#( what’s this dash even like now i’ve been on holidays )

[atticrissfinch]

I’ve Got My Red Dress on Tonight | (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)

Part 5 of Meet Me in the Back

pairing: sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader summary: When your Valentine's Day date doesn't show, you decide there's one person who would be happy to see you. warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] age gap (no specifics), drug use (marijuana), daddy!kink, fingering (vaginal and....anal!!!), v brief foot fetish, squirting, praise!kink and degradation!kink (use of slut/whore), unprotected PIV, creampie, some ~touching in public, smoking, taking pictures mid-coitus, really nasty gross fluff i'm sorry about it. lemme know if i forgot something i gotta go fast i wanna post word count: ~7.8k jesus christ | ao3a/n: much thanks for the anon who suggested a V Day fic for these two <3 Thank you to my love Iris @papipascalispunk for making sure my commas and em-dashes are where they're supposed to be. ALSO. Chloe, resident sleazy!joel expert, wrote a little drabble inspired by Joel in this fic!! Please check it out after you've read this chapter! The Sighting by ChloeAngelic <3 Divider by @saradika-graphics ❤️ Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow @atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic! Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi

The dress feels ungodly tight, but you had figured it would be worth it. 

It wasn’t. 

In fact, the dress hasn’t seen anything but the inside of your apartment. 

Your hair was done just the way you love it, you pulled out all the stops with your makeup, and you had squeezed yourself into this glittery, red mini dress that makes your tits look stunning, which you bought just for this night. 

You’d been out with Brent twice before, and even though you’d thought it was a little early in your “relationship” for a Valentine’s Day dinner, when he asked to “make it a special night” for you, you agreed. The last thing you wanted was to be alone on this godforsaken holiday. 

Well, at least he’d had the courtesy to give you twenty minutes' notice that he was bailing on you instead of just leaving you waiting on your couch wondering if he would come at all. 

Now you’re just waiting on your couch, wondering what the fuck to do. 

You open your messages on your phone and swipe away from your broken plans. The next thread under it is Joel’s. 

Joel: i swear 2 god i saw one tho

You: you did not see a UFO, Joel 

Joel: yes i did!!! it was way the hell up there flashin its lights!!! saw it clear as day!!!

You: that was most definitely just a normal plane, old man. Turn off Ancient Aliens once in a while. 

Joel: ur gonna be real sorry wen im FAMOUSS for findin the first REAL aliens 👽 🛸 

You: I’m sure I will be

Joel: u can make it up 2 me by flashin me them headlights of urs again 😈

Joel: honk honk 😈

You: Bye 🙄 😒

Joel: 👅

A smile tugs at your lips as you read through the conversation from earlier this evening. You hadn’t told him about the date. Or dates, rather. If this one had gone well, you might have. If things wound up back at your place and actually moved a step toward something. 

You deflate against the back of your couch. Because there’s nothing now. Just you, your suffocating dress, and your stupid heels. The vicious claws of insecurity start to scrape at the back of your neck. 

Brent didn’t want you. You weren’t good enough. You’re not good enough for anyone.

Tears prick at your eyes and you dab them with the side of your finger to keep your mascara intact, following it up with some deep breaths and your head tipping back between your shoulders, forcing the tears back into your skull.  

That’s not true, you recite to yourself. You know there’s always someone who’s happy to see you. 

Another deep breath. 

Someone who would be dead on his feet seeing you dressed like this. 

On your next breath you’re already shimmying out of your panties and checking the mirror to make sure no one is getting a free show who doesn’t deserve it. 

You scurry as quickly as you can to your car, shivering so fiercely it feels like your goddamn pussy has goosebumps from being exposed like this. You weather through it, chanting in your head some quote you heard about how hoes never get cold. 

When you get to the gas station, you scamper from your car into the store, shuddering when the heat hits you once you open the door. You tug your dress down and glance around, not immediately seeing Joel anywhere. He’s not at his usual spot, parked behind the counter. You venture further into the shop, peering down the aisle. 

“Evening,” someone says just behind you, and you jump, whirling around. 

It’s not Joel. It’s some other schmuck with a scraggly, graying ginger beard and a crooked, lumpy nose. His smile is friendly enough, but it lacks that trademark sleaziness that typically oozes from the person you’re accustomed to seeing man the store. His name tag reads Walter. 

“Evening,” you squeak out, cringing and clearing your throat when your voice spills out much higher pitched than you expected. You tug on your dress again. 

“Help you with anything?” he asks, and you’re relieved to find his gaze holding steady on yours, not drifting elsewhere despite the swathes of skin on display in your chosen outfit.

Joel wouldn’t even be able to begin to know where to fucking look, your mind provides, and you find yourself trying to come to terms with the apparent fact that… Joel isn’t here. 

He isn’t here – on Valentine’s Day. 

“I’m, um…I’m actually looking for Joel?”

Walter’s eyebrows shoot up, then fall into a furrow. “He been hiring on the clock again? Goddamn it, I told him not to fucking do that anymore,” he mutters, shaking his head down at the floor before looking back up at you. “Miss, I’m real sorry, I know you’re doing honest work and all, but I can’t have that shit here.”

It takes a moment for you to fully register what he’s saying, but when you do, your eyes go wide. “Oh, sir, I’m not— you’ve got— no, no. I’m just a friend of Joel’s.”

“I'm sure you are, Miss, but I—”

“I’m not a prostitute,” you insist under your breath, glancing around to ensure no one is in the vicinity. “I swear to god, I just had a date tonight, or I was going on a date, and then I wasn’t, and— I swear, I’m just dressed for a date. A normal date.”

You’re not sure your frantic insistence has Walter very reassured, but he just nods, a skeptical look in his eye. “Well, in any case, he’s not here. He’s got the night off.”

“Got it. Okay, thank you,” you say, wincing a little at the palpable awkwardness. You rush past him to leave, your heels clicking loudly, and apparently, whorishly, across the floor. 

“Stay safe out there, honey,” Walter calls after you. 

Your car is blessedly still harboring warmth as you clamor back inside and start the engine. You catch your breath and mull over what to do next. 

He wasn’t there. On Valentine’s Day. You feel like that can only mean one thing. Something squiggles and squirms in your belly at that thought. 

You have one more shot, and you take it, speeding off toward the outskirts, hoping you can go fast enough to drown out the weird feeling in your stomach. 

—

His truck is there. And it’s alone in the gravel next to his trailer. 

You see light through his weeping blinds, a warm yellow glow accompanied by periodically flickering colors that you assume is his television. A good sign, you think. 

The wind whips around your bare legs as you climb his steps carefully in your stilettos, staring up to admire the waxing gibbous moon shining absurdly bright against the speckled black sky. You lean against the dilapidated railing of his tiny porch in front of his door. The sky is never this bright where you live. It fills you with a sort of warmth. Comfort. You hear the distorted sound of voices on his television and the faint aroma of weed seeping out the frame of his door. 

You don’t hear anyone else. 

So you knock. 

You hear a nasty cough from the other side of the door and the volume of the TV ticking down. The door swings open and you’re hit in the face two-fold—with a wall of smoke and a wall of bare-chested man. 

Joel blinks and squints reddened eyes as he blocks the entire doorway, billows of haze attempting to escape around him to the fresh air. Then recognition glows in his eyes and his gaze drifts. Up and down. And his jaw goddamn drops. 

Your arms clasp at your back as you rock on your teetering heels. 

“Hi.”

Joel crams his eyes shut again, shaking his head like a dog like he’s trying to clear a fog over his vision. But he opens them again, and you’re still standing there, and he expels a long, narrow breath through his lips. 

“Jesus fucking Christ. This is heaven, right? Or— jesus— fuckin’…hell, in that devil of a dress,” he shakes his head again, slower, more like disbelief, and a smile pushes at your mouth. “You just showin’ up on my doorstep? Dressed like that? I must be fuckin’ dead.”

You temper your broadening grin, reining in your utter delight at receiving exactly the reaction you were craving. “So, you’re saying me, weed, and…” you crane your head to peek at his television, “And SVU is your idea of heaven?”

“Damn near fuckin’ close,” he says, a reverence about his tone as he drinks you in gratuitously. He pulls himself out of his stupor and hurriedly gestures inside. “Jesus, sweetheart, come in. Gotta be freezin’ your gorgeous tits off out there.”

His hand falls to the small of your back as he ushers you inside, the sweet tang of his evening stress relief burning stronger in your nostrils in his living room. 

Joel shuts the door behind you both and lets out a sharp whistle. “Sweet Mary Mother’a God. That fuckin’ ass,” he mutters under his breath. 

You peer your head around your shoulder to take in the sight of him, just as he does you. One hand frozen against the door, soft belly poking out over the hem of his sweatpants, dark hair sweeping over the curve of it and up his chest. And, of course, that fucking tent at his crotch, growing larger by the second. 

“Be still my fuckin’ heart – the hell are you doin’ here in that, darlin’ girl?”

Your cheeks begin to heat. 

He’s never said it like that. Darlin’ girl. It’s usually some iteration of one or the other, but never together. 

Darlin’ girl. 

You fill in a blank for yourself — unintentionally, but so fucking naturally. 

My darlin’ girl. 

Where your stomach was squirming, it now flutters. You swallow it down. Pull your mind back. You just want to feel wanted. That’s why you’re here. 

Then he’s at your back, pressing all of him against you. The softness of his torso, the scratch of his facial hair, the hardness of his cock. Planting feathery kisses along your neck with teasing bites. 

A giggle bubbles up your chest and you free up more of your neck for him to devour. “I’m here to see the stupid aliens, you dumbass.”

His lips pause on your neck. “Oh yeah?” he mumbles against your skin. 

“Yeah,” you laugh lightly, “Where’s your flying saucer? Your flashing lights?”

Joel’s hands sweep up your sides and cup your breasts through your dress, squeezing them tight in his grip. “Right fuckin’ here, baby,” he growls into the underside of your jaw, “Let me turn ‘em on for ya.”

You throw your head back with another easy laugh and you feel the shape of his smile against your cheek as he massages your covered tits. 

“Mmmm,” he hums, rocking his hips against your ass, his massive length nestling and sliding between your cheeks over your dress. “Come smoke a bowl with me. ‘N then tell me why you’re dressed like living sin in my living room.” 

“How about you just fuck me,” you sigh, tangling your fingers into Joel’s hair and holding his lips to your neck. 

“‘Cause I wanna stare at you in this dress a little while longer ‘fore I rip it to fuckin’ shreds,” he says, his words increasingly muffled by the exposed skin of your spaghetti-strapped shoulder. 

A shiver trembles down your spine and you take a steadying breath. “Okay. Then you better detach before all that shit goes out the window.”

Joel takes a deep breath and rolls his forehead over your shoulder with a moan. “Smart. You’re so goddamn smart. So goddamn pretty. Got my Peter pipin’ up a storm down there.”  

You roll your eyes and will yourself forward, toppling onto his sagging couch with him trailing along behind and groaning as he sinks into it. 

Your hands go to the straps on your heels and you begin to unfasten when you hear a definitive nuh-uh. You glance up and Joel’s eyes are fixated on your blood-red satin heels. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare.”

“Really?”

“Really. Those naughty fuckers stay on,” he orders, and you have no choice but to let your hands fall away. 

“Okay, then.”

Joel’s tongue darts out to wet his lips briefly. “Shit. Alright. Where the fuck was I?”

Joel busies his hands – his focus – with topping off the contents in the bowl of his bong. He graciously offers it to you. 

“Light it for me?”

Joel smirks and flicks his lighter as he holds the glass contraption steady. 

Once you’ve taken a healthy puff, Joel sets the devices aside and crooks a finger under your chin, coaxing you forward. The burn curls in your throat as you hold the smoke. Joel’s nose traces a delicate line down your cheek before hovering his parted lips over your mouth and tracing his thumb over your painted red lip, smearing the color down your chin. 

“Let it out,” he mutters, his heavy, rosey stare shimmering into yours. 

The smoke cascades from between your lips into Joel’s waiting mouth where he inhales it with practiced ease, holding it for a moment before exhaling the remnants of it over your face with a lazy smile. 

“So fuckin’ sweet spillin’ outta that mouth, little Sugarplum,” he croons, continuing to futz with the color on your lips. 

You wrinkle your nose at him and laugh. “Dude, you’re so fucking high right now, my asshole would probably taste sweet.”

“It does,” Joel drawls, rolling your bottom lip down and watching it snap back up. “I got first-hand ‘xperience. Or…first…mouth…” Joel’s train of thought floats off from there as his eyes transfix on your lips. 

“Another hit, please.”

That refocuses his attention and he nods, a little sluggish. You take the reins this time, lighting the bowl yourself and savoring your pull. 

As you exhale again into the thick air of his trailer, Joel takes another, more modest puff to maintain his already achieved high. 

“Shit, I needed this,” you groan, feeling more and more boneless as you melt into his couch. “That’s good shit.”

“I don’t skimp on what’s important,” Joel mumbles, slumping over until his curly mop plops into your lap. 

You chuckle at him, stroking a hand through his hair and receiving a very pornographic moan in response when your nails scratch against his scalp. 

“Fuckin’ Christ. You’re my fuckin’ angel. Angel in devil’s clothes.”

Cleverness begins to fail you as the cozy tendrils of the weed start to lighten your brain into something a little more relaxed. So you just sink into the couch, playing with his soft locks and humming to his lethargic babble. 

When you’ve waded through the deepest of the haze, Joel sits back up, cradling his cheek in the crook of his arm as it balances on the back of his sofa. “So what are you doin’ here, Sugarplum? You get all dressed up for me? ‘Cause I somehow doubt that.”

You smirk at him in what you hope is playfully, but lands somewhere closer to dopey. “Why do you doubt that?”

He just fixes you with a telling look, and you concede. 

“Okay. No, I um– I had a date tonight.”

Joel nods, a little exaggeratedly in his current state. “Pretty little thing had a date. ‘Course she did.”

“Well, I did,” you say, pulling your legs up onto the couch and folding them to your side, maintaining what seems like a silly level of modesty given your present company. “Until he canceled on me about twenty minutes before he was supposed to pick me up.”

The divots between his brows seem to grow impossibly deep at that. “You gotta be goddamn jokin’ me. No fucker in his right mind would stand up a thing like you.”

You dip your head down, picking at the fraying threads of his couch cushion. “Not so sure about that.”

“I am. I’m damn sure.”

You shrug, “I just didn’t want the dress to go to waste.”

“Sure as hell didn’t.”

You hum in response. Picking. Tugging. Picking. Tugging. Until you feel fingers pinching your chin and guiding your attention up. And his eyes are still watery, still tinged with red, but are so unwavering as they burrow into your own, brimming with wetness for a wholly different reason. 

“Hey,” he utters, soft as anything, soft as his hair, soft as his belly, soft as his eyes. “It sure as hell didn’t,” he repeats, and waits for you to acknowledge it. 

And you do, with a small nod and sniffle. 

“Good girl.”

Your lip quivers at that, and the words tumble out. “Fuck me. Right now.”

Your back hits the seat cushions and his mouth is on yours, tasting sweet and a little bitter as his tongue strokes between your teeth. His noises pitch upward as you tug lightly at his hair, and his knee situates itself between your legs, providing you with delicious friction against your already dripping core. 

Joel’s breath wafts hot over your ear as he rasps, “You take your panties off for him or for me?”

“For you,” you reply breathily, moaning as he nips and licks at your ear, his increased breath reverberating in your head so loud it makes your pussy throb with the influx of intimacy. 

“All for me?” he asks, maneuvering a hand down to where you’re wet and begging for him, “Goin’ commando in this tight ‘n tiny little number, riskin’ givin’ anyone on the street a flash of your drippy little slit?”

Your moan bounces off the walls when he slips two fingers inside of you, pumping and curling them with a rehearsed accuracy that has pleasure fraying your edges as soon as he sets his pace. 

“And you brought it here to me? Brought me this sexy, heart-shaped box of yours all wrapped up in a pretty package?”

“Yes, daddy,” you breathe out, wrapping a heel-clad foot around his waist to spread yourself open for him, “Brought it for you. All for you. Please.”

“You gonna come for me, you naughty little angel? Come on daddy’s fingers.”

You whimper as he strokes at you with those fingers, his other hand descending on your clit to rub circles with his thumb. Your hips buck into his hand on your clit and down onto his fingers pistoning inside you, and you feel yourself coming apart all at once, your voice breaking as you call out for him. 

Joel showers you in praise as he fucks you through your release, resting his forehead on your temple. “Good fuckin’ girl. All that for daddy. Good girl. Squeeze daddy’s fingers, just like that, baby. Fuckin’ shit. So fuckin’ pretty.”

A whine kicks up in your throat as the overstimulation starts to throb in your clit, and you bump at his hand to stem the sensation. Joel’s fingers web through yours as he pins your hand above your head on the arm of the sofa, his two fingers slowing to a methodical crawl within your pussy. 

“Love how you feel around my fuckin’ fingers, sweetheart. Love seein’ how tight you clench around ‘em, knowin’ I’m about to stretch you wide open on my cock and feel you just as tight.”

“Fucking love your cock, daddy,” you keen as your hips undulate in time with his continued ministrations inside you. “Wanna be filled with it right now.”

“You want daddy’s cock now?” he teases, the tips of his two fingers dragging delightfully against the most enticing spot of your inner walls, drawing a tender gasp from your lips. 

“I really, really do,” you whimper, grinding onto his hand harder, “Need you to split me open, daddy.”

“Can I get a ‘please’ all pretty-like for me?”

You whine again and nod. “Please, daddy. Fill me with your cock.”

“You deserve it, don’t you, sexy girl?”

And the way he asks it, the way his eyes bore into yours when he does, you feel like he’s asking you to admit to more than you’d otherwise be willing to offer yourself. 

Tell yourself that you deserve good things. You deserve this pleasure. 

“I—” your breath hitches as his fingers crook inside you again, your nerve faltering at your lips. 

Joel’s lips part as he keeps drawing your pleasure tighter again, and you feel your core building that pressure again. “Tell me. Tell daddy you deserve his cock.”

“I— I deserve it,” you force out through the mounting pleasure in your brain, gasping when his fingers pick up momentum. “Oh, god, that…it feels…”

“Yeah, pretty girl? You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for daddy, I can feel it too. You deserve this, baby,” he coos, releasing your trapped hand to press firmly above your pulsing cunt. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn wet for me. Show me how wet you are for daddy, make your little hole gush for me.”

“Daddy, I…oh,” you squeak out as a wave of pleasure washes over you, pulsing out your limbs. And more than that, you feel a steady stream of liquid flow out of you, you hear the wet slap of Joel’s fingers, his palm, as it floods his hand. 

“Oh fuck, that’s it, baby. That’s it, darlin’ girl. Soak my fuckin’ hand. Such a naughty little bitch. Squirtin’ out your filthy little snatch for daddy. That’s fuckin’ right,” he babbles as his palm smacks lewdly up against your cunt with a fresh wave of wetness. 

Your hips jolt with the heightened sensation, and you can’t muster anything more than barely audible moans as Joel fucks you until you have nothing left for him to coax out. 

“Fuckin’ shit, sweetheart. Messy fuckin’ girl,” he grunts as he wipes his dripping hand on his sweats before tucking both behind your knees and spreading your legs to admire your drenched, finger-fucked cunt. “So juicy for daddy, huh? Daddy’s gonna slide his big straw into that sloppy little juice box of yours. And when I’m done you can suck on his big straw like a good little girl. How’s that sound, sweetheart?”

“Can you please just fuck me?” you beg, slipping the straps of your dress off your shoulders to push your dress and strapless bra below your tits. Joel stares hungrily as you play with them for him. 

“Fuck me. Yeah, your little box is ready to get stuffed, ain’t it?” he moans, tilting his head to the side to kiss up your calf and up to your ankle, still encased in your shoe. His teeth bite at the strap and buckle, skimming his lips wetly down the curve of your foot to the arch of it and sucking at the side of it he’s able to reach. 

“Joel,” you whine helplessly, desperately as your pussy screams for that bulge in his pants to bury itself inside your body instead. “What the fuck are you doing.”

“Worshippin’ my slutty little goddess. You blessed me with this little dress, this tasty little puss, so I’m gonna show my appreciation,” he mutters into your foot. 

And it shouldn’t feel good, but you’ve never had anyone put their lips on your feet before, and you’re so fucking horny for this man, you let yourself feel it. Your other heel drapes over his shoulder as his mouth drags over the slope of your foot and back up your ankle. 

“Such a pretty outfit, so I’ve decided not to tear it apart. Nasty little whore, you made it easy to access whatever I want anyway,” he chuckles a bit, gliding his teeth up until he can bite at the skin under your knee. 

You groan and press your head into the couch cushion, “Not the first person to accuse me of being a hooker tonight.”

Joel pauses for a second with a suspicious look. “Who was the first? Better not’ve been that shitty fucker who stood you up, or I’ll deck his lights out,” he says with a gentle aggression that has a rolling heat burgeoning in your stomach for a reason you can’t quite place.

“No, it was that old guy at your work tonight.”

Joel cocks his head. “Walter? Walter said you were a hooker?”

“I said I was looking for you and he just…assumed, I think. You hire hookers on the clock? ‘Cause he seems to think so.”

“Only a handful of times,” he mutters, his eyes going shifty, uneasy, almost…embarrassed. “I don’t wanna talk about that. Not with your slutty little hole winkin’ at me like that.”

“Fair enough,” you dismiss, tapping your heel against Joel’s back to spark his attention. “Stop making me fucking wait for what I came for.”

“Already came twice,” Joel says under his breath, but he uses the hand not gripping the back of your knee to work his cock out of its confines, springing out angry and red and as intimidating as ever. He leaves it bobbing free as he takes up his hands behind both of your knees to spread you wider. “Guide it where you want it, pretty girl. He’s all yours.”

You bite your lip at those words. He’s all yours. Your hand wraps around his girth before you let your mind race too far. You stroke him softly and revel in the way his chin droops down to his chest and a groan rumbles in his throat at the first real stimulation of his cock. 

“Let me feel that red velvet pussy, baby.”

You finally notch the fat head of him at your entrance and wiggle your hips down the couch, gasping as it parts your opening with a dull sting. When you capture Joel’s gaze, you beg softly, “Fuck it, daddy. She’s all yours.”

His face caves into an expression so aroused it almost looks painful. And then he’s groaning to fill the hush of the room and spearing into your cunt with every inch of him at once. 

You’ll never get used to the sounds that he pushes out of you when he fucks you full, when he enters you for the first time and smacks you in the face with how gigantic he is in comparison to the tight ring of your pussy. Like a wounded animal, like prey falling to a predator, like you’re irreversibly changed once he’s claimed you for his own. 

His rhythm sets off harsh and frantic and consuming, keeping your legs spread to feast his eyes upon your ravaged flesh. 

“Fuck, so goddamn perfect. Feel so perfect around my cock. Milkin’ daddy just right with this tight little hole, aren’t you, baby?”

“Yeah,” you whimper, tweaking your hardened nipples between your fingers and massaging at your tits as his hips smack against yours, the drenched state of your pussy enhancing the sound. 

Joel secures your legs over his shoulders and leans in over you, bracketing your head with his hands and snapping his hips into you as you cry out with the change in angle, pulling him deeper inside you. 

“Yeah, daddy’s so fuckin’ deep, huh? You love this fuckin’ cock? You love daddy fuckin’ this dirty snatch so fuckin’ deep?”

“Yes,” you keen, flinging your hands back to dig your nails into the arm of his couch and using it as leverage to fuck yourself down onto his length as he shoves it in, falling into a blissful harmony. 

“Fuck daddy’s cock, slutty girl. God, I fuckin’ love that. Suckin’ it right up your cunt like a pro. Pussy’s so tight I got it molded to my cock now, don’t I? Ain’t gonna fit right with no other cock, is it?”

