#-fun ideas you could make outta that but i never actually like

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Hey Love your stuff! The Vs being protective of Retro, preventing them remembering anything bad or near murder that they do, is actually cute considering what Retro's dark side.

So here is a thought I had after reading Valentino covering up his near murder that Retro saw. What if Retro, most likely in the tower as i can't picture them ever doing this in public, was to try and flirt with Vox and Val?

I don't expect anything more than Retro maybe trying on a risky outfit, maybe getting nervous, and getting caught of course.

I just wonder how they would react as Retro making that kinda move seems outta character for your wonderfully created Hidden Serious killer 'house wife' Sea Bunny.

Sorry if my suggestion made you uncomfortable feel free to ignore it.

Anon, you are amazing. Don’t worry about it at all! I actually have a really adorable idea because of this, and I hope you like it! (Slight spice warning? I guess. It’s just a picture of the outfit in question, nothing really happens)

Something New!

“Vel, babe,” I said, with a nervous smile. “I have a teensy tiny favor to ask of you.”

“Oh?” Velvette asked, over the phone. She motioned for her models to shut up. “And what would that be?”

“Just- please come to my room when you can,” I said quietly. I was already blushing, and I hadn’t even told her what this was about.

“Of course! I’ll be over before you know it,” she said with a grin. I never asked for favors, much less from her. She knew that whatever this was, it would be good. “Love ya sweetheart, see you soon!”

“Love you too,” I said, a small smile on my face.

She hung up and dropped everything. “Everyone! Leave! Now!” She said, pointing towards the door. “I’ve got an emergency to cover.” She made another call on her phone. “Yeah, hey, Vox? Shut off the cameras.”

“What- why?” He asked, sounding suspicious. He was watching me fidget nervously in my bedroom- he was in his office, watching from the cameras- as I awaited Velvettes arrival. “Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all! If my hunch is correct, this could be great,” Velvette said, sounding excited. “I just need you to turn off your stalker cameras for a bit- at least the ones near and around Retro. If you’re watching, they might bail.”

“Bail on what?” Vox asked, sitting up straighter. “Vel, what are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” she said in a sing song voice, already headed to my room. “Nothing you need to worry about, at least. This will be fun, trust me.”

“Fine.”

“Yes!”

“But you only get two hours,” Vox said sternly. “Then the cameras are on and I get an explanation, understand?”

“You got it, babes,” Velvette said with a grin. She hung up and knocked on my door. “Retro? I’m here, love. May I come in?”

“Hm?” I looked at the door, surprised. She’d gotten here quick. I opened the door and stepped aside, letting her in my room. “Uh, yeah, definitely.” I closed the door behind her. “Uh. Don’t you- I thought you had work?”

“Hm? Oh yes, it was a slow day,” she said, waving a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it. Now, what was that favor you needed?”

“Oh! Right,” I said, my face heating up already. I looked away and sat on my bed, fidgeting again. “I, uh… I was wondering….”

“You were wondering,” Velvette repeated, sitting down besides me. My reaction was practically confirmation of her guess, but she wanted to hear it from me. “What is it, love? You know I can’t help unless you tell me.”

“Can you- could you help me find a good outfit to wear?” I blurted. God, I was so tense and nervous. It was silly, really. This wouldn’t be my first time wearing something risky, but I was still anxious about it. I loved them, and I was afraid I’d screw it up. I was having second thoughts already. “Something for Vox and Valentino. Something they’d like.”

“Oh!” Velvette said. She put a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide with surprise. She thought it was something of this nature, but to have me actually say it? Me admitting it? Damn. The way I was acting made it adorable to her. “You want something… suggestive? Or just showy?”

“W-what?” I asked, looking at her. Now I was confused. “Wait, there’s a difference? What?”

“Oh sweetheart,” she said, taking my hand in hers. “I have so much to teach you.”

For what seemed like forever, Velvette showed me an outfit and I said no. She was showing me lingerie, bondage gear, and the like. She quickly realized I was not used to this sort of thing (and I didn’t want to do anything, I just wanted to tease the boys), and toned it down. Eventually, we settled on a top and some normal pants.

(Left if you don’t have tits, right if you do. Or you could wear something else, I don’t care. I just don’t know how to describe this lol)

So, I got changed and hesitantly walked out from behind my dressing screen to show Velvette the outfit.

“So, uh… what do you think?” I asked, doing a little twirl for her. “Do you think they’ll like it?”

“Oh. My. God.” She gasped and walked over, admiring how I looked, and her handiwork. “Babes, you have got to do this more often! You look stunning. Here, let me get a picture.”

“No! No,” I said immediately pulling away. I was blushing furiously. “Please don’t. Oh my god, I should’ve known this was a bad idea. God, I feel so stupid…”

Velvette frowned, looking disappointed. She felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t meant to make me feel that way, she just wanted something to remember the occasion. She reached out to explain, but before she could, the door opened. Vox and Valentino walked in, looking serious.

“Alright, times up,” Vox said sternly. “I turned off the cameras, now I expect an-” he cut himself off when he saw me.

“Oh,” Valentino said with a grin. “This. I like this.”

“Fuck! Fuck, no, shit- you aren’t supposed to- oh my god,” I panicked, ducking behind my dressing screen. My face was as red as a tomato. I was so embarrassed. “Please leave!”

“Wait, what?” Vox asked, looking to Velvette. He was confused by my reaction. Was he not supposed to see me like this? Hadn’t I just spent the past two hours preparing for this? Why was I reacting this way? He wondered if he did something wrong. “Did I…?”

“No, it’s not you,” Velvette said quickly. She stood and walked over to the two, looking guilty. “They’re just… a bit shy. They aren’t used to this, you know? I kind of startled them, by accident, just before you came in.”

“Oh,” Vox said. He was still processing. And overheating slightly.

“Honey bunny,” Val said softly, approaching the dressing screen slowly. “It’s okay. We didn’t- we don’t-” he sighed. He had no idea what to say. “Sweetheart..”

“It was a silly idea,” I said quietly, on the other side of the screen. I was sitting on the floor, my knees tucked to my chest. “Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry,” he said. “May I…? Please?”

I didn’t respond but I didn’t stop him, either. I was conflicted. I wanted them to see, I was just afraid. I was afraid of a negative reaction. “I… I guess.”

He pushed the dressing screen aside and folded it up, then sat down next to me. “Come here, mi amor, it’s okay,” he said gently. He reached out to touch me, but didn’t, awaiting my permission. He was being so considerate, it was unlike him. I leaned towards him, allowing him to touch me, but I didn’t meet his gaze. “You look beautiful,” he said, wrapping his arm around my waist. He pulled me up against him.

“Thank you,” I said, with a small smile.

I looked over at Vox, who seemed on the verge of a system crash. His screen was flickering and he was clearly overheating just at the sight of me. Velvette was trying to help. She was not very successful. I laughed a little to myself and smiled wider- more genuine.

“He likes it too, you know,” Val said, nudging me playfully.

“I can tell,” I said, my expression softening. I was less tense now, more relaxed. “I’m glad.”

“So… will you be doing this again?” He asked with a grin.

“We’ll see,” I said with a small laugh. “I’m not sure Vox could handle it.”

“He’ll just have to get used to it! I won’t let him stop me from seeing you all dolled up and gorgeous like this,” Valentino said with a playful huff. He gently ran his fingers along my bare skin. “You look wonderful, mi cariño.”

“I agree!” Vox said, apparently having snapped out of his little spiral. His screen had a pink tinge to it- I imagined that was his way of blushing- but he had a smile on his face. He walked over and sat with us, Velvette following close behind. “I’d love to see you like this more, if you’re comfortable with it. You look stunning, either way, my dear.”

“Thank you,” I said, blushing again. He chuckled and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

“Not a problem, darling,” he said softly. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and smiled wider. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And I love them more than you!” Velvette declared.

“Hey!”

“I love them most!”

“HEY!”

[starheirxero]

I've been thinking a lot about Lunar's different designs, and would love to ramble about them a bit, if you don't mind!

All of this is, of course, completely self-indulgent, and my own interpretation!

Now, Lunar has three official VR models. There's the most iconic one, with the crescent moon, the cuter version of moon, and of course his current one! For simplicity, I will refer to them as "Crescent", "CutieMoony", and will call his current one "Pastel".

There was one other design, his very first, which was shown in the thumbnail, though in the actual show was just a very pale recoloring of moon, and only shown in reaction videos. Though it was never canon, I do still have my own interpretation to that as well! This one, I will refer to as "Pale".

"Crescent" is most important design, as it brings meaning to the rest. It lays the foundation for everything else, as it is his real design. It's what he automatically glitches into when he's under high stress. Most importantly, it's what he's been shown to look like in every other universe. Lord Lunar, Lunara, swap Lunar, all of them are the same. Crescent is universally shown to be his real self.

"Pale", on the other hand is, simply put, what Eclipse wanted him to be. Something easily pushed into the background, something mild. Something to sit by quietly, to take what is thrown at him. Pale is the opposite of who Lunar actually is. Interestingly enough, his design in the thumbnail changed the day Moon returned, the day Lunar finally decided to cut off his puppet strings and reject Eclipse. That day, he rejected the image Eclipse had crafted for him, and his design, pale and barely there at all, bloomed into something bright, something noticeable. Lunar finally became themself, no longer bound to their purpose.

"CutieMoony", is the opposite of Pale, as it's what he chose to be. This design, to me, truly underlines Lunar's relationship and appreciation for old moon. He already has an actual design, one designed by his brothers, one that's truly him, in this universe and every other, and he can change into everything he wishes to be, yet he chooses to look like old Moon. Old Moon, who knew him best, right after Monty. They have shared the same body, and old Moon has seen the dents and hurt left in Eclipse's wake. He is the one Lunar ran to, when they couldn't bear the abuse anymore, the one they cried their heart out to. And despite what Lunar did, even under the influence of someone else, he met them with nothing but care and concern. He listened to them, and visibly tried to reach out, only to hesitate and hover instead, for his hands were only ever used to hurt before, something Lunar knew. He didn't force them to stay outside, and took their place, didn't even hesitate when Lunar asked him to be his brother. He is the first one who tried so hard to be a loving brother, arguably trying to be what he couldn't be for Sun, at least not in the beginning. He actively supported their interests, remembered what they liked. When Sun scared Lunar in a horror game and made them cry, Sun panicked because Moon would hear, showing just how much of a protective barrier old Moon was for Lunar. By taking his appearance, Lunar truly showed how much they looked up to him, and how safe he made them feel, considering they took this appearance while they were trapped by KC. Another thing to note is the red and yellow accents, very reminiscent of Sun, showing how much their bond has grown since the rocky start.

Last but not least, there is "Pastel". This design definitly has a lot of interpretation to give, but my favorite to focus on is the raw wrongness of it. Because we know what Lunar looks like. He's supposed to be vibrant and blue, yet this body is purple and mellow. Ironically enough, it's very similar to "Pale", the very personification of what Eclipse wanted him to be, showing the permanent mark he has left on them, as well as their mental state. Their energy isn't genuine anymore, it's a distraction and exaggeration to run from the mess left in their head. There is also the divinity inside of them, reflected in their eyes, showing them that now, they are more than just Lunar. They are part of something much bigger than themself. This body, in every sense of the word, is not their own. It's something they might never see as a home either. Another irony is how it once again links them to Eclipse, who himself is in a body not his own.

His body is a literal copy after all, not to forget that his "real self" was universally shown to look like Solar, minus God Eclipse.

This was a rather long ramble, but I really needed to get it out of my system! The brainrot's been growing steadily-

Thank you for reading!

-Stardust

BELOVED STARDUST ANON I'M GOING TO START DOING FLIPS OVER HOW EXCITED I AM ABOUT THIS OH MY GHOD

I don't even know what to say other than these are all a fantastic observations and that I am wholeheartedly accepting these into my soul forever I think

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Coming up with the idea to take Simon out so that he can pick out a couple pieces of lingerie he wants to see you in, his choices really surprise you.

Request from here.

The minute you brought up the idea, Simon was on board, ready to dish out whatever money he needed to spoil his princess. It seemed like a win-win: you get new lingerie and he gets the benefit of picking out a few items that only he would get to see you in. How could he ever say no to something like that?

The first day you were both off you headed out to the local mall, ready to go on a different kind of mission, one that already had Simon salivating and itching to finish so you both could get back with the items in hand. You did promise that as soon as you got home you’d model them for him and there was no doubt what would inevitably come next.

Walking into the Victoria’s Secret all 6’4” of Simon drew a few stares, but he didn’t care; he was focused on you just as he was any time you two went anywhere. Arms wrapped around your middle to hold your back against his chest as you both slowly made your way through the store.

“Remember, it’s what you want to see me in,” you reiterated the rules for this excursion.

“Best believe I remembered, luv,” he said, his gravely voice hitting you ear just right to make you shiver with anticipation. “Haven’t been able to think of fuck all else since you brought it up, but I think that was your fuckin’ plan.”

You passed by several things that you were sure he would have picked up, you did say anything so nothing was off limits and that included whatever string number he may want to strap you in. The point was to get him excited to chose the bit of wrapping he wanted around his present, not that he needed it. He’d take you in a trash bag and still think you were the hottest piece of tail around.

A severe lack of Simon around your body broke you out of your thoughts as he had let you go to walk over to a display off to the left of you. The way he locked on, it was clear something had caught his eye and you followed him over just as he picked up a bra and pantie set and handed them over to you.

Baby pink with a bit of delicate lace lining the top of the cups, a tiny silken bow in the middle along the rib band and the same matching bikini style panties that had a slightly larger bow on the back, that was his choice. It was very sweet and dainty, something a very soft girl would pick for herself.

“Really? This one?” you questioned, eyebrow raised curiously.

“You said to pick one I liked,” he said. “I like this one. Is that a problem, sweetheart?”

It wasn’t a bad choice at all, just surprising. Never would you have imagined Simon pick something so...quaint. In fact you were sure he would have gone straight for the string thongs or see-thru lace bras, so when he chose that one it caught you off guard.

“Not at all, just didn’t think you liked that sort of style,” you backpedaled, not wanting him to think he screwed up.

“I can like pretty shit too, luv. After all, I chose you, didn’t I?” he chuckled. “This is what I want to see coverin’ across that sweet arse of yours... well, until I get to admire it layin’ on my floor.”

Your cheeks flushed bright red. Fuck, how did he always do that? “I was the one that did the choosing,” you pushed the subject as you tried to dissipate the heat in your face.

“Oh, is that so?” he shot back coolly, moving back in close to take your chin in his firm grasp. “The one that still gets nervous probably wasn’t the one callin’ the fuckin’ the shots. Don’t force me to make that blush brighter just to prove my point, luv.”

Touche, he had won this round; you knew he would too, screw being in public. He wasn’t afraid of people staring as they had been staring at him his whole life, might well enjoy himself while he drew the eyes. You gave in and backed down, receiving a quick peck on your lips for your troubles.

“Now, let me finish my shoppin’ so that we can get outta here and get to the actual fun part,” he said with a smirk.

Lord, he was insatiable. That man could have your pussy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and still be hungry for more.

Going through the rest of the place another similar set he found after a bit more of searching, this one a pale yellow with a little silk flower in the same places the bow was on the first set. He handed over everything over to you so that you could double check the sizes and make sure it was correct before he took it back so that he could pay.

Always the gentleman to his girl.

That large palm was plastered to your inner thigh the entire drive back and every now and again he gave it a squeeze. His mind raced as his imagination ran wild with images of what you’d look like in his purchases: beautiful? Always, but these pieces were more delicate than the others you had and so he was curious to see just how pretty you’d look in them.

“You ready?” you asked through the door.

Once you got back, you left him sitting in his chair as you went off into the bathroom to get changed. He had chosen the yellow to go first, saving his real favorite for last. As you slipped everything around your curves, you had to admit that it was actually really cute and surprisingly not too uncomfortable as well.

Good job baby.

“Get out here now, beautiful girl,” he called back.

Opening the door slowly, you stepped out and sauntered your way to him, stopping just shy of the tips of his boots. Placing your hands behind your back, you stood twisting your body back and forth as you let him admire his choice.

Silently Simon eyed you up and down, taking you all in. “Well?” you asked after a moment.

