that you found and all of them had one thing in common: Jeonghan was a huge diva, who thought he was superior to everyone. But after seeing how he had been treated that day, as soon as he got out of rehab, you knew it wasn't like that. It was as if they had appeared out of nowhere, one second the parking lot was empty and the next it was full of journalists, shouting things and asking questions that to many would seem harmless, but were clearly intended to hurt.

Instead of watching more competition videos, not that there were many you hadn't watched yet, you decided to look for the famous video of him treating journalists badly.

You had never found one so easily on the internet. You just typed "Jeonghan and journalists" into the search bar and it was the first video to appear.

It was a scene very similar to the previous day. Jeonghan was in the parking lot, walking towards the guy when he was surrounded by several journalists.

"You didn't get the podium today, are you disappointed?" one of them asked and that was the most harmless question he got. “Did you really try hard or did you think you would get a high score because you were the favorite?” “Why did you fall in such a simple jump?” “Don't you think it was an amateur's performance?”

You didn't want to keep listening to all those meaningless questions, but you couldn't take your eyes off Jeonghan. He still had short hair at the time, even covering his eyebrows. His jaw was clenched, his eyes were hard, and his gaze was focused straight ahead, as he walked slowly to his car. Joshua tried as best he could to control the journalists with their microphones and cameras, but he was just one man against many. Finally, after what felt like ages, two security guards appeared, pushing the journalists away as they began shouting profanities in Jeonghan's direction.

Could those people even consider themselves journalists? Real journalists, who took their work seriously?

There is a very fine line between being a journalist who asks incisive questions and one who is completely disrespectful to the athlete. And those people were anything but professional.

It was no surprise that after that Jeonghan refused to give interviews.

That whole situation happened years before, at the beginning of the previous Olympic cycle, but even so, it was still a moment that haunted him. People remembered him as just that guy, someone who refused to answer simple questions. But what exactly did these people expect? That he was all smiles when he failed to reach the podium, even though he was the favorite in the competition? That he smiles when he hurts?

Finally, you managed to understand why he acted that way, and why his answers were so polite and direct. Jeonghan didn't want to leave room for interpretation. Not that he had much of a choice. People only see what they want to see, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

Jeonghan couldn’t take his eyes away from your back, he followed your every move. You stood next to Joshua, talking to him quietly, his friend showing you something on his phone. He felt something scratch at his neck. This new and unknown feeling. 

It was unusual for Jeonghan, to want to have someone’s undivided attention. It was usually the other way around and he was never willing to do it, with anyone. And then there you were and suddenly he didn’t like that you were talking with Joshua. 

It wasn’t like you seemed to be having fun either. You moved around with intention, your eyes always focused, your words and questions firm and straight to the point. Jeonghan couldn’t help but wonder if it was always like that with you. If your professional persona always took over who you were in other moments. 

His curiosity was huge but his courage to ask was very little. 

“She may seem like it, but she won’t bite your head off if you talk with her,” someone said on his left.

Seungkwan stood at his side, his hands clasped in front of him while he rocked on his heels. 

“I think she will,” Jeonghan said. 

Seungkwan took his reply as an invitation to sit. 

“You know, in the office, people call her the ice queen” he too looked in your direction, at your serious expression "She’s like that most of the time”

Jeonghan looked at Seungkwan expectantly, he knew there was a but coming soon. All he needed to do was wait long enough. 

“She didn’t want to take this job, our boss forced her to. She’s more into storytelling, real people, with real issues”

“Am I not a real person?”

The offense in Jeonghan’s voice made Seungkwan almost fall off his chair. He didn’t intend for his words to sound like that.

“Of course you are” he laughed nervously while trying to explain it as best as he could “If it were up to her, she would focus this documentary on you, on how you started skating, why, what attracted you to it, how it affected the rest of your life. But your team doesn’t want that, I think. We were told that you already gave many interviews on the matter so there’s no point in talking about it again. They want us to focus on your recovery and then you make it to the Olympics. She’s trying to figure out how to do that in a way that makes someone watch it”

Jeonghan nodded, feeling guilty. It had been his request to not the documentary so focused on the past and more on what was happening in the moment

“She also doesn’t like sports and hated the idea of the job, but that's beside the point”

Both of them laughed, eyes still on your back now that you talked with Vernon, giving him new instructions.

“I’ll make sure that she gets to do the kind of documentary she thinks is best”

Seungkwan stood up, a big smile on his lips.

“Who could have known that the ice queen and the ice prince aren’t actually that cold”

After months of just rehab, it’s finally time for Jeonghan to get back on the ice and it pained you a little to admit that you were looking forward to it. The videos you watched could only take you so far, you wanted to actually see the real thing. Him, in action.

Of course, you know that he wasn’t going to be able to do a third of the things he did on those videos. But you wanted to see him in his element, how he would behave when he was finally around the thing he loved the most in the world — his words, not yours. 

The one thing you were able to learn from Jeonghan was the fact that he indeed loved what he did. Like most people, sometimes he hated it. It was the thing he was most passionate about, yes, but it was also his job, so there were days when he just hated and the mere idea of leaving the house was too much. 

It was too hard to be a professional athlete, it demanded way too much of him. Of anyone, really. Sometimes he wanted to be like everyone else and just not put everything he was into it. But if he did that, he lost one single day, he was scared that he could lose an entire year and maybe that year turned into two and then he could lose his chance to go to the Olympics. 

And he only had one change left. 

So, instead of focusing on much he didn’t want to do, Jeonghan decided to focus on the fact that there was only a year ahead of him and he would be able to do whatever he wanted and have as many down days as he wanted. 

He didn’t know what he wanted to do and what would be the after for him but it gave him something to look forward to. 

“Are you nervous?” you asked him.

Jeonghan was someone who was mostly quiet. You noticed that once he started to feel more comfortable he was one to start the conversation and even crack a few jokes here and there. Seungkwan had been the first person he kind of opened up to, which had left you a hint of jealousy. You wanted to be one he talked with mostly because it was your job but also just because. 

However, he had been especially quiet that day. The three of you went to meet him at his apartment. The idea was that you’d follow him the entire day, from the moment he woke up, to when he went to the doctor to get the final clear and then finally to the ring. 

He had talked very little, his eyes always focused somewhere else. It was clear that his mind was traveling somewhere far, far away. So you left him be, quietly watching him just move around. A silent shooting day, you told yourself  In the end, however, you had a job and he needed to do the talking.

“It’s been too long,” he said, his eyes never really leaving the ice “I don’t know if I can still do it”

You laughed, causing him to finally look at you, eyes wide on his face. He tried to look serious but the corners of his lips were turned slightly up.

“You just don’t feel confident, but you didn’t forget it” you looked at his ankle, it was still weird to see him without any sort of protection around it “How’s your ankle?”

He just shook his head and in that moment you chose to believe that he was said It doesn’t bother me anymore. 

Through the interviews, you found out that Jeonghan is the kind of person to suffer in silence. It was clear from all of his previous injuries, how he competed while in pain and only ever said anything when it was almost too late.

“Do you think I can still do it?”

There was something in his voice like he was almost on the verge of breaking. He sounded vulnerable in a way that was entirely too new, in a way you wanted to push Vernon and his camera away because that was a part of him you knew he didn’t want the world to see. 

Instead, you reached for his arm, patting it a couple of times, hoping that your touch, as ungraceful and awkward as it was, was able to soothe him, even if it was just for a moment. 

“I was watching some of your competitions last night, again, you know? And that guy? He’s still in there, I’m sure of it, I’ve seen him”

You weren’t just saying that to cheer him up, your words were true. You had seen that version of him, little glimpses here and there. He was in the way his eyes suddenly changed and it was like he owned the entire room, in the way he suddenly turned confident, in the way he was charming in a way that was almost sickening but all too enchanting either way. 

Whether or not he believed it himself, Yoon Jeonghan was a force to be reckoned with.

"What kind of kid were you?" you asked, looking up at Jeonghan. 

He sat opposite to you, bent down to tie the laces on his skates. His hair covered his face, you were sure that he couldn't see much, but he didn't seem bothered by it in the least. Maybe he had just gotten used to it. 

Four months had gone by since you started to follow Jeonghan and even before that, he had kept his hair long. And you hated to admit that he looked good, too good even.

"What kind do you think I was?" He smirked at you for a second before going back to his skates.

Rolling your eyes, you couldn't help but smile. 

"This is not how it works. I ask the questions here"

Jeonghan leaned back on his seat, giving you his full attention. His smirk did something to your insides. It felt tight and loose at the same time, like wild butterflies running around on your skin. 

"Come on, humor me"

You pretended to be in deep thought, Jeonghan as a child had been something you thought about for a long time now. Even though he was very serious most of the time there were these small moments where he looked like a kid ready to do something he wasn't supposed to.

"I can only think of you as a troublemaker” you smiled, closing your notes knowing well that you’d make no progress at all with the filming “I’ve seen pictures of you and a child and although you looked very cute, I’m sure you were a handful to your mother”

Jeonghan laughed, throwing his head back and in that moment he looked so carefree.

Even since the start of the documentary Jeonghan had used his most serious expressions, a frown always taking over his beautiful features. But he had been back on the ice for a few days already and in those days he had looked the happiest you had seen him yet.

Of course, he still hasn’t practiced the way he wanted or the way he used to. He still needed to take things slowly: fewer hours, less power in the movements. But it was undeniable that he was a completely different person.

It wasn’t that he had been in a bad mood every single day but there was just something about him in his element, of him doing something he was obviously passionate about, that was so enchanting that it became impossible to look away from him.

“Where did you see those pictures?”

“You do know that I had to google you because I had no idea who you were, right?”

One thing you managed to learn about Jeonghan is the fact that, if in the right mood, he is a trickster and most of all, a flit. You weren’t even sure that he was aware of what he was doing, it seemed like second nature to him.

He put a hand over his chest, faking being in pain. His face contorted and a pout on his lips.

“I thought we were getting to know each other”.

Seungkwan coughed by your side, finally making you remember that there were people around you and that the entire interaction between you and Jeonghan was being recorded.

There was something about Jeonghan that always seemed to make you forget where you were, that maybe there were people around you. You could only suppose that it was the charm of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, who knew how to sweet talk someone.

And Jeonghan knew what he was doing, what kind of words or looks could get a reaction from a woman.

Most of the time while around Jeonghan you had to remind your heart to be calm and quiet. Being around him was a temporary arrangement, as soon as the Olympics started said arrangement would be done and you’d have to go back to your normal life. One that didn’t include Yoon Jeonghan. And you also knew that there wasn’t space for you in his life.

“We’re going to set up the cameras around the ice,” Seungkwan said awkwardly while dragging Verno by the hand.

You watched as the two walked away from you, whispering in secrecy. You could only imagine the kind of things that they were saying. If you knew Seungkwan at all, you were certain that it couldn’t be any good.

“Jeonghan, I ask questions and you answer them. And while one could say that I’m getting to know you, I don’t think it would be possible to say the same thing about me”

Jeongahn's smile was defiant when he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You have a no-bullshit policy, which I should have known, from the start, but I wasn’t expecting someone like you. Although you try really hard to pretend that you’re not, your eyes are kind and you quietly take care of those around you, me included sometimes. You got worried when I was in pain in rehab and when Vernon got hurt it seemed as if you were angry, but you were concerned about him and after that, you asked to have another staff with you so that he wouldn’t need to carry so many things on his own. You and Seungkwan bicker a lot but when he isn’t around for a day you are quieter and your questions have been more direct. That doesn’t make you a lousy documentarist, please don’t think that I’m saying that, you take your job very seriously. I’m saying that you put people above your job. I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to become a documentarist, to begin with, to tell stories”

You stared at him, mouth open wondering just how he had come up with all of that and why he had managed to hit everything right on the stop. Especially the reason why you became a documentarist. It seemed very obvious, yes, but it wasn’t something that you had said.

In fact, your personal life was something that very few people knew. You weren’t one to share your thoughts and what was on your mind with people. Seungkwan was a good friend, but he was a work friend so your personal life was just that, personal. Not that you had someone to share it with, either way.

The apartment was empty when you left and it was in the exact same way and you got back. You were on your own, with no parents, no siblings and most of your friends had given up on you somewhere along the way.

For the longest time, you put your job first. It came before anything and anyone. You were building your career and name at the time so it was hard not to put it first. It was your dream, one that your friends supported at first but were displeased when you decided to put it first.

You had thought that if you made it big on your job if you got hired by a big production company, you’d be able to find the happiness that you had searched for a long time. And while some of it was true, your career was on the right path and you did something you loved, you didn’t have a lot more beyond that going one.

It was become just you and your job.

Was it sad? Yes, but it was also the life you chose.

“Just because I don’t know details of your life, doesn’t mean that I don’t watch you, yn”

You watched as Jeonghan fell for what felt like the hundredth time that day. It didn't make sense, not really. At least not for you. And from the looks of it, for him too.

He was frustrated and completely angry. All those people looking at him, expectations high, waiting for something. He wasn't sure what. For him to fail? To see if he still could do it?

Everything was possible and impossible at the same time.

He couldn't stop his eyes from going after you every time you fell. Somehow, your reaction was the only one that mattered to him. The first few times your face was completely emotionless, as if you were staring at a blank wall. Then Jeonghan fell once again, and again, and again. He stopped counting at 10, but he knew it was much more than that actually. But your gaze, which was fixed on him, became more worried as the minutes passed and he hated being the cause of it.

Somehow, since he met you, only two things were on Jeonghan's mind: skating and you.

He didn't know how, he didn't know why, but you had taken over his every thought. It was as if you had walked through an imaginary door and entered his mind and decided that it was a great place to be.

Even on days when you didn't see each other because there was no recording, he was tempted to talk to you. And on one of those days, he just succumbed to the temptation of picking up the phone and calling you.

“Jeonghan, is everything okay?” was the first thing you said.

He hated that worry was the first emotion he awakened in you. He hated that the first thing you said wasn't "hello" like a normal person. But at the same time, the concern made him feel somehow welcomed. It could, of course, be all in his head, and what he saw as concern for himself was actually concern for the documentary.

"I just wanted to talk," he admitted.

Maybe it was because he had gotten used to talking to you, maybe it was because you offered zero judgment for the way he thought or reacted. Or maybe it was because it was you. Whatever it was, Jeonghan felt comfortable talking to you.

Telling the truth, about everything, was not difficult, in fact, it became something very easy. It was because of you, he knew.

"I realized I don't know anything about you"

You laughed and he listened as you moved through what he imagined to be his apartment.

"That's because I interview you and not the other way around"

He sat on the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him as he supported the rest of his weight on his arms stretched behind him.

"Do you think it's so bad that I know anything about you?"

You remained silent for a few seconds, seeming to think about the idea. It wasn't bad, not at all.

At several moments you found yourself with your cell phone in your hand, ready to send a message or call him. You weren’t sure what, but there was something about Jeonghan that just made you want to tell him everything.

"What do you want to know?" you said with a sigh.

"Whatever you want to share"

The great truth is that very little happened in your life. You lived alone, worked every day, and came home alone. Your last boyfriend, or even a fling, was over a year before. Your friends, if you could call them that, were all from work. Your life was quite still and dull. Even if you wanted to talk about work. Jeonghan was your job. There wasn't much to talk about.

"I don't think I have much to tell" you knew that what you were about to say wasn't the happiest topic in the world, but it was what you had to offer "My mother passed away when I was nineteen, since then I've been alone"

You could still clearly remember the day your father left. There wasn't a fight. He never packed his bag and left. One day he was there when you woke up, he gave you breakfast and took you to school, like he did on most days. But it was his job to pick you up and he never showed up. Your mother showed up instead, her eyes swollen as she did her smile to smile at you and explain to the teacher why she was so late. When you finally got home she said "Now it's just you and me. Daddy had to leave"

For months, years even, you waited for him to come back. You thought one day he would just appear in front of you. You were disappointed when it was your mother who showed up to pick you up when he didn't come to his birthdays when you called the number he had left with his mother and he never answered.