“No, daddy,” you whine, plunging yourself down onto him again and again just to feel the tip of it dragging along your cervix in that way you have come to fucking crave. Joel’s cock fucks you open and curves up into that perfect spot inside of you in the most flawless rhythm, and it has you spiraling into another orgasm with no discernible warning. You pussy clenches and spills around his cock, soaking the both of you with what Joel had already primed you for with his fingers. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, baby,” Joel moans as he lets his cock slip out of you to watch you gush onto his thoroughly soiled couch. He fucks back into you in a single push and withdraws again, just to see more of it rush out. Joel fists his cock and slaps it down onto your spread folds in a series of heavy smacks, then rubs the head of it against your clit as the rivulets cascading from you subside. “Gushin’ like a fuckin’ jacuzzi. Where you been hidin’ this little party trick?”

“I don’t fucking know,” you pant out, trying to get a grip on your shaking thighs as Joel’s cock slides through your folds. “Fuck. I didn’t know…”

“Well if anyone was gonna teach you, it would be your big dick daddy, now wouldn’t it?” Joel brags, smacking the full length of him against your lips and lower belly. 

You twitch with residual aftershocks as the weight of him jostles you, and Joel chuckles. 

“You’re shaking like a leaf darlin’,” he says, tapping one of your quivering thighs. “Flip over for me. Daddy’s gonna dick you down real good.”

“Gonna?” you squeak out, staring at him incredulously, “What have you been doing so far?”

Joel presses his lips together to stifle a laugh and smacks at your thigh again. “Ego’s already big enough, darlin’. Don’t go pumpin’ it up for me now.”

“Can say that again,” you mutter with a small smile, but flip over until you’re flat on your stomach and resting your head in your arms. “Big dick, bigger ego.”

Joel grunts behind you as he settles on top of you, slipping his arm under and around your shoulder and nuzzling into your neck. He grinds his cock into the cleft of your ass before pulling back and aligning it at your entrance again with his hand. He hums in your ear and says with laughter in his voice, “Imagine if it was my ego I was shovin’ into this tiny cunt. You’d be fucked.”

Your reply is replaced with a gasping moan as he presses back into you at a different angle, this one rubbing intensely along the front wall of your pussy. The groan you release is embarrassing, abhorrent to your own ears, but Joel’s answering moan has all concern fluttering from your conscience. 

“How’re you still so fuckin’ tight after I’ve fucked you open so many times, huh, Sugarplum?” he asks, voice clearly forced out through his teeth, like he’s fighting for his life not to spill his load inside of you in the next few seconds. But he bottoms out and fucks you slow, staying balls deep and making a home for himself there in the deepest part of you. “Jesus, need to dust off the ol’ cock ring. Wanna fuck you for hours, baby. Fuck you raw and stupid on this dick. Fuck you ‘til you fall asleep on it, you’re so goddamn tired. Fuck you ‘til you forget what it feels like to not be stuffed full of me.”

“Daddy,” you whimper into your arms, already overwhelmed by the sheer heft of this man making room for himself inside your body, not even giving your pussy an ounce of space to relax that isn’t around him, isn’t on his terms. “Feels so fucking good inside. So fucking big.”

“I know it, sweetheart. So good at takin’ this cock. That first time I thought you was gonna pass out on it. And look at you now – shakin’ and beggin’ for it like a bitch. You daddy’s bitch, nasty girl?”

“Yes,” you whine as Joel starts to slam his hips harder, faster into you, “Yes, I’m your bitch, daddy!” And you’re suddenly screaming it for him as his fingers dig into the back of your shoulder, holding you steady as he uses you. 

“Fuck yeah,” he growls out, hoisting himself off you and hauling your hips into the air along with him. He fucks down deep into you as you moan into the couch, allowing him to take what he’s rightfully earned from you, simply by appreciating you, knowing how to make you scream, knowing how to make you come. 

And you’re fairly dizzy with the experience, but you aren’t far gone enough to not feel the slippery thumb massaging circles against the tight ring of muscle he’s only ever explored before with his tongue. 

A mewl escapes your lips as the tip of the digit teases your resolve. 

“You gonna be my little slut, baby? Let daddy put his thumb in your ass. It’s real good for ya. It’ll be real good,” he speaks in breathy pants as his cock maintains its devastating tempo. 

You let out a pitiful whimper, and you’re only partially surprised that the only answer in your head is yes, yes, yes. 

It’s apparently also on your lips, because without even registering that you’ve said it aloud, Joel is rumbling out a deep and resonant, “That’s my darlin’ girl.” You swear you feel your eyes roll back in your head as the possessive praise inextricably clings itself to the sensation of his thick, meaty thumb gliding into your asshole up to the knuckle. 

It shouldn’t feel this good. It shouldn’t feel this good having his cock filling you to the brim and then even more of him filling your ass. You’ve never liked anal, you’ve never even been interested in it, but this fucking tornado of a man has everything spinning in your head, disorienting your thoughts, screaming at you that what you thought was wrong is so, so right. 

“Lemme get a picture of this, sweetheart – of you all plugged up with me.”

“Okay,” you gasp, constricting your grip around his thumb as if needing to hammer into your head that there’s a finger in your ass. A thick finger. He can probably feel his own cock through the separating skin. 

Joel groans as you flex around his finger. “Spread yourself for the camera, baby.”

Your hands move to your cheeks and you can’t bring yourself to feel shame for this. Not for shit like this, with him. Not anymore. He makes you feel dirty and sexy and beautiful and worth his time. Why the hell wouldn’t you want to document this?

“Fuckin’ hell. Just like that.” You hear a series of shutters, and then his thumb slides out of you and he uses it to pull at the small established gape he’s made of your asshole. A few more shutters and Joel is muttering perfect, fuckin’ perfect, as he tosses his phone aside.

The words flow through you like hot honey tea, even if you weren’t meant to hear them. How does a man like him make you feel so treasured when you’re with him? You don’t belong to him, but he treats you like you do, in the most respectful of ways. He drags you down with him into the depths of his depravity, and yet once you’re there, you’re pleasured like… like a goddess. Like his goddess. 

Joel’s hips ramp up again, timing his thrusts with that of his thumb as he fucks you in both holes at once. “God, so fuckin’ beautiful like this. Wanna stretch this hole open until you can take this whole cock up your ass, baby. Spill my load in there, watch it drip down your cunt.”

And you had said unequivocally no. You had said, not tabling. Off the table. But, god, deep down you know he’d make it feel so good. Somehow, he’d make it worth it. And it’s fucking killing you. You can’t admit that to him, you can’t let him know that you’re convinced he could make anything feel good. That’s too close to something. And this isn’t something. This is I make you feel good, you make me feel good, and we go our separate ways. 

So you just moan for him in response. A verbal confirmation is too much. Giving him too much power over you. And Joel seems too lost in the clutch of your body to parse the difference. 

“Velvet fuckin’ pussy, darlin’,” he chants to the rhythm of his hips colliding with yours, and you’ve come to recognize the telltale signs of his impending orgasm. His sounds start to fluctuate in pitch, his hips more stuttered in their movement, his fingernails indent your skin as he frantically clings to the final moments of euphoric crescendo before the cymbal crash. 

And crash it does, announced with an unabashed groan of sheer pleasure as he spills himself inside of you again, so many times now you’ve lost count, lost sense of the level of responsibility in your actions. Too feral, too dependent on the soothing, post-fuck tranquility of his come dripping from the deepest part of you. A balm to your stretched, aching wound that he caused, because you asked him to — keep asking him to — again and again. A reminder of where he’s been, what he’s done to you, what he’s done with you in all these private moments. 

He slips himself free, and you feel the trickle of him, evidence of how much he’s pumped into you. Leaving you open and gaping, yet so fucking full of him, even after he’s gone. Pulled out and dripped free of your heat and hold. 

Lazy kisses paint up your back where your dress has ridden up your spine, and then back down to bite more reminders of him into the flesh of your ass, until he guides your hips flush to the couch and blankets you with his weight. 

Minutes of quiet breath-catching tick by, feeling the scratch of his hair where your bare skin meets along your bodies, until Joel breaks the silence to say, “Stupid bastard was out of his fuckin’ mind.”

And you’re not positive why, but you feel tears stinging your eyes again. You steel yourself, refuse to let them fall, force them to dry out before they betray you. 

You clear your throat of any traitorous frogs before you speak again. “Sorry about your couch.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout,” he reassures, grunting quietly as he shifts himself off you and slips behind instead, pulling you into him, “Plus, Doreen’s got one of them special little steam cleaners she lets me borrow from time to time. Get it cleaned up real nice.”

“Doreen?”

“Little old lady ‘cross the way,” he says into your hair. 

You do your best to turn slightly and look at him. “You’re friends with the little old lady across the way?”

“You doubt my charm?”

Your eyes search his face — the wide, dopey smile, the drooping eyelids, the dwindling glassy rose in his eyes from the weed — and you smile back. 

“Maybe. Feel like you would be a kind old lady’s worst nightmare.”

“Nah, I’m a good boy. Just ask my mama,” he quips. 

“Sure,” you joke, positioning yourself back into a proper little spoon. 

You feel a kiss on the back of your head. “Gonna step out for some fresh air and a smoke. Keep me company?”

You grumble as Joel props himself upright on the couch and pulls his sweats back up. “‘S’cold outside,” you groan, watching him as he stands and slips on a shirt from where it was strewn onto the back of a chair. 

Joel studies you where you lie, your dress a flimsy accordion with the top and bottom convening at your torso, leaving Joel’s favorite bits on display. And as much as you assume it probably pains him to have your body hidden from his view, he says, “You can wear my coat.”

Your eyes light up. “Yeah?”

Joel masks a grin and grabs the coat off the peg by the door, throwing it to you. You know this coat. You’ve worn it before. And although you don’t want to give yourself away by inhaling its scent too gratuitously, you don’t capture any hints of your perfume on the fabric in your covert sniffs. It’s been too long. 

You push yourself onto only moderately shaky legs and work yourself back into your dress properly before slipping your arms through the coat and zipping it around you. You feel a bit like a giant marshmallow in the padded utility jacket, but when you look back up at Joel, there’s a shimmer of something in his eyes, on his face. And something like a twitch in his mouth, like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it. 

You’re not sure you’ve ever seen Joel hold his tongue over anything, so it’s likely just a trick of the light, the lingering effects of your high. 

Joel’s eyes only tear from you to swipe up his smokes and lighter from the coffee table and step into a pair of slides before he’s leading you out the door. 

The cold is bitter, but Joel’s coat is warm enough. Your legs prick with the chill breeze as Joel sticks two cigarettes into his mouth and lights them both, handing one off to you. You rest on the railing with him side by side, taking reasonably synchronous puffs as you stare up at the moon, the stars. 

A couple screams at each other a few lots down, their voices only muted by the distance and the persistent, humming buzz of Joel’s porch light. 

“Right on cue,” Joel mumbles around his cig as he scratches his beard. “Kev can’t keep it in his fuckin’ pants for the life of ‘im.”

“Mmm. Sounds like someone I know.”

Joel’s sidelong glance is sprinkled with a sort of childlike mischievousness as the corners of his mouth lilt. “Maybe so. But I wouldn’t step out on my girl, though.”

His lingering gaze has the back of your neck growing hot. You hum in agreement as you take another drag, tapping the ash with fingers half-obscured by the length of Joel’s sleeves and watching as it falls to the gravel below. 

Joel flicks the ash of his own smoke against the railing to plop down next to yours, and exhales a cloud as he stares off in the direction of the feuding couple’s trailer. “When I got a girl, that’s all I need. And it’s been a rare blue moon that my girl ever went and got it somewhere else.”

He takes in a steady, clean breath and shrugs with his head before continuing. “And whenever they did, they came crawlin’ right back. Always come to find that their daddy lays the best pipe. Ain’t never seen one of my girls spread ‘em open for no one else after they stepped out the first time. Not ‘til after it was over.” 

Your focus catches on his lips as they wrap around his cigarette again, the barest concave of his cheeks as he sucks, the pout of him as he expels into the night air. And you ache to say something. You feel heavy with it. 

The opening chords of a melodic ballad fall upon your ears, and you both swivel your heads in the opposite direction of the screaming pair. Instead, you’re graced with a couple coming together in an embrace, slowly rocking to the music floating from their porch. 

A soft laugh escapes you as you watch them wistfully. “Now that is how a Valentine’s Day is supposed to end.”

Joel glances at you. He takes one last drag from his smoke and tamps it out on the wood before dropping it into a chipped mug on the railing, housing a dozen cigarette butts. He holds a hand out to you and tilts his head toward the pavement. 

You stare at his outstretched hand, and your mind trips over itself to unravel the intent behind it. “What are—”

“Dance with me.”

Your eyes snap up to his, and you’re met with an easy smile on a disheveled, glassy-eyed, gorgeous man. Braving the cold in sweats, a wrinkly and hole-riddled Henley, and slides on tube-socked feet. Asking you to dance while clad in his coat and your stilettos. 

You chew on your lip as you watch his fingers wiggle impatiently as your cigarette butt kisses Joel’s in the mug when you discard it. And then as your hand slides into his. 

“Atta girl,” he praises you softly, tugging you down the steps with him and onto the pavement. 

Joel isn’t fancy with it. He just pulls you close into him, wrapping his arms around your waist as you drape your head on his shoulder.  He sways the two of you from side to side following the beat of the music. Your heels scrape the asphalt, your nails scratch the back of his neck, and his hands dip below the hem of his coat to tease at the round of your ass over your dress. 

“Sure I ain’t said it enough, but you’re a goddamn knockout tonight,” he rumbles quietly into your ear, his fingers groping at the bottom curve of your cheeks to emphasize his point. 

And after your date flaked on you, after you got dolled up for him, got your hopes up for a nice night, and had your plans disintegrate between your fingers, just for Joel to swoop in and illuminate your sky with stars, those words spear right through your heart. 

And you know you should say something traditionally sweet back. Something like thank you or you too. But as those softer words rattle around your brain, you feel wetness trickling down your inner thigh, and you opt to whisper something more personalized. Something you know Joel would find sweetest of all to fall from your lips. “I can feel you dripping out of me.”

A groan vibrates up his chest and one hand slips between your bodies until you feel the cool press of his fingers at your cunt. 

“Fuck me, darlin’,” he breathes, bringing up two thick fingers for you to see, glistening opalescent in the moonlight. 

He doesn’t ask, you just drop your jaw and stick your tongue out for him, sucking your shared juices off his skin as your eyes lock. He pulls them free and replaces them with his mouth, tasting the two of you off your tongue. Joel’s hand nestles under your dress once more to cup your pussy. Not to slide inside, not to get you off. Just to hold you as close as he knows how. To catch where the two of you fall. 

He nuzzles your nose with his and tucks your face into his neck with his other hand as he sways with you. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sugarplum.” 

You sigh into his neck and lay your hand over his beneath your dress. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, daddy.”

Next

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[dilf-lover99]

And I Love Her | J.P.

Pairing: James Potter x Female Reader

Summary: The 3 times James tries to get the girl and the 1 time he finally does. Or In which James Potter is hopelessly in love with his best friend.

Warnings: so. much. pining., idiots to lovers, miscommunication(s), a dash of angst, some heavy kissing, james potter being the literal definition of boyfriendism

Word Count: 4.8k

a/n: hi ! james potter won the poll and i am so completely okay with it. i really intended for this to be angst but he's just SO boyfriend. this may be my favorite thing i've ever written and i really hope you enjoy it too ! p.s. i missed u guys lots and i'm so grateful you've stuck around after months of crickets from me. love u love u love u<3

(y/n).

Depending on who you asked, it was only a name. The name of a classmate, or a friend, or yourself, but only a name nonetheless.

Unless you asked James Potter.

It wasn’t only a name. Not to him. To James, it was everything.

Because it was your name.

Your name that hastened his heartbeat with every mention.

Your name that sent a salient stream of blood rushing to his cheeks, tinting them a lucent shade of scarlet.

Your name that, once mentioned, seemed to follow him everywhere, as though the wind itself would begin whispering it, rustling alongside the branches of the whomping willow tree before floating its way over to his ears, sounding sweeter than any melody he’d ever heard before.

To state it simply, James Potter was irrevocably, inconceivably, in love with you.

But saying it that way didn’t seem like enough.

He didn’t just love you with his heart, for his heart could stop beating. And he didn’t only love you with his mind, for his memories could fail him one day. James Potter loved you with the entirety of his soul, with every fibre making up his being. Of that, he was certain.

What he wasn’t certain of however, was how to bare his infatuated soul to you.

After all, how exactly does one tell his best friend he’s besotted with her?

He tried the gentle approach first. 

The train back to Hogwarts was filling up quickly. Stories of his peers’ summer holidays flow obstreperously through the air as James’ eyes remain glued to the door of him and his friends’ usual compartment.

“Ease off it with the evil eye, Prongs. She’ll be here.” Sirius’ teasing voice breaks James away from his thoughts, which were unsurprisingly fixated on you.

He doesn’t bother denying it, well aware he’s been staring daggers at the door since he stepped foot off platform 9 ¾, anxiously awaiting your appearance after spending the entire summer holiday apart from you.

“Leave him be, Pads. He misses her.” Remus interjects kindly, not lifting his eyes from the well-worn pages of whichever book he’s decided to burrow his attention into for the ride back to Hogwarts.

“Well he can join the bloody club then, can’t he?” Sirius starts, intent on ignoring Remus’ suggestion, “I’ve just about fallen for her myself after spending my entire holiday listening to this git recite his bloody sonnets for her,” he continues with a not-so flattering mimicry of a lovesick James, “It is the east! And (y/n) is the sun. O Romeo!” He throws himself dramatically to the floor on his knees, clasping his hands above his heart.

Peter watches the spectacle with a grin, covering up his chuckle with a cough after James sends him a look of warning. Before James can defend himself against Sirius’ melodrama, the door to their compartment slides open, revealing a beautiful and slightly out of breath you.

And suddenly you’re not the only one who’s out of breath.

You’ve gotten even prettier over the summer, somehow. If somebody had asked James before, if he thought you could possibly have gotten any more beautiful, he’d’ve laughed in their face, telling them tales of how your beauty could put Aphrodite to shame. But now? Now his heart was beating so violently in his chest he was almost certain it was attempting to escape, trying to take its rightful place upon your sleeve.

“Sorry I’m late, I nearly broke my neck out there!” You stop briefly to catch your breath, the jog on your way over winding you more than you’d care to admit. “Someone ought to tell those first-years there’s enough seats on here for the lot of us. I’ve just been walloped by a bloody eleven year old! Cheeky little-” You cease your rambling amidst your confusion at the sight before you, Sirius on his knees at James’ feet.

“Have I interrupted something? Perhaps a proposal of sorts?” You jest, your amusement growing at the wide eyed look on James’ face as he scrambles to stand, coming to greet you properly with a hug that doesn’t last nearly as long as you wish it would.

“No!” He protests instantly, amidst wrapping you in the soft embrace.

“Cor, I’ve missed you.” He mumbles after pulling away, leaving a hand on your back as he gently guides you to your seat beside him, hesitant to do so, as once you’re sat he’ll no longer have an excuse to touch you.

“I missed you more!” Your enthusiasm brings him optimism, there’s a chance she means it the way you do, he thinks, there’s a chance-

“And what of me?” Sirius and his bloody interjections. James has half a mind to lock him out of the ruddy compartment and leave him to fend for himself amongst the overzealous first-years.

“I’m sorry, have we met?” You feign confusion, though not very well, James can see the brilliant smile forming leisurely upon your lips. What I would do to those lips, his thoughts are running rampant after a summer spent away from your presence, too caught up to hear the jokes you and Sirius are trading back and forth, and that laugh! His internal monologue continues, ’s like a proper bloody song. Just ask her, right now. If she says no you can play it off as a joke. It might sting a bit, but surely it’d be better than keeping it all locked away.

“Will you go to Hogsmeade with me? Just us two? We’ll have a lovely time, I swear it.”

He knows what he was hoping you’d say, something along the lines of ‘Yes, James, I’d love to!’ but he wasn’t expecting it.

He also wasn’t expecting your given response.

“That’s a wonderful idea, Jamie, thank you! D’you see that, Sirius? A helpful suggestion. You ought to try one of those sometime.” You’re back to chatting with Sirius and Remus as Peter leans over to James, whispering an explanation to his visibly confused friend.

James had caught you mid-complaint about how you’d forgotten to bring the dittany leaves you need to make the special healing chocolates you gift Remus after a particularly bad full moon. After Sirius’ not-so-helpful suggestion to try substituting them with pot leaves, you gladly welcomed the chance to pop over to Hogsmeade with James and buy some more.

You’d mistaken his date proposal for a shopping trip.

Marvellous.

This is going to be the year that James tells you how he feels. He’ll make sure of it.

If for no other reason than this was your seventh and final year at Hogwarts together. His stomach churned at the mere idea of allowing you to slip through his fingers for good; you acting as the coarse sand to his adamant hourglass. He wouldn’t have it.

So he’d try again.

In the few weeks since you’ve returned to Hogwarts, your time’s been consumed by studying for your N.E.W.T.s. You’re also determined to acquire a spot in the internship programme at St. Mungo’s. The sheer amount of time you’ve spent there with your boys over the last few years has more than prepared you for a future as a healer if you end up enjoying the work.

“Alright, who was the first witch to extract floo powder?” James has spent the last hour and a half quizzing you on all matters Herbology, if it were anyone else he’d’ve been bored to slumber by now. But it wasn’t anyone else, it was you.

The two of you were sat outside together on a blanket, taking full advantage of the uncharacteristically sunny day. James is leaned comfortably back against a tree as you sit across from him, simultaneously taking notes and answering each of his questions without pause.

“Ignatia Wildsmith. Ravenclaw. Come ‘ead James, I’ve told you to stop going easy on me! Every seventh-year applying will know all of these.” Bloody lucky I love her so much, James thinks to himself, I thought that was a hard one.

He’d like to laugh your nerves away, crack a few jokes and tell you that you may be going a bit overboard. You’re going to get the internship, and not just because you’re brilliant and perfectly qualified, but also because your Herbology professor had written a glowing recommendation letter singing your praises.

But he can’t find it in himself to mess around when you’ve got that adorable little wrinkle between your eyebrows displaying your worry, and your lips have turned down into a delectably kissable pout. It takes nearly everything in him not to brush it away with his own lips. 

“(y/n),” He starts, wetting his lips with his tongue as he desperately attempts to keep his thoughts from overtaking his voice, “It’s going to be alright, I promise. You’re more than ready for this. Why don’t we try taking a little break?” His heart feels as though it’s leapt into his throat when you glance at him and send a delicate smile of gratitude.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. We’ve been at this for hours, you must be exhausted of me by now.” You smile, more cheerful this time as you realize a break is precisely what you need.

James can’t contain the laugh that escapes him.

Exhausted? Of you? 

The absurdity of thinking he could ever grow tired of you was an inherently laughable concept to him.

He’s nearly clutching his stomach when he finally manages to compose himself, making heart-stopping eye contact with his equally amused and puzzled best friend.

“Are you mad?” James’ dimpled smile sets a kaleidoscope of butterflies aflutter in your stomach, “I’d spend all my hours with you if I could.” He means it with every atom that makes up his being, he’s meant it for years but now he’s actually saying it to you.

Your smile grows wider with each word he speaks, your own thoughts matching the underlying sentiment of his articulation more than he could ever know.

“I-” He pauses, inhaling deeply and squeezing his eyes shut tightly in an effort to maintain his courage, “I love you.” You did it, he thinks to himself proudly, you actually bloody did it, Prongs! He exhales shakily, reinitiating eye contact with you as a small smile begins to blossom on his tender lips.

“James,” Your voice holds an underlying tone of sadness that causes an adorable crinkle of confusion to settle between James’ eyebrows, “I love you too.” You smile tightly, almost as though it’s causing you discomfort to do so.

“You do?” James is more perplexed now than he had been when you’d explained to him in painstaking detail the intricate relationships between each member of Fleetwood Mac the first time the two of you listened to Rumours together.

“Of course I do,” Your smile stretches intimately, the somber quality of your voice never wavering, “You’re my best mate, after all.”

