#-> i'm so used to just spouting nonsense to myself!!

[saltlog]

[makingqueerhistory]

One thing that is relevant to my work in Making Queer History is the fact that I never went to university. To be honest, I used to be really ashamed of that. Because of that shame, I often give alternative narratives around queer history a bit more grace, assuming that the person spouting them has more experience than I do. I have been working in queer history for eight years now, but I'm well aware that I haven't seen even a fraction of what is out there to find.

For a while I forced myself to watch James Somerton videos because he spoke about history in a way I had never heard before. I assumed that meant he knew something I didn't. Eventually, he crossed a line with sexist critiques that were borderline nonsensical, so I stopped watching. But there was still that persistent feeling of unease. Like maybe I just wasn't educated enough to understand him.

To be frank, James Somerton is a cisgender gay man with a degree, so I gave his words more leeway than I should have. That's a character flaw I need to work on. But the bigger picture is that there is an image a lot of people have around expertise. We are lucky that someone of similar standing in that regard spoke out. But let's not pretend that people hadn't already pulled the alarm. In the video that stripped away Somerton's reputation bit by bit (and outside of it), there were many moments of queer women and trans people pointing out problems with his work. I would go so far as to say that it's likely that even more queer women and trans people who felt something wrong but didn't say anything. Like I didn't. Because, at best, you start drama against someone who is well-respected. At worst, you lose your own credibility.

I have had cisgender people explain trans history to me, and I let them. I have had uneducated people tell me that Greece was the pinnacle of queer history, and I let them. I have had James Somerton spout nonsense at me, and I let him. I would hope that through this, I learn to be cognizant of when the image of expertise overwhelms the reality of it.

[ryomens-vixen]

Please make a second part to your Sukuna grieving headcanon because I will physically hang myself and whirl around as a corpse since I cannot take this angst !!!

Your wish, has been granted! ⭐ I'm sorry if it's short

Grieving!Sukuna headcanons pt2.

Plot/Summary: Each year on your d3athdate Ryomen emerges from his temple to wreck havoc upon any and every neighboring town and village in a thousand mile radius or more. Many townspeople think it'd be better to put the King of Curses out of his misery, but the others have a different idea in mind. Resurrecting the one person that can tame this maddening beast...

Content: Fluff, Angst, happy Sukuna, Necromancy, pet names.

Word count: 🤷🏾‍♀️ sis ion know good luck.

Grieving!Sukuna Pt1

Grieving!Sukuna Who grumbled in agony after hearing your sweet voice call out to him. Thinking that it may just be another illusion of his, one that haunted him ever since the death of the love of his life.

Grieving!Sukuna Who slouched in his throne shielding his ears from your voice that called to him again. All he could think in that moment was the tears in your eyes and the way you fell cold in his arms as he held you that day.

Grieving!Sukuna who placed another hand over his own eyes because the mere sight of you pained him beyond belief oh, but when you climbed up the bones below his throne eagerly to greet your Lord, did he finally open his eyes-

Grieving!Sukuna who stared at you in disbelief as you greeted him in that strange way you always did- what was it? Ah, you always fell to your knees at his feet, taking the nearest hand of his to perch your lips upon. Oh did he miss the way your soft lips feverishly kissed the back and palm of his hand.

"Are these damned Eyes of mine deceiving me... Or"

He grabbed her face in between his thumb and pointer like he always did in response to your greetings. He chuckled, "Have I truly gone mad over these years."

Grieving!Sukuna who could almost feel his heart burst out of his chest from just hearing that sweet, sweet melody.. Your voice. But who could blame him for questioning your mere existence? You literally passed away right in his arms- he could still feel how cold your body had became after the hours he had held you.

"My Lord, How I wish this was all the trick of thee eye, but... When I arose from my eternal slumber there was a strange man with a staff over me- H.. He spoke that if I do not come to you, then there would be hell to pay! "

She took his large hand into both of her own and gently, but loving nuzzled the palm of the hand with her cheek. "So far seeing you in such a state is hell enough to me... I never thought I'd see the day where you shed a te-"

Grieving!Sukuna who sprouted an extra mouth in the palm of hand which he used to passionately and desperately kiss you with.

Grieving!Sukuna Who leaked such fluids from his eyes that Dampened his face for years in the sight of you. Yet his hand just wasn't enough he wanted to feel your lips against his own, Ryomen craved it as if he'd die without such a thing.

"Damn you, woman.. How I ached for you, grieved for you, craved you, and you just- *Silence* *Inhale & Exhale* There you are spouting nonsensical nothings of necromancy... Well I'll be damned if I didn't take advantage of it."

Grieving!Sukuna who sweeped you into his arms with the quickness. Holding you by the fat of your thighs, one hand around waist the other on the arch of her lower back. The kiss that he pulled her into was damn near suffocating~

Grieving!Sukuna who would barely let you break away from such a breathtaking kiss. Each time you attempted to pull back Ryomen would growl, grip you tighter as he bit onto your bottom lip to pull you back in.

Grieving!Sukuna who finally after a bit of coaxing pulled away, then hide his face in the nape of her neck so she couldn't see such an embarrassing sight... The king of Curses, crying.

"Y- You must NEVER speak of this to no man or be prepared to-"

"Meet my untimely demise, My Lord? I would Never utter a word!?"

All he could muster was a deep chuckle to try to cover up his obvious sniffling. "Good Girl, So you truly are my sweet concubine, my naive wife, my little pet~"

"My Lord, I was always yours... Even in death"

Sorry this probably sucked so much ass, but thank you for giving me a chance to write something I'm not very good at aka fluff!

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 15: Emily's Last Meal

Masterlist

September 1925

TW: captivity, mind control, covert brainwashing, Emily POV

Emily spent the entire afternoon curled up in a ball on her cot, wishing there were anything she could do to take her mind off of her situation. She'd like to go to sleep, even though the lights were still on, but sleep wasn't coming.

Lily had taken Oliver again, which meant the next time she saw him he'd most likely be glassy eyed and spouting pro-vampire nonsense, robbing her of the only person in the place she could at least hold a conversation with. 

Even though he was a victim as much as she was, she wasn't especially inclined to feel charitable towards him right now. She had hardly slept a wink since she'd been dragged into these cells, and the sleep deprivation had been making her especially irritable, a raw nerve that kept being poked. And last night had been the worst night at all, because Oliver had spent the entire lights-out period chanting hypnotic mantras, loud enough for Emily to hear. There had been a steady drone of "obedience is pleasure" and "no desire to resist" the entire night with only brief respites. Not only was it disruptive, but Emily had actively fought sleep, not wanting to fall asleep with hypnotic chanting softening her mind.

