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#(lashing out at the only person it knows how to)
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trailerpark!rafe wakes up with one thing on his mind and it’s not what you are baking. 💦🍯 dirty sex below
Your pretty little self loved to bake and that didn’t stop even when you were over at Rafe’s. He had just woken up, tall body stretching as he lifted himself off the worn mattress. His nose caught a whiff of something sweet, his heavy footsteps carrying him through the creaky trailer and towards the small kitchen. You were quite the sight to take in, standing by the oven as your pretty eyes surveyed the pan you had just taken out by the looks of it. In nothing but a little pink nightgown with the fat of your ass hanging out and nipples poking through the thin material, had his mouth watering for something else sweet.
“Whatcha doing up so early, sugar?” His raspy voice vibrated through the kitchen as you began mixing the icing together. You got a little startled as when you were baking you were in your own world. You were of course happy he was awake though, bouncing on your feet to face him. “Making cinnamon rolls.” You told him, his large hands coming to roughly squeeze your waist.
His blue eyes looked over at the stove, before glancing down at you and raking across your body that looked tiny in comparison to his. “Cinnamon rolls, huh? You always gotta make somethin’ sweet for me. Don’t you?” He asked, voice low as he brought one of his hands up to grip your chin firmly.
You didn’t hesitate to nod, eyes wide and lashes long as they blinked up at your favorite person. Rafe let out a throaty laugh, his thumb coming up to rest against your pouty bottom lip. “I’m gonna do somethin’. Yeah? And don’t start worrying’ about those cinnamon rolls you made either.” He rasped out, watching your pretty face frown.
He moved your bowl of icing to the side, your little protest about it being cut short as he lifted you up onto the counter. He pulled you further down, his massive hand yanking your tits out of the nightgown and bunching it around your waist to see your perfect cunt. “Shit… pussy is beggin’ to be fuckin’ touched.” He laughed, his thumb coming out to rub your sweet pearl in circles. He loved watching you shudder, not knowing what to do as you were still new to all of these dirty things. He smirked, leaning down to bury his pert nose against your clit and shove tongue in your hole.
He was addicted, your cunt like a drug to him as he slurped your sweet sugar up. He couldn’t get enough, blunt nails digging into your fleshy thighs as he ate you like the poor starved man he was. Your sweet whines above only making him want more. He didn’t give a damn how messy he got either, moving his head back and forth as he buried his tongue even further to make you squeal.
His heavy blue eyes watched as you looked down him, your tits swaying as you breathed heavily from pleasure. He pulled back, sliding a thick digit in which you automatically clenched around. “That’s my good little fuckdoll.” He murmured, his free hand coming up to slap your tits. “I’m about to fuckin’ pound your pretty cunt sweet baby.”
His facial hair was sticky with your juices, tickling your neck as his thick cock rammed into you. He let out a breathy groan against your soft skin, the hard smacks of his thrusts echoing off the trailer walls. You were a babbling mess, his big dick stretching your drenched hole and his words growing dirtier.
He pulled away from your neck, both his large hands coming on either side of your head to hold it in place. His piercing eyes bored into you, making your corrupted little brain spin. “Fuck, how’d I get so lucky? Baking me treats and shit. Cleaning up this shithole of a place for me. Gettin’ to breed you with my little trailer park babies.” He said, making your eyes roll back as that funny feeling was growing more in your tummy. Especially the way held you and place, making you take his monster dick and hear his dirty words.
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luveline · 1 day
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pleaseee anything angsty with bombshell!reader and spencer!! love you
love you!
When Jason Gideon dies, it’s alone with his murderer. Isolated from friends and family, years after you last heard from him. Spencer hasn’t spoken to him since he left, and yet the ruin on his face when it’s confirmed to be Gideon churns your stomach. 
He rushes out of the room. 
You look at Gideon, dead, and regret that you never got along. You barely knew him. So when Derek leaves to follow Spencer out, you don’t go with them, thinking Derek has better common ground. 
“You okay?” you ask Hotch quietly. 
He nods, solemn. “Do you want to go check on Reid?” he asks, equally hushed. 
“I think Morgan has it for now.” You turn away from Gideon. You don’t want to see him dead, it’s too scary when it’s someone you know. It reminds you that it could’ve been you, or Spencer. 
You don’t find time to speak to your poor bookworm until later that night when you’ve been forced to retire in dinky motel rooms. You and Spencer used to share because you were the only person normal enough not to complain when he infodumps, and because you were fond of him. Then because you were best friends, and now because you’re in love. How lucky you’ve been. 
He’s always had it rough, though. 
You’d asked him multiple times throughout the day if he was okay, and every now and then he’d nodded or sniffled, but now he’s alone with you his facade fades completely, and you want to have a real talk. 
His shoulders rock. You reach out for him. He breaks for the bathroom. 
“Spencer?” you ask, startled. 
The door shuts hard between you, frame shaking.
“Spencer, are you okay?” 
You cross the brown carpeting to grab the handle. You pause there, heart dropping as the weak sound of muffled sobbing reaches your ears. “Spencer,” you say, soft, and without any teasing. You’re capable of seriousness sometimes. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” 
“Can I be alone?” he asks.
He sounds strained. 
“I’d rather you weren’t. I don’t know what you’ll do.” 
“What?” he asks. 
“People do strange things when they’re upset. I just want to be with you, that’s all.” 
“I’m fine,” he says shortly. 
You’d be offended, but like you said. People do strange things when they’re upset, and this is worse than just being upset. This is grief. Intangible, cruel. Spencer has a history of doing things that aren’t good for him when he’s hurting. You’ve no interest in leaving him alone. 
“Spencer… I love you. I want to be near you.”
Your straight-forwardness pays off. 
“Okay,” he says. “It’s not locked.” 
That’s reassuring. You open the door, find him standing at the sink with his cheeks wet with thick tears. He crumples when he sees you, hiding his face in his hands. 
You’re not sure what to do. Loving someone, you tend to love all of them, and you’ve yet to find parts of Spencer you couldn’t adore, but he just lost somebody important to him and you have no idea how to handle it. You decide to try, whether jumping into it will do any good or not. You walk right into his chest and hug him. 
“Sorry,” you murmur, “I love you. I’m so sorry.” 
“It’s okay.” He takes a shaky, odd breath, like he might laugh. He tries to as he holds your shoulders. “God, it’s okay, don’t be sorry.” 
“I am. It’s not fair. I never want you to lose anyone.” 
He presses his lips into a hard line and nods, prompting tears down his cheeks one after the other. “It’s okay.” 
It’s not okay. Spencer cries and you watch him, his hands weak on your shoulders. His hair is greasy at the roots from all the heat of being upset, his face pink, his eyes swollen and sore. His lashes are sticking together in dark triangles, while his sclera turns bloodshot. It’s clear that today has been extremely hard on him, and you should’ve done more. “I should’ve come after you, I’m sorry. I thought Morgan would have a better chance at making you feel better.” You wipe his cheeks, and tuck lank hair behind his ears. “I need you to know I’m here for you.” 
He’s putting on a brave face, slowly but surely. “I know that.” 
“Listen, do you want to shower?” you ask. 
“I want to sit down forever.” 
“We’ll shower first. I’ll come in with you, alright? We can wash your hair, the warm water will be good for your eyes.” You frown sympathetically. “You’ve cried all day.” 
“I can’t believe he’s gone. I wish I’d tried harder to see him. To talk to him again.” 
“You can… I know it’s not the same, but you can tell me. Anything you wanted to say to him, I’ll listen. You can tell me everything.” 
He nods again. More brave face, more unnerving, fake smile. 