Eyes came back up to meet your own. “Do a spin for me, darlin’,” he said, making a spinning motion with his index finger. “Slow like.”

Turning around smoothly at a steady pace, you came all the back around until you were facing him again. He was leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, eyes locked to your body.

“What’s the verdict?” you asked again.

The corner of his mouth unturned. “I’ve got good taste,” he smirked. “Exactly what I fuckin’ wanted. You look amazing, sweetheart.”

His approval made you smile, excited that he liked it, even though you knew he would since he was the one to pick it out. That obsessive stare gave you new life; who wouldn’t want to be the object of Simon’s desire? “Should I try on the other one now?”

Simon nodded his head as he adjusted the crotch of his pants and you scurried back off to the bathroom to change, fueled by his intense interest in you.

The pink on slipped on just as easy and you actually enjoyed this one even more as it enhanced your skin tone to perfection and the little details were so sweet you knew why this one would be his favorite; you could hardly wait to go show him how good you looked.

Coming back out again you nearly ran straight into him as this time he was leaning against the door frame as if waiting for you. He didn’t say a word, but you swore you could hear his breath hitch in his chest as he gazed down at you in that soft little pink number. Calloused fingers came up to trace over the thin ribbon detail, following the curves of the mini bow in the center of your chest.

“This one I really fuckin’ like, sweetheart,” he purred in that gruff, low tone that set you alight.

You swallowed hard, your pulse racing in your veins already. “I have to admit you did really good baby,” you said. “Never thought you’d pick something so pretty.”

Fingers traced the line of the band under your breast along your ribcage before they came back up. “Like you in pretty, sweet things,” he said, slipping a thick finger into the top of the band between the cups. “Bows and flowers, light colors, that sort of shit. Suits you best, luv.”

“Aww,” you picked at him. “You going soft on me?”

That finger fully hooked itself into the fabric between your breasts and pulled you forward, making you take a step to bring you in closer until you were flush against his chest. Those amber eyes shimmered as he tilted his head down close to your neck. “All the shit I’ve to deal with at work, don’t ya wanna give this bastard somethin’ beautiful to touch?”

Well, when he put it like that…how could you deny him?

“My pretty little thing, so goddamn sweet,” he said with a groan, exploring hands releasing your bra so that they could run down the line of your back towards your hips before coming to a stop just under the curve of your ass. He cupped the cheeks one in each hand, massaging the meat in a circular motion.

Hungry lips embraced your neck, quick, burning kisses connecting with the skin to leave a trail of fire where he went. His arousal was already pressing up against your thigh as his hands on your ass squeezed harder; he had been worked up all day and seeing you all pretty for him it pushed him over the edge.

“Just wanna fuckin’ corrupt my little flower, ruin her pretty petals with my fat cock,” he breathed against the nape of your neck. His warm breath wafted down your collar bone to the tops of your breasts, making the skin pinprick with goose pimples while his words worked on your nerves to send you into a tailspin.

Were you supposed to stay sane after that? Because it just got really, really hard to think straight. “Yes,” was the only word your mind could form and you moaned it against the side of his head.

Fingers flitted around the waistband of your panties, outlining the band around your hips before it found the band descending between your legs; he followed that with his fingertips as well. “Mmmm, my beautiful girl, you know no one else even comes close?” he groaned. “Got the prettiest little thing around. Sets me on fuckin’ fire, how lucky I am to have such dainty thing at my disposal.”

Desperation gathered in his movements as he pawed at your body, causing you to respond to him as all your nerve ends across your skin began to ignite like he had just lit a match.

Without warning you were picked up and brought over to the bed where he set you down carefully along the edge. In an instant he had dropped down to his knees before you, one large hand gathered at the back of your head to pull you into his face so that he could press his lips desperately to yours. Wet, aggressive kisses he greedily stole from your mouth over and over again as he moved up into you.

“Lean back for me, darlin',” he said against your mouth.

Releasing you from his grasp you did as Simon said, laying back on your elbows so that you could still watch him. Hands on your parted thighs to steady himself, he swooped in. His face was at your pubic bone and he opened his mouth, collecting the waist of your panties in his teeth before he was pulling them down your legs, undressing you completely without the use of his hands.

Well damn, you had been curious to see how good they’d look on the floor since he had brought it up, but who could have predicted that they would look exquisite in between his teeth?

…Definitely a good choice indeed.

[xratwriterx]

A Story For Monster Fuckers

NSFW 18+

Synopsis: What starts as a classic horror story about a terrifying beast eating you alive becomes something far sluttier.

Word Count: 5000 (give or take)

Kinks/Triggers: wendigo(?) x female reader, NOT a lore accurate wendigo, monster x female reader, hell of a size difference, tongue fucking, multiple orgasms, breeding, it's a love story kinda but you're also silly and delulu.

Note: This is NOT an authentic wendigo. You're getting the stereotypical deer monster, not the humanoid cannibal creature from actual legend. I feel it's important to mention this, because the stories of what wendigos and skinwalkers are and such have been tainted by modern American culture, and deserve to be appreciated for what they are. I take LOTS of creative liberties in this story, and I just wanted to make sure y'all were aware. ;D

—

It was supposed to have just been a regular stroll through the woods.

You were lost. Of course you were lost. You had known from the start that this whole thing was a wretched and horrible idea. But oh, you just had to listen to your friends didn't you? It wasn't like you had anything better to do…

Your buddy Benjamin in particular had made you feel somewhat comfortable with the whole idea. He was a massive man whose facial hair made him look far older than he actually was. He liked to go hunting around here, and he even brought his hunting rifle with him before coming to pick you and your friends up, more so to make you feel safe than anything else. “I've traveled through these woods for years now. I know every nook and cranny, ain't nothin gonna hurt you out here,” he had spoken as if the whole idea of your fear was annoying, though you knew he meant no harm, “Those stories you hear are just told for the fun of it. Those old geezers yapping on about cannibal cryptids just get a kick outta scaring you.” It was hard to not feel safe around him. He'd made himself very clear that he wasn't interested in you, (frankly, he didn't seem to have an iota of desire for a partner in his body), and he'd always been there to pick you up when you fell down. So when all of your friends were gonna go with him down some new and obscure little trail he had found just for the hell of it, it wasn't too challenging to egg you on to just join in.

Now you were really regretting listening to him.

You couldn't pinpoint when it was exactly that you had gotten lost. You were never all that good at paying attention, and you normally liked to just go nonverbal and let your friends do all the yapping while you were out and about. You had gotten caught up in the forest's beauty, staring up at the leaves and how the sun shot its rays of light between the gaps. It had been like walking underneath one enormous painting, filled with random and intricate layers of dazzling greens and soft browns. It was remarkably beautiful, so much so that by the time you stopped to look around again…

You had tried calling out for somebody, but nobody had come. You had tried backtracking, but everything looked the same, and there were a lot more diverging paths than what you had remembered. Worst of all, the sun was going down, and you knew once its light was gone that you wouldn't be able to see a thing.

You tried to take a deep breath. It was difficult not to panic, especially because of the sheer unfamiliarity of it all. It was like the entire layout of the forest changed every time you blinked. The very air you were breathing seemed to be tainted. It was like that feeling you get whenever you walk into a place and just know there's something paranormal about it. These woods were more than just haunted. It was almost as if you had been placed under some kind of curse.

Just as it was really getting dark, you saw a large field through a thicket of bushes. You hesitated for a moment, before finally deciding to go off the trail completely. Maybe a helicopter could see you better from a big open space like this, though you hoped it wouldn't also make you more visible to anything that wanted to eat you…

The sun was just about gone now. Great. At least there were some large rocks near the center of the field that you could hide by. They leaned on each other and were shaped in a way that provided minimal shelter, but it was better than nothing. You huddled up and decided to just keep your mouth shut until you heard something that sounded friendly…

As time went by, you checked to see if your phone had any signal for good measure. Of course, it didn't, but that little box of light and colors was your only piece of familiarity in all of this. You took a moment to look through your photos, clearing some unnecessary clutter while thinking back to all of the memories you had before this.

You weren't gonna die out here. You were scared out of your damn mind, but you knew in your gut that this wasn’t how it was going to end. You couldn't have been THAT far from home, and even if you were, you were in a spot that must've been easy to find from the air. Maybe tomorrow you could even grab some rocks and spell out the word “help” or something. If anything, this was an opportunity to collect some crazy new y/n lore.

You turned down the brightness on your phone and looked up at the sky for what was supposed to be a moment, before becoming completely entranced. You had never seen so many stars before, and the moon was casting its light down on the soft grass that surrounded you. You had never seen something that managed to be so simultaneously beautiful and creepy. It certainly wasn't helping that everything had just gone utterly silent. You could've sworn you had heard birds chirping before, but now there was nothing. When you finally took a moment to acknowledge your surroundings again, you felt your heart sink. There was something in the woods looking back at you.

You could barely make out its figure, but it was standing right at the forest edge, and it did not look normal. It wasn't moving at all, but you knew it wasn't just an oddly shaped tree. You could feel its eyes on you. A cool rush of adrenaline had shot out from your spine through your entire body. You refused to blink, because you knew the moment you did it would be gone. Sure, seeing some beast in the distance was frightening, but it was better than knowing something was out there without knowing its exact location. You sat completely still, hoping it wasn't looking at you, even though you knew it was. This was definitely the most intense staring contest you had ever been in.

You could feel your eyes starting to burn and well with tears, but you just couldn't bring yourself to blink. You did your best to keep an eye on the thing as you slowly opened your phone and pressed the button for the flashlight. With a triumphant movement, you raised the light to see what was there and…

There was nothing. The light didn't reach. In fact, the bright light caused your eyes to adjust, and now you couldn’t see the tree line. Not only that, but you had also just confirmed to this creature that you were in fact present. You quickly turned the light off, and of course by the time your eyes had adjusted again, the creature was long gone.

Cursing yourself for making such an idiotic move, you tried to huddle closer to the rocks, as if they'd protect you at all from whatever was out there. You knew you had seen something. This wasn't your eyes playing tricks on you, as much as you wished that were the case.

Every second felt like a minute. The tension was so thick it could've been sliced with a disposable plastic knife that you’d find at a birthday party. You were frantically scanning the tree line in front of you, but the rocks you were hiding behind blocked any view of the woods behind you, and you didn't dare try to look around. You were just waiting for something to slowly peek its head around. Your brain kept conjuring up worse and worse ideas of what you had just looked at, making this living nightmare all the more unbearable, and that wasn't even mentioning the regret you felt for pulling your damn phone flashlight out.

The woods began to speak again. Whatever had been looking at you was gone now. You nearly screamed when you saw something trotting across the field in front of you, but you let out a sigh of relief when you saw it was a deer.

A few more followed, and they moved with purpose, almost as if they wanted to get through the field as quickly as possible. You didn't blame them, but you weren't about to join in. This field was your only chance of rescue, and you weren't about to let some spooky cryptid fresh out of a shitty YouTube analog horror video scare you off. You triumphantly smiled and almost laughed, more out of the insanity of it all than anything else, but you didn't dare make a sound. You had no delusions about the fact that whatever the hell was out there was absolutely real.

You tried to conjure up from memory what exactly those old men in town had said in those tales about the forest. It was a legend that had been passed down through the generations, one of a great beast that was once the most handsome man in an old native tribe. He was an arrogant man, and a cunning warrior, who through his strength and charm had become the leader of his people. But when this had happened, he only became greedy for more. He started to attack neighboring tribes, and he started a unique tradition of feasting on the captured leaders while they were still alive. This displeased the gods, and the more he did this, the more corrupt and insane he became. One day, the nearby tribes finally banded together as one and managed to capture him. It was then that he was banished to roam the woods until he died, never to be seen again…

But, while his mortal punishment had been given, the gods were still not satisfied, and so they cursed him with eternal life, a twisted form, and a permanent, insatiable hunger for human flesh. Rumor has it that he roams these woods to this day, looking for his next victim. His original name has long since been forgotten. Only the word “Wendigo” remains…

Before, you had at least felt comfort in knowing these stories weren't true, but now that you had seen that thing, you couldn't think up a better explanation. Maybe you wouldn't make it out of here alive after all…

No, the minute you started to think like that was the moment it was all over. This was a prank, some cruel stupid prank your so called “friends” were playing on you. So what if they had always been extraordinarily kind and understanding before, and had never pulled something remotely mean on you before. It was a better explanation than being hunting by a mythical creature, right?

You took a deep breath, and called out into the woods, “I'm not scared of you!” The woods went quiet again the moment you finished speaking. You could almost feel the trees around you calling you a dullard. “Th-this is all just a stupid prank! And it's NOT funny! So- just come out RIGHT now! Or I'll-”

Something in the forest screamed.

You nearly squeaked before going silent. That sound you had heard was not human. It sounded like a mixture between a howl and a screech, something along the lines of a dying bovine. It had come from behind the rocks you were hiding in.

A few moments passed, and another sound came forth. This time it was a low growl, accompanied with the sound of claws on rock. You knew it was doing this on purpose. If it wanted to be silent, it definitely could've. It was slowly making its way to your left, coming around to reveal itself to you. There was nothing you could do to stop this creature.

It started with a hand, covered in a thin layer of black fur and tipped with sharp claws. Then came around the rest of the creature. It must've been at least 8 feet tall, though right now it was crouching low to get a better look at you. Its waist was deathly thin, its skin gripping around its ribcage. Despite its humanoid shape, its head was completely foreign. Its face took the form of a deer’s skull, with a set of antlers coming from atop its head. Most apparent of all was a pair of dimly lit red eyes...

There was no way this was some kind of prank. It would take a level of coordination that you knew your friends couldn't pull off. You were certain you were looking at that beast of legend the locals talked about so much. You were face to face with the Wendigo.

It let out another low growl. You desperately wanted to move, but fear had paralyzed you. It moved with surprising grace, leaning its head forward to give you an almost curious look. “A-are you gonna eat me or what?” you barely managed to whimper out. The creature simply stared into your eyes for a moment before… shaking its head.

“Wh…what?” you gawked in disbelief, “Can you… understand me?” The creature slowly moved its head up and down. You laughed. How else were you supposed to react? Not only had you just met a supernatural creature, it wasn't trying to kill you.

“So… you can't talk, but you can- okay, there aren't any mushrooms in this forest that can mess me up, right?” The creature nonchalantly shrugged in response, backing up slightly and looking around before looking back at you. “That… isn't helpful,” you sighed. Suddenly, the creature grabbed your ankles.

“Hey! What're you-” it pulled your waist out from under you, dirtying up your jeans as it began to sniff you all over. You giggled and kicked your feet, trying to tuck your neck away as the creature smelled you, “Heheheh- h-hey! Cut that out! That tickles-” What started as short sniffs turned into a deep inhale. The creature lifted its head back a bit, as if relishing in your scent before leaning forward again as it pulled your waist closer to… his.

Yep, it was very apparent now that this was a boy. There was a massive piece of evidence now throbbing between his legs to prove it. You blushed at the sight before quickly looking back up the monster, “Y-you’re joking. Awwww great, you're telling me I got a HORNY forest monster?!” The Wendigo responded by bringing his hands to your hips, grasping them with shocking gentleness as he purred in your ear. The worst part was, the whole thing was turning you on.

The beast brayed with what sounded like slight desperation, but oddly enough, he wasn't advancing things any further. The tip of his fat monster cock was already starting to ooze with precum, but something was holding him back. You looked up to see the Wendigo was staring you down, almost as if he wanted something…

“N-no way- are you asking me for my consent?” you spoke in utter shock. The creature simply groaned, letting out a short and frustrated huff before nodding. “Okay, first of all. I don't appreciate your sass. Second- hey!” The creature had gently begun dragging the tip of its tongue from your collarbone to your jawline, eliciting a slight moan, much to your embarrassment. The beast’s chest rumbled and jumped, a deep, powerful laugh coming from behind its exposed jaw. “H-hey. None of this is funny. Okay mister? You need to- hhhhah…” The Wendigo lightly flicked its tongue along your neck as its knee pressed up between your legs. You tried to close them, but the monster responded by grabbing your knees with his hands and easily prying them open. The monster growled at you again, refusing to take things any further.