Best mate? James thinks, is that really all she sees?

Had he not been so caught up in his own racing thoughts, he may have picked up on yours. He may have realized that his situation was holding a gargantuan mirror up to your own, casting a perfect reflection of the feelings within.

Best mates, you internally chastise yourself, that’s all he sees.

A proper bloody mirror.

“It was completely humiliating, Pads. She might as well’ve called me her bloody brother.” James has been yammering on about what happened that day for the past three weeks. Three weeks. Sirius is going positively mad, somehow having become James’ sounding board to rehash his complaints every time he remembers the encounter.

“I mean, how am I supposed to tell the girl I’d like to spend the rest of my life with her now?” James is pacing back and forth agitatedly at the foot of Sirius’ bed, as the aforementioned boy lays back uninterestedly, wishing his duvet would come to life and swallow him whole in an effort to escape the worlds most redundant conversation.

“She’d probably tell you that sounds lovely. Make you her future child’s godparent.” Sirius jokes dryly.

James abandons his invisible footpath, a wave of panic comically widening his warm hazel eyes substantially.

“She what?”

“For Merlin’s sake, Prongs! I can’t take any more of this,” Sirius sits up agitatedly, now far beyond his capacity for James’ lovesick commentaries, “Just go tell her. Right now.”

“Are you mad? Have you not just heard everything I’ve said?” James would normally find humour in Sirius’ lackadaisical attitude, but confessing his feelings for you was an entirely serious matter with no margin for error.

“Oh I’ve heard it, Prongs. For the past three weeks. And the entire bloody summer. And every single year before that.” He moves to stand in front of James, his agitation fading into sincerity, “I know how you feel, Prongs. But does she?” James swallows thickly as Sirius continues, “I don’t mean just telling her you love her, I mean telling her how you love her. As more than a friend. Maybe she feels the same way.”

James takes his time considering Sirius’ words. He’s tried to tell you, clearly, but he assumed that you’d only seen him as a friend. But what if you hadn’t? What if Sirius is right, and you told him you loved him as a friend because you’d assumed that’s what he’d meant when he said it?

“I’m a proper git, aren’t I?” James concludes aloud.

“Most certainly, Prongsy. It’s why I keep you around,” Sirius’ playful mood returns swiftly, “Makes me feel better about myself.” 

You’re talking softly with Remus in the library, voices low enough not to disrupt your peers but just detectable enough for James to catch your words when he finds you, internally preparing his declaration of unwavering devotion for you.

“You’re not going out with him, are you?” Remus’ hushed voice holds a curious tone.

“Of course not, Rem.” You smile softly, “Could you honestly imagine that? Him and I dating?”

James’ eyebrows furrow together in confusion, he presses himself slightly against a nearby bookshelf in an attempt to hear your conversation more clearly.

“No, I guess not,” Remus chuckles faintly, “It would certainly make things awkward if they didn’t work out. Being friends and all.” 

“No kidding.” You chuckle good-naturedly. 

James feels like a bag of cement has been poured down his throat, constricting his lungs and settling into a block of concrete in the pit of his stomach.

Sirius had been wrong. You didn’t love James as more than a friend, in fact, you’d practically laughed at the thought of it. In his hasty escape from the scene of the melancholic crime, James neglected to hear the rest of your conversation with Remus.

“He’s a lovely lad, truly,” You smile genuinely, “Any girl would be lucky to call Amos Diggory her boyfriend. We’re just better as friends is all.” You trail off, leaving out the part where your heart already belongs to another shared friend of yours and Remus’.

It’s not like it was ever going to happen anyway. Your love for James Potter was entirely unreciprocated.

Wasn’t it?

James is avoiding you.

As painful as it is to spend each never-ending moment of spare time away from you, James can only think of how much more agonizing it would be to spend those moments with you.

To fix his loving gaze on your sparkling eyes, only to find them filled with affections one would hold only for a friend.

To accomplish the feat of bringing a luminous smile to your delicate lips, only to remember those lips would never brush tenderly against his own.

To be so close to the girl he loves, only to be denied her heart in equal measure.

It’s easier, in a sense, to push you away.

It’s only temporary, just until he can stomach the thought of spending the rest of his life as your best mate and nothing more.

But it’s been weeks, and the idea still makes his head feel like it’s underwater, like he’s fighting to reach the surface but his leg’s been caught on a viciously determined blade of seaweed.

Still, he’s convinced himself that this is his best course of action.

Unbeknownst to James, however, you’ve been going stark raving mad.

You’ve hardly spoken to him in weeks. When you think about it, you’ve barely even seen him, save for a few quick glimpses in your classes and across the dining tables in the Great Hall.

You’ve tried to talk to him, clearly something is bothering him. Maybe you’ve said or done something to upset him without realizing it. But he’d brushed you off before you could even get out the words ‘are you alright?’

You’d asked Remus, Sirius, and Peter about it, each of them giving you vague semblances of justification that fell entirely flat, a few “He’s just busy with quidditch”s and a couple of “Must be studying today”s. You’ve grown tired of the excuses and you’re determined to get to the bottom of it yourself.

You’re leaning picturesquely against the wall outside of the lad’s changing room when James finally sees you again. His curly hair is spilling droplets of water from the shower he’s just taken, successfully washing away the evidence of his quidditch practice.

You’re beautiful. That’s all he can think as he finally allows himself to take you in fully for the first time in weeks. He feels like he’s been holding his breath since he saw you last and now he can finally exhale, a sense of euphoria filling his chest as his lungs deflate mercifully.

“Hi.” You state gently, a delicate smile painted daintily across your lips.

“Hi.” James echoes once he’s relearned the inhale-exhale repetition of breathing again.

“I waited for you,” You start after a brief silence, “Which- You can see that, obviously.” You chuckle a ebullient breath that causes a small smile to form on James’ face, Merlin, I’ve missed that, he thinks as you continue. “I just, um- I thought maybe we could talk?” You’re fiddling with your fingers, a nervous habit of yours that James has long since memorized by now.

He instantly reaches for your hands, tenderly taking one in his own and carefully intertwining your fingers together with his. The action is like second nature, he hardly thinks twice about it.

You smile visibly at the act of comfort, if he’s upset with you and that’s the reason he’s been avoiding you, it makes your heart skip a beat that he’s putting it all aside to calm you down when you’re anxious.

“About what?” He tries, though you both know that’s not going to work.

“Nice,” You smile teasingly, “Want to give it a real go this time?”

James swallows something akin to a lump in his throat, averting his resplendent hazel gaze from your eyes to land somewhere along the floor as he overthinks which approach he should take.

He could try honesty. Yes, he thinks, because that would go over proper well. I’m avoiding you cause I’ve been gutted since I heard you’re not in love with me. Surely she’ll find that real mature, Prongs.

He could also try lying his arse off. And that would work, he sarcastically chastises silently, Me? Oh nothing’s wrong at all. Just tired, y’know? Practice and homework and the like. As if she’s ever believed a lie you’ve told her before.

He finally chances resuming eye contact with you, heartbeat hastening expeditiously as his hazel orbs lock onto your patently awaiting eyes. You should be looking far more frustrated, James wouldn’t blame you if you were. You have every right to be upset, and yet you’re not.

Instead, you’re you. 

You, who’s calmly awaiting a response, fingers still gently intertwined with James’. 

You, who’s looking at him with soft, sparkling eyes, eyes that are silently promising him no matter what he says, everything is going to be alright.

You, the girl he loves more than anything in the world.

“You.” He states after an implicit eternity.

“Me?” Your features mix together to create a perfectly darling display of confusion that, even despite the circumstances, causes a modest smile to tug upwards at the corners of James’ mouth.

“I’ve been avoiding you.” He conveys, sounding as though he’s just revealed to you a hidden secret you’d’ve never otherwise been able to uncover.

You can’t contain the short laugh that escapes you, a smile taking its rightful place on your face. “Yeah, ‘m not exactly Sherlock Holmes, but I managed to put that one together.”

James can’t subdue the traces of guilt that seep onto his face.

“I was hoping maybe we could talk about why. If I’ve done something to upset you-”

“No!” James cuts you off, “No, love, you haven’t done anything. Nothing you could control anyway.” His voice is less than half of its usual volume at the last sentence he utters.

Your face is back to holding that adorably confused expression that James so desperately yearns to kiss away.

“I have to admit, Jamie, I’ve got no idea what you’re on about.”

James sighs, finally releasing the hand that’s been holding comfortably on to your own and running it through his leisurely drying hair. He releases a sigh of distress and squeezes his eyes shut firmly in an attempt to figure out the best way to explain himself.

“If you’re not upset with me, then why have you been avoiding me?” You’re trying to put it together on your own as James is proving to be no help, “Wait a mo! Is this some kind of prank or something?” You smile, though you’re not entirely certain you’re correct yet, “Are you trying to get back at me for dying your knickers pink? Because that was an accident!” 

James can’t help but smile at your incorrect deduction. Merlin she’s adorable he thinks, how am I supposed to tell her now?

“Yes!” James concludes untruthfully, “You got me. Just a prank. Might’ve gone a bit too far with it though. Sorry ‘bout that, love.”

He brings you into a hug and, after going weeks without it, it feels like home.

You feel like home.

You’re hugging James, after having just gone weeks without it. And you just know. 

You have to tell him.

You have to tell him, right now, that you’re in love with him.

And so you do.

“I love you.” You state breathlessly, pulling away from the warm solace of his embrace and looking bravely into his glimmering hazel eyes.

James nods his head mechanically, as if he’s agreeing to your suggestion on what to have for dinner and not taking in the confession of eternal love you’ve just spouted.

“Yes, I love you too,” He smiles a tight, strained smile, “Mate.” He punctuates his final word by bumping his fist gently into your shoulder.

Oh, you think, I’m going to have to spell it out for him, aren’t I?

“No, James. I love you,” You take a step closer to him, not breaking eye contact despite the nerves that are jostling around your insides like a violent sea in a raging storm, taking a deep breath before exhaling somewhat expeditiously, you continue, “Like- Like, I’m in love with you.”

The first thing James feels in that moment are his eyes widening emphatically behind his round-rimmed glasses, his dark lashes making direct contact with the top of his eyelids. He’s certain he must have heard you wrong, that or he’s understood you wrong.

The second thing he feels is hope. What if he hadn’t understood you wrong?

The third thing he feels is his heart, beating faster than it ever has before, so fast he thinks it might be ready to do him in for good. Surely a heart shouldn’t be beating that fast.

“You’re in love? With me?” James speaks disbelievingly, though he’s unable to hide the traces of optimism he’s feeling as a modest smile begins to form on his face.

You nod your head assuredly, a genial smile of your own starting at the sight of his, “Yes, I’m in love with you. Madly, in fact.”

You’ve spent months, years even, deliberating on how you would tell James, if you would tell James. You’d spent countless hours wondering how he would react and what would happen after all was said and done.

You’d planned to tell him all about that. About how long you’ve felt this way, when it started and why it’s taken you so long to tell him, how you were too afraid of risking your best friend should anything have gone wrong.

What you hadn’t planned on was what happened the second you got the last word out.

James eagerly presses his plush lips onto your own, savouring the long overdue sensation of your mouth against his. He tenderly brushes your bottom lip with his tongue once he feels you respond to the kiss with equal fervour. Enthusiastically, you grant his tongue access into your mouth, pulling him closer to you by the roots of his damp hair.

James lets out a low groan at the contact, pulling you flush against his body by your waist, his hands hungrily gripping onto you for dear life as, somehow, the kiss deepens even further.

When the need for oxygen outweighs your mutual need for each others lips, you reluctantly part the slightest of distances, foreheads resting tenderly against one another.

“I’m in love you too. So bloody madly.” James whispers contentedly with a lovesick grin. 

You’re each donning smiles brighter than you can ever recall before.

The moment you’ve caught your breath you’re back at it again in full force, gripping at each others clothes and tangling nimble fingers through the other’s hair. James pulls back when your beaming smile makes it a little harder for him to kiss you, returning a smile just as wide that compels you to pull him back in for another kiss, or two, or three.

When the two of you finally feel satiated enough, James pulls back again, a noticeably farther distance. He’s still smiling but it isn’t quite as bright as it was a moment ago.

“What was all that about in the library, then? With Moony?” He asks you the question that’s been clawing at his insides for the last few weeks.

You pause, visibly confused as you shuffle through the files of your memories until you land on one a few weeks ago with Remus in the library. The two of you were discussing a friend who’d asked you on a date. You’d declined as politely as you could, valuing his friendship but knowing your heart had long since been beating for James.

“What about it?” You smile confusedly.

“Well, you were talking about me, weren’t you?” James looks down to the floor, expression now almost devoid of the happiness that had previously overtaken every inch of his face.

“What?” You laugh briefly before it registers, not just his words, but the reason he’s been avoiding you for the last few weeks.

“Wait- James!” You tilt your head into his line of vision, gently cradling his face with your hand as you turn his head to face you fully, “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? You thought.. Oh, Merlin.”

You pull him into a hug, holding him tight enough to convey just how wrong he’s been.

“I was talking about Amos Diggory.” You state with a gentle exhale, something between a laugh and a sigh, pulling back you rest your arms at your sides. “He asked me to dinner.”

James doesn’t hide the relief that courses through his body, despite the slight scoff of jealousy he lets out at your final sentence.

“But,” You wrap your arms back around him in reassurance, looking up into his eyes that are once again sparkling with happiness, “I’ve been a tad busy, being in love with my best friend and all. So I told him no. Obviously.”

“Right, obviously.” James replies with a cheeky smile that makes your heart skip a beat.

“You’re a git, you know.” You roll your eyes, the action a mixture of lovesickness and frustration. “You could’ve just asked me then. Instead of hiding in the books like a proper stalker. And then avoiding me. For weeks,” You’re smiling, but you know you’re still getting your point across, “You git.” You punctuate your final word with a gentle swat to James’ chest, smiling adoringly when he grabs that hand and brings it up to his lips, placing a tender kiss to it before dropping your intertwined hands back at your side.

“I know,” He admits apologetically, “I’m sorry.” He’s smiling breathtakingly, “Still love me?”

You can’t find it in yourself to be upset with him, because in some roundabout way, it’s what led you to this moment right now, where you can reach over and kiss him if you want to.

And you want to. 

Pulling him into you by the fabric of his shirt, you plant another kiss upon James’ lips. The passion and tenderness in the kiss meld together just as perfectly as your lips do.

“Yes.” You mumble happily when your mouths finally break apart. “Always.”

[cameronspecial]

Candle-Lit Dinners

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Suggestive Ending

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Request by @arim250: Hey! Kinda was thinking a request whenever u can. something w either drew or rafe about celebrating yn bday (bc my bday is coming lol) Ik I said my bday is the 25th but doesn’t have to be said that day maybe just around the holidays or however u would want to write it… he plans a romantic evening a restaurant or made at home food reader maybe comes home and there’s rose petals/candles food and ending w a sexy night I wouldn’t want to be like smut but still something around there lol

Masterlist

Her parents took Y/N out to lunch and she spent the afternoon with them at the mall. She watched a movie, did some shopping, and was now ready to go home to her boyfriend. She opens the front door to find rose petals leading into the dining room. The house is filled with the aromatic smell of spices from her favourite meal. Creamy Thyme Chicken with Sautéed Apples and Mushrooms. She pads her way toward the candle-lit dinner and Rafe is standing over the table, pouring wine into glasses for them. “Happy Birthday, Baby,” he wishes with a smile. He comes around the table to take the bags out of her hands and kisses her lips. The bags drop to the floor by the archway. She grins at him, “Thank you. Dinner looks delicious.” He pulls the chair out for her and pushes it in once she is seated. “You’re welcome. What did you do after I dropped you off?” he questions. Y/N and Rafe had an early breakfast together before going to the beach to spend time on the sand. It was too cold for them to go swimming. There, he gave her her gift of a necklace with his initials on it. She takes her utensils in her hands, “We had lunch at the country club and then we watched that new rom-com that came out yesterday. I did some shopping too. What have you been doing?” 

They begin eating and Rafe’s leg reaches out under the table to twine with one of hers. “I’ve been preparing for all of this. I went grocery shopping because I didn’t want to buy the ingredients early and have you figure out my plan. It took me a while to figure everything out,” he replies. Her eyes look up from her dinner to stare at him through her lashes, “Well, thank you for going through all this trouble for me.” “No problem, Baby. Anything for my girl, especially on her birthday,” he says, leaning across the table to kiss her. 

The meal is finished over the course of an hour. The lovers take the time to talk to and be with each other. After dinner, he lets her help clean up because he knows she just wants to spend time with him. They finish the dishes and she orders him to stay downstairs. She dashes upstairs with the shopping bags she brought home, changing into a certain outfit she bought for today. She returns downstairs and watches the growing boner in her boyfriend’s pants. She motions towards it, “I see you like my gift to you.” He nods vigorously and beckons her forward. “It’s your birthday. I should be showering you in gifts,” he points out, pulling her onto his lap. She sits back on his knees as she straddles him. Her hands play with the hairs on the back of his neck, “I can think of a few ways that you can give me more presents and they could all be given right now.” “I think there are too. I think we have maybe five more gifts for me to give you,” he agrees against her lips. She giggles, “Five. That’s a lot.” “What can I say I’m a generous man,” he teases. They spend the night making passionate love by the candle-lit.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming

[oscarwetnwilde]

Manchester Evening News - Saturday 26 November 1988

James Wilby loves to play life dangerously. Never an actor to take the easy option, he didn’t work for five months after the award winning title role in Maurice.

It wasn't the film’s homosexual love scenes that kept him on the dole however. James's own lust for the right project to advance his career made him reject all the offers that poured in. “It just takes one bad film and it can put you back miles,’’ he says.

Now following the major success in the starring role of the classic story of A Handful of Dust, blond, handsome James Wilby is taking chances again.

Not content with dominating all the dashing British screen roles in the Jeremy Irons mould, he's starring in A Summer Story, a distinctly unfashionable love story in an age when violent cop thrillers and special effects films top the box office.

“The challenge -- and it is quite a challenge-- is to get the mood absolutely right,’’ he says of the turn-of-the-century West Country story.

“What’s interesting about a love story is not two people falling in love it’s two people falling in love, in a particular way. And it's getting that right.”

No time was it harder than in nude scenes played between James and his pretty co-star Imogen Stubbs in a freezing West Country river and a hay loft at dead of night with temperatures plummeting.

“You have to be relaxed because the camera picks everything, every tensing muscle. It’s not easy to be totally relaxed and gaze lovingly into somebody’s eyes with technicians standing around watching!

Born in Rangoon and after an itinerate early life in Burma Ceylon and Jamaica James eventually took up acting as a hobby while studying maths at Durham University.

His hobby turned into an obsession and he ended up being accepted by RADA, which in turn led him straight into the West End cast of Another Country, the story of spy Guy Burgess, which also launched the careers of Rupert Graves (Dance With A Stranger) and Colin Firth (Tumbledown), and a vital Equity’ card.

Following that run the die was cast and Wilby started getting calls for roles that demanded his fresh-faced public schoolboy look.

“Am I worried about being typecast in classical roles? Yes, but all my parts so far have been very different, it’s only journalists who want to lump them all together.”

After a day spent as an extra on the worldwide Merchant/Ivory hit A Room With View-- “I was furious, my agent was promised it was a speaking part,” -- he was offered the lead in E M Forster’s autobiographical Maurice.

“I’ve no regrets at all about doing Maurice,” says James, who despite not having a holiday in four years managed to take one day off from work marry his long-time girlfriend.

“I don’t think I’ll play such a fascinating role for years. You get one those that fits you like glove every years or once in a lifetime.”

[writtenonreceipts]

Rowaelin Month Day Three: Rowaelin as Teens @rowaelinscourt

This is a prologue of sorts, the rest of the fic will come closer to the holidays, hopefully—unfortunately my fic writing will be slowing down massively here in the next little bit.  But, I’ve had this idea on the brain for a year now, so here we are!  I’m hoping this’ll only be 3 parts total, depending on how part two goes…

Rowaelin Month Masterlist Main Masterlist

Warnings: mild (teenage) angst, references to parental death. 

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Like Best Friends Do—Part One

It was December eighteenth and the first snowfall had finally come to Terrasen.

Usually, the snow was a perpetual problem for the city beginning in late October and not slowing down until mid-April, at least.  This year was different.  And Rowan didn’t know how he felt about that.

He’d never been one for change if he were being honest with himself.  Even at eighteen years old (his birthday only occurring a few weeks ago) Rowan had learned that change incited problems.  Problems led to conflict.  And conflict made way for misery.  He knew the path quite well and was not welcome to any sort of change.  Ever.

Which was why he sat in his beat-up Honda just outside of his best-friend’s house.  Tradition demanded it.

He wasn’t waiting long when a shape dashed across the sidewalk toward him.  With far too much energy and fervor, Aelin Galathynius threw open the passenger door.

“Sorry, sorry!” she said as she tossed a grocery bag across the console at him. “I know I’m late.”

Rowan caught the bag easily and shook his head. He couldn’t be mad, not at her.

Aelin stuck her head in the car and scowled.  She wore a ridiculous winter hat with ear flaps, her blonde hair in a wild mess of waves beneath it.   “I couldn’t find any marshmallows because I live with a bunch of heathens apparently.”

She then eased into the car taking care to balance two steaming thermoses in her hands.  With her blonde hair flying about her face and the pink tint to her nose and cheeks, she looked far more angelic than he knew she felt.  Though, Rowan wouldn’t say anything of course.  He couldn’t.

As Aelin settled the thermoses between her legs, she closed the car door and buckled up.  Then she grinned at him with that reckless abandon he was so accustomed to seeing.

“I am ready.”

For as long as Rowan could remember, he and Aelin had spent their Christmases looking at the lights.  At first, their parents would make a carpool even of it.  Holiday music blaring from the stereo, hot cocoa freshly made, and windows rolled down for the best view.  For the young, impressionable kid in the prime of childhood: it was magic.

Then of course, Rowan’s dad died.  That had taken some magic out of things.  He’d been twelve and an only child.  His mother, brilliant woman that she was, persevered.  She ran the small family farm with grace and dignity, never once thinking about letting it go.  She always insisted that change was just an opportunity to grow and she would grow right where she was, thank-you very much.

Still, Rowan had always hated change.

But even as Rowan struggled with grief over his dad—some things remained the same.

Ever since he’d gotten his license at the tick of his sixteenth birthday, he and Aelin often escaped on adventures of their own.  During the holidays it meant it was just him and Aelin going around to look at the lights.  It was always at her insistence and Rowan found it impossible to say no to her.  The music and cocoa remained even when their parents no longer took them out themselves.

“What is all this?” Rowan asked.  He poked at the plastic bag and sighed.  Sitting on top was a giant bag of chocolate.  Below he could see a baggie of baby carrots.  Just for him.  “Seriously?”

“Snacks!”

“I don’t like food in my car!” He knew it was a weak argument, the weakest of all arguments that could possibly be made.

She blinked at him with her big blue eyes and pouted.  The streetlamps filtered through the windows creating a halo around her.  It was impossible that one person could be so beautiful.  

“Please?  It’s Christmas!”

And Rowan, being in love with his best friend, sighed. “You’re insufferable.”

Aelin beamed at him and leaned across the center console to smack a kiss to his cheek. “I won’t make a mess, I promise.”

It was a lie and they both knew it.  Aelin wasn’t the best at remaining organized even when she did try her best.  To be honest, that combination was one of her most endearing attributes.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rowan said, though he couldn’t help the small smile that escaped him.

He pulled the car out onto the road and headed down the street to the first neighborhood.  

They were seniors in high school and had spent the last two weeks busy with finals and essays.  This was going to be a fun, easy way for them to relax before Christmas.  And Rowan, knowing Aelin was also stressed out over basketball, wanted to make this the best round of Christmas lights possible.

He’d already done some scouting earlier in the week.  He didn’t care as much about the lights himself, but there was something about watching the joy and wonder on Aelin’s face that sent flutters to his gut and brought a smile to his lips.  