The vampire guards who were so quick to crack down on unwanted noises did nothing about this, of course. Emily suspected that Lily had engineered this to take down both her and Oliver at once, a two-for-one special.

It wasn't Oliver's fault, and she knew that. Her annoyance should be directed towards Lily and their vampire captors, and it mostly was. But she still very much wasn't in the mood to speak to him when Oliver returned, completely unguarded, wearing a simple white kind of frock dress and looking quite serene.

"What are you wearing, Oliver?" 

"Miss Lily gave me these clothes and let me shower," he explained. He was standing in front of her cell and none of the vampires seemed to care.

A lost cause, she thought, and hated herself for thinking so.

"And she told me to tell you that she'll be inducing you very soon."

Emily felt her mouth go dry, a cold pit of fear in her stomach. Of course, she expected this. She'd known what was coming. That didn't make it any easier.

"I know you're scared of it, Emily, but it's really not that bad," said Oliver in a tone that was probably meant to be reassuring. "She didn't take my mind that much at all. I still feel like myself, I just don't have any desire to escape, and I want to obey whatever the vampires tell me to do. That's not that bad, right?"

Oh, Oliver was such a lost cause. And she was next in line.

"Are you listening to yourself? You think that wanting to obey the vampires, the vampires who kidnapped us and are holding us in prison to sell -- you think that's okay?"

Something briefly flashed in Oliver's eyes, a spark of life. "I think it's... I think it's our reality," he said. "And if we have to be here... is it so bad if they make us want to obey? It's easier, and will help us survive. That makes sense, right?"

"I don't really care what makes sense," she said. "I don't want to be a slave. I don't want a vampire erasing my free will. I don't want some monster feeding off of me -- or did they make you forget that they were going to do that, too?"

"I didn't," he said. "You're probably not going to believe me, but Miss Lily showed me a little of what it would be like, and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined. I'm not sure how to explain it without sounding crazy, though."

"It sounds crazy because it is crazy. Because you're totally under their spell now. What about your bookshop? Your former life?"

Oliver's calm facade broke a bit as he looked down at his feet. "...I'm not getting those back, I don't think," he said. "I... um. Perhaps this is an awkward question, but how hypnotized am I, actually? I feel fine, but..."

"I think Lily's gotten so far in your head that you can't even tell how much any more. I'm sorry."

"...I suspected that might be the case."

"Do you want me to try and snap you out of it?"

"No. I have no desire to resist," he said, automatically.

Oh, this poor man.

She should save him. She should try to wake him up again. But she was exhausted, and knew how futile it would be. Even if she could make a dent in Lily's influence, she'd only just take him again. He was no doubt going to keep her up again all night with chanted mantras.

She felt selfish, heartless, but she'd been running her whole life. Running from her family, from her awful, alcohol soaked father, from abusive lovers, from poverty. And now it might actually be the end of the line, and she was so, so tired, and Oliver was so obviously a lost cause.

They both were. She was going to die down here in everything but the technical sense, giving her life for a vampire's pleasure. Few would miss her or even notice she was gone.

"They're bringing dinner now, Emily. I'd better get back in my cell," Oliver said. "And... I'm sorry that I can't help you. I really am."

"I'm sorry, too, Oliver."

Dinner arrived, and it was a heaping plate of roast turkey and gravy with mashed potatoes, peas, and a slice of apple pie, of all things. Imagine apple pie baked and served by vampires! It smelled heavenly and it was the largest meal they'd served yet. She couldn't help but be suspicious. 

She knew that no matter how suspicious she was, she'd cave and eat it in a few minutes at most. She'd been hungry enough in her life that she couldn't bear not to eat hot, fresh food when it was right in front of her face, especially since it hadn't been drugged or poisoned up until now. She hated herself for how eagerly she ate the vampires' prison food, cleaning her plate every time, and that it was the best fed she'd been in ages. 

This was no exception, the kind of meal she dreamed about on nights when she'd had to content herself with half a can of beans or a single mashed potato. At least if this was her last meal as herself, it was a decent one.

The lights snapped off, and she'd barely had enough time to brace herself before Oliver started up the mantras again. "Obedience is pleasure," he said, in a thick, drowsy voice. "No desire to resist. Too tired to resist. Hopeless to resist..."

Emily furrowed her brow. That seemed directly pointed at her. Lily was trying to wear her down, she just knew it. Whatever she did, she couldn't sleep tonight, couldn't let those thoughts be drilled into her brain.

She sat, and stared into the pitch black gloom, and tried to think of anything, anything at all. Old friends. New paints. A pint of cheap beer. Fall leaves. The view from the Oak Street Bridge. 

Too tired to resist...

She was never getting out of here, was she?

She was so sleep deprived, and her stomach was comfortably full, and the cells were always kept warm...

She didn't realize it when her head began to nod, her thoughts swirling into nightmares of a vampire pinning her down and drinking from her neck, draining her energy and life, all the while Oliver's voice droned on about obedience.

And she didn't, at first, realize it when Oliver's droning voice mixed with Lily's.

"Obedience is pleasure. You're too tired to resist, Emily, much too tired," said a calm and soothing voice close by.

Emily stirred. She wasn't in her bed. She was being... held? Carried. 

"Shhh, Emily, relax. Go back to sleep. You're so tired," said Lily. "And you're already under my spell. There's nothing to fight. Go back to sleep."

A nightmare? It had to be. "I'm not..." she protested, trying to wake up. Why was it so hard? She cracked her eyelids open. Lily was looking down at her while carrying her in her arms.

"Of course you are, dear. Even the most defiant human must sleep, and even the most defiant human mind is vulnerable while sleeping," she said, as though explaining to a child. "Sleep now, go back to sleep. You're too tired to resist."

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening now. She felt herself slipping back into slumber against her will, clawing her consciousness back from the brink.

"You're not going to have me," she said, fighting the haze that threatened to swallow her.

"Oh, pet, I've subdued a hundred girls like you and I'll subdue a hundred more after," she said. "Now hush, and go back to sleep."

Part Fourteen >> Masterlist >> Part Sixteen

Thank you for reading this story about Emily.

