#(not a vent but it is probably going to be annoying to read lol)

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[morphogenetic]

this readmore won't work without text here so there is text here

during this undergrad alumni dinner thing, there was a conversation I was only really listening to and not actively participating in, but two people were talking about how in order to make friends in new places you kind of have to share a common thing and then you'll form friendships and......while that's not NOT true, they were definitely talking about it in a casual friendship way and not a deep lifelong permanent friendship way and it was taking everything in my body to just go THATS NOT A FRIEND THOSE ARE CLOSE ACQUAINTANCES STOOOOP ITTT.

every time I listen to 99% of people talk I realize the vast majority of the humans around me have incredibly low standards for friendship &it just makes me sad. if you're not comfortable enough to just hang out and watch TV/random YT vids with each other then you ARE NOT FRIENDS. sometimes you're not even friends if you DO do that depending on the context (see : roommate).

maybe I just have super high standards lol but like. i don't even call some IRL people (who i've known for LITERALLY YEARS) who I think are cool my friends. we are definitely close acquaintances but would i willingly hang out w them on a weekly basis if we lived nearby? Doubt

[wildemaven]

he makes life better | joel miller

-> pairing: no outbreak!joel miller x reader

-> word count: 1335

-> content warning: 18+ blog; bad day, annoyed with work, dealing with flat tire, joel being sweet, lots of fluff

-> note: this is for my sweet friend @gnpwdrnwhiskey hoping this brings a smile to her face 💞 this isn’t beta’d either so it’s probably filled with mistakes lol.

masterlist

Joel ❤️: How’s your day going Honey?

I’m so ready for my shift to be over. I’d rather read the dictionary, front to back, than deal with the shit they have me doing today. 

RING

“That bad, huh?” Joel’s voice brings you an instant smile when you answer his call, silently stepping away from the mess that you were dealing with at work. 

“You have no idea. It already feels like it’s been the longest week, today has just added to the shit show life keeps throwin’ at me lately. Went to leave for work this morning and I had a flat tire. Ugh! I’m sorry for complaining.” You vent to him, tucking yourself in a secluded corner. You were going against policy by taking a personal call while on the clock, but you didn’t care about company policy or the outcome of you were to get caught at the moment— Joel was your only focus right now. 

“Hey, none of that. Don’t apologize for being stressed. Why didn’t ya call me ‘bout your tire?” Joel asked. 

You know he would’ve dropped everything the minute did call him, which is also why you didn’t. He had been stressing over starting at a new job site, one of the biggest ones he had been hired for. The last thing you wanted was to add to his already busy day of things he had to deal with. 

“You’d already left for work and had that new job you’ve been talkin’ about. Didn’t wanna bother you with it. I called AAA and had them put the spare on for me so I could drop it off at the tire shop. Now, I’m unexpectedly the owner of 4 new tires.” 

“I don’t care how busy I am— you need something, you call me, no matter what. Got that, Honey?” 

“Got it, Joel. Thank you.” You smile into the phone at his concern for you, always finding ways to make you fall even deeper in love with him. 

“Good. Hey, I gotta go. Tommy looks like he’s about ready to break his back. I should probably go help him before he actually does and my insurance takes a hit. I’ll see ya tonight then, sweetheart?” 

“Yeah. I should be outta here in 3 hours.” The end to your long shift, almost over. 

“That sounds great! I love you, Honey. I’ll see ya later.” You can faintly hear Tommy cursing in the background. 

“Love you too, Joel.” You tell him before the line goes dead. Giving yourself a few minutes of quiet before heading back to join your team and the never ending line of customers. 

The rest of your shift goes by fairly quickly. Joel’s phone call must have been just the moral boost you needed to sprinkle a little bit of extra positivity into your day.

The minute the clock hit 5 pm, you wasted no time clocking out and logging out of your computer for the day. Deliberately bypassing your usual exit path to avoid any chatty coworkers, Joel and home your main focus of the rest of your day, you weren’t going to waste any time stuck in drawn out conversations. 

Your purse thrown over your shoulder, work apron crumpled in one hand and the other holding your empty tumbler that once held the warm delicious coffee you had hoped would sustain you through the day, now wishing it was filled with something a little stronger to help you unwind when you got home. 

It’s a struggle trying to juggle your things as you search for your keys, lost somewhere in the depths of your purse along with the rest of your life's necessities. You pause in the middle of an empty parking space near where your jeep is parked to give the search your full attention. After some thorough digging, you locate your keys and let out an exasperated sigh, one step closer to being home. 

Taking a step forward as you press the unlock button on your key, you look up to see an unexpected sight. A familiar truck in the parking spot next to yours, and the most handsome man leaning on it. He looks like he came straight from the job sight, too. His peppered grey hair disheveled, but his soft curls were still intact even after a long day. The sleeves of your favorite green flannel are rolled up over his flexed forearms that are crossed against his chest, the fabric stretched over his broad shoulders. 

The sight of him is enough to melt away any of the bullshit you had endured over the past week, a completely welcomed surprise. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask him, letting your feet carry you the rest of the way to him. 

“Heard you were havin’ a shitty day. Couldn’t let my lady end it on a bad note.” He croons, pushing himself off the side of his truck, opening his arms to you. 

You melt into him, your face nestled into his shoulder. His rugged scent of musky vanilla and natural pheromones is permanently infused into the fibers of his shirt, it’s your favorite thing ever. His strong arms wrap around you as he presses a soft kiss to your temple, prompting you to straighten up, looking into his amber eyes. 

“Hi, Cowboy.” You beam at him. 

“Hi.” He says, leaning in to gently mold his lips over yours. “I’ve got a surprise for ya, Honey.” 

“This was enough of a surprise for me. What more could I need?” Stealing another kiss from him. 

“If I tell ya, it won’t be a surprise then, will it?” He says, tilting his head slightly as he looks at you. 

“I guess you have a point.” 

“We’ve gotta get going though, it’s time sensitive.” He grabs for your things and walks you around to the passenger door, holding it open as you climb in. “We’ll grab your jeep in the mornin’, if that’s okay with you?” 

“Whatever you say, Cowboy.” He leans back in for another kiss, before making his way around into the driver’s seat. 

*

The drive isn’t long. Down some familiar roads that lead to a dirt one off the main highway. His truck travels down the gravel road lined with a barbed wire fence. After a few minutes he’s pulling off to the side and killing the engine. 

“You brought me to my favorite place.” Looking over to his side of the truck, where he’s already looking in your direction. Your heart grows at how he thought to bring you here, knowing how much joy it brings you every time. 

“Thought you could use it. Look, here they come.” He says pointing to your window. 

Off in the distance, the small herd of cows were in pursuit of their evening meal and water break. Mamas with their little rambunctious calves trailing behind, trekking along the same path they travel each evening. 

It’s a calming sight. Their heads bobbling with each dramatic step. Tails whipping over their rear ends to swat away the annoying flies. A few stopping mid trek to look in your direction, letting out a long drawn out moo. Their friendly hello, it’s good to see you again, then back on the move. 

The sky is painted in pinks and purples as the sun dips below the horizon. Your day feeling less shitty as you sit silently in the cab of Joel’s truck. His hand resting on your thigh while his thumb draws soft circles over thick denim seam. 

“Thank you for this. Didn’t realize how much I needed it. I love you, Joel.” You tell him, rolling your head over the headrest in his direction. 

“I did it because I love you, Honey. And s’what I’m here for.” There’s a low rumble in the air as he turns the key over, shifting the truck into drive. “Now, how ‘bouts we head on home and I spend the rest of the evenin’ show you all the other ways I love you?”

“Take me home, Cowboy.” 

[lemurzsquad]

Hand Sanitizer

Pairing: Sakusa x gn!reader (platonic or romantic, up to interpretation)

Summary: You and Sakusa hate each other with a passion, and it's almost always a disagreement over hand sanitizer. So when you leave to wash your hands and don't come back, Sakusa learns why exactly you avoid using it so adamantly.

A/N: Okay so this fic. Hooooo boy. This fic. I've been wanting to write it for a while and finally have. It started as a "Reasons why I'm pretty sure Sakusa would hate me irl" and turned into this.

So I have a skin condition known as aquagenic wrinkling of the palms (or AWP), which affects my hands when they come in contact with water, which is what this fic is about. I never hear about this condition anywhere, and it's very lonely sometimes, and there's no real treatment for it (from what I've seen). So this is essentially a vent where I take my skin condition seriously for once instead of just making water allergy jokes to cope lol

(More info about AWP here)

Word count: 3898

cw: skin condition (non-graphic descriptions and discussion) (AWP - please read above), hurt/comfort, angst, crying, enemies to friends...?, emotionally constipated apologies from Sakusa, hand sanitizer is evil /j, vent, not proofread because I just wanted to get this done and posted to do literally anything else, (please lmk if I should tag anything else)

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and everything written here is purely from my own experiences and observations. If you would like to learn more, please do your own research; this is not designed to be informative. It's purely for myself and for awareness.)

You and Sakusa had never gotten along.

You were certain you knew when it started, having been completely oblivious of one another up until that point.

It was when you were both first years in high school, and there happened to be a lizard in the classroom. You, upon seeing it, immediately proceeded to pick it up and ask the teacher to let you put it outside, to which they agreed.

You came back to the classroom, dusting off your hands, when a curly-haired boy took it upon himself to comment, “Go use some hand sanitizer, would you?”

You squinted at him, partly confused as to why he was talking to you and how you had never noticed he sat there before. “No thanks,” you answered, “I'd rather just wash my hands.”

“I don't think just washing your hands would be enough,” he rebutted with a sharp look behind his bangs. “You probably don't even know how to properly wash your hands.”