You took a moment to catch your breath and think. Maybe this creature could help you? It certainly didn't seem like anything in the forest wanted to mess with it. Even so, you felt you were perfectly capable of handling things on your own. You still liked your little plan with the helicopter and the rocks.

No, there was something else now. Morbid curiosity. You were curious as to what it would be like to let this thing fuck you. The monster certainly seemed like he had the capacity to be gentle…

“O-okay… I-I'll let you do it… but you have to follow my instructions. No funny business, g-got it?” the monster slowly nodded in understanding, backing off slightly and bowing his head.

“Okay… u-uhm… do you have a name?” the beast looked up at you before shaking its head. You found this to be strange. Maybe the legends had gotten some things wrong? Surely a former human had a name. “Hm… how about… Wendy?” you smiled sheepishly. It was an odd (and frankly slightly childish) name to give him, but he didn't seem to mind. “Alright…” you mumbled awkwardly, sitting in silence with the creature and not knowing exactly what to do next.

Thankfully, Wendy seemed to be willing to take some initiative. He leaned forward and began grinding his knee up to your crotch again. You let yourself breathe freely now, relaxing as he brought a hand up to your chest and began to massage one of your breasts. “You seem- nnghh- awfully experienced for a forest monster. N-not that I've ever fucked one before. This is definitely- hah- a first for me,” you tried to speak evenly between your little mewls of pleasure, as you let the beast start to help you out of your clothes.

Despite his massive hands, Wendy was extraordinarily careful with you, helping to make sure you didn't tear any of your clothes. He even knew how to undo your bra. As you laid on your now bare back in the cool forest grass, you blushed as the creature took a moment to look you over once more. “Do you like what you see?” you nervously squeaked out. Wendy chuckled and gave you a slight nod, before bringing his hand down between your legs.

He started with a gentle touch, slowly slipping his fingers up your folds before finding your clit. You whimpered and seized up a bit from how sensitive you were and he quickly pulled his hand away, purring in your ear as if to reassure you and giving you a small lick on the cheek before trying again. He went even slower this time, and when he found the sweet spot again he simply held his middle and ring finger there. You took a moment to breathe. It all felt so fast paced, but the more you looked at Wendy, the more you wanted him to fuck you. It was the dirtiness of it all that was really getting to you, allowing this savage beast to have his way with you. You heard a questioning grunt come from him, and you nodded in response, “Yes, I'm ready. J-just start slow…”

Wendy did exactly as you wished, rubbing slowly as he began to place little licks along your cheek and neck again. This seemed to be his way of kissing you, since he didn't have any lips. He grumbled something unintelligible in your ear again, nuzzling his bony face up to yours in an affectionate manner. It was difficult to get a read on his face, since he couldn't exactly make facial expressions either, but his body language certainly implied that he was into you. If he was a human once, you reckoned it somewhat made sense. If anything, it explained why he was so pent up.

He began to move his fingers a little faster now, and you were both settling into a steady rhythm. The creature leaned in closer to you, grunting with arousal and letting out hot breaths of air. He was surprisingly gentle for such a large thing. You could feel yourself melting to his touch, relaxing your muscles as he silently guided you closer and closer to finishing.

“F-fuck Wendy- whoever taught you knew what they were doing- h-hahh-” you could barely speak between the relaxing waves of pleasure, “You're gonna make me cum..” Wendy wasn't speeding up anymore. As you bucked your hips from the pleasure, he simply grabbed you and held you in place, forcing you to hold still and take what he was giving you. It was almost terrifying how easily he could manhandle you. Despite his somewhat slender and unnatural appearance, he was leaps and bounds stronger than anyone you had ever been with before. “F-fuck Wendy! Nngh!-” you squirmed and moaned in ecstacy as you approached your peak, hearing the beast on top of you let out a gentle groan of satisfaction as your orgasm finally arrived. Your entire body shuddered with delight, your head lolling back as you took a moment to recover…

But Wendy wasn't done with you yet.

Now he had slipped lower on your body, prodding your entrance with his bony snout and braying something you couldn't understand. He took a moment to sniff you, before deeply inhaling and embracing your scent. “Hey!” you tried to scoot back, but he easily pulled you back closer, reaching down with his other hand and grasping his massive cock. You didn't know if you'd even be able to handle the thing, but Wendy seemed to have other ideas in mind.

That was when you felt his tongue starting to push inside of you. It was slick and warm with his saliva, and you gasped with surprise at the feeling of it. “Slowly, please,” you squeaked as you felt like you were starting to be stretched. Wendy did as you asked, but he certainly wasn't stopping. He buried his unnaturally long tongue deeper and deeper inside of your pussy, wiggling it around slightly to get a feel for you. It wasn't as thick as his cock was, so it felt a lot easier to handle.

He then began to make his tongue ripple. It felt a bit odd at first, but each ripple pushed right up into your g-spot, and you were quickly finding that you liked it. It was a completely unique sensation that you had never experienced before, but in a way it made sense. Having a long, powerful, dexterous tongue probably helped to break down food, since chewing is difficult to do without a mouth to hold all of that food in. Wendy had begun to stroke himself faster, groaning with delight at your flavor as he tasted your insides.

You tried to match his rhythm with your hips, grinding along with him so that he pushed into your g-spot a little harder. He settled his weight comfortably into his knees, freeing a hand from supporting his weight to hold onto yours. His thumb lovingly rubbed the back of your hand, and you could already feel yourself building up to another orgasm. “Damnit Wendy- f-fUCK you shouldn't be this good- you're gonna make me cum again!” you spoke with a pleasure riddled tone, but you knew it wasn't just skill that was getting you so turned on. You had never done something so deviant before. A one night stand was already a new experience (if you could even call this a one night stand) but you weren't just getting busy with some random guy. You were getting busy with-

“H-HAHH!!” your thoughts were interrupted as you got swept up in an orgasm. Your body shivered and shook as Wendy worked you right back into place with his strength, quickly yet smoothly easing off from working his tongue before gently retracting it from inside you.

You took a moment to breathe, and as you did, the beast slowly clambered his way back to being fully on top of you. You could see his tip was leaking with pre, to the point that a droplet dripped right onto your bare cunt. “W-wait,” you thought out loud, “This couldn't get me pregnant, could it?” Wendy didn't respond. “W-wendy?” you tried to reason with him, “Hey, y-you said you would listen to me, right? Wendy?!” You felt his strong grip on your thigh as he laid his cock out on your stomach, showing you with a seemingly amused expression just how deep inside you he would be going. You gulped nervously, whimpering in terror, “Please.. j-just don't hurt me…”

Wendy's hand then came up to your cheek, gently cupping it as he leaned forward and purred into your ear. You knew he was trying to comfort you, but the fear of pregnancy was still a very real thing.

But… fuck. Wouldn't it be hot to just let this beast have his way? You could just imagine the feeling of him dumping his hot, sticky load inside of you, fertilizing your womb with his seed. You could live a simple life out here in the woods. There would be no more societal pressures or worries. All you'd have to do was take monster dick and learn to live this new life. It didn't seem so bad the more you thought of it…

Wendy interrupted your thoughts once more with a gentle little lick on your cheek, followed by the feeling of his tip pressing up to your folds. He brayed with what sounded like desperation, the muscles in his free hand tensing as he closed it into a fist. He was struggling to control himself.

“Hey, shhhh…” you took Wendy's hand in yours, looking up at him with a gentle yet sheepish smile before saying, “Give it to me… pl-please…”

For a moment you both were locked in that moment, gazing into each other's eyes. Wendy let out a long winded exhale, as if he had been holding his breath. Then, with a deep throated growl, he began to push into you.

You winced. It hurt. You had expected it considering his size. But it also wasn't as bad as you had expected. You realized that him using his tongue earlier had not only felt amazing, but it had also primed you to take his cock instead of just going with that first. You assumed it was purposeful anyway. Reading the creature's thoughts was anything but easy.

He started with small thrusts, with each push stretching you a little more and allowing him to go a little deeper. He took his time, encouraging you with small “kisses” and gentle touches until he was finally fully submerged inside of you. You were soaking wet at this point, your slick fluids lathering up Wendy's dick as he began to get more assertive. He wrapped his arms under yours and held onto your shoulders, and you wrapped your arms around him to start to dig your nails into his back. “Oh god- W-wendyyyy,” you groaned in ecstacy, “You're sooooo big… mnngfff. Ddddon't stooop.” You were beginning to slur your words, your brain shutting down and going foggy as Wendy began to pick up his pace. Now that you had adjusted, his cock felt absolutely amazing. You never knew before that there was so much space inside of you to stimulate.

It didn't help that Wendy was getting more and more vocal with each thrust. What had started as gentle purrs and groans had turned into louder and louder animalistic roars, something like a mixture between a human and a deer. He certainly wasn't ashamed to speak his mind, grunting and growling unintelligible things in your ear that you could only assume was his way to dirty talking. Without context it might have even been comedic, but in this moment it felt all the more attractive to hear him desperately trying to communicate how turned on he was, and it wasn't helping that each thrust was bringing you closer and closer to the brink. You looked in Wendy's eyes. He was getting close too. You could just feel it.

You then wrapped your legs around him, refusing to let him pull out, even if he had been planning on it. You couldn't let this desire go now. You needed to feel him cum in you. “That's right. Fucking christ- pleeease cum inside me! Fill me. Fire that potent sticky load inside my fertile little womb and get me pregnant. I want it- no- I need it, so give it to me big boy! Knock me the fuck up!”

Wendy let out a final triumphant howl as you squealed with overwhelming pleasure. He pushed himself as deep inside of you as he could as you both reached your climaxes. It was timing made into perfection. Of course you were cumming at the same time. Your bodies were made for one another. That's what made doing something so wrong feel so right. You could actually feel his cock throb and pulse with each rope of semen that shot out from his tip, filling your guts more and more. It felt satisfyingly heavenly, like you were comfortably full from a full course meal…

He then slumped forward, nearly crushing you before barely catching himself. He huffed with exhaustion, his eyes blinking as if he was dazed. He didn't pull out, keeping his cum plugged up inside you as he began to lay himself down with you at his side. You allowed your bodies to wrap around one another's, the cool grass making for a surprisingly comfortable bed as Wendy cuddled you close. You snuggled up to his furry chest, listening to his lungs rhythmically fill and empty themselves of air.

You could feel your eyes starting to flutter. This felt oddly comfortable. The bright moon above was sheltered from your eyes by Wendy's arm, and he protectively held you close. Maybe the plan with the helicopter could wait a while. Maybe everything had worked out just fine already. Maybe you were exactly where you needed to be…

—

Whew! This one took me a while. It was my longest and most arduous project here yet. I'm taking a much deserved break. Expect shorter stuff for the time being. If you've read this far, I'm genuinely honored. To even reach one person and give them something to enjoy like this is enough to make it all worth it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. <3

[tenjikyu]

𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 - 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ comedy, fluff and all things happy! reader and baji are twins and basically fight over chifuyu (who 100% has a fat crush on you)

❤︎ growing up, you and your twin brother keisuke shared almost everything.

❤︎ birthdays, bedrooms, toys and even friend groups! you and baji were inseparable and jumped at the chance to help eachother out when either of you needed it.

❤︎ so you’d never expect that the first thing they argued over would be a boy by the name of chifuyu matsuno.

❤︎ the day keisuke came home with the blonde in tow, you were out sick with a flu. you were peacefully chilling on the lounge, watching a movie when he barged in and asked his mother where the yakisoba was in the fridge.

❤︎ chifuyu had seen you around school already, despite it only being your first week there. you were popular almost instantly, girls and guys alike drawn to your eccentric aura and personality.

❤︎ chifuyu couldn’t deny the fact he wanted to get to know you better. he saw how you acted gently with the elderly and scolded any young kids tormenting others. he thought you were cool.

❤︎ so imagine his surprise when he saw you bundled up on the couch of his most respected.

❤︎ you FREAKED, to put it gently.

❤︎ you looked like total shit! you were nasally and in your stinky pjs that you had been sick in for the past 2 days! all the while in front of one of the most influential kids in the SCHOOL.

❤︎ chifuyu noticed your stiffened posture, and quickly offered you a gentle wave before going to follow keisuke.

❤︎ and from that day onward, blondie (your loving nickname for him) was a semi permanent addition to your household.

❤︎ he would come over almost everyday, greeting you and making conversation often. you would talk back, laugh and joke about baji together (well, it’s mostly you making fun of your brother, him throwing shit at you whilst chifuyu awkwardly giggles to himself).

❤︎ but, after almost 2 months of only really talking to him through your brother, you began to crave seeing him more often.

❤︎ why? you had no idea. all you knew is you started missing him more often, joking to keisuke about forcing him to stay the night in hopes he actually would.

❤︎ in the end though, he’d always return to his apartment a few floors down, insisting it’s no trouble making it back home.

❤︎ so, as any baji descendant would, you decided you’d take him by force.

❤︎ the weekend arrived, keisuke and chifuyu met up to go to the mall together, and once they made it you striked.

❤︎ you charged AND I MEAN CHARGED at chifuyu, scaring the SHIT outta the both of them, taking his hand and swiftly running away from your screaming brother. giggling loudly, you waved behind you in a mocking manner.

“H-HUH? (Y/N)?” chifuyu stammered out, holding onto your hand tightly and running with you despite not having a clue what was going on. you only laughed at him, making his cheeks flush ever so lightly

as the two of you continued, you could head the abrasive running behind the two of you.

“(Y/N) WHAT THE FUCK?? GIVE ME BACK MY VICE CAPTIN YOU SHITHEAD” you could hear baji screaming behind you two. in a fit, you yelled back:

“FUCK NO KEISUKE! MATSUNO IS MINE FOR THE DAY! LEARN TO SHARE ASSHOLE.” before laughing to yourself once more.

chifuyu flushed when you said he was yours for the day. he honestly didn’t expect you to be this intrested in hanging out with him. he honestly thought you only hung around him because your brother brought him everywhere.

alas, he keeps running with you, the both of you making quick turns before eventually taking refuge in a pet shop, watching keisuke run in the complete wrong direction.

❤︎ and so, as promised, you and chifuyu spent the entire day shopping around the massive mall. you went into store after store, trying on different outfits together before realising you’re both WAY to poor to afford the cute matching ¥11,000 shirts with a cool dragon design on it.

❤︎ you scoffed your faces with fast food in the massive food court, laughing and joking to eachother the entire time.

❤︎ you blabbed on about your childhood and growing up with your twin brother, talking about how much you really admired him and thought we was badass. chifuyu snickered before you promptly threatened him into not speaking a word of it all.

❤︎ of course, keisuke never gave up on finding you, so it was a massive game of cat and mouse around the mall before the both of you decided you’d had enough, heading back to the apartment complex.

❤︎ before you left, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T CRUEL, you let your brother catch up to the both of you, enduring his yelling the entire time home. he walked in front of the both of you, whining about the day you had ‘ruined’ for him and his partner, however you tuned him out completely.

❤︎ you only focused on how chifuyu hadn’t let your hand go the entire walk back to your units.

❤︎ making it back, the sun was finally falling. this time, you begged the boy into staying the night. of course, the blonde is a huge suck up to you and thus, the night ended with the three of you lying on keisuke’s bedroom floor, scoffing your faces and watching old VHS films.

❤︎ you fell asleep that night, leaning against his bed. you had keisuke on your left, his head on your shoulder as he snored loudly. chifuyu was on your right, his whole body against you with your arm wrapped around his schuldners, keeping him close to your chest.

❤︎ as you listened to the soft and noisy snores of your two most treasured people, you eventually succumbed to slumber of your own.

❤︎ maybe you can convince chifuyu to stay over once more, and maybe next time it could just be the two of you.

bonus:

❤︎ when the tree of you woke up, you found that keisuke had moved up to his bed at some point while you were OH MY GOD-

❤︎ face to face with the blonde (who wasn’t awake yet), you had him curled into your embrace with a blanket thrown over the top of you.

❤︎ yeah, waking up was pretty fuckin awkward.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for cutting off my mentally unstable friend without any explanation whatsoever?