Tag list - please note if you'd like to be added

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps

[thebestieyoureinlovewith]

n o t h i n g-a creative piece by me

Sometimes it feels like there's

n o t h i n g

And sometimes I care

Sometimes I don't

I'm such a liar. Spouting poetry when I break down like it's going to do anything. Telling my parents things that will never be true. And my friends. It's like everything is scripted. Nothing I do is real. And is that how everyone feels? Or am I only hearing the echo of my own desperate shouts. I use the word desperate a lot in things I write. And echo. I think that I think I use it more than I do, because whenever I write down the word I feel strange. In a good way. It gives me a purpose sort of? Like...desperate. This is such nonsense I don't even know what I'm writing. Just so we're clear, I never know what I'm writing. When it comes, it just does, all at once. Except when it's

n o t h i n g. But I can live with nothing. Apparently people go insane when they have nothing to do but stare at white walls. I've never been all that into physical activity, and doesn't everyone think they're special, so probably maybe I'd be fine?? I like to think about what I'd do. I'd sing. Talk to myself about my characters. About my secrets. Things I feel that no one will ever know about. I wish someone did know. Maybe they'd say I was crazy?? Would that make it better? It might actually. Like...it's not as big as I'm making it out to be. Everything. Because sometimes there's just n o t h i n g and I can live with it but I'm not sure about it all the time. It gets to a point where you get hurt a lot then you get used to it. Except I haven't yet which sucks. Should I use the word sucks?? Who cares? I maybe put too much effort into the words I put down. Maybe I'll delete this before I even post it. What was even the point of this post in the first place. I'm okay, by the way, nothing to worry about, I'm just thinking. About something. The problem is...I can never think about

n o t h i n g.

[shiny-jr]

ooh wait have you played three houses?? i saw you mentioned it in one of your recent posts and i got curious. can i ask what are your thoughts on it if you have played it?

also also, have you played pokemon scarlet/violet at all? i’d really love to hear your thoughts on it, especially with its latest dlc ^^ (super sorry i’m grouping two different games in this ask, i didn’t wanna send messages back to back, but feel free to only answer one if you want!)

Oh boy, more opportunities for me the spout nonsense and my odd opinions. I will gladly take it. Buckle up, anon and others reading, because I have a long history with both franchises.

I've been playing Fire Emblem since Fire Emblem: Awakening, then Fates, Heroes, and eventually Three Houses. My take: Awakening is still the best one, but maybe I'm biased. I remember playing it and marrying Chrom on accident, whoops.

Anyways, Three Houses was alright, better than Fates but not better than Awakening. I remember it came out, and I was actually upset because I was in another country on the US release date so I didn't get to play it until I got back. Even when I saw the trailers, I knew I was Golden Deers all the way. Odd, I know, most people prefer the other teams. Claude, Hilda, Marianne, Lysithea, my dears. OH, and before I go on, I just want to say, I hate the female MC. And no, it's not what you think, I only hate her because literally why does her outfit look like that compared to the male MC? Robin from Awakening was always the better protagonist anyways.

After completing the Golden Deers route, I decided I wanted to try and complete all the routes because at that point I disliked a huge majority of the characters. I tried Blue Lions next. At first I didn't really have much of an opinion on Dimitri, but he grew on me eventually, because how could I resist such a miserable brooding man that later gets a soft spot for one person (plus his design was kinda badass)? But I will admit, his behavior immediately post-timeskip was kinda annoying. I thought I would dislike Felix, but shockingly, I didn't, I actually liked him. And you know what? Dedue is CRIMINALLY underrated, he's literally probably the nicest and loyalest dude of all time. He got some hate for his race from some characters, and I actually got heated.

After Blue Lions, I knew I had to play through Black Eagles twice if I wanted the last two routes. However, here's the thing. In both previous routes, Golden Deer and Blue Lions, I had loathed Edelgard. But, I thought to myself, I just needed to try her route and maybe I'll change my mind... Well, I was wrong. Edelgard is probably one of the characters I HATE most in any franchise. And I tried so hard to like her, like I would give her gifts and answer dialogue truthfully, only for the relationship thing to go down. Like damn, okay. I just couldn't stand her. The others in her route were mostly fine, I liked Ferdinand, Bernadetta, Caspar, and Petra. But because of Edelgard, I couldn't even finish her route once and it's still uncompleted to this day.

Now... onto Pokemon.

Fun fact, I completed Pokemon Black and White when I was in first grade and couldn't read everything. Don't ask me how I did it, because I honestly have no clue. I've played every gen since then: Black and White 2, X and Y, Sun and Moon, Ultra Sun and Moon, Sword and Shield, Arceus, Scarlet and Violet. I did indeed preorder the game when it was announced, as I have done for the generations before. Where do you think my username comes from? In most pokemon games, I love collecting shiny pokemon. Shiny.

I was hyped for Scarlet and Violet since the first day it was announced. I lost my mind the day it was first announced and eagerly waited months for it. When it came out, I dropped everything for several days. As a regular fan, I always set this tradition for myself to defeat new pokemon games within or around 24 hours and of course, I did so.

The game itself has a lot of issues, namely the glitches and quality of the frames. But, it's on the switch, so that's to be expected. It felt really rushed in that aspect. I just feel like they could do so much better if they really wanted to, like on par with BOTW or TOTK (those games have bad frames too but at least they look a lot better). As for mechanics, I really missed the mechanics from Arceus, but at least Scarlet and Violet improved upon the poor excuse of the open area that was in Sword and Shield.

Story and characterwise, I'm torn.

Here's what I like: (1) the multiple split routes, (2) certain characters.

(1) It made it feel like you really had a lot to do, and that combined with the open area of the entire map made it seem like a lot. It is a lot. So it's really fun to explore and try to complete everything. Even just walking about, you're bound to get distracted, lost, or find something completely new. I was just playing it a while ago after completing everything and there were still little secrets I didn't notice the first time around.

(2) Arven, my god, do I love a guy with mommy AND daddy issues. And he has a dog? I'm hooked. I didn't expect to get attached to him, but I did. I actually prefer his route purely because of the story within it with his companion. I didn't see that coming, and I was so worked up over it. Another character I like, Director Clavell. A good supporting professor, you love to see it. Wish he showed up more though.

Here's what I dislike: (1) the villains, (2) the gym leaders, and (3) other characters, (4) the leveling system. (5) I'll talk about the dlc last.

(1) We haven't had a good villain team in a while. Black and White was super memorable with N, X and Y's Lysandre with Team Flare was a joke, Sun and Moon's Team Skull with Guzma was actually good because they were funny and non-threatening, Sword and Shield with Team Yell was actual trash, and this Team Star being bad guys but not really bad guys was actually so boring. Let's roll it back to Team Aqua literally planning to recreate a great flood or Team Magma planning to create havoc with volcanoes, Team Plasma that wanted to liberate Pokemon, or Team Galactic that were going to harness the power of time/space/universe and their leader is trapped/died in an empty dimension. They don't make Pokemon villains like they used to, huh?

(2) The gym leaders are very forgettable this time around. Like, they don't play much of a role aside battling, and after that you don't really see them again at all. It's a shame, because some of them have potential for greater use and have really good designs. Not to mention, they were all weak as hell.