“Well, too bad! I'm not using hand sanitizer!” You were starting to get annoyed, crossing your arms.

Somehow, that seemed to make him even more disgusted, possibly at the thought that you were spreading whatever it was on your hands onto your clothes now, too.

The two of you threw jabs back and forth until the teacher separated you, which you were both happy to oblige. The animosity between you never seemed to quite dissipate even as the year went on and you became second years. You almost felt bad for the misunderstanding, knowing it was entirely your own fault, but how were you supposed to explain to this random kid that you couldn't use hand sanitizer even if you wanted to? At least, in your head you couldn't.

At some point, you and Sakusa became something of enemies within your class—renowned ones, at that. People would often ask the both of you why you hated each other so much, but your answers were vague at best.

“He's just so pretentious,” you said once.

“They're just so obstinate,” he said once.

And thus, an impasse stretched between you. You hadn't even learned his name until months after your first encounter, too bitter to really care.

Despite the efforts you both went through to avoid being within the presence of the other, you somehow still ended up nearby. Maybe it was your teachers attempting to make you get along—maybe it was the universe laughing in your face.

Throughout that entire time, you still faithfully avoided hand sanitizer like the plague. The one time the nearest bathroom was out of order for a little while and you couldn't wash your hands, you used as little of the accursed substance as you could. Whatever microscopically thin layer that coated your hands there was, you shook it off almost violently, simultaneously disgusted by the feeling of something on your skin and afraid of what it might do.

The disapproving look Sakusa gave you when he saw that was palpable.

At some point, you hated each other mostly out of principle. You'd both kept it up this long—it would be weird to suddenly just let it go since your flimsy justifications seemed enough until now. To admit that you were being unreasonable would be worse than getting along, you separately reasoned.

So when you were paired up for a project, you couldn't help but grimace. Sakusa was the first to go up to the teacher about it.

“I can't work with them,” you heard him say. For once, you agreed with him.

The teacher, however, dismissed his concerns with a wave, saying, “In life, you don't get to pick who you work with. Sometimes you'll have to try to put aside your differences to get your work done.”

It sounded stupid to you, like some half-hearted excuse so they wouldn't have to rearrange seating or partners. But it's not like you had any place to argue, so you resigned to just sucking it up.

Instead of working together, you both divvied up tasks as quickly as possible and did what you assigned yourselves—separately.

All was going well; you ignored each other and worked on the project silently. Despite other groups discussing their plans and the room being filled with chatter, your share corner was dead silent save the sound of pen on paper.

Which didn't last long when suddenly the tip of your pen snapped off. The now open ink tube spilled onto your hands, and when you tried to minimize the damage, it only got worse. By the time you dropped the pen onto your open notebook, raising your hands in surrender, they were absolutely coated in black splotches. A sense of defeat washed over you as you watched your words get covered and your paper stained in ebony.

Taking a moment to glance at your already ruined hands, you just resigned to picking up the pen and throwing it out. It was your favorite pen, which was unfortunate. It couldn't be helped, you told yourself.

Sakusa had noticed you flailing about your desk, silently judging you for the clumsy mess you made when you should have just thrown out the pen the second it broke to avoid the noir crime scene that now covered you and your area. He scowled knowing you would now have to redo whatever you had written for the project.

It was nearing the end of school, the class you were currently in being the final one of the day. You approached the teacher's table and asked if you could go wash your hands. They checked the clock to see about twenty minutes left before replying, “Make it quick.”

You walked past Sakusa's desk on your way to the door. He made the snide remark, “You could get the ink off really well with hand sanitizer.”

It took everything in you not to snap back at him, but you just hurried past, careful not to touch anything on the way out.

Sakusa knew he would never understand you. From the moment you met, you stubbornly refused what seemed to be basic courses of action. Touch something dirty? Use hand sanitizer. Eating? Wash your hands before and after to keep from touching anything.

The couple of times he had seen you wash your hands, it was very brief, and you seemed to avoid using the air dryer, opting for paper towels that were arguably undoing whatever progress you made in washing your hands.

At the same time, you avoided any task that would require you to touch dust or water. You always asked to sweep or clean windows, so much so that everyone just ended up giving you those tasks to get you to stop asking. If you did get something on your hands, you immediately wiped or shook it off, seemingly disgusted. You would even briefly run it under water just to dry it on your clothes so they weren't wet. It seemed there were things worse than water if you were willing to rinse them off.

But it was still that one avoidance that came between you: the hand sanitizer. It was practically the same as water, and it dried quickly. Even if it was comparable to washing your hands, it was still much more convenient in most scenarios. Yet you continued to adamantly refuse to ever use it. At some point you declared, “I would rather die,” when he had tried to squeeze some on your hand, earning him his wrist grabbed and pushed away. 

He just didn't understand.

So when he found you sobbing in front of the stairs, opening your hands and clenching them closed into loose fists repeatedly, he was beyond confused.

You hadn't come back to class after leaving to wash the remnants of your broken pen, so the teacher decided it was your project partner, Sakusa, who should find you and return the belongings you left behind. He went over to your open notebook that remained just where you left it and noted the handful of words that were still visible. 

Sakusa folded the cover over, enclosing the now dried puddle of ink. The remainder of your things he scooped into his arms, leaving the room once the halls had cleared a significant amount. As much as he wanted to just leave your things and go to volleyball practice, he figured it would end poorly.

Plus, what could possibly have kept you out of class for so long that you would have left everything behind? There was no way it had taken that long to get most of the ink off of your skin, so either you had just skipped the last bit of school or something happened. Since you hadn't taken your wallet with you with your IDs (he checked your bag when he put the notebook back inside, sure that it was completely dry), he reasoned it was probably the latter.

“Tsk.” They would have been able to get it off with hand sanitizer, he thought, brows furrowed. This is such a waste of time.

Sakusa wandered through the halls when he didn't find you by the bathrooms. He was starting to think it was a lost cause trying to return your bag; he even had to text his cousin to tell him why he would be late. It wasn't until he got to a particularly empty hallway did he hear something.

Quietly, in a dark alcove with a set of stairs leading up, a figure was huddled against a wall. Their tears were soft but anguished, stifled because it was in the environment of school. Sakusa had tried to ignore them until he realized it was you.

You held your palms up just past your knees that were pressed against your chest. You opened and closed your hands, a fresh cascade of tears painting your cheeks as you choked back a sob. You pressed—with more pressure than could have been painful—your thumb into the center of your other palm, nails digging into the back of your hand. You set your closed eyes on your knees with the hope that it might stop the water that leaked from them.

Sakusa, with great caution, approached your hunched figure. He didn't want to, he really didn't. You were the person he probably hated the most at his school, but somehow he knew he'd seem like an awful person if he didn't at least give your belongings to you directly—he wouldn't give you the satisfaction of another thing to hold over his head.

And yet those thoughts went to the back of his mind when he crouched down in front of you. His mask and curly hair obscured his focused expression as he tried to study your current state. The moment you seemed to hear him there, you held your breath and repressed your already quiet cries.

When Sakusa got close, you buried yourself further in to hide your face behind your knees and clenched your hands even more.

He frowned and something in his chest tightened. His brows furrowed deeper over his eyes and he huffed. He saw your nails digging into the skin on the backs of your hands.

“That's going to leave a mark if you keep doing that.” It came out more biting than he had meant it, but he was being serious.

It was then that you could no longer hold back your sobs, almost choking on your own tears. The grip you had of your hands softened and unlinked; instead, you lightly shook them apart from each other. Sakusa had to take a moment to process, but it almost seemed like there was something wrong with them. 

He just wanted to get you to stop crying so he could give you your bag. As much as he hated the gesture, he asked, “What's wrong with your hands?”

You curled your lips in to bite down on them, fighting back hiccups. With your eyes tightly screwed shut, you upturned your palms.

The sight alone made Sakusa's eyebrows fly up in shock. 

He didn't mean to, but he grabbed your wrist to get a better look. Ignoring the ink stains that faintly persisted, there were pale, patchy splotches in the center of your palm and on the side edges of your fingers; there were even some tiny pale rings on the periphery of the bigger splotches. But underneath that, the skin seemed as if it had soaked in water for hours or maybe even days. Not only were there dozens of deep crevice lines trailing from the tips of all of your fingers to their bases but the lines on your palms were more prominent, surrounded by profound, dense wrinkles that spanned the entire surface.

His eyes darted around your hand for a few moments just trying to comprehend what he was looking at. It looked unnatural—it looked painful. And when he met your gaze, he saw unidentifiable emotions flash across it. Was it shame? Regret? He couldn't be sure aside from the blood that seemed to drain from your face.

You tried to pull your hand away, but Sakusa wouldn't let go. His eyes never left yours, searching for some kind of answer. When he couldn't find it there, he asked, “What happened?” It was soft, calm, and even, enough to make you tear up a little again.

The second time you tugged, he released your wrist. You pushed your thumb into your palm again, looking away. Hiding your hands away in the space between your stomach and where your legs were still tucked against your torso, you sniffled a few times and tried to even out your breathing.

“I-It's normal… it just h-happens when I-I touch water…” You stuttered and mumbled between hiccups.

“That is not normal,” Sakusa said a little too quickly and curtly, realizing it probably would have made it seem like he was berating you.

With another sniffle, you said, “It's a– it's a skin condition.” You started to scratch your palms partly out of stress and partly out of the persistent stinging. “It reacts to water i-if I touch it for too long.”

His eyebrows knitted in concern. “Was that from washing your hands then?”

You gave a small nod, still avoiding his gaze. “I couldn't get the ink off and ended up w-washing them for too long…”

“You could have just used hand sanitizer,” he said genuinely. For the moment, he almost forgot he was supposed to hate you, more focused on being worried than anything.

