#(not publishing only because I don't want to extend the asks about it....I'm not sure how to keep saying the same thing differently! :))

[cantquitu]

.

[pascaloverx]

OUR SECRET — MYG

final chapter

Summary: You and Yoongi are having an affair. No, you are not being his lover. But the world is not ready to know that an idol is dating someone. So you two were doing your best to make sure no one found out. Until he breaks up with you. His mistake.

Author's note: It was a beautiful journey to write this fanfic. But unfortunately, it comes to an end in this chapter. I will miss all the readers of this fanfic, which was so precious to me. Thank you all, and until next time.

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"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Upon reflection, this philosophy could be right, but no one mentions that sometimes, just sometimes, life gives you lemons and you don't have the strength for anything else. It's been two months since your baby passed away. You're trying to move forward, but the path ahead seems so murky, as if there's nowhere to go. Since your daughter's passing, you and Yoongi have been trying to maintain a sense of peace, but it feels like a hollow peace. He works all day and only comes home late at night. You've returned to work as a book editor, doing some freelance work from home.

"How is this going to be?" You ask, with the laptop in your lap, as you stare at the corrections needed for the new book that some new author wants to publish at the publishing house where you work. Yoongi looks at you, bringing a plate of food that he's trying to learn to cook.

"What do you mean by that?" Yoongi speaks as he hands you a plate and takes another for himself. You look, trying to understand if he hasn't noticed that you've been treated like a child since your daughter died.

"I mean, husband, that I know you've been neglecting your concert schedule and what should have been your tour with the boys, because of me. It's noble of you, but you know that I can take care of myself, right?" You say, tasting the macaroni that Yoongi made. He's a good cook.

"Wife, I'm not just doing this for you. It's just that I didn't plan on working at this time. But believe me, I'm working on a new album." Yoongi says as he turns on the television to watch the sports channel. At least that's what you think he's watching.

"Even so, I may seem fragile, but I can be alone. I can even call you while you're away. I don't want you to neglect your life because of me. I'll be here when you come back, no matter where you're from." You say as you set your laptop on the table and sit close to him. You continue eating the macaroni he made. Eventually, both of you finish eating, and you decide to put some music on the television. He looks at you angrily for changing the channel from sports. Then you extend your hand to him, hoping he'll take it so you can dance. After some grumbling, he gets up and pulls you close by your waist.

"You know it's weird for us to dance like this, for no reason after dinner, right?" Yoongi asks, and you feel a bit awkward about saying that you're trying to be spontaneous. It's been a while since you and he have done anything cute together.

"Loving someone means doing senseless things with them, you know? And I think it's been a while since the last time we were romantically together. Our beginning was all secretive and full of passion. Then we had a dramatic breakup that resulted in a surprise pregnancy that left us both grieving for our daughter. We're married now, but I feel like we barely dated. Maybe now is the time for us to do cute, silly, and romantic things." You confide in Yoongi as you rest your head on his shoulder, and you both continue dancing slowly.

"I don't regret any of this, though. Our love story is confusing. Maybe even complicated. But at least I have you. And you have me. And I may not show it very well, but you are the most precious thing I have now. I love my fans, I love my group, but my love for you is greater than the success I have. I know it took a long time for me to say this to you, and I'm really sorry for not being the man you deserved, but I want to be now. Know that." Yoongi says, pulling his head back slightly, looking at you, and you immediately kiss him. A calm and peaceful kiss. Exactly how you want your love to be.

"You know… I could go on tour with you if you need me to. And I think in the future, we can consider expanding our love, but for now, it would be good to take some time to reconnect, you know." You say with your mouth still close to Yoongi's, who gives you a few pecks while seeming very lost in your lips to care much about what you're saying.

"I think this part of reconnecting is very important. Do you want to start now?" Yoongi says and kisses you. A deeper kiss, and extremely needy. Needy for you. You try to show that you feel so much I miss his kisses as much as he does. The truth is, you want Yoongi. You want to give a chance to a flame that has been extinguished for some time. Yoongi holds your face gently but firmly and intensifies the kiss. His hands roaming your body make you feel alive.

"Honey, I think we should take this reconnection to the bedroom, don't you think?" You speak as you move away from him a little and walk at a pace very slowly to your room. Your heart feels like it's going to escape through your mouth, because of your nervousness. But then Yoongi grabs your hand and spins you around.

"I love you." He says smiling slightly and kissing you. You know he loves you. And you feel the same way about him. You then pull him to bed and there you reconnect in the most beautiful way.

Your story continues to be a lesson for some time that not every love story happens in the same way. You loved each other and just when you were separating, you discovered that together you could be better. With Yoongi you faced grief. And with you, Yoongi matured. Fortunately, years later you adapted to married life and he was able to return to being a world-famous singer. You have a mature relationship filled with reconnections. Every year you go to the cemetery to take flowers for your daughter. It seems that sometimes finding a happy ending means going through many barriers. But you're trying to live your happily ever after with Yoongi.

[not-poignant]

Just saw your post about Ghibli + elements of grotesque with the Nausicaa gifset and how you wrote an essay comparing it to Shinto philosophy and I had to ask - you didn't happen to write that for an IB film class did you?? Cause that would be a WILD coincidence if so, bc I'm doing IB film rn and one of our extended essay examples was literally exactly that; an analysis/comparison of Ghibli movies and Shinto philosophy/religion and it was really really good.

Even if not, that's so cool!! I adore Ghibli and totally agree with the points you left in the tags of that post. Ghibli is about confronting the uncomfortable and ugly and grotesque and scary and acknowledging it as a valid and necessary part of life. Everything in balance!! Sure there are some more cutesy kiddy films which I feel have become more mainstream but especially films like Nausicaa have very real and important messages that often get overlooked :( I was really scared of Nausicaa when I was a child and now it's one of my favourite films!!

Anyway, you're awesome, I agree with your takes and Ghibli rocks 💪

Hi anon!

So this is going to be a wild journey, strap in.

I don't know what IB Film is. I did my thesis in a final year university unit specifically where we all developed our own thesis subject, had a supervisor, and it was basically a test run to do first class Honours (which lets you bypass a Masters degree and go straight to the PhD, which I then intended to do). It was a limited class that only had about 10 people in it, I believe. My supervisor was the head of the film department.

Now, this was back in about 2004. Shit I'm old. Ghibli wasn't a household name. It wasn't streaming anywhere. You couldn't get DVDs easily, and if you wanted them you had to make sure you had a region unlocked DVD player to deal with the DRM and then buy them from overseas. Most people were only getting exposed to these films if they were regular cinema-goers, or if they were an aggressive pirate via downloading torrents (which I was). The only place you could get Ghibli merch pretty much was Japan. It absolutely did not have the kind of traction it has now, no one could do a class on it outside of Japan because the majority of students would have no idea what you were talking about.

I think Disney/Lasseter had picked up the option to do dubs, but for the most part, if we were seeing these at the cinema, they were subbed.

So that's the context! That was in an era where I was the one directly getting all of my friends on Livejournal and in person, into Studio Ghibli. I went to the Ghibli film festival back before Spirited Away came out, and that got me hooked years previous.

In 2004 I did my thesis. At the time I was the only person in the English speaking world to do a thesis specifically on my thesis subject. It had been covered briefly in sentences like 'Miyazaki practices Shinto' etc. and there was one other unpublished thesis I was able to find that talked about concepts of Shinto and some of Miyazaki's films which helped me a lot with my thesis.

I went on a deep dive into Shinto. Because it was a thesis, I had to research a lot into the difference between folk and shrine Shinto (Ghibli films lean very 'folk' but there are moments of shrine Shinto), and ended up with a pretty baller reference list. But many, many, many more resources online and off have come out since. I'd find the thesis very easy to do if I was doing it now.

Because I was the first to kind of present my findings in a thesis like this, the thesis ended up getting published in a book on animism and then journeyed further on because it was of interest to people who are interested in representations of animism in mass media, especially popular mass media.

The specific focus of my thesis statement was the difference between the black and white puritanical morality of Disney, the most popular animation studio for children and adults at the time, versus Miyazaki's mixed morality and more nuanced explorations of good and evil, villains, heroes and antiheroes in Ghibli animations, and how that was at least partly founded in the difference between a more Christianised versus Shinto mindset in relation to nature and intersections with humanity.

Idk, something like that.

The thesis did well! I got my high distinction, got my invitation into first class Honours, and then was too sick to go on and get the PhD and teach about these things, which was what I fully intended to do!

My thesis got some traction over the years, published in a few places both online and in at least two books (one that I own, the other I forget because it's been oh my god like 20 years), so the idea got around!

Anon, there is actually a chance - a small chance - that the only reason you're getting this essay subject in a more standardised curriculum is because my thesis made its way into the public eye 20 years ago and got quite popular. It was never peer reviewed or anything, it wasn't a PhD thesis and didn't need to be, it was mostly just a very well-researched (if I do say so myself) collation of thoughts on the subject as someone is also a practicing animist. In retrospect I really wish I'd incorporated more of Zipe's teachings but he was in a completely different field to media studies and my supervisor didn't know about him to suggest him.

Discussions of Ghibli, Miyazaki and Shinto became a lot more popularised as Ghibli got more popular and people in the western world discovered that there were already a published essay (at the time people could read it without paying for it as I'd put it up online for folks to access) that linked to other sources and the unpublished essay I'd found. So...

Um, yeah, that's wild, because I know that this wasn't a thing in universities 20 years ago, because I was so desperate for resources I was emailing around and asking universities so I didn't have to figure so much out myself. 😅

[fushiglow]

Hello glow!!! Thank you for another lovely satosugu work! :)

I absolutely love how real and tangible your writing is - seeing them start with different states of being turned on and building together really paints such a lovely picture of what intimacy is without the expectation of a perfect start-stop :) 3 cheers to realistic sexual dynamics!

Also, I think that your link at the end of your post goes to Violent Delights instead - but maybe that's just an issue on my end!