(3) The Champion was a let down. Geeta (I had to look up her name). I was iffy when I first saw images of her, I didn't like her design but I just decided to go with the flow and I'll probably change my mind. I didn't. She's as forgettable of a champion as Alder and Diantha were. At least we saw Leon in the SwSh a lot and we got to hear from characters about how strong he was. Geeta wasn't like that at all, her team was a joke. Nemona as a rival was annoying, she got on my nerves from the first few moments we met her. I think Penny had potential, but I just didn't like her.

(4) The leveling system was really annoying. What happened was, I tried to complete the other two routes first and save the gym leaders for last. However, when I did this, because I didn't have any gym badges, new pokemon caught wouldn't listen even if my other pokemon were like 20 or more levels above them. So I had to pause the other route, just to do some of the gyms that way I could actually use new pokemon. I know they tried the system to prevent people from just cheating the system by automatically getting high-leveled pokemon from friends, but it just got in the way.

(5) DLC so far... not a fan. I mean, it's something. It's there. It's a thing. But it has nothing so far that makes me like it. The rivals are meh, and the region confuses the hell out of me. I don't get why do Scarlet and Violet region of Paldea based off Spain, but then have a DLC with an island that's so very obviously based off Japan. They could've picked anything around Spain but go back to Japan when 4/9 of the regions are already supposedly based off Japan? Idk, it was kind of a let down to be honest. I haven't completed the dlc, so I still have to do that. The new map is small, but I heard the next dlc is supposed to be huge so here's to hoping that one is better?

[yourfavepookiebear]

I just realized something. I'm not good at anything.

I'm not good at learning. I'm not good at teaching. I'm not good at concentrating. I'm not good at listening. I'm not good at working. I'm not good at pe. I'm not good at horseriding. I'm not good at rock climbing. I'm not good at hiking. I'm not good at running. Im not good at basketball. I'm not good at volleyball. I'm not good at football. I'm not good at roller skating. I'm not good at ice skating. I'm not good at maths. I'm not good at physics. I'm not good at chemistry. I'm not good at computer. I'm not good at biology. I'm not good at technology. I'm not good at researching. I'm not good at writing. I'm not good at cooking. I'm not good at speaking. I'm not good at remembering. I'm not good at comforting. I'm not good at being kind. I'm not good at being myself. I'm not good at being pretty. I'm not good at being funny. I'm not good at acting. I'm not good at singing. I'm not good at voice-acting. I'm not good at French. I'm not good at Spanish. I'm not good at Arabic. I'm not good at German. I'm not good at Persian. I'm not good at advising. I'm not good at analyzing. I'm not good at statistics. I'm not good at negotiating. I'm not good at convincing. I'm not good at eating. I'm not good at observing. I'm not good at creating. I'm not good at being creative. I'm not good at helping. I'm not good at respecting. I'm not good at dancing. I'm not good at..

I'm not good at anything. There's maybe two or three things I'm relatively good at : daydreaming, cleaning, and thinking. Heck maybe even at spouting bullshit and random nonsense in the middle of class.

Mom was right, I'm actually not good at anything. I always hated her for saying that but ig she was right. How will i even find a way to support myself when i grow up ? At this rate, even working as a Walmart cashier is too hard for me.

How will I find a job ?

Mom says I have to be a doctor but I doubt I'd even get accepted into a university, much less a med school.

Lawyer ? Impossible, I wouldn't get accepted and I'm bad at arguing, plus I'm mostly a pacifist.

Writer ? I have bad imagination and on top of that I'm lazy and bad at writing.

Singer ? I'm bad at singing and I don't have the looks.

Actress ? Im bad at acting.

Voice-actress ? Nope

Office worker ? I can only concentrate for 30 minutes maximum

Therapist ? I'm the one who needs therapy.

Police officer ? Nope, not a chance. Not only do I hate that, but I'm also pretty weak so it's not even an option.

Philosopher ? I'm good at overthinking but Philosophy courses need a lot of complicated math.

Mathematician ? I'm horrible at math.

Translator ? Maybe, if it was my last choice.

Soldier ? I used to want to be one, but I'm weak both physically and mentally and emotionally and psychologically.

Dancer ? Low stamina, I get tired easily and I'm bad at dancing.

Scientist ? It's super interesting to me but science is not my forté.

Carpenter ? Nope just no.

Maid ? Maybe, but the pay is horrible..

Waitress ? My voice cracks, I'm clumsy, and I struggle to keep my balance.

Rock climber ? Nope. My hands and feet are always super sweaty and cold asf. I really sweat a LOT, even if the weather is cold.

Hostess ? Idk man, doesn't sound too good

Flight attendant ? I really like that job and I think I would be good at it but then again I'm scared of heights and I'm not strong so I wouldn't be able to help a passenger eith their luggage.

Pilot ? Scared of heights.

Chef ? Cooking is just not my thing, I'm bad at it and I often get impatient while cooking, and I get my hands dirty easily.

Model ? I'm not tall enough. Plus i doubt I'm skinny enough bc to become a model you have to be as thin as a stick and as tall as a tree.

Assassin ? Nope, nope, just nope

Hitman ? // (^)

Spy ? I would probably trip on something or laugh and expose myself.

Bus driver ? I can't even ride a scooter/bicycle, what makes this an option..

Uber driver ? No, I'd rather avoid anything consisting of driving a vehicle, whether it's a car or a motorcycle..

Fuck hopefully if I get really really super duper lucky maybe I'll find a rich guy i could marry.

[don-dake]

SPYLD | 用自己語言之日 (五月七號)

Speak Your Language Day #SPYLD (May 7)

English translation available in the ALT text and under a cut ↓

《河國榮最驚…》

🇭🇰🇲🇴 「我係驚…廣東話係會絕種。如果香港嘅小學或者幼稚園就開始…實行，全部啲課都係用國語去教嘅話呢…噉 (廣東話) 都係三代不保。我好驚因為我好鍾意廣東話。」

同感

身為一個有廣東背景嘅華裔，住緊嘅國家又目前只重視普通話為正式中文，我都有同感。我都好驚喺冇幾耐嘅將來入面，如果 (要強調係如果) 有廣東背景嘅人唔睇緊啲，廣東話絕種嘅可能性真係可以盡速變成事實㗎！

我就唔清楚河生係點造成佢嘅諗法，至於我自己，因為經過我個人喺本國經歷過嘅經驗嚟睇，親自感受到本地政府點用非純屬封殺嘅封殺方法嚟打沉學非普通話，其他華式語言嘅念頭，所以我呢個諗法，唔係完全冇根據先得到嘅。