Your answer was your head shaking rather fervently. “No, I can't.” You lowered to set your forehead against your knees again. “Well, actually, I don't know. I-It just scares me and I don't want to r-risk any more pain than I already have. I haven't h-had good experiences with it…”

“What did hand sanitizer ever do to you?” It came out snarkier than Sakusa had meant. He slowly lowered himself to sit with his legs crossed in front of you, your bag still next to him.

You let out a heavy breath. “I was a dumb kid in elementary,” you started. “I had an obsession with scented hand sanitizer for probably a few months. I used it multiple times a day, and even though I don't know for sure if it's related, my hands got worse after that year I think. Only after that did I finally go to the doctor to get it diagnosed after my mom did a ton of research. I agreed to avoid hand sanitizer from then on. I just don't want to risk being in more pain…”

You both went silent.

“Oh…” It was all that left Sakusa's lips. A sudden wave of guilt crashed into him. All of the times he had berated you for not using hand sanitizer and all of his snide, rude, annoyed remarks resurfaced in his conscience. He felt terrible. He felt bad. Someone was hurting and all he did was throw lighter fluid on their problems—for months—and it seemed there was finally a spark to set it all ablaze. The thought that he started it all made it worse.

“Stop with whatever weird look you have on your face.” You squinted at him and his downturned, scrunched face. You'd calmed down enough to be making quips, it would appear. “It's not like I can do anything about it.” You shrugged, half-hearted.

He searched your face again for any sign of emotion aside from blank resignation, but he couldn't find anything. “Is there no treatment?”

You shrunk down further into your huddle, not vocally answering, but the answer was still clear.

Something about the whole situation made his heart hurt; it made him upset, he realized. “So what, you just have to avoid water?”

The nod of your head to the side looked pathetic as you avoided his eyes. After several seconds of silence, you said, “I used to love swimming. It's not like I can't, it's just… it hurts and it makes me feel gross. I don't even like the beach anymore because if I go in the water and get my hands wet, there's no real place to dry them off.” You laughed humorlessly. “It's stupid. You'd think I would get more used to it and get over it as I got older, but it just made me more upset. Why me? Why did I have to get stuck with a condition that's rare and isn't really bad enough for people to care enough to find a treatment? At least, it feels that way…

“I know it's awful, but I sometimes wonder, ‘Why didn't I get stuck with something worse? Then I might have a way to treat it. Then people might care.’”

You glanced up to judge Sakusa's reaction, instantly regretting spilling your feelings and questioning why you did. Tears threatened to flood over again and spill from your eyes. You felt helpless; not only from your condition but also from being stared down by the person you were certain despised you more than anyone. You were giving him more ammo to be disgusted and to detest you, too.

But you couldn't find his face. His ebony bangs hung down like a curtain and his mask further obscured your view, his downturned line of sight completely blocked out.

When the silence was beginning to crawl around on your skin and became almost deafening, you took in a sharp breath and held it for a moment before breathing out a tiny apology. “Sorry… you don't wanna hear about this…”

“No.”

“...No? No… what?”

“No…” 

Sakusa was struggling to get out the right words. How does he say sorry to you in a way that you might actually believe? How does he tell you that you're allowed to be upset, that you can talk about it? How does he make you understand that it's okay?

And how is he supposed to get you to believe it when it's coming from him?

His voice sounded almost angry but not at you—it was for you. “You can be upset,” he said between gritted teeth, hands clenched into tight fists. “No one deserves to have to live everyday avoiding something so common just to not be in pain. And no one deserves to have some jerk constantly making light of it even if they don't know.”

The way your eyes widened and water dripped down your cheeks in sudden streams said it all. “Oh…” was all you could muster before you completely broke down. No one you had ever told about your condition had seemed to fully grasp how much you were hurting inside, how every day was a struggle to avoid reminding yourself of how awful your hands were, how even looking at your own hands sometimes made you ashamed and loathing of yourself. It was a constant reminder that there would always be something wrong with you; you would always be broken, and there was no way to fix it.

Sakusa let you cry with the renewed emotional rush. He remained firmly planted where he sat, not moving an inch. He was not going anywhere.

And he didn't, even as your sobbing slowed to quiet sniffles and wiping mostly dried tears. It took a while before you finally muttered, “Thank you… No one's ever said that to me before…”

“Well, they should.” His words were curt but lacked any sharpness to them.

When you looked up to meet his eyes, he turned them away from you. Hesitantly, he uttered, “Look, I can't promise you that we'll get along, but I can assure you I'll try not to bother you anymore. No more stupid hand sanitizer comments anymore, either.” It was the only peace offering he could make for a chance to pave a path towards making amends.

You let out a breath through your nose that was close to a laugh before hiccuping, “Next thing you know, you'll be telling me we'll work on our group project together.”

“Don't push it,” he answered, quickly and humorlessly. It only made you laugh, although he couldn't comprehend why.

“It's getting late,” Sakusa tried to divert. “You should head home.”

You reached for your phone, and the little numbers on the screen confirmed his statement. Suddenly, a flash of panic crossed your face. “I don't have my bag,” you state frantically, “or any of my stuff.”

It was then that Sakusa held up the original object of his search for you, gently lowering it to the ground. “The teacher told me to bring it to you since you never came back.”

Relief washed over you in a calming rush, and you finally seemed to relax. You pulled your knees away from your chest and sat with your legs crossed. Confirming that everything was in your bag, an immensely relieved sigh left your lips in a gust.

“Thank you.” Your gaze was earnest, trying to convey just how much you meant your words to make sure it sunk in.

Sakusa just grumbled, “Whatever.” He was back to his usual self despite how he stumbled embarrassingly when he got up and realized his legs had gone numb. He reluctantly offered up his hand to help you stand, but you only looked at it for a moment, mouth pressed into a line, before you got to your feet on your own.

He pretended he hadn't tried to assist you, instead pivoting on his heels and shoving his hands in his pockets with a slouched posture. Without another word exchanged, you both headed towards the school's entrance.

The air fell into a comfortable quiet until then. When you did reach the entrance, however, you both stopped in your tracks. You turned to Sakusa, giving him a soft smile and a small wave, and headed down the street. Only when you turned the corner, out of sight, did he head back towards the volleyball gym. He was so horribly beyond late that it was almost laughable.

But he didn't care, knowing it meant someone was there in that very moment for you when you needed it most. So what if he also started to mend whatever nonexistent relationship was there in the process? What mattered was that someone told you that it was okay.

And Sakusa was okay with that. Being late to practice wasn't nearly as pressing as his long overdue apologies. What could be more important than that?

Do not copy and/or repost!! Any likes or reblogs are appreciated, though! (c) 2024 LemurzSquad

[ironunderstands]

AAAAAAAAA

Genuinely I feel annoying as fuck for saying this but like I can’t stand the way anybody else but me or my mutuals writes Aventio/Ratiorine 90% of the time

So, to vent my frustration, here’s a not in order at all bulleted list of stuff I absolutely despise when seeing content of them. This is not to call ppl out or anything, I just wanna rant about my preferences lol

oh and cw: mentions of slavery, nsfw, suicidal tendencies and non-con

-one or both of them being way to horny/flirty

Maybe this could work in content with an established relationship, but like, these guys don’t fuck, I’m sorry, they don’t. They are the biggest virgin losers ever regardless of if they have had sex in the past or not. Some of yall don’t get that they were acting in Penacony for the most part and Aventurine’s flirtiness didn’t have any weight behind it, he was really just messing with Ratio. I think if he were seriously trying to court Ratio, he’d probably be LESS flirty, but that’s just me. I understand why people make nsfw of them without any kinda buildup because well it’s fun, but for me personally I don’t really like it 90% of the time, however I fully get this is a me thing. I can tolerate it more in fanart bc well it’s fanart so yeah there’s not gonna be 3000k words of lore behind it, but like if I’m reading a fic and Aventio go from not even being in a relationship to having sex on a whim it just confuses me.

-yandere anything

I despise this trope already but it makes me 100000x more annoyed because holy shit neither of them would be a yandere I get it some people like this but WHYY THEMMM it doesn’t make sense. Yandere Aventurine makes me even more mad bc why the fuck would he make someone suffer like he did when he was younger???

-emotionless Ratio

Idk why half the community treats Ratio like he’s an unfeeling logic robot who’s sole goal is knowledge even when the game beats you over the head about how he’s the exact fucking opposite of that, but honestly I think this is just a symptom of the fact that a lot of ratiorine writers don’t give two fucks about him at all and he’s practically written as a plot device for Aventurine’s characterization.

-misunderstanding why Ratio is a tsundere

I’ve seen a lot of people misinterpret how and why Ratio is a tsundere towards Aventurine, citing it as if he doesn’t want to be associated with him/looks down upon him/is ashamed to like him when that’s really not true at all. Ratio respects and cares about Aventurine a hell of a lot, and he isn’t shy at all to show it when it’s necessary (see DSAIWYTBOL or the “if you can’t hold on any longer then tell me”). However, the reason he pushes away Aventurine isn’t exactly personal (although Aventurine’s closeness to him is part of the reason why).

Rather, Ratio tends to downplay his close relationships a lot, likely as a defense mechanism, as he admits himself that he isn’t good with people in one of the dialogue options with trailblazer for the express visits. Now why he is this way is a subject of speculation because Ratio rarely ever talks about himself, and the only character who actually has a voiceline on him is Aventurine himself, so it’s very hard to get an outside perspective on him. His character stories don’t really help that much either, as they are more about his personal philosophy and journey in life rather than his personality.

However, taking what Ratio says towards Aventurine at face value when he has proven the opposite (especially considering how the trope of the tsundere is kinda centered on the character in question spouting bullshit) results in people completely misunderstanding their relationship which can get REALLY annoying. Ratio doesn’t think Aventurine is an idiot in the slightest, he just worries about how his methods put himself in danger, not his capabilities.

