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#(i say while not writing here in what feels like a month whoops)
maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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those who pick apart every flaw in the wheeler family dynamic to construe some kind of familial abuse storyline for mike lowkey remind me of steve stans who take the multiple instances of steve freaking about his dad ‘what will my dad think/my dad’s gonna kill me’ and the harringtons’ alluded to absent hands off parenting and construct steve a familial abuse backstory. If they wanted mike to have an abuse story they would have given him one. max and the byers are abused children, max by her brother and will/jonathan by lonnie. we also see the duffers write downright flawed parents, max’s mom coping from divorce and work woes with alcohol and not being present to her daughter’s growing depression, hopper suffering from his own fear of loss and lashing out against a child that obviously was gonna act out from being cooped up for a year. if the wheelers were supposed to be anything other than emotionally stunted, conservative parents that sometimes try and sometimes fall short they would be that instead. like max’s mom, like hopper, they contain parenting flaws. you’d think karen and ted were monsters for not always being the perfect support system for a child they cannot understand what’s going on with, supernaturally or otherwise, by the popular opinion of speaking of them here is
there's one key difference between people who do that with mike's family and people who do that with steve's: we're actually supposed to care about mike's family and his relationship with them. the wheelers are one of two families we meet in season one. we meet them first. mike is elliott in E.T and steve is...elliot's older sister's reformed boyfriend (elliott doesn't have an older sister). we're not supposed to care about his family. do the details we get matter? sure, it...explains why steve works at scoops ahoy i guess. you could find ways in which it informs his relationship with nancy i'm sure but it's not that important in the grand scheme of things because steve himself isn't.
what's annoying about people stretching what we see of mike's family and pretending that it's what's happening though is, well, the fact that they pretend it's what's happening and that they'll act like it's in the show and say you have no media literacy if you disagree. i think it's a thing in this fandom especially because people are sooo into Analysis that they forget that not everything has to be canon for you to enjoy it. steve is his stans' special little guy, of course they're gonna take the three things we hear about his family and make it big plot points in the fics they write, you're allowed to do that also. if you want to write a fic where ted is this lonnie type figure then by all means do it because he will never be in the show, just like steve's relationship with his parents will never be explored. that's something steve stans are well aware of, hence the fics and the frustration at the fact that despite his massive screentime steve's feelings don't seem to matter that much and that he doesn't get to process any of his trauma on screen. mike has family dynamics that are important enough to make it into the episodes. mike is given emotional depth. mike is a character that gets to be traumatized on screen. if you want to add to his trauma by making his parents worse than they are, that's what ao3 is for. if they wanted mike's parents to be abusive beyond redemption, they would've made them abusive beyond redemption.
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0tul1ss · 11 months
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#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long????#i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again#it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else !#now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from#and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk#or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose#i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it#i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life#i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me#i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all#i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have#<-going insane#anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship#anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do#good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post#ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with#[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!]#and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me#and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this--#that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle#vent
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shiningstages · 8 months
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rereading marionette stars' observatory epilogue makes me want to add tikoh back to my muse list, but that's. so much. and cupitan.............but that's also so much.
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distantdarlings · 6 months
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HOUSE PRIDE // t. nott
RATING: R / 3.8K WORDS
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Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert
+ SUMMARY - *Requested - based on this* Theo is pissed that you seem to be interested in other guys. The two of you are not officially dating so you find it ridiculous that you can't talk to whomever you want. You have feelings for Theo, though, and think it might be interesting to put his jealousy to the test.
+ WARNINGS - SMUT! Heavy sexual material, degradation, name-calling, jealousy, fem reader, language, dom!Theo--honestly, this is just depraved
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
Pyramids - Frank Ocean
---
You pressed your face to your hands, breathing deeply. You couldn’t believe what you were fucking hearing. The pounding in your head refused to subside as he kept demanding an answer.
“Hello? Do you wanna explain why you were practically throwing yourself on Riddle today at lunch?” the brunette demanded, his eyes widened and wild. Your hands dropped and you made eye contact with the boy. You were in disbelief.
“Throwing myself at him? You dick, I tripped and fell on him! That’s just number one! Number two: you are not my fucking boyfriend,” you shouted, “I can throw myself on whoever I want, whenever I want!”
Theo locked his jaw and pursed his lips slightly. A tell of his that meant he was very angry. He didn’t usually speak much after he pushed past this point. More like, just crossed his arms and stared at you, eye bordering on twitching. You scoffed and held your hands out, waiting for a response from him. He said nothing.
“I don’t need you to tell me who to give attention to, Theo. You are not my boyfriend, I am not your girlfriend. I tripped and fell against Mattheo this morning and we both laughed it off, so why can’t you?”
“You just tripped and fell on him and his hands landed on your ass? Oh, whoops, just an accident!” he mocked you. 
“I don’t know if his hands were on my ass or not, he may have been trying to stabilize me as quickly as he could—but besides the point, who gives a fuck if he was touching my ass? It’s not like you’ve been too eager to do anything anytime soon!” you shout, blood rushing through your ears and cheeks. Shit. You did not mean to say that. His head shot back and his eyes widened slightly. You kept the anger imprinted on your face to attempt to hide the embarrassment you were feeling so strongly. Hopefully, he would think this was a super-confident confession written in a rage. Still, he said nothing.
“Oh, forget it! To hell with you, Theo!” you screamed, grabbing your robes and running out of his dorm room. He said nothing and made no move to stop you. Your feet carried you down the hallway and into your own room. 
None of your roommates were here. You figured they were all in different dorms, preparing for the common room party in a few hours. Once every couple of months, some of the Slytherins—usually seniors—will get together and prepare a “house” party. They’re always fun, high-energy, and filled to the brim with Slytherin pride. Merlin, you loved them. 
You had originally declined to go tonight. You had some leftover work that was due on Monday and you almost thought that Theo would invite you to Hogsmeade or something, but you should have known better than that. It seems all he’s concerned about is his reputation. 
You tugged through the buttons on your uniform top and ripped it off your shoulders. You pulled your skirt and socks off, holding the end of your bed for balance. There were a couple of nice outfits shoved in the trunk beneath the bedframe—you figured something in there would do. You reached up and let your hair down from its elastic, allowing it to fall to its natural length. The ends of the waved strands tickled your skin as you yanked the trunk into the open. Inside were a couple of different combinations, all saved up for special occasions. And if anyone asked you, making Theo Nott as jealous as you possibly could was a very special occasion. 
Your eyes fell on a specific top. A long sleeve, skin-tight sweetheart neckline that plunged a little deeper than it should, and a flared, darkened skirt. You reckoned it was simple and sexy. It practically bled Theo’s name all over your body, claiming you as his, though you pretended like you hated that. He never needed to know it, but you secretly loved how jealous he became when you had the smallest interactions with other people. You blow a curled hair out of your face. The fucker could have been running down the halls with a red tapestry taped to his back and you still wouldn’t call him a red flag. He was just what you wanted; what you’d wanted for years. Whether or not he’d ever actually act on your feelings for each other, you belonged to him and he belonged to you. 
You slipped the outfit on, mussed up your hair a bit, and applied a light layer of makeup. With the two tests, three project due dates, and eighteen assignments you’d had this week, you could use a bit of a touch-up. Hopefully, you didn’t sweat it off by the end of the night—though, that was sort of the goal.
You grabbed your wand and slipped it into your back pocket, patting it twice for good luck, and pushed through the dorm door. Down the hallway, you could hear the faint pounding of music. Your heart raced, keeping in time with the deep bass pushing past the walls. Was this a good idea? For a few moments, you stood in front of your door, pondering your options. Your plan for this evening could either end really well or really badly or you could avoid the possibilities completely and stay in like you originally planned. A deep sigh left you as your eyes slid closed. Who cared? This was your life and, you’d said it earlier, Theo was not your boyfriend and you intended on finishing what you’d started with Mattheo earlier this morning.
Deep cool colors swirled throughout the common room, echoing off of every shadow and highlight in the moulding. Everywhere you looked there was another Slytherin scarf or Quidditch team hat. One boy even wore a Slytherin flag around his neck like a cape. You laughed at the absurd outfit. These parties were most definitely one of the best things about being a Slytherin. Say what you will about the house, but they could throw a fucking party. 
You slid through swaying bodies, feeling the bass echo deep in your chest, rattling your ribcage. A couple of your friends were scattered throughout the crowd and slipped in gracefully with their personal friends. As you passed by them, they waved or flashed you a bright smile, all of which you returned. You would come back and talk but, for now, you were looking for someone specific. 
There was a table set up in front of the fireplace, decked out with green and black decorations, and overflowing with tall glasses of firewhisky. Your eyes skated along the length of the furniture until it reached a familiar body. You smirked and grabbed a drink before making your way over.
Enzo stood against the edge of the table, discussing something with one of the “bartenders.” When you stopped in front of him, his lips ceased and his eyes found your chest, then your eyes. His lips remained parted. Sweet, sweet Enzo. 
“Hey, En, I was wondering if you’d seen Mattheo, anywhere?” you smiled. He said nothing for a few seconds before stuttering back to life like an old car. 
“Uh, no, I haven’t seen him anywhere…uh, why do you need—um, I mean, did you need to talk to him?” he stumbled, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets. The boy he’d been talking to—some fifth-year—snorted and rolled his eyes, turning away from the two of you to pour a couple more drinks. You stepped closer to Enzo, feeling his body heat on you. The shoes you were wearing granted you a couple more inches of height, which, consequently, put your hairline just above his. His eyes were angled slightly upward as he watched you. 
You waved him against you. He leaned in. The confidence burning through you tonight was more than you’d felt in a long time. You felt hurt and angry and frustrated. You could fix one of those quickly. You traced the skin above his ear, pushing a small tuft of copper hair back. A small shudder went through his body as you pressed your lips against his ear.
“I just wanted to dance and was looking for a boy who’d dance with me,” you said slowly. “I thought Mattheo would be the best but maybe you could…you know…”
You pulled away and smiled sweetly, placing a deep innocence into your eyes, watching as his lips parted and closed multiple times. You tilted your head to the right, allowing your eyes to switch from his eyes to his lips ever so briefly.
“I haven’t seen Mattheo, I’ll dance with you,” he said, licking his lips and swallowing thickly. You smiled brightly and grabbed one of the hands hanging limply by his side. You felt his warm skin beneath yours as you tugged him toward the center of the dancing mass. You were pretty sure you recognized the song playing and proceeded to work all of its beats throughout your body, encouraging Enzo to join you.
“Come on, En!” you laughed. “You’re supposed to dance with me.” He seemed to shock out of a momentary stupor. You felt good tonight and you hoped it was showing on your face and body. He still didn’t move and you reckoned he was going to take some physical guiding. 
As the song slowed slightly, you grabbed both of his hands and slid them around your hips. His breath shuddered through his lips as you began moving the two of you. You dropped your hands to his belt and guided his hips a bit, biting back a smile. He had all of the facilities for these particular…activities, he was just really nervous. Soon enough, though, his hips were moving on their own.
You turned around and placed your back against his chest. Without prompting, his hands dropped down to your hips, gripping them firmly. He moved you against him to every beat of the song. To be honest, he was placing a little bit of blush in your stomach. One of your arms raised to wrap loosely around his neck.
“That’s it, baby,” you cooed in his ear, cradling the base of his neck with your hand. One of his hands raised to hold your arm against him as the other stayed intact on your hip. A crooked smile found its way onto his lips as the both of you felt every rhythm the other was putting out. Fuck, maybe you’d picked the wrong boy all along. The way Enzo was grabbing your hips and ever so slowly grinding against your ass had your lips parting in a slow gasp.
“Like this?” he whispered in your ear, his voice low and gravelly. Merlin, help you.
If anything could have pulled you out of your current situation, it was the burning eyes you felt against you pouring into your skin like a brand. You gasped a bit and looked away from Enzo. Almost immediately, you found Theo’s eyes on the two of you. Enzo noticed your sudden change of attention and glanced up, finding the older’s eyes. Like he’d been branded himself, his hands faded away from you and, almost as quickly, so did he. Fucker. So much for sticking by you. 
You were used to it by now, though. Where you were involved, Theo was, too. Even though you weren’t actually together, everyone knew you were Theo’s. Anytime you were hanging out with another boy, he always found out. Even if it was just for a school assignment. 
His jaw was clenched and ticking. His eyes were lidded and ice-cold, angled right at you. You rolled your eyes and huffed, stomping off through the crowd. He couldn’t get whatever he wanted all the time. He needed to pick. He needed to officially claim you as his, take you on dates, buy you gifts, and all that nonsense or he needed to leave you the hell alone. He couldn’t have it both ways. 
You finally came upon the end of the crowd and the staircase leading to the girl’s dorms. You hurried up the steps, not even caring if he was behind you or ignoring you or with a different girl. 
The hallway was completely empty, everybody down at the party or taking an early night. You rushed across the winding floors, trying your best to get to your room before Theo changed his mind. You just wanted to get out of your clothes and makeup and go to bed. Your dorm door appeared around the corner followed by an immense sense of relief.
Your hand closed around the doorknob and—a hand closed tightly around your arm and yanked you back. A yelp escaped your lips as the perpetrator slammed you roughly into the wall just beside the door. It was Theo. He was livid, his breath coming out in hard slants, and his eyes so darkened they appeared black. You swallowed thickly, your breath rushing out of you just as his was. The two of you heard your hearts pounding in tandem.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he demanded, his face inches from yours. Your eyes glanced down from his to his lips, watching the changes in his anger. He waited impatiently for an answer for too long before you realized it wasn’t meant to be a rhetorical question. 
He grabbed your arm once more and pulled you away from the wall. A swift flick of his wand and a fury like no other, and he was pulling you into your empty dorm room. It was almost completely dark by now.
“You want some attention, huh?” he said, casting a flame into the stove set in the middle of the room, his grip on your arm never weakening. He slammed his wand down on your bedside table and pushed you onto your bed. You fell roughly against the mattress, your hands holding you up into a sitting position. He stared down at you wildly, like an angry parent.
“Answer me,” he growled. Your eyes bore the same innocence you’d given to Enzo earlier and you knew that he’d only last a few minutes like this. Already, his facade was flickering and his gaze was softening. 
“I just—I don’t know, Teddy, I—”
“You just, you—you, you…fucking spit it out,” he mocked you. Body betraying your mind, heat pooled in your lower stomach as his face got closer and closer to yours and he got angrier and angrier. If it was anyone else, you’d have gotten embarrassed or angry but with Theo…it was a different feeling.
“All out of confidence, hmm? What happened, baby, you had plenty out there when you were grinding your ass all over Lorenzo Berkshire in front of everyone!”
“What’s wrong with Enzo?” you squeaked, your thumbs rolling over the other.
“He’s not me, you stupid girl,” he roared, his words perking your chest. You pressed your thighs together discreetly, never losing eye contact with him. You hoped he hadn’t seen you.
“Are you serious? Are you fucking turned on right now?” he asked. He had seen you. You didn’t say anything. His hand reached around and roughly gripped your hair, his fingers tugging deliciously on your scalp. He held your head back.
“Answer me, baby,” he whispered, his voice a thousand times different. “Does it turn you on when I shout at you? When you get me jealous and worked up?” The way he was looking down at you had you gulping against the strain being placed on your throat. You nodded.
“God, you’re so fucking pathetic,” he laughed darkly, the sinister tone in his voice echoing in your stomach. His hand let go of your hair and grabbed your jaw tightly. He held your face up so you were looking directly into his eyes.
“Maybe I need to remind you who you fucking belong to?” An eyebrow quirked. You nodded once more, anticipation hitting you like a train. He smirked, releasing your jaw by pushing you back roughly. Your back came into contact with the bed, the material nearly knocking the breath out of you. 
He crawled over you slowly, letting his lips ghost over your exposed cleavage, neck, chin, lips. He paused and allowed his breath to pour into your mouth. He tasted like alcohol, the scent of it burning your lips. He pushed his tongue out and gently traced it over your bottom lip. Your lips parted in a gasp at the contact. Just as soon as your mouth had opened, his had covered it, suffocating all breath. You moaned into him, feeling the way his body held you tightly against the mattress. 
You raised your hand to place your fingers beneath his shirt, but one of his hands reached down and grabbed yours with a speed your intoxicated brain wasn’t capable of comprehending right now. He raised them above your head and held them with a grip like a vice, his fingers violent and unyielding. You’d definitely have bruises in the morning. 
You bucked your hips against him, trying to illicit some contact between your core and his. He grunted at the touch before pulling back and roughly turning you over, pressing your chest into the mattress. 
“Don’t fucking do that,” he growled into your ear, still holding your hands tightly above you. “Do as I fucking say. I’m going to pull this skirt up and I’m going to fuck you and you’re not going to say a word but my name. Do you understand me?” You nodded frantically, impatiently waiting for some contact. 
“Keep your hands there,” he instructed as he slowly let them go. You curled your fingers around the edge of the bed to keep them locked in place. You didn’t dare disobey him. 
Behind you, you could hear the clink of his belt buckle as he pulled it from his jeans and dropped it to the floor. The anticipation was killing you, your thighs pressing tightly together for a chance at some friction. The heat between them was beginning to become too much. 
He pressed bruising kisses along the side of your neck, trailing them down your shoulder. His teeth cut along the flesh, ripping blacks and blues into the sensitive skin. You whimpered at the feeling, knowing good and well he just wanted everyone to see whose you were.
His fingers ghosted along the outsides of your thighs, tracing the chills that appeared in their wake. You shuddered against the sheets, waiting to feel everything he was about to do. You couldn’t see any of his movements and, for whatever reason, that amplified the feeling by a million. 
There was a moment of nothing except for the sound of rustling clothing. No part of him touched you and you found yourself becoming more and more desperate by the moment. You reckoned he was removing unnecessary items of his outfit but if he didn’t do something soon, you were going to start pitching a fit. 
Then his thumb pressed against your thin undergarments, right where you needed him the very most. An awfully audible moan left your lips and your spine arched against his touch. Merlin help anyone who walked by this dorm or, worse, tried to come in.
“Please, baby,” you sighed, your fingers clenching tightly against the mattress. His hand roughly grabbed your hair once more, tugging your head back.
“My name only, you dumb slut,” he insulted before pushing your head back into the sheets. One hand held your head to the bed as the other lined his hips up with yours. 
No matter how many times the two of you did this, you’d never get used to it. He was just so much better than any of the other boys in school. And there were a lot of them too. None of them felt like Theo and he knew it, too. He knew that you would always come back to him. He was impossible to leave. His touch and rough, degrading words were addictive and you couldn’t stay away from him. Your friends had told you over and over again that you needed to drop him and completely move on but you just couldn’t. He was the closest thing to a drug you had.
He tucked a finger beneath your undergarments and slid them over to the side. He placed a hand in front of your face. “Spit,” he ordered. You complied. He spread the material over his fingers slowly, coating each one thoroughly. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his hand disappear and reintroduce itself with your core. The tips of his soaked fingers skirted between the slit of your skin, lathering you in his touch. Just as he’d instructed, his name poured from your lips like a prayer. 
He pulled his hands away and quickly replaced them with a dark, warm heat that pressed into you agonizingly slowly, stretching every part of you out.
“Fuck, it’s been a while,” he groaned breathlessly, pushing into you until he bottomed out. His lips curve just above your ear, every moan and whisper touching your mind like a soft hand. As he began to move, they became louder and made less sense to either of you. His name curled around the room. You worshipped him. The reverence you placed on every syllable touched his chest and slid down to his core. He gasped into your ear. You sounded so fucking good.
It didn’t matter if he fucked every girl in Hogwarts, none of them could ever compare to you. 
“Theo, baby, you feel so good,” you screamed, the words vibrating your skin. 
“Yeah, baby?” he breathed. You moaned aloud as he pressed an especially sharp thrust against you. “I know, I know.”
“Please, please, please,” you babbled, your words pathetic and useless. His hips never ceased their brutal pace.
“That’s it, baby,” he cooed. “Are you my girl? Or are you Enzo’s?” He growled the last part, his fingers tangling painfully in your hair. You yelped at the feeling, tilting your head back to relieve some of the pain.
“No, no! I’m yours, Teddy, I’m all yours, please,” you begged. 
“That’s right, baby.” He released your hair. Every movement of his body brought you closer and closer to your end. His hands gripping your hips and pulling himself toward his own, his lips curling against your ear, his weight holding you perfectly in place.
Neither of you would last much longer and you both knew that. Every deep push of his hips drove you further into your pleasure as you began to close around him, gradually coaxing a release out of him. One of his hands dropped down to trace tight circles against you, ignoring the way your hips quaked to get away from the overstimulation. You were done for. 
Every sound pouring from his lips began to mingle with yours a bit closer as he pushed you through both of your final breaths. His hips got slower and his grip loosened on your waist. The loss of his support sent your weakened body falling back down to the mattress. A breathless chuckle came from him as he laid down beside you, his shimmering skin luminescent in the moonlight. You presented him with a tired smile. 
“Could Enzo fuck you like that?” he asked, a proud smirk imprinted on his lips.
“I don’t know—I’ll let you know when I find out.”
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ja3hwa · 7 months
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☜𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑☞
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October is finally here. The month where Fanfic writers run wild with their ideas and fantasies. This is my first time writing this event, and I was honestly so stressed but very excited about it. So, without further ado, let's get started. ♥︎
All works are mature, viewers be advised.
Masterlist | Navigation
Day 1: Car Sex - [Gloomy Days]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : A trip turned sour due to a storm. But, luckily, Yunho knows just the thing in turning this gloomy day into a more steamy one.
Day 2: Voyeurism - [Eyes On Me]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Biker Gang Leader doesn't like sharing unless it's to do with his best friend.
Day 3: Shower Sex - [Just One Moment]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : When Jongho comes from a long and stressful day, he only wants one thing... You bent over.
Day 4: Food Play - [The Sweetness Of You]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : It all started with a simple dinner and a movie. But when Seonghwa asked if you wanted dessert, you knew your sugar was about to spike from more than just the sweetness of the fruits and chocolate.
Day 5: Exhibitionism - [Dimly Lit Bathroom]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Wooyoung couldn't keep his hands off you on a regular basis. But when he sees you in such a sexy outfit, he has no choice but to drag you to the nearest bathroom.
Day 6: Rough/Possessive sex - [Whoops]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to show your hot-headed lover that you could protect yourself. And what better way than to go looking for his number on rival....
Day 7: Thigh riding/dry humping - [Dedicated To You]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You sweet producer boyfriend wanted to share something with you. But your neediness had other plans.
Day 8: Sensory Deprivation - [He Has Control]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were his work of art, and he loved to watch you squirm under him.
Day 9: Cock Warning - [Pure Relaxation]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Jongho kept losing over and over again. Becoming increasingly more frustrated as time passes, it's a good thing you are here to help him cool off.
Day 10: Bondage - [Pretty Boy]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : It's Yeosangs turn to know what it feels like to have rope pull and tug on his beautiful skin, and he can't help my whimper at the sheer idea of it.
Day 11: Bike Sex/Edging - [A Ride That To Last A Lifetime]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Yeosang had begged for weeks for you to go for a ride with him... Cavinging in, you finally realize how pleasurable it is to ride his bike.
Day 12: Size Kink/Size Difference - [Why So Tense?]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your two professors want nothing more than to help you with your studies. Personally gifting you some private lessons...
Day 13: Breath Play - [Make You Mine]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : San can't help but send death glares to any man that tried to have your attention for too long. Too bad you dont belong to him...yet.
Day 14: Marking/Biting - [Intoxicated]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your friend needed your help with trying out one of her experiments and let's just say Mingi was about to never let you leave the bedroom ever again because of it.
Day 15: Corruption - [God isn't here]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bad Boy Hongjoong wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?
Day 16: Spit Play - [Love, Lust Has No Bounds]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were in love with the enemy, and oh, how it was it exciting.
Day 17: Fingering/Squirting - [Move]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You needed him, any part of him. But Seonghwa wanted to see you squirm. To see you cry and beg for him to satisfy you.
Day 18: Toys/Mirror sex - [The Perfect Gift]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Hongjoong couldn't decide what gift to buy you while we was traveling. So he bought them all and now wants you to try them out. Every. Single. One.
Day 19: Dacryphillia/Clit Play - [Prove It]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Late night conversations aren't suppose to end in sex... right?
Day 20: Sex pollen - [Out Of This World]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were gifted an alien plant from one of your friends that lived off the planet since you loved greenery. Little did anyone know the pollen had some weird side effects when inhaled.
Day 21: Temperature Play - [Cold To The Touch]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your undead lover had finally come back from a late night hunt, finding you shivering from the winter weather. But do not fret, as he was...skilled in keeping others warm-ish.
Day 22: Double Penetration - [New Member]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're the newest member to join one of the most famous rock bands. And luckily for you they are all hot...and fuckable.
