#Apollo x ariadne

[suzieloveships]

One day I'm going to write a fic like this. But today all I can offer is a meme

[dootznbootz]

I saw this and immediately thought of Dionysus. The girl on the left is Ariadne and the girl on the right is Apollo or Hermes minding their own gd business.

[lesbianbanana]

Screaming while thinking about how Dionysus got introduced to Olympus.

Beginning his life (if you don't count the Orphic myths) he's handed to Hermes who's constantly trying to find a babysitter for him while Hera is hunting him down. Eventually he goes to live with Rhea for a bit and then trains with Chiron before going out and exploring and stuff.

The Gigantomachy. Dionysus is either on the verge of ascending to godhood of a VERY VERY new god when Zeus announces it's time to go fight great-grandma's new batch of kids. Heracles is still kicking during this time, and Heracles is also sometimes there when Dionysus goes down to the Underworld to get his mother and ascend to Olympus, so they're around the same age-ish. So yeah, great introduction to the fam.

Then. The Trojan War. The Trojan War would only be maybe a decade and a half later, really. Considering Heracles is in the Gigantomachy, and in that one myth he accidentally kills (?) Chiron, Achilles is just there in the background. There's also something about him fistfighting the brother of Tyndareus, the (adoptive) father of Helen. Dionysus isn't mentioned in the Iliad (I don't think) probably because he and his new wife Ariadne are hiding under their blankets in absolute horror of Olympus. Imagine Dionysus chatting with Apollo or Poseidon after the Gigantomachy and then watching them absolutely go murderous during the Trojan War. Dionysus is just sitting there in the background while Athena drags Ares and Aphrodite and Hera whoops Artemis' ass.

And then??? Everyone just goes back to being chill again??? Apollo is no longer murdering absolutely everyone but instead defending his bestie Orestes in court??? Athena isn't being a crazy bloodthirsty madwoman and has taken up a new gig as a judge??? Dionysus turns to Hermes and is like "is this normal??!3?$$@" and Hermes just sighs really loudly and nods.

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 2:

Preview:

Hera's statement for a divorce shakes things completely on the unholy mountain. Hermes has a promise to keep, while Aphrodite proves to be a helpless drama queen. Dionysos is okay and still partying.

----------

Scene 1: (Hermes and Apollo)

Hermes' confessional:

I had in mind to take Apollo to a strip club. I interrupted his orgy with the nine Muses so I have to make it up to him. I know, I love him too much!

Apollo: What is the surprise you have been talking about?

Hermes: Get dressed tonight! I have something very special for you!

Apollo: What is it! I'm dying to know! Please!

Apollo's confessional:

I love surprises but on the other hand I hate them. I don't like waiting! Exhilaration kills me!

Hermes: Dress slutty, that's all I'm saying!

Apollo: Oh.....

--------------

Scene 2: (Hera and Zeus)

Zeus confessional:

I'm still shaken by her behavior. I can't believe her! All that is for me to acquire better sex knowledge to please her even more in bed! Why can't she see that? Ungrateful wife!

Zeus: Are you serious about the divorce thing?

Hera: Absolutely! And don't try to change my mind!

Zeus: I'll promise I'll change!

Hera: LIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! YOU FUCKING LIAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! (Slams the table)

Hera's confessional:

Of course I'm sick amd tired of his behavior! The goddess of marriage can't stand being cheated on! But don't worry guys, I won't divorce him. I want him to come crawling back to me, and of course who wants to lose the title of "Queen of Heavens?"

Hera: It's final!

Zeus: Think about it again! You won't find another man as gorgeous as me!

Hera: That's the spirit! Someone who is not you!

______________

Scene 3: (Aphrodite and Ares spending some time in Ares' private pool in Thrace)

Aphrodite's confessional:

Thrace is a nice place! There's sea, sun, and naked Ares!

Ares: Do you like it babe?

Aphrodite: You know I love being spoilt in every way!

Ares: My beautiful woman!

(Kiss scene)

Ares confessional:

Spending time with this woman is amazing! I just love her! And of course I like getting naughty with her! (winks at camera)

(Ares lifting Aphrodite)

Aphrodite: Ares I don't wanna get wet!

Ares: You'll get wet anyway babe! Just enjoy it! (Throws her in the pool)

Aphrodite: MY DIAMOND EARRING!

Ares: What about it?

Aphrodite: I lost it! In the pool! (starts crying)

Ares: Aphrodite, there's people that are dying!

Aphrodite: It costs 75000$!

Aphrodite's confessional: (crying)

Those were the earrings Ares gifted me on our anniversary! We were celebrating the 678 time we had sex together!

Ares: You lost that earring!

Aphrodite cries aggressively.

_____________

Scene 4: (Hestia and Demeter)

(Both shaking their salads and proceed eating them)

Demeter: So did you hear about Hera's divorce?

Hestia: I did, and I don't feel surprised anymore!

Demeter death glares at Hestia

Demeter's confessional:

Did she just say that Hera deserves it? She is our sister! Such a backstabber!

Hestia:I didn't say it serves her right, I meant him!

Demeter: That wasn't very well-put to me!

Hestia: But I explained it!

Demeter: Unacceptable!

Hestia's confessional:

I don't wanna create drama around there, but Demeter's behavior is just not it!

____________

Scene 5: (Hades and Persephone in the Underworld)

Persephone: You were a rapist, you don't deserve Elysium! To the Tartarus!

Minoas looking at Hades

Hades: Whatever you say, your Honour!

Persephone: Did you just call me your "Honour"?

Hades: Yes Majesty!

Persephone: Oh my god Hades! Not there! You turn me on!

Minoas: Excuse me bro!

Hades death glares at him

Persephone: You excuse?

Hades: And I'm not your bro!

Hades' confessional:

This woman is a complete turn-on! I wanna do bad things to her!

Persephone's confessional:

Hades is a total sex slave and he likes it! I like willing men! I like the role play and he just understands the assignment!

______________

Scene 6: (Poseidon and Amphitrite)

Poseidon: I'm thinking about Triton's wish!

Amphitrite: Let lose for once honey! It's not that bad!

Poseidon: I think I'll just do so!

Poseidon's confessional:

Triton is at this age that boys think about one thing. And he asked me to be his mentor. I made up something to tell Amphitrite, because if she finds out that Triton wants to be a pornstar then the whole humanity will drown!

Triton: Dad! What do you think about what I told you earlier?

Amphitrite: We think it's okay!

Triton: YOU TOLD MUM?

Triton: AND SHE AGREED?

Amphitrite: I think I miss something?

Poseidon: Yes Triton! I'll buy you a kitty cat!

Triton's confessional:

Thanks goodness he found an excuse! My career is gonna take off! Mum will understand my abilities and will finally accept it!