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback (and the heads up about the link), I can't tell you how much your words cheered me on Friday! They came at a time I really needed to hear them so, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this ask as an opportunity to say a few things about my writing and why I do what I do — no obligation to respond!

Quite honestly, I have been feeling a little anxious about how I'm perceived as a writer recently. When Over the Threshold started gathering some steam in January, I only had five published works on AO3 posted over the course of six months. By the end of August, I'll have 18 published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, 16 of which will be complete. I have never been this productive in a fandom before!

A lot of the reason for that is because I'm finally learning how to work with my AuDHD brain. I love writing, I really do, and I'm constantly excited by the possibilities that reside within my brain. I have more ideas than I have time or hands to write them, but I want to explore as many of those ideas as possible. In the past, I would have forced myself to stick to the thing that I was "supposed" to write, rather than following the burst of inspiration and writing the thing that I "wanted" to write. To no one's surprise, that usually meant I ended up writing nothing at all.

I'm someone who seeks out challenges, and all the fics I've published in 2024 have been experimental in some way. Come Get Your Honey was a challenge in extended metaphor. Balance was a challenge in seamlessly blending two very different universes. Mailman AU was a challenge in format. Violent Delights was a challenge in pushing myself to new and uncomfortable places. Thunder was a challenge in encapsulating an entire world and history within a single motif without ever actually seeing that world and history.

I'm really proud of every single one of those works, as well as the speed I've written them at. I've published 92k words on AO3 already this year and written far more, so I feel like I can no longer justifiably call myself a slow writer. However, all the works mentioned above have artistic merit in the more traditional sense — i.e. they're not smut.

At the time of writing this, three of my five most recent works contain sexual content with varying degrees of explicitness, and it's hard to escape that pervasive (and flawed) idea that smut is "less serious" as a form of writing. Even writing smut in the first place has been a slow process of overcoming some of my own biases. However, sex is part of the spectrum of human experiences, and it's also deeply political. Whenever I explore it in my writing, you can be sure that I always have that at the forefront of my mind. That's why these works, too, have represented something new and challenging and exciting for me.

Discreet Delivery was the first piece containing explicit sexual content that I ever shared publicly and, with how rife top/bottom discourse is in this fandom (most of which is based on heteronormative ideals that I vehemently disagree with), I really wanted to make a statement straight out of the gate. I'm very proud of how I managed to weave a switch/vers narrative into a oneshot, and the feedback on it was wonderful.

Headroom, however, presented a very different kind of challenge. It was extremely difficult to write, because it doesn't follow the beats of a traditional sex scene. There's no satisfaction for Satoru nor for the readers, and that made it tricky to keep it engaging. I was also very nervous about showing a different side of these beloved AU characters and establishing a new dynamic between them while incorporating some of the broader themes from Over the Threshold.

Finally, Tell Me I'm Pretty was pure subversion, writing Suguru in particular in a way I've never seen before to challenge expectations about "roles" in sex. It meant I had no blueprint to work from, but I'm not interested in reproducing the same dynamics I've read a thousand times. However, that also means that I felt very anxious about how people would receive this fic — especially on GeGo Day.

The truth is, everything I write I write for myself first and foremost, but it's hard to keep sight of that when you're blessed with an engaged audience. This is a huge reason why updates to Over the Threshold take time. This fic is deeply important and deeply personal to me, but its growing popularity adds a pressure that I don't want to influence my writing. I feel a constant underlying need to outdo myself with every new fic and chapter I post, but that's unrealistic and unachievable.

Obviously, I want readers to enjoy what I write, but I know the moment I start writing for other people is the moment my writing suffers. That's the main reason why I'm reluctant to put anything behind a paywall, even if I feel frustrated with the way fanfics are casually consumed on the internet. Readers occasionally make demands of me without any respect for my time and effort and creative vision, and sometimes I look at what I've written and think, "Am I really going to give that away for free?". However, asking for anything beyond tips would change the game for me. Enjoying my writing is far more valuable to me, at least at this point in time.

All of this is to say: I really loved writing Tell Me I'm Pretty. I had a blast with it — until it came time to post, at which point I suddenly felt full of self-doubt. For you to appear in my inbox and tell me that you appreciated the realism of the intimacy in this fic? I couldn't have asked for anything more, thank you so much ♥️

TL;DR, I write for myself, but god, it's the best feeling in the world when readers resonate with my writing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I love you all to the moon and back!

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I don't know why this came to my mind, but I'm imagining a world where CrubblesJean was a thing, and now the great-grandchildren of Harry and Jean are on social media and like, "Oh, ha! My grandpa found all these letters my great-grandparents sent to each other during the war!"

"Awwww, so cute! They were best friends with this guy Joey who my great-grandpa met in navigator training!"

"My dad just yelled something about polyamory from the living room??? What????"

"OMFG MY GREAT-GRANDPARENTS WERE IN A POLYCULE WITH THIS JOEY GUY AND NO ONE EVER TOLD MY DAD!!!"

comment: omg how did you not know

creator: i don't ask my family how my great-grandparents fucked. are you fucking weird.

comment (same person): i mean, like, did this guy not come to holidays?

creator: No, there's tons of photos of him. There's one of him holding me. Just everyone called him 'Uncle Bubbles' so I thought he was my great-uncle.

comment (different person #1): BUBBLES????

creator: call sign thingie, I think??? I don't know. He wasn't a pilot, so I'm not sure if it's still a call sign, but he's always talking about as Uncle Bubbles.

comment (different person #3): Wait. Is it Bubbles Payne, by chance? From Kentucky? group nav for the Bloody 100th before the role was handed to Harry Crosby, and then they worked together as co-group nav because of the intensity of the work in the 100th?

creator: ...My dad wants to know who the fuck you are.

comment (#3): I'm not weird; I just have a special interest in WW2 air battles. My great-grandpa was a mechanic on B-17s. Not with the 100th, but apparently everyone knew about them. He wrote a whole book he never published with all the info he could find. I read it.

creator: Oh. Cool. Okay. Dad says that yeah, those are the names.

comment (#3): Oh, neat! I think there's a bunch of queers from the 100th, actually. Here's a whole secret queer history of the military that names a bunch of them (link).

creator: Okay, now my GRANDPA is yelling because he didn't know some of these and is on the phone with people getting mad about not being told about "all the gays" (not in a mean way).

"Update: Turns out the extended family friend network is super fucking queer going back to at LEAST World War 2. I think I win queer history?"

comment (anon): You shouldn't use the q-slur.

creator: Thank you for giving me the reason to use a phrase I have only recently learned my great-grandma wrote in letters: If I wanted your opinion, I'd throw myself into the ocean with rocks in my pockets.

[goodboyaudios]

i’m evil like that muahaha~ also!!!!! congratulations on 40k!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m sure you’ll be getting way more recognition in the future:D

since you gave permission:

you said you’re finishing off uni, did you always know what you wanted to study? i’m at the (depressing) stage in life where i’m fully realizing how many curve balls life throws at you:) the path to success usually isn’t linear, so i’m curious about your journey!

it seems like you’re always asking for feedback or addressing issues, etc. do you have any feedback for us (as in, the community)? most people i’ve interacted with are pretty chill, but idk maybe there’s we could improve on?

this one might be a bit personal, so feel free to ignore! do your friends or family know about your channel/work? i’d imagine it’d be nice to have someone you could bounce ideas off of before publishing stuff! if not, how do you manage to hide all that stuff hahah~. you’ve built an entirely different universe, so i refuse to believe a sane man can keep all of that in his head and live a normal life simultaneously:p

if you could befriend any oc of yours, who would it be and why?

i’m not sure how to word this question properly, but are there any endings/plot points that you had initially envisioned differently? like, did you think a story was going one way and changed your mind half ways through?

you don’t have to answer all of these! you did ask for it, but i hope i’m not overwhelming you haha~

Absolutely not. School didn't do anything to prepare me for the world. My college has done less than nothing in preparing me to get a job in my field, YOUTUBE HAS DONE MORE FOR ME THAN COLLEGE AT THIS POINT and if I'm completely honest with you? That's fuckin sad. No, I had no idea what I wanted to do and I wish I was that kind of person who knew right out the gate. (lucky bastards) Okay, I'm done with my rant lol

I didn't know what field I wanted to study in, so I took a chance and jumped into something I knew I had some knowledge in and hoped for the best. Really that's all you can do. I have learned that, when you get out of highschool and you don't know what to do, do everything until something sticks. Trial and error. It's not the most efficient, but it works!

Any feedback to GIVE to the community? Let me think. Honestly, the community has been very wonderful to me. Occasionally something pops up, but it's usually squashed. The discord server is full of wonderful and creative and talented people who have always had my back and support the work I do. I hear all the time about drama in fellow creator servers and toxic behavior in the communities, etc...but my end of things has always been super nice! (that might have something to do with my lack of NSFW content) But yeah! No notes really! Everything good in our little neighborhood!

My family is aware AND so is my extended family lol! They are supportive, but they don't really give me ideas to bounce off. I have other fellow writers and creatives or that! And I do write everything down and go back to it in case I forget something. But typically speaking its all in my head, yep! I just...don't know how to do other things! Like...dress fashionably or...function in a normal society...you know useless stuff like that!

Zed. He needs a friend lol

Only with Bastard Warrior actually! Every story, I envision how I want it to end first, but with Bastard Warrior, I had thoughts of changing it because it was supposed to be enemies to lovers, yet the canon ending isn't Albus getting with Faith. So, I made 3 endings to appease everyone lol

Hope I got all of the them lol!

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Ginsei Shinpachi Short Story

This story was originally published in B's-LOG 2020年6月号.

Hakuoki Tsukikage B’s Log 2020年6月 Shinpachi Short Story “Uzuki (卯月)” [which means the 4th month of the lunar calendar]

Translation by KumoriYami

"An eye for green leaves, The Mountain Cuckoo The First Bonito [*see endnotes]"

As I suddenly remembered these five-seven-five stanzas , I stopped the hand which was cutting vegetables to recite it.

