#-it's still possible to have fun and enjoy creating content on here. i write fics for myself and the one friend who's going to go insane in

[icy-scream]

i genuinely think ur tumblr experience is what u make of it. like obviously i'm lucky bc i've been around for ages and have alrdy made long-term friends, but i'm still making new ones like sleep nonnie & my new moots! i have so much fun whenever i come on tumblr!!! i love rbing my friends' works and scrolling thru tags and sending/receiving asks i just love tumblr sometimes it's so fun and cosy to be on here <3

[lucrativesoul]

Welcome Home

summary: you finally graduated college and are home free for the summer, planning to spend as much time as possible with your best friend. what you weren't planning for, however, was the incredible sight of her older brother, Leon, who had drastically changed after all those years. you had never thought you would fall for your best friend's brother.

pairing: leon kennedy (re2) x fem! reader

word count: 9.3k

warnings: smut, bathroom sex, public sex, fingering, dom(ish) leon

a/n: guys, thank you endlessly for 300+ followers, 250+ reblogs and all those likes! i'd like you all to take a moment to read this, apologies... i absolutely love writing. I've been writing for ten years! crazy. i do it for fun, and because i want to put out the content that i want to consume and i want to be that outlet for people who don't write but want to consume, that is just as fair! a while ago, while writing this, my laptop gave me a scare. i'm realizing now that its a 5 year old macbook, which, in apple timeline, means it might be on the way out at the blink of an eye. if you are feeling generous at all, i have created a ko-fi. it is absolutely not necessary, because i'm not doing this blog for money, but if you really love my work and want other ways to support me, it's there. i will never be upset at no donations, but i made it in hopes that i'm on this blog for a long time. so sorry for the rambling, i really hope you guys enjoy this one, and i will be back soon for a fifth fic. love u!

No matter how many young adult fiction books you read, how many love story tropes you think you have seen, there was just one that seemed so unreasonable, it was almost laughable. Because, after all, you spent way too much time with this person to ever even see him as attractive, it had never even crossed your mind. Come on, your best friend’s brother? The boy who was so ungracious, messy, impolite, and had a crude, childish sense of humor? It was just unrealistic.

Until… It was realistic.

For all your life, you looked at Leon Kennedy as the young, bumbling boy who tripped over his own two feet at any given opportunity, ready to make jokes at inappropriate times and constantly worked overtime to barge in when you and your best friend were hanging out. He was only two years older than you, but his personality read the same age, if not, younger. Boys will be boys…

You always knew that college would change a person, and you can’t deny that about yourself, but it was so hard to look at the people you were closest to and imagine that they, too, changed with college. Your best friend was still the same person you knew since middle school, and all those years that you knew Leon, he had never changed, until he left for college himself. You were confident in knowing that when he came back, he would be the same exact person, just… older.

You could not have been more wrong.

“These days could not go by any faster.” Your best friend whined to you over the phone, a daily routine between the two of you. “I need you home ASAP, Leon is driving me crazy. He’s being so loud.”

Yep, that sounded pretty in character for him. “I know, just five more days, and I’m home free, forever. I wish commencement wasn’t even happening at this rate, I’m wasting away here.”

You were finishing up your last days as a college senior at a school that was a thousand miles away from home. The scholarship opportunity was incredible, and you could not say no to this offer. Your best friend chose to stay local, which you inwardly criticized, but would never say to her. You knew her parents could have afforded to send her here, who needs that big of a house for a family of four anyway?!

Commencement was set to happen on Thursday, and it was currently Sunday. Your own parents had flown in to watch you walk the stage, and while you knew your best friend would have dropped everything to come as well, her school chose to hold theirs on the same exact day. Figures.

“I miss you guys. The summers I came home just weren't enough. I have to say, I’m so glad this internship bullshit is over. It feels like I haven’t ever even lived with you.”

You heard her groan on the other line. “I know! It’s so stupid. Why would a program even make it so you could only intern in the summer? Don't they know you are only in your twenties once?!”

You laughed at her remark, gazing off as you continued the conversation. Classes were over and exams were concluded, at least you had a healthy pile of books to go through to pass the time. You decided to worry about the logistics of taking them home at a later date.

There’s something so innocent about getting lost in the world of young adult romance. Some would say it makes their own lives dreary, coming to the conclusion that they could never live out these fantasies in the real world, but to you, it felt real anyways. It only made you happier. It puts some optimism in your life.

The comfy plane read you chose was about a high school girl, absolutely smitten over the five-years-older brother of her best friend. This type of thing, you thought, just seemed too… fairytale, to be real. In no world where you knew someone as a child could you grow up and think they were an object of fantasy. You tried picturing you and Leon in this situation. Never!

Admittedly, you haven’t seen Leon in like 4 years. The last time you saw him, it was right before you left for college, and your major requires summer internships which leave a very small window for home visits. You never crossed paths during those times. From what your friend tells you, he’s rarely home now, he must have migrated to a new group of friends in college and found other passions. Good for him, you thought, you wish you could say the same, but you needed the income from whatever job you landed from your internship.

He was never really a tiny boy in high school, he was of a pretty average build and rivaled some of the football players, but he was not an athletic kid. You can’t imagine him changing that much more, your best friend never talked about him like that, obviously, so, you only had to imagine after the last time you saw him.

From your own personal standpoint, it was just impossible to believe in this best friend’s brother trope. You shut the book and closed your eyes, willing the plane to start moving faster.

As soon as your plane touched down, you whipped your phone out to send a text: As soon as all this shit is put away, I’m coming straight over.

Predictably, less than three minutes later: YES!! All nighter, we’re 14 again. I have drinks in the fridge.

Willing yourself through all the pleasantries of coming home, promising other relatives you would be by in a few days when you are settled, you merely threw your suitcase down into your room before dashing out to your car, knowing the route to your best friend’s house even with your eyes closed. 

A tight, running start hug was the intro you both needed as a fresh start to the summer.

“Please tell me you are home for good now, they aren't making you do any more summer internships?”

You laughed as you followed her into the house. It felt like it’s been forever since you’ve been in this large house’s lived-in walls. “No, thank god. I’m officially done. Except for job hunting, but I’m putting that off for as long as I can get away with it.”

“Agreed.”

As you followed her up the steps to her room, snacks and drinks spilling over your arms, a loud cacophony rang out through the house, coming from the garage. “What the hell is that?” You stopped short, listening to it through the closed door.

“Wow, that’s how I really know it’s been forever since you’ve been here. I’m so used to it now. It’s a band that Leon is a part of. The ‘rents loaned out a car space in the garage.”

Wow, you thought, multiple things to dissect here. One: this has been going on for some time now, and you never knew. You didn’t blame your friend for not bringing it up, it wasn’t weird to not mention a new hobby of her brother’s. Two: Leon apparently knew how to play an instrument. You couldn’t recall anytime seeing him play anything, and he had never expressed an interest in singing, so that was difficult to digest. Three: their parents would give up a car space just for them to do this. They still had two car spaces left in there.

“God, it’s really been that long, huh? I’ll have to get him to spill all about this whenever he comes out.”

You heard a groan from in front of you on the stairs, and you hopped up to be beside her, headed to her bedroom. “If you can even catch him. He’s like a slippery snake. Plus, he’s so private, I don't know what happened to him. Anyway, you should come over tomorrow night and pregame with me and the girls, cause…” 

She droned on, and while you still had half of your brain paying attention to her, you couldn’t help but think about that sentence she just said. Leon’s different now? The slippery snake part didn’t make many waves, you weren’t surprised that a man in his mid twenties didn’t want to be bothered, but you didn’t expect a whole new personality to come out of him. What happened while he was gone? Or, what kind of epiphany did he have?

“Oh, my god, look at this, too. I totally forgot to send you this. I’m so mad you missed it!”

Your best friend shoved a phone in your face, and you took it, grateful for the mental topic switch. It was a group of four girls and five boys, your old friends, standing along a cliffside in bathing suits. You assumed this was the cliff jumping extravaganza you heard about over the phone a couple weeks ago. And, yes, you were also mad you missed it.

“This looked like so much fun, I haven't seen all of them in forever. Maybe we can convince everyone to do it again soon.” You looked up and smiled as your friend laughed. You looked back down to the photo. “Who is this?”

She leaned over you as you zoomed in on a man in the top right, his lower half covered by a girl bending forward for a photo, but you could tell he was incredibly toned. His hair was pushed back with water from the lake below, and a broad smile graced his features. You sensed familiarity, but you had never met this person before.

Your friend scoffs. “Girl, what? That’s Leon.”

“What?!” Has it really been that long since you’ve seen Leon in person? Now that you look at it again, yep, that’s definitely him, but why does he look so different? Thinking back, it wasn’t often you spent time with him around after he graduated high school and went to college. You saw him probably even less than you visited home during your college career, and honestly, it has probably been years since you’ve seen him at all. “He looks so… different.”

“Like I said, I don’t know what happened. Maybe he won’t recognize you either.” You handed her phone back to her. Maybe, you wondered, but you doubted it. Nothing about you changed at all. You woke up every day waiting for a magical overnight nose job and five month glute progress from the gym that you didn’t go to, but it never happened. 

The night carried on, the strange questions about Leon’s college whereabouts pushed to the back of your mind. It felt so good to be back home. The summer was only just getting started, and with the buzz running through your system, you couldn't feel anything except excitement.

“I’m out of water, fuckkk,” You moaned. Your friend giggled at you. 

“Go get some. And don’t fall.” If you were any more sober you would have glared at her for this, reminding you of the time you drunkenly took a tumble down her stairs, but right now, it was only a funny memory as you totally didn’t have an iron grip on the railing as you walked down.

The rest of the house was dark and quiet now. You remembered her saying her parents were somewhere else, so you hadn’t seen them at all tonight, and there was no longer heavy music coming from the garage. You instinctively turned your head that way, like it would magically start up again.

You stumbled over to the refrigerator, yanking it open and hearing all the bottles clink around on the door. It took you a second to collect your bearings, but after a few more seconds, water was located, and you let your eyes readjust to the darkness as you shut the door. A figure in the darkness made you yelp.

“Goddamnit, you scared me!” You placed a hand over your beating heart.

A deep laugh floated through the air at this, but you were still partially blinded. “Hey, you. I’m sorry, I thought you were my sister.”

Leon. 

You blinked hard a few times, willing the night vision to return, and a little bit of your drunkenness away. You took a hard look at the man in front of you, as good of a look as you could. You only saw a silhouette, a dark shirt, hair over his forehead, and he was taller than you, wider, stronger. This was not the Leon you remember from high school.

“Leon. It’s so nice to see you.” You tried your hardest to sound normal, but surely he already knew what the two of you were up to.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” Slowly, your vision was returning, and his facial features were becoming prominent. Eyes. Mouth. Smile. “Congratulations on graduating, back home for good now?” 

“Yeah, yes. Thank god. Thank you.” You could now tell you were fumbling over your words, and suddenly wanting nothing more than to go back upstairs. “I’ll be here a lot more often now, so get used to me.” You walked around him back to the stairs, listening to that low chuckle that you got out of him. God, you really needed another drink.

The night and next day bore on with nothing too important left to remember about it, as long as you were in the confort of your home town again getting fucked up with nowhere to be, it was a great time as far as you were concerned. 

Though, despite continuing to drink that night and waking up a little unsteady the next morning, you couldn’t shake that brief encounter you had with Leon. You could barely see him in the dark, but you could already tell he looked different. His build was wider than the last time you saw it, he even looked a little taller. He had only ever been maybe an inch above you, but since he disappeared to college, it looked like he went up at least five. Or maybe you were shrinking. 

You were mad it was so dark and you were on the edge of tipsy and drunk to be able to clearly see him. You saw him in the photo of the outing at the cliffside, but you really didn't want to believe that was him. He was almost… sexy.

Which was crazy. You had never thought of Leon like that. Yes, there was some sort of novelty to having a crush on the only consistent older man in your life whom you weren’t related to, but whenever you came face to face with him, it was just normal. You felt nothing, he was just there. 

But this… this could change everything. Was he actually attractive now? God knows you weren’t the best at being normal around people who you thought were attractive, and that could make things infinitely awkward with being around your best friend so often. And your best friend, what would she even think? You can’t confide in her to tell her you might think her older brother is hot. This was all messed up. This is not how you wanted summer to start.

–

A few days had passed with no rift, and your momentary crisis left with no memory. You discovered, though, as much as you couldn’t wait for summer to roll around so you could be free of your duties, your days were much more boring than you had anticipated. With your past summer internships, you were always busy, and had one or two days a week to rest at most. But now, with the summer sun high in the sky and no requirements of you anymore, you were at a loss of anything to do other than sit by your best friend’s pool, baking in the heat.

“They’re having some start-of-summer party going on in one of the campus houses tonight, are we down?”

You didn’t move your head nor open your eyes as your friend spoke to you. “Yeah, sure. It will be more of a time than drinking with just us.”

She sighed. “You can say that again.”

You pushed yourself up off the chair. “I’ll be back, don’t drown.”

You listened to her sarcastic response as you went inside the house, needing a moment to cool down, and to refill your drink. As you slid the glass door shut, you were greeted with the sound of loud instruments, reminding you of the first night you came here once returning from school. Leon must have had his bandmates come over some time while the both of you were outside, as you don’t remember hearing this, or seeing anyone else. You ignored it, and stalked past the door, headed upstairs to the kitchen.