____________

Scene 7: ( Apollo and Hermes at the strip club)

Apollo: Is this your surprise?

Hermes: I felt bad for interrupting your fun the other day!

Apollo: Let's get wasted!

Dionysos: Ohhhhhhhh! My bros are here!

Apollo: Wow! It's amazing!

Apollo's confessional:

What is better than 9 Muses? A whole fucking strip club!

Apollo: Shake that ass babe!

Hermes: Booty jiggling!

Dionysus: Best night ever!

Hermes' confessional:

I'm glad he liked it! But I have lost him for 2 hours straight! What do I do now?

____________

Scene 8: (Artemis and Athena)

Artemis: You wanna join today's hunt?

Athena: I'd love to but I am needed in Athens.

Artemis' confessional:

I love my sister but her ignoring me is outta my range of liking!

Artemis: So you don't wanna spend time with me?

Athena: I didn't say that!

Artemis: Can't you cancel it?

Athena: No! They're my devotees!

Artemis: Family is always first!

Athena: I didn't say otherwise!

Artemis: Ares might wanna add something to this!

Athena's confessional:

She plays a game she will surely lose! What a bitch!

Athena: You use my own spells against me Potter?

Artemis: Maybe Ares is right! You are so above anyone that it has blinded you!

Athena: I TOLD YOU I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO VERY POLITELY!

Artemis: You know what? JUST LEAVE! You are the least interesting person in this family afterall!

Athena's confessional:

That hurt and I don't have a big idea about myself! I just have a little appreciation for everyone who's dumb!

Artemis' confessional:

Such a bitch! She can't get away with everything!

________________

AND THAT'S EPISODE 2!

What do you think so far? Leave a comment below!

IT MUST REALLY BE A REALITY SHOW!

Till episode 3!✌️

[withlovefromolympus]

“one fell first but the other fell harder” for ur ships pls!

sure!! I’m not gonna lie, I hope I’ve interpreted your ask correctly. :)

Dionysus fell first on Naxos, and you know what? He might’ve fallen harder too. Not that Ariadne doesn’t love him — she does! — he’s just that big of a simp for her.

Hera secretly fell first and then made it known after Zeus was pining for her, and yeah he fell harder

Poseidon fell first. Neither he or Amphitrite “fell harder.” Not sure how to elaborate but it just feels right

Eros fell first, Psyche fell harder. Their story is literally the definition of this(??)

Artemis fell for Athena — everyone told her Athena was too intimidatingly intelligent / uptight to fall in love with, but she did it anyways. Athena opened up and fell harder.

Aphrodite and Ares equally fell first and with the same intensity. Source? Trust me bro.

Ares fell first but was uncharacteristically too shy to say anything / awkward about it, but Apollo caught on and fell harder.

Heph and Aphrodite…I think they just really surprised each other. Her lowkey falling for him first wasn’t on either of their 21st century predictions bingo cards, and his ability to dote on her so damn much shocked him as much as it did her.

After the whole Adonis thing, Persephone and Aphrodite were like “truce? truce.” And Persephone realized Aphrodite was just sooo pretty and couldn’t hate her, and then Aphrodite was like “you know what? she’s hot too” and fell harder.

Hecate fell for Demeter first, seeing her fiery passion to find her daughter, and after the whole Persephone ordeal, Demeter could focus on having a relationship and fell harder

I don’t know abt the lore behind Eos and Astraios! But. I imagine he fell in love with the colors of dawn and would stay up to watch them rise even after a long night shift being a Titan of stars?? And he was like “I gotta meet who’s behind this!” and boom. He was so charming and genuinely sweet that she fell harder.

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

Bio: Hello. I am dead inside but strive to bring joy to others. Everyone is welcome in my public ask box, just don’t be weird. DMs are welcome but reserved for other adults. I’m going to block porn.

— Pegs

Fiction Masterlist:

Please enjoy, my babies. Get in touch for requests or to be added/removed on a particular tag list. If a content warning is missing, please tell me kindly in the comments. Thank you!

The Garden of Innocence — Dionysus x Ariadne | M | angst | love triangle

Fig Tree

Aphrodite

Campfire

Theseus Leaves

The Fountain

Red Cloak

The Water Nymph — Ares x Aphrodite | M | one shot | mutual pining

Oh, My Sunlight — Patroclus x Achilles | M | angst | violence | soulmates | one shot

Patroclus POV

Achilles POV

Wound — Patroclus x Achilles | M | one-shot | bandaging | blood | hurt/comfort

Solider On, Achilles — Trojan War AU | E | angst | violence | 🌶️ | Captive!Patroclus

Read here on AO3

Based on this post by request

Chapter 1

[crown-ov-horns]

I recently found out people ship Cassandra with Apollo.

My initial reaction was...

Just tan their hides. You know what happened to her because the the bastard, don't you?..

Then, I was overwhelmed by morbid curiosity, and checked AO3. People are writing rape fics about them. ...Why?..

Could I ever see Cassandra x Apollo?.. I don't know, maybe. But, definitely not the nonsense I mentioned. Dubcon at most. I guess, he might somehow coerce her into sleeping with him, and later rescue her from the fall of Troy, because she's pregnant with his child, or something (Zeus would be pissed, I'm fine with that).

Sounds like an intriguing story, with a lot of morally questionable elements. I can imagine Apollo confiding in Artemis, wondering why his wife is so upset. She'd just go "are you serious rn?.. -_-".

...What, you're surprised I'm among those I wish to hide with a broom? Don't be. It happens quite often, actually.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I know we're all focused on Satyr/Faun König but that bull comment... I'm quite partial to minotaur's and whats better than a darling who isn't from the area. Oh yes she's innocent of the crimes against König because she was not raised there.

Some foreign little creature just running blind in a maze trying to see where there might be a way out. It's been days after all and the screaming has gotten quieter and she wonders if she's the last one left alive. He takes his time eating his meals... this can be stretched out for such a long time as she hides herself in a dead end just a short rest... the darling is so tired unaware of the horrifyingly silent steps moving closer to her little haven. It's just her left now.

@kit-williams I've wanted to write for Minotaur!König for ages!

Minotaur!König x Ariadne!Reader Word count: 5 k oneshot Tags/warnings: Sexual tension, threats of violence and rape, implied cannibalism, power imbalance, moral ambiguity. Predator/prey dynamic, Beauty and the Beast elements, Ancient Greek religion & lore. 18+ MDNI A/N: The Minotaur in this story is not an actual hybrid. Reader is Hecate’s initiate. Merry Christmas y'all! <3

EDIT: PART 2 HERE

The screams are the worst part.

They echo through the Labyrinth while you wait and wait and wait.

Even the very stones seem to cry and wail as you place your hope on Theseus who descended to this hell along with you and the human cattle. Seven young men and seven unwed women, meant to satisfy a beast...