可能有啲人喺呢個階段會嚟個膝腱反射反應，即刻想反駁話，「講廣東話嘅人全世界目前仲有超過八千萬咁多！廣東話到而家仍然生氣勃勃嘛！��有瀕危呀？唔好亂噏啦！」 …

係冇錯，而家就話仲生氣勃勃啫，但係我覺得好多人反駁呢點嘅時候，總會忽略咗考慮到歲月流逝嘅問題。考慮到嘅唔應該只係而家，而係將來。(除非話聽日就世界末日將近嚟緊嘞，噉就咩都唔使擔心囉！哈哈哈…)

所以請想象呢個場景：如果原本用緊大量廣東話嘅地區不知不覺，漸漸改變常時用普通話嚟溝通嘅話，噉久而久之，諗下廣東話嘅將來會似乜樣呢？

又唔使等 「久而久之」 嘞，憑而家嚟睇，而家越嚟越多有廣東背景，後生三、四代嘅人 (包括自己) 都識普通話嘞。問題唔係識普通話唔好，又唔係話普通話基本唔好，而係而家呢啲人當中，好多講普通話比講佢哋本應該熟悉多啲嘅廣東話仲覺得自然。佢哋甚至認為廣東話係唔值得學㗎嘞。

呢種情況喺其他地區係咪真係越嚟越普遍我就唔清楚，就唔敢多講嘞，但係我可以話本地年輕人對於講同學所謂嘅方言 (即係廣東話、潮州話、海南話、等等，唔係普通話就係) 多數真係好差。

所以河國榮為香港所擔憂嘅 「廣東話三代不保」 真係唔係誇大，想散佈恐懼先講嘅。我國就係個最好嘅例子，「方言三代不保」，真係差唔多變咗事實嘞！

(以上截圖係由一部大概2015年視頻而嚟。視頻內提過河國榮當時50歲。)

same sentiments

As an overseas born Chinese with Cantonese background, living in a country that currently still only recognises Mandarin as the official Chinese language, I also share the same sentiments. I too am very afraid in the near future, if (and emphasis on the if) people with Cantonese background don't watch it, the possibility that Cantonese may go extinct can become a reality real soon!

I'm not sure how Mr Rivers came about his thoughts and conclusions, but as for me, having witnessed and experienced personally my own government's way of banning, but not quite banning outright, the insidious ways of discouraging people from learning and using a Chinese language that is not Mandarin, my worry (for the future of Cantonese) is not totally unfounded.

At this point, some people are probably going to have a knee-jerk reaction and are quick to retort that “there are currently more than 80 million people in the world that still speak Cantonese! Cantonese is still thriving! What nonsense are you spouting‽” …

Yes that's right, it's still currently thriving. But I think lots of people who retort this point often fail to remember to consider too the flow of time. It's not just the here and now they should be thinking about, but rather the future. (Unless we're saying the world's end is fast approaching tomorrow, then we won't have to worry about anything anymore! Hahaha…)

So please envision this scenario: If the places that were originally strongholds for Cantonese are gradually and insidiously using Mandarin more and more, in time, what do you think the future for Cantonese will be like then?

And we don't actually need to see “in time”, looking at things currently, there are increasingly more 3rd, 4th generation and later, people of Cantonese background (that includes myself) who can speak Mandarin. The problem is not knowing how to speak Mandarin, nor is it Mandarin itself but rather, what should have been the more familiar and comfortable Cantonese to them, is now being superseded by Mandarin. Some of these people even think Cantonese is no longer worth learning.

Not sure about other areas, so I can't really say if this is getting to be a real common situation elsewhere, but I can definitely say that within my own country, the majority of younger people's relationship with speaking and learning the so-called dialects (i.e. Cantonese, Teochew, Hainanese, etc., i.e. any other Chinese that is not Mandarin) is definitely very shaky.

So Rivers's worry for Hong Kong, that “Cantonese will be lost within 3 generations” is not exactly an exaggeration nor a kind of fearmongering. My country's the perfect example of this happening, “dialects being lost within 3 generations” is almost a reality here now!

(Above screenshots were taken from a video clip that's roughly from 2015. Video mentioned that Rivers was 50 years of age at that time.)

[prisonguards]

FR!!! Like oh my GOD I didnt even ship smallidarity before likeeeee I was just your average flower husbands fan, and I wanted to stick hard to the whole boundary compliance thing because I was part of dsmp twt for a year and. Well. That should say enough, iykyk. But then Joel just kept obsessing over Jimmy, Jimmy kept simping for Joel, and then the entire thing with the "he's just sooo cuuuute" and "can we just compare the size difference again, its my favorite thing ever" and whatever the fuck fixating on the noise Jimmy made was and it was like. Well. Bro. BRO. THEEEEN the having a CHILD together thing happened and I just fell into shipping them immediately from E2 alone. And now I'm watching E1 and I'm gonna rewatch 100h hardcore because your blog has just made it Worse.

This has been an entire tangent but the tldr is I didn't ship smallidarity until Joel was absolutely unbearable and obvious over just how much the cuteness aggression he gets over Jimmy Gets To Him.

Also I see your tags and I bring you this: in watching E1, am I insane or is the whole "Katherine was his first ally but I am his BEST ally, I will call her a coward and get genuinely angry at her for not going to the lengths I will to protect Jimmy" give off possessiveness. Not possessiveness as in jealousy, ownership, or anything like that but more in the sense that he takes great pride in being the one who takes care of Jimmy best, so to speak and to be the one who protects him when he needs it. This isn't really related at all to what you said but I'm doing my best and it's 6 AM as I write this, I have not slept and I should cut myself off before I spout even more nonsense.