Day 23: Praise/Body Worship - [Goddess Amongst Commoners]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Overhearing for so called friends make fun about your "failures" in life made your loving mobboss boyfriend very unhappy. No one makes his Honey cry.
Day 24: Cum Play/overstim - [Milk Me Dry]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Wooyoung couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.
Day 25: Caught in the act - [Leave Or Join]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to help your boyfriend relax. It just so happened that some poor soul decided to interrupt.
Day 26: Power Play/Mafia - [Black Card]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were hiding a big secret from your two loving boyfriends. What happens when they finally find out?
Day 27: Succubus/incubus - [You Make Me, Make Sense]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Halloween is filled with spooky ghost stories and haunted places. But what if you end up walking right into a nightmare that was hiding a dream?
Day 28: Tentacles - [Planet 3564AB]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were a mercenary, searching for your next job in the galaxy. Little did you know, being stuck on a wateland planet was about to gift you more than just galactic credits.
Day 29: Monster Fuckers - [My Everything]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : Rain was pouring, and your heart was aching. You didn't care what the villagers nor that priest thought about him. You loved him, and you were going to prove it.
Day 30: Werewolf On Heat/Breeding - [Let Me Help]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : You didn't know what it meant to be on heat let alone know you could have one since you weren't a wolf... but here you were and Yunho was going to help you through it.
Day 31: Trick or Treat - [Eternally Ours]
↳ 【Synopsis】 : The night was cold, the manor even colder. Until a fire of pure lust was lit.
𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑 : 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝐼𝑆 𝐼𝑁 𝑁𝑂 𝑊𝐴𝑌 𝐴 𝑇𝑅𝑈𝐸 𝐷𝐸𝑃𝐼𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝑂𝐹 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐴𝑇𝐸𝐸𝑍 𝑀𝐸𝑀𝐵𝐸𝑅𝑆. 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝐼𝑆 𝑃𝑈𝑅𝐸 𝐹𝐼𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐼𝑆 𝑁𝑂𝑇 𝑇𝑂 𝐵𝐸 𝑇𝐴𝐾𝐸𝑁 𝑆𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑂𝑈𝑆𝐿𝑌.
© 𝐉𝐚𝟑𝐡𝐰𝐚. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my work in any way, shape, or form.
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benedictscanvas · 4 months
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pretty boy, pretty girl - jamie tartt x reader
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pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader
word count: 2.1k
a/n: okay yes. it has been six months. which is actually mad to me, but there we are - whoops! i've been off following my dream and wrote this while procrastinating an assignment, so this is by no means a return!! honestly i was just itching to write it, but i don't know how much time i have for more - enjoy nevertheless <3
warnings: just a little bit of suggestion towards the end, reader is referred to as 'pretty girl' as the title implies amongst other pet names, quite a lot of swearing (some things don't change)
---
“Hi love.”
Jamie barely murmurs it as he walks past you, can’t help himself but to drag a palm along your back, one shoulder blade to the other, as he goes. 
He knows he’s bold sometimes, but he swears it’s instinct. He glances back to see whether your expression holds any discomfort, but all he finds is your grin, a tiny wave. He continues on his path towards the canteen, knowing that your corridor conversation with Rebecca is probably important.
Somewhere between here and there, he decides to get your lunch, your usual, and sits alone on a table until you appear.
You do, three and a half minutes later. As soon as he sees you, the irrepressible urge to make you grin again is back with a vengeance. He waves you over to his table with a gesture to the food he’s got for you and- there it is again.
If he was a slightly smarter man, maybe he’d consider why all it took was the sight of him to draw your lips upwards, set your eyes alight.
“Thought I’d save y’ from the queue,” he speaks, still soft, in a tone he feels he only uses with you. You match his unnecessary low volume.
“Thanks, angel,” you say easily, and you must not see his stomach doing flips, “Too good to me, you are.”
“Shut up,” he deflects, wonders if you can see him fluster at your nickname for him, “Are you still coming tonight?”
You groan. He frowns, and you quickly correct.
“Sorry. It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah, you sound proper convinced, an’ all.”
You chuckle, taking a bite out of your sandwich and taking a pause to chew. Jamie eats too, content to let you think before you speak. It was slowly teaching him to do the same.
“I’m just boring, Jamie. My favourite people are all under this roof, but usually they’re sober, you know?”
He often forgets you don’t really drink. Your friendship (however sour that word feels in relation to you) usually confined to these halls, to the pitch, to various football stadiums up and down the country. When they all get a chance to let loose, you’re very quick with the excuses, but he’s believed them blindly until this moment.
“Shit, y’ don’t drink, right? I can’t imagine that’s much fun in a club. I won’t tell anyone if you happen to come down with an illness or somethin’ this afternoon.”
You’re grinning at him again, all bright and sunny. It’s downright infectious, so Jamie nudges your foot with his on purpose and then apologises like it’s an accident.
“You’re alright,” you reassure, “I will join tonight. Even if it just proves to myself I’m not missing out on anything. Maybe Colin’s not as bad a drunk as I’ve been led to believe.”
Jamie winces.
“No, he is pretty bad,” he admits and then finally comes up with something to make you more comfortable, “Hey, what about this? I won’t drink either and we can spend the evening laughin’ at everyone else.”
You poke his hand and he tries not to drop his crisp packet.
“It’s everyone’s ‘relax and recharge’ night, Ted said. We both know you relax much easier with a few drinks in you. And I’d never judge anyone for that, I really hope it doesn’t come across like I’m judging any-“
“It doesn’t, sweetness,” he cuts in, “But actually, I’ll relax better if I’m one hundred percent positive that you’re relaxing too. What better way than judgin’ everyone else, together like?”
You purse your lips thoughtfully, mid-chew. He feels like he’s holding his breath, like he’s underwater and you’re in charge of the oxygen tank.
“Well, see how you feel when we’re there. It sounds lovely but only if you’re still up for it when we’re right next to a bar,” you say, still unconvinced. He wants to convince you fully, but he can’t decide if he should argue with you or kiss you silly before you speak again, “Hey, if not, I’ll buy you a drink?”
“Pretty sure that’s my line, love.”
“I said it, I meant it. Girls can buy drinks for pretty boys, you know.”
He thinks you might have removed his oxygen tank now. There’s some cruelty in that sentence but you don’t know you’re wielding it. He wills himself to flirt back even though it’ll only make him feel sick.
“Okay, pretty girl. One passionfruit J2O, please.”
Another grin. He’s so fucking fucked.
---
He’s been waiting for you for around forty minutes. He doesn’t know if that’s the normal amount of time you take to get ready, even if he wishes he knew, so he just waits, leaning against his car.
After fifty, he decides there’s no harm in just checking you’re alright and haven’t slipped on a sparkly floor that an evening cleaner has done a number on.
You mentioned going to the kit room to get changed, and he meets Will on his way there.
“Hey mate, you seen Y/N?”
Will looks paler than he’s ever been. Guilty. Jamie narrows his eyes and waits.
“Kit room.”
It’s all that Will says. When Jamie doesn’t walk off immediately, still waiting for an explanation for Will’s strange demeanour, Will turns around and legs it all the way down the corridor, turns left at the end and never returns.
Jamie shakes his head and continues in the direction of the kit room. The closer he gets, the more he hears. Muffled banging, shouting. He picks up the pace.
“Y/N? Love?”
“Jamie! Jamie, in here!”
Your voice floats out from the kit room and he hurries over. Still very confused, Jamie turns the door handle and finds the door won’t budge, however hard he shoves his shoulder against it.
“It’s locked, babe. Did you lock it?”
He hears your exasperated sigh and feels a little embarrassed.
“No I didn’t bleeding lock it! Well, I did, when I was getting changed, but then when I unlocked it my side it had been locked from the outside.”
Jamie struggled to put the dots together. Had Will locked you in? Judging by the running, he had… and he’d done it on purpose. A spark of anger shot down Jamie’s spine but he tried to convince himself there must be a reason.
Before he could, there was a hand on his on the door, pulling him away. It was being unlocked by another hand and then he was being shoved inside, hard enough to stumble against one of the benches. A piece of paper was thrown at his face and Jamie groaned as he heard the lock click back in place.
“What the fuck?” he muttered as he stood up fully, more dazed than angry now as he stared at the locked door.
“Jesus, Jamie, are you alright? Who the fuck was that?”
“I dunno,” he says, staring at the door as if it might have answers. Your hand on his face wakes him up, his eyes shifting to yours where you look him over with concern.
“You’re alright, though?”
You ask it like you need the answer, and Jamie needs you to stop trailing a finger along his hairline either way.
“Fine, love,” he assures you, patting the juncture between your shoulder and neck gently until your hands drop to your sides. Then he raises his voice, and he’s not really talking to you anymore, “Whoever’s locked us in here as some kind of joke won’t be fuckin’ alright though!”
No answer. He picks up the small piece of paper from the floor and reads it in his head.
Tell her, you prick.
He’s actually going to hit Roy with his car. Lightly, definitely not enough to damage him, but enough to really, really piss him off.
This was all some ridiculous attempt to make him tell you how he felt about you? Absolutely not. Never. He wouldn’t be coerced into something so delicate, so important.
“What’s it say?”
You’re peering over the top of the paper, but he folds it in two before you can read anything. His chuckle comes out strained.
“It says: Get fucking pranked. Must be Roy, he’s probably scared Will into helpin’ him, the fucker. I’m afraid it’s payback for putting all his socks on the ceiling last week, babe, an’ you’ve been caught in the middle.”
You pause, staring at your shoes. For some reason, you look far more forlorn than the situation calls for, but it’s gone before he can think about it further.
“On the ceiling?”
He nods and you giggle. It’s only as you step away from him in your laughter that he realises how close you had been. He should’ve savoured it.
It’s also only as you step away that Jamie finally gets a glimpse of your outfit and nearly reaches out to the nearby bench for strength. He’s never seen you in a v-neck anything before, let alone a dress, and he thinks it might do him in.
“You look good,” he says lamely, then tries again, “Great. Fan-fuckin’-tastic, I mean.”
“I like that last one,” you smile, ducking your head. He thinks, or rather hopes, you’re a little flustered, “Fan-fuckin’-tastic happens to be what I was going for.”
“Yeah,” he breathes, words gone as soon as he’d found them. And now he was staring. Shit.
“I like your suit,” you say, maybe breathless yourself. It must be his ears. You reach up as if you might fiddle with his lapel but just point towards it before your hand drops again. You practically fall down onto the bench you’re both stood beside and he follows, ever obedient, “Shame no one else will ever see it. How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”
The suit isn’t for anyone except you. That’s what he’d say if he had any stupid bravery. He’s an awful coward, he thinks.
“Until Roy gets bored or Keeley finds out I reckon,” Jamie guesses, “Y’ wanna play I-spy?”
You sigh, but when he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye, you’re grinning your silly, lovely grin again.
“I spy with my little eye…”
---
It is around 11pm, when Jamie has not long fallen asleep against the jacket he had scrunched behind his head, that he feels your hand on his ankle. He can tell, as he wakes without opening his eyes, that you’re not trying to rouse him. The touch is light, feathery. Maybe an accident.
No, not an accident. It wouldn’t have lasted this long, and your thumb is drawing absentminded circles into his ankle bone. You think he’s asleep and you’ve reached out to hold him anyway.
He opens his eyes but doesn’t move. His legs are stretched out on the bench in front of him and you sit upright next his sock-clad feet, one hand on his bare ankle. You’re staring at a piece of paper so intently he wonders what could possibly be so interesting.
“This doesn’t say get fucking pranked, Jamie,” you murmur, and his hand flies to his jacket pocket. It must have fallen out when he slumped into a slumber. He’s sat up in a blink, watching the hand that had been so soothing, fall back at your side suddenly.
“I’m sorry. Shit. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“No, don’t,” you insist, still staring at the piece of paper. Instead of whirling on him for answers, you reach calmly into one of the boot cubbies beside your head and pull out a piece of paper from one of the boots. You chuck it at him without looking.
He unfolds it with careful, if shaky, hands.
Tell him, you silly shit.
It takes him an absurdly long time to understand what the hell this second piece of paper means. Later, when the two of you look back on this moment (and you do so often), you’ll wonder how he could have been so dense and he’ll spin you a line about how too good to be true it all felt. But in the moment, he has no lines and no words, until your hand lands heavy on his knee this time.
“Jamie,” you say softly, through a grin that is so different from your usual that he could pass out. It’s so beautiful and so strikingly lovesick that he thinks he might actually be sick, “What do you have to tell me?”
“What?”
He feels dumber than he’s ever felt. But your hand is still on his knee and now you’re shuffling closer to him on the bench.
“What do you have to tell me?” you repeat, then you poke his chest playfully as you add, “You prick.”
He still looks confused, so you clearly decide the best way to catch him up is to kiss him.
You pull away after a moment, a moment of pure heaven, because clearly you don't want to kiss him fully until he's all clued in.
"Come on, pretty boy," you say, teasing, "Figure it out. I was going to buy you a passionfruit J2O. It's the sign of all signs."
He should be laughing at your joke, but all he really wants to do is kiss you again. And again.
Maybe again.
"Oh pretty girl," he says, and he feels the rumble of his low tone in his chest. He places a hand on your face, fingers itching at your hairline, "I'll tell you anything ya wanna hear, I swear. Anythin'."
He hears your breath hitch, but he feels it too, where the meat of his palm is covering your neck.
"Anything?" you answer back, "I could have a lot of fun with this."
You scrunch up your brow like you're thinking and he's so stupidly in love with you that he just tells you. Too-soon be damned.
"Smooth talker," you laugh, giddy, and you kiss him again. And it's so good that he doesn't even remember you didn't say it back until hours later.
(at which point, you say it back so many times and in so many ways, Jamie is certain that he's the luckiest man in the world. he might not hit Roy with his car after all)
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Comeback Queen - Part 1 (Alexia Putellas x Reader)
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Here you go! I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys like it. Part 2 will be out tomorrow night! Also if you want to share your theories on where reader is going please send them my way. I’m interested to see what you guys think! 🫶
Months. That’s how long it had been since you had been in this position. Month and months and months. Months longer than it should have been too. Alexia had unfortunately had complications with her knee after coming back to playing the first time and this meant that she was side lined for a further few months.
During her time out on the side lines, you had picked up a knock yourself and was now part of the recovery squad. You hated the first month of your recovery purely because if you couldn’t be playing you want to be watching your love do what she does best, but that wasn’t possible either.
So, when Alexia went away with the Spanish squad and phoned you to say even though she wouldn’t be playing she is fit enough to sit on the bench, you knew it wouldn’t be long until that did happen.
You were proven right a couple weeks later. It was
You were sat in the stands with Mapi and a few of the other girls who had some sort of knock or injury, just behind the bench. Alexia had excitedly told you last night that Jona was planning on putting her on in the second half of todays match. This had excited you too as it meant you got to do your second favourite thing to do with football, watching her play. Of course, this was slightly behind playing yourself but that isn’t possible right now.
The first half flew by and with Salma’s hattrick Barca was already cruising towards the win, something that meant slightly less pressure on your loves shoulders when she did come on which you knew would help even if she didn’t really think about it. Alexia had gone through a pretty extensive warm up during the half time break so you had a feeling it wouldn’t be too long until you saw her enter the field. You didn’t leave your seat like the others wanting to make sure you caught every ball touch the woman had. She had just run back down the tunnel to catch the last bit of the half time team talk and probably give her own little captains speech with Irene.
The next time you caught her moving was in the 60th minute. She was up on the side lines in her kit, bib over the top to warm up quickly but you knew it wouldn’t be long until she was out on the pitch and the rest of the stadium could tell too. Not even a minute later and she was lined up with .. and .. ready for her much awaited and eagerly anticipated return.
She got given the captains armband and received a loud round of applause as she ran on, you made sure to whoop and cheer as loud as you could. Determined to show your support for your lover.
Alexia had been on the pitch for barely 10 minutes when the ball was crossed into Lucy at the back post, you held your breath as the ball bounced off her and into the middle of the box where your favourite number 11 was waiting. She didn’t catch the shot as cleanly as you knew she would have wished to, but it didn’t matter as it nestled into the bottom right corner.
You were up in a flash jumping with the other injured players as much as physically possible for you all. Of course she was in the right place at the right time, she had been studying tapes her whole life pretty much. She just knew the game and now even more than ever possibly, she knew her team.
The rest of the game went on and even though the opposition scored it didn’t dull the buzz around the stadium, the return of Frido last game and now Ale today just had set the right feeling within the club. Now all that was left was you and Mapi.
Speaking of, Mapi was dragging you by the hand down to the pitch where you greeted Ingrid when she approached, you chatted with them as well as Keira and Aitana for a while, but your eyes never drifted far from Alexia as she made her way round the fans. You were always in awe of how she interacted with them no matter the occasion, she always had time to sign things and take photos.
She had made her way around all the fans she could today and was about to head down the tunnel when she spotted you. Her eyes met yours and you could see the joy in them as soon as they did, the smile widening on her lips to match. She changed direction and headed towards where you were stood with the other women.
As she got closer you excused yourself from the conversation around dinner and made a beeline for her. You instantly wrapped your arms around her and held on with all you had, her arms wrapping around your waist and holding you firmly but not tight. “I’m so proud of you, mi vida. A goal too right away, only you could do that.” She gave you a little extra squeeze before pulling back.
“Had someone to score for didn’t I.” You grinned in her direction and went to reply when Pina jumped into the conversation from behind you both.
“You always score for y/n can’t you dedicate it to someone else for once.” You exchanged a look with your wife at this, you could see the smirk rising on her face, but you gave her a warning look. As much as you loved Claudia you knew she had a big mouth and what you had to share should only come from the two of you, being as it affected those you play with or did play with.
“What can I say, when you love someone this much it’s easy to dedicate a goal to them.” This caused a smile to rise to your face.
Pina walked away with a slightly disturbed look on her face, one that you knew was due to her distaste for the lovey stuff she had just heard from her captain. “You are capi mush when y/n is around.” Was a comment thrown over her shoulder as she walked away, a comment that had your girlfriend giving you a quick peck to the lips before she was off running after her. Causing the young Spaniard to squeal and bolt off in her counterpart Patri’s direction, you wife hot on her heels.
You giggled at their antics and met back up with Mapi to go out to the car, you had picked the couple up today and would be dropping them home on your way back to yours and Alexia’s place.
Mapi and Ingrid had just departed the car with the promise to be ready for when you are due to pick them up later to car share to dinner. Alexia was staring out the passenger side window obviously deep in thought because her eyebrows had the cute crinkle in them, they always had when the gears in her head were working overtime.
“What’s going on in the beautiful mind of your babe?” When she didn’t reply you got a little concerned, Alexia was not normally that far in her head that she couldn’t even hear you. To gain her attention you gently rested your hand on her thigh which caused her to jump slightly. “Lo siento I didn’t mean to make you jump, are you okay?”
Alexia grabbed the hand on her thigh and laced your fingers together and gave your hand a squeeze, “Si no sorry I’m okay just thinking.” This caused you to chuckle slightly which meant you got a confused look from the woman riding shotgun.
“I know you are thinking gupa, that’s why I put my hand on you to get your attention. I asked you what was going on in that beautiful head of yours and you were too far gone.” You squeezed the hand in yours a couple time to give her some comfort.
“I think we should tell them.” She was looking directly at you now and you knew this had been playing on her mind longer than just this car journey. You gave her hand another squeeze before you replied.
“I think we should soon too, but not today. Today is about you amor, I don’t want anything to take away from us celebrating that, you. But yes, I do think soon we need to too.” Alexia was nodding away in the passenger seat as you spoke and gave you a smile as she gripped your hand in 3 successive squeezes, a gesture you knew meant she loved you.
The rest of the journey home was spent talking about how you were going to share your news, you were still not sure how some of the girls would take your departure from the squad.
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lincolndjarin · 2 months
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Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 5
chapter five : i'll decide where to go from here
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series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist
a/n : happy last chapter of oh honey!!!! took a while to get out bc i was briefly on hiatus and then was in a slump (whoops) but here it is. this is another case of me writing an ending before the story so this has been the intended ending since i started and i hope you all like it as much as i do
pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader
rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings
word count : 6.4k
summary : a look into the past and present of life in honey, west virginia
warnings, etc. : language, allusions to sex, angst & fluff, complicated relationships and people who are trying to handle them, an obscene amount of flashbacks, reader has hair and is carried by Joel, several timelines in no particular order.
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“C’mere, bunny.” His stubble brushes against the back of your neck, his mouth is warm as you feel a kiss placed against your spine. 
“Mmm, what’s on the agenda for today?” You hum, pushing back against him a bit, the camper’s freezing in the winter, your heater broke a week ago and the parts Joel ordered to fix it won’t be in for a week. So you’re stuck with a little space heater you’d bought at the hardware store. 
“I was thinkin’ we’d just do this for a while.” His arms tighten around your waist and stomach with a sigh. “We could just stay in today, order food, watch a movie on your laptop.” He yawns before nestling close against you. 
“It’s too cold to stay here, it’s supposed to snow all weekend, it’s only gonna get worse. Maria even closed the home early yesterday” You groan, rolling over in his arms to press your face into his neck. The tips of your nose and ears are freezing, the two of you are under all the blankets you own, bundled up, when you peer out the window you can see the snow falling and settling on the trees. 
Joel mumbles into your hair, deeply inhaling. “Why don’t you pack a bag and we can head back to the house then. You can stay until Monday and can fix the heat while you’re at work.” 
“I hate staying at your place, all of my shit is here.” You spend most weekends at Joel’s, it’s easiest that way, but packing up all of your things and bringing them back and forth is getting tiring. 
“Just bring it with you.” 
“I think you underestimate how much stuff I need for four days.” You’re already giving yourself a headache trying to make a mental list of everything you’ll need. 
“Why don’t you just move in.” He mumbles with another yawn. “It would make it easier for both of us if all your stuff was there.” It isn’t until he realizes that you’re frozen in place that he opens his eyes. “Or not, just a thought.” 
You stammer an excuse, hoping to alleviate the tension that’s suddenly lingering between you. “I just- I don’t know if we’re there yet.”
“I didn’t mean to rush you, just thought I’d offer.” He shrugs before pulling you close again.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper into his chest.
“Don’t be. You’re right, it’s too soon for that.” 
You’ve been together for a year now, you almost never sleep apart, if anything you should have moved in six months ago. 
What’s stopping you? 
You’ve been distancing yourself from any concrete commitments for sometime now and even if he never says it you know it bothers him. When do you stop punishing him for something you claim you’ve forgiven him for? He doesn’t hurt people as often anymore, at least he’s trying harder not to. But it’s getting hard for the both of you to keep up this system of locking yourselves in his room for a week every month. 
Sometimes your cycle syncs with Maria and Sarah has to drive in from out of town to watch Ellie, it’s just generally become harder to manage. 
But you can’t leave him when he’s like that. 
On the rare occasion that you’re too exhausted to stay awake and entertain him he’ll end up in the woods and a massacred corpse ends up on your table when you return to work. 
Everytime you think you’ve found forgiveness and acceptance you’re reminded of the fact that you love a monster. A selfish choice that you make every day. And everytime you tell him you can’t live with the guilt he gives you the same option. 
Kill him. 
You’re sure he doesn’t mean to make it sound so grim, each of you have complicated relationships with death. You just don’t think you’ll be able to live without him, and it’s not like he expects you to kill him yourself, he always tells you he’ll handle it with Tommy but you always shoot the idea down and you’re back to square one. 
“I just need a little more time, I promise this isn’t forever.” You mumble as you sit up.
“I’d do anything for you, anything at all. Just tell me what to do.” 
You don’t doubt that. But he still doesn’t give you what you actually want, all you ask of him is options that don’t involve him, or any more innocent people, on your cadaver cart.
The bed is empty when you wake up. 
You knew it would be when you went to bed alone last night but a part of you, after all this time, still feels incomplete when the sheets beside you are cold. The creaking under the floorboards is the only noise in the house. 
Your alarm clock reads 6:58 a.m. and you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you need to be up so you throw the blankets aside, stretch your arms above your head, and stand. Right on cue you hear the familiar stomping down the hall before your door swings open, Ellie rubs her eyes before scurrying over to you. Her hair’s in disarray, having fallen out of the braid you put it in last night, you scoop her up into your arms, trying to smooth the mess down. 
“Good morning, little monster.” You mumble, kissing her cheek before carrying her down the hall and into the kitchen. You can’t help but wonder how much longer she’ll be small enough to hold like this. She’s already almost too heavy for you to lift for this long, and the living room and kitchen are still decorated with banners and deflating balloons from her sixth birthday party yesterday. 
Kids birthdays, elementary school, home owning? 
Even after a couple years it’s still a little dizzying that this is your life now. You set her down at the table, retrieving the generic sugary cereal you’ve grown fond of from the cabinet along with bowls, spoons, and milk, setting them down on the table in front of her. 
