#2 am thoughts are strange but this one has shaken me up so much like girl.... not everything is about your favorite unemployed legends!!!!

[exoexid]

just realized something and even tho it's something very silly i feel so bad about it 😭

[royaltealee]

Deathly silent

P x Puppet!Reader

⚠️Content warnings⚠️: Depictions of not understanding feelings~ (as one does when becoming human) Kidnapping, getting electrocuted (P's gonna go through it-)

Additional notes: Thank you to EVERYONE Who has found my blog and will continue to look forward to my other works being finished. I am entirely greatful to all of you, and I hope that you all have a fantastic holiday!

Without further adue~

Part: 1

Part: 2

Part: 3

You ran back to the Opera house, a harsh beating in your chest. You never thought that having a heart could hurt so much, is that what it was? A heart?

Sure you had one, but it felt so full of something. It's gears clicking in a beat of what a heart should be steady as. It had never felt like this before.

And your lungs burned, you shouldn't have them, yet they felt ever present... what was happening? Opening the large doors to the opera house, you were greeted with a handful of puppets awaiting your return. Running straight towards Romeo's room, where the half-puppet resided.

Almost as if he knew you were there, he opened the door before you could even knock.You see as his shoulders squared uncomfortably, eyes wide with shock. He spoke first.

"Are you alright? You look a bit shaken..."

A bit shaken was an understatement.

He watched as you fiddle with your fingers, unknowing what to do with them. He could tell you were under distress... but, something was blocking the feeling all together. He was usually able to gain feedback from other puppets, sort of like a hivemind of sorts. He couldn't reach you... not like he had before. It was like a thick wall was placed over your head, he couldn't feel anything that you were feeling, thinking, and it honestly worried the straw blond to his very core.You are one of his only friends that was still (Kinda) alive.

He would never forgive himself if something were to happen to you now, he knew Carlo would wring his neck from the grave if he could...

"I- I feel my heart pounding! Is it supposed to hurt this badly?! He- I saw him Romeo..!"

"What? You're speaking nonsense-"

"Carlo! I saw Carlo, Romeo!"

You felt your mechanical organ clench when you see his face turn from confusion, to utter shock, a type of shock that spurse him into wanting to cry, but he's unable.. in this new body of his.

"You... must be mistaken."

"Something's terribly wrong.." You took ahold of Romeo's arm, the man slowly turned his gaze to your... slightly more wet ones. "He looked more... puppet, less humane. But before he stopped attacking... he looked at me as if I was a whole new idea, never explored before. An answer." Was this a gut feeling? Romeo couldn't lie... You sounded so human in this moment, that it caused the blond to look you in the eyes for a moment.

He could recognize the emotions that plagued you now. It was foggy, but that hint of pure fear, and absolute hurt that was welled in the dents of your healing mind. If you weren't already showing signs of humanity already, you certainly were now.You weren't completely human, but you were slowly getting there.

Romeo took in a breath, closing his eyes, opening them up again before looking straight ahead out into the burning streets of Rosa Isabella.

"The last few months have only gotten worse for the populous of Krat. If what you say is true... And Carlo is somehow alive and well, I need you to bring him here." Romeo took your hand that had clung onto his arm. Feeling his strings tighten, while yours slacked. Looking back to your feeling struck eyes with such intensity.

"Bring our friend home."

-------------

"Gee, that was quite something; Huh P?"

Gemini spoke to the puppet boy, he could tell that he was lost in thought after the puppet he had fought had up and run away.

The strange language that sounded oh so familiar, but it never clicked with him. Questions running through his head at rapid speeds. He had thought you were one of the many attack stricken puppets he had encountered so far. But when Sophia's Ergo Butterfly had touched you, he saw something he could't recognize. As if someone had cleared your mind and opened your eyes.

Then a new emotion that he couldn't understand had struck you, and you fled.

P hated the feeling of confusion by now, he wanted to learn about so much now that he had a small taste of it.

Then, he could finally understand you, your words gave the boy a small feeling of longing, he really wanted to see you again. The puppet that had started to shift into his thoughts, like a brand new cog that made its own ticking beat beside his P organ heart. He had cross the threshold of Krat central station, and had saved The great inventor Venigni.

Venigni had told him about The Puppet King before, and he had felt he was almost there, the one possibly behind the Puppet frenzy. The Attack that single handedly destroyed the complete populous of Krat.

And his father, the one that had helped him though these times of complete and utter confusion, enlightened him to things that he felt were a bit too hard for the puppet to understand. Even Gemini ought to thank Geppetto for the extra guidance.

It was little over an hour walk to and from the rainy atmosphere of Hotel Krat and to Rosa Isabella Street, and that was *with the use of stargazers. The puppet boy had taken down some of the more dangerous Puppets in the area. The fire trickling through the streets would unnerve anyone, especially with the waning song that was blaring through the speakers meant to spread hope for Krat... It only brought an unsteady stomach.

P had kept his eyes sharp and peeled, any familiar colors or movements, a Puppet could come come racing around any corner. It's happened way too many times before, Gemini even helped (Somewhat-) with a sneak attack from behind. But it was usually all up to P with the fighting skills.

"Hey... is it just me, or does it feel like we're being watched right now?" Gemini asked with a small creek, the puppet also feeling that cold hard chill run against his metal spinal cord; he was more alert now.

And just like that, with his peripheral vision, a shadow figure had dashed past before he could take a good look. The inexperienced feeling of nervousness coursed through the puppet boy, it wasn't bad enough to the point of shut down, but he could definitely feel his P-organ heart start to hammer.

But sense nothing had outwardly attacked... he pressed through. He couldn't waste energy on a runaway fight that would go nowhere.

He couldn't say that he wasn't hoping it was the puppet he had faught, Sophia had told him that you were an old friend of Geppetto's, but as the story goes, you had become part of the puppet frenzy. He could see the methodical look on the blue haired girls pale face but couldn't make out what she was thinking.

Her powers were great, the voice of ergo helping him down the path of becoming more human by choice. New feelings were definitely overwhelming at times, but when he finally starts to feel... he couldn't have it any other way.

When he had asked Geppetto about you, his eyes... they held conflict. It wasn't long before his father had changed the subject completely, he did say something interesting though before the conversation had ended.

"They were real, but not really living. They had felt feelings... but it was a lie." He had finished after that.

"P BEHIND YOU!" Gemini had screamed at the terrifying onslaught of your figure bariling straight towards him. Snapping out of his thoughts, P had turned around quickly, his hand reaching for his sword, but felt the sharp blade of another cut through his sleeved wrist and catching the handle with the tip, flinging it out of its sheath in one swift move. P's weapon had clattered to the ground, quickly going to after it- only for his chest to be met with a quick jab of a shoe. His back had hit the gravily ground harshly, he also heard Gemini groan when his cage had jossiled and smacked against the pavement.

Trying to find his bearings, P had sat up unfocused glass eyes watched as a figure had appeared before him in his fogged up state. Blade pressed against chest where his heart should be, the hand that connected to it held that familiar blazing ergo blue ring right on their ring finger. He had found you! But the situation feels strangely deja-vu...

A word crackled in your voice; it was that strange language again. Oddly enough, the words sounded extremely more clearer than when other puppets had spoke in their blind rage and with oil filling up their lungs that P didn't have time to listen to their pained jumbled words. P looked to you with confusion yet again, not understanding a word you had just said, feeling you slightly lower your blade in thought, he thought that it was safe to at least stand up.

The blade followed quickly back towards him as he stood, watching as you tensed up from the sudden movement. But only seeing that he had just stood from the very likely uncomfortable ground... you made no more moves. A long amount of silence had enveloped the air, it felt thick, like a fog that couldn't be cleared up, two puppets having some sort of language barrier was seemingly unheard of. He could finally get a good look at you, wide eyes filled with a sort of sadness he couldn't quite place, your facial features made you look whimsical, very different from the other puppets he's seen, almost exactly like him.

Without so much as a thought, P had reached a hand towards your clasped ones, a single finger brushing against your closed fist. It seems that you had also been in your own mind as well, quickly pulling back quickly when seeing a bright light had flashed against the ring when physical contact was made. Staring at the pulsating ergo light, P could almost feel his gears turning in tandem with yours. Blue specks of light had flashed faintly in his eyes, as he let you take a minute.

"There's always something crazy going on when I leave my area..." You had grumbled, not noticing the puppet boy jump from the familiar language spilling from your lips. P had quickly stepped closer yet again, curiosity overshadowed his suspicions.

"Again."

Now you were the one looking baffled, a swift turn of the head caused P to tilt his head in question. Those eyes held secrets that he wanted to discover, after all, Sophia had once said that the soul is laid within the eyes, and they were true to every human he has encountered, so he had made it a goal to try and peer and look through the depths of one's pools every now and again to find... something. But never in his weeks of existing has he seen a fickle of life in the other puppets eyes, no life had shone in them; only the sparkle of rain and clouded dust settled on them faintly.

But you... yours were akin to a humans, so deep he could almost fall in...

"What do you mean again?" P was shaken from his thoughts yet again, he swears he could almost hear Gemini's stifled laughter.

"I could understand you now." His answer was a lot more blunter than what he had meant to- in all honesty, P hadn't had the need to talk all that much. It was just a normal occurrence to him to give answers only when spoken to, so when trying to find words after his usual one liners and small sentences were the norm for him.

You had taken another short break to digest the conversation unfolding between the two of you, P could almost see the thoughts that were running through your head when you thought of the next choice of words.

"What... is your name?" You had asked.

"My name..."

P started picking at the exposed gears on his legion arm, he didn't know outright what his name truly was, everyone around just mentioned him as "Geppetto's puppet" so... he made use of what he was usually called.

"P, as in the letter."

You had mumbled the name under your breath, seemingly testing it against your tongue. A revelation had graced your face seeing as you had now completely lowered your weapon, watching as he went to grab his own weapon and place it back in its sheath. He could almost feel his ears burn for more of your voice - it was an odd feeling really, one where your heart could not stop pumping, was a heart attack about to happen without his knowledge?

Looking for more words, he felt Gemini rock against his cage, whispering lowly: "Ask for her name!" P looked down at the kricket with an annoyed sour expression, feeling as if a parent was pushing a shy child toward another kid during free time to socialize.

"Are you going to be going to the Opera house?" The other puppet asked, causing P to have his attention be stolen from his thoughts yet again. The Opera house was of many areas he needed to check out- but not now. He still needed other things to take care of before heading over. The puppet boy shook his head, but stopped once he saw you looked you needed more than just a head shake.

"No... but soon." He could see your face almost fall into a look of disappointment, but held your neutral facade. By god, all of this thinking will surely get him killed one day.

You took a step forward, putting your weapon away in truce of no harm will be done to one another. Placing a gentle (And surprisingly very warm) hand onto his shoulder, you peered up at the boy, a regretful look flashed through your eyes, making him question- what were you so worried about?

"I do deeply apologize for what I'm about to do."

Before P could question you, a tremendous pain coursed through his body. Blue sparks of electricity had ran up his chest, down his arms and legs, and straight into his head. He couldn't protect his body fast enough from an Electro-blazer being shoved into his abdomen. and soon... he was out.

[luimagines]

The Chain Confesses While Your Hurt/Upset Part 3

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

The third and final part of this instalment will include Sky, Twilight and Hyrule!

You know the drill, content under the cut!

Sky

Sky was on watch again and there was still some time before the sun was supposed to rise.

Strangely, he felt more awake than he knew he usually would.

It was unnerving and Sky didn’t know what to do with change or what it meant.

He sighed and let the sounds of the terrain cascade over him. The gentle whispers from the breeze shook the leaves and there was subtle calls from the wildlife through the night.

It was calming.

Sky couldn’t figure out why he was so tense. 

He took another breath and look around his friends, all asleep and worn out from the day’s events. Even he could admit it was rather uneventful considering their circumstances, but he welcomed it.

As he glanced at each of his companions, he felt his gaze linger on you a little longer.

He knew he was smitten with you.

He knew that if you were to ask him- he’d give you his heart, soul, and everything in between. There was little he wouldn’t do for you and every time you so much as smiled at him, he would collapse into a warm puddle within himself.

But you weren’t smiling right now.

Actually the longer he stared, the more it looked like you were actually quite upset.

A nightmare?

Sky stood up and made his way over to you, trying his hardest to not step on the boys in the process.

It was only when he squatted by your side did you whimper and curl further into yourself. 

Seeing as you weren’t awake just yet, it gave all the information Sky needed to make his decision.

He reached over and shook your shoulder violently and took a step back.

You jolted awake with a gasp and blinked your eyes a few times, taking in your surroundings. Sky waited for you to realize where you were before he reached forward again. “Hey. You ok?”

“Oh.” You took in a breath and sat up. “I... I think so.”

Sky sat down next to you and brushed your hair away from your shoulder and out of your eyes. 

“Was it bad?” You ask him.

“You tell me.” Sky smiles a bit.

“I wasn’t thrashing around too much, was I?” You reiterate and look around the group. “I didn’t wake anyone up?”

“No, it was actually kind of hard to tell you were even having a nightmare.” Sky admits.

“Oh... ok, good, that’s probably the best case scenario.” You gulps and place your hand over your heart, taking long deep breaths to calm yourself down. “Thank goodness it was just a dream.”

“Was it bad?” Sky throws your question back at you.

You startle and look Sky in the eye, gripping your blankets with iron like strength. Sky takes a note.

“It...” You shake your head. “It could have been worst. It wasn’t even that scary. Just... disturbing...and sad. I’d rather not have those mental images again.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Um.... Can I join you?”

“Absolutely.” Sky stands up and gives you his hand. You take it without hesitation and let him lift you onto your feet. Silently, you follow him back to the watch log and take a sit next to him. You’re still a little shaken by what you’ve seen in your own mind and you don’t mind taking a moment to digest and process it.

Sky for his part is staring to feel a little silly. He wants to spend more time with you, yes, but now what? And how does he not make a fool of himself now that he’s actually spending time alone with you?

A part of him is starting to catastrophize, thinking of all the ways he can do something stupid and completely ruin his reputation. For all he knows he’s going to trip (even if he’s sitting right now) and fall right into the fire. You’d laugh at him- never take him seriously again and then he’d really never have a chance with you.

He knows it’s illogical and it’s actually not the worst thing that can happen- but his nerves at getting to him and it’s making him question everything.

“Sky, can I ask you something?” You say after a tense moment of silence.

“Sure.” Sky’s voice cracks. He coughs a little to clear his throat and tries again. “Yeah, anything. Go ahead.”

“Why do I make you so nervous?” You say.

Suddenly Sky feels like he’s been punched in the heart. For all the wrong reasons.

Your voice is quiet and resigned... your sad and you don’t look at him. “Do I scare you or something? Is there something about me that you don’t trust? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, no, not at all.” Sky rushes to quell your fear, even if he’s starting to panic.

“Then what?” You sigh and pull your knees up. “Did I make you upset? I know you don’t like confrontation but I don’t know why you’ve been getting worse... If it was something I did, you can tell me, I’m grown, I can take it, what did I do wrong?”

“You did nothing wrong.”

“Well, I’ve had to have done something.” You snap. “You always try to end the conversation early and leave. You don’t like spending time with me, and you almost never answer my questions with a full sentence. You can never look me in the eye and have to wonder what on earth goes through your head if you don’t even want to stand next to me. Sometimes I think you’re just nice to me because you’re a good person but I don’t think you like me very much.”

Sky gulps heavily and begins weighing his options.

“I think you know that I like you.” You mutter.

Wait. WHAT?

“Is that what the problem is?” Your voice jumps a little on the last word and it sounds like you’re going to cry. “Was I too obvious? Did I make you uncomfortable? God, I’m sorry. I can pull back. I’m pretty sure you have a girlfriend anyway.. right? That Zelda? I mean, your Zelda? You’re together, aren’t you? I’m so stupid. Of course you’re together, what on earth was I thinking?”

“We’re not.” Sky jumps in his seat and twists his body to face you head on. “You’re wrong. You’re so wrong. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Sky reaches over and grabs your shoulders, twisting you around as well so that you’d look at him.

You look away regardless and scoff. “You’re a catch. I doubt that you’re single.”

“I.. Am very flattered but you’re still wrong.” Sky laughs a little incredulously. He can’t believe this. Is this really happening? “Believe it or not I am very single.”

“Oh.” You sniff and reach up to pinch your eyes together, trying to subtly wipe away the tears neither of you have mentioned. “I’m sorry I’m a mess. I can leave you alone if you want.”

“That’s the last thing I want.” Sky blurts and belatedly realizes that he said that out loud.

“Then what? What is it? Work with me Link, because I’m not a mind reader.” You sit a little taller and finally look at him. “What do I have to do so that you’re comfortable around me? I don’t like the feeling of there being some....kind of mine field that I’m left dancing around. I really don’t want to see it blow up on either of us.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Sky gulps. “It has nothing to do with you. I’m the problem.”

“That’s always the answer isn’t it.” You scoff again and unfurl yourself, turning away from him. “The ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ scenario.”

“It’s because... I-” Sky bites his lip and cups your cheek experimentally, putting just enough pressure to guide your face back to him but letting you fight him if you so desired. 

You don’t and you let face be held by him for a moment.

“I love you.” Sky says to you, trying to hold eye contact and will the truth into your head. “I’ve been in love with you for a while now. I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess. I never wanted you to feel unwanted or give off the impression that it was anything less.”

You stare at him, eyes growing comically wide.

Sky gulps at the lack of verbal reaction and tries to laugh to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work but he tries. “I uh- haha- didn’t do a very good job at hiding it, I guess.”

“Oh my god, I’ve read all the signs backwards.” You whisper.

Sky snorts and leans into your direction. “You can say that, yeah.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“You are not stupid.” He growls. “Stop calling yourself that. I’ll fight you over it.”

“And don’t want that, do I?”

“No. No you do not.”

“Ok.” You break into a grin and laugh after a second, running your hands through your hair. “Are you serious? You like me? Me? The most boring person here?”

“We’re going to have a have a long talk about this and why you can’t keep putting yourself down.” Sky frowns. “You are not stupid and you are not boring. You are intelligent and thoughtful and kind and amazing and like no one I’ve ever met. I bet I could search for a million years and I’ll never come across someone quite like you.”

“You’re going to make me cry.”

“I’ll be here to dry your tears. It’s ok.” Sky grins and places both of his palms against your cheeks.

“I love you.” You blurt and place your hand over his, turning into it to hide your blushing face behind them.

“And I love you.” Sky leans in some more and places a kiss against your forehead.

“Can I stay up with you a little more?”

“Please.”

Twilight

The postman ran into the group, almost bowling them over with an urgent letter held high. He asks if there’s any one in your group with your name and Twilight sees the despair collide onto your face.

You raise your hand and slowly take the letter away from him. You thank him with a tense and fake smile out of politeness and watch as he leaves.

You’re scared to open the letter and Twilight belatedly remembers the trouble you’ve mentioned that’s been brewing during your absence.

Twilight frowns as he watches you read the letter, each sentence apparently worse than the last.

He sees you shut down and put your walls up from the rest of the group.

Your whole demeanor changes and you don’t even finish reading the letter. The contents upset you so much that you fold it in half again and shove it in your pocket.

“Let’s go.”

Wind bite his lip. “Are you o-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You snap and head off in the direction they were going in before they paused for you to get your mail. Your steps are fast and determined, light and flighty, like you’re seconds from running or breaking out in a sprint but don’t want to make a scene.

The group exchanges multiple glances and hesitantly follow you, no one saying a word about what happened or what they think the letter said.

Twilight can guess though.

A while ago a similar letter arrived for you that also held bad news. It threw you into a funk for a few days and it took all of their combined efforts to distract you and help you feel better. It had seemed that there was some trouble back home that you could do nothing about.

He figures that this letter was sent to tell you it got worse. 

With a sigh he marches on and waits.

Twilight waits until nightfall.

The others have taken the subconscious decision to leave you alone and wait until you’re a little more sorted out. The younger ones seem to be under the impression that you’re angry- and maybe you are- and they don’t want to risk having your wrath pointed in their direction.

But Twilight has seen enough to know your look.

Time knows it. 

Warrior knows it too

And maybe if he studies for long enough, he would see Wild figure out the look as well.

You’re ready to rain absolute hell fire but you can’t. 

It upsets you and he tempted to think your fury is more out of sadness than any actual rage.

When it’s his turn to take watch and he’s sure that Four has fallen asleep again, he makes his way over to you and studies you for a moment.

He places a hand on your shoulder and shakes you lightly. “I know you’re not actually asleep.”

“Buzz off Twi.”

“Want to walk it off?” He offers. “I still have to check the perimeter. Some company would be nice.”

You sigh and let your arm fall off of your face to look in the eye. you stare at him for a moment and Twilight tries to ignore the budding bullets of sweat that begin to down his back. “...Sure.”

He smiles a bit, for your sake, because it hurts him to see you so upset still. Twilight extends his arm out for you to take and you slip your hands into his. He lifts you up with practiced ease and together to begin to walk out of the camp and around what they’ve set up as their perimeter.

Usually Twilight would take his wolf form and do the job this way but that probably would have tipped your hand since you weren’t asleep to begin with. 

“Let me guess.” You start once you’re far enough away. “You want to ask me what the letter was about. Get me to spill my heart out and tell you all my secrets and help me feel better.”

“I’d want to help you feel better regardless if you told what was in the letter or not. You don’t have to tell me anything.” Twilight admits with a slight blush on his face. “But movement always helps me think. Or if you want to think about something else for a little bit instead of the letter, we could just talk about other stuff too... Whatever you need... I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

You take a long breath from your nose and let it slowly out your mouth. “I know... I know that Link. I’m sorry.”

He’s never heard you say his name before.

Twilight doesn’t know if he hates it or not. 

I mean, he’d gladly hear you say his name, don’t get me wrong... 

But in that tone? With that level of... resignation? Despair? 

You sound like you’re about to cry.

“It’s just...” You start and stop in the middle of the trail. You press the heel of your palm harshly into your eyes- maybe you really are about to cry. “My grandma is dying.”

Oh.

“She dying, Link and I’m not there. I thought she was just sick and it would only be a matter of time until she was back on her feet but she’s not getting any better. And to make stupid matters worse....You see... between me and my grandma, we take care of Zelda, she’s my cousin, and my little brother. My dad works and sends us money but he’s never home and my mom’s not around anymore and I don’t know what to do.”

Twilight places a hand on your shoulder, rubbing experimental circles on your back for a second. When you don’t push him away he slides into your personal space and hugs you, squeezing you tightly until you let go of the stress that’s no doubt building inside of you.

You hug him back just as hard and it surprises him for a moment. “I couldn’t even finish that stupid letter. It said that... We can’t... My dad can’t come home yet and god, Twi, they’re just kids. They can’t be left alone. Link is five and Zelda is seven. There’s no one who’s going to take care of them. They’re going to take them away. They’re going to take my little brother away.”

Twilight bites his lip and can feel himself understanding the situation a little more. Kinda. Maybe. Ok no. Not really. He wants to say that someone else from your hometown can pitch in and help. That they should have been helping from the get go. It’s how it works in Ordon and it sounds like the others would be in similar boats if this was their family but from what he’s gathered your Hyrule is very different.

He doesn’t know how things work in your Hyrule and he doesn’t know who this ‘they’ is but he can guess that’s it someone (or some people) with more power than you do, especially since you’re not home right now.

He can hear it in your tone.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He asks instead. He doubts it but god! How he hates to see you in pain! 

“Not unless we somehow end up in my world and we bring them with us.” You wince and hide your face in his neck. “They’re just kids Link. I... I don’t think  I’m even old enough to fight for them. They’re going to say I’m too young and that I don’t have a job... even if it’s my dad who’s been paying for all of us...I hate their stupid politics and political junction and they just want to rip away what they don’t have.”

“Who’s taking care of them right now?” Twilight cradles your head with his hand, keeping his arm tightly wrapped around your waist. “Who’s taking care of your grandma?”

“The neighbors, I think.” You sniff. “But it’s already putting a strain on them. They’re not going to hold out much longer. I won’t even be able to say goodbye to my grandma. God, this is such a mess.”

“I’m sure we’ll get the chance to fix this- there’s no way this would just happen. We’d help you. We’d all pitch in. If it does happen that we need to take them, we will. We’ll find a safe space for them. Maybe Time will lend the Ranch, I know they’d be welcome in my village and Wild’s too, maybe. You’re not alone in this, ok?”

“Would you really do that?” You tilt your head up. He nods and you nearly tear up again. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Twilight gulps and grips your tight once again. I love you, he thinks, would I even need a reason to help you?

Your grip tightens on him in return and Twilight takes a moment to try and calm his heart. “We should try to contact your dad and see if there’s any way for him to do anything-”

“Oh my god he’s going to kill me.”

“Why?”

“...”

“...”

“... He may or may not know that I’m here.”

Twilight tenses and nearly groans. “Do I even want to know why?”

“In my defense, I told my grandma. My dad... doesn’t really care about me anyway. He doesn’t really care for my brother anyway. Zelda is his favorite. It’s why she’s with us. But I am supposed to be there to help grandma... not out here... saving the world.”

Twilight sighs and shakes his head fondly. “We’ll figure something out. I promise.”

He’d take care of your family in a heartbeat if you’d let him. Twilight takes a breath. He loves you so much- if could fight all your problems away he would.

“I believe you.”

“Yeah,” Twilight lets you go and  begins to guide you back through the forest trail. “We should get going, the perimeter isn’t going to check itself.”

“What? Link wait.” You grab his bicep and pull yourself closer again. “Do you mean it?”

“Of course I do.” He smiles. “We’d all help. I know it. You don’t have to worry too much about it.”

“No I... Yes, that. Thank you but that wasn’t what I was talking about.” You shake your head and wait or him to answer, trying to will into his head what it was that you were referencing.

Twilight thinks for a moment and tilts his head. “About the ranch or my village? Malon might have her hands full if she’s willing to watch them for us but there’s plenty for them to do there. And my village has a soft spot for foundlings anyway. I’m sure they’d be overjoyed to have young children playing around again. Wild’s house in Hateno has kids their age too, so it’s another good place for them, and they’d already have the house open for them.”

“No, no, not that either.” You gulp. “A bit... a bit after that...”

“About contacting your dad?”

“No- not...” You blush deeply and begin to nervously shuffle on your feet.

It’s weird because Twilight can’t think of anything that he said that would have that reaction.

“You said you loved me.” You say in a small voice. 

Twilight then pales to hard that he’s not sure how he manages to stay on his feet. He’s almost certain he can feel the moment where his soul leaves his body.

“That you’d take care of my family, that you’d fight my problems...” You continue without knowledge of the bomb you’ve just dropped. “Do you mean it? Or am I looking too much into it? Because I’ve always thought you might have had a thing for me and but I didn’t want to be the one to read the situation wrong but if you’re saying out loud-”

“I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.”

Twilight voice does not crack when he says this.

“Oh... um..” You bite your lip. “Is it-? Am I wrong then? Did you not say that? I thought- Well, I wanted... I do like you, so I had hoped.... But if you’re not-”

“No, I do! I am! I-! URRGGHH-!” Twilight cuts himself off and ruffles his hair furiously with both of his hands. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. This is probably to lamest way you could have found out.”

He hides his face in his hands and doesn’t look up when he hears you quietly giggle. “Do you mean it though?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t look up.

He hears you approach him and refuses to meet you in the eye. He doesn’t look at you even when you gently take his hands and pull them away from his face. Even when you caress his cheek and steer him to the side. His eyes do however nearly bulge out of his head when he feels your lips on his cheek.

“I love you too then.” You smile.

“I didn’t want to lose my cool.”

“Can’t lose what you never had.” You snort and move his hair away from his forehead, admiring the blush on his cheeks and ears. “I’ll go back to camp. You finish checking up on the perimeter.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah... I should be asleep anyway.”

“Ok... Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight Link and thank you. I feel better now.”

“I’m glad.”

Hyrule

“I bet you ten rupees that you can’t make that jump.”

“I say twenty that I can.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it then.”

Hyrule smirks and takes a few steps back, letting his gaze drift just beyond the chasm and toward his target. “I’m about to be twenty rupees richer.”

“Just don’t injure yourself.” You cross your arms. “I don’t have the patience to deal with Legend’s smothering when he finds out I challenged you.”

“He’d be smothering me, not you.” He snorts.

“Yeah, but you’ll be fine.” You deadpan. “It’s not even that deep. Besides he’ll blame me for it no matter how badly you get hurt.”

“I’ll try to land safely then.”

“Not a single bruise!”

“For your sake.”

“Thank you.” You put your weight onto one foot, shifting your hip outward to watch as Hyrule takes a running start. “Don’t die.”

“I love your vote of confidence.” Hyrule snorts and leaps at the last second off of the ledge.

He jumps higher than you would have imagined him to be capable of and it stuns you completely. Hyrule for his part, lands on the other side, unharmed and on both of his feet.

He turns around with a large grin on his face and places his hands on his hips as he looks you in the eye. There’s the slight smell of magic in the air but you don’t question or notice it. “Your turn.”

Your jaw drops. “I am not doing that.”

“Come on. It’s not so bad.” He laughs and smirks at your disbelief. “I’ll call off the bet if you can make it. You know what, instead, let’s double it.”

“I can’t make that.” You screech. “You’re crazy!”

Hyrule snorts. “You’re scared~!”

“I’m not scared!”

“Scaredy cat! Scaredy cat!”

“Fine! I’ll do it!” You pout and take the few steps to the side where he took his running start. You take a breath and try to set up the same process that he did.

With your running start, you leap a little later than Hyrule did, because there’s no way you can jump as high as he did, and you can see how this is going to end.

You’re not going to make it.

Hyrule sees it too and tries to make a mad dash to the ledge with his hand out to grab you. 

Your fingertips brush against each other and Hyrule jumps at the last second to grasp your hand...

He misses.

You fall.

“NOO!” Hyrule’s voice rips through his throat and he falls right onto his chest by the ledge in some desperate attempt to catch you but it’s no use. He sees you crash into the wall, a sickening crack coming from your body and you fall down. Your knees bend as your feet make purchase on the dirt but inevitably slip and it only curls you into a ball, rolling you backwards until you eventually hit the bottom of the relatively shallow ravine.

And by shallow, I mean it’s more or less a twenty foot drop.

Survivable?

Absolutely.

Will you come out unharmed?

Well...

“I’m so dead.” Hyrule mutters to himself and gets to his feet. He dashes along the edge, trying to find a point where he can jump down safety and get back to you. It takes a total of five minute for him to find a quasi decent spot. It’s a half baked idea and he knows it but he jumped down the lesser distance and runs back in the direction he came.

You’re getting up slowly by the time he reaches you and he forces himself to go a little faster.

“I think I figured you out, you cheater.” You groan when you look up and see him. “You used your magic to make that jump.”

“Uhh...”

“What on earth made you think that I was going to do the same?”

“I over shot it? So you should have been fine?” Hyrule chuckles nervously and reaches over to brush your hair out of your face.

Blood is absolutely pouring down your face and it looks as if you have a broken nose.

“Link, I’m going to punch you.” You groan and place your hands by your nose.

“No, wait, hold on-” Hyrule gulps and places his hands on your wrists, trying to stop you.

In one fluid motion to pop your nose back onto place and sigh of relief.

Hyrule’s eye widen and he’s both horrified and impressed. 

“What?” You snap.

“I’m in love with you.”

“What?” You say again.

Hyrule’s hands fly over his mouth. “Nothing. I said nothing! You’re hearing things. Let me just- umm...”

You send his healing spell over in your direction and lets it go permeate through the space.

“Link.”

He looks away from you.

“What is wrong with you?” You furrow your eyebrows. “Don’t say something like that unless you mean it.”

Hyrule gulps and bite his lip. Because he means it.

“We don’t have to talk about this.” You sigh and let him heal you. 

Hyrule doesn’t respond and focuses on letting the spell fall against your nose and your back. 

“Rulie?” You blink and finally look at his face. “How much trouble do you think we’ll be in if we get caught? Legend will probably have both of our heads if he finds out about it.”

A moment of silence passes.

“I don’t think Time will do much about it and Twilight doesn’t have the pull he thinks he has in the group.” You continue when he doesn’t reply, nervously shifting in your spot as Hyrule works. “Warrior will probably keep on a tighter leash than usual though.”

He doesn’t say anything, letting the spell fall. Hyrule feels a little drained after using as much magic has he already has but he can’t help but feeling a little miffed. 

“Link, please say something.” 

“I meant it.” He’s barely able to hold back the scowl because he knows he’s not that impressive and you’re so amazing that there’s not way in this green earth that you’re not already taken. So of course, you’d just assume that he’s being fresh and brush him off.

“What?”

“I meant it.” He looks your way. “I wasn’t joking.”

“Uhhh..”

Hyrule huffs a bit when he see that you don’t understand him yet. “I’ve been in love with you for a while now.”

You still and he can see you gulp slightly. “Oh.”

Hyrule feels like a child and he leans away from you, falling onto his back. “Anything still hurt?”

“Um... No...” You shift your weight again and grip your wrist. “I feel a lot better now. Thank you.”

“Good.” Hyrule stands and reach out for you to take his hand. “We should head back to the others.”

“Hyrule.”

“They’re going to start getting worried about us.”

“Link.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” You bite your lip and and stop him from going any further. “Are you serious? Did you mean it mean it? Because I didn’t want to discredit-”

He sighs and grips your hand a little tighter and brings it up to his lips. Hyrule places a delicate feather like kiss on your knuckles and lowers it just enough to study your hand in his. “It’s fine. I doubt your partner would appreciate it anyway if I were to just-”

“I don’t have a partner...” You gulp and grip his tighter in reply. “I’m not in a relationship. I didn’t... I’m not trying to-”

“Forget it.” He smiles a little falsely. “Like you said, we don’t need to talk about it.”

“Oh.... Oh Link...” You frown and step into his personal space, placing both of your hand on his shoulders.

“I don’t need your pity. It’s fine.” He rolls his eyes and tries to pull away from you.

“No, please, not like this...” You stop him and hug him tightly. “I love you too! I panicked when you said that! Don’t- don’t shut me out! Please.”

“What happened to not saying that unless you mean it?”

“Liiinnkk...” You groan and place your face into the crook his neck.

Hyrule doesn’t deny how nice it feels to have you hold him. Slowly, he raises his arms to wrap them around you as well. You’re warm and your heart beat is strong even with your layers and armor. He takes a breath and is assaulted by your smell. It strangely reminds him of vanilla and cinnamon with freshly churned dirt and morning dew thrown into the mix. An odd combination but he finds that it’s pleasant.

“God, I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear? I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I panicked. I swear I panicked.” You nuzzle into him and he won’t deny the way his heart flutters as you do so.

“Calm down. It’s ok.”

“It really isn’t!”

“It is because I say so.” Hyrule snorts and rests his head against yours. 

“Do you really think the others are looking for us?”

“Maybe. But I don’t think we actually have to go back just yet.”

“Then stay here? With me?”

“Yes.” Hyrule sighs of contentment and begins to sway with you back and forth. “I’d love nothing more.”

[roadtogracelandx45]

All in Heartbeat| Top Gun/ Top Gun Maverick | 1 of 3

@luckyladycreator2 @prettyinpayne

Masterlist

All In A Heartbeat 

Summary: All it took was 2 seconds for a distracted truck driver to blow through the red light and slam into Charlotte’s vintage convertible and flip it over several times. Leaving both Charlotte and Bianca in critical condition. 

IceMav

Past Mav/Charlie

Rated M for language and graphic descriptions of car accidents and surgical stuff 

          Also I don’t know much about surgeries or how things are done in the OR. I am taking what  I learned from watching ER and Chicago Med. 

~*~

All it could take a millisecond for everything to change in someone’s lives and that millisecond happened on the first day of summer vacation for Bianca Kazansky, Charlotte Blackwood the woman that carried her for Iceman and Maverick had picked her up to go to the bookstore  and hang out for awhile. 