The stimulating aroma of food filled the kitchen in the daytime.

In response to my sudden statement, Chizuru, who was dissolving miso paste in that moment next to me, was startled.

"Those sentences just now, have you heard them before?"

"I've heard it in Edo. The vibrant green leaves, the chirping cuckoos, and the leaves are also vibrant, the cuckoos are chirping, and the season for catching bonito [type of fish]—That's a haiku that celebrates spring, right?"

"That's right!

"If you're from Edo, you can't help mentioning it, because it's a symbol of spring [refers to the f! Speaking of which…"

I clenched my fist at Chizuru, who still seemed confused, and spoke.

"Chizuru! I believe we should have the first bonito now!"

".......Huh?......"

"Fortunately, I don't have any patrol work today. If not at noon, can we have it at dinner/I can't have dinner without lunch, right [not sure bout the latter sentence]?

After speaking enthusiastically about my passion for bonito.

Chizuru-chan looked at me with a troubled expression in response to my wilful words.

"Um, Well, I understand how you feel... but if you were in Edo, it might be possible, but it's hard to find bonito on the streets of Kyoto..."

I understand your feelings… but, while that would be fine in Edo, it's extremely difficult to buy bonito on the streets of Kyoto..."

"That's right..."

I forgot that Kyoto was located far inland and distant from the sea, and that there were only rivers and lakes, like Lake Biwa, and bonito cannot live in rivers…

"I think it'd be hard to find bonito, but what about something else? I'd like to do that to help you."

After accepting Chizuru-chan's proposal, we began searching separately.

"Yo, Sano! I'm trying to find a first of the season [the tl I'm referencing just says "first thing" but i modified my translation based on what what "hatsumono" is, which usually refers to the first of the season for produce, catch (as in fish), etc.], so can't you provide some sake?"

"What first of the season. We drink all year round, right?"

"Hijikata-san, can you give me for the first of the season?"

"I don't have a first of the season… right, I can give you a lecture on your lifestyle."

"Uh... you're always unromantic…"

After leaving headquarters, and wandering around the streets, I had absolutely no results. Should I just give up?

"Nagakura-san, I found a first of the season!"

The one who saved me walked like a goddess. Her hands lifted the bamboo shoots in her hands, which had been dirtied by soil. Her cute face was covered in dirt/mud.

I suddenly understood how much she had gone through, and I couldn't help but feel warmth swelling up inside my heart.

Chizuru-chan grilled the bamboo shoots she found as a first of the season.

Each time they were grilled, a fragrance wafted over. It really was a good choice.

"But, why did you say you wanted the first of the season?"

I scratched my face

With her asking that, I scratched my face.

"…Uh, that was… some people say that eating the first of the season can extend your life by 75 days. In this sort of life, when you don't know when you'll die, I hope everyone can eat this."

She seemed to understand my answer and smiled.

"...Nagakura-san, you're very kind/gentle."

"Th-That's right! Then I'll grill these first and give them to everyone! I really want to see their surprised faces!"

---end---

The haiku at the start of the story is by Yamaguchi Sodo, which was written in Edo, 1678 and reads:

目に青葉 (Me ni aoba)

山ほととぎす(yama hototogisu)

初鰹 (hatsu-gatsuo)

The printed story contains those exact lines but I copied the English translation and took the information on it from : https://matsuobashohaiku.home.blog/2021/07/06/the-signs-of-summer-1678/

[thirteenemeraldcats]

I come bearing random fic asks! 1) tell us about your current wip(s)! 2) what's your writing process like? 3) I think you mentioned you have a background in psychology — how much does that influence your writing?

Hello my beautiful friend!!

Thank you so much for sending me these! I have been sitting on this for days because I wanted to banish 'thought that i was young' from my WIPs before answering lol

1.) Now that THAT'S published (and taken most of my WIP wordcount with it *sad violin noises*) there's 3 fics I'm actively poking at, the chunkiest is a Sam-and-Jamie-BFFS-agenda-6-conversations-they-might-have-had-and-one-they-definitely-didn't which I'm pretty sure I've posted a snip of SOMEWHERE before whoops. The working title was too long for me to cope with, to the extent that it managed to override my inability to make my mind up about anything, and is now called 'i said, maybe' - a line I've gleefully pinched from Wonderwall by Oasis! I like it for this fic because *gestures at working title* BUT ALSO Wonderwall is the song Sam sings at karaoke in 1x07 'Make Rebecca Great Again' and the Manchester connection tickles me greatly!

There's a non-angsty, short-ish (I'm honestly shocked) fic that fell out of my brain nearly fully formed a couple of weeks ago (because almost everyone I knew was either talking about or having birthdays) which ALSO has a title 'because he had no say in it (no say in it at all)', which is almost definitely going to be posted next (and hopefully a LOT sooner than the time-space between 'i learned to walk while he was away' and 'thought that i was young').

The only other thing I'm actively poking at right now is in the outline stage, it is also short-ish (please PLEASE stay that way) but is back to the angst-fest that is apparently all my brain wants to spit out. It's Jamie-centric. It involves a cat :)

2.) Honestly at this point my writing process is best described as:

(sound warning)

ANYWAY

(My actual answer about my writing process is that I love planning. Very much. Stretching the dough into spaghetti is where the problem lies 🫠)

3.) I do indeed have a background in Psychology! Like any undiagnosed-in-denial-17-year-old-DUMBASS, I studied Psych right out of high school due to a combined and truly harebrained motivation of 'what IS going on up there' and 'wow I love systematically studying, analysing and mimicking human behaviour [no underlying NOTHING going on up there no siree]' and wound up with a four year degree. NOW, my background is purely theoretical, I have never been registered as/worked as a Psychologist, so I'm not violating any ethical codes by using my knowledge for evil applying my Psych training to fictional stories/characters. Because the answer to 'how much does that influence your writing' is. SO MUCH. Not necessarily intentionally, there's only one fic in the extended-mountainous-WIP-pile that's explicit about Psych stuff (I'm giving Dani Seasonal Affective Disorder whoops), but psychology is one of those fields that once you're trained in it you can't really ever un-know it. Unfortunately for me, and everyone that I meet, there's forever a predisposing/precipitating/perpetuating/protective biopsychosocial model being drawn up in my head whenever someone exhibits any kind of behaviour my forebrain finds moderately interesting. (This doesn't happen with online friends DON'T WORRY [in truth it's only because I can't physically see you all- I AM SO SORRY- I am not in control of this]).

Honestly, I think a big part of it is just that my particular brand of pattern-recognition-AuDHD has been granted auto-inserted citations and gone mad with power.

Take Jamie, beloved stress ball that he is, he has so much psycho-analysis potential that I'm forever torn between wanting to write a dissertation on the various comorbidities that could be floating around in that guy's head, having a Watsonian v Doylist argument with myself about ~artistic intentions~, having to suspend disbelief for the sake of storytelling because I've been cursed with knowledge (gleefully and enthusiastically sought out and paid for knowledge) and just wanting to enjoy the story/character as they're presented/as I'm writing it.

Applying actual Psychology to fictional characters is like trying to tie a balloon to a moving rollercoaster, for the simple fact that they're not real; their actions and motivations and reactions are scripted and rehearsed and performed.

I'm doing it anyway :)

[halfmoth-halfman]

mother mothie i am asking you very nicely to please pretty please put the writing tools down !! i don’t have enough money to pay for an extra therapy session!!!

on a real note

my god. the whole dynamic between canary and adler ??? perf. perf. down to a tea perfect, my own daddy issues are going crazy. i think it’s very important that it’s adler who reminds canary that she needs to feel this hate, she obviously has loads of issues with him about his parenting but i think it had to be him to remind her she’s a fighter. that she’s an adler and she should kick some ass.

i feel really bad for canary though, adler clearly and very horribly blames canary for her mothers death which clearly was adlers fault 😐 projecting much russel????

graves needs to get slapped, he needs to be put in his place by canary. i want her lovely healed self to stroll into the police station with shepherd there and be like ‘i’m not dead bitch!!’ and get john out of there. but also how does that work????? if johns arrested for her murder, that means that graves has spun the lie that canary’s dead. which she’s clearly not? does that mean he just shot her and left???

coward behaviour icl 😫

i’m so sorry i’m rambling but that was a masterpiece of a chapter; literal art.

you’re feeding us so good mother mothie and it was totally worth waking up at 6am to read after it was published 4am in my time zone 🩷🩷

– 🪼

asdfklsajdf i'm sorry 😂

i think i said this in another ask, but i imagine canary and adler to have a very olivia pope/papa pope from scandal kind of dynamic. i think really it only could've come from adler. he raised her, he knows her best, what makes her tick, how to get under her skin. he's the only one who she would listen to, albeit reluctantly, about getting her revenge. and despite her problems with him, she knows on some level that he's right; she's an adler, and she should be giving everyone hell.

to me, adler is very much a "don't dwell on your problems, figure out how to solve them and move on" kind of guy, and that extends to his wife's death. he needs to keep going and move on, so instead of taking responsibility and mourning properly, he channeled his feelings into blame on his daughter and moved on. he knows it's wrong, but he needed it to be true to be able to keep going.

graves needs to on his knees begging for his life tbh, that man has been nothing but trouble. it'll be interesting to see where canary goes from here, because her not being dead is sure to cause all kinds of chaos and problems but that can be used to her advantage if she plays it smart. having the element of surprise is a pretty big advantage for her.

don't ever apologize for rambling, i love the long messages and all of the theories!!! it's what i'm here for: to feed y'all and give you tons of anxiety ;)

[bamber344]

I've just realised that now that I know I'm not gonna use this draft for any real publishing until it's edited to oblivion to compensate for the new book 1, I don't have to be so stingy about sharing snippets anymore!