You run your hands down his hair, and use your hands to tilt his head forward gently. “You can be alone if you really want to, but I just can’t have that closed door. You understand?” 
“No, I want to shower with you.” He sniffs. “Sorry if I scared you.” 
“It’s not scary.” You curl your arm behind his neck to pull him in for a careful hug. You hold him without moving, relieved when he holds you back, though his hands are limp where they’d usually be rubbing at your shoulders. “It wasn’t scary, I mean. I didn’t mean to suggest you’d do something, but I think the last thing you should be right now is alone. Thanks for letting me stay.” 
He breathes in your neck. “This is nice.” 
You bend back to encourage him further into your arms. “You’re doing so well,” you murmur, rubbing his back in a slow stroke, “you can get through this. We’ll do right by him, I promise. You’re not alone.” 
“I used to feel it. He was the first person who… really looked out for me, before he left.” Spencer sniffles, glassy eyes softening where he looks down at you. “Nobody’s ever stayed with me. No one.” 
“Well, I’m not going anywhere.” 
He sniffles again. “I know… Will you still shower with me?” 
“Mm-hm. Wash your hair for you, if you want me to.” 
“Please.” 
“Costs a kiss,” you say softly. 
“You want one from me right now?” he asks. He’s joking, because he knows you always want one. 
Your spirits finally begin to recuperate. “Plant one on me, handsome… only if you want to.” 
He turns away from you to wipe his face, both of you laughing, him wetly, you in relief. Both with a little bit of guilt. Maybe because life goes on without the people who pass, and that will always feel wrong. 
He turns back to you. Sadness darkens his eyes, but he closes them and leans down tentatively to kiss you. 
You take his soft one, borrow a firmer one, and wrap him up in another hug. Love you, love you, love you, you think. You’re going to make sure that he’s okay. 
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dropsnectar · 2 days
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Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x Afab!reader
PART FOUR
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So I know I said this part would have smut but it would just mess with the pacing, so the whole next section is where you will find your spice. This part is a little shorter for that reason. Anyway, I hope you like!
When you woke up, you felt incredibly warm. Your legs were tangled up with… someone elses? You would say it was someone else but human skin didn’t feel like this. It was firm and a bit fuzzy, but not like hair.  Your nose was being tickled by… fur? Whatever it was smelled amazing. 
You recognized this scent. You opened your eyes to Lyith’s round, sleeping face. His impossibly big eyes were closed, revealing his long blonde lashes. His expression was serene, and a bit of drool had escaped his half open mouth. Your sleep-addled brain vibrated with excitement. He was so cute you could just kiss him… 
Nope! Awake brain was working now, bringing some clarity to your head. Lyith and Rena had made a habit of covering your face in kisses but it had all been platonic. Excessive affection was a Bee-men trait. Probably? You thought back to yesterday, when he had kissed you and you had kissed him… was that truly platonic? 
There was a heat in your stomach, butterflies whenever he would hang off of you or tease… A part of you wanted to face these feelings but you weren’t ready yet. After all, how could a bee-men be with a human? You had heard of monster-human relations being something that could happen, but was their species even compatible with you? Was there a future there?
“You're thinking awfully hard for 8 in the morning.” Lyith breathed next to you. 
 Your awareness returned to you, and you were very cognizant of the fact that he had been holding you in his sleep. You pulled yourself back a bit so you couldn’t feel his breath on your face. He narrowed his eyes and his lip jutted out. A childish but cute pattern of his.
“W-What are you doing in my house?”
His mouth twitched. “You are a sick person. You should have someone to look after you. I’m  glad though, you only slept for a day this time.”
You looked at him, eyes squinting, “Are you okay though? Don’t you need to be at the hive for your… bee duties?”
Lyith sputtered at you, his body rocking with laughter. “And tell me, what are “bee duties”, Little witch?”
Your cheeks heated and you sat up, crossing arms over your chest.
“I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be in trouble, is all. What exactly is your duty in the hive anyway?”
Lyith stared up at you under his long lashes. “I am a forager. A scholar. An ambassador who goes to human town to get our supplies. Actually..”
He brought himself up and stretched out his wings. They seemed sturdy enough not to get too bothered by him laying on them all night.
“.. I used to know your grandmother. She used to let me forager her garden. Of course, she was a lot more sparing with her magic, so it was nothing like what you do.” He gave you a pointed look, “But she taught me how to speak human. An interesting person, your grandmother. We used to buy seeds for flower monsters off her. She must have had quite a life.”
You stared at him in surprise. Your grandmother had always been somewhat of a stereotypical grandmother. She’d spoil you and laugh at your jokes, leave little candies in your pocket when you weren’t looking. You had never imagined her to be the type of person to deal with Flower Monsters of all things. It also explained why Lyith seemed so trusting of you, off the bat.
“Hey Lyith?” You breathed out, trying not to think about how your legs were still touching.
“Yes?”
“Do you want some breakfast?”
***
After that, you saw Lyith almost everyday. He made a point of stopping to talk to you every time he visited your garden. Once a week he would take you to see Rena and you would work more magic over the plants. As the spring progressed into summer, the flowers changed. You learned that your magic, while creating magical nectar, only stayed within the plant and not the soil. You were right in your worry that a different approach was needed.
You met a lot more of the hive, as on their days off, some Bee-men would come and watch you work on the flowers. Not all of them were able to speak human, but they communicated their gratitude through sharing their emotions. As you experienced this more and more, you started to pick up on what could even be counted as them asking you questions. You’d try to answer in kind, putting a hand on their arm or shoulder and trying to push images or feelings at them. This worked only half the time, but when it did, the Be-men would look so pleased they would dance. 
Rena, had always seemed a bit jealous by this.
“Why don’t you speak to us like that? We speak human for your convenience you know. Aren’t I closer to you then some random creature?”
“Don’t call your hive mates ' creature’, that's rude.”
Rena would get up in your face, throwing her arms around your shoulders and touch her nose to yours. In your mind you would feel her jealousy. A possessiveness that you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy about. You tried to straighten out your feelings, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Then, you’d try to project some calm, warm energy at her. She just looked at you, sighing.
“You humans are a lot more dense than I thought.”
 Then she’d buzz off to deliver her nectar to the hive, leaving you behind in the company of her Hive mates. Lyith and Rena had been giving you more space lately when it came to your magic. You’d take more breaks, and often were given time to socialize. The Bee-mens youngest hive mate, Haven had grown especially fond of your company recently. He was your friend in gossip. 
Rena and Lyith had a habit of glossing over the issues of the hive, but Haven was very different. He would answer any question you could think of. You had learned that Rena and Lyith were actually pretty high up there in the social hierarchy, as they were both scholars who taught the rest of the hive in their free time. 
He was also very honest about the struggles of the hive.
“It's been about two decades since the last Queen died. We were having some issues with ambassadors from hives from the northern hive when a squirmish broke out. A lot of Bee-men died that day. Several of the Queen's favorite drones passed on and upon hearing the news her heart gave out.”
“Immediately? She wasn’t sick?”
“Do humans get sick before they die of heartbreak? For us it is impossible. Our bonds are our happiness. Without each other, our home isn’t a home, but an empty structure…” Haven trailed off, his expression wistful.
“But what was the squirmish about? I thought Bee-men were a friendly species.”
“You see, the two Queens had been sisters. The Northern Queen never liked our late matriarch and had been up to some mischief. She had convinced the Bunny Hybrids and the werewolves to move out of our territory. Eventually, the flower monsters left as well, and all the magic in the area just… disappeared. And Queens usually travel and make their own hives, or pick up abandoned ones. We’ve been waiting for so long!”
