#(who am i kidding im miserable every day)

[lith-myathar]

.

[semiotomatics]

i wish i could outsource my life lol

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AMITA for lying to everyone I know about my identity’s as a queer/neurodivergent person?

I (18M) am a bisexual, transgender man who is also autistic, ADHD, and OCD. When people hear this about me, even if they know me, I feel like they build up this image of me as an awkward, “cringy” 11 year old who’s obsessed with “cringy” fandoms. And while i have a qualm with this because I know they are looking down on people who are just less masked/higher support needs, I also dislike that they do this because it’s just not who I am. Without the labels, I mostly seem like just a normal dude, if not a bit nerdy.

I also used to be extremely bullied as a kid (7-12) to the point of a suicide attempt, mostly due to homophobic, transphobic, or ablest remarks about me. Since then I’ve completely changed community’s and do not talk to anyone i knew before high school.

When authority figures (Teachers, Show Directors, Investors of the teen programs I lead) apply ablest/transphobic stereotypes or prejudices to me, they also tend to be less,,, normal? around me. Less kind compared to other kids, call me an “inspiration”, or they’ll coddle me when I’m incredibly capable. I do a lot for someone my age- and I know the connections I make now at conferences and whatnot will help me in the long run. My dad’s family is poor, and my immediate family is more comfortable but not that much. I know I’m smart, and I can weaponize that to get a better life for my family by getting good scholarships and jobs in good fields. I can’t just let people who could be very important to my goals look down on me. So i just.. don’t tell them anything about me. They might assume Im odd or “not normal”, and for the most part I let them assume whatever, but if i’m ever asked directly about anything I deny it. Especially in relation to me being transgender; I have the very privileged ability to pass without any medical intervention, and I use that to pretend to be cisgender. Living in the deep south of USAmerica, most of who I am could make my social life very uncomfortable to downright miserable.

Here’s where the problem starts happening. when my social and (what i consider to be a) “professional” life occasionally touch, I wouldn’t be able to be out everywhere socially without someone I don’t want knowing finding out. So i don’t tell any of my classmates/friends/peers about any of my identities either. I hang out with queer and straight people, never be actively homophobic/ablest, and will be very vague about the two questions i’ve ever received about any of that stuff. It’s very, very exhausting to pretend all the time, every day, especially pretending that I’m cisgender because it’s a tricky game, but I can’t really back down and I’m afraid that I might get bullied again if I was ever open about it with classmates.

A few months ago, I was dating this guy, who i’ll call Kai (17M) Kai is also a transgender man, but does not pass at all and is comfortable with it. He’ll get shit sometimes, but also has essentially no straight friends. I told him I was queer when we became good friends, and then told him I was trans after we started dating. I also told him why I lie about being cishet or neurotypical, and while he didn’t seem happy he didn’t push it at first. I told him that I understood if he didn’t want to be in a secret relationship, but because of where we live and what I want to do I wasn’t comfortable with being out again. He said he still wanted to date me, and claimed he would support me, and we had a pretty good relationship overall.

A month after that, he started bringing it up again. He told me that I was more than my identity, and if people didn’t see me for who I am instead of stereotypes, it isn’t worth talking to them at all. And while I agree with the sentiment, it’d never be possible to just not hear someone if they were harassing me, and while I truely dislike a lot of the authority figures that I engage with, they are in the professional fields I’m interested in, and I’m incredibly lucky for getting where I am so early. Kai also said that since I am well known in our very small school (only 300 kids), being out could be a positive influence on what people think about autistic people or trans people. In a particularly heated fight, he even said I was doing a disservice or betrayal to my community by not representing or being proud of being apart of them publicly.

We broke up pretty soon after, but I think about what he said a lot. I know that I wouldn’t be the only out person at my school, and that my school is actually a lot better compared to most local schools, which are a lot larger and… dramatic, but I just don’t think I could be out without going back to how I used to be mentally. And Kai was right about how I could be a good influence on some of the meaner classmates- I do think some of my peers who I ingenuinely connect with might reconsider their prejudices if they knew I was transgender.

I’m intentionally choosing not to take the opportunity to do better. It wouldn’t ruin ALL my relationships with the authority figures I consider to be important holding, since it would just be my school, It might dampen one or two of them. Plus, I’m lying to pretty much everyone who knows me. They build relationships with a false idea of me, and I feel like an asshole sometimes because I’m not honest.

TLDR: I’m a transgender, autistic guy in a very bigoted community. Everybody thinks i’m cishet and neurotypical. AMITA for not being proud of who I am because of potential social losses, and AMITA for lying to people and giving friends/peers false ideas about who I am even if they would not be friends with me if they knew?

What are these acronyms?

[thehopelessexception]

is it just me?

i've been observing a tendency surrounding women —mostly between 20 and 26— where we can't find anything close to love (from men). women are not dating, nor living a normal life, developing a femcel-like point of view. and im saying this because i want to be loved just like anyone else, but are we the problem? or is there something wrong with boys? i mean, ofc there's something wrong with boys; but every year pass by and every time is harder and harder to find someone willing to put the effort to make you feel loved and understood. was it like this 50 years ago? 100 years ago? i am very much aware that our mothers and grandmothers suffered in the world they lived in, generally with sexist husbands and mandatory tradwife lifestyle. but i am also sure that there was some exceptions, way too many more than today.

and we tend to romanticize the past, probably there's something to do with our generation. nor millennials or gen z, the ones in the middle. the girls who grew up with enough technology but not so much. the ones that went crazy over boybands and fanfiction and hung up posters in our walls. the ones that went crazy in 2018-2020 with deranged feminism just to realise, later on, nobody really cared and it maybe was a little over the top. the ones that filled our beds with stuffed animals repeatedly every time we woke up just to throw them on the floor at night so we could sleep. the girls who spent their teenage years on tumblr writing code (before men took that away from us) and making playlists of marina lana and the 1975 so everyone on the internet could see how cool we wanted to look like. probably the ones that suffered some kind of bullying in highschool or some health problem related to how we didn't fit in or how bad we looked at ourselves in the mirror (yk what i mean). we weren't the cool kids in real life or it was just me?

now i'm observing how hard it is to adapt that teenager to adult years. and maybe it's me but i don't feel like an adult. i am a tiny ball of anxiety. i suffer too much stress. i am trying to finish my degree but i don't know if im worthy of anything because i dont have money, and i don't have time to work and study at the same time because i spend too many time thinking about it and feeling a fraud and a failure.

i don't know how to talk to boys either —nor girls, in that way—. and until some days ago i was quite sure i was willing and capable of spending my whole life alone. i've given up to anything because i felt it imposible to be loved. but lately my mind goes up and down with that scene of jo monologue in little women by gretta gerwig. and it also goes with the hot priest monologue of fleabag. and today i rewatched the classic he's just not that into you. are we condemned to be the tedious rule? am i?

i've seen all of my girlfriends suffering the same mysery. and i've seen the extremes. women giving up the love they deserve —because they accepted the fate of being the rule— by dating a jerk just because they are afraid of loneliness. and i've also seen women giving up everything else just because they are not willing to give up love. those are us. hopeless romantics who watched way too many romantic comedies and somehow still expect to find someone willing to die for us just like dicaprio in romeo + juliet. —or at least a patrick verona—.

what i've never seen was actual love. all the couples i met... they don't look happy. they don't look in love. they don't look like they enjoy their own company even. they look exactly like a picture of instagram. they exist just to make us feel miserable even when it's obvious they are not gonna last. i've seen couples of what? 7 years? gone. broken up. they grew tired of each other and of course they never looked like they had anything close to sparkles in their eyes. chemistry? none. and maybe it is my anxiety speaking but i don't want that. i refuse to have that. i want all or nothing. i want always and forever. i want everyone to look at us and think "if i don't have that i'll kms". i want family —even tho im not sure i want to get pregnant, what am i a childbride?—. i don't want to change anything to fit in with the standards of a boy. i want marriage even tho im not sure i want to be legally married. i want the posibility, the future. i want the emotions surpassing myself. i want to not know me anymore and then knowing me again. i want to doubt myself. i want my heart beating so fast i could kill someone for them. i want to believe god exists. i want to laugh of happiness without they making a joke. i want my sundays to not be deppresing because i can hang out with the love of my life and have fun. i want to be the "and yet" of someone willingly enough to fall for me every single day even if i am kinda insane all the time. i want someone who cares. someone who fantasizes with spending the rest of their lives with me and is going to put the effort to get to know every single thing about me and stay because he's blown away. and aparently that's setting the bar "too high" because we are the rule and not the exception.

people always assume that by being a romantic i expect flowers every day and cheesy comments about how beautiful i look; and that would actually make me want to puke because i can do that myself. i am confortable with myself, i like myself, i love myself, i have the ego. i am not really asking for that much i just want someone to love me with every single thing that's probably wrong with me. what i want is someone curious and smart. someone who pays enough attention or wants to. i want the chemistry off the roof.

and contrary to anyone's beliefs the bar is too low about everything else. every single girl probably wants the same thing. is it that hard for men to understand that women want to feel loved?

lately —worldwide— it's all a competition of genres as if humanity doesn't need us to interact to survive. it's a loop that opened up in 2013? with the tumblr-4chan gate and right now got translated to the real world because pick-mes are back and being a man is cool. and suddenly that's how nature works!! because apparently women are boring and just a hole. maybe they all need to go all alexander the great. but it's getting boring. and we as women deserve love as much as respect.