so, because I'm in a good mood, have an extended snippet of Addison and Dahlia being really gay

Dahlia was practically on top of her by that point, but now that Addison’s arm wasn’t trapped anymore, she had free reign to place a hand on Dahlia’s shoulder and gently push back, breaking them apart. “D-Dollie, wait…” Addison panted. She could feel her heartbeat echoing throughout her body, especially downstairs. Her entire being ached to keep going, but she needed to get one thing straight first. “What’s wrong?” Dahlia asked. Her lips were red and kiss-bruised, and her pupils were completely blown out, leaving only the thinnest stripes of yellow at the edges of her eyes. She looked like a puppy, especially with the way her tail was slowly wagging back and forth in the air behind her. “I-I just… I need to make sure that… that this isn’t just a physical thing. I don’t- I- I can’t, do casual. I just… I can’t do this if it’s casual.” Addison already felt so much for Dahlia. She didn’t think she could take falling in love if Dahlia didn’t feel the same, and being physically intimate with her was a one way ticket down that road. Dahlia smiled softly. “Who said anything about casual? I’ve wanted to do that since the day we met, and my feelings have only grown since then. I’m in this for the long haul, baby.” Addison exhaled, expelling her nervous feelings with a breath. “That’s good to hear. I feel the same.” Dahlia leaned down and gently kissed her nose. “Don’t worry, I know. Your erection’s been poking into my hip for the past five minutes.” If it was possible for Addison’s face to become any hotter, it would’ve caught alight. She forced the embarrassment down. Dahlia wasn’t just a coworker or a friend anymore; that sort of thing was okay. Besides, going from the look on Dahlia’s face, she definitely didn’t mind. Addison coughed. “W-well, that seems like a good segue into mentioning that I’d like to take this slow, if that’s okay? I just… I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. I want to do this right.” “That’s fine,” Dahlia said. She leaned down and kissed Addison’s burnt cheek. “You set the pace.” She kissed the other cheek. “I’m just happy to be here.” Finally, she planted a kiss firmly on Addison’s lips, pulling back with a satisfied grin. The treatment made Addison smile. “You really like kissing me, huh?” Dahlia shuffled down, laying on Addison’s chest with a weary sigh. “You don’t know how long I’ve been thinking about it. I have a lot to get out of my system.” Addison laughed. “Who would’ve known you were such a romantic?” “Literally everyone who knows me. Except for you, I suppose. I’ll have to fix that.” She lifted her head back up. “You want breakfast?” Addison smiled. “Please. Also, I really need to use the bathroom, and I can’t do that with you on top of me.” Dahlia pouted. “Just one more kiss?” Addison rolled her eyes, but a smile crept across her face nonetheless. It was almost hard to believe that anyone could like her this much. “Fine.”

ah, as imperfect as it is, i'm gonna be sad once i have to edit over all of this. I adore these two sm <3

[sitzfleischh]

Ok I only just caught up on Ted Lasso & plunged into the online hyperfixation/deep-diving two days ago so apologies if other people have already said this but-- so far I've been seeing a lot of people being like "oh Ted is going to go back to Kansas at the end blabla Rebecca endgame" and sure, Ted/Rebecca endgame is realistic but like... We know they're not ending up in Kansas, right? We have two episodes left, this show's whole thing is "Rom Communism." They will be using them to confirm to classic romcom structure where the penultimate ep is about everyone making the wrong choices and everything going to shit, so that they can have big realizations and make the right choices in the finale.

So, my official predictions are:

Penultimate episode

Man city faceoff, total football comes together and they win, hooray! Everyone is cheering but Ted feels out of it, feels like they don't need him anymore. This ep being called "mom city" also makes me think they're going to bring in Jamie's mom as a foil to his dad and start talking about mom stuff, maybe giving us some perspective from mother characters about their side of parenthood (maybe if we're lucky we get more of Roy's sister!) and continuing the motherhood theme for Rebecca

Maybe there's some kind of tie-in with Michelle and Jake, I feel like they were setting up that those two are actually breaking up, which is going to make Ted feel like he should get back with Michelle, even though that's obviously the wrong choice. Part of me thinks the "unexpected guest [that] has Ted on edge" could be Michelle, post-breakup? Maybe him getting distracted means the other coaches step up and win the game without much help from him, which ties into him feeling un-needed.

The tying up of loose-ends with other characters' plotlines leads to Ted deciding he isn't needed here anymore and should go back to Kansas, episode ends on his return

Final Episode

Called "no place like home"

Trent wears James Lance's Dorothy shoes T Shirt

There's some kind of extended wizard of oz homage, probably someone makes a joke about Jamie not having a brain

Ted is back in the states but he's not feeling it, keeps seeing things that remind him of Richmond

Trent Crimm's book gets published, or maybe he emails a draft of it to Ted or something for approval-- either way the writers get to do a Trent Crimm as mouthpiece thing where he narrates from his book while we see shots of characters / Ted doing stuff and having realizations

Prompted by reading Crimm's book, Ted realizes that there IS no place like home, but his home is Richmond now and he needs to go back-- not because the team needs him, but because he needs the team. Ted's character arc comes to a close with him finally asking for help and taking the support of his found family in Richmond, letting them use the Ted Lasso Way back at him.

Maybe Rebecca and Ted get together, or maybe (in my ideal scenario) Rebecca adopts a kid or something of that sort and becomes a single mother-- she realizes she doesn't need anyone else's permission / won't be completed by love

This one is also more of a dream scenario but I like the idea that they would lean into the "single parents are valid" theme that seems to have been set up, and have Ted, Trent, Roy and Roy's sister, and Rebecca all together in a scene with their kids, supporting each other

Obviously there's still a lot I haven't covered here, like what happens with Nate, with Colin (& what happens with Trent beyond like.. he writes his book lol), with Keeley and Roy (I don't think they're endgame either), etc. But these are the most solid predictions I have about what's going on structurally and thematically. I have hopes and dreams for stuff (mostly more Trent content because I love him and just want to watch a show with him as the main character lol) but I don't want to jinx anything so I'm just assuming we get some good background content like usual, and probably a great book-reading narration.

[uglypastels]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @eddiemunsons80sbaby 💖💖

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

My main posting site is tumblr, on which I have 387 titles in my masterlists, (443 individual writing posts if seperating multi-chaptered stories).

Then i've reposted 40 of these titles on AO3 and 10 on Wattpad.*

*Counted since 2018

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

40 fics - 518,511 words total

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for MCU (actors) and co, the Irregulars, Stranger Things and One Piece (live action).

4. What are your top 5 fics?

I'm going by individual posts, not accumulated interactions through series.

Following the Herd

"Wearing His T-Shirt" blurb

"Overcoming the Nerves" blurb

Heaven and Hell

The Special

5. Do you respond to comments?

I always try my best to reply as soon as possible wether its an ask, reblog or comment. (Excluding wattpad, as i see that more like people annotating their reading and generally don't want to bother them. But i do always read them and appreciate them, and if something stands out or if someone comments a lot i will respond)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh i once killed reader off dramatically lol ("Car Crash" blurb) but I think the general reader's concensus would be Caught Me Slippin' , which I didn't even intend to make that angsty, but people cried (allegedly). And honestly, while i apologise for the emotional damage, i do take it as the highest compliment to be able to evoke such feelings.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my stories are quite happy and i'm not sure how to rate "happiness".

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I am actually surprised how scarce the hate is, and usually in the form of anons, because I always expect people to hate me. But thats on insecurities. Honestly, writing on here has always been amazing.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. I hate it tho 😫 like, love smut in theory and concept but it's a bitch to write.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I love a lengthy and extended au, often inspired by other works (Not Wholly Evil is basically Stranger Things x Pirates of the Caribbean) but i think the only clear "crossover" i (remember to) have written would be Murder on the Dancefloor ??? which would be a tom holland x Strictly Come Dancing crossover lmao. I do often think about tv show crossovers in concept tho, but doubt i'll write any.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup. Shit sucks.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, but it was done without my permission and uncredited (which is still stealing!!) so that sucks.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've dabbled in co-writing, haha, several times avtually, but for one reason or another, none of the projects were ever published. Would love to one day actually fully co-write something with someone on here.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Ngl, i'm not sure I have one. Probably why all of my stories are 'x reader'.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point I think this about every single one of my WIPs and that's writer's block for ya.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm...i'd like to think the expression of emotion, showing how characters feel. And maybe world building- or thats at least my favorite thing in AUs. Maybe also details (either motives, references or foreshadowing)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm horrible at pacing. Always feel like i go too slow with the plot and then suddenly too fast and its all a mess, especially when it comes to series. Also just general knowledge on things; i feel like i don't know enough things to write about when it comez to daily and regular life, or even how to normally interact with people so that makes things hard when trying to be realistic. I also feel like i don't know enough words??? So things get really repetitive.

Oh, and this is also an aspect of writing- i'm horrible at getting feedback in the form of proofreading. It makes me physically sick having someone go through my work like that, and I barely do it myself. Which may result in some horrible typos/mistakes. And i do apologise profusely for that. Believe me, if you caught a mistake in my fic, i still think about it to this day.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in different languages?

Its always better if the writer is familiar with the language. Things you're comfortable with writing translate over better to the reader. It's like in movies/tv, its always better when you have an actor speaking a language they actually know. And if you don't know it, 1) ask yourself why are you writing it then and then 2) better research the hell out of it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My first fic, that has since been deleted for a long time, was on wattpad and it was for a youtuber lmao. (peak 2013/15 era, thats all i'm gonna say)

20. Favorite fic(s) you've written?

From my most recent, in no particular order:

Following the Herd (eddie munson)

The Special (Sanji)

Not Wholly Evil (Eddie Munson)

Biggest Fan (Buggy)

Headlights (Eddie Munson)

This was so much fun to do at 4/5 am haha. Thank you for the tag again. Here are some peeps i'll be tagging (no pressure) 💜

@mydearzero @spiderrrling @eddies-house @elvendria @josephfakingquinn

[twin-wolves-123]

a rant about writing. or my professor. maybe both.

