#BRO...DUDE...IM GONNA SCREAM ;0;

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[goose-duck]

Creepypasta incorrect quotes ⭐

~~~~~~

Nina: spirit Halloween opened up early and my poor money decisions are always open so I bought a bunch of stuff

~~~~~~

Jeff: so...are we the best or the worst?

Toby: yes, sir.

~~~~~~

Jeff: he doesn't have eyeballs bro- he probably doesn't have balls either...

~~~~~~

Nina: he's ugly, I love him

~~~~~~

Y/N: There's just something abt his lack of a mouth and being less fluffy that makes me want him

Toby: he can't scream

Y/N: perfect

~~~~~~

Jeff: best friends!!

Y/N: nooOOOOO!!!!

~~~~~~

EJ: I learn from the mistakes of people who take my advice

~~~~~~

Y/N: heading into work~

*explosion*

Y/N: or maybe not-

~~~~~~

Nina: so romantic~

Jeff: *screaming*

Nina: romance <3

~~~~~~

Y/N: Jack, why am I in this room?

EJ: am I responsible for you moving from room to room now?

Y/N: yes.

EJ: then stay in that room.

~~~~~~

Toby: it's an elevator

Masky: this is a ladder, Toby.

Toby: imagination ✨

Hoodie: just because you put a sign that says "elevator" doesn't mean it's actually an elevator.

Toby: imagination ✨

~~~~~~

Y/N: but not me, because no one can get mad at me

Jane: I feel like in an hour we're all gonna be mad at you for something

~~~~~~

Toby: I made a house, what did you make?

Sally: a balloon

Toby: wonderful

~~~~~~

Jeff: just don't be blind

EJ: wow, you've cured me

~~~~~~

Toby: someone please take me off this fucking planet

~~~~~~

Y/N: Don't look at ceilings when ur tired. Never know what you'll see.

Toby: context, please

Y/N: Thought I had a fucking ceiling fan but it was just the balloons that I refuse to take down from my 13th birthday. I can't tell if I'm tired or stupid but I think either way it's correct.

Toby: it's probably both

Y/N: Exactly- It scared the shit outta me too-I saw it and was so fucking scared that I might have a ceiling fan in my room-

Toby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A FAN! ITS ON THE CEILING!!

Y/N: Y/N, Weakness: ceiling fans that may or may not be there

Toby: strength: walking in high heels, weakness: imaginary ceiling fans

~~~~~~

Hoodie: it's just a deer or something

Masky: bro, that is not a deer

~~~~~~

Jeff: *sees a spider* I should have just bombed the house the last time I saw one of you fuckers

~~~~~~

EJ: I'm doing good...im doing great...i have a headache.....

~~~~~~

Jeff: this is like when I threatened to steal your skin and bones and stuff

~~~~~~

Jeff: it's like if a heat stroke were a room

Y/N: me

Jeff: no, you're like if a heat stroke were a person

Y/N: oh

~~~~~~

Y/N: tree tops

Jeff: crispy

Nina: crispy tree tops?

Jane: why are they crispy?

EJ: why is everyone talking about trees??

~~~~~~

Jane: I'm moving the pumpkins, sorry, Toby

Toby: nooo, my life's work...

~~~~~~

Toby: would you be more offended if I got a mug of milk or orange juice?

Masky: milk.

~~~~~~

Jeff: they're all safety scissors, I don't think I can possibly be unsafe with them

*pile of about 10 safety scissors*

~~~~~~

LJ: I took some of his teeth and coloured them like candy corns

~~~~~~

Jeff: I'll steal ur hair, I'll take ur eyebrows and I'll steal ur skin too

Toby: please, that's all I have

Jeff: U have bones, mucles, veins, blood, cartilage and organs that I could take too

Toby: no thanks

~~~~~~

Hoodie: Masky is this big *puts his fingers together*

~~~~~~

Jeff: what are you doing dude?

Y/N: hugging? I think??

Jeff: it's weird...

Y/N: yeah, let's never do that again

~~~~~~

Y/N: die.

Toby: :0

Y/N: in a nice way..?

~~~~~~

Nina: I'm sure there's someone in Fabio who's named Russia

Jane: what?

Nina: yup.

~~~~~~

Jeff: I hit myself in the face with an eye!

EJ: give it to me!

~~~~~~

Ben: what the rational number?

~~~~~~

Toby: I think I failed at life...

~~~~~~

*Jeff and Toby leave the room*

Masky: well, that was a headache

Hoodie: which one?

EJ: both.

~~~~~~

*Jeff walks by*

Jane: look at him, he's greasy

~~~~~~

Y/N: why are you only offended when Jeff says something?

EJ: because it's Jeff

~~~~~~

Toby: well how's this right?

Jeff: because I'm here!

~~~~~~

Jane: I'm going to Halifax

Jeff: Hali-fuck you

~~~~~~

Sally: I saw a girl and she was young

Y/N: you're young

Sally: I'm 8

Y/N: exactly, young.

Sally: so you're a grandma?

~~~~~~

Toby: fellas, if you need me, I'll be living inside this cabinet

~~~~~~

Y/N: I'm afraid of togetherness

[hellsballz]

OKAY IM MENTALLY ILL HERES STUFF ABOUT THE NEW TRAILER (this one) OBV SPOILERS AHEAD!

(0:05)

this makes me SO INSANELY ILL. LOOK AT ALL OF THEM. OH MY FUCKIGN GOD. IM GONNA IMPLODE AND DIE "im just so worried about him" LLOYDS THE ONE TALKING ABOUT ARIN EUGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEREUGHGHGHHGHGH

(0:10) am i tripping or is that a new scar? (0:12) arin: "im trying!" ras: "youre failing!" GET OUTTTT GET OOOUUUTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(0:16) THAT PHOTO IS FRAMED IM KILLIN MYSELF

(0:21) "we're gonna find them" FINALLY SOME COLE AND LL OYD MOMENT OH MY GOD. I LOVE YOU COLE ILOVEYOUI

(0:36) HE HAS. THE BLADE

(0:43) HELP THE WAY HE CAUGHT IT IS SO SILLY LIKE BROOO WHAT IS THAT STANCEEEE YOUR STUDENTS LIFE IS ON THE LINE AND THIS IS WHAT YOURE DOING???

(0:49) nightmare fuel, take this thing off my screen.

(0:51) this may be a stretch but i think they might be in djinjago???

LOOK ITS ARROKE!!!! THEY ARE IN THE NEW DJINJAGO!!!!

(0:53) THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT. OH MY GOD. THANK GOD IM HOPE ALONE MY YELL JUST WENT THROUGH THE ENTIRE HOUSE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IMMA END IT HOLY FUCK HE LOOKS SO GOOOODDDDDDD

(0:55) "who was that guy?" it seems rogue is pretty good at hiding his identity!

(0:57) the dragonians are fighting the claws of emperium and... RAPTON!!!! WAIT WHY IS HIS HAIR GAY

(0:58) get OFF ME DUDE

(0:58) shouldve mentioned this b4 but i think they are in that forest that had the temple of spirits in it !!!

(0:59) MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE!

(0:59) "is this guy bugs? IS THIS GUY BUGS?!"

(1:02) "your need to be liked is a weakness" WHAT THE FUCK. GET OUT!

(1:04) arin LEAVE THAT GUY TO BE EATEN BY DRAGONS I DONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ANYMORE

(1:05) "everyone thinks im like you, a villain" IM KILLING MYSELF. MY BOY ARIN MY DEAREST I NEED TO HOLD YOU . I NEED. TO HUG YOU OH MY GOD

(1:09) at first i thought these were tortoises and i was like wha 😭😭😭

(1:11) HELL UYEAAAGHHH!!!! YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(1:13) OKAY I i actually think this may be a snippet of ras's backstory. am i cray cray or what

(1:13) PUECE OF SHIIITTTT!!!!!!! OH MY GOOD HE LOOKS SO GOOD HERE ALSO I CANT BELIEVE IT REALLY WAS HIM. BITCH GET DOWN YOURE GONNA FALL TO DEATH

(1:14) damn he flexible!

(1:15) this shot is NEAT

(1:16) IM GONNA KILL MUSELF LIKE ACTUALLY

THATS IT IM KILLING MYSELF. OH MY GOD THIS SEASON IS GONNA BE SO LIT. AND ALSO BREAK MY FUCKASS HEART OH MY GOOOODDDDD

(1:17) stop looking at me with those big ass green fucking eyes bro.

(1:18) GET THIS FUSION MPREG CHILD OFF MY SCREEN I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT FUCK ONLY 30 IMAGES ARE ALLOWED PER POST UHHH MAKING A PART TWO RN LIKE SUBSCRIBE AND HIT THAT BELL

[cherubsoda]

I AM LOOKING DIRCETLY AT IT

@cherubsoda

*hug you from across the globe* ; ;!!!!! Bro ily hope everything will be better soon!!

[spookymonthincorrectquotes]

What happens when all the characters are on Tumblr-:

Skid: Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

Pump: LISTEN-

Robert: Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

Roy: father god

Ross: …if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

Roy: -_-’

Ross: (15+15=30 25+25=30)

Robert: 25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

Kevin: Lord have mercy….

Frank: Bye

Kevin: 3 days into 2018 smh

Fat thief: LMAOOOOOOO

Thin thief: One Three Five Nine And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

Jack: 🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

John: It keeps getting worse.

Jaune: LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

Radford: My head hurts…

Phil: This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

Patty: who failed yall?

Lila: IM SCREAMING

Moloch: You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

Dexter: why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

Eyes: 3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

Radford: happy New year’s eve

Kevin: I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Fat thief: Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

John: did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

Jack: Reblogging for the last one😂

Rick: The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

Happy Fella (As in the actor): TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

Sad guy: Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

Candy Dealer: ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

Susie: bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

Phil: what the actual fuck is happening

Fat thief: 1 is an even number

John: I’m gonna smack you

Thin thief: -30 and -50 have an e in them

Jack: Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

Happy Fella (Dexter doll (yes he died in the middle of the post lol)): Zero isn’t a number

Robert: It can’t be divided by two though, can it

Susie: It can??? 0/2=0??

Roy: OD NUMBERS onE thrEE fivE sEvEn ninE

Robert: OD numbers huh?

Ross: Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

Pump: YOU FORGOT 5

Kevin, whos lost braincells at this point: DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

Radford: What about it?????

Kevin: THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

Radford: THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

Lila: A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

Eye: 21 days away from 2020, folks.

Kevin: Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

Pump: This is art at its finest

Ross: one week to 2020 dudes

Kevin: I’m so done

Fat thief: Im so upset that even with all the “zero is odd” “no it’s not” stuff no one bothered to point out… It doesn’t matter. Zero, 0, zEro

Thin thief: But zero isn’t odd. It’s fucking the lack of a number. It’s neutral. It’s empty. There’s nothing there

Fat thief: Zero is a number.

Mr. Wonder: A definition of an even number is that it can be divided by 2 and the result is a whole number. Since you cannot divide zero, you cant divide it by 2 and that means that zero is an odd number. zEro, onE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, ElEven, and then the suffix -teen and every other odd number in english contains the names of the numbers 1 to 9.

Thin thief: zero is not a goddamn odd number what. even i know that and i’m not good at math. also you can divide 0 by 2, it’s 0, you literally just divide it and you just get 0 out oh my gosh. you can’t divide by zero but you can divide zero.

John: Quote from this one “ So, technically, [zero] is even. In fact, it is the most even number there is.” also does anybody on here ever look anything up or? this is making my brain physically hurt. christ.

Jack: NO. NO FUCK YOU ALL WE ARE NOT BRINGING THIS SHIT INTO 2020. WHOEVER BROUGHT THIS BACK DID IT ON PURPOSE AND I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN FOR SPORT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS.

Pump: This post was an absolute train wreck and I’m cursing my followers with it

Susie: Damn you

Fat thief: “Anyone can do math, even gay people”

Thin thief: Bitch, are you sure???

The clown (Yes it's speaking English, it's TUMBLR not actual speech): This post is amazing. The Chaos is pleased.

Phil: Is this fucking number discourse

Patty: Do you have an issue with that?

Phil: No but just out of all the things it’s about numbers Just that it’s weird is all

Rick: The internet is weird, you should be used to that by now.

Pump: Yeah that’s true

Radford: At least the cum soup post was less weird than this

Lila: Uhh I’m sorry the what

Jaune: Oh boy here we go again

John: How many times have I done this so far

Jack: I’ve done this like… three, maybe four times so far

John: Do you really want to know

Fat thief: You can turn back now

Roy: Please why did I have to see this post I had midterms today and my brain is already dead I don’t have enough brain cells for this

Skid: I had never seen this before today and I told my grandma about it and she’s shaking her head in both humor and disappointment. Good job everyone!

Pump: This is the longest post but yall forgot 6

Robert: And 1,3,5,7, and 9 are odd numbers. 5 is an honorary even number, but it is still odd.

Ross: Happy 2020 everyone! Everyday we stray further from god.

Roy: two years later and we’re still… tumblr

Pump: Reminds me of the recent pinky finger somebody that I used to know debacle on tiktok

[yaboirezzy]

My kin/family all use Tumblr-

Molly: Every single odd number has an “e” in it

Peter 1: LISTEN-

Luz: Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter "e" in it…

Amity: Oh titan-

Anne: …If you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd

Amity: -_-’

Anne: (15+15=30 25+25=30)

Luz: 25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

Andrea: Lord have mercy….