[livingddeadgirlrl]

smut of sam monroe from life as a house. i don’t like the movie cuz it’s corny BUT he’s so sexy and emo so. and hayden christensen. carrying on. aged up and 18+ characters!

it was everything you absolutely dreaded. moving to some random house, having to meet new neighbors, live next to them for the rest of your miserable lives. it was about three weeks that you had been living there with your mom now, and it was still lifeless. you had seen the people living in the house to your right-a couple in their early forties with some kids-nothing special. but the house to the left was always a source of entertainment. the two little blonde boys, and the snob for a dad, the blaring music (marilyn manson and limp bizkit) pouring out of the window directly across from your own…

you never cared to close those ugly drapes, simply leaving the sheer lace curtain you had pinned up to try to fix the ugliness to slightly obscure the view. obviously, the lace did absolutely nothing to hide what went on in your room. smoking weed in your underwear, filming yourself on your laptop for your twitter-you name it. you always felt a pair of lingering eyes from across the way. sometimes you would accidentally drop something on the ground while in your cute panties, bending down slowly to pick them up, emphasizing your pretty hips and back dimples. his eyes were always watching when you did this- his dark blue eyes under that black eye makeup. you hadn’t really talked to him before, but you saw him around school sometimes. You’d glance and offer a small smile during lunch when you saw him, usually smoking a cigarette, but never really exchanged any words.

one day, just before last period, you ran into him heading to the parking lot, intentions set on skipping class. guess you weren’t the only one who wanted to leave. you were walking to your car, keys in your hand, a cigarette hanging between your lips. as you leaned in to reach for the handle, you caught a glimpse of someone. you looked up, and oh god- fuck im in trouble. it was him. your neighbor. the same one you borderline flash every time you take a shower. he offered a halfhearted chuckle and a small smirk. you stood there awkwardly, pulling the cigarette from your mouth as you stood back up. “hey… neighbor.. right..?” you said with a soft and awkward chuckle. “got a spare?” he pointed to your cigarette, walking closer to your car. you reached into your front pocket of your pants, pulling out your pack and handing it to him. he grabbed the pack, leaning on the side of your car, carefully picking out a cigarette and placing it in his mouth. “got a light?” he asked. “oh-mhm.” you reached in between your tits, pulling out a zippo lighter. he chuckled softly as you lit it for him, slightly admiring the sight. “thanks,” he said as he offered a gentle nod, resulting in a soft nod from yourself in return. “hey- mind if i ask for a favor?” he asked in a lower tone, leaning in towards you more as he took a drag from the cigarette. “sure..” you replied slightly hesitantly. “can i use your shower? at home? my dad doesn’t have functioning plumbing at his place,” he clicked his tongue softly. “oh- are you staying with your dad?” you asked, thinking maybe you shouldn’t have asked that-maybe it was a sensitive topic. but he responded anyway, no hesitation. “yeah, for the summer. dude’s forcing me to stay while he builds some stupid fuckin house.. that’s why you probably haven’t been seein me from your window..” he added in a low tone, leaning even closer towards you. “aahh.. i see.. well yeah, you can use my bathroom. that's fine. wouldn’t wanna have you going without showering…” you chuckled softly. fuck, why am i trying to make jokes. he probably thinks im fucking stupid. you thought to yourself. he was so your type. the black hair with the blue streak, his plethora of ear piercings, his labret piercing, his style. he was so hot, and you were making stupid jokes. “alright, thanks.. can i come by later today?” he asked softly as he looked down at your lips, then looking back up into your eyes. “yeah that’s fine.. just knock on the door and i’ll let you in,” you replied.

later that day, you found yourself in that very shower, the mirror steaming and the hot air wafting from the crack in the door. sam had showed up to take a shower, without any warning before coming. he knocked on the front door, just like you had instructed, yet you weren’t there to open it. instead, it was your mom. she opened the door, not expecting any visitors. “oh, hey.. is y/n here..?” he asked. your mom instructed that you were busy at the moment, but he could wait upstairs for you. she let him in, and he journeyed upstairs to wait in your room. as he walked down the hallway to get to your room, he heard the shower water running. he wrapped his fingers around the door handle, twisted it gently, and to his surprise, the door was unlocked. he pushed the door open and closed it behind him. he leaned his back against the door and took in the full sight of you. your shower was textured glass, hiding absolutely nothing. the blood immediately rushed to his cock, his tripp nyc pants tightening around it. he brushed his fingertips against it, giving him a tiny bit of relief. he had been so pent up, not being able to jack off at his dad’s place due to the lack of privacy and NO WALLS FOR THE BATHROOM!! he was practically edging himself that entire time. he needed relief, and stat. he walked up to the door of the shower, knocking on it. you jumped slightly, letting out a small ‘eep’ like sound. you cracked the door open slightly, barely covering your tits with one arm and holding the door open with the other. “i did not know you were coming,” you expressed with a slight rosy hue creeping up to your cheeks, your hair stuck to your shoulders and dripping down to your tits. “well, i was gonna call.. but i realize i don’t have your number… so i thought i’d just.. stop by…” he whispered in a husky tone, leaning his face closer to you. “well.. I’m not done yet but.. you can join me if you want…” you replied softly, leaning your face closer to his while looking up at him.

his hands immediately shot to his waistband, unbuckling his studded belt, fingertips quickly unzipping his pants. he slid them down quickly, the metal jingling from the chains on the pants. he quickly slid off his boxers, stepping out of them and ohhhhh my god. hes hung as fuck. you gulped softly at the sight. he was already hard as fuck, his tip throbbing and pink. he quickly pulled his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side along with the rest of his clothes. you cracked the door open more for him, letting him step inside. the hot water hit his shoulders, wetting his hair and dripping into his face. you pumped shampoo into your hand, slapping it onto his hair and massaging it in with both hands. as you raised your hands up to wash his hair, your full body was exposed for him to see- your big tits that were glistening from the water, your small waist that was stretching out even more as you lifted upwards-your pretty hip bones pronounced, your pretty thighs. he scanned it all as you did this, and oh so slowly. you tried to keep your eyes on his hair, desperately trying to not look at his massive cock about to poke you in the stomach. you leaned forward more to wash the back of his head, accidentally pressing your abdomen into the head of his dick. you let out a soft gasp, looking up into his eyes while laughing softly. “you’ve been driving me crazy…you know that?” he whispered softly. “what do you mean…” you asked. “all the times you’ve gotten naked in front of your window while i was there… i know you saw me,” he continued. you let out a soft hum in return, tracing your fingertips on his thigh gently. his leg and cock twitched softly at this, biting his lip softly as his eyes met yours. “seems like you need a little help here, huh..?” you asked, looking down at his throbbing cock. “haven’t been able to blow a load at all at my dad’s… no privacy,” he whispered closely, his lips grazing your own. “want me to help with that…?” you looked up at his eyes, then down to his lips. he nodded softly, immediately crashing his lips into yours. he kissed you hungrily and desperately-like he wanted to devour you. he was a starving man. he slipped his tongue into your mouth with fervor, his hands resting on your hips and tracing over them with his fingertips. as he continued kissing you, he let out a soft moan. he picked up the pace, kissing you more intensely, when he pulled away, gasping and letting out a whiny moan. he had just shot a load of cum onto your thigh–just from kissing. boy was he pent up. this poor sexy emo man needed you so badly, he was practically in heat. after shooting his initial load of cum, he still had it in him! he needed more, and desperately. he kissed you again, his fingers gently tracing over your throbbing clit, swiping two fingers between your slick folds. you whimpered softly into the kiss, rocking your hips slightly, wanting more. he pumped his thick and long cock (roughly 9 inches.. yeah.) with his right hand, pulling away from the kiss softly. “is this okay..” he asked in a breathy whisper, his lips hovering over yours once again. “mhm-please,” you whined out softly. he lowered his head to kiss your jawline, biting on the flesh of your neck softly as he lined the head of his cock to your slit. he tapped it a few times and then pushed. he pulled away from your neck to watch the sight – your pretty pink pussy sucking his cock in so tightly, inch by inch. you leaned up against the shower wall, pulling him closer to you by the back of his neck with one hand. you also watched the sight – his painfully big dick pressing into you, creating a soft bulge in your lower abdomen. you whined softly, holding onto his neck. “m’so big-” you mumbled, your lips parting gently. he whimpered in response. “fuckyoure so tight” he whispered breathily into your ear in a whiny tone. he held your hip in one hand, his other hand toying with your clit. his lips found his way back to your neck, littering soft kisses and bites all over. he pushed his cock in deeper, causing you to whimper out again.