The music stopped, a door opened, and chatter became clearer without the barrier. You didn’t know who else Leon could have here, you didn’t know his friends, and you were suddenly too aware of the bikini you had on. Whatever, you soothed your anxiety, I look good.

“Oh, hey.” You turned around at the strange voice, not recognizing the person standing at the stairway, headed towards the kitchen. “Now it’s a party.”

“Dude, gross.” A more familiar voice followed quickly behind the quip, and Leon’s head became visible as he climbed the stairs. “Sorry.” He spoke now to you, visibly doing his best to keep eye contact with you. Now you could really feel your half-nakedness. 

“Doesn’t sound like you guys are making much progress out there.” You joked, turning your head back to where you were filling your water bottle. You heard Leon’s friend laugh, making a remark along the lines of blaming other people in the band, but you unintentionally tuned him out.

“We’re trying.” Leon was closer to you now, and when you turned, his friend had disappeared, probably into the bathroom. Leon was grabbing drinks from the fridge, and the two of you were separated by the kitchen island, sunlight illuminating both of you.

His hair was a shade darker than you remembered it being, still blonde, but almost brown. It came down to touch his ears, and the pieces of bangs on his forehead were clumped together with sweat. He had on a gray tank, the ones with the arm holes that go down to your ribcage. His arms, god, those arms–

“Doing anything fun out there?” He walked around the island, even closer to you now, getting cups from the cabinets. 

You shook your head. “Just trying to become a leather couch while I’m still young.” You fixed the top of your water bottle back on, but didn’t move from your spot, taking the chance to talk to Leon.

“That’s the spirit.” He placed the cups down on the counter and leaned on it, clearly standing around to talk to you, too. You noticed a bandage wrapped around his right hand as he crossed his arms.

“What happened there? Start scrapping with the wrong people?” 

He lifted it and looked at it, like he just realized it was there. He laughed softly. “This might sound gross, but it's just a callus that burst open the other day. Right when I was used to holding drumsticks all the time.”

You sighed a gentle laugh. “Doesn’t that hurt, still using it?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I just didn’t want to start touching shit and get it all gross again.” He set his hand back down. You took the silence to ask another question. 

“When did the drums start? That was never a thing as far as I can remember.” He looked down, slowly nodding his head, as if trying to piece together memories of what his life was like the last time he saw you.

He sighed. “I kind of picked it up during college. I thought it was a lot of fun. I knew a lot of guys at the time who were in a bunch of different bands, so they had access to all these instruments, and I tried a bunch, but the only one that stuck was drums. I guess it’s easy and I like it only because I still can’t read sheet music for the life of me.”

You smiled softly at his explanation. Looking at him in the daylight, now, you can see the old him in his features. He grew into his face, his cheekbones slightly more pronounced, and his dimpled chin fitting perfectly into his jawline. His eyes were soft, yet tired. Still the bright blue you remember them being.

“Are you any good?”

He smiled fully at this, looking back up to you. “Of course. I know it sounds like ass right now, but we’re trying out some new stuff. But, and maybe I’m just biased, I think we have some really solid potential.”

You shrugged, a grin still present on your face. “I’ll have to see it to believe it.”

Leon stood up now, grabbing the cups and the still tied together 6-pack. “I agree. We’re doing a local show next Wednesday night. I’m always inviting my sister, but she doesn’t like going alone, and the rest of your friends don’t like that bar.” You smiled at this. Sounds typical of your friends. “Maybe she will come if you will. And, uh, if you’re still with that guy, he can come, too.”

Your brow furrowed at this. “Guy?”

Leon shrugged. “Oh, well, she told me in passing that you were with some guy last summer. From around here.”

You paused to think about this, nearly forgetting your whole past trying to rake your brain for a memory. It then hit you. “Oh, shit, yeah, that was definitely just a summer thing. He was…” A douche, conceited, horrible at sex. “Not the best. I’m not seeing anybody. And definitely not while school was in. I was way too busy for that.” 

He nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Well, that’s good. And fuck that guy.” You giggled at his support. “I think you should come. I’d be happy to see you there.”

And, oddly, for the first time ever speaking with Leon, your stomach did a flip that only ever happened when you were talking to someone whom you liked. It caught you off guard, and your words caught on your throat.

You nodded quickly, using the opportunity to take a deep breath in. “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ve got the time to, now.”

“Cool. I won’t disappoint, I promise.” With that, Leon bounded back across the room and down the stairs, opening and shutting the door to the garage. You sighed deeply. You didn’t like the feeling that was creeping up inside of you.

Putting your newfound conundrum aside for the night, you resolved to let loose and get back to enjoying the summer the way you had intended to. You were almost tempted to stick around and listen once his band got started with the music again as you were on your way outside, but decided against it, as your friend would surely be asking what took so long. 

Part of you wished Leon had gone to this little party tonight, considering he knew all of your mutual friends, but he was never the party type before this, and it seemed that college did not change that much either. It would make sense if he had a gig coming up, they must be preparing, but you didn’t picture him to be much of a perfectionist. Maybe that changed as well.

–

“Why are we going to this again?” Your friend asked as she followed you out of her house, locking the door behind her. She seemed awfully quick to keep up with you for complaining about doing something she doesn't want to.

“I don’t know, it gives us something to do. Leon asked me to come. Now you’re coming with me.”

“What? Why did Leon ask you to come? He doesn't ask me.” The two of you slid into her sleek black coupe. 

You shrugged as you fastened the belt. “I saw him the other day when I was here, I came in while we were out by the pool. We were just talking. And he said he does invite you, by the way, but you never go.”

She was the one to shrug this time. “Maybe he does. You think there will be hot men here?”

“We’re both hoping.” You half-assed the response, but you already knew the answer was yes. You could never tell her you think Leon is attractive now. You had been mulling it over the past few days, ever since you spoke to him, and you had no choice but to confirm it. He really, really grew into his body. You could even push the curiosity aside to wonder what it was about college that changed him like that, you were just thankful it happened.

Your local bar looked just as you remembered, dark and looming from the outside, people filing in and out simultaneously. It was much busier than you had ever seen it, but the show was most likely the reason for the sudden influx in customers.

The crowd was a thick mass, and you had trouble even spotting the stage when you walked in, but once you and your friend had found a nice little corner, vacant of bodies, and conveniently found a third mutual friend to stand by, the room seemed a little less stuffy.

You absentmindedly scanned the crowd, people hoarding in front of the stage, waiting to be the first to break open the mosh pit, presumably, people in the back drinking idly and chatting, almost like they don't even know a show is happening this night. You found yourself looking for Leon. He was in the building somewhere. You wished you could have told him you were there, but what good would that have done? He wouldn’t have come out to say hello, there were preparations to be had back there.

God, shut up already, you willed at yourself, annoyed at the mere fact that you couldn’t stop thinking of Leon.

Admittedly, you thought of that first scene more often than not recently. The muscle shirt, ribcage exposed, thick arms, sweet smile and bouncy cheeks with a strong jawline, the vision came to you during the day, at breakfast, while you were scrolling your phone, late at night, when the moon was your only company. 

You wondered what he would look like tonight. You were so anxious for him to step out on stage. Would he see you?

Your friend stumbled sideways into you, knocking you out of your monetary stupor. People were now starting to crowd in, hence the bump, and you were assuming the start of the set was about to happen.

On cue, the lights went darker, the roar of the crowd exploded, and people rushed on stage and took their places. Your eyes were instantly drawn to Leon, who, from what you could only see from the backlight so far, had on another muscle shirt. It made your legs feel like jelly.

The lights went on, and after a brief introduction from the front man who was holding a guitar, they started. Leon was right, they were pretty good when they weren’t rehearsing new material. You knew this wasn’t the type of music your best friend was into, but to your surprise, she was bopping away with your other mutual friend, both of them holding drinks. That’s probably why.

Turning back, you could see Leon clearly under the lights now, which were strobing in and out, flashing different colors and patterns. His hair was pushed back this time, exposing his forehead, and looking brand new. You liked the way it looked on him, it made him almost look older. Everytime a strong beam of light would shine down on him, you could see the glistening sweat on his skin, his face. He was so focused on hitting the beats, and succeeded everytime, and you were so enticed by it.

This was a side of Leon you never thought you would see. It was so clear, standing in the crowd watching, how much he belonged up there. He looked so confident, every move was made with ease, no hesitation, and you could feel yourself melting.

It was like a headrush, you didn’t think you would enjoy it this much, but clearly, every moment took your breath away. Yes, you were looking at Leon the whole time, but who could really tell?

Soon enough, the show ended, and the crowd was applauding for what felt like ten minutes as the individual members left the stage, thanked everyone, hopped down to talk to others. You were interrupted with your people-watching when your friend grabbed you by the elbow to let you know she was headed back to the bar for more drinks, and you absentmindedly nodded while you turned back.

You caught the back of Leon, dipping behind the stage into the back of the bar. The tips of your fingers tingled with… something, some emotion you couldn’t read… and you let your body take over as you weaved through the crowd, headed to the back.

People bumped you and yelled in your ears as you squeezed in between them, paying them no mind, on a mission of your own.

After a few seconds, you reached a hallway, a few people lingering by the bathrooms, and you spotted someone, you recognized him as the frontman, dipping behind another doorway, chattering loudly to people behind the wall. Times like this, you wished you had decided to down some liquid courage.

You stalked slowly over to the doorway, seeing flashes of shadow as people walked by, unsure if you should hang out or go in. Most likely, you weren’t welcome, it was probably for performers only, but you couldn’t help it, you continued inching closer, drawn in by an unseen force.

As you took another step inward, a figure rushed out and crashed right into you. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, bathrooms are that way if you’re looking for them, this is restricted access.” You looked up at the man you walked into, you didn’t know who it was. 

“Oh, um…” You backed up a step, and though he was making moves to walk around you, he was waiting for a response. “I was actually waiting for Leon… the drummer.” You added in the title, just in case this was a man who worked at the bar with no affiliation to the band. But, to your relief, he nodded.

“I’ll get him, just chill over there, ‘kay?”

You dumbly nodded and backed up again. The hallway was lit with fluorescents, the bright white kind, but it was still dark, with the walls and floors looking slick with condensation. You opted not to lean up against them.

“Hey, you’re still here?” A voice snapped your head back over to your left, and you saw Leon walking towards you. “You didn’t leave with the rest of them?” He must have seen your other friend there as well.

You shook your head. “They’re still here, I think. Just getting drinks.” He nodded. “I told you I would come.” You held your arms out in a here I am gesture. He laughed.

“I’m so glad. I didn’t see you while I was up there, but… I do tend to just tune everything else out when I play.”

“You did great. You were really good.” You spoke, almost breathless for no apparent reason. 

He smiled softly, his eyes holding contact with yours. “Thank you.” His hair was now starting to fall back into place on his forehead, his face was still red with exerted energy. Your eyes wandered, without your permission, his arms were shining under the hallway lights, still sweaty. You looked away, but he saw. “You look great tonight.” His voice was low, and a twist went straight down your abdomen.

You smiled back. You briefly looked down at your outfit, simply a short skirt and loose band tee. “Thank you. It’s nothing.” 

“I like it.” He looked back into your eyes, and you found yourself lost for words. He broke eye contact for a second, turned around and looked into the back room where, presumably, the rest of his bandmates were. He turned back to you. “You know,” He looked down, and took a step forward towards you, slowly, as if to test the waters. You stayed put. “It’s been so long since I saw you last. I almost didn’t recognize you the first night you were at the house.” You grinned at the memory. You were also equally stunned to not know Leon had changed so much. “Not that you weren’t before but… You’re beautiful, now.” 

Your stomach sank at his words, and with his new proximity to you, it caused you to have to look up at him. You felt a strong shiver course up your body.

“I really… I didn’t recognize you. You look so different, too.” You whispered, knowing he was close enough to hear you. “I didn’t even think it was you at first.”

He simply stared at you for a few more moments, taking in your words, and the way you looked in front of him right now. You were suddenly self conscious, but his gaze seemed to tell you that he liked whatever he saw.

“I… don’t want to back you into any corners here…” He looked down, still not meeting your eyes. “But you’re giving me a… vibe. And I’d rather fuck around and find out than never know if I don’t try.”

You stood up straighter, coming closer to meet his face, his eyes finally touching back onto yours. “What kind of vibe?” You had to say something, anything, because you could barely comprehend this situation right now. Leon was catching a vibe from you? Could he tell that you were looking at his body? Could he tell that you thought he became very sexy?

He tilted his head a little further, and his brow bone cast a shadow over his eyes, darkening them. Another shiver down your body. He shrugged. “I think I just… think you are incredibly attractive, now.” His eyes darted down your body for a quick second before resuming their previous place. “And I want to know if you want to just try it out. Just once.”

You took a quick, silent breath in. He must have been picking up your messages, even though you said nothing and only spoke to him once. Was that one conversation that powerful? Was it the hint you dropped about not being with that guy anymore? Was this something he just knew he was going to attempt as soon as he saw you? You didn’t know, and you really didn’t have the time to think it over.

You reached up and placed a hand on his chest, slowly taking the shirt on his body in your hands, pulling him closer, but with no force. His eyes darted up behind you, and he turned his head quickly one more time. He saved you the trouble, and dipped his head down and kissed you hard.

You sighed instantly, fully gripping his shirt and dragging him in closer to you, pushing your body against his as you could feel him move towards you at the same time. You were exploding, you didn’t know what to do with the rest of your body, and could only bring your other hand up to his bicep, where he then palmed your waist. He pulled back after a few seconds.

