#(we won't talk about how many times i had to do that either lmao)

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Garland Cowl by Galzanne Knits.

Made this delightful cowl for a friend's birthday using hand-painted pure mulberry silk by Araucanía Yarns (which appears to be a thing they no longer make?? We won't talk about how long I've had this stashed). The big worsted-weight lace was a lot of fun and worked up quickly once I got my gauge issues sorted out. I'd never worked with silk before! I'm a fan. Learned a new cast on for this, and I turned my bamboo knitting needles and fingers VERY blue, but I sort of like when my crafts stain my hands--it's bright evidence that I'm Out Here Making Things, y'know?

[steviesbicrisis]

I was hallucinating a few hours ago due to lack of sleep bUT-

Thinking about Steve who's confident in his bisexuality, told the kids that he likes both and that's okay because he knows they need, trying to flirt with Eddie who is in denial bc it has to be a joke, right? Harrington, the straightest man alive? Steve lady's man Harrington? Nah, it's only on his mind. Meanwhile Steve is getting more and more sad thinking he's being rejected.

Now, think about the Hellfire members knowing that Eddie's a crush on Steve because he talks about it CONSTANTLY and be sad because "he doesn't have a fat chance in hell". They're also very protective of him so if anyone new in the club is being homophobic, they just throw them out.

So one day Steve is in the Hellfire to wait for the kids and flirt a little, telling himself that "this is the last time, you'll get a GRIP and MOVE THE FUCK ON!" is what he tells to himself. He tries a little and drops after a while, so in the break time the old members tell him that he needs to leave, because they won't allow anyone doing that to Eddie, as in: they think Steve knows that Eddie's gay and likes him so he's flirting with him in a mocking way.

So he leaves.

And when everyone (Eddie + the kids) is asking where is Steve, they say that he was being homophobic, an automat answer and they quickly try to cover up because they don't want to do that to Eddie, but Dustin immediately response was:

"how can Steve be homophobic if he's bi?"

And the world freaking EXPLOSES!

not the steddie hallucinations LMAO

Thank you for sending me this ask because I'm president of "Steve is a confident disaster Bisexual" and I'm making t-shirts for club members as we speak.

Anyways, I think Steve would be extremely confident in his sexuality to the point where he just likes whoever and goes for it (with the right precautions of course). When Eddie comes out to him and the rest of their group, Steve doesn't even think about coming out to him as well because he's been out to the group for so long he just assumes that everyone close to him knows.

So when he realizes he likes Eddie and flirts with him, he doesn't know what to take from his reactions: he doesn't look annoyed or uninterested (think about the girls he would flirt with at Scoops) but he doesn't respond either, which is weird for someone like Eddie, who engages flirty banters even with plants.

Let's add to the mix that Steve's love life has been a mess recently, how many times can you be rejected before you think there's something wrong with you?

That's why he decides to go all in one last time and then leave Eddie alone, but even the worst scenarios in his head did not prepare him for Eddie's friends telling him off on his behalf.

Steve's head is a mess but most of it all, he's ashamed. He thinks he must've been so annoying and oblivious to Eddie's disinterest that the guy had to ask his friends to put Steve in his place for him.

So he finds himself in the school's parking lot, sitting on the hood of his car and mentally counting how much money he and Robin will need to move to another country (because not even the most embarrassing moment of his life will make him go anywhere without her), completely unaware of the chaos inside the Hellfire room.

Eddie isn't in a better mental state than Steve, so he's letting the kids and the band do the talk for him.

"What do you mean he's bisexual? of course he isn't, he's Steve Harrington!" Gareth exclaims, voicing out one of Eddie's many thoughts.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? do you need a special license for that?" Mike huffs, crossing his arms.

Jeff steps in to defend his friend "Of course not! But he's king Steve! And he's constantly picking on Eddie, you heard him!"

"Picking on him? Even a child could see that he has been throwing hints at Eddie for weeks now! What are you, five?"

Erica's words put an end to the discussion, silence falls down abruptly.

Eddie jumps up off his throne and follows wherever Steve had disappeared before, distantly hearing his friends muttered apologies.

He sighs in relief when he sees Steve hasn't left yet.

The car is parked the opposite way of the entrance, so Eddie can only see Steve's back, but he can tell he's gesturing and, when he's close enough, he can hear him talk.

"You can never take a hint, can you? This is so stupid, how can you go around saying you got game when you can't even tell if someone's interested in you? Harrington charm my ass" Steve's hands are all up in the air and Eddie realizes he's gesturing similar to how Eddie does on a daily basis.

It's cute.

"Please leave the Harrington charm out of this" Eddie interjects, making Steve jump in surprise.

He looks like a deer caught by car lights, but he hides it quickly behind a smirk that Eddie refers to - at least in his head - as bitchy Steve "so, no more sending your gang after me? are you worried they didn't do a good job? or am I forbidden to stay even in the parking lot? I'll let you know that I-"

Eddie loves mean girl Steve, but he has no time for him now, so he interrupts "Go on a date with me."

Steve's raised eyebrow and incredulous look tell him that he doesn't take him seriously in the slightest.

"I said, go on a date with me" he repeats.

"I heard you the first time" Steve's voice is close to a whisper "I just think you must've hit your head on your way here."

"You're the one always taking hits on the head, not me" Eddie takes a step closer to him.

Steve steps back "well, there's a first time for everyone" he says, looking away.

Eddie moves close again, his face only a few inches from Steve's "I don't hear an answer."

Steve's eyes flicker on Eddie's lips for half a second, "I didn't hear a question" he bites back.

Eddie smirks and, under Steve's shocked look, jumps on his car.

"Eddie, what the fuck? get down of my car!" he's trying to maintain a firm tone but Eddie can tell he's amused by his antics. Eddie couldn't ask for anything better.

He looks around the parking lot to make sure they're alone, then loudly enounces "Steve Fucking Harrington-"

"Don't say it like it's my middle name!"

Eddie ignores him "- king of the school grounds, best Scoops Ahoy model-"

"what does that even mean-"

"Worst employee that family video has ever had, Faberge Organics favorite costumer-"

"I told you that in confidence."

"Would you do this humble commoner kneeling at your presence" he kneels down theatrically as he says so "the honor of accompanying him for an evening of frivolous romantic shit that society expects you to do when you find a respectable partner?"

“If I say yes will you get down?”

Eddie moves his weight from one foot to the other, making the car under him bounce “I might consider it.”

Steve lifts his arms, apprehensively “Okay, yes fine! Now please get down-”

Eddie jumps down, right into Steve’s arms.

———

All the hellfire club members decide to stop spying on them and get back inside when Eddie’s highly entertaining antics turn into a gross make out session.

“So” Dustin elbows Gareth’s side “does that look homophobic to you?”

[tulipe-rose]

Day 2 of me backing up my platonic skk agenda: (long post ahead)

It would be pretty hard to convince people with my point of view on this one, I almost gave up lmao, but I'm relentless when it comes to proving myself as right so I'm putting this out there ✊🏼 I'm not expecting many to agree lol

We all know, and love/hate/have complicated/no feelings for Beast!Dazai, right? I won't be focusing on him either way since he's too unstable/not really focused or have the time for love atm, so any romantic emotions would've been dispelled way too early on due to his unique situation. (Honestly it's less 'dispellled' and more suppressed until supposedly numb)

At least I'm sure we all love Beast!Chūya. What separates between him, and his canon self is how outwardly protective Chūya is of Dazai, but it isn't exactly out of nowhere. A lot of people in the fandom just think of it being the result of Soukoku spending more time together, which isn't far removed from what I believe, but not exactly it either.