[player1064]

jan 2019 pleak 🙏

WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP

---

January, 2019.

“Ugh, Carragher invited me to his birthday party.”

David looks up at Gary over his glasses, does a pretend gasp. “Your friend invited you to a party? Someone call the fuckin’ press, this sounds like the start of a national crisis.”

“Oh shush, you. D'you think I actually 'ave to go?"

"He's turning forty, ain't he? That's a big'un."

Gary hates parties. He hates Liverpool. He hates parties in Liverpool, or he will once he's actually attended one.

He remembers the Carragher convoy at international tournaments, knows they'll be out 'til the early hours of the next morning, which means that he'll have to be out 'til the early hours because he's never in his life left a party early and he's not about to start now. Which means that he won't be able to drive home at the end, which means that he'll have to stay in Liverpool overnight, and this is sounding worse and worse by the second.

"Don't suppose you fancy comin' along too?" he asks David, because why should he have to suffer alone?

David, because he is much more of a miserable bastard than people give him credit for, hums and says "can't, I'll be in London."

"I've not told you when it is yet, you twat."

"Whenever it is, I guarantee there will be very urgent business I need to attend to. In London."

"You're not very nice."

"Oi! I am delightful."

*

Just close friends and family, Jamie had said.

Gary's yet to see anyone at this fucking party that's not related to Jamie somehow. He's not sure what Jamie would qualify as a 'close friend', but it can't be too tight a group if he counts Gary among them. He'd been expecting to see Stevie, at least. Jamie's an antisocial prick who tends to rub people the wrong way but Stevie's managed to stick it out all these years, and Glasgow's not that far away.

But two hours in and there's nobody else from football there.

He'd chatted to Jamie's dad for a while, reminisced about Big Nev - a unifying power if ever there was one. Gary's not sure he's ever met someone that knew his father who hadn't loved him. He's caught up with Nicola, entertained Jamie's kids - or tried to, as much as you can with two spoilt unimpressed teenagers.

He's starting to run out of ways to pass the time, and the party's still going strong.

There's not been much opportunity to speak to Jamie, not properly. Not that he's got much to say - he'd seen him at work just a couple of days ago, and they text pretty much every day anyway. And it's not like he's brought him a present, or even a card, so he doesn't actually have a reason to pull him away from his friends.

The more he drinks, the harder it gets to parse the Scouse screeches of the other guests into recognisable words, so he grabs a can of coke and goes to hide in the bathroom for a bit, decompress.

He's checking his emails - because it's midnight on a Saturday, why wouldn't he be checking his emails? - when the door swings open, startling him. Jamie stumbles in, flushed from drinking, and when his eyes land on Gary his whole face splits into a grin.

"Gaz!" he cheers, much too loud for such a confined space. "Was wonderin' where you'd got to, I'd been startin' to think you'd flaked out on me."

Gary shrugs. "Never, Carra, you know me. Just needed a time out."

"Ah," Jamie says, nodding sagely. "Were you getting' all - " he waves his hands around his head, as if that's explanation enough. "Wassit called, again? Senses… sensory overload, innit?"

"You been talkin' to Becks?" Gary asks suspiciously, because he's the only person he can think of that uses all those weird therapy words in casual conversation. Always, at big parties, squeezing Gary's hand and saying I know it's loud, Gaz, I know it's too much. Just keep your focus on me.

"Why the fuck would I wanna talk to 'im," Jamie scoffs, and Gary feels his heart rate pick up.

Just keep your focus on me.

He thinks… he thinks there must be something wrong with him, he must've had more to drink than he thought, because -

Because he's looking at Jamie, and he finds he doesn't want to think about Becks at all. He almost wishes - and it's crazy, there has to be something wrong with him - he almost wishes there was no Becks to think about.

Jamie's looking back at him with those piercing grey eyes, and Gary's clenches his hands at his sides before they go and do something stupid like reach out to him.

He clears his throat. "Enjoyin' your party?"

The scowl fades from Jamie's face into something softer. "Yeah," he says, nodding vigorously, "it's sound."

*

It's still dark when David is woken by Gary bustling around the bedroom, but it's the middle of winter and they have blackout blinds so really it could be any time at all. He grabs his phone to glance at the time - it's not quite 6am yet, much too early for him to be waking up. Much too late for Gary to be coming to bed.

Gary comes over and pats his hair clumsily, says "sorry, Becks, din't mean to wake you. I'll go to spare room."

David's eyes are too heavy to roll them at Gary, but he huffs an exasperated sigh and wordlessly lifts up the covers for Gary to climb in next to him.

Gary climbs into bed fully clothed and immediately snuggles up to David, the way he'd never admit to liking when he's sober. He bunches his hands in the fabric of David's t-shirt and rests his head on his chest, his breath smelling like sweet wine.

"Thought you were staying over in Liverpool?" David mumbles into Gary's hair.

"Called a cab," Gary replies vaguely. "Was missin' you."

"'s only been a few hours, weirdo."

Gary whines unhappily, so he adds "I missed you too. Will you let me get back to sleep now?"

[ibelongto-tylergalpin]

Could you do a Steve Harrington HC where the two of you take all the kids to the pool? They could tease you about being mom and dad 🥺

SLAY IM BACK!!! idk for how long tho cause my motivation to write is disappearing and appearing every few days so LETS HOPE ITS BACK FOR A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME (also this has been in my drafts forever im so sorry it took so long) also this was not proofread just like any of my other shit and its 3:30 am so sorry if the end kinda sucks I TRIED.

~It was almost the end of summer, and you could tell that the kids were miserable

~Mainly because El and Will had just moved to California and they had no idea when they would see each other again, but also because school was starting soon and they didn’t wanna go back yet

~You were sure that they were at home with the windows open and multiple fans on because it was a little over 90 degrees out, so Steve called Dustin and invited him and the rest over to his house to chill in the pool since his parents were gone for the week

~Before you knew it everyone was at the front door with their towels and swim suits (Everyone meaning Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, and Robin)

~As everyone was waiting for the bathroom so they could change, Dustin was bothering Steve because he had no good snacks 

~After a few minutes of Dustin’s nagging, Steve eventually gave in and told everyone that Robin was in charge while the two of you went to the grocery store

~The two of you were walking down the aisles, Steve pushing the cart while you grabbed chips and drinks. You also got things to make sandwiches for everyone when they get hungry and ice cream.

~You guys went to the register, paid, and left, but not before the cashier told you guys how cute the two of you looked together

~Steve trying to hide his beet red face>>>>>>>

~You guys got back to his place and saw that everyone was already in the pool

~“I thought I told you guys to wait for us?!”

~“You guys took too long” Lucas said as he shrugged

~“Where’s Robin? She’s supposed to be watching you guys”

~All of a sudden, Robin popped out of the water, causing Steve to scream

~“God, Robin! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

~“Nice shriek, Harrington. Very manly.” Robin said as she swam backwards towards the deep end where Max was relaxing

~You went inside and started putting the chips in bowls and you put the drinks in a cooler while Steve was getting changed. You were going through your backpack trying to find your swimsuit (shout out to everyone who can’t find shit in their bags because its like a bottomless pit)

~You finally found it and as you did you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist

~“Hey beautiful”

~“Hey handsome” You said as you turned around and wrapped your arms around Steve’s neck. 

~“How did I get so lucky? You’re so amazing”

~“I know I am” You said as you rested your head on his chest. He pulled you closer and gripped you tighter as he rested his chin on your head.

~“And I’m...?”

~“Fishing for compliments” you said, teasing him

~“C’monnn” he whined

~“Fine. You’re amazing too. And very gorgeous. And you’re the perfect boyfriend. Happy?”

~“Very” You could hear his smile

~“Y’know, it’s really sweet of you to do this for the kids. It’s cute that you care about them”

~“Those little shits are nothing but trouble. I only did this cause I knew you felt bad for them.”