“Can I feed the sheep before we go?” She says before reaching for her spoon, you nod.
“If you brush your teeth without giving me a hard time.” You fill your bowls, you have to remind her to slow down a few times as she shovels cereal into her mouth, eager to go out to the barn. You’re only halfway through your bowl when she runs off in the direction of her room.   
You hear the telltale sounds of her pushing her step stool across the tile of the bathroom as she rummages through the cabinet. As you finish up your own food and tidy up you make a mental list of everything you need to do today. 
Get Ellie ready for school. 
Tend to the sheep. 
Drive Ellie to school. 
You take your phone out of your sweatpants pocket, 7:16, and text Maria to make sure they’re still good to take her this weekend. Ellie hums as she brushes her teeth when you peer into the bathroom before making your way into your own room, changing quickly, you’ve got about an hour before you need to leave. 
Drive Ellie to daycare. 
Grocery shopping. 
Oil change. 
Making lists helps. You like knowing what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, you’ve had enough surprises in your life, you don’t like when the routine changes. Without your routine you’d lose yourself entirely. Ellie helps, she likes structure as much as you do, you stand behind her in the bathroom now watching her finish up and making sure she did a good job. The sparkling stone on the counter catches your eye, a reminder that you’re constantly forgetting your ring. It’s a bit much for your taste but it’s a family heirloom and Joel insisted. Sliding it onto your finger as Ellie hands it to you.
Check on Ellie.
Clean the house. 
Make dinner. 
Before she can run back to her room you gently pull her back by the collar of her shirt, grabbing a hair tie off the counter you tie her hair in a ponytail before letting her go get dressed. By the time she’s ready you’ve got your jacket on, holding Ellie’s coat out for her to stick her arms through the sleeves. She already has a toothy grin plastered on her face as you both step out of the sliding doors leading to the backyard. You take her hand, knowing she’ll run ahead if given the chance, you know better than to let her out of her sight.
Dangerous things live in the woods of Honey. 
She’s pulling you along through the short path between the trees leading to the barn with a fence surrounding it. Once you’re in the clearing you let her run ahead, once you’re able to see everything around you. The air is icy and damp as you follow after her, opening the gate as she slips under the fence. The sun is just starting to break through the trees, it’s still too cold for the sheep to be out, there isn’t much exposed grass for them to eat anyway. You’ve been keeping them in the barn most days unless it warms up, today isn’t one of those days. With a high pitched giggle Ellie rushes inside, you hear the familiar sounds of bleating as she greets all of them by name. 
You watch in momentary silence as you make your own way into the barn, enjoying her little smile that warms up the freezing barn. 
“Did you turn in your project yesterday?” You sit on a hay bale, watching her run amongst the sheep before turning to you, nose red from the chill. You hadn’t gotten to ask her about it since you’d been so busy with her party, it wasn’t really a “project.” Just a little assignment for the kids in her class, to draw something important to them. 
Of course Ellie had wanted to draw her father, something you were happy to help with until she held the crayon in her fist and began to draw the sharp angles and pointed claws that you realized she couldn’t show it off to her class. You let her finish the drawing. It’s remarkable really, how someone so small and vulnerable can portray such a frightening creature without fear. 
She loves him, that’s why. 
You love him too but that doesn’t mean he didn’t terrify you. No amount of strange magical connection was going to change the fact that he scared you. The difference of course is that Ellie doesn’t know what he’s done. You had encouraged her to draw a background, concealing the mass of flesh and teeth in darkness and trees until only the two of you knew what hid behind the blue and green. Together you decided that it was a drawing of her favorite place. The national forest on the edge of town. 
“Good, Riley guessed what it was though.” She says as she pats one of the lambs gently on the back. 
“She guessed it was the Manangahela National Forest?” You give her a skeptical smile as she fills a bucket with feed before emptying it into the trough. 
“Monongahela.” She corrects you proudly. 
After all this time, you still never get it right. 
“Smart ass.” You grumble under your breath as she carefully lifts the hose, filling the water buckets. 
“Ass.” She says with a grin. 
“Don’t say that.” You point at her sternly, stifling a laugh. 
With a small huff she turns the hose off and rushes over to sit beside you and watch them. 
“She said the forest was my favorite so it was easy.” She mumbles, briefly captivated by the sheep. 
“She’s a good friend for knowing that.” You like Riley, you’ve watched the two girls play together several times before, she’s a good influence on Ellie as far as you can tell. 
“Mhmm.” She hums, the silence returning between the two of you as you both watch the sheep.
You don’t tell her that you’re going to butcher one of them tonight. 
You know that she can handle it. At this point in her life she can handle much more than any other six year old you’ve ever met but you just aren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. You haven’t been a parent long enough to know the proper way to go about that sort of thing. 
“Time for school, kiddo.” You stand up abruptly and take her hand again, watching as she yells back to the sheep, saying goodbye to each and everyone of them. 
The truck sits idly in the driveway but you ignore it, opening the door of your own car, Ellie throws her backpack in before climbing in herself. It was the first thing you’d bought with Darlene’s money. (The second thing you did was help Sarah with her student loans and put aside some for Ellie.) You hated driving the truck, it was too big and too loud, this just felt safer for driving Ellie around. Once she’s buckled into her seat you make your way over to the driver's side. The radio plays some rock song that immediately has her squealing in the backseat, with a grin you turn it up as you pull out of the driveway. 
“Is she my mom now?” 
You had been walking past Ellie’s room after your shower, wearing one of Joel’s flannels with the towel wrapped around your hair when her voice froze you in place, her bedroom door cracked open. 
“That’s not exactly how that works, kiddo.” His voice has a nervous lilt to it you don’t often hear from him. 
“Then why is she always here?” She sits up a bit and you hold your breath as Joel’s brow furrows. 
“Is that a problem?” God you hope not. 
“No, I like her.” The tension in his face relaxes with your own. 
“I’m glad you do. I like her too.” 
“So when will she become my mom?” Her persistence on the issue makes you feel as awkward as he currently looks. 
“She’ll become your mom if she wants that. But that probably won’t happen until we’re married, and I don’t know if she wants that yet either.” There’s a beat of silence, you’re heart skipping a beat at the earnestness of the conversation. The silence is quickly interrupted by the little one screaming your name as you rush back to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door to try and make it seem like you hadn’t been listening. 
“Yes, little monster?” You make a real show of stepping loudly down the hall as you push the door open. You’re greeted by the sight of Ellie trying to wriggle out of a rather flustered Joel’s arms, face red and flushed as he tries to shove her under her blankets. 
“She’s just messin’ around.” He grumbles before throwing a pillow at the giggling mess. 
Her voice calling your name from the backseat snaps you out of your thoughts. 
“What’s up?” You turn the music down as you glance at her in the rearview mirror. 
“Can Riley come over today after school if her mom says it’s okay?” 
“You’re going to Uncle Tommy’s tonight, love. I’ll text her mom and see if she’s okay with picking her up from there if he gets you guys after school. Does that sound okay?” She nods happily when you look in the mirror before going back to singing along with the radio. When you pull up to the parent drop off you get out of the car to unbuckle her, kneeling down in front of her as she pulls her backpack straps over shoulders. 
“Can we have a birthday party with Dad when he gets back?” She tilts her head to the side as she asks, you lean forward and kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. 
“Absolutely we can.” You give her a soft smile before her attention is diverted towards a group of her friends. “Be good today, I love you.” 
“Love you, bye!” She leans in to give you a kiss on your own cheek before rushing off, you watch her go, waiting until she’s in the building before getting back in the car. You send a quick text to Riley’s mom and Maria, scheduling plans for the girls before putting the car in drive as you head off towards a neighboring town. Honey has a grocery store but on days like this where you have so much free time you like to go to the nicer ones out of town. 
You turn the radio off now that it’s just you, cranking the heat to keep warm as you drive in silence. 
“We should get married.” You had brought the idea up, much to his surprise. About a year ago, as you were setting up for Ellie’s fifth birthday party, a year after you’d finally moved in. 
“Are you serious?” He had been laying on his back, under the camper, working on the more technical aspects of the project. In his shock he’d rolled himself back out to stare at you. 
Why wouldn’t you be? Sure, it took a lot of effort on his part but you finally feel like you’ve stopped holding everything against him. You had hoped that he knew that by now. 
“Why not? Everyone already thinks we are, everyone at Ellie’s school calls her my daughter, Tommy’s been teasing me about it for ages-” He pulls himself to his feet, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders. 
“Bunny, slow down.” He’s getting flustered, you swear his drawl is thicker when he gets like this.
“You’re the one who always says I take things too slow.” You frown, turning back to the flowers you’d been planting in the boxes under the window but he turns you back around to face him.
“You mean it?” His voice is a whisper and you quickly realize how much this means to him.
“Of course, I mean, we’re going to spend our lives together anyway, why wait.” You give him a reassuring smile as you tilt your head to kiss his cheek, briefly letting yourself indulge in the taste of his skin before pulling back. “As much as I’d love to talk about this more, we should get back to work if we want to finish this before she’s home.” 
He doesn’t say anything else about it as he goes back to running the electrical under the camper and you can’t help but wonder if you crossed a line. Thankfully you’re on a time crunch to finish this and your mind is kept busy. 
The two of you work in silence, almost synchronized as you move from task to task. He brings the cinder blocks out and lines the camper, creating a semi-permanent foundation as you string fairy lights along the outside and finish up planting flowers around the entire thing. Joel attaches the small porch he and Tommy made a few weeks ago that you had painted as you step inside. It’s unrecognizable after all the work the two of you put into it. The ceiling now painted a dark blue, glow in the dark paint dotted along the entire thing, when the sun goes down she’ll be able to see the stars from inside the camper. You painted the walls and changed out the curtains and sheets more to Ellie’s tastes. She’d always loved it here, when Joel was actually busy with work trips she’d stay with you in the camper. Even nowadays with you living with her and Joel she still often asks if she can play in the camper. 
Just as you’re finishing up Joel steps inside as well, testing all of the faucets while wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. 
“Think she’ll like it?” You ask, your fingers nervously twitch as you roll the hem of your shirt between them, he laughs as he leans back against the counter. 
“She’s gonna love it, s’better than any gift I’ve ever gotten her.” You can’t help but smile as he holds his arms out towards you, you quickly step into them, leaning against his chest and taking a deep breath. 
You open your mouth to speak, wanting to address your proposition from earlier quickly so it doesn’t hang in the air for too long but you hear the familiar rumble of Tommy’s truck pulling into the driveway and the two of you quickly rush out of the camper and down the steps. You straighten the bow on the door and quickly lock it. You hear Ellie’s laughter as she runs around the side of the house, Tommy and Maria walking up behind her. 
She’s excited to see both of you, a paper crown announcing her birthday adorns her head as she runs up to hug her father. The second she sees the camper though she darts right past him. 
“Why’s this here?” She yells excitedly, she knows exactly why it’s here instead of sitting stagnant on the piece of property you sold just a few days ago. You smile at Joel, nodding towards her as he leans down to pick her up. 
“She got you a little birthday present, since you’ve been so nice to her and let her come live with us.” He points at you as she immediately starts squirming out of his grasp, tossing her backpack aside as she runs up the little porch steps. She turns around to look at you with a huge smile on her face.
“Are you fucking serious?” She screams. You can’t help it as a laugh slips out of you, thankfully Tommy can’t hold it together either as Joel immediately breaks into a lecture you nudge his shoulder as you hand her the key.
“It’s her birthday, she’s allowed to say it on her birthday.” You murmur through your continued laughter. She wraps her arms around your legs, hugging you tightly before turning around and unlocking the door. “Happy birthday, Ellie.” 
She had loved her party, thankfully. And she loved her new playhouse much to your relief. 
You and Joel laid on opposite sides of her as her little snores filled the camper, she had wanted a campout as a birthday treat and you were both more than willing to oblige. You’re staring up at the faintly glowing stars painted on the ceiling when he sets the box down next to you. You grab it, wanting to ask him more but not wanting to wake Ellie up you open it. 
And you’re met with a ridiculously gorgeous ring. 
Clearly an heirloom but he’s recently had it polished, one large diamond framed by two smaller ones on either side of it. Your eyes are wide as you stare down at it, shimmering in the moon light before sharply turning your head to the man with a dopey smile lying across from you.
“Been carrying that around for a while now, if I’d known you were ready I would’a asked sooner.” His voice is low as Ellie stirs a bit and you both freeze as she rolls over closer to her father. 
Neither one of you speaks again, but the look on your face as you put the ring on was answer enough. 
The beeping brings you back to reality as you scan every item in the self checkout lane. 
You’re only feeding yourself while Ellie’s with Maria and Tommy, so you keep it simple. Another box of cereal, milk, an apple, a loaf of bread and deli meats. You’re pretty sure you have enough cheese and other essentials to get you through the rest of the weekend. On your way up to the checkout counter you grab a bag of dark roast coffee beans and a box of tampons. 
You’re out of both. 
You know you live in memories too often, especially without Joel to keep you in reality. You find him in the past when he isn’t beside you because something needs to fill the aching void that yearns for his smell, his taste, and his touch. And echoes of Joel are almost as good as the real thing. There’s a funny comfort you find in memories. Even unhappy ones. There’s no surprises in memories, you know what’s going to happen and you know you survived it.
Even the bad memories bring you comfort when he isn’t around to do it himself. 
You pay quickly, loading everything into the cooler in the car as you head off in the direction of your mechanic. When you park you’re told it’ll take about fifteen minutes, nodding as you sit in the waiting room, where your mind inevitably wanders to one of the worst memories in the hours following your meeting in the Applebees that has since closed. 
You didn’t pay attention to the road. 
Instead you stared at your hands in your lap as he drove, not bothering with the radio, the two of you stewing in your silence as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had come around the truck and done that for you, pulling you into his arms and carrying you bridal style up the porch steps and into the house, only stopping to kick the door shut before bringing you to his room, clicking on the lamp he hadn’t bothered to remove, and setting you on the mattress. 
He lays down beside you, taking your face in his hands but you immediately recoil, pushing him away. 
“What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To show you I’m sorry? Cause I don’t see a point to any of this if it’s never going to happen, it’ll be better for both of us if we know where we stand.” He’s right, unfortunately. Neither one of you deserves to waste the other's time if this is going to mean nothing. 
If you can’t forgive him.
“Can you at least let me love you? Do you think you can manage that?” His voice is dangerously close to cracking and you have to pray that he doesn’t break. If he can’t hold it together you know you won’t be able to either. “Neither one of us wants to deal with this but we don’t have a choice.” 
“I don’t know.” You mumble, you really don’t know so why answer with anything else? 
“I don’t even need a concrete answer, bunny. I just need to know if someday you’re going to be able to forgive me. I can’t live a life where you keep me at arms length.” 
You hadn’t responded. Just slid closer to him. 
And you let him hold you until you fell asleep, hoping that would be enough. 
Your phone buzzing is what snaps you out of your empty thoughts this time. When you open the notification you’re met with a message from Maria, a photo of Tommy sleeping in the recliner, Ellie sitting in his lap, and Riley sitting on the arm of the chair, watching whatever movie they put on the T.V. 
[ Made it back from school. Watching Treasure Planet. ] 
[ love it ] [ thanks again for taking them ] 
The mechanic returns shortly after, handing you your keys and telling you you’re good to go. The hour drive back isn’t terrible, you opt to listen to music on the way back. It’s quiet when you return home. Putting away the groceries and making yourself a sandwich as you look around the cluttering remnants of the party yesterday, the only sounds are your chewing and the soft creaking and scratching from under the floorboards.
Joel has so much pride for your home. He would hate it if he knew how dirty it was currently, the thought alone has you reaching for an empty trash bag once you’re finished eating. 
You turn all the lights on as the sun starts to set, how much time did you spend daydreaming today? You try not to think too hard about it as you start cleaning up the plastic cups and paper plates that litter every surface of the living room, popping deflating balloons and sweeping up discarded streamers and confetti. There’s a feeling of solace that comes with cleaning the house, making it feel like home once more. 
This isn’t just Joel’s house now, it’s yours as well, even if you thought this would never be the case. 
“I know that you shot down the idea last time but I want to show you something.”
“Joel, I just don’t think…” Your voice trails off as you stare at the key ring he’s holding out towards you. If you can’t guarantee that he won’t hurt people you can’t share a home with him, it’s stupid and it makes you feel childish but you can’t come home to him knowing people are still dying, even if you can’t stay away from him. 
“Just give me a chance to show you.” He puts the keys back into his pocket before taking your hand. Walking you down the hall towards his room, he stops briefly to check in on Ellie, still tucked into her own bed as you peer into her room before he closes her door quietly. “I don’t want you to think that a life with me is going to be only horrors, and I know that a part of you has already resigned yourself to such a thing but you don’t deserve that.” You’re about to interrupt him, tell him that’s not true despite the ache in your chest that tells you he’s right but he’s opening his own bedroom door and you’re too busy staring slack jawed inside. 
It’s unrecognizable from the monster cage he’d created for himself. 
Instead of resting bare and on the floor, the mattress has sheets and now rests on a low to the ground metal frame. The photos that were once taped to the wall are now in frames or pinned to a bulletin board he hung up. 
He put a rug down that covers any claw marks on the floor and he’s done his best to hang up photos and paintings over the scratches on the walls. There’s even furniture now, a nightstand on either side of the bed with a matching dresser, lamps scattered around the room make the space feel warm and lived in. 
“You- you did all this?”
“If you live with me I don’t want you to have to sleep in some sort of creepy homemade dungeon, you deserve an actual bedroom.” He whispers as you look at the paintings on the wall, all of them are Alice in Wonderland themed. “I borrowed those from Sarah’s room, we can change them out when- if you move in.” He quickly mumbles as you look up at a painting of Alice staring into a lake, her own image being reflected back up at her. 
“It’s lovely, it’s perfect Joel.” You turn back to him as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. 
“This ain’t it, there's a few more surprises for you.” The shocked look remains on your face as he takes your hand once more, bringing you back into the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. 
You had run outside without shoes on and took down the banner hanging on the camper before rushing back in and tossing it in the trash bag. When you look at the clock it’s just a couple minutes from 7:00 p.m. You bring the bag out to the porch before washing your hands. 
You don’t bother taking a shower as you change into your pajamas, setting your ring on your nightstand, not wanting to risk damaging it as you pull up a pair of sweats you don’t care about being ruined and an old shirt you wore when you painted the bathroom a month ago. Grabbing the apple off the counter you shove it into your sweatpants pocket. Shooting Maria one last text and turning your phone on do not disturb, you tell her to say goodnight to Ellie for you before slipping your sneakers on and heading out the back door once more. 
You don’t like going to the barn alone, and you should have put on a proper jacket, without the sun to warm you, your skin prickles with goosebumps. The dark doesn’t frighten you very much anymore, and it’s easy to follow the familiar path even in the dark. Your phone flashlight illuminates the ground in front of you as you walk, you’re trying to remember if there is a specific sheep Ellie isn’t attached to.
Most of the flock is sleeping save for a few stragglers, you decide not to overthink it, grabbing a lead and putting it over the head of the first sheep that’s brave enough to greet you. The unlucky winner is one of the older sheep, making its way over to you the second you open the gate. You reward her bravery with the apple in your pocket, the only sounds in the quiet night are those of chewing as you walk her back towards the house. 
You swung your intertwined hands between the two of you as you walked through the trees behind his house. He must have worked startlingly fast to do that for you, no ones ever put in that sort of effort for you before. 
The sun is just starting to set behind you as he takes a step back and covers your eyes.
“Hey-” You start to object with a giggle as he continues walking you forward. 
“Oh hush, let this be a surprise.” He chuckles as he leads you further down the path before stopping abruptly and lifting his hands. “Surprise.” He whispers, taking a step back.
“Woah.” You exhale in shock as you stare at the barn in front of you. A white fence surrounding it. 
It’s beautiful. 
“Tommy and I grew up on a farm, we can raise whatever you want, pigs, sheep, chickens, anything you want.” He mumbles as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. 
“I love that idea, but can I ask why?” You let out a nervous laugh as you turn to raise an eyebrow at him.
“That’s actually a part of your last surprise.” 
“Another?” Your voice pitches up, he built you a fucking barn, what else could he have done for you?
“I want you to know how serious I am about you moving in, I don’t want you to have any doubt.” He mumbles against your temple, inhaling deeply before pulling away and taking your hand one more time. “Come on.” He pulls you back towards the house as the sun sets for good, you walk in the darkness until he brings you to the basement entrance and pulls out the keys he’d offered you. 
Several locks adorn the basement entrance, you sift through your key ring until you find each lock's respective key, letting them drop into the grass as you remove each one. When you swing the heavy metal doors open you’re met with the welcoming warmth that comes from below. Several lamps and space heaters create a warm glow that beckons you down the steps. Almost immediately the sheep pulls away, bleating fearfully. Animals are far more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for, they know when something is wrong. 
You pull her down with you then reach up and let the doors slam down, sealing the poor thing in its tomb with you. 
You drop the lead once the doors are closed, there’s no point in leading the lamb any closer to the inevitable slaughter. 
“I have loved you since I first saw you in that bar. I have loved you every moment since, you could be cruel and terrible and I’d love you still and I’d probably deserve it. But you aren’t. You’re smart, and you care about everything, and you love everyone even if they aren’t worthy of it.” His hands caress your face as he whispers into the night air. “And you feel so much guilt for the things I do even though you shouldn’t. You can forgive me for all that I’ve done but it won’t change the fact that I’m still doing terrible things. I’ve done terrible things for so long that I didn’t really consider any other options, but you deserve other options.” 
He pulls open the basement doors once all the locks are undone, and offers his hand to you. 
“I want to show you that I can change, that I would do anything you need me to do, be anything you need me to be.” 
It’s your choice, take it or leave, he won’t hold it against you if you crack and can’t handle it anymore. But you need him to keep yourself together in the first place so you take his calloused hand in yours and let him lead you down into the darkness. 
The smell of vanilla and pine is dense down here. 
As you descend further down the steps you see the familiar set up, a few lamps and lanterns are scattered throughout the darkness as well as a couple space heaters that are only there for your benefit. A mattress you insist on putting sheets on is pushed against one of the scratched up walls, the blankets and pillows scattered about the space, you walk over to the mess, picking up the scattered quilts as you throw everything back down on the mattress. You can feel the movement behind you, the scratching against the cement as you lay down, even with the heaters it’s cold. Thankfully you know you’ll be warm enough soon.
The panicked baa’s of the sheep are swiftly silenced, replaced with the wet tearing sound that once would have filled you with dread. It’s a bit morbid how comforting you now find them, you roll over as you pull another blanket up over yourself, watching the iron chains drag across the floor as the unseen figure pulls them in different directions. 
You can see movement dancing on the edges of the lamp light, the smell of blood is almost as prominent now as the suffocating sweetness. A smile begins to tease the corners of your mouth as you hear him moving closer, the familiar, gravely voice that calls out from the dark recesses of the basement fills your ears like warm honey. 
“C’mere, bunny.”
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a/n : that's a wrap on oh honey folks, once again im sorry i made yall wait so long, i hope it was worth it &lt;3
i no longer have a tag list but for fic updates follow @lincolndjarinnotifs !!
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goldenlikedayl1ght · 7 months
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timeless - j. kiszka
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a/n: this one is super long and holy shit i'm pretty proud of it :) my other song choice for this was wii sports resort theme song. warnings: cursing, past infidelity, some angst, stupid choices, allusions to sex, lots of wedding talk, readers family all being chill, reader being feminine (no real descriptions though) but they wear a wedding dress and are 'mrs', uh, petnames, josh being flirty. my qualifications for writing this is that my dad got married on a cruise but it will be inaccurate, whoops. word count: 10.2k words summary: you decide to be kind after being cheated on. it spirals out of control, thanks to josh kiszka. pairing: josh kiszka x reader now playing: timeless (taylor's version) (from the vault) - taylor swift "and sometimes there's no proof, you just know/you're always gonna be mine/we're gonna be/i'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray"
You book the cruise about six months before you break up with him.
Your whole family is going, you tell him, and it’ll be about five years since you got together when you go, it’ll be romantic!
When he proposes to you two months later, you decide to get married on the cruise. You’ll have the ceremony with your closest family, and then friends will be able to celebrate with you two when you get back, you’ll throw parties!
You catch him cheating on you about six months before you leave for the cruise.
At that point, you had already reached out to plan the wedding with the cruise line, you have your wedding outfit, you won’t be getting your deposit back. He will not be going, he says, because what sadist would go with your ex-fiancé’s family to the Bahamas for two weeks after they find out about your infidelity?
Your sister convinces you to go, telling you that your parents can renew their vows and you don’t even have to go.
You can get over the last of your feelings towards your ex while sipping a pina colada on a beach somewhere.
And this, dear reader, is the story of how you meet your husband on that cruise.