She always found joy in everything.  She was someone who wanted to see good, to be good.  He’d admired it about her for ages now and was on the list of reasons why he loved his best friend.

Not that he actually wrote anything on that list down.  He wasn’t an idiot, anyone could come across it.  But he kept a mental tally of all the things.

“How’s your mom?” Aelin asked as they drove.  She sipped her cocoa and hummed happily. “Is she making it through alright?”

“Yeah,” Rowan sighed. “Summer was a good season, so we’ve got hoards of lavender and honey stored up to sell, so she’s happy about that.”

The farm had a few acres of lavender plants and three beehives which kept them busy during the summer months.  Winter, however, was where the Whitethorn homestead made its money.  Starting in mid-November the farm turned into a certified Christmas Wonderland.  For the last fifty years it had been dedicated to growing Christmas trees.  Something Rowan did not understand, but his mother loved it.  Tradition.  And Rowan was not one to step on tradition.

“You know, it’s kinda funny that you hate Christmas as much as you do,” Aelin mused.

Rowan rolled his eyes. “I don’t hate Christmas. I hate snow.”

“Which is even more funny, you were born on the coldest day of November, Buzzard, you should be thriving in this weather,” Aelin reminded him, as she so loved to do.

There was no arguing with her so Rowan only rolled his eyes and kept driving.  His phone lit up with a text message but he ignored it.  For just a little bit, he wanted to remain in this moment with his best friend.  And maybe then it would imprint upon his mind for years to come.

“Oh, I love this song,” Aelin said suddenly.  She turned the volume on high as Michael Buble began singing one of his famous Christmas songs.  

“You say that about all the songs,” Rowan pointed out.

Aelin grinned at him. “Because it’s true.  All the songs are the best.”

Rowan couldn’t help but return the smile.  

As Aelin hummed along to the music, Rowan turned into the first neighborhood he’d found the other night.

Immediately, they were flooded with bright lights and inflatable machines.  Aelin squealed and rolled down her window so she could lean out and get closer.  She pointed everything out to Rowan as though he couldn’t already see it himself.

But he didn’t care.  Not as she was singing along and laughing as she was.

They continued for over an hour going to as many different neighborhoods as they could.  As it crept closer to ten and some houses began shutting off their lights, Rowan pulled them off in front of Aelin’s house, knowing that her dad would be watching for them.  Best friends or not, the man had firm rules of where his daughter was and who she was with.

“What happens next year?” Aelin asked as a Nat King Cole song came on.  She turned the volume down so it was a low rumble in the background.

“Next year?” Rowan frowned.  Why would next year be any different?

“I’m going to Adarlan, you're going to Doranelle,” she reminded him.

Rowan sighed.  He’d forgotten that.  Different colleges practically at opposite ends of the continent.

“We’ll figure something out,” he said with a shrug. 

Aelin sighed and hunkered down in her seat.  She held onto her thermos, though Rowan was certain she’d finished her cocoa ten minutes into their drive.

“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I don’t like it when things change so much.”

Rowan reached over and took her hand, twining their fingers together. “I know.”

“You’re my best friend, Rowan,” she said looking up at him.  There was panic in her eyes, Rowan could see.  It was strange seeing something so out of control in a gaze that was usually so calm and confident. “And I don’t want to lose you.”

Rowan’s chest gave a painful tug.  “Aelin--”

He cut himself off before he could say what he wanted.  Because really, he knew that he’d never be able to tell her how he really felt about her.  Though, maybe that was for the best.  After all, if it came to having Aelin in his life versus not--he’d always chose the first.  

His phone went off then with an incoming call before he had a chance to debate his inner thoughts further.  Before Rowan could reach for it, Aelin snatched the phone up.  They always shared their phones that it shouldn’t have been an issue.  But Rowan knew who was calling him.

“Cairn?” Aelin asked, looking up.  Her face was illuminated by the pale glow of the screen as the call continued to ring through and the dim green and red that bounced off from the lights on her house. “Why would he be calling you?”

Rowan turned away, out toward the street where snow was beginning to accumulate.  The truth burned like acid in the back of his throat.

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered, “he needs help in history.”

“Finals ended last week.” Aelin practically threw his phone at him.  He could hear the displeasure dripping from her voice. “Seriously, Rowan?  He’s an asshole.  You can’t be friends with him.”

“We’re not!” Rowan dropped his hands from the car wheel and slouched in his seat. “C’mon Aelin, you know I don’t like the guy.”

“Then why’s he calling you?  You know what he and Erawan said about Elide, what Cairn tried with her.”  Aelin leaned back in her seat, simply staring at him.

“Which is why we’re not friends,” Rowan insisted.

The only reason Cairn was trying to call him was for something stupid, Rowan knew.  They played basketball together which supposedly curated comradery between them.  But Cairn wasn’t a nice kid.  They way he talked about the girls in their class and they had tried to spike Elide’s drink at a party a few weeks ago.  If Chaol Westfell hadn’t been the only sober one that night no one would have known…

But then Rowan had helped Cairn cheat on an exam so he could pass.  If he’d flunked, he wouldn’t have been able to play in the state finals…and…well.  Rowan never said he was a good person.

“Aelin,” he began.

But she was already throwing open the door, grabbing the empty thermoses and stuffing them into the now empty grocery bag.

“I gotta go, Rowan,” she said, not bothering to look at him.

“Aelin!” he yelled after her.  She slammed the door and trudged back up to her house.  

Rowan could only watch.  He waited until she was inside and he saw the shadow of her silhouette pass the front window, followed by the outline of Rhoe rising from the living couch.

Only then did he start up his car and drive away.

It wasn’t thirty seconds later when Cairn called him again.

“What do you want?” Rowan growled.

“Easy Whitethorn,” Cairn said on the other end.  He chuckled lowly and Rowan felt his hackles rise. “I just need a favor.”

“No.”

Another laugh followed by a shout from another person in the background.  Probably Erawan.

“What else are you doing tonight, Whitethorn?” Cairn asked. “Damn, boy.  You just wanna sit at home with your mama?”

The voice in the background spoke up louder. “Punkassbitch!”

Definitely Erawan.  Another, cruder, stream of expletives trailed after.

“It’s almost Christmas, man,” Rowan said.  He pulled his car over again, not wanting to drive and have this conversation.  His ma would kill him if he got into an accident. “So, yeah, I wanna be at home.”

“I’ll bring you a blankie to practice,” Cairn said.  Something clinked in the background; metal against metal that grated just a bit.  “You owe me.”

Rowan cursed to himself.  He wanted nothing more than to go back to Aelin’s, to pound on her door and beg her to let him in.

“Mr. Clark don’t like cheaters very much,” Cairn continued, “be a shame if someone told him what happened.”

“You’d be in as much trouble as me,” Rowan said.  He shut off the radio as his skin grew hot and panic began to swirl in his stomach.

“You wanna bet?”

It took too much effort for Rowan to ease his breathing.  Too much effort for him to calm down.  Hell.

“What do you want, Cairn?”

…

The warehouse seemed familiar to Rowan but he couldn’t quite place it.  They were in the cheaper side of the city, the side where everything was in disrepair and the video cameras were just for show.  The cops didn’t care what happened and the citizens knew their voices wouldn’t actually be heard.

Only recently a few local politicians had been making an effort of improving the area.  A few businesses had even tried moving in to give the lonely streets new life.

Hence the warehouse.

Why was it so familiar?

“Let’s go!” Cairn hissed.  He prodded Rowan sharply in the back.

They snuck down a shadowed alleyway around the back of the warehouse.  There was only one singular lamppost in the distance, but it kept flickering as though it would die at any moment.  Snow fell from the sky in lazy flurries, barely coating the ground.  The one time he would have actually been grateful for a snow storm.  Maybe that would have driven Cairn and Erawan back home.

Rowan gripped a flashlight in one hand and a pair of heavy bolt cutters in the others.  This was not going to end well.  He already knew it.  A chill swept through him in a mix of the actual cold weather and trepidation. 

Erawan led the way to a chain link fence, cutting along one of the poles and yanking the metal back.  Cairn ducked through the opening first, his own flashlight bobbing along.  The two had come prepared for this.  They’d planned it well too given how they moved.  Rowan was just a random extra body.  Someone to potentially blame this on if it all went sideways.

Erawan shoved him through the fence hole when he hesitated.

“Get off me,” Rowan hissed. 

“Then move!” Erawan snapped.  The stench of cigarettes and stale coffee wafted off of him.

Knowing better than to ignore the order, Rowan took off after Cairn.

“What’re we even doing?  You can’t think breaking into a warehouse is a good idea.” Rowan tightened his grip on his flashlight and wondered how much trouble he’d actually get in if he decided to whack Cairn over the head with the bolt cutters.  He was pretty sure he could out run Erawan if it came down to it.

Cairn didn’t answer, only led them to the side of the warehouse.  When Erawan reached them, he dropped the bag he was holding, it rattled with a messy noise of battered abuse.

“Just having fun.”

Which was how Rowan found himself gang tagging the side of a warehouse at one in the morning.  He shouldn’t have come, he knew.  The reality of the situation was beating relentlessly against the side of his skull with each pass he made of the green spray paint.  He should have told his mom what happened.  Should have gone to Coach Brullo who trusted him.  Should have—should have—

Erawan muttered under his breath as he spelled out a curse word in red paint, the c-u bleeding against the wall like a wound.  Cairn was practicing his anatomy skills and doing a terrible job.  And Rowan…Rowan just made splashes and slashes where he could.  That didn’t seem to offend the others, just as long as he did something.

“We should go,” he said after nearly half an hour.  A car drove by on the streets, slow and deliberate.  In the darkness he couldn’t tell the make or model and it only added to his panic.

While this side of the city was sketchy at best—people still talked and eventually the cops would show up.

Cairn scoffed and was about to say something—likely a mockery of Rowan’s want to get the hell out of there—when a burst of red and blue lights erupted across the street.

Rowan dropped the spray paint he was holding.  His mother was going to kill him.  He looked around, desperate for an escape while Cairn and Erawan were already halfway across the abandoned lot.  They didn’t get much further when a few uniformed officers flashed lights and their guns yelling for them to stop.

“On your knees!” One officer shouted.  It took Rowan a moment to realize the order was directed at him.  Coming up on his left was an officer, perfectly poised to take any necessary action.  

Falling to his knees, Rowan’s mind blanked out.  He did everything he was told to do, barely registering anything other than a muffled curse and an exclamation from one of the officers.

“They’re just kids.”

“Damn.  Just get ‘um cuffed.”

It wasn’t until Rowan was hauled to his feet that he managed to catch a look at the messy display of vandalism they’d created.  Only…Rowan finally latched onto the logo he’d noticed etched onto the metal door of the warehouse bay and his heart froze before his entire body seized up.  He knew that logo and he knew the name attached to it.

Galacorp.

Aelin’s father’s company.  That he’d just helped to vandalize.

“Let’s go kid,” the officer next to him said, guiding Rowan to his feet as he began to recite Rowan’s rights.

Rowan hardly listened.  Couldn’t.  Because in just the span of an hour his entire life turned over on its head.  He let the officer guide him to the police cruiser only tripping up when he caught sight of a familiar black SUV with tinted windows and sleek specially ordered rims.

Rhoe Galathynius leaned casually against the back of the car, arms crossed over his wool coat.  He watched Rowan closely with an unreadable expression.  And Rowan knew that nothing would ever be the same after this.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

will reblog with tags. Please consider reblogging so others see it! <3

thanks for reading.

[kernyen-xo]

Remember, my rock party?

My contribution. You’re welcome.

Puffer totes. No. The AMC Gremlin version of handbags.

Office holiday parties. I remember back in the day that the spending limit for a white elephant gift was $10. Now, it’s $25. The kid: “That’s nothing. Ours was $40.”

What??

We’re doing a potluck too. It’s been ages since I’ve participated in one because of Covid.

I’m traveling to my brother’s this coming Saturday for the holidays. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. But you know what? My throat is starting to feel scratchy. I don’t even remember the last time I got a cold. The kind that kicks your ass for a few days. Please don’t let me get sick.

If you haven’t watched Quiz Lady on Hulu, I recommend that you do. It’s a light-hearted comedy that stars Sandra Oh and Awkwafina. I thought they had good chemistry together. Sandra was funny in her role.

I haven’t done any reading lately :-/. I know. What’s up with that?

Everything above this sentence, I wrote last night.

This morning I woke up with a full-blown sore throat. I can barely swallow. So, today I stayed home, but still plugging away doing work stuff. I ordered drugs via Door Dash. I’m desperate. I have plans, man! I can’t get sick.

Anyway.

Enough of that.

It’s raining like crazy over here, which I enjoy as long as I don’t have to leave my home. I’m gonna make a steamy hot cup of tea and drop a honey flavored cough drop in it.

I got this.

Toodles -xo

[ctrldoll]

Snow & Wreaths

Geto/GN!Reader, Exes, Christmas Cheer and Fluff.

From Reedsyprompts: Write about a character who visits their hometown for the holidays and reconnects with a former love interest.

A little Christmas gift, My Love!!!♡🎁🎄🌟

3.1k words.

Snow covered the small town as it fell from the sky to the ground. Flickering lights of gold, red and green shone brightly on the streets, neighbourhoods and houses of many as Christmas cheer bloomed in the air.

Geto sighed as he stepped out of the house, Mimiko and Nanaba right on his tail, smiles on their faces as they took in the cold atmosphere and the colourful environment around them.

Geto didn't intend to visit his family. He considered it too risky with the twins around him, but he wanted them to see the beauty in where he came from.

“Hmm...” Geto let out a sigh as he looked at the text on his phone.

Hey, Geto. Hope you're doing well. You’re probably in your hometown by now but if you’re interested, I’m hosting a Christmas party. You can bring the twins too! It'll be fun! We miss you.

-S.G

The phone was placed in Geto’s pocket, the message left on read, just like the others he received ever since his betrayal. The others didn't want to understand his ideologies so he didn't pursue the fantasy of being back with them. He'd likely have to face a death sentence and the twins would either be killed or indoctrinated.

“Look!” Mimiko beamed. “Is that a giant gingerbread cookie?!” Nanaba finished her twin’s sentence and stood, wide-eyed at the cookie that was on display next to other cookies when they entered the bakery.

“Girls, manners. What did we say about yelling in public spaces that aren't the outdoors? Yes, it is a giant gingerbread cookie.” Geto smiled and nodded at the “Sorry.” He heard both twins whisper as they bowed their heads down in shame. A pat on both of their heads and an “It’s alright.” from Geto brought them back to life with smiles on their faces.

“They’re just wonderful, aren't they girls?” Geto heard a gentle voice say and turned to find a wonderful memory from his past kneeling on the ground and talking to his daughters the twins.

“I hear that today they are extra special because they knew that two girls would love to see them. I’m sure that they're happy to see you both.” You smiled at the wonder that shone in both of their eyes.

“How did they know that we would show up here?” “Geto must have told them. He did say that Christmas is a special time of the year?” “If he did, we would have known because he isn't too good at hiding stuff.”

“Hey, who says I'm not good at hiding stuff?” “Tell that to my birthday gift. You talked so much about Pinkie Pie and how much I love her and how you were sure that I was going to love the surprise you got me”. Mimiko said and giggled alongside her sister at the look of fake exasperation on Geto’s face. “Alright, alright. It was one time, though. I didn't tell the cookie about you guys, though.”

“That’s exactly what Christmas magic is about. Maybe Santa told them that there were two good children who deserved a treat.” You said and stood up. The girls cheered and dashed to line up.

“I just know they'll get a sugar rush with you around. It's hard enough putting them to bed.” Geto chuckled and brought out his hand for shaking. “Hi, Geto.”You said and shook the man’s hand. “Hi, [Y/N]. How are you?” Geto asked, a drop of the familiar feeling in his chest at the smile that appeared on your face.

“I’ve been well. I'm currently on break and will be running to my station in the kitchen as soon as it's over.” You said, smiling as a slight amount of heat appeared on your cheeks. Gosh, Geto got even cuter and the feels were desperate to come in.

“[Y/N], you know better than to fall for him the second you see him. Get it off your mind!”

“Geto? Is that you? I haven't seen you in a while! Gosh, you've gotten so big since the last time I saw you, and even more handsome! Isn't that right, [Y/N]?”

“Mum!” You exclaimed, embarrassment flowing blood to your cheeks as Geto laughed beside you and patted your shoulder.

“Hello, Ms. [L/N]. How are you?” Geto shook your mother’s hand. “I'm doing well, Geto. I'm just running the bakery as always. Luckily, I now have my precious child to help me out.” She winked, giggling at your face which annoyance showed through. “Seems like they're doing a pretty good job.” He praised you and watched with amusement as you thanked him. A smile appeared on both of your faces. Ms. [L/N] noticed.

“Look’s like my break’s over. Gotta get back into it. Bye, Geto. See you, Mum” You said and proceeded back into the kitchen.

“Oh, [Y/N]. I forgot to tell you. Abigail had an immediate personal matter to get to and left after you. Michael and Amaya are helping me out in the kitchen which only leaves you to handle the counter. So, save that goodbye for a moment longer.” Your mother informed you, a spark of mischief in her eyes as she looked at you. You saw it and rolled your eyes, smiling. “See you at the counter, Geto.” You said, smiling then walked away.

“Your children are adorable, Geto. How old are they?” Your mum asked, making Geto widen his eyes for a moment. They're both seven and I recently adopted them.” “You’re raising them by yourself?” “Yes, Ms. [L/N]. They're quite adorable. I just hope I'll do a great job”. Geto admitted and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Raising kids certainly isn’t easy.” Your mother said, looking at the twins as their excited giggles were heard across the store as they got closer to the counter. “But I'm very sure you're going to do an amazing job at raising them. Don't be too hard on yourself. The girls need you to have a strong mind. Just say so, and I'll provide you with assistance whenever needed.”

“Thank you, Ms. [L/N]. I really appreciate it. I hope that I can be as good of a parent as you are.” Geto praised, earning a smile from the older woman who hugged him and then let go with a rub on both sides of his arms.

“Geto! We’re next! Come here!” “Nanaba, Geto said that we shouldn't yell. Weren't you listening?” Mimiko scolded, making Nanaba turn down her head in shame.

“Nanaba, thank you for informing me but Mimiko's right. Mimiko, everyone makes mistakes but thank you for informing Nanaba on what is right.” Geto said and ruffled the twins' heads through their winter masks. Both girls giggled as they shook him off, then looked at one another.

“I'm sorry, Nanaba. I shouldn't have talked to you like that”. “I'm sorry, Mimiko. I should have listened to Geto”. Nanaba apologised and hugged Mimiko.

An “Aww.” slipped from your lips and Geto gazed lovingly at the two. “We’re next.” Nanaba said, breaking out of the hug, took Mimiko’s hand in hers and headed to the counter.

“What can I get two adorable girls I see today?” You beamed as the two girls who had their eyes taped to the assortments kept on display.

Mimiko, suddenly shy, turned to Geto. “Is it alright if we could have a giant gingerbread cookie?” She asked while Nanaba had a slight pout on her face as they awaited his response. “Sure, girls. Could we have three giant gingerbread cookies, please?” Geto turned to you. “Sure. A little birdy told me that these were on the house. Along with these Christmas cookies”. You said, letting out a laugh as your mum backed from your ear. “Ms. [L/N]. It's alright. I can pay for-”

“Geto, it's been a while since I've seen you. Consider this a welcome back”. Your mum responded, smiling when she saw Geto place his wallet back in his pocket as the girls cheered at the addition of treats.

“Thank you, Ms. [L/N]. Thank you, [Y/N].” Geto thanked, smiling as he took the packages from [Y/N]. “You’re welcome.” You both said in unison and dodged the other when they let out their hand to pinch them. “No pinches.” They once again said in unison and Geto laughed and the twins giggled as they watched the interaction.

“Thank you, Ms. [L/N] and [Y/N].” Minako thanked. “Yeah, thank you.” Nanaba poked at the cookies while Mimiko slightly tugged at his shirt. “They can’t wait to try out the cookies. They'll love them as much as I do.” Geto said as he removed two giant gingerbread cookies and gave one to each of them.

“Thank you, Geto”. They said in unison and an “Ow!” was exclaimed by Minako when Nanaba pinched them. “You didn't say ‘No pinches’. ” Nanaba giggled as she ate her cookie and savoured the flavoursome taste of ginger and sugar from both the icing and the cookie.

“These cookies are amazing.” Minako spoke for both of them with a wide grin on her face then continued chewing while Nanaba nodded while she ate. “Santa’a gotta treat us more often”. Nanaba said once she finished chewing.

“He knows everything, doesn’t he?” You smiled at them after serving another customer. “Definitely.” Nanaba responded, giggling as she eyed the cookies that remained in the bag.

“Bye, [Y/N]. Bye, Geto. Bye, girls.” Your mother said, hugging each one of you. “Ms. Sullivan's here and I have to know why Ms.Amara fought with her husband. Goodness, Mr. Amara has to admit that he’s been sleeping with their neighbour's maid. Everyone knows it. We’ve tried telling her about it from the weekly book club to the chess club and the yoga classes but she’s in denial. But, it’s not my business anyway. Let's not involve ourselves.” Your mum whispered and with a smile, she was off.

“Geto, who are they? They seem like they know you a lot.” Nanaba commented, looking at you and your mother.

“This is [Y/N]. They were a great friend of mine throughout my childhood here. The other woman’s [Y/N]'s mum. She was a great friend of mine as well and babysat me when my parents were busy.” Geto said, heart slightly pulsating as the word 'friend' came out of his mouth. Almost as if he was repulsed by it. He could tell that you felt the same way when your smile didn’t reach your eyes. You were alright with him defining you as a ‘friend’ to the twins as they were too young to understand what went on between the both of you. You just didn't like that it showed how your relationship turned out.

“Yes, we spent our childhood with each other. If you want any embarrassing stories about him, I'll gladly tell you. There was a time when he decided to lick a metal pole during wintertime just to see whether his tongue would get stu-”

“No, [Y/N]- they don't need to know that.” Geto stammered, embarrassed as the twins began laughing.

“Did you get stuck?” Nanaba asked as she giggled. “How did you get unstuck?” Mimiko giggled as they watched a slight blush appear on Geto’s face.

“Yes, he did get stuck.” You stopped to giggle alongside the girls as Geto’s face reddened. “Luckily my mum came out to check up on us when she heard children screaming and laughing and saw Geto crying. We were all scolded, of course, and warm water was poured on it and it came right off.” You said, giggling as you looked at Geto who glared at you, stifling a laugh.

“Alright. No one's going to be hearing embarrassing stories about me or telling them.” He said, shaking his head as he smiled at them.

“Okay, Girls. We have to go home. Bye, [Y/N]. See you later.” Geto announced after talking to you for a bit more. “Bye, [Y/N]!” “See you later!” The twins said their goodbyes and departed alongside him. “Bye, see ya!” You waved goodbye and smiled as the trio waved back. Geto’s gaze lingered a little longer, smiling as his eyes seemed wanton. You smiled back then looked away, avoiding his interest. He noticed and his smile lowered as he looked away.

“It would never work out between us. I have to stop trying to indulge myself in him. He has to go back to Tokyo soon. Why does he have to be so handsome? Long-distance relationships don't work out half of the time. We’ve been together and it didn't work out. What's the point of trying again?”

“Gosh, I miss them. I shouldn't feel like this. It's been years since we were together. It wouldn't work out. It didn't work out the first time, It wouldn't work out this time either. Why do they have to be their adorable self?”

“Nanaba! Look at my snowman! It's way better than yours!” Mimiko yelled, shuffling more snow into her snowman’s tummy. “No, it's not! Look at mine! The only thing missing is a carrot nose while yours doesn't even have a big enough stomach!” Nanaba responded as she fetched a carrot stick from her schoolbag and placed it in the snowman.

“I'm fini-” Nanaba paused and a downcast expression appeared on her face as she watched the carrot fall, along with half of the snow face.