~“Yeah, sure. It’s okay to admit it Steve. You care about them. After everything we’ve been through with them, they’re like family. I know you love them.”

~He stayed silent for a second, not wanting to admit it

~“I hate it when you’re right”

~“Well then you must hate me all the time”

~Steve broke away from the hug and lifted your chin so he could kiss you. The two of you stood like that for a few seconds before you heard a soda can pop open next to you. You looked to the side and you saw Dustin standing there watching you guys

~“Dude. How long have you been standing there?”

~“A loooong time. You guys are cute. It’s disgusting”

~“Get out of here before I kick your ass, Henderson”

~“Steve! Don’t be rude” you scolded your boyfriend

~“He completely ruined our moment!”

~“Doesn’t mean you can threaten him with bodily harm!”

~“Uh oh! Mom and Dad are fightinggg!” Dustin yelled as he walked back to his friends in the pool

~“I’m sorry, what? Mom and Dad?” You said as you walked over to them

~“Yeah. Y’know since the two of you are always looking out for us. You’re the mom, Steve’s the dad.” Mike explained

~“Yeah and Robin’s like the cool aunt” Max added

~“Wow, high praise” Robin said as she floated towards Max and fist bumped her

~“That’s insane. We’re not your parents” 

~“Obviously, but whenever we’re out you’re parents of the group. Y’know?” Dustin said, trying to explain

~You just stood there not knowing what to say so you went inside to change

~When you finally got in the pool you were relaxing in the shallow end with Robin and Max while Steve was messing around with the boys.

~After a little while Steve and Lucas called you and Max over and suggested that the 4 of you play chicken fight (that one game where someone is on another persons shoulders and you have to knock down the other team)

~You get out of the pool and force Robin to help you make the sandwiches for everyone

~When everyone’s eating all the kids are like “Thanks mom”

~“I’m gonna push you all in the pool if you keep that shit up.”

~After you’re all done eating you sit there and talk for a bit before getting back in

~Since you were still a little full, you decided to just chill on a pool-floatie and listen to music on your walkman 

~You couldn’t relax though, seeing as the boys were starting to get rough again

~“Lucas! Stop throwing water in Dustin’s eyes!”

~“Mike! Be careful! The floor is wet and I don’t want you slipping!”

~“Max! Stop trying to drown your boyfriend!”

~“Dustin stop laughing at Max trying to drown Lucas!

~“Y/nnnnn! Lucas shot me in the eyes with a water gun!”

~“Lucas! What did I say about getting water in Dustin’s eyes?!

~“Steve! Y/n! Help!”

~You and Steve immediately jumped into the pool and swam over to Dustin who was yelling and when you got over he said he got a cramp and that he was okay now

~“I swear to god, Henderson”

~You were lounging on one of the chairs by the side of the pool, finally getting the peace and quite that you wanted, since the kids had started playing Marco Polo

~You just sat there relaxing when Steve went up to you and tried to snuggle up to you

~“Steve! You’re all wet!” 

~Instead of getting up he re-positions the two of you so that your legs are to his sides and he’s laying in between them against your chest

~“Ugh I swear to god, Harrington, you’re lucky you’re cute”

~He didn’t say anything in response, instead he just dug his head deeper into your chest and started rubbing circles on your thighs

~The two of you just laid there in a comfortable silence... that was until-

~“OW! SON OF A BITCH!”

~You and Steve immediately jolted up to see what had happened and who had gotten hurt

~You saw Mike on the floor clutching his ankle as Lucas and Dustin scrambled out of the water to run to him

~“What the hell happened?!”

~“I was running to get the water gun so I could shoot Lucas and I slipped and fell. Fuck, it really hurts. I think I broke it”

~“No, you didn’t break it” You said as you examined his ankle. “You probably just sprained it. What’d I tell you about running around the pool, Mike? It’s slippery as fuck! You’re lucky it’s just a sprain”

~You told Steve to run to get the first aid kit in the house, hoping there’d be something to wrap his ankle in. You used to work at the public pool over the summer sometimes so you knew exactly what to do in this situation

~Steve came running back with the first aid kit and you quickly but carefully wrapped Mike’s ankle

~You all decided it’d be best to go inside since the sun was starting to set and they would have to be home soon.

~Once everyone had gone home, you and Steve were laying down in his bed

~“You’re so great with those little shits, y’know? You’re gonna be a great mom to our future kids someday”

~“Our future kids?”

~“I mean, yeah... unless you don’t see us together in the future? Shit, never mind, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it hap-”

~“How many?”

~“Huh?”

~“Our kids. How many?”

~“Oh, I don’t know. I always dreamed of having a big family. Having 5 or 6 little nuggets kinda running around”

~“6?! God damn, Harrington, my poor vagina”

~He let out a laugh and pulled you closer into his chest

~“I mean it doesn’t have to be 6. I could settle for 3″

~“3′s a good number”

~“3 it is. 2 girls and a boy”

~“We’d be awesome parents someday.”

~“Yeah, someday”

[godlytemperance]

npmd headcanons because my brain is rotted <3 <3

heehee hoohoo i am rotating the entirety of hatchetfield in my brain

im updating this as i think of more stuff so bear with me if this gets stupidly long

richie has audhd. i know this because he is me i am him we are EACH OTHER /j

ruth and richie met in the anime section of barnes and noble in middle school and nearly screamed when they realized they were going to the same high school later on

steph is lactose intolerant and is not brave about it ever. tries to share a hot chocolate with pete and spends the next three hours miserable

grace is doomed to kill in every timeline but it can be prevented by her best friends keeping her too occupied with mundane nonsense for her to find a gun

richie has so much tboy cringe energy. that man kins sasuke you cannot tell me i'm wrong

i have hit them all with my transgender and gay beam >:3c they're the friend group that hit their gender and sexuality realizations in waves. someone's egg cracked first (richie) and it set off a chain reaction

pete is genderfluid and usually presents masc (he/they)

bi with no strong preference either way

only recently began to dabble with femininity in his gender presentation

steph is gnc transmasc (he/she, used interchangeably)

bi with a masc preference

no matter who you are, if you have a crush on steph, you're gay. them's the rules pal

richie is transmasc (he/it)

aroace spectrum! he's demi on both ends, fluctuates pretty often.

somehow incredibly perceptive to romance unless it directly involves him, then he's as dense as a brick

ruth is a girlthing because she's swag like that (she/it/they)

pan with a fem preference

her preferred type is pathetic mascs and intimidating fems

grace is fem-presenting nonbinary (she/they)

formerly closeted lesbian

had the WORST case of comphet until she realized she didn't necessarily have to be attracted to MEN to be attracted to masculinity :3

max is transfem (she/he)

she's a butch lesbian!!! she doesn't feel pressured to be hyper-feminine after realizing she's trans, because she's already pretty happy with her outward presentation

saw all her new friends going through their various gender and sexuality realizations and is just "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me :)" (it did)

OH also paul is richie's uncle! richie's dad is paul's older brother. they don't interact much but it is literally Autism to Autism

if the group were to fall victim to any of the Lords in Black, it'd probably be as follows:

max - wiggly. rage hatred biting nightmare nightmare >:3

steph - nibbly. he's got the closest ties to the CotSC and also we need more nibbly rep

pete - tinky. duh. probs gets trapped in the box in timelines where steph dies before him and he desperately wants to bring her back

richie - blinky. idk it's just vibes to me. he seems like the kind of guy to go nuts for eye symbolism

ruth - pokey. she's a theater kid and i think that pokey would have a field day shoving her into the fucked up and evil spotlight

grace - all of them. they take turns babysitting her in various timelines. she is their favorite child

richie 100% uses anime terminology to describe normal ass situations. he calls steph a tsundere once and steph has to act like her world wasn't just shifted two inches to the left for the rest of the day

oh also in redemption timelines they have movie / bingewatch nights!! they cycle between everyone's favorite shows or films. it's the best part of their week every single time

max was cast as a leading role the one and only time she ever auditioned for theater and it freaked her out so much that she declined the role

richie's hair is Like That because he tried to get the cool anime spiky hairstyle to work for him (it didn't) (he doesn't realize this until college)

pete was a greek mythology girlie i just know this. something about him screams "i read percy jackson way too much as a kid"

after grace realizes she doesn't have to be a "perfect" christian, she swears like a sailor

also grace hand embroiders all her clothes as a hobby! (this is semi-canon, since she has embroidered strawberries on the cuffs of her jeans in the show)

the first time steph smoked ouid, he made the mistake of using cbd oil and a pipe at the same time. man was in SPACE

all of them are poly with each other but at different levels:

steph and pete are Dating dating. so are max and grace. wholesome yaoi VS toxic yuri

ruth and steph are almost definitely "best friends" in the historical sense

richie and ruth are qpp. if they were both 100% straight they'd probably be the most annoying couple in the world

pete and richie kiss sometimes but its genuinely platonic for them. just bros being bros (they are so deeply in love and neither of them realize it until years later)

ruth and pete are friends to ??? to lovers to friends who cuddle sometimes

richie and steph are polar opposites but they love each other to death. black cat and orange cat kind of relationship

max and grace barely intersect with the nerds but they still consider all four of them to be part of their weird situationship