It was a tradition that they always did. And it gave the girl a break from spending most of her free time with her grandparents and great grandfather, who told a lot of horror stories about Russia, Germany, and the world wars.  That was something that Bianca needed to hear until she was a lot older, like she was in her 20s.  

Charlotte was shaken out of her thoughts when Bianca’s voice asked, “Charlie? Were things always this strange between Dad and Mav?” Charlotte glanced at the girl who was seated across from at the small diner they visited frequently. “You mean the on and off, hot and cold?” Bianca nodded her head brushing some of her hair behind her ear as she did so. 

“Yes, it has always been like that. Maverick was very unstable and out of control when we first met him. He felt like he didn’t need to prove himself, he was already the best of the best.”  

Bianca’s mouth twitched like it was going to form a smile but fell quickly. 

“Did he take off again?”

 “Yeah, left yesterday before I got up for school. Didn’t bother to say goodbye.” Bianca refused to let Charlie see how truly upset she was by his leaving. “He was like that with me when Goose died.” 

The girl perked up a little bit, she had heard the stories of Goose and Maverick and their shenanigans and was curious.  Goose was the one subject that was rarely spoke about in the Mitchell-Kazansky household. And Bradley, Goose’s son didn’t remember much of him either and shut down when he was mentioned. So Bianca kept her curiosity to herself, which was one thing she was never good at.   

“Maverick is never good at staying in one place. This is the longest he has been settled in. That’s because of you and because of Bradley.”  

Bianca nodded her head and took a sip of her drink. 'Are you leaving back to the academy too?’ For the last several years, Charlie had been teaching at the Naval Academy and came back to California during the summer breaks.

 “At the end of next week. They want me back sooner, they have a bunch of new cadets coming in. Did you decide on what you want to do when you grow up?”  

Bianca was turning 14  on the 17th of that month and was going into high school in the fall. And Charlie wanted to try and be there for her as much as she could. 

“Yeah, I want to go to the academy, and I think I want to be a lawyer.” “No Aviation for you?” The older woman questioned. “It's a harder program to get into and I don’t want to live up to my dad’s name ya know? Or Duke’s.”  Duke was Maverick’s father that disappeared on a mission and it was a long standing scandal making the Mitchell name not the best.  “Never say never kiddo, I think you are too much like both of your dads to stay grounded.” “That’s true.” Bianca agreed, “I do have a fall back plan just in case I can’t get into the academy.”

 Charlie raised her eyebrow in question. “Berkley and law school. I am not going to get my hopes up with the academy.”  The blonde smirked, she knew that Bianca was too much like her and too much like her fathers to give up a dream.  Especially one like the Naval Academy and the pilot program. “Come on kiddo, lets go to the book store and get you some summer reading so your great grandfather and grandpa do scare you to death with their war stories.” “But sometimes Charlie, I like the scary ones.” Bianca grinned as she pulled out several bills from her wallet and dropped on the table. 

~*~

Because of the light rain that they had, Charlie left the top on her convertible, making it more confined which she didn’t like but she had Bianca with her and she wouldn’t risk her getting sick over anything in the world. She may not have legal claim to her, that fell to Iceman and Maverick, but she did have that motherly instinct towards her. “There is this book I want to read about World War 2.” Bianca commented as she pulled out of the parking lot, “It's about the parachute infantry.”

 Seeing the look on Charlie’s face, she laughed, “I saw something on HBO about it and it got me curious.” Curiosity killed the cat and in most cases it could be the best of her. That's how she learned about Duke, at least the stuff she could do without having clearance for anything. 

“Well, let’s see what we,” the rest was cut off by squealing of brakes and Bianca screaming as the truck came closer and closer to them. Not sure what else she could since it was already on them, Charlie took her hand in hers and squeezed it. Once the truck hit the passenger side the car flung around in a circle so the front was pointing towards the direction where they had come from. Bianca’s screams of terror were the last thing that Charlie remembered hearing as another car slammed on its breaks trying to aviod the accident and smashed into the front of the car. The driver of the truck got out of the cab quickly and dialed 911 to come to the scene. 

“Charlie!” Bianca shouted as she tried to remove her seat belt from her lap, ‘Charlie! Wake up! Please!”  

“Hey sweetheart it's going to be okay.” The truck driver said, peering into the window at her, “The paramedics are on their way. And they will get you and your mom out of here.”  Bianca didn’t even register the comment, she was too busy trying to pry the seatbelt off, her fingers bleeding from the shattered glass that laid on her lap, her vision had started become blurred with blood for the open wound she had on top of her head along with the bits and pieces in her neck.  “Ice.” She muttered as she stopped pulling as hard on the seatbelt. “I am sorry?” It wasn’t the truck driver, it was an EMT. “I want my dad. He is a commander with the Navy.” She said, ‘your dad’s name is ice?” A fireman asked, distracting her from the noises of the jaws of life. “It’s his call sign. He is a pilot.” She started to fade a little bit from the pain and from the blood loss. 

“Hey, what’s your name?” The fire fighter asked again, pulling her attention back to him. 

“Bianca. Bianca Kazansky.”  The man’s eyes went wide, his brother served in the Navy and was a pilot with them and told him about Commander and how ice cold he was. Never showing any emotions except for when it came to his daughter. “Hey Bianca, sweetie, keep your eyes open.’ He said, her eyelids were fluttering, getting heavier and heavier with each one. “Bianca!” He called snapping his fingers by her ears, she glanced at him once more and then fully closed her eyes. 

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝐵𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Warning: Just one brief mention of kidnapping and being held hostage. Other than that, it's safe to proceed.

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

It felt like an eternity before someone opened the door and walked in.

Hongjoong took one look at you before widening his eyes. He looked back at one of men behind him and sighed.

"You had one job Hangyul and you couldn't even do it right?! This isn't the right person!"

Said Hangyul bowed his head and apologized profusely.

Hongjoong rubbed his temples in annoyance. He looked back at you and examined you closely. Even with your puffy hair, tear strained cheeks and messy hair, he thought you looked beautiful. The longer he looked at you, the more some weird feeling in his chest started to grow.

"What's your name?" He asked you.

You struggled to find your voice, but managed to utter out your name in a soft whisper.

It was almost like music to his ears.

"Well Y/N.....it seems we accidentally mistook you for someone else.....Ooops."

He really didn't know what to say to you. He felt bad that you were now standing before him, scared, trembling and no doubt hurt. Part of him told him to release you from your restraints, and hold you tenderly. Then one of his men reminded him:

"Hongjoong sir? Since we can't release a witness for security reasons, do you want us to get rid of her?"

Your head snapped up at the comment and you began desperately trying to break free.

"No please don't! I'm begging you! Have some mercy on me! Let me go and I swear I won't say anything to anybody!"

Hongjoong hesitated for a brief moment until your crying got louder and you said:

"I have a son! He's only 3 years old! I'm the only one he has! So please......." You begged, all the little strength you had left in your body began to slowly drain as you realized you might never see your son again.

That's all it took for Hongjoong to break.

"Release her."

The men looked shocked. "But sir-"

"I said release her. Now!" He commanded.

Instantly, all the ropes were cut and you were free. You tried to stand up, but you were so shaken up your legs gave out. Luckily, Hongjoong caught you in his arms and carried you away from there.

"I'm really sorry about this."

He ordered for his car and personally saw that you made it home safely. Even days afterwards, he still kept an eye on you and your son, whom he couldn't help but find adorable.

You noticed that someone was watching you when you suddenly started to receive strange packages that sometimes contained groceries, clothes or even toys. You wondered who could be sending these things.

Your question was answered when you took your son to the park. Hongjoong tried his best to stay hidden but you quickly found him. He stood there looking awkwardly at you.

"It was you wasn't it?" You asked him.

"Yeah....." He replied shyly. Seriously, he was one of the top mafia bosses. Why was a single mom like you making him nervous like a schoolboy?

"Mommy!" Your son ran up to you.

You picked him up and your son just stared at Hongjoong. He leaned into your ear and asked you who he was.

You smiled at him. "Oh him? He's just an old friend."

Your son looked back at Hongjoong, somewhat afraid of him. But Hongjoong just gave him the warmest smile he could.

"Hey there little buddy. You don't have to be scared of me."

Hongjoong knew it would take time, but he also knew that in the end, he'd be part of your life and of your son's.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪 ﾟ･:*✿

You don't know whether you were grateful or you regretted ever accepting to work at the bar Seonghwa owned. You couldn't complain about the pay, it was more than good and although you knew Seonghwa was sketchy af, you never felt unsafe as he always made sure you were protected and no one harassed you.

However you knew Seonghwa had the hots for you, everyone knew it actually. At first, they thought he just wanted to get in your pants, that's what he usually did with any hot female that worked for him. But time passed and everyone now knew that he was head over heels for you. Boy was like a love sick puppy for you. It was quite entertaining to watch actually.

No one resented you for it or even tried to bother you. You were constantly turning him down and keeping a strictly professional relationship with your boss. If he offered you any gifts, you rejected them. If he offered the schedule everyone fought for, you turned it down and accepted the shittiest shift. Seonghwa never gave up though. He wanted you and he'd get you no matter what.

"You've gone soft." His best friend, Hongjoong told him one day.

"No I haven't." Seonghwa refuted that statement.

Right then, the phone rang. Hongjoong picked it up.

"Hello? Oh hi...... Oh really? Ok. I'll let him know. Don't worry. Hope you feel better. Bye."

Hongjoong hung up and continued his task of polishing his gun.

"Well?" Seonghwa asked rather annoyed.

"Oh it's nothing. Just Y/N calling in sick. She won't be coming." Hongjoong stated as if it was the most normal of in the world.

Seonghwa, however, was panicking.

"Y/N?! Sick?! What do you mean sick?! She's never sick! She never calls in! What if something happened to her?! I need to see her!"

Grabbing his jacket, he ran out the room, leaving Hongjoong dumbfounded.

"Ok. But you're not soft huh?"

Seonghwa sped over to your house, bag full of medicines and other things he deemed necessary in his arms. He frantically knocked on what he hoped really was your door, he had never been to your house.

"What?!" You shouted when you swung the door open.

"I came cause Hongjoong said- Wait! You look fine." Seonghwa noticed you didn't look unwell as he scanned your body.

"If this is another stupid attempt to hit on me, I will slam my door on your hand. I don't care if one of your men end up cutting off one of my fingers." You warned him.

"You said you were sick!" Seonghwa exclaimed.

"No. I called in a sick leave because-"

You were interrupted by a soft 'Mommy' from behind you. You turned to see your 2 year old daughter standing there, blanket wrapped around her tiny and frail body.

"Sweetie. I told you not to get out of bed. Your cold will get worse."

You completely forgot about Seonghwa and proceeded to attend your daughter, who was the reason why you called in sick. Seonghwa was shocked at finding out you had a kid. But it wasn't a bad surprise. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He didn't even realize that he ended up walking into your apartment and watched as you tucked your daughter in the couch, helping her blow her nose.

If people thought he was whipped before, now he was fucking wrapped around your finger. He adored kids, and this revelation just made you even more perfect in his eyes. Now he was more than determined to make you his.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

With Yunho, you actually didn't take long to start dating. He was so caring and attentive to you. You remember when you told him on a date that you had a child. You felt it was necessary to let him know before your relationship got more serious.

"A kid?" He repeated.

"Yes..... I have a son..." Your voice trailed off.

Your head already started imagining the worst and most common scenario: he'd be all sweet but say he's not ready for that responsibility and dump you like all the others. It happened every single time. It didn't turn out to be the case though.

"Really? How old is he? Do you have a picture? When can I meet him? Does he know about me?"

Yunho was ecstatic to find this out and he was very interested in anything that had to do with you. Besides........ you weren't the only one keeping secrets. He hadn't exactly told you what his job really was. Just like you, he was afraid of you leaving him when you found out his connections to the criminal world. Which is why he kept it hidden for a long time.

But he did tell you one day. He came clean about it.

"I know I should have told you earlier, especially now that I'm a part of your and your son's life.... but I was scared...... I love you but I understand if you'd rather not see me anymore."

Maybe you were crazy, maybe you were too much in love, but you assured him you wouldn't leave him. You only voiced concern about your son's safety. You didn't want anything to happen to him.

"I swear on my life, nothing will ever happen to him or to you. I promise to keep you both safe."

It was a promise he always kept. He became a constant in your life, and he was always making sure to spend time with your son, spoiling him to no end. You remember when he threw a birthday party for him at his mansion. It was small and not a lot of people could come because he couldn't risk having strangers over, but you all had a great time.

That's where you met his other friends, who were very curious to meet the woman and the kid who made Yunho into a hyperactive puppy.

"I'm serious, I've never in my life seen him be like this." Mingi pointed out as they watched Yunho play with your son.

"Really? Since I met him, he's always been like that." You were surprised to find out from his friends what he used to be like.

"Then you must really be a special lady. Congratulations. You turned a criminal into a total dad."

You blushed at Seonghwa's comment.

"He's not a dad...." You cleared your throat.

Seonghwa turned to you and smirked.

"Not yet.....but trust me. Very soon it might be official."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

Yeosang and you didn't have the greatest of start in the relationship. Both of your parents were mafia bosses and so you were both forced into a contractual marriage that neither of you wanted.

"Look. How about we just carry on our lives as if nothing happened?" You suggested.

"Agreed." Yeosang nodded.

Years passed and eventually Yeosang took over the family business, working alongside your brother Wooyoung, who took over for your father. Because Yeosang spent so much time with your brother, you ended up spending so much time togethers.

Soon you both stopped avoiding each other company and actually became close friends. Or you thought you would just be friends, until one day Yeosang couldn't help himself and just kissed you.

"What was that for?" You try not to look too happy about it though.

"What? Is it a crime for me to kiss my wife?" He winked at you.

Gradually, you fell in love and completely forgot that this was a contractual marriage. It became a real marriage for you both. Yeosang doted on you and was such a devoted husband. And he was so ecstatic when he found himself you were pregnant with your first child. He immediately made preparations and began decorating one of the rooms, choosing gender neutral colors like green and yellow.

He was over the moon when you gave birth. He cried so much when he held your precious bundle of joy in his arms for the first time. He was so overwhelmed with emotions. Leaning down, he kisses your forehead tenderly. He was so grateful to have you and your daughter.

You two became his whole world, and his friends teased him to no end about it. After all, how did the cold mafia Prince turned into such a warm family man?

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷 ﾟ･:*✿

Your relationship with San was very blissful and passionate. It definitely started with a lot of passion. You two met at a club and randomly hooked up. You thought he'd be just a one night stand, not that you cared. You weren't particularly looking for a relationship. But he was hooked on you and so he sought you out, properly asking you out on a date.

You quickly found out that he wasn't just the kinky lover in the sheets. He was a total cutie and a cuddle bug. That ended up sealing the deal for you and you completely fell in love with him.

Things definitely moved fast in the relationship. 4 months in and he asked you to move in with him. You thought it was strange, but were so in love with him that you agreed. You didn't know it was because he wanted to make sure you were safe in case any rivals tried to hurt you. And he made sure not to let you find out what and who he really was.

After a year, you two welcomed a baby boy into your lives. You spent the first months like all new parents: full of happiness and joy over your new baby. San was already making plans for his boy, imagining him taking taekwondo just like he did and excelling at all things that had physical involvement. Everything seemed to be going fine......

Until one day you found out who he really was. Your heart shattered at this new piece of information.

Had he lied to me? Is all of this a lie?

One thing was for sure, you panicked when you thought about your son and his safety. Without thinking, you began packing a suitcase, taking only the necessary things for him and you. You didn't know where you'd go, but your mind told you to leave.

"Baby? What-what are you doing?"

You turned to see San standing at the door, confused as to why you were packing.

"I know. I know everything."

His heart dropped at your words. So you finally found out. It clicked to him what you were up to.

"And so you're leaving me?" He couldn't believe it.

"I have to! How could I stay with you knowing our son could be in danger because of you?!"

San marched up to you and pulled you against him, holding onto you for dear life.

"Baby please listen to me! I lied to you, I know and I'm sorry! But I honestly do love you, I love you and our son so much, you two are my everything! You can't leave me! Please don't walk away from me and don't take him away from me! I'm sorry! But I promise I'll take care of you both."

He sanked down to his knees and held you by your waist, his tears staining your shirt. When it came to you and your son, he was no longer the strong confident mafia boss. You were his ultimate weakness.

"Please don't go..... please say you still love me...."

Your heart clenched. Even though finding this out tore you apart, you still loved him. You'd never stop loving him.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲 ﾟ･:*✿

At the beginning, you didn't want to be with him. You knew who he was and what he was capable of. You were practically forced to date him, scared shitless thinking about what he'd do to you if you refused him. He really did try to show you that he wasn't the ruthless and violent mafia boss the media played him out to be.

"Why do you look so uncomfortable? Don't you like the food?" He asked you.

"The food is great, it's just you know, not every girl wants to have a dozen men in suits standing around with guns in their pockets while on a first date." There was a hint of bitterness and sarcasm in your tone.

Mingi pouted. "It's for protection purposes."

If someone had told you the most feared mafia boss in all of Seoul was actually a clumsy, soft baby, you would never have believed them. But indeed, that's the side of Mingi you ended up uncovering. Sure it still terrified you when his rage was released, but never was it directed to you.

Finally after years of asking and asking, you accepted his marriage proposal and he was the happiest man alive. No happiness could compare. That's what he thought until the day you gifted him with a precious angel. She instantly became daddy's girl and nothing could change that. It was quite funny actually.

Like one time when he was having a meeting with his other mafia friends. Things got very heated and Mingi was about to blow up. Until a tiny head peeked in.

"Daddy!" Your daughter ran over to him, while you failed to try and catch her.

Mingi completely forgot what they were talking about and he picked her up.

"Hi princess! How are you? Did you miss your daddy?" He cooed at her.

Snickers were heard from his friends.

"Who would have thought?" "The Song Mingi has been tamed" "And by a child nonetheless"

Mingi threw a glare over at his friends.

"I can still order your heads on a platter you know." He threatened them.

"Mingi." You warned him, gesturing to your daughter.

"Sorry." He mouthed, remembering not to say such things in front of your daughter.

That's when his friends totally lost it.

"I told you San! Y/N is the one who really wears the pants in the relationship."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰ﾟ･:*✿

Were you furious that your father practically sold you into a marriage with his mafia friend's son? Yes. Was Wooyoung pissed off at having a wife thrown at him? Nope, not at all. He fell in love with you at first sight.

"Hi! I'm Jung Wooyoung, your soon to be husband and I can tell we're going to be really happy together!" He was practically beaming with joy.

"Hi, I'm L/N Y/N, the girl that's going to be caged to you for life......or death. Whichever comes first." You responded.

Wooyoung actually laughed at that, but you were serious. What if one day his mafia ass gets tired of you and he just decides to put a bullet in your head? You secretly hoped he did that before you were bound to him for life.

But 5 years later and you're still married. He's just as much in love with you as the first day he met you. You learned to love him, or as you often said to tease him: you learned to put up with him.

"Deny it all you want, but I know you love me just as much as I love you."

When he found out you were pregnant, he became even more clingy with you. Always making sure you were ok, going to everyone of the doctor's appointments, and constantly talking to your growing baby bump. The baby wasn't due for another 4 months and he was already wrapped around their finger.

"I can eat by myself Wooyoung." You reminded him as you tried to take the bowl from him.

"Let me baby you, ok!? I want my queen to be treated like one and I want to make sure my little princess will be ok." He stated.

You chuckled at how he kept insisting it was a girl.

"What if it turns out to be a boy?" You cocked your head to the side.

"It's a girl! She will be a precious bundle of pink glittery joy that I will love and cherish for as long as I live!" He really wanted a girl.

You rolled your eyes every time and you were desperately hoping that the ultrasound you were scheduled to get would reveal it was a boy. You really wanted to wipe the grin off his face. That and you wanted a mommy's boy yourself.

"So tell us doctor. It's definitely a girl right?" Wooyoung asked as he held your hand tightly.

"Actually......you're carrying a very healthy baby boy. Congratulations."

Wooyoung's hand dropped yours and he stood there stunned. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. For goodness sakes, he had already had the nursery painted pink.

"Ok, now that you've been proven wrong, hand me that catalog. I'm deciding how we're decorating my son's nursery." You told him when you got back home.

"Uh.... it's our son! If I remember correctly, it takes 2 to make a baby. And please no sport related decorations! Get something more original! Ooh! I saw some really cute marine animals design that..."

You just smirked at him as he turned the pages of the magazine. He was still whipped.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

When you applied for the secretary job, you didn't think anything was sketchy about it. But you were wrong and instantly you were dragged into Jongho's mafia world. And you knew that now there was no way out. You knew too much and the only way you would ever walk out of there would be in a coffin.

That's what you thought, but honestly, Jongho liked you so much that if you wanted to, he'd dismiss you if you wanted it. But he didn't want you to go. He was too hooked on you to let you go. He liked how different you were from other women. You were so mature, and he liked your 'I don't give a fuck' attitude you exuded at times. He also loved to play around with you, even if he was the one doing most of the pulling while you were doing a lot of pushing.

"Sooner or later you will be mine doll." He often told you.

"Go find some other girl to play around with Jongho. I'm a little too old to be anyone's toy." You always responded with things that if it were anyone else, it'd get their head blown off.

You tried to keep your personal life as secret as possible from him. Your deepest fear was of Jongho finding out about your daughter, your only joy in life. You were afraid he'd use her against you........... that's what you tried to tell yourself. But really, you were afraid that if he found out, he'd lose interest in you. You couldn't deny he was attractive. But what kind of man would involve himself with a woman that already had a kid? Especially someone as young and powerful like Jongho?

But one day, you had no choice but to bring her along to work with you, since no babysitter was available. You thought you'd be all right. Jongho wasn't supposed to be there and you only had to pick up some papers. Luck wasn't on your side that day though. While you were rummaging around your desk, the devil himself walked into the office.

"Ah Y/N. Good thing I caught you. I need you to see if I got- who and what is that?"

He immediately pointed at your daughter, who was currently holding onto your leg, her other hand holding her bunny plushie. The color drained from your face, but you took a deep breath and gathered your courage.

"Jongho, this is my daughter, [insert name here]. Sweetheart, this is Jongho. He's the man I work for." You smiled down at her.

You didn't even want to look back at Jongho, afraid to see his expression. You were startled though when he came closer to you and bent down so he was eye level with your daughter.

"Hi there princess. What you got there? Do you like bunnies?"

Your daughter took an instant liking to him as she began explaining in her 2 year old language who her plushie was. And Jongho only played along, completely enchanted by such a cute and innocent baby.

"Ok that's enough sweetheart. I'm sure Jongho has some other things to attend to and we have to go."

Picking her up, you bid goodbye to Jongho, who held the door open for you. He grabbed your free arm though and whispered in your ear before you left:

"If you think this changes anything doll, you're completely wrong. I still want you and I still stand my ground that you'll be mine......."

He pulled back and smiled at you.

"Your daughter is very charming as well. You should bring her over more often."

He winked at you as you made your way out.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[andreafmn]

I’m Not Afraid - Chapter 2

Word Count: 4,585

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 2/?

A/N:  SOFT DEREK, SOFT DEREK!!!!! If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 2

5:00 am my phone read. 

It was usual for my brain to be awake at this hour. Since before I can remember it was part of the schedule I followed, everywhere I went. It was a small thing, but the sense of normalcy was a comforting friend. It made sense to follow a routine I could have anywhere. I was out of bed and into workout clothes, ready for a quick jog around the woods. 

I started off with a slow and comfortable trot before speeding up once I reached the tree-filled terrain. The smell of wet soil, the sound of birds chirping and leaves rustling, the crunching of leaves under my feet was oddly comforting. There was a strange pull that came from the heart of Beacon Hills. I had lived in many places in my short lifetime but this place was different, the atmosphere was different, the people were different. One of those people was Derek Hale, the mysterious, broody, sarcastic man that had bumped his way in. 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Why are you stopping?" He asked, a small chuckle escaping his mouth. 

"How did you get here? Where the hell did you come from?"

"You're not the only person who jogs in this town and this happens to be the trail I take. You know, you should work out on a trail that is closer to your house. Makes it easier to actually go back."

I looked around. Once again, I had trailed off and didn't know where I was. "Lucky for you, I have a great memory. We can finish off running and I'll instruct you back to your house."

"You know you sound like a stalker." We started to jog once again.

"How so?" 

"Well, you've only been there like two or three times and you already know the way back. Creepy!"

"Oh, come on, it means that I have a very sharp memory. Unlike you who can't seem to remember what house you live in."

"Touché."

The con and occasionally laughing at something. It felt good talking to him, almost natural. There was a supernatural attraction that I felt when I was near him, an unusual need for his closeness. Our relationship came easy, as the cliché would have it, it felt like I had known him all my life. 

We ran for about an hour and a half before we turned back. "I think it's time we went back. You have school in an hour."

"Whoa, take the stalking down a notch."

"Oh, come on, I went to that school before you, I think I know the schedule."

"Alright, grandpa. Let's head back. It's time for your breakfast smoothie and then some bingo."

"Very funny." He ruffled my hair whilst fake laughing.

"I try." We ran and ran until I came into view of the curb that led to the house. "Well, this is my exit. Would it be too much to ask for you to take me to school?"

"Not a problem. Meet you back here at 7:45?"

"That would be perfect." He kissed my cheek and left to run to where I believe was his house. My face turned red, and I ducked inside.

"Mom? Dad?" I entered the kitchen and noticed a note over a covered plate. "Left for work early. Eat your food and go to school." I read out loud.

I took my time getting ready for school. My bag was already packed, as was my lunch. A long shower and a slow breakfast were in store as I awaited Derek's black Camaro to roll into my driveway. 

"Thanks so much for the lift. I packed you some breakfast." 

"No problem and thank you." He smiled. "You know, maybe after school, I can finally give you a tour around town. So you can familiarize yourself."

"That would be wonderful." I checked my schedule. "Actually, you can pick me up an hour before school ends. I have study hall at that hour, and no one would care if I left."

"I think I can make that arrangement." He looked at me showing a perfect set of white teeth and a smile that would make anyone melt. "But wouldn't your parents know that you left school? I mean, you won't be there when they go pick you up."

"I'll just tell them Allison gave me a ride or walked home," I said thinking of more excuses I could tell my parents. Distracted by my thoughts, my hand started reaching out to the powered-off radio and I didn't notice that so did Derek's. A sharp current went up my arm as our hands make contact. We both quickly pulled away and I could feel the blood rushing to my face turning it a deep shade of red.

"Sorry, I shouldn't impose. It's your car." I spoke up, quick to start picking at the skin around my fingernails to busy my hands. Derek perceived the nervous nature of my actions and stopped my fussing by putting one of his hands over mine. 

"Don't worry it's fine. Just put the radio on whatever station you like." He smiled reassuringly and I reached to the radio and just turned it on, leaving it in the last station it had been on.

"Ugh, I absolutely dread going to school. Most of it I'm gonna forget either way."

"I'd tell you to ditch but that would be shame on me, so I won't. But think about it, this day you'll only get 7 hours of school and then you can hang out with me. Best present ever."

"Yeah, don't think so highly of yourself. Maybe I'll just wander around town until I find my way home."

"Very funny." He stopped at the drop-off zone. "This is your stop."

"Thanks again for the ride, awfully kind actions from such a sour wolf" I laughed at his scowl. "I'll see you in the afternoon."

"Looking forward to it." I exited the car and he waited till I was on the sidewalk to speed off.

"Was that Derek Hale that just dropped you off?" I turned around and was met face-to-face with Scott.

"Yeah. What's the problem?" Not that it will matter.

"You shouldn't trust him, he's bad news."

"Honestly, Scott, I understand your good intentions, but I'll sort out the wrong kind on my own terms." He looked taken aback at my response, probably thinking I would not talk back.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, but he is not a person that anyone should be with." With that, he left with worry evident on his face.

I understood that he was looking out for my "well-being”, but he didn't know me and I'm pretty sure he didn't know Derek either. Maybe that's what Derek meant when I met him. Everyone thinks he is a bad person, but he hasn't done anything wrong in my eyes.

I walked over to my locker and started exchanging my books. Closely next to me I could hear Scott talking to Allison about me and Derek, and my name should be out of his mouth. Once I finished with my locker, I slammed the door and they both stopped talking, noting my close presence. I walked past them feeling their worried stares burning my back. This was going to be a hell of a year. The only thing that could get me through it was the acquaintance relationship I have with Isaac. I did text him a bit last night but mostly helping him with homework. Lord knows he needs all the help he can get.  

We all stood around in gym class as Stiles and Erica climbed the rock wall. Everyone else had gone including Scott who mastered a great fall. Stiles appeared to have fun, but Erica would let out sounds of discomfort and shortness of breath as she climbed. At a point, she stopped. 

"Erica, are you dizzy?" Coach said. "Is it vertigo?" 

"Vertigo is the dysfunction of the vesicular system of the inner ear" Lydia stated in a mocking tone. "She's just freaking out." 

"Erica!" Coach screamed.

"coach, maybe it’s not safe. you know she's epileptic." Allison stated. How does no one care? 

"Wh-why does no one tell me this?!" Coach Finstock questioned annoyed. "Erica, just fall back, there's a mat that will catch you." 

She slowly let go of the wall and made her descent. No one seemed to care that the poor girl was shaken to the core; they all laughed.

When class was over everyone headed to their respective locker rooms to change. Something inside me kept pulling me back to the gym, so I walked back as I put on my shirt. As I opened the doors, I saw Erica fall from the wall and luckily into Scott's arms. He slowly put her on the floor as the class ran in behind us. 

"Put her on her side," I stated. 

"How did you know?" Allison whispered to Scott.

"I just felt it." He whispered back. 

After Erica had calmed, the coach called an ambulance to take her to be checked at the hospital and the day went by normally. I was currently in my "last" period. Tapping my nails in a rhythmic pattern waiting for the stupid bell to ring. Only 5 more minutes and I would be out of here. This was the first time I had done something like this. I always stick by the rules and make sure to follow all of them. My heart was racing, and my palms were sweating. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Cue the bell. I grabbed all my things and stuffed them in my bag. I used to my advantage the fact that everyone was piled in the hallway and headed outside. Waiting for me was Derek in his black Camaro. Suddenly my heart steadied its pace and I felt relaxed.

"Hey there, rebel." He smirked at me as I entered the car and buckled my seatbelt.

"Don't make small talk. Just go." I said whilst trying to hide by burrowing in the seat. If I could I would have jumped into the trunk to avoid any hidden stares from authority figures.

"Don't tell me you've never done this before." I shook my head no and felt my face growing warmer by the second. "Aw, you're so innocent. For a big mouth that is." I slapped his arm as hard as I could.

"Don't be rude." I crossed my arms, slouched down, and pouted. He looked over at me and laughed. That made me slouch farther down.

"Oh, come on. Don't get mad." He ruffled my hair and laughed once again when I swatted his hand away. "Yeesh, feisty."

"So, where's our first pit stop?" I asked whilst looking out the window not wanting to look at his face.

"A small diner I know. Wouldn't want you to starve." He smirked. "Might make you angrier."

"I am not angry, just annoyed."

"Got some feelings hurt?" He said laughing.

"Derek, don't be rude. You will regret it."

"Oh, what could you do?"

"Is that a challenge?" He didn't answer, just laughed. I rolled down the window and stuck my head out. "HELP!! This man is kidnapping me!! HELP!! Bloody he...!" 

My sentence was cut short by Derek's hand pulling me down by my jacket and onto the seat again.

"Why did you do that?" I asked innocently. I had caused the faces of a few people on the street to look at the car in horror.

"You know why! That was totally uncalled for."

"I told you that being rude was something you would regret. I'm not one to say this a lot but, I told you so." 

He tried his best to keep a tight scowl on his face but in a matter of seconds, we were laughing at my past actions.

"Whatever, we're here." He turned off the car and went to the passenger side to open the door for me. 

"Why thank you," I said and took his extended hand to pull my weight up. 

"No problem." I smiled at his goofy courtesy but as we walked inside the establishment I could feel my heart beating faster by the second. "Table for two." Derek pointed at a booth made for two people exactly. Once we had sat down a lady maybe in her late thirties approached us to take our order.

"What do you want to order today, darlings?" She gave us a warm smile as she waited for our response.

"I'll have the bacon cheeseburger with some onion rings, a stack of pancakes, and some chicken fillets, a Diet Coke, and afterward some pie, please."

"Would you like the kitchen sink with that?" I said in shock. "I think I'll just get the, ummmm, bacon cheeseburger also with some onion rings and an iced tea. Maybe add some pie afterward too."

The lady laughed a bit, nodded, and smiled at us as she turned to the kitchen to put out our order. 

"So, someone's a bit hungry. Huh, sour wolf?" I chuckled.

"Why do you call me that?" He said somewhat annoyed.

"I don't know. It just fits you."

"How?"

"Cause you're very sour and you kind of look like a wolf. Hairy face and crazy hair. I don't know how to explain it. It's just a nickname, though. If it makes you mad I can just call you something else."

"I'm not mad. Just wondering." He slouched on the seat looking less tense. "How is it that I'm usually so bad with meeting people yet with you, I just clicked?"

"I don't know. I'm just special that way."

"Very funny."

"I know! I could take up a career in comedy." He chuckled as he threw a sugar packet at me. "So, since we are getting to know each other we should know basic things about one another. Let me start. What's your favorite color?"

"Maybe black or blue. What about you?"

"Totally red and black." The waitress came with our drinks. I took a sip of my iced tea and continued with the questions. "Favorite place to be?"

"That house in the woods where we met." I gave him a weird look.

"Why there? It barely stands with a foundation. What could possibly be there?"

"It's the house I used to live in before it burnt down. My family was in there." I choked on my drink when he said this.

"Oh my gosh, Derek. I'm so sorry I brought it up. We can drop the topic."

"Don't worry about it. It happened such a long time ago it's sometimes relieving talking about it." After there was an awkward silence, so Derek cleared his throat and asked a question. "Um, and what's your favorite place to be?"

"I'm not sure. Usually, I like places more because of the people I'm with. But if I had to choose probably the woods, it's the calmest place I know. The only place where you can actually be free."

"Wow, Ms. Argent. So poetic. It touched me." He pointed at his heart. "Right here."

"Very funny, now, favorite sport?" And the game went on even when our food served. Whilst eating we kept asking each other questions and getting to know each other profoundly. This has been the first time I had ever opened up to someone. It felt strange. Letting someone know small details about yourself. Making yourself vulnerable to them. Showing them how they could break you. But this was different. I felt like I was just becoming closer to him.

"We should do that someday. I mean the thought of just leaving for a whole day, not knowing where you are going, just finding an adventure."

"Definitely. You decide when the first time." I smiled at him.

"That's a deal." He looked down at his watch. "I think it's time I take you home. Don't want your parents to worry."

"Alright. Let's go." I grabbed my bag and was about to pay my part of the check, but he wouldn't let me. He grabbed the money I left and paid completely. "I don't understand the need of being such a gentleman if this wasn't a date. Just two people hanging out."

"So, this wasn't a date?"

"You thought it was?" I thought about it. "What do you classify a date per se?"

"An outing in which two people go out and get to know each other a little bit more." What he said made sense. It had never dawned on me that this could have been anything other than just a casual outing, but not being too well versed in normal social encounters, let alone dating encounters. 

"Alright, you win. I have officially gone on my first date."

"No way. This could not have been your first date." When he saw the serious look on my face, he stopped chuckling. "I'm so sorry you had to have given you such a crappy first date. I promise I'll make up for it one day."

"Deal." We even shook on it. "Now let's get going before my parents know I'm late."

During the drive back, he pointed out different key places I should know when going around Beacon Hills as well as easier routes to these places. Although I was heavily grateful for all the useful tips, my brain could hardly remember the first route he showed me. 

When we got to my house, I noticed that my father's car was not in there. I guess they haven't arrived yet. I said goodbye to Derek and entered the house, thanking him for a lovely afternoon. I changed into workout attire and, deciding to stay home, went to the basement and started working out. After half an hour of running and half an hour of physical training, I decided it was enough and went to take a shower. I noticed that my parents weren't home yet.

"I wonder what's holding them back?" After my shower, I continued my current read of Pride and Prejudice. But something was bothering me, a thought that wouldn't leave my head.

I'm leaving once the year is over. Getting close to Derek will fuck me up once I leave. I've never had to say goodbye to anyone. I can't start now. I'll need to start avoiding him. Don't know how, but I must try.

I went downstairs to get a glass of water when I heard a knock on the door. It was Uncle Chris.

"Hey, Uncle Chris. What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for your father. Is he here?"

"No, I haven't seen him. I got here and neither mom nor dad was here. Is something wrong?"

"No. Just couldn't reach his cell. I'm sure he's fine. Have a good night, sweetheart." He kissed my forehead and left. I started to worry. What if something had happened?

So, I decided to call him. Fortunately, he picked up.

"Dad, where are you?"

"Oh, honey, I forgot to tell you. Your mom and I will be out for the rest of the week. We left some money on the first drawer of the right side of the kitchen island and if you want you can stay with your uncle."

"But Uncle Chris came by and he didn't know where you were. Does he know you left?"

"Oh, I forgot to call him. I'll do that right now. Goodnight, munchkin, go to sleep."

"Goodnight, dad. Love you."

"Love you too." I hung up the phone and went upstairs completely forgetting about the glass of water I went to drink.

My phone buzzed and I looked at the caller ID signaling that Isaac was calling.

"Hey, Isaac."

"Hey, (Y/N). Um, do you think you can pick me up?" Isaac said in between short pants.

"Sure, where are you?" I asked. He told me where he was, and I took the keys to my mother's car to look for Isaac. He looked scared and frantic when I neared the spot, he told me about. His physique also looked different. Usually, he would walk cowering but now he stood tall and seemed a bit more buff. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just, um, do you think I could stay with you tonight?"

"I guess." I started driving to my house. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, totally. Just tired." I took the hint. He didn't want to talk, and I wasn't going to press on.

At my house, I arranged the guest room and got him spare clothes to change into. He thanked me and left for the bathroom. Something was wrong. But what?

***

Three days had passed.

Three days that I had stayed in my house for my daily workout.

Three days that my phone had been buzzing with messages from Derek asking where I was.

Because three nights before I had decided to avoid Derek at all costs.

The only way to leave it all behind is if you don't associate yourself with anyone. That way you won't feel any remorse or pain once you disappear. One time when I left was when I was approximately six or seven years old, and I had to say goodbye to Allison since we were sharing a room at that time. The second time was when I had to leave Josie. After that, I started familiarizing myself with the feeling of loneliness.  It wasn't that bad once you remembered the fact that you would always see your parents when you got home, and everything would be better. Although, these days I had housed Isaac in my house, rare was the occasion that we interacted other than doing homework. Isaac would come home late in the night and quickly went to sleep. But, he stayed in my spare room for two nights and told me he had found a place to stay. He left thanking me for my hospitality.

When I finished my workout, I ran upstairs and took a shower. I changed from my stinky workout clothes to a plain white shirt and black jeans, obviously paired with my leather jacket. Once dressed I went downstairs and grabbed some cash to buy myself a muffin and a big coffee. Finally, I found the keys to my beautiful matte black Harley Fat Bob. My father had gotten me this motorcycle about two years back when he noticed I just kept crashing cars. The only thing I never crashed was his motorcycle and because he was worried I would, he bought me my own. I tend to wreck a lot of stuff. It's not intentional, I'm just clumsy at times.

I opened the door to the garage and noticed it sitting in a corner covered by a blanket. Once I took it off, I smiled. I passed my hand over the beautiful color, the smooth surface, the cold metal. It all felt familiar. A part of me. I grabbed my helmet and got on it. Once I sat my body felt relaxed, at ease. A spark of adrenaline was shot through my body when the engine came to life.

I backed up from the garage and went to the local café store. While waiting to pick up my order I noticed Derek walking in with his jogging clothes on. He still hasn't noticed me, too busy looking at the menu. When my name was called, he looked at me and called my name, but I ran out of the café with my order ignoring him.

When I got to the school everyone was staring at me. The new chick was now badass. I walked in with my backpack slung over my shoulder easing towards my locker.

"Hey there, gorgeous." I closed the locker door to see Jackson standing next to me. I rolled my eyes.

"Hi, Jackson. What do you want?"

"I was just wondering when you were free."

"Oh, well from tomorrow to never gonna happen. Get down from the cloud, buddy."

"Oh, come on, we both know you want some of this." He motioned over his body.

"Get over yourself." I scoffed.

"Babe, it doesn't hurt to try."

"I believe she's not interested, Jackson." A strawberry blonde girl appeared. Her confidence struck me like lightning, a very apparent aura of dominance radiating from within her.

"Why don't you mind your own business, Lydia. I'm talking to her, not you. You've already ruined everything else."

"Well, I think she has no business with you so why don't you scram?" With a huff and a puff, Jackson finally gave in and I turned to greet my hero, who was surprisingly accompanied by Allison.

"Thank you, so much. He wouldn't take no for an answer."

"No problem. I'm Lydia, but you knew that."

"(Y/N). Argent." She motioned between Allison and me. "Cousins."

"Pleasure." Then the bell rang. "Guess I have a new best friend, (Y/N)." You guessed wrong.

I entered Mr. Harris' classroom and sat down next to Isaac and as usual Mr. Chatty Pants tried to hold a conversation from the table behind us. Seriously, how much can someone talk? I took out my notebook and started writing down everything the teacher was saying is the homework on the board. Stiles had finally gotten the hint and didn't talk to me the whole class. That was a relief. Maybe it was due to the fact he was too focused on the strawberry blonde who had saved my ass from Jackson.

The day went on quite smoothly except at lunch. It wasn't the same Erica that had fallen from the rock-climbing wall. She completely changed; a more confident walk, she was wearing makeup and tight-fitted clothing, and her hair was perfectly styled. She left the lunchroom after taking a bite off an apple seductively and Scott and Stiles followed, as did I. Curiosity had taken the best of me as to this overnight transformation.

She opened the front doors to the school and there he was. Derek Hale in his black Camaro with the biggest smirk on his face staring at Scott. When he directed his sight to me his smirk kind of fell but was brought up quickly. During that Erica had gotten inside the car and they left, together. I don't know why I was jealous because he meant nothing to me, but it broke my heart. I got nervous. I think Scott noticed because he looked at me worried.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" I nodded rapidly and out of breath. I had no idea what was happening.

"I think you're having a panic attack." Stiles pointed out handing me an inhaler.

"I used to have panic attacks, too." I inhaled a pump and my breathing seemed to normalize. "You okay now?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I handed him the inhaler.

"No, keep it. I don't need it anymore." I said a low thanks and walked back to school to head to my next class.

I felt extremely weird the rest of the day. Why did I feel that way when I saw Erica and Derek together? It wasn't like anything was going on between us. Also, he's far too old for me. Or maybe I'm too young. I don't know. But I couldn't shake off that sour taste of jealousy that the image of them left.

I knew I wanted to stay as far away as I could from hin but at this moment there was nothing more that I wanted than to be close to him.

Tag: @lokisgoddesofpower

<- Previous

A/N: Please check out my last post about the fandoms I’ll be writing for. 

[suna-reversed]

“Go ahead and cry little girl”

College!AU Suna Rintarou x F!reader 

Suna Rinatarou: popular; confident; handsome; occasional chainsmoker. 

Little does everyone know, that the ever so nonchalant middle blocker has always thought of himself as the antagonist of his life. 

Trouble ensues when he finds himself not able to get the girl in the crimson dress off of his mind. But little does he know of the scarlett wounds she hides behind her smile. 

———

-based off “daddy issues” by the neighbourhood

warnings/tags- tw language, mentions of drugs/smoking/alcohol, fluff if you squint really hard

“It’s crazy what you’d do for a friend” (PART 1)

“Take you like a drug

Taste you on my tongue”

The first time you met Suna Rintarou was at some random frat party your friend had dragged you to after you had been cheated on by your boyfriend of 2 years. 

In all fairness, you saw it coming from a mile away. But then why did you stick around? Maybe it was because you knew you couldn’t do better? Maybe you deserved it? Maybe you were not enough for him in the first place?

All those thoughts were thrown out the window as your head got struck with a rock heavy wave of dizziness. Everything around seemed to be in hues of lilac and lavender as you threw back your head laughing at the incoherent mumbles of the people around you. They most definitely were not incoherent. One moment you were laughing, the next you were melding your lips against the brunette next to you. 

His lips somehow felt sickening but addictive at the same time. You couldn’t tell if your high was from the smoke he inhaled and released down your throat each time he pulled his lips away from yours, or if it was simply your wanton need for the strawberry-like taste of his lips. You felt him mumble against your lips, something about you looking like a goddess in the crimson dress you wore. In that moment, you didn’t care. As long as you stayed up high in the clouds with his tongue exploring your mouth and far away from the reality of everything, you were content.

—————

‘Ask me what I'm thinking about 

I'll tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about’

“Hey, what you reading there crimson?” 

You snapped your head up at the unknown voice, your eyes locking onto a pair of catlike brown eyes. You narrowed your eyes at the stranger. That seemed to force a chuckle out of him. 

“Don't remember me do you?”

A sudden burst of memories seemed to slam right into your mind as you recognised that all too familiar smirk from two nights ago. Your eyes widened as your mouth formed an “O” shape, and to further your embarrassment, that just made the boy burst into a bout of laughter. 

“Well, at least answer my question, since I assume that we’ve already gotten quite a bit familiar with each other.” He said while pulling a library chair out from across you and plopping down in it with a smirk that made your knees wobble a little. 

Still too shaken up, it took you a moment to realise what he had asked in the first place. Lifting the book in your hands a little, you mumbled out the name of the manga you were reading. 

“Ah, that’s a good one but the main character gets a little too cocky by the middle, don’t you think?” 

Quickly overcoming your surprise of him actually having read it, your reply comes out before you even realise it, 

“ Oh he absolutely does, but that’s the whole point of it isn’t it?” 

He tilts his head, signalling for you to continue, 

“Well, you see, that’s the whole trope- the main character has flaws and always sees himself as the bad guy, but he realises just how much of an unreliable narrator he himself was when the female lead ends up accepting him and loving him for who he is anyways.”

“But why would she still accept him after all the pain and hurt he caused?”  

“I don’t know...maybe she thought she deserved it.” 

His eyes narrowed into slits as he stared at you with a gaze sharp enough to cut through diamond. 

Just then, his phone notification rang, and he let out a sigh before getting up. “I hope to see you around crimson”

You scrunch your nose up at the strange nickname but he simply laughs as he ruffles your hair and walks away. 

-----------------end of part 1

no this is totally not me projecting my issues onto a fic

-----------------

PART 2 PREVIEW- 

“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?”

The constant buzzing of your phone wakes you up. Checking the time on the clock next to your bed, you notice that it’s 2:37 am. Your phone buzzes again and you groan.  

“someone better be fucking dying” you murmur to yourself sleepily. Ready to use the person on the other side as a punching bag, you answer the call without even checking who the caller is. 

“I’m outside, can you please open the door crimson?” 

It takes you less than a second to realise who that husky voice belongs to. Before you know it, your feet are carrying you to the door as you open it slightly, half mad- half worried about the boy standing in front of you with a bleeding cut across his cheek. His eyes seem to droop more than usual but his head perks up as he sees you and that all too familiar, but still intoxicating grin graces his features as he takes a step forward towards you, crashing his lips into yours.

[purplebass]

#2 Celbratory Fic! And it's another one with Jesse and his uncles + cousins. This time, Jesse spends time with uncle Gabriel, Thomas, Anna and Grace. You can just say is a continuation of this other fic I've posted a few days ago. The next fic will be about Grace and Christopher (also: anon, I hope you don't mind I'll use your prompt!). I also hint at this in this fic. So, happy reading! ✨

Characters: Jesse Blackthorn, Thomas Lightwood, Gabriel Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Grace Blackthorn, Lucie Herondale

Jesse sat across his cousin Thomas in the carriage, and it was a bright morning. He forgot how hot the weather could turn towards the summer season, and wished he hadn’t worn a coat, because the air in the vehicle was stale, and he was sweating. Too late. Too late and too bad the windows seemed to be stuck, but at least they had almost arrived at his uncle Gabriel’s house.

“Are you adapting well?” Thomas asked him.

“Uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily are very kind,” he said. He accepted to live at their house for the time being, while he continued training to become a shadowhunter. “And Anna decided to give me her room while I’m there. I can’t express my gratitude enough.”

Thomas smiled. “Don’t mention it. You’re part of our family. But even if you weren’t, we would still help you, Jesse.”

Jesse couldn’t help but grin, and blush a little. He remembered when he was a child. His mother never failed to mention how his uncles and their families were corrupted, evil, and they needed to be kept at arm’s length, if he ever were to cross paths. But his relatives had been nothing short of welcoming.

“Looks like we’re here,” Thomas announced, glancing outside. “By the angel, uncle!” he exclaimed next, as he opened the door to get off.

Jesse exited after him, and saw his uncle Gabriel touching the side of his shoulder. “Is everything alright?” he asked. Thomas seemed to have stormed inside already.

Gabriel looked up, and winced a little. “Yes, yes. I wanted to open the door for you, but Thomas beat me to it,” he shrugged. “Did you have fun at Gideon and Sophie’s?”

Jesse nodded. “They took me around Idris. It was really nice,” he said. He had seen Idris already, when he was a ghost. But seeing it during the day was something entirely different. He liked the shadowhunter city, and the life that came with it. Although, if he had to be honest, he preferred the area where Blackthorn Manor was located, at the edge of Brocelind forest, where there was nothing else but vegetation around him. And Herondale Manor.

“I’m glad, I’m glad,” Gabriel replied. “When you’re ready, we will accompany you to the manor like you asked last time. Do you still want to renovate it?”

“I think it’s my duty as the last Blackthorn alive.” It felt weird to utter the word alive without thinking himself dead. I am alive. I am alive. I am living. “And I want to see if there is something that can be salvaged from the ruins. You know, family heirlooms, and things like that.” There weren’t many things in the manor that Jesse had cared about, because admittedly, there hadn’t been much to begin with. He hoped that most of the items he used whenever they were there, like the old books which probably belonged to his father or grandparents, hadn’t been destroyed in the fire. He had cherished those books. They were one of the few goods that had given him a glimpse of how his father might have been around his age. He didn’t live that long, after all.

Sometimes, he found himself thinking about Rupert. How life might have turned out, if he hadn’t lost his life before he was born. Now his uncles, aunts and cousins were the closest thing he had to a family. His uncle Gabriel offered to teach him how to use the bow and arrow, which had surprised Jesse. He hadn’t asked anyone to help him with training. He was happy someone offered to help him.

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to use it, but we didn’t have one at Chiswick,” he told Gabriel in the training room of the London Institute, where there was more space available to practice.

Gabriel had made a face. “Strange. There was one which belonged to me, but maybe,” he had shaken his head, lost in thought. “Nevermind. Let’s get started, shall we?”

And then he had spent the day learning how to hold the bow and shoot. It hadn’t been easy, and his shoulders were a little stiff, but he had managed to pull a few good shoots by the end of their session. His uncle had patted his shoulder lightly and had congratulated him. It felt good.

“Not bad for your first time,” he had commented. “How did you find the bow?”

“I think I like it.”

“If we train more, you will get even better. No pressure.”

Jesse wasn’t sure if the bow and arrow was his weapon of choice, but he surely wanted to know more about it. “Thanks, uncle Gabriel,” he had replied, making his uncle’s face brighten.

It was the first time he had called him uncle.

Gabriel and Jesse reached the drawing room. Perched on an armchair, newspaper in hand, sat his cousin Anna Lightwood. “About time, cousin. My tea’s got cold,” she said, twirling the cup in her slender fingers for show. It was empty.

Jesse had heard a lot about Anna. Had seen her while he was a ghost as well. She had a reputation for being fashionable and very direct, confident. Two things he didn’t think he was, but not everyone was perfect, and he was sure that Anna had demons of her own. Perhaps, someday they would talk about it like cousins did. He believed.

“You know that our family’s carriage is slow, Anna,” said Thomas from the window, his arms crossed on his chest.

“Right. Anyway, you’re here, finally,” she said, rising from her seat. “Are you excited that we’re about to redo your wardrobe?”

“I trust your judgement” he answered. “But please, don’t make me ridiculous.”

“You, ridiculous?” Anna’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “You could never be ridiculous with such features. Trust me on that. I will make your black hair and green eyes combination shine.”

“If you say so,” he pursed his lips. “Grace,” he said then, as his sister crossed the threshold. She had been staying at the Lightwoods as well, but lately she had been spending more time at Grosvenor Square, where the Fairchilds lived. She told him that she liked to help his cousin Christopher in the lab, and that she wanted to learn more about science. Jesse couldn’t object about that, because he knew that his sister could never truly pursue what she wanted. He just wanted her to be happy, and if science was what she was interested in, so be it.

“I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to change.”

“Did my brother burn something again?” Anna asked. “Last time I wanted to watch what he was doing, he ruined my tie.”

“And he almost burnt my eyebrows once,” Thomas reminded them.

“Nothing of the sort,” Grace said. “It’s late, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we go?” she asked hurriedly, as if she didn’t want to continue that conversation. She barely talked about what happened in the lab, and he guessed she didn’t want to. Not that he wanted to know. He respected her privacy, but not everyone did.

Thomas stayed behind because he had something to do, whereas Jesse, Anna and Grace decided to take a walk to get to the shops where they could find something for him. They didn’t disguise themselves, which he liked. It made him feel part of the world again, to be seen by people. The street Anna had taken them teemed with pedestrians going about their day, and they reached the clothing shop soon. It had a big sign on it, and some dresses on display.

Anna decided that purple and burgundy were Jesse’s color, and she chose a couple of waistcoats. She insisted that she would pay, saying they were a welcoming gift. Now they were visiting the third shop, which was a three floor building which sold different items for men and women alike. He believed they had bought several pieces already, but Anna was convinced that he needed a coat for the winter season, even if it was almost summer. Ah, and a bathing suit. Really? As she was looking around to find the perfect piece, he decided to take a tour around the store, since he had never seen one like that before.

He was by himself as he waited, because Grace excused herself that she also needed to look for something. He walked around and glanced at the accessories and the clothes, until something caught his eye.

“I don’t think that is her style,” Grace said, reappearing by his side as if she had appeared out of thin air.

He lifted a brow. “I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he feigned ignorance. “And how do you know what her style is?”

“You’re right, I have no idea about that. Although I’ve paid attention to her, I’m not sure.”

“About what?” he peered at her as she was checking something from the same rack.

Grace gave him an unreadable look. “She seems fickle. I’m worried that now that she managed to bring you back, she won’t be interested anymore.”

“I understand your concern, Grace,” he told her flatly. “But I can assure you, it’s nothing like that.”

“Has she told you she loves you already?”

“How do you know that?” he asked, blushing, glancing away.

“She did,” Grace said, inclining her head. “I can’t believe it. I thought she would never.”

Jesse didn’t know how Grace had realized that, but he could tell that she understood his feelings, and she didn’t want him to get hurt. He was about to ask her something, when Anna interrupted them.

“This looks refined, cousin,” she commented. “Lucie will like it,” she added, before she stormed away again.

Jesse and Grace exchanged a glance, and the latter grinned. He felt his cheeks warm, and he walked away before his sister could notice he was blushing.

...

A few hours and several bags of clothes and accessories later, they all went back to the Lightwood residence. Anna was pleased with what she had chosen for Jesse, and said that she’d be looking forward to seeing him in one of them at the next event, whatever that might be.

“Anna has a good eye for fashion,” Grace commented, holding two bags of clothes as well. “Do you think she likes us?”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Jesse shrugged. It was a curious question he did not expect.

“Well, you’re her cousin, whereas I’m -” Grace stopped mid-sentence, making Jesse wait. “Lucie.”

She turned abruptly, as if she had been caught with her hands in the cookie jar. She glanced at Grace, then at him. “Hello, Grace. Hello, Jesse.”

“What are you doing here?” Grace asked bluntly. It sounded a bit like an accusation, but considering the conversation they had had in the shop earlier, he expected it. Grace was wary of Lucie.

Lucie sighed, and managed a smile. She wasn’t wearing a hat nor gloves, and he suspected she had been waiting for them. He glowed inside. She came to see him. Which excuse would she use today? He bit his lip expectantly, amused.

“I had to run an errand for… for aunt Cecy,” she mumbled, clutching her hands nervously. “She needed something to do something, I guess.”

Grace wasn’t convinced at all, but she let her go. “See you next time,” she just said, then gazed up at Jesse one last time before leaving them alone.

Once Grace was out of sight and out of earshot, Lucie advanced. She offered him her best smile, which he exchanged with one of his own.

“Nice excuse you’ve got here, huh,” he said.

“Was it that obvious?”

“She already knows, Lucie,” he revealed, to which Lucie just nodded. “You know that Anna took me shopping today,” he changed the topic quickly. He opened his arms, and she hurried to him and put her hands behind his back, and her head on his chest. He closed her in an embrace, and interlaced his fingers behind her neck.

“Did you buy a lot of things?” she asked excitedly. “I can’t wait to see you in one of the suits you bought with Anna.”

“You will see them soon enough, I think. Isn’t there a party next week? At the London Institute?”

“Is it?” she glanced up. “I didn’t. Why has no one notified me?”

“Do not sound so angry,” he chided, a smile dancing on his lips. “No one knows.”

“Are you teasing me, Jesse Blackthorn?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” he admitted. “I have something for you,” he said, and produced a small pouch from his pocket. “Here.”

Lucie examined it, and then looked inside. There was a silver comb with a butterfly decoration in it. “It’s precious,” she told him. Unable to hide her joy, she hugged him again, this time more tightly than before. “I really like it.”

“I’m glad,” he remarked, caressing the back of her neck. “I had to make up for the one I couldn’t retrieve from Chiswick.”

“Nevermind about that. I like this one more,” she said, and raised her head so that he could kiss her.

Someone cleared their voice, and they separated. It wasn’t a secret that they were together… to most. But probably, not everyone had caught up.

“Does Will know about this?” Gabriel asked, but they could tell he wasn’t serious, just curious. And he was smiling.

“Come on, Gabriel. Leave them alone,” Cecily intervened, taking her husband’s arm to lead him away, winking at them. “They were just embracing.”

“He will know next week,” Jesse said, making Gabriel and Cecily stop in their tracks. “That I plan to spend the rest of my life with Lucie, however long that might be.”

Lucie opened her mouth in surprise, and looked at him. “Jesse, are you...”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Undoubtedly, yes!” she exclaimed, embracing him again.

“Did he just propose to her or it’s my impression?” Gabriel wondered out loud.

“He did. Yes, he sure did,” Cecily said, and dragged a blabbering Gabriel away, while Jesse basked in his own happiness with Lucie, and he felt alive.

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed, send me a PM): @princesslucinda @kit-12 @immortal-enemies @lucian-evander @esa-emery @danieldyers @blackthorn-trash @rinadragomir @fortunesandfables @itsdaughterofthemoon @silvenys@thomastair3 @livvyheronstairs @ holding-infinity-and-a-book @lovelaces @axoloteca @autumnangel20 @cordelia-cardale @lucie-blackthorns

[princessofgayskull]

our secret moments in your crowded room // pt. 2

a catradora drabble (companion piece to this) featuring Melog

summary: Catra doesn’t want to go back to sleeping alone, and her new room in the Bright Moon Castle is too big not to be lonely

The first night Catra sleeps alone, she doesn’t sleep at all.

She doesn’t understand how anyone expects her to, either. The night that followed Horde Prime’s defeat, the first time the moons rise on a planet that finally peace, is total and complete chaos. It’s the feel of magic settling in the air, it’s clones who don’t know who they are or what to do expect stand around everywhere, it’s the victory cry of Etherians echoing across the horizon, Catra’s voice joining them for the first time. 

It was also too unfeasible to go all the way back to Bright Moon and make it there in time for anyone to get any actual sleep. Not that anyone gets much rest back at camp either, but at least those shelters were already made. The night was equal parts celebration and retribution. For the first time in years, Catra falls asleep on Adora’s shoulder with Melog sprawled over both their laps. For the first time in years, Catra wakes to find Adora still there with.

But going to Bright Moon is unavoidable. It’s unavoidable because it’s Etheria’s center, it’s where the diplomacy flows out and into the rest of the system, it’s where the new beginning actually begins and Glimmer has this idea in her head that Catra should be there and should be a part of it. What, like she’s gonna go back to the Fright Zone? There was nothing left for her there. 

Everything important in Catra’s life is heading towards Bright Moon for the next phase, and they want Catra to come with them. Adora wants Catra to come with them. And when Adora tells her that when they’re breaking down camp, her hands on Catra’s shoulders and that soft look in her eyes, that instinctual urge to run away disintegrates into nothing.

She just doesn’t expect her first night in Bright Moon to be spent staring up at a ceiling so far up in a room enveloped in the night’s darkness and the paralyzing sound of her own loneliness. Melog sleeps across her chest, a white noise machine of warmth, keeping her grounded in this reality of this room that has its own gravity. Catra can’t find it in her to close her eyes as she lays across what’s more of a pillow plush than an actual bed.

The only reason Catra’s in here is because Glimmer gifted her the room out of legitimate kindness. As it turns out, Adora got one of her own when she left Catra- sorry, defected from the Horde- because people here were actually treated like people and regardless of what Catra had done in the past, she fell into that category now. She was one of them now. It didn’t make her a princess or queen by the longest shot, but around here that counted for something.

“Pretty sweet accommodations, huh?” Glimmer had thrown her words from Horde’s Prime back at her, holding back no amusement when she had shown Catra around the room, teleporting in a craze from one piece of fancy furniture to the next.

All of the moments that Catra had spent overwhelmed and so, so out of her depth since walking into Glimmer’s palace were coming crashing down on her now and she could barely breathe under the weight of it all. Figuring all her snarky commentary about the way Royals lived was enough, Catra didn’t bother voicing her discomfort. Deep down, she hoped that the way Melog wrapped themselves between her legs and curled their tail up her thigh clued Adora- or anyone really- into how much she wanted to be whisked away from this.  

Why hadn’t Adora just asked Catra to stay in her room? Catra would’ve been more than okay with that. 

Running her claws down her face, Catra groaned. It had been stupid to think that those sleepovers Glimmer gushed about when it was just the two of them on Horde Prime’s ship would last forever now that she was a part of the gang. Not as stupid as thinking Adora would be up for some sort of cohabitating, shared sleeping arrangements with her when they’d been sworn enemies less than a month ago.

“I need to give Adora space. She’s her own person, she can make her own decisions.” Catra tells herself, trying to take a deep breath like Perfuma had taught her. “And I’ll fall asleep eventually. I don’t need her around to do that.”

This statement prompts Melog to lift their head, ethereal blue eyes wide and shining with packed judgement.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Catra hisses at her animal/alien companion. The dissonant purr of Melog’s reply fills the empty space around them.

“You didn’t ask Adora if she wanted to sleep alone. You can ask her if she wants to sleep together, and if she says she wants space, then you know,” Melog’s purr ends and Catra rolls her eyes before throwing her head back on her pillow.

“How does that help me now? Adora’s probably asleep already. Last thing I wanna do is wake her up and get punched in the nose. Again.”

Melog, keeping their eyes on Catra, withholds their reply. Not backing down form the staring contest the alien cat has incited, she glares at her companion. Which is useless knowing how she’s practically see through to this creature- wait, she stops herself, blinking. See through.

Catra has the beginnings of an idea. A creepy idea, so she doesn’t bother trying to think it through, rather pushes Melog of her legs and trips off the giant pink pillow puff that’s her bed so she can act before she uses her bravery. 

A purr makes Catra’s ear perk up, “Really? Are you sure this is a good idea?

“Hey!” Catra sent a flat look in Melog’s direction. They’re shielding her legs and making her think twice. “Laying next to that cot Adora has cloaked isn’t great but it’s better than being in here alone!” Alone with the images that haunt her, the images she’s sees when she lets her eyes close: Shadow Weaver taking her mask off before ceasing to exist, the violent green waters of Prime’s baptismal font, Adora unconscious in her arms as the world ends around them. With shaking hands she asks, “Are you gonna help me or not?”

Melog runs through her legs, rubbing her calf with their phasing mane. Catra’s companion heads for the door.

 _

Sneaking past the Queen’s Guard is child’s play. Melog has her back, keeping the both of them cloaked, as Catra sneaks around in her Horde issued bra and sleeping shorts. Maybe one day she and Adora will get around to finding clothing that can withstand the strain of battle that doesn’t carry the Horde’s symbol, but Catra doubts a shopping list is high on anyone’s priority list right now.

It’s not like any of the guards that stand at fourteen feet intervals- Catra notices- are on high alert, or would rat her out for being out past curfew. Because there’s no curfew here and that’s not their job. But Catra breathes a little easier knowing she can’t be seen. Maybe it’s because they can’t ask questions if they can’t see her, can’t make her rethink her strange stalker like actions. Maybe it’s because wearing their clothes, Catra hasn’t exactly shaken off the rust of growing up in the Fright Zone.

Melog keeps her out of sight as they walk past Bow’s room, sending her a look when they hear his snores seeping out from under the door frame. Catra shrugs. 

With no guards around, Melog starts up again, “Why did they put Adora’s room so far from yours?” which Catra knows is probably code for, “how much longer do I have to keep this up?”

“You big baby,” Catra runs her hand over Melog’s tail, “And I dunno, how I am supposed to know the inner workings of Sparkles’ mind? I’m like, the first person new here that hasn’t been a prisoner.”

Her claws trail the wall and she keeps up with Melog’s steps. 

The fact that the room Glimmer put her in was where they’d been “keeping” Scorpia didn’t go over Catra’s head. Yeah, she and Scorpia are on better terms these days, but remembering how Scorpia left her for the Rebellion still brings a sting to Catra’s throat. Remembering that it was her own fault is like the punch in the gut she didn’t ask for, but probably deserv- WHACK!

“Ow!” Beyond the pain resonating in Catra’s forehead, she can hear Adora cry out. 

“Adora?!” Melog’s cloaking falls and Catra is standing in front of her, well, sort of girlfriend, wincing and holding her forehead there in her gray tank top and shorts.

“Catra?!” Adora yells with the same tone when she realizes what the invisible force she butted heads with actually is. “What are you doing out of bed?” 

“I could ask you the same thing.” replies Catra.

Adora takes a guarded stance and Melog looks between the two of them before her shoulders fall, “I- I couldn’t sleep. I thought, um, that I could come see you? I mean, I did think you were going to be asleep and I thought I could just stay there with you-” as she speaks, a sort of softness overcomes Catra. How had she managed to survive on the other edge of Adora’s sword? No wonder her destiny as a Force Captain was doomed from the start, that her anger sputtered and left her burned out. Catra had so much love for this woman. It was always going to win out at the end of the day. “-is that creepy? I know, it’s creepy but I just really wanted to see you-”

Catra grabs Adora’s hand and looks her in the eye. “Do you wanna come lay down? With- with me?” 

“Mmhmm,” nods Adora. She intertwines their fingers together, and when Catra starts to pull her back up the hallway, she follows without hesitation.

Since they’re going back the way they came, past Bow and Glimmer’s rooms, Catra’s hand finds Melog’s forehead and the cloaking flows through their bodies. Catra and Adora don’t make any noise, don’t make any stops, beyond the looks Catra throws her over her shoulder. Right before they reach the door to Catra’s room, Adora squeezes Catra’s hand. 

“Hey,” her voice is barely above a whisper, “why were you out of bed?”

“No reason.” Catra turn her face away, hoping that the cover of the dark will hide her growing blush. She curls her tail around her waist and keeps it there to keep it from betraying her.

“Oh my gosh, Catra- were you coming to see me?” Adora throws her hands onto Catra’s shoulders, a playful instinct that Catra can’t fight the subconscious need to return.

Melog’s cloaking falls.

Grabbing Adora’s fingers, Catra pulls her sort of girlfriend to her front before grabbing her wrists and pinning her to the wall. Their noses touching, Catra lets herself smile, “Okay, maybe I was. You’re not the only person who doesn’t want to sleep alone.”

“Is it also cause you like me?” teases Adora. 

Even in the dark Adora’s the most beautiful thing Catra’s ever seen; blonde hair unrestrained and kissing her defined shoulder, standing up against the wall in her pajamas, she���s all Catra’s ever wanted.  

“You idiot,” Catra kisses her lips, “it’s actually because I love you.”

_

Catra wakes to a warmth against her back. A chest rising and falling, a hand lain across the crook of her elbow. Opening her eyes, she sees that it’s not only light out, but that the dawn has come and gone, turned in midmorning without their permission. There’s no way she and Adora haven’t slept in way past the time the promised to be up and ready to take on the challenges that awaited them in peacetime.

“Adora,” she mutters, rolling over and buries her face in the space between Adora’s shoulder and head, “you’re hogging the blanket.”

Adora doesn’t open her eyes as her grip on Catra’s waist tightens, “‘S’not fair. You have Melog.”

Running her hand down the side of her animal companion, Catra lets out of a breath. She’s sandwiched in between Melog and Adora’s warmth, the little spoon wrapped in Adora’s calm embrace. There’s nothing Catra would change about this. This is the way she’d keep things forever if it were up to her.

“We have to get up soon,” Catra tries, yawning and stretching her arms out.

Her girlfriend’s hands come down over hers, “Don’t want to.”

“Adora-”

“I want to stay with you, Catra,” her sleepy voice reverberates over Catra’s ears and they flatten under her chin. Tail winding around Adora’s waist, she pulls her closer and sighs.

“What if Rainbow and Sparkles come looking for us?” 

Adora, eyes still closed, lets out a happy sigh. “Let them.”

It goes without saying that Catra never has to sleep alone again.

reblogs > likes!

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

Alex meets Ari, epilogue

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |

Content Warnings: demon/incubus character, romance, established relationship, car accident mention, injuries, bruises, arguments, angst, emotional whump, caretaking, consensual kissing and touching, happy ending

Tag List: @deluxewhump @grizzlie70 @gatheringofsuffering @xmonster-under-the-bed @emreads @whumpingmydarlings  @endless-whump​

Author’s Notes: I can’t believe I actually finished something I started!! Once again, thanks so so much to everyone who’s read these. :)

----

Dating Alex is like dating the weather. There are storms and dreary skies, calm overcast days, days of warm sunshine. Getting to know him is like diving into a lake he thinks is shallow only to find unexpected depths of thoughts and feelings, of humor and intelligence. In spite of the relatively mundane life they lead, Arinn finds he is never bored.

All of it is a novelty. Staying with the same person, of course, takes adjustment. Arinn had such a set routine and methodology when it came to finding sustenance that he feels a little lost when it’s gone. But that void is always quickly filled. They binge shows, they try recipes, they take walks. They go to movies and restaurants and, yes, the mummies exhibit and other museums. It’s the closest thing to a normal life Arinn has ever had, yet it feels strange and exciting.

Perhaps the most astounding thing is the lack of pressure to have sex. Before this he was in bed with a new person a couple times a week. Often someone he didn’t particularly like, just to scrounge for the smallest touches to keep himself going. Worse than that, sometimes he would end up discovered, captured and tormented, with no one to help, not like that day Alex found him. The things that were done to him, that he had to bear alone…

But now he only has sex when he actually wants to, and it feels like a small miracle. He enjoys sex well enough, but is more than happy with cuddling, kissing, even lying with his feet across Alex’s lap. And if the kissing gets heated or Alex looks particularly gorgeous that day, well…Arinn certainly isn’t going to complain if they end up in bed.

A little over eight months into dating, Arinn’s lease ends and he moves in. He spends most nights there anyway, but still, it’s a little daunting. But between their jobs and Alex’s therapy and workouts, it doesn’t feel like they’re constantly around each other. Arinn adjusts to it quickly. He can’t deny how incredible it feels to know without a doubt that he won’t go to bed alone each night.

They both work early shifts, starting before dawn and getting home in the early afternoon. So Arinn isn’t prepared at all when Alex comes home telling him he’s going to have to work an evening shift for a couple of weeks.

During the first week, Arinn returns from work only an hour before Alex has to leave to catch the bus. Other than that single hour and when Alex crawls into bed at night, they have no time together. By Friday, Arinn is beyond ready for the weekend. He works Saturday morning, but he doesn’t care. He’s prepared to stay up late just to greedily take in a little extra time with Alex.

“I’ll be home by 10:30,” Alex promises as he gets dressed.

Arinn has the restraint to wait until he’s finished buckling his belt to go over and kiss him. “10:30. I’ll be here.”

Alex’s smile warms him like nothing he’s ever felt. “Good.” He kisses Arinn once, then again, then a third time. He’s contemplating a fourth when Arinn nudges him towards the door.

“Go on,” he says reluctantly. “Have a good day. Night. Whatever.”

Alex laughs as he slips his shoes on. “I’ll try.” And then he’s out the door.

----

10:30 rolls around. Arinn has showered, tidied up the house, and threw together a small meal for Alex to heat up if he’s hungry. Then he plops onto the couch and waits.

At 10:37 he assumes the bus is running late. At 10:49 he wonders if Alex missed the bus and had to catch another. He bounces his leg impatiently and checks his phone every couple minutes in case Alex calls or texts.

He doesn’t.

By 11:00 Arinn is up and pacing. He calls Alex but gets no answer. He leaves voicemails, his voice shaking. He texts him. Where are you? Are you okay? Did work run over? Please answer me.

He said 10:30, Arinn thinks. He said no later than that. He promised. But he isn’t here…

Arinn doesn’t know what to do. He flips between worry and anger and hurt. What if something happened? What if he went out for drinks with coworkers? What if he lied? The possibilities spiral through his mind unchecked.

Then, at 11:43, there’s a key in the lock. It clicks, and the door creaks open.

Alex steps - stumbles - inside and closes the door slowly behind him before leaning back against it with a long sigh.

He looks like hell. His hair is a mess. There’s a bruise on his cheek. His jacket is torn and his clothes are dirty. He’s got one arm draped across his opposite side and he’s breathing raggedly.

Arinn can’t process this. Alex said 10:30, he wasn’t here, Arinn was going out of his mind, and now he shows up looking like this. It’s too much. Before he can stop to think, he explodes.

“Where the hell were you?! It’s been over an hour! Did you get into a fight or something? What the fuck, Alex?”

Arinn is shaking. If he could just stop and think he’d know he isn’t really angry, just shaken. He would see the hurt in Alex’s eyes. He would reach for him with care rather than lash out with accusations.

Alex’s face hardens. He kicks off his shoes and hangs his keys up on the hook.

“Bus crashed,” he mumbles. “Driver had a stroke or something. Ran off the road and rolled onto its side. None of us could leave until we were all looked over by the paramedics and questioned by the police.” He winces as he removes his jacket. “I was lucky I guess. Just some bruising. Got cleared and got a ride here from a cop. Some people left in ambulances.”

Something sinks inside of Arinn. His resolve crumbles and he’s left at a loss for words.

“Why didn���t you call?” he manages weakly. “I would have - have - “

“Have what? Picked me up? We don’t have a car.”

“You still could have told me! Or at least answered my texts!”

“My phone fell out of my pocket!” Alex bursts out. “It’s probably still in the bus being towed halfway across town by now. It’s not like they were going to let me go look for it while they were trying to pry out people who were trapped!”

He begins to walk stiffly toward the kitchen, past Arinn without so much as looking at him. Arinn follows numbly. He watches Alex take a pack of frozen veggies from the freezer and hold it to his side while he leans on the counter for support. His back is to Arinn.

“Fuck...” he whispers. “Alex, I - god, that’s - I don’t know what to say…” Say sorry you idiot! “Thank god you’re alright...I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you…”

Alex huffs. “Guess you’d have to find a new meal ticket,” he snaps. 

As soon as he says it the room feels colder. Tension hangs over them like a dark cloud. There’s a hesitation from Alex. For a moment it seems like he might speak. Might take it back. But he only sighs and carefully makes his way into the living room. Arinn hears him groan as he sits on the couch. He continues staring at the place where Alex was just standing.

Arinn’s feet are moving before he knows what he’s doing. He throws his shoes and coat on over his pajamas and is out the door.

He hears it slam behind him.

He hears “Ari, wait! Shit - “

He keeps going.

He doesn’t look back.

Arinn is a block from the apartment building before he finally slows down. He can barely see the sidewalk ahead of him through the blur of tears.

I fucked up. I fucked up. It’s over. I fucked up.

He’s angry, but only at himself. If Alex meant what he said it has to be because Arinn screwed up, didn’t show him enough that he cared, wasn’t good enough at communicating. He should have known he was in over his head. That it was too good to last.

“Arinn!”

Arinn stops walking. It can’t be…

He whirls around to find Alex staggering after him. Even in the dim light from the street lamps Arinn can see that he’s struggling to remain standing, let alone walk. Yet here he is.

“What are you doing?” Arinn croaks. “Y-you’re hurt, you need to be resting…”

With considerable effort, Alex catches up to him. He’s panting heavily. Arinn can’t decide if he wants to turn and run or pull Alex into his arms. He does neither.

“I’m - sorry - “ Alex gets out between breaths. “I didn’t mean it. I swear. I was angry - it, it just popped out - “

“I don’t blame you,” Arinn says quietly. “Given what you know about me. But if it means anything, I - I don’t see you that way. As just a - a meal.”

“I know,” Alex says, putting his whole heart into the words. His eyes are shining. He looks desperate and fragile and Arinn just wants to gather him close and make it all okay again.

“I know that,” he says again. “Please believe me. I shouldn’t have said that, it was so stupid. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Arinn asks a little too harshly. He flinches and softens his tone. “I attacked you the minute you walked in the door. After the night you had that’s the last thing you fucking needed. I was just scared.” He puts his face in his hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Alex. I don’t know how to do any of this.”

When Alex speaks again he’s a little closer. Just a few feet from Arinn, but still not close enough to touch.

“Me either,” he says. “This is the first time since coming here that I’ve had to actually use the things I’m trying to get better at...it’s like, therapy was just training but this is the real deal. And I’m so scared I’m going to fuck it all up. Like I did tonight.”

“That makes two of us,” Arinn whispers. He lowers his hands and wraps his arms around himself, feeling cold and brittle. “This - us fighting - is what I was most afraid of. I can’t help what I am. If - if it goes wrong, if we spend time apart or - or - “ he can’t bring himself to even say the words break up aloud for fear they will manifest as real. “ - or separate, what am I supposed to do? I can’t just go sleep with someone else if we’re still together, or if it’s unclear! I’m a lot of things but I’m not a cheater. I - I wouldn’t, I couldn’t…”

Alex listens. He always listens. Even when he’s tired or stressed or angry. Even now, when he’s injured and shouldn’t even be out here.

“You’re right,” he says when he’s sure Arinn is finished. “You can’t help who you are. And I won’t ever really understand what that’s like.” He takes a shaky breath. “What if we made some kind of deal or something. Like, if...if it ever comes to that, you can do what you have to do. No questions asked.”

Arinn’s chest feels tight. He’d do that? He’d let me do that? He knows the depth of Alex’s abandonment issues, between parents who were never around and friends and boyfriends who left him when he needed them most.

And yet he’s willing to look past Arinn sleeping with someone else, willing to trust that it’s nothing more than for his survival. It’s an offer that so many others would happily exploit. The amount that Alex is putting his heart on the line is daunting.

“I don’t want that,” Arinn replies, his voice cracking. “I don’t want anyone but you.”

As soon as he says the words he knows that they’re true.

Alex steps a little closer. His expression is indecipherable. His bottom lip is trembling.

“Really?” And oh, the disbelief in his voice is the most heartbreaking thing. Arinn feels a swell of hatred toward every person who made Alex feel like no one could ever want him.

“Yes, really.” Arinn steps a little closer, too. “Alex…”

The next words terrify him. He feels as though he’s hanging off the edge of a cliff, and if he doesn’t make his move, however risky, he’s going to fall to his death. The truth is all he has now. It could ruin everything, or save it.

“Alex, I love you.”

Fragile silence follows, filled only by the soft chirp of crickets, the hum of someone’s television from a house, a train off in the distance.

A car comes up the road. Its headlights illuminate Alex’s face for a moment and Arinn can see the deep sea of emotion in his eyes.

Arinn is tensed so tight he feels like he might snap. He can feel his mind seeking a way out, the walls he’d let down going up -

“I love you too, Ari.”

With those softly spoken words the walls crumble to dust. He stares, dazed, at Alex.

“Don’t say it just because I said it,” he begs. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

Alex is shaking his head. He’s searching for words.

“No, no - you don’t understand, I-I do. I have. For a while now. But I was scared, I didn’t know where we stood. Or if it was too soon.”

“For...a while?”

“Yeah,” Alex says, hanging his head like a chastised child. “Don’t even know exactly when. I think maybe...I was a little in love with you right from the beginning. Which sounds crazy, I know.” He shrugs. “I’m a little crazy, I guess. And a lot to handle. But I know what I feel. And I love you.”

Arinn starts to speak but chokes on a sob. He throws his hand over his mouth. Tears stream from his eyes as he stares at Alex. Alex loves him. No one has ever loved him. He’s never loved anyone. It’s so much all at once, he can’t even get a word out. His sobs grow harder, everything he’s feeling boiling up and spilling over.

He doesn’t see Alex move closer, but he feels it when Alex’s arm wraps around him. He’s right here, warm and solid and real. He loves me…

Arinn finds himself pulled in by his gravity, leaning closer until he can bury his face in Alex’s shoulder. Alex tips his head to rest against Arinn’s.

“Please come home,” Alex whispers. “Please.”

Something between a hiccup and a laugh bubbles out of Arinn. “Of course I’m fucking coming home,” he says, the words half muffled into Alex’s shirt. He slips his arm around Alex’s uninjured side and holds on desperately. Alex kisses his head. Arinn doesn’t comment on the tears he feels drip into his hair from Alex’s cheek.

They stay like that until Arinn’s sobs cease and Alex’s breathing calms. By then it must be near one in the morning. A chill runs through Alex and his breath hitches as the movement jostles his injuries. The sound finally spurs Arinn into action.

“Come on,” he says, gently easing Alex’s face up. Alex looks like he could fall asleep where he’s standing. Arinn cups his cheek and kisses him deeply. “You’ve had a long day. Let me take care of you.”

Alex nods gratefully. He remains glued to his side, leaning heavily against Arinn as they slowly make the walk back.

----

Arinn’s hands shake as he prepares two cups of tea. In the quiet of the apartment there’s nothing stopping him from turning over the events of the night in his mind.

Tonight things came too close to ending, in more ways than one. If Alex hadn’t followed him he doesn’t know if they could have salvaged things the next day or not. He’s never done this. He doesn’t know when to keep fighting and when to give up. Tonight...tonight he gave up too quickly.

But what has him more shaken is the crash Alex was in. What he said was right: he was lucky. Arinn hates that he’s hurt at all, but it could have been so much worse. He could have been hospitalized, paralyzed, concussed, killed…

Arinn shudders and nearly drops the kettle as he goes to put it back. He stops and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. He’s okay. He’s okay.

He sets the cups on a tray - a real tray, not the baking pan Alex once brought him breakfast on - and carries them to the bedroom, trying to appear more together than he feels.

Alex is resting on the bed with his eyes closed, breathing softly. When they got back he managed to remain sitting up long enough for Arinn to peel off his ruined clothes and get some boxers onto him, then he flopped back against the pillows with a groan while Arinn maneuvered his legs onto the bed and pulled a sheet up to his waist.

Arinn sets the tray on the bedside table and looks at him. He focuses first on the slow rise and fall of his chest. He’s okay. He’s okay. It’s impossible for his eyes not to wander to the deep bruising that mars Alex’s skin, from the left side of his face trailing down over his shoulder and arm, his chest and ribs and side, fading out at his hip.

It’s a fucking miracle that nothing is broken. Something must have padded his fall somewhat. Arinn tries not to think about it too hard, because if he does, he imagines Alex’s body being tossed like a ragdoll against unforgiving metal and he wants to scream.

“Hey,” he says. He sits at the edge of the bed and strokes Alex’s cheek until his eyes open. As soon as he sees Arinn he presses his cheek into his hand. Arinn smiles. If he didn’t know better, sometimes he’d think Alex was the one who survived on touch.

“Tea’s ready. I have medicine, too. Tomorrow I’ll go get you something stronger but this will have to do for now. And then we can go to sleep.”

Alex nods, blinking slowly. He turns his face and kisses Arinn’s palm. “Thank you…”

“Stop that. You don’t have to thank me.” He reluctantly takes his hand away from Alex’s face. “Can I prop you up a little?”

Alex nods again, reluctantly. He draws in a sharp breath when he tries to sit up a little so Arinn can put another pillow behind him. “Ah...fuck, it hurts…”

“I know...I know, babe…” Arinn gets the pillow back there as quick as he can and then eases Alex gently back against it. He kisses all over his face in praise. “Just think, if it was worse and you went to the hospital, some nurse could be doing this right now.”

Alex chuckles. “Guess you’re my nurse instead.”

“Hmm. I don’t think nurses are supposed to do this to their patients…” he dips in and kisses him. Alex’s eyes slip shut and he sighs as their lips part.

“No, you’re right,” he agrees. “That has to be against some kind of protocol.”

Hearing him joke around lightens the weight in Arinn’s chest. He kisses Alex one more time and then takes his teacup from the tray and holds it up for him. “Here…good arm only, remember.”

Alex takes the cup with his right hand and takes a sip. He hums with approval.

“This is good.”

“This is how tea is supposed to taste when you don’t over steep it,” Arinn teases gently.

“Guess you’re making the tea from now on.”

“Gladly.”

While Alex sips at his drink Arinn looks through the things he pulled from the medicine cabinet. There are a couple different varieties of pain pills and some sort of bruise relief gel he’s never heard of.

“That’s for work injuries,” Alex says when he notices Arinn holding the bottle. “Doesn’t happen often but sometimes I drop something on my foot or lose my footing and fall. A coworker recommended it. It does help. I’m not sure I’ll be able to move enough to put it on, though…”

“Who said anything about you putting it on?” Arinn turns the bottle over to read the back. “You aren’t moving an inch. I’m taking care of you.”

When Alex doesn’t answer he looks up. His breath catches when he sees the open fondness on Alex’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing...I’m just...really lucky.”

Arinn feels his cheeks heating and he can’t do a damn thing about it. “Well...I am your nurse, right?”

“Mmhmm. My hot nurse.” Alex winks suggestively. In his weariness the gesture is clumsy, but it still makes Arinn’s blush deepen.

“Good lord, you’re already loopy and you haven’t even taken the pain meds yet.” Arinn pops open the bottle and puts a pill in his hand.

Alex reaches for it, but Arinn decides it’s only fair to turn the tables a little. He shakes his head and holds the pill up. Alex’s eyes follow it as Arinn slips it onto his own tongue.

His brow pinches. “What are you - oh - “

Arinn leans forward and kisses Alex slowly. As he does, he slips the pill into his mouth. When he pulls back, Alex is the one blushing.

He fumbles a little with the tea cup and drinks down the last of it, swallowing the pill. He lets out a shaky breath when he’s finished. “Holy shit Ari, you can’t just do things like that. I’m too banged up to - to - “

“To bang?”

Arinn grins. Alex groans, but he’s smiling. “You’re worse than I am.”

“And yet, you love me.” The words are still as foreign on his tongue as they are in his mind.

Alex’s expression turns soft, almost shy. He takes Arinn’s hand and squeezes it. “Yeah. I do.”

Arinn could drown in that deep gaze. To stay afloat he busies himself with opening the bottle of gel and squeezing some out into his hand.

“Alright. Last bit and then you can go to bed.” His hands hover over Alex’s heated skin. He chews his lip. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“It’ll only hurt at first,” Alex reassures him. “Then it’ll help.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Okay…”

He starts small, rubbing a tiny bit of the gel onto Alex’s bruised cheek. That goes fine. He rubs it onto his arm and shoulder as carefully as he can and Alex barely flinches.

The bruising on his side is the worst of it, though, and Arinn dreads it. But that’s also where he needs this the most.

Arinn gets some more gel onto his palms. Slowly, gently, he smooths it over the tender skin, flinching himself every time Alex makes a pained sound. “Hang in there…” He makes sure he’s covered every inch before finally moving down to his hip. When he’s done he presses an apologetic kiss to Alex’s chest. “All done…”

Alex breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you…” He closes his eyes as Arinn continues trailing comforting kisses up his neck and cheek, avoiding the bruised side.

When Alex’s breathing has evened out, Arinn gathers everything onto the tray and brings it to the kitchen to deal with tomorrow. He makes sure the door is locked, shuts off the lights, and then finally slips into bed beside Alex.

He lies there a while staring at Alex’s silhouette in the darkened room. Alex is so still, his breaths so slow, that Arinn assumes he must be sleeping. So it’s a surprise when his eyes open and he turns his head to meet Arinn’s gaze.

“You’re too far away,” he mumbles sleepily.

Arinn exhales. “I can’t exactly sprawl on top of you right now,” he whispers back.

“Then just…” he pats the small but notable empty space between them.

How can he not give in? At least it’s Alex’s uninjured side. He presses up close to him and holds his arm like a child holding a stuffed animal. “Better?”

“Better.”

After another stretch of silence, Arinn can’t help himself. “...Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t...can’t stop thinking about how it could have been so much worse…”

His tail curls over his hip, brushing against Alex’s hand where it lies on the bed. Alex cradles it and strokes it with his thumb.

“But it wasn’t. I’m right here, Ari.”

“But if you weren’t...if you hadn’t made it...you never would have known...” he nearly chokes on the whispered words.

“Known?”

“That I love you.”

“...neither would you,” Alex replies.

Arinn holds his arm a little tighter. He hadn’t thought of it the other way around, but Alex is right. In their fear and insecurity they both held in something the other desperately needed to hear.

“But now - “ Alex’s words are broken by a big yawn. “ - now we know…”

Arinn kisses his shoulder, overwhelmed with relief, gratitude, and love. “Yeah. Yeah, we do.” He kisses again and again, each one slower and sleepier than the last. “Get some rest,” he whispers against his skin. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

And the morning after that...and the next, and the next...

...and every morning after, for as long as you want.

-- The End --

[bitters-enthusiast]

birthday fic but belated

@timmys-and-scribbles i love you and i am sorry in advance if this is long and cheesy but

1. that’s julian and

2. that’s just showbiz babey

happy belated birthday bestie i hope you enjoy

“No, you don’t understand! Please, I’ll-- I’ll beg on my knees if I have to!”

Julian could be seen, and probably heard, from a block away pleading a poor man operating a gondola on the canal, and it didn’t look much like the man was giving in to him either. 

The man shook his head, planting his hands on his hips. “You-- you don’t have to get on your knees. But I still can’t do it, I’m sorry. It’s too short notice.”

The sob that came from the redhead next was anything but subtle, and he shoved his face in his hands. “Please. Please, sir, everyone else has cancelled on me. Don’t you want to be the minority?? Wouldn’t that be a more interesting story for you?? Please, I’ll pay double, I just need this ride tonight. It doesn’t have to be all night, even just an hour if I could--”

The gondola rower rolled his eyes. The dramatics were a bit much, but Julian had good selling points. “Fine! Fine, if it means you’ll leave me alone and I can get back to work, I’ll do it for double.” 

Julian almost screamed in excitement, and grabbed the man by his shoulders. He gave him a little shake, beaming a smile from ear to ear. “Thank you! Thank you, you’ve saved me. Thank you. I’ll see you in a few hours!”

--

After having shaken this man nearly to death, Julian decided it was time to start grocery shopping. If he was going to plan the perfect dinner for his perfect partner in crime, he wanted to have the perfect ingredients. After all, a pirate couldn’t ask someone to court him if he didn’t at least offer food and drink. . . right? 

He didn’t want to stress about it. This day was already a long time coming, but every time he thought he’d worked up the courage, he found it all lost again when Julianne teased him, or plotted with him another sneaky escapade. This woman definitely, without realizing, always kept him on his toes. And he wanted to return the favor, at least for tonight. Besides, a fun date never hurt anybody, even if he didn’t wind up asking her to be his girlfriend. 

The doctor spent about an hour or so shopping around for a dinner worth remembering. It took some time thinking of recipes he knew from the top of his head, but he settled on something fond from his childhood. Something Mazelinka almost always made, and almost everyone always liked it: soup. You couldn’t go wrong with a perfect soup dish paired with bread. Plus, looking for fresh ingredients and bartering with the merchants kept his mind off of the pent up anxiety he was feeling about everything. At least a dinner he was making by himself couldn’t be cancelled last minute. 

He’d finally settled on everything he needed, and was beginning to head back to the ship. He was carelessly swinging his bags back and forth, whistling a merry little tune to keep him in high spirits. 

The high spirits lasted all of five minutes to keep his mind off his worries.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Julianne, speaking to a familiar baker about eating some lunch. She was ordering some food when she caught him out of the corner of her eye, and excitedly called him over. 

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

She wouldn’t notice the bags, right? Of course she’d notice the bags. But he could just pass it off as stuff for the crew! Or maybe he could just pretend as if he didn’t see her--

Of course he couldn’t do that. 

Awkwardly, he put his arms behind his back, the bags hanging over them. He gave a strange smile and headed toward Juli, giving a head nod of acknowledgement. 

“Heyyyyyyyy... how are, uh-- whatcha up to?”

The woman raised a brow, a smile on her lips as she had just finished joking with the baker. “I’m........ ordering food. Why are you being weird?”

Uh oh.

Julian gave a dismissive ‘psh”, his face turning into an expression of confusion. “I’m not being weird. You’re weird for asking that, Juli. Anyway, what’s on the menu? What’s, uh, what’s for lunch?”

Julianne immediately knew something was up, but she wouldn’t press him about it until later. For now, she’d give him a bit of a hard time about it to see if he’d spill. “Food. Looks like,” she leaned over a bit, just a small part of his groceries in view, “you also have food on the menu.”

He leaned the opposite way, trying to make the bags less noticeable from her angle. “Oh. Oh! These, right. Yeah, Cap sent me out for errands today. You know those men, uh, always hungry! Yeah, can’t go forever without snacking, even if there’s only four of them on ship!”

A small laugh came from Juli. Yeah, she’d have to find out later. “Right. Well, I have to go eat before I go back to my own errands. Would you like to join?”

Why’d she have to be so sweet?? It made him all the more nervous, and he wasn’t being a very convincing actor at the moment. “Oh, I wish I could, darling! But Cap has been on my ass this morning about staying on task! We all know how, um, fleeting time is! I’ve gotta go, don’t worry about me, I’ll see you later on board, right?”

Her eyebrow still raised, she adjusted her own bag and nodded. “Ri--”

“Okay! Perfect! Amazing, and even perfect, you could say. Oh. Wait, I said perfect twice. Anyway, farewell! See you tonight.”

Juli watched as Julian walked away backward, still trying to hide his groceries. As he finally got further away, he tried turning away quickly to take off running, but accidentally bumped into a busy woman passing by. He apologized promptly and profusely, making sure she was at least okay before taking off again. 

Yeah, he was up to something.

--

It finally had gotten darker outside, the sun setting as Julian strode back toward the boat. After a few hours, he had prepared dinner, finalized the gondola plans, and had even set up an nice surprise afterward to make sure everything was picture perfect. As if he hadn’t used the word ‘perfect’ to describe what he was going for all day. With his hands in his pockets, he’d finally settled down on his way back toward the ship, fairly confident in how the night would go.. at least for now. 

As he got closer to his familiar home of sorts, excited to meet Julianne and to get the night started after all this planning he’d done, Julian stops aboard the ramp of the ship, watching as Juli was mid-conversation with his crewmate and co-captain, Gerard.

Damn it. Here we go.

Forcing a smile, he stepped closer to hear their conversation.

A hearty laugh came from the crewmate, one that sounded incredibly devious to Julian’s desperate ears. “He really lied to your face like that, Miss Juli? Ah, you know I’d never treat you that way~”

Shut up. Shut up, Gerry. Not tonight.

Julianne would have been seen to smirk, rolling her eyes. “It’s not that he lied maliciously. I’ll still get him back for lying. But I know he’s doing something behind my back. I’m just confused as to what it is.”

Gerard leaned back against the rail of the ship, giving a nonchalant shrug. “Still. You know, it’s taken him far too long to commit to you. Maybe it’s time you give the ol’ captain a try. I,” a puff of his chest, and he placed his hand upon his heart, “wouldn’t have made you wait this long for me to meet up after lying to you, maiden.”

It was taking everything in Julian to not barge into their conversation immediately. The confidence he’d built on the way back was slowly diminishing, but he’d wait a few more seconds to see where this conversation went. 

“Co-captain, Gerard.” Julianne shook her head in amusement, also taking a seat on a nearby barrel. Might as well make herself comfortable as she waited. “How would Zora feel if she heard you giving yourself all the credit?”

“Hopefully very, very awfully.” Gerard chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair. “But my point remains. See how he still isn’t here? That just proves my--”

If Julian wasn’t known for dramatic entrances, then the sky wasn’t known to be blue. As if on cue, interrupting Gerard as he tried to make his “point” was easy as pie for Julian, and he climbed aboard with the biggest, most confident grin he could muster to save face. “Julianne, my love!” He greeted as if she were the biggest and most important guest he could ever serve, stepping between the two to swoop her into a hug. “I’m terribly sorry it took me so long to get back! I got caught in a scuffle between two men arguing, and you know I can’t resist a good fight.” The last lines were said between almost-gritted teeth, and Julianne pulled away from his hug reluctantly.

Like her expression was before at the marketplace, she had her eyebrow raised in suspicion. “Is that so? They didn’t happen to also be the ones to eat your snacks, were they?”

Gerard chuckled from behind, making himself comfortable both physically and in conversation. “I’d say Ilyushka has a bit of a hole to dig himself out of here, hmm?”

Begrudgingly, Julian turned to look at Gerard with the same forced smile. 

“Don’t you have a hole to dig yourself into, co-captain? Go find some buried treasure.”

A laugh from the man, as well as a clever reply, “Ah, but why would I go search for one when there’s one perfectly right before my eyes?” He flashed a smile in Julianne’s direction, and then gave an innocent, seemingly curious head tilt to Julian. “Oh, unless you couldn’t see that for yourself. It seems that eyepatch gets in the way of you looking past yourself and seeing what’s in front of you.”

The smirk began to fall from the redhead’s face, and he tried not to ball up a fist onto his friend right about now. In the end, he knew Gerry was teasing, but it didn’t make the blow less hard on his ego.

Julianne wasn’t naive to the tension; she started to make off-topic conversation. “I think Gerard is talking about the wine that Zora brought back after making a deal with the bartender down the street. Something about bringing back some of that Salty Bitters stuff from Vesuvia that you like so much. He wanted to advertise something new.”  

“Right. The wine is the treasure I was talking about.” A final chuckle from Gerard and he stood, clapping a hand against Julian’s shoulder. “Save me some dessert, Ilya. You know where my room is. Send her my way.”

“Bye, Gerry. Have a good night.” Julian pulled away slightly, looking his friend up and down.

Gerard gave a hum of triumph, and pulled his hand away. On his way toward the steps downstairs, he gave a final “You know I will.” in reply.

Once he was finally out of view, Julian deemed it safe to turn back to Juli for conversation. “I am.... so, so sorry, Juli. I know you’ve been waiting for a while.”

“I know you heard the conversation with Gerard.” She replied, placing her hands upon his shoulders. “I’ve been here for a whole of ten minutes. You know how he is. Dramatic.”

He gave a soft scoff in return, rolling his eyes. “More than I am sometimes.”

With a laugh, Julianne pulled her hands away, but not before giving him a gentle pat to the face. “Not quite.” Getting up from the seat she’d made herself, she patted down the dirt that’d gotten on her dress from doing so. “Anyway, are you finally done acting weird, or are you going to keep me on my toes.”

“Well.......” Julian gave a shrug, “Hopefully the latter. But not in a bad way, I swear. I do.”

The woman only gave him a pointed glare in response. In defense, he gently took hold of her hand, and began to lead her off the ship.

“Here. Just follow me.”

--

The doctor had finally gotten Juli all to himself. After all the shenanigans of the day, he could finally wind down and listen to her talk about her day. Her errands, odd customers, the odds and ends of magic that he enjoyed listening to her go on and on about. It was what gave him some sense of normalcy among the absurdity that he endured on the regular. The gondola ride had gone smoothly, and he had definitely given the rower far more than he was worth. If not just for the theatrics and the experience, he hoped that Juli enjoyed it. Maybe she’d grown suspicious of him throughout the day, but he wanted to make it up to her.

They talked about a woman who’d called Julianne in to help cleanse her home, not knowing the “cleanse” wasn’t anything spiritual -- it was because the woman had attempted far too many cleaning spells and caused an overgrowth in weeds in her garden and magic cobwebs in her corners. Julianne had to explain that “cleansing” a house didn’t actually mean to clean it.

How cute. How cute, how cute. 

An hour or so had gone by, and after their ride, they both thanked the rower tremendously. They’d even gotten a complimentary bottle of wine and a basket of fruit -- or maybe the rower was being kind since Julian had paid him so handsomely. 

Then, he took Julianne back toward the shore. 

He had taken hold of her hand and not let go, leading her down the beach close to the docks their ship had stopped on. He was sure she probably thought something odd was going to happen by the end of the night, but he wanted to make sure she enjoyed her time nonetheless. 

As they walked, he made soft conversation.

“You know, the ocean is a view I could never get sick of. It’s so beautiful. And when the moonlight hits it just right--” he gave a chef’s kiss of sorts with his free hand.

“I guess that’s a good thing, considering you’re on a ship the majority of your time.” Juli teased, giving him a gentle nudge. “But I think so too. It’s very captivating. Calming, even.”

“Like you, hmm?” Turning his gaze from the ocean to Juli, he gave a wink. 

With a fond roll of her eyes, she laughed a little. “You’re still being weird.”

“What? No. This is just regular ol’ Ilya.”

“Yeah. Weird.”

He grinned in turn, a grin full of absolute adoration. It was getting easier to rebuild that confidence from earlier. 

They continued their playful banter, all the way up until hey reached a hidden little cove, a tucked away cave of sorts, with a light shining from within. They were far away enough now that the lamps in town seemed like blur now, and Julian preferred it that way for what he had been planning. 

Julianne stopped, looking up at her partner with a confused expression. “What’s this?”

He let go of her hand, make sure he didn’t seem as if he were coming off maliciously. They had met, after all, under the guise that he was a murderer on the run. Julian offered one of his grins, the sweet kind, the kind that made you want to follow him into the unknown on an adventure you wouldn’t want to return from. 

“Just dinner. You trust me, right? You don’t still think I’m a weirdo?”

“Well. I definitely do.” 

A laugh came from Julian, and he just shook his head. He continued forward into the cave, giving her a nod to follow. 

She did, and as they entered, a small table Julian had stolen off the ship was sitting in the middle of the cave, lit candles surrounding it in the sand below to keep light inside. On the table sat dinner: two bowls covered to stay warm, bread on either side of them, a great big glass of wine in the center of the table, and two glasses for one each. 

With a great big swoop of his arm, he gestured toward the set up with a smile.

“Well, here’s the thing I was acting strange about. I just wanted... to set up something nice for the both of us.”

After her jaw had dropped at the initial shock, Juli turned to the man with a growing smile, and she genuinely looked impressed. “I’m surprised you could keep a secret this long.” Although she teased, she found his dinner setup rather charming. Nothing short of the extravagance he made for himself since the day she met him. 

He continued forward once more, pulling one of the chairs out for her to sit. Once she was seated, he also took a seat, and began to pour them each a glass of wine to drink. 

“Also, I stole this wine. This is the one Zora brought back, and Gerard is probably looking for now. Serves him right trying to steal my thunder.”

The woman laughs, reaching for her glass once it’s filled. “They’re going to kill you.”

He shrugged yet again, his signature smirk puling at his lips. “Worth it, if not just for the thrill of the escape.”

As Julian reached to uncover the bowls, a warm, earthy and flavorful aroma takes over the cave, and he explains his escapade to gather ingredients. Making the food proved to be a pain, having to bribe the ship’s cook to let him take over the kitchen to prepare their food, and to help him set everything up while he was out on the gondola ride with Julianne. He talked about how he now owed the cook kitchen duty for a week, and had to scrub the inside of the old hearth to make up for it. But it was worth it for him, to see how much she enjoyed his childhood favorite food. All the more memories to create, even if it was just soup.

Throughout dinner, it seemed as though Julian had about finished off the bottle of wine by himself. He was getting a little tipsy, and a bit more nervous toward the end of them eating. If only he had more liquid courage to help him out.

Julianne noticed how awkward he’d begun to get as dinner went on. When they finally cleared their bowls, he started going on about the importance of the correct shoes in acting. Something was up. 

She reached for his hands, which were getting ready to pour the last few drops of alcohol into his glass.

“Ilya, tell me what’s the matter.” Her voice was soft compared to his big, velvety tone. He couldn’t help himself, not in this state of mind.

“I- no, nothing’s the matter! I’m just saying, how can you frolic about in a tunic and boots? Sure they look great for the aesthetic and for the costume, but you need the smaller and more rounded shoes to move around the stage more fleetly.”

“You’re talking about shoes, Julian, after we just had a nice dinner in a fancy set up in a remote cave.” She laughed a little at the situation, and gave his hands a little squeeze. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

She was right. And he knew that she was. He hadn’t spent all day preparing for this moment to talk about how quick your movements need to be on stage. He had put all of this off long enough. Hell, for months. He was surprised she’d even stuck around that long, unless she thought this was all totally platonic. 

“Yeah. Yes. Yes, there-- there is something I have on my mind.” He let out a slow sigh, mentally preparing himself for his little speech. He knew that she would listen to every word, even if he slurred and stuttered his way through it. Her touch gave him a bit of sobering up, and in turn, he moved his hands to grab hers instead, leaning in closer to her presence.

“I.. hm. I’ve known you for quite a while now. And, for some reason, it feels like I’ve known you far longer than the several months we’ve been adventuring together. I don’t even know if that’s what you’d call it-- never mind. Regardless, darling, it feels like I’ve known you longer than a lifetime. Like I’ve known you since a life too distant to remember. And you... Julianne, you just seem so familiar. You met me thinking that I was a murderer. A fugitive. And even then, even after you thought I was using you, you stuck. You stuck with me. Up until then, I struggled so hard to find something like home. You gave me a chance, and I can tell you haven’t regretted it thus far. I just... don’t ever want to have to just remember you again. I want you to stick around. You’re perfect to be around. My perfect adventuring find. My... my perfect partner. We’ve never made any official call for what this is, and... I know this is all so ridiculous and grandiose and seems like some sort of proposal. In... in a way, it is. I just--” he lets his head fall, and he takes a pause, before he looked back up into Julianne’s face. “Please, little dove, would you give a pirate a chance and just call yourself mine already?”

...

Julianne, flustered, and unsure of how to respond in the immediate moment, searched Julian’s eyes for his genuine feelings. It was a long search -- after all, he’d just poured his onto the table, practically. This wasn’t at all a surprise, they had in fact been in some rut of infatuation without ever having admitted it to one another. It was always just implied. But here they were now, Julian basking in all of his monologuing glory...

Before she could respond, he was quick to make a joke, giving her hands a squeeze as she did his before he had come clean. “Plus, now I’m less likely to get in trouble for starting a fight with Gerard, seeing as how we’d be an official couple rather than just flirting, fleeting friends.”

Julianne shook her head, letting it fall as she let out a laugh. “You... are quite simply the most unbearable person I’ve ever met. In the best way possible.” Looking back up, he simply gave a friendly and teasing shrug in response, and she leaned in to seal the space between them with a kiss.

It wasn’t long before it grew passionate, one full of longing and hope from both of them. It would be hard for Julian to pull away, had he not been wait for a response. Before he let the kiss get carried away, he pulled back, a hand pressed to Juli’s face. 

“So?”

She looked him in the eyes, lifted a hand toward his face, and promptly gave him a flick to the nose.

“Ow!?” His brow furrowed, “What was that for??”

“For lying to my face earlier. I just needed you to know I didn’t forget.”

A huffy laugh came from the redhead as he reached to rub at his nose, now stinging slightly in pain. “Alright. Noted.”

She offered a final, soft smile, reaching to gently swipe her thumb over his nose in comfort. The woman then reached in for a soft peck. “I’ll be your girlfriend, Ilya. Or rather, your co-captain.” 

Julian beamed taking her face into both of his hands. “Oh, I’m so glad. As co-captain, can your first duty be to teach me an adjective other than ‘perfect’? I’m a doctor, not a novelist.”

“Sure. But only if you teach me one rather than ‘weird’,” Juli offered in reply.

“Good, good. But uh, can we wait until after dessert?”

“Didn’t Gerard ask you to save him some?”

“Oh, no. Gerry can starve. I’m sneaking dessert back into my room.”

[moireia]

Hello, Rei. I have you on my OC Creator's Bingo card. I love the MCU, so I was thrilled to see some OCs for that on your masterlist. Most of these are for Sasha Harmon.

What is Sasha's fundamental truth? What does she believe in no matter what? And is there anything that can shake her belief?

Does Sasha have any tattoos or piercings? If she does, is there any meaning behind them? If not, does she wish she did?

How would Sasha, herself, describe her family?

If you could have lunch with one of your original characters, which one would you choose and why? Which one would you pick last?

What is Sasha's darkest secret? What do you think woul happen if said secret got out?

1. I thought on this question for about 30 minutes; it’s such a good question and it’s tricky for Sasha because so much of her story she has to adapt to a new challenge almost constantly, so thinking of what is fundamental to her is tricky. Ultimately, Sasha believes in the people she loves. At the start of her story it shows in how much she trusts her adoptive father. He raised her to hide her abilities so she would be kept safe from those like SHIELD who would use her or treat her like an experiment. She listened to him and trusted him, always believing that he has the best of intentions for her. In IM2, when Tony is at his most self destructive and trying to push everyone away, Sasha never gives up on him. She won’t let him accept his fate because she believes he can find a way out. Sasha loves so so deeply and gives her trust fully, so her belief in those she loves isn’t something that can be shaken easily; it would take extreme circumstances. 2. Sasha has several piercings in her ear, the first from when she is sixteen and the next few when she is in college. No deep meaning behind them, other than fashion and enjoying earrings. Sasha doesn’t have any interest in tattoos for herself. She thinks tattoos are cool and had a lot of fun designing one for Darcy, Part of Sasha’s mutation is not only the ability to turn invisible, but strange marks on her body that she has hidden all her life. She’s too focused on hiding those than adding more marks to her skin.

3. I think the most fun way to answer this question is share the contact names Sasha has set for her family members: Dad Jokes 🌱  (her dad), Light of my Life 💜 (Darcy), Brohemian Rhapsody  (Tony), Madam President (Pepper), Rhodes (Rhodey) Happy Feet (Happy), Scandinavian Science Uncle 👨‍🔬 (Erik Selvig), Agent E 😎 (Easton), Isobel (her mother) 

4. I hate a hard time picking from my ocs who I would want to have lunch with cause I love them all for different reasons. I think I would want to have lunch with my legend of korra oc Jae Shin the most. I’m biased because I love and am fascinated by the world of atla, so I would ask her a lot questions about it and she would be a great person to answer because of how much she has studied about bending and the different cultures. Also I just want to hug Jae Shin and would like to comfort her, cause I know how she views herself and I would just want to be gentle with her and let her know that she is better than she believes and she doesn’t have to carry so much. It was easier to decide who I would never have lunch with and that is Rue Potter. First of all, she probably would hate to have lunch with me, if I’m a stranger. She’s such an intense person and really doesn’t have time for anyone she doesn’t deeply care about or needs. Knowing what I know about all that she does and will do throughout her story, I know I wouldn’t be able to comfort her or warn her or talk to her, she’s so set in her ways and in her choices. Like it wouldn’t at all be a fun time; Rue lowkey is a nightmare, but I love that about her, as a character. Would not actually want to ever meet her. 

5. Sasha doesn’t really have any ‘dark’ secrets, especially when I have a character like Rue who lives only in darkness and secrecy. Sasha doesn’t have many secrets in her life, mostly because she is a terrible liar and her secrets always get out at some point or another. For most of her life, she hides her mutation, and when that comes to light to SHIELD, it makes her life so much more complicated. She’s done her best to go unnoticed, even when she learns she is Tony’s sister. She wants to keep her adoptive father’s name and doesn’t really want the world to know she is a Stark, because it doesn’t matter to her. Sasha values her private life far more than her public life, Tony being her brother and acting like a brother to her matters more than the name attached. When it does leak to the public with the SHIELD file drop, #secretstark is one of the trends on twitter and there’s a lot of media attention put on Sasha, so she will have to deal with being a figure in the public eye when she never wanted it. 

[4aloysius-porteu]

i really wish i hated you || tsukishima kei

masterlist | 1 | 2 | chapter 3

pairing: tsukishima kei x f! reader

sypnosis: It was an accident that (Y/N) met a certain tall, blonde male; a memory she isn't fond of remembering, but it is where it all started. And ever since, she magically makes her to his path. The image of the bespectacled man dwelled in her mind more than she thought. Tsukishima pushed away his softer emotions and denied their existence, or at least that's what he told himself. But then, he couldn't believe that this girl he labeled as a clumsy, unlucky creature who smashed his glasses is slowly bringing these strange emotions back to him. She might be irritating and dumb sometimes, but he couldn't get himself to completely hate her. Either that destiny was stupid, or he was blessed or cursed.

genre: fanfiction, fluff

wc: 2.6k

She has met the tall, blonde, and bespectacled male yet again.

"Oh, the midget stalker is here."

"You again?! Seriously, I think it's you who's following me!"

"Hah, what do I get from following an extremely short person like you?" He said, borrowing her words from yesterday.

(Y/N)'s eyebrows creased further in irritation. "Why do you keep mentioning my height?!"

"It was you who started it. Anyways, can you shut up? Do you know that you're in a library?"

She didn't retort back and simply sat on the chair with her arms crossed. It was a fine day then —BOOM— this giant decided to appear out of nowhere. She was trying to forget this person who's associated with some of her embarrassing moments but those just got smashed back to her mind. (Y/N) sighed and pulled a book at the bottom of the stack to start reading, but noticed that the blondie is still standing near the edge of the table, hesitating to sit down while glancing somewhere and back to her.

"What?" (Y/N) frowned.

"Why am I unnecessarily stuck with you on this table?" He sighed, pulling out the chair.

"Because all of the tables here are taken? If you're worried about your glasses being knocked off, don't worry, I won't do anything reckless anymore."

"That's a nice reassurance," He settled down and brought out his studying materials.

Both of them shared the table in the crowded library. Ignoring the people, between them was a silent atmosphere. No one was talking as they both minded their own studies; he was reading quietly and turning pages of a huge book while (Y/N) wrote key points from the printed work and highlighting her notes. Sometimes, the other would leave to return books to their shelves and came back with new stacks. This went on for a few hours until her pen ran out of ink. She scribbled at the back of her notebook in hopes that the ink just got stuck, to no avail. She sighed, resting her head on the notebook. But she really needed to take down notes for her upcoming entrance exam.

"Hey." (Y/N) reluctantly said.

The blonde male looked at her, confirming if he's being called, "What?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your business but... do you have a spare pen?"

He stared at her with a straight face and placed his chin on the top of his knuckles, implying his refusal to lend one.

(Y/N)'s mentally gritted her teeth. I'm just going to borrow a pen and he's making it hard for me?!

Swallowing her pride, she said, "Look, I need to finish my notes. I'll return it to you right away when I'm done. I promise. Please?"

He scoffed as brought out a pen, "An inkless pen is all it takes for you to become a less lively puppy? You better keep your promise."

A puppy?! "You didn't need to compare me to a puppy but, thanks."

She continued her work but her focus was a bit shaken. This happens whenever she's interrupted or took a break away from writing. Soon, her focus vanished and boredom took over. She tried to read a book to review ideas but her brain won't cooperate. She groaned, her head and arms fell to the table again. The blonde saw but chose to ignore her.

She closed her eyes for a second, however, her gaze fell to the blank paper in front of her face. Her hands are itching to do something other than reviewing and writing, so she put down the pen she borrowed and took a pencil out of her pocket. She placed a pile of books near her notebook so that the male won't notice what she's doing. There, she started to sketch the base of the figure.

She would observe the four-eyed guy who's busy reading some sort of article while taking notes. He has a calm expression on his face rather than an irritated scowl or a mocking grin he usually has. He wears a long blazer and probably a long-sleeved shirt inside. His blonde hair is short yet the edges are a bit curly and his upper eyelashes are prominently long. This was the first time she stared at the jerk's face who she kept bumping into random places that irked the hell out of her, but for some reason, she felt that she had seen this person before the accident in the park, albeit she doesn't know where. (Y/N) came to a conclusion; he was a little good-looking.

The girl looked back to her drawing and shook her head at her own ideas. I can't believe I actually thought that this guy is handsome. How can such a mean creature be blessed with such looks?! Ugh, don't mind, (Y/N). I'm only drawing him because he seems like a great canvas subject, it's not like I haven't done this to other people before...

She went on drawing and drew details to the sketch similar to the boy in front of her. To make the drawing more accurate, she stole small glances at him. She kept things low key because it'll be another embarrassing event if he found out what she's doing. She made the lines smoother in one swift move. The hair and clothes' folds are already well-drawn while she focuses on the detail of his eyes and glasses. She was about to shade when the male finally caught her.

"What is it?" He questioned, closing his book with a low voice and creased eyebrows.

(Y/N) froze on the spot. As much as she doesn't like it, she maintained eye contact with him, thinking of the best alibi that he couldn't argue with. Then, she remembered that she doesn't know his name.

"Uhm... nothing. I was just wondering if you have a name." While talking, her finger subtly moved to grab the nearest object it could get to cover her drawing.

"I have, but why would I mention it to you?" He cooly replied.

"It's alright. I'm not asking you to. Unless you want to be referred to as he/him or the tall, blonde glasses guy all the time?" (Y/N) countered.

He silently turned a page before answering, "Well, it's not like we'll meet every day."

"Oh," was her only reply. Looks like he will stay a nameless guy in her head for a long time. She was about to get back to her business when he spoke.

"Tsukishima Kei."

(Y/N) looked at him in surprise. "I'm not going to repeat it." He added.

She smiled, having clearly heard it right away. "Can you tell me how it is written?"

He looked at her to check for ill intentions but found nothing in her eyes. He hesitantly wrote the characters of his name on a piece of paper.

"I'm (L/N) (Y/N), nice to meet you again, Tsukishima-san." She'd like to initiate a handshake for peacemaking, but she knows how he'd only decline it. She wrote her name for him to see as well.

Tsukishima Kei. She repeated in her mind. What a nice name.

With a notebook covering the upper portion of the paper where she had drawn his portrait, she wrote his name at the bottom. She proceeded to the shading and background features. Backgrounds are one of the things she hates in art because it takes too long to draw one compared to the subject itself. Luckily it's only a sketch so she won't have to suffer. Although she doesn't know if Tsukishima had seen whatever she's doing so she's still cautious. She peered at him for the nth time so she could distract his peripheral vision. Maybe to test the social initiative skills she hasn't used for a long time too.

"Uhh, can I ask something?" She started.

"Hm?" He responded without taking his eyes off the page.

"What school are you from?"

"Amemaru Middle School."

(Y/N) hummed, thinking of another question, "Then, what school are you enrolling to? It must be an upper class one since you had to read those large books and all."

"Not really," Tsukishima closed the book, "I plan to go to Karasuno High School. They may not have a difficult entrance exam, but these readings are for decent grades and some stock knowledge."

"Decent grades, huh... you look like you could achieve more though. I'm pretty sure you'll ace it." She answered, "I was from Kitagawa Dai Ichi. I'm taking an exam in Shiratorizawa soon."

"You're going to that high-class academy? I see, I failed to notice that because you don't look like one. Have fun clashing with other elites there."

"Elites? What are you talking about, you still believe there's such a hierarchy?" (Y/N) chuckled.

"There is though. A gap between them and mere humans in terms of skills and power."

"In the end, they're still humans though. Be it numbers, hard work, or some unique strategy, those 'mere humans' you say will always struggle to step on equal levels with those on the highest rank."

Tsukishima only hummed and stared down at her, "Perhaps I was wrong on assuming you're an elite. You're clearly not."

"Are you underestimating me?" She challenged.

"No, I was just saying. Can I ask something though?"

"What?"

"Why are you suddenly talkative?"

She was caught off guard but tried not to stutter, "Me? Talkative? I'm always like this."

"Really?" He raised his brows, totally not buying it.

"Ugh, fine! I'm tired of studying!" She sighed, "I was scribbling some doodles on my notebook because I'm bored so I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk to Mr. Beanpole in front of me. Forgive me and my awkward social skills."

"Your social skills are not bad. I'm just thankful you aren't using the precious ink of my pen for drawing." He said, stacking the books he used.

She gasped, panicked inside, "You aren't looking at my drawing, are you?"

He got up to return the books,"Don't worry, it's none of my business."

She exhaled in relief, spared from another memory of embarrassment. Her eyes followed his walking figure and watched his movements. She looked at her drawing to compare and used her fingers to define lighting. When Tsukishima got back and placed new reviewers on the table, (Y/N) asked him once more.

"Do you ever get tired of studying?"

"Sometimes I take a break, but I can only do that if I have finished everything."

"What a diligent student you are."

"I hardly see any benefit in being dumb and slacking off all the time."

"Eh, I hardly see any benefit in studying Algebra and Calculus. I have a lot of questions. Do you use derivatives in counting money or salary? Do you use trigonometry in dividing pizzas or corn chips? Why do I need to find the limit of a function if numbers are infinite? Why do I need to get the formula of a certain point in each line or curve I draw on the graphing paper? What is the correct answer for?" (Y/N) complained.

Tsukishima looked at her blankly, doubting her chances of passing the Shiratorizawa's board exam. "I couldn't argue with that, I'd rather read a book composed of words than formulas, but you don't have a choice. Although, if you plan to be an engineer or something, that'll be a different perspective."

"No, thanks, I won't eat math books for breakfast. Other subjects are interesting enough to keep me awake in class, but numbers don't really entertain me."

"Then, what do you do?" He asked, writing on his notes.

"Not much. I just draw, paint, listen to music, and watch anime."

He let out an amused hum, "How about you? What do you do other than to study?" (Y/N) asked.

"I play volleyball, listen to music, and read narrative books."

"Volleyball? So that's what your height is for! I thought it's just for cleaning and reaching high places."

"That's rude."

"If I am, what do you call yourself? Besides, I don't want to make wrong assumptions."

"You just did."

"...right. I'm sorry."

The sense of familiarity took over (Y/N)'s brain, telling her that she definitely had met this Tsukishima guy before. Her face scrunched a little, trying to search her memories and connect the dots. Her eyes found his face again.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" His eyes narrowed, his annoyance towards the girl slowly rising.

"I HAD met you somewhere... before that accident, where did I see you?"

He was about to say something when (Y/N) stopped him, "Shh, I'm thinking."

He crossed his arms and frowned at her. Volleyball, Amemaru MS... She was about to say it but Tsukishima spoke first.

"Were you one of the audience who watched the middle school volleyball inter-high a year ago?"

"I was! Wait, you remember?"

"That was the only place where I could find someone from Kitagawa Dai Ichi." He confirmed.

"Correct. I was a part of the school paper where I was assigned in the sports category. I took a picture of you when my senior was interviewing you! You were the tallest middle blocker in the games! How could I forget that! So that's why whenever you irk me, it was familiar!"

"How am I annoying you? Aren't you the one who kept on talking right now?"

"I've figured out that there's no kind bone in you. And the way you keep on stuffing the spikes from the opposite team. It was never-ending that they didn't have a chance to score properly." She pouted.

"What do you expect from a middle blocker? It was my job to block spikes."

"You could've gone easy on them."

"The game would lose it's sense if that's the case."

"Fine. You're not wrong." Their conversation was cut short after she ceased talking. At least she found out where she first met Tsukishima. She finished the portrait sketch. Grinning, she believed that she captured his features accurately in her drawing. She'd like to hold it near him and compare to make sure though. Satisfied with her work, she went back on turning pages.

"So, you've finally decided to continue to study?" Tsukishima prodded.

She smiled, "I guess. Thank you for talking to me. That was a great stop."

Both of them worked quietly, but now, the irritation they felt towards each other lessened. After some time, a person in the speaker announced that the library will be closing before 6 pm. Tsukishima returned all the books he borrowed and packed his things.

"You're going home?"

"I don't want to come home late. You aren't finished with your notes yet?"

"Yeah, maybe I'll leave five minutes before six."

"Alright. I'll get going now." He swung his bag over his shoulder.

"Hey, wait! Your pen!" (Y/N) abruptly remembered seconds after.

"I don't need it anymore. It was useful, apart from its close on running out of ink."

"But it's yours and you told me to keep my promise!"

"Whatever. Keep it or throw it." He walked out and wore his headphones, having no intention to listen to anyone.

She sighed and checked the ink. More than half of it is gone, but she can use it again if she wishes. (Y/N) placed her fist to her cheek while writing.

Random Tsukishima Kei facts:

In the second prototype chapter (unserialized, one shot, the first idea of the author on how haikyuu will go) Tsukishima was a second-year, which was changed in the serialized version where he's a first-year. His initial height in the prototype chapter is 184cm, a little shorter than his official height (190.1cm). In an extra sketch, Furudate commented, "Tsukki and Tanaka being in the same year would spell chaos!

©4aloysius.porteu.2021. please do not repost, copy, or edit. plagiarism is punishable by law. 

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 2/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 3

Hello Everyone! I hope you are all happy and healthy. Part 2 of my Junjin fanfic is finally up. Thank you so much to the beautiful and wonderful people who liked my fanfic. I am so sorry I have not been responding to your lovely comments. I had exams so I was really busy but I will get to them now. It took me a long time to post this next part because I wanted to finish both Part 2 and 3. I’ll be posting the other part too once I’ve proofread everything

As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC (which I haven’t checked in so long, I’m so sorry)  🙈 🙈

Please do be warned, this does get a little dark. But it will pay off in Part 3, I promise.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 13.5k

Rating: T

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the themes in this story are a little dark, specifically in section iii. Please be warned. I’ve added a summary for section iii in section iv so you can skip it if needed.

PART 2

i.

They both spoke at the same time.

“Ya Kang Sujin…”

“Ya Han Seojun…”

“What the hell happened?”

Seojun had been in a strange state of mind all day. First it was waking up in the enemy’s bed, but that part he had completely blocked out. Then it was the massive hangover, the effects of which he was still reeling from. On top of that he had received a scolding for being late to practice, which caused him to be late to his commercial shoot, which caused him to be late for his recording session which was when he had been informed about his scandal.

Seojun normally didn’t care for rumors that spread about him. He relied on his performance to speak for itself; the people online with their uninformed opinions didn’t matter.

“But why did it have to be her?!” He had groaned when he first read the articles. But then he asked himself seriously, “Why did it have to be her?”

It all seemed too convenient. Additionally, she had been the one to drag him for drinks and then back to her apartment.

Was this another one of her schemes? What would she gain from doing this? Maybe it was because he was on to her and could see the truth about her and now she wanted him gone. Yes, it must have been that. Or was it not? Was his theory too farfetched? Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he was misunderstanding the situation.

Seojun felt conflicted. On the one hand, it would have been so easy to just blame Sujin and keep on hating her like he wanted to. On the other hand, he could hear Suho in his head, warning him about being too judgmental. Seojun normally trusted his instincts with everything but this time his own instincts were confused. Should be giving Sujin the benefit of the doubt? 

Seojun knew that if he needed answers, he would need to go to the source.

“What the hell happened?” They both asked each other at the same time but neither had the answer.

“How the hell would I know? It was your apartment.”

“The pictures were obviously taken by someone was obsessed with you.” Sujin fumed.

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Then are you saying it’s mine?”

“I’m not the one who took us out drinking then brought me back home to her apartment!”

“I’m not the one with the crazy saesangs!”

“My fans are not crazy! They are way better than arrogant women with a princess complex like you!”

“Don’t call me princess.” Sujin said dangerously.

“Or what? You’ll get me drunk and back at your apartment again?”

“Ah shut up, you man-child!” Sujin hung up and Seojun flung his phone across the room where it bounced onto the couch. He was seething.

“Aish!” Seojun kicked the air.

“Did you talk to Sujin?” Heekyung’s calm voice startled Seojun.

“What? Oh, Noona.” Seojun gulped.

“How was she? Was she okay?”

“Umm…” Seojun blinked

“She must have been shaken. Facing something like this can be very upsetting.”

Seojun’s shoulders deflated. “Uh, yeah…” He hadn’t considered that.

“Did she agree to give a statement to help clear up this mess?”

Oh right, I was supposed to ask her…

Heekyung continued, “I do have good news. We’ve found the person who took the photographs. So he won’t be sharing them with anyone else.”

“You have?”

“Yes. It was unfortunate. A photographer happened to be there, just as you were leaving. He actually recognized you from your voice. Talk about having bad luck.”

Seojun frowned. So, it wasn’t Sujin.

“So will Sujin do it? We just need a simple statement. She can release a post on her socials and we’ll take care of the media articles.”

Seojun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Um, I don’t think she’ll agree.” . Especially not after the blaming match that just happened. “Can’t we just clarify things on our end? Not get her involved?”

Heekyung smiled with a twinkle in her eye, “Oh I get it. You don’t want her to feel burdened.”

Seojun could tell what she was implying. “Ah-nee! Its not that at all!” His voice was pitched a little too high.

Heekyung laughed, “I’ve been at this for longer than you, Seojun-ah. You can be straight with me.”

“It’s not like that! I don’t care about Kang Sujin at all!”

But Heekyung wasn’t listening. “Just be careful. Your career has just started. You can’t afford scandals like these. People will turn against you in an instant, you know?”

Seojun swallowed. He knew all too well how people could turn against him in an instant, like the way thy did with Seyeon. But he wanted to believe that he would be able to face them.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

Heekyung nodded. “Good. Now I’ll go tell our PR team to release a statement about you and Sujin being just friends.” Seojun nodded gratefully. “I think the fact that you went to school together will help. Hopefully people will buy it when you tell them nothing happened between you two.” Heekyung winked as she walked away.

“It’s not like that!” Seojun called after her.

ii.

The situation subsided as quickly as it had risen. Move Entertainment published their official statement about how it was all a misunderstanding. That Seojun had only been visiting his friend from high school and the fact that the friend was also a mutual with rising online beauty guru Lim Jukyung helped establish the connection. Seojun had been glad that Jukyung had taken those selfies with Sujin with Seojun in the background otherwise people might have just taken the statement as an excuse.

What annoyed Seojun about the whole situation was not his reputation or the online speculation but how everyone else kept teasing him about it. This was made especially worse when they were all gathered around for drinks, including his own squad, Chorong and Co., who were eyeing Sujin with a mixture of adoration—that made them stare at her, and fear—that kept them from talking to her.

“Ooh, Han Seojun you better not drink too much or you’ll end up in Sujin’s apartment again.” Taehoon teased. Seojun gave him the death glare while Sujin made a disgusted face. Everyone else laughed.

“Guys! Don’t be mean.” Jukyung’s voice went unheard among the collective chatter.

“Han Seojun, I can see you’ve been keeping a very close eye on Kang Sujin.” Chorong whispered in his ear. Seojun elbowed his ribs.

“Pay up, Sujin didn’t kill him.” Suho asked from Suah.

“You guys had a bet?” Sujin asked icily. Seojun almost admired the scathing look Sujin gave Suho as she eyed the money being exchanged.

Suho’s and Suah’s hands froze right when they were exchanging the bills.

“No?” Suho said weakly.

“Kang Su, I bet on you okay?” Suah defended.

“Ah is that so? Well then you’re off the hook.”

Suah relaxed while Suho blinked forty times, sweating. “Kang Sujin. It was just a joke okay?”

Sujin just put her hand forward and Suho silently put the money in her hands.

“Wah, just 5 dollars? I’m worth 5 million you know.”

“Sure you are. And I’m the King of England.” Seojun said under his breath. Kang Sujin and her princess complex.

“What was that?” Sujin put her hand to her ear, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the apology you owe me.”

“What apology? I owe you nothing.” Seojun retorted, fully aware that he had actually come to this gathering to apologize to Sujin about the scandal and how he had behaved over the phone. That plan had since been abandoned. 

For some reason, he could not spit out the three words ‘I am sorry’ to Kang Sujin. No matter how much he wanted to. There was just something about her that irritated him to the point of misbehavior.

Sujin clicked her tongue at Seojun but said nothing. Instead, reaching into her bag, she pulled out a notebook and a pen.

“Here, sign this.” She ordered, pushing the notebook and pen in his face.

“What is it?”

For Kang Sujin, the biggest issue from the scandal had not been the online noteriety and not even the teasing, but the fact that everyone in her office now knew that she was friends with an idol and had demanded that she get them his autographs.

“Its for my friends at work.”

“You have friends?” Seojun said with mock surprise.

“You know I was just as shocked to learn that you have actual fans. I always thought Suho was the one buying all your albums.” Sujin said.

“Of course I have fans! I am super popular you know!” Seojun defended, pulling the lapels of his jacket with pride.

“Yes I’m sure you’re veeeery popular.” Sujin’s words dripped with sarcasm. Seojun’s pride deflated like a balloon. “Just sign. And write something nice too.” She ordered. Seojun quietly picked up the notebook, not because he was nice but because he felt he owed her this much.

“You know my autographs are worth a lot of money, right?”

Sujin made a face. “Just sign the damn thing so that the girls at work stop harassing me about you.”

Seojun smiled as he signed. His fans were awesome. “How many?” He asked.

“Seven.”

He signed seven pages, each with a personalized note.

“Be nice to my fans at work.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Sure you are.” Seojun replied skeptically. He handed Sujin the notebook. “I better not find you selling these online.” He warned.

“I’d rather starve than live off of your autographs.” Sujin bit back.

“Okay, okay! No more fighting!” Jukyung pointed between the two. “Lets all enjoy our drinks in peace.” She looked pointedly at Sujin who pointed her chin at Seojun with a ‘he-started-it’ scowl.

“Han Seo, is it okay for you to meet us in public like this?” Suah asked. They weren’t in the usual private dining area that they frequented when it was just the core group of friends. They were out where everyone could see.

“We can always hang out at our place, if you want.” Suho offered. Seojun quickly shook his head. Seeing Suho and Jukyung together outside was one thing. Seeing how they lived together was quite another. Knowing they lived together was painful enough. He didn’t want even more fuel for his imagination.

“Its no trouble at all.” He put on a smile for Suho who seemed satisfied. But, to his surprise, he found Kang Sujin giving him a strange look. She chuckled to herself but said nothing.

As they all said their goodbyes, Seojun went out the back so that he could leave in privacy. He planned on taking the long route today. A bike ride would help him clear his mind.

“Han Seojun, wait up!”

He stopped just as he was about to put his helmet on. He was surprised to find Sujin there. 

“What? Need more autographs?” He asked, cockily smiling.

Sujin made a sickened expression. “Not at all. I just… I had something to say.” She hesitated.

“Well say it.”

She cleared her throat. “It was neither of our faults. The scandal. It wasn’t that it was my building or your fans. It was someone shitty who didn’t respect our privacy. That’s… that’s all I wanted to say.”

Sujin waited for his response. Seojun could feel his face burning. He should have been the one to say all this to her, and yet here she was apologizing to him instead.

“I’msorryforwhathappened.” He said too quickly and too quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Seojun shoved his helmet on to hide his embarrassed face. 

“Drive safe.” Sujin said.

“Yeah, whatever.” He rode away.

Kang Sujin was just glad she was able to spit out the words she had been meaning to say all night long. It had been weighing on her ever since they had spoken on the phone. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would try to be a nicer person and for the most part she had accomplished that. But that Han Seojun just had a way of bringing her old self back to the surface. And that bothered her.

It doesn’t matter, she told herself. She would learn how to get along with Han Seojun. It was only a matter of practice. And besides, it wasn’t as if she had to be overtly obvious about it. She just had to tolerate him.

For Jukyung. It’s for Jukyung. She would want us to get along, she lied to herself. The truth was, that Kang Sujin believed that she didn’t have a choice.

Everyone loved Han Seojun, even her best friends who had never paid much attention to him back in high school. It was all because Sujin had been absent for so long. She had missed a huge part of everyone’s lives while Han Seojun had been there for all of it.

Sujin wondered whether, if it came to choosing between her and Seojun, they would choose her. A part of her believed they wouldn’t.

She had made such a mess of things before and left things unresolved for too long. She was certain that things would never go back to the way they had been, not fully anyway. There would always be a part of them that wouldn’t trust her. And there would always be a part of her that would be heavy with guilt.   

“Ah-nee-ya.” She reassured herself. “I don’t need to worry about this.”

She was glad that the whole matter of being mistaken as Han Seojun’s girlfriend had been settled. She laughed at the very idea.

“Me and Han Seojun dating. Ah, how funny.”

Sujin had heard of horror stories about how such scandals ruined people’s lives and got them shunned by society. Thank fully, none of that had happened. Her precious peace was safe again.

Sujin could see her future now; a life where she worked hard at her non-profit, where she shared dinners and lunches with her friends and laughed about the old days, where she wasn’t told she wasn’t good enough, where she did what she wanted instead of being forced to do what her father wanted. Yes, Kang Sujin could see her like ahead—a life where she was finally happy.

iii.

At first Sujin thought she was being paranoid. But her co-workers seemed to be acting stand-offish with her, with some outright avoiding her. They weren’t replying to her as enthusiastically they used to and were having hushed conversations that immediately stopped when she approached them. They even made plans for lunch without including her.

“Is something wrong?” Sujin asked one of them.

“Not at all. Shall we get to work?” It sounded more like a snub than reassurance.

Sujin also felt the hairs on her neck rise from time to time, as if she could feel someone watching her. But when she turned around, everyone would look away.

Convincing herself that it was all in her head, Sujin ignored it and went on with her work.

But then it happened again at the convenience store. She heard her name being said in whispers behind her. When she turned, she found a couple of teenagers quickly putting away their phone. Despite the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, Sujin dismissed the incident and went home.

Normally after a long day at work, Sujin would throw her phone away, have dinner while watching TV, shower and go to sleep. But today had been strange and she was feeling out of sorts. She needed a distraction to help her calm down.

So, after a shower, she settled back on her couch with her dinner and her phone. Jukyung normally posted a new make-up tutorial by this day of the week. Sujin loved watching her transform herself from an ordinary looking girl to a stunning beauty, while explaining each step.

To Kang Sujin, Jukyung was an artist who used her face as a canvas. Sujin herself had learned a lot just from watching Jukyung. She was excited about what she would learn today.

Sujin dismissed the dozens of Instagram notifications on her phone. Suah was always tagging her and messaging her about some post or the other. Sujin would get to them later. As Sujin searched for Jukyung’s channel, her Instagram notifications kept dinging. She put it on mute and played the video.

This time, Jukyung was giving a tutorial on American style makeup and how it was different from Korean style. Sujin grinned all the way through the video as Jukyung talked through her tutorial. Sujin scrolled through the comments as she watched.

My beauty Queen! I love you!

I tried your winged liner look and was able to finally do it for myself. Thank you.

I use the exact same foundation but it doesn’t work for my skin. But looks great on you. <3

You didn’t mention the eyeliner you used here. Can you please add it in the description?

This is why I have trust issues. She looks like a completely different person. This is fraud.

Sujin frowned at the last comment. “She looks beautiful either way.” She said angrily aloud as she typed it in, punching the buttons as if she could punch the commentor. Sujin scrolled further.

Who else came here after reading the Soompi article?

This comment had a lot of likes and comments. Maybe Jukyung was getting famous enough to be reported by entertainment websites now. Sujin smiled proudly.

Lim Jukyung, yours is the best makeup channel here!

Saranghae unnie

I was so sad to learn that you were bullied as a kid. So glad that you’ve found success now.

Sujin swallowed thickly. It would always bother her to know that she had once exploited Jukyung’s past bullying for her own gain. The fact that she had once contributed to her bullying would always fuel Sujin’s self hatred. She was just glad that Jukyung had moved on from her past and had become confident in herself. And more so, had found a community online that adored her.

As Sujin scrolled down some more, she noticed that most of the comments were talking about how Jukyung was a survivor of bullying.

“Mwo-ya…”

Wow, I had no idea this girl was so brave. Bravo!!!

I’m a survivor of bullying too. Its nice to know I’m not alone.

I bet her bully is watching this now and regretting what they did.

I don’t watch makeup tutorials. Came here cuz of the bullying scandal. But stayed cuz she is so good.

The last comment made Sujin stop. “Bullying scandal?”

Sujin went to Naver and searched for scandals involving Lim Jukyung. The first few links were Jukyung’s most popular videos but beneath that were a slew of articles from slanderous gossip sites.

Girl from Han Seojun Scandal Turns Out to be a Bully

Online Star Lim Jukyung Gets Involved in Han Seojun Scandal

Han Seojun’s Alleged Girlfriend was a Bully in High School

“What?!” Sujin stood up on her feet in shock. With shaking hands, she went through the articles one by one. Somehow, someone had uncovered the post from her high school community page that had revealed what she had done to Jukyung. Except they had gotten their facts mixed up and had reported that Sujin had been the one to bully Lim Jukyung about her looks.

That girl is so despicable.

Han Seojun is hanging out with a girl like her? I can’t believe it. I actually used to like him.

I bet this girl seduced Oppa. Don’t dislike him!

I am so glad they’re not actually dating.

Her face is so evil. And she’s uglier than Lim Jukyung!

I bet Han Seojun was fooled by her. She feels like the type who uses her looks to manipulate men.

People like her should kill themselves.

Guys! I found her Inssa!

It really is her! This is authentic!

The room began to close in on Sujin. She immediately opened Instagram where her account was flooded with comments and direct messages from people either telling her to kill herself or threatening to kill her.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she would throw it up. She was equal parts shaken and angry. So many people were after her but she hated that these people felt they had a right to treat her this way.

Sujin opened up the messages on Instagram and began firing back to her haters, starting with the most recent messages.

Get off of my account before I report you.

No thanks, I’m not going to kill myself.

Threatening me will only get you sued.

You don’t have to follow me if you don’t like me.

“These assholes think they can bully me online? Well, they’ve got another thing coming.” Sujin growled through clenched teeth as she typed away with all her anger.

I did not bully her!

I made a mistake!

I apologized!

People immediately started responding.

You’re not even going to admit your mistake?

OMG! I can’t believe you actually replied!

Are you honestly defending what you did?

You can’t talk like that to me! I’m going to tell everyone you’re a total b****

How can you be so audacious after you bullied someone? Just kill yourself.

Do us all a favor and kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

KILL YOURSELF.

Sujin screamed in frustration and threw her phone away. It smashed into the wall and landed with a sickening thud. Her hands suddenly felt clammy. Clammy and sticky and sweaty and dirty, dirty, dirty. So dirty that they smelled.

She ran into the bathroom and furiously scrubbed her hands clean. Once, twice, three times. No matter how many times she washed or how hard she scrubbed, the dirty stench of the hate she had just received wouldn’t wash off.

Her hands became all red and felt raw and exposed. But she kept on washing till she ran out of soap. She fell to the floor, suddenly weak and exhausted. The cool tiles felt nice and it was then that she noticed how hot she felt.

Calm down. I have to calm down. She breathed in, then out. In, then out. She could hear her heart in her ears. Pounding and pounding. The walls were closing in. The messages on her Instagram suddenly had voices that shouted in her mind.

Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself.

A ringing broke through it all. First Sujin thought it was in her head but no, it was from the living room.

Her cellphone. Lim Jukyung was calling.

How could she face Jukyung? What would she say to her? Wouldn’t Jukyung say the same as everyone else?

Sujin cut the call. Notifications from Instagram were still coming in. She deactivated her account and deleted the app.

Lim Jukyung’s name lit up her phone again.

She turned it off and flopped down on her sofa, head pounding.

Her fragile little hope for a good life was now shattered completely. She could hear her father now. Hear him yell at her that she was useless, that she was pathetic, that she was stupid and inferior. Unable to beat even Lee Suho.

Kill yourself.

Her father had never told her this, but he might as well have. Even now it was his voice saying it over and over in her mind. It was his angry stare she felt on her back.

How would she face people now? People would hate her now that they knew what she had done. And her co-workers…. Of course they knew. That’s why everyone had been acting so strange.

This all felt so cruel and unfair. She had been so good these past couple of years. She didn’t want all of it to just be taken away like this.

But didn’t you do the same thing to Jukyung? Her father’s voice taunted. She was a good person too, wasn’t she? You’re nothing but a piece of trash.

I bet you think that you destroyed Lim Jukyung, Seojun’s voice said, but you’ve only destroyed yourself.

iv.

SUMMARY of iii: Because of the Han Seojun scandal, people find out about the community post that revealed what Sujin had done to Jukyung and people online start thinking that Sujin bullied Jukyung. They harrass her and it becomes a scandal of its own.

It was chaos at Move Entertainment.

“What the hell happened?! You told me you settled this!” The director threw a magazine in Heekyung’s face. Seojun saw this through the glass door and barged in.

“Is that how you treat your employees?” He demanded angrily.

“Get out. Get. Him. Out! Get him out of this company for good measure!”

Heekyung pushed Seojun out before he could do anything else, dragging him as far away as possible. “Don’t be an idiot. You can’t just barge in like that.”

“But he’s being an asshole. Should I just stand around and let you take it?”

“This is the adult world Han Seojun. Actions have consequences here.” Heekyung said reasonably. “And you’re the reason he’s so mad. A bullying scandal is serious. We’ve even publicly acknowledged that you and Sujin are friends. This doesn’t reflect well on you.”

“The articles are lying. Sujin didn’t bully Jukyung in high school. She just—”

“I know exactly what she did. You think I don’t know about what happened to my own sister?” For a brief moment, Heekyung’s professional demeanor slipped into anger. But she recovered quickly. “It infuriates me that my sister’s past is being brought up like this. But I have a job to do and I need you to cooperate with me. Okay?”

Seojun exhaled. “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing. The situation will sort itself out. You will need to keep a low profile, however.”

Seojun exhaled. “Noona, we need to set the record straight. Sujin is—”

“Sujin isn’t represented by Move, you are. None of us here can do anything about what is happening to her.”

Seojun clenched his jaw. “Have you seen what is being said about her?”

Heekyung looked away. “Its not like I enjoy saying this. I’m only telling you what I was told when I made the same request. She’s not represented by us. She’s not our concern.”

“Was Seyeon not your concern either?”

Heekyung had nothing to say to that. “I have to go back in. You stay here, arachi? Don’t do anything rash and…” she yanked Seojun’s phone from his hand.

“Ah!” Seojun tried to get it but Heekyung had the phone out of reach.

“I’m keeping this for now.” She said and left.

Seojun exclaimed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. Despite the animosity he had towards Kang Sujin, this kind of exposure to such vitriol online didn’t sit well with him. Kang Sujin deserved a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.

He knew Sujin was tough. But this kind of incident would make anyone crumble. He just hoped she didn’t do anything stupid.

v.

“Sujin-ah. Can you explain your side of things?”

Of course her office had heard about everything. Apparently her past misdeeds were a trending topic online. Her supervisor had called her in as soon as Sujin had shown up.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Her supervisor asked.

Sujin inhaled, “When I was in high school, I fell in love with a boy. But he had a girlfriend… she was a friend of mine. I got jealous… and petty. I published an unflattering video of her on our school’s online community. She had been bullied in her previous school because of her looks. So the video was especially traumatizing to her. I was responsible for what happened in Saebom High, but I wasn’t involved in anything that happened before that.”

Sujin looked at her hands, still red and raw, “I have made up with her since then. I’ve apologized. We’re both friends now. And I’m not a teenager anymore.”

Something stung Sujin’s hand. Water droplets? No, tears. She hadn’t noticed when she had started crying. But she kept her face straight even when the tears didn’t stop. She looked at her supervisor.

“I am ashamed of what I did. If I could take it all back… you have no idea what I would do to take it all back.” Sujin furiously wiped away her tears. She hated crying in front of anyone. “I love working here. I really do.”

Even as she was saying the words, she knew what was coming. Of course her company wouldn’t keep her on. Even non-profits couldn’t afford bad reputations and the fact that Move Entertainment had worked with her company for a lot of benefits hadn’t escaped her notice either.

“Sujin-ah.” Her co-worker said, peeking from the cubicle wall as Sujin packed up her things.

“What?”

“I never thanked you. For getting me Han Seojun’s signature.” The woman said meekly.

Sujin gave a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

The woman handed her a bunch of sticky notes. “These are goodbyes from everyone. We know you’re not getting a farewell party so we thought you should have our thoughts with you.”

Sujin looked down at the brightly colored notes that contained encouraging messages from some of her co-workers. Her dismissal had been so swift that she hadn’t even been given the chance to say anything.

“If its worth anything… I don’t believe any of it.”

Sujin smiled gratefully this time. “Thanks, Chulhee-yah. I appreciate it.”

vi.

Sujin was both grateful and surprised by how much her friends had reached out. Apparently they had showed up to her place multiple times to see if she was okay, given that she was not answering any of her calls. Sadly, Sujin had not been there to receive them. She had gone to her aunt’s place to get away from everything.

That had not proved to be a good idea.

“Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind!!” Each word was punctuated with a smack from a slipper. Her mother, the once elegant and graceful Mrs. Kang, chased her daughter around in the most inelegant and ungraceful manner. Mrs. Kang’s sister tried to save Sujin by stepping in between but Mrs. Kang still managed to get a few whacks in.

“How could you let a boy stay over at your place?!”

“Omma! That’s what you choose to focus on?!”

“Yes! How could you have disgraced your family this way? And not just any boy, an idol? What the hell were you doing with an idol? Come here.”

This was one fight Sujin would never win. Her mother was not a force of reason when she was this angry. And it took a lot for her to get this angry.

Sujin didn’t mind these smacks. They came from a place of love and worry. Eventually her mother calmed down enough to address the other issue with Sujin. She took her daughter in her arms and wailed.

“How could those people be so mean to my daughter?”

“Omma, I can’t breathe.” Her mother smushed Sujin to herself.

“My poor girl. My poor baby girl.”

In the end, Sujin was glad she had come back to her aunt’s place. It gave her the break she had needed. Away from all of the noise of her online haters, Sujin found she could finally breathe. She found great comfort in her mother’s arms and her aunt’s assurances her that everything would be fine.

However, the dread of returning to her normal life still loomed over her head. Sujin felt her throat close up every time she imagined going back to her apartment. Would the people point and laugh at her on the street? Would she be able to live a normal life from now on?

It was strange how deeply all of this had affected her. Even now, as Sujin walked from the grocery store to her aunt’s house, she felt the paranoia that people were talking about her, pointing and laughing, even though they weren’t. 

“Sujin-ah.”

And now it felt like they were actually calling out to her.

“Kang Su!”

Sujin turned in surprise, ready to fight whoever had called her. “Who is it?”

“Who do you think? It’s Jukyungie! ” A human mass known as Lim Jukyung ran towards Kang Sujin with arms wide open. The girls hugged each other tightly, Jukyung grinning with her gummy smile while Sujin stood, mouth open in shock.

Not far behind, were Suah and Taehoon.

“Ya Kang Su, at least answer your phone! Do you know how worried I was?” Suah scolded.

Sujin laughed, almost tearing up. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She had feared that her friends would turn away and curse at her after she had avoided them. But here they were, all gathered just for her.

“How’d you find me?” She asked the three. They all turned to Suho who stood there smiling.

“Hey Sujin. Have you been well?”

Of course, Suho knew where her aunt lived.

“What well? You all know what happened.” Sujin replied, not bothering to pretend that she was fine.

“Ya! What have you done to your hands.” Jukyung held up Sujin’s scabby hands with worry.

“It’ll heal.” Sujin smiled. Maybe it was the massive hug she had received, or the fact that her friends had traveled so far away to meet her, but suddenly, Sujin felt relieved. It was as if the entire situation was trivial and that she could see light at the end of the tunnel.

“Of course we know what happened.” Suho replied.

“And we know exactly how to fix it.” Jukyung grinned wider.

vii.

On the screen, in front of a ring light she had set up at her home, Lim Jukyung stood with a gummy smile and a warm welcome.

“Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. This is Lim Jukyung here with a new make up tutorial for all of my beautiful viewers. Uh, today I have a new kind of tutorial for you all. But before we begin, there is something that I think has been on all of our minds that needs to be addressed.”

Jukyung motioned to someone standing behind the camera to come forward. Kang Sujin entered the frame awkwardly, not knowing where exactly to look. The way Jukyung had set up her studio for this live event was to have the camera, the mirror with the ring light and her laptop screen facing her so that she could do her make up while also reading the comments. And while Jukyung was used to having all of this equipment focused on her, Sujin was not.

“Introduce yourself.” Jukyung said softly, nudging Sujin with her elbow.

“Ah, yes.” Sujin cleared her throat. “Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.” She waved robotically while staring in the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

Jukyung couldn’t help but laugh. “Ya, Kang Su, are you afraid of the camera?”

“Ah-neeeee, it’s just so unnatural.” Sujin quickly countered.

“Don’t worry, the camera doesn’t bite.” Jukyung put an arm around her friend’s waist. “Okay everyone now that my friend Kang Sujin is here we can talk about the recent—”

“Lim Ju, maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Sujin interrupted anxiously.

“Huh? But it’s already live.” Jukyung pointed at the camera.

“What?” Sujin on in panic.

Jukyung continued, “So everyone, as you all may have heard, Sujin and I went to the same high school together. However, before that I attended another high school where I was bullied for my looks. Sujin and I did not know each other back then and she had nothing to do with that part of my life so the allegations that she bullied me are completely false. That was another person and that person is no longer in my life.”

Sujin cut in, “However, it is true that I revealed Jukyung’s past to our school and posted an unflattering video of her online.”

Jukyung nodded, looking serious. “I won’t lie and say it was easy for me to have that happen. But… both of us have changed since then. We have grown up and grown past that time.”

The girls took each other’s hands in solidarity.

Jukyung continued, “I’m not the girl I used to be. Neither is Sujin. And while she did do something wrong… I’ve forgiven her. I would rather remember the good times we shared…” The time that Sujin caught that pervert, the time she helped rescue Jukyung from those kidnappers, the time she helped hide Jukyung’s bare face at the school trip. “There are things that I wish I had done differently too. I wish had been more confident in myself and honest about who I really was. I wish I had stood up for myself earlier. But the past is the past, and I would rather focus on the present.”

“Everyone, I am grateful for all of the love and support you showed to me. I know bullying isn’t something you get over easily and I saw a lot of you comment about the bullying that you suffered. I am grateful you shared your stories with me. I hope we can take this opportunity to help each other heal rather than put someone down.” Jukyung looked at Sujin. “Now you.”

Sujin recited nervously, “Ah. Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.”

Jukyung giggled. “We’ve done that already.”

“Oh, yes. Um… I uh…” Sujin took a pause to collect herself. “Let me be the first to say that I’m not a nice person—”

“Yah!” Jukyung protested but Sujin carried on.

“But I’m also not the girl who posted that video about her best friend, not anymore. At that time… I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. I have regretted doing that every single day since it happened. I am sorry. I understand everyone’s anger towards me. I would be angry too if I heard this about someone else. However, I hope that you all will be able to forgive me, as Jukyung has.”

Sujin ended her speech with an apologetic bow. Jukyung bowed with her. The girls then shared a tearful hug. From the back, Sujin saw Suho give her a thumbs up. Sujin sent him a smile back. The girls parted, wiping their tears.

“Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to the real reason why you are on here.” Jukyung clasped her hands together. “Sujin will be assisting me today.”

“Ah, yes.”

“So Kang Su, shall we bring out our model today?” Jukyung asked her with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

The girls nodded conspiratorially before turning to Suho who looked on, confused.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

viii.

“What is it? What are you laughing at?” Chorong asked Seojun as he leaned over his shoulder. They were at Chorong’s place where the boys were goofing off, playing video games and lounging about.

Seojun didn’t hear Chorong��s inquiry through his ear buds and kept on shaking with silent laughter.

“Hey, nobody said anything about me being in the video.” Suho was protesting on Seojun’s phone. Seojun turned up the volume to hear Suho’s annoyed grumbling more clearly. Of course, Seojun was going to make fun of Suho about this afterwards. 

“Just sit down, Lee Su, before I get mad.” Sujin commanded.

“That attitude of yours has never worked on me,” Suho replied coolly.

“Come on, Suho-ya. I do your makeup all the time don’t I? It’ll be fine. I promise.” Of course, when Jukyung said this, Suho melted like butter on a hot pan. Sujin rolled her eyes but it was clear that it wasn’t out of spite.

“Okay everyone! Let’s begin with the base and then we’ll work our way up! I am going to keep this look as natural as possible so that its not modifying anything but merely enhancing his features.” Jukyung pushed Suho’s bangs out of his forehead with a giant pink bow shaped clip. Seojun was quick to get a screen shot of it.

“What are Lee Suho and Kang Sujin doing on Jukyung’s channel?” Chorong asked in Seojun’s ear, shocking him. Seojun almost screamed in fear. He pushed away Chorong’s face to watch the video in peace.

In the live video, Jukyung was explaining the differences of applying make up on a guy’s face, versus a girl’s face.

“Sujin-ah. Why don’t you read some of the comments while I’m buffing in his foundation? You have to buff it in for a long time to make it appear natural.” Jukyung told her audience.

Sujin moved towards the camera, blocking Jukyung a little as she read off of her laptop. Her unfiltered face was front and center for the world to see. At this position it looked unflattering, which made Seojun chuckle even more.

Sujin read the comments in a robotic monotone, “Jukyung Unnie, I don’t usually watch make up tutorials. But after today I’m your number one fan.”

“Mwo-ya, this girl has no camera sense.” Seojun said to himself.

“Thank you! I’m your fan too,” Jukyung replied brightly.

“Your looks are always so classy and stylish.”

“Thank you! I’m glad you liked them. Let me know if there are any other looks you’d like to see.”

“Will you do a tutorial on how to wear red lipstick properly?”

“I’m actually planning on doing that soon!”

“Lim Jukyung, you are so beautiful. Marry me please!”

Suho got up to see the screen, “Who asked that?”

“Sit down!” Jukyung pulled him back as he grumbled. “Sorry,” Jukyung said to the camera, “but I’m taken.”

“Are you and Kang Sujin really friends now?” Sujin turned to Jukyung and all Seojun could see was her shiny black hair on screen.

“Dangyunhaji! In fact, if I wasn’t dating Suho, Kang Sujin would be my boyfriend.”

Seojun scoffed, “As if. It would have been me.”

On the live, Sujin laughed, “Is that so? We can still be together though. Have an affair behind Suho’s back.”

“Sure.” Jukyung said casually.

“Yah!” Suho protested.

Both girls giggled.

Suho looked miffed, “Kang Sujin, you’re blocking the view.” He said peevishly.

“Oh sorry. I’ll move.” Sujin circled around the couple to stand behind Jukyung and read the comments over her shoulder.

Jukyung read something on the screen and pointed it to Sujin, “Read that one.”

Sujin hesitantly read, “Kang Sujin, I’m sorry for judging you.” She looked up, “It’s okay. I can be harsh in my judgements too. The key is to try to learn from your past.” Sujin smiled at the camera before turning back to the screen.

“Kang Sujin, you’re pretty.” Sujin recited in her monotone voice. “Yes. I know.” She said without looking up.

“She is also super smart!” Jukyung gushed. “She was one of the top students in class.”

“Could never beat me though.” Suho said smugly, still sore about the affair comment. Both girls turned to Suho and stared. His mouth became small. “Sorry.”

Jukyung went back to explaining her tutorial, slowly performing each step as Suho patiently sat. She made his eyes look bigger and applied a natural lip tint to finish off.

Both girls couldn’t help but gawk at how good Suho look by the end. Jukyung removed the pink blow clip from his hair in a daze.

“How do I look?” He asked Jukyung.

“Too good, Lee Suho.” Sujin clapped. “Too good.”

Jukyung blushed but couldn’t articulate her thoughts. She stuttered, “Uh-ah! Let’s look at the c-c-comments again!”

Suho grinned.

“Lim Jukyung, you were amazing as always!” Sujin read aloud.

“Thank you.” Jukyung bowed.

“Watch the latest and best movies for free at—”

“Sujin that’s just spam.”

“Oh. Right.” Sujin continued, “Lee Suho looks prettier than the both of you.”

The girls’ face fell flat. Suho just looked innocently at the camera. The girls cleared their throats.

“Ah that’s all the time we have!”

“Ah, yes! Time to move on!”

The two pushed Suho out of the frame together.

“I can still be on camera if you—”

“No, I think the people have seen enough of you.” Sujin said while smiling widely at the camera.

Jukyung went wide eyed when she looked into her computer screen. “Ya! This live got 3.3 thousand comments!”

“Daebak. Good job Lim Ju!” The girls grinned, but then Sujin squinted her eyes disapprovingly at something on the screen. “Lim Jukyung, you look so ugly without makeup? Ya, who wrote this comment? User name KimChee23? Why don’t you show yourself to me and then we can see who’s really ugly?”

“Sujin-ah. It’s just a comment.” Jukyung tried to calm her.

“Comments matter too! Otherwise people wouldn’t be writing them! Ya KimChee23 where do you live?”

Seojun laughed out loud as he saw Jukyung try to calm Sujin down on screen.

“So, is everything all settled now?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“I think, yes. Just look at all the comments praising Sujin.”

He was right, the comments section was flooded with statements of Sujin being a brave person for apologizing and changing her bad behavior. 

“Great.” Chorong shook his friend’s shoulders. “Now you don’t have to be so troubled about Lim Jukyung.”

“Lim Jukyung? Why would I be troubled about her?”

Chorong was confused. He had not known about the scandal. The matter Chorong had been referring to was Seojun’s theory that Kang was apparently still after Lee Suho.

“I mean... haven’t you been in a bad mood all week because of her?”

“Why bother asking Chorong?” One of the boys said, “You know the answer to all of Seojun’s heartaches is Lim Jukyung.”

Seojun didn’t bother responding. He returned to his phone screen where Jukyung and Kang Sujin were wrapping up the live, waving at the camera with wide smiles. Suho was trying to get back in the frame and Sujin kept pushing his out of it.

“Ooh. Look at how Han Seojun is smiling.”

“Something good must have happened.”

“See! He’s always thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

“No I’m not!” Seojun protested. Quietly, he admitted. “I wasn’t thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

ix.

Han Seojun had arrived at Kang Sujin’s building an hour ago, but for the life of him he could not muster the courage to go up to her apartment.

“I have no reason to see her. So, why should I?” He argued with himself. He paced back and forth, going up the entrance and then going back again, unable to enter.

In his hands, Han Seojun held a beautiful arrangement of white tulips and yellow roses. White tulips as an apology and yellow roses as an offering of friendship. It was his way of apologizing for being a jerk.

After hearing everything she had said on the live event, Seojun had no doubt that Kang Sujin wasn’t who he thought she was. Certainly, if Jukyung and even Suho could trust her, then he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time to try to make amends with flowers. But now that he was actually here, at her home, he felt stupid.

What would Kang Sujin say when he showed up at her place? Would she laugh at him and tell him to go to hell? Would she be offended that he just showed up, unannounced? The uncertainly of it all made him anxious.

As he went back down the steps to the building entrance for the thousandth time, Seojun bumped into a lady.

“Oh ma’am. I’m so sorry!”

The woman had been carrying tote bags with plastic containers of food in them. The bags had fallen to the ground but luckily, the containers and the food inside them were unharmed, just a little shaken.

Seojun looked at the woman with an apologetic face. She appeared to be a very dignified lady, as old as his mother. Her hair was up in a chic bun and she wore well fitted, albeit a little worn out, clothes. Her brows were crinkled in disapproval. But upon seeing Seojun, her face softened.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” Seojun asked and his humble words spoken in that rich baritone subsided the woman’s irritation further to the point where she smiled.

“Omo, how can someone be so handsome?”

Seojun beamed. Elders had always loved him. “Ah, thank you.” He responded shyly. “Let me help you carry these.” He took the heavy bags from her, putting the flowers under his arm, careful not to smush them.

“Oh no. I don’t want to bother.”

“It’s no bother at all, ma’am. I insist.” He didn’t let the woman say another word, walking past her into the building. The woman smiled and followed.

“Are you going to visit your girlfriend?” The woman asked, eyeing the flowers.

“A friend. A friend who is a girl.”

“Is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?”

“Ah-nee-heyo. It’s not like that.”

The woman just smiled knowingly. “I’m going to visit a special girl too. My daughter lives in this building.”

They entered the elevator. Seojun asked which floor the woman wanted to go to. “Oh, I’m going to the same floor. Maybe my friend knows your daughter.”

“I’m sure she does. My daughter is a wonderful girl.”

When the lady walked in the same direction as Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh. My friend lives this way too. What a coincidence. They might live right next to each other.”

“Then you should come over with your friend. I will cook for you.”

And when the woman stood in front of Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh, this is my friend’s apartment. Are they roommates?”

“Young man, is your friend’s name Kang Sujin?”

“Yes, ma’am. How did you know?” Seojun asked, surprised.

The lady patted Seojun’s face, “At least you have good looks.” She punched in Sujin’s passcode and went in. Han Seojun stood outside for a full minute before he connected the dots. And then his eyes went wide.

“Sujin isn’t home yet. Why don’t you wait inside?” Mrs. Kang called out.

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Kang. I didn’t recognize you.” Seojun entered, placing the bags on Sujin’s counter.

“It’s okay, Son. You’ve known Sujin long?”

“I went to Sujin’s school. I knew her through Lee Suho.” He had only seen Sujin’s mother a couple of times at school. But never up close. She had seemed so stuck up like Sujin at the time; with her fur coats and expensive jewelry. Now she seemed like just another lady. Her appearance seemed to have humbled after the divorce.

“Oh Suho! Lovely child. How is he these days? Sujin doesn’t tell me anything.”

“He’s good ma’am.”

Mrs. Kang started lining the containers on the counter. It seemed like too much food for one person.

“Sujinnie never eats properly. She always scolds me for worrying but what can I do? She never takes care of herself.”

Indeed, when Mrs. Kang opened Sujin’s fridge, it was empty save a few water bottles and expired milk that Mrs. Kang threw away.

“And look at you! All skin and bones! It is unfashionable to be healthy these days?”

It was a complaint he had heard from his mother as well. But Seojun had to maintain a lean figure for his job, as he was about to explain to Mrs. Kang.

“Ma’am I actually have to diet beca—”

“I won’t hear it! Sit. I will get you something to eat. I’ve brought more than enough.” Mrs. Kang commanded. Seojun could see where Sujin got her tough exterior from.

“I don’t want to be a bother…”

“Nonesense! It’s no bother at all. Especially not for,” she eyed the bouquet Seojun had placed on the counter, “Sujin’s friend.”

Seojun wanted to protest Mrs. Kang’s assumptions but figured that denying it would only reinforce the idea. He would let Sujin clear up the matter.

“Well if you’re going to cook Mrs. Kang, you might as well let me help.” Seojun often cooked with his mother and was used to being in the kitchen so his culinary prowess impressed Mrs. Kang greatly.

“Your mother must be so proud of you.” Seojun grinned at the compliment. He decided that he liked Mrs. Kang.

Likewise, Mrs. Kang decided that she liked Seojun. She put the flowers he had brought in a vase and brought it to the table. As they cooked, she went on and on about Sujin and her many accomplishments. The woman was very proud of her daughter.

Seojun listened diligently as Mrs. Kang explained how much she was worried about Sujin. The non-profit sector didn’t exactly offer a lucrative career. Not as much being a doctor would have.

“I remember how much she had wanted to be a doctor as a child. Omma, I want to heal everyone, she would tell me. But when her father started pushing her and pushing her… suddenly it was all about ranking number 1, not helping people and her heart just wasn’t in it anymore.” Mrs. Kang lamented. She gave Seojun a considering look. “Has she told you… about her father?”

About the divorce? “Yes. I know.”

Mrs. Kang looked at him tenderly, “You must really be close to my daughter then. She’s a very private girl.”

Seojun didn’t understand why the woman as acting like it was some secret. Everyone knew about Mr. and Mrs. Kang’s separation.

The woman stared into the distance. “If I look back, I can only blame myself. I should have stopped it the first day her father started hitting her. But I was blind. I believed that it would all stop if she got good grades and got into a good university. My husband was always a tough man, but had never been like that to me, you see. I didn’t realize what he was doing to Sujin till it was too late.”

Seojun froze. He felt he had been told something he wasn’t supposed to know.

“And then, she started taking her anger out on other people… it might have been late, but I finally put my foot down. I’m glad my girl is in a better place now.”

Mrs. Kang looked down in remorse. Seojun found it hard to keep looking at her. He suddenly recalled what Sujin had said in Jukyung’s video.

I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. 

Ah, crap. Seojun thought.

“My daughter is a sensitive girl, despite how strong she appears. I just want to know that she is with people who will care for her, and not hurt her.” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun meaningfully. He swallowed.

“She is Mrs. Kang. You don’t have to worry.”

The woman pressed his hands gratefully. “You must have heard… about what Sujin was involved in recently.”

Seojun was sure he was going to die today. His heart felt like guilt had wrapped its sharp claws around it and was squeezing tightly.

“Ah. Yes.”

“Don’t believe any of it! My Sujinnie isn’t that kind of girl”

“Ah. Yes.”

“She did go a little astray in school, but what kid doesn’t go through a phase like that? Show me a teenager who has never made a mistake!”

“You’re absolutely right ma’am.” Was all Seojun could say.

“If only I could get my hands on that Han Seojun.” Seojun felt his heart stop. It was then that he realized that he never really introduced himself to Mrs. Kang. “How dare that no good idol take advantage of my daughter? Ah-nee, what kind of a person stays over a girl’s place like that? And doesn’t even help when she gets into trouble because of him?”

Seojun could see his funeral now, his mother crying for him as his friends lined up to regret their loss.

Guys… take care. Please check on my mother for me.

The door chimed as Sujin entered. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Han Seojun and her mother sitting at a table full of food, waiting for her.

“Ah, Omma why have you come all this way again? Do you really like tiring yourself out so much?” Sujin scolded as she hurriedly put on her indoor slippers.

“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mrs. Kang scolded back.

Sujin was undeterred. “You know I can always come and visit you and Auntie. Why do you have to come here? And look at all this food! How is this okay for one person? It always goes bad and then I have to throw it out.”

“It goes bad because you don’t eat enough, bad girl! You see what I have to deal with?” Mrs. Kang turned to Seojun who had gone white.

“Ya Han Seojun, what are you doing here?” Sujin asked him.

There was a second of silence where no one spoke. A pin drop could be heard.

“Han Seojun?” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun. On stage, with makeup on, Seojun looked different. Here, in person, it was difficult to recognize him. But now that his name had been spoken, Mrs. Kang could see the young man whose face had been plastered all over the articles concerning Sujin.

“You… you’re the Han Seojun from the scandal?”

Sujin quickly caught on. “Seojun. Run.”

And then all hell exploded, or rather, one Mrs. Kang. Sujin jumped in her mother’s path as the woman got up with a slipper in her hand. Han Seojun lept off his chair and bowed furiously.

“I am so sorry Mrs. Kang. I am so sorry for all the trouble caused!”

Sujin desperately tried to block her mother’s blows but Mrs. Kang was a formidable woman. She smacked Han Seojun with her slipper.

“Do. You. Have. Any idea. What. Problems. You. Caused!” She punctuated each word with a smack. Seojun, for his part, did not run but rather took it like a man. He was just glad she was beating him with a slipper and not a heel.

“Run! Why aren’t you running?” Sujin asked him as she tried to grab her mother’s wrists.

“Are you protecting him? After everything that happened?”

“I’m really sorry Mrs. Kang.” Seojun said.

“Sorry? What good will an apology do? Will an apology undo the pain you’ve caused?” Her words sounded eerily familiar.

“Ah Omma, stop hitting him! He didn’t do anything. It was my fault. It was all my idea.”

Mrs. Kang stopped. “What?”

And thus, it became Kang Sujin’s turn to be given the mom-smack down.

“Ah Omma WAEEEE??”

“It was your idea to bring him home?!”

“Omma you’ve already beaten me about that!”

“I haven’t beaten you enough.”

“Mrs. Kang please! We were both drunk. Sujin had no choice but to—”

“What?” Mrs. Kang went ballistic.

Sujin glared at Seojun, “Han Seojun do you actually want us both to die?”

“YOU WERE DRUNK?!”

“Omma it wasn’t like that!”

“Mrs. Kang it really wasn’t.” Seojun chimed in.

“If it wasn’t then why is he bringing you flowers? Why is he showing up at your place?”

Sujin looked at the tulips and roses on her table. White tulips, a flower of regret. And yellow roses, flowers of friendship. Sujin knew exactly what they meant. She wondered if Han Seojun knew too or if he just got really lucky with his choices.

It was a while before Mrs. Kang calmed down. Seojun felt thoroughly sore. Both he and Sujin sat on the floor with guilty expressions on their faces, looking like school children being punished.

“Get out. I don’t want to see the likes of your around my daughter ever again.”

“Omma.”

Seojun bowed his head to the ground. “I am really sorry Mrs. Kang. I’m really sorry for all of the trouble that I’ve caused. I assure you I will never let anything like that happen again.”

Mrs. Kang crossed her arms and looked away.

“Omma. Neither of us had any idea that something like this would happen. Its not Seojun’s fault. And besides, he got into trouble too.” Sujin nudged him with her elbow.

“Yes, ma’am. I was almost kicked out of my company.” Which wasn’t exactly true but Seojun didn’t mind fibbing a little.

“You should have been!” Mrs. Kang fumed but then softened when she saw Seojun’s best puppy dog face. Han Seojun was always good with ladies, especially ones that were mad at him.

He inched closer to Mrs. Kang. “Mrs. Kang. I’m really regretful about what Sujin faced.” He took her hands in his. Sujin watched in astonishment as Han Seojun turned her mother’s boiling anger to a low simmer. “But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.”

Mrs. Kang cleared her throat.

“And look, the food we both prepared has gotten all cold. Wouldn’t it be better if we all eat and talk calmly?”

Sujin scoffed, not only at the blatant pandering but at the fact that it was working. Mrs. Kang’s anger all but disappeared. It came to a point that as they all ate, she began taking his side.

“How could you risk an idol’s reputation like that?” She asked Sujin who could only roll her eyes.

“Omma, how can you say that?”

“I mean, now that I think about it, it isn’t Seojun’s fault that his fans came after you.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this.” Sujin scowled.

As dumb as Han Seojun had appeared, Sujin had to admit this was pretty shrewd. It made her wonder what else she had misjudged him on. He even got himself invited by Mrs. Kang to come by again for dinner.

“Your mom is incredible.” Seojun told Sujin as they walked to the convenience store. Mrs. Hand had sent them out for some ice-cream since she had brought nothing for dessert.

“She’s changed a lot after the divorce. She’s more herself now.”

They walked slowly, enjoying the night air and the silence. Oddly enough the quiet didn’t feel awkward or strange. Neither of them felt any pressure to speak. They got papico, the ice-cream that came in squishy bottles, and sat by on the benches outside.

“Kang Sujin,” Seojun began, “about what happened… are you… You know when I, um… I guess what I’m trying to say is…”

Sujin laughed, a clear gurgle of joy that made Seojun feel strange in his stomach. “Mwo-ya? Has the great Han Seojun been rendered speechless?” She laughed some more and Seojun didn’t stop her. “Relax Han Seojun. I’m fine.”

Seojun looked at his feet. “I… wasn’t happy with what happened to do… with the articles and how everybody was talking about you.”

“Gwenchana. It’s over now. I mean I had to make another Instagram account but all in all, its not as bad now. Besides,” she tilted her chin, “do you think a bunch of cowards who hide behind usernames are enough to take me down? I’m Kang Sujin, remember? Badass of Saebom High.”

“I thought I was the badass of Saebom high.” Seojun raised a brow.

“You were the gangster.” Sujin grinned, eating her ice-cream.

“I’m glad you’re tough. You don’t let these things bother you.”

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. People telling me that I’m the worst and I should die wasn’t exactly easy.” She said grimly. “But you know what upset me the most?”

“What?”

“That I couldn’t beat those cowards up for saying what they did.” Sujin got up and punched the air. “If I could just get my hands on those twerps then I would teach them a lesson or two.” She punched the air.

The fire in Sujin’s eyes was so comical that Seojun burst out laughing.

“Don’t laugh! Hajima! I’m not joking.”

“Kang Sujin, were you always such a fighter?”

“Yup!” Sujin stated simply. She sat back besides Seojun, closer this time. And he noticed. “What about you?” She asked. “How are you doing?”

Seojun leaned back leisurely, “Eh, I’m fine. I don’t worry about public perception anyway. The people who matter will know me. Everyone else is just noise.”

“I bet your fans would leave you in a second.” Sujin teased.

“Don’t diss my fans. They’re all cool and awesome.”

“What, all two of them? Do they also happen to be named Jukyung and Suho?”

“You’re forgetting Chorong.”

The two giggled.

“Did your co-workers ask for more autographs?”

“Nope. Got fired before they could.”

“What?” Seojun stood up. Sujin relayed how her company had let her go after details about her past misconduct were released online.

“How could they just fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“Calm down. It’s normal for that to happen.”

“How can you be so calm?”

“Would you rather I get angry? There’s no point in doing that. I won’t get that job back.”

Seojun pressed his lips together in a tight line and sat back down.

“I’m surprised that you’re actually defending me.” Sujin sounded impressed.

“I mean… its wrong. Even if you and I don’t get along, what’s wrong is wrong.”

Sujin chuckled. She looked at the time on her phone. “I should get back. How are you getting home?”

“I brought my bike.”

“Your company lets you ride motorbikes?”

“Nope.” Seojun grinned.

“A’ight. Good night, Han Seojun. Stay safe.” Sujin walked back in the direction of the apartment. Feeling light and happy. While her online image hadn’t completely recovered, her relationship with Han Seojun had. She might not have to simply tolerate his presence now. They might genuinely get along.

“Kang Sujin!” Han Seojun called out to her, the woman who he thought was vile and destructive. The person that turned wasn’t that woman. It was the little girl who had looked to her father with love but only got his abuse in return.

“I’m sorry I misjudged you.” Seojun told the little girl.

The girl smiled. “I’m sorry I misjudged you too.”

x.

It was unfamiliar territory, getting along with Kang Sujin. More for the group than Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. They all looked at the pair in wonder and shock when Sujin asked Seojun to pass the soy sauce and he obliged. It shocked them further when Sujin laughed when Seojun bragged about being recognized at a department store and being asked for pictures.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Jukyung asked Sujin quietly.

“Yeah, why?” Sujin replied.

“Nothing. Just asking.”

“Hey, what’s up with you?” Suho asked Seojun privately.

“What?”

“You’re acting all weird around Kang Sujin.”

“Weird how?”

“You’re being nice.”

“Am I not supposed to be?”

“Okay! Who’s going to go first?” Taehoon asked the room, interrupting Suho and Seojun’s conversation. 

They were at Suho’s apartment where he had a karaoke machine set up. Seojun had finally relented to visiting their place and it was just as painful as he had thought it would be. It was a mishmash to Jukyung’s bright and lively style with Suho’s dark and moody one.

The posters of rock bands and Junji Itou’s mangas were something both of them shared. It was fascinating how the two of the most caring people in Seojun’s life were into such dark things. Seojun saw Sujin eye one of the horror comic book posters suspiciously, as if the monster drawn in them could come out any second.

Chorong sang first, sharing a duet with his girlfriend. Then Taehoon and Suah went next. Duets seemed to be the theme of the night. Jukyung and Suho went next.

“Alright? Who else?”

Sujin was the only girl left.

“Well I’m not going up there.” She said when everyone looked at her. She eyed the other boys, all of whom were terrified of her. Even they could still hear Kang Sujin saying Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

“Jukyung-ah. Sing with me.” Sujin grabbed Jukyung’s hand and led her up before she could say anything.

“I’m singing too!” Suah joined.

Seojun went next. His was a solo and he clearly was the best performer. His rich baritone singing in a soft melody made everyone pay attention.

“Isn’t it nice to have an idol as a friend?” Suah asked. “Its like having a private concert.” Jukyung and Sujin nodded in agreement.

Everyone swayed their heads to the beat, except for Kang Sujin who was noticing the lyrics Han Seojun was singing.

I want to give you all of my days

I want to tell you all these feelings of mine

The sleepless blue winds

Brightly light up this night

He was singing about Lim Jukyung. Sujin looked over to her friend, who was looking longingly in Suho’s eyes. The two were entranced with each other, not noticing Han Seojun who stood just a couple of feet away, pouring his heart out.

After all the fun had been wrapped up, Seojun and Sujin had been the only two to stay back. Sujin had helped Jukyung clean up while Suho went to throw out the trash.

As Sujin cleaned the dishes, Seojun sat in the living room, looking at all of the pictures Jukyung and Suho had hung up. He could see how Suho and Jukyung would sit on the very couch he was on and watch TV together or lie around reading books.

He tried to replay those images, with himself there with Jukyung instead of Suho but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to himself about who she belonged to.

“You know, Han Seojun, I just realized something.” Sujin called from the kitchen.

“What?”

“You have two hands.”

Seojun looked at her like she had lost her mind. “Wow, Kang Sherlock. Your powers of deduction amaze me.”

“So, since you have those two hands, and you’re a gentleman, why not help me out over here? I assume you would feel bad that I’m the only one doing any actual cleaning.”

“You assume incorrectly. I have no issues with you doing all the cleaning.” Seojun turned back to the TV and was promptly hit in the head with a dish rag.

“Oops.” Sujin said flatly.

Seojun got up, dish rag in hand. Wordlessly, he took out the dishes from the washer and lined them up in the cabinets.

“Aren’t you ever afraid that Jukyung will be uncomfortable about you singing love songs to her?” Sujin asked in a low voice.

“What do you mean?”

“That song you sang. My heart is full of you, I’m starting to take after you?”

Seojun eyed her. “She won’t know.”

“I did.”

“Yeah but, you’re you and Jukyung’s Jukyung.”

“So?”

“So…” Seojun leaned closer, “you ranked number two in class for a reason.”

“Sujin-ah! I told you I would take care of everything.” Jukyung appeared from her bedroom.

“Don’t worry about it. Han Seojun helped.” Sujin assured.

The pair said their goodbyes to the couple and exited together. Han Seojun said nothing when he started walking his own way, while Kang Sujin turned to wave at him but was unseen. He was too lost in his own broken heart to notice anyone or anything.

She simply sighed, took it as just a Han Seojun thing and started walking in the other direction.

xi.

“I still can’t get used to this.” Suah said, waving a spoon between Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. The two sat opposite each other and were eating their food peacefully.

It was this peace that bothered Suah.

“I mean, how can you two just get along?”

“We’re adults Choi Su. We can learn how to get along.” Sujin stated.

Suho spluttered in laughter. “I thought you said that Seojun was a giant baby with no manners?”

Seojun gave Sujin a scathing look. Sujin went pink, “I never said that! You take that back!”

“It’s still strange.” Suah leaned closer. “What happened? Have you guys settled your differences?”

“Han Seojun got Sujin flowers.” Suho said cheekily.

“Yah!” Seojun protested. But it was in vain, the deed was done, and everyone oohed and aahed at this news.

“Did you really get her flowers?”

“Wait, when did this happen?”

“Does that mean that Seojun apologized first?”

“What kind of flowers?”

Seojun looked at Suho with the rage of a thousand suns. Suho just grinned back.

“Aren’t flowers romantic?”

“Ya! There was nothing romantic about it. All I got her were yellow roses and white tulips.” Seojun defended.

“OoooOoooh. Roooses. Roses are totally romantic.” Taehoon teased.

“They were yellow. Yellow roses are for friendship!”

“So, are you two friends?” Jukyung asked and everyone looked at Seojun and Sujin.

“Meh.” They both shrugged at the same time.

“Omo! Look at how in sync they are!”

“We are not.” They both said in sync.

Seojun had to admit, their group gatherings were much more comfortable now that he and Sujin had cleared the air between them. He enjoyed discovering how Sujin was less the ice princess he had thought her to be and more a regular girl. She also turned out to be much cooler than he had expected.

She had been the only one to see his discomfort when Jukyung and Suho suggested they all go on an overnight trip with them. Going to see their apartment; the very proof that Lim Jukyung and Lee Suho ate and slept—Oh God, don’t think about them sleeping—together was painful enough. Seojun didn’t need to see them canoodling for an entire weekend.

“What about it guys? Shall we go?” Jukyung looked around as everyone nodded excitedly, including Sujin.

But then her eye’s met Seojun’s. He said nothing but he didn’t need to.

“Lim Ju, it’ll be difficult for me to join. I just lost my job, remember? An overnight trip is...” Seojun knew Sujin was just making up an excuse.

“Oh, oh right. Sorry Kang Su-ya. I totally forgot. Something else then!”

The group moved on to discussing other options. Seojun sent Sujin a grateful look. She acted nonchalant, as if she had not just overturned everyone’s plans for him.

“Thanks. For what you did back in there.” He told her as they were all leaving.

“Forget about it.” She waved a hand in dismissal.

The next time the group gathered at a fancier restaurant than usual. A suggestion by Suho who had offered to pay for the food tonight.

“This place is so beautiful.” Suah commented looking around the interior.

“Are we celebrating something?” Sujin asked. “This doesn’t seem like a regular get-together.”

Sujin had only asked for the sake of asking. But something about the way Suho looked at her told Seojun that she was on to something.

“Well,” Jukyung held up her hand, “we do have something to announce.”

And announce she did. The big fat diamond resting on her ring finger had a lot to say. And suddenly everyone erupted with joy. The girls took Jukyung in their arms, squealing and crying with joy. The boys surrounded Suho, patting him on the back, congratulating him.

All except Seojun, who just sat there in a daze. Sujin happened to look over and see him, frozen in his seat. Sujin wasn’t alone in her observation. Taehoon also noticed but missed the implication.

“Look! Han Seojun is actually so shocked he—"

Sujin made it look like an accident, her bumping into the table and sending a glass down on the floor, shattering into a million pieces. The sound shook Seojun out of his daze and also distracted everyone from realizing Seojun’s inner turmoil.

“Oh shit.” Sujin said looking down.

“Hey, be careful.” Jukyung said.

“You okay?” Suho asked Jukyung, taking her arm.

“Excuse me, can we get someone to clean this up?” Taehoon asked the waiter.

The fuss over the broken glass gave Seojun enough time to recover. He then congratulated Suho with a massive hug.

“You both deserve each other. I mean it.” He told Suho and he meant it.

Maintaining a fake smile over dinner was easy. Everyone else was so chatty that Seojun’s and Sujin’s relative silence went unnoticed. Suah pestered Jukyung for details: “How did it happen?”, “When?”, “Why didn’t you call me immediately?”. Taehoon made jokes about marriage being the end of romance to which Suah started an argument with him and then it became about settling matters between the two.

Sujin didn’t remember much of what happened after that, the rest of the night was a blur. She just hoped that she had maintained enough dignity to not appear as bitter as she actually felt.

Even though they all parted very late in the night, Sujin couldn’t go directly home. She needed something to ease the pain. So naturally, she went to the nearest tent bar she could find. The place seemed to be overcrowded, with people waiting outside for others to leave. Sujin managed to sneak in and grab a table.

She downed half of a soju bottle in one go but then couldn’t muster the energy to drink further. Her side dishes went untouched. All Sujin could do was stare and wonder if there was any way to just take her heart out of her chest and throw it away. Because there seemed to be no relief from this pain she was feeling.

She banged her head on the table. “Ah wae? Why can’t I just move on?” She asked herself in frustration.

“Ugh, why the hell are you here?” That irritated tone and deep voice could only belong to one person. And indeed, when Sujin looked up she saw Han Seojun a few tables over looking at her in disdain.

“Wae? You have a claim on this place?” Sujin raised a critical brow.

“And what if I do?”

“Then give me everything for free. Since we’re friends who get along.”

“No. Friends pay double.”

“How stingy.” Sujin took another shot of soju.

The man running the tent bar came over. “Why don’t you two share a table since you know each other? I have customers waiting to be seated.”

“No way, I’m not sitting with her.” Seojun grumbled.

“Aha! I knew it! Being all nice to me was just an act.”

The owner ignored Sujin, “How can two youngsters be so rude? Get up! I’m moving you over there.”

This was how Han Seojun came to drink with Kang Sujin for the second time. They both looked at each other with scowling faces.

“What happened, Kang Sujin? You were acting all happy for the lucky couple.” Seojun taunted. He seemed a little tipsy but so was Sujin.

“Of course, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy.” She said wistfully.

Seojun scoffed. “Is that why you were whining about not being able to move on? I thought you said you didn’t like Lee Suho anymore.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “I don’t. And even if I allegedly did, at least I held it all in. You were clearly about to run away with Jukyung before I saved you.”

“Saved me? Puh-lease.”

“Why? Do you think that glass fell on its own?”

Seojun gave her a sideways look before taking another shot.

“You gonna eat that?” He pointed a chin to her plate.

“Nah, have it.”

They sat in silence for a moment. A comfortable silence where neither felt compelled to say anything.

Sujin shook Seojun when she suddenly smacked her glass down on the table. “I’m over Lee Suho.” She declared. “I’m over Lee Suho… but…”

“Just because you’re over him, doesn’t mean you stopped loving him.” Seojun said what she was thinking.

She looked at him, her pain evident on her face. In that moment, he let himself be vulnerable too.  

“Isn’t it funny? Out of everyone I know, you’re the only one who gets… this.” Sujin said.

Seojun chuckled. “Exactly. Who woulda thought? Kang Sujin and Han Seojun having something in common.”

“You know it’s gonna hurt even worse from now on, right? We’re the closest to those two. That means we’ll be involved in everything.”

Seojun rubbed his faced. “I can’t think about that right now. Or I really will die.”

Sujin understood what he meant. “You know what I want?”

“What?”

“I want Suho to never find out that I still like him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I can’t help that I feel this way right? You can’t stop yourself from feeling what you feel. But… I wanna keep my dignity. I wanna still be cool and… not be seen as some pathetic loser who’s still after her best friend’s boyfriend.”

Seojun took a shot, nodding.

Sujin leaned forward. “That’s why, I suggest we help each other out.”

Seojun gave her a look. “How so?”

“Well, if we see the other being too transparent, then we stop them, or at least take the attention away so that the other can collect themselves.”

“Like the broken glass today?”

“Like the broken glass today. And if it’s getting too painful, then we can just talk about it.”

Seojun laughed. “Kang Sujin, offering therapy. That’s rich.”

“Not therapy. Friendship. It helps if you talk about stuff like this.” Sujin insisted.

Seojun gave her a considering look. “What’s in it for me? These seem like things you want to do.”

“You’ll be able to attend Jukyung’s wedding without feeling like you’re dying on the inside.”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen.”

“You’re right, there isn’t. But at least that’s what it’ll look like. Think about it Han Seojun. Do you want Jukyung to always see you as the friend who is in love with her? Or do you want her to see you as a cool friend who she can comfortably rely on, without wondering if she’s hurting his feelings.”

Seojun thought about it. It felt like a bad idea. But there was a part of Han Seojun that was tired of his own attachment to Lim Jukyung. If it meant that it would help him move on, then he was willing to try anything

“Alright, Kang Sujin.” He raised his glass. Sujin clinked hers with his. “Let’s try this.”

I am bad at making memes but I do it any way

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

(Un)Wanted: Part 2

Read on Ao3 

(Un)Wanted Masterlist

A child that sees demons in every dark corner is not a child that is wanted.

A child that cries and freezes and mumbles of terrible things is not a child that is wanted.

A child that jumps and startles and hisses is not a child that is wanted.

Unwanted things are purged from the Earth.

So Virgil runs.

In other words: Virgil is an outcast, ostracized and shunned for how he was born, forced to flee an angry mob only to stumble right into a fae garden.

Pairings: LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Warnings: Implied/Referenced torture, child abuse, and self-harm, nothing super explicit. Sympathetic Deceit and Remus. Panic attacks, anxiety attacks.

Word Count: 10,227

Mortals have always been fascinating creatures for Patton.

They have so many…quaint little ideas about what they can do about things and such interesting ways of thinking about it. Some of them believe that they float in this strange grey area, using that to defend choices that harm or hurt other people. Some of them believe they were sent here with a purpose and they must fulfill it. Some of them don’t think at all.

 It’s fascinating, but then…when your life is confined to a mere century, Patton supposes everything must seem so…heavy.

 A shriek interrupts his thinking and he barely has time to step aside before a blast of magic swirls past him.

“Watch where you’re pointing that thing!” He puts his hands on his hips. “Now, who threw that?”

 He rolls his eyes fondly when the prince and the duke point at each other.

 “Kiddos, not that I don’t appreciate your enthusiasm,” he says, creating a quick shield between them and the portal so anymore, um, ‘misfires’ don’t accidentally get through, “but do you even know what you’re doing?”

 “You ask as if they ever know what they’re doing,” L mutters.

 “Oh, please,” the prince huffs, “I am always in complete control.”

“Falsehood.”

 “That’s right,” the duke grins, “sometimes it’s my turn.”

 “We are not making the mortal live at the bottom of the lake!” The prince smacks his forehead with his hand. “The furniture would be absolutely positively destroyed!”

 “And mortals cannot breathe underwater.”

 “That too!”

 “Ugh, you guys are so boring,” the duke huffs, “that’s the point! Then no one else would be able to get him! Plus,” he adds with a grin, “we could have so much more fun.”

 “I find it highly unlikely that the mortal’s definition of ‘fun’ and your definition have significant overlap,” L says.

 “Well, then we’ll just have to change that.” The duke claps. “The bottom of the lake it is!”

 “It is not!”

 “Is too!”

 Patton and L quickly step back as the twins start squabbling again. L shakes his head disparagingly as the prince summons a sword. “We aren’t going to let them do this, are we?”

 “No,” Patton agrees, “but they’ve got a point.”

 “Well, the prince does make an effort to sharpen his blade on a regular schedule.” When Patton opens his mouth to clarify, L continues. “But I do not believe we have a grasp of how to create a residence for a mortal either.”

 “I know.” Patton absentmindedly rubs his wrists, still feeling the aftershocks of the visions pushed into their bond.

 It hurt. It had burned in a way that nothing ever had for a long time. And for a fae, that can be a very long time indeed.

 Dropping his work to clutch at his chest, hunched over from the weight of what he’d felt had been agony on its own, and he’d dashed out to find the others, needing to know what hurts, what happened, please, tell me so I can fix it, only to find none of them, fearing the worst. Having to walk into the garden to see the others already huddled around a mortal—a mortal, the duke wrapped around them with everything but the tentacles. Having to be the one to say no, his own heart tearing to pieces with every word he utters, the feeling of the mortal trembling in his hold, the tension and fear brimming off of their skin, almost burning Patton’s hands. Feeling the horrible sick rush of terror when the other animals bumbled into the forest.

 Hearing just what they thought of V.

 After that, well…Patton hadn’t cared much about the rules anymore.

 And honestly, considering who it was that pushed the visions in the first place, Patton’s not sure he ever stood much of a chance.

 But one of the things about breaking the rules is that, well, there are no rules. There are no guidelines now, no strict set of things to follow. And when it comes to mortals, that can be almost as dangerous.

 “Look out!”

 “Wait, shit—“

 “Pat!”

 Patton blinks and suddenly the others are tackling him out of the way of another errant magic blast. As his brain desperately tries to connect the path from standing to being on the floor, L scowls.

 “You two need to stop,” he says sternly, “we only have a few minutes before V comes through and if he sees this, it’s likely he will not wish to remain.”

 “Sorry,” the prince murmurs, helping everyone up, “and sorry to you too, Duke.”

 “Eh,” the duke says, brushing himself off, “we’ve done worse.”

 “Yes,” L mumbles, “yes, you have.”

 “L,” Patton says once everyone’s righted themselves, “did you manage to get a good grasp of the place?”

 L nods. “It seems to be the small village in the northwest corner of the forest. The population is around two hundred. It is…unlikely that the land holds any significant powers.”

 “Hmph,” the prince grumbles, lifting his hand obediently, “such a lack of creativity.”

 In front of them, a village forms. Several houses line a small street, each with a slightly different size and shape. Behind them are ramshackle sheds, worn fences, and in the middle, a slightly larger building. Patton isn’t sure what the mortals use this one for, but it is considerably…shinier than the others.

 “I suppose it is quite…” L struggles for the right word. “…plain.”

 “That’s one way of putting it,” the duke sniffs, “where are you supposed to do anything?”

 “Now, kiddos,” Patton says, “this isn’t about what we want, it’s about what V wants.”

 “And you think he wants something blander than a piece of dead wood?”

 “Hey!” The duke smacks the prince upside the head. “Dead wood is great, thank you very much.”

 “I said blander than a piece of dead wood, you bumbling buffoon.”

 “It’s what he’s used to,” Patton says quickly before they can dissolve into another squabble, “it’s better to go slow, right?”

 “We have already seen that V can be overwhelmed very easily,” L agrees, “it might be best to…start blander.”

 “Fine.”

 And not a moment too soon, it seems, because the portal begins to glow. Patton turns around to see V step through, followed closely by J.

 “Glad you made it, kiddo,” Patton smiles, “we’ve been waiting for you!”

 His eyes widen and his chest clenches when V’s body seizes with terror and he freezes, still halfway out of the portal. J nudges him gently and V whimpers, wrapping his arms tightly around himself and baring his teeth in a snarl.

 “Hey, hey, kiddo,” Patton murmurs quickly, starting towards him, only to freeze when V shrinks back, “okay, okay, I’m stopping. I’m right here, okay? I’m not gonna get any closer.”

 He crouches down, keeping his hands raised, feeling the others adopt similar positions of surrender. V’s gaze is still fixed on the houses, his body seemingly torn between wanting to turn and flee and never wanting to move again. Patton’s heart clenches when V’s breaths start to get faster and faster, the air whining in protest as it whips in and out of his lungs.

 “V,” J murmurs, “V, listen to me.”

 V’s head barely jerks.

 “Come on, little one, just listen to me, you can close your eyes if you have to.”

 Patton watches, a strange cocktail of relief and envy as J bends closer, whispering into V’s ear too low for the rest of them to possibly hear, one of his hands hovering just over V’s opposite shoulder. V’s eyes squeeze shut and slowly, slowly, he relaxes, his chin dropping to his chest. J continues to murmur soft words until finally V draws in a deep, slow breath and his arms finally loosen their death grip.

 J looks at V with such a look of concern that it makes Patton wince in sympathy, only soothed when V gives him a tight nod. J straightens, still hovering protectively around V, and turns his attention to the others, the soft look of worry quickly morphing into stone.

 “Explain.”

 “We attempted to recreate the village,” L says, “in order to…not overwhelm V so quickly.”

 J glances down at V then back up. “Yes, and I can see that worked out stunningly.”

 “I don’t understand.” L looks back and forth between the village and the still-shaken V. “If…if the environment is familiar, it should elicit feelings of comfort.”

 “Oh, no,” Patton murmurs, closing his eyes for a moment, “I messed up.”

 “Don’t worry,” the prince says quickly, “it’s okay, we’ll—we’ll figure it out.”

 “I think I understand.” Patton opens his eyes and looks up at V. “You thought this was a trick, didn’t you? That we’d pretended to take you in and then…brought you back.”

 The very idea coils hot and heavy in his gut, settling there like a horrible sickly weight. It only draws itself deeper when V nods, his mouth drawn tight.

 “What?” The prince’s cry shakes Patton’s core. “Why would—“

 Patton holds up a hand, cutting him off, even though he can feel the anguish of the others burning through the bond. Even J isn’t immune; the hand on V’s shoulder flexes in the glove and he steps a little closer.

 “And even if we didn’t,” Patton says brokenly, “even if we didn’t you—these…the only feelings you have about this place aren’t good ones.”

 V lowers his head in shame, his fingers flexing in the fabric of his tunic. The urge to run and wrap him up in a tight embrace makes Patton’s limbs tremble.

 “Get rid of it.”

 “What?”

 “Get rid of it,” Patton murmurs firmly to the prince, “bring us back to the field.”

 “N-no!”

 Patton’s eyes widen in surprise, and judging by J’s confused head tilt, he’s not the only one. Yet there V is, staring at him with a fierce look of determination, fire burning in his gaze despite the way he’s still curled around himself.

 “…’no,’ kiddo?”

 Patton knows he’s made another mistake the instant V’s eyes widen again. “W-wait, I didn’t mean—you don’t—that was a s-suggestion, not a—I didn’t mean to—I don’t want—“

 V’s hands shoot to his hair, tangling in the strands and pulling.

 “I didn’t mean to tell you what to do,” he manages finally, “please don’t be angry.”

  Oh, kiddo…

 “V,” Patton calls softly, “kiddo, we’re not angry.”

 He smiles kindly when V peeks out at him from a little gap in his fingers. “Y-you’re not?”

 “No, V, we’re not angry.” Patton places one hand flat against his chest. “You have my word.”

 It seems to do the trick, though not nearly as well as he would’ve liked. V’s hands slowly inch away from his face, twisting themselves back into his tunic. Patton smiles encouragingly.

 “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he assures, “I’m just a little curious why you didn’t want the village gone. If it’s…if it’s bothering you, then…”

 Patton shrugs. “Wouldn’t it be better?”

 “But you already…made it,” V mumbles, “so…”

 The prince huffs. “Please. It took barely a moment. I do hope you don’t think so lowly of my skills, sweetheart.”

 The corner of V’s mouth tugs up and oh, it’s the best thing Patton’s seen all day!

 “It’s no trouble,” the prince assures, “plus…I must confess I am not a fan. I mean honestly, the utter lack of craftsmanship, it’s truly astonishing.”

 “The point of this,” L says, making V look at him, “was to create somewhere you would feel more comfortable. This place—“ he gestures around— “was not exactly designed for mortals.”

 “But we shouldn’t have tried to anticipate what you want,” Patton adds, “and so there’s nothing wrong with getting rid of the village.”

 “Y-you mean this one…right?”

 “Well,” the duke mutters darkly. Patton can’t find it in his heart to scold him more than half-heartedly.

 “P-please don’t,” V stammers, “I…”

 “We won’t,” Patton assures, far more concerned about making V feel comfortable than any sort of retribution—however rightly deserved—for the denizens of the village.

 “Even if the duke does have a point, little mouse.”

 Patton glances exasperatedly at J, only to be met with an expression of innocent bewilderment. He raises an eyebrow. J simply shrugs. Patton’s gaze gets caught by V, still shifting a little and sending quick glances at the village.

  More pressing matters.

 “V,” he murmurs, smiling again when V’s gaze jumps to his, “is it alright if I come a little closer?”

 J’s brow quirks as V stiffens.

 “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

 V doesn't move, still wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

 “I’m sorry I scared you, that we scared you with this,” he continues, looking behind him to see agreeing nods from the others. He looks back to see V’s gaze losing a little of its frenzied edge. He smiles and gives a little wave. “Hey there.”

 V doesn’t wave back or smile, but he doesn’t flinch either. Patton takes that as a good sign.

 “You’re allowed to say no, V,” he assures, “that’s okay too.”

 Nothing. Patton’s gaze flicks to J and J nods.

 “What about this,” Patton says softly, “why don’t I move real slow, just a little, just so you can see how it feels, and then we go from there?”

 V nods.

 “I’m stepping a little closer, okay?” V lets him move a step closer. He crouches down again, keeping his hands in sight, still a good few feet away. “How are you doing, kiddo?”

 Patton laughs when V’s able to convey his annoyance with the question with a subtle change of expression. “Okay, so, bad question. Can I…” He hesitates. “Can come a little closer? Is that okay?”

 V nods carefully. “Y-you can—“ He cuts himself off.

 “Say it,” Patton coaxes, “go on, V, you can say it.”

 “You can…come all the way over,” V mumbles, “i-if you want.”

 Patton fights down the urge to jump up and race over, instead confining himself to a small smile.

 “Okay. I’m going to stand up and walk over to you. I’ll go slow so I won’t scare you. Okay?” V nods. “Okay. I’m going to stand up now.”

 He keeps his hands raised and slowly stands up, keeping himself slightly hunched over to make himself seem like less of a threat. To his dismay, but not his surprise, it isn’t very effective. Even hunched over, Patton still looms quite large, his shadow blocking the light from the forest. When he notices V flinching, he stops, letting him get used to the fact that he’s standing now.

 “Easy, easy, it’s okay.” He keeps up the constant litany of reassurances until he reaches V, carefully positioning himself so that V can look at him, just him, and not the village. It seems to do the trick, interrupting whatever feedback loop kept darting V’s gaze around the buildings, instead directing it at the various patched on Patton’s cloak.

 “You’re doing great, kiddo,” Patton murmurs, “thank you for letting me come over.”

 V shuffles again, sniffing and dropping his head. A moment later his shoulders shake and Patton can’t help the wounded noise that escapes his throat. J isn’t much better off, sliding neatly behind V to prevent anything from getting through the portal, even though they both know nothing will touch this one ever again.

 “Sweetheart,” Patton says softly, “oh, sweetie, are…is this still too much?”

 “S-sorry.”

 “Don’t apologize, sweetie, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

 “And please,” L calls, “do not be ashamed of crying. It is the mortal way of handling anything overwhelming, you need not feel embarrassed about dealing with it in a healthy way.”

 “Told you,” J murmurs.

 “Can I touch you, sweetie,” Patton asks softly, “can I touch you?”

 V nods shakily and Patton reaches out, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Here you are. Shh, you’re okay.” He moves his hand from her shoulder to his cheeks, wiping away a tear as it rolls down. “I’m here, it’s okay.”

 V hiccups a sob, barely stifled. Each one settles like a dead weight in his chest as V’s chin drives deeper and deeper into his chest.

 “You’re going to hurt yourself,” Patton says, gently cupping V’s chin in his hand and raising it, only to be dismayed to see his eyes glazed over and each breath sending him hurtling towards another panic attack. He takes his hands and places them on either side of V’s face, turning his head so he makes eye contact with him. “Hey, hey. Look at me, kiddo. Breathe.”

 The forest is quiet.

 “Shh, that’s it, just breathe for me.” He slides his hands down from V’s face to his neck, giving him a little less restriction.

 “Good job,” he murmurs, smiling at V as he begins to go limp. “Come here.”

 He coaxes V into his arms, letting his head fall against his collar as he shifts back to support his weight. He’s so…there. Not just in his body, a physical weight, but there’s such a layer of feeling that surrounds him that it presses down on Patton like another weight. He relaxes into Patton’s grip as he guides V to rest comfortably against him. He rubs V’s arms when he shivers, frowning at how cold he is. Steadying V with his hands and glancing up at J, he balances V against him before pulling away enough to shrug off his cloak, hushing him when V lets out a tiny whine. “Shh, kiddo, I’m not going anywhere. He’ll keep you upright.”

 He wriggles out of his cloak and drapes it carefully over V’s shoulders, smiling as it draws a sigh out of him and he shrinks under it. Wrapping his arms back around V, Patton lays his chin on top of V’s head and concentrates, trying to feel around for the sources of the fear and pull them away. V tucks his head against Patton’s collarbone. A damp patch grows on Patton’s shirt as he rocks V gently back and forth, shushing his cries.

 “Shh, don’t worry kiddo, we’re here for you,” he murmurs, “it’s okay.”

 He closes his eyes. Concentrates.

  There.

 “What are these,” he whispers, mostly to himself but to V as well, “these awful little things that are buzzing around you?”

 They really are awful. They’re these fuzzy little black things that hurt if you stare at them too long, always vibrating, strobing at horrible frequencies that create a sort of whine in the back of your ears. On their own, they really aren’t so bad, at least when he can catch one of them by itself, but V…

 V has thousands.

 Thousands of horrible black whiny clouds buzzing around his head, around his whole body, swallowing him in a storm. Patton’s seen them before, not nearly to this quantity mind you, but he has seen them, flitting about behind mortals. Wretched little beasties.

 “Are these…fears?” He freezes one in place, watching as it squirms in place. “Worries?”

  Concentrate.

 The cloud whines and dissolves. V’s breath catches.

 “There’s no need for these,” Patton murmurs, catching another one and dissolving it, “you have no use for them.”

 One by one he catches them, and one by one he makes them stop hurting V. They don’t want to go; they cling to each other, to V, to him in protest, yowling about whatever they want V to be so desperately afraid of, and it never makes Patton bat an eye. They’re hurting V, that’s all that matters. And Patton doesn’t like seeing V hurt.

 With each one he vanishes, V grows lighter and lighter in his arms, his sobs trailing off until his breath evens, only hitching ever so slightly. When he’s finished, V pulls away, looking up at him with wide eyes.

 “W-what did you do?”

 Patton smiles, gently giving V a squeeze. “Just cleaned you up a bit, kiddo.”

 “H-how?”

 “I can sense emotions and feelings,” Patton explains, “it’s kinda my job.”

 “…you’re the Heart.”

 “I am, good job.” He bumps his forehead lightly against V’s. “That means I can sense things that you feel and…help you along.”

 V chews on his lip. “…but I’m still scared.”

 “Oh, kiddo, I can’t fix that sort of thing. Well, I can, but that’s…invasive,” Patton says, “and I’d run the risk of hurting you more. No, no, I didn’t do anything like that. I’m not trying to take your feelings away. I just…”

 He brushes a thumb tenderly across V’s cheek.

 “…dusted you off a little.”

 The fluffy little bubble of relief that drifts along the path his thumb leaves is enough to make his whole chest glow.

 “Feel better?”

 “Yeah,” V mumbles, “um…thank you.”

 Patton kisses his forehead. “Of course, kiddo. Now…can we talk about what just happened?”

 V tenses.

 “You can say no,” J reminds.

 “…no, please?”

 Patton nods. “Okay. Can I then ask you something?”

 V nods, shifting a little in Patton’s grip. Patton opens his arms a little, enough for V to know if he wants to pull away he can, if he doesn’t, he needn’t. V takes a step back, wrapping his arms around himself.

 “We wanted to make the village for you so that you would have somewhere you wanted to stay,” he says softly, “and it’s okay that we got it wrong. Could you tell us what you do want?”

 “I’d be happy to make it,” the prince calls from over his shoulder—right, he’d somehow forgotten the others were still here— “just say the word.”

 “Me too!”

 “You guys,” V mumbles, “are the weirdest fucking fae I’ve ever heard of.”

 Patton giggles. “Thanks, kiddo. That’s an honor.”

 “…is it?”

 Patton softens, waiting for V to look at him to smile kindly. “It isn’t bad to be different or weird, sweetie.”

 “…oh.”

 “So,” the prince calls cheerfully, “what will it be? Castle? Tower? Cavernous ballrooms?”

 “Prince,” L chides lightly.

 “Take your time,” Patton soothes when V’s eyes blink vacantly, “you take all the time you need kiddo, to tell us what you want.”

 And oh, the unsure look on V’s face breaks his heart all over again. He looks so lost, like he’s been confronted with something he can’t hope to understand.

 “It’s alright if you don’t know,” he says softly, “it’s a lot to ask. But if it would be easier, you can tell us what you don’t want.”

 “…I don’t want to go back,” V mumbles, “please don’t make me go back.”

 “We won’t,” Patton promises, “we won’t.”

 Sure enough, by the time he’s stepped aside and turned around, the village is gone.

 The prince waves his hand again, dimming the natural light of the forest to something more tolerable for mortal eyes. Patton smiles. He does prefer their forest to any manufactured illusions, the prince or the duke make, if simply because it feels so alive.

 V seems to relax a little bit too; when Patton looks back, V’s shoulders aren’t pressed up against his ears anymore, his gaze tracing the little sparks of light that flit between the flowering trees. One of them flickers closer, darting past his face quickly, only for him to tentatively try and reach for it.

 “…what is this?”

 “It’s the forest, V,” Patton says softly, “this is where we live.”

 “How is it so…” V seems to struggle for the word he wants. “…alive?”

 “Magic,” the prince says with a wink. “No, really. That’s…that’s it.”

 “But it’s so…so…” V mutters in frustration. “I hate words.”

 “You’re not the only one, little mouse,” J murmurs, his hand still lingering on V’s shoulder, “words can be…difficult. You don’t have to use them if you don’t want to.”

 “That being said,” Patton says quickly, “you don’t have to be afraid to say things, kiddo. We won’t get mad.”

 V nods hesitantly. “Wait, so you all live here?”

 “Yep.”

 “H-how does that work? Do you, like…have separate…trees?”

 The duke immediately perks up. “I told you guys we should make treehouses!”

 “You have a treehouse,” L sighs, “that doesn’t mean the rest of us want one.”

 “Why not? It’s so much easier to defend!”

 “Only when we can’t fly.”

 “You guys can fly?” Patton hears V mumble to J. “What is going on?”

 “The others are getting excited again,” he hears J murmur back, “but I’m sure if you’d like to just ask Pat, we’d be happy to tell you.”

 Patton gives L a look that says ‘try not to let them destroy everything, please,’ and turns back to V, gently asking if he’d repeat his question.

 “We have different…rooms,” he decides on eventually, “even though they’re not as simple as your mortal conception of them. It’s more like…like…”

 Patton huffs, putting his hands on his hips. “Wow, words really are hard.”

 “Here here,” V mumbles.

 “Let me try,” J says softly, “it’s as if you have a picture, yes? And the picture is drawn over several sheets of paper. You can only view the complete picture by stacking all of them on top of each other, but you can take each piece of paper separately.”

 Patton blinks at him. V does too. J rolls his eyes. “Perhaps L would be able to explain it better. And quickly,” he says, glancing over Patton’s shoulder, it looks like they’re about to start fighting again.”

 “Guys!” Patton chooses to ignore the duke tucking a rather large weapon behind his back. “How do we explain how our rooms work?”

 L adjusts his glasses and holds out his hand. “V? Will you come here, please?”

 V hesitates.

 “I won’t hurt you,” L assures, “I won’t even touch you if you don’t want. I simply think this will be the best way to explain it.”

 “You’re not—you won’t—you won’t just take me there, will you?”

 L smiles at V’s nervous question. “You have my word I won’t.”

 V crosses the forest slowly, stopping just in front of L’s outstretched hand. Slowly, L raises his hand to face his palm toward V. “Can you hold your hand up to mine, please?”

 “W-what’re you going to do to me?”

 “Not a thing,” L says softly, “I’m going to explain how the rooms work by cycling through different layers of reality by aligning our hands.”

 Patton watches V slowly raise his hand to match L’s, smiling at how he presses his palm to L’s firmly.

 “Now,” L says, “just hold it still for me?” V nods. “Good. Reality as you understand it is one layer. It is one of the multiple worlds that exist in the same space. In this forest, we can move between them.”

 “How?”

 “Each one of us—“ L gestures to the other fae— “are linked with one of the layers. By drawing on that power, we can move between them.”

 L turns his hand slightly, his index finger pressing up against V’s middle finger. “This would be a different layer.”

 He turns it again, replacing his index finger with his thumb. “And this, another.”

 “S-so,” V murmurs, squinting at their hands, “which one is this?”

 “It’s not quite as…linear as this example,” L says, “there isn’t a set ‘right’ layer, nor must you travel through the other layers to get to the one you want.”

 “But then—“

 “Go on,” L encourages when V cuts himself off, “then…?”

 V swallows, his voice so low Patton has to strain to hear it. “Then how do I know which one’s the right one?”

 J tenses beside Patton at the uncertainty in V’s voice.

 “There isn’t a universal ‘right’ one, V, and there won’t be,” L says, quickly shushing V when he seems to react poorly to such a revelation, “but you don’t have to think of it that way.”

 Judging by the defiant hunch of V’s shoulders, he isn’t pleased by this answer. L seems to realize that and takes a tiny step closer.

 “V? Can you do something else for me?”

 V nods.

 “Interlace your fingers with mine.”

 V raises his head, confused, but does as L asks.

 “This,” L murmurs, indicating their hands, “is the layer we’re currently in. Your layer. The mortal layer. This is the one that will be most comfortable for you. You can go to the other layers, but it won’t always be as comfortable. That doesn’t mean you can’t go,” he assures quickly, “but if it helps, this one is the ‘right’ one, so to speak.”

 V stares at their clasped hands, giving L’s hand an experimental squeeze. L squeezes back.

 “C-can I see your rooms?”

 “Of course,” L says, “but perhaps not today, hm? This has already been a lot for you, hasn’t it?”

 V nods nervously. “S-sorry.”

 “Don’t fret,” L soothes, giving V’s hand one last squeeze, “we’re not angry. It’s perfectly understandable.”

 “Absolutely.” Patton glances around. Hmm…what’s the best way to do this? “Are you hungry, V?”

 Another nervous nod.

 “What kind of food do you like?”

 “Maybe not that question,” J murmurs when V seems to stutter again.

 L gently gets V’s attention. “When was the last time you ate?” When V can’t answer, he continues. “Your system won’t take well to eating large quantities of food right now, in that case. It would be better if you ate something small, easy on yourself, and then work up to larger meals, does that sound alright?”

 “Why don’t we do this, then,” Patton suggests when V nods, “J, you and the duke and I will start on the food. L, Prince, why don’t you help V make his room?”

 L gently takes V’s hand again, leading him toward the prince. The prince gives them a nod before speaking softly to V. Patton sinks into his room, only to lean on the nearest surface and sigh heavily.

 “Why are we not killing them?”

 “By all means,” J huffs, “do knock over absolutely everything, Duke.”

 “They starved him, they tortured him, they made him afraid of everything,” the duke growls, “they made him dependent on the sense of right and wrong.”

 “Yes, and right now you’re currently about to be dependent on your ability to not knock over everything.”

 “Pat agrees with me,” the duke defends, “don’t you Pat?”

 Patton busies himself with making a simple bread. Easy, like L said, nothing that will cause V’s system to freak out. He keeps his mouth closed because he knows if he opens it, he won’t be able to stop himself going feral either.

 “Of course I agree,” he says quietly after the bread’s almost done, “but I want to take care of V more than I want to raze that village to the ground.”

 “But—!”

 “Patton’s right,” J interrupts, “V wants everything to stop. If we go out and do that, it could make him even worse.”

 “Or it could make him better!”

 “We can’t afford to take that risk,” Patton says, kneading the bread with perhaps slightly more force than necessary, “especially not with a mortal.”

 The duke grumbles. “I don’t like this.”

 “I know.” Patton dusts his hands off. “Neither do we.”

 “If it’s any consolation,” J says, smirking, “I think it’s the first time V’s had anyone be so outraged at the thought of him hurt.”

 “Well,” the duke huffs, “good. I’m not stopping.”

 “I have no intention of asking you to.”

 “Good.”

 “Good.”

 Patton chuckles, rolling his eyes fondly. “Enough, you two.”

 “You need help?” The duke grins. “Get it? Knead?”

 “No, I dough-n’t,” Patton replies as J groans, “I’m all good here, kiddo. Thanks for asking though.”

 J eyes the small loaf of bread and the few fruits next to it. “Is that really all we’re going to give him?”

 “I’m going to make sure the food is available, but…” Patton sighs. “L’s right. You know he is. Too much and…”

 J fiddles with his gloves. “I don’t like this.”

 “Join the fucking club,” the duke huffs, draping himself over J’s shoulders. “We gotta wait here until Princey and L’re done with him, right?”

Patton nods.

 “Great. Help me think of more ways to fuck up the assholes who did this to V.”

 “Duke!”

 Luckily for everyone, not a few moments later, a door appears to Patton’s left along with three quick knocks.

 “Come in?”

 The door opens, revealing L and the prince, leading V into Patton’s ‘room.’ V looks around, spotting the duke still draped over J.

 “Oh, they do that all the time,” the prince says, “you’ll get used to it.”

 “You say as if you don’t do it as well, bro,” the duke sings.

 “Did you get everything set up, V?” Patton asks quietly, ignoring the others.

 V nods. “Thank you.”

 Patton tilts his head. “For what?”

 “F-for…” V stammers, his eyes widening. L quickly gets his attention.

 “You’re welcome,” he says softly, “we’re happy to help.” He gives Patton a look that says he’ll explain later.

 Patton pushes it aside, reaching for the food and setting it carefully in front of V. To his surprise, V doesn’t reach out for it right away, instead eyeing it warily.

 “Wrap it up, Pat,” the prince says, clapping Patton on the shoulder, “so V can take it with him.”

 “Wait, what?” Patton stares at him in confusion. “Where’re we going?”

 “You expect us to welcome this little darling into our forest and not give him the grand tour?” The prince holds an offended hand to his chest. “How dare you.”

 Patton’s about to open his mouth to argue that V should be resting, that’s the whole point of this, but something in the prince’s gaze tells him to leave it. So Patton carefully packs the food into a small bag, before handing it to V. And he can’t deny it sends a rush of warmth through him when V’s shoulders slump and he holds the bag securely.

 “So,” the prince says, sweeping across back to V’s side, “shall we begin? Duke, Pat, if you please.”

 L gives him a nod, quickly joining J and starting a hushed conversation. Patton simply shrugs and follows the duke and the prince out the door. He quickly realizes it’s not the only one; there are five doors in the forest near a small house. It’s very basic, nothing more than four walls and a roof with a simple door. That must be the place they made for V. Glancing at his own door as it closes behind him, he notes that each one is a different color. Pale blue for his own, a rich gold for J’s, bright red for the prince, deep green for the duke, dark blue for L. V seems more at ease now that he’s back in the forest. Pat smiles. Good, it’s good to see V already getting used to being here.

 J was right, the garden really did want him.

 He also realizes the prince has been very clever about their little party as they make their way around the forest, from the clearing, to the lake, back to the garden. The prince and the duke provide wonderfully distracting arguments and Patton is well-prepared to ask all the dumb questions so V has all the information he needs. Plus, it’s nice for him to stay close to V while the prince and the duke dash around in an effort to be so overly ridiculous there’s low amounts of pressure to take them seriously.

 At one point, they actually get V to laugh.

 They’re at the lake; it’s one of Patton’s favorite places in the forest. The prince has control of the area around the lake and the surface of the lake, the duke has free rein below. Sometimes, Patton will sit on one of the big lily pads and just let one of the duke’s creatures push him around. The surface of the lake is like a giant mirror, almost glass-like, with a few delicate ripples on its veneer. The prince, of course, has a small violet bird perched on his shoulder, a fawn nuzzling his hand. The duke, by contrast, doesn’t hesitate before diving into the lake, sending sparkling showers of water droplets every which way before re-emerging, grinning, held aloft by something Patton couldn’t hope to describe.

 There isn’t a doubt that V’s adorable little awestruck expression is the best thing Patton’s seen in a while. The way his fingers loosen their death grip on his bag of food, reaching out almost involuntarily to let the fawn sniff his hand, trying to hide to subtle hitch in his breath when a little pink tongue darts out and licks his fingers.

 “She likes you,” the prince says quietly, smiling at the fawn as it tries to get closer to V.

 “Is that why she licked me?”

 “I think so.”

 A second later, there’s a massive arc of water as something huge heaves its way onto the shore.

 “Duke!” The prince snaps away the water as quickly as he can. “Keep your slimy pets where they belong!”

 “Don’t be mean,” the duke says, patting the head of the massive tentacled beast with its head flopped onto the shore, “he’s just saying hi!”

 Patton looks at V, who…isn’t afraid of the massive head now lying beside him. Instead, he looks almost…curious?

 As the prince and the duke continue to bicker, V slowly reaches out his hand toward the creature. The creature inclines its head, letting V stroke along the strange bumps. Then it huffs loudly, spraying all of them with a viscous green goo.

 “Ah!” The prince cries out in horror as he’s splattered. “Duke!”

 The duke is too busy laughing to answer. Patton sighs, taking off his glasses to snap away the gunk. He puts them back on his face to chide the duke when he sees V.

 V’s laughing.

 It’s a quiet laugh, more of a slight hum than anything else, but V’s smiling and it sounds warm and rumbly and amazing and Patton can’t help muffling his happy noise at seeing V laugh. The prince seems to have the same reaction, stopping midway through his tirade and smiling softly at V.

 The duke promptly falls off the back of the creature in shock. Then his head pops back above water and he grins.

 “That means he likes you!”

 “I like him too,” V mumbles, still smiling as he examines the gunk on his hands, “…not so much this.”

 “Everyone’s got their opinions,” the duke shrugs, getting out of the water and shaking himself off like a dog, much to V’s amusement and the prince’s dismay, “but we should probably get you cleaned up, hmm?”

 “I-if—“ V’s gaze darts around to Patton— “is that okay?”

 “Of course it’s okay, V,” Patton smiles, “why don’t we go back to your room?”

 The prince leads them back, stopping once they’re in front of V’s four walls. He taps V’s less gooey shoulder gently. “Do you remember what L and I said about your room?”

 V nods hesitantly.

 “Would you like any help?”

 V glances around at them and Patton smiles encouragingly.

 “N-no.”

 The prince smiles and gives his shoulder a gentle pat. “Okay. That’s perfectly okay. If you change your mind, which is also okay, just knock on whoever’s door you want, okay? We’ll know it’s you and we’ll come.”

 “…thank you.”

 “Of course, V.” The prince deliberately turns around, snagging the duke by his shoulder and taking Patton’s hand. Patton gives V one last wave over his shoulder before the prince pulls him back through his door.

 L and J look up when they enter, standing from their seats. J’s hands are still worrying themselves a little and L adjusts his tie.

 “What did you tell him?” The prince’s tone makes Patton’s ‘paying attention’ glasses snap on real quick.

 “Not everything,” L says, “I was waiting for you.”

 “Can someone tell me what’s going on, please?” The duke nods enthusiastically.

 The prince and L exchange a glance before the prince gestures to L. L motions for them to take a seat.

 “I’m sure it will not come as a surprise to you that the…mortals who were unkind to V controlled his access to food and water very rigorously,” L begins, “nor will it shock you to learn that V is not used to any modicum of privacy.”

 It doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to hear.

 “We—“ L gestures between himself and the prince— “did our best to assure him that his room is his own space; none of us will enter it without permission and he reserves the right to send us out at any point he wishes.”

 The prince nods sharply. “And that he’s always allowed to say ‘no’ to things if we ask him.”

 J raises an eyebrow. “Please tell me you gave him access to food.”

 “Of course we did!” L nods in agreement. “He’s got a small garden and a tiny cupboard that connects to the pantry.”

 “So I can refill it from here?”

 “Or he can refill it himself.”

 Patton nods in approval.

 “That’s also what happens to his clothes,” L says, motioning to the other part of Patton’s space, “they’ll get deposited here when he wants them cleaned. We gave him some other clothes too.”

 “I’m sure you explained all this to him too, right?”

 L and the prince exchange a soft smile. “He asked for some of it,” L says, still smiling, “or at least brought up his concerns.”

 Patton claps happily. “Oh, good for him!”

 “Yes,” the prince murmurs, quickly sobering them with his low tone, “especially considering…”

 “Right.” L takes a deep breath. “Surely you know this will not be as easy as simply giving him these things and expecting everything to work out.”

 Patton tilts his head to the side. “It…it won’t?”

 “No,” J says smoothly, “it won’t. It will take time. Mortals can be…remarkably hard to alter once they’ve been so used to something.”

 A horrible sick feeling settles in Patton’s stomach again. He knows mortals are fragile, he knows that V has been hurt very, very badly, but the thought of it staying that way? When he doesn’t need to?

“He doesn’t know that yet,” J says patiently when Patton expresses as much, “and it’s going to take time for him to realize that. You said it yourself, we can’t just go in and fix everything. We need to let V do that himself.”

 “At the very least,” L adds, “we’ve been trying to give him the tools to start.”

 A soft thump makes them turn. Patton spots a small heap of dirty cloth on a nearby surface. He walks over and picks it up, fingering the worn stitches and the holes in the fabric.

 The duke peers over his shoulder. “It’s V’s clothes.”

 “He must be having a wash,” the prince says, “good. You absolutely drenched him.”

 “That wasn’t me! It was Oliver!”

 “What did you give him to wash with,” Patton interrupts. The prince shrugs.

 “Modified version of the basins we use. Plenty of water, hot and cold, soap, things to clean with. Towels. Drains by itself too, right into the garden.”

 “We gave him a proper room,” L assures, “a proper bed, a proper space.”

 “You should’ve seen him,” the prince mumbles, “I never thought I’d see someone get so worried about being told they were allowed their own space. Especially a mortal, all the ones I’ve known have been so obsessed with taking.”

 “You remember why, though.” As L speaks, the prince’s face darkens. Patton glances worriedly between them.

 “What?”

 L sighs. “It appears that…the mortals somehow convinced V that they were doing him…favors.”

 Patton barely has time to blink before the duke is feral again. He reaches out and wraps his arms around the writhing mass of tentacles, joined quickly by the prince and J, muttering softly to the duke until the tentacles retreat.

 L adjusts his glasses. “Quite.”

 “That’s why he freaked out when Pat asked what he was thanking him for,” the duke growls, “the sick fucks probably made him be specific too.”

 “Our priority,” L interrupts before the duke can convince the rest of them to go feral too—honestly, Patton’s already halfway there— “is to help V feel safe.”

 Patton nods, only partly listening as L keeps talking, turning the tunic over in his hands. It’s worn, very worn, and so thin that Patton can feel his fingers grind together when he rubs the fabric between them. Is this all V had? For how long? It looks so old…

 Wait. Is that…

 Patton lifts the tunic a little, rubbing at a dark stain. His eyes widen. J catches sight of it.

 “That better be blood.”

 At the mention of the word ‘blood,’ L stops. Slowly, he walks over, holding out his hand. Wordlessly, Patton hands it over. L takes it in his hands and if Patton looks very, very closely, his hands tremble.

 L takes a deep breath and hands the tunic back to Patton.

 “We cannot push,” he repeats with practiced calm, “we must make V feel safe first. And that means we must trust him.”

 Patton doesn’t like it. None of them do. But they know L is right.

 “And…with any luck,” L adds, “a good sleep and a regular meal should start helping him some more.”

 It should.

 It doesn’t.

 For a while, almost nothing changes. V still holds his food in a bag when Patton gives it to him. His eyes still dart around wildly whenever he goes on a walk with the prince or the duke. He still prefers to hide away in his room, coming out when they request, denying them access with a tinge of fear.

 His clothes still come back with stains.

 Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried. This isn’t how mortals should be, they should be sleeping, they should be eating. But V seems to doggedly stay the same, still as tired and fearful as the day he stumbled into the garden. When Patton confronts L about it, L says that if he didn’t know any better, he’d say V wasn’t sleeping.

 Patton doesn’t want to push, doesn’t want to shatter this tenuous bond, not now, not ever. But he’s worried.

 There’s always a faint buzz in Patton’s chest that tells him where V is. He tries not to pay attention to it, give the kiddo his privacy, make sure he feels like he can come to Patton when he wants to, not when Patton wants him to. He takes care to watch how he talks around V, moves around V, is as gentle as he can be. The faint buzz seems to settle a little better whenever V’s around him.

 Then one day it spikes. Horribly.

 Patton doubles over, pressing a hand hard to his own chest as the whine sharpens, pushes, threatens to snatch his breath away. Instantly, he looks for it, trying to find it, comfort it, come on, kiddo, tell me what’s wrong—

  V.

 Where’s V?

 Patton rushes out of his door, only to see V’s door wide open. With trembling footsteps, he slowly approaches, his heart in his throat, one hand still pressed firmly to his chest.

 “V?” He calls softly, over and over, not wanting to intrude, but getting no response. “V, kiddo?”

 He hesitates at the threshold. This is V’s space. They promised. He closes his eyes. Concentrates.

 The pain isn’t coming from here.

 He opens his eyes and focuses. There.

 It’s one of those horrid little black clouds, buzzing away from a path leading deeper into the forest. Patton follows the noise until he’s wading through the clouds, pushing them out of the way, swatting the ones he can, until he sees V.

 His heart aches as he takes in the absolute swarm threatening to choke the poor thing, curled up as he is at the base of a big tree. Patton gets a little closer, then crouches down and carefully, oh so carefully, pushes.

 “V?”

 V’s head jerks up, his eyes as wide as a startled fawn’s, his head jerking around until his gaze lands on Patton. Patton holds up his hands, smiling softly.

 “Hey, kiddo,” Patton murmurs, still pushing at the swarm, “it’s okay. You just look at me, okay? That’s all you gotta do, just look at me.”

 V looks. The swarm rushes in, trying to get between Patton and V but Patton focuses, the few clouds that come in between them disappearing into quick plumes of smoke. With each one that vanishes, the others seem wary, leaving V free to stare at Patton.

 “Good,” Patton murmurs, “you’re doing really good, kiddo. Can you take a deep breath for me? In…and out…in…and out…good job, kiddo, just like that.”

 The whine in Patton’s chest starts to die down, the rest of him aching to reach out and take V in his arms. The poor thing looks so scared…

 “P-Pat?”

 “Yeah, V,” Patton says instantly, “I’m right here, you want me closer?”

 V reaches out a trembling hand and Patton doesn’t hesitate.

 V clings to his cloak like a lifeline, still curled up in a ball, just his one hand sticking out. Patton lets V tug him close, huddling around him at the base of the tree, softly murmuring to him.

 “Shh, shh, kiddo,” he says, trying to center his shield to keep the worst of the swarm out, “you’re doing so good, you just keep breathing for me, okay?”

 It takes a long time. Much longer than Patton would like. But eventually, when the last of the whining has faded to a confused buzz, V’s hand relaxes, the fabric still all bunched up from the force of his grip.

 “S-sorry,” he mumbles.

 “You don’t have to apologize, kiddo,” Patton soothes immediately, “you did the right thing.”

 V looks up at him, eyes wide and rimmed red. “…I did?”

 Patton smiles. “You did. You did so well, you breathed, you asked for what you wanted. You did so well, kiddo.”

 And oh does it hurt to see how much just that one little piece of praise means to V, and how little he must’ve received.

 Patton knows he’s not supposed to push. But then V reaches for him again with trembling hands and he can’t help himself.

 “Come here, sweetie,” he murmurs, pulling V into a gentle hug, “there you go…you just breathe for me, okay? You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to worry, you don’t even have to think if you don’t want to. You just breathe…”

 As he rocks V gently back and forth, he runs his hand down V’s head, across his shoulders, down to his back. V hisses and tenses when Patton’s hand touches something.

 “…V?”

 “Don’t be mad,” V stammers instantly, pulling away, “d-don’t be mad.”

 Patton raises his hands. “I’m not mad, kiddo, I promise. I’m not mad and I’m not going to hurt you.”

 The whine sharpens again as V tugs the tunic tightly around himself. Patton watches, concern written plainly across his features. He waits. Waits. Waits. Until…

 “…I need help,” V whispers, his head almost buried in his arms, “please.”

 “Of course,” Patton coos instantly, “of course, V, I’ll help you, what do you need?”

 “C-can we go to m-my room?”

 “Yes, sweetheart, we can go to your room. Do you feel up to walking?”

 V clutches himself tighter. “…in a minute.”

 “Take your time, kiddo, I’m not going anywhere.”

 In a moment, V lets his head fall back against the tree and takes a deep breath. In another, he pushes himself to his feet. A few more and they’re standing outside V’s door.

 “You can change your mind, kiddo,” Patton says gently when V hesitates, “I won’t be mad.”

 For a moment, he thinks V’s going to say no, Patton can leave, please, then he clenches his jaw and reaches out to take Patton’s hand. He grips it firmly and lets V pull him into the house.

 “…can you shut the door?”

 Patton does as bid, having a quick glance around, making a note to commend the prince and L for their job. It’s a very simple house, but it’s cozy. He refocuses on V, who has his back to him, clutching the sides of his tunic.

 V’s shoulders shake. “…it hurts, Pat.”

 “Where,” Patton murmurs, “where does it hurt?”

 “My…my back.”

 “Your back, kiddo? Can I come look?” V nods, bowing his head. “Thank you, V.”

 Patton walks over slowly, making his footsteps loud and obvious, so that he won’t surprise V. “Can I touch you, kiddo?”

 “…please don’t hurt me.”

 “I won’t, sweetie,” Patton murmurs, “I promise. Can I lift up the back of your tunic?”

 “Y-yeah.”

 “Thank you.” Taking the material gently in hand, Patton starts to lift it up slowly.

 “W-wait!”

 Patton freezes. V’s breaths grow ragged, clutching himself tighter.

 “I can leave if you—“

 “No!”

 V breathes. Breathes. Patton’s heart stays in his throat, holding still, trying to project as much safety as he can. It takes a few more heart-wrenching seconds before V shudders.

 “O-okay. You can lift it up now.”

 “Thank you,” Patton murmurs, starting to move again. He manages to tuck the end of the tunic around V’s collar, exposing his back.

 And the scars.

 Patton knew some whipped other mortals, knew that cruel mortals used their horsewhips liberally, but never had he seen the end result. Certainly not like this. Gruesome comets streak across V’s back of red and silvered white. The skin wheezes and stretches as he breathes. Some looked old. Some still wept, crying sluggish and lumpy tears of blood.

 “S-sorry,” he hears V mumble, “I’m sorry.”

 “V,” Patton says quietly, “V, I need you to listen to me for a moment.”

 V nods.

 “You don’t have to apologize,” Patton says firmly, “not for this. Never for this. This is not your fault, it will never be your fault. And I will never be angry at you for it.”

 V’s back shudders with the weight of Patton’s words. Then his hands slowly drop to his sides. Patton lets out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding.

 “I can’t reach them,” V mumbles, “I…I need help.”

 “Thank you for letting me help,” Patton says, lifting his hand and letting it glow, “these won’t take a moment to heal, you won’t be able to—“

 “No, don’t!” Patton pauses as V cries out. “Don’t heal them, please, not completely, I need—I need to have them.”

 Patton’s blood runs cold. “Why do you need to have them, V?”

 “I—I—“

 Patton glances around, spotting a stool. “Here,” he murmurs, summoning it quickly, “sit down, honey, you’re shaking.”

 V sits, hunching over, bearing his back for all to see, the scars wincing horribly as he does so. Patton stays close, resting a hand lightly on his shoulder, just so V knows he’s there, that nothing will startle him.

 “You don’t have to explain in detail if you don’t want,” Patton assures, “but…I would like to know why you don’t want them healed all the way.”

 V mumbles something. Patton squeezes his shoulder.

 “I can’t quite hear you, is it okay if I come a little closer?” At V’s nod, Patton crouches next to his head. “Thank you. Can you say it again for me?”

 “If…if I don’t have them,” V whispers, “it’s like—it’s like it didn’t happen. It’s like I’m—I’m crazy, I’m wrong, I don’t—I can’t—“

 Oh. Patton swallows. “You need them to remember,” he says softly, “to remind yourself that you survived.”

 V nods.

 “Oh, sweetie, thank you for telling me. I won’t make them go away, I promise. Would you like to at least make them stop hurting you?”

 V nods again. “I…I can’t sleep. They hurt.”

 Patton, who had stood up and begun lightly running his hand to close the wounds, frowns. “What about sleeping on your stomach or your side?”

 V shakes his head quickly. “Can’t. It’s bad. I can’t—can’t do anything then.”

 Right. Being on his stomach would put him in such a vulnerable position…and if he doesn’t want to…

 “V,” Patton says, gently stroking an unmarred patch of skin with his thumb as he works, “do you not feel safe enough to sleep here?”

 V’s back tenses under his hand and Patton rubs a soothing circle into it.

 “It’s okay if you don’t, kiddo,” he says softly, “I’m not angry, I’m just curious.”

 “…sorry.”

 “Don’t apologize, sweetie, you haven’t done anything wrong. This is still new to you, you’re still coming to terms with the fact that you’re safe now, you’re somewhere else, away from them.”

 “B-but…” V shudders again. “Y-you’ve been so nice and you haven’t hurt me at all but I can’t help feeling like—like—“

 “…it’s only a matter of time?”

 “…yeah.”

 Patton hums, thinking as he finishes. He takes a damp towel and softly asks V if he can clean him off a little. As he rubs the soft towel in soothing motions, he says, “I can’t make all your fears go away, kiddo, nor can I tell you you shouldn’t be afraid. It’s okay that you’re afraid, really. We’ll be here to help you.”

 “Y-you will?”

 Patton gives him one last pat before he gently lowers the tunic and lays the towel aside. He walks around to the front and crouches, tucking a hand under V’s chin and gently encouraging him to make eye contact.

 “Yes, V,” he promises, “we’ll be here.”

 V’s gaze, so horribly unsure and scared, has just the smallest bit of hope in it, and that’s enough for Patton. He smiles, only grinning wider when V hesitantly smiles back.

 “You also don’t have to sleep here,” Patton says, “you can sleep anywhere you like.”

 An adorable wrinkle forms between V’s brows. “Really?”

 “Yeah, kiddo.” Patton gestures around. “We made this so you could have your own space, but it’s okay if you don’t feel like sleeping here. It’s okay if you never want to sleep here.”

 He reaches up and gently rubs at V’s chest, right over his heart.

 “You sleep wherever you feel safest, okay, kiddo?”

 “Okay.”

 Patton smiles. “Good. Good job, kiddo, you did so well. I’m so proud of you.”

 He stands, guiding V’s chin up too until he can lean down and lightly kiss his forehead. “Do you want anything else?”

 “N-no,” V mumbles, “I’m good. Thank you.”

 “Always.”

 Patton leaves V’s room, carefully shutting the door behind him, before opening the door to his own and going inside. As he goes, he finds the latest bloody tunic and washes it personally.

 Slowly, he dips the fabric into the water, scrubbing persistently at the stain. No more. No more. Never again. Never again.

 No one will touch V again. Nothing will ever make those wounds on his back bleed. Not on his watch.

 “Pat?”

 “In here,” Patton calls, hanging up the tunic and going to meet the others. L stands in the corner, J by his side. The prince swings around quickly when he enters, pulling up the duke by his shoulder. “Thank you for coming so quick.”

 “Of course,” L says instantly, “it was important.”

 Patton tells them what he’s learned, leaving out any parts that V confessed to him personally. He won’t tell V’s story for him, just tells the others about things he learns to take care of him. As to be expected, they’re not happy about it.

 “What else can we do,” the prince cries, “to make him feel safe? Are we not—are we not doing enough?”

 “We’re doing all that we can,” L says, even as he nervously adjusts his tie, “but…it will take time. The fact that V feels comfortable enough to tell us this already speaks volumes. We must…simply continue being patient.”

 “But if he’s not sleeping,” the duke argues, then—

 “L is right,” Patton says, even as the duke grumbles, “we just have to…be patient.”

 J reaches out, taking one of their hands in one of his. He squeezes, draws them closer. They wrap their arms around each other, buzzing gently. Patton knocks his head lightly against the duke’s and rests his head on J’s shoulder.

 They knew this wasn’t going to be easy. He’s not sure they realized just how hard it would be. But they’ll figure it out. They will. For V.

 As it turns out, maybe they’ve made more progress than they thought.

 The prince sends out a call the next morning, saying V’s not in his room. The duke tears off around the forest, J heads for the garden. L makes for the lake, Patton stays behind in case he comes back. But just as he’s grabbing a sack of food to give to V just in case they find him, he hears something soft in the pile of clean, dry clothes. He frowns, walking over, only to see—

 Patton’s breath catches in his throat and he smiles so wide his cheeks ache.

 V is curled up in the warm pile, clinging to one of J’s cloaks and one of Patton’s shirts draped around his shoulders. For the first time since Patton’s seen him, his face is slack, free of any stress or tension. He looks young, peaceful.

 It’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen.

 Yeah, he thinks as he lets the others know he’s found V, everything’s okay, we’ll figure it out.

[pi-cat000]

Magnus Archives/BNHA (1)

Fandoms: Crossover between The Magnus Archives & My Hero Academia 

Characters: Jon and Martin (friendship)

Summary:  Jon and Martin are reincarnated  into the BNHA universe after failing to prevent the apocalypse. They compare their quirks to their respective Entities. 

Will probably post on ao3 at some point. 

(Part 2 here)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“They registered my quirk as Veracity you know.”

 “Veracity?”

 “Yes. Quite abstract. I suppose they thought they were being poetic…” Jon mutters, bitterness colouring his tone. He stares out at the playground, watching his age mates run about in a boundless display of youthful energy and innocent excitement.

 From his place on the bench beside him, Martin hums, halfway between sympathetic and thoughtful, “I think it’s a nice name. It softens the edges a bit.”

 “I should have expected it…to have a quirk like this… after we saw what your one did,” he curls his small child hand into a fist, “I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”

 Quirks. The strange and wondrous abilities gifted to people of their new reality. Jon had hoped, when he hadn’t presented with one at the usual age of four, that he would remain quirkless. He had suffered enough with having terrifying abilities in his previous life. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t get his wish.

 Martin reaches out, hesitates, then pats him lightly on the knee, “You’re taking it a lot better than me. At least you didn’t breakdown and spend the night in hospital.”

 “I suppose,” he frowns, glancing sideward, “Though our situations are hardly comparable.”

 Martin’s quirk put any person he touched with both hands into a fog-filed, alternate dimension/temporal pocket. Its similarity to The Lonely had been poorly received by both of them. Especially, considering Jon had been the one to suffer through its first accidental activation. While he had found himself lost and alone in a grey, fog filed, void, a hysterical Martin had been rushed to hospital. There the doctors had had to wait for him to calm down enough that a Quirk specialist could walk him through the process of reversing the effect.

 “You thought you had trapped me for good. Of course, you would take that poorly.”

 The quirk specialist had banally called it ‘Cloud Prison’ like it wasn’t the residue of a primordial fear god leaking into their new reality. Not even six years of a second life could dull the pain and terror that had been their final moments before the apocalypse. To suddenly have such a stark reminder shoved in their faces had shaken them both.

 “I would never have done that to you on purpose,” Martin murmurs, probably drawing the same connection as Jon, “It just happened so suddenly…”

 “Yes, well, I am now painfully aware of how volatile and uncontrollable a quirk can be.”

 Martin winces, “Does it activate every time you ask a question? You can’t control it at all?”

 “It seems to be automatic. If I ask anyone a question they must answer truthfully. There is also a lovely mental component,” He lets his resentment grow, “so I can feel their unease when they answer. I’ll know if the person is trying to fight or when they’re trying to leave out an important detail. It is very similar to…before.”

 He grits his teeth. There were no Entities in this word, aside for the residue that lived in their memories but sometimes that could be just as bad. The last thing his recovering mind needed was a reminder of how he had slowly lost his humanity.

 “I also feel them. The people I trap alone in the fog.” Martin adds and shivers, “It’s horrible.”

 “Yes. It is.”

 They both sit in silence as the light began to fade. 

 Their time at the park is almost done. Soon they would have to return to the foster home they both shared. Jon, being a mentally unstable adult trapped in the body of a child, had been too much for a young single mum who had never wanted children. He barely remembers her leaving him at a local shopping centre being hardly old enough to walk at the time. Martin’s parents had died in a villain attack, because, alongside fantastical powers, this reality was full of brightly coloured Heroes and Villains like they had woken up inside a comic book. Six years in and it still felt too surreal to be real.

 “Well, we don’t have to use our quirks. It’ll just never touch anyone with both hands, and I’ll ask all your questions for you so you won’t have to worry either.”

 Jon scoffs, “You can get away with wearing gloves. No need for anything dramatic.”

 “You know what I mean Jon.”

 “Reo,” he interrupts, “please remember to call me Reo. We already attact more attention than is probably good for us.”

 They weren’t Martin Blackwood and Jonathan Sims anymore. That life was behind them. Here, they were Jiro Shirakumo and Reo Tsukauchi and the sooner they acclimatised to using their new names the better. Maybe, one day, he would even start feeling like ‘Reo’ and ‘Jon’ would fade away like a bad dream.

 “You’re one to talk. We would attract less attention if you would loosen up a bit. I mean, I’m not perfect, but kids don’t talk so formally.”

 “I would rather not suffer through the indignity of dumbing myself down on top of everything, thank you very much.”

 “It’s not that bad. Why are you always so prickly?” Martin pokes him in the shoulder, grinning now, forcing Jon to shuffle away, “Normal kids smile every now and then you know.”

 “I think you enjoy being a ‘normal’ kid a bit too much.” Martin had settled into his second skin with more grace than Jon had. Not that he was trying very hard. 

 A laugh, “Well yeah, I mean, no responsibilities, no nightmare monsters, no conspiracies, no apocalypse. It’s nice.”

 “Oi Jiro!” 

A heavy-set kid, two years their senior, stomps up and glares at them, “you and the weirdo coming or what because I don’t want to miss dinner again,”

 “He has a name you know,” Martin reprimands, smile quickly turning into a stern frown, “Maybe you should try using it.”

 “Tch. Whatever. Mrs Suzuki said to be back by five and I’ll get in trouble if I leave you losers behind, so you better hurry up.” The boy storms away, back to his group of friends, who all look their way and laugh.

 “I don’t remember kids being so mean when I was young the first time around,” Martin complains, standing and brushing himself down, “You would think they’d have better things to do.”

 He shrugs. Child bullies were so far beneath him that he barely registers when they shout insults at him, shove him into walls or knock books out of his hand. Not like he didn’t deserve a little hardship after dooming his entire world. Besides, Martin took offence enough for the both of them, getting into plenty of arguments on Jon’s behalf. Of course, now they both had somewhat threatening quirks, their fellow housemates were a lot wearier when it came harassing him.

 “Come on.” He stands as well, “I for one do not want another lecture.”

 “Mrs Suzuki does like to drag them out,” Martin agrees as they trail along behind the older kids.

 Their neighbourhood is full of two-story apartment blocks and tightly packed houses which line the relatively quiet streets. It is only a short ten-minute walk from the park to the share-house and one he is intimately familiar with seeing as his carers force him to take it twice a week for ‘the exercise.’ At least the weather is pleasant here.

  In the fading light of the afternoon Martin’s wispy, cloud-like hair and blue pupilless eyes catch the glow so they are almost orange. Martin’s strange physical features had become more pronounced since his quirk’s activation. Apparently, it was genetic, something a quick glance at the few photos Martin had of his biological family confirmed. This world sported many people with odd features and he just hoped that his own plain appearance, straight black hair and dark eyes, would remain that way. All he wanted was fade into the background and live his second life as peacefully as possible.

...

(Part 2 here): Jon learns more about his truth-quirk and deals with other people learning about his truth-quirk.