You waited until you turned 18 to go after him. You only had a name, but with that alone, a person can find everything on the internet. You found him in another state, working at a real estate agency. You sat down in front of him and talked for about half an hour. You made up a story about going to college and needing a place to live. You said your name and your mother's name several times, surname and everything, and at no point did he seem to connect one thing to the other. Until the last second, when you said you would think about renting the studio he had suggested, and he walked you to the door. He said, "I left for a reason, don't come back here."

You couldn't believe what you had heard. You couldn't understand why he left and why he never came back. But at that moment you decided that if he didn't want you, you didn't need him. Your mother had worked so hard to make sure you had everything you needed.

Exactly one year later, your mother died in a bizarre car accident. It was like being 7 years old again and losing another person, only in a much more painful way.

"You don’t have any siblings?" Jeonghan's voice on the other end brought you back "Relatives?"

You shook her head, even though you knew he couldn't see you.

"I was an only child, so no siblings. My mom was an orphan so relatives either. My father left when I was a child"

You and Jeonghan spent the whole night on the phone, talking about everything and nothing. From trivial things to more personal matters. His delight upon learning that you didn’t have a boyfriend didn’t go unnoticed. 

Calls and messages became commonplace between the two of you. Your heart raced every time a new message arrived and it was hard to hide your disappointment when you realized it wasn't from him. On days when you didn't see each other, you would stare at your phone, waiting for it to ring, waiting for him to call.

So you hoped he understood when you shook your head in his direction, a request written on your face. That's enough for today, you can try more tomorrow, you hoped he would understand.

Instead of trying one more time after he fell once again, he skated to the edge of the ice. His face was red from the effort, and his chest rose and fell in an uneven rhythm trying to force air back into his lungs.

"I want everyone out," he said, his voice broken.

Seungkwan and Vernon didn't even question it, they simply started putting away the equipment. Jihoon, who had shown up unexpectedly to "supervise" didn't seem to understand what was going on, but turned to help Vernon.

Jeonghan's coach was the only one who approached him, his hand on the athlete's shoulder.

"Go home, rest. Tomorrow we try again"

Jeonghan shook his head. He would only get out of there after managing to make the damn jump, even if he had to stay the whole night.

"Just half an hour more, but I want to be alone"

The coach clearly didn't like the idea, but he knew it was stupid to try and make Jeonghan change his mind.

You turned to him, looking at his face, trying to figure out if he was in pain or if he was just being a big blockhead. Without giving yourself the luxury of thinking about what you were doing, you placed your hand over Jeonghan's and squeezed for a second. You hoped he understood what you meant.

"You have to rest"

You knew everyone was watching, that despite saying they were leaving they weren't actually moving. Jeonghan didn't seem to care and for a moment you decided not to care either.

“Stay,” he said softly, so only you could hear him “please.”

Some strands of hair were stuck to Jeonghan's face, you wanted to get them out of his face, but caution spoke louder. You looked over your shoulder and everyone was still looking at the two of you, but as soon as they noticed your gaze they started moving again. Seungkwan shouted “We’re leaving” and seconds later the door slammed.

Finally, you were alone.

“You have to rest,” you said again.

You took advantage of the fact that no one else was there and removed the strands of hair stuck to his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Jeonghan sighed, his eyes closing as he leaned towards you. Just that little touch wasn't enough.

“I need to get it right”

"If you stop now and rest you will know what you are doing wrong"

A half smile shined on Jeonghan's face as he leaned further into the barrier, his face just inches away from his.

"My ego loves it when you say I'm doing something wrong”

You pushed him back, needing a little bit more space to yourself. He was too close, you could feel his breath on your nose and cheeks. It was suddenly as if the world was made of Yoon Jeonghan, it was just him and no one else. 

“I’m sure your ego will be just fine”

Instead of pulling your hand back, you allowed it to stay in his chest. Jeonghan smiled for a second before pressing his hand over yours. 

“Just another 30 minutes” he repeated what he said to his coach “I promise I’ll stop in precisely 30 minutes”

You nodded with a sigh. There was nothing you could do to stop him. Something told you that even if you threatened him to leave he would stay and practice, he would stay on the ice for far more than just 30 minutes if you weren’t around. 

So you sat down and waited for him. And he fell time and time again, his face growing displeased with himself at each passing second, each time he jumped but didn't manage to land. 

Jeonghan had done that same jump countless times before with ease as if one's body would simply perform such movements. To him, it always seemed as easy as walking. You had seen it in all of his videos, almost in trance by him. 

“If you’re not done in twenty-one minutes” you pretended to look at your imaginary watch “I’m taking you out of there by force”

Jeonghan threw his head back, laughing. 

“Remember when you said that you never skated before?” Jeonghan asked after finally being able to breathe properly again.

You weren’t too sure how, but he had stopped after 30 minutes. A big smile on his face after he managed to land the jump after so many tries. After getting it right once, he didn’t get it wrong again. It was like something clicked inside his brain as if he had found the last missing piece of the puzzle.

Of all the things you said to Jeonghan, from the most personal to the most trivial, that was, by far, the only one you regretted. You had told him over the phone but he looked horrified, it was easy to imagine the wide eyes on his face.

But him standing there, in front of you, with a smile that could only be seen on the face of a mischievous child, said much more than any words he could utter.

“No,” you said, shaking your head, already moving back.

You had learned several peculiarities about Jeonghan in all the months you spent by his side, and one of the most glaring was the look in his eyes when he was about to do something he shouldn't.

“You have to try, at least once” his lips were a mixture of a smile and a pout “You will have the best teacher in the world”

You saw it and shook your head again.

“I can’t trust a teacher who spent the day falling” you pointed to the rink behind him.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. You didn't know if your words would offend him, you hoped he knew it wasn't your intention. But you also knew that hell was paved with good intentions. Jeonghan was silent for a minute, his face serious, his eyes not leaving yours for an entire minute.

Then he smiled, his nose wrinkling a little as he laughed, loudly. It didn't take long for you to join him.

“You’re evil,” he said, trying to control himself, but failing “This way you’re going to break my heart”

“I think there are few things in this world that can break your heart.”

You would definitely be one of them, Jeonghan wanted to say, but he held his tongue in his mouth. He knew he couldn't say that, he knew that any word said wrongly could simply ruin everything he had built so far. If he could even say he built something. He liked to think so.

From the first time you spoke, Jeonghan knew there was no going back, at least for him. He had never done anything like that. He had never called someone in the middle of the night simply because he wanted to hear someone's voice. And in this case, it wasn't just someone's voice, it was your voice that he wanted to hear.

With each passing sentence, Jeonghan found himself falling more in love with you and he wasn't able to say why. Maybe he could blame it on your eyes, always so focused, but somehow when they turned to him, they seemed so sweet and sincere. Or your voice, which gave orders and asked incisive questions, but as soon as the cameras were turned off it became gentle and almost shy. Maybe it was the fact that you seemed like a lioness when you were working, never giving space for unfounded questions, but you were shy when it was just the two of you alone.

He liked this version of you, who was right in front of him, who seemed completely comfortable with him, to the point of making jokes — something that until that moment you hadn't done yet.

“We always have extra pairs in the back, I'm sure one of them is your size” he had made sure you would, with Seungkwan's help of course “And then we try it, what do you think?”

Even though you were shaking your head, you went to the closet where you knew the skates were stored.

With your knees bent and shaking, you stepped onto the ice and immediately regretted giving in to Jeonghan's will. You didn't know how he had managed it, but in the closet, there was a brand new pair of skates, your size. Jeonghan had smiled as he bent down to tie your shoelaces,

“I’m going to fall flat on my face,” you said as you grabbed the bars.

Jeonghan held your face in his hands, your eyes fixed on his.

“I won’t let you fall”

The way the words left his lips made your heart skip a beat, or maybe several of them. You could feel it on the back of your throat and you could swear that your hands shook a little as you accepted the hand Jeonghan had extended to you. 

You wished it could just stop. Not for your heart to stop beating altogether but for it to stop reacting to Jeonghan. Everything changed after that first call and you weren’t too sure of where it was. He had, someway, somehow, become a pivotal point of you. His voice, his eyes. The way tingles started to run down through your body the moment his skin came in touch with yours. How, despite all odds, he made you feel safe in a way you weren’t too sure you had ever experienced before.

When he said that he wasn’t going to you fall, you believed him so you held his hands — strong enough that you were sure were hurting him but he didn't seem to mind — and allowed Jeonghan to pull you into the rink. 

“Don't move your feet” he said, voice ever so sweet but with a slight hint of teasing “I know it's probably hard, but let me take control here”

Forcing out all of the remaining air inside your lungs, you did as he asked. Instead of keeping your focus on the ice under your feet, you kept them in Jeonghan's face. A mistake, of course. 

His eyes were too intense if you could say that. You didn't want to understand what was happening. Perhaps for the first time since you met Jeonghan, you didn't want to understand what it could mean. You were scared. What, exactly, you weren’t sure.

“I didn’t even have to ask you to look at me,” he said and you laughed a little, automatically looking away “Keep looking at me”

The whole experience of skating for the first time, or being guided, was not being registered by your brain. All you could see, think, feel, was Jeonghan, as if he had become a central point of everything.

“I think we should stop here”

You hoped your voice was loud enough and judging by the look on Jeonghan's face, it was. The smile fell from his lips and it was as if a small light in his eyes had gone out.

You hated that you were the one causing that reaction in him, but you knew it was best to stop everything before it went too far.

"I thought that…"

“We can’t blur the lines that much” you shook your head.

You didn't know exactly who you were trying to convince, him or you. You also weren't sure you had to convince yourself of anything. It was as if your brain had split in two. One part, probably the loudest, wanted you to just let things happen. You knew you weren't doing anything wrong, you weren't doing anything much really. What you did outside of your working hours and who you did it with was your problem and no one else's.

But the other part, one that spoke softly and that should have had much less strength, said it was dangerous, but also didn't offer much reason to be dangerous.

Yet somehow, that was the side you chose to listen to.

"Why?" He asked forcing his feet to the ground, making the two of you stand in the center of the rink. “What line are we blurring?”

You shook your head, hands clinging to his waist as you felt your feet begin to slide.

“I don’t know” you whispered in response “We are working”

Jeonghan leaned forward and pressed his lips to your cheek. With a sigh, he let his forehead fall onto your shoulder and closed his eyes.

You didn't know exactly where your skepticism came from, but you were also sure it wasn't completely unfounded. But truth be told, you wanted to blur that line and any others that might appear along the way.

“Go on a date with me,” he said “If you still feel that way, there’s nothing we can do. Just don’t… don’t stop something that hasn’t even started yet”

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[purplecoffee13]

‘Paranoid’* - Thin Lines Pt 5

“All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy…” - Paranoid by Black Sabbath

Summary: “You go on a date with someone new, but Harry doesn’t approve.”

Wc: 4K (more or less)

Tropes: rockstar!harry x opera singer!mc

Warnings: smut, exhibitionism, possessiveness, jealousy, harry being a dick, angst, fighting

A/N: hey, here is the new update for thin lines! Although you may think it from the way this part ends, it is NOT the end! We still have one part to go…🤭

General Masterlist

Series Masterlist

You observed yourself in the mirror, taking a deep breath to try and stabilize the nerves you had been feeling all day. You were wearing a short black dress, paired with some Mary Jane's that you had walked on just enough for them not to kill your feet after five minutes anymore.

Jake had taken you to a beautiful fancy restaurant, and he had looked dashing in his suit. You were so incredibly nervous that before you even had the chance to order drinks you had excused yourself and fled to the bathroom.

This was your first official, proper date ever, and you had no idea how to act. Locking eyes with yourself one last time, you took a deep breath and mentally told yourself to get your fucking shit together before heading out there again.

By the time you came back, Jake had already ordered drinks for the two of you. An ice bucket containing a bottle of white wine stood next to the table, and you whispered a 'thank you' as he poured you some while you sat down across from him.

"Thanks." You said softly.

"No problem. The menu's are on their way." He responded, putting the wine bottle back in the bucket and taking a deep breath as he turned his full attention to you.

"So,"

"So..." You repeated your date, a soft chuckle falling from both of your lips. You were glad to not be the only one for whom this was quite intimidating.

"Start with the basic questions?" Jake proposed, an awkward golden retriever like smile on his face. You nodded in agreement, and waited as Jake thought of a question.

"Got any siblings?"

"Two step-brothers." You replied. Jake's brow quirks up. "But I hardly ever see them."

"Oh, does that not bother you?" He asked, genuine concern coating his words. You shrug.

"God no, if anything I'm thankful for it." You joked, but Jake didn't seem to find it funny.

"You wouldn't like a big family, then?"

Wow, wow, wow.

You stared at him, wide-eyed and unsure of what to say. How had this conversation steered towards planning a family so soon?

"I— I don't know. I've never had a very big family, it was always just me and my parents. When they divorced, and my mom re-married, it was a lot. I mean, going from being an only child to two step-brothers... it's a lot of noise. But I only lived with them for two years before moving to LA, so I don't know..." You tried to explain yourself, a bit weirded out about how invested Jake seemed to be in this. Harry would've found your joke funny; he doesn't take everything so seriously.

Wait, you shouldn't be thinking about Harry! You were on a date with Jake to forget about Harry, for God's sake. You needed to focus on your date.

And so you did, all throughout dinner you fixate your eyes on the man in front of you and tried to list all the reason why you could go on a second date with him. But unintentionally, you also compared him to Harry in every possible aspect.

Jake was sweet, but there was a lack of initiative. You found yourself disappointed at his replies, knowing Harry would've matched your wit, or understood what you were trying to say. By the time the main dish was being taken away, you were a bit tired. It felt like you have to put in a lot of effort into an attempt at a connection with this guy, especially when you knew how easy it was to have such a connection right off the bat.

You thought you must've been hallucinating when you saw a shadow that looked an awful lot like Harry pass by the window, and it made you realize how much he had been floating in your head. You weren't being fair to Jake, so you decided to round off this date as soon as possible.

"Want dessert?"

"No I'm okay, thank you." You smiled at him.

"Okay, then I'll get the check." He announced.

"We can split, if you want to." You offered, but Jake was quick to shake his head.

"Absolutely not, my treat." He assured you. Cheeks flushed, you nodded, and turned your head to look at the hallway where the restrooms are.

"D'you mind if I go to the restroom then, before we go? I see there's a bit of a line, so I could also go later if you prefer." You pointed to the hallway where about five women were waiting to enter the toilet, but Jake shrugged.

"Go, it's fine, I'll bring the car around. It's parked a bit further away so if I get it now you won't have to walk all the way there in those heels of yours." He suggested, to which you nodded. Grabbing your purse and jacket, you made your way over to the line of women. Surprisingly enough, you only had to wait a minute before it was your turn to go to the bathroom, and in two minutes you were on your way to the front door of the restaurant again.

That was until you were snatched away by someone's hand.

There was not even a possibility to shriek, as your mouth was covered in the first second that you were grabbed and pulled into a coat room. It was only when you got turned around, and spotted Harry's face in the vague light, that you weren't scared for your life anymore. You pulled his hand off your mouth, attempting to push him away from you.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Are you insane?!" You shout-whispered, heart still pounding. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, but your anxiety from the sudden capture was slowly fading.

"I think that is a better fit question for me to ask you." He growled, pushing you against the wall between the racks full of coat hangers. You looked around you, hearing the mingling people in the restaurant, and realized that there was probably someone working here only a few feet away. "What the fuck are you doing having dinner with some random fucking guy?"

"I'm on a date!" You answered, frustrated with the fact that he was being so uptight about this.

"Yeah, and why the fuck would you do that?!" He hissed, knitted brows displaying the irritation that simultaneously showed in his tight grip on your waist. His hot breath fanning against your ear caused a totally different tension to arise in your stomach.

"Because I'm single, Harry!"

That shut him up. His face softened, and it was hard not to allow your heart to break into pieces as you witnessed that realization dawn on him. You didn't say anything as his eyes averted from you, digesting your words for a couple of seconds. And while the sound of glasses and utensils clinking against each other felt like a meteoric sting in your ears, there didn't seem to be a more deafening silence than this one.