• • •
Day One:
Okay, so you don’t mean for him to be your husband, really. It goes something like this:
Your sister picks you up and you climb into this car with your parents, your sister, your nephew and your brother and his wife.
As your brother and his wife canoodle, still in their honeymoon phase, you make sure your nephew doesn’t spill his juice, and you ask yourself, is this it? Are you meant to have random sex and live a life of freedom yet loneliness and eventually leave everything to your nephew when you croak?
Maybe it isn’t that dramatic, but you still feel shitty!
 You’re waiting at the port, sitting by the help service desk as you wait to board the ship. You’re entirely too occupied trying to fend off thoughts of your ex, yet you hear something that just catches your ears just right.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kiszka, I can offer you a voucher for your next trip with us, but unless a stranger here offers you their ticket, I’m afraid you’re not going on this cruise. We’re all booked up.”
The man the employee is talking to looks like he just came from a trip to the Bahamas, with this wild curly hair and sandals on. He has these, almost goofy, sunglasses on. He stands with a few other people, one who looks just like him with straight hair.
His body language seems angry, but he’s handsome. And you feel it.
You feel an attraction that you haven’t felt since your ex.
And then you remember your ex, and the ticket in your bag that was abandoned by him, and you realize that someone can give this man their ticket.
You realize you can help this angry, handsome man.
You glance at your sister.
“I’m going to do something sort of crazy, and I need you to support me no matter what. Can you do that?” She smiles.
“Always and forever.”
You get up and grab the ticket from your bag, heading over to the counter where the man stands with the employee.
“And I’m telling you,” The man says, and you almost swoon at the stranger’s voice, “These are my credit card bills! My payment for this trip is right here, there has to be something you can do—”
“Excuse me?” Heads turn towards you, and the employee sighs.
“I’ll be with you in just a few minutes—”
“Oh, no, I—” You sigh, and hand the employee your ex-fiancé’s ticket. “This guest won’t be joining us on the trip, and since I paid for his trip, I’d like to give his ticket to the gentleman here.”
Translation: This guest was a lying piece of shit who broke my heart and was supposed to marry me on this trip, and since I footed the damn bill for aforementioned piece of shit, I’d like for the handsome stranger here to stay in my room.
The stranger looks at you like you just saved his life. Your heart swells.
You all look back to the employee, who looks exhausted.
“We can do that,” They scan the ticket, and start reading your ex-finance’s information. “Okay, so, Joshua Kiszka is going to be the name on the room and the ticket,” she starts, “He’ll have to stay in your room, is that okay?” They glance at you. You turn to Joshua.
“Are you an axe murderer or a creep?”
“Not that I know of.” He answers. You smile.
“That’s totally okay.”
“Alright,” The employee glances at their computer again, typing some stuff. “So, there’s two other things. Number one, there’s the romantic dinner for two this Saturday. Is he going to that?”
“Yes,” You answer, not thinking about it. You smile at the stranger, and he smiles back.
“And the wedding.” The stranger’s smile drops. Yeah, that was understandable.
Your hand lands on his arm, and you become vulnerable.
“Just, go with it for a while, okay? We’re not getting married on this trip, I promise.” You smile, and this seems to reassure Joshua, who turns back to the employee.
“We’re a couple of soon to be newlyweds, baby.” He smirked.
The Employee seems less sure. But they scan the ticket and type a few more things into their computer before handing the ticket to Josh.
“All set. I’d recommend boarding together to get your keycards and everything sorted out. Please step to the side so I can help the next guests.”
You oblige, and suddenly it hits you. You’re a stranger standing in front of a family after you just saved their vacation. You just invited a stranger to stay with you. Joshua looks at you.
“Well, that was a crazy way to ask me on a date.” He tells you, and you laugh.
“Did it work?”
“Absolutely, this vacation would’ve been ruined without you!” He grinned. “I’m Josh.”
You give him your name, and you can just see the relief on his face. He introduces you to his family, and you meet his brothers, Jake, Sam, and Danny, as well as his sister and parents. They’re all lovely.  They begin to call boarding numbers, and Josh takes his backpack from his twin.
“I’m gonna go with them to figure this whole thing out, we’ll meet for lunch later?” They all agree, and Jake mentions how nice it was to meet you, and you head back to your family to board.
Your family looks extremely confused.
“Everyone, this is Josh—There was a problem with his ticket, and I figured since we had an extra, we can hangout with Josh for the trip.” Your sister laughs, and your nephew copies her giggles.
“Don’t worry, we’re not going to do anything wild together, I’m just so grateful that I’m actually going on this trip.” He said honestly. Then he turns to you. “So, what’s this about a wedding?” You laugh, and link your arm with his, a bit of a bold move on your part, but you’re feeling bold. For the first time in months, you want someone, and it’s making you feel bold.
Mostly, for the boarding process, you stand in pairs. You and Josh, your parents, your brother and sister-in-law, and your sister and nephew. You’re waiting in line when you start to explain.
“So, the wedding was originally supposed to be mine, yes. But, the groom turned out to be, uh..” You try to put it nicely, “Not the one.” Is the best thing you settle on, “So we’re going to use it as a way to have my parents renew their vows, or something.” You explain. Josh nods,
“But you realize that we’ll be regarded as the happy couple the entire time we’re on board, right?” You laugh at this idea of this dude you barely know being in love with you and marrying you.
“Josh, you don’t strike me as the type to shy away from the spotlight.” It’s just something about him that gives you the impression that when he walks into the room, he is the center of everyone’s attention. But he just laughs, almost a tad shy.
“Fine, then I’m making up a wild story about our meeting.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, you remember it, right? When you invited me to be a guest at a wedding for a man you were in love with but fell in love with me through out the night?”
“Why does it always have to be about weddings with you, Josh?”
“You know me, I’m a romantic.” You roll your eyes at this, and you hand your boarding passes to the person at the podium, who scans them, and then glances to you.
“Enjoy your stay on the Princess of the Ocean!” The ship name almost makes you laugh, “And congratulations to you both! We hope your wedding and honeymoon is all you want and more!” You realize they must have your name on file, or something comes up when they scan your passes.
You don’t get a chance to respond, because Josh’s arm is around your waist, and he says,
“Everyone’s been lovely so far, thank you. We’re having a great time already, right, Doll?” Your face flushes.
“It’s a dream, honey.” You respond and kiss his cheek. The employee wishes you a great trip, and you head off to the ship.
“I guess we’re going to have to get used to that, huh?” You don’t move from his arm around you.
“I guess so, honey.” You tell him.
You make your way onto the ship, wondering if this could be different. When you get to your cabin, it’s decorated with wedding stuff, and it makes you and Josh both laugh with red faces. On the bed, are towels in the shape of swans, who make a heart with their necks.
Josh tells you they look just like the two of you, and you can’t help but get this feeling that it’ll be impossible to stay away from him while on this ship, no matter how big it is.
• • •
Day Three:
But then you don’t see much of Josh for the second day of your cruise, finding your day full of drinking and running around with your nephew, who you can’t help but indulge in all the kid stuff. You take him on the slides, in the pools, to bumper cars. You get him a Shirley Temple when he gives you puppy dog eyes.
But during your second day at sea, you sort of want to see Josh. He’s out of the room before you even wake up, even though he got back to the cabin after you went to sleep last night. You miss your fake husband.
So, when you see him by a bar around noon, you approach him.
“You look familiar,” you start, “Do I know you?” You ask, a playful smile on your face. He laughs.
“Could be, we’re getting married next week.” You giggle and ask the bartender for a tropical, fruity, alcoholic drink. Josh asks him to make it two. “I want to say thank you again, for letting me take your douchebags ticket.” You smile at his hatred towards an ex he’s never met.
“Don’t worry about it. Why’d you decide to come on this cruise in the first place?” You ask curiously.
“Well, we got back from tour about a month ago, and we knew we’d be wanting to take a vacation that doesn’t involve preforming anywhere.” This leaves you with more questions then answers, and he sees it on your face, “We play in a band, my brothers and I. We scheduled a tour for this year and wanted to reward ourselves with some relaxation.” Huh. “How about you?”
“Well, my parents wanted me to go with them to celebrate their retirement. Then, it was to get married because that worked out so well.” You know you sound bitter about it. It’s because you are.
“Well, I like your new husband more anyways.” He tells you. It makes you laugh.
“We’re are you from?”
“Michigan, originally. I live in Nashville, now.”
“For music purposes, right?”
“Right.” He takes a sip of his drink, “And you?”
“Atlanta, Georgia.” You told him. “But I don’t know, that cities way too small when you have someone living there that you thought you’d marry.” You confess. “What type of music do you play?”
“Oh, we’ll play anything, but we’re known for our rock and roll.” He smiles.
“Well, what do you like to play?”
“I really love all of it, but my true passion is film. I sing. I’m partial to singing jazz.” He explains.
“Huh..”
“And what about you? What do you do for work?”
“Nothing as cool as singing for a rock and roll band.” You admit. “I’m a teacher. I’ve taught a lot of groups, but my favorite is high schoolers, honestly. I teach English.”
“Oh, an Academic?” You laugh.
“Shut up, film boy.” He fakes a hurt gasp, placing his hand on his chest.
“I’m hurt, Doll. I don’t know if I want to marry you anymore.”
“That’s a shame. We already put the deposit down, I’m not getting my money back.” He laughs with you this time.
You talk a while more, and before you know it, your stomach is rumbling for lunch. He walks you to the popular lunch spot on board and decides to join you for lunch.
You both wind up taking bites from each other’s plates.
“Do you like grapefruit, Doll?”
“God no, I was sick once, so my mom gave me one, supposed to be very good for you,” You pause, “I threw up while eating it and haven’t eaten a grapefruit since.”
“Aw, that’s a shame, it wasn’t the grapefruit’s fault!”
“Yeah, but now I associate the grapefruit with throwing up.” You told him.
“I’m sure the grapefruit longs for your forgiveness, Doll.”
“Shut up, Honey.”
• • •
Day Five:
You wind up spending all of day three with Josh, but you don’t see him much on day four—It’s your first day at the beach you’re docked at, so you both want to spend it with your family.
You learned a lot about him on day three—His favorite foods, his favorite movies, music, stories of him and his brothers on tour, growing up. He learns that you went to school in Florida before moving to Georgia, and that you have a scar on your stomach from getting your appendix removed when you were nine.
Learning about each other makes you yearn for him.
The fifth day, though, he’s still in the room when you get up. He grins at you when you wake up, coming out of the bathroom amid brushing his teeth. His hair is wet from a shower, and you sit up, deciding you desperately need a shower.
“Morning, Pumpkin.” He grins as you grab clothes for the day from your bag.
“Morning, sunshine.” You grumble.
“Do you want to go to the beach with me today?” He asks.
You grin and nod, “Sure. Sounds cool. Just let me shower.”
When you finally head off the ship to the beach, Josh has decided he needs to hold your hand. It’s a requirement, he decides.
“We’re betrothed, after all!” He defends.
It makes you laugh, but you’re happy to hold his hand. The sun beats down on you, but there’s this warmth that feels good. You’re unsure if it’s from the sun or from Josh, but you don’t ask. You just walk with him.  
There’s something that’s just easier with Josh around, something that requires no thinking. You can’t really put your finger on it, but you love being around him.
You pass this private beach that you must pay to get into. Josh, in his infinite wisdom, decides the two of you can have fun with this.
“Do you trust me?” He asks, as he takes your hand and drags you off to a shop with a sign that says, ‘locally made jewelry’ in it’s window.
You’re suspicious, but you would follow him to the end of the earth.
“Absolutely not.” You respond, but make no effort to stop him from walking you to the store. He looks around for a second before pulling you over to the ring section.
“Pick out something nice, we might as well milk the whole marriage thing.” You wind up choosing a delicate looking ring that has gold flower decals and a small black diamond in the middle, which you’re pretty sure isn’t real.
You ask the employee to try it on, and it fits like a glove.
Josh can’t take his eyes off you with this ring he’s about to buy for you.
“We’ll take it.” He says to the employee, handing him his card before you can object, and you look to him.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“We’re getting married, of course I did.” He jokes, but then he becomes more serious for a moment. “Plus, I told you, I owe you a million times because I wouldn’t be here without you.” He says softly.
You lean forward and kiss his cheek.
“It was my pleasure.” You say softly. The employee is done ringing you up, and he looks like he’s on the verge of tears.
“I just want to say how happy I am for you two. You’re a beautiful couple.” He hands you the ring and you slip it onto your ring finger.
“Thank you.” You tell him, smiling, and admiring your new engagement ring. Josh wishes him a good day and takes your hand to head back to the beach, where the person letting people in stops you and Josh, telling you the cost to get into the beach. Josh goes for his wallet before smoothly throwing in,
“Thanks for this, it’s such a nice place to spend our time before the wedding. One last quiet moment before the chaos leading up to it.”
“Oh, when are you getting married?” She asks.
“Next Thursday.” You smile. “We’re getting married on the cruise ship over there.” You point, and she shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about the admission fee, I remember how chaotic it was to get married in a familiar place, let alone on a boat.” She chuckles softly and lets you pass.
“Thank you so much!” You say gratefully, never letting go of Josh’s hand. He smiles to you.
“You’re a natural.” He says, as soon as you’re far away from the employee.
“Are you kidding? I’m literally shaking, I keep thinking someone’s gonna call our bluff on the whole wedding thing! I don’t know how you’re managing it.” You tell him honestly.
“I think you’re doing great.” He tells you. “Besides, we’re technically not lying! You were supposed to get married next Thursday on the ship, it just wasn’t supposed to be with me and it’s now for your parents.” He reminds. This is true, you suppose. Plus, with Josh, it’s so easy for you to lie and say he’s in love with you or that he’s the love of your life.
The beach is beautiful—It’s clean and quiet, and you both lay in beach chairs that have been laid out for two.
You’re just laying there for a while, but eventually you turn your head to admire him for a while. He wears a short-sleeved button up, that’s this light blue color. It’s opened, exposing his torso. He has on swim trunks too, and his sandals are discarded on the sand. He also wears this pretty necklace that matches his sunglasses.
“I can feel you looking at me.” He says softly, not turning his hand. Your face flushes and you turn your head back and close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun on your skin.
“Sorry. You’re just really gorgeous.” You confess. He smiles.
“Doll, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had a crush on me.”
“You’re the one that bought me a ring, Honey.”
“Touche.” Your conversation is cut short when someone approaches you with two pina coladas from the bar. On the house for the happy couple, he says.
After a quick conversation with him, you find out he runs this tropical paradise, and that he’s celebrating twenty years with the woman who waived your admission fee. They got married on this very beach; he tells you. You thank him profusely and when he leaves, you and Josh raise your glasses to each other in celebration for your faux marriage.
“Bajabule.” He hums, taking a sip of his drink.
You think you can get used to being engaged to Josh Kiszka.
• • •
Day Seven:
For those of us in the crowd who have never been on a cruise, there’s always a day on board where you have to dress fancy and nice, and the captain makes this speech, it’s called the captain’s dinner.
When you got engaged to your fiancé, you decided that on this captain’s dinner night, you would book a private, romantic dinner to have a moment of peace before the wedding.
And, like everything else regarding your ex and the wedding, it was nonrefundable, and you were planning on either doing it on your own or giving it to someone else who could enjoy it.
Then, you met Josh. And you had a reason to go.
So, you ask Josh that morning to come with you to this dinner before you leave for breakfast.
“Like a date?” He asks. You smile. Except for swimming and showering, you haven’t taken off your ring.
“Exactly like a date. Be my date tonight, Honey.”
He puts his hand on your cheek.
“Anything for you, Doll.”
So, you spend the whole day excited for your date. You have breakfast with your parents, and then spend the afternoon with your sister and brother, while your sister-in-law takes your nephew and parents to the beach.
You tell them about Josh, and they share this look, you’re not sure what it means, you’re too busy admiring your ring and gushing about how funny and handsome he is.
Your sister sits on your bed, all dressed with her son on her lap as you get ready. You’re nervous and you’re not sure why. Josh gets ready with his brothers.
“You look great,” Your sister assures.
“I just don’t know why I’m so nervous!”
“Maybe because this is your first first date in six years?” That could be it.
“But it’s not with just any random guy, it’s Josh. He’s so casual and cool about everything.”
“Is that supposed to make you feel better?” You see her point.
You sigh and take one last look in the mirror, before slipping on your ring. You turn to your sister.
“How do I look?” Your hair and makeup is nice, and your outfit looks really good on you.
“You look amazing. If he doesn’t like the way you look tonight, he’s not worth it.” You want him to be worth it. You want it desperately; in a way you never knew you could want.
“Thanks.” You smile, nervously. You hear a knock on the door and open it to see him standing there. He wears a white button up with the top two buttons undone, as well as black pants. He’s so good looking it almost kills you.
“Hi.” He grins. “You look amazing.”
“You look amazing.” You respond. You lean forward and kiss his cheek, and he peeks into the room to see your sister and nephew. He greets them and smiles, before taking your hand in his.
“Ready to go?” You nod and tell your sister to give everyone at dinner your love before you head out for your date. Dinner is at this candlelit restaurant, where you and Josh sit at a private table behind this beaded curtain.
“This place is so nice..” You tell him. “I don’t know If I’ve ever been on a first date this fancy.” You confess. He smiles.
“Me neither. It’s beautiful here.” He takes your hand that rests on the table. Your waitress comes in with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket, introducing herself as Anna, and telling you about the menu for tonight.
“The chef has chosen five courses for our patrons tonight. It isn’t the same as last night’s dishes nor will it be the same as tomorrow’s. It’s preselected, so if there’s any allergies, just let me know. Now, I understand that we’re celebrating a special occasion tonight.” She hums as she pours the two of you champagne.
You look to Josh and wait for him to make up some story about wanting peace and quiet before you get married. Instead, he looks to Anna and says,
“First date. I think this one might just stick, too.”
“First date on a cruise ship? My, what a fairytale.” She smiles. “Well, we hope to give you a night to remember and a start to something wonderful.” She tells you both. “I’ll be back with your first course, soon. Enjoy the champagne, my friends.” She leaves, and you look to Josh.
“Why didn’t you tell her we’re supposed to be engaged?”
“I don’t think she’s the type to tell on us. Besides, this is real. I meant what I said, I want you to stick around...”
“I want you to stick around too.” You confess. You make conversation, getting to know each other through dinner. It’s all delicious, really. Over dessert, you decide that you can’t take it anymore. “I’m having a great time.”
“Me too.”
“I wouldn’t have asked anyone else to go on this date with me.” You confess.
“I would hope not.” He smiled.
“No, Josh, I’m being serious. It has shocked me to my core, but I’m finding myself wanting you more and more.” You tell him, your eyes meet his. “I think one of the best decisions I ever made was giving you that ticket.”
He says your name softly, and when he’s not saying anything like this back to you, you feel tears in your eyes. Is it possible that this man you’ve found yourself falling for has been playing pretend the whole time, the way you were meant to be as well?
“I’m sorry...” You say shakily. “I thought that... That maybe you’d feel the same way about me, but I was- “He squeezes your hand softly.
“Stop. I do want you… I want you so badly it’s destroying me to not have you.” He tells you. Your face flushes. “I’ve wanted you ever since I saw you, and I’ve been thanking whatever force that exists in the universe for meeting you.” He confesses.
Before you can respond, Anna comes back, asking if you want anything else, more champagne, perhaps?
“Can you have someone send it to our room in about two hours?” Josh asks. Anna, who must get that request often, thinks nothing of it.
“Of course. Enjoy the rest of your night, young lovers.” She leaves, and Josh leaves her a generous cash tip, before standing up and grabbing your hand again.
“Come on.” He tells you, and you follow him, curious as to what he has planned. There’s something in his eyes, a spark he gets when he has an idea. You follow him out of the restaurant, your hand locked into his, as you lean your head on his shoulder. He walks with you, all the way up to the top deck of the ship, where it’s quiet and the stars are plentiful. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the way you’re looking at him. But Josh leans forward and kisses you, and it’s full of a gentleness you haven’t felt in years.
Your hands land on his jaw, as you deepen the kiss slightly, the night air and the passion you feel sends a shiver down your spine, only amplified by Josh’s hands on your hips.
He pulls away for a moment, looking to you.
“Let me take you back to our room.” He says softly.
“To do what?” You ask in a teasing voice. He groans and kisses you again before pulling away to add,
“So, I can make you feel good, Doll. So, I can watch you in pleasure underneath me.” He tells you. His voice is low, and there’s a lust you haven’t heard before.
“Okay.” You tell him.
“Okay?”
“Yes. Yes, Josh, please take me back to the room and fuck me.”
“As you wish, Doll.”
And he does exactly that.
• • •
Day Eight:
Your entire body aches when you wake up, tangled in sheets and in Josh’s arms. You feel amazing. Your eyes flutter open to see him admiring you, and you bury your face in the pillow as you groan. He laughs, his hand gently tracing patterns into your shoulder blade.
“Good morning, Pumpkin.” He says gently, kissing your ear.
“Good morning, Sunshine.” You tell him, before finally picking your head up to look at him. “Josh, I think you’re something equivalent to a sex god.” You say honestly. He laughs.
“Thank you, Baby.” He hums. “Wanna order room service?” He asks.
“Nah... I want you to do that thing you did last night, the one that made me scream.” You reply, and he has this smirk on his lips that makes you want him desperately.
“As you wish.”
You don’t get out of bed until lunch time, and even then, he joins you in the shower.
• • •
Day Nine:
Jake has to beg his brother to come up for air and ask you to join them for drinks that night. He’s worried, maybe that you’ll be scared off by the three of them, or maybe you’ll realize you don’t like him as much.
But you’re thrilled to get to know them, and you head down to the bar around six for drinks and dancing.
“Hey guys!” Sam calls over to you when he sees you. Josh still seems nervous, and you don’t really understand it. You both like each other more than you can put into words, so why is he so nervous for you to meet the three men he calls brothers?
Well, because his brothers are assholes.
You slid into the booth next to Jake, and you go to engage him in conversation. Instead, Sammy loudly calls over to the bartender. “Hey! My brothers getting married next week, how about some shots?”
Josh looks like he might die.
“I am so sorry about him—” You laugh, leaning against him as you try to contain your laughs.
“No, No, it’s funny, I’m glad you told them about it.” You turn back to the boys. “How are you guys enjoying the cruise so far?”
“It’s been great!” Danny yells over the music. “The beaches are so nice!”
“Did Josh tell you about the private beach we found?’
“Yeah! He also told me about the two of you conning your way into free drinks and shit!”
“It’s technically not a lie! I was supposed to be married on Thursday, just not to Josh.” You explain, and Sam laughs.
“You know, Josh has been doing nothing but talk about you, but you’re much funnier than he mentioned.” He hums. You glance over to Josh, who just blushes and rolls his eyes.
“You talked about me? What sort of things does he talk about?”
“Let’s not embarrass him, guys.” Jake says a smirk on his face.
“Thank you, Jake—”
“His new beau doesn’t need to know that he’s constantly gushing about ‘em!” The boys all break out in laughter, and you can’t help but giggle a bit. Josh is overly embarrassed.
“Douchebags! All of you are assholes!” He laughed, not really mad at them. He’s just enamored with you, and despite sleeping with you and telling you as much, it’s still a little bit embarrassing. Not that he’s embarrassed of you, but he finds himself falling for you more and more as the days go by. It’s hard to verbalize.
“Aw, Joshy, they’re just having fun, honey.” You hum. Leaning over and kissing his cheek, a habit you’re finding yourself getting more and more used to.
Shots land in front of the five of you, and Sam holds his up.
“To the happy couple!” You all drink your shots, and you think something crazy.
You think maybe you could get used to doing this. Being a part of their group. Being close to him, to them.
Maybe you could do this for the rest of your life.
You blame it on the alcohol, this feeling that this could last forever.
But when you look at Josh, you’re just enamored by him, in a way that’s deeper than just being a fan or just a crush.
And it crosses your mind for a second.
This crazy idea.
You kiss Josh quick, forgetting about the idea, blaming it on the alcohol again.
• • •
Day Ten:
You wake up with this wicked hangover, and to your disdain, Josh is nowhere to be found. You decide to get dressed and grab breakfast, figuring he’ll either text you or find you when he wants to see you.
But every few moments you’re turning as if you want to say something to him.
It’s frustrating because you know how crazy it is that you like him so much.
And it’s scary because you haven’t felt this way in a long time, maybe even a year or two, because with Josh, you realize how much you weren’t in love with your ex-fiancé, and it’s wild because you thought you’d marry him.
But it’s different with Josh, Better, most definitely. That thought from last night comes back, and you can’t blame it on the liquor anymore, and you can’t blame it on Josh looking amazing in bar lighting, and you can’t blame it on how connected you feel to his brothers because they aren’t around.
Your hand drifts to your ring finger, and you play with your ring, thinking about Josh. You wonder what will happen when you get off this ship. You wonder how it would be taking weekly trips to Nashville, especially when the school year starts and you’re busy with grading and lesson plans.