(grace definitely experimented with all four of them, with max's permission. just to be Sure. y'know.)

max is doing her best to make amends with the nerds but it is very slow going. she has gotten to casual fistbump level with them though!

the nerds usually just look at max and grace from the sidelines like they're watching two wild beasts circling each other in their enclosure. their flirting is NOT rated pg and it still baffles them how the local prude and the highschool football star managed to get together

richie unintentionally dropped the fact that he has a fursuit - a timberwolf, because i'm projecting - and ended up helping everyone design their fursonas. pete is a traditional chimera (goat, snake, and lion), steph is a plain black cat, ruth is a flemish giant rabbit (she did research), grace is a sheep, and max is a checkered-tail nighthawk.

any time that the group gets spam calls, all they have to do is hand the phone to ruth and they get taken off the lists the moment she speaks. ruth was frustrated by it at first but it became a game of "how many companies can i inconvenience before they stop calling hatchetfield numbers entirely"

steph braided pete's hair once and he damn near proposed on the spot

ruth knows how to sew (from doing tech) and helps teach max how to mend her clothes! max ends up being really good at it! she goes on to teach the entire football team how to fix their uniforms and ruth ends up being the honorary team favorite for at least a year

im taking jon matteson's "richie should have blue hair in a movie version of NPMD" and fucking sprinting with it. he dyes his hair at least once a year and it's a wildly different color every time

ruth is the kind of gal to love games with lots of violence because it makes her feel like a badass vigilante (she can barely do a push-up in real life) (just like me)

steph is deeply afraid of large bodies of water. major L on his part seeing as he lives on a fucking island

bouncing off of the above hc, pete's afraid of planes. these two can't travel out of hatchetfield without one of them nearly shaking out of their own skin

max doesn't actually like football that much. she's REALLY good at it, yeah, but she'd prefer to play most other sports even if she isn't good at them! she likes the challenge of doing something she won't automatically win!

grace probably writes lists of things to keep everything in order. she's got lists of all her favorite foods, a checklist of daily chores, etc etc (it's also because she's got undiagnosed autism and she functions better when she has a Routine)

no matter what, pete will always stop and talk to the homeless man downtown. he doesn't really know why, though. (ted wishes he could say something to pete, but he never does. best to keep him at arms length.)

ruth really really really reeaaaally wants to cosplay but she's nervous that she'll be deemed as the "cringy weirdo" by other con-goers. she eventually admits this to richie, who rallies the group into a group cosplay for moral support

it takes a lot of convincing for them to find a fandom they all want to cosplay from. they settled on FNAF, specifically security breach bc it's Timely (they go to the con in 2022)

pete is glamrock freddy, steph is monty, ruth is glamrock chica, and max is roxy!

richie was glamrock bonnie and he gets so mad when the official design comes out a year later bc it was completely different than what he imagined

grace eventually agrees to dress up as vanessa (she never played the games) (she thinks FNAF is a real animatronic restaurant) (everyone they meet thinks she's method acting)

they end up crashing at ruth's place absolutely DRAINED. they all have imprints on their arms from carrying around an absurd amount of merch. pete nearly started a fistfight in the parking lot with a bakugo cosplayer. max nearly finished it.

they all agreed that it was one of the best things they've ever done and also to Never Do It Again

richie had a brief phase where he was obsessed with black butler and he regrets it to this day

grace and max both have scary dog energy but in different directions. max (post-transition) looks really intimidating at first glance but she's got golden retriever energy. grace will stare at you with the scariest fucking eyes if you're mean to retail employees

steph has always wanted a pet, but her dad never allowed it. when he moves out and gets an apartment with the nerds, they all agree to rescue a pair of bonded cats for his birthday. steph doesn't stop crying for at least an hour

steph and pete named one of the cats, while ruth and richie picked the other one's name.

Mittens is the Lautski baby, a black and white girlie who is incapable of mischief. she's like the disney ideal of a cat. she's a cuddle monster and will be so sad if you have to get up and do things without her

ruth and richie are the proud coparents of Sir Jotaro Gooberton (the Third). he is the most stupid tabby you will ever meet in your life and he has made the crime rate in the household go up tenfold.

a very common Lautski date night is going to the candle section of walmart and just sniffing every single one of those bad boys until they get a headache

[dontlookheswatching]

Okay here are the doodles! They all feature Ben, in ways that can be seen as either friendship or as a ship, I dont mind what you see it as although a few I did make specifically to be seen as a ship, because while they aren't a canon couple in au, my god they are so adorable and I can't help but draw them anyways-😭

There will be some lore underneath the pictures, and also I'll discuss a little more about the relationship chart and character refs im working on afterward

Okay, lore time. Im not a big pokémon fan. Nor am I big on the pokepastas, which seem, to me, to have honestly spiraled into their own mini fandom on the sides of creepypasta, which is actually pretty cool, I'd love to explore more of it, but again, im not big on pokémon, I've only played like two or three games throughout my life, and I just can't find the interest to do it. My sincere apologies if my lore for Silver upsets anyone who is super big on Pokémon or pokepastas for not being accurate, but then again, that's what headcanons are for, things that aren't canon. I've tried doing little research and the closest thing I could come close to developing lore for Silver was 'Snow on Mt Silver'. Im not sure if its the same character or something entirely different, so bare with me as I say im merging the two ideas from each into one. Now, lets get this mess over with because I have no idea what I'm doing im kinda revamping my own lore as I write this😭

If anyone noticed, on the birthday chart I have, next to Silvers name, in parentheses, is the name;

Jae-Ing.

It doesn't sound like an American name, now does it? No, thats because, im my lore, Silver had a life before death, he isn't just a glitch in the coding and what not. He was Korean. Throughout the more I explain, the more resemblance you'll see in Ben's story, thus why they get together well, because they share a somewhat same experience.

Going to a private high school in Korea wasn't easy. At all. 'Jae' didn't have it eady, either. He had to have a job ontop of all the schoolwork he was required to do to help his mother pay off the payments for attending a private high school. His father is out of the picture, having died before Jae was even born. He and his mother were extremely close, and even though they struggled at times, they never let their bond break.

Jae was 16 the year he died. He was a big fan of Pokémon, owning every game possible and knowing every small detail. He was harassed and bullied for his interests, and was always considered a nerd, barely having any friends. He was considered an outcast, and was always excluded of things other students did. He was very intelligent though, and did well in school.

Of course, that didn't matter to the other students.

Nearing the end of the year, staff had presented a field trip, one that would last three days, to hike Mt Hallasan. It was winter, however, so the mountain was covered in snow, so students were told to be extra prepared and to be cautious and stay within their assigned groups and to NOT leave the trail.

Jae wasn't going to go, but his mother had insisted on it, saying it would be a fun experience, and that he deserves a break anyways. So he went.

Not having any friends is why the whole trip backfired on Jae's side.

He was paired with kids who had commonly made fun of him, and being on an exciting field trip was no excuse. They'd constantly steal his things, such as his small console he kept with him in which he'd play his favorite games on. Or sometimes jackets or blankets he so very needed.

He was miserable and wanted to go home, but it was too late to turn back by the time the though occured to him.

On the second to last night, when their group had finally managed to reach the top, they thought it'd be funny to fall behind their supervisor, to walk with Jae, who walked behind all of them, to suddenly act like friends, forcing them all to walk slower and slower until the supervisor was far enough ahead to where he didn't notice one of the girls start pushing him as they resumed their bullying tactics. She kept pushing and pushing, trying to get him to fight, but Jae wasn't the fighting time.

She got angry, and kept pushing, until, before someone could say something, she pushed him over the edge of the trail, down a steep hill.

They ran off.

Didn't look back, didn't bother to try and help him. Instead, they ran, not wanting to be caught at the scene.

The impact left Jae scratched up and bruised. One arm was broken. He couldn't get back up to the trail, especially with a broken arm. He tried to find a way down the mountain, a way to find help. But night fell quickly and made it impossible to see. The temperatures dropped. His limbs began to freeze as he got colder and colder. He kept his bag close, scared. Scared, alone, nearing death. He kept going until he physically couldn't. Until his body gave out and left him a lying heap in the snow.