Hooty: Bye

Andrea: 3 days into 2018 smh

Marcy: LMAOOOOOOO

Libby: One Three Five Nine And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter "e"

Peter 3: YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

Willow: It keeps getting worse

Gus: LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON???

Sprig: My head hurts…

Hunter: This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

Ivy: Who failed yall?

Peter 2: IM SCREAMING

Scratch: You whole ass forgot about eight – a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

King: Why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? The post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck?

Darryl: 3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

Sprig: Happy New year’s Eve!

Andrea: I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Marcy: Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

Willow: Did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? I’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

Peter 3: Reblogging for the last one

Maddie: The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t

Polly: TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

Pump: Wait what about zero that’s an odd number, no?

Skid: Ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

Sasha: Bro why do 30 and 50 matter? THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN!!

Hunter: What the actual fuck is happening!?

Marcy: 1 is an even number

Willow: I’m gonna smack you

Libby: -30 and -50 have an e in them

Peter 3: Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea?

Polly: Zero isn’t a number

Luz: It can’t be divided by two though, can it?

Sasha: It can??? 0/2=0??

Amity: OD NUMBERS onE thrEE fivE sEvEn ninE

Luz: OD numbers huh babe?

Anne: Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

Peter 1: YOU FORGOT 5

Andrea, who's lost braincells at this point: DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR???

Sprig: What about it?????

Andrea: THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

Sprig: THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

Peter 2: A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y ?

Darryl: 21 days away from 2020, folks

Andrea: Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please...

Peter 1: This is art at its finest

Anne: One week to 2020 dudes

Andrea: I’m so done

Marcy: I'm so upset that even with all the “zero is odd” “no it’s not” stuff no one bothered to point out… It doesn’t matter. Zero, 0, zEro

Libby: But zero isn’t odd. It’s fucking the lack of a number. It’s neutral. It’s empty. There’s nothing there

Marcy: Zero is a number

Scratch: A definition of an even number is that it can be divided by 2 and the result is a whole number. Since you cannot divide zero, you cant divide it by 2 and that means that zero is an odd number. zEro, onE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, ElEven, and then the suffix -teen and every other odd number in english contains the names of the numbers 1 to 9

Libby: Zero is not a goddamn odd number what. Even i know that and i’m not good at math. Also you can divide 0 by 2, it’s 0, you literally just divide it and you just get 0 out oh my gosh. You can’t divide by zero but you can divide zero

Willow: Quote from this one “So, technically, [zero] is even. In fact, it is the most even number there is.” Also does anybody on here ever look anything up or? This is making my brain physically hurt, DEAR TITAN

Peter 3: NO. NO FUCK YOU ALL WE ARE NOT BRINGING THIS SHIT INTO 2020. WHOEVER BROUGHT THIS BACK DID IT ON PURPOSE AND I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN FOR SPORT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS

Peter 1: This post was an absolute train wreck and I’m cursing my followers with it

Sasha: Damn you, spider boi!

Marcy: “Anyone can do math, even gay people”

King: Bitch, are you sure???

Marky: This post is amazing. The Chaos is pleased

Marcy: WTF?!

Hunter: Is this fucking number discourse?!

Ivy: Do you have an issue with that?

Hunter: No but just out of all the things it’s about numbers. Just that it’s weird is all

Maddie: The internet is weird, you should be used to that by now

Peter 1: Yeah that’s true

Sprig: At least the cum soup post was less weird than this

Peter 2: Uhh I’m sorry the what?

Gus: Oh boy here we go again

Willow: How many times have I done this so far?

Peter 3: I’ve done this like…three, maybe four times so far

Willow: Do you really want to know?

Marcy: You can turn back now

Amity: Please why did I have to see this post I had an extra class today and my brain is already dead I don’t have enough brain cells for this

Molly: I had never seen this before today and I told my grandma about it and she’s shaking her head in both humor and disappointment. Good job everyone!

Peter 1: This is the longest post but yall forgot 6

Luz: And 1,3,5,7, and 9 are odd numbers. 5 is an honorary even number, but it is still odd.

Anne: Happy 2020 everyone! Everyday we stray further from god.

Amity: Two years later and we’re still… Tumblr

Peter 1: Reminds me of the recent pinky finger somebody that I used to know debacle on tiktok

-and I regret everything

[mammonsvulva]

Hi there! I just discovered your page and i loved the bachata headcannon!

On that same line, can you do a female latina headcannon? Like, more specifically, Colombian, you know, an MC that's like normally fluent in english but when mad she just burst on angry spanish screaming session with latin curses and a strong accent and also just getting really mad if deemed as Mexican by default? I'd love that! Thank youuuu (also feel free to ignored this if it's not of your fancy)

I hope you have a great day!

Of course! I really hope you like it! :)

(I tried to incorporate things some of my relatives say as Colombians please don’t hate me🥲)

The Brothers + Datables and a Latina MC with Colombian Habits

Lucifer❤️

Lucifer has always been amused by the boldness MC portrayed, that is until Mammon pissed her off

MC actually f*cking explodes, calling Mammon “culicagao” (like a bratty kid) and a bunch of profanities out of rage

Actually leaves Lucifer surprised, who could she hate so much that she’d put a curse on them?

Is actually kind of scared to speak up after she went silent, kinda just stares at her like “what the fuck do I do”

“I’ve told Mammon A THOUSAND TIMES. IM NOT F*CKING MEXICAN”

(Oooohh Mammons gonna get his ASS WHOOPED)

“MAAAAAAMMMMOOOOONNN????”

Mammon💛

Could learn a thing or two from MC, had some strong clap backs

Is counting his money when OUT OF NOWHERE MC just starts incanting a literal curse

Literally has his quaking in his boots dude, like he’s genuinely terrified

He can’t keep up with anything she’s saying and feels like his time to die has come

Doesn’t say A WORD when she calms down, jumps when she starts apologizing for reacting like that

“W-w-what happened? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )”

“I LOST 10 GRAND IN BLACK JACK! ITS FUCKING RIGGED!”

Is genuinely more cautious for a while, kind of traumatized him

Mammon thought it’d be a great Idea to take her to meet one of his witches, MC already didn’t like her but listen to this

First thing the witch said was “Aren’t you that Mexican transfer student or whatever?”

(‘Oooh Ms. Girl you fucked up’)

Leviathan💙

Wishes he could have MCs confidence, ‘how does she respond like that 0•0’

He’s reading Manga while MC just lost on the same level for the 5th time

Accidentally shifts to his demon for he got so scared

Has to whip his tail up and grab the controller before she could slam it, genuinely terrified for his well being

Once she calms down she goes to give him a hug, to help with her frustration

*PANICS* “I-I can h-help you with that level, if y-you want..”

MC watches as he beats it with ease and heaves a sigh of relief, literally such a stupid game

Gets just as offended as MC when somebody said “I went to Mexico on vacation once, what was it like growing up there?”

Will let her handle it and he’ll be her Moral Support <3

Satan💚

Loved that MC was always ready, he was like that too being the Avatar of Wrath

Is genuinely amused when MC burst out swearing because she got a bad grade, he actually thought it was hilarious

Thinks of like a game to keep up with everything she’s shouting, makes her more upset

“What the fuck are you laughing at juemadre de la-“

“You’re Hot when you’re mad, Did you know that?”

Makes her go silent immediately, why is he like this, making people wanna act up on DIAVOLO

When they’re BOTH mad at something it’s like a f*cking BOMB RAID bro

They both just keep adding more, even when Satans speaking a Demon Dialect and MC is speaking Spanish LMAOO

When an arrogant soul decides to purposely mislabel MC as Mexican, the fool needs to count his seconds with MC and Satan both getting on his ass

Asmodeus💞

Has always liked the spunk MC had, it entertained him to watch her bicker with his brothers

Surprised, but not happy AT ALL with the fact that MC could blow up like that

Gets on MC for lashing out, “MC! THIS IS TERRIBLE FOR YOUR SKIN, DO YOU WANT WRINKLES?”

Gets MC to tell him what made her loose her cool like that

“That stupid b*tch from class posted saying “That Mexican transfer student isn’t pretty enough to be this annoying”

Almost explodes as bad as MC did

“MS. GIRL SHE SAID WHAT? Lemme hop on Devilgram and end her career real quick💖”

Devilgram post- Asmodeus 19:34: “Aw sweetie, Not everybody can be as gorgeous as MC and muah, but don’t go trying to drag her in the dirt with you. Filthy🥱”

No mercy on the haters💔

Beelzebub🧡

Like Asmo, found it entertaining to see MC bicker with his brothers every now and then

MC just couldn’t keep calm anymore when she messed up the recipe she was working on AGAIN

Beel becomes more concerned than scared, ‘Is she ok? :(‘

Gets up to hug MC, hoping it’ll help calm her down a bit

She explains that she kept ruining the dessert no matter how hard she tried

“MC, it’s ok to do it wrong, because it helps you learn how to do it right :)”

She’s tried again, except this time with Beel to help her :)

Gets upset when someone defaults MC as Mexican, knowing how much she hates it

He may be a teddy bear but man don’t f*ck with his Chef

Belphegor💜

Thought MC was amusing with the way she made sure everyone knew she wouldn’t take any BS

MC just happened to stub her toe while Belphie was sleeping, and now he’s awake, and heated

“What the f*ck happened?”

Is actually more concerned than upset, she wouldn’t lash out like that for no reason

When MC explains that a picture of her in the RAD Catalog still ended up being there even though she made it clear she was against it

“Oh, MC- you look good in every photo, I wouldn’t be upset about it”

Assures her it’s not a big deal and then invites her to come take a nap with him

Will mean mug the f*ck out of anyone who assumes MC is Mexican, because he finds extremely disrespectful (as it is)

Might commit homicide if they keep saying Mexican but I ain’t no snitch

+

Diavolo♥️

At first took MC as disrespectful, but learned it was only when she felt she was being disrespected (then by all means, go off)

Surprisingly, Diavolo speaks Spanish, but he still kind of struggles to keep up

He’s just laughing the whole time too, like MC isn’t furious

Later, MC calmly explains just some random student pissed her off again

“Who is this student you say? Do I need to have a chat with them as the Demon Lord of The Devildom? :)?”

Dia actually admires how passionate MC is about her home country, agrees that it’s disrespectful to mislabel someone

Because he can, Dia starts to learn about Colombian culture and throwing parties just for MC

Starts saying shit like “politas pa la rumba!” (I’ll buy beers for everyone¿) just to sound cool to MC

Barbatos💟

Barb doesn’t understand how someone could be so beautiful but so hostile sometimes, overall doesn’t really mind though

Is surprised that such things could conde from MC, kind of chuckles thinking about it

He figured he should try and step in to calm the situation

“Is there anything I can do to ease you, MC?”

It ended up being that Diavolo was completely ignoring her and brushing her aside when he never did that with Solomon

Asks if she’d like him to talk to Dia about it, since he may approach it better than she will

Barb will quietly correct anybody who believes her to be Mexican, just so MC won’t have to deal with their arrogance herself

Takes his free time and makes dishes from Colombia, or Colombian themed cookies or cupcakes to make MC happy :)

Simeon🤍

Is trying to teach MC better ways to respond to idiots, more Angelic ways

When MC blows up for the first time in front of him, the literal shock she sent him into omfg

*GASP* “MC?! WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH VILE THINGS?”

Like, HELLOOO? SHE DARES TO SAY SUCH THINGS IN AN ANGELS PRESENCE?

Helps to calm her down after showing distaste for her words

“You’re lips are to beautiful to speak such sinful things”

Will go on to give MC a long but kind lecture about why exploding like that is bad for her Aura and whatever

Will politely make it known that someone was wrong for assuming MC is Mexican, does get a bit irritated though

He now goes up to MC when she’s getting upset, to remind her to breathe and comfort her with a deep hug :)

“See? It’s ok MC~ just breathe in and out for me, ok? :)”

Solomon⚛️

Will piss MC off on purpose just to see her pop off, he LOVES it

Literally her #1 cheerleader when she blows up, adding on to what she’s upset about

“Period MC” “No way she said that! What a fugly b*tch” “Right, she’s just a hater”

Hypes her up all the time, even when she’s obviously in the wrong

Sol needs ALL the tea, pulls up like “who we talking shit about?”

Will get on someone’s ass just because, now think about when someone mislabels MC😳💥

Gives MC a sense of pride hearing him say “Cagué” when he messes up a potion, he obviously picked that up from her

Luke⛅️

Gets kinda (really) scared when MC becomes a little aggressive

Actually bursts out crying because he was scared MC was mas at him

MC traumatized this kid so bad, he ran to Simeon like he was getting chased be some demons

“M-m-mom is really m-mad and *sobs* I’m s-scared *sobs more*”

MC IMMEDIATELY feels super bad because she scared away his soul

Simeon, having talked to her about it already, mouthed “Apologize now.” In a very not polite manner, kinda scaring MC too🚫🧢

Has MC apologizing PROFUSELY, trying to explain it wasn’t Luke’s fault

Once he calms down, they go to bake cookies like usual, except this time he’s sniffing the whole time :( 💔

I really hope this fit what you asked for :( </3

[shouta-aizawow]

1) Hope u are ok, i will let you this one here. Bakugou coming out as asexual-aromanitc, and having to explain to everyone what is it. (And if you want angst, people not believing him, that he's not grown enough to know, all that bullshit) Sorry is a little bit of proyection.