(🧠🌩️ so i can find it)

tw for abuse and cheating mentions

ok typing out that title makes me feel like i might be TA to, like, some degree but just hear me out first.

i (19, f) was in my first semester of college when i met rachel (20). we shared a class and grew to be friends over our shared nerdy interests. i admittedly didn't really like her that much at first and didn't consider her to be that close of a friend. she was really just someone to talk to when class got boring or we had a break or something.

i was actually kinda regretting talking to her at all because i clocked that she was a little unstable almost immediately; she was very quick to anger and constantly talked about fighting people that had ""wronged"" her (which included our professor who she was convinced was out to get her for some reason?? idk why our prof was a really nice lady), constantly trauma dumped without asking (i'm talking like early into our relationship too. first day we met she was ranting about her abusive mother and her childhood trauma and stuff), and always found a way to turn the focus of the conversation about her any time i tried to talk about myself or anything that wasn't our shared interests. the only reason i gave her my number is bc she asked for it and i didn't know how to turn her down without hurting her feelings--i'd been planning on ghosting the second our class ended.

so we continued to talk/text for like a year and (at her insistence) met up for lunch in between class the following semester. i warmed to her a little at this point so it wasn't too bad; at the very least her constant drama gave me something to talk about with my real friends, and like i said i didn't really know how to cut her off in a way that wouldn't start something.

so time goes on and she shuffles through a few boyfriends--all who either cheated on her or were inattentive/verbally abusive. she constantly asked me for advice, which was confusing bc she never listened to it? like she asked me if she should take back her ex who cheated on her 3x and i said "no that sounds like an awful idea" and then she exploded at me and screamed that i could 'go fuck myself' and to 'stay the fuck outta her business bc it's her fucking life and not mine'. but then the minute he (predictably) cheated on her again and dumped her guess who had to sit with her on the phone for 2 hours while she cried? yep. me!

this kinda bullshit continued all the way up to a few months ago. she met a new guy, told me all about how he was "the one" and "he's gonna be different this time" blah blah blah. at this point i genuinely stopped giving a fuck about her and her problems. the only reason i hadn't cut her off was because my other friends loved hearing about her drama secondhand and i admittedly did enjoy making fun of her with them. which i know is kinda shitty but at least she'll never find out about it?

anyways, shit starts to get particularly juicy bc two months into rachel's relationship with this new dude he proposes. and she accepts (?!!) not only that but she informs me (not asks. INFORMS) me that i will be a bridesmaid. and i panicked and just said "uhhh cool i'm so happy for you!!" so this is the point where i decide that i need to end this relationship bc having to attend her wedding is just not something i wanna be apart of and i felt that if i went through with that it would solidify our ''friendship'' in her mind and i'd never be rid of her.

so i stop responding to her texts as frequently and began ducking her calls. didn't have to stop initiating bc i never initiated convos with her in the first place. i'd answer every once in a while bc she would start spamming that she was having ""emergencies!!!"" which. they never were true emergencies; she just wanted to vent about her fiance and his shitty family or something his ex-wife did to piss her off (her fiance was like 20 and divorced twice with three kids. YIKES) and i'd listen until she got tired of talking and ended the call. not once did she ever ask about me btw. at this point she wasn't even to pretend to care about me or my life; i was just her dumping grounds for all her trauma and venting.

i thought she might've got the message that we were done bc she hadn't texted for like a month, but a few days ago i recieved a message that said something like "omg i haven't heard from you in a while, are you okay??" and. i'm not sure if i can put into words the sheer amount of exasperation and annoyance those words filled me with. like i could tell right off the bat it was just a ploy so she could get me talking and then vent and saddle me with all her stupid emotional bullshit. so i blocked her, finally. this shouldn't cause any problems bc she dropped out of school last semester (she was failing so she decided to start her own business).

the thing is, i know that she's mentally not well. she is very erratic and immature, add that to the fact that she's gone through a lot of trauma throughout her life and the end result is a deeply flawed person. at the same time i'm not responsible for her mental health and continuing to play friends with her what i don't even like her in the first place seems disingenuous. but she's got abandonment issues, so me doing this is probably gonna hurt her. although me being honest and saying that i can't stand her and her drama anymore probably wouldn't feel any better.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[plleeeepppyyyy]

I have a request if you’re doing any!!

Wally Darling x Rockstar Reader

I don’t care what you do with this but I hope you enjoy it!!

Reader is the singer and dancer of the neighborhood! Very happy go lucky, loving, and even a little clumsy. Yet always calm during making music

Which I can picture reader being a great muse. And reader singing a lot to Wally.

this was def fun to write!! all the ideas and cutesy stuff came to me in a flash ngl.. (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

really cute request!! you guys are so creative with these,,,(•̀ᴗ•́)و

wally + singer/rock star reader!

__

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

♬♫♬♫♬♫♬♫♬♫♬♫♬♫♬♫♬♫

••••••••••••••

•this man,,, god,, this man.

•he’s literally ur number one fan girl. he’s there for every performance, writings, everything. you name it he’s there!

•wally just loves watching you in the process of making music, its like an art! to him, it’s wonderful of how passionate you are about it. he adores watching you almost trip on a cord as you just jam out,, doesn’t matter how clumsy you are,, you’re just elegant to him. seeing you so peaceful as you strum on a guitar or something.. 🫶 (if he had a camera he would take a pic of you 200x)

•literally every-time you come up to him with ur newest draft of a song, he gets so excited!! that inner fangirl comes out.,, wally is pretty honest when it comes to stuff. but he just can’t help himself, every song, draft, album,, literally all perfection to him. you cannot do no wrong with that. he buys all of your stuff if you ever sell it. (prolly got a shrine.)

•if you ever write a song based on him,, he would actually cry out of happiness, at least be on the verge of it. you just give the song to him and he’s just like, “it’s so perfect,,,, tysm,,” while he’s on the verge of letting it out. he’ll listen to it every day. :) <3

•bonus points if you write it for your guys’ one year anniversary! that man will be so happy,, he probably would let a few tears out too..,,. like you used your creativeness on little old him?!(!(ಡ‸ಡ) wally would cherish the hell out of that song, he can just mumble out a praise as he’s about to ugly cry. like.. THANK YOU?!(!? (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

•he’ll just grab a hold of you and not let go,, it just makes him feel so happy. he’ll probably cry into ur shirt tho,,

•if you ever had some albums posted out or whatnot, he will put them on his wall. wally would prolly accidentally buy out the whole thing,, like cmon, he’s has to use some of them for display and hearing!! ( ˘ ³˘)

•ur his main inspiration for his art too,, seeing you so into doing what u do, gibes him strength. he will ABSOLUTELY paint tf outta you! literally you guys would be in the same room while he sketches and you just strum your guitar or smth, ack he’s a sucker for moments like those. ur for sure his muse. got ten whole folders of drawings and projects that are meant for you.

•he might even call you his muse tooo! :)

•he asked you once what type of music you were doing and you prolly replied with a random genre he’s never heard up,, and he’d just be like. “ah, that’s wonderful.. can’t wait to hear it.”

•he do NOT give a care,, any genre in his eyes and ears it’s perfection. like said before, you do wrong.

•if ur the type to do sad songs, he’s a little worried. like bby what’s got you so sad? :(

•sometimes (if you offer) he also does stuff with you. to him he thinks he’s better at playing instruments, which is lie he’s hella good at singing.

•he’ll give you ideas, suggestions; whatever you need!

•i literally will say it here, ya’ll do duets with each other. especially with old timey love songs, it’s just cute,,, a bit sappy. but who cares, I IMAGINE you two just singing together. (bonus points if he’s playing a piano,, well trying to,, he needs some practice..)

•every time you put on a performance,, he just sits there with the dopiest smile on with lovestruck written all over him. bro is VERY in love, he could listen to you alll day. if he had a tail it would be wagging. he will never take his eyes off either, all of his attention is on you, just you.

•even if you got a recording studio, he admires how much you get into the music. its so amusing seeing you be so calm during the whole process of making a song, but when you perform your songs. like thats my baby fr!!! wally is ur number one hype man,, i mean this all the way.

(i feel like hes such a sucker for singers,,)

•if ur in a nice suit, dress; whatever while ur singing, agh.. this man is knocked out. ur soo gorgeous,, and you sing?! like, sorry, wally is just in love.

•after one of your performances, once he sees you walking to him, all giddy and stuff. wally ain’t letting you go once you run into his arms, he will keep his arms around you as you just ask if he liked it, thought it was great,, while he’s just nodding and mumbling praises to you. (it’s honestly so sweet to watch you two.) if ur wearing heels or boots, you’re probably towering over him as this happens,, (i honestly find this so sweet, ur jus towering over him, asking him excitedly if he loved it, while he’s just practically sings praises to you. so sweet,,)

•to pick up the instrument part, he will totally help you with demos and drafts by playing the music for you. he’s pretty average on most instruments and would totally drop whatever he had and help you out! (will def help you out with drums, i think its canon that its his main thing,,)

•sing him to sleep, please,, he will eat that up. if you do, he’ll sleep so fast. as said before by me, i don’t think he sleeps much. but with ur singing? knocked out, my brother is dead asleep. what can he say? you’re just a good singer.

•honestly to him, ur like a siren. you’re just too good to be true and sing beautifully. corny he knows but,,, its true <3 (to him.)

•even house loves your singing! if wally needed the help he would call you and try to make house stop with ur singing,,

•the first time he’s ever heard you sing, his mind was blown. how did you sing that good? like all of his other friends could sing,, but you were just different. you sounded different, did things differently.. ack. he fell in love with your voice. as he listened to one of ur song’s for the first time, and ur just anxious. wondering if he’ll like it, or not.. he turns to you. blank stare, and says, “this is the best music i’ve ever heard,, ur so talented..” with just pure adoration and fondness in his eyes.

•which got you SO HAPPY, he loved your songs!!!! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

•sometimes if he feels a bit snarky that day, he’ll brag a bit. just all like, “my s/o is a beautiful singer,, can YOU sing that good? they’re so amazing at what they do, no one can compare…” wally is sometimes a bit of a prick (╥_╥)

•never a prick to you tho, said it before i’ll say it again, to him you do no wrong, see no wrong, hear no wrong, speak no wrong. 🫶

•he makes sure you know that you’ll always be in his corner, all of the time, being ur numba one fangirl! (✯◡✯)

•wally definitely tried making a song for you too,, didn’t go right tho. (٥⁀▽⁀ )

(seriously this dude is crazed over you.)

•you always make sure he’s the first one to hear your songs, after writing a draft you sprint to him and show him it. it makes him so excited too, cause like.. how did he get so lucky that he’s the first person to look and hear your talent?

•this dude just adores you, so much.. like what’s not to love? to him you’re just the peak definition of passion, he enjoys watching you have fun and play music. wally is sorta taking this into seriousness,, but he can’t help it!! he can’t get over how he bagged you, this person who’s a whole peak of inspiration for him. ❤︎︎

•he just loves to support and cherish you, i won’t lie but he’s basically a lovestruck puppy who watches you and everything you do. everyone in the neighborhood can tell.. (¯ ³¯)♡

__________

ACK,, okay i got a bit carried away on some points, but they were jus too cute to not put in.

BUT 1000 NOTES ON EACH OF MY FICSSs?!?! thats insane, thank you guys sm!! (╥_╥) i didn’t think i would get that much positive feedback for these, im rlly glad you guys are liking these!

hope you enjoyed reading this one! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

[katsu28]

🍭 “I love you.” “You do?” with jj maybank :)

i haven't written for this himbo in a hot minute, so thank you for this anna baby!!! pls enjoy pining jj <33

jj maybank x reader, short lil best friends to lovers + love confession, 1.6k

“Holy shit, he’s here and I’m not ready yet! J, go stall for time!” You exclaimed, angling your head towards your bedroom, where JJ had been camped out on your bed for hours now, having been the poor soul relegated to help you choose an outfit for your date tonight. The doorbell had just rung whilst you were in the middle of doing your makeup, nearly sending you into a frenzy. 

“Got it!” He yelled back, heaving himself to his feet and stomping down the hall to answer the door, albeit a bit begrudgingly.

There was nothing he wanted to do less than make small talk with yet another guy that wasn’t him taking you on a date. But you asked, and JJ always did what you asked. It came with the territory of being head over heels in love with your best friend. 

He plastered a neutral look on his face, pulling open the front door only to be met with some dude who he vaguely recognized as being one of Sarah’s slightly less stuck up Kook friends—Preston who the fuck knows what. Probably some fancy ass last name like Berkeshire. Harrington. Vanderbilt. Something hyphenated, or with a Jr. or II tacked on the end of it. 

Preston something or other looked a bit surprised to see him standing on the other side of the door but recovered quickly, guy nodding at him suavely. “Hey man. Is Y/N here?” 

“She’s almost ready.” JJ replied, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms. Preston nodded again, shifting on his feet. He looked nervous, JJ noticed. Good. Then he noticed the bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand. “Carnations, huh?” 

“Yeah, you think she’ll like them?” He straightened the cellophane surrounding them, tucking a stray leaf back into the bunch. 

“Oh, totally.” JJ was being one hundred percent sarcastic, but Preston didn’t know that. If he really knew you at all, he would know that you hated carnations. That you thought they were tacky and too bright. And if JJ wanted to be a good guy, he’d tell Preston before he made the wrong impression on you. But he wasn’t going to. He knew he probably should, but he wasn’t going to. Call him selfish. “So tell me, Preston, what’s the agenda for tonight? Where are y’all going?” 

“Uh, nowhere special. Dinner at that new bistro on Main and maybe a walk around town afterward.” Preston chuckled awkwardly, licking his lips. 

Damn it. That was actually a really good date idea. 

“Preston, hi!” You interjected breathlessly, rushing past JJ to give the other boy a brief hug. “Sorry to keep you waiting, I hope this one didn’t tell you too many embarrassing stories about me.” 

“I would never.” JJ mock gasped, pressing a hand against his chest. 

“Yes, you would.” 

“Alright, maybe I would.” He shrugged. “Anyways, whatever! Get outta here, kids, go have fun. Not too much fun though, Preston my man! No funny business, have her home by eleven, yadda yadda.” 

“Bye, J. Try not to burn down the house while I’m gone.” 

“I’ll try my best.” He saluted you, ignoring the warmth in his chest when you rolled your eyes playfully at him. Then you were gone, leaving JJ alone. 

He did admit, he worked himself up a little too much waiting for you to come home. Maybe he almost paced a hole in the floor just thinking about what could happen if this date actually went well. He could see it now, ten, fifteen years into the future—you were a Figure 8 trophy wife with two kids who looked annoyingly just like Preston, and JJ was still here on the southside, hopelessly in love with his happily married, Kook-converted best friend. 

Okay, maybe he was overreacting a little bit, but he couldn’t help it. Nothing he did seemed to quell the thoughts ping-ponging around in his brain; all he could do was wait for you to come home and tell him everything, like you always did. 

-------

He straightened up the second he heard your key twisting in the lock, swinging his legs down to the floor from where they’d previously been hooked over the back of the sofa. Play it cool, bro. 

“That’s it!” You huffed, throwing open the front door and traipsing inside, kicking off your shoes before flopping down next to him rather dramatically. “I’m calling it now! I’m never gonna find anyone!” 

JJ thumped your forehead from where your head had landed in his lap upon landing. “I take it the date didn’t go well?”

“That would be the understatement of a century.” 

“Well, I didn’t like him anyways, so.” You squinted up at him, frowning. “What? He got you carnations, Y/N. You hate carnations.” 

“Yeah, but I didn’t hate Preston. He seemed nice, but the whole night, he was just…off, I dunno.” You sighed, waving a vague hand. “It was weird, I saw him this morning and he said he was excited, but when he came here it was like his whole vibe changed.” Part of that was probably his interaction with JJ, but the blond boy held his tongue. You sat up, angling yourself to face him with furrowed brows. “What did you say to him when he got here earlier?”

“Me? I didn’t say shit, I was just sussin’ him out. Simply exercising my duty as best friend.” 

“Bullshit, you were probably sabotaging me!” Grabbing a pillow, you shoved your face into it, letting out a strangled groan. JJ patted your leg soothingly (he hoped), lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s whatever though. I don’t care anymore. I’m just never gonna find love in this lifetime.” 

“Hey, don’t say that,” He chided, easing the pillow away from your face. “That’s not true. You’ll find love.” With me, he wanted to add. He didn’t. 