“Follow me,” His face was flushed, and when he turned around, you were very quick to follow. He maneuvered the two of you through the back room, where people still were congregating, but none of them paid much attention to the two of you. You passed by his other bandmates, and when he turned the corner, he pushed open a door, and ushered you inside. It was a bathroom. “This is the best I can do right now.”

Instead of replying, you simply grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him in. The room was dark, you could tell from under your eyelids as you felt the heat of his face on yours again, and you were at least happy for that, you weren’t too sure you wanted to see the state of the bar’s bathroom at this moment.

His hands found solace again on your waist, thumbs rubbing circles, and fingers teasing along the waistband of your skirt. Leon pressed himself further into you, sandwiching you in between him and the wall, and the stark difference in temperature between the two caused another series of shivers to run up your body.

Leon’s mouth left your lips, now wet and slick with his saliva and yours, and traced them down the length of your jaw, along your neck, nipping at the tender skin, making you sigh and arch your back, increasing the contact of your bodies. Your hands dragged along his sturdy shoulders, reaching around and locking your arms behind his neck, holding him in as he worked your neck, and as his hands started to move. You kept breathily gasping as he bit underneath your jawline, fingertips caressing your jutting hip bone, dipping lower, causing ripples to erupt in your core.

He had positioned his hands now to take purchase on the hem of your skirt, full intentions of pulling it up, when he released his lips from your neck and his face was back in front of yours. 

“Sorry that this is all we have.” His voice was low, and you almost didn't hear it over the static of the bar music softly coming in through the speakers. “We can wait if you want.”

His hand was still positioned on your clothing, and you didn’t let go of him even a little bit. You could only look up, your head already touching the wall behind you. “Where’s the thrill in that?”

Under his shadow, you saw his lips quirk up slightly, he breathed a laugh, and dove back in to kiss you. You threaded your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging, hearing him groan at the sensation. The hand that was ready to hike your skirt up did just that, and his other was gripping your thigh, lifting it higher so he could slide himself right in between. 

He made himself comfortable pressed against you, and you could feel his erection growing through his jeans, giving himself some sort of friction, and you pushed back, earning another groan through your still connected lips. You dropped one of your hands from his hair and traced down his bicep, and into the large hole of his shirt, relishing in every ridge that his ribcage and abdomen had to offer. His skin was so smooth, you knew you would never be able to get enough.

He backed away from the kiss briefly for another moment. “If I never saw you that day you came inside, half naked… in my house looking like that…” He continued to grind himself into you as he spoke, earning noises from the both of you. “Who knows how long I would have to wait?” The hand on your thigh crept upward, leaving a wake of shivers in its path. His palm was flush to your bare skin, reaching the joint of your thigh and hip, and he squeezed the flesh of your hip, digging his thumb into the sweet spot, making you squirm. You clawed at his back, you didn’t even care if it hurt him. You were sure it didn’t.

Leon hovered his mouth over yours, not connecting, but enticing you, and you could only look up at him through a foggy gaze. His hair had now fallen back over his forehead, streaked with sweat, but you hardly minded the way it was touching yours, you wanted him closer. It was impossible how, through the shadow he cast from the light behind him, you could see his blue eyes so clearly, pupils blown, the way he was looking at you made you want to drop dead.

You couldn’t wait any longer, you didn’t even have words to say back to him, you just needed to show him what you thought, how you felt, you just needed him. Your hands came around the front of his body again, not losing contact the entire way, and grasped desperately at his belt, needing to pull out his girth, needing to have his cock in your hands, mouth, in you.

You gasped, trying to form words, but his presence was so dominating, you almost couldn’t. “Leon…” You breathed, and your fingers couldn’t work the clasp fast enough. “Let me…” Finally, it slid open, you pulled the two ends of the belt apart, and made quick work to free his dick from its constraints. Your knees buckled, and you started sliding down the wall.

As you were about to hit the ground, his hands hoisted you back up from under your arms, and you could have whined, the frustration growing, the time only growing in between you getting to have him in your mouth.

“No, I’m sorry,” He grunted as he pulled you up. He put both hands under your thighs, and you gasped as he suddenly picked you up, you wrapped your arms around his neck for balance. “You’re not getting on this floor for me, we’ll save that for another time.”

Another time. Fuck, just those words alone had you melting in his grasp, his strong hands and arms holding you up, walking you around the corner of the bathroom and shutting the two of you in a stall.

“But, you already started this for me, so,” He had you pressed in between himself and the wall once again, one of his arms was still holding you up in the air, legs wrapped around his torso. He tried to separate himself as much as he could to pull his cock out, you reached down in between the two of you to help him, pulling the waistband forward so he could pull them down.

Your breath caught as he pulled it out, a solid, thick length, rock hard, and you were suddenly so mad he wouldn’t let you suck it, because, fuck you would have sucked the life out of him at just the sight of his dick. 

Once he was free, he stroked himself a couple of times, causing himself to moan, and shit, you almost did, too, and he went back to the hem of your skirt, pushing it up over your hips, exposing your small underwear. He eyed them for a moment, humming in acceptance, before sliding them sideways and exposing your aching pussy to the cool air. You, in contrast, were overheating in this bathroom, but now that you were free, it felt so nice, and it felt even better when he ran his fingers along the length, in between your folds, pressing into your clit to watch you squirm again under him.

You sighed loudly, moans slipping out with your breathing as his contact with your heat felt like heaven, your head leaned back and hit the wall, but you didn’t care, you couldn’t feel it, you felt nothing but Leon’s fingers right now.

“Fuck, you’re so wet already,” He was breathing heavily, and you choked out a whimper when he slid one of his fingers in, and it wasn’t stopped with any friction. You also couldn’t believe how wet you were, but then again, you would jump hurdles to be able to suck his dick right here and now, so it must have gotten you worked up. “You feel so good around me.” He mumbled, practically groaned out, sliding in a second finger with ease, the slick sounds becoming louder as he worked you open, and while it felt so good, you just needed him to fuck you already.

“Leon…” You kept whining, unable to say anything else, mind fading, only wrapped around the feeling of him pleasuring you, fingering you, loosening you up for him. “Please, Leon…” You moved your hips, trying to signal to him to pull his fingers out, but he resisted, his hand following the movements of your hips, only going deeper, causing you to squeal when he went as far in as he could.

“Stay still, take it…” Now he pushed himself back against you, finding your lips again and kissing passionately, trapping his fingers inside you, and when you felt them move inside of you, you couldn’t help but squirm against him. His tongue caressed your lips, the inside of your mouth, and your tongue as he was so entwined in kissing you and in fingering you to the edge, his other hand gripping relentlessly at your ass.

After what felt like forever, he backed away, strings of saliva connecting your mouths, his eyes darker than ever, and you, breathing heavily, working to regain composure. He slid his fingers out, a small hiss escaping your lips with the emptiness.

“Fuck,” He sighed, and he looked back down in between you two. He adjusted his grip on your thigh and ass as he used his now free hand to line the tip of his cock up with your entrance, you felt a throb hit the core of your pussy at the mere sight, and you instinctively tightened when he teasingly dragged the tip along your lips, not giving you what he knew you wanted.

You sighed frustratingly, and couldn’t help it but to reach down and wrap your own hand around his dick. The sudden contact made him gasp, but he caught your hand and prevented you from piloting the moment.

“Just relax…” You didn’t need to look up to hear the smile painting his face, and as much as you wanted to protest, you knew he had the upper hand. This time. “You’ll get it, just be patient.” He drew a couple more lines into you, with your hand still trapped under his on his cock, which you could feel it throb every few seconds, and he finally pushed the tip into you.

You whimpered, whole body going slack, and you drew your hand back from his dick to find closure on his shoulder, steadying yourself as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. He had to stop every other second to collect himself as well, jaw tightened, hands gripping bruises into your hips and legs, a long, deep sigh once he was bottomed out.

He brought himself closer to you, relishing in the feeling of you being wrapped around him, unmoving, and he had his face in the crook of your neck, as if to ground himself from the feeling. Your body was shaking slightly, and you could barely breathe with his weight on top of you, but it all felt so good. His skin was slick, sweat coating anywhere that wasn’t exposed to the air, and your hands drawing deep scratches into his shoulder blades.

“Fuck, fuck…” You felt Leon’s lips moving against your throat, and his breath was hot, you could tell he was desperate to move inside of you, but he was still. “You’re so tight, god…” His lips moved up to place gentle kisses along your jawline, and your head rolled to the side to give him more access. He stayed there for a second, teeth grazing your skin, and after a while you were ready for him to start moving.

You picked your head up and turned sideways, forcing him to look directly at you, wasting no time in reconnecting your lips, and, while continuing to kiss you, he slowly slid out, and pushed himself back in.

The both of you were glued to each other as he continued to thrust in and out, your hands gripping impossibly hard on his shoulders, thighs shaking, breaths choppy. His eyes never left your face, he was watching your expressions so closely, you had no control over whatever was happening to you, you could barely breathe, you were so focused on the feeling that Leon was delivering, you simply ceased to acknowledge the setting you both were in.

“God, Leon…” You choked out in between gasps, head hitting the wall over and over, trying to helplessly grind your hips into his when he thrust up, but you had no energy to move against him. He took the initiative, and every time he would plunge into you, he would stay there for a beat longer, and make sure your previously ignored clit was getting the friction it needed, which made you whine even louder.

His breaths were so heavy, spitting out ‘Fuck’, and ‘Oh, shit’, and ‘So good’ every few seconds, letting his train of thought loose as he let himself go, and lost control of the pace.

One of his hands let go of your thigh, and it landed along your chin, forcing your head down to look into his eyes. “How does that feel, hm? So hard to move in you, so tight.” His voice was a broken mess, just breaths, essentially, but it was all you needed to spur you on. 

You simply nodded, knowing the words were nowhere close to coming out right now. Even if you tried, it would be a mess of moans and gasps. You could feel him so deep inside of you, hitting that point to split you open, your pussy was endlessly wet, enough to fuel a whole round or two, and he let you know.

On another thrust, he pushed himself in and sat there for a moment, your moans spilling out without reserve, you both tensed as the unmistakable sound of the creaking door was heard.

Leon took his right hand, free from holding you up, and laced it over your mouth, silencing any sounds of pleasure that you had left in you. 

You were both stiff, eyes wide, and he had his head swung in the direction of the noise. The footsteps approached the counter and turned the sink on. If they were to walk around the corner, they would see Leon’s legs under the door, and could have easily walked in, considering he didn’t shut it all the way, it was just stopped by his body behind it.

He slowly turned his head back to face you, you couldn’t move due to the weight of his hand, and you wanted to writhe under him so bad, feeling his cock throb still deep inside of you while you both were still. Tears were practically forming in your eyes.

He locked eyes with you, and without a sound, mouthed the words Be quiet.

He kept his hand clamped over your mouth, but he slowly adjusted your position so he could slide out of you at a snail’s pace. Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to move, and you used all of your remaining energy to hold yourself together, being overcome by the pleasure while also staying conscious of the person who was still at the bathroom sink. You were glad there was still music playing outside in the bar, and the sink was still running, because if it were dead silent, they definitely would have been able to hear the wet sound of Leon pulling out, and fucking back in. 

He held eye contact with you while he continued to do this, holding you so tightly to make sure nothing made any noise,and a devilish grin broke out onto his face. He was enjoying every second of this. 

He was basically getting off on the idea of pushing you to your limit, forcing you to obey what he asked you to, even if it would benefit the both of you rather than just one. If Leon were shameless enough, he could have told them to fuck off, but instead, he held you here, silenced you, yet drove you to the fucking brink just to watch you fall apart. It made you want to cum right then and there.

After what felt like ten, twenty, thirty minutes (fifteen seconds), the sink shut off, a moment of silence, and the door creaked open again. Leon took his hand off your mouth and you both sighed deeply. While holding you still, Leon leaned back to look through the door to confirm you were alone once again.

“You were barely holding it together, I thought we were going to get caught.” He said on another thrust into you, bringing your faces closer once again. You swallowed hard, instinctively choking back moans now.

“Y-you… you were making it hard…” Gasps, again, as Leon was determined to make everything he asked of you difficult.

He brought himself closer into you, and spoke lowly. “Good,” With swift moves, his free hand was around your throat, holding your head back, and he was relentlessly bouncing you up and down on his cock.

The pressure around your throat and the pressure building in your core at his movements was all overwhelming, your hands were cutting crescents into his bicep from your nails, but he hardly took notice, he was so busy moving the both of you as well as keeping an eye on your face to watch how you were responding to his movements, he was too preoccupied.

The slick sounds coming from your pussy were evidence that the situation was much more of a stimulant than you ever expected, and the sound alone brought you so close to the edge.

“I bet you loved almost getting caught.” He groaned out, his movements stuttering, and you knew he must be close as well. “I bet it was driving you crazy, having to shut up while I gave it to you. You took it so well.” Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head, mouth open, you wouldn’t even be surprised if you were drooling at this point, Leon had all the power now.

“Leon,” You whispered, no energy for your full voice anymore. He understood.

“Take it, baby.” He thrust harder and harder, pressing you flat against the wall, the tip of his cock hitting all the deepest points. “I’m almost there, you feel so good.”