And judging by the screams alone, it sounds like the monster is satisfied. It sounds like it's having a ball.

Fourteen lives have been lost, their blood swallowed by the earth as if Hades himself is drinking the crimson of Athenian youth in His feast. The flesh is the beast’s to devour: an underworld demon born of tainted lust.

Half bull, half man, you always thought the stories were only tales told by the fire to scare children. Turns out that the stories, for once, are true. There's something even worse in this maze, something cursed and foul... Hecate herself would shiver if She were here, in the womb of the earth, witnessing what you’re witnessing now.

You don’t actually see the Bull of Crete cut or hack or slash anyone, and you can only imagine what the monster does to the bloody, gutted corpses of the young. The only thing you see are the hollow, dark walls carved out of soil, sand, and clay, the intestine-like route dug deep into the earth. And you don't have to see the massacre: the screams tell you enough. The silence that follows betrays even more.

Your only light is flickering, waning: the candle will hardly last an hour. If the hero from Athens won’t arrive soon, you will have to leave this place. 

And oh, how you want to leave… You were a fool to follow him here. Blinded by love and hope, you thought Theseus of Athens would be your way out of Crete, but it’s clear that the only thing the young hero is capable of loving is fame. The only time his eyes turned to yours was when you said you might be able to help him with a small bundle of yarn.

Red as the setting sun or spilling blood, the thin woollen string is your only way out now. It’s ironic how a heap of twine is the only thing that can help you out of this hellhole, but the Fates always did possess a cruel sense of humour. Your silly daydreams might’ve cost your life, and even if you’re sworn to the dark goddess, you would rather die anywhere but here. In the darkness, all alone, with nothing but eyeless worms to keep company to your decaying bones.

The sudden draft from the outside world is warm but threatens to blow out your candle. It’s a sign from Apollo: if you don’t leave now, you’re dead. Theseus has to manage without you because you’re not dying in this underworld prison because of some man’s stupid lust for fame.

There's only deafening silence in the maze as you scurry up, taking support from the wall as your sight darkens for a moment. You rose too soon: you can’t even remember the last time you ate. And it appears that even the sun god has abandoned you because there's a faint echo of steps in the tunnel, and they don’t belong to a man. They’re too thick, unduly heavy, and it’s not a pair of sandals that are thumping against the soil.

So, Theseus is dead...

So much for the legend, the myth, the demigod.

Heart thumping in your chest and in the hollow of your throat, it threatens to drown the sound of approaching footsteps. They’re all dead, the people who descended here with you. The only thing you are right now is prey. You're being hunted; whether the Minotaur knows you're here or not, you know you're being hunted. You can feel it in your gut.

You cover the candle with one hand, hoping that the flickering light doesn’t reach around the bend. The falling thump of the footsteps stops, and you still your breath, hoping that the beast would turn around and search the other way.

You hear it sniffing behind the wall. It's trying to catch your scent in the air, the smell of dread and terror, sweat so thick it must reach his nostrils and make them flare with lust. Your heart is thundering in your chest, and the tunnel is so quiet that that you’re certain the creature will hear that, too. (Your heart always betrays you.)

And your luck is cursed.

The beast shifts. 

You can’t see him yet, but you can hear it: the scraping sound underneath his feet as he aligns himself anew, choosing the path that leads straight down to you.

“Hecate save me,” you whisper into the air that seems to grow denser as he approaches, loud thumps of feet now accompanied by metal grating against clay. 

“Hear me, flame-bearing guide... Darkness, protect me…”

He’s dragging bronze against the wall, announcing that he’s carrying a weapon with him, the strength of a bull apparently not satisfying enough if he wants to break your bones with metal.

Don’t blow out the candle... 

If you blow it out, you’ll die.

It’s a clear message, a knowing voice in your head that says it. It’s not young, it’s not old: just knowing. Alert. Wise beyond ages. 

So you still your breath and wait.

Shadows fill the curve of the tunnel just before he emerges: thick like thunder, a darkness so deep that even the name of the twilight goddess escapes your tongue. 

And he’s big. Bigger than the bulls you used to dance with, bigger than kings, or heroes, bigger than even Theseus, the man you thought was a myth walking. His head is enormous, bigger than the rest of him, awkward and rough like it’s not quite part of him even though he’s supposed to be half ox. 

The gigantic, horned figure stops when it sees you. Vast shoulders tense; the fat, double-edged sword falls to his side when he settles to loom between you and your only way to escape this place. You’re oddly thankful that the horrible screeching stopped, but then you notice that his blade is drenched in blood: actually, his torso, thighs, even the buckskin loincloth – the only garment this monster has chosen to wear – is spattered with red dots. 

The bronze tip drips with crimson, and the earth drinks it all. Hades is never satisfied: this beast is never full. Everyone who was sent down here is dead: everyone else has met their doom except you. You wonder if your mother would cry if she heard her only daughter died because she fell in love with a fool.

“I killed your hero,” the walls of hell boom. 

His voice is thick like tar, dark and foul like it’s the God of Earth himself speaking.

The flame in your hand quivers from fear, and you slowly remove your palm, the tiny candle illuminating the beast with warm homely yellow, making the prominent muscles of his chest even bigger. 

He’s carved like the statues in Athens, only, this giant is far hairier than the painted marble heroes of the city. The hair on his chest is thick and wild; it shoots down his abdomen and disappears underneath the loincloth, spreads over his inner thighs, even covers his shins in dark mats. He looks like a wild man, a beast indeed: sweaty, filthy and thick. But you never knew a beast like him could talk…

“A coward, that one,” he snarls, the voice reverberating oddly like it’s a human man speaking from under a wooden mask or inside a clay jug.

And you believe every word he says.

Theseus was strong and able-bodied, but he had built his strength just to show it off. This man’s body speaks of pure, ripe survival.

A hulking shadow with shoulders that barely fit the tunnels of the Labyrinth, with palms nearly twice the size of yours, he’s the myth walking instead of the hero whose blood now adorns that dull bronze blade. The Minotaur who survived his father’s wrath, his mother’s absence, these bleak surroundings, and all the heroes sent down to get his head… His weapon isn’t even sharp anymore, and still, he managed to cut through the sacrificial humans like butter. And what a horrific death it must’ve been to be hacked to pieces by a dull blade.

Is it evil of you to hope that the death of your “hero” wasn’t a quick one…?

Theseus was a fool and a coward, rotten to the core, but you saw all of that too late. He never cared about the human sacrifices or the king’s wrath; he never cared about digging into Pasiphae’s sorrow. He only cared about getting his face depicted on a pot or having his deeds played out in amphitheatres, his name uttered in song, accompanied by harp and flute.

“I know.”  

Your voice gets sucked into the earth: it doesn’t echo from the walls like his. It’s thin, damp, and frail, just like everything else meant to walk under the sun instead of stand buried under the earth.