“Thanks, J. But I don’t…I really don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but it just feels like everytime I think ‘wow, this could be the time’, it just doesn’t work out.” You mumbled, picking at a loose thread at the hem of your shirt. “Makes me think that maybe it’s me, maybe I’m just unlovable.” 

And that—you thinking that you were unlovable when JJ had loved you all his life—that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.��

“I love you.” He blurted, brows furrowing. 

Your breath caught in your chest, and you hesitated a second. “You do?” 

“Fuck—yeah. Yeah, I do. ‘Course I do.” He sighed, dragging a hand through his already unruly hair, causing it to spring back in every which way. “How could I not?” 

“Since when?” 

“Are you kidding me? Since forever, Y/N. Honestly, probably since the first day we met, back when we were what, seven? You told me you liked my hair. Said it reminded you of gold, then you shared your fruit snacks with me. And that,” JJ chuckled, shaking his head, “that stuck with me, ever since then.” 

“I remember.” You said softly, the memory bringing a small smile to your face. You’d met JJ on the first day of second grade, and it seemed like you’d just been attached at the hip ever since. He knew everything about you, you knew everything about him—except for the fact that he’d been in love with you ever since.

So really, maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did. 

“I can see the gears turning in your head right now.” He bumped his knuckles against your knee, ducking to meet your gaze. “You don’t have to say anything right now, I know it’s—it’s probably hard to take in. But it’s the truth. You were never unloveable, Y/N, you’re fucking perfect. You just…hadn’t found the right guy to love yet. And it might not be me, but I just needed you to know that you’re not doing anything wrong. Those guys are just fucking stupid if they didn’t see what I see in you. What I’ve always seen.”

You didn’t respond, instead just leaning forward and taking his face in your hands and pressing your lips against his, kissing him before you chickened out. If JJ was surprised he masked it well, only taking less than a beat to react. He reached out blindly, hands finding your waist to pull you onto his lap as he kissed you back eagerly. 

“That was—what was that?” He breathed, pink lips parted and now shiny with your lipgloss, eyes bluer than the summer sky gazing wide right at you. 

“Wanted to see if it felt right.” You whispered.

His chest rose and fell, pushing against yours with every deep breath he took in an attempt to keep calm despite his electric nerves. “And did it?” 

“It did.” You confirmed with a nod, a small grin stretching your lips. 

Everything was making sense now, like pieces slotting into a lifelong puzzle. The reason you were having such a hard time finding someone to love and someone to love you was because the person you needed and didn’t realize you wanted had been right in front of you for years, and you’d been too blind to see it all this time. But you saw it now. 

You saw JJ now, and nothing had been clearer. 

“I love you, J.” 

JJ’s eyes fluttered shut almost blissfully, head lolling back against the couch cushions. “Shit, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.” He gave your waist a quick squeeze before letting his hand come up to give himself a light slap on the cheek. 

“What’re you doing?” You giggled, tugging his hand away from his face. 

“Making sure this isn’t another one of my dreams.” 

Your brows lifted teasingly. “You dream about me?” 

“All the fucking time, sweetheart.” His fingers traced the inside of your wrist, basking in the feeling of your soft skin warm against his, the view of you sitting on top of him looking like the epitome of beauty. He’d imagined this moment countless times, but never once did he think it would ever become a reality. 

“And how do those dreams usually end?” 

JJ smirked, eyes now gleaming with mischief. “You want me to show you?”

[majimasleftasscheek]

Have you played Yakuza 6 yet? If so ya got any kazumaji head canons based off the events of the game?

I absolutely love your ideas for them and I am beyond upset that Majima was barley in the game. Or even mentioned that much.

They did the boi dirty in this game, I swear.

*clenches my ass hard enough to shit diamonds*

oh I have OPINIONS about 6 I'll tell you that but it is good fodder for the kazumaji agenda 👀 I'mma be kinda rambly in this but I promise it all ties together kdjfjkldfkldf

so we all know Kiryu goes off to find Haruka and because I'm a big fan of dadjima, I can only imagine Kiryu lets him know while he's stuck in jail and Majima's just like WHAT

so Kiryu does a lot of self reflection but acting upon it is another matter. I can see Majima chastising him, saying she ran away cuz that's all Kiryu ever does (part of him is still pissy about him leaving in y3) and she's never had a healthy role model other than the king of hypocrisy. Kiryu would go on about how it's just to protect people yada yada but Majima would be like my guy, you left a bunch of kids in the care of your daughter who should not be parenting for you. you refuse any and all help because you think you can do it all on your own. you left me with Daigo who you said I wouldn't be babysitting AND YET—

I just want Majima to absolutely rail into him about how self serving he's acted despite better intentions. like of course Haruka ran away, look how much pressure she was under, what she went through in the idol bizz (maybe I'm a loser but I did not like Haruka's part in y5 that shit icked me), what you (Kiryu) do every time you feel like a burden to people. how naïve it was to think any part of Kiryu's past would leave him behind just because he wanted it to. how his lone wolf thing impedes on everybody else. how in 5 he literally says he needs to stop running from his past and he does it anyway. this game FRUSTRATES ME rrhrrhhrhrr KIRYU FRUSTRATES ME ACK. but also I have a thing for Majima just being angry at him, to actually lash out and spew all those feelings of being left behind or being refused to let help because Kiryu's stubborn. how he let himself be used all those years to help Kiryu out just because he asked and now once again Kiryu's off on his own, never changing his tune about how he doesn't wanna rely on people. Majima's not perfect either and frankly he communicates like shit too but I just want that RAGE to get out and explore how Kiryu would hear him but never listen. makes it all the more tragic when he finds out Kiryu "died."

*tho I must note, as much as it does irritate me, 6 makes sense entirely for Kiryu's character lol. nothing he does in it surprises me in the slightest so while I'm not a fan of the story, it's pretty fitting for him since he's the downfall of his own story half the time. and it's not so simple as just saying Kiryu's to blame. he's constantly forced to deal with shit just as much as he wants to be left alone. he struggles and he tries hard I'll give him that. I don't think he's a bad person for what he aimed to do in 6 but he's not infallible either. and sometimes it's just par for the course. like how he makes the compromise at the end of the game to disappear so his family can be at peace all the while in his history, he's had major problems doing what he's told - never truly disappearing anyway, going about whatever's gonna happen in gaiden. could you imagine if Haruka caught wind that some resting bitch face motherfucker is beating the shit outta armies somewhere? could you imagine her finding out that Kiryu left again?

honestly I think his character is really interesting cuz of this. he has good intentions and I feel like to him there's some expectation that people should understand this, that people should accept his choices. I think it's fun to explore how others react to that - how it's in a way offensive, that Kiryu thinks he knows what's best and how to handle it as if he has all the power and say. how pissed people feel about him shoving them away for the sake of their safety, etc. I don't think he'd listen to Majima tbh but I think it's important that someone unafraid of Kiryu's dumbassery would lay it out how it is to him in a way that cuts, more so than Haruka, Date or like Akiyama could.

ANYWAY, Majima's mad at him lol but can't really do anything atm due to the surrounding circumstances. I like to think he's got some of the Majima family watching out for Kiryu and Haruka if they happened to see them. Nishida at least cuz ain't no one gonna arrest a cutie patootie like him. it's not much but it's a little peace of mind. Majima knows Kiryu's reckless as all hell so he's worried and doubly annoyed that Kiryu doesn't care (about his own safety or that other people are concerned for him).

so since Majima has a fat 5 minutes in the whole game, there's not much to say about his involvement overall (other than oopsie stuck in jail) but I've had some thoughts about what all the jimas³ are doing in the meantime.

all the jimas are grouped together because I said so even tho realistically they'd prolly be separated lol. Daigo and Saejima are handling things well enough but Majima's bouncing off the walls in boredom and nothing irks him more than being stuck in one spot while Kiryu's out probably getting hit over the head with a stop sign and refusing medical attention. Daigo's losing his mind but he can agree Kiryu's bullheaded and talking about that keeps Majima distracted. Saejima does his part in trying to get Majima's mind off things now that they have all the time in the world to catch up on whatever.

time passes and I'm rewriting the part in 6 where they show up at the end cuz I live in a fantasy world.

Kiryu "dies" and suddenly the three of them are released early, no doubt knowing his death had something to do with it. Daigo gets Kiryu's letter and Majima makes some joke about Kiryu's literacy but a quick scan of the letter makes Daigo's face drop. he reads it and Majima doesn't think it's real. he doesn't know how to feel. even Saejima is in disbelief. but the letter is vague. it's conjecture written by Kiryu of his own death so there's a chance he's fine. Kiryu's fine, he's always fine. he's been shot and stabbed a million times, he's fine.

but it's not long till it's confirmed by Date. Daigo's skeptical cuz his inner punkass doesn't trust cops. Saejima's on the same page but Majima's in full denial whilst also believing it to be true. his reaction is immediate and violent. he wants something to be done, he wants revenge but Daigo wants to follow Kiryu's wish to avoid war. Majima's so outraged he frankly couldn't give less of a shit about Kiryu's wishes so it's up to Saejima to wrangle him back *insert a dramatic fight here.* Majima gets his ass beat and he's just a mess. things move fast though - the fate of the clan is up in the air and he just couldn't care. but Daigo needs him and for that he pulls it together, just barely.

fast forward to when the jimas go into hiding. they get set up in a lil safehouse via Nick Ogata. I like to see it as a basic bitch type of place, very out of the way, very ignorable but the inside is nice enough. they have to stay cooped up as much as possible and it drives Majima insane. he's fidgety, always pacing. Saejima tries to calm him down and it works for a time until Majima falls into another slump and repeats.

they took a few things with them that they could, mostly small stuff, some clothes and the like. Majima brought along a few of Kiryu's things, namely some pocket cars and a shirt. he wears it often, being very against washing it. Daigo's too stressed to notice but Saejima watches Majima just break down into someone he doesn't know. he's tired, closed off, guilt ridden. Saejima starts to think this is who Majima was after getting out of the Hole. a shell of a person taking blame for things out of his control. losing the will to care for himself as some sort of self imposed punishment for not doing more. seething in silence in the powerlessness.

his beard grows scraggly, his hair is unkept and the circles under his eye grows darker everyday. his behavior mimics his Sotenbori days where everything was for Saejima, all he could think about was Saejima, how he failed him, how if he tried hard enough he could see him again. it's not the case with Kiryu though. he didn't even get to see the body himself.

he's always on his phone reliving memories through photos and conversations. he freaks out when anyone touches the pocket cars and eventually the shirt gets worn out. he's spiraling while the others look on, unsure how to deal with someone whose entire personality revolves around having a fake one.

Saejima takes initiative. maybe he's seen Majima like this before or maybe he hasn't. doesn't matter because he gives Majima a bit of tough love, telling him to get a grip. telling him that Kiryu wouldn't want to see him like this and, under his breath, he needs him in better shape so they can beat the shit outta whoever was responsible. it's not easy of course. it takes Majima awhile to learn how to live again and frankly he doesn't want to talk about Kiryu but Saejima forces him to - to get comfortable with mentioning him, enjoying the memories they had. letting him know it's okay to be vulnerable. it's not a kind or pleasant recovery but it's there. it's helping.

and perhaps some time under supervision, he goes to see Haruka and meets Haruto for the first time. he tries to keep a strong façade for her but she can see right through him and gets one of those rare moments where he's just quiet. where he's real. she catches him up on things and it's a rough one for the both of them, especially since he has to keep the visit short. she doesn't bother asking him where he's going afterward but he promises to keep in touch and that he does. she sends him a lot of photos and videos of the family and he backseat-parents Yuta whenever possible. Haruka's never been a fan of always having Kiryu at arms length but this arrangement helps her deal with the long distance since there's effort on both ends to stay close.

Majima's not used to having others around to help him cope but he eases into it decently enough without the Tojo Clan on his shoulders. he even gets along better with Daigo who has time now to focus more on himself and the grunge within his soul. he's a silly lil dork and that charm reminds him of Kiryu but in a way that doesn't send him spiraling. he starts to see all reminders of Kiryu in a more hopeful light, one that brings back his energy. for most of their home confinement, Majima wouldn't even go out as Goromi since half his confidence came from Kiryu's support. but now and then, with Saejima and Daigo backing him, he can tiptoe a bit back into his fav dresses, ones that Kiryu gave him, ones that hurt to put on because of the baggage they carry. he doesn't even have his wigs anymore so he assembles what he can, how he can into something he knows Kiryu would have called pretty regardless. it stills hurts but it helps.

but, he'll always dip back into the pain of it all. missing intimacy and things taken for granted. he regrets his last words with Kiryu were criticisms knowing he's not perfect himself. maybe he's faced with realizations that he can't survive without certain people, that his attachment issues are brought to the forefront for everyone to see. it's ugly and embarrassing and for the first time in a long time he feels very seen. death's always been a reality for him and he's never cared much for it in regards to himself but losing someone so close, so suddenly? without closure or goodbyes? he's forced to deal with the frailty and mortality of someone he thought was invincible.

and it scares him.

[teecupangel]

Just binge watched Lucifer on Netflix and now I present to you:

Desmond Miles survives 2012 (Desmond Miles Lives truthers, where ya at?), gets the hell outta dodge from the temple with new POE powers, and gets hired to work at Lux in LA. Meets his new boss and both of them are like, "!"

Lucifer instantly knows this boy is hella special because, damn does his soul reek of Isu Bullfuckery. (Headcanoned God and his Angels are sort of a rival interdimensional species to Isu, and God is the one who supposedly gave humans free will... idk I never paid attention to bible study anyway.)

Does the whole, "what do you desire?" schtick and Desmond, due to POE powers and Isu Bullshittery, wonders 'why the fuck is actual Satan here in LA?'

I imagine a platonic bromance relationship between these two. Y'know? 'Cause on the one hand we have the Reluctant Ruler of Hell and on the other hand the Reluctant Savior/Sacrificial Lamb of Humankind.

Lucifer could offer safety and protection from whoever Desmond is hiding from, while Des can be his bartender/bouncer/very much-needed BFF. And come on, I betcha good ole Lucy boy (and Maze) would absolutely enjoy dragging a couple a lot of Abstergo people Vidic down to Hell for multiple crimes against humanity(i.e. kidnapping and unethical human experimentation which results in mental instability.)

I’m all in for this idea. Desmond and Lucifer being bash brothers, yes please. Just imagine the chaos these two would get to because they're both morally dubious? XD

Also, just imagine how much faster Chloe would be finishing her cases with Desmond’s Eagle Vision? She would have two cheat codes with her this time.

Anyway, I’m going to focus on how we can integrate Lucifer into AC more in this one.

Before anything, just a sorta fun trivia: Lucifer has a little cameo in Crisis on Infinite Earths and he talks to John Constantine, implying they have some sort of history together. John Constantine is played by Matt Ryan who voiced and mocap’ed Edward Kenway XD

We will be keeping this contained to Lucifer though but you can totally add a John Constantine cameo and set it during the time Desmond is working in Lux (and you can totally add Desmond feeling some sort of longing and sorrow because John Constantine sounds and looks familiar to his Bleed of Haytham Kenway)

Alright, with that little trivia out of my system, let’s talk about how we can push Lucifer into AC canon.

(You might not have paid attention to bible study but my religion teacher was so boring he had to implement a rule that there should be no other notebook/books related to other subjects on our table during class because we kept doing other subjects when he’s lecturing us soooooo I was bored enough to read the bible he made us bring every class. I'm sure he'll be proud I'm using what I learned in his class for fic related things XD)

Let’s talk about God in Lucifer’s show. He’s obviously based on the Judeo-Christian God. Now, we have no confirmation if that said God does exist as an Isu in Assassin’s Creed BUT we do have a leeway we can use to make it easier to integrate the characters from Lucifer into Assassin’s Creed.

The Templar Order uses the phrase “May the Father of Understanding guide you”. Now, this is based on the Isu triad that pops up a bit.

The one we’re more familiar with is the Capitoline Triad where Tinia is known as the “Father of Understanding”.

However, there is an earlier iteration of this triad.

The Isus who created humans.

And the one to hold the title of ‘Father of Understanding’ during that time is Yaldabaoth.

From Wikipedia

Gnosticism presents a distinction between the highest, unknowable God, and the Demiurge, "creator" of the material universe.