What you didn't expect him to do was lean forward and kiss you, nor did you expect to go along with it so easily. However, at this point you shouldn't have been surprised; Harry turned your body and mind into jelly. He could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and it was bad, but it excited the hell out of you.

The sole thought of Harry being so jealous that he found the restaurant where you were having a date, and pulled you into the coat room to kiss you, had surged an army of butterflies to fly around in your stomach. Something, which you were aware, was absolutely not a proper and healthy reaction to a situation like this. But somehow... Harry made it hot.

And while you didn't like to admit it, you knew that the reason for that was because a part of you hoped that he would do this. You had secretly prayed in the back of your mind that he would come and get you once he realized you were something he could lose. And the fact that he was here now, kissing you and taking his hands all over your body made your cunt ache.

As if he was reading your mind—which you were quite sure at this point he was seriously capable of to some extent—he pulled up your dress and signaled for you to wrap your legs around his waist. He unbuttoned his pants, and you obeyed his wishes immediately, not wanting to waste any time. The fact that he was so incredibly hard only made you more enthusiastic. It was so wrong to have sex with Harry in the coat room while your date was outside waiting for you. Everything involving Harry was wrong... and that's what made it feel so fucking good.

"So wet for me, as always." He whispered into your ear as he entered you in one go. Your mouth hung open and a gasp left your lips, but you managed to keep quiet. The loudest sound was that of his dick thrusting into your wet pussy, with the two of you managing to stay at a surprisingly low volume.

You grabbed a handful of Harry's hair and closed your eyes as you lost yourself in the pleasure of him driving into you. The sound of footsteps and a coat hanger moving on a rack a few meters away had you squeezing Harry's shoulder. Instead of slowing down like a normal person would do, he took it as the perfect moment to pick up the speed and attach one of his fingers to your clit.

If it wasn't for the quickness of your hand that slapped over your own mouth, you would've moaned so loud that the entire restaurant probably would've heard. There was no time to glare at him, seeing as the pleasure of this devious act was getting all of your attention at the moment. Harry just smirked at you, leaning forward so his lips were next to your ear.

"If it were up to me, I'd have you take that pretty little hand off your mouth and let the entire restaurant hear how good I'm fucking you." He uttered, and you bit your lip to stifle any more moans that were threatening to escape your mouth at any moment.

"Let everyone hear how fucking desperate you are for me, and only me. Because you're mine." The question fell from his lips so confidently, that you didn't think to answer. Harry, displeased with your lack of words, accompanied his words with a hard thrust that had the tiniest whine fall from you lips. Like the devil he was, Harry continued the deep thrusts, edging you guys closer to getting caught. "Aren't you?"

Not daring to open your mouth fueled by the fear of being too loud and getting caught, you showed that you agreed with him by nodding profusely. You squeezed y(our eyes shut, a tear rolling down your cheek as you tried not to pass out from Harry's dick impaling your soaking wet pussy.

"You can say you're single all you want, but this sweet cunt belongs to me. Never had anything like me, and you never will. Can try as much as you want, but you'll always circle back to me." Harry grunted lowly, nails digging further into your skin. His thrusts became more aggressive, bringing you far closer to the edge in a record time.

"You're mine, like it or not."

You must have been sick in the head for that sentence to be the last straw. Because before you knew it, you were entirely falling apart around him. Harry had to put his lips on yours to muffle the sounds that kept coming out of your mouth as you cried and came around his cock. Your hands clamped onto his frame, trying to hold on in the way your legs couldn't.

The consistent clenching of your core around his cock had Harry follow soon after. He refrained himself from making too much noise by burying his head into your neck and softly biting on your skin as he filled you up with his seed. He stayed still inside of you, holding your legs up as you both took a few seconds to come down from your orgasm.

After slowly pulling his cock out of you, Harry put on your underwear quickly. You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Keep it inside of you." He ordered, causing you to frown at him.

"Harry, I'm on a d—" you tried to protest, but Harry quickly slapped his hand around your mouth again.

"I don't want to fucking hear it. It wasn't a question. Now, shut up, and do as I say."

Your widened eyes betrayed your underestimation of Harry. Of course, you wanted him to be jealous, but there was a part of you that still thought that he was only playing into the jealousy in a solely sexual sense. Nevertheless, you were too stunned to argue, so you nodded.

Adjusting your dress, you wiped your eyes to rid of the tear stains that had probably appeared in the last minutes. It was hard to stand, your head still misty from the spontaneous coat room sex.

"Go reject him." He demanded as he watched you put on your coat. You stopped in your tracks, your mouth falling open and your head shaking.

"I'm not going to reject him just because—"

"I don't think I posed that as a question either, love." His stern voice intercepted you once again. Your entire brain stopped and had to re-wire at the mention of that nickname, and you were sure it was the only reason you agreed.

With a heavy heart and a fluttering stomach you walked out of the restaurant, nearing Jake's car which was right in front of the door. It felt wrong to smile at him after what you had just done, and it dawned on you; you had become a horrible person. That self-made conclusion stirred you up so bad that you felt you could throw up, and it made you refuse to step into that car. Jake didn't deserve that.

He stepped out of the car, wanting to escort you to the passenger seat, but you stopped him. The grip on his arm made him turn back around, confusion written all over his face.

"I... Thank you so much for the lovely dinner, I really appreciate it. But—"

"But you're rejecting me." He filled in the blanks for you, leaving you speechless for a short second. You nodded slowly, and were grateful to see an empathic smile appearing on Jake's face. "Already? I haven't even given you a ride home yet."

You both chuckled at his joke, and as it died down, you tried to find his eyes. "I really did have a fun tonight, so thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess?" He stifled a laugh. "Are you sure you don't want me to give you a ride home?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm okay, really. I live very close anyway."

Jake nodded, and you said your goodbyes to him. You felt like a dickhead, and the fact that he had taken it so well had only made your guilt worse. It was horrible to watch him drive away, and Harry's approving voice from behind you didn't make you feel better either.

"Good girl, knew you'd listen."

You turned around, a look of pure thunder on your face as your eyes met Harry's. You stepped closer to him, pace picking up with every step.

"Get out of my face." You sneered, walking past him and down the street back towards your apartment. You heard Harry's footsteps start to follow you, and while that granted you a bit of satisfaction, it didn't fade the anger towards him or yourself in the slightest bit.

"Sweetheart—"

"Fuck you." You spat out, annoyed with the amount of impact of his nicknames for you had on you and your body.

"What the fuck happened? You were fine ten minutes ago." Harry called out, still walking a meter behind you. His words made you stop in your tracks, turning around to face him.

"What happened is that I realized what a horrible fucking person I've become, Harry! I just had sex with another guy while I was on a date with someone, that is so not okay!" You snapped. You took a deep breath, awaiting Harry's reaction, but he only stared at you. You couldn't quite make up anything specific from the manner in which he was observing you, but it for sure made you squirm.

“I’m not just some other guy.” He argued, distaste in the tone of his voice. He didn’t like the way it sounded so disposable.

“That doesn’t matter! It’s still a shitty thing to do… and I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You sighed, running your hands through your hair.

Silence took over the conversation. It was hard to look at Harry, you almost didn't dare to. There was a big part of you that never wanted this fling with him to end, but after tonight, you realized it was the only way to build up something new. You had gotten into this thing to distract yourself from the guy you were in love with, but now that you had finally seen the light and were far into the process of moving on, it seemed like it didn't serve much of a purpose anymore.

Besides, ever since that last hook-up, you weren't sure for how long it could stay casual before you'd start to develop feelings for this man. And that was something that absolutely couldn't happen.

“Harry, I am looking for something serious. You can’t give that to me, because you don’t want to, so I need to end this.” You explained, trying to search his gaze but he was making it impossible for you to look him in the eyes as he was furiously shaking his head.

“Why are you acting like you’re ending a relationship? We’re not in one.”

“Says the person who pushed me into a coat room because he was jealous.” You crossed your arms, seeing right through his bullshit and the dumb wall he’s putting up.

"Well… I don't like seeing you with other people." Was the only thing that fell from Harry's lips. His furrowed brows revealing the confusion that lingered in the delivery of the words as well. He wasn't sure of how to express what he was feeling, but the vagueness of the words he did communicate wasn't improving this situation at all.

“That’s very boyfriend material of you.” You tried to joke, a small smile forming on your lips. Harry’s mouth quirked up as well despite the frown on his face.

“I am not boyfriend material.” He chuckled.

"I know, it’s why I’m not even considering asking you to be something like that. I know you wouldn’t want to. " You smiled, and Harry nodded. His eyes were clearer now and it wasn’t as hard for him to look you in the eyes anymore.

“Alright.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. Like there was nothing left to do about it. That this was it, in the blink of an eye, and that it was all concluded with a simple shrug of the shoulders.

It made your heart sting, but upon feeling it you knew that you had made the right decision. If you hadn’t ended it now, that sting would’ve developed into full grown heart ache, and Harry was the wrong person to develop that for.

“Alright.” You repeated, looking for some sort of doubt in his eyes, but there seemed to be none. So you let it rest. Turning your attention to the street, you flagged down a cab.

“I’m going home, I’ll see you around?”

“I can take you home, you know, you don’t have to take a cab.” Harry offered, but you were quick to shake your head.

“No, that would be too boyfriend-like of you.” You grinned, and Harry sighed at your attempt at a joke. You opened the door of the cab.

“Fine. See you around.” He put his hands in his pockets, and walked towards the front of the cab. He tapped on the window where your taxi driver was sitting and handed him some money, too much for a single short cab ride. He told the taxi driver to keep it, as long as he’d bring you home safe. The driver, a kind man from what you’d gathered so far, thanked Harry and assured him that he would do his job.

Harry’s eyes flicked to the backseat, meeting yours one last time, and threw a wink at you. You felt inclined to roll your eyes, but you didn’t, the moment feeling a bit too sentimental to bash Harry for winking at you. It was the last time you were seeing him, being what you two were, and it made you kind of melancholic. Nevertheless, you reminded yourself it was for the better. Besides, you were sure you’d see him around…

Taglist: @imgonnadreamaboutthewayyoutaaaa @sassamanda77

[misc-obeyme]

Lesson 37 spoilers below - it's screenshot heavy again because OH BOY we had a lot going on this time too. I took almost 100 screenshots lol. But don't worry, I narrowed it down... uh but there are still a lot so I apologize for that.

I do believe I said in my last post that if they were going to go full Dante, they would bury Lucifer in ice.

I only said that because I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GO FULL DANTE.

Now listen, it's been a long time since I've read the Divine Comedy, so there may be a lot more references that I am missing. I can tell you that the four circles or sections or whatever that Simeon named for us are from Dante. That right there is straight from Dante's Inferno, along with their names and who they're supposed to punish. I don't really feel like any of this has much relevance except that they used it as a backdrop and to create reasons for us to lose most of the people who came to help us as we went.

And truly the lore was fascinating in general, but there are a couple of specific pieces about this that made me go EXCUSE YOU.

It's the Celestial Realm again, guys. Cocytus is part of their domain. And the last area is for those who betrayed "him" as they so eloquently put it lol. Both Mammon and Lucifer are considered traitors in this regard, but I kind of suspect that if the rest of the bros made it to that level, they would've had a similar experience.

Anyway, I was pissed. I was like Diavolo in the hard lesson.

Right, so let's talk Mephistopheles. I'm not familiar enough with the legend of Faust or its variations to know if the way they described his special power is based on that. However, I highly suspect it is at least somewhat inspired by it. Considering making a deal with the devil is what that story is all about.

But aside from all that - I LOVE HIM OH NO.

WHAT. This guy... all this time I thought he was really stuck up. And like I kinda get it, considering how he was supposed to be Diavolo's right hand man and everything. But he's straight up saying that he underestimated them. He seems to have no problem saying yeah, turns out I was wrong and you guys impressed me. So don't go around giving up now. AND he says they learned it from Lucifer? Like... he gets them. He understands them. And I was not expecting that at all. He keeps surprising me and I'm loving it.

Welcome to my life, Mephi.

It's pointless to resist.

I'm telling you, this is just how it always goes.

BUT OH! I'm not gonna lie, this made me feel something. All the brothers usually say such nice things to me, but this guy is basically like ARE YOU STUPID? And I love it?!?!? Augh I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance before, sir.

Okay, now let's talk Solomon being the hot old grandpa that he is. I SWEAR every time he shows up lately it's been making me more insane about him.

WE SUMMONED HIM. We needed him in Cocytus and he wasn't there, so we straight up SUMMONED HIM. We couldn't do it without Mammon giving us his power 'cause our magic is weak, but STILL!?!?

I think Simeon referred to it as teleporting, but really it was the same as summoning him. I think the words were even the summoning spell words.

If this was actually me we were talking about, I would start doing it ALL THE TIME. Consider yourself on call, old man.

And then we got this excellent exchange:

Not only am I always here for big bro Mammon getting protective, but Solomon bringing it right back was also great.

Okay, now let's talk about Raphael and Simeon.

Do you think we're dealing with Michael disguised as Raphael again? For some reason I don't think so, but... at this point, it's like how do you tell? I'm going to talk about it with the assumption that it's actually Raphael and not Michael.

Simeon during this part gave me chills. Because when Raphael showed up and spoke the punishment or whatever and Luke was about to protest, Simeon silenced him. Simeon wouldn't let Luke protest because he knew that wouldn't be good for our baby boy. Simeon was prepared to take the fall instead. And he wasn't about to just let things stand.

I can't accept it. I swear, Simeon's character is far more complex than anyone gives him credit for. He doesn't get anywhere near the amount of appreciation he deserves. I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

Right, but back to Raphael.

Baby. He's crying. He was just delivering the ultimatum, the decision about the brothers' punishment, and he was crying. I was so surprised, it was so soft and sad and I wanted to hug him. And look at Simeon's frown. AND THEN

EVEN LUCIFER. This man is chained up in some ice and he still sees how Raphael is struggling and feels sorry for him. (Like maybe he's been there before himself...)

This is why I think it really is Raphael. Because this feels like such a significant revelation of his character, I think it'd be a disservice to him if we found out later it wasn't him at all. So I'm hoping it's still him.

Now. Let's talk about Diavolo. I'm pretty sure this was in the hard lesson, so be aware of that!

He is so pissed. I don't think I've ever seen Diavolo quite like this. Worried, sometimes serious, but angry? Like to the point where he thinks he might lose control? I don't think that's happened, has it?

AND BARB. His reaction is so interesting! At first he has this look of surprise, but then LOOK AT THAT SMILE. Here's Dia being like, I need you to stop me, but you can't tell me that smile on Barb's face belongs to anyone who's going to stop anyone. He looks like he's looking forward to it. I love him so much it's stupid. (Also I think Barbatos is just as much of a menace as Solomon is, he's just better at hiding it. Where do you think Sol gets it from??)

And of course the lesson ended with Lucifer BREAKING THROUGH HIS CHAINS. Ugh another cliffhanger.

In general, I really loved the brotherly affection that was running amok in this chapter. They were annoying each other and protecting each other and sacrificing for each other and it was all amazing. They banded together because they care so much about Lucifer, there's no way they would leave him to his fate.

And once again, the Celestial Realm is to blame. I think it makes sense that they're doing this. Before, they said that the seven brothers assuming positions of power in the Devildom meant that the power balance between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm was out of whack. That's why they wanted the brothers back. But the brothers wouldn't come back.

And while the Celestial Realm threatened war, they didn't do that, either.

Do you think perhaps the Celestial Realm collaborated with the House of Lords to get Lucifer trapped in Cocytus? The House of Lords controlled the train where everything went down. The Celestial Realm controls Cocytus. They probably knew that Lucifer's brothers would try to rescue him and counted on them getting trapped in the ice, too.

But perhaps they weren't expecting any interference from Mephisto or Simeon. They had to be expecting MC, I would think. Maybe they underestimated MC because they're human? And maybe they thought Diavolo would just accept it? (If so they are duuuuumb lol.)