But the beast before you tilts its head a little. It’s curious. 

Why would you say that? 

Why don’t you cry from hearing the news...? Why don’t you howl out your hero’s name and beg the gods to heed your grief? Why don’t you run away from a monster?

The candlelight is puny and weak, but it’s bright enough to bring out the eyes of an animal. You draw breath in the dampness of the earth when you finally see it: the bull’s head is devoid of eyes, and yet, the beast still has them. Blue as the summer sky, stern as the death grip of winter just before spring.

There’s nothing but ripped shreds of skin where the eyes should be, and instead of looking at you from the sides, they’re greeting you from the front. The horns are sturdy, but otherwise, the colossal head is a bit skewed... Thick patches of fur sticking out as if it was years and years old, and then – you realize it’s not his head; it’s only an illusion. 

There’s a man under there. A full, grown man who’s made himself a terrible helmet out of a bull’s carcass. 

“You’re a man,” you say out loud, earning yourself another shift of the colossal head.

“...What?”

The muffled echo confirms it: he’s speaking from inside the bull, moving only slightly to get a better look at you. 

“You’re not a monster. You’re just a man.”

His eyes are wild but intelligent; they pierce you from inside the inanimate shield. The large chest heaves, his ribs flare like sails as he draws air through what must be the foul stench of a long-dead animal.

He takes a step, and you shrink, almost dropping your candle and the roll of red yarn.

“You think talking will save you, female?”

He speaks like a man, walks like a man, but his moves are an animal’s. Shoulders slightly hunched like he’s a bull about to attack, you recognize the way his muscles quiver from the times when you used to do bull leaping. You don’t dance with Rhea’s oxen anymore: your tasks at Hecate’s temple are more suitable and less wild for a maiden your age. Back when you were younger and more agile, you used to jump from the back of one bull to the next, clouds of dust swirling around you as you showed your prowess to the priests.

But you can’t charm this ox by dancing. This one can’t be tricked or fooled: he will pierce you with those horns or his brazen sword if you take even a step.

“I can get you out of here,” you wet your lips, noticing that the blue eyes shoot straight to your mouth when you do that. “I know the way out.”

“What makes you think I want out,” he says, so tight and tense that you fear he’s either about to leap at your throat or plunge his sword into your chest.

And you should be concerned about your own safety, not about his sensibilities – if he even has such things – but hearing this beast man’s reply is like drinking bile. 

Why would anyone want to stay here?

You don’t know if he eats human flesh; you don’t know if he had to in order to survive. Everyone knows why his father threw him down here, but no one knows he’s not half the things the people above say he is. And if half of it isn’t true, what other lies have been told about the Minotaur? 

Even most prisoners see the sun, yet this man has been deprived of that, too. He’s been robbed of mother’s love, of father’s mercy, of friends and foes, of mentors and guides. He’s been robbed of life, of stars, of fires and summer skies, of women’s giggles, of fistfights with fellow men. Of songs and plays, of festivals and games, of bull dances, and maidens that leap…

“Have you ever been up there…? On the surface?”

You turn your voice into soft water on pebbles, a soothing pour of persuasion and goodwill. His pecs contract, strong abs under thin hair and body fat bunch like you’re about to hit him there. You take a step, and now it’s his turn to shun away. It’s only half an inch, but he actually moves away from you. 

“I can take you there,” you offer gently. “Have you ever seen the sun…?”

It’s like talking to a starved predator, trying to entice them to follow you with a fresh steak in hand, hoping that the fanged mouth won’t take more than was promised if it decides to accept the offering.

And the beast accepts. 

“As a boy,” he grunts, a tad more softly. 

Those eyes are fixed on you, reminding you of horses when they’re slightly afraid. The glint of white and blue behind the carcass is fiercely alive, quite unlike the hollow, disinterested stare of the Athenian hero who was only interested in himself.

But this beast is interested. Oh, the Bull Man of Crete is wildly, fiercely curious about you. 

“You’ll take me to the sun,” he repeats, an affirmation rather than a question.

“Yes. To the surface. I promise.”

He moves. Like an animal who learned long ago to drive others into the corner so that he wouldn’t get forced there himself, he’s primal, sensual in the way that oracles in a trance are sensual.

Approaching you in silence that’s almost eerie, the hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end by the time he’s only an arm’s length away. Why announce his coming earlier if he can move so quietly?

“You’ll lead me to my father.” 

His gaze bores into you, and not even the warm draft from the tunnels can prevent you from shivering. He’s distrustful, and it’s no wonder. It must be odd that some girl with a candle and a bundle of yarn is suddenly waiting for him around the bend, and doesn’t even flee. He’s a behemoth, but he’s not stupid. A stupid man would not have been able to survive, let alone thrive in this place.

And why should he trust you? Who is he supposed to trust in this maze when every person he has seen has either run away from him or tried to kill him? His father will slaughter him if he ever escapes the Labyrinth, so what else is a priestess in his kingdom but a squealing mouse, trying to feed him lies and then guide him to the surface and into a forest of spears? 

“No,” you shake your head slowly. “No, I promise I know the way. There will be no soldiers–”

You shut your mouth just before a huge palm closes around your throat. 

Gods, but he moves fast when he wants to… 

The candle and the yarn drop the instant his hand seizes your neck, strong fingers nearly meeting at the back as he squeezes your windpipe ever so slowly.

And he’s so close now. The carcass reeks of death, but the man underneath stinks of plain human sweat. His musk is a peculiar mix of blood, earth and soil, something both stale and invigorating, the thin sheen of sweat and dirt covering his muscles making him look like a common builder. It’s strange that the bull’s head hasn’t yet decayed in this place, that the man doesn’t reek of bodies and bones that must be scattered around like debris further down the tunnels. 

Another thing that’s strange is that he doesn’t seem to want to simply silence you.

He also wants to touch you.

A wide thumb strokes the underside of your jaw as he studies you. It slides down the column of your throat, the blue eyes gleaming with fascination when you swallow against him.

He drinks in the sight of you: the lips that part with fear, the frail collarbones that breathe against the side of his palm. The promising crevice between your breasts, the enticing softness of your teats. 

You can hear his breath grow heavy under ox skin and bone, the rugged, vicious helmet he has chosen to wear. What lies under, you can only imagine, wherein he has little left to the imagination when taking in the curve of your breasts, your nipples rising to peaks under the thin white linen only temple virgins use. 

Seeing your reaction to his touch makes him growl -- he actually growls like an animal, a deep, low rumble of approval rising up his throat when he sees how different your body is from his. How supple and cushy it is, soft and plump like a peach, covered only barely as if to tease a best like him. You wonder if he ever took pleasure in the maidens sent here by the king… If he ever thrust the sword between his legs into their weak bodies before giving them the mercy of his actual blade. Would he even know what to do with a woman, having lived here for so long?

