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anki-of-beleriand · 8 months

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Bad Liar ch. 18

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers - Mentions of Natasha/Maria being married

Warnings: Slow burn - Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - violence - mentios of abused and sexual assault - idiots in love - violence - suggestive themes - drama - angst - fluff

Author's note: The world had changed, and Wanda finally had a chance to show you and tell you how much she loves you and how much you had changed her life for the better.

Well, guys, this is the end.

I surely hope you guys like this chapter as much as I love writing it, and that in general you love the story. I wanted to give you a closure to what had happened and to how the story of both, Reader and Wanda would unfold, but I also wanted to give you a glimpse of the future so. Hope you enjoy the read! Thank you to all of you who stay to the very end, it was quite amazing to have you with me all this time.

Please rmemeber English is not my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes, hope you like this one.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Wishing upon a shooting star

Now and Forever

Time was a funny concept.

After the incident with Vision and Agatha, the world continued its slow travelled into a new year and the normality of life. But for you and your family, it became a painfully slow process in which you had to face many decisions and harsh realities. In the last couple of days, you had tried to make everything work, you made sure not only America but Wanda and the twins had the support they needed to continue on, while also dealing with the legal affairs involving Vision.

Everything had been a part of your life and how you were building up from scratch what had been put in jeopardy in a matter of hours.

Still, you and Wanda endure, and you couldn’t help but fell more in love with the woman that had been picking up her pieces while being everything you and her children needed. You massaged your neck tiredly, the house was completely alone and Wanda and the twins were still out somewhere with Natasha and Maria.

At least that was what she had said to you when you asked for her companionship to your appointment with the doctor. It had been a strange day, a very lonely day in which you had been left alone with your thoughts and emotions.

You whistled glancing around your living room before directing your attention to the stairs, America had long gone somewhere with Kate and you regretted not having agreed to her and her idea of joining you at the hospital. With a heavy sigh, and some tiredness you made your way upstairs ready to take a shower.

Of course, noting could had prepared you for what you found there.

The room was completely empty.

You stepped forward until your eyes fell upon the clothes that had been neatly organized on your bed. Right on top of your favourite trousers there was a single note with your name on it, you recognized America’s messy handwriting and you couldn’t help but smile at the words she had left written on the piece of paper.

Today is finally the day!

Wanda has been planning this for a very long time, and since I am very amazing sister, and sister-in-law, I decided to give her a hand.

I choose your favourite clothes and left everything ready for you to get dress and ready for your date with Wanda. You and her both deserve this time, and I think it would be the perfect time to just be yourself and talk about everything but what had happened lately. Please, be happy. I will take the twins to Kate’s place and you two will have the rest of the afternoon and the night for yourselves. Please, just write to me and make sure you enjoy the date.

Love, the best sister in the world (me)

Your smile only grew knowing in the last couple of days America had been completely secretive though always offering hints of how much you were going to love the surprised. Wanda had been holding her secrets just as tightly, and by the time Friday finally arrived you were really dying to know what Wanda had prepared.

“Very well, one hour before Wanda is here,” you mumbled to yourself letting your eyes wandered around to check your clothes. With a wince, you left your backpack and the jacket on a chair and went to the bathroom.

You couldn’t help but gasped at the sheer pain you felt running through your arm, leaving the sling to the side and helping yourself out of your clothes. Your reflection blinked back at you, the wound on your left arm was still red, and fresh, pulsating from time to time reminding you not only of the cold winter days, but of what had almost happened two weeks ago.

With a frown, and a shake of your head you turned around getting the bath ready.

Today was about you and Wanda and whatever it was she had prepared for you, there was no time to think anything sad or regretful. With a smile on your face, you put on some music and decided to get ready for the woman that had already captured your heart.

A deep void of anticipation settled on your lower abdomen and you could hardly wait to see Wanda again.

You glanced at your reflection with a critical eye.

America had put together the suit your dad had chosen for your first official meeting in the company. Your lips curled lightly, it had been a while since you last used those Chino pants, or that blazer, but it was your favourite one because of how it made you look. How it made you feel. You smiled fixing your left arm to rest comfortably on your midsection, the blazer and pants tailored fit complementing your body form with the dark colours you favoured so much.

You found your eyes in your reflection, your body tingling with anticipation and a void expanding on your abdomen. Your heart shrank with emotion, when you recalled Wanda's eyes on you, her smile and the sweet timbre of her voice. If you were to be honest you didn't know when you felt for her, when you lowered your guard and allowed this woman and her children to take home in your heart. You just knew that one day, her smile took your breath away and her eyes on you made your heart fluttered with want.

The mobile on your bed vibrated several times, you furrowed your brows grabbing the phone while reading the message. You smirked, you turned around and went directly to the first floor making sure you had your wallet and keys on you. The moment you opened the door your throat went dry,

She stood by your door wearing a single, dark blue dress pressed around her horse but loose around the waist. There was a black coat on her, with her hair straightened up and light make-up glistening on her face. She smiled shyly at you, her eyes taking in your frame before they settled in your eyes, her cheeks wore a dust of red you were familiar with.

“Hey.” She greeted tentatively dipping her head while looking away for a moment.

You shook your head, blinking a couple of times before stepping forward.

“Hey.”

Wanda leaned back, her tongue playing with her lips with her hands closing tightly around the purse she had borrowed.

“You look beautiful.” You finally stuttered out, your face warming up when those green eyes fell on you once more.

Wanda put a strand of hair behind her ear, her smile softening leaning into the touch of your hand on her arm.

“You look good, too.” She replied and you were quite relieved you were not the only one incapable of speaking properly at the moment.

“Only good?” You asked teasingly, Wanda opened her eyes, shaking her head.

“You look amazing.” She finally stated, rolling her eyes when you just chuckled.

“Amazing, eh?”

“You always look good,” Wanda lifted her hand and put it on top of yours, “are you ready?”

You stepped out of your house closing the door behind you, you grabbed her hand placing a kiss on her knuckles with a single winked that made Wanda falter for a moment.

“I'm all ready for you, Princess. I'm also very excited to know where you are taking me, and what you have planned for today.”

You couldn't hide the excitement in your voice, you bounced on your feet while Wanda merely shook her head pointing to the car.

“It's still a surprise and as such, you are going to be asked to wear a blindfold.”

You cocked a brow at her, your lips curling playfully.

“Kinky.” You chuckled when Wanda slapped you playfully on the back, she rolled her eyes but you could tell she was blushing profusely.

“Come on, we have reservations.”

Wanda started walking down the lane but stopped when your hand closed around her forearm. She turned confused, her eyes finding yours and the seriousness of your expression made her turn completely to face you.

“We cannot go like this, you know?” You shook your head, but Wanda merely creased her brows tilting her head.

Whatever question she had, or whatever she was going to say was soon cut by your lips finding hers in a slow, tentative kiss. Her breath caught in her throat, and you just loved the way she tilted her head placing her hands on your forearms giving into the kiss while opening her mouth with her tongue teasingly playing with yours. You smiled into the kiss, sowing down until your forehead was resting against hers. Both breathing hard, flustered with lips swollen from the kissing.

“Are you…are you happy now?” Wanda asked and her voice, while still recovering, suddenly was huskier than ever.

You nodded, placing a sweet peck on her cheek, stepping back before you couldn't contain yourself.

“Yep, now we can go.”

____________________________

The ride to your destination was a silent event.

The silence was filled with music and conversation about your doctor’s recommendations for the physical therapy and Wanda’s care of her throat. You had leaned back against the eat, with a smile playing on your lips while you gave the woman sitting beside you a trust you rarely placed in anybody else.

When the car finally stopped, your stomach was squirming deliciously and your heart was jumping with anticipation of what was going to happen. You waited until a warm hand placed itself on your leg, your body tense leaning in to follow the voice of Wanda.

“I thought very hard on this, you know?” Wanda was speaking softly, with her voice filled with memory and something you couldn’t quite name, “I’ve been going through so many changes, and when I was finally getting to know myself I met you.”

You cracked a smile leaning your head without being able to see but sensing Wanda’s eyes on you.

“That was one hell of a first good impression?”

Wanda snorted, her hand clenched tenderly around your knee.

“No, I hated you.” This time around you could tell she was not joking, but her voice merely softened. “I hated what you made me feel, I felt vulnerable but at the same time there was this horde of butterflies on my stomach and my chest was always tight and throbbing…it was infuriating. It was confusing.”

You lifted your right hand; your movements were slow and tentative waiting to see if Wanda would stop your advances but she never did so. By the time you took off the blindfold, you could see the face of the other woman looking right outside the parking lot of a big, black building. Wanda let out a breathy sigh, it came right from her chest and by the time her green eyes found yours your heart skipped a beat.

“I wasn’t sure as to what I was experimenting until…” Wanda shrugged, “until I told Hope, then everything make sense.”

“Was it the first time you…” your question caught in your throat, there were many things you wanted to ask, furrowing your brows you realised there were certain details about Wanda you had yet to see, you had yet to know.

Fixing your position on the seat, this time around it was you the one facing her while the building stood like a shadow in front of you.

“Was it the first time a woman flirt with you?” You asked tentatively, Wanda nodded tilting her head until she was locking her eyes with you.

“It was the first time I actually admit to liking a woman, Y/N.” Wanda then softened her features, her hand seeking yours, “today I want to make it special, I want for you to know and to feel just how much you mean to me. I…I may be slow with words, but I don’t want you to think I am not experiencing the same emotions as you do.”

Your lips broke into a half smile, you leaned forward until your lips were on her ear. Wanda shivered her eyes fluttering close as you spoke.

“I love you.” It was a simple whisper, three words you had gotten used to tell the other woman with every single ounce of honestly you could show her.

“I know.” Wanda replied back turning her face until your lips and hers were brushing against one another, you snorted shaking your head.

“Very well, Han Solo, where are we?”

Wanda furrowed her brows scrunching up her nose the very same way the twins usually did when confused. You chuckled tucking her locks behind her ear.

“What did you call me?” She asked tentatively leaning back, you raised a single brow.

“You know? Han Solo? Star Wars? Princess Leia?”

Wanda shrugged shaking her head, her eyes twinkling in silent laughter at the face of pure mock disbelief you were wearing at the moment. It was as if you were genuinely offended by her lack of knowledge for what you were saying.

“God, as soon as this is over you and I are going home to see the movies, the original ones before I settled on letting you see the full saga.” You commented opening the door of the car.

Wanda followed your actions, but just before the both of you left the warmness of the car she decided to speak.

“Funny, I thought that after we left this place you and I could be doing something totally different once we were home. I was dying to know what else you could do with that mouth of yours.”

The young woman smirked closing the car door behind her and walking down the parking lot, her cheeks were a witness of her embarrassment but her heart fluttered happily when she heard your cursed and gasp. The door closing with a loud thud, while your footsteps hurried up behind her.

The night promise to be fun.

The main entranced had been decorated with silvery banners announcing the newest show, the doors were closed and a single sign to the left showed the place had been closed hours ago. You furrowed your brows; it was until the both of you had been standing closed to it that you realized you were in the Natural Museum and the Stark Planetarium. The place was huge and it had been built just outside the city to make it possible for the observatory to get easiest access to a clear sky. Your eyes lighted up leaning in to observed inside the glassed doors, Wanda stood by your side writing something on her phone while waiting patiently with you.

“How did you know?” You asked leaning back, Wanda shifted her weight from one feet to the other facing you with a soft smile.

“I did pay attention when you helped the twins with their homework, and I did my investigation to make sure I wouldn’t get this wrong.” Wanda stepped closer to you positioning herself on your right side so she could grab your hand in hers. “I want this date to be special.”

“Being with you is what makes this date special.” You pecked her cheek, and Wanda just shook her head.

“You’re such a sweet talker.”

“Nah, I’m just saying the truth.”

Soon the doors were opened and a single guard opened the doors, he smiled at the both of you while passing a set of keys to Wanda giving her silent instructions as to where they should go and which parts were off limits for the both of you. You observed as the young woman listened carefully, she took the map the man was giving her while also pointing to something on the tablet he was holding. Your heart skipped a beat thinking of all the things she had done, if only to get you to where you two were at the moment ready to enjoy the strangest date you had ever been to.

“Very well, we’re not allow to disturb the rest of the exhibitions so let’s see, I think it’s down here.”

“Lead the way, my lady, I am but a humble peasant at your mercy.”

Wanda chuckled grabbing your hand dragging you through the corridors, it was only the both of you and the sound of your footsteps disturbed the silent scene spreading before your eyes. You had been in that place several times through your youth and adulthood; it was one of your favourite places in the whole world and you had a sneaking suspicion this part of the date had been America’s contribution.

“No way…” you whispered this time around walking faster until it was you the one dragging Wanda behind you, your smile grew just as you turned around and found the planetarium had been fixed in such a way that right in the middle of the ground there was a single table with two chairs.

You had been there when your father was helping around on the renovations, at that time you were but eight years old, but the idea behind these new arrangements was to make camping-like scenario for some of the youngest people that would fill the place in the future. The idea was to make of this dome of the most accurate and real in the whole country.

Let’s make it feel as if they were actually outside, watching the stars above their heads on a nice, summer night.

Your face broke into a nostalgic smile as the words of your father filled your mind.

Wanda took a deep breath her hand squeezing yours tenderly, her heart beating fast just as you let go while strolling around the place. The planetarium was located on the west wing of the building, it was the biggest in the east coast and it usually held some of the most important films about astronomy and history in the whole country. The projection dome was done with neutral colours with a LED system that came along with the latest technology for audio and special effects. It had been a couple of years since you last were inside the Domo and finding yourself in the midst of such a place only brough a bubble of happiness that spread all through your senses.

Everything was already set up, and the lights that were lighting up the place were just centred on the single table with two chairs right in the middle of the room. Instead of the normal chairs that were placed around the theatre, you found yourself looking at a scene that never thought possible and you knew right there and there of all the effort that Wanda had taken that very first time to give you the perfect date.

“Do you…do you like it?” Wanda finally broke the silence approaching you with a tentative stare in her eyes, she approached the table signalling the cutlery with the table, the glasses of wine and the single bottle resting on a small side table inside a bucket filled with ice.

You turned to the woman standing beside you, it was quite incredible that even after all she had done there was still some trepidation in her features, the nervous picking of her fingers while she tried to offer explanations of how everything came to be. Of the careful planning she did to make sure everything would be ready, that everything would be there on time.

You stopped her tirade just as she was about to tell you she chose as the main course had been lasagne accompanied by a white wine.

Wanda got her words tangled in her throat, her lips trembling lightly until she lifted her arms to return your hug. For the very first time, after what happened in New Year and the process of recovery you and Wanda allowed the comfort of a single hug.

“This is amazing.” You whispered making sure she could feel everything you were experimenting at the moment.

Wanda closed her eyes, taking in the sweet aroma of your perfume and surrendering to the warm of your body. You leaned back, brushing your fingers on her hair while taking in the marks on her eyes and the tentativeness behind her stare.

“Nobody had done this before, you know?”

“Really?” Wanda asked right away, you shook your head. Wanda pursed her lips stepping back a little.

“You don’t have to say that, you know?”

You furrowed your brows seeking her eyes with yours until she couldn’t look away from you.

“I mean it, Wands. I’ve been in many dates some of them were unique in the way the presented themselves, but…well, this…” You lifted your eyes to the dome stretching your arms while twirling around, “having someone worry enough to make something I like? Not many did, and not in the way I was expecting.”

“Well, I just thought…” Wanda turned around when the gates of the theatre opened and there came a couple of waitresses bringing over the food.

You grabbed Wanda’s hand leaning in to place a single kiss on her knuckles, the young woman rolled her eyes at your gesture but took it for what it was.

“Let’s eat, and discuss this, my lady.”

“Let me help you out.” Wanda replied walking fast to the closest chair pulling it out waiting for you to sit.

You grinned taking the chair while Wanda too the one right in front of you, the two young men worked was placing the plates filled with food while also serving the wine and leaving two glasses of water as well.

Everything was perfect, the smell of the fresh lasagne filled your nostrils and it was quite evident you couldn’t shake the smile adorning your features. Wanda puffed out her chest, a sense of pride overcame her knowing she had made it possible for you to not lose your smile or relaxed posture.

“This is delicious,” you moaned while tasting the food, Wanda blushed glancing at the food while nodding in agreement. “God you bought it in Olympia, didn’t you?”

“Yep, Ajak was very kind to offer the services of the waitress and the food and actually all the things you see here.”

“You really outdo yourself with the date, Wanda.”

Wanda lifted her face taking in your frame, she smiled going back to her food.

“I really wanted to make this special for you.” Wanda grabbed her wine frowning her brows for a moment, “I never thought I could be this special with anyone, let out feel like this for someone else.”

You focused on the food, but soon you noticed the sweet melody of a familiar song playing in the speakers inside the dome. Your eyes lighted up turning to Wanda who was offering a tiny smile, she really had thought about everything.

“Very well, what’s your ideal date?” You asked all of a sudden, Wanda was taken aback for a moment blinking at the randomness of the question.

“My ideal date?”

“Yep, you just said you couldn’t imagine being this special, but you are special, Wanda. Perhaps, you were never given the chance, but I know you must have something inside your head that cold be define as the perfect one.”

Wanda chewed on her lower lip, narrowing her eyes for a moment before leaning in.

“I have always thought that a walked down a beautiful part, or forest leading to a lake is an ideal date.” She stated thoughtfully, “mom used to take Pietro and me to this beautiful forest near the city back home, she always told us the stories of her youth, and I always thought that would be the perfect place to have a date or a marriage proposal.”

You nodded pursing your lips impressed, Wanda then turned to you her eyes gleaming strangely.

“How about yours?”

You opened your eyes blinking a couple of times before leaning over, “I have to say, this one? It’s at the top five of my favourite dates ever.”

Wanda made a face of disbelief but you stopped her with a gesture of your hand, you drank some wine shaking your head.

“I mean it.” You declared strongly, “I love history, and I love everything that has to do with museums and books, if you want to win my heart, this is the perfect spot to start over. But I would say the perfect date would be on Prague’s Strahov library. Now, that would be quite the adventure.”

The conversation soon flew the same way it did before the incident, you caught Wanda giving in while leaving the stress on her shoulders ease out and her expression relaxed while the conversation grew around the topics she handled well. You never lied to her, while you had your share amount of dates usually they involved other type of activities that, why you liked them at a time, they hardly related with one of your passions.

Laughter filled the planetarium; the acoustics of the place made it easy for the sound to be enhanced. The conversation grew around different topics, and soon whatever happened in the past, whatever physical wounds the both of you carried still were forgotten.

And it was in that moment you remembered why you fell in love with Wanda.

“Thank you, this was delicious.” You glanced at the waitress smiling gently at her, the young woman flushed returning the smile until she caught the glare coming from Wanda.

“I will bring the desert.” The young woman picked up the last of the dishes and hurried out of the place.

You cocked a brow at Wanda who had not stopped following the other woman with her glare, when she returned her attention to you it was only to find your amused smile adorning your features.

“Jealous much?” You chuckled when Wanda clicked her tongue looking away.

“Should I be?”

This time around you did laugh at the absurdity of the comment, Wanda rolled her eyes sending you a withering stare before huffing and crossing her arms. You waited until the dessert had been served and another bottle of wine was brought, this time around the rest of the lights went out and there was only a single one left to create a foggy atmosphere around the centre of the room.

“I think you are adorable when jealous.” You stood up serving the wine, you knew Wanda was following you with her eyes but for now you focused your attention to the task at hand. “I still remember that time in which you saw me and Carol, there is something utterly cute about it.”

“I’m not jealous, and I don’t think being jealous counts as adorable. Or cute.”

You clicked your tongue shaking your head, the glass was soon filled with the red beverage on the bottle. You passed the glass to Wanda who received it, the glint in her eyes told you she was enjoying the changed in the topic. Or perhaps, what she was enjoying was your attention. You nodded to her mobile taking your glass in your hands.

“They give you control of the room, didn’t they?”

Wanda pursed her lips glancing at her phone while nodding.

“Mr. Stark taught me the basics, and how to make sure that everything was perfect for the show.” Wanda mumbled, she gasped when you grabbed the phone seeking the app where Wanda was trying to handle the dome.

“You took my playlist, didn’t you?” This time around there was a hint of affection tainting your voice, Wanda nodded as if it was obvious.

“I wanted this to be about you.” She mumbled well aware that your eyes were now on her.

“Let’s make this about you and me, then.” You ran your thumb around the playlist until you found the song you were looking for. Your mouth broke into a smirk, and the sudden glint of mischief that appeared in your eyes made Wanda winced.

“What are you thinking?”

You left your glass of wine, stretching your hand to Wanda who took it without thinking it twice.

“Dance with me, my love.”

Wanda looked away with a tiny smile on her lips, her cheeks burning up while she started shivering under your hold. You stepped closer waiting for the song to start, your body moulding perfectly against Wanda’s one.

“I trust you know how to dance, Wands?”

“I…I know the basics.” She replied locking her eyes with you.

“Then, let me stir you around the curves.” You winked at her, loving the sound of her laughter.

The sound of the trumpet was the first thing that came into the speakers, and soon the music formed around the voice of Elle Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Wanda snickered gasping when you twirled her around before pressing her body to yours, the dance started slowly with you just swinging around.

“Why that song?” Wanda finally asked, you shrugged with memory written in your eyes.

“Mom used to listen to it, America’s mom.” You clarified, “her mother used Elle to perfect her English when they first came here.”

Wanda nodded leaning closer, her arms sneaking around the nape of your neck. You wiggled your eyebrows bringing another chuckled from the young woman.

“And she taught you how to dance?”

“Yep.”

“Mom used to teach us as well,” Wanda rested her forehead against yours, “ours was more classical, but still it was nice. She was a little obsess of making me be a debutant, and Pietro a escort in the traditional sense.”

Wanda furrowed her brows at the memory, but whatever memory came with it soon was forgotten and replaced with a content smile.

“It was actually nice, and I enjoyed it greatly.”

“I would love to dance something classical, any song in mind?” You asked tentatively, Wanda opened her eyes a little taken aback by your inquiry.

“You want to? Really?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Wanda tilted her head thinking for a moment until the song finished and the both of you stood in the middle of the room just looking at one another. The young woman leaned in kissing you tentatively, when she parted from you your heart was already trembling under the sheer passion she shared through the kiss.

“No, perhaps later, right now I want to keep spoiling you.”

Not sooner had she said this, Wanda turned around making her way to the futons resting on the floor. She fixed them with care, full aware of your curious eyes on her; woman made sure to take her jacket off of her and fix everything so the both of you could rest comfortably on the floor.

“What else did you plan?” You finally asked approaching her with the same amount of curiosity, Wanda was smiling shrugging lightly.

“You’ll see, don’t be impatient.” Wanda hesitated for a moment before turning to you, “do you mind serving the wine and bring it over?”

“Not at all.” With one last glance you turned to the table ready to serve the wine when all of a sudden the lights went out.

You froze on the spot, lifting your head to see if perhaps it had been a malfunction in the system or there was something else involved. Soon, you could feel the breeze touching your heated face, the small resounding of drums that went increasing until music of ancient design filled the room and a single dot of white appeared on the far edge of the screen crossing the dome above your head like a shooting star.

You gasped turning around to see Wanda smiling at you, she had dismissed her heels and her coat approaching you while the music transformed into a soothing melody. She locked her eyes with yours, and while you couldn’t see it, you could feel her trembling hands on your blazer helping you out of it while fixing the posture of your sling.

No words were needed it when those fingers worked around the bottoms of your shirt and then she took you to the futons she had fixed on the ground. With a stretch out hand, you allowed her to direct you to the ground almost chocking on your spit when she knelt in front of you taking your shoes off of you.

“Wanda…” You couldn’t keep the silence, but your voice sounded strangled almost fearful to break the spell the both of you seemed to be in.

“This is about you.” She replied simply, crawling to you her lips found yours in the sweetest of kisses the both of you had shared so far.

You found yourself on your back, those lips dancing with yours in a silent invitation. Your heart was beating hard, you were sure the sound of the drums had long ago been replaced by the sound of your heart. Your put your open hand on the back of Wanda’s neck putting her closer until you were on your back and she was almost on top of you.

“I love you.” Wanda all but whisper in your ear, her face almost hidden in the crook of your neck while her warm breath caressed the skin behind your ear.

There was a moment of silence, your heart finally stopped while you registered those words coming from her. You never expected Wanda to say those three words any time soon, you understood the kind of pressure she had been in, and the life she had been living before meeting you. Hell, the amount of time the both of you had known each other wouldn’t give you both enough time to say such a deep declaration, yet you couldn’t deny what you had been feeling for the woman hovering above you at the moment.

Your eyes found those emerald ones, the affection she had always shown you was there gleaming with hope. She waited with her lips swollen, and a dust of pink on her cheeks; Wanda leaned in her nose playing with yours while her eyes closed to engrave the moment in her mind.

“I love you.” She said it again, this time around louder, stronger and you knew she meant it. Every single word.

Your eyes flickered soon to the screen above your head, this time around everything changed and it was as if the both of you were right outside. The night sky was gleaming above your head, with a million started twinkling merrily at you, the start gliding slowly until the movement of the starts start speeding up and soon everything changed and the first constellations came upon the screen.

Wanda could see the stars reflecting in your eyes, she was very careful with her weight always favouring your right side. Her lips curled into a smile when your face lit up with glee at the sight above your head; she remembered the first time she asked for help. America and Hope had been so sure about their proposal that Wanda couldn’t say no, but she opted to add some of the things she had learned from you in those conversations in the middle of the night.

“I love you, too.” You finally replied back, this time around those eyes were filled with affection and completely focused on Wanda.

The young woman dipped her head turning on her side until she was resting right beside you, her hand sneaking comfortably around your midsection.

“I’m sorry it took me this long to say it,” Wanda started but before you could reply she shot you a quick glance shaking her head, “you had been my saviour in so many ways. You can imagine where I was when I first met you.”

“I was a bitch on that meeting.” You recalled, but Wanda merely chuckled nodding.

“You were and I hated you for that.” Wanda turned to you never losing her smile or the affection in her voice, “and then I got to know you and I was…confused. You were making me feel so much, in so little time, and I was afraid.”

Wanda snuggled closer to you, “I’m not afraid anymore, and after thinking about it I realized I love you. As in, I’m in love with you, Y/N, and I don’t think I can stop my heart right now…”

“Why would you stop it?” You inquired turning on your side, wincing when you put some stressed on your left arm.

“I don’t know, what if…”

You leaned in kissing Wanda before she could finish her sentence, Wanda giggled welcoming the kiss before making sure you were back on your back instead of putting some unnecessary stress on your arm.

“Don’t think about the what ifs, Wanda.” You nodded to the sky above your heads, the music had changed into winds and cords, and the story of the first constellations came to be right in front of your eyes.

“I know it is too soon, still. That there is a lot to work on, but if you allowed it…I will be by your side until the last start in the sky had been consume by time.”

Wanda leaned closer to you, her face hidden once more by your neck though this time around you could feel her lips on your neck.

“How do you do it? How can you say such things and make me tremble until there is nothing else but you?”

“It’s a gift.” You chuckled when Wanda lifted her face rolling her eyes.

“I want to be with you, for as long as you want me, Y/N.”

“Then, let’s be together.” You sneaked your arm around her putting her on top of you, “let’s be a family and see where it goes.”

“I love you, and I just wanted to make sure you knew it.” Wanda insisted, you nodded pecking her nose.

“I know.”

“I wanted to make of this night something special,” Wanda said her hand lifting to cup your face and soon her fingers started dancing down your jaw to your neck to the open shirt. For you it was soon evident what she meant, and while she tried to look confident in what she was doing you could see the flash of uncertainty in her eyes.

Her hand was trembling, whatever expertise she had tried to show soon vanished when you realized she was getting closer to your chest.

“You don’t have to…you know?” You could see the glint of hesitation in her green eyes, Wanda clenched them closed in frustration. “Hey, Wands…look at me.”

It took a moment, but then she lifted her eyes and soon she was looking right at you.