I don't know who the hell will see this, the only thing my blog did in the past two months was collect 20 bot followers it looks like but

today (well yesterday, i'm writing this past midnight)

i had a class. It is my intro to fiction writing class.

I've responded to like, what one writing prompt on here? idk i think writing is fun, creative writing is cool, id like to be a better writer, i might like to do something with it someday, i grew up on ff.net if that means anything to people nowadays

My professor, im sure, is a very talented man. he's had published shit and is a "good writer"TM

we submitted short stories, like 10 pages ish for today's class. And one thing my professor did for the first student's story discussed today was ask, "Why did you write this?"

This kid wrote a story about the country hypothetically having a government replaced by AI. Work doesn't exist anymore, everyone is like partying, living it up or whatever and the story is about a character in college who basically felt like he worked hard his whole life for nothing and is, understandably, upset about the changes. College class gets suspended and nobody is like, doing anything with their life. It was pretty interesting. Most of the class agreed.

And when the kid responded that he was interested in how this one character would respond to a scenario like this, and he was interested in the development of a society like this given how popular ChatGPT is becoming and whatnot, the professor basically said that those answers weren't good enough.

What the fuck?

I still don't really understand the answer he was looking for, he did say something like it has to be, like, what the author is "trying to say", i guess what emotion or thought they're linking to the story

And so he eventually said, he was thinking that maybe a scenario like this could happen to him in the future.

ANd the professor goes, "Well if it's anxiety about not having a job in the future, why didn't you just write about that instead?" ANd then he proceeded to make several comparisons to other anxious scenarios that i felt were way off base, like getting a divorce...

What the hell? Like, he wrote about what he wrote about, what is the justification FOR writing about those other scenarios?

anyways, the kid whose story got discussed before mine he liked, I guess. It was about his immigrant father and one of his father's story which becomes an extended metaphor and like, growing up in the states as his son kind of- i won't go into too much detail. The point is, he liked it.

Because right after discussing his, he explicitly made a point. And I am not making this up. That he doesn't ask people who wrote "good" stories (and he said a qualified good, as in he also said he knows that they can't be good, but they're good for what they are, or whatever) why they wrote this, because those stories already have a right to exist on their own. And then he turns to me, and says very pointedly, "Why did you write this?"

What the fuck is your problem?

Like, if they wrote a good story good on them, if I wrote a shitty one oh well, but what is the point of you explicitly reiterating that point to the entire class to emphasize how bad my story was? How does that help me? Before you've even actually given me any valuable feedback?

I wrote a story about a wannabe filmmaker who recruited two talented actors to help him make a short film to submit for a film competition. So i told him why i wrote this. I had a scene in my head that I wanted to continue about a shitty filmmaker getting yelled at by the actor (after the director is trying to critique how the actor played one scene), who is much more talented than him, and I wanted to flesh out this character. "Why? Why did you want to flesh this out?" he asks. And I talk about wanting to write about someone with very little talent working hard, sucking, but potentially being able to make something out of it. "Why?" Because it's relatable? "Everything is relatable. Why did you write this? Why are you writing this about movies?" Because making movies requires technical skill that's difficult to learn on your own, and I thought it was fitting. "Everything can be difficult to learn. Why is the story not about music, or someone getting their grades up?" No matter what answer I gave, he wasn't satisfied. (this is going back to the first kid he critiqued, too. It's not the story because that's not what I wrote? I didn't find that as interesting, and those aren't the stories I wanted to tell?) I didn't say that, i eventually just answered, "I don't know how to answer your question. I don't know what form my answer should take if I shouldn't have written the story for those reasons."

So he eventually changes it to, what am I trying to accomplish with the story, or make the reader feel? So i answer: sympathy and hope.

This is another part that really fucking grinds my gears.

So he asks, "Why is this not a comedy?"

What?

And basically he talks about how, he thought it was comical. This nincompoop (he used this word) director who hasn't put in the work trying to make a film with these actors who do know what they're doing, like, yeah. That's fair. He deserves to get yelled at. Why should the reader feel sympathy for him? I think it's funny. Why wouldn't anyone be annoyed by this character? Haven't you been annoyed by people like that?

First of all, maybe I don't think like that? Why is that your first instinct?

And i respond to him that i can be annoyed, but I can still be sympathetic toward them? Why do those have to be mutually exclusive?

And the question that I still have in my head is, what? Yes, he hasn't put in the work YET, but the point is that he's new and trash at this. And how the fuck is someone supposed to get BETTER at anything if they're not given a chance to try?

Is this really what you think of other people?

I do ask him how I was supposed to make the reader sympathetic toward him, to which he does give a couple of answers, like be more in the filmmaker's head, or have the actors be worse rather than talented (but that's not the point of my story... they're supposed to be more experienced than he is...)

But this whole time, he's still pretty much just been asking me the question, "Why?" Or "Why not x other thing?"

He critiqued some of my awkward dialogue and descriptions, sure, which was some actual advice. But not one thing he's said during that constant asking of "Why?" has been valuable feedback for what I put down on the page, nor has it made me a better writer.

And like, I eventually pose to him my own question of, "I don't have an answer to why NOT it's about those things (like the music or the grades thing), but I don't understand why it HAS to be, and why it can't be what I wrote about."

And he then goes, "have you been on a movie set?" And talks about how, if I write a story in a world of movies, I have to be convincing enough that I know what I'm talking about. Like how to make a movie, the lighting, the process, the set, etc. And if I can't be, it's not smart to write the story about that to begin with (which you could've just said in the first place and moved on to critiquing my actual writing, I feel like?).

This part, he has a point that I understand. But now I'm left with, am I only supposed to write about things I'm already very familiar with? I can't write about imagined scenarios or anything outside my field of expertise? Because I feel like that's just so limiting. And I, frankly don't have mastery in many fields. So I just, can't write about anything? What?

He also didn't give feedback for me on anything past the first scene.

tldr.

Yes, I'm an amateur, I don't see how you making a point of how garbage my story was compared to the last one helps with that.

Why should people not be given a chance to better their skills? Isn't that the point of this whole class, actually?

And I have no real refutation for the last thing: yes a story is better and more believable if the writer has specific knowledge about certain aspects of the story but... Something about that just doesn't sit right with me. Wouldn't the world be deprived of a lot of really amazing work if people could ONLY write about things they're extremely familiar with? I'm sure you're a great writer and all, and I'm sure that, as an amateur, there's a lot that I maybe can't understand, but why can't people write about what they want to write about? Why can't people explore certain characters or scenarios because they find them interesting? Why can't people tell the stories they WANT to tell?

Why is that insufficient?

plus you spending half an hour asking why i wrote something when i already wrote it, asking "why" again to each answer i give that you deem insufficient, instead of actually going over better writing technique, how to do plot/characters, and critiquing what's on the damn page...

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass. Maybe this is just me being too amateur or immature to understand, but there has to be a better use of time than that.

[legends-of-time]

The Journey of Living at Downton

Chapter 40: Late September 1924

Masterlist

Emma is at breakfast with Robert, Tom, Edith, and Rose, attended by Mr Carson when Mr Molesley brings in a telegram on the salver and hands it to Mr Carson. Emma watches curiously to see him take it to Edith, who is talking to Rose. Surprised, she takes it and opens it. She looks horrified at what she reads there. The rest of them exchange uneasy looks. Nobody says a word because they all know what this is, what it likely is.

Her editor is on his way to see her which can only mean one thing.

Since Tom is busy with meetings, Emma joins Cora, Mary, Edith, Robert, and Rose for lunch. Edith is dreadfully pale and silent, and the atmosphere is very subdued.

"Do we know when he'll get here?" Mary asks her father.

"Later this afternoon." Cora replies.

Thankfully Robert changes the topic. "I should have some drawings for you all to look at before too long."

"What sort of drawings?" Rose asks.

"Ideas for how we could renovate the run-down houses in the Village."

"Why is there such a building spurt?"

"Because the war showed how half the population were very badly housed." Emma replies.

"They were shocked by how unhealthy some of the new recruits were." Robert explains. "'You cannot expect to get an A1 population out of C3 homes.'"

"Who said that?" Cora asks.

"I think it was on a poster." Robert admits. Rose and Emma share an amused smile at that.

"I heard from Charles today. He and Tony are competing in the point-to-point at Canningford on Saturday." Mary tells them.

Emma looks at Mary curiously. Tony Gillingham? Honestly, Emma is getting sick of hearing the man's name. He's one of these men who seem to not understand that when a woman says no, she means it.

"Atticus was talking about that." Rose adds.

Emma looks at her curiously. "Atticus?"

"Atticus Aldridge, the chap I met in York."

"Has he become a friend?" Cora asks.

"Yes, he has, rather." It's Mary that Emma shares an amused smile with this time. "His parents, the Sinderbys, have bought Canningford Grange."

"And now they're wooing the county." Robert remarks. "Lord Sinderby's rich, isn't he?"

"Who'd take it on if they weren't?" Mary points out.

"Well, why don't we all go, make a day of it?" Rose suggests.

"Yes, we could ask Granny and Isobel and take the children." Mary agrees. "Emma?"

Emma nods. "Why not. I'm sure Dr Clarkson will survive without me for one day. Be good to have an outing with the children."

Mary turns to her mother. "Shall I tell Charles they can stay here?"

"Of course, if you want them to."

All this time, Edith is suffering through what must sound like completely meaningless chatter to her.

"When this fellow arrives, it would be nice if you could leave Edith and me to see him on our own." Robert says.

——

The editor arrives as he said he would. Emma can't help but linger outside the Drawing room, anxiously waiting to hear that Michael Gregson is officially dead. To hear what they all expect and dread.

Her pacing up and down the Great Hall is paused when the editor exits followed by Robert. Emma can tell be is his face that it's true.