-fast burn

You’re telling me these emotionally constipated idiots will get together easily? No. There’s a reason I write the most crazy bullshit happening to them before a confession scene and that’s because that’s the only way you can get them to confront their goddamn feelings quickly.

-slavery aus/anything like this

Self explanatory. If you have fetishized Aventurine’s past or made stuff like this please stay 1000 feet away from me at all times or block me. Thank you 🙏

-babying Aventurine

He’s one of the most competent members of the cast, but somehow people act like his breakdown scene in 2.1 is how he behaves 24/7 when that isn’t true at all. Aventurine is incredibly smart, and single-handedly clawed his way to the top. He does not need Ratio to save him. Would he appreciate Ratio’s support? Of course, and he definitely needs loving relationships in his life, but Aventurine isn’t a damsel in distress and not everything in his life is miserable and related to his trauma.

-or the horrible reverse of babying Aventurine: his trauma doesn’t exist actually and he’s perfectly fine/ they write him like it never happened

This one is rather rare and it has overlap with a few of the other points (seriously I’m gonna tweak out the next time someone writes the character who is implied to have survived sex trafficking being a person who would even dream of crossing others boundaries). Usually this happens because people treat Aventurine’s playboy mask as if it’s his actual personality and not traits he picked up to survive and succeed at his goals, and while admittedly even Aventurine is losing track of where the mask ends and he begins, some of y’all take it wayy to far even going on to unironically call him a fuckboy when he’s anything but that. The thing is, I think this happens when people erase who Kakavasha is from their minds, and act as if that side of Aventurine is a purely innocent child and all the “bad” parts of him are part of Aventurine’s mask. However, that’s not true, and Aventurine’s most admirable traits ARE Kakavasha’s. His strategicness, his intellegence, his bravery, these are all traits he possessed long before becoming Aventurine of stratagems, something which he demonstrated when he for example got his sisters neckless back, or made that bet with his first enslaver.

Aventurine’s purity and Aventurine’s capabilities are not separated between Kakavasha and Aventurine of Stratagems, both of those qualities ARE Kakavasha’s so if you are going to write him with the mask off, you have to write BOTH, not give into one or the other.

The things I tend to drop when writing him with the mask off are his false compliments and niceties, acting like he really gives a shit about the IPC’s goals, turning down the flamboyance and cockiness to reasonable levels and making him seem less like he’s playing pretend. Honestly I don’t think it’s that hard yet this is still a pitfall I see a lot of people stumbling into.

-Ratio talking like a goddamn encyclopedia

I understand he’s like that sometimes, but he also is well versed in internet lingo and seriously nobody unironically talks like that 24/7 because it’s pointless, and Ratio doesn’t use big words to seem smart, he uses them when they are necessary.

Like I’m sorry but if they are in a middle of having sex and unprompted Ratio starts talking like a biology textbook I’m closing the fic and running around my room screaming BECAUSE GOD IS IT CRINGE. Promoted it can be funny because yeah I can see him doing that but oh my god HE WOULD NOT SAY THAT I don’t even want to give an example it pisses me off that bad but trust me it’s a common phenomenon AND I HATE IT

-Aventurine trying to kill himself 24/7

He isn’t an active suicide risk every goddamn day of his life, he’s just self destructive and those are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

Yes, he tested if you could die in the dreamscape several times, but that’s because one of the favorable outcomes for his mission WOULD BE DYING in the dreamscape. He’s not doing this during a normal work week and even if I believe he still has suicidal tendencies, he’s not gonna throw his life away randomly or over nothing

-Ratio holds authority over Aventurine in any capacity

No, just no. Like the only other thing he might have over him is being intelligent, although they both are smart at different things so even then does it matter? Like I’m sorry but normal human with the ability to float and make imaginary constructs versus LITERAL FUCKING STONEHEART is not a fair fight on Ratio’s end. It doesn’t matter that he’s physically larger than Aventurine, muscles don’t mean shit in a sci-fi setting, especially when your opponent can just summon 3 bajillion coins to drop into your head at a whim and there’s nothing you can do about it. Not like Aventurine would ever dream of hurting him, of course, but seriously people need to stop acting like their different in stature really means anything. Even in terms of position, Aventurine probably outranks him so this false sense of authority people apply to Ratio in their relationship is confusing at best.

Hmm, well that’s all the things I remember to bitch about although I probably have more complaints. To be fair, whenever they aren’t written like incredibly smart people who are idiots hopelessly in love with one another when together I pop a blood vessel so most of these (besides THAT one) are non issues and if you have made/enjoyed these don’t feel ashamed because of my opinions. I needed to let out my inner grinch every once and awhile, so thanks for reading

[mushroominaforest]

Mushroom rambles!!!!!!! (vaguely vent-ish? idk man its 1:30am)

I'm sorry for all my venting and complaining as of late, I know it's probably annoying to some, and worrying to others. for me, Tumblr is the space where I can just chill and be myself, but also the one place where i can throw all my messy feelings out into the world, without being scared.

I have this habit of bottling stuff up, but i don't have to do that here. I'm not allowed to go to therapy, i used to vent in the notes app on my phone, and in journals, but i stopped (way back in like, grade 7 or 8 lol) when i found out that they were being read, along with all my text messages. I love my irl friends, but theres some stuff i just cant tell them. I talk to them a lot, and i trust them, but I'm still gonna tell them that i got that black eye from running into a pole lmao.

But on this account, only one person I know irl actually is aware that i have a tumblr. It's safe. If I'm discovered, I'm dead. but i think its worth it. cause i love it here! I have friends, ppl like my art, I have a place where i can be my authentic, weird, emotional self and im not gonna get in trouble for it.

So yeah, im sorry that i vent a lot i just feel safe here, and as much as i hate to admit it, you guys were right. Bottling up your feelings does suck lol

Anywaysssss my mental breakdown has turned into a weird happyish feeling but I think i might be going crazy instead of being genuinely happy. But who cares, i feel fine!!!!!

[singeart]

Okayy we got a Voyager science officer cosplay to make, here(wa)s the plan:

Using an existing pattern I found on etsy, I made adjustments based on vibes reference pictures of Janeway from Night and seeing what other people have made before (shout out to thresholdbb I was Looking at their past cosplays).

Treksona presentation to illustrate the changes I made~

Half the battle was decoding what the vintage pattern instructions were trying to tell me 🤡 but eventually with the help of the internet and my mom on call I figured out each step!

Oh and I had to learn how to iron and how the whole dang sewing machine worked, oiling it, threading the bobbin and needle, I even took apart the foot pedal at one point because I thought it wasn't working lol.

The mockups below, I made one out of Swedish tracing paper and the next one out of cotton (curtains I thrifted) after confirming that it would probably fit:

Turned out pretty good but I decided to move the front seams over just a bit...

Laying out the final pattern:

Cutting out the final pieces was really exciting it was starting to look like something!!

Detail shots below... I didn't feel like I could get the crispness I wanted for the shoulder points with the machine so I did it by hand :')

The shoulder pads were very exciting to put in as well!! I asked the person at JoAnn what the difference was between the two different shoulder pads I had picked up and they said one was more 80s power suit-- that was definitely the one I wanted for this jacket hehe

The final jacket below with a top I found on ebay (also found boots from there)!!! I ended up putting the sleeves in with a machine and ummm there's some puckering I'm trying not to be annoyed about h a h a. I may go back and fix that eventually I don't know... The invisible zipper I got didn't work either so I need to replace that somehow too hrm.

Anyway, I thrifted pants because I didn't want to tackle a whole other piece; I just added fabric to the bottom because they were a smidge short and then cut the iconic vent.

Here's the jacket on me, taken with a weird camera angle so the shoulders are a bit wonky at the edges haha but look!! I lined everything up so well!!

(comm badge and pips from etsy)

I felt ready to go hop on a ship sign me up for first contact I'm ready 🫡

Awright Lessons I Learned:

sewing projects take much much longer than anticipated (I went to stsf and was sewing licherally the night before and morning of. I know it's the convention experience but I was a tad stressed lol)

hand sewing in particular takes forever but I enjoyed it!

people are right to complain about setting in sleeves what da hell was that

flannel (what I used for the black part because it matched the pants the best) was great to work with

linen (the best teal they had in the store) was not!! doesn't iron well, doesn't sew well I don't want to use it ever again <3

this was my first sewing project Ever and I still was pretty hard on myself e h e..........much to think about...

Final words of wisdom from my mom:

Back to the Scully blouse soon!! After a little break :) Thanks for reading!

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 32

welcome to the thirty-second fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. A Dragon’s Treasure by @wittyy-name

As heir to the kingdom, Lance always thought he knew exactly what life had in store for him. That is, until a dragon kidnaps him at the age of sixteen. Suddenly his life is a lot less parties, lessons, and castles, and a hell of a lot more barren mountains, grumpy dragons, and boredom. From heir to prize, in just one night.

So now he’s stuck living in a cave with an adolescent, grumpy dragon who doesn’t seem to want him there but still won’t let him go. Not to mention his annoying habit of defeating every suitor who tries to come rescue Lance.