Okay just a couple more screenshots because they made me laugh.

PLEASE. I love their dynamic SO MUCH.

Hmm. Is that a threat, Barb? 'Cause uh... you can casually threaten me with that slight smile any time I MEAN yeah, you tell 'em.

I cackled about what do you mean "ahaha" like I can't believe Levi actually said that out loud lol.

Cheer up, Belphie. Let Asmo live the otome dream, won't you?

Okay, okay, I'm done. Overall, I quite enjoyed this chapter, but I'm still sensing more drama, probably until the end of the season, honestly.

You think Nightbringer will make an appearance before it's over? It's almost like I forgot this whole new app was made to tell a story about him. He's just been mostly MIA. UNLESS someone else has been him in disguise all along...

Nope. No. I refuse to get into theorizing, this post is already too long.

[ladykissingfish]

*Obito and Kakashi at a store* Obito: Thanks again for helping me, Bakashi. I had no idea what Rin might like for Valentine's Day. Kakashi: I'm just shocked that you've finally gotten up the nerve to confess to her. I had bets going with Minato-sensei on how long it'd take you. Obito, scowling: Love your confidence in me. Okay ... *they come to a section of stuffed toys* Which kind should I get her? What kind would YOU want? Kakashi: I'd want the pink wolf, but, Rin might want the bear? Obito: No, I'll get the wolf. You two have similar tastes. Kakashi: You better hope so ... every single thing you got for her is something that I'd pick for myself. The flowers, the candy, and now this toy ... Obito: *takes the things up to the register* Have more faith in yourself, man. *Obito pays and the two head outside the store* Kakashi: Well, I'll get going home, now. I don't want to be a third wheel when you take these things to her. Good luck! Remember to -- Obito, blushing: Um ... um ... *holds out everything in his arms* T-these are actually for you ... Kakashi: W-what? Obito: I wanted to be sure that everything I got you was something you'd really want. R-rin suggested I do it this way, to break the ice. I ... I've wanted to confess to you for the longest time, but I wasn't sure how you'd react. Obito: *chances it to take Kakashi's hands in his own* Obito: Bakashi, I love you, and it would make me really happy if we dated. W-what do you say? Kakashi: *Kakashi drops Obito's hands, and Obito panics, thinking he made a horrible mistake* Obito: O-oi! Hey I'm sorry, please forget I said that stuff, I don't want to lose your friendship or -- Kakashi: *reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small, neatly wrapped box* Kakashi, blushing: F-for you ... *Obito opens the box with shaky hands to reveal two hand-carved beads on a silver chain. One bead is a small cat, the other a dog* Obito: K-kakashi -- ! Kakashi: I wanted to give this to you for a long time, too. But I didn't want to stand in the way of you and Rin, because you two are my best friends. But if Rin understands, and you feel the same about me, then ... Obito: *grabs Kakashi's face and kisses him* YES! Kakashi: *blushes and hugs Obito tightly* Yes. And now that we're boyfriends, can I tell you something important? Something said with total honesty? Obito: Of course! That's the only type of relationship I'd want to have with you! Kakashi: Okay. Your mouth tastes like sour cream, ramen, and dango. I don't know WHAT kind of insane diet you have going on, but I think it's something we need to work on. Obito: Obito: Maybe total honesty isn't the best thing ...

[organizationhimself]

i actually can't believe I'm only just now understanding the sick burn of the WINNER stick in the year of our lord 2024.

i always assumed roxas gave this to axel based on some kind of childish logic i didn't really understand. you know, like he's giving up something important while he's running away from home, or he's rejecting the whole ritual of the ice cream thing and making it a fuck you, axel, hope you feel like you won something. (idk, i played kingdom hearts before all my baby brains fell out so i didn't really question these things.)

but here's the thing, and it's unique to the game (the manga has a different take). roxas finds that WINNER stick towards the beginning of the game, when axel's not around to explain it. so he just kinda forgets to mention, and as a result has this thing that axel is totally unaware he has for months and months.

it's not till much later that axel thinks to mention, oh hey, if you find WINNER written on one of your ice cream sticks, that's good or something, and the kiddos are like why?? and axel goes good question i don't got a fuckin clue, I've never found one, but you must win something cool right??

FRIENDS. i need you to understand something about this man's ice cream consumption.

we know FOR A FACT that axel has been eating an average of one (1) sea salt ice cream bar for nearly an entire year. bbs proves there is an outstanding chance that he has been eating it for multiple years before that, yes alone, yes still sitting on the clock tower (or equivalent), pathetic wet cat of a man, you might not like it but this is what peak performance looks like. so even if we're more generous than I'm inclined to be and say that between twilight town's discovery, castle oblivion, skipping days because of interpersonal drama or missions running late, etc., axel has only had 1-2 ice creams per day for about eight out of twelve months, friends that is AT LEAST 240 fucking ice creams in a row?? comrades HE HAS TO BE GOING TO THE SAME STORE SOMETIMES. we're not even talking about roxas, who is there on the clock tower EVERY DAY, rain or shine, ice cream in hand, and has never found a second winner stick. who decided this ratio of winners to losers, willy wonka?? what the fuck is this marketing campaign?? no wonder axel doesn't know what you win when these things are rarer than ethers in kh1 and roxas should be mailing that thing to a museum. how does axel even know the WINNER sticks exist?? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

anyway, the point I'm getting to is that there's this other seemingly valuable thing that axel can't explain the purpose or use case of to roxas and xion's satisfaction. and it's also something roxas has had for months without axel's (or tbh his own) knowledge, never once realizing the significance of it.

that thing is of course, hearts.

so when roxas leaves that stick behind, yeah he's probably saying "i don't need your friendship anymore." yeah he's probably saying "screw this, screw you, i quit."

but he's also saying "here's this thing you wanted that has value i don't understand, and i know you don't get it either. pursuing things like this is obviously more important to you than we are, or you wouldn't still be here in the organization's stronghold to find this. i didn't need to have this thing to make those days with you guys worthwhile, but since you're still looking for one, here it is. i hope it was worth it."

like jesus kid. here i thought he was supposed to be the fire guy.

[froggieco]

Some controversial thoughts about the Peachyville Horror

I've been seeing how everyone is reacting to Francis's moment in the bathroom in this latest episode (episode 7) and I thought I might as well add one more.

Francis is someone who is mentally unstable, yes. I think this is something we can all agree with. He's surrounded by people who seem to either enable his actions in one way or another or they're on a list of people he keeps which we can only assume is something like a hit list. He's been looked down on by his parents, bullied by his peers, and generally just beat down by everyone around him including himself at this point. Then he won that trophy. That's where everything shifts. He's the one to take it home and it's obvious that by how Will was describing that trophy, something about it had negative energy.

⚠️Now I get into some gory details in this next part so fair warning ⚠️

Now, Francis had his dream and suddenly became violent to an extent that he would joke about it and people would feel threatened. Relistening to episode 5, he threatened a man after scooping his eyes out with an ice cream scoop by kicking him in the balls and then grabbing his eyeballs and threatening to squeeze them. Now, I get it this is a horror comedy podcast but if we are gonna analyze a character I'm taking everything into account and really this is the first and really an extremely violent thing for a person to do, especially when this is the first actions he's been known to take.

Getting the gun and instantly he seemed to know exactly what he "needed" to do. On a dime, the Francis we knew just a few episodes ago was already so different.

Now that brings us to the bathroom scene. People have been saying it was a mental "snap" or "break" which doesn't line up, like how most others have pointed out that this was something that was premeditated. He planned out this whole thing and followed through with it. And to those who think he did this so Shane wouldn't bother him anymore, he didn't see Francis at all through the whole attack, which yes, Francis could go back and claim he did it but I still this it's important to note we don't know if Shane will believe him.

That being said, with every increasingly violent act that Francis had done up to that point it made sense within the confines of his world. It was in his character that things have played out this way so far. And really I think it's going to make for a really interesting character arc. He isn't going to to be a character that we have seen before, which when we just had a season of teens that were just coming into themselves Anthony is getting his chance to get his character in, and it is a horror series. This doesn't make any of the actions acceptable by any means and this should not encourage people to romanticize any of the actions he does. There is a way to like a character and not romanticize their actions, some of these posts remind me of posts of people romanticizing real murderers and shooters, which is rather disturbing.

TLDR

Francis suddenly got violent after bringing the trophy home, having a dream after being under his teacher's bed for 4 hours, and now he's suddenly he's on a bloody rampage and those around him are either enablers or in his line of fire and that's an interesting new character to think about. But don't romanticize that shit.

Extra

• Another idea I saw floating around was that Francis got switched with his reflection in the trophy, which I love the idea of this one. It can keep the idea of mental health slightly but it brings the story back into it. But, I understand that even without evil trophies, people like Francis exist in our world.

• Also having him practice with his bully's face as the target was really the warning. I personally didn't know the scene was going to be that graphic but now looking back I get the horror side of the podcast now. As someone who lives in America it was something that shocked me the first time listening to it, knowing that the usual stuff that the guys bring up I can laugh off. This scene most definitely felt different and I'm sure that it's going to be a huge turning point for a lot of things.

[yuri-is-online]

Congratulations on your 500 Followers!🎉 Hope you will grow more! I would like to choose the number 1 prompt, "Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them."

For Jack, Sebek and Silver please

1. Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them.

Thank you very much friend! I really hope this is to your liking, and I really hope that you continue to find things that entertain you posted to this account.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, mutual pining, I find Jack really hard to write for because of his whole soulmate thing but please know he loves Yuu so fucking much he is in pain, Sebek thinks he's slick, and Silver is oblivious to a lot. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist.

Jack

There is a distressing lack of fluffy tails within your line of sight in the ballroom this evening. A feeling has been growing within you these past few months, similar to a crush but so intense it makes you want to fall over with the strength of your longing. You have no idea if Jack feels the same, he has continued to treat you with the same degree of feigned indifference he's held you at since the day you met.

And now he has left you all alone in the middle of a ballroom full of people that very much aren't him. Well that's how you feel it's not like you made any sort of concrete agreement to meet up beyond the typical first year friend group "hey let's all get together" texts that always populated your group chat when the school hosted events like this. You suppose your feet were always going to hurt at an event like this, but you had been hopeful that your heart wouldn't ache as well.

"Come here often?" A strange strangled voice asks, clearly trying to break the ice and not at all serious. You are both leaning against a pillar after all.

"Not really." Your stomach is still firmly in your throat, this person is massive and you see no sign of the comforting ears and tail of a wolf. "You?"

"Nope." And though neither of you make much a move to keep the conversation moving, you don't move to leave either despite the growing awkward aura around you both. You look out across the ballroom, eyes drawn towards Leona desperately searching for a sign. Your strange new friend takes note, he also seems to be looking at Leona. "Not afraid of staring are, you?"

"Is that what it looks like?" You ask slightly distressed.

"Most people just tuck tail and run when they see Savanaclaw." He almost sounds disgusted, but you can't quite tell with who. "I'm surprised you can stand to look."

"I've got good friends in Savanaclaw." You huff. Sure there's a chance this guy doesn't mean anything by what he's saying, but this is NRC. There is a much bigger chance that he does.

"Oh? Like who, Jack Howl?" This bitch-

"No." You cross your arms. "Friends don't make you want to explode."

"... I'm sorry?" The strange man apologizes, and it really does sound like he means it if the way he's scratching the back of his head is anything to go by. Unfortunately you have been sitting on these stupid feelings all night and really need them out in front of someone who isn't Grim, seven knows he doesn't care.

"Seriously like- wolf beastmen have only one soulmate? Forever? So it doesn't matter how I feel I just- never have a chance like ever. Ever ever ever, he's just always going to see me as some annoying hanger on- well maybe not annoying because I actually put in an effort you know?" The captive audience doesn't nod but that's ok, you just keep charging on. "And I know he appreciates that because his tail wags every time one of us do and it's so cute to watch."

"'m not cute."

"But that just doesn't matter he's got somebody already he just hasn't met them yet and I don't even know the right music to try and get rid of my feelings to. It's not like I can just ask him out and hope rejection will make the feelings go away because there is just no way he would be like in anyway nice about it-"

"What if you were that person though?" The stranger's voice is so strangled it's almost recognizable, and it successfully snaps you out of your stupor.

"But I'm not." You want to scream it, but it comes out so very quietly. "He was really clear about that, he'd just know."

"I'm stupid. I mean he is. Stupid. And you're human, maybe the feeling's different because there's a chance for rejection. It's not like humans always have soul mates." A dull silence falls over you both. Unease working it's pesky way back into both of your minds.

Not all humans have soul mates, but you most certainly do. Just... give him a moment, a ball is not his scene. But later when you're all alone, traipsing your way through the woods towards that lonely cottage there will be a wolf primed to strike. Just why did he ever worry Jack wonders, glad for the mask hiding his grin, he knew he only needed to be lucky once.

Sebek

"Just what is your opinion on Malleus anyway?" Sebek tells himself he is asking you this for safety reasons. It's a question he has asked you before, just louder and with force enough to "blow down a barn door" to quote Epel, but this damn mask had a mockingly fitting enchantment that pitched his voice down and quieted it the more he tried yelling. He almost sounded like he was impersonating Jade, something that would likely deeply amuse the strange upperclassmen and seems to have a soothing effect on you. Not that he was jealous!

"Tsunotarou and I are bros." Yuu puts up what Master Lilia had told him was a "peace sign" and "extremely cute" but makes him seethe with rage and actual jealousy, not whatever that sickening feeling he'd had before was.

"You are not." The mask makes his dull roar sound like a middle aged mother gleefully scolding her friend for buying a particularly saucy pair of heels and not the justified rage of a royal retainer. "If you are bros just what does that make you to his retainers hmmmm?" That makes Yuu falter for some reason, mouth moving before the words are fully formed like they are considering hiding something.

That scares him. Because it compromises his lord's safety. Obviously.

"Well, I think Lilia's super cool." An objectively true statement human. A bit sparse on the praise but then what use would Master Lilia have for a human's praise? It would be better spent on him anyway. "He's really smart and happy to talk about what he knows, even if he lies about things sometimes, gotta have fun with yourself sometimes I guess. Silver is a bit dense, but he tries so hard you have to respect him for it." Again Sebek finds himself agreeing with Yuu, but the praise stings for some reason. It's minimal, but he supposes Yuu's avoidance of addressing the issue- not that they are he supposes, they may have stopped speaking but he doesn't think they intend to not give an opinion about him.

"And Sebek?" But he prods for it anyway because he wants it. He knows himself, he is not exactly ashamed of himself but Sebek knows you would never tell him the full truth of your opinion to his face. He can't even call Yuu by their name, why should they-

Sigh, like a besotted Princess in a fairy tale, play with the edges of their cape like a Prince questioning his propriety in voicing his desires but unable to swallow their emotion-

"He's really something else." You mean it, not that you are too sure why you feel like telling this stranger your deepest secret or why you chose to phrase it like a complaint. But the compliment suits Sebek like that you think. And the stranger doesn't stop you. "Knights are sort of out of fashion where I'm from but I've always liked them, and Sebek's the perfect image of one you know? I just wish there was some room in his heart for someone other than Malleus... not that I think his devotion's a bad thing y'know? I just- want to be treasured by a knight too."

"Just a knight?" The stranger asks. "Silver's there too I suppose."

"Nah he's not really my type." You shrug. "I like my guys a little pathetic. Look-" You barely notice the familiar way the stranger splutters as you bow to signal your exit. "I gotta go get Grim before he lights the place on fire, if you see Sebek tell him I'm looking for him? I want to dance with him at least once I just know he's good at it." And with that they're gone leaving an extremely competent and not at all pathetic thank you very much! Flustered mess of a man behind them.

Silver

"Oh hello Prefect." You have no idea who this student is but it is not unusual for people to know who you are given everything that's happened at this stupid school since you accidentally enrolled. "Nice to see you are enjoying yourself, the rolls are really good." And he is not judging you for the amount of bread you have in front of you so as far as you are concerned he can stay.