- life series anon

ANON I LUV YOU AUSGEUE. I hope you get some good sleep friend aaueghd

I think that happened to a lot of people :3 smallidarity like was ramping up all season thanks to enemies to lovers being such a popular trope/dynamic but its Exploded in popularity lately and Im so thankful for that!!! whether it be from Joels fawning or their. insanity inducing innuendoes. the more fans the merrier ^—^

IM SO GLAD MY MADNESS HAS GOTTEN U TO WANNA REWATCH 100 HOURS :3c !!! its a comfort series for me for sure. and the episodes with Jimmy in them are. absolutely the best. ep 4 is one of my favorite episodes of anything ever. and if you want more Joel fawning over Jimmys cuteness…

YESSSSSS YES.. I ADORE THEM IN EMP S1!!! their dynamic is so unique there because of how wholly and overwhelmingly soft/positive it is. theyre allies from the start and BEST allies… auuughh.. yesshh Joel gets sooo defensive over Jimmy in s1 its beautiful. how quick he is to go absolutely murder mode for Jimmy. but how quick he is to be soft for him too. SIGGHHHHH. its my dream fr. the possessiveness.. YES.. theyre just SO important to eachother and it drives me crazy. he treats Jimmy so special. the way that he has little rooms for just Jimmy and Lizzie in his palace… the special roles they both hold… his wife and his best friend… there is def such a special connection there. and the possessiveness, Jimmy has so many more allies and close allies than Joel does. Joel just enforcing and affirming his station and specialness to Jimmy every once and a while.. by insulting his other allies augshs.. augh.. I just love them

also, for anyone else mulling over boundaries still; if you want specifics he just said he finds it “a bit weird” and iirc he didnt really say you cant do it. he just doesnt get it cause hes such a wifeguy. if youre concerned you can still tag it properly/keep it out of main tags. but if he was Really upset by it he would Not be encouraging and escalating it, and making the jokes he does, and putting them in his videos, and liking comments people make about them, and the tweets he makes, and and and and… if people are harassing u on behalf of him, they dont really care about what hes comfortable with, they just wanna punch down at someone. I get wanting to be respectful, but Ive also seen it used for such cruelty 💔 so I think the most important thing to keeping everyone, including the creators themselves, happy is to keep things to the right tags and spaces and being kind to yourself and others and blocking what you need and keeping out of peoples business.

[pup-in-transit]

It's month 9 of The Wait ™️ and everything is fine and I am being cool and normal about being a month away from a life changing reconstructive surgery.*

*Very obviously a lie.

So, everything that I have to buy is bought at this point. I even have a couple things I might not even need. The cane is probably gonna end up being a wash, for example. GRS Montréal uses a regional anesthestic and some knock-out meds rather than a general anesthestic for the surgery, specifically because it helps to regain mobility faster. Worst case I'll put on Craigslist or something for free, that way someone who actually needs it can just have it.

I know about the anesthesia thing because of the surgical consultation i had earlier this month. I wrote about that earlier but it went really well! I feel a lot more informed about the surgery than i did previously, and i'm pretty confident about my ability to take care of myself afterward. I mainly just wish I could have that confidence with undergoing the surgery itself! I ebb and flow a lot more with how i feel about my genitals. It's never more positive than feeling adequate about them, but that seems to be enough to have me second guess myself. Sure, now that i'm sitting on my train I can feel my buldge and it's incredibly distracting, but sometimes i can lay down and not mind it too much! Call my secretary, surgery's canceled!

Ugh.

If I go through with this and regret my choice I want it laid out for the record that I was not sped through the system. I did everything properly, my doctors did everything properly, and my therapists did everything properly. There were enough checks and balances to properly inform me about what i was going to do and make sure it was right for me. Heck i had to do a readiness assessment for TRT and my only goal for testosterone post-op is not getting osteoporosis. If I start spouting nonsense about gender affirming care, please smack me and show me this blog post.

I see a lot of people who regret their surgeries go off about grooming or trans folks manipulating people, and i want to say flatly how gross that is. For me to engage in that kind of behavior would be a fundamental betrayal of a community that has shown me nothing but support and kindness, and which went out of it's way not to romanticize or sugar coat the realities of this procedure. It'd be a particularly nasty betrayal to my husband too, who is not only transgender himself but has been a complete angel throughout this journey of mine. I can't guarantee i won't regret this, but i do guarantee that i won't do harm to the community that held me up when i was struggling. To do otherwise is morally repulsive.

Anyway. Last thing on the checklist is the medical EI application. The federal government doesn't let you file it early so i gotta wait until my last day of work. It is what it is 🤷 I'll be working on getting the paperwork together next week and all throughout February before the big day.

32 days to go....

[papirouge]

It’s kinda hard to separate the Israel Palestine conflict from religion at this point as an exmuslim. Every muslim man I knew is violently pro Palestine and would allow you to protest for them until they’re in power then they want sharia law

Asking for a ceasefire and stop killing civilians ≠ defending islam though. If you know my blog you'd know I'm myself very critical of Islam (which condone pedophilia, female oppression, racism/Arab supremacism and violence) but calling the war crimes of Israel has nothing to do with defending islam. Especially when Christians are also victims of this war. Ask yourself why Christian Palestinians go as far as ally with Muslims in their opposition to Israel oppression (something that Israel is extremely uncomfortable with btw).

I refuse to take seriously anyone fearmongering Christians around how Islam is a threat to Christianism when Judaism is as much anti Christian if not worse (the Quran has yet to say the same awful thing about Jesus and Mary as the Talmud does). The only thing stopping religious Jews from representing a threat to Christians is their low number. The last time Jews had the demographic superiority that gave them the opportunity to oppress Christians they took it : they conspirated & lobbied to the roman government to kill Jesus. Jews killed Jesus, not Muslims. History doesn't lie. That's why I I can't help but roll my eyes BIG TIMES whenever the Israeli government tries to paint itself as this Christian ally uwu like- guys, start to repent for what you did to the Messiah and then maaaaybe we'll take seriously your lame attempts at catering to us. For now, you are still as much enemies in Christ (for rejecting as the Messiah) as Muslims or heathens.

I also find funny how this "association by the cause you fight for" only seems to work one way. Zionists have been spouting the vilest racist, anti Black (look up their treatment of falasha and Ethiopian jews they consider so racially inferior they refuse to see them breeding especially with "racially pure" Jews), Jewish racial supremacism nonsense, and yet I hardly see people like you associate every pro Israel as a racist just because they happen to side with them 🤔

"Arabs/Palestinians are anti Black!!" .... so are Zionists/religious Jews lmao Israel is literally an ETHNOSTATE!! What's your point?? I'm a Black person, every country has a derogatory word against us, of course we know the world hates us - still not a reason to turn a blind eye to them behind genocided¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ maybe that's a groundbreaking statement but noone deserves to be killed for being a piece of trash . I'm Christian, the staple of our religion is that everyone can be redeemed.

I oppose this war like I oppose every other war on this planet. It really ain't that complicated. The reason we go off like this is because the gaslighting and victim blaming of Israel is just insufferable. The "they started it first on October 7!!" narrative is dishonest (the occupation/blocus of Gaza started waaay before October 7 and Palestianian resistance didn't come out of a vacuum) and does not justify bombing CIVILIANS. Ukraine has been attacked first too and still didn't use it as a pass to bomb Russian cities with plentiful of civilians just because Russia started first 🤪 because this is a war crime. IDK why it's so hard to understand. Like many people said, Israel is the only country who can attack and bomb 3 countries in the same times while claiming victomhood....sorry but this shit is insufferable lmao Maybe they would be less annoying if they assumed their villainess like the USA or Russia lol

[danpuff-ao3]

violent ask game... 8, 10 and 12 pls? :)

Also... don't be scared, fandom is not half as violent as people imply... most of the time :)

Hello there! Thanks for these! 😄

8.) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Hmmm! My mind sort of immediately jumps to anti-shipping 😂 That's the biggest thing I would say is common to see that I would also call wrong. The only thing people's reading/writing preferences tell you is that they enjoy reading or writing that thing. That's it. No one's a bad person for reading/writing content that makes you uncomfortable.