“Ha!” “It's not funny, Mimiko!” “Hey, hey. You guys have been at this for a good minute. Three snowmen later and neither of you guys have won, either because the other hasn't accepted they have lost or you both didn't like something about your snowman.” Geto said, quite tired of their arguing and needed peace.

“Hey! How about we have a little competition?” “[Y/N]! That is exactly what I'm trying to prevent!”

“Hear my point out before you judge, Geto. How about we split into teams of two and whichever team wins gets extra marshmallows on their hot chocolate, sponsored by yours truly.” You announced, mischievousness in your eyes as the two children smirked at one another and dashed to start first.

“Geto! Come on, we're going to lose!” You shouted at the man as you dashed to a spot not far from the children, where you could both see them and be able to reach them quickly if anything happened.

“You’re so damn childish, [Y/N]. Geto rolled his eyes but smiled as he watched you pile up snow, and began filling his hand with it. “Children love this. Gosh, you're lucky to have Nanaba and Minako as your own. They're such wonderful girls.” You said as you took five big coloured buttons from your coat. You bought many just for this activity. “Yes, they are. I love them so much.” He said, a gentle smile on his features as he thought about them. You smiled at the gentleness of his gaze while you continued with your activity.

“Why couldn't you just settle for rocks?” Geto asked, quizzed as he placed a red button in the middle of the snowman's tummy. “It's much more exciting that way. Makes it more magical.” You responded, shaping the head of your snowman.

“This attitude is exactly why I fell for you.” Geto was too slow to prevent it from slipping out of his mouth. You paused, taking in his words. Your heart hammered in your chest as your brain slowly processed his words. “Um...that’s great.” You awkwardly responded, the atmosphere tense as you both knew the heavy weight his words carried and the potential to make it tenser with every word said next.

“I- I'm so sorry, [Y/N]. I shouldn't have said that.” Geto apologised, nervous as he watched you ponder over his words. “I get it, Geto. You coming back here has sparked feelings I thought I gave up a long time ago. We both know we can't pursue them though. You’ve got the city and I’ve got my university abroad to think about. The long-distance was the exact reason we left each other in high school. You had Jujutsu High and I couldn't be the reason why you didn't go or got distracted. It's the same pattern right now.”

“Are you suggesting that it means that we're not meant for each other?” Geto exacted, staring at [Y/N] who remained silent long enough for him to know their response.

“Look, Geto. We began talking to each other after, I don't know, six years? I don't even know what you're up to nowadays and you don't know anything about me right now. I can't pursue you and you can't pursue me if we haven't even said a thing to one another for a long time.” You said, ticked off at the lack of understanding he seemed to have.

The two of you were quiet for a moment, idly watching the twins as they searched for twigs to use on the snowman. “Shit, you're right”. Geto finally said and turned to you who hummed in response. “I know.”

“How about we try being friends again? We can’t avoid what we are feeling for one another so let’s try to be close to one another.”

“Just to test the waters, if you want, of course.” Geto quickly added, blood flowing to his cheeks as he awaited their response and hoped that he hadn't offended them.

“He wants to test the waters? I don’t know about it. He wants us to be close like we used to be and he’s right. I can’t deny my feelings for him. It would be nice to know more about him and decide whether to pursue my feelings or not.”

“Alright.” You finally responded, placing the button eyes on the snowman. “We can try to be friends again.”

“Thank you, [Y/N].” Geto responded, relieved at your response. A sigh fell from both of your lips as you gazed at one another, smiles on your faces as you finally allowed each other to take in the comforting presence of one another.

“[Y/N]! Geto! Our snowman’s better than yours!” Nanaba cheered, waving her hands at the both of you as Mimiko adjusted the scarf placed on the snowman.

“Ours just needs a nose and then it's going to be way better than yours!” You said then picked up the carrot. You pushed it a little too deep, causing the face to fall off. (You let them win, ofc!)

“Ours wins! Yes!” The girls cheered and high-fived and ran across the park in happiness.

“Yes, girls. You won. [Y/N] owes the both of you lots of marshmallows now.” Geto teased, smirking as you laughed. “Aww, guess we lost.” You said, looking at Geto as you put on a sad face. “You’re the one who bet, so you have to do it.” “Fine.” You grumbled, stifling a laugh at the children’s happiness.

“I know a great place to get hot chocolate! Let’s head there right now.” You said, getting your bag from Geto’s hands as the girls began packing.

You felt a hold through your glove and lifted your hands to see Geto's blue gloves over it. Geto held your hand, a gentle smile as he gazed at you. You smiled back, tightening your hold on his hand for a moment, showing that it was alright for him to hold it.

You both knew that it would be slow and steady but nothing else was better.

[cbrownjc]

"Endgame" this and "Endgame" that... part of what I really liked about VC when I read it for the first time is how much the characters subverted typical heternormative values- and part of that subversion is that the characters aren't monogamous. I know that when people say "Dont worry, the showrunners have already made it clear that Loustat is endgame" they're just trying to comfort the anons who are majorly doomscrolling, but at the same time I feel like its kind of misleading non-book readers to not

Hey Anon,

Sorry for the wait for my reply, but I wanted to think a bit before I answered because I think this is a kinda complex topic, and I didn't want to just dash off a quick answer. Plus, it's the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend here in the US, and I’ve had family visiting. So I only just finally have time now. Again, sorry for the delay.

Okay. Now, when the showrunners mean "endgame" for Lestat and Louis, I really do think they mean the final book, Blood Communion, ballroom dancing together, Louis-is-apparently-wearing-a-big-emerald-ring-and-is-Lestat's-consort ending. Now, I haven't read Blood Communion yet. I just got that book in the mail four or five days ago, so I haven't had time to read it, or its ending, for myself yet. But according to everyone that has read it, that is how that book, and basically the entire VC now, ends. With monogamous Lestat and Louis.

And I think EP7 of S1 gave a big hint to that ending with the ballroom dance between Lestat and Louis. The first season ended with a ballroom dance between them, and I think the final season of the show, whenever it is, will end with the same thing - a ballroom dance. Specifically, the one from Blood Communion.

Now, that all said? I think the show might've been hinting at the polyamory of Rice's vampires during S1, which it might go into during S2.

I'm just not overly confident that they will, simply because I don't know if viewers who aren't familiar with the books will really get it or not? Because there is still jealousy among vampires when it does come to the polyamory aspect too. It's just not "love triangle" jealousy.

I mean, let's look at Armand: part of Armand's whole thing is that he's angry and jealous that Lestat will never choose him as a companion/lover. But Armand would never have minded if he'd been chosen in tandem with Louis or anyone else Lestat chose. Many things in the first two books maybe wouldn't have happened if Lestat had just loved Armand enough in that way to be polyamorous with both him and (later) Louis.

That said, at the moment, I'm not sure if show-Louis is even into the idea of polyamory. ("Botched vampire.") Maybe because Antonette was a woman, Louis had no interest in her joining them in that way. (Also, Lestat wanting to replace Claudia with her is something Louis would have never okay'd anyway).

And even when it comes to book-Louis, the only time we ever saw him in a truly polyamorous relationship when it came to his and Lestat's relationship was when David Talbot joined them at the end of Tale of the Body Thief. Even though Louis didn't seem particularly interested in David that way, at least going by their interactions in Merrick, Louis never seemed jealous of David or Lestat's love for David.

Where I think the show might explore the polyamory idea is with Daniel-Armand-Louis. And that might be because Daniel was, and remained, human throughout his time with them. (Because yes, I do think Devil's Minion happened in the past, in the 70s and early-80s.) There was never a maker-fledgling dynamic at play between any of those three, which I think would also be a great way to explore Armand's whole outlook on that dynamic and why he never wanted to turn Daniel in the first place.

There are still power imbalances within a Daniel-Armand-Louis relationship, but not of the maker-fledgling variety, which is really where all the tumultuous relationships in the series seem to come from.

But it's still a "might" if the show will go there. I can see ways in which I think the show is setting it up ("our boy" when Louis talks to Armand about Daniel), but I'm still not sure yet.

So yeah, all that to say that while I do think many non-book readers are doom-scrolling when it comes to Lestat and Louis, I don't think book readers are really misleading them. Not really when it comes to the "endgame" of them being together since that is what happened in the final book.

But where I do think miscommunication comes in the idea that Lestat and Armand will have some knock-down, drag-out fight over Louis because of jealousy or whatever. Because, in the books, Lestat was never jealous about Louis being with Armand. Not because Lestat didn't love Louis fatally (to use Lestat's own words), but because Lestat never saw Armand's love and care for Louis as a rival to Lestat's own love for Louis. Lestat was actually thankful for Armand's love for Louis. Loving Louis basically meant that Armand would never destroy Louis, you know?

As I’ve said, the showrunners comparing the ending with Armand and Louis to The Graduate tells you everything you need to know. Ben and Elaine don’t hate each other in that final shot. They care about each other very much. It’s just “love of my life” love it is not. And I believe that is what we’ll see by the end of S2 with Armand and Louis. Even if it does start out passionate, that isn’t how it ends when they finally do go off together, and where we see them now in the present day of the story. However, because of their nature, even after everything that happens, there will remain love, care, and affection always between them. But it is not a threat to the love that Louis or even Armand has for anyone else as well.  

It took me days to figure out how to talk about this, and I still don't know if I'm explaining myself well. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that while Rice's vampires can and sometimes do get jealous of other vampire lovers, they never have knock-down, drag-out fights with each other over those feelings. There are no amorous love triangles. (Not in the sense of something like the Twilight series.) These creatures just crave love so much that they look for it everywhere and take it anywhere they can. And while hurt when they don't get it from someone whom they may wish it from, it doesn't lessen their love for anyone else they do have their love returned from.

And that might just be too complex a concept to try and get across to a general audience. As I said, I think the show might be setting up to try and do it in S2, but I'm not sure.

(BTW: to anyone who might ask, “well, what about Claudia?” In the books, Claudia’s whole deal was that she hated both of her dads. She calculatedly pitted them against each other, choosing to try and bind Louis more to her because he was easier to manipulate, as was revealed in the book Merrick. So no, that wasn’t any type of love triangle, either amorous or otherwise. And I think the show has been hinting at something similar too wrt Claudia.) 

[sl-newsie]

Merry And Bright (Dr. Spencer Reid x OC) *Christmas Special* 🎄

(Summary: A coworker is stuck working over the holidays, so Spencer takes them to look at Christmas lights to cheer them up… and maybe confess his feelings?)

Christmas is supposed to be ‘the most wonderful time of the year,’ as the song goes. But how can it be so wonderful when I can’t even visit my family? It’s been a week since my boss scheduled me to work over the holidays, due to the office being “overstaffed.” Basically nobody else wants to work and I’m too soft to say no. Now… Christmas seems so much darker.

“You feeling ok, Darlene?” Spencer asks from behind.

I shake away my sad thoughts and offer a weak smile. “As good as I can.”

Thank God for Spencer Reid. The smartest person I know, my favorite coworker, and a small- er, kinda big, crush of mine. I’ve been working as a secretary for half a year now, and in the short time we’ve known each other Spencer has proven time and time again to be the most supportive and caring person I’ve ever met.

“I wish I worked for the BAU instead. That way I might actually get a break for the holidays.”

Spencer chuckles and hands me a candy cane. “Crime doesn’t take a holiday. You still wouldn’t get a guaranteed break. We’ll all be on call over the holidays.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Spencer.” I take the candy cane and give it a lick. “Thanks. You remember how much I love candy. Before you go, I got a gift for you!”

“Aw you didn’t have to-” Spencer starts to object but then goes quiet when I hand him a small package. “What on Earth…?” He tears off the wrapping and immediately gets a giddy smile. “Oh my God! Is this- is it-?!”

“An autographed photo of Doctor Who! I got it during my work trip to Britain last spring! Merry Christmas-!”

I barely get to finish before Reid suddenly sweeps me in for a hug. “Thank you so much, Darlene!”

“O- Oh! I didn’t think you were one for hugs- only handshakes-” I sputter.

Reid pulls away, almost looking as awkward as I must, and grabs my hand for a handshake.

“Right, right… Um, say if you aren’t doing anything after work tonight I was wondering… if maybe you’d like to go look at Christmas lights?”

Did I- did I hear that right? “Reid, did you say 'look at Christmas lights?'” A smile spreads onto my face.

Spencer mistakes this as mockery. “I- I’m sorry if it seems weird, it’s just I remember you said you usually go out looking at Christmas lights with your family. And since you can’t go home for Christmas I thought I’d take you around.”

He… he remembered! “Spencer, I’d love to! But I couldn’t ask you to do that, you’ve probably already got plans. Heck, today’s Christmas Eve!”

But Reid shakes his head. “Actually, I don’t have plans. My mom’s been too busy for me to visit, and the rest of the team’s off doing their own traditions. Usually during Christmas I just stay home and read a few book series, but thought you might like some company. That is… if you don’t mind…?”

My smile grows wider. “Spencer, I’d absolutely love that!” I swivel around and start sorting my paperwork away, then grab my purse. “I was just about to clock out, and I can’t think of anything else I'd love more than to go see Christmas lights! I can’t believe you remembered!”

Reid keeps trying to think of what to say but instead stands there with his mouth hanging open, so I save him the trouble and squeeze his hand. 

“I’ll go bring my car around! I’m guessing you know all the best spots to look?”

“Y-Yeah- yeah!” Spencer gets a hold on what’s happening and starts following me to the coat closet. “I know a very big house Rossi always talks about that always decorates for Christmas. I think you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it! I’ll meet you out front!” I give a quick wave and dash off towards the parking lot door.

20 minutes later of laughing and listening to classic Christmas carols, Spencer directs me to drive down a street that, quite frankly, has some of the biggest houses I’ve ever seen!

“Jeez, Spencer. This is the richy-rich-rich neighborhood! This place has got to have some nice decorations!”

Sure enough, the farther we drive down the street the more exquisite and extreme the decoration displays become. Gorgeous nativity scenes, cute reindeer, and so many lights that the entire street is lit up! Once we get towards the end, I start to see the cream of the crop.

“Oh my…” My jaw drops and I have to re-grip the steering wheel. “Spencer…”

The cute nerd chuckles. “I thought you’d like it. We can park right over here!”

I park to the side and we both step out to walk over to the giant display in front of us. By now it’s gotten colder and starting to snow.

“How cliché, a white Christmas,” Reid comments as he joins me on the sidewalk. “Be careful, there might be-”

“Oh God-!” I feel my feet slide out from underneath me and I start to slip-!

I feel lanky arms wrap around my waist and pull me up before I face-plant into the snow, bringing me almost face-to-face with Spencer.

“...there might be ice,” he finishes in a whisper. 

“Right. Thanks…” I catch my breath and fight to not keep looking into his chocolate eyes.

He blinks, then seems to get his thoughts together. “Right, um-” He helps steady me and shuffles away to give me space.

“Do they put this up every year?” I try to ignore the itching awkwardness draping the atmosphere and look back at the magnificent decorations.

“I think so. Rossi says they add something every year.” 

We take a few minutes to walk the edge of the fence and take in everything, then Spencer speaks up again.

“Darlene, do you still feel sad about missing out on Christmas?”

After a few seconds of thinking, I have to shake my head. “Actually, no. I’m not missing out on Christmas. I’m spending it differently, that’s all. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad I got to spend it with you.” I discreetly see a small blush grow on Reid’s face. “Still, I do miss my family. But there’s always Easter.”

Spencer nods in agreement. “When it comes to society, family is like the way of life that binds us all together. We all have our own routines and morals that can make each family similar but also individually unique.”

I smile at his philosophical words. “Especially when times are rough, it's assuring to turn to a comforting religion without having to worry about the corruption of humanity.”

“Society is the unavoidable way of life that binds us all together.” 

I can tell Reid’s about to start ranting, but I don’t mind. If anything, I like hearing him talk.

“Americans are subconsciously members of multiple social classes and in doing so they build invisible barriers towards members from different classes, hinting at social prejudice. We all have our own routines and morals that fit us into different social classes. As a society, we are each brought up to have a social role, like the stereotypes we think of.”

“Like the quiet one, the weird one, the loud one, the funny one…?”

He points at me. “Exactly! And if we wish to have a different social role, it’s difficult to change them because we are going against society’s expectations and therefore causing more pressure on ourselves. But if we are unhappy with our current roles, our mental health will still be affected.”

“Like a never-ending roundabout,” I think out loud.

“Huh?” Reid looks confused.

“You know, when you’re stuck in a roundabout and don’t know where to exit. Driving 'round and 'round and 'round. Um, as much as this is entertaining to talk about, what exactly is your point?”

Spencer’s face flushes again and he starts fidgeting with his hands, avoiding my gaze by looking back and forth from the house and the ground.

“Darlene, um… I didn’t just ask you to look at lights just to pass the time.”

I shrug and give him a small smile. “I know. You just feel sorry that I couldn’t go home and want to make sure I’m not alone on Christmas. And I thank you for that.”

But Spencer shakes his head and keeps avoiding my gaze. “No, that’s not it, it’s that- I- You- ugh.” 

He brings a hand to his forehead and tries to piece his thoughts together. I never thought I’d see the great Dr Spencer Reid so flustered. 

“Darling, I wanted to-”

My hand flies to my mouth and my eyes go wide. “Wait. What did you just say?”

Spencer tilts his head and rethinks his statement, then gasps. “Oh God- I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean-! Well, I…”

I hope he’s thinking what I think he is…

I harness my courage and, slightly trembling, grab Reid’s hand. “Spencer… Did you mean to say that? I didn’t even think you knew what pet names are.”

Reid’s just as tense as I am and finally lifts his head to meet my eyes. “This seems wrong. I was hoping to talk to you after the holidays. I’m not so smart with relationship rituals-”

“Spencer.”

“Yeah?” 

“Are you trying to explain how your feelings for me have grown differently from a workplace colleague?”

“Actually I’d phrase it more like- Oh. Um… yes.” Spencer looks down at our intertwined hands. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I know some women aren’t fond of pet names, it’s just that your name is Darlene and, well, darling just comes to mind-”

“I love it,” I reply with a smile.

Reid’s eyes widen. “You do? You’re not just trying to be nice? I’ll stop if you want-”

“Spencer, I love hearing you lecture but for once can you please let me talk?” I can’t keep the joy from spreading on my face. “I feel the same! I love seeing your different vests at work, how you always bring a different book to talk about. I love all your random facts, your mismatched socks! I love how you’re always so thoughtful to ask how I’m doing every day and actually care to listen!”

With every complement Spencer’s eyes go wider and his jaw drops, almost making me believe he’s about to start mocking me-

“D- Do you love… me?” He asks almost too softly for me to hear.

God, what have I gotten myself into? The cliché crush on a coworker? That’s either embarrassing or pathetic!

I struggle to find the right words. “I- You- We- It’s… Yes? Now before you start lecturing about how immature that is-”

“I love you too, darling.”

Before I can utter another syllable Spencer grips my hand tighter and pulls me in to press a soft kiss on my parted lips. For once in my life all logic flies out the window and all I want is him. I use my free hand to grab Reid’s scarf to pull in for a deeper kiss, and I feel him moan against my lips. After what seems like only milliseconds, we both have to pull away to breathe.

“Should have brought some mistletoe,” I pant. “You mean to tell me you wanted to take me here to ask me on a date?”

Reid groans but still doesn’t seem to regret the kiss. “Yes. I’d call that immature. But I’ve been waiting for over a month now, and I couldn’t wait any longer.”

I lean in to press a kiss on his warm cheek. “It’s the best Christmas present I could ever ask for, Spencer. Does this mean I’m yours now?”

Reid smirks and rests his head on top of mine, staring right at me. “I’m yours, Darlene.”

I smile and hug him closer, oblivious to the fluffy snow covering us as the bright Christmas lights illuminate this magical moment. “Merry Christmas, Spencer.”

“Merry Christmas darling.”

[carriagelamp]

What are the Christmas holidays for if not for being cosy and snug and reading a book? It has been a very pleasant December for me, and I've really gotten to indulge my love of reading winter themed books in winter

The Bellybuttons

A quebecois bande desinee I’ve heard about and decided to pick up the first book of — I read this one in English. It was pretty amusing! At times quite funny as it does a gag-a-page format pretty well, but also at times deeply frustrating since the series is predominantly about Karine, who is a sweet, somewhat awkward teenaged girl, and the rather nasty popular girls she’s “friends” with. Karine acts as a foil and a general punching bag for most of the book. It does make her standing up for herself at the end of the album deeply satisfying. A worthwhile read if you enjoyed Mean Girls and would like that in a comic format.

Bookshops & Bonedust

A prequel to Legends & Lattes that I’ve been very eagerly anticipating! In this book Viv is just beginning her career as a mercenary but has been laidlow by a injury. Forced to stay behind in a seaside town while her leg heals, she gradually gets drawn into the lives of the various town residents, including a beleaguered ratkin who’s desperately trying to keep her little bookshop afloat. Add in a dash of baked goods and necromantic plots, and it’s a really fun read! If you haven’t read the original yet, I highly recommend both it and this one.

A Christmas Story

I love this movie and only just realized it was originally based off a series of radio stories that were adapted into print. If you are unfamiliar with the Christmas film, it follows the Parker family through a series of mundane misadventures on the build up to Christmas, including Ralphie’s desperate need to get a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle for Christmas.

This book, A Christmas Story, collects a handful of stories from two different anthologies that were used when creating the iconic movie. It’s fun how many lines are word-for-word from the original stories; they’re all hilarious and the language is just fantastic. Hard to put down.

Every Heart a Doorway

A fascinating short story about a boarding school for the “chosen ones” who have returned from whatever magical world drew them in and then spat them back out. It’s a school of children who have learnt to survive in strange worlds built around strange, incomprehensible rules and who must now learn to re-adapt to the mundane world. They are all desperate to get back, to find their own doorways, and struggle with being trapped back in a world that doesn’t understand them. Things only get worse when the murders start.

Hogfather

One of my favourite Discworld novels. On the Discworld, it’s a boar-themed entity known as the Hogfather that travels around the world delivering presents to boys and girls on Hogwatchnight. Except this year something has happened. The Hogfather is nowhere to be found, and someone else has been forced to take his place. With Death now attempting to deliver holiday cheer, and his granddaughter reluctantly drawn into unravelling a plot on the Hogfather’s life, this is easily one of my favourite “Christmas” books to read. And the ending always hits me like a ton of bricks, it makes me really emotionally. Highly recommend the read, even if you’ve never touched a Discworld book before. As long as you like high fantasy and can suspend disbelief, it’s easy to jump into.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

So, this book absolutely destroyed me. Would recommend. I love this author, and this novel did not disappoint. It’s about a hand-crafted, specially commissioned, porcelain rabbit doll named Edward Tulane. Edward Tulane, with his exquisite wardrobe and delicate features, is beautiful and precious and he knows it. He doesn’t care anything for the little girl who loves him and resents her family who patronizes him. Everything changes for Edward Tulane though when, during a sea voyage, he is thrown overboard and finds himself separated from his girl and lost to the black silence of the ocean floor…

Moominland Midwinter

Magical and chilling, this book really understands and articulates the other side of the winter season. The longest nights of the year, the darkness, the cold, the way the entire world sleeps and changes and becomes strange.

Moomins always hibernate through the winter, but this year little Moomintroll wakes up early. He finds himself completely alone in the middle of winter while his family sleeps around him. He’s forced to venture forth and learn about this dark, strange season, to find the friends he can and come to terms with the harsh strangeness of winter while waiting for the sun to return.

A Mouse Called Miika

A very middling book. There is a mouse who lives in the North Pole. He likes cheese. He has a very unpleasant friend. He gets magical powers of some sort or another. He tries to steal a very important cheese. I genuinely don’t remember the plot well enough to go in any more detail. If you’re desperate to read something Christmassy, it’s not bad, but I wouldn’t bother seeking it out.