"They really are." You nod sagely, offering your new friend some of your hoard which he happily accepts as you both turn towards the ballroom to people watch. "I shouldn't be surprised at how good the food is, but somehow I always am." The stranger nods ruefully.

"I know what you mean. After eating so much of fa- Lillia's cooking you forget what things are supposed to taste like sometimes." Oh so this guy is in Diasomnia then? You'll have to compliment Tsunotarou later, this guy is super polite.

"Yeah I can see that, it makes feel bad for Silver sometimes what with how close those two are." You continue munch on your bread, too caught up in the fluffiness of it to notice how the "stranger" pauses, a thought forming in his mind he is sure to regret later but is unable to fully resist.

To long is human, which he is, painfully so.

"Do you think about Silver often?" He hopes he sounds playful, you fluster, looking the man up and down wondering if maybe Lilia has decided to alter his appearance to tease you some.

"More often than I should." Even if this is Lilia, it's not like anyone can really mock you for this can you? It's a Masquerade Ball, you're allowed to spill your guts to a stranger and reasonably expect nothing to come of it. Hell, just because this guy's in Diasomnia doesn't mean he'll say anything. "He's hard to ignore you know?"

"Not really." Silver picks at the bread, half hoping you will drop the topic, half agonizing about how to feel if you do. "He... doesn't have the best reputation in our dorm. People think he's too intense."

"Hmmm." You can see why, people who lack facial expressions often find themselves failing to express their intent. "That doesn't bother me." Oh he could practically soar, his whole body straightens in pride when you say that. "Silver is one of the few people I feel truly safe and... well sometimes I feel cherished around him. But I don't want to put pressure on him since we aren't even really friends I don't think."

"Why wouldn't you be?" He is deeply confused, he knows Lilia's advice is always coached in jokes but Silver didn't think the flowers he asked his animal friends to find would hinder his progress too badly. You were even wearing them tonight, it was how he found you, so it's not like you hated them... right? "I- He cares about you, I mean you know that right?"

"Maybe." Is all you say, eyes looking for someone in the crowd that's sat right next to you oh so painfully unaware- "But if I said I liked him would he even know what I meant? Would he still want to be friends... if..."

"Of course he would." Silver means it, but somehow he feels like he is missing something. The weight of your hand maybe, as you leave the "stranger" in search of... well he hopes "Silver" because if he knew you loved him, because he thinks that was what you meant maybe he wouldn't want to be just friends.

Best friends maybe? He'll have to ask Li- his father later.

[rocksibblingsau]

Omg Spideeeeer, he is so small 🥺🥺🥺 Literally just a little guy. Branch finally making friends outside of the diner gang and creating one of the biggest and deepest bounds know to man, rivalry <3

They hate each other, they are best friends, they try to kill each other in the most violent ways possible and then go for ice cream together. They would literally murder someone if they played laser tag in the same team, they are likely banned from playing any coop games at the arcade and make diner gang's game night literal hell on earth. Spider calls Branch his biggest enemy and the worst thing to ever happen to him, Branch pretends he doesn't even know how Spider is and insults his whole existence every chance he gets... Spider also sleep over at his house at least once a month and they take wrestling classes together.

Did I maybe get to invest on a background character with currently one line? Perhaps... But you can't blame me, rivals and mortal enemies that are actually love each other or are (not so) secret best friends is my favorite trope! Annnnnnd Branch deserves as many friends as he can get, let the boy be loved and cherished by his peers and equals!

I think you'll like what I've got cooking up for Spider!

I'm glad people like Spider, he's a silly little guy

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

📖 🥺 🩹🍭? Oooor 🙏🏻🍭

45 Minute Friends - Lester Billings/Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, no use of Y/N, nothing else this time other than those sad eyes QwQ

Wordcount: 5391

Summary: When your meetcute turns into a surprising but nice friendship with the handsome man at the grocery store you frequent, you find yourself not ever wanting to know what he looks like without the smile that drew you in in the first place.

Notes: Even though he was in the list, I was still so surprised when I got this one! Did not expect any Lester but I'm so glad I got him because once again I have rebuilt a man from scratch to make him my own hehe so I hope you guys like this one~ 💗💗💗 (And if there's any demand for a sequel, wellllll... 😏)

Every Thursday like clockwork he was there, getting groceries between the minutes of 5:15 and 6PM. The first couple times you'd bumped into him had been random, just you rushing to the store for something for dinner or grabbing something you were low on last minute - usually you preferred getting in during the early hours of the morning when the place was empty - but after the third Thursday of noticing him grabbing a bunch of sugary breakfast cereals and a big tub of ice cream to pile along with the more adult things in his cart, your curiosity was too strong to resist wondering if you could see him again. He wore suits, a working man, and he took his health seriously despite the treats, although once in a while he did tend to hang out a little too long amongst the dessert counter where all the cakes were on display.

He was tall, very handsome, and there was something so comfortable about him you decided as he grabbed a box off the shelf and flipped it over to read the nutritional values. You sucked in a deep, encouraging breath before pushing your cart down the aisle, pretending to be interested in the many different brands of pasta before stopping and staring at the one on the top shelf where he was standing. ‘Excuse me,’ you asked politely, pretending like you hadn't just found the perfect excuse to finally talk to him, ‘could you please pass me that box? If it's not too much trouble.’

His height came very much in handy as he easily grabbed it and handed it over, and you flushed before you noticed the ring on his left hand as it held the box; ah, he was married, so much for your meetcute. ‘Big dinner coming up?’ he asked casually when he saw your cart, which was packed enough to last you the rest of the month since you knew you'd be too busy to visit weekly for a while, and you just shook your head with a nervous laugh.

‘Oh, no, just that time of the year again, gunna be swamped from dawn til dusk for a while,’ you told him as you tossed the pasta in, even if it was something you'd never eat normally you were still going to buy it after this. ‘How about you? I take it your kid has a sweet tooth?’

He laughed back, and even though it couldn't be your dream meetcute you still felt a blush dust over your cheeks. ‘All three of them, actually, don't tell my wife but I think they got it from me.’

So that explained him staring at the cakes. ‘Don't worry I won't,’ you promised, your hand over your heart, and he looked back to the box in his hand before going for it and offering you a handshake.

‘Lester, Lester Billings,’ he introduced himself as you shook, your name falling from your mouth rather ungracefully when you saw how his hand enveloped your own. ‘I think I've seen you around here before, do you live nearby?’

‘20 minutes out of town, but I like the prices here, so it's worth the drive,’ you admitted easily even though your crush was still technically a stranger, but he just whistled at the long drive and moved onto the sauces.

‘I'm in town, but if I don't go right after work I'd never get the chance,’ he confided right back while picking up a jar. ‘Have you tried this brand before? Rita, my wife, introduced me to it last year and we haven't gone back.’ He handed you the jar before grabbing his own before you could answer, and you hadn't even heard of it before as you just shrugged and took his word for it, it also joining your increasingly expensive haul. His phone went off then, and he pulled it out and let out a quiet kid-safe curse before typing a reply back. ‘Sorry, forgot the party started at 5:30, thought I still had an hour, it was nice meeting you!’ he said as he headed off for the register, his food toppling over with several crashes in his hurry, and you couldn't help but grin as you grabbed your favourite pasta as well as a second bottle of sauce before continuing on your own list.

You really weren't able to go back again until work had died down, your cupboards getting bare from all the late nights of having just enough energy to cook, eat, and pass out until your alarm. Now that you knew he lived in town you couldn't help but look for him as you drove to work, but you put an end to that pretty fast after you swear you saw him in casual clothes and nearly ran a red light. You spent that time instead getting your crush under control, your mother didn't raise a homewrecker that was for sure, but when you finally were able to return and you spotted him checking out the watermelons you couldn't help but wave when he glanced up. He smiled wide at you and pointed at the one in his hand, it was huge and he was over the moon about the find, and you couldn't stop the smile and blush that followed as you rolled over to him without a second thought.

‘Free from work?’ he asked as he finished his checks, and you realized it'd been a while since you indulged and started the hunt for your own.

‘Finally, it's been a nightmare,’ you breathed exaggeratedly, which earned you another laugh.

‘It’s been the same for me, Thursday is the only night I get to come home on time just for this.’ He settled on a melon and was about to put it in his cart when he quickly stopped you from picking up your own. ‘Whoa, that guy's not ripe yet, here, my wife sent me this after last time,’ he said as he swapped out the melon for his phone, and he swiped through a bunch of photos before pulling up a visual guide on how to choose. He pointed at the one you were about to grab on his screen before taking your hand and finding a better one, the shiver running up your arm hopefully not giving you away. ‘This one should be better, it'll last you longer too if you aren't eating it all tonight.’

‘By myself? Hell no!’ you blurted out before you could think of something more suitable to say, but the resulting laugh was so loud and full of life that you couldn't help but giggle along with him as he supported himself on your shoulder. 

‘Sorry, I don't mean to offend,’ he chuckled as he picked up his suggested fruit, placing it in your cart for you without you even asking, ‘forgive me for assuming you were unavailable.’

‘No no, it's fine,’ you quickly said before you could say the same to him, he didn't need to know about your crush, ‘thanks for the recommendation, it's been years since I took the time to actually get one of these and not just the packaged slices.’

‘Every time they're in season we get one, my kids could eat most of one on their own, I swear.’ He considered getting a second before deciding against it, they could space it out you figured, and he started to head for the next thing before turning back to you. ‘You coming? It's been a while since I had some company on one of these, makes it less boring,’ he offered as he waited, and your heart skipped a beat as you hurried to catch up to him.

You talked about random things as you shopped, him mostly about his kids and how much his youngest looked like his mother, you about whatever you could think of so it wouldn't be so one-sided. You learned that he and his wife were highschool sweethearts, started dating then and got married when they were both in their early 20s, and that it'd taken them a while but finally their firstborn had been gifted to them by the time they were almost in their 30s. As such he spoiled his kids rotten, loved them all immensely, and he revealed to you that he planned on taking them to Disneyland once summer vacation finally came. You could tell he was excited about it, maybe even more than his kids were going to be, and your crush turned to something more as you finally reached the dessert counter.

He didn't linger since you were with him, so you sneakily stopped to check out the cheesecakes. ‘Oh, they have Caramel Pecan! I might have to grab a slice after that nightmare of a month,’ you wondered aloud, and you saw the way his eyes shone as he stopped and joined you.

‘My kids do love chocolate…’ he trailed off as he examined the flavours, all of them enticing him, and you smiled as you waved over the worker.

‘Excuse me, could I get a slice of this one?’ you asked as you pointed to your choice, Lester still deciding on his own with childlike wonder that made you suspicious it wasn't just his kids who liked chocolate.

‘I'm sorry, only the full sized cakes come in that flavour, the slices can be found over here if you'd like to try another one?’ she apologized, and you couldn't fight the frown as you glanced at the slices but didn't see any you wanted. 

‘I'll take the Caramel Pecan and the Chocolate Fudge Supreme,’ he then said as soon as you went to tell her it was fine, and you looked up at him as he gave you the warmest smile you'd ever seen in your life. ‘We're having another party this weekend, maybe you can join us, have a slice,’ he offered, and when you nodded you then found yourself with his number in your phone along with his address.

His house was nice and the front yard was covered in toys, loud music drifting from the backyard as kids screamed in delight and parents talked over them as best they could. You held the dish you'd decided to bring at the mention that it'd be a potluck a little closer to your chest before knocking on the door, almost missing the sign taped to the wall above the doorbell. It told you and their other guests to head around back for the party, and you followed the path to the side gate and headed to where all the voices were coming from. 

He had a huge pool that was currently filled with kids and their friends, some of the adults hanging out by the deep end as others were crowding around the grill, and you searched for him in this sea of strangers until you spotted him exiting through the back door, the cheesecakes in hand. You grinned as you rushed over to help, but you stopped when an auburn-haired woman walked up instead, taking your Caramel Pecan from him and making a face at it before placing it on the table along with the other treats. You stilled, halfway to him as he waved off her disgust with a laugh, and you felt yourself become self-conscious; you enjoyed his company, and he was fun to talk to, but you didn't belong in this part of his life, no, you were his friend among the aisles from between 5:15-6PM, you shouldn't be there-

‘Hey! You made it!’ You stopped mid-turn at the sound of his voice, a smile plastered to your face as he jogged over, and you wouldn't tell him but he really did look like a dad in his casual clothes, it was a good look on him.

‘Hey, yeah, something came up so I just wanted to drop this off on my way,’ you lied, and his smile turned to disappointment as he glanced back at the party.

‘You sure you can't stay? The food's almost ready, we were gunna get out the protector and watch a move on the side of the house while we ate,’ he told you almost sadly, and you were about to decline when the woman from earlier walked up next to him and looked you over. ‘Rita, this is the one I was telling you about, my new friend from Walkers,’ he announced as she linked her arms through his, and she wasn't at all like he described as she glanced up at him so fast he missed it, but you didn't.

‘Charmed, I take it you're staying for dinner?’ she asked, and she didn't sound nearly as nice as he made her out to be.

‘I, uh…’

‘You were just telling me what you wanted, burger or hot dog,’ he cut in, looking hopeful as you held your bowl of potato salad a little tighter. ‘We also have sausages and some vegetarian options, if you'd prefer?’

‘A cheeseburger sounds great,’ you finally replied, and he nodded before calling over to someone named Tommy by the grill to toss on two more for you. Rita let go as he led you to the table so you could set down your bowl, and everything looked delicious as you gazed over the spread, completely entranced by what you planned on grabbing before he held you out of the way of a bunch of running kids. You thought he scolded them for running and to be careful, but honestly you didn't hear anything as your face was pressed to his chest, his hands warming you more than the sun as they rested over your back and arm.

‘Sorry about that, you know how kids get,’ he chuckled as he let you go, and when he asked about how red you were you quickly blamed it on the sun so you could hide in the shade a safe distance away.

You ended up staying til dark, the food so delicious that you couldn't stop until you were full, and your Caramel Pecan cheesecake was even more delicious as he handed it to you while his wife scowled in the background, jealous over nothing. You knew you'd never make a move on him, seeing him around his family was enough to fully kill the crush, but still you couldn't leave as you sat in the grass and watched horror movies with the rest of his friends once the kids went to bed. The speakers couldn't be too loud, but that didn't stop everyone else as they had a great time, and when you stopped by the pool to enviously check it out, you found yourself splashing along with the others when he pushed you over the edge, jumped in, and encouraged everyone else to join, which they all childishly did.

You didn't hang out outside of shopping, the party would have to be your only exception, but you still had fun with him as you met up in the parking lot every Thursday after that. He shared his favourite recipes with you when you were looking to try something new, and was always ready to grab something off the top shelves for you while you grabbed stuff from the lower ones, bad back he explained after too many spills trying to keep up with the kids. You became close enough to openly talk about your jobs and your weeks, more invitations to parties offered to you every time you met, it seemed he was just really that social, but you found excuses for every one of them to his growing disappointment; you still saw Rita glaring at you when you looked at him, and you didn't want to start anything when your intentions for talking to him were nothing but pure now. 

As you were checking out, he offered for you to join them for movie night, this one would be a smaller gathering in case you didn't like the crowds, and you just laughed and declined as always. ‘It's not the crowds,’ you reassured him as your stuff was rung up, Lester bagging all of his own since you'd let him go first. ‘I'm just… not one for parties in general.’ It was a boldfaced lie, but you'd rather lie to him than get him in trouble with his wife just by being there.

‘It's not a party, it's movie night,’ he insisted, and he held the extra large bag of assorted salty snacks up high to tempt you. ‘C'mon, you told me you had a rough week, one round of cards with my kids will cheer you up, and since it's movie night you can pick your favourite to join the lineup, what do you say?’

That sounded wonderful, if you were to be completely honest, and you just sighed dramatically before grabbing a big bag of chips from beside you to add to your remaining items. ‘What's your family's stance on Stephen King?’ you asked as you pulled out your wallet, and he just grinned widely as the last of his bags was stuffed into the cart.

‘Too scary for me, but my eldest loves him.’