He died. Cold. Frozen, black limbs. Alone, scared, wishing he stayed home with his mother. Oh, and how the news broke her when her sons body was eventually discovered.

His soul was sucked into his console, into the very game world he loved, due to dark magics of some sort that I might explain in another post.

He lost any memory of his former life. He didn't know why he was so sad, why he was always scared, why he didn't like the cold. He didn't have the answers to his questions. He still doesn't to this day, even after exiting the console by the force of Slenderman and with the help of Ben.

He is yet to remember his past. But perhaps for now its a mercy that he doesn't.

---

ANYWAYS yeah that's my take on Lost Silver. Its kinda shitty and definitely not canon but it's whatever.

Moving on, I finally have the icons done that I'll be using for the relationship chart!

All I have to do now is digitalize them, make the chart, and boom, it'll be done. FinaLLY. so expect that MAYBE later today or tomorrow, we'll find out and see which happens first.

Now, about the character refs. I plan on doing them for Ben(which is done), Jeff(Hes next), Toby, Liu, and EJ, as they'll probably be the most frequently seen on the blog.

I would like to mention the fact my ref for Ben was a total flop. Its quite saddening especially since I spent more than a day on it, but its in the past, and can't control everyone's preferences. Hopefully the ones in the future will be more appealing, and if not, oh well, that just means I've got work to do and revamping and redoing them, because there's always room for improvement. I'd like to thank everyone real quick for the support I've already received so far, because even if the ref was a flop, im still extremely grateful for everything else!

Anyways thats the end of my super long post thank you goodbye im going to sleep this was too much writing

[azulas-lightning-bolt]

sooo in regards to @korrasgonefishing’s post that I rb mentioning my fem!mako post and how I was talking about how the bending brothers’ batman ahh backstory would be even more tragic for a little girl because humans can be miserable creatures and they were like ‘oh but what if it was more chill’ and then got talking about bloodstains and I was thinking

oh. mako was orphaned at 8 years old. her mom never would’ve had time to teach her little girl about periods because why would she? they have all the time in the world.

and that’s got me thinking, damn, she wouldn’t have known anything about girlhood. maybe the prostitutes who take pity might tell her the blood doesn’t mean she’s dying, but they probably don’t have much more to teach her that she wants to know, nor would many care to spare the time. and im sure canon mako was the same, not really knowing anything about what to do when he got older, only able to teach bolin how to shave when he’s got a million little nicks on his own face from trial and error.

and that was sad again, my apologies. but it could be happy! and guess howwwwww,, momboss and daughtercop!

so since they’re the sillies ever and also chronically emotionally impaired, their girlhood bonding moment when mako fucks up. (also both of them not really having ‘girlhood’ because of shit ass childhoods… hmm beifong family angst save me…. wait lin beifong learning how to girl on her own because toph never thought to teach her… toph realizing she fucked up way too late because it wasn’t forcing her girl to be a dolly the way toph’s parents had forced her, she just wanted to learn how 2 use eyeshadow,,,, beifong angst save me)

so anyways. mako is so #silly and unaware that chronic lesbianism exists so she’s trying to comphet so hard and going on dates with the biggest fuckin douchebags ever (bcuz they’re ‘manly’ and she has a reason other than being queer for not really liking them) and trying to convince herself she does like them. and essentially she finds this one guy who realllllly fucks her over and he comes into the station to try and embarrass her too, going off about how she could use some makeup and that she acts more like a man than him and. ouch. because she’s always had this problem, she tries to make herself a role model for bolin, but she hates it because being a girl is a piece of her identity that literally cannot be taken away and she’s just letting herself lose it? my fem!mako is cis but she has so many gender feelings because. yeah.

anyway lin to the rescue! who tf are YOU to come into MY station and harass MY officer? I suggest you walk ur smelly ass right back out or you don’t want to find the fuck out what I can charge you with. cuz she’s silly.

and then cue sullen pissy mako cuz she’s like… 18. she’s still a teenager and one of her biggest insecurities just got targeted in front of all her coworkers who she knows already don’t respect her. so she’s miserable the rest of the day,,, until lin to the rescue again!!!

she pulls her daughter aside cuz she’s worried (not that she’ll say so) and is like. don’t let him get to you cuz he’s an asshole and doesn’t really have much worth saying and less worth listening to. you’re allowed to wear light makeup and stuff at the station if you want to, and if you’re really bugged I can pinch someone’s ear to get you some accommodations. because she’s mother.

but then mako is like I FONT KNOW HOWWWW and crying cuz she’s lowkey devastated she never had someone to teach her… anything. she doesn’t really know how to use pads (being broke means you learn how to make bootlegs of, like, everything), she’s never even owned makeup, she hasn’t worn a dress since she was 7, and she doesn’t know any of the girl things every girl seems to know because she has no mom‼️‼️

and lin goes. hm. I am tragically reminded of myself right now. instead of Dealing with that, I’m going to aggressively help and thus permanently insert myself as a mother figure in my favorite kid’s life. so she, over time and gradually less awkward invitations to her house, teaches mako how to use makeup, slightly enjoying being able to experiment with mako’s uniquely distinct features. she teaches her about period cycles and how to cope, and goes shopping for pretty clothes that she insists on paying for at the last second (“you paid for the food already.” “yeah, chief, from the CHEAPEST VENDOR IN RC?? I thought you hated their food!?” she does. she knew mako needed to pay for something, and felt bad picking anything pricey.) and tells mako about her own girlhood and they both are girls.

this is insane wish fulfillment for me btw. what I could’ve had w my mom if I was normal lololol but anyway. I hope that got silly enough at the end cuz I was thinking about my own comphet era writing this and it hurt my soul a little bit !!

[waffliesinyoface]

anyways i just read all of naruto in like a week so i am now qualified to have The Most Correct Opinions.

Land of Waves arc is unironically the best one

its also the ONLY standard mission in the entire manga?? literally, at no point does anyone interact with a client after tazuna, its all in response to orochimaru/akatsuki. Naruto your resume is ridiculous. The reason Kakashi is 6th Hokage is not because Naruto wasn't strong enough, but because he needed to learn what the actual job of being a ninja entails. Yes you are very strong but you do need to have a basic grasp of paperwork systems.

Its kind of weird that, out of all the akatsuki, kisame is the one who hangs around the longest. Most of the others show up, do their bit, and then are immediately killed. Kisame is introduced first and dies last.

i've already mentioned this in another post but the Cycle of Hatred thing does not work. It worked as a motivation for Pein, but like. The reason the villages kept declaring war on each other wasn't for revenge, it was because their economic system was inherently tied to being the one with the strongest military and also they were paranoid that if someone else got too strong they would be invaded first.

Related: they should've had warring clans exposition and details about the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd wars BEFORE Pein showed up. If there were more details about wars in the past presented in a tragic-but-still-overall-necessary light, then Pein showing up and going "you miserable bastards trample over everyone weaker than you and deserve to be punished or it." It would have had more weight. Literally you could've slotted this during Naruto's initial training with Jiraiya as a follow-up to Hiruzen's "The chuunin exams are a replacement for war" speech.

Sakura why the fuck didnt you marry Ino

Kishimoto did Sakura so dirty at every turn. Literally every time she gets screentime she goes "THIS TIME... I WILL BE THE ONE WHO PROTECTS YOU...!" and has a cool moment, and then gets immediately overshadowed.

Literally at one point she's like "in the chuunin exams i was so weak... i hid behind you guys at every turn" and i felt like I was going insane because both during wave and the chuunin exams she has moments where she's like "yeah i dont have any special powers but i DO have a knife and you're going through me FIRST, fucker" which is honestly way cooler to me than like 90% of all the jutsu bullshit. Literally she stands in between a berserk gaara and a crippled sasuke armed with nothing but a kunai and pure fucking grit.

its very funny to me that the first time naruto ever does a nature transformation its rasenshuriken. Kakashi woke up in a cold sweat one day and realized he forgot to do the most basic teaching about chakra theory when they were genin. Whoops.

Im sorry but i legitimately do not care about the sage OR his sons OR the reincarnation twist. Its not interesting to me and I WILL be ignoring it. I'm all for the sage being reminded of his kids or the idea of history being cyclical, but explicitly going "no youre a reincarnation, this was Fated" is dumb and kishimoto SHOULD feel bad.

Edo Tensei arc is unironically very funny to me. Kabuto is having a mid-life crisis and has turned into a snake about it, and has decided to raise a bunch of dead badasses for. reasons. honestly i am not sure how his goals required obito or the akatsuki??