“Thats got to be hard. I mean, your guyses population can’t grow right?”
Haven looked at you weird.
“It’s more than that! Our Queens Pheromones give our magic structure! Without a Queen our magic grows weak and it's harder to communicate! Even making our honey properly becomes difficult because our grasp of our magic slips. We are so lucky we found you, little witch! Your magic is so easy to convert. I told you, you are a blessing!”
“But if you guys haven't been able to make honey properly for a while, how have you survived?”
“We haven’t. It's like your mana sickness. Sometimes our magic just eats us up.” You stared at Haven, your stomach turning. Haven looked at you sadly. “You should know this. Your Lyith and Rena have been sheltering you way too much. You're basically part of the hive at this point.”
You reached forward and hugged Haven. He trilled happily. 
“Honestly it could be so much worse!”
You spent the rest of the day in silence. You had known they were starving, but you hadn’t realized how badly. Something else didn’t sit right with you either. The fact that the monster races had left their territory had been something that had been bothering you. That had to be the reason why the soil wasn’t absorbing magic, right? That was the only thing that had changed?
Then it hit you. What was soil? It was broken down waste. No Monsters. No decay. No shit. And how did the Bee-men manage their own waste anyway? Could you do something with this? Could it really be that simple? 
You got so excited to tell Rena about it that it surprised you when you saw her at your door. Rena never made the trek to your house, saying that human civilization had a terrible smell to it. When you saw her face, she was crying.
“You have to come with me. Now.”
“Rena whats wrong, are you--”
“It's Lyith.”
All you could hear for a moment was the large thudding of your heart. Without another word you jumped into Rena’s arms and she held you, giving you a huge squeeze before buzzing off into the forest.
Part Five (Beware NSFW)
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alieinthemorning · 1 day
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How’s It Hanging, Beautiful? [Ace Trappola]
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Content: Fluff, Established Relationship, Reader-Insert
Pronouns: None
Remaster of: “You’re so beautiful.” | Ace Trappola [400 Follower Event]
Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!
This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.
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Ace wouldn’t say that he wasn’t a morning person, but instead a deep sleeper. Usually, it’d take a lot to rouse him from sleep. However, there was one thing that could always get him up, no matter what. 
And that was the smell of Sunday morning breakfast. 
Saliva was pooled in his mouth before he even opened his eyes. He swallowed it as the rest of his body followed the lead of his taste buds. He stretched (carefully, he didn’t want to get a cramp), letting out a satisfying groan. Then he sat up, eyes finally opening to the dimly lit room. 
You were not there beside him or lingering in the room, but that made sense since you had to be the one cooking. What was odd was that Grim was nowhere to be found, but maybe today was his lucky day, and you’d give him some extras (when would he learn that he’d only get anything if he’d actually help). Shaking his head, he grabbed his phone, and headed for the bathroom. 
After fixing his rough bed head and rinsing his mouth out, Ace made his way downstairs to join you and Grim in the kitchen. You must have gotten up earlier than usual today because breakfast was almost done.
“Come on! Lemme just have a little—” Grim’s paw was reaching toward the bowl of strawberries, but you quickly swatted it. 
“Let it alone. Go take your seat.” You didn’t even bat an eye.
Grim huffed, hopped off the stool, and retreating to the dining room. 
Ace didn’t bother with teasing him, and instead honed in on you. 
“Morning.” His arms wrapped around your waist. 
You turned in his arms, “Morning, sleeping beauty.” You pecked the underside of his chin. 
He returned your kiss with one on your forehead. “You coulda woke me up, you know…” 
“Yeah, but I like watching you drool.” 
Ace pulled back, “I do not drool.” 
You simply smiled as you picked up the plate of pancakes. “Time to set the the table.” 
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Sundays were lazy days, most of the time the three of you would just stay huddled up in bed all day after breakfast. Today was no different, except for Grim leaving to follow the sun (he was an expert sunbather, after all).  
Ace was a deep sleeper, but for some reason something pulled him from his sleep. And he was forever thankful for it. 
You were turned toward him (you were facing away from him when you fell asleep, you’re such a wild sleeper), mouth slightly open (no drool, damn it), lashing gently resting against dark circles. His thumb brushed against your lower lid. He should talk to Crowley about lessening your load. 
“How’s it hanging, beautiful?” 
Ace jolted, not expecting you to speak, let alone be awake. 
But then he smiled, “Not much, what’s going on with you, beautiful?”
“Just admiring you.”
“Crazy, me too.” 
You both laughed at yourselves,
and the beauty of your relationship.
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Happy Birthday, Ace!
And now that I've said that, time for a serious end note lol
Sooooooo on the 9/1/24, I had emergency gallbladder surgery! And now I'm having an emergency hysterectomy (Tomorrow lol)! Originally, my appointment was in November, but after another trip to the ER they finally realized that bleeding for 6 months straight actually isn't normal, and something should be done about it!
So, yeah, I'm gonna be out of commission (again)! Which, I've barely been posting anyway, but I've also been in excruciating pain for the past six months, sooo yeah!
I'll see yeah when I see y'all!
Ko-Fi | Masterlist
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homelanderbutbig · 1 day
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Hiiii it's me again 😌 so I was reading that one fic you did where y/n convinces homie not to kill a rude coworker and was wondering about the whole pacifist. I understand wanting to be a peaceful person completely but as someone with anger issues I also feel like pacifism can only be done to a certain extent. So I was wondering, what would be the thing to make y/n crashout? And how would homie react? Would he be mad that they got into a fight? Would he be proud bc his s/o just beat up someone that is bigger than them? Id love to know your thoughts on this.
If I can give a bit of an explanation here, I'll try not to go on too long lol. I was abused for about 10 years of my childhood, which is why I connect so strongly with Homelander. And it's also why I reflect my own experiences when I write my Homelander x Reader fics.
But for myself in terms of how I deal with stress, I'm the opposite of Homie. He reacts externally and aggressively, his go-to is to threaten and to commit violence. I don't get mad when I'm stressed, I react internally. I go silent, shutting down and dissociating because it's too much for me to handle. I was hurt as a child, and never want to enact that hurt onto others. Meanwhile, Homelander does.
This dichotomy is what I like to reflect with Homelander and the reader. They are not the type of person to get angry and lash out, regardless of what happens in a tense situation. They want to use their logic to avoid aggression at all costs. That's why I label them as more of a pacifist. They're also a mediator, which is why their relationship with Homie involves them being the one to calm him down when he's on the edge. I kinda envision them being two sides of the same coin; they've both gone through trauma in their childhoods, and although they deal with their issues differently, they understand each other all the same.
I apologize if this wasn't really the answer you were looking for, but hopefully this explains my reasonings well enough! I'm also including a little goofy doodle to visualize their dynamic. 😂
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ikilledyvette · 4 hours
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(Part II of my seriously condensed 9-1-1 fic is here! Hope people enjoy, even though it's all a bit rushed!)
Part I
Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day. It’s always a hard day for Bobby, but usually, working helps him get through it. Today has been ... worse, and not just for him. Bobby finds Eddie on the couch, staring blankly into nothing. Bobby sits down beside him, a silent invitation to talk. Eddie doesn’t always take him up on it.
Today, Eddie says, “He hasn’t called,” and Bobby reminds him the day isn’t over yet. Eddie asks, “What if he doesn’t call?” and Bobby reminds him about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. 
“Every day you’re both alive is another chance to make things right,” Bobby says. “Don’t give up on tomorrow just yet, Eddie.”