Beezus and Ramona // Ramona and her Mother

You know, I’ve never in my life read a Ramona book. I’ve read and enjoyed other Beverly Cleary books, but never the Ramona series. I ended up reading Ramona and her Mother first and afterwards I picked up Beezus and Ramona just to see how the series began. I can… see why it’s popular, especially for the time. It’s a fun, silly, slice-of-life series about the wacky hijinks of Ramona Quimby, a rambunctious kindergartener. I can really, genuinely say though that this is not a series made for me. Ramona and her Mother I found agonizingly dull, with only a few interesting moments interspersed. Beezus and Ramona was a bit more interesting, but they made Ramona so incredibly annoying that I could hardly get through it. Maybe part of the blame lies in me listening to an audiobook for that one and the narrator using the single most grating voice I have eve heard in my life, but my god it drove me nuts. 

System Collapse

New Murderbot book! New Murderbot book!! Woohoo! If you haven’t read the Murderbot series, go start on All Systems Red and continue from there, you won’t regret it! The series follows a synthetic being known as a Security Unit — an artificial construct that isn’t meant to be self-aware or self-governing, except that they are. When Murderbot succeeds in hacking its governor module and gaining full control of itself, it briefly considers going on a murderous rampage… until it realizes it’s much more enjoyable to just download a lot of soap operas into its brain and get on with things. In this new book, Murderbot continues on a mission with ART’s crew and those from Preservation. Things are heating up as Barish-Estranza attempts to take control of the planet, new SecUnits have been deployed, and there may or may not be a rampant alien plague. Worse yet, something is wrong with Murderbot, related to [REDACTED]. If it can’t figure out how to fix what’s wrong soon, its humans may soon be in peril.

Heaven Official's Blessing v5

I continue to read Heaven Official’s Blessing! I continue to love it! The desperate scramble towards Mount Tonglu has been a blast. I’m getting Very Concerned about what may or may not be the return of the White Calamity though… whatever is going on and whatever it is, everything seems like it’s heating up to some serious bad news in the next book.

Twelve Doctors of Christmas

An alright anthology of Christmas-themed Doctor Who stories. If you want something Christmassy and you want Doctor Who, this delivers. It’s festive, light, and has a few pretty good stories in it. However I wouldn’t say it was my favourite Doctor Who short story anthology by a long shot. Time Lord Fairy Tales or 13 Doctors 13 Stories are both more impressive story collections imho

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

“So, Vanilla, what have you been up to? You’ve been awfully quiet lately.”

Excellent question, person I made up in my head. I’ve been watching each and every one of the Pawmark Dash to Delibird Day movies released in The Year Of The Twin Dragons 2023. There are 42 of them, which deeply unsettles me.

But unfortunately I dedicated myself to the art of cataloguing Pawmark movies when I was a much sadder and lonelier Zorperson, and I’m too stubborn to quit now. (That, and they’re a guilty pleasure; sue me.)

So, below the cut is my ratings of some of them. About 10. Not all 42, I still have some semblance of a life. I did watch all of them though, so I guess if there's any Pawmark enthusiasts who really need to know my thoughts, you can send me an ask? Or you can ask me in-person. At my New Year's party. Which is still happening tomorrow. (Psst. Here's a link if you're interested: https://discord.gg/PkmkQEVF)

1. Celebi With You: Young career businesswoman comes back to her old hometown devoted to Delibird Day and nothing else. Grandpa asks her to take over the shop. She refuses because she has a career. Local childhood-friend-man in flannel gets sad. A Celebi takes her back in time to watch her grandparents’ romance as they open the shop. She changes her mind, gets with the male lead in a very rushed side plot, everyone’s happy.

This one’s a shaky 5/10. Points for not focusing the modern romance first and foremost, but it’s so sloppily done. There's no lead-up to the kiss. And I mean, it's Pawmark. There usually isn't. But give us some level of flirtation! Grandma and gramps are cute, though. Shame grandma’s dead for no reason other than “there must be at least one dead relative in a Pawmark movie”. Also, the CGI Celebi looks TERRIBLE. Like, eye-bleedingly so. That is an onion and a few pipe cleaner legs. I know they can’t get a real Celebi, but at least get a Ditto instead!

2. A Little Holiday Maschiff: The obligatory “turn your brain off and watch cute puppies” movie. Female lead recently lost her Stoutland. Somebody leaves a box of Maschiff puppies on her step in the winter cold. She takes them to the “hunk” at the Pokémon shelter, because she’s not ready to open her heart again, but the shelter’s on the brink of being shut down. They co-pup-parent and create a Delibird Day Pokémon Pageant to fundraise and save the shelter. Get in a fight because the male lead thinks she’s actually trying to get the shelter sold. They make up. They kiss. They adopt like 3 Maschiff puppies. The end.

8/10, but not because of the plot. The “fight” they have is absolutely idiotic. No, the reason I say 8/10 is because I can understand everything those little Maschiff have to say and their commentary is worth their weight in gold. Even if 90% of it is “Am I a good boy? Can I go for a walk after this? Why am I in a box again?”. So good. 4/10 for anybody who doesn’t understand Pokémon. At least the puppies are still cute to look at.

3. Snow Warning: Short summary here because it’s so generic. F!Lead gets caught in once-in-a-lifetime blizzard on her way home. Flight cancelled. Has to share a hotel room with smarmy male lead who looks down on her job as a novelist (and is also a wildly successful businessman). The two roadtrip their way down to F!Lead’s hometown so she can go see her sick dad. Grow a begrudging respect. Eventually they kiss for some reason. Also there’s a side-plot about how the guy actually pissed off an Abomasnow and caused the whole thing, but that wasn’t really interesting. ...Somehow. How do you mess that up?

2/10. The chemistry’s off. I get going for “you hate me so bad you want to kiss me” tension, but it really just comes off like the female lead ought to sock her "date" in the face already. Instead we get a weak “Sorry I called your books stupid. I read one page of your debut novel and it’s not. Can we kiss now?”. Yawn. Also, he never apologizes for the whole Abomasnow thing, which seems like a pretty massive oversight? If we're being realistic here, that's getting held over that man's head for at least a good five years.

4. Sawsbuck’s Greetings: A movie focused around the female lead, who runs a Sawsbuck farm that’s been passed down for generations, and the male lead, who kicks puppies for a living and wants to put a golf course there. But don’t worry, he learns after she makes a deal with him that if he stays on the farm for 30 days and doesn’t see the value of it, he can buy it. Because that’s how buying real estate works. The guy actually has some traumatic history with Pokémon that the saintly female lead helps him overcome. He cuts ties with his company, moves into the Sawsbuck farm, and they have the Pawmark Kiss.

3.5/10 for me. Not even the bored Sawsbuck save this (they are so, so bored). There’s no interesting side characters anywhere! No life! Also, I will say it once again: love does not heal trauma. They try to make it seem like this man goes from erring 50 feet away from “those horrid beasts” to snuggling up with a Deerling in the early AM all thanks to a woman's love. That is not how that works. Get therapy. (I say this knowing full well I would not be as critical if it were gay. Know your biases, folks.)

5. The Chingling Ring: This is one of their “Deli-Day Wedding” movies. A sequel to last year’s “The Chingling Sing”. Female lead gets cold feet about marrying male lead. They nearly break up to all of their friends’ constant dismay. But the woman's Chimecho works with her fiance to gather 25 Chingling to show her 25 places all key to her relationship with her soon-to-be husband. Of course he’s waiting at the 25th, they kiss, make up, happy wedding, baby at the end of it.

Surprisingly, a 6.5/10. The concept is a decent one, if only they didn’t have to stick to 25 arcdamn places instead of… five? Even 12, if you’re looking for something holiday-like but smaller. Each place gets no focus at all, because of course they don’t. It’s an 80-minute movie! The gesture is really romantic though. Chingling are so so adorable. And the male lead is genuinely sympathetic throughout. Just… agh, the rush. Also, do we always need a baby at the end of the wedding ones?

6. Special Delivery: Sort of a mystery movie, on the first female lead's side. (Yes, 1/2!) She, a detective, starts receiving mysterious gifts via Delibird from a ‘secret admirer’. Determined to figure out more, she goes on a hunt through the specifics of the gifts, the places they’re ordered from, and even tracks a Delibird itself. Along the way, she keeps confiding in her best friend, the second lead, about the situation. First lead thinks it's from her coworker, but no, it's a red herring. Lo and behold, it turns out the gifts are secretly coming from... the second lead! There’s a decent coming out/confession scene, which is a compliment for a film studio where movies are produced in 5 weeks. Pawmark Kiss. End film. (Too soon.)

I promise this is not just my lesbian bias (it is), but 7/10. The two leads truly understand the power of pining. Of yearning! …The gift situation is so blatantly obvious that it very much feels like the movie spins its wheels for a while, though. I feel like they were trying to have a twist, because the male lead's pretty heavily marketed, but he also falls flat as a character other than "hey, he's there, and he probably likes you". As a result, though, I thought I was going insane for thinking the leads had chemistry for the first 50 minutes until this film fully vindicated me, something that is incredibly rare with a Pawmark movie. They’d better make a sequel. That’s up-front about its being gay, and at least halfway decent.

7. Deck The Royal Halls: What would Pawmark be without its annual foreign prince movie. This time from the made-up kingdom of “Britain”. Where are they even pulling these names from now? Bog-standard, except the two leads also have to work together to handle the King getting possessed by the legendary Calyrex along the way. Because apparently the “old family heirloom” Hometown Female Lead brings as a gift to His Highness is actually its crown. Anyways, Calyrex demands the two of them get married in the name of the kingdom. They waver on this in some royal courtship, get into a fight, and eventually agree. Happily ever after.

4.5/10: This movie is so cluttered. There’s no good justification for why the female lead is there, why her family has this ancient treasure, and why it is so absolutely crucial she marry The Prince. Calyrex’s VA is very funny during the possession scenes though. So the movie gets an extra point. Calyrex trying to give Mr. Prince Guy a confession pep talk is genuinely one of the better written comedy bits I’ve seen on the channel in a while. Shame the CGI for Calyrex is... not very good. There's no way its head is that big.

8. A Champion Chrismas: So this is what they've had Champion Leon up to since he lost his title. The Battle Tower and paying him to take part in mass-produced rom-coms. Anyways, unfortunately for the female lead, who is absolutely trying her best, this movie is entirely about Leon--or Levi, and how the self-insert (AKA, female lead) saves him from his battling slump when he comes home for the holiday season to his totally-not-Postwick small town with his totally-not-Hop little brother. (who is, actually, played by Hop Laventon. How did they get all of these people???) Anyways, the female lead shows Le-whoever the "joy of Delibird Day" again, they kiss, Le-guy wins a big championship match with his Charizard for her and shouts her out on live TV.

6/10, purely because it's fun to see how non-acting celebrities deal with acting. Also, this is 100% somebody's Leon x Reader fanfiction that got brought to Pawmark's writing room and approved without a second thought. I love that for whoever that was. (Though pretending that definitely isn't Leon and he totally isn't dating Raihan is a bit ingenuous.) Anyways, the writing sucks. The poor heroine is the epitome of a self-insert, for very obvious reasons. But I will admit, I can see why Leon has so many fangirls. He's great at playing that sort of "charming, down to earth" guy. His little brother's pretty good at acting too! Even if he really got shoved to the side for the sake of the love plot. Always seems to be the case for that poor kid...

9. Operation: Present: A movie about... Santa from the future? I think somebody saw Iron Bundle and ran away with it a bit too much. (Also, they have a real Iron Bundle there. This scares me.) Anyways, in this movie, Santa's son appears in front of a social media "influencer" with an Iron Bundle and tells her that if she doesn't convince the world Santa is real, they'll fall into a dark timeline...? I'm so lost as to who wrote this. Is this still Pawmark? I guess it's tangentially Delibird Day-related. Anyways, these two go on a... social media campaign... to spark belief in Santa. Livestreams, Chatters, anything a 60-year-old exec believes is part of social media usage, it's there. But actually, Ms. Influencer doesn't even believe in Santa herself, so they get in this big fight, until Santa's Son gets this notification that Christmas is saved or whatever. They make up. They kiss. I am so lost.

2/10, I am relatively sure this movie was made by drawing ideas out of a hat? And shoving them together? So it's a time-travel, social-media, robot-Delibird, Santa's son, romance movie? Why did they not pick an angle. Any one of those could have worked as an angle. As it is, I feel like I'm going insane even trying to describe the plot. ...And yet I feel as though I know several people this could happen to. Such is the reality of our multiverse.

10. Don't Have A Bird: Okay, they clearly used all of their ideas on the last movie. Because this one is about a woman who works at an Unfezant tip line. As in, a tip line on how to cook Unfezant at the holidays. (Which feels more like a Thanksgiving movie, but I digress!) And a man. Who is trying to cook an Unfezant. That's... the entire plot. The whole thing. Though the woman is also secretly romancing the man in real life! ...And on... the Unfezant tip line. That feels like a blatant violation of phone line policy, but what do I know! The Unfezant Guy feels betrayed by this until The Unfezant Girl brings by a perfect Unfezant, and the day is saved. Hooray.

1.5/10. Who wrote this. Who approved this. Why is it about an arcdamn Unfezant Tip Line. How far down do you have to dig for this idea. Who in the writing room called in to figure out how to unfuck their completely dry, flavorless Unfezant, and thought "You know what would be romantic?" On the bright side, absolutely none of the actors take this movie seriously, thus warranting an extra .5 points. They earned it. Nothing else did. (//Mod note. Based on a real fucking Hallmark movie.)

[kipscorner]

-- Anything in parentheses (abc) feel free to delete! -- Anything in square brackets [abc] feel free to change! -- This is a long post, so please remember to tag “long post tw” or some kind of varient of the sort so you don’t clog mobile users dashes/people who don’t have “shorten posts.” turned on! :D

“Doesn't this seem like a bit much?”

“This is what Christmas is all about! Can't you feel it?”

“You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.”

“Serves them right, those Yuletide-loving sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers!”

“I really don't like them. No, I don't.”

“I've been much too tolerant of these (Whovenile) delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks.”

“So, they want to get to know me, do they?”

“I guess I could use a little social interaction.”

“Yeah, you bet. Ho, ho, ho, and stuff…”

“You see, [name]? The city is a dangerous place.”

“Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.”

“Well, it's just, I look around at you and [Mom] and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn't this seem...superfluous?”

“I think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or defacing public property, or....”

“Take a look at his mailbox, (sweetie). Not a single Christmas card, in or out… Ever!”

“And for the rest of you: Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty! Blackmail. Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice. Jury duty!”

“Well, that worked out nicely.”

“[Max], let's go. Our work here is finished.”

“Don't you know you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you? What's your problem? Are you a wild animal?”

“Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing? Wrong-o.”

“You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping! I am so proud of you.”

“My, I've never seen so many beautiful Christmas lights, [Betty Lou!]”

“It's handcrafted and almost 100 years old.”

“Come on, hurry up, Slowpoke.”

“What's that stench? It's fantastic!”

“One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.”

“Did Christmas change or just me?"

“First floor, factory rejects.”

“But we did our worst. And that's all that matters.”

“At least I scared the bejeebles out of that little [girl] at the post office. [She]'ll be scarred for life, if we're lucky.”

“Funny she didn't rat on us, though. Must be afraid of reprisals.”

“If you utter so much as one syllable I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!”

“I've got all the company I need right here.”

“I'm an idiot!”

“You're an idiot!”

“Am I just eating because I'm bored?”

“In your own words, please tell me everything you know about [the Grinch.]”

“Hey, honey, our baby is here! He looks just like your boss.”

“It was Christmas Eve, and a strange wind blew that night.”

“Do you want a Christmas cookie?”

“Don't forget, tomorrow is our big Christmas gift exchange.Everyone bring a special gift for a special someone.”

“You don't have a chance with [her].”

“It was a horrible day when they were so cruel to [him]. And I could hardly bear it.”

“And that was the last time we ever saw [him]. The very last time.”

“I hate you.Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely!”

“Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!”

“I may do something drastic.”

“You made that up! It doesn't say that.”

“But the book does say: The cheer-meister is the one who deserves a back slap or a toast. And it goes to the soul at Christmas who needs it most."

“Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.”

“The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!”

“You called down the thunder now, get ready for the boom!”

“Gaze into the face of fear!”

“You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you.”

“Run for your life before I kill again!”

“Maybe you need a time-out.”

“Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television.”

“"Holiday Whobie-what-y"?”

“I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding?”

“I myself am having some Yuletide doubts.”

“Award? You never mentioned an award!”

“Was anyone emotionally shattered?”

“Come on, a minute ago I couldn't shut you up! Details, details!”

“I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger, less hairy me.”

“Who knows? This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!”

“You can make snow angels later.”

“The nerve of those (Whos). Inviting me down there on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it.”

“4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise. 6:30, dinner with me… I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I'm booked! If I bumped the loathing to 9:00, I'd have time to lay in bed stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.”

“It's not a dress, it's a kilt! Sicko!”

“This is ridiculous. If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not going! That's it, I'm not going.”

“Ohh, ahh, mmm… That's it, I'm not going.”

“[He] isn't here. What? [He] didn't show? Who could have predicted this?

“All right. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and blow out of there.”

“But what if it's a cruel prank? What if it's a cash bar? How dare they!”

“All right, I'll go. But I'll be fashionably late.”

“All right. I've made my decision! I'm going, and that's that!”

“Come on, while I'm young!”

“But first, a little family reunion.”

“Are you two still living?”

“Sweater? What are you talkin' about? No, I can't! I can't do that!”

“No. I can't do it, honestly. I'm not ready. It's too much, too soon!”

“I've got a lawyer. There'll be hell to pay!”

“Look at the time. I really should be getting back.”

“Bring it on! Is that all you got? Is that all you got? Come on!”

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about!”

“Look, I don't want to make waves, but this whole Christmas season is stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“There is, however one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful. Mistletoe.”

“Burn, baby! Burn!”

“Evening, folks. Mind if I ride along? You might want to scooch over.”

“You fellas all right? How about a nice hat?”

“I'm hurt, [Lou]. I'm hurt, and I don't hurt easily.”

“But you and your family.... I'm so disappointed.”

“I just wanted everybody to be together for Christmas.”

“Suffering snorkelblatz! They're relentless!”

“Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme!”

“I must stop this whole thing. Why for year after year I've put up with it now.”

“Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas? Wrong-o!”

“If you're not going to help me then you might as well…”

“You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel.”

“Just face the music, you're a monster.”

“Your heart's an empty hole.”

“I asked for three-quarters, not five-eighths. Stay focused!”

“Air bag is a little slow. But that's what these tests are for!”

“Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it!”

“Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.”

“No, forget that part. We'll improvise.”

“Saving Christmas was a lousy ending. Way too commercial.”

“We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!”

“[Mommy], tell it to stop!”

“Almost lost my cool there.”

“It's Santa! Go right back to sleep.”

“[He]'s planning a double-twisting interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty.”

“Blasted water weight! Goes right to my hips.”

“Okay, fellas. Show time.”

“[Mr. Santa], what are you doing with our tree?”

“[Santa], what's Christmas really about?”

“I know [he]'s mean and hairy and smelly. [His] hands might be cold and clammy. But I think [he]'s actually kind of sweet.”

“Nice kid. Bad judge of character.”

“Clearance sale. Everything must go.”

“That wasn't so bad, was it, [Max]?”

“What an embarrassment! I've been robbed!”

“I wonder who could have done this.”

“But did anyone listen to me? No.”

“[Cindy], I hope you're very proud of what you've done.”

“You're glad. You're glad everything is gone. You're glad that [the Grinch] virtually wrecked.... No, not wrecked, pulverized Christmas. Is that what I'm hearing?”

“You can't hurt Christmas, [Mr. Mayor], because it isn't about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights. That's what [Cindy]'s been trying to tell everyone! And me. [She]'s been trying to tell me.”

“What's wrong with you? This is a child!”

“[She]'s my child. And she happens to be right, by the way.”

“I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here, my family!”

“Now for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness! The crescendo of my odious opus! The wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears!”

“Somehow or other, it came Just the same!”

“How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

“Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

“Help me! I'm feeling!”

“What's happening to me? I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking?”

“All right, that's enough! Knock it off! beat it! Get out of here! One step at a time!

“Wait! This can't happen! It shouldn't! It couldn't! It mustn't! It wouldn't! Not now, not then, not ever again!”

“What are you doing up there!?”

“I came to see you. No one should be alone on Christmas.”

“I got you, [Cindy Lou]!”

“Are you kiddin'? The sun is bright and the powder's bitchin'!”

“Now scoot over! It's my turn to drive!”

“Now you listen to me, [young] [lady]! Even if we're horribly mangled there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.”

“By the way, these lights match your outfit perfectly.”

“This could be more difficult to negotiate.”

“Out of the way! I have no insurance!”

“Run for your lives! Watch out, I can't stop!”

“Aren't you gonna cuff me? Put me in a choke hold? Blind me with pepper spray?”

“Sorry but my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Cheer up, dude. It's Christmas.”

“There's nothin' like the holidays.”

“Too late! That'll be mine.”

[kyra45]

there's a user (01mariam-saad) that i got an ask from, and i'm hesitant about it. abuse was explained briefly within the ask, because it could be triggering, and it seems that at one point, their donation post had more a detailed explanation that has since been edited down, or the post was remade, because it was triggering. i don't know what it looked like before, but i'm aware that they're tagging a bunch of users, and i'm a pretty small blog, yet they found me and sent me an ask, which is ...i don't know, usually this stuff is blazed by someone, or comes across your dash naturally. it made me skeptical, i guess, that a line of contact was formed. in the main post, when i went to check, there were people saying it was a scam, and i've since gone back, but those comments calling it out all seem to be gone. i don't know if they were deleted or what, but it made me hesitate initially to see scam claims, and then more so to come back and see those comments deleted. i don't know if i am right to doubt, and with the topic being pretty badly abusive, i find myself ...worried to express concern over whether it's real, but then, if it is a scam, i think that's really all the more reason to ask, because it would be truly horrendous to tell people that you had suffered such awful abuse for some hundred bucks.

Unfortunately it isn’t uncommon for scammers to pretend they were abused to get money from other people. It’s something they I’ve seen happen quite often happen, and have at least 2 cases of it documented here (dreamerdollface) and another one I can’t remember the url of but there are several other. Both accounts claimed to be abuse victims but never could provide verification that the pictures they were using was actually their own images and not images stolen off the internet.

The user you listed has been spamming asks on a near daily basis, always changing part of it to fit a holiday or the day of the week it’s sent. They target anyone and everyone and don’t seem to care their ask contains triggering content since it’s never edited to remove the unnecessary information. Their pinned post has most of the same information supplied so by now they should edit out it the ask.

A mutual of mine got the same ask and answered it privately telling the account to please stop sending those kind of asks to users. Despite the blog accepting suggestions, they have ignored the kind request and continue to send it to others.

It is suspicious if their deleting anything that raises concerns because while people can be rude sometimes you wouldn’t want to hide anything if it wasn’t a rude comment. If someone calls you a scam, you can reply to them with proof you aren’t. Deleting the comment, without answering it, generally isn’t advisable. Often scammers just don’t want anyone seeing someone’s legitimate concerns. Though sometimes real people just don’t want to deal with those comments as well:

It is fine to doubt someone’s legitimacy if they find you even though your blog is too small for someone to find easily.

[justreadertings]

Sweet Understanding: A Rowaelin love story- Part 3

AN: Ok so I know I’ve been distant, but the holidays and finals have kept me far from my tumblr family! I’m happy to be back with one of my all time fav parts! I hope you guys didn’t forget about this fic about my absence because it’s about to get craayyzzeee! Ok enjoy!- Magee

3747 words

Loosely based on the song Suddenly Seymor. Mentions of domestic abuse, violence, swearing, drugs, death, sex, NSFW.

Part 3

She couldn’t believe she told him. Couldn’t believe she called at all but… she told him. 

Her name was her greatest kept secret. Without her true last name, she supposed she could be any old Aelin but… she knew there was only one. Her heart stumbled just thinking of what might happen. 

If Rowan dug too deep.