“Please,” you whisper, bringing his eyes back to yours, the ice in them now liquid sapphire of pure want. 

Gods… You need to bring his attention back to your offer of help before he sees it more compelling to just stay here and play with his new, plump little mouse. Virgin or not, you wouldn’t survive a mating with this man. 

“I swear on Hecate’s torch that it’s not a trap. You have my word: I’m a priestess soon to be.”

He’s entranced. Hypnotized by your lips. You lick them to confirm your fears true: the man grunts with pleasure, out of instinct, absentmindedly like an animal who reacts to the sight of a fat, meaty bone. 

Oh, he might not know what to do with a woman… But he would try his best to find out. 

“Priestess…?” He rasps.

“It’s a holy woman,” you explain. “I serve the Goddess of the Crossroads.”

He snorts, either because he’s not impressed or because he’s downright amused by your vocation. The eyes, warmer, more demanding now, are far from the eyes of a bewildered beast.

“Little female of the crossroads... You will take me to the king. And then, I will kill him.”

He puts weight into his words, tries to make you understand. 

He wants you to guide him to his father. 

To the King who claims his son is half bull, to the husband who claims his wife was adulterous with an ox. To the King who demands tribute as virgins so that he can send them down to hell. The dark goddess screams justice, but you're at a horrible stalemate.

The gods will curse you for this… They will smite you with a bolt of lightning or drown you next time you cross the great sea if they see you’ve helped this half-beast escape. If you guide him to Minos, you’re a participant in kingslaying, and the gods never forget things like that.

“He’s your father and the king of Crete,” you whisper in fear. “The gods will strike you down–”

“Gods?” He spits. “I piss on the gods. I fuck their corpses and leave them to rot.”

You almost choke on the blasphemy levelled at you. The shadows creep closer, the stare behind the black fur is dark and amused, burning with the crooked wrath of a thousand years. 

“Perhaps I’ll fuck you too.”

It’s unnerving that you don’t find the threat wholly unappealing.

If anything, your eyes drift down to the hairs of his chest, to the two big muscles that resemble the work of the best sculptors in Athens. 

“Are you a virgin, female of the crossroads?”

His eyes search for your response: they want to see your fear and disgust. You swallow again, arduously against his hand, both caressing and testing you. 

The beast leans forward, as if weighing if he could somehow insult the gods by pillaging you. The rough hair of his chest meets the white cloth, it brushes against your nipples as he bends down to have a good sniff of you.

“You smell like a virgin,” he growls.

The hand leaves your throat, only to travel down your sternum. He grabs your breast nonchalantly, a little too roughly, the hot palm closing around the teat and squeezing it like it’s a toy. When you don’t react, he squeezes it again, this time hard enough to coax a whimper out of you.

“Sound like a virgin…”

Without warning, the hand dives straight between your legs next, palm forcing its way through your thighs and curving to cup your sex, moulding around it with barbaric thirst.

“Feel like a virgin, too.”

It’s thick, hot, and heavy, how he simply tries you through your dress. Fingers testing your folds, he’s clearly enjoying the subtle wetness he finds down there. You can hear another hitched grunt pushing up his throat, rugged and whiny this time, a broken groan that dissipates because of how dry his throat is. 

No man has ever dared to lay his hands on you... Many have wanted, but none have tried. Even drunkards and fools respect women who belong to the dark goddess.

But he doesn’t care about the wrath of Hecate. He doesn’t give a shit about the gods. He simply takes what he wants, what falls into his lap. The fifteenth offering, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in devouring your flesh. 

How easily he could simply yank that loincloth aside and drag your dress up. Force his cock into your tight, wet heat without uttering a word. You doubt that he would even take the trouble of laying you down on the ground for taking... Beasts rut when they want to: this man could fuck you against this wall if his loins demanded so, guttural groans being the last thing you hear before the candle goes out. 

You don’t know if you have to spread your legs for him before this is over, but you reckon you will do even that if it means you’ll see the sun again. You’ll endure every thick thrust, and gods be cursed, you wouldn’t even be solely disgusted if this half-animal chose to breed you... As shameful as it is, you would somewhat enjoy having him rut you like an animal in heat.

And you’ve gone mad, surely. 

You want to touch him too, just to test another theory. 

Deciding that it's a good idea to stick your hand into the maw of hell, your fingers lift. They meet his bicep, and the lewd panting stops.

He’s not even breathing… He’s just drowsy and drunk, looking at you with a mixture of soft sleepiness and awe in his stare. Like a dog who has never been petted, even his eyes drift half closed when he forgets to threaten you, now focusing solely on your hand. 

And you start to caress him, slowly, so slowly… Tracing the muscle all the way up where it meets the shoulder, you stroke even the thick cord that leads to his neck. The rest of him disappears under the bull, but the man behind it already shivers under your touch. He even bends his head a little in hopes that you would go under the mask and touch him there, and the gesture reminds you of an animal exposing its vulnerable areas, baring its very throat in submission. 

Braving a quick peek down, you notice that the buckskin cloth is stretched high and wide. His whole body is tense and immobile: you could cup him through the soft animal skin and he would probably shoot his seed from a single stroke of your palm. 

If this is not a virgin, you don’t know what is...

In a way, it would perhaps be wise to shove your hand down and disarm this man. That way, you would be safe for a few more minutes. Instead, you lay your palm over his chest, right over where his heart should be. 

“So do you, Bull of Crete...”

His gaze flickers.

The darkness hesitates, widens, nearly swallows the azure pools whole. But he doesn’t look irate or wild... Only shocked.

It’s an impasse. A thicket. His hand on you, your hand on him.

He surrenders first: the underworld budges before the utterly pure. You bless him with grace the instant he withdraws his hand from between your legs – slowly, reluctantly, like leaving a place that belongs to him. Or to which he belongs…

“I promise I’ll help you, Minos Tauros. But I need you to give me something in return.”

You remove your hand too. Softly, slowly, like a horse master who trains and tames wild things. All words seem to have escaped his tongue: he only grunts, unsure of what a beast like him could give you in return for your help.

“You must promise to be kind to me.”

“Kind...?”

“I need you to behave,” you explain. “No bad things on the way up... No fucking.”

Everything else, he seems to accept, but during the last sentence the Minotaur blinks at you, utterly confused.

“But... You smell like you want to fuck.” 

Your jaw drops open a tiny bit. Then you remember that a priestess of Hecate doesn’t gawk.

“I don’t–How would you know that…?”

The beast only shrugs. Then he leans forward and takes another sniff as if to prove it’s true that you want his cock inside you.