Buck comes by then, and Eddie takes off to give the two some space. Buck says, “So, I had dinner with my parents the other night.” Bobby asks how it went, and Buck says, “Yeah, not great. They had, uh. A lot to say about me, you know. Going through a gay phase, or something. Wanting attention. Getting too old for, I don’t know. Making stuff up, I guess.”
Bobby nods. Cautiously, he says, “Sounds to me like they still don’t know you very well.”
Buck huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Thing is, everything they said ... it’s all stuff I’ve thought too, you know? Like, I’ve always done stupid things to get people’s attention. Their attention, Tommy’s. Yours. And if ... if what I’m feeling, who I am, is ... is real ... how could I have not known before, right? And I, I do know how I feel about Tommy—I like him so much, Bobby, you don’t even know—”
Bobby knows. Everyone knows. Buck’s joy is not subtle; it shines through him, a thing to behold.
“—but sometimes I still—” Buck breaks off and sighs. “Well, maybe that’s why I reacted so badly last night. Cause sometimes, I worry they’re right.”
“They’re not,” Bobby says immediately.
“How do you know that?”
And Bobby hesitates, not sure Buck is going to want to hear this right now. But still, he says, “Because I know you, kid.”
“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling a little. “You do. Bobby, I’m. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I do. Cause that night we talked about Tommy? You didn’t ask me to, to explain myself, or suggest maybe I wasn’t thinking things through. You didn’t need me to prove anything. You just accepted it, Tommy and me. You accepted me.” Buck shakes his head. “I told this to Maddie once, but sometimes it’s easier to lash out at the person you know is always going to forgive you. My parents, that’s not them, never will be. But you, uh. You’re safe.”
Bobby swallows a little at that. He wants to be that person for Buck—but Bobby know he isn’t, can’t be. He’s the reason his family is dead; he’s the reason so many people are dead. 
“I know I hurt you,” Bobby says. “If I hadn’t left the way I did, Gerrard would never have been captain, and—”
“You think this is about Gerrard? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” But Buck’s voice is teasing, lessening the sting. “Yeah, I mean, working under Gerrard was ... rough, for a lot reasons. But that’s not ... Hen was the one mad at you for that.”
Bobby is aware. Hen had forgiven him pretty quickly, but her attitude towards Bobby on his first day back had been ... cool, to say the least. Bobby understands why, had prepared himself for Hen’s anger, potentially Chimney’s, too. They both went through a lot, working under Gerrard the first time around. Bobby had expected them to be upset.
He’s not sure why he hadn’t expected Buck to be.
“I’m not mad about Gerrard,” Buck tells him. “I’m mad that you lied. You—you were saying goodbye all day, only we didn’t know, I didn’t know. And you just—you were just going to leave?”
“I didn’t want—”
“You didn’t want us to change your mind,” Buck says, now visibly upset. “You—you said goodbye, Bobby. I didn’t realize it then, what you were doing, but—if you were gone, if you left, and I could have done something to stop it, stop you from, from—"
And Bobby realizes suddenly that Buck isn’t just talking about Bobby quitting.
“Hey,” Bobby says. “Listen. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
“For how long?” Buck asks, and it’s not mockery this time. It’s pleading. Anxious. Young. For as much Buck has been through, for as much progress he’s made over the last seven years, Bobby is struck every now and then by how young Buck still is.
“That’s not up to me,” Bobby says and points up, skyward, at the man upstairs. “And listen, Buck, I won’t deny I was ... I was in a pretty dark place a couple of months ago. I should’ve been more honest about that. But I’m here, and I mean to stay here as long as I can. Okay? I’m not going anywhere without a fight, I promise.”
Buck inhales, a deep, shuddery breath, and Bobby hugs him, and Buck hugs Bobby back. 
“I’m sorry,” Buck says again. “I think, maybe. I think I’ve just been really scared.”
Bobby hugs him a little tighter and says, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, kid.”
Footsteps on the stairs interrupt them a few minutes later. “Not to break up this long overdue moment,” Chimney says, “but Buck, you’ve got another visitor.”
Buck turns with a little dread, expecting his parents and not sure he’s ready to face them just yet—but it’s Maddie. This time, it’s Bobby and Chimney who disappear downstairs to give the Buckley siblings some space.
Maddie tells Buck that their parents are flying home. “I told them to go,” she says. “And not to come back.”
“Chimney told you,” Buck realizes, resigned and more than a little annoyed.
“Of course, he did,” Maddie says. She’s slightly exasperated but mostly worried. “Why didn’t you?” 
She thinks he’ll say something about not wanting to ruin Maddie’s relationship with their parents or Jee Yun’s relationships with her grandparents, and Buck does lead with that. But mostly, Buck’s ashamed of how he petty it was, bringing up Daniel. “I didn’t want you to think that I, I resented him,” he says. “I really don’t, Maddie. He was just a kid, and he never got the chance to grow up and, and I wish I could’ve given him that chance. I wish I could’ve met the person he would’ve become.”
“I know,” Maddie tells him, and reminds him that it’s not his fault; it was never his responsibility to save Daniel. Buck says he doesn’t blame their mom for slapping him after what he said, and Maddie, steely, says, “Well, I do. For that, and also for how they talked to you—no, it’s not okay. What if Jee grows up and realizes she likes both boys and girls someday? I don't want Mom talking to her like that. Do you?"
Buck recoils a little, and Maddie nods. “Would you be okay if Mom ever hit Jee Yun?” she asks. “Even if she said something terrible? Even if she deserved it?”
“She could never deserve it,” Buck says, knowing what Maddie’s doing but unable to keep quiet, not when his sister looks so upset, not with the ghost of Doug so heavy in the air. He hates to think of how many times Doug must have told Maddie that she was to blame for everything he did to her. “But Maddie, I don’t think Mom or Dad would ever—”
“Maybe not,” Maddie says, “but that doesn’t make them safe. They screw up, and they always feel bad about it, but they never really apologize. They never put in the work. They just ... make excuses and expect that we’ll forgive them, but I think I’m done with that now. I’m done with relationships where it’s only my responsibility to try harder, to smooth things over, to say the right thing, to always forgive. Maybe someday, if Mom and Dad actually work on themselves, but for right now ..." Maddie shakes her head. "Enough is enough.”
Buck gets that, he does. But he admits he isn’t sure he’s ready to cut off his parents yet, isn’t sure he wants too. He still wants to keep trying, and Maddie says that’s okay. What matters is, they still have each other. And she won’t try to change his mind if he doesn’t try to change hers.
Buck offers her a pinky swear. Maddie smiles and hooks her finger around his.
*
Meanwhile, downstairs, a phone rings.
“Christopher?” Eddie says, and takes a few steps, turning away from everyone. 
It is Christopher. He calls to wish his dad a happy Father’s Day, but also to say he loves him, and while he’s not quite ready to come home yet, he still wants to come home, and maybe soon.
“I miss you,” Christopher tells him. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. But you have to stop lying to me.”
“I can do that,” Eddie promises.
“And go back to therapy.”
Eddie laughs. “Already on top of that one, bud. Maybe ... we could go together, sometime, when you come home?”
“Yeah,” Christopher says. “I’d like that. I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, Chris,” Eddie says. He hangs up, takes a breath before turning around, and announces, “Christopher called!" as if everyone—including Maddie and Buck, leaning over the balcony—weren’t badly pretending not to eavesdrop.
Everyone cheers and rushes Eddie. 
“What did I tell you?” Bobby asks him. “What did I tell you?” Hen asks, too, and Eddie says, “Yeah, yeah,” to both of them, with wet eyes and a shaky, hopeful smile.