“I don’t need sex to know I love you and that my heart is already yours, Wands. And I don’t need you to prove it to me; Wands whenever you are ready I’ll be here more than happy to make you scream in passion.”

Wanda gasped this time around her blush grew from her chest all the way to her cheeks, she tried to look away from you but you made it impossible for her to do so. Your wounded arm finding her face in a single caress.

“How can you be so understanding? God, I just…” Wanda leaned against your touch, “I feel foolish.”

“Never, Love, I just know… and I’m not in any hurry, whenever you are ready, I’ll be ready as well.”

Wanda sighed and whatever tension had been building around her left her body, this time around, when she kissed you she did it with the promise of the future. She laid down by your side, and soon she focused her stare on the stars above your head.

“I love it, this moment just you and me…”

“I thought we need it, you have been amazing with the twins but…” Wanda trailed off shrugging, “I think we were also needing this time to know one another. To actually share in an alone time.”

You smiled nodding your agreement, her hand found yours and soon your fingers intertwined with hers. The stars danced above your heads, and soon your voice joined the music and the different scenes playing with the constellations. You filled in the gaps with the stories you recognized, with Wanda asking questions or helping in the narration until soon you two were talking about mythology and reality.

“I wish this night would never end,” Wanda whispered glancing at the projection of the stars above her head, the show was about to end and she couldn’t help but voice what she had been experimenting in her heart.

“It doesn’t have to be over.” You replied turning to Wanda, the other woman furrowed her brows and you pressed your lips together turning on your side so you were facing her.

“Someday, right?” Wanda replied locking her eyes with yours.

“Someday.”

She smiled snuggling closer to you, “for now I wouldn’t say no to you sleeping with me, I mean without…I…”

You snickered placing a kiss on her forehead, “I know.”

“Did you imagine this will end like this?” Wanda finally asked, her eyes focusing on the sky above her head.

“No, I imagine it will start like this.” You glanced at the same stars, the same shooting star you saw at the beginning gleaming in the distance ready to travel through the sky.

“What do you mean?” Wanda scrunched up her nose, you placed a single kiss on her forehead nodding to the sky.

“I imagine this is how my relationship with you will start, and that after today we just ready to face the new challenges this relationship may bring.” You shrugged glancing down at Wanda, “I’ve been in love before, but…with you? It feels right, as if I was waiting for you.”

Wanda opened her eyes lightly before her expression softened.

“I realised that when…when you stood by my side regardless of my past.” Wanda rested her head on your shoulder, “I think this is the first time I have been in love and, I want you to be the only one.”

“well, love, you have a shooting star to make your wishes a reality.” You pointed to the screen and soon the shooting star crossed the dome and the show was over.

“what did you wish for?” Wanda inquired turning to you, you winked at her nuzzling her nose with yours.

“It’s a secret.”

“That’s not fair! You know what I ask for!”

“I do?” You furrowed your brows, Wanda nodded looking away for a moment before locking her eyes with yours.

“I wish for you to be my one and only love.”

You were shocked for a moment, but soon you answered to such words by kissing Wanda softly.

“And you?” Wanda finally said once you parted from the kiss.

“Me? Well, love, you will have to wait.” You smirked when Wanda seemed indignant at your declaration.

“Oh, come on!”

You pocked her nose, leaning in to kiss her pouting face away.

“Nu-uh, Princess, patience is a virtue, and I know you will know what I wish for with time.”

Wanda groaned in mock frustration, she was about to stand up but her hand grabbed her phone and soon a new projection started in the dome. You raised a single eyebrow when Wanda pinned you to the futon, her lips curling into a mischievous smile.

“Well, then, meanwhile I will just do the second part of my wish.”

“Second part?” Wanda nodded leaning in.

“Yep, I wish to kiss you, and show you how much I love you, how much I thank the skies for having me given the opportunity of meeting you.” Wanda then leaned closer to your face, “I wish to kiss you until the story above our heads is no more and the only option you have is to take me home and spend the night with me.”

“Then, my lady, allow me to make those wishes a reality.”

Their laughter soon filled the dome, and it came accompanied by a sudden gasp and the sound of kissing and playful banter.

Wanda never imagined that her decision to leave Vision would end up with her finding herself, while in the process getting a job and making new friends. Not even in her wildest dreams did Wanda imagine that she would come across someone like you that, for the very first moment create a lasting impression on her to the point Wanda decided to explore the relationship.

Her past had finally stayed in the past, with Vision in jail and her getting the full custody of her children, Wanda now was sure she could secure her future while at the same time seek out the peace and happiness she so desperately needed. Now, with you kissing her slowly while sharing a moment of pure, and unrestrained happiness, Wanda knew that every single decision she had taken had led her to that moment, it had led her to you.

And she didn’t regret it.

With you, Wanda understood that she didn’t need to lie to herself, that she didn’t need to hide or to run. With you, Wanda discovered she could be herself and finally give in.

To be loved, and to love.

That was all that matter.

**********

Three years later

Morning had arrived with a bright sun, and no clouds in the sky.

You served the coffee while glancing out the window, the sound of running footsteps brought a smile to your face knowing that the holidays were the perfect opportunity for the twins to break havoc. No sooner had you thought this, Billy and Tommy came through the door wearing the baggy pants and the t-shirt they had chosen to wear that day.

“Morning, Y/N!” Billy came to you wrapping his arms on your midsection before going to the fridge, Tommy chuckled sitting down on the stool waiting until Billy brought two glasses and set the orange juice on the table.

“You guys have a lot of energy for a Monday morning.” You hummed when they shook their heads innocently.

“Nu-uh, just…America told us she would take us to the lake.” Tommy said shrugging.

“And, we haven’t said anything about…you know.” Billy mumbled looking around the room before settling his eyes on you, “so we thought you would be happy to know we will be out of your hair today!”

You chuckled ruffling his hair affectionately, setting your coffee on the table while serving the orange juice to the boys.

They had grown a great deal and now at seven they were far smarter than you or even Wanda gave them credit for. Three years ago, you never thought possible to fall in love again, nor did you thought whatever started as a tentative relationship would end up being the best that happened to you. You glanced at the boys that started talking animatedly while mentioning the different places America and Kate were supposed to taken them to, you smiled knowing your sister adored them and was about ready to do whatever they wanted as long as she got to spend some time to them.

You sighed leaning against the counter taking a long sip from the coffee, in the last years a lot of things had changed in your life. America had finally found her passion, she had decided to pursue a career in international affairs and her path led her directly into one of the most important universities in Europe, which ended up with Kate studying a couple of miles away from her. Whatever had started as a school crush, it had developed into a serious relationship that both of them had dealt with maturity.

You had finally gotten the time you needed to organise the business, and while your presence was always required when important matters arise, you had taken it upon yourself to be in charge of the development section of the company. It was easier, and it gave you the time you needed to spend with Wanda and the children.

The sound of childish argument brough a smile into your face, soon you caught the well-known voice of your girlfriend and your heat melt right away when Wanda appeared behind the hall wearing a familiar frown while placing her hands on her hips.

“Okay, you two, stop this argument right now or there won’t be any outing with America.”

“Yes, mum!” The twins said at the same time focusing on their beverages.

You locked your eyes with Wanda, your lips curling into a smile while the woman softened completely making her way to where you were standing casually. She leaned in pecking your lips while stealing your mug.

“Morning.” You whispered wrapping your arm around her hips, she giggled leaning forward before accepting a deeper kiss.

“Ugh, mom!”

“Y/N!”

You finished the kiss turning to them, “I will hold you to this moment when you guys bring over your partners home and decided to kiss them in front of us.”

“No!”

“Never!”

“I would never be this corny!”

“Never!”

You chuckled rolling your eyes, Wanda leaned in kissing you one more time before going to the coffee maker and serving another cup of coffee. You glanced at your watch knowing America would be there any moment now, your heart beating a tad bit faster while the heavy void you had felt on your lower abdomen increased and your chest tightened at what you had planned for the day.

Tommy and Billy glanced at one another before placing their hands on their mouth and snickering, you mock glared at them and the sudden exchanged didn’t go amiss to Wanda. The young woman narrowed her eyes standing right beside you.

“Okay, what is it?” She asked, and her suspicions only grew when the three of you answered at the same time.

“Nothing!”

You glanced at the twins, the three of you started laughing while Wanda softened her features. Even if she got curious, and a little wary, she couldn’t help but love these moments in which you and the twins would behave like a family. Once she had given in, you became the light of her life, your smile and your occurrences were always a source of amusement and tenderness, and the twins had come to love you in ways Wanda thought would be difficult to do so. They accept you faster than what she thought, and ever since that day after the planetarium you and her had been together in the good, the bad, the ugly and the pretty.

“You guys…” Wanda started but whatever she was going to say was cut short by a knock on the door.

“Save by the bell, guys! That must be America, love.” You gave Wanda a quick peck on her lips before running towards the door, once more the twins looked at one another before holding back their snickers.

“Okay, what is it?”

“Nu-uh, mom, it’s a secret!” Tommy said emptying the glass in a single sip.

“We promised not to say anything, mom.” Billy continued shrugging before approaching Wanda and offering her a hug, “but I love you!”

Wanda narrowed her eyes hugging Billy back, “I love you too, both of you.”

“Hey!! Where are my favourite guys in the whole world?!”

America stretched her arms to welcome Billy and Tommy, Kate rolled her eyes moving past them with a smile to greet Wanda. Wanda chuckled when their attention turned to Kate, America approached her wrapping her arms around the young woman.

“Ugh, I missed you so much, Wands! How’s everything? My sister still giving you trouble?”

“Hey! I never gave her any trouble, did I?” You pouted standing beside Wanda, the other woman shook her head putting you closer to her.

“Never, my love, you are a well-behaved girlfriend whenever you and the twins are not playing to break havoc.” Wanda pecked your lips turning to America. “Everything is perfect, but I have a feeling my girlfriend and my sons are planning something I should know about.”

This times around America opened her eyes with her mouth hanging opened, Kate gasped and the twins put their hands on their mouths. You snorted rolling your eyes, with this level of secrecy it was a surprised Wanda had not really discovered what you had planned for her that day.

“No, I mean there is no…Oh, look at the time, guys are you ready?” Kate babbled looking around while trying to evade any interaction with Wanda who had her eyes on her.

America snorted softening her stare while her girlfriend took the twins to their room, she then turned to Wanda who had a single eyebrow lifted waiting for an explanation she would not receive. At least, not from America.

“Don’t look at me, I’m just a passerby ready to take the twins on an adventure of a lifetime.” She said lifting her arms, Wanda snorted turning to you.

“You know, sooner or later I will find out your secrets?”

“I’m counting on it, Wands.” You whispered leaning in to kiss her, “now, how about you go and take a bath and I help America around.”

Wanda nodded dreamily, she gave you a quick smile before turning to America and giving the young woman another hug.

“It is good to see you again, America, see you tonight at dinner, right?”

“Yeo, we will be there!” America glanced at Wanda walking away, she waited until she was pretty sure Wanda had left before turning to you. “Well?”

“Well? You’re the one who should tell me if everything is ready!” You whispered harshly at your sister glancing down the corridor before settling your eyes on America.

The young woman rolled her eyes, but her lips played a familiar smile while she tapped something on her phone. Soon you were giving a fine idea of what she had prepared with the help of Kate and your friends; it had been hard at first to get what you needed to make of that day special. Your face lit up completely, and America could see the ghost of a smile on your lips while your eyes scanned the images she had store on her phone.

When you first shared with America your intentions, the young woman had been excited. In the last couple of years, she had seen the love between you and Wanda grow in something completely different. It was not the same relationship you shared with Shuri, and certainly it wasn’t the same type of relationship Wanda had shared with Jarvis. The both of you had been the best that could happen to the other, Wanda had learnt to love and be love, to trust in herself while also trust in the affection others held for her. You learnt to let go and to actually trust in the person beside you, you got to see how Wanda was ready to be a part of your life without losing her own little universe with the twins.

It had been a rocky path, there were fights, and sometimes it was quite difficult to fight against the demons of the past. But, America knew, if it hadn’t been because of the deep love you two felt for one another, the relationship would have been over years ago.

“I think she will love it, and I’m just…” America trailed off before offering you a quick hug, “I think this is amazing.”

You sighed putting your hand inside your pocket, the squared box resting inside your pocket.

“Thank you, this looks amazing.” You glanced at the hall before turning to America, “at what time you think we can go over there?”

“Mmm, I would say the best would be around 4pm, we will be there waiting for you so…” America waved her hands excited, “God, I can’t hardly wait, please tell me if anything happens.”

“I will, Kiddo, thank you.” You wrapped your arms around her, “I really missed you.”

“I missed you too.” America chuckled when she caught the excited chatter of the twins and Kate coming over, “now, I will take them off of your plate for a while, we will have time to get up to date, for now, go!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You watched as they left in the midst of laughter and light conversation, your hand sneaking inside your pocket putting out the black box you had bought a long time ago. Your heart skipped a beat, your hand clenching tightly around it ready to give the next step in your relationship with Wanda. Your lips broke into a tender smile, the memories of the last three years filling up your mind with determination and love.

“Y/N?”

You put the box away turning to see Wanda approaching you slowly, the swinging of her hips and that flirty smile she wore made your mouth go dry and your lower abdomen tingled with anticipation.

“Yes?” You asked, Wanda came to you chewing on her lower lip playfully.

“Since the kids are gone, and you and I are alone, I thought…we could shower together, don’t you think?” This was said in a low, husky tone, her lips wrapping around your earlobe while her hands sneaked inside your shirt.

“I think…you have a wicked mind, Wands.” You replied, but before Wanda could do or said anything else you took her in your arms crashing your lips to hers.

Needless to say, you and she left the home later than what you should, but the both of you had satiated the thirst you had for one another. Love evident in your faces, as you walked around the city hand by hand.

_________________________________

The country of Sokovia was a beautiful land with a rich past and a colourful landscape.

Wanda had been excited when you announced the trip, not really believing you were going to comply with her wishes until you present her with the four plane tickets. By the time you four had arrived at the city of Novi Grad, Wanda had been completely excited telling you and her children all about her hometown. She spoke of the difficult times they had lived, and the wonderful things the new government had done to fix the mistakes of the past.

Billy and Tommy had been avid listeners, and they had started talking to Wanda and to you in sokovian while Wanda was just completely happy with the development on their vacations. You had been just happy to see her smile, to see the excitement in her eyes when she pointed to all the places she remembered.

“I still can believe you brought me here.” Wanda said sitting down on the table right outside a beautiful balcony looking at the far away mountains covering half of the city.

“Why not?” You replied taking the menu with a smile, “if anything, I should be sorry for taking so long, but you know? Life has been getting in the way, and I wanted for you to have time to enjoy this place.”

Wanda didn’t know how you did it, the way you were always giving it your all to make her happy. She leaned forward placing her hand on top of yours.

“This is perfect, and it’s the perfect time.”

You smiled back at her, looking at the menu while glancing at the watch on your wrist. You were getting restless as the time for the main event approached; Wanda was looking at her menu pursing her lips before returning her attention to you.

“Can I order something for you? There is something in here I want you to try out…” She trailed off glancing away for a moment, a shadow crossing her eyes, “it is something mom used to cook for me and Pietro and I just…”

“I would love to, Wands. Go ahead, you’re the expert so we will do as you said.” You replied closing the menu, you waited until the food had been ordered before leaning forward playing with Wanda’s fingers.

“You know? Now that you mentioned this about the food, I remember the story you told me once.”

“Which one?” Wanda furrowed her brows blinking away while trying to remember.

“The one about the forest, is around here, isn’t it?”

The way her eyes opened wide, and her whole face lit up made your heart skipped a beat. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her as she turned around trying to point out the direction in which the forest was located.

“Yes! Oh, I can believe you remember…”

“I remembered everything you tell me, love.” You replied, and it was the tone of voice you used what made Wanda turned to you with narrowed eyes, you softened your features offering a reassuring smile to her.

“I always make the effort to have it in my mind so I can make sure to bring happiness to you, to see the very same expression you are wearing at the moment.”

Wanda turned her head away, her cheeks burning bright red while she smiled tenderly at your words. Even after all this time you still got to make her feel so self-conscious of the love you profess to her.

“I love you for that.” Wanda finally said, and you smiled back at her winking.

“Well, what about you and I go over there after lunch? I’m pretty sure at this time of the year must be quite the sight.”

“You mean it?” Wanda exclaimed excitedly, you nodded and soon thank the heavens you were sitting down for the kiss she gave you made your knees trembled and your whole body tingled with anticipation.

******

The afternoon was falling slowly, the wind was cold so the burning sun above your heads was not as strong as it could have been in a dry weather.

You and Wanda walked down the city, your hand joined in a single embrace while conversation flew with easiness. The topics varied from school, to your work, to the recent happenings of the world, to the twins and America; soon you two found yourselves talking about movies and books, the places you would like to visit or the worlds you would like to be in.

Life with Wanda was never bored, and every single time you discovered something new about her that made you fall in love with her even more.

Her excitement at being in her country was something you would cherish forever.

She dragged you down the streets, and then down the pebbled road leading to the forest. The place had changed since she was last there, it was now a national park that had been taken care off with the strictest rules and cares a country could provide to such a beautiful setting.

You took a deep breath when the road spread before your eyes, your eyes lifted to the signs, most of them pointing to different sections of the forest. Your eyes finally fell on the word Lake, and you lifted your hand to point it out to your girlfriend.

“There, lake, can we go there?”

“Yes, of course!”

You chuckled when she just grabbed your hand again, she twirled around wrapping her arms around your neck leaning in to kiss you slowly.

“Have a told you how much I love you?” She asked playfully, you placed your hands on her waist helping her walked backwards while you advanced down the road with her in your arms.

“Mmhm, not recently, no. I think I need a reminder.”

Wanda giggled leaning in, her kisses were soft and tentative, “I love you, Y/N, every time I think this is not possible, I fall in love with you even more and I just…”

Your heart shrank at her confession, putting her to you with your lips moulding against hers you poured all the love you felt for her.

“I love you to, Wands.”

Wanda sighed standing by your side lifting her face to the trees above her, her eyes gleaming happily just as the both of you advanced towards the lake. The forest was located it twenty minutes away from the city, and the entrance had been built around a public parking lot where people could acquire all the necessary materials for camping or a nice picnic. Some of the different paths had been fixed to give easy access to the people that visit the place, but the road leading to the lake had been left untouched with the nature almost claiming it back.

You were admiring the huge trees surrounding the area, the sound of the birds and other animals running around to hide away from the humans. You lifted your stare to see the blue sky above your head, and the cold breeze touching your heated skin. Everything was quiet and peaceful, only the sound of your footsteps seemed to interrupt the sounds of the nature.

Your eyes lifted squinting them when you spot the opening right ahead of you, your lips curling slightly when you finally spotted something else. You had arrived to the lake, with a quick gesture you stood before Wanda stopping her advanced towards her destination.

“What is it?” Just like she did early in the morning, she narrowed her eyes with a glint of suspicion gleaming in them. You shifted your weigh from one foot to the other, your hand scratching the back of your neck while your eyes danced around instead of facing Wanda.

You stood before her, your hand sneaking inside your pocket until you brough forth a single blindfold. She cocked a brow, half-amused, half-expectant at what you had planned.

“I may or may not have planned something for you.” You said tentatively, Wanda snorted but all you could see in her face was love and amusement.

“Figures, and I bet Billy, Tommy, America and Kate are in it?” She already knew the answer, but there was something else she couldn’t pinpoint to.

“Yep.” You admitted lifting your hand, “there is something… I mean, it is a surprised.”

“And I have to wear the blindfold.” Wanda grabbed the piece of clothing, never losing her smile, she winked at you, “kinky, perhaps later on we can use it for other…kind of surprised?”

You laughed out loud shaking your head while helping the brunette put on the blindfold.

“I love how your wicked mind works, Mrs. Maximoff.”

“Well, I love it when you play along, Mrs. Y/L/N.”

You let out a deep breath, the sun was still high in the sky and now Wanda stood before you blindfolded. Her hand found yours, squeezing comfortingly with that beautiful smile you had come to love and crave.

“Are you okay?” She finally asked, you swallowed down your doubts nodding before you remembered she couldn’t see you.

“I am.” Then, as an afterthought, “I’m just nervous.”

Wanda brought your hand to her lips, never losing her smile.

“Whatever it is you prepared for me, I know I would love it and…Y/N…there is no one else I would love to be with right now, you are the love of my life.”

You chuckled loving the tenderness Wanda used when talking to you, the fact she had come to know your insecurities and was always ready to reassure you of her love and your worth.

“And you are mine, Wands, now let’s go…”

You grabbed her hand and without wasting any more time you led her down the road towards the lake.

The lake was a great extension of water that spread out before a small beach surrounded by the forest. It was filled with grass, trees and bushes, with a crystalline water that was reflecting the light of the sun and the colour of the sky at the moment. This part of the forest was usually used for light lunches, and some swimming but at this time of the year the place was emptied and you had taken advantage of your money to get this small spot for you and your family for a couple of hours.

There was a single bench that had been decorated with red and pink, there were some balloons with a bucket filled with ice and wine. You helped your girlfriend so she could sit on the bench, all around her there was nothing more than flowers, blue lilies and orchids, the full scene had been planned out and built with the help of America and Kate that had just come from their hiding place with the twins.

You smiled at them putting a finger to your lips, standing before Wanda you pulled your mobile out of your pocket and let a single song filled the silence around the both of you.

“Oh, that’s…” Wanda trailed off when she recognized the trumpets and the melodic voice of Elle Fitzgerald. “Y/N…”

Your name sound beautifully on her lips, you took a deep breath looking around the place knowing you had chosen right. The lake was gleaming to your right, while the forest stood to your left, the mountains wearing a white bald head projected a protective shadow on the valley. This was what Wanda had always desired, what she had harboured in her heart when she still believed in love.

“Y/N…” She repeated your name, this time around with a hint of apprehension in her voice.

You knelt before her, your left knee touching the ground while your right knee bend to hold your elbow up your hand opening the box you had been carrying with you for over a year.

“You can take the blindfold off, Wanda.” You finally said, and your voice trembled with the sheer emotion you were experimenting at the moment.

Wanda took her blindfold, soon her breath caught in her throat and whatever sight she had before her became a blurred of colours and familiar images. Right in front of her was the lake and the forest of her childhood, the very same she had visited in her mind and memory after leaving Sokovia behind. Her green eyes flickered around until they found your eyes, and soon they fell upon the box in your hand and the silver ring resting in there.

The music was still playing around the both of you, and Wanda wanted to see if there was someone else or if the both of you were alone. But she was incapable of looking everywhere but at you.

Your lips trembled, your hand trying to hold still as you cleared your throat lifting your chin to face her with determination and love.

“Wanda Maximoff, I have brought you here because I love you.” You stated taking a deep breath making sure you never wavered in your intentions. “I realized a long time ago I can’t even think of the possibility of not having you by my side, of not living and growing old with you.”

Wanda sat frozen on the bench, her heart hammering hard against her chest while her stomach drop and her body tingled all over until a heavy pressured settled on her chest.

“I have loved you from the moment I met you, I just didn’t know it yet.” You chuckled shaking your head, “and I would love to make you happy, to love you, to cherish you, and to be your friend, your partner if you allow me…so, today in this place and with my heart on my hands, I want to ask you…”

“Yes…” Wanda whispered, you furrowed your brows shaking your head.

“No, wait, I need to ask…”

“Marry me?” Wanda asked, her voice trembling and her lips breaking into a content smile, you frowned though your eyes gleamed with amusement.

“No, you marry me, please?”

Wanda threw herself at you, her arms wrapped tightly around you while you fell to the ground hugging her back. She was sobbing, her voice a mere whispered in your ear.

“Yes, yes, I will…Yes, I marry you.”

You laughed turning your head and kissing her deeply.

“Then, yes, I marry you too, Wands.”

America and Kate both rolled their eyes, but the twins were squealing excitedly no longer able to hold themselves the run towards you and Wanda joining in the embrace.

Wanda turned to them surprised, returning their hug while turning to you and stretching her left hand where you placed the ring on her finger. Your smile was huge, and it was matching hers with the twins hugging both of you while talking excitedly.

“That means I can call you mom now?!” Tommy finally asked with you almost choking on your spit.

Wanda rolled her eyes fixing his hair before lifting her eyes to glance at you.

“Only if she wants to, Tommy.”

“You want to, don’t you, Y/N?” Tommy asked pouting, you ruffled his hair putting him to you.

“Only if I get to call you Tommy bear!”

Laughter soon filled the lake, with everyone enjoying the rest of the afternoon while you alongside with Kate, America and Wanda toast to the engagement.

“I can believe you…” Wanda closed the distance tilting her head to taste your lips with hers, you smile into the kiss with your hands placing themselves on her hips.

“You remember…” She said softly, in between kisses.

“I never forgot, Wands. With you, everything is easier, you know? I love you, and I just…I want to make you happy.”

“You make me happy already.” She replied leaning into your embrace, “but I will be complete the moment I can call you my wife.”

You smiled placing a single kiss on her forehead.

“I will be complete the moment I can call you wife as well.”

Wanda turned in your arms, her eyes following her children while they talked and played along with America and Kate. You placed your chin on her shoulder, watching the same scene with a soft smile adorning your features. The young woman lifted her hand to see the ring you had placed moments ago, a green stone that matched her eyes and white gold recovering the ring.

Her life was finally hers, and her happiness was finally something she knew she deserved and that was right there for her to live it. Wanda never imagined the moment she made the decision of leaving Vision her life would change so drastically, she never even played with the idea of falling in love again or finding someone ready to be patient with her past and fall in love with her.

Wanda never entertained the idea of anyone wanting to marry someone like her, damage and with two kids that were still growing up. Then, she met you. And she couldn’t imagine being without you by her side.

With you, she learnt to love again, to trust and to give herself without fear.

“Tonight, America and Kate are taking the twins to a festival and then back to their Air BnB so…we have the house for ourselves, to celebrate.” You whispered playfully, Wanda leaned back placing her hands on yours.

She tilted her head with her lips teasing yours.

“Then, let’s celebrate with them first, before I show you my appreciation for all the wonderful things you do for me.”

“It’s a deal, Love.”

“Y/N.” She called your name with a serious tone, you turned to her welcoming her kiss before smiling goofily at her.

“What was that for?”

“I love you.” She said simply, you softened squeezing her hand comfortingly.

“I love you, now and forever.”

And, of that, Wanda didn’t have any doubt for she too love you now and forever, until the end of time.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandaxreader #female reader #imagine wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x female reader #reader #Female reader #Wanda Maximoff

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velvet-games · 6 months

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I finally finished the piece for @prince-liest's OC, Tzafael! this really reminded me of how fun character design is (and also that I've completely forgotten how to make digital art, but that's besides the point...) <3

credit to @hogbogglerspirits for the umbrella design! I kind of butchered it so please look at the original and throw lots of love at them

LOTS of notes, draft sketches, brainstorming, etc. below the cut. enjoy!

(note: a lot of what I'm talking about is based on posts prince made under their #tzafael tag, so take a look at those if you haven't yet!)

thanks for joining me below the cut! here's the sketch without the colors as a treat (in case you want to color it yourself or something, idk).

notes about making the digital drawing:

holy shit this took me forever -- I was not kidding about forgetting how to make digital art lmao. I forgot how much less forgiving digital lines are and genuinely lost the spoons to even attempt lineart, hence just a sketch below the colors.

some of you might've seen the original sketch I sent to prince, which the digital version diverges from just a little. it's mostly the halo which I'll explain later, and I finally caved and drew the sixth eye (you can tell I drew and erased it multiple times in the sketch lmao -- still don't know if I prefer it with or without)

here's the original color ref by the lovely @gendermeh! my color scheme ended up looking really different, so some notes about that:

I was looking at references for magpies like this

and I wanted to basically follow that color scheme while also being somewhat similar to the original -- dark head/shoulders --> dark top of the jacket, bright blue wings --> bright blue bottom of the jacket, greenish tailfeathers --> green pants, hints of purple --> purplish sleeve and pant ends

I also tried (and mostly failed, let's be real) to capture the iridescence of the feathers -- they look like oil spilled on the pavement or iridescent hematite to me! I think the key ended up being adding bright greens/purples and roughly blending them into the blues or vice versa but I didn't really figure that out until I got to the pants lol.