If Cairn found out he knew. 

If Cairn found out about Rowan at all. 

If… he found out about any of it.

Aelin scrubbed her face, trying to wash it away. She was leaning against the counter, sleepless, sipping on her third coffee. She’d come to work with less sleep before, on nights Cairn would insist she stay awake with him on his trip. 

But it wasn’t her lack of sleep that plagued her mind. It was everything. The fact that she’d taken that step with Rowan. That he’d even seen her like that was giving so much away. She had given so much of herself away last night, she wasn’t even sure if she belonged to herself anymore. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do the next time she saw him, what they were. 

She didn’t even know her own name anymore. Her life felt like it was slowly coming apart at the seams. And the worst part was, she couldn’t figure out if she was enjoying it. 

Aelin distracted herself with work, scrubbing things that were already clean, filtering the coffee even when it didn’t need to be. She couldn’t stop feeling Rowan, not just his kiss- which was so sweet and gentle that it nearly broke her- but also his hands. So soft with her, so protective. She felt safe when he was around now, which was terribly dangerous. 

Something wicked always followed when Aelin began to feel safe. So she tried to reign in all her flooding emotions. Tried to turn them off. She’d gotten good at that these past years being tied to Cairn. 

She had overreacted last night, she knew. But she never knew where he was hiding that damn gun, sometimes it was in the band of his pants and sometimes it wasn’t. And he was just so drunk. He’d never actually shot anything in front of her, but he always liked to remind her that he had it. Aelin wasn’t sure if he’d ever use it. 

She spilled a bit of her hot coffee on herself at the thought, her hands shaking. Before she had time to curse herself, the door opened. 

Aelin was fully expecting it to be Rowan. But it wasn’t. She frowned at the dark haired brood she met at the station that day she had to pick Cairn up. 

“Two black coffees,” was all he said, voice gruff.

Gods, she thought. She may feel… whatever she was feeling about Rowan- but she still sure as fuck hated cops. Especially broody, tall, overpowered men like these.

“Magic word?” She asked, tracing rings on the counter.

Then man- Lorcan, she remembered- huffed in annoyance. “So you’re the bitchy barista?”

Aelin’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“I’m embellishing what I’ve heard from my partner for the past year. Celaena, I assume?”

She had no patience for this man. She crossed her arms, making no move to begin their drinks. “Where is that partner of yours?”

Lorcan’s eyes narrowed. “Working.”

She hated it, but a dash of fear and embarrassment tinged her stomach. Was he avoiding her? Did he completely regret kissing her? Gods, if she gave that much of herself away- her fucking name- to a man who could use it against her… 

Then, the bell rang again, and standing there, in his glory, was Rowan. Aelin ignored the relief that pierced through her stomach. His assessing green eyes tracked both her and Lorcan, as if he knew them both well enough to know that she would hate his guts. She doubted Lorcan felt differently about her.

“What the hell?” Rowan asked his partner. 

Lorcan gestured lamely to her. “I was getting coffee.” 

Rowan only squinted at him, but turned to her. “You know my order.”

She nodded, making exactly one. Rowan handed over the change, and she felt her skin tingle as their hands brushed. She made no reaction on her face, though. Her body. 

“You gave me twice as much.” She said, frowning at the change.

Rowan nodded towards Lorcan. “I’m buying his.” Then, he nodded to the door. Lorcan seemed to take the hint, but leveled a look at her that she could not decipher before he left. It made her nervous. Did Rowan tell him something about her? Did they start digging in her past? 

“Ignore him,” Rowan said, breaking her out of her worries. “He’s a dick.”

Aelin hummed. “And I’m that ‘bitchy barista’?”

Rowan cringed. “You weren’t so nice to me if you’ll remember correctly.”

“Because you were all sunshine and rainbows,” she mused. He huffed a laugh, and Aelin peered up at him behind the machine. He seemed about as tired as she was. “Late night?” She asked.

Aelin had to look away from the deep look in his eyes. “Something like that.” He braced his elbows on the counter between them, his voice becoming softer, like it was last night. Gods, she’d let him clean off her blood. Her cheeks heated. “How are you?”

She shrugged. “Same old same old.” When she tried to pass him the coffee holder, he reached for her wrist. Her eyes flashed up to his.

“Seriously.”

“Seriously,” she said. “I’ve been through worse. Again, I overreacted last night. I mean…” She struggled with the right words. “I’m glad I called you. But it wasn’t… what I thought it was. I told you that. I’m ok.”

He nodded, but she could tell he didn’t like the answer. But that was the answer. So he would have to deal. Instead of commenting about it, though, he only peered over the counter, as if trying to see in the back.

“Luca here?” She shook her head. “Emrys?” Again, she shook her head.

 “Just me. Luca gets here in an hour.”

Rowan glanced around the empty shop. Her heart started racing when he lifted his brows, and asked, “Can I come back there?”

She swept her hands out in front of her, trying to seem a lot less nervous than she was. “No one’s stopping you.”

As if it took no effort at all, Rowan swung himself over the counter. Her eyes tracked his strong arms. She used to be strong like that. Well… maybe not like that, but she used to be stronger. She’d always liked herself when she had muscle on her. Always felt better about her body. Aelin could absolutely admire Rowan’s body, even if it was covered in that stupid fucking uniform.

She tilted her head up at him. “Hi,” she whispered. Honestly, Aelin didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. Especially so out in the open. She knew her apartment wasn’t being watched… anymore. But she had no control over who saw what in the shop.

So, without thinking, she grabbed Rowan’s hand and pulled him into the back, just a quaint office. She shut the door quickly, forgetting how small the office really was. She and Rowan were nearly chest to chest. 

“What are you doing?” Rowan asked her. Aelin had a boyfriend. Gods, she really didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. But she knew that Rowan made her feel… something. And that was worth keeping around. Even if it was crazy, dangerous. She wouldn't risk losing a feeling. An emotion. 

“I-” she started. But she didn’t have the words. She had no defense of herself for what she wanted. She couldn’t even figure out what she felt, let alone be able to voice it to him. So instead she rose on her toes, staring at him. Waiting.

Rowan’s eyes flickered down to her lips. That magnetic feeling came back, as if she couldn’t stop herself from going to him. It was the same reason she didn’t lock him out every morning for the past year. In all honesty- she needed him. She needed to yell at him then. And now… 

“Rowan?” She whispered.

He shifted closer to her, staring down at her like a puzzle he could not solve. “Yes?” He whispered back, like he also knew how fragile this was.

“Kiss me.”

-

Rowan didn’t know why they were in this little office, didn’t know how she was or even if she was safe. All he knew was that she was right there, asking for the same thing he hadn’t stopped thinking of for hours. Still-

“Are you sure?” He whispered, still moving closer.

Aelin pressed further on her toes, her nose brushing with his. Teasing and testing him. He braced his hand on the upper cabinets above her, swallowing. “Well?” She whispered, an evil little look in her eye.

Gods, she was the devil. Worse: he was entranced with the behavior. “You’re very full of yourself, aren’t you?” He asked, his breath ghosting her lips.

She smirked. “Is it working?”

It was. Rowan leaned down then, unable to stop himself from kissing her. It was exactly as it was the first time: overwhelming. All consuming. Their embrace quickly turned heated, so different from last night. Rowan realized something very important in that moment: he needed her.

Fucking the consequences, Rowan grabbed her waist, pulling her to him. He pried open her mouth, quickly exploring her as she opened for him. When she moaned around his lips, he balled her shirt in his hands, untucking it from her jeans. It seemed that all the energy they’d spent hating each other had turned into… this.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, pulling. Gods, she was destroying him. The only sound in the office was their combined panting. His hands came up to grab her jaw, and she met him for every moment of savagery. She tugged harder on his hair, and Rowan pushed her back to the door, pressing her against it. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t think about the millions of things he should be thinking about when she was here, so warm, and entrancing, smelling of lemon verbena and fire.

When he lowered his mouth to her pulse point, her head fell back against the door with a bang. “Fuck,” she groaned. Rowan went wild with it, beginning to worship her neck, giving her what she deserved- before being roughly pushed back.

He glanced up at her, surprised, both of them breathing harshly. She wasn’t looking at him, though. No, she was staring at the floor, hand covering her neck. 

Her neck. Fuck. 

The mood was utterly ruined.

“Fuck,” Aelin said, mirroring his thoughts. “Fuck fuck fuck.” She lowered her hand, glancing at him with something like terror in her eyes. “There’s not a mark, is there?”

He inspected it closely, then shook his head. With that, she sighed, closing her eyes. Relief settled so heavily on her, it was visible. She nearly collapsed against the door.

Rowan had to rub his hands down his face, calming himself down. He was not the type of person to make impulse decisions. He didn’t know what she was doing to him. She had a boyfriend- an abusive, dangerous boyfriend. He just didn’t think when he was around her. It was why she could goad him into yelling matches- it was why she could drag him into this room and kiss him senseless. 

A noise came from her, and it snapped him out of his thoughts. He realized she was laughing. Laughing.

“Aelin?”

She bent at her knees, the noise a little bit manic. “Oh my gods.” When she looked up at him, he saw disbelief in her eyes. “What the hell is wrong with me?” He just watched her laugh to herself and shake her head. She started talking, but he was pretty sure it was to herself. “I guess I never learn my lesson, huh?” Aelin was rubbing her cheek, the scratch on it, probably unconsciously.

Rowan frowned, and he risked a step towards her. “Learn your lesson?” he asked, looking for anything from her. He was becoming obsessed with this, he thought. Figuring out her riddles, trying to understand her life.

Aelin tilted her head up, eyes shut tight, choosing to ignore his question. “What are we doing, Rowan?”

“You dragged me in here,” he pointed out. Rowan had no idea what she wanted. He was starting to think she didn’t know, either.

Her eyes swam, and he couldn’t decipher what she was thinking. Couldn’t figure out what was going on in that beautiful head of her’s. It didn’t help that his brain was still mush after that kiss. He really wanted to kiss her again. But- “What do you want, Aelin?”

Her mouth began destroying her nail, her eyes still processing. “I want to finish that kiss,” she said, honestly, a little beside herself. It was like she was reading his mind. Until she told him, “I think… I think we need to pause.” Her eyes flickered up to his. Nervous. “Is that,” she swallowed, making herself small against the door. “Is that ok?”

Rowan nodded, even though he really didn’t want to stop. But their lives were far more complicated than this room, and what could have happened here. Kissing in secret probably wasn’t the smartest choice, and for her, it wasn’t the safest. His stomach churned. He would always respect that. Rowan told her, “of course.” 

She sighed again. “Thank you.” But she didn’t like his nod, because she stood and squeezed his arm, her eyes honest. “I mean it. Thank you.”

Rowan realized how little she probably got that answer from people. How rare it probably was for her to get her way. He searched her expression. “Of course, Aelin.”

She closed her eyes then, soft. A smile graced her features.

Rowan nearly fell on his knees. Because that right there was the first real smile he’d ever gotten from her. Ever.

Not a smirk, or a devilish grin. Not a pained, forced smile. A real one. 

“What?” he whispered, not wanting to destroy it. 

She kept her eyes closed. “I just- my name. You use it so casually.” Her eyes opened, something clear in them. “It’s nice,” she said, before her tone changed. “Just don’t say it in front of anyone else.”

He nodded, so many questions on his tongue. “I won’t,” he promised. 

Aelin nodded, relief once again taking over her face. She was like a puzzle he could not figure out. 

“Why don’t we start here,” he said, wanting to keep her anyway he could. It was like his new addiction, learning about her life. “Join me for those drinks. Terrasen plays Adarlan tomorrow. We need more people to root for the Ghost Leopards in this city.”

She thought about it, her eyes glazing a bit. Processing. Planning. Finally, she told him, “Cairn would have to come.” Regret tinged her voice.

Rowan’s stomach rolled over, but he just nodded. “That’s fine.” 

She nodded, one of those fake smiles gracing her mouth. “Sounds perfect.”

He frowned at her. 

Aelin swallowed, searching his face. “As long as you can handle it.” Her voice dropped. “I can’t break up with him, Rowan.”

A strange tightness filled his chest, and he had to push away images of her, bloodied in her destroyed apartment, and how similar it looked to the scene he was greeted with when he used to come home from school. 

“Ok.” It was all he could muster. She was not his to keep. He had to accept that. Had to accept her choices.

“Ok,” she said, voice hopeful. 

He was hopeful, too. It was strange. It was new. It was a dangerous, ugly feeling. And he did not know what to do with it. 

-

“You don’t have friends.”

Aelin kept her eyes open, even though she wanted to close them with exhaustion. She knew Cairn wasn’t going to take this well, but he was in a good mood. This should have been going… better. 

“I made some.”

He flipped to another channel, and she had to bite her tongue to comment about how disengaged from the conversation he was. “Where? All you fucking do is work.”

The coppery taste of blood tinged her mouth where she bit her tongue. “I made them at work.”

“Who.”

It only then dawned on Aelin that she was asking him to go out with the men who’d arrested him. Fuck. “They come into the shop,” she swallowed, trying to not show her nerves. It was never good if he thought she was nervous. “They’re Ghost Leopards fans.”

He watched the tv for a minute, and that meant that she was to sit and wait. When it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer, she clenched her teeth and started on dinner. She’d have to bring it up again, later.

Her heart sank at the idea of missing it. All she wanted to do was pull Rowan into this apartment, and have him kiss her like he did earlier today. He could make her forget about her shitty situation, make her feel. Her lower belly was still aching for him.

She hadn’t felt such lust in… years. Hadn’t felt sexy in longer. But Rowan made her feel desirable. Not as an object to have, a thing to show off. He played with her, explored her. It mattered that it was her there, not just a body.

He made her feel safe. Her chest clenched with the thought. She ached for that feeling with every inch of her body; it was almost unbearable. 

She turned from the counter, giving it her last shot. “I’ll pay. For food and beer.” When he didn’t respond, she threw in, “I’ll drive, too.”

Finally, after making her wait a moment more, he waved her off. “Fine.”

Relief sank through her body. “Ok. Perfect.” She turned back around, facing the other wall. Tears pierced her eyes, strange and unusual. But she couldn’t help it. It was like she was slowly melting, every minute, and her emotions were breaking free. 

Earlier, she’d caught herself smiling on the way home. She could barely recognize herself. 

“Perfect,” she whispered again.

-

“He said yes,” she said, and she looked so excited.

Fondness spread in Rowan as he watched her. She had given him his coffee the moment he walked in, and told him the news not a second later. “Good,” he said, even though he wished she could just go on her own. Wished she didn’t have to ask. 

She just nodded, a smile gracing her lips. He wanted to stay there and just stare at her do that all day, intoxicated by her good mood. But he already got a lot of shit from Lorcan when he was ten minutes late to meet him at the office the day before. Rowan knew he couldn’t hide much from his partner. And though he didn’t want to hide Aelin- he didn’t know what there was to admit to. 

It wasn’t like they’d had a conversation about it. Rowan knew communicating had never really been their strong suit. He wasn’t even sure what the hell to call her in his head.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he told her.

A crimson color overtook her face. “Yeah,” she spoke through her smile. “I’ll see you tonight.”

-

Work was normal. Until it wasn’t.

His boss, Gavriel, called his unit into his office. He, Lorcan, Fenrys, and his twin, Connell, all crammed in, watching him with an air of caution. He was calculated, and to the point. He was a good boss, but he was stern, too.

And he was looking at Rowan. 

Gavriel cut to the chase. “I’ve called you all here because Archer Finn has applied for parole.”

Rowan’s mind went very, very still. The air had been sucked out of the room. He thought he might be frozen. It felt like all eyes were on him, but he couldn’t focus on that. He couldn’t focus on anything but the sickening truth.

“He’s not going to get it. Will he?” His voice sounded gutural in his own ears. 

Gavriel’s tawny eyes narrowed. “He’s been in there seven years.”

“Twenty,” Rowan cut in. “I was promised twenty.” 

His boss shook his head. “And you may get seven,” he leveled. “He’s applied because of good behavior,” Gavriel went on, but Rowan couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t hear anything but his beating heart. Couldn’t think of anything but Lyria’s pretty face, her smile when she held the sonogram up. Of their child. Of their life. 

Couldn’t see anything but her casket. Lowered into the ground. He didn’t even get to say goodbye. To kiss her goodbye, tell her to drive safe. He was too busy at work that night. She always said he worked too hard, that she loved him for how much he cared, but that he should start to put his life first. 

He was trying. He knew he was going to be a father, and that required more of him than his job did. He was going to take some time off.

It never got that far. 

“Rowan?”

His eyes snapped up to his boss, his body humming with all the emotion in his body. “Promise me you won’t do anything drastic. Anything stupid.” 

Disgust tinged his mouth. He stood. “You don’t need to worry about me.” His body moved without really thinking, just taking him out of this room. Away from his coworkers. Away from the godsdamned world. 

He didn’t remember how he got to the gym, all he knew was that he was beating the anger out. He had to get it out of his body, had to rid himself of it. He couldn’t have it in him, this anger. It made him dangerous, and wild. He just kept hitting and hitting and hitting. 

If he could be emotionless, he would. He hated the part of himself that was savage. He did better without emotions. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out where all this emotion came from in the first place. He’d gone seven years without it. 

But Rowan didn’t want to think about that right now. All he wanted was to beat his hands bloody, so that maybe these… feelings would be gone. He couldn’t think about Lyria, about the past. Because if he did… it might kill him.

I hope you enjoyed it! More to come after the holidays hehe. *runs away* 

Taglist:

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[cookie-run-kingdom-story]

Holiday Stories

Mighty Forest Keeper

Carol Cookie: La di dum… La di da… ♪ Carol Cookie: Oh? I’ve seen this tree before. Am I walking in circles? But according to Clover Cookie’s directions… Carol Cookie: Oh well! Why don’t I sit down and sing a song. Music will help me find the way, I’m sure!

Carol Cookie: La di da da! La la la! ♫ Carol Cookie: As the year comes to an end, ♪ Silent night falls across the land. Friendly faces come to mind… One by one… ♫ Carol Cookie: Jingling bells and laughter fill the town, ♫ Happiness will always be around… ♪ Carol Cookie: Ouch! What’s this? A choco acorn? Where did this come from…?

Pinecone Cookie: RAWR! Carol Cookie: A Cookie…? Hello there! What’s your name? Pinecone Cookie: I am Pinecone Cookie, protector and keeper of the forest! Pinecone Cookie: What are YOU doing in my forest? The trees can’t sleep because of you! Carol Cookie: Oh, I’m sorry! Carol Cookie: I’m Carol Cookie, singer of love and peace! I was thinking of what kind of story I should share with Cookies. Pinecone Cookie: Stories? Carol Cookie: Have you heard? ♪ The four seasons have had their turns and now it’s time for family to come together ♫ Carol Cookie: Filled with laughter and warm smiles you’re bound to have more stories and fond memories ♪ Pinecone Cookie: Family? What’s that? Carol Cookie: Oh? You don’t know? Well, let me tell you a story. Carol Cookie: A story about a holiday spent with loved ones. Pinecone Cookie: Hmm… Pinecone Cookie: Ok. But you can’t be too loud! I don’t want you to wake the trees! Carol Cookie: Of course! And so, my story begins… ♫ Pinecone Cookie: I said you can’t be loud! Carol Cookie: Ha ha, I’m sorry!

A Very Hollyberry Gathering

Princess Cookie: So we were escaping that horrible stinky pirate ship and then this HUGE squid appeared, and- Knight Cookie: Your Highness…! Stories are great and all, but please, you must eat! You haven’t even touched your food… Jungleberry Cookie: Leave her be. When her eyes shine like that, nothing can stop her. Hollyberry Cookie: Ah ha ha! Jungleberry Cookie, do I sense… excitement in your dough?! Hollyberry Cookie: Could it be that the festive lights have brightened up your spirits as well?

Jungleberry Cookie: It’s… possible. This year-end festival is the first one we’ve had ever since rebuilding the kingdom. It’s quite nice to see the palace so bright and cheerful once again. Royal Berry Cookie: Yes, yes! My queen, you’ve worked so hard to make this happen! Look at the delightfully adorable Berry Choir! And those LIGHTS! The entire hall is absolutely dashing! Hollyberry Cookie: Hear, hear! You two should enjoy this day as well! Hollyberry Cookie: So! Princess Cookie, I can’t believe that a young Cookie like you has had such an adventure! Hollyberry Cookie: Well, but then again! You were quite special, even as a freshly baked Cookie! Princess Cookie: What do you mean? Hollyberry Cookie: Your cry could wake up the entire palace! Once, you started crying in the middle of a ball and everyone started evacuating because they thought it was a dragon! HA HA HA! Knight Cookie: Wow, is that really true? Jungleberry Cookie: It’s true! And her curiosity knew no bounds! She insisted on tasting every singe* berry she laid her eyes on. What a child!

*actual text

Royal Berry Cookie: Yes, yes. Princess Cookie was the most adorable thing ever! Princess Cookie: Thanks to my early exploration days, I now can distinguish edible berries by their smell! Hollyberry Cookie: HA HA HA! Still, make sure you ask a friend for a second opinion before taking a bite! Knight Cookie: Yes, please do so! I am at your disposal! Jungleberry Cookie: The Hollyberry Kingdom has regained its spirit, and the whole family has been reunited… Jungleberry Cookie: …Truly, a day to rejoice!

Royal Berry Cookie: But dearest, why do you look so sad? Jungleberry Cookie: Do I? It’s just… With everyone here and all, I can’t help but think of that child… Royal Berry Cookie: Dear…

Wildberry Cookie: Lady Hollyberry Cookie. Hollyberry Cookie: Wildberry Cookie! There you are! I’ve been looking for you! Wildberry Cookie: I… had to send a letter to the Dark Cacao Kingdom. Hollyberry Cookie: To Crunchy Chip Cookie, I presume?! Wow, the two of you have grown really close, haven’t you! Hollyberry Cookie: How’s the Dark Cacao Kingdom these days? The snow mountains must be freezing! I hope their dough stay* dry and frost-free!

*actual text

Don’t Forget What’s Important

Crunchy Chip Cookie: Your Majesty! It’s your bravest soldier, Crunchy Chip Cookie! Commander of the Cream Wolves, reporting for duty! Cream Wolf: Arf! ARF ARF ARF! Crunchy Chip Cookie: Ever since we got back from the Republic, we reinforced the border security and patrols, bringing peace to the nearby villages! Crunchy Chip Cookie: Starving mountain beasts and roaming bandits posed the biggest threat. All of ‘em were OFFICIALLY taken cared* of!

*actual text

Cream Wolf: Arf! Arf ARF! Crunchy Chip Cookie: We taught those bandits not to mess with our Cookies, sire! Then we made sure the mountain beasts are well fed! Crunchy Chip Cookie: End of report! Cream Wolf: Arf! ARF!

Dark Cacao Cookie: Good. First Watcher, report. Caramel Arrow Cookie: First Watcher, Caramel Arrow Cookie, reporting as ordered. Caramel Arrow Cookie: In your absence, the Watchers have been focusing mainly on rebuilding and guarding the Wall. Caramel Arrow Cookie: The Licorice Sea is still a great threat to our kingdom… Caramel Arrow Cookie: But they are no match for the noble Dark Cacao Warriors. We’ve kept the Wall clean and intend to keep it that way! Caramel Arrow Cookie: End of report! Dark Cacao Cookie: I am fortunate to have such a capable First Watcher and reliable Commander for the Cream Wolves. Dark Cacao Cookie: This winter is… more vicious than usual. How fare the Cookies outside the castle? Caramel Arrow Cookie: The Cookies of the Dark Cacao Kingdom are strong, sire. The winds may be cold, but they’re all busy preparing for the next year. Caramel Arrow Cookie: And everyone is excited that the castle gates will be finally open. Dark Cacao Cookie: ...I see. Caramel Arrow Cookie, keep a sharp eye on defending the Wall to ensure the civilian Cookies’ safety on the castle grounds. Caramel Arrow Cookie: By your command, my liege! Dark Cacao Cookie: And... Dark Cacao Cookie: Schedule the shifts so that all Watchers have time to rest. It’s the end of the year... The time to spend with your dear ones. Caramel Arrow Cookie: Your Majesty... Crunchy Chip Cookie: Y-your Majesty! If I may... Would it be possible for the Cream Wolves to have some treats...? Dark Cacao Cookie: I will see to it that Jelly treats are distributed generously. Crunchy Chip Cookie: K-King Dark Cacao Cookie...! Thank you, my king! Dark Cacao Cookie: We must not forget why we have taken up arms... What we are trying to protect... Dark Cacao Cookie: (...And what we failed to protect.)