“This calls for champagne!” Chimney announces. “But since we’re all on duty ... cheap coffee and leftover Ding Dong, Gerrard is Gone cake it is!”
—All in all, it’s the best Father’s Day the 118 has had in a long, long time. 
(And that's it! Apologies, fellow Tommy fans, that he didn’t make it into Part 2—but you know. If Tommy’s at the fire house, who’s flying the plane? Actually, Tommy’s too busy babysitting Jee Yun, and—to both Buck and Chimney’s horror—introducing her to all the worst Star Wars movies. She loves them.)
Tag List @lavenderleahy @v88sy
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Hi!! I just read your answer about Harry s treatment at the Dursley s... How do you think did he manage to grow up as a kind and mentally stable boy despite it (not that he was happy, this influenced his development a lot, but it could have gone so much worse )?
Or was it just necessary for the story that he does?
Well, people can react to trauma and abuse in a lot of different ways. Some lash out, some try and be kind and helpful, and some want to keep as far away from people as they can. Humans are varied and react to a lot of different things in a lot of different ways. There is no universal "right way" to respond to trauma and abuse. Yes, Harry could've been worse, but then he wouldn't be Harry. There's a discussion of nature and nurture here that I won't go much into, but Harry's nature, and who Harry is outside of his trauma and abuse affected how he responded to it. And Harry is an incredibly strong-willed person, so his response to trauma innately isn't to break — it's to fight. We see it often in the books, and I think the reason he turned out the way he is, is because this aspect is part of his nature. Enough part of his nature that he could resist the Imperius on his first try.
Besides, Harry has behaviors that are a result of his abuse, they're just more subtle. But they are definitely there. Harry doesn't trust easily, and when it comes to adults and people of authority who should keep his interest, he trusts even less. He knows he can't count on them. This is why he takes so much responsibility for himself, the adults in his life could never be trusted. He is incredibly feisty, always guarded and ready for something to come at him. This constant vigilance is a result of his abuse. You see the years of the Dursleys in how protective he is of his friends, of how desperate he is to fit in in first year that he changes his behavior to be more similar to what everyone else is doing — so he won't be a freak. How unwilling he is to hear that he's special, because at the Dursleys — special was bad. How Harry doesn't let Umbridge see he's in pain when she makes him use the blood quill because he knows that's what Vernon and Dudley wanted to see and he isn't giving them the satisfaction. How quiet Harry is. Because Harry doesn't actually talk a lot when compared to other characters, his voice was never something the Dursleys wanted to hear and he's good at pretending he doesn't exist.
Harry's anger (which I adore) is a defense mechanism. His anger issues are likely the result of being constantly in this hypervigilant state and constantly feeling under threat. Harry is ready to fight at the drop of a hat because he's constantly in fight or flight mode. This is a trauma response. Reaction to abuse and trauma doesn't need to be obvious and glaring and what you expect. It could be a lot of little things. and Harry's reactions and behavior all show signs of him having experienced trauma that he didn't quite unpack. He can come off as okay because he's trying very hard to appear that way, it's part of his defensive mechanism. Acting like everyone else so he won't be called a freak — but it also hides his abuse and his responses to it. Only in books 4 and 5, do we start to see Harry being more vocal in his sass to people other than Ron and Hermione and inside his own head. Like, he overcame things within himself, he had a small, subtle arc, but that's a lot of times how these things are. Subtle.
I think his compassion is an inherent part of him. Like, I mentioned nature versus nurture, and I think a good chunk of his compassion is a result of Harry's nature. But, his nurture (that is, the Dursleys' abuse), I think, did exasperate it in a certain way. While abuse and trauma can make someone less sympathetic, it could also make them more so. In Harry's case, I think a lot of his compassion comes from a place of sympathy. Of being able to see himself in someone else's shows because he knows what it's like to be treated like you are worthless. So, he'd never treat someone else in the same way. Even when Harry hates someone, his hate comes with some, well, I'd call it base-level respect. Even people he hates are people in his eyes. He is willing to kill them and hurt them if he deems it necessary, but he never forgets they are people. Even if they're house elves or goblins.
As for if it was necessary for the story, I mean, Harry Potter wouldn't be Harry Potter without the cupboard under the stairs. So, yes, him having a good childhood would change the books, but would he be kind and compassionate without years of abuse? Probably.
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daydreamerwoah · 2 hours
Text
Love Through It All (Alternate Ending - Reader Leaves Simon)
tw: mentions of cheating, divorce; hurt; angst; anger; rollercoaster of emotion; sadness; arguing; crying; mentions of therapy/counseling; not a happy ending of them together
Please read Part 1 for my author notes for the beginning of this story if this is your first time here.
I had some people ask for an alternate ending where reader leaves Simon so here it is :) Few things to note here: This will happen right after the club incident where Simon fights Keegan; everything that happened in the original plot will not happen really so reader cheating and them getting capture is out
*Little flashback* - This is from chapter 10 (in italics)
But now that you and him were back at home, the wrath had simmered... just a bit. He was still mad.... but more with himself. He wanted to cut off the man's hands, but looking at you made all thoughts about that vanish.
"Sweetheart-"
"No!" you yelled as you turned on your heels to face him, "Don't fucking sweetheart me Simon! What the fuck was that back there?"
He pulled his balaclava off, tossing it on the bed before glancing back at you, "Please-"
"Stop! No more fucking talking!" It was your turn to see red, "How could you do that?! You went looking for me?! I told you I was coming home!" He tried to speak but you didn't even let him open his mouth, "And you punched someone! Because what?... he danced with me?! Because he had his arm around me-"
"I saw him kiss your neck, Y/n!" Simon shouted. In all the years you had been married, he rarely raised his voice, especially at you... but he also had never cheated until he did. "I saw the way he looked at you!"
"So what?! You think I wanted him back! You think I was going to leave with him! That I was going to cheat like you did to me!" Simon's hard eyes softened, "You stepped out on our marriage! Six times! SIX! Not one, but six! And you didn't even have the balls to tell me. You didn't even tell me how you felt before then! Instead, you fucked some girl! All because you like having rough sex! I'm not some fucking fragile toy that will break! I'm not weak! And you won't even divorce me!"
He stepped closer to you, but you took a step back, "Love-"
"No! I'm not done! I'm so fucking mad right now I could punch something!" You started pacing, "You say I'm yours but you go and act like this?!"
"You are. Sweetheart I swear-" He tried to reach out for you.
You smacked his hand away, "Don't touch me!"
"Hit me love. Y'can punch me. Slap me. Do whatever y'need-"
"STOP!" You screamed. You screamed so loud that Simon's eyes widened so big from your tone. You thought someone would come knocking on the door from how loud it was, possibly thinking you were being hurt. When you thought about it, you were being hurt.... just not physically.
The tension in the air only grew. The anger that was racing through your body was going to force its way out, and that terrified you. You weren't a violent person. You didn't want to see what would happen if you hit Simon... you knew he wouldn't do anything back, but the thought of being like your ex made you want to vomit.
A shift in Simon's eyes only confirmed that what you did wasn't like you. It wasn't the woman he married. But he hated himself to know it was all because of him that you had changed. And he couldn't stop it.
It was as if a dam burst as tears began to fall down your cheeks. The mascara and eyeliner causing black streaks on the skin. You didn't even care if he saw you in pain or not. You wanted to scream and to lash out at him, but your throat had become so dry from shouting already you had no energy left in you.
You lowered your head, softly shaking it, "I need space, Simon. I need to be away from you... You need to be away from me." you said.