As much as he hates to admit it, he’s probably going to be here for a while. So he might as well settle in and get to know this dragon named Keith.

i accidentally lied last week this one is the last one from my rereadables collection. and for good reason!! dragon beauty and the beast tbh. and wittyy-name ALWAYS nails the complicated i-love-you-and-feel-trapped-by-you, complicated relationships kind of thing. and i fckn love it so so much 

2. Needle and Thread by VulpesVulpes713

Based on the prompt "kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing ". Keith tries to fix a tear in his jacket. Lance just wants some attention. The end result? Feelings.

this one is so cute they are so in love u know?? they just like to be around each other. always a fun read. vulpes is very good at klance with a crush on each other regardless of whether they’re already dating lol

3. Plans Are Overrated, Anyway by @chyeahlex16

"Lance, I-" "I know, I know," Lance said as he bustled around his nearly bare bedroom, tossing shirts out of drawers and pictures off of walls into his open suitcase on his bed. "I totally procrastinated till the last minute, just like you said! I don't need to hear the 'I told you so,' a little help packing would be nice!" "Lance-" "I bet you're already packed," he went on, oblivious to his best friend anxiously shifting in his doorway in frustration and anxiety. "Man, I can't wait until we get there-" "Lance! I have something to tell you!" Lance blinked, stilling his movements. He'd never seen his best friend so... guilty and anxious before. His brows pulled together in concern. "What's up, buddy?" "I'm not going to the Garrison with you." ~ In which I project onto Lance about things that I'm currently going through because I need to vent lol

HUNK AND LANCE HUNK AND LANCE HUNK AND LANCE. we do NOT have enough of it in this here fandom, ESPECIALLY prekerb, early relationship, and what a shame! i have always loved this fic’s exploration of their relationship and the ways they had to learn to grow into themselves, the starts and explanations for the way they were when we saw them. i love them

4. With These Hands by @azapofinspiration

Despite all the trouble they'd been through, Hunk figured everything had turned out all right. After all, he and Lance had managed to return to the castle!

Then Hunk sees the bruises and knows that things are not as good as he thought.

bro a-zap has always KILLED early season dynamics and their missing moments series is everything!! ive always needs three hundred percent more context on the mermaid episode and this fic provides not only that but also some excellent hunk & lance moments, with hurt/comfort that isnt imbalanced or infantilizing on either paladin’s part which is a low bar but awesome anyway 

5. Not As Clueless by @azapofinspiration

Pidge had always thought it was strange that despite being quite observant, Lance had completely missed the fact that she was a girl. However, it seems that that wasn’t really the case.

from the same series i just mentioned! lance IS observant, thank you very much, and i loved this take and interpretation. as much as lance does have a tendency to be dense about things, he also tends to be very observant bc hes a walking dichotomy. he notices things but his conclusions are often different than what others would make, and this entire concept is nailed in like 1.5k words

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[venomhound]

World of Warcraft - Wrathion Crush Headcanons

I actually have this GIANT document written up all about Wrathion; how he gets crushes, how he courts, and so on. I wrote it like a couple years ago. I guess Ill break it up into a couple posts and throw it on here since I'm actually posting my brainrot now lol. Maybe someone will get enjoyment out of it.

WARNING: Old writing. Not beta read we die like men ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Wrathion is very ‘classically’ romantic. When he thinks about romance and courting, he thinks about it in a very stereotypical Victorian-esque way. With the man being a gentleman, giving flowers, writing love letters, and being the one to put their heart on the line while the woman blushes and giggles.

Honestly its probably due to a bunch of romance books he has read.

Don't get me wrong, I used the word classical and not traditional for a reason. Wrathion is not the type to think in firm gender roles or anything. He just very much is of the mindset that if you are interested in someone, you show respect to that person and you express your interest. None of this pining, subtle flirting, or love game nonsense.

Wrathion absolutely despises people who don't do anything about crushes (without a good reason of course. Like, if the person is married, nothing you can do) and/or just sit and pine. Its one of his pet peeves.

I totally see Wrathion getting SO ANNOYED with Anduin if he came to him with love problems. Anduin would try to vent to him about his feelings and signals he is getting from his crush. Meanwhile Wrathion doesn't give a fuck about 'proper courting protocol' or any of that nonsense and is like JUST DO SOMETHING ALREADY.

Anyway, Wrathion is just a very big gentleman overall and surprisingly chivalrous. The easiest way to get on his bad side is harassing, disrespecting, and/or abusing a woman.

Wrathion would probably fall into the demi-romantic category. I can never imagine him experiencing love at first sight, or even falling for someone soon after meeting them.

Wrathion is more the type to become great friends with someone then have a love realization hit him like a freight train. He falls in love like falling asleep; very slowly, then all at once. It just punches him in the face before he can tell whats going on.

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

One of the first signs of Wrathion’s feelings are his stares. At first they'll be very studious looks, like your a riddle he cant figure out.

He wont hide these looks either. You'll easily catch him (and lock eyes if your brave enough).

However, when Wrathion’s feelings shift, the inquisitive looks he gave you quickly turn into loving gazes. His once sharp eyes now soft and full of admiration.

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

Dragons have a very strong instinct to protect and lavish their partner with gifts. These will be the other main tells that his feelings are changing way before either of you catches onto it.

Wrathion will check in whenever he can, and ask how your doing and feeling. He may be busy but Wrathion somehow always finds time to check in on you.

Because Wrathion himself has sleeping issues, he has this almost sixth sense for when you haven't slept or are exhausted. If you refuse to rest, Wrathion will try to help you with your workload as much as he can.

Wrathion catches on quick to what your needs are; if you have a tendency to forget to eat or drink, he will gently remind you. If you have a tendency to overwork yourself, Wrathion will try and push you to take a break.

Of course these examples are when he is first catching feelings. Once you two are a thing, Wrathion becomes much more pushy and insistent. Sleep deprived? Wrathion is pulling you to bed in his arms and taking a nap with you. Haven't eaten? Your getting something made for you right away, don't even worry about coming down, he will bring it to you! Overworking yourself? Hard to work when you have a guy kissing you all over and begging you to come relax. If that doesn't work, Wrathion will just straight up lay in your lap like a cat.

You'll also notice him being very physically protective as well. Although admittedly, at first it'll be difficult to discern what is actual protectiveness and what is just him being a gentleman.

He does the usual things you'd expect of someone of his rank. he will make sure you have safe passage and escort you himself if need be. He will also guide you with his hand to your back in crowded room.

However, he quickly starts upping himself when he starts getting feelings. Instead of asking if you need an escort, he will insist that he escort you himself. Instead of only guiding you through crowds or when things get dicey, Wrathion preemptively offers his arm to you to hold onto. If he does end up having to put his arm around you, you'll also notice that instead of it being the super gentle, almost guiding graze his hand had before; his hand is now firmly, protectively placed upon you.

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

As for the gifts. Oh dear. This is a deeply embedded dragon instinct that I think would cue alot of people into Wrathion’s feelings wayyy before he figures it out himself.

It starts innocent enough, you were complaining about not having enough of [X], one of your old pieces of armor started hurting you, or maybe a weapon broke. Well whatever it was, Wrathion took it upon himself to fix it. Has to make sure your in tip top shape, right?

Then you eyeball something at the market for a little too long, you mention a book you've been wanting, or this really cool sword you like. Before you know it, its suddenly in your possession.

Wrathion then just starts to get you things that he thinks you'd like or remind him of you. It deteriorates so quickly that he always seems to have something for you.

Wrathion is all excuses. Oh its just a reward for being a good friend! Oh he just saw how worn out you were lately and thought you needed something to cheer you up! Its an early birthday present! And this one too. This one is a late birthday present.

For a trained rogue, its actually kinda pathetic how he cannot come up with a good deflection as to why he is giving you all this stuff to save his life. But thats mostly because he doesn't even know why he is doing it himself to be honest.

(I literally imagine the gift instinct to be SO STRONG that Wrathion could be like ‘okay, no gifts, no more nothing’ then literally end up giving you the stupidest shit like an actual rock because it was pretty. He cant help it. Its in his GENES. HE MUST GIFT YOU)

Once you two are an actual thing the sporadic and, honestly, quite chaotic gifting he was doing before is no more. But thats only because it has been replaced with him absolutely spoiling you. The chaos energy he had before is now being put to good use.

One of his favorite activities is dressing you up. As weird as it sounds, he loves having you try on a ton of different outfits and model them for him.

(If it was a modern AU, Wrathion is the type of guy I could see spending hours at the mall with you and being absolutely giddy about it.)

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

AN: Alright, thats the first section. Ill post more later when I can be bothered to actually format it

[first-only]

Can I say something that might possibly be a 'hot take'?

I really don't like the rise of the whole 'He would not fucking say that' meme (and a lot of its variations). I know it's probably a joke (I'm too autistic to tell how serious people are with it lol.), and I can understand being annoyed when someone writes a character OOC, but OOC-ness is not really that big of a deal. Don't like, don't read, you know

I feel like it's also going to cause a lot of paranoia in fanwork creators, and I don't like that. And I should know, it's caused some paranoia in me (even though I've always been of the opinion that OOC-ness doesn't matter, in fact I celebrate it, just let people have fun. Despite all this, the meme still affects me and makes me worry)

I feel like the only time that OOC-ness can be a problem is when an indivisual/a fandom has a fanon that they like and they don't let anyone disagree with or write differently then that fanon. But I feel like that's not even an issue with OOC-ness, it's an issue with people (usually BNFs) being jerks and trying to get other people to conform to what they want

I don't know, maybe this whole thing is just a communal joke and I'm worrying over nothing. I'm not trying to ruin anyone's fun, have fun with your memes and all that, I just wanted to vent

(This ask is not directed at you FO, I know you're not the type to care about OOC-ness)

hard agreed actually, it's annoying as fuck

i honestly dont think it's that much of a joke to be honest, what with people making posts being all high par Make A Fucking OC and shit like??? who tf are u to tell me what to do lmao. if i want john winchester in a flower dress imma damn well make it, dont give a single fuck how Not Canon Compliant тм it is

thats the fucking point of fandom ya know? literally who cares. this whole thing reeks of the new-wave "it will never be canon so why ship it". like. its fandom material, none of it will be canon, the point is to have fun.

that and that one gross post "theres too much fluff of X" bitch?? i like fluff about X. you dont get to say what everyone creates, you dont have to like all of it. just pick the stuff you like, it isnt difficult.