Gnostic Christians considered the Hebrew God of the Old Testament as the evil, false god and creator of the material universe, and the Unknown God of the Gospel, the father of Jesus Christ and creator of the spiritual world, as the true, good God.

If we use the statements above and the fact that Yaldabaoth is considered one of the creators of mankind, we can set up God as another Isu scientist who had an alternate idea of a workforce but his idea was pushed aside and Yaldabaoth’s project with the other two Isu scientists moved forward.

God, in anger, created his ‘children’ together with the Goddess. And, to complete the triad, we’ll add Lilith as an Isu as well instead of Adam’s first wife. The three of them (although Lilith has a more advisory role to this entire thing and is actually working on her own workforce idea) created the ‘Angels’, trying to one-up all the data they could get from Yaldabaoth’s project to make them better than humans.

They are. Unfortunately, that meant they were also… shall we say… ‘freer’ than humans as well. God knew that the Isus would see them as defective and, not only that, many would find what they have done as some form of betrayal and being stripped of their rank and status would be the lightest sentence the Isu would give them. So God and Goddess kept the Angels a secret, and passed them off as human slaves while Lilith went her merry way and continued to work on her personal workforce.

And now we come to the whole ‘gave mankind freewill’.

So many like to point at Lucifer as being the serpent that gave Eve the forbidden fruit. Let’s use it. Lucifer, being one of God’s first children, takes an Apple of Eden and presented it to Eve who used it to start the Human-Isu war. Lucifer takes up arms to join the humans.

Things get super messy when they find out about the impending Solar Flare and God and Goddess decided to add their consciousness to a device called ‘Heaven’. (In this setup, Goddess!Charlotte would be like a more ‘questionable’ setup of an Isu consciousness overwriting a human’s consciousness). Their children (who did have the kind of body that would survive a solar flare and were more or less immortal) were tasked with guarding ‘Heaven’.

Except Lucifer who, as punishment for starting the whole Human-Isu war, was tasked to guard a device called ‘Hell’. He guarded it together with Lilith’s ‘children’, the demons.

What these two devices do will be a mystery but they are connected to the Gray in some way and to the Calculations. Perhaps it’s even the actual database of all the Calculations and, by that very definition, it housed all the knowledge, memories and emotions of every living thing in the world.

What defines them as a person.

What defines their soul.

And, from there, we can just integrate all Celestial things in the show as this entirely more advanced workforce’s ‘code words’. (And the devices are connected and that’s why God could boot the Goddess into hell)

By the time 2013 rolls around, Lucifer already owned Lux for a few years now and Desmond applies as a bartender as he’s had enough of all these Assassin-Templar BS to last him a lifetime. He saved the world, this is his damn retirement plan.

Lucifer sees him and goes ‘how interesting, an actual human-POE hybrid.’ while Desmond sees him and goes ‘why does he feel… familiar?’ because his Isu genes and POE-hybridness is giving him signals that Lucifer is definitely not human BUT he ain’t an Isu too.

He’s… Isu-adjacent.

Like Maze.

So Desmond continues to work there and Lucifer finds the perfect time to do the whole “what do you desire?” and Desmond’s POE-hybridness just kicked in.

We’ll make it in this fic that all the Apples are connected to one another and they have a ‘shared memory space’ so Desmond ‘remembers’ that this is the smug bastard who gave the Apple to Eve.

And, because of his limited knowledge of religion, he goes “Why the fuck is actual Satan here in LA?!”

(side note: some count Satan and Lucifer as two different beings but, in this case, we’ll just make Satan another name for Lucifer)

So now they both showed their hands. Lucifer just blatantly showed he wasn’t human and Desmond just showed he has Isu-related knowledge.

Cue an entire night of trying to get drunk while talking about what the fuck happened to them (with special mention to their daddy issues and the whole reluctant ruler of hell and the ‘more-or-less pushed into it’ savior/sacrifice)

At the end of their heart-to-heart, Desmond becomes Lucifer’s main confidant and slowly becomes his BFF. Lucifer uses his mojos to keep Desmond hidden from both Assassins and Templars.

Also… it’s not just Abstergo’s that in his shitlist. William Miles is there as well, that’s for damn sure.

Another subplot we can add is that Lucifer ‘asking’ Chloe to look into Abstergo just so he can, you know… ask them… what they desire?

Other unorganized notes:

What do we do with Juno? I set it to 2013 so Desmond dealt with Juno before peacing out to be a random bartender. Hey, if Ubisoft can do it in the comics, we can take out Juno with one paragraph… maybe even one sentence.

Desmond could see through Maze’s shapeshifting. Whenever he uses Eagle Vision, he sees Maze’s true form.

Actually, Desmond’s Eagle Vision has been powered up by his POE-hybridness that he sees EVERYONE’s true form. His only description of Lucifer’s form? “Bright as fuck.” (this also means Desmond knows Michael by 'sight')

Also, Amenadiel? He looovvveess Desmond’s Shirley Templars.

Lucifer’s deals? He has a connection to Hell and, because of that connection, he’s connected to the Calculations as well. In this case, any deal he makes impacts the Calculations slightly so the person making the deal would get what they want.

Also, this:

[urlocallesbiabs-reblog-sideblog]

so, i remember seeing a red dwarf tumblr post about how if you leave your universe, it's almost impossible to go back, because there's trillions upon trillions of them, and every minute decision branches off a new one

so what if our original rimmer spent maybe a few months genuinely being ace and enjoying the hero status, then decided it's too dangerous and scary and tiresome and wanted to go home, and spent the entirety of those nine years (between s7 and s9) looking for his home universe?

and he kept saving people along the way of course, ace duty is ace duty (half of those heroic acts were accidents anyway), but his heart wasn't in it anymore; he's found many a universe where there were still people, where he could theoretically fit in and settle and live as close to a normal life as he could hope for, but he could never stay for long, he longed for *his* home, for lister, *his* lister

and wise people told him "you'll never get there. there are too many universes, and every day that you wake up and make a choice to continue looking for home, that choice creates a new one, setting you back. you're dooming yourself.", and he answered "shut up, you stupid goit, you don't get it! get smegged to hell!"

and i imagine a scene:

it's close to the end of the 9 year gap, kochanski's already gone, lister's Not Doing Well, and it's another monster-of-the-week life-or-death situation aboard the red dwarf, a particularly nasty one: all is shit, end is near, how will our heroes get out of *this one!* this is probably it! this is it! they're all gonna smegging die! and then outta nowhere ace pops out, hair billowing in the air and all, shoots some bullets that bullshitly ricochet and perform miracles, and saves the day

after that he asks to spend the night there, because even heroes need to sleep a bit, and of course he's welcome!!

lister doesn't quite know how to approach the subject, so he goes for subtle bordering on undecipherable: asks how long has it been since this ace got the flame passed on to him? what was it like? ace deflects with a charming non-answer and a fun adventure story, and lister thinks well, that's not him, then. must be a new one. that means that his rimmer passed on the flame, that he... died.

lister doesn't know how to process the idea, so he doesn't.

he tries to stick around and listen to the stories that's gotten kryten (and even cat, a little bit!) enthralled, but quickly grows bored and goes off to wander the ship and entertain himself on his own. at some point few hours later, he notices ace out and about as well, measuring doorways with tape, comparing wall paint with color swatches, counting the rooms and making notes in his little notebook; ace doesn't notice him. kinda sketchy behaviour, lister thinks, but doesn't confront him just yet. who knows, maybe the guy just went a little bit space crazy, maybe he's preparing for some impending disaster; would be rude to accuse him of nothing, wouldn't it?

as lister returns to his quarters in the evening, he sees ace briskily walking out from about the same corridor that lister is headed to, throwing him a shining, but somewhat strained smile; ace is going to the room he's claimed for the night, which is on the officer's deck, literally on the other side of the ship (makes sense to lister that he doesn't share the room with him, since this isn't really his bunkmate. smeg knows him, maybe in his universe he actually was an officer and slept alone, not like lister cares). this feels *really* sketchy, but none of lister's things seem to have been messed with on closer inspection, so he can't really prove shit. he feels kind of paranoid, but also tired, and decides he'll talk to ace in the morning.

lister sleeps badly and fitfully, and wakes up in the middle of the night. he can't fall asleep again, and decides to go and grab a bite; maybe visit krissie in the observatory, watch stars together, have some time for himself.

the lights are on in the drive room. ace is there, talking to– *interrogating* holly and kryten, swiveling on a chair back and forth to face either of them, whisper-barking rapid-fire questions; lister is Alarmed (what is this? mutiny? a hostage situation? a threat?), so naturally he hides and eavesdrops.

ace runs them through a bunch of questions that vary wildly in immediately obvious importance, seemingly nonsensical (what fuel does this ship run on? when did the leak happen? who was assigned to fix it? how many irradiated haggies were in the ship's hold at the moment of disaster? has lister ever passed an officer's exam? on what day and what ship did they find kryten? and so on and so forth), growing more and more agitated and focused, determination so passionate it's almost angry. at last, he takes a deep breath, clenches fists, and says "now, i did notice this ship's crew lacks a usual, i'd say indespensable member, namely one arnold judas rimmer. where, pray tell, did you put the bugger?"

"arnold died in 3,002,386 from a vending machine related incident, arnold," says holly.

ace's face falls, and he laughs like someone died. "ah, of course it's like that, of course. it's always like that. well, good chat, gentlemen, thank you for humoring me." he gets up, even though it obvious his legs are weak.

noticing his distress at the information, kryten hurries to clarify, "it was the second one, though! the first one died a few months before that!"

ace falls back into the chair. "what do you *mean* the second one?!"

"the one my nanobots ressurected!" kryten clarifies with mostly pride, partially guilt.

"what smegging nanobots? what on io has happened here?" ace rimmer has to forcibly hold his horses, pulling a palm down his face. "no, forget it, doesn't matter, not right now. the other one, the first one — how did *he* die?"

"well, physically it was the cadmium 2 leak in 2181" holly helpfully explains. ace rimmer makes a dying groan. "but his hologram form was destroyed by an escaped knight from an AR camelot game."

the man perks up. "was me — well no, not exactly me, but — ugh, was ace rimmer there?.."

they confirm that yes, even though he left soon after. rimmer goes slack in his chair and puts a hand over his eyes. "so this is it?" he whispers. "so many years, and... this is it. i'm here. i can't believe it."

after a minute in weird silence, he gets up and staggers out.

lister's a few paces down the corridor, having been unsettled by the exhange and made the decision to leave.

rimmer calls out to him, loudly, with intense gravitas, "lister!"

"rimmer," he responds, shocked and disbeliving, eyes open.

"lister!" he exclaims urgently, desperately.

"you're my rimmer, aren't ya," lister states a question, incredulous.

"of course i'm yours, you stupid git!" rimmer cries out and lunges at him, crushing him in a hug. "you gimboid, you imbecile, you smeg for brains smeghead," he chatters on, out of breath, cradling him.

"i've missed ya," lister sobs. rimmer doesn’t manage to respond, only hugs him even harder.

(rimmer didn’t want to throw himself at the guy until he'd made sure it's *his* guy, didn't want to make himself vulnerable only to later make a fool of himself; too many times he let himself hope and get drunk on that hope and then had his stupid heart broken by some tiny little thing being off, inviting a flood of other little things, suddenly finding himself in an embrace with a stranger wearing his best friend's face. he just couldn't bear it anymore, not again. he needed to make sure first.)

however, this headcanon poses a problem of reconciling this with late series rimmer claiming to have saved red dwarf from the corrosive virus back then. because if our rimmer only returned during the 9 year gap (closer to end of it), he couldn't have been there at the end of s8, right?

to which i propose this: the alternative ending to "only the young" is canon, and it was nanobot rimmer who saved (or rather tried to save) the day; then he was killed by a rouge vending machine. they couldn't bring him back as a hologram though, because the holo-suite was heavily damaged by the corrosion virus and they didn't have the intricate spare parts needed to fix it. so, his memory disk stayed unused, carefully kept in the hopes of someday fixing the holo-suite (never found a suitable derelict though, not with their shit luck). then our rimmer came along, learned of the entire situation, fixed the suite using details taken from wildfire, and asked holly to merge the info from this disc onto his (because for smeg's sake, it's at least 1 year out of those hellish 9 that he can remember having spent home; he can Not pass it up). the merge was successful, but majorly jittered his vibes (since he remembered two different versions of being 32, and in one of them lister was 8 years older than in the other, and he became aware that in the same year as he was 32 for the second time he also was 40 and in another universe) and gave him lifelong memory issues. he's still happy as a clam about the result, though!

that's why other's disagree when he claims having saved the day back then — he figures that if he has that guy's memories, he *is* that guy, because that's how holograms work, but others want to argue that the alive nanobot rimmer technically wasn't exactly him; you Don't wanna be there for all of the smeg-throwing that occurs during the argument.

it all could be a fake episode (or maybe a fake two-episode special), where the first half's main gag/storyline would be lister slowly growing convinced that ace is actually evil and is in the process of brewing some Sinister Plans, and the second would be about rimmer going peculiar from the merge and randomly glitching between various remembered stages of his life (thinking he's still ace and this is isn't his lister; thinking he's nanobot rimmer and wondering what happened to the crew; a throwback to an early episode or two; thinking he's a fresh hopeful enlist on red dwarf [kinda painful in a hindsight way, but also pathetic and hilarious]; thinking he's a small child [very silly and funny, mostly cute even if a bit weird because that's a grown man's body, also an epic Rimmer Trauma Lore moment as usual]; etc), to the point that lister worries they've smegging broken him and he'll never be alright, only for him to finally cope and appear sane, only to reveal last second that parts of his memory are still kinda jumbled.

i'd call that fake episode:

"H Stands For Home"

and i imagine a scene from the second half:

rimmer sees the destroyed holo-suite (god, i really can't leave you bastards alone even for a day, let alone a decade), and finds the memory disc for the other him (wait, what is this? i clearly remember taking mine with me when i left...), and gets filled in on the whole nanobots, ressurected rimmer, corrosive virus debacle (he needs to sit down.)

naturally, he decides to fix the hologram-projecting hardware (obvious turn of events) and merge the discs' data together (man, what??)

he pops out, promises to be back in a jiffie, and returns from the hangar with a bunch of circut boards, unconneted wires and the likes, immediately getting to work

"whatcha doing?" lister asks, clearly entertained but also genuinely curious

"having a smegging picnic, what does it look like?!"

"...can you fix it, though?"

"i've serviced my own ship for a decade straight, i've prevented all kinds of disasters on dozens of red dwarves, i've saved countless city-states from technological ruin, of course i'm perfectly capable of fixing this ship's holo-suite!" (this very moment, he connects something wrong and gets a shower of sparkles right to his face, which startles him and causes him to bang his head rather hard against an open latch)

when lister's done laughing, he asks "where on smeg did you even get the details? i've meant to patch it up all these years, but just... never could find 'em." (here his voice voice grows distant and sad; he had lost rimmer *twice* in one year, and it was just unfair. it just hurt.)

"good ol' baby racehorse wildfire," rimmer slaps one of the circuit boards with pride; something falls off of it. "presume it got the upgrade sometime since the original ace kicked the bucket; something needs to keep all of us holograms going."

"wait, you tore these from your ship?"

"what, was i supposed to pull them out of my arse?" rimmer is getting annoyed by the pointless conversation

"it's just... how will ya fly it, then?"

"it's still perfectly spaceworthy, i'll let you know!" rimmer preens. "sure, no more having my arse fall asleep after one week straight in the cockpit, hauling vaccine to pluto or some such (would not recommend), but i can still give it a good run as long as my lightbee's got charge! not all that different from our other off-the-ship missions — now what are you, stupid?"

"you won't be able to travel for long," lister clarifies apprehensively. "you won't be able to have your... space smeg adventure. you won't be ace."

rimmer looks up at him like he's crazy. "of course i won't be ace." he gets up, walks weirdly close to lister. "i'm not leaving. what — what did you think this was? that i'd spent all these years looking for you, for this dimension, only to have some tea and smeg right back off?!"