It all seems totally ridiculous. Why bother then?
But you keep coming back to it. This crazy idea, like an itch you just can’t scratch. You want to verbalize it, you want to ask it of Josh, but you realize how damn wild it is.
Maybe he’ll like that.
You’re lost in your thoughts when you feel a hand on the small of your back. You grin.
“You know, Honey, I—” When you turn around, you don’t find Josh. You find some random asshole who is already drunk, because, when in Rome. “Get the fuck off me, Dude.” You move away from him.
“What’s the matter? You seemed into it before—”
“I thought you were someone else.”
“Oh, you got a little boyfriend?”
“Fiancé, actually.”  Like magic, Josh appears behind the stranger. He looks angry. He looks jealous. He looks hot. “Is there a problem here?” he asked, tilting his head. He moves to you and wraps his arm around your waist.
“No problem, man.” The creepy dude backs off, walking off. Josh looks to you and cups his hand to your cheek.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” You say softly, “I’m okay...” You bite your tongue, before adding, “That was sort of hot—”
“I’m sorry?”
“No, not that asshole, you! Being protective of me like that… I’m not used to it.”
“Oh… Well—”
“And you were jealous. So hot.”
“I was not jealous!”
“Honey, you most totally were! It was so so attractive.”
“Why?” He seems genuine.
“Because... C’mon, I have to tell you a story, but we gotta go sit down so I can tell it.” You sigh. You wind up leaving the restaurant and sitting on a beach chair on the top deck. He keeps his hand on your thigh as you relax. Your heart is beating rapidly, and you’re not sure why you’re so anxious, but Josh seems to sense this.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I just hate this story…” You take a deep breath before you begin. “I was with my ex for about five years. He asked me to marry him after we booked this cruise, and I don’t know why I said yes… Maybe I loved him, but I wasn’t… In love with him like everyone describes I should be... But he never did anything romantic for me, no flowers, no sexy things, certainly no jealousy… So, I’m not sure why the cheating on me destroyed me so much, but it did. I haven’t felt anything for anyone since then. Until you.” You told him, and he just has this focused look on his face.
“He sounds horrible.” You laugh, tears falling from your face that you didn’t even realize you had. He wipes them tenderly.
“Yeah...” You say softly, leaning into his touch.
“Wanna hear my sob story now?”
“Sure, Honey.”
“I’m falling in love with someone who I met last week and might never see again after Saturday.”
“Josh...”
“We don’t have to ruin anything with commitment, we don’t…” His breath is shaky, and you catch tears running down his face, too. “I just need you to know that I’m falling in love with you, and I have no intentions of staying away from you or stopping that process.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to. Never.” You tell him earnestly. “I’m falling in love with you too.” You wipe his tears. Even crying, your boy is beautiful.
“Well, then we’ll just hope that the ship sinks before it docks so we can go down in history as the lovers who should’ve made it.” He smiles. It makes you cry harder, offering all this comfort but no happiness. Josh frowns and wraps his arms around you. “I’m sorry for making you cry.”
“It’s okay…” You whisper. “You have this way with words... It makes it hard not to be moved or not to fall deeper in love with you.”
“I thought we agreed no preventing the inevitable like falling in love with each other?” You pull away from the hug and wipe his tears. He kisses yours away.
“Right, well I’m instilling a new rule. Not preventing us from falling in love with each other. No more tears, either Kiszka?” You hold out your pinky. He links your pinkies together and then you both kiss the ends of your hands on instinct, giggling when you realize you both did it without words. It’s like an invisible string that had connected you all this time.
“You got it, Doll.” He says softly, before leaning forward and kissing you gently. You decide not to worry too much about it, realizing that if the universe was smart enough to bring you and Josh together for these two weeks, you’d find your way back to each other again. How could you not?
You were falling in love with each other, after all.
• • •
Day Eleven:
You wake up the next day to your favorite sight. Josh tangled in the sheets with you, but for once he’s still asleep. You love it. You wound up spending the day with him and then going to dinner with your family, the night full of laughs, because Josh is just so God damn charming.
He’s so pretty.
You grab your phone from your dresser and then take a photo of him, all sleepy and shining under the sunlight.
His eyes flutter open after a few minutes of you admiring him.
“Well, good morning, Pumpkin.” He says in this low morning voice. Your fingers play with his hair,
“Good morning, sunshine.” You grin, leaning down and kissing his head. He turns to you and smiles.
“What do you have planned for today?” At this question, you groan. Fuck, you forgot everything you have to do today.
“I have a meeting with a notary, who doubles as the cruise line’s wedding coordinator, that I was supposed to go to with my ex…” You sigh. “But now I gotta go and tell them that no, I am not getting married, and that the ceremony is going to be a renewal of vows for my parents.” You sigh and rub your eyes. Josh looks at you, and he has that idea spark in his eyes. You see it, and he knows you see it. “What? What is it?” You ask.
For a moment, you wonder if he has the same idea that you’ve had for the past few days. But that’s crazy, why would he possibly think that you two should go through with it, that you two should get married?
“What if we went through with it? Getting married, I mean?”
Well, I’ll be damned. He did have that thought.
“Josh—” You grin, and he shakes his head, burying his face in his pillow.
“Never mind, that’s dumb, I’m sorry…” He sighs. “We just met, it’s a completely crazy idea, I just can’t get it out of my head, and—”
“Let’s do it.”
“What?”
“Let’s get married.”  What the fuck are you talking about? Why would you agree to this? “It’s bonkers.”
“I completely agree.” He speaks. “You need a dress.”
“We need rings.”
“We need to tell our families…” You grab your phone and start to make a list. Get notarized, get a dress, get rings, tell families. That’s the list.
Busy busy day. Josh takes your hand and kisses the back of it, squeezing your hand. Then, you get up and head off to shower.
As the two of you get ready to meet the notary, you begin to realize how crazy this is. You met Josh what? Ten, eleven days ago? How did you manage to fall in love with him so quickly? You try not to think too much about it. Worst case scenario, you get an annulment, right?
You’re getting married to a rockstar and you’re not even a groupie.
Josh meets you at the door and takes your hand, and you begin to grow nervous. Not to get married but to tell your parents. This was a wild idea that you most definitely did not see them approving of. But you’re an adult, you can make your own choices.
Josh squeezes your hand when you get into the elevator. As the doors close, you begin to kiss him, full of this need.
Eventually, you do make it to your notary, Linda.
“Hi! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Austin—”
“No, actually. Mr. and Mrs. Josh Kiszka, and I have no intention of being Mrs. Josh. Mrs. Kiszka is fine.” You smile.
“Oh, my mistake. I didn’t realize—”
“Spur of the moment decision. Which, I know is crazy and you probably don’t get that a lot, but—”
“Elopements of all types are extremely common especially in the vacation business.” She assures. “And honestly, I met my wife and knew I wanted to marry her after a week. Some people wait years to get married and only last for a few months. Others get married after two weeks and stay together for the rest of their lives. When you know, you know.” She advises. You like that, and grin.
“When you know, you know.” You repeat. “What do we have to do to get married?” She hands you two forms for a marriage license and goes through them with you.
“And are you going to take his last name?”
Kiszka. Mrs. Kiszka. You imagine your students calling you that, imagine the name on your ID, on a sign in your home.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.” You smile. She guides you through the steps to do that on the marriage license.  It takes a while, but you eventually get the licenses filled out, and Linda takes them back.
“Amazing. I’m going to make sure everything looks good here and give you confirmation tomorrow. At the very least, you get married by the captain tomorrow and then when you get back to the states, you’ll fill out the license again, and celebrate your anniversary as tomorrow not when the license goes through.” That seems simple enough.
“Thank you.” You tell her. Josh parrots you, and Linda just smiles.
“Of course. I wish you two a very long and happy marriage.” She says, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Yeah, you remember how we said this was last minute?” She nods. “Where can we get rings and a wedding dress?”
She directs you to a small boutique on the island you’re docked at, somewhere that has lots of gowns for stupid decisions like yours. Then, she tells you there’s a jeweler on board. Is there anything this ship doesn’t have?
So you head off to the jewelers first, and you, honestly, spend more time doing this than anything else. You look at black bands, and they’re not your style. You look at silver, but it really doesn’t go with the gold ring you got the other day.
Then you land on these gold wedding bands. They’re engraved with leaf patterns, and the jeweler advertises custom ring carvings in less than 24 hours.
“Hey,” He says to the attendant at the counter. “Can we see the gold bands?” He takes them out and hands them to you, and you both place it on your right ring finger. It’s bad luck to try them on your left hand, right?
They fit like gloves.
Josh glances up to the attendant. “How long would it take to engrave our initials into each other’s rings with tomorrow’s date?”
“Couple of hours. You can pick them up tomorrow morning.” He tells you two, and Josh nods.
“Great.” He tells him your initials and his, so that he gets them right, and hands him his card.
Your next step is the boutique. And you stop Josh before you go into the boutique.
“Wait here.”
“What?”
“It’s bad luck to see my wedding dress before the day of.” He scoffs, playfully.
“We’re getting married tomorrow, doll. Besides, we’re not really traditional.” He has a point, but you shake your head.
“C’mon, for me? I won’t be long.” You play with his collar. He kisses you gently, and nods.
“Okay, okay. Good luck with your shopping.” He tells you, and you kiss him quickly before heading over to find yourself a wedding dress.
You don’t find a bunch of white options, but here are your options:
The first is a pretty silk thing but it makes your proportions look bizarre. So, you move on.
The second makes you look like a Mormon, with long sleeves and a turtleneck. It goes down to your ankles and is made of a heavy fabric. No, thank you.
The third is a new age dress that is white with complex black designs. You appreciate the look, but you decide it isn’t for you.
The fourth one is one you weren’t excited about, but then when you try it on, it’s all you want. It’s a 50’s style cut, and it comes down just past your knees, with a corset top. But the skirt and corset has floral designs, with the skirt being a thin lace layer with the flower print. It’s gorgeous, and it almost makes you cry to see yourself in the mirror.
It exudes spring energy. You think about Josh’s face when he sees you walk down the aisle.
You go to pay for it at the counter, and you pick up a pair of simple white heels, and a pearl necklace.
There’s a bouquet of flowers that sits by the counter. You get an idea when you see them and throw them into the pile of wedding things you have.
“Special occasion?” The cashier asks, an amused smile on their face as they ring you up.
“My wedding day tomorrow.”
“It’s a beautiful dress.” They hum. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” You hum, a blush filling your cheeks.  They put the dress in a garment bag, so it isn’t visible, and you hold the bag in the other hand.
“How’d you make out?” Josh asks.
“Lovley. I even got myself accessories.” You grin. Josh leans forward and kisses you quickly.
“My bride to be…”
“My husband to be.” You say softly. “We need to text our families. Maybe we could have them meet us for dinner and tell them then?”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” He says. You whip out your phones and spend a few minutes texting your families on the cruise asking them to dinner. Then, you turn back to your husband to be, for real, not just to get free things.
“Wanna go back to our cabin...?” You smirk. “We should engage in premarital… activities.”
“Oh, Doll… You’ll be the death of me...” He growls, taking your hand and leading you back to the ship.
You spend your time until dinner doing your favorite things with Josh, and then you spend about two hours fashioning your bouquet of flowers into a flower crown, leaving a few to tuck into Josh’s hair and suit pocket.
He was off grabbing coffees for the two of you, when there’s a knock on your door. You answer it, and it’s your sister. Oh.
“Hey!” You grin, going back to your work on the flower crown.
“Hey, why’d you ask your roommate and his family to join us for dinner?” She hums. You’re about to answer when she looks around the room. She sees the garment bag hanging from your bathroom door, the white shoes and pearls, flowers scattered around the room. Her eyes land on the gold wedding bands on your dresser. She says your name, before adding, “You aren’t…”
“Listen, I know how crazy it is—”
“It’s more than crazy!” She says, sitting on the bed with you. “You’ve known him for a week!”
“…Ten days.” You say, a little ashamed, your older sister disapproving of your choices.
“C’mon.” She says.
“Mom and Dad have been married for twenty years.” You say. “They got married after six months. Arthur and Veroncia got married after a year! You had a baby with a guy who you aren’t even dating anymore. So what if I’ve only known him for a week? Who gives a shit? People have gotten married after a week and stayed together their entire life, others get engaged after five years and don’t even make it to marriage!” You sigh, rubbing your eyes. “Maybe it’s a mistake. But it’ll be the best god damn mistake of my life, so just stand by the alter and look pretty for me.” You ask.
She looks at you for a few minutes.
“Okay. Yeah, I’ll be there. You’re right, it could be a mistake, but it could be amazing.” She hums. “You have a nicer man than I do.” She grins. You laugh and hug her. “Now let me see your dress, Mrs. Kiszka!”
That night at dinner, you hold Josh’s hand nervously, as if he’ll float away if you let go. Your two families get along great. Your parents love his, your siblings quickly get accustomed to his, and your nephew sits on Josh’s lap, and they entertain each other.
Between Dinner and Dessert, when your nephew returns to his seat, you stand up and gently clink your glass for everyone’s attention.
“Hi everybody. Thanks so much for coming tonight,” Is this a rehearsal dinner? “So, a few of you might have noticed my ring, and uh—It started as a joke. To get free stuff.” You say, earning a few laughs at the table. “But it developed into something more.” You look to Josh. “And what I’m about to say, is crazy, I know that. And I’ve been thinking about it for a few days, and nothing has ever felt so right. So support us or not, I don’t care. This is what’s happening and—”
“Spit it out already!” Your dad laughs. You pause, your hands shaking. Josh takes it in his.
“So, Josh and I are getting married tomorrow.”
Silence. No response. You feel tears in your eyes.
“Mozel Tov!” Your mom gasps, standing up and going over to the two of you. She hugs you tightly, and her congratulations break the tension of the table as the rest of them come over to congratulate you.
Anyone who has reservations against your decisions keep them to themselves. Jake comes over to congratulate you two, and suddenly Josh is nervous again.
“Congrats, man!”
“You’re not mad?” Josh asks.
“Mad? You’re marrying a girl you met last week. That is so rock and roll!” He pulls josh into a hug, and then he hugs you. “Oh, good luck, hot stuff.” He hums and kisses your cheek. You feel loved.
“Good,” Josh grins, “Because you’re going to be my best man.” You turn to your parents.
“You’re not mad?” You ask.
“No, of course not. It’s crazy, but you’re an adult. If you love him, you need to do what’s best for you.” You grin.
“Thank you. We should schedule a different renewal of your vows, too, and—” Your dad hugs you.
After dessert, you hold your nephew in your arms, and he’s sleepy.
“Is Josh gonna be my uncle?” He asks softly, and you smile, kissing his head.
“Yeah. I think so...”
“Good. He’s cool…” You look at Josh and admire him laughing with your sister and his brothers.
“Yeah. I think so too.”
• • •
Day Twelve:
Your wedding day goes by way too quickly, and before you know it? You’re slipping on your heels and clipping the pearl necklace around your neck. Your phone rings.
It’s Josh.
“Hey, Honey. What’s going on?” You ask.
“Doll, there’s a photographer by the venue, was this planned?”
Shit. You forgot about that.
“Yeah, uh, let her take photos of you and our families, and she’ll photograph the ceremony. Then, she’ll take photos of the happy couple.”
“Oh yeah? And who would that be?”
“I love you, Joshua.”
“I love you.” He says your name. You hang up, and your parents are knocking at your door. You open it, and they’re speechless at your ensemble.
“Does Arthur have the wedding rings?” You ask, hoping he’ll give them to your nephew.
“Oh, baby, you look beautiful.” Your mom coos, and it hits you.
You’re getting married.
You grin, and head down to the small venue that has been put together on the ship. The photographer takes a few photos of you, and you’re suddenly happy you paid for the whole package.
And then it’s time. Your parents walk you down the aisle, and when you see Josh standing there, his brothers as his best men, your sister stands with your nephew on the other side of the alter. You kiss your parents quickly, before you stand in front of Josh, taking his hands. Your cheeks hurt from smiling.
“Hey.” You say softly.
“Hi…”
“This is crazy, right?” You whisper.
“Absolutely. You look amazing.” He hums. It’s funny because he looks ethereal. The flowers in his hair look amazing.
“You look amazing.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
The captain, your officiant, begins the usual--- Telling everyone why they’re here, about life and death.
“Do you two want to say a few words?” He asks.
“I’ll go.” Josh says gently. “For a long time, I never thought I’d find anyone who could keep up with me. Who could love me for all the parts of me… And then you came along and immediately, you showed me this infinite kindness. I knew I would never get over you in that moment. I love you. And I hope this marriage is an infinite source of happiness and wild adventures. And if not, fuck it—” He cringes, realizing he used fuck in his wedding vows, “Fuck it. Let’s make it a crazy and fun marriage even if it only lasts a week.” You almost kiss him right there and then.
“Josh, I don’t… I never really thought I’d fall in love again. I never thought I would fall in love with anyone again. I… I thought that maybe… Maybe I was unlovable or...” You play with his fingers. “Whatever. But when I met you, I realized that I didn’t know what love was before you came into my life. And since I’ve met you, life has just been crazy, full of love and this… this general glow for life. I love you. I love you deeper than anyone I’ve ever known, and I like to think we have a golden type of love. I’ll love you forever, no matter what. Marriage or not.”
You realize you’re crying and Josh wipes your tears.
“I thought we promised no more crying, doll.”
“Sorry, Honey.” You whisper.
The Captain smiles and looks to you.
“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health? In richer and in poorer? For better and for worse?”
“I do.” A ring is slipped onto your finger.
He turns to Josh.
“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health? In richer and in poorer? For better and for worse?”
“I do.” You slip a ring onto his.
“You may now kiss the bride.” And he does. He places his hands on your hips and pulls you in, kissing you deeply.
The rest of forever starts now, and with Josh by your side, that doesn’t seem so daunting.
• • •
Day Thirteen:
Only technically is it day thirteen.
After the ceremony, the photographer dragged you and Josh off to take photos, and then you went to dinner. You had cake, and then the party really started. Josh’s parents and your own call it an early night and promise to watch over your nephew.
The rest of you go out and drink until you and Josh stumble off into the night. It’s around two a.m., maybe three.
You lay on the beach chairs that you had your talk on back on day ten. Josh holds your hand as you listen to the waves crash, and even drunk, you admire the stars from the top deck.
“Honey?”
“Yeah, Doll?”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“What happens when we get off the boat..?”
“We…” he sighs softly. “We try long distance. We can make It work until we decide to move in together.”
“It’ll probably be a while, unless I can get a job before the school year starts in Nashville...”
“I’ll wait for you.”
“And when you go on tour?”
“You’ll knit on our porch and wait for me to come back.”
“You’ll write songs about me?”
“Baby, every song is about you.” You kiss his cheek. “It’s all about you...” He hums.
You listen to the waves crashing as Josh starts to sing you something. Light My Love, you think.
It makes you realize you’ll never regret marrying him.
• • •
Day Fourteen:
You have to get off the ship early. Like, eight a.m. and you have to say goodbye to Josh.
You say goodbye to his parents, his sister, and then his brothers. Jake holds you close for a while, and then tells you,
“See you around, Sister. Be strong, yeah?” You smile and kiss his cheek. He climbs into the car, and you’re left with Josh.
Your husband.
You wrap your arms around his neck, and he places his hands on your waist.
“I love you.” You whisper. “Don’t be a stranger...”
“A stranger? How could I ever be a stranger to my wife? I love you. We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together, doll. I don’t give a fuck about distance. You’re the only thing that’s ever been easy.”
“I’m a real hassle.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”
“I want a divorce.” You giggle. He laughs and kisses you, pulling you close. He hugs you for a while. Neither of you say anything. You want to cry. But you don’t. You maintain your composure. You begin planning, you’ll drive up to Nashville next weekend, you’ll make it work.
You have no other options.
None.
You have to be with him. It’s like breathing, it’s the most natural thing in the entire world.
“I love you.” He says, pulling away to look at you. “Doll, I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you, honey.” You kiss him one more time, and then he leaves. He climbs into his car, and you start to cry on the walk back to your car. Your family says nothing, and you just cry as you start to drive. Your nephew frowns, and looks down at his dinosaur blanket, that always makes him feel better. He takes your hand in his and doesn’t say anything.
You begin to look for teaching jobs in Nashville, searching for apartments too. As you’re searching for something, you get a text.
“Good morning, by the way, Pumpkin. See you soon?” You smile and wipe your tears, before texting back.
“good morning, sunshine. see you soon.”
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luveternals · 5 months
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paring: TF141 x male reader. rating: mature, MDNI. cw: (heavy stuff guys, I think) violence, death, implied suicide, failed suicide attempt, implied temporary death, morally grey reader, insanity, immortality, not a poly (lol too possessive irl for it, sorry). this story is... mostly just angst and mainly not finished (meaning possible serie? Idk). a/n: took me an eternity bc I didn't know who to write for... nice. Anyway, status update for steven grant x reader is scheduled for next week(Nov 30th). y'all went mad for it while I said I wasn't sure about it! lmao (psst, I approve) ~ ~ ~
When all sensations and feelings get ripped away from you, you realize that the wait is worse than pain.
And it grows more and more unbearable the longer years go by.
Wander the city without destination. Expect that cursed urge that comes yanking at your insides and guiding your body like a puppet. Never be sure when it'll come, but know that it will. At the start, it was nothing but a growing emptiness carving itself deep inside you, but now it’s become an insatiable hunger that never seems to leave you alone.
And when that urge eventually comes, it's worse than the wait. 
The knowledge that you are finally about to fill the emptiness as you follow whatever it is that it’s tagging you along. The realization that you are nothing but a selfish bastard who is letting his greed guide his very being. 
All at the simple price of a stole life. 
You stand on the edge of the roof and peer into the streets below.
The longer you wait the more you feel like you’re fading away, and the deeper the hunger grows. And so here you are, jumping over the edge and glading down through the air like a leaf falling off a tree. Your feet brush against the pavement without a sound as you land at the mouth of the alley, the breeze blowing louder than your presence.
Deep into the alley, a man presses his back against the farthest wall, terror blurring his gaze as he grits his teeth. One of his arms hangs limply against his side while the other presses against his stomach over the nasty slash sipping blood into the fabric of his tunic. His eyes jump from the approaching thugs blocking every escape to the sword he’s lost somewhere near the entrance of the alley. It lays at your feet, useless. 
The stench of death grows stronger the larger the stain of dripping blood grows under him. You creep closer, waiting.
“Sorry, pal,” one of the attackers says, a nasty grin tagging at his lips, “it’s you or us, y’know. Gunna be luckier next time, ay?” he raises both his arms over his head and brings his sword down onto his victim wih a final ‘whoosh’.
Blood splatters into the wall and the thieves are onto the body before it can even fall onto the ground, ripping at its belongings like vultures. It takes them less than a minute and soon they dart out of the alley cackling and whooping.
You stand over the body, staring at the despair frozen into its expression for what seems an eternity. Then you crouch down and lower yourself over it. A shriek cuts through the air but you are too far gone to care for it. Your body feels heavier as your soul sinks lower, bones and flesh latch into your very being. You let yourself go, ignoring all sounds that break the still silence surrounding you and all voices that echoe inside your head.
What if this is another failure? What if this is actually not possible?
You try to open your —his— eyes, but the lids are heavy and when you finally do open them, your vision is blurred. There is someone staring down at you, their hand slapping at your face to keep you awake. “—hear me? Help is on the way, but you need to stay awake.” Their voice is muffled, as if trying to talk to you through water, but their concern is palpable even for your half-conscious brain. 
You grin at them.
You did it. 
You’re alive!
-
They've gotten good at it, you'll give them that. It hasn't been a month yet and they've already found you. 
Granted, it's gotten challenging to stay hidden for longer than a few weeks before your needs start to mess with your head. 
You're running, slipping through the crowd with delirious laughter. Adrenaline pumps through your veins, and you watch the helicopter follow your every move. 
You won't be able to hide. You're trapped, and they know. 
You shove a man out of your way, jump over the railing and land on the sidewalk below with a roll. 
They've blocked the traffic and redirected it to keep any car or vehicle from running your way. 
“They're learning,” you grin and glance over your shoulder, making sure they can see your expression. “Let's see how much, though.”
You push forward and rush your way to the other side of the road to the railing of the bridge. It's a fall of over fifty meters. This body will not survive the impact with the water below. 
You're at the railing when something stabs into your side and an electric current sends your senses to overdrive. 
-
You wake up hurting. And it's one of the most intense pain you've experienced so far. But before you can scream at it, numbness spreads through your body, and all your senses grow muddled. 
You can't move. You can't feel. Only see and hear, though even those are muffled. 
It reminds you how it is to not have a body and not be able to do anything about it. 
It's worse than the pain. 