“You smell good,” he grunts. “Different... Female, not afraid.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to…”

He even raises his hand to inspect the slight wetness there. Fascinated by the thin film on his fingers, he rubs his thumb in it, probably thinking about bringing it under his mask to get a good sniff of your juices too.

You grab his wrist without thinking, mortified to your core by the prospect of him getting high on your slick. 

“Look. We need to leave before the candle burns out.”

The obsessive stare threatens to swallow you once more, so you let go of his wrist and steel your resolve. Scooting down to grab your things, you try to ignore the violent erection still pointing straight at you.

Hecate keep you from offering yourself to this man out of your own free will...

And you don’t have a torch, only a candle and a skein of blood-red yarn, but you know the way out, so there’s hope. There’s always hope.

“I need you to promise me,” you turn at the mouth of the tunnel, seeing that he’s still standing there, in the place where he almost took you like his first whore. As if waking up from a thrall, he straightens to his full height, picks up his sword and looks like a half-human, half-bull once more.

“I promise,” comes a booming voice from under the animal skull. “No fucking… I’ll behave.” 

You nod. There's a sense of trust in the air. A promise of hope... It's mutual, invigorating -- life-giving, like the sun and blood in your hands.

You don't know if the son of Minos has ever smiled in here, but from the quick glint in his eyes, you suspect that he's smiling right now, the man under that animal mask. Somehow, it reminds you of the stars in the sky.

“Lead the way, maiden.”

[thealtoduck]

Sweet Juice

Clark Kent x Male Reader

Content: Greek Mythology AU

Warnings: Smut, Bottom!Reader, Top!Clark, semi-public sex, anal sex, unprotected sex, drunken sex, skinny dipping, spit as lube, missionary position…

Summary: You’re a member of Dionysus following and during a feast you meet a demigod son of Zeus, Clark, also known as the man of steel…

——

You were a lesser deity in a world filled with powerful gods, monsters and heroes. You were the son of the now famous naiad, Daphne. Unfortunately though your mother was no longer with you as she had been turned in to a laurel tree as a form of mercy.

It was considered mercy because the only other option she had was to be violated by Apollo, who was under the spell of Eros after an argument between the two. Apollo feeling bad about the whole ordeal apologised by finding you a place in the retinue of Dionysus and Ariadne.

You didn’t mind this as your duties were pretty much drink, dance, fuck, drink more and generally just to have a good time. It was just constant partying and celebration.

One night when the party had yet to start a visitor came for Dionysus. You were sat close to the god’s throne, you were petting one of his pet leopards when a strange man appeared and entered the god’s camp. He walked slowly towards the olympian. You noted his handsome appearance as he stopped in front of Dionysus.

”Lord Dionysus, you sent for me” the man said in a deep tone. ”I did” Dionysus confirmed before standing up saying loudly ”Everyone! Let me introduce to you to Clark, you may know him as the man of steel!… And also one of my younger half brothers”.

Dionysus followers broke out in cheers for the hero, who seemed slightly confused by the big welcoming. ”I’ve called him here to save us all from the cyclops that has been attacking in the night” Dionysus declared and everyone once again cheered.

”What?! You never told me of any cyclops?!” Clark asked agitated. ”Actually I didn’t tell you anything but you showed up anyway” Dionysus teased him. ”Why don’t you save them yourself?” Clark questioned. However Dionysus only responded with a simple ”Where’s the fun in that?”.

Clark looked irretated at Dionysus and said ”I will not be tricked in to fighting someone else’s battle”. Making the on looking crowd let out disappointed murmurs. Dionysus walked up to the hero and put a hand on his shoulder.

”Come on Clark, do us this favour and we’ll give you the biggest celebration you’ll experince in a life time, with the finest wine and feast, our best music and dancers and if you want you can take to bed anyone you fancy, we don’t judge” Dionysus offered.

Clark took a moment looking around at the crowd surrounding him until his eyes landed on you for a swift moment. He then turned back to Dionysus and said ”Very well, i shall do you this favour”. Once again the crowd including you broke out in cheers and applause for the demigod.

The very next day gifted Clark with a sword, armour and food by Dionysus as he and his followers saw off the hero on his way to save them from the threat of the cyclops.

I didn’t take long for Clark to return as he was back at the camp by next day. He came back in the afternoon covered from head to toe in dirt, dust and a little cyclops blood. Throwing the red painted sword by Dionysus feet.

”Well done” Dionysus complimented looking at the blood drenched sword. Dionysus then turned towards you ”Y/n, take our hero somewhere he can wash off” he commanded. ”Yes, lord Dionysus” you said with a quick bow. He then turned back to Clark and said ”When you return, we feast”.

You went and collected a basket with a bottle of scented oil, a strigil (a tool they used in ancient greece to wash themselves) and a new chiton. ”This way, my lord” you said to Clark and started guiding him through the forest. ”Please, just Clark is fine” he said humbly following you.

You guided him to a secluded pond. ”Impressive, how did you find this place so quickly?” Clark complimented. ”My mother was a naiad, it’s an instinct” you explained putting down the basket next to the pond.

”Would you like me to bring you anything else?” you asked Clark as he started undressing out of the dented armour and dirty chiton. ”You’ve already done enough for me, thank you” he said gentlemanly. Clark was now naked, revealing his muscled body and impressive manhood, which you tried not to look at.

He stepped down in the pond, the water reaching up to his hips. ”Why don’t you join me?” he suggested gesturing towards the water. ”I’d love too, but i have to help the others prepare everything for tonight” you said. ”Come on, only for a short time” Clark tempted. ”Okay” you said with a smile, taking off your chiton and sandals.

Clark watched your naked form with interest as you stepped down in to the water. ”See, it’s nice” Clark said starting to wash himself off using the scented oil you brought for him. You tried not to stare at his oiled up chest but you were 90% sure he caught you looking but he didn’t say anything, he only smirked.

You relaxed in the cool water for a while until you remembered you needed to get back to the others. You climbed out of the pond and started putting on your clothing once again. ”Thanks for the company, hope i’ll see you tonight” Clark said. ”Hope, i’ll see you too” you said and started walking through the forest back towards camp.

That night the music rang loudly through the forest as you celebrated the death of cyclops and your new hero, Clark. You drank and danced wildly with your friends. Some others were already passed out from drinking, some were gambling and playing games and one couple were fucking against a tree.

You saw Clark sitting on a pillow next to Dionysus talking, goblet in hand. You made your way over to the olympian and the demigod. ”Y/n” Dionysus exclaimed happily as he noted your presence. He patted a pillow next to him saying ”Come sit down”.

You took the offer sitting down next to the god, he made your empty goblet instantly refill and put an arm around you. ”I was just telling Clark of my inner circle” Dionysus revealed and continued ”Y/n, here you’ve met, he is my and Ariandne’s favourite attendant and friend” he said sweetly.

