#...so i don't dismiss that people are transphobic about it but i also don't want people to see transsexual as a dirty word

[uncanny-tranny]

Something beautiful about the word transsexual is that contrary to popular (often by transmeds) belief, it has always included people who don't medically transition in anyway. It simply is an older word for what a lot of people would now call transgender and there are so many transsexual elders who never went on hormones and never had surgery but have identified as transsexual for decades and still do. I know transmeds have been around back in the day too, claiming that transsexual is only for medical transitioners, but many elders will disagree. Even if you look at some trans glossaries from 15 years ago they will define transsexual the same way that we define transgender. Transsexual and transgender are largely synonymous with different connotations to different people. The beauty is that we as trans people get to choose whether we want to reclaim a term that was put on us by cis people, or if we want to claim a term that was created by us for us, and both are beautiful and radical in their own way.

The thing about the history of transness is... we have documentation of trans people having existed for at least a thousand years. Trans history is ancient. We are a fact of humanity, not an option.

The interesting thing about transsexual is that it's a new word - coined in German as Transsexualismus by Magnus Hirschfeld in the 1920s, introduced later as transsexual. Around this time, more people were interested in what would be known as transsexualism. It's around this time and after the war that more and more medical transition options became wide-spread and practiced. Medical transition is by no means as experimental as people fear monger it to be, but in terms of trans history, we're living in a vastly different era than our trans ancestors.

The understanding of transsexual depends on who you ask, but it's my opinion that we ought to include as many transsexuals as possible. The idea that transsexuals are the Good Trans People, the ones who Put In The Work is an idea that's based on transphobia, not the language that's used. The attitude is the problem, the idea that we are inherently broken or must prove ourselves worthy is separate from the words that we identify with or are used to describe us.

It's for this reason that transsexualism is important to me. It's for this reason that I want as many people to be transsexuals as possible, whether or not you medically transition. I personally started preferring transsexual because I see it as political, as personal, as a community of beautiful people I want to help make good. If you don't identify as transsexual, that is great! But, please, know that transsexuals are also not stereotypes. We're not the Good Ones. We are part of the broader trans community, and thus, we should all work together.

[variousqueerthings]

i do think that specifically david tennant being very openly supportive of the trans community has had an interesting effect -- because usually im kinda like "it is nice to know that people whose work i enjoy don't want me dead" and that's kinda my level of (at this point) quite cynical engagement with what a celebrity or artist does or does not think about transness, because these days it feels like it's almost fashionable for well-known (or post-well-known) people to come out of the wordwork and say what they think about trans people, which can get very stressful in its own way (the amount of headlines that try to be misleading or just plain don't say and so you're just like "ok i guess this week i have to find out if [spins wheel] thinks i deserve rights")

but david tennant has a different feeling to it. and to be fair, there are plenty of people with skin in the game, who absolutely deserve to and ought to speak out on behalf of their children/partners/community/friends/family/etc. and im always happy to see these people speak, and dt is included in that list as well

but david tennant is veeery specific in this here country of terf island, in which the labour party will openly state that it will allow certain book writers to affect their policies on trans people, and that's partly because of the effect above in which "having opinions on trans rights seems to be a celebrity game that keeps you relevant, which includes ex prime minister tony blair making his opinion known (hint, it wasn't a good one)" but also because david tennant is known as a national icon to rival that of whatsherface

he was the main actor on doctor who, in the top three, if not very top of british broadcasting iconography that exists. he's one of this generation's most famous shakespearian actors, the other thing that this country-as-culture is most proud of. he's a mainstay in children's film and tv, a standout in modern british crime drama (broadchurch, des), and that's not mentioning things like jessica jones, good omens, and star wars

this guy has no social media, and some of the biggest cultural capital in the uk today -- labour i believe it was made a twitter joke about him ousting the current prime minister as the doctor ahead of this week's election, because that's an iconic scene from doctor who

which means that when he openly calls transphobes whingy and asks them to shut up, there's a bit of a ripple... i mean what are you gonna do, get angry with the doctor? from doctor who??? the man who played a definitive hamlet????? the man who's just done rave reviewed performances of macbeth???? scrooge mcduck????????? this man who occasionally guests on cbeebies???????????

said prime minister and his party and hosts of transphobes go absolutely crazy every time he makes an appearance wearing new trans ally apparel, as if a. he sees any of that and b. it's a dignified response to a man saying, in essence, "i would like my kid to be safe and happy"

david tennant constantly making these statements, again and again, is a powerful voice in the modern fight for trans rights in the UK, in some ways unfortunately, because you wish trans people could have been heard before it got to this state and that it wasn't about being famous, but to be fair, he's also making that point again and again

it kind of feels like the first time in a long time that there's been proper pushback against transphobia in this country from a perspective that the transphobes can't dismiss so easily -- they can try but like. again, one side is a bunch of raving nonsense-spouters on a joke website who mostly belong to a party that's about to get decidedly ousted from the political scene, the other is beloved national icon and star of stage and screen, mr david tennant

of course, it doesn't hurt that the three main actors of harry potter and everyone else who's majorly involved in doctor who, past and present, is also supportive of trans rights, which maybe there's a separate point to be made about the strangeness of a mainstream tv show becoming a cultural battleground for peoples opinions on equal rights, especially now with ncuti gatwa at the helm, because i think some of what ive seen in relation to dw is more extreme than any piece of cultural media ive been alive to witness bigoted reactions to (including star trek), and ncuti gatwa as a black queer man is taking a hell of a lot of flack that is racist and homophobic

but labour... if you're inviting random artists to give you opinions on trans rights, david tennant is right there, and you know he'd make sure to bring along trans rights activists and professionals to get the space in the room they ought to have had all along

[ceilidhtransing]

In light of recent and ongoing UK fuckery, I am so sick and tired of the idea that extremely transphobic things “aren't really transphobic” because they are coming from people who “probably mean well” and “don't hate trans people”.

Yeah, because bigotry can only be perpetrated by people who are actively, consciously hateful, sitting in their villainous lairs and dreaming up new innovative ways to be evil. (Obvious sarcasm.)

Transphobia is not just “when you actively and knowingly hate trans people”. Transphobia is also

A paternalistic attitude that says that trans people can't really be trusted to know themselves or what they want and so need to be gatekept from healthcare by cis “experts”

A refusal to listen to and take into account trans expertise; hell, a denial that trans expertise even exists

The idea that while some trans people existing in society is fine, ideally we should be limiting that number as much as we can

The idea that transition - social or physical or both - should only ever be a last resort after all other “possible avenues” have been explored, because being trans is fundamentally an undesirable inferior state and ideally we should be protecting people from transition for their own good

An attempt to clamp down on the use of “dangerous unregulated private healthcare” and an insistence on “safety” and on “doing things the right way” that manifests in reality as a denial of care because no viable alternatives to such “dangerous” options are actually provided

A carving out of exceptions to the basic principle of bodily autonomy whenever a body happens to belong to a trans person

A total dismissal of the concept of harm reduction when it comes to trans people; the only harm reduction that really matters is making sure no cis person accidentally does anything trans, and that end should be doggedly pursued no matter how many trans people it will harm along the way

An expectation of ludicrously unattainable standards of evidence and success for any healthcare involving trans people, that you would never demand of “normal” healthcare - a >15% regret rate for some common surgery is fine; a <1% regret rate for something trans-related is a national scandal that calls for an immediate inquiry into care standards

The refusal to change policies and approaches that have been demonstrated time and time again to harm trans people, because you view the status quo of cis authority over trans bodies as more important than the survival of the people those bodies belong to

The demand that cis people as individuals, and cis society at large, deserve to have their opinions taken into account regarding how a trans person chooses to live and what they choose to do to their body, and that trans freedom should hinge on cis approval

An assumption that segregation between “normal healthcare” and “trans healthcare” is just natural and necessary, even when it is literally the same procedure or treatment

The welcoming of openly trans-hostile voices into conversations about trans issues to the exclusion of actual trans people, because “it's really important that all views are aired” (apart from the views of trans people, obviously)

The attitude that, no matter how ignorant of, detached from, irrelevant to, and unwilling to learn of trans people's lives you are, your personal consent and satisfaction must be obtained before any progress around trans equality can be made, and trans people must only move at the pace of your willingness to understand and get on board

An insistence on endlessly rehashing the same basic points again and again and preventing any forward movement by repeatedly dragging the conversation back to square one, forcing trans people and their allies to debunk the same nonsense again and again and defend the same well-proven, well-established truths again and again

The denial that transphobia even exists or is a significant problem that needs to be addressed - it's not bigotry, it's just conflicting views! After all, gender identity is a polarising issue!

and so much more besides. Transphobia is a social system, a way of thinking, a set of baked-in assumptions, an institutionalised bias. Conscious, active “hatred” is not a prerequisite for anything listed above, but they are all transphobia, and at the root of all of them is a casual indifference to trans survival, a prioritisation of cis comfort and cis interests over trans lives, and an instinctive valuing of cis existence over trans existence. A lot of cis people don't even recognise these things as transphobia because they themselves hold those casual prejudices and therefore see the extensions of them as natural.

And at this point, I don't care about “good intentions”. These things are all manifestations of the insidious and deeply evil web of transphobia that prevents trans people from living full lives as equal participants in society. People who keep holding these attitudes and doing these things aren't “basically well-intentioned”; they're just bigots who don't know or care that they're bigots.

Transphobia is not just “when some hateful fanatic says they want all trans people dead”. Transphobia is all around us. Start seeing it.

[genderkoolaid]

something ive noticed as a very effeminate trans masc that dresses pretty androgynous & has been on hrt for many years is that the status of being a "dangerous man" can and will be placed on you (ime most often by cis white women) whenever expressing any kind of negative feelings. if i told friends of mine - even queer ones - that something they did hurt my feelings or made me upset, i was suddenly a dangerous man or a (man)ipulator or whatever - even if i didn't raise my voice. the very fact that i am unhappy combined with my proximity to manhood makes me a supposed threat in their eyes.

a couple years ago i had a group of cis girl friends. they would constantly pull me into women's bathrooms n such so i wouldn't be left behind saying its fine its fine bc im one of the girls (gender neutral) but then as soon as i was upset about something i was suddenly a dangerous man who needed to stay out of women's spaces,,,, despite the fact that of the 4 of us, the girl who joined after me was the one spreading this shit around my friend group so... how was i encroaching on womens spaces if i was there before her and i was invited in? luckily one of my friends told me that the other two were plotting to kick me out of my friend group on the sole basis of my proximity to manhood so i at least knew why they were suddenly treating me like shit

its just.. i cant understand why people dont think trans mascs and trans men are discriminated against when they literally said it was my "toxic man energy" that made them want me out WHILE ALSO being the ones convincing me to go into womens spaces bc they wanted to go somewhere and didnt wanna have to leave me behind & like i said im extremely effeminate and faggy and also NONBINARY so i dont understand what "man energy" they were talking about other than the fact that im on testosterone and thinking testosterone = man is just transphobic no matter how you try to twist it

but my taking testosterone was never a problem or made me evil or scary when they wanted me to go with them into women-only (&nonbinary too i guess unless youre amab (and they can tell) or been on testosterone for too long) spaces, it was only a problem when they wanted 1. a reason to criticise me relentlessly, borderline bullying or 2. a reason to dismiss any of my concerns or criticisms of their treatment of me

all of that, to me, is transandrophobia point blank. i dont know what else you could call it other than transphobia, but transphobia doesn't address any of the very blatant and obvious connection of how my transness affects their perception of my proximity to manhood and how that affected the situation

God that sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

You make a very good point. This is why I don't want to define transandrophobia/ATM as just transphobia and misogyny directed at transmascs. I still think transunity theory is a really valuable way of looking at transphobia & its important to me that we are vocal about how masculine tropes are weaponized against trans people by cis people on the regular because of how we are positioned in relation to gender. Too many people think the that the only thing wrong with saying trans people have "dangerous male energy" is that its misgendering. So trans people who choose to associate themselves with manhood are left in the trash by the people who should know best how much being made out to be a Dangerous Male Invader hurts!

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

To the people trying to defend Robert Manion or saying the fandom is too harsh on him, do you remember the tiktok livestreams where he tried to play off his sexual harassment as a joke that starkid took too seriously? How he was intentionally shading them, called them cringey for singing old songs at the Jangle Ball just because he wasn't invited, implied Brian being Meredith's boss in starkid meant their relationship was toxic, said Starkid treats all their new members as disposable which is just blatantly not true, complained about not getting enough solos when it's common knowledge he refused to sing Ethan's solo in Black Friday, complained about Dylan getting too many solos before backtracking in his next live, claimed he wasn't trying to stop persuade people not to give to the SK Returns kickstarter but only went live and spoke against sk during that kickstarter. Let's not forget how he constantly tires to act like a white saviour but talked about how much he wants to see a version of Beauty and the Beast with a black Belle who Gaston racially fetishises before saying Gaston is his dream role. Even before the sa situation he was known for being weird and sometimes mean to fans on twitter and I have heard some more serious accounts of him behaving badly towards fans (not in like a groomer way, just being overly rude and dismissive). I don't keep up with what he's doing so if he's not as transphobic as he was before, then cool, but I seriously doubt he will ever be asked back into starkid, even if fan opinions somehow changed, since during those livestreams he was constantly bashing Corey Lubowich and Nick Lang and the other starkid management, blaming them for fans being mad at him and stuff. I know some starkids still follow him, but none of the management team and I highly doubt his split from the company was as friendly as he tries to portray it.

Also, just because he stopped sexually harassing someone when he was told it was causing them discomfort doesn't make him a good person.

~~~

[barkhoffman]

rest in peace tumblr user barkhoffman 🕊🕊

I'm gonna use this ask I got to springboard an explanation as to why I've gone silent and stopped updating, so! here it is! the Discourse no one asked for!

it was brought to my attention recently that some people on twitter (a site which I no longer use and have not used for years because it is a cesspool) have been vaguing/insulting SLAP, which! sure! fine, that's your right! not everyone has to like what I create, I don't mind that at all! that's not why I vanished, though.

my issue with these "criticisms" is that they ended up insulting who I am as a person. accusations of fatphobia, transphobia, and ableism (among other things) have been leveled at me, and that's where I personally draw the line.

you don't have to like me. you don't have to like what I write. but when you call my moral character into question, I get a little bothered.

an example: some of the accusations include calling me transphobic for using the word "vagina" to refer to a transmasc character's genitals. for those of you who don't know (not that I should have to disclose this information), I am not cis. trans people are not, in fact, a hivemind, and the idea that we should all be ashamed or uncomfortable or whatever the fuck with our anatomy unless we couch it in different terms is actually rather more transphobic than using a medically accurate term to refer to a person's genitals during a smut scene -- a scene which is written from the third-person limited perspective of a 48-year-old cis man who is unfamiliar with transgender issues, so even if it WAS universally offensive to call a vagina a vagina, it would still be in-character.

the thing is, in-character observations, speech, and thoughts are not actually a universal indicator of the author's identity or beliefs. things that you dislike or that make you feel uncomfortable are not automatically morally impure, and you don't have to reach for reasons to say the creator is a bigot because you don't agree with how they portrayed things.

(there's also something to be said about the inherent colonialist racism in the transmed viewpoints that lend to "transmascs shouldn't ever have vagina used to refer to their genitals," dismissing nonwhite cultures with a rich history of third/other genders and gender euphoria. DYSphoria is not the only trans experience. furthermore, calling the word vagina "female-gendered" is a slap in the face to all of us who are NOT female who have no problem referring to our genitals in that way. idk man, are the arguably more gendered terms "pussy" and "cunt" REALLY more appropriate here? should I have used "bonus hole" instead? not sure what the solution is supposed to be.

anyway.)

I could go on and on and get into every little accusation thrown at me and how insulting and ridiculous they are, but I don't want to invite that level of discourse. this is bad enough. it is absolutely batshit bonkers that I, as a nearly 30 year old person, am sitting here typing this right now. it is even more wild to me that at least some of the people involved in this drama are apparently in their 30s as well.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. if those of you who have a problem with my fics expended even half that energy into helping actual real life people instead of defending the nonexistent honor of fictional ones, the world might actually get better.

I know, I know. it feels good to vague on twitter and pretend you're doing activism when you're trashing a small creator's work in a way that's very likely to get back to them. it feels nice to know you've "saved the world from some evil" when you discourage people like me from continuing their projects. it feels like you're making a difference, right?

unfortunately, you are not. I would advise those of you involved in all this to get well soon and mature a little bit past wrongly deducing someone's viewpoints via the fictional works that they create. there are happier and more productive ways to spend your time, I swear.

I'm not mad, honestly. I'm just sort of tired. tired of getting messages asking where I am and what happened. tired of feeling like I have all this bottled up inside. tired of fandoms that would rather stoke fake moral outrage like Republicans than, idk, go to a protest or give a homeless person a dollar or defend POC from your racist uncle at the neighborhood barbecue.

I don't think we as an internet "society" really understand the mental toll it can take on someone to be called things like fatphobic, ableist, and transphobic -- particularly when, in my case, I am fat, disabled, and trans. of course, being a member of a group doesn't absolve you from bigotry against that group. however, when these accusations are leveled based entirely on someone's body of work and not on their actual character, it makes us far less likely to create works, what with the likelihood that they'll continue to be looked at in bad faith by those who have some sort of weird moral high ground point to prove.

I really didn't want to have to post about this and bring the people who like my work down, but I think you guys are owed an explanation rather than silence. not sure if I'll post anything after this, because I'm really too old to be engaging in internet slapfights over torture porn movie fanfics, of all things (I guess I really spoke too soon when I called this fandom nice, drama-free, and welcoming). if my ask box gets too messy, I'll turn it off. idk. just wanted you guys to know where I've gone.

now stop telling everyone I'm dead

[lover-of-mine]

hello gurl gg here

not only for gossip but for my opinion too

so i read what some anon wrote too and i have a different opinion i really think this reel was shared on purpose with a motif and i also think that they wanted him to see it

i love that some of you think about kenny, ostark and rg how this mature people when they are literally children; did you forget how ostark acted on twt, how he behaved when buck was with taylor, did you forget how he acted after 7x04 towards bt and his fans? did you forget how he was so pissed by rg that he had to put a fucking mask everytime he took a pic with him so he didn’t have to fake smile and also how he never touched him? kenny is maybe the most rascal and little demon of all them because he purposely made joke and reel in front of him and excluding him and then we have ryan who already was in pr jail who “live” constantly with them so i think he acted with a meaning and the meaning was making a statement

we joke saying how they have a burner but i think that they plenty know what that side think about them but mostly ryan how he is a dead beat transphobic father who isn’t loved by his child and should *** so i can understand why this is a petty act and not some accidental thing he did

also people tend to forget how kenny watched the cameo where lou dismisses tommy behavior so i think that they aren’t very happy with im not saying they hate him but they aren’t even ok with him

now gossip

this is the first time i miss the moment something hit them because i was at work so i had to close myself into the restroom and try to gather all info

it is a mess because while people like alyssa are straight ignoring what rg shared by trying to convince other bt how that hangar is tommy’s other ones like mark keep spreading the agenda that rg is a bad bad bad bad person and should *** while keep saying how lou is in season 8 even if people are dragging him for lying

also they are pissed at lou so fucking pissed because he is remaining silent while ostark and rg are dragging him down how dare him to not say anything while they are joking on him and the ship?????

also they are trying to keep contacting tim using the ones bt who are friends with him on fb but he left them on read for real like he read the message but he didn’t answer which is a new behavior for him since the answer to every one

maybe he understood what he did wrong in the first place

Hi love 🩷

I do agree what's happening is on purpose. I don't know how much they know, or how they feel about Lou, but between the reel that got deleted, Oliver's blocking spree, and this reel, yeah, they're making a statement, there's no denying that anymore. I am extremely curious about what they filmed this week, because something triggered this behavior for sure. They are fueling the fire. And they are making quite clear which side they're on.

I did notice it seems to be "everything is fine, that doesn't matter" or "Ryan is the root of all that's evil" and no in-between. And obviously they are one step away from turning on Lou, because why wouldn't they, right? I can't believe they are actually still trying to talk to Tim after that interview, like seriously, how dense can you be to still do it after he went on record talking poorly about fans dming him? And the fact that he's leaving them on read is HYSTERICAL. This is like watching a train wreck but the train is crashing because it feels like it over and over.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Please explain the relationship between HIPAA and second wave feminists being ok with calling adults girl

Okay, but you must understand that this is truly my most unhingéd, crack-est opinion that I would generally reserve for High Rambling. If I were a vlogger, I would be saying it in my car. I do not have "evidence" or "logic" or "a coherent argument." You cannot hold this against my actual thoughtful arguments that I promise I also have, because this is not one. But. Okay. If you still want to read my unhingéd crack. Here goes.

So, for most of the 20th century, it was colloquially common to call adult women "girls," and this was part of a pattern of women being infantilized and treated as children, and a big part of second-wave feminism in the 1970s was pushing back on that infantilization, including insisting that adult women be called "women" instead of "girls." Right? Right. But then by the 1990s/2000s, many of those same feminists were openly calling women "girls" and using infantilizing language (like dismissing women voters as "girls trying to impress boys"). What changed?

Now obviously the most obvious explanation, and undoubtedly biggest factor, in this shift is just the passage of time and ageing. The older people get, in general, the more they tend to infantalize younger people. Somebody in their 20s in the '70s would be in their 50s by the '00s. They might have grown children of their own. This is the logical explanation. Okay.

But also...

Until the 1990s, the status of patients' rights to medical privacy, autonomy, and decision-making in general was, well, abysmal. A lot of people who grew up in the post-HIPAA era don't realize the extent of it -- they think the laws around medical privacy were just codification of what was already an established cultural and ethical norm. And of course it was worse for women, people of color, disabled people, poor people, queer people, etc, but honestly, even for a straight white abled middle-class man, it wasn't that great. Doctors would tell patients' families a patient's diagnosis and tell them to lie to the patient about it! Doctors would go around in public talking about Mrs. Smith's gallstones! There were some ethical guidelines around privacy, but patients had no real recourse to enforce them.

'70s feminists somewhat supported medical freedom and privacy as part of women's rights -- like, they opposed the common practice of doctors bringing a woman in for a biopsy and just scooping out some organs while you're in there -- but they also weren't especially pro-privacy or pro-autonomy in general, and were generally sex-negative, transphobic, etc. We know this.

When patients' right to privacy became legally codified (HIPAA being the most prominent example), privacy rights were primarily defined based on age. Thus why "parents rights" advocates were outraged! That minors could have privacy rights for reproductive healthcare (but depending on the state, not for any other kind of healthcare!). See, prior to that time, "adulthood" as a status didn't necessarily confer a medical right to privacy.

(I'm actually working on writing something longer with actual thought and evidence and logic about the social construction of the "age of majority" and how it's not necessarily meaningful to talk about different times/contexts having a "higher" or "lower" age of majority without unpacking what that meant at that time... but this is not that. This is unhinged crack.)

And... around that time... you just... quietly... heard less and less about "Don't call adult women 'girls'" and more about "Influences on Our Girls."

So I guess the actual grain of theory behind my rambling, if directly stated, would be: As "adulthood" became ontologically defined as conferring an individual right to medical privacy, the authoritarian wings of the feminist movement quietly rescinded the claim that women are "adults."

I guess I could've framed this around Lawrence v Texas and sexual autonomy rather than medical privacy, but I happened to be thinking about HIPAA at the time.

Anyway, bet you're sorry you asked, huh?

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍

[weaselbeaselpants]

Want to say this outloud so that the rest of the tag+comunity knows it and knows it well: not all the Lily Orchard-critical blogs and people HAVE to be buddy-buds with each other. It's always nice to have unity and no-infighting but you need to understand we are all adults talking about how we and other people have been hurt/set-upon by her base, or even preyed on by Lily herself.

Barring shitty transphobes and KiwiFarms (I 100% get why someone would go there, espec when receipt trails are getting harder and harder to keep up and are reported as harassment in sites like this one; I personally wouldn't trust the farms and the bozos there to handle my info well or with good faith. Other people who are using farms for receipt-tracking? Sure. The Farms themself? Fuck no and fuck Null) and obviously predatory people in their own right like Zena and Poppy, we're here to tell our stories and make sure other people's stories get told. Beef, even particuarly ugly beef like accusing each other of dismissing ab*se, zionism, or being angry that we're on servers w people we don't like - it's valid to not be chummy and mad at each other. Still, none of that will ever make us what Lily (or Zena and Poppy) is.

Lily Orchard-

wrote CP (her 'Stockholm' series). It may not have involved real children so it's not punishable by law in many states/prefectures, but y'know writing graphic cp is not a good thing. Most annoying proshippers defend the semantics of 'drawn material' out of fear that those rules will be abused and used to silence non-vile art: BUT, they don't support it and they don't want it around;

also, Lily up and lied to her audience, first that she ever wrote Stockholm then that the videos were she admitted to writing it were deepfakes and that the fanfiction's graphic bits were edited in by bronies who were mad at her.

stole (ie. copy-pasted other people's writing) other people's words and passed them off as her own

CONSTANTLY talks over people of color and other queer people. I'm too damn white and not native to dictate if Lily is truly 'native' or not. What she does/say though in the name of fighting for other lgbtq and bipoc folk is really scummy.

and that's JUST the tip of the iceberg!! Lily-

had PatchworkHearts make graphic p0rn of her behind her[Lily's] partner's back, most of which Patchwork was not comfortable with making but did so out of desperation that Lily took advantage of, including drawing r@pe-bestiality of on of Lily's x's ocs.

is quite possibly is a serial sock-puppeteer; creating accounts to live out her darker fantasies. On the offchance that Tara Callie is somehow a real person, than that real person is vile as hell and was just as much (longer so) a friend of Lily's than she was Britt's, so it's cruel of Lily to act like Britt was complacent in Tara's crimes and not her.

has been accused of lying about medical ailments to get money from her audience.

immediately dumped ILoveKimPossiblealot for having the gall to talk to LIly's accusers and get their stories, rather than just take Lily's word.

keeps instinctively misgenders people and only stops when she gets any heat for it like she did to EssenceofThought. By contrast every one of her main critical blogs has not misgendered or deadnamed her, and the one who initially did has actively avoided deadnaming and misgendering her since.

in now deleted videos and older tumblr posts, told friends of abuse victims not to care about their abused friends and parents of incestuous siblings to accept their children's incest.

is being accused by her sibling of CSEM. Lily has said it's the other way around but then also draws her sibling as the darvo'd sister from an incest game, dismisses said siblings abuse at the hands of their half sibling because Lily 'loves' him, and also proudly has mentioned beating up said sibling and slying saying she 'ran off with a pedophile' at 17 as though being taken advantage of (I know, Courtney does not view said relationship like this) is the sibling's fault.

And that's all I could remember for a single post. Im going to go back and post links once this headache I'm suffering from is sated.

[our-aroace-experience]

I had one today.

This guy I'm friends with kept flirting with me. He was all like look at how cool this is or Im so cool and showing off.(we were in PE) From years of experience and seeing it happen I know this is flirting because at the end he said "hey it was very cool to talk to you today". And he wanted me to come with him for lunch.

And I was really dismissive about it. Trying to avoid that topic. Basically I was being cold. And I feel bad because I'm uncomfortable and he I guess likes me.

I'm also out in school but a lot of people still view me as feminine so I don't know what he is attracted to about me.

I feel so bad because this has happened before and I turned them down so they don't talk to me. (They were also transphobic anyway). But I don't want it to happen with this guy.

He's also heard me say that I don't date and stuff. But I feel like he's one of those "but you can make an exception because I'm not like other people"

He's a cool dude. He's funny. He's smart. He's caring without being overbearing. But.... I'm not built for relationships like that.

So yeah that's my experience today. :/

i’m sorry to hear that, it’s hard to lose a friend because of romantic feelings

[cl0ckworkqueerness]

honestly a lot of posts on tumblr fucking rot my brain especially in regards to transmisogyny and transandrophobia, not because either are stupid or not serious, but rather because many conversations are focused on pointing fingers at one or the other and saying "no no no, they're actually the ones who benefit from the patriarchy!".

i must also emphasize that not all conversations are like this.

but i'd like to remind both myself and the rest of you that most people who are vocal about one of them are usually okay with, if not in support of, discussion about the other. even if they primarily talk about one instead of the other, that's usually because that's the type of oppression they specifically face, and do not discredit any other types of oppression.

at the end of the day, the trans community is divided by nothing but itself. transphobes don't care about what "type" of trans person they're talking to, they want all trans people gone.

immediately, a person's first thought may be to go on the defensive when they see a post about a type of oppression they don't face. well, this post doesn't center me, so it must be dismissive of my oppression! is a thought that may cross your mind, but is not inherently true. specific types of discrimination are not exclusive to just one group-- any group can face a unique hostility depending on who they are, or what people think they are.

at the end of the day, i don't think transradfems genuinely hate trans men. i don't think they despise us with a passion and want us to leave the trans community. most of them, anyway. they, like us, just want to get their specific avenue of oppression to have more eyes on it, to have a solution to remove it from society, or at least to have some relief in talking about it. unfortunately, it seems like they are in a position where they feel like any discussion of trans-specific oppression is speaking over them, or silencing them, or treating their oppression like it is not as bad and horrific as it truly is. our intentions don't matter, it doesn't matter if we also talk about transmisogyny, because merely the act of implying there is any form of specific transphobia besides transmisogyny makes us transmisogynists.

the solution to this problem is not to stop talking.

the solution to this problem is not to minimize our own struggles.

the solution to this problem is not to harass transradfems, and tell them that they Must hate trans men, even if they do say horribly transandrophobic things.

the solution is to continue talking, to have respectful conversations with the trans people around us, to open up about the horrible things we face that have been silenced and erased for so long. i know "infighting is bad!" is a take that a lot of people roll their eyes at, but it needs to be said: if your biggest enemy is another trans person, or a group of other trans people, you are fighting the wrong person.

yes, call out transmisogyny in the queer community. yes, call out transandrophobia in the queer community. yes, call out exorsexism and intersexism in the queer community. but do not make these people your #1 enemy. because at the end of the day, it is not the tumblr user who is legislating us out of existence, it is a bunch of cis people who are uncomfortable with us living our lives in any way except miserable.

[oscconfessions]

way too many people on here think that. "Media for kids = doesn't have to be quality/can be hot shit".

"It's for kids it doesn't matter", really? I don't want to go on the "kids are smarter than you think" yada yada. So instead I'll take a cabby from III 14. For all you know some kid might try to imitate/say what Bot said to a irl disabled friend of theirs. . And Yes I know you an adult know it's bad, BUT A KID MIGHT NOT!  "They should do their research" their a child! They like III and they might go "Well Bot from III did that and told Cabby to do that and Cabby ended up happy so I'm doing the right thing!" Especially when the media at hand tells them "Hey this is a perfectly okay thing to do". 

If it didn't matter then why were we all demanding II's writers change it? 

If  media for kids isn't important, why do people care about incorrect/stereotypical portrayals of minorities in it? Why should media for kids have episodes about more serious topics?

(((Before anyone interprets this wrong I'M saying we should care about this)))

And second of "it's for kids no wonder it's gonna be bad" is also such a crappy take. 

 (I've been on a scooby kick) Remember that Velma show that was literally made by a transphobe (Which was most likley made to own the left, it's a can of worms. Tldr: show is bad). Well if were going by age rating it should be the creme of the crop for scooby doo media! But it isn't! . Mystery inc (which albeit is Aimed at older kids, I'll give you all that) is regarded by all of the fandom as the best in the franchise. And (in many people's opinion) what's cool scooby doo(Aimed at kids) is the funniest one (even if all the characters look like seth mcfarland drew them, I'm being srs it's funny God watch it) If all media for kids is inferior to media for adults why isn't the fandom obsessed with Velma?

You all whine about how object shows have turned into corporate slop(which is a different argument and a whole other case of worms), but then you go "Oh they're all just meaningless stupid things for kids it's not that serious". 

Oh and don't get me started on how you guys act when it comes to media analysis/Fandom discourse. "It's for kids it's not that serious" Or "it's just a silly show" God forbid people feel emotion about a media that's for a age group younger than them. God forbid they care for something that isn't some "serious" and "important" masterpiece. I've seen people say "there's barely any analysis in the osc" Why should people analise things that are for kids? They're not as deep or Worthwhile as things for adults! 

I'm not saying you can't have object shows as your own fun little "turn my brain off" for a second thing, I'm just saying you all should stop acting like assholes about people who care about this media in a way different from yours. 

Before you go "What's the point it's just fictional". What's the point in any media analysis in that case! So many people cry "the osc has no media literacy/none of you understand the osc deeper" and then they say stuff like this. 

Look if you want to dismiss all fandom discourse go for it, but if your sole argument for that is it being for kids I will turn into the animaniacs reddit mod character 

God I'm sorry If I turned into every middle aged man cartoon reviewer. I'm not saying you can't just ENJOY things from time to time (not having some old guy in a room of action figures scream into my ear "DESPICABLE ME 2 ISN'T A GOOD MOVIE! IT'S NOT A DEEP PEACE OF ART" is nice. 

And I do believe some things can just be fun! I love just a fun Cartoon. But don't act like every single thing that isn't directed towards adults fits into that category. Also don't act like simple cartoons can't have genuine moments and love and care put into them, something dosen't have to be serious like HFJONE to have a serious topic/well writteen bit here and there.

I'm not saying object shows are fucking hamlet or Shakespeare or "Pan Taduesz"(the poles know). I'm just saying degrading all media criticism/discourse abt object shows because there for kids is an extremely stupid statement. 

I'm gonna fucking say it Tacomic discoursers Pro/Anti I fucking love you all, people act like your just "stupid idoits" But I know 90% have acctually HAD to analize II you've had to pay attention to small things to things most would find un important. (You all shouldn't be getting that petty over it) But still!

(This all also goes to the people saying I was never good, no one (from my knowledge) was unironically comparing it to Shakespeare. It was just a well written series and you're not ready to accept the fact that something you liked has writing issues. The only reason you're so shocked is because you were watching it as a kid and YOU thought you were watching high class art. But just because it isn't some Masterpiece in writing  mean it doesn't have ANY decent writing. Media dosen't have to be a to be a masterpiece to be worthy of being good. I don't know how to tell you this but enjoying some critically also had the word ENJOY in it, You don't only have to be critical of it because it's not some DaVinci art)

To end this corny long ask all I have to say is this

"It's made for kids" isn't a way to throw away all the criticism towards it, "it's made for kids" doesn't mean it's should have no quality control, 

"it's made for kids" dosen't mean you should undermine the effort and love put into it

(OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS THING SOUNDS LIKE A 10 YEAR OLD ON A FORUM POST WRITING A MANIFESTO I'M SO SORRY TO WHATEVER MOD HAS TO TAG AND READ THIS, this thing is mostly likely a ramble but this trend of saying "it's made for kids" unleashed some evil cartoon reviewer persona in me)

your apology is accepted-📻

[ftmtftm]

I do think it's worth pointing out that the crowd of people who talk about transandrophobia has a noticeable (definitely a minority, but unfortunately not so small that it can go completely ignored) subset of people who regularly engage in transmisogynistc rhetoric and cultivate an "us vs them" mentality between transfems and transmascs.

I say this as someone who believes in trans men's right (and necessity) to be able to speak on their own experiences with discrimination without feeling dismissed or ignored: I think it's important we point out when this behavior happens within the community and shut it down immediately. I don't trust anyone who talks about transandrophobia while diminishing the impact of transmisogyny in the same sentence, and I don't blame trans women who don't either.

"I don't trust anyone who talks about transandrophobia while diminishing the impact of transmisogyny in the same sentence, and I don't blame trans women who don't either."

So you are perpetuating, or at the very least enabling, in the exact same "us vs them" rhetoric by proxy then. You are legitimizing those people and their transmisogyny by treating the minority of shitheads as a reflection of the broader theory and the discussion on it - and those trans women are as well - instead of attempting to deplatform those people while also uplifting the people who aren't inflammatory and transmisogynist, and that, frankly, sucks.

I very firmly believe in not directly engaging with people like that if we are being completely honest. I'm personally very picky and choosey about who I engage with and how I engage with them because of that. I've been on the laterally transphobic end of these kinds of discussions, I'm very open about my transmedicalist history and how I've come out of it, and I speak from experience when I say engagement often makes people buckle down even more and get worse if we are being completely honest. Especially here on Tumblr. I think that was pretty evident with the transmed anon I got awhile back.

Those people who are transmisogynist are often lashing out and being laterally violent because something in their life offline is causing extreme distress. Be that dysphoria, home life, financial issues, trauma, etc. etc. there is usually something happening to make their life worse than they are open about and this conversation can be a form of digital self harm for them in many ways. Conversations on oppression usually poke open and bleeding wounds for people who aren't in stable places to begin with.

That's not an excuse for their actions, but hurt people hurt people and hurting caged animal will bite the closest, most convenient hand. That's something that can be addressed without platforming those people and encouraging others to not directly engage as well, because often? You're genuinely only making things worse for everyone by doing so.

Again, like I said earlier, in most cases, it is best to just block and move on - especially if you're not invested in having a blog of resources or discussion and you're just like... an average Tumblr user. It's not worth it to get sucked into those kinds of folks because genuinely - most of the time they need to get out on their own and that often comes with building offline community, not online theoretical discourse. Like, I have a decent number of people blocked specifically from my main but not from this blog because while I don't necessarily want to see their posts or engage with them myself, I think it's important my posts here are still seen by those people.

Like I said earlier as well, I don't necessarily blame the average person for not wanting to engage with communities they've had poor experiences with because of bad actors or people projecting pain, but I also hope the average person has enough internet literacy to understand what a bad actor or person bleeding out looks like in the first place so they simply block and move on.

Tumblr is full of vulnerable, hurting queer people who've been taking it out on each other for over a decade. It sucks but that's how this site is and will probably continue to be. It's best to acknowledge that and learn to recognize its manifestations so you can choose how you personally want to engage (or, hopefully, not engage) for your own sake.

[genderkoolaid]

hi! your blog's been encouraging to me as a trans guy, but i've recently felt that i should no longer call myself that/should just "go back to" being a girl, and idk if my train of thought makes any sense...so i just wanted to ask someone w more experience (but feel free to ignore this rant/call me out if im not making sense btw)

so yeah, my cousin's been out to me as a (binary) trans man for a few years now, and in trying to find understanding, i came out to him a few months later, but got a very flat/kinda disgusted reaction. despite my consistent support for him over the years, he has continued to "joke" about my looks/short hair and dismisses any attempts at serious conversations or even just jokes about gender/being a guy too. he also calls me things ive told him makes me uncomfortable (gender-wise) and then acts like it means nothing. he generally brushes me off by telling me to stop trying to compare myself to him, and is either prickly about it or just in-your-face "idgaf what you're talking about and i'm tired of you." it barely hurts me anymore, but ive felt connected to trans-ness for so many years (longer than id even known he was too) and his reaction to this part of me has honestly made me wonder if i'm just making it up/am trying too hard or something,,,like maybe i'm just trying to cover for being a gross 20-somethings woman ?? idk ?

i'm probably just being over-sensitive, and i dont feel it's outright malicious or anything (maybe he just doesn't think/care about it as much as me?), but i have nobody else to ask (no irl friends/people im out to) and i'm currently renting/living with him, which has brought these worries to the forefront. thanks if youve read this far, but please don't feel pressured to respond!

Your cousin sounds like he has a lot of internalized transphobia he's directing at you. Unfortunately there are trans people who try to prop themselves up and make themselves feel more confident in their transness by tearing down others. You are not being over-sensitive, and regardless of what he thinks he's doing, he's actively being cruel to you. You are well within your rights to be hurt by his actions. Living with someone who is constantly being transphobic to you is traumatizing- detransitioning can be a coping method for those who have to constantly defend themselves from transphobic abuse.

If its possible, I would recommend trying to see if there are any queer orgs in your area you could connect with (physically or online). At the least, you may find some people who can give you emotional support, and they also may be able to find you a better living situation. Even if that's not possible right now, keep reminding yourself that his behavior is cruel and you are allowed to be upset about it. You do not need to take any of his opinions on your gender seriously. You are not making up your transness or trying too hard. You are not over-sensitive, you are being hurt.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

I think the main problem I have with finsters fans is that they constantly talk down to trans people. like as if they think that being cis and gender non conforming is somehow more progressive and enlightened than being trans.

like, so many trans people themselves are gender non conforming. I'm gender non conforming. I'm 100% a woman even though my outward appearance is fairly neutral. every single one of my trans friends plays around with gender like it's a chew toy.

even if you're only talking about binary trans people who appear and present as their gender, society still sees them as less appealing than gender non conforming cis people.

to conservatives, the far right, and most of larger society, trans women are seen as men in dresses who deny reality and pretend we're women, and to them at least femboys will admit that they're still men. it's the same deal with trans men and masculine women. have you seen the way people talk about trans men like theyre lost and confused little girls who don't know any better? and the way they talk about non binary and intersex people is absolutely disgusting.

when I was transitioning, multiple people, including cis lgb people, told me that I shouldn't transition because I could just be a feminine boy instead. this is an issue that exists within the queer community itself.

I'm not trying to play oppression olympics, or even say that gender non conforming cis people aren't oppressed at all. I'm not even trying to say "you femboys have it easier. stop complaining".

I'm pointing out to finsters fans (not even finster himself) that the way to idolize cis gnc people while talking down and belittling trans people like we know nothing is ridiculous.

like, I don't watch finster at all. I've seen like maybe two clips from him. all I know is that people pay him to dress up as a girl. and I also know that he donated like $50k to organizations to help trans people. so like, I seriously doubt he's transphobic at all, and I feel like he's trying to redeem himself from the trap content he made in the past. and there's also maybe rumors going around that he's questioning his gender...

like, yeah, right now he's your funny femboy streamer who gets paid to dress up as a girl. but what happens if he transitions and presents how he wants without being paid to? will you still idolize him, or will you cast him aside and find another cis femboy to worship?

you're not being "progressive" by hyping up wealth rich white cis gnc people while dismissing and ridiculing trans people who don't love him. the actual progressive thing to do would be to mind your own business when someone doesn't like something you like, instead of trying to say that they're evil and morally corrupt or stupid for not agreeing with you.