#A friend of mine at the farmer's market this morning asked me 'what's new?' and I just moaned 'too much'. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sams-sass · 1 year

Text

Bound

Part One

Hey hey hey!! Here is my new Alpha!Sam fic. I really hope you guys enjoy this! Its somewhat of an AU, but Sam and Dean are still hunters.

Read Part Two Here:

Unchained

Summary: You learn something new about yourself, something that is brought on by a stranger. Your life is turned upside down when you present as an Omega and are immediately taken and kept away from him. Your Alpha.

Warnings: Eventual smut, talk of capture, talk of mistreatment, talk of fear and anguish, reader is a virgin. This is angsty, but it ends happy because I literally cannot make Sam sad.

Note: @never--doubt, @emoryhemsworth, @hintsofhoney and I were talking about an innocent reader fic. So this is mine.

I would like to give a special thank you and shout out to my beautiful and brilliant Betas @emoryhemsworth @440mxs-wife @makeadealwithdean and @never--doubt you guys helped me so much with this fic. Reading and rereading. Listening to my ideas. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Pairings: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

Prologue

It started with the war. Hundreds to thousands of boys and men were sent to fight and die for a country that didn't provide the service back. Most of them were Alphas. Their Omegas were left at home for months, years, or sometimes until the boney hands of death also claimed them. Their natural cycles and heats were not being met with what they needed most—their Alphas. The Omegas called for their mates. Their desperate and wild howls filled the night air. The moon wept alongside her sisters.

Generations came and went, and as time passed, a dip in the presentation of Omegas occurred. Not only were they becoming increasingly rare, but they were also going extinct. The mother of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas became a commodity. Bought and sold to the highest bidder in hopes of breeding an Omega.

Once held in the highest regard, their presentation became seen as weak and dependent. Omegas were to be captured and stowed away in a house of their own kind. They would be kept pure, letting their heats dissolve them every month in agony. They do not allow them any contact with Alphas. A select few Betas can be in their presence. The only Alphas now who could claim an Omega have to pay the price.

Only a twist of fate can undo the ties that bind. -------------------- As you strolled through the farmers market, you let your hands touch soaps, fruits, vegetables, and fabrics. The spring air blew strands of your hair off your shoulders, filling your nose with its new and crisp scent. You turned your face toward the high morning sun, feeling the heat soak through your t-shirt and leggings.

"Hey, Ness." You greeted your friend as you ducked under a tent.

"Hey, Y/N." She called back, looking at you over her shoulder.

"Got anything good for me today?" You asked, bending at the waist to check out her selection of fruits and vegetables.

"Well, seeing as you are late..." She said, turning to face you fully.

"Ugh, I know!" You said. "I couldn't make myself get out of bed this morning. I just felt this pull for more sleep." You explained, picking up an orange for inspection.

"Still, I saved you the best tomatoes," Vanessa said, her smile wide as she handed you the brown paper bag.

"You are literally the best. I love you." You said as you took the bag from her hands, peeking at the red and orange heirloom tomatoes.

"Love you more." She said back. You fell into an easy routine with your friend. She was a Beta. Her sweet and clean smell filled your nose. Vanilla and ripe summer strawberries. You were also a Beta. Your presentation had not been typical, but it wasn't entirely abnormal.

You were about to ask Ness if she wanted to come over tonight when it hit you. The scent filled your entire body. It smelt of soft sandalwood, the woodsy and fresh aroma reminding you of springtime. Green and young foliage kissed by the sun and air for the first time. A heavy musk lay underneath. Old books with spines that crack from time passing. Your fingers could almost feel the worn and read pages between them. The wind shifted, and you could now smell pine. The ever-true and mighty trees covered with heavy snow still stand tall in the changing environment. Your mouth watered at the scent of orange. You could practically taste the sweet and tart juice rolling across your tongue and sliding down your throat. It's supple nectar refreshing and filling you. You could feel the heat of a bonfire on a cool summer evening burn across your flesh, its incandescent smell warming you from the inside out. Soothing mint was the final scent you picked up. Clean and bright. Fresh. It cleared your senses until it was all you could scent...all you could feel was him.

"Do you smell that?" You asked out loud. Your eyes rolled back in your head, and your knees buckled involuntarily. You let out a gasp that turned into a moan. Your tongue felt thick with moisture. Your head lolled back on your shoulders.

"What is happening?" You asked through panting and panicked breaths. You felt like you were being watched, and your head snapped forward, looking...for what, you weren't sure. You flicked the hair out of your eyes, and that's when you saw him. He was tall. Standing above everyone else. He wore a blue jacket with a black flannel underneath. His brown hair blew softly in the breeze. He was incredibly handsome. Long limbs and broad shoulders. Defined cheekbones and a strong jaw, softened by baby-pink lips and expressive eyes. His mouth sat slightly open, his chest heaving with full breaths. His eyes locked onto yours, and the cramps rolled through you.

"Oh, my god." You practically shouted, your hands flying to your stomach.

"Y/N, what the hell is going on?" Vanessa asked, her voice worried and confused. You gasped as you fell to the ground, your hand knocking over fruits and vegetables as you tried to catch yourself.

"Holy shit," Vanessa said, covering her mouth. "You're an Omega."

You curled inward as a fresh wave of cramps moved through you. When you looked up, there he was. Crouching in front of you. His hazel eyes were determined yet concerned. He held his hand out to you, offering you help. You couldn't explain why, but you trusted him. Your fingers danced over his, his body pulling you back to standing. The moment your skin touched his, you knew. You had read about his. True mates. There was no record of a true mate in over a century. They had been eradicated from the treatment of Omegas. Or so you thought. Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt the slick leak between your legs. He caught the smell of it, and you saw his eyes turn wild. His hand practically yanked you toward him, his opposite arm holding you tightly against his chest.

"Omega." His voice was thick and weighted with arousal. Your knees buckled again, but he caught you this time. His hand came up to wipe the hair away from your forehead.

"You're my..." You mumbled through panting breaths and moans. Your cramps were getting worse, overtaking your entire body. He looked deeply at you then. His sunset eyes were staring into yours. Intertwined in green, blue, and gold, you saw your life waiting for you. It was then that you realized the others around you. Alphas from all over the surrounding area were closing in on you. He noticed them too. A protective and possessive growl came from deep within his chest. He turned and tucked you behind him, his arms holding you tightly. Using himself as a shield as he slowly backed up while assessing the situation.

A whistle broke through the crowd. Your head turned to see dozens of guards racing through the farmers market. They had nightsticks, guns, and gas that they were threatening the descending Alphas with.

"No." Your Alpha said, moving you to the front of his body and wrapping you into an unyielding embrace. Despite all the action, you couldn't help your body's response to being surrounded by his scent. You fisted his shirt in your hands, trying to get as close as possible.

The guards came for him. There were about 20. Your Alpha tried to hold onto you, but there were too many. He unwillingly let you go and began to fight them off. Sometimes taking two of three at a time. You watched in fear and amazement as his massive form made quick work of each guard. His arms and legs struck their target each time precisely. Another Alpha jumped in as well. He fought off the guards alongside your Alpha. Their movements were calculated and practiced. They were experienced. You stared at the two of them, still wrecked with cramps and sweat.

Suddenly, hands wrapped around your arms. You tried kicking. You tried yanking your arms away. You tried flailing your entire body. They were too strong. Alarm and panic coursed through your veins. You let out a scream, your desperation evident. Your Alpha turned then. His nostrils flared. There was so much anger and aggression in his focused eyes. You watched his large hands ball into fists at his side. His lip curled over his front teeth as he charged at the guards, his body only seeking yours. The other Alpha, who was fighting with him, ran as well. The guards all blocked you, standing between you and your Alpha. You watched as he screamed, punched, and kicked. You saw the agony and peril written across his handsome face as they threw you into the van. You made eye contact with him. You reached out your hand, desperately trying to get back to him.

"I will find you! Do you hear me? I will come for you. My Omega!" He screamed, his eyes holding yours with certainty. His voice was the last thing you heard before the needle pinched your skin and sleep took you. ---------------------- "Come on, man! I just wanna sleep!" Dean whined, his head turning to the other side of the pillow.

"I can go without you. I just wanted to let you know I'm taking the car." Sam said, already picking up the keys.

"What?" Dean shot up. "Why do you need the car?"

"Because it's a few miles away," Sam explained.

"Fine. They better have coffee." Dean mumbled as he dramatically threw the covers off him and stumbled into the bathroom.

"It's a farmers market, Dean. Of course, they will have coffee." Sam said, rolling his eyes and waiting for his brother.

"And bacon!" Dean shouted.

"I'll call ahead." Sam shot back sarcastically. ---------------------- "What the fuck, Sam? I don't see any bacon!" Dean asked, his face twisted in annoyance.

"Have a muffin," Sam said, pointing to the first thing he saw.

"You have a muffin!" Dean poked his finger into Sam's chest.

"I told you, you didn't have to come," Sam said.

"Right. Like I'm gonna let you leave Baby here with all these..." Dean paused, flailing his hands around dramatically. "Vegetarians!" He whisper yelled before he stalked away.

Sam shook his head and laughed lightly at his brother's usual antics before returning to the canvas bag display before him. He lifted his head to look at the booth next to him when it hit him. The purest and most intoxicating scent filled his lungs.

It smelt of jasmine, its sensual and feminine smell wrapping around him. He could see the fields of lavender in his mind. Their gorgeous purple color contrasts the lush green grass in which they grow. The floral scent was wild yet tamed, making his hands ball into fists at his side. His tongue felt heavy at the taste of honey, his mouth savoring its nutty and woodsy aroma. He smelt spices, cinnamon, clove, and nutmeg. Their nostalgic and balmy perfumes reminded him of autumn. How the seasons change brought new life to the earth. Sam could virtually feel the rain dance across his body. Goosebumps covered his flesh at the humid and earthy smell bringing him almost to his knees. His pupils dilated at the fresh and invigorating fragrance of freshly cut lemon. Its sticky and citrus juices awakened his senses until all that was left for Sam to see or feel...was you.

He saw you then, hunched over and panting. Your eyes locked on his, and his world stopped spinning. All the air left his lungs, and the blood ran hotter in his veins. You grabbed your stomach, your face scrunching in confusion and pain. You fell to the ground, and Sam took off toward you. Shoving and pushing anyone and everyone out of his way until he was crouching before you. He stretched his hand out to help. He knew the instant your delicate touch caressed his scared and calloused skin. Sam caught the scent of your slick sliding down your legs and had to keep himself from ripping your clothes off. He ran his hands over your hair, feeling the heat from your body as he pulled you close.

"Omega," He claimed.

"Your my..." Your voice was breathy and dazed. Sam knew what you meant. True mates. Even in his delirium, he knew this was exceedingly rare. He tilted your head back to look directly into your eyes. Swimming among the specks of Y/E/C, he saw everything he could ever need. ----------------- Your hand was reaching toward him. His love. His Omega. His unclaimed mate. He reached back. Your beautiful eyes were full of fear and agony. It killed him to watch you in pain and sorrow.

"I will find you! Do you hear me? I will come for you. My Omega!" He pledged to you and himself. The guards slammed the doors of the van and sped away. It took over 15 guards to hold Sam and Dean back from you. They finally broke away and raced toward the Impala. Dean jumped across the hood to climb into the front seat.

"What the fuck is going on, man?" Dean screamed once they took off driving. Sam didn't answer right away; he just sat in brooding silence. His hands balled tightly into fists on his lap. Dean screamed his name, and Sam finally snapped out of it.

"I don't know," Sam said truthfully. "I think...no...I know, she is my true mate."

"True mate?" Dean asked, looking over at Sam. "When was the last time that happened?"

"Over a century ago," Sam answered.

"Whoa." Was all Dean said, his hand running through his spiked hair.

Despite their best efforts, they lost the van carrying you. Sam shook with anger and frustration. His mind and body swinging between hectic depression and chaotic rage. Now that he had seen you. Scented you. Heard your angelic voice...he could never be without you.

They pulled into Singer Auto the next day. Sam closed the door and immediately started pacing. Bobby greeted them outside with beers in his hands.

"What's got you two all riled up?" Bobby asked around the lip of his beer can.

"I met my true mate. They took her from me, Bobby. They took my Omega." Sam said. His voice was primal sounding. Bobby lowered his beer can, his brow stitching together on his forehead. He looked at Sam as if he was crazy, glancing between both boys for more information.

"Your true mate?" Bobby asked. "Sam...there hasn't been a documented case of true mates in..." Bobby trailed off. His head shook in disbelief.

"Over a century. I know." Sam finished for him. He sounded impatient.

"It's true, Bobby. I saw it all. She presented in the middle of a farmers market." Dean piped in.

"What?" Bobby looked as if he had just been punched in the stomach.

"Yeah. Us and about 50 guards from the government had to fight off like 25 other Alphas who were all called there by her presentation." Dean explained.

"And you're sure it was you, son?" Bobby asked. Sam pricked at the question but remained in control.

"It didn't happen until we made eye contact." Sam verified.

"My god," Bobby said. His eyebrows raised to his hairline.

"Bobby. I need to know where they are kept, the Omegas. I need to find her. I need to rescue her. Every minute that I am without her is agony to me. It has only been a day, and I feel like I'm gonna combust. I feel like a part of me is missing. I need to be with her. I need...her. Just her." Sam said, his voice softening.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know. I-I don't even know if there is just one house or several." Bobby said regretfully. Sam let out a breath that turned into a growl, his hands raking through his hair.

"Well, boys, it looks like we have some work to do," Bobby said more confidently. ----------------------- You awoke in your new room. It was bland. All sense of individuality was gone. The walls were beige. The bedding was beige. Even the furniture was a withered beige. You let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes and feeling the tears come. In all the turmoil at the farmer's market, you didn't have time to fully understand what was happening. The fear settled over your shoulders like a cold, scratchy blanket offering no warmth.

Your body curled into itself tightly. Cramps still sat deep in your abdomen. A constant and aching reminder of your new reality. The tears fell hot and heavy down your cheeks, their salty taste getting caught in your mouth. You sniffled and pressed the palms of your hands into your eyes. Your breath was wet sounding as you cried in your lonely room. You got out of bed and went to the door, swallowing thickly from nerves. Eyes closed as your fingers felt the cold metal of the handle. You turned it. Locked.

"No. No. No. No. Please. No." You said in total defeat. Your voice pendulated from small and meek to loud and angry as you continued your protest. You ran your hands over the door, looking for any way out.

"You can move around the house once your heat is over." Someone spoke. They were right outside the door. Your breath caught in your throat, and you stepped backward in fear.

"Don't be scared." She spoke again. There was the sound of a key turning in a lock. The door opened, and a woman walked through. She was beautiful with wavy raven-colored hair that fell to her mid-back. She wore a long black dress that accentuated her cleavage. Her olive skin was highlighted with freckles and beauty marks. Large dark brown eyes found yours, and a calm smile sat on her lips.

"My name is Violet. I am the head Omega of this house." ---------------------- Four months Later The Omega house was strange. Most women here were kind and compassionate. Most days passed with walks around the property. Reading in the small library and eating meals with some other Omegas here. You had classes on how to be a good Omega. How to best manage your heats. And how to keep your Alpha happy. It was misogynistic and disgusting, but you were holding it together. It was alright per se, but it wasn't home. There were two times when the house was miserable. Once was when you had your heat. You were forced to stay in your room. Given only essential over-the-counter medication for the pain. No matter how bad the cramps were. No matter how loudly you pleaded. You were not allowed to touch yourself. Not allowed anything that could provide some relief for the aching pulse between your legs. Some have even been tied down because they could not stop. However, the worst days were the days when the Alphas visited. They came in with confidence unlike you had ever seen. Their fancy cars and clothes could not mask their true nature. They saw you all as property. They didn't ask permission to touch or scent you. They didn't want to talk to you or find themselves in any kind of courtship. They tried to claim you as their own. They wanted to own you. Today was one of those days.

You took a deep breath, running your hands over the white dress you had to wear when the Alphas were here. It fits tightly across your chest, flowing slightly at your waist. The hem fell around your calf, showing your bare feet. You rubbed your bicep nervously and prayed that you didn't get chosen. You had lucked out the past four months and hoped your luck could get you one more month. A bit more time for him to find you. You knew he was looking. You closed your eyes at night and pictured his handsome face. His strong yet gentle hands holding you. His warm and perfect mouth...

Violet's voice calling all of you interrupted your thoughts. You rolled your eyes and made your way downstairs to greet the Alphas. You stood with the other Omegas. Some of them like you, begging to not be chosen, while others did whatever they could for an Alpha's attention. The door opened, and several men walked through. You could feel the arrogance and pride rolling off of them.

Violet introduced all of you. You felt like you were up for auction. It was sick and twisted. There was nothing weak or feeble about you or anyone here. All of these women deserved love and affection from someone of their choosing. Someone who loved them the way they deserved to be loved and adored. You left your body, flying high into the air, your mind conjuring up memories of your Alpha. His lips. His hands. His pointed nose. His green and gold eyes. How protective he was of you. Holding you like it was his last day.

A finger trailing over your neck pulled you back into the room with everyone. You slid your eyes over to the Alpha smiling in front of you. He leaned in, moving your hair out of the way so he could put his face into the crook of your neck. He took a large breath. Goosebumps covered your skin, and you did everything possible to not look as disgusted as you felt.

"I like this one." The Alpha moaned. His lips gave you a small kiss before he pulled away.

"Yes, I would like to have her." His eyes raked over your body. "Whatever the cost." He added.

"Very well, Alpha Luke," Violet said, her eyes staring forward. Your heart sank in your chest. What? You had been bought? You were going to be this Alpha's wife? Panic began to drip down your spine. Your stomach felt sour and sick. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood to keep yourself from screaming.

"When will she be ready?" Luke asked.

"Tomorrow evening," Violet said.

"I'll be here at 6 sharp." He turned and took a few steps before turning back around. "Have her in more revealing clothes." He said with a wicked grin.

The door to your room closed. The lock slid into place. Its sound echoed as a physical manifestation of your sealed fate. --------------------------- "Oh, my god," Dean mumbled around a pancake.

"What?" Sam asked, lifting his head from his laptop. He hadn't slept or eaten in days.

"I found it," Dean said. His face was bright, and his smile wide.

"You found..." Sam trailed off.

"The last house," Dean assured him, turning the computer so Sam could look.

"Let's go," Sam said. His voice was authoritative and raw.

Over the past four months, Sam, Dean, and Bobby had been on a never-ending search. They watched and observed wealthy Alphas. Following them to Omega houses. Sam trying to find you through your scent. Every time he walked away more disappointed than the last. He knew you were waiting for him. Sometimes, in the still hours of early morning, he swore he could feel your heart beating in his chest. He had to get to you. You were all he could think about. He could not rest until you were safe in his arms. Food lost its flavor. Whiskey no longer burned. All the things that once brought him joy felt useless and limp. He needed you. ---------------- You sat in the bath as it was custom for Omegas on their selling day. Four other Omegas sat around you. The water didn't feel warm to you. You had lost all sense of perception of the world around you. You almost felt catatonic from ache and anguish. You no longer felt the soapy sponge on your flesh or the delicate fingers that washed your hair. Your mind receded into itself. Not allowing you to accept that tonight you would be wed. Tonight a stranger would take you as his own. Laying a claimed mark on your skin. Time was up. Your Alpha couldn't find you. And now, even if he did. You would legally belong to someone else in only a few short hours.

This house and its customs. This society and its rules. They may contractually bind you to someone for money. But your heart could speak for itself. Your heart belonged to him. Your soul resided with his. Your Omega was his absolute pairing. A man whose name you didn't even know. And yet, he was yours. And you were his until the end of your days.

The Omega's helped you dress. A white outfit sat in front of you. It was what the Alpha had requested. The top was a lace corset highlighting your breasts with a matching skirt that fell to your upper thighs. The lace was not opaque. You could see your white underwear and a gathering of lace hid your nipples. Although it was clearly made to be removed, it was rather elegant. You looked in the mirror and closed your eyes. Even though this was one of the most sensual and beautiful items you had worn. You never felt more disgusting.

The ceremony started, and you practically lurched forward from nausea. You caught yourself on the railing, descending the staircase as you were told. Another Omega had been chosen as well. Her name was Tanya. You didn't know her well, but having her next to you was helping slightly.

You reached the end of the stairs and saw Luke waiting there. His eyes looked over you with a controlling lust that made your skin crawl. You lowered your head and walked over to him. His scent reeked of wet dog to you. He reached up and touched your cheek. It felt almost kind. Until his hand wrapped around your jaw and he yanked you towards him, your lips pulled uncomfortably together at his harsh touch.

"Mine." He growled in your face. The tears prickled in the corners of your eyes. Then...you smelt him. That delicious woodsy and citrus scent. Your eyes rolled back, and a sharp breath pulled into your lungs. Luke smelt him too. His lip curled. His head turned toward the entryway. The large doors began to shake against their hinges. Your breathing became loud and erratic. The wood began to creak and moan against the assault. Luke pulled you toward him, his arm wrapping around your waist. You tried to fight him off, pushing on his forearm.

The doors finally gave. They hit the house's walls with a resounding bang that echoed throughout the room. He stood in the middle of the doorway. His massive form was emphasized under the milky glow of the full moon. He wore a simple black t-shirt and jeans. His muscular arms were defined by the shadows of night. His face was stoic and stern. He wore a few days of stubble across his chiseled jaw. You stopped struggling when his eyes connected with yours. As soon as he saw you, his shoulders pushed back. His body stood to its full height, his head tilting up in dominance. It was as if time stood still. Your pounding heart was the only thing you could hear.

"'Mega." Your presentation was rounded beautifully by his flawless lips. The moment his boot crossed the door's threshold, guards were on him. Luke sneered, shoving you behind him. Your Alpha pushed the guards away one by one, his large and powerful hands all but throwing them aside like ragdolls. The same Alpha from the farmers market slid behind him on his knees. His body attacking with the same ferocity as your Alpha. The guards didn't give up without a fight. They continued to attack. Your Alpha landed several punches that knocked guards out cold. You swallowed, watching the sheer power coming from him. The guards left the other Alpha, and all came for yours then. His body taking hits from every side. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hands. Luke pounced, his fists flailing. The sounds of a fight filled the room. Hard contact of skin on skin. Low and heavy grunts.

You flung yourself into the pile, jumping on top of Luke. He threw you to the ground forcefully. You got back up and flicked your hair out of the way.

"Go! I got them, go!" The other Alpha screamed. He squeezed himself into the pile so your Alpha could break free. You started walking toward him, but Luke once again grabbed you. You flailed and kicked, and your Alpha pumped his arms to fight him. You spun in Luke's grasp, holding onto his shoulders and kneeing him hard between his legs. He fell, letting you free. You ran to your Alpha. He held his arms out for you. You jumped onto him, your body wrapping around his chest. He encased you fully into his arms. He backed you against the wall, looking deeply into your eyes. He lowered his head and ran his nose over your neck, scenting you. Your eyes fluttered.

"Omega." He mumbled.

"You came for me." You whispered. Your breath was low and deep in your lungs.

"I promised you I would." He moved his head to the other side of your neck. You gripped his shirt in your hands, rolling your hips against his. He groaned in your ear, his fingers digging into the exposed flesh of your thigh.

"Are you kidding?! Get in the fucking car!" The other Alpha screamed, breaking free from the assault. Your Alpha then ran out of the house with you, throwing you into the back of an old but well-taken-care-of car. The other Alpha jumped into the driver's seat and sped off. The two of you looked at each other in the back seat. You were both breathless and wide-eyed.

"I'm Sam." He said, turning fully to face you. You let the sound ring in your ears. His name. You finally knew his name.

"Y/N." You said with a genuine smile. You watched as his lips silently repeated your name. Sam reached forward and pulled a jacket from the car's front seat. He draped it across your shoulders and smiled at you. He had dimples that eased his dominant appearance and gave him a boyish charm. You lowered your nose to the collar and inhaled deeply. You curled inward at being completely surrounded by his scent.

"I'm Dean, by the way." The other Alpha said. "Not that anyone cares." He mumbled.

"I care." You piped up. "Hi, Dean. Thank you for helping to save me." You said politely.

"You're welcome." He looked at you in the rearview mirror.

Dean drove like a madman to ensure you would not be followed. Taking numerous side streets and even dirt roads through fields. The trip lasted a while until you finally pulled into a motel. You and Sam got out; they had already gotten two rooms. Dean went to stow the car somewhere in the woods.

You walked into the motel room, and suddenly everything felt real. This was real. You were with your Alpha. You swallowed nervously, and your fingers played with the hem of Sam's jacket sleeve.

He reached up to touch your face, and you instinctively backed away, cursing yourself as soon as you did it.

"Were you...?" Sam trailed off, letting him fill in the blanks. You looked down at the floor and tried to think of how to tell him.

"I don't want you to be frightened. You probably saw some scary things locked away in there. I want....No. I need you to know that I would never hurt you. You are my true mate." Sam said.

"Don't worry, Alpha. I assure you, I have been kept pure." You said, keeping your eyes down.

"You think your purity concerns me?" Sam asked you, his face tight with disbelief.

"They told me it was important." You explained. Your voice was small.

"Maybe to some Alphas, it is. To me, however, your well-being is what concerns me. I am your Alpha. Your protector. Your provider. I don't care what they told you in that house. I am telling you now that I am only concerned with your safety and happiness." Sam took three steps to close the distance between you. He took your face into his massive hands.

"I am not asking you if you are pure. I am asking if they hurt you?" His thumb came under your chin to lift your face to look at him.

"Not in that way, no." You said, feeling your confidence starting to emerge again from his words.

"Good." He said, keeping his emotions under control, although you did see him bristle. He glanced down and then back up, his eyes narrowing.

"When you say 'pure'...?" His voice questioning.

"Uh. Yes. I am a virgin." You said, your words were shakey with fear as you spoke them. His eyes widened, and his lips parted.

"What? I...Y/N..." His shocked face read so many different emotions.

"Does that scare you?" You asked.

"Not at all. If anything...it makes me want you even more." He confessed.

"Oh." Was all you said, looking away sheepishly.

"Can I ask why?" He asked.

"It just never felt right. I guess now I know why." You touched his face, running your thumb over his cheek. His eyes closed at the gesture.

"Have you done...anything?" He asked, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair.

"Yes. I have done some stuff." You answered honestly.

"Have you ever...had an orgasm?" He asked you, his voice shy.

"Yes." You admitted.

"But never during your heat?" He asked.

"Yes, it was during my heat." You corrected him.

"But I read the Omegas are forbidden...you weren't allowed to touch yourself," Sam was confused.

"They could stop my hands but couldn't stop my mind." You said. The confidence you once had coming back.

"Your mind? You thought about something?" Sam asked, his voice growing heavier.

"Not something, someone." You whispered, turning your head to kiss his wrist. Sam brought you even closer to him.

"You thought about...?" His body melted into yours.

"I thought about you, Sam. Only you. Thinking about my Alpha. My perfect mate. Even without your touch, you brought me to highs I never thought I could reach." You said, your body pressing harder into Sam's.

"I thought of you too, Y/N. When I was in my rut, I felt like I was about to explode. Thinking of you. Picturing your warm and pure scent. Imagining your soft body against me. Wondering what your name would feel like to finally fall off my lips. I could have sworn I could taste you. Thinking of you gave me the greatest pleasure I have ever known. Until now." He suddenly fell to his knees in front of you. Sam's long arms wrapped around you, his breath becoming heavy and fast. His hands tentatively removed his jacket from around your shoulders. His eyes watching yours to make sure it was ok with you. You nodded, silently begging him to continue.

"I am yours." He whispered. His nose trailed down your chest, his hot breath fanning your breasts.

"From the moment I scented you, I knew you were the most important thing in my life." He dipped his head down to your stomach to deeply inhale your scent. His lips caught on your shirt as he moved back up your body. His fingers gripping the fabric of your skirt. A desperate groan left his mouth.

"We are bound from this day forward. And if fate should be so cruel as to rip me away from you, I will find you in any life after this. You are mine. My Alpha submits to you. My Omega. My moon and stars. My Y/N." Sam's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I am yours, Sam. My Alpha. My sun and skies. Take me." You said through heavy breaths. Your hands took his face between them. Your fingertips traced the outline of his lips.

Sam didn't waste a moment. He instantly stood, grabbing you and taking you with him. He lifted you off the ground, wrapping your legs around his waist. His mouth overtook yours. Hot, wet, and possessive. You kissed him back, your tongue finally tasting him. Of all the times you had imagined this, nothing could have lived up to the real thing. The moment his lips graced yours, the cramps started. Your body fell into its natural heat from being with your Alpha. You gasped and gripped Sam tighter. He could sense it instantly, his primal instincts responding to his Omega. Sam's teeth sunk into your bottom lip, drawing a small amount of blood. You moaned into him.

"Claim me." You instructed. You twisted your fingers into Sam's hair, pulling his head back and forcing him to look at you.

"Show everyone who I belong to." You breathed, your voice low and confident.

To Be Continued...

Tagging: @never--doubt @emoryhemsworth @makeadealwithdean @nancymcl @babymxxse @kazsrm67 @zepptte @maliburnee @brooklyn-glen-2014-blog @katherine-ann1 @samfreakingwinchester @idreamofplaid @reconsidering-my-life-choices @clarinette07 @440mxs-wife @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @writethelifeyouwant @squirrelnotsam @prettysourabbie @fanficorwhatever @spnexploration

#alpha and omega #ALPHA!SAM #Alpha x Omega #alpha sam winchester #i have a SERIOUS kink for alpha!sam #Sam Winchester #sam and dean #Sammy Winchester #alpha and omega fic #sam fic #i love him #I Love Sam Winchester #sam series #sammy #sam smut

132 notes · View notes

bitchyglitterfox · 2 years

Text

Part 2: Drops of Jupiter

Warnings: Angst, no one is gonna be happy, lovers to strangers,

A/n: yall I got carried away with this one hahah the words just poured out of me with this I might make this a series because even I have no idea where it's gonna go! Hehehe but I know for sure there's no happy ending for our dear reader and Bucky or will there be??

*****

It's been 5 years since I'd seen Bucky, as well as seen any of the Avengers. The morning after you'd told him you needed to end it, you resigned from the Avenger effective immediately.

Two weeks after my departure my period was late, pregnant was what both the blood test and pregnancy tests had said. Bucky was the father of my daughter Violet, however he would never know, none of them would.

After I left I went off the grid, giving birth to my child in my cabin with a doula. She grew up to be the spitting image of Bucky, his hair, smile, laugh, and of course his beautiful cerulean blue eyes. Sure it hurt that he would never know of her existence but this was for the best, or so I thought until i ran into him at a farmers market in Buffalo, New York.

******

It was Sunday, Violet and I always head to the farmers market for the week's groceries. Today was special however since it was also her birthday.

"Ooo mommy can I get some hot chocolate from Mr. Drysdale!" Violet asks while giving me her big puppy dog eyes, how could you say no to her.

I kneel down infront of her, fixing her winter jacket and pulling her beanie over her reddened ears, "of course sweet girl, just the hot chocolate because we have other yummy treats waiting at home for us!" I say cheerily as I stand once more and let her walk to the stand.

I watch as she bumps into a tall man with familiar colored hair. She looks up at him and gives him a toothy apology and continues on her way.

The stranger however wasn't much of a stranger once we locked eyes, his widening in realization while mine held fear and heartbreak. I swallow thickly as he walks up to me with a small smile adoring his face.

"She yours?" He asks standing shoulder to shoulder with me. I want to answer him but before I can he asks another question.

"She's mine isn't she?" I can hear the pain in his voice this time, I turn to look at him and his handsome face wears a sad smile.

"Yes," I can feel the tears well in my eyes.

"Dot left me not to long after you disappeared," he coughs, from the cold or the awkwardness, I can't quite deuce, "said she knew the whole time about the affair, could see it in my eyes that I was pulling away" he breathes, the confession making his shoulders relax.

"She's happier now, she's in a relationship with some guy named Sebastian, he treats her right."

"Is that right?" I hum out. Before he is able to speak once more, Violet comes running back with her hot chocolate.

"Mommy! Mr. Drysdale gave it to me for free because it's my birthday!" She says smiling and lifting up the cup so I can have a sip as well.

"Sorry for bumping into you earlier mister! My name is Violet! Are you a friend of my mommys?" she says smiling up at Bucky, unknown to her, her father.

He crouched down to her height, the sight ignites a fire in my heart. No, I can't think like this. We can't have this.

"Well miss Violet, hot chocolate is worth being bumped into, and yeah your mommy and I used to be friends" he smiles sadly at her, looking up at me at the end of the statement.

The realization that this conversation may go in a way that it can't.

"Well it was a pleasure to run into you Mr. Barnes, I hope you have a good rest of your morning but we have a birthday celebration to get ready for at home" I smile at him and pick Violet up, with groceries in hand I rush us back to the car.

"Wait-" I don't let him finish as I continue to ignore him, just as Violet waves at him drinking her hot chocolate.

****

Later that night when I am alone in my living room, after Violet has long gone to bed, I think back to my nights with Bucky, they haunt me, even though out came violet from them. What I-what we did, how I was illicit in an affair that ruined a marriage; something I promised my younger self I'd never do seeing how an affair had affected my parents own marriage.

I let the tears fall freely as you pick up the phone and dial the only Avenger you remained in contact with the last 5 years.

Wanda picks up on the third ring, she had been my rock since I learned of Violet's existence.

"Hey, what's wrong? You only call me this late when something is wrong," the worry is evident in her voice.

"I ran into him today at the farmers market" the tears flowing down, making my voice waver, "he met Violet, he knows she's his daughter. God's Wanda I thought after I left, we'd never see each other again, that he'd move on and be happy with his wife again"

I chug the rest of my glass pouring myself another hefty one.

"He was a wreck once you left, he lived in the training room, and lost focus on a mission or two. He really loves you, and it's honestly good that he knows Violet is his, however, what was he doing in Buffalo anyway? There's plenty of farmers markets here in the city"

"I- I honestly don't know, no one knows I'm here only you, what's he doing stalking his ex mistress anyway? Its-"

"Mommy?" A sleepy Violet is standing in the hallway rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"I'll talk to you more about this in the morning Wanda, Vi just woke up, probably a nightmare, sleep well, bye"

Vi walks up to the couch and climbs up nestling herself in my lap.

"Mommy? Why are you crying?" She asks as she places her little hands on my cheeks, rubbing away the dampness.

"Oh sweetheart mommy is just crying because she can't believe you're becoming a big girl now!" I say snuggling her, while picking her up with one hand and the wine glass in the other, dumping the wine in the sink I carry Violet back to my bedroom.

"Come on sweetheart, we have a big day tomorrow, uncle Stephan is coming over," I say while tucking her into the bed, "sleep well and don't let the bed bugs bite" kissing her forehead I slip into the covers along side her.

#bitchyglitterfox writes #marvel #marvel studios #marvel x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader

43 notes · View notes

short-hot-stories · 5 days

Text

Do as You're Told!

By Fugman. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.

We've been adventurous in the bedroom before, my wife and I. We've experimented with toys, handcuffs, blindfolds, watching porn together, and all kinds of other fun things. But nothing can compare to the excitement that we both felt not too long ago.

A friend of mine once told me that I need to take control and tell her what to do. I dismissed it since my friend was divorced at the time, obviously he's not credible. I haven't given it much thought since it was said years ago, until that day.

It was a normal enough Saturday, nothing too special about it, went to the farmers market and out running around. Once we got home though, it was a completely different story.

I had already prepared something for when we got home, I laid an outfit for her on the bed as she was getting ready to go this morning. On the bed for when she came home was a note and a package. The package contained a red lace and satin teddy, a matching soft silk robe. And a pair of wrist cuffs.

When we walked through the door, I told her there was a present for her in the bedroom, "why don't you go see what it is while I put the food away," I said trying to contain my excitement. I could tell she was a little excited by the fact that she had a present waiting for her. I hoped that the excitement would build once she opened the package, I know the excitement was already building in me as the thoughts were already starting to have an effect down below.

I tried to resist the urge to run into the bedroom, nope, I was going to be all business. I walked in and saw her, she was dressed up in the outfit I bought for her. She looked incredible, the red contrasted her somewhat pale skin, the cuffs, still laid on the bed.

"I thought that the note was pretty clear," as I picked up the card and read it aloud. "Babe, you are to put everything in this box on, no exceptions, no excuses, you need to do as you are told!"

I looked at her and asked her, "why are you not doing as you were told?"

She started to say something, "I tried; "

I quickly cut her off, "I said no exception, no excuses." I picked up the cuffs and she looked at me. She held her hands out in front of her so that I could put the wrist cuffs on her.

As soon as I had her hands secured, I led her to the bed and instructed her to sit down. She did as she was told and sat down in the end of the bed. She looked up at me for her next instruction like a good girl. I commanded that she unbuckled my belt and unzip my pants. Again, she did as she was told.

"Good, now keep doing what you are told and I won't need to punish you," I said with a stern voice. Inside I was thoroughly enjoying this new dynamic. "Stroke me," she went to go inside my underwear, "no, I didn't tell you to do that!"

She looked up at me, "sorry," she said softly.

"What was that? I didn't hear you, did you speak without me telling you to talk?" She just looked at me as her hand moved up and down against my tool. "Lick it," I said. She bent forward and I could feel her hot breath over my erection. I felt her mouth open around my underwear and could barely contain myself. I really wanted her to take control, pull my underwear aside and insert me into her hot mouth. I fought the urge, "good!'

"Stop," I commanded, "now stand up," she did as she was told and I unhooked her wrist cuffs. "Take that robe off, I want to see more of you." She opened her robe and let it fall to the floor at her feet. "Nice, do you feel attractive in this outfit?" She nodded her approval. "Good, now sit back down!"

Everything I commanded, she did, no hesitation. I thought, I can get used to this. She sat at the end of the bed waiting for her next instruction. Her hands still wearing the cuffs, but they were not attached to each other.

I told her, grab my hips and slowly drop my underwear to my knees. As she did my erection hit her in the face. She looked up at me, and I told her, "you can taste just the tip, no swallowing my rod!" She looked disappointed, but did as she was told. Her mouth surrounded just the head, she softly sucked and it was driving me crazy. She continued her soft sucking but I felt her tongue slide up and down the little hole at the very tip. Wow, what a feeling.

My hands rested on her head as she pleasured the tip of my hardness. Her hands pulled my ass towards her, and I had to slap her hands. "No, I did not say you can do that, just the tip!" She groaned, but the vibrations it caused around my cock tingled, bringing me closer.

I held her head and slowly slid my erection as far into her mouth as I could. Her hands grabbed and pulled at my cheeks, guiding me down her throat. I held her head firmly with me buried down her throat. I let her go long enough for her to get her breath, then I was sliding back down her throat. Over and over inserted myself deep. Her hands groped my ass whenever she was running short of breath, a few seconds later I would release her.

The more I slid down her throat, the harder I became. I released her head and told her to get on the bed. She did what she was told and slid up and laid back down on her back.

"Spread your legs, I want to see those pretty legs," I said. Again, she did as she was told. My eyes scanned all the way up her bare legs until I got to her center. I could see her lips underneath the fabric, they were glistening with excitement and I had to have a taste. I slid my underwear off the rest of the way and joined her on the bed.

My hands slowly traced from her ankles to her knees, gently caressing as they went above the knees moving up to her inner thighs, and all the way to the thin, wet fabric between her legs. My fingers stroked up and down her seam through the fabric. She took a deep breath in and her hands grabbed for my hands, I caught her and re-connected the wrist cuffs around the bed post. Now she was going to stay put, no escape, she is completely at my mercy.

I asked, "Now, where was I?"

I slid my hands back up her legs, starting at her ankles and moving slower this time. Dragging things out on purpose, torturing her slowly. I knew she wanted my mouth and tongue, but she is going to wait, until I am ready to lick, kiss, suck, bite and whatever I want to do to her. I made sure she watched as I licked my lips, before bending down between her legs.

I made sure she felt my breath between her legs, blowing gently on the top of her inner thighs, before planting a kiss on the thin fabric covering her opening. It was a slow, agonizing kiss for her, but I could taste her through the wet fabric. "Ummm, I love your taste." I said before I pushed the thin fabric to the side and she felt my tongue slide up her wet seam.

She took a deep breath in and I knew that she approved of what I was doing. My tongue slid inside gently, parting her lips slightly as my tongue forced it's way between the wetness. I licked and slid my tongue deeper inside.so I could taste every drop of her. I watched as her breath quickened and deepened depending on what my tongue did.

I did not want her to finish just yet, just come close, so my tongue and my fingers joined forces and brought her right to the edge and then I stopped. She moaned her displeasure with my tactics, but I did not care, I was going to use her body.

The reason I bought this particular teddy, is that it ties in front, so as soon as I untied it, her entire chest was now exposed to me. I unhooked her wrist cuffs and sat her up on the bed. I kissed her breast everywhere but her nipples, I avoided them until I softly blew on each one. She inhaled sharply as I slipped my mouth around each nipple and sucked gently. Nibbling on the nub until she cried out in pain. Then I moved to the other one and repeated the process.

"Hold them together," I said and she again did as I commanded. I moved up and put my erection between her breasts. "Now open your mouth, I want to feel your tongue as well!" She did what she was instructed and I moved up and down between her breasts. We've never done this and the feeling was incredible. She held them tightly together as I slide between them. Her tongue and mouth wrapping around me on every up stroke. Coating my member in saliva, I moved easier between her luscious breasts.

I continued making love to her chest as the feeling of them wrapped around me was making me harder. A couple of times, I held myself in her mouth so she can play a little before I slid back down between her chest. The harder I got, the more she licked and sucked on me. I was getting closer and closer to blowing on her chest, and I didn't want that.

I let her rest for a second before I gave her next command, in fact, I think I needed the rest more than she did. We were both near the brink and stopped. Now it was time to get to it, and make her explode. I told her, " lift your knees." When she did what she was told I took her hands and brought them beneath her legs. I connected the cuffs again and she was holding her legs high in the air. I then pushed her on her side and I got behind her.

Gently nudging at her entrance with my hardness, she begged me to push it in. I continued to slide back and forth until my erection was as wet with her juices as she was. Then I pushed it in, just the head, that is all she was getting for now. I moved back and forth, just dipping my head in and then taking it out again. She moaned, partially because of excitement, part disappointment and frustration.

I started pushing in further and further and faster and faster until I was all of the way inside of her. My pelvis was slapping her ass as I drove as deep inside of her as I could. She moaned louder and louder as she was really getting close to going over the edge again. I was almost there as well, so I stopped, buried deep inside of her. She tried to move so that she could go over the edge, but I held firmly inside of her.

Multiple times, she was on the verge and I would not let her finish. I was being cruel in her eyes, but every nerve endings in her body was on the surface and excited. I unhooked her cuffs and I laid on the bed, pulling her on top of me. She was excited, now she can control the speed, the depth and most importantly, when she finishes.

As she dropped herself on me, my erection deep inside of her, she ground her hips against me. "Yes, baby, I need it," she moaned. I reached up and grabbed her breasts, pinching the nipples as her head fell forward, and she was about there. My hand went up further and wrapped around her neck. I squeezed gently at first and I could feel the moan struggle to get out from under my grip.

She went Into overdrive, bouncing and grinding on my hard tool. She was almost there and I squeezed her neck harder as she struggled to scream. Her body shaking as her eruption came full force, flooding my loins with her juices, I erupted deep inside of her, filling her with my warm seed. She moaned as she hit another climax. I let go of her throat and she collapsed on top of me, drained of every ounce of energy as her body was rocked with her multiple orgasms within seconds of each other.

She layed on my chest as she tried to regain her composure. She kept me inside of her until my soft tool slipped out, and a mixture of our juices followed and landed on my belly. She stayed on top of me for a while, then kissed me passionately.

"Wow, that was incredible baby," she smiled at me as she got up and cast her cuffs and the lingerie to the floor. I watched as her nakedness walked to the bathroom and disappeared behind the door. I took a few moments and gathered my thoughts and then joined her in the shower.

Several new experiences from that day have been repeated time and time again, that day sparked a whole new sex life for us.

By Fugman for Tumblr.

0 notes

worldwright · 3 months

Note

good evening ! im more and more early nowadays but that's bc i have shitty days and i love our asks <3

the strong will to kill myself is still here full force and now i want to slit my throat open :) what a great way to start today's ask BUT GREAT NEWS I CAN STILL GET ANGRY

yay

it's been over a fucking month at least that i corrected someone's spelling in a fic because they butchered a bit too much a french word and I -a native french speaker- thought it'd be good to say to the guy to correct it, i was nice and all -normally i don't really care at all but it was too bad not to correct it yk LOL WRONG THE WRITER HAD THE FUCKING STUPIDITY TO RESPOND TO MY COMMENT AND NOT CORRECTING THE FUCKING SPELLING

FUCK YOU

it's a fucking spelling, everyone misspells from time to time for fuck's sake, just correct it ????? BUT NOPE. KEEP BEING AN IDIOT

and why would i remember that now ??? because a fucker that i don't even know, the only thing Im sure about him it's he's a friend of one of my friends by the fact he's on a friends' discord server where we all know each other IRL. we were all debating about AI videos (OpenAI Sora exists and that's hell) and i was talking about nsfw deepfakes and he went "never saw that", which isn't a fucking argument, and we were debating

and i said so, because that's not a fucking argument. and he said he knew that and i just went "okay /gen" and he didn't understand, so i explained to him what it meant what id just sent, because we use tone indicators in the server to avoid any misunderstandings, and a friend dropped a link to the most used tone indicators, so a short list, because she's nice and because we're all here to learn and all, AND THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE JUST WENT "LMAO IM NOT READING ALL OF THAT" WELL YOU FUCKER JUST GET OUT IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING ACT LIKE THAT

SO I INSULT HIM, RIGHTFULLY OR NOT IDFC I JUST LISTENED TO LEO GOING "INSULT HIM" AND I WAS LIKE "YEAH", BECAUSE YOU GO AND SAY THAT IM NOT UNDERSTANDABLE AND THEN SOMEONE PROVIDES YOU AN EXPLANATION AND YOU REFUSE ????? AND OH, YEAH, MAYBE I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID "IF YOU KEEP BEING MEDIOCRE IN YOUR COMMUNICATION YOU CAN GO AWAY" AND "DONT COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT UNDERSTANDING ME AND THAT YOU SEEMED LIKE A DICKHEAD WHEN YOU ADD A 'LMAO'" THEN YOU DARE TO ANSWER WITH "IT WAS JUST A MESSAGE, NO NEED FOR EASY INSULT" YOU MOTHERFUCKER

so. i didn't know i could still have the energy to be angry, but apparently i can :))))) my favorite feeling :)))) like it is not one of the FUCKING reasons i have so many traumas because my family FUCKING REFUSES THAT I HAVE NOT EVEN A BIT OF A LOUD EMOTION BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING PERFECT CHILD AND THAT I TRIED TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF ON A FUCKIN WHIM

so, to be short, ive never learned to live with emotions :))) normally that's Leo's and A.'s job to have strong emotions :)))) and now we all understand why my main occupation of the day is to fucking flee from my emotions because im a fucking mess

have a wonderful morning my friend im gonna go and read some fics, wanted to continue mine today but that's not happening if i can feel anger (it can lead to self-harm pretty easily and fast, so that's a big no)

oh god, many sympathies, that sucks :'))))))))))

ugh some people just aren't worth arguing with. they're not trying to discuss anything, they're just trying to be a dick and refuse to change their views on literally anything

I'm in my friends' apartment!!!!! trip took a lot longer than planned last night due to train delays, but I made it!!!! had some alcohol and had a fantastic time :33333 we're going out to do fun stuff today :3333333333

gonna get groceries, get food, perhaps get ice cream, there's a really good bakery we can go to....... I'm havin a great time :3

my friend is doing better now!! still not fully recovered, but able to hang out

headed to the farmers market now!! hope you find a good fic to cool off with <3 <3 <3

#pen pal

1 note · View note

boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Amoreena | Chapter Six

Chapter Six

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: slight smut** angst, spencer's overthinking and anxiety, passing out, plot twist, very understanding reader, happy ending, smut implied but not graphic

word count: 6.2K

from the beginning <3

Derek and Savannah planned to come over on Sunday morning to introduce Hank and Amoreena, his namesake and his honorary daughter meeting felt very important to him.

Y/N and he spent the morning cleaning up the house, making sure all the books were away and the coffee was on so when they pulled in at 11 for brunch they’d be ready.

Amoreena was beyond excited at the idea of a 16th cousin, not knowing about Henry or Michael yet either, bringing her total to 18 cousins.

Spencer learned something new about them and the farm every single day he was there. Which he expected, it had been 8 days and he was all but moved in. They joked just that morning about them moving too fast, shrugging it off and living their lives anyway.

Derek and Savannah were one of the sweetest couples Spencer knew. They had a love he admired, it also blossomed fast and stayed strong through everything Derek went through.

Derek was always going to be his rock, someone he loved deeply and cherished more than he could ever explain to anyone. More than a brother, a long-lost lover, a confidant, his best friend in the whole world. If he could live through everything he’s been through and still be happy, so could Spencer.

Amoreena is out the door and meeting them before Y/N and Spencer are even aware they pulled in. “Hey little lady, I’m your uncle Derek,” he can hear Derek’s sweet voice that he only uses with kids.

They walked out onto the porch to see Amoreena shaking both their hands before asking if Savannah needed help carrying her purse. Ever the little helper, she intended on making the best introduction to her new family members.

“Spence, this place is amazing!” Savannah gushed as she pulled him into a hug, and then Y/N, “It’s lovely to meet you.”

“You too! You’re all so pretty, holy cow,” she swoons, “what does the FBI put in the water over there?”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s running off over here too,” Spencer compliments Y/N right back.

Derek gives Y/N the biggest hug he’s ever seen, “you are my new bestie, anyone who loves Reid as much as me is a keeper.”

“I like this one, Savannah you have good taste,” Y/N teases, holding Derek in her embrace.

“We got the best guys the bureau had to offer and stole them away,” she laughed, wrapping an arm around Spencer as they turned to see Hank.

“Well, someone had to put them to good use,” Y/N had an arm wrapped around Derek too, slipping into Spencer’s life effortlessly.

Hank was almost 5, it blew Spencer’s mind to think that Derek had been a father for 5 years now. He was the sweetest little guy, holding Amoreena’s hand as the two of them walked up the stairs.

They had sandwiches and muffins in the garden, everything was homemade and grown on the farm. It was a life Spencer was excited to get used to, they even made their own cheese and wine in the summer for the farmers market.

Every time he learned a new detail about this place it got more perfect.

Hank loved the goats, he crawled right in with Amoreena and sat down in the mud. Petting the babies and letting all the mamma goats nibble at his hat as they got close. He giggled and screamed, petting all of them nicely as Amoreena told him all their names.

Derek was very quick to pick out a cowboy hat and pretend he was southern, trying out his fake accent and making Savannah laugh as they explored the farm, skipping through the fields and kissing in the grass. They were just as in love as Spencer and Y/N, they all got along like couples who have been friends since college.

Like this had been their life all along, nothing about it felt new. It just felt right.

Everything about her fit into his life like she was handcrafted for it, picked and polished before set in a box and hidden away from the world. She was a collector's item and he was a collector, keeping her close and never letting her go. He knew her worth, but the feeling she produced in his heart was better than anything in the world.

Before they know it, it’s almost 3 and Hank is about to fall asleep in the grass as Amoreena reads him a story. Derek and Savanah are laying back on a blanket half-listening as they watch the clouds. Spencer and Y/N doing the same.

It’s wonderful, he makes eye contact with Derek while running his fingers through Y/N’s hair. He just smiles at Spencer, prouder he can even express.

“I think it’s about time we head out,” Derek cuts into the peacefulness of their day.

“We’ll be back, and often,” Savannah laughs, “I’m going to hide here from the hospital, you don’t have service right?”

“Not if you turn it off and leave it in the car,” Y/N laughed too, pulling Savannah into a hug and walking with her towards the house. Best friends in the making, it was going to be trouble for him and Derek, exciting, but frightful at the same time.

Savannah excuses herself to the bathroom before they leave, Spencer offers to help Derek carry his tired little toddler to the car so they can talk. He was excited to hear Derek's thoughts about the day, proud of the life he could introduce them to.

“Can I ask you a serious question?” Derek finally cut into their quiet walk to the car with a very serious tone.

“Sure,” Spencer nodded vigorously, a little nervous.

“Do you remember when we lost that bet in 2008?” Derek started, “JJ and Emily were saying it wasn’t fair, that we were hogging all the sexiness and smarts and we should just donate sperm to help the population?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you actually do it?” Derek watches Spencer’s mind wandering as he recalls everything.

He has donated sperm twice in his life, keeping it between him and Derek the first time, telling no one about it the second time. The first was when JJ got pregnant with Henry, teasing him that he should make more geniuses in the world. Emily was even considering having a baby on her own back then before everything with Doyle went down.

The second time was after Maeve died in 2013 when he realized that he might not ever get to actually be a dad.

Donating again purely in the hopes that in 18 years someone would find him in search of a connection with their birth father. It seemed like the only way he’d be able to be a father one day, and that was right around the time Amoreena would have been conceived if she’s 7 now.

Spencer looks at him with wide eyes, “you think she’s mine?”

“Without a doubt,” he whispers, stopping to put Hank in his car seat and give Spencer some time to panic.

“She’s not mine,” Spencer keeps shaking his head, so hard that Derek is worried it might fall off as he panics, “she can’t be, that would be insane. No way, no I’m not even going to pretend she is. Nope.”

Derek places his hand on Spencer’s shoulder to calm him, “do you know who her father is?”

“No,” he whispers as he closes his eyes, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “She tells people that Amoreena is her fiancé Stephens, no one really questions that she had her 2 years after he died, but Y/N doesn’t even know who her father is.”

“That’s a serious conversation you need to have with her, regardless, she deserves to know you’ve possibly got other geniuses walking around out there.”

Spencer felt his anxiety dump adrenaline into his blood, making him sweat and panic as he turned around in circles a few times. He looked physically drained, not know what the fuck to do moving forward.

“I can’t go talk to her right now while Amoreena is there,” Spencer panicked as Derek finally closed the door, Hank was all situated and ready to go.

“I can bring you home?” Derek offered, “go get your things and tell her that you have to go.”

“Okay,” he whispered, trying to calm down enough to face her.

Walking back up to her house felt like it took forever, even passing savannah as he all but ran, stepping inside the house to see Amoreena reading on the couch while Y/N was in the kitchen, whistling happily, waiting for him to come back.

Amoreena looked up at him with a smile, “are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” he lied with a fake smile. “I actually have to go, Derek needs help with something at his place and I’ll be back later for dinner, okay?”

“Awe,” Y/N’s voice travelled from the kitchen to where he was, she walked into the room with an apron on and a towel in her hands. “I was hoping you’d help me make a pie.”

“I’m sorry, hun, I’ll be back soon,” he assured her, “I love you guys.”

“Love you, Dad,” Amoreena smiled, before returning to her book.

Every time she called him dad it made his heart stop, but that one made his breathing stop too, he struggled to swallow as he turned his attention to Y/N approaching him.

Y/N gave him a big hug and then he was gone, running down the driveway and hopping in Derek's car as fast as he could. Still overthinking everything, his mind memorizing every look on Amoreena’s face and trying to see if there was any proof in her being his.

There was a lot. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, he didn’t want to think about that at all. She was his regardless, no DNA test would change how he loved her. He was more afraid of Y/N’s reaction to finding out.

Savannah didn’t ask what was going on, leaving him and Derek to be as weird and cryptic as they always were together. Looking out the window quietly as Spencer had a panic attack in the back seat.

He convinced Derek to drop him off at the clinic where he donated the sperm both times. Still absolutely pissed off with himself that one of the biggest decisions of his life was the one he forgot about, wanting to know if he could find out anything about his potential offspring.

“Sir, I’m so sorry,” the nice receptionist tried her best to stay calm as Spencer rushed through his dilemma.

“Only a child can learn who their father was when they turn 18, if they choose to contact you it’s up to them. You agreed to that when you donated.”

“You can’t even tell me how many kids I have out there?” He tried to reason with her, “I’m in the FBI surely you can make an exception for me it’s not like I'm going to stalk the kids, I just want to know if one’s going to contact me one day,” he tried everything to get her to open up.

“What’s your name?”

“Spencer Reid.”

She stood and walked into the back, opening a cabinet full of records and pulling one out. She opened it, running a finger along with the document as she read it over.

“You have four offspring so far, none of the other samples used have produced a child, the women were all IVF as well so it wasn’t your swimmer's fault; if you wanted to donate again,” she read him all the facts and somehow it just made him panic more.

Y/N’s voice echoing in his mind, “after I did IVF.” She said those words. He heard them. She didn’t know the father. His name wasn't on the sample. It was anonymous. Everything caught up to him at that moment.

“Thank you,” he whispered, white as a ghost as he tried to turn away, dropping to the floor and passing out instead.

When he woke up, he was somehow back in Derek’s car on the way back to his apartment. Hank and Savannah nowhere to be seen, the radio on low as Derek paid attention to the road. It was quiet, he didn’t even know Spencer was awake again until he sighed.

He didn’t say anything to Derek, instead, taking out his phone and texting Y/N.

Spencer: Hey, something serious came up. I won't be able to come back till after bedtime and then I need to tell you something important that might make you very mad at me.

Y/N: you’re going to make me go grey being this ominous

Spencer: I’m sorry, but it’s going to be a lot to explain.

Y/N: should I get wine or something harder ready to listen?

Spencer: Honestly, I’m not even sure yet.

Y/N: cant wait… love you?

Spencer: I love you too, don’t forget that!

Y/N: as long as you don’t either ♥︎

—

He pulled up to Y/N’s house at 9:30, knowing that Amoreena would be well asleep by then. Unbothered by any crying or yelling that could arise from the news he had to share with her mother.

He was terrified to tell her but he needed to. Relationships only work with communication and he knew that, respecting her and loving her enough to do anything in his power to keep her in his life.

He walked inside to see the lights all off, heading around the back of the house to see her in the garden with a drink, surrounded by little lights twinkling as she listened to her favourite Taylor Swift album, he wasn’t shocked in the slightest to find her like that.

“Hey,” he announced himself to her so she wouldn’t be startled.

Her smile warms his heart and clears the butterflies from his stomach for a quick moment, “hey cutie, did you want me to warm up some dinner for you?”

“No thank you,” he shook his head softly, standing by the gate and not wanting to get too close. “I need to tell you something and you might get really mad at me.”

“Alright,” she sat up straighter, hands on her knees as she played with the material of her jeans.

“I donated sperm as a joke in 2008, but then again in January of 2013 when my girlfriend died because I thought it would be the only way to maybe have a kid find me one day when they turned 18. I never thought I’d get to have a family after Maeve died,” the words fell out of his mouth and onto the patio.

“Oh my god,” was all she said, eyes wide and mouth open, she was completely still.

“I went to the clinic and they won't tell me who my kids are, apparently there are four of them so I have no idea if it’s Amoreena or not and I’m just so sorry for not telling you. I honestly forgot, and I don’t normally forget. After everything that’s happened to me, I just forgot, I’m sure it looks like I found you on purpose or something but I assure you that I didn’t,” he wasn’t sure why he was just dumping all these thoughts on her when he hadn’t even thought them through, but they wouldn’t stop.

“There’s only one way to find out,” she shrugged then, smiling at his confused face. “We have more and see if they look like her.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No,” she shook her head, “I’d never joke about making another Amoreena, that would be amazing.”

“You’re not mad?” He blinked at her a few times, wondering if he heard her wrong, twice.

“Why would I be mad at the fact that you might be her real father and the reason she’s the smartest person on earth? She’s literal walking sunshine, am I supposed to be mad you could give her fully biological siblings? I wanted your babies even if she wasn’t yours,” Y/N paused, eyebrows raised as she made her point.

“If I’m supposed to be mad about you completing our family then I’m furious,” she laughed as she stood up, walking over to wrap her arms around him.

“Even if you’re not her father, you’re always going to be her dad,” she whispered as she reached him.

He looked down into her eyes, the most beautiful and caring woman in the world, cuddled into his chest in the middle of paradise. He couldn’t help but laugh, it was insane how easy it was to love her.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

She pulled him down into a kiss, holding her hand on his cheek lightly as he pressed his lips to hers. She rested her forehead on his as they parted, “I love you more.”

“Doubt it,” he teased her with a smile, pulling her in closer and lifting her up into his arms.

“Where are we going?” She giggled.

“Where would you like to go, Princess? This is your kingdom after all.”

The biggest, most suspicious grin appeared on her face then, “put me down,” she instructed and he followed. Setting her down and feeling her grab his hand instead.

She led him inside the house and up the stairs, placing her finger over her lip to let him know to be quiet. She pulled him inside her bedroom for the first time and he was absolutely mesmerized.

It was like a jungle of books in there, pictures of her and Amoreena all over the walls and the cutest mushroom bedsheets in the world. It was like he walked into her mind, it was calming and beautiful and just what he imagined.

Peaceful.

“We’re not staying in here,” she whispered towards him, pulling him into the closet.

She pulls out 2 black garment bags and places them on the bed before looking through her jewellery box. She brings back a small velvet box and places it in his hands.

“Would you want to do something insane with me?”

“Always,” he can’t help but smile.

“My grandma always wanted Stephen to propose to me with that ring, but he used his own mothers instead,” she whispered. “I don’t want to have an official thing, I already planned one wedding and never got to have it.”

“Okay?” He tried his best to follow along, analyzing her facial expressions to see just how nervous she was, as well as the underlying sadness of time missed. Just like she had mentioned that first night he stayed here.

“I had my grandma’s dress tailored to wear at my wedding, I’ve never put the final version on,” she unzips the one bag, revealing a silk white dress with an incredibly long train.

“My grandpa's suit is in the other one, I think you will fit into it,” she reaches out a hand to pull him closer to the bed and look at it with her. “I just want to put them on and tell you I love you in the field and just call you my husband. I don’t give a single shit that it’s been a week, why should I wait a year to call you that when I can start now?”

He doesn’t know what to say, he’s speechless for too long and he knows that it’s making her anxious but he can’t speak. His eyes turn glossy and his hands shake as he holds the small box in his hands, opening it to find a beautiful ruby on a gold band, surrounded by small diamonds, alongside her grandfather's gold band.

He gets down on one knee then and she pulls him right back up to his feet, shaking her head. “It can’t be like last time, I don’t want to repeat a single part of it. I can’t lose you too.”

“You never will,” he’s finally able to speak. “I’m not going anywhere, believe me, you are the most important person in my life. I would drop everything and hide here forever to keep safe, if you wanted me to, I’m too in love with you to go anywhere.”

She smiles at him with wide eyes and the glimmer of hope returning. She picks up her dress and heads to the bathroom door, “put the suit on and meet me downstairs?”

“Yes Ma’am,” he winks at her before taking the suit down the hall to his room.

He notices the wedding photo on the night table again, taking the suit out of the bag to see nothing really changed since the last time it was worn. Her grandfather was tall and skinny like him when they got married, so he fits into the 1950’s suit almost perfectly.

He straightened everything out in the mirror, making sure he tucked the ring box back into his pocket before quietly tiptoeing back down the creaky wooden steps.

Y/N wasn’t done yet, he could hear her walking around in her room softly as she paced from her dresser to the bathroom over and over, most likely trying to find something in her jewellery box and looking in the mirror more than once. She didn’t sound nervous, her feet weren’t hesitant, she sounded like a woman on a mission, that was a good thing.

He was the nervous one, scared out of his mind with the fear he wouldn’t do this right. That she had dreams, plans and expectations he needed to live up to and what if he couldn’t? He put his face in his hands and tried his best to push all the fears away but they kept swirling. Making his brain hurt, he didn’t want to fuck anything up with her. She was already so understanding and wonderful, she’d given so much to him already he can’t fuck this up—

And then she’s walking down the stairs. Like sunshine; parting the grey skies as the thunder clouds dissipate and the rain washes down the streets, he’s fine again.

“You look beautiful,” he whispers.

Her smile was priceless, “thanks, cutie, I’m so glad it fits you!”

He followed her towards the kitchen where she picked up the phone, dialled a number and waited, “hey mom.”

“Spencer and I are going on a late-night walk, outback, yeah, Amoreena is asleep, can you just keep an eye on the house? I’m going to let Rufus in to keep guard anyway,” Y/N explained over the phone, agreeing and humming to whatever her mother said in response. “love you too, thanks."

She let the dog in like she said she would, handing the overly friendly golden retriever a treat before finally pulling Spencer outside and towards the barn.

They were both in running shoes, it was incredibly adorable for the occasion and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Her hand was so soft as she tugged him along behind her, her dress and hair blowing in the wind as they walked.

She grabbed an old kerosene lantern from the barn, lighting it quickly and holding it by the handle, “you ready?”

“I am,” he smiled softly, still anxious in his core, more so now because he was overly excited to be spending the rest of his life with her.

They continued to walk down past the barn, through the cow pasture and finally entering a clearing. It was full of lilacs and ragweed, yellows and purples blowing ever so gently back and forth under the moonlight.

“This is where my grandparents would read to me, and where they renewed their vows when I was 14, and this is where I got the call that I was pregnant with Amoreena. It’s a very special place to me,” her voice was barely a whisper.

Spencer took the lantern from her and placed it in the grass, it illuminated the both of them just enough that they could see each other's faces and know exactly how much they loved each other without even having to say any words.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Spencer’s words were careful, he didn’t want her to think he didn’t either.

She nodded softly, “I loved Stephen very much, I don’t think I’ll ever stop, but I loved him enough to know he’d want me to be happy, he’d really like you and don’t tell him this but I think I love you more than I ever loved him,” she made light of a very heavy subject.

Smiling at him like he was the world, he fully believed her. “I thought Maeve as it for me too before she died, I was so, so wrong. Every day I discover a new level of love for you I didn’t think possible the day before, I never want to stop searching for how deep my love for you goes.”

“To new adventures,” she whispered.

“And happy endings,” he replied, remembering the conversation they had about the Disney characters they loved the most just yesterday morning.

He removed the box from his pocket, opening it and taking her ring out of the fabric. The tiny diamonds around the ruby sparked in the light, shining little rainbows over their faces as they smiled at each other once again, cheeks aching from all the happiness.

“What finger do you want to wear it on? Seeing as we’re doing this our way,” he compromised for her very easily.

“The middle one on my left hand, you?” She asked as she took his ring out as well.

“The ring finger,” he whispered. “I want you to be close to my heart forever.”

“Okay,” she whispered back, pushing the ring onto his finger first before placing her hand in his, waiting for his hands to stop shaking so he could put it on her.

He pushed it right back towards the knuckle, holding her hand in his after and just staring at the ring. He just married the woman of his dreams.

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself, making her laugh.

“What?”

A tear trickled down his cheek as he tried to smile at her, his jaw wobbling as he tried to stay calm but he couldn’t, he let himself cry softly as she cupped his face with her free hand.

“I love you too, Spencer,” is all she said, pressing her lips to his, finally.

He held her there in his embrace, lips touching as they breathed each other in. The smell of the field and the flowers that were once so strong in his nose, now he only smells her perfume, he almost forgets where he is as they kiss. The world could have stopped and he wouldn’t have ever known, too caught up on loving her.

He doesn’t pull away when the kiss breaks, instead, resting their foreheads together as they breathed.

“I’m going to love you until the day I die.”

She brushes their noses together softly as if to agree, “give me at least 40 years with you, and then I’ll meet you in heaven?”

“We’re already here,” he whispers, “you and Amoreena are my angels.”

They kissed again, just as soft and perfect as before. She smiled at the end, pulling back and taking her cellphone out of the dress pocket that he didn’t even know was there.

She set it on the fence post that separated the cows from the field, making sure it was steady and setting a timer. She rushed to Spencer and pulled him back into the same kiss, letting the phone take a burst of photos for them to remember later on.

“Pick a song,” he whispered into the moment, seeing her face scrunch as she became confused. “We need a first dance, I know your grandparents had to have danced out here at least once if she loved music as much as you say she did.”

“I love you,” is all she can say as she beams a smile at him. Skipping over to her phone and doing just as he asked.

“I need a piece of Amoreena in this moment,” she explained her song choice, making him think it would be the Elton John song, but it wasn’t.

A beautiful piano balled played before he heard the all too familiar voice of Taylor Swift, the girl's favourite. “Seven, because that’s how many years it took for us to find you.”

He takes her hand again, twirling her around before pulling her body into his. The both of them holding on tight as they swayed to the song, it fit every single aspect of his love for her to a T. Like it was Taylor made for them.

“Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Your braids make a pattern Love you to the Moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long,”

It was so unbelievable. She had mentioned the love she felt for Stephen, he mentioned his love for Maeve, both of their faces hard to bring to memory as they fell in love with each other. A new feeling, a happier love, a long-lasting one that wasn’t nearly as flimsy. Powerful and strong like the earth's gravitational pull, he was never leaving her.

She’s singing the words ever so softly beside his ear, her voice is softer than Taylor’s and his favourite thing he’s heard all night, but he’d never tell her that.

They kiss randomly throughout their dance, listening to more songs as they swayed in the evening breeze. The cows coming to the fence to see what was happening, they twirled and dipped and jumped with each other, it was perfect.

She pulls him in for another kiss and she is all giggles, high from the dopamine and serotonin rush they were both on. Like someone injected sugar right into his veins, he was unbelievably sweet on her.

“We’re you serious?” Spencer whispered against her lips before she can pull back any further and disrupt the courage he felt.

“About what? I’ve said a lot tonight,” she teased him gently.

“About having more kids?” His voice is low and his eyes can’t meet hers as he prays she was being honest.

She nods softly, “never been more certain, actually, I would have 10 more of your kids if they’re all as perfect as our Amoreena.”

Our.

He tilts his head to the side and presses his lips together in a tight smile, he lost all control of his tears a while back, feeling them slip down his cheeks as he took everything in. She had given him everything and then some.

“How are you this perfect? It’s been 8 days since I laid eyes on you and you’ve managed to make every single dream come true, while simultaneously creating new dreams I never imagined I’d be allowed to have. You’re the best thing that has ever happened in the world Y/N, I’m so incredibly in love with you I could scream right now,” he is more passionate than he plans to be, she stares at him with more lust than happiness this time.

“Prove it and make love to me, you said you’d rather fuck me at home. Well,” she kept teasing him opening her arms and twirling around as she showed off the farm. “This is your home now, husband.”

“Where should we go?” He felt adventurous, willing to take her against the fence if the cows wouldn’t eat her hair, the thought alone making him giggle to himself.

“What?” She can't help but giggle right back.

“I thought about fucking you against the fence for a hot second and then the intrusive thoughts kicked in and I thought about the cows eating your hair,” he admitted with a fierce laugh.

“I love you so much,” she shook her head and sighed, the same way she did at the museum when Amoreena made her laugh.

That was all the proof he needed. Never would he question how she felt, if she loved him half as much as she loved Amoreena then he was blessed by far. This was over the top.

He picked up the lantern then, handing it to her as well as her phone before picking her up bridal style and attempting to carry her back to the house. He made it to the barn before she begged him to put her down, wanting to skip the rest of the way with him.

Giddy as all hell, the two of them snuck back into her house. Rufus, the best guard dog in the world, was passed out on the couch and didn’t even move as they walked in. Locking the doors and windows for the night before tiptoeing up the stairs again.

Luckily, Amoreena’s room was on the opposite side of the house from Spencers. Y/N pulled him down the hall and inside the room, lightly closing the door before leaning back against it and sighing.

“Are you sure? I never asked you what you wanted,” Y/N whispered.

Spencer just shook his head and slipped out of his suit jacket. “All I want is to have a big happy family with you, where ever that takes us, I’m up for the adventure.”

Y/N was the one who teared up this time, looking away from Spencer and at her grandparent's wedding photo on the side table. She walked past Spencer, brushing her hand against his arm as she did so, picking up the photo and kissing it softly.

She turned it face down and turned back to Spencer, “help me with the zipper?”

He nodded, silently stepping forward and brushing her hair off her back, freeing her from the dress. He pressed his lips gently to her sun-kissed shoulders, surprised by the array of freckles, kissing the pattern they made on her skin as she let the dress slip to the floor.

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her from behind as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulder. She hummed into the feeling, tilting her head to the side so he had more room to explore, her hands cover Spencers as she felt up his arms, still in his embrace.

She had the softest skin on earth, he could spend the next 14 hours kissing every square inch of her. It was all perfect and he wanted her to know it, “get on the bed,” he whispered in her ear as he pulled away.

He picked her dress up off the floor and put it on a hanger from the shirt he had on. She watched with soft eyes as he hung it on the back of the bathroom door, keeping it safe and taken care of while they became a married couple.

He slipped out of the tie and started unbuttoning his shirt, she laid back against the covers, pulling her grandma's quilt off and folding it at the end of the bed. She laid back and waited as he slipped his pants to the ground and finally joined her once again.

She met him halfway for a kiss, holding his face as he knelt between her spread legs, she leaned back and took him with her. He hovered then, barely touching her as she leaned forward to keep kissing him, eventually wrapping her arms around his back and pulling him down.

Skin to skin for the first time ever.

It’s slow and explorative, they take their time as they enjoy every single inch of each other's bodies. She’s soft and perfect, she fits in the palm of his hand like he’s always been holding her. Moulded for her and her alone.

He’s never made love before. Sure, he’s had sex but never in his life has it felt like this… no, this was perfect. It was everything he’s ever dreamed of and then some. Her kisses felt like dreams coming true, her touch so light it was like sunshine on a hot day, just dancing over him.

It was perfect.

He brushed her hair behind her ear, still inside her, as he took a moment to just look at her. Her eyes were hypnotic, he was so dawn into her it was like she controlled him. He kissed her gently on the forehead, “I love you,” he reminded her, for the millionth time that hour.

She pulled him in closer, breathing against his neck gently as they continued. Her nails on his back were amazing, he felt the sharp pain of her grip which only excited him more, fastening his pace, both his hips and where his thumb was pleasuring her between their bodies.

She looked like she was floating, relaxed as she laid against the sheets, blissed-out while she took it all in, panting airy nonsense as she got closer and closer.

She was quiet, they both were. It was silent as possible while they made love for the first time ever. She was everything in the world to him and then some, he couldn’t believe she was real as they both finished and managed to somehow get closer to each other.

Another level of love was just unlocked in his heart, he was never going to stop loving her. That would be the only impossible known to man.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

172 notes · View notes

sleep-safe · 2 years

Text

im a queer, disabled person of color not sure id ever be happy or live comfortably. live without constant fear, be able to transition, have a family. well, im happier than i’ve ever been. My housemate makes coffee in the thrifted drip coffee maker instead of the Keurig every morning so I can wake up to the smell. She does all the dishes, and my roommate puts the clean ones away. She’s deadly afraid of spiders, so I escort them out of the house and clear the cobwebs from around the doors. We always put the kettle on for each other. Her roommate makes us all a big meal every night because they want to make sure everyone is fed. My roommate brings us leftovers from the restaurant he works at and drives us to the farmer’s market. We planted seeds and watch them grow on the kitchen table. I found them a new church that would celebrate their queerness, not just tolerate it. My roommate takes the garbage cans to the curb every week and will always make me some of what they’re having. I steal all his sweaters and they borrow my hats. I mend everyone’s clothes when they rip and sew us good masks. My housemate always forgets to pick up her dishes but always remembers to ask if her car stereo is too loud. My housemate picks citrus from our trees to juice and gets the mail when the other one forgets. I vacuum the floors every day--when my body lets me. We buy our groceries together because I don’t believe in not being able to eat the food in your own home. I fill up my roommate’s water cup when they’re not looking. I leave my roommate the last tortilla and my roommates feed by cat when she asks. Our friends buy us flowers from street vendors, so we bought a vase. Our friends come over to use our laundry machines and stay for a movie. One helped us move a couch on an hour's notice, and we keep his lumber in our garage. My cat sleeps on everyone’s bed (except mine). We make bags to hand out to people asking for help on the streets and our friends ask if they can help, too. We use our old, broken toaster oven to store stuff in, and my housemate hates it but lets us keep it anyway. We named the opossum in the backyard. My wife hits on all my housemates and they flirt back. We buy each other drinks from the local gay café so often that the owners know us. We bought a better couch for our friends to sleep on. Everyone is invited for dinner, there’s always enough to go around. Everyone cleans up their dishes when they come over, and we make sure no one walks home alone. We remind each other to vote and scholarship applications. We proofread each other’s papers. People are good. I hoped for this, I fought for this. I imagined it was possible. I’m so glad I was right.

9 notes · View notes

fugmanssexystories · 3 years

Text

Do as You're Told!

We've been adventurous in the bedroom before, my wife and I. We've expiremented with toys, handcuffs, blindfolds, watching porn together, and all kinds of other fun things. But nothing can compare to the excitement that we both felt not too long ago.

It was a normal enough Saturday, nothing too special about it, went to the farmers market and out running around. Once we got home though, it was a completely different story.

"I thought that the note was pretty clear," as I picked up the card and read it aloud. "Babe, you are to put everything in this box on, no exceptions, no excuses, you need to do as you are told!"

I looked at her and asked her, "why are you not doing as you were told?"

She started to say something, "I tried..."

I quickly cut her off, "I said no exception, no excuses." I picked up the cuffs and she looked at me. She held her hands out in front of her so that I could put the wrist cuffs on her.

She looked up at me, "sorry," she said softly.

My hands rested on her head as she pleasured the tip of my hardness. Her hands pulled my butt towards her, and I had to slap her hands. "No, I did not say you can do that, just the tip!" She groaned, but the vibrations it caused around my penis tingled, bringing me closer.

I held her head and slowly slid my erection as far into her mouth as I could. Her hands grabbed and pulled at my cheeks, guiding me down her throat. I held her head firmly with me buried down her throat. I let her go long enough for her to get her breath, then I was sliding back down her throat. Over and over inserted myself deep. Her hands groped my butt whenever she was running short of breath, a few seconds later I would release her.

The more I slid down her throat, the harder I became. I released her head and told her to get on the bed. She did what she was told and slid up and laid back down on her back.

I asked, "Now, where was I?"

I made sure she felt my breath between her legs, blowing gently on the top of her inner thighs, before planting a kiss on the thin fabric covering her opening. It was a slow, agonizing kiss for her, but I could taste her through the wet fabric. "Mmmm, I love your taste." I said before I pushed the thin fabric to the side and she felt my tongue slide up her wet seam.

Several new experiences from that day have been repeated time and time again, that day sparked a whole new sex life for us.

19 notes · View notes

luna-redamancy · 4 years

Text

Obsession {Thranduil x F! Reader}

Authors note: So, this is a more happy-ending version of my Thranduil fic ‘Crazy’. It is nearly three times as long and my best fic yet (in my opinion). Note: I am writing a part two that will have smut if anybody is interested in that.

Warnings: Yandere themes, obsession, nothing too crazy

Word Count: 3043

Part Two (Smut)

The sun spilled over the tree branches, golden light highlighting a halo around her head. The aged book made her hands look so delicate and small as she read page after page, her mind far from reality as she delved deep into old lore. She was perfect. Thranduil stared with infatuated eyes, his chin propped up on his hand as he watched from a few trees away from her. Her features were ethereal, it seemed impossible for her to be human, but Thranduil knew she was sadly so.

He watched as her concentration was broken, the change in her eyes as she drifted back into reality, confusion overtaking her features. Listening closely, his eyebrows furrowed as he heard several females walking down the path, their high pitched cackles filling him with disdain as he watched her slowly rise.

“She’s such a bore!” The taller one groaned, holding her arms over her head to cool off from the sun’s heat.

“She never wants to do anything, she only wants to stay at home and read her books.”

Her expression changed from excited to confusion, hurt lacing over her features as she rested her head on the thick oak’s trunk.

“I don’t see why you both keep trying to invite her out then,” The smaller one spoke to the other two girls, huffing her hair out of her face. “You only asked her to be your friend so you could possibly court her brother instead,” She reminded, “-And then he died with the rest of his travelling company whilst going to Esgaroth.”

Biting her lip, she sank back to the ground, clutching her book to her chest. Unshed tears lining her eyes as she processed the conversation she heard.

“Interesting…” Thranduil mumbled, a smirk forming on his face. “She’s even better than I thought.”

Thranduil watched as his angel packed up her belongings, her gentle smile now replaced with a narrow frown as she disappeared from his sight.

“Soon my starlight, very soon.” He promised, as if she was upset about having to leave him.

The market was scuttling, people scurrying from one stall to the next, filling their wooden baskets with produce and trinkets to take home. The air was filled with the smells of sauces and freshly baked goods, the hollars of vendors trying to sell their goods filled your ears as you slipped through the crowd, your empty basket clutched to your chest as you avoided getting trampled over by the crowd.

Taking a deep breath, you smoothed out your skirt before you approached your favorite vendor, the farmer.

“Good morning Lady (Name)!” He greeted happily, finishing wrapping up some freshly made cheese.

“Good morning,” You responded with a small smile, examining the lettuce. “I have a deal going on today, five items for one silver coin.”

Your eyes widened in shock, “Really?” You questioned as you felt your smile widen as well. “Must’ve had a wondrous harvest then?” You asked as you grabbed lettuce, a tomato, a few carrots, and a stock of celery.

“Wondrous indeed.” He smiled at you as you passed him the coin from your purse. “Well, may good harvests continue to find you.” You bid your farewell as you move further down the market stalls.

“Oh my…”

“Is that--”

“King Thranduil!”

The crowd was reduced to gasps, everyone bowing once they saw their king approaching on his mighty elk. A small gasp left your throat as you saw him approach, carefully adjusting your skirt to bow as well. Thranduil held a gentle smile on his face, waving away everyone’s formalities as he dismounted.

“Now now everyone, no need to get into a fuss,” He teased as he began looking through the stalls, a thoughtful expression on his face as everyone went back to their business.

“Looking to start a new project?” Old Lady Idra questioned you as you approached her stall, eyeing the silvery blue ball of yarn. “I was thinking of making a new blanket for my bed, the winters have been getting colder and colder,” You explained, looking at her selection.

“Is that so?” Thranduil’s voice startled you, making you drop the yarn ball you were holding.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Thranduil apologized while he picked up the yarn ball, carefully placing it in your hands.

“Oh no, no need to apologize, My King.” You bowed your head in respect, moving to get out of his way so he could examine Idra’s stall.

“No need to move, I apologize for interrupting. I was concerned when you said the winters are getting colder?” Thranduil frowned slightly when he noticed you wouldn’t look him in the eye.

Carefully tipping your chin upwards, Thranduil grinned when you finally made eye contact. A blush formed on your cheeks as you smiled back. The smell of him filled your nostrils, his beauty stunning you from being so close. A warm feeling bloomed in your stomach as you two locked eyes. “Ah,” Snapping yourself out of your trance, you nodded, fighting the urge to drop your gaze. “Yes, the winters are getting colder. At least on the northern tip of the kingdom...” You explained carefully, not knowing how the southern half was faring weather wise.

Nodding Thranduil removed his hand from underneath your chin, fighting the ever growing urge to pull you into his embrace. Your voice rings like a beautiful melody in his ears. “Well, thank you for letting me know. I will arrange for more firewood to be sent up north when winter gets closer.”

Nodding, you gave him a smile as he stepped away from you, Lady Idra watching with a quirked brow.

“Well… I better get going.” You announced, giving him and Lady Idra a nod, fishing through your purse to pull out a few coins to pay for your yarn.

Thranduil’s larger hand overshadowed yours however, placing a gold coin on the counter.

“Have a wonderful day, ladies.” Thranduil dismissed himself, giving you a fond smile, his hand twirling a strand of your hair before he made his exit.

“What in Valar’s name did you do to catch the King’s eye?” Idra questioned, a knowing smile on her face as you shook your head, a vibrant flush on your face. “I wish I knew,” You laughed softly, holding your basket close to you as you bid her farewell, you too exiting the market.

The day felt like it went by in a blur, thoughts of Thranduil drowning your being as you rested your head against the wall above your bed. Your knitting needles and yarn being long forgotten. The memory of his smell, his beauty and the intensity of his gaze now burned into your mind.

“Thranduil,” You mumbled, the very mention of his name soaking your tongue like fine wine as your mind wandered, daydreams of a future together blurring your reality.

“How I wish you were mine,” Your eyes slowly opened, half-lidded as you stared out the window. The kingdom standing proud amongst the trees, a demented sigh leaving your lips as you reached out to press your hand against the cool glass.

---

“King Thranduil,” Thranduil’s advisor knocked softly on his study door, opening it once he received a grunt in response. “You asked to pull all documents pertaining to (Name), of (Father Name)?”

“Correct.” Thranduil’s advisor knew not to question his reasoning for wanting such documents and handed them to him. “Here they are. Birth records, land deeds, reports, anything and everything that mentions her name.”

“Thank you, you are dismissed.”

Searching through the documents, he felt closer to you than ever before. Knowing where you were born, how large your family was, what you did for a living, who you lived with, if you were married. He couldn’t wait to ask you more personal details though, things that aren’t documented.

Did you prefer white wine or red? What books were your favorites, and why? What did you love to do on a rainy morning? Who did you love?

A coy smirk formed on Thranduil’s face as he sat down the documents. Remembrance of your smile, the blush forming on your rosy cheeks, the lovely sound that is your voice consumed him. Looking out his window, Thranduil imagined what your home looked like in the north, how desperate he was to be by your side at every waking moment.

“My queen will soon be home, where she belongs.” Thranduil vowed, making servants passing by pause in fear. Fear for the life that would be disrupted as a result of a toxic obsession.

“Very very soon.” He muttered to himself as he filled a goblet full of a blood red wine.

That night you were left restless, wanting to lay in bed with your eyes shut as your imagination wandered through crafting scenarios with your beloved.

As dawn rose you lifted your eyes from their curtain of darkness, watching as hues of dark blue shifted into ones of gold and red, a gorgeous sunrise to soften the blow of reality.

A frown etched on your face. “He’s a king,” you reminded yourself, “At least you can dream…” You recalled the words of your so called friends only a day ago, “He wouldn’t want such a bore anyways.”

Fetching your shawl, you covered your shoulders from the cold as you walked down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Cutting up your tomatoes, you jolted as you heard the doorbell ring, wincing as you felt your blood rise to the surface of your finger.

Cursing you brought your finger to your mouth. “Coming.” You called out, pulling your shawl tighter around you as you moved to open the door.

“King Thranduil?” You gasped, pulling your finger out of your mouth. “W-What do I owe the pleasure?” You questioned, realizing just how much of a mess you looked in front of him. “My apologies, I wasn’t expecting anyone…”

Thranduil had to pause. The way the early morning sun hit your bare collarbones, how your hair was slightly ruffled from sleep and so carefree looking pulled at his heart. Clearing his throat he gave a small smile. “Forgive me for showing up unannounced, I wanted to check to see if you slept alright? Last night was particularly cold and I recalled you saying your blankets were no longer adequate.”

“Oh!” You shook your head with a smile. “I didn’t get much sleep I’m afraid, but I was plenty warm.”

Thranduil heard every word you spoke, but his attention was now focused on your hand cradled to your chest. “You’re hurt.”

“Ah, yes… The bell startled me, I was in the middle of preparing breakfast when you arrived, I knicked my finger,” You held up the finger, showing the perfectly rounded bulb of blood on the tip.

“Oh my… Because of me,” Thranduil surmised, moving to carefully hold your hand in both of his, successfully pushing his way into your home.

“Oh no, not at all!” You hurried to correct yourself, not wanting him to be upset.

Instead of responding, Thranduil brought your finger into his mouth, sucking off the blood with a determined look on his face as a blush formed over your cheeks. “Oh my…” You muttered, your heart fluttering in your chest as you gulped.

“Because I caused your injury, I must atone for your pain… Would you like to join me for breakfast?” Thranduil spoke once he removed your finger from his mouth, concern on his features.

“You don’t have to do that, King Thranduil, ‘tis no one’s fault but my own.” You smiled, despite your internal self screaming at you for denying his offer. “I wouldn’t want to further interrupt your morning.”

“I just wanted to help you... I just wanted to be there for you...” Thranduil muttered, dropping your hand, refusing to meet your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I clearly overstayed my welcome.” Thranduil stood stiff, the rejection of your words seeping into him like knives as he moved to open the door and take his leave.

“No, no, that’s not it at all,” You called out, moving to grasp his hand, tugging him back to you. “You’re a king,” You began to explain yourself, “I’m just a lowly girl, a bore… I don’t deserve to even be in the same room as you, much less deserving of dining with you… Do you see?” Your eyes held sadness as you forced yourself to realize your reality. You were just a lowly girl. No chance to be with a king. No matter how your obsession for him threatened to consume you.

“You see yourself as lowly?” Thranduil furrowed his brows, his heart pounding at your declaration, his heart hurting at the thought of you thinking so lowly of yourself. “My darling, you are a goddess, a gift from Valar…” Thranduil cupped your cheeks, wiping a tear that you didn’t know had even sprung from your eyes.

“I know you don’t know me well.. But… I want to tell you I love you until my throat bleeds. I want to hold you close on dark endless nights, make love to you until the sun rises, celebrate feasts of starlight with you until time itself ends.”

“King Thranduil---”

“Thranduil, just call me by my name my starlight,” Thranduil all but begged, pressing his forehead against yours.

“T-Thranduil… How long have you felt this way?” Your heart was erratic, your soul howling for joy at the thoughts of your love being requited.

“Since the moment I laid eyes on you, darling.”

Instead of responding with words, you responded with action, pulling him closer by the nape of his neck, your lips coming together in a passionate dance.

“Let me love you?” Thranduil questioned against your lips, relishing in the feel of your skin against his. “Always,” You mumbled in response, pulling away ever so slightly, brushing your noses together as he tugged you closer.

The past week felt like a blur, after Thranduil confessed his love for you, you two have been inseparable. Your belongings were moved into his castle that evening, and your life changed overnight.

Going from wearing homemade skirts and dresses to luxuriously made dresses just to your measurements, you felt like a princess in a fairytale.

“Lady (Name)?” A servant called from outside, worry clear in her voice. “Yes?” You responded after putting on the earrings Thranduil gifted you the first night you stayed in his castle.

A relieved exhale left her, knowing you lived through another night. It was no secret what their king did to the brides that refused his ‘love,’ nor was it a secret of how brutal their endings were.

“King Thranduil requests you join him for breakfast.”

Smiling you brushed your hair with your hands one last time. Excited to know he wanted you to be with him.

“I’ll be out in a moment, is he in his study?” You questioned, knowing he liked you two to eat outside of prying eyes.

“Yes m’lady.”

“Wonderful, thank you.” You smiled despite the fact she couldn’t see you, listening to the sounds of her feet pattering down the hall until she was gone.

Walking down the hall, you smiled at each servant you passed, waving slightly as you maneuvered the twists and turns of the labyrinth of a castle.

“Thranduil?” You called out, your knuckles rapping softly on the door of his study. The sounds of books falling over within his study made you jump. “Thranduil, are you okay?” You questioned, pushing open the door.

“No!” Thranduil yelled out, turning to push you back as you began to enter.

“My love, what’s wrong?” You questioned again, fear in your eyes as he looked at you wildly.

“You weren’t supposed to get here so quickly…”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, looking to the mess of books on the floor behind him. “I’ll help you clean up and we can have breakfast okay?” You reached out to cup his cheek, a smile on your face.

Thranduil’s wild expression dissolved as your hand touched his cheek, nuzzling into your hand and pressing a kiss to your palm.

“I’ll clean it up, don’t worry about it my starlight, it’s okay,” Thranduil urged you away from touching them, causing you to laugh. “It’s okay darling, I don’t mind, it’s not like they’re going to hurt me,” You joked as you sunk to the floor to pick them up.

‘Immortality,’

‘Necromancy’

‘Human Mortality’

The book titles made you curious, tilting your head as you lifted them up. Then you noticed how quiet Thranduil had become.

Placing them back on the bookshelf, you turned to face him only to jump, noticing how close he was to you.

“Thranduil?”

“What do you think of those?” Thranduil questioned, memories of his previous love’s voice alarming in his ears, the refusal of his affection still stinging his heart despite having a new love to focus on.

“They are… interesting topics,” You smiled, not too sure where he was going with his questioning.

“What if…”

You tilted your head as he struggled to seem to find the words to say to you, his chest beginning to heave with panic.

“Thranduil, my love, calm down…” You spoke softly, rubbing his arms up and down.

“What if… I was able to find a way to make you immortal… To be with me forever?”

Your silence was deafening, Thranduil’s own thoughts began to swirl in his head as you struggled to find your words.

“You love me that much? That you want me to be with you forever?” You questioned, your stomach flipping, your insides feeling warm as happy tears sprung up in your eyes.

Thranduil’s eyes snapped to yours, his thoughts of rejection and murder leaving him as he processed your reaction. “I’ll do whatever it takes if it means we’ll be together forever, my sweet.” He responded while wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I’d do anything for you,” His words were laced with honey yet lined with barbs, the meaning of his words sweet yet unnerving as he pulled you into his embrace.

“I love you,” You mumbled into his chest, moving your own arms to embrace him in return. Your words shooting lightning into him, his eyes widening as euphoria surged through his being.

“-And I you.”

Tags:

Forever Tag-

@lady-of-lies @all-things-fandomstuck @fizzyxcustard @izzydaelleth @aquaangel18@raindancer2004 @love-colorfulglittercollection @underthemoon-imagines @ladylouoflothlorien @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @bad268 @legolaslovely @bthtallmadge2 @abesottedlass @wilhelmyna

Thranduil- @indelwen-of-mirkwood @sapphireduck @ashleygrrrl @katiegoddessofmischief

1K notes · View notes

strongsassysexysloane · 3 years

Text

Dreaming

. . . .

A/N: It's been a while. I'm so tired but I needed to read/write something new. To see Jack Sloane again. And my self indulgent brain came up with this.

Sum:- When dreaming becomes too real.

. . . .

The smile that was spread across your lips was completely wiped away when you opened your eyes. There was nothing wrong with the day, it was Saturday, the weekend, it was a good day but your dream was a hundred times better.

It was still only seconds after the fairytale dream you were just experiencing. The detail was so real that when you rolled your head on your pillow and opened your eyes, you were expecting her to be there. She was there moments ago, why wasn't she there now? Your mind had painted her perfectly beside you, in your bed, in the morning light, peacefully sleeping beside you.

Usually the dreams were more edgey and naughtier than a simple morning daydream but this wasn't simple at all. This was bliss. The heartfelt feeling of waking up beside the person you loved most in this world, moments before they woke to see you smiling back at them. Your brain decided to wake you up seconds after your love opened her eyes and then yours shot open. To the real world.

The world where they person you love doesn't know anything about your feelings. They barely know you look at them twice when they walk by or smile whenever they walk into the room. At least you thought they didn't. She walked into your space every morning and your whole world felt right. It was such an overwhelming feeling that sometimes you felt wrong for feeling it but then she smiled at you and that thought faded away.

You pushed the dream and feeling away as you stretched under your sheets. Today you were meeting her at the markets, your usual weekend catch up away from work and grocery shop. You'd buy fresh veg and fruit at the markets then grab a coffee and treat with her before going your seperate ways for the weekend. The thought of seeing her brought back that ache you woke up with. You couldn't keep this up much longer. One day you'd slip up, mention something that happened in your dreams because it felt so real and she'd run away, scared. She didn't scare easily but this would definitely make her turn and run.

Morning, I'm up.

With the morning text sent, you still had the dream still at the forefront of your mind, you got up and hopped in the shower. There was no point pushing it away, it would stick around like all of them do. There was a beep from your phone as you dried yourself with a towel.

On my way, J

You smiled at the initial. She always did it even though she was saved into your phone from day one. Your friend mentioned she never signed off like that with her messages but it was just a letter after all. It seemed silly to you that a simple letter in a text message could mean something more but your brain liked to hang onto that as well.

The minutes passed by like hours as you got ready and collected everything you needed. You checked your front window too many times just in case she rocked up before she messaged you. She always messaged just as she pulled up so you knew.

"You look cute today." She greeted you with a bright smile as you slipped into her Mini Cooper.

There was no hiding the blush that coloured your cheeks. "Thank you. You look beautiful like always." You laughed trying to play off the massive compliment you usually don't let slip.

"Why thank you, I'd like to say I put some effort in this morning but I overslept and had to hurry to get here on time." She explained, pulling away from the curb.

You frowned, there had never been a set time. It was whenever you had both woken up that whomever was ready first would text to see if the other was coming. "You don't have to rush, it's our weekend, there's no schedule."

She thought about her words for a beat. "Yeah but the earlier I get up, the earlier I get to see... The bestest vegetables the farmers have to offer." She forced her classic cheeky smile so you would hopefully ignore the pause in her words.

You couldn't ignore the pause in her words. There was no way you could but you skipped over it in conversation. You continued on about what you were after this weekend, plans of meals you were planning on cooking. There was relief in her posture, her shoulders rolled back and your brain noted this.

She had been dancing around her words lately, if you were really being honest with yourself. You tried not to get your hopes up too high with it but she was pausing in her sentences more around you. Picking and rearranging her words. Like she was going to go down one road at the fork but skipped to the other at the last second. Eleanor had pointed it out on more than one occasion, thankfully when Jack had left, but you pushed it away as nothing.

The morning stroll through the market was peaceful, hardly anything off topic apart from what was right in front of you. She stuck to the topic at hand which wasn't unusual but usually you'd be onto other topics by now. It was like she was staying in safe territory or you were overthinking this completely.

She brushed by you as you were picking up some fruits, her fingers brushed yours, the touch sending sparks up your arm. You watched her flinch, her eyes darting to yours before, "I'm sorry, there wasn't-"

"Jack, there's nothing to apologize for. You've grabbed my hand on several occasions, bumped me more than that, why are you sorry now?"

"You're right. Wasn't thinking." She forced a smile and you heart slightly dulled. She walked away far too quickly for you to gage her reaction. Something was definitely off with her today.

You walked around the market in mostly silence after that, only saying which stalls you wanted to pop into and then once the shopping was done you walked side by side up to the last coffee stand at the end of the market.

"Two large black coffee's with three sugars." She slipped her card to the barista before you could fight her to pay.

You took a deep breath and touched the tips of your pointer and index finger to her palm. This silence was killing you and you needed to get her attention. You were testing how to start the conversation by the way she reacted to your touch.

"Hey, what?" She spun around ready to fight whoever touched her and you held in a laugh. "Was that you?" She half glared with a curl to her lips.

You nodded, "You've been ignoring me since the incident in the fruit stand."

She rolled her eyes at the word incident. "Dramatic much."

"Says the woman who's been keeping at least a metre radius of me and hasn't said more than five words to me since. What's up Jack?" You were far too cheery at the end of that question, like it wouldn't change the dynamic of your relationship henceforth.

The barista called her name so you guessed she'd use that as a distraction. She handed you, your coffee before she added even more sugar to hers. You laughed the first time you saw her do this, asked why she didn't ask the barista to do it for her but she couldn't handle the baristas judgement. You didn't believe it but let it slide. It was probably that the barista refused to tarnish good coffee with the sugar content she needed.

"The way you looked at me this morning, the way you look at me almost every morning. It sets something on fire with in me." She slipped her coffee like a can of worms hadn't just been unleashed and started walking. You didn't a double take and skipped to catch up. "You called me beautiful like it was the most natural thing in the world when-"

"It is, you are." You whispered, hiding behind your coffee cup as she stared at you. You were half expecting a sass for cutting her off but she did this shy shale of her head with a smile you hadn't seen before. Was she shy?

"There you go again. These feelings I have, I've had for a while... I don't want to ruin our.." She stopped at the bonnet of her car, placing her bag of food on the hood and you did the same.

This was all happening so fast. This wasn't how you imagined it going, you really hadn't imagined it going at all. This never happened, you never got to this point in your daydreams.

"Friendship?" She said it so hesitantly it made you laugh and for that you got a shove. "Say something - other than I'm beautiful."

"I'm glad you agree." You jumped out of the way of the next shove and took a sip to hide your massive grin.

"Smart ass. I've said a lot of feelings right now. You're making me nervous."

You take a step forward, placing your empty cup beside your bag and take hers from her hand. Slowly, giving her time to step away, you take her hands and hold them between you. "I had a dream this morning." The smile you had from your dream comes back, the feeling of bliss, comfort and love. You couldn't believe you are going to say what you thought you never would. "I was lying in bed..."

"Very imaginative." She holds your hands tighter so you can't break your hold and playfully shove her.

You just laugh and shale your head. "Nah those dreams are off limits." You wink and she throws her head back with a loud laugh.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." She gives you the mischievous grin you love.

Oh how you wanted to know hers. "I'm about to if you'd let me finish." She scrunches her lips shut to make a point. "Much better. As I was saying. I was lying in bed, I opened my eyes to a new day. The sun was shining into my bedroom, I rolled my head to the side and I was filled with pure bliss and a grounding I'd never felt before. There was this beautiful, stunning woman to my right. She was still asleep, hair tossed from a good night sleep and a small smile on her lips." You think you see tears in her eyes or maybe they're in yours. "That woman is you Jack. I woke up and the world came crashing around me, that I don't have that reality but I still smiled knowing I get to see you today and almost everyday at work." You pause and now you know you're the one crying because her hand slips out of yours and it comes up to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"That's the most pure, heartfelt thing someone has ever said to me." She smiled, that smile you saw in your dream as her eyes fluttered open and saw you. Your heart skipped a beat. "I want that. All of it, with you." She learnt forward, hesitating a second before her lips met yours in the softest touch you'd ever felt. You weren't sure she was kissing you until the air in your lungs disappeared.

"Bit forward don't you think?" She was too confused, her brows furrowed as she pulled away. "To have you in my bed. Thought we'd have dinner first." You winked and her confusion disappeared and quickly became frustration. Something, you guessed, that would happen alot over the next week, months, years.

"Think your smart ass can handle lunch? I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet." She slipped her hand back into yours.

You smiled, leaning forward placing a more confident kiss to her lips before answering. "Think I can manage that." You beamed, getting another kiss in reply. This was going to be fun.

. . . .

#jack sloane #jacqueline sloane #jack sloane x reader

33 notes · View notes

waywardbeanie · 4 years

Text

A Man of Letters - Chapter Seven

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader Summary: It started as a simple hunt for Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean didn’t realize that this single case would change his life forever. Now they are on the biggest mission of their lives, and without the use of cellphones, the only way he can communicate with the love of his life is through old fashioned letter writing. He has done everything in his power to keep her safe, but will it be enough? Word Count: 6931 ish

Series Warnings: Language, slow burn, angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fluff, SPN typical violence (individual chapters will contain relevant warnings) a little meta Chapter Warning: humor (Is that really a warning?) and a little bit of sweet.(Always), angst, spicy (smut), unprotected (ish) sex

A/N: I want to thank everyone who has read so far, thank you for sticking with me! All of the comments and reblogs mean so very much! THANK YOU!

Thank you to my beta’s @winchest09 and @whatareyousearchingfordean without them I would be sunk!

MASTERLIST A Man of Letters

If you’d like to be tagged, my list is open. Just send me an ask HERE: **Make sure you check out the playlist, it is updated every chapter and an essential part of the story**

Spotify Playlist : A Man of Letters

Catch up here >>>>>>> A Man of Letters Masterlist

This series is ongoing!

No Gif’s are mine

Dean “Tongue Magician” Winchester PO Box 323 Sioux Falls, SD 57101

Dear D,

You were right, I got both letters the same day. It was a really nice surprise. I hope that “Sam” likes the brownies. I’m sure they are stale, but I made enough for everyone, so please share them because I know they are for you. Sam literally eats one brownie when I make them. Work has picked up, and my schedule is full most days. I’m happy to be busy when you are gone, it makes the days go by faster, but my bed is too big and empty without you. I’ve slept on the couch a few times since you’ve been gone, I just leave the pillows on, and I can almost convince myself you are here.

I was thinking about the couch night, but now you have me thinking about the bed night, and damn, you are too far away to dwell on that for too long! Also, do not talk to me about me moaning your name in letters because I swear to God I will write you a note that you will have you locking yourself in Baby to read!

Things are pretty quiet here as usual. I went to the farmers market today and bought vegetables. I’m trying to figure out some new recipes to try. I know you said that you were up for anything, just no more butter beans because they taste like mud (which, for the record, they do not!), so we will see what I can do. I saw Mark from the garage there, and he told me to tell you “Hello” and that he is almost finished with the body of the 1971 Plymouth Hemi Cuda. He wondered when you would be back because he could use your help with the new paint job. I told him that the job you had was going to last longer than most but that I’m sure as soon as you got into town that you would help him.

D, I know we talked about the future before, but are you sure you want to walk away? I’m here no matter what, I’m not going anywhere. You need to be sure this is what you want to do for you. With that being said, I am selfish enough to say I want nothing more than to fall asleep in your arms every night and to wake up next to you each morning. I’m glad you wrote it in a letter because I can read it over and over. Sometimes, when you are gone, I just start questioning things and can be a bit insecure about all of it, but you knew that already.

I guess I should wrap this up, I’m sorry you guys are doing more research, but, as always it will pay off in the end. I’m not surprised you set up training for everyone, that is definitely your thing, and it gives you an excuse not to read those dusty books. You guys be safe and come back soon. I miss your face.

I Love You, Your Initial

3 Years Ago

They were a little over halfway back to the bunker, driving through Hastings, Nebraska, and Sam started to worry. Dean had not spoken 5 words this entire trip. He didn’t even want snacks when they stopped for gas. They have been driving for almost two hours, the radio on low, the only thing consistent is the tapping of his thumb on the top of the steering wheel, lost in his own thoughts.

“Dean.” He broke the silence

“Huh?” pulling himself from his thoughts, glancing at Sam.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

“What? Nothing,” raising his eyebrows, he shook his head briefly.

Flicking his eyes to the backseat, Sam confirmed the vamp was still out cold. “Ok, I’ll start. I know that you knew where these vamps were hiding out long before I told you. Instead of helping me, you continued to point me in the wrong direction.”

He rubbed his hand down his face with equal amounts of irritation and embarrassment. “Sammy, it’s not like that I-,”

Annoyed Sam cut him off, “Dude, it is exactly like that, but the funny part is I’m not even mad anymore.”

“Fine, you know I don’t want to talk about this, but you get one question and one answer and don’t get all chick flick about it either because that’s not happening.”

“Great,” Sam smirked, “What’s Y/N’s favorite color?”

Without missing a beat, Dean answered, “It’s a tie between navy blue and dark grey.”

Sam threw his head back with a laugh. Dean’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile, turning up the radio as “Ramblin’ Man” by The Allman Brothers blared through the speakers. Laying his foot on the gas pedal, a little heavier to get back to the bunker to get answers from the comatose vamp tied up in the back seat.

Dean and Sam had left Y/N’s house 2 days ago. The first 24 hours she didn’t go anywhere without her phone, that got old quickly. She began to feel like it was a leash; finally, she went about her day and left it plugged in on her nightstand. Today was Saturday, she didn’t have any clients this morning; instead, it was all the things to catch up from the week. Mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, stripping the sheets, and doing laundry.

She put her hair in a messy bun, threw on her Neil Diamond t-shirt with denim shorts, grabbed her BlueTooth headphones, linking them to her tablet, and set it outside on the deck and connected it to her playlist. Greta Van Fleet’s “Highway Tune” burst into her ears as she yanked the pulley to start the lawnmower. She chuckled to herself as she began to mow the backyard. Dean had mentioned a few times that he wanted to do it, but that was not going to happen. She had put them both out enough, and besides, it was a good exercise for her. Finishing up in a little over an hour, she put away the lawn equipment, grabbed a bottle of water from the “beer fridge” in the garage, and jumped in the Jeep. She wanted to head to two destinations, the grocery store and the gardening store to buy more plants and flowers. Working in the yard kept her hands and mind busy, and right now, that is precisely what she needed.

As she was perusing the freezer section for her favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor, she ran into her friend Jennifer. They had met just a few weeks after Y/N moved to Lincoln and they had become fast friends. After a brief hug, they agreed to meet later on that evening for drinks on Y/N’s back deck to catch up. She stopped and bought some more daisies and headed back home, looking forward to spending the evening with her friend.

After planting the flowers, she ran in the house to quickly shower and wash her hair, scrubbing off the dirt and grime of the day. Finishing up, she wrapped her hair in a towel and dried off when she noticed Dean’s black flannel hanging on the door hook. He’d accidentally left it behind the last time he was here. Walking over, she brushed her fingers lightly over the material and as she brought it closer to her nose, she could still smell his woodsy maleness clinging to the fabric. She rested her head against the door, thinking about how much she missed him already and realizing how ridiculous it sounded.

With a sigh, she left the bathroom walking down the hall to her bedroom, pausing she looked at her phone lying face down on the nightstand. She was torn; part of her wanted to see if Dean had called or texted, but an overwhelming part did not want to be disappointed when he didn’t. She made a deal with herself, she would get dressed and dry her hair, and THEN she would look at it. Y/N did silly bargaining things like this with herself all the time, almost like bargaining with the Gods to turn the odds in her favor. She pulled on a pair of grey shorts and a and white Garth Brooks shirt, chuckling to herself, thinking of when Dean accused her of having more band shirts than he did.

Sitting in front of her mirror with her flat paddle brush, she began drying her hair in pieces, after finishing she put on a bit of mascara, eyeliner, and colored lip balm. Smiling at herself in the mirror, she was pleased with the results, standing with a huff, Y/N went to check her phone. Picking it up, she expected nothing. However, she slowly lowered herself to the bed as her screen lit up, her eyes growing wider with every missed notification.

Dean 3 Missed calls

Dean: Hey, Babe, been crazy with you know what. Just wanted to hear your voice.

Dean 4 Missed calls

Sam 1 Missed call

Dean: Y/N. Is everything ok? Call me when you get this.

Dean 2 Missed calls Sam: Tink, would you PLEASE call Dean? I might kill him soon if you don’t. Jennifer 1 Missed Call Dean: ok, I’m trying to keep my shit together right now, I’m FUCKING WORRIED. I’m just telling you right now if I don’t hear back from you in 2 hours I’m driving back.

Just then, her phone lit up in her hand, Dean’s face popping up, the ring scaring her so bad she dropped the phone. She scrambled to pick it up, pushing the speaker button quickly. “Hello?”

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice boomed through the speaker.

“Hey Dean, I’m so sorry-” she began.

Dean cut her off, “Are you good? Jesus Fuck, I was like a crazy person down here. You’re good, right? I mean you are answering the phone, so you’re alright. Right?” She could hear a slamming car door in the background.

“Dean!” she raised her voice to get his attention, “I’m fine I just left my phone plugged in all day, and I was busy.”

“Shit, right.” She could hear him running his hand over his scruff, “I’m sorry Babe, I know, I sound like a lunatic. We just haven’t been able to get anything out of this vamp, when you didn’t answer, my mind just started going to a dark place.”

“I promise, I’m really fine,” she soothed, “I mowed the lawn and went to the grocery and bought some flowers; just busy. I even saw my friend Jennifer today. She’s coming over tonight, and we are going to sit on the deck and have a couple beers.”

“Honestly, that sounds great Y/N/N, I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you to be careful. We don’t know who sent those vamps yet, and until we do, you just need to watch your back.”

She didn’t want to roll her eyes, but she couldn’t help it. There were only so many ways she could reassure him, she didn’t want Dean to worry about her, Y/N just living her life, maybe she was naïve. Hell, no one has worried about her since her parents’ death. It was a strange feeling.

“Dean,” she began, “What can I do to make you feel better?”

She could almost hear the sheepish shrug in his voice “I don’t know” pulling himself out of that quickly, his voice became stronger. “Could you just carry your damn phone with you?”

Dean heard the laughter through his phone, and he couldn’t help but smile, hearing her laugh warmed his insides. “Of course, I will! I do have a question for you, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Were you really going to drive back up here if I didn’t answer?” The silence on the phone went on for so long that she had to double-check to be sure they weren’t disconnected. “Dean?”

“Yeah,” came a gruff reply, “I was in the garage when I thought I would call you one more time before I left.”

“Oh Dean, I’m sorry.” Guilt niggled at her as she thought of him dropping his plans.

“Y/N, maybe I overreacted a little, but I’m so far away that, if shit went down, It would take me 2 ½ hours to get there.”

“I’m just living, Dean, but I will be careful, I swear. I don’t want you to worry about me. You have enough to worry about without adding me to it.”

Oh, Babe,” he chuckled, “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“So, I thought I would come back up on Thursday night if that’s ok.”

“More than,” she replied with a soft smile, “I miss you.”

“Same,” he replied gruffly, “see you Thursday, then.”

“Bye, Dean,” she whispered. She pushed the end button and flopped back on the bed, heart pounding in her chest.

She missed him, but the idea of him coming back had her stomach in knots. There was no doubt in her mind that she was going to have sex with him when he came back. She could barely keep herself in check before he left. It had been a long time since she had been intimate with anyone, what if she forgot how? She had been fine just shoving her sexual frustrations to the bottom of her priority list, life got its hooks in her, she was more interested in getting her business off the ground, fixing up her house and making a life for herself. He was the first person in recent memory who made her look twice. Now he was coming to stay with her. This time she knew that the couch was not going to cut it.

Dean’s POV

Bracing his forearms on the driver’s side window frame of Baby, he tossed the phone on her roof with a sigh. It’s taking all of his internal strength not to jump in the car right now and head back to Lincoln. In his mind, he knows that she is safe, but his chest still ached. This is why he didn’t involve himself in this type of bullshit. Sticking to the random hook up fitted his life. What the hell was he thinking, dragging her deeper into a life that she has no business being within a 1000 feet of? She is too sweet to get involved in his shit show of life. He was tossed into it the day his mother was roasted on the ceiling. Y/N deserves so much better than he could ever offer. If he had a brain cell left in his head, he would man up and text her right now to tell her to forget it, he wasn’t returning to Lincoln. He and Sam would track down whoever was after her and take care of it. Y/N could move on with her life and forget all about him and the nightmare life he leads. Exhaling loudly, Dean grabs his phone, shoving it in his pocket and pushing himself off the car, the adrenaline of his fear and anger still pumping through his veins. He knows she deserves better than a text. When he drives up on Thursday, he will tell her that it’s best for her.

Eventually, the stabbing pain in his chest will go away and if it doesn’t, maybe this is just what it would be like now that he really knows what he will be missing when he walks away.

Jennifer and Y/N embrace at the door when she arrives promptly at 7:00. It was an evening of a few too many beers and laughs. Jennifer switched to Diet Coke after two. Although she was a little more than tipsy, she was careful to keep most of the secrets when Jennifer started to question her about the black muscle car parked at her house when Y/N was MIA for a few weeks, no one knew she was hiding a bruised and swollen face.

Travis had kept his mouth shut as promised. Sam and Dean stopped in to talk to him about the “guys” who followed Y/N home and assaulted her. He wanted his bar as far away from that controversy as possible.

They ended the evening with more hugs and promises to get together again soon, Y/N made her way to her bedroom, phone in hand, drunkenly stripping off clothes all the way down the hall. Climbing under the sheets, she started to plug in her phone but changed her mind.

Dean’s phone buzzed with a text message at 1:17 a.m, he was sitting in the library nursing his third whiskey of the night. Picking up his phone, he thumbed it open to see it was a text from Y/N. As he opened the message, his mouth slowly began to gape open. Staring back at him was a selfie. Y/N was laying down, her hair fanning around her on the pillow, a sweet smile playing on her lips. He could see the curve of her breasts, turning the phone back and forth he was sure he could have seen her nipple. She was totally naked in that massive bed without him. The simple text accompanying the picture is what truly did him in.

Babe: Wish you were here

“FUCK!” he groaned loudly, closing his eyes, throwing his head back

Thursday came in a blink of an eye for both of them. Dean had texted Y/N to let him know he would be leaving around noon. It was 10:00 a.m. now, his anxiousness already kicked into high gear. Sam walked into the war room, a mug of coffee in his hand, still in his blue and black plaid pajama pants with a grey long sleeved T-Shirt. His hair pointing in every direction, bare feet smacking against the tile floor. He stopped abruptly when he spotted Dean pacing a path back and forth. He was already dressed in jeans and boots topped with a dark grey T-shirt underneath a burgundy and grey flannel. An empty coffee cup sitting on the map table along with his duffle bag.

“Dean?” he questioned.

“Yeah?” he responded, continuing to pace.

“What’s the deal? What are you doing?” He fully entered the room, placing his mug on the table studying Dean.

“I’m thinking! What are you doing? I just got shit on my mind,” he barked back, continuing to pace, stopping to look at his phone, before beginning his walk again.

“Aren’t you going to Y/N’s today?” Sam questioned, “I thought you would be happy. Instead, you’re stalking around here like an angry bear.”

Dean’s angry gaze snapped to Sam, confirming his characterization. “I’m coming back tonight.” Sam paused in the middle of sitting, standing back up, “Dude, WHAT?”

Running his hand roughly over his face, he sighed. “I got some space; after the other day, when I couldn’t reach her, it made me realize she doesn’t need to be dragged into this life. It’s too much.”

“And there it is” Sam threw his hands in the air, frustration written all over his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean growled.

“Every.Fucking.Time,” he emphasized each word pointing his finger at the older Winchester. "Whenever you find a little bit of happiness, you start sabotaging yourself, it’s always something. This life sucks, you’re too busy, it’s the apocalypse, someone or something needs you more, you just shut down and tell yourself it’s not worth the trouble.”

Dean just stared at his brother as he continued to ramble.

“Just once Dean, just one time can you put yourself first?” he gestured toward him. “Yes, I know Y/N was a case and you are pissed off that the vamp won’t talk, you’re worried that your life is going to splash on her. She is stronger than you think, you think you need to pile all of this on your shoulders, you don’t. I have never seen you, my own brother, let his guard down around someone before.”

“She’s too good Sammy, she doesn’t deserve-”

“What?” Sam questioned, gathering momentum again “She doesn’t deserve to be happy? She doesn’t deserve to have someone care about her? You-” he pointed at him once more, “are both crazy about each other. I could see it on your faces every time I was in the same room with you both. You have earned the right to be happy.”

Dean crossed his arms contemplating Sam.

“Just do me a favor, would you?” Go up there and just see her, stay the three days, like you planned, see what happens. Promise me you won’t go up there halfcocked trying to tell her, like you always do to everyone, that you know what’s best. Leave your bullshit baggage here and just go see her.”

“Whatever,” Dean grumbled, hiking his bag on his shoulder as he picked his keys off the table, striding towards the garage, “I think you need to mind your own damn business.”

“When has that ever happened before?” Sam called after him.

As Dean began to drive to Lincoln, Y/N was running around nerves and excitement, twisting her gut. She had showered, shaved everywhere, lotioned up, fixed her hair, letting it flow down her back instead of the ponytail or messy bun look and she had applied light makeup. Looking down at her bed, almost every article of clothing she owned was spread out. Y/N picked up all of her dresses and hung them back in the closet. If she wore a dress, he would know that she was trying too hard.

“This is ridiculous!” she thought to herself as she started shoving clothes back into drawers. She settled on a pair of denim cutoff shorts and a sleeveless black and white blouse that cut in at the shoulders and tied at the back of her neck, flowing to mid-hip. Picking up the remainder of clothes strewn about, she muscled them back in her closet, slamming the door. She checked herself out in the mirror, happy with the tan legs and arms on display. Walking out into the living room, she started to feel fidgety. She had serious thoughts about going to work in the garden, but she would have to shower all over again. After wandering around the house, she checked her phone at 1:00. She had two hours left. Flopping on the couch, she flipped on the television and began channel surfing, trying to zone out.

As Dean sped up the highway to Y/N’s house, the conversation with Sam this morning was a consistent loop in his head. Actually, it was more of a Sam tirade. Dean knew what was best, right? Nip it in the bud before one of them could get hurt. She really wasn’t what he needed in his life, he told himself. Unattached works best for him. An after bar closing fling to get rid of the itch, then back to living life. No expectations, no texts, no I’ll-call-you-laters. But if that is what he wanted, then why did it make him sad and angry all at once?

Twenty minutes outside of Lincoln, he stopped for gas, seriously considering calling her to say he couldn’t make it. Sure, she might be disappointed, but she would get over it, wouldn’t she? No, he chastised himself, he would do the right thing and tell her face to face. He owed her that, at the very least. Looking at his watch, he realized that he had made a good time between leaving the bunker early so Sam would quit bitching at him and no traffic or cops on the 2 lane highway. He would be at her house at 1:30. Jumping back in Baby, he cranked the ignition “The Real Love” by Bob Seger blared through the speakers, it was a slow one, he reached down to flip the channel but paused but as the lyrics began to speak to him.

I think I’ve found The Real Love Genuine and true I think it’s really come my way today Babe I think it’s really you

I remember moments looking in your eyes Could have sworn I saw the spark of love babe Flickering inside

I’ve been around this track And the only thing I lack Is The Real Love

Placing his hand back on the wheel, his knuckles turned white as he squeezed, the pressure in his chest overwhelming him as he blinked back tears. His mind and heart screaming, “Don’t do this!!” Angrily, he threw Baby in drive, grinding his teeth together and snapping his jaw. He jammed his foot on the gas, leaving tire treads next to the pumps. The Impala fishtailing as he exited to the street heading towards Y/N house. The pain crashing through him as the verses washed over him.

Every time I see you, every time we touch I can feel the way you feel for me Babe And it means so much

And every time you look at me It’s just the way it all should be In The Real Love

Oh darlin’ darlin’ darlin’ Stay with me stay I long to see you in the morning sun Everyday Everyday

So until that moment When I take your hand I’m gonna try to do my very best Babe To prove that I’m your man

I’m gonna do my very best I’m not gonna rest Until we’ve got The Real Love

He was in agony, convincing himself it was what he deserved thinking about what he was about to do.

Hearing the deep rumble of Baby, Y/N sat up on the couch, flinging the remote on the coffee table. Her heart began thundering in her chest as she looked at the clock 1:28 p.m. “It’s too early, it can’t be him. He said 3:00” she thought. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her, almost unwilling, afraid to be disappointed that it was another car, but she knew. She would recognize the sound of his car anywhere. The screen door opened with a squeak as she stepped on the porch as Dean drove up the driveway. She shoved her hands in her front pockets to appear calm, but she could not wipe the huge grin off her face nor the heat burning her cheeks.

Dean turned off Baby and sat there for a moment, squeezing the steering wheel, flexing his jaw as he tried to get his bearings together. He knew what had to be done, he couldn’t draw it out. “Just cut to the chase, short and sweet. Get it over and done with and let her live in peace,” he told himself, until he glanced out the window and saw her on the porch.

The ice that he tried to form around his heart cracked wide as he looked at her beautiful, smiling face. Never in his life could he recall someone so thrilled to see him. She was pure sunshine that spread light through him as he looked at her. Pulling the metal handle, he got out of the car, slamming the heavy door behind him. Her hands were in her pockets, but she was so happy she was almost vibrating. As he walked towards her, all he could hear was Sam’s voice yelling in his head, “leave your bullshit baggage here! You have earned the right to be happy!”

Each step that he took melted the ice a little more, stopping in the grass, he matched her smile and opened his arms. She was off the porch running to him. She jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist as he locked her in his embrace. She buried her face in his neck as he nuzzled her hair, breathing her in.

“You know,” she whispered, smiling into his neck, “when I thought about today, I always imagined I would have been much cooler.”

Chuckling, he pressed a kiss against her temple, “I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.” The truth is, had she been calm, cool, and collected, Dean would not have questioned his stupidity until he was headed back to the bunker. By that time, it would have been too late, and he would have had to live with his decision no matter what the ache in his chest told him.

Setting her on her feet, bending, he pressed a firm kiss on her lips, lingering as the last bits of ice melted around his heart. He wanted to tell her what he had driven up here to do; he just couldn’t yet. What if he scared her? What if she stopped looking at him with unconditional acceptance? After everything he had shared with her, the killings, the monsters, and the Mark of Cain, she rolled with it all as if he was telling her how he changed the oil in Baby. She was interested and asked questions but never judged him. Telling her most of his secrets on the couch was never what he meant to do, but she pulled it out without even trying. What if telling her he was going to look at him differently? He couldn’t handle that, his chest hurt to even think that. What if it broke what has been so carefully built. What if it broke her? He couldn’t do that. The thought that he was actually going to come up here and tell her it was over made him feel lightheaded.

Pulling back, she took his hand in hers with a smile. “I hope you’re hungry tonight. I made steak, twice baked potato, corn on the cob and...” she drawled, wiggling her eyebrows, “pecan pie.”

“Wow,” he chuckled “you didn’t have to do all of that.”

She lifted one shoulder, slightly embarrassed, “I wanted to.”

Squeezing her hand, he murmured, “thank you.”

Smiling bright at him, she opened the screen door, Y/N entering and pulling Dean with her. The house smelled like pie. He didn’t realize how much he missed being with her in her space until he walked in the door. The smell, the feeling of hominess solidified his decision to listen to Sam’s advice. Maybe his little brother knew something, after all.

Dean grabbed two bottles of beer out of the refrigerator, walking out on the back deck. Just being close to her, he could feel a weight lifting off him as he comfortably settled back into their little routine. He would always twist off the bottle top for her and hand her the beer. Even if she brought the beers out, she gave them both to him. When both bottles were open, they would clink the bottlenecks together before their first drink. It was the little things like this that made him ridiculously happy.

Sitting on the deck, they shared different things from the week, there were no awkward moments or pause in the conversation. It just flowed as it did on the couch. Dean tried to keep it light, telling funny stories about Sam as Y/N’s laughter rang out, filling him with a warmth he never knew he needed., She would reach out and touch him, brushing her fingers against his knee or grasping his arm when she was making a point. He looked forward to each touch, desire shuttering through him every time. As the afternoon slid into the evening, Dean would graze her upper arm with a smile, just to see her shiver. He felt powerful that it was his touch doing that to her.

Time flew by as the cold beers went down smoothly. Soon it was time to light the grill and cook up the steaks as she put together the side dishes. They decided to eat at the pub table on the deck, lighting the lanterns as the sun began to set and soft music played through the hidden speakers. Y/N watched Dean eat dinner as she moved the food around her plate. She watched him as they talked through dinner, either he wasn’t nervous or could chew through anything. She was hungry but only took a few bites here and there. The later it got, she began to get keyed up. She felt like she knew how the evening would end; however, her insecurities made her start to question everything. After dinner, they loaded the dishwasher and made coffee for both of them. It was very domestic, like all the pieces were snapping into place. Dean sat down his mug as the crisp sound of an acoustic guitar wafted through the sound system. “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman. The notes carried into the darkness as the deck was illuminated by the hanging lanterns.

Reaching out his hand he beckoned to Y/N, “dance with me.”

With a shy smile, she accepted his hand as he led her to the middle of the deck and took her in his arms. Her heart began to double-time in her chest as she looked into Dean’s eyes and saw the heat reflected back down on her. He pulled her close as they moved through the song and she could not help but to be struck by the lyrics.

Give me one reason to stay here And I'll turn right back around Give me one reason to stay here And I'll turn right back around Said I don't want leave you lonely You got to make me change my mind

Ducking his head to brush his lips to hers, the sizzle that has built between them all night, ignites. He wants this woman more than he has ever wanted anyone in his life. In a rush of uncontrollable desire, Dean cups Y/N’s face and pulls her to him, crashing his lips greedily to hers. The first touch of his mouth on hers and she threw her arms around him, pressing her body against his. The intense desire exploded between them; the compelling need to claim her, lick her, have her, drove him to the brink of insanity. He opened her lips with his, his tongue sliding into her mouth, bringing out a throaty moan that almost pushed him over the edge. He glided his hand down her back, cupping one of her round cheeks with his palm as he roughly pulled her against his erection; she gasped with pleasure as she began to grind herself onto him, her own arousal dictating her actions.

Picking her up, she wrapped her legs around him as he walked them into the house, down the hall into the bedroom, their mouths only moving apart to gasp for air before devouring each other once more. The dance of their tongues did nothing to quench her thirst for him since they had initially started, and she found herself rubbing against him in an attempt to ease her aching core. Setting her down on her feet in front of the bed, she looked up to see Dean’s eyes had changed to a dark smoldering green; the lust reflected back to her, making her tremble with yearning.

“I need you so much,” he rasped.

“God, me too,” she whimpered.

A smile spread across his face as he hooked his index finger along the waistband of her shorts, dragging them down her tan legs to her ankles. On his knees in front of her, he placed a soft kiss on her belly button, his tongue flicking her hoop piercing.

“So fucking hot,” he murmurs as her skin erupts in goosebumps, a shiver of excitement moving up her spine as she runs her hands through his soft brown hair.

Gently pushing her back on the bed, he pulled her to the edge, his mouth mere inches from her slick heat. Moving his face slightly, he brushed the inside of her thigh with his scruff, pulling a moan from her lips. She could feel his warm breath against her clit and began to squirm.

“Please Dean,” she begged. He lay his muscled forearm across her hips, pinning her to the bed.

“Shh,” he whispered as his eyes met hers, his intense look scorching her skin. “I want to look at you, I’ve done nothing but think about you like this for weeks, just want to enjoy the view for a moment.”

She let her head fall back on the mattress, laying her arm across her closed eyes, her body buzzing as it pleaded for relief. Every second that ticked by, the intensity coiled in her belly, convincing her that she will burst into flames any second. She jerked as she felt his flattened tongue lick upwards along her damp slit, teasing her. His lips stopped at her clit, humming in satisfaction.

“Jesus, Dean,” she moaned, grasping the sheets on either side of her, “I can’t do this, it’s too much,” she cried with frustration.

Chucking, he licked her again before swirling his tongue around her sweet spot. A sound ripped from her throat that was a mix between a whine and a curse. “That’s it, Y/N,” he growls against herm “let go, I want to feel you cum.”

“No, I want to feel you inside me.” Her arms stretched to reach him, but he leaned back, just out of reach.

“You will,” he promises “but I need this first.” His tongue delved into her wet sweetness as he buried two fingers inside her, coaxing her to climax. She felt the white-hot heat building inside her as he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking one last time, hurdling her over the edge while crying out his name. Dean was relentless, lapping up everything Y/N had given him before he glanced up at her writhing form, his chin glistening in the dim light. It was a sight that made Y/N swallow hard, the man between her legs had given her an orgasm in less than a few minutes so her mind was reeling with else he had in store for her.

“I need you, Dean.” Those four words that bled from her lips sent Dean into a frenzy.

In haste, he removed his boots, socks, jeans, and boxers before he climbed up the mattress, pulling Y/N along with him. Situated in the middle of the bed, he settled between her legs, his hard length nudging at her. Resting his forearms on either side of her head, he brushed his lips over hers as she moved her hands to entwine her fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. Her legs then wrapped around his waist, urging him to enter her but he held back, his body taut with the effort.

“Protection?” he asks softly. “IUD,” she answered breathlessly, desperate for him to fill her. “Oh god.””

“It’s Dean” he husked playfully, his voice deep and gruff.

Kissing down her neck; cupping her breast in his hand, he rolled her taut nipple between his thumb and forefinger, a hiss of pleasure rushing from her lips as he took her nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue over the bud before nipping it gently with his teeth. He moved to the other breast giving it equal treatment. Steadily he slowly made his way back up her body, peppering her skin with kisses as he reached her mouth, claiming her lips again in a searing kiss as he lined himself up. He slowly pushes his impressive shaft inside of her as her body stretches around his girth, tightly squeezing and slowly accommodating him.

“Y/N,” he breathes between clenched teeth, “Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long, you feel so damn good.”

She murmured her approval as her hands wrapped around him, her fingers digging into his rippling back muscles with each thrust. She had fantasized about this so often, but the reality eclipses anything her imagination had come up with. His mouth moved down her exposed neck as her hands blindly explored his body. Their dual moans mingled in the bedroom as their sweat-slicked bodies met. She gripped his shoulders as they both barreled towards release.

“Babe, I’m so close,” he grits out, his rhythm stuttering. She plants her feet on the bed, meeting him thrust for thrust.

“Dean!” she cries as another orgasm rips through her body. She comes undone, her insides clench and twist around him as she digs her fingers into his back as he feels her flutter around him. Groaning her name, he buries himself deep inside her, allowing euphoria to wash over him as he coated the inside of her walls.

Breathless, he nearly collapsed on top of her but managed to hold himself up on shaky arms as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair with a smile. He leaned down to place a sweet kiss on her mouth before laying on his back next to her as they both tried to catch their breath. Turning his head, he saw her blissed-out face staring back at him with a sleepy smile playing on her lips. He gathered her still shaking body to him, wrapping his arms around her as she rested her head on his hard chest with a satisfied sigh. She snuggled into him as he reached down to pull the sheet over them both falling into an exhausted sleep. He was so glad he didn’t listen to his own thoughts and allowed himself to enjoy being with her. The woman that had turned his life upside down.

Chapter 8

Tags: @winchest09 @katehuntington @whatareyousearchingfordean @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @superfanficnatural @deanwanddamons @janicho88 @talesmaniac89 @anathewierdo @compresshischest09 @supernatural-bellawinchester @jensengirl83 @this-is-what-im-reduced-to @ellewritesfix05 @moron225 @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @unicornqu33n17 @swinchester27@ @deans-baby-momma @squirrelnotsam @clumsy-nerd104 @sarahbaker2010 @supernatural-love14 @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @angelhearts1012 @nothinbuttrouble2 @cookiechipdough @lady-pswrld @peachyafshawn @notan-applepielife

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester #dean winchester x y/n #reader insert #Dean Winchester fluff #dean winchester smut #slow burn #dean winchester series #a man of letters #waywardbeanie

104 notes · View notes

theotherackerman · 3 years

Text

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

NOTES:

Friday January 22nd

chapter twenty-five: said i'm fine but it wasn't true

It was Mikasa and Levi’s grandfather’s birthday.

Mikasa only knew it was by the calendar in the kitchen.

“He was an ass anyway. You didn’t miss much by not knowing him,” Levi informed her as he did every year.

Armin and Eren left that afternoon.

--------------------

Apparently being a dumbass was contagious.

While Zeke was trying to process the file Levi had given him, Armin had dropped Eren off back at the house on Friday morning.

"Niccolo and Sasha broke up," Eren informed him. "Well, not that they were actually together yet…"

Zeke groaned. "Why?"

"Apparently, he had some issues with her still being friends with Connie...is Pieck drunk on our couch? It's not even the afternoon!"

"You're one to talk, tiny Jaeger," Pieck said from the couch.

"Oh see that dumbass there just broke up with her boyfriend too," Zeke said as he pointed at her.

"He wasn't my boyfriend!"

"Wait, is this the mystery guy? Who was he?"

Pieck face planted into the couch and mumbled something that Eren and Zeke didn't understand.

"Is she drunk?" Eren asked him.

"On sugar probably. She already ate the last of the ice cream."

Eren didn’t say anything as he went to his room upstairs.

Zeke looked over the still face planted Pieck.

“Will you go talk to him already? It is not too late to go back and tell him you are a dumbass,” Zeke said as he looked at the scans of the file on his computer.

“It is! I broke his heart and now he’s going to go out with a younger woman.” Pieck said as she sat up.

Why did Zeke have to be the only sane one in his group of friends?

“You didn’t see his face, Zeke. I destroyed him and just left. Without looking back.”

“Pieck...go back. Go admit your fuck up.”

Zeke had seen Pieck cry a handful of times. Once when her father had been diagnosed with cancer and the other when Dina had died.

But not like this.

Pieck hadn’t been in many relationships. She always said things like she was allergic to relationships or why waste time on something that statistically wouldn’t work out. No, Pieck was married to her art.

It was this moment that Zeke realized Pieck had said all of these things to keep herself safe from this.

The tears were streaming down her face.

Eren came downstairs and stopped there.

“Pieck….” Eren said as he crossed to Pieck.

“I just see him in my head. I go back and he’s already with her. She’s so much younger and prettier than I am. I just...I can’t. Eren, I’m sorry,” Pieck apologized.

“Why?” Eren asked.

Zeke moved from the table over to sit next to Pieck.

“He’s your friend and you’re going to find out very soon. It’s Jean. I’m sorry,” Pieck began crying more.

Zeke did not have the first clue about what to do. Neither did Eren.

“I’m going to make a phone call,” Eren said before stepping out of the room.

“Don’t! It has to be over. I don’t want to feel this….anymore..”

“Okay,” Eren said. “I won’t call Jean.”

Eren stepped out of the room.

After what happened with Armin and Mikasa, Eren said he wouldn’t lie about things like this anymore. But Eren had to lie this time.

He went out of the room and pressed Jean’s contact in his phone.

“What do you want, Jaeger? Now is not a good time,” Jean’s voice rang out on the other side of the phone.

“Are you in love with Pieck?” Eren asked.

“What? Why is that any of your business?”

“Because she’s crying to Zeke in my living room right now.”

“She’s the one who ended it. Not me! So don’t come at me about it.”

“I’m not. I just..”

“What do you want me to do, Eren? Beg her to stay? I told her just to say the word and I’d tell my mom not to set me up on a date. I told her I loved her. She said she didn’t feel the same. She said she didn’t love me and it was just sex. So no, I’m not fucking begging her when she’s made her feeling perfectly clear. We’re not you and Mikasa. If she wanted to be with me, she had the chance.”

Eren couldn’t argue with that.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said after a moment.

“It’s whatever. I’ll bounce back. I mean how can I not? I’m me.”

“If you need to talk…”

“You’d be the one I’d call?”

“If anyone knows about losing the one they love…”

“Well, you’ve got a point there. You do know about fucking things up, don’t you? You idiot. How is that going by the way?”

“Good.”

“Good. Don’t do that again.”

“Oh. Don’t worry. I won’t. By the way, why didn’t you make a move on Mikasa when we were broken up?”

“Because unlike you, I’m not an idiot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dropped that idea the day I asked her out and she turned me down. She told me she had feelings for you and then when I saw you two together the next day, I knew. You two were meant for one another. Even if you’re an idiot who fucked it up, I wasn’t. I knew there was no way I could compete with you...when it comes to Mikasa.”

“Did you just say something nice to me?”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Okay, horseface.”

“Fucking idiot.”

“...you want to get online and shoot some shit?”

“Give me ten minutes.”

“Don’t pull my rank down.”

“Don’t pull mine.”

--------------

Pieck eventually stopped crying.

Zeke patted her on her back while she cried.

And Pieck cried until she couldn’t cry anymore.

She was done.

“So teach me another song.”

“Do you..”

“No.”

“Okay. Yeah, sure.”

----------------

Mikasa’s writer’s block had begun to disappear. She spent most of the day in the sun room writing lyrics to one of the unfinished pieces she had from Historia.

Annie had given up on work half way through her shift and shuffled into the sun room where Ymir was restringing her acoustic guitar.

The sound of power tools in the basement could be heard.

“They having any luck down there?” Annie asked before she sat down in one of the chairs.

“They brought up some ripped out carpet,” Ymir said as she tightened the string down.

“So this is actually happening. We’re going to record,” Annie gave a small smile.

“We’ve come a long way in a little over a year,” Ymir replied as she finished tightening the string down. “Speaking of coming a long way, how’s our social media numbers looking?”

Annie sighed, “well, Facebook sits at the same numbers. Twitter gained a few. YouTube has gone up. Instagram is the problem. We’re dropping views on whatever we post in the feed.”

“Why?” Mikasa asked as she stopped playing.

“It’s the algorithm. The more people who see and interact with our stuff, the more it spreads but it has to show up on the feed first. We’re fucked sometimes. I’ve been trying to put everything into stories where I can but people still have to interact with it.”

“You remember the days when things were just chronical on our feeds?” Ymir asked. “Now you have to be a math genius like Annie to get anywhere.”

“To be fair, I still haven’t beat it.”

“You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“We all need to interact with the posts. That’ll help too. I know we have been but we have to keep it up.”

“Just tag me in that shit and I’ll share it everywhere. Speaking of genius...are we going to have another new song or what?” Ymir asked as she looked over at Mikasa.

“I’m working on it. Have we thought about the idea of collaborating with The Restorationists? Their follower numbers are larger than ours. Plus, they just got a new bassist. Might be a good idea to see if they want to do a livestream with us or something,” Mikasa said before she shrugged.

“What about Niccolo and Sasha?” Ymir asked.

“Yeah, I’m worried about that too,” Mikasa sighed.

“Wouldn’t hurt to ask,” Annie shrugged.

-----------------

Sasha kept her word of not speaking to Niccolo for a little bit. He didn’t try to contact her and she didn’t try to contact him. However, as Sasha had said, the farm was doing great at the farmer’s market. Mr. Blouse even gave both Sasha and Historia a bonus when they finished work today.

“I don’t know how we’re going to have four guitars,” Ymir scoffed.

“And a bass,” Annie added.

“Yeah, that too. I love the song as much as you all do but I’m wondering how we’re going to pull it off.”

“What about a collaboration with The Restorationists?” Annie asked.

“Oh yeah. Niccolo did tag us on their Instagram. We should do that,” Sasha said.

“Even with you and Niccolo being all….whatever?” Ymir asked.

“I can be professional. Besides, I thought you all wanted this to be a more stripped down song. I can use the cajón,” Sasha shrugged.

“What the fuck is a cajón?” Ymir asked.

“The percussion box,” Sasha answered.

“Then just call it that!”

“This song is pretty personal, Historia. I’ll leave it up to you,” Sasha said before she hit the cymbal, causing Ymir to jump.

Ymir responded with a very horrible sound from her bass.

Annie sat down on the piano bench next to Mikasa and Historia as she sighed.

“It is pretty personal,” Mikasa said as she looked over Historia.

“We need four guitars, two percussion, and a bass. Can they read music?” Historia asked.

“Eren can,” Mikasa answered.

“Pieck is their bassist now. She can read music,” Annie said.

“Didn’t she work at the tutoring center with you for a while?” Ymir asked.

Annie nodded.

“Small world,” Ymir said.

“That leaves Zeke and Niccolo,” Historia said.

“Niccolo can,” Sasha answered before looking down.

Levi walked by the sun room with Sawney and Bean following him.

“Hey Levi, can Zeke read music?” Ymir asked.

“Why would I know the answer to that?” Levi asked as he stopped.

“He’s your therapist. Maybe you two bond over music or something. I don’t know but do you know?”

“No, I don’t. It really doesn’t come up in conversation.” He continued on his path with Sawney and Bean followed him.

“I’m sure Zeke can read music. I can always call Eren after practice,” Mikasa said as she turned to the next page of her sheet music.

“Are you okay with it being a collaboration, Mikasa?” Historia said.

“I’m okay with it,” she smiled.

“Guess that settles that. Just need to ask The Restorationists. Do you want me on bass, electric, or acoustic for this song?” Ymir asked.

“Acoustic,” Historia and Mikasa said at the same time.

“All of our band…” Historia started.

“On acoustic,” Mikasa finished.

“Add their band here,” Historia said as she pointed to the music.

“Should we do all five of us singing this lyric here?” Mikasa asked.

“Wait, I didn’t agree to sing on this song!” Sasha said as she stood up from her drum set.

“Oh yes, let’s do that. That should be low enough for everyone to sing, right?” Historia asked.

“It’s hopeless, Sasha. They’re in the zone. They’re not hearing a thing we’re saying,” Ymir said as she put her bass down on its stand.

“If that’s the case, I’m going to go figure out what to make for dinner,” Sasha said as she left the sun room.

“I’m going to go make myself some more tea before I get morning sickness again,” Annie said as she placed her guitar on the stand.

Historia and Mikasa were left alone in the sun room to continue work on the song.

While Rod Reiss sat on his throne, his daughter was dismantling it in her music.

#mmtylif #my writing

2 notes · View notes

alwaysmychoices · 4 years

Text

From Across the Room

Synopsis: Charlie Green and Ethan Ramsey fell in love, and after years together, they fell apart when it became clear they wanted very different futures. But when they have a chance encounter years later, maybe it’s not all in the past...

(separate from my With and Without series)

words: 1.9k

rating: PG

Based on this ask from this prompt list. The prompt ("You aren’t my homeland anymore”) is in bold. Feel free to keep asking from that list!

Hit me up if you want to be added to my permanent tag list!

(photo source)

I would love to say that I fell in love with Ethan Ramsey the day I met him, but that would be a lie. The first time I laid eyes on him, I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen, but as soon as he opened his mouth, I thought he was the rudest, most arrogant asshole I’d ever been forced to interact with. I spent the rest of the week fuming and staring from afar, hating him with such passion that it buried my instant adoration.

But in moments of vulnerability and shared secret smiles, I fell in love with him.

And for some time, we were happy — the kind of bright, beautiful happiness that painted every memory in a golden haze.

I still remember our time together with soft, warm smiles and fluttering butterflies in my stomach.

We got an apartment together where we cooked fancy dinners, painted walls, and printed our favorite memories on photos that we displayed all over our home. On weeknights, we read medical journals on our couch with our dog between us, and on weekends, we woke early enough to wander the farmers market. We took up jogging together in the mornings and shared mystery novels in our spare time.

It was perfect.

We fought, of course. We disagreed about the shade of blue we should paint the bathroom and how protective I should be of my career. He thought I was impulsive, and I thought he was too set in his ways. But our fights never lasted long enough to mean something.

The itch came on slowly. It took me several years to realize that, as much as I loved my life, I still craved more.

Sometimes, late at night, I regret it. I wish I could have been satisfied, that I could have just maintained our happiness.

In the end, I couldn’t help wanting more.

I wanted a family. I wanted a house with a yard. I wanted to leave work early to read bedtime stories to my child and spend my Saturdays cheering on soccer games. I wanted sleepless nights where I balanced my demanding career with my desire for a family.

But Ethan didn’t want more.

He was happy. He had a loving relationship and a career he valued. What we had now was everything he ever wanted but never expected to have.

He understood what I wanted, but he couldn’t give it to me. And I understood why he couldn’t. I couldn’t make him want something, and I couldn’t force him into a life he didn’t desire. It wasn’t fair to him, me, or a potential child.

We tried very, very hard to hold on. We took extra vacations and talked late into the night, hoping that communication and quality time could save us. We toured townhomes in search of a compromise, and we submitted an application to foster rescue dogs.

But it wasn’t enough, and once the cracks settled in, they began to spread.

I wanted more than he could give, and he begrudged me for it. I resented him for resenting me and for not sharing my visions of the future. The love that we shared, as strong as it was, was clouded.

The end came slowly and painfully. We stopped fighting solely because we stopped speaking. We went days without as much as a shared glance, and as winter fell, our relationship went cold and lifeless.

On our seventh anniversary, I was thousands of miles away from Ethan. I was in California, interviewing for a job. Ethan and I were both offered positions, and we saw it as a new opportunity to revitalize our lives and start over again. But really, we always knew that Ethan wouldn’t leave Boston. He didn’t even come with me to visit San Francisco or meet the team we were offered to lead.

Six months later, I was still in San Francisco, and Ethan wasn’t with me.

For the first year, I waited for him to follow me here, and often, I eyed plane tickets, imagining my own grand gesture. I called him late at night, just to hear his voice, and sometimes, he would call me with a consultation for a patient. Rarely was it a real mystery that required my help. I think he just wanted to hear from me, too.

But nothing had really changed. I still wanted a family, and he didn’t.

So, I made a new life.

I bought an apartment and adopted a dog, and I made friends. I went to parks and parties and coffee shops, and I was happy, even if I kept Ethan on my speed dial.

I was introduced to Dr. Mark Williams at a fundraiser. A week later, I met him at a trendy restaurant for our first date, and by the end of the year, he was on one knee, presenting a sparkling engagement ring. I said yes, even if I secretly wished it was Ethan standing in front of me.

Mark and I agreed on everything. We wanted children and dogs and little league games, and we were already looking for a home to build our future.

It was perfect.

Or it should have been…

Sometimes, I still felt like something was missing, something I hadn’t felt since Boston.

Not that I ever said, nor even admitted to myself.

It was easy to pretend that Ethan Ramsey was a part of my past. He was thousands of miles away, and I hadn’t seen him in so long that, if I tried hard enough, I could make his memory hazy. On a good day, I didn’t think about him at all.

But tonight was different.

Tonight, I couldn’t pretend — not when I was so close.

For the first time in over a year, I was in the same room as Ethan Ramsey, and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t stop looking over at him, craning my head to catch sight of him in the crowded conference. I was on Mark’s arm, but I could only see Ethan.

Someone was talking — maybe even to me — but I didn’t hear it.

Not until I heard my name.

“Charlotte.”

I jumped, startled into the present. I tore my eyes away from Ethan to find Mark and another man facing me. I vaguely recognized the man as Mark’s friend from medical school that we had met this morning when we signed into the conference, but I’d been so distracted by Ethan that I didn’t notice him approach us now.

“Damon has some intriguing research he wants to share from one of the exhibits. Do you want to come with us, Charlotte?” Mark asked, squeezing my arm.

Charlotte.

Mark called me Charlotte. Something about hearing it in the presence of Ethan made it feel cold and formal.

As soon as the thought registered, I felt a wave of guilt.

I was engaged to Mark. He was compassionate and kind, and he wanted a family just as badly as I did. He was my future, and Ethan was my past.

I just needed to remember that.

“I’ll let you two go ahead. I’ll catch up later,” I encouraged my fiancé and his friend to go on without me, hoping to clear my head and regain my composure in their absence.

I was a grown woman. I was well-respected and responsible. I was not the kind to remain lovesick and obsessed with a former boyfriend.

I needed to control myself.

With my back safely to Ethan, I wandered through the conference, finding comfort in unfamiliar faces. I felt safe in the ambiguity. Few people here knew me, and even fewer knew my complicated history with Ethan. Every step felt like a new beginning, a world where I could write my own future without being unnumbered by my past.

Of course, it had a habit of following me.

I could run to a new city with a new job and a new lover, but I always found Ethan. Or he found me.

Even in a sea of strangers and their disinterested gazes, I saw him immediately. His blue eyes were piercing and determined. I felt like he was looking for me, pulling me to him until I found him in return.

He looked the same, if a bit older. The same haircut, the same hard expression to ward off fans tempted to approach him. He stood taller than the rest, a beacon of intelligence and arrogance. And he was looking at me.

This close, the distance and time between us felt so small. I could forget that we lived on different sides of the country. I could forget the months of fighting and the breakup and our time apart. I could forget the lives we built apart from each other. I could forget everything but how much I loved him.

I imagined going to him, forgetting and forgiving everything we did to each other. I thought about running away from my life – from California, from Mark, from everything. I pictured my life back in Boston, in that apartment we shared with all of our friends.

And the daydream was all so… so tempting.

So beautiful. So sweet. So nostalgic and wonderful.

He felt like home.

And right now, I just wanted to go home…

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman approach Ethan. She was young, probably just an intern. Her hands were full of pamphlets and journals, and I decided that she was probably his newest protégé. I felt a sense of relief when he looked down at her and lacked any obvious romantic attachment — not that it was my place to be relieved. I was engaged to another man after all. Who was I to judge if Ethan found someone else, too?

But even as I tried to write it off, I knew that I didn’t want him to find someone else. I wanted him to still be mine, even if I told myself that I didn’t want to be his.

From across the room, Ethan dropped his gaze, whispering something to his protégé. They spoke for a moment, but I couldn’t will myself to look away. I feared that, if I dropped his gaze now, I might not ever find it again. Once they concluded their discussion, his assistant walked away, and his eyes immediately returned to mine.

With a sad smile, he motioned away, signaling that he had to leave. There was something else in his eyes, a silent offer to accompany him.

I could have followed.

I could have moved through the crowd and rewritten my future.

But instead, I shook my head, even if it killed me to do so.

I whispered softly, knowing he couldn’t hear me as I explained, “You aren’t my homeland anymore.”

Before I could change my mind, I walked away.

I thought it would feel freeing, like a final goodbye after nearly a decade of shared affection. I expected to feel confident in my decision. I thought I would walk into my future knowing that I was on the right path.

But as a wiped away my tears, I felt less sure than ever that Ethan was just a part of my past…

Tag List

@starrystarrytrouble @utterlyinevitable @queencarb @eramsey28 @choicesficwriterscreations

#Ethan Ramsey #Open heart #Ethan ramsey x mc #pixelberry #choices #ethan x mc #open heart 2 #folklore

61 notes · View notes

crowdedimagines · 4 years

Text

Falling - Harry Styles

*obviously inspired by Falling, which i am OBSESSED with! *italics are from the past, a lot of this story will be from the past. *also, see if you catch some mini easter eggs to other songs from fine line (this wasn’t intentional, but for the timeline to work he never dated camille)

There’s no point in stopping the tears as they slowly stream down my face. As soon as I saw the tracklist to Harry’s new album I had a feeling this one would bring on the waterworks. Now that the album is officially released, I can hear what he’s been working on the past few months.

Falling.

A simple word with so much meaning behind it. It’s hard to fight off the memories of our relationship.

“-and this is the lovely, Y/n.” A friend introduces me to a small group of her friends at the party. She managed to drag me away from a conversation I was having to ‘meet some friends’. I smile and wave to all of the new faces, they go around and give me their names in return.

“Harry.” The last one speaks up, he raises his glass in a wave.

Our eyes pull together like magnets. I’m thankful for the darker lighting that is hiding the blush that creeps over my cheeks.

We all quickly dive into a conversation, everyone present being easy enough to talk to. They’re all lovely and fun people.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” I announce as I get up from my spot.

“I’ll come with, mine seems to be empty too.” Harry grins and follows me back to the bar.

We both order our drinks and wait for them to be made. It takes a while, seeing how busy it is with all of the people here, but neither Harry or I mind. We immediately jump into a new conversation ranging from music, acting, and travel.

“You’ve never been to the UK?” Harry asks, utterly shocked.

“No.” I shake my head, laughing at his appalled reaction.

“How is that even possible? You’ve never had to film over there or anything?”

“I’ve been to Italy and France, but never your neck of the woods I suppose.” I let out a laugh.

He takes a sip of his drink, neither of us have made an effort to move back to the group since receiving them. I can see my friend giving two thumbs up over Harry’s shoulder. I’m sure this was some plan of hers to try and get us to hit it off.

“Well, you tell me when you’re free and we’ll go.” He smiles, “I’ll be your tour guide.”

God, I would love to take him up on that offer.

“Aren’t you going to be awfully busy with your first solo tour?”

“Ahh, you keep up with me then?” He smirks, I’m sure he’s enjoying that little ego boost.

“Pretty hard not to.” I roll my eyes, as if the pop star was so under the radar. “I can hardly leave my apartment in New York without coming across a billboard with your face plastered on it.”

“Well I’m sorry about that, love.”

“Don’t be, it’s a nice face to look at.”

It’s my turn now to smirk and notice Harry slightly thrown off.

“Tour doesn’t start for a month, pick a date before that and we’ll go.”

“You’re putting an awful lot of faith into someone you just met a half an hour ago.”

“I have faith in you, Y/n.”

“And why should I have faith in you?” I tease, “For all I know you could be a very creepy man.”

“Hey!” He laughs, “Haven’t you ever heard of treating people with kindness?”

The first time Harry and I ever met. That first night even, I knew that he was going to mean so much. I was proven correct a few weeks later when we actually did go to London together.

“Home sweet home.”

Harry opens the door wide enough so both of us and our luggage can fit. He’s invited me to stay at his flat, claiming it’s nicer than any hotel anyway. It’s also an obvious excuse for us to spend more time together just the two of us.

“It’s awfully gloomy here, strike one for London.” I joke.

“Hey! It’s late, you can’t judge it yet! Plus we just got off of a ten hour flight, you’re not in the right headspace.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I roll my eyes.

Harry and I have managed to grow so close in the short amount of time we’ve known each other. We met up several more times to somewhat plan the trip, Harry helped me pack claiming he would know what I would need better than I would.

We both laughed until we were crying, trying on the various clothes from my closet. Many random gems, things I’m almost positive Harry wants to steal.

We still haven’t defined what we are. Friends is the easiest way of putting it, but it doesn’t feel quite right. We flirt constantly and were touchy with each other, but we’ve never acted on anything.

“Alright, let’s find you a room.”

Harry takes my suitcase with him as he leads me into the rest of his house. We go up to the second floor and he opens the door to a large room. It’s decorated in simple white with hints of yellow.

“Cute.” I grin looking around the room.

“Y’like it?” He almost seems nervous. Giddy like an unsure child.

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

For the first time there’s an awkward pause. Just a few seconds of what to do, it’s really late and by the sounds of it we have plans for an early morning.

“Well, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, H.”

Harry leaves me to my room and goes to his own, which is conveniently across the hall.

He wasn’t lying, the next day we are up bright and early. Too early, I might add.

“Y/n.” He taunts my name on the other side of the door.

“Too early.” I grumble, my face still half smashed into a pillow. I don’t even flinch hearing the door open.

“C’mon, Y/n. If you get up now we can go out for breakfast and go to the farmers market.” I feel the bed dip as he settles on the bed.

“Why can’t I sleep in and we just eat here?” I finally turn to face where’s he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, he has an amused look on his face.

“Because I’ve been in Los Angeles for the past two months. There’s quite literally no food here.”

I let out a groan and drop my head back down.

“I’m amazed with how cute you still look while so angry and having just woken up.”

“You’re such a kiss ass.” I grumble.

“Only for you.” He lightly smacks my ass before walking back out. “Let’s go, Y/Ln.”

I get up and look out the large window to see that it’s raining, but it looks like the sun is trying to come out. I settle on a comfortable outfit, tucking my hair back into a low bun. I wash my face and throw on a pair of sunnies.

“Ready?”

I nod and we take off. We walk to a diner that Harry loves going too, he claims that he gets cravings for it when he’s back in the states. I have to say, after eating there, I understand his hype.

Once were no longer hungry, we take off for the farmer’s market.

It’s cute to say the least. We pick up some organic veggies to cook with for dinner and we find some cheese and fresh bread.

“H, look!” I cross over from the tent we had been in to the one across the street.

“They’re beautiful!” I trail my fingers across all of the different bundles of flowers.

“I almost lost you.” Harry says after catching up.

“Look at how pretty they are!” I pick up a bundle of sunflowers.

“How much?” Harry asks before handing over more than enough for them.

“Gotcha!” Harry smiles looking down at his phone. I’m sure he’s taken yet another candid picture.

“For someone who doesn’t post on social media, you take an awful lot of pictures.” I bump his shoulder as we continue walking.

“Yeah, still like to have the memories.”

Harry and I spent two more days in London exploring more of the city before we decided to take a road trip to Holmes Chapel to see where Harry grew up. It was a long drive, but it was worth it to see Harry light up.

“That’s the bakery I used to work in.” He points out the car window.

“Don’t you want to stop?” I ask, watching him drive right by it.

“No, it’s kind of become a fan beacon now.” Harry explains.

We continue to drive through the town as he points out more spots from when he grew up. Or we sit in a comfortable silence just looking out at the scenery. I don’t notice we’ve arrived somewhere until Harry puts the car in park.

“Where are we?” I ask, looking at the house in front of us. It’s grown dark out, but the house looks warm and inviting.

“My mum’s house.” He quickly gets out of the car before I can ask a question.

“Harry!” I roll my eyes, following him to the door.

“What?” He grins looking over his shoulder. He knocks and it doesn’t take long for an answer to follow.

“Harry!” She pulls him in for a hug, the woman I can only assume is his mother.

They talk softly to each other and I feel as if I’m invading a very private moment.

“You’ve brought someone home?” She shouts with an excited voice. Without a pause, she pulls me in for an equally tight hug. She knocks the air out of my lungs, but I let out a laugh.

“In all these years, Harry’s never brought a girl home!”

“Mum!” Harry groans, a pink color taking over.

“Come in come in! I’m just finishing up supper.”

She disappears further into the house, once Harry and I step in, I can feel the warmth of the home and smell whatever she’s cooking.

“You brought me home to meet your mom!” I tease, turning to smack Harry lightly on the chest.

“No, she would just be upset if I was here and didn’t see here before leaving for a world tour.”

Bullshit.

“Harry, you’ve never brought a girl home before.” I smirk.

“Alright alright, I really like you. As if it wasn’t obvious enough before.” Harry admits, he successfully knocks the smile clear off my face.

“Are you going to say anything?” He asks, suddenly twisting the right on his fingers around out of nerves.

“I like you too.” I smile, “Duh.”

“Thank god.” He sighs, pulling me in for a hug.

“Alright, supper is- oh! You’re having a moment, I’ll go.” Anne rushes back to the kitchen. It would take a blind man to miss the smile and happy dance at seeing us like this.

“She’s a sweetheart.” I pull back so I can look up

“Yeah, we’re a pretty charming family.”

“I can see that.”

After that it was bliss, Harry and I finally got together. Just in time for him to leave on tour. But we made it work, thankfully. Either I would fly out to whatever city he was in, or when he had extended breaks he would come see me on set. Any time we weren’t performing, we were facetiming. Or when the time differences didn’t work, we would leave each other long voicemails, just longing to hear the other’s voice.

By the time he finished his tour, and I finished my movie, we finally got to date like a normal couple and see each other regularly.

“Coming, coming!” I yell, rushing to my door to see who’s in a huge rush that causes them to knock repeatedly.

“I said-” Before I get a chance to yell when I swing the door open my jaw drops at the sight.

“Hi, love.” He grins, a bundle of sunflowers in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” I peck his lips with mine and pull him in for a long hug, “You had things to finish up! I wasn’t supposed to get you home for another week!”

“I’m sorry, love, but I lied. I always knew I could sneak away.”

“That’s kind of evil.” I laugh pulling away, but still holding onto him.

“Which is why I have these.” He hands my the flowers.

“Thank you.” I grin, he follows me into my kitchen and watches as I put them in water.

“So, how does it feel to be all finished?” I ask.

“Good, it was really rewarding, but really exhausting. I’ve just been waiting to come home to you to be perfectly honest.”

“Well, here I am.” I smile, I take a seat on his lap. It’s good to have him here.

Beachwood Cafe. The coffee here doesn’t taste as good when it’s not filled with our laughter and deep conversations. It seems bitter without the games.This was our spot in Los Angeles. Early in our relationship we had stumbled upon the place and it became ours. The baristas growing accustomed to our orders and our stardom.

“You’re absolutely mad if you think that’s a word.” Harry says, his voice getting louder and gaining the attention of people around us. As if we weren’t already doing that. The cafe is always busy, but today it seemed like there were lots of people here.

“Have you ever played Scrabble? Of course this is a word!” I argue. Part of why we like the cafe is the bookshelf filled with board games. Every time we come Harry and I pick a new one we’ve never played together before. Today we settled on Scrabble even though it led to us bickering.

“I don’t like playing with a cheater.” He can’t even get away with it without smiling, but we continue the teasing fight for the fun of it. Banter is always entertaining.

“A cheater?” My voice raising as well, “Look it up!”

We both breakout in laughter over how stupid it is to be arguing about.

Still blissfully aware in our honeymoon phase which lasted way longer than any other relationship either of us have been in. If only I had known then how much worse the arguing would get.

“Harry, what’s happened to you?” I ask, tears freely falling to the floor. The tears being caused more by anger than hurt at this point.

“What do you mean?” His words slurred.

“You’re drunk again, of course.” I roll my eyes, leaving him on the bathroom floor to deal with himself.

“You’ve made a fool of me Harry!” I shout, letting my temper get the best of me, “Do you know how embarrassing you were tonight? Tonight was a big deal for me, I’ve never been the lead actress. You now what this premiere meant to me.”

“Love, I-” Harry follows me out of the bathroom into our bedroom. My attitude and hurt seems to have sobered him up a bit, though he is still far from dry.

“You got hammered before the movie could even start!” I huff, “You were loud and obnoxiously shouting about nonsense! Not to mention the fact that you flirted with nearly every person at the bar.”

“Y/n, it’s fine we-”

“No, it’s far from fine. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, since when have you felt most comfortable with a drink in your hand? Or a stranger on your arm? This isn’t new for you anymore, you’ve been acting like this for months.”

The silence coming from him proves I’m right.

“If it’s been months, why haven’t you said anything before now. We’ve been dating for nearly two years now, we live together. I would think you’re comfortable enough to tell me you think I’m a drunk.” Harry sasses back.

“I’ve tried! You just get rude or you don’t even remember it in the morning.” I push my hair back out of my face, “The only difference it, tonight was my breaking point.”

I walk to my closet and grab a bag and start shoving essentials in it.

“No, Y/n, wait.” Harry follows me, he takes the bag from my hand and starts pulling things back out.

“Harry stop!” My voice rising louder than it ever has in this house, “Enough. I’m done. We are finished.”

Harry suddenly drops the bag and stumbles back out of the closet. I manage to repack the bad come out to see Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at his shoes.

“I’ll send someone to get the rest of my stuff. You can buy out my half of the lease.”

After that night, I never looked back.

The song ends and I turn off my phone and set it down. I wipe away any remnants at eyes, the tears long dried. Before I can spend any more time thinking about him or the way things used to be, I get dressed for the day. Harry was right about one thing.

I’ll never need him again.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #angst #harry styles angst #Harry Styles

587 notes · View notes

megbox · 3 years

Text

2020 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011)

2020 is a weird year because as the world goes through something collectively extremely traumatic and that is radically changing the structure of our lives, our workplaces, the way we connect socially, our mental health… our response to disease…. SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD…. And yet the day-to-day of living in a pandemic is so… mundane. I am privileged enough to have that opinion. I have stayed securely employed and it is privilege for my main reaction to something as intense as this pandemic to be boredom. But really, 2020 was a year of absences. It was a year spent largely alone, in my own company. It was a year that forced me to rest. It was a year that made me feel so terribly lonely but also forced me to get acquainted with myself and enjoy my own company in a new way. And it was a year of running.

I would also like to thank Connor for making this post happen by reminding me to do it and not to break tradition.

January & February

I am combining these months because they were not altogether all that memorable. My resolutions, as I noted on Twitter on January 2, were to 1) Keep running and 2) Learn how to make fresh pasta dough. I can safely say – mission accomplished on both fronts.

On January 14, I had the privilege of presenting a suicide intervention lecture to students at the medical school where my brother goes. By that time, I’d done a million of these presentations so nerves aren’t really a factor (imagine that! Me, no longer remotely afraid of public speaking…), but this one meant a little extra to me. My brother is so highly accomplished, and I am so proud of him, and I enjoyed having an opportunity to show him what I do and make him proud of me. I wore my favourite dress and did my hair all nice and he described it later as “exceptional.” It was a really, really good feeling. The first weekend of February, Ali and I had planned to go to Jasper. We wanted to go for a hike or two, and get super stoned and go to the planetarium. A huge blizzard hit Alberta just before we were supposed to leave, so we ended up having a staycation here in Calgary. We rented a hotel room, went swimming, drank wine, went to Japanese Village, had drinks in the lounge and then later to a punk rock band roulette night at the Palomino and finally crawled into our giant hotel bed and fell asleep to Remember the Titans… of all movies. It was the kind of night where you simultaneously feel 18 and 35 years old.

March

March was when the pandemic really started to become real. I don’t know exactly why, but I did not take the threat of coronavirus very seriously until the last minute. My coworkers would whisper about it in the hallways and I just rolled my eyes. But then, people started deciding they would work from home, the number of us in the office dwindled. The vibe was bad. Nobody could really focus. They held meetings at 8am and 4pm every day just for COVID-19 updates and we all waited with bated breath for them to finally tell us to go home and not come back. I really feel like I didn’t acknowledge the true implications of this virus until we got the official work from home order, and I had to tell my boss, my laptop at home is too old to run this software, I need a work tablet. My first official work from home day was March 23, 2020. I don’t remember much about that time except that the general sense of panic and anxiety made my job a lot busier, and it is hard to do a job like mine from home because it is hard to counsel or reassure clients through anxieties that are hitting you just as hard. I coped with wine, a lot of running, and listening to Ben Gibbard’s afternoon live streams where he would play acoustic versions of Death Cab songs and other covers. He played New Slang by the Shins one night and I burst into tears. I also coped with teaching myself how to make fresh pasta dough, and enjoying what was, at that point in the pandemic, the novelty and fun of Zoom.

April

In the absence of being able to have a party for my birthday, I decided to be obnoxious and do a “challenge” on my Instagram story. I asked my friends to record a distance run and/or walked and send it to me as a birthday present. My actual birthday ended up being a cold and windy and pretty miserable day. I ran 12km myself, came back home and watched both Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, and then went to my parents’ to celebrate both Scott and I’s birthdays with our family. My friends dropped off presents to my door and drove past my house and honked and I felt very loved and appreciated. I drank a lot of Prosecco with my brother and we listened to Kacey Musgraves.

It was also in April that I become “acquainted” with my neighborhood running nemesis. I put acquainted in apostrophes because I have never actually spoken to him. On one fateful run in April, I happened to catch up to him on my regular route. This was at the height of the COVID fear and so, while I would usually just pass someone on the sidewalk, I went out into the street. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and SPED UP. WHICH IS SUCH BAD RUNNER ETIQUETTE LIKE DUDE I’M IN THE ROAD LET ME PASS YOU. And then we ended up in this like, all-out 100m-finals-at-the-motherfucking-Olympics sprint challenge when all I was trying to do was go for a leisurely training run. And then I finally passed him, turned a corner and had to like collapse on to my hands and knees to catch my breath. Since then, I see this man running all the time. Sometimes while I am also running, sometimes from my car when I am driving through my neighborhood. He’s like… 16. And we are very competitive with one another. I hope to one day actually say hello to him. I both hate that guy and have to thank him for the motivation.

I ran my first half marathon on April 13, 2020. I was very hungover because I had stayed up quite late with someone on Zoom the night before on a virtual “first date” that had gone much better than anticipated. I don’t know why but I woke up the next morning in such a good mood that I decided I would go for a long, slow run. I got to 18km and figured, what’s 3.1 more? And so, I did it. The first thing I did upon finishing was call my mom. The second thing I did was contemplate calling an Uber to drive me the 2km left to my house. The other notable thing in April is that Maddy moved back from Australia, begrudgingly and a LOT earlier than planned, because of COVID.

May

May was kind of a blur. It was the first month of the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which I signed up for while coming off of the high of actually running a half marathon all by myself. The GVRAT was fucking awesome. It was created by Lazarus Lake, of Barkley Marathons fame. The ask is to run 1022.68km between May 1 and August 31, an average of about 8.3km per day. Well, you could run, walk, or hike. This is the actual distance it would take you to cover the state of Tennessee. Myself and about 20,000 other weirdos from around the world signed up for this challenge. I figured I would never get a chance to run in a Lazarus Lake race for real, and being home all the time opened up a lot more opportunity for training. It was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2020. So May involved a lot of running, because I was fresh and naïve and fully intended to be ahead of the curve. I was running about 10-12 per day, sometimes more, and not taking any rest days.

In between these runs, I spent a lot of time going on long, ambling quarantine walks with Maddy. We would either go for a long walk or she would come over and we would get absolutely hammered in my backyard playing beer pong just to pass the time. We would send snapchats to our exes and make TikToks like 18 year olds. I know we never really said it out loud but having eachother during this time made these months bearable. We were lamenting the loss of a summer, and Maddy’s time in Australia, and all of the expectations we had for ourselves. We were watching our friends in relationships move in together or get closer due to the quarantine. We needed companionship, and stupid things to laugh about, and love, and distraction. And I can genuinely say I would not have gotten through this quarantine period if it weren’t for the nights I spent shooting Pink Whitney and dancing to Party in the USA in my living room with her.

May 13th was my one year anniversary of working at the university. It felt good to have accomplished so many things in that time, and have moved up already in my job, and to have a full-time, permanent contract.

And May 16th was when I ran my second half-marathon as part of a virtual challenge put on by a friend of a friend. My parents came and sat in lawn chairs in the park while I did loops. They cheered me on and filled my water bottle for me when I ran out. They’re my number one supporters and I love having a family that does that kind of shit for me in the face of something arbitrary like a virtual half marathon challenge. I knocked 7 minutes (!) off my original time. Amazing what not being hungover can do for your fitness levels.

June

I don’t remember many important things about June, other than Maddy moving to Banff. It was depressing but I was also happy for her and happy to have an excuse to go out there and visit. I went the very first weekend after she moved. Halfway through June I seriously contemplated quitting the GVRAT. My shins were bruised, I was dreading every single run, and I could not fathom doing it for 2.5 more months. I was dragging behind in the standings and losing my motivation.

I spent a lot of time with friends reading in parks. Sometimes, often, with wine. I met a stranger in Canmore Park and ended up kissing him. He was lovely.

Ali and I had one really good day in June where we went to the Farmer’s Market and then came back to her place and watched Ru Paul’s drag race for like eight straight hours. It was one of those days where we hadn’t seen each other in so long and you just feel totally high off of friendship and absolutely everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. I vividly remember it as one of the best days of the year.

July

Again, July kind of passed in a blur. I did a lot of hiking, and a lot of running… keeping up with the GVRAT. I hiked Picklejar Lakes, Castle Mountain, Little Beehive Lookout.

I went to Banff for a weekend to hang out with Maddy. We had a predictably wild weekend with her roommates and friends. We had dinner at Chili’s (hell yeah) and then went to High Rollers for beers and bowling. The “thing to do” at that point for all of these Banff people was to meet at the “rec grounds” aka public firepits and drink. The police would generally leave you alone so long as you weren’t being rowdy. I sat next to an Australian named Josh at a picnic table and later took him back to my hotel room and he gave me the world’s most unbelievable obvious hickey. Maddy and I sweat out the tequila shots the next day with a long ass hike, and then had a nap before her brother came and took us climbing at the Sunshine slabs – an activity I was not very good at but I wanted to be good at. It was the kind of weekend where you feel like, okay, I definitely indulged my wild side. And you drive home just like totally exhausted but smiling. I sent Maddy’s brother a voice note on my way into town thanking him for taking us climbing and saying it was nice to see him.

August

Okay – August was actually really eventful. Like most of the year’s events happened in August, honestly. A lot of running and hiking. I did Ha Ling Peak for the first time, and we did a 30km hike to Aylmer Pass one day that was a fricken GRIND. I spent the long weekend in Saskatchewan. We went to a cidery, and I ran laps around my Dodo’s acreage, and then we got to visit Wakaw Lake and reunite with our old next-door neighbours. We took the boat out and went tubing and lit fireworks and had an amazing dinner and honestly it was like reliving my childhood in the best, best, best way. I fell asleep on the car ride home.

I went camping with Ali in Sylvan Lake. We got ice cream and cooked fish tacos over the campfire. She told me that Cody had a date planned for the day they took possession of their house, that she wondered if he might ask her to marry him but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case it didn’t happen and ruin what otherwise was supposed to be a celebratory day. Spoiler – he did ask her to marry him  I was running when she called me. I was listening to Epsilon by Kygo, and now when I hear that song I always think of them. I stopped my watch and just openly bawled on the street out of happiness for them.

Steven successfully defended his master’s thesis. We went camping in Waterton to celebrate with Matt, Kennedy, Regan, Scott, and Rie. They brought cake. We did a sunrise hike. I slept in the back of my Ford Escape.

On August 27, Ollie passed away. It was both expected and unexpected. He had been having some issues with seizures. The vet didn’t think it was anything to be too concerned about, he was old and it wasn’t uncommon for them to happen. It happened suddenly. I had a terrible sleep that night, and woke up in a cold sweat somewhere between 3 and 4 am. In the morning, my mom called me and told me the news. He had a giant seizure in the night and was crying and yelping. They woke up and took him to the emergency vet, they made the executive call to put him down to prevent any further suffering. He died right around the time I woke up in the middle of the night. I like to think that was his way of saying goodbye, maybe. I cried all day. Well, let’s be honest, I cried all week. I burst into tears at the mere thought of him. He was such a good and lovely dog. He was so loved by us. He had a good life. It is always sad when we lose pets so early. They bring so much joy to our lives, and still when I go to my parents’ place the first thing I want to do is call for him or pet him. I hope he is running around in whatever the pet afterlife is. I miss him.

And on August 31, I ran my last kilometre of the GVRAT. I finished with 733.78 run, 83.18 hiked, and 205.09 walked.

September

September was a nice break from running. I got to start coming to campus one day a week, on Thursdays, which was good for my mental health and work productivity. I got to spend September long in Vernon with Maeghan and Madison at Michael’s family’s cabin. They took us boating and made us meals and didn’t judge us for drinking margaritas with Michael’s sister literally all day. It was the best. It was the epitome of every summer weekend you dream about. I was so happy I got to go.

I met a boy in September. It’s always September, isn’t it? It feels weird to write about him. Like, that makes him significant. But. He is significant. And I met him in September. And it was unexpected. Last minute. And essentially not a day has gone by since that day in September that I have not thought about him.

I also joined a Calgary Sport and Social Club team with my friends for softball and it started in September. We played two games and then I tore my hamstring running from second to third base. I tore… my hamstring…. Running like 30 metres…. After a summer of literally running 10+ km every day. I… it was the worst day ever. Softball itself was amazing and so fun even though I really do suck at the sport but highly recommend Rec League C-level beer league softball with all of your best friends. There’s just no way that isn’t fun.

October

A lot of pouting about my hamstring, I went to two physio sessions and then decided to just start running again. I’m bad. I’m a bad example. Don’t do what I do… but also…. It worked.

I went to Victoria to visit Sydney over the Thanksgiving weekend. We went to a Thanskgiving potluck party at my old coworker’s place. It was a nice experience to be the new people at a party, to have a room full of new people to meet and who ask you questions about your life. We got really drunk and they tried setting Sydney up with one of their roommate’s brothers, and gave us lipstick to try, and poured us tequila shots. We had such an amazing meal. It was honestly so fun. We laughed in the cab the whole way back about how we were going to need to debrief that evening HARD the next morning. We watched a lot of All Gas No Brakes, and went for dinner and brunch and I limped up Mount Doug with my hamstring. It was a very very chill weekend, like we spent a lot of time just lounging at Sydney’s apartment and doing nothing. Because that is the kind of friends we are. It was so relaxing and lovely. I was sad to leave.

Karla, my roommate, left for New York at the end of October. Her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she and her mom made the executive move to go there to basically be with her for the end of her life. She wasn’t going to be back until December. I was happy, because it’s nice to have a place to myself, but also sad because Karla is lovely and I knew it was going to be a stressful situation for her.

November / December

I am combining these two months because they have also been largely uneventful. In fact… I don’t know if I could really tell you anything significant that happened. We’ve been in a lockdown. I’ve spent my time playing piano, watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, basically doing all of the things I usually do when I’m bored. Lots of Among Us. Lots of outdoor things… skating… more running. We’ve been in a lockdown since early December. Time has dragged on since then. I spent Christmas with my parents. Scott and Rie stayed isolated, because Scott is in and out of the hospital for school. My mom and I watched shitty Christmas Hallmark movies and made fun of the guys who star in them. We drank a LOT on Christmas Eve and both spent Christmas with a wicked hangover. My dad and I ate edibles and I was launched into the stratosphere. I spent New Year’s Eve with Boy from September. We played beer pong, and card games, and he tried to use a coat hangover to pick the lock on the mysterious room that my landlord keeps locked. We spent most of the night kissing, honestly. I was happy to spend the last moments of the year with him.

2021:

Honestly... at this point... who really knows?

#year in review #text #personal #2020

10 notes · View notes

thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

Note

For the meet ugly prompts: #27? I feel like it has a lot of potential to be really funny for the OT4 :)

27: we have one night stands with roommates and sneak out of the house at the same time.

I interpreted “sneak out” kinda broadly. This is right on the line between SFW and NSFW: No sex, but it gets hot and heavy at the end.

Duck wakes up under moth-patterned covers, rubs his forehead as he grabs his phone from his pants on the floor. Shit, he didn’t mean to sleep this late, that could make things awkward if the guy from last night wanted him gone.

The bedroom door open and closes and Indrid, his hookup, enters in a yellow and pink bathrobe, holding a silver packet.

“Good morning.”

“Mornin’. Uh, sorry, guess I was real tired.”

“We did do rather a lot last night.” Indrid grins, sitting down on the bed next to him, “here, my roommate is making breakfast sandwiches. I had him make you one. Do not take the pack as a sign you must leave, I just asked him to wrap it in case you were in a hurry.”

“Thanks. I should be gettin goin’, Winnie’s probably missin’ breakfast.”

“One musn’t keep such a noble creature waiting.” Indrid hands him the sandwich. He’d shown the taller man photos of his cat last night both because he dotes on the flufflball and because it got Indrid to scoot closer to him.

“Yeah, she can get in a mood....uh, you seen my underwear?”

Indrid scans the room, red glasses sitting on his forehead and giving Duck a perfect look at his brown eyes.

“Ah, here we are.” He reaches under the small desk covered in art supplies, “my, those got some distance.”

“You were naked, I was in a hurry.” Duck mumbles, making Indrid bark a laugh as he brings him the rest of his clothes.

When he steps out of the bedroom, he spots a tall man with a short, coppery beard standing at the kitchen stove. That must be the roommate, but Duck’s eye is drawn to the man exiting the other bedroom. His short black hair is mussed, there’s a pillowmark beneath his high cheekbone on one side, and his dress shirt is rumpled.

The other man does not seem pleased to be seeing three people in front of him instead of one.

“Oh hey babe, you’re up.” The roommate turns, beaming, “made you breakfast, do you want some coffee? I can put it in a to-go up if, uh, if you need to leave.”

“Yes, thank you. I, um, I should be going.”

The roommate smiles, quickly puts together a sandwich and coffee cup, complete with cream and sugar. The other man sips it and sighs, “you remembered.”

“‘How do you like your coffee’ isn’t just a cheesy line for me, babe. Gotta make sure you enjoy yourself start to finish.”

“Damn, that was smooth” Duck whispers as Indrid walks him to the door.

“Agreed. Though I rather enjoyed your one about pollination last night. By far the most creative response to these I’ve received” he points to the tattooed moth just visible on his shoulder. His wide grin goes shy, “I did really have a wonderful time, Duck.”

“Me too. Lemme, uh, lemme know if you wanna meet up again?”

Indrid nods, waves goodbye as Duck heads off the porch and down onto the sidewalk. He eats as he walks, decides Indrid has good taste in roommates because that one makes a mean breakfast sandwich.

He gets to the bus stop, late September morning still crisp with the coming fall. Pulling out his phone, he discovers it’s dead. He did use it a lot last night, on their date, but only because Indrid was so clearly interested in what he had to show him. Why a guy who does tattoos for a living thinks a fella who’s a nerd for plants is interesting, Duck will never know. He’s just glad he does.

Music out of reach, he sits and listens to the cardinals and kinglets calling in the trees. Someone sits down next to him, aluminum foil reflecting the sun off their hand and into his face.

It’s the guy. The one from Indrid’s apartment.

Should Duck tell him he has a big bruise on his neck? He probably knows, right? Then again, he was in a hurry?

“Hey, uh, don’t mean to be weird or nothin’, but you got a little uh-” He taps his neck and the man whacks his hand over the mark.

“Shit”

“Someone you’re worried’ll notice?”

“What exactly are you implying?” The man glares at him, blues eyes going from charmingly flustered to suspicious in an instant.

“Nothin, just seem real worried for somethin that happens to almost everyone some time or another.”

“I like keeping my private life private. I don’t want random people knowing what I like in bed.” He snaps

“Okay, okay, jeez man, sorry I mentioned it.”

They fall silent as Duck’s bus approaches, and both stand to board it. Just his luck, this is route to the capitol square with the massive farmer’s market, so he and the mister touchy end up squished in next to each other.

Two stops in, the man murmurs, “ I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been so rude. I’m, uh, I don’t usually do things like, well, like hooking up with someone I meet on Grindr.”

Something about the way he says it, like he’s afraid he’ll get in trouble, brushes away Duck’s annoyance.

“No shame in havin a good time with someone. Wait, shit, was it a good time? Did somethin happen?”

“Oh no, nono,” the man hurriedly shakes his head, “it was just what I needed. Barclay is a great guy. I just feel like it was too easy, that getting that lucky on my first try is a sign something will go wrong.” He gives Duck a resigned smile, “in case you havent noticed, I’m an overthinker. Are you, damn it what’s his name, Indrid’s boyfriend?”

“Nah. He comes to draw in the arboretum where I work, we been kinda flirtin the last few weeks, and yesterday I finally said fuck it and asked if he wanted to get a drink later.”

“He’s certainly...distinct looking. In a good way, I mean.”

“Yeah, he is.” Duck smiles, thoughts drifting off to the memory kissing him gently as they finally fell asleep, his face captivating in the dim of the room, “probably see him again. Assumin’ he wants to see me, I guess.”

-------------------------------------

“I am supposed to wait until he arrives home to text him, correct?” Indrid pushes his phone as far away as possible to remove temptation.

“Maybe? I dunno man, all those rules about texting and shit are designed to sell books and bad youtube channels.”

“But I don’t want to come off as possessive or clingy.”

“Believe me bud, I know.” Barclay turns his phone around so Indrid can see the two lines sitting in the “draft” section, “I’ve been writing and re-writing this for five minutes because I want Joseph to know I’d for sure be down to see him again but there’s no pressure.” He sets Indrid’s refilled coffee down on the table. They trade a look, then burst out laughing.

“Fuck, guess we both had a good time last night huh?”

“Very. Duck remains as wonderful as I hoped and I have not enjoyed sex that much since, hmmm, well, since the last time you and I were together.”

“That poor desk.”

“May it rest in peace.” Indrid sips from his mug, “Joseph is quite charming. You have excellent taste in men.”

“That a compliment to him or to you?” Barclay fluffs Indrid’s hair as he passes by him.

“Mostly him.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, little moth.” A kiss on the head this time before Barclay heads to the shower. Indrid gets his sketchbook, turns on some mindless cooking show and settles on the couch.

Eventually Barclay calls from his room, “Indrid? Been about forty-five minutes, bet he’s home by now.”

Indrid springs up, grinning, and grabs his phone.

-------------------------------

Duck was out downtown when the rain started, which is why he’s now hunkered down in the cafe by the capitol in hopes of waiting out the storm. He’s not the only one with this idea, and he’s made sure to make the chair across from him obviously empty in case someone needs a spot.

“Hello again. Do you mind?” It’s the blued-eyed guy again, dressed for work in a suit and dress shoes. Duck hasn’t seen him since that first morning, in spite of going back to Indrid’s place multiple times over the last three weeks.

“Go for it.” Duck scoots his coffee to the side so the man can set his mug down. He pulls out his phone, but can’t quite focus; he keeps wanting to look across the table.

“How are things going with Indrid?”

“Real good--wait, how did you know he an I were still-”

“Barclay’s mentioned you once or twice. And your name is pretty memorable.”

‘It’s a nickname.”

“That makes a bit more sense. Mines on the other end of things; there are a lot of Josephs in the world.” He sips his cinnamon-scented drink, sets it down again, “so, what do you do?”

“I’m a ranger over in the arboretum. You?”

“I work for an organization that checks up on businesses to be sure they’re meeting worker health and safety laws.”

Duck watches the rain out the windows, wondering if Joseph wants to keep talking or is just being polite.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Did Indrid tell you about him and Barclay?”

“Yeah, ‘bout a week ago. He said he was hopin’ he and I could get more serious, but that he wanted me to know the two of them had a sorta, uh, fuckbuddies thing goin’ so I could make an informed choice.”

“That’s more or less where Barclay and I are at. Um, how do you feel about it?”

“I’m okay with it. I ain’t interested in anyone else right now, but when I thought about it, Indrid havin a thing with Barclay ain’t stopped him from bein’ amazin’ to me and I’m fallin’ hard for him. I don’t feel like some kind of side piece or whatever. I just feel like I’m headin for somethin good with a guy who has a casual partner. Did it bug you?”

“No” Joseph shakes his head, “which confuses me. I, um, I have trouble releasing control in much of my life. I assumed it would freak me out to learn I wasn’t the only partner in someone’s life. But when Barclay told me it didn’t really bother me. He even offered to talk to Indrid about being only friends if that was what I needed. It’s been awhile since someone was so quick to think about my wants and feelings when dropping unexpected news on me. Plus, I’ve spent a little time with Indrid when we’ve been over there, and I like him. He clearly cares about Barclay, just like I do, and in some way that makes me happy. Is that weird?”

“Not really an expert on weird. But I think you’re overthinkin’ things again.”

A small laugh, “True. Help me think about something else. Tell me...tell me what your favorite part of work is.”

Duck’s surprised at the interest, but gets glimpse of pleading hope, og someone a little hungrier for connection than he’s letting on, and finds no desire to refuse.

“Prairie restoration, it’s fascinatin….”

-------------------------------

Duck’s not surprised to see Joe’s name come up on screen; the two of them have been hanging out more, both as friends and on double dates with Barclay and Indrid. He’s learned that his friend is a stealth-nerd beneath his professional veneer, that he likes game nights as much as Duck does, and that he makes a certain sound when he cums (that last one he learned on accident; he was snuggled up with an under-the-weather Indrid in the living room when Joe and Barclay got home from a date).

Joe: Are you busy tonight?

Duck: Nope.

Joe: Do you want to go to the “Adult Swim” at the children’s science museum? I got tickets a week ago, but Barclay got called in to work tonight.

Duck: Sure, sounds lie a good time.

Joe: See you at the museum at 7?

Duck replies in the affirmative, goes to pick out something less grubby than his crossfit clothes to wear. Maybe the short-sleeve button up with the whales; Joe mentioned he like it.

His phone buzzes.

Sugar: Busy tonight?

Duck: Yeah, going to the museum with Joe since Barclay has to work.

He realizes how this might sound, begins rapidly typing several explanations or offers to not if Indrid doesn’t want him too, but his boyfriend beats him to it.

Sugar: Oh yes, I remember him mentioning that. Good, I’m glad the tickets won’t go to waste. Have fun, my sweet, please take picture of any interesting bugs for me if there is an entomology section <3

Duck: Will do, sugar.

He signs with a kissy face, gets two black hearts and a kissy face back.

The Adult Swim is wonderful; the museum is artfully lit, there’s snacks everywhere, and even a fancy cocktail included with admission. He and Joe clink glasses, wander through the exhibits, laughing and playing with the interactive exhibits. There are no bugs, but Duck takes pictures of the light exhibit, which feature interesting color patterns he might like for tattoo inspiration.

They’ve just finished fucking around in the paleontology exhibit, and Joe is looking through a viewfinder that shows him how a triceratops saw the world. Duck sneaks up behind him, growls in his ear, “didn’t spot the t-rex in time.”

“If you plan on eating me, we should at least head into the bathroom.” Joe winks as he turns, heading out onto the balcony to look out on the city. Duck knows that if he follows him out there right now, he’ll kiss him.

“Be right out, gonna go grab some more of those mini-pies.”

Joe nods to show he heard him as he pushes open the door. Duck hopes he doesn’t see him take several deep breaths to get his imagination under control before he goes off in search of an edible distraction.

-------------------------------

“Doors open!”

“Oh, hey man, Indrid home yet?”

“No, it’s Thursday the 12th, so the studio is prepping like crazy for tomorrow.”

“Shit, that’s right.”

“Cookie? I just made them.”

“Thanks--holy shit that’s good.”

“Thanks, I’ve been trying to nail the chocolate chip and potatoe chip recipe.”

“Think you might--aw fuck, ‘Drid just texted, he’s gonna be another hour.”

“You can chill here if you want. Uh, I’ve got Super-Smash Bros, if you wanna play.”

“Aw hell yeah.”

-------------------------------------

“Good morning, Joseph.”

“Gahoh, hi Indrid. I’ll be out of your way in a few minutes.”

“There’s no rush. I certainly don’t mind your company. I believe there are left over cinnamon rolls in the fridge, if you would like.”

Joseph gathers a coffee cup and a roll on a plate, sits down on the couch, and finds his pocket buzzing.

“Here” Indrid takes the plate.

“Thank you. Looks like it’s my sister...oh, she got a new dog, do you want..” He stops as Indrid holds out a piece of the cinnamon roll on the fork. Hesitates, then opens his mouth and lets Indrid feed him. He starts showing him pictures as he does, Indrid commenting and laughing and, every so often, murmuring, “good boy” when he takes a bite.

--------------------------------------

“Ohfuck, shit, sorry!” Duck covers his eyes as Indrid quickly closes the front door.

“Nono, fuck, sorry, that’s on us, thought you guys weren’t home until later.” Barclay’s apology is underscored by the sound of a zipper closing.

“It’s quite alright, no harm done, Joseph you look very nice like that, carry on.” Indrid pulls Duck into his room, both of them snickering and blushing as Duck pushes him down onto the bed.

“My my, someone’s wound up.”

“Makes two of us.” Duck grinds down on him, Indrid gasping and grinning as he arches his back.

“Indeed. Now get that handsome face down here. I have some things I wish to do to it.”

---------------------------------

The giant stop motion monster continues rampaging on the screen as Duck loops his arm over Indrid’s shoulder. The first snowstorm of the year has come early, so they opted to switch their double date to a monster movie double feature (curated by Joe) in the apartment. Beneath their shared blanket, Indrid’s hand strokes his belly, skating down to the front of his jeans in teasing bursts.

On the other side of the couch, Barclay has started kissing Joe’s cheek, the blue-eyed man sighing and turning to kiss him back.

This is not a new situation for them. The last few weeks they’ve gotten more comfortable cuddling and making out in the same space as each other. Duck’s not complaining; hearing both Indrid and Joe gasping and sighing near him makes him hotter than a July afternoon.

Indrid bumps his cheek with his nose, and Duck turns for a kiss. He gets one, but he also gets a firmer stroke down his cock, making him moan. Indrid smirks into the kiss, does it again, then a third time, Duck gripping the front of his white tank top with a groan.

“Maybe we, uh, should dip out on the movie.” He murmurs.

“We can” Indrid purrs, kissing him again, “but Joseph seems to be enjoying the show.”

Duck whips his head around; Joe is looking at the two of them as he leans against Barclay’s chest, between his legs, expression moving from desire to surprise to hope over and over again. Barclay, unbothered, continues kissing his neck and murmuring in his ear, the blush on his cheeks rising each time the larger man does so.

“Or perhaps he’s envious?” Indrid cocks his head, “would you like your hand to be here instead of mine, Joseph?”

Joe’s normal eloquence is nowhere to be found, his eyes flicking between the three other men so quickly Duck worries he’ll sprain something.

“I asked you a question, pet.” Indrid sharpens his tone on the last word and Joe whimpers. Duck has zero interest in Indrid ever calling him that name; but hearing it in his lilting, gently demanding tone directed at Joe sends desire zinging through him.

“C’mon, babe, be a good boy and answer.” Barclay nips his boyfriend’s ear.

“Yes. Or, or, more accurately, I’d trade places with either of you. If that’s, would it be, do either of you?” He looks back at Barclay, who smiles tenderly and runs a thumb up his cheek.

“Okay with me if it’s okay with them.”

“Do you want it as well, my sweet?” Indrid tilts up his glasses so he can look Duck in the eye. The affection in those brown eyes makes the T.V, the moon, the stars look dim.

“Hell yeah.”

Indrid crooks his finger and Joe clambers the short distance on the couch to kneel by Duck.

“How shouldMMmmmmm!”

Duck gets a whiff of aftershave as Indrid yanks Joe forward by his shirt, kissing him and squishing Duck between them. The angle is awful but he doesn’t give fuck, buries his face into Joe’s neck, kissing the point where he feels his pulse moving like mothwings, mouthing and nipping at the skin as he slides one hand up the front of his shirt and the other down the back of his pants. When he squeezes his ass Joe squeaks and Indrid breaks the kissing, laughing.

“I didn’t know you had such noises in you, pet. It’s quite endearing.”

“Indrid, Duck, please, I want, I want to, oh fuck it.” He pulls back just enough to not jab his knee into Duck’s belly as he falls on him, kissing him so hard and so long Duck’s chest tightens and his vision narrows. The taller pulls away long enough to breathily moan his name before feasting on his mouth again.

“Yes, he does elicit such feelings, oh, hello.” Indrid giggles, and Duck can just see that Barclay is now on the floor, kneeling before the pale-haired man, kissing the skin exposed by his shirt before rubbing his beard across it, making Indrid laugh harder.

“Can’t let you have all the fun, little moth.” Barclay rumbles

“I can think of many things you can let me haveAH, oh, oh goodness, I forgot how much you like to bite.”

Barclay growls, reminding Duck of something important. He pushes Joe backwards, clambering atop him and pulling his shirt up as he does, stuffing the hem of it between those perfect lips.

“Christ lookit you” he runs his palms up Joe’s body, the man arching and writhing beneath him, “you look like a goddamn fuckin centerfold, you’re so fuckin perfect.”

Joe’s moan is loud even through the shirt, and much needier than before. He grins, crawling onto him , “guess I ain’t the only one who likes praise in bed.”

Joe shakes his head, whining eagerly through the make-shift gag. Duck growls again, attacks his chest with bites, leaving an especially hard one when Indrid grabs his ass without warning.

While Joe clearly enjoys the increase in pain, his responding thrash is sudden enough to send him and Duck rolling off the couch in a jumble. Someone’s foot catches Barclay in the shoulder, knocking him back onto the rug.

“Whoops.” Duck says to the ceiling, laugh bubbling up from his chest and bounding about the room.

“Sorry.” Joe says to the floor, chuckling as he sits up.

“That was very graceful.” Indrid teases from his spot on the couch, only for Barclay to rear up and pull him down on top of him, the thinner man squawking indignantly. As they all disentangle and sit up, Duck looks around their little circle of flushed skin and mussed clothes.

“So, uh, that happened.”

“Indeed.” Indrid scoots next to him, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Is everyone, like, okay that it did? I mean, we seemed okay and said yes and shit but is okay in like a bigger sense?” Barclay holds out his hand and Joe takes it.

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“Do we, uh, wanna talk about what this is gonna look like?”

They all nod, and spend the next two hours hashing out the details of their newly forming polycule. Duck and Barclay agree they’d rather be metamours, everyone else will be partners, and that everyone should probably get some sleep before diving into the do’s and don’ts of what they each want from sex.

Barclay and Indrid build a makeshift bed on the floor by the T.V, Joe and Duck on the inside with Barclay and Indrid on the outside.

Duck drifts off to sleep with his head on Joe’s chest and Indrid’s arms around him. He knows they still have things to work out, that there will be hiccups. But for now, he’s happy to lay here, safe and loved, with his boyfriends.

#indrid cold/duck newton #indruck #OT4: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends #agent stern/barclay/indrid cold/Duck newton #agent stern/barclay #sternclay #agent stern/duck newton #Indrid cold/Barclay #meet ugly

29 notes · View notes