“Fuck, Leon,” If you could grasp any harder against his arms, you just did. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“You got it, come on, cum for me.” He pressed his forehead into yours, grinding into you on the inward thrusts, making you fall apart in his arms. A few more thrusts, grinding a few more times, and a squeeze to your throat had you gasping in a silent scream around him, panting wildly letting your orgasm loose. 

He fucked you all the way through it. “Shit, that felt so good, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” You watched him as he chased his own, sweat beads dripping down his face, his hair coated in it. His hips stuttered one more time, and as he released his seed into you, he buried his face into your neck, whimpering and biting again. 

He pulled out of you, and it wasn’t missed by either of you the way his cum dripped out of you and onto the floor. You cracked a small smile when you heard him breathe a laugh.

“I’m sure that’s not the first time this bathroom has seen that.” He looked back up at you, breathing heavily, arms shaking from holding you up. You tapped his arms, hoping your legs were strong enough to stand on your own. He lowered you slowly, making sure you were stable before letting you go.

“I hope that’s what you wanted. I might have gotten ahead of myself.” He was still standing in front of you, neither of you made moves to leave the stall. You leaned against the wall for support.

“I would have stopped you a long time ago if it wasn’t, Leon.” He smiled down at you, breaths steadying out. He nodded his head.

“Coming to the house any time soon?”

You laughed out loud this time. “I’m sleeping over this weekend.” 

He smiled wider at the sound of your laugh. He leaned in and kissed you again. “Can’t wait.”

[almighty-letu]

You know what time it is - today marks the 8th anniversary of my fic My little test subject and all the other works that take place within the same universe!

8 years... it's a hell of a long time, but I greatly enjoy the work I put into my writing, and of course sharing it on the internet for all of you to enjoy! Even 8 years after I set out on the mission of writing tomtord soap opera I still find within me plenty of fun material to write and explore and I can only hope you guys will enjoy what I have in store for the foreseeable future. Thank you guys so much for all of your support - for the nice comments you leave on my fics, the fangirling in my inbox, the meaningful heart to hearts on my pms, all the lovely fanart, and of course the immeasurable faith you have in me to handle this story and coming along with me on this journey for the last 8 years <3 It means the world to me that you still hold interest in my work and enjoy my content. I work hard to improve myself every day so I can set out to create even more amazing content for you to enjoy - it's the only possible thing I think I can give to you in return as thanks for the support you've shown me over the years.

Today we start the beginning of ACT 2 of Always Gold and the frequent updates. As always, from now on a brand new chapter will be released once every two weeks until I run out of chapters.

Don't forget to check out the official playlist for the fic right here!

My little test subject and Always Gold.

Speaking of which, would you guys rather I move the playlists over to on spotify? Would that be preferable or should I keep it on youtube? Tell me your thoughts!

Chapter 29 of Always Gold is now up!

Featuring special character appearances from:

Terrance by @ianwoodsisadilf

Alexander by @houndbytez

Adrian by @fellow-queer-birdguy

Maya by @leilaniethefirst

Blake Fjellkjede by @artsyjaybird

Cindy by @jekna-karma-lokert

Stella by @depressedbat

Valery wu-sanchez by @sunnyweatherz

Cedar by @collector-of-tommys

Charlotte Hope by @chessb0r3d

Aiden by @tiredthings1

Daisy Whitfield by insomiac-flaffy

Grazhdanskaya by @versace-will-never-be-the-same

Bianca by @salt-apple

Leela Warner by Fanimaniac4ever101

Helios Astor by @local-sourboy

Harriet by @xurviving

Wynter Loyrrox by @sonjuponju

Kai by @faefoundmoon

Amaya by @psychicgoopsuitcasemonger

Thank you for reading, and I'll talk to you guys later. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Boop

[zepskies]

hi! so I had a question, how long did it take you to build a following on tumblr? how long have you been writing for spn as a whole (I assume you started with it but I’m not sure I meant when did you start writing on the app mostly) and do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you for other people? (I hope the wuestion made sense)

Hi there, lovely anon!

Oh, these are great questions, and I'm happy to answer. I'm going to be referencing this post, as someone asked me a similar question.

I also talk a lot about my beginning fanfic/coming to Tumblr experience and building a following in this interview I did with the @idlingintheimpalapodcast.

That being said, here's how I got started in SPN fandom and on Tumblr, and 6 Tumblr Tips related to how I've tried to grow my blog:

Learn How Tumblr Functions

Create a Tag List

Posting Schedules, Announcements, and Sneak Previews

People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements) + shoutouts to blogs I looked to for inspo

Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy

When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs

Deeper dive below the cut:

Writing for SPN & Starting on Tumblr

To be honest, I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to Tumblr. I've written for many different fandoms over the 15 years or so I've been writing fanfic, but I've been writing for Supernatural in particular since around 2015. I wrote on platforms like Fanfiction.net, and later I moved over to Ao3.

I dabbled with Tumblr starting in 2021 while I was working on a Billy Butcher x OC story for the Boys (And So It Goes). But after watching the last season of SPN, I got the SPN bug again, so I started dipping back into the fandom.

But I wasn't really that active on Tumblr until January 2023, when I wrote my first soulmate AU series for Dean Winchester, called Never Say Goodbye (Dean x soulmate!Reader).

That started a very fun journey for me in the Tumblr world, engaging with people and making friends here with awesome people! 💕

Now, here are a few tips on what I've learned in building my following. You don't have to do exactly what I did. This is just my advice based on my personal experience here:

Tip #1: Learn How Tumblr Functions

Everything has been a process of trial and error. I have a professional background in content and social media marketing, so that knowledge has helped me a lot with some elements I'll get into later.

But it took me time to learn the Tumblr landscape. I had to figure out:

Why it's important to reblog -- not just your own work in replying to people's comments, but what you read and enjoy. It's what makes Tumblr go 'round.

The different mobile vs. desktop views and functions.

How to format my posts and use hashtags that would best optimize my fics and posts, based on the most followed tags in the fandom I was writing for.

How to create design elements, like banners, dividers, and headers that matched my aesthetic and the fandom.

Make sure my blog is easy to read, visually, and easy to navigate, technically (links to my masterlists, series masterlists, tag list, my fic library side blog, Patreon, etc.).

I'm still adjusting all these things now and then as I figure out new ways to keep readers engaged, and make my blog as easy to navigate as possible.

Tip #2: Create a Tag List

A tag list is a list of blog users that request to be tagged in your upcoming fics. (See this post on tips for formatting tag lists and optimizing hashtags on posts.)

Some authors don't do tag lists anymore because they find it a hassle (and it can be), but even if you're just starting out, advertise your tag list -- I suggest at the end of a fic and in your bio, your masterlist, and/or navigation page. It will get more eyes on your posts, and hopefully more engagement.

I used Google Forms to build up my tag lists because it's easy to use and it creates a Google spreadsheet for you based on the responses you get (an idea I got from another writer who was doing the same thing). You can also create more sheets within the file to organize the responses by character, for example.

On my tag list, I gave readers options to choose which character they wanted to be tagged on based on the fandoms I write for. I also created tag lists for new series to go with the series masterlist. Like I said above, I created spreadsheets for each of these lists within my tag list form master sheet.

Now, you don't have to do it exactly this way. There are many ways to keep track of a tag list.

Some people may think my approach is too much work, but this was very successful for me in building up my tag lists and increasing my following. Staying organized is key! 🤓✌🏽

I have since created a side blog @zepskieswrites for people to follow with notifications on.

Tip #3: Posting Schedules, Announcements & Sneak Previews

When my blog started to gain traction from my first SPN series, I knew I wanted to post consistently to keep people's interests. For me, this meant once a week (sometimes more if the mood strikes me), to keep that momentum going. YouTube vloggers do the same thing for this reason. They have a set posting schedule and give announcements.

You don't have to post once a week. You don't even have to have a set schedule. That's just what I did last year to increase engagement, but also because I love to write, I was getting inspired, and I made the time for it!

Remember that writing and sharing your work and being a part of the fandom on Tumblr is supposed to be fun! At the same time, what you get out of something depends on how much time you have to put into it.

Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve put a lot of time and energy into my writing and my blog, but only because it’s been very fun to do it! 😉

Now, going back to being consistent. It can help you! When people know they have content waiting for them by a certain timeframe, and they see that you stick to that deadline, they're more likely to tune in and engage with your work.

Of course, real life comes first, always, and things can derail you, but on the whole I make sure that I keep my word when I say I'm going to post something. Tumblr has a scheduling feature that allows you to schedule posts ahead of time, which I use on a daily basis. That can help you as well.

To try and generate buzz around new stories, I give writing updates or announcements, often with sneak previews, and the dates when I plan to drop the upcoming story. When I'm writing a series, on each chapter I give a preview of the next one, so I can try to keep people invested and waiting for the next chapter.

Tip #4: People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements)

A huge element of successful content and social media is visuals. The first thing people are often drawn to when they look at a web page, an ad, or any kind of digital content is the picture -- and any other visual elements. Then they look at the title/headline, followed by the rest of the story.

This is why I always lead with the title of the story/headline and a GIF or image at the top of the post for a story. Draw readers in with their eyes to the visual, and then the content. I now create my own design elements, including story headers.

When I got started here on Tumblr, I also took a closer look at how other popular blogs I admired were organizing their masterlists, formatting their stories with banners, dividers, tags/warnings, word count, creating tag lists, and more -- both to create their blog aesthetic and to make it easier for readers to enjoy their work on different levels -- the content itself, and the visual elements.

Shoutouts to some of those writers I looked to, who have a lovely blog aesthetic and organization: @luci-in-trenchcoats @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Form and function is a balance, and they should work together. For example, there are some design/post formatting elements that are getting popular now on Tumblr that I personally don't vibe with, because I think it takes away from the reader's experience.

Like making the entire post or story in small case. Readers that have trouble seeing small fonts won't want to read this.

or making everything in the story lower case. this just bothers me for grammatical reasons. guarantee i will be turned off from reading. 😂

Also, most people browse Tumblr on their phone rather than on desktop. (About 62% according to current Semrush statistics.) So certain things that are small in your desktop version will be even smaller on mobile.

If you have a custom blog design, some design elements may not transfer well visually on mobile vs. desktop, and vice versa. So you'll want to check both versions to see how it looks, and possibly make adjustments.

Now, this isn't to say you have to become a graphic designer if that's not your thing. There are plenty of people who share their lovely designs for free, as long as you make sure to credit them if you use one of their banners, dividers, etc. Check out @cafekitsune and @firefly-graphics, for example.

Some of them even take requests. Just make sure to check their bio to see if they state whether they're currently taking requests or not. (This also goes for writers on fic requests.)

Tip #5: Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy

This is part of the fun when you start truly engaging with the fandoms you love.

Likes are cool. Comments are wonderful. Reblogs with comments are awesome, because not only do they get that engagement/feedback that they can reply to, but the reblog helps your fellow writers get seen. And while they aren't obligated to, they might be more inclined to do the same for you.

You'll also start to develop relationships within your fandom community. This is how I've made many friends and gained new readers on Tumblr -- by reblogging, sharing, commenting on what I liked about the fics I read. 💜

I try my best to support my fellow writers, no matter how new or how popular they are. Just because a writer has a bigger following, doesn't mean they appreciate feedback any less.

Feedback gives us writers energy and fuels us to write more. It can lead to more inspiration, and to continue the series you might be so invested in.

So if I took the time to read something, if I enjoyed it, I'm usually reblogging it and sharing my thoughts, even if it's just a gif or a couple of lines, or a long raving review. 💖

Tip #6: When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs

Along with supporting my fellow writers, engaging with the lovely people who read my work is just good fun! It's the best part of sharing my work on here and on Ao3. And it lets them know that you value and appreciate them for taking the time to comment and/or comment in a reblog. 💓💓💓

I hope these tips are helpful! Now, to answer your last question...

Do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you

[to build a following] for other people?

Interesting, but the truth is, I'm not sure. My knowledge of content and social media marketing has probably given me a leg up, I think, even though it took me a while to learn the Tumblrscape. I've also been writing fanfic for a long time. Long before I ever heard about Tumblr.

I've spent years studying literature, creative writing, and screenwriting, and putting it into practice. I've spent years writing for other voices besides my own, outside of the fanfic world. Like anyone else, I can only go by what I've learned, my own instincts, my frame of reference, and what I want to write about next.

Like anyone else, I can only hope that what I put out there vibes with people and touches them in some way, enough that they feel comfortable letting me know what they thought about it. 💜

In the meantime, I'll just keep getting inspiration from this guy (and other characters):

[ireadwithmyears]

Ireadwithmyears 300 Follower Milestone Event

Hi, everyone. As discussed and as promised, I am here to bring you my 300 followers milestone fic Writeing event. Rather than just posting a prompt list and letting you pick from those, don’t get me wrong, still fun, but, I wanted to do something that felt a little bit more personal to each of you, as it means a lot to me that anyone is here at all and reading the silly little stories about these wonderful copy paste boys that I write. So, as a thank you, I present...

What are you needing right now? 

Event details 

Send me a request with the following details. 

1: desired clone/clones, if unable to choose.

2: let me know of something that you find yourself in need of, that you feel your favourite clone could give you, in this moment. It could be something that you’re craving mentally, physically or emotionally (specific examples below)

3: be sure to specify if you want your fic to be platonic, a romantic pairing, and if you would like NSFW Content. Also if you would prefer your reader to be fem or gn.