AND those posts that keep popping up in "proshipper" spaces that go 'i know it's just fiction but guys. content about X chara being Y is /actually/ really bad;///'... it's like people completely forget their fundamental ideology about fiction when their own specific identity happens to be the thing that's bothering them this time. so is content that makes people uncomfortable 'allowed' or not? make up your mind, no doublebacksies. and who tf are you to not allow it in the first place but i guess there's enough people who for some reason get anxious over randos' opinions on the internet to feel bad about it so...

anyway, yeah. personal tastes do not dictate people's politics. this relates to yet another popular discourse lately:)

[canonizzyhours]

I wrote this long meta post this morning when I was supposed to be working in response to someone saying that they relate to Izzy because he's an outsider, but I deleted it because I realized that I don't care about Izzy, and there's no point in arguing with someone who will be like well that's just your opinion man. Out of all the crew, I care about Izzy the least. I missed Buttons more than I'll miss Izzy in S3. So I'm going to stop reading Izzy posts.

(Although I still maintain that if you see Izzy as the outsider character in Season One you're missing the whole point of his character in that season. Being disliked by your peers is not the same thing as being an outsider!)

But I have one final vent: I'm completely baffled by the canyon. Completely. After I finished the first season, my friend warned me that there were people in fandom who LOVED Izzy, and I was like lol wut. And even after reading all the canyon's meta and all their frankly unhinged tweets, I still don't get it.

Jar Izzy? Okay, I totally get that. Everyone loves a bad boy with issues. I'd be shocked if he didn't have some fans.

But canyon Izzy isn't even Izzy. I've seen them say over and over that Izzy is mentally ill, which is never presented in canon (yet they ignore Ed's very textual breakdown??? why don't they relate to Ed's mental illness???). They say he protects and cares about the crew - citation, please. Show me the scene where he protected anyone. They say that he was completely motivated by the thought that Stede and/or Ed was going to get them killed - aside from Izzy freaking out over the Spanish in 1x04, there's no evidence of that, either. Every character trait they like about canyon Izzy (secretly soft inside, a genius, a natural leader, creative, funny, really really ridiculously good looking, probably nice to kids) literally belongs to the character of Ed!

Then I see posts saying that they relate to Izzy because they're mean and no one likes them... yikes. Or I see them say that they relate to Izzy because they've loved someone who hasn't loved them back, but then why do they vilify the character their fave loves? They've been queer baited because Steddyhands was totally written into canon. Izzy was the only real disabled character. Izzy was the only real gay character. Izzy was the only one with a queer storyline - I guess Stede's entire storyline in Season One never happened?

And you know what, I could probably ignore all that. I could stop checking Tumblr. Hell, some of the Ed takes annoy me because they go too far in the opposite direction and call Izzy an evil mastermind; there are a lot of annoying posts on this site. But it bleeds into my first love: Modern AU Fanfic. Any time I click on a fic that pairs Izzy with anyone else it's more likely than not to portray Ed as violently insane or emotionally manipulative. It bums me out because I'm going to have to start filtering out more and more fic, and I'm going to miss out on some real gems just because it's also tagged Izzy Hands. But I don't know how much longer I can read fics where it turns out that Ed beats and tortures Izzy and only Izzy because they have a special connection, and Izzy gets with Lucius or Frenchie and Ed can't handle it because he can't deal with Izzy loving anyone but him, and Ed picks at Izzy and says terrible underhanded things about him, and everyone is secretly on Izzy's side. WHY ARE THERE EVEN SIDES???

Anyway, I blame Sherlock and discord.

#198.

[retrowaving1]

I noticed people creating such descriptions on Tumblr, I assumed that I could do the same so that the people who visit my blog would be less confused about what they're seeing here. After all, I'm really open to communication, but it's probably better if you know what to expect from me:)

So, who the h am I?

> Obviously, Ohiko Amok is not my real name. Not only do I have Eastern/Central European origins, nobody can have a surname which stands for an aggressive dissociative behavioral syndrome (i guess).

I don't want to go by my real name on the internet unless it comes up in conversation with my mutuals.

> I'm a person of many professions: (1) personal tutor teaching adults with dyslexia, adhd, Asperger's etc.; to speak English (2) Marketing professional; (3) Graphic designer; (4) Apparently, I become an HR manager as well???

Sometimes I post some funny observations connected with my professional background, and even though some of them might seem tiny bit salty, I love my occupations wholeheartedly (except for some episodes of working with people, people are truly annoying sometimes).

> I have lots of hobbies; I like cooking (I'll gladly exchange recipes with anyone interested in mine), I like painting and drawing (both digitally and traditionally), I do yoga, I like reading (and sometimes even writing) and I like learning about skin issues (lol, I even have a certificate that I finished a course teaching about acne and how to properly deal with it xd). I also play a number of very simple computer games and enjoy board games, but I wouldn't call myself an enthusiast of neither. What I do adore is music - I'm the only person in my family who haven't had any musical trainings in the past, but being a daughter of a choir singer and a guy whose friends call him "Orchestra" for playing multiple instruments, together with being a sister of a sound designer and a former rock band frontman, I do have a strong appreciation for music. My taste in music is very vast and it'll be difficult to limit it to one genre or a group of artists, but I can easily name some of the most influential performers for me: Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Leonard Cohen, Dusty Springfield, Judy Garland, Fleetwood Mac, Czesław Niemen, Marek Grechuta, Volodymyr Ivasyuk, Okean Elzy, Skryabin, Shocking Blue..

I would love to bond over music with anyone with similar tastes <3

I also absolutely ADORE cats, they are my "spirit animals", so they are going to appear in my blog sometimes.

> I do not identify myself through pronouns, sexuality, belonging to a certain movement. I think all of those labels are secondary and often limit person to a certain degree. Biologically, I'm a woman. I'm bisexual, but I do not consider myself to be a part of LGBTQ community. I'm not religious. I'm not a feminist of any kind. I have my own strong ideas developed through the years living in a certain context, my own preferences and worldview, but I don't want to label them in any way, as it seems redundant.

> I come from Poland<3 If at some point you might get confused by my posts' being inspired by both Polish and Ukrainian popular culture and historical background, it's because I was born in Ukraine (albeit in a Polish family) and feel a strong connection and love to both countries.

> Since I've started to post on Tumblr regularly, I very often get some horny messages (i'm talking about real people, not porn bots), so here's one bit of information which I feel obliged to add to my account description: I'm currently engaged and I'm not looking for any relationships aside from friendly ones

> I don't reply to messages in russian

> I've recently created another blog called @retrowaving-vents to just write random stuff there. Welcome, if you are interested in some random stream of consciousness.

Cheers, if you've managed to read this whole post, I hope you'll enjoy the content I post on this account<3 Feel free to ask any questions that might come to your mind, I really like talking xd

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

LMAOOOO yeah lowk it was still more funny than embarrassing for me catching that typo here but if I found it after I sent it to someone else I think I’d be a goner

(Also wait speaking of I forgot to mention you’re seriously a trooper for reading all of orv…I followed the comic for awhile but I have a friend whose obsessed with it and like summarized the entire novel to me in like an essay (I’m still confused as hell because I lost track of the details) but after hearing it all from them it’s truly a ride…)

NOOO I SAW!! Ofc it’s sae LMAO classic itoshi scenario…yk maybe Karasu nation will come in clutch last minute…(I’m ngl I’m kinda glad none of those characters are on there oops LMAOOO I also don’t think they’d have much to do with aiku and honestly there’s so many works of them all) Ok I still kinda feel like it’s a win tho bc Karasu and Barou in second and third???

FRRR the edits are gonna go so hard…just imagine the Barou stripping scene LMAOO (the dudebros glazing Barou are everywhere omg)

I love how “the white haired dude” is an archetype of its own it’s so funny but so real…(gotta confess Im usually in the white haired dude fan section like somehow I end up gravitating to them too)

IM CRYING THE PARENTHESES it just goes on“or fifth…sixth……15th…” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m crying your writing has made MY standards too high but honestly so real…even seabird sae is already better than like…a good majority of the population out there this is lowk sad

LMAOAO THE SELF HELP BOOKS I see the vision the purple green was also perfect for him

OOOOH I guess we’ve just gotta see what tiktok audio pops up on your fyp LOL but I’m excited I was leaning towards chigiri or Barou I was looking cooking way more for their ideas

LOL it’s ok that Nagi requester will get Nagi content from oaeu too!! I’m actually so hyped for the series

LMAO I plugged them into a generator and got Karasu!! I guess it’s the universe telling me not to stray from Karasu nation….lowk almost forgot that he’s essentially my namesake I got too desensitized to it so the generator really said remember your origins

OHHHHHHHHHH wait that’s kinda stupid on tumblrs part wdym the creator can’t see the results unless they vote??? SHDHS thats actually so annoying your rant is so valid (also just generally feel free to go wild ranting or venting it’s all good w me) im ngl if you want the next time you make a poll i can just vote early on and keep you updated on the results if you don’t wanna have that option there for people to screw with…but BRO YUKI AND OTOYA???? I know they generally still lag behind Karasu in terms of popularity s2 please save them

LMAO nah it’s perfectly reasonable and valid like some people don’t have the brain development for proper impulse control ig like damn

Ok well in the time I was writing it ig it’s over now good for you sae fans good for you (BOOO TOMATO TOMATO /j)