I'm gonna be honest; I don't remember why I went with this shape for the tailcoat. I just remember being unhappy with the sketch and then trying a bunch of different shapes that mostly looked worse lol -- I think I landed on this because a split tail kind of looks like wings?

KEPT the shoes -- absolutely magnifique. I wish I knew how to color gold better.

added lots of jewelry! they like shiny things :)

ALSO PLEASE LOOK AND APPLAUD ME. I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO LABEL MY LAYERS!! NO I DON'T REMEMBER WHY THE HALO HAS ITS OWN LAYER.

alright, time for some more design notes/explanations + draft sketches!

but first, a couple disclaimers:

I want to make it very clear that I LOVE everything about the original design. I made a lot of changes based on personal preference/the way I interpreted the character. I was actually planning on making a digital piece that was more faithful to the original design too, but I was just out of spoons for it cause of life stuff.

you probably shouldn't try to read the notes I made in the sketches I'm about to show you unless I say otherwise. most of it is incoherent brain vomit in illegible artist handwriting and I'll transcribe/explain the stuff I think is important :) (the stuff in quotes are direct transcriptions of my notes)

I know my sketches are very messy lol. I only draw for fun, so I usually don't force myself to make stuff any neater than necessary unless it's supposed to be a formal piece. try to bear with me.

my first few sketches of them! (I think?) this was before I sent prince a laundry list of questions so I was still trying to get a vibe

"magpie -- beak lips?" -- you'll see this in a few sketches; I considered giving them the lipstick design that velvette has since it looks like a beak. I still kind of think it's cute, but 1) I'm pretty sure velvette is the only character that has them, so I didn't want to make it seem like they were related somehow and 2) I thought it might be distracting with how much other crazy stuff I ended up including in their head/face

also, sidenote since it's relevant to what I said about vel: something I realized was important is how one character's design relates to the designs of the rest of the cast. I wasn't sure how much I should've gone for what looked good in a vacuum, how much should be based on what other characters looked like canonically, or what other characters would look like if I also designed them. it ended up being mostly the second option, but it was honestly still a struggle. should I take away some of the tumblr-sexyman-ness (no shade to tumblr sexymen; I love them) because there are other characters that already have it? should I relate their design to sera's and emily's in the show or should I think about how I would've designed sera and emily? should I follow some of the design philosophy of the original show and just throw stuff on there because it looks cool (the answer is yes btw)? decisions, decisions ...

I don't think this showed up really well in most of the drawings, but they actually have a black line down their nose! let's take a look at sera:

since they're siblings, I wanted to include some similar facial markings. the nose line ended up being the only thing I kept though -- I was going to include freckles, but I have a compulsive need to give every character giant bottom lashes so there ended up being no room T.T I like that the magpie's hints of purple kind of match hers tho!

the wingification of the hair begins! I was still unsure of it at this point, but it was an idea I had since I was kind of struggling with how straight the feathers were in the original.

"maybe the ones on their head count as wings (so only one main pair)" -- I originally just had the 2 pairs of wings on their head, so I was thinking of just giving them 1 pair on their back so there would be still be 6 total. also this middle drawing of them is meant to be their exorcist outfit (I wanted it to be a cross between what the other exorcists wear and sera's outfit)

at this stage, I was thinking of giving them more magpie-like characteristics, so I looked at some references and tried to emulate them in a more human design. this ended up being really awkward so I scrapped it, but I still like the idea that their exorcist mask looks like a bird (kind of like a plague doctor's)

peekaboo! I love the idea of them using the wing hair to cover their eyes lol. (ended up using that idea for my own seraph OC since that's their biblically accurate purpose: to cover their eyes/faces in reverence/humility -- doesn't really fit with tzafael tho lol, so they show their face most of the time)

an eyeball in the bowtie -- pretty self-explanatory. the eyeball motif is important.

the one in the middle is just me practicing drawing the original design, and the one on the right is another exorcist outfit I think. I wanted to include the diamond motif/points that sera has on her dress (the diamonds on the bottom turn into eyeballs, which is why the final design also has eyeballs on tzafael's sleeves/pants)

lots of notes on the side based on what prince said in response to my ask

"localized omniscience (power of sight) -- cool + ironic that their sight was supposed to serve God but made them see Heaven for what it really is instead"

another exorcist outfit, this time including the feathers

I was also experimenting with the halo; I was trying to make it look sort of like sera's crown, but that didn't feel right ...

some practice with eyes -- my style is pretty flexible with eye shapes, so I try to make them suit the character. I drew lute's eye and also an actual magpie's as references -- lute's because of the exorcist background and also because they looked appropriately sharp, magpie's for obvious reasons. once again, my compulsive need for giant bottom lashes strikes

there was honestly a lot to balance with the eyes -- I wanted them to look condescending/bored (lowered top lid) but also amused (raised bottom lid) and like a magpie (round) but also harsh/mischievous (sharp, maybe slit pupils like a snake) and similar to sera's (but not too decorated -- also does it make sense for them to look like sera's if emily's don't even look like sera's?)

considered having wings on the shoulders -- the magpie pattern is super cool, so it would've been nice to have that somewhere more explicitly in the design. I still think that might fit in an outfit they would wear in heaven (maybe for formal occasions)

the introduction of the sweatervest! honestly I kind of love this for the way it captures more of the preppy, spoiled old-money upper-class vibe some heaven residents have, but it was scrapped since I couldn't imagine them wearing that while trying to scare the denizens of hell. maybe something they wear casually though.

"yes nictating membrane (on every eye!)" -- AHH I'm so sad I didn't end up putting this to use. I just feel like the whole effect is based on actually seeing them blink, and I don't animate lol.

ugh, the nefarious laughter one ... don't worry I tried harder on a sketch later on lol.

"like the diamonds on Sera + Em" + "diamonds turn into eyes?" -- I draw the diamonds on the sweatervest turning into eyes later.

tried an actual bow instead of a bowtie -- very cute but didn't fit the vibe.

a skirt! I think they would wear a skirt sometimes.

"FUCK ASS BOB" -- asghdk the wingification of the hair continues. unfortunately, I'm realizing at this point that the silhouette of the hair is starting to look a lot like alastor's. I gave a very half-hearted attempt at mitigating this, but it goes back to the thing of how much I am obligated to the original show's designs and what looks cool to me -- I think the wing hair fits them and I didn't want to change it because of alastor, plus my alastor design actually has completely different hair anyway. I did add a third pair to the back to look like a ponytail though.

introduction of the scarf! I was actually going to include this in the final design but uh,,, I forgor. are you starting to see a pattern.

the reason for the scarf is that the "tzafael going to places they know they'll draw attention/can incite chaos" reminded me of that scene in avengers where loki walks into a fancy building looking pretentious af and just casually stabs a guy's eye out. not really the same thing but I felt like the vibe matched. hence, loki's funny little scarf fit.

uaoughdfjh it was SO FUN to draw the wing hair, and it was at this point that I realized they had to stay even though I wasn't sure if it was too different from the original.

gossiping with rosie cause that's the first person I thought of -- tzafael also summoned a pearl necklace to clutch because of the sheer drama of it all (your ex-husband did what??)

also started drawing the rings on their hands. magpie like shiny.

lots of notes cause I was trying to compile the things I still needed to think about/incorporate into the final (I thought this was gonna be the last draft ... haha)

trying to include more bird/eye motifs

"fish ... purse?" -- ha! I forgot I was gonna give them a fish purse. I think I drew that in a later sketch, but not them wearing it.

"picked up Hellish traits bc of extended stay -- existential crisis?" -- I asked prince about the sharp teeth, and their answer implied that they became sharp as they stayed in hell longer, which got me thinking ... I feel like that's actually a great body horror concept. lucifer falling and looking like a normal angel at first, eventually waking up to more and more devilish features and feeling more and more like he's lost his home and his past self ... spooky.

another exorcist outfit -- I actually really like the eyes on the ribs! I never made a final draft for the exorcist uniform, but it would probably look close to what I drew here.

the one on the bottom was meant to be similar to the feathered shoulder pad idea, but this time with the whole magpie (with giant eyes). tried putting the "freckles" (really just dots in this case) over their brows, but that ended up looking kinda weird.

the eye is pretty close to the final design

the one on the right was supposed to be the full final design, but I was totally off lol -- the long trench coat really doesn't give off the right vibe at all

playing around more with the loki vibes of the scarf, also added an eyeball to the chest

I never got happy with the design of the back of the coat -- I think it should probably just be blank at this point. but the sketch here is meant to look like wings/tailfeathers.

yet another exorcist outfit, this time with more magpie motifs. I actually like this one a lot, but I probably should've added the eyes on the ribs from the last sketch. I think I also considered giving them actual tailfeathers at this point.

thanks for sticking with me! I promise we're almost done. have a trans dinosaur I saw while I was travelling as a treat <3

10:

this is after I finished the sketch for the final piece and realized I didn't like the halo design. I drew lute's, sera's, em's, and adam's as refs. (honestly I love the show's idea that each person/people of each rank have a different kind of halo -- I wonder if they can switch them out?)

my main inspiration ended up being the exorcist halo, but I made it look more like an eyeball -- since it always points toward heaven, we can say it's always "looking" at heaven.

(also sera's feather lashes! they're so cute)

11:

EVEN MORE EXORCIST DOODLES

12:

tzafael shooing away my fox demon OC

13:

these are actually sketches for my own seraph OC (raguel), but I wanted to include it since it has even more wing/feather hair variations. I also think the idea of the eyelashes being feather-like could've been cool for tzafael.

14:

some more OG design doodles

tzafael and raguel together because self-indulgence is the name of the game babey (also wanted to draw tzafael freaked out with their wings flared)

(raguel's blind btw, hence asking for eyes -- tzafael has so many!)

you can probably read the dialogue here so give it a shot. I believe in you.

15:

you know what? the fish purse deserves some doodles

16:

putting them in Situations! I was reading over prince's posts again and I realized there were some funny things I could draw them doing/saying

again you can probably read the words here

angel dust also loves fish (but is apparently bad at taking care of them, hence the suffocating blobfish), so tzafael shows him their aquarium (complete with live fish and flora ofc)

I thought alastor was 8 ft but apparently he's 7.3 ft? so tzafael is enjoying the .2 ft they have on him

trying and failing again to come up with a design for the back of the jacket lol

THE crowley quote

apparently the halo still sends signals from the exorcists -- thought their reaction to the battle at the hotel would be funny

the nefarious laughter (take 2) that I promised -- based on a doodle of alastor viv did that I found

them being sad and curling up in a pile of shiny things like a dragon

OKAY I'M DONE. huge, huge thank you to prince for sharing their OC! this was a lot of fun and clearly inspired me a lot haha. please check out their writing; it's literally so good that I can't read anything else these days. I am chewing on their thoughts constantly.

this was an absolute monster of a post, so if you're still reading, I am both impressed and bewildered at your patience. I hope you enjoyed! (I certainly did!)

#prince (because they are very sweet): I'm excited to see your thoughts!#my thoughts: magpie like shiny hehe #hazbin hotel oc #prince-liest #hazbin hotel #my art #character design #sera hazbin hotel #em hazbin hotel

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skullfck · 1 year

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@unpossession SAID: Dear Hawk,

It’s late at night, you’ve just left (about an hour ago) and I keep wishing that you hadn’t; a letter will have to make up for the loss of your company. I’m still drunk, so please forgive my messy handwriting-

editors note: her handwriting is perfect. neat, girlish swirls for o’s, loopy l’s and perfect polka dots punctuate the i’s. each letter connected by a seemingly effortless swoosh of her pen. black ink barely smudged. she must be shitting him.

-and please also forgive any mushy, gushy talk that might come out of this. By morning I might have come to my senses and decided not to post (mail) this at all, but knowing me I will. I think it’s important to be earnest. When you care about somebody you should say it. Also, apparently I am just a fan of embarrassing myself out of commitment to the bit. Anyway. Feel free to skim read. I’m sure all this is going to be very silly in the light of day.

I tried reading after you left but I was too distracted by the empty space on my sofa where you were sitting, so I moved to that side hoping to fill the void and started to wonder what it’s like to be you. I started trying to take up more space, spread my legs (not like that, perv) in that way that guys always seem to without meaning, broadened my shoulders and slouched a bit. I tried to imagine myself where I was sitting but couldn’t seem to grasp my own face. You’re the first person I’ve had over since I moved in here, I wanted to know if I look happy here. I’ve been trying so hard to make it a place I will be comfortable in my own company. Now it seems I’m just chasing your ghost. Which is something I do. Obviously. I’m trying to stop that, too.

I have this problem where I never feel close enough to people. I wanted to say thank you for carrying me home tonight but it isn’t enough. I feel like I use words so much that they lose all meaning. I like that you don’t use too many even though you know how. I know you know how. I might take a vow of silence or something just to see what it’s like. There I go again, copying you. I’ll try to cut that out now. It’s almost impossible to go back to where I started once I get too into it. Somehow I don’t think I’ll pull it off the way you do.

I hope you’ll come back soon. I’m sorry for the things I said on the walk home. I meant all of it but I didn’t mean to say all of it. Things will be different here, I think. But I said that about New York and I said that about the old apartment and I let things inside and it ruins it all. I get lonely, and it’s not like I go looking for trouble but it seems to find me and swaddle me and make me feel safe in the chaos. I feel like if I lose myself in the dark then i won’t be me, and I’m really sorry, I know you like me and you think I’m sweet but I cannot stand being alone with myself. I’m not

You’re so handsome. I wish you’d stop smiling at me in my head. I wanna make you smile all the time and you’re so stoic most of the time. I was sitting in the bar waving my arms around like an idiot for that bartenders attention but really it was for yours, just to see if I could make you laugh. I made you laugh a lot tonight. Mission accomplished.

I can’t keep a thought straight. This is gonna be such a shit letter. Oh well. I’m gonna see you real soon, probably, and I’ll try not be in need of any carrying next time but I like being close to you, so maybe if you could just pretend I do, that would work out just fine.

With love,

Wednesday’s Child, full of whiskey.

Ps. I still think about that poem you wrote me when I touch myself. ✠ send a MESSAGE?

The letter rests face-down on his chest, keeping him company during the high. Occasionally, he’ll lift it up and read it again, finding new meaning in every word and reopening a wound he didn’t even know he had. The drugs keep him from crying the same way he did when he first read it, but they can only numb so much. The ache is persistent, unyielding. Sometimes he has to change positions just to breathe.

He wrote something, too, that night. Came home and scribbled some bullshit out onto a piece of paper that was promptly crumpled up and thrown away. You’re so handsome, I wish you’d stop smiling at me in my head, battling it out with the half-remembered fragment She thinks I’m handsome because / I don’t look her in the eyes too long. He’s so fucking worthless. She never should have sent this to him—she never should have written it. It’s a waste of talent, a waste of feeling, on somebody like him.

He’s clinging to it like a lifeline, though. He’s wrapping himself up in the words like a warm blanket that still has the smell of somebody long gone. It’s such a human letter, full of human thoughts and ideas, and that innate goodness he always saw in her—so pure and raw and terrifying—bleeds all across the page.

When he shuts his eyes, he goes back to that night and he doesn’t leave her house. He goes into her bedroom and he throws her on the bed like she’s been wanting him to do, cutting the clothes off her with a knife. When she parts her lips at the feeling of him he whispers into her mouth promise me you won’t let him inside, pinning her wrists above her head with one hand. She whimpers for him but doesn’t say anything so he says it again, growling this time, promise me you won’t fucking let him inside—

He comes to with the phone against his ear. It’s ringing, once, twice—and then she answers, because she never leaves him waiting long. He smiles sleepily.

“Hey, baby.”

#unpossession #☣︎ ???

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the-little-ewok · 2 years

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Tilt

Steven Grant X F/Reader (Marc is around a bit)

Word count: 4500 (ish)

Rating : T

Warnings : Angst, Softness, fluff, (not really a warning but Marc and Steven are aware of each other).

Summary: Steven Grant wants to tell you the truth about why he missed your date, but it isn't Steven you meet...

A/N: I am not a system, nor do I know anyone who is a system. This is based purely on my research, the show, and the information contained within the comics. Please forgive any offence.

I am planning on doing a part 2 much further into their relationship (and very nsfw) if ya'll like this so feedback is appreciated.

Un-beta'd so forgive any errors. That's on me.

Gif by Salome-c. Used just because I adore it.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Steven Grant had tilted your world. Well, not tilted exactly, more like entirely thrown it upside down and left it there, the wrong way up. Off-kilter, unstable. You hated the feeling of it, it made your stomach lurch.

And that's why you didn't ever expect to find yourself here, at his apartment, his note scrunched in your hand as you stare at the door, willing yourself to knock. You didn't expect to ever want to speak to him again if you were honest. Not after he stood you up on your date. You'd waited for well over an hour in the pouring rain, knowing that sometimes he lost track of time, but he hadn't shown up, not a phone call, a text, nothing.

Nothing until almost a week later. A voicemail full of apologies, a text message with far too many sad faces tagged on the end. You'd ignored it. You'd cradled your broken heart and avoided him at all costs.

But then the note turned up. Hastily shoved into the door of your work locker. A page ripped out of a notebook from the gift shop, screwed up and torn, covered in ink splats. Written no doubt with the quills and ink the gift shop also sold. You imagine Donna would murder Steven if she found out he’d used them. You shouldn’t care about that given the circumstances, but you do, and no matter how you try, you can't seem to stop caring. And Steven can't seem to stop making your head spin, even when he wasn't around.

Smoothing out the paper in your hand you flick your eyes over the words, reading once more the plea to come over, the half explanation that seemed to make no sense, an apology so sincere in its wording that you'd felt tears sting your eyes upon reading it, a story stranger than fiction.

But everything was jumbled up, like the story had been given in the wrong order, none of the pieces seemed to fit. Even the handwriting seemed to change, from quick scratched notes to soft looped letters. Nothing about the note had made sense and part of you worried it was some kind of joke.

The truth was you knew better than that though. Or at the very least, you hoped after all these months you knew Steven better than that. Sweet Steven with a V from the gift shop. Steven who made you tea every morning and left it on the side in the break room, who stuck hieroglyph doodles on post-it notes to your locker for you to learn. Steven who made you snort your drink out of your nose when he rolled his eyes behind Donna, pulling a face at some sarcastic comment she made. Steven, who got so nervous when you asked him out that he’d dropped an entire box of pens, and promptly had to spend ten minutes digging them back out from under the shelves.

Steven whose note told you he was someone else entirely.

Taking a deep breath you raise your hand and knock softly, still unsure if you want an answer to the thousand questions rolling around your mind.

The sound of multiple locks clicking open does nothing to settle the unease twisting in your stomach. You should leave. You should leave now and never look back. This all seems like such a terrible idea as the door slowly creaks open a slither.

But the moment you glimpse a head of dark messy curls, soft brown eyes wide with surprise to find you there, you're rooted to the spot.

"H-Hi," he stutters, fully opening the door, "You actually-you actually came? To let me explain?” The hopeful look that brightens his tired eyes fades to nothing the moment you open your mouth to answer his question.

"Is it some kinda joke?" You hadn’t meant it to come out quite so accusatory as it does but once it's out it's too late to take it back, although the guilt at his frown twists hard in your stomach.

“N-No. I know it seems mental but I promise, it's not a joke. I promise,” he repeats, sincerely swallowing hard. It's difficult to look at him, to see him looking at you with a mixture of sadness and concern.

“You can’t really expect me to believe you went to sleep and woke up in another country, Steven,” you shake your head, dropping your eyes to your shoes, paper crunching in your hand as you tighten your fingers. If he hadn't wanted to go on your date all he had to do was say so. He hardly needed to go to such elaborate lengths for your sake. "I'm a big girl. You could have just said you didn't want to go out."

“It's the truth."

Your head snaps up at his sudden change of accent. It's harsher, deeper, American. You've heard it before on the odd occasion. You've always assumed it's some kind of joke that you've never quite understood. It's on the tip of your tongue to yell at him for treating this like a joke, for dragging you here with some bullshit story just to make fun of you, but the moment you meet his eyes you realise it's no joke.

His gaze is darker, harder. He's broader, more confident, less awkward. He might still have Stevens messy curls and busy shirts, but the man in front of you is not Steven. Not even close.

“Do you want to come inside? I think I can explain better than that,” the man gestures to the note now crumpled into a ball in your fist. You've a good mind to turn around and leave right now, the anxiety gnawing at your belly. "We had a bit of a hard time deciding on the words."

You stare at him silently, willing your feet to turn around, to walk out of the building and never come back. This was no joke, but there's a creeping feeling of danger tingling across your skin instead. Steven hadn't given you a name in his scribbled out explanation. He just told you there was someone else involved, that he wasn't always Steven, that you needed to know the truth. Faced with this man now, you aren't sure you want to know.

"You don't have to be scared. Steven would tear the building down before he let someone hurt you and trust me, that's impressive for him." he grins, easily, confidently. It makes you miss Stevens' sweet shy smiles.

“Steven, I swear if this is some kinda fucked up joke, it’s not funny,”

“No, it's not funny at all is it? And my name is Marc,” he folds his arms and tilts his head as he regards you. Marc. Your fingers involuntarily tighten against the ball of paper, feeling it dig into your skin as it offers resistance against your crushing. Marc. Steven was Marc? Marc was Steven? Your head spins again and the world seems to tilt a little more unevenly.

"Come in, I'll leave the door open. You can leave anytime you want but I owe you an explanation. It's my fault Steven missed your date, and it's me who has to live with his miserable ass now. Honestly, you should be glad you don't have to listen to his complaints," Marc continues, not waiting for you to answer before he wanders back into the apartment.

You should leave.

Except your feet are following him into the apartment, the man who's not Steven. The man who calls himself Marc, and wears your friend's face.

"Tea, coffee? Something harder?" Marc leans against the kitchen counter, watching you as your eyes flitter around the loft apartment. Steven would never have asked you that. Steven would have known the answer.

"Tea, please.” The answer is automatic, given without much thought. It's not like you intend to stay for drinks, to discuss anything with this man, to entertain the idea that your friend is more than one person, to even try to consider that he's in service to an Egyption god that doesn't even exist.

Maybe you're on some hidden camera show? Maybe there's people watching at home, laughing at you as you stand awkwardly halfway through the door of an apartment that should be Stevens, but instead appears to belong to some American who may or may not be someone you know, who's asking for instructions on how you like your tea.

You don't take off your shoes, or your coat as you step further in, distracted by the stacks of books, papers, cute little gift shop replicas, scattered around the haphazard apartment. Everything is so very Steven. It's warm and cosy, it's messy and lived in. It's exactly how you had imagined it.

Your eyes catch the fish tank, and the goldfish swimming inside, that looks nothing like the one Steven had excitedly showed you photographs of, while you’d hidden from Donna in the dusty stock rooms.

“I thought Gus only had one fin?”

Marc sighs from the kitchen, which has you frowning as you follow the goldfishes movements.

"Sore topic. Gus died, sort of my fault too."

The sound of mugs on the table draws your attention away from Stevens' beloved fish, or perhaps not his fish.

Watching from your place between the sitting room and the door, Marc sits down on the sofa, looking out of place surrounded by books that seem dwarfed by his presence. You don't move to sit down next to him, instead you choose to lean against a desk piled high with Egyptology books as you regard the man you've only just met, and yet known for months.

"Before I start, if you don't trust my explanation, trust Steven. We wouldn't be explaining this to you if it wasn't for him insisting. He cares about you and he wants you to know the truth,” Marc takes a deep breath, glancing across the apartment. Following his eyes you frown all the more as you take in the leg restraint tied to his bed, but that's not what he's looking at. He’s looking at the reflection of himself in one of the mirrors.

Ok, you should absolutely leave and for once your feet listen, taking half a step back towards the door. Only you don't leave, because even as you consider it, Marc starts talking, and once he starts the pieces slowly slide into place. Steven’s sleeping disorder, the way in the early weeks he looked at you as though you’d never met, his sudden changes in humour, the strange changes in his accent, his disappearances, his lack of appearance at your date. The puzzle pieces lock together and suddenly you’re seeing a whole picture, albeit a fractured blurry one that gives you a headache.

By the time he stops talking your untouched tea has gone cold, your legs have given up standing and instead you sit cross legged on the floor, your coat thrown over the table, your shoes kicked off, the apartment door closed.

"So, you're like what? Part of Steven?"

"It's not quite that simple. Yes and no. We sort of have our own lives but I take care of Steven and he…well he takes care of me in a way too. We are a system," Marc explains gently.

"And why are you telling me not Steven?" You narrow your eyes at him, knowing there are parts to this story that he's been leaving out. Some things still don't fit quite right and it only makes you suspicious.

"Steven is still adjusting to things. He was worried he'd stutter over it and you might not understand." That at least seems genuine. Stevens' way of seeing the world was often different to most people. Different, but not bad.

"And then there's kon-something?" The Egyptian god of the Moon that Marc was in service to. You really knew how to pick them.

"Yes, Khonshu,"

Marc's seriousness alone is terrifying to you. He genuinely believes all of this and his certainty almost drags you down into it with him. It's one thing for someone to be two people, but two people and an ancient Egyptian god, that was just a little too much to believe. Your head spins and throbs with too many thoughts all at once.

After a moment of silence Marc stands up, disappearing around the side of the bookshelves to go into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to drink? It's a lot to take in,"

You shake your head, stumbling to your feet, your chest starting to constrict with panic. This was all far too much. How on earth could you believe any of it? How on earth could you let yourself sit here and entertain the fact that he was telling the truth?

"Do you want to talk to Steven?" Marc asks, leaning on the counter to study you, the same way he had when you first arrived, like you were an interesting puzzle to be worked out.

"No, no I just need some air," you shake your head, shoving your shoes back on and grabbing your jacket. "I'll…just give me a minute."

You step out into the hallway, not waiting for Marc to have much chance to stop you. As the door swings shut behind you, you catch Marc's dejected voice from inside, and your heart shatters.

"Steven, I warned you that she might not like the truth."

🌙

The tea has still appeared on the side each morning, but gone are the cute little hieroglyph doodles on post-its. It's been this way for weeks now. You see Steven occasionally but he barely acknowledges you, scurrying off into the back or distracting himself with anything but you, when you walk past.

You know it's your own fault. You had truly meant to go back and talk to him, but when you stepped outside onto the street, the stark normalcy of everything else had made the whole thing seem like total madness. You didn't know how to handle the situation, how to understand what he was telling you, or even who he was anymore. So you hadn't returned. Your feet had started walking and by the time you stopped, you were already home, and the deep guilt set in.

Once you had calmed down you had stayed up night after night, researching, trying to understand as much as you could, allowing the guilt in your belly to make you feel sicker with every passing day as you learnt more. You allowed the knowledge you gained, the things he had told you, to settle in your mind. You allowed yourself to believe him, even though it scared you half to death.

You should have stayed. You know that now better than anything else. You should have stayed and been the friend you were supposed to be. Instead you'd betrayed the trust he'd put in you and thrown it back in his face out of fear.

You desperately want to fix it. You miss Steven in your life. He was smart, sweet, funny and probably one of the only people you truly felt you could be yourself around. You missed his brightness in your world.

The guilt had kept you up at night for far too long now. You had let this drag out for too long. Even if he hated you forever, even if he could never forgive you, even if he didn't want you to at least still be friends, you were going to apologise. Today. Right now.

Taking a deep breath you walk over to the counter, standing silently on the other side. Stevens hands pause rearranging the bookmarks, his throat bobs as he swallows hard, but he doesn't look up at you.

"Stev-"

"Stevie, how many times do I gotta tell you to take that bloody stock downstairs?"

You're quite sure you've never wanted to punch Donna more than in that moment.

"It's Steven, with a V," he reminds her, tapping his name tag for what you're sure is the 100th time. With a sigh he picks up the box, giving you a passing glance. Your heart aches for him. He looks tired, and part of you wants nothing more than to bundle him up in your arms and let him sleep.