With all of this information, I will Write each of you a story, (I’d like to say on the shorter side, but with me, you never really know, detailing how your clone helps make sure you get exactly what you need in their own unique and caring ways

Rules 

•This event is open to everyone, however, if your request contains NSFW/18+ content, you may not send in that request anonymously. 

•Requests will remain open from February 13 to February 27, 12 AM Eastern after which they will be closed, and I will not be excepting late entries.

•You may request any clones that you would like to. However, you may want to familiarize yourself with my masterlist so that you are aware of who I am most comfortable with before requesting, so as to not be met with potential disappointment if a character who I have not written for before does not turn out the way you’d hoped. Not to say that I won’t write for characters who I haven’t written for before. This is absolutely not the case. I would be happy to, because there’s a first time for everything. However

•The rarer the clone is, legends clones ET see, the less comfortable I will be with writing them. So I would appreciate a variety of options to pick from, just in case I am not comfortable with fulfilling your main option.

•I would love to write more for any of the bad batch members, which you by no means are obligated to stick with, but I’m just saying 😉

•Please reblog the finished product once I have posted your request.

Examples 

You don’t need to stick with any of these examples, however, if you’re looking for some inspiration, here are some prompts. 

Right now, I need...

Someone to give me a hug 

Someone to wrap me in a warm blanket 

Someone to make me home-cooked food.

Someone to do *insert Something fun I enjoy* With me

Someone to make me stop neglecting my health/basic human needs. 

Someone who makes me feel safe enough to rest and take a break 

Someone to make me feel loved/wanted/desired 

Someone who I can make feel loved/Wanted/desired 

Someone to comfort me when I’m upset/sad/all the nasty emotions that us humans are forced to suffer through 

Slow, tender sex 

Fast, rough sex 

To let someone worship my body 

To worship someone else’s body 

You get the picture? Great. I want to leave this as open as possible. So if you want to get specific, you can, as much as you’re comfortable with. On the flipside, if you want to keep things simple, you can absolutely use one of the prompts above, or create your own. Whatever sparks your fancy.

Again, thank you so much for 300 followers. I hope this event can bring you some joy or happiness, or whatever you might be needing at the moment.💞

[lyxvija]

For lovely Anon! 💚

First, sorry this took me longer, but I couldn't contain myself again and went overboard. The relationship HCs are a bit random since there are so so many to talk about D:

Anywayyy here we go! (It is the middle of the night, I am tired and if I were to proofread it would take me so much longer so: warning for errors)

Infos about the Three One Shots, Relationship HCs and Extra of Big Bug Boyfriend One Shot 2

Infos

The three One Shots were inspired by me simping with mutuals and writing:

Getting licked by big bug Mam affectionately

Getting licked by big bug Mam frighteningly

Getting licked by big bug Mam lewdly

Since it still takes some time (Ahhhh wayyy tooo muuuch) to write Mammon in his monster form in Finders Keepers, I decided to write these three little unrelated One Shots with a gender-neutral reader. At first I wanted to make em afab!reader/Mammon, but thought it´s totally possible to write them gender-neutral so everyone not into fem!reader can enjoy some Mam content too.

The three OS can be seen as having the same reader or being unrelated. I didn't have any specific background story in mind, so people can insert their own characters better. :3

(It does have potential to become a more lose less plot intense Fanfic, but I am kinda tied to the two Mammon fic, future two Mammon fics, and my stories from other fandoms.)

................................................................................................

My HCs about Mammon x Reader (very much the same as FK, but the plot influences the dynamic pretty much, so it takes very long to get to a relationship basis. Tbh it really depends on the backstory of Mammon and Reader, but for BBBf I have chosen a healthy basis.)

Mammon is Aro Ace. Yep! The big spooder boy doesn't crave any romantic bonds nor does he need sex. Mammon likes sex for fun but could go without it for centuries if he is really invested in another project. (Like him inventing the concept of casinos had him hooked for centuries that sex was the last thing on his mind)

So when reader/you came along and at one point fell for you he was more than overwhelmed on what to do. Every approach and interaction would either be kinda out of instinct OR motivated by his Greed to get you to be his.

(Remember: Aro and Ace are a spectrum. It doesn't mean peeps can't have relationships or don´t want sex!)

- Dating Mammon:

It can be either heaven or hell. Depending on how you two get together! If he gets attached to you, he´d become very clingy, show off and you better say goodbye to your personal space. Honestly, he doesn't even realize he is overstepping all the time. He rarely questions why he wants something or why he wants to hold you all the time or fidget with parts of your body with his four greedy hands. Mammon is a ruler of hell, so he doesn't give a shit how people perceive him. As long as it does not impact sales, he couldn't care less.

As long as he doesn't recognize these aching feelings as having a crush on you, he'd never initiate anything similar to dating behavior. The big spooder man would do anything to keep you close, keep others off you, and just follow what his heart tells him to do to keep on having these fluffy feelings in his chest. Maybe you´d have to help him connect the dots.

Mam is not that dumb but misses many things cause his brain is solely focused on chasing the high of his Sin. It is like an addiction. Basically, as soon as he catches feelings for you, his Greed would also get involved and get more intense (worse) over time.

With or without your help, as soon as he is aware that he is infected with what people call “love” he´d start trying to impress you… with his influence, he can create various situations to get you into a “romantic” setting. (whatever he sees as romantic)

Mammon´s love language/ How he shows affection:

Possessiveness. Yes, you read right. Possessing things is the best feeling in the world for him. So getting you into his web would be his number one priority. Doesn't sound very loving or safe, cause it isn't. Greed is a Sin and it WILL influence your relationship. It's destructive. He hates to share you and wants all of you for himself. Depending on how well you are able to maneuver through his manipulation tactics and if you are headstrong as a person, the basis for your relationship would be either your demise or actually have somewhat healthy potential. He'd actually be absolutely excited if you showed you like being his and also the other way around! While he looks like the biggest dom, he´d be down on his knees if you call him yours, give him pet names, and call him your big sweet bug. At some point you could even get him a collar with the words: “Y/N´s property” and he´d not take it off and wear it 24/7 under his Jester suit. You “owning” him is the biggest declaration of love you could make.

Mammon would shower you with gifts as soon as he sees you as his. Owning you means being a part of him, so he´d try and make you happy with getting what you desire. While he´d be a major dick and has no sense of being polite, because he doesn't care about anyone but himself, you could still teach him some manners and social conscience. Good luck though, you will need it.

Breaking up with Mammon or Running away

Lol, we saw how that one would go down. He'd basically hunt you down! In the second one shot you fled, because you thought he was about to kill you off for burning tons of his cash by accident. In this case, he thought you got abducted! He mobilized Greed's whole Mafia to track you down.

If you were to run away since you realized you were indeed not fit to be Greed´s s.o. , he´d be more than desperate to chase you through all of hell to get you back. His actions would range between pleading for you to come back to him cause he can't be without you and going full-on yandere for you. Depending on how toxic you like your Mammon he´d even trap you inside his castle and keep you as a pet, cause he simply could not let you go.

IF you broke up with him he´d be more than salty about it. He´d go through the FOUR STAGES OF GREED: denial, anger, bargaining, depression. Acceptance will never come. XD He will be stuck in an endless cycle of these four stages. The worst ex you can imagine. If it weren't hell, I'd advise you to go into a monastery, since he won´t let anyone else have you. If he was mad at you too when you broke up, it would be a lot easier though. Still, having a Deadly Sin as an ex is still the worst jackpot you could hit.

Healthy relationship HCs:

You'd be in good hands when it comes to health, food, and living conditions. He'd make sure that you get anything you´d desire. What´s the advantage of having THE clown as a bf? HAVING A CLOWN AS A BF. He´d be silly for you. He might not perform anymore, but holy guacamole… if you adore/enjoy his silly little acts, he´d do them just for you. Making you smile would be all the motivation he needs to get up and running for you. Since he is not the best when it comes to talking about emotions(he is outright terrible when it comes to love), he'd try to cheer you up with jokes and smashing pie in his own face. JUST LAUGH AGAIN, PLEEAASEEEE. He hates to see you cry!

He is a silly big spider. Fooling around like in the first chapter is adorable. He might not shower you with sweet words, but he would do these silly little acts to show his absolute devotion. (It makes you laugh so he sees that as an absolute win.)

Touched starved 24/7. His hands are always on you. Never letting you go. He´d be an absolute cuddle bug. Even if you were busy, he'd follow you around like a Pokemon. If you had to do paperwork, he´d even offer you to sit on his lap or between his legs (not like that you pervert) and let you use his luxurious office desk as long as he is allowed to wrap his arms around you, play with his phone and yap about everything and nothing.

The major pro about him being clingy: HE WILL MASSAGE YOU. That man knows how to stroke each muscle to make people comfortable! (Totally not a manipulation technique.) Since his hands are on you all the time and need constant stimulation or else he will explode into confetti, he will randomly start to massage you. Just like that. You will melt into his soft side by his sweet and tender touch.

Okay I think that is enough for now. 😀

Now to the BBBf chap 2 ending:

You needed some time to recover from this horrid week. Mammon would not leave your side. You disappearing without a trace unlocked new fears he didn't even know his heart could feel. Imagine…for hours he was digging through the ruins and with every dead body he and the staff found his heart stopped thinking it could be you. He went crazy. Not prepared to lose what he grew so fond of. You were the first he let get so close to him. Let him discover new feelings that were so alien at first, only to have your sweet little self ripped away from him. The mental image of you suffering a horrible death made him go nuts. He had seen and was also responsible for the death of many hellborn. Mammon couldn't bear the thought of finding your body twisted and crushed between the thick rubble. You, on the other hand, had interpreted his desperate screams as him trying to find and end you. It would take you both MONTHS to recover from this. Mammon is being extra careful and you are so deeply grateful for him loving you so much at this point. You often questioned if you weren't just a plaything for him, but that event had taught you otherwise. In hindsight, you felt absolutely horrible for thinking so badly about him. With his whole focus on you, Mammon would absolutely sense that something is off. (He IS able to read people like an open book as long as his focus is truly on it.) However, you refused to tell him. Mammon would think he´d either done something wrong or that you still suffered from the trauma these goons inflicted on you. At one point he´d blame himself, thinking you didn't feel safe around him anymore since he failed to protect you. You got abducted ON HIS PROPERTY. IN HIS RING. Silly spooder thought he broke the fragile trust you had built up. A Deadly Sin, one of THE most powerful creatures in hell, unable to protect their lover… He´d apologize to you, go down on his knees. In his big form he´d cover before you like a remorseful dog, laying on the ground flat. Congrats, he´d even start to whine and whistle. He couldn't protect what was his. The one demon known for defending what was his failed so miserably and he can never make up for it. So at one point, you had to tell him, to end both of your suffering. While Mammon was relieved to hear you were in no danger at any time (except the explosion) he would be devastated about the real reason.

He did not break your trust, but you were running away from him because you were afraid of him? Wait… THAT WAS WORSE?! You seriously thought he would kill you! THIS WAS HORRIBLE. He would just stare at you, making you nervous since you had no idea how he was going to react. Would he get mad? Would he throw you out since you lied to him and caused all this mess and put him through so much in the first place? At the same time, you could smack yourself for taking the very same mental path that had led you into this mess in the first place!

Mammon would just remain unmoving. Images flashed through his mind. When he arrived at that rundown ghetto. When he saw you running away from him. How you fled from him, screaming. You never were in some kind of primal survival mode… all this time you were running from him! Covering on the floor, fearing for your life. When he picked you up, you were thrashing around, begging for him to spare you. Never once had you lost your mind, you firmly believed he was there to hurt you. THERE WAS NO TRUST TO BEGIN WITH. It would take Mammon so long to mentally digest that he started to dissociate a little. He somehow had lost you that day... but not in the way he had thought. You see him as a danger… although you two shared so many tender moments together. HE NEVER HAD DONE THAT WITH ANYBODY. Yeah, to you it wasn't much, but to him, this was a big deal! So you had no idea what him doing all those tiny things for you actually meant? What a big deal was that MAMMON was down on his knees for a hellborn? Sharing a bed repeatedly?? Allowing SOMEONE to come close to him. Physically and emotionally. If the other sins saw any of it, they wouldn't believe their eyes. When he got up, turned around, and left with the words “Gimme a minute” you knew how bad it was. Nobody managed to turn the energetic Mammon speechless… him showing no emotions was scary.

Good news: after another talk, you could assure him, you were feeling inferior to him before the event already. Tried to tell him that the enormous gap between status and power had taught you to feel like vermin around a royal. Mammon was not dumb. He was absolutely aware of the harsh hierarchy in hell, but somehow “forgot” about it when it came to you. Not your and his fault then. Couldn't blame you, since he would totally crush any hellborn´s head if they were to displease him in terms of his royal title. Yeah… may he have done that in front of you too…FUCK.

However, the two of you were able to sort it out. The big guy would even make sure to respect your boundaries more. That shit freaked you out. Mammon and not constantly overstepping??! HELP, he is malfunctioning! If he continues, he´ll probably poof into confetti and respawn in his default mode from thousands of years ago!

But psssst! Mammon only causes new fears: “Y/N would run away and leave me when scared” and “As long as they think I am a danger to them, they will never love me and therefore I can never HAVE them.”

If you start becoming more comfortable in showing affection, he´d start being a cheeky bastard again. Don´t worry.