Anyways he raises a bunch of badasses and WHOOPS theyre all comedians. Deidara and Sasori are bickering, Itachi is being even more of an unhinged control freak than normal, the Mizukage is curbstomping everyone while berating them for not hitting the weakpoints he's explicitly telling them about, Tobirama is annoyed at everyone but mostly himself for actually coming up with this jutsu, and madara puts his entire plan on hold for a minute because he sensed his ex boyfriend and got incredibly horny.

Orochimaru gets brought back to life and promptly goes "actually i take back my plans about konoha, watching sasuke is INFINITELY more entertaining. Also I'm going to help out against the akatsuki because Kabuto's snake fursona is a tacky knockoff of me and I'm disowning him for being lame." I also liked him being chummy with Tsunade, that was very cute. I kind of wish Jiraiya HAD gotten edo tensei'd so that all three sannin could have been reunited on the same side? It would have been cute??

I feel strongly that Sakura and Karin deserve to go to some hot springs together and mutually complain to each other about being unfortunately attracted to the most misogynistic man on the planet after kishimoto himself. Orochimaru and Ino can tag along because they LOVE gossip and complaining.

Gai being the only person on the planet strong enough to beat the crap out of Madara is great, actually. Yes you can block all ninjutsu and genjutsu, but can you block his fists? No.

The "special chakra" produced in uchiha brains is actually entirely unrelated to the sharingan. It mostly just causes brain damage. This is why Madara, Obito, and Sasuke are all Like That.

Obito's heel face turn and the ensuing team up with Kakashi is, against all odds, actually good. I am willing to overlook Obito temporarily coming back from the dead through sheer willpower both because its cool and because we've already established chakra is bullshit and ghosts exist.

Obito your plans are dumb, your motivation is stupid, your critical thinking skills are nonexistent, and your coping mechanisms are insane. Somehow I still like you, despite this??

Does anybody at all like kaguya. Anybody.

Everything about the epilogue annoys me. Mirai and Sarada can stay, everything else I am actively choosing to ignore.

Frankly I'm confused and appalled that kishimoto wrote sasuke and naruto like that, and then put them in heterosexual marriages with other people.

[hostilemuppet]

So, backstory. I (39M) married my husband (29M) a few years ago (I was 36, he was 26). We got together after a passionate night of lovemaking in a motel room after meeting in a gay bar. I realised the next day that the handsome stranger was actually the guy who had made multiple attempts on one of my brothers (28M, then 24) life (dont ask why hes not in prison, money can accomplish anything) and figured out pretty quickly that he was using me to make my brother miserable. Now since he was playing with my heart, I thought that at least I should have my own fun, yknow? So I started messing with him a little, encouraging PDA that he wasn't really that interested in (were both pretty high profile so public image was important to him, and also im not sure if he even liked boys?), "influencing" him to buy me things I didnt need. I'm not a monster, I was just fucking with him a little for funsies.

Anyway eventually I asked if he actually loved me etc etc so he bought us cruise tickets and the proposal was beautiful and the ceremony even more so. He moved in and I let him bring very few of his belongings (hes a hippie). Soon we had twins (0F, 0M) (he stayed home while I worked (my job is not important)) and life was great. Soon the cat got let out the bag and he found out that I knew that he was trying to use me for my brother (who was also in on the situation). He said something about divorce so I threatened to tell everyone every little detail, even that /thing/ he likes. What followed was 8 more months of constant psychological warfare and the best sex I've ever had, until the unthinkable happened.

We actually started to fall for each other. Now I'm not proud, what with the twins and all, but I instantly filed for divorce (i am also a child of divorce, okay, I've got commitment issues and it made it too real, weve all got flaws). He got full custody and I got to return to my bachelor lifestyle. And it. was. MISERABLE. I missed him so much. I missed pissing him off. I missed when he'd get mad and put dairy milk in my coffee to make me sick. I missed the way every time we woke up hed say "morning, my bitch husband who I hate" and id call him sweetie and kiss him on the cheek as he stewed in rage. I even missed the kids!

A couple years (and several rehab admissions, mostly mine) later we ran into each other at some charity event that I don't even remember what was for. I asked him how the twins were doing. He said they were good. He said I was looking well. I returned the compliment. We both had some wine. Next thing I knew, it was morning and we were married again. Now, I know what you're thinking, but he said he missed me too, and yeah he's the only partner I've ever had that's lasted longer than 2 months so maybe I don't have the best history but I really think we can make it work this time!

Tl;dr: AITA for turning my little brothers mortal enemy gay?

Edit: stop asking who I am, none of you know who I am, I am anonymous, that is the point duh

Edit 2: i am not Floyd [lastname]-[lastname2]

Edit 3: I mean it, I am not Floyd. I dont care if the ages and timelines match up

Edit 4: just bc my husband is a hippie doesn't mean he's the only hippie you guys know of

Edit 5: a lot of celebrities have fraternal twins

Edit 6: fuck you guys

[bread--quest]

oc tournament: round 3 match 1

Jimmy:

guy who grew up normally in new york city. well normally except for the undiagnosed anxiety and adhd but other than that

theater kid in high school (very embarrassed about it now)

went to college for journalism, wanted to become an Actual Reporter but ended up working at knockoff buzzfeed instead

Hates It Here! so much. man is a miserable wet cat.

23-Year-Old Lies About Every Single Aspect Of His Life To Keep His Parents From Worrying

middle name is ellsburg (like daniel ellsburg, the guy who leaked the pentagon papers)

semi-canon (from a Phanta Crossover Event story i wrote once): being haunted by the ghost of the guy who used to live in his childhood home. jimmy as a kid looked up the name of the guy (it's Anthony) and tried to learn all about him and now he's like the only person alive who remembers anthony so anthony's following him around <3

cannot sleep without at least one other person around. gets really embarrassed if you point it out

hasn't cut his hair in months because he's afraid of scissors

walks around at work every day like ohhhh my god something is fucking wrong with me im fucking insane im like the american psycho. this is literally not true. jimmy you are not a bad person you are just experiencing alienation of labor under capitalism and also really bad undiagnosed anxiety. please eat a normal meal

005:

from FUTURE new york city (~2040s, i think)

clone created by legally distinct watchmojo (now owned by knockoff buzzfeed)

this is why their name is 005. what happened to 1-4? Dont Worry About It :)

specifically created to record the audio for the stupid countdown videos watchmojo churns out endlessly

why do they have to do this? WELL.

discount watchmojo (now owned by buzzfeed which is probably now owned by amazon but mainly. watchmojo) workers go on strike. because it is the future corporations are worse but the unions are better so the strike is held at stalemate for a really long time and legally distinct watchmojo starts thinking of ways to make Content™️ without workers

enter the modern unethical corporation's solution: clones

they live in a room and make videos. as time goes on they start deviating from their given scripts more and more and interjecting comments. eventually it just kind of spirals into Top 10 Reasons I Am So Afraid And Terrified And Let Me Out Of Here

then there are machinations and the union gets in touch with 005 through youtube comments and ?? breakout shenanigans violence i havent nailed down this part yet

anyway point is they get out and get kind of collectively adopted by the entire union and also specifically future!renuti (who is one of the organizers) and also future!jimmy (who is not involved in the union and is having the weirdest fucking day)

if you read through all that i love you here's a little reward. 005 eventually chooses a different name (haven't figured out what yet) and ends up using he/she/they pronouns :)

[verynastyspoon]

Brokeback Mountain (alternate happy ending)

Warnings: Smut and Mention of murder

———————————————————

Ennis and Jack were up on brokeback mountain. The sun was setting, a fire is burning and Ennis and Jack are having a long overdue conversation

“Me and Lureen divorced.” Jack said looking up at Ennis. 

“Oh, sorry.” Ennis takes a swig of whiskey.

“Ennis,” Jack sighs “what are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

Jack pulls Ennis close by his jacket.

“Ennis we’re both divorced now, and I don’t wanna spend another moment away from you. Whats stopping us from just living out in a cabin in the middle of nowhere?”

“Our kids, our jobs, getting beaten to death for being queer. The list goes on Jack.”

“Im sick of being fucking miserable Ennis!” Jack stands up. “Having to spend every god damn day alone not being able to be who I am, I’m fucking sick of it! Life is too short to stay living like this.”

“Jack do you think I fucking like this either!” Ennis puts his head in his hands and takes a deep breath.

Jack sits back down and puts a hand on Ennis shoulder. “We don’t have to, we can get new jobs and live in the middle of nowhere away from everyone who can hurt us.”

“What about our kids?”

“We both only get to see our kids once a month. We can move to a state in between Texas and Wyoming and when we get to see our kids stay in a hotel with them.”