Edith emerges then and Emma hurries over and wraps her in a hug. It takes a moment before Edith returns it. After a short while, Edith pulls away.

"I think I need some air." Edith says.

"I'll come with you." Emma offers.

Edith shakes her head. "No, no I want to be on my own." She looks on the verge of tears.

——

Emma goes to her shirt at the Hospital that evening in a daze. They have been thinking Michael was dead for over two years but to hear it confirmed makes Emma's heartbreak and as she thinks of the pain Edith is in and the pain Michael must've been in during his last moments. A silver lining is that Edith will inherit Michael's publishing company.

The next day, Emma learns that Sergeant Willis is coming back with the Inspector again but this time it is to see Miss Baxter of all people.

The day wasn't busy so Emma gets an extended lunch break. She takes the chance to go home and spend a short while with the children before heading out again. She's just coming down the stairs to go back to work when she hears someone call her name.

She turns to see that it is Thomas, holding a flat wooden box and looking like death warmed over twice at this point.

"Thomas?" She walks over to him slowly as if she's afraid she'll startle him and run away, which wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility.

"I need to talk with you, please?" He looks close to a total breakdown. His voice is shaking. Emma's heart breaks.

"Uh, yes. Yes, of course."

Thomas leads her up the stairs and into the attic before arriving outside the bathroom in the men's Servant Quarters.

He opens the door. "Come in here."

Emma having felt the nervousness build up inside her the entire time he's been following him, is hesitant to go in, but follows him inside. Thomas closes the door and bolts it, which makes Emma swallow heavily. Thomas puts the wooden case down on a dresser and opens it. Inside are a hypodermic syringe, glass phials and pill boxes. Oh, God.

"I'm sorry about this." He speaks.

"Go on. I can take it." Emma urges. She's here now so...

Thomas opens the fly of his trousers and pulls them down far enough so she can see the huge, inflamed abscess on his backside.

"Christ." Emma hears herself whisper as she struggles to look at it.

Thomas pulls his trousers back up. "I thought it would pass, but it just keeps getting worse. I can't sleep."

Emma feels tears well up in her eyes. "I'm not surprised."

"Help me." She stares at him in shock. "You were always asking if I need help. Well, now's your chance. I don't know what to do."

Emma swallows, gathering herself. "We're going to Dr Clarkson, now." Thomas looks down, accepting the inevitable. Emma talks in a fast and firm voice, taking charge. "And we'll show him the... syringe, and the liquid you've injected, all the pills you've been taking, all of it. Follow me down in five minutes, and we'll meet by the backdoor. And bring everything with you, do you understand?"

Thomas nods.

Emma needs to get out of here. She moves towards the door and opens it, but Thomas pushes it closed again.

"I've done something that I shouldn't have. And if you knew what it was, you wouldn't want to be part of this."

"I know what it was. Now, come down in five minutes." Emma replies.

——

Dr Clarkson is surprised when Emma returns to work with Thomas in tow, but when he realises the situation, he immediately gets to work with his examination. Emma hovers, assisting him when he needs it.

Emma has to hold back a sob as she hears Thomas explain what's been happening to Dr Clarkson. She's glad when Thomas moves behind the screen to get dressed in his clothes again.

"Well, that's all done." Dr Clarkson says to her as they wash their hands.

"So, it won't trouble him further?" Emma asks.

"Not as long as he stops poisoning himself." Dr Clarkson replies.

"You've had a look at the things he brought, then?"

Thomas steps out from behind the screen then.

Dr Clarkson turns to him. "You've been injecting yourself with a solution of saline. It obviously wasn't sterilised." He takes his coat off. "Repeated injections would cause fever, and abscesses at the site."

"Christ." Emma mutters.

"I assume this is a course of treatment you've spent money on?" Dr Clarkson asks.

"Yes, a lot of money." Thomas replies. "I went to London for what they call electrotherapy. And the pills and injections were supposed to continue the process."

"The purpose of which was...?"

Thomas hesitates in replying, he glances over at Emma, who tries to give him an encouraging nod though she feels ready to cry as she knows the answer already.

"To change me. To make me more like other people. Other men." His voice is so low it's nearly a whisper.

Dr Clarkson has put his jacket back on and moves to stand behind his desk. "Well, I'll not be coy and pretend I don't understand. Nor do I blame you. But there is no drug, no electric shock, that will achieve what you want."

"You mean I've been taken for a mug."

"My advice to you, Thomas, would be to accept the burden that chance has seen fit to lay upon you. And to fashion as good a life as you are able. Remember - harsh reality is always better than false hope."

Thomas nods.

——

Dr Clarkson happily gives Emma the rest of the day off so Emma joins Thomas in walking back to the house. It had begun to rain while they were inside.

"Well, that'll give you a good laugh." Thomas remarks.

Emma does not feel like laughing in the least. "It won't."

They step through the gate into the street. Thomas opens an umbrella and holds it for them both while they walk along through the Village.

"And I don't expect you to understand, but I think it shows you to be a very brave person." Emma says.

Thomas laughs. "What?" He says incredulously.

"To inflict such pain on yourself to achieve your goal. Think what you could do in this world if you just set your mind to it." Emma says, trying to find the silver lining in this whole situation.

Thomas looks at her, then laughs again. "You're daft, you know that?"

It takes a moment, but then she smiles back.

——

Emma joins Cora, Robert, and Rose in the Library. She sits across from Rose, who's reading a book, on a red settee with a book. Isis is lying listlessly on the carpet, with Cora in an armchair at her side, looking through a magazine. Robert is at the writing desk.

"Why did you finish work early?" Cora questions as Emma makes herself comfortable across from Rose.

Emma shrugs in what she hopes is a casual way. "Dr Clarkson said he didn't need me. He'll call if there's an emergency."

Rose looks up from her book. "I must telephone Atticus to warn him we're all coming."

"Why don't you ask him for dinner tonight if he's free?" Cora suggests.

Emma is happy with the change in conversation. "What a great idea."

"Could I?" Rose asks eagerly before realising and toning it down to what she likely hopes is casual. "I mean, just as a friend."

"Oh, just as a friend, absolutely." Cora says. She smiles knowingly with Emma. Rose eagerly runs out.

Robert comes ambling over to them and squats down to pat Isis. "I wish Isis would perk up. I might ask Stapeley to have a look at her."

"It can't hurt." Cora replies

"So, what's the plan with the cottages?" Emma asks.

"We've found the designs we're looking for." Robert replies as he strokes Isis' ears. "They are on the cheaper side, but since we would have to wait twenty years before be gain any real profit, I think it's worth it."

Emma nods. "The important thing is that people are in a good home."

"Precisely."

——

They are all gathered in the Drawing room before dinner, including Violet, Isobel and, for the first time, Atticus. All except Mary, who apparently has a surprise for all of them.

She calls from outside the door. "Is everybody ready?"

Everyone turns to look expectantly at the door. Emma sits near where Atticus and Rose are gathered near the fireplace, so she hears them talk to each other quietly.

"What is this?" Atticus asks in an undertone.

"Oh, it's my cousin Mary. She says she's got a surprise for us. You'll love her." Rose replies.

Atticus, while beaming, says, "I intend to love everybody."

Aw, young love.

"Ready or not, I'm coming in."

Thomas, who thankfully is beginning to look a bit better already, comes in and holds the door for her and Mary appears, sporting a new bobbed haircut. Everyone ohs and ahs.

"Pola Negri comes to Yorkshire!" Isobel remarks.

"Well, we really are living in the modern world." Cora echoes.

"Definitely suits you." Emma adds.

Robert, Tom, and Billy, who are in a corner of the room at a jigsaw puzzle game, look up in astonishment. Mary does a pirouette to show off her new hairstyle.

"Golly, I'm jealous." Rose says before gesturing to Atticus. "Mary, this is Atticus Aldridge."

Mary shakes his hand. "At last, Mr Aldridge. Rose has talked of nothing else."

"Oh, she's only teasing." Rose quickly butts in.

"Can't I take it as a compliment?" They're grinning at each other like idiots.

Mary turns to her grandmother. "Granny, what do you think?"

Violet looks at her unimpressed. "Oh. It is you. I thought it was a man wearing your clothes."

Emma's smile drops when she notices Edith, who sits quietly in a corner, the only woman wearing all black, looking very unhappy.

"Emma's right, it suits you." Tom complements.

Robert, however, is not even looking any more.

"Papa, do you agree?"

"It's certainly just the sort of thing I would expect of you." Robert says diplomatically.

Edith gets up and comes face to face with Mary.

"I suppose you disapprove?" Mary says to her sister.

Edith looks at her sister in disbelief and anger. "Not especially. I'm just amazed that even you would choose the day after I learn the man I love is dead to try out a new fashion."

"I don't believe that's quite fair." Cora says.

This doesn't stop Edith. "And if that weren't enough, you've planned a jolly picnic for Saturday. Am I really expected to join in?"

"Hopefully not, as you usually spoil everything." Mary says, irritated.

"Huh. Yes, I do. It seems I do." Edith says bitterly. "Goodnight, Mama. I'll have a tray in my room." She turns to Atticus. "I'm sorry, Mr Aldridge, but you might as well know what we're like." Edith walks out. Mary sighs. Atticus looks extremely uncomfortable.

"Poor darling. She's so unhappy." Cora says sympathetically.

"But she hasn't clapped eyes on him for years. She must have known long ago he was dead. We all did.

"It doesn't ease the pain, surely you of all people know that." Emma argues.

"Should we go on Saturday?" Isobel wonders.

"Please don't cancel." Atticus pleads.

"Rose and I are going, whether you're coming or not." Mary retorts.

"Maybe it would be good for her to have a bit of time on her own to think." Robert says.

"All this endless thinking. It's very overrated." Violet remarks.

"Oh, Aunt Violet, I do love you." Rose says awkwardly.