"Wait, please don't-"
"Please, Simon... please just give me space and time to think about everything," you sniffed, "I'm begging you.... please."
He stood there, eyes shifting between yours as he listened to you. As he heard your plea. He had been so worried about losing you that he only made things worse. And there was nothing that he could do to fix it other than give you what you wanted. Give you the space you needed.
He slowly nodded as tears formed in his own eyes, and a sob left your mouth as you clamped a hand around your lips to stop the sound from escaping. "Alright," he said, voice barely above a whisper, "I'll give you anything y'want. Promise. Just-" He stopped himself from finishing his sentence, "Alright."
It was the last thing he said before he grabbed his balaclava off the bed and left the house. As soon as the door shut, you couldn't help but sink down to your knees and let out one of the hardest, silent cries you ever had. It was so hard to do anything but cry, and that you did. You cried as you took your dress off. You cried as you sat on the floor in the shower, letting the water fall all over you. You cried as you gazed at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you wanted to punch the glass.
************************************************************************
Simon opened his office door before quickly shutting and locking it once he stepped inside. It was cold and dark, like it always was. But this time, it felt colder... damper. The windowless room offered no light source until he flicked on the small lamp on this desk. It barely lit up anything, but it was enough for him to find his way to the couch located off to the side of the room.
He slumped down with a low and painful groan leaving his mouth. It wasn't the smartest idea for him to even be fighting when he was still bruised and battered from the mission he left not even 24 hours ago. Actually, it was a stupid idea, and he knew that. The adrenaline no longer pumping through him, he felt how the knuckle on his right hand had split a little. When he glanced down at it, he felt a rush of sadness fall to his stomach as he looked at the dried up blood.
"Fuck," he said.
He wished someone could punch him in the face. The amount of force that he struck with his first on the guy at the club, he wished it was his face that he hit. He felt like he could take one of his knives and stab himself in the chest. He didn't deserve anything after what he did to you.... You had given him more than he truly deserved by staying with him at the beginning of all of this. All he did in return was made you cry damn near every day.
Maybe he did deserve to let you go; to let you leave him. He thought about if he should just be alone for the rest of his life. Retire and move somewhere remote, so he couldn't have any human interaction. So he wouldn't ever hurt you again by seeing him, by thinking about what he did to you. Or if he was lucky, he'd get himself killed on the next mission he was sent off to. It'd be quick and painless, he hoped. You could even be free from him.
He laid down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling as his huge frame barely fit comfortably on it. But he didn't deserve comfort. He didn't deserve to live, he thought. Maybe one day, he could finally be with his mom, his brother.... his nephew. If they were alive, he was sure his Tommy would have punched him square in the face. He could see the look on his face so vividly. The pain in his heart was worse than the hook that pierced through his rib so many years ago. He thought he deserved another hook.... and he'd let it happen if that meant making you happy once again.
************************************************************************
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ava asked you.
The two of you sat on her couch as you had a glass of wine in your hand. You had been staring at those damn papers for almost an hour as you and her talked about everything, most of the time you just crying in her lap like you were a child needing comfort from a mother.
Four weeks had passed since you and Simon had last spoken or seen each other. And in that time, you felt more angry with everything that was going on in your life. You wanted to.... you really wanted to work things out with Simon, but you knew it was no use. Things wouldn't ever get back to the way they were, and even thinking about getting past his infidelity just made you want to dry heave. And knowing how he acted - looking for you and beating someone up - just made your stomach twist in painful knots.
You needed to be away from him... for a long time.
Nodding, you let out a sob. Even just the act of signing the papers to give to him caused major anxiety in your chest. But you set the glass on the coffee table before picking up the divorce papers with trembling hands, "I have to."
Ava gave you a comforting nod as she rubbed your back softly. She knew it was hard... she had been in your shoes once and she didn't want to see you hurt anymore regardless of if you stayed with Simon or not. She handed you the pen that was sitting on the table, and still with trembling hands, you went through each page, filling them out signing your name. You thought you were going to pass out when you signed the last page, but it strangely felt.... good. Like a relief that you had been wanting since the night you told Simon you wanted a divorce.
But you also were afraid of what was going to happen next. Simon had proved himself to you over and over that he wasn't going to divorce you. Would he get angry? Would he rip the papers up? Would he hurt you even more? You didn't know, and that was terrifying to not know. Yet, you still pulled out your phone and texted him asking to meet the following morning.
When the front door of the apartment opened, you had already been sitting at the dining table. You tried your best to calm your breathing all morning from the anxiety running through your body, but when you heard his heavy footsteps cross through the doorframe, you couldn't help but suck in a breath.
The same thing was for him as he looked around the living room before he saw you sitting at the table. He thought he would feel better when he walked in, but for some reason his heart broke a little knowing he was the one that brought you all of this pain. It broke even more when he glanced down to see the white papers on the table, before meeting your eyes.
"Hey," he softly said, pulling his balaclava off as he walked and sat down across from you.
You tried to keep your composure calm, but your voice was shaky, "Hey."
The silence that engulfed the room for that brief pause could have killed you both. Simon's eyes kept flickering down to the papers every few seconds, and you couldn't help but lower your head. This was going to be way harder than you thought.
"Y'wanted to talk?" he asked, his own voice different than the usual tone.
You nervously bit your lip as you raised your hand and set it on top of the papers. His eyes looked down at the table once more before you slid them across the table, "I want a divorce Simon."
He could only swallow the lump in his throat that was so thick, he thought he would choke on it. He couldn't even form a sentence to respond back to you as his eyes stayed glued onto the papers that were now in front of him. It was stupid of him to think after all he had done you would still want to be with him, but deep down he knew he didn't deserve you. That night he said he'd give you anything you wanted - and this seemed to be what you wanted. But he couldn't help the guilt, regret, anger, sadness, and everything else that flowed through him at the same time all too quick. But he remained quiet - too quiet.
Your heartbeat quickened at his lack of response to you. You almost thought he was going to yell at you, but when he finally took the papers into his hand, you didn't know what to feel. It was... odd.
"I..." he paused, trying his best to not let his voice sound too angry and hurt, "I'll sign them tonight and give em back to you tomorrow," he said before he abruptly stood up. You barely got a chance to see the expression on his face when he turned around heading to the bedroom, "Need to grab a few things. Won't be long."
And he wasn't. He grabbed a couple of dufflebags and hastily threw clothes into them, along with his gear and toiletry items, before he walked back towards the front door. You hadn't moved from your spot at the table as you looked at him with tearful eyes that had yet to fall. But the moment both of your eyes locked on each other, that's when you saw it - the fear in him. It wasn't fear for his life... but fear that knowing he wouldn't know what to do anymore. The harsh thoughts that he wanted to act on; to disappear, die, or take himself out. But that was extreme. He knew he couldn't do that. So he gave you a small nod before opening the door and walking out.
************************************************************************
A lot can happen in 5 year... half a decade... especially in a marriage.
And god you never thought it would come to a divorce between you and Simon.
The next day after you'd given him the papers, you walked in the apartment after work to see them laying on the dining table.
He had signed them like you asked him to.
A part of you thought he was going to call or text saying he wasn't going to, but the fact that he did made so many mixed emotions run through you.
Those feelings only continued to be confusing throughout the entire process of it all. The packing up your things. You and Simon cleaning out the apartment. Moving to a new place. Everything was confusing. But as time went on, you began to feel different; good. A soft peaceful aura flowed around you, and it was noticeable. You weren't crying as much anymore. You smiled more.
As much as good distractions came in going out from time to time with Ava, you found yourself enjoying just being alone. The silence that welcomed you each time you came home from work put a warm and comfort feeling in your chest.