[demigodpolls]

May I ask how fics are being evaluated? Like in order to be included in the collection, what are they being "graded" on? Thank you for hosting the project I think it's great!!!

that's a great question! click here if you don't know what this ask is talking about. my answer is pretty lengthy, but I hope that you'll find something useful in its contents!

grammar is definitely going to be a big thing. certainly, grammar isn't everything. I've read many excellent works from non-native english speakers who occasionally struggle with grammar conventions, but still succeed in expressing ideas and emotions in an engaging way; however, the collection isn't being made solely with the intention of promoting fanfic writers - it's also to recommend quality works to readers! so if the story has noticeably poor grammar, then unfortunately, it probably won't end up in the collection.

sentence flow and structure is also going to be a big consideration. have you guys ever read a fanfic where it's written like, "Leo walked to the park. He had always loved going to the park. His mom would bring him to the park on Sundays. He was really excited to be going there again." there's nothing grammatically incorrect within a sentence like this, but it lacks rhythm and creates a dull reading experience. again, this is not the sole criteria being considered, but fanfics that excel in the nitty-gritty sentence/paragraph construction will definitely have a leg up on those that don't.

to help convey what I mean, I'll show you this famous piece of writing advice from gary provost:

character writing is definitely a big consideration. now, here's my thing: I actually have more disdain for people who operate with an attitude of, "I perfectly understand this character. my way of conceptualizing them is best. all of you are so wrong, stop writing them like that and start doing it like this," than I have disdain for people who gleefully enjoy their own configurations of the characters in their own way. I think it's really lame to tell people what to do with their own headcanons and interpretations, and that doing so makes fandom much less fun.

at the same time, we have to acknowledge how fanon (or canon) transforms characters into oversimplified versions of themselves. I think all of us have witnessed percy being written by others into some big dumb himbo guy (when he's actually very clever and solves problems with his brain all the time), but this stylization of his character does gets criticized a lot on tumblr. what about other characters, though? what about hazel being written as a soft, ultra-shy cinnamon roll, when she quite possibly has the most egregious pottymouth on the argo ii? what about her short temper and barely-held-back aggression towards people who offend her and her friends? or what about piper, so often portrayed as a flirty, fashionable party girl, when in canon, she hates attention, avoids it like the plague, goes out of her way to make herself "less" attractive, and never really had any friends growing up?

I am definitely not the end-all-be-all judge of "correct" portrayals of PJO characters - but when I say that character writing is going to be considered, I'm saying that I'm looking for nuanced portrayals of characters that don't reduce them to exaggerated representations of their "core" traits. I'm not really going to care if a person has small conflicts with canon in their writing (i.e., saying that frank has ADHD, when all he's got is lactose-intolerance), because the broader portrayal of who they are is what I'll be looking at.

I will also be looking for good plot progression. let me tell you guys the story of the worst fanfic I've ever read in my life: it's a slice-of-life modern day AU. two characters who don't know each other well had a one night stand, resulting in one of them getting pregnant. they decided to keep the baby, and the father decided to work hard, turn their life around, and become a better person for their upcoming child. while all of this was happening, they began to feel real affection for each other and started to fall in love. and then, after twenty-ish chapters of cute slow burn--you're not ready for this--the baby was born, and then the mother was assassinated. apparently, the father had an evil stalker all along, who was extremely jealous of the mother and wanted to be the baby's parent instead. the assassin was an OC. none of this was set up prior, just no hint whatsoever over the course of a 100k word low-stakes story. this was a normal world AU where assassins don't even belong in average, everyday life. the story ended a few chapters later, and the father went on to raise the child alone.

fanfiction is a medium where people usually don't have a firmly-structured plan for lengthy stories. a lot of the time, writers have a handful of story beats in their head to start with, and then they make up the rest as they go along. generally, I don't think this is a big deal - but sometimes, the lack of planning really shows, and it's of severe detriment to the overall story. the core issue of the above fanfic wasn't even the assassination itself (although it was tonally dissonant), it was the fact that it didn't make any sense for the story to escalate to that extreme level when nothing had been done to set it up first. you might think that the aforementioned fanfic is a rarity, but I'm actually very biased towards long, 80k+ word fanfictions. I read them a lot, and I see stuff like this more often than you'd think.

I really don't need anyone to reinvent the wheel with their story plots! a simple, predictable flower shop au is genuinely fine with me, because as long as it progresses in a sensible way, it can be a fun time! but if you're selling me a cutesy flower shop au and then, completely out of nowhere, a love interest gets assassinated by an evil stalker that's been obsessed with one of the characters for years, I will have NO choice but to launch a petition to have AO3 delete your account /j

lastly, I'd say that I'm looking for the emotions within the work. why do people go out of their way to read angst, even though it can be so depressing? it's because emotions are powerful, and so often, we crave stories that make us feel something. this applies to fluffy romance, angst, comedies, stories about friendship/platonic love, action/adventure, character studies, and so on. at the same, there's definitely a distinction to be made between properly emotional works and stories that """try too hard""" (I don't know how else to phrase this) to be emotional. for the most part, it's a setup and payoff thing!

all of this probably sounds like really harsh grading - to be clear, I don't think that fanfiction needs to be anything other than fiction created by fans. I know that everyone has to start somewhere, some people are just doing it for fun, and not everyone is confident in their writing skills - but they try, anyway, and that is always admirable. I swear I'm not some literary elitist - however, with this collection, I want to give acclaim to exceptional fanfic writers, as well as make it easier for readers who have trouble finding works that fit the above specifications.

I'm thinking that the collection will probably have a top 3 or top 5 of 2024 overall (not ranked, just a general categorization), and then everything else will be sorted by ships/lack thereof. I really appreciate your interest in the project, so thank you for asking!

- demigodpolls

[waywardstation]

WOW! What a way to return back here!

With lots of treats and possibly some asks answered in the upcoming days (no worries if this gets lost in the shuffle during all of this)

Just wanted you to know that it’s good to have you back here and that you’re back with a big update as well! Felt like receiving a bunch of presents when I read the new chapters!

I love the dynamic between Ingo and Phione and how much different the overall atmosphere feels and changes before and after Ingo finds out. And how each chapter emphasizes how frail, small and vulnerable Phione actually is. It’s only fitting that the Murkrow chapter being the last of the bunch!

Also Ingo's voice being worn out after all his searching really tells a lot. I kinda imagine it takes a lot to make him hoarse since he is rather loud so his voice being pretty worn out also shows how much he pushed his limits as well. It’s been obvious overall but this kind of makes the picture complete.

I could go on and on about how much I love all the little things that I‘d be here for days. But I want you to know how much I appreciate your updates and how grateful I am that you took your time and rested when you needed to.

I hope you’re doing also better overall. Try not to overdo things for now. Do take small steps. As you’ve planned right now actually sounds not too bad.

Alright enough from me! Looking forward to seeing you on my dashboard more frequently in the upcoming days! Thank you for the treats and have a great day!

Take care and stay awesome!

in regards to my recent works for my Phione Akari AU

Thank you so much friend!! I'm very happy you've enjoyed all the fics; I have many more WIPs coming that I'm cleaning up right now as well, so more will be here soon!

And likewise, it's felt like a bunch of presents seeing all of the notes and comments you have left on my reblogs and works and all the encouragement you've given me; I still very much enjoy creating and sharing this content just because I have so much fun with it and will keep doing it regardless, but reading your thoughts and commentary have felt really rewarding and motivating ;w; (and I will respond to them as soon as I can too!)

I'm really happy you appreciate all of the details I've put into it, it's been fun picking different points where their dynamic is different based on what they do or don't know at that moment! And I really emphasize just how fragile a phione is because whenever I look the pokemon up for information, I just get SO MANY videos and posts about how terrible and useless and disliked phione is as a pokemon (viably, at least). It's kind of funny to me haha

And about Ingo losing his voice in one of the chapters - EXACTLY!! I did give it to him cause I was dealing with a sore throat myself at the time of writing it and was taking it out on him lol, but Ingo obviously has a very loud, strong voice. If he used it to the point of losing it, he used it A LOT. He's not maintaining himself, and I did think taking away something of his that is normally so strong would sell that well. I'm glad it did!

Overall, thank you so much for the supportive and genuine things you always say in my inbox and reblogs. It means SO MUCH to me and it makes me happy that I've seemingly been able to give you something back that you enjoy after you've given me so much patience and understanding when I couldn't!! I plan to still take it easy as I continue getting better, but I'm happy I'm at a point where things can actually move again ^^

You're welcome, but honestly thank you just as much!!! I hope you have a wonderful day too!!

[loderlied]

Hey- I sometimes see you on my dash and I see you express that patches are gonna make you have to change stuff about your fic. I don't know you and it's not my business, but I think it would be a shame if you did that. Stranger's opinion, but if you've been working on this before whatever hypothetical content was patched in, then it seems like your thing is like. Super canon valid because it's based in what was canon at the time a lot of the work was planned, right? Like, people write fic predicting the future of serial works all the time, and if Larian is going to fiddle like this, you deserve to give yourself the grace possessed by an ff.net writer going absolutely fucking ham predicting the end of Naruto. Cringe example but like. You know what I mean? Your thing is valid and fun and meaningful to you and even if it branches from canon in the future nothing ever can adhere perfectly anyway, that's just the nature of transformative works, that they transform. I mean this as super gently as possible, but I think you kinda got that BG3 fan thing where you're scared if Larian doesn't sign off on your fan work it's not valid and you have to trash it, and like. That's not a thought that's good for anyone. You deserve to treat yourself better than that. I know it's hard with niche works but you gotta murder the creator approval guy in your head with hammers and stuff. I will psychically murder that guy for you as best as I can too. Anyway wishing you the best and hope you can find a way to take the edge off the anxiety and stuff 💕💕💕

i super appreciate this!! but i don’t really need larian to sign off on my fan work (in fact i would hate my story becoming canon just as vehemently as i do this.), what i need is for my interpretation (key word here) to just. make sense within the lore/story/plot/canon presented, y’know? it has to plausible, believable. i don’t need larian’s or anyone’s stamp of approval (except my own of course) but i do want people to look at my work & be able to go ‘i see where your interpretation is coming from’ basically. which is obviously not possible if that ship were to become canon in some way. but again, i super appreciate the kind words anon, and those from everyone that are similar, but the kind of person i am cannot enjoy creating fanwork if it derives from canon that much. like enaza is genuinely my absolute limit—they were only created so i didn’t have to change zeke’s character to be more charismatic and all, their role in the grand scheme of things is still tiny but squashed into the plot in a way that every event in canon can still perfectly occur, and it still irks me a lot every day since i made them. even if it was at one point making sense and isn’t anymore, it’s the now that’s most important in the end. i’m sorry! that’s simply the kind of person i am.

[hisokas-toybox]

PSA (and a poll!)

For anyone interested, below the cut is an update on my current hxh fics as well as possible future plans for this blog going forward.

Friends, it's happened.

After almost 4 years of Hunter x Hunter being my number 1 reigning champion of an obsession, my hype for it has subsided and a new anime hyperfixation is beginning to emerge in its place. Whilst not a new show, my husband and I decided to start watching Bleach together and it's... sinking it's teeth into me. I'm a LONG way off finishing the series, but so far there are hot characters I wanna smash, cute pairings I ship, a HUGE cast of (mostly) interesting and lovable characters that I just enjoy as they are, some interesting plots and enough nonsense in between to fill me with all kinds of inspiration and excitement to start writing a whole new load of Bleach fanfics...

But hisokas-toybox! What about your existing unfinished fics??? And the Greed Island server you literally just joined and all the exciting hxh fandom activity and friends you love so much? How can you just abandon us so easily for pretty men with fancy swords???

Unfortunately, I do not control the hyperfixations. Or the thirsting over pretty anime boys...

I do however, still love all of my hxh fandom friends and the hxh community, so whilst I will be stepping back from creating new hxh works for a little while, I will still keep reading and appreciating all the fic/headcanons/drabbles/memes/theorys/art that you guys make and I'm of course still reading the latest manga chapters as they come out. As for my existing fanfics and creative endeavours, here's the rough breakdown of where I'm at with them

Turning Point - Extended Hiatus.

Ohhh this fic.... I both want and fully intend to finish it.

Someday.

The problem is I have literally no ending planned for it... When I started writing Turning Point there were several key scenes which I was desperate to write. I (stupidly) assumed that once I got those ideas down, and had my OC's character kind of fleshed out that the rest of the story would magically reveal itself to me...

It did not.

Currently, I do not know where this story is going or what the 'end' is going to be... I love what I have so far, but my inexperience in writing and failure to plan ahead has really got me stuck.

I will come back to this story at some point and hopefully, with fresh eyes be able to make something out of it.

Hopes and Fears - In progress/mini hiatus

Unlike Turning Point, I have this story fully planned out. I just need to write it.

Because of my waning interest in hxh as a series, and just because of life in general being a bit busy lately, I haven't had the time/motivation to sit down and add to the story.

I do very much plan to finish it though and I deeply appreciate all the love and kind comments its got so far. I genuinely didn't expect anyone to read it, let alone stick with it and enjoy it. I swear I will give you all an ending to it (One I hope you all love and that's worth waiting for)!

Greed Island Server Challenge - Ehhh *Shrugs*

It's fun. Everyone on the server is lovely and there is some MAD talent happening over there which I admire. Unfortunately, short deadlines for creative projects is HARD and NOT my strong-suit. I'll come back to it, but I'm a little burnt out art-wise after the Poor Man's Rose event and with my hxh interest lower than it was before, I'm struggling for the inspiration needed for new artwork.