- Karasu anon

HAHAH our freaks are so matched i don’t even blink at 90% of your typos we truly are the same person LMAOAO

omg i LOVEDDDD orv i read it on my phone in the summer of 2023 when i had nothing else to do and it was genuinely so so good like the novel is PEAK i never read the webcomic version because i’m attached to the translations in the novel even though they’re not “official” but genuinely the novel is probably one of if not THE best things i’ve ever read like it actually changed my brain chemistry fr (it’s a long build but the ending arc is peak fiction)

SAE WON 💔 but very proud of karasu nation and barou nation for locking in and getting them so close to sae that was def unexpected!! and yeahhh that’s the vibe i was getting too like there’s no way for them to realistically be involved w aiku so it wouldn’t make sense for them to be there PLUS i don’t like them that much so i can’t cook up an idea to involve them w aiku the way i did w nagi 😰 speaking of which i think i have the idea for yukimiya HAHA basically aiku is like “okay we’re the two oldest blue lock members let’s be best friends 😄” and yukimiya is like “thanks but i already have a bestie ☺️” and ofc aiku is like WHAT and has to do some heavy recon (he probs recruits niko too LMAO atp niko is an honorary wingman just because he’s consistently aiku’s sidekick) and that’s where he finds reader which makes be like “hold on there is definitely something romantic going on here” so he tries to get yuki and reader together in order to finally have a soccer playing bff who’s also relatively normal (@ barou)

the craziest thing abt dude bros glazing barou is that he’s physically their ideal but in every other way he is NOTHING like them!! like that man respects women, cooks and cleans, is willing to accept his mistakes and work on them, hates people who are mid…he would think they’re goofy asf 😭

KDJDKSSJ i normally don’t really go for the white haired characters but nagi is an exception…my other top favs have been eren from aot (brown hair), megumi and yuta from jjk (black hair), and shinah from yotd (blue hair??) HAHA honesty karasu and rin are very in line w the kinds of characters i typically like physically but idk smth abt nagi appeals to me the most 🙂‍↕️

FBKDDNSJSN luckily it was NOT shidou!! i’m going to repost it so i’m sure you’ll know by the time you read this but i got chigiri 🤩 which honestly i can actually see but specifically his actual canon miraverse characterization NOT his overly feminized fandom self 😭 apparently they originally thought nagi which slay but they came to the same realization i did a while ago which is that as much as i love him the two of us are too similar in some ways and too different in other ways so we would actually not work out irl 😓💔 honestly chigimira wasn’t one i was necessarily expecting but it might be what i needed (idk if i could muster up a long fic idea for chigiri…maybe?? we will see #tbd)

LMAOAAO me when a man slides into my dms but he doesn’t buy me plane tickets and an expensive sandwich 😒 abt to start telling everyone i have a bf or smth HAHA because unless a man is miraverse bllk men level he’s simply not replacing nagi or karasu or sae or whoever 🥱

HELPP i’m glad the vision comes through i rlly like this cover!! i think i’m going to put the character’s name where it said “masterlist” on the masterlist so it’s easy to tell who the individual oneshot is abt 🤩 don’t want people to start reading expecting an aiku fic (at least until the last part which actually is for aiku)

i just got a barou request HAHA so it’ll def be chigiri or MAYBE bachira depending on what i feel inspired for!! agreed it’s time to open tik tok and feel the vibes out for what i want to write next…maybe watch some edits too while i’m at it for further assistance 😏

HAHA no fr stay true to your origins…i’m going to write all of them eventually anyways so it’s not that deep but i just wanted to figure out where I should start since all of them have such good premises that i can’t decide!! rip otoya and yukimiya though…hoping s2 + oaeu converts more people 😰

for now i think it should be okay like it’s nbd since so many other people do vote as well it’s just like a personal pet peeve HFKDJDSJS we all have smth that makes us tweak i suppose…i’m just in my isagi on field era 😩 i don’t do polls that often so it shouldn’t be a huge issue but expect me to have at least a paragraph in our convos crashing out over that whenever i do end up making a poll 😭

sae nation is too strong…they’re inevitable fr KFJDKD honestly proud of karasu and reo for hanging on for a bit that’s impressive 🤩 in the end though an itoshi bro is basically a guaranteed win (unless like i said kaiser or MAYBE isagi are in the running too)

[st4rry-sh4rkz]

Modern MMU Headcanons

Ok let’s start with Daisy:

she plays electric guitar but doesn’t rlly tell anybody so when Hazel went over her house she just pulled out an electric guitar, did a kickass riff and Hazel was just like:    what.

defo listens to rlly loud thrash music that would break her eardrums 

but is also a clairo stan 

she relates to class of 2013 on a PERSONAL LEVEL 

her style is either light academia or like cottagecore lesbian??

her room is messy but she knows where everything is and refuses to clean it because “it helps her work”

it doesn’t 

has posters over every inch of her walls but they don’t make any sense because there will be like an ominous detective poster right next to a saiki k poster 

she defo watches saiki k as a comfort anime

refuses to wear AirPods or wire headphones and will only wear a rlly chunky pair of classic headphones 

a major procrastinator 

wears SO MANY RINGS omfg 

is actually a rlly talented artist but doesn’t tell many ppl and Bertie is one of the only ones who knows so he hangs up her drawings in his bedroom

Bertie also def bought her a pride flag to put in her room bc ✨supportive older brother✨

keysmashes (Hazel doesn’t understand them at all)

she became the cool mum friend because she didn’t have a mother figure

but then realised nobody else in the friend group had one either 😭

Hazel nowww:

a bake off stan (I saw it on somebody else’s post idk who)

def got daisy into watching k dramas and now they binge them together

plays piano

listens to romantic music from the 60s-80s 

especially Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy by Queen bc it reminds her of Alexander 

also a Beatles stan 

I think she would either dress comfy and oversized OR be light/dark academia

her room is so clean omfg 

she tried to help daisy clean but it didn’t end well

bakes CONSTANTLY

if there is a party in the friend group Hazel WILL be bringing the home cooked food 

Pinterest addict (you know I’m right)

is supposed to wear glasses but doesn’t most of the time

her room is just COVERED in bake off merch

prolly started a homework club 

but now everyone just goes to hang out

will never swear and hasn’t at all 

won’t admit it but is actually rlly good at painting her nails

and everybody in the dorm convinces her to paint theirs 

Kitty:

is the girlboss guru of the friend group

does everybody’s winged eyeliner 

tries to do group therapy sessions but everybody just ends up venting 

she’s GIVING pansexual energy and I can’t explain it 

def listens to doja cat and nicki minaj 

the kind of person to impulsively dye her hair when something goes wrong

like she’ll walk into the room with neon green hair and everybody will be like OMFG WHATS WRONG DO U NEED A THERAPY SESSION

her style is prolly streetwear 

sneaks out all the time

but daisy always catches her and lets her go anyways 

her room is messy and she always attempts to clean it and fails miserably 

uses slay and girlboss ironically and her and daisy talk fluently in gen z 

this confuses Hazel and annoys Lavinia

would rock up to a party in a suit

but the next day wear a dress

gives relationship advice to everybody who will listen

is a sarcastic gay

istg she will have ALL the rainbow merch

she loves reading but doesn’t tell anybody

she usually reads by torchlight but everybody has caught her doing it by now

Beanie:

dyslexic af

when she texts with horrible spelling the others just have to deal with it

the only person in the homework club to actually do work 

idk why but she seems like a trans girl???

kitty does her makeup 

she def listens to cavetown with alexander 

it helps her sleep

her style is probably comfy clothes with cute animals on them and stuff 

she also started wearing beanies as a joke but now has a whole collection

attempted to sneak out with kitty but they ended up just lying on the grass watching the stars

relationship goals 

unironically uses lol in conversations 

the most innocent of the friendgroup

binges Saiki K with daisy while they do each other’s nails 

is a cat person and wants to own at least 4 in the future 

has a rlly neat room to everybody’s surprise

but it turns out she invites Hazel over regularly to help her clean it and so they can watch bake off together 

she knows about daisy being rlly good at art so sometimes they go over each other’s house and just draw the whole time 

is terrified of dogs 

Lavinia:

allergic to cats 

it’s an inside joke that she starts pretending to sneeze when near kitty 

paints her nails black 

pretends to listen to rlly loud rock music and will blast it in the room

but secretly listens to the Beatles with Hazel because it helps her sleep 

plays the drums (this is a FACT)

tried to make a band with daisy and Hazel and Alexander 

it didn’t work out 

her style is prolly streetwear and she wears SO MANY NECKLACES 

her rooms messy af but nobody’s been over her house cuz they know about her family issues 

watches demon slayer 

Hazel is terrified of her cuz she thinks that it’s way too gory 

this is one of the reasons why she watches it 

she actually has a soft spot for little kids 

and decided to become a babysitter but instantly regretted it 

sneaks George into the dorms CONSTANTLY 

the girls aren’t surprised anymore when they wake up and Lavinia and George are sitting cross legged on the floor debating communism 

this is a regular thing

worked at Starbucks but is rlly bad at customer service 

Swears SO MUCH and Hazel is just like:

“LANGUAGE!”

ok so now Alexander:

trans boy?? I think so

he def struggled with toxic masculinity but George and Hazel and kitty helped him out 

now he paints his nails with Lavinia n Hazel 

started listening to Taylor swift as a joke but now is lowkey obsessed and debates with George about the best era (obviously reputation)

also listens to cavetown w beanie

his style is def oversized jumpers and dark academia 

Hazel also helps him clean his room so it’s usually neat af

he has cavetown posters everywhere 

I mean EVERYWHERE 

his comfort song is This is Home

him and George helped the girls write a petition to start the Deepdean GSA

it was successful 

him and Hazel spend so much time planning their life together it’s rlly wholesome 

the girls have heard it so much they are willing to disagree 

he plays bass guitar and was in the band (he also sang alongside daisy)

they broke up cuz he argued w Daisy SO MUCH 

he wears contacts most of the time but Hazel thinks he looks cute w glasses so he’s started wearing them more often