"...i don't know what i thought," lister admits, half-laughing and weirdly upset and relieved.

rimmer gripes him by the shoulders very, very hard. "i'm not leaving. never."

also, he wears his hair in the classic long and free ace style until the proper Reunion, then as soon as he fixes the holo-suite and hookes his projection to red dwarf he asks holly to chop it all off (he wanted to do that immediately after confirming that this is his home universe, but he was still connected to wildfire's holo-hardware and the ship's ai wouldn't let him bc ouughhh houghhh ace but your hair is So Beautiful, i simply Can Not); between the two points, he wore a tight neat ponytail to keep all his golden locks out of his smegging face, and he looked Hot doing it

***

and another thought, that isn't directly connected to this imaginary two-episode special, but still has to do with rimmer, lister, and the 9 years gap:

(though i'm not sure if it's canon to my personal headcanonverse [...i'm not even sure i've got a personal headcanonverse here. i love the idea of them getting together in early series when he's still soft-light, or later when he's hard-light and they can touch, or after the reunion, or post-tpl; too many possibilities!] because i feel like it gets rimmer off the hook of his internalized homophobia way too easy, but anyway, just imagine.)

it's rimmer's ace years, and it's not only beautiful young birds throwing themselves at him for his sexy heroics, but beautiful young studs as well; he switches many a dimension, and what happens in a reality stays in that reality, right?; he meets many a lister, some of them openly queer, some of them in a relationship (past or ongoing) with their rimmer; he sleeps the night away with some of them. long story short, 9 years of both excessive human attention and crushing loneliness are ample time to confront one's sexuality. he's still got his hangups though, so in his mind "i am gay" and "lister is my best ever friend whom i miss terribly" don't quite cross together, not immediately.

either way, he finally gets back, they have their happy reunion, and then rimmer learns while he was off adventuring, lister had a wife and a child and loved her deeply and then she died; obviously, lister still needs some space to process all that. rimmer will talk to him about his soul-search some other time (no, he doesn't feel like he'd been replaced, he's not jealous, jeez!). lister just needs some time to move on, yea? and then it'll all be back to how it used to be, just the four of them.

and then s9 happens, and lister is obsessed with getting kochanski back, and rimmer feels as insecure as in s1 but ten times worse — there's the woman who'd been by lister's side for the last decade, there's his wife, there's the love of his life, and there's, well, just some guy. there's rimmer.

he longs desperately to be the most important person in lister's life, but he just isn't, and that's driving him mad. that's what (partially, together with all his lifetime-accumulated trauma) fuels his tpl insistence that nobody aboard red dwarf (read: lister) likes him: he knows lister doesn't love him back, and that is killing him.

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Translation: Chikage Utsuki SSR Card “Wizard of Death” [ The Western, Northern Wizards and the Ruler of Darkness ]

Citron and Itaru are up to something again and they pull in Chikage to join in their antics.

Part 1

Izumi Chikage-san, should I prepare dinner for you tonight? Chikage Sure, I’m headed out after this but I’ll be back by evening. I’ll be here for dinner. Itaru Then, that means you’ll be back pretty early today, huh… Citron It looks like everyone is here! Izumi Huh? Citron-kun, isn’t that the script for “The Wonderful Charlatan of Oz”? Citron That it is! Itaru “The Wonderful Charlatan of Oz” well, isn’t that just nostalgic. Chikage It hasn’t been that long since I last starred in a play. Izumi But, why do you have the script on you? Citron I have felt like reading up on our past scripts just now. Then I recalled how fun it was to play the role of the Wizard of the North in the play. So, I was itching to play the role again and convincing people to join me! Chikage That explains it. Itaru Can’t deny that it was pretty fun being a wizard. Citron Reading the script now, I think about how I could have moved differently during this line. Chikage I get it, I did what I could back then, but now that I got more experience, I’m sure I can execute it better. Izumi I also have stuff I wish I’ve done better, like the staging. Itaru Now that we’re talking about it, I kinda wanna play the Wizard of the West… Citron Oh! I have finally dragged someone to act with! Itaru, do an etude with me! Itaru No problemo. Citron Chikage as well!? Chikage Sorry to disappoint, I was just on my way out. Citron Oh, how unfortunate! Then, it will be Itaru and I against the world! Let us make haste! Chikage I’ll take that as my cue to leave too. Izumi Take care, everyone!

Itaru …Phew, that’s enough etudes outta me. Citron, let’s take a break. Citron Gotcha, a break it is! Itaru Still though, it’s fun playing the villain-like Wizard of the West. Citron I as well, I like the kind and worrywart Wizard of the North that believed in Oz. It is fun to play them! Kazunari Otsupiko! Itaroon, you got a sec~? Ronron, you’re here too! Itaru What’s up? Kazunari You good with helping me out with some art paper for uni? Citron Fart vapor! Kazunari So close! It is a paper☆ Itaru Art paper… That’s perfect, actually. Kazunari Perfect how? Citron You just gave us an idea! Itaru Exactly.

Part 2

Itaru Director-san, do we have any red pens or paint? Izumi Red coloring materials…? Probably in the storage room. But, doesn’t Kazunari-kun have any paints? Itaru Oh right, I’ll go ask him about it. By the way, can you give me the go to use some pens from the storage room? Izumi All good. Citron Also, please let us use the light and smoke machine as well. Izumi Huh, smoke machine? Sure, but what for? Citron It is a secret! Itaru If Citron says so, then it’s a secret. Citron Itaru, let us go to the storage room right away! Itaru Omw. Izumi (What in the world are those two up to?)

Chikage … (I’m already in front of our room, but I have a feeling that something bad is gonna happen if I open it.) (Now, what to do…) (For now, I’ll have dinner first. Director-san must be preparing it right now.) Citron Chikage, what is up? Chikage Nah, nothing much really. Citron Just now, you have tried to run away! Chikage No way, I would never. Citron My eyes do not deceive me! *Citron grabs Chikage, to his surprise* Citron Chikage, you have nowhere to run! I got you now! Chikage Wait… *Chikage gets dragged by Citron*

Chikage This is… (A magic circle and smoke machine…? …My hunch was pretty much right on the nose.) Itaru “‘O infamous one who eats away at nations, answer my call of resurrection and come forth before me.” Citron “Halt, Wizard of the West!” Itaru “I summon you… Grosser Zatan!” Citron Stand over here, Chikage. Chikage You mean on this magic circle…? Itaru “The summoning is a success! Now the land will bow before me.” Chikage (I feel Chigasaki’s line of sight on me…) (I see… I’ve been summoned by the Wizard of the West as the one to take over the nation.) (Looks like I’ll have to go along with this…)

Part 3

Citron “Aah… It is too late… The Wizard of the West has manifested upon us a being of undeniable evil.” Itaru “Grosser Zatan, from here on out, you will assist me in ruling this land for the taking.” Chikage No can do. Citron “Wizard of the West, and Grosser Zatan, you shall not torment this land and its people any longer!” Chikage (The illusion of free will. I got no choice.) (Guess I’ll just go with these two’s etude and get it over with.) Sigh… “That is correct. I am who they call Grosser Zatan. Who dares summon me?” Itaru “It is I, yes. Lend me your strength, and we shall be the rulers of this nation.” Citron “Not as long as I am around! Grosser Zatan, return to the magic circle!” Chikage “I decide what I am to do with my power. I will not let mere wizards dictate my actions.” “Wizard of the West, for my power, what do you offer me in return?” Itaru “Fuu… It appears that you won’t help out for free.” “How interesting, that’s the Great Lord of Darkness Grosser Zatan for you.” “Very well. In exchange for your power, I offer up my soul!” Citron “You’ll not only destroy the country, but yourself if you continue on with this!” Itaru “Would love nothing more.” Citron “Wizard of the West!” Chikage “Your soul, huh… not bad at all. I might consider this deal…” Itaru Ah… Chikage …? Citron Director!? Chikage Ahh, in the flesh. How long have you been here, Director-san? Izumi Umm, I’m sorry for interrupting! I thought you heard me knock. Itaru I didn’t notice at all… Chikage Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you came actually. Izumi Eh, how come? Chikage If Director-san hadn’t come, I probably would have stayed as a summoned entity for a while.

[ Option 1: Summoned…? ]

Izumi Summoned…? Chikage Yup, I’m talking about this over here. Director-san really is a savior, if it weren’t for you I would have destroyed the nation. Izumi I… I see…?

[ Option 2: I would have wanted to see more ]

Izumi I would’ve wanted to see more. Chikage In the middle of this full-blown etude? Izumi I’m kind of edged to see whether Grosser Zatan will destroy the land or not. Chikage … Director-san, since what point were you watching from? Izumi Hehe, it’s a secret. Chikage A secret… Sigh.

Izumi The etude looked like a lotta fun though! Citron It was a lot of fun! Izumi So this is what the red pens and smoke machine were for. Itaru Sets the mood, doesn’t it? Izumi The atmosphere is perfect! I was shocked when I opened the door. I thought I just opened a portal a magical world… Chikage You’re not that far off. Izumi You know, Chikage-san pulls off such villainous roles so well. I should try talking Tsuzuru-kun into getting you in a role like that next time. Itaru He doesn’t even need to act. Chikage In exchange for giving you power, shall I wipe your face off this land? Itaru I’ll pass. Citron Join in on us, Director! Itaru Come on, let’s do it Director-san. Izumi Huh, me too!? Chikage Wait a second, you came here for something, right, Director-san? Izumi Ah, that’s right! I finished preparing Chikage-san’s meal and I wondered what was up since you weren’t in sight. That’s why I came to check up on you. Chikage Oh yeah, I asked you to warm it up. I’ll go and have dinner then. Izumi But aren’t you in the middle of an etude? Chikage The food will get cold so that’s it for the etude for now. I can just have another etude with Chigasaki and Citron any other time, so it’ll be fine. Itaru Eh, weren’t we just getting started though? Citron Are we already finished with the etude!? It is too soon~!

Story Clear!

[shaylixie]

Heated.

Word count: 2228

Genre: Angst. Smut.

Pairing: Eminem x fem!reader

Requested: Yes.

Summary: You and Marshall get into an argument, and it escalates.

Warnings / Contains: Smut; language; mention of non-consensual kissing; vvv slight blood (barely though); unprotected sex. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

A/N: First time writing smut, so brace yourselves :(( but please enjoy! <3

"Are you being serious right now?" you ask Marshall as he storms into the house and almost slams the door on you.

"You think this shit is a joke?" he snaps back, not pausing his angry strides.

You stare at him. Normally you would understand this kind of reaction. Expect it. Hell, maybe some part of you might even encourage it. But he's got the wrong idea here, and bearing the brunt of Marshall's anger is not fun.

You catch up to him and say, "Well, if you would just allow me to explain what actually happened, you'll realise that this whole fight is a joke."

"I told you I don't want to hear it, aight?"

"Oh, I'm well aware!" you shoot back. "You made that very clear in the car."

"Can't you just leave me alone? Huh? Don't you think you fucked up enough for one night?"

"So you don't want to hear anything I have to say - the truth of what happened tonight - but you're okay with taking your anger out on me?"

He turns to face you then. "I don't need you to tell me shit because I saw what happened. I was there, in case you forgot." He scoffs. "I guess you did. Or do you just not respect me anymore? Do I just not mean shit to you?"

It stings. First, Marshall thinking that you're even capable of such a thing...being so convinced without even hearing what you have to say. Second, accusing you of not caring about him. You wish that was even a little true, because then maybe you wouldn't be dealing with this shit right now.

You reply, softer than before, "You know that's not true, Marshall. You know how much you mean to me, and that I would never do anything to hurt you."

He laughs, but it comes out heavy. "Yeah. That explains why I saw your tongue down some cocksucker's throat."

"My tongue was not down anyone's throat! HE stuck his tongue down MY throat and if you could get your head out of your ass for ONE second, you would have seen how quickly I pushed him off. You think I asked for him to just kiss me like that? No, Marshall. I didn't! And you know what? The worst part is that you didn't even stay to see what really happened. No. You just ran off to your car and didn't even let me explain myself, let alone ask if I was okay. So you know what?" You pause to take a deep breath in, and then out. "I'm outta here."

You turn to walk away, and Marshall lets you. He doesn't say anything. But as soon as you reach the door, you hear quick footsteps behind you and feel his hand grab your wrist. He firmly but gently pulls you back, and you glare at him in response.

"I'm a fucking asshole," he says.

"Jeez." You scoff at him. "You don't say."

"How can I make it up to you?"

"Why don't you ask that 'cocksucker' since you're so convinced I wanna fuck him? In fact, maybe I'll be the cock sucker." You said it out of anger to hurt him; to make him feel the way he made you feel.

"Y/n," he warns. He steps closer to you and you can practically feel the anger radiating off of him. Good.

"What?!"

"Don't say that shit again." His voice is strained.

"Or what?"

He leans in, his gaze never leaving yours. You'd be lying if you said his anger and intensity didn't act as an aphrodisiac. His grip on your wrist tightened.

"Or I'm going to have to remind you who the fuck you belong to."

Your breath hitches. His eyes search yours for confirmation, but he doesn't need to.

"Not you," you seethe.

Before he can react, you crash your lips against his. He kisses you hungrily, all teeth and tongue and no air whatsoever. He pulls you stark against him and through his jeans, you feel just how much of an aphrodisiac your anger is for him too.

He breaks the kiss momentarily to take your shirt off, and discards it on the floor. When you're completely topless, his lips find yours again and his cold hand glides up your body to palm your right breast, his thumb rubbing tight circles on your peaked nipple.

"You sure about that, y/n?" he asks, breathing heavily.

"Prove me wrong," you shoot back.

He pinches your nipple in response and as you yelp, he bends down to flick his tongue over it. Just once. You toss his cap somewhere and then almost rip his shirt off. Your hands run greedily from his stomach up to his chest, before wrapping around his neck.

"I don't have to prove you wrong. You're so fucking needy, you're doing it for me." He picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. "You couldn't stop gushing for me even if you tried."

"Fuck you."

He grips your bottom lip between his teeth in response and pushes you up against the nearest wall. At the impact, you feel a slight sting on your lip and get a hint of a metallic taste in your mouth. Marshall drives his hips up causing you to moan, and his tongue gently brushes over your lower lip, soothing it. He sucks it until the metallic taste is gone.

"Maybe you will. But for now, I want to see how right I am."

You feel his hand disappear up your skirt, along your thigh, followed by his fingers moving your panties to the side. He runs one finger through your folds, spreading your wetness. You take a sharp breath in, and when his finger ghosts over your fluttering clit, you throw your head back and shudder.

"Fuck" he breathes, barely audible. "You like that? I should ignore your aching clit all night just to punish you for running that fucking mouth."

You shift on his fingers in response, willing yourself to deprive him of hearing your sweet moans. When he catches on, he dips his fingertips inside you and making eye contact, drives them further up. You can't help it. You moan and kiss his smug, stupid face. He starts pumping his fingers in and out, curling his fingertips so as to brush against that spot that drives you crazy. You move your hips in time with him as he fucks you with his fingers and you try your hardest to keep eye contact.

"Tell me who the fuck you belong to."

You purse your lips, and then let out a breathy moan as he picks up the pace.

"Fucking tell me or I'll stop right now, y/n."

You're about to give him the answer he wants when you feel that familiar unravelling deep inside and your orgasm proceeds to rip through you. He guides you through it as you gush on his fingers, and as soon as you come down from it, he pulls his fingers out and sucks them clean. He puts you down and you catch your breath.

"You didn't give me an answer."

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" You feign ignorance, but you both know it's an act.

When Marshall just looks at you as though you dropped a diss track on his ass, you backtrack. "Okay, fine. You want your answer?"

He continues his angry stare.

"I do belong to someone," you affirm.

"And?"

"And he does make me gush all the time. Without even trying."

He steps closer. "Uh huh?"

"And I would never be fucked right if it weren't for him. God, the things I'd do right now to sit on his face."

Marshall swallows. "Say his name. Tell me who exactly you belong to." His fingers caress your thigh.

You pause.

"Fifty."

The immediate change in Marshall makes you regret having ever been born with a mouth. He steps back abruptly, turns around, and takes a deep breath. His fists clench at his sides and he takes a few steps away. Furious doesn't even begin to describe it. Shit. Maybe you do run your mouth too much. Just as you're about to approach, Marshall turns around and stalks dangerously towards you. He grabs your wrist, not bothering to be gentle, and pulls you in the direction of the living room. There, he kicks off his shoes and tosses his jeans aside. When he took the belt off, he looked at you for a single second before discarding that too. You can see his bulge through his underwear, and your mouth goes dry with nerves. You can't say the same about your pussy.