"I blame the war. Before 1914, nobody thought about anything at all." Violet gets to her feet as if to lead the way into the Dining room even though dinner hasn't been announced yet, but what would that matter to her?

——

Emma had already asked for the day off on Saturday.

Emma watches as people mill around on the Sinderby's new estate, waiting for the start of the steeplechase. A bookmaker is taking bets. The horses, with numbers on their saddlecloths, are being led to the starting point.

Emma had taken Ivy and Michael around. Both had stared at it all with wide eyes, bouncing with excitement.

A little later, a line of riders, both men and women, can be seen racing across a field and jumping fences. Emma joins Robert in watching the race through their binoculars at the edge of the canopy where they are joined by Cora, Isobel, Violet, Rose, Billy, Tony Gillingham, and Charles Blake at various tables.

Emma is anxiously chewing her lip the entire time, particularly when one of the riders is thrown. Emma joins in with the spectators in cheering as they approach the end point of the race.

Emma moves back to her seat. Charles is sitting next to her, dressed for riding, and looking like he's almost sick with nerves but he gives her a weak smile.

"I hope I will get that enthusiasm when I'm out there." He remarks.

Emma gives him a pitying smile. "Don't worry. I'll be your number one supporter."

Charles chuckles. "Where's Mr Branson?"

"This isn't exactly his scene." He'd also argued that he had a new tenancy contract to check and that he wanted to go through the figures for the repair shop. Emma wondered how necessary most of that is but she doesn't argue.

Robert moves to sit next to Isobel and Violet at the other table. He leans back to talk to Charles. "Well, I think you are very brave."

Charles looks like he would've scoffed if he wasn't so nervous. "Brave? I'm petrified. I don't even know the horse I'm riding."

"How long is the course?" Rose asks Tony.

"Three miles. Twice round a course of a mile-and-a-half, to sort of–" he gestures, "–where you can see that steeple over there."

A woman, also dressed in riding clothes, including breeches rather than the more traditional riding dress for women, comes walking in under the canopy. "Well, hello."

Tony looks at her in surprise. "What on earth are you doing here?" He seems familiar with this woman.

"What do you think? Riding a point-to-point." The woman replies. Tony kisses her cheek. Very familiar.

Robert stands up and walks over to them. "Won't someone introduce us?"

"Miss Mabel Lane Fox. Lord Grantham." Mabel nods pleasantly to Robert.

This gets Emma to sit up straight. This is Mabel Lane Fox?!

"Where are you staying?" Charles asks her, now standing.

"Last night I was with the Lawsons at Brough, but they're away tonight so I'll head back to London." Mabel replies.

"What a trek. You'll be exhausted." Blake remarks. Emma gives him a suspicious glance. Is he up to something?

"You're perfectly welcome to stay with us." Cora invites. "Lord Gillingham and Mr Blake will be there."

"Have you brought enough clothes?" Violet asks.

"Oh, I think so." Mabel remarks.

"I know so." Charles says. He and Mabel exchange a grin, the significance of which escapes everyone else, especially Tony though Emma gives them a suspicious glance. If he's trying to push Tony back to Mabel, Emma isn't complaining.

Mary and Atticus then arrive, also in riding gear, Mary in a skirt.

"What's this? Where have you been?" Robert questions

"Mr Aldridge and I fixed it last night. His nice parents let me change at the house." Mary explains.

"I do wish you'd call me Atticus." Atticus says.

"I must say I admire you." Robert says.

"It'd be a poor show not to ride at our own event."

"Quite right. I shall cheer you on." Rose beams. Atticus returns it.

"When did you decide to ride?" Billy asks Mary.

"Yesterday, when I was having my hair done in York." Mary says.

"What about a horse?" Robert wonders.

"Stephen rode Trumpeter over this morning. They're down by the starting post."

"This really does seem like too much of a coincidence. Are you stalking me?" Tony says to Mabel.

"I shall ignore that, as I'd hate to think of you as a vain man." Ugh, apparently being stalked is supposed to be taken as a compliment in these times.

"Well, you certainly know how to surprise."

"That sounds like a compliment. I must say hello to Charles." She walks past him towards Blake. Tony looks like he feels like an idiot but quickly brushes it off as he leans over to greet Atticus, who has taken a seat next to Emma. When Mabel arrives at Blake's table, he kisses her on the cheek. The two begin whispering together before she gives him a friendly pat on the arm. They are definitely up to something.

——

The steeplechase is still in full swing. It's the next group's turn, including Tony, Charles, Mabel, Mary, and Atticus.

Just outside the canopy, Robert is carrying George on his arm as he looks through a pair of binoculars. Next to him, Billy holds Sybbie, Emma with Ivy while Nanny is carrying Michael on her hip and pointing. Rose had gone off to cheer on among the spectators while Cora, Violet, and Isobel watch from inside the canopy.

They watch on as the participants climb onto their horses, getting ready to go.

"They're just about ready to go." Robert observes.

Sybbie looks towards her grandfather. "Let George look, Donk." Robert sighs at the nickname but holds the binoculars for George. The two-year-old frowns in concentration as he looks through them.

Sybbie turns back to the binoculars her father is holding for her. "Daddy, look! Aunt Mary!"

"I can see her too!" Ivy cries.

Emma laughs and Billy grins. "Very good." The latter says.

The riders and their horses ride to the starting post. Emma chews her lip anxiously. Here's praying for no accidents.

The riders line up. A man with a flag gives the signal to start, and they're off. The crowd cheers.

Ivy smiles and chatters happily in her mother's arms as they share a pair of binoculars between them. Ivy turns to look over her shoulder at Sybbie, gesturing and chattering to which Sybbie replies. Billy and Emma share a grin over their daughters' heads.

Mary is racing along with the best of them, overtaking Charles. Tony and Mabel are racing side by side. Emma can see that Mabel is laughing.

Mary sets her horse at a frighteningly high fence and takes it with ease. They soon arrive back at the starting post and slow down, finishing the first round. Mary is the first woman to finish. Emma claps and cheers with her children, Nanny, Robert, George, Billy and Sybbie.

——

Emma, Billy, Cora, and Robert emerge from the canopy as Mary, Blake, Rose, and Atticus go to meet them after getting some drinks.

"Well done, and thank God you're all back in one piece," Robert remarks. A tweed-clad couple comes walking towards them. "Who's this?"

"These are my parents." Atticus explains, before introducing everyone, "Mother, Father, this is Lord and Lady Grantham, Emma Branson, Billy Prior. Lady Mary you already know. Lord Gillingham, Mabel Lane Fox, Charles Blake and, of course, Rose."

Nods and bows all around.

"Lady Rose, how lovely to see you again." Lady Sinderby greets warmly. Good to see Rose is on good terms with her potential mother-in-law. "Why don't you all come back to the house to bathe and change?"

"I'm going to leave it until we get back to Downton but thank you." Tony replies.

"I can't tempt you to stay for dinner?"

"Not today, when we're all covered in dust. Why don't you all come to Downton tomorrow for dinner?" Cora invites.

"That seems rather an imposition." Lord Sinderby says.

"Not at all."

"Then we'd be delighted." Lady Sinderby accepts, looking almost pointedly at her husband.

"You haven't met my mother-in-law and our cousin, Mrs Crawley." Cora gestures at the two ladies, who have remained at their table under the canopy.

Lady Sinderby nods across to them. "Good afternoon." Her husband touches his hat.

——

Edith is gone. That's what Tom said when they all returned to Downton. She didn't tell him much, just that she needed to leave. He had offered to give her a lift somewhere but she had refused, saying she would take one of the cars to the Station and leave the keys with the station master.

Tom immediately offers to walk down to the Station to collect it. Emma hurries after her husband.

"Did she really not say why?" She questions him as he gathers his coat and hat.

"No, she didn't. She wouldn't say," Tom admits, "but it has to be about Michael Gregson, right?"

Emma frowns. "Suppose so. I can't help but think it might be something else as well."

"Like what?" Tom asks as he shrugs on his coat and places his hat on his head.

A little girl at the farm that Edith seems so attached to in recent months. One where she looked heartbroken at the idea of spending time away from her.

"I don't know I can't say, not just yet."

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

[soggykookiesandcream]

𝐵𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝒴𝑜𝓊 - 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒳𝒳

I scoff, "I gave that boy a chance to live and now he's on my throat."

"What, sir?" My secretary asks.

"Nothing," I fist my hands, "Get one of our men to join his team. Find out what he's planning."

"Yes, sir," he replies and leaves.

I throw my head back. I will kill that son of a-

"Baby Tae?" I hear her sweet voice.

"Yes, my dear," I smile.

"Can I come in?" She asks poking her head through the door.

"Yes, my dear," she hops into my office and sits on the couch.

"You can do your work," she says taking out her phone, "I'll just be here."

"No, my dear," I stand up and walk to her, "When you're with me, my entire attention will only be for you."

"You need to work, Tae," she says, "I'm afraid I'm holding you back from doing your job and duties."

I chuckle, "I'm performing my duties quite well." 

I'll make sure I do it perfectly. I'll make sure your sweet brother knows what and who he's messing with.

"I think I should go home," she says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Don't know," she shrugs.

"I know there's a reason," I sigh, "Tell me, dear."

"It's okay, Tae," she smiles, "Can I go home?"

"Of course, but I want to know why," I reply.

"I, uh," she pauses, "Some people don't like me much..."

"Who?" I ask in anger.

"It's okay," she cups my face and presses her forehead on mine, "I'm fine. Just let me go home. I'll take the bus or a cab."

"No," I deny, "I can't let you go without me."

"Tae, baby," she whines, "I'll be fine."

"No," I say sternly, "I'll drop you home."

"I can't do that!" She says, "I'm already such a huge distraction."

"Dear," I warn her, "You are no distraction."

"Your company needs you," she replies.

"So do you," I whisper. 

"You need me more than my company does. You need my protection from those dirty people," I state.

"Tae, I can't do this to you!" She replies.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Always having your attention on me," she tears up, "I'm just a girl who..."

"Who what?" I ask holding her shoulders.

"Who isn't that great, okay?" She whispers, "You got into so much trouble because of me. Your reputation was damaged because of me."

"No," I reply, "No," I hug her, "I will not allow you to feel like that. I knew what I was getting into when I saved your life at the graduation. I knew when I made out with you in the car. You didn't get me into any trouble. I was the one who did it."

"Why did you do it?" She sobs and whispers, "I'm a nobody."

"You aren't a nobody," I clench my jaw, "You're my everything. Why can't you just understand that?"

"I'm sorry," she cries.

"No, no, don't be sorry," I kiss her forehead, "I just need you to be more confident about yourself. Okay?"

She nods.

"And I also want you to tell me if anything is wrong," I say.

"Okay," she nods.

"You want to go home? Come," I stand up and extend my hand to her.

"No," she smiles through her teary eyes, "I think I'll stay here."

"Dear," I say slowly.

"What?" She asks in a whisper.

"You don't have to-"

"I don't want to go home," she stops me, "I think I'm better here with you."

I smile, "Okay."

"I'm hungry. I'm gonna get something to eat," she says and leaves my office.

I sigh. Only if she knew how much she meant to me.

"Sir, what will we do about Mr Min Yoongi?" My secretary asks.

"I have an idea but..." I trail, "I'm not sure."

"What is it, sir?" He asks.

"I think it's better if you're not involved anymore," I state.

"I see, sir. I shall take my leave if you don't have anything else," he says and I nod.

You did this for your dead girlfriend, huh? I'll show you who you were hurting all along. I'll make sure your heart crumbles when you remember you have a baby sister but she doesn't even know. I let out a sinister laugh. You'll watch me have your baby sister. You'll watch unable to have her near you or give you any love.

Yoongi's POV

I was looking through many of Taehyung's videos thinking about which one to publish next. I will not only crumble his business but also his girl. I will take her away from him. My stupid men hit another car instead of hitting Taehyung's. This time I missed, but the next, I won't.

"Taehyung," I tut, "So careless. Giving me more videos to upload online. So proud of your girlfriend, huh?"

"Upload it," I order my man.

"Yes, sir," he says and leaves.

"Yoongi!" I hear Hoseok coming in.

"Hoseok," I reply.

"I brought food! Let's have it," he smiles.

"Sure," I smile moving to the smaller table in my office, "Smells amazing."

"Doesn't it?" Hoseok sets the food down on the table.

"How is your work?" I ask him.

"It's going good," he replies, "I just miss one of my friends. She hasn't been coming to work."

"Why?" I ask chewing.

"She's in some trouble," he says.

"Something I can help?" I chuckle.

"I think she already got help," Hoseok smiles.

"That's good," I reply.

"This food tastes so good," Hoseok hums.

I hum back in approval, "Any expeditions coming up?"

"Yeah," he struggles to talk while chewing, "We're going to Egypt soon but the date hasn't been fixed."

"That's great," I smile, "Haven't you always wanted to go to Egypt?"

"Yeah," Hoseok grins. 

I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in."

"Yoongi," Mr Choi's daughter, Soo-An purrs.

"Who is this woman, Yoongi?" Hoseok asks.

"You can have the food," I stand up, "I'll be right back," I pull Soo-An out of the room.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I saw you uploaded another video," she huffs, "But are you doing anything to get rid of that whore?"

"I tried and I missed," I reply, "I am planning something."

"I want that whore out of my way," she says, "I want Taehyung."

"You will have Taehyung," I smirk, "And I will kill Yuna."

"Good if you do," she says, "By the way, my sister, Jean, has been doing some spy work."

"What?" I ask.

"She found out that the whore is always in Taehyung's office and he's taken her protection into his own hands," she informs.

I scoff, "But he himself is unprotected."

"Look, Yoongi," she starts, "I don't want Taehyung to take much damage. I still need him. Just kill or do whatever you want with that whore and get rid of her."

"Don't give me orders," I glare at her.

"I gave you orders because you are being useless," she says.

"You-"

"Sir! Mr Min!" My man runs in, "I've got a new video!"

"Get out," I warn Soo-An and push her out.

"What? Why are you telling that to me? Go put it on my system," I reply to my man.

"No, sir," he pants, "You have to see this."

"Show me," I take his phone to see Taehyung teleporting from one place at the mall to another.

"What is this? I didn't ask for edited videos of Taehyung performing black magic," I reply with no interest.

"It's n-not edited, sir," he replies.

"What?" I ask.

"Really, sir," he nods his head, "We have a witness too."

"Who?" 

"Me," another one of my men replies, "I saw it with my own eyes while following him sir. A huge sand cloud and he disappeared."

"What the hell?" I ask myself.

"Sir, you've gotten a letter."

I take the letter and read it.

She's still alive. Come get her if you want. -k.th

"WHAT?" I scream, "That asshole!"

"I'm going to kill him!"

"Y-Yoongi?"

1350 words

A/N- Sorry for the late update, had some stuff to do. AND OMG IDEK WHERE THIS STORY IS GOINNGNGNGNNG. Aaaah Yoongiiii :( I'm sorry. What's gonna happen now :( 

In the prequel, Taehyung was the villain of his own story. Will he be the villain of his story in this one too? 👀

LMAO bye,

~Soki

[iloveabunchofgames]

1/15/23 - Week In Review

#JakeReviewsItch Week In Review Archives

This week’s reviews: 🧡🤍🤍🤍🤍 6 pack of craft games 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 8 Bit Space (ZX Spectrum Inspired Platformer) 🧡🧡🧡🤍🤍 9 Till Void 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 10 Flights of Ballooning 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 10 in 1 game-a-week bundle! 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 10mg: Sealed Estate 🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 10mg: SNAAAK

Game of the Week

I spent most of the week feeling confident that 9 Till Void wouldn't be topped, and then this sneaky little fellow wriggled into my heart.

It's only been a day since I wrote about 10mg: SNAAAK, and my thoughts haven't changed. As a short experience—a proof of concept—it's magnificent. What I want is for this to be extended to a full game, but if I can't get that, this little taste will do. The current asking price of $1.99 is too steep for me to recommend. There just isn't enough there. It's also in the complete 10mg bundle, but given my other 10mg experience, I wouldn't suggest gambling $10 on that, either. Which brings me to the topic absolutely no one wants to discuss ever again: What's the purpose of review scores? The debates have raged for as long as we've had reviews, and no one has ever emerged with a satisfying answer. I've written a guide to deciphering my scores, and I still struggle every day. 10mg: SNAAAK is something special. I enjoyed it. I think others would enjoy it. It has value. I rated it 4/5. And my advice is, "Don't buy it." Which is why context matters. Money changed hands, but I did not purchase this game with consideration and intent. It showed up in my life, and I ignored it until self-imposed obligation pushed me to give it a fair shake. Would this be a 4/5 if I'd spent months reading previews, studying screenshots and trailers until the day I could finally type in my credit card number and begin the download? Not a chance. Something to keep in mind when you see a gulf between the way critics and audiences respond to media.

When I'm not Itching...

If I see a Wii game for a dollar, I'm probably going to buy it. If it proudly advertises its compatibility with the Wii Balance Board, I'm definitely going to buy it.

Take a look at the cover of Ubisoft's Gold's Gym Cardio Workout. It's 2009. Wii Fit is past its peak, but still hot. Ubisoft, still a few months away striking gold with Just Dance, is scooping up publishing rights for anything they think could catch the eye of the newly expanded Wii and DS audience. Quality is not a top concern. Look at that cover. Picture the game. Do you see cutesy anime people guiding rhythmic boxing routines?

Image taken from some YouTube review. (Not an endorsement; I just scrubbed through the video with the sound off until I found a usable image because there aren't any good screenshots of this game and I didn't feel like setting up my capture card.)

Does that format—left and right punching icons coming up from the bottom of the screen in time to music—look familiar?

I looked up Gold's Gym: Cardio Workout developer, Rocket Company, and wouldn't you know it? They were absorbed by parent company Imagineer in 2016, the very name behind 2018's Fitness Boxing, 2020's Fitness Boxing 2: Rhythm & Exercise, and the upcoming Fitness Boxing: Fist of the North Star. Imagineer is self-publishing the slightly bonkers-looking Fist of the North Star spinoff, while the first two Fitness Boxing Switch games were published in the Americas by none other than Nintendo and sold for $50 a pop.

And that's why I'll take a chance on a buck on any Wii game I can find, no batter what it looks like on the cover. The Switch sequels are, I'm sure, the superior pieces of software, but I'm sweating just as much with a couple Wii remotes in my hand. But that's not the real reason I wanted to share this curious bit of video game. No, let me tell you of my greatest discovery. Ubisoft and Rocket Company followed up Gold's Gym: Cardio Workout with Gold's Gym: Dance Workout. The YouTube trailer isn't especially interesting, except for one detail: It was uploaded by the Just Dance channel. Now that Ubisoft was developing the world's most successful dance series in-house, I suspect they didn't feel much need to continue importing rhythm/exercise games from Japan. The Ubisoft/Gold's Gym/Rocket Company partnership ended after just two games. In Japan, however, the シェイプボクシング (Shape Boxing) series got a third entry, which leads us to the greatest video game commercial of all time. Enjoy.

By the way, Ubisoft is an awful company, responsible for just about every kind of abuse you can imagine, and the rot runs all the way to the top. Yes, good people do good work there. No, that is no excuse for enabling systemic abuse. Buying an old game from a retro game shop? I don't see a problem. Buying new Ubisoft games or making in-game purchases results supports a company that protects predators and thrives on abuse. Despite apologetic PR statements, they have made no meaningful effort to be better. Video games are fun. Human lives are more important.

#JakeReviewsTwitch is a series of daily game reviews. You can learn more here. You can also browse past reviews...

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