Before you knew it... almost a year had passed by since the divorce, and not once had you seen Simon. There were times that you thought about him, the last thing he ever said to you replaying in your mind.
"I'll always love you sweetheart."
It was a promise to you. A promise that he would finally let you go. But a promise that his heart wouldn't beat for anyone else. And it didn't... he would never let anyone get close enough to him ever again.
It was rainy evening - more of a forceful thunderstorm that blew through the entire area - and you were bundled up on the couch watching a movie. With a cup of tea in your hand, you tried to warm up from the cool temperate that was outside since Autumn had set in a couple of weeks ago. There was a quick knock at your door, making you glance towards it. Your eyebrows furrowed as you set the cup on the coffee table and stood up. You weren't expecting anyone since Ava and her husband were gone on vacation.
Huh?
Slowly making your way towards the door, your pulse quickened thinking it was Simon. No. That couldn't be right. He hadn't talked to you in forever. And he made it very clear that he wasn't going to do anything like look for you.
So who was it?
Looking through the peephole you saw a bulky and tall guy on the other side with his signature mohawk. Your eyes widened as you unlocked and opened the door, looking at him in confusion.
"Johnny?" you asked in confusion, "What're you doing here?"
He looked... tired. Like he had just come back from a mission or something. But he also looked...... nervous? Scared? And his silence made you gulp.
He quickly glanced down at the floor before meeting your eyes again.
"It's Simon."
I had to leave yall on a cliff hanger lol! Seems to be my speciality huh? Let me know what you all think about this ending or if you'd like to see something else (not sure if I'm taking requests for this, but we'll see)
Taglist: @kalypsoox @fruitymoonbeams-blogz @kylies-love-letter @xrosegoldwolfx @linaaaaa654 @jessicab1991 @darkravenqueen98 @yazyazali @thychuvaluswife @chloeforde @cownini @ssc7514
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lovezbrownies · 10 hours
Note
I’m on my knees begging you. Darling ends up lashing out at Gen because they are done with the pain she causes them and ends up going to Reina for comfort.
Defense. (Yandere!Military Chief x GN!Reader x Maid)
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Gen's Masterlist - General Masterlist
Synopsis: Sometimes, when you hurt a weak person so much, they tend to fight back.
Warnings: Gen. That's it, she is the warning. Abuse, and fighting.
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Morning sunlight seeped through the narrow window, illuminating the modest room where you awoke, feeling more like a shadow than a person. Beside you, Gen stirred, her form a reminder of the paradox that was your existence. In the light of day, she appeared serene, almost ethereal, but the truth behind her façade was far more complicated. You could hardly remember the last time you felt free, unencumbered by her volatile emotions and the chains of control that bound you. Gen’s affection was often as cold as it was hot, a confusing mix of tenderness and brutality that left you reeling.
You shifted slightly, trying not to wake her, though a part of you was desperate for her to remain asleep. It was in these quiet moments, when she was still, that you felt the weight of your despair most acutely. The memories of her softer moments—the laughter, the fleeting tenderness—would swirl in your mind, but they were always tainted by the sharp edge of her rage, which could erupt without warning. As you lay there, you couldn’t help but wonder how long you could endure this emotional tug-of-war, the constant oscillation between love and control.
The sound of her voice, sweet yet laced with something darker, pulled you from your thoughts. “Good morning, love,” Gen murmured, her eyes fluttering open to meet yours. The warmth in her gaze was intoxicating, but beneath it lay an undercurrent of possessiveness that made your skin crawl. “You look so tired. Did you sleep well?” Her concern felt more like an accusation, a reminder that your well-being was tied to her whims. You forced a smile, a hollow gesture that barely touched your eyes. “Just a little restless,” you replied, your voice shaking slightly.
Gen studied you, her gaze penetrating, as if she could peel back the layers of your carefully constructed facade. “Restlessness doesn’t suit you. You know I can help with that, right?” There was a subtle hint of lust in her words, a reminder that any defiance could lead to repercussions. You wanted to scream that you needed more than her twisted version of help, that you were suffocating under her grasp, but the fear of inciting her wrath held you captive. Instead, you nodded, feeling the chains of your reality tighten around you once more.
Days turned into a blur, and you found yourself caught in an unending cycle of Gen’s emotional outbursts. One moment she would be affectionate, wrapping you in her arms as if you were the only thing that mattered, and the next, she would lash out with words that sliced through you like daggers. You had grown accustomed to the shifting tides of her moods, but the toll it took on your psyche was unbearable. The pressure built like a coiled spring, and with every passing day, you felt more trapped, more desperate to escape the prison of your life.
One fateful evening, the tension reached a boiling point. Gen had returned from a meeting, her mood darkened by the weight of her position as Chief of Military and the idiocy of the rest of the Chiefs. You could feel the storm brewing long before she stepped through the door, her energy crackling in the air like a lightning bolt ready to strike. You had prepared yourself for it, but nothing could shield you from the inevitable confrontation. “What’s wrong with you today?” she snapped, her eyes flashing as they found you in the corner of the room. “You’re acting like a child. Are you hiding something from me?”
Your heart raced, and the familiar dread pooled in your stomach. “I’m not hiding anything, Gen,” you stammered, the lie tasting bitter on your tongue. “I just—” But before you could finish, she stepped closer, her presence engulfing you, and the air felt thick with tension. “You think I don’t know when you’re lying?” she hissed, her voice low and dangerous. In that moment, the fragile threads of your restraint snapped.
“I can’t take this anymore!”
The words burst forth, a primal scream of frustration and anguish. You could feel the weight of your emotions crashing down like a tidal wave, overwhelming you in a way you had never experienced. “I’m tired of your games, Gen! I’m not your possession!” The room fell silent, your voice echoing off the walls like a haunting refrain. For a moment, you felt liberated, the release of truth washing over you, but the fear of her response loomed large.
Gen’s expression shifted from surprise to anger, her eyes darkening as she took a step back, visibly shocked by your outburst. “How dare you speak to me like that?” she spat, her voice cold and unyielding. “You think you can just throw a tantrum and face no consequences? You belong to me!” The venom in her words sent chills down your spine, and despite the defiance you had just shown, you felt a deep sense of dread settle over you.
“I-I belong to no one!” you yelled, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. With that, you turned and fled, the need to escape her presence overwhelming any rational thought. You raced down the hallway, your heart pounding in your chest, desperate to find solace in the only place you could—Reina’s quarters.
You burst into the small, dimly lit room that belonged to Reina, the maid who had become your secret confidante and sanctuary in this life of turmoil. The air was heavy with the scent of lavender, a calming balm in the storm of your emotions. When Reina looked up, her expression shifted from surprise to concern as she took in your disheveled state. Without a word, you rushed into her arms, the warmth of her embrace enveloping you like a cocoon, a safe harbor amidst the chaos.
“Oh, love,” Reina whispered, her voice soft and soothing as she held you close, allowing you to bury your face in the crook of her neck. The comfort of her presence washed over you, momentarily dulling the edges of your pain. “What happened?” she asked gently, her hands stroking your hair, grounding you in the moment. You clung to her as if your life depended on it, the tears you had been holding back spilling over as you let the floodgates open.
“It’s Gen,” you choked out between sobs. “I’m so tired of her hot and cold behavior. One moment she loves me, and the next, I’m nothing but a burden to her. I just snapped! I told her I couldn’t take it anymore, and I…” Your words tumbled out in a rush, the raw honesty of your feelings spilling forth in a torrent that felt both terrifying and liberating.