-
The second time you wake, you're sitting in a chair, head hanging and limbs restrained with more chain than it's probably strictly necessary. 
The numbness is gone and you let yourself let out the softest sigh of relief. 
There's a camera blinking at you from a corner of the ceiling and you let a smirk cut through your expression. It's sharper, meaner than you usually would give your hunters. But the memory of numbness they put you through sends phantom tingles to the end of your fingertips, and you can't find it in yourself to be anything but nasty right now. 
There's an ugly, useless table made of metal before you, and you don't even stop yourself from rolling your eyes at it. 
Right. At least they're not some mad scientist cutting you open to study how you work. Not that they'd find anything useful really. 
The door past the table opens and your captures finally make their entrance. 
“Is this how you make friends?” you says, leaning back into a lazy slump, despite the restraints, to stare at them as they move deeper into the room. “You electrocute them and tie them up with a nice, little steel ribbon?”
They're all wearing full masks (skulls, how fitting) and gear, covering most of their features besides the more obvious. Their height and the like. 
It doesn't bother you. You're not here to familiarize with them, but it would have been nice to see the faces of those who've finally managed to catch you and lock you up. 
“Have you no shame?” one of them says, but his tone doesn't betray his true emotions. He sits on the chair opposite yours and folds his hands in front of him, resting his arms onto the table. 
There's four of them, the ramain three spread around the tiny room. Standing by the door or looming over your shoulder like a creep. 
“You steal the faces of others and make whatever you want of their lives.”
“So? They are dead. Like it or not, they won't miss their lives since they'd already found a new one on the other side.”
There's nothing to hide here. They're simply trying to guilt trip you. Everyone knows what you are, and the world has been alerted about your existance. It's just that they've never managed to catch you. 
What you do might be cruel to some. But to you, it's the only option you have to live. 
Your 'victims' — as everyone so loves to call them — are already dead by the time your soul replaces theirs. You have never killed anyone but yourself and consequentially their empty body. But you have never taken the live of another to make it yourself with your own hands.
All you are doing is trying to keep your head above a water that is a life with no ability to feel. Sensations and emotions both. All you are doing is keeping from losing yourself to madness. 
Is it too much to ask? 
“They might be dead. But you're hurting those you love and care for them.” the man says, “dying isn't the problem. You are not the one hurting. Those who you leave behind, they are the ones to really suffer.”
The words are like a sword through the heart, sharp and incessantly slow as it sinks in. You hang your head and grit your teeth. “Shut up.”
Laughter echoes into your ears. 
“Shut up!” the chains rattle and strain when you throw yourself forward. They leave angry bruises on your skin. 
“This is not the end,” he smiles and cups your face, his frail, trembling hands passing through your cheeks as he forgets himself. “this— you'll find a way when you're ready. And I'll see you on the other side.”
~ ~ ~ reblog, comment and/or follow if you like what I write. please and thank you. without feedback I don't have a reason for keeping this blog alive, since I created it so I can practice my writing.
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commander-rahrah · 6 months
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Talking to the Moon: Part II
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~6900 (haha.. whoops again) Warnings: suggestive, swearing, PTSD, trauma, past/implied abuse, fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, death, blood drinking, combat
archiveofourown: here
masterlist: here
part I: here
Summary: Set in Act II (pre-Moonrise Towers), Astarion and Tav/Reader wake up in the Last Light Inn after he makes amends. Astarion begins to realize what he is feeling for Tav/Reader is different then anything he has every felt before, and it is a continuous internal battle for him in more ways than one.
Notes: This is still a GN!Reader/Tav in second perspective with no names or y/n. The backstory established in chapter 1 still continues — Reader/Tav is Selûne blessed; noble with only a few specific appearance descriptors used (silver hair/star like freckles). This update is a combination of like 3 little daily headcannon dreams I had while playing the game the first time, and I felt like they all flowed so well together to create what would be a series of moments for Astarion to realize he was indeed falling for Tav before his confession scene that happens after Moonrise towers!
I hope to write more for this specific pairing, as I want to add even more to the confession scene from Astarion. And also the resolution for Reader and Shadowheart. I know how it all ends in my head, but I am loving writing it out and sharing with you all! ♡♡♡
P.S.: I keep slipping little Shadowheart x Karlach moments in... because I love the idea of them being together. But you can take it however you want to LOL.
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Astarion blinked awake, slowly, peacefully. He couldn’t remember the last time that happened. He usually bolted awake on instinct after finishing his trance.
But this morning he was greeted by a comfortable silence. Stretching his neck, he smiled as he took in your still sleeping form — hair tousled with sleep. One hand clutching your pillow while the other rested near his own, outstretched. Had you held his hand as you were sleeping? He couldn’t recall once he had fallen into his trance.
As if sensing him looking at you, your eyes fluttered open before your lips curved softly at the sight of him.
It made his half-dead heart flutter.
“You talk in your sleep.” You mumbled with a voice still hoarse and drowsy.
“I do? What did I say?” A knot formed in his stomach as he thought of the possibilities — the damning things he could have said.
“It was mostly muttering. You weren’t very coherent… but you sounded afraid. So I…” You flexed your fingers next to his own hand before trailing off.
You had reached out to comfort him whilst he slept. He swallowed as he looked at both of your hands still stretched out to the middle. Before he pulled it back, intertwining it with his other one laying on chest. “Apologies. I’ve never had a bed partner before… You must have slept terribly.”
“No, not at all. I haven’t sleep this well in months actually.” You said as you stretched your arms over your head, starting to sit up on the soft mattress.
Astarion agreed silently in his head. Not that he would admit it so freely out loud.
The pair of you sat in silence for a moment, your bodies still slightly laid across the mattress as you tried to will yourselves to start the day. Occasionally, he could feel you glance over to him. After mustering up some courage, he looked over at you with his red eyes round and vulnerable.
You studied the features of his face for a moment, before your eyebrows crinkled. “You must be starving. You haven’t fed.”
“No… but I’ll be fine. I’m sure some evil cultist will pull a sword on us and I will get to shred their throat.” He let out his nervous laugh, but the burning in his throat was uncomfortable.
“Astarion. You need but ask—“
“I can’t — I couldn’t.” Not after how he had acted last night. The shame that had ripped through him still lingered, his skin turning hot again as he remembered.
Then you were closing the empty space between, shuffling on your knees across the mattress as you got closer to him. “You need it to survive, you can’t help it that you’re—“
“A monster?” His lips curled, before he flashed his face away from you.
Your voice was quiet, laced with an ache he couldn’t understand. “I don’t think you’re a monster. Have I made you feel like one?”
He thought of your face that fateful night when you learned what he truly was. Surprise had flickered across your face, but never fear or hatred. You had quickly turned the tables as you were then calming him down. As if you hadn’t just woken up to him looming over you, fangs bared like a wild animal.
You hadn’t treated him any differently at all. Perhaps you asked a few curious questions and graced him with some teasing with that sharp tongue of yours. But you had believed him and accepted him as he was. Trusted him.
He wanted to hate you for it. For not seeing him as a wild, dangerous creature. For not just treating him like every other person did when they realized what he truly was.
It would be easier — to hate you.
But he couldn’t. He would never.
“No. You haven’t.”
“Astarion,” You grabbed onto his wrist delicately, your touch featherlight and a bit hesitant. “Feed.”
“Alright, if you insist.”
“I do.” You laid back out onto the bed, stretching out your neck for him. He swallowed, already eyeing your pulse point that was beckoning him closer.
His throat bobbed up and down as he pushed his blankets aside and eliminated the lingering space left between you. His fingertips brushed over the puncture wounds that lingered on your neck now — he had committed to always feeding from the same spot, so to avoid further marking your perfect form. His fingers trailed up your jawline, your cheekbones and into your hairline. “You’re too good to me,” He murmured into your skin, pressing a soft kiss on your neck. Surprised by his own intimacy, he pulled back to look you in the eye. “Are you ready?”
You nodded, fisting the sheet you laid on in preparation.
Astarion moved his body half over yours and sunk his teeth in, piercing through the soft flesh until your hot blood rushed into his mouth. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped him as the sweet taste flooded all of his senses.
But he had become better at it — not as frantic as his first time. Not as desperate. One of his hands lingered in your hair, the other wrapping around your waist carefully as he pulled himself closer into you. The thin fabric of your nightclothes let him feel your warm, soft skin beneath.
The thundering of your heart was echoing in his ears and down into his own chest. But your shallow breaths were acting as a timer. He needed to stay aware of you, to not push you or your body too far. He became increasingly aware of your hands tightening in the sheets and toes curling as you let out a whimper. Both pain and pleasure intermixed.
He realized that so often while he had fed from you, the lines got blurred. Lately, you both had been buried deep in each other whilst he was sucking and lapping at your neck — bringing you both into bliss for very different reasons. And though those moments with you did bring him into euphoria, something no one else’s touch or body had done in a century, it still brought that familiar tremble. A single thought that spoiled the high and made him wish he could peel off his skin.
He didn’t want to cross that line today, not if he didn’t have to.
With a gasp, he pulled away from your neck. He lingered close to it for a moment, breathing in your scent once more before licking at the punctures to stop any lingering blood from pooling out. Sitting back up, his tongue went over his lips and teeth cleaning up the red stains. “Are you alright?”
Your voice was a gentle whisper, purposefully calm to reassure him. “Yes. Are you?”
“Feeling better already.” He wiped at the corners of his mouth carefully, before asking, “Do you need — would you like me to make you feel better?”
“It’s nothing that my amulet and a strong cup of tea won’t fix.” You gripped the edge of the bed as you sat up, fingers already clasping at the golden amulet glittering off of your neck — it glowed slightly at your touch. The colour slowly returned to your cheeks, and the open puncture marks closed — leaving behind the purple-red bruises from his mouth and small scars from his fangs.
“Right. But I got mine… do you want yours too?” His pale fingers swirled nervously on his own knee.
“Astarion, this isn’t transactional.” You said with a shake of your head.
No, that couldn’t be. Everything had a cost, everything was an exchange. He knew that, he lived by that.
“What?” A bewildering look crossed his face, his head cocked to the side. He was sure he hadn’t heard you right.
But you said firmly, “I don’t expect anything in return. Not ever.”
“Then why in the heavens do you let me do this!?” He asked exasperatedly, his voice a little louder than he intended.
You took a large breath before staring back into his eyes, your stare and voice unwavering. “Because I care about you. And you told me heartbreaking stories of how you spent years eating rats and bugs. Being tortured and cut into. I may not ever truly know what you went through Astarion… but I understand. So every moment that I spend with you, I want to show you the opposite.”
“Someone will take advantage of that you know. Take advantage of you —that goodness you insist on.” Your blood in his stomach turned sour, as he knew that someone was him.
“I know. They have and they will. But I will not change my mind on this. And despite what you think or expect, I will not treat you like a monster or a thing. You are a person, albeit a complicated one, but aren’t we all.”
He blinked at your sudden outburst, mouth open slightly as his mind scrambled for some witty response, some quick line. But he failed too as you continued your admission.
“I wish you could see yourself how I see you. Not just the drawings I gave to you when you told me you wished to see your reflection…,” Those charcoal drawings of his face were carefully tucked into the pages of a leather book in his pack. His most prized possession. “One day, when you are ready to hear it I will tell you.”
Astarion remained silent. He was gobsmacked, his eyes wide. He felt like he was still processing, his mind sputtering and his heart thundering from your confessions. You cared for him? You understood him? And there was more to hear? Whenever he was ready… whatever that meant.
The only attachment he had planned for was your bodies intertwining in a false passion. Not that it had been very fake as of late… But everything else.
Astarion was suddenly very out of his element.
“Have a left you speechless, my dear? Maybe I should make unprompted speeches more often.” You smirked, though your face flushed a brilliant shade. He had been silent for too long, so you had tried to make things light and airy.
He slipped back into his usual cadence as his face broke into a grin, a dark chuckle escaping him. “So vicious, darling. Maybe I’m rubbing off on you.”
He prayed he wasn’t.
• • •
It was a hard few days in the Shadowlands, searching for a way to break the curse and edging ever closer to Moonrise Towers.
It was brutal here, punishing. Each turn more dangerous than the next.
There were no animals for him to feed on, so Astarion sheepishly continued to accept your offers. And there was no exchange as you promised, except quiet gratitude from him and an even more quiet understanding from you.
It was bewildering and mystifying. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it. Why you would choose to do that for him.
He could understand you jumping to the aid and rescue of the Tiefling children, helpless animals, the young couples desperately in love. They were good, they were pure.
But he was none of those things. He was wretched and broken. He craved violence and vengeance. His touch was a curse for you both. And he had used you, manipulated you. And maybe you knew it.
Yet you were still there.
And the cursed lands kept reminding him of that.
Everywhere they looked he seemed to find pairs. Engraved wedding rings enchanted to protect the other. Skeleton couples laid next to each other in their final moments. Like the pair that died on the rooftop, their boney fingers still intertwined. The handwritten poems cataloging the love they held for each other sat next to them, like they had whispered it to each other before their last breaths. 
You had found the poems first, a soft look on your face as you read it to the group — your tender voice breaking as you neared the end of the last poem, their final declaration of love even in death. Astarion had to look away as you finished it, his half-dead heart thumping in his chest as he heard you speak the proclamation. He wouldn't allow his mind to even start to imagine you saying such things to him. 
Lae’zel’s huffs broke the moment, demanding they get a move on and head back to camp already. The group blinked back to reality, before turning on their heels to go.
You walked ahead of him as the group began to backtrack to camp, tucking the book of poems into your pack with a gentle touch.
Astarion’s thoughts had been consumed by you for sometime now. For longer then he had realized. Perhaps from the moment he met you. He sometimes wondered what about you had kept him so captivated. Why he picked you to feed on, or to be the unsuspecting member of his plan.
He could have picked Wyll — he was noble and honorable, prone to jump into the thick of things to save an innocent or a friend. Loyal to a fault. And he was quite handsome too. Like the princes he dreamed to marry when he was a boy.
But no, it was you he was drawn to. His little moon.
He had realized that he ached for something he had never known, and had never before believed truly existed — that it was only invented to be seen in plays or read in prose and poetry. But now he longed for it with you.
When he was cursed to this life of a bloodsucking monster, of a vampire, he quickly realized that he would always feel hungry. That he could have his fill of blood and still be starving. He could drain this merry party dry and still feel that prick in his throat and pang in his belly.
What he didn’t realize was that the curse Cazador bestowed to him was so much more. Not just an endless bloodlust, not just waking nightmares and endless torment. But that he could long and ache for companionship, attachment, love. But that he would never take it for himself. That he would always be both starving and empty.
Because he knew he didn’t deserve it. Not after the things he’d done, in this life and his old one. Not after what he had become. He didn’t deserve you — someone so good that a literal goddess had blessed you with their power. Someone whose voice turned gentle as their fingers trailed lines of poetry. Someone who would offer themselves up to a monster, just to make them feel whole again.
You deserved someone bright and unbroken. Who could give and receive touch as freely as breathing air. Who knew that true companionship wasn't some fantasy invented for the arts, that love was more then sex and flattery. Who could one day also lay beside you, willing to accept what fate becomes them and turn to bone. Not a half-dead creature like him.
He knew he would cease his foolish plan. He couldn’t use you as bait nor a shield, not anymore. You deserved better than that. What that meant for him… he wasn’t sure.
Perhaps he should confess to his plan too. As a final way to make you understand what a manipulative bastard he truly was. To push you away. It would hurt less than to confess what his heart wished for, but his mind knew he could never have.
The path the group was walking along was overgrown with thorns and vines. A specific darkness plagued the route, and it was barely dulled from the magical glow of the party’s several spells and enchantments. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise, his red eyes darting around them — searching.
It happened in an instant — the shadows silent and invisible until it was too late. The creatures appeared with a sudden flash, long curling claws slashing into your side — catching you unawares. Your shout of pain alerted the rest of the party, everyone drawing their weapons quickly.
Astarion went to the enchanted daggers at his side, hurling them through the air with easy precision as they found their target. They boomeranged back to him, sliding into his waiting palms. He had gotten rid of one, but there were way more than usual. Wherever they had stumbled into, it was not good.
“Shit!” Karlach swore loudly as more shadows appeared after the ones they downed. Continuing to converge around you, drawn to your huffs of pain and blood. Your blood, the scent that was usually so sweet in his nose but now had dropped an anchor in his stomach. There was too much of it, much too fast.
“Watch out!” Wyll shouted in warning to the vampire, before sending several of his powerful red blasts soaring out of his hands.
With a glance to his side, the rogue twirled around Lae’zel’s strong, cleaving swing with ease before releasing his daggers once again at the creatures advancing on you. But he threw them a moment too late — their clawed strikes sinking deep into you before the magical daggers ripped through them and back into his hands.
The sound of your knees crashing into paved stones made Astarion's teeth chatter. His heart lurched into his throat, your name choking out of him as he screamed. He had never moved so fast — it almost seemed like he had blinked across the battlefield like Gale so often did.
“RAHHHHH!” The booming roar of Karlach echoed in his ears as she raged from seeing you fall. The rest of the party converging on the remaining shadow creatures attempting to surround your unconscious body, moving in sync with each other with a deadly precision.
Knowing that those creatures were being taken care off, Astarion fell to his knees next to you — his pale hands grabbing onto your shoulders. “Sweetheart, wake up.”
You didn’t stir, your head and limbs shaking loosely as he moved you. He dragged your head onto his lap, before unbuckling the holster on his belt. He tipped the the precious red liquid from the healing potion between your lips. He said your name, running his thumb across your face.
You didn’t stir.
“Darling?”
His red eyes studied you, your face looking lack luster and eyes remaining closed. Your hands laying limply at your side, unmoving. He couldn’t hear the familiar thrum of your heart.
No, no, no, no.
“Astarion?!” Gale shouted, his voice exhausted and strained as he split his concentration just enough to check on you two.
The world tilted as the wizard instead shouted for you. But you couldn’t respond... because you were —
“You can’t die, dammit!”
Suddenly, you were all bathed in a golden light for a moment as Shadowheart brought down a thunderous strike of radiant energy, defeating the remaining shadow creatures as they shrieked in pain. Then the sound of thudding metal and footsteps as the party surged forward to you, panting for breath.
Wyll’s eyes went wide with worry as he saw you unmoving, his hand covering his mouth,“ Are they—?”
Astarion looked up at his party with bleary eyes, his hands trembling as he held your face on his lap. “They won’t wake up. I tried, I gave them a potion and they—“
“Oh gods.” The Blade choked out, his face immediately crumpling.
Gale shook his head, immediately dumping the contents of his side satchel onto the dirt. Scrambling through them, “No, no, we can do more! I’ll have a scroll or, or — Shadowheart!!”
The cleric had remained in the back, her face half covered in shadow. Her nostrils flared as she looked down at you. But she made no move forward.
Astarion’s red eyes pierced through her, before narrowing, “Bring them back.”
She didn’t move, her face blank. “My goddess will not allow it.”
“Princess! What are you talking about?” Karlach tried to grab her hand, but Shadowheart pulled away. “It’s Giggles!
Her black braid swayed back and forth as she shook her head, taking one step back. “She is Shar’s enemy. She is my enemy.”
“I don’t give a fuck about your goddess.” The vampire spat, his lips curling, “Bring. Them. Back.”
“I—" A moment of hesitation as her voice shook and her eyebrows furrowed.
Gale let out a shaky breath, his fingers pushing back his long hair. His brown eyes were shining with fear. “I have no scroll, I—“
“We are running out of time!” Lae’zel finally spoke out, glaring at Shadowheart. “Do something now, istik.”
Astarion voice was deadly, his fangs baring as he shout out. “If you don’t do this. If you let them die— I will hunt you down and become your worst nightmare. I will fucking haunt you! BRING. THEM. BACK.”
“Shadowheart, please.” Karlach whispered, finally getting ahold of the half-elf’s hand.
Conflict flickered across her face, before she stepped forward. She crouched next to you, bowing her head as her hands began to glow with golden light. Her small hands rested on your unmoving chest, before the light disappeared into you.
A loud gasp escaped you as come back to life. Your hands finding purchase in the dirt as your eyes snapped open wide with fear and uncertainty.
Astarion let out a loud breath, tipping his head back with a silent thank you to anything that was listening.
The sigh of relief echoed throughout the entire party. Minus the dark haired cleric, who stood up quietly. Her throat bobbed as a hard to read look crossed her face and she backed away.
“I— what, what happened?” You asked groggily, your eyebrows meeting in the middle from confusion.
“You scared us Giggles.” Karlach sniffed, “Thought we’d lost you for a second there…”
“I… I was gone?” You craned your neck, looking up at Astarion, alarm etching every feature of your face.
He opened his mouth, but no words could come out. Fear and panic still held a tight grasp around his throat.
“For but a moment.” Gale stepped forward, his voice practiced but reassuring. “Shadowheart brought you back.”
Your bottom lip wobbled as you fought instant tears, before you croaked out, “Thank you.”
A quiet grunt is all you got in reply from her.
You sat up gingerly, Astarion grabbing your elbow to steady you. Your blood and the strange ichor from the shadowy creatures was clingy to your clothes. You were shivering — a combination of the cold and from the knowledge that just mere moments ago you had been dead. The vampire had undone the clasp of his cloak and was wrapping it around you before you could say no.
“I think it’s best we head to camp. We will take the paths we know.” Gale spoke up first, gathering the contents of his satchel that he had spilled across the ground.
Karlach took your pack from you, slinging it across her back with ease. “Fangs, help me get them up.”
He rushed to his feet, gently pulling you up with him. You swayed for a moment, but your fingers tightly found his forearm to keep you steady. “Thank you,” You breathed.
Him and Karlach slowed their pace to match your weak steps as you walked between their sides, both of their arms wrapped around your waist. Gale was leading the way with Wyll at his side, his staff a shining beacon as the two kept their heads on a constant swivel. Lae’zel brought up the rear, her sword remained out as her eyes narrowed on the huddled form of Shadowheart. The cleric’s arms were hugging herself as she kept her eyes on her boots.
Astarion couldn’t help but count your heartbeats, the rhythm now steady and thumping like normal. He needed to recommit the sound to memory. If only to drown out the reoccurring one of hearing it stop.
• • •
You were much quieter than usual, the lute you would strum by the campfire abandoned. Your eyes were blank as you stared into the flames, licking and dancing across the logs. You were miles away, your half-full dinner plate forgotten at your feet and now licked clean by the camp dog and owlbear.
Shadowheart and Karlach had almost immediately retired to the latter’s tent — still in there now, speaking in hushed whispers that even Astarion’s elven ears could not pick up. Lae’zel was sitting on her perpetual watch, her sword balanced across her knee as she polished it. Wyll sat closest to the fire, using the warm light to inspect a map of Moonrise Towers you had found today — making marks and notes, strategizing the best way to rescue the lost Tieflings and his father. Gale was dutifully at your side, sharing the log bench and reading quietly — his mage hand holding the book up for him and turning the pages.
Astarion watched from a far, sitting at his own tent. He was not interested in feigning conversation. But he wasn’t interested in his own activities either — the book he had open on his lap had been on the same page since he first sat down. Instead, he was watching you carefully.
The scene from earlier in the day was repeating in his mind, he couldn’t shut it out. Not just the sound of your heart stopping, or the scent of your life blood draining out of you. But how you had clutched to him as you journeyed back to camp. That the trembling in your lip would stop when he looked over to give you reassurance.
You had slipped into a deep shock when you arrived in the familiar comforts of camp, almost instantly dissociating once you breached your group’s makeshift home. Gale had swooped in then, his mother-hen behavior taking over as he ordered you to change while he cooked.
So, the vampire had slipped away. Disappointed to no longer be needed. Wishing he too could dissociate or play healer or anything, something to just stop his racing thoughts and pained heart.
His pointed ears perked as you spoke.
“I’m going to go for a walk along the river.” You said suddenly, breaking the quiet that had been settled around the camp for hours. You braced your hands on your knees as you stood up from the bench.
“Do you need company?” Gale asked from your side, already starting to stand up to join you.
“I’m okay, just going to the dock… to collect my thoughts.” You didn’t notice the hurt in the wizard’s eyes as you rejected him. No, your eyes were searching around the camp, looking for something. Someone.
They settled on Astarion.
He raised a single white eyebrow, your eyes never straying from his. A silent invitation, maybe? To join you on the dock.
You gave the smallest indication, a tilt of your head that anyone else would have missed. Then you were off, heading across the camp before turning toward the tree line closest to the river.
He waited for a moment, as to not make it obvious. Perhaps to spare Gale’s feelings, that you had silently asked him to go, and not the wizard.
“Off to get lucky?” Wyll asked as the vampire marched by.
“Wh—what?” He stuttered, steps faltering as he turned to look at his companion still sat on the dirt by the fire.
“Gonna try your luck with a hunt?” The warlock rephrased, looking up from his stacks of maps and parchment.