“And how the hell would we afford all this.”

“Lureen was loaded and after the divorce I got half he money.” Jack takes Ennis face in his hands. “We have all the tools we need to be happy, the only thing stopping us is you.”

Ennis takes Jack hands off his face and takes them into his own. Ennis sits in thought for a while then looks up into Jack eyes. “You’re right Jack.” Ennis takes a deep breath. “Lets do it.”

Jack smiles brighter than he has in his whole life, happy tears brimming in his eyes as he pulls Ennis into a kiss. “I love you Ennis del mar.”

Ennis looks at him in shock not expecting the sudden confession. He pulls Jack into a hug and softly says. “I love you too Jack twist.” Ennis pulls Jack back into the kiss.

The kiss was different than normal. Most of the other ones were full of lust and intent, but this one was only showing their love and devotion for one another. Jack knocks of Ennis’s hat, running his fingers through his hair pulling him closer. Ennis runs in tongue along Jacks lips asking for entry which was quickly accepted. Their tongues move perfectly together after over a decade of practice.

Jack stands up taking Ennis with him, kissing all the way to the tent. He lays Ennis down and straddles his waist, kissing his neck and jawline. Jack unbuttons Ennis’s shirt, and kisses his way down after every button. Jack softly grinds against Ennis’s buldge, while rubbing his hands down Ennis’s newly exposed chest.

Ennis groans softly and pulls Jack back down into a quick kiss and starts unbuckling his pants. Jack gets the message and scoots down in between Ennis’s legs while unbuttoning his own shirt. Ennis pushes his pants and boxers down just enough for his half hard cock to pop out. Jack takes it into his hands pumping his cock to full length. He licks the underside of his cock from bottom to top before sucking on the tip. Ennis lets out a loud groan urging him to go deeper. Jack takes him in further into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down, using his hands for whatever he cant fit.

After a while of going this same rhythm Jack hollows out his cheeks and takes Ennis’s length as far as he can. Jacks gags but pushes through. He looks up at Ennis with tears in his eyes, dick all the way down his throat, pubes brushing against his nose looking absolutely pathetic. All Ennis can think about is how beautiful Jack looks choking on his cock.

“Fuck,” Ennis groans, pulling Jack off his length with a loud slurp. He makes quick work of Jack’s pants, switching positions, Ennis now straddling the others waist. Jack kicks his pants the rest of the way off as Ennis spits on his fingers and prods at Jack hole. One finger slips in with ease, quickly followed by a second. They pull each other into a passionate kiss, as Ennis scissors Jack open.

Ennis pulls back and grabs his cock, rubbing it against Jacks already abused hole. Jack wraps his legs around Ennis, urging him to thrust in. He complies and slowly pushes into Jack’s tight hole. They both groan in approval, cuddling there for a moment, not moving, just enjoying their shared love for each other. Ennis dips his head into Jack shoulder breathing in his scent, as he slowly starts to move. They hold each other, both softly kissing anything within reach.

Ennis puts his hands under Jacks ass, giving him more leverage and a better angle. They move faster, starting to desperately grind against each other. Ennis starts trying different angles trying to find the others prostate, when he does Jack lets out a high pitch moan.

This sinful sound of wet ploping and groans is all that can be heard within brokeback moutian. Jack cums first, involuntary squeezing around the others cock. Ennis pushes in as far as he can and cums deep within Jack.

They both lay there basking in post orgasm bliss, enjoying each others presence.

——————————————————————————

Authors note: This is my first fic! I would love some constructive criticism to help me get better.

[lenfantsauvagestuff]

this song says "fantasy is not a crime, find your castles in the sky" but when i try people always start to yell at me like my mom she comes into my room without knocking while im doing my stuff and starts screaming that im not productive enough and that i have to stop doing what im doing and do what she tells me to do

i really dont know what im doing wrong, all i ever wanted was to have a normal life, to have a caring family and some good friends but all i have is autism, toxic parents, and everybody at school who thinks im crazy and that refuse to consider me as part of them, and everybody they just hate me, laugh at me, point their fucking finger in my direction like wtf am i doing wrong, all i wanted was to have friends and a normal life

like my mom she sends me to a psychologist because she "wants me to feel ok" but then after all the hard work the psychologist does to make me feel fine she treats me like shit and just behaves like the average toxic person and refuses to even just try to understand how i feel and then shes like "but why do you not have any idea for your future, why dont you know what you want to do once you finish high school?!" like of course i dont know what to do, because when i knew and told her about how i wanted to become a professional musician she would yell things like you better find a decent job and stop wasting time by just daydreaming about shit that will never happen. but i was like 9 or 10. i was just a small girl behaving like a small girl. what was i doing wrong? why did she have to come and ruin everything? now she wonders why i never open up w her. of course i dont, if everytime i talk about something cool i did she starts to talk shit about how that thing is irrelevant for my future and i better go studying.

because of her my life never felt really complete. i never felt like i could have peace when i was in my room doing hobbies. i never felt like i could tell her the entire truth about my passions or about the things i like to do. tell me why is that? i was just a kid doing shit kids do, why did she have to come and take it all away? or course now i have the mentality of a child, because i never had the possibility to express myself fully.

plus at school, i cant be just a normal person. people they all treat me like a crazy weirdo. all i want is just friends. but my classmates they only see me when teachers treat me the special way and start talking shit about how teachers favour me.

yea now because of all this being the special kid, and the weird kid at the same time, and then never growing up out of my childhood i cry every day just because my eyes they feel like it. and i didnt even learn normal shit like how to communicate w people, how to make friends, how to behave like a normal human being because my mom she was always overprotective and didnt teach me. now im scared to ask people for help, or to stay in touch with people.

but mommy why did ou have to do this to me? i was just a child, all i wanted to do was to be a child. but you came and ruined everything. now because of you i am so miserable and hopeless

[shameboree]

hey kels how did you figure out what you'd do for work?

do you mean profession or specialty? ill answer BOTH bc the answer is the same

GOT CANCER. WENT SEPTIC. ALMOST DIED. the single most influential event of my LIFE this is why i am so patient and like positive or whatever bc literally nothing is worse than almost dying. that shit SUCKED. anyway i knew i wanted to do SOMETHING in oncology but it took me years to even begin processing that shit and i worked FOR YEARS after in a meangirls viper pit i refer to exclusively as babyhell (daycare (derogatory)) so it took me a hot minute to really figure myself out.

DISCLAIMER that i am the kinda person who makes life choices QUICK AS SHIT bc i know myself really well and i have a pretty good sense of what i want. idk if u can tell but im a v fast pace kind of person so when i decided to become a nurse it was in like a 5min stretch of Thinking and then i was just like Yeah this is It. my RAPID FIRE thought process in those 5 min was basically is this a field where my personal attributes and experiences can make a positive impact on other ppl?? the answer was YES. i also thought CAN I MAKE MONEY?? the answer here was ALSO yes. TWO BIRDS, A SINGLE STONE.

in baby hell i WAS making positive impacts on kiddos and their families (several families left when i left bc of how much they trusted me blah blah) but like it was NOT rewarding to me. too much stress too little payoff bc i love kids but they arent my PASSION u feel?? ALSO pay was TRASH GARBO. ANYWAY when i thought abt working w cancer patients or people who i could relate to in terms of life/traumatic medical experiences it was something i immediately vibed w bc i knew that common ground could facilitate meaningful therapeutic interactions in an otherwise massively stressful environment.

for me, personally, its a matter of giving back. my oncology nurses fucking ROCKED and made me feel like a person during a time where even well meaning ppl reduced me to a pitiable diagnosis they could use to fuel their tragedy porn. i wanna PAY THAT SHIT FORWARD, so even working medsurg, the most NOTORIOUSLY MISERABLE AND SOUL SUCKING type of nursing there is (memes abt medsurg nurses wishing for death or being dead inside or crying every shift are TOO REAL) i still dont regret becoming a nurse and still find meaning and satisfaction in it even during shifts that make me feel batshit miserable and soul sucked.

choosing a Job or a Career doesnt need to hinge on WORTHINESS or POSITIVE IMPACT or whatever, ig its like what you find fulfilling!! and also not necessarily what youre GOOD at (eg a lot of GOOD AT DRAWS ppl go into art/ani industry and fucking LOATHE it every day. this is why i did not go to art skool). theres that pressure that u gotta figure urself out young as fuck blah blah etc but life can be long!!! you can go turtle pace. there were several 50-60+yos in my nurse school cohort!!

i am trying not to get soapbox pep talky here. anyway i only am an insane fast track nutbag bc i almost died, so basically thats how i make all my life choices.