You nearly crushed your poor bag of chips by the time you got to his house on Saturday, a bottle of your favourite soda tucked under your arm as well just in case he didn't have it and so you'd be able to drive home later. It was already starting to get dark since you wanted to give them time to have dinner together despite him saying it started early, and you could already hear a movie going on on the other side of the door as you knocked. You waited a moment as the movie was paused, and a little boy who couldn’t be more than 8 opened up and stared at you before calling back over his shoulder that you were finally there, putting extra emphasis on the ‘finally.’

You heard Lester laugh before he stumbled into view, and he welcomed you in with a bright smile as you held up your chips and drink. ‘You're late! We saved you some dip, had to fight these animals back with a stick to keep them away from it,’ he teased as he brought you to the living room, his kids piled onto the floor with pillows and blankets while a few couples, more of his friends, took up the couches, the loveseat empty and waiting for you. 

‘Daddy, we saw you eat a bunch!’ the boy, apparently his middle child, cried out as he hit his legs while he passed by, his body bouncing energetically on his pillows as he then flopped back down, and Lester just shook his head in denial before reclaiming the spot next to his wife, his youngest going from her lap to his the moment he was settled. The movie was resumed, your chips on your lap as you tried to ignore the heat from Rita's gaze that he somehow didn't notice, and you only got a few in before the middle one noticed you had something different. ‘Did you bring enough to share with the class?’ he asked smartly as he turned and stared up at you from the coffee table, his eyes purely on your chips and those alone.

‘Shaun-’ Lester said warningly, he’d had enough snacks already apparently to not let you enjoy yours, but still you waved him off and held the bag out. He thanked you and grabbed two big handfuls, his eldest, Denise, or Deni everyone called her, glancing over before you just relented and passed it down, ready to try out that dip you almost missed out on instead, one of his friends handing it to you and stealing one final chip's worth before going back to his beer. It was damn good, you could see why it was almost completely gone, and this he did notice as he called your name before a very loud action sequence nearly drowned him out.

‘Want me to make more?’ he asked as you chowed down, and when you shook your head politely so as to not trouble him, everyone else loudly exclaimed, ‘Yes!’ at the same time. ‘Okay, okay, it's Annie’s bedtime anyway,’ he conceded as he stood, the movie not paused this time as he brought his sleeping youngest upstairs. You watched him go in the reflection of the TV stand packed with trinkets and knick knacks and photos before watching the movie, and when he returned he pressed a kiss to Rita's forehead before heading for the kitchen to make more dip. When he returned everyone was instantly ready for more, but he made sure to scoop a fair amount into your bowl before placing it on the coffee table, since you had missed out after all. You thanked him quietly and went back to eating, your chips returned to you before he sat back down, and it was almost criminal how damn good of a combo they ended up being.

You weren't able to get to your movie since you'd arrived so late, but you were promised first dibs for the next one as long as you showed up on time. You promised, and everyone but Rita waved goodbye to you as you headed out, the kids devouring the last of your chips in front of the TV again.

The next Thursday that came around you were running late, a detour from work to Walkers making you come closer to 5:48 than your desired 5:15, but no matter where you looked you couldn't find him. You felt almost disappointed when you remembered that summer vacation had started, he was probably in California by now, and you hoped he was having a good time as you passed by the dessert counter and noticed that slices of Caramel Pecan were now available.

You didn't see him the next Thursday either, but you didn't know how long his vacation was going for, judging on how excited he was it probably wouldn't be for just a few days, and again you hoped he was having fun as you grabbed yourself a new watermelon using the same guide his wife had sent him.

On the third Thursday you felt worried, he should be back by now, but you didn't think it proper to go to his house and see if his car or the family van were there, that felt much too personal for just a 45 Minute Friend. You felt that, but the temptation was strong when you passed by the pasta sauces.

On the fourth Thursday you figured enough was enough, something was wrong, and you piled your food into the back of your car and tried not to speed to his house. His car wasn't there but the van was, maybe he'd had to switch his grocery day to some other time thanks to work, and you felt embarrassed but you'd rather find out from Rita than text him about missing him. You approached the front door and saw lights on inside, but there was something heavy in the air as you raised your hand to knock; there was a lack of happiness radiating from the house, no sounds of the TV drifting through the door, the yard had been cleaned up, something just felt off. 

You took in a deep breath and knocked, and you saw Rita peek through the window's curtains before the door was unlocked. ‘Finally come to collect?’ she snapped as she glared through the gap, and your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out what she meant.

‘What?’

‘You can have him, I'm done with this,’ was all she said before she slammed the door in your face, your confusion turning to concern as you knocked again.

‘Wait, what're you talking about? Is he okay? Are the kids okay?’ you demanded to know, and as soon as you asked about them the door opened once more; her hand slapped you hard across the face, your eyes wide in surprise as you touched your cheek.

‘He doesn't live here anymore, try any of the fleabag motels along the highway,’ she all but yelled before slamming the door again, and you raced back to your car without another word.

You spent the rest of the night looking for him but was unsuccessful, his car nowhere in sight as you checked every motel and hotel on your GPS, the stinging on your cheek not going away as the sun set and darkness swallowed up everything.

You tried to check out the store every night after that, keeping a worried eye out for him as you bought only a couple things so you wouldn’t just be loitering, although it seemed like the dessert counter worker was now used to your friendship. She called out to you as you passed, your eyes scanning every which way as you slowly turned to face her. ‘Haven’t seen him around lately, he feeling alright?’ she asked concernedly, and you could only shrug, you were just his friend, after all.

You kept up your search for a week, Thursday coming by again as your snacks ran out and you did have to get some real food like a real adult, and you were in the middle of turning down the pasta aisle when you saw him standing there and staring at the jar of sauce in his hand. ‘Lester!’ you started to call out in pure relief, but when he heard your voice and turned to you, you only saw the saddest pair of eyes you’d ever seen in your life; the smile was gone, buried underneath the sorrow, he was just barely holding it together, and you ditched your cart right there and you quickly jogged over. ‘Hey, is everything okay? I haven’t seen you in over a month.’

You didn’t want it to sound like you’d been waiting for him, but if it did come across that way he didn’t notice as he looked back down at his wife’s favourite brand.

‘Haven’t had time to come, been trying to secure an apartment from my hotel,’ he confessed, and when he blinked a tear ran down his cheek. ‘Haven’t been very hungry, anyway…’

‘What… I mean, why did-?’ You couldn’t ask it, not when the pieces were starting to fall together, and he didn’t clarify anything as he nearly dropped the jar; you just barely caught it, his hand covering his eyes for just a moment as he bit back a sob, and when you put it back on the shelf you found yourself comfortingly rubbing his back.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come, it’s been so hard since…’

‘It’s okay, do you have a list? I think I remember what you usually get, let me help you,’ you offered, and when he looked at you you felt your heart clench so much your knees nearly gave out. ‘Shopping’s more fun with some company, right?’ He nodded, and you skipped the rest of the aisle entirely as you tried to remember what you’d seen him get in the past. It was slow work, he kept lingering around certain things like the cereal and kid-targeted snacks, your heart hurting more and more the closer you got to the desserts. He didn’t even look at them, and you quickly asked for two slices of Caramel Pecan while he avoided staring at all the chocolate flavours.

He went to pay when you were all done, but he was low on cash, no cards in his wallet to go with them, and you understood that all his money must’ve been going towards the hotel as you pulled out your own wallet. ‘Please, I can’t ask you to,’ he mumbled, but you just placed your hand on his as you forced a smile.

‘What else are friends for?’ you asked, and he silently let you pay as he packed his stuff into as few bags as he could to save you a few cents.

Your groceries were completely forgotten as you then helped him pack them into the trunk of his car, fast food wrappers littering the floor of the backseat, and you didn’t comment on them as he obviously looked embarrassed about it. The sky rumbled as you unloaded the last bag, and you should’ve really run back inside, but you couldn’t leave him as he got into the front seat and just sat there, staring at the wheel. You opened up the passenger door and sat down next to him, his eyes glancing at you before he patted your hand, his thanks just barely out of his mouth before he finally broke down.

He sobbed openly in the privacy of his car as he covered his eyes again, his shoulders shaking and his weeping only enhanced by the rain as it turned from a light drizzle to a storm within moments. You just let him cry, ready to wait until he was able to speak, small waves blown across the pavement in front of you as other people hurried to their own cars, his cart slowly rolling away in the background. It took a while but finally he was ready, and he didn’t look at you as he wiped his eyes and sniffed.

‘Rita asked for a divorce, said she wants full custody,’ he confessed as the thunder roared above, and the pain in your heart turned to a pounding as you felt not sadness but anger overtake you.

‘That’s bullshit!’ you shouted, but you controlled your voice when he recoiled. ‘Sorry, but you’re an amazing father, where the hell did this come from?’

‘She thinks I was cheating on her, wouldn’t even tell me who she thought it was,’ he told you with another sniff, and you felt your cheek sting again as you recalled the look on her face as she slammed the door in yours. ‘I would never, I love- I loved her so much, and my kids-’ He broke down again, and you refused to even attempt to hold yourself back as you leaned over the console and pulled him into your arms. He melted into them, crying on your shoulder as you whispered comfort to him, patted and rubbed his back, his grip on you so hard that it hurt but you didn’t care.

‘I won’t let her do this, you know I work at a law firm, I’ll message everyone I know to help with your case,’ you swore, and he just shook his head against you.

‘Why would they side with me when she tells them what she thinks?’ he mumbled, and you backed up so he’d look at you.

‘Because I know who you are, and I will not let you lose your kids.’

His eyes looked between your own as a single tear fell, and if your crush was still there you might’ve wanted to kiss him, but that wasn’t what he needed. No, you meant every word that you’d said, and you were going to make good on it for him because he was your friend, and you would not ruin this more for him when his feelings were that that mattered right now. You were his friend, and you loved him like that, and he could see that you were serious as he hugged you again but didn’t cry, his voice so broken and soft and unlike the lively energy you’d gotten to know over your grocery trips.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered, and you didn’t nuzzle into his neck as you placed your hand on the back of his head.

‘I don’t have much, but for now I can at least offer you my couch, if you’re tired of hotel rooms?’ you said softly, and when he went to object you just smiled as your own tears fell when you blinked and stared out into the rain. ‘What else are friends for?’ you repeated, and when he sat back to rub his eyes again his smile was there, just barely hidden under the pain; there was your friend, there was Lester.

You didn’t know how this story would end, but you knew that it wouldn’t involve him losing everything, not if you had anything to say about it, that was for damn sure.

[digital-chance]

writeblr intro

hey i'm chance! i've done a writeblr intro recently but i didn't like it, so this is take 2. here's the old one.

─── about me -⋆⋅☆

name : chance

pronouns : they/he

likes : cyberpunk, romance, anime, kpop, music, history, design

age : 20

i tend to swear both on here and in my writing, so if you're sensitive to that, i don't think my blog or work is for you. i also use the word 'queer' a lot since i self-identify as such, when i do choose to self-identify.

i'm interested in so much, which would be impossible to fully state. there are so many new things out there and i love learning about them all!! this blog is mainly for writing but i'm not strict on that.

i also am pretty sure i'm neurodivergent (no diagnosis or anything yet) and tend to delve into hyper-fixations for weeks at a time. if i haven't posted for a while, it's probably because of one of my other hyper-fixations or school.

i'm going to college for my bachelor's in graphic design, which might make my responses during the school year delayed.

i'm always open to ask or tag games!! it might take me a few to respond but i'll respond.

─── writing -⋆⋅☆

you'll find a lot of diverse characters, the found/chosen family trope, romance or rom-com, angst, and references to actual history or historical events within my work. sometimes i throw in a little art fact since i'm an art student. in nearly every one of my works you can find a prominent lgbtq+ character, too.

i write for original works and fanfiction alike. i often alternate what project i'm writing on and tend to leave wips unfinished. there's no one specific fandom that i'm in since i tend to dabble in everything.

i enjoy reading all sorts of stories, but some of the tropes and genres that have a special place in my heart include:

[ genres : romance . action . sci-fi . dystopian . heists . cyberpunk . horror . comedy . mystery ] [ tropes : friends to lovers , enemies to lovers , fake/pretend relationship , college au , coffee shop au , domestic , fluff , angst ]

─── ⋆ looking for ⋆⋅☆

more writers to follow!

good vibes & friends

writing advice & critique buddies (will help critique ur work too)

─── works in progress -⋆⋅☆

nova futurum | original work | #wip: nova futurum

─── ⋆ status : brainstorming

a lgbtq+ mafia cyberpunk story with the working title "Nova Futurum." i've got the general information down and i'm currently working on fleshing out my main characters. for now it's in the very basic stages, but feel free to ask me about it or give any tips!

you still would've been mine | fanfiction | #wip: yswbm

─── ⋆ status : outlining, research, & writing draft 1

Steven "Steve" Rogers wakes up in the 21st century after crashing into the ice in 1942, leaving behind his life as the mascot of the USA along with his childhood in Brooklyn NYC. The Winter Soldier, a man left behind in the war recovers his memories as the man known as James "Bucky" Buchanan Barnes after meeting Steve in the modern time. Steve and Bucky recall their childhood and their experience in the war as they recover.

matchbreakers | original work | #wip: match

─── ⋆ status : brainstorming

xavier works at match breakers. instead of setting people up on blind dates, he goes to dates and breaks up the couple. all sorts of people hire him, disapproving parents, jealous ex's, and those scared to see their ex's angry side. what he doesn't expect is falling in love with one of his own clients.

scars of duty | original work | #wip: sod

─── ⋆ status : plotting

Lucian is a hero who protects the city of Haines and the other members of his hero's league. They're a small-name hero just trying to make do with what they've got. A villain new to the city shows up and shakes Lucian’s perception of their own superpowers and the world.

< tag lists: if you'd like to be added for any project, let me know. i'm not the greatest at remembering the tag list but i will try! >

─── ⋆ more of my socials & my design portfolio

[h-c-u]

Come fly with me, let's fly away...

Summary: You and Ice both like to fly, just in completely different ways. And he finally convinced you to take a jet ride with him.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x fem!reader

W/C: 3.3k

Rating: PG, explicitly stated age gap (19 years). They met for the first time when the reader was 19 (Do I condone that in real life? HELL NO. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BABY).

TWs: None.

A/N: This fic is happening not long after Ice became O-10, he's not married to Sarah, doesn't have any kids, and definitely isn't sick.

Also, the reader is described as really petite, but there are no allusions to ED or food in general; I just wanted that position to work :)

Also Yes, the reader owns her small house with a quite big garden at around 21 without having a job. How and why? Idk, I'm not in her bank account, ask her.

Masterlist | List of tags

- And you're sure it's fine...? You won't get into any trouble...? - You were nervously playing with a strap of his old helmet, he just handed you. Ice just got promoted, and you were still getting used to his new rank. 

- It's not like they can fire me now, dove... - oh that cocky smile that you wanted to rub from his face. Preferably with your fist. Or your own mouth. It didn't really matter, as long as he stopped. - But seriously, we're good. It's a holiday, everyone else is out celebrating, and I've put it as a training exercise, so we're fully covered when it comes to all the paperwork, please don't worry so much, squirrel. - he placed a quick kiss on the top of your head. It wasn't exactly your favorite nickname, but he didn't use it too often, only when he playfully teased you about your not-so-safe hobby. 

Because both of you loved to fly. He was just doing that in a metal can mounted to another can of explosives, and you were... well... Using a thin material to glide. Yet you couldn't help but feel much safer in your wingsuit than inside a jet, that's why it took so long for him to convince you, and right about now, you were seriously rethinking your decision. 

- Relax, dove. - you just couldn't help it. This plane in front of you was basically a killing machine, and even though you loved the adrenaline, you were extremely opposed to conflict and violence, and you sometimes wondered how you ended up with someone in the military, especially that high up.

Well, when you two met he wasn't exactly O-10... He was just promoted to captain. At first, it was supposed to be a rebound-one-night stand with a man literally twice your age (at that time), and on top of that, he was just about to be deployed, so there was literally no chance for a relationship. Yet you still told him you'd like to see him again when he comes back. Which was incredibly stupid and naive, but you were only 19 and he said yes, thinking that you'll forget all about him as soon as you'll meet someone younger while he was gods-know-where, doing gods-know-what.

And you did meet someone. But it fizzled out before it even started. The same thing happened 7 months after you met Ice, and you honestly tried to analyze this whole situation rationally. There were definitely downsides to hooking up with...? dating...? An older man. You weren't even sure what you wanted, so how the hell could you decide if you really wanted it? 

But when you saw him again at the bar, you weren't conflicted. You were just straight-up angry. Because even if he didn't mean it, he did say yes. And it all went quickly downhill from there, well at least for you, because he insisted that you just had to take everything so slowly. He literally didn't allow you to kiss him for four months straight, still hoping that somehow he'll be able to change your mind about him. But you were stubborn, although it was extremely hard for you to be so close to him, without even being able to touch him the way you wanted. There was a lot of pouting, but even more talking and spending time together. Every day after work he helped you in your garden; he even fixed up a shed for you, so the door didn't require a small tank to open and close anymore. 

He taught you many things and told you even more stories. Of course, he couldn't tell you every detail, but it was still nice to hear his voice, and you enjoyed simply watching him doing whatever; didn't matter if it was making pancakes, or working on his plane, as long as he was in your line of sight, you were satisfied. Not in every way, but enough. It took him a full year to realize that you weren't going anywhere. He was already practically living at your house, you put him down as one of your emergency contacts on every possible form, and your cat honestly preferred sleeping on his lap than on yours. And when it hit him, it did with full strength. You weren't even doing anything special... You were just sitting curled up in the giant armchair in his workshop, lazily sketching something in your notebook, and you were getting frustrated because you couldn't get it quite right. He didn't even tell you to come with him, you just showed up around lunch with a spare portion for him, and after you ate, you just stayed there, not even saying anything, because you didn't want to interrupt whatever he was doing. And that's what did it for him... A thing that you did dozens of times over the last year, but this time something in him clicked. 

It's not like he didn't want you with every atom of his body, but Ice-cold always had full control over his basic instincts. But right then and there, he made a conscious decision to do everything in his power to make you the happiest person on earth, and that included finally giving you the relationship you deserved. He of course insisted on never being added on a deed to your house and was very adamant that you'd keep your finances separate, even though he started contributing long before that conversation. He would always push you to explore and learn things on your own and was always there to cheer on you from the first row. And if you'd one day decide that you'd be happier elsewhere, he would let you go. But he didn't have to, because you had eyes only for him...

Even now, almost 7 years after your wedding you were still getting giddy whenever he would hug you or even smiled at you, that's exactly why you found yourself in pilot gear, even though you've never held a flying stick in your hands before. His old helmet was way too big for you, and eventually, he got you another one and that one fit. Even though his stoic presence usually was enough to calm you down, this time it wasn't so easy. It's not like you were afraid of flying; you used choppers in the past to get to the desired altitudes, but this was different. This was a war machine, and you frowned because an unpleasant thought entered your mind... Was this F-22 ever used to kill anyone? 

- Y/N....? - his voice pulled you from your spiral of thoughts, and you rested your gaze on his eyes. - C'mere, dove... - he repeated the request, reaching for your arm to pull you onto the wing he was currently standing on. Sure, he could have let you use a ladder, but this was much more fun. He didn't have any trouble pulling you up with one hand, and you would be lying if you said that his strength didn't turn you on, especially considering all the positions he was to hold you in for long periods of time. 

- And you're sure it's safe...? - you've repeated the question you already asked at least 20 times today. 

- I always managed to come back in those, so I'd say they have a pretty good record... - he said jokingly and started settling in the cabin. He did all the pre-flight checks before you joined him in the pilot seat. You checked earlier, and even with you sitting in front of him, on the same chair, there was enough space for him to reach everything he needed. Before you climbed in, he also loosened the safety belts, so you could fit in them with him, just in case. He didn't plan on doing anything crazy today, but he'd still rather be prepared for anything. - C'mere, dove... - he was done with the checks and was ready to finally take you flying his way. You settled cozily in front of him. It was a tight, but not impossible fit, and if you were being completely honest, you enjoyed having him so close to you... He reached around you and made sure that the emergency oxygen line was connected to your mask, connected your coms to his, and buckled you both in, so everything was properly secured. 

- Tower, this is Iceman, how do you read? - he started following the procedures, and you patiently kept quiet, sitting between his legs. Your compact size definitely had its perks, because at first, you were afraid that he wouldn't be able to see anything if you sat in front of him in a helmet, but fortunately, that wasn't a problem.

- Iceman, Tower, loud and clear, how me? - an unfamiliar voice replied through the comms. 

- Loud and clear. Take-off pre-checks complete. 

- Ready engines start. Iceman, you are clear to taxi. Runway number 2. Winds 21, 0, 10. - you've felt the jet move before you actually saw it moving because Tom was driving it extremely slowly to the designated runway as if he wanted to put you in warm water, so you could get used to it before it starts boiling.

- Fuel check - good. Cabin pressure check - good. Tower this is Iceman, requesting an unrestricted climb to 500 and above. 

- Iceman, the runway and skies are yours. 

- Iceman ready for takeoff. 

- Iceman, Tower. You are clear for takeoff. - you didn't know that, but at this moment he cut his mice on the line to the Tower. 

- You ready, dove...? - he asked, and you nodded. - It's gonna be a bumpy ride for a moment, but as soon as we'll be in the air it will be much calmer... - he informed you and gave you one last hug before he actually started accelerating on the runway. You couldn't help but close your eyes. It was so loud... You felt like the engines were exploding and the nose of the jet was ripping through the fabric of air... It wasn't pleasant, to say the least, and you couldn't imagine doing anything else under those conditions. There were so many systems, and Ice knew them like the back of his hand, and wasn't even looking at the knobs he was flipping, completely relying on his muscle memory. 

But you finally started climbing and you felt yourself melting into the strong body behind you. You were honestly afraid that with added pressure on his chest, he'd have trouble breathing, but he seemed to be doing more than alright. 

- How are you feeling...? - he asked after finally leveling the jet at around 10k ft. 

- Haven't decided yet... - you laughed because the view was amazing, and something you never got to see while wingsuit flying... - It's so loud, I didn't know it was that loud... - you were a little bit overwhelmed by engine and wind sounds and your thoughts weren't fully coherent because of it. 

- To be honest, I've quickly stopped noticing it... But... - he started patting his suit, checking if he still had something in his pockets. And he did. - I have a pair of noise-canceling plugs... I usually use them when I'm near the tarmac because it's always much louder there. They're all yours... - it was hard to properly manouver them under your helmet, especially with gloves, but even though they weren't in all the way, they still were a massive help. - Better? - he asked when you'd stopped fumbling, and you nodded in response. Now his voice was also muffled, but you could still hear him. 

- Are you ready for some gymnastics...? - his voice was giddy, almost as if he was a kid who got exactly what he wanted on Christmas morning and couldn't wait to share that news with his friends. You knew he wouldn't knowingly put you in any danger, so you nodded again. - Hold on tight, dove. - you didn't even know what to hold, so you grabbed his thighs at the exact moment when he did a first screwdriver. It was easy, you knew how to do those, but after that... He was maneuvering the jet in ways you didn't think possible. Dropping and ascending, swirling around imaginary targets, flying upside down... And as soon as your adrenaline kicked in, you couldn't help but laugh at every sudden change of direction. It was like riding a super advanced, super expensive rollercoaster, and you loved rollercoasters. 

You weren't exactly sure how long you were in the air before he leveled the plane again. 

- How about now, dove...? - you knew that he could tell by your laugh that you enjoyed it, but you were more than happy to use your words. 

- It has its perks, I'm not gonna lie... - you laughed again. - I still prefer my wingsuit, because I feel like I have more control. But from now on, I won't say no to an occasional jet ride. - you smiled, even though he wasn't able to see it beaming on your face. 

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he asked, and you honestly weren't sure if you heard him right. 

- What?

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he repeated, apparently being serious. 

- But... - you've started, but he was already moving your hands from his thighs to the stick and covering them with his own. 

- I'm here, and no matter what you'll do, I'll be able to correct it at this height... So I'm gonna ask again. Do you want to take the stick...? - his voice was stoic, even if full of joy. He knew he was good and that even if you somehow managed to put the jet in a complete nosedive, he'd still be able to pull you up in time. And you knew he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your life, so you nodded. - Ok, focus only on the stick, everything else is my job, ok...? - and you nodded again. - It acts basically like a joystick in games. If you want to move left, you move it to the left... - and his hands, still holding yours in them, moved the stick to the left. - If you want to move to the right, you move to the right... - and now you were gently swaying right. - If you want to go up, you pull it toward you... And if you wanna go down, then away... - he demonstrated, and just like that, you were on your own. 

Of course, you were afraid to move at first, you knew perfectly well how much one of those planes cost, and you couldn't help it. 

- Don't be afraid, dove... I'm here... - he repeated, and you finally relaxed a bit, and when your grip on the stick loosened a bit, you were able to feel something more... You tried gently swaying it left and right, and it was easier to do it to the left. Not by much, but you still noticed it. Surprised by your own discovery, you tried to do the same by gently swaying up and down... And it was just a tiny bit easier to go up... 

- I know you're sure that you'll be able to save us if I fuck up, but I need you to say it one more time because I feel like I'm about to do something really stupid. - this time he laughed maniacally. 

- I'm confident I'll be able to save us, dove, even if you'll somehow invade another country in this jet. - he reassured you again. 

- In that case, it's all on you... - you've said on the exhale and tried to feel the winds again. In your wingsuit, it was much easier. Not only because you were directly cooperating with the wind, but also because you had much, much more experience in flying that way. But even though the winds at this height were stronger, they were more or less the same, you just had to learn how to communicate with them and use them through this tin can. - Wait... How do you slow down and speed up...? - you asked when you wanted to match the speed of the winds, but you realized... you didn't know how. Ice laughed and guided your left hand to the correct lever. 

- Forwards - faster, backward - slower. - he didn't have to say much, just happy to observe you trying to find a footing in his world. 

- Ok... Here goes nothing... - you had to hype yourself up a little bit before you actually did any sudden turns... It took you good 20 seconds to finally gather enough courage to slow down enough to match the wind the best as you could. But as you were flying slower, it was easier to feel the direction of the wind, and you were glad for that. You exhaled quickly three times and finally started following the wind current down. It was rough and full of twists and turns, and it took you some time to get used to the controls. You saw Ice flipping some switches when he realized what you were doing, assisting you as best as he could because he never actually encountered anyone who would fly a military jet like that. You took your own technique and applied it to the 600 million-dollar machine, which was definitely... something else. You didn't have any proper training in flying, your head wasn't soaked with all the correct ways to fly a plane, so you took all your personal knowledge and applied it here. 

- Whoah! - Ice was surprised by a sudden drop, because nothing that rough showed up on the wind shear detection, yet you had no issues with just... feeling it. - How did you notice that? - he asked, genuinely surprised. 

- There are patterns... - you mumbled under your nose, still completely focused on the way how the stick felt in your hand. You didn't even notice when you closed your eyes a bit, so you could feel it better, and only after you've finished an unnamed maneuver, you got out of the trans you were usually in while you were flying in the wingsuit. - I mean... Wind behaves a certain way because of changes in pressure. And if you spend enough time relying on it, you kinda start seeing the patterns before you even enter the stream. I know how it sounds, trust me... I don't even know how else to explain it, because it's not something that I was taught during courses... Every instructor just said that you need to learn how to feel and hear it. And up here...? Everything is just... So... Loud... So I heard the change in the sound and followed it. - you tried to explain it as best as you could, but just... couldn't find the right words. You were sure that there was a scientific explanation for all this, but it was much easier to learn how to feel and hear it. 

- Huh... - he sounded curious. - Maybe next time you'll be trying to kill yourself, squirrel, I might actually join you... - he sighed heavily, taking the stick from your hands because you were starting to get lower than he felt comfortable with; there were birds at this altitude, and he would prefer to avoid them. 

- Wait... Are you serious...? - now you were the one who got excited. Usually, he let you have your own things to do. Of course, he was right there with you during your certifications and the numerous qualifications, but he never expressed interest in actually joining you up there. 

- Dead serious, dove... It actually sounds interesting and I would love to learn more about wind currents firsthand. - if you weren't basically tied to a seat with him, you would have jumped from excitement, which would be a poor decision in such a tight space. 

- Iceman, An Admiral, and US Pacific Fleet Commander in a squirrel suit... Can't wait to see it. - he groaned and instantly started regretting even bringing it up. 

- Promise me, you won't tell anyone about this... - you couldn't help but laugh. 

- I promise, I won't... - you didn't say anything about taking pictures though. 

[rocksteadydeadboy]

📻🙾 [charles as ska/punk lyrics] 🙾📻

playlist [ here on youtube ] or on desktop view of this blog! just some random lyrics that remind me of the lad (not 100% ska or punk songs but for the most part!)

[ 📀 for songs i think fit best / my faves, 💿 for the rest lol ]

📀 The Selecter - Washed Up And Left For Dead

[ basically the entire song lol ] but I like these in particular:

He was washed up and left for dead Nobody told him he was just not wanted It got so cold after midnight

Night after night he's out biting the pavement Hurt his hands clapping for the group He can't dance, but he can certainly cause trouble

📀 The English Beat - Tears Of A Clown

[ full lyrics ]

Now if there's a smile on my face It's only there tryin’ to fool the public But when it comes down to foolin’ you Now, honey, that's quite a different subject

📀 X-Ray Spex - Germfree Adolescents

[ full lyrics ] a song for edwin!

I know you're antiseptic Your deodorant smells nice I'd like to get to know you You're deep frozen like the ice

[His] phobia is infection [He] needs one to survive It's [his] built-in protection Without fear [he'd] give up and die

📀 Amanda Lear - Follow Me

[ full lyrics ] tbh just here so i could have a song for the cat king. entire lyrics apply i love this song

I'll sell you dreams and new desires, I'm trading hopes, I'm open late

Unbelievable, maybe / You'll have a new identity For a second of vanity, I want to change your destiny

I'll give you wings, I'll sell you fame, merry-go-round maybe to Hell I am the key to your problem, so follow me, just follow me

📀 The Specials - Hey Little Rich Girl

[ full lyrics ] a song for crystal (and david the demon)

You left for London When you were nineteen Had to pull off your nice clothes Just living on dreams A man in the bright lights Took all that you own Now he's taken your freedom For a fate unknown

📀 The Business - Another Rebel Dead

[ full lyrics ] another charles gets murdered song :(

They say he killed himself But it was someone else His name was on their list And now he don't exist He didn't stand a chance Upon his grave they dance They were determined to blow him out

📀 Madness - It Must be Love

[ full lyrics ] another edwin song codependent king

As soon as I wake up every night, every day I know that it's you I need to take the blues away

I've got to be near you every night, every day I couldn't be happy any other way

📀 The Specials - It Doesn't Make It Right

[ full lyrics ] 'these cases have to matter', etc

Just because you're nobody It doesn't mean that you're no good Just because there's a reason It doesn't mean it's understood

It doesn't make it alright It doesn't make it alright It's the worst excuse in the world And it, it doesn't make it alright

💿 X-Ray Spex - I Can't Do Anything

[ full lyrics ] this one is a bit on the nose

I can't read / And I can't spell / I can't even get to hell I can't love / And I can't hate / I can't even hesitate

💿 The Toasters - Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down

[ full lyrics ] mostly here for vibes

I'm living in a world where I don't really fit Every day walking through the same old shit I'm gonna get my gun, gonna get prepared I'm not impressed and I'm not scared

💿 Fishbone - Everyday Sunshine

[ full lyrics ] a bit of a niko song as well

I wish everyday the sun would shine Take me to another place in my mind Where everything is beautiful

If we could fly away on wings To a place where all could be true And the skies were blue And love was true

💿 Special Interest - Don't Kiss Me In Public

[ full lyrics ] charles & crystal song #CuteDistraction

Why don't you kiss me in public? And smear your lipstick all on my cheek Boo hoo won't cry for heartless cinema Boo hoo don't cry for you and me

💿 Angelic Upstarts - Never Return To Hell

[ full lyrics ] another overly literal pick lol

Never return to hell Hey boys, quite enough to fulfill the final blow One day all your games will come to an end

💿 Tamar-kali - Boot

[ full lyrics ] another charles & crystal song, i just like this line

She is sweet tasting fruit whose juice is bitter tears

💿 The Oppressed - Do Anything You Wanna Do

[ full lyrics ] mostly for the vibes

Why don't you ask them what they expect from you ? Why don't you tell them what you're gonna do You get so lonely, maybe it's better that way It's not you only, 'cause you got something to say Do anything you wanna do

💿 Angelic Upstarts - Never 'Ad Nothin'

[ full lyrics ] also just here for vibes!

I'm gonna go up in a puff of smoke I wanna go up in a puff of smoke (2x) If I'm goin' out I'm takin' some of you fucks with me!

💿 The English Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom

[ full lyrics ] that's right another codependent payneland song

Mirror in the bathroom, please talk free The door is locked, just you and me Can I take you to a restaurant that's got glass tables? You can watch yourself while you are eating

💿 The Specials - Do Nothing

[ full lyrics ] lastly! another depressing one lol. perhaps charles thoughts on being dead in ep 4

They're just living in a life without meaning I walk and walk, do nothing They're just playing in a life without thinking They talk and talk, say nothing I'm just living in a life without feeling

[blooming-violets]

Hi! This isn't a request but how do you think Peter would react to reader being a Funeral Director? Let's say it's like a blind date (set up by Auntie May ofc). Im asking because a good amount of your fics that you write with Peter revolve around death- weather it being Ben's, Gwen's, and/or what he see's around just being Spider-Man.

Lol this is coming from someone who's about to get their license to become a f.d if you couldn't tell :)

omg over a decade ago i used to roleplay with an oc who was my dark humored, lil goth queen and she was studying to become a funeral director and even though it was so long ago, once an oc, always an oc. she still lives up in my brain with the rest of every other character i've ever created in my life time. i'm going to channel her energy into my soul for this one

Ok, so! I love this.

(using gender neutral "they/them" for this character)

This might sound slightly gruesome but I'm going with it! May is getting a little older in age. Nothing crazy but she's a realist and she wants to be extra prepared when it's her time to go because she doesn't want to burden Peter with such things. She knows what it's like to go through the entire process of burying a dead loved one when you are in the middle of the worst grief of your life. She doesn't want Peter to have to make any of those choices like where to go and what casket to chose. She's a planner and is going to keep nurturing her boy even after death.

Soo she starts doing the rounds of looking into funeral homes, types of caskets, potential flower arrangements, details for the service, how she wants her body to be prepared...she's got it all figured out and in a binder with laminated pages. And she's having the time of her life doing all this because any chance to pull out some stationary is a good day in her book.

Peter freaks when he finds out because that's his girl and he refuses to let her die ever. But she calms him down by reminding him that death can happen to anyone, at any time, and she wants to be prepared for him. All he will have to do is hand over this binder to the director and they can do the heavy lifting so he can just take time to grieve. He's still not happy about it. Aunt May will never die. He doesn't even want to entertain the idea that it's a possibility even twenty years from now.

But then she throws in a lil twist.

"Oh, by the way, Peter...you have a date next Saturday night. I set you up with the director of the parlor. They were just lovely! So accommodating, so funny, absolutely gorgeous, not anything like I was expecting. I told them I had a nephew who was single. Showed them a picture of you. You know that picture I took last summer of you at the beach eating a Ninja Turtle popsicle next to the ice cream truck? I just love that picture...reminds me of when you were a boy...anyway, they agreed to meet up with you! Isn't that wonderful?"

And he's standing there speechless and mortified because only Aunt May would start prematurely planning for her death and then go around showing embarrassing, shirtless pics of him to his potential suitors...who are also helping her plan for her death. He tries to refuse to go but it's May and you can't say no to her. She will always win.

She picks out his best outfit for him and makes sure he's all dolled up (also to be sure he actually goes through with the date and doesn't bail).

He's shocked at how young and attractive they are when he meets them. Even though May insisted they would be a good match, he still was picturing some creepy old, sickly pale, skeletal man wear a dark suit. He's been dating a bit lately but nothing really sticks. This date feels different. He starts off by making a dark joke about dating the person who's going to bury his (still very much alive) aunt. Which gets a laugh from the both of them. They start in on how lovely it was to meet her and how she brightened up the house when she came for a meeting. And Peter talks about how baffled he was to find out she was even doing all that in the first place. He would have gone with her or been more than willing take care of everything. But they insist that May was adamant on doing it on her own. Peter asks a lot of questions on why they would ever want to go into this line of work but they just laugh it off. They're helping people, even after death. Helping their loved ones have the best final goodbye they can have.

The first date flows smoothly. They both try to avoid the death talk after the first few minutes and keep things light and happy. Peter is unknowingly smitten at the time but finds that once he goes home for the night, he can't stop thinking about them.

A second date is soon to follow. And a third. And fourth. And so on until they are officially dating.

I think as they get more comfortable with each other and open up to each other more, Peter will start to reveal how badly of a relationship he has with death. Reader has a healthy outlook on it. They don't mind taking care of the dead. They enjoy being able to provide that kind of service. Nothing really turns their stomach at this point. Peter can't remember much about his parents or their funerals, Uncle Ben's was a blur, and Gwen's is blackened out from his memory. It really upsets him to picture Reader doing any kind of body preparation. He keeps having intrusive thoughts about them working on Gwen's corpse and it kinda fucks him up. (They obviously weren't the one's who did that but his mind is putting the two people he cares about together without reason). Sometimes it makes it hard for him to look at them. It causes tension in the relationship. He starts to resent that they do that job. He think that they are "better than that" and they should leave that sort of job to someone else. He thinks it's gross and upsetting.

Reader would take massive offense to that. They love what they do. It's very important to them. Peter keeps not being able to hear what they're saying and is throwing his own uncomfortable attitude into the mix. They represent death to him and he hates death. Almost like they're a constant reminder of everyone he loved who has died. Cue the climaxy fight part where they separate for a bit in order for the growth to happen. Peter goes off to sulk and eventually ends up on May's doorsteps like a lost, sad puppy.

He'd need to go have a heart to heart talk with her about why he feels so uncomfortable dating someone who is so close to death. She'd talk about his past traumas, losing so many loved ones, and how he never allowed himself to put those people to rest. That's what Reader does. They helps other's put their loved one's to rest. And that frightens Peter because he's afraid of letting go. They represent someone who is at peace with themselves and Peter is living in a constant state of turmoil. In order to love properly again, he has to let go of the past. Reader can become a healthy path forward but only if Peter is able to cut off the baggage that is holding him back.

He'd let that talk sink in for a few days until he finally crawls his way back to their home with a box of their favorite chocolates (not flowers because they've seen enough flowers to last them their entire life time). He's met with nothing but a gentle smile and open arms. He'd open up to better explain himself to them so they can understand where he's coming from and see into his past. It's a healing moment for him to overcome.

Over time he'd warm up more and more to the idea of them working so closely to death. They both like to lighten any dark moods with some terrible jokes and dumb comments. A lot of silly ghost/ haunting talks. A lot him questing them about things. Like if guys can get an erection after death. Or what exactly is embalming fluid (bc he likes science-y things). And trying to find out the craziest things they ever experienced while working. They have endless stories to share so there's never a dull moment.

And when they finally find out about Mr. Parker and his big, giant Spider-Man secret, they threaten Peter that he better never end up on their table or else they'll mutilate his corpse by cutting off his dick and keeping it in a jar. (too dark? lmao not for them!)

Peter loves it. It makes him feel loved.

[bullet-prooflove]

Passenger Princess Prompt List

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also read the rules and do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

I ain't heard you laugh like that in a long time

He fuckin' up my headboard, so I'm on my knees like "Dear lord, please pray for me"

I don't got a single problem with provocative

So, don't call in the morning 'Cause I'll already be gone

Give him one kiss, just softly, tease him 

So I'ma love you every night like it's the last night

Well, I'm sorry if I'm oversteppin' boundaries I don't mean to be, but I've just got to tell you how I feel

Why can't you love me like I need you to?

Have my way with him like that

Like the stars are in the sky You and I will find each other 

Smoky, dark, crowded room,

Say you're all mine, touch me under streetlights

I wonder if you stopped his world like you did mine just now

And our love is the only war worth fighting for

'Cause girl, it's just a matter of time until you find That the right guy's starin' you back into your eyes, right now

I know what you did last night I called you up and you declined

Nobody's promised tomorrow

'Cause you already know what you mean to me

Butterfly that's on my wrist, put your hands on me like this

Under pink light in June

I'm cut like a diamond shinin' in the rough

I smell perfume, but it ain't mine

If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you

Now I’m alive if my man is halfway dead

Tell me, how you gonna hurt the one that loves you the most?

Like the nickel on strings and your good old Gibson guitar

Come on, take a ride with me

I burn for you And you don't even know my name

If you asked me to I'd give up everything

Tears rolling down your face when I walked out that door

You pull me in and touch my neck, and now I'm dying

If he ain't holdin' you tight, if he ain't treatin' you right I'm gonna be the first one callin' him crazy 

But there was one night that I’ll never forget

I'll love you for life

Promise you’ll be my last mistake, 

Put it into drive (Uh, uh-uh-uh) Up and down my thighs 

If you ever lost someone that you love

Like the smoke and the drawl every now in the way you talk slow

I'm your favorite fantasy

Boy, I ain't the same girl I was before

If you come from where you come, then you were born tough

Pull the trigger on the gun I gave you when we met

We've been talking 'bout forever since we been together

A problem child, I was rough

If there's nothin' missin' in my life Then why (why, why?) Do these tears come at night?

But what do you do with a difficult grownup?

But you can't cure a broken man or mend his gun-hot hands

Can you feel my heartbeat? When you hit it full speed 

But I can't help it that I can't take my eyes off of you

Boy, you had your chance

More drunk on power than on liquor

He drippin' down on my bustier like ice cream

If he ever singles you up, if he's ever stupid enough I'm gonna be the first one callin' you baby

You should be mine for life, I'll be signing

And I told everybody I was fine for a whole damn year

No, I don't wanna sit and talk

[megamikmini]

My dream redesigned Slenderman with the most BOMB design choices I've ever seen: an analysis of key character points and how a subconscious thought blew every design I've ever seem out of the water

I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that people don't really take this design anywhere. It's the same blank white face, suit, and sometimes you can throw in a splash of color with a red tie

But all that changes with this design.

Boys.... we've missed out on so much potential it's CRAZY

Key point 1: blank face. In my dream he came from a distance, and as I have bad vision he looked just the same as usual (I dream about the dude a concerning amount. A lot of the time, as with this one, I spend the dream constantly keeping an eye out for him, making plans of escape or spots to hide, until the end where I get chased into a corner and the dream ends. Of course, some of them are like "yo! It's my boss!👉👉" ) but back on topic: he got closer to me and as I scramble realizing I'm caught in a corner I turn around and... it's not a pale blank slate. It's a man, pale skin, tall, in a suit and tie, sure, but -- it wasn't an artificial pale. It was a real person, and he had intricate, white lace ribbon wrapped around his shaved bald head, covering his features (not everything) very purposely. It was ornate, definitely intentional. Then, like you take off earings before a fight, he took them off

Part 2: no eyes, always watching. He had actual human features underneath. Something in dream me knows he was white Egyptian, but most notably staying true to character, he had no eyes. Instead of them just being missing, with skin laying over where they were supposed to be, they were instead simply missing, like regular, underdeveloped eyes! I'll try and find a photo. It was very obvious he could see, because at this point I chucked the ice in my drink at him and it kind of force fielded off, so I threw the cup at him and he caught it and looked at me like I was an idiot XD Anyways, point being dude could see - well - and he had full intention of bashing my head in

Part 3: asshole attitude. Yes, slenderman is your dad and yada-yada, but that's fannon, and I'm talking about cannon. This is the guy who ruined Kate's life from day 1, chasing her down and making her go slowly insane until she broke. Same with CR. Same with Charlie, and the whole Matheson family for that matter. And that's just from one game! We could look at Marbel hornets and the Operator, with Alex being led around like a puppet even after his girlfriend is killed, he's stalked into oblivion, and has his mind distorted until he believes the only think he can do is off everyone he's ever cared about to "cure the sickness". That's one guy out of SO MANY in that whole series who's life was decimated by this dude. And dream Slenderman, redesign and all, lived up to the potential.

I spent the entire dream, with different plot points, adventures, people to meet, etc all just waiting for this guy to turn up. Every time I was alone I'd check my back. Every chance I got I'd arrange stuff to find a box, plant, or open door to dissappear behind. And yet, he found me, backed into a corner without a way out. Most dream slendermen kind of just appear there, look menacing, then I get brain-fried or whatever else. This guy had intention. This guy was power walking at me, full speed, ready to physically beat me for whatever I did. Taking off his decoration so I could watch his face and know he was serious

Crazy! 10/10 would experience again

[theatrekidenergy]

I think it's so cool that you're a figure skater. How did you get into that? I've debated it myself, but I'm disabled so I'm unsure if I should attempt it or not, lol, but those who can do it have always impressed me and seemed extremely magical. There's no need to answer this if you're uncomfortable, obviously, I'm just curious :)

I just realized I’ve left this in my inbox for so long I’m so sorry man 😭 /gen

1. Thank you so so much! That means a lot to me.

2. How I got into it and my process:

Essentially the way I got into it was that one day I went to an ice rink with my cousin, fell many times, and loved every second of it. That’s what sparked it. I got home with a new hyperfixation that had formed nearly spontaneously and started researching like crazy, it was all I could think about for about 2 weeks before my mom caved in and bought me a very beginners lesson which I passed the first day and went to the second level. (Keep in mind, it’s not needed to commit to buying skates for quite a while! I didn’t buy skates until having had skates for nearly 4 months)

From there I flew through levels pretty fast, and became friends with someone who I now consider to be my absolute best friend. 4 months into skating, right after I bought my first skates, my coach who had taken me under her wing particularly decided to have me perform in a show, The Nutcracker. Was I terrified? Absolutely. But, I was in a group of other skaters and it taught me loads of fundamentals of skating, and performance. I highly recommend taking any chance to do shows like this, especially during the winter months which have great help for beginners and advanced skaters alike. After the nutcrackers my coach skipped me multiple levels into a higher up program.

I’ve been skating for nearly a year now and have competed in countless small programs in my city as well as two different competitions on a regional level and will be in a duet in a show this august as well as a soloist in a huge show this winter.

3. Disability wise: Personally speaking I have fibromyalgia and hEDS, and I’ve talked to my doctors multiple times about the safety of it for me and they’ve all passed it off as okay, plus being on the ice all the time essentially functions as a full body ice pack which feels like heaven if you have chronic pain. Please, before you start skating talk to your doctor and physical therapist about if it would be a good choice for you. I was not diagnosed when I started skating but was in a lucky enough position to be able to continue as well as being encouraged by my doctors to continue it; however, not everyone is going to be the same and it’s important to talk to your doctor about it as you become more advanced for your own safety.

Also, don’t be afraid to tell your coaches and community about your diagnosis! In fact, lots of skaters I know have some kind of a disability, and many of the staff have the ability to give certain accommodations on ice depending on the rink you skate at.

4. A bit of encouragement: Believe me, progress is possible and everyone works at their own pace, there is no shame in being a beginner and I promise you figure skaters are some of the sweetest communities you can be a part of, if you ever need any help I’ve never once had a more experienced skater be rude or even passive aggressive. I hope you decide to make the leap to figure skating, it has helped me so much and I hope it can do the same for you. I hope you have a fantastic day / night and I’m wishing you luck!