“Oh. Yes. That’s it, ‘hunting’.” He waved his hands and did a funny little bow, before turning on his heel. When had he become such a terrible liar?
With a practiced lazy grin, he bid the rest of his companions a quick farewell before following the trail into the tree line as you did.
The docks weren’t far from camp. A few minutes journey down a well-walked dirt path through the sparse woods led him to the quiet river.
You were already sat on the wooden dock, your boots half hazardously tossed behind you and your feet hanging in the water. Your head was tipped back, arms stretched behind you as you seemingly basked in the silence. Astarion made purposeful loud steps, causing the wood planks to creak. To announce himself, to avoid startling you.
You didn’t move, didn’t flinch. Instead you merely opened your mouth to speak, “Hello, Astarion.”
Oh, how he loved it when you said his name like that. Like you had been waiting for only him.
“Darling.” He drawled from behind, standing carefully next to you.
You turned your face so you were now looking up at him instead of the dark sky, “Thank you for knowing I wanted you here. I didn’t want to announce it.“
A smirk quirked his lips, “Good, I can still read you then.”
You looked at him quizzically, “Have you been having difficulty doing that lately?”
“You…, He cleared his throat, “You have been keeping me on my toes, yes.”
A cheeky smile spread across your face, your eyes sparkling with delight. “Oh, you must hate that.”
Yes, he did. He rolled his red eyes at you, “I certainly haven’t been bored since I met you.”
You both let out chuckles, before you patted the spot next to you on the dock. “Sit with me?”
He joined you, removing his own boots and rolling up his pants to sink his legs in the water. But then he paused, his pale feet hovering above the blue water. “What creatures lurk in this river, do we know?”
“Oh, don’t be a scaredy-cat.”
Astarion huffed before placing his feet in. He hissed from the cold temperature, but after a moment it felt refreshing on his tired and sore feet. A relaxed sigh escaped him, and his shoulders lowered slightly.
You both sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. Then he kept glancing at you from the corner of his eye, but was careful to not get caught. “How are you feeling?”
You blinked at the question. “I— I’m not sure how to answer that. Okay, I think. Are you?”
“You scared me today.” He admitted without thinking, his eyebrows furrowed.
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, your fingers kneading the flesh of your thighs.
“I don’t need you to apologize. I need you to… Just never do that again, ok? I know you did nothing wrong and you were just standing there but don’t ever put yourself in a situation like that again.”
Your brows met in the middle, your mouth turning into a frown. “The path we are on is a dangerous one, Astarion… I can’t—“
“No. Nothing can happen to you. I won’t allow it.” His voice cracked, so he swallowed some of the emotion down. “So stay at the back, behind me, I don’t know. But I will not witness what I did today again, you understand me?”
“Okay,” You submitted with a nod, “It’s all still very hazy for me…”
“It was terrifying. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like that.” He chewed his inner lip, surprised at the confession that had just hurled out him.
A haggard breath left you, before you abruptly stood up. You started to fumble with the buckle of your pants, staring out into the river as you took it off and tossed it behind you.
He watched you with confusion, “What in the hells are you doing?”
“I want to, I don’t know, feel alive. I need to reset. I can’t get the feeling I had when I came back out of my chest.” Astarion knew that feeling, had felt that feeling. And it still resurfaced sometimes.
You peeled off your shirt next, then your trousers, the clothes falling in a small pile at your feet — until you were suddenly stark naked standing on the edge of the dock.
Astarion did his best to hide his awe at you, standing confidently above him — completely nude and bathed in the dim evening light. You stood there for a moment, your chest rising and falling as you took quick breaths. “Well?”
With a sudden leap you jumped into the water, a joyful yelp escaping you as you splashed into it.
“Have you gone mad?!” He asked after you, holding his hands up in defense of the cold water that splashed from your movements.
“Yes! Join me in my madness.” You said with a loud laugh, the musical sound ringing in his ears. You threw your head back, your bare chest exposed as you flopped backwards and began to float in the water.
He looked at you like you were demented. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
“Astarion, come in. There are no ghouls or creatures. It’s nice.”
He set his jaw, his words coming through his gritted teeth. “I can’t — I haven’t swam in two hundred years.”
“Oh.” You realized, before standing in the water to show him, “It’s like the baths we took near the grove. You can touch the bottom, I’ll help you.”
His red eyes couldn’t resist roaming your wet figure, backlit in the evening light in front of him. Then he snapped his eyes away, turning his nose up, “You’re intolerable.”
“You love it. Now get that stubborn, pale ass in here.”
The vampire huffed as he stood up, “Hmmph, it’s a good thing you’re pretty, you know. Or everyone would reconsider why they condone your behavior.”
You flashed him a smile, before turning around and dunking your head into the water — giving him privacy to undress.
The vampire slid off his clothes, carefully piling them next to yours before staring down into the dark blue water.
Fun. That’s what you were searching for. Just a moment, a thrill. It wasn’t a distraction like what he had tried to do in the Last Light Inn. It was.. an escape. He could do that for you. It was probably one of the few things he could afford you.
“Oh hells,” He hissed through his teeth before jumping in after you.
Even as a cold-blooded creature, the water was a shock to his whole system. He felt goosebumps cover all of his flesh, his muscles drawing taught from shock. But as he surfaced and saw the delight flickering in your eyes, he instantly warmed. “Are you happy now, you wretched little thing?”
You didn’t reply, instead grinning and nodding childishly.
“Good.” He smiled back, “Now, what?” His feet could indeed reach the bottom, he stood in it, the water gently moving over his shoulders and collarbones in the lazy current. It was nice, but foreign — a sensation he was still trying to grow used to after all this time.
You bit your lip and shrugged, beginning to swim in a slow circle around him. Before sending a large splash of water over him.
“My hair!” He cried out, before his eyes narrowed and settled on you. “You minx, you’ll pay for that.”
Another laugh escaped you as you tried to outmaneuver him, your wet arm slipping through his hand as he tried to grab you. So he instead launched a counter wave back at you, splashing water across the back of your head.
“Muahaha!” The vampire let out, his grin spreading across all of his features.
Your smile was contagious, addicting. He could feel strain on his face from his own smile as he laughed with you, the longest a genuine one had been plastered on his face for centuries. The two you played in the shallow river, splashing and shrieking like children. It was liberating, he had never felt more free. Not even the day when he had realized he hadn’t perished from the sun’s attention. This was somehow better.
His wet, pale hand caught your wrist as you went to slide past him in your game of chase. You swallowed slowly, your plump mouth hanging open slightly as he tugged your closer to him — drawing you nearer until you were face to face.
Your eyes were hooded, staring at his mouth. But not possessively, not with the hunger and objectification he was used to. But with longing? How long had you been looking at him like this?
He tilted his head forward, meeting you halfway as yours lips pressed into his carefully. A soft groan escaped you as you felt him kiss you back.
His pale fingers grabbed your naked waist, pulling you into him so your bodies were flush — your chest cold and hard from the water pressed into his own. His fingertips dug into your fleshy side as you deepened the kiss, opening your mouth to him. Your hands trailed up chest, your fingers tips playing with the sensitive skin on the nape of his neck and moving into his hair. Your touch gentle yet firm — it was maddening.
It had been sometime since you’d touched each other like this, but there was something different tonight. Arousal was flooding through him, his lower belly tightening and warming as he hardened against your thigh. Gods, did he want you right now. And not to perform, not his almost ritualistic routine for Cazador’s prey. He just wanted you, needed you for only himself.
As he felt you push into him more, a low moan escaped him.
But then he felt a familiar shiver travel up his spine, disgust — not at you, or him. But at the tainted act. Haunting memories of back alleys and side rooms flooded through him.
Gods dammit.
He had wanted this — to kiss you, to be with you. To indulge for just a moment in you, even though he knew he could never truly have you. A temporary bliss to sate his thoughts of you, his need for you.
Loathing burned through him for ruining the moment. So, instead he tensed his jaw, furrowing his eyebrows as he continued. He could persist, he insisted to himself as his hold on your waist tightened.
You two had barely kissed twice more before you pulled away, completely breathless. You caught your breath, before looking up into his eyes, “I don’t want to go any further tonight, I’m sorry.”
He froze, before his fingers immediately left your waist. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no! You’re wonderful. Just… a lot happened today, and I’m still overwhelmed I think. I hope you understand.”
He understood more than he could bare to say. “Of course.”
He’d never thought to just ask to stop. He never had the choice, the free will to. If he stopped he would have no prey for his master. Then he would be punished. And the punishment that Cazador would doll out for him was a much worse abuse then enduring the practiced torture he did with his victims. So he had just done it…
But you had asked. You had listened to yourself, and your wants and had stopped. You were vulnerable and honest in a moment of passion. You trusted him to listen.
You trusted him.
“And don’t apologize. Not for that.”
You pecked him on the cheek — your lips incredibly soft, it was only a puff of air across his skin. “We should probably head back — the others might be worried.”
He blinked back to reality, nodding along as different thoughts and memories flooded him. “The others, right.”
You both got dressed quietly, your clothes sticking to your damp skin and hair. You began to walk back towards the forest line, the dirt path leading back to camp looming in front of you.
Astarion glanced over at you, but blinked as he had realized he caught you staring at him. Your cheeks flushed brightly, before you ducked your head.
“Gale told me about what you did for me today.” You said quietly as you walked, your eyes fixed on the trail and hands twirling nervously at your side.
His steps slowed behind you, “Oh.”
You turned to face him, your eyes soft yet wide, “Shadowheart may have cast the spell. But you… you’re the reason why I’m here. Thank you for fighting for me.”
His heart thudded, as he felt an overwhelming urge to go to you. To hold you like he had in the river. His fingers twitched at his side as he instead swallowed and spoke, “Of course. You would have done the same.”
The sounds of the camp began to trickle down the trail, soft chatter by the fire could be heard from here. Surely meaning that any thing said between you now could also be overheard. You seemed to realize this as well as you turned back to him one last time.
“Astarion,” You called back. Every time you said his name, it was like a piece of him that he had long forgotten about came back to life. “I’m very glad I met you.”
He thought of all the moments that led to this one. Dying in that dirty, dark alley. Clawing his way out of his own grave. Two hundred years of misery, and begging, and torture. To the nautiloid and the god damn worm slithering in his head. And then to you — under him with his knife to your throat on the cliffside, flushed and dancing at the Tiefling party, sleeping soundly next to him in the inn. And to now, staring at him with your soft eyes and smile, your sweet laughs and touch still echoing in his ears and across his skin.
Maybe the gods had answered his calls after all — if he had been fated to meet you along.
“So am I,” He smiled back.
Continue to part III here!
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robynlilyblack · 2 years
Note
Congrats on 600 followers!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼
she’s underwater again: poly!marauders x shy + insecure!fem!reader? <33
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Do I bore you?
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Poly! Marauders x shy! Fem! reader 
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Summary: At James' match, y/n starts to feel worried her shy nature is boring her boys
Warnings: insecure reader, mean couple gossiping, mentions of food, eating and sex, hurt/comfort
A/n: 1.9k words, I didn't think I would enjoy writing poly-marauders so much but here we are and I even have a oneshot planned in my head for the future 😅 Thank you so much and for the request, I hope you like it x
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Navigation | Marauders Masterlist 
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You quietly cheered and clapped in the stands as you watched one of your boyfriends score yet another goal, you were beyond proud of James, as were the other boys, Sirius screaming ‘that’s my man’ while Remus just did a quiet ‘whoop’ next to him as they leaned over the edge of the stands just in front of you
“She really dating all of them?” you hear a girl behind you whispering not so subtly to the boy next to her
“Apparently” the boy says with venom in his voice
You fiddled with the hem of your jumper…well James’ old one as you listened to their conversation “She’s so greedy” the girl huffs “What do they even see in her, I swear I’ve never heard her voice…bet she’s so boring in bed” she giggles wickedly at the last bit
The boys scoff in agreement “Bet she just lays back and lets them do all the work, or maybe she hasn’t put out explains why she’s lasted. Either way they’ll grow bored like many a person before her, shyness gets dull real fast” he assures her “Maybe we could join them once they come to their senses” you can feel his smirk as the girl giggles followed by the sound of them smooching
You knew you were quiet, you always had been, it took the boys almost 3 months to get you comfortable enough to talk to them let alone date them. You understood why Remus liked you, he was shy too, but Sirius and James were loud and confident, sure of themselves, the complete opposite of you. You would think three boyfriends would make you feel less insecure with three times the love and affection but if anything, it made it worse. Especially since those comments just now weren’t the first nor last, you’d ever hear
Your eyes drifted to your boys, watching as Remus held Sirius’ hand almost holding him back as Sirius shouted curses at the opposing team’s beater for throwing a bludger at James. You giggled a little at his insult gaining their attention, Remus smiled brightly at you, holding out his hand while Sirius threw a wink, both gesturing for you to join them but you shake your head shyly, giving them a little smile
They nod turning back to the game but you felt like you could see the disappointment in Remus’ face as he retracted his hand and squeezed Sirius’ tighter. You pouted at you watched Sirius kiss Remus’ cheek whispering something in his ear which made the sandy haired boy smile, feeling bad for letting them down and scared that they really were going to get bored of you
You looked down no longer paying attention to the game, thoughts swarming your head only broken as you feel someone sit next to you followed by a voice “I’m gonna to go steal snacks from Red and Dorcas” Sirius says giving Remus a quick kiss on the cheek before running off while your eyebrows pinch together, why didn’t you receive a kiss?
“You okay love” Remus asks pouting sweetly at you as he presses his thumb to the centre of your forehead
You face softens as you look into his warm brown eyes, eyes anyone would just melt into “Yeah I’m fine” you say but he tilts his head revolving his thumb and wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side making you bite your lip “Your so cute when you do that” he takes his free hand running his thumb over your lip smiling “You sure you’re alright?” he checks once again, caressing your shoulder “Is the crowd to loud?”
You shake your head “I’m okay Rem” you give him a smile but it looks forced
He was about to speak when Sirius returned plopping himself on the Remus’ side even though there was a free seat for him next to you “Thank merlin for Red siriusly, the girl is a genius bringing an extendable bag, she gave me a hotdog and everything!” he says excitedly eating it before turning to you “Not a word, it’s not like it’s a real dog…right?” he eyes you both, relaxing as Remus’ nods and putting a small bag onto Remus’ lap “Got you stuff too Moons a…” he says before standing up “What the fuck was that!” he shouts mouth full at one of the chasers elbowing Marlene before he sits back down “Ridiculous” he shakes his head continuing to head his hotdog
“Ooo” Remus looks over at Lily “I can’t believe she brought my favourite” Remus does a little happy dance in his seat which would have been adorable to you if you weren’t feeling the way you were
Should you have brought snacks? A good girlfriend would have brought them, a good girlfriend would be the one making their boyfriend to a happy dance. You weren’t necessarily nervous about them leaving you for someone else, the boys weren’t made that way, but times like this you wondered why they choose you when they could have had anyone, as well as once upon a time they seemed so interested in the redhead
“You want a piece?” Remus offers you but you shake your head pretending to watch the game “You sure” he leans forward trying to get a better look at your face frowning as he sees your glassy eyes “Hey what’s wrong?” his arm wraps tighter around you protecting you from any prying eyes in case you were getting overwhelmed
“Nothing” you shake your head the tears welling
Remus subtly taps Sirius’ leg gaining his attention “Yeah Moons…Y/n darling?” his face morphs to concern
“You want to leave?” Remus asks but you shake your head
“No, it’s Jamie’s game I don’t want to be a bother…I’m so sorry I’m already being a bother, aren’t I?” you mumble the second half but they hear it sharing a look
Remus and Sirius couldn’t believe that’s what you thought you were “Love you aren’t we love having you around and if your upset he’ll understand because we love you pup” Remus says placing a lingering kiss on your temple, the pressure harder than normal like he’s pouring all the love he can into it
“Darling” Sirius leans over Remus to take your hand “What’s wrong? What’s making you feel like this?” he asks as softly as he can, worry lines all over his face
“Come on love lets go somewhere private the games almost done anyway” Remus says standing up and leading you out of the stands along with Sirius, your state catching the attention of others including your other boyfriend distracting him and allowing the opposing team to grab the quaffle but he didn’t care, instead he screamed at his seeker to catch the snitch 
As James tried to end the game, Sirius and Remus had led you half way down the stands, sitting in front of a ripped bit of fabric where you could still see the action but allowed for them to comfort you “What’s going on?” Sirius asks as you all take a seat on the floor, legs dangling over the edge as you hug the wooden railing
You chew on your lip “Do I bore you?” you ask so quietly they barely even hear it
Remus and Sirius lean forward, Remus tilting your head toward him “W-where did you get that idea from?” he looks at you confused and hurt, as does Sirius, both of their hearts aching
“I don’t really talk much” you wiggled back to you can see both of them fiddling with your fingers and looking down at them as you talk “I’m not very interesting, you all are so confident and pretty…I just don’t compare” a small tear falls down your cheek
Sirius wipes it away “Darlin you are one the most interesting people I’ve ever met” he assures you “You’re right that you don’t compare because we don’t compare to you…” he cups your face “You are spectacular and so frickin adorable I just want to kiss you all over every time I see you” you let out a small smile as does Remus
“Why you think he was to sit on the other side of me, he’s never pay attention to the game otherwise” Remus says kissing your shoulder and taking your hand in his
Your eyes widen that’s why Sirius seemed distant “Really? But you didn’t kiss my cheek” you pout
Sirius tilts his head before his mouth parts “Aww darling I’m sorry” he nudges his nose into your cheek “I was just really hungry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” he kisses your cheek hand moving to rub your lower back as the other cups over yours and Remus’ hands
“It’s okay Siri” you give him a small smile but your insecurities still hadn’t vanished “I’m sorry” 
Remus and Sirius’ eyebrows furrow “Why are you sorry?” Sirius shakes his head
“I’m sorry I’m so…” you let the tears fall, sniffing a bit before whispering “Why did you pick me?” you had never known why, in the month of dating and the months of friendship before they had never mentioned what drew them to you, or how they were able to say I love you so fast
“Because you are you” Remus says simply “Love we had liked you a lot longer than you think” he informs you 
You look at him confused “He’s right, we’ve fancied you for a long while we just couldn’t figure out…” Sirius says earning a head tilts from Remus “…okay, okay, we just couldn’t find the courage to talk to you” he confesses with a small chuckle, scratching his neck
“That doesn’t make sense…you…you flirt with everyone…it doesn’t make sense why you would be scared of me” you were more confused than before but your heart was fluttering “The first time you tried to speak to me I fell off my seat, I’m hardly scary” you feel heat rushing to your cheeks as you remember the embarrassment
Remus takes over kissing your cheek “Siri and Jamie are flirty and I can be too on occasion” he smiles winking at you looking overjoyed as you let out a giggle “But we first noticed you in the library, reading your little book and biting that little lip of yours oh so perfectly. After that we noticed you everywhere we went, all knowing you were the one for us before we’d even spoken to you. We knew you were shy and we took so long because we were terrified someone as beautiful and pure as you wouldn’t want a bunch of troublemakers as boyfriends” he says “We didn’t want to mess up the best thing that hadn’t even really happened to us yet”
“And you aren’t scary” Sirius adds making you smile “Oh and you falling off your seat was the moment I knew I was going to fall for you so hard I was doomed in the best…possible…way” he kisses each of your cheeks between the final words before pecking your lips
You felt your heart soaring, giggling as Remus mirrored Sirius’ actions quickly “Really?” you look at them and they nod, you were about to ask something else when someone flew through the gap in the stands “Jamie?” you turn around onto your knees
He takes of his helmet throwing it somewhere as he lands walking over and kneeling in front of you “You alright sweetheart?” he asks worried and out of breath, arse falling to the floor as he pulls you to straddle his lap, brushing your hair out the way “I’m so sorry I took so long” he apologises
Remus and Sirius shift over, Remus placing his head into James shoulder and Sirius on yours warm loving smiles on their faces, making James’ face soften lips tugging up “I am now” 
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Thank you for reading 💛
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fleursroses · 1 year
Text
Of boys and boxes
Holy shit I reached 250 followers yesterday!! Genuinely I want to thank you so much. So, in honour of that here's finally the fic I said I'd write back in like October (whoops). It's inspired by this post by @ggomos-maribat​, so if you're wondering why you got tagged in this, it's because you asked to in case anyone wrote something for it. I hope it lives up to your expectations!!! I will also post this on AO3 and reblog with the link. But for now, enjoy <333
However Marinette thought it would be to be the Guardian of the Miracle Box, she couldn't exactly say it would even come close to reality. Sure, the whole thing surrounding Hawkmoth that got her in the situation in the first place generally sucked a lot, but in a way she knew what she could expect. Then Shadowmoth happened, and Monarch, who eventually all turned out to be Gabriel Agreste, the fucking dad of her longtime crush and partner Chat Noir. Yeah, talk about killing the mood. 
Okay, if she was being honest, at that point the feelings for either had been fading for a while, mainly due to all the stress being Guardian put on her life. Sometimes she couldn't help but resent Fu for all that he, although not necessarily on purpose, had forced her to go through, from losing her childhood so early without any guidance, to making her feel like she wasn't allowed to have feelings without putting the world that was laid upon her thin shoulders at risk. It never felt fair though, because she knew Fu had had to go through the same thing. At least she still had some sort of support network. 
Still, the whole thing left her too traumatised to really want to pursue Adrien any further, or anyone else for that matter. This was fine by her, and although he was a bit disappointed, Adrien understood and respected her feelings on this matter. She was glad she could still have him by her side, despite it not being the future they had both dreamed of. 
However, being left with a bit too much time on her hands, Marinette had decided to focus more on her duties as guardian, wanting to fully uncover its secrets without the threat of having all the kwamis being stolen from her again hanging over her head. And as much as she wished Fu had trained her more, she didn't think he had known about... certain connections the miracle box had to various organisations either. Wasn't that just her luck?
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It had been 3 years since Hawkmoth had been defeated, and Marinette had spent most of that time travelling all over the world. Every so often she would return to Paris again though, to meet up with her old friends. They would go out for drinks and Marinette would tell all about the classes she followed online to get a business degree, as well as tell about where she had been and what she had done as Guardian. She had to admit, it was nice to finally be able to talk about being Ladybug, even if the group who knew was still only really small. Or rather, it was nice to have the possibility. In reality, she was so used to being secretive, out of sheer habit she sometimes forgot to mention things other people would undoubtedly have told their friends. 
It would go like this: One of the times she was back after a particularly long 5 months away, Marinette invited Adrien, Alya, Nino, Kagami and Chloé to hang out at the bakery with her. Just as she was telling a story about the crazy commission she had gotten from one of Jagged's friends, something she occasionally did to help keep her afloat while she was abroad, she got a call from an, to her friends, unfamiliar name. Apologizing to the group, who assured her it was fine, she answered. Her and the guy on the other end held a short civil conversation, ending with Marinette promising she would drop something of his by his place at her earliest convenience and then ended it just as quickly. When asked about the other guy, she just said "Oh that's just Damian, I met him in Tunisia," and then immediately went back to her story again, as if nothing had really happened.
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Yet, this Damian continued to show up in conversations after that. Over time her friends gathered that although they had met in Tunisia, he was apparently American, had a big family and a preference for the same martial arts Marinette did. She didn't talk about him all that much, mostly just mentioned him every so often, like when Alya accompanied her to her favourite fabric store while she was still in the neighbourhood. 
"And so this creep comes up to me all macho like I didn't just pepperspray one of his friends right in front of him- Wait Mari check this green satin out, don't you think it would look nice on Adrien?"
Marinette came over and inspected the fabric, and while picking up the roll noted "I think it's a bit too dark for him, but I think it would look really good on Damian instead. He has this weird thing about green as a family colour or whatever, maybe I can make him something?"
Alya looked curiously as Marinette whipped out her sketchpad and sketched out a whole suit while lost in thought. She didn't take it personally, she knew this was just how the other girl could sometimes get when particularly inspired. Interested, she noted that it had been the thought of Damian that did it this time. But then again, Marinette's mind sometimes worked in the strangest ways, and Alya knew better than to pry or interrupt her. So, she just picked up the story where she had left it, knowing it would eventually find its way into Marinette's brain.
"Anyway, at the end the dude was totally crying and I hadn't even done much yet, you'd totally be proud of me girl-"
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In the end, Alya couldn't shake her curiosity. Trying to google the guy didn't help much when she didn't have a surname, and look, she just wanted to know the guy was alright. Not that she didn't trust Marinette's judgement, on the contrary, but it would be nice to have a bit more to go off on. Asking Marinette straight up didn't help much either, only getting her vague answers. But as she offhandedly mentioned it to her friends when Marinette was away again, she found they were also eager to bring up their curiosity. 
"We don't even know what he looks like! But she likes him enough that she makes him fancy clothes of her own volition!" Chloé lamented dramatically. Although she would never admit it, she was a bit miffed she couldn't find out anything about Damian either. Even her sources couldn't tell her anything, and they usually never failed her. 
"I think we should just be happy she is designing again, no matter the reason."
 They all fell silent at Kagami's words, remembering how bad the period after Hawkmoth's defeat had been. It was only then Marinete's cracks had visibly begun to show to all of them, partly through several months void of the usual creative outlets and other emotions in general. It had been... rough, to say at the least.
"Still though. I don't think she has designed this much for one person since, disregarding Jagged's commissions. And she doesn't even talk about him! I mean, when I'm alone with her she always talks about all of you like you hung up the moon. I don't think she has talked about one person she likes as little as... as Luka."
Nino looked at his girlfriend incredulously. "Are you seriously suggesting Marinette has a crush on Damian? She barely ever even sees him."  
Alya simply shrugs. "I mean, probably not, but it can't hurt to think of all bases, right? But okay, what do you think about this: he is a secret assassin and Marinette made him normal by the power of friendship and now she has to constantly like, check up on him to make sure he doesn't go back to the darkside. No, listen, hear me out-"
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Somehow, although they didn't know it, reality had been even stranger. Or well, if they had met years ago Alya could maybe even have been right, but as it was Damian hadn't been part of the "dark side" for a very long time, nor was he in danger of going back. Maybe that would have been sort of preferable to Marinette, but she still supposed her situation wasn't that bad, even though, yes, she was technically speaking kind of stuck. Trying to explain this to her friends was... a feat. 
This is all to say they had found out. It happened when she had invited all her friends over to New York to attend a fashion show she had been allowed to design a small piece for when accidentally gaining attention from yet another designer. When afterwards they were just taking a stroll through the city, all talking excitedly, a beautiful woman had come up to Marinette and taken her aside to talk without paying any heed to her friends. For some reason, they started talking in Mandarin. It wasn't a very long conversation, which ended by the woman patting Marinette on the head and walking away again. 
When she turned around, she found all her friends staring at her, dumbfounded. 
"What?"
"How the hell do you know Talia Head?" Chloé demanded. 
Somehow, Marinette only looked at them blankly, like she had never heard that name in her life. Like she hadn't literally just been talking to the actual CEO of LexCorps. When Chloé told her this, recognition slowly dawned on the other girl.
"Right, Talia. I forgot she's doing that now. Hm. I wonder who she has designing for her, I should ask her..." 
This time, she pulled out a notebook the others hadn't ever seen before, filling it with the strangest characters. There seemed to be some structure to it, possibly making it a language, but it wasn't one any of them had ever seen before.
Later, Marinette would chalk it up to her unfortunately being distracted, but when Alya asked her how she knew Talia then, if it apparently wasn't for her currently being one of the most well known business persons in the world, she just replied "She's my mother-in-law?" like this was a known fact. 
As several voices shrieked "YOU'RE MARRIED??" Marinette suddenly remembered she had not, in fact, told her friends about her marriage yet. 
"I mean, yes, more or less? It happened when I went to China again, and I met this League of uh. League of Assassins. But their leader knew a lot about the Miracle Box and he told me he would share everything with me if I married his grandson. Also that I would probably die if I didn't, but honestly I had hit a dead end so I really needed his knowledge, you know? It's fine though, I don't even know if it's like, legally binding. Also we didn't have to do anything besides be married, so. Pretty good deal actually!"
"HE WHAT-" "ASSASSINS?" "MARINETTE"
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It took a lot of time for her friends to settle down, and to accept that she was fine and not under constant threat of being assassinated. It was a whole ordeal. Eventually though, it was Adrien who settled it by quietly asking her whether her husband at least treated her well. 
"I mean, sure, I guess? He's chill. Also, I am provided with so much more knowledge now, I feel like you're not properly considering that pa-." 
She was interrupted by a strange noise coming from her phone. She glanced down, fully prepared to ignore it for the more pressing matters at hand, but upon seeing who had texted her she decided to reply anyway. 
"Hang on, he's texting me, I need to answer this."
Random American dude???
My family just found out that I got married. They're being really annoying about it.
Snorting, she texted back, knowing her friends were still watching her every move.
Vous
Funny how that works, my friends did too just now
I blame your mother tho
She then showed her phone to her friends. "See? Damian and I are fine." 
It was Alya who made the connection first.
"Wait, if you've actually been married to Damian all along, and your mother in law is Talia Head…"
"MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG DID YOU MARRY DAMIAN FUCKING WAYNE?"
Taglist:
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illym · 5 months
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Justice needs more friends.
A kind of precursor to my other post featuring these guys, to explain how that happened. The Valentine siblings are like... 9 months old here, so they're physically roughly 8 and dressed like it.
ID in alt.
I noticed that a lot of Bridget's canon designs give her a veil / back-of-head-and-neck covering, so I'm trying to find a good one to give her.
Most of this au is locked up behind story developments that I'm writing as fast as I can, but I'll take questions about whatever I post (lol).
Bonus Jack-O + why I designed the kids that way:
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ID in alt.
Jack-O is transmasc in my au, and while I didn't put too much thought into his outfit here (I just kinda went 'her outfits a jumpsuit, that was an 80s thing, the 80s had a heck of a lot of glitter and sparkles, maybe I'll give him a disco-ish suit') but I honestly love how it came out. I'll tinker with it more, change the jacket, but he looks good.
Sylv's sock garters look way weirder without xer.... socks. Whoops.
Elphelt: I feel like Elphelt would've been a really girly kid. You know how some little girls dress super girly, frilly skirts and cute socks and whatever? That's Elphelt. I gave her some bows for that, and long hair.
Jack-O: I felt that a tank-top and shorts would fit pretty well. Jack-O feels like a pretty active kid who runs hot and plays messy, so a simple outfit that is easy to pull off when getting hosed down to clean up for dinner seemed like a good idea. Plus some hideously colored high-top shoes, since that's utterly kid-clothing-core.
Ramlethal: I gave Ramlethal a jacket and long pants. Ramlethal is transfem in this au, but being raised by the people she's raised by (primarily Justice, with long visits to Bridget, Sylv, and Robo-Ky for human socializing) I don't think she would experience much dysphoria from gender expectations growing up. This is a long winded way to say that the jacket is just because that's what the broken up lines looked like and she's in the back so she was hard to design (lol). If I draw more of the Valentine kids while they're young, I'll definitely work harder at styling Ramlethal.
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moralesmilesanhour · 6 months
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after seeing the Star Wars x atsv drawing I think it would be cool if you wrote miles x reader but Star Wars themed. :) if you can. Maybe they like play fight with lightsabers even though that probs wouldn’t end well
star wars au!miles x reader
A/N: warning. i do not know how sword fights of any kind work...but i don't think the star wars films do either lmao so bare with me please <3 also Miles is a bit more...rambunctious? in this one than I usually write him? so enjoy that maybe
(he may also be a little OP here ngl JUST A LITTLE but I still feel like this is at least somewhat in-character).
semi-inspired by that training scene between anakin and obi-wan!
"I almost had it!"
Miles' voice echoed as he paced around the now-empty training room. You leaned against a wall, watching him with an amused grin. "I swear, bro, Pav tripped me 'cuz he knew I was about to beat him."
"I'm a little more concerned that you let a rookie catch you lackin' like that," you laughed. "He's been here, what, like six months?"
Miles spun around to face you with his arms crossed, though there was no malice in his expression. "And you been here what, three years? But I still whoop yo' ass every time we duel."
You tilted your head. "Is that a challenge, Morales?"
That tell-tale grin spread across his features - the same one that made an appearance whenever he was the only youngling in the classroom with his hand raised.
"I dunno, Y/N. Is it?"
You got off the wall and stepped slowly toward the center of the room.
Unhooking the hilt of your lightsaber from your belt, you replied, "I needed a little dummy practice."
The saber hummed to life as soon as you toggled the switch, its blade glowing a brilliant blue as you began to circle your opponent.
Miles did the same, only he tossed the hilt in his hand like a drumstick first, flipping the switch using the Force instead for added showmanship before getting into position. His blade shone a vital green.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'."
He lunged into action as soon as the words left his mouth, swinging with gusto. His lightsaber crashed against yours, already having been raised in defense. You pushed him a couple feet away with a grunt.
"Miles, you're too-"
Before you could finish your sentence, Miles began swinging wildly with rapid rotations of his arm, and you were parrying several attacks on either side of you. Just as he was about to deliver a finishing blow, you got down and slid across the smooth floor beneath his arm to create more distance, and leapt to your feet once more.
"You're too aggressive," you said breathlessly as he began to circle you this time. "You're gonna tire yourself out, lose stamina. Lose accuracy, too."
Miles snorted.
"You sure it's me who needs stamina?"
He punctuated the sentence with a quick spin of his blade before attacking again. But this time, you ducked and it sliced empty air.
Once on the ground, you tried shooting out a leg and swinging it, but you were not as quick as Pavitr. Miles hopped over it with ease.
"Worth a shot," you grunted as you got rose up again and parried another attack.
"Oh, you think you funny, now?"
While he was distracted, you stepped forward and swung with all your might, knocking Miles' lightsaber out of his hand and sending it flying to the other side of the room. He promptly lost his balance and fell backward. When he remained there, nearly out of breath, you smiled triumphantly.
"Yup."
The smile soon fell from your face when you realized that Miles did not say 'yield'.
"Well I'm about to be hilarious."
He kicked his leg in a circle just as you had, forcing you to stay on defense and back away. This gave him ample time to get back on his feet.
You raised your arm in an attempt to attack, but Miles grabbed your wrist and stopped it mid-air. Like a ballroom dance, he used it to spin around and elbowed you in the lower back with enough force to shove you, but not enough for it to hurt. Caught by surprise, you couldn't turn to face him in time.
Your lightsaber was ripped out of your hand by the Force. Miles caught it, and suddenly your own blade was at your neck before you could blink.
"You're gonna have to do better than that, Y/N."
His warm breath hit your ear as he spoke. There was a smile in his words, reassuring you that he meant no real harm.
He deactivated the weapon, and pressed the hilt back into your palm. You turned to face him, thoroughly impressed.
"Shit, Morales, why can't you do that in training? They probably would've moved you up a level already!"
No longer in battle mode, Miles sheepishly scratched the nape of his neck. "I dunno, might get into trouble for that one."
"You're still too aggressive, though," you remarked, re-attaching the hilt of your lightsaber to your belt. "No defense whatsoever."
Miles rolled his eyes and started to make his way towards the training room's entrance with you following close behind.
"Yeah, yeah, you're just sayin' that 'cuz you lost!"
"I won until you decided to play dirty! Not very Jedi-like of you, Morales."
"Tell me about what Jedi do and don't do when you can lift a plate off the table."
"...Touche."
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fics-n-stuff · 2 years
Text
Molly Ringwald is an Absolute Babe
Pairing: Robin Buckley × Reader (fem)
Summary: Y/N comes into the video store every weekend, and Steve is convinced that she's been flirting with Robin. Robin isn't so convinced, until a certain movie selection prompts a shift in their dynamic.
Word Count: 3k
A/N: Despite my bisexuality and crushes on many a female fictional character, this is the first fic I've written for any of them. Idk how much I like it but Robin was occupying alot of brain space and I needed to write something.
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You pushed open the door to Family Video and headed straight for the desk. It was right before closing on Friday evening and you were worried that they would be getting ready to close up shop, but Steve was behind the counter with a smile as you walked over.
“Hey, do you have the movie Personal Best?” You asked.
“Uh... not sure, let me check.” He replied and turned to the computer. You waited as he typed it into the inventory search. “No, doesn’t look like it. If you want, I could order it in for you, it would probably arrive in a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, that would be great, thanks. It’s from 1982, Mariel Hemingway and Patrice Donelly.”
“No problem. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No thanks, I’m just gonna grab a couple other movies.” You smiled and stepped away.
You did a bit of browsing in the romcom section and settled on The Breakfast Club, before making a beeline to the familiar shelf where they kept The Rocky Horror Picture Show and grabbing that too before you returned to the counter. You set the tapes down on the counter and handed your ID over to Steve.
“Rocky Horror again. What’s that, four times?” He joked.
“Five I think.” You chuckled. You looked around the store, your eyes searching for the other employee, as Steve checked out your movies. You spotted Robin talking to a mom and daughter over by the kids’ animations and smiled subconsciously.
Steve passed your ID back to you and you handed over the money for the movies, turning to leave with a thanks and an exchange of goodbyes.
“Robin!” You called across the store, and she turned to find the origin of her name. When she spotted you, she smiled. You smiled back, giving a wave before heading out the door.
Robin finished up with the mom and daughter and found the place empty after they left. Her and Steve started cleaning up, getting ready to close up shop. While she was sweeping the floor, Steve came up beside her.
“I’m right.” Steve said smugly, leaning against the counter. “I’m right and you know I’m right.”
“Right about what?”
“Dude! Y/N likes you!”
“Steve, no. We’ve been over this, okay? It’s not the same for me as it is for you.” She replied, shaking her head.
“Yeah, I know that Robin, but listen. She is here every weekend and if I serve her then she makes sure she says hi to you, but if you serve her then I only get a hello if I spot her first.”
“So she likes me more than you, big whoop.” Robin shrugged and went to put the broom away. Steve flicked off the lights and grabbed the key, and they closed up shop and headed to Steve’s car.
“Robin, Y/N likes you. I promise.”
“You can’t promise me that, Steve. In fact, you can’t even promise me that she’s gay.”
“She rented Rocky Horror for the fifth time in four months today. And every time she comes in she rents something with a babe in it; this time it was The Breakfast Club, and you can’t deny that Molly Ringwald is an absolute babe.” Steve argued passionately.
“She could just have easily have gotten it for Judd Nelson.” Robin refuted.
“For god’s sake Robin can you just open your eyes for one goddamn minute? She’s gay! She’s gay and she likes you. I’ve had enough girls like me to know what a girl looks like when they like you.”
“Wow, that wasn’t a casual brag at all.”
“Not the point.” Steve groaned in annoyance.
“Well, no offense Harrington, but you’re not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed and I don’t feel comfortable taking your word on something so important.” Robin said. “I can’t risk making a move without being certain that she likes girls.”
“I am certain that she likes girls.”
“Well I’m not.”
Steve rounded the last corner onto Robin's street and pulled up to the curb outside her house. She reached over to grab her bag from where she had dumped it on the backseat and pushed her door open.
“All I’m saying is, you’re never gonna get a girlfriend if you’re too paranoid to realise when a girl likes you.” He said as she climbed out of the car.
“Okay, thank you Steve.” Robin droned.
“Molly Ringwald!” Steve called as she swung the door shut. She responded by flipping him of through the window before heading up to her house.
+ + +
“Hey Steve! Did my movie come in yet?” You asked eagerly as you came up to the Family Video desk, handing over the tapes that you had rented the previous weekend: Victor/Victoria and Back to the Future.
It was Saturday morning and it had been two weeks since Steve had ordered Personal Best in for you, so you were hopeful that it had arrived.
“Yes, it did.” Steve smiled, producing a tape from under the desk and holding it up triumphantly. “I read the blurb on the jacket, sounds interesting.”
“Really, you think?” You questioned, knowing full well that the blurb revealed that it was a movie about two female athletes who fall in love.
“Yeah. I like a good sports flick.” He put the tape down on the counter and slid it over to you. “Let me guess, you’re gonna go pick out a musical before you check out?”
“Ugh, you know me so well Harrington.” You smiled, snatching up the tape and stepping back from the counter. He chuckled as you walked away, off to browse the shelves for a musical that took your fancy.
As you rounded a corner you came upon Robin tidying up a shelf and stopped dead in your tracks, your heart stopping for a moment. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and headed over.
“Hey, Robin.” You greeted and she turned away from the shelf to face you.
“Oh, hey Y/N.” She smiled. “Come for your weekly movies?”
“Of course.” You chuckled, holding up the tape in your hand. “I’m especially excited about this week, Steve ordered this one in for me special.”
“Oh yeah, he mentioned. He said it was something I might like but I never got around to reading the blurb.”
“Here, read it now.” He held it out to her and watched as she took it from your hand. You watched her closely as she read it wanting to see how she reacted to the gay detail. She made a little gasp and her eyebrows rose slightly, presumably as she got to that reveal, but there was no indication of whether that was a positive or negative reaction. You held your breath.
“Yeah, I guess Steve was right.” She laughed slightly, handing the tape back to you.
“Sounds like something you’d enjoy?”
“Yeah. Maybe I’ll rent it myself when you’re done with it.” You smiled at that, hoping to God that this meant what you hoped it meant. “Anyway, um, I better get back to work and you probably want to find your second movie.”
“Yeah, I should probably do that.” You laughed a little awkwardly and shuffled around Robin in the aisle. “I’ll see you next week then.”
“Yeah, see you next week.” She smiled, then you turned and headed down the aisle and she turned back to the shelf.
You picked out The Sound of Music and checked out with Steve before leaving. Your best friend, Lisa, was waiting for you in the car and she gave you an in credulous look when you skid in behind the wheel with a sigh.
“You still didn’t ask her out, did you?” She questioned, but already knowing the answer.
“No, I couldn’t. But, I am almost one hundred percent certain that she’s gay now.”
“Oh, really? How come?”
“Well, when she read the blurb for Personal Best she said that it was something that she would like to watch.”
“Oh my God, Y/N, that was the perfect opportunity to ask her to watch it with you! I can’t believe you missed that shot.”
“I was nervous, Lisa! I let it get awkward because I didn’t know what to say.” You pouted.
“Whatever. Can we go to Jessica’s party now?”
“Yeah.” You huffed, starting up the car and manoeuvring out of your parking space.
“Next week. You have to do it next week.” Lisa said. “Otherwise you’re just gonna chicken out of it forever.”
“Yeah, okay. Next week.” You muttered.
+ + +
When you walked into Family Video the following Saturday, you were both happy and terrified to see Robin standing behind the counter. You walked around the store to give yourself time to work up the courage to say what you wanted to say to her, picking out your movies for this weekend.
With one last deep breath, you mustered your most confident smile and headed up to the counter.
“Hey, Y/N.” Robin greeted happily as you approached. “How you doing?”
“Good.” You nodded. “How about you?” You slid the tapes you were returning across the counter to her and placed the ones you were checking out down too.
“Good.” She echoed. You watched her put into the records that you had returned last week’s tapes before grabbing the other two off the counter. “Rocky and Mary Poppins.” She read the titles aloud with a chuckle “Interesting pairing.”
“Well, my brother asked for Rocky and I decided that I’m on a bit of a Julie Andrew’s kick.” You smiled.
“Nice.” She nodded. You handed over your ID to check the tapes out and took another deep breath to psyche yourself up.
“Hey, so, Robin, I was thinking maybe you’d wanna catch a movie with me tonight?” You said quickly before you could chicken out. You saw her hands falter as she checked out the tapes and hoped to God that you weren’t making a huge mistake.
“Uh, yeah, sure.” She sputtered, a surprised smile slowly growing on her face. “I’d like that.”
“Great.” You grinned, letting out a laugh of relief. “The theatre just started showing Pretty in Pink, I can pick you up after work?”
“Sounds great. Pick me up after closing, about 8:15?”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a few hours.” You smiled. Robin handed you the tapes and your ID and you exchanged slightly awkward goodbyes before you left.
“What was that?” Steve asked with a suggestive smirk as he returned to the counter and sidled up beside Robin.
“Um, you don’t have to give me a ride home from work today.” She answered a bit shyly.
“Wait, seriously?” He checked. Robin bit her lip to suppress her grin and nodded. “Oh my God, that’s awesome! What are going to do?”
“We’re gonna go see Pretty in Pink at the movie theatre.” She answered.
“What did I tell you? Molly Ringwald.” Steve said smugly. Robin smacked him in the arm before they promptly ended their conversation as the next customer stepped up.
You arrived back at the video store at 8:10, a huge grin on your face as you pulled up to park outside. Most of the lights had been turned off but you could still see Robin and Steve tidying up through the window.
You waited patiently for Robin to come out, your fingers tapping on the steering wheel to the beat of the music playing out of the radio. Your window was filled down slightly, so you heard it when the door to the video store opened and Robin and Steve stepped out, bickering about something or other.
You watched Robin as she locked the store, and smiled when she turned in your direction and spotted you. Whatever comment she had been making to Steve died on her lips as she smiled back, raising her hand to wave at you. You rolled your window down further.
“You ready?” You called.
“Yep.” Robin nodded, finding her feet and starting towards you.
“Alright, you kids have fun.” Steve smiled teasingly. “See you on Monday, Robin.”
“Yeah, okay, bye Steve.” She waved hurriedly, walking around to the passenger side of your car. He looked at you and gave you a wink before heading for his own car. You rolled up your window and turned to look at Robin as she slid into the passenger seat of your car and put on her seatbelt.
“The next showing is at 9:00, so we’ve got some time to kill.” You said.
“That’s okay, we can just talk.” She replied apprehensively. You smiled again and nodded before starting up the engine and heading out of the parking lot. “I’ve never, um... I’ve never been on a date before.”
“Me neither.” You said. “Well, not a proper one, at least; I technically went on one date with Bobby Harris when I was thirteen but that was...” You trailed off, finishing your sentence with a performative shiver that made Robin laugh. “So does Steve, like, know..?”
“Yeah.” Robin nodded. “I told him in summer. He’s cool, if you were worried about that. He actually figured out that you like me before I did, so.” She added with a nervous chuckle. You thought it was cute. “Do any of your friends know?”
“Yeah, my friend Lisa. She’s captain of the debate team.”
“Oh, Lisa Jennings. She seems nice.”
“Yeah she’s the sweetest. She’s actually been pushing me to ask you out for, like, two months.”
“Really? Wait, oh my god, how long have you liked me?” She questioned, a look that mixed shock and amusement on her face.
“No, you don’t need to know that.” You chuckled with a gentle shake of your head.
“Please? I really wanna know. I feel like it would be good for my self confidence.” Robin smiled sweetly. You bit your lip nervously, glancing between her and the road, before letting out a sigh.
“Okay. You remember that time last year that band and theatre both thought they had the music room booked?”
“Yeah, it was a shit show.” She nodded.
“Okay, well, while the teachers were bickering about who actually had the room booked, you made a joke. I don’t even remember what it was, but the face you made when you made the people around you laugh was... really cute.” You explained.
“But that was, like, seven months ago.” She commented, and you stayed silent, pursing your lips as not to show how embarrassed you were at revealing just how long you had liked her. “Oh my God, that’s adorable.”
“Let’s not talk about that.” You mumbled.
You pulled into the parking lot of the movie theatre and slotted right into an empty parking space. You shut off the engine and checked your watch.
“We’ve still got half an hour.” You said.
“That’s okay. Gives us time to get popcorn and still get the good seats.” Robin replied.
The two of you headed in and bought your tickets and snacks, chatting happily as you went. You let her pick your seats and she sat you pretty much right in the middle of the theatre. You had expected the place to be a lot busier, given that it was a Saturday night showing of a big new movie, but there were only a handful of other people in the theatre so far. You supposed there was still about fifteen minutes for people to turn up before the showing started, but still. It was nice though; made you feel less nervous about being on a date.
You settled into your chair, a small bucket of popcorn on your lap and your drink in the cup holder next to you. Robin had the same, and she smiled over at you as she chewed a few kernels of popcorn.
“I guess I should have asked before I got here but, are you a fan of romcoms?” You asked her.
“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t like a good romcom?” She nodded. “But I tend to prefer horror or, like, a mystery thriller. What about you?”
“I don’t know, I just like movies.” You shrugged, then added in a whisper: “Bonus points if there’s a pretty lady in it.”
“Oh, yeah, a hundred percent.” Robin giggled.
More people filtered in as the last minutes before the start of the showing passed, and eventually the theatre was just over half full.
“I’m really glad you asked me to come here with you.” Robin whispered, leaning in closer so only you would hear. “I would have been too nervous to make the first move.” She leaned back with an awkward smile, and you felt a goofy smile pull at your lips too. You went to reply, but the lights went down before you could open your mouth and the screen lit up as the first ad started to play through the speakers.
You had a faint smile on your lips throughout all the ads and trailers, sparing glances over at Robin every minute or so. When you looked over at her as the movie was starting, you caught her looking back at you. She smiled as she tossed another piece of popcorn into her mouth, and you suppressed the urge to grin by taking a sip of your drink.
Robin turned back to the screen, and your eyes lingered on her side profile for a moment before you followed suit. Then, as Molly Ringwald put in her earrings and applied her mascara, you felt Robin’s hand meet yours where it sat on the armrest.
You kept your eyes on the screen, smiling again, as you linked your fingers with hers, moving your arm to tuck your joined hands under the armrest to hide from any wandering eyes. You heard Robin let out a quiet sigh of relief and squeezed her hand slightly, very much looking forward to what was to come for the two of you.
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