This here sideblog - Hisokas-toybox is not going anywhere

This blog still exists and I'll always be lurking around. However there may be less activity than when it started up.

I am currently considering branching it out a little and sharing some Bleach content on here (especially if I do start writing/creating art for it) alongside the hxh content but that depends on what you want to see....

Which brings me to the aforementioned poll...

[k-s-morgan]

TW: Honest (bit harsh) opinion about Tomarry fanfics!

Do you mind if I rant a little Kat? I'm currently in the hunt of good Tomarry fanfics (all 7k of them on ao3: slash and no fem!Harry for now), and honestly a lot of what I read, even some that are popular (10k+ Kudos...) are just BAD. A lot LOT LOOOOT of writers just don't know how to frame Tom/Voldemort's character with all his flaws, personality disorders, qualities, wits and charisma... Seriously, it's borderline cringy sometimes, especially the kid/teenager Tom in the time-travel tropes or the redeemed Voldemort who is suddenly a do-no-wrong! I cannot stand it as a picky reader. I appreciate their dedication and effort, I also have some fanfic ideas that I would love to write but I still won't allow myself to until I study psychology, personality disorders and even child development in depth so that i put out quality content. Isn't research part of the writing process? Only a handful (for now) have managed to really nail the darkness of Tom/VM and twisted romance (about 7 including you). I know I will be told "don't read them then", but this is just my opinion feel free to disagree.

No problems, rants are always welcome!)) I understand what you mean. I’m a picky reader myself, and in most fandoms, I don’t like the majority of even the most top-rated stories. Just, they don’t work for me at all.

In the end, though, I think it comes down to our subjective preferences as readers vs. writers’ motivation for writing something. Every reader is going to look for something specific. Like you, I favor darker, more canonical versions of Tom, and when I encounter his innocent depictions, in most cases, I reject them. At the same time, despite not liking good!Tom, I love dark!Harry a lot. There is no logic here because dark!Harry goes against canon as much as good!Tom does, yet I love the former and dislike the latter. Many people hate both; others love both. It’s difficult to understand why this happens, it’s just how it is. In my other fandom, Shadowhunters, both protagonists are good. I can read about a dark version of MC1 (Magnus) but not the other (Alec). No idea why. 

Similarly, writers treat writing in very different ways. Some strive to create canon-compliant narratives with perfectly canonical characters; others prefer complete AUs rooted in research; many writers simply want to have fun. They don’t care about realism or canon or historical accuracy, they just share their ideas and enjoy the process. Research can be a part of fanfiction, but it’s not obligatory - fics aim to bring joy and provide entertainment. I’m sure that for absolutely every fic, there is at least one person who is going to love it. 

Love, I think, is the main motivator for writers. They are passionate about characters, they want to share their dramas, joy, porn without plot, humor, etc., and so they do it - just because they want to. If they loved writing their story, whatever it is, it’s already rewarding. 

For instance, maybe someone wanted to redeem Tom or Voldemort as soon as possible - this was their major goal for writing because they liked the idea, related to Tom on a personal level & wanted to explore this hope for a quick redemption, were simply bored or curious about this kind of plot. People also have different perceptions: for example, sometimes I read a story about a serious argument between the characters and I feel like it was resolved too unbelievably quickly. I grow frustrated, go to see what other people said, and discover that mostly everyone loved the resolution and felt it was realistic. 

WHGTB is similar in this regard. Some people side with Tom; some side with Harry. Whatever the resolution is in the last chapter, I have no doubts there will be those who’ll hate it. Some will think it’s unfair to Tom; others will think it’s unfair to Harry or to both or to the story as a whole. I actually saw someone discuss how Tom became too good and they lost interest in reading - but there are other people who think Tom remains a monster. There are no writers or readers with wrong positions in these scenarios, people just perceive things very differently from one another.  

Of course, some stories are written with more skills than others - age and experience can play big roles here. I’m embarrassed of many things I wrote in the past, but at the time, I thought they were pretty great :D As readers, we can’t automatically know who wrote what and why, but all stories have their audience. It’s unfortunate to be unable to find enough fics I specifically would like - I probably like 1 fic in every 10 I read, but I’m grateful for the ones I do enjoy, and there is always writing. It’s so gratifying to write and express my vision. Besides, every writer contributes to the extended life of their fandom, whether they have a wide or small circle of readers. 

I hope you’ll start writing when you feel like it and that the process will bring you a lot of joy, too! Writing can be pure magic.  

[mydeslexicworld]

It's been nearly a month since this all went down, and just when I thought the fires have cooled someone sent a comment that just...sigh...

Here is my reply to that person and I will not be responding to anymore like it after this:

I took a bit to respond, because I wanted to do to it both as kindly as possible and make sure my thoughts are conveyed clearly

I will address your message in parts:

What did you expect?

Respect as the author for the time and effort I put into my fanfics. A chance to show something a little different from the norm.

I'll admit, I made the mistake of thinking others read like me. If there is a Fanfic author I like and they use tags or pairings I hate, I will still give their story a shot because I like their storytelling style and want to see how they do it.

I had nievely hoped this would happen with me. I forgot readers can be quite stingy with what they like. I will be more mindful in the future.

It's an easy fix, why are you making it a big deal?

Writing does not come easy to me as someone with severe dyslexia. But none of you know that, because we're strangers on the internets. I have worked hard to develop my writing style, came up with tricks to overcome my disability, and use tools to get closer to the vision of the story I want to tell.

What is easy for one person is not easy for someone else.

Don't you know many RadioApple shippers don't like Lilith?

One of the wonderful and equally frustrating parts of Fandom is everyone's love for the characters. We want to see them in all sorts of scenarios, which leads us to create and share content.

Shipping is by far the most poplar form of content, and, in my opinion, it is also the most viciously protected by fans.

As Fanfic writers, of course, you need to know what is and isn't poplar within the Fandom. Here's the thing, we're going to write it anyways, because we a) haven't seen that story yet and so decided to write it or b) the plot bunnies demand it.

There's an audience for everything.

Why did you pull a bait and switch?

That wasn't my intention. I also had no idea how many people were invested in the story.

At the time, I didn't have that many comments or kudos on any of the pervious chapters to clue me in that there were more people reading than I realized.

I was also very open with the fact I was writing this series as I went with little to no planning ahead. I can't stress this enough: This series was also 100% meant to be a fun little side project, next to my main story. Again, I was open with this fact when asked, and I'm sure I put that in an author's note somewhere.

When I decided to pivot to RoyalRadio, it's because I wanted to try something different. I was excited to share the new direction, and I knew some people might not like the change. So I gave a polite heads up.

I did not expect the blow up. I haven't seen that on other fanfics. Even fics that failed to tag properly didn't get as much hate in their comment section as I did. It was unreal, and frankly, I wasn't going to seat around and be a punching bag because of an unpopular ship.

Why not stick to what everyone wants?

To create, you have to find some joy in it too. I am writing and sharing because I want to, and if I don't enjoy it, the story dies.

It is a slippery slop to give into others demands. To seek validation from others. If you're not careful, you can put your creativity at the mercy of others and lock it behind a pay wall for compliments that may never come.

I've been done that road before. I'd much rather enjoy writing and the whole frustrating process of editing.

Could this have all been handled better?

No. I didn't do anything wrong.

I am writing a story I want to tell. I communicated with my audience as often as I could about the direction of my story. How they take the information is on them. Since the response was overwhelmingly negative, I took the best course of action I could.

And I will continue to do so.

The end:

If you made it this far- firstly thanks for reading. I hope I've made my self clear on this whole matter.

The last thing I want to address in your comment is about seeing anyone as pathetic.

I don't. People like what they like. I respect that.

What I don't respect is telling an author who has invested huge amounts of their time and effort into writing something, you're DNFing their work to their face.

It's hurtful. It's discouraging. It's frustrating. Those words feeds the little insecurity demons that tell me "I'm not good enough", and "No one wants to read what I write"

Demons I've spent years beating down with bloody knuckles and spite. Once again, we're strangers on the internet to each other and none of you know the absolute bullshit I've gone through to become the writer I am today.

That is why my joy comes before others, because no one else is looking out for it but me.

I understood everyone's frustrations. I respect everyone's tastes. I took all the comments into consideration and determined I would continue to write the story I want.

If that means less readers..

If that means loss of trust...

If that means people put me on their DNF list...

That's okay. I'm fine with it.

What's important to me is my joy. Without it there is no story.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63172471

The next installment of The Worst Kept Secret is out!

Just ahead up to everyone, I plan to pivot this series to RoyalRadio. I am looking forward to writing a ploy relationship, but if you're only here for RadioApple, I completely understand.

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

[doomspiral]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by @lithugraph and proving i don't know how to use a computer OOPS

What book are you currently reading?

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I enjoyed the new batman movie! art films rule.

What do you usually wear?

neutrals and jewel tones and i like to be business-fancy.

How tall are you?

5’4”?

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? 

Cancer, wouldn't you like to know weather-boy?

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

Nickname technically, most people do not refer to me by my name.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

YES I DID AND THEN I HATED IT AND QUIT! YOU GUYS ARE LUCKY I STILL DRAW AT ALL! There is a reason I don't take commissions anymore.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

Open relationship, polyam.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm good at warping reality around me, I am bad at doing this any time but the last possible moment.

Dogs or cats?

cats

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

I do write. Here's a bit from Call To Alms you won't see for another year;

What’s something you would like to create content for?

I have had this star wars tfa au fic planned out since before the ship was dubbed "kylux" (shout out to the trash compactor fandom). Maybe one day I will actually write it!

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? 

Hetalia, clearly, but also Becoming That Bitch.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

I wouldn't admit to this one under oath, dude.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

Hidden? That I am insane in a specific way where I decide something is going to go a certain way, and then I make it so while using theory of causation to hedge my fucking bets.

Are you religious?     

Yes I have Jesus brain poisoning, but in the way mystics and heretics do.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

EU citizenship lol

Tagging: @roszabell @morgenlich @arschbiene @icarusian Do it or don't!! All fun.

[elf-trash]

A case for fan fiction

I'm a writer working on an original novel that I intend to try to get published. Here's why I think writing fan fiction is an excellent exercise for writers at any stage of their career.

It's GREAT practice. If you do more of something, you get better at it. And if you have an idea for a fic that you keep thinking about, why would you actively stop yourself from writing something you actually WANT to write? They say to write what's at the front of your brain, and if that's a fic idea, just write it! Visual artists sketch existing characters all the time for inspiration or for practice, and one could argue that writing fanfiction is essentially the same thing but in literary form.

Specifically, it's great practice at writing character voice. Trying to match the speaking style, mannerisms, and personality of an existing character is a unique challenge, and it forces you as a writer to become more aware of and intentional about these things! It's definitely strengthened the way I think about and characterize my original characters, and helped me make them each unique and consistent.

It's like decorating a house versus building it from the ground up. Since the characters, scenarios, and world-building are often provided to you ready-made, it's an opportunity to practice simple things like prose, dialogue, and characterization without having to worry as much about creating the entire scaffolding to support it.

It's an opportunity to try things you may not put in a piece of writing you intend to publish. Smut scenes are the obvious funny answer here, but another example I can think of that I've encountered in writing my own fic is that it's made me much better at writing and describing action scenes! And just generally, because I know from the get-go that I'm not writing my fic to publish, I allow myself to try things and experiment in ways that I wouldn't necessarily do in my original work.

It can help you reconnect with your love for writing. There's something liberating about writing something purely for its own sake. Knowing going in that there's zero or limited potential to publish, the only remaining reason for you to be writing fanfic is because you just genuinely enjoy the act of writing, creating, and sharing it. Speaking personally, it's made me get back into the mindset of thinking of writing as something I do for fun, which means that I've now created the habit of defaulting to writing as my go-to activity during my pockets of free time throughout the day.

The feedback you get from sharing it is great motivation to keep writing. The instant gratification of comments and readers' excitement for the next chapter are an excellent way to keep the momentum going! And the community I've discovered with other fic writers has become almost like a writers' workshop group of sorts. A lot of talented writers write fic, and it's an amazing community of people who write for fun that can help you grow and improve and challenge yourself as a writer.

Sometimes you CAN publish it! We all know about 50 Shades of Grey, but that aside, often times elements or ideas or even the entire premise of a fanfic story can be adapted fairly easily into original content, especially if you're writing an AU or something more distantly removed from the canon. Of course, this isn't always possible, but that still doesn't mean its wasted effort - the things you learn from writing fic or writing tricks and tools you develop will almost inevitably be carried over into your original writing as well.

Basically, if you have aspirations to publish and are hesitant about writing fic for any reason, my advice is to stop overthinking it and just hecking do it! Writing is writing, and creating art from existing stories is something as old as art itself. There's zero shame in it, and the experience you'll get is well worth it.

Legit some of the most beautiful writing I've ever read has been in fanfic, and I've encountered some staggeringly talented writers in so many fandoms. I'm hopeful that the stigma surrounding it is lessening slowly but surely, because it really is as valid a form of creating as anything else is.

[stopeatingwhales]

the 1995 brits x damon albarn & liam gallagher

hhhiiii I'm here with a very cute little fic about the brits!! the idea of writing something with Damon and liam fighting over someone was requested quite a long time ago (sorry it’s taken so long omg) but I loved the idea!! I do hope you all enjoy it as I enjoyed writing it a lot hahah xx

Pairing: 90s damon albarn & 90s liam gallagher x reader

Warnings: nothing, just a little bit of bickering n dat

Word count: 3.057

Requested by anon x

༉‧₊˚✧

Being a part of the madness that adapted the name ‘Britpop’ was truly an experience. Paparazzi at every corner you turn, equipped with the brightest, flashiest cameras, also having the most annoying click noises to the point that after one image you’ve earned yourself a migraine that would last the entirety of the day; parties that would last entire nights, bearing millions of different kinds of drugs - some that hadn’t even been given a name yet, but you’d still give a try anyways, since you’re so high and drunk that you simply lose the intellectual capability to construct decisions, you say fuck it, and get so high to the point that you’ve blacked out in a booth in a bar, with the owner asking you to get out since you’ve been inside for one too many hours after closing time; as well as constant press coverage. With your name plastered over literally every newspaper and music magazine known to man, as well as having your entire life consistently dictated for the entire nation to read about every Sunday morning and indulge themselves into as a form of entertainment, it was what being famous delivered, right on your doorstep at 7 in the morning. Any earlier and you’d feel rude not to give them a cup of tea as a form of dignity and respect towards their sublime dedication to the job. Although it was fun being associated with it all, my band in particular gaining a different form of calidity due to it being a female fronted band, by the time that the entire nation was hooked on this ‘Blur vs. Oasis’ rivalry, it was as if every other britpop band had been washed away from existence, due to eight boys arguing as to whom had the better music. And the better looks, according to Liam Gallagher.

Tonight was the night of the Brit awards, perhaps the most prestigious awards ceremony for music. To be awarded a Brit was probably the largest achievement possible in British music in the form of an award, and it was definitely either going tonight to either Blur or Oasis. The chances that another band, say Pulp, were to get the award, would not only be extremely amusing to see the reactions of the two biggest names in the Britpop game, but would also cause the largest uproar in the nation. It’s either Blur or Oasis. “Their drama is so silly,” laughed Emily, the guitarist in our band whilst flicking through the latest edition of the Sun, the cover of the newspaper being, of course, Liam Gallagher. “They’re literally bickering about who looks the best. How do people find this interesting?”

“Because of how silly it is, people never leave their secondary-school-like selves. Just a bit of fun I guess.” I replied, fixing up my hair in the mirror in front of me. We were currently getting ready to go to the award show, and needing to look your best was an expectation. Though I wasn��t dressed in anything that would result in jaw’s dropping, it was important that I at least appeared somewhat admirable - the entire nation always had their eyes on us, but tonight they were going to see us all, live. Perhaps the reason why bands like Oasis and Blur are so obsessed over nowadays, since all they’ll do is turn up in some flimsy Adidas t-shirt and call that fashion. I suppose scruffy was the new elegant.

“Who do you think they’ll give the award to?” she questioned, still aimlessly flicking through the recycled pages of the magazine. “I think Oasis. Their music is so much better than Blurs.”

“Really? I’d say Blur. They won on top of the pops, so the likelihood of them winning the Brit award is highly likely,” I answered, shuffling away from the strong reflection of myself towards Emily, my eyes quickly scanning the page that she had her eye on currently. “Gosh Liam’s so full of himself.”

“He’s got his eye on you, you know,” She said, shoving the paragraph she had just read in my face of Liam boasting about his little crush he had supposedly gained from watching our latest performance on top of the pops. “Thinks you’re ‘well fit’.”

Scoffing in response, I mumbled back to Emily. “If he thinks that he’s sleeping with me, he’s very deluded.”

By the time we had arrived at the venue, you weren’t able to walk into the entrance without at least 50 cameras blinding your eyes and the shouts of so many begging for you to quickly turn your head and grin - the price for the photo would reach the many thousands. Once walking in, it was less crowded, only having select people by the ground floor, dedicated for musicians and bands, with the occasional interviewer walking past to every circled table, adorned with white cloth and champagne glasses, asking questions about how they’re feeling, who they think may win, and what they thought of the music throughout the past year. What was nice was that people didn’t have that much interaction with one another, just with their groups. It created a sense of formality in the space, which made me feel a bit at ease from the idea of some random row happening in the middle of the floor, most likely between Liam and Damon. The past year in music was truly something. Britpop was at its peak the entirety of the year, with songs like Parklife and Supersonic pouring out of every radio station in Britain that by the end of the year, you had ditched casual radio music and began blasting the classical station. It was a nightmare. Since the fall of grunge subsequent to Cobain’s death the previous year, the talk of any other genre in Britain apart from Britpop didn’t occur. It was as if we were living on this mystical island, miles away from any other music and culture, whilst adorning and obsessing over our own. What was nice about Britpop was that it was a pure celebration of English culture, whether it be a simple Sunday roast, or going to school, they all carried the same ambience of nostalgia and pride - also disregarding whichever band wrote what song.

“Free champagne… Yes please,” said Madeline, the secondary guitarist of the band, whilst heading to the first seat she could sit on, then quickly indulging herself with the first taste of the rich drink. “Oh my gosh it’s heavenly!”

Laughing at her reaction, the rest of the band took a seat around the table and took their first sips of the champagne, which we would all come to find to be indeed heavenly. Small talk was shared here and there with the rest of the group, but overall I stayed silent. In all honesty I found attending award shows was quite boring because if you didn’t end up getting an award, you would essentially be sitting there for two hours doing nothing. Even if you did win an award, it’s simply a minute of glory with the speakers blasting your music, and another minute of all eyes piercing into your soul as you make sentences about your gratitude towards those who had helped you along the way to earn such an achievement. I doubt anybody genuinely liked attending shows like these.

“The champagne is good, yet we don’t get enough for our table,” I complained, grasping my now empty champagne glass and waving it around in the air. “I’m gonna head to the bar to get a refill, anybody want anything?”

After receiving a handful of nos from the rest of the band, I took myself out of my seat and wandered over to the bar, which was empty, perhaps due to the venue not yet being completely filled with all the artists that were set to attend the night. “Just a refill of the champagne, please.” I asked politely, handing the bartender the used glass I had kept in my hand. Whilst waiting, I noticed that Damon was on the other side of the bar, who also didn’t notice me there, until he caught eyes with me.

A grin broke out on his face as I walked over to him. “You alright?” He asked me, quickly thanking the bartender for his drink and turning back to look at me. The height difference between us was evident, but it wasn’t the case of something so dramatic that he was the height of the empire state building and me, just a measly common tower in the city. He looked quite content, his hair scruffy yet neat, along with his outfit being just as I had assumed: a white shirt with jeans, a used pair of Adidas for shoes.

I smiled back at him and nodded. “Suppose you have high hopes for the award tonight.” I said, simultaneously receiving my refill of the beverage I had ordered, followed by my thanks. We stood adjacent, although there was enough distance between us to establish our relationship - mutual acquaintances whom had met every now and again, since they’ve both been dragged into this wormhole of madness. He was quite the opposite in comparison to his rivals, though he himself could be quite bothersome occasionally, he still had a grasp to what those may call sensibility.

“Oh well we’re better than them, aren’t we love?'' He chirped, his head now cocked to the side in a teasing manner. “I’ve heard that you’re rooting for us this year.” He added, a little smirk pasted on his face.

“Do you read every paper you see?” I questioned, my face turning away from him in slight embarrassment. Between us, there was no shared intention for a relationship to stem, though there was definitely a flirtatious tension that followed between us wherever we had met. Whether it be a random photoshoot for a magazine double-spread, or backstage at top of the pops, we always managed to share a chat with one another, and nothing else followed on from then. It was quite sad, because once you’ve established a connection between something you either both disagree or agree with in terms of societal views, something in the press, or life in general, you’re instantaneously cut off and asked to hop onto stage to record a meaningless three-minute performance with fake, plastic instruments which practically mean nothing.

“Well it was nice seeing someone else's face on the papers for once.” He replied, downing his drink, then ushering at the bartender for another. A thing that we both realised was that, between our conversations, we indirectly indicated that we were both there for each other, because we both had a complete understanding towards what may be happening to the other person. It was stressful being in the limelight constantly, and for someone who was the frontman of a band so large, with his face plastered on every magazine cover imaginable, things were bound to be stressful.

Sighing, I turned to face him again. Despite the fact that before I had the ability to respond, our conversation was cut short from a voice shouting my name from behind. “Well if it isn’t bloody Y/N.” the voice said, and from then I instantly knew it was Liam’s. Turning my face away from Damon’s, I locked eyes with Liam. As always, he was dressed in the usual: a parka, with casual jeans. Oh, and don’t forget the Adidas shoes. Even though he and Damon practically hated each other’s guts, they always seemed to have similar fashion senses, but I could never picture Damon in a parka. And I don’t think I even want to.

“How’ve you been love?” He asked, swinging his arm around my shoulder in a warm, but nonchalant manner. Me and Liam had a similar relationship to that of mine and Damons, simply just minusing the sentimentality of it. We were friends, and had come across each other at random parties, which opened the gateway for us to drink and get high together many a time. While he was quite the idiot, he was also a very fun guy to be around, but I knew Damon would never understand that. “And why’re you letting this twat chat to you?”

A laugh escaped Damon’s throat. “I think you’re the only twat here, Liam,” he began, a sigh leaving my mouth as I was trapped in a situation that I could only pray didn’t gain much traction from the rest of the attendees. “Me and Y/N are friends, don’t suppose we’re getting jealous are we?”

Liam’s grip on my shoulder tightened as I stared at his reaction to Damon. I felt quite small in this situation, due to me needing to tilt my head a good amount to properly look at Liam, and knowing if I left it would just erupt chaos and make it worse. “No need for me to be jealous when I know that she wouldn’t want to spend a minute with you in bed you bastard.”

“And you’re so sure about that are you?” Damon replied, amusement laced in his words. “Because you’ve totally spent a minute with her haven’t you?”

“Well I’ve got my arm around her haven’t I? And she’s not stopping me,” Liam argued back, a smirk entwined on his lips. Reaching for my hand, Liam grasped it lightly, then then brought it to his lips, kissing it, before holding it gently. Method of intimidation, perhaps, and though it was sweet, there was a time and place. And this was definitely neither the time, or place. “Who’s the jealous one now, eh?”

“The last I recall, she had hoped that we were winning this year, not you,” He boasted, moving the contents of his drink around whilst grasping it firmly. Whilst it would be something that would offend Liam, he was simply the type of person to not take criticism regardless of whomever it was coming from. I respected him for that. “So much so for a healthy relationship.” Damon mocked, staring into my eyes as a small laugh escaped my lips.

Granted that I had found the argument shared between the pair of them to be extremely silly, it was good entertainment as the time passed before the award show would begin. Watching them both, attempting to throw insults at one another, each one trying to cut a little deeper than the one previous, made me almost laugh at the both of them right there. “You know, it’s so silly that you both think you know me so well to think which one I’d pick from the both of you,” I said, detaching myself from Liam’s embrace and snatching my half-empty glass of champagne. “At this point, it’s neither of you.”

Walking back to my band’s designated table, I quietly took my seat as the show began. “Saw you chatting to Damon,” Emily whispered, raising her eyebrows. “Also saw you grinning like a madwoman.”

“Oh shut up you,” I replied, looking back at the bar to notice that both parties had left, assuming back to their places. “There’s nothing going on between me and Damon- Liam too in fact.”

~~~

As the ceremony went on, the boredom got to us. Even the amount of drinks I had didn’t entertain me, but what could we do, we were stuck in the middle of an award show celebrating music, even though I had largely doubted that the majority of those attending were enjoying themselves. I had no clue who the awards were going to be handed out to, and whether that somebody may be us in a category, but we all knew Blur were going to win something. Yes, Oasis had gained a lot of fame and had become one of the most famous bands in the music scene at the minute, but by the way things had gone for Blur after the release of Parklife, things only seemed to go further up from there. And that was only proven to be truthful, after Blur had left with four different awards.

After Blur had received their fourth award for best British group, we all knew that there was nothing left for Oasis. “They’ll get it all next year, they only debuted this year you know.” I said to the table, who were staring at the four smiley boys on stage as they trotted up to receive their award. I admired Damon as he said his speech, then also turning to look over at Liam, who looked quite evidently pissed off. He was practically drooling in anger from the sight brought to him at that particular moment, and I couldn’t blame him - their band hadn't gone home with one award that night, but neither had ours. “They’ve taken four awards home, isn’t that like, the most anybody has ever taken?”

“Indeed it is,” Madeline replied, taking a sip from her drink. “Must be a good year for them then, eh?”

As I watched the band leave the stage in absolute glee, I stared at Damon as he walked back to his designated seat for the short remainder of the evening. Despite the fact that my band had been sat in our seats the entire evening in complete boredom, just like Oasis and so many other acts that had been nominated for pointless awards, it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t proud of how far Blur as a whole had come and evolved through their music, and especially Damon. From beginning as young, bowl-cut boys only charting so far on top of the pops, to creating songs and melodies that could unite our entire nation, it was impressive.

Damon was the face of Britain at this very moment, and a very good looking one. Once I watched him sit down, he scanned the room for a while until he was able to find where I was sitting, which was parallel to his seat, merely a couple metres away. He connected eyes with me as soon as he found me, also accompanied with a small smirk painted on his expression as he raised his eyebrows and sent me a wink. I simply smiled back at him in response before turning away abruptly, disrupting the little moment we seemingly shared, and though I felt my heart flutter a little, he’s definitely not winning me that easily.