Reina held you tighter, her body radiating warmth and support. “You did what you had to do,” she murmured, her voice a balm to your frayed nerves. “You stood up for yourself, and that takes courage. I’m so proud of you.” Her words wrapped around you, filling the void of despair that had threatened to consume you. You wanted to believe her, to find strength in her support, but the lingering fear of Gen’s wrath gnawed at the edges of your mind.
“I’m so scared, Reina,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “What if she retaliates? What if she finds out about us?” The weight of your secret hung heavily between you, the knowledge that your love was forbidden casting a shadow over your fragile moment of solace. “We can’t be together like this. It’s too dangerous.”
Reina’s eyes softened, filled with empathy and understanding. “I know, love. But you have to remember that you’re not alone in this. I’m here for you, no matter what. We’ll find a way to navigate this together, just like we always have.” Her words were a promise, a reminder that in this dark world, there was still a flicker of hope, a connection that could not be extinguished by Gen’s control.
As you melted into her embrace, the warmth of her body against yours felt like a shield against the storm outside. In that moment, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, to let go of the burdens you had carried for so long. You breathed in the scent of lavender, letting it fill your lungs, grounding yourself in the reality that for now, you were safe. But deep down, the shadow of Gen loomed large, a constant reminder that your love was a fragile thing, existing in a world that sought to tear it apart.
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uncanny-tranny · 7 months
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I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.
Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.
Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.
"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.
That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.
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70won · 9 months
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despite however many lovers johanna has in her lifetime, at the end of the day they never last. johanna never has a lifelong partner and part of it is because she will purposely push away someone she’s gotten too close to. after systematically losing everyone who’s ever meant anything to her, the fear and trauma never truly heal. it leads to many rounds of heartbreak but johanna doesn’t take it as being lonely. she comes to terms that it’s better to have loved and lost than not to have ever loved and the platonic love surrounding her is enough to keep her cup full
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ur-stepdad · 3 months
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internalized transphobia is fucked up. i started transitioning 6 years ago and there's still shit i'm only now starting to accept about myself
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 4 months
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#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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soft-serve-soymilk · 5 months
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Adventures in writing my English SAC, also known as 550 words of Theon being an angsty bitch,,
#just pav things#Sure I had to adapt some things like making his backstory a tad bit different to fit in the 50 minute timeframe I had to write#So rather than the pseudo time-travel there’s an alternative universe where all of his siblings become spiriters instead telethia-style#DOLPHIN DON’T SEARCH TELETHIA UP YOU WILL GET IMMEDIATELY SPOILED FOR XC1#Also I had to cut the lucid dreamer bit too because it wasn’t necessary to the plot#But it ended up being in the style of Bidngen which was one of the mentor texts we had to draw from#And I used the mandatory prompt of ✨ personal journeys ✨ to explore how violence begets violence#Theon shuns flowers as a sign of the destructive rich but at the end he says he’s a flower as well#Where he was once a victim of hatred he lashes out with the same hate against the spiriters#And so it covers his emotional journey in dealing with his trauma (badly) as well as his physical/temporal one :)#Also I wish I had more time to make his first-person voice actually. A child’s instead of it being ambiguous#He sounds like Inigo which Isn’t Wrong and it makes sense for him to be precocious but there’s a certain flamboyancy to his voice#And also Theon would not know this many big words. He is uneducated. Alas.#The problem with my first-person fiction despite my gravitas towards it is that#it’s hard to separate my authorial voice and vocab with my childrens’ 😅 in my eyes anyways#Probably why I still feel so disdainful for all of my past writing for YHNN. It doesn’t read right 😣#The only exception is any instances where I’ve written first-person pov for Archie which was most notably in my Yr 11 exams#We share the same whimsy ig ✨💯
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sysig · 1 year
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Mwah mwah mwah kissy kissy demon friend (Patreon)
#Doodles#LAC#Law Abiding Citizen#LAC Russ#Doug Peterson#Roug#Feeling so normal about them#So so so normal and not at all yearning and internalized bigotry and unhealthy coping mechanisms#Not even a little bit#Okay so that's pretty clearly a lie lol but I Can at least say that I didn't Expect it#I'll partially blame finally getting the first volume of KoiBo (❤️💖💕❤️💞💖) and thinking about Souichi's trauma#I swear I have a point it's not That tangential I just only subsist on parallels - anyone who's been following me for a while knows this lol#Specifically in reference to how his trauma manifests in aforementioned unhealthy coping mechanisms of lashing out and jfdlsafd#He's so interesting I Must dissect him#And then I was rewatching LAC around the same time so that mental vivisection vibe transferred onto LAC!Russ lol#He's not the most mmmmm level-headed well-adjusted person out there hehe#Him flying off the handle about smoking at some light prodding I just I'm feeling So Fucking Normal about it#I'm totally Not fixating on a minor character quirk and reading way too deeply into it lol#What does any of that have to do with them kissing?#:3c#So anyway they're still fun to draw canoodling lol#Doug is so curled around him hehe ♪ Holding him with his arms of course but also flattening his ear against Russ' arm and curling his tail#Hold him close so he doesn't go anywhere! He's so flighty!#Not that he looks all that inclined to leave atm lol#Been thinking about the ficlet I made with them all that while ago too I swear I am So normal about them right now lol
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vampiiric · 1 year
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i loved the new spiderverse but miguel is so funny when you think about it. yes hes sad but the whole reason he's an antagonist at all is that he assumes miles is a good person and gets REALLY mad about it. like hes not wrong but he's very angry about it
#he's a well written antihero imo and i hope we see more of him#like i really love how much he's guided by his past mistake and how he wants to protect people from the guilt he feels#but he's guided by that guilt !! and because he can't undo what he feels he did he wants to prevent it in the future#but he knows people are good and spidermen want to help people. thus why he's mad at miles. because miles doesn't know#so he just.... saves someone.#he doesnt know about canon events or timeline stability or anything he just sees people in need of help and someone who can't#help everyone. so he joins in. and he doesnt even think twice.#and one selfish action from miguel- one he thought would have no consequences- caused all of his guilt and his lashing out.#but miles didn't disrupt anything selfishly. sure hes not perfect hes 15 he wants to be independent. he wants a lot. but he's a kid!#as spider-man though- when he's being spider man instead of miles morales#there's not a selfish bone in his body when someone needs help. he saves someone he's never met just because he could.#i subscribe to the theory that the spot is causing the dimensions to break down instead of canon event disrupton#which informs a lot of my thoughts#but miguel seems to me like someone who is genuinely by all metrics a good person#who does what he thinks is right and if given the chance would sacrifice himself to save the universe he saw dissolve#but that doesnt make him right. that makes him someone who wants to fix something unfixable#who knows he can't#so in trying to 'fix' it by preventing it from ever happening again he becomes so obsessed with it it never leaves him#like we only see a bit of this and i'm extrapolating#and everyones interpretations are gonna be different#but like. he's an effective antihero because he is a good person who thinks that to cause overall good you have to do bad things#which is a really interesting mentality!#and he's someone who has allowed himself to become trapped in guilt. and he's lashing out about it.#honestly i want to see him and earth-42 miles interact. i want to see more earth 42 miles tbh. like that's the same miles!#but his circumstances were so different that he had to grow into someone entirely new.#i hope earth-42 miles gets to do good in his dimension and change things for the better#because. and im not a comics fan so feel free to correct me.#something at least movie miles has is so much passion and dedication to a cause. he's creative and smart#and earth-42 miles. i am entirely confident. has those too!! i want to see him flourish. i want to see him be his best self#thanks for coming to my tag ramble
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