"Did you need something or just making my staff waste time?" Donna turns her eyes on you, while you press down the urge to tape her jaw shut with the novelty pyramid tape on the counter. Anything to stop the incessant chewing that grated on every nerve you have.

"Leave her alone, Donna. She's not doing anything wrong," Steven sighs, heading to the back room door before he turns to look at you. "You need something from the back right?"

"Wh-yeah… yeah sorry Donna I just need to grab some stock. I haven't got my access pass. I was just asking Steven to let me in real quick," you purposely emphasize his name, which only makes her narrow her eyes at you, and you're sure you'll pay for it in some way later down the line. Donna hates you purely for your friendship with Steven.

Donna mutters something about you both being worthless time wasters but allows you to follow Steven off the floor and down the stairs to the stockroom.

🌙

The stockroom has always felt uncomfortably small to you. Each shelf is filled to the brim with trinkets and toys, making the walls seem much closer than they really are. But now it seems worse than ever as you stand in silence, the room only filled by the noise of Steven moving boxes around to fit the latest one on the shelf. You can barely look at him as the silence suffocates you, staring down at your shoes awkwardly.

"Catch."

You look up just in time to get hit in the face by something soft that glints with gold. It bounces off your nose with a sad squeak before it drops to the floor. You look down at it confused for a moment before you look back up at Steven, wearing an expression of absolute horror.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I thought you might have caught it,"

"Why'd you throw Taweret at me?" You bite down the urge to laugh as he flounders, still looking in horror at his own hands, his eyes comically wide.

"Sorry I don't know why I did that! I thought maybe it'd make you feel better? Sorry that was a stupid idea. Are you alright?"

Laughing you pick up the plushy hippo, putting it down safely on the side.

"Well, that's one way to break the ice I suppose,"

"Yeah, guess so. Not great hitting the girl you like in the face with a goddess though is it?" he mumbles with an awkward laugh.

"Present tense? Sort of thought you might never want to see me again?" You admit quietly, rearranging the hippos limbs in order to distract yourself from looking at him. To your surprise Steven rests his hand gently on yours, stopping your nervous actions.

"Not want to see you?" he exclaims with a frown as you finally look at him properly. "Marc suggested we should give you some space for a little bit. Honestly, been a bit scared you'd never want to talk to me again after…well, you know. I didn't want to talk to you in case you thought I was…I'm not broken," he states firmly and you nod.

"No Steven, you're not. I know that. I never thought that," you sigh, immediately missing the warmth of his hand against yours as he lets you go. "I panicked. I didn't know what was going on and honestly I was scared. I turn up at your apartment and suddenly you're someone else entirely, and there's this whole thing, and some ancient Egyptian god and I just," you let out a long breath, trying to stop the torrent of words tumbling out of your mouth.

"I just panicked. And then I felt so bad, terrible actually. I didn't know how to apologise for being so horrible. I'm so sorry Steven. I can't apologise enough."

To your surprise he wraps his arms around you and squeezes you tightly. In all the time you'd known Steven, no matter how much you'd laughed together, eaten lunch together, brushed hands while reaching for the same thing, he'd never tried to hug you. You're surprised by how sturdy he is, the feel of his muscles under his shirt as you hug him back. And your face is notably hotter when he pulls away.

"Sorry I scared you,"

"You didn't," you reassure him, shaking your head. "I scared me. You didn't do anything wrong."

You lapse into quiet silence for a moment, very much aware that he's still standing far too close to you, and that he hadn't seemed to notice that, or he just didn't want to move.

"Can we -" he starts.

"Do you -" you whisper.

You both stop with a laugh as you try to talk at the same time. Steven grins at you, gesturing for you to speak.

"Ladies first right?"

"Do you want to get dinner? It's fine if you changed your mind. I'll totally understand." You wish you still had the plushy hippo as you fidget nervously, unsure what to do with your hands.

"You still want… you still want to go on a date? With me?" Steven sounds as though you've just told him Tutankhamun was just resurrected and is walking around giving facts about ancient Egypt.

"Well, yeah," you shove your hands in your pockets as he stares dumbfoundead at you. "I mean, you're still Steven, right?" You eye him suspiciously for a second for any traces of Marc, but there's no way he could be anyone but Steven with his disheveled curls, far too busy shirt and wide eyed look of surprise.

"Steven with a V, that's me!" He sings before he seems to catch sight of himself in the metal shelving unit and gives a cough, "I mean, I would very much like to have dinner with you. I promise I'll be there this time."

You glance with a frown at the shelving unit, but all you see is the warped reflection of you and Steven staring back. You decide it's probably best not to think too hard about his reaction.

"Ok then, so i guess if I hang about we can go straight after work? Less chance of you going missing then?" You joke and immediately regret it. Hardly something you should be joking about and you almost physically kick yourself at it having left your mouth, let alone entered your thoughts.

"Yes," he answers quickly enough to make you grin, ignoring your terrible joke. But then he groans and lets out a soft curse. "Actually, Donna has me doing inventory tonight."

"Just tell Donna to shove her inventory up her-" you shut up as the door swings open.

"Why are you still 'ere?" She frowns at you before turning to Steven with a glare, "And you, are paid to sell crap to children, and guess what you're not doing?"

"Yeah, sorry Donna we were just -"

"Wasting time. I know!" She snaps back. "Now would you mind doing some actual work today? Go on, off you go, Stevie."

"It's Steven," both of you sigh in unison, which does nothing to help the situation and only seems to anger Donna even more.

"I don't care if his name is the bloody queen of Sheba. If the both of you don't get back to work in the next 30 seconds, I'll fire you both,"

"I don't actually work for you, Donna," you start but at Stevens' raise of an eyebrow, you decide perhaps now isn't the time for a fight. "Right, work." You scoop up a box of pens to help Stevens story that you needed some stock, and follow him back up the stairs, listening to Donna grumble behind you.

Pausing to put the pens down on the gift shop counter, you turn back to Steven.

"You know, I could just bring food here? Give you a hand with inventory? Donna won't be helping right?"

He snorts with laughter at your suggestion of Donna helping with anything.

"Not a very exciting date though is it?"

You don't tell him that any time you spend with him would be exciting, for a whole host of different reasons, worried you wouldn't be able to phrase it in a way that wouldn't make you seem half in love with him already.

"Well, how about after we're done, you take me on a tour of ancient Egypt? I've always wanted a personal tour and you can test my hieroglyph learning?"

Stevens' eyes light up at your suggestion and his answer comes out in breathless excitement, "Yeah? Ok, ok sure!"

Grinning, you adjust your bag on your shoulder before you gesture to the main door.

"I should go before Donna comes back and shoves me inside a sarcophagus. Don't think I'd come out looking very pretty if that happened. I'll see you in a couple of hours out the front?"

It happens so quickly in a blink of an eye you could almost miss the change between them, but even so, you know the moment Steven stops looking at you, and someone else takes over.

"He'd probably think you're pretty whatever happened."

You automatically take a step back as Marc frowns at you. You knew where you stood with Steven, but Marc, you hardly knew at all, and given your last encounter, you had no idea how he was about to react. "Thank you. For giving him a chance."

His genuine gratefulness gives you pause, and allows you to relax a little.

"I guess I owe an apology to you too," you admit and Marc smiles, tilting his head.

"Maybe I'll let you buy me dinner sometime to say sorry." Even as you open your mouth to tell him where to go he's already gone, and Steven is watching you anxiously.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen," he apologies awkwardly.

Stepping forward to him again, you bite your lip before you press a soft kiss to his cheek, feeling him freeze.

"I know, Steven. It's alright," you smile reassuringly, amused at the blush spreading across his cheeks. "I gotta go. Laters gators!"

"In a while crocodile," Steven beams in response.

Whatever happened, whoever Steven was, you promised yourself you could handle it, as long as he still smiled at you like that.

🌙

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Tag list reblog to follow

#steven grant x reader #steven grant x f!reader #steven grant x female reader #moon knight x reader #moon knight x fem reader #moon knight imagine #steven grant imagine #moon knight #moon knight fanfiction #steven grant #marc spector

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just-a-happening · 4 years

Text

Hide & Seek | P.P

Summary: In which a babysitting job goes awry for Peter and he needs your help tracking down a very special Avenger’s daughter.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 2,705

Author’s Note: okay so this one is super long but I really, really love how it turned out. I’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a while and I didn’t think I’d ever get around to writing it because I didn’t think I’d be as into writing Peter stories but this might make me reconsider. I like to think this takes place in the months between Endgame and FFH. enjoy! xx

There was a boy on your fire escape.

You recognized him almost immediately. He worked at the station behind you in Intro to Mechatronics with Ned Leeds, he sat two rows ahead of you in Chemistry and he was on the National Decathlon team with your friend MJ.

He also happened to live two floors above you.

Peter had his back to you, his body bent over the railing as if looking for something he’d dropped. You could hear him—“Shit! Shit! Shit!”— through the slightly ajar window, which you’d left cracked the night before.

You raised a fist to knock on the glass (softly, so you wouldn’t scare him) but before you got the chance, he perked up and whipped around to face you so fast you were the one who ended up startled.

His eyes met yours and his face flooded with disappointment.

You tried not to take it personally.

“Oh! H-Hey,” he said, struggling to keep his tone casual. His hands hovered at his side awkwardly while he decided where to put them. In the end he just crossed them over his chest, still fidgeting. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to, um, scare you. I just thought you might be someone else.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You were expecting someone else?” You made a point to gesture to your things. “Inside my bedroom?”

He winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “In my defence, I didn’t, uh, necessarily know this was your room, um, specifically.”

Over the last few months you and Peter had formed an odd kind of friendship.

Entire apartment complexes were built around the city in the last year to accommodate the blipped. Families started reappearing in their old homes only to find that they were now someone else’s new one. In the chaos you and your family just so happened to have ended up in the same building as Peter Parker and his aunt.

Peter was always around, of course, which made it easy to fall into each other in a very casual, easy way. Many nights when you were too nervous to sleep you’d climb out onto the fire escape only to find Pete doing the same. You never talked about why you were both up, a kind of mutual understanding, so instead, you talked about everything else.

But sometimes you would run into him in class or you would both awkwardly reach for the front door and he would right through you—like you weren’t really there.

Everyone was recovering from the blip, but something told you Peter Parker lost more than just five years.

He was bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet, his eyes scanning the levels below you. Curious, you pushed what was left of the pane up and copied him, your gaze landing on nothing other than Mrs. Sardowski’s rapidly wilting house plants. You frowned, sitting on the window’s ledge.

“So,” you said, pulling his attention back to you. “What are you looking for?”

He let out a humourless chuckle. “It’s less of a what and more like a … who?”

You squinted up at him, the mid-morning sun peaking between the fire escape’s bars. “I hope you weren’t babysitting Parker because, y’know, parents don’t usually appreciate that kind of thing.”

You meant it as a joke but then Peter grimaced and you made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a horrified gasp.

“Oh.”

He groaned, throwing his hands up to cover his face. “I know, okay! We were playing hide and seek and I told her—I told her, I swear—that outside was off limits but she doesn’t listen! She never listens!”

You let out a low whistle.

“I’ve never babysat before!” he justified frantically, his eyes wide and scared. He started pacing the fire escape, the metal rattling with every step. “Pepper had this–this thing and Happy’s in Coney Island with May and I thought ‘how hard could it be!’ and it was actually really, really hard and now she’s gone and—”

You frowned, your brain making the connections painfully slow. “Pepper? As in Potts?”

If he’d heard you he gave no sign of it. He’d finally come to a stop at the far end by your brother’s window, his hands curing around the railing so tight his knuckles were turning white. You climbed all the way out, careful not to trip on the rusting metal bars.

He was rambling. “I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find her anywhere, she’s gone! What if she’s not even here? What if she’s just wandering the streets or worse what if–”

“Pepper Potts,” you repeated slowly. “The Pepper Potts? The one married to–?”

Peter didn’t stop. “God, if I lose Morgan I don’t–I don’t know what I’m going to do. How am I supposed to tell them? Who am I kidding, I can’t tell them! They would never forgive me. Hell, if anything happens to her I’ll never forgive m–”

Morgan. You’d heard that name before. After everyone came back and we found out who’d finally defeated Thanos you remember watching a telecast in one of the shelters that said he was survived by his wife and his daughter—Morgan.

You held up a hand and he shut up, your panicked gaze meeting his. “Wait … are you–are you actually saying you lost Iron Man’s daughter?”

He didn’t say anything, but by the way his shoulders fell in defeat he didn’t have to.

“Oh my God, Peter–”

He winced, his eyes pleading. “Help me. Please, help me.”

Your mouth fell open, trying to find the right words and failing spectacularly. Instead you just sputtered pathetically before finally settling on: “I can’t!”

He let out an exasperated sigh that sounded more like a whine. “Why not?!”

A good question. Part of you knew you wanted to help him, but another part, a much smaller part, begged you to stay out of it—you didn’t want to be one half of the duo that lost Morgan Stark.

But you knew that wasn’t actually it. Things with Peter had taken a turn for the weird, your heart practically beating out of it’s chest anytime you so much as caught sight of him. And your late night talks were getting longer with every passing evening, most of the time well into morning.

You were afraid of how an entire afternoon spent with Peter would make you feel.

You swallowed hard, motioning to vaguely back at your room. “I have homework! So much homework that I really need to finish because I really can’t fail the exam.”

He ignored you, peering into your room as if to corroborate your excuse—which wasn’t an excuse—but you knew it was pointless. You’d left your notes on your desk across the room, most of them half-hidden under textbooks.

“You’re taking Molecular Cell Biology?” he asked and your eyebrows shot up into your hairline. You glanced back to make sure your notes were where you left them and sure enough there they were, barely even legible.

For the second time today you were left speechless. “Yeah, I am but how did–”

He didn’t let you finish. “And you’re failing Molecular Cell Biology.”

“Hey!” you shoved him lightly, momentarily forgetting what you were asking.

He looked back at you, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry–I’m sorry. But you are,” you glared and he held his hands up defensively. “You are! But you don’t have to be. I can help you–tutor you! I can tutor you.”

You considered it. You knew that Mrs. Palomino had maxed out her extra credit assignment threshold for you and you were down to your last chance to pass her class with a respectable grade.

You sighed. “Okay fine Parker,” you conceded and he all but cheered. “I’ll help you. But I swear to God if I don’t get an A …”

He was already climbing the fire escape, taking the stairs two by two. “I’ll get you better than an A! I’ll get you an A plus! An A plus, plus!”

You followed him, scowling at the back of his head. “That doesn’t exist!”

You ended up in his bedroom, cross-legged on his navy plaid comforter listening as he numbered off the things Morgan liked form the floor while also evaluating his choice on wall decor. He had maps and posters and random scribbled notes in red, messy handwriting.

You let your mind wander to a future where being in his room was normal and being in his bed was normal and asking him to join you on it was normal and you didn’t have to guess what was happening behind those kind eyes because he would want to tell you.

He was in the middle of contemplating whether we should chance the subway or get the cops involved when his voice broke suddenly broke through your distracted thoughts. “Are you listening?”

You blinked a few times, trying to bite down the blush creeping into your cheeks. “Morgan likes spare parts, hamburgers and sour gummy worms,” you repeated dutifully, hoping to God he wouldn’t ask you why you were suddenly flustered.

He didn’t.

“Right. She also really likes cats, don’t forget cats. Which is funny because Tony wasn’t really a pet guy,” he mumbled, his gaze suddenly a million miles away. “He did like to take in strays, though.”

You knew that once upon a time Peter was Tony Stark’s intern, but the affection in his voice was so visceral you felt it in your own chest.

“You know what I still can’t figure out?” you asked abruptly.

He glanced at you. “What’s up?”

“How did you end up babysitting Tony Stark’s daughter?” you asked and you watched as his lips turned up in a ghost of a smile. “You were snapped too, so you barely knew Morgan, right?”

“Right,” he said, in a voice right above a whisper. Then he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, I guess it’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

He looked like he was struggling with what to say next. “Well, when Tony uh, you know, I wanted to help with whatever I could even though I wasn’t, uh, his intern anymore. So,I told Pepper to call me whenever and it turns out she needed a lot of help with Morg.”

You wanted to ask him more about it, but it felt too personal. So instead, you focused on Morgan and where a six year old girl could possibly want to go. And suddenly, it came to you. You knew where Morgan was and you didn’t have to take a subway or call the NYPD to find her.

You leaped off the bed, eyes wide. “Get up,” you said, but he just stared up at you quizzically from his spot on the floor. You nudged him with your foot excitedly, “ Get up!”

And he did. Reluctantly.

“Think about it,” you explained impatiently. “What has burgers, sour gummy worms and a cute kitty cat?”

You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he thought about it and hear the ‘click’ in his brain when he finally got it.

He jumped up. “Delmar!”

The next few minutes were a blur. You both scrambled to Peter’s front door and ducked into the elevator before the doors could close and took it four floors down to the lobby, where you were off again out the door and onto the street.

A fire destroyed Delmar’s Deli years ago and after the blip things got even more messy. But he stayed in Queens and ended up relocating to a new deli just a few blocks from your apartment, a deli you’d come to know and love.

You were sprinting a few paces behind Peter but when you finally made it to the familiar store front, you both reached for the handle at the same time, which you immediately realized was silly because you didn’t even know Morgan so you stood back and let him walk in first.

Delmar’s was as comforting as it was cluttered. You skirted past discarded magazine racks and an impressive candy selection on your way to the back, which is where Delmar made his world-famous (according to him) sandwiches and burgers. He was there now, laughing at something someone you couldn’t see said.

“Hey Mister Delmar,” Peter greeted cheerfully, not even out of breath.

You, on the other hand, were practically gasping for breath, supporting yourself with the topping display, your side pressed to the cool glass. You searched the place for the bodega’s unofficial cat, Murph, who always came up and curled himself around your ankles when you came in but he was nowhere in sight.

“Peter!” Delmar replied happily. He glanced over at you and his smile widened, “Chiquita!”

You giggled at the nickname and waved.

“Mister Delamar, have you seen a little girl?” Peter asked and you could tell he was trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Her name’s Morgan and I’m really hoping she’s here.”

Delmar glanced down at his feet. “Morgancita, I think he found you.”

As he said it you watched in total amazement as Morgan Stark crawled out from behind the sandwich station, Murph sitting happily in her arms. Until this moment you’d only seen Morgan on the TV, and the screen didn’t do her justice. She was a carbon copy of her dad, all dark eyes full of mischief. She cooed at Murph one last time before putting him down gently.

She put her hands behind her back and frowned up at Peter, who looked so relieved you worried he might pass out.

“You win Pete,” she said sadly.

Peter crouched down in front of her, looking torn between wanting to hug her and throttle her. In the end he settled on ruffling her hair.

“Morgan, never ever do that again, okay?”

She furrowed her brows adorably. “But Pete, I’m going to have to find better hiding places if I’m going to win.”

Peter’s eyes softened. “Just promise you’ll play by the rules next time.”

Morgan didn’t look happy, “But that’s boring.”

“Promise?” Peter said, holding out his pinky.

Morgan watched the pinky with one of the most calculating looks you’d ever seen. But after a few seconds, she shrugged and wrapped her tiny pinky around Peter’s. “Promise.”

Then they both turned to face you and you were suddenly incredibly nervous but you didn’t have enough time to contemplate what to say because before you knew it Morgan’s dark gaze landed on you.

She tilted her head, “Who are you?”

Peter placed a hand on her back and smiled softly at you, and you felt heat flare up in the pit if your stomach. “She’s a friend of mine. We go to school together and she helped me find you.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” Morgan asked, narrowing her eyes at you.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Not when you break the rules, Cymorg.”

She fixed her attention back to you. “Hi,” she said, holding out her hand like a miniature professional. “I’m Morgan.”

You smiled down at her, taking her fingers in yours. “It is very nice to meet you, Morgan.”

You bent down so you were level with her and beckoned her closed, as if to tell her a secret. She leaned in, Peter watching you both curiously.

“For the record, if it wasn’t for me, you would have won,” you whispered. “He had no idea.”

She smiled up at Peter and said, “I like her.”

He was looking at you in a way that made you dizzy. “Me, too.”

“And she’s really pretty.”

You don’t know who flushed brighter: you or Peter.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker one shot #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland x reader #peter parker x y/n #tom holland #tom holland imagine #peter parker x fem!reader #morgan stark #iron man #tony stark #avengers #avengers fanfiction

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wylanvnneck · 4 years

Text

Rating: G for Giganotosaurus

Summary: Based on a TFOTA headcanon which I posted on Tumblr about Cardan and Jude visiting the Mortal world and Cardan getting introduced to pick-up lines. That he uses. Frequently. Which, of course completely irritates Jude.

Originally posted on AO3 | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Chapter 1

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Jude lets out a slight sigh of exhaustion as she fights to remain poised on her throne, the picture of elegance in front of her reveling subjects. She cannot show any signs of weakness. Her husband beside her steals a glance at her from over his wine glass, noting the weariness on her face that she is attempting to hide.

She can’t help but feel a little relieved when Cardan sets the glass of wine down as he stands and announces, “The Queen and I will be retiring for the day, but do carry on with the merry making.”

She takes a moment to drink in the sight of him imperiously addressing his subjects, the gold on his cheeks glistening under the bright lights. His black eyes shining, highlighted by the Kohl on his lids. The crown sitting regally atop his raven locks which fall over the pointy-tipped ears that mark his ancestry. He is beautiful, untouchable and yet, hers. She takes the arm that he extends as they gracefully exit the hall, headed towards their bed chambers.

“Tired, my mortal goddess?” he murmurs in her ear as they walk.

She is tempted to lie, so as to not appear fragile, but this was Cardan. The only person for whom she would remove her armour.

So she replies, “ A little, I admit,” looking up into his raven eyes that seem to hold a glint of concern.

He knew that the constant celebrations of the Fae took a toll on her, but she refused to shirk her duties as the Queen of Elfhame, attending every revel. The matter often caused fights between them but the make ups were always just as passionate as their yelling was.

“Your Majesties, please excuse me,” they are intercepted by Fand, Jude’s personal knight. “Your sister has sent you a letter, Your Highness.” She hands Jude a letter with her name scrawled on the envelope in Vivi’s sloppy cursive. For a moment she’d hoped it was from Taryn, her twin with whom she maintained a rather tenuous relationship. She was still glad to hear from Vivi who kept up a correspondence with her between the Mortal world and the Fae one, both of them exchanging letters, although oftentimes Jude’s many duties would intercede.

“Thank you Fand, you may go.” She thumbs the letter as Fand respectfully bows and retreats.

“I wonder what your sister has to say this time?” Cardan remarks as they enter their rooms, immediately starting to remove his extravagant attire and change into his equally extravagant silk night robe.

“No idea, I only hope it’s nothing to do with Madoc and Oriana.” Jude’s relationship with her father was a very, very fragile one. After all that had transpired between them, she hadn’t yet reached out to him, with only Vivi’s letters to provide her with any news of his doings in the Mortal Realm since she’d banished him. He’d said that he understood her actions, but understanding did not mean forgiving. Not that she needed forgiving. He was the one in the wrong. But he was also still the man who had raised her to be the warrior she was now.

As if sensing her thoughts, Cardan steps closer to where she is standing by the doorframe, gently nudging her with his now free tail as she rips open the envelope. He rests his head on her shoulder and joins her in her attempt to decipher Vivi’s handwriting.

“She’s inviting us to come and visit them in the mortal realm for a while, now that things are calmer.” It was indeed true that months had passed since Jude had slayed Cardan’s serpentine form, fulfilling the prophecy and the two had brought peace to Elfhame by ridding it of Madoc’s rebels.

“She says that a short break would be beneficial for the both of us and that Oak keeps asking to see me.” She smiles to herself as she thinks of her precocious younger brother.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Cardan says. “You deserve a break, Jude. More importantly, I do, for all the hard work I attend to,” he adds with an exaggerated yawn and a smug look.

She gives that last statement as much attention as it deserved, which is to say, she ignores it.

“But can we afford to take a break? What about the safety of our Kingdom?”

“I’m sure that the Court of Shadows and our bloodthirsty redcap general can handle the Kingdom in our absence and it would only be for a few days. Besides, I am curious to see more of where my wife spent her days during her...exile.” He falters slightly on that last word, shooting her a wary look. He knows that Jude did not at all appreciate his trickery that had led to those miserable days in exile. She has forgiven him, mostly, but there was no harm in keeping the High King on his toes.

She narrows her eyes at him and in response he presses a penitent kiss to her lips.

Before they can get too wrapped up in each other he pulls away, “So it’s settled? We shall spend a few days in the mortal realm with your sister?”

“I suppose so.” Now that Jude is resigned to the idea she feels a spark of excitement at visiting her family.

* * *

A few nights later the couple, accompanied by the Roach, make their way to the sea that separates them from the Mortal lands as the fog swirls around them, each carrying saddlebags. Cardan conjures two bony Ragwort ponies from a few stalks, silent and ready to carry them across the realms. They have donned mortal clothes, Jude in a sensible black pair of shorts and a dark top, under which she has concealed her various weapons and Cardan looking quite irregular in his tight-fitting denim jeans and loose white shirt that Jude had scrounged up for him. Despite her best efforts at pleading with him, she had not succeeded in having his gold cheeks and kohl removed, creating a very striking yet confusing image of the Fae in ill-fitting mortal clothes. He did, at least, promise to glamour the pointed tips of his ears once they’d crossed.

“Worry not, Your Highnesses, your Kingdom is in good hands,” the Roach bids them farewell.

“I do hope so,” Cardan replies, giving him a quick nod, mounting his steed after Jude and tangling his fingers in the horse's leafy mane as they take off into the night.

It’s nearing dawn once they’re outside Vivi and Heather’s apartment, the horses dissolving into stalks that blow away in the dark and quiet surroundings. Cardan takes in the sights around him and Jude remembers that he’d been here once before, coming to Vivi for help after Madoc had kidnapped Jude right from Cardan’s presence, thinking she was Taryn.

“It is strange. The last time I was here I was in such a hurry to find you that I didn’t really notice much of what was around me,” he says, his enhanced eyesight not at all hindered by the darkness.

“What do you think of the mortal world so far?” Jude asks, ringing the doorbell.

“Usually at this time we Fae would be feasting and dancing, but here it’s so still and silent. It seems that no one is awake.”

“Sometimes mortals actually do have night time revels,” she replies, thinking of the nightclubs that Vivi used to sneak off to back when they lived with Madoc. She’d sometimes waltz back into Jude’s room upon returning and describe her night to her half-impressed, half-disapproving sisters, her cheeks flushed from alcohol and dancing. It felt like ages ago.

“Is that so? Perhaps while we are here we should attend one of these revels,” Cardan suggests, head tilting.

“Perhaps,” Jude replies distractedly as she wonders why it was taking so long for someone to answer the door. They had sent a quick note informing her sister of their impending visit so they should be expected.

Finally Vivi swings open the door, her petite body clothed in a baggy set of pajamas, “Jude, you’re here,” she opens the door wider, scanning her sister with her golden cat’s eyes.

“Hello Vivi,” Jude steps inside and gives her a quick hug with Cardan following in her wake, “Sister-in-law,” he teases.

“Pain-in-law,” Vivi responds, not missing a beat. Jude smiles to herself. It was good to see her sassy half-sister again.

Jude follows her sister to the kitchen counter as she fumbles around for some mugs to make coffee in. Cardan settles himself onto a high stool, intrigued by the coffee machine that Vivi was currently operating. The three of them linger in the kitchen for some time, drinking their beverages and exchanging stories, Jude relating stories of Elfhame and court happenings and Vivi catching them up on the recent happenings in the Mortal world and Oak’s schooling and Heather’s job. Jude is relieved to know that Madoc and Oriana hadn’t gotten into any trouble in the mortal world, at least not as yet, and that they were currently living somewhere quite far off, though they did frequently come and visit Oak. They wouldn’t be visiting while Jude was here, she was glad to hear. That confrontation would have to come at some point she supposed, but not just yet.

Finally, Vivi calls it a night, showing them to the room they were to occupy and leaving them to return to her sleeping girlfriend’s side.

Cardan takes in the messy bedroom, with a half-heartedly made up bed, obviously a last minute preparation for their arrival. “So, this is where you slept when you were here?” He lays on the bed and slowly stretches his legs out in a cat-like manner, watching Jude as she deposits their bags on the floor.

“Indeed. Not quite the level of luxury you’re used to, Your Highness,” she smirks, crawling onto the bed beside him. She pushes him aside to make space for herself.

“Nevertheless, there is something to be said about smaller beds,” he responds, putting his arm about her waist and pulling her close, freeing his tail from the jeans to wrap around her calf.

“Hmm…” she mumbles tiredly, resting her head on his chest, feeling her husband’s hands stroking her chestnut hair, lulling her to sleep.

Thank you to @cupcakesandkittens for encouraging me to post this fic on tumblr as well.💕

------------------------------------------------------------------

Please let me know if you'd like me to tag you in further installations of this fic:))

#the folk of the air #tfota #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #fanfiction #fanfic #tfota fanfic #jurdan #crack #lemme know what you think #no flames please #dd writes #first multi-chap fanfic

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the-demelza-robins · 4 years

Text

american high school!jily (pt II)

hi! here’s a short chapter before The Big One (which is set on Halloween night and will hopefully come out on Halloween, if I have the energy). thanks so much for all the positive feedback, it makes me really happy! also you can read it on AO3 if you want

read part one here

James and Lily are in the same math class; this fact is not new. What is new, however, is that today, he drops his bag in Sev’s seat, the one right next to her.

“Hey,” he says, then nods once, as if this is normal. It is not.

“Hi,” she responds, because she doesn’t know what else to do. What she does know is that suddenly she’s aware of him, aware of the solidness of his form beside her. He’s tall, taller than Roger. She never really noticed that before.

He fiddles with his pencil. She blinks once, twice. She’s probably so attuned to his movements because he took Sev’s seat. Yes, that must be it. James sitting next to her means that Severus “I’m a fucking white supremacist” Snape can’t. Math has always been the worst, too — Lily cut Sev out of her life junior year, after he published that article, but he refuses to listen to her when she tells him to stay away, and sits next to her whenever he can. She has no friends in math class, no one to shoot him dirty looks and drown out his murmured apologies and arguments.

But James is here, now. Even if he’s not her friend. Even if he doesn’t know the significance of what he just did.

He’s still here. And that’s something.

***

Lily, please save me, the note reads, written in James’s messy scrawl. It took her a long time, as well as a lot of not-so-subtle hints from James, to realize that he’d written it in the first place. It takes her a little longer to decipher his handwriting, which is fine, because she’s ahead on the problems they’re supposed to be working through, caught in that in-between of being too good for regular math and not good enough for honors. As she looks at the curled-up bottom portion of his notebook, she senses Sev glaring daggers at her from across the room. Perfect.

From what? she writes back, letters neat and compact. James reads it almost immediately and takes a long time to respond.

The evil eye that Snivellus is giving me right now.

Ha, ha.

A smile spills out of the corner of his mouth as he writes back. Are you two involved in some sort of torrid love affair I didn’t know about? Am I making him #jelly?

That hashtag made me throw up in my mouth a little. She pauses, pencil flicking against the desk. She knows he’s watching, knows Sev is watching, and so she picks up the paper again and adds, and no, I am not involved with Sev. Would rather make out with Tony the Squid.

His smile widens, now, and she catches it in her peripheral vision. Not our school mascot. That’s too far, Evans.

It occurs to Lily that she’s acting exactly like elementary school James would. She’s laughing about Sev. Her past self would be disappointed.

But her past self didn’t know what Sev would become. She angles her body more towards James, away from her former best friend’s skin-crawling stare.

***

James sits with her again the next math class, and the one after that, too. She knows things about him, now: knows that he doodles soccer balls in the margins of his notebook; knows that he can’t stop moving, and sometimes when he’s bored of tapping his pencil he’ll tap his foot against her chair leg, unconsciously; knows that he has a little scar on his neck; knows that he can make her laugh with one passed note; knows that he still hates Sev as much as he did in eighth grade.

Lily’s the first to step into the math classroom today; or, at least, she thinks she is, until she spots Sev hovering near her seat, muttering to himself under his breath. Lily steels herself and walks by him, pointedly ignoring him as she slips into her chair.

“Lil —”

“Don’t call me that,” she says immediately, and glances towards the door. She’s forgotten what it feels like to be alone with Sev: like she’s been stripped bare, vulnerable, underneath all the layers of hatred and hurt.

Sev huffs, haughtily, in a way that’s so quintessentially him that it causes Lily physical pain. “You’re blowing it all out of proportion. I was looking at the situation from a purely economic perspective—”

“You were being fucking racist, Sev, and you know it,” she snaps, trying and failing to calm down. So easy, she is. The same conversation, every time: the same circles ran, with no ground lost or gained.

Sev opens his mouth to argue back, but before he can, a new voice cuts in.

“Should’ve known I’d find you here,” says James, speaking in a way she’s forgotten that he’s capable of: sharp, sharp as cut glass.

“This has nothing to do with you, Potter,” Sev says stiffly, gaze settling on James, who in turn looks at Lily, brow furrowed.

“You’re in my seat, Snivellus.”

Sev’s face turned red. “It was my seat first.”

“Then I guess it depends on what Lily wants.”

They both turn towards her, and this is where I get to choose, Lily realizes, with a startling burst of clarity. She knows she doesn’t want Sev, doesn’t want him near her, doesn’t want him begging for forgiveness with crocodile tears; she sucks in a breath, says, “That’s James’s seat.”

James smiles, just for a second, then slides into the seat next to her and starts to take out his math notebook. Sev stands, watching them, hands curled into fists; Lily can’t meet his eyes. Yes, he’s virtually unrecognizable from his childhood self, but rejection — rejection for James? James, who had made his early years a living hell?

She stares at the desk until she hears Sev’s retreating footsteps, knowing that to glance up and see the look of anguish on his face would make her feel even worse.

“Glad we got rid of Snivellus, huh, Evans?” James whispers, and he’s too close, sitting next to her with his pencil already tapping against the desk, a hand wafting through his hair. Lily feels like a child again, except this time she’s chosen the wrong side. She’s one of them now. Sev will never speak to her again.

Isn’t that what she wants? He’s a terrible person; she doesn’t long for his friendship. Still, a part of her — a very small part of her — wants him to want her. Another wave of revulsion consumes her; for a moment, she just stares at James, wondering how she’s gotten here. “I’m not like you, James.”

He blinks. “Yeah?”

She could yell at him. She could ask him why, all those years ago, he felt it necessary to call Sev Snivellus, to joke about his greasy hair and unwashed clothes, to ensure that he’d have no friends save Lily.

But in this moment, Lily’s more angry at herself. So instead, she turns towards the front of the classroom, hoping to find some sort of respite in calculus.

Sev doesn’t approach her again, after that.

***

Texts with Roger Davies, Tuesday, October 27th, 9:33pm

Roger: did you get rodriguez’s approval for the theme?

Lily: yeah, we’re all set!

Roger: okay great

Roger: i’m so glad that we’re finally done with that process

Roger: james was being so annoying about choosing it

Lily: lol i thought he was funny. and it didn't derail us that much

(Lily doesn’t know where that instinct comes from, the one that tells her to defend James’s honor. Maybe she knows, in her heart of hearts, that he’d do the same for her, without question, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Maybe she imagines him in math class, tapping his pencil against his desk, focused but also not, a reassuring presence. Maybe the image in her head is shifting from the boy he once was to the boy that now sits next to her every day: the one who lets her fight her own battles, the one who doesn’t push her, the one who didn’t ask about Sev after their last encounter. She can’t be sure of it yet, but maybe she’s actually starting to enjoy his company — that is, when she forgets about the past eight years of her life.)

(Or, maybe, she thinks, as she lies down on her bed, watching the bubbles on her phone pop up and disappear over and over again, she knows that disagreeing with Roger will extend their conversation.)

Roger: james is always like that tho

Lily: really? he’s been pretty good lately i thought

Roger: always wants things his way

Roger: idk i shouldn’t be talking about this

Lily: lol

Roger: it’s just that ur nice to talk to

(Roger’s never said that to her before. She wonders if it’s because she really is nice to talk to, or if it’s because she’s just there.)

Lily: lol thanks

Roger: and i feel like i can trust you

(He’s never said that to her before, either. They’ve never really spoken about non-yearbook related things. She doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly acting like they’re friends. She can’t say she doesn’t enjoy the familiarity — this is Roger, after all, and any relationship gain with him is a good one — but she feels blindsided. It was October until people burst into her room telling her it’s Christmas, and now she’s just confused.)

Lily: yeah you can trust me

Roger: cool i’m glad

seen by Lily at 9:46pm (there’s nothing more to say).

***

Texts with Roger Davies, Tuesday, October 27th, 9:50pm

Roger: can i ask you a question

Lily: fire away

Roger: are you coming to the halloween thing this weekend

Lily: yeah was planning on it

Lily: why

Roger: cool maybe i’ll see you there

(Oh.)

(It’s Christmas morning in October. It’s Christmas morning in October.)

(Lily doesn't know much about high school relationships, hookups or otherwise, but she does know this: if a boy asks a girl if she's coming to a party, he did it for a reason. And that reason is usually not so that they can discuss the yearbook.)

Lily: yeah see you there

(There's nothing more to do but wait.)

part three

#jilytober #jilytober 2020 #jily #jily fanfiction #mine #my writing #lily evans #james potter #severus snape #jily au #harry potter fanfiction

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hardyshoe · 5 years

Text

benefits- a roger taylor series

part six

warnings- language

taglist: @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming

a/n: I was really excited about writing this chapter so I hope y'all like it x

it was Tuesday morning, the sun beat down through the blinds while a movie you weren't paying attention to played. the weather had changed dramatically since last week and you found yourself curled up under your duvet on the sofa most days for lack of a better past time.

he still hadn't called, they got back three days ago and he was yet to make an appearance. Mary and Freddie had come round on Sunday evening for dinner which after they left reminded you all the more that he didn't care. it hurt more than you could say but at the same time you knew if you saw or even spoke on the phone with him you'd have to tell him, it was just cruel not to at this point. but with every minute that passed while you thought about him you found the resentment for him breaking down a little bit and you couldn't stop it from happening. he'd been out of your life for half a year by his own fault and you were on the verge of forgiving him despite all the pain he caused.

when the movie ended you flicked off the tv and got out your copy of ‘on the road’ that roger gave you back when you first met him, it still had his name in his messy handwriting inside the cover. if you closed your eyes you could still see the same roger you'd once known in the college library wearing those glasses he hated so much (you loved them) and a pair of jeans with a rip right under the arse. you knew you liked him when he first looked up at you with those perfect blue eyes and pushed the black frames to the top of his messy hair. you'd blushed at the way he looked at you but quickly looked away realising how dumb you looked. when you sat down and opened your book he'd commented on it and thats where it all began, like an unrequited love at first sight. of course you didn't realise you felt quite that strongly for him until he decided to sit next to you one lecture and every lecture from then on. lets just say you looked forward to class much more. over the years he'd met Brian and formed smile and through that you'd met Fred and eventually John when smile changed to queen and Tim went his own way. you also remembered his first gig, he'd been practicing all week and was running on very little sleep but he was still amazing, they blew you away. the last thing that came back to you was that night over a year ago now when you'd gone out to the bar with the boys and had far too much to drink, in your inebriated state you hadn't realised it was roger you were dancing with until it was too late to care. that was where it all began and for some reason it didn't stop like you'd expected it to. through him you had a whole life, a best friend (even though he was a dick), a group of wonderful friends who loved you and in just under three months you'd have two babies that would be half him.

you didn't cry this time, instead you smiled down at the book in you hands and ran you thumb over the ink. for the first time since he left you felt genuinely happy, without the over shadow of sadness or doubt.

your nostalgic daydream ended when you heard loud footsteps running up the stairs in your apartment complex, you cursed yourself for having an apartment with such thin walls. you were curious about who was running up your building but didn't go and investigate because getting up just sounded like a bad idea. however when the steps started to make their way down your corridor you did perk up a bit. then the door opened.

he stood there in all his blonde glory and you could have sworn he was more beautiful than the last time you'd seen him. his breathing was laboured and he looked like he'd run a marathon. everything about him looked stunning from the way his cloths hung to his body to the sparkle of those god awful shoes. your hands tightened around the book before quickly realising and looking down only to see your belly hidden by the blankets. he didn't know.

he was the first to speak “please don't throw me out, I needed to see you” he paused again for breath.

“only took you six moths rog” it wasn't a sour comment though, just a statement.

then it all came pouring out of him “ y/n I'm so sorry, you wouldn't believe how sorry. I've spent the last six months on the verge of a complete breakdown because I thought id lost you forever. I couldn't live with myself if you hated me, id go mad.”

by this point he was crying, and so were you. “fuck it, y/n I love you. I've loved you since I first lay my eyes on you six years ago and ill never stop loving you if you'll have me” he kept going, spouting seemingly endless ways to tell you he loved you, but you couldn't sit there and let it all play out liked you'd dreamed it would so many times, it was time he knew.

so you stood up feeling the blanket puddle around your toes on the floor, exposing your belly that was clad in a tie die top he'd lent you once. but he didn't notice right away, he just kept talking.

“ you deserve to know and...” his eyes dropped to your stomach and finally he stopped talking. wordlessly you placed a hand on top of the stretched shirt and looked at him through teary eyes. he didn't start shouting, in fact his voice hardly exceeded a whisper when he finally spoke.

“is- is it mine” and finally you were willing to answer the question.

“they are roger” your tone was like his, hushed like you didn't want anyone but the other to hear.

“they?” you nodded

“a boy and a girl”

“im gonna be a dad?” you smiled though the tears, he was.

he hovered a hand near the swell of your belly and you took it placing it on the kicks and covered it with your own hands. he sobbed with you and for ages the two of you stood together in your dusty living room, like a family.

“just so you know this doesn't change anything, I still love you” he looked at you with the gentlest smile you'd ever seen and all your dreams were suddenly not so far fetched.

“I love you too Rog, so much it scares me”

with both his hands he took the sides of your face and softly kissed you. it wasn't rushed or careless, it was kind. it was also everything you wanted since you were 19, everything you'd longed for on the nights too lonely to close your eyes, the only thing that kept you going when everything abandoned you. somebody to love, who loved you back.

he made tea and came to join you on the sofa and you filled him in on everything he could possibly want to know.

“when are you due?”

“december 17th”

“so your how far along?”

“7 months last Friday”

he hurled questions at you that you were more than happy to answer. it was so liberating to tell him, tell him everything. you had an answer to every question of his no matter how daft except...

“have you thought of any names?” truth was you hadn't. you wanted to know if roger wanted anything to do with you before you came up with anything, it hadn't felt fair to plan something so big when he didn't even know.

“no I haven't, I didn't want to without you”

“thank you, that means so much. can we think of some?”

you hummed a quick yes and he fell into a deep thought. you'd always liked French names, probably stemming from living in France for a few years as a teen. you spoke a bit of French and it was such a poetic language that a name coming from there just made sense. roger on the other hand liked names with meanings, he really cared for something that would set them up for success.

“okay suzette?” you'd pose the names you like in a slight French accent that roger couldn't get enough of.

“nope she’ll get nicknamed sue.” you agreed and kept looking.

“james?”

“no too common I know like five people called James.”

“Oliver” when roger said it, it sounded right. that was it. little ollie.

“I love it roger, its perfect,” you felt a kick from one of the babies and laughed, “I think he likes it too”

“your right, it is perfect. but what about baby girl?”

“Juliette” he just nodded with conviction.

“so we did it? wasn't too hard.”

“roger that took us over an hour, we went through hundreds of names” you chuckled at him as he stared up at the clock.

“it takes some people months to get a good name, let alone two, we did good”

“we did, just need middle names now.” he groaned at the thought.

“mmm too tired we can do that some other time” he puller you over to him and wrapped those big arms of his around you. it was so blissfully wonderful to sit in his company again, without the fear of him leaving and never coming back. just as your eyes started to shut you heard him whisper to himself under his breath,

“I can't believe I've got you. can't believe I'm gonna have a family. can't believe how much I love you.”

#roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor smut #roger taylor series #roger taylor #brian may #john deacon #ben hardy #Fred Mercury #queen band #queen

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cptsdstudyblr · 5 years

Text

How I organize my studies with mental health issues

Hi :) I’m just here trying to survive a computer science degree with CPTSD, depression, anxiety, and some physical health issues. However, I’ve figured out a system that really (!!!) helps me keep organized and actually learn things despite all the challenges I face! So, I want to share it with you in case it helps just one person! This post is pretty long, but I promise it’s got tons and tons of amazingly helpful information in it!

I’m lucky enough to have a tablet to help me with my studies, but anything I show today can easily be done on a laptop or even on a phone, so don’t stress!

Initial Note Taking

I prefer to handwrite my initial notes if possible. Sometimes, my professors just go too fast and I have to type them, but if I have the option, I choose to handwrite them. I find that handwriting my notes helps keep my mind focused on the task at hand.

First of all, I’m a very tactile learner, so the act of writing helps me learn the material. However, I’ve found that there are tons of other benefits to writing notes by hand.

If you’re dissociating/anxious/etc., doodling is a good way to center yourself and help yourself calm down.

Handwritten notes are easier (at least in my non-professional opinion) to make neat and pretty, which can be a huge motivator.

Many classes have diagrams, and it’s super helpful to draw these out so that you’re more likely to remember them and so you have easy access to them.

For people who are nonlinear thinkers (NOT me at all, but I know some people are nonlinear thinkers), you can write your notes in any way you see fit - a circle, a mind map, a graph, even a dodecahedron if you so desire.

And there are tons of others I don’t have time to thoroughly explain!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with typing notes if you feel that that works better for you. I have to do that for some classes (Geology, I’m looking at you), and I don’t prefer to type my notes, but some people find that they prefer it, and that’s totally okay! There are a few quick things to keep in mind if you choose to take typed notes, however:

I find it very helpful to keep a notepad near me so that I can doodle (again for dissociation/anxiety/etc.) and so that I can draw diagrams if necessary. I’m not talented enough to create computer diagrams quickly, so I usually draw them by hand even if I’m typing my actual notes.

Put in the effort to make sure you aren’t distracted by other things on your laptop! Typing notes can be a great thing, but technology is very quick to distract people. One method I find good for me is to make my notes full screen so that it’s harder to find things to get distracted by, but there are many methods for this.

Try to keep your typed notes tidy and organized. For me, this includes having consistent tab distances, changing font colors/styles (by styles I mean bold/italic/etc.) as necessary, and most of all splitting up my notes into documents by days or topics. I use Evernote, so it’s pretty straightforward to split them up, but even if you use another system, it’s wise to figure out a way to do so. Having one long document for the entire semester is not wise because it gets very overwhelming very quickly and is just plain hard to use.

The biggest help for me, however, is after I’ve taken my notes. I use Evernote to digitize my notes. It’s super easy to do (just take a picture in the app and it scans them like a PDF), and I find that having them digital is a huge help. It means a few things for me:

I don’t have to have every notebook with me to study - just the ones I need to take notes in. This is far more related to physical health for me because I just can’t carry that many notebooks without a lot of pain, but it’s also great for people who are forgetful due to mental health issues. All you have to remember is your laptop or tablet (or really, even your phone), so it’s much easier to make sure you have everything.

I can write all over them when I’m studying without ruining the original notes. I am a big fan of scribbling all over notes (writing mnemonics, drawing diagrams, marking what I know and don’t know, etc.), but I dislike damaging my original notes. This allows me to study as messily as I want without ruining anything.

I can make multiple copies of them if I need to - one for the class I took the notes in and one for my exam revision session. This is very helpful for people who aren’t feeling well enough to rewrite or retype everything into another place when revising for an exam.

Here’s what some of my digitized notes from my operating systems class look like (please forgive my very messy drawing - OS is hard to draw sometimes):

General Studying

This section refers to studying, but not for exams. This includes things such as doing assignments, reading for classes, and other such things. The most important thing for my studying is Google Tasks! I keep all my important due dates in there, even down to the time. Here’s an example of what my Google Tasks looks like:

Apologies for the blacked-out spot - that reveals where I go to school! I use this for every single thing that has a hard due date. This makes sure that I never miss a due date no matter how forgetful I am because my list of due dates is on my cell phone! I also find it extremely rewarding to tick the box when I finish an assignment, and even something as simple as that is such a huge motivator for me.

However, this isn’t where I plan how to study for the week. I do that - you guessed it - on paper. I have a journal (which you’ll get to see in another post) where I keep a lot of important stuff - including weekly study plan spreads! That sounds super overwhelming, but they’re incredibly easy to make and very simple to maintain. I’ll show you (artful pen to hide my school name)!

Let me break this down for you really quickly:

I have my pages divided into four (one quadrant per day plus one for notes), which works pretty well for me - I never run out of space. This setup takes me less than five minutes to make each week, and I find it works very well for me.

I like to write what classes I have each day at the top of the day just so I don’t get too confused (and I highlight it if I have an exam), then underneath that, I list everything I have to do study-wise.

I make sure to break each big task (e.g. “Study for Geology Exam) into smaller, more manageable chunks (e.g. “Make Geology flashcards,” “Revise Ch. 6 Notes,” etc.) all on different days of the week. This helps make each task seem way less overwhelming and makes me feel better about starting each task.

As you can see, my due dates are NOT on this sheet - this is more of a Study To-Do List than a list of my due dates. I do make sure to keep this updated so that I don’t miss any due dates, however.

You’ll also notice that I don’t have all that much listed for each day. It’s incredibly hard to stay ahead of things with mental health issues (I get that - I really do), but I find that staying ahead genuinely helps my mental health. If I have something to do every day, I feel productive and thus more motivated. It also gives me more leeway if I have a day where I can’t do any more than the bare minimum - I’m already ahead of schedule so I don’t need to panic. My best method for staying ahead is just to buckle down and do it. It’s not a great tip, but it’s all I’ve got (I’m allowed to struggle too - I don’t have everything together perfectly!).

Now, let’s talk about how to tackle each thing on this list.

Readings! When I have to do readings, my preferred method of note-taking is simply writing down definitions of keywords. Most of what I cover in the reading will be covered in the lecture, so I’m not too worried about jotting down every detail. However, making sure to note key words helps keep my brain engaged so I am less likely to zone out/dissociate/etc. Additionally, I can go back to those keywords to make flashcards later on.

Assignments! There’s not a whole lot to say about this one - every assignment is so different that I can’t say much beyond “do your assignments thoroughly.” However, a tip I find helps me a lot is to fully read the assignment and create a game plan before I dive in. This makes the assignment way less overwhelming and gives you concrete stopping points if you need a break.

Studying! will have its own section right below this, do not fear.

Studying

Watch this quick video (which is at the bottom of the text for some unknown reason?) of me scrolling through a study session, then I’ll explain how I study and why it works for me!

Let me just list my Studying Steps (TM) for you and break them down:

About a week before: Write all the information in a clear, consistent way.

By this I mean: Go through your notes/the slides/the textbook/anything with information and write it down freshly. I prefer (like usual) to handwrite this, but it can certainly be typed.

This is good because it requires you to reread and rewrite every piece of information, so you’re that much more likely to remember it. It also gives you all the information consolidated in one place. I like to split this up by topic (for me, each topic takes about 30 minutes to do) so that it’s more manageable.

This seems like a lot, and it is. But, you have to study and there’s no way around that, unfortunately. Try motivating yourself with small rewards (like food, stickers, or something fun) when you finish a topic.

When you finish that: Make charts and graphs for anything that requires charts and graphs.

The diagrams part is pretty self-explanatory. If you have diagrams, redraw them on their own sheet. This makes them less cluttered and you can write things like mnemonics on them without messing up anything else. Redrawing them is also great for muscle memory!

I also like to make charts of things that I need to memorize (this is a good tool, but isn’t always right for every subject). For example, if I need to know a lot of types of rocks, I’ll make charts listing each rock and its characteristics. This way it’s easier to find the information and (once again) muscle memory will help you out.

This can be done pretty quickly, and it’s a pretty brainless activity. It’s not hard to do, so you can do it while watching Netflix if you want to. I honestly enjoy this part, though, because I find drawing charts and graphs very satisfying.

About 3 days before: Make flashcards and study them consistently.

This is very important!

I like to use paper flashcards (just so I have to write the information once again), but digital ones work fairly well too.

Memorization is actually a fantastic tool to help with studying with mental health issues. Sometimes brain fogginess makes it hard to think of things that you know, but couldn’t recite. However, if you have it fully memorized, it’s generally much easier to pull out of the depths of your mind.

Once again, this is pretty easy to do (not quick though, sorry), and can be done while you’re doing something else more fun.

The day before: Go through your notes, annotate what you don’t know, and rewrite it until you know it.

This is the most important part of studying for me.

The evening before the exam, I go through every bit of my notes, charts, graphs, etc. and highlight what I 100% know.

Then, I take more paper (or often a digital piece of paper) and write out what I know, trying to focus my energy on finding ways to remember the information such as mnemonics, word associations, or the like.

I do this as many times as I need to until I feel good about how much information I have highlighted - I try to get to 85-90%, but that can vary by subject.

This is kind of tedious, but I find it easier to motivate myself since it is the final stretch. I’m also usually kind of stressed out about the exam by this point, so that works as a good motivator too.

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#studyblr #cptsd #depression #anxiety #mental health #mental illness #studying

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thedyingmoon · 5 years

Text

💜 This I Promise 💜

***

XXXVI. Ability

***

(F/N) woke up the next day, her feet feeling a bit sore from all the dancing she and Jonas did the other day. Delilah Smith will not come today, so she had time to rest.

However, upon arriving at the living room after dressing up for the day, she found Marie scratching her head while looking at some documents on her hands.

“Good morning, aunt Marie.” She said. “What are those?”

Marie turned to her, looking distressed. “Good morning, child. It’s Nile’s documents. He must’ve left it here on a hurry to be early at the Headquarters. And he’s supposed to attend an important meeting with Darius Zackly today.”

“I’ll bring it to him.” (F/N) offered graciously.

“Are you sure, my dear? It’s quite the distance away from here.”

“I’m sure, aunt Marie. Besides, I haven’t been outside for a long time. I want to see what the Military Police Headquarters looked like.”

“Alright, but, please, be careful on your way there.”

“I will, aunt.” (F/N) smiled as she received the papers from Marie. She took a quick glance at it, and somehow, for apparently no reason at all, the words in it piqued her interest. She also noticed some errors in it as she quickly browsed them on her way to her room to get prepared. She never really had any idea why, but it felt like some digits and some words and sentences were misplaced. Not to mention her uncle’s horrible handwriting.

She could not explain it, but there was something triggering her to revise the whole thing. It was as if she was hardwired to do it.

You must be very precise in writing down even the smallest of details. Did I make myself clear?

Suddenly, those words invaded (F/N)’s almost blank memory. It was as if she was doing these kinds of things for a very long time.

She stared once more at the messy scrawls on the documents and decided whether to revise them or not. She wasn’t very sure, herself. Plus, she might make a mistake.

But, her uncle would meet with an important person. What’s his name again? Oh right, it was Darius Zackly, wasn’t it?

She couldn’t let her uncle be embarrassed in front of the Capital’s most important people, could she?

She ran back to the living room and found that Marie was still there, now supervising little Ivanna’s playtime.

“What time is uncle Nile’s meeting, aunt Marie?” she asked Marie.

“I think it’s three hours from now. Wait, (F/N), you’ll have to – “

But, she didn’t even let her aunt finish as she raced towards her uncle’s office. She opened it and ran directly towards the desk where all the important papers are. She sat on the chair located behind the mahogany desk, took a quill and a bottle of ink, fresh papers, and started from scratch the supposed report of Military Police Commander Nile Dawk regarding next month’s supplies and how they could cut costs to provide for the latest equipment.

Approximately two hours later, (F/N) rushed out of the office and ran towards the door, startling Marie.

“(F/N)?! You’re still here? The meeting is in an hour!”

“I’m sorry, aunt! I have to revise something.”

Or else, it’s bye bye Military Police for uncle!

(F/N) opened the door and ran towards the stables, where she found her cousin Jonas feeding his newly acquired bay.

“Hey! What’s all the rush?” Jonas asked her as he stroked the mane of his horse.

“Do you know where the MP Headquarters are?”

“Yeah.”

“Could you get me there in an hour?”

Jonas clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“In an hour? Are you insulting me? I’ll do it in thirty.”

Meanwhile, Nile was shuffling the now messy drawers of his own office in the Military Police Headquarters, searching for the documents he’ll never find there.

A short – haired girl in MP uniform whined at him.

“Commander, can’t we just make another copy of it?”

A tall young man with dark hair went closer to Nile, seemingly dedicating himself for the task.

“I will help you reproduce the documents, Commander.” He said to Nile.

“Can’t you both understand, Hitch? Marlowe? We don’t have much time! And the meeting is in thirty goddamn minutes! It couldn’t be accomplished in four hours, you hear?!”

“Are you sure you left it here, sir?” Hitch asked him.

“Maybe you left it at home, sir?” Marlowe theorized, which made Nile stop ransacking.

His blood ran cold and his sweat trickled down his face.

“Yes, I remember now. I left it at the living room! Shit! I’ll have to go back to the house,…”

Then, as if on cue, a uniformed Soldier invaded the still tensed atmosphere of the room.

“Commander Dawk, the Supreme Commander and the officers await your presence.” He announced, making matters worse for poor Nile.

“Ah, shit! Shit! Shit! This is what I get for drinking with Erwin.” Nile cursed and cursed, making Hitch and Marlowe look at each other helplessly, unable to help their Commander.

All of a sudden, he heard familiar voices not far from his office.

“Is this the office of the Commander?” a female voice said.

“I’m telling you, you’re not allowed here!” a Soldier bellowed at them.

“You will let us pass, or else I’ll shove these motherfucking documents down your motherfucking mouth!” a male voice on the late stages of puberty threatened.

That tiny but threatening female voice? That foul and vulgar mouth that is fouler and more vulgar than the pits of the Underground, itself?

“(F/N)! Jonas!” Nile screamed as he went out of the office to meet them.

And surely enough, he found the both of them being shoved out by a burly Soldier out of the premises.

Jonas, upon seeing his father, bravely face – palmed the large Soldier and went towards him, giving (F/N) enough time to escape the larger man.

“What are you doing here? You’re not allowed here!” Nile said to them desperately.

“Dad, (F/N) wants to give you something.” Jonas said, ignoring the Soldier behind him.

“What?”

“You left these, uncle.” (F/N) said, handing the documents to Nile.

Nile received the papers from (F/N) like receiving blessings from the gods. They were, indeed, the documents of supplies and cost cutting!

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much, (F/N), Jonas!” Nile said, on the verge of tears.

“Twenty minutes, Commander.” The Soldier from before reminded him.

“Alright! Alright! I’ll be right over.” He turned to the two and said, “Wait for me, okay. And Jonas?”

“Yep?”

“We’ll have a talk at home later regarding that mouth of yours.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just go to your meeting or whatever.” Jonas replied, shooing his own father.

“Hitch, Marlowe, show them to my office and get something to eat and drink.” Nile ordered the pair of Soldiers who were slightly forgotten at the side. Hitch and Marlowe stood straight and saluted in the form of bringing their fist to their chest.

“Yes, sir!” they said in unison.

All of a sudden, a memory flashed across (F/N)’s mind, of her doing the same thing. She was still thinking of it a few minutes later after Hitch and Marlowe showed them the Commander’s office and went away to get them food.

It is very strange to think that she somehow remembered it, even the documents.

It’s as if she was a part of all of this.

Slowly, (F/N) brought her fist to her chest. Jonas noticed this and raised an eyebrow.

“Dedicating your heart, eh?” he said to her, lounging comfortably at the sofa beside (F/N).

“Dedicating my heart?” (F/N) carefully asked him, her right fist still on her chest.

“Yeah.” Jonas said, then stared blankly at the room, his mind elsewhere. “You know, it must have been so much better to do it in the Scouting Legion.”

(F/N) suddenly felt chills running up and down her spine.

That name,...

“Scouting Leg – “

“Here you go, brats.” Hitch said, suddenly and abruptly opening the door and entering the office.

“Stop that, Hitch, you’ll scare them.” Marlowe said, bringing a tray with food inside the office.

“Whatever.” Hitch answered him and finally noticed (F/N), who was still doing the salute. She puffed her cheeks and started laughing really hard, making (F/N) drop her fist in embarrassment. “You look like an idiot doing that!”

“Hitch, stop it!” Marlowe scolded her. He turned towards (F/N) and Jonas and handed them the tray. “Forgive her, she’s just losing some of her screws up there.”

“Hey!” Hitch stopped laughing upon realizing that she was just considered as crazy by Marlowe. He ignored her and introduced himself to (F/N) and Jonas.

“I’m Marlowe Freudenberg, and that is Hitch Dreyse.”

“I’m (F/N) Carlstead, and this is my cousin, Jonas Dawk.”

“It’s nice to meet you, (F/N), Jonas.”

“Yeah.” Jonas simply answered.

“Are you really the Commander’s son?” Hitch asked Jonas, ignoring Marlowe.

“Uh, yeah. What about it?”

Hitch’s light – colored eyes widened in amusement.

“Wow, you really look just like your father! And you?” she turned to (F/N).

“Ah, well, I’m his niece.”

To this, Hitch just huffed.

“Oh. Alright. But, no offense here, you don’t look like any of them. Jonas and the Commander, I mean.”

(F/N) just smiled at her. “Oh, yeah. I get that a lot.”

“Maybe she looks like her aunt?” Marlowe asked.

“No. she doesn’t look like any of us.” Jonas answered, making all of them, especially (F/N), look surprisingly at him. He instantly realized his mistake and cursed inwardly. “W-well, she looks like grandmother. No doubt about it, yes.” He lied lamely.

“Okay.” Hitch sarcastically said

“Come on, she also looks like auntie Carlstead, okay?!” Jonas irritably said, making his mood bad.

“Enough of resemblances. By the way, I’d like to thank you for delivering the documents to the Commander.”

“Sure thing.” (F/N) answered him, still thinking of what Jonas said.

Marlowe nodded and looked at the food. “Come now, your food will get cold.”

The four of them chatted for about an hour until the Commander came back to the office looking dumbfounded.

Hitch and Marlowe dropped their conversation with (F/N) and Jonas and stood at attention at the Commander’s presence.

Nile, on the other hand, entirely forgot about the presence of the two and just turned towards his son and niece.

“Those papers, which of you, two, revised it?” he asked the two carefully, making (F/N) gulp audibly.

“I just did the delivery here.” Jonas answered truthfully. “Give the credits of the revision to (F/N).”

(F/N)’s hairs on her nape all stood and her heart pounded faster than normal as the intimidating Commander of the Military Police glared down at her.

“Is it true, (F/N)?” Nile asked her.

“Y- yes, uncle.” (F/N) answered. Yes, there definitely is no way out now.

“Why, what happened, dad? Did Zackly whoop your ass - ?”

“Jonas, language.” Nile cut Jonas off. He went closer to (F/N) and kneeled in front of her. “That thing you did with the reports? (F/N), the Supreme Commander was beyond pleased with your work!”

Huh?

“W-wait, you’re not angry?” (F/N) said to the man, a bit embarrassed of the situation she’s in.

“How could I be angry? The proposal for the project was immediately approved by the higher – ups.” He turned towards Hitch and Marlowe, who were both looking dumbfounded at what just happened. “You two should thank (F/N) that you’ll finally get your mitts on some new supplies without spending too much from the country’s taxes!”

“WHAT?!” Hitch, Marlowe, and Jonas all yelled in unison, unable to believe what a newbie like (F/N) just did for them.

“But, with certain limitations, yes. Your luxuries would be cut in half, overtime lessened, and many more, but that’s just small things. What’s important is that we’ll finally become even more useful in the eyes of the community. And it’s all thanks to you, (F/N)!”

“Hey, how did you do it?” Jonas asked her.

“What?”

“That! You know, these people aren’t exactly used to cost – cutting. Are you, like, a cheapskate or whatever?”

“That doesn’t matter, Jonas. My original proposal didn’t even compare with hers.” Nile lied, fully aware that most of his original proposals came directly from his drunk state the other night. They’re trash, anyway.

“Oh no, I just did what I think is right. You don’t need to thank me.” (F/N) said, unsure of her surprise abilities, herself.

“I do need to thank you, and for that, are you willing to be my assistant from now on, (F/N)?”

Hitch and Marlowe both gasped in shock. Jonas just poured coffee into his empty mug.

(F/N) just nodded, unable to trust her voice, for another memory flashed across her mind, of someone asking her to be someone’s assistant.

Ah, who was it again?

***

(F/N) clutched nervously at her father’s scythe.

Some thieves have trespassed their property. And while their parents are away on their anniversary celebration getaway!

“I know you’re in here, brat” one thief said. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

(F/N) closed her eyes and prayed.

It must work! It must work! It must definitely work!

“Heh, what is this junk?” another one said, getting his clutches on mom’s favorite flower vase, then throwing it across the room, smashing it to pieces. “Useless!”

“Hey, we just need some cash, then we’ll go straight away! Right, Harry?”

“Yeah, sure thing Oswald.” His companion just went along with the deception, actually planning something else in his mind.

“So, come out now! We’ll not hurt you!”

NOW!

(F/N) shrieked as she came out from her hiding place and threw herself to the thieves, who were completely taken by surprise, not even considering that they’ll be attacked by a teenage girl.

But, what they didn’t expect was (F/N)’s plan unfolding before them.

“DO IT NOW, PETRA!” she screamed out loud. The thieves were shocked when a teenager about the same age as (F/N) came out of her own hiding place and quickly went out of the house.

“Go after her, Oswald!” Harry the thief ordered his partner.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” (F/N) bravely swished her father’s farming scythe, wounding Harry on the face and Oswald on the thigh.

The two thieves howled in pain, buying (F/N) enough time to slash at their legs so they could not move,…

An hour later, Petra came back from the District with two Military Police Officers with her, and what she found there didn’t please her, at all.

Her parents were back early and they were surprised at the state of their home. (F/N) was miraculously unhurt and the bad guys rendered useless with their legs bleeding horribly.

All in all, it turned out just fine. No one was hurt, and the thieves were both caught.

But, what Petra didn’t like was the fact that they were praising and hugging (F/N) because of her bravery.

Especially mom.

They were praising her.

And only her.

***

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , @nerdyphantomlady , and @emilyackerman78 . 💜

***

💜💜💜

***

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #levi ackerman #captain levi #this i promise #levi x reader #levi x you #chapter 36 #ability

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marilyn-lucille-23 · 6 years

Text

Lily White

Without fault or corruption; totally innocent or immaculate. (Definition of Lily White)

The angel called Castiel had never felt anything but a call to do a duty for a father he’d never even laid eyes on. He was a willing and kind soldier. He followed everything he was told by the book and thought little of anything else.

That changed, however, when he was sent on a mission to save a mortal. This green eyed man would change Castiel’s life for all of his eternity. He didn’t know exactly what “feelings” were, until he met the broken human who felt he didn’t deserve to live—the man with no faith—the sad and angry individual who Castiel had held tight against his chest and pulled from hell itself.

Dean Winchester was a walking, talking wreck.

Soon enough, Dean became the angel’s best friend. More of a friend than his angelic “brothers and sisters” had ever been. Dean and his younger brother Sam were the only real family Castiel had ever known. They were the only ones who had given him forgiveness and second chances when he had nothing to offer in return.

It is true that an angel can be distracted and lust for others, no matter in what disfavor it is.

From his first official meeting of Dean, Castiel had felt those passé desires to comfort him, in more than a friendly way. He had wanted to please Dean. He had wanted to catch his eye every time he’d walk by, waiting for a sideways glance and smile from Dean.

Every time this happened, Castiel felt a slight tug from somewhere inside him. He could never quite explain the feeling Dean’s sideways glances gave him, let alone the winking game Dean played with him. These were playful flirtations that only humans knew how to respond to and practice. Castiel tried to shove those feelings aside as an angel. He knew the temptation was heavy on his end, but he managed to keep what he felt for the man in check.

However, Castiel had lost his grace two weeks and three days ago, and had realized quickly that the emotions of lust, love, and yearning for another were impossible to ignore or even define. Maybe as an angel with grace, he could’ve always resisted, but now, as he sat across the table from the freckle faced young man who was studying out of three large books of lore, Castiel couldn’t imagine a more beautiful sight. He couldn’t imagine life without Dean. He couldn’t imagine not being able to look upon his friend, to study his face, to simply bask in his presence.

Upon Castiel’s fall, the brothers had offered him a room of his own in the bunker. Castiel, having nowhere else to go, acceptable graciously. He was weak and unable to care for himself in the mortal sense. Both brothers worked to nurture him back to health, and teach him most things human.

Dean, especially, had shown an innate sense of protection toward Castiel. It went as far as to be on the line of possessive. He never left Castiel’s side.

Castiel didn’t mind this. He felt safe, loved, and warm around Dean.

The first night after his fall, Castiel was weak and exhausted, but couldn’t sleep no matter how hard he tried. Sam called this insomnia. Later the next night when the three men had said their goodnight and went to their separate bedrooms, Castiel heard a faint knock on his door a few moments later. He got out of the bed where he’d been staring at the wall, frustrated because he didn’t even understand how to make himself sleep. Dean stood at the door with a book in his hands.

“Sammy used to have terribly insomnia, and I’d read him this. It’d knock his ass out.” Dean said, holding out the book out so that Castiel could see it.

The cover read “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.” Castiel had never heard of that before, but he wanted Dean to be with him nonetheless. Dean dragged an uncomfortable wooden chair from the corner of the room and sat it next to Castiel’s bed. He propped his feet up at the end of the bed and began to read.

Castiel laid on his side to face Dean in the dim light. He watched the hunter’s perfect lips move as he read aloud the story that Castiel couldn’t even concentrate on.

Dean’s gruff, low voice was the most relaxing, comforting thing he’d felt in what could have been his eternity. Sooner than he wanted to be, he was asleep.

As soon as Castiel woke up, he had a splitting pain in his head. Sam called this a migraine.

Upon Dean finding that out, every morning he’d come to Castiel’s room with a hot cup of sweetened coffee and three Tylenol.

Every night, until Castiel could sleep on his own, and every morning that Castiel woke with a migraine, that was the routine of the two men.

One late night in particular, was special to Castiel. As he was almost asleep with his eyes closed, Dean stopped reading. Castiel laid still as Dean moved to bring the covers closer to his neck.

Dean then kissed Castiel on the forehead and said “goodnight, angel” in a whisper.

Castiel remained silent and faked sleep because he didn’t know how to respond to that. His body flooded with heat as he waited for the sound of the door to close. He then took a deep breath and felt the heat cover his whole body. He felt like mush inside, knowing that the hunter didn’t tend to be the tender kind.

He laid there awake and uncomfortably squirming for hours wondering how such small contact between Dean and himself had been able to send him into a practical coma of vulnerability. The fallen angel was yearning for Dean, deep down in is worn soul.

Castiel had pined after Dean incessantly since his fall from grace. He’d always thought the stars, moon, and sun worked around the young man, but now it was hard to control, perhaps even impossible to control. Castiel felt himself fall deeper and deeper into these feelings with no outlet whatsoever.

Castiel was more than consumed. There was a monster in him wanting to break free, wanting to feel this man in every sense of the word. Castiel seemed to have an inborn want to make his friend happy.

He felt as though he defiled Dean with every thought he had of him. Castiel didn’t know if it was “normal” to have such as strong attraction to another. He adjusted the hardness in his pajamas as he pondered Dean—this was an entirely new urge that happened whenever he thought of the hunter or watched him for too long. As an angel, Castiel had never fully felt the human body react outside of his control.

Castiel was embarrassed by this more than anything else. He was terrified that someone would see what he tried to conceal each time he was around Dean.

But, by far, it wasn’t just lust. It was the fact that Dean could sometimes finish Castiel’s sentences for him, and vice versa. It was how Dean’s hand brushed against his when they would both reach for the same thing. It was the feeling of privilege and pure giddiness that he got every time he caught Dean looking his direction. It was the fact Castiel had been inside Dean’s thoughts and saw briefly what battles he fought deep down.

As much as Castiel was broken, he still wanted to fix Dean. He wanted Dean to feel real love, the love that the Castiel couldn’t help but believe was the strongest love anyone could ever imagine. His insides practically burst with longing for Dean—all of Dean—the good, bad, and ugly.

As the days passed, Castiel learned to sleep on his own. One morning when he awoke, there was no migraine. He got up before either of the brothers and made his own cup of coffee. It wasn’t as sweet as Dean’s, but it was tolerable. Dean came in the kitchen smiling at his friend.

“No more busting headache?”

“Not even a little.”

“So you don’t need my room service anymore?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows and winked at Castiel with a crooked smile.

The newly fallen angel kept his guard up constantly around Dean. The hunter made Castiel so nervous and jittery that he felt like there were fireflies roaming around in his stomach just to make him dizzy every time Dean spoke or gave a look in his direction.

Castiel wasn’t stupid, naïve maybe, but not stupid.

He had seen enough of human interaction to know when someone was flirting. And he was sure that Dean flirted with him.

Sam went to bed early one evening, leaving Dean to search out lore. Castiel wasn’t sleepy yet, so he fixed himself a snack and stayed with Dean as he got lost in his research. Dean always moved his lips, but made no sound when he was reading.

Castiel half ate his snack as he observed Dean’s bow like lips from across the table. Dean took a note in messy handwriting and then shoved the top half of the pen in his mouth, chewing it gently. Castiel dropped a baby carrot as he watched this. Dean looked up and winked at him, asking why he wasn’t tired.

“I’m hungry, not sleepy.” Castiel said lamely, his mouth still slightly agape as he watched the hunter chew on the pen. Dean sometimes gave off such confidence that it was almost arrogant. He leaned back in his chair, playing aimlessly with the pen. Castiel couldn’t help but stare back at Dean. He could see his tongue inch out as he fumbled the pen around in his mouth. Castiel got an alarming notion that the hunter knew exactly what he was doing as he gave an odd smile to Castiel.

He also knew that Dean was womanizing and straight as a string to the naked eye. This compelled Castiel to know why the hunter tortured him so. Castiel hid his own emotions very well, so he thought.

That was, until one evening, as he laid in bed writhing at the thought of Dean. He could no longer take the consuming hunger for the hunter, and decided to confide in Sam. Castiel considered this and realized that it would probably be an embarrassing mistake. After all, this was his love’s brother, and at the very least, this would be grimacing and uncomfortable. But, next to Dean, Sam was all Castiel had.

There hadn’t been a time when Sam hadn’t had his back. Based on that alone, Castiel bit the bullet, got out of bed, and padded barefoot down the hall. He lifted a shaking hand to knock on Sam’s bedroom door one late Sunday night.

It only took three light, consecutive tap tap taps before the young man opened the door.

“Cas…” He said with a raspy voice and paused to look at his watch.

“It’s, like, 3am. What’s wrong?” He asked, looking tired and worried. “I’d hoped I wouldn’t wake you… I heard the television through the door.” Castiel said, feeling stupid already.

“It’s alright, I was half awake.” Sam said with a smile. Sam had always been kind to Castiel, even the times when he didn’t really deserve it. He trusted Sam.

Castiel stood there, lost in what to say, with a perplexed look on his face. Sam finally cleared his throat as if to bring Castiel back to life.

“I just need to talk to someone. To you.” Castiel finally answered.

“I don’t know about you, Cas, but I’m going to need some coffee if it’s conversation time.” Sam said with a yawn. Castiel followed his friend to the kitchen, sat at their table, and waited patiently for him to make his coffee. The smell of coffee made Castiel think of Dean.

Literally everything made him think of Dean. His infatuation had gotten so far out of hand that he was consumed by any and every thing about him.

A few moments later, Castiel accepted a cup of coffee from Sam. Sam sat across the table from Castiel and looked at him expectantly. Castiel didn’t speak a word. Sam made a worried face. Castiel looked away.

“So, what’s bothering you, Cas?” Sam started. “I’m here to listen.”

“Your brother.” Castiel said flatly.

“Yeah… He bothers us all, honestly.” Sam said, chuckling lamely as if trying to ease what was clearly going to be an awkward conversation.

“I’m having feelings… Very odd feelings for Dean.” Castiel in a low, blunt tone.

He may have been human, but his communication skills were still on a lower level than the usual. Before Sam could respond, Castiel spoke again.

“I think I might be in love with him.” He blurted out.

Sam stared at his friend with a knowing smile on his face.

“I think you know you’re in love with him, Cas.” Sam finally got a word in.

Castiel looked mortified and unsure as he raised his eyebrows at Sam, who kept a smug grin on his face the entire time they looked at each other.

“So you see my dilemma, then?” The fallen angel looked up to Sam with sad eyes.

“Yeah,” Sam replied. “But I know things. I know his secrets. I’ve been stuck on this earth for him for over 30 years, I think I can read him pretty well.” Sam said. He scratched the back of his head and mussed up his long hair. It was easy to see that Sam was uncomfortable to a point, but he didn’t seem to have a second thought about helping his newly humanized friend.

Actually, he seemed oddly compelled to do so.

“You know he flirts with you, right?” Sam asked.

“I’ve noticed what I thought was flirting, but it’s different from how he is with women.”

“YEAH!” Sam said excitedly and his face lit up. “That’s because he flirts with women just to get in their pants.”

“I want him in my pants.” Castiel said with a dead straight face, as if he’d just announced something as simple as “it’s raining outside.”

Sam choked on his coffee and gave a few heaving coughs before he settled.

“I didn’t really need to know that, there, Cas.” The young man laughed and washed his hands over his face, as if trying to get the image of something unpleasant out of his mind.

Sam composed himself and continued to speak.

“What I mean, Castiel, is that he flirts with those women for one thing. I don’t think I need to explain to you what that “one thing” is…or do I?” He asked without a note of sarcasm in his voice.

“I don’t think so…?” Castiel half stated and half asked.

“Sex, Cas. That’s all my brother wants from the women. A good time, and then he can drive away from them.” Castiel looked at Sam thoughtfully as he went on.

“He flirts with you differently because he doesn’t want to just fuck you and leave you.”

“So he doesn’t want to have sexual relations with me?” Castiel concluded with a defeated look on his face as he stared into his coffee mug.

“How. On earth, did you deduce that?” Sam asked shaking his head making his shaggy hair whip around his face.

“You’re literally how old, and this is your conclusion!?” Sam asked exasperatedly.

“I’ve honestly lost track of how old I am.” Castiel said thoughtfully.

“CENTURIES old, Castiel. You are a centuries old being.”

“But I’ve only been human for a few weeks, Sam.” Castiel said lowly, his head practically buried in the mug now.

Sam’s exasperation turned into what looked like pity as his face softened.

“I know.” He said kindly.

“I don’t even know what I’m experiencing. All of the feelings and emotions and what my body does when I’m around him, it’s all new to me. It’s all very severe and I don’t know how humans deal with this.” Castiel’s said tensely.

“Cas. Don’t ever tell me what your body does around my brother, okay?” Sam closed his eyes and lifted his head toward the ceiling as if he were praying for patience.

“What I’m trying to tell you is that, when Dean flirts gently, like he does with you, it really means something to him. He’s not just playing you like he does those women.”

Sam folded his hands together on the table. He demanded that Castiel get his face out of the mug and look at him.

“I know my brother. And I know he has feelings for you. Deep feelings.”

Castiel’s heart started beating rapidly.

“But how? I feel like a puppet on a string around him.” Castiel said.

“He’s afraid, Cas.” Sam said solemnly. “I know you’ve seen into him. You’ve seen enough to know he feels vulnerable. And he feels that way around you, and only you.”

“I’m the vulnerable one.” Castiel argued. “I’ve never had any desires like I feel for Dean.”

Sam gave a sort of shudder as Castiel was still sexualizing his brother.

“Look, I get it, okay? I can’t imagine how intimidated you are about the thought of love or,” Sam grimaced as he spoke the next words, “lust for him.”

“But if you want him, you’re going to have to make the first move, Cas.”

“Dean will flirt you to death with and fill you with lust and confusion. But, at the bottom of it, it’s like this: He is more afraid of rejection than anything. He won’t try because of that fear. He’ll lead you on until you go crazy. Until you either walk away from it because of your own fear, or you face it like a real mortal man.” Castiel looked upset, a frown set on his face.

“I know it’s not what you wanna hear, man. But it’s the truth.”

“Dean is a complex person. He knows what his heart wants, but he won’t always go after it, because, as much as he puts on that arrogant and intimidating façade, he does have his own weaknesses. And you are his main one. You have been for almost as long as he’s known you.”

This information took Castiel by pleasant and terrifying surprise.

“Do you trust me, Cas?” Sam asked.

“Of course I do.” Castiel replied.

“Then heed my advice. Step out of your comfort zone, stop being afraid, and go for it!”

“How do I overcome my fear?” Castiel asked, looking away.

“Sam, I’ve never even kissed anyone. I don’t know what Dean will expect of me. I’m an idiot at being human.”

“You’re not an idiot.” Sam reassured him.

“Give Dean hope. Flirt back. Don’t be so shy. Snap out of the idea of being with him, and actually be with him. Trust me, he will know where to go from there.”

At that moment, Castiel and Sam heard footsteps coming their way. They looked at each other and both froze.

“What the hell are you two doing up at this hour?” Dean asked grumpily, his hair messy and eyes struggling to adjust to the light.

“We were just having a chat. Couldn’t sleep.” Sam answered for the both of them.

“What is this, the friggin’ Golden Girls?” Dean replied in a sleepy, annoyed tone. He then went to the refrigerator to search for something edible.

Sam gave Castiel an amused wink, grabbed the pen and paper sitting next to him on the table, scribbled something down and slipped it to Castiel before Dean could see. Castiel opened it to read “He’s jealous that you’re talking to me. Tear this note up.” Castiel tore the note and crumpled it up in his palm, giving Sam a shy, but happy, look of understanding.

“Why stop the chat now?” Dean asked, plopping down a plat that held a half-eaten pie.

“Why the hell are we all awake?” He added.

Castiel and Sam looked at each other, not saying a word.

Castiel looked to Sam to fix this, but Sam had nothing, apparently.

“I actually got up for pie.” Castiel finally said.

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Well you’re not getting any of MY pie.” He stated.

“Just a little?” Castiel asked, gazing at Dean an giving him a half smile.

“Get that puppy dog look off your face and grab a fork, for the love of god.” Dean tried to sound gruff, but instead it humored Castiel.

Castiel grabbed a fork and sat in the chair next to Dean.

Sam stayed seated and watched the two of them interact.

“I just want a bite of the crust.” Castiel said, diving his fork toward the crust.

“Hold on!” Dean said, blocking Castiel’s fork with his own.

“That’s the best part!” he argued.

“That’s why I want it… Just a nibble.” Castiel said pathetically. “I’ve never got to enjoy food before, and the crust is what I want.”

Dean rolled his eyes dramatically and gave the entire plate to Castiel.

“There, Cas. Have some pie. I’ll just eat nothing.” He huffed.

Castiel used his fork to pick up several slices of apple inside the middle of the pie and offered it to Dean.

Dean looked at him warily.

“What? Castiel said. “I told you I only wanted the crust. He shrugged.

Dean eyed the pie being offered to him and slowly leaned forward to eat it off the fork.

Dean still looked grumpy, but Castiel got the crust he wanted.

Sam let out a snort, got up for a bottle of water, and announced that he was going back to sleep as he walked away.

“What’s his deal?” Dean asked suspiciously.

Castiel gave Dean a hooded glance and shrugged again. “I don’t really know.”

The two of them finished off the pie and said their goodnights.

They went to their separate bathrooms to brush their teeth before going to their rooms.

Castiel laid in bed thinking over and over about what Sam had told him. He felt the humanized giddiness of happy panic. His insides were dancing as if fairies lived in him at the thought of Dean desiring him.

But…he had to make the first move? Castiel pondered this for a few moments, and without over thinking it, jumped out of his bed and tapped on Dean’s door.

Dean answered the door with a “what?” He was wearing only boxer briefs. Castiel didn’t speak as his eyes swept over every inch of Dean’s toned body, glancing briefly at his crotch.

Dean snapped his fingers at Castiel.

“Hey, buddy, my eyes are up here.” Dean said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

Castiel felt heat in his cheeks and hoped he wasn’t blushing.

Castiel didn’t care about how bad he was at being human. If what Sammy said was right, then he’d be doing whatever he could to make Dean feel as loved as Castiel loved him.

“Dean, I haven’t been able to sleep all night, and I can’t sleep now. Would you come read to me?” He said with downcast eyes, his long lashes touching his upper cheeks.

Dean’s voice went soft. “Is the insomnia back? Do you have a headache? Of course I’ll read to you. Give me one minute.” Castiel smiled a thank you at Dean and went to his own room.

A few moments later Dean walked into Castiel’s room where the light was so dim it was hard to see. Castiel had lit candles. He often did this to calm his nerves. The room smelled of lavender.

Dean went to the corner of the room to grab the chair he’d always sat in. Castiel stopped him.

“Come, sit here.” He said, patting the edge of his queen sized bed and scooting over to give Dean plenty of space. Castiel was under the covers, so Dean stayed on top of them politely. He leaned against the head of the bed and began to read in that soothing tone of his.

But, Castiel didn’t have sleep on his mind. Just as he told Sam, he had no idea what he was doing, but he was damn sure going to try to do it. As Dean read, Castiel inched closer and leaned his head on the hunter’s shoulder. Dean stumbled a few words aloud and cleared his throat.

A few sentences later, Castiel sunk down lower in the bed so that he could lay his head on Dean’s chest. Dean stopped reading for a moment, and sank down a few inches with Castiel. He continued to read where he’d left off. Castiel bravely placed his arm across Dean’s stomach. Dean went on without a pause and casually slumped one arm around Castiel’s shoulders.

Castiel felt doubt threaten his mind, but it wasn’t as strong as the warmth that he got from being so close to his friend. Castiel loved the humming of Dean’s voice ad he read. Being this close to Dean, being in his embrace, had brought all of the blood from his head to other areas of his body.

Dean made the next slouch down in the bed. They played this game until Dean’s head lay squarely on one of Castiel’s pillows, and Castiel’s head lay on Dean’s chest. Castiel hadn’t let go of Dean, and he was happily laying with the hunter’s arm around him. Castiel fake yawned, causing Dean to yawn as well.

“You sleepy enough to pass out yet?” Dean asked, a hint of worry in his speech.

“Uh uh” Castiel responded truthfully. He’d never been in want of sleep less in his mortal life.

“Well, I can’t hold this book up for much longer.” Dean said in an entirely too forced way. He spoke uncomfortably.

Castiel didn’t respond. Dean bookmarked where he’d left off.

“Cas?”

“Dean?”

“Are we cuddling?”

There was a second of silence.

“I think so.” Castiel said bravely, still with the covers between them to hide his hardness.

It took all of his strength to look up at Dean, who wore a small smile on his face.

“Cas… why are we cuddling?” Dean asked in a husky voice that he’d never heard the hunter use before.

“Because,” Castiel said, laying his head back to Dean’s chest, “You’re warm, and comfortable, and you smell nice.”

Dean chuckled and scooted down a few inches to be even with face Castiel. Dean took Castiel’s head gently in his hands, forcing him to make eye contact.

“Is that the only reason, angel?”

Castiel frowned. “I’m not an angel anymore, Dean.

Dean leaned in so close to Castiel that he could feel Dean breathe against his lips.

“You’ll always be my angel.” Dean said and quickly let go, looking away.

With every ounce of bravery the newly mortal man had in him, Castiel spoke.

“Why won’t you kiss me?” He asked Dean.

Dean turned back to face Castiel.

“Cas, you’re pretty new to this whole “mortal” thing. Don’t make me make a bad decision because you’re feelings are fucked up.” He spoke as a friend to Castiel.

Castiel had spent so much time wanting and needing Dean so that “friendship” wasn’t exactly what was on his mind. He wanted more than that. He always had. Maybe turning mortal was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to Castiel.

“Dean. Do you want me?”

Dean took a moment to answer. He squirmed uncomfortably. Castiel glanced down to see a raised spot in Dean’s sweatpants.

Castiel struggled to not let out any noise of excitement at this. He kept the feelings pushed down as far as possible, while his mind ran wild. He had a hard time containing himself, but he managed.

“What do you know of “wanting” someone, Cas?” Dean asked, still in the friend mode.

“I know that, before I was human, I wanted you. I know that the moment I turned mortal I could no longer hide my desire for you.”

“Desire?” Dean said gruffly.

“Yes. I desire every inch of you. I always have.” Castiel spoke more brazenly to Dean than he ever had. If getting Dean meant he had to bare his soul, then he was willing to do so.

“Whoah.” Dean said, clearly shocked by what he’d heard.

“Who knew angels could talk dirty?”

Castiel got annoyed. He leaned up on his arm to better face Dean, to look into his beautiful abyss of green eyes.

“Stop. Toying. With. Me.” Castiel spoke between gritted teeth, though he wasn’t angry. He was consumed with frustration.

“Fine.” Dean said. In an instant he pushed Castiel onto his back and was on top of him, blankets tossed from between them. Dean’s lips met Castiel’s. Castiel’s pushed back hard against Dean’s kiss

Dizziness encompassed the newly mortal Castiel. After all the pining, he was finally getting what he’d longed so relentlessly for since he’d met Dean. Castiel wasn’t an experienced kisser, but followed Dean’s lead to as best as he could. Their tongues played together in unison.

Dean embraced Castiel, rubbing their fully clothed bodies together.

Castiel bit down hard on Dean’s lower lip and sucked his tongue. There was more desperation in this moment than Castiel had ever felt in all of his eons of age. He pushed his hips into Dean’s. The most sensitive parts of their bodies clashed together making heat in Castiel’s pants that had never existed before.

Castiel pulled at Dean’s shirt desperately, dragging him in closer so he could reach his neck. “Big, bad” Dean gave out a moan as Castiel sucked on the spot below his ears.

“You don’t want to do that.” Dean said in a deadly serious voice.

“Make me stop, then.” Castiel bit Dean’s neck and kept a hold of him. It seemed as though the tension that the two men shared for each other was almost a fight.

“That’s my spot.” Dean said breathing hard. Castiel didn’t stop sucking.”

“Cas,” Dean kept on, “You don’t get what I’m saying.”

That much was true. He didn’t know what Dean meant when he said “That’s my spot.” The naïve fallen angel was much too innocent to understand. Dean finally pulled away from Castiel. Castiel fought to get to him, but Dean kept his hands pushing down on his shoulders, and kept straddling him, not enabling him to move, though Castiel fought against him in an almost viciously desperate way.

“There are certain temptations that I can’t handle, Cas.” Dean said breathing heavy. His eyes were a shade of green that Castiel had never quite seen, his pupils were large and he had a crazed look about him. This look turned Castiel on, and also made him feel very vulnerable.

“There are consequences when you push too far, and, buddy, you’re pushing too far.” Dean said. His eyes were blazing and arms shaking as he looked deep into Castiel’s eyes and held him down.

Dean made the mistake of releasing his left hand from Castiel’s shoulder to check and see if he was bleeding from where Cas had bit and sucked him into an oblivion of desire. Castiel grabbed Dean’s neck with his freed arm and drug the hunter back to him. He kissed Dean roughly until, yet again, the hunter pulled away, pinning his best friend to the bed for certain this time.

“We’re not doing this, Cas. I’m not going to fuck you.” He said gently but with a firm tone. Not like this. Not because we’re crazed, lust filled animals. You deserve better than that.”

Immediately, Castiel was taken back to the first time he formally met Dean. The Dean who didn’t think he deserved anything—especially to be alive. And now he felt as though he didn’t deserve to be loved. His heart ached at the hunter’s words.

Castiel wouldn’t give up that easily.

He gave up the fight and allowed Dean to hold him down, although still throbbing through his boxers. Castiel crooked his head sideways at Dean. “You still don’t think you deserve to be loved, do you?” He asked, intrigue in his voice.

“I don’t deserve to be loved by you. No matter the grace being gone, you’re still an angelic creature. You’re pure and lily white. That is why I will always call you “Angel.”

“I’ll stay lily white, regardless of what we do together.” Castiel promised Dean.

“Just let me in.” Castiel all but begged.

“Let me experience love.” His eyes were watery.

Dean leaned down to kiss his friend again.

“How can I turn that down?” Dean asked.

“Please don’t.” Castiel said.

Dean and Castiel laid on their sides facing each other. Castiel had an innocent and expectant look planted on his face as he looked into the eyes of his best friend.

Dean inched closer to Castiel.

“Is this what you really want?” Dean asked so softly that Castiel could barely hear him.

“Yes, you’re what I want. You have been from the moment I met you.”

“Is that really how long this has been going on, Cas?”

“For me, at least.” Castiel refused to look at Dean.

“As for you, you’d have to tell me.”

“I can’t tell you, but I can show you.” Dean took Castiel’s face in his hands and kissed him long and slowly. There was passion in the kiss, but it was different. It was more of a gentle, unspoken “I love you.”

Castiel closed his eyes to enjoy this new sensation.

Castiel stared at Dean when the kiss was over. Dean’s hands were still around his face.

Without thinking, Castiel admitted the truth.

“I love you.” He said, never breaking eye contact.

Dean froze and released Castiel’s face.

“Don’t tell me that, Cas.” Dean said, staying inches from Castiel’s lips.” “I’m weak from holding it in.” Castiel admitted.

Dean grazed his hands gently down Castiel’s face.

Then, Dean said something Castiel hadn’t ever even let himself imagined he’d say.

“I’ve loved you from day one, Castiel.” He cast his head down as if with shame.

“I just couldn’t ever imagine that someone so pure could see anything worthy in me.”

“I see all of heaven on earth in you, Dean Winchester.” Castiel replied.

“And I see all the innocence of heaven and earth in you. You’re the most amazing creature I’ve ever known.”

The two men stared at each other, their eyes searching one another for a trace of what to do next.

Instantaneously, they grabbed each other’s faces and began kissing again.

Castiel broke the kiss, trying to breathe normally.

“Dean,” He started seriously, “I don’t really know how to please you, but I want to… You’ll have to be patient.”

Dean gave a deviant laugh that made Castiel’s stomach feel as though he’d dropped off of a ten story building.

Dean gentle straddled Castiel again, but allowed enough room to grab into the waistband of Castiel’s pajamas. Castiel closed his eyes as Dean touched him.

Dean teased him for a few moments before Castiel began to untie the waistband of Dean’s sweatpants. He was met by Dean’s hand. Dean shook his head no.

Instead of trying to get the sweatpants off, Castiel felt Dean through them. He ran his hand along the print of the hunter’s most sensitive area, while still dragging his face close so that he could nibble at Dean’s neck.

Dean, for once, followed someone else’s lead. He rubbed Castiel through his thin pajamas.

Castiel was experiencing pure ecstasy for the first time in his life. He was slightly afraid by the powerful force of excitement he was feeling, and wasn’t sure what his body would do next. He removed Dean’s hand because he was afraid of the outcome. He kept sucking Dean’s neck, and rubbing him through his sweats.

“Castiel,” Dean began with a desperate and needy voice, “if you don’t stop, we’re going to have a moment. A moment I’m not sure if you’re prepared for.”

Castiel’s heart hammered in his chest and he didn’t think once about aborting what he was doing.

“Cas…” Dean kept saying over and over, his voice hitching as Castiel continued.

“Don’t do this to me.” Dean whispered.

Castiel didn’t respond, he just continued to devour every inch of the hunter.

“Cas…” Dean moaned into Castiel’s ear once more before he released.

Dean raised up slowly and breathed abnormally while trying to cover the mess in his sweatpants.

Dean excused himself to clean up, and returned a few moments later wearing a towel around his waist.

Looking uncertain, the hunter got into Castiel’s bed.

“Do you regret that?” Dean questioned, his breathing back to normal.

Castiel looked up at Dean with a satisfied smile. His eyes were beaming an innocent, baby blue.

“Not in the least.”

Dean drug Castiel close, cradling him. He kissed the fallen one on his head.

“You’re still lily white, aren’t you, Angel?”

“I told you.” Castiel smiled sweetly at Dean.

They held on to each other until they fell asleep. Castiel had never been happier in his long, long life.

#destiel fluff #destiel #destielfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #maybe a little smut

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all-i-know-is-pouring-rain · 5 years

Text

My First Letter to Taylor

Dear Taylor:

Did you receive the letter I sent to you in April? It’s okay if you didn’t, because I’m going to tell you what I wrote in my letter here. But I still hope you have received the cat sticker I attached to the envelope (I’ve been trying hard to improve my English handwriting.)

Last May, when you came to Los Angeles for your Reputation Tour, I wrote letters to you, your mom and your dad, and gave you cat bookmark and panda bookmarks as presents. Pandas are my favorite animal. What they do all day is sleep, play and eat bamboo––the perfect ideal life.

I only hope this will be an interesting story. It’s really long, but I promise you will be intrigued once you start it. If you want, you can read it for relaxation when you are going to bed or using the bathroom. I don't want to waste your invaluable time. And could you read it on a computer? I feel like the setup on phones is kind of weird.

⬇️ Below is the first letter I sent out to you ⬇️

Dear Taylor:

I’m sitting in the tree, writing this letter for you. Today's sunset is really stunning. I lean on the branches as I look into the sky, tinted in orange, pink, and golden like the enthralling flowing of the tide. I hope the sunset tonight at your place is also as gorgeous as this.

It snowed yesterday. Snowflakes were fluttering in the air, falling on my hair, on my eyelashes, and on the tip of my nose. I sang in the snow. I danced in the snow. I was as happy as you seeing the snow in London. It was fully snowing.

Since the birds haven’t returned, I’m going to stay in the tree for a while. Those birds are good friends with me. They didn't quite like me at first, probably feeling that I was disturbing their peaceful life. But as I often help them pick the fruit, collect the branches, and repair their nests, we have gotten to know each other pretty well. They also did me a favor once.

You may ask, dear Taylor, what kind of favor did those birds help me with?

Oh, they did me a huge favor. They helped me deliver the letter I wrote to you.

Last May, when you came to Los Angeles for your Reputation Tour, I wrote letters to you, your mom and your dad, and gave you bookmarks as presents. I would like to copy down the first paragraph of that letter here, because this is what I want to say to you over and over again.

I just want to remind you what an amazing, warmhearted, fearless and enormously talented human being you are. So please never, ever belittle yourself. You have your family, your friends, and thousands upon thousands of fans who will fight dragons with you and stay till the last page and support you and never leave you.

Today, I would like to tell you a story, a story about me, and a story about you. When you performed at the iHeart Radio Music Festival for the first time in Las Vegas, you said, "When you sing along to my songs, you are singing along to the stories of my life." But do you know? When you sing, you are also singing along to the stories of our lives. I only hope this will be an interesting story. If you want, you can read it for relaxation when you are going to bed or using the bathroom. I don't want to waste your invaluable time.

__________________★★★__________________

The story begins during a summer break, a summer break that belongs to soda, lollipops and cartoons. That year, I was in second grade. That year, you released your first album.

The coolness of the early morning had not fully melted away. I shuddered as soon as I threw back the bedclothes. Outside the window, the silky rays of glowing sunlight gently washed against the lotus flower; dewdrops were rolling in the emerald lotus leaves. I jumped out of my bed and hurried to put on my old swimsuit. I felt in the pocket of my jacket, pulling out a few coins, enough for a bun.

I finished the last bite of my bun when I arrived at the pool. There was a newcomer here today, a girl, but taller than most of the boys at the pool. She was wearing her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. I wiped my greasy mouth and looked down at the rolled-up sleeves of my jacket. I was short. My sleeves always covered my hand.

The girl’s name was 严穆.

I didn’t ask. She told me herself.

Dear Taylor, in order to make you feel more connected to the story, I will use her English name. Her English name was Coco.

Coco said, “Let’s be friends.”

I said, “Okay.”

Every noon, I climbed out of the pool and ran home as fast as I could. I had been waiting for Coco to knock on the door ever since I finished my lunch. We paddled in the stream, played on the swing, and took shelter from the rain under the leafy oak tree. Raindrops were patting on the leaves; we seemed like two little frogs.

Coco told me she would not go to this school anymore next year. She was moving to America, because her dad was going to work there. America, I nodded, seemed like a far away place. But how far exactly? I knew Disneyland was far, the airport was far. America, that should probably be even farther. Anyhow, I didn’t see her again after school started.

And then I went to fifth grade. That year, you released your second album. I attended the craft club on the first day of school. There was one kid in class who raised her hand to ask a question. As soon as she spoke out the first word, I felt like I had been stung by a bee. Her voice was so familiar. Her face was so familiar. I just couldn’t remember who she was.

Of course, dear Taylor, you must have already guessed that surely this was Coco. But how could I know it back then? I didn’t stand from God’s point of view to look at my script of life.

I fretfully held a pen between my teeth. A thousand voices were quarreling in my brain. I had to ask my friend. My friend said, “Don’t you know? The kid from class three. She just came back from America.”

I thought, It’s her. I do have a memory like a sieve.

I thought, Her hair is still so messy.

Coco turned to me and waved mildly. "It’s been a long time."

Looking up at the shallow smile on her face, I swallowed back my excitement of the reunion. I nodded, "It sure has."

And then we went to middle school. That year, you released your third album. When the big iron gate of school crunched as it slowly opened, I took a deep breath and walked in. I did not expect––of course––Coco and I were in the same class. Watching that tall girl get up from her seat and step onto the platform to introduce herself, I lay on the desk soundlessly, as disturbed as a lump of entangled algae. For some reason, I wished I could become smaller, even smaller, small enough that Coco could not see me.

Two months after the school started, our grade went on a military training trip. Oh dear Taylor, you must have never experienced this when you were in middle school. Back in my home, we have military training in middle school, high school and college. We stayed in a military camp for one week to practice boxing, marching, standing and so on. I can continue on counting those exhausting events forever. I confess that I hate exercise of any kind. But the nights were fun. We resided in those large dorms with sixteen kids in one. We took turns telling stories or just kept chatting until everyone drifted to sleep.

Ah yeah, I was still that short. Though I had already entered middle school by now, I didn’t seem to grow much.

Coco was still that tall. So it was weird that she slept next to me during military training. It was weird that she lent me her jacket (too big) in the chilly nights. It was weird that she wasn’t huffing nor puffing while we were doing squats under the blazing sun––I was dead on my feet. It was weird that she treated me to frozen waxberry from the snack bar. Dear Taylor, have you ever tried frozen waxberry before? Boy, that’s delicious, more delicious than cookie dough and cinnamon rolls. If one day I get to meet you, I will definitely bring some for you.

That was the fourth day of the military training. The dewdrops didn’t yet roll off the leaves, and the reveille had sounded. I crawled out of my warm bed. Coco seemed to get up very early, standing outside the dorm straightening her military uniform. Actually there wasn’t much to be straightening up, since we were all wearing those distributed uniform that were as big as sacks. Especially for me. My sleeves already covered my hand.

I finished washing up and walked out of the dorm with a yawn. Coco patted my head when I passed her. She was much taller than me; this gesture was such a piece of cake for her. "Wanna hear a song? It might cheer you up."

“Yeah sure.” I nodded as I rolled up my sleeves.

Coco reached into her trouser pocket and pulled out a blue iPod. She must have caught the sparkles in my eyes like scattered moondust in the sky––She has an iPod! That’s so cool!––because I saw the corner of her mouth curve up into a slight smile. She didn't say anything, just plugged an earbud into my ear.

The moment the song started, I couldn't help widening my eyes. I had never heard something like this, so... so… Please forgive me, dear Taylor, I wasn’t able to find an accurate word to describe my feelings at that time. I guess what I was trying to say was probably so brisk and vivacious, refreshing and gripping. All in all, I was attracted to it at once. And that was an English song. I didn’t listen to English songs often.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes!" I clapped my hands together, "I love it!"

Coco chuckled. The number of times she had laughed these past few days was extraordinary. In fact, she looked pretty delightful when she laughed. I didn't know why I had never noticed it before.

“It’s called Speak Now, sung by Taylor Swift. She’s my favorite singer.”

The team leader was blowing the whistle, ordering us to gather up. This was the last sentence Coco said before running towards the field. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift, I felt the bounce of the name on the tip of my tongue. That’s a really beautiful name. My English name is Cherry. I picked it for myself in kindergarten, because I liked cherries. But what was even more fascinating to me was that pure voice, like a stream in the forest hopping between the rocks, gurgling out a cheerful tune, and gushing forward with waves of shining light.

That year, dear Taylor, I was twelve. You were twenty.

Nine years have passed. When that military training full of laughter and romping around gradually faded into the shadowy past, I still remember so distinctly that Thursday morning, when I met you for the first time, as transparent and luminous as the autumn sky. You were wearing that purple dress from the tour, with your hands clasped behind your back. Your skirt was swaying in the breeze. The warm sunlight caressed your red cheeks. Strands of your golden curls fell on your shoulders. You were looking straight at me with those bright blue eyes. The way your lips lifted upward. The way your dimples crinkled. The way your teeth were perfectly aligned.

In the splendid rosy blush of morn, you raised one hand and waved toward me, like what you always do in every show, in every performance, enunciating each word clearly and carefully.

“Hi. I’m Taylor.”

So I was won over by Coco's iPod, maybe also because of the frozen waxberry she treated me, maybe also because of the stories she told me before bed, maybe also because she helped me finish those nasty beans at lunch––Oh, how I hate eating beans. A short one-week military training thus inexplicably melted the inexplicable barrier between Coco and me. We soon became close friends once again.

I seemed to have a crush on her.

Yes, dear Taylor, I was as surprised as you are right now when I came to this conclusion. Over time, Coco and I had a better and better relationship, to the point that it felt a little bit different from normal friends. One day, I just suddenly realized that. So I sat down on a rock and pondered with knitted brows. That was when the big word “LIKE” jumped into my mind. It gave me such a huge shock. Not to mention anything else, the two of us were both girls. I was afraid that I would scare Coco away if I confessed. I could not afford the embarrassing rejection and the despising glare.

I told Coco that I started listening to your songs. She was really happy, and asked which one I was listening to.

"The Outside."

"Oh? I thought you would begin with the more famous ones, like Tim McGraw. Why this one?"

I smiled and didn't say a word.

And I can still see you; this ain't the best view

On the outside, lookin' in

I've been a lot of lonely places

I've never been on the outside

I was too scared.

However, I didn’t end up keeping the secret for long. It was a council period during the spring of seventh grade. The whole class was playing a game. Everyone had a lined paper pinned on their backs; others were free to write down whatever they wanted to say, but you didn’t know which comment came from whom. The classroom was full of cheers and laughter.

After the class, I took off the lined paper from my back. My gaze was fixed on four average-sized words in the center: 我喜欢你, which means “I like you.” Who wrote it? My hands were shaking. Was it Coco? Was that even possible? I didn’t dare to ask.

But Coco said, Yes.

Thus we have shown our hearts to each other. Ah, those sweet and innocent good old days. I couldn’t wait to go to school every morning, so that I could see Coco, so that I could talk to her and hold hands with her. Even if we just sat down under the enormous leafy oak tree doing absolutely nothing but breathing, I prayed secretly inside my heart that this moment could last forever.

That summer break, we did something crazy––you can say I was silly, dear Taylor, I know I’m silly––going out for a walk at two in the morning. We slipped out of our homes, and passed through lanes after lanes, roads after roads, blocks after blocks. Sometimes we chatted, sometimes we walked side by side quietly. As long as Coco was beside me, I could hear my heart thumping wildly in my chest. All kinds of colorful and glamorous butterflies were flying inside my stomach.

The streets of the city rested in silence as the starry black sky wept over it. Even the birds returned home to sleep. Only the lamps were gleaming in creamy yellow. Coco reached into her trouser pocket and pulled out the blue iPod. She plugged an earbud into my ear and squeezed my hand.

There's somethin' bout the way

The street looks when it's just rained

There's a glow off the pavement

Walk me to the car

And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there

In the middle of the parking lot

Yeah

The moonlight scattered in the air, woven into a soft net, covering all the creatures in their dreams. Amid the absolute silence of the night, the only thing I wanted to do was hold Coco’s hand and dance in the boundless darkness in my best dress.

Fearless

After summer break, everyone became eighth graders. We always had those general cleanings at the beginning of the year. I fetched a large bucket of water, ready to mop the floor. Coco walked up to me with a broom in her hand. She was so tall. I felt like one of the seven dwarfs in Snow White. She leaned down to my ear. I thought she was trying to bite my ear. I didn’t know what she was doing. But she said, I love you.

I spent a century trying to collect every piece of myself. I blinked dumbfounded, as if being struck by lightning. Coco’s voice seemed to come from miles away, yet she was standing there right in front of me. I forgot who I was, where I was, what I was doing. In the midst of my completely vacant mind, only one melody was echoing.

We were both young when I first saw you.

We were indeed too young.

I turned fourteen. The birthday present my mom and dad gave me was a silver iPod. Though I had begged them for a long time, I still yelled out the moment I unwrapped the gift box.

I invited my friends, including Coco. We played tag, Red light, Green light, and hide and seek in our yard. Coco always won in tag, because she was tall and ran fast. My sister always lost, because she was the youngest and ran the slowest. We chased each other before dinner started. During the cheering and blessing and happy birthday song, mom and dad brought in the chocolate fruit cake.

I closed my eyes, put my hands together, and made a wish before the candles. To be honest, I have forgotten most of the wishes I made that day. Except one, and only this one.

I hoped to God that Coco could kiss me for once, just once would be enough.

I even had dreamed of our wedding at Disneyland. We would both wear white wedding gowns and come down from a crystal pumpkin carriage. The harp and flute would start playing while we walked through a path of rose petals. The fireworks would bloom above the Sleeping Beauty Castle.

Dear Taylor, I think you would’ve liked me at that time, because I was a dumb kid, dumb and naïve.

And then, the days passed by the same as they used to. The life of a student was actually quite fixed in form. Gradually, I found out that when Coco chatted or played with other friends, my heart was always burbling with jealousy. We had agreed to go to the stationery store to buy compasses for math class. Coco probably once again dismissed the matter from her mind, and rushed to the basketball court as soon as the bell rang. Perhaps she shouldn’t be blamed for this; some kids are just forgetful. Nonetheless, I learned to use the compass to carve my arm, which seemed to vent some of my anger.

No, no, dear Taylor, please don't put this letter down. I don't mean to scare you away or make you feel uncomfortable. As I said before, I just want to tell you an interesting story, a story about me, and a story about you. This is simply one of the episodes that cannot be skipped. Believe me, it will end soon.

I pushed open the door. In the dusk of the silent house, the dim light was swaying from side to side. I lay on the floor; my fresh wound was oozing drops of blood. It hurt, of course it hurt, otherwise how could it be called cutting? At first, this did work. Coco was really distressed. But over time she became numb. Humans become numb easily.

That was a day of an endless, dreadful, piercing cold winter. After school, Coco called me to the outside of the classroom. She said, “Let’s break up.” She opened her mouth glacially, “胡玥然.” From the second I heard my full name, I knew something was definitely going wrong. Those three words were engraved on my ear with the abruptness of a blow. Every inch of the echo was ripping and gnawing at my heart.

That afternoon, I didn't go home right after school got out. I walked towards the park with my school bag over my shoulder. I crossed the meadow, passed the playground, rounded the lake, heading straight to that enormous leafy oak tree. I put my bag under the tree and began to climb up, up high, so high that you couldn’t see me from underneath. Coco once asked me with surprise how I was able to climb so high. I had no clue. I suppose it’s an instinct.

I finally stopped. I sat down between two branches. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the silver iPod. Putting on my headphones, I opened one song. Dear Taylor, could you guess which one?

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car

I keep singing, don't know why I do…

I cried. As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain rushed out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a mute scream. That was so cruel, so cruel, so casually cruel in the name of being honest. I huddled down with two hands pressing over my stomach. My entrails seemed to have been tied in hard snarls. Salty drops fell from my chin one after another, drenching my shirt, ripping through my muscles, bones, and guts.

I don't know why I chose this song. I should have chosen a brighter one like Stay Beautiful. Anyhow, it became the first English song I learned to sing from beginning to end, because that afternoon, I listened to Teardrops on My Guitar a thousand times, until every melody was twining around my mind, until every lyric was spinning on my tongue, until the sun dipped below the horizon and stars began to poke out of the clouds. I climbed down from the tree, wiped away my tears, carried my bag and ran towards home.

I was not strong, dear Taylor, I was not strong at all. I just pretended to be.

So you could probably imagine how thrilled I was when I learnt that you sang Teardrops on My Guitar in Denver as the surprise song. "When you sing along to my songs, you are singing along to the stories of my life." But more importantly, you are also singing along to the stories of our lives. Teardrops on My Guitar is definitely in the top three of by-far-the-most-meaningful-song-to-me-among-all-of-your-songs ranking list. Perhaps the top one. I think my biggest dream––besides bringing frozen waxberry to you––is that one day I can watch you perform the original version of this song with my own eyes (or the version with ‘You’ instead of ‘Drew’).

Drew talks to me

I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny

That I can't even see

Anyone when he's with me

There was another thing I did before going to bed that night. When Shirley called, I said, "Are you satisfied now?"

__________________★★★__________________

This letter should probably stop here for now. I’d better climb down from the tree since the sky is getting dark. The birds finally come back and greet me amiably, "Writing another letter, Cherry?"

"Yeah, I’m writing to Taylor."

"Awesome. We can help you deliver it to her after you finish."

"That will be wonderful. Thank you so much."

Dear Taylor, I hope by far this story is tolerably interesting, perhaps providing some enjoyment for your bedtime or bathroom time. As you can tell, clearly this story is not finished yet. I will continue it in my next letter, then I have to trouble the birds with another trip.

Sincerely,

Cherry

PS: I apologize for my awkward English. Please forgive me if I made any mistakes.

PPS: My sister says if one day you come to visit us, she will do the chicken dance while singing Welcome to New York as she opens the door to welcome you. I don’t know if there is even a tiny relation between the chicken dance and Welcome to New York. Plus we live in Los Angeles, not New York.

PPPS: My tumblr name is called CherrywholovesTaylor. I’m terrible at giving names. I’ve been trying hard to make my life not so boring.

PPPPS：If you receive two identical letters, please don't be surprised. I find two of your addresses. I don't know which one will work, so I write two letters. I hope you have received both of them, then you can get double cat stickers.

@taylorswift @taylornation

#mylettertotaylor

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daisybaeks-archive · 6 years

Text

adagietto | baekhyun

Genre: Angst, AU

Pairing: Baekhyun x female!reader

warnings: themes of death (no violence or blood though), copious amounts of musical terminology

listen to this while you read

also i want to tag angst queen @kyungiebaby bc a) i can, and b) this is payback for all the angst you’ve written

“Wie ich Dich liebe, Du meine Sonne, ich kann mit Worten Dir’s nicht sagen. Nur meine Sehnsucht kann ich Dir klagen und meine Liebe, meine Wonne!”

Having your own private suite in concert halls is something that isn’t entirely new to you, but this time is different. You can feel it in the way the ushers look at you with sympathy in their eyes, in the way the audience members floating to their seats bow their heads respectfully when you cross paths, in the way you are all alone in your little balcony, no presence by your side.

You didn’t expect the concert to be so soon. Didn’t think you would have to leave your house and face the snobs dressed in their cocktail dresses and well-worn tuxedos. Didn’t think you’d have the strength to sit through movement after movement, piece after piece.

But here you sit. Alone. Tugging at the sleeves of your dress because it’s too cold, concert halls have always been too cold for you.

Baekhyun would always give you his suit jacket.

The orchestra onstage is warming up, flying through notes that you know so well, have heard so many times that you hear them in your dreams. Fluttering melodies and heart wrenching symphonies surrounding your subconscious in a never-ending cacophony. Your pulse beats in time to the music, your breathing signals the cues.

It isn’t long until the concertmaster appears, eliciting the polite applause from the audience. She bows, and from this distance you recognize her. If there was anyone who loved Baekhyun, knew Baekhyun, as much as you, it was her, a talented violinist who worked with your husband often. You wonder if she feels the same pain, knowing that this is the last time a Byun Baekhyun piece will debut.

She raises her violin and plays an A that echoes, haunting the hall.

The concert begins.

–

Empty. Your home was empty, void of the absentminded plucking of strings, the humming of imperfect melodies, even the droning of the television. There was nothing, a hole of silence where an orchestra of sound once played.

You weren’t sure whether you found solace or heartbreak in the fact that Baekhyun’s death hadn’t changed a thing about it.

“How much do you love me?”

“Not at all, I hate you.”

“Ha.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Hmm. I love you more than there are notes on this page. More than the stars in the sky. More than, um, sheep on a farm?”

“That was terrible.”

“This is why I write music, dummy. I’m no good with words.”

“It’s okay. I love you anyways.”

You didn’t leave your bed those first few days.

Your friends brought in food that lay mostly untouched on your nightstand, sat next to you in silence and rubbed your back. You said nothing, just tucked the blanket tighter around yourself until they left.

You didn’t cry. Didn’t scream. Didn’t feel anything. The thing you loved most in your life had been ripped away, yet you were hollow. A shell. An empty auditorium with only ghosts as an audience.

This is how he must have felt, you thought, closing your eyes.

World famous composer dies in hospital

Byun Baekhyun, 42, was declared dead this morning.

Health troubles and emotional strain have been plaguing the composer for the past two years. After a long battle, complete with multiple hospital visits and long periods in which he wouldn’t leave his house, he passed away this morning in the company of his wife.

Byun is world renowned for his emotional works. He started composing at the age of seventeen, and has since written a total of ten symphonies and a number of other pieces. He is praised for his ability to make people feel the deepest of human emotions.

News of memorial services are still to come. Members of the family have not made any comments at this time.

It started with his hearing.

After he started going deaf, Baekhyun started drifting. He would spend more time alone, silently staring off into space. You caught him more than once snapping near his ear, expression twisted with frustration and self-hatred. He’d press keys on the grand piano, eyes screwed shut in concentration. His hearing wasn’t completely gone yet, but it was fading quickly.

You’d gently grab his shaky hands and press them against your heart. He looked scared, you had realized. He was terrified.

You lay your head against his chest and swayed with him to a melody only you could hear.

“Baekhyun!”

“God, sorry. Yes?”

“I was asking what you wanted for dinner.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Baek…”

“I’m not!”

“You need to eat something.”

“What’s the point?”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I can’t hear. I can’t make music. I can’t listen to music, God, I can’t even hear you properly. I can’t do anything. What’s the point?”

His studio was untouched.

In the corner, his violin. On his bookshelf, picture frames of the two of you. On his desk, a mess of papers.

Steeling yourself, you made your way to the desk and began flipping through the debris. One of Baekhyun’s friends had just needed some confirmation for the memorial service, some document that he had stored.

You brushed aside some letters and found a score.

Your heart leapt into your throat. It had been two years since Baekhyun had written anything, and you definitely had never seen this piece before. It was finished, and had been for a while.

You turned the last page of the score over and found a poem, scrawled in messy handwriting.

Memorial service for Byun Baekhyun

A concert will be held in memory of renowned composer Byun Baekhyun. The program will feature many of his most recognizable pieces, as well as the debut of his very last piece, discovered posthumously by his wife.

“I’m dying.”

Stop. Don’t say that.

“It’s okay.”

I need you.

“You have to be strong for me.”

Baekhyun.

“I love you.”

Don’t.

“I love you.”

It ended with his heart.

The loss of his hearing was devastating. He didn’t eat, didn’t sleep. He kept you up during the long hours of the night, pacing back and forth in your bedroom when he thought you were asleep. He was caught in his own head a lot, always thinking and disappearing into his studio. The pain and neglect weakened his body. You could see it in how thin he was, the bags under his eyes.

It was the heartbreak that killed him.

“I’m gonna be famous one day.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m going to write something so great that I’ll be world famous. Tchaik got nothing on me.”

“Okay, slow down there, hot stuff.”

“Oh you think I’m hot?”

“Shut up. God. Why do I like you?”

“Aww you like me, that’s cute.”

“I’m going to break up with you.”

“Wait, no, please, I’m sorry!”

“I’ll forgive you if you write something for me.”

“For you?”

“Yeah. And it better be beautiful.”

The piece is so him.

You let the melody overwhelm you, drown you in sound. It soars and thunders, whispers and cries. It’s passion and fury and gentleness and love.

You sit in your seat alone, but you feel Baekhyun next to you. You feel him twirling you around darkened streets, feel his fingers in your hair. You hear his laugh and his see his smile. You feel his warmth around you, enveloping you and swallowing you up. You hear him telling you that he loves you.

For the first time in a long time, you remember a time before Baekhyun was sick, when you were so, so in love. When there were no doctor visits or sleepless nights or pretending not to hear the broken sobs in the hallway. When there was only music, a steady stream of melodies.

You don’t applaud when the audience erupts after the last note rings into the air. A sob escapes your throat, unheard. A blaze of tears run down your face.

You place your head in your hands, your body wracking with the cries you’ve held in for so long. Each one is overpowering, fortissimo emotions flooding out of you, rendering you helpless. The applause continues, shrouding your screams. It’s just so much, everything hitting you at once: the pain of seeing him suffer, the pain of missing him, the pain of feeling him again.

More than anything, you feel your love for him. It aches and grows, taking over your body as you cry out. The tidal wave is overwhelming, suppressed feelings making themselves known again. It’s too much, it’s all too much and yet not enough as your surroundings melt away and you hear nothing. Nothing but the blood pounding in your ears and a mantra repeated over and over again.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

“How much I love you, you my sun,

I cannot tell you that with words.

I can only lament to you my longing

and my love, my bliss!”

#baekhyun imagine #baekhyun angst #baekhyun scenario #exo imagine #exo angst #exo scenario #baekhyun #byun baekhyun #exo #lowkey this sucks but listening to the piece while you read makes it better

83 notes · View notes

malxplrs · 7 years

Text

Haunters

Summary: You work in a haunted house with the twins and jealousy ensues.

A/N: This is a pretty shitty first part I’m not even going to lie .I haven’t had as much motivation from being sick so please forgive its shittiness. I’ll make it up to you with better chapters soon, cross my heart, that is if you want this continued.So please let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions, my messages and asks are always open. Just don’t judge this one part on the rest of my writings haha. Love you all, you’re beautiful, thanks for reading! xoxo

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: None??!? Well, Cussing and Blood. It’s a haunted house.

The smell of sawdust filled my nostrils as I entered the old warehouse on Lynn Drive. I could hear the power tools working at cutting the last of the plywood needed to finish stabilizing the wall in the psych ward. I continued around the outside of the trail to the make-up room where I set my things on the countertop. Spinning one of the make-up chairs as I passed by, I stood inside the doorway to the costume room and poked my head inside.

“Gray? Are you in here?” I called out.

There was some commotion from the closet before Grayson emerged with costumes slung over his shoulder. He was wearing black basketball shorts that hung low on his hips and some old worn out sneakers. “Hey, y/n. You ready to clean this place up for opening night tomorrow?” He smiled.

“What do you think?” I laughed, motioning at my outfit. His hazel eyes swept over my body. He started at my old converse, and slowly lifted his gaze up my long, tan legs. He glanced over my paint riddled jean shorts and my old Motley Crue crop top. Grayson let his eyes linger on the bit of my exposed stomach embellished with a naval ring, before looking over my make-up free face, and messy bun.

“Absolutely not, you’re dressed way too fancy for this. I thought we agreed on old, worn clothes.” He laughed, giving me a playful wink before throwing the costumes on the floor. “You look like you’re going out for tea with the Queen.”

I snorted. “Yeah, if the Queen was completely blind and there was no one around to see me or take pictures.”

Grayson smiled before disappearing back into the closet. “So,” I started, plopping down on the old green couch. “Who all is here? And what do you guys need help with?”

Grayson threw more costumes out onto the floor before turning back to grab more. “Well, I’m on costume duty. I’m supposed to make sure all costumes are counted for and placed neatly on hangers for our new check out system. I think Ethan is helping Nick with the plywood, and Jocelyn is picking up trash. And for who all is here, I know for sure that Ethan, Nick, Jocelyn, Finley, and Brayden are. But I don’t know much. I haven’t been here long.” He finished throwing all the costumes out of the closet. I glanced at the huge pile as he sighed. “I guess you could help me, or find Jocelyn.”

“I think I’ll take a look around first. I’ll check back in soon though.”

Grayson nodded his head as he began sorting through the costumes. I walked back out into the warehouse and opened one of the trail doors. The junkyard room was dimly lit and smelled heavily of fresh paint. Careful not to touch anything, I walked the trail to the next few scenes before arriving in the roach hallway. I pushed the hidden door that let out to the middle of the two trails and took in the sight. Ethan was standing beside a sawhorse with his back to me and Nick was measuring a piece of plywood on the ground. Finley was sitting in the middle of the room with a bucket of fake blood next to her. She had her hands inside one of our dead body props, pulling out the removable intestines. I stepped through the doorway and let the door slam behind me.

All of them jumped and turned to face me.

“Jesus, you gave me a heart attack!” Finley exclaimed. She placed her blood soaked hand on her shirt over the place of her heart.

“That’ll be twenty dollars.” I said sticking my hand out.

Ethan beamed at me. “That joke never gets old! I’m glad you made it, y/n.” Finley rolled her eyes as Ethan made his way over to me. He was also wearing nothing but basketball shorts and worn sneakers. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground.

“Gross! Put me down, Dolan!” I shrieked. Ethan laughed as he hugged me tighter. “Seriously, you’re covered in sweat!”

“That’s called hard work.” He laughed.

“Don’t listen to him y/n. He dumped a bottle of water on himself about ten minutes ago. He hasn’t been here long enough to sweat.” Nick said, placing another piece of plywood on the sawhorse. Ethan set me back on my feet.

“Way to make me look like a man, Nick.” Ethan said, making his way back to the saw. He flipped the switch and began sawing through the parts Nick had marked for him. Sawdust flew everywhere as he continued to cut. Finley hunched over her blood bucket to protect it from the wood shavings.

Once Ethan was done cutting the plywood, he switched the saw off and set it down. Nick unplugged it and instructed Ethan to place it back in its respective bag. They both began picking up the pieces of plywood they needed for the wall and started towards the trail. Ethan waited for Nick to lead the way, and as he passed by me he very obviously checked me out. My cheeks went red and I turned my face away, but not before catching a wink he threw my way.

“Y/l/n, can I get some help?” Finley asked.

“What’s up?” I walked over to her and sat beside her, crossing my legs.

“Do you mind?” She motioned towards her cigarette pack lying beside her. I picked the pack up and pulled a single cigarette out and reached over to place it between her lips. I grabbed her lighter and ignited it. She leaned her head over to place the cigarette over the flame. “Thanks doll.” She smiled with the cigarette between her teeth. “I didn’t want to get blood all over the whole pack.”

Finley was one of my favorite people who worked the haunt. She didn’t take anyone’s bullshit and always made sure recognition was given to those that deserved it. She was very beautiful with long, blonde hair that she currently had French braided into pigtails, and bright blue eyes. Her skin was tan and she had a light dusting of freckles on her cheeks and over the bridge of her nose. Finley was married to Nick and they were both usually in charge of making sure everything was running smoothly. She exhaled smoke and turned to look at me.

“So, Ethan huh?”

Instantly my face was bright red. “I’m sorry?”

“You heard me, spill it.” Finley watched me while she dipped the intestines into her blood bucket.

“There’s nothing to spill.”

“You’re a damn liar. I saw the look he just gave you. I thought we were friends?” Finley fake pouted.

“I am your friend. And there’s nothing to spill. Ethan and I are friends, just like I’m friends with you and Grayson.”

Finley pulled the blood soaked intestines from the bucket and slapped them on the prop. She turned to me again, her blue eyes searching my face. Finally, she shrugged and began placing the guts inside the prop.

“Whatever you say, Turtle.”

I smiled at the nickname. Finley loved everything that had to do with turtles. Her grandfather had taught her everything he knew about them and always referred to them as majestic and wise. She grew up with a grand love for them as she did for her grandfather as well. After I had met Finley, and we became very close, she began to refer to me as Turtle. I never once took it as an insult. If anything it always made me feel closer to her.

“I don’t have much for everyone to do. Pretty much everything is done. You can help me with bloodying up some props, or help Grayson sort costumes.” Finley said, glancing over my shoulder. Ethan had returned to grab extra screws and nails for the plywood. He glanced over at us and smiled. I was grateful she changed the subject.

I smiled back at Ethan, then turned to face Finley. “I can help Gray out and once were finished, if you still need me, I can help with the rest of the props.” I suggested.

“Sounds great.” She ripped more guts from another prop out, tossing them in the bucket. “Ask him to make a list of costumes that need to be replaced, so I can send Jocelyn to pick them up once she’s done running trash.”

“Yes ma’am.” I stood from my place on the ground and began the walk back to the costume room.

Grayson had barely made a dent in the pile of costumes when I returned.

“Please tell me you’re here to help me.” He pouted.

“Nope, grabbing my things and heading out, just wanted to say bye.” I smirked.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” He groaned. “There’s no way I’m going to finish this by tonight.”

I laughed. “I’m just kidding. I’m here to help.”

I sat beside him and he nudged my shoulder with his. “You’re an asshole.”

Smiling, we both began sorting through all the costumes, throwing away the old tattered ones, and hanging up the ones that could be re-used. I kept up with the lists of the ones that would need a replacement, since no one could ever read Grayson’s sloppy boy writing. Even though his handwriting was shit, Grayson was still one of my favorite people. I had known him and Ethan since toddler age. Our moms were best friends throughout high school and college and continued their friendship through us kids. We all had a bond that no one could break.

Opening the door to the warehouse the next day, I could hear the chatter from all the actors that had already arrived. I made my way around them and headed for the make-up room. A few actors I recognized from the year before and a few new faces stood out. I smiled and greeted most of them as I passed by.

The make-up room was full of people, most in costume already. I searched the crowd for some familiar faces before spotting the twins and making my way to them. They were standing by the whiteboard that had the entire list of actors name on it, with the role they would be playing for the night, written beside it. I walked up behind them and searched the list.

“Looks like I’ll be taking over the hospital scene again this year.” Both boys turned and smiled at me.

“You’re not the only one in the hospital this year.” Grayson replied. I looked up at the list again and found their names close to mine.

“I stand corrected. Looks like Ethan is leading lady.” Grayson laughed and Ethan rolled his eyes. Beside my name ‘padded cell patient’ was written. Ethan’s name had ‘head nurse’ and Grayson’s had ‘distraction/victim’.

“I’m just happy to not be a clown again this year.” Ethan said.

“I’m pretty excited to see y/n in action. Last year we were both stuck in the clown maze and didn’t get a chance to see you perform. You must be extremely creepy to continuously win actor of the night every night.” Grayson said.

“I’m just good at what I do.” I shrugged.

“Whatever. I’ll be taking that title from you. So don’t expect hearing your name tonight at the meeting.” Ethan smiled.

A few hours later and we were all in place in our respective scenes. There were only a few minutes left till the haunt opened and we were going through our last minute run through. I squeezed into the “boo hole” which was actually just an actor pocket, to watch Ethan in action. He was the first person you would see upon entering the hospital scene. From this actor pocket, you could actually watch anyone from any scene within the hospital; it also allowed you to enter multiple rooms without interacting with the patrons.

I stepped up to the door to Ethan’s room and watched through the peephole. He was standing behind the desk holding a clipboard. The door to his room opened as Finley and Nick walked in. Ethan burst into action welcoming them to the room. He threw his clipboard across the room and ran right up to Finley and got in her face. He said something inaudible and Finley looked uncomfortable as Nick laughed. They continued through his room, as Ethan stayed in character giving them a hundred and ten percent. As soon as they crossed the threshold into the next room, Ethan made his way to the door I was looking through. I moved out of his way as he opened the door.

“Were you watching me?” He smirked.

“I have to check out the competition don’t I?” I answered him, watching through the bars of the next room as Grayson spewed blood from his mouth and dropped to the floor convulsing. As they were focused on him, another actor was able to sneak up on them and jump scare them. Finley took off down the hall, making her way to my room.

“Now watch how a real professional does things.” I laughed as Ethan crossed his arms. I squeezed through the opening in the wall and back into my room. In the top corner above the exit door to my scene was a strobe light. I stood underneath it as I let my eyes adjust to the flashing. The entrance door opened and Nick entered before Finley. I watched them as they wearily walked in, looking around the room for me.

“You better be in here Turtle.” Finley yelled out. I turned away from them and dropped back into a back bend. Quickly, I crawled across the floor backwards before stopping at her feet. I popped back up and whispered in Finley’s ear disturbing things I had picked up from little kids in horror movies. As she began to shy away from me, I stood up straight and threw my head back and screamed a blood curdling scream. Both Nick and Finley made their way to the exit as quickly as they could, but before they reached the door, I took off running full speed and slammed my entire body into the wall beside them.

“You’re so fucking creepy.” Nick commented as they walked out. “Keep it up.”

I picked myself up off the floor and turned to see Grayson and Ethan watching me. Grayson slow clapped as Ethan raised an eyebrow.

“I see.” Was all he said before returning to his scene.

“Good job.” Grayson hugged me. “No wonder you won every night. Let’s just hope Ethan doesn’t murder someone to top your act.” He laughed.

Before I could respond, the animatronic in the grave yard went off signaling a group of patrons were coming. Grayson ran back to his place and I returned to the door of Ethan’s room. I always liked watching the groups coming through so that I could get a good feel of who was already terrified. It made it easier to find your target. The door opened and another actor walked in.

“False alarm, sorry E. I accidentally set off Coffin Dave.” The kid said. I opened the door to Ethan’s room as the kid returned to the graveyard.

“Get used to that.” I told Ethan, sitting on his desk.

“False alarms?”

“Yeah, they happen a lot in graveyard, it’s usually where they put the newer kids, and most of them don’t know where the censors for their animatronics are. The sure fire way of knowing if there’s a group is hearing their victim scream.”

“Makes sense.” Ethan replied. He looked over at me and ran his hand through his hair. Neither of us said a word as we listened to Coffin Dave go off again.

The door to his room opened and Ethan turned back. Suddenly, he exploded into character and caught me off guard. I hadn’t heard the graveyard victim scream, and my back was to the door. Patrons had entered the room and I was stuck here until they left. Trying to think of what to do, improvisation being a main skill, I began mumbling things to myself about dismantling a body. I tangled my hands in my hair and rocked back and forth before laughing maniacally.

Suddenly, Ethan was in my face. “I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN YOUR CELL!” Ethan screamed at me. I went to get up but Ethan’s hand closed around my throat. Panicked, I grabbed his fore arm and tried to pull him off. His grip loosened and he pulled me off the desk and towards him. “Just go with it.” He whispered before pushing me up against the wall. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PATIENTS WHO DON’T LISTEN?!” He brought his face close to mine. I could feel my whole body beginning to tingle. I had never seen Ethan like this, and I kind of like it.

“ANSWER ME!” His breath fanned across my face as he yelled.

“The Doctor will see me now.” I giggled as he ‘threw’ me to the hidden door. The patrons left his room and I raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you but it’s the first thing I thought of and-“

“Hey you have to do what you have to do, no biggie.” I said rushing back to my room yelling for Brayden.

Brayden met me in my room just before the patrons entered. I filled him in briefly on what happened in Ethan’s room and he instructed me to sit on the ground and grab his fore arm and put all my weight on it like I was trying to pull him down. “Trust me” he whispered. He was our new doctor this year.

I did as I was told and the door to my room opened. Brayden grabbed a fistful of my hair and began to drag me across the room. Thankfully, my grip on his fore arm made it more so that he was dragging me by hand than hair. I began to scream loudly and writhe as much as I could.

Brayden grunted and fought with me to make it seem more authentic. He threw me into the corner and started up a hand held power tool. Careful not to actually touch me with it, though it wouldn’t have done anything anyways being a prop, he pretended to drill into my head as I screamed then slouched over playing dead. Brayden turned to the group.

“WHO’S NEXT!” He yelled running towards them. They all shrieked and began running to the exit.

For the next couple of hours, we all continued to do our own routines and get our scares. I made up an imaginary friend to play with in my room, and it was completely creeping people out. Since it was a pretty slow night, as most opening nights are, we all took turns debuting in other actors scenes. My favorite being Ethan’s, in hopes of catching the same feeling from earlier.

Grayson, Ethan and I were all sat at Ethan’s desk telling jokes and laughing about the best scares of our night so far. I had my legs stretched over Grayson’s lap and his hand was resting on my thigh, absentmindedly his thumb stroked small circles over my scrub pants. Ethan had made a face at the whole display, one he didn’t think I would notice. It consisted mostly of jealousy, and a little of longing.

I was pretty confused by the look all night, considering we were all close friends. Why would he be jealous, I sat like that with Gray all the time. Sometimes I even sat that way with Ethan, as he would usually do the same routine with his thumb. As I was lost in thought, Finley busted into the room at a quick pace.

“LAST GROUP EVERYONE, GIVE IT YOUR ALL!” She yelled making her way through the trail. Grayson gently moved my legs off of him as he stood.

“I need to grab some more blood for my last spew of the night.”

“Ew.”

“Shut up, you think it’s cool.” He smiled.

“I don’t know where you got that idea, but I definitely don’t think that. Although, it is amusing that it’s stained your teeth a pretty pink.” Grayson blushed under his make-up.

“It comes off when I brush my teeth.” He tried shrugging nonchalantly.

“Boo. I think it’s hilarious.” I teased.

“You’re the worst.” He smirked, leaving the room.

“The best of the worst!” I called after him.

Ethan watched me. His brows were furrowed together like he was deep in thought.

“You okay E?”

“Yeah,” silence. And then, “so are you and Grayson going to get married already or what?”

I choked on my spit. “Excuse me?”

“You two are always flirting. It’s obvious you like each other. Why not say the ‘I Do’s’ and make out already?” He scoffed.

My eyes were wide. “We’re not flirting Ethan, we’re just friends, like me and you.”

“Seemed a little more ‘friendly’ than usual tonight, all hugged up on my desk and everything.”

“Where is this coming from? Are you sure you’re okay? Are you hydrated? Cause it’s pretty hot in here and I don’t know if that’s what’s causing this mood swing but I’m not going to sit her and let you mock me like that. Especially not Grayson when he’s not here to defend himself.” Coffin Dave went off in the graveyard.

Ethan glanced towards the door. “I’m fine. Completely fine. You two on the other hand.”

“Us two what? Go ahead, say what you really want too.” My blood was boiling at this temper tantrum that he was throwing. He had to be dehydrated or hallucinating if he thought Gray and I were flirting.

Ethan nervously glanced back at the door again, expecting it to open any second. I couldn��t care any less, now angry that I had to deal with this. All night he had been fine, normal Ethan, funny Ethan. All that disappeared twenty minutes ago when I sat with Gray on the desk.

“Let’s hear it Ethan. Tell me what you really think.” I said again, we both heard the graveyard victim scream.

Ethan turned and faced me. Visibly he took a deep breath. “I’m just jealous, okay. I’m jealous how he can sit with you like that and not care.”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about? I sit with you like that too!”

“But it’s different.” Another glance at the door.

“Enlighten me, how?”

“It just is.”

“Ethan!”

“BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” He shouted as the door opened. My jaw dropped.

#Ethan Dolan #Grayson Dolan #Ethan and Grayson Dolan #Ethan and Grayson #Ethan Dolan Smut #Grayson Dolan Smut #Ethan Dolan Imagine #grayson dolan imagine #Ethan Grant Dolan #Grayson Bailey Dolan #Dolan Twins #Dolan Twins Fandom #First Chapter #Grayson and Ethan Fic #Grayson Fic #Ethan Fic

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