”Also he has a body as if sculpted by Pygmalion, carved and smoothed to absolute perfection. You should hope to have a look upon it someday” Dionysus said taking another sip from his goblet.

”Actually i already have” Clark stated boldly making Dionysus spill some wine on himself. ”Y/n, joined me for a swim in the pond” Clark explained making your cheeks heat up slightly. ”Is that so?” Dionysus questioned looking towards you.

”Well, i’ve got to go find Ariadne” Dionysus said getting up leaving you and Clark. ”Are you and Dionysus-?” Clark started but you cut him off saying ”No, he and Ariadne just have a very open relationship”. ”How has your night been?” you then questioned the hero.

”Enjoyable but i’ve never been much of a party person” he said then taking a sip from his cup. ”I get it, before i came here i wasn’t either” you told him and then got an idea. ”Wanna go for a walk for some peace and quiet?” you asked. ”Sure, i’d love too” Clark said and the two of you stood up and walked off in to the forest behind you bringing your goblets with you.

You walked and talked for a while, drinking until your goblets were didn’t have a single drop left in them. Dionysus must’ve brought out the strong stuff because you and Clark were stumbling around and slurring your speech, you were laughing loudly at each others stories, sitting very close together.

Finally the two of you ended up behind some bushes close by to the party. You started to passionately make out, you laying on your back in the soft grass and Clark on top of you. Clark tore open your chiton and undressed you, leaving your naked form beneath him.

He then took off his own clothes revealing his muscular body and his hard cock. Clark took his hand and brought it to your mouth, you sucked on his fingers to get them wet, then he brought his moist fingers to your enterance and started pushing finger inside you.

You let out a small gasp as Clark started to finger you open, he added another fiinger and then another until you were ready to take him. Clark spit in to his hand and rubbed it over his erect manhood.

”It’s time i claim my reward” Clark said spreading your legs, he lined himself up with you and started pushing his hard cock in to your warmth. Clark loved the seeing the face you made as his cock slowly filled you up.

”Fuck your so big” you hissed as the demigod was fully sheated deep inside you. He then slowy started moving pushing himself in and out of you as a wave of pleasure started washing over you.

Your legs were wrapped around Clark as he thrusted in to you. ”I’m gonna fuck your little nymph hole full with my seed” Clark groaned in to your ear and placed kisses all along your neck. The demigod started speeding up his thrusts.

”Clark, fuck yeah! Take me” you said in ecstasy grabbing at his back as he fucked your hole. Both of your bodies had started gleaming from sweat as he mounted you under the moonlight, as his reward for defeating the cyclops.

Clark’s thrusts became rougher as he wanted to take you like a real demigod would, he loved how your walls clenched around his thick cock. He brutally fucked you with all the strength of his godly heritage to bring you to your release.

You let out breathy moans as Clark pounded your gaping hole, thrusting against your prostate. You felt yourself getting close to your orgasm. You dug your nails in to the grass below as Clark’s cock made you see Mount Olympus.

”Clark, i’m gonna cum” you said panting heavily making Clark thrust deeper as he wanted to push you over the edge. Then your cock started spraying cum all over your and Clark’s stomachs. Clark’s own release was getting close.

”I’m gonna plant my seed deep inside you” Clark moaned and his rough thrusts became uneven and sloppy. Clark delivered one last deep stroke in to you and he erupted inside you, he flooding your insides with his cum.

Both of you panted heavily and Clark rolled over and layed next to you in the grass. ”You were amazing” Clark praised while softly stroking your cheek. The two of you then used your torn clothes as blankets as you cuddled close together and you both fell asleep under the starry sky.

[shinishmermaid]

AKA Greek Gods and Their Lovers

Apollo and Hyacinthus

-gay gay homosexual gay

-they reunited!!

Aphrodite and Ares

-love and war very poetic

-basically married

-she is everything, he is just Ares

Zeus and Ganymede

-WHOOP WHOOP THAT'S THE SOUND OF DA POLICE

-Fellas is it gay to kidnap a beautiful teen and then make him your barista?

Aphrodite and Hephaestus

-each other's second choice

-dinners were probably really awkward

-glad they got divorced

Hades and Persephone

-without the kidnaping part could've been a very romantic story

-we stan gothic rulers and their pet dogs

Dionysus and Ariadne

-very cute and romantic

-the best married Olympian couple

-relationship goals

Apollo and Adonis

-yes this actually happened

-the original sunshine x malewife couple

[pumpkinbxtch]

Thanks for doing that Lester x Non Binary Dionysus reader! I really loved it and I'm sorry for being so vague about it I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted. But it made me think, what would happen if Dionysus found out that Apollo and his child were dating? I think it would be fun. Take your time, I love your oneshots <333

oops, father found out ˚ ༘ ⋆

— apollo x child of dionysus!reader

previous part (no need to read it)

Warnings: none!

a/n: hi again! I'm glad you liked the last part and don't worry sometimes it's hard for us to know what we want. Here you go, I hope you like it ❤️ And thank you for your support 🥹🫶🏻 I hope i did well on this one too.

— What? Did you lose your mind, kid?! — You chuckled at the obvious reference to your father's powers. Usually, you'd be scared out of your wits, but with Apollo by your side, things just seemed easier. If that wasn't love, then what was it? — Don't make me punish you!

Apollo sighed. — Brother...

— Exactly, you're my brother! It's your—

— Stop! — You pleaded as you brought your hands to your head. You looked at Dionysus, his nose getting redder when he got angry. — You don't have DNA, father.

He snorted.

— I don't care, this can't happen.

— But it's already happening — your boyfriend defended. To your surprise, Apollo stood up straighter, more convinced, determined not to let you be separated, not after all the eons he spent searching for the love of his life. — And I love them. Be sure of that, brother. My intentions are not to hurt them.

Dionysus gritted his teeth and looked at Pollux, who had his gaze fixed on some point, thinking gods only know what. You, who knew him better than anyone, thought he looked surprised but not angry, because he had already lost a brother. Clearly, he didn't want to lose another sibling... but things were different, different situations, that's what he thought.

The room remained tense for different reasons; you couldn't believe the stupid reason you had been caught. Maybe it would have been better if your father had caught you kissing behind the cabin or holding hands, but you never imagined it would be because of the trace of your perfume on Apollo's clothes.

"I gave it to you!" your father said when he shook your boyfriend's shirt in your face, and you let out nervous giggles.

The question that haunted you was whether your father would take all this seriously and not let them be together because sometimes he could be strict and stubborn.

— You know what it is...

Apollo's voice filled the room of The Big House, and you could see Chiron discreetly pacing to catch up on the gossip. Dionysus raised an eyebrow and leaned over his brother, who, holding his brother's fleeting gaze, never faltered.

— What are you saying, Apollo?