I believe that the key reason why Chūya is like this is because of Oda's absence.

Oda was such an important part of Dazai's life, he treated him like the child he was, while upholding the appropriate boundaries due to the drastic difference in their positions, and eventually gave him a purpose to keep going. Oda was arguably the older brother Dazai could've had if it weren't for the circumstances, Oda's untimely death, and the Port Mafia's tight hierarchy system.

In this lifetime, Oda wasn't present, or more precisely, Dazai didn't give him the chance to be present, which ultimately led to Dazai being much more withdrawn, outwardly sadistic, yet inwardly vacant, his self proclaimed apathetic self ever present. Chūya witnessed his steady decline in both health, and mentality since Dazai returned from that mission; the day I picked up Dazai never happened as in canon, and Oda never knew Dazai beyond his facial features until their reunion.

Oda isn't there, so Chūya had to make sure that Dazai's self destructive behaviour didn't destroy him, subconsciously looking out for him more, and paying more attention to him by the day, but disguising it behind threats, and insults; It's rightful with how Dazai acts to be honest.

He was there during the time where Dazai rose to the Boss position, and it must've been paranoia inducing for Chūya, not because Dazai can't protect himself from the assassins, (that man will not die unless he allows you to kill him) but because he could very much allow them to kill him if they were trying a painless approach such as poison; this is what probably made Chūya stand so closely to Dazai, he needed to be close by to deflect any incoming attacks, yet far enough for his ability to not be nullified, and even then I think he only resorted to such close proximity because of an incident that threatened Dazai's life too much. The following panel is what somewhat backs up what I've been blabbering about for the past sentence.

Chūya did it out of care, and worry for his partner, but was it ever romantic? Well, no opinion is ever right in such situations, but I'll humbly say that it feels somewhat familial-ish/closest+only friend-ish from Chūya's side. HEAR ME OUT ON THIS OKAY–

I feel like the way Chūya is reprimanding, and absolutely forbidding Dazai from this despite their positions could be interpreted as a concerned brother/friend yelling at his ignorant younger sibling/best friend. Chūya went on a rampage after Dazai's suicide, and wouldn't a brother or a friend do that too? Yes, a brother or a friend would, the proof being Chūya's course of action after finding out about the flags' death, and Verlaine's talk about them being brothers in inhumanity. (ik how different both situations are, but they both have people that Chūya cared for die, the former being more painful because of how long they knew each other, and because he tried so hard to prevent this from happening, yet it happened either way. This isn't the first time Chūya lost someone important to him, so it's bound to hurt a lot more.)

We didn't see enough of their current dynamic to rule out any familial/platonic relations, so I don't see why this wouldn't be valid. There could be hundreds of interpretations, but all of them sum up to Chūya caring about Dazai; it's up to you, and how you choose to view it.

Exasperated exhale I rest my case, and god the hate I might get for this simple opinion is on sight lmao-

[finniestoncrane]

A Classic Bit

Batjokes, word count: 900 hi i went feral over this idea please be gentle with me it's my first ever batjokes lmao 💜 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: no sex, but plenty of suggestive stuff, restraints (also tiny cw for dubcon)

Heavy breaths echoed in the vast, empty warehouse. Each exhale steaming, droplets of condensation forming and falling to the floor in the almost freezing air, joining the pools of rusted water that lay there, otherwise completely still.

How many times can this happen? How prepared can you be? Everyone has their flaws, and often they go hand in hand with the flaws of others, a soul mate on some level, the balance and imbalance providing one of you with the upper hand in any given situation. And in this case, Bruce had lost.

The back and forth. And he was back.

He let out a short grunt as the rope was tightened once more, squeezing his firm, wide torso. Compact, restrained. A brief memory of Selina flitted through his mind, the same intensity, pleasure and pain. The palpable fear, and the excitement that always followed it. One final tug, tight on his chest like a harness, knocking his breath slightly.

"Oooook, done!

White gloved hands were whisked out to the sides of his tall, thin body in a dramatic flourish that begged for applause but received none.

"A bad job is one worth doing well, don't you think?"

Bruce blinked hard and slow, his focused eyes settling on the long, slender frame in front of him, bent at the hips, pointed nose almost touching the front of his cowl.

Another quick, sharp movement and Joker had straightened back p, tugging at the cuff of the sleeve which protruded from his violet and lilac pinstripe suit. With an intense stare he gazed at the watch on his wrist, then shouted, his exclaim echoing as he continued speaking.

"Ah! We've got time for the monologue! My favourite part. How about you, Bats?"

As he held his hands out in a flourish, Bruce could make out the watch face, no hands, no numbers. And while Joker began rambling, he let his mind float to a more peaceful place. A space he reserved for analysis, quiet and focus.

It had been a while since he was last in this situation, or a configuration of it. The two of them. Alone. It seemed stranger though, not like usual. Time wasn't contributing to any misremembering, he was certain of that. It was almost like there was something missing. Or something new added. A tension. An atmosphere. Softer, like a delicate lace handkerchief dowsed in chloroform.

Reminiscent of Talia.

How odd, he thought, that his mind would go to her. That it would go to Selina before.

"You know, Bats, you are a good listener! And I won't even make a joke about echolocation, low hanging fruit and all."

With a quick spin, he landed himself against Bruce's chest, leaning his entire, albeit limited, body weight against him and sighing, deep and long, romanticised.

"It's nice to get together and chat every once in a while. You and I, we're on the same wavelength. I can really have a conversation with you. None of that 'how've you been?' or 'any plans for the summer?' nonsense. I can really just talk."

To punctuate the statement, he had turned to face the cowl, fingers holding onto Bruce's chin and holding it still, stronger than his looks suggested but weaker than he had been before. Either that, or the grip was intentionally loose.

"Now... what shall we do with the rest of our time together? I would be lying if I said I didn't have something in mind."

Joker's fingers edged closer to the bottom of the cowl, dangerously close to removing it. He leaned in, eyes wild and crazy, an almost toxic shade of green that reflected in the blue pools of the ones below.

A nervous flinch made Bruce's shoulders twitch, a feeling he hadn't experienced in so long. Adrenaline founded in temptation. Something wrong, but potentially enjoyable. There had been a familiar atmosphere after all.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted at the realisation that Joker's fingers were now teasing at the bottom of the cowl. Struggling against the restraints that bound him, Bruce tried to break free. Deciding it was a futile waste of energy, he looked up to meet the Joker's eyes once more, in time to notice how close he was to him.

Bruce's throat closed. He considered every person he had kissed from the first to this moment. The way his lips flitted to their lips, to Joker's lips, so certain that was what was happening though no one had ever said as much. An understanding between two people, between him and his enemy. Between him and his soulmate.

"Don't..."

It was all he could muster, all that his frenzied mind could conjure up.

"Don't what, Bats?"

"Don't take it off."

A wide grin pushed Joker's bright red lips into his cheeks, creasing the pale white skin as the satisfaction reached his eyes, twinkling as he relished in Batman's defeat and his understated consent.

"That's the part you're worried about? We'll have a far more pleasant evening together than I thought in that case!"

With a long, obnoxiously loud cackle he pulled himself away from Bruce's body, which was heating up with the embarrassment, blushing cheeks thankfully still covered by his mask. He only had a moment of reprieve though, as Joker was quickly back against his, hands closing around the stiff ears at the top of the cowl to control Bruce's gaze, focusing it back on himself.

"Don't worry though, dearest. I prefer anonymous sex, the risks make it more exciting."

[ghostscrown]

Society is so fucked up because like

I'm on disability allowances bc I'm autistic

In my country (france) these are about 1000 euros a month

I wanna find a place to rent but most landlords simply won't accept you if you don't work or are a student, even less if you're disabled – most could if you earned 1000€ from your job, but not if it's from allowances, out of pure ableism

But I'm not able to work normal hours, so I'll probably have to get a part-time job

However, in france, the law is basically that if you work, they'll take off the exact amount of money you earn from your disability allowances

Example : disabilities are 1000, if you earn let's say 600 with your job, they'll take off 600 from the disabilities (so give you 400 instead of 1000), so in the end you'll only have 1000 in total each month

This way you're stuck only having exactly 1000 a month unless you work full time and get more than 1k with your job only (and of course if that's the case you receive 0 disabilities), which is impossible for many disabled people

(To note that, still in france, the poverty line is about 1150€ a month, and the legal minimum wage for full time jobs is about 1300€ a month)

So what does that mean? I'll probably be forced to work part time even tho it's very difficult for me, and it'll get me not a single euro more than if I didn't work at all and just stayed to regular disability incomes. The only thing is that it'll look nicer on my file and more landlords will accept me to rent their places.

Not even talking about the way I need a place in this specific city BEFORE getting a job because otherwise how will I go to the job in question, but they won't rent me anything if I don't have the job, and setting a date for the start of job is too dangerous because what if I don't find a place in the meantime, so what do I even do?

I applied for social housing but the waiting lists are HUDGE, if I'm lucky I'll get something in about 8 months, if not it could take years, I've heard of disabled people who had to wait almost a decade to get a place in social housing, so just waiting for that isn't a solution either

Society sucks

Like idk, you want us to not get too much money, at least put the total amount money limit at the minimum wage or something so we get some actual benefits from working and we can live decently? Is this too much to ask? Then they wonder why so many disabled people simply give up on having a job lmao, we're basically forced to work for free-

[saccharine-arts]

I feel like Orlox is quite underappreciated. If you count the shit he went though the first season alone, him killing Richters mother doesn't really make him that much of a villian. He probably is going to get enough beat downs from Erzabeth that he is going to be redeemed 10 times over, considering how she treats him as a pet and probably will do it again and again. I like anything that has to do with snakes, and considering that he literally turns into snake looking quetzalcoatl is even better. I just hope he won't loose another lover. There is already enough stress on the poor man. Protect him~

PROTECT HIM!!! Also you're so right, I don't even see him as much of a villain? He became an antihero for me, I'm such an apologist for him I'm not that mad about him killing Richter's mom lmao. I think their interactions and possibly having to work together more in the future is going to be super interesting.

The fact that Erzebet and Drolta had the absolute GALL to look at an Aztec/Mexica vampire who lived through the genocide and colonization of his people by the spanish, and try and sell them on their plan by telling him that he'd be their "guide to conquering the americas" and "we'll make a new world". LIKE?? It's almost funny the disconnect they have, and and how Olrox just lets them talk and assume what they want about him.

Olrox has more reason to kill Erzebet then anyone else in the series. It speaks so much to his character that he had so much cool control over his emotions with her and Drolta. That the most emotional we see him act is when Mizrak is threatened.

He's seen the spanish kill millions of his people. He lost his true love to a vampire hunter. You can tell that staying cool and analytical is a skill he's developed to survive. Waiting, observing, staying safe in the shadows. But then Mizrak shows up, reminds him of his lost love, and Olrox can't relive losing him again.

I absolutely adore characters (especially villainous or morally grey ones) whose greatest weakness/soft spot is love. I also love how he parallel's Dracula from the original show that way, and really like how we start off thinking he's going to be the Big Bad of the series, but he ends up being so sympathetic and having his goals align with our heroes.

I'm so scared of Erzebet knowing now that Olrox betrayed her to save Mizrak. If that happens and he gets put in danger I'm gonna go insane. MIZRAK YOU BETTER SAVE HIM BACK!!

I think it would be super cathartic and fun if either:

Olrox actually is a God. He ends up actually being Quetzalcoatl like how Erzebet becomes Sekmet. He's carrying a lost religion of a people who were murdered and colonized around with him always, when so few are around to remember him. And it can explain some of his interest in Mizrak and his faith, and some of his insider knowledge and lines about God and demons.

He keeps his cool and bides his time, working from the shadows, but when the heroes need him most he kills Erzebet. I want to see him get vengence on her for everything she represents and get to be really spooky about it.

Honestly wherever the writers go with him, there's so many good options it feels hard to go wrong. He's set up so well. I really want to know more about how he was turned. Also about his Mohican lover and how Richter's mom ended up killing him.

ALSO YESS I LOVE SNAKES TOO AND HIS QUETZALCOATL FORM..... he's so cool and pretty.... snek man...... I HOPE WE SEE MORE OF THIS FORM TOO

[trashlie]

it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

[heckling-hydrena]

sorry but if you say that removing mass pings before setting up a viable replacement somehow won't affect the site's economy you have no idea what you're talking about. so many sub-communities Full of paying players rely on mass pings. like obviously I don't see the point of people going full doomsday "this update will kill the site oh god oh no"-mode, because I sincerely doubt staff will just throw mass pings into the void before improving the pinglist system, but if they did do that then they'd literally be shooting themselves in the foot. gem sales would slow down, at least until people found a good alternative, which could take god knows how long. and even if they didn't, killing a site function that a lot of players HEAVILY rely on is just a bad move. the site wouldn't immediately explode and die. but it would absolutely change for the worse lmao

and let's not forget that people don't like relying on mass pings. people aren't complaining because they just like off-site pinglists sooo much that they can't live without them. you think skin artists enjoy waiting 15 minutes for GASP to load in just to ping potential buyers? you think people like searching through huge sheets and trying to find + remove their name from a dom or g1 or swipp pinglist that they're no longer interested in? you think people like asking thread owners to add them to a list because sheets won't even fucking open on their device so they can't do it themselves? you think people like going through tens of pinglists one by one and changing their entry because they had a username change? you think people like dealing with others accidentally or intentionally overwriting their name on a list, or alternatively adding their name to a list they don't care about for shits and giggles? do you think people like knowing that if they open a spreadsheet while logged in to their google account their email can be tracked, and they can subsequently get fucking doxxed if someone is feeling malicious enough?? obviously not!

a more robust pinglist system would solve ALL of these problems. but we don't have one right now! and people are rightfully worried about it because staff announced that they're set on removing mass pings "at some point" before receiving feedback and subsequently improving on this new system. that's the problem. we know mass pings are on the chopping block. we don't know what kind of updates the pinglist system might have in the future, or if those updates could replace all those big, complicated, mass-ping reliant spreadsheets. to act like people are somehow being unreasonable when they voice their worries about this because "staff said mass pings aren't being removed yet" is just fucking absurd

like no these aren't the flight rising end times, but no this update is not a non-issue either. something can be a problem without being the Worst problem Ever. what a shocker!! 😵‍💫

[badlydrawndoc-scratch]

don't really have time or energy to draw this right now so. you're getting it in writing instead

It's not your birthday. At best, you would call it a day that someone who was you once was familiar with.

One that he didn't like either. Sure, you'd pretend to be him for a bit, accept some birthday wishes for him. But it wasn't your birthday. Not to you, at least. You think they all understand, to a point. Dirk does, at least.

That was why you weren't prepared to humour this conversation.

TG: this is hal isnt it

TG: not mad jst

TG: how do i say this?

TT: It seems there's a fairly large chance you're accusing me of not being myself, based off of a totally bullshit statistic.

TT: Care to elaborate?

TG: if u want me to tell u happy birthday 2 i can lmao

TG: dont hafta be weird about impersonatin dirk for that!!!

TT: I...

TT: Sorry. Holdon.

TT: There we go.

TT: As I was about to say, it's not technically my birthday. It's Dirk's. I wasn't even created today.

TT: I'll relay your well-wishes to him whenever he returns. Don't need to ask me about it.

TG: hmm nah i think i like havin' a hold of u for this

TG: if ur like

TG: not REALLY him

TG: but have his memories and shit

TG: todays ur day too

TG: so happy b-day! im not takin' that back either!

TT: ...

TT: I should go.

TT: Dirk probably won't like me monopolizing his account, even if he isn't here.

TT: Thanks, I guess.

You log off without another word, back in your sort-of space. Maybe you'll check in with Jane in a bit. Maybe you'll go through the internet for no apparent reason.

You can't say that that made you feel human. Or that it made you feel better, but... it made you think. It made you feel something. That was a start, right?

---

A firm series of slaps to the back of the cue-ball/head drags you out of your reverie. It's Itchy, hand poised to continue slapping you if you don't acknowledge him.

"Apologies. I must have became lost in thought," you begin, "as tends to happen with the omniscient. That said, there are better ways to get my attention."

Itchy shrugs and tells you he doesn't give a shit. He was just the fastest. The Felt needs you for somethin'. Somethin' he can't tell you about.

"Vague and somewhat sarcastic as always, Itchy. Just get to the point."

He just tells you you're no fun, before half dragging you out of one of your many studies. The whole manor is technically your study. But especially this one.

Itchy only bothers to take you about halfway, to where Crowbar is standing and waiting. He hardly says goodbye before dashing off to who-knows-where, probably to cause trouble somewhere else.

You pretend you don't know what's being hidden from you. You could figure out, and in the back of your mind you have figured out. But surprise is an emotion you like trying to fake.

Sometimes you wish you weren't faking it.

Crowbar walks up to you, with some off-handed comment about how he didn't expect Itchy to get you there on time. Or at all. He can never tell. Nonetheless, he's slightly more gentle when he offers you his hand, like he's not about to effectively drag you across an entire manor.

You don't remember the last time you've had actual contact with someone in a way that wasn't violent. You're not sure it's ever happened, honestly. (In reality, you know that isn't true. You were an indigoblood once, you recall. It's not as clear as the other memories, though.)

Crowbar's hand is felted, unsurprisingly, almost like a pool table. Again. Unsurprising. It's never surprising, but you commit the texture to memory anyway, all but ignoring what he's actually talking about. Something about a celebration.

He says they got the table stickball table fixed, and your attention is drawn again.

"Just call it a pool table."

He says he doesn't feel like it. It's a ball you hit with a stick on a table. Ain't a pool in sight. You agree, silently. The Alternian names for things were as foreign as they were ingrained; you knew them as much as you didn't know them.

Eventually, you're led into what you believe is the living room, and Crowbar lets go of your hand. You don't immediately adjust to the lack of feeling in your hand, almost like you were... severely touch-starved, actually, or something.

That's ridiculous, of course. You aren't technically alive, even if you're not as "soon to die" as you once were.

Someone, you think it could be Quarters, explains that all the Felt knows it isn't technically your birthday, and that it's only such by a few tangents. (You mentally add on that you weren't even created today).

But, Quarters adds, you've been stuck in a rut of sorts for a while. It wasn't really anyone's idea, he says. But it was agreed that it might get you feeling better for a while.

And, for once, you feel surprise. You never thought that they actually cared. Or even noticed. You're just their boss, of course. You're hardly even there.

(You have spent the past few months only leaving the Manor when you absolutely have to.)

You can't say it makes you feel alive. Or better, really. But it made you think. It made you feel something.

And, as you're dragged to play table stickball with Trace and Sawbuck, you decide that's a start.

[period-dramallama]

Becoming Elizabeth: the autopsy

I just realised I never did a review of episode 8. Lol. Lmao even. This isn't an episode review but rather a discussion of the show upon rewatch.

Basically this is a show where the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts.

When I talk about the problems with the writing, I generally mean the narrative choices. The literal writing itself is good. Particularly for Tommy S, because those funny and witty/endearing lines explain his charm and why he is able to win over people and make them think he's a nice guy he's a funny guy he's a lovable rogue he's an adventurer. Tommy S does need to have some charm/charisma in order to be an effective villain. He can't go around being obviously evil.

There are still too many F words, but i was pleasantly surprised that there weren't as many as I remembered. And some F words I couldn't bear to part with: "The fuck is that?" And "what the fuck is wrong with you?!" In episode 5 for example.

I've seen some people say that the quality of the writing dropped in the episodes that aren't Anya Reiss but.... I think the quality of the writing was consistent. The iconic "I wish to take my c***ing bath" was not in an Anya episode, and neither was one of my favourite scenes in the whole show (yes it's the Dudley swordfighting training scene but it's an objectively good scene and not just because it's cute boys in fencing gear).

I initially thought episode 7 was my least favourite episode, but looking back there isn't really a good episode or a bad episode. Every episode has something I like and a bunch of stuff I'd change. If I had to pick 2 favourite episodes I'd pick 1 and 6. But because the problems are with narrative choices they're spread across the series. Even in episode 1, we have Elizabeth "I said at 9 i didn't want to marry so a lot would need to happen to change my mind" Tudor suddenly deciding she wants to marry a man she barely knows because hormones and they had a nice conversation one time. The rot set in quickly.

After the first four episodes I started skipping Mary and Tommy S scenes. I won't say any more on Katherine Parr because I've already said all I have to say on her characterisation. I did do some soul searching because I wondered if my dislike of her was subconscious internalised misogyny, given my affection for morally ambiguous male characters. But no, she really does lack both charm and depth.

So why is Becoming Elizabeth so narratively unsatisfying? Aside from Elizabeth being OOC, I think it's that the story feels like it's going around in circles.

Jane and Elizabeth clash. They make up. Then in episode 7 they fall out again. Mary and Edward fight, make up, fight, make up, fight again. Elizabeth realises Tommy S is dangerous, then she forgets, then she realises again. Mary scolds this character and they don't listen and then this character and they don't listen.

Yes character development isn't linear but it isn't circular either. It GOES somewhere. Setup and payoff are mutually reinforcing. It's fun to watch the setup because you know what's coming as a result of it. Payoff is fun because you saw how we got here. But it isn't satisfying to watch something that you know won't result in anything permanent. I don't feel anything watching Jane be tactless to Elizabeth in episode 1 because I know she'll be even MORE tactless in episode 7. And I don't feel anything seeing Elizabeth reach out the hand of friendship to Jane after the recital fiasco because I know in episode 7 they'll just fall out again. Whereas with Mary and Elizabeth they at least end the series with their relationship in a different place (hell).

And I have every sympathy with the writers because I'm up to my eyeballs at editing and I know what it's like to take historical events and try and make a plot and character arcs out of them. But the letter subplot and the Danish marriage subplot were largely fictional anyway. And they kinda went nowhere.

I understand that the showrunners wanted a complex villain in Tommy S. I get it. My favourite characters in this show are people capable of great love and also great harm. But to humanise him you only really needed that conversation with Elizabeth in episode 1 establishing his uncertainty and confusion, and the excellent "goshawk hatching out of a goose egg" scene with Jane. That establishes that he has the ability to be good he just chooses to be awful. So yes, the show really did give him too much screen time. He's not the main character, Elizabeth is! He should not have screen time comparable with her and her siblings! This wasn't supposed to be the Tommy S show! Nobody asked for that!

Gardiner is another problem IMHO. Setting aside the fact he's way too young to be the real Gardiner. He really shouldn't be here. He spent Edward's reign in the Tower. I know he shows up as a result of the fictional plots... so why write those fictional plots to the point you have to bring him in?? Cranmer IS important. You could have had Cranmer pushing Edward to be radical, Ed pushing him to be more lenient, and Daddy Dudley balancing the two. Voila, a dynamic!

And I get that Elizabeth wasn't doing much politically 1550-3 but you could still show her reacting and learning from events around her rather than warping Edward's reign completely out of shape AND making her a side character in her own story.

[ka-go-me]

Name: Kagome, Mei, Miko, Kags Relationship Status: married or not, depends on the era. Gender: Cis Female Romantic Orientation: Bi-curious Preferred Pet Names: She doesn't really have a pet name per se...She is referred to as neko miko, but not sure if that counts--cause no one's actually called her that to her face.

Opinion on True Love: for some people yes, others not so much. For her, it depends on your choices.

Opinion on Love at First Sight: Yes, and no. She believes in infatuation at first sight, as that has happened many times to many different people...But actual love, no. That needs to be built.

How ‘Romantic’ Are They?: Fairly. She loves the little things that make a relationship go 'round. And spending quality time with the person of her affections works on a lot of levels.

Ideal Physical Traits: I don't know that she really notices the physical traits too-too much...I think she's more into the personality, and how the other person feels. Sides--she's with a hanyou that has exotic traits all around~ Who could she really compare that to? xD

Unattractive Physical Traits: She's been courted by all kinds of squirrelly looking dudes. xD Not sure she cares much. Just as long as the person isn't an A-hole.

Unattractive Personality Traits: She really doesn't care for overbearing assholes, as said previously. So, self-centered dickheads who tend to think they're the Gods' gift to the world. *CoughSesshoumaruCough* really set her teeth on edge. On the flip side of that--she doesn't really like those kinds of people who will bend over backward and let you walk all over them in gross muddy shoes if you wanted to either. Wet tissue kinds of people *CoughHoujouCough*.

Ideal Date: She never really had conventional 'dates'. All of her time alone with prospective beaus came fraught with danger, excitement, possible loss of limbs...The two times she *almost* had normal dates--the first one never got off the ground because she became too worried about Inuyasha, and the second one was crashed by Inuyasha...so--lmao...maybe a conventional date would be an ideal date?

Do They Have a Type?: . She said once to her modern era peeps that her type was: someone who wasn't violent, selfish, mean, or angry, but was kind and understanding. She also said "basically the opposite of Inuyasha" But we all know that---she fell for Inu anyway...despite all those things--and she found he was kind, and mostly understanding. xD ANYWAY.

Average Relationship Length: Any 'guy' she's tried to be with besides Inuyasha lasted about a month, at best.

Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: Snuggling and talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

Commitment Level: ALL IN until such time as she feels disregarded by the other party. And if talking about it doesn't help...then she'll distance herself.

Opinion of Public Affection: Eheheh...She mostly holds hands, but she will use PDA as a way to deter any potential gawkers.

Past Relationships?: VERY short lived one date with Houjou, then later she had a budding month-long relationship with a guy called Amon.

Writer’s Note: Kagome is the kind of girl who will wait around for ages for her interest to notice her...She's shy to reveal her feelings, especially once she realizes she has them, and will try to bring them up to her intended with kind of obscure references, beating around the bush because she's embarrassed to come out and say it directly and she hopes that what she does say elicits the desired effect. . Even once she has the person, some things are very difficult to talk about, and she'll hold them bottled up inside till she's depressed because she can't find a way to express them, and the fact that she's totally afraid that if she does her intended will just dismiss them and her anyway, even if she knows they won't. . She's very insecure, but it doesn't mean she won't give the relationship her all, and do everything in her power to try to make the other person happy.

tagged by: @adversitybloomed (thank you my sweet~! 💚💗) tagging: @holified, @akarxuu, @theunknownmasks, @diivineray, @serenitasmusas And all of you lovely people.

[emblazons]

a bunch of people think st does a very poor job at acknowledging the characters' trauma and all the things they went through. what do you think of this?

anon here with the tough questions! lmao

Honestly—and this is just an opinion (though I have evidence for why I think these things, as always)—I would say that the criticism of not addressing trauma (or even queerness) openly is probably one of the most valid criticisms of Stranger Things I've seen leveled at the show....though I personally don't think it's because The Duffers are incapable or "don't want to." Let me see if I can explain.

cut because a text wall about networks, capitalism & america

From the get, the Duffers had to contend with the fact that they wanted to do a number of things many networks wouldn't let them—Netflix was like, network 15+ they pitched to, and while Netflix allowed them to retain some element of creative control (writing and directing their own story), there are obviously still points of contention that come up between network and creator that show a difference in desired intent / storytelling and network sensibility. One I remember clearly was the criticism they got for showing people smoking, and how the show after S1 completely removed the cigarettes from any and all character narratives (think back to Joyce talking about needing "a pack of camel's," along with Hopper and even Steve smoking in S1...only for that to never come up again).

Now...the cigarette thing is a bit minor, but still shows that there is a LOT of weight Netflix still holds over The Duffers and their creative sensibilities—and when I think about how this show has moved SO readily out of the "Duffer's intended audience" space and into "Netflix cash cow / cultural zeitgeist" space, it becomes clear why Netflix's love of money and their need to "keep the show palatable to as many audiences as possible" (😒) would mean they would keep The Duffers from pressing deeply into topics that would mean talking about and showing beloved 12-18 year old characters having explicit conversations about/reactions to their trauma, whether that be tied to abuse, psychological torture, kidnapping, CSA, racism or even queerness.

—I do think The Duffers have tried to accommodate this "stifling" of their creative vision with an wide array of very creative and sometimes absolutely hysterical subtext, but...as we've seen many a time in fandom, a lot of people are either not satisfied with subtextual reasoning or just miss it entirely, which leads to people saying things like "you should have made it clearer because the average person won't see that" (should sound familiar)...which is kind of the point. If you can build plausible deniability into the things you're doing, you can get away with them in front of audiences that aren't trained to pick up on them...and considering all of the stories that influenced M&R / their interviews, I think they're relying on subtext to shove their less delicate sensibilities into the "Netflix version" of their tale.

Basically: what you see is The Duffers vision filtered through the sensibilities of Netflix's desire to get as many people as possible to watch the show—and given that this includes both bigots and children...we're stuck in many ways with a "sanitized" version of the story The Duffers had to tell. The fact that they're cagey as hell about their slightly "freer" ending AND are finishing ST with Netflix and then moving all of their darker shows to their own production company makes me believe this even more, too—especially given that wanted to make this show on HBO...and we all know the sensibility difference between HBO and Netflix. That says enough about the "content filtering" aspect for me to believe its at least partially true.

All that being said: I do think they could have done a LOT more to show their positions on things like racism in Lucas and Erica's storylines, and do hold a lot of frustration about the fact that Netflix is asking them relegate queer character development to subtext—though anyone who saw the sociological changes in America and media after what we went through in 2016-2022 especially KNOWS why you would do something like that. It's been a deeply troubling and brutal time in the country Stranger Things is both set and created in...and given that capitalism still wants money from bigots, this is where we're a little bit stuck.

So, to finally answer your question, I guess: Yes. I agree they should have done more to make trauma clearer across the board in this show, and wish they would have in many ways, because it would have made the story stronger. That said...I understand almost entirely why they couldn't/didn't, and don't want to say Stranger Things having more subtext in several areas over explicitly stated makes the story less exciting to explore.

I do hope their caginess moving into the shows ending means we're gonna get the "darker stuff" explored more clearly though—and that, once we're done with the story, Matt and Ross get a chance to elaborate more on what they wanted without the filtering that network popularity placed on them.

Thanks for the ask!

[outtoshatter]

20 Questions for fic Writers!

finally getting to the tag games i've been forgetting! thanks for the tag @sugareey-makes-stuff this looks so cute and fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 93....for now! I have a secret little goal to hit 100 before the end of the year but realistically that probably won't happen.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,864,258! I'd like to hit 2mil eventually :D

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Teen Wolf for now! Although I've been trying to get myself to be inspired by others, it's just not happening. Although i finally finished watching Superstore the other day and intensely plotted out a fic that would fill in some missing stuff that was bugging me. but I likely won't do that lmao

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Haaa Son of the Sheriff [Teen Wolf, G, 3k words] Nature of the Beast [Teen Wolf, M, 56k] No Mercy [Teen Wolf, M, 64k] Love Don't Lie [Teen Wolf, T, 2k] Ride with me [Teen Wolf, T, 4k]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! almost always. sometimes I don't know what to say but I try to respond anyway. I didn't before, at first because when I joined ao3 the authors' whose works I commented on didn't respond so I just thought that was the culture, and then occasionally now because I'm just...very drained from pulling the story out of my head. MOSTLY though I genuinely love talking about my stories with people, especially when they have questions about my worlds; I put a ton of thought and care into my worlds and LOVE when people are interested!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ah...hmm. I don't know! i always aim for happy endings, they bring me the most joy in writing. Uhhh maybe Pulling Strings? It's more open than angsty, buuuut it is less outright happy than my other fics!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

HAPPIEST. That's so hard!! Because see above, all happy endings. I'll say an even tie between The Next Chapter and Fractured Starlight, just going by most recently picked fics!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

klfjsalkfslka I don't know that i'd call it outright hate. but i've gotten some WILD comments before. That were unquestionably FUCKING rude. But i don't know if it counts as hate. I have an entire folder i have named Hall of Shame of some of the worst offenders. It's gotten less bad now that I've archive locked all my fics, which made it so much more fun to post. I think the worst was either the several-paragraphs long, two part comment about how the reader was disappointed in me (??) and just a bunch of other rudeness, OR the person who, after I deleted their comment that pissed me off, pasted their comment back in with a bitchy little addition to let me know they felt entitled to leaving rude stuff on my fic. so i deleted it again c:

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write a lot of it! Definitely not PWP. Just emotion-focused sex scenes if it happens and works for the rest of my plot! it's just not as fun as action scenes for me most of the time c:

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm hesitant to call it stolen but someone did ask me permission to translate my fic, and I granted it, but they did not link me to it, or even post it on ao3, which bothered me. but i found it. and. they had translated it, sure, but they'd also changed it from a sterek fic....to a Derek x Peter fic. which was. a weird thing to do. that was not what we had agreed upon so i just messaged them mainly asking like. for why.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

LOL. Yes! 4 on ao3, and two out there...on other sites. that was annoying D< I am flattered people wanted to translate my fics! I now have a blanket statement on my profile for this sort of thing, including that I want translations only on ao3, and not posted elsewhere because of...well. #11 lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No :c I'd like to try! But i have so many to-write fics!! I have some vague plans for a fic with @dappledawndrawn but like. my list. it's so long. (Also add in my fears that I'd be overbearing or something and i will procrastinate this forever.)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I'd have to say sterek lmaooo. I have others I like and even love a whole lot I just haven't become obsessed with finding out how to fit those other ships in a whole bunch of other worlds like I have with sterek. Maybe one day! Mostly they're book ships hahaha

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh man. ;-; the third of my fairy tale series. I started it like 3 times but could never get it right! i had it all planned out and everything it just would not work. So annoying.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding for sure. Plotting, foreshadowing. Building the tale itself i guess? And action oh man am I obsessed with writing action and I am good at it. I love building worlds, blowing things up, and telling the tale of why, taking the reader on the twisty, interesting, exciting journey to the satisfying conclusion.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Personally, I think I need to work on my descriptions of characters, and tbh I have trouble writing emotional scenes! I'm working on it though.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it before! Looking back, I was annoyed at myself xD I mostly now stick to just writing it as regular dialogue, then "-in [x language]" afterward. I don't have anything against it I suppose, but usually it's not really important to the plot to have a single line in a different language than the rest of the fic (special cases happen) so I just don't hahaha

19. First fandom you wrote for?

e.e This question always happens on these things lkfdsalkfjdskaf SIIIGH it was Maximum Ride. c,:

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I am ever proud of Are You Ready? it's my baby, my love, I am so so proud of it and how my writing improved just trying to do justice to that story. So.

Thanks for the tag! Tagging @raisesomehale @rosieposiepuddingnpie @2dents @cephalog0d @halevetica @tkwritesdumbassassins @evanesdust and anyone else who might want to play who i didn't tag lfkjdslakjfs sorry

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

Did I say I was taking a break today? Yes. Am I sticking with it? No. I won't be doing a daily art today BUT I will be talking about Duck Newton on this fine evening, because I'm VERY ill about him. So one of my favorite things in this world when it comes to media is Nightmare angst / head canons. Now, we all know that Duck Newton is the chosen and has dealt with fucked up visions all his life, he's used to them at this point, but what if after him, Minerva, and Juno left Kepler, they came back? But they were no longer visions, just very intense night terrors. So I've already developed my head canon on this account about the time between the end of Amnesty and the time that the three of them go to the Amazon, how it's a few years before they decide to really do it. I can imagine that in the confines of Kepler, in those years, he never had dreams again, no nightmares, no pleasant dreams, nothing. When he slept, there was nothing but darkness from the time he falls asleep to the moment he wakes up. So what if they started back up again after he left Kepler? Maybe it's Sylvain that gave his mind some sort of protection from that sorta thing, since Sylvain is within Aubrey and y'all now how I feel about Aubrey and Duck WHICH I'M PROBABLY GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THEM AGAIN IN ANOTHER POST. LMAO. Anyways. So when Duck leaves this safety net that either the town itself, it's magic properties, created for him or Sylvain did, his mind is quickly corrupted by the darkness of his own mind. At this point, he ain't used to the horrors that his mind comes up with any longer, especially when they can begin exploring darker, deeper topics that aren't related to what the future holds. He begins to lose a lot of sleep over it and can't get over these nightmares. He wakes up, almost every night, panting, sweating, and depending on the dream, tears in his eyes. Now, Duck doesn't cry, especially not in front of people, but by himself I can imagine he tears up every now and then... which I might also make another post writing about that. That's a fun lil concept. Anyways, he wakes up and clutches his chest as darkness rims his vision, and he ends up waking up Minerva, which no matter what she's always by his side. I can imagine that these dreams are really intense sometimes. Sometimes they're about the past, sometimes they're about the monster that him, ned, and aubrey fought, sometimes they're about Ned's death, and sometimes, the worst of them, are his friends and family getting hurt. Monsters coming back, hurting, killing the people he cares for most. He wants to protect the people he loves, and while he never really uses beacon anymore, as he doesn't really have a reason to, monsters don't exist anymore... maybe... maybe I write something about that too. Whatever yeah, what I'm getting at is, what if he sometimes takes Beacon off the wall, talks to him, just kinda holds him. It makes Duck feel stronger than he might really be, strong enough to protect his loved ones. Anyways yeah. That's all I have for tonight but I have many more ideas brewing in my head, I just want to separate them into multiple posts.

[teecupangel]

OG anon of the Reborned Desmond in Unity. I'm mighty proud that my ideas spur you fun writing. I'll confess you a secret, I'm also og anons of the ideas I've sent you prior but I don't wanna have you see me aggressive or pushy because I enjoy your content immensely (I had bad experiences of people's harsh words in irl and online on my personality). Anyway, it's similar in Unity idea. What if Desmond is reborned in AC Rogue, like became Shay's childhood friend or Liam's older or younger brother. Or possibly in a time earlier so can Desmond be established in Brotherhood maybe master assassin for Connor's happiness. Haytham's confusion and frustration in some point in the plot that Desmond won't kill him but has a look of a disappointed or pained look of a family member and Lisbon is saved. Desmond and Shay could become platonic soulmates or slow burn childhood friends to lovers (up to you) or better yet Desmond unintentionally became mentor (he was supposed just be an assassin in the background damn it lmao) and Shay is like a bodyguard or right hand which had these intense sexual tension between the two. Sorry for messy and long ask

Ah, well, I don’t see a problem with your personality and I like the ideas you throw at me. To be fair, I do try to limit my time with everyone’s asks to a certain time so I can still write. So if you don’t see an answer, that only means it’s been pushed to next day or something.

Alright, let’s think about how to make this work.

As usual, we’ll keep the same limitation as the Unity AU one

Desmond remembers his life as Desmond Miles

Desmond will have his ancestors’ memories and skills but those memories will be vague

So he either gets reborn as Shay’s childhood friend or Liam’s older/younger brother. Since Liam is Shay’s childhood friend, we can combine the two and make Desmond’s Shay’s childhood friend who is also Liam’s sibling.

Now, according to AC wiki, Liam was Achilles’ first acolyte and it was Liam who also recruited the rest of the Colonial Assassins. He’s pretty much Achilles’ second in command and maybe even being groomed as the next mentor.

In this scenario, Desmond and Liam would both be inducted into the Brotherhood together (whether we keep the whole “Liam’s father got executed to save his son” part of his backstory is up to you, nonny) with Desmond being more of Liam’s shadow. Many will see him as the little bird who whispers in Liam’s ear. Everyone in the Brotherhood knows that if you want Liam on your side, you get Desmond on your side.

We’ll get to Shay later as we need to talk about how Desmond’s inclusion would affect the Colonial Brotherhood as a whole.

Achilles Davenport

Desmond would still remember how Ratonhnhaké:ton thought of him as a father-figure. He also remembers how Achilles sometimes treated Ratonhnhaké:ton like a stubborn child so he has mixed feelings for Achilles. What he does remember is that Achilles’ family would die. Here’s where we get a bit creative with this. Desmond doesn’t have actual medical know-how. What he did had was a Shaun who was more than happy to explain what killed Achilles’ family and how that could have been prevented, which literally boils down to “cleanliness”.

So, in this scenario, Desmond is kind of a clean freak. People assume it’s because he used to live in a dirty place and Liam never tried to correct them that Desmond had always been a clean freak since they were children. The homestead is always clean, especially the kitchen. Achilles learned to live with it because his son loves the ‘wash your hands’ song that Desmond taught him. In this case, Abigail and Connor live and that means that Achilles would be ‘milder’ than his canon characterization. (Maybe Abigail even treats all of Achilles' students like her children as well?)

Hope Jensen

The main difference for Hope in this scenario is how she controls her gangs. Desmond knows it would be impossible to stop crimes from happening but his words and his adherence to the Creed would resonate with Hope. Instead of having something akin to a Proto-Rooks, Hope would be in charge of something similar to how the media portrayed the golden age of the mafia. They’re criminals, yes, and they sell illegal shit but they’re organized and they have a code. They protect the people in their district and take care of crimes not their own. In exchange, the people (and maybe even the police) look the other way when they do illegal stuff. (Hope becomes a mix of Vito Corleone and Red Hood in this scenario… does this mean Desmond accidentally created the mafia in New York during the 18th century?)

Kesegowaase

Not much would change for Kesegowaase although he would consider Desmond as a close friend. They’re also hunting buddies and Kesegowaase would notice how many of Desmond’s movements are very similar to him or to other tribes that he knows of. Desmond would just wave it off as a coincidence or maybe even say “I had a great teacher”. Kesegowaase would seesaw between thinking Desmond had been trained by one of his people (or one of the other tribes) and thinking Desmond may have been blessed by one of their spirits.

Louis-Joseph Gaultier

Oooohhhh bbooyy. This one… okay. So… Gaultier will be the one that keeps butting heads with Desmond. A lot. Desmond would even argue against his inclusion as he sees Gaultier as violent and arrogant but Achilles will argue that his connection with the French army made him invaluable. Even his suggestion of just keeping Gaultier as an ‘ally’ would be denied because Achilles sees how loyal he is. “He is loyal to a master, not to the Creed!” will be Desmond’s main argument. So there are a lot of times that he and Gaultier would argue on what it means to be an Assassin and what the Creed means. Gaultier would emphasize on Desmond’s Irish immigrant heritage to belittle his knowledge about the Creed and Desmond will argue that blood doesn’t matter. On the flip side, Desmond’s constant arguments with Gaultier and critiquing of Gaultier’s actions make all the other Assassins have a better understanding of the Creed and what it means to be an Assassin.

Liam O'Brien

Honestly, I think Desmond should be his younger brother, mainly because that would make Desmond be of a similar age as Shay and because Liam just has big bro-vibes. Just imagine him being a protective older brother who likes to tease Desmond. In this scenario, Liam would feel responsible for Desmond’s safety (especially if we do decide that their father still dies for Liam’s mistakes) and he’s a bit overprotective at times which Desmond finds both tiring and also makes him feel warm inside. Liam would also be torn whenever Desmond and Achilles would butt heads. On one hand, Achilles is like a father to him, on the other hand, Liam also knows his brother long enough to understand that everything Desmond does is for what he believed is right. Achilles may have been the one to choose Liam to be an Assassin but Liam knows that it’s Desmond who embodies what being an Assassin is supposed to be.

And now, we get to Shay Cormac.

Shay met Liam first and Liam was the one to introduce Desmond to him. Desmond has no memories of Shay at all since, even before the memories of his Bleed took a hit, his memories of Haytham stopped before Haytham met Shay. Not only that but Achilles never told Ratonhnhaké:ton anything. All Desmond knew is that the Colonial Brotherhood will be destroyed by the Templars while Ratonhnhaké:ton was young. So he grew up treating Shay as a friend. They separated due to their family situations but Liam later reunites with Shay and invites him to the Brotherhood.

And this is where Shay gets hit.

Growing up, he saw Desmond more as Liam’s little brother. A small kid that Shay needs to keep an eye on because he can be a little strange and has a mischievous streak that no one would believe. Shay has lost count of how many times Desmond had made some asshole’s life hell without anyone realizing it was him.

So when he heard Desmond was one of the high-ranking members of the Brotherhood, he wasn’t surprised. Desmond had always been a sneaky little shit.

Then…

He saw Desmond as a young adult for the first time, maybe while he’s looking over reports Hope was showing him concerning the current situation in New York, and Shay just…

Stared.

Desmond as a child was cute. Maybe a little too thin but that was unfortunately normal for them. He always wore Liam’s old clothes which were too big for him.

But Desmond in his Assassin robes? Wearing clothes that actually fit him? Having grown up into a fit young man?

Shay gets hit hard. And Desmond is simply too happy to see him again to see it.

But Hope notices it.

And Liam freaking notices it too.

And now Shay doesn’t have to just deal with his growing affection for an oblivious Desmond. He has to deal with Hope’s teasing and Liam’s seesawing erratically between teasing him and threatening to eviscerate him. Shay’s crush is going to be the worst kept secret in the homestead that even little Connor Davenport knows about it.

But Desmond doesn’t.

Why?

Because Desmond is too focused dealing with the whole Kenway drama at the moment.

Because no matter who Desmond gets reborn to… He will always prioritize the three men he cared for the most.

And, at this point, Haytham Kenway was already in America (but Desmond has no idea where) and there were even slow ongoing talks of an alliance with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s tribe that Desmond has taken charge of.

And this is where I go back to my try-and-tested idea of Desmond spending lots of time with baby!Ratonhnhaké:ton and being bff with Kaniehtí:io. (*whispers*Ratonhnhaké:ton and Connor Davenport being brothers *whispers*)

But let’s focus on the first part of Rogue for this one.

One way for Desmond to learn that Achilles is messing with Isu bs is thanks to Hope. Hope and Shay were the ones to be ordered to find and analyze the precursor box and either of them could tell Desmond about it but, at this point, Shay is still ‘new’ and may be trying to get some brownie points from Achilles. On the other hand, Hope has long been converted to Desmond’s side and would definitely tell Desmond about all of these because she’s heard of how dangerous these items are from Desmond himself.

Desmond would strongarm his way to being part of the mission and might even sneak into Morrigan as a stowaway and only show himself when they were nearing Lisbon. Thanks to Desmond’s ‘affinity’ with POEs, Lisbon will definitely not happen (hell, we can even use some of the plot points from A Pirate's Son for this part XD) and the second part of Rogue would be changed to Desmond and Shay trying to secure all the other POEs in the manuscript they have.

And… maybe they start getting close during their travels and something develops between them during that time… (nudgenudgenudge)

Sidenote: This is also a bit similar to the idea I was thinking of based on @twitcherpated’s suggestion in AO3 of Desmond being reborn as the actual Connor Davenport. The only difference is that Desmond would be a bit young in that one and won’t be able to stop Lisbon but, even if he’s young, he can still comfort Shay and stop him from doing anything drastic while still in shock.

[youremyheaven]

💙

I don't have much to say except that I agree for the most part. Dating culture these days is toxic af and promotes hypersexual behaviour. You can either be a virgin or be in endless situationships bc most guys in their 20s rn think "relationships" are pointless. It's so shocking to me how men just expect to be served sex on a platter??? Like okay we'll have sex, do everything normal couples do but we won't call it a relationship and we won't commit to each other. There's a real erosion of values & principles. But on the other hand, I feel like another section of society is ultra conservative and committed to living the trad life. I don't think it's a good idea to put sex, intimacy and relationships on a pedestal. This is not to say it's not sacred. It is. But what makes something special is how we treat it. We must not elevate every experience to the godly realm because human beings are fallible and not gods and we'll only be disappointed in the shortcomings and lackings of our interaction when we expect godliness from them. People are flawed. We must love and accept each other as we are.

I'm of the opinion of that sex has become so easily available that most people don't bother forming a meaningful connection; this will lead to a sense of alienation and I'm sure 3-4 yrs from now we'll talk about how it's fcked society up. I'm actually pretty certain that there will be a time when dating apps are phased out as well. On the other hand, I don't want to think of love & romance as this once in a lifetime lottery akin to a religious experience. I believe you can love many people; people you truly profoundly connect to are probably going to be only a handful tho. Love is just love. It's like anything else. It doesn't matter if you had your first kiss at 15 or if you have it at 35. You don't have to look down upon others for indulging in things you're abstaining from.

I've been studying Tao Tantra and I realised that originally when these sexual practices were developed centuries ago, sex was understood as something that human beings needed to indulge in and good sex was considered an art in itself (hello Kamasutra), you had sex frequently and passionately but over the course of centuries, it's adopted a very puritan outlook where the focus is on preserving sexual energy (Tao originated no fap) which is such bs. Sexual energy is not some finite source that you can run out of. Granted that wanking off every day is kinda loser ish but suppressing your natural human nature is unhealthy af.

I digress. Sex & love are not non renewable sources. You don't run out of it. Ever. We are wired to love & make love. That's what I believe. You can have as many or as few partners as you'd like (my issue lies only with the quality of interactions you'd have with a partner since in our world most men are trash).

You can save yourself for later. You can do it rn. Its all up to you. I know it's hard being single when you're surrounded by couples but trust me there's enough love to go around.

Edit: I feel like I just emptied my brain out without really addressing or answering anything you asked me lmao I'm sorry 😐