10.) worst part of fanon

Gosh. Partly I think confusing fanon for canon but, specifically, when people are wrong and want to argue about it. Now I will admit I'm a big lover of "Snape as Draco's godfather." I know some people don't like it, and I understand why they don't, but I will eat it up like candy! However: I know it's not canon. Also: I'm not gonna fight anyone about it. AND: on the off chance I did spout nonsense and found out I was wrong, I wouldn't double down. I'd go fact check myself and be like "oops my bad, you right." It's bad enough when people wanna get up in arms over fandom of all things, but it's worse when you're doing it when you're WRONG.

12.) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

SNAPE. SNAPE. SEV-ER-US SNAPE.

This feels weird because I'm obviously in the Snapedom and am surrounded by much Snape love, but...I feel like he's a character people either love or hate with very little in between.

I stumble upon Snaters in the wild and get my feelings hurt because Severus Snape was my first love. (I read the books when I was like 7 and it was love at first sight, okay?) (And I turn 31 on Monday, if that tells you anything.)

Reddit post: "List of Reasons Snape is the WORST" me: yeah I know, don't you see why I love him??

For me it's sort of twofold. The best reason I can probably sell people with is that he's a complex character. The complexity gets lost a bit when people are so hellbent on painting the portrait of a "tragic hero" or a "terrible villain." Our man has layers, okay? Like an onion.

Is he nasty and rude and cruel? Yep. Is he also intelligent and passionate and devoted? Also yep. Did he do some really fucked up shit? Yep. Did he also do some really good deeds? Also yep. This man runs the dang spectrum! Join some blood supremacists? Yikes. Die in the war effort to save the world? Okay that part I don't want to talk about, I'm still not over it.

He had horrible, terrible things happen to him. He grew up in poverty. He was in a neglectful, if not abusive environment. He was bullied in school, and sexually assaulted. But he wasn't a "good" victim, see. He wasn't a sweet lil fella. He wasn't fragile; he was sharp. And he wasn't exactly likable; which made all attacks on him seemingly "excusable." So yeah, we can see why he went down a dark path. It's not okay by any means, but surely one can understand it.

And when it came down to it, he changed his mind. A lot of people nowadays can't do that. It's hard to change your ways, and say "hey I was wrong, I'm turning away from this now." But he did. And he put himself in danger to spy on Voldemort. And yeah, this very traumatized dude went on to traumatize other people. Hurt people hurt people, as they say. But he tried. He gave so much of his time and his life to righting his wrongs.

His life was spent in suffering. All the abuse he endured. The disdain. Then his own self-hatred when he realized where he went wrong. And those wounds never healed. He was forever haunted by his pain, and by his mistakes.

Which sort of leads me to my second point: he's not perfect. He's not an easy person to love. But he's so terribly human. He's just a man who was put through the crucible time and again. He wasn't perfect. He never became this handsome, flawless gentleman. There is so much to him! There is enough to judge and hate, sure, but there's also plenty to love. And this is such a strong case of....people aren't all good or bad. His good and his bad are both so clear! And I can't get enough of it, I stg. I love this man. Truly just adore him.

[smokbeast]

Small anxiety rant to myself.

Sometimes(all the time) I hate how much I complain and whine or explain things. I try to stop but I get so furious and pent up over a situation or at myself end up spouting nonsense and I regret it immediately after, especially when I'm shit at tones and writing in English properly how I feel sometimes cause it's harder to type shit than speak it and then I see that I might have said something offensive or out of context without it making sense cause my voice isn't heard to really show how I mean tone wise. And no I don't use tone indicators I don't understand them either they confuse me more :(

I feel like really dum or like an idiot or annoying sometimes. I know my friends say I'm not and I love them for tolerating my endless rant and nonsense but god my brain ugngngng.. even when I'm just, talking a normal conversation and endless dread of regret fills my throat like I'm wasting someone's important time or I'm talking too much or I'm being too much or gngn idk I just feel guilty talking all the time and Existing skfkd, I'm cheery all the time and make fun of myself to try to make it ok but I still worry.

I wish I was less cringe in front of people lmao I'm sorry to anyone for the amount of things I say or do i will do my best to be better hhh

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie and it looks like we're going to be in for another round of reduce, reuse, and recycle next episode 🙄🙄🙄. The stupidity of this is truly astounding, so since we only have 2 days before this shitshow hits the screen I have chosen to fight stupid with ridiculous and wish to share my optimal scenario for getting rid of guest stars and dumb plots.

First Buck is on a dinner date with Natalia, who pumping him for details about his "death", when Kameron and Connor come over. They have no sense of boundaries so they say they have news about the baby Buck donated sperm for. At first Buck is worried Natalia's going to freak out but she gets weirdly interested and asks when he did that. He explains it was before his death and Natalia starts staring creepily at Kameron's stomach and spouts some nonsense about Buck's death was in exchange for creating life and repeated refers to the "death baby". Kameron backs away and stutters out that they just wanted to tell Buck they ran some tests and Connor is the dad after all. Natalia is instantly dismissive and goes back to eating while Buck politely excuses himself and runs from the restaurant.

Cut to Eddie on the beach in heavy pining mode monologuing to himself extensively about how he wanted a sign and Buck on a date with Natalia who "sees him" clearly is a sign its not meant to be. He spots Marisol and starts reluctantly making his way to her when Buck, still fleeing his date, slams into him and knocks him over. He starts going off about how nuts Natalia is but stops when he noticed Eddie glaring at the heavens mutter "goddamnit..".

After the big finale emergency Eddie and Buck are stuck on an uncollapsed portion of the bridge with no way down to the ground. Buck starts to say this whole ordeal has made him realize and appreciate the people in his life more while giving Eddie A Look. Before he can finish though a helicopter comes in with L dangling from a harness and she says some crap like "need a ride" while winking at Buck. Eddie casually shoves her away causing her to spin comically in a circle and then asks Buck "You were saying?".