I’m doing well, thank you!!! And dw, I project HARDCORE and I also LOVE aroace Katsuki so it’s all good!! (i’m actually gonna project a bit in this one lol)

OKAY!!!

When the other kids were busy talking about crushes and who they were dating, Katsuki was focused on becoming a hero.

He had no time for romance, especially that sappy type he always sees on tv.

No, Katsuki was gonna become the greatest hero, and he would do that alone.

He never thought much of it. It didn’t seem unusual to him that he never had an interest in anyone else, that he couldn’t join in on conversations where the topic was romantic love or sexual attraction.

In fact, he felt smug when all the other extras were held down by girlfriends and boyfriends and datemates while he was forging on ahead. Seeing the confusion and awe on their faces when he told them that he had never been attracted to anyone was enough to erase the slight embarrassment he felt at not being able to relate to them.

Katsuki was invincible, unaffected by the curse that is romantic and sexual attraction, and he needs to let everybody know it.

(A few years later, at the tender age of 13, Katsuki finds he isn’t a superior being, he’s just aroace...

Well... okay then.)

He is aroace and still unaffected by the curse that is romantic and sexual attraction!

He didn’t really have friends to share his epiphany with, and the extras that followed him around were too dense to know what he was talking about to care. Besides, they’d probably just hear that he wasn’t attracted to girls and throw a fit.

Anyway, it’s not like he really wants to share this. No, this information is for Katsuki and Katsuki only.

But when he gets into UA, starts building a, admittedly reluctant at first, relationship with his classmates, the desire to tell them something he’s kept locked away grows.

It all comes to a head one night at the dorms. It’s a rare night of him hanging out in the common room with most of his other classmates.

Katsuki doesn’t know how the conversation steers this way, but the topic is now crushes. Some people are coming out, some people are just observing. Katsuki is becoming bored, and just as he gets up to leave, he’s noticed and asked, “Who do you have a crush on?”

He’s tempted to ignore the question, but surrounded by this open group of people that showed their support whenever someone revealed themself to be gay or bisexual or pan, he has the urge to let them know this part of him as well.

So he replies. “I don’t have one.”

“So who did you have a crush on?”

“Never had one either, Earjacks.”

Everyone becomes interested now.

Jirou looks skeptical, “It’s not weak to have a crush, yknow. If you don’t wanna tell us, fine, but to lie—”

“I ain’t lying, I’m aroace.”

There’s silent confusion, and Katsuki’s heartbeat thunders in his chest.

Someone asks what that is and, huffing, Katsuki tells them, “It means I don’t experience romantic, aro, or sexual, ace, attraction.”

They ignore his muttered “dumbasses” in favor of questioning him with a “You don’t, or you haven’t?”

“I just said I don’t. What are you on about?”

Kaminari then decides to speak up. “Dude, just give it time! You don’t know who you’re gonna meet that’ll knock you right off those stubborn feet of yours.” And he punctuates it with a wink.

Katsuki is getting annoyed.

“Okay, whatever. If that happens, that happens, but right now, it hasn’t. Therefore, I’m choosing the label aroace.”

Momo, with a finger on her chin and a contemplative expression on her face decides to voice, “But aren’t you acting a little hasty, Bakugou-kun? You shouldn’t use such a definitive label when you’re so young.”

Some people are voicing their agreement, and Katsuki feels like screaming, but he’s too busy being frozen in shock, looking at Momo with with the most incredulous look he could muster.

“What the actual fuck? How is me calling myself aroace any more ‘definitive’ than y’all calling yourself gay?” He can’t help the crack in his voice as he continues, “I’m genuinely confused.”

Before they could reply, Katsuki asks his own question with the most deadpan look he could offer:

“Do you ever wanna date a cat?”

There are exclamations of “No” and looks of bewilderment, but Katsuki continues, crossing his arms.

“Well I don’t think you should act so certain. I mean, maybe you haven’t met the right cat, yet.”

They’re telling him that that’s different, shouldn’t be used as an argument.

But then Kirishima perks up, and Katsuki feels dread consume him.

“Love, or don’t love I guess, who you... don’t... love, bro!”

And Katsuki feels hope bloom in his chest.

Only to have it crushed with his best friend’s next words.

“But we’re just trying to help you! We don’t want you to feel like you’re moving too fa—“

“Not only did I not ask for any help, but how is any of this helping me?!” Katsuki throws his arms in the air. “I came out to you guys, something we’ve been doing all evening, and you have the audacity to tell me I’m wrong?!”

He’s pacing now.

“Why the hell are you acting like I’m signing a death wish with my identity! You guys are the biggest fucking hypocrites, holy hell.”

Katsuki shakes his head and storms off, unwilling to be in that toxic situation any longer.

The next few days are met with guilt-ridden eyes from his classmates and the cold shoulder from him.

They don’t try to approach him, and for that, Katsuki is grateful, because he doesn’t know what he’d do if the people that rejected who he is tried to act like they did nothing wrong.

Yeah, maybe they weren’t being malicious, maybe it was just ignorance, but Katsuki is by no means obligated to forgive nor teach them. Until they pull their heads out of their asses and realize there’s a plus after LGBTQ for a reason, he’s perfectly fine with the distance.

OKAY SO TWO ENDINGS

1) The class that was there does their research and apologizes and are forgiven and whatnot (happy ending)

2) The class doesn’t do their research and just assumes that Katsuki doesn’t want to have sex or kiss anyone. They apologize, but the relationship is still tense with their ignorant comments and jokes. Katsuki is still hurt, especially when they start dating each other or other students, and he’s left to be the only one that values a strong friendship over romance. He feels left behind. (Angsty ending)

OR WAIT!!! ANOTHER ENDING!!!

3) The class doesn’t apologize or do their research, because they think Katsuki was making a big deal out of nothing. After those few weeks of the silent treatment, they try to approach him and act like everything is great.

Katsuki is angry and hurt, but eventually he finds comfort and very close friendships with Todoroki, Tokoyami, Shinsou, and Shoji. Not all of them are aroace, but they’re on the spectrum for one or both (bittersweet ending)

IM DONE!!! This honestly didn’t go the way I was thinking it would go, but I ain’t upset so it’s all good.

So ofc I projected with the being annoyed when people act like my sexuality isn’t a real thing (which is lots of ppl online and the classmates I told when they asked)

Also, that part about telling people that you’ve never had a crush and being smug when they’re like :0? Yeah, I used to do that until I was 13 when my older sib was like “yeah, you’re aroace” and I was like :0 “i saw that term in one fanfiction years back but i genuinely didn’t think abt it when i looked up to see what ‘ace’ meant but it fits perfectly”

So anyway, my sib also told me that what I was is Agender (which I knew abt but thought “that’s not me,,, right?” wrong) and I realized when they asked me if they could tell their friend my gender identity. I was confused like sure?? and then they said i was agender and their friend asked for my pronouns and i said i didn’t care

like,, i thought i was nb, but i wasn’t sure exactly what “type”(?) idk, but after that, i looked at the definition for agender that i didn’t understand before and was like :0 yep that’s me

ANYWAY YOU PROBABLY DIDNT WANT ALL OF THAT PERSONAL MUMBO JUMBO BUT THIS HC RELATES TO ME A LOT SO

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 💖💗💕💞💝

[lampoest]

by request from @yeessha

Mission Impossible Fallout Thoughts

Like before: cursing and spoilers !!

short logos nice !!

oop starts with lane talking, always a win 😼😼

why does lane have a beard in this dream?

ooh dramatic nice !!

probably one of my favorite openings

this is badass

hhh its my favorite anarchist:)))

ooh cool name

ofc it's about nuclear warfare why not ??

nervous benji = win

sjshsjsgs

that man reminds me of elon musk :\

cant tell if that was tryna be a pg way to say 'fuck off'

where dat money luther ✋🙄🙄

what was that scream !?!

*throws plutonium*

cool car

ooh the shadows on that guys face

man this scene is really good

BENJI STAY WITH THE FUCKING PLUTONIUM WHAT-

well shit-

oh hey that news guy

pulling a sneaky on him

i also love this scene sm

literally everything about the nils delbruuk scene

:0 so cool

benji got to wear a mask >:))))

sjshsjsgsjs they made a bet on it i love that

ethan is very cool

HELL YEAH THEME SONG !!

i can never take hunley seriously

ooh she pretty :))

this movie has great lines

i also love how it goes in depth about moral choices

WALKER YESS :)))))))))) HE SO PRETTY😳😳

also she pretty too :))))

i just realized why former presidents still are protected

i like how they curse more

bro why is walker so :)))))))

btw this is just gonna be me simping literally everyone

the height difference

HALO JUMP HALO JUMP HALO JUMP

ugh fuck off walker you may be pretty but replying with 'crystal' naw fam✋😬😬

yes because we can die

oop they be falling

i dont think that would work but ok if you say so

not even worth it

i couldnt tell what they were saying until i put on captions

although i dont need any captions to understand the french 😼😼

the faint beat in the background v cool

reflexes

breaking things

chekhovs gun

shdhgdhshdjdhdjs why-

dis why you use the needle

damn he beating the shit out of them

ooh its ilsa

ethan why-

ooh she pretty too 😳😳

alright uh badass female is great

that man reminds me of a toddler

strong accusation coming from a terrorist

shsjdgsjs he wearing arm pads like the toddler whos mom is overprotective

WALKER TOO PRETTY:)))))

oop change of plans

LANE LANE LANE LANE

YES MY MAN :))))))))))

motorcycle chase pog

BENJI IN SUSPENDERS BENJI IN SUSPENDERS !!!

well shit-

eyy he killed some dudes

again walker, no one cares

oh dang she has to be careful, her aim is not the best

R U N

vrrm vrrrm

LOVE THIS SCENE YES

you can tell ethan is trying so hard not to punch lane rn

dang lane really flipped the interrogation hats off man

also i lowkey agree with his message. not his method though-

oop pretty ladies

also ethan killed 4 of your men maam

telepathy

SKDHJSJSJSHS YES THIS SCENE LANE SO PRETTY :)))))))))

i love how lane is just standing there vibing while they talk to hunley

benji dont worry youre great

wait i just noticed that benji's outfit is so cool-

skdgdjshs

walker is cool tbh

ILSA !??

this seems awfully familiar

im working on it

its a trap !!!

benjis wtf face there

oop tea ????

im paying attention to outfits so i can recreate their styles

oop i love how it focuses on walker there

true true

sticking up for your friend

no hes just here because they needed more pretty men

waiting for a diversion

in because HE IS LARK MY GOD ETHAN

ALSO THE LITTLE HEAD NOD I CANT-

stole han solos line there

matching jackets😼😼

how did they swap them ??

and how did lane go along ??

chekhovs......knife ??

wow he really fell for it

also more cursing pog

my two favorite characters together :)))))

CHGJFGSJ I CHOKED ON MY WATER KESUS CRISP

....oop i done fucked up

hunley being all cool and shit

benji being all cool and shit

lanes look of dissapointment is 🤌🤌

like damn bro you fell for that !??

lark

he really tryna lie out of it

ooh her-

whyd he say that-

oop betrayal

i love how benji is the first to drop his weapon

so cool

yeah wait where the hell is lane ??

rip hunley

whyd they treat his death like the death of a lover or smth

first wedding crashers, then funeral crashers, what next ?? birth crashers ??

the most tom cruisey sequence ive ever seen. some comedy some crazy stunts and a broken ankle but still finishing the take

chair theft pog

also i love how not just in this scene but before you see helicopters flying around

hes just hanging onto the elevator and the look walker gives him is top notch

ooh blackmail

this feels like the glass box scene. his foes are getting away and there is nothing he can do

its mission impossible for a reason

tea time with luther

ilsa is a good friend

benji is the mvp here

dang im just realizing how pretty ethan is 😳😳

keep your eyes on the road

luther is great, this is all just a luther appreciation post

they-

they-

they all just copied walker's beard

oh no its julia

ah yes one of the bombs

i like how it actually does take about 15 minutes

uhh no❤️ tom cruise why must you feel the need to do this

LANE :)))))

again why does he feel the need-

walker :)))))))

julia is pretty cool

hes just like: what the fuck how- why-

airspeed ah yes the most important part of not dying

this is a julia appreciation post

what was your plan after that? the detonator would just be at the bottom of that lake

the expressions walker makes :))))

hehe bitch

well shit he has a gun

his hair !!!!!

some star wars level action here

bro benji listen to ilsa

sjsgsjgsjsvsjs this shouldn't be so funny

bro ilsa listen to benji

benji stop wasting time

probably last time but, lane !!!!!

found the other bomb

very true statements from walker

other ? bomb ??

no personal space

ooh uhm lane maybe please dont-

the way he just pops his head into frame like: what the fuck was that ?

no sir you didn't survive that. that is false

i love how she clearly has the same fighting style as before

no benji no smooth brain move

mr lane do your shoes need shining ?!?

dey see me rollin-

ofc he gets burnt why the fuck not

uuuhm what✋😀😀 when the hot oil started spraying i felt a drop of what felt like hot oil on my finger. i am in my room and there isnt even water in here. im scared

also how tf is that holding his weight

chekhovs hook

team work makes the dream work

dang keep believing lane keep thinking that ✋🙄🙄

hes still pretty

so close oh no

why do things just magically stop at the edge of cliffs

kesus crisp ethan not again

i love his shoes though -

what if the hook missed though ??

esploded

thats a no from me dawg

his meniachal little smile shdgsjsgsj

its an action film he'll have it

aww lane so sad :((( oh yeah and 1/3 of the world is saved too. good job ig.