A Dear Face

Dark Choco Cookie: ……… Dark Choco Cookie: …It’s silent. Dark Choco Cookie: I don’t remember the last time I’ve had… peace. Dark Choco Cookie: I do not know where this path will take me… But I do not feel as troubled as before. It’s… different. Dark Choco Cookie: …Father. Dark Choco Cookie: When I left… he looked like he was in… pain. Dark Choco Cookie: Perhaps… time will mend our wounds… And someday… he’ll forgive me. Dark Choco Cookie: And I forgive him… Dark Choco Cookie: Hmm. Is it normal for my mind to be… riddled with thoughts? I cannot recall what it was like before the voice took over my soul. Dark Choco Cookie: But even the roaming of my thoughts… feels refreshing. I feel… free.

Can’t Hide the Syrup

Custard Cookie III: I can’t believe someone from the Custard family invited me to visit them! I’m SO excited! Custard Cookie III: So this is the Custard Mansion?! It’s huge! They sure are a noble family! Clotted Cream Cookie: Custard Cookie III, you are here! Thank you for traveling all the way here. I am Clotted Cream Cookie. This here is my father, Custard Cookie. Custard Cookie: …Ahem… Custard Cookie III: It’s so nice to meet you all! I’ve never seen anyone in the family other than papa! Custard Cookie: Such disrespect towards the elders of the family… Custard Cookie III: Oooooh, is that the crest of House Custard?! It’s so cool! And noble! Ahem, ahem! Clotted Cream Cookie: Ha ha…

Custard Cookie: Now this is just ridiculous! Even if they didn’t receive any proper education, this is absolutely out of line…! Clotted Cream Cookie: …Father. May I suggest you to refrain from giving any lectures? Surely you did not invite our guest from afar to lecture on etiquette? Custard Cookie III: Who’s this? Is that… grandpapa? Custard Cookie: Just look at him! He’s prancing around like a pony! Tsk! Clotted Cream Cookie: …… Custard Cookie III: Err… grandpapa? Or is it… uncle-grandpapa? How should I address you? Clotted Cream Cookie: Custard Cookie is your great uncle, and since I am his son, you may call me uncle! Custard Cookie III: Okay! So, great-uncle was my grandpapa’s brother, right? What was grandpapa like? Custard Cookie III: I bet he was brave and royal, even as a freshly baked Cookie! He’d never abandon his fellow Cookies, even when things got crusty! Clotted Cream Cookie: We have never had a chance to become acquainted, but I am sure you are correct! He stood strong even in the most turbulent times when the Vanilla Kingdom was under attack. Custard Cookie III: I knew it! Papa told me so!

Custard Cookie III: I heard that even when the kingdom was crumbling apart, the grounds trembling, and flames blazing the place, he kept on shouting, “Don’t fall back! Save every Cookie there is! We cannot fail the King!” Custard Cookie: Hmm… Did he now…? Custard Cookie III: So I’m gonna be a great king someday and look over my faithful subjects? Clotted Cream Cookie: Spoken like a true descendant of the Vanilla Kingdom. Custard Cookie III: Of course! You can cover icing, but you can’t hide syrup! Papa always said that I took after my great grandpapa! Custard Cookie: Tsk. It’s no use imagining what kind of king you’ll become if you never become one! To sit on the throne, one needs power and the means to rule! Custard Cookie: (To find out that the lost successor to the family would be such a half-backed disgrace of a Cookie…!) Clotted Cream Cookie: “You can’t hide syrup…” Clotted Cream Cookie: If you will excuse me… I am afraid I have another place to be. Custard Cookie: Where do you think you are going? Clotted Cream Cookie: Custard Cookie III’s words reminded me of… someone. Clotted Cream Cookie: I will be taking my leave now. Custard Cookie III: Bye, uncle! See you again!

A Heartwarming Gift

Black Raisin Cookie: I see Pure Vanilla Cookie! Everyone, get into positions! Villager Cookie 2: We’re almost there! Pure Vanilla Cookie: Yes, yes. Hmm? What’s this pleasant and sweet smell? Villager Cookie 2: OK, we’re here! Pure Vanilla Cookie: This is… Villager Cookies: Surprise! Have the happiest of holidays, Pure Vanilla Cookie! Black Raisin Cookie: The Villager Cookies prepared a party as a gift! They want to thank you for taking care of everyone for the past year. Villager Cookie 1: Pure Vanilla Cookie, try this foamy raisin juice! I made it myself! Villager Cookie 3: And this raisin bun! I stuffed the raisin dough with a bunch of raisins! Pure Vanilla Cookie: What a heartwarming gift! I’m… I’m overcome with happiness. Thank you. Black Raisin Cookie: We have a long way to go, but I think these memories are something we can hold on to during hardships.

Pure Vanilla Cookie: I’m so lucky to have such good and dependable friends! Thank you, Black Raisin Cookie. Black Raisin Cookie: I-it was nothing! Who’s hungry?! I know I am! The Villager Cookies have been busy the whole morning! ??????: Yoohoo! Anybody home?!

Madeleine Cookie’s First Auntie: Aww, just look at that! Oh, look at THIS! What a quaint and adorable place! Madeleine Cookie’s Second Auntie: Indeed! It’s so warm and peaceful, it’s as if someone compressed the whole Vanilla Kingdom into this store! Madeleine Cookie’s Third Auntie: Oh dear… I hope we didn’t interrupt you all! Villager Cookie 1: No, no! Please come in! Will you be staying at the inn as well? Madeleine Cookie’s First Auntie: Yes, yes! Our nephew said we must stay at this inn when we visit the Vanilla Kingdom! Madeleine Cookie’s Second Auntie: Our boy is so smart! How did dear Madeleine even find this place? Pure Vanilla Cookie: You must be Madeleine Cookie’s aunts. I heard that you were very generous to our delegates when they visited the Republic. Pure Vanilla Cookie: Welcome to the Vanilla Kingdom. Would you like to join us? Madeleine Cookie’s Third Auntie: Oh, would that be alright? Villager Cookie 4: Of course! We have more than enough food to go around! Villager Cookie 5: Please, try the raisin jelly soup! I made it myself! Pure Vanilla Cookie: Did Madeleine Cookie join you in your travels? Madeleine Cookie’s First Auntie: He did! But he said that he was needed elsewhere. Madeleine Cookie’s Third Auntie: I think he said he was going to meet a friend. Black Raisin Cookie: Then let’s dig in before the food gets too cold! Villager Cookie 3: But Strawberry Crepe Cookie hasn’t arrived yet! Villager Cookie 1: I left the invitation next to the Wafflebot Laboratory… Do you think I should’ve given it directly to Strawberry Crepe Cookie?

Family

Carol Cookie: Pinecone Cookie, you look upset. Did you not like my singing? Pinecone Cookie: N-no! It’s just that... Pinecone Cookie: Did I get this right? Pinecone Cookie: So family is someone who baked me or has the same syrup running through their dough…?

Pinecone Cookie: But… I don’t know anyone like that… Carol Cookie: Well, you’re not wrong, but there’s more! Carol Cookie: Remember the Cookies of the Vanilla Kingdom? Carol Cookie: They didn’t know each other when they were first brought into this world… Carol Cookie: Yet, fate brought them together, so they decided to stand by each other no matter what. They’re each other’s family! Carol Cookie: I’m sure you have someone dear to you too. Just how every forest is different, every family looks different. Pinecone Cookie: Someone dear… Carol Cookie: Why don’t I tell you a story of how families brought together by fate spend the holidays?

One Exception for Inefficiency

Strawberry Crepe Cookie: Wait, did you pull another all-nighter? Espresso Cookie: Yes, I was in the middle of deciphering an ancient formula… Strawberry Crepe Cookie: So that’s why your exhaustion levels have spiked up from 19% to 56%! Eh, whatever. When are we heading to the Crow’s Nest Inn? Espresso Cookie: Pardon?! Why should we go there?! Strawberry Crepe Cookie: The Villager Cookies have sent an invitation! They say it’s gonna be some kind of “year-end party?” Espresso Cookie: That does not interest me in the slightest. The end of a unit of time has nothing to do with my work. Strawberry Crepe Cookie: But they invited us! Doesn’t it sound curious? Espresso Cookie: Au contraire! I have far more important matters to attend. Strawberry Crepe Cookie: Like what? Lock yourself up in a room and read some old dusty book? Espresso Cookie: I’m thinking of modifying the shoulder junctions of the Wafflebots using this formula that I just deciphered. And I could use your assistance. Strawberry Crepe Cookie: M-me? Really? Uh, why not, I guess?

Madeleine Cookie: Espresso Cookie! Are you here? Espresso Cookie: …I didn’t expect to see you soon. TOO soon. Madeleine Cookie: What an odd way to say you’ve missed me! Madeleine Cookie: My aunts wanted to visit the Vanilla Kingdom, so I thought I’d accompany them! Madeleine Cookie: But what are you two doing here in this dingy lab? Haven’t you seen the streets twinkling in brilliant lights? Strawberry Crepe Cookie: We’re busy fixing Wafflebots! Madeleine Cookie: Oh… I see. I was going to tell you all about my travels over a cup of coffee… Espresso Cookie: …Coffee? Coffee. Right. It has been exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes since my last coffee break. Espresso Cookie: I must go to the Crow’s Nest Inn. Strawberry Crepe Cookie, will you join me? Espresso Cookie: If we discuss the outline of the experiment while drinking coffee, I think we’ll be able to finish the experiment just in time. Strawberry Crepe Cookie: Alright! We’re gonna be just on time for the party! Strawberry Crepe Cookie: Oh, wait, wait! Let me go get the gifts I prepared for the Villager Cookies! Madeleine Cookie: Perfect! Then you can listen to my stories while they brew your cup of coffee! Espresso Cookie: …Just while they’re preparing my cup…

New Year’s Eve at the Museum

Eclair Cookie: I’m not sure if I’m comfortable asking for your help in something so trivial…! Surely some other important matter requires your attention…! Tea Knight Cookie: It is nothing. I simply had time to spare. Do not worry. Eclair Cookie: And thank you to both of you for lending a hand as well! Milk Cookie: We’re happy to help! Purple Yam Cookie: So what are we suppose* to do?!

*actual text

Milk Cookie: We’re gonna help Eclair Cookie and clean the museum! Purple Yam Cookie: WHAAT?! You called me for CLEANING?! Eclair Cookie: Towards the end of the year, I go over the entire museum for a thorough cleaning! But the relics we’ve received this year are rather big and heavy…! Eclair Cookie: Thank you very much for your help! Eclair Cookie: Oh, Tea Knight Cookie! You don’t have to lift the heavy relics. If you could just dust this area here… Tea Knight Cookie: If there’s anything that needs heavy lifting, then I too, shall help. Let us get this over with and have cup* of tea.

*actual text

Eclair Cookie: Oh, Sir Tea Knight Cookie…! So heroic as always…! Eclair Cookie: Then shall we get start* with the Hall of Magic?

*actual text

Milk Cookie: Sounds great! Purple Yam Cookie: Grrr… CLEANING. UP?! This is so boring, it’s making me MAD!! Eclair Cookie: Purple Yam Cookie, please don’t break the relics… Tea Knight Cookie: Let’s start with the bigger pieces. Milk Cookie, could you move the Giant Grimoire first? Tea Knight Cookie: If it’s too heavy, I can go get Purple Yam Cookie- Milk Cookie: Here we go! Tea Knight Cookie: Never mind. Tea Knight Cookie: Eclair Cookie, start moving the delicate and small relics. Tea Knight Cookie: Purple Yam Cookie, once Eclair Cookie moves all those relics, you may twirl like the whirlwind with this duster. Purple Yam Cookie: Huh? YEAH! DUSTER WHIRLWIND! Eclair Cookie: Wait, Purple Yam Cookie! UNTIL I get the relics all safe and sound! WAAAAIT!! Purple Yam Cookie: WA HA HA HA HA!! Tea Knight Cookie: This is gonna take a while…

Celebration in the Dark

Poison Mushroom Cookie: Huuuh... Is everyone ready? Licorice Cookie: I’m a very busy Cookie! Cut to the chase! Red Velvet Cookie: I can’t leave the Cake Tower unattended for long. Let’s get on with it. Pomegranate Cookie: I’m sure you’re well aware of Dark Choco Cookie’s despicable betrayal. Pomegranate Cookie: Which is why it is imperative for us to remember why we’re all here. Poison Mushroom Cookie: Yeah, because we’re all friends! Pomegranate Cookie: Nonsense. Now, let us show our undying loyalty to Dark Enchantress Cookie… Pomegranate Cookie: By exchanging tokens of our gratitude towards Dark Enchantress Cookie.

Licorice Cookie: Long story short, you wanna do a gift exchange. Bat-Cat: Meowever! I like presents! Let me open one! Schwarzwälder: I can’t wait! One… Poison Mushroom Cookie: Two… Pomegranate Cookie: Three…! Licorice Cookie: *cough cough* Poison Mushroom Cookie…! This again…?! Affogato Cookie: Ha ha ha! A poison mushroom! How… fortunate of you. Poison Mushroom Cookie: Affogato Cookie, have a shroomie! Actually, have three of ‘em! Affogato Cookie: N-no thanks, I’m perfectly fine! Don’t come near me! Poison Mushroom Cookie: Where are you going?! Have a shroooooomie! Schwarzwälder: WA HA HA! Avoided the mushrooms! Phew! So what did I get…! Schwarzwälder: …A butter cream bone treat…? Red Velvet Cookie: They’re the favorite snack of the Cake Hounds. Didn’t you say you like them too? Schwarzwälder: That was YEARS ago!! These are for freshly baked desserts!! Pomegranate Cookie: That means I have… Licorice Cookie’s… doll… Licorice Cookie: You’re WELCOME! That one contains a curse that’ll last ONE HUNDRED YEARS! Outdid myself, as always Pomegranate Cookie: Every one of these… things… are not related to Dark Enchantress Cookie whatsoever. Pomegranate Cookie: How are you going to serve her and her grand cause with such… audacity…?

Kingdom Full of Laughter

GingerBrave: Whoah, it’s snowing! And look at those colorful decorations! So pretty! Wizard Cookie: The streets smell sweeter than usual, don’t you think? Strawberry Cookie: Just looking at them makes my heart flutter…! Chili Pepper Cookie: Ugh, I grabbed a bunch of shiny stuff… Only to find out they were lights! GingerBrave: When do you think our guests are gonna arrive to our holiday party? ???: We’re here!

Pancake Cookie: Party time! P! A! R! T! Y! Acorn Jelly PARTY TIME! Snow Sugar Cookie: I… brought some Snow Sugar Jellies for everyone…! Vampire Cookie: Where’s the grape juice? Ooh, perfect. Let me just have one sip first… Mmm! This party is gonna be great! Sparkling Cookie: Ha ha, it’s been a while since we’ve had such a busy party! Clover Cookie: I’ve prepared a special song just for today! GingerBrave: Wow, so many of you came! GingerBrave: He he, with everyone around, I can’t help but look back at this whole year… Wizard Cookie: So many adventures… Strawberry Cookie: I wonder what everyone is up to right now? Clover Cookie: Then it looks like I have invited the perfect Cookie! Her songs will shine us a light! Not to mention that she’s a joy to sing with…!

Carol Cookie: Hello, everyone! GingerBrave: Carol Cookie! Welcome, welcome! Carol Cookie: Thank you! It’s such a beautiful kingdom! And thank you for inviting me, Clover Cookie. Clover Cookie:: You see, Carol Cookie and I have prepared a special duet for the party. Clover Cookie: It’s a story of the Cookies spending a warm holidays* with their loved ones.

*actual text

Clover Cookie: But first, why don’t we take a look at Macaron Cookie’s parade? Macaron Cookie: Oh boy! I sure have a fun parade planned! Macaron Cookie: It’ll go perfectly well with fireworks!

Macaron Cookie: Now, dear Macaron Animals! Follow my step! One, and a-two…! Cherry Cookie: Leave the fireworks to me! BOOM! BA-BOOM! Snow Sugar Cookie: Cherry Cookie, wait! Pancake Cookie: Wheeeee! Holiday parties are the best! Macaron Cookie: Louder! A-one, a-two…! Carol Cookie: What a beautiful night!

Brought Together by Fate

Pinecone Cookie: Brought together by fate… Tall Evergreen Tree: *Rustle… rustle…* Pinecone Cookie: Be quiet! I’m trying to think… Thick Oak Tree: *Creak… Creeeeaak* Birds on a Tree: *HOOT HOOT* *Chirp! Chirp!* Small Animal Friends: *Squeakity squeak squeak! Purr…* Pinecone Cookie: What? Of course, I love the forest and all the trees the most! Pinecone Cookie: …?! OH! Pinecone Cookie: I think I understand! Pinecone Cookie: I was never alone!

Pinecone Cookie: Do you like the scarf I got you? Is it warm enough? Lush Evergreen Tree: *Rustle rustle!* Small Animal Friends: *Purr… SQUEAK!* Pinecone Cookie: I’m glad that you like it! Pinecone Cookie: Did you know? You’re supposed to spend the holidays with those dear to you all nice and bundled up. Pinecone Cookie: Which is why I’m spending it with you! Because you’re all my family!

A Year-End Wish

Young Snowfall Villager: Wow, look at it go! Snowfall Villager: It looks like you’re getting your wish next year, ha ha! Young Snowfall Villager: Yay! I wished for another warm and happy year for our family! He he! Snowfall Villager: Ha ha, how kind of you! I’m sure we’ll have an extra warm and happy next year.

Cotton Cookie: Hello there. Young Snowfall Villager: Cotton Cookie! Cotton Cookie: Ha ha. I thought I’d fly a wish as well. Cotton Cookie: *cough cough* Snowfall Villager: Has your cough gotten worse? The winds are chilly today… Will you be okay? Cotton Cookie: Oh, I’ll be just fine. I’ve just grown a bit stale, that’s all. Nothing too dramatic! Cotton Cookie: It’s just that I have a wish I want to send before I get… too stale. Young Snowfall Villager: What do you wish for, Cotton Cookie? Cotton Cookie: My wish is to meet my dear old friend once again. It’s been a while, you see. Young Snowfall Villager: Ooh, I hope your wish comes true, Cotton Cookie! I’ll help you fly your wish! Cotton Cookie: Why, thank you! Young Snowfall Villager: One… two… three! Whee! Cotton Cookie: May it fly far and high, far enough that it reaches him… Young Snowfall Villager: A… ACHOO! It’s so cold all of the sudden! Snowfall Villager: Better head down! Can’t go catching a cold… Cotton Cookie, will you be joining us? Cotton Cookie: You sweetlings go ahead. I will sit here for a bit. Snowfall Villager: Alright. Don’t stay too late! Be careful. Cotton Cookie: Another snowy winter… But warm and soft. Cotton Cookie: I wonder where he went this time… Wind: *Whoosh* Cotton Cookie: ……Hmm? Cotton Cookie: Is it really you…? Cotton Cookie: Has my wish already come true? Cotton Cookie: What story have you brought me this time? He he… Old Friend: …… Sherbert Cookie: I’m back, Cotton Cookie!

[beatrixblog]

Cookie Bond Ideas

Yes my headcanon/au is present in this. Its more of a headcanon than an au because it hasnt been confirmed yet that cacao isnt cursed

``A Snowy Picnic``

Dark Cacao

Cherry Blossom Cookie

Kumiho

Cotton

Cocoa

Caramel Arrow

The night was cold, yet, alas, this did not halt Caramel Arrow Cookie’s advance one bit. She was patrolling the snow, every step making her body feel heavier. She couldn’t become tired, not when there was so much to do.

“Who knew being on duty for 5 hours straight could be so exhausting..No..No time to complain.“

She stopped for a breath, instead catching the gaze of four cookies in the distance. Caramel Arrow Cookie raised an eyebrow in suspicion, walking towards the figures.

Yes, it was indeed Cocoa Cookie, Kumiho Cookie, Cherry Blossom Cookie and Cotton Cookie enjoying a nice picnic.

“What are you doing out here..!? Its the middle of a blizzard..!”

Cherry Blossom Cookie smiled.

“Yes, and beautiful weather for a picnic! Luckily Cotton Cookie’s lantern makes sure we don’t get lost! Would you like to join us, deary?“

Caramel Arrow Cookie sighed. “Apologies, I cannot. I am supposed to be on duty right now.“

Kumiho Cookie smiled.

“I understand you’re at work but its good to take a break every once and a while, my dear.“

Once again, something about Kumiho Cookie’s eyes made it impossible to say no.

“…Alright, Just this once.“

She sat down next to Cotton cookie. Next thing you knew they were laughing and telling stories and eating sandwiches and drinking Cocoa.

Caramel Arrow Cookie’s eyes lit up with awe.

“Wait, you survived the Frost Witch?“

Cotton Cookie smiled, nodding.

…Yet this wonderful time they were having..it was not fated to last. was interrupted by the sudden heavy clanging of metal, and the sound of heavy, thundering footsteps. You felt the overwhelming presence..and the faint purple glow in the distance…emanating from the soul jam itself.

Oh no, it was His Majesty Dark Cacao Cookie! Caramel Arrow Cookie stood up quickly.

“I have to go.“

Kumiho Cookie frowned.

“Why now? We were having such a fun time, dear.“

“No, his majesty will be furious if he finds out I was here.“

Cotton Cookie stood up.

“Well surely we can reason with him?“

Before Caramel Arrow Cookie could dash off, His Majesty was already standing right there, infront of her. The clutch on his blade was tight, and he practically towered over them all. He gazed down at them, his cold purple eyes making them quiver. He was not amused in the slightest..almost angry if you will.

“Your Majesty, I can explain!“

“Out with it, quickly.”

His deep voice shook even Cotton Cookie right down to the very core.

Dark Cacao Cookie let out a disgruntled sigh. He couldn’t bring himself to ruin such a picnic…such fervour must have been present within all of them to host a picnic in such conditions. He looked into Kumiho’s eyes for a split second, His Majesty almost breaking a sweat and his always cold and bitter expression almost faltering.

Kumiho smirked. Even a cookie as great as him could still be charmed by her eyes.

“I will let this slide just this once. It is the holidays, after all.“

Caramel Arrow Cookie gasped in relief.

“Oh! thank your majesty!“

Cherry Blossom could barely contain her excitement. . “A first watcher and an ancient hero himself? This is the greatest picnic ever!“

“Apologies, however I am most busy. I must return to my duties. Safe travels, cookies.“

And with a swift flick of his cape Dark Cacao was gone, already walking back towards the citadel. Such a king of fervour and resolution…Cocoa Cookie stood in awe.

“I’ve heard about the tales of his greatness but I never thought i’d see it in person..!“

Caramel Arrow Cookie smiled.

“I am so grateful to have a king as great as him. And i shall follow his command and head back. Thank you for the wonderful time, i hope our paths cross once more.“

And just like that, Caramel Arrow Cookie had too, Disappeared into the snow.

Yet something felt off. Sure Kumiho Cookie could sense his presence approaching, but there were three presences in one. One was him..the other his soul jam..ofcourse..but what could be the third.. the third felt awfully dark and ghostly..it also felt awfully vengeful and rage filled..and its presence still lingered, as if it was watching them. Yet Cocoa Cookie, Kumiho Cookie, Cotton Cookie and Cherry Blossom Cookie were oblivious to such a presence, and they just continued their picnic in peace.