He walks up to you and yanks your skirt down. You step out of it.

"Shoes." His tone makes it very clear that he's not playing.

You kick them off and then feel his fingers move between your legs. He pulls your panties down by the fabric against your pussy, simultaneously feeling how soaked you are - both from a few minutes ago and from now. He throws them aside.

"Floor. Now."

You do as he says and kneel down on the plush carpet, spreading your legs a little. But he pushes you so that you go to lie down instead, and then he comes to hover over you.

"Do you know how fucking furious you make me?" he growls.

You look at him defiantly, thinking about earlier. The anger starts building up again. "Do you know how fucking pissed you make me?"

You stare at each other for a second.

He brings your arms up over your head and pins you tightly by the wrists. "If you even fucking think about moving-"

"You'd have to think about fucking me right first."

"Fuck you," he spits.

"If you can," you retort.

"I can't stand you. You know that? I can't fucking stand you, y/n."

You push his underwear down with your feet. "Looks like you're standing pretty well, actually."

When it looks like you've pissed him off to the point beyond repair, you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him against you.

"Show me who I belong to, Marshall. Make me say it." You nip his lip. "Scream it."

He doesn't need any more motivation. He adjusts himself at your entrance and then immediately rams into you. His cock fills you up completely as it repeatedly slams in and out of you. You moan freely as he grunts and curses with you in harmony. He isn't concerned about being gentle, and instead works all that fury out. You don't mind even a little. You move your hips as fast as you can, trying to keep up with him. He lets go of your wrists and instead sits up on his knees. His fingers dig firmly into your ass as he lifts your hips up and drives his cock deeper into you, your tits bouncing. He bottoms out with each delicious thrust and you grip his arms, your nails marking him.

He slows down just a little. "Who. Do. You. Be. Long. To?" he asks with each thrust.

You moan his name.

"Who?"

"YOU, MARSHALL. Fuck!" you pant.

"Say it again," he insists.

"Fuck off."

He stops.

"Fuck no okay I'm sorry! You! You, Marshall. I belong to Marshall Bruce Mathers the third! No one else. Now let me cum already, pleeeeeease!!!!"

He resumes fucking into you and you whine with pleasure.

"Cum for me, baby," he commands.

He picks up the pace and you do. You arch your back as you scream his name and your body starts shuddering as you cum wave after wave onto his cock. At the sight and the feel of your body clenching and shaking around him, Marshall reaches his own high and cums inside you, until you're dripping down his cock with a mixture of both your release and his. He collapses onto you and you wrap your arms around him, one hand in his hair. It takes what feels like a long time for you to come down from your highs. He kisses you deeply and your other hand travels down and grabs his ass, taking him by surprise. You laugh underneath him and he rolls his eyes, but smiles.

"Still can't stand me?" you ask teasingly.

"I'm the only one that can stand you. And handle you. And fuck you right." He smirks.

You roll your eyes at the confidence. "Territorial, much?"

"Have to protect what's mine."

He pulls out and watches as you start leaking with his release. "Shit. I'll never get over this sight. But do you know how fucking hard it is to clean carpet?"

"Hey! You dragged me here. It's your problem."

"You know what?" He stands up and starts walking away. "Let's see how you get up the stairs on your own."

Prick. He knows how weak your legs are, let alone how sore you are between your legs. The stairs will likely only be a beatable foe in a day or two.

"Fine. Guess I'll sleep here then."

He sighs and walks back to you, amused by your stubborness but hiding a smile. "I should let you." But he picks you up anyway and carries you to the bedroom, where he cleans you up and then goes back to face the damn carpet.

[sevicia]

Writer Guy's only "friend" who sucks majorly. Notes under da cut. Heart.

Firstly ☝️ he's heavily inspired by the experience of having someone follow you around even after you have told them very explicitly to stop doing so. Writer Guy will look him dead in the eye and say "I don't care about anything you have to say. Leave me alone, you annoy the shit outta me", and he'll just go "Bro you're always so funny LOL I'm probably the only one that gets ur sense of humor. Anyways, about my new podcast idea..."

This guy's deal is that he's obsessed with others' perception of him. He's an aspiring influencer and can't decide between being a youtuber, a streamer, or having a podcast. He's into crypto and defends NFTs like it's his job.

He met Writer Guy in college and has stuck to him like a leech ever since, even though they only had a few classes together. His reasoning was that Writer Guy seemed like the lone-wolf type and thus would attract attention with his ~mysterious~ charm, when in reality he was so boring that no one really paid him any mind. If you ask any of their ex-classmates, you'll find that no one really remembers either of them.

He spends a lot of time in r/shortguys and gets frustrated that he can't relate to the whole "women only ever pay attention to tall guys and we manlets are all martyrs" thing cause he's never even tried to get with a girl (he will lie about this). He's gay as hell but in almost complete denial. Genuinely believes stuff like "it's not gay with the socks on".

Unserious images that remind me of him:

I also gotta mention that his role in Mary and Writer Guy's story is very, very minimal, and that he never actually meets Mary. His story is a typical yaoi one where he falls in love with some guy and has one of those cliché "I'm not gay... why do I feel like this towards another man ?!?!!" moments. I chose to do it this way cuz I think it's funny as fuck to have him experience a romcom type thing while Writer Guy is basically Spongebob in the Silent Hill corridor.

I admit I'm not 100% sold on his hair, but it's brown for sure. Why? It just makes sense.

Some design notes including the other two:

Writer Guy is generally apathetic and would be considered boring at a surface level by 99,9% of the population. He teaches philosophy (ethics, specifically) at the college Mary attends, though they weren't aware of each other before The Events. His lectures are notoriously boring and many of his students sleep thru class or just skip them completely, but he passes them all anyways.

He's a writer in his spare time and writes trashy extreme horror on his (anonymous) blog, which is how Mary becomes aware of him. Stuff happens, his superiors (who are at best ambivalent towards him) find out about his hobby, he gets fired and doesn't care enough to defend himself or to raise any concerns about the school's attitude towards its teachers' private lives.

I also forgot to include his "On" design in the above pic, so here, a comparison:

I'm very obviously still figuring out how to draw him, but the drawing on the right is what he looks like at work. Just plain dorky and someone you would not look twice at.

I would also talk about his relationship with Mary, but for that I'd need to talk about Mary first, which I can't do rn cuz this post is already long enough and it's nearing 3 AM and she makes me absolutely BONKERS insane to the point I barely even know where to start when I wanna talk about her.

She's the only OC I have ever made a playlist for. I wish she was someone else's character so I could look at her without having to do the work myself.

A little fun fact about her is she used to dye her hair black before The Events. All I got for you rn.

OK that's all from me. For neoww...... Muah!

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

I want to see your ideas and HCs of a fem!MC in nrc is that's not too much to ask. I'm curious.

Fem Yuu

Okay, I am gonna preface this by saying this is probably one of the only times I will write for a full-fledged cis Fem reader. This is a Trans/Male/Enby blog, and as such, this will also be tagged as Dysphoria TW since I know a lot of trans homies follow me. Fem reader does have a slight fear of men.

Oh, man. So… you're a girl in a school full of immature men with a dorm that's the embodiment of toxic masculinity… Well just stick to this handy guide on how to survive men 101 and you might just survive… maybe. Also, good luck, you are going to need it.

When you were summoned, it was a good thing your robes were way too big for you and hid you well, even with all the action you experienced, it managed to keep you hidden. After the disaster that was the opening ceremony, Crowley took you aside and realized you were a woman.

This could go two ways. He can totally announce that NRC is now accepting women! Wouldn’t that make the school look great- hey wait don't hit him, what do you mean this isn't the time for that? What do you mean it's scary to be surrounded by men? After smacking some sense into him, you go with the second plan: Hide your identity.

Chances are if you have been isekai’d you won’t have the magic or potions to disguise yourself as a boy, so here are some alternatives! (Don't actually do some of this IRL)

Beg Crowley for a disguise charm! It works like a charm to hide all things about your body, making you perfectly androgynous. Furthermore, it also hides the smell of a monthly cycle and any hormones and pheromones the body produces. All you have to do is guilt trip. It would look bad if a student got hurt, right?

It's binder time! Can't get a binder? No problem! Just wrap your chest with as much duct tape or bandages as possible, when you can barely breathe, you know you’re done! Be sure to wear lots of perfume to hide any scents too!

Fake body! There are a lot of wearable silicon suits out there! Just get one for your torso and face and bam! Good luck when it gets hot though!

Sam, though a businessman, is a very good man. He can definitely give you a few remedies to changing or disguising yourself. Who knows, you might just strike a deal with him.

Present yourself as a trans-guy, femme enby, or just feminine man. You just have to deal with transphobia on top of misogyny. Have fun!

And if none of these work? You're shit outta luck.

You think you can tell Grim, your roommate? Absolutely not. No one can know, not even your closest friends. They're loud and unreliable. They would let your identity slip at a moment's notice. Thankfully Grim is an idiot and doesn't really notice anything. After all, you've seen how some of these guys talk about women… 

So you hiding your identity should be where this guide ends. However, you as the MC can never have it so easy. Congratulations! You were revealed to be a woman! Here are some pro tips to deal with the creeps and some notable behaviors from our faborite characters.

The ghost bride event has shown us none of these men know how to interact with women at all. Even the most mature of the cast seemed to get nervous around women. Yes, even the gentleman Trey is unsure how to interact with you at first but unlike everyone else, he quickly gets over it and realizes it's not a big deal. Riddle, Vil, Ortho, Jade, Jack, Rook, Kalim, Jamil, and Malleus are the only ones that realize this.

Silver and Lilia get a category of their own as they are very polite and it makes no difference. Silver would even swear to protect you as well since he is a knight in training. Good boys.

Others get stuck in a phase where they believe they have to treat you differently now. Even when they eventually grow out of it, it does get very annoying. Especially when Sebek feels the need to try and be your protector as well…

You think that Ruggie’s and Leona’s fear of women would give you a break. You are wrong. It makes your interactions with each other feel stiff and grating. You have to hold back the urge to smack them sometimes. Don’t get me started on Idia

But that's just the cast, you should really be fearing the NPCs. The Savannahclaw dorm is your mortal enemy. Even when Leon gave his dorm members a talk about not disrespecting you, his words go on a lot of deaf ears. Casual sexism and gross remarks about you are expected.

However, there are scary times when some men in general think you owe them sex for basic kindness or are very keen on the only girl in school getting them off when they’re in the mood and a lot of them don't take rejection well. Usually, you have to walk with your friends… Oh, man, and the catcalling…

Of course, now you also have a creepy group of stalker simps that seem to want to swoop in and protect you from everything. Invest in some locks around Ramshackle…

A silver lining however is the staff. Sam doesn't expect you to pay for feminine products and gives any other customer that messes with you a hard time. Hell, he even employs you so you can also get some cash to be able to take care of yourself with. 

Vargas doesn't go any easier on you, however, he does keep a very close eye on you during PE, just in case any boys get ideas… He takes it upon himself to teach you self defense.

Trein has had daughters before, and sees you as an extension of them. He has you in the front of the class so he can look after you easier and is often one to help you walk home. He knows how bad young men are these days and is just doing what he would do for his daughters. You’re allowed in his classroom anytime and he is sure to report any man who gives you a rough time.

Crewel is similar. He also keeps an eye on you during classes and sits with you with your friends. He may even hold you back after class to check in on you or show you a few different potions that could help with your situation. “Stop, you dog! Unhand the lady. You poor fools know nothing about class nor respect. For your punishment-“

At least now you can really see who your true friends are. The ones that don't treat you differently and look out for you make you feel grateful. You still are hoping for the day you can get out though.

The media will eventually pick this up. A magicless girl at an all boys academy? They just have to get the scoop. No one blames you for hiding in your room rather than dealing with paparazzi or reporters trying to invade your space. However, the super-personal questions paired with remarks about your appearance or talents being plastered everywhere online isn’t good for your mental health. You want to go home.

Stay tuned for survival guide 2: How to survive the Media! (Spoiler Alert: You don't.) And good luck Fem Yuus!

[eddiezpaghetti]

Hallo! Like many other people, I found you thanks to the incredible piece on why Byler IS GONNA be endgame. In your second/response post on this matter you briefly mentioned Supernatural, Teen Wolf and Sherlock, and I was wondering if you could make direct comparisons to these cases and explain how exactly they differ from Byler. If you knew about these shows while they were still airing, did you also strongly believe or at least had a bit of hope that those ships would become canon? If no, what are the main differences that make ST's pair so unique? If yes, do you believe you overlooked/assumed things back then that you now account for better? And sorry if this is an annoying or repetitive question, I imagine you've gotten a bunch of similar requests and you might want to distance yourself from the topic alr + from what little I know about those 2010s shows I can already kind of predict the answer myself thanks to your definitions of queerbaiting v queer-coding v accidental romance, so I guess this is more of an excuse so I get a chance to read another one of your masterful posts, apologies for that hehe <3

Honestly, I used those examples because they're really well-known in general, not because I'm an expert on those pieces of media. A piece of media I probably know better on a personal level that did queerbaiting isn't even a great example because it was just on such a small scale, but definitely still held true under "We're doing this simultaneously to pander to and make fun of queer people," but no one was too invested because it was with a minor character, so no one cared much, and no one really believed was going to happen. Tonally, though, it matches up with the other examples, and it's another piece of shit that came straight outta Moffat's ass. Uhh...

Yes, that's James Corden. Not relevant. The important thing is that this is a scene that works as an example of what The Queerbaiting Tone™ feels like.

If you haven't seen Doctor Who--first of all, how did you find Tumblr, but more importantly--this character was in a whopping two episodes. Minor character, had a love interest, but his relationship with the Doctor was still remarkably, like, intimate?

The doctor's companions never joined him on the episodes he was with this character, they were roommates for a while (oh my god they were roommates), they had the whole one-sided-rivals thing (Corden's character was jealous of how the Doctor seemed to charm everyone around him while the Doctor just wanted Corden's character safe and happy), there was a goddamn scene where Corden's character got poisoned and the Doctor nursed him back to health complete with staying at his bedside and gently brushing the hair out of his eyes and all that shit... And the second episode Craig (I just remembered the character's name--shut up, it's been a while) was in happened because the Doctor was informed he was about to die and he decided Craig was someone he wanted to see just one last time.

Then the above scene happened.

And you can see that, like, it's blatantly a joke, Craig mentions he has a wife, he's such a minor character that no one actually believes he's going to romance the Doctor and run away with him, but all of the genuine moments between them still happened. This is still a character the Doctor (normally a ~mysterious~ character) chose to have a goddamn Vulcan-style mind-meld with.

And, again, this was a joke. The punchline is the idea of them being gay. Hilarious. Two men being in love. Absolutely ground-breaking humor.

Queerbaiting is just that scene, and those two episodes of Doctor Who, but with a much longer buildup to the punchline. The longer that buildup is, the more real it feels. The more effort is spent on it, the more you want to believe it's too much effort to be a joke. And the more space is spread about between them, the harder it is to remember all the little micro-jokes the big joke is made of.

And again, Byler has never had that. Stranger Things has never had that. I'd love to show every goddamn scene with a queer character or queerness mentioned in the show just to prove that it's not the same, but that's hard because it's harder to show the absence of something than the presence of something. It'd take too long. And the sincere scenes that do make up Will and Mike's love story, those are between the jokes with queerbaiting. Again, there was a scene in Doctor Who where Craig got poisoned and the Doctor stayed by his bedside and made him tea and did his work for him in the meantime so he wouldn't fall behind. But, again, that's between jokes.

Mike and Will have never developed their relationship between jokes. They're not a punchline. There's no joke here. It's only Mike desperately calling Will's name through the radio when he hears him singing. It's only Mike saying that meeting him was the best thing he's ever done. It's only Will tearfully telling Mike that he wanted to play games with him for the rest of his life. It's only Will giving Mike a veiled confession by projecting his feelings onto El. Over and over and over again, it's sincere, sincere, sincere, sincere, sincere.

Their closeness isn't funny, it's just love. And that's the difference.