Hope you enjoyed this as a break from thinking about what is to come and some of the takes floating around out there. Also since you're the actual writer here I'd love to hear of you have an ideal scenario, we might as well have fun with this mess until forced to do otherwise.

Sorry this is so late at night my friend! It was my niece's birthday and I was out of town with every intention of being home by 8 or 9 tonight to answer this before an early bedtime so naturally it was after 11 before I actually got home 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah, none of the news coming out about Buck or Eddie's storylines interest me because it's all just a rinse and repeat of season 4 at this point and I'm so so very tired.

I enjoyed your version of events! There's a reason "gotta laugh to keep from screaming" is a tag I use often! 🤣 This gave me quite the giggle reading over it the other night! I wouldn't call myself *much* of a writer though if I was less brain dead I'm sure I could come up with something (6 year-olds man. They will wear you OUT!)

But ideally I would love to see sassy, petty, bitchy Eddie come out about Buck not being able to make it work to meet up with Natalia because those scenes always give me joy, and I would LOVE for literally anything to come out about the donor baby not being Buck's like I need this storyline to end in such a way that we can all just forget it happened and never have to deal with it again. I would also love if L appearance gets cut down to absolutely nothing. Like, a nod across the accident scene where SHE is the blurry background figure for once and then she also disappears never to be heard from or about ever again.

I didn't watch the sneak peeks but I saw some stills and memes about the Madney ones so at least I'm looking forward to that stuff and the calls look like they *could* be interesting but also like they could just be used to push more of Buck's stupid plot with Natalia so we'll see I guess. I'm disappointed with the news that as of yet, KR is still supposed to be moving with the show but they've got time to hammer out the details. I'm sure it will be like RNM did where it's "oh I left for such and such other, better, opportunity" which is fine I don't even care how they spin it as long as she leaves but if she's still around for s7....eh. I'm too tired to try and cross that bridge just yet.

Good luck to us tomorrow, and next week and then maybe I can breathe and work on my fic and actually get somewhere on it!

[just-aro]

Hello! Sorry to bother your day

but I'm starting to question myself if I am aromantic.

I know you saw so many of these so I apologize for that. And this will be a long one

It all started with my male classmate in 7th grade. We have been talking since the start of the pandemic and I really really like him and I thought I have a crush on him. But until that night changes everything... He confessed to me and my stomach dropped. (Literally, my stomach dropped and I need to poop). I was panicking and feeling uncomfortable in the inside so I rejected him and then we didn't talk for months (this happened on March 01, 2020). And then we started talking a year later and then I realized I don't have romantic attraction for him but I keep denying it so I forced myself to like him but when I did it, I feel I wanted to vomit. And there are times that he asked me to be his girlfriend (even though I rejected him) 3 times now and every time he tells me that I get disgusted and uncomfortable. So now we're still talking to each other but rarely.

Then the next one is a guy friend from elementary who I thought I have a crush on(again). When I was a kid, I really don't care if my crush doesn't like me or rejects me or he has a relationship with someone I just don't get it as a kid like why do people get hurt by that? Until this day I still don't get it. During my first year of high school, I found out that my friends have made so many crushes throughout their lives and I only made one(but that one just ended a month later). So yeah I'm questioning.

Thank you for reading this and sorry for this long thing hehe bye!

hi,

I want to start off by acknowledging that I am an internet stranger. I don't know you, and I can't tell you what label to identify with. that said, this sounds like an experience of an aromantic person. You may find it useful to learn about alterous/queerplatonic attraction (a good resource linked here!) and consider those past "crushes" in that light, or as a desire for a close(r) friendship in some sense.

Your experience in dating sounds nothing like that of someone who actually likes someone romantically. "Forcing yourself" to like someone does not, and will not, ever mean you are experiencing romantic attraction. Feeling your stomach drop, feeling the need to vomit, feeling disgusted and uncomfortable - those are all physical symptoms of anxiety, and your body's way of saying "Stop! I don't like this!".

It sounds like that former friend that keeps asking you out has no interest in respecting your boundaries. I would strongly advise, in no uncertain terms, communicating that "If you do not stop asking me out, I am going to stop talking to you." If it happens again, you need to enforce that boundary. Telling someone to stop is stating your boundary, and enforcing it is the follow through - block or mute all digital communication, avoid him in person, things like that.

--

A note on internet safety and details - you don't need to include specific grades, ages, or dates in these asks. Those only serve as personally identifying information, and quickly let me estimate your age, and frankly, combined with the overall detail you went into in this ask - that you are in some way fairly insecure and hoping for validation in many ways. I know most adults spout weird, garbage nonsense about internet safety - but knowing that you are young and insecure, even if as an anonymous ask, makes you the ideal target for genuine groomers.

The ask is anonymous, but it takes very little effort to create a dialogue, and build up to "oh we should just DM" - and now your account is known. Not to mention that pairing this information with, for example, an IP address, general location, any of that?

I don't want to be an annoying adult, but I say this as someone who's a young adult: you could safely send this ask by removing details. "From speaking with my friends, I have less crushes than they do. I'm also not really upset when they don't work out. When a guy asked me out, I felt disgusted and physically sick. I tried to force myself to like him, but I never stopped feeling sick." - for example.

[deanncastiel]

So I think it's not actually jenvy that I have but just that I like the way Jensen expresses his gender (gender expression) and honestly I'd like that for myself, I've been thinking about this WAY too much, and this is the second anon I've sent you about this, but this photo just gives me a vibe that I would like to have

https://www.instagram.com/p/CK0EpOIHsVX/?igshid=866fabq56ulz

also makes me want to write an RPF horror fic about jender (a good way to process maybe how I feel about how he emulates himself? IDK, maybe how his jender impacts us all?)

omg nonny, okay first off just want to say that i feel honored that you have spoken with me about this multiple times bc like, i'm happy that whatever nonsense i spouted last time about this whole thing inspired you to think more and continue to communicate bc hell yeah i love it

secondly, holy jesus nonny idk if it's jensen or just the pics you chose (it's prolly jensen lets be real) but like every specific photo you mention to me i'm just like "yes this is jender" the pic you've linked to here, the feeling i felt when i saw it for the first time is the same feeling i get when i'm trying to pick what i'm going to wear for the day like, that's super minor but like also part of someone's every day life right???

anyway okay, i'm not sure if it's just gender expression bc like.... hmmmm..... i'm not sure if jensen does anything special to express his gender he just expresses it the way it feels naturally, and it just happens to speak to a whole ton of gender questioning folks including you and i

but anyway to your comment about writing some horror RPF y'all hell yeah i am interested, like if it's j2 i might have to prepare myself to read this but i still will, but any story that is exploring his jender and how it may impact folks like that sounds interesting as fuck to me