THEY PUT MY MAN IN A TRUNK NOOO >:000000

i like how they end as friends not as romantic interests. v nice

i love how this movie highlights the importance of friends but not in a childish way. even as adults friends are important. they are there for you when no one else did. i like that message.

alright thats pretty much it. sorry that its just me simping pretty much. in conclusion this is my favorite movie 14/10 but i can't wait for the 7th movie.

[the-dumbest-po3-au]

part 4 - the dumbest po3 au

its been. nine. montsh im SO SORRY GUYS LMAO

for those of you who dont know what the dumbest po3 au is, click this link

for those of you who have not read the summaries for power of three, part 1 - part 2 - part 3

alright!!!!!!! dovewing time

the fourth apprentice

the book opens w/ ivykit and dovekit in the nursery. ivykit suggests going out to explore the territory and dovekit is like “wow. that sounds like a fantastic idea ivykit you are so smart"

whitewing says No Absolutely Not, and leaves at some point to go make dirt. they sneak out and not 5 minutes later they get lost. dovekit gets blames ivykit for suggesting it and they get into a fight. they both get really mad & dovekit runs off. because shes like a stupid 2 year old gets distracted, rams her head into a rock and passes out. rip dovekit. she wakes up and sees a fox kit coming towards her. she screams.

her head hurts and shes tired and now shes going to die. out of nowhere a huge cat beats up the fox and scares it away. dovekit passes out (again)

when she wakes up, she is next to a cat messing with a bunch of weird plants. the cat sees that she woke up and introduces himself as littlecloud. he asks what her name is. “dove… dove…?? i dont know” says dovekit.

he asks her how she got there, and if she has any family. she does not remember. so littlecloud tells her she’s gonna have to stay here for the time being. he asks her if anything hurts, and dovekit says she thinks may have hit her head.

he gives her some of the weird plants and she goes back to sleep. when she wakes up her head has stopped hurting and she feels a lot better. she gets up to go walk around and is immediately introduced to the tawnyspawn.

tigerpaw is stupid and friendly (and hellbent on being her future best friend). dawnpaw is obnoxious and a bit (read: extremely) condescending but interested. flamepaw is nice and also the only one with half a braincell.

they take her around and introduce her to the rest of the clan. she sees blackstar and is like. “im pretty sure thats my dad” tigerpaw gasps. flamepaw and dawnpaw are like. “What.” “he saved me from the fox im pretty sure thats my dad,” says dovekit

they go harass blackstar. dovekit follows him around like a puppy and the tawnspawn follow her. he has this train of literal 2 yr olds trailing after him and is wildly unhappy about this development. russetfur is also definitely siccing the kids on him to make him mad.

dawnpaw gives dovekit a passionate speech about the clans, but mostly how evil riverclan kicked completely innocent shadowclan out of their home, and how shadowclan has to set everything right and deliver justice to those cringe fail fishheads, or something.

a few days later the tawnyspawn are off doing their own thing and dovekit goes to see whats going on. dawnpaw tries to shut tigerpaw up but he spills the beans anyways. “we’re going to attack riverclan on a Secret Mission so that we can win back shadowclan’s honor and become WARRIORS so you cant tell anybody”

dawnpaw sighs. “dovekit this is for Big Kids Only, so you cant be here.” flamepaw is trying to talk tigerpaw out of doing this in the bg but tigerpaw is being stubborn. dovekit is sad about it but goes back to sulk in camp (and to harass her new dad).

a few hours later tawnypelt runs over to blackstar and is like. “blackstar my children are missing nobody knows where they went”

"oh!! they went to go attack riverclan to get back shadowclan’s territory!” informs dovekit helpfully.

“what.” says blackstar, tawnypelt, and russetfur in unison. the sky immediately opens up and starts Pouring. tawnypelt freaks out. dovekit is like “why cant we just follow the sound of their voices??” but everyone ignores her bc they think shes just being stupid.

“Fine!! ill just go find them on my OWN” says dovekit, following them by the sound of their voices (theyre proally arguing over something stupid).

now four of shadowclan’s children are missing. “you brought that kid here so you get to deal with her,” says russetfur. blackstar sighs dramatically and goes off to find his new child.

dovekit runs into an old man cat. “whatre you doin here??” says old man cat. “im looking for my friends!! whats your name :0? im dovekit!!” “my names purdy!”

blackstar shows up and is like. who tf are you. “this is my new friend purdy!!!” says dovekit. blackstar doesnt even know how to respond. “look we’re going to go back to the camp right now and we’re not taking this dude with us.”

dovekit is like “??? no??? we have to get my friends theyre right over there??” she says pointing in their direction w/ her tail. blackstar is ready to cry. so blackstar and purdy follow dovekit as she leads them closer to riverclan territory where they hear the tawnyspawn screeching like banshees.

they run over and find several cats w/ the tawnyspawn who are pinned down. “if you breathe in my direction ill kill all three of these children,” says a snotty dude.

“who tf are you” says blackstar

“im darktail you insolent snot,” says darktail.

one of his cats grabs dovekit and blackstar snaps. he lunges at darktail while purdy beats up the dude who snatched dovekit. the tawnyspawn take advantage of the moment, escape, and dogpile the other cats. its a disaster.

darktail swears revenge on blackstar till his dying day or something. nobodys really paying attention to him at this point. he runs off w/ his crew. “alright then” says blackstar. this has been a really weird and long day for everyone. blackstar wants to leave purdy but all the children immediately start crying. they bring purdy home.

“holy crap!!! purdy!!!!!” says tawnypelt. “why are you here??” but then she sees her children. she and rowanclaw give them a very stern lecture about Not Running Off Without Telling Anyone (in which tawnypelt is a massive hypocrite but to be fair god told her to)

in the meanwhile, blackstar asks dovekit how tf she knew they were there. “i could hear them, Obviously. ???? cant u not???” blackstar just looks at her. dovekit realizes that probably not everyone shares this ability. blackstar shoos her off and calls a meeting w/ the senior warriors.

dovekit goes off to bother purdy for stories and play w/ the tawnyspawn. nothing particularly interesting happens. blackstar and russetfur call her over later and start assessing her abilities. its only slightly a disaster because shes wildly distracted 80% of the time and her powers are unwieldy bc shes a kit.

cue training. there is a lot of trial, error, and tears (on both sides) but it works out in the end (mostly).

time skip. its been a few months. dovekit becomes dovepaw and blackstar mentors her b/c of her powers. at this point shes gotten control of how to pick out numbers, locations, troops, etc. basically she is a living radar.

blackstar calls another meeting w/ the senior warriors and afterwards calls a clan meeting. “alright losers we’re going to take back our territory and kick riverclan’s butt”

they go over the clan w/ all the cats and begin the trek home. another time skip because that takes a while and nothing particularly interesting happens.

when they get back, the clan stays outside the border while blackstar has dovepaw do a sweep of the territory. she finds a patrol led by a black cat named reedwhisker. blackstar picks a patrol out and they go to ambush the riverclan patrol.

the shadowclan patrol takes reedwhisker + the patrol hostage, but lets one go to tell mistystar. mistystar takes a patrol and comes over. “if you dont give us back our territory i will kill your son” says blackstar. mistystar is like “bro. i dont even want your stupid crusty territory anyways. screw you.”

she takes her son and the rest of the patrol and leaves. another win for shadowclan, obviously. maybe they have a party idk. end of book.

fading echoes

cinderheart has not been doing well. she’s been doing really badly, actually. her best friend died and she blames herself. she’s still grieving and continually lashing out at everyone around her. poppyfrost and honeyfern attempted to be there for her but after the continual rebuffs they decided to just give her space.

unfortunately cinderheart. doesnt have any other friends in thunderclan, so the only person she can talk to is lionblaze. unfortunately theres only so much he can do from windclan, so mostly shes been just been going into a downward spiral.

ivypaw hasnt been doing great either. she feels extremely guilty because she thinks its her fault that dovekit ran away, and when dovekit is never found, it gets 50x worse.

but she also doesnt want to say anything about her involvement in fear of getting punished. as time goes on, she starts getting babied by the clan (almost like leopardstar when she was a kid) because her sister disappeared and she took it really hard.

and like on one hand, she likes the attention, but on the other hand its too much a lot of the time. she starts adopting this “stop babying me!1!1!!!”/kinda edgy persona. the clan takes it like shes grieving, and she’ll grow out of it, so they dont say too much.

so the book opens w/ ivypaw and fernpaw’s apprentice ceremony. brief context about how fern was recently found by the thunderclan border w/o parents and taken into the clan. fernsong is apprenticed to brightheart. ivypool is apprenticed to cinderheart.

firestar probably thinks that they might be able to bond/break through to each other because they recently lost a sister/adjacent sister. neither of them are particularly enthusiastic about it.

cinderheart isnt particularly invested in ivypaw’s training. ivypaw can tell and gets rightfully frustrated, bc brightheart and fernpaw are getting along great and making lots of progress, while ivypaw is falling behind becuase cinderheart is being a terrible mentor.

ivypaw starts fighting back (disobeying, talking back, etc.), partially because this is the only time she gets paid attention, and partially because shes just mad, which makes cinderheart mad, which then makes ivypaw fight back more. this causes cinderheart to become more and more distant. in short: ivypaw’s apprenticeship is a disaster.

at some point during training, theyre practicing climbing trees and cinderheart tells ivypaw to do something. to spite her, ivypaw does the opposite and ends up falling, dislocating her leg. cinderheart panics and cinderpelt emerges.

cinderpelt basically possesses cinderheart and relocates her arm. they go back to camp and take ivypaw to the medicine cat den, gives ivypaw some poppy seeds and ditches.

“wow um. wtf was that” says cinderheart. leafpool is like, “hahaha………… about that. you’re um… cinderpelt reincarnated.”

“what.” says cinderheart

“CINDERHEART IS CINDERPELT REINCARNATED???” screams foxleap at the top of his lungs in the middle of camp. whatever was left of cinderheart’s life shatters.

so now instead of ignoring her, the entire camp won’t leave her alone - except now they just treat her as they would cinderpelt. “hey cinderheart remember when [enter something that happened in the old forest here]??” “hey cinderheart can you fix my paw??” “hey cinderpelt-” “are you going to become a medicine cat then??”

to pour more salt into the wound, cinderheart now gets a free commentary on everything in her life!! (this definitely includes lionblaze) there used to be sort of a barrier between cinderheart/cinderpelt but since cinderpelt emerged/took control, it shattered.

so between cinderpelt complaining about all the terrible decisions she’s made and the entire clan pretending that she’s cinderpelt instead of a Completely Different Person, when hawkfrost shows up w/ an invite to fight club on the weekends cinderheart is more than happy to take him up.

sure hawkfrost is wildly annoying and clearly hates her guts for some reason (no matter how hard he pretends not to whenever tigerstar is around) but this is great for three reasons.

1) nobody in the dark forest has any idea she’s cinderpelt. 2) warrior training!! emphasizing she is a Warrior not a medicine cat. 3) time away from cinderpelt!! they arent the same soul so they cant read each other’s thoughts (unless theyre trying to communicate) and cant share dreams

so she might be purposely oblivious. whatever. she doesnt even know who hawkfrost is b/c anybody outside of riverclan immediately forgot about him because he really was not very effective at all. and its not like hes about to start spilling the beans until shes ready to be indoctrinated w/ dark forest propaganda.

meanwhile, tensions between shadowclan and thunderclan have been rapidly rising. again. prey is being stolen, scents are on other territories, patrols get into skirmishes often.

firestar is hurt because he was trying to get mistystar to lay off on the territory and blackstar is mad because they literally Just got back and thunderclan is ALREADY trying to reinstate old rivalries.

cinderheart really isnt paying attention to what’s going on cuz shes. more than a little wrapped up in her own problems. until it turns into a war.

this battle feels way more vicious than normal. cinderheart tries to recall how this whole thing started and realizes she has absolutely no idea what tf is going on???

throughout the fight she notices weird stuff happening. mousewhisker and redwillow nod to each other. ratscar + blossomfall swap glances. applefur pulls snowbird off thornclaw’s back. literally wtf thinks cinderheart

and then russetfur takes a stab at firestar. out of nowhere, thornclaw goes for her throat. cinderheart barely saves russetfur in the nick of time - the injuries are bad enough that she is forced to retire.

“screw literally everyone in thunderclan except u” blackstar says pointing @ cinderheart “and i hope the rest of you rot in the dark forest.” he rounds the rest of shadowclan up and then leaves.

“well that was weird” says cinderheart. she goes off to find ivypaw and realizes that shes. not responding. oh thats a lot of blood-

cinderpelt pops up again and works w/ cinderheart to patch up ivypaw until she’s stable. they bring her into the medicine den together and let leafpool look her over. she says that they made it in time and ivypaw will live. she leaves to go look after the other patients, leaving cinderheart with her apprentice

cinderheart realizes that this is her fault. had she actually paid attention to ivypaw and given her proper training, this wouldn’t have happened. she resolves to try a lot harder to be a good mentor for ivypaw’s sake.

cinderpelt approves and apologizes for being so intrusive on cinderheart’s life. she really doesnt want to be in here either - this was a decision the idiots in starclan forced on her. she was taking it out on cinderheart, which wasn’t fair for her.

cinderpelt promises to try to give cinderheart as much privacy as she can (while trying to figure out how to get out of her brain). cinderheart thanks her. there’s a brief bonding moment.

cinderpelt says that since ivypaw seems stable she’s going to go to sleep now, since she exhausted herself earlier.

just as cinderpelt goes out to the back of cinderheart’s mind, blossomfall comes storming in about how cinderheart messed the plan up and how cinderheart screwed everything up for everyone & she’s a traitor to the cause, Honestly cinderheart you’re so useless-

“literally wtf are you talking about” says cinderheart

“you saved russetfur,” blossomfall says. “if we take out the leaders and deputies, we can destabilize the clans enough that taking over will be a piece of cake. are you a dark forest trainee or not, cinderheart?”

end of book

[uniformbravo]

melts into the floor.......................... that episode was so good................... it was SO good...................

like fuck dude i dont even know what to say i love nishimura & kitamoto so MUCH bro i can’t handle this im gonna PASS OUT i want 30 more episodes about just the two of them and natsume i need it....... o hmy god......... fUC im a mess

when natsume told kitamoto he wants to stay in this town forever because he loves it here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that line fuckin DECKED ME i CANNOT handle when he says shit like that i CANT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES SO HAPPY HERE it’s the ONLY place he’s ever really like really been happy, how could he ever want to leave, or move on? the sad way he says “i know it’s probably impossible, but i’d like to stay here” is so............. that feeling of being in such a good place, a time of so much happiness, and knowing it can’t last forever, existing in this way indefinitely.... GOD that hits hard 

also i love LOVE how both stories were about not only their individual experiences befriending natsume but ALSO both involved youkai in some way like god fuck oh my god i die for any scrap of that shit w/ these two??? i kno its literally the last thing natsume wants but PLS i love the idea of them getting involved in youkai stuff so much i NEED it ghggngh

Natsume Is Their Weird Friend And They Love Him Very Much god nishimura finds him passed out in the woods and IMMEDIATELY runs over to help him and all but DRAGS him to his house to get him to rest like PLEASE that is the aggressive nishimura love we like to SEE, that “if ur not gonna take care of urself then i guess I’M just gonna have to do it HUH” attitude he has ghgufhghg nishimura’s like “take care of yourself Or Else 🔫”

ALSO when kitamoto hears natsume talking to the youkai and assumes he’s getting bullied and FLIES into the room BOTH TIMES ready to defend him hello???? HELLO?????? that is some A PLUS SHIT MY DUdES, MY BOYS OUT HERE READY TO DEFEND MY BOY WE LOVE TO SEE IT,

when natsume mentions that he also lives on the second floor of his house and nishimura’s like woah that’s the first time i’ve ever heard him talk about himself hhu huuoOUH UUOHGOUHUOOU UHUOUOHUHUGHHGHhhH natsume slowly opening up to them......... letting himself be a little more honest w them...... WAIT THAT THOUGHT MAKES THAT ONE EPISODE SO MUCH SADDER the one w the culture festival and the theme of the ep was being honest w/ his friends and how much he can trust them with etc

they can get him to come out of his shell and smile more and spend time with them but no matter what they do he can never open up to them fully, there always has to be secrets between them, he has to keep a whole side of himself hidden from them oh noooooooo aaaaAAAAAA

AND THEY NOTICE when he’s being guarded too, they can tell when he closes himself off like that AAAAAAAAAAA nishimura talking about natsume’s fake smiles and kitamoto talking about his eyes like glass oughgoughuhfuofhghh no matter what they do there will always be moments where natsume hides himself from them again and they can’t really fully understand why so then you get scenes like that one in the culture festival ep where they urge natsume to be more genuine and honest with them and natsume instantly clams up again and they just have to accept that and i just. they just :(((((((((((((((

(but the fact that they’re able to get him to open up even as much as he has is....... i hope they realize what a huge fucking deal that is)

other things from this ep tho, nishimura yells at natsume about the paper cranes and then later after everything’s resolved he helps teach him how to make them......... he’d said it’s something every kid learns to do but the fact is that natsume didn’t learn so he helps him learn now and GOD it’s just like the bike thing all over again i SCREAM natsume getting to experience things now that he never could as a kid is just an instant fucking KO every goddamn time and nishimura and kitamoto are so often the ones making it happen and i just DIE ok i die fuckin hell gOD,

(sidenote back in the library when nishimura’s like “why don’t you just ask touko to help you learn why do you have to come to the library and learn from some book” and natsume’s like “i wanted to make sure i could actually do it before offering to help with the cranes” hoo OOOUHHHHH

wants to make sure he’ll actually be useful.... doesn’t want to embarrass himself by failing to be helpful and wasting her time AS IF she would see it even REMOTELY like that god she’d be so touched whether he could make 500 or 0 of them bc the fact that he offered to help at all means a lot more than he could ever imagine PLEASE i fall to the floor)

and the fact that nishimura’s issue is wanting natsume to rely on him more... when he blows up at him that’s his main deal, like. holy shit. this youkai has attached itself to him and is amplifying his stress and frustration to the point that he takes it out on natsume and even then it’s not “you’re weird, you’re a freak, leave me alone, stop talking to me,” it’s “why won’t you rely on me? why are you so distant? i’m trying so hard and you won’t even look at me” and that’s so monumental, especially in natsume’s case like. i think in a weird way that meant a lot to natsume??? like fuck, nishimura runs off and natsume goes after him to save him from the youkai, and afterward, when he’s talking to nyanko sensei, he says that nishimura is a good guy and that he’s important to him like..... LIKE........ FUC NISHIMURAS SO GOOD FUCk

and then there’s when natsume speaks so openly and genuinely about certain things that kitamoto’s surprised because social norms categorize those kinds of things as too embarrassing to just outright say to someone, and he’s like “hmm he really must not have learned those things when he was younger huh” (which, A) but then later, “i’m glad he’s able to be open like this” 🥺

i also LOVE how much this ep focused on each of their individual lives, like with nishimura’s brother and kitamoto’s sister & father...... Things That Make You Love Characters Even More ghfhgh like my love for them has always been mostly within the context of their friendship with natsume, but this was the first time they actually stood out as individuals and HEY it turns out i love them both on their own merit too WOWIE i love them theyre so good hey nishimura and kitamoto???? ARE GOOD

in conclusion i just....... they both meet this boy and think that he’s strange and quiet but they both give him a chance and accept him for who he is and it’s so good they are so so good this ep fuckin annihilated me thank FUCKING god it exists im gonna bask in it forever now holy shit thank u aaaaaaaAAAA

[askthetotallynotlosersclub]

write streddie being soft uwu

Stan: *is doing a puzzle like a quirky kid*

Richie: *is trying to help at said puzzle but failing*

Eddie: Richie you just took my piece!!

Richie: Well it was in the wrong spot!!

Stan: *doesnt pay attention bc P U Z Z L E Y U M Y U M*

Eddie: what do you mean?! It fit into the other ones!!!

Richie: No it didn’t!!

Stan: *almost finishes puzzle yum yum*

Eddie: DEAR LORD- IM SORRY STANLEY BUT THIS IDIOT DOESNT KNOW HOW PUZZLES WORK....but it looks very nice to *smiley boye and kisses his forehead*

Richie: *>:(* Edward bullies me

Stan: *finished puzzle :D* Look it’s done!!!

Eddie: awe that looks very nice Stanley!! And Richie you know I love you to death *kiss*

Richie: I feel unloved- let’s watch a movie, boyfriends

Stan: Can we watch a scary one?

Eddie: I swear you two hate me sometimes- *sits on the couch*

Stan: Nooooo *also sits on the couch* *cuddle part 1*

Richie: Eddie is literally a bully *sits next to edward* *leeches to boyfriends part 1 and 2*

Eddie: you guys know I hate scary movies! Last time I peed myself!!

Stan: It wasn’t even a scary movie-

Richie: It was scooby doo

Eddie: *crosses his arms* and?

Stan: You could just not watch the movie with us?

Richie: *puts on the hip movie uhh poltergeist yeah lmao that’s scary*

Eddie: okay peace out! *runs to his room*

Time: kachow

Richie: EDWARD

Stan: Eddieeeeeee

Eddie: *is sleeping in the other room*

Stan: *finds the b0y* *:0* *sits next to eduardo* *Q U I E T*

Richie: *:0 part 2* *plays with edward’s hair oop* *Q U I E T*

Eddie: *wakes up but is v v v tired* oh hi guys *yawn*

Richie: aloha *continues to play with edwards hair*

Stan: *stan* hi

Eddie: *is like half asleep* you know I love you guys

Stan: *uwu* *leeches to the eduardo* yeah we know

Richie: we love you too, dork

Eddie: *hugs the Stan and falls back asleep*

Stan: *sleep oclock*

Richie: *sleep oclock part 2*

Time: kachow

Rain: kapow

Eddie: *wakes up and it's dark out* Stanny?

Stan: *sl33p*

Eddie: hhhhhhh *sits up but cannot bc thy Roach*

Thunder: KACHOW

Rain: YEEHAW

Eddie: *screams bc of thy thunder*

Richie: *literally falls* FUCK

Stan: *awakens* What-??

Eddie: sorry guys- I'm not the best with thunder storms-

Thunder & Lightning: A

Richie: *roach* *hugs edward*

Stan: *hugs edward part 2*

Eddie: you guys are gonna suffocate me *giggly boye*

Richie: good *teehee giggly boye part 2*

Stan: noooo!! *giggly boye part 3*

Eddie: wow thanks Richie *kiss uwu*

Richie: yeahhh i’m tired- *sleep lmao* *also leech tho*

Stan: *pat* it’s really late

Thunder: ahaha H

Eddie: I know...I'll try to sleep

Stan: good! *kiss úwù* i’m going to sleep *sleep oclock*

Thunder: PENIS SAUCE

Eddie: *falls asleep cuddling the Stan*

Morning: peenids

Stan: *sleep sleep sleep*

Richie: *sleep sleep sleep*

Eddie: *is in the kitchen making breakfast* richie! Stanley!! Breakfast!!

Richie: *aWAKENS* F00D *falls into the kitchen ouchies* ouch

Stan: *awakens* *walks like a NORMAL PERSON* i’m tired *stan*

Eddie: *runs over to Richie* are you okay?

Richie: probably *ouchie there’s a bruise on his arm lmao* *s t an d*

Stan: you’re such an idiot

Eddie: yeah but he's our idiot *hugs the Richie from the side*

Richie: *kisses the edward uwu* thank you both for calling me an idiot

Stan: *hugs the b0yfriends* no problem idiot

Eddie: I love you guys so much but GOD DAMMIT THE EGGS ARE BURNT

Richie: you look like a burnt egg

Stan: don’t bURN THE HOUSE DOWN

Eddie: sit down on the couch or something- I'll have to remake breakfast

Stan: Alright *sits on the couch*

Richie: okay my guy *sits on the stan*

Eddie: Richie- you're going to crush Stan

Richie: too BAD

Stan: iM FINE-!

Eddie: I'm still confused about how you two like each other

Richie: *DRAMATIC GASP* Excuse you Stan loves me!

Stan: I do that’s a fact right there

Eddie: I'm so offended

Stan: Dont burn the house down, Eddie

Richie: *l33ch*

Eddie: I won't burn the house down, breakfast is done! Come eat before it gets cold

Richie: *l e a p s off stan and goes to the kitchen 😔👊*

Stan: *stans into the kitchen*

Eddie: *gets his own breakfast and sits on the couch*

Richie: *gets f00d and sits on the coffee table*

Stan: *gets f00d and sits next to edward* Rich, what the hell are you doing

Eddie: richie what the actual hell- *picks him up and puts him on the couch*

Richie: nooooo *goes back on the coffee table*

Stan: right, okay- can we go to the zoo today?? i want to see the bIRDS

Eddie: sure Stan- we can go see the birds

Stan: cool!!

Richie: can we get food there teehee

Eddie: sure Richie! And Stan I cant wait to Christmas so like *gives him a pet bird*

Stan: IT’S SO CHONKY *B I R D*

Richie: thats a sexy bird- where the fuck did you get money, Eds?

Eddie: I've been saving it up!

Richie: nice job, my guy

Stan: *birdbirdbirdbird* *:D*

Eddie: *kisses the Stan*

Stan: *kisses the edward*

Richie: ewww get a room

Eddie: you guys have literally made out on front of me before

Stan: you WATCHED??

Richie: ewwww eddie watches porn

Eddie: what!? No! I was watching tv

Stan: how did you know then?? we were like- in the other room??

Richie: no we weren’t dumbass

Eddie: it seems like every time I kiss one of you and other one makes fun of me!

Richie: calm yourself my guy *kisses the edward owo*

Stan: what he said minus the my guy part *kisses the edward after roach*

Eddie: hhhhhhhhhh *hugs the roach from the side*

Richie: *leeches to the edward* your hair is soft

Stan: include me you dorks *also leeches*

Eddie: watch me fall asleep again-

Stan: you better not because then I’ll fall asleep

Richie: and I’d get time alone and who wants that ew

Eddie: *yawns*

Richie: *kisses the edward’s forehead* wow what a cutie

Stan: I know right?

Eddie: stop it *hides under a blanket*

Stan: noooo come back *s natches edward*

Richie: *:(*

Eddie: *is in the Stans lap now*

Richie: *kisses the stanley and the edward*

Stan: *hugs the b0ys*

Eddie: *kisses the Stan for like 2 minutes*

Stan: *O W O* *y e e h a w*

Richie: gET A ROOOOM

Eddie: STANLEY WHY

Stan: *red intensifies* i don’t know-

Richie: HAHA GAY

Eddie: *v v v v v red boye* i-

Richie: you two are cowards, if i was in stan’s position right now you’d have to go to the doctor from all the bruises

Stan: *GAY PANIC*

Eddie: R-ICHIE)!!-

Richie: I’m just telling the truth

Stan: *red x28338383*

Eddie: *yeehaw to the Stan* I'm sorry-

Stan: *AHHH* *R E D*

Richie: god get a room this is classified as porn

Eddie: oh shush Rich *kiss uwu*

Richie: *Y E E H A W BR O* rekt amirite

Stan: *dYing*

Eddie: Richieeeeeee *hides and hugs him*

Richie: *hugs the stanley and the edward* you two are nerds

Stan: *red flavor*

Eddie: *cuddles up to the Richie* cold

Richie: *plays with eduardo’s hair heehaw*

Stan: *sleeps bc this is too much red is bad*

Eddie: *falls asleep with the Stan*

Richie: *also sleep heehee*

Phone: kachow my guy

Stan: ughhh *awakens to answer the phone*

Eddie: Stanny what's wrong?

Stan: shhhh phone call *answer phone* oh hi *phone talk*

Eddie: okay...*goes back to sleep*

Stan: *phone talk for an hour wtf* ok bye *phone hang up* *lays back down with the b0yfriends*

Eddie: Stanleyyyyyyy *lays on top of him*

Stan: oh- hi- *holds the edward and the roach’s hands bc owo*

Richie: *probably fuckimg— hibernating*

Eddie: *gives him a kiss but he's like v tired*

Stan: I’m tired bbbye *sleep oclock*

Eddie: *falls asleep on the Stan*

Later o’clock: hola

Richie: *awakens to make a grilled chhhheese*

Stan: *sleep?*

Eddie: *still sleep on stan*

Richie: *sits next to the b0ys and eat a good and cool sandwich* *uwu energy*

Stan: *aWAKENS*

Eddipe: *nuzzles the stan in his sleepp*

Stan: *pat pat* what time is it?

Richie: how should i know? we slept all day though, it’s dark again

Eddie: *wakes up but is very sleepy* huh

Richie: *s andwich* look who finally woke up

Stan: *quiet clapping*

Eddie: oh shush *nuzzle uwu*

Richie: *cough cough* gAy *cough cough*

Stan: you’re literally our boyfriend shut up

Eddie: I'll attack you with affection young man *jump on the rouch*

Richie: OH SHIT *falls over ouch* *giggly boye teehee*

Stan: *witnesses*

Eddie: *is on top of the roach behind the couch*

Richie: wow this is pretty gay

Eddie: oh so you don't like me being on top of you?

Richie: no, i’d rather be on top of you *teehee kiss owo*

Eddie: *big blush man*

Richie: *yeehaw x22*

Eddie: Stan helppppppppppp

Bev: *walks in* OH JEEZ

Stan: Hi bev- theyre fucking don’t mind them

Richie: nO WE ARENT

Eddie: *runs and jumps on Bev* HI BEV

Bev: HI EDDIE! IM STEALING YALLS BOYFRIEND

Richie: shit dude don’t do that *stAnds*

Stan: nooooo

Bev: oh- I came over here to ask you guys if you wanted to come to the mall with me! I got my driver's license very early for some reason but yeah!

Stan: Oh sure!!

Richie: bro the fuckimg mALL?

Bev: yes the mall idiot!! Okay who wants to carry this thing *points to eddie*

Richie: I don’t know I think he should walk beside the car, honestly

Stan: hmmm maybe

Eddie: wow yall are so nice

Stan: oh shut up we love you

Richie: accurate

Eddie: *puts on his purse (bev got him it) and runs out the door* GET IN LOSERS WE'RE GOING SHOPPING!!

Bev: I TAUGHT HIM THAT

Richie: what the hell why

Stan: uHHHH

Bev: JUST HURRY UP LETS GO!! YALL BETTER NOT GET NOSEBLEEDS BECAUSE IM WARNING YOU, EDDIE LIKES FOREVER 21

Stan: oh god- *car*

Richie: fucking christ *car*

-at the mall-

Eddie: WHERE ARE WE GOING FIRST

Bev: i dont know- Hooters?

Richie: I’m gay

Stan: I’m also gay

Bev: Yeah okay but they have good wings-

Eddie: oh I have a friend that works here! We can get free wings

Richie: is it your mom? i want to see her working at hooters

Stan: no what the fuck rich

Eddie: Richie-!!

Richie: what i’m just telling the truth

Stan: oh my god

Eddie: *holds Stans hand*

Stan: *:D*

Richie: *insect*

Eddie: *kisses the Stans cheek*

Homophobic couple: we. That's just not right! You boys are way too young

Stan: *>:”0*

Richie: eXCUSE YOU don’t INSULT my BOYFRIENDS *>:(*

Homophobic couple: there's 3 of you?? A couple is only 2 people, a boy and a girl! And that short one already looks like a girl so I guess it's fine

Richie: I will fuckign fight you *>:(*

Stan: no richie calm down *holds back the roach lmao*

Eddie: SHUT THE HELL UP! THIS FANNYPACK IS STYLISH

Richie: iT MAKES YOU LOOK HOT

Stan: Richard calm yourself good lord

Homophobic couple: ugh whatever *pushes the Eddie and walks away*

Eddie: oh well *flips his imaginary long hair*

[imagines-mha]

heya dude, could i get a matchup for haikyuu, n bnah? OK SO, i need a man who‘s into lolis bc even after way too many years i still look like a goddamn 12 yr old, so he has to be okay with the fbi busting through the door everytime he gets close to me 😔✊😔✊((JKJK but not really //CRIES)). i‘m super clingy and kinda possessive, the scorpio in me is SCREAMING- also i should prbly mention that according to my birthchart i‘m the biggest scorpio you‘ll ever meet?? (1/3)

please don‘t ask IT‘S BAD. yeah, if i like u and i decide that ur good enough to keep me from doing dumb stuff and getting into accidents (bc my situational awareness is = 0), i will pretty much follow u around like a smol duckling. i kind of get babied alot, but if im being honest, i actually enjoy it 8) LOL. i‘m a BIG SLUT for affection like,,, c,an we h,,h,,,hold hands?? cuddle?? kiss?? BUT im also a pretty cool noodle OK? my talent is to counter anything with a super smootj line ;). [2/3)

BIG INTROVERT RIGHT HERE, so loud parties with big crowds are a big nono here 8(. i‘m a sucker for cute cafés tho and just spending some good quality time together 8). i‘m also hecka short and even though it gets kinda annoying, it‘s perfect to hug other ppl bc everyone‘s automatically ur personal teddy huehue. me having 0 braincells makes me zone out alot and i‘m generally a big stupid beat. thank u for ur time and have a good day!! stay sexy n cool 8). xoxo gossip girl ;^) (3/3)

Dude. Imma be real for a moment i relate to u as a person sm i think we might be twins 😳😳 Also i look like a fuckin 12 year old too i feel u dude i hope u enjoy ur awesome love u 💫💕💕💫

HAIKYUU!!

I ship YOU with: BOKUTO

🖤 Listen my man. My bro. I was tempted to base this shit off star signs because i am one SLUT for astrology but damn naw i see you both making it work sorry stars xx. You both just seem SO alike!! It’s actually a MIRACLE

🖤 This man has no problemo with the fact you look like you’re 12 and you’re hella short. He LOVES to be your personal teddy and will 100000% baby you dude. Picking you up? Yes. Yeeting you playfully into the couch? YES. Y’all would make such a chaotically adorable relationship you would send the entire team into mom mode™️ to take care of you both. You both share a braincell and it can get you into danger sometimes but it’s all about the memories my dude 😎

🖤 He LOVES to go out with you. He has a secret soft spot, and you’d be able to make him weak to the knees with your smoothness/ even if it’s a joke. Also he’d just love goin to little cafes with you and having a little chat about life y’all would look like SO CUTE. He’s a party boi but if he saw a crowd that you didn’t like he would immediately just pick u up jetpack style and zoom u out of there. It’s not a party if his angel isn’t there.

MHA

i ugh u give me mad kaminari energy so i’m not gonna ship u with him just to spice it up a bit 😎

Listen ok i ship you with: SERO (damn ur a lucky gal cus u have to be GREAT for me to match my man up w u)

🧡 He’s the ‘mature’ one of the Bakusquad- or at least as mature as they get. I feel like he’d really like your appearance idk he loves the fact you’re so smol cus he’s a long boy u know he needs that little princess he can pick up and smooch and u could be that gal

🧡 Once he meets you he will devote ALL his love to you. He has so much of it to give and the boy will literally bring you flowers every day of the week what the actual fuck he’s perfect. If u don’t like flowers that’s ok cus he’ll substitute it w ur favourite food or something he’s amazing. Always has those inspiring and reassuring words to cheer u up

🧡 He’ll actually take such good care of you like he’s the 1 braincell you need. He’s so damn cuddly and affectionate and your company >> anyone else’s. He’d prefer to sit in with you and have big deep talks™️ than go out with the crazy ass bakusquad any day. He’s a softie too he LOVES a good café and you guys would just chill together there in your own lil world

[ramblingshit]

Fright Night - 1985 - 3.5/5

Highly oversimplified fun ‘modern’ teen adventure book-style take on Dracula - i think?

i am having a fuckking awful night please let this be half okay at least funny like please. right we have some poor audio. tom holland is here? some chick is going on about how much she likes the dark - she’s mina? pale, red lips peeps are making out - it’s just someone squeaking their lips together and then letting go lmao wtf - it’s a tv show about vampires lol this acting is amazing i think its supposed to be he literally just went after her with the blunt end of the stake damn. some more squeaking kisses gross. kids making out, peter vincent is on TV or some shit. boyfriend has wandering hands and she’s told him twice to stop and now he’s bitching at her for not letting him feel her up and then she apologises? excuse me? and now he’s guilted her into doing it? oh damn that’s a nice chocolate coffin where’d he get those binoculars ahaha oh yikes that girl is not ready and now he’s ignoring her oh what is happening. mum’s getting involved. he wanted to fuck she didn’t then she wanted to fuck and he was distracted by some guys carrying a coffin into the basement of the house next door. he’s so distracted he’s completely ignoring his girlfriend.oh damn he pissed off his friend too this guy seems like a dumbass. ew gross oh my god she’s dressed like a prostitute what is that blue thing and the opaque beige hosiery is horrific. it’s funny at this point lots of these clothes are coming back into fashion. then there are those of course that must die and stay dead. damn a big ol scream from the house next door and a light went out. fuckin hell he wait she’s apologising for his  dumbass and said it’s her fault and he’s like yeah i suppose it was like what. i know this is supposed to be like this like he’s clearly supposed to be a terrible boyfriend but fuck he is barely pretending to care about her - he said ‘i love you’ and she’s gooing all over him. now he’s ignoring her again and here’s his weird looking friend who thinks its hilarious oh my god she slapped a hamburger cheese onion and tomato hamburger patty on his face disgusting but damn he deserves it. whoop a guy in the basement just saw this kid snooping - is he seriously just gonna open this guy’s basement doors unsurprisingly dude came and snapped at him like wtf you think you’re doing. he’s obsessed with this house all of the sudden? eating chips at his window with his binoculars. now asleep in that chair and hot damn there’s a couple about to fuck  and tittiiiiiieesssssss. oh damn mate is a vampire looking straight at the kid through the window. just staring. then closes the window with long ass fingers with long yellow nails. just woke his mum up like ma new guys a vampire and she’s like fuck off and he’s sneaking about outside what the hell is this kid on. oh they’re carrying out bodies in garbage bags and what i think they’re trying to show they’ve got sick powers or something there’s this synth beat in the background those are the largest collar flap things i’ve ever seen and that red scarf is sick a lot is happening bro red scarf dude just caught annoying kid charlie spying at them from the hedges. oh shit he’s screaming at his mother and his girlfriend what an ass - Amy is obsessed with their relationship, Mum thinks he’s having a nightmare. he’s the dumbass in the horror movie - running around screaming, telling everyone the guys a vampire killing people getting the police involved like dumbass what teh fuck this is gonna be embarrassing you think if they really are vampires they’re gonna be dumb enough to let themselves get caught. oh what he’s yelling again and interesting there’s a painting of a blonde version of Amy. is this dracula 1980s version. the house is all cobwebs and old timey shit. dumbass getting screamed at by the cop for screaming about his neighbour being a vampire he’s got no evidence but just keeps screaming. you deserve to die like 0% self-preservation skills m8. is he racing home no to his friend’s house his weird friend who’s somewhat more mental than this dumbass - give him eight bucks to tell him how to protect himself from a vampire attack he’s listing off stereotypical shit but i doubt any of this will be legit they all like dangling those and scoffing at them. he’s nailing his window shut but hey guess who mum’s invited innnnnnnnnn ahahahahahahah lol oh damn who sits in a chair like that well hello bruce banner hot edition. hm his fingers look normal now. aahahhaha oh fuck he out here telling charlie he wouldnt have come to visit unless he had been invited and now that he had been he would be over whenever he liked. charlie the dumbass is not trying to hide how terrified he is out here backing away, eyes wide, shaking, Jerry the vampire just staring at him. 'see ya! soon.’ scrambling up the stairs - like just mayyyyybe you shouldn’t have immediately done all you can to piss off the guy you think is a vampire. cause now he’s on your roof. i can’t believe his name is Jerry. this is so 80s. this music man. who chills in a button up shirt all tucked in . is that a mouse? or the trees scratching oh shit jerry’s after the mum. or not. oh fuck there’s no reflection in the mirror and he just broke her door? oooop he’s in dumbass’ roommmm or is he - yep he was hiding in the closet???? is this a metaphor??? howdily hoodily. oh damn yeeted him into his closet. they’re not giving bruce banner very good camera angles. we’re only 30 minutes in and he and the vampire are chilling out, being held up by his throat - ohh broody vampire time. bruce no don’t throw him out the window that’s so obviousoh but damn there’s he’s gonna stake him with a pencil ahaha what oh fuck nosferatu time damn all because of a pencil fuck that is not sexy. he looks like a lord of the rings troll. they both look hella nervous that mum’s knocking on the door. he threatened to kill him, offered him a choice for them to forget each other, he said nah, he tried to kill him, he stabbed him with a pencil, then he roared all scary and buggered off. odd. now he’s just sat down and watched some–dracula ahaha he’s watching dracula? now he’s calling him up ahaha staring at him through the window calling him up on the phone. 'you started this - im gonna finish it!’ like calm down vampire man the boy is a dumbass. this is cheesy but like okay. he legit seems like a proper dumbass teenager kid all overexcited and dramatic and learning all he knows from TV oh damn he’s like a school shooter, wife beater kinda kid though. ahah shitting on friday the 13th calm down that’s a good movie. does this peter vincent actually believe in vampires cause this kid is hoping he does - he’s got those brown elbowed jacket how old is this high school aged kid. ejesus what the fuck is that moped holy shit. white sneakers that blue knitwear holy shit what the fuck what the fuck charlie dead eyes, monotone sitting in his bedroom he’s filled with religious paraphernalia, dozens of candles and stacks of wood he’s carving into stakes - his GF and friend come in like yo wtf m8 what is all this - he just shrugs and tells em he’s gonna go next door and stab the neighbour. um what the fuck jesus hes crazy he’s weird friend who can’t act thinks so too and eyy the peter vincent late night show is called 'Fright Night’ and the weird kid just said their situation is just like 'Fright Night’ and guess what this movie is called – this is pretty intense like how am I supposed to be taking this is it funny, is it dramatic? this kid looks like he’s gonna pass out he’s having some sort of episode. 'hey amy, you don’t believe me do you.’ 'i love you charlie.’ hm vincent knows whats up amy and weird kid go to see him to help their crazy friend and he’s like oh yeah that insane kid he needs a psychiatrist yo ahaha gets fired gets an eviction notice refuses to help the kids cause he’s very busy about to get rich she’s like i’ll pay you - how much he asks immediately - she tells him—i’ll take it, no hesitation ahaha we’re not even half in? oh damn vincent is in love with his acting i think his shows used to be a lot more popular and now he’s sad and fading and ey its bruce banner all bedraggled they literally called him up to ask if they could go over with dumbass and prove to him brucey boy is not a vampire he thinks its hilarious like damn just calling up vampires and shit i love it so casual like he’s just a neighbour not all heavy handed but needs a little less cheese but eh who can find a golden middle did he just eat a banana. holy hot damn her outfit - he’s outfit, holy shit vincent is here all in his role dressed as the vampire killer, performing for dumbass - damn the house does look appropriately spooky tho god this kid doesn’t shut up they all just wandering into the vampire’s house - Charlie gets a special greeting and here is ol mate all dramatic in a fucking turtleneck please kill me. he’s eating food again? whoop amy and bruce banner just had a moment she’s so pretty but her hair is so fukn eighties and now he’s kissing her hand and she’s giggling and biting her lip 'oh god, he’s neat!’ he didn’t drink that he totally used a tricky magic trick dunno how but he didn’t drink that. Charlie isn’t wrong - pulled out a cross and Bruce Banner jumped back and his jim carrey lackey stepped forward and Banner is threatening his friends like fuck off - 'so you’re finally convinced im not a vampire?’ *completely insincerely, through his teeth* 'yes.’ oh damn all was well then vincent saw he had no reflection - let’s call the police! broody vampire time oh damn found some glass from the mirror. lol that’s the creepiest alley 'pencil dick’ 'chicken shit’ nice. ahaha weird kid giving him shit 'fruitcake’ i hope he leaves him alone like surely its in his best interest to leave the guys who are convinced he’s not a vampire to live? the way he’s dragging amy around is pretty messed. it doesn’t make sense for the weird kid to die. like he doesn’t believe mate is a vampire. but now he will so? that trenchcoat is horrific the shoulders are like double his width he’s just slow walking toward him while weird kid is scrambling about tripping over rubbish but now he’s trappeeddddd #leaveweirdkidalone  oh damn nvm he’s bruce banner’s redfield and he’s going under the trenchcoat, pressed to banner’s chest. we’re only halfway through where is this all going. oh ahaha they’re doing the lets run as fast as we can and ol mate keeps strolling out in front of us and now they’re in a bar oh god now he’s calling the police. whoop oh damn weird kid’s a vampire ahahahahahahaha oh shit leather jacket fucked up hair jerky movements - oh damn just took a cross to the face - can still cry human tears sweating like crazy, yellow eyes, crosses fuck em up and out the window he go ahaha lol he’s calling the cops a fucking gain god he’s so rough with her now bruce banner s in the club god he’s really not that attractive like at all - he’s got a good brow and hair but that’s it. he’s not intimidating, he doesn’t stand out holy fuck that lady in red - the platinum blonde. just strolling closer and closer, left to right right to left and dumbass is just on the phone and Amy is like hell yeah licking her lips his lower jaw is like broken the way it moves. He didn’t have to touch her for her to stop she’s in a daze under his spell and he knows she can’t escape it, rubbing her hand on his ass lol what the fuck putting his on her’s oh he pulled back her collar and went to bite and she jerked back but not in a scared more like a fuck off now what you thinkin boii challenge eyes uh oh both of their collarbones are exposed and my god she’s tiny and making out with his chest and what the fuck oh just on her knees thought she was going down on him in the middle of the club dumbass is all upset that the girl he’s been dragging around and leading on and treating badly is chilling in the arms of a vampire who, if nothing else, is indeed more handsome than dumbass but at the same time he’s a vampire and I think Amy is in highschool so that makes her what?? oh fuck bruce banner killed the two black bouncers in front of the whole club now there’s chaooooos people screaming  amy and charlie separated in the crowd, bruce banner scoops her up 'AAAAMYYYY’ stretches a hand out dramatically toward her damn weird kid got weirder ahaha what is happening this is actually really great. god he’s whiny. it’s so good. people are fucking calling the police left right and now dumbass has finally figured they won’t believe him or help him. oh lil mate peter vincent is like a proper good actor where did they get him amongst these screaming children. 'amy is gonna die, me too probably’ lol this writing oh damn she wakes on a fur blanket in front of a fire in a white dress that permed hair is so fucked there’s paintings of pretty ladies all around and one of them is blonde amy and there he is with his shirt unbuttoned pants buckled up to the navel like damn, dark hair all ruffled - hs head is too big for his shoulders ew what is this kiss she’s shaking with fear, he is like almost crying for some reason and now she’s okay and taking her titties out and coming after him  and here’s some weird slow kissing and damn he bit her damn wouldn’t you fuck first? fkn charlie in his professor jacket snooping about in the shadows with a big ugly gold cross on that house is perfectly spooky holy shit peter scared the fuck outta me damn he got a box of 'props’ which will actually work, got a gun to take care of billy or whatever, his human buddy they wanna sneak in but the front door opened for them oh damn don’t let anything happen to peter he’s precious. it’s like reading a teen adventure story - good simple but memorable characters, good story with lots going on, not deep or thought-inducing just a fun time  now here’s bruce 'welcome to Fright Night’ all chill just standing there in like a priest’s shirt? no bruce leave vincent alone. oh what the fuck making a weird moaning noise as he backs away from the cross - #leavevincentalone oh fuck weird kid is terrifying  wtf now he’s a wolf demon wolf ruff ruff puppyy oh shit he stabbed the puppy and it yeeted over the banister hit the chandelier and holy fuck that is the worst puppeteering attempt or whatever the fuck they’re going for ever - its a plush toy twitching out and now ewwwww what the fuck is that i thought vampires were vampires not like weird wolf gremlin things - its slowly dying with this stake in it, all thin fingers, whines, and cries holy shit this is taking a while. vincent is crying and holy shit its just weird kid crying with a big table leg in him and now he’s dead holy shit and the cross mark healed and he’s naked. bruce is oh fuck Amy is a vampire —“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’ the drama. can you imagine walking into someone’s house and there’s a naked dead kid with a table-leg through his chest on the foyer floor. the house is pouring out dry ice and green lazer lights and vincent is back my brave boy, with a table-leg and a box all ready to fight. dumbass is struggling to cry over his girl. AMy is turning, I think bruce is making her a coffin. what here we go - everything is as it was in the movies like all the stereotypical shit so now they’re gotta kill Bruce before sunrise so she doesn’t fully turn. monotone - 'stop or i’ll shoot. don’t force me to shoot’ *shoots billy boy in the fkn head* orange eyes man whats with the weird groans and noises when flinching back from the crosses looks like billy boy aint dead after all holy shit blood everywhere yeah just keep shooting im sure that will help oh damn he the terminator - nope he a zombie fuck run don’t ust holy shit he staked him i thought vincent was gonna die he’s dripping green slime he’s got the ebola what the fuck ohmygod ohmygodholyfuckjesus christchrist fuck my god. well that was terrifying. move aside indiana jones . peter ahahah 'eeehhh’ of bruce chillin outside the window. he uses like fifty different voices and accents 'show me how much you love me amy, kill them both. rraaaargghhhh! *elbows a fkn wall* oh damn at least her gross perm is gone. rarrrrgh! *nervous cross and slow back out of the door* jesus what the fuck his bottom jaw is even worse now he just fkn crashed through the pretty round window.  that jacket damn i hate it so much. oh damn is that the sun? looks like the night is done dumbass and he believes he believes and damn that’s a lot of clocks chiming 6am i think it’s 6am. im sorry what the fuck was that did he just get sniped wat the fuck its a gremlin bat oh my god with fangs and shit its scratching him up oh no it bit dumbass what a shame and ohh he burning in green flame in the light of the sun but he fucked off to the basement where he gone vincent’s cut is gone and dumbass doesn’t seem too worried about his bitten arm. whoop it’s amy all wild hair and long white dress orange eyes, smoky lids, big ass fangs and red lips oh damn what the fucking shit 'it’s not my fault you promised you wouldnt let him get me you promised’ she cries then spins around and its actual fear in his eyes as he screams at the sight of her heavily fanged mouth that reaches from one side of her face to the other jesus cchrist that mouth is terrifying i really am not a fan damn yikes man run ew oh no everyone is in trouble, he is hammering that shit fuck everyone is all kinds of messed up these vampires would have them killed in a second this whole sunlight thing is bull - just cause his face is in the light doesn’t mean you can’t get their legs lol come on the disco-balls are shining and ol mate finally decides to try use his outfit - peter closed his coffin and now he’s trapped i kinda want one of them to die oh damn nvm green flame he went shooting and flying back with the force of that sunlight i think he’s dead 'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ damn what the hell is that skeleton 'AAAAAAMYYYYY’ he cried as he died like what some stories need more depth beyond hey i got a picture of someone who looks exactly like you, imma bite you cause now we’re in love, hey kill your ex to prove you love me, i love you and now im dead . oh god worst part is amy’s hair is back in that perm how the fuck. 'we’ve been going in a circle! we’re right back where we started from’ is the opening to the next scene which is dumbass and amy making out in his room - that’s fkn sick, again 'Fright Night’ is back on with ol mate peter vincent. oh no peter vincent on about aliens wait what was that red eyes in the window is ol mate still alive perhaps ew amy deserves better  but hey what the fuck weird kid survived?? oh he removed the stake damn ahaha. what a movie that was a pretty fun time = 3.5/5

[glittersparklezthott]

what's your favorite thing about all your friends?? :3 gO OFF beautiful man

oof, my friends??? lmao, where do i even start w/those bitches i love them. bUT BEFORE I GO OFF, THIS CANNOT LEAVE US BCAUSE IM DRUNK AS FUCK RN AND HAVE NO FILTER I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA COME OUT OF ME (lmao) AND IF THEY'RE GONNA FUCKIN KILL ME FOR IT so no fuckin snitchin. im watching you 👀

braaanch branch branch bRANCH im so fucking happy we're friends. this is just the tip of the damn iceberg, but he's so fucking nice!! he denies it at any opportunity but not just anyone is as protective as that fucker, he'd do anything for anyone of us and i fucking love that. it annoys the fuck out of me, bcause he doesn't seem to get that we LIKE HIM and him getting hurt is BULLSHIT but i love where it comes from. he'd do fucking ANYTHING to protect us. he's so damn comforting to be around because it kinda feels like nothing's gonna hurt you if he's there?? if that makes any sense, lmao. also he's fucking BEAUTIFUL like??? what the fuck he drinks SWEAT ive sEEN HIM DO IT who gave him the right to be so damn pretty?!?! oOOF and don't get me STARTED on how understanding he is, GOOD FUCK. im sobbing like a baby for no damn reason and he's just THERE looking awkward, sure, but he just talks and talks until i can breathe again and OOF i love that big ol dork

QUEEN POPPY, MY ANGEL!!! she's so brave, like, too brave sometimes. she cares so damn deeply for all of us and i fuckin love that she's always willing to drop something to help us or just frikin make us feel better about some shit that don't even matter. she's just!!! so good!! she's always there to HUG or CUDDLE and she gets that sometimes that's all a man rlly needs to get thru the day again. man my dudes i can trust that girl w/anything, she'd help me bury a BODY with 0 questions. well, i mean. not 0, but you get it, she's so sweet!! fuck man i'd put my life in her hands and i already HAVE she's the most trustworthy person i've ever met. she's so thoughtful too??? like, she genuinelly listenes to complaints and requests of us dumbass villagers who don't know how to do things and she iMPLANTS IMPROVEMENTS ASAP SHE'S AN ANGEL WHO WE TRULY DON'T DESERVE

COOOPEERRRR MY BEST BRO!!!!!! i love that funky boy!!!! coopers so damn chill, i can just fucking go to his house at 3 in the morning and he's all "sup dude, want a drink?" or he just acts like i was there the whole time and screams "GUY I JUST GOT THE BEST PRANK IDEA GET YOUR KEY TO BRANCH'S BUNKER I BOUGHT THE STREAMERS ALREADY LETS FUCK SHIT UP" he's so good at making you feel good no matter what you're doin or what you're goin thru UGH he's fuckin fantastic. whatta lad.

SATIN YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRL oh my GOSH i adore her <333 she's so damn sweet, and her eyeliner game is ON POINT and im jealous. she's just EXUDES this energy that puts a pep in your step bcause if someone like her is around the world CANNOT be all rainclouds and pain, it just can't. impossible. she puts so much thought into her actions and how they can help the people around her she's so good at reading a room! and also ((don't tell her she doesn't know it was me)) i stole a batch of one of her first test batch of cookies and they were DAMN delicious. she's so talented at everything she does and even if she isn't at first she works and works until she IS i adore that in her. ((dont tell poppy, but her hugs are my favorite i think))

and one cannot be without the other mISS CHENILLE!!! she's a dramatic BITCH and i LOVE HER good fuck her sarcasm is ON POINT prAISE THE LORD she's SAVAGE. we've spent HOURS once just smack-talking each other, i don't even remember how it started, but she's a QUEEN. but she's also super respectful?? she knows how to get under people's skin but also knows where to push and where to hold, u know???? that doesn't make sense but like, she knows what to say in either extreme like, if you bein a sad bitch she knows what to say to fix it and make you either feel better or just talk some sense into you. she doesn't judge or ask to many questions she just. listens then verbally tells you how to fix it or how to feel better about it and for some reason when she talks i just. believe her??? lol, wack i know, but she's a damn good person and i appreciate her more than i think she knows

biggieeeeee what an angel. a big ol teddy bear. he's such a damn bleeding heart, he's so hekcin kind <33333 he knows how to hug too, nothing can get past the WARMTH that he fucking pours out of him in every second. he sees the world through such compassionate and pure eyes, but he's far far FAR from naive and i love how he sees the shitty parts and still thinks everything around us is beautiful in ways he can barely even explain but it's already so clear in the way he looks at the things and people around him. every second w/biggie is a blessing i stg <333

suki is a different kind of chill than cooper, she just sees things happening around her and knows they'll pass one day and lets that keep her calm and im hECKIN JEALOUS!! she's so good with people too, especially kids!!! she knows how to keep things light while also keeping them real and it's amazing. AND HER MUSIC, HOLY SHIT, SHE'S SO TALENTED!!!! SHE'S SO DAMN GOOD!!!! everything i hear from her is a BOP and it SLAPS i adore her!! oof, tbh she's one of the first people who made me adore what my voice could do, she finally talked me into singing the lead for one of her songs when we were dumb-ass tweenagers and hasn't let me look back since. it's rough to look back on now, tweenagers and all, but that's w/out a single doubt when i stopped hating my autotune jams~  she knows how to give everyone a place w/out making it obvi that she's doing anything special or out of the ordinary. Suki is a goddamn angel.

SMIDGE!!! THAT BITCH SHE'S A FUCKING /RIOT/ I LOVE THAT WACKY LESBIAN. our rivalry dictates that im not allowed to say that but good fuck what kinda asshole would i be if i left her out of this lovefest she's AMAZING and i can't even lie. she's so damn determined about everything she does!!! she's beautiful and she never lets anyone judge her for a single damned thing FUCK i wish i had that confidence its SEXY AS FUCK. she's so damn strong too??? she's been lifting since we were 14 and she's sTILL not stopping she's gonna lift up the entire damn world one day and i can't wait to see it. she's so loyal to us too, and like, even on your worst days you'd never ever doubt HER friendship bcause she'd bench press YOU into a suplex if you dared to. she does anything even if she's not good at it just because she wants to try. smidge is a beautiful bitch and despite our rivalry im damn well aware that we'd die for each other.

i have succesfully went OFF i hope that's what you wanted bby <333 

THIS DOES NOT LEAVE THIS POST  B LEASE REMEMBER THAT

[juniemunie]

HTTYD Books: How To Ride a Dragon’s Storm Commentary :P (w/text pictures!)

((shoutout to astrid-the-fearless that started the whole thing and giving me permission <3))

Yoooo this is how far I’m in the books right now thanks to the blessing of pdfs and I thought; “Hey? Lemme try reacting to this!!” 

Mind you, this is ridiculously long and it’s all because of the pictures I added in lmao so peruse for your amusement ((I might continue this just for kicks :P))

So it begins!

-everything went wrong when the fire nation attacked

-OOh! Swimming competition?? Don’t count me in!! I’m terrible at swimming, in  fact, I don’t know how to do it at all!!! :DDD

-of course the competition has to have a spice of suicidal bravery and possible death

-clueless, tf dude

-aRE WE GONNa TIME TRaVEL??? WHaTS THE WHOLE aLaRM THING OLD WRINKLY??? EXPLaINNNN HoW DID U EVEN KNOW????

-the judges are basically 99% old dudes 99% of the time

-aweeee toothless u cutie

-snotlout my boy, sometimes i really want to strangle u, u know

-yooo sTOICK U'RE DOING UR BEST THE BEST ISNT aLaWYS THE MOST OBVIOUS he's trying im proud that he's trying

-good ol teamwork

-nONONONONO DONT TRUST EM 

-u got bamboozled 

-only in the near end of his life, yeah

-oh man hes gonna kill em again 

-same

-awe, she's just like meatlug

-uh oh

-bet y'all it gets worse

-damn straight

-sHOOT CaMI NOOO-

-i hear the Jaw's theme song guys

-tOOTHLESS KEEPS TRYING ;-;

-well you're a jolly dragon23

-how was this marketed for children again

-brUH U SERIOUS?? I JUST THOUGHT IT Was only nORBERT

-woh fist time getting a look on nobert and he looks cool

-whoops u gon axe him again??

-u mean an unfortunate series of events??? wink wink

-i wouldn't go there if i were you its completely messy there

-buddy this dude has survived so many times out of pure dumb luck

-theres still more to go hiccup so much more

-awww this is such a throwback to the first book

-norbert is a crazy inventive dude i wanna see how well he goes with movie hiccup in the right circumstances :/

-thats a problem

-im not sure whether to be terrified or impressed

-yoooo hiccup youre right youre prize is absolute misery

oh no

-whoops i guess this is where he became a slave??

-bitter grandma is bitter than all my mates when discussing love42

-oH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD THIS IS IT HES GOING TO BECOME a SLaVE  HOLD ME

-nONONONONONONONO NOOOOOOOO

-my poor boy my POOR BOY

-oh man i knew this already but its still giving me shivers

-look at these drunk cuties lmao

-perfect excuse toothless hiccup totally believes u

-yOOO dragon nip exists in the books too!!!??

-This is one happy lot

-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-Uh oh

-Look at this happy boy <3

-U sure??? I don’t think so

-Oh shit.

-oHHHH shitTTTT

-u aint wrong tho

-hahahaAHAHAHAHA not yET

-well fuck

-YO. WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE.

-Oh. My fucking god.

-pHYSICS  WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY US-

-Knock knock its death’s doorstep

-Chances are, it wont.

-yEP

-“dafuq, why the hell is he running at us??” “maybe he’s given up”

“is it just me or is that an eye back there? “oh sHIT-“

-Y’all these kids know the drill already

-Toothless’ still asleep during the whole ordeal lmao

-So that’s how it works…69

-Stuff like that usually happens boyo they’ll prolly be back

-Poor Ronald.

-Not anOTHER ONE

-Shouldve made a spare and changed it while you were still in the border smh *Cinema Sins Ding*

-same

-a terrifying but intriguing thought.

-These sweet loyal kids backin up their parents yo ((Poor Fishlegs))

-i like the books that they portray a more worrier Stoick but the movieversion is also great too

-DON’T BELIEVE IT STOICK

-This LITTLE SHIT

-what??? really?? That’s a dumb revenge excuse :/

-We DON’T

-Holy shit he survived ((just like his third son cOUGH COUGH))

-In short; “Sorry to disappoint the masses, but I AM STILL ALIVE”83

-YOOOOO OLD WRINKLY KNEW??? HE’S AWESOME aND INSaNE!

-Poor stoick, tbh if he was movie stoick he’d have a heartattack by now

-Shit I feel bit teary in the eyes-DON’T LOOK AT ME!

-True just like this post that has way too much pictures like tf

-Sweet, but WHY WOULD yOU LEaVE THEM BEHIND???

-tbh this is both true

-Basically every country that was going to pillage America

-Oh shit times up

-whA-AA-At???

-Hiccup u little shit

-Discrimination between hair color too??? Jesus. Just when I thought skin colors -were ridiculous

-Have I told y’all I love sword fighting hiccup?? Because I do

-Nooo not his poor beard agaIN

-Oh. Oh no.

-fuck.

-Godzilla??? That u??

-tHINK aGaIN

-Tbh cats are sometimes really cruel ; - ;

-Nope. Theres always a chance of death bro

-OF COURSE IT WaS.

-This ridiculously huge shit

-Geezus. You’re fucked hiccup.

-Press F to pay respect

-ToothLESS HICCUP IS GONNa FUCKIN DIE

-TOOTHLESS U LITTLE SHIT

-Tbh, he does have a point

-Friendly reminder hiccup wrote this himself

-Hiccup the Insane. Sounds about right

-Me procrastinating some stuff i cant procrastinate while everything is going wrong

-yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-yOOOOOOOO tf he doin??

-“yo bro”

“yeah loki?”

“some kid’s asking for your help. It’s getting pretty intense.”

“really? Lemme see”

“see?”

*whistles* “wow, he’s crazy. I like it.”

-“wtf is this dumb redhead doing??” everyone thought simultaneously

-oHHHHHH LIGHTNING LIKES METaL!!!!

-Benjamin Franklin can eat HIS HEaRT OUT123

“wow thor, you actually helped”

“¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

“how tf did you say that”

-Ship: If I die, I die with STYLE.((Like Grimbeard fucker sang to his death while burning his entire kingdom down))

-SWIM FISHLEGS SWIM ((wow he c an swim now amazing what near death experiences teach you))

-Poor toothless ; - ;126

-Itsss the cirrccccleeeeee the ciiirrrccclleeeee of liiiiiifeeeee

-Lets hope I wont learn to swim in this emotionally draining way 0-0

-Tbh this is kinda terrifying imagine if they died this way 0-0

-I KNEW THEYD BE BaCK YOU BETTER BRING HICCUP aBOaRD U LITTLE SHIT

-Oh thank god

-In short; “we have ship standards, peasants.”

-LaTE FOR a VERY IMPORTaNT DaTE

-G G. u did ur best lol

-yEEEE YOU BEST KNOW IT HICCUP Me BOYYY

-They gONNa FLYYYYY

-FISHLEGS MY BOY WERE GONNa DO IT WHETHER U WaNT TO OR NOT

-That’s THE TRUE CHIEFTaN WaY BOIS EXaCTLY HOW STOICK DIED- I mean shit uh

-Awww berk would love u back in their own way too

-*sobbing in the distance* ((fuckin alvin))

-yOU BET THEY ALL ARE

-“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” screamed the Reader.

-Happy sweet old senile future guessing dudes make me happy ; v ;

-How tf would it be deer

-Just like Grimbeard did.

-YOOOO IM SO PROUD OF YOU FISHLEGSSSS

-“IM SORRY TO DISAPPOINT THE MASSES, BUT I AM STILL ALIVE.”

-SNOTLOUT DO U WANT TO BE DEAD??? ((before your proper death))

-When Old Wrinkly is mad at u, you better be ashamed of urself.

-He really is Grimbeard’s Heir ain’t he? ; v ;

-Uhhh more common than u think boyo *turns to Harry Potter*

-oooHHH u done for gumboil

-My heart kindly says mercy, but my mind screams revenge

-SHit stop giving me ides to draWWWWW

-Somethings are often just found at home <3 like my MISSING PENCIL WHERE TF IS IT

-Summary of Httyd 2 Hiccup

-SO MUCH WISDOM IN THE EPILOGUE HICCUP SLOW DOWN

-Nooo HICCUPPPP- THE DRagONSSSSS

-DON’T REMIND ME OF THE SLaVEMaRK U CRUEL BEING

wow

that was a ride from start to end. (pUN INTENDED)

things are getting intensee

*scrambles to read the next book*