He enjoys scrapbooking but nobody knows except Hazel 

George:

plays the trumpet 

only to annoy Lavinia because whenever he sees her he’ll start playing Careless Whisper 

is a major Taylor Swift stan 

he thinks reputation is the best era AND HE IS RIGHT 

didn’t want to be a part of the band because he already knew how it was gonna end 

a master at sneaking into the girls dorm

or so he says (he actually just wakes everybody up)

his style is just whatever he’s feeling at the moment which leads to some questionable fashion choices 

he’s the kind of guy to wear a nirvana band shirt and then when asked if he can name songs (he’s a major nirvana fan) he’ll start naming ac/dc songs just to piss ppl off

he says he won’t get political and then starts ranting about the corrupt government 

it doesn’t help that Lavinia encourages him

Amina:

actually enjoys baking and will go over hazels house to bake stuff w her 

because daisy is a terrible chef 

her style is rlly confusing cuz she’ll dress fem one day and then be masc the next 

her and daisy need to get a room, according to the ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP

listens to girl in red unironically 

also sneaks into the girls dorm room

it’s just normal in there to wake up and Amina, George and Alexander will already be there

she plays acoustic guitar but just doesn’t tell anybody except daisy n Hazel 

actually a rlly talented singer 

her room is so tidy but nothing makes sense 

she keeps rats as pets especially the ones w red eyes 

this terrifies daisy (and everybody else) on so many levels 

also wears SO MANY RINGS

her and kitty are rlly good friends 

even if she’s also allergic to cats

She doodles on herself when she’s bored and started drawing daisies up her arms 

She is def a theatre kid

OK RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS CUZ I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL:

Daisy & Amina:

They go to feminist marches and pride parades together

they sneak out together ALL THE TIME

they have cute lil picnics in the flower fields n they make daisy chains together 

Amina’s big spoon (you know I’m right)

daisy tried to teach her gf how to dance but they ended up just falling over each other in a pile of laughter 

Amina calls daisy flowergirl as a pet name 

the others place bets on how many times flowergirl is gonna be said 

Kitty always wins

they’ve been to a girl in red concert together 

Bertie was def the first person to know they were dating 

they do each other’s makeup 

they decorated the dorm rooftop with fairy lights and blankets so they could sneak out there and fall asleep under the stars

they always know exactly what to get each other for valentines 

so daisy and Amina both individually give advice to the other couples 

except daisy charges money 😭

They braid each other’s hair and doodle on each other when they’re bored

Hazel and Alexander:

Hazel constantly steals Alexander’s jumpers 

they have a scrapbook together 

Alexander worked as a florist for a short period of time and sent Hazel flowers everyday with poems

They always try to outdo daisy and Amina in couples competitions 

daisy and Amina always win tho cuz they’re super competitive 

they insist on going into photo booths  together whenever possible so they can get pics for the scrapbook 

Alexander is big spoon obv 

They adopted a cat together but still can’t decide on the name

daisy thinks they should name it after her 

they’re def not doing that 

Hazel bakes cakes every year for her bfs birthday 

Daisy attempted to do it for Amina one year but miserably failed 

Alexander tries to carry Hazel but almost drop her every time

They have rlly complex secret handshakes

Kitty and Beanie:

Beanie used to go to Kitty for relationship advice even tho it was Kitty she was crushing on

the first time they kissed was when beanie was in the middle of confessing to her 

Beanie has night terrors and trouble sleeping so Kitty sings to help her fall asleep

they didn’t have to tell anybody they were dating

they just randomly started kissing each other and nobody questioned it 

Kitty’s big spoon 

Lavinia did start wondering why Kitty stopped sleeping in her own bed and would wake up in Beanies 

she never asked tho 

They go on shopping sprees together 

Kitty def does beanies makeup and teaches her how to do rlly intricate hair styles 

George and Lavinia:

Lavinia gets a lot of shit for dating a non white man obvs 

they get through it tho 

they stay up rlly late debating their existence in the universe and politics 

This annoys everybody except Hazel and Alexander who think it’s pretty cute 

When Lavinia worked at Starbucks George would order a drink everybody but she would make sure to pronounce his name wrong every time

“Can… Jorge? … collect his order please?”

George loved her for that

They’re annoying at road trips cuz if you pass them the aux you better prepare for horrible renditions of Taylor swift songs 

They once turned up to the school dance with George wearing a dress and Lavinia wearing a suit

they enjoy breaking gender norms cuz who doesn’t 

they paint each other’s nails 

George leaves random post it notes for Lavinia to find when he stays over at the dorm

If the other girls or Alexander find them they get so confused 

Alexander would find one and be like:

“George why are you confessing your love to me? I have a girlfriend??”

“Ohhhh this is for Lavinia. Got it.”

OK THATS IT :)

[bots-and-cons]

Another update and kinda venting lol

As usual, I'm gonna put the update thing here, so you don't have to look for it. So, it's probably been over a week since I last posted at this point, but I'm trying to work on a new post. I have like three WIPs for this blog and two for the other one, so it's not that I haven't been writing, it's just that I can't finish anything, which is annoying. I'm gonna try to post tomorrow though, because I hate when I go over a week without posting. It still happens a lot though...

Venting starts here, just me yelling into the internet void...

When I started my first writing blog (@herofics) back in June of 2017, I used to post twice a day. TWICE A DAY, for months probably closer to a year, I'm not really sure. I've just been thinking that it was an absolutely insane thing to do, and I have no idea how I managed it while I was so badly depressed. Nowadays, I post maybe once or twice a week, three times if I'm really motivated and have a lot of time and inspiration. I can't even imagine how crappy those posts were tbh, I didn't put much time into them and I just wasn't as good at writing as I am now. I've improved so much and I'm so happy about that.

I was supposed to get myself another practical training position for the fall, but I haven't gotten around to it. I was actually supposed to do it in May and let my class's tutor teacher know before she started her vacation at the beginning of June, but guess who has still not done that... I honestly fucking hate that I procrastinate so much, like why can't I just do stuff immediately or at least in a timely manner. Nope, I'm here two months later, complaining on the internet and still not just doing it. I honestly just feel so overwhelmed by the whole thing. I got so exhausted during my first practical training in the spring, and those were like five-hour days. I have no idea how I'm supposed to survive eight weeks with five eight-hour days each, and manage school on top of that, like just fuck me, I'm not built for that. I've honestly been thinking that I probably can't manage full-time work once I graduate, if I graduate...

I'm 24 and I can't drive either. It gives me such horrific anxiety and pretty much an instant panic attack if I even try. On top of that, I honestly don't want to drive, because I'm terrified I might act on my intrusive thoughts. I just simply don't want to drive because of the reasons mentioned above. Since I don't have an official autism diagnosis, I can't access any of the ride services that would provide. At least I'm pretty sure Kela has a service like that here in Finland.

I know I say this pretty much every time I make one of these posts, but I'm doing okay. I'm just kinda scared for the fall when school starts again, because I don't know if I have the energy to do both the practical training and school. I need to finish my summer courses too, and I'm dreading the swedish since I haven't even started it yet. Though one of my classmates did the whole thing in about an hour, so apparently it's not very hard. I just really need to get it started...

Anyway, thanks if you read this and remember to stay hydrated :D

[miusato]

I probably wrote this before but it was in tags so I don't think people read it lol but anyway Kotone, Shinji and Aki are still orphans in my AU.

Kotone would go live with her aunt. I imagined that after her parents tragically dies, no one actually wants to take her in since her parents were disown from the big family prior before their death. The aunt who takes her in were the only ones who wants to take her in because she was also disown from the family due to her lifestyle and she's the only one that keeps contact with Kotone's parent when they were alive. Okayyy please don't eat me alive but lately I was tinkering with the idea that the aunt would be Elizabeth since she seems like a weirdo (affectionately) but also out of all her siblings, she's the only one that really indulges into mortal world's activity and her SL is so fun she really enjoyed doing human things and gets curious about it so like I imagine if she's actually a normal human I set her to be in this AU, she would be the kind of person that would be open to anything, kind of that cool liberal aunt you want to have. But I also see her to be indulging herself a lot to the point I see her to be hedonistic and hhh she seems to be the kind of person that would sleep around and bring random women (and sometimes men) in the house. Kotone likes her enough to tolerate that (and also because thats her house she could do whatever she wants) but I can see that she also annoyed that Elizabeth just couldn't live at least a week not bringing randos into the house and it constantly became the subject whenever she wants to vent to Shinji lol. I think the issue is that Elizabeth forgets that Kotone's still a teenager and she treats her more like a housemate than how an aunt should be.

Shinji on the other hand would live at a foster home with a few foster kids in that home. I see that the foster parent is the kind of people that basically take those kids in just for the sole purpose of profit so they only provide the bare minimum for the kids including Shinji and due to that reason, Shinji has to work part time job just so he could afford living (since they dont really fed him that well) and also saving up money for when he eventually has to move out and kicked off the program. I also starts to tinker with the idea that one of the foster kid at the home is Ken and despite how Ken doesnt seem to like him, he cares deeply for him and he constantly thinks about how he wants Ken to be with him when he has his own place and financially stable enough to support Ken.

Lastly for Aki, honestly I havent think thoroughly about it. I'm constantly going back and forth between either him also being in foster or he is adopted into an upper class family. His living condition is much better than Shinji's but he couldn't help but feeling guilty that Shinji couldn't live with him and he was still living with survivor's guilt because his sister wasn't able to live long enough to live comfortably like he is in the present times.