— Falling in love — he replied, and you stopped feeling the situation funny; instead, a warmth spread across your cheeks. Pollux glanced at you sideways, and a small smile formed on his face. Things were getting better and better.

— Don't talk nonsense, Apollo.

— I'm not, brother. You and Ariadne—

— No! — the other exclaimed with a growl, his eyes bubbling with fury.

Apollo sighed again and approached his brother even closer, almost touching noses.

— Don't forget how you felt every time father scolded you.

— It's not the same!

— No, but you know what it's like to love someone so much that you lose the reason for your being, brother. — Apollo stepped back, his eyes shining with confidence. — I won't make them feel less than a deity or part of royalty I'll adore them with my soul until the ether dissipates. You know I've changed, brother, and for them, Me, a god, would die.

Dionysus wanted to intervene; however, Apollo kept speaking, pouring his heart out with every word.

— I would vanish and all humanity with the absence of my light before I even think of disappointing your child.

Pollux slid until his shoulders bumped, and you looked at him amazed. He smiled and hooked his pinky with yours. "I like him, I accept it," he wanted to say.

The place filled with silence, and your father looked away from Apollo for the first time to fix his gaze on you.

— Leave, I need to talk to my brother alone.

And although you would have liked to contradict him, you obeyed because you finally noticed the emotion he was hiding behind the anger in his eyes; there was nothing but fear, and you would have to endure until he let you know because despite how tough he could seem, he was your father. The same one who raised you with love and affection.

Before walking further from the porch, you could see through those curtains a hug, and you sighed. Everything would be fine.

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 1:

Preview: While everything seems normal, things on Mount Olympus have escalated quite too far. Zeus once again cheats on Hera, while saving Dionysos from embarrassing drunk moments becomes a struggle for his siblings. And many more to follow....

Scene 1: (Zeus' grand palace)

Hera: Zeus!

Zeus: Yes honey!

Hera: Honey? Don't you honey me you piece of shit!

Zeus: Don't you piece of shit me!

Hera: You cheated on me again!

Zeus confessional:

Sometimes Hera overreacts about my infidelities! They say that sex is the best way to burn calories while you do something you enjoy! Women! They never understand!

Hera's confessional with a beauty face mask:

Having to put up with such drama is annoying! Can't he see that all this situation is harmful for the ecosystem? Who's gonna clean all the bacteria he spreads?

Zeus: Stop making something out of nothing!

Hera: I saw you!

Zeus: Oh, you were eavesdropping my dirty little queen! You should have joined us!

Hera: I WANT A DIVORCE!

-----------

Scene 2: (Apollo's grand mansion on Mount Olympus)

Apollo's confessional:

I was having a nice little orgy with my nine beautiful Muses when Hermes decided to so rudely interrupt my fun!

Apollo: What's going on?

Hermes: I know it may sound normal, but someone gotta save Dionysus ass outta the club! Ariadne called me to tell me that she can't find him!

Apollo: Can I have a nice time without someone interrupting my fun!

Hermes: This is serious business, and for Zeus' sake dress up!

Hermes' confessional:

I love all my siblings and I always wanna help them. So when we are done saving Dionysus' ass, I'm gonna take Apollo to a strip club!

-----------

Scene 3: (Mount Olympus, Ares and Athena in some crazy conflict)

Athena: Again?

Ares: I'm not surprised anymore. All my childhood years were filled with this shitty matter.

Ares confessional:

Dad cheating on mum is the most common thing on this Mountain. It is like saying "good morning". When I was younger I always took some pop corn and listened to them fight! Man! This was even more exhilarating than a football game!

Athena: I'm too mind-elevated to care about such stuff! I use my smartness for dumb things!

Ares: Will you stop bragging about your wits? It is too egotistical!

Athena: You are jealous!

Ares: No, I am right! And you don't wanna admit it because you are a selfish bitch!

Athena: Who did you call a bitch?

Ares: You of course! Do you see anyone else here to call bitch?

Athena: Yes! You!

Ares: How mature of you!

Athena: You dare talk back to me!

Ares: This is how a conversation is done you smartarse!

Hestia confessional:

I am really depressed by Ares' and Athena's behavior! They had a fight and Ares' spear went through my favorite vase!

Athena: Wait! You don't care about our well-beings?

Hestia: I would, if you didn't smash the whole palace!

Ares: As usual I'll be the one to be blamed!

___________

Scene 4: (Apollo and Hermes find Dionysus)

Hermes: What is he doing inside the fountain?

Dionysus: And my heart will go on and on!

Apollo's confessional:

Watching Dionysus perform Celine Dion inside a fountain is disgusting! He sings awfully and he is full of germs!

Hermes: Let's get him out!

Apollo: You're kidding, right?

Hermes: Will you get serious!

Apollo: I AM SERIOUS! My beautiful face isn't going to be ruined like that! This beauty must remain untouched!

Hermes: You untouched beauty, he's falling!

Apollo: OH MY GOSH!

Hermes confessional:

Thanks goodness we caught him on time before slipping on the ground! I have second thoughts about making it up on Apollo though! He was a bad boy!

________________

WELL GUYS THAT'S THE FIRST EPISODE! I PROMISED TO DO IT AND I DID IT!

What do you think so far? Tell me in the comments!

I'm thinking about making 10 episodes of this, and I have some ridiculous ideas!

One episode per week it is, and of course I'll add more scenes!

Also, I think I may steal some KUWTK ikonik phrases and scenes here and there, of course a little modified!

✌️😛😝

[lau-and-history]

Books of 2023

Lord Edgware Dies by Agatha Christie

Die Dorfschullehrerin (Duology) by Eva Völler

Die rätselhaften Honjin-Morde by Seishi Yokomizo

The Man who died Twice by Richard Osman

Die Abenteur des Apollo (Series) by Rick Riordan

The Age of Darkness: Das Ende der Welt by Katy Rose Pool

The Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Before the Coffee gets Cold. Tales form the Café by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

The Paris Bookseller by Kerri Maher

Ariadne by Jennifer Saint

The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida by Shehan Karunatilaka

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie

Three Act Tragedy by Agatha Christie

The Bullet that missed by Richard Osman

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Before your Memory fades by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

Heart of the Sun Warrior by Sue Lynn Tan

Victory City by Salman Rushdie

The Penelopiad by Margret Atwood

He who drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan

Audio Books

Der grillende Killer by Chang Kuo-Li

Butter by Asako Yuzuki

Die Tribute von Panem X: Das Lied von Vogel und Schlange by Suzanne Collins

Der Pfirsichgarten by Melissa Fu

Wie viel von diesen Hügeln ist Gold by C Pam Zhang

Die Drei ??? und die rätselhaften Bilder by William Arden

Die Tage in der Buchhandlung Morisaki by Satoshi Yagisawa

Mortal Engines (Quadrology) by Philip Reeve

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo