#'off the record'

[carefulfears]

top 5 Skinner line deliveries?

agent scully......if i'm carrying marilyn monroe's purse.......do you assume that i slept with JFK?

(with mulder in a headlock) are we FINISHED, agent mulder? are we DONE? we're DONE.

we're not even yet, boy. (shaking krycek by the back of his jacket like a cat)

i know mulder. he'd get to a phone and call first. he wouldn't do anything crazy. (silently withers under the glare scully is giving him) ....not overly crazy.

agent mulder, that's enough. i don't want to hear another WORD out of you. (5 seconds later: forced to check mulder into a psych ward)

[blueskittlesart]

i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring

[starbuck]

i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’

[filmnoirsbian]

I find your lack of whimsy disturbing

[chloesimaginationthings]

Abby finally meets FNAF game Michael Afton

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

[andstuffsketches]

finally watched Reign of the Supermen

[cracklewink]

Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5

The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )

[bigfatbreak]

Does Chloe tone down her direct bullying/harassment of Marinette after that day to just the dead mom jokes out of guilt, or is it more that Marinette now being homeschooled means Chloe just lost access? Also, does Lila try the whole lying/sabotaging thing on Marinette and just fail or does Marinette just not care?

Lila has no reason to sabotage Marinette because Marinette isn't threatening her little empire she wants to build. In fact, she really wants Marinette on her side BECAUSE she's not apart of the school, so she doesn't need to keep up an elaborate web of lies! She can just try to befriend a talented girl who makes AMAZING food and try to get freebies~

meanwhile, with Chloe, things got really complicated after the pool incident...

Tom was not in the mood to put up with this crap.

[silvermoon424]

Idk why the Pokemon Company hasn't done something like Nintendogs but for Pokemon. Or really just any game that focuses on raising and living with Pokemon in a chill, relaxed environment instead of focusing so much on battling.

Give me a game where I adopt a baby Eevee and get to guide its evolution without battling being involved!

[skinnyscottishbloke]

Trump literally said this tonight. At this point I don’t give a flying fuck how you feel about VP Harris, we all need to get up off our asses and vote to stave off fascism cause it’s fucking here. HE DOESN’T WANT US TO VOTE ANYMORE. EVER.

PS this doesn’t mean we can’t have fun organizing and canvassing for her, I just want us to stay laser focused and determined and know what we’re up against. One of the Kamala Harris for the People campaign slogans in 2019 was #joyfulwarrior and I just feel like that sums up her and us so well. So let’s fucking go WIN this thing and send orange shitler into hiding once and for all.

[edwinisms]

george rexstrew deserves awards for many things but i have to say. edwin’s bloodcurdling scream as niko gets killed deserves a whole award unto itself. like. that scream did not feel at all like a tv show scream. to a somewhat jarring degree. and i can’t express how much I respect that

[dammjamboy]

for my stanrickers out there

[egophiliac]

...okay, one more, because Epel's white rabbit outfit is SENDING me. everyone in this event looks like a decadent little pastry and I want to eat them all.

(credit: lace stock)

[tonycries]

Gojo would 10,0000% find out where Nanami worked pre-comeback to jujutsu. Y'all know Formation B, but get ready for the public nuisance that is Formation A.

He'd show up right outside the building like the lil' shit he is with a big bouquet of flowers with tears running down his face. Not even for any particular reason, because he just-so-happens to be bored and this is a regular Tuesday for him. Putting on a WHOLE oscar-awarding winning act just bawling and grovelling on the ground, YELLING at the top of his lungs for everyone to hear, BEGGING Nanami to take him back and that "it's okay that he slept with Gojo's grandma."

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i think it would be funny if people occasionally arose from the dead. like if that was a real-life one-in-a-million but well-documented Thing That Sometimes Happens, and the entire legal system around death (laws on inheritance & marriage & murder etc) had to include caveats for the unlikely-but-scientifically-possible event that the dead person in question might spontaneously self-resurrect, even years or decades after death. it would raise